#I would love to meet a system and get to know the alters

[dilutedapplejuice]

I think if I ever met a system/anyone with DID, OSDD, etc I would never actually be able to tell… I have really bad memory for details about people so I wouldn’t really notice many if any discrepancies. I also can’t recognize personalities as anything concrete (unless it’s super obvious), two totally different alters could be out on the same day and I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. Worst I’d interpret would be a mood swing.

Especially since most systems’ alters mask as the host- some r better than others but usually the ones worse at masking aren’t out very often (to my knowledge)

[iinryer]

so. i have been saying since the top of the season that this feels like a reset, and a reintroduction to the characters (which makes sense for a new network!)—i know others have talked about to being a transitional and setup season as well, which i agree with.

ive been thinking about parallels and mirrors and what it might mean to overlay season seven over season four, the things that could possibly imply…

[ID under the cut for easier legibility than alt]

(self indulgent honorable mention parallel: eddie’s blood in buck’s mouth, tommy’s soot on buck’s lips)

season four is the only other non-pilot season to have less than the full 18 episodes. season four is also the only season that ends on a life-altering arc-beginning injury for a member of the 118 (which also makes sense for a shorter than usual season, big hook to make up for the fewer episodes).

at the end of season four, eddie and bobby both end up dramatically injured (sniper). the end of season four also has the first mention of the will. now, i cannot say for sure that either of these are going to be mirrored, BUT. looking at the roadmap they’ve already given us… i have some feelings and predictions :)

and i’m not even going to begin digging into the vertigo references, others have more eloquent things to say, but i wanted to at least mention it because i DO think it’s going to come into play…

(if you can think of any other 4/7 parallels i would LOVE to hear them)

———

IMAGE ID: a three column spreadsheet with the categories “PLOT POINT” , “SEASON 4”, and “SEASON 7”. the text reads:

Buck learns something life-altering that makes things about the rest of his life make sense in hindsight

- S4: Daniel reveal

- S7: Bisexuality discovery

Eddie meets a woman and ends episode 7 of the season on a date with her

- S4: Ana

- S7: Kim

Maddie and Chimney have a major milestone in their relationship

- S4: Jee is born

- S7: They’re getting married

Something horrible happens right before they do

- S4: Albert’s accident

- S7: Chimney gets sick and goes missing

Buck makes a fool of himself on a first date

- S4: Veronica, and the “double date”

- S7: Tommy

Hen and Karen have struggles with the foster system and how to best protect and provide for their foster kids

- S4: Nia

- S7: Mara

Athena and Bobby have trouble communicating, putting their relationship in a rocky spot

- S4: Bobby sponsoring the woman from the pileup and hiding it, Athena telling Bobby that she had considered retirement but never talked to him

- S7: The cruise ship and Athena being unable to tell Bobbby why she's so uncomfortable with the prospect of down time together

Someone talks to Eddie about following his own desires in a relationship, not what's expected

- S4: Bobby about Ana, Carla about Ana

- S7: Bobby about Marisol

Buck has a heart to heart with Christopher about the anxiety he has towards the fragility of relationships with the people in his life

- S4: Shannon and people leaving him, feeling isolated during the pandemic

- S7: Shannon and the girls he's leading on

Hen and Karen meet another parent related to their foster children

- S4: Meeting Nia's mom in the park and having lunch with her and Nia

- S7: Finding Tyson and reconnecting him with Mara

Someone with the initials TK that Buck met in relation to a helicopter, kisses Buck in his kitchen after Eddie gets hurt and then has to leave

- S4: Taylor

- S7: Tommy

[yurimother]

The 2023 Yuri Guide - Anime

Your ultimate guide to the best Yuri content with over 200 curated titles from every genre and medium.

Adachi and Shimamura

• School • Slice of Life • Romance • Friends to Lovers • Slow burn

Adachi and Shimamura's days of skipping school offer a new world to explore. But as these delinquents bond, unexpected emotions begin to blossom. Now if they could just admit how they feel…

Streaming on Crunchyroll (Sub/Dub)

BIRDIE WING -Golf Girls' Story-

• Sports • Comedy • Drama

Eve is an underground golfer who supports poor street orphans with the money she makes from illegal golfing matches. But her life is about to change forever when she meets a young golfer who's just arrived from Japan...

Streaming on Crunchyroll (Sub)

The Executioner and Her Way of Life

• Action • Fantasy • Isekai • Enemies to Lovers

When Menou, an Executioner of deadly interdimensional “Lost Ones,” encounters a Lost One named Akari who can cheat death, she sets out on a mission to kill the unkillable girl — but her newly stirring feelings might get in the way of her blade.

Streaming on HIDIVE (Sub/Dub)

Flip Flappers

• Fantasy • Action • Magical Girl • Love at First Sight

Cocona’s world is turned upside down with the appearance of Papika. They set off on an adventure in “Pure Illusion.” In the pursuit of the “Shards of Mimi,” obstacles arise, and the shards enable them to transform.

Streaming on HIDIVE (Sub/Dub)

If My Favorite Pop Idol Made it to the Budokan, I Would Die

• Comedy • Music • Multiple Couples • Love at First Sight

Two years ago, super-fan Eripiyo was hypnotized by Maina Ichii and her pop group ChamJam. Now Eri dreams of seeing her favorite group make it big, to the Budokan arena! Her passionate desire consumes money and time—but no cost is too high. This is fandom!

Streaming on Crunchyroll (Sub/Dub)

Inugami-san to Nekoyama-san

• School • Slice of Life • Comedy • Multiple Couples

A mutual friend introduces Yachiyo Inugami, a dog-like girl who loves cats, and Suzu Nekoyama, a cat-like girl who loves dogs. The girls find themselves drawn in by their opposite traits and the most outlandish relationship starts to take form in this wild comedy that will have you barking (and meowing?) with laughter.

Streaming on Crunchyroll (Sub)

The Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady

• Fantasy • Romance • Comedy • Isekai 

When noblewoman Euphyllia is unjustly stripped of her title as the kingdom’s next monarch, the buffoonish Princess Anisphia takes it upon herself to right this wrong. Despite being taken for a fool ’cause of her silly antics, Anisphia is a magic genius, and she has a plan to help Euphyllia regain her good name. But little do they know—their encounter will alter the kingdom and the entire world! Streaming on Crunchyroll (Sub)

Maria Watches Over Us

• School • Slice of Life • Senpai/Kouhai • Multiple Couples

Students at Lillian Girls’ Academy become “soeurs” to support each other during their time at school. Shy Yumi Fukuzawa never thought she’d attract a soeur like the beautiful Sachiko Ogasawara, but Sachiko has unexpectedly set her sights on Yumi!

Streaming on HIDIVE (sub)

Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury

• Sci-Fi • Mecha • Action • School • Drama • Marriage

A.S. (Ad Stella) 122― An era when a multitude of corporations have entered space and built a huge economic system. A lone girl from the remote planet Mercury transfers to the Asticassia School of Technology, run by the Beneritt Group which dominates the mobile suit industry. Her name is Suletta Mercury. With a scarlet light burning in her pure heart, this girl walks step by step through a new world.

Streaming on Crunchyroll (sub/dub)

Otherside Picnic

• Action • Sci-FI • Horror • Slow Burn

Moments from death, Sorawo is saved by the mysterious Toriko in the world of the Otherside. Entranced by its beauty, she discovers that this dimension is inhabited by monsters once thought imaginary. Joining with Toriko in her search for a missing friend, they set out to explore this nightmare realm and maybe make a little money. What they encounter could bring enlightenment—or drive them mad!

Streaming on Crunchyroll (Sub/Dub)

Puella Magi Madoka Magica

• Fantasy • Magical Girl • Horror • Tragedy • Fated Lovers • Multiple Couples

Madoka Kaname is an average 14-year-old girl who loves her family and friends. One fateful day, this all changes when she has a very magical encounter with a strange creature called a Kyubey. Kyubey have the power to grant one wish to chosen girls. However, in exchange, those chosen must become magical girls and use their powers to fight against witches, evil creatures born from darkness and catalysts of despair. Was this encounter by chance or fate? No matter the circumstance, this will surely change her destiny.

Movies Beginnings and Eternal retell this legendary and dark fantasy story with new and retouched animation and voice acting. The sequel film Rebellion follows Homura, unable to let her memories die, the magical girl continues to fight alone in the world that Madoka left behind, dreaming of meeting that nostalgic smiling face one more time...

TV - Streaming on Crunchyroll/Hulu (Sub) Films licensed by Aniplex of America

Revue Starlight

• School • Action • Drama • Weak Yuri

Childhood friends Karen and Hikari promised that they would one day become the next theatrical stars. Years later, the two finally have their chance during a mysterious audition, but they are not the only ones who have trained for this moment.

Streaming on HIDIVE (Sub/Dub)

Riddle Story of Devil (Akuma no Riddle)

• School • Action • Enemies to Lovers • Multiple Couples • Love at First Sight

Twelve female assassins are sent to a prestigious boarding school to compete against each other in a secret killing game. The winner will be granted anything her heart desires, but only one girl can come out on top. The mission is simple: send fellow student Haru Ichinose to an early grave. The task should be easy for heartless assassin, Toukaku Azuma – but everything changes when she finds herself strangely drawn to her naive target. Her decision to use her lethal skills to keep her new friend alive will raise the stakes of the game and push the girls closer together as the other beauties threaten to tear them apart.

Streaming on Funimation (Sub/dub)

Sakura Trick

• School • Slice of Life • Comedy • Friends to Lovers • Multiple Couples

Best friends Haruka and Yu are about to take their relationship from friendship to something more when they share a kiss! But when one kiss becomes two and three, how will their relationship change?

Streaming on HIDIVE (Sub)

Strawberry Panic

• School • Drama • Romance • Senpai/Kouhai • Multiple Couples • Love at First Sight

Nagisa has just transferred to a prestigious all-girls school that happens to share a campus with two other elite academies for young women. The new surroundings are overwhelming but Nagisa quickly adapts to life in Strawberry Hall with the help of her new friends. However, when Nagisa catches the eye of the mysterious Shizuma, the respected representative of all three schools, both their lives are forever changed. A bond beyond mere friendship develops between the two ladies amidst a chaotic school year full of heated conflicts, petty jealousies, and crossed boundaries.

Streaming on Crunchyroll/RetroCrush (Sub)

Sweet Blue Flowers

• School • Romance • Drama • Friends to Lovers

Fumi Manjoume enters Kamakura's accelerated high school - Matsuoka All-Girls High School. While waiting at the Kamakura station on the day of her entrance ceremony, she runs into an old childhood friend whom she had not seen in 10 years: Akira Okudaira. As their friendship is rekindled and they start falling back into the rhythm of friends again, it starts a delicate love story...

Streaming on Crunchyroll (Sub)

Volicia of Pluto

• Action • Indie • Sci-Fi • Mecha

In 2006, Akiko Hoshigami’s dreams of track-and-field stardom are dashed after a leg injury. She enters high school with her best friend, Ayano Umisoe, and between club activites and meeting new friends, the empty Akio begins to resember her former self. Until one day, Ayano suddenly dissapears.

Streaming on YouTube (Sub)

Yurikuma Arashi

• School • Drama • Sci-Fi • Enemies to Lovers • Multiple Couples

In a world divided between humans and hyper-intelligent, man-eating bears, Kureha attends an all-girls school and holds onto a simple wish—to spend the rest of her life with her classmate and soul mate, Sumika. But after a secret rendezvous ends in tragedy, Kureha vows to never back down on her love and put a bullet in any bear she meets.

Streaming on Funimation (Sub/Dub)

YuruYuri

• School • Slice of Life • Comedy • Multiple Couples

Four students decide to occupy the room of the defunct tea ceremony club, dubbing it the ‘Amusement Club.’ While the Student Council does its best to eliminate this club, their endless energy, happiness, and comedy will keep audiences smiling all season long!

Streaming on Crunchyroll (Sub)

Read More of the 2023 Yuri Guide

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[oddballwriter]

hello! Could i please request a one shot where Steven and Marc know about Jake's existence and they have been trying to get used to him and get to know him, and during a mission where they need help they found out Jake has been having like a long term relationship with the reader (who is Sekhmet's avatar)

And Steven its totally freaking out but also crushing on her but Marc its like "wtf how long has this been going on?"

Unexpected Addition

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Part Two

Summary: Life with a new addition is a bit tricky, but Steven and Marc are getting the hang of having Jake around. But what they don't expect is that Jake has a bit of a life of his own, including a love. Which sort of adds another addition. 

Warnings: The boys are fighting. Steven being a love sick puppy. Marc is kind of a dick in this not gonna lie. Mentions of some factors of D.I.D. . It's mentioned that Jake told reader about Marc's past, to a degree. There's some arguing about you and Jake being a thing for so long and kind of referenced that you and Jake technically overlap with Marc and Layla by a hair.

This fic is actually more of Steven just having a big stinkin' crush on you and Jake and Marc yelling at each other.  

Author’s Snip: I feel like this is good but not completely on the mark. Anon, if you want to throw me another scenario that's Jake centric with this idea/world then feel free. Just give me a sign.

Notes: I semi-proof read this so if there's weird grammar and shit just ignore it.  

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Jake was a surprise. Well, in the logic of common D.I.D. systems not really, but in the sense that neither Steven nor Marc knew he was there. It felt like a bit of a privacy breach to think that Jake's just watched everything go down from the shadows only to leave as soon as he came, and it was a bit unnerving to know that Jake was more off the hinges. But it's not like they could really do anything about him. Jake's a part of the system, whether they like it or not.

Jake honestly wasn't that much of a change up though. He usually did his own things and kept in his lane for the most part. Even if his tactics were more... forceful than Marc and Steven's were. Otherwise Jake would be something of an allusive one. He didn't seem to do much but they had a hunch that there was more than just Jake Lockley, the third alter, cabbie by daylight, and system parachute and low key Khonshu's hitman. And there was.

Because there was you.

Marc and Steven found out about you because they were on a mission that Khonshu demanded that they do. And it turns out Sekhmet had the same idea for you.

It wasn't like the two were in on it and it was a ruse to get you to meet the others. It was genuinely just an "Oops, did know you were gonna get it." sort of thing.

"Jake? Wasn't expecting a surprise team up with you. Usually boyfriends surprise their girlfriends flowers." you laugh under your breath as you try to not catch any unwanted attention. You didn't need anymore than the " Excuse me?" from Marc to know that it wasn't Jake you've bumped into. "I'll explain once we get this done. Just follow my lead for now." you say as you move on with what you were planning on doing.

"Okay... so..." you roll out trying to think of what to say after having just handled the mission, and now sitting at an empty park bench in your regular clothes, "My name is Y/N. What's yours?" you settle on as you lift your hand for a handshake, trying your best to have a non-nervous smile. "How do you know about Jake?" Marc asked, ignoring your polite gesture of formality.

"Marc. That is so rude. She's trying to be nice." Steven scolded from the puddle at his feet.

"Me and Jake are... together." you mumble out. "How?" Marc demanded. He looked so angry and menacing while he interrogated you. You've seen a lot of mean looking guys but when it's the face of someone you recognize as your boyfriend, you felt a bit trapped by the tense energy. You barely squeak out "I met him a while back.".

"Marc, if you just let me explain without making a scene it'll all make sense." you quickly speak out before he almost interrupts you, "How do you know my name. You were acting like you didn't know it a seco-".

Marc violently twitches before the tense scowl on his face disappears and is replaced with a softer worried expression after a second less violent twitch.

He looks at you, he sees that you looks a bit frightened, and then he speaks, with a British accent "I'm sorry about that... that-that wasn't me. I didn't switch us." he says, "Must have been-" he tries to say before you speak. "Steven, right?" you ask in a soft voice. He's caught a bit off guard that you said his name. He points to himself with a "Me?" and nods "Yeah.".

You stare at each other for a bit before you speak up. "Jake hasn't told you about me, I know. He just barely started being known to you guys and he didn't want to rush anything. I understood that and did my best to stay clear so that I wouldn't shock you two but I knew that there would be a fumble at some point." you explain.

Steven listens intently till you're done. It was either that or listening to Marc and Jake yell at each other in the reflection of the puddles.

"I only know about you guys because he wanted me to be ready when the time came for him to think that it was a good time for us to actually meet. I didn't mean to throw any of you through a loop like that. It's just been a while since I've seen him and I got excited." you apologize as you explain more.

"It's okay , love. It's just that we hardly know anything about Jake and finding out something so personal was a bit jarring." Steven says. You feel a little flutter at being called "love" for a second before Steven speaks again. He subconsciously touched your hand. "And I'm sincerely sorry about Marc's behavior. You were being courteous and he was acting like you were a danger when you were making it clear that your and Jake had some type of acquaintance." he apologized.

"It's okay." you comment. "Jake told me that Marc would be a bit... apprehensive about me. That's just how he is." you add.

"And me?" Steven questions with a bit of curiosity to what Jake might have said about him. "He said that if I meet you then you might be a bit flighty. Said that you were easy to spook." you say in a bit of a laugh.

Steven got to see more of you after that. You would spend some time to get to know each other more, which Jake approved of. He thought it was nice to see the two parts of his life that he kept separate finally meet. It was kind of like having cats meet for the first time where you watch them interact and then get comfortable with each other.

Steven, admittedly, and a bit too obviously, took a huge liking towards you. And you the same. You were fascinated with the other. He liked hearing about what you did as the avatar of Sekhmet and what that entailed for you both in mission and personal life. Along with what you just did in your regular civilian life. As for you, you were amazed to see a person who acted, talked, and even moved so differently than the person you usually associated his face and body with.

Unfortunately, you and Marc weren't taking to each other too nicely. Well, you were still perfectly friendly towards him any time you saw him. It was Marc who wasn't very enchanted by you.

Matter of fact, he and Jake were still at it with each other.

"How long has this been a thing?" Marc asked with the same demanding voice he did to you. "Three years." Jake answered in a nonchalant tone. "Three years?!" Marc repeated, unpleasantly surprised by the answer. Jake scoffed "Didn't she say we've known each other for a while?" Jake mentioned.

"So you've just been seeing this random woman for three years behind our back-? Behind Layla's back?" Marc fumbled out with anger. "You," Jake interrupted, "- Sent divorce papers to Layla. Not me." Jake clarified. "Not to mention. She was your wife. You made it very clear to Steven that she was off limits and I already knew that she was off limits. So sorry I went and found my own woman instead of hitting up yours." Jake quipped.

"Yeah and now it seems like Steven likes yours too." Marc said making his own quip.

"Good!" Jake bursted, "At least he's courteous enough to treat her with some respect and get to know her.". Marc would have spoken again but just beat him to it. "You're acting like I was going to hide you from each other forever. I would have had you two meet at some point once you were used to me. You three just met earlier then I would have liked." Jake explained.

"Did she know about Layla?" Marc asked. "Of course I told her about Layla! I was open and honest about my situation and what that would spell out for our relationship." Jake answered with an emphasis on the words open and honest. "How much did you tell her about us?" Marc demanded again before Jake exploded.

"Everything!" Jake barked. "I told her fucking everything I could! I told her about you. About Steven. Layla. Our condition. Everything about us, she knows. I wanted her to be ready for when you cross paths. I told her how to behave and what to watch out for so that she wouldn't startle either of you. And you know what? She did! She was going to explain everything to you if you would just let her fucking speak instead of grill her like that." Jake lectured.

Listening to the two fight was something that Steven would usually ignore. It seemed like arguing while getting to know each other was a thing in the system. Usually Steven would intervene if it was getting too bad or he was brought into it. But neither of those caught his attention because he was busy paying attention to you. Again.

"You look so different." you say almost out of the blue. "Excuse me." Steven spoke. "You look so different from Jake even though it's the same body." you remark.

"You have such different eyes. Yours are all doe eyed and round. Jake has a resting angry face. It's so weird." you smile. "And you smile different too. Jake only smiles a little and with the corner of his mouth, so it looks like a smirk. You smile with your cheeks." you add.

Steven flustered and felt shy under your gaze. The way you were talking didn't speak ill of neither him or Jake. You were speaking in admiration at what made them so different.

