#I threw this in my drafts and forgot to post

[unusualsims]

They're so cool their style is never cramped Too much of everything, and everyone is amped

Punk Billie for this month's dogcrew cas challenge!!! <3

[crimesought]

his bf tavern is 5’10

"You know I can sit down if you wanted a kiss."

[rolodextra]

op is not peddling falsehoods. there’s not a single caption in sight. it really is just random pics with no explanation. quality addition to the feed 100/10 would recommend

hideo kojima is so funny he's literally using bluesky like it's instagram. just random pictures

[hazza3000]

No rizz just constant yapping - Stiles Stilinski

main masterlist Teen wolf masterlist

I'm not too sure how to feel about this one but it's been sat in my drafts for so long I finally decided to post it, let me know how you feel!

---

Stiles can't stop staring. He's not going to say he has a problem, he does, but he just can't help himself. She's always been there, so effortlessly beautiful and kind to everyone, she was never like Lydia who made fun of him before becoming friends she's always been nice and there for him.

Even though stereotypically she shouldn't be considering she hangs out with Lydia, Jackson and Danny but she never stopped speaking to them. It always used to be the three of you against the world and when high school came and friendship groups changed although you hung out with Lydia's group you never stopped talking to them, showing up to hang outs and inviting them to the parties you threw.

Before he may have stood a chance with saying something but instead in his brain he thought it would be easier to make up this crush on Lydia which he regrets now but hey, young teenage him didn't understand it and when he decided as a young freshman was the year to admit it to you, you started hanging out with Lydia's group. 

Now with the supernatural infiltrating your lives, you still somehow smile, when Scott was bit you believed Stiles that he was a werewolf, heck you were out in the woods with them. He likes you, so much, yet you, kind you just see him as a friend.

"Dude your jaw is literally going to fall off" Scott states looking at his best friend with an eye roll, it's always the same thing.

Stiles doesn't hear him to start off with watching as you walk through the hallway, walk feels like an understatement it's more of a strut, confidence and perfection rolling off you. Stiles can't tear his eyes away from the short skirt that rests high up on your thighs, the tight top, the flawless curls. Perfection to describe you is an understatement.

Your face in what almost seems to be a pout soon changes when you spot them stood down the hall, a wide smile breaks out on your pretty lips as you immediately make a beeline over to them. Your heels click on the floor whilst Stiles stares, a goofy grin forming on his face, love struck eyes taking over his expression, puppy love with so much more meaning than any one of the boys could comprehend.

"Hey guys" your sultry voice makes the hallway go silent; all Stiles can focus on is you.

"Hey, hi, how’s your day going" Stiles rambles, stumbling over his words as he attempts to act casual but fails miserably.

In an attempt to save himself from embarrassment he tries to lean against his lockers, trying to perfect the cool guy façade. However, he forgot his locker door is open so instead of his elbow meeting the locker it meets empty space causing him to trip and almost fall headfirst. Your arms move before your mind can comprehend as you catch him from falling, a gasp falling from your lips startled at how clumsy your friend can be.

"Are you okay?" your voice asks startled as you grip him tighter feeling him almost fall from your grasp.

Stiles cringes and groans both internally and externally, yet again he’s made a fool of himself in front of you. The one person who he wishes to impress, the one person who he wishes would see his looks for what they are. Everyone else around them knows that he is totally in love with you, but you, you remain oblivious at this point he can’t tell if it’s on purpose because your too nice to reject him or whether you really are this clueless.

"Smooth, real smooth" Isaac murmurs, feeling pained for him, I mean it's hard to watch.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm great even better now" Stiles stammers standing up straight.

A frown etches across his face as he feels you remove your hands from his shoulders, his body aches for your touch, yearning for you to give him your undivided attention. He goes to say something when his eyes land on the little pink slips in your hands, dusted with glitter and black cursive writing in the middle, invitations his brain eventually supplies.

A ridiculously high IQ slashed too nothing in your presence, really, he should be tested or maybe medicated but the only medication he can stomach is you.

"Now what are those, pretty lady?" Isaac asks causing Stiles to scowl, he doesn't like his tone.

Stiles has never been particularly fond of Isaac; the sassy wolf having caused a lot of problems for Stiles in the beginning, but hatred begins mixing with the jealousy in his stomach at the easy flirtation that comes from the blond beta. Every time he’s around you; he flirts in a way that Stiles wishes he can possess.

Stiles is a smart man but when it comes to you, he doesn’t think, and he most certainly doesn’t hesitate. His hand reaches for his bag itching for the wolfsbane inside, only for emergencies, Deaton told him, and Stiles can promise that it will be an emergency if Isaac doesn’t stop flirting with you. His anger gets put to a standstill at your wide smile taking over the concerned expression that was once there, excitement his brain supplies.

"Oh, their invitations for a party after the lacrosse game tonight" your excitement is contagious, and he isn't the only one who feels it noticing how the rest of his friends begin beaming.

You begin handing out an invite to each of them before stopping at Isaac and giving him four, the blonde wolf frowns at you about to question. Scott smiles widely like a puppy, immediately thanking you. Once again, you’ve turned the mood around knowing that every one of them needs a bit of fun after dealing with the latest big bad.

"Thanks, it'll be nice for everyone to cool off a bit" the teen wolf says with a beaming smile, one of the only parties he's ever been consistently invited to, even before the bite was yours.

"There's one for you, Erica, Boyd and Derek if he wants to come. I haven't seen the others all day, but I wanted them to feel included. Oh, and tell Erica that she can come earlier with the rest of the girls to get ready" you explain, and what could only be described as heart eyes take over Isaacs face.

The way you effortlessly include everyone, not wanting anyone to feel left out or sad, no matter what. It's one of the reasons Derek was a lot nicer to you, your too nice for your own good. Its why Stiles gets so protective over you, it's like you couldn't see evil unless it smacked you in the face, not that he’d ever let that happen.

"Thank you, I'm sure they'd appreciate it" Isaac says, not sure how he's going to tell Derek he's been invited to a party.

Isaac's grin is wide, he's never really had a friend like her before, someone who can invite anyone in with open arms. She was one of the only people when Lydia rejected him to speak up and ask him if he was okay before walking him out. She's a soft spot for the whole pack.

"They don't have to come of course, but I want everyone to be included. Oh, shoot I have to get to class, I'll see you guys later" you wave your hand about to leave before Stiles jolts into action, well with a smack on the back from Scott.

"I can walk you, if you like? I mean we have the same class, and I thought—" Stiles begins rambling not knowing when to keep his mouth shut.

"Yeah, that would be nice" you say cutting him off with a finger to his lips.

He clumsily packs his bag not wanting to keep you waiting before leaving the other two wolves who just shake their heads at him. It's tragic, the way he fails at every interaction, his constant yapping and quite obvious pining, it's painful to watch.

