#I’m actually watching Anything Goes as we speak

[maplemonarchy]

I recent moved into my own apartment and have set up my living room accordingly.

[arts-and-drafts]

I decided to start compiling speech patterns and such for the Hermits I watch the most, because being a fic writer is hard sometimes 😭 then I thought “why not share it here?”

so here’s my very rough analysis of my most viewed Hermits, this is just what I’ve managed to gather so please don’t call me out for what I’m missing

-

Scar

Rarely stutters in normal speech. Maybe pauses if he’s started a sentence and doesn’t know where it’s going, but he doesn’t tend to trail off unless something interrupts his train of thought

Stutters a LOT when he’s startled. Also makes ‘hoo!’ noises repeatedly before he finds his words

Lays on the charm THICK when he’s trying to convince someone over literally anything; compliments their looks, their handiwork, and then pitches his proposition in smooth segue. Not one to entertain haggling though (however he DOES do a ‘look if you’ll pay full price I’ll throw in xyz’ thing). King of upselling even the most mundane things.

His tone is cheerful most of the time, no matter what he’s saying. He’ll actually often say very disturbing things with a light voice (ex. when discussing how to retaliate ie “what should we do about him?” “we could kill him! :)”)

Builds and locations somehow are always capitalized in his voice?? Like he says them differently. I can’t really explain it (when he talks about Aqua Town or Scarland or The Big Dig)

Literally has an evil laugh when he thinks of a way to prank someone or mess with people

Hums in thought quite often, and uses “huh!” quite often when confused or finding out something new (Mostly with redstone)

His farewell is almost always “Byeeee, have a great time!” even if the conversation he left was not a pleasant one. I’m almost certain he does this in tense situations just to get under other people’s skin and really push how unbothered he is

Doesn’t tend to insult people, the farthest he’ll take it is backhanded compliments

That said he is not afraid to outright threaten (“I will murder them.”)

References media a lot, both for concepts for builds and in speech (ie his greeting “Well hello there!” is from Star Wars)

Number one exclamation is “Sweet Baby Jellie!”

(More under the cut!)

Grian

Cold opens, both in videos and conversations (rarely says “hello, how are you, etc” when encountering someone, but he does say farewells/‘thank you’s)

Likes to sneak up on people and scare them if he realizes they haven’t noticed him yet, usually does so by getting real close and then yelling (“HEY!”/“HI!”/“WHAT’S THAT?”)

Uses the name of whoever he’s talking to pretty often while speaking to them (“Well, Mumbo, you never know”/“So, Scar, as you can see here-“), same goes for often addressing his audience (“you all”/“you lot”/“you guys”)

Usually pretty focused (when he wants to be) but oftentimes takes a minute to laugh at things he notices in the natural environment (An accidental face in a build, a mob in a strange place, etc)

Takes the lead in a conversation if nobody is the clear leader, but generally only speaks when spoken to if someone else has risen to that spot

Clarifies instructions after something is explained, both to his viewers and to anyone he’s grouped up with (most often seen in the Life Series)

Uses “Pardon?!”/“Beg your pardon?!” most often when surprised or startled (he’s very British), also sometimes uses “Sorry??”

Things are way more funny to him when he’s tired

Deadpans a lot in conversation ie “why not do xyz?” “Well because we’ll horrifically die 😑“

This man is allergic to committing to the bit unless he’s the one that initiated it

Not one to sugarcoat (“how is it?” “well to be honest it’s miserable”)

Number one exclamation is “WHAT?!” (though he often uses “oh my GOODNESS” quite a bit)

Mumbo

The start of nearly every episode is almost a pitch, does the same when bringing up an idea to others (“I have this idea”/“I was thinking”/“I noticed” etc)

Often laughs a little at himself when he speaks

Also often brings up how inexperienced/unqualified he thinks he is with literally any task he’s doing

Gets very distracted with the smallest things

Uses similes a lot when trying to describe a concept (“I’m thinking a this-type thing”/“Something like a [xyz]”/“Imagine like a [thing]”)

His voice gets higher when he’s startled or panicking

A very vocal thinker, which makes sense because he’s a MC Youtuber, but he also just. Seems to think out loud regardless

Comments a lot on the feel of things (“Oh this feels menacing”/“This looks like it’d mess you up”/“This makes it feel very intimidating”), often with building

Extremely modest. However will celebrate when he does something right in redstone/building (“YES! Oh my days, that took forever”)

Once and a while will have a rare banter moment with people he’s comfortable with (ie teasing and making fun)

Related to above, he gets very giggly when he’s hanging out with people he’s familiar with (Grian and Scar most often, but also Iskall)

Number one exclamation is “What on earth?!”

Joel

Greets people most often with “How you doing [name]?”/“How are ya [name]?”

He’s very northern. He often leaves out words in his sentences bc that’s just the way his dialect is (“What you doin’?” vs “What are you doing?”)

Says his th’s like f’s (“somefing”/“nofing”/“finking”) ((Stress also does this))

His jokes/teasing are very deadpan (“I made you this extra thing, because you’re trash at this”)

Actually gives gifts of resources very often, and always leaves it with a little note and signs his name

His voice gets higher pitched when he’s defensive/being extremely cheeky but other than that his tone rarely changes

This man. Flirts so much. If any other person initiates even the slightest of flirty banter he takes that and dials it to eleven I cannot believe this is a straight married man sometimes

Joel commits to the bit 100% of the time (slightly related to above), unless of course it’s jokes about his height

Makes a point to compliment himself if he gets the chance (words most often used are “handsome” “strong” and “humble”, as well as comments about his muscles and physique)

Insults his enemies diminutively (“look at you down there, tiny idiot”/“You’re wrong and also weak”) ((seen most often in Empires SMP)

His most often used insult is “idiot”

When he’s flustered/frustrated he uses “bloody” a lot (ie “bloody heck” or “this bloody thing” (loves to toe the PG line), also uses “blooming” (“bloomin’ heck”)

Most often used exclamation is also “WHAT?!”

Bdubs

Opens videos very jovially, talks almost like a radio host

Breaks down his builds down to the block, spends a lot of time discussing his block pallet choices and giving tips while he builds

Uses the affirmation “sure enough” a lot, and often addresses himself as “Ol’ Bdubs”

Talks affectionately about other hermits often (“[name], the absolute sweetheart, left me some materials”, “[name], you angel!”)

Adding to above, “angel” or “sweet angel” seems to be his most often used affectionate terms

Switches on a dime, though, if he gets offended (which of course causes others to poke fun at him even more)

Calls mobs “stupid” a lot when they don’t do what he wants (but takes it back if he says it to one of his horses ex. “Come here, stupid—wonderful, I mean, beautiful”)

THIS MAN IS THE #1 HORSE ENJOYER. He gets a horse first thing every season and rides it everywhere, and they’re always a focal point of his theme or builds in some regard

Pauses whatever he’s doing to sleep as soon as it’s possible, and gets very antsy if he can’t do it for some reason (“One moment, time to shreep!”)

Related to above, EVERYONE messes with him if he’s trying to sleep in their presence ie breaking his bed over and over, and he gets increasingly more frustrated when it happens

Rarely is soft spoken or quiet, he projects his voice and uses a lot of emphasis in his tone

Either straight up screams (and peaks the mic 😭) if he’s startled or scared, or yells “oh my GOODNESS!!”

Number one exclamation is “HEY!”

[stevieschrodinger]

Part One

There’s a Beta standing in Eddie’s doorway. She’s slim, choppy ginger hair and red boots poking out from under the cuffs of her denim dungarees – Eddie likes her pretty much immediately.

She’s holding a plate.

She hasn’t managed to speak yet, but from down the hall, Eddie hears a voice hiss, “Robin!”

They both turn to look. The Omega of Eddie’s dreams face and...tummy...are both poking out of the doorway. He looks mortified.

“So sorry,” the Beta starts, “Steve was too embarrassed to come and ask a second time, but he’s basically had his nose pressed to the door for the past half an hour so…” she holds out the plate.

From down the hall, very faintly, the Omega, who Eddie now knows must be called ‘Steve,’ whines, “why are you like this,” and then clicks the door shut.

“I’m Robin, by the way,” and she holds out her non plate hand to shake.

Eddie ends up shaking one hand and taking the plate from the other. Eddie knew, objectively, that Steve must have a partner, but he still has to squish the disappointment of meeting them. “Eddie...just, give me a second. It’s chicken parm.”

Eddie goes and dishes up a portion, it was going to be tomorrows lunch but...he can’t deny the pretty little Omega anything. Maybe he should start cooking extra extras, even if Steve doesn’t come knocking, at least it’s a meal he can have another time.

“This is one of his favorites, no wonder he was so restless about it.”

“Yeah, well, anytime,” and Eddie could add that Robin should be making Steve’s favorites, but he doesn’t because he’s pretty sure Robin is cool and he already knows Steve is sweet and he’s just not that kind of person.

Much.

“I’m sorry, you’ve done what to the pulled pork?”

“Orange and Oregano, trust me Henderson, I’m about to blow your mind.”

“Uh hu, and someone else's by the look of it, you’ve cooked enough for us and that Omega guy twice over.” Eddie just rolls his eyes. “You got all your shit put away then?”

“Pretty much, and leave that alone.”

Dustin huffs but puts the spoon down and replaces the lid on the crock pot, “what are we having with it?”

“Was going to do dirty fries.”

“Oh my god. You’re a saint. A hero. You should be knighted like ye olde dragon-slayers of yore-”

“Yeah yeah, this will not score you any extra loot later.”

“Mayhap a smidgen of exper-” Dustin stops at the sound of knocking, looking to the door. “Is it your Omega?” He whisper hisses at Eddie.

“He’s not mine, he’s got a girlfriend,” Eddie whisper hisses back.

Doesn’t stop him pulling his shirt straight and tugging at his jeans and fluffing his hair real quick on the way to the door. All of that is kind of...reflexive, though.

Dustin’s smirk is actually slap worthy, and Eddie will get to that right after he answers the door.

“I am so sorry about this,” Steve is saying before Eddie even has the door fully open, “and I know you said you didn’t want anything, but I thought I could at least contribute.” He’s holding two plates, one empty, one stacked up with cookies, “they’re Reese’s.”

And Eddie’s mouth is watering, not just from the scent of Steve, but because he can see the chunks of partially melted Reese's pieces sticking out of the cookies, “they look incredible, thank you,” Eddie takes both plates, “it’s not actually ready yet, can I drop it by in like, thirty minutes?”

“Oh you are my hero,” Steve beams at him. It’s a happy smile, a smile that comes with the scent of pleased Omega. Happy Omega. Happy Omega with pup. The kind of smile and scent that digs it’s hooks deep into Eddie’s brain and fucking yanks.

“It’s pulled pork, would you rather fries or rice?” Eddie finds himself asking, completely on auto pilot.

“Whatever is easiest. Whatever you were already planning. Thank you so so much Eddie.”

Eddie watches Steve waddle back to his apartment down the hall before he turns, a plate in each hand, and nudges the door closed with his foot.

“Thank you so much Eddie. I made you cookies Eddie,” Dustin simpers from the couch, before making kissey noises.

“Oh shut the fuck up.”

Eddie stands in the hallway in his crocs. His apartment is new, so he has a strict no shoes policy; but he has a pair of crocs for in the hall and heading outside real quick. Also, they're comfortable as fuck, so Eddie refuses to be judged.

Especially since they’re black, and Dustin got him all these little button things that pop in the holes. Little swords and shields and D20’s and stuff. So they’re super cool.

Steve opens the door, wincing, one hand resting on the small of his back, but his face blooms back into the beautiful smile at the sight of Eddie. It does something, very briefly, to Eddie. That reaction. And then he viciously reminds himself that the reaction was for Eddie’s food and not at all for Eddie himself.

Steve goes to take the plate but, “it’s hot, I warmed the plate up in the stove, let me put it down somewhere for you?” A trick Eddie learned in his month of working in a kitchen one Christmas when he was a teenager, but it never left him, and he didn't want Steve’s dinner to go cold.

“Oh, gosh, you’re so thoughtful Eddie, come right in.”

Eddie’s heart gives a little flutter at Steve’s praise, and Steve shifts out of the way, letting Eddie into an apartment that’s a mirror of his own. It’s very neat and tidy inside; everything very clearly has a place. Nothing looks brand new, but everything does look well cared for.

Steve directs Eddie to the little two seater dining table, where there’s a place set. It’s so freaking adorable, a place mat with flowers and kittens printed on it, a white folded napkin, cutlery and a glass of juice set out. A single daffodil in a tiny vase.

Eddie puts the plate down carefully, turning to see Steve blushing furiously. “Sorry, I don’t get out much and I wanted to make it nice.”

“Don’t be sorry, it’s cute,” Eddie says, even as he feels himself grow irritated yet again with Robin, Steve’s nose twitches, eyeing Eddie with concern, so he does his best to push it down, “well,” Eddie tries his best to be cheerful, “I really hope you enjoy it. Maybe your girlfriend will take you out tomorrow?” He tries to say that with no hint of spite whatsoever.

Steve blinks at him, “girlfriend?”

“Robin? I thought...aren’t you two..?”

Steve snorts a laugh, actually ugly laughs and snorts like a cute little piggy and has to bring his hand up to his face to try and hide his reaction, “no. No, she’s my best friend. She’s home with her girlfriend.”

“Oh.” Eddie says, processing, “oh. Right sorry, I just, assumed…” he can’t stop his eyes from, briefly, flicking to Steve’s tummy.

“It’s okay,” Steve’s smiling at him, “you can ask.”

“Well...I mean when I thought you were with Robin I just assumed you’d used a donor or…”

“Yep!” Steve pops the ‘P’. “I did do that, and I did go to the appointments with Robin, but I’m single. Going it alone.”

And then Steve does quite possibly the sexiest thing Eddie’s ever seen in his entire life; he bares his throat, “see, no bite.”

Eddie has to clear his throat and shift a little where he's standing, lest his inconvenient biological reaction become overly obvious, “why did you decide to, uhm…”

Steve shrugs, smiling happily, “guess I just never was lucky enough to meet the right Alpha.”

And then Steve’s tummy rumbles very aggressively.

“I’ll let you eat your-”

“Gosh excuse me I’m-”

They speak at the same time, and then both end up laughing.

“I’ll leave you to your dinner,”

“Thanks again Eddie, I really do appreciate it.”

Part three

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

Yuu is Loopy and Doesn't Recognize Them

Based of this meme I saw and I couldn't get it out of my head

GN. Yuu isn’t drunk but is loopy on potions/meds. A bit Suggestive??? Leona calls you Scavenger/Pillow Enjoy

Riddle 

Riddle swore that when he sees Ace again, it will be off with his head. The brain dead idiot is responsible for landing you in the nurse's office. Thankfully, according to Professor Crewel, you will be okay and were ready to go back to Ramshackle. 

Being the responsible boyfriend he is, he made sure to take your arm and guide you through the mirror to Ramshackle and into the creaky dorm. You were obviously still a bit out of it as you stumbled through the hall and didn’t appear to hear anything he said. As he approached the stairs, wondering how he would get you into your room did you speak.

“Where are we going?” You slurred rubbing your temples with your fingers. “To your room,” Riddle answered. “Rose, can you hear me now?” Riddle asked, voice tinged with worry. “Why are we going…” you paused trying to formulate words, “…to some room?” Riddle raised a brow and spoke slowly, relaxing his grip on your arm as he did so. “You need to get some rest, don’t worry I’ll make sure you sleep well, okay?"

To his confusion, you suddenly pulled away from him and stumbled back a little. “Ah, Rose what are you—“ “Sorry you seem really nice and all but I have a boyfriend.” “Huh?!” Stumbling backward away from Riddle you practically fell onto the couch behind you. “Sorry I’m not gonna sleep with anyone, I have a boyfriend…” You slurred again, making Riddle stiffen before going pink and letting out a chuckle. 

“Rose, I am your—“ “Goodnight” You whispered before promptly passing out on the couch. Riddle just stood there for a moment stupified, before softly chuckling to himself. You really did love him, huh?

Leona

“What's wrong with you?” Leona asked upon seeing Ruggie drag his seemingly blitzed-out partner behind them into his room. “I dunno what happened but Professor Crewel said to let them rest,” Ruggie responded. “So you brought them to me?” Ruggie’s face fell, he knew damn well if he were the one to take you home that Leona would have complained. “Well, they’re your problem now shishishi! Good luck”

Letting out a yawn, Leona looked over to where you stood wobbling. “Come here, Pillow.” The lion leaned up and pulled you toward the bed. You weakly tried to pull your hand away. “Eh? What gives?” Leona’s ears twitch as you stumble back. “My boyfriend will get upset if he sees you holding my hand. “Oh yeah?” The lion smirked.

“Yeah, and I’m not a cheater either so leave me alone.” You mutter, eyes fluttering as you fight off sleep. Leona pulls you closer to him easily. “I am your boyfriend.” The shocked expression that arises on your face is one he will never forget. “No way that's awesome!”

“Yeah yeah, get to bed, scavenger.” He smirks, pulling you into his arms. As you fade into unconsciousness, he watches over you. Just how did he get so lucky?

Azul

Azul didn’t know who he should be mad at: Jade for feeding you some mysterious mushroom concoction that he sure would have no side effects or you for actually agreeing to test out Jade’s new drink. Regardless you are now in the VIP room of Mostro Lounge as Azul goes through some of the potions he has on hand. 

Sitting on the VIP couch you watched as Azul kneeled beside you. The mer fussed over you as you seemingly stared through him. Despite his lips moving you couldn’t hear anything he said. “Um, Angelfish are you alright?” Azul asks nervously as your eyes bore a hole through him.

“You kinda look like… my boyfriend…” you slur. If he wasn’t worried sick, he would have actually found the situation humorous, dumbfounded he responded. “Well, what does he look like?” “He’s so beautiful, man.” You sigh.

Azul feels his cheeks heat up as he uncorks a curing potion, wondering how he’s going to get you to drink it. “Like… I love him so much… He’s so pretty and soft and I wanna hold him…” “… Come now love, try and drink this and then rest…” The mer stutters and holds the bottle to your lips. Thankfully, you downed it pretty easily and promptly fell asleep muttering about how much you loved your boyfriend the whole time. Azul’s face was several shades of blue.