"You also don't have the little paperboy hat or gel." you point out as you look at the curls on his head. "Jake usually wears a little bit of gel to slick back some of his hair. I sometimes forget just how curly it is." you say as you gently reach to play with a few little curls. Steven honestly felt like he should be coughing up wings by now with the amount of butterflies he had going in his stomach and chest as you touched him. Even if it was just to admire him for a moment.

He did feel a bit guilty for enjoying your words and affirmation a little too much. He wasn't entirely sure if Jake would act the same as Marc did when he accidentally made contact with Layla. But then again, he hasn't had Jake barging in and being defensive about you. It felt weird to think about it this way but at least Jake was, seemingly, sharing. That or he's too focused on Marc when he's not the one fronting.

Steven did wish that Marc was nicer to you and more open to meeting you. You were very sweet and treated them nicely.

Maybe Marc would get to see you look at him and complement all the details about him like his eyes and his smile. You could get to know him and what he likes and how that contrasts with you. maybe you two could get used to fighting together in the cases that you bump into each other again.

[ivystoryweaver]

With you part 8

<-prev next -> || Fic Masterlist || My Masterlist

Summary: Marc is determined to fix everything

Pairings: Marc Spector x reader, Steven Grant x reader (Jake Lockley x reader) Gender neutral reader. No use of Y/N. Reader is engaged to Marc and Steven.

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings/notables: Angst, complicated relationship stuff, bit of fluff, cursing, crying. joke about taking painkillers/using food/coffee to cope. Mention of alcoholism, mention of Marc's past. Sex implied but nothing descriptive. No gender-specific language. Let me know if I missed a warning. inaccurate DID, based on the show. Not beta'd

PREVIOUSLY, on "With You"...

If there was anything in this world you wanted, it was for Marc to feel accepted and loved - every single part of him. That, of course, meant Steven, but now it meant Jake too. If Jake didn't want your love, you would have to accept that, but the fact that he seemed to think he didn't even have the right to exist outside his protective role - to ever talk or interact with who he called family, including his alters - it killed you.

That was the last thing you remembered before you passed out asleep on the bathroom floor.

Marc woke up to your alarm, blaring from your phone on the bedside table. Realizing you weren't in bed with him, he rolled over and shut off the annoying sound, then promptly plopped back down on his pillow.

With a huge yawn, he wondered why the hell he felt so tired, and then remembered: Jake. Who knew what he did with the body at night? For Khonshu and...well, maybe even with you.

He groaned, running his hands over his face. How could he actually feel this confusion and apprehension about a part of his own system? He never felt anything like this about Steven. But it was like he told you: he knew Steven. He didn't know Jake.

They had communicated a few times. Marc had even offered him a key, so that he didn't keep trying out acrobatics through the bedroom window.

It seemed important to you to know Jake, to include him, somehow, in all of this. He knew you were right. He was certain you even had feelings for Jake, or at least a pretty intense attraction. Damn him.

So Marc was trying. For you. And in a way, for himself. And he knew he should try for Jake too.

With a tired sigh, he climbed out of bed to visit the restroom, but noticed the door was closed. Deciding to give you a moment to do your own thing, he went to the kitchen to start some coffee. Remembering that Steven had class around an hour after your shift started, he also put on the kettle.

Several minutes passed with Marc completing everyday morning tasks, finishing the coffee and steeping some green tea, which he would choke down on Steven's behalf if needed. (it supposedly helped him concentrate?) On occasion, if Steven was dreadfully tired, Marc would be left to attend class, take furious notes and pretend to be interested in all of Steven's courses.

Realizing he still hadn't seen you, Marc made his way back to the bathroom and wrapped his knuckles on the door.

"Hey...I made you some coffee."

No answer.

Knocking again, he added, "You okay, sweetheart?"

Respecting that everyone needed some privacy sometimes, he gave you another minute or two. But he wasn't able to hear the shower or sink, nor could he decipher any sounds of you moving around, getting ready for your day. And this morning routine wasn't like you at all.

After another quick knock, he twisted the door knob; then realized the door wasn't locked. Calling your name, he pushed against the door...but it wouldn't open.

Panic zipped through his body as he shoved the door open, meeting resistance. His firm shove sent you tumbling over on the other side.

You had been dead asleep against the door, and now you were a tangle of Marc's hoodie, the bathroom rug and his frantic arms, which were all over you.

"Baby? Baby, what's the matter? What happened?"

"Marc?" You croaked. You felt awful. "Ow."

"Honey, are you hurt? Talk to me." His hands checked you over carefully, his eyes wild and worried.

"I'm...I fell asleep." You reached up to rub the crick in your neck, blinking your puffy, burning eyes.

Helping you ease into a sitting position, Marc grasped your shoulders, joining you on the floor.

"You slept in the bathroom? Why, baby - are you sick?"

Marc absolutely worshipped the ground you walked on, but even he had to admit - you looked terrible. Your hair was a mess, your eyes were dull and swollen, with dark circles beneath them. You neck was covered in a layer of sweat because you had apparently slept fully dressed, when you were used to sleeping in only his t-shirt.

Leaning your forehead against his chest, you sank into his arms, feeling a few new tears forming. You were so fucking relieved to see him.

Pulling you close, Marc rocked you gently, his heart thundering and his gut twisting with worry.

"It's okay...it's okay, honey," his voice trembled with concern. He couldn't recall the last time he'd seen you like this. You were the steady one. He was the drama queen (according to Steven).

After shedding a few tears, you were desperate to get up off the floor, drink a gallon of water, 2 gallons of coffee and take like 17 painkillers.

"I'm not sick," you mumbled into his t-shirty chest. Finally sitting all the way up, you rubbed your eyes sleepily. "Just had a rough night."

Marc nodded, giving you a moment to explain. Meanwhile his brain was firing off a long list of terrible possibilities about how you ended up here. He was the one who had spent a ridiculous amount of time on the bathroom floor after spending the previous night in a bottle.

Surely you hadn't been drinking...

"Oh god - what time is it?" You climbed off the floor, shoving your hands inside your pockets to find your phone - which was still on the bedside table.

"Not sure," Marc said carefully, standing up to join you. "Your alarm went off about ten or fifteen minutes ago.”

"Shit, I'm gonna be late," you huffed, yanking off your layers of clothes, halfway tripping on them as you reached to turn on the shower.

"Hey...hey," Marc grasped your elbow, the way Jake was prone to do, bringing you to a standstill. Despite losing his mind with worry, he caressed your cheek tenderly. "What can I do? What do you need?"

You started to cry again, unable to believe your tears hadn't dried up yet.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Quickly releasing you, he gave you some space, fearing he was only upsetting you more.

"Could you make me a turkey sandwich?" You sniffled, wiping your nose with your sleeve. "And a really big travel mug of coffee?"

"Of course," he nodded, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead. "Need your scrubs out of the laundry basket?"

Your bottom lip trembled as you nodded right back.

Several minutes later, after the all-time quickest shower and morning routine, you found Marc in the kitchen.

"Ah, you smell much better," he teased, hoping a lame joke would maybe cheer you up just a tiny bit. When you paused, he figured he'd fucked up. Typical. He held up your lunch bag as a peace offering.

But you ignored it, sliding your arms around his body and burying your face in his chest. Setting the lunch bag back down carefully, he wrapped his arms around you and buried his nose in your hair. Pressing a soft kiss to your temple. he rubbed your back soothingly.

"Thank you," you murmured after a few quiet moments, peering up into his eyes. "You have no idea how much I needed you this morning. I love you so much."

He melted, grateful for the small measure of comfort he was able to give. And thankful that he was the one able to share it. "I love you too."

Reaching up with one hand, he traced the fullness of your bottom lip with his thumb. "You're sure you're feeling okay, sweetheart?"

Nodding, you leaned into his touch as he brushed his fingers over your cheek. "I'm just tired. I was up most of the night."

His jaw twitched, dark eyes flashing possessively. "With Jake?"

Your gaze dropped. You really didn't want to talk about it, especially since you were running late.

"You're upset, though, so...I'm thinking maybe...it didn't go well?" Desperately trying to piece together anything about last night, Marc assumed the two of you had not come to any kind of agreement - relational or physical. If you had, he figured you would be in a much better disposition. He felt sick over what could have upset you so badly.

He knew better than to ask if Jake hurt you, after you had made it abundantly clear that no part of the system would ever harm you in any way. Still...

"Did he...hurt you? Your feelings, I mean," Marc quickly clarified. "He-he made you feel like this?"

Shaking your head, you pulled away, reaching for your lunch and giant tumbler of coffee. "No," you finally answered, scooping up your bag. "I did."

It became abundantly clear when Steven got out of class because he blew up your phone with messages, a few of which included...

'Heard you had a rough go of it last night. Seems like someone was a right twit. (maybe it was the stupid pigeon) So sorry, love. Hope your day is aces.'

A half-hour later...

'Hate to bug you - just wanted to say how much I love you.'

And another.

'Don't worry about a thing tonight. Already placed an order for your favorite takeaway. It's important to rest, so I'll read to you if you like.'

And that's just what you did. Dinner was warm and ready as soon as you walked in the door and only an hour later, your head was in Steven's lap as he read French poetry to you.

"How could I be so lucky?" You whispered, drifting off to sleep.

The following morning, you were well-rested and much more yourself. Steven's pampering and loving attention definitely helped improve things as well. And you felt anxious and excited for him to do a repeat of that French poetry reading so you could do scandalous things right back to him.

Briefly wondering if your fiancé got enough rest or if Jake was out all night again, you decided that, on this particular day, you didn't give a damn.

(You actually did.)

Marc was expecting you to fill him in a little more on what had taken place to upset you so on bathroom-floor-night. But you didn't really say much at all, and that's how he knew it was bad.

Still, he couldn't complain when you pulled one of his classic moves and decided to use his body for a little stress relief.

He was innocently making your lunch, again, hoping it would cheer you up or at least make your day go smoothly. But halfway through slicing a tomato, you walked up to the counter, boldly took the knife out of his hand and pressed your mouth to his.

He was kind of oddly excited that you were kissing him while holding a sharp knife, but you quickly set it down.

"Good morning," he grinned, forgetting your lunch and wrapping you up for what he assumed was a delicious morning greeting.

It was more than that. Your hands pushed his t-shirt up his abdomen before yanking everything else down. Your hands flew all over him, caressing, stroking, tugging and making him lose his damn mind in the middle of the kitchen.

"Come on," you ordered, dragging him by the arm. He assumed you were headed to bed, but you didn't make it past the first oversized chair in the living room before you were on him. And you were not gentle.

"Need you," you gasped, even as your bodies were already joined.

He was so ready to give you anything you wanted - anything in the world to comfort you, to love you, or just worship your body. After all, being Marc, he felt responsible. For damn near everything.

For his past, for his drinking. For everything that had ever gone wrong in his childhood home. For Randall. For icing Steven out for years. For anything Jake said or did unbeknownst to him. For all the blood on his hands.

Hell, it was probably his fault that the Cubs couldn't win the World Series for a damn century. If there was blame to be assigned, Marc always assumed his name was at the top of the list.

So whatever he could do for you, he would try his damndest.

The two of you finished on the chair and moved to the shower because you had to get ready for work and also because you weren't done with him - not that he was complaining.

But as soon as you left for work, he found the nearest mirror and glared at his reflection.

"All right, assholes," he growled, leaning in as if he could magically summon his alters. "Let's fucking go. My fiancé(e) is devastated and we're going to fix it. Right fucking now."

After a minute of staring, he huffed and rolled his eyes. He knew perfectly well that this wasn't how it worked - he couldn't stare into a mirror and summon Jake like Bloody Mary or Candyman.

Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to remember any advice from his meetings or therapy sessions. Or from you. His patience didn't last long enough to be reasonable however, so he banged his fist on the mirror in annoyance, but not hard enough to break it.

"Steven? Jake? Come on," he huffed.

'Don't look at me, mate,' he heard Steven say. 'Got no clue. But I bet the stupid old bird's to blame.'

Fine then.

Squaring his shoulders, Marc felt ready to do fucking battle if he had to. Because, even though he didn't realize it, you were right. He was your hero. Drawing a deep breath, he called out,

"KHONSHU!"

@stormydaysxx @laaundromat @kindlover @flyestvenustrap @spxctorsslxt @deezisnotreal @stevenknightmarc @imonmykneessir @marvelouslovely-barnes @evilbubu @usualsworld @rivalriotrenegade @wordacadabra @this--is--music @i-still-dont-like-your-face @cicithemess2000

Dividers by saradika

next ->

[stvharrngton]

and when the rain came

a/n: not totally in love with this but i thought i would post it anyway 🤷‍♀️ i’m ill and a sucker for angst so let’s go

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: 1.8k

warnings: angst, friends to lovers, fluffy ending

prompt: 28. I hate that you're mad at me, but you look so hot right now.

You hated parties.

Scratch that, you hated parties with Steve. So when Robin invited you to some senior’s party this weekend it was a hard no. And when Steve begged you to go it was an even harder no. But Robin was so persuasive, pleading with you to go because she just couldn’t bare to go to a party alone with Steve.

So when you found yourself stood shoulder to shoulder with Robin, nursing whatever concoction the host had made in a red solo cup, watching Steve get fawned over by some pretty blonde girl against the wall, you really wish you stayed home.

Steve was drunk. The boy giggling wildly as the girl leaned into him to press her lips to his ear to shout something over the music, her dainty hand pressed to his chest. His large palm hovered over her waist, the other holding his drink at his side.

You felt the usual pang of jealousy in your chest, enabled by the alcohol. It was like a sharp knife lunged right into your stomach, a hot sting coursing through your veins. Tears threatened to prick your lashes as Robin shot you a sympathetic look at the scene unfolding before you.

You downed the rest of your drink, letting it sting your throat on the way down. Your eyes never leaving Steve as you shouted, “I need another drink.” over the music.

He met your gaze as Robin was on your tail as you pushed through the crowd, Steve’s giddy smile downturning into a frown, his brows knitting together. He’d stopped listening to whatever nonsense the girl was muttering in his ear when he saw the sad look on your face.

Pouring yourself more of the punch, you sighed. You and Steve had been toeing the line between friendship and… something more for a while now. The constant flirting, how his hands would always linger on your waist for a little longer than they should. He’d always swing by your job with your favourite coffee and pastry order, his lips brushing your cheek every time you said goodbye.

You were just as bad as each other. Both of you too scared to admit your feelings, in fear of how they’d alter your friendship. They wouldn’t. And you knew they wouldn’t, but it’s the lie you told yourself.

The difference in you being you didn’t try to date, didn’t try to meet anyone else. Because there wouldn’t be anyone else. Steve was it for you.

So when Steve stumbled into the kitchen to find you, with a different girl clinging to his chest, his arm slung around her shoulder, you almost spat your drink out.

It was too much. You felt your throat close up as your hands grew clammy, tears prickling at the corner of your eyes. The alcohol flowing through your system certainly not helping the situation.

Your gaze bleary as you stormed past them and out through the front door. The cold air pricked your skin as you walked down the street. You didn’t know where you were going, you just knew you needed to get out of there.

“Hey, wait!” Steve shouted after you, tripping over his own feet, “Where are you going?”

“Home!” you called back out to him, never stopping to look behind you at him.

Steve’s long stride allowed him to catch up to you easily, “I thought you were coming back to my place?” he asked, breath panting a little.

“I want to go home, Steve.”

Steve reached his hand out to wrap around your wrist, spinning on your feet to face him, “What’s going on with you?” he asked, concern painting his features.

“Nothing Steve,” you spoke quietly, feeling small under his gaze, “just go back to the party.”

You yanked your wrist from his clutch, spinning back on your heel to continue your walk home. Your arms wrapped around yourself, your heart beating through your chest.

“And let you walk home alone?” Steve guffawed, “No way.”

You didn’t respond. You just kept walking. You hoped he would get the hint but unfortunately, Steve was resilient. Especially when it came to you. Refusing to let it go until he knew what was wrong. And how he could fix it.

Steve walked beside you, hands stuffed in his pockets, “So, you gonna tell me what’s wrong now?” he asked, elbow nudging your arm.

You rolled your eyes, trying to pull your arm in closer to your body, “Nothing’s wrong, Steve,” you sighed, “why don’t you go back to those girls at the party? I’m sure they’re missing you.” you spat, a little harsher than intended.

Steve stopped in his tracks, like a deer caught in headlights. Voice stuttering, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Please,” you scoffed, “you love it and I just have to stand there and fucking watch!” your voice raised a little higher now, “And pretend like it doesn’t bother me.”

There you stood in the street, cheeks flushed and chest rising slowly. Tears welling in your eyes as realisation hit that you just admitted your feelings for your best friend. Well, sort of.

Steve watched you carefully through his hazy eyes, mind still a little foggy, his heart pounding against his rib cage. He stood as you cussed him out. Words dripping with hurt and heartache, and you were right. He did love it, the attention from girls at parties, it made him feel wanted. But they would never be you.

But Steve was drunk. And drunk Steve didn’t have a filter. No control over his mouth, his brain a second too slow to stop himself from slurring out words he didn’t mean. So when he watched you, face tinted pink, lips red from your lipstick and jungle juice, the dress you wore hugging your figure in all the right places. Your soft hair cascading over your shoulders; Steve’s mind went into overdrive.

“I hate that you’re mad at me, but you look so hot right now.”

You stared at him blankly for a second, trying to process his words, eyes narrowing, “You’re unbelievable, Steve.” you stated, simply.

You did your best to focus on your feet, moving one in front of the other, you were sure you weren’t even walking in the direction of your house anymore. You tried to push that horrible sick feeling back down to the pit of your stomach. You knew it was just the beers Steve had downed speaking, of course, but his words made you feel cheap.

“Fucking idiot.” he groaned to himself, speeding up after you once again, “Beautiful!” he called out after you, “I meant, shit, I meant beautiful, I swear.”

You ignored him, just carried on walking. You almost didn’t realise that you ended up outside Steve’s house, BMW parked in the drive. You heard the boy breathe a sigh of relief as his fingers wrapped around your wrist again, forcing you to look at him.

“What do you want me to say, huh?” he taunted, “That I love you? That I’m in love with you?” Steve’s arms flailed above him, frustration bleeding through to his features, “Is that what you want to hear?”

Your lip quivered as your tears fell freely now, his voice laced with venom, words cutting deep, “What? I-,” you stuttered, “No! I don’t know!” you cried.

But you did. You definitely did.

Steve chuckled softly at your reaction, his features softening, his fingers carding through his hair, “‘Cause I will,” he spoke quieter now, “tell you that, I mean. Because I do.”

He took a step closer to you now, hands cupping your cheeks gently, thumbs wiping away your tears. The gesture was so soft, so heartfelt and so Steve. Your Steve. You sighed, letting your eyelids flutter closed at his touch.

“Steve,” your voice cracked, “you act like we’re together, you treat me as if I’m your girlfriend,” you began, hiccuping as you tried to keep your sobs at bay, “but then we go out, we go to a party and it’s like, like you forget I exist or something! I just don’t get it, Steve.”

Your tears wouldn’t stop, mascara streaking down your cheeks and Steve internally kicked himself, over and over, “I’m sorry, babe,” he started, “shit, I messed up, okay? I messed up.”

Nodding solemnly, you sniffled, wrinkling your nose. “I mean it though,” Steve’s voice was soft, calming almost, “I’m in love with you, always have been.”

Your heart swelled at his admission, your wet eyes boring up into his big, warm brown ones. The soft smile that tugged on his lips, the tip of his nose tinted pink, the way his hands caressed your face; it was home.

“Always just been too scared to do anything about it, always thought you were too good for me,” Steve mumbled, voice a quiet hum, his thumb soothing a fresh tear into the skin of your cheek, “was stupid really.”

You nodded, a soft laugh escaping your lips, “Yeah, it was.” you spoke and Steve all but grinned at you in the middle of his driveway.

“I’m sorry,” he cooed, fingers tucking your hair behind your ear, finger and thumb coming to hold your chin, “I really am.”

You let your arms snake around the boy’s waist, pulling him impossibly closer to you, “I’m in love with you too, Steve.”

He rest his forehead against your own, eyes bright and smile wide. You left him wondering why he waited, why he tortured himself all this time, putting off the inevitable.

“Good to know,” he chuckled, lips brushing against your hairline, “let me make it up to you, hm?” Steve asked.