"If Stiles doesn't snatch her up soon, I might have to swoop in" Isaac comments earning a smack from Scott as the two wolves leave shaking their head at the scene—

Said scene being Stiles walking close to you as he begins talking your ear off about something. Your smiles wide as you listen to him intently never one to cut him off and quite happy to listen as it’s usually something interesting. Never one to cut anyone off, always there to listen… your too sweet.

--

Erica, Lydia, and Allison came back to your house after school to get ready for the lacrosse game and party afterwards and although it was awkward to begin with conversation soon started to flow between the four of you. Cocktails and smiles before the big game tonight, they helped you set up for the party later, parents away as always makes for a lot of parties at your house.

"Here I got you something" Allison says pulling a jersey out of her bag and handing it to me.

I frown looking at the number fourteen on the back and the words Stilinski etched in the top. It's normally the girlfriends of the players that wear the jerseys and I'm about to tell her as much when Lydia cuts of my train of thoughts.

"Come on, just wear it. We're all wearing lacrosse shirts, and we didn't want you to feel left out. Plus, it's clean, Scott washed it before giving it to her" Lydia states nudging the shirt closer to me.

"Did you ask him? What if he gets offended with me wearing it?" I ask with a hint of confusion in my voice.

Erica just shakes her head with a laugh Boyd's jersey clinging to her chest, considering she made me put about a hundred pins in the back just so it would fit her. My frown deepens at her laugh, curious if I said something wrong.

"Trust me, honey. He will be far from offended" Erica says, so I agree with a shrug pulling it on as the girls help me style it too my outfit, whilst their scheming continues.

I can’t see any harm in it if Stiles doesn’t mind, it doesn’t take us long to finish getting ready before heading over to the school. We promised the boys that we’d meet them on the lacrosse field whilst they warm up for the game. Scott waves us over with a happy smile, immediately coming over to Allison and telling her how pretty she is, puppy love it’s adorable.

Stiles, Isaac and Jackson on the other hand seem deep in some form of debate. After hearing Scott speak up Stiles turns and his jaw practically falls of his face, his eyes glaze and his cheeks turn pink. Hunger is evident in his gaze as he looks over the jersey that’s hung over my figure. 

When Scott had told him that he’d given his jersey to a girl, Stiles was furious ranting and raving at the thought of you now thinking that he had a girlfriend because some random girl was wearing his jersey. He should’ve have known that his best friend wouldn’t have done that and now his anger with Scott turns to amazement, he could kiss the man.

“Hey guys” I say with a wide grin, walking over carefully so my heels don’t sink to much in the grass.

“Hey” Stiles says too dumbstruck to stumble on his words.

He’s barely able to focus with you wearing his jersey, HIS. A possessive feeling surges through his chest as he thinks about the other students believing he has some claim over you, it almost feels like he does as well, his imagination runs wild as his lacrosse shorts begin tightening. He needs to cool it and quick.

“Sorry about the jersey, you can have it back after—” I attempt to apologise wondering why he’s so quiet.

Stiles is never one to be quiet, he’s known for his sarcasm and inability to shut up so if seeing me in his jersey has made him go silent, he’s probably too nice to say that a boundary has been crossed. I wouldn’t want to upset him, and I would over to take off but I’m not wearing anything underneath. 

Isaac and Jackon on the other hand shake their heads, confused on how you can be so oblivious. Jackson is convinced that your just taking pity on Stiles and not wanting to upset him by rejection and he told Stiles as much before you came over hence a debate occurring whilst Isaac believed that you may like someone else, like him, and your too sweet to say anything as you don’t want to upset Stiles.

“No, it’s fine it looks better on you anyway, you should keep it” Stiles blurts out, not even thinking about his words or the implications of them.

His face turns bright red as his brain catches up with his mouth realising that his lack of filter has once again messed it up with you. He wants to take it back but is scared he’ll make himself look more of a dickhead. However, when your laughter plagues his ears, he can’t even form words.

“Thanks, Sti” I say with a beaming smile, placing a kiss on his cheek.

Stiles has to bite back a groan, his knees suddenly feel weak and is it hot out here. You pull back a glossy stain staying on his cheek which he refuses to wipe off, he’s never washing his face again, he’s decided. He hears Jackson snort behind him as his brain comes back online but before he can shout at him the sound of a whistle cuts through the pitch.

Coach. The conversation comes to an abrupt end as coach appears hollering at the boys to come to the field for his usual pep talk which has definitely been stolen from a movie and it always ends with him telling them to win. We bid the boys a goodbye before making our way over to the stands by the bench.

Not too long after that the lacrosse game begins, the game is rough brutal teenagers being hit off here and there the bench becoming sparser as injuries make their rounds. We’ve been neck and neck the entire game. Stiles is sat on the bench anxiously having a bad feeling about this, it almost seems supernatural the way players are being knocked about. 

Stiles startles as a hand is placed on his shoulder, looking up to see you smiling encouragingly being able to sense his nerves from behind him. The lacrosse glove falls from his lips as he stares at you for a little longer than what’s socially acceptable, he even seems to miss as another player gets sent off.

“Stilinski, you’re up” Coach hollers at him but Stiles was too busy staring at me to be able to comprehend his words.

“What?” Stiles questions turning to look at coach confused as to why he’s talking to him, he never talks to the bench warmers. 

“Do you want to play or—” Coach attempts to rant but gets cut off by me as I stand up nudging Stiles, assuming his lack of words his down to nerves.

“He wants to play don’t you, Sti” I say nudging him forwards, as the words seem to register in his brain his eyes widen.

“Yeah, play in the game, yeah” Stiles jumps off the bench, the supernatural world leaving his brain as he jogs on the pitch.

“Go, Stiles” I cheer loudly, his cheeks turning red as he covers them with his helmet.

The game continues the same for a little while until the last ten minutes. Stiles manages to get the ball, he seemingly stares at it for a moment shock from the fact that he just caught it, he doesn’t run he just stares momentarily.

“Stiles run” I scream loudly, the others on the Beacon Hills side screaming at him as well cheering him on as he finally takes off into a sprint.

And somehow ends up scoring the winning goal, the crowd goes wild as the whistle blows signalling the end of the game as we win, with only one goal ahead. Scott and Boyd immediately run over launching him in the air as the other players pat him on the back cheering celebrating the win. 

Family and friends on the stands rush onto the field getting ready to celebrate as coach screams cheering the win. Stiles is beaming with pride, having the moment he has always dreamed of come true feels amazing. I run straight over to him getting ready to celebrate and as soon as his feet hit the ground, he looks around for me, taking his helmet off to help him see better.