Jamil

Vil ended up poisoning you pretty badly during his overblot, and Jamil has been worried sick, to say the least as he sits beside your bed in the nurse's office, impatiently waiting for you to wake up. As you begin to stir, all of Jamil’s attention snaps to you.

“Yuu?” He calls out, giving you a few moments to stir and wake up. You blink tiredly at him before sitting up and looking around. Jamil wanted to crush you into a hug and ask if you were alright but knew that it may overwhelm you.

“Are you alright?” He asks, taking your hands into his as the heart monitor continues to beep. You blink owlishly and look at your hands. “I have a boyfriend.” You say after a while. Jamil didn’t know if he should be annoyed or amused, but it did flatter him to know how loyal you are to him.

A mischievous glint appears in his eye. “I am your boyfriend.” Your eyes widen as the heart monitor picks up, beeping loudly as you smile. “I love you…” You slur, trying to lean into your lover's touch.

Vil

After a certain Shroud’s overblot, you were left hospitalized in a coma for a week. Vil was worried sick and visited you as much as he could, if he couldn't be there, Rook would watch over you for him. When he saw a text notification for Rook saying you were awake, he went to visit you immediately.

Rook didn’t have time to warn Vil about your condition as he walked in and immediately held your face, looking deep into your eyes before hugging you, body shaking as he held onto you. “You’re awake…” He says after a long pause.

You pull away from Vil, and the blond gets ready to scold you for your reckless behavior until he notices your expression. "I have… a boyfriend named Vil… sorry…" you babble before passing out again. Vil would make sure to scold you later

Idia

He was confused when he saw Ortho holding your hand and guiding you to his room. He didn't know how to explain it, but as he watched you through the camera feed something about your movements felt… off

Once Ortho dragged you into his room did he figure out what was wrong? "It's the side effect of their medication," Ortho said after explaining how you ended up in the nurse's room— why did they even discharge you in this state??

Idia groaned and started to clean off his bed to make room for you, before getting up and helping Ortho to guide you over to his bed. "Come on Yuu-shi the sooner you sleep the better." You didn't budge. Instead, you stared through him. Idia stared back awkwardly.

"You seem nice but I already have a boyfriend and I love him." Idia's hair flushed pink. "Eh? What did you say?" "I love my boyfriend and only him so I can't sleep with you…" 

You instead sit down slowly and lay on the floor, immediately falling asleep much to Ortho's confusion and Idia's embarrassment.

Malleus

"Oh dear, what happened to you?" Malleus asked as you stumbled up the path to Ramshackle. It was supposed to be your nightly walk together but you didn't look so good.

You didn't respond as you allowed Malleus to help guide you into Ramshackle and onto the couch. After a moment Malleus asks again, "Mind telling me what happened to you?"

"No worries, I happen to have a recovery spell I can use…" Malleus hums, preparing a spell. "You sound like my boyfriend…" Malleus chuckles. "Is that so Child of Man?" You lazily nod. "He's my most favorite person in the entire world…" you yawn, and Malleus can only admire you, lovestruck. 

"I don't think Jade made me the right tea…" you mutter as you lay down. Malleus makes sure to note that he would have to pay a visit to Jade later as he frets over you.

[fangirl-dot-com]

Incorrect Quotes - Part 2

All of these were taken from Pinterest - again, I am not this funny

Special thank you to @sinfully-yoursss for asking for another one!

Max: Do you ever do anything except whine like a little bitch?  Y/n: Sometimes I whine like a BIG bitch 

Arthur (propping his feet up on a table): So, I heard you like bad boys Y/n: What? No??? Arthur (immediately taking his feet off the table): Oh thank God, that felt terrible 

Christian: Where’s Y/n and the child?  Toto: Y/n is teaching him how to drive Christian: Y/n never learned to drive??????

*Meanwhile*

Y/n: So there’s two pedals. Sometimes three but you can ignore the left one  Kimi: I don’t think…. Y/n: the lines on the road are more like suggestions than anything, like the speed limit Kimi: Are you positive that… Y/n: I’m not sure how to turn on the blinkers. Ready?  Kimi: Uhhhhh Y/n (shouting): GO GO GO GO  Kimi (screaming) *floors it* 

Nurse: I’m sorry sir, we can only allow family to see Miss L/n at this time  Christian: bold of you to assume I won’t legally adopt her right now  Y/n (sleepy, inside the hospital wing): you tell ‘em dad! 

Max: Your honor, my client is ready  Judge: And what does the defendant plead?  Max (mouthing the words): not guilty  Y/n (squinting at Max): hot milky Max (facepalms): take her away 

Y/n: Deck the halls with crippling depression  Charles: Fa la la la la, la la la la  Y/n: ‘Tis the season for emotional suppression  Arthur: Fa la la la la, la la la la  Max (passing through): what??? 

Y/n (on the phone): Hey Lance, can Arthur and I borrow $5000?  Lance: Why the hell do you need $5000?!  Y/n: For an escape room.  Lance: What kind of escape room costs 5 grand??  Y/n:  Y/n: Jail.

Max (answers phone): hello?  Y/n: It’s Y/n Max: What did she do this time  Y/n: no, it’s me, Max  Max: what did you do this time 

Y/n (on the floor): Go on…without me! Lando (crying while kneeling beside her): No! We can get through this together, just like we always do!  Y/n: There’s no time! You must defend our honor. Don’t let my death be for nothing!  Lando (sobbing): I can’t do this without you!  Y/n: Goodbye, old friend….(goes limp) Oscar (whispering to Max): They do realize this is just a dodgeball game, right?   Max (aiming at Lando): Oscar, this is war. Show no mercy. 

Oscar: One day, someone will think about you for the last time in eternity. You will be forgotten by the world  Y/n: not if I eat the Mona Lisa 

Yuki: I’m small but knowing  Y/n: You don’t be knowing what the top shelf looks like  Yuki:  Y/n:  Yuki: Bitch 

Y/n: Go big or go home! Vito (tears in his eyes): I am begging you, Y/n. For once in your life, go home. Just this once. Go. Home.  Y/n: I’m gonna go big

Y/n: I will do a lot of thing. But admitting I’m cold to Max after he told me to bring a jacket isn’t one of them 

Max: I sleep with a knife beside my bed  Carlos: I have a machete under my bed  Logan: I have a gun under my pillow  Arthur: Weak. Pathetic. All of you  Max: And what deadly weapon do you sleep with?  Arthur (putting on shades): Y/n 

Arthur: I will speak French between your legs  Y/n: That is the hottest thing I’ve ever been told  Lando: I’m just imagining someone screaming “Bonjour” to a dick Daniel: SACRE BLEAU MADEMOISELLE HON HON HON TITTY CROISSANTS  Logan (wheezing): TITTY CROISANTS  Max: None of you should ever be having sex 

Y/n: Hey do you know anyone who can teach me how to play the trumpet?  Alex: Why? Y/n: I wanna wander around the paddock and annoy Esteban  Logan: Technically, you don’t actually need to know how to play it for that  Y/n: You have opened my eyes Logan 

Max (not looking up from his book): what did he do now?  Y/n: HE SMILED  Max: At you?  Y/n: No, at Oscar and Ollie but HE LOOKS LIKE AN ANGEL  Max: go away  Y/n: shut up, I watched you pine over Charles for months – let me have this  Max: carry on 

Arthur: I came up with a brilliant idea for a prank  Y/n: Ooh, what is it?  Arthur: We should kiss.  Y/n: …I don’t get it  Arthur: Think about it! Imagine Max and Charles come into the garage, only to find us making out, hands all over each other. You can sit in my lap and we’ll really just go to town. Max will be like “WHAAAAAAA” and Charles might even faint!  Y/n: Oh, that’s hilarious! We totally should 

Esteban: The math problem isn’t so hard, it’s just a simple repetition of-  Y/n (frustrated): You’re a simple repetition  Esteban:  Y/n:  Charles: Did Y/n really just hurt Esteban’s feelings  Max: I’m so freakin proud 

Y/n (googling): snake bite leg what to do  Google: elevate and apply pressure  Y/n (lifting the snake really high): apologize or else 

Y/n: with all due respect  Y/n: Y/n: which is none 

Toto: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be? Kimi: Maybe a little tipsy?  George: Drunk.  Y/n: Wasted.  Lewis: Dead. 

Esteban: Could you at least try to be nice?  Y/n: You’re still breathing. That’s me being nice. 

Oscar: Hey do you have a bag I can borrow?  Zhou: The only bags I have are the ones under my eyes, and they’re specifically designed to carry the burden of my existence  Oscar: Literally all you had to do was say no 

Max (at Y/n’s funeral): Can I have a moment alone with her?  Arthur: Of course *leaves*  Max (leaning over the coffin): Now listen, I know you’re not dead  Y/n: no duh 

Y/n: Ow!  Oscar: You dislocated your shoulder. Want me to pop it back in?  Y/n (grimacing): Yeah…okay Oscar: All right, on 3….0, 1 *pops shoulder back in*  Y/n: MOTHERFU- WHO THE HELL STARTS AT 0 

Yuki: Hey Y/n, did you eat all the powdered donuts?  Y/n: …No?  Yuki: Then what’s that white powder on your pants Y/n (panicking): cocaine

Y/n: Max, I think you should play the role of my father  Max: I don’t want to be your father Y/n: That’s perfect. You already know your lines 

Lando: Can I be frank with you guys?  Y/n: I don’t know how changing your name is going to help us here, but sure?  Charles: Wait, can I still be Charles?  Oscar: Shh, let Frank speak. 

Lewis: I have a bad feeling about this.  Y/n: What do you mean?  Lewis: Don’t you ever have that little voice in your head that tells you if something is going to get you in trouble?  Y/n: no  Lewis: That explains so much 

Y/n: What do you call a fish with no eye (i)?  Oscar (not looking up from his book): myxine circifrons Y/n:  Y/n: fsh  

George: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?  Y/n: Figuratively or literally?  George: Y/n, honestly, the fact that I have to specify 

Mitch: I know you took the last Red Bull Y/n Y/n (internally): play dumb  Y/n: Who’s Y/n?  Y/n (internally): not that dumb! 

Y/n: Big mood  Fernando: What does that mean…big mood?  Y/n: Uh well, it kind of means like, me too, I guess  Fernando: Thanks 

*1 week later before a race in the rain* 

Oscar: I’m kind of worried about this race guys  Fernando: Big mood, Piastri, big mood  Oscar: Y/n what did you do? 

Charles: What’s worse than a DNF at a home race? Y/n: realizing that dragons can’t blow out their birthday candles  Charles:  Charles: mate 

Y/n: You know what? Underneath it all, you’re actually quite nice  Max: Repeat that disgusting slander and you’ll be hearing from my lawyers 

Carlos: Now that I have explained the answer to this problem to you for ten minutes, do you understand?  Y/n: Yes.  Carlos:…Are you lying to me?  Y/n: Yes. 

Christian: Y/n, it’s your turn to give the pre-race talk  Y/n (claps hands): Fuck shit up, hit some barriers, run Charles off the road, don’t die  Max (proudly): succinct and informative 

Max: The FIA really seems to hate us  Charles: Maybe they’re homophobic  Max: We’re not a couple Charles  Charles: We’re not  Y/n: You’re not? 

Vito: Why is Y/n in the bathroom on the floor crying?  Max: She’s drunk  Vito: And? Mitch: She heard that Arthur has a girlfriend  Vito:…but she is Arthur’s girlfriend  Max: Yeah, we know that 

Max (wears lighter skinny jeans and a brighter blue Red Bull polo) Y/n: I see you’re busting out the spring colors 

Oscar: How do you two normally get out of these types of messes?  Lando: We don’t.  Y/n: We just make a bigger mess that cancels out the first one 

*Valentines Day* 

Arthur (reading Y/n’s texts): Y/n just said she’s going to give me 102 minutes of pleasure tonight Max: Oh wow

*Later watching Cars 2* 

Y/n: You look disappointed 

Y/n: Chillax!  Oscar: that’s not a word  Y/n: Sometimes the ones who deny “chillax” are the ones who need to chillax the most

Y/n: You know, water is pretty crazy. It can boil you to death, freeze you to death, drown you, or spin your car out of control, throw you into the barriers and kill you. But you still need it to survive  Max: Y/n, I love you, but its 3 AM 

Christian: Y/n, a word.  Y/n: BALLOON 

Max: I have the sharpest memory! Name one time I forgot something  Y/n: You left Charles in a Walmart like three weeks ago  Max: I did that on purpose, try again 

Vito: Y/n isn’t answering her phone  Arthur: I’ll call  Vito: Max and I have both tried, along with everyone else on the grid. What make you think she’ll answer?  *Calls her anyway* Y/n: Hello? 

Y/n: Oi, where’s your boyfriend?  Max: Who?  Y/n: Charles, where is he?  Max: He’s not my boyfriend Y/n: Have you told him that? 

Fan: Max, what motivates you?  Max: My ambition and desire to push forward no matter what  Fan: Y/n, what about you?  Y/n: An unhealthy mix of spite, pettiness, the thirst for vengeance, and pure, relentless rage. That and a Red Bull in the morning 

TAG LIST: @fionaschicken @glitterquadricorn @laura-naruto-fan1998 @treehouse-mouse @sam-is-lost @kagatinkita @fangirl125reader @megatrilss1885 @myxticmoon @angsthology @cmleitora @fly-me-away @graciewrote @ashy-kit @slutofmultifandom @aexitizen-ln4 @sugarvibez @vellicora @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @33-81 @hoetel-manager @xcharlottemikaelsonx @jayda12 @ilove-tswizzle @justme2042 @itsjustkhaos @nikfigueiredo @stopeatread @cha-hot @sadg3 @iloveyou3000morgan @s4turnsl0ver @alessioayla @torchbearerkyle @leptitlu @awekbachira @shreks-sugar-daddy @v1naco @stan-josie @mellowarcadefun @badassturtle13 @beskardroids @callisposts @poppyalice2001 @juniper-july19 @lizzypiastri

[gothwineaunts]

Wow, hello!

So, I was actually feeling pretty motivated to write this post yesterday. But things have gotten exponentially worse, and I admit the pressure is getting to me. There seem to be a ton of expectations surrounding what I should be saying here, in order to… I guess, absolve myself? As if there’s a checklist people want me to go through to perform the “perfect” creator apology. But, I don’t see the point. I care a lot about this community and I think you deserve something a lot more sincere than some hollow chat-gpt apology. I understand that that’s foolish, on my part. Things are done that way so often because they work. But what you’ll find throughout this post, is that I’m kind of an idiot about some things. I’m stubborn and hard-headed and a little bit pretentious. And so, what I’m planning to do here is to simply tell you the truth about what happened. No cherry picking. All my mistakes, but also the context that goes with them. And at the end, my formal apology. This is a long and winding tale with a lot of characters. I’m going to be sharing some usernames as we go, in the interest of clarity and transparency. You’ll understand why with the context. But please do not seek these people out. Don’t pick fights with them. It will only make everything worse, for all involved.

Cool? Cool. But first I need to address the elephant in the room. This will probably seem like irrelevant drama at first, but this is the nuance and background that I wasn’t adequately able to articulate the night before last. In more ways than one, this is a story told in twos. The first set of twos is you, the readers. Who you are, and what you’re hoping to find out in this post.

1.      The overwhelming majority of you, are earnestly wanting to understand what has happened in the Nevermore Discord. You are concerned that I am not who you hoped I was. You are disappointed, and I understand why. To you, I am so sorry. I want to say that things are not as bad as they seem, but that is not for me to decide. You will need to draw your own conclusions from the words I write. And I understand, whatever you choose to do next.

2.      And there is a small, but incredibly vocal minority of people who are absolutely living for this. They are spreading complete fabrications with no screenshots to speak of. Horrible, horrible accusations. People who are more excited about watching a dumpsterfire than they are about the series that brought them here in the first place. I’m not going to attempt to cater to those people in this post. Because nothing will ever be good enough. Everything that can be taken in bad faith will be taken in bad faith. It would be pointless. But you’ll see them in the comments and reblogs. This is a known group to not only myself, but many others. I will share some of their names in a later section so you know who to watch for. They will make a lot of noise around this post because they’ve been trying to make something like this happen for actual years. And now that I had a genuinely concerning response that good people reasonably want me to explain, they’re lunging at the chance to throw absolutely anything at the wall. It’s parasocial levels of hatred. This is some deep and horrible lore.

The next set of twos is how two things can be true at the same time. And that is exactly what is going on here, in this situation. Let me be really clear, because I don’t want either truth to be lost in my explanation as they are intrinsically linked to one another.

1.      I did a downright terrible job explaining myself in the Discord when people started asking about crimson. I can give you all kinds of contributing factors for this, and I might later. But none of them really matter. It was incredibly careless of me to use “egging them on” and “cried wolf”  to describe what I understood. At the time I was really laser-focused on expressing what happened as simply and quickly as possible because the channel replies were paused and I felt like everyone was just waiting for me to be finished with my message. But after stepping back, I immediately understood how badly I messed up, because of course these idioms are routinely weaponized against survivors of SA and CSA. That is not how I intended to use them. It was an unfortunate case of one thing looking and sounding like another thing. Incredibly ham-fisted and irresponsible on my part. To the survivors who read my words and felt that it echoed their past experiences, I’m heartbroken that I did that to you. That lapse of judgement was a betrayal to both you and me. I don’t know where my head went, and I’m just blown away by my own lack of awareness in that message. So for that I am and will continue to be sorry.

2.      The second thing that can be true is that, while you are all absolutely owed an explanation and an apology, there are also some people amongst you who are using this fuck-up on my part as a springboard to take me down.  These people have been trying to get a call out post to pop off about me for at least a year, and they have been very quick to jump into the reblogs and comments about this very serious topic with complete lies and slander. Just, anything that might stick to the wall. We’ll address this later on as well. But please understand that me discussing the harassment I’ve faced from these groups is not at the expense of me also owning up to my faults and taking the proper accountability.

