#I'm falling into hysterics this is hilarious

[vintagetvstars]

Hugh Laurie Vs. Rik Mayall

Propaganda

Hugh Laurie - (Jeeves and Wooster, A Bit of Fry & Laurie, Blackadder) - He's multi talented... he sings! And writes! And he's hysterically funny!

Rik Mayall - (The Young Ones, Bottom, The Comic Strip Presents...) - Rik played a lot of characters that were horrible people, but he was so charismatic that you couldn't help falling in love with him. I did when I saw The Young Ones when I was 15.

- No Negative Propaganda Please -

Master Poll List | How to submit propaganda | What is vintage? (FAQ)

Additional propaganda below the cut

Hugh Laurie:

a hilarious, kind, and interesting man

he has the range!!

Rik Mayall:

His comedy partner Adrian Edmondson wrote this in his autobiography: "... when we're doing the Edinburgh Fringe Festival I watch a girl fall in love with him, right in front of me... a girl walks by close to the front of the stage. When she sees Rik she just stops in her tracks right in front of the stage, and stares at him. She never looks at me, only at him, but I'm there and I've got a ringside seat... I watch her fall for him, from very close quarters. Watch her gape in wonder. I see her smile grow into a beam. I see her eyes transfixed. It's like she's been injected with a wonder drug that makes her glow from within. This is his power."

[komotionlessqueenmm]

Incorrect The Boys quote (1.0)

Soldier Boy : Honey, Pumpkin, Sugarplum-

(Y/n) cuts him off : What did you do?

Soldier Boy : Why does something have to be wrong?

(Y/n) gives him a pointed look, making him cave.

Soldier Boy rubbing his neck nervously : I may or may not have destroyed your car.

(Y/n) fuming : YOU WHAT!?

(2.0 here)

[triannel]

Hello, can I request a Bill X reader headcanon where it’s the reader's birthday? It can be fluffy or angsty (whatever you prefer!). Also sorry if this is not very specific or anything this is my first time requesting!

It's alright in all honesty, do not worry. Here, a mixed fluff and angst headcannons on the celebration of your/ reader's birthday.

-Bill does not exactly get why birthday's are so important for mortals like you, birthdays are nothing but a reminder of your inevitable death, your mortality, your expiry date slowly inching closer and closer

-Being immortal, the concept of mortality has become quite an alien concept to him. But even so, once he did get a taste of it, his whole being froze like a deer on headlights.

-Perhaps he does understand... to an extent.

-Your birthday reminds him of your mortality and the possibility of losing you, so every once in a while when it's your birthday or when he gets the chance, he would speak of making you immortal, if you would just give him your soul.

-When it comes to giving gifts and greetings, of course he would most likely not directly tell you that he cares for you enough to give a gift or to even greet you. He still ends up doing it in his own strange ways though, but he would still play it off as nothing you should take note of. He simply sees it as something embarrassing and unfit for him to do...(unless of course if it's for a deal or to pursue what he wants).

-Doing favors/ Giving gifts for nothing but because he cares and loves you is difficult for him to comprehend.

A cold breeze passes by you, making your blanket fall down and also causing you to shiver slightly. Sitting atop the roof, you smiled as you watch people enjoy themselves at the party, you could join them, but you denied, letting yourself drift off to sleep instead

Waking up you get greeted by a certain triangle guy

"HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE ONE YEAR CLOSER TO YOUR DEATH?!" Bill asked with a smirk on his features, his hands on his sides as he stared at you.

Raising an eyebrow, you smiled back at him as you spoke.

"It feels okay, I'm glad to make it this far."

"AWW THAT'S GREAT! WELL, TO MAKE IT EVEN BETTER, HERE!" Snapping once, a necklace with a real blinking eye appeared on your hand.

The moment you felt the texture of the string, it quickly gives you goosebumps. Looking down, the attached eye on the necklace blinks at you. As you forced your face to not cringed, you gave him a smile once more. You've known him for a quite a while, but his surprises are one of the things that you would never get used to.

