#I’ve got a project due in like 4 days

[g1rlb0yatth3v4mp1r3m4n510n]

I’m procrastinating!!! I have stuff I need to do!!! I can’t stop drawing Alice dyer!!!

[duckytree]

Hi everyone!

I’d like to start by thanking you all for 2 years together (4 if you count the old blog). You’ve followed me through high school into university, during and after COVID. I’ve looked forward to seeing your reblogs, comments, asks, DMs, etc. every day. I’ve read every note on this blog. Some of you even call me your favourite artist, an honour that is unimaginable to me even now.

This blog started as just a digital storage for me to save and keep my art, so I never expected it to gain the traction and support it did. Recently, we surpassed 10k followers, beyond anything I ever expected when I first started posting my art.

However, I’m sorry to announce that I’ll be retiring this blog. My reasons for doing so vary, and a lot of them are due to extremely personal reasons. I’ve been sitting on the idea for a long time, and I’ve finally made the decision. I’m sorry my explanation isn’t satisfactory and leaves you confused, but I really can’t afford to spill my guts out on the internet (some people can be cruel).

I left so many loose ends, series I never finished, asks I never answered, promised sequels and planned projects that I never got to do. I never wanted to leave you guys hanging like this and I hope you will forgive me.

Maybe in the future when I’m ready I’ll bring this blog out of retirement, or maybe I’ll make a new one for a fresh start. Maybe not. I don’t want to say that this is my last time seeing you, because you’ve made my teenage years so special. But I don’t want to give you false hope in case I really don’t end up coming back. If I do, hopefully you will be greeted with a better and more put together version of me than right now.

Thank you all, I’m so happy to have been a part of your day.

[thesharktanksdriver]

Pen Pal (Platonic)

Part 1 part 2 part 3 Part 4

Y’all asked for Konig and y’all have received

This probably isn’t how people thought the initial meeting would go but I decided to shake it up a bit

Cause I like being silly goofy like that

I’m planning to soon do something with shadow company and have that lead into the main story of modern warfare 2 so be prepared

(Y’all can tell I’ve started watching Nana)

high school is shit

That was something you remember clear as day. The reason as to why is much more complicated than the reaction

Perhaps is was due to the people, petty drama, bad teachers, the time or place but in general high school just generally wasn’t the best

You went their for basically nothing in the end since you enlisted as quick as you could

But if there was one thing high school did for you it was helping you find one good friend

It was during English class that your teach had the idea of giving everyone a slightly different school project

She got in contact with her brother (who if you remember correctly was in the military abroad) and had him help her set up a pen pal program

Simply put, she gave everyone an assigned soldier to write to abroad

Simply put, she gave everyone an assigned soldier to write to abroad

Simply put, she gave everyone an assigned soldier to write to abroad

Simply put, she gave everyone an assigned soldier to write to abroad

Simply put, she gave everyone an assigned soldier to write to abroad

Simply put, she gave everyone an assigned soldier to write to abroad

Simply put, she gave everyone an assigned soldier to write to abroad

Fun right?

For others it was a chore but for you it was something that had changed your direction in life

The first letters were slightly awkward as expected. You were a young and dumb teen and this was someone who had likely killed men with his bear hands

But after a while you began to enjoy the days in which your reach would deliver mail to the class

He didn’t tell you his real name for safety reason but he did tell you his call sign “könig” German for “king”

He’s from Austria, enjoys mundane things like baking and reading

Particularly books like pride and prejudice and The hobbit which leads to you both giving each other recommendations

It feels nice writing to him, talking about your problems to a neutral source who gives you the best advice he can

Though he talks of the horrors he’s seen there’s a certain sense of pride in his words as he talks of being a protector

of people like you

At some point during those letters it became more than just talking to a stranger, you both had become friends despite never meeting

As the initial project comes to a close you keep sending him letters and he always responds back

At this point you began to open up about your life just as he does the same

König talks of his childhood. Being the lone child whom the others bullied, called a monster due to his highly

How it lead to his already bad social anxiety to become worse as their words cut him down from a mountain to a grain of sand

In turn you told him of your childhood, your fears and anxieties since you didn’t know what to do with your life

The constant pressure to succeed in a world that was against you since the start

The loneliness you felt on a constant basis despite the facade of a smile you out on

During this duration you didn’t tell him of your plan to enlist

You knew he’d be upset, be angry at the mere thought of putting your life on the line

With each letter you place little stickers and glitter inside as a fun surprise for him

At one point even getting a wax seal of a crown that you used gold and black wax on your letter from there on out

As the end of the year rears it’s ugly head into view, and as you prepare for graduation and prom you decided to add a new little surprise in one of your letters

Whatever König had expected it certainly was a little Polaroid of you smiling back at him

On the back of it addressed “to my Hero”

The letter is a thank you note, heartfelt and pure. He even sees small tear marks now dried up on the yellowed and soft paper

Old pressed flowers (Edelweiss specifically) packed into it just as his Oma did for her scrapbooks like he had mentioned months ago

He cries while reading it, your words forever ending up ingrained in his mind every time he went into the battlefield

It made him remember why his job was so important

To serve, and most importantly to protect people like you

He keeps one of those dried Edelweiss in his pocket for good luck and keeps that letter and Polaroid locked away safely

You continued to mail to him even after joining, you end up lying to him about getting a normal job and now just being busy

He mails them to your home address and you have your landlord mail it to you at base

Your lie continues on…until 141 teams up with the private military contractor “Kortac” for a mission

König never told you who he was working for so you initially didn’t think much of it

In fact you were kinda annoyed to be dragged by Ghost to a stuffy meeting room to meet these guys

Like why meet people in this stuffy room?, why not take them around base? Or literally anywhere else

Oh well, at least you get to spin around in the spiny office chairs

And then the group comes in

You stop spinning, eyes now looking over the men who are sitting down expect for the one in a sniper hood

He’s tall, like really tall, tall enough that he has to bend over to ever get through the frame of the doorway

Damn…you wish you had the height when Price would place your shit on the highest shelf. It would save you a lot of times you climbed stuff to reach it

He continues to stand there, staring at you making you feel a bit uncomfortable under his gaze

Ghost notices this and glances at your and then at him. He sends a glare but the guy doesn’t even notice

“Oi König!, you alright?” One of his teammates asked disrupting him from his thoughts

Now it’s your turn to be left staring, mouth agape as terror fills

Uh oh

As Price talks with the captain and chatter fills the room he’s still staring and Ghost notices how your still uncomfortable

You turn to him asking to leave the room as you glance back at König

He’s hesitant but trusts you so he nods, not before grabbing your wrist and adding “if he causes you any problems he’ll for me aight?”

You nod and leave the room

König following after and into the silent halls of the base

To say he’s angry is an understatement, he’s fucking pissed

Your lucky you took him far enough away from the room or else they’d hear him yelling in furious German

And it’s German so it makes him sound even more pissed off and scary than he already is

At some point he takes a step forward and tries to place a hand on your shoulder and you flinch back

He freezes, now seeing your teary eyes as you stare up at him. Their glassy almost like the eyes of old porcelain dolls he’d see in antique stores

He takes a step back, his mind now clearing up as he finally asks “why?”

“Why enlist?, do all of this?. You had a bright future ahead of you” he sounds defeated as he says this, hands shaking as he adds “was it because of me you joined?!, I never wanted that for you. You shouldn’t have to throw Aw-“

“König it was my choice so don’t you dare start blaming yourself for this. I never had a future in the first place, I had no fucking clue what to do with my life and this was the only thing that came to mind. I joined because I thought for once I could do something good with my life, to help others like you do”

He goes silent after that, your almost convinced for a moment that he’s a statue

And then he crumbles like a ancient monument meant to last

He hold you as if your made of glass, his friend who he was fighting for is now on the battlefield just like him

And like when you sent that letter thanking him he cries

You just hold him, now realizing you had a much tighter grip on his life than you had expected

You always thought that he probably saw you as annoying or just a fun little acquaintance but you realize you were much more than that

You were his friend, a true and honest to god friend

Safe to say after that König is basically hovering at your side kinda like how Ghost does on missions

Just a silent looming form as you giggle and watch TikTok’s, everyone else in the room wondering if you even notice him behind you

You do, and you even show him the ones you have on your saved

Ghost is concerned from how you went from being afraid to now having him trail you like a puppy

Even after you explain what happened he’s still giving König the side eye

Due to his social anxiety you help König out while around base, talking for him when the words choke up in his mouth and generally being there to give him the boost of confidence he needs when talking to others

Having social anxiety doesn’t mean the same thing as being shy so you go about helping make sure he isn’t overwhelmed by people and social situations

When he does feel like there’s too many people for him to handle you take him out the room and to a quiet place for him to breath

He’s a big gentle giant (with you at least)

Definitely thinks it’s funny when he picks you up by the back of your vest like a kitten, even more so when you kick and complain

Everyone does a double take when they see you literally climb him to reach the top shelf for something

Scary giant and small menace

When you find out he can’t be a sniper due to his height you take him out the the gun range and have him snipe for you

At some point he probably teaches you a few German phrases for fun, he finds it cute when you try out a word (pronounce it horribly) but look to his for approval

You now do the “no! Little German boy don’t-“ meme and he’s really confused cause he’s Austrian and not German

You steal one of his shirts for fun (he actually left it out for you to steal since he saw you eyeing it) and it completely drowns you

Like it’s going to your knees or passing it

Gaz and him actually get along pretty well after you introduce them to one another

One time Price, Soap and Ghost walked in on you and Gaz forming a circle around him and walked out

You fucking cackle when he angrily yells in German,

A good example of this so when he stubs his toe and scared the crap out of Price when it sounds like you and soap successfully summoned a demon after pulling out the Barbie ouija board he banned for a reason

He finds it really heartwarming you’ve kept all the letter he sent to you like he did with yours

Legit thinks your code name sums you up pretty well

Sometimes you stick those little stickers that have motivational messages onto him

He always smiles when he finds them

Ghost eventually comes around and the two train together

People make bets one which giant is gonna win, and you get a share of these bets cause everyone goes to you to ask and you say you’ll give it to them for a fee

His animal cross island is so aesthetically pleasing, like your not sure how long he’s spent on this but he’s spent on it but it’s really cute

You call him “Koni” and he calls you “ankle biter” in German but tells you it means something else

Probably threatens people in German if they came weird comments and when you ask hims about it he’s all “oh it was nothing, they just asked for directions” and then gives them a death stare

He’s surprisingly confident while on the field which is a complete contrast to his rather quiet and anxious manner outside of it

You make him watch anime with you, for the love of god don’t show him Nana cause he will sob so hard

Just stick to slice of life or fluffy range stuff unless you want him hugging you like a stuffed animal and crying into your shoulder for an hour

If he’s around when you have a nightmare he ends up kinda holding you and mumbling phrases in a mix of English and German

he eventually gets really bummed out and anxious that he and Kortac has to leave soon

He finds himself becoming more spacey as you ramble on about the day

You notice of course, knowing the reason why so you don’t bring it up in case of upsetting him