And the last set of twos is one I’ve alluded to in the first sets, concerning a pair of toxic side-servers that ran adjacent to the main Nevermore Discord. Completely unofficial cliques. And invisible to myself and Flynn and our mod team. We were eventually made aware that both of them were breaking laws and Discord ToS in ways that leaked into our server and affected our members negatively. As such, both groups were mass-banned. And the cliques are the ones running a majority of the discourse you’ve been seeing here, because while they are formally banned from the discord, we have absolutely no say in their participation on Tumblr. Now, keep in mind. Both of these groups were uncovered after crimson was banned the first time. That’s important later.

Clique #1

My understanding of the first group is that it started as a gaming server for people who met one another through the Nevermore Discord. I don’t know when or why it started being used to talk shit about other readers, but I do know that it got really vicious. And it was sort of an open secret for long before I knew anything about it. I found out after that there were a lot of people passively in this server, just observing. It was that much of a spectacle.

Now, this clique had been pretty rude. Like they’d try to start fights with me in the discord fairly often, both in the Patreon and free spaces. But it wasn’t grounds for dismissal until we found out about the baiting and the alts.  These people had a lot of grievances, but one really united them: they were extremely upset about anyone who would ship Prospero.

Many of you know, that Prospero is an aromantic character, canonically. And you may notice that canonically, he has no apparent love interest. But this group wanted to make sure other readers were not thinking about Prospero in relationships, or creating ship content of him for any reason on the grounds that it would be considered a “proship.” I told them (and I stand on this) that it’s not up to them to police the thoughts of other readers, and that aromantic people have widely varying lifestyles and experiences and do not need to be infantilized that way.

This turned out to be a bad move on my part, because it brought with it an onslaught of alt accounts coming in and "innocently" kicking up what I now refer to as the “prosp-aro” debate every time they had the chance. But because of this and what a common occurrence it was, we started being able to pick out the alts. And we realized that this group of people had been using the same alt accounts with different names to antagonize certain readers they’d decided they hated, and it had gone on for a long time.

I did a lot of investigative work in dms trying to figure out who all was responsible for the harassment, and settled on a list that was vetted by three different people who knew about the clique. And all three of these people insisted that, while Laci was in the group and in a lot of the screencaps saying pretty dubious things, that she was good people. So I believe them, and let Laci stay. This group was banned on April 3, 2024, and contained the following users:

-          lilnatx (nat)

-          suitino (sushi)

-          jj_the_jet_plane (layden)

-          rivsticks (jasper)

-          atheimee (athena)

-          jinxs.com (lanx/jinx)

-          smartestginger (nico)

-          thereallandofbugs (bugs)

-          rosienemui (rosie)

These were the names they were known by on the Discord. I don’t have the Tumblr accounts tied to these identities. But some might be the same. I know a lot of them are here.  It should be noted that jinx was later unbanned due to pressure from Laci that they had been banned in error, after the fact. We allowed them back in after a few days as a favor to Laci since the situation seemed like it was very stressful for her. This would prove to be yet another a mistake since, as you have probably seen in the screenshots from the night before last, jinx rapidly escalated things to another level while I was trying to figure out how to handle crimson’s unbanning and subsequent rebanning an hour later.

Clique #2

Phew. Still with me? Great. The second group we needed to ban was one that actually started long before the first one, but was a lot smaller and comparatively more subtle. This group, to my knowledge, cropped up around the time that ep. 39 of Nevermore was released. (11/10/22) We knew about this group but not who all was involved in it or in what capacity for a very long time. They would consistently post things on Tumblr trying to start a scandal. I recall posts alleging that we were racists, or SA apologists, or that we were sending death threats to a random confessions account.

To be clear, these allegations are completely false. This clique will say anything. Like a recent post one of them put up during this discourse said that hiwi (our mod) is both a r*pe apologist and a childhood friend of mine and that’s the only reason she hasn’t been banned. Hiwi is absolutely nothing of the sort, and I have never met her in person. In fact, she lives on the other side of the continent.

Now, this clique is a little different than the first. The first, to my knowledge, was a group of friends that got toxic and felt morally superior about their opinions and it all kind of got away from them. The vibe was a little catty, I guess. Gossipy. But this clique has more of a stalker vibe. It’s dark.

They’ve had it out specifically for me for as long as I can remember. And some of them (at least one, at all times) would subscribe to our patreon, both to sow dissent in our stream chats and also to leak literally all the content back to the others, including me talking about random shit like what I ate for lunch. Just so they could like. Laugh about it, I guess. I’ll never understand why. [Editing note: because in the final moments of proofreading this post I see one of these people has made some master post about what a terrible person I am? A lot of those screenshots are from Patreon channels and the guy STILL has them laying around. I’m telling you, they stole everything that wasn’t nailed down.] 

The biggest grievance this clique had is that any ship with Montresor is an “SA fetish ship” because to them he is a r*pist because of how he made Ada bark (?) and since Montrada is canon, that means we are supporters of SA, and that Morella and Ada should be together instead. Listen, I’ll level with you, this one baffles me. I don’t even know how to begin to untangle it. But if you see a lot of vitriol about us being SA apologists from these users, it’s because Montresor exists. That’s pretty much it.

You can ask them for screencaps ‘til you’re blue in the face, but unless they build fake ones from the ground up, they’re never going to be able to back up their wild claims. Simply put, they’re provocateurs, and they use the scariest words they can to whip people up into a panic.

We became aware that they were leaking patreon content when one of them was caught publicly referring to things that were being said behind a paywall when we knew they weren’t a patron. It unraveled from there.  People who knew about their antics shared screenshots and information with us, and we finally realized the scope of the clique’s hatred and banned whoever was even left in the Nevermore Discord. But they continue to be active in the community on tumblr. You’ll have seen them around. They were banned on 5/11/2024 and the names involved are as follows (again, a mishmash of discord names, nicknames, and tumblr accounts):

- percy (gremlinguy145 on tumblr)

- queenmorningrose (annabel-lee-nevermore on tumblr)

- spoopycactus630 (spoopy-nevermore-dump on tumblr)

- grif/horrorshow (conscience-grim on tumblr)

- unreqiknizd

- duke aralt (westofthestyx)

- eden (sapphic-mad-scientist on tumblr)

- priemium

Again I’d like to reiterate. The point in sharing these names is not to incite any sort of response against these people. But they are folding themselves into the fray and doing what they can to whip everyone else up into a mob, and all as we’re talking about a discord server that they have been banned from for months now. The above context is also relevant for the next section, which is why you’re all here in the first place.

What the hell happened with Crimson?

I hope it’s not confusing, but now we’re going back to 3/14/2024, before anything I just outlined above had come to light. The cliques were quietly doing their harassment and baiting and raiding and whatever-the-hell behind the scenes, but Flynn and I and the mods were blissfully unaware of how bad it was getting. We get a dm from Laci. The same Laci who was part of Clique #1 and was rescued from being banned with the others by her friends outside the group. Jinx’s friend, who managed to get them unbanned as well. You have probably seen these screencaps already, but I will show them to you again, just in case.

Sufficed to say, we were immediately alarmed by the information Laci shared in her DM with us. Now, I want to be very clear about this because it’s been lost in the game of telephone. What Laci outlines in her dm to me, were the events that occurred between six users (including crimson) in a group chat with minors. Everyone in the evidence was censored (pfp and username), as was the image that crimson showed them. When I asked, Laci agreed to give me one name of one of the minors in the dm. I’ll call them Alice, but that is not their real name. I asked if I could talk to Alice about this, I was told by Laci, no. Alice doesn’t want to talk. I was like, ok I understand, that’s fine. 

I hope it makes sense when I say that it is not feasible for us to moderate the things that happen in peoples’ dms. As you’ve seen above, the mod team doesn’t usually get involved with drama unless whatever is happening is directly affecting the experience people are having in the Nevermore Discord because that is all we can see and the only place we have any real authority.  But this was obviously a special case. We banned crimson very quickly without asking any follow-up questions, because of course we did!? I’ve seen people say I’m harboring or defending crimson or that we’re buddies but we barely spoke, ever. They were a stranger to me then, and they still are now.

But something about the entire situation wasn’t adding up to me. And I want to be clear that none of this is in any way meant to discredit csa survivors, I’m really just trying to put you in my headspace and walk you through my thought process. But I found that the evidence was just, sort of strange. Laci started her dm explaining that she found this information out because she and a group of people were investigating crimson for ‘art tracing’ which felt, to me, like a bizarre non-sequitur and totally irrelevant next to the evidence of them showing nsfw content to minors. Petty, kind of. Like I wanted to ask – why were you doing that in the first place? People trace Flynn’s art all the time. As long as they’re not selling it, it’s not a big deal.

Most of the crops are from a PC but the windows are oddly small, and only contain a couple messages at a time. Some have American formatted time and some have European formatted time. So different users, I assume? The names were blotted out, which I would understand for a public call-out but not for a private report to the mod team. Laci was not in this gc at any point in time, despite being the one to report. 

One of the users was apparently 12, to which I ask – what is a 12-year-old doing on discord at all? If we knew who they were, we would have reported the account. Discord is not a safe place for a child that age, let alone a small group chat. Along with 18-year-old Crimson, there was also a 22- and 17-year-old in the chat, which left us wondering – why hadn’t anything been done?

I had no evidence that anyone ever told crimson they were minors, and I feel if it existed, it would have been in the screencap dump (I find that sometimes a noticeable lack of key evidence is evidence in itself). No one seems to have tried to kick crimson from the group chat or report their account for inappropriate behavior. Then there’s the fact that this is a group chat. Anyone in it can leave at any time. 

Then I came across the messages that started this whole gc, and it only got stranger when I realized Alice started it, called it “Women Lovers” and created it “so we can talk about Nevermore women without having to filter ourselves” after they all reacted to a sultry but sfw drawing of Lenore that crimson had made and posted in our hideout channel. And all that made me wonder why Alice didn’t just kick crimson, if she had admin power?  Do you see what I mean? It’s just all a bit head tilty. I noticed it at the time. But I said nothing. Because it didn’t matter. Crimson, no matter what happened, exposed minors to nsfw content. And that’s on them. And I’ve never in my life defended it. We banned them.

Crimson was beside herself. She came off humiliated and apologetic, and insisted she had no idea and begged to come back to a community she said she loved. But we told her no, there’s no coming back from doing what she did.

Time passes and we uncover Clique #1. And while we figured out who the main players were, I dmed with Laci. And it was Laci herself, who tells me that it was Alice who made most of Clique #1’s alt accounts, and that it was Alice who used those alt accounts to harass people and try to get them to start fights or say something that might get them in trouble. 

And I’ll be honest with you, the mod team still didn’t think much of it, outside of – we need to figure out which accounts were the alts. So we did. We had several confirmed to us.  And those accounts were zeroing in on certain users that the clique didn’t like. At the time we noticed two notable targets in addition to the mod team. I won’t name them, it’s their business if they want to weigh in about all that. But in screencaps, they’ll be labeled Target #1 and Target #2.

More time passes and Clique #2 comes to light. As you can imagine, by now we’re feeling disillusioned, and very tired of trying to moderate shit we cannot see for ourselves. And that’s when crimson comes back to very hesitantly ask if they might be able to appeal their ban. It wasn’t until then that it occurred to us that Laci (on behalf of Alice) was the only one who ever reported anything to us about Crimson. 

And I want to just say that again. Because it’s gotten lost too. Laci was the only person who ever reported Crimson. There was not one single other person who ever sent a modmail or a dm or even a ping to anybody on the mod team. I have since (only yesterday) seen some screencaps that are rather skin crawly, but even those happened in yet another side server. Thinking on this, the mods went back through the known alt accounts Alice had used. And they found that Alice harassed crimson both on her main account and on the same alt accounts that she used to harass the other targets.

By now, Alice is banned for completely unrelated reasons. Not because of what happened with Crimson. I’ve seen that one flying around and I’m sorry it’s just not true. It’s because she was relentlessly harassing and cyberbullying people in the discord we moderate. Laci is still there, but had lost my trust, for being involved with both the drama I’ve mentioned here and more that I don’t care to dip into. It’s ultimately irrelevant. But what am I going to say to Laci? “Hey, did you and Alice, by any chance, coordinate some kind of bizarre trap together to get crimson banned from the discord because you suspected them of tracing their art?” And once again. Because I want to keep this top of mind. Even if that were the case, it doesn’t make what Crimson did alright, and it never will. Sharing nsfw content in front of minors is a disgusting thing to do. And one that we frankly are really irritating about in the moderation of the discord. I’ve heard people say that we over-moderate when it comes to art. 

But all this stuff about a “known pedophile?” If it was known, then we were on the outs. And to even this minute right now, I don’t have any conclusive evidence that Crimson is a pedophile. The evidence I have is that Crimson shared nsfw with a group of people whose ages they did not know. Which is fucking gross. It’s an adult’s responsibility to make sure they’re speaking with other adults before posting things of that nature. 

But at the time, the way I read the situation is that Crimson had only just stopped being a minor and was egregiously negligent in how they were speaking and what they were posting, likely in part due to them not being aware enough of their adult responsibilities.  And hey. I know some of you are chomping at the bit. You can call me naïve for this! This is what I’m referring to when I say that I can be a real idiot. But I feel everyone has been very quick to call Crimson a pedophile. I know this is pedantic to say, but the prerequisite for being a pedophile is “being attracted to minors.” Based on the information I had at my fingertips, I did not think Crimson sought out these minors. Crimson was invited to the gc, they did not ask to join. 

I have seen discussions about all the things crimson did to their victims since we unbanned them but I have not seen screencaps to support that whole ‘marriage proposal’ thing, and again I think it sounds a bit odd coming as a pedophilia accusation from someone only one year younger than crimson.  

But you know what? I don’t know crimson. Maybe we were wrong. But even if we weren’t, I realize in hindsight that it was a stupid decision for the mod team to give them a second chance. We didn’t have anyone to consult about what happened because all the other people in the chat had been obscured from me and I didn’t feel like Laci would give me a straight answer. 

The mods and I felt at the time that crimson, like the other targets of Clique #1, had been singled out and that they deserved another very closely monitored chance in the discord, which they said they still missed dearly. I’m a bleeding heart, alright? A total sap. I know that. But being honest with you, I felt bad. It feels horrible to be singled out and targeted. And I was probably too close to that feeling at the time, seeing as we were on the tail end of finding out the Clique #2 had pursued me so relentlessly for so long. 

So for my part, I’m sorry. I made a rash decision that was influenced by some very personal circumstances. And we should have left it alone. Based on the evidence I've seen, I don’t know if I personally would call crimson a pedophile and certainly I wouldn't call them a known pedophile, but I am regretful that we risked it either way.

When I was trying to explain all of this in the west common room channel two nights back, things had boiled over and were already getting out of hand very quickly. A lot of brand new accounts were joining the discord with one word intros just to start conflicts in the public server with crimson. Alts. Either from banned users or burner accounts. And I got panicky. One of the mods paused the messages in west common room but no one besides me was available to handle the situation at that moment. Reacts about being silenced were pouring in and I felt pressured to quickly take over and try to explain. 

In my rush, I stupidly didn’t backread more than a quick skim. And I ate shit, y’all. You saw. One thing I want to state outright. I’m talking a lot about my thoughts and my feelings and it’s because I don’t wanna speak for Flynn or for the mods. But I didn’t make this decision alone. In fact, I was dragging my feet and being really lazy about okaying the whole thing. Just because I was busy, not because I was fretting over it or anything. But I had to be pinged and then literally tapped on the shoulder by Flynn, asking me to respond to mod chat when this was being discussed earlier that day. That doesn’t change the fact that I was part of the decision. I agreed to unban crimson. Foolishly. I understand that, now. 

I hope that now it makes some more sense though, how it came to happen. I never meant to hurt anyone. My own past and present feelings got in the way, and I own that. But in the moment, my personal intention was to give crimson a second chance because I felt that they’d been targeted by Clique #1. Not to ignore anyone’s concerns or make them feel unsafe, even if those were the ultimate outcome.  

So, completely underprepared and defensive, I jumped into west common room and I just. Blew it. Totally fucking blew it. I knew it instantly but it’s hard to stay logical when people are telling you you’re vile and evil and they’re sick that they ever thought you were a good person and that they’ll never see you the same way again. My mind went blank and I don’t really remember much of what happened next. But I said what I said, and I should have done better. 

I wish there was a word bigger than sorry. I’m beside myself. I know there was probably a way to make everyone happy. To make everything okay. But I wasn't clever enough to figure it out in the moment, and it eats at me. So it’s like I’m sorry for my poor judgment and my terrible choice of words, but there’s another layer where I’m also sorry for not matching how wonderful this community is with how wonderful (or well, unwonderful) I was two nights ago. I promise I am going to work harder to be better for you all.

Again, to every victim of SA and CSA, my heart is with you, more personally than you might realize. I don’t think I could have handled my explanation in a worse way. And I’m so so sorry.

Moving forward, I am also going to take an enormous step back from moderating and participating in the discord in general. I feel like a lot of this happened because I was still treating it like it belonged to a smaller fandom, like Shiloh’s. But realistically, I don’t have time to both moderate and make the series itself, and I really dragged my feet on being honest with myself about that. And for that too, I apologize. We’re going to get more mods, they’re going to have full control of the moderation, and Flynn and I are going to do what we love more than anything in the world and just make Nevermore.

I understand if you won’t be there for it. This is not a flattering picture I’ve painted for you. And you’d be well within your rights, to decide not to give us another chance. But it's been a pleasure to lurk here in this wildly talented corner of tumblr. And I’ll never forget it. <3 Yours truly, -Kit Trace

[fandom-go-round]

bg3 companions + their reactions to finding out they knocked up fem tav? 👀 (for the ladies we can say they're trans or it's magic)

I wrote my boy first because he’s the best, can you guess who it is? Hint: He’s my first romance. No guess for you lovely requestor because you know too much LOL

Also I’m ignoring cannon endings here because we want to end up happy with babies. No angst here, begone!

Warnings: Implied Sex, Implied Sexual Situations, Pregnant Tav, Babies, Pregnancy Thing (Morning Sickness)

Astarion:

At first, he thinks that you’re joking. Vampires can’t have children after all, that’s a pretty basic fact. When you’re insistent, part of him wants to accuse you of cheating, as much as it pains him. That’s a part of him still tainted by Cazador and he muffles it as best he can. Astarion is going to insist you go to a healer together; if you’re not pregnant, something must be going on you need help with. When Shadowheart confirms you’re with child, he’s at a loss. Astarion doesn’t know what to say, truly.