He watches as I rush over to him beaming and he picks me up without a second thought, I a girlish shrill leaves my lips as he spins me around happily. He hardly notices Scott and Allison behind him, or the other players jostling us around he has me in his arms and he played in an actual lacrosse game, not only that he scored the winning goal! 

“You did it!” I exclaim excitedly a wide smile etched onto my lips as I pull back to look at him.

“Yeah, I guess I did” Stiles says a matching grin on his face.

It’s only then that he notices the proximity, our faces are close together, foreheads practically touching, his jersey clinging to my figure and before he can think about it, he leans forwards closing the gap. His lips find mine without even thinking about what he’s done, it was too easy it wasn’t his fault, and this wasn’t a part of his six-year plan.

A startled gasp falls from my lips as our mouth’s connect, shock written across my face. Stiles hearing this noise immediately pulls away about to apologise, fearing that he’s ruined everything that he’s rushed into this without even asking. Before he can even speak, I grab the back of his neck and pull him in again, my lips connoting with his in a more passionate kiss.

My legs wrap around his waist, my nails raking through his hair as we spend a few minutes wrapped up in bliss. Stiles is in a haze not believing that this is the end to his already perfect night, he finally got the girl. The girl of his dreams, the girl he’s been dreaming about for ten years, and nothing can stop him now.

Hollering breaks, us apart eventually, the team seemingly whooping and cheering as we pull apart, but Stiles isn’t ready for this to end. His lips immediately begin chasing mine eagerly, he’s finally got his moment he doesn’t want anyone else to spoil it.

“Stiles” I whisper, placing my hand on his cheek as he grins at me dopily.

“Yeah” he responds voice hoarse, his forehead moving to rest against mine once again.

“Later” I say placing one last kiss to his lips before jumping down.

His brain finally catches up and his jaw drops slightly at the implication as I begin walking away over to Allison and Lydia before he can question what I mean. Scott and Isaac come over shoving him in congratulations as the rough housing begins, happy that their friend both one the game and got his girl simultaneously.

“You finally did it” Scott exclaims excitedly, and Stiles can’t help but grin.

“Yeah, I did” Stiles replies with the same smile he’s had on his face since he won the game, watching as I talk with the girls.

“I can’t believe you had it in you” Isaac states, looking over at us and Stiles is about to retort snarkily when my voice breaks through.

“Stiles, are you coming?” I ask, calling over to them as Allison makes her way too Scott, all of us about to leave to head to mine for the real party to begin.

“Always” Stiles responds without even thinking, immediately walking over picking his helmet up on the way.

We naturally split off into couples, none of us even thinking about it, completely natural. Stiles is a nervous wreck as we make our way over to the jeep, his hands clammy and before he can stop himself, he asks the question he needs to know the answer too.

“You know I really like you, right?” Stiles asks, earning a snort from me as I turn to face him.

My back presses against the Jeep’s passenger side, as I pull him forward by his jersey his lips caressing mine once again, I run my finger down his jaw before allowing it to dip over his torso nails scraping in their wake.

“I do now” I say, leaning forwards to place a kiss on his lips. 

It turns out Stiles can get his dream girl, and good things do happen in Beacon Hills, even too human boys like him that have zero flirting skills and are all talk. And let’s just say if the windows are steamed up and they both arrive at the party late, no one says anything…

Well at least not until the morning as it was her party after all.

[everywherea11thetime]

Lego date| LN4 X reader

A/N: a real short blurb that has been siting in my drafts bc i lowk forgot to post for a really long time. I know it’s bad, sorry

You and Lando were lying on his bed mindlessly scrolling through TikTok “Baby I’m bored” you’d said to him he turned so yall were eye to eye “Get ready” You gave him a confused glance “For Where” he walked to his closet “meh we’re just going to target” you threw on a hoodie, you and Lando walked out to his car. The car ride was full of singing and holding hands, you’d just walked in the target, and Lando grabbed a basket and reached for your hand “Follow me” “Wha-“ he started running to the toy section and stopped when he reached the lego section “legossss” you both looked around and got to the speed champion section “OH MY GOD LOOK” you both whispers yelled as you held up the Mercedes lego set and Lando held up the McLaren one his smile turned to a frown “ wow babe does my team mean nothing to you” he said jokingly, “awh babes never but lewis comes first…always” you put both your legos in the basket and also picked up some flower legos. He paid and you drive home, singing your songs and his songs. You’d finally gotten home and started building your legos together, halfway through you guys got hungry so you ordered food after putting your blood, sweat, and tears into your legos you had put your cars on a shelf and your flowers on your bedside table. “cmon baby let’s get ready for bed” Lando said as he carried you bridal styles to your bathroom, you both brushed your teeth side by side then he left you to do the rest of your routine. By the time you finally finished and got out of the bathroom you saw a very sleepy lando curled up like a cat on top of the covers. You looked around taking the scenery in, you were so happy, you had an amazing night with your amazing boyfriend and now you were gonna go to sleep. You moved him under the covers and fell asleep

[amazingdeadfish]

Blue and Violet Scenes/Ideas that never made the cut

Self Indulgent post ahead, but I kind of wanted to share some of the things that had been part of the early stages of BAV but were cut out when I finally started publishing! Most of this stuff was either cut out due to my interpretations of the characters naturally changing and/or I simply realized that these aspects simply could not fit the story I wanted to tell (or, they are just silly things I simply could not fit into the plot line. OR, I forgot about them and didn't remember these things existed until now 💀).

Starting off strong with a thing I actually wrote a segment for (an idea that was relatively recent compared to the ones down below): During Colours, Baihe and Macaque were meant to visit the ruins of her house and try and salvage any bits and pieces which might help them find her parents. In the end I had decided that, Baihe would have done that already before Macaque found her on the park bench. I just think that that moment between her and her old home should just... well, it's a moment that belongs to her. Something Macaque didn't need to bare witness.

Extra Info: This is where Baihe was originally meant to find the old photo of her, her parents, and Māo as a kitten. And... Macaque is there in the background. Stealing an air fryer that managed to survive the wreckage (this was in fact written into the draft of this segment).

Next is- well, it contains a bit of a heavy topic. It's about Mayor and LBD and... erm...

In the published version of TQFTSK. Macaque betrays the Chief and locks them in the Calabash and this inevitably leads to LBD telling Chief to cut off their hair. Originally, this was not going to be the only thing she would do.

I have incredibly mixed feelings about this concept, but basically, after Chief especially failed to get the key and 'let' Macaque escape, LBD would have had severe insecurities about the Chief being on their own and the idea that they would never be able to get anything done without her. So, she made them wear a collar. So that every time they didn't do anything right, the needles imbedded into it would dig into their throat and- well, it was basically torture. She would have called it 'necessary discipline'. Of course, the collar would not be visible to anyone. It only appears when it's 'necessary'.