As time ticks by you spend days making memories with him and the team, he finds himself becoming closer with 141 than with the people he’s actually teammates with

On that last night before he leaves you spend it with him, Soap, Gaz, Ghost and Price bundled up in your room watching movies

He doesn’t fall asleep that night, you and Gaz are the only ones who do in the end

When he leaves that next morning you hug him goodbye and give him your phone number and address

“Now you can text me whenever and if you have time off you can drop by. I’ll still send letters for old times sake though”

He smiles beneath his hood, you can see from how his eyes crinkle ever so slightly

[marthammasters]

@revenge-of-the-assbutt @firstaidspray @sachermorte thank u for enabling me NEWAY since I’ve been too dead to do any of my own hobbies here’s some thoughts on House & Co’s physical hobbies/lil crafts & such they do in the comfort of their home<3:

House: canonically does a ton of shit like piano/guitar/cooking/so on but In the spirit of him resisting change (At Times!) I think he’s gotten very good if not makes a fun time out of mending clothes🥺…. Didn’t wanna throw away his favorite shirts so it started w small hems+resizings until he looked up more tips online and get decorative w it. Pretty contrasting colors/patterns now randomly laid on his shirts and pants w only the careful eye(Cuddy+Wilson) to notice. If anyone cares

Wilson: gardening. Well as much one can do within his apartments/pretty nonplant friendly homes. He’s not a super greenthumb expert but it always gives him a lil confidence boost when he’s able to grow out spices and herbs & such to use in his cooking ♥️

Cuddy: she seems like a collage-making kind of girlie💗💗 no specific theme in em or anything but she still holds onto the potential self-aid of making vision boards and it’s relaxing for her to go thru magazines/etc + cut out whatever interests her enough to use. Rachel tries and cutely fails to help 💓💓💓

Chase: ironically enough for the prodigal son lol but . He genuinely seems like someone who enjoys spending time in silence/music doing puzzles w 1000+ pieces & such #DWEEB❤️. House once got him a 5000 piece puzzle of a kangaroo or w/e as a joke and he is Determined to complete it. In due time chase…

Foreman: the thought of Foreman crocheting is so dear to me….. he doesn’t rly tell anyone ab it but there’s a lot of half-finished + worn projects as proof around his home. #angsting it sorry but I think he took it up after his mom started deteriorating bc she crocheted too and it was a fonder reminder + sumn they could do together. One yr he gave the fellow ducklings scarves he made as Xmas gift. Not that he told him he made it tho😅#repressed

Cameron: I think she has a moderately sized zen garden on a table somewhere in her home she takes SERIOUS. Changes the lines/circles in the sand periodically, sees what new arrangement of rocks she can do etc etc. Girl that thing is meant to be relaxing!! also colorcodes/sticker-covers/etc her planner like a CHAMP.

Amber: she has the most well-detailed prettiest most concerning-when-read journal/diary everrrr. Dedicates a specific time in every day to it w specific pens of various colors. Some of the recounting even have lil doodles or if she takes the journal out w her she draws her view wherever she is<3 they’re literal chickenscratch but its still fun and fulfilling. It’s a bibleesque piece to Wilson’s Amber shrine btw

Thirteen: she’s hard to analyze for me soz 13heads I do love her #trust… nonetheless I bet she goes to hella dance classes. Partially for the exercise partially for the fun partially for the need to experience Life partially for the women. Heh. She’s rly into zumba, jazz, contemporary classes to be specific.

Taub: ok ok so remember when he did/bought pottery or w/e to convince his wife he was being faithful. I think he’d do it for real as a joke/alibi then be like wait…. This is kinda fun…? There’s no constraints to what he can make + the sculpting reminds him vaguely of plastic surgery work so he keeps it up.

Kutner: I think he draws + writes his own lil comics/zines 🫶 they’re mostly scifi or superhero and more than a lil inspired by his fave preexisting medias . He likes using the crazy cases he’s experienced w House as story inspo. Also he 4 sure runs dnd campaigns so well and fun. Btw

Masters: she’s a suckerrrr for trivia nights my lil nerd wife<3 but um anyway when she wants to relax she Really doesn’t want sumn that can become info overload so in free time she’ll make friendship bracelets, lil shapes/figures out of string, etc. Will someone please give this woman a full on loom to go cray with!!!!

Park: I can see it so clearly . I can see her lil handpainted warhammer and other tabletop game figures so perfectly in my head. She paints more than she actually plays(but she does !). God save you if you touch or tumble them.

Adams: I kinda DGAF about her sorry women… hmm there’s sumn compelling ab her doing blackout poetry plus occasionally full-on written when the inspo hits! started as a boredom thing in her job in the prison w whatever book she brought in then she kept on doing it w more and more written pieces she comes across.

I put so much time into this. Perhaps too much.😭feel free to gimme y’all’s thoughts on this/ur own ideas :3

[redbullcateringfiction]

Chapter 2 -

Cantata

Arabella is the executive assistant for Mercedes Team Principal Toto Wolff. 10 years into her career, it looks like the tide is changing, and she's beginning to question her relationship with him. Is it something more, or nothing but an idea lingering in her head?

F/M, Fluff, Boss/Employee Relationship, Romance, Pining, Love, Slow Burn

Second chapter below the cut or click here for AO3

Click here for the previous chapter on Tumblr, and click here for a list of all chapters

(Total: 7270 words thus far)

“How long have you been with Mercedes?” Mr. Wolff asked me.

“2 years at this point,” I nodded.

“And prior to that?”

“I was a personal assistant for an acting agent at United Agents,” I answered. “Prior to that, I received a Level 5 executive assistant diploma and project management diploma at Souters in the Netherlands.”

“What languages are you fluent in?”

“German, Dutch, Arabic, English, and French,” I explained.

“Arabic…that’s helpful,” he nodded.

“Yes. There was a continuous call for an executive assistant in the marketing department who spoke Arabic when I first applied here. I thought I’d be a good fit.”

“You only have 5 years’ experience at this point, and only 2 in Formula 1. Would you be prepared to take on the level of responsibility that this comes with?”

“With all due respect, Mr. Wolff, I’ve made it through 5 rounds of interviews and 4 exams. I have yet to fail a single one. This might just be what I was made for.”

Mr. Wolff looked up from his note pad and smirked. He seemed to think for just a moment, and then looked me in my eyes. “I agree. Can you start next week?”

~

“There’s a 90-day trial period when you first begin. If we decide to proceed, you’ll sign a formal employment contract for this role. If we don’t, returning to your role in Marketing will still be an option. If this role re-opens, you can re-apply in a year. Do you understand?” The HR manager asked me.

“Yes,” I nodded.

“Do you mind if I say something…off the record so to speak?” He asked.

“No, no problem. Go ahead,” I nodded.

“This will be very hard. And you’re quite young. What, 25? You’ve been here for 2 seasons. We’ve only really been this team, like this at least, for 3 seasons. This will only continue to get harder. With Haug gone, we’ve got this new guy. You’re not just his assistant, you’re going to act like his curator with everyone else. You’re going to be the one really driving this connection. Afterall, you’re the one who plans every step of the day. If you leave during those 90 days, you get to take home 50% of your salary to keep you from going to another team. If you leave after 6 months, you get to take home 100% of the salary for a whole year. I’m just saying, you won’t struggle if you get tired of this.”

I thought for a moment. Was he telling me to leave or was he telling me I could? Was this a warning or a recommendation?

“Thanks,” I answered. I picked up my new badge off the desk. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

~

“It’s the end of the 90 days, Ms. Lazaar,” Mr. Wolff said, sitting me down at his desk. “Let’s have a talk.”

I could feel my forehead dripping beads of sweat. I hadn’t been perfect. Not at all. But I’d been pretty darn close. I have no clue what the threshold is for failure. That’s not something I was entirely used to. Executive assistants frequently find themselves doing this for years. If this didn’t work out, I don’t know if I would want to go back to marketing. I had spent the past 3 months in different countries, watching races from the pit practically. I experienced Formula 1 at a level I never imagined. Going back to sitting at a desk answering phone calls wouldn’t cut it anymore. This felt like it. And there’s only so many teams. There are only so many jobs just like this with my skillset. If this didn’t work out…well…I’d probably be at a bank by next year.

“How do you think you’ve done?” He asked. I hated questions like these. What was the point? You already know how I’ve done.

“I think I’ve done well. I haven’t been perfect. The first two weeks were hard, but after that settling in was easy,” I explained, with a small white lie about the ease. Nothing about this was easy.

“Easy?”

“I may have been bluffing,” I quickly gave up. He chuckled in response. Suddenly the air felt much lighter. My nerves suddenly subsided. I blotted my forehead with a tissue.

“Do you feel close to burning out at all?”

Yes. “No.”

“Was that a bluff?”

Okay, maybe I had been a bit emphatic with that no. And perhaps a bit dramatic with my thinking. “A little. This isn’t easy. This is hard. This is tiring. But I like it. I think I might even love it. I enjoy it. Sacrificing a few hours of sleep makes this worth it,” I answered.

“Well, I can tell you enjoy it. I think you’ve done a great job. I’m excited to see what you do with the rest of your tenure here at Mercedes,” He smiled, passing me an official hiring contract. I signed it with no second thoughts.

~

I looked down at my Tinder profile. In several of the pictures, I had put forth an effort to show off my long and dark curly hair. My favorite picture, was of course, first. It helped to showcase the kind of lifestyle you lead to ensure you only get matches you actually like. That picture was of me, on a yacht in Monaco with Lewis Hamilton and Valtteri Bottas. What else screams “are you good enough for me?” quite like that? I need a new one though. This was getting a bit old.

“Ten years, yes?” Toto suddenly asked.

“Huh?” I lilted, looking up from my phone.

“Ten years at Mercedes for you. Coming up, isn’t it?”

“Is it? Has it been 10 years? Oh…well yes. I guess it has. I think in April.”

“April 18 th , to be exact,” He nodded.

“Cool,” I sighed, going back to my phone. I felt a hand come over and my phone had suddenly disappeared out of my view. I turned and Toto had it in his hand. This was the stuff of nightmares. There is no way in hell my boss can know I’m on Tinder. My heart jumped out of my chest as I suddenly went to reach over for it, I saw the screen had darkened. He at least had done me the favor of pressing the power button.

“Give it back,” I groaned.

“You’re so glued to your phone,” He mockingly groaned back.

“It’s literally my job to be.”

“Ah, then what are you so busy with at this moment that you can’t tell me what you’d like for your 10 th anniversary at the company?”

“None of your business,” I frowned.

“Then answer what it is that you’d like.”

“I don’t know, a pen or something? Can I have my phone back now?”

“A pen? A fucking pen? For a decade at a company, you want a pen? ”

“Yes. I’d love a pen. Now give me back my phone.”

He disappointingly handed over my phone. I continued swiping away until I noticed him take out his own phone. I looked up and scoffed, and he chuckled knowing exactly why. I looked back down and saw a profile that stood out. A super like.

Jeffrey, 40

I’m the nice guy your mom told you to settle down with, but with slightly less hair and more traveling.