"Thanks...!" A smile forced itself on your face, the flesh-string on your hand starting to throb a little.

Once he sees your reaction, he laughs loudly. You should see the look on your face... As he laughed hysterically, you quickly placed the necklace in your pocket. A slight bit of relief courses through you once you do so.

"AHAHAHAHAHA HILARIOUS!" Bill spoke, rubbing off a tear from his eye.

With a swift wipe on your pants, your hands become clean from the residue of the necklace. Chuckling a little awkwardly, you just gaze back at him. A genuine smile sprouts once more on your face as you stepped forward.

"...Well still though, thank you, for greeting me happy birthday, and giving me a gift."

"EH, YEAH SURE..." He spoke rolling his eye slightly. "BYE!" Floating off, he just disappeared.

The wind once more passes by you, your eyes fixated to where he disappeared. "Bye" you spoke gently towards no one.

Then suddenly, Bill floated back once more, swinging his cane around before speaking.

"OH YEAH, IF YOU WANT A REAL GIFT THEN GIVE ME YOUR SOUL AND I'LL MAKE YOU IMMORTAL!"

Just like that, he left once more, rustling the trees as he does so. Gazing back to the direction he disappeared to, a light chuckle was heard from you. The environment now quiet and still, you decide to sit back down and slide your legs forward to swing on the ledge of the roof, then you suddenly wake up from the dream.

Quiet murmurs from the background slowly becomes audible, opening your eyes, you felt warm, your blanket was lifted up to your shoulders. Shifting your legs, you felt something circular and strange in your pocket. Reaching down to take it out, you see the same necklace Bill gave you in the dream.

I decided to choose uppercase letters when Bill Cipher talks because of a certain reddit post in which, (I think), an official Q and A has occured between Bill Cipher himself and the audience. Either way, I hope you like it. Please do leave a comment if I wrote his character well.

[starlight-write]

Bad idea

A/N: Yeah...it's been six months since I've even touched this blog but I have a new hyperfixation so here we are. Kind of wrote this in a daze but let me know what you think, as well as any other prompts or requests you'd like to see!

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Pairings: Ler!Alastor, Lee!Angeldust, Switch!Charlie (All Platonic)

Summary: Angel somehow convinces Charlie to pull a prank on Alastor. Neither are prepared for the consequences this will have.

Warnings: Tickling, Swearing, Mild sex jokes

Word Count: 2145

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah this was a bad idea.

Rapid footsteps could be heard booming down the hallways of the hotel as Charlie and Angeldust found themselves running for their lives away from one of the most powerful overlords in Hell.

Charlie couldn't quite say what possessed her to get involved with one of Angeldust's pranks, maybe it was boredom or a desire to bond with her friend, but common sense should've told her to back out once Angel named their target.

It was no secret the Radio Demon had a soft spot for his favorite dish which he cooked at the same time each day without fail.

It was also no secret that the demon's oral hygiene was...lacking.

No matter how many times he was informed of this fact, politely or otherwise, Alastor just did not seem to care about keep that particular area clean.

So of course, when the spider demon suggested the two of them mix toothpaste in with the demon's jambalaya, Charlie knew the deal was too hilarious to pass up.

The look on the demon's face when he came back to see that his food had turned blue was priceless.

Yeah, a bad idea, but hilarious nonetheless.

Or it would be until the demon had caught up to them at least.

Neither of them thought the demon would actually hurt them over something like this, seeing as it would hurt his own goals in the long run, but they weren't too keen on finding out what he would do instead.

The pair stopped abruptly at the end of the hallway in front of the only other elevator on that floor. Angeldust crouched and frantically pressed the down button, while Charlie's dumbass was trying to pry the doors open.

"You're seriously telling me you didn't have a better escape plan than just yelling 'Run'?"