“I suppose,” you teased and then you felt the rain. First a drop or two on your cool pimpled skin but as the seconds went by the harder it lashed against the ground and you.

You squealed as it soaked you both, your dress now sopping and clinging to your skin. Steve’s mused hair flat against his forehead as you clambered into his arms.

Steve laughed a laugh that only you got to hear, something that came from the bottom of his stomach that was made just for you. He spun you around in the rain, setting you back down on the ground before he asked,

“Can I kiss you?” loud enough for you to hear over the rush of water from above.

You rolled your eyes but beamed up at the boy anyway, “You’re such a cliche, Harrington.”

But you pulled him down to you by the collar of his jacket, crashing your lips to his. The kiss was a little messy, you smiling into each other’s mouths, a languid move of your lips.

It was like something out of a movie, you thought, a gentle pinch to your skin to make sure you weren’t dreaming. But no, this was real. Steve was real. And he was yours.

[ciaonicole85]

Part 1: What then?

Some seemingly innocent, but truly mind-altering information is shared in a staff meeting.

Short fan fic. Low-key Sydcarmy/The Bear fluff. Post-season 2. Canon-compliant.

Location: The Bear

Time: 10:05 a.m.

The restaurant had closed lunch service on a Tuesday for a "Development Day". The Bear had been open for 5 months and had a 2 month wait list! After Family and Friends when they had all banded together the Bear crew had gotten tighter than ever. Carmen had been a outsider in his own restaurant for a couple weeks, but soon the dust settled. Even Sydney came around after 3 weeks of his patient groveling. The duo was good and soon The Bear had become one of Chicago Tribune's "Best New Restaurants." However, with success The Bear was changing fast. They had hired more full-time front and kitchen staff, which was great. The downside was that "respectful communication" and "customer complaint management" was waning a little. Things were not terrible, but Richie for whom Ever set the bar in hospitality, The Bear should always be improving, not sliding backwards. Natalie, Carmen and Sydney agreed. They also wanted to discuss new menu changes and a to-go system they would be testing soon.

"Okay, people! Let's get started" Natalie said beckoning everyone to take a seat at the front of house.

Richie stood next her "casually dressed" in a button down blue dress shirt and dark grey slacks.

He began, "As you know The Bear is on track to paying off the loan and we're the freakin' toast of the town right now, but this is not the time to take a nap. We gotta keep our eyes on the prize. So first, up facial regulation as known as RBF awareness."

Natalie tapped his shoulder and whispered, "Richie, I love your enthusiasm, but I thought we might start with an ice breaker?"

He shrugged and continued, "But Nat, has a ice breaker. Take it away".

Natalie resumed.

"So, first we want to thank each of you for being part of this dream and making it fun, rewarding, and successful. As you know The Bear is a family business and since there's new faces here we'd like to get to know you better and vice versa. We'll start with a quick round of "Best and Worst". Just pick a question out of the cup and answer it. Please keep your answers to 2 minutes."

The first question went to Randall, a young man in his early 20's with dark curly hair and thick glasses that frequently fogged in the humid kitchen. He was the new assistant pastry chef.

"What was the best place I ever lived? Hm…Guam. My dad, Army, was stationed on the base and I lived there from age 9-11. I had like 12 friends just on my block and we were always playing soccer, swimming, or riding our bikes. It was awesome."

"Thanks Randall!" Natalie chirped.

The next went to Tina.

"Ok…what is worst advice I've ever been given? Keep your head down and do what you know. That's the advice I used to give myself. Thankfully I didn't listen because now I'm a sous chef!"

Sydney who was sitting near the front between Gary and Carmy, beamed at Tina who returned the smile with a little moisture in her eyes.

The next question went to Marcus.

"Best moment in the last year? It was training at Noma, in Copenhagen. It was my first international trip. I got to stay in a houseboat, explore the city, meet cool people, and figure out that I wanted to do this maybe forever."

The last several months had been really hard due to Marcus's mom's passing. He had returned to work after a week of mourning citing that he knew she wouldn't want him to sit at home now that she was no longer sick. Despite that he was getting better every day and had come up with several new popular dessert specials. Tina was seated next to him and patted his arm.

The next few questions went to new dishwasher, Chris, Fak, and then Gary.

Sydney drew the next question and winced upon reading it. It wouldn't be possible to lie because Marcus already knew the truth.

"What was my best meal ever? Well…it was this pork confit with onions and rhubarb. Then after I had this dish called Milk and Honey."

She kept her eyes plastered on the tiny strip of paper while she spoke. In her peripheral field she could see Carm turning slightly towards her, his cornflower blue eyes boring two holes into the side of her head.

"Sounds grand. Ok, Carmy pick a question" Richie ordered wanting to get down to business by 10:30am.

Carmy didn't seem to hear him. He was on another planet.

"Yo cuz, pick a question!"

He startled and drew a question.

"Uh ok. Best part of my day? Hmmm. Closing up."

It was now Sydney's soul's turn to exit her body. Every night, with few exceptions, she and Carmy ended the night in his office to debrief on the day, perform last checks, and close together.

After a moment she felt his eyes still glancing at her. Without turning she whispered, "Later." The last thing she needed was to look at him, and forget how much time was passing, giving Richie yet another reason to tease them. Not long ago he gave them matching copies of a workplace relationship etiquette tip sheet stapled to an OSHA industrial hygiene handout before leaving them to close.

She sighed, trying to compose herself. It was no big deal. So what that Carm knew he was responsible for the best thing she ever ate? Also, they're partner-friends so it's totally normal that his favorite time of day when is they are together…alone. Right?

UH OH.

[snowglobe-system]

Systems, be kind to your “problematic” alters. No, I don’t mean don’t give them consequences for their actions, and no, I don’t mean just let them wreak havoc on your life. But I do mean try to work with them instead of against them.

We have one of these problematic alters. Her name is Nyx. She holds a lot of the trauma and holds a lot of mental illness symptoms and addiction problems. She embodies some of the worst parts of our abusers. Nyx has intense emotions that she can’t always control, she can be manipulative, nasty, mean, she takes front and suddenly we’ve been on a bender for four days and she’s been a total bitch to everyone who loves us and who we love. She self-harms, she’s the reason for a lot of our near misses with suicide. When we say she can be problematic, we MEAN IT.

We’ve spent years fighting with her, trying to keep her in headspace, treating her coldly. She always breaks out of containment. She’s weirdly good at it. But recently we’ve started thinking that Nyx’s propensity for breaking out is, in part, our brain trying to tell us something. Because after years of fighting against her, we decided to try something new. We saw her being angry and bitchy about a particular guy our partner was talking to, and instead of condemning her and locking her up, we asked her why.

Nyx didn’t know the answer at first, so we waited with her until she figured it out. She then explained that she feels like expressing her needs makes her a bad person (which is almost definitely an internalized message from our abuser), but circumstances around this particular guy were making her feel really insecure, and in the absence of being able to talk about what her actual feelings are, she tried to get rid of the threat by being overall angry and negative about him. In essence? Nyx feels like she can’t express needs because she feels like she should be able to meet them independently. So, the needs go unmet, and she ends up resorting to underhanded tactics to meet them, which doesn’t always work because people can’t read her mind, and then it builds up into a much bigger problem than it was originally.

And you know what? That’s something we can work with.

In one of our first acts of real system cooperation, we coaxed her into talking to our partner about how she felt, and she did, and she even wound up apologizing for her behaviour, on her own, without any of us making her. 

We decided that instead of locking her back up, we’d give her the grace of letting her have a little freedom, and asked her not to go on a bender or self sabotage relationships. And you know what she did with front the next day?

She put on a cute outfit, put temporary pink hair dye in our hair, had a drink and a smoke at dinner with our parents and brother, and went to see the Barbie movie with our mom and nana. Not exactly the unhinged behaviour we’ve come to expect from her. The most unhinged thing she did was the hair dye, and honestly? The colour is temporary and it looks good on us. She showed off the outfit to anyone who would give her the time of day, and it was honestly adorable. She was so happy and excited to feel like a cute girl! It’s a very different side of her, but one that’s been here the whole time.

And all it took was offering her some understanding, teamwork and trust. She hasn’t gotten better overnight. She still has a lot of problems. There is still work to be done with her. But you know what did happen overnight? She’s agreed to work with us at all.

So yeah. Be kind to your problematic alters, because that’s the first step of cooperation.

[rikiflrts]

At The Usual Spot.

synopsis. after traversing through teyvat for what seemed like decades to find your twin sibling, you decided to take a break from the hustle and bustle as you allowed yourself to bask in your innermost desires, which you were reluctant to do—falling in love. you settled in fontaine with paimon a little over a year ago to take a breather, and that’s where you meet the charming magician who, for some reason, you couldn’t take your eyes off of. it was almost like he hypnotized you, except he didn’t. it was true that he was one of the greatest magicians who’ve ever existed in teyvat, but who would’ve thought that his greatest act yet would leave the most bittersweet aftertaste? you already lost your sibling, and now...you've possibly just lost the love of your life.

contents. gn!reader, fontaine arc is altered here but there are some minor spoilers, flashbacks are italicized, suggestive-ish themes, use of french words, slight profanity. angst.

words. 13,134

reblogs are very much appreciated !! ଘ(˵╹-╹)━☆

being a traveler was no joke. you had to venture into multiple regions and chew on any information you could get from the archons—most of them couldn’t even give you a concrete answer as to where your twin sibling was, even though you knew that they were connected to your blood kin somehow. one of the archons was a drunk bard who couldn’t be taken seriously in a nutshell; another was a man who had his lips sealed due to a contract; then followed a woman who made puppets to rule her kingdom so she could isolate herself from the world; then there was a small flower girl that shrank and had amnesia; and then there was this archon who hosted jury trials in the opera house as a form of entertainment.

you’d think that most of them could at least help you gain intel since they’re considered as highly ranked entities that serve their people through systems, but ironically enough, the only person who was really able to help was the flower girl who changed lives.

no, literally, she changed lives. look at the wanderer, for example—she took him under her wing, and now he’s a changed man. well, not really, but at least he was friendlier.

you met a lot of people who have helped you along the way, but in order to make a living, you took up commissions and went on various adventures. it was a routine;  you enter a new region, you meet the archon, you help them solve their issues, and then they tell you to skidaddle and move on to the next region. 

you’ve been going at it for what seemed like years. you’re burned out, and your mind needs a break from the constant demands that people keep weighing on your shoulders.

paimon said it herself. you needed a break. you were so much of a people-pleaser and a workaholic that you didn’t even notice your own mental health declining.

“this can’t keep going on, traveler! paimon knows how badly you want to be reunited with your sibling, but paimon is worried that you might end up collapsing due to exhaustion!!” the emergency food says worriedly as she tugs on your sleeve. the pitch of her voice went up a bit higher, which indicated the intensity of her tone. she was really concerned about you.

“paimon, i can’t stop now. the sooner we move, the faster we can find them.” you say adamantly as you gently remove her hand from your sleeve before flattening it out so that it doesn’t wrinkle, “i’ll be fine.” you say in an attempt to reassure you with a solemn look on your face, but paimon responds by stomping her feet mid-air. “paimon can’t stand seeing you like this traveler!! please, just take a break!” 

you sigh at her stubbornness, which is ironic because you were being stubborn too.

“alright, i’ll take a break-” you got cut off mid-sentence as paimon squeals in excitement, “YOU WILL?? HOORAY! paimon thinks we should stop by at the tavern so we could reple-” “paimon.” “oh…ehe. sorry, continue...” she says sheepishly with an apologetic smile after realizing that she was getting ahead of herself once again.

“as i was saying, i’ll take a break, but only once we set foot in fontaine. two weeks should be enough.” you finally continued, to which paimon responded with bright, gleaming eyes. “really??? do you promise that?” paimon asks eagerly as she holds up her pinky, indicating that a pinky promise should be made to seal the deal. you couldn’t help but laugh at her childishness.

“pinky promise.” 

true to your word, you did plan to take a break once you arrived in the hydro archons’ kingdom. you were aware that your presence would cause an uproar among the masses since word has gone out that a blonde traveler fought with heaven and earth just to do justice to the people on land, and apparently, a publishing company called the steambird was the one that made that silly headline.

because of that, you were forced to keep a low profile for the time being to avoid everyone’s attention shifting onto you.

and that is why, as of now, you were wearing a hood that covered your distinct, blonde hair as you got boarded off at the romaritime harbor. the deep waterfalls that extended through the horizon made a lightly deafening sound as you could vividly hear the impact of the water crashing down onto the ocean repeatedly in a continuous cycle. 

ignoring that unbearable rhythm, you hummed to yourself in contentment as you looked around—there were dogs adorned with jewelry and articles of clothing, transportation vehicles that followed specific currents, and mechanical guards with human-like forms wandering around the harbor—it was a sight to behold. the rumors were true after all. fontaine is way ahead of its time.

“this seems like a curious place to reside in…” you mumble to yourself while looking around you as you walk up to what seems like an elevator, unbeknownst to the ash-blonde male who was about to collide with you.

“ouch!!” “gah-!”

you were quite a high-alert person, but you got so distracted with sight-seeing that you ended up bumping into the stranger before falling to the ground. 

“archons…” you winced in pain as the impact of the fall made its way to your bum. you were too focused on making sure that you fell unscathed to see the man in front of you. 

“oh heavens!! ma chérie, are you alright?” he spoke with a hint of concern. you still didn’t look up at him. judging by the way he talks alone, you could tell that he was a lively person who could achieve anything he set his mind to. his intonation was enough for you to decipher what kind of person he could possibly be. but alas, it appears that you were the only one who fell from the impact, though, which explains why he lowered himself as he offered to lend you a hand to stand up. 

“yes, i’m alright.” you say politely as you take his hand to stabilize yourself as you stand up. once your feet were finally placed back on the ground, your eyes met his mischievous violet orbs. “I apologize for bumping into you, mr. …” you trailed off, realizing that you don’t really know who this man is. he wore interesting clothes—that of a magician. you didn’t really want to assume what he does for a living though, so you chose to call him the first thing that came to mind. “mr… hat?” you say awkwardly as you bow lightly to avoid his eyes due to embarrassment, which earned a hearty chuckle from his delicate figure.

“mr. hat, you say?” he chuckles once again before continuing. “ah! where are my manners? allow me to introduce myself. my name is lyney, and i am a renowned magician here in fontaine.” he places one hand to his chest and the other behind his back as he bows down in almost a curtsey as a form of greeting.’ so he IS a magician…’ you thought to yourself. you were about to let your mind wander once more until he continued.

“It is a pleasure to meet you,” he paused for a moment and grabbed your hand gently before continuing,  “oh legendary traveler.” he locked eye contact with you as he kissed your hand lightly. as if the kiss wasn’t enough to fluster you, he even found out your true identity. you got taken aback by his direct nature, but you paid little-to-no mind to his formality. “how did you know???” you leaned into him and whispered as fear was written all over your face. you started to panic as you looked around to see if anyone had heard him.

‘is this man always this…brazen?’ you thought to yourself.

“well…” he trailed off smiling as his eyes shifted his focus onto something else. your gaze followed his, which made you realize that the hood that hid your face neatly from unwanted gazes had fallen to your shoulders.

so much for keeping a low profile.

you widen your eyes and internally curse yourself for being so careless. you’re so out of it today. paimon was right, you really needed to get some rest.

just as that realization crept onto you, you heard a snap! illicit from the magician’s fingers and before you knew it, your hood went back into place, hiding your golden locks as if he performed a magic trick.

you witnessed all kinds of bizarre phenomena; harnessing visions was one thing, but sincere gestures and instances like this felt surreal to you. it was as if the inner child in you slowly crawled their way out of hiding as you reminisced about the magic shows you watched as a child with your twin during previous expeditions.

the nostalgic but fleeting feeling left a bittersweet taste on your lips.

you looked at him in awe, to which he replied with a smirk. “what? cat got your tongue?” he teases you with an amusing look on his face. “very funny.” you dryly laughed at his pun as you tugged on the hem of your hoodie to attempt to hide your face even more.

lyney noticed your odd behavior and asked, “are you hiding from someone, by any chance?” you stared at him blankly for a couple of seconds before replying, “im not really hiding from someone per se, im just trying to avoid getting too much attention.” you then briefly explained what you were going through and that you wanted to rest for a while in this new environment before going back to your daily routine.

“i see. so you’re not a fugitive that’s on the loose right now, correct?” he jokingly says as he traces the brim of his top hat. your gaze unconsciously followed where his fingertips landed, which gave you the opportunity to appreciate the feline crest that was embroidered on his clothing with delicate detail. “hey, im just trying to take it easy.” you said in defense as you pouted lightly since you didn’t like what he just accused you of, finally tearing your eyes away from the mischievous magician who stood before you.

meanwhile, lyney over here finds you intriguingly adorable. it made him want to tease you more.

“im just making sure. you now stand on sacred grounds of justice under the hydro archon herself. it wouldn’t be a favorable place for you to be in had you done something illegal, no?” he smirks, violet orbs still staring straight through your soul as he slightly tips his head forward—almost like a playful form of provocation. 

“you must be mistaken, monsieur lyney. i wouldn’t do something as disgraceful as that, so rest assured.” you say in a matter-of-a-fact tone. it was a good thing katheryn taught you a few french words before you headed to the hydro archons’ region. It’s just like what she said: when in fontaine, do what the fontainians do. 

lyney’s eyebrows perked up in surprise as he heard you call him by a formal honorific in his native language. see, normally, this wouldn’t be a big deal because the word monsieur was commonly thrown around for formality and respect. but for some reason, hearing that eight-lettered word roll out from those lovely lips of yours made his heart do a summersault. the fact that you also said it in their thick accent made him all the more amused.

“but of course, i was only teasing you, mademoiselle!” He laughs it off which makes you sigh in relief. you broke eye contact with him as you shifted and ruffled your clothing for a bit as you felt the cold wind slip through the gaps of your cloak. it was getting cold, you should get going soon.

you were about to bid farewell to the fiery-spirited magician, but when you looked back up, he was no longer there. 

“huh…” in a confused state, you tiptoe yourself upwards to see if he had walked far, only for you to be startled by a voice behind you.

“looking for me?” lyney whispered cheekily in your ear. you yelled shortly after he did this out of surprise before hitting him lightly on the shoulder. “don’t do that next time, you scared me!! why are you even there anyways??” lyney only smiles as you look at him with widened eyes. “how’d you like my disappearing act?” he avoids your question. 

“i wouldn’t really call that a disappearing act. i bet you just took the opportunity to silently sneak behind me while i wasn’t looking.” you rebutted with a scoff. “oh but ma chérie, magic is all about the art of deception. it wasn’t a real magic trick, i admit, but the gesture was simple enough to have you on your tiptoes just to catch sight of me once more.” his words almost felt as if it had different meanings, but you shrugged it off. “in your dreams, magic man..” you tease him by sticking your tongue out childishly, finally going along with his flow. 

“haha. you really are an adorable little one, now aren’t you?” He says amusingly as he lifts up your chin with his index finger. “who are you calling litt-” he hushes your lips with the same finger before winking. “ah-ah-ah.” he says with a smug look in his eyes. 

honestly, you were about to throw hands at this man because he was being so touchy with you despite just meeting, but then you felt the sharp coldness melting on your skin as a comfortable warmth enveloped you. 

“how did you do that…” you look at lyney in a bewildered state as he only chuckled at your innocent reaction. “i only used my vision to balance your body temperature, ma chérie. im pretty sure you of all people know what visions are.” he says humbly as his touch breaks contact with your skin. you felt a burning sensation in the spots where he lingered, and you didn’t mean this literally.