Yeah, I’ve read worse. I swiped right and messaged him. As I patiently waited for a response, I looked back at Toto. I watched as he looked through the padfolio, seemingly memorizing every word on the page. I had, for a long time, deliberately put my head in the sand when it came to him. This morning though had seemed to shock me, and suddenly I found myself lingering on him. His hands turning the pages, his glasses slipping off his nose, and the way his dark eyes traced the pages I had written. In many ways, he is incredibly-Ah, my phone vibrated.

Jeffrey: Hey! Nice to meet you, Arabella. You’re a secretary?

I sighed and typed out my reply. Not a secretary. An executive assistant. “Fucking men,” I mumbled. Toto looked over with an eyebrow raised. I awkwardly smiled and went back to my phone.

Jeffrey: Oh, sorry! So, you know Hamilton?

If I were the type to cackle evilly, I would at this moment.

Me: I work with him.

Now, to let that fester a little bit. I looked down into my bag and pulled out my schedule and began making the necessary calls for tonight. It’s important to verify everything. First, the hotel, immediately followed by the driving company. I had nearly forgotten and phoned down UBS to ensure that the investors have their meeting scheduled for the correct time. I placed the necessary checkmarks in my schedule that represented ‘Yes, I’ve called them. Now it’s their fault if anything has gone wrong.’

And of course, to top it off, Bombardier. “Yes, we have the jet chartered for tomorrow morning at 8am,” Our private contact, Leanna, answered.

“Oh, perfect. And could you make sure that breakfast is ready for everyone?”

“Yes, absolutely. The usual for everyone?” She asked.

“Yes, and make sure Mr. Wolff’s pumpernickel snaps like a cookie. I think I recall it being a little too lightly toasted last time. Oh, and next week, we have that flight scheduled, too? Right?”

“Yes. I’ll send you an email too to verify all the rest of the flights for the year. But for you, Arabella! I don’t have your breakfast here.”

“Oh, I’m going to cook for myself in the morning. I’m a sucker for an English breakfast.”

“You sure?” She insisted.

“Really, Leanna. They are my bread and butter. Literally.”

She gave me a nice pity chuckle. “Okay, well, Francis will meet you at Heathrow.”

“Thank you, Leanna. Speak with you next week.”

“Obviously!” She laughed, hanging up the phone. I placed my checkmark next to the flight. I looked over at my phone and saw the new response.

Jeffrey: Oh, you work at Brackley?

You could say that.

Me: Yes.

Jeffrey: Well, I’d love to meet with you tonight and talk more about ourselves. What time are you free?

I gave it a little thought. It’s so easy to plan for everyone else.

Me: Does 9pm work for you?

Jeffrey: Perfect, how about Angler?

I’m impressed. And its close! Oh, God. Does he work for UBS? Am I over thinking this? I’m overthinking this. Why would 9pm be okay if he worked for UBS? He would certainly be at this event.

Me: Perfect-er.

Jeffrey: See you then.

I took my last glance at my phone before looking up at the driver’s GPS. 45 minutes left to go. I checked my email and did the slightest bit more work but otherwise enjoyed the little break I was getting. Every so often, I would peek my head up at Toto and watched him do little of much alike me. It doesn’t take long to read the documents I prepare, by design. I watched briefly for a moment as he Facetimed his children and watched his face beam with pride and joy. I tried not to watch for long, pretending instead that I wasn’t listening. Slowly, but surely, 45 minutes turned to 30, and then to 5. Then all of a sudden we were on the move. I grabbed the suitcases out of the trunk as Toto managed the other bags. We headed in through the large omniscient glass doors after crossing the courtyard, and I phoned down to the UBS executive assistant.

“Hello, this is Marie.”

“Hi, Marie. It’s Arabella and Mr. Wolff. We’re in the lobby,” I spoke quietly.

“Excellent, I’ll come down and meet you. Mr. Fischer will be about 5 minutes late for the meeting, but Mr. Wolff is welcome to start.”

“I’ll let him know. Thank you, Marie,” I said, right before hanging up.

“Okay, Toto. Bobby Fischer is going to be about 5 minutes late, but you’re welcome to start. Please actually do start. Don’t linger,” I explained.

“Will do, Arabella,” He sighed. He handed me my crossbody and I slinged it over my shoulder. “Ah there she is.”

I looked across the lobby and saw Marie walking towards us. The world of executive assistants is small, and we’ve truly all begun to know each other. Not all of the driver’s have assistants but Marie was Lewis Hamilton’s ex-assistant. Leaving your boss in this line of work is truly a bit like a break up, and this must feel like running into your ex’s parents a bit. I still get uncomfortable walking past the Marketing department. However, Marie was just like most of us current or ex F1 assistants. She was a hard ass. Much more controlling than you’d expect out of your typical assistant, and if I’m considered demanding, Marie is 10-fold. I don’t know if that management style worked for Lewis, but it's what a field like banking demands at times, so I imagine the crossover wasn’t as odd as it must seem. 

“Wonderful to see you again, Arabella. And you too, Toto. Arabella, meet us on the 38th floor at approximately 1:30. I can have coffee made for you at arrival. Black coffee right?” It sounded less like a question and more like a statement.

“Absolutely. See you then,” I nodded. She ceremoniously walked towards the elevator with Toto, almost like a passing of the torch. I headed outside and brought up the directions to the hotel. Just around the corner really, but I can be a bit silly and somehow get all turned around. Truly why F1 driving was never for me.

I wandered into the hotel and saw the clear signs for the Angler restaurant. I knew it was close to the hotel, but it hadn’t processed it was in the hotel. I walked up to the check in counter while sending off the quickest message to my Tinder date. Have you made reservations? 

“Hello, yes, I need to check in for Torger Wolff,” I explained.

“Ahh, for the Mercedes F1 team staying here tonight?” She asked. 

“Yep,” I nodded.

“Can I see some ID?” 

I handed over my ID and my phone quickly buzzed. 

Jeffrey: Yes! Wouldn’t dare not to.

Oh, perfect. Great. Couldn’t get any better. 

Me: Oh! Perfect! Great, couldn’t get any better! See you there.

I looked back up at her while she studied my ID. 

“Are you with the Mercedes F1 team?” She asked.

“Yes.”

“What is it that you do?” She asked, almost snidely. 

“I’m an assistant.”

“To whom?”

“Who do you think? Lewis Hamilton? Or the guy who’s bags I’m trying to drop off?” I smiled.

“Well, I don’t see you have a room booked here. How am I to know if you’re not just a groupie or something?”

“A groupie? In a suit?” I questioned, before shaking my head. I was trying to shake off what I really wanted to say in this instance. “Check the notes. It’s very clear that I’m authorized to enter his room and to check in.”

“I see no notes,” She smiled. 

“Then call your supervisor,” I smiled back. I saw her roll her eyes as she picked up the phone. Soon enough, a young gentleman walked behind the counter. He had to be younger than me.

“Yes?” He asked.

“She is attempting to check in for the Mercedes F1 Team Principal. I see nothing on here about her checking him in,” She explained. Her manager took a glance at the computer screen, then over at me. He looked me up and down, before going back to the computer screen.

“Is this your ID?” He asked.

“Yes,” I groaned.

“Please, don’t catch an attitude. We’re simply trying to ensure the safety of our guests,” He smiled. An attitude? “I see you have no room booked tonight under the block of rooms for Mercedes-Petronas. Am I to believe that you simply are here to enter his room and then leave?”

“Yes, you absolutely are. Especially considering I have shown you my ID,” I explained.

“Then why aren’t you staying here if you’re with the team?”

“I live in London. In Chelsea?” I nodded.

“That’s a long way from here,” He sighed.

“Is it? It’s like half an hour,” I insisted. “No, nevermind that. I am here to check in for Toto-Torger Wolff. I am his executive assistant. I have a badge for Brackley that I will happily show you. I have no intention of staying at your hotel today because I would like to sleep in my own bed before heading to a whole other country for testing. I would like to simply drop off his bags in his room and ensure everything is up to snuff because that is my job . Nothing else, nothing more.”

“How about you just give us the bags and we’ll drop them off in his room?” He tried to appeal to my growing frustration.

“How about I take the bags up so I can do the other half of my job?” 

He simply shook his head. I handed him my Brackley ID and he looked it over.

“Could these be faked?” He another hotel staff member who came over due to the commotion

“Fur sure they cud’ be,” he answered in a thick scottish accent. “My mukker’s git one for McLaren.”

“We won’t accept this,” He smiled at me again. The smiles were beginning to look faker and faker by the moment. This is the primary issue I find myself in being a Black woman working for what are essentially, sports celebrities. At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if they turned around and asked Lewis to leave. 

“Here,” I gave up. I took out a business card for Bono. “Has he checked in yet? Give him a call and let him verify me.”

They took the card and dialed the number. They hung up after a few moments.

“He didn’t pick up,” They shrugged. 

“Fine, do me the favor of at least taking the bags then? Up to the room?” I babbled. Words seemed to be lost on me at this moment.

“I think we’ll actually not. We can’t be sure what the content of those bags are,” the manager nodded.

Please. For fuck’s sake. “I’ll see you back at 2:00pm,” I tried to smile.

I took the bags back over to the UBS offices, and took the elevator up to the 38th floor and walked towards Marie’s desk. There she was sitting scrolling through her phone.

“Oh, Arabella,” she mumbled looking up. She looked at the clock, and then at her phone, and then up at my face. She stood up and looked down at my hands. “You’re early…and you still have the bags. Was the room not ready?”

“They refused to let me in,” I sighed. 

“Again?” She questioned. I raised an eyebrow up at her. She was a pale skin tone, and had medium brunette hair that brushed her shoulders. 

“I’m black, Marie. Yes, again,” I stated as I sat on the chairs by the office entrance.

She frowned. “Let me go get your coffee, love.” It was truly the lightest voice, and kindest voice, Marie had ever offered me. She usually gives me no type of affection, even though were in the same career. I think it’s a bit cutthroat and she got used to turning everyone away. I wasn’t used to this type of response from her. She soon returned and handed me the cup of coffee, sitting down next to me.

“Well, I’m sorry about that. I know, beyond all else, I can’t understand this type of situation as deeply and as well as you. Nonetheless, I know you’re good at your job, and that this simply isn’t fair for someone of your caliber.”

I stared into the cup of coffee for a moment, really letting her response process. I looked up at her and her flat expression. A signal of care for her. 

“Thanks, Marie,” I offered a slight smile as I sipped my coffee.

“No need to fake a smile. I would call, but they’d probably pretend they don’t know who I am either,” She acknowledged. 

“Don’t worry. His bags have to get in somehow.”

“So, what have you been up to you? Outside of this?”

“Nothing really. This is all I’ve been up to.”

“Listen, I don’t miss that life at all,” She mumbled. “There’s nothing quite like getting to work at 9 in the morning, and leaving at 5 in the evening. This is consistency. There’s no jetting across the world. I mean, I can actually have a relationship. I’m getting married, for Christ’s sake. That’s not possible in F1.”