After the initial shock, he goes on the hunt for anything and everything about human-vampire babies. The records are hard to find and some are locked far, far away but he finds them all. He can be very persuasive after all. It’s in one of these books that he figures out how you two made a baby; he’s going to be very careful taking your blood from now on. Speaking of, Astarion will refuse to drink from you while you pregnant, no ifs ands or buts. This is a firm boundary for him, even if you smell more and more delicious the farther along you get.

The pregnancy is hard and Astarion is afraid he’s going to lose you. The birth is especially gruesome and it’s only because of Shadowheart and Halsin that you’re alive. He wants to resent the baby for how you suffered but he can’t, they’re just too perfect. He’s afraid of getting too close, of tainting this little thing but you refuse to let him be apart. The first time he holds your child he weeps and it’s over. Astarion is always going to struggle with his emotions and feelings about being a father but never about how much he loves them. Also, he’s completely in charge of their wardrobe; you’re going to have the best-looking baby in the entire city hands down.

Gale:

Gale was always on the fence about kids. Sure they’re cute but they’re also loud and he struggles to take care of himself, let alone a little squishy creature. That doesn’t mean he’s upset when you tell him you’re pregnant, not at all. He’s just doing furious calculations in his mind and it looks like he’s crashed. Give his brain a moment to reset and he’ll give you a large grin and lean down to kiss you. Tara is the first person the two of you tell and she’s excited, vowing to be the baby’s protector. Gale loves her even more which is quite the feat. His mother is next and she immediately starts offering help. He just can’t get over how perfect his family is, it feels like a dream sometimes. 

He takes a very technical approach to your pregnancy, like everything. Gale is reading all of the baby books and using all of the tracking charts he can get his hands on. He even goes to talk to midwives, wanting an expert opinion. It’s very sweet of him but you have to remind him that all babies grow at their own pace. He just wants to be the best dad he can and for him, that means more information. It is funny to watch him change a diaper for the first time but he never backs down from a challenge! Maybe he can use magic…?

He’s a mess when you actually go into labor. Gale swore he would be with you the entire time and then passed out in the final moments. He wakes up to a healthy baby and immediately starts crying. He enjoys being a dad, especially teaching your child new things. Your kid is going to have a huge curious streak that Gale will feed with vigor. He doesn’t consciously want your kid to be a wizard but would be overjoyed to have more in common with them.

Wyll:

Wyll is over the moon, as surprised as he is. Kids are something that he’s always wanted to have eventually and with you, his favorite person? What could go wrong? Of course, he’ll hear out your concerns if you have any and can have difficult conversations around pregnancy and child birth. One benefit of being a noble is that he has resources to help; whatever you want will be yours. He’s nervous to tell his dad but once the older man starts to tear up, he knows that he’s made a good choice. Wyll wants his family to be whole and happy.

He’s a chronic hoverer, as cute and frustrating as that is. Even in the early stages of pregnancy Wyll will try to do everything for you; moving a trunk? He’s got that, don’t strain yourself. Trying to cook dinner? Let him help you love. Be firm that you can do things yourself and he’ll back off. Just know that when you turn to ask him for help he’ll be waiting in the wings to be your hero. He’s also a pro at helping you figure out cravings. Wyll won’t complain if you wake him up in the middle of the night to go get something from the kitchen. He loves wrapping his arms around you from behind and rocking together; you being in his arms is his favorite thing.

He’s a trooper during the birth, being there the entire time. It takes a long time and he does worry but he encourages you and is your personal cheerleader. He can’t stop smiling after the baby is born, tracing their cheeks and forehead. As much as it would be funny to say Wyll struggles with being a dad, he really doesn’t. He loves your child so much, you’re surprised he never brought up kids in the first place. He is very much the definition of doting father but don’t let that fool you, he takes no disrespect, especially towards you. You’re the ruler of the house and Wyll is your backup. He’s the perfect mix of fun and strict dad. Now if he can convince you to have others…

Karlach:

Karlach is over the moon when you find our you’re pregnant. She had noticed you felt off and encouraged you to go to the doctor. Neither of you were expecting the baby news, as silly as it sounds. That doesn’t stop her form immediately lifting you up with a loud ‘whoop!’ and spinning your around the room. She loves babies! She loves you! This is going to be great.

She insists on redoing a room just for the baby. Even if their crib is going to be in your room for the first few months, Karlach wants your kid to have their own space. She paints the walls, builds all the furniture, everything. She asks for you opinion on decorations and doesn’t do anything without checking with you first but it’s her labor of love. It’s also her project for when she gets anxious thinking about the future. What is something goes wrong with her heart? What if something is wrong with the baby? What is the birth is too much for you? All of these thoughts get washed away in making the baby’s room perfect and then she goes to talk to you.

Karlach helps as much as she can during the birth aka you kick her (lovingly) into the hall to go grab towels so she stops hovering. When she gets back the baby is almost here and there’s no time to panic, just watch with wide eyes. She thinks you’re even more of a badass for going through all that and asks to hold the baby fist. Karlach cries holding them; they’re so cute and small and they’re the perfect mix of the two of you. She’s defiantly going to be the fun mom and there will be moments where it feels like you have two kids to scold. She takes safety very seriously, however, and is the first to lecture about stranger danger. Your kid will never feel unloved or unsafe, Karlach swears it on her life. This is her family now and no one else can have them.

Lae’zel:

Lae’zel struggles with the news that you’re having a baby. Partly because she never thought that she could have kids and the other part because she’s terrified about being a mom. She wasn’t raised in a traditional Faerunian way; no where on the continent can be compared to being raised Gith. She needs time to process on her own and it’ll be a few days before she comes back ready to talk. Take her concerns seriously and, if you truly want to keep the baby, she’ll raise them with you. She loves you after all.

It takes her a bit to understand all the changes your body is going through. It’s horrifying and amazing to watch your stomach swell and she loves gently cradling your bump as it grows. She doesn’t know what to do about the crying, except when someone else makes you cry. Then it’s easy: she wants to kill them. That usually makes you laugh and you’re able to talk her out of bodily harm. You do have some nice shop discounts now. Lae’el is very much your guard dog and she fulfills her position with pride.

The entire birthing process just shows Lae’zel that you’re the strongest person she knows. She’s completely impressed by how you handle everything and has a new respect for moms everywhere. She still thinks it’s gross and inefficient but badass all the same. Lae’zel is a strict mom but soft in her own way. She’s still learning to be kind to herself and the world around her. Your child will never feel the brunt of her frustration or confusion; they will, however, be able to swing a sword much too young. She beams with pride the first time your child beheads a training dummy and you know, deep deep down, that the two of them going to be trouble.

Shadowheart:

She starts to notice the signs before you do, honestly. At first it’s little things; you’re tired quicker, you’re more sensitive to certain smells. The big one is that you start to get morning sickness, frequently. Shadowheart finally sits you down after the fifth morning in a row over a bucket and checks you over. You’re pregnant all right, not doubt there. She’s going to be as surprised as you; you were both good about protection. Surprise baby!

She’s fairly neutral about kids. She never thought that she would have any, serving Shar, but now there’s a little more appeal to them. The pooping and crying she could live without but the idea of there being someone made up of the two of you? Shadowheart likes the idea more than she would admit out loud. She starts researching pregnancy healing the midwifery right away; she doesn’t have a lot of expertise with babies but she is a healer.

Shadowheart insists on delivering your baby herself. She wants to be a part of this and while you’re going to be doing the hard part, she wants to support you. If you have an issue, she will relent but has to be in the room. Your delivery is flawless and as she holds the bloody baby in her hands, she feels full. Of love and hope and excitement, all those emotions she once would have sworn off. For the first time since you’ve found out you’re pregnant, she’s excited to be a mom. She’s a strict but loving mom, teasing her kid and embarrassing them in public (just a little, like a cheek pinch). Shadowheart loves singing to your kids, something neither of you knew until now. Your house is full of love and laughter and singing, just perfect.

[maruflix]

  — ★ “𝐃𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊 𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐔 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐌𝐄?”

Ushijima Wakatoshi x f!reader The Super Ace of Shiratorizawa overheard a conversation between his teammates and his crush… and he did not like it.

The first time Ushijima Wakatoshi met you was when you went to the gym to return Tendou Satori’s book. Apparently the two of you had gotten your books mixed up. After profusely apologizing, Tendou had asked the stoic captain to accompany you while he ran to the locker room to get your book from his bag. 

Awkwardly, Ushijima carried out his mission, making small talk with you (the small talk was asking for your name and class, then proceeding to stay silent). His first impression of you was that you’re quite shy and polite. He felt pleasantly surprised when you didn’t show an ounce of awkwardness even when the two of you stood silently. His teammates would always say that he’s bad at socializing and can often seem intimidating because of his quietness, but the silence that engulfed the two of you was comfortable and natural.

So imagine his surprise when Tendou returned and a switch in you immediately flips: there are not a lot of people who can match Tendou’s energy, but you easily adjusted yourself to his quirkiness, laughing along with his jokes. You waved to Tendou casually before turning to him and bowing slightly, bidding him goodbye with a “Well, see you around, Ushijima-kun.”

As time goes by, he starts to notice how you seem to appear more often. Sometimes you accompanied Tendou to the gym before going somewhere else, other times you arrived after the team finished practice, walking off with Tendou. The Shiratorizawa team has also gotten to know you as ‘(Name), Tendou’s friend’, as you’re really the only person they have seen Tendou hang out with.

To say that he is curious is an understatement. He can’t deny that he really wants to know who you are. Since when did Tendou have such a pretty friend? Why didn’t he ever tell him about you, when he would yap about anything and everything? Were you dating?

“Oh, she’s my seatmate. She’s a really cool kid, so we kinda vibe.” Was Tendou’s answer when he asked more about you. Truthfully, he wasn’t satisfied with that answer. But he kept quiet because he felt weird asking questions about his friend’s friend.

And then, that thing happened.

It was just another afternoon. The team just finished practice, everyone was chatting amongst themselves, and you were there again to pick up Tendou. Lately Goshiki and Ohira had also joined your conversations with Tendou, and the four of you were chatting away happily.

Ushijima pretended to drop his towel near the four of you and took his sweet time to pick it from the ground, shamelessly eavesdropping on your conversation.

“So, you’ve watched our matches, right? Do you think we did just as well as when we practice?” Goshiki asked curiously.

You hummed, “I don’t know much about volleyball, but… I think so, yeah! It’s always fun watching you guys play.”

“Then…” Ohira looked at you, “who do you think plays the best?” He asked, half jokingly.

“That’s an easy question, senpai,” Goshiki interjected, “Of course it’s gotta be our ace, right?”

“Yeah, that’s not fair! You should’ve asked for second best.” Tendou begrudgingly agreed.

Ushijima’s ears perked up as he pretended to wipe his forehead, turning around to look the other way with his feet still rooted to the ground. His heart started beating a bit faster at the thought of you complimenting him. ‘Logically speaking, I usually score the most points, so it can be said that I play the best, right?’

“Actually,” You grinned, “I have a different opinion.”

“Ehhh?? Really?? No way!!” Goshiki exclaimed excitedly, “Senpai, you think I’m better than our team’s ace?!”

“Hey now, she didn’t say that…”

“Maybe soon, Goshiki-kun. But now, I think… Tori-kun plays the best!” You cheered as the three boys cried out in surprise.

“Tendou?! Really?! Umm, no offense to you, Tendou..”

“Well, I have to admit, the Guess Monster is terrifying when he gets all pumped up…”

“Ehhh, (Name)-chan, you’re making me blush!”

Ushijima’s skin crawled.

“I’m not lying! The way your hand suddenly changes directions and BOOM! Blocked! I’m like, how the heck does he do that?!”

“Damn, Tendou, it must be nice to have a friend who hypes you up like (Name)-san.”

“Oh, but you’re really cool too, Reon-kun! I mean, that’s not even up for debate! And you too, Goshiki-kun! I think one of these days you can become the new ace!”

“Ehhhh!??! Senpai, I like you!”

“Don’t feed into his delusions.”

Ushijima knew that you were a kind person, and maybe you weren’t that familiar with volleyball, or you were just trying to make your friends happy, but…

He gripped his towel.

Hard.

BAM!

The ball went flying through Tendou’s outstretched arms at such a speed that he thought it would blow his head off with it.

Tendou was used to Ushiwaka’s spikes. He was the Super Ace’s teammate, after all, but… He looked up, his heart nearly stopping when he saw the expression on Ushijima’s face.

Like he was going to swallow him whole.

“Don’t mind, Tori-kun!!”

Upon hearing your cheer, Tendou raised an eyebrow at how his captain’s expression twisted even more. He put on a wronged face as Ushijima gave him a glare and turned away.

‘What did I do?!’

Next to him, Ohira Reon was gasping for breath. He had been running around, digging balls and sending spikes, trying to win the 2v2 against Ushijima Wakatoshi and Semi Eita. But it was just not working. Of course it wasn’t working, the game was rigged! Whoever got Ushiwaka on his team is playing with cheats!

On the other side of the net, Semi glanced at Ushijima in hesitation. Ushijima had played like a cannon, receiving the ball perfectly for him to set and missing no beat in jumping and spiking the ball, sometimes right into the hands of his teammates on the other side, only for the ball to immediately bounce away. He could’ve aimed it elsewhere, but… to aim it towards Tendou and Ohira’s hands was like highlighting that even if the ball made contact with their hands, they couldn’t receive it anyway.

Well, it wasn’t that hard to guess where Ushijima would spike the ball. To be able to receive those spikes, though… now that was a skill on its own. Especially when he was playing like he’s trying to impress an Olympics coach.

To no one’s surprise, the practice ended with Ushijima-Semi’s win. Well, it was more like Ushijima’s win, with more than half of the points being his service aces. On any other day, their opponents would put up more of a fight, however Tendou had said earlier that he was feeling a bit under the weather.

Pretending like he didn’t hear anything, Ushijima insisted on playing against Tendou and Ohira, choosing not to cut Tendou any slack, spiking balls to his direction like he was trying to hit him on purpose. Ohira was no better, getting almost no chance to spike since receiving Ushijima’s unusually harder-than-ever spike serves was a real struggle in itself.

Tendou and Ohira regrouped with Semi and exchanged glances with the rest of the team, wondering what on earth caused their captain’s horrible mood. Ignoring their stares, Ushijima walked towards the person he had been focusing on.

“(Name).” Towering above you with a height of 189cm, Ushijima addressed you stoically, causing you to gasp in surprise.

You looked up at him. “Y.. yes, Ushijima-kun?”

“Did I do well?”

Flabbergasted, your mouth hangs open. “W-well, I..” Your eyes flitted at your friends but they only returned your glance with their own shocked silent stare.

“Well? Do you still think that Tendou plays better than me?”

You did a double take, your breath caught in your throat, the conversation you had with Tendou, Ohira and Goshiki a few days ago replaying in your head. “W-well, Ushijima-kun, it’s just that… Tori-kun is my friend, and-”

He bent down, gazing down at you in curiosity. “Do you think he plays better than me?”

“I-is there a wrong answer?” You breathed out at the close proximity between you two. Ushijima held his gaze, his eyes shining in amusement. You blushed at Ushijima’s confidence and obliviousness, thankful that Coach Washijo wasn’t in the room. “I-I-I think you play better than Tori-kun, sorry Tori-kun!” You yelled out, flustered.

Your friend could only give you a thumbs up, his mouth still hanging open.

“What about Ohira? Do you think he plays better than me?”

Gaping at him in shock, you stuttered out a “N-no, Ushijima-kun..”

Ushijima hummed, “And Goshiki?”

“No, you… you’re the best..” Horrifically embarrassed and confused, you finally gave him the answer he was looking for.

The entire Shiratorizawa team gaped at this hilarious interaction.

“I thought so as well.” Ushijima nodded, “But it still feels nice to hear it from you.” Satisfied, he rose up to his full height and turned to look at his team. “Why are you just standing there? Do you want to go for another round?”

Quickly, the team dispersed, no one wanting to be the victim of Ushiwaka’s spikes, all the while muttering about what the HECK just happened between Ushijima Wakatoshi and Tendou’s friend.

You sat, frozen in shock, not expecting that your crush would ask you a string of shocking questions while keeping his face so close to yours, as if challenging you to give him the wrong answers. Of course you thought he was the best, but you couldn’t admit that in front of your friends and his teammates!

Your cheeks still continued to burn even after Tendou plopped down next to you in confusion. “Well… that was something. My hand hurts.”

“Tori-kun, did I.. did I offend him somehow?!” You whispered to him in a panic.

“Honestly, that guy is a mystery. He usually doesn’t care about these things, though.” Your friend replied with a knowing look in his eyes, “But just to be sure, talk to him, I guess?”

After the practice, the rest of the team headed outside while Ushijima busied himself with his bag, as if waiting for you to talk to him. After saying goodbye to your friends, you took determined steps towards the tall male, your heart beating out of your chest.

“Ushijima-kun!” You called out as he instantly turned to look at you, “I-I’m sorry if I offended you! I don’t know much about volleyball and aces and stuff, so I was just yapping about Goshiki being the new ace and-”

“Oh, I don’t really care about that.” Ushijima cut you off, staring blankly at you.

“H-huh?”

“That won’t ever happen, at least not while I’m still on the team.” He stated as-a-matter-of-factly, “I am the country’s top three aces, after all.”

You had to admit, his confidence was hella attractive. “But then… why were you angry earlier, Ushijima-kun?”

“Wakatoshi.”

Your heart jumped out of your chest once more.

Ushijima didn’t seem to notice your flustered state. “Call me Wakatoshi.”

“Well, then.. Wakatoshi-kun, why did you..”

“I’m not angry.” He cut you off again, before placing a hand on your shoulder. “Did I scare you? I apologize.”

“No, you didn’t scare me! But… it’s more like… well, your face was so close, and I…”

Tilting his head, he leaned down to gaze at you, his face dangerously close. “Like this?”

“W-Wakatoshi-kun!”