"Hey, I didn't actually think we'd make it as far as actually getting into that creep's room. The plan was to at least be able to outrun you but you're a lot faster than I would've thought, Princess." The spider chucked.

The girl's jaw dropped at hearing that. "I thought this stupid prank was a chance for us to bond! You were just going to ditch me to take the fall for your stupid idea?!?!"

The elevator chimed as the doors opened.

"Yeah, pretty much." The spider chuckled as he jumped inside.

Betrayal and a bit of anger filled the girl as her eyes went red and horns grew on top of her head. She grunted as she tackled her friend inside the elevator, doors closing behind her.

Angel grunted as he hit the ground. "Aww, did I make the pretty princess mad? I don't see what the big deal is, whatever that red freak has planned, he'll go a lot easier on you." The demon said as he smiled up at his friend.

"Yeah, well you're gonna wish you'd stayed behind once I'm through with you."

With that, the girl began skittering her fingers rapidly underneath the spider's arms.

Whatever smartass remark Angel was going to say next died in his throat and was replaced with hysterical laughter as his worst spot was targeted.

"aaa-AAH! AHAHA-Charlie! CHARLIHEHEHEHAHA!!! WAHAHAHIT!! Wait- DONT- AHAHAHAA!!!" The spider demon cried out as he began kicking his legs viciously.

Charlie had been meaning to test her friend's sensitivity for a while now. She had seen how small touches and pokes affected her friend from time to time. She'd noticed when Husk began giving quick pinches to the spider's ribs whenever he mad a dirty joke or was becoming too much for the cat to handle. Or when her girlfriend used a pen to poke around the spider's torso whenever she needed to herd him away from something. She especially noticed how Angel's face contorted each time as he fought to suppress his smile. Charlie had been waiting for the longest time to ask the demon about it, or test her theory herself. Y'know... to bond.

So yeah, Angel had this coming for a while now.

So focused on her revenge, neither her or Angel noticed the elevator open to the main floor, where Alastor was waiting patiently for the two of them right outside the entrance.

"Well well well, seems the two little troublemakers have turned on each other already, how fun!" The demon grinned evilly before conjuring up a pair of tentacles to yank the pair out of the elevator.

The two of them yelped as they were dragged from their hiding spot and held midair by the appendages.

Alastor looked the two of them up and down, eye twitching as he did so. "So...it's clear to me that you two heathens are looking for a death sentence, which I am more than happy to provide. But before I get to teaching the two of you a lesson, I am curious who's genius idea it was to mess with the Radio Demon in the first place."

"Mine!" Angel exclaimed proudly. Earning a confused look from Charlie.

"What? He clearly thought my idea was good, obviously I want credit for it." Smug bastard. Alastor did not seem amused with his confession however, Angel's comment actually seeming to have annoyed him even further.

"I thought so." The demon said. "I'd expect this level of childishness from someone like you, although I'm thankful it wasn't of a more perverted nature. However..." He turned his focus to Charlie who was still trying to wriggle her way out of the grip the appendage had around her waist.

"I expected much more from you, Charlie. Why I'd go as far to say I'm disappointed in you."

She felt a pang in her chest at hearing the demon's words.

"No, Alastor...I'm sorry if we upset you. I just thought it would be a bit of harmless fun! And Angel never asks to do anything with me so I got a bit excited. I'm sorry."

A frown quickly replaced Angel's smug grin and he averted his gaze to the floor.

Alastor couldn't help but chuckle at the two of them. "Oh you two are so sweet...it makes me sick. But how could I not accept such a heartfelt apology coming from my favorite hostess?"

The two perked up almost immediately.

"So...we're off the hook?" Angel asked hopefully.

Alastor fiddled with his staff as if bored by this whole conversation. "Well, seeing that neither of you are getting maimed today, I'd say yes...to an extent."

"To an extent?" The princess asked.

"Well I still have to teach the two of you a lesson somehow. No one messes with the Radio Demon and gets away with it." He smiled. "However, I do believe Charlie here has given me a wonderful idea how to do that~"

She looked at him, confused. "What do you mean by-AAAAAAAA!!"