But this was an extremely early concept that I threw away in the bin after realising that this was not what I wanted LBD and Mayor's relationship to be like. While the initial idea behind this was to really empathize the fact that LBD owns Mayor and is extremely controlling, the idea of a physical collar ruins that aspect of their relationship. It's a visual and painful representation of their relationship, sure, but it made their relationship too negative and, well, Mayor loves her. And I knew it needed to be important to at least give you guys some sort of reason and some sort of argument as to why that admiration and love would be justified. The collar was just too much, and it didn't fit LBD's character to do something like this.

Side Note: One thing I think subconsciously happened though, was the needle thing. LBD ended up killing Ling with tens of thin needles piercing through their body. So, not a collar, but the basic principle of needles being used for pain... remains. It may or may not be to do with the idea of 'stitching up a puppet to fix its mistakes'.

Moving on, a more silly one this time! Somewhere near the beginnings of all of this (all the way back when I had only planned to make TQFTSK and Colours), there was going to be one single chapter (in Colours) dedicated to the Mayor going through all the stages of grief (eventually I'd come to the conclusion that they needed a lot more than one chapter to do all of that lmao). As a part of their bargaining stage, Macaque was going to stumble upon them in a bar and- unfortunately, being the curious nut he is, decides to stick around and just listen to the Mayor drunkenly mope.

PSA: No, this would not have ended in drunk kissing. This was meant to end in a snotty nosed Mayor and Macaque promptly leaving after he'd had his bit of listening to their misery.

Another thing was that Mayor was meant to be able to see souls! This particular story feature eventually just evolved into Mayor simply being able to judge a soul by looking at their eyes (hence the whole, "eyes are the gateway to the soul").

Another Note: This whole idea was also meant to emphasize the fact that Mayor has no soul and, how whenever they look inside themselves, there is no colour and there is no soul (that is, until they get their soul back). But, well, I figured their eyes alone would be able to do all of that just fine without this ability.

Now, as ashamed as I am to admit, originally I had completely bought into the Baihe, Macaque, and Mayor family dynamic. So, in the beginning, this was what was going to happen.

But then I decided Baihe was not going to conveniently be an orphan or have shitty parents for the sake of this dynamic. No, no no no. She will have loving parents, character development, and she will be more than just a character to fill in the slot of 'the child'. Whenever I write Baihe, I always strive to not use her for the sake of developing Macaque and Mayor's characters. No shame to those who like this dynamic though, its a good one and it's so silly (I still like it to be honest).

Now, let me tell you that there are a LOT more unused concepts than this. It's really just a decent slice from a never ending pile of WIPs and shower thoughts scribbled onto a doc from all the way back in like... 2022-23.

[oatmealwrites]

oatmeal pookie plssss

your new jjk fic ideas are so good but pls share an update on your works im begging from the bottom of this well i fell in PLS

hi pookieeee

YES i need to post an update! [I forgot I had to run a charity 6k this weekend and that threw a delay in a few things]

For jjk:

-> I want to post the CEO! Nanami x Reader [Sports Car] by tonight

-> next jjk headcanon by friday??

For CKNF:

-> I have the next chapter drafted, but i need to edit it... realistically it will be up by end of the week

For ANTF:

-> I have been super slacking on this one [IM SORRY] and it will most likely be an update by this weekendish

overall: my question to you guys

-> do you prefer long chapters at their current pace of like 1x ch a weekish or would you rather have more updates but shorter WC?

-> do you like supplemental content to go with the series [ex. headcanons, one shots, etc.] or would you rather me just spend more time on the main story to get updates out faster?

-> or do u guys like drabbles? high key havent written those but it seems fun

-> [this is just food for thought for me when scheduling writing times as I go through finals bc i have less time to really sit and grind out stuff for the next few weeks] i also genuinely luv to hear ur feedback and what u guys like the most <33

IM SORRY U FELL IN A WELL POOKIE!! I hope to get u out of it soon <333

-oatmeal

[thatcatbasil]

happy valentines-day-was-actually-yesterday-and-not-today day take these dorks kissing

these next two are actually from last month but i threw them into my drafts and forgot to actually post them so i'm including them here

[romanoffshouse]

A Day In The Snow

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary: You spend the first snowfall of the season with Wanda Maximoff.

Word count: 680

A/N: I know I'm very late in posting this. I wrote this fic weeks ago and totally forgot that I have it in my drafts. I hope you like it!

Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Today was your day off so you and Wanda could spend the whole day together. When you woke up, you looked out the window and saw the first snowfall of the season. You loved snow and were so happy that it was finally snowing. You looked back at Wanda, who had her arms wrapped around you and her head on your chest. After Wanda woke up as well, the two of you cuddled in bed for a while until you decided to get up.

You walked to the window and started smiling when you saw how heavily it was already snowing. You turned around and looked at Wanda who was still in bed.

“Wanda, look outside it’s snowing!” You yelled out of excitement and made Wanda chuckle.

Wanda stood up and walked over to you. She reached for your hand and you both watched the snow fall from the window.

“We should go outside after breakfast.” Wanda suggested and you nodded with a smile.

Then the two of you went downstairs to the kitchen to have breakfast. For breakfast, Wanda made pancakes with fruit and maple syrup. After breakfast you put on your warm shoes, a jacket, a scarf and a hat and went outside.

When you opened the door, you ran outside because you hadn’t seen so much snow in a long time. You walked around and then stuck your tongue out to catch a snowflake.

“Look! I caught a snowflake in my mouth!” you said, and Wanda smiled at you.

“Let’s build a snowman!” Wanda suggested and you nodded.

Wanda and you started to form snowballs. Wanda formed the stomach, and you formed the head. After you both finished, Wanda helped you carry the snowball you made over the one she made, to make it to a snowman. Then you took some stones that you found on the ground and used them as eyes and buttons. Wanda went inside and took a carrot for the nose. Then you both took a step back and glanced at the snowman.

“He’s so cute! Just look at the snowman!” Wanda said, looking over at you with a smile.

“Something’s missing.” You said, looking around thoughtfully.

“Really? I think he’s perfect.” Wanda said.

When you finally knew what was missing you reached for the hat that Wanda was wearing.

“Hey, what are you doing!?” Wanda asked in a confused tone.

But you continued doing what you wanted to do and placed the hat on the snowman’s head.

“Now he’s perfect. He just needed a hat.” You said to her and smiled.

After that Wanda grabbed for her hat. “Why did you do that? You ruined a perfectly good snowman!”

 

After a few minutes, you started to form a snowball.

“Snowball fight!!!” you shouted as you threw the first snowball at Wanda.

“Hey, watch my head! You almost got me in the face!” She shouted but then also started to form a snowball and threw it at you. A snowball fight had started, and you and Wanda were having a lot of fun in the snow, but after a while Wanda noticed that you were getting cold. She dropped the last snowball to the ground and looked at you.