He hummed, looking away. “What to do, I’m still not satisfied.” You blinked up at him owlishly, waiting for him to continue, “You always call Tendou so intimately. I wonder why, but I’m not satisfied with you just calling me by my first name.” He stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world, catching you off guard.

For a second you wondered if Ushijima Wakatoshi was flirting with you, but the way he said those words so stoically made you unsure. “Then!” Gathering all your courage, you bravely met his gaze, “Is Toshi-kun… okay?” You offered shyly, feeling your ears start to burn.

Ushijima tilted his head to the other side, his eyes widening slightly. “Say that again?”

“Toshi-kun?”

“We’ll go with that.” He placed a hand on your head, a smile ghosting his lips as you hide your face behind your hands.

And that day was the start of your friendship(?) with Ushijima Wakatoshi.

BONUS:

[imfinereallyy]

“The demon is back.” Eddie pokes into Steve’s side to wake him up.

“Babe, please go back to sleep.” Steve shoves his face into the pillow, making his voice muffled.

“Steeeeve.” Eddie whines, “It’s really there I swear this time. And I locked the door so I know it’s the demon again. Nothing else can get inside.”

“Eddie.” Steve squishes his face even deeper into the mattress. “You do this at least once a week. I love you; I do. But I never look because there is no demon. And every morning, you wake up fine. So please, go back to sleep.”

“What if I promise never to mention it again if it’s not really there? Will you look then?” This time Eddie’s voice wavers, his actual terror showing.

Steve sighs and shifts his head to look at Eddie, “This is really freaking you out, huh?” He says it kindly. Steve can tell this is serious to Eddie. So even if he doesn’t believe it, Eddie does. And what’s important to Eddie is important to Steve.

Eddie nods back furiously.

“Okay, I’ll look.” Steve shifts his head towards the other side, where the chair by the window sits. There, sitting in that corner is a dark shadowy figure. “Oh.”

“See! I told you! Demon! Oh god, it’s gonna get us.” Eddie throws his hands up. Even though he’s terrified, he’s accepted defeat.

“No.” Steve says calmly. “It’s just El.”

Eddie pauses his rant, “What?”

“It’s just El. In the corner. She does that sometimes, watches people she cares about until she falls asleep. To make sure they’re safe.” Steve looks at Eddie.

“The door was locked! How are you so calm about one of the kids just watching us at night?”

“Honey, she has mind powers. I don’t think a flimsy lock from Home Depot is going to stop her.” Steve deadpans before shrugging, “And it’s El. She could ask me to kill a man, and I probably wouldn’t even ask questions.”

“What if she asked you to kill me?”

“I’d be conflicted.”

“I want to be mad, but honestly I think I’d hand you the knife.” Eddie sighs, looking down at Steve.

Steve scoffs, “Don’t be ridiculous. I wouldn’t stab you. I’d obviously sneak some kind of poison into your honeycombs. Way less messy.”

Eddie goes back to nearly shouting, “Why have you thought about this?!”

“Honestly, I have a lot of intrusive thoughts. I just don’t speak them out loud.”

Despite the fact they are actively talking about his murder, Eddie can’t help but get all gooey with Steve in their bed. “Is this why you don’t get mad when I think aloud? Another reason why you just get me. Adding that tally to the ‘why we are great together’ column.”

“Yes, we’re pretty amazing. Can we go back to sleep now?” Steve smiles.

“Yes—wait, no.” Eddie corrects himself, getting himself back on track. He loves this man, but he is a sneaky little minx. “Why did El never say anything? I mean, this is not the first time I accused her of being a demon. Hell, we’ve been talking for literally five minutes, and she still hasn’t said anything. Also, what if she walked in on us doing, ya know, adult stuff?” Eddie blushes at the end. He’s acting like he hasn’t been whispering way worse things in Steve’s ear every night.

“First off, she won’t walk in on that. Apparently Max taught her about happy screams a long time ago.”

“Gross.”

“Yeaaa. Second, I’m pretty sure she’s asleep right now.”

Huh, now that Eddie thinks about it, he does hear soft little snores. Which is weird since neither he nor Steve snores, and they are both, ya know, awake.

“And I don’t think El speaking in a dark corner would have helped your fears. Like imagine just hear her soft “Hello” at 2 a.m.” Steve raises an eyebrow.

“I—okay I got nothing.”

“Fantastic can we go back to sleep now?”

Eddie gives one last shout, “You’re not going to stop her?”

“Are you going to tell her no? And make her worry?”

Eddie slinks down into the covers, “...no.”

“That’s what I thought.”

Eddie curves his body into Steve’s, seeking him out. Steve wraps his arms around Eddie, securing him to his chest. “Thank you for indulging me.”

Steve hums. “Anything for you baby. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Eddie kisses Steve lightly.

“I love you both as well.” El’s voice suddenly speaks into the silent room.

“Jesus Christ!” Eddie screams.

Steve can’t help the giggles that come out of him. He tries to smother them into Eddie’s shoulder.

Eddie can’t find it in himself to be mad.

———

some people seemed interested in more el + Steve sibling energy. And they are a sibling-like duo I love. So here’s a little something but more steddie involved. I think all three of their relationship would be very sweet. Both Eddie and Steve would protect el. I hope you enjoyed :)

[bruh--wtf]

Tutor for Time

Theodore Nott x gryffindor! reader

summary: Theo is terrible with his words, and reader already had some presumptions about him. So when Theo takes an opportunity to spend time with the reader it is their friend Pansy’s responsibility to fix both of their assumptions.

Warning: this is my first time writing for Theo so idk how good it is but lmk! <3

You’d never actually spoken to Theodore Nott and you never planned on doing so. No matter how good of friends you were with Pansy, Blaise and Enzo, Theodore Nott was unapproachable.

“No, absolutely not.” Pansy frowns at you.

“He’s not actually that scary. He just has a resting bitch face.” You glare at her and shake your head.

“It’s not that. In fact, he’s quite handsome, it’s the fact that he notoriously hates anything having to do with Gryffindor. He’s also a notorious fuck boy, and seems to take extra pleasure in breaking the girls hearts in my house. I’ve heard to many stories to even think of asking him for help.” You shake your head and start reading the read annotations Snape had left all over your paper.

“He’s your best chance at passing.” You glare at her and glance over at Theodore again on the other side of the room. She was right, he did have a resting bitch face. He always looked like he hated everything, and his gray eyes were perpetually fixed in an expression of annoyed indifference. While his friends laughed around him, the only hint of emotion he showed was the slightest smirk.

So, yes, Theodore Nott was unapproachable. But also incredibly attractive. Which might have said more about you than him.

“I can ask him for you if you like. Or at least mention that you’re looking for a tutor,” Pansy offers, slightly more gentle than previously. You look at her again, chewing on the inside of your cheek. When you glance down at your paper covered in red marks again, you sigh.

“Yeah, alright,” you finally concede. Pansy grins and goes back to her work, unnervingly excited at your agreeing. And when you look up at Theodore again, you find him already looking between you and your friend. When he sees you looking his eyes seem to harden before he looks away.

Oh, he definitely hates you.

***

You finally walk into the library five minutes late, and Theodore is waiting for you at a table in the back corner. You have to take a deep breath before walking up to him and taking a seat across from him.

“Thanks for finally gracing me with your presence.” You blink at him. His accent is thicker somehow when he is speaking directly to you. You would think living surrounded by the English for the past five and a half years would have depleted the accent a bit, but it’s still very prominent.

“I got caught up with some friends. I’m only a few minutes late.” Theodore finally looks up at his books and his dead eyes meet yours.

“And that makes wasting my time alright?” You blink at him and have to bite your tongue to remind yourself that he is actually taking time out of his day to help you. So don’t be a complete bitch.

“No of course not. Sorry. Thank you for meeting me, though.” He just shrugs looking down again.

“Pansy wouldn’t leave me alone. I didn’t have much of a choice.” You clench your naw again and nod.

“Right.” Theodore jumped right into the reading after that. You had to scramble to get your book at, which he didn’t seem to care about in the slightest. By the time it was almost curfew, Theodore didn’t show the slightest sign of being any more tired than when you had sat down with him. You, on the other hand, had earned at least three kicks in the leg when your eyes would start drooping shut.

Finally, you found your out when Madame Pince yelled out that the library would close in ten minutes. You quickly sat up for the first time in over an hour and watched as Theodore just kept rambling on about the importance of some herb.

“Are we almost done?” You finally blurt out. That’s when he finally looks up again. He raises an eyebrow at you, not looking amused in the slightest.

“Do you understand more than you did the last time you got a question wrong?” You scowl at his response and deflate a little in your seat.

“The library closes soon.” He nods and snaps his book shut, making you jump a little at the sudden change.

“Perfect. Then I can have a break of your stupid answers until tomorrow.” You gawk at him. Once the words finally process in your head, you stand up, grabbing your things.

“Just because I have one sore subject doesn’t make me an idiot, Nott. I’m smart enough not to waste my time with an ass like you again.”

“Ouch.” His smirk and sarcastic tone makes you all the angrier, and you send a final glare his way before starting to walk off. “You need me to pass the next test on Thursday.” You turn around to see him gathering his things as if he hadn’t just said anything. For a moment you thought you’d imagined it.

“I can find someone else to help me. Someone who actually wants to and isn’t just here to be a condescending ass who likes to make me feel bad about myself,” you snap. Theodore looks over his shoulder at you and studies you for a moment.

“I admit my last comment was a bit harsh but I just spent the last five hours trying to teach you. Who else is going to do that?” He turns, leaning on the table as his arms cross over his chest. You pause for a moment. That almost sounded like regret from Theodore Nott. You didn’t think there was such a thing.

“Fred’s quite good at potions. I’m sure he’d help me.” Theodore raises an eyebrow.

“Weasley? Sure, he’d help you for ten minutes before distracting himself and you with something else.” You clench your jaw, sad to admit that he had a point. Neither Fred nor George were very academic and even when they were they were terrible at staying focused.

“Why do you want to help me? Is Pansy paying you or something?” Theodore shakes his head, turning back to grab his bag and sling it over his shoulder. He walks up to you, the ass having the gall to tower over you after everything else.

“No. She’s not, nor is anyone else. I’ll see you here same time tomorrow.” You blink at him, and he’s walking away. Unfortunately, he’s right. You will see him tomorrow.

And the next day.

And finally, on Wednesday night, you’re staring at the review Theodore had created for the test the very next day with your head in your hands.

“How am I supposed to remember all this?” Theodore shrugs as he works on his own work across from you.

“The same way the rest of us do. You study.” You glare at him and kick his shin like he’d done to you so many times, which manages to earn you his attention.

“I’ve been studying. I’ve spent more time with you in here than I have in my own bed the last few days and I still feel like it’s all going to leave my head the second I leave.” Theodore tilts his head and studies you as you slouch back in your seat.

“What helps you remember when you’re here?” You bite the inside of your cheek. You know the answer and yet you hate to admit it to the boy. However, the truth was the truth. And that was that you had grown attached to Theodore’s praise. Well, about as close as he came to it. Whenever you were right, he’s award you with the smallest of smiles and a little nod. And if he was reading over your papers, you liked watching as his eyes skimmed the words and sometimes you could tell you were right when his head tilted down a little more to hide the smile you liked so much. He didn’t like admitting you were right despite being the reason for it.

Eventually, he gestured for an answer and you had to sigh. “You, I suppose,” you finally admit, neglecting to tell him why you like being right with him so much. Theodore seems to like that answer, though as he gives you one of those small smiles that are nothing like his usual smirk.

“Well, lucky for you I happen to be just across the room, incase you haven’t noticed.” You blink up at him. “So, you should be just fine.” You smile a little and tilt your head.

“Careful, Nott. I believe you just comforted a Gryffindor.” Your sarcasm doesn’t go unnoticed by Theodore. He smirks a little and his eyes go back down to his work and his quill.

“If I’m your good luck charm you could at least call me Theo.” His blatant ignoring of your comment still shocks you.

“Fine, then. Theo?” He lifts his head again and hums in response. “Why are you helping me?” He tilts his head in a way that reminds you of your friend’s cat when you hold catnip.

“Pansy gave me an excuse to sit with you and I took it.” Your brows scrunch together and it is your turn to tilt your head and his to study you. “We have mutual friends, and I never wanted them to be the reason that I got to be alone with you.”

He tilted his head back straight and you continued to stare at him. “Is that one of your lines?” He brings his hand up to rest his chin on. It’s the first time you’ve seen him lean on the table.

“What are you talking about?” You roll your eyes and wait for him to crack up but he doesn’t.

“You don’t like me, or anyone else that has anything to do with my House. Everyone knows that. And I’m not the idiot to fall for it.” He just stares for a moment before shaking his head.

“I’ve definitively had my fun, just like Mattheo, and definitely Enzo have. How does that make me a worse person than them?” Your throat runs dry and you can’t think of a good way to word your thoughts.

“I didn’t say you were… Enzo is terrible to girls and I am well aware of that. You’re not better or worse.” He rolls his eyes and starts gathering his papers.

“I’ve never told a girl I’d be hers and then not followed through. I’m always honest, unlike some of my friends who love false promises because they think it gets them better head. And it’s not my fault if girls think that just because I’ve been in their bed means suddenly I’ll want to go out with them.” You watch as he stands up, looking more annoyed than you have ever seen him. “Before you think about me being an ass again, maybe think that you only hear the side of delusional girls who have also fucked half of my friends. And I didn’t want to meet up with you to get into your pants I could’ve gotten that much easier from someone who tries much harder to get into mine.” He shoves his things in his bag and starts walking out of the library without so much as looking back at you, and your left staring at an empty chair trying to process the words of the boy you’d clearly hurt.

Pansy watches as you flop on her bed and continue to ramble about the weird conversation with Theo. She scoffs and rolls her eyes. “You’re an idiot.”

You shoot up. “What?”

She gives you an unamused look. “Yes, Theo fucks around. But who doesn’t? And he’s the nicest about it. He doesn’t give any false pretenses.” You frown as you cross your arms. “He’s never dated anyone, you know? He doesn’t like the idea of falling for someone. And he’s never lied to girls about that. Besides he’s liked the same girl since first year. He’s quite attached to her, though he’s probably never going to admit it.”

You sit up a little straighter, waiting for her to continue. “Theo… Theo’s been through a lot. He needs someone who will listen to him, really listen to him, because it’s rare he talks about his feelings at all.”

“Why don’t you date him then, if you know him so well?” She rolls her eyes and gives you that same blank stare.

“Like I said. He’s down bad for a girl he’s barely spoken to but watches almost every second of every day. And I like girls.” You smile a little at her though you do have an odd clench in your chest as you look down at your hands. “Are you seriously that oblivious?” You snap your eyes back up to hers.

“What?”

“Theo has liked you since first year, you idiot! And the one time I finally got him to talk to you, you tell him you think he’s an unemotional ass?” You are taken aback by Pansy’s snapping, yet find yourself thinking about the times you’ve caught him staring. Normally it’s with Pansy and you’ve always just assumed he was annoyed at her for being friends with you, but the more you think about it, you remember how it’s always happened. Even before you and Pansy were friends.

“Oh.”

Pansy rolls her eyes again. “Yeah. Oh.”

The next day you find yourself sitting next to Pansy taking the test you’d been cramming for all week with Theo. Midway through your hand is in your hair and you find yourself drifting off in your mind. It’s only when your eyes land on Theo do you remember how little time you have, and look back down at your paper.

A few times, you find yourself glancing up at Theo. Trying to remember the numerous questions he asked you and the answers you said in order to earn his soft smiles. At one point he looked over just as you did, and caught you staring. His brows knit together for a moment, and he glanced at the quill twirling in your hand. He gave you a small nod before looking down at his own test again, and you allowed yourself to do the same.

The next day when Snape handed back your papers you were shocked to find an E at the top of your paper. Exceeds Expectations.

You’d never gotten more than a Poor, or the one or two Acceptables. You stare at the paper and Pansy elbows you, finally drawing you out of your head. She nods at your paper and then toward the other side of the room where Theo was standing up and getting ready to leave. “Least you could do is say thank you,” she says before grabbing her own stuff and leaving.

Theo starts walking out alone seeing as Pansy had stolen Blaise and Mattheo hadn’t dawned the class with his presence that day. So you find yourself running after the tall boy alone in the corridor towards the slytherin dorms. “Nott!” He didn’t even flinch or acknowledge your presence so you call after him again. “Nott, come on!”

Finally you stop running and let out a breath. “Theo, please, just a minute?” This time he pauses and turns to face you.

“Will you stop yelling obnoxiously?” You smile a little and quickly walk up to him.

“Yes, in fact, I will.” You hold out the test for him, and he stares at you for a moment longer before taking it and assessing it. You see the small smile dawn his features and can’t help but smile a little wider as he tries to hide it. “I just wanted to thank you. For spending that time with me.”

“And being your good luck charm?” He looks back up at you and holds out the paper for you to take back. You do, but take a step closer to him as well.

“Yes, that too.” You chew on your lip for a moment before clearing your throat. “And I also need to apologize. I didn’t mean to make you upset the other day. I didn’t realize how bias I sounded until afterwards.” He clears his throat and looks anywhere but at you.

“Pansy talk to you?” You nod a little.

“Yes. But I’m glad she did.” He glances at you but doesn’t seem convinced. “And what Snape started talking about today already has me lost, so maybe you’d consider helping me again?”

His confusion is evident. “You want me to help you?” You nod a little and tilt your head.

“Does being alone with me sound that bad?” His jaw works for a moment, but you swear a small smile appears for a moment. “I’d like to spend some more time with you, if you’d like.”

“Careful, Y/L/N, it almost sounds like you want to hangout with a slytherin. And a fuck boy one at that.” You smile a little more and nod.

“When has that stopped me before? Enzo is much worse than you.” Theo smiles a little more again, and this time lets you see it.

“I’ll see you at the Black Lake tomorrow, the same time as usual.” You raise an eyebrow.

“The Black Lake?” Theo just nods and starts backing away.

“Yes, the library’s a bit stuffy. I’d never take someone I like there.” You can’t hide your surprise and Theo just waves you off. “Don’t act like I just proposed.” You laugh a little and shrug.

“Not yet but give me another week and I’ll have you on your knee.” Theo’s eyebrows raise and he smirks.