“no but the control you have over your vision, it's… it’s amazing. thank you.” only then did you let out a heart-warming close-eyed smile that lyney ever-so loved as he witnessed the sight. the atmosphere was just right. night has fallen but the moon did not fail to illuminate your skin as it gave you a radiant glow; you were as clear as day. the animosity of the cold season lingered through all parts of the romaritime harbor—he could warm up the place easily if he wished to with his pyro vision—and yet your smile was enough to denoise the unseasonably cold weather. 

lyney determinedly thought to himself as he pondered with his thumb and index finger cupping his chin. that’s it. you have to be there. you just have to be. 

as if on cue, lyney snaps his fingers in realization once he musters up the courage to be bold. “traveler, you have something on your hair.” he points innocently at your hidden locks. you could’ve sworn that nothing was there before but you felt a light-weight object cling to the strands of your hair. you looked at him cautiously before slowly taking it out of your hair. 

you thought this was an insect or a prank of some sort, but to your surprise, it was a beautiful flower that had hues of yellows and blues mixed in with the soft petals of pink romantics. the night sky gave it justice as it lightly twinkled with the stars.

you really didn’t know what to expect from this man, he was unpredictable. “is this…” you trailed off, not knowing what to say. you were too busy adoring what the magician presented for you to realize just how much he was savoring the sight of you being absolutely starstruck by his favorite flower. “it’s a rainbow rose. i’m giving it to you as a token of our camaraderie tonight.” 

“that’s too kind of you.” you say shyly to which he responds by nodding his head. “nonsense. here, let me just…” lyney gently takes the rose away from you as he places it inside of the open pocket of your attire. “there. it looks beautiful on you.” the man says with sincerity as he takes a step back and basks under the sight of you; a delicate rose, with his delicate rose. 

you feel warmth creeping up to your cheeks and think that maybe it’s just lyney’s vision trying to balance your temperature, but in reality, you were actually just starting to get really flustered by the man who stood before you. 

“cut it out.” you giggled as you rolled your eyes playfully. he chuckled in response and took a bow before taking off his top hat and placing it to his chest while the other hand rested behind his back. “traveler, that rainbow rose is of significance to me as it symbolizes love and passion in its’ purest form.” he starts off, eyes glimmering with curiosity as he warmly gives you a smile. “with that being said, i would like to invite you to tomorrow night’s show. i will be performing at the opera epiclese. your presence would truly honor my night.” 

the tension in the atmosphere almost made you believe that he was asking you out on a date, except you had to throw away those scandalous thoughts because you knew that none of those delusions were true. there was no way this was a date, he was going to perform in front of a huge wave of people after all. he just asked you to attend if you could. it’s not like he has an alternative motive anyway.

upon pondering seriously about his invitation, you signaled him a light nod that you’ll be able to make it, and this made his face light up. you were here to unwind for a bit, so why not enjoy a magic show by an attractive- uh, you mean, by a renowned magician? and besides, you were curious to see what he can do on stage. by the looks of it, he seems to know what he’s doing most of the time.

“so you’ll come??” stars have formed on his irises as the pitch of his voice goes slightly higher due to excitement. you find yourself giggling at his eagerness, to which he realizes that he was losing face so he clears his throat before smiling shyly. “yeah, sure. i’ll be there.”  your confirmation made him see stars that night indeed. he knew it was the right decision to give you the rainbow rose before asking you to attend his show. 

“just make sure you don’t perform a lousy disappearing act again.” you jokingly said while nudging his arm, which made him hum in response as he repositioned his top hat back on his head. 

“i’ll do something greater than that, ma chérie. just wait and see.” he says ecstasticly. “if you say so, magic man.” you laughed at his response. you thought little of his statements here, but who knew they would bear so much meaning as you connected the dots in the future?

“anyhow, as much as i hate to leave, i sadly have to disentangle myself from you tonight as i still have some preparations to make for tomorrow’s show. i’ll see you there at 8 pm sharp, traveller.” he says as he kisses your hand. “haha.  see you too, lyney.” you say in response.

And with that, the magician disappeared into the severance of the night as you stood still, star-struck by what just transpired before you.

“lyney huh…” paimon appeared out of nowhere and teased with a smug look on her face. you only gave her a deadpanned stare in response. “no.”

“but traveler!! he said it himself! the rainbow rose symbolizes love and passion!! what if he’d fallen for you?” paimon whined as she ushered the idea of lyney possibly developing an interest in you. “he also said that he mastered the art of deception or something. maybe he did that for lip service. you know, like how magicians put on a false mask to put on a show.” you rebutted as you rolled your eyes. “It’s not like he’s interested in me.”

“but what if he is?”

“...”

“traveler?”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...OH MY GOD WAIT IS IT THAT MAYBE YOU’RE THE ONE INTER-”

you laugh bitterly to yourself as you recall your first encounter with lyney. you remember it as clear as day—paimon teased you all night; from the walk to the elevator, to the ride on the aquabus, and to even your way towards hotel debora. she did not shut up at all. at first, she insisted that lyney had a crush on you, but after picking up on your reluctant responses to her questions in regards to the enigmatic ash-blonde, she ended up assuming that maybe it was you who got smitten by the young magician, not the other way around.

you denied every accusation she threw at you. you were just speechless, that was all. nothing more, nothing less. it was your first time ever to have been treated the way lyney treated you. you didn’t even know if you could call it flirting since he probably does this often.

but if he does it often, then that wouldn’t make you special.

no, this doesn’t bother you at all. he could give another girl a rainbow flower for all you care. 

“you are soooo in denial!~” paimon cooed. you had enough.

“JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME SLEEP FOR ARCHONS’ SAKE.” you yelled in annoyance as you stared at the pitch-black ceiling of the room you booked for the night. instead of feeling intimidated by your tone, paimon only giggled at your reaction.

you are not in denial. there’s no way the celestial gods would allow an outsider like you to fall in love with her children. you had set your priority straight; it’s to find your sibling and get them back—but then again, it’s been years. you’ve wandered endlessly on wide expansions of land, and have traversed multiple regions. you’ve helped people in their kingdom in hopes that your sibling would make themself known sooner or later, but only disappointment cascades over you as you gain little-to-no intel about where they could possibly be. 

you take a deep breath before letting out an exasperated sigh. 

‘get it together, snap out of it.’ you say to yourself as you try to rid traces of him from your mind. 

your mind then wanders to the night of the designated show. you arrived five minutes just before his performance started and to your pleasant surprise, the guard stated that your seat was to be found in the front row since you were one of the esteemed VIP guests, as requested by the great Lyney himself. you were touched by this gesture and thanked the guard for his hospitality. 

upon finding your seat, a series of spotlights have been angled to the center as the curtains slowly unveil a familiar silhouette who had a welcoming stance. he bowed to the audience as he introduced himself to the crowd. “welcome one, and all, to the opera epiclese! i am the star of today’s show, lyney!” he says with a proud stance as he enters the spotlight with open arms. “and over here is my sister, lynette, who will be working as my wonderful assistant. please, let’s give her a warm welcome!” lynette looked at the crowd with a blank but endearing stare. she bowed as her twin introduced her to the audience. they had strikingly similar features; had they swapped clothes, one could easily be fooled that one was the other. 

“now, some of you may be thinking: two vision holders who can freely manipulate elemental powers performing magic is not true magic at all.” he begins by catching the audience’s attention by using his pyro vision to mimic a fire-embued bow as lynette uses her anemo vision to mimic a bullseye. the arrow scorches through several wind currents before it hits the center of the target. the crowd clapped harmoniously in response. 

“so, i would like to take a moment to assure you that elemental powers will have nothing to do with what you will witness on the stage today.” he continues. as if on cue, one of their assistants came up to them to retrieve their visions. 

the lights grew dim as lynette was nowhere to be seen. 

“a magician’s greatest skill is making things disappear or appear; the possibilities are endless.” he starts as he takes off his top hat to bow courteously to the audience before throwing it up in mid-air and then catching it. he flipped over the hat to show everyone that there was nothing in it. he hums in contentment as he notices that all eyes are indeed, now on him. he now steps back and puts his hands off the hat. the people around you gasp in astonishment upon seeing the hat float by itself without any form of support to keep it still.

lyney lightly tapped it and sure enough, a few playing cards fell to the ground. there was a mixture of “ooh’s” and “ahh” in the crowd as he did this two more times. he chuckled to himself before pulling a new set of playing cards out of nowhere; making it disappear, then reappear, then disappear again. 

he then grabbed hold of his hat and attempted to put it back on his head, but for some reason, there was a stem firmly placed vertically inside the tophat. lyney acted clueless as to what was blocking his headway, only for him to pull out a rainbow rose.

you feel your breath hitch as he scans the trial room for a brief moment only for his gaze to be locked onto yours. a smile creeps onto his lips as he finally sees those captivating eyes of yours. 

with a snap of a finger, lyney shows the audience the rainbow rose he pulled out of his hat before making it vanish completely into thin air. the audience was too amazed to comprehend where the rose could possibly be until the spotlight shuns upon you as lyney gestured you to stand up which then revealed that the flower we thought, had disappeared—had reappeared tucked in between your hair as it rested on the outer lobe of your ear. 

the crowd squealed in excitement; others had already started spewing rumors about lyney conjuring up this show only so that he could express his adoration for you with that flower, but this could only be far from the truth. 

you could’ve sworn that this rose wasn’t there at all. you hadn’t picked any up on the way to the opera epiclese, nor have you brought with you the rainbow rose that he gave you last night.

how was he able to execute this? you wondered as your heart started beating. since you were flustered with all the attention garnering your way, you decided to sit down shyly. lyney was able to catch onto your body language which caused him to internally chuckle to himself due to the way you were acting.

you were so cute and shy, just for him.

“these little tricks? you’ve seen them all before.” he started as he segued to a different stance, “so it’s time for something truly extraordinary, don’t you think?” he asked the audience and everyone in the trial court seemed to be fully participating.

you were too, it’s just you’re too occupied with the unwavering beating of your chest.

the night went smoothly as he performed a truly extraordinary trick; he had prepared a water tank that was hoisted high up. the lynette who disappeared a little while ago was now inside the heavily locked water tank. the trick was basically to have lynette be able to break free from this near-death experience. the two of them succeeded with flying colors though, and this made the crowd go crazy for them. the only thing left in the tank was lynette’s clothes, but when she reappeared in front of the audience, she was dry, unscathed, and wore the same usual clothing, except with fewer wrinkles. they did a few more acts, and after the final trick, the curtains fell as the twins bid adieu, earning a standing ovation from everyone, including the hydro archon herself.

it was truly a sight to behold, and you enjoyed every bit of it. 

just as you were about to exit the premises, lynette came up to you and ushered you backstage as per lyney’s request yet again. you quietly obliged as she led you to the showman room where performers can touch up, get dressed, and get ready. 

why would lyney want to see you again? you pondered as you unconsciously twirled the loose strand of your hair as you were being led by lyney’s opposite.

“i’ve brought the traveler, lyney.” lynette said with a yawn as she opened the door, only to reveal a hopeful magician spinning on an office chair out of boredom. he stops almost immediately as lynette announces your not-so-grand entrance. “perfect! thank you, dear sister.” he grins as he jumps off of his seat to walk towards you. “now if you’ll excuse me, i’ll be taking a nap.” lynette said groggily before closing the door and leaving the two of you in the room.

“she’s leaving already?” you ask in a slightly dejected voice, feeling a bit disappointed that you weren’t able to befriend the interesting feline who looked exactly like her brother. 

“she’s been up all night diving with our younger brother, freminet. they were collecting some materials for the magic pockets that we distribute to people in the romaritime harbor.” he explained shyly as he adjusted one of his black gloves.

“i see…” you hum in approval as you look around the room. there was a black victorian coat rack next to the vanity mirror that had light bulbs bulging from the sides. the walls were painted with a light hue of white and brown; the contrasts gave depth to the ceiling which had a quite grandiose-looking chandelier. lyney could only watch as your eyes traveled the room with curiosity. 

“so, what did you call me here for?” you asked breaking the ice since he wasn’t stirring up a conversation as you thought he would. lyney gestured for you to sit on the couch to which you obliged, but you didn’t expect that he’d sit next to you despite having way more room on the other end. “i wanted to ask if you enjoyed the show tonight,” he says while fidgeting with his glove. it was rather odd to see someone as confident as him fidget in nervousness under your presence, but you didn’t think much of it. maybe he just got intimidated by you.

“of course i did, you two were amazing !! oh, and by the way, thank you so much for inviting me, let alone giving me a VIP seat. the show and the view was great.” you giggled as you recalled the chain of events that unravelled just a little while ago. the magician sighed in relief as he heard you excitedly talk about your favorite parts; he listened intently as you reinacted some of his tricks. you did poor attempts of course, but seeing how you really did love his performance warmed his heart. 

“do you like magic, traveler?” he asked while pouring you a cup of tea. “i do. my sibling and i used to stop over specific regions from different galaxies to witness all sorts of magic. well, that is until we got separated.” you mumbled out the last part as sadness lingered with your words. lyney handed you your cup and you bowed lightly as a way of saying thank you. “i’m sure you’ll find them soon, traveler.” lyney’s brows furrowed in sympathy as he looked at you with concern, his hand laying on top of yours to reassure your worries.

“i hope so.” you smiled sadly. “now, now, ma chérie. turn that frown upside down!” he says as he cups your cheeks with his gloved yet soft hands. “what do you think you’re doing.” you laughed as you looked at him in the eye. your cheeks formed a pinkish hue, and lyney was the first to notice it seeing as how he was teasing you like this. he chuckled as he leaned in close, “you’re too beautiful to be upset.” he whispered as he stared straight into your soul.

your eyes widened lightly in surprise upon hearing him compliment you. you’ve been called beautiful on several occasions, but why is it now when your heart decides to run laps? 

“i… i beg your pardon?” you stuttered as your voice lightly cracked from embarrassment. your cheeks grew a darker shade of red as lyney broke out a laugh as you weren’t able to deliver your words properly. “ma chérie, you’re just too cute.” he chuckled while holding back his tears. you tore yourself away from his grasp and pouted. “okay, now you’re just messing with me.” you huffed as you crossed your arms in discontentment. lyney teased you further by pinching your cheek, “oh come on, how could i not with these cute reactions of yours.” he cooed while mimicking your pouty face. 

you rolled your eyes and hit him playfully. “do you normally do this to people you meet on the outskirts of the harbor? is this a normal occurrence for you?” you asked absent-mindedly, not realizing what direction this conversation was headed. lyney blinked his eyes twice as if to process what you just said before smirking to himself. “no, i suppose this is a first for me.” he smiled cheekily as he leaned on the sofa, placing one of his elbows on the cushion as he rests his chin on his elbow, body completely facing you.

“and what about you? do you usually allow yourself to be reeled in by men you just met on the outskirts of the harbor as they make their advances towards you?” he asks continuously, which makes you arch your brow as he finishes his sentence. “no. this is a first for me too.” you say as you eye him cautiously. “wait so… does this mean that you’re flirting with me?” you tilted your head slightly to the side as you unconsciously leaned in. lyney noticed your body language, and he was amused as to where this was going. 

he, too, leaned in, but this time, to your ear. you feel his warm breath tickle your sensitive skin as he teases you, “i don’t know, am i?” you rolled your eyes at his childish retort before hitting him lightly on the arm. “lyney!” he only flashed you a sweet toothy grin as he inched a bit closer to you, but you scooted further back as he did so. 

“okay. fine, you got me ma chérie.” he chuckles as he put his hands up in the air in defeat. “let’s say that i am, in fact, flirting with you. what are you going to do about it?” he whispered close to you with a smug but suggestive look on his face. you begged to differ this time though, as you wanted to flip the table on him. with a smirk forming on the creases of your lip, you grabbed a hold of his cherry-colored bowtie as you lightly flatten the fabric. lyney’s breath hitches as you catch him by surprise. “you’ll have to do a better job than that if you want to find out, monsieur lyney.” 

let’s just say that things got heated and got slightly escalated ever since then. he became part of your daily routine. he always made sure to visit you in the afternoon whenever he was available. word had spread out that the renowned magician often spent his time with you more than with his own twin, lynette; to be fair, she didn’t mind at all. she preferred it this way. she thought it was refreshing to see her brother annoy someone other than her as she was worried that he would only depend on her company until archons knew when.

besides, she lowkey schemed with paimon to set you two up together anyway.

after your two-week break, lyney brought it upon himself to accompany you on your adventures. he would help you during your commissions and has been nothing but supportive throughout your journey. he even went as far as making you a top priority guest when you told him that you needed to speak with the hydro archon for any form of possible intel that you could gather. you heard that it was hard to request an audience to the furina, and you couldn’t thank lyney enough when he went the extra mile to get you closer to your goals. 

there wasn’t where the two of you wouldn’t be seen out on the streets of fontaine; you were inseparable. it’s not like the two of you were lovebirds who did PDA either, but from the locals’ perspective, all they see are two youthful souls—one is excessively trying to shower them with affection while the other is still in denial. you happened to be the latter. 

to be fair, the concept of love never really struck you. of all the years you’ve lived through since you were born, you only know of love from familial means or via forms of friendships. you never had the time for trivial matters. but for some unforeseen reason, this man, who gave you rainbow roses every day as a symbol of his affection for you, this man, who often extended his hand to you to hold on whenever you felt anxious, this man,  who jot down notes of what you like and dislike so that he’s reminded of how to please you, this man, who made sure to put your safety above his own even though he knows you could fully fend for yourself, this man, who didn’t even need to ask you what you’d order because he knew it at heart, was now ordering your go-to meal at café lucerne as you wait for him patiently under the shade. 

he expressed his adoration for you on several occasions, but you weren’t the type to assume things, so you merely brushed off some of his advances. a couple of months have passed since you first set foot on fontaine, and now you were having an afternoon snack session with ‘your partner in crime’.

you’d be lying if you said that you hadn’t fallen for the charming young man, but you were too scared to even explore that kind of field as you knew nothing compared to him. 

oh but was he gentle. he was patient with you even though he would get ahead of himself sometimes and overwhelm you with his overly affectionate personality. you knew you’d already fallen. you were just in denial. you thought that once you’ve explored fontaine enough, you would bid him farewell as you move on to the next region. part of you thought that maybe it was all just an act too; he did say that he mastered the art of deception—and yet, then again, who were you to even question his motives when he’s been nothing but sweet and supportive towards you?

that’s right. he would never do such a thing, would he? 

you glanced over at the male who was on his way to your table as he held the tray with your food, a smile plastered on his face. “i got you your favorite, my treat.” he smiled cheekily as he carried your order and placed it on your side of the table. “thank you,” you replied with a warm smile.

this man would never hurt me. you thought sincerely as you watched him cutely munch on his favorite snack-o-bites. “these turn out perfect no matter how many times they make this, i swear.” lyney groaned in delight as he ate his food. you couldn’t help but look at the young magician in front of you with loving eyes, as if you were put in a trance.

lyney, yet again, noticed how your eyes looked at him with so much warmth, with made him lightly blush. “take a picture, it lasts longer.” he teased to illicit a reaction out of you, but an idea erupted from your systems as if a light bulb had suddenly appeared out of no where. 

you rummaged through your belongings and sought out the kamera that you got from a wandering trader during previous expeditions. once you found it, you showed it to lyney and he almost spit out his food. “my..! a kamera!” he said in astonishment as he examined the mechanical object. “you’re right, taking a picture would last longer.” you say as you press a button, which automatically linked to the shutter. lyney was unprepared and he whined that you take another one, but you thought he looked cute in the candid photo that you took. 

he got his revenge by snatching the kamera away from you and taking candid photos of you too, except he didn’t show you the shots he took. he hid the pictures in his top hat and they disappeared to archon knows where. 

you spent more time with lyney that afternoon until the night was starting to fall. as usual, you expected to temporarily say goodbye to each other as you had other things to attend to during this hour, but lyney stopped you from your tracks by grabbing hold of your arm.

“wait.” he called out to you, which made you turn your head back to face him. “mhm?” you hummed as you looked at him with expecting eyes. lyney was fidgeting and he looked askance. it was almost as if he was itching to tell you something. “what is it, lyney?” you asked the ash blonde as you lay your hand on top of his, wondering what was going on in his mind right now as he avoided eye contact with you.

“lyney?” you called out to him for the umpteenth time, snapping him out of his trance, his attention now darted to you as he flashed you an apologetic smile. he hesitated for a bit to answer, until he finally responded, “it’s nothing, ma chérie. i apologize, i just stalled for a bit because i wanted to see your face one more time before you go.” he said in his usual ecstatic tone, but something about it put you off. was it the way he adjusted his glove? he usually does this whenever he’s nervous about something. you were about to ask him about it until you saw his twin walking towards you.

“lyney. let’s go.” lynette alerted the magician as she tapped him lighty on his back, which startled lyney. “lynette–! don’t startle me like that…” lyney sighed as he rubbed the back of his palm. lynette peaked over his shoulder and tipped her head forward to you as a form of greeting, “traveler.”

