#I wish I was neurotypical

[st-dorothy-minority]

Here's an authentically autistic confession:

I hate being autistic.

I hate being unable to make and retain friends

I hate getting hyperfixated on things/people

I hate being unable to accept gray in a world of black and white, all or nothing

I hate being unable to quiet my mind

I hate being unable to understand social cues and navigating social settings or be in groups (online and offline)

I hate being too much

I hate that I feel things so intensely

[venusmage]

guys im almost 28 and got diagnosed with ADHD :'). i thought i was just a lazy idiot moron dumbass dipshit alien robot but apparently it was The Disorder

[sherbetyy]

do you ever realize after masking intentionally and unintentionally so much in your life, you completely forget who you are.. and how it feels like every time you mimic someone you lose a part of yourself and personality. and fear you’ll never figure out who you are or who you were once.

yeah.

anyway pictures of moth !!!

[bpdohwhatajoy]

If you’re any age like 13-21 just know those are absolutely NOT the best years and in fact they suck fucking horribly don’t fall for the best years of your life narrative

[opudont-donut]

🦖meow

[godsfavoritescientist]

Biting the bars of my enclosure about autistic ford tonight. There's something about him using vocabulary and turns of phrase that seem "outdated" or "pretentious" that feels so painfully genuine to me. When people say he talks like that just to "try to sound smart" I wish I could explain what it's like to be so ostracized from your peers growing up that you spend all your time reading instead, to the point where you pick up your way of speaking from books instead of from people. And then what it's like for people to call you out for "talking weird" over and over again, not able to wrap their heads around why the fuck you would choose more archaic or technical or formal words than the simpler ones that surely come to everyone's minds first. What it's like to have to dedicate a sizable chunk of attention to filtering through every single word you say out loud in real time before you say it, to make absolutely sure that it isn't a word people will judge you for using or make fun of you for using, just so you'll have a chance of being taken seriously. Learning through trial and error how to filter out the words that other people don't think are normal or casual enough for the conversation, even though for you, the word choice that's "natural-sounding" enough for them is the third or fourth word you came up with when searching for the right way to phrase something in your head. I wish I could explain just how long it takes to say fucking anything after spending a lifetime doing that during every single conversation, and how repetitive and long-winded you end up being when you spend so long coming up with alternative ways of saying every little thing you ever think. And I wish people realized that, at the very least for autistic people and autistic-coded characters, speech that's seen as pretentious is really just the way they talk when they're not putting in the extra effort to filter through every word they say just so others will take the time to listen.

[philosopunk]

Second Brain, twice the insanity.

How are you going to have a second brain when your first one is not at peace?

I ask the internet gurus and I am met with the skeptical rage of thousands yet no challenge to what I am questioning. Such is life. But I truly wonder if this concept of building a second brain, hyper-productivity and excessive journaling of your everyday thoughts will truly help people in the long run.

A mixture of having to store all the information you know, having to write down all your thoughts for the possibility of it being connected to one note you made five years ago, having to wonder what is the connection between you liking cherrypie to your childhood trauma of getting bullied.

Alas, excessively searching for the soul so mechanically that they cannot find it. Taking the words of philosophers to the unhealthiest extremes by people whose life is not dictated by thought -- taking the words of fake prophets on the web that assure that their productivity hours will triple with a second brain. At the end, it is all about making your life a productivity sprint, efficiently thinking all the time. I truly feel for the folks who cannot let a thought go at this point, for the distant promise of enlightenment and for the distant possibility of this one thought that nearly slipped past you being a million dollars worth in pure gold.

What is this obsession with never letting go? I truly wonder and I truly will not know it.

A mind not healed creating another mind. I truly fear for them.

[love-laugh-daydreamarevolt]

Can boundaries among family members be more common. Like in glad we're talking about setting up boundaries with friends and in relationships but like we need to stop with the "I am entitled to touch you/ get into your space just because I birthed you/ raised you" thing. If I say I don't want a hug, you respect that. tou do not force me into one. If I say I'm not mentally available for a conversation, we decide on a later time to have it, you do not talk over me. If you said something to hurt me and I asked you to either talk to me later if you can't channel your emotions right or ask you to take a different tone, you respect my emotions and reflect. tou do not yell at me and tell me you can do It because you are my parent. If I say I don't want to hug a relative you don't push me to do so. If I don't want to talk to someone, you don't force me to interact with them.

[oldtvandcomics]

I just wish death wasn't such an absolute taboo in our society.

My grandmother died unexpectedly. But, really? Did she really??

Once upon a time, a passer-by helped Death up when he'd fallen down alongside the road. To thank him, Death promised not to come unannounced, but to send a messenger ahead of him. Death sent illness, and fewer, and old age and grey hairs and aching joints. The man didn't recognize any of these as the promised messenger, and was genuinely shocked when Death showed up at his doorstep.

My grandmother died unexpectedly. She was old, and getting noticeably weaker for years now. The last two weeks, she could barely move her arms for pain in her shoulders. Eventually, she had to call a relative for help, who called a doctor, who called an ambulance to take her to the emergency. The next day, she died of heart failure. Unexpectedly.

She was, by a complete coincidence that we definitely won't need to worry about, almost exactly the same age as her father, when he died of sudden heart failure. Funny thing, these coincidences.