“We’ll see about that, love.”

[lucvly]

— boyfriend headcannons with matt. ⸰ 𖥔 ͙

warnings: the usual !! sfw and nsfw parts. not proofread my bad.

a/n: i love reqs helppp 😣 working on another one which actually involves writing as we Speak !! i had to reupload this because i forgot tags SORRY anon 💔

— this man is obsessed with you. literally doesn’t even find any other women attractive. he has the biggest heart eyes for you it’s insane.

— adores hyping you up on instagram. he’s the type to reply “alr i saw it you can take it down now !!” when you post a story. your posts are filled with comments from him.

— he’s an absolute sucker for grand gestures. asked you to be his girlfriend by decorating your room with balloons !! goes all out on your anniversary (buys you a dress, gets you new jewelry, etc.)

— loves to color coordinate with you. whenever you two are going out or just seeing each other he calls you to match outfits. he thinks it’s the cutest (+ chris and nick tease him sooo bad for it)

— always gets you your go-to drinks. you’ll mention an iced latte once and he’s getting one for you every single day !! he’s so cute bye

— secretly loves it when you take pictures of him like a soccer mom LMAOO. he thinks it’s the cutest thing ever. you love taking pictures of him doing literally anything: driving, doing laundry, etc.

— loves sleeping on call with you. he absolutely adores hearing you rant about your day. + sleeping on call together him while he’s on tour and misses you so badly !! half of the call is just him complaining about how much he wishes he could see your face and kiss you.

— he may whine about how you’re stealing all his clothes and hoodies but secretly loves watching you in them.

— him driving is sooo attractive. he’s such a gentleman ughhh. this man will get out of the car and open the door for you, leans over and buckles your seatbelt, + always has his hand on your thigh.

— always kissing you. forehead kisses, neck kisses, cheek kisses, etc.

— soo good at comforting and reassuring you. he’s such a sweetheart it’s sickening !!!

— your personal driver. it’s 3 am and you wanna go out? call him and he’ll be there in 5. you’re drunk at a party and need a ride? your boyfriend’s there.

— replies to your texts at lightning speed it’s sooo embarrassing but cute !!

— updates you on everything that happens throughout his day.

— nsfw below!

— anytime you kiss him it ends up in a heated ass make out session. your hands softly pulling on his hair, his hands gripping your waist as you ever so slightly grind on his hardening cock !! lollll !!

— he leans more towards the gentler side in bed. cute pet names, makes it All about you and your pleasure– (though he loves it when you give him head).

— howeverrrr, he can definitely get mean during sex. i’m talking manhandling, shoving your face into the pillow, dirty talk. (“too big— i can’t–,” “i don’t care, you can take it. i’ll make it fit.”)

— loves it when you overstimulate him. it’s his favorite thing ever. have fun watching him squirm, hearing him moan and whimper your name.

— begs you to sit on his lap. he adores it. stroking your hair, kissing your neck, his hands on your waist as he tries his hardest to not grind his hips up or simply just fuck you senseless.

— he’s vocal. whimpering out loud, begging, groaning, grunting. all of it.

— extremely good at aftercare. he’ll immediately clean you up, get a bottle of water for you, cuddle, talk, anything you want and he’s completely at your service.

— he’s such a secret pervert !!! cannot see you in a skirt because he’s already hard. showing a bit of cleavage? hard. sees you in a bathing suit? it is over for him. he needs you.

— cockwarming him while he’s gaming <333. he’s all for it. one time you two made a bet that consisted on making the other crack first. spoiler alert: you ended up with your moans being muffled by a pillow because you just couldn’t let him finish his game, could you?

[yourmomsawh0r3]

Fight for me 🍒

pairing: Joel miller x f! reader

warning : NSFW, 18+

summary: After Y/N confronts Joel about her unresolved feelings and receives a crushing rejection, she goes on patrol for weeks leaving Joel to grapple with his guilt and a looming realization that he might lose her forever.

It had been a long day in Jackson, and as the sun dipped below the horizon, casting the town square in a soft orange glow, Y/N stood waiting. She had finally worked up the courage to confront Joel really confront him. They’d been dancing around their feelings for weeks, their stolen glances and the subtle touches that lingered longer than necessary. But Y/N was tired of the waiting, the mixed signals. She needed to know where they stood, even if it meant risking her heart.

Joel approached her cautiously, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his worn jacket. He looked tired, the weight of the world always seemed to rest on his broad shoulders, and today was no different. His brow furrowed slightly when he saw her, his gaze scanning her face as though he already knew what this conversation would be about.

“Y/N,” he greeted her quietly, but she didn’t waste time with pleasantries. Her heart was hammering in her chest, her pulse quickening as she took a step closer to him.

“I need to talk to you, Joel,” she said, her voice firm but soft, vulnerability shining in her eyes.

Joel swallowed hard, already sensing the tension in the air. “I know. I reckon I do too.”

There was a beat of silence between them, the distant sounds of the town fading into the background as the moment grew heavier. Y/N gathered her courage, her hands clenching into fists at her sides to keep from shaking.

“I have feelings for you,” she finally blurted out, her voice trembling slightly but steady enough to get the words out. She watched Joel’s face as her confession sank in, but he didn’t look surprised. His expression didn’t change much at all.

“I care about you, Joel,” she continued, taking a small step toward him. “More than I should. More than I’ve wanted to admit for a long time.”

Joel’s eyes flickered with something regret, sadness, fear but he remained still, like a stone. He didn’t speak, so she kept going, desperate for some kind of response.

“And I know you feel something too. I know you, Joel. I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not watching, the way you always pull away before we can get too close.” Her voice wavered, but she held herself together. “But I can’t keep pretending like it doesn’t mean anything. Not anymore.”

There was a long, suffocating pause before Joel finally spoke, his voice low and gruff. “You can’t have feelings for me, Y/N.”

His words hit her like a punch to the gut. She had braced herself for rejection, but hearing it out loud still cut deep.

“Why?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. “Why can’t I?”

Joel’s jaw tightened, his eyes dropping to the ground as he tried to find the words. His fists were clenched in his pockets, his whole body tense with the effort of holding back what he really wanted to say.

“Because I ain’t good for you,” he muttered, his voice rough with the weight of years of guilt and loss. “You deserve better than what I got to give.”

Y/N’s heart twisted painfully in her chest, but she refused to back down. “You don’t get to decide that for me, Joel.”

His eyes shot up to meet hers, dark and conflicted. “Yes, I do. I can’t, I can’t do this.”

“Why not?” she pressed, her frustration bubbling to the surface. “Why won’t you let yourself feel something? Why won’t you fight for me?”

Joel took a step back, shaking his head. “Because I can’t, Y/N. You don’t understand.”

“Then make me understand!” she pleaded, stepping closer to him. “Tell me why you keep pushing me away when I know you feel the same!”

His eyes glistened with something unreadable as he stared at her, and for a moment, Y/N thought he might actually break, that he might finally open up and tell her the truth.

But instead, Joel’s face hardened, and he took another step back, his hands trembling as he pulled them from his pockets. “I’m broken, Y/N. I’m not the man you think I am. I’ve lost too much. I can’t lose again.”

His words stung, the rawness in his voice slicing through her, but Y/N wasn’t giving up not yet. “You don’t have to lose anything. I’m right here, Joel. All I’m asking is for you to take a chance. Just… fight for me.”

Joel’s face twisted with pain, and for a fleeting second, she saw the cracks in his armor, saw how badly he wanted to take her hand, pull her close, and never let her go. But then, like a switch, the walls came back up, and his expression turned cold.

“I can’t,” he whispered, the finality in his voice breaking her heart. “I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat, her vision blurring with unshed tears as she watched him turn his back on her, walking away without looking back. He left her standing there, alone in the center of the town square, her chest aching as she watched him disappear into the crowd.

She had laid her heart bare, and he had walked away.

Days passed after that moment. Joel avoided her, throwing himself into work, doing everything he could to keep his mind off the mess he’d made. But the gnawing guilt, the anger at himself, wouldn’t go away. He’d see her around town talking to people, carrying supplies and each time, the knot in his stomach tightened. He had been so stupid. She was everything, and he’d pushed her away, too scared to even try.

Joel was a man who built walls high enough to keep anyone from getting too close, and lately, he'd found himself battling his emotions more than ever. For weeks, Joel had been caught in a constant struggle with himself, feelings of guilt and shame pulling him in opposite directions as his attraction toward Y/N grew stronger.

She was everything he hadn’t allowed himself to want in a long time kind, sharp-witted, and brave. She brought light to the dark corners of Jackson, a beacon in a place where hope was scarce. Joel had spent countless nights alone, staring at the ceiling in his small cabin, wrestling with his thoughts, questioning whether he deserved to feel something for her. Sarah, the loss, the years spent surviving rather than living it all weighed heavy on his soul. How could he possibly think about moving forward? How could he let someone in again?

His frustrations with himself only made things worse. He’d been distant, cold, pushing Y/N away every time she tried to get closer. It wasn’t fair to her. But Joel was too damn scared to let himself care. It was easier to stay in his misery than risk feeling that pain again.

“Joel, you can’t keep doing this,” Tommy had told him more than once, his brother sensing the turmoil simmering beneath the surface. But Joel always brushed him off, muttering excuses about keeping things professional or how he didn’t need more complications in his life. Yet, no matter how much distance he put between them, he couldn’t stop his mind from drifting to Y/N.

Then today, it was worse. Y/N had gone out on patrol.

Jackson’s patrols were routine by now, but they weren’t without their risks. Joel usually joined them, but this time he’d opted out, knowing she’d be out there. He thought it would help to put some distance between them, maybe clear his head. Instead, it only made the gnawing ache in his chest worse. The hours dragged on, each passing minute fueling his restless energy. Joel couldn’t sit still. He was on edge, pacing his cabin, berating himself for how he’d treated her. All he could think about was her smile, how she used to lean against his shoulder after a long day. How he’d shrugged her off the last time she tried to talk to him.

“Damn it, Joel. What the hell is wrong with you?”

His mind raced with the guilt of pushing her away. Y/N was out there, doing her job, and all he could think about was how he’d been too much of a coward to let her in. He grabbed his jacket, ran his hands through his hair, then stopped in his tracks. She deserved better than what he had to offer. “Maybe it’s for the best.”

But a sudden, gut-wrenching feeling pulled at him a fear he couldn’t shake. Something wasn’t right.

His boots thudded against the wooden floor as he headed for the door, an anxious knot tightening in his chest. He made his way toward the gates of Jackson, as if his feet had taken over, instinct pulling him there without thought. His hands were shaking, and he shoved them into his pockets to hide it. “She’s fine. She’ll be fine.”

But the moment he saw the group returning through the gates, the world around him seemed to stop. He spotted her instantly, Y/N walking, limping slightly, with blood streaking down her arm and a nasty cut along her forehead. His heart lurched into his throat.

“Y/N!” Joel’s voice cracked as he pushed his way through the crowd, ignoring the questioning stares. Panic surged through him as he reached her, his eyes wild with concern.

Y/N’s gaze met his, her eyes tired but still as strong as ever. “Joel—”

He didn’t give her a chance to finish. “What the hell happened? Are you okay?” His voice was thick with worry, his hands already hovering over her injuries, unsure of where to start. He could see the blood seeping through her clothes, her shirt torn and stained. “Jesus, you’re bleeding.”

“It’s not as bad as it looks,” she tried to assure him, but Joel’s jaw tightened.

His hands, rough and calloused, gently cupped her face as his eyes frantically scanned over her wounds. She winced slightly at the touch, but her lips twitched into a small, reassuring smile.

“Joel, I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not fine,” he snapped, his voice low and strained, filled with guilt. “I shouldn’t have let you go out there. I—”

“It’s my job,” Y/N interrupted softly, her hand reaching up to grip his wrist. “I’m okay, really.”

But Joel wasn’t hearing it. The panic, the fear that had consumed him the moment he saw her hurt, was too much. His chest felt tight, and the world around him blurred. He had pushed her away for weeks, told himself it was for the best, and now seeing her like this, it was like a punch to the gut. “He had fucked it up.” He couldn’t lose her, not after everything.

“Don’t..don’t do that,” he muttered, shaking his head as he pulled her closer. “Don’t pretend like this is nothing. It ain’t nothing to me.”

His confession hung in the air, heavy with emotion. Y/N blinked, her brows furrowing as she searched his face.

“Joel, what are you?”

“I’ve been a damn fool,” he admitted, his voice rough and broken. “I’ve been pushing you away, and I don’t even know why anymore. I thought I couldn’t thought I wasn’t allowed to feel this way again. But I can’t lose you, Y/N. I can’t.”

Her breath hitched at his words, the raw vulnerability in his voice catching her off guard. She had always known there was something more beneath his gruff exterior, but hearing it like this… she hadn’t expected it.

“You won’t lose me,” Y/N whispered, her hand moving to rest against his chest, feeling the rapid thump of his heart beneath her palm. “Joel, I’m here. I’m right here.”

He exhaled shakily, his forehead resting against hers as the weight of his fear and guilt crashed over him. His fingers gently traced the edge of the cut on her forehead, and for the first time in a long time, Joel allowed himself to feel to really feel what had been building inside him for so long.

“I should’ve told you,” he muttered, his voice hoarse. “I should’ve been honest. I’m sorry.”

Y/N leaned into him, her lips brushing against his cheek in a gesture of comfort. “It’s okay, Joel. We’ll figure it out.”

And for the first time in weeks, Joel believed her. He hadn’t lost everything he hadn’t lost her.

Y/N gazed up at Joel, her heart pounding in her chest as she took in the raw emotion etched into his handsome features. His hands trembled slightly as they cupped her face, his thumbs brushing gently over her cheeks. The air between them crackled with a tension that had been building for weeks, the unspoken feelings and longing finally boiling to the surface.

Joel's eyes searched hers intensely, the blue depths swirling with a maelstrom of emotions fear, guilt, regret, and something else, something that made Y/N's breath catch in her throat. His voice was low and rough when he spoke, each word laden with meaning.

"I'm sorry, Y/N," Joel murmured, his forehead resting against hers as he struggled to find the right words. "I'm sorry for pushing you away, for not being able to see what was right in front of me. I was a damn fool."

Y/N's heart clenched at the raw vulnerability in his voice, her hands coming up to grip the front of his shirt. "Joel, you don't have to apologize," she breathed, her lips brushing against his jawline. "I understand. I do."

"No, you don't," he insisted, pulling back just enough to look her in the eye. "I've been so caught up in my own head, in my own pain, that I couldn't see how much you've come to mean to me. I couldn't let myself feel it."

Y/N's brows furrowed, her fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt. "Joel, I'm not going anywhere," she whispered fiercely. "No matter what happens, I'm here. I'll always be here."

Something shifted in Joel's expression, a flicker of determination hardening his jaw. "I don't want you to go anywhere," he growled, his hands sliding down to her waist, pulling her flush against him. "I want you here, with me. Always."

Joel Miller cooked a romantic dinner for Y/N, complete with candles, soft music, and a delicious meal. After dinner, he walked her to her door, his hand warm and strong in hers.

As they reached the doorway, Joel turned to Y/N, his blue eyes filled with tenderness. "I had a really nice time tonight," he murmured, squeezing her hand. "Dinner was perfect."

Y/N gazed up at him, a soft smile on her lips. "It was lovely," she agreed, squeezing his hand back. "Thank you for cooking for me, Joel. It means a lot."

Joel brushed a stray curl behind her ear, his fingers lingering on her cheek. "Anything for you, angel," he said softly. "I'd do anything to make you happy."

Y/N's heart fluttered in her chest at his words. She could feel the love and devotion radiating off him, and it made her feel cherished and adored. "I'm so glad we found each other," she whispered, leaning into his touch. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

Joel's hand slid down to cup her chin, tilting her face up to his. "You'll never have to find out," he promised, his voice low and intense. "I'm not going anywhere, Y/N. I'm yours, always and forever."

Y/N's breath caught in her throat as Joel's head dipped down, his lips brushing hers in a tender kiss. She melted into him, her arms wrapping around his neck as she kissed him back with all the love and passion in her heart.

The night air was cool as Y/N and Joel strolled back to her place, hands lightly brushing against each other, fingers occasionally intertwining. It was a comfortable silence between them, the kind that spoke volumes about their connection. Joel's heart was racing, knowing that he was about to spend the night with this captivating woman. Her green eyes sparkled in the moonlight, and her freckles, dusted across her cheeks, seemed to dance as she smiled at him.

As they reached her doorstep, Y/N turned, facing Joel, her expression a mix of desire and shyness. "Thank you for a wonderful evening, Joel. Goodnight."

Joel's throat went dry. He wanted to say something, something meaningful, but all he managed was a hoarse, "Goodnight, Y/N."

He turned to leave, his footsteps echoing on the pavement. But something pulled him back, an irresistible urge to see her again, to feel her warmth. He hesitated, then, in a swift motion, turned on his heels and headed back towards her house.

Just as he raised his hand to knock, the door swung open, and Y/N stood there, a mischievous glint in her eyes. Without a word, she grabbed the front of Joel's shirt, pulling him inside with a force that surprised him. The door slammed shut behind them, the sound echoing through the quiet house.

"Thought you'd leave without saying goodbye, huh?" Y/N teased, her voice low and sultry.

Joel, caught off guard by her sudden aggression, found himself pressed against the closed door, Y/N's body flush against his. He could feel her breath on his neck, sending shivers down his spine. "I... I couldn't leave without seeing you again," he managed to whisper.

"Good," she purred, her hands now roaming freely over his chest, making his heart pound even harder. "Because I've been thinking about this all night. About how good it would feel to have you inside me."

Joel's breath caught in his throat as her words, laced with raw desire, washed over him. He felt his control slipping away, replaced by a primal urge to possess her, to brand her as his.

Y/N's hands found the buttons of his shirt, deftly undoing them one by one, her touch sending sparks of pleasure through his body. As the fabric fell away, she traced her fingers along his chest, her nails lightly scraping his skin, leaving a trail of fire in their wake.

"You're so beautiful," she whispered, her lips brushing against his ear, sending shivers down his spine. "I want to taste every inch of you."