“I want none of those things.”

“Is that why your phone just went off with a Tinder notification?” She chuckled. I looked down and Jeffrey had sent a message. I think I just passed you in Broadgate Circle! You must be there for the Mercedes event tonight at UBS, right?

I quickly responded. Yes, actually! Sorry, I didn’t notice you.

“That’s for hookups,” Not for boyfriends.

“Ah, nothing more, huh?” She answered.

“No.”

Jeffrey: Oh! Did you want to push our dinner to another day? Or did you want to meet at the event? I’m a lawyer for UBS so I didn’t see much of the point of going, but I’d be happy to.

Fuck. 

Me: No, no! I’m completely fine with meeting at 9. I’m leaving the event early.

Jeffrey: Okay, great! Sorry if there was any confusion. See you at Angler.

I wasn’t overthinking! Isn’t this the best? Your anxiety being right always prevents it from going too far the next time. Obviously. Totally. For sure.

“I’ll leave you to your work now,” Marie smirked, standing up. “But I highly recommend leaving F1. What’s the plan? To be 60 and still galavanting around?”

“Presuming Toto Wolff still is, yes,” I grinned falsely. She rolled her eyes and walked behind her desk. I looked over my notes for the hotel. Everyone knew I was supposed to be checking in, and yet, nothing changed. These kinds of things seem to somehow never change. But, my checkmark reassured me. You did everything right. Now it’s their fault if anything goes wrong. That’s what it means, and it's a serious thing. 

Soon enough, Toto left the meeting.

“Have a good afternoon, everyone! See you tonight,” He smiled, shutting the door. He looked over and saw me with the bags, and gently pinched the bridge of his nose. “Again, Arabella?”

“Again.”

“Once every few years, huh,” He said, grabbing the bags and immediately walking towards the elevator. I jumped up and followed him. As the years had gone on, Toto had gradually become more keenly aware of two things: He is a celebrity, and I am Black. As a result of his growing celebritas, and my very unchanging Blackness, these types of occurrences had become more frequent. 

“So what was the reason now?” He asked. 

“I look like a groupie,” I shrugged.

“A groupie? In a suit?” 

“That’s what I said.”

Toto rolled his eyes and moved his glasses to his shirt collar.

“How was the meeting?” I offered.

“The usual. Numbers this, offers that. Etcetera, etcetera,” He waved his hand almost at the suggestion we could have a normal conversation at this moment. I took that as my sign to quiet down, and just follow him. So I did. The second we arrived to the hotel I watched as the original front desk employee scurried to the back, and the supervisor made a return. He smiled far too brightly for this moment.

“Arabella, introduce yourself,” Toto gestured to the supervisor as we walked up.

“No introduction necessary. The employee who just ran to the back introduced originally,” I smiled, even more brightly than the supervisor. I watched as his look turned a bit sour.

“Ah, well go grab her too. Was anyone else involved in this?” Toto asked me.

“A Scottish man but he didn’t really have much to say,” I shrugged.

“Oh, never mind who did and didn’t say anything. The point remains. Go grab the other two individuals she’s referring to,” He ordered the supervisor. We watched as he scurried about the backroom and nearly dragged the two out by their necks. As they approached the desk, he hid behind them like a scared puppy.

“I saw that your name tag said front desk manager, you can’t hide behind these two,” Toto complained. The man stepped from around the two employees. “Go ahead, tell me what happened.”

“What happened with what? I’m sorry, can we check you in Mr. Wolff? I’m not sure what’s going on,” The young lady suddenly piped up.

“You seem awfully scared to not know. Let me have an explanation, please,” Toto nodded.

“Well-” She began to speak again but was quickly interrupted by her boss.

“We asked her to show ID, and the produced ID appeared to be fake. So we did not allow her into the room,” The manager stated, suddenly piping up.

“So, did she provide any other identification?” Toto asked. 

“No,” The manager replied.

“Arabella, don’t you usually have a lanyard with your Brackley ID on it?” Toto asked, turning to me.

“Oh, yeah, they have it. I never grabbed it back. Nor my ID for that matter, which they didn’t mention being potentially fraudulent when I came up here,” I sighed. 

Toto put his hand out, and they handed over my identification. A Danish passport and the Brackley ID.

“And Bono’s card,” I gestured. The manager reached into the trash and took out Peter Bonnington’s business card, and handed it to me.

“So, did you call Bono?” Toto asked them.

“We did yes, but he didn’t pick up,” The manager replied.

“Oh okay, let me verify right quick,” Toto nodded, taking out his own phone and dialing Bono. “Bono, hello, you’re on speaker phone. Did you get a call from the hotel earlier?”

“No…was I supposed to?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Toto said immediately before hanging up. He just simply stared at them for a moment.

“Here’s your room key, Mr. Wolff,” The front desk woman said, handing the key to Toto.

“One for me, too,” I smiled. She produced another and handed it to me, with huge screaming eyes that said ‘save me.’ No, I don’t think I will.

“And at this moment, right now, place a note on the account saying Arabella Lazaar is my assistant and any needs she may have related to my reservation should be addressed,” Toto ordered them.

“Actually, could you tell me who made the block for the rooms?” I asked.

“That would be uh…” The manager said, scrambling around the computer. “Um…you Ms. Lazaar.”

“Is this incompetency or is this bigotry? I’m not sure which, but whichever, I recommend the three of you have new jobs lined up in the morning. And when they ask ‘Oh how did you get fired?’ Don’t put anyone from my team’s name in your mouth, including my own,” Toto grumbled. They nodded, and he turned on his heel and walked towards the elevator.

“Oh, Mr. Wolff!” The front desk lady nearly screamed at the top of her lungs. “We’ve upgraded your room to the presidential suite.”

He threw his hand up dismissively as we got into the elevator, as if to say both ‘thank you’ and ‘just stop.’ As we got in he turned to me and took a deep breath. 

“They were quite the group of idiots weren’t they? I’ll call the company behind this place and get it sorted out.”

“I appreciate that.”

“Nothing to appreciate really, these things shouldn’t go this way. You provided everything they needed, and yet they decided to still treat you wrong. That’s on them, and they should’ve known there would be consequences for their actions,” He explained. “We have our own security. It helps when the front desk at hotels also pays attention to possible situations, but at the end of the day, they’re not supposed to go beyond their liability. They took it much too far, and who’s to know if you were the first, or if they’d be worse next time?”

“I understand that, but,” I hesitated. “They still need their jobs, and I don’t want my boss turning around and using his fame to protect me.”

Toto looked up at me, and smiled. “Arabella, we have responsibilities to one another. You handle nearly every moment of my life. In turn, yes, I pay you, but I also make sure that while under my employment, you’re well treated. That would be the same if this were Formula 1 or if it were just another company.”

I thought for a moment, and while I knew he was right, I don’t know how comfortable I felt having anyone take responsibility for me. But…I suppose…everyone needs things addressed that they can’t handle themselves. There isn’t really anyone else for me to rely on. That’s kind of frightening. Suddenly, Marie’s words hit me like a ton of bricks. I almost thought I would get dizzy. I’m 35 now. I love my life, but am I wasting it? Should I be settling down? 

I looked over at Toto who seemed to be patiently awaiting my response. 

“Yes. You’re right,” I stated, a little too shakily. 

“Are you nervous?” He asked as we exited the elevator. 

“No, just stressed, really.”

“You have vacation days. You should take one,” Toto shrugged, pressing the key to the door and swinging it open. 

“I only use them during the holiday break. We’re far from that.”

“If you think of the week between testing and the first race as a holiday, then it’s right around the corner,” He winked, as he opened the door for me.

“Absolutely not,” I chuckled, setting his suitcase on the bed. I took a quick look around the room and then texted security to let them know Toto was inside the hotel room. 

“Looks good, Toto. I’ll head out,” I said with a quick head nod. 

“There’s a whole separate room attached here. If you want to change here, you’re welcome to,” He spoke without looking up from his phone. 

I could feel my cheeks get hot, so without thinking I just ran out of the room, trying to pretend I didn’t hear him. I immediately pressed my hand to my forehead. That was stupid. It was a relatively normal offer. There was nothing weird about that and yet I reacted like he asked me to jump off of the London eye. Shit. I made it weird didn’t I? Or did he make it weird? Was it weird at all? No, no it wasn’t. God, Arabella. Stop overthinking for once. I headed for the elevator and went down. As I was leaving, I couldn’t resist making a little bit of eye contact with reception. 

Ha.

Tags: @daddyslittlevillain

[fluffyspuffy]

I’m obligated by law to post about this since it’s (I believe) only the 4th fic to actually make me cry real tears. That honor goes to the second story in the series (and very nearly the third). The first story isn’t super spuffy, but is obligatory reading due to how amazing the relationship between Spike and Dawn is in it.

The prose seemed a little off to me for quite a bit, but that’s probably just my ADHD talking since I did start to get used to it and then I didn’t even notice it eventually. The story was fantastic and made me stick it out despite having to reread paragraphs when I got lost. I think that’s what made it all the more shocking when I just suddenly started crying during an earlier chapter in ‘Blood Kin’. I didn’t see it coming and it hit me hard.

If you like the potentials (and OC potentials!) and if you like Dawn and some wacky vampire shit - this is the fic for you. It’s got some excellent hurt/comfort which is my food of choice. So much hurt/comfort throughout and I just adore it. The Spike characterization was my favorite- some side characters felt OOC on occasion, but was still immensely enjoyable.

It’s also epic! I love epic long fics. Right when I thought I’d read all the big Spuffy ones, here comes this series. Kept me well fed for days. Wild how I’ve been in this fandom for so long and always seem to miss the huge things.

I’d stop at the 4th story, unless you’re a greedy little masochist (like me!) and just need to read all there is no matter how much it will break your heart. This last story would have also been amazing, I can tell. Unfortunately, as the author is no longer with us, there isn’t even a tiny hope that more will come. I’m so glad that she got to leave us with this beautiful story

tl/dr: Read this! It’ll make you feel things. If you like safe and completed fics, stop at part 4.

Here’s a very brief summary of each part:

1: Spike and Dawn friendship rebuilding

2: fun with SITs (slayers in training) and a better season 7

3: vampire politics and relationship drama

4: more vampire politics and spike trying (failing) to hold it together. Fun t-shirt slogans. Stop here if you want an ending.

5: astral projection and heartbreak. ‘This is all there is, there isn't anymore.’ Incomplete, does not end in a good place.

[mappingthemoon]

For the past several years (can’t remember if this attitude predates the pandemic), I’ve been kinda “meh”/side-eye re: New Year’s Resolutions. I am a very goal-oriented person and feel existentially unmoored when I don’t have something that I’m working toward, be it a class, a trip, a concert, a zine or other artsy project. But I also tend to have very unrealistic expectations, namely of how much time it will actually take me to complete tasks and how much energy I will still possess after I get home from work every day. So I don’t want to put all this abstract pressure on myself for the new year and then get burned by my, idk, ENORMOUSLY OVERWHELMING CAPACITY FOR HOPES AND DREAMS (or inability to accept reality or whatever, I guess, depending on your viewpoint lol).