Charlie let out a shriek as she felt something wriggle on the back of her knee. She looked down to see a much smaller tentacle scribbling along the dreaded spot. She began kicking her legs out desperately only to be stopped by two more tentacles holding them in place.

The attack quickly threw the girl into hysterics, the one tentacle already throwing her into a frenzy. Screaming and whipping her head side to side, she pushed and pounded her fists against the appendage retraining her, trying and failing to reach down to stop the offending tentacle that was honing in on her worst spot.

Angeldust couldn't help but laugh at her dramatic reaction. Although, he wasn't too keen on getting his shit wrecked again. Thinking he could use his charm to smooth-talk his way out of this situation, seeing as the demon avoided him like the plague if he could talk dirty enough.

"You guys are full of surprises today, arent'cha?" He said using his little flirtatious tone, knowing it annoyed Alastor to no end. "I'm proud your old ass is finally experimenting, dust nuts. I'm more than happy to help you explore with bondage but I can't say I'm all that into this tickling stuff."

The demon turned to him and grinned evilly. "Oh, good! That's exactly what I was afraid of."

Yeah, bad idea.

Angel's wrists were snatched up by yet another appendage before two more attacked his underarms for the second time that day.

"GAHAHAHAHAHAD OKAY!! OKAY CUHUHUHUT IT OHOHOUT!!"

Angel screamed, trying with all his power to pull his arms down but it was no use, the radio demon had the two of them completely and hopelessly trapped.

Alastor just hummed, pressing a hand to his chin and pretended to think. "Don't think you two have learned your lesson quite yet. Although, I am new to this particular method. Hows about I ask an expert. Oh Charlie~" He turned to the princess again. "Do tell me, how effective would you say is tickling your enemies into submission?"

The poor girl couldn't even get a word out between her screaming fits of laughter. All she could do was shake her head and pound her fists against her restraints as the back of her knee was tickled mercilessly.

"AAHAHAHAHA- STAHAHAAAAAA- ALASTAAAHAHA PLEHEHEHEHE-"

Alastor leaned in with one hand cupping his ear. "What's that? I'm sorry, I couldn't quite understand. I don't speak heathen, after all." He teased. "Angeldust would you mind interpreting?"

Angel began to lose himself in his own fit of hysterics as yet another one of the tentacles found its way to his stomach, scribbling wildly.

Although he was tempted to sprout his extra sets of arms, Angel has been in enough tickle fights with Cherri to know that underneath those arms would be exploited as well and just make the agonizing feeling ten times worse.

It took a lot more work for Angel to reach the same level of hysterics Charlie was currently in. Even with the three tentacles making him laugh his head off, Angel would say he was still holding out better than he normally would. At least compared to Charlie, who wasn't even fully restrained but was still completely losing her mind just from that one spot.

Alastor noticed this as well and seeing as anything more would probably make the poor girl faint, he focused his attention on Angeldust.

"You still feeling smart? Tell me, you still think your little genius idea was worth the trouble?"

The demon conjured up yet another pair of tentacles to poke and prod at his victim before they settled on attacking the demon's thighs instead.

Whatever control Angeldust thought he'd maintained before disappeared immediately. The merciless tickling in three different areas proved too much for him to handle.

"NOOHOHOHO- NO! I DOHOHOHON'T! I'M SORRYHEHEHEHEHE- I PROHOHOMISE IT WON"T HAHAHAPPEN AGAHAHAHAIN!!!"

"Good enough."

And with that, the tickling stopped. The tentacles carefully setting Charlie on the ground and disappearing while Angeldust was unceremoniously dropped midair.

Charlie huffed and hugged her legs to her chest, residual laughter still wracking her body.

Angeldust peeled his face off the ground and tried to recover from the torture as well.