“We should go back inside.” Wanda suggested.

“I don’t want you to catch a cold.” She continued to say and walked closer to you.

“Okay” you nodded.

“You’re probably right.” You spoke and Wanda came closer to you and took your hand in hers.

Once you were inside, you both sat down on the couch and Wanda went into the kitchen to make you both a cup of hot chocolate. After a few minutes she came back and sat down next to you.

“I love hot coco.” You said and Wanda smiled at you. Wanda rested her head on your shoulder and turned the TV on. After a while you cuddled up on the couch, while watching a Christmas movie. You had such a great day together and can’t wait to do that again.

[littleeyesofpallas]

Forgot this roster was just sitting around incomplete ever since i barely scraped together the remains of that last post, doing a weird little blender mix of Shinigami as Arrancar... I think the problem was that I realized quickly that I'd done both faction swaps based off the shinigami first rather than taking the three in rotation, and the thought of redoing it from scratch just totally threw me off the scent...

Anyway I took what i had in drafts, sorta filled in some gaps where i'd just trailed off without completing my thought, and slapped some images together for good measure... it's like 60% of an AU premise...

YHWACH/YAMAMOTO: The Authority[権限委譲] "delegation of authority"/"transfer of power." Obvious paly on them both as faction leaders. Doesn't really get much from Yamamoto and Ryuujin jakka honestly, which is kind of a shame. In a funny way i guess it could bump into the Espada's gimmick and utilize fire to brand the shrift into his sternritter.

CANDI/HITSUGAYA: The Blizzard[猛吹雪] "furious snowstorm" A bit of a leap to get from Candice's Thunderbolt to more general weather phenomena, but from there it ties into Hitsugaya;s atmospheric control he used fighting Harribel.

ASKINN/UNOHANA: The Consumption[皆尽] "exhaust everything" (i actually just used unohana's bankai kanji exactly as they were originally written) A fun way to keep both their medical and death control theming intact.

BAZZ-B/IKKAKU: The Drive[意欲満々]: "highly motivated" they actually align more as characters outside their powers' themes, but given Bazz-B's Heat is actually written in a way that reads more metaphorically than literally --even if his powers ended up being entirely literal-- it links up with Ryuumon Houzukimaru's gimmick that it starts out lazy and has to get into things to hit full power.

GIGI/HINAMORI: The Edge[生と死の境] "the border between life and death"/"the verge of death" this was a weird one. Tobiume's name actually refers to a kind of fleeting life imagery, fruit falling through the air, and a command that indicates a snapping branch. (I'm sure I must have had an actual power in mind when i first drafted this months ago, but i've since forgotten and i left myself no notes...)

LILLE/SUIFENG: The Firingsquad[銃殺刑] "execution by firing squad" a fun way to keep Lille's no defense penetration and Sui-feng's (almost)insta-kill shtick. Plus it gets to sort of merge the motif of Lille's many birds fallen form and Sui Feng's command of her squad of ninjas to conjure a kind of spirit construct firing squad; a capacity for the most simultaneous spirit bows of any quincy.

MASK/KOMAMURA: The Guardian[狛犬] "lion-dog" a kind of goofy one that I wound up with after a bit of process of elimination, i kind of had the idea from Komamura and initially was going to use Gerard, but opted to use Gerard elsewhere... The more he has to protect the stronger he gets.

GREMMY*/MASHIRO: The Hero[荒事] lit."wild style" but it's the name of a type of character in kabuki theatre, aragoto, that encompasses most action hero roles. So long as she can spin the narrative to fit her superhero self image she can maintain indomitable levels of stamina, recovery, and/or power. (*I realized I somehow totally missed that clearly the more sensible fit here was swapping Gremmy here for Gerard down below... I don't know how I let that one slip by me, either then or now... but i already made the image and i'm too lazy to change it now)

AS NODT/ZARAKI: The Intimidation[脅迫的] "threatening/menacing" The more afraid his opponents are of him, the more monstrous he becomes.

JUUGRAM/BYAKUYA: The Just[掌理] "rule of law/administration of justice" enacts direct consequences to crimes or violations of etiquette. Can let enemies accumulate violations before judging them all at once. obviously I'd considered Juugram and Ukitake but that felt too obvious.

GERARD*/URAHARA : The Know-it-all[知ったかぶり屋] "pretending-to-know seller"/"a charlatan"/"a quack(doctor)" He has a counter measure for everything, no matter how improbable or specific; in fact the more hyper specific the circumstances the more his powers are prone to activate. (*Again clearly the more sensible match here would've been Urahara and Gremmy, literalyl forcing his bullshit to work in spite of reality,. but oh well....)

BAMBI/KYORAKU: The Luxury[栄耀栄華] "wealth, prosperity, and arrogant splendor"/"living well, intoxicated by wealth and power​" Turns objects into bombs, but things imbued with value have innately higher spiritual pressure --sort of like fullbring items-- and can thus be converted into explosives, but as a twist both social and personal value is measured; so at first they'd make use of obvious luxury items, but later be able to switch to things of personal/sentimental value, like their opponent's personal affects. (In an earlier draft I actually wanted to use Meninas for this combo, but changed my mind, Bambi fit the gap well enough)

BG9/MAYURI: The Machine[機構] "a mechanism/system/structure" It's just Mayuri's usualy shtick but instead of fantasy bio-tech it leans more into hard cybrnetics.

DRISCOLL/RUKIA: The Nightfall[夜寒] "chill of night." Her power absorbs light sources as reishi and the more light she absorbs, the darker it gets, the stronger she becomes.

BERENICE/HIRAKO: The Opposition[反対] "opposition/objection" "opposite/reverse" given Question was never used clearly it's hard to use at all, but implicit to the way it's written in Japanese --as the verb "to question" not the noun, "a question"-- it was clearly meant to be about oppositional logic, hence going with Hirako here. instead of directional or even moral/alignment opposites it'd reverse conceptual functionals of actions and powers.

QUILGE/KIRA/HISAGI: The Persecution[被害妄想] "persecution complex" I kinda lumped Kira in there with Hisagi but I liked the idea of a power that's mutual. So in this case going off Jail's trapping/binding powers. I liked the idea of a power that lets the user give up certain functions or abilities in order to bind the same on the opponents, forcing everyone to fight under the same handicaps.

PERNIDA/TOUSEN: The Quiet[聾者] "deaf/mute" Maybe a little too close to what I just described with The Persecution, but the ability to interrupt someone's ability to hear and speak. Could've been a cool counter measure to kidou by nullifying chants.