Last year, I got a faculty librarian job and I was able to finally quit doing part-time transcription work, a (second) job I’d held for over 11 years. I thought the sudden influx of “free time” would result in a flood of creative projects in 2023, but I didn’t get nearly as much done (or started) as I’d hoped. My new job duties brought increased stress – I supervise someone now and received zero training for this so I’m having to figure out all this soft skills work relationship stuff on my own, I’m one of only two special collections catalogers in a large academic institution and ofc our backlog is a million miles long, I have to deal with so many more dang emails and meetings as a faculty person than I did as a staff, our institution is grossly underfunded and understaffed and people keep leaving bc our wages are comparatively Bad; many of my colleagues and I are burnt out af. SO ANYWAY due to all that, instead of blossoming into a creative powerhouse now that I have only one day-job, I instead found myself sinking into the couch after work, watching youtube on the big tv screen and transforming into a sad amorphous blob.

BUT! One reason I am risking feeling slightly more hopeful about 2024 is that this year, I am scheduled to have two out of four credit card loans paid off! (I had five but already paid one off this year too :D) This will put like… nearly $400 back into my pocket each month. I hate complaining about my money situation bc I do make what would be a decent living wage for my ~lifestyle~ (2 very frugal working adults, no kids in the home), but nearly 25% of my income goes to debt (not including mortgage lol). (The reason I am carrying so much debt is because I didn’t make anything even remotely close to a living wage for the entirety of my working life until I got the librarian job last year and I had to use credit cards for things like groceries and travelling home for funerals and then I’d transfer the credit card balance onto a loan and then I’d be like “okay, as long as we have no more emergencies for 18 months, we’ll be good,” and then there’d be another emergency and I’d have to borrow more money again 🇺🇸) So the TL;DR is I strongly suspect that when I have a bit more of a financial cushion and don’t have to deprive myself of most material pleasures (such as the occasional deli sandwich or vinyl record! I have simple desires!) and white-knuckle it through the last week of every month, I might be a bit less exhausted and stressed out on a daily basis?

So based on that completely speculative hope, here are my goals/resolutions for 2024:

Start a monthly one-pager photozine (my intention is for this to be a simple project to keep me active in the zine community and more ~intentional~ with my photography). Finish writing Moonshot #3 (Summer 2024) and #4 (Fall 2024). Start outlining (at least) Phases of the Moon #7. Maybe: Think abt starting a new art/literary comp zine. [I used to do tons of comp zines when I was younger and I’ve been revisiting them in my zine digitization/archiving project and feeling inspired!! Love bringing a variety of people together to collectively work on an amazing goal! ♈]

Do something analog with photography – maybe cyanotypes? [I’m despondent that I’ve been dragging an enlarger around for over 10 years but still haven’t built a home darkroom. This can still happen someday, but in the meantime, I know there are other analog photographic processes I can do without a full darkroom!] I also want to get back into photographing concerts. [I was a little disappointed that my Quintron pics {still forthcoming sry} didn’t turn out fantastic but it was my own damn fault for falling out of practice with my DSLR, and also forgetting to turn on autofocus lmao.] AND, I think it would be fairly easy to turn my bedroom into a camera obscura, which would be TOTALLY AWESOME and SWEET.

Redesign my website/portfolio: selenographer.info. Try to actually post some newsletters once in a while?

Finish at least one cross-stitch!

Leave the house more often for social activities?????

Better daily health routine [I already do this stuff, but I’m not always consistent]: Meditate & do yoga, preferably in the morning. Teeth care at least twice a day [sry if it’s TMI gross but brushing before bed was never part of my childhood and it has been a constant struggle to solidify this habit as an adult, ugh] and actually use the dang waterpik & electric toothbrush that I bought. Wear the sleep apnea device every night. [This thing works. But I fucking hate wearing it and I skip nights which makes me feel like a big dummy since I borrowed an additional $3000 to treat this problem.] STOP TAKING GOODY’S POWDER. [This should follow if I am consistent in wearing the apnea device bc I won’t get morning headaches if I am not waking up in a state of oxygen deprivation!]

Buy a new bed! [We got one of those cheapo internet mattresses in 2018 and man is it killing me. If I ever won the lottery the first thing I would do is completely redesign the bedroom into the ideal sleep environment.] Also need to buy 1 or 2 new bookcases bc I now have 3 storage bins full of unshelved books and it makes me anxious.

Work-related goals: Reclaim as much time as possible from the workweek. Try to have at least a half-day of work-from-home time per week. Actually use the professional development time I am privileged to have as faculty! Try to detach from the stressful sense of urgency other people (inexplicably) bring to the table and don’t let that shit get to you. Figure out a better way to handle emails? [My current modes are either complete avoidance so I can hyperfocus on a task, or checking my email every 30-60 mins and spiralling into the distraction zone for hours.] Hopefully take another class at Rare Book School. Help with more outreach events (aka teaching people about ZINES! :D)

GOOD LUCK EVERYBODY <3

[noname-nonartist]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! get to know your mutuals and followers ♡

Ooooo!!! Hi CC!!! ^w^/

Thank you so much for the asks!!!

Hmm okay! So 5 things that makes me genuinely happy…. Okay! Let’s go!!!

1. Project Sekai!

Atm, it’s my current hyperfixations! An Shiraishi and Mizuki Akiyama has my heart and soullll!!!

2. Drawing!

Whenever I have the energy (and if I ended up liking the drawing enough to post it lol), I do enjoy drawing a lot! It’s like. One of the only hobby I have since childhood tbh lol~

3. My Past Hyperfixations!

This would include Marigolds by Colbub, Persona 5, Baldur’s Gate 3, Jujutsu Kaisen, Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, Genshin Impact, Ace Attorney, One Piece, and Fire Emblem Awakening!

Of course there are a bunch of other things I got super hyperfixated about (heck, technically I always go back to Pokemon and Digimon since it was like my childhood), but these are the ones I remember being hyperfixated for monthsssss and so much so I would spend hours on ao3 reading fanfics of it!

(The expectation being marigolds since that’s technically an ao3 fic, A REALLY GOOD ONE, but I am in the discord server for that fic. :3c)

4. Cute Plushies (And I guess Merch of my Hyperfixations too lol)

Luckily I don’t really go on a spending spree… that often! (sometimes the AHDH impulse wins, don’t worry, my max is $150, and even then I don’t reach that limit, and I only do it at least every few months) O3O;

But I do occasionally enjoy getting a cute plushie at an arcade, in fact my bed has a good amount of them (mostly from my siblings winning them for me or giving it to me lol).

And now that I’m an adult (Oh god… I’m an adult), I do have a few Merch that I’ve bought! (A few of them were also gifts from friends and family)

The merch being about Jjk, Persona 5, Genshin Impact, Digimon, and Pokemon!

Watch me. I’ll soon get some for Project Sekai too!!! I just keep spending my Project Sekai indulgence savings on the costumes within the game lol. I’m responsible I swear!

5. Friends and Family!!!

I’ve been pretty lucky to have pretty good siblings. Of course, we didn’t always gotten along while growing up and we’re still not perfect, but I do really love them and really appreciate every thing they have done for me. :’3

And I really appreciate my friends too! Both online and in person too!!!

In person due to me being friends with them for so long, (and a few more recent ones too!) who I’ve always enjoyed being around with and makes my day better! ^w^/

And my online friends! While it’s some times hard for me to always DM them/interact with them due to real life stuff (sometimes I be reallly tired from work rippp X-X;), I always cherish our interactions and always wish you all the best days since you all deserve it!!!

Okay! That’s all now it’s time to tag! But since I’m super shy, I don’t wanna tag peeps who had reblogged my stuff. >x<;

So instead, I’ll just tag my online friends who had reblogged my posts in the past! That counts right? :Dc

Again, no pressure!!! ^w^/

@melodiclune (lol yep, ya count too~), @hxhhasmysoul, @himi-wiz, @tinyballerinadancer1, @sabrondabrainrot, @wrathofnature, @majycka, @olasketches, @thedemonreblogs, @blizzardream, @chocodajib

[precious-little-scoundrel]

What got you into writing/how long have you been writing?

What’s your writing inspiration?

Do you write in silence or need background sounds? Like music?

Do you struggle more with dialogue or detail?

Any tips for someone who wants to write fanfiction?

How do you differ all your OC’s so you don’t rewrite the same characters over and over?

Do you do research?

— from someone who would love to write their own stories lol but yours are great!

My darling. So many apologies for how tardy I’ve been in replying to this, I really wanted to give it due thought because I’m quite touched you’d even ask.

1: I’ve been writing since I was little, my mama was always reading me classics and my greatest ambition was to be some kind of author every bit as colorful as their characters, a la Oscar Wilde. 🥳

2. Writing inspiration? Oh that’s a hard one only in that I could cite a million things and chat your poor ear off, but to be boring and also frank -I just love stories. I think they’re so inspiring and healing and necessary for making sense of things, or else resigning to things that can’t be explained. I love to study love and how very human and fallible and also indestructible it is in its many forms. I love to dig through tragedy and find the refining purpose of it, I love to take characters through hells I’ve been through so that I can imagine their triumphs, too, and my own through them. If this can happen to -name your hero- then I’m no smaller for it happening to me, if -name your hero- can get through it and be loved and admired by a whole fandom? -I deserve the same commendation from myself at the very least. Stories are essential and fun and I never ever imagined I’d have a little group one day liking my own where we could all scream about these things together. I’m legit so humbled each time I log on here and find y’all ready and waiting and interactive. The community of it, that’s the biggest drive right now, tbh. What a sweet season.

3. I usually write in silence, or else at any chance where I have a moment, so that could be public transport or lunch breaks or in the loo during family holidays, ha. However I do find music to be an inspiring mood setter for writing later that day. Especially as i juggle many ongoing projects at once, the genre im listening to before may very well influence what gets worked on.

4. Detail!! Dialogue can be challenging but I hear it so clearly in my head most of the time that it’s not hard. Details can devastate me.

5. Ooof, I still feel like I’m a baby at it, this is only my second fandom to dare for. I’d say for sure write what you find inspiring instead of what appears to be wanted, i firmly believe that’s the only sure way to keep up any inspiration and the niche will draw its own crowd, one’s who will like it all the better for its specially crafted world. Also, for dialogue -replay and replay dialogue from the character before you write. Are they terse or do they ramble? Are they sarcastic or earnest? Do they have a word they repeat often? -I noticed the other day how Rosenthal uses “you know?” often in the show. Also, sometimes switch up sentence structure from character to character, it helps feel like hopping brains without a fully jarring POV change. All these are things I’m currently working at myself, but that’s the best I’ve got for advice.

6. Oh boy I’m still figuring this out myself. Three things come to mind as little helps I use- first off, read real biographies, it helps tremendously with crafting fully dimensional fictional people. Two -have a maturing arc for your OC during the story, separate from whatever adventure or romance that occurs, this will make it feel less like a inserted person into the broader story. Three, choose a personality type or something similar to both keep them separate from the next but also to ensure their virtues have corresponding vices.