"Well, I certainly hope that little lesson drilled something useful into your skulls. It's almost as if you act like children, you'll be treated as such. Thank you, Charlie for that wonderful new torture tactic." He said smiling down at his victims.

Angeldust huffed and brushed himself off as he finally stood up. "Yeah, yeah. I'm glad you found something that gets your dick hard, just remember that consent is key before you go around fucking people up. I mean look at Charlie, you practically killed her." He said, gesturing to his friend who was still lying on the floor.

The demon let out a short laugh as he looked at the girl. Alastor snapped his fingers and a glass of water appeared beside Charlie's corpse.

"Well this certainly was an entertaining bonding activity." He said, turning to Angeldust once more.

"Just remember, I won't be as forgiving the next time you decide to pull a stunt like this." The demon said, finally before making his way back down the hall.

"If you took care of that rancid breath I wouldn't have too!" Angel shouted.

"Smells better than the musk you track in after one of your little shoots!"

Angeldust flipped the demon off as he watched him disappear down the hallway.

Eh, he's got a point. He thought to himself and looked down at his friend who was still in a fetal position on the floor.

Charlie had finally caught her breath and turned over on her back. Angel crouched down to inspect the damage.

"You alive?" He asked, giving her a soft punch on her arm.

The princess just glared at him and stuck a finger in his face.

"I am never listening to your dumbass again." She declared, earning another laugh from her friend.

"Yeah, that was a bad idea."

[animentality]

i'm sorry, it's just soooooooo fucking funny that the first scene we see Gortash in, he and Orin come across as this united front, the Bully Ketheric Thorm League....and then the very NEXT scene.

is Orin telling Gortash he's a big stinky loser and his plan is falling apart, and Gortash telling her to shut up, and then she's like oh btw my sibling is coming, and he's like they live???

and it becomes IMMEDIATELY apparent that he's already betraying Orin in his mind, like, the SECOND he knows the dark urge is alive, that bitch is GONE. He didn't even hesitate for ONE SECOND to side with the dark urge, Orin hasn't even LEFT THE ROOM, and he's already on their side.

it's hysterical.

genuinely hilarious, how much they all hated each other, and the lynchpin holding their big evil plan together was the person who was coming to destroy it all.

[ronearoundblindly]

I have an idea for “how would…” !

It comes from a prank I’m seeing on tiktok lately of couples staying in a hotel room with 2 beds.

How would the guys react to reader saying they can sleep in separate beds tonight? 😆

Inspo: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP81dBS8k/

That's freaking hilarious, the link, but we've got lots of babes to cover! (Also...guess who realized Jake was missing from the banner? 😳👈 This doof.)

Warnings for, well, discussing couples and bed/bedtime activities but it's not real bad. MINORS DNI to be safe!

James Mace

You know what's tiny? A space bunk. He will starfish like a mothaf**ker on that queen size, and you gotta just give him that from time to time. If the stay in the hotel is just one night (and there's been no other time away from you recently), absolutely he will stretch out, pillows everywhere, each limb under a separate layer,--seriously though why are there nine layers of blankets and sheets? that's nuts--and no alarm if at all possible. However, if the stay is longer or the hotel is for a specific couple's vacation thing, then no, he would never spend a whole night outside of your bed. Maybe a nap after too much sun, or likely some space if he (or you) is feeling ill, but otherwise, Mace is very good at sharing resources with people he likes.

Curtis Everett

Oof. I really had to think about this guy. Some of Mace applies here, too, but Curtis likes the idea of having extra room far more than he likes using the room. I think he would try to fall asleep in the other bed for whatever reason, and then inevitably just crawl back in with you. He has never made it a whole night away, even if he falls asleep on the couch at home. He always has to be within arm's reach by the time you wake up.

Jimmy Dobyne

No. Nope. Not in the slightest.

He doesn't particularly like waste, so he might call down to see if there is a room with just one bed available, in case some other guests could use the two. Jimmy also hates the fuss of cleaning. He's acutely aware of how much effort would go into remaking the second bed (washing, etc) and won't even put things on top of the unused bed for the whole stay. Not your bag. Not your butt. Not a towel. Nada.