“lynette, good evening.” you smiled at the girl. lynette nods in acknowledgement before side-eying her twin sibling. he looks back at her and squints his eyes with a frown, earning a furrowed and confused look from lynette. lyney bit his lower lip due to impatience which made his sister sigh.

you had no idea what they were doing but you only guessed that they were telepathically communicating with one another. 

“are you two doing good?” you took a step forward and looked at the twins with worry. Lynette looked at you for a good two seconds before speaking up, “traveler, listen–” she was cut off immediately by lyney, who oh-so-dramatically looked at the clock before exclaiming “oh would you look at the time, we are running late lynette!! we must hurry!!!” he yelled in a panicked frenzy as he packed up his bags before running to who knows where. lynette could only play along with her sibling as she waved you goodbye. “apologies, traveler. we have urgent matters to attend to.” she bowed before turning her heel and running after her brother.

“...what was that about?” you mumbled to yourself, feeling a lump of uneasiness form internally. you could only watch the siblings run off into the distance; the farther they got, the harder it was to spot them as their figures turned into dots.

something about this felt wrong.

something about this felt really wrong.

although lyney had offered to lend you a helping hand on your adventures, you can’t help but notice how there would be times when he’d zone out. he would stare intently at an inanimate object, his eyes clouded with an unexplainable expression. whenever you try calling him out, he snaps out of it as if he wasn’t disassociating a few minutes ago. 

you loved spending time with him, but oftentimes you felt as if he was wearing a mask. he would never tell you what troubled him even though you, yourself have been vulnerable in front of him on several occasions. you’ve already talked so much about yourself only to realize that lyney hadn’t shared any of his past with you either. he only listened to your stories.

this realization made a wave of guilt wash over you—you didn’t want to seem like you didn’t care about him at all—so you tried asking about him too whenever you got the chance to. with no luck, you got nothing out of him. indeed, he answered your questions, but it was too vague. it’s like he was hiding something a whole lot more the more you pry into his life. 

you couldn’t fully understand the magician. he would always put up a high-spirited front with that exhilarating personality of his, and yet something about his unwavering happy-go-lucky personality grew wary of what the ash blonde was really thinking from time to time. 

unlike his sister, he was evasive when it came to personal questions. lynette was the blunt and honest type, but for some reason, lyney’s so-called ‘honesty’ felt as if it was laced with a heavy lot of sugarcoating. he hasn’t done anything wrong to upset you. in fact, he seemed like the perfect candidate for a love interest had you ever even thought about entering a relationship with him. and yet here you are, left alone in the pouring rain after lyney left you abruptly for unknown circumstances. 

lyney was accompanying you during a commission sent by navia, the spina di rosula president, and things were going well. all you had to do was find clues in regard to the innocence of callas, the late founder of the organization. just as you were about to head back to their headquarters to retrieve and report the data you’ve gathered, lyney abruptly excused himself and left the scene. 

you had no idea what came over the young man, but you only assumed that he had other urgent matters to attend to. he has already done more than enough to help you, after all. so who were you to stop him from leaving?

even still, ithe way he left was rather off-putting. during your way back, you noticed that he felt out of reach; he zoned out often and looked restless. you have no clue as to what triggered him into this state—you asked if he was doing alright, but he only smiled in response and gave you a false thumbs up so you could stop worrying about him. 

you couldn’t recall the first time he started acting distant despite being so close to you. but one thing you knew for sure was that he had a couple of failed attempts into telling you something only for him to change his mind and change the topic immediately. 

you and your deluded self thought that maybe he was trying to confess to you, but you weren’t dumb enough to know that this situation couldn’t be applied to the way he was acting toward you. lyney sure did act head over heels for you, and you admit, you were smitten by the young man who often performed magic shows in the opera epiclese, but you just couldn’t shake the feeling of uneasiness as you talk to him sometimes.

being with him is like painting on a blank canvas with a transparent medium. you see so much room for endless possibilities, and your imagination envisions all kinds of art forms that you could interpret onto the canvas. you stroke your brushes to create the perfect picture you’ve idealized but then, you come to a realization that none of the strokes you’ve made were rendered. you shrug the idea off, thinking that this isn’t a big deal, so you try again. the result remains the same. no matter how much you paint, nothing blooms out of the canvas, and yet it still stands proudly in all its glory. you try dipping your brush in vibrant colors, but no matter what you do, nothing slips through the seams of his never-ending depth of hollowness.

there were times when he’d be hot, but then he’d grow cold. he’d shower you with warmth one day only to leave you questioning what you’ve possibly done wrong the next as he acts indifferent. you were starting to get bothered by this, and you wanted to confront him if he continued this further because your mind was going all around the place.

is this what it’s like to fall in love? you were a traveler. an outsider, even. you had to embrace different cultures and embark on journeys with unfamiliar faces everywhere. you, too, were scared, but you had no choice but to plow through just so you could see your sibling again. never in a million years did you imagine yourself being so…caught up over a man.

without even noticing it, your mood depended on his. lyney was like a firework; he was so beautiful and yet so out of reach. no matter how much warmth he showers your way, no matter how much color he brings into your life, he will remain distant despite being so out in the open. the closer you try to get, the more you get burnt with the reality of his facade. 

everything about him bothered you; the way his lips curled into a smile, the way his eyes sparkled with passion every time he performed his magic shows, the way his laughter sounded like symphonies resonating in an orchestra, the way he treated you gently and cares greatly for his people, the way he made it known to the crowd that you were his rainbow rose, the way he touched you gently with his soft and meticulous hands as he dived into your soul with his hypnotizing eyes… 

fuck. 

you were no longer in denial. 

you adored lyney. you liked everything about lyney. you longed to see him again, you longed to be within his vicinity once more. only he was able to break your walls and make you spiral like this.

was this why your heart felt so restless every time you were separated from each other? the last time you felt this way was the day you washed up ashore in mondstat with your sibling nowhere in sight. ‘that explains a lot…’ you sigh to yourself as you feel your heart breathe in relief as you finally admit to yourself the feelings that you kept hidden for so long. 

you brushed aside the worries that crept onto you earlier. ‘there’s no need to be negative, maybe he’s not ready to say what’s on his mind yet’. that’s right. you shouldn’t rush him into opening up. being there for him is the least that you could do for him, so you figured to be more patient and supportive towards him. 

you could only hope that your sincerity would reach him.

a few days have passed since you last encountered lyney at café lucerne. your days at fontaine were coming to a halt soon as you needed to depart to your next destination; natlan. you’ve stayed in fontaine for almost a year, and you hadn’t noticed how quickly time was passing by. it was all thanks to that young magician who made your stay here worthwhile though. 

you’ve gained a sufficient amount of intel. luckily enough, the hydro archon was accommodating to your inquiries. the abyss seemed to have a strong chokehold on your sibling though, as deinsleif reappeared to venture with you in one of your adventures to unveil the secrets of the prophecy that lay within fontaine. 

the grind never stops—or so paimon says.

you were scheduled to leave a few days from now, as requested by katheryn. you were in love with lyney—to which you can finally admit to yourself proudly—but this wouldn’t stop you from finishing what you’ve started. you’ve rested long and well enough, as well as succumbed to your hidden desires. it was time to move to the next region.

you already told the twins about the date of your departure, and they wished for your safety. lyney still looked restless. he looked even more restless than the last time you’ve seen him to be honest. he asked lynette to leave the room for a bit so he could talk to you alone in the meantime.

he had a frown on his face but you only smiled meekly at him, reasoning that you’re a traveler for a reason and that you shouldn’t overstay. he knew this all along but asked for one condition. 

“can we meet up one more time before you go? just you and i, and maybe even lynette, with no one else intervening,” he asked with pleading eyes as he trailed his finger on your hands gently. you shivered from his touch. 

“of course, where would you like to rendezvous?” he chuckled at your terminology. “at the usual spot. 7 pm sharp.” you smiled before holding out your pinky promise, mimicking paimon’s actions the day before you departed for fontaine. “deal.” he smiled back and intertwined his pinky with yours. 

“i’ll give you a show that you’ll never forget even as you go on your adventures in far and distant lands. you won’t have a choice other than to think about me.” he determinedly states as he locks his violet hues with your crystalline orbs. you laugh at his sentiments, unbeknownst to the weight that his words hold.

“i swear to archons lyney, if you perform one more lousy disappearance act,” you teased as you let out a melodic laugh. lyney scoffed playfully before responding, “that wasn’t even considered as an act! i can do something way better than that.” you raise one of your brows, intrigued by his statement. “oh yeah? like what?” you mused, crossing your arms as your body unconsciously leaned forward toward him. 

lyney gives you an unreadable look before he quickly snaps out of his daze and shakes his head lightly. he faintly smiled before saying, “you’ll see.”

some time has passed, and it was already the night of your supposed meet-up. the day that followed would be the day when you bid adieu to fontaine. 

you pushed through the grand entrance of the opera eclipse; it was the usual spot. the very spot where you first felt your heart yearn for lyney, and the very place where you had your first kiss stolen.

you came alone as requested. paimon stayed behind at the hotel to catch some z’s before your long journey tomorrow. 

oddly enough though, a different guard asked for your identity for security. he wore the standard protocol uniform, but it was an unfamiliar face—barely recognizable. he wore a black-feathered mask that covered the tip of his nose, almost like the kinds you’d see at masquerade balls. lyney did mention that this night would be different from his previous shows.

“you must be the traveler, come in. your seat is on the front row, right in the dead center.” he said in a low but welcoming voice. you tipped your head as a way of showing your thanks as he led you to your seat. the lights were dimmer than what you were accustomed to. what caught your attention more though was the fact that everyone in the theatre wore the same mask as the security guard. there were only a few people including you, but they were scattered throughout the area. they all had their attention focused on the stage.

weird. maybe this was part of the show.you start growing anxious as to what kind of show that sly magician would perform today. the last time he asked you to come here alone led to a steamy makeout session in the middle of the stage with the spotlight centered on the two of you. just the two of you, with your lips on his. you had no idea how he was able to keep people from entering, but he reasoned that he needed to occupy the area on his own to make safety measures for his “equipment”, but all he did was savor you and your sweetness.

you shake your head lightly at the memory, your cheeks turn a bright red. 

your heart starts pounding with every second that passed. the show still hadn’t started yet as the curtains blocked the view of the main stage, but you really couldn’t help but wonder what lyney had prepared for you today. 

was he finally going to confess? maybe even ask you to be his? could it be that he orchestrated this show only as an excuse to take you by the hand and court you properly before you depart for tomorrow?

your lips unconsciously curl into a smile as you daydream about the what-ifs in your head. it was cut off shortly though by a familiar voice you heard from the loudspeaker as it reverberated in the room.

“once upon a time, there was once a blonde traveler who traversed through teyvat for what seemed like decades in hopes to find their long lost sibling.” lyney began with a story-telling tone laced with his voice. your ears immediately perk up at his narration. a bright light shone upon the stage which revealed shadow puppets of you and paimon’s figure wandering around the globe to match his lines. you marveled at the sight.

“but after region hopping for so long, the blonde traveler decides to rest in the land of justice where they meet a peculiar magician who accidentally bumped into them by the harbor.” the shadow puppets reinacted your first encounter with each other, which made you giggle in response. 

is this how he’s going to confess to me? you wondered amusingly, feeling touched by his efforts as you listened further to his dialogue.

“the magician noticed the traveler trying to hide their identity, and he used this to his advantage to tease them. the traveler, now shocked, asked him in a state of panic how he found out. he laughed in response and pointed out that their hood slipped off, and that he could easily recognize them, even from afar.” the shadow puppets played the same exact scenario and waited for the next signal.

“he then invited them to watch his show at the opera theatre. little did the blonde traveler know what they had in store for them.” you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion with the last sentence, curious as to where this was going.

“he fell for their wits, and was charmed by their unwavering bravery. even as they brushed his advances off, he never stopped doting on them.” he was practically confessing at this point, and you felt your cheeks grow warm.

“the magician performed all sorts of tricks; making things appear and disappear was an easy task for him as he excelled in this expertise,” as if on cue, the curtain slowly unveils lyney’s figure with a microphone in hand. he took a deep breath as he locks eye contact with you before continuing, “but the only thing that he cant get to disappear is the thought of you.” 

your eyes widened as you behold the sight in front of you. lyney wasn’t wearing his usual attire, he was wearing a black tuxedo suit. his red bowtie was still evident, but his noticeable top hat and cape were nowhere in sight. he was breathtaking. 

“he fell in love with the traveler for each day that passed by, and he could tell that the traveler was starting to develop feelings for him too.” he extended his arms and got a pair of scissors, his swift hands gracefully cutting over the edges of the folded paper which then revealed the two of their silhouettes dancing with your arms around him. 

you recall when that event happened. it was during that one time you visited the siblings in their home but only lyney was home despite lynette calling you over for dinner. you figured that they must’ve schemed this because lyney didn’t question nor look for them as you arrived, you only spent the night dancing to some tunes and learning more about each other.

“everything was going all according to plan,” he paused for a bit as he took out the same exact mask that everyone was wearing from his pocket. “until he got sick of playing pretend.” his intonation changed from an exhilarating tone to a monotonous underglow. it was heavy and merciful. “true to his word, he did perform something even greater than a lousy disappearance act.” he scoffed before continuing, “in fact, it was all premeditated. all the traveler had to do was wait and see, just as he said.”

“just make sure you don’t perform a lousy disappearing act again.” you jokingly said while nudging his arm, which made him hum in response, his eyes glowered as he repositioned his top hat back on his head. 

“i’ll do something greater than that, ma chérie. just wait and see.” 

your smile fell as you recalled his words. from the looks of it, the atmosphere had a thick tension that made you uneasy. his words contradicted the way he behaved around you previously. for some reason, you didn’t feel safe here. your gut was telling you to leave, that something bad was about to happen if you’d stayed and listened longer, but your feet remained in place as you watched the performer in front of you, still at a loss for words as the weight of the air suffocated you.

“i can see that look on your face. you’re confused—terrified, even.” he trails off as he takes a glance at your disheveled state before chuckling darkly. “so let me clarify everything before the actual play begins.” he flashes you a close-eyed smile before placing one hand to his chest and the other is extended as he bows down to you in a curtsey.

“lyney…” you called out to him, barely above a whisper. you tried to get up from your seat to reach out to him, but you were abruptly stopped by the impact of your wrists being bound to the arms of the chair. “lyney, this isn’t funny. cut it out.” you say as you break out an awkward laugh, trying to break free from the cuffs that binded you from your freedom. 

you heard minor scuffles around you which made you turn your head to see where it was coming from. the sight made you widen your eyes; the few people in the opera house was now lined up in two columns by the main door. “lyney, you’re scaring me. what’s going on??” you asked the ash blonde. he doesn’t even bother to spare you a look as he remains still in his curtsey pose.

“lyney!!” you yelled out. this must be a silly prank, right? there’s no reason for him to scare you like this…right??? right. this was just part of the show. none of this is real. none of this is real. none of this is real. none of this is re-

“ma chérie.” lyney spoke with authority in his voice before finally shifting his gaze towards you. his eyes were slit that of a feline as he hushed you with his presence. he sighed as he finally stood upright, fixing the collar of his suit in the process as he spoke, “i was tasked by father to approach you. he told me to get close to you by using any means necessary and find out your weaknesses. do not get me wrong, i enjoyed our adventures. I enjoyed having you keep me company as well.” 

“but what i haven’t told you the first time we met was that i, too, have hid my true identity from you. allow me to introduce myself again. i, lyney from the house of the hearth, humbly greets you.”

your eyes looked at him in horror as the image you carefully crafted of him your head shattered. your heart ached at the deception he conjured for you. “you’re a fatui…?” your voice croaked in disbelief as you desperately searched his eyes for the truth. your mind wavered as you clung onto your delusions, hoping deep down inside that this was all just a skit, but his silence spoke volumes.

“so everything was a lie…?” tears brimmed from your eyes as you looked at the man whom you loved with so much heartbreak. he bit his lip in contempt as he saw you in that state. lynette then emerged from the shadows and gave her twin sibling a pat on his back before he faced away from you. he couldn’t see you cry, it would weaken his resolve.

“not everything, traveler.” lynette spoke on behalf of her sibling. she, too, wasn’t wearing her usual attire. she had her hair down and her ribbon was placed neatly on one side of her head. she was wearing a beautiful black dress that reached just below her knee and she was also wearing the same exact mask that lyney was wearing.

“this idiotic brother of mine took the words by any means necessary quite too literally. he was not supposed to be intimate towards you. father graciously forbid him from overstepping his boundaries.” lynette deadpanned as she glanced at her brother. he was trying so hard to keep up a front; he was slightly trembling, but only lynette can tell. “he fell for you gradually even though he was the one who initiated everything. believe me when i say that all of his efforts for you were sincere.” lynette says firmly as she places her right hand in her chest. it was a mannerism that she often did whenever she was being honest, but you could only scoff at her words.

“that doesn’t change the fact that you two deceived me!!” you yelled in protest as you struggled to break free from the binds that kept you tied down the chair. “had i known you were part of the fatui, i would’ve never allowed myself to have my life here in fontaine revolve around you two!” you yelled angrily as tears rolled down your cheeks,  “had i known you were part o the fatui, i would’ve never allowed myself to be held by you…!” you continued. your words shot daggers into lyney’s heart as it ached as much as yours did. 

“ma chérie, i apologize for making you second-guess about everything. i had no choice but to do this. father was getting impatient, and this is my only way of repaying him back after everything he’s done for lynette and i.” he admitted, finally facing you. as if his deception didn’t hurt enough, his cold gaze towards you seemed to hurt more ten times fold. 

“If that was the case, then why did you have to make me fall for you…?” your voice weakened as tears profusely streamed down your cheeks. lynette was taken aback by your emotional demeanor. she was an observant but quiet person, so she knew just as much as her brother knew that you weren’t the type to pour your emotions out like this. she felt a pang of guilt through her chest as she side-eyed her twin sibling. he was holding back his tears as well, but he didn’t falter.

“if keeping an eye on me to find out my weaknesses was all that you were tasked to do, why did you have to make me like you so much that it hurt???” you exclaimed as you sniffled. this really wasn’t your look. you hated how you were pouring your heart out to the twins who had ulterior motives towards you all along, but you couldn’t help it. you were hurt, you felt betrayed, and more importantly, you felt conflicted with yourself. you were spiraling internally as flashbacks of him and you played like a broken record. 

you looked at lyney for a brief moment, still hoping he’d take back everything he said just now. you still clinged on so tightly to what you thought he was rather than focusing on who he really was right now as he stood before you. 

lyney let out a sigh as he bowed down, “i have no excuses. I apologize, ma chérie.”  you scoff as you feel yourself getting irritated by his response. “don’t call me by that endearment anymore.” you whimpered as you lay your head on the headrest, feeling defeated. 

that’s it?... you’re not going to say anything else?! you let out a breath of disbelief. your eyes filled with tears, your body carrying the weight of the sorrows of your heartbreak. 

this hurts. oh lord barbatos, please, i can’t do this anymore. how can the blissful feelings of love do a 180 and pierce you with no remorse after you’ve committed to the feeling? please rid me of this unwanted emotion, it hurts. why did it have to end up like this? have i softened too much to have my guard lowered down to this extent? why must i bear the consequences of heartbreak when i’ve been the one who’s peace has been threatened…?

you were speechless. you hated this. you can’t believe that you allowed yourself to be caught by the fatui all because you lowered your guard down and fell in love. this was absurd. you can’t even find the energy to fight off these restraints that held you down because your energy has depleted. it's as if he sucked out the life force remaining in you out of you.

upon seeing your quiet state, lyney called out to you with a worried tone as he took a step and reached out to you as he spoke, “ma chérie, i-” “i hate you. don’t you dare call me by that stupid endearment ever again.” you bitterly spoke, avoiding to look him in the eyes. “i apologize, i was supposed to tell you everything soon but-” “so that explains why you kept zoning out before…” you say in deep thought, feeling a wave of emotions flow into your system.

“yes, please believe me, i wanted to come clean, but i feared you would avoid me if i did and i got scared. i-” “you had so many chances to tell me. had you told me sooner, i would’ve understood you better. but no, you just had to put on a fake play for me to witness.” 