7. I do research a lot. But I find that it’s a fine line for myself of when that drains all creativity or bravery. Im massively indebted to so many mutuals who generously share their own with me.

[blackraspberrywhiskey]

i’ve been working on a scu fic (but at least the ceiling’s very pretty/baltcvp) for like over a year now (the og vers of the first 4 chapters are on my og ao3 acc) and i got bored and made up lore in my bathroom taking a fat shit and then i wrote it down and im really proud of it tbh!!

lmk if this needs any warnings or anything it’ll be below the cut if anyone wants any context to points jus ask me i dont have access to the actual fic doc rn but i rember things

first. the mortal/god stuff.

the reason why their bodies are all at first mortal is the residual imbalance from grizz being dead. in this sort of “au” ig idk, when one god of a pantheon (i.e grizz) dies (which is VERY rare and usually only happens when one god takes out another, i.e bebo shooting him) there’s an imbalance in the world, so the divinity of the others begins to lessen until they’re mortal again. but, as they’re all reunited and grizz is somehow revived, which i’ll get to later, that divinity begins to return to them all

and on the topic of the reunion and grizz’s revival....

it’s a mystery until the end (even after they get charlie back) how they all are back at molympus. but since im god and i wrote this lore bit, i can say it now ^_^

some backstory:

after the boys beat the game, their divinity slowly left them until they were mortal to keep that aforementioned balance. the world became godless, but the people survived, praying to the gods of old (the boys) and believing they could still help (they cant). charlie....is a story for another paragraph, bizly became a recluse and chose to hide in the forests and nature almost to torture himself (grizz was the god of nature and bizly was the one who killed him so), and condi dedicated himself to finding out how to bring grizz back so the world could gain its gods again.

charlie was whisked away by schlart to be readied for the next story ^_^ simce he’s the main character after all :3 anyways hes not relevant

since the world began to crumble in on itself without its gods, thus starts 100 days. schlatt brings charlie in to carry out his final story, but the other two, who are still alive, don’t realize until he shows up again

bizly realized how different charlie was the second he saw him even from a distance, almost miraculously recognizing him, and decided to make a new persona so he wouldn’t have to act like he knew him. he’d been hurt enough by charlie and his distance and his disappearance that he didn’t want to have to try and jog his obviously lost or repressed memory. he left him in the end because he just couldn’t face him anymore. he hated how he looked at him with no recognition despite looking basically the same, maybe just with shaggier hair, sounding the same, just with a slight accent for the bit, being the same. so he left. he was so blinded by anger and frustration that he couldn’t even be fully aware of charlie’s differences and issues.

though he did come back and fight by charlie’s side, in the end. he still cared that much.

condi, on the other hand, almost didn’t recognize charlie by the time he found him. he’d been so beat up and coated in dirt and grime that he was almost unrecognizable. charlie always kept in tiptop shape, so if condi hadn’t recognized the slimes on him he probably would barely realize who he was. plus, his voice was so fucked up due to the haze in the air and still apparent years of disuse that he didn’t even sound himself. where bizly was angry, condi was concerned. condi was genuinely worried at first, but then his focus shifted back to his projects almost unnervingly quickly when he was asked of them.

though he did sacrifice his life to save charlie’s, in the end. he still cared that much.

grizz is dead as hell LMAOAOAOAOAO

after day 100, bizly was the only god of the pantheon alive. still using his florida man persona as basically a coping mechanism at this point, saddled with these two random mortals, one of whom disturbingly reminded him of grizz, he was frustrated. done. he wanted his life back. his friends back. his divinity back.

and one day he woke up back on molympus.

how, you ask? bizly’s frustration, his anger, his grief, it all bottled up in him alongside the last dregs of divinity left in their realm. basically, the world follows the stability of its gods, and since bizly was the last god left, when he broke, so did the world. when the world broke, it killed him in the process.

the death of the gods, with nobody left to be able to channel their divinity, ended the world.

but, like in minecraft, you can always make a new one.

bizly, in his state, accidentally created a new world and revived all four of the gods of old. which lines up, because he was always the healer. the god of life, being the last one to have it.

the god of life, being able to restore it.

now, to clarify charlie’s whole situation.

when he was revived, schlatt was alongside him because the two are deeply intertwined for some insane reason that involves that first encounter. he became the main character of the story schlatt wanted to weave by being the last one left standing. he was the largest subject of the torture put upon everyone. he caused the problems that led to his friends, eventually fellow gods, to hate him, deep down. everyone else were just plot devices for him.

so when he was revived, so was schlatt. and schlatt missed his story. so he decided he’d loop it as many times as it takes charlie to get out with his memories being reset with each loop.

all he had to do was take his shot in the final moments of day 101.

anyways off the topic of charlie because although the fic is based around trying to get him back it focuses on the others more

everyone being revived brought them all to where bizly wanted them to be again: molympus. he’d missed the actual good times they’d had over the few thousand years they spent together, building their world bit by bit, code by code. it held shitty memories of practical verbal abuse, yeah, but it was also one of the safest places he’d ever had. he wanted it back. he wanted his friends.

and, in the end, he got them.

to summarize: everyone turned mortal, fucking died, and bizly revived his friends and fucking brainblasted a new world into existance because he was sad abt all of it. also charlie’s stuck in a time loop but that's not important

[boopiddyboop]

Random ATEEZ astrology: a newbie’s inconclusive study

With nothing but caffeine and 3 hours of sleep fueling me, I have finally written down my initial observations about Ateez’s charts- a pet project I started 4 days ago due to jet lag. Its almost drunk astrology, but with REM cycles ❤️

(I’ve seen this gif so many times in my research I love it so much)

-So everyone knows Seonghwa has an Aries stellium, right? But I haven’t seen anyone mentioning that all of those placements are combust (combusted? Being combust by?) his sun. His Mars, Saturn, and Mercury are all being hidden in some way. With it being in the 10th house… I’d say it’s his work that keeps him feeling like he can express himself properly. Really feels the pressure of keeping his idol image, probably.

-I don’t have a grasp of what personalities each of the members has, specifically in who is the scariest when they’re angry, but by chart? You could not pay me to fuck with Yunho. Scorpio rising AND Aries Sun being ruled… by Mars in Scorpio. I know Seonghwa is “Mars” (love a good wordplay), but Yunho…wow. Warrior boy. Don’t let that Pisces Mercury throw you off. (And with that Gemini Moon he kind of gives me similar vibes to Jimin from BTS).

-Speaking of Scorpios and Gemini Moons… hey Hongjoong. Capricorn rising this time though- everyone I’ve known with that placement has had … less than ideal relationships with their family (specifically fathers). I know he has a brother he seems close with (thank you, Jupiter in the Pisces 3rd house), but that Saturn in Aries in the 4th. If he’s on good terms with his dad these days, it’s definitely something they had to work hard for.

-Yeosang is so pretty. Like, he’s not even my type and yet. There’s no astrology observation to go with this point, it’s just an objective statement. Would love to hear guesses on his rising.

-San has a similar chart to several of my exes. So there’s that. Also love seeing the Scorpio Mars make a reappearance; what a manly group, at least image wise 😂

-Mingi with the Leo sun, Cancer Moon. It’s just ~much~. Offhand, I’d guess Gemini Rising for him, throwing that Jupiter/Saturn in Taurus into the 12th house. Poor baby.

-and with our last birthtime (though I think this one is provided by his brother, so slightly unconfirmed), we have Wooyoung. Fire 3rd house and Scorpio Mercury strike me as very ~fun~. His only mutable sign (Sun in Sagittarius) being ruled by Jupiter in Aries… boy is not a passive participant in things.

-A Saturn in Gemini makes me feel old, looking at Jongho’s chart. Of everyone, I know his personality the least, but there’s gotta be some kind of benefic going on with his Mercury/3rd house… he’s got a very pretty voice ❤️

If I’ve missed something, or you want me to elaborate on a point, feel free to harass me in the askbox ~ I’ve got the time and delirium right now 😊

[kakiastro]

2023 Astrology Vibes

Last day of 2022, I think I can speak for everyone when I say this year was something 🫣

But 2023 is going to be a different vibe and I’m going to tell you why

1. For the last 5.5 years Saturn has been in his home signs Capricorn &Aquarius! These were the probably some of the most challenging years and you had to do a lot of growth and break away from karmas. Also add Pluto Capricorn that’s been intensifying everything! Look at the years from 2017-Present. Check what houses Saturn, Capricorn and Aquarius were transiting those years using transit chart.

For ex. Saturn has transited in my 6&7h so I’ve learned a lot about relationships (platonic&romantic) and I’ve had some health stuff that made me want to change some diets.

2. Now Saturn is leaving his home signs into watery Pisces for 2.5 years. Pisces is ruled by Jupiter&Neptune. What happens when realism sign and non realism sign come together? It means it’s time to wake up and smell the roses 🌹 wherever you’ve had your rose colored glasses on, Saturn is about to snatch them off😭 if you have Saturn Pisces natally, then you are about to go through your Saturn return! check and see what house Pisces rules in your chart to see the themes you’re about to experience . Don’t worry you guys got this!

3. In numerology, 2023 is a water ruled year! The number 7 is ruled by Cancer. Cancer is ruled by the Moon.

4. In Chinese astrology, it’s ruled by the water rabbit! Rabbit means fertility and growth!

5. Pluto also takes a dip in new sign Aquarius for a few months before going back into Capricorn before stationing in Aquarius permanently in 2024 for 20 years. Aquarius is an air sign but is known as the water bearer

So what happened when you put all of these things together? Well here are my own 2023 predictions…

1. Spirituality will be on the rise, especially occult, I feel like people will dive into the unknown, I feel like people will be finding God on their own terms without influences from churches. More people may leave churches due to corruptions and I feel like karma is going to come to the toxic people who uses religion for their own gain

2. Something with fish, maybe a low fish supply since Saturn restricts. Also Pisces rules the deep ocean and Saturn represents time and ancient stuff, I wonder if we’ll find some ancient civilizations or species in the oceans?? When Pluto enters aqua, that may advance it since aqua rules technology and Pluto rules dark hidden places👀

3. Women will be the focus next year since it’s a cancer ruled year. I’ve seeing lots of babies and pregnancy signs so I think a lot of new souls will be born next year, these new babies will be advanced, I’m talking doing things at 2 when they shouldn’t be able to do until their 5 😅 honestly the whole Pluto cap and future aqua generation will be. Watch what I say😅 back to women though, sisterhood will become a big thing, women banding together to start a business or just to have a small support system.

4. The moon rules over our family, ancestors, home life, our private life, our emotional comfort. Themes surrounding these topics will be the focus. Now depending on your moon sign, this will tell you how your year can go, I would personally check your solar return chart and see what sign the moon is in for that year

For ex. In my solar return chart, the moon is in Leo 10h with moon ruler in the 9h for 2023, themes of children, traveling, having fun. My uncle &his gf is having a child in February!