LILI/RENJI: The Ravenous[餓死] "starve to death" playing more of Renji's backstory than any of his present timeline features, other than just eating things it becomes a matter of desperation and the ability to scrape by when pushed to the edge.

PEPE/LOVE: The Smooth[格好いい] "attractive/handsome/fashionable/cool" seduction powers if they weren't gross and weird. If he can trick his opponent to thinking he's cool they become briefly suggestible to commands. The trick is that for all the cool things he can do or say to try and activate this, he's really just a big dweeb stealing lines from manga.

NANANA/ROSE: The Thorn[頭痛の種] lit."source of headpain" but colloquially how you'd translate the english phrase "a thorn in my side" Give him some kinda power where hits cause ongoing and stacking debilitating damage or debuff. (Almost sounds more like a cross between As Nodt and Kira...)

CANG DU/KENSEI: The Unarmed[格闘家] "martialartist" obvious play on their hand to hand styles. Really just the gimmick I always wished Cang Du had had with a full "defensive" Blut specialization. Kinda echos Nnoitra's being the "strongest" Espada with the hardest Hiero.

MENINAS/IBA: The Virility[任侠] "chivalry(specifically in the yakuza sense)" The manlier she acts the stronger she gets. Yakuza tomboy

ROAR-YORUICHI: The Warcry[閧の声] "battlecry" from the same word for "battlecry" used in Yoruichi's Shunko[瞬閧]

NIANZOL/RISA: The X-Rated[変態]

"abnormal(psychology)/perverted/twisted" literally the word "hentai" uses Nianzol's Wind ability to twist and contort reality to "censor" things deemed taboo to prevent them from being perceived or otherwise interacted with. Basically applying a blur or mosaic filter to reality.

LLOYD/UKITAKE: The Yin & The Yang[陰陽師] lit."yin yang master" it's the word "onmyoji" could colloquially be read as "exorcist." The ability to construct a reishi shadow duplicate of opponents, but also the ability to forcibly remove a sword spirit from its zanpakutou. Basically functioning as the Sternritter medallions himself. Also a spin on mimihagi can function as his "twin".

ROBERT/ISANE: The Z (just to save myself the trouble of coming up with a Z name, merging two no power characters)

[rummigumi]

Excerpt from Vanitas Part 4 draft (Yes I'm writing it out before Part 3, I don't control my brain):

Jason stared at the old god, hands clenched as he fought down the repulsion curling in his stomach.

“You wanted to talk?” The voice echoed around Jason. He swallowed down his fear as he replied, “I…what did you do to me?”

The god's head cocked to the side. “I brought you back to life, as the deal required.”

Jason had read enough ancient myths and stories around deals with gods to know it was never that simple. They'd exploit every loophole, use half truths to trick the mortals involved - anything to remind everyone who was in charge. To put those seen as beneath them in their place. The anger he was growing used to was quickly replacing the fear in his chest.

“So you screwed me over, huh? The deal was to bring me back, but you thought it'd be funny to mess me up first? Make sure I came back wrong?”

“You didn't come back wrong.” The god said it so matter-of-fact it threw Jason off. Of course he came back wrong, why else would he feel the way he did? Why else would he feel so wrong? Like a piece had been ripped out and replaced with something that wasn't him?

“No…no I did. I…I wasn't like…like this before.”

“Like what?”

“So…so…,” angry, “emotional.”

The god was silent for a moment.

“Souls that have died often feel emotions more intensely than those that haven't.”

Stronger emotions didn't explain the burning pit that had made itself at home in Jason's stomach. They didn't explain why all he wanted to do was scream and fight and pound his fists against things until his knuckles bled and his bones creaked. They didn't explain why he'd look at Bruce and feel like he was dying all over again. Stronger emotions didn't explain that.

“But why…why do I feel this way? Why is it that all I can feel is hatred and rage?” He begged the god to explain why he was feeling what he was, because he needed someone to tell him. (He needed the god to tell him what he was feeling was reasonable, that he wasn't going insane.)

And the god just stared at him with its creepy unblinking eyes and dark expressionless face. When it finally spoke, its voice was soft in a way that only occurs when one is explaining death to a child. “You're angry because you are mourning, and in pain. You have lost who you were and the life you had before you died, and it's hurting you.”

That didn't sound right. Jason hadn’t lost anything; his life hadn't changed between pre- and post-death. He'd woken up, and aside from the worried glances and even more awkward hovering from Bruce, it had been easy to forget he had even died. How could he have lost anything when everything was exactly the same as before he died?

(Before he was killed.)

But Jason had changed. While living with Bruce he had grown soft, forgot what the world was really like, forgot that just because he wore a cape and believed in justice and doing the right thing and helping others it didn’t mean shit when push came to shove. He had forgotten what he had learned long ago while watching his mother spiral deeper and deeper into her addiction and he had to do anything to survive. Awful things happened, and the world kept on turning and the universe kept expanding and it didn't matter how good you were or if you did everything right, unless you won the karmic lottery you were screwed.

But dying had removed the naive beliefs that he had allowed to fill his head, had removed the rose-colored glasses Bruce had put over his eyes. Dying had changed him, but he hadn't lost who he was. If anything, it made him more of who he was before Bruce.

(Before stability and peace and enjoying being alive and allowing himself to be a kid-)

“No,” Jason's voice was choked and harsh, “you're wrong.”

And the god didn't smite him for daring to imply he knew better than it. It didn't even scold him. It simply asked, “Then what is causing your pain?”

[sleepanonymous]

Info on this 8-bit NSP cover below the cut.

I'll be honest I utterly forgot it was Friday and I didn't have a Lost Media post in my drafts. I threw this together at 12:30 in the morning and I'm too lazy to convert the video into an MP3. I'm also too lazy to re-edit the screenshot to crop out the half link (it doesn't work anyway/is incomplete). Sooo... here's this 😅 Also look at those views omg 👀

[femnoah]

TD danganronpa au

The ultimate talents part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

I can't believe I forgot to post this!! It was just sitting there in my drafts... oops

So uh, maybe mild spoilers for the Danganronpa games/series as I will be discussing some characters and comparisons and maybe plot points?

This is the list of the ultimate talents I decided on for each contestant, why I did so and some background information. As always, I'm always up for a discussion.

Once again, bear with me on the vague outfit descriptions!

Lindsay Mitchells- the Ultimate Fashionista

There was no question for this. Personally, I love the headcannon that she threw the tiebreaker just so she could go shopping.

It started out when she was featured on a special for her school's newspaper. Not long after, she had a looooooot of new friends asking for advice! Soon, even Mrs Spooner from down the street was begging for help for her 79th birthday party outfit! Then, Lindsay upgraded from the school's newspaper to her city's newspaper!

She applied to total drama because she felt like it. That's it. She doesn't really need a reason now does she?