Johnny Storm

Few quick questions: this hotel is fireproof, right? The bedding, okay, but what about the carpet? The curtains? Are the headboards made of wood? Is the varnish flammable? You don't know? Shit, well, he needs to know.

I feel like Johnny has to have like a special tarp thing to lay over normal bed linens, but honestly, I can't really see how he's ever safe to sleep outside of his own customized bedroom. People do not have complete control while they are unconscious. That's super dangerous for folks like Johnny. Reed's fine because what's the worst that could happen, his foot actually hangs off the edge of the mattress? If we were talking about Ben, the weight-capacity would be a concern, too, so even if you are fine to sleep in the same bed as Johnny and sometimes get burned a bit...I...I'm just not convinced a hotel would want extraneous furniture in there.

That's not a sexy answer, but it's the one you're getting.

Jake Jensen

Dude can fall asleep any. where. any. time. However, if he is lucid enough to pick where he'll fall asleep, it will always be with you...

...after hysterically jumping around like a kid on the extra bed.

I'll just, yeah, leave you with that image. Have fun. Stay weird, Jake.

Lloyd Hansen

If you two are actively doing something--yes, of course, I mean sex or sexual acts or whatever nasty word Lloyd wants to call it--then you are in the same...general area. That's not limited to a bed.

For sleeping, real sleeping, separate beds are 99% of the time a must. There is one exception to this: if Lloyd has been worn out or injured badly on a job--which is so rare--and if it's not quite bad enough to be in a hospital hooked to machines to keep him alive, then he becomes a sort of energy leech and keeps you very close all the time. This is Lloyd's vampire phase. As you can probably deduce, it is not about you, but he will take whatever he can from you.

Ari Levinson

50/50. Ari is moody. He changes with the wind (not in a bad way but for all the small, subtle stuff), and he sometimes just fancies a bit of something different. Take that as you will--and by that I mean run with it because I am totally talking about all sorts of different things to do in bed. He's the type of man who does better with a bit of alone time, too. Never means any offense by it. Just has spells of needing socializing and needing quiet.

Ransom Drysdale

Literally, I feel like I always have the same answer for Ran: it depends on when this is in your relationship and what the hotel stay is for.

Early on in dating, he aires on the side of caution and goes by his mood and yours. If there's been frustration in the day--due to his family or work or anything--then maybe you need some space. When Ransom is in a relationship, for real, he's actually very attuned to the tone of sex--which, of course, will happen no matter the mood of the day--so a lot of connection and intimacy will tell him it's good to stay close while a simpler, transactional need to get off tells him the other bed might be best.

Ran, however, would not get--or enjoy--the 'prank' of this challenge, and stop goddamn filming him for tiktok!

Steve Rogers

Pardon my language, but are you fucking kidding? The look on Steve's face if you so much as hinted... His head would immediately be spinning with 'what did I do wrong?' and 'what romantic gesture can I make right here right now to fix it?'

He's a simple man, and that is a simple no.

Bucky Barnes

Trickier. Much trickier.

Hmm. How to explain...

This feels like a whole season of 'What If...?' but I'll try to simplify.

Are you an Avenger or agent? Are you two on a mission together? I think Bucky is hardcore about keeping sharp and professional during those times. Sleep shifts. Minimal touching. The whole nine yards because safety is paramount. Is there some reason there could be surveillance of you two and you're supposed to be a couple? Bucky can put on one hell of a show like that. Just saying. I doubt, however, that he would mix business and pleasure unless absolutely necessary.

Are you a civilian? Is he a civilian now? Then no, he's in that one bed holding you until the second (maybe third) snooze cycle rings on his alarm. He's notorious for giving himself cushions of time, so it's never him needing to rush out on the average day. It took a while to adjust, but Buck can now also vacation with the best of them. Takes advantage of all