“i’ll give you a show that you’ll never forget even as you go on your adventures in far and distant lands. you won’t have a choice other than to think about me.” he determinedly states as he locks his violet hues with your crystalline orbs. 

“so this is what you meant by giving me a show i’ll never forget, huh?” you laugh dryly with venom trailing behind your words. 

“traveler…” lyney reaches out to you once again to try and reconcile but he stops midway as he sensed a threat coming towards their way. 

“GUARDS!! SEIZE THOSE PREPOSTOROUS TWINS IMMEDIATELY!” the hydro archon barges in and yells with an army of policemen. they quickly cuff the false crowd as they enter. you sigh in relief upon seeing paimon flying beside furina as she searches for you in the room. “over there furina, the traveler is seated in front!!” paimon exclaims as she points to you, they immediately rush over to where you are. 

you look back on stage to give one more glance at the twins but just as how they were clever magicians, they were gone before you knew it. 

paimon and furina quickly rush over to you. “traveler!! are you alright?” paimon worriedly says as she hugs you. you meekly shake your head as tears are still spewing from your eyes. Furina looks over your broken-down state and notices the shackles that bind you. “let me help you with that.” furina says as she uses her vision to break you free. “th..ank you” you whisper softly, chest heaving from the hurt.

“you poor thing… we’re sorry we hadn’t come sooner.” furina embraces you into a hug and pats your back before continuing, “those phonies ran away before we could catch them!! this is so infuriating!!” paimon stomped her feet in the air as she brushed the loose strands of your hair. 

“how did you two know i was in danger…?” you sniffed as you touched the light bruise marks on your wrists. “freminet told us everything. he’s now being held under my protection from the fatui.” furina says as she lifts you up from your chair. “so even he knew about this…?” you say in disbelief, heart weighing even more burden than it already did.

“it’s a good thing they didn’t take you away yet. their ‘father’ or rather, a high-ranked harbinger was supposed to walk down that door to take you to archon knows where but lyney hadn’t given her the signal yet. she’s still here somewhere, we just don’t know where.” furina explained. “what?” you furrowed your brows in confusion. 

he had so many opportunities to send that go signal, and yet why didn’t he? you were lost in thought as you thought of possible reasons as to why he didn’t call his “father” as soon as he got you distracted. but as your mind was going around in laps, a voice erupted.

“pardon me, i think this is for you.” one of the guards excused himself as he stood by furina and handed you an envelope. you opened it and saw the card had the silhouette of you and lyney dancing together on the main cover—it was the same one he cut out earlier on stage, except there was a queen of hearts logo on the opposite sides. you felt your heart ache as you flipped the other side to see his small writing. 

“to my dear chérie, i’ve wronged you in many ways and left you with so many questions. indeed, our encounter was not fate but was strings pulled together to make whatever we had happen. i am no innocent man, but i’ve never shed blood other than mine. would you forgive this poor soul of mine for deceiving you? a magician i am, but at the end of the day, im just lyney; the same lyney who hand-picked rainbow roses just because it reminded him of you.

i grew tired of playing pretend. i fessed up to father how i could no longer carry out the mission as i knew i would only hurt you deeply—it hurts me too that i have to do this to you. father wasn’t pleased with this. he demanded that i cut off ties with you immediately after seeing my weakness becoming your entirety. believe me, i’ve always wanted to tell you the truth, but how could i after seeing that bright smile of yours? how could i shatter the excitement in your eyes as you looked at me oh so lovingly? you were too good for this world, and i wouldn’t want to be the cause of your tears; even now as i write this, my heart aches at just the thought of you trembling once you find out that i’ve conned you into winning your heart.

i understand that you no longer wish to see me again after i’ve wore countless of masks to hide my true intentions to you for every minute we spent together, but just know this, mon amour. 

te rencontrer a été le meilleur miracle qui soit jamais arrivé dans ma vie. j'avais l'habitude de regarder les roses arc-en-ciel de loin, admirant la beauté de tout cela, jusqu'à ce que tu descendes du ciel et apportes de la couleur à ma toile vierge. les roses arc-en-ciel ne pouvaient plus se comparer à votre beauté irisée. même le soleil devient jaloux de votre rayonnement. je t'aime et je t'aimerai toujours.

let your tears no longer cascade on that delicate skin of yours. when our paths cross once more and if destiny allows me to, i’ll tell you everything you’ve always wanted to know. at the usual spot, from years on end.

until we meet again, ma chérie.”

lyney was truly a magician at best; he disappeared into the seams of the night and left no traces of him behind as you grieve for his absence and sins. you often joked around at how he shouldn’t do a lousy disappearance trick the next time that he performs in the opera epiclese, but it seems as though he took those words to his grave as he proved that he can commit to greater feats. 

and that feat involved having you rid of him from your life. 

[writefightandflightclub]

Shadow of a doubt:

Fem!Reader x the Moon Knight System🌙 (Marc Spector 😍, Steven Grant 🥰, Jake Lockley 😘.)

Summary:

Marc was first.

Steven was second.

Khonshu’s never going to love you.

…And you’re wondering if Jake will ever get there at all.

Author’s note: not sure about posting this (bc excuses + caveats) but doing it anyway! 🤡 This is me playing around whilst not working on my main WIPs 🙄 So, please have my questionable headcanons! And my first attempt at Jake!

Author’s note 2: Marc Spector 🥰

Genre: An angsty, meandering relationship retrospective (how reader came to be involved with each of: Marc, Steven, Jake, and how their relationship with each alter differs / developed). Vague character study of sorts (and Jake characterisation is based on less than nothing). Some fluff. Some hurt / comfort. Some smut but it’s not a smut piece and it’s not hugely explicit.

Rating: 18+ ONLY. Adult themes. Minors DNI.

Warnings: angst I guess? Fear of abandonment / rejection themes (and you don’t even need to squint for that one). Canon typical allusions to trauma (not explicit, not a major theme). Sexual themes but largely not explicit and not the core focus. Questionable headcanons. Out of character everyone, maybe? Typos. Unrequited love(?). Alcohol mentions. Food mentions. Some shitty comments about Marc by reader’s friend which are immediately and directly refuted in the text and by reader (and me!); however warning as their ignorance can be taken as ableist (upfront and not a key theme).

GIF from this glorious set by @nowritingonthewall

Marc was first.

First to notice you. First to fall in love. First to be all in.

Your friends told you plainly that they didn’t like him at first. Warned you off him, in fact, with all manner of ignorant assumptions. They said he was closed off. Unreliable. “Shifty”; the guy with the dark past, never looking anyone in the eye for too long. “Rude”, because he didn’t make small talk at parties.

They even said, upon their first occassion meeting him, that he “sucked all the air out of the room”.

You didn’t have a damn clue what they were talking about, however.

When you had first seen Marc, you had felt like you could finally breathe.

Eventually, you got rid of those friends in favour of much better ones; but you kept him.

Marc was a keeper.

You had come to know him. To understand that whilst he may have a closed off face, he has the most open of hearts. That whilst he might not look everyone in the eye, when he looks at you his eyes are full of love. That although he might not always talk small, he says all the big things when he’s alone with you.

All the right things. All the things that matter.

There was that time Marc had turned to you on your mates’ doorstep, and had whispered in a thick Chicagoan accent that he wished Khonshu’s armour could protect him from parties. You had simply kissed him on the cheek and told him - without a second thought - that you would protect him.

“Always. From everything. Fuck that Sesame Street reject, Marc. I’m the only bird you need on your arm tonight.”

He had turned then, with a lopsided smile to twin with yours, and he had told you the biggest thing of all.

“I love you.”

You had waited patiently for his words. You had waited to hear aloud what you had already learned to be true through the language of his hands and his lips and his body. Through his gestures and actions.

It was worth the wait.

He was worth the wait.

You had learned so much about him already.

The big things.

That he was scared, and that he was brave.

His fears and doubts, and the things he still had faith in.

The things he couldn’t trust yet, but wanted to.

And, the small things which seemed huge too.

The way he liked to bury his head in the crook of your neck before he slept, his eyelashes kissing your skin. 

The way he knew the Latin name for almost every flower in Kew Gardens.

The way he became over invested in finding the perfect jacket, doing an excited little bounce when he finally walked out of the changing room in one that felt good - then bought two.

How feeling smoothness beneath his touch - of leaves or a polished stone or your silk nightdress could make the tension melt from his body.

The way he’d looked like you’d just given him the world when you’d surprised him with a bunch of slightly sorry supermarket flowers you hadn’t been able to resist.

The way he had cried, curled around your lap and face buried in your thighs, because he didn’t know - until Steven - and didn’t truly believe - until you - that love could be gentle.

“What is it?” you had asked him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he had replied as his tears fell. “For the first time that I remember. Nothing.”

You had learned all of this about Marc.

And now, you had learned that he was yours.

And so, when he had wordlessly gripped your hand in his - as you stood too agape to say it back - you decided then that you never wanted to let him go.

***

Steven came second.

Came to you more slowly.

Marc’s hands had arrived at you first, before his words had. Before he could trust you to speak his truths to you, and his words had followed later.

There was plenty to talk about.

Marc had told you about Steven.

Had spoken about him like a brother.

Had asked if you wanted to meet him.

You did - of course.

It had gone well.

Steven was as easy to love as Marc was.

“Wow, bloody hell. Marc is a blooming idiot. Why on Earth would he give me the body when he’s here with someone so beautiful? Oh God. Sorry, yeah? I didn’t mean to be creepy or anything. Let’s start again, shall we? Hiya! I’m Steven. Lovely to meet you, finally. Heard a lot about you. From Marc. Obviously.”

By the time you had spoken your first words to him, you had already been smiling, and only partly in relief.

Steven’s words were there from the beginning, yes. Treasures - not hidden in tombs like Marc’s, requiring excavation; but on display for you on plinths and in glass cabinets.

Steven had nothing to hide from you.

Was nothing if not honest.

Steven had little to hide from anyone.

His hands came later - and his lips - but first; his words were abundant.

Steven talked and you listened.

You loved to listen.

You loved to listen when he spoke to the topics he was most knowledgable about. When you asked an offhand question about one of his books or documentaries and he would pause for 15 minutes to give you every detail, his face lit with passion. You loved how intelligent and enthusiastic he was.

You had learned so much from him, and along the way you learned about him too.

You’d learned about his moral code, and how his courage was unwavering in standing up for himself and others.

You’d learned that he liked to keep his hands busy.

That he wore his emotions on his sleeve.

You’d learned how he was lonely, like you.

How he had been for a long time.

It had not been long at all before you had begun to think about it - about kissing Steven too.

“Look. Shortcake. I already know you want to kiss him,” Marc had told you one evening as you had prepared dinner together. His face had been taut, and tension had made your body rigid too as you realised he was wise to your desires.

“A-Are you angry?”

He had smoothed his hand lovingly along your arm. Sometimes it was hard to tell what he was thinking or feeling, when his expression didn’t give much away. “No. I’m not mad, I just… I don’t think he knows. You might have to be a little more obvious.”

After that, you had talked about the possibility with Marc - of having something with Steven. Whether it could work. Whether he might grow jealous. That it wouldn’t mean you loved him any less. How you could never love him less; only more and more.

“Does he… want to do that too? To kiss me?” You hadn’t been sure why your voice was faltering.

“Uh. I’ll take a wild stab that: yeah.” A smile had radiated from the corner’s of Marc’s eyes. “He won’t shut up about you.”

You couldn’t even try to hide the fact that made you feel giddy. A swallow had trailed down your throat. Your hands had grown clammy where they rested against Marc’s forearms. “Is… is Steven here? Now?”

Marc had cast a sidelong glance, looking at his own abstract reflection in the shined saucepan he’d just stacked back on the shelf.

“Oh, buddy, don’t worry,” Marc had reassured his reflection. “You’re getting the body. Just let me do one thing first, huh?”

Marc had crossed to you ever so slowly, deliberately, the softest, most delicate smile gracing his features. He had cupped your face in his warm, sure hands, and had planted the tenderest goodnight kiss on your mouth. Then, he had shuffled forward, his breath against the shell of your ear as he whispered a secret to you. “Suck him off and he’ll lose his shit. Fella’s asked a lotta questions about the mouth stuff.” He had dipped back to your mouth - just in time to kiss the curl of your smile as you had succumbed to a gentle, surprised laugh.

“Alright,” you had smirked. “That could work.”

“Do a good job with it, honey,” Marc had teased.

“Why? Because you’ll be watching?“

He had slipped his tongue hungrily into your mouth. “No. This is all for him. But I want to hear about it later.”

You had rested your palms against his chest, a bedding heat sinking through you, but a less pleasant weight settling on your chest at the thought of Marc no longer fronting. “Come back to me. Okay?”

His smile was as soft and warm as melting butter. “Copy that.”

He had delved to kiss you again, and this time you felt a change. You felt his lips stop moving against yours, his hands dropping limply to his sides. Instead of Marc’s eager tongue, you felt a humming noise tickling your lips - alongside the press of a far more chaste kiss.

“Mmm. Hi, Steven,” you had said, stealing the breath from his mouth.

You had felt his warm lips make the shape of the words against your own. “Hmm. Hiya,” he had said, almost drunkenly.

You had dipped back from him then to find him slightly slack-jawed, his eyes fluttered closed and those long lashes fanned dreamily towards his cheeks. A flushed colour creeping from his neck to his face like blooming roses climbing up and up a trellis.

“You okay, Steven?”

Flowers settled on his cheeks, he had wrapped his arms around your waist, his hands fisting securely into your soft cardigan, idly massaging the textures. “Bloody hell, I think I’m going to keel over or sumfink.” He had opened his eyes, a slow, dazed blink like waking from a good dream. “Sorry about him, yeah? Marc. The mouth stuff, I mean. Obviously… he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, yeah? Just ignore him.”

“He doesn’t?”

Steven’s droopy, happy gaze lingered on your mouth. “Not usually.”

You had grazed your fingers along Steven’s lapel. Actually pouted as your fingers trailed over his chest and stomach, and down to the belt at his waist. “Shall we stop then, Steven? No more mouth stuff?”

“Stop? Oh god, no!” There was a beat. Then, Steven had waved his hands in the air n surrender. “I mean, unless you want to stop, yeah? Coz then obviously we’d stop. I’m not trying to be creepy or-“

You had kissed him again.

Deeper.

He kissed you back, a small moan blooming in the cave of your mouth - flowers in the dark.

When you had pulled away he was all flushed; but still, his words were there, reliable as ever “You’re so perfect. Completely lovely. Proper stunning, you, aren’t you? Feels so nice to kiss you.”

“So are you. So handsome. So… delicious.”

You had sunk to your knees, doe eyes sparking with promise, and Steven’s hands gripping the edge of the counter you now had him backed-up against.

“Bloody nora! You’re gonna have to stop, love, or I’m going to get excited.”

“Steven. That’s the idea.”

You had already known how he would taste when you took him into your mouth, but it still felt like a first time.

He’d looked good like that - his trousers bunched around his ankles and his chin tipped towards the eaves. His tee-shirt half covering his bare bum cheeks - he had Marc to thank for the squats, you had supposed.

And, as Steven enjoyed you and encouraged you, you finally found a way to make him speechless.

Later, after more pepperings of kisses you had merged your bodies once more between the sheets. After, you had curled in bed, bodies curved like crescents against one another’s - slices of the moon.

That’s when his tears had come.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” Your brows had knitted together like one of his soft sweaters. You had spun and your palm had found his cheek, a lone tear sluicing over the ridges of your fingers.

“This is perfect and I… I don’t want to give you back.” When Steven’s voice had broken, it had broken you. “I don’t want to leave you, love.”

“Aww, baby. Ssshhh.” You had soothed him, searching Steven’s eyes, even as his gaze was disappeared into your hairline. “What the hell do you mean ‘give me back’?” His eyes had met yours briefly then, brimming with liquid moonlight. “I’m yours too, Steven,” you had said freely, and you had meant it with your whole being. “I’m yours too.”

You were his too.

There was a moment, then, as you watched this reveal bed down into Steven’s features, giving them a rare weight. He wore it heavy, like a mask.

Then, a peace had gradually settled over him as he worked through his thoughts. He had shaken his head softly. Expelled a puff of air as though in disbelief, even if his words came out entirely certain. “I love you.”

He said those words with his whole heart.

Unapologetic; just like he was with everything else.

Steven was a man who knew what he wanted - what felt right - and he stood up for it. Said it out loud.

There had been no doubt in your mind either when you had replied. “I love you too.”

Steven’s eyebrows had jumped back up towards his hairline in shock, like he hadn’t even contemplated you might say it back. “Sacré bleu!”

You had already been smiling, but your nose had crinkled in surprise then.

“It’s French,” he explained.

“I know,” you had purred. “I’ll show you something else French, if you like.” A nervous swallow had trailed down his neck as your hand began to smooth over his chest - bare aside from the glinting Magen David nestled in between his pecs.

His gaze had dropped to your mouth. “Oh you will, will you? Poetry or something, is it?”

You had dipped forward, writing a poem as your tongue dipped into his mouth to lick against his. “Oh! Yep. That’s French,” Steven had mumbled against your lips. His hands had reached for you. “Keep it coming. Mmmph.”

You had wound your arms around him in return and tongued his smile.

You had decided then, that you always wanted to hold on. Always wanted to be reaching for him.

***

Khonshu was never going to love you.

You didn’t really care for the bird, nor he for you. “Think you’re all menacing, do you? I’ve seen episodes of Pingu that are scarier than you, you big monstrosity.”

“I’d rather crawl back into my ushabti that be stuck here talking to you, little worm.”

“Don’t worry,” Steven had reassured, once Khonshu had finished with his tantrum, blinking out of the room. He had settled a few soft pats on to your shoulder. “You’ll like the hippo a lot better. Tawaret’s lovely.”

Your head had whipped towards him. “There’s a hippo?”

Clearly, there was a little more you had to catch-up on.

***

Jake came to you last of all.

You were never sure if he planned to stay.

You’d experienced him first only in the aftermath of him fronting.

Marc, left with one of Jake’s hangovers. The taste of cheap whiskey on his mouth.

Steven, clicking his tongue as he shaved off Jake’s three-day moustache, the alters locked in a constant battle around presentation of facial hair.

One day, you had finally met him in person, and there was no doubt he was a stranger to you as he walked the body into the house.

You had used your key. Had been expecting Marc.

Jake had not been expecting you, it seemed.

His eyes had skimmed over you, his face impassive. “Eres la chica.” You’re the girl.

He had looked at you with something you couldn’t place, and were quite sure you didn’t want to.

He didn’t enter. One foot inside and one foot out of the door.

He had stood there, pensive and still. Had lifted his thumb to skim it along his lower lip, and it was then you had noted the smear of red on the ridges of his knuckles.

You had looked him up and down in return, consciously resisting folding your arms around yourself. “And you’re… Jake.” You hadn’t liked the way he made you feel so nervous. “Nice to meet you.”

With a slight downward sneer of his mouth, Jake had turned on his booted heel and walked right out again.

After that, you didn’t see him for a while. Even Marc and Steven told you he was lying low.

To your surprise, they had also told you that Jake wanted to see you again.

“Hi,” you had greeted cautiously when he had next walked in. He was wearing his trademark flat cap, and carrying a scuffed brown cardboard box against his torso.

This time, you had been expecting him.

“Hola, bizcocho.”

Like last time, Jake had looked you up and down, lips pursing as he sucked on a red lollipop - which you would later learn he loved to do all day while he rode his cab around, the clear, crinkled wrappers and used sticks accumulating in his jacket pockets. His upper lip had drawn back into a curled, gummy smile as he crossed to the desk. “Mira. Kitten. Very cute,” he had explained as he waved you over.

You had heard a bright, tiny mew from inside the box then, as though on cue as Jake had carefully placed it down on the table.

“We foster kittens now.” You had simply stood there and blinked, getting accustomed to his pronounced accent, as you had with Steven. To the way his lips moved and shaped themselves differently to either Steven’s or Marc’s around his words.

Imagining the way he must taste of strawberries.

Getting used to all of it.

Adjusting to Jake and who he was.

Unlike Steven or Marc, Jake’s eye contact was intense and unwavering, and you felt a nervous sweat prickle at the back of your neck.

