#I’m invisible

[swaniigirl]

I don’t think I’ll be loved or visible by anybody at all….i don’t see that day not now nor in the future.

[cichocicho]

[love] i’ve been wishing for it when blowing out birthday candles, seeing a shooting star or a fallen eyelash, for as long as i can remember

[boythingguy]

Hhhnnnm uhm uhmm uh.. hmn

im so surprised catheters arent more common. you can force someone to be full. spreading open your legs and having yet another one of your holes claimed. feeling yourself be filled more and more and they are in total control of your bladder. being so exposed and giving up the right to pee. being filled to the brim while they watch. wiggling and squirming and panting because you're so so so stretched but no, honey, not yet, you can pee when i say. watching all the water flow down the tube and into your body.

how is that not so fucking hot??

[bikananjarrus]

haymitch carrying lou lou and hiding under a group of willow trees so the capitol can’t take her body right away, to years later, katniss singing the meadow song to a dying rue which starts with the line, “deep in the meadow, under the willow”

[methoughtsphantom]

Danny fake guardian angel au

You know how sometimes it’s highlighted how you have to be very careful on what you say in the presence of a spirit because they can twist your words and end up bidding yourself to it?? well uno-reverse-card the spirit also has to be careful on what he says because when Danny had said he owed the dude one for coming to his rescue in a gala Vlad had dragged him to, he didn’t expect that to be taken literally.

danny: wait seriously?? i literally say that all the time!

cw: not after being crowned ghost king, you haven’t

danny: but—but I was also human when I said it. doesn’t that protect me or smth

cw: *shakes his head*

danny:

danny: omg this is a nightmare

cue timmy’s brucequest period (cuz he’s the guy) being so high strung and tired, he just wants some company, which is a so low stakes thing to want the deal Danny unintentionally goes sure we can do that and pulls him towards the guy, despite Timmy never outright saying he wants company. (tim always speaks in the sanctity of his own mind, not out loud)

So. random spirit manifesting. Tim going all who the fuck are u

and Danny panicking and saying your guardian angel

Tim not being impressed while Danny promptly blushes like a moron because that did not come off as he wanted it to.

Yes accidental dead tired where the dynamic goes from Tim trying to shake this probably demon that somehow latched to him being all like ??? dude leave me alone, and Danny being there like bitch i’m trying

to

huh. im actually being protected by a spirit like he said he would. he’s strangely an idiot but also he’s overpowered and just never leaves my side which he says it’s an angel obligation but I think it’s bullshit but also hoping it’s not because it appeals to my crippling fear of abandonment (anyways he really seems to take after those little cartoon angels that poof into your shoulder to keep from me doing wrong decisions) translate into my future boyfriend seems increasingly appalled to what i am up to

meanwhile danny

Bitch you better thank your god I’m dead because otherwise I would already been killed. I did not sign up for a assassins what the fuck I thought you were a normal civilian not a literal superhero and omg that is a fruitloop. no no back off you wrinkly raisin this is my emotional support idiot you can’t have him and what do you mean you’re messing with time whatever this way I can get back to clockwork—

[panicismydefaultstate]

Just in case anyone else needed to hear this today-

Your health is not your fault. You didn’t do anything to “deserve” this. And you are right, it isn’t fair. You are allowed to feel upset, hurt, angry and jealous that your health, body or mind disables you.

It’s not fair, and that sucks. You are allowed to scream about that as much as you need to.

[currentlyfreebleeding]

me as a disabled person constantly trying to maintain my sense of self love while also battling a constant sense of frustration and anger over how my body works

[dizylizy]

nbd just a couple kings bitching it out

[nagichi-boop]

Gerald’s Journal - Disability representation

I read scans of Gerald’s Journal and I have to talk about it. Not the lore or anything like that, but the disability rep. I didn’t expect to cry reading this.

Please don’t look at this post if you don’t want to be spoiled about what’s in this journal. If you do want to read it, you can find scans here. Credit to this Twitter/X thread for the images I’ll use.

I don’t have much to say about this image, but it is nice to see Maria using a mobility aid. It’s not often we get representation for an ambulatory wheelchair user.

I do wonder about Maria’s relationship with her parents. They weren’t happy with Gerald’s wish to bring her to the ARK so that he could research a cure for her, but they let her go anyways? Maybe Gerald got some sort of order to get her to go or Maria decided she wanted to go with him, but it seems a little odd to me. I’ll expand on this a little later.

Quote from right page: “[Maria] is growing into a lovely young woman. It breaks my heart that someone as bright and energetic as her is diminished by disease. There are no visible effects, and I’ve caught my fellow researchers muttering to each other, doubting her illness. It is infuriating. I find all my reason and restraint vanished when she’s slighted.”

Oh my days, I’ve never felt so seen by a piece of media and it just so happens to be my special interest video game. I am tearing up again thinking about this. Maybe that’s silly but to have a character express his frustrations about people doubting the invisible disability of his grandchild is so touching. I wish people in my life were more like Gerald. People with invisible illnesses get doubted so much because we “look fine”, but it’s so invalidating to have your struggles questioned just because the symptoms aren’t as visibly obvious.

Quote from left page: “[Maria] doesn’t know the full scope of what [Shadow] has been designed for, but she understands he will be under tremendous strain. She’s helped me conceptualize a number of accessories that will help focus his power and aid in his mobility.”