5. Pisces also rules over addictions, with Saturn here I feel like more people will began to talk about there addiction struggles or become more aware. I know for one that I personally need to take a step back from social media & be more present, focusing more on my creative projects. So things like that will be topics

6. I’m very interested to see the kind of music that will be released! Pisces rules over music! I feel there’s going to be timeless music(Saturn ) it wouldn’t surprise me if a new genre appeared, last time Saturn was in Pisces, the grunge era was huge!!! Kurt Cobain was a Pisces. So I’m wondering if there’s going to be another Pisces icon on the rise next year? I feel like it would be someone who’s been in the industry but just now becoming mainstream, I’m thinking it’s going to be woman or feminine energy

7. Also a lot of good movies will be out next year as well! I feel like movies dealing with the past will be the theme, now I know movies are made a year before but I think by the time they are released it fits perfect with what’s going on Astrologically. I always tell people to pay attention to the movies and tv shows that come out. I feel like they’re a glimpse of what’s to come the following year! Especially the big ones, like Wakanda forever & Avatar both were the biggest movies and had themes of family, women and water hellooo

See you all next year

[sl-newsie]

Query: Q x 00 Agent- Ch. 17: Catching Up

5 years later

Life is funny sometimes. One minute you’re carrying out an undercover mission in Nuremberg, Germany. Next thing you know being knocked into a marble wall sends you into a comma. I don’t remember much, only whispers of voices. Time passed so much slower, almost like living in a broken record. When I opened my eyes it felt that only a few days had passed. Turned out it was 4 years. Not something I was ecstatic to hear.

Not much had changed, thank goodness. Mallory was still running the show, Moneypenny still his secretary. The first bit of news that surprised me was that Bond had retired. Ever since the incident at Vesper’s grave he all but fell off the face of the Earth. I had no chance of seeing him again unless he wished to be seen. My mentor, my partner, my closest friend. Gone.

The next thing that shocked me was Q. When one is basically sleeping like the dead for 4 years no one is expected to hold on that long. I wouldn’t expect him to. But he did. He held onto me. Q was the first to visit me the instant he got the news I was awake. He sprinted in, still in his pajamas, and squeezed me so tight I thought I’d pass out again. After he’d calmed down I asked him why he’d stayed single. He simply said: “I don’t fall in love twice. I’m in love with you, dead or alive. And if you’re dead then I have no reason to carry on romantic intentions with someone else.”

After that something sparked. Our half-witted relationship grew stronger almost to the point of full-out dating. Granted our jobs don’t allow much free time but we still enjoy each other’s company after hours. For better or for worse. When I’m forced to kill more than I’d like to during a mission I go home and cling to Q the same as he did to me when I was asleep. 

Things won’t be the same as they were 5 years ago. Right now I keep my eyes and ears open and stay alive. That’s enough for Q and Mallory, so it’s good enough for me.

“Moneypenny, you need to get in here. Now.” M barks urgently from down the hall.

I look up from the forms I’m filling out to see Moneypenny rushing down the aisle. “Something important?”

“More than likely,” she says.

Deciding to follow her, I quickly get up and head towards M’s office-

“0011, this is classified,” the stern leader states clearly before shutting the heavy door.

Crumbs! Since when is something so important that it’s classified to 00s? In a final attempt I put my head to the door and listened to the muffled conversation.

“Sir. What’s the Heracles Project? This lab is not in the books.”

“... I’ll handle it.”

It’s a quick conversation because the door opens after a few seconds and Moneypenny reappears carrying some files.

“What was that about?” I start following her back to her desk.

“Something dangerous. I’m afraid I can’t tell you anything,” she replies nonchalantly as she logs into her computer.

“Then why are you-?”

“Don’t expect to find something in your email,” Moneypenny says without looking up.

Ah. I see how it is.

“I never do. See you later.” I nod stiffly and strut out of the office. Before I head to the break room I snatch my laptop and headphones. Once I’ve made sure the area is empty I click into my email. Sure enough a new message from Moneypenny pops up. The images show an invasion of a lab, one that I’m guessing is very important due to the biohazard signs posted everywhere. Why would Mallory need to keep this under wraps? Perhaps I should reach out to Bond. 

I haven’t told the others about keeping in touch with my old mentor. Bond doesn’t know either. After I woke up from my coma I did some digging and through a series of underground contacts I discovered that he is still alive. I don’t know where, but that’s unnecessary. All I need to know is that my old friend is alive. I also learned that Bond is no longer 007. When I got to meet Nomi, the new 007, I found her to be reasonable. She’s nice, but nothing like Bond.

No, I shouldn’t bother him. Bond’s earned his retirement. If he wants to spend it in isolation I can’t deny him that. So instead I’ll relay the info to Q. No surprise he’s holed up in the lab. Still the same man as he was 5 years ago; although Q’s definitely acquired a wiser appearance. Despite the age lines on his face there’s still the same youthful enthusiasm behind those brown eyes.

“Greetings, darling.” 

The man nods in response. “Same to you, 0011.”

He must be into something deep. When Q gets like he is now it’s as if he and the computer have bonded, creating a man with a computer for a brain. Some would push this off as rude and unattentive but I respect it. Whatever it takes for Q to perform his technological miracles is worth it.

“Q, has Moneypenny said anything-?”

“How’s it going, Q?” M walks up from behind and I cut myself short.

Q catches my drift and goes back to looking at his screen. “There have been many large files wiped from Obruchev’s hard drive. He seemed to be working on some pretty advanced algorithmic-”

“Can you retrieve the files?” M says hastily.

Q frowns. “Trying.”

“Get me everything you can and then destroy the drives.”

“Maybe if I knew more about what this was then I could-”

“Thank you, Q. That’s all.”

Interesting. I’ve never seen M so uptight about something. Especially with Q. Since our Quartermaster is the brains behind all operations I would at least expect him to be kept involved; yet M wants to keep this unknown matter as quiet as possible. Just now a phone starts ringing and I do my best to overhear the conversation.

“It’s 007.”

007? Why would Nomi-?

“Bond?” M’s tone changes.

Bond’s calling? Nice to know my contacts were right. Unfortunately M does not seem to share my enthusiasm for Bond's surprise call.

“I’m guessing Bond didn’t take it too well regarding his replacement,” I inquire dryly.

Mallory scowls at my fake interest. “007 is doing her job-”

“Nomi will never replace Bond. Everyone knows that, even you.”

M just sighs and walks out of the lab before the argument can spiral further. Once he’s gone Q grabs my hand and leads me to the back corner. Now Q’s acting suspicious too?

“Quartermaster, what’s going on? You know you can trust me, right?”

He nods. “M may not like it but you deserve to know. I did some research and found out that the security footage Moneypenny sent me shows Spectre agents extracting Valdo Obruchev in order to steal something called Project Heracles. I’m not too sure about what that is but I’ll find it eventually.”

An unknown project. Capital idea. Just another secret for M to keep.

“Can you gain access?” I ask with unease.

Q looks at me with an amused smile. “I hacked the Nine Eyes program. This should be a cinch.”

“So SPECTRE’s not completely dead. Brilliant. Is Mallory not telling us something? He’s been getting more and more anxious. It wouldn’t be the first time he screwed up.”

“You’re never going to let the whole SPECTRE incident blow over?” Q sighs as he goes back to his computer.

“Hell no.”

In a fit of stubbornness I storm over and pick up a spare tablet to access the footage again. What can be so incriminating to M’s image that he’d try to bury it? However my annoyance is eased off when I feel a warm hand grab mine.

“Shouldn’t be near me, Q. I might break something.”

He doesn’t flinch. “Darling, you’d never hurt me. No matter how pissed you are.”

I roll my eyes. He’s right. I could be pushed to the breaking point and even in a rage of insanity Q will always pull me back, like he’s doing right now.

“Sorry. I know I’ve been a bit unstable the past few months-”

“Eleanor,” Q calmly interrupts and kneels down to face me directly. “You were in a coma. Time turns anyone into a different person. I’m not saying it’s made you weak, but your brain isn’t the same as it was 5 years ago. If you ever need to talk about anything, don't feel like you are a burden.” He gives me a pointed look. “I know you, dear. You need to understand that you can’t carry everything yourself.” Now Q looks at me with grateful eyes. “I’m just thrilled you still remember me.”

By now I’m speechless to his pep talk. How is it that Q, being as unemotional as he is, is the perfect therapist? I didn’t even know why I haven’t been thinking straight but he’s right. This whole time I’ve been trying to piece together a life that’s similar to what I had 5 years ago, trying to make up for lost time. But I don’t have to scramble to catch up. 

“I could never forget you, Q. No matter how many hits I take to the head. I- I don’t know how to thank you,” I whisper. “You have no idea how much I needed to hear that.”

Q just smiles and squeezes my hand. “No need to thank me, 0011. What I do need is for you to continue being the bad-ass that you are.”

I smirk and start to respond but then my phone goes off. I swear if Mallory’s trying to bury me with more paperwork-

“Levie, it’s Bond.”

The voice stimulates me to be on alert and I assume the worst. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m calling to warn you about M. There’s something going on and I’m on my way to find out what. I’ll make this brief: don’t trust anyone. Don’t try to find me, it will only cause more problems for you.” There’s a pause. “It- It’s good to know you’re still alive after all these years.”

“Likewise. Stay strong, Bond.” The line goes dead and I take a second to process what just happened. I was right. Is that a good or bad thing? It’s obviously serious enough for Bond to pull himself out of retirement.

Now I need to make another call. I punch in the familiar number and after a few rings my contact picks up. “Felix, it’s Levie. Has Bond been in contact with you?”

“It’s funny you say that. He’s headed to meet up with one of my contacts in Cuba as we speak.”

Perfect. For now I’ll follow Bond’s warning and stake it out here to do a little snooping. What M doesn’t know won’t kill him.

“Thanks, Felix. I owe you big time if we ever meet in person.”

On the other end the man chuckles. “Don’t mention it. Bond speaks quite proud of you and any pupil of his is a friend of mine. Keep in touch, Levie.”

[mcu-fan-fics-blog]

Misunderstanding The Assignment

Mini Series (Not My GIF)

Natasha Romanoff x Fem! Reader

Word Count: 1115

A/N: Sometimes things don go the way we want them to... That doesn’t mean that we can’t enjoy the ride. I’ve had this idea for a while now as some of you know, but I think I finally found the right way to frame it. There will be more installments. If you like it let me know ;) ILY 

Working in SHIELD changed you. That much was obvious, your discipline was through the roof, your mind was sharper than you ever thought it could be, and let's not even get started with the trust issues you’ve gained along the way. Then again maybe the mind thing isn’t quite there yet. See you could get so focused on somethings that you'd completely block everything else out. You practically lived under a rock in every aspect of your life except your work. You were always on top of that. Which is why you found yourself in the current predicament. See you’d been out on a mission when Clint came back with one of his projects and you weren’t really paying attention when he told you about his most recent assignment... 