“Um.” You had gathered yourself. “We do?”

“Not ‘we’ like ‘you and me’.” He had laughed. “We like us.” Jake had gestured towards the nearest shiny surface then, followed by abruptly crunching the lollipop between his teeth.

You had crossed to the box and peered inside, smiling involuntarily as you heard a bright peep, and spotted the tiny little furball.

Mew.

You were too nervous -or possibly captivated by Jake, you would theorise later- for the cuteness of this kitten to dissolve your tension completely; and so, you had turned your attention right back to Jake. “Right. There is no ‘you and me’ us.”

Jake had slanted his body towards to you.

His clothes were different. Tight pinstripe trousers which strained against his ample thighs and hips. A fitted white shirt and waistcoat. His voice was different. His mannerisms. Expressions. Motivations.

Most glaringly of all, he looked at you -technically- with the same eyes as Marc and Steven did, but they were different. You did not see the familiar gloss of love coating them when Jake looked at you. You tried hard not to be alarmed by its sudden absence. To understand it.

Then, Jake had scooped the furball up in his broad hand and had nestled her against his chest. He had extended his other hand out to you with a broad grin. The hand that had - last time - been covered in blood. He held it out almost like it was a peace offering before he’d ever wronged you. “Nice to meet you.”

On autopilot, you had reciprocated, reaching out and feeling the warm slide of his broad hand against your own cool skin as he shook it.

This was a hand that had touched you, held you, and been buried in you; but in a way you’d never felt it before. A hand that you’d touched a thousand times but that, now, sent a heat skittering down your spine like it was the thrill of a stranger’s touch.

Maybe you were warming to each other, you’d thought. Or perhaps that was just you. You had certainly felt like he could have grilled you on his hands with the way his touch made your skin sizzle.

“I have heard a lot about you,” Jake mused. You knew the only two likely culprits. “Watched you sometimes as well.”

When he had said that, you had snatched your hand and your eyes away from him, a heat crawling up your neck.

“You… watch me?”

When you had snatched your hand away from him - as if frightened - Jake had become visibly flustered. He had replaced the kitten efficiently to the box, his grin falling away and his thick brows drawing down over his eyes like shutters. He had crossed to the fridge - to give himself some time to think, perhaps. He had opened the door and unceremoniously pulled out two slabs of meat, slapping them on the chopping board and beginning to season them.

As if compelled, you had followed, though you had refrained from pushing him anywhere he didn’t want to go.

Instead, you had pointed at the meat with your forefinger, a niggle in your brow. “I hope that’s kosher.”

Jake had laughed then, a vibrant, gummy thing. You had drank it in, trying to catalogue the details of him, so you could recognise him later. “Muy linda.”

“What’s cute?”

“You know that Steven is already the Steven in my head, don’t you?”

“Right. Touché.” You couldn’t help but laugh too, ekeing out some of your tension.

A smile had curled Jake’s mouth, and you watched as he poured a dram of whiskey into a glass, throwing it down the hatch before gathering up more ingredients.

“Can I help you with anything?”

“No. Just sit. Please,” Jake had insisted, and you had thanked him, planting yourself down as he threw things together in the pan with a flourish and an innate confidence.

And, eventually, in the space you created with your silence, his words had come. “Sometimes… I watch.” The sizzle of the pan was a background to his words, as he tossed ingredients together. “I have to do it, to look after my brothers. I have to keep them safe.”

His expression was somber and closed off, but his eyes had darted briefly over to you then. His eyes were hooded with a suspicion that felt default; familiar. He looked at you briefly as though you were the threat. As though he was thoroughly used to assessing for danger. A gulp had bobbed down your throat. “Keep them safe from… me?”

“No,” Jake shook his head slowly, jaw writhing as he concentrated on plating up the food. “I thought that, when you first came. But now, no.”

He had slid the plate across the small table to you, and had taken his seat opposite. You had thanked him and looked down to the food, realising that he’d prepared it to your requirements. Thank goodness, because you’d forgotten to ask - he had you all in a tiz.

Tentatively, your eyes fixed on Jake the whole time, you scooped up a haphazard forkful of food. “What changed your mind?”

Jake had looked pensive for a moment as his eyes connected with yours. “Because…,” -his mouth lifted into a smile - “…now I know you care about them as much as I do.”

Despite yourself, Jake’s words had inspired a swell of emotion in your chest, and you had reached out to place your hand on top of his then, where it was planted flat on the table. He had looked down at it, but he had not drawn away from you.

Maybe from here, you could take care of him too, you had considered.

With tears twinkling in your eyes and a soft smile, you had finally been able to say it and truly mean it. For the first time, you had felt relaxed around him. “It’s nice to meet you, Jake.”

***

After that point, you had come to learn Jake too.

You had learned how he liked to drive. How he was always working on fixing up some old banger down at a local rental unit. Sometimes, he had taken you to help him after work, asking you to pass him spanners and such as nothing but his bum and legs poked out from beneath the bonnet.

He liked to shoot pool and drink cheap whiskey.

To tenderly settle his flat cap on your head. He always licked his lips whenever he looked at you wearing it, you had begun to notice.

He cooked like a genius.

You had learned that Jake was the protector. The guy who insists it’s “nice to be nice”, but also that sometimes you have to be “cruel to be kind”. The guy who you’d hate to cross but love to be on the right side of.

You had even begun to feel that he looked out for you. That you looked out for each other.

You’d formed a friendship with him, and you had been more than content with that. Content that there was a fondness if not a love nor desire in his eyes for you.

Still, you had been attracted to him, of course - despite your best efforts. And, if Marc had made you feel like you could finally breathe, Jake routinely made you feel like you were running out of air.

Still, you didn’t think he wanted you like that.

That is, not until one night, when you were locked in a sweaty, coital embrace with Marc.

Marc had paused, briefly slowing his thrusts and tearing his mouth away from you with a snatched breath.

“What is it?”

Marc’s shoulders had heaved as he had pushed up on his muscled arms, his sweat-sheened body settled over you like a canopy. Curls cascading over his forehead, and his necklace swaying in the space between you. “Jake’s here,” he had panted, eyes meeting yours with a flash of concern. “He’s… watching.”

At first, it had thrown you.

“What do you want to do?” Marc had enquired urgently, lips dragging down your neck.

He would have stopped, if you wanted it.

Instead though, your eyes had grown hooded, and your voice had become a deep, dark purr. “Don’t stop, Marc. Let him.”

Marc had paused for only a moment, before he had resumed with increased vigour, his eyes somehow lit with an even deeper hunger. “Hnnng. He says… he says to make you cum so he can, hnnng, see how it looks.”

“Do it then. Do it, Marc,” you had encouraged, opening up for him like a night-blooming flower to its moon. And, this time, when you had come undone on Marc and you had looked deeply into his eyes, you could see hints of Jake peering back at you too.

Afterward, you and Marc had come down, breaths ragged, and had fallen back on to the welcoming pillows, limbs tangling together.

Once you were settled, Marc had lolled his head towards you asked a question you weren’t quite ready to face the answer to. “You into him too?”

You had been silent for a long time before you responded. Long enough that Marc may have even believed that you had fallen asleep. Then, your whisper had cut through the dark like a dart.

“Yes.”

It felt sudden and sharp. Somehow, like you had just jammed the knife into your own back.

You had wondered if Marc might pull away from you, but instead, he had scooped you into his arms.

When he did, you had been unable to explain to him why you were crying. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. It’s okay.” Marc had smoothed his hands over you. “He’s a good-looking guy.” Marc’s throaty chuckle had dragged a smile out of you too.

“Is he here now?” you had croaked.

“Not right now, baby. It’s just you and me.”

You had buried your face into Marc’s chest and held him tight.

***

The next time you had seen Jake after that, he was no longer watching.

He was staring.

Staring, with an intensity which had rivalled your own when you had first gotten to know Jake. When he had let your fingers trace with trepidation over the ridges and contours and planes of his face.

“Steven’s eyebrows are higher,” you had whispered, the pad of you sweeping over his brow. You had touched the corner of his mouth next. “Marc’s mouth is more drawn down, and Steven’s more pouty here.” You had traced the shape of his Cupid’s bow.

“What about me?” Jake had asked.

You had swept your finger down the length of his nose. “Your nose crinkles more when you smile. And your lip curls right up.”

You had learned him, but you hadn’t ever thought that he had needed to learn you. Weren’t you always the same? Always consistent?

Well… apparently not.

Jake had stepped up close to you, by the window, and, as you froze with shock, he had traced the pad of his thumb along the ridge of your cheekbone, following a curving path up and around your eye, like he was drawing a moon slice through settled dust. You felt shined where he touched you. New.

A weight had settled on his brow though. “You look different,” Jake had mused, fleeting his tongue along his lower lip.

You had tried to recall whether your clothes were out of the ordinary today. Whether you had done something different with your hair. “Do I?”

“The way you look at us,” Jake had gone on to say, something sorrowful buried deep in his eyes. “You look different. When you look at Marc. Or Steven. Or me.”

Your breath had hitched in your throat, as Jake had slowly traced his thumb along your jaw, his head titling to look at you more keenly. “H-how do I look at you?”

You had watched the lilting curve of his lips as they tipped up into a crescent smile. “Like you don’t love me.” His forefinger and thumb had come to grip your chin, and he had tilted your head in the opposite direction to his. “But like you want me.”

Your breath had stuttered from your mouth. “Jake,” you had suspired. You hadn’t known what he was asking you. Whether he had meant for you to start loving him or to stop wanting him. Maybe neither of those things. Maybe something else.

You didn’t know. All you knew was that he was making your head swim, and the only thing that made sense was when his body pressed up close against yours, and his kiss had sunk you.

He didn’t taste of strawberries at all.

He tasted of cherries.

“Do I scare you, cariño?” he had breathed against your cheek as he came up for air. As he felt your body trembling up against his.

“No, Jake. You don’t scare me.”

You had told him that, only so that he would kiss you again. So that he would not stop. You had told him you weren’t scared of him, but it had been a lie.

He did scare you. Not because of his blood-stained hands, or his reckless abandon. Not because of the way, when he kissed you, your middle opened up.

Not because of that.

But you couldn’t tell him why. Could never.

So, instead, you had let Jake fuck you with reckless abandon. Like a wolf at the mercy of its moon.

Afterwards, Jake had bundled you against his chest, his arm casually slung around you as he propped himself up against the headboard. He had reached into the bedside drawer for a lollipop, tearing off the wrapper with his teeth, and his lips settling around it with a pop.

“Jake?” you whispered uncertainly, against his smooth, bare chest.

“Sí?”

“I don’t want to sleep.”

“No?” he had asked, dipping his chin to get a better look at you, even if you couldn’t bring yourself to meet his gaze.

“I… I don’t want you to disappear.” Your fingers had idly skimmed back and forth, over the same spot on his pec.

With a deep sigh, Jake had shifted his position, so that his fingers could hook beneath your chin, gently guiding your gaze towards him. “Then I’ll stay awake all night.” Your eyes had remained downcast, however, your fingers idly tracing the outline of the Magen David chain which pooled in the dip of his chest. “I’ll stay with you.”

“No. You won’t,” you had protested, fighting back some persistent tears.

“Maybe not. But I’ll try, cariño.” Your tears had spilled over on to your cheeks. You couldn’t hold them back. “Hey, what is it? Tell Jake. He’ll protect you, okay?”

“Not always,” you had croaked nonsensically. “Not from everything.”

“Sí. Sí,” Jake has insisted, smoothing his hands over your hair in the name of comfort; but you had known that his promise was a lie. That it was not so; because there was still one glaring reason that you were scared of him.

You were scared, because you loved him; and because you weren’t sure that he could ever love you back.

You must have been a fool, then; since you weren’t sure what else could have possessed you say it. What else could have driven you to lift your eyes up to meet Jake’s in that moment and to reveal all.

Maybe a part of you had seriously thought you would be able to hide it.

Maybe a part of you even believed he might say it back.

That he might truly be able to protect you, like he had tried to promise; even from himself.

Maybe you could have hidden it; except… Jake had learned you. You didn’t even have to say it out loud in the end - I love you - because you made the simple mistake of looking at him with love in your eyes. Love he had learned and could recognise played out on your face. You had looked at him how you looked at Marc. How you looked at Steven.

Marc had come first, and Steven had followed.

Khonshu would never love you.

And Jake?

You hadn’t known if he would ever get there, but you knew all too suddenly now that he was never coming. You had learned him too. Could read the emotions in his eyes.

He looked at you with fondness.

With apology.

He looked at you like he was scared.

He looked at you like he was the threat, and that there was one thing he could not protect you from.

He looked at you with those all too familiar eyes, no longer backlit with the glow of love.

And, that’s when his eyes had rolled back into his head.

That’s when a fog had cast itself like a murky shroud over his face, making him unreadable. That is, until someone else stepped up to front in his place.

By the time you saw the familiar pattern of animated eyebrows jumping up, the tears were already flowing down your cheeks. By the time you heard a soothing, British-accented voice wash over you, you were sobbing.

“Steven.”

“What is it? What’s wrong, love?” He had held you by the shoulders as you sat upright on the bed, your knees curled up to your chest. He had examined your face and body for clues of harm or injury, but found nothing. And so, he had simply shushed you and stroked you, and told you he loved you. Told you that when your words were ready, he would listen. Steven was perfect, but - even with Steven by your side - for a few moments, you had been inconsolable.

You had been so afraid that Jake wouldn’t feel the same. That your confession would push him away. And now, you supposed that you had been right to worry.

He was gone.

He was quick to take his leave of you.

He’d already had one foot out of the door since he met you, hadn’t he?

“You alright, love? A little bit better, eh?” Steven had finally soothed, when your crying had subsided to the occasional sniffle. “Let’s get you some hot chocolate and some tissues, shall we, sweetheart? Get you all sorted.”

“Mmm.” You had nodded.

Steven had tried his best to be reassuring, but he couldn’t hide the concern in his eyes. He couldn’t hide the way he peered intently into the shined saucepans on the shelf above the sink, face contorting as he listened. His jaw writhing with a rare anger - as though he was hearing something which upset him.

You wondered whether he was getting an earful from Jake or Marc, or both, but something was happening that he didn’t look altogether happy about.

Still, for you, Steven had pulled it together, and for once he made an effort to smooth out his face. To hide from you, only in order to take the edge off of his concern.

He had quietly set down the hot chocolate for you - extra marshmallows sprinkled carefully on the top. You had wished you could paint on a smile for him, but his gesture was so sweet that, if anything, it made you ache even more.

He flattened his hands, and smoothed them up and down your thighs, slow and steady. “Do you… do you want Marc, love?” he had asked softly. “He’ll know what to do. Yeah?”

You couldn’t speak, but Steven had understood your answer all too well when a fresh batch of tears spilled over on to your cheeks.

The next hands to reach for you had been the first.

Marc’s.

Through blurred, teary vision, you held your arms out to him, a pathetic sob cracking in your throat. “Heyyy, honey, c’mere,” he soothed, his voice deep and steady as he dragged you into his lap. “Come on.”

Marc was first.

And Marc was with you until the end.

Marc was all in.

“What’s got you so upset, baby? Jake… he… didn’t say it back?”

He knew then?

“I’m so sorry, Marc.”

“Wh-? Why, honey?”

“Because… because what I’m thinking isn’t fair.”

His brows had knitted together in that familiar way. And, Marc had pulled you back from him, his palm hugging your face like the curl of a crescent moon. You felt the warm glow of him bleed into your skin, and nothing but love shining in his eyes for you. “You can tell me.”

You sucked in a deep breath, your bottom lip and chin wobbling uncontrollably as you wrestled with it.

“I just… I feel like if Jake doesn’t…” your shoulders had heaved -partly in frustration with yourself- as you fought a sob, and Marc shushed and soothed you until your words came. “I… feel like it means there’s a part of you that doesn’t love me. That will always be trying to leave, and…” Your sobs were coming thick and fast, between every few words now, but even so Marc stuck with you. There was pain burning in his eyes because you were hurting, and because all of this hurt him too. “And - if - if Jake leaves?” You sucked in an ugly, wet breath, before blurting your last words out into Marc’s shoulder. “If he leaves, he takes everyone I love with him. He takes you.”

You had clung on to Marc as you sobbed, and you had held him like you never wanted to let him go. Like you wanted him for always. Marc was frozen against you for what seemed like an eternity, until he finally mobilised. And, when he did, he seemed oddly calm. Perfectly certain.

“Baby, come here,” Marc had croaked, and you had felt his own tears wetting your shirt as he buried his head in the crook of your neck. You had felt him warm and sturdy around you, gathering you up in his arms and dragging you to him with his hands. Breathing you in. Caressing you. Bundling you towards his chest. Squeezing you tight. “That’s what this is about? Baby. I got you. Come on.”

Marc took a hold of your hands and he stood, gently but determinedly guiding you over to the window. He had led you to it, and wrapped himself around you from behind, his strong arms enclosing you, and both your faces kissed by gentle moonlight as you gazed out over the expanse of chimney stacks and rooftops, the night sky a gentle backdrop to the hubbub of the nocturnal city.

“Look,” Marc had said, settling his hands on top of yours as his arms wound around your middle. He didn’t direct you, but you had known exactly where to look. To the sliver of moon carved out of the bleak sky like a tear through to another world. Tears continued to sluice down your cheeks, but you managed to subdue them. “The moon splits itself into pieces, right?” you had nodded. “Sometimes, it’s a little sliver you have to seek out. Sometimes, a huge bright face. Sometimes, you can’t see it at all. But when it’s each of those things, it’s never any less than whole. Not once. It just comes down to what you can see.”

It was them, he’d meant. Different faces of the one same moon. Never gone from your sky even when things went dark.

Marc had spun you around in the loop of his arms then, so that you could come to face him, his brows drawn down over his eyes, but a well of pale light shining within them as tears shimmied there. With the pad of his thumb, he had swiped your own from your cheek, a watery smile spreading over his face as he took your face in his hands. “I promise you this, baby. I promise you that I love you with everything I have. I promise I’ll protect you. Always. From everything. Okay?”

Overwhelmed with emotion and love, you had drawn Marc close and had kissed him. Kissed the salt tracks from his cheeks. Had kissed his mouth. His eyebrows. His jaw.

You had held him in your arms and you had swayed there together in the moonlight, dancing to silent music.

For a moment too, you had even believed him. Been convinced that you need not be scared - because Marc’s all in. Because Steven is too.

Indeed, as Marc had bundled you up on the couch, and you had sipped the hot chocolate Steven had lovingly made for you, in many ways, you’d felt like the luckiest person in the world.

But, whilst Marc was all in, you knew deep down that Jake was only ever moments away from walking out of that door.

And, if he ever left, you knew that he would take everything you couldn’t bear to let go of with him.

Everything you had wanted to hold on to.

You had told him you loved him, and he didn’t love you back.

Even with Marc in your arms, there were still so many reasons why that scared you.

Still though. You knew you had to hope.

After all; you were all in.

You loved them with everything you had, and you always will.

[felidacy]

Rogue system knowledge & Tim and Jason

@head-in-the-clouds27 regarding your question about if Talia will know about the Rogue system for Tim and if this change in Tim would also make the dynamic with Jason different got me thinking. So here is what I thought about. 

Rogue System & The League 

Tim is a natural snoop that makes unreasonable amounts of contingency plans as he goes, which is why he weasels himself into Barbara Gordon’s heart through lighthearted trash talk about Bruce & Dick and thirst for knowledge in order to learn more about computer science from day one. (Tim is not arrogant enough to think he could achieve the same level of greatness through the lack of a teacher.) As such, Tim learns about the League when he wasn’t supposed to know (really dumb of Bruce when Tim could be at risk, did he learn nothing?) when he snoops through the Batcomputer and decides then and there that attracting the interest from them is far too dangerous. 

Paired with the newly attained hacker knowledge and having no qualms about using questionable methods like gaslighting and blackmail, Tim uses that to control a large part of the Rogues underground. Unintentionally he becomes one of the big bosses in the crime family as he forces them to alter pieces of information, use codes that only they understand, and build up a cover-up to make it seem like they use it for every vigilante and not only for a tiny Robin. (Whoever doesn’t do as he is told is either being put into a trap with Batman arriving or Tim makes it through cleverly planned incidents and more gaslighting that the Rogues end up fighting each other. You would assume that they understood that quickly, but people are sometimes stupid and like underestimating Tim, and as such, some more drastic measures needed to be taken. In the end, though, they learned to listen after all.) 