Her bubbly personality really helps keep everyone's spirits high when everything starts hitting the fan.

Outfit- as mentioned in the previous one, she's wearing matching with Tyler. Even her hair accessory matched Tyler's sweatband. Truly couple goals!

Bridgette Ferguson- The Ultimate Surfer

It was a toss up on the ultimate surfer and the ultimate animal handler. But I just decided to keep with her surfer thing as a primary and her animal loving nature as a result of it.

Graceful on the water, Bridgette really is the ultimate surfer. She's competed globally with her team who she grew up with. She's been in love with the water ever since she first learned how to swim and it didn't take long for her to take her passion on the board, gliding and riding on the waves.

She applied to total drama to spread her message of love and well, they needed a calmer person to really highlight the craziness of the show. Of course, her message of love took a turn thanks to Alejandro. She won't forgive him for making her cheat and leaving her on a pole.

Outfit- she gets those convertible trousers/shorts and her hair is kept in a low bun.

Harold Norbert Cheever Doris McGrady V- The Ultimate Otaku

Obviously he has his whole obsession with knights and ninjas but I thought it'd be pretty in character for Chris to narrow down on one small aspect just to get back at him because of all the times he annoyed him. So technically speaking, he'd be the ultimate historical reenactor but Chris convinced the network to change it. I also debated having him be the ultimate conspiracy theorist but I think it kind of ties in a bit with the talent.

He's picked up a lot of skills from his previous camps, all of which help him with his reenactments with his historical reenactment group. A close knit group of fellow history appreciators with a special bond- they are each others family. They even toured parts of Canada together! It's because of this group that Harold has never had to be anything other than himself. With his love of performance, was it really that surprising that he agreed to join the drama brothers?

He joined total drama to prove his skills and well, the money would really help with his costume collection.

Outfit- pretty similar to his competition appearance just with a different graphic tee.

Ezekiel Cooper-Walsh- The Ultimate Farmhand

He was the final person I considered as the ultimate lucky student. I even debated having him as the protagonist but, narratively speaking, Alejandro fit better. I also considered having him as the ultimate mechanic- from fixing stuff up on his farm. But that would only give him a minor role in one or maybe two trials and I wanted him to have more importance due to how canon TD treats his character. Having him as the ultimate farmhand meant I could still use him with my original intentions as well as giving him a key role in a trial or two. Then I also considered having him as the ultimate linguist but I just went back to the farmhand thing.

So Ezekiel has spent his entire life on the farm with the only pastimes being either studying or working at the farm. He was originally forced to help out to make sure he spent time outside but eventually fell in love with the work. Caring for the animals, fixing up the machines, helping with the crops- it became a solace from his loneliness.

Then, he was given the opportunity to apply for total drama. It was an opportunity to interact with his fellow peers and apply the skills he learned from the farm!

Outfit- underneath his hoodie are overalls and a maroon top. As the game progresses, he loses his hoodie and hat as he makes more friends!

So, what do yous want to know next? More on the motives? Who the victims are? Who the blackened are? Who the mastermind/traitor is? Or would you prefer to find out chronologically?

Master list

[12thhouse-sun]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

@lanafofana threw glitter on me and then ran away therefore I am required to follow through with these shenanigans (love youuuu)

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

Eight!!! Hopefully more soon!

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

67, 826

3) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

you're at the top of my lungs Gale x f!tav events of bg3 longfic!

fine art Gale x f!Tav emotional post-game smut plus some gale teasing

three's a party TWO, count em, TWO simulacrum threesomes

Axioms of heavenly bodies; an intimate analysis of systems unknown and the pleasures contained therein cute Gale x f!tav modern au smutty oneshot

a bene placito Gale x f!Tav married morning sex, cockwarming, etc

4) What fandoms do you write for?

Baldur's Gate 3 for now. Maybe I'll eventually get inspired enough to write some Dragon Age (Veilguard specifically, or maybe even Inqusition if I keep playing???)

5) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I always try to! As a writer seeing a comment brings me THE MOST joy and so i want to thank each and every one of you for being there. And also as a reader, I love when the author responds esp if it leads to whole-ass convos. I've actually made friends this way!

6) What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uhhhhh the published WIPs I have right now I plan on having happy endings. And a few of the unpublished ones as well. There are a few early-draft WIPs that I'm considering a more angsty end direction, but there's so much angst fodder in Gale and Poppy's stories already, that I like the angst being throughout and then putting them back together.

But never say never!

7) What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I guess Axioms? Because of the love confession, multiple orgasms, etc etc. Again, my published multi-fic chapters have yet to get to the ending so ask me again once both are finished lmao

8) Do you get hate on fics?

Nope! And if I get any I will cry

9) Do you write smut?

hehehehehehehehehe

10) Do you write crossovers?

I haven't yet, and don't have any in mind at the moment, even as just a loose idea. The closest idea that I have is a modern au bg3 fic where a local theater is putting on Heathers. Gale plays JD. I will not elaborate further lmao. OH I ALMOST FORGOT and a My Big Fat Greek Wedding idea but Gale is Toula lmao.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so? I hope not :sob:

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I'm aware of but if anyone's interested PLEASE LET ME KNOW I'D LOVE TO CHAT

13) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Not yet! But the girlies and I chat enough about our blorbos where maybe something will happen @dr-demi-bee Miri and Poppy crossover fic? Maybe?

14) What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Oh god. The Doctor and Rose, probably.

15) What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Lmao all of them, ideally! I'd love to finish YATTOML because it's THE bg3 story and I know where I want it to go, I just need to sit down and write it. I also have a modern college au that I have big feelings about and would love to start publishing (ONCE IT"S DONE).

16) What are your writing strengths?

I've been told I nail Gale's voice and that I write very good smut. Other than that, I'm not sure? Maybe I should start asking for more explicit feedback lmao.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

I can't focus on one fic at a time for long enough to contribute anything productive. Hence why I feel like I haven't published anything substantial in ages.

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I think it's great, though I'd be too nervous to actually give it a go beyond a phrase here or there. I don't want the native speakers to be taken out of it. I love reading it as a reader, though.

19) First fandom you wrote for?

Baldur's Gate 3!!!!

20) Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Oh geez. Probably Axioms. I shared ONE snippet of an idea in the server and everyone was like MOAR PLEAAAASE and so I turned one snippet into a whole 6.8k word thing. It was the first time I really captured Gale's voice and there's something about it that's really comforting. Also Tara and Hey There Delilah lmao.

Lana glitter-tagged the whole server so I will add (no pressure obvs) @pouroverpaloma @tociminna @thecurlyginger

[messenger-of-stupidity]

However, Your Mother

Welcome back to another Shaw Mates Group Chat Post that totally hasn't been sitting completed in my drafts for over a month because I forgot to post it nope not at all that would be utterly ridiculous ahahaha

This is pretty short though because my brain has been filled with angst for the past several months and crack isn't really doing much for me atm.