With that, she dropped to her knees, her hands working at his belt, fingers fumbling with the buckle, driven by her eagerness. Joel groaned, his hands threading through her hair, the soft strands slipping between his fingers. He felt exposed and vulnerable, yet utterly consumed by desire.

Y/N's lips found the tip of his erection, now freed from the confines of his pants, and she took him into her mouth, her tongue swirling around the head, tasting him, memorizing every inch. Her hands cupped his balls, gently massaging them as she took him deeper, her throat working to accommodate his length.

"Fuck, Y/N," Joel gasped, his head thrown back, his body arching towards her. "You're incredible."

She pulled back, a satisfied smile on her face, a glistening strand of saliva connecting her lips to the head of his cock. "I aim to please," she whispered, before taking him into her mouth again, this time with more urgency.

Joel's hands tightened in her hair, his hips thrusting gently, encouraging her actions. He could feel the pressure building, his breath coming in short gasps, his body on the brink of something explosive.

"Wait," he managed to say, his voice hoarse with need. "I want you, all of you."

Y/N rose, her eyes sparkling with anticipation. She kicked off her shoes and swiftly undressed, revealing her slender body, her breasts full and pert, her nipples hard with desire. She wore nothing but a smile and a small silver chain around her waist, drawing Joel's eyes to the glistening wetness between her thighs.

Joel kicked off his shoes and shimmied out of his pants, his eyes never leaving her. He was hard, aching with need, his cock standing proudly, twitching with anticipation.

Y/N backed towards the nearby couch, her movements graceful, like a feline stalking its prey. She sat on the edge, spreading her legs, inviting him with her eyes. Joel needed no further encouragement. He moved between her thighs, positioning himself at her entrance, feeling her heat enveloping him.

With one smooth thrust, he filled her, their bodies becoming one. Y/N's eyes widened, a soft moan escaping her lips as she adjusted to his size. Joel paused, giving her a moment to acclimate to his presence, his hands gripping her thighs, feeling the softness of her skin.

"You feel so good," he whispered, his voice thick with desire. "So tight and warm."

"More," she breathed, her hands pulling him closer, her nails digging into his shoulders. "Please, Joel, more."

Joel began to move, his hips thrusting slowly at first, then with increasing urgency, each stroke pushing deeper, eliciting moans and gasps from Y/N. Her fingers dug into his back, leaving marks that would remind them of this moment.

"You're so beautiful," he groaned, his eyes drinking in the sight of her, her hair tousled, her freckles more pronounced as her passion rose. "Your freckles are perfect, like stars in the night sky."

Y/N's eyes fluttered open, meeting his gaze, and she smiled, a smile that reached her eyes, making his heart skip a beat. "I love the way you look at me," she whispered, her voice breathless.

Joel's movements became more frantic, his body building towards an inevitable climax. He felt Y/N's walls clenching around him, her body responding to his, their connection deepening with every thrust.

"I'm close," she panted, her nails scraping his back, marking him as her own. "Oh God, Joel, I'm so close."

Joel's body was on fire, his senses alive with the feel and taste of Y/N. He thrust harder, faster, wanting to give her everything, wanting to see her fly apart in his arms.

"You're so tight around me," he grunted, his voice raw with desire. "I'm gonna cum, Y/N. I'm gonna fill you up."

Y/N's eyes widened, her body tensing, and then she was crying out, her climax crashing over her, her walls rippling around him, milking him as she rode out her orgasm. Joel followed, his own release overwhelming him, his cock throbbing as he emptied himself deep inside her, filling her with his essence.

They collapsed, a tangle of limbs, onto the couch, their hearts pounding, their breath coming in ragged gasps. Joel held Y/N close, his hands stroking her back, feeling the rise and fall of her chest as their breathing slowly returned to normal.

"You're incredible," he whispered, his lips brushing her temple. "I've never felt anything like that."

Y/N smiled, a satisfied, post-coital glow on her face. "You're pretty amazing yourself, Joel Miller," she purred, her fingers tracing patterns on his chest. "And you taste like cherries, did you know that?"

Joel laughed, a deep, contented sound, and pulled her closer, burying his face in her sweet-smelling hair. "I think I'm gonna need a lot more of your special flavor, Y/N. I'm not sure I can ever get enough."

They lay there, wrapped in each other's arms, their bodies still buzzing with the aftermath of their passionate encounter, both knowing that this was just beginning of their story.

[mythicmanuscripts]

I’m obsessed with your sub!Aemond content! Please write anything nsfw with sub!Aemond and his wife

I seriously can't believe how good the reactions to my sub!aemond content has been! thank you all so so much. I think what I'm gonna do here is just list sone absolutely filthy sub!aemond ideas and headcannons and then we can go from there! You guys can send me your own thoughts, expand on one of my headcannons or ask me to speak more about something :))

NSFW sub!aemond x reader content below the cut!

I think he'd be into long term denial? Or at least, denial for a few days. You edge him for a few days and then when you finally let him cum he loses his mind.

This gonna sound ridiculous, but I think there's chance he's into chastity? This is because he just LOVES the idea that you completely control this pleasure? He'll sometimes ask for a cock cage to be put on his before he goes out to seek allies and then when he's back you play with him and make him cum.

Definitely has a competency kink, and not just for sexual situations, you showing your skill and competence in literally any field will never fail to make him flustered.

such a slut for choking and hair pulling

his favourite position for handjobs is to sit between your legs and lean back against your chest, it gives you full access and he feels so safe.

very very very big fan of being held down

I think he might actually have a secret fantasy of having people watch the two of you? He would never ever want a threesome or to watch you with someone else but to know people are watching you two? Amazing

It boils down to the fact that he kinda gets to show off? He has you!! You're taking him apart and giving him your full attention and everyone watching knows that the two of you belong to each other and no one else. He just dreams of how hot it would be to show everyone just how much the two of you love each other.

he loves the idea of free use? Of having a period of time where he knows you're just going to touch him and use him without saying a word. He has no idea when you're going to do it or what you will do, but he loves it. It kinda feels like he's just a toy for you?

he will melt the moment you manhandle him

For some reason I think touching his waist in public makes him lose his mind? If you walk up to him, wrap an arm around his waist and then gently guide him somewhere? His brain has turned off, no thoughts only pretty wife.

[iluvmattsbeard]

sorry, i’m busy (m.s)

master list

toxic!matt sturniolo x reader

warnings: swearing/drinking

preview: you and Matt have been having problems lately. your friend decides to drag you to the club to let loose and forget about your relationship problems. Matt starts blowing up your phone wondering why you aren’t responding to him. he calls you and you answer. he can’t help but notice the loud music through the phone which makes him furious.

a/n: likes, comments, and reblogs are very appreciated!

you were sitting down on your boyfriend Matt's bed as you look at your feet dangling. you were feeling overwhelmed lately. you and your boyfriend Matt have been going through a rough patch. even though you guys were an official couple, you guys agreed you guys weren't that serious. even though you guys established it, Matt was being a little hypocritical. right now, you both were in a argument once again. the same argument like every other time. apparently, he can check out other girls and maybe flirt a little but, when it came down to you, it was a huge a problem, like right now. "I can't believe you let that guy hit on you. right in front of my face." Matt shouts. you flinch coming back to your senses, "Matt, he was just talking to me. it was only a friendly conversation." you say calmly looking up at him.

he looks at you with a blank face before responding, "you can't be that clueless right?" he says. for a moment, you just stare at him asking yourself if he's really serious. you fix your posture, "are you really asking me that? what do you want me to say? how come when it comes down to me having a dude show interest in me, it turns into this big fuse? he wasn't hitting on me Matt, he was just trying to have a conversation with me, but if he was, so what? you let girls throw themselves onto you repeatedly." you say feeling the tips of your ears get hot.

he stands there looking around, "I know how guys act Y/n. they don't start conversations just to be 'friendly'. like I said, you can't be that clueless right?" he says. you scoff again with widened eyes, "Matt, I could say the same thing about the whores you interact with! you are so hypocritical. you make it so hard to be with you." you shout. it stays quiet for a bit, Matt was about to speak up but you interrupt him, "I think we should just take some time off from each other." his eyes widen, "what-." he starts off but you cut him off again.

"unless you're actually ready to be in a relationship with me, for real this time, because it's fucking draining, then reach out to me. if you want to be hypocritical then me too. yeah I agreed we weren't that serious but now, I want nothing more than a guy who actually treats me with respect." you shout getting up, picking up your purse. Matt watches you and goes to grab you but you snatch your arm away. "don't! if you want this, let us be apart for a bit." you say walking out his bedroom door, leaving him standing there in utter shock.

you get in your car, slamming the door closed. you sat there not feeling anything. I mean, how could you feel effected? it wasn't serious anyways right? you let out a soft sigh and start the engine. you drive off and head home. when you arrive at your place, you head inside and collapse on the couch. you turn on your phone to see missed calls from Matt. you just put your phone back down and bury your face into the couch. why did you even agree in the first place to be in a relationship with him if it was going to be like this?

as days go by, all you've been doing is rot in bed. Matt finally stopped calling and texting which made you feel a bit of relief. you were laying in bed eating a bag of chips until you were interrupted by your phone ringing. you pick it up to see your friend Aly calling. you hit answer and instantly get bombarded with words, " Y/n! where have you been? I haven't heard from you in days." she says. "hey, i'm sorry for being so distant. me and Matt-." you immediately get interrupted by her groaning, "seriously? Matt? don't tell me you're letting whatever happened effect you." you sit up slightly from her words. "i-i'm not!" you say. she lets out a gasp, "get up from bed Y/n! me and you are going to go out tonight." she says. "but-." you let out but she interrupts, "no buts! i'm heading my way over there right now."

you were going to speak up again but she hangs up leaving you sitting there with your mouth left open a bit. moments later, Aly arrives, banging on your door. you put your hands up covering your face and shake your head. you throw the covers off of you and head to the front door. she continues to knock and you open the door to her quickly pushing past you, "what is that-." you ask but she cuts you off, "no time for questions. I am going to get you ready for tonight. I have many outfit options for you to try." you just stand there looking at all the stuff in her hands, feeling overwhelmed. "does it have to be this big thing?" you ask. she looks at you with an unamused look, “of course it does. I would be a terrible friend if I just let you rot in bed.” she says.

“now come on!” she says looking at you up and down, “i’m going to need a bit more time on you.” she says heading to your room. you just let out a laugh and follow behind her. she lays down the stuff on your bed then sits you down. “alright, let’s get started.” she says opening up her makeup tote. she starts to do your makeup as she talks about the club you’re going to tonight. “who else will be there?” you ask with your eyes shut as she does your eyeshadow. she does a slight smokey eye . “just a few people from my work. there’s a few cute guys for you to probably distract yourself with.” she says. “I don’t know about that. i’m technically still with Matt-.” you utter out but she groans dramatically, “forget about Matt. tonight is the night you forget about your problems. he won’t be there so just have fun.” she says adding a touch of eyeliner.

“this is already coming out perfectly!” she adds on. eventually she finishes then, she stands you up, “okay try this on.” she says handing you a small article of clothing. you hold it up and look at it up and down, “is this a skirt?” you ask. “it’s a dress.” she says giggling. your eyes widen and hand it back to her, “another option please.” you say. “okay let me see…” she says looking at the rest of the clothes. “okay you have to wear this.” she says handing you a deep V cut long sleeve and mesh flare pants. “it’s see through!” you exclaim. “yeah! put on a pair of black panties and it’ll be flattering! now go.” she says.

you put on the outfit and show her. “Aly this is too much.” you say. she covers her mouth and smiles, “it’s absolutely perfect! now let me get ready and we can go.” she says. you sit down on the bed and you wait for her to finish. you go on your phone to see no messages or calls still. you hated that you cared so much even though you knew the relationship wasn’t right. after a bit, Aly finally finishes getting ready and reaches in her purse. you look at her curious about what she’s looking for. she pulls out two shooters and smiles big, “pre game!” she says.

“you know I don’t drink.” you say shaking your head. Aly rolls her eyes and mocks you, “‘you know I don’t drink.’ Y/n! what did you expect to do tonight? you look good and you need to feel good!” she says. you think about it for a moment and sigh, “okay fine. pass it to me.” you say and she smiles handing you one of the shooters. “what is this specifically?” you say looking at it. “vodka!” she says excitedly. you twist the cap open and smell it making a face. she just laughs and speaks, “cheers!” you guys clink your drinks and take the shots. Aly shakes her head and sticks her tongue out, “now that’s the stuff.” she says. you cover your mouth and make a sour face, “that’s different.” you both just laugh.

you guys get an uber and head to the club. you still had thoughts through out the whole car ride. you couldn’t help but think, “what could he be doing right now?”. as soon as you get there, you look at your phone one last time and shove it in your purse. you both then walk inside and show IDS. the night wasn’t how you were expecting it to go. Aly continued to pass you drinks and you always accepted it. your mind started to blur and you even forgot about the problems with Matt. you started dancing freely, eventually on a few guys. “how do you know how to move your body so well?” the random guy you were dancing on asks. you just shrug and continue your movements. he grips your hips and you close your eyes in the moment. Aly was dancing as well, keeping an eye on you just in case.

you turn around and wrap your arms around the guy’s neck and open your eyes looking at him. he started to lean in but your phone started to buzz. “h-hold up!” you say moving away from the guy’s grip and take out your phone. it was Matt calling. you smirk a bit before hitting answer, “what do you want?” you say with slurred words. “Y/n i’m sorry I stopped texting and calling. I gave you enough space. can we please talk?” he says. “I don’t know!” you shout through the music. Matt moves the phone away from his ear and looks at the screen confused. he places the phone back up to his ear and asks, “where are you?” you giggle a bit before responding, “wouldn’t you like to know.” Matt tenses up, “this isn’t funny. what are you doing? are you drinking?” he says. “if I am, it’s none of your business!” you say with a smile and playful tone.

“so you wanted space so you could go put yourself out there? you don’t even drink.” he says. “I think you’re cutting out!” you lie. “don’t hang up this phone Y/n!” he utters. “we need to talk! tell me where you are!” he was starting to get impatient. “sorry, i’m busy Matt!” you shout looking at the random guy next to you. “who is Matt?” the guy asks which Matt hears through the phone and it makes him hang up angrily. you move the phone away from your ear and look at the screen, “just some guy.” you say, not mentioning the fact he’s your boyfriend that you’re currently on a break with.

Matt’s POV

once I heard the guy on the other side of the phone, it drove me over the edge. i stand there pacing as I try to think of where I can find her. that’s when I remembered I have her friend added on snapchat. Aly constantly posted what she was up to. like anybody cares but, I care in this circumstance. I open the app and click her story. only one snap? I analyze the picture of the busy crowd. I walk out my room and go to my brother Chris. he always went out and partied so he must know where this place was. I barge into his room and he glances at me, “can I help you?” he asks. I walk over to him and place the phone in front of his face, “where is this?” I ask. Chris looks at the photo and laughs a bit, “why? you having FOMO?” he humorously says.

“Chris cut the shit, where is this place?” I ask one more time. he puts his hands up and laughs, “i’ll send you the address right now.” he pulls out his phone and starts typing, “why though?” he asks. “none of your business.” I mutter. he looks at me, “I can just not send this to you.” he says with a blank expression. I shut my eyes in frustration and groan, “Chris just fucking hurry up.” I say which he shakes his head to. “take me with you.” he says with a smile. “where you guys going?” Nick says walking in the room. I turn to face him and scoff in annoyance, “look, i’m going to go find Y/n.” I say. Nick starts to laugh, “oh your little situation-ship.” I just shake my head, “it’s not a situation-ship. listen, i’m just worried she’s getting herself into trouble.” I respond.

“are you sure? or are you worried that other guys are hitting on her right now?” Nick says which makes Chris burst out into laughter. I shoot a glare at Chris, “send the address.” he just stares at me, “only if I can come!” he says. “me too!” Nick adds on. “fine! let’s go.” I express feeling defeated. I walk out the room and grab my car keys. shortly after, Nick and Chris join me, walking out to my car. Chris puts the address on the GPS and I head my way to the location. “so Aly is there right?” Chris asks. I just focus on the road ignoring him. I was stressed out to the point I had a good grip on the steering wheel. “hello?” Chris speaks once again. I loosen my grip and sigh, “yes Chris she’s there.” I utter which makes Chris smile.

“can you try calling Y/n on my phone?” I ask. “yeah sure.” Chris responds picking up the phone. he rings Y/n and it goes straight to voicemail. “try again.” I mutter. he tries again and the same outcome happens. “damn she probably turned off her phone.” Chris says. “or blocked you.” Nick adds on which Chris laughs at. I just glare at Nick through the rear view mirror which makes his face go expressionless. as soon as we get there, I get out the car right away with Nick and Chris following behind me. the bouncer asks for my ID and I show him. “I forgot mine.” Chris says with a nervous laughter. I look at the bouncer and he speaks, “I mean you guys are triplets right?” Nick just stands there with a blank face, “definitely not.” he blurts out causing the bouncer to laugh, letting us in.

when we head inside, I immediately start searching the place, trying to find her in the crowd. “help me look for her!” I shout over the music to my brothers. they both nod and look as well. where could you be Y/n? moments later, Chris stands there laughing. I look at what he’s looking at and freeze. there she was, on her knees with her mouth open with Aly pouring a bottle of some sort of liquid down her throat. I felt myself heating up as I make my way over to her. “you’re doing so good!” I hear Aly say to her as she continues to chug. “Y/n!” I shout which causes the two girls to look at me with wide eyes.

Y/n’s POV

as I was on my knees, I hear someone shout my name. I turn my head quickly to see a visibly angry Matt. I get up quickly, wiping my mouth. “so this is what you’re so busy with?” he says with his arms crossed. I just blink and also glance at Aly who is also standing there speechless. “is this Matt?” the random dude from earlier asks. his name was Shawn. I turn to look at him and nod. “who the fuck are you?” Matt asks uncrossing his arms. I turn my head to look back at him when he spoke. “i’m Shawn. who are you?” the boy says. “i’m her boyfriend.” I widen my eyes at Matt’s words.