My grandfather also died unexpectedly. He had Parkinson's, and wasn't able to move much those last years. Just before his death, my mother took him to the hospital for a check-up, and left him there, then came back here where we live. According to my sister, she cried when she left my grandparents' city. At that time, we visited three times a year, so she knew perfectly well that she would be back in three months' time. Why would she cry? But no, my grandfather died unexpectedly.

The next one to go will be my aunt. It is pretty clear, has been pretty clear since she was diagnosed with cancer last year. We could, theoretically, like, prepare for it. But no, because you can't talk about death, so we can't even mention it unless I'm alone with my father.

"Thank you for helping me," said Death. "As a thanks, I will not come unannounced, but will send a messenger."

"That is a fine thing," said the man. "That way, I won't have to worry about you hiding behind every tree."

And if I say any of this out loud, then I'm an unforgivable asshole.

[motherhenna]

wanted to share an almost full-body pic for the first time in probably almost a decade because for once I'm actually proud of how I'm progressing and think that the changes I'm making will end up being permanent bc I'm genuinely enjoying them. Plus, the few selfies I have shared over the last five years have been very photoshopped and at flattering angles, so I feel like most of y'all don't know what I actually look like. So this is me in my children's theater teacher fit last monday!

I'm 17 lbs down from my highest ever weight, but my trainer thinks I'm probably up at least ten to fifteen lbs in muscle. I'm cooking my own food, eating more reasonable portions, and going to the gym at least five times a week because I want to, not because I feel shame or guilt. And now that I'm working as hard as I am, I'm a lot less triggered by looking at new pictures of myself because I know I'm doing my best. I'm still obese, and probably will be for awhile more, but I'm starting to appreciate what I look like and feel like. And hopefully it'll just get better from here!

[honeypleasejustkillme]

how the fuck do people live like this?? i seriously have a job i hate, bills to pay, extreme anxiety and suicidal thoughts constantly.. i just wish i could “live normally” it’s like i need a full time job but the part time one i have now is killing me slowly.. life fucking sucks.

[befuddled-calico-whump]

my mom: "I've never felt like an adult. I feel like I'm permanently twelve years old."

my mom: *needs to be sewing, sketching, or doing something with her hands to pay attention to a podcast or TV show*

my mom: *easily distracted, will quickly obsess over a new idea or project type*

my mom: "if you would've gone to public school your whole life, you probably would've been diagnosed with ADHD or something"

my mom: *has dozens of stories of both myself and her being the exact opposite of a Pleasure to Have in Class, blissfully ignoring instructions, doing our own thing, and being very impulsive*

also my mom: "everyone in this family is Normal™ :)"

[ram-to-the-ham]

Ok this hasn’t left my mind for a while and I’ve been needing to type this out but what if Soap was like semi-touch averse.

Like he likes initiating touch with other people but doesn’t like when people initiate touch with him first. Or when he can’t see when people are about to touch him.

He’s known as like the physically affectionate one so he hides this little tidbit pretty well. But those specifically in the 141 are very aware of it. And technically Gaz was the first to notice.

He notices it a bit after Soap joins. Every time someone’s makes physical contact with Soap it’s by the man’s own volitions. He pats them on the back first, or lays a hand in their shoulder first. And his aversion to touch becomes more apparent when someone else tries to initiate touch on the young sergeant.

It’s very easy to miss. But every time someone comes up to Soap and pats the man’s back or puts their hand in his shoulder. He tenses up, very briefly, before forcing himself to relax. It took Gaz a couple times of seeing it happen before he recognized what was going on.

So he took note of it, and he started to work around it. When he noticed someone coming up on Soap and seemingly getting ready to initiate contact, he intercepts them. Very subtly of course, he’s not going to embarrass the poor man. He can’t do it all the time and sometimes he misses it, but he tries and hopes it helps. He also makes sure to choreograph any contact he wants to make with the man. Giving him a chance to step away if needed, but as time goes on and they get closer. Gaz notices Soap more often than not leaning into his openings for affections. And a small part of Gaz preens every time the younger Sergeant leans into his touches.

As Soap also gets closer with the other 141 members they also take notice. Price always kind of had an inkling, but could never really piece it together until Soap joined. And Ghost notices the near imperceptible way the man tenses. Takes one to know one in a sense. And like Gaz they work with Soaps aversion to make the man feel more comfortable.

And it takes Soap a while to notice what they’re doing. But when he does his heart is filled with so many emotions it feels like his chest hurts. All he knows is that he loves these people so much, and they are always going to be his family.

[warcrimesimulator]

Controversial take, but no individual is an oppressor simply for existing. Certain groups of people have the privilege and power to oppress, and will have a lot of learning and unlearning to do, but to actually be an oppressor requires action on your part.

[itwoodbeprefect]

every single day of every single week i think about that moment in i coulda been a defendant when ray complains about having to see francesca every day and having to pretend she's his sister (which he finds difficult because she's hot, is the very clear implication) and fraser just so completely fucking earnestly goes "this makes no sense, ray. all women are our sisters" like he's pleasantly trying to explain to ray how the printer works.

[jacuzziwaters]

"Did you know that when you smell something unpleasant like poop there are little poop molecules that fly into your nose?"

Well duh did you not see that episode of Magic School Bus where they traveled into that lady's nose to erase the skunk smell molecules that Arnold's annoying skank of a cousin had injected into whatever it was (I think it was flowers) so that Mrs. Frizzle's class would lose the competition? Or was that just me?