So we now have confirmation that Shadow’s air shoes and inhibitor rings are akin to mobility aids. I headcanoned this but I didn’t know they’d flat out confirm it like that. My favourite character is canonically disabled physically (and I’d argue mentally given his PTSD). I don’t have much to say about this besides being happy that my favourite character is now even more relatable.

It also makes a lot of sense for Maria to help create them because she has experience with her own disability and can offer a perspective that an able bodied person couldn’t. That and it makes Shadow’s connection so much stronger. His mobility aids were designed by Maria. He didn’t just help her with her disability - she helped with his. He wouldn’t be able to function without what she and Gerald created for him.

Quote from the right: “Back on Earth [Maria’s?] parents have been blessed with another little girl. They’re already run tech(?) and she has none of the genetic markers like to [Maria’s] condition. While this was welcomed news, the unspoken commentary was received loud and clear.”

(I am assuming they’re talking about Maria’s sister, but I guess they could also be talking about her cousin.)

So did Maria’s parents see their new daughter as a replacement? If I’m reading that correctly, it’s so sad. Do you think Gerald told Maria about her sister/cousin? If she did know about it, I bet she was excited to meet her. But I get the feeling that her parents back home didn’t really care about her anymore given what Gerald says in his journal. It hurts that much more when you consider how much Maria wanted to go home, perhaps even return to her family.

I feel like all of this makes Maria’s death more tragic for both Gerald and Shadow. For Gerald, he did so much reason and sacrificed so much in order to try and find a cure for Maria. He supported her when no one else did. And from his perspective, despite her illness and the judgement of others, including potentially her own family, she was still positive. And yet she was killed, and he only found out about her death because of a report that had her name on it (I think anyways?).

From Shadow’s perspective, she is the person who gave his name meaning. Despite most being distant and weary of her, she was immediately friendly to him and helped teach him about the world. She helped created the devices used to reduce his pain and control his powers. He quite literally carries part of him with her. She was his sole reason for existing for a long time. And despite being this super supportive, kind, loving person, she was killed. I can imagine him being mad at Gerald for messing with his memories, but I figure there’s a degree of understanding, even if he doesn’t fully agree with what Gerald did. The difference between them both is Shadow’s purpose shifted beyond Maria while Gerald’s did not. Anyways, I digress - this post is about disability rep, not Shadow lore.

I love this and Dark Beginnings for their direct and indirect disability rep. My love for Shadow and Maria has only grown and I have a deeper appreciation for Gerald. I wish more people were as understanding as he is towards people with invisible disabilities.

I don’t really have a conclusion. I just really wanted to yap about the journal entries.

[slipintotragedy]

it’s disability pride month so i want to talk about one of my least favorite stigmas around celiac disease

in lots of media, being gluten free is played as a joke or something someone is to be annoying/pretentious. the amount of times i’ve heard jokes like that is honestly disheartening.

it also doesn’t help with the general population’s belief that celiac disease/gluten sensitivities are not serious. i’ve been diagnosed with celiac disease for 3 years now, i’ve been gluten free for about 4, and it has substantially improved my quality of life. i can’t afford risking cross-contamination because it leaves me sick for days. nearly every time i have a reaction to gluten, it’s hard for me to even drink water the next day because my body is an absolute mess. i’m miserable and fatigued for days until my body heals. not to mention the long term effects that have left me unable to stand/walk around for extended periods of time because my joints are pretty weak.

being gluten free NEEDS to be taken seriously. it’s not a choice i’ve made because i’m hoping on the latest fad, its not a preference, it’s an autoimmune disorder.

[silly0shark]

I just needed more people to see this

[easyaesthetics]

Persona 5 Royal + The Onion & Reductress headlines 2/?

[lupusbaby]

Sorry to rant again but my mom keeps going on about how the meds I have to be on to be able to walk are “so addictive” and I “really need to be careful with that stuff” and can we please stop making people feel guilty for taking medications?

Before I got my diagnosis it was, “well if it is autoimmune, you can’t take the meds because they give you cancer”. Guess what?? My diagnosis ended up meaning that if I DON’T take those medications I will live in excruciating pain and die early.

Do you think I really like taking all these meds? The ones that increase my risk of developing all kinds of harmful secondary conditions? The ones that make it so I could potentially die from a usually harmless infection because I’m immunocompromised?

It’s between being “addicted” to Gabapentin or being able to walk, Mom.

[the-angry-acrobat]

I literally just saw someone saying “I like this trope” when talking about a few characters with canes/mobility aids in media and I’m bewildered to say the least. there a too many problems with this sentiment to phrase them all but disabled people are not a fucking trope, we’re people. I didn’t realise this was astounding!!! disabled people don’t exist purely in media and literature!!! like, not only are we ostracised and stigmatised and treated like a condition or a rarity or someone something to pity, or dehumanised, but now we’re also being reduced to a recurring fictional archetype. there is literally so little disability representation in media and literature that when people find out about more then one book/movie/show/whatever that includes a character with a disability, they don’t go “oh yeah, a person with a disability is written into this story” they go “oh, the disability trope is popular at the moment” or “I’m really into the mobility aid/disability trope as of late” and I don’t think I could roll my eyes harder I’ve literally seen my brain at this point. I’m losing my fucking mind out here. there is no way people actually see us as a TROPE omfg

[currentlyfreebleeding]

no girl i just have chronic pain