Natasha, who was she... She was the Black Widow. Not on your side that was what you knew about her. Color yourself surprised when you find Clint and her in the training room the day after you got back from your mission. “I see we let anyone in here these days.” You say lightly directing yourself towards Clint. He sighs. “Y/n play nice... This is Natasha Romanoff. She’ll be under my supervision, and yours too hopefully.” He says smiling lightly Clint was one of your closest friends and sometimes he took advantage of that. “How long are you going to be gone this time?” You already know where this is going. “Boss wants me back for at least a month, two and I get some brownie points.” He tells you knowingly. “So you bring back Natasha, then you dump her on me. Natasha who if I remember correctly... was your target. Someone you don't trust, someone I don't trust. And you leave?” You question.

He simply nods. “Come on Y/n do me this favor. You know how the boss can get sometimes, especially now.” You knew... Laura was newly pregnant of course she’d want Clint home. You sigh and he smiles knowing he’d already convinced you. “As long as you give credit where credit is due you hear me Barton.” He nods again. And finally someone shuffling catches your eyes. “Well Y/n this is Natasha. Natasha I'm sure you heard you’ll be under Y/n’s supervision for the time being. All I ask is that you behave.” There’s a small smile that plays on her lips. “I think that I can manage that.” With that and some other formalities Clint makes his way out of the training room. “I don’t trust you.” Is all you say. She tensed. “I’ve heard stories... very colorful....” Natasha goes to say something but you stop her. “But for some reason Clint wants to, so there must be something he sees in you.” 

The eye contact is intense to say the least but neither of you waiver so you continue. “I am not your friend, nor will we be. We will train. I'll teach you some of the basics here at SHIELD then we’ll go our separate ways.”  She nods in understanding. “One last thing, you mess up and you won’t be letting me down, you'll be letting Clint down. You do that, I'll hunt you down, and take you out myself.” This seems to irritate Natasha. “I’d like to see you try.” A condescending smirk on her face. “You don’t trust me, I get it.” Her accent heavy. You nod and don’t push her anymore. “Tomorrow at 4 in the morning we will meet her to assess your skills. Then some basics lay of the land and all here at SHIELD.” She nodded and made her exit.

You weren't necessarily happy with this development. Clint had a way of weaseling out of things when his family was involved. You couldn’t blame him, but still you were annoyed. The next day things didn’t go smoothly to say the least. “This did not have to escalate this far.” Was all you said between ragged breaths. See you were currently pinned on the floor with your arm suspiciously num and a stinging pain every time you took a breath. You’d barely gotten a couple of punches out before she was all over you. Maybe you should’ve looked deeper into her. You were definitely missing something. She was in a different mindset when you attacked, you saw the moment the switch flipped in her. You also heard when she zoned back in. She gasped and immediately released you.

She tried to get ahold of you again, but you didn’t let her. “You’ve done enough.” Other agents had already surrounded the two of you. It took two agents five minutes to pop your arm back in place and another one to walk you to the infirmary. Maria had already been informed and was waiting for you. “Is she a liability?” That was all she asked. “Fury will pull the plug if you think this won’t work.” You knew she was worried. You also knew that, that wasn't true. “You flatter me…” She chuckled. “Fury’s got a lot of stake in this. Natasha has a lot of stake in this…” You nodded. “It’s alright officer, I’m not pressing charges.” You joked. “I’ll be fine in a couple of weeks.” You finish off. 

Someone had been stalking your door, you had a feeling of who it was. You opened the door before she could leave. “You here to finish the job?” You jabbed not so lightheartedly. It took her a moment to process your words, and another to school her features. “If you were a ‘job’ I would’ve finished it.” You chuckled. “You almost did…” You didn’t throw it in her face this time, just softly pointed it out. “I’m sorry..” , “It was my fault…” the statements left your respective mouths at the same time. You both acknowledged the statements, and made no move to take them back. “I mean it, I shouldn’t have pushed.” She nodded, accepting your reasoning. “I mean it too I am sorry for you arm… And your ribs.” 

You went back into your room and left the door open for her to follow and she did. “You have some very powerful friends here.” You pointed out. It was somehow all pilling in front of you and it was all you could focus on. This was a mission, she was a mission. “Why.” It was all you asked. You knew better than to think this was only because of her skills, sure they were a part of it but, why her? She blanched at the question. And again you saw her slip a mask on. “We’re not friends nor will we ever be.” You nodded. With that she left and that was that.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

just me rambling again

You know what?

Something I’ve noticed is that Riddle and Azul garner far more forgiveness from the TWST fandom compared to the other OB boys. I so rarely see people saying that Riddle is in the wrong for being a tyrant to his dorm members (they usually dump the blame entirely on his mom). In the case of Azul, I often see him being encouraged to keep up his shady business dealings and even being praised for being “a capitalist king” in spite of his childhood in which he was the one being pushed around.

I think it’s somewhat understandable that these two are the ones that get the most (for lack of a better term) sympathy. Elements of their backstories are extremely relatable (strict parenting and/or being bullied in childhood) and easy for players to project onto. Meanwhile, it’s much more difficult to relate to specific circumstances of the other OB boys. Very few people in real life can say that they were so severely shunned and ostracized in favor of an older sibling and lost their claim to a family inheritance due to being second born, were born into a family with a generations long history of servitude to another family, were a child star that was constantly typecasted as a villain, or were a child genius that accidentally got a sibling killed. People will naturally be inclined to empathize with Riddle and Azul more than the others, and this, in isolation, is fine.

What I don’t agree with is that Riddle and Azul are somehow... less “guilty” of their terrible actions. All of the OB boys have done bad things. I don’t think any of them should be “let off the hook” so easily for them, and I don’t think they should be coddled or encouraged to act a certain way while excusing their past actions. If they aren’t held accountable for their wrongdoings, then how will they be able to recognize that they were being cruel and then change for the better? They won’t.

As I’ve mentioned before, I don’t see many people calling Riddle out for being as strict as he was in episode 1. I will concede that, of the OB boys, Riddle is one of the few that makes an active and more overt effort to better himself following his own Overblot. However, often when people speak of how “bad” Riddle was in episode 1, they attribute his wickedness to his mother (which is, in part, true), but then where they lose me is leaving that wickedness attributed... solely to his mother. It’s so ironic, seeing as Ace explicitly states that Riddle himself should be held accountable for his own  actions, rather than excusing his actions by saying it’s Mama Roseheart’s fault why Riddle ended up like this. Yes, she definitely influenced his thinking and yes, her parenting style is NOT good, but at the end of the day, Riddle is not his mother. Riddle is his own person, and his actions and words are his own, and he therefore needs to own up to them himself. He may have lost out on his childhood (which I do think he deserves a chance to live out), but that doesn’t mean he should be coddled by the fandom over it or told that nothing was really “his” fault--because then he won’t have a chance to really think or to decide anything for himself, and he won’t reflect on where he went wrong and where to go from here (ie episode 4, where he mentions wanting to speak with his mother).

As for Azul, I can see why people would think his story is... inspiring (?) in its own way? I don’t think it would be unusual for victims of bullying to want to “get back” at their tormentors by surpassing them, or even outright seeking revenge against them, both of which are things that Azul has managed to achieve. It’s admirable in a twisted sort of sense, but I also feel that it is these feelings that give rise to the support that Azul enjoys from the fandom space. He was able to overcome difficult circumstances and find success in spite of all the adversity. However, this should not excuse the fact that he used duplicitous means to acquire that success. Azul has lied, tricked, and exploited loopholes to force others under his thumb--he has become a bully himself, in an effort to prove his own bullies wrong. Oddly enough, I almost never see anyone calling him out for this hypocrisy. Instead, the fandom tends to focus on how much of a “boss” Azul is while rarely condemning the fact that he tricked and turned 225 students into unpaid laborers for him (and that’s not even counting the people outside of NRC, like students from his middle school). Sure, those debtors do bear some responsibility as well for not paying attention to the terms and conditions, but Azul is the one that knowingly deceived them--yet he is always being praised for this, when it’s not really meant to be seen as a good thing.

All of this is to say that 🥲 I have yet another uncommon opinion compared to the rest of the TWST fandom/s It’s totally okay to enjoy the characters for what they are, be it good or bad! The point of this post was to point out an observation I’ve made about the fandom and nothing more than that. This just so happens to be a topic that I’ve thought a lot about (especially as someone who can personally relate to Riddle and Azul’s pasts, but still finds it weird that those two are so easily forgiven for the bad things they’ve done), so I wanted to word vomit it out into a post. TWST has such rich and complex characters that they really the cogs in my head turning 👀

[rebeltigera]

Yellow!!

I have some questions for you if your in the mood to answer yes there a little big but I’ve been reading through old post and comics and I just have to know.

1) dose lord macaque help wukong to groom his fur at times and if so dose he avoid the area of where the scar of the circlet is also is he glad the wukong doesn’t have long hair anymore.

2) Dose savage and Ruble sometimes hang with wukong or somthing cause I realised in an mini comic that wukong got to meet them while he looked very tired.

3) will MK be able to visit or at least write letters to pigsty and tang since he’s stuck there for while I mean lord macaque can at least let MK tell pigsty hes okay and not to have a heart attack.

4) for the monkey cop and street art macaque what the cool story behind them if you don’t mind me asking I really want to know if there’s any if there isn’t that’s okay.

5) how dose lord macaque react seeing wukong care or hanging with little monkey cubs on FFM or in macaque kingdoms and if so would he join or sit back dose he even visit FFM time to time

6) how would lord macaque react to wukong having amnesia if so what would he do to revers this.

7) (the last one) Dose wukong struggle to read due to his eyes being burned if so dose lord Macaque try getting someone to help him or dose he just tease wukong time To time.

Thank you for your time and marvellous comics and how hard you’ve been working to answer everyone questions I do hope you have a great year 🙃

o/ 1) Oh yea he doeees , wukong got quite messy fur and if monkeys doesn't help him , Mac will surely . Especially it will get longer in the future again :D He takes special care where scar is , always making Wukong melt into touch he also like long hair wukong 2) In that one mini comic where Wukong was reaaaly tired in the middle of the night - they went visit him far in the past, uknowingly to Macaque. And Wukong doesn't remember it. He thought those were hallucinations . He met them much later on Mac's island again. These days , they do every time when Wukong visit Island, usually sitting on his shoulders. 3) Oh ye, He can call him through phone , and astral projection... Yeah, maybe phone . SO they call each other every evening It tooke hella lot of convincing pigsy to not get on the island himself- 4) Straight up romance n smut. /lh I have nothing to add ,i just thought that the music was fitting soooo much 5) He visit FFM from time to time during their healing arc . and usually, if monkeys will let him that is, he would sit back and watch. He's usually bit sad seeing it. He don't have monkey's on his own Island , he got only Savage and Rumble. Seeing that he feel much nostalgia and longing.

6) He would smack him in the head. if that wouldn't work he would seek doctor's help. If that wouldn't work he would go to Tang , Unless Wukong would lull him and beg with big teary eyes to stop.

7) Nah he doesn't tease him about it. Wukong got a bit of a problem, just a teeny tiny bit and Mac knows from where it come from , so he doesn't touch the subject