“boyfriend?“ Shawn scoffs with a laugh, “clearly you weren’t even on her mind when she was dancing on me earlier.” I stare at Matt as I watch him tense up. it was obvious how furious he was. he looks at me and speaks up, “come with me now.” Matt demands. I look at him and stand there frozen, not knowing what to do. “Y/n let’s go.” Matt speaks up again. “she doesn’t want to go with you.” Shawn says. “look, I don’t give a shit about what you say. i’m talking to her, not you.” Matt says. “how about you fuck off?” Shawn blurts out. Matt starts to step closer with his fist in a ball and I stop him, “Matt! let’s go.” I say dragging him and I out of the place. I was stumbling a bit from all the drinking that I had to slightly balance myself on him. as soon as we were outside, I let go of him and stand in front of him.

End of Y/n’s POV

he looks at you up and down and scoffs, “what are you wearing?” he asks. you look down at your outfit and back up rolling your eyes, “clothes.” you respond. “no shit Y/n. this-.” he tugs on my shirt slightly, “this isn’t you. the alcohol? I mean come on.” he says. “what? come on what? isn’t this what you’re into anyways?” he stands there confused by your words. “what are you talking about?” he asks. you scoff, “the girls you interact with. even though we’re in a relationship you let these type of girls constantly hit on you, and you’re fine with that! you act like i’m not your girlfriend Matt. but once I start to act like them, you don’t like it?” you pause for a bit letting out a breath, “like I said before. you’re so hypocritical. of course you’re angry because finally i’m showing you what you basically do to me!” you shout.

“I came out to distract myself from the problems in our relationship. is it even considered relationship? because this thing between us, you let other people get in the way.” he stands there looking away a bit. “yeah this isn’t me. it shouldn’t have to be me but you got me to this point where I was desperate enough to want something to forget you!” “Y/n-.” he says quietly but you cut him off, “no! you don’t take me seriously.” “I do take you seriously Y/n. why do you think i’m here?” he says making you let out a sarcastic laugh, “maybe because you couldn’t help but stand the thought of some other guy touching me or paying attention to me.” you say.

“look me in the eyes and tell me that’s not the reason why you’re here.” you say looking at him. he looks at you and stays quiet. you get closer to him and look up at him just inches away from his face, “you didn’t like the thought of that guy in there running his hands down my body.” you whisper. “or how our bodies were pressed up against each other as I danced on him.” he looks into your eyes as he gulps. he can smell the alcohol lingering from your mouth. “or how about how he-.” you were quickly silenced by Matt’s lips pressed against yours. you kiss back and his grip on your waist made you give in to his touch. he pulls away looking into your eyes and has one hand gripping your chin, “i’ll let that shit slide.” he says. “but if you tell me anything else, i’ll make sure to remind you who does it better.” he says making you gulp now.

he runs his hands down the sides of your body, “because I know no one could touch you the way I do.” he whispers making you feel a shiver down your spine. you pull away from him and adjust yourself, “how about remind me first how you’ll change for this relationship. then maybe, i’ll let you do the other thing.” you say. he pokes his tongue out in the side of his mouth and scoffs with a smile, “got it.” he says.

[buttdumplin]

Polariods Pt 2: You’ve got intense baby fever and Simon makes a complete meal out of it, especially now that he’s got his trusty camera.

cw: poly 141, afab gn!reader, breeding, handjobs, this one has a lot more of the boys amongst themselves

word count: 1.8k

Part 1

One of Simon’s favorite polaroids is from a spontaneous session. It’s the night of your solo date and you’re both getting settled for bed when you reach over to him with a whisper.

“Can I confess something?”

“Anything,” he’s worried he messed up on your date, missed something or overstepped a boundary.

“I’m drowning in baby fever.”

He blinks at you, all the tension in his body suddenly gone.

“Do you… want to go raw? I know we haven-”

Simon’s on you with a bruising kiss before you can finish. The sheets are ripped aside and you can feel his fingers dig at the flesh of your hips as he scrambles to get your clothes off. He grunts and pushes at your knee with his to get you to lift so he can slide your bottoms off before he rips them, and you quickly oblige.

You’re laughing against his mouth when he finally pauses. He sits back up to look you over, his panting loud, the tent in his gray sweatpants proud and straining. Once he’s made sure you’re okay, that you do actually want this, he reaches for the little pink camera from the nightstand.

“Yes,” he finally answers, “and I’ll keep going until it takes.”

You gasp and immediately the flash goes off. He’s captured you perfectly: a high blush on your cheeks, your sweet lips parted in surprise, eyes shining with hope.

Simon does keep that photo secret for a while. He knows for a fact you haven’t asked the same of the other boys yet, still a bit too shy to bring it up casually. The picture, he thinks, serves as a reward for being so patient and careful with you as he’s taken the polaroids. He’ll let himself be a little selfish with it, at least for a short while. The boys won’t hear a fucking peep about this from him, not until he’s gotten your express permission to do so.

Once you give him the green light, he takes his time, going after the boys when they least expect it. He wants maximum effect, after all. He’ll meet with one of the boys per week, swearing them to secrecy, wanting to keep the suspense and surprise for each of them. And each time, he comes back to report their reactions in exquisite detail.

~

He is watching a movie with Kyle when he tells him. It’s just the two of them, snuggled together on the couch, Kyle’s head resting on his chest. The movie was innocent enough, one they’d seen a handful of times already, though it had quickly become a source of comfort. Simon launches directly into it.

“They want a baby.”

Kyle leans up enough to look Simon in the eye. He instantly thinks Simon is talking about you, but he forces himself to slow his thoughts a moment. Surely it’s his own hopeful thinking, his own desires speaking. The hesitation is clear on his face.

Kyle whimpers, his heart pounding so hard that Simon must be able to feel it against his own chest.

Simon pulls out the picture from his pocket, knowing it’ll answer everything for him. Kyle isn’t even thinking when he takes the photo from him, the snatching making Simon chuckle. He stares at the polaroid silently, eyes moving to take in every inch of you in it. When he turns to Simon again, the sweet warmth of his eyes has been swallowed by blown pupils. He licks his lips slowly, pressing his throbbing cock into Simon’s thigh. Poor boy got so hard so fast it must have hurt.

“I know, sweet boy,” Simon coos, “You’ll get your turn.”

“You can practice on me in the meantime,” he whispers into Kyle’s ear.

Two days later, Kyle is handed a polaroid of his own. Your hair is splayed out on the pillow, your mouth slightly open, your eyebrows turned up in what he knows must have been you begging, and your hand wrapped around the base of your neck. Shadows hide the rest of the image, but he’s already fully aware of what’s there. He asks Simon to repeat every detail of your reaction over and over again as he palms himself through his pants.

“Let me help you with that, love,” he gently pries Kyle's hands away.

~

Johnny is fresh out of the shower, hair still dripping and a towel that’s definitely too short wrapped around his waist, when Simon tells him. He’s pulling socks from a drawer, his back is turned to the room, when Simon speaks.

“They asked me to fuck them raw. Fill them up.”

Johnny whips around, some droplets flying to hit Simon gently in the face. He chuckles as he wipes his face, not missing the sound of Johnny stomping towards him. He opens his eyes to see Johnny’s towel barely hanging on, his cock now straining against the material and pulling at the easy knot at his hip. Simon takes the picture out of his pocket to show him, describing what exactly led to the moment he captured. There’s a quick flash of jealousy in those sharp eyes, desire temporarily blinding him to the fact that he’ll get to participate as well. Johnny takes a big steadying breath.

“No contraception at all?”

“None.”

He sees Johnny’s body tense, muscles clenching and releasing, his body swaying a bit from barely being able to restrain himself from lunging towards the living room where he knows you are. In the back and forth, the knot of the towel gives up, exposing what little it was hiding to Simon’s eyes. He can clearly see Johnny’s cock twitch with excitement, a fat pearl of precum already at his tip. Simon wraps his big hands around Johnny’s hips, forcing him the few steps forward to lick at his slit. Johnny hisses at the attention, hands fluttering at his sides until Simon grabs one of them and brings it to the back of his head.

“Give it to me for now,” and Johnny is lost.

Two days later, Johnny’s polaroid is delivered. Shadows keep their secrets again, but he can very clearly see you sitting and leaning towards the camera, breasts pushed forward and arms holding you up, lips swollen from kissing and glossy with spit, an eager smile on your face. Even with the brightness of the flash, your irises are completely gone. After long moments of admiring the photo, Johnny crushes his mouth to Simon’s, pulling him down and shoving him onto the bed to straddle Simon himself.

~

John is the last one to receive his. Simon knows exactly how explosive his reaction will be, so he wants to give John all the time he needs. It’s just the two of them in the kitchen, finishing up the last touches of cleaning before tucking in for the night. Simon waits until he sees John no longer has something fragile in his hands when he pulls out the polaroid. John’s interest is immediate and undeniable, hands clenching and yearning to touch. Seeing you half naked will always cause that reaction in him. But then Simon speaks.

“Wants to be bred. Properly.”

His head snaps up to look at Simon, eyes looking for even the slightest hint of this being a prank or a joke of some kind. When Simon gives a small nod and smiles down at him, John finally lets the words sink in. He looks back at the photo, his sharp inhale loud in the empty room. His chest swells, holding his breath from the excitement of just hearing it and having it confirmed. Simon can’t help himself. He gently nudges John’s face back up, pulling him in for a needy kiss.

“We all get a turn,” he says into John’s lips, drawing a long moan out of him.

Simon well knows John will never make a move without explicit consent, so he wants to make things as clear as possible so John can enjoy this. He can already feel John’s cock hard against his own, but he wants the man to fully have this moment.

“You’re next,” he presses the words to John’s neck, and the older man’s knees nearly give out.

Simon wraps him up in his arms and lifts John onto the counter, making quick work of his captain’s belt. John’s panting breaths are loud above him as Simon bites and sucks at the flesh of his neck. He doesn’t give his back a second thought as he bends lower to take John’s nipple into his mouth, using his teeth to graze it lightly, and sucking hard, just as he knows John loves. John’s already lost in the moment and Simon can see it. His own actions and the sheer potential of these news overwhelming John with desire. Still, Simon can do more for him. He reaches down with calloused hands, teasing John’s cock through his boxers, fingers focusing on the growing wet spot over his tip.

“So sticky for me already. Gonna stuff ‘em full, aren’t you?”

Simon spends the rest of the night with both of their cocks in his hand, making John cum over and over again, telling him about the lovely little sounds you make as you take his cum.

Two days later, Simon gives John his photo, the pride in his walk evident. John almost wanted to take the photo himself, but he wouldn’t dream of overstepping. He’s well aware that this serves as a bonding ritual for you and Simon. He’s also not sure he could trust himself to be able to still snap the picture.

John’s picture is of you already flushed and messy, hair clearly having had hands running through, eyes shining with unshed tears, and the single most euphoric smile he’s ever seen on your face, even with your bottom lip bitten raw. The base of the photo wrinkles a tiny bit in his grip, even as John holds himself back, not letting his own hunger crush the precious item. He takes in a big gulp of air, and launches himself towards the bedroom where he knows you’re waiting for him. John’s a man on a mission now, and he’s going to do everything he can to recreate the image with you. Maybe add a couple of his own marks on your skin along the way.

Once he’s able to take a break and give you a breather, John goes back to thank Simon by dropping to his knees and taking that big cock down his throat.

And they won't say it, because they don't need to, but one of their favorite parts of their pictures is the fact that it's clear Simon is fucking you senseless in every single one of them. He may not be in the pictures, but they don't need to see him to recognize his handiwork.

AN: Bless the saint that is @mikichko, she's seen this in every stage and was always beautifully encouraging. I appreciate the fuck outta you, girl.

Pictures of the boys are next.

[adverbally]

Just Try to See in the Dark

Written for the @steddieangstyaugust prompt “Childhood” | wc: 1,263 | rated: T | cw: references to physical (nonsexual) child abuse and neglect, including description of injuries inflicted by a parent | tags: teacher steve, steve and eddie’s shitbag dads, hurt/comfort, shoutout to all the awesome teachers out there | title from “Close to Me” by The Cure

And with this, I’m officially caught up, just in time for the halfway point of the month! I appreciate everyone who has read and interacted with my work so far. I haven’t written this much in years and it’s all because of contributions from viewers like you. Thank you 💕

———

When Steve gets home from work, almost an hour later than usual, he goes straight into their bathroom and shuts the door.

Eddie watches him go. It’s not unusual after a long day. Sometimes Steve just wants to take a hot shower and start his evening fresh. But after half an hour, the water hasn’t turned on and Eddie is starting to worry.

He hovers outside the bathroom door for several minutes, unsure if he should check on Steve. It doesn’t sound like he’s moving around, which makes a dark corner of Eddie’s mind worry that he’s hurt. What if he fell? What if he wasn’t feeling well and something is really wrong?

It’s that terrifying prospect that finally forces Eddie to rap on the door. “Stevie?”

“Come in,” comes the muffled response.

Eddie opens the door carefully so he doesn’t accidentally hit Steve, but Steve is sitting fully-clothed in the empty bathtub on the other side of the room. “Hi, sweetheart,” Eddie greets him as he comes to sit on the closed toilet lid.

Steve has his knees tucked up to his chin, arms wrapped around his shins. He turns his head sideways so he can speak more clearly. “I had to call Child Services.”

Jesus. Steve loves his class of second graders like they’re his own children. To have to report some kind of abuse to one of them… no wonder Steve went straight to the peace and quiet of the bathtub. “Oh, baby. I’m so sorry.”

His eyes are dry, but Steve still rubs at his nose with the back of his wrist. “Yeah. Samantha. She had…” He gestures vaguely at his neck. “She usually has bruises somewhere, you know, she’s seven. But today she had actual fingerprints...”

Eddie drops to his knees on the rug next to the tub and gets his arms around Steve right as he starts to shake.

“And when I asked her about it, she just said, ‘He didn’t mean to!’ Like you can accidentally choke your own kid hard enough to leave marks like that.” Steve sniffs. “But he’s her dad and she loves him.”

With that, he buries his face in his knees and lets Eddie hold him.

Steve has always struggled with this part of being a teacher, even while he was working on his degree. Eddie can still see it so clearly, Steve pacing around the tiny dining table in their first apartment, ranting about mandatory reporting.

“You know what would’ve happened to me if a teacher said anything? My dad would’ve made us all smile and pretend everything was fine, and he would’ve beat the shit out of me as soon as the investigator left!” Steve had slammed his fist on the countertop as he passed.

“But we’re supposed to report immediately once we have reason to suspect abuse. Don’t take the time to make sure the kid is safe, don’t look at the broader pattern of incidents, just…” He had run out of breath there and couldn’t catch it for several minutes once he started crying, not out of sadness or worry but frustration.

It’s not frustration that drives Steve to tears now. It’s grief and fear for Samantha, for a younger version of himself, for the consequences of what the law requires of him.

“You’ve been looking out for her for a long time,” Eddie murmurs, chin hooked over Steve’s shoulder. The edge of the tub is digging into his side but he’ll be damned if he lets go of Steve right now. “This just confirms that your instincts were right. And hopefully now she’s gonna get help.”

“I’m scared that I just put her in a worse situation,” Steve admits, raising his head enough to wipe his cheeks with the sleeve of his sweater. “She shouldn’t have to deal with all this, she’s just a kid.”

Eddie vaguely remembers something about Sammy’s mom not being in the picture. “She can’t stay with an abusive parent just because she loves him. That’s why children don’t get to make the decisions here.”

Steve shakes his head. “But when she’s stuck in a foster home because of me—”

“Nuh-uh-uh, don’t even go there.” He ducks his head to look Steve in the eye. “She’s gonna be safe because of you. She’s gonna go home from school and not have to worry about her dad hurting her anymore. That’s huge.” He knows they can both understand that.

“I wish there was something else I could do,” Steve sighs.

“Just keep being the best second grade teacher in the state. Keep paying attention and listening to the kids. That’s what they need from you.”

Steve tilts his head to rest against Eddie’s shoulder. “It doesn’t feel like enough.”

“It’s more than you think.” Eddie kisses his temple, runs his fingers through Steve’s hair. “I had a teacher in fifth grade, Ms. Martin. It was, like, the year after my mom died, and I wasn’t coping at all. My dad was barely around to drop off some food for me once in a while. I was a nightmare student. Stole from the other kids, slept during lessons, started fights at recess.”

“It’s hard to care about school with stuff like that going on at home,” Steve says. Even now, he’s defending Eddie against shit that happened twenty years ago.

“Luckily for me, Ms. Martin understood that, too. She knew I was smart and I liked to draw, so she would assign me little projects. Stuff like illustrating a scene from the book we were reading or drawing a diagram of the parts of a plant or whatever. She let me work in her classroom at lunch and after school. Every day, she brought me a sandwich and a snack so I didn’t have to sneak food out of someone else’s lunchbox.”

Steve sits up to look at him with the most heartbroken expression. “Ed, that’s— she sounds incredible.”

“Yeah. She might not have fixed things for me outside of the classroom, but she made being at school a thousand times more bearable. Just by giving a shit.” He grins up at Steve. “Like you.”

“You know you do that kind of stuff, too, right? Like when you donated all those old dice sets for D&D Club, and when you helped me make Valentines for the whole class so nobody would feel left out. And when you delivered the pizzas for the Halloween party. And—“

Eddie hangs his head in an imitation of bashfulness. “I’m just your humble sidekick. All of that was your idea.”

“Then thank you for helping me make school more bearable for my kids.” Steve takes Eddie’s face between his big, gentle hands and kisses his forehead before angling his head back so their lips align.

“It’s my pleasure.” Eddie pushes himself to his feet with a groan as his knees creak. “Fuck, I’m getting to old to sit on the floor.”

Steve holds both hands out to Eddie, arms fully outstretched as if asking him to pull him upright. When Eddie doesn’t move, he whines, “C’mon, my ass is asleep. At least you were on the cushy rug!”

With a put-upon sigh, Eddie heaves Steve to his feet. “Shower first or food? I made meatballs.”

“Meatballs!” Steve throws his arms around Eddie’s neck, mostly for balance as he steps out of the bathtub. “You really do love me,” he fawns, batting his lashes for effect.

“You’re okay, I guess.” Before Steve can object, Eddie darts in for a quick kiss and darts off. “Wash up, dinner’s in five!”