#I think this is. Uh.

[reallivewire]

"Do not open your heart to evil, because if you do, evil will come" do you promise

[kiryuing]

[redsray]

The batkids getting in trouble with the JL somehow when undercover or when using aliases and instead of... you know... the aliases... they give their siblings first names. Batman has gotten multiple calls from the JL where they'd be like

Green Lantern: Uh Bats we've got a 'Jason' in custody here he's asking for you.

Batman, panicking bc wtf did Jay do this time:

Tim: Hi!

Batman: You're not Jason.

Tim, dead serious: I don't know what you're talking about.

[footlongdingledong]

[nerdpoe]

Danny is at a Ghost Hunting Convention in Gotham with his parents. He hates his past self for thinking that going to Gotham was a good idea.

He's in a tank, full of water, with a curtain draped over it as the Joker waxes poetic about how Batman is too late and blah, blah, blah.

Danny has bigger problems than Batman's pissing contest with Joker.

His parents are on the outside of the water tank he's been stuck in for the last twenty minutes. As a Halfa, he just stopped breathing, no big deal.

But they don't know he can do that.

He needs to do something so that they don't think he's a ghost, and going intangible is out because, obviously, that would make him a ghost.

...Hadn't Clockwork said that his status as a Halfa made him...flexible? On what he looked like?

That meant shapechanging, like Amorpho.

It would be really, really hard to explain, but also, better than being mistaken for a ghost.

He squeezes his eyes shut, hopes he doesn't come out of this looking like a horrifying version of clayface, forces himself to change.

The skin on his neck ripples, his legs fuse like when he's in his ghost form, and the sensation is so strange he gasps...and he can breathe.

The curtain is still over the tank of water.

Danny is glowing.

There are freckles that are glowing a soft green that dot his arms and...tail.

He's a mermaid. Merman.

Well.

Maybe he can say it was a recessive gene?

[fern-writes-whump]

so obviously drinking blood from someone's neck is incredibly homoerotic, it's a classic for a reason

but someone drinking from your wrist? getting to look at them as they sink their teeth in your skin?? being able to watch as their eyes flutter close and they barely hold back their instincts to devour you whole??? Being just as enthralled by that sight as they are by your taste???? hello?????

[7roaches]

sorry that took like an hour i stopped to eat dinner heres my idea

[hamable]

You’re Ruben Hopclap. You’re a teen rock star headlining a local festival. Your interim principal attempts to kill you multiple times. The elusive crush you wrote all your songs about vanishes with some other kids and returns covered in gore. The most popular guy in school jumps fifteen feet in the air, turns to you with a smirk and says, “I’m actually a huge fan,” and spears said principal through the core. Your crush boards a bus going who knows where. Someone gets on a mic and tells everyone to go home. It’s been four minutes.

[spitblaze]

Men and masculinity are not inherently bad or untrustworthy things and I don't mean that in a 'misandry is real and a problem' way, I mean that in a 'I think some of you might have contracted minor radfem poisoning' way

[deadmomjokes]

PSA: tomatoes are not spicy. Tomatoes and tomato products should not be spicy. Pizza sauce isn't inherently spicy. Tomato-based pasta sauce is not spicy. Ketchup is NOT spicy.

If tomatoes are spicy, you have an allergy to tomatoes.

This announcement brought to you by my almost 29-year-old husband learning for the first time in his 2.8 decades of putting food products into his mouth that spaghetti and saucy pizza aren't spicy foods

[applestruda]

*redesigns my grian the night before the new hc season*

[newttxt]

vague and sketchy captain trio shenanigans,, idk pretend theyre seastone bullets or something

[critterbitter]

The twins attempt reparations. Elesa is charmed by their wet emolga impressions and earnest earmuffs. She still can't understand their words very well but she can read between the lines of script.

A day after after this Unfortunate Sequence of Events!

For more submas content, feel free to hit up this masterpost.

[upon-the-snow]

early mornings after nightmares

[lunarwednesday]

be mine.

[bribinart]

hear me out hear me out hear me out..... dracopia but it's the dracula (1992) rendition (prints!)