It is that altered information that the League is only aware of because when they infiltrate some of the crime families to learn about the system, the plan never goes according to plan. Despite Talia’s strong suspicion of that bird, Ra’s has enough of losing good assassins for some measly system along with the unwanted attention of the Detective again that he orders them back. Talia is supposed to concentrate on their newest project that she put at risk because of Batman being too close for their liking now. (Talia does as she is told despite her dislike as she forms her new, little soldier through manipulation and honey-covered lies she whispers into his ears. With hundreds of years of knowledge, she knows just how to use pawns when it involves the pit.)

Jason and Tim’s first meeting

Like in canon because of the Red Hood’s appearance in Gotham, Tim is forced to leave for Florida and prohibited from leaving the Tower for an unknown amount of time. Tim does not mind that he is essentially skipping school for that time, however, he does mind that he was totally caught off-guard by the Waynes and as he was rushed through the Zeta tube he was unprepared. With the Waynes being unaware of his nature (granted that is on him 100% and isn’t it what he wanted) there is not enough time to take a lot with himself, which includes the much-needed packages of blood he regularly consumes to stay sane and, you know, alive. 

It isn’t much of a rebellion when he tries to escape out of the tower and much more of a healthy desire to live. Tim might not seem like it with his unhealthy tendencies, but he does have a stronger will to survive than a wet paperback. But as predicted with someone like Batman, the safety measures prove themselves to be fruitful and even Barbara does not want to help him out, instead reinforcing the system. It is completely unreasonable and overkill in Tim’s eyes when heroes from the Justice League show up when he does end up getting out by a sheer miracle. Finally meeting the Green Lantern he loved ever since he was small (Tim is in denial that he still is) isn’t worth it though with the follow-up lectures, but the worst ones are when Superman - who is practically like an uncle to the Waynes - shows up and gives him that disappointed puppy look. Even when the man isn’t his uncle because Tim is not a Wayne by any means, it has a deadly effect on him. And then come the messages from Dick that make Tim feel so guilty that he lets go of his stubbornness for once and plays obedient soldier. 

(Tim watched with rising panic as he depletes the little amount of blood resources that he had and a familiar feeling of hunger settles in him. Being alone and hungry was a familiar friend, if you could call it that, for Tim. But Tim had gotten so used to a different reality -although it was still slow going as both Bruce and Tim himself were hesitant- that it was now something that he dreaded.)

With very poor timing it is when Tim is at his worst that the Red Hood breaks into the Tower and comes across Tim. Not Robin, but Tim the monster. A boy that he heard a lot about through Talia and yet that boy before him then wasn’t quite as helpless and weak as he has been told. He had a familiar edge in his smile, in the way that his eyes seemed to stare straight into his soul and how he didn’t hesitate to grasp a knife as a weapon. (Robin was supposed to be the comfort, the sneaky surprise that struck when you least expect it. Not deadly dangerous. That wasn’t Jason or Tim, they were familiar with the darkness and didn’t hesitate to use it. They were a different kind.) None of that mattered to the Red Hood in that moment however. The pit hummed in satisfaction to have an evenly matched target that could keep up with its strength, though technique wise they were far different. The pit drowned out how similiar the two were, the pit only made the Red Hood see green and so incredibly angry. 

The Red Hood wasn’t the only one who was filled with an unexplainable surge of power, however. Tim fought viciously against the larger man who could count himself lucky with the helmet, because otherwise, Tim would have already ripped his throat open. He made do with the knife in his hand instead of his Bo-staff and he managed to hurt the Red Hood more than once, although none of the wounds are fatal enough to halter the man in his steps. Angry at that, the Red Hood managed to push Tim down the stairs where he crumbled into a mess along with his weapon when bones snapped. Groaning and cursing Tim was ready to get up again when he was shoved back down and the Red Hood took off the helmet. 

Jason Todd, his hero, his dead Robin stood before Tim. Not so dead after all. 

The reveal was a greater shock than when Jason leaned closer and spat a choice of words at the replacement. The pretender. The cuckoo that snuck into a nest he wasn’t supposed to have when he had his own family. Nevermind that it was a poor excuse of one. But Jason didn’t know anything about the truth. How could he? He didn’t know that he lost his mother long before she died of person. Didn’t know that the comatose state of his father was a mercy in disguise. Didn’t know that the Waynes didn’t even truly want him. Jason was angry at Tim and regardless of the explanations that he tried, the older didn’t want to listen to him any longer. 

As such, the slitting of his throat came quick like the strike of a viper. Jason didn’t care as Tim bleed out then and there. He left his message for the Bats and left without even sparing Tim another glance. That hurt more than it should have and it took Tim longer than he wanted to call back the logical part of his brain. Like, how he was in danger of dying. He activated his emergency beacon and hoped that Bruce and Dick would soon come, but Tim knew that his survival rate wasn’t great. (Vampires weren’t immortal despite popular belief in pop media. He had seen it with his mother after all. Vampires turned grey in a way no human could and not long after they would turn to ash. There was a reason that the Drakes were apparently always burned and not put in coffins.) Tim did not wish to die, so he did the only logical conclusion. Crawling to the knife that was kicked aside by Jason, he took the weapon in his slippery hands and prayed that all the blood on it was more from Jason than his own. His own would have proven to be useless. With probably not much time left, Tim licked the blood off from the knife even when it made his poor throat scream in more pain.

However, that was nothing compared to the following. Tim had never tasted such awful blood like then. It was rotten and slid down his throat like sludge, he needed to fight against the urge to throw it back up again. Forcefully he kept his mouth shut even when the heat set in. The usual healing effect of blood was cool and numbing to his body, but this blood scorched from his insides and decidedly did not start healing the wound. Being a naturally cold creature, the heat was nearly unbearable to endure. At first, Tim thought he misjudged and that he would die that die, but then he did realize that there was somewhat of an effect. While it didn’t heal the wound, it stopped the blood flow enough that he could outlive the attack. 

Later on Bruce, Alfred and Dick would wonder how Tim survived. They were thankful beyond belief, but there had been so much blood and Tim lied so cold and still that Dick fully expected to have lost another younger brother when he didn’t have the chance to protect him, again. Tim did not want to talk about that day, barely even spoke which was at first explained by the injury but later on put on as trauma. Tim would end up disclosing who the Red Hood was, but beyond that there was not a thing he explained. 

Dick caught Tim more than once staring into the mirror and looking at the scar, the first scar that was ever left on his body. Dick would try his best to cheer him up and explain that it didn’t make him ugly or anything, but Dick had no clue to the extent of how much it truly unsettled Tim. For the first time, the powers of his have failed. Tim wasn’t scared of the attack itself or what Jason had done, Tim was scared that it could happen again now. 

[scr33ch1ng]

So,

There really is nothing on system littles. And what I mean is, despite how long I've been searching I can't find much that helps us actually raise a child. System hosts will mention it, sure, or they'll have a specific alter who is great with kids. But we don't have any of that, and I bet other systems are struggling with this too. So, I'm compiling what I've learned in the past year or so and sharing it as an attempt to help.

This is written from my experiences with my little brother, a traumatized headmate around 10 years old. This might not apply to everyone.

Traumatized children require constant reassurance. They might be easily scared or startled by anything, and hold irrational beliefs that everything will hurt them (me too buddy). They can be the most vulnerable and emotional part of a system. This makes them really important, and in a unique position. They DEMAND attention. Even if they are quiet, if they are dissatisfied, it will come back and bite you in the ass. They require patience and special consideration.

You have to make your child headmate feel safe and comfortable. This is easier said than done. It's a lot more complicated than simply buying some toys and watching cartoons. Children have emotional needs, we all do. They need to feel love and feel like they are part of a family. This is why communication is very important. Communication is different with every system, and we communicate via a variety of writings, pinterest boards, dreams, co-fronting, and more direct but vague ways of throwing emotions at each other, and asking questions and receiving a vague response. This is all to say that even if you literally can't hold a conversation, there is many ways to talk to each other.

In order to meet your littles needs you have to know them first. You can assume the basics, yes, but that will only get you so far. Children also aren't known for their excellent communication skills, so this is a process. My little benefits from a pacifier, which was easy to figure out. But it took longer to realize he also wants his own clothing, and he refuses to wear black because it's a color that is worn too frequently by other alters, and he needs to feel like his own person. This might be a bit ridiculous. A color is just a color, right? No one is going to die by wearing black. But to him it is very important, and he will be distressed if he is not wearing clothes comfortable to him.

And the way our system works is it's easy to feel another alter's distress, so there is no point in wigging a systemmate out for no reason. You want to work together to reduce stress. It makes an easier time for everybody.

Anyways. You will have to make compromises. You make compromises just by being a system. I adjusted our living space to be more "child friendly". I removed the animal bones we had on display. I don't buy decor that my child alter would find scary, even if it's a horror movie character I like, even if I think it's not that bad. If you can make your little feel comfortable even by one percent, it's worth it. I adjusted our room to feel more cheerful. I have a shelf of easily accessible toys. I decorated our house more with cute things. Fridge magnets, goodwill figurines, a printed photo of a puppy, anything to make your syskid feel like this is also their space will help .

This is all I have for today. Thanks for reading!

[gabrielle-six-oh-seven]

OKAY OKAY RAMBLES OF HEADCANONS ABOUT MIGUEL X A FILIPINO S/O

Okay, I'm a Filipino and I just have to get this out of my system. Might make some art about it in the future.

FIRST OF ALL THE FRIGGING LANGUAGE.

For those of you who don't know, the Philippines was colonized by Spain for 300+ years before the Americans and the Japanese got to us so until now, we have some Spanish words in our language.

So imagine taking Miguel home to meet your family and Miguel being a bit nervous he won't understand when you start speaking in Filipino (plus yannow, first impressions) then the first thing your relatives say when you introduce him:

Uy, ang guwapo naman ng jowa mo.

And suddenly, he's a bit comforted because he understood only one word in that sentence and he knows he has a good impression already.

Also cursing in Filipino when he's around!!! Istg cursing in Filipino hits harder than any "fuck you" you can throw around. If you and Miguel get into an argument and you let out a malutong na "tangina naman, oh" , he knows how serious shit is.

Also, I highkey believe that Miguel loves it (dare I say gets turned on) when he catches you speaking to yourself in Filipino and just being in your element when you're concentrating on something.

NEXT THE FOOD

MY GOD THE FOOD. HOW MUCH I WOULD LOVE TO COOK FOR THIS MAN.

Cooking champorado for him on rainy days (there's actually a fic for this written by Luciel49 in Ao3 A MUST READ!!!). Tuyong adobo with egg and steaming rice. Beef mechado during New Year. Miswa when any one of you is sick. Pancit canton, Lumpia, and Leche Flan for the S/O's birthday. Taking him around the Philippines to try street food like Kwek-Kwek, Betamax, or Dynamite. Sisig Nachos while staying in and drinking with him??? I COULD GO ON AND ON ABOUT COOKING FOR THIS MAN. I WANT TO MAKE HIM SMILE FROM THE FOOD I MADE FOR HIM!!!

TAKING CARE OF HIM WHEN HE'S SICK

(or idk how his spider altered genes work but let's say he does get coughs and colds). You make him salabat with lemon when he's got coughs. If he's got the flu, you make him arroz caldo or maybe lugaw with tokwa't baboy (making the baboy extra special by making it the lechong kawali version). Before sleeping, rubbing Vicks on his back and chest while wrapping him up in a blanket.

(I'll add on to the list as I think of more. Suddenly want to make an OC for my headcannons, now.)

[bullet-prooflove]

TheWall! Series Part Three: Risk - Bishop Losa x Reader

Tagging: @crazy4chickennuggets @kmc1989 @oureternalbond @wakeama @fanfic-n-tabulous @dreamlandcreations @anime-weeb-4-life @keyweegirlie @danzer8705 @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @the-wandering-lunatic @alwaysachorusgirl @beardedbarba @multifandomloversworld @est1887 @mortal--soul @buddinglinguist @purrrrfect @adaydreamaway08 @stressed-chas @spookyboogyuniverse @librarian1002 @msjava1972 @thanossexual @kishie8 @saltyunicorn079 @nessamc @thebaileybugle @spaghettificationandpretzels @nu1freakshow @justreblogginfics @beccabarba @legally-a-bastard @trublu2u @irishavengersassemble

Companion Series to:

Complicated - Bishop already knows your secret.

The Wall - Bishop comes home to find you covered in blood.

TheWall! Series:

Part One: Poker Night

Part Two: Ambush

The tang of copper hits Bishop as soon as he opens the bedroom door. It’s a bad sign, a really bad fucking sign. It means that Coco hasn’t been able to stop the bleeding, he sees it in the overwrought expression on the sniper’s features as he sits alongside of the bed with his hands clasped together as if in prayer. You’re fading he can see it. Your breathing is laboured, your pallor pale and clammy.

Creeper sits on the opposite side of the bed, his hand holding yours as he talks to you in low soothing tones. It’s in moments like this that he sees the kindness in his brothers, their unwavering support. You’re not just a part of his life, you’re a part of theirs too.

“We’ll give you some time.” Creeper says, his hand coming to rest upon Bishop’s shoulder before the two of them leave the room.

Bishop has a decision to make. If you don’t get medical attention soon, you’re going to die and the thought of that… He’d follow you into that grave, he knows he would. The problem is he knows that you would rather bleed out on this bed then let anyone else suffer the fallout from this whole situation.

He reaches out, his fingertips smoothing the hair back away from your face. It breaks his heart to see you like this, there’s a sinking in his chest because the choice it’s impossible. Either way he loses you.

“Hey baby,” He says quietly, his thumb trailing over the apple of your cheek. “We gotta get you to the hospital…”

You shake your head, and the gesture fucking kills him.

“You know what happens if we do.” You rasp, your eyes meeting his. “We can’t.”

“Carmen…” He tries, his voice breaking. “Carmen please…”

“Obispo…” You say softly, your hand covering his and clasping it to your cheek. “I can’t put them at risk.”

The breath rushes out of him, and he wishes that he fell in love with someone else, someone who wasn’t so fucking selfless. He knows the risks. Gunshot wounds get reported, that means an investigation into you, the community centre, the work you’re doing on the side...

It puts everyone in the firing line, him, the club, the people who help you. It’s a meticulous network and this has the potential to derail the whole system. If that happens no one’s safe, not the people you’ve already helped, or the people you intend to help.

He thinks of the alterative and he just fucking can’t because a world without you in it doesn’t bear thinking about. His eyes fucking sting as he presses his forehead to yours, his hand shaking as he grasps yours tightly.

You may be willing to die for this cause but is he going to let you?

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[rileyslibrary]

Okay, I have to get this off my chest, or else I’ll combust. Thank you all for the love on the recent Price’s Surprise Cake fic, but truth be told, it was posted by accident, and it was too late when I found out. 🫣

And if you happen to ask how something can be posted by accident, I’m here to tell you that either Tumblr decided to act out, or I absentmindedly placed it in queue rather than in drafts. Since I don’t like blaming my shortcomings on others, I believe it’s the latter. I’ve started using the queue on my main for reblogging art, and I think my brain acted similarly in this case.

Although the story was finished, it needed some minor editing (that I’ve already done), adding a title or a description, and, most importantly, fixing some inaccuracies that still bug me but can’t be altered cause they’re part of the fic now.

So, instead of crying over spilt milk, how about I present you with the inaccuracies so you and I can laugh together: 😅

I wanted to change the fruit tart to apple pie or something that doesn’t need to be refrigerated because who the fuck leaves a fruit tart out of the fridge for so long apart from the part where you get to eat it? Fruit will go bad (you know how already cut fruits taste/smell when you leave them out for too long), tart (that bottom/biscuit part, I don't know; I’m not a baker) will get soggy, not to mention how candles don’t sit upright when you place them in the cream.

Candles. Where are the candles?? Although we do know Price’s age, I wanted to include a sparkly question mark candle that the reader would hand to Ghost along with the box to hide. I thought it would add more to his irritability by seeing that 👇

The timing, omg that still bugs me. Price wants to meet in an hour, and Ghost tells the reader to return in half an hour FOR WHAT?? Why hide the cake in the first place if it’s just for an hour?? Might as well lock yourself in the broom closet with the cake if it’s for thirty minutes. Not only that, but if the reader were supposed to pick up the cake in half an hour, that means they would have to take it with them in the briefing room and therefore ruin the surprise. They’d either have to do it BEFORE the briefing or AFTER, where the reader would run down to Ghost’s office to pick it up.

See? The maths. They don’t add up.

Phew 😮‍💨 Now that I let everything out of my system, I can relax.

[garnettfox]

Miracubots AU

Sooooo, me and a friend reconnected after a few years of silence (Thanks depression) and discovered not only do we still share similar old fandom brainrot, but we share NEW fandom brain rot and have very similar opinions about the Miraculous series, which lead into the brainrots fusing and with their permission. I present. THE MIRACUBOTS AU

AKA What if we took the cool and interesting magic system and initial set up of Miraculous....AKA the only good bits, and put it in a show with great writing and characters who we love and who deserve to go feral on a villain every now and again?

The AU takes place instead of the canon season four, Cody is aged up a little to 14/15, Doctor Morroco never lost his Verns device to Madeline Pynch so he's still around to be a menace, and the Prime bots...We haven't fully established if Prime is still happening, or if it's after RiD but the Autobots are still around and mentioned occasionally. And since it's a different version of season 4, the bots are still undercover to the town, only the family knowing they are sentient.

Madeline takes stage as the main villain of the series having acquired the Butterfly Miraculous and after discovering Nooroo and it's power, forcing the Kwami to tell her all about the other Miraculous, including the fact that using two of them, the Ladybug and Black Cat together gives one the power to alter reality.

Seeing an easy way to get her goal of being the riches and most powerful person on the planet, she forces Nooroo to tell her where the Miracle box is, but the poor Kwami can only confirm he senses it on Griffin Rock. With her goal in mind Pynch uses the Butterfly to become Swallowtail creating her first Akuma to draw out the guardian and hopefully the Miraculous she seeks.

Master Fu once he realizes what is happening, charges Tikki and Plagg to find two children they resinate strongly with to become the new holders of their Miraculous, reasoning that Children will be easy to teach and control, and he'd be better able to take the Miraculous back from children if the pair chose poorly.

To no one in this fandom's surprise, Cody Burns is who's picked by Tikki to be her holder. He does try to convince her to go to his dad or siblings so they can protect her after she tells him she's what the Akuma is after. But Tikki insists that she picked the right person to be her holder able to sence Cody having a loving heart full of courage.

Cody becomes the new Ladybug Hero Beetletron! looking very much like a miniature version of one of the Rescuebots, though one with a beetle Altmord, when he asks about it Tikki explains that it's because well, the Rescuebots have more or lest become his mental image of what a hero should *be* and thus the Miraculous copied their form. The name comes from Cody trying to think of a Cybertronian sounding name and vaguely remembering hearing the bots talk about some important mech from Cybertron....something-tron? Well it sounds robotic and he's a beetle so, Beetletron!

Fighting against the Akuma he's joined by another hero, a girl in a cyber punk looking get up, dark leathers and neon greens with a head covering mask, she even has a USB cable acting as a tail that she can use with her tech knowhow to hack! The new Black Cat introduces herself as Felidae Fatale, named for the scientific cat family Felidae, and well, she might not be the classic version of a Femme Fatale, she'll prove she can be just as badass as they can be.

Working together feeling like they've known each other for years though they just met, they beat the Akuma, and when Swallowtail makes her threat to claim their Miraculous's they confidently announce they'll make sure a villain like her, never wins.

In the aftermath the pair meet up and agree, keeping a secret identity from the other would be pretty silly considering the life and death danger their in, so. Reveal themselves.

And Cody laughs crying as he hugs his best friend Frankie, as there really could be no other person it would be.

Feel free to tell me or ask me about this AU, We have a TON of stuff planned out, what Miraculous's people get, Akuma forms for almost everyone. Admitedly have some self-indulgent stuff like putting in OC's we love to use XD but it's all in good fun