CW: Angel is back on their crack shit but keeps getting rejected, Baabe is living for the gossip, Sweetheart is a bit more active, Sam just wants some normality but he should know better by now fr fr

Actual CW: Crack, Cursing, Shenanigans, GN Listeners, Any gendered terms are purely for the memes and should not be taken seriously in any kind of way.

<- Previous ---- Masterlist ---- Next ->

Sweetheart: My supervisor is literally dog turds

Angel: i dont know whether to be happy i wasnt first or upset that u didnt say cat litterbox droppings

Baabe: what happened invisi?

Sweetheart: Were circling back to that nickname later. Whats wrong is that theyre making me stay late

Angel: but but 2nites mate nioght

Sweetheart: I know it is thats why Im upset

Baabe: theres only one thing left to do. we cause a error in the computer system and hold their information hostage so that way invisi can sneak out. get it? sneak? cause theyre a stealth? im so funny.

Sam: I knew it was too much to hope that for once this was a normal and legal conversation, and yet I did so regardless. Good lord.

Angel: vamp daddy

Angel: welcome to another episode of davey is gonna kill me

Baabe: whatd you do?

Angel: hol up a sec i need to wait for invisi and vamp daddy to be here

Baabe: if this was discord we could @ them.

Angel: omg it would be so fun to have a mates disc call

Baabe: IT WOULD

Sam: This is the highest level of my tolerance. I don't think I could handle a group call with all of you. Especially without David to monitor.

Angel: davey do be a sexy supervisor vroom vroom

Sam: I'm never going to be able to look at David the same now. Thank you for that.

Angel: yw now where is my invisible hoe

Baabe: imma call them.

Angel: that just leaves vamp daddy and me (っ˘ڡ˘ς)

Sam: Oh dear lord.

Angel: nope just me

Sweetheart: Whatd I miss

Baabe: angel fucked up again.

Sweetheart: Oh good

Angel: cool now that everyones here

Angel: how does one get dough off high ceilings and back into the kitchen

Sam: Do I even want to know how you managed that?

Baabe: by asking you have become complicit. congrats!

Sam: Shit.

Sweetheart: Before I tell you I wanna know how tf you managed to do that

Angel: so i was making pizza rite

Baabe: its gonna be a multi text situation. neat.

Angel: and the impulsive urge to yeet that motherfucker at the ceiling with the force of a thousands suns came upon this bitch

Sam: And that should be a lesson in control, kiddos.

Angel: but i couldnt do it in the kitchen because i wasnt in the kitchen

Sweetheart: Then where tf were you

Angel: in davey and me bedroom

Baabe: omg this keeps getting better. i cant wait to tell Ash.

Angel: we have hella high ceilings so i got on the bed and threw the dough at the ceiling

Angel: now its stuck and davey is gonna come home any minute

Sweetheart: I lied I have no idea how to get pizza dough off high ceilings I just wanted to hear the story hehehehe

Angel: ((유∀유|||))

Baabe: all mates are wonderful. all werewolves are awesome (except chrissy all my homies hate chrissy) but Ash is by far the best. <3

Angel: omg i literally luv my house husband

Sweetheart: Disagree what evidence do you have

Baabe: three words invisi.

Angel: i love you

Baabe: no

Angel: rejected by my waifu im never gonna financially recover alexa play the wheels on the bus

Baabe: breakfast. in. bed.

Sweetheart: Three words for you

Angel: i love you

Sweetheart: No

Angel: rejected twice in one day by my waifus alexa play arabian nights

Sweetheart: Crumbs. In. Bed.

Sam: Why was this what I had to come in to?

Angel: sam wont reject me will u vamp daddy

Sam: Without hesitation I absolutely will.

Angel: im literally gonna kms ༼ ༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ༽

[notsocheezy]

Brain Curd #156 - Twenty-Minute Tuesday #16

Brain Curds are lightly edited flash fiction - practically first drafts - posted daily (haven't missed one yet!) and sometimes written with the express intention of being terrible… but, you know, in an endearing way. Please like and reblog if you enjoy - the notes keep me going!

A knock came to the door, and Harold opened it.

“Hello, and good afternoon! I’m here for the census. May I ask you some questions?”

Harold leaned on the wall. “Sure.”

“Okay, good. Thank you for your cooperation.” The census-taker clicked her pen. “First, how many people live in this apartment?”

“Just me.”

“So…” She waved her hand in a circular motion.

“One. One person.”

“Thank you.” She scribbled for a moment. “Next question: How many people live in this apartment?”

“Huh? You just asked me that.”

“Oh.” She looked back at the paper on her clipboard, flipped between pages, scribbled a bit, and nodded. “Sorry about that. Could you please answer anyway?”

“Why?”

“Please, sir, I’m supposed to be asking the questions.”

“Oh… okay then… uh, one. Just one.”

“Thank you very much.” Curiously, she wrote nothing. “Next question: What is your annual income? Under twenty-thousand, between twenty-thousand and forty-thousand, between forty-thousand and eighty-thousand, between eighty-thousand and one-hundred-and-twenty thousand, or greater than one-hundred-and-twenty thousand?”

“Between forty and eighty.”

“Okay, so under twenty-thousand…” She checked a box.

“No, no, the thousands were implied. I make between forty-thousand and eighty-thousand.”

She furrowed her brow. “Sir, this census is not to be taken lightly. It is very important that we know the average income of your region.” She crumpled up the paper and threw it on the floor inside Harold’s apartment, farther inside than the recycle bin was. “We’ll have to start over. How many people live in this apartment?”

“One! One person! One people!”

“Those do not mean the same thing. Are you suggesting an entire culture resides in this apartment?”

“No! Only I live here!”

“Meaning…”

“One.”

“One what?”

“One person lives here.”

“And I am speaking to that person now, correct?”

Harold rubbed his forehead. “Yes.”

“Thank you. This will go much faster if you are clear and concise with your answers.”

“Noted.”

“Next question: What is your annual income? Under twenty-thousand, between twenty-thousand and forty-thousand, between - ”

“I make between forty-thousand and eighty-thousand dollars. Annually.”

She held her pen in the air. “And you’re sure about that?”

“Yes. I am sure about that.”

She checked a box. “Okay, thank you. Wait…”

“What?”

“I forgot the last part of the question.”

“What’s that?”

“It says after taxes.”

“After taxes?”

“Does that change your answer?”

“If I say yes, will you make us start over again?”

“We need to be precise, sir.”

Harold tapped on the doorframe, brushed back his hair and sighed. “In that case, it does not change my answer.”

She smiled. “Good! Only seventeen more questions to go. Next one: How many persons live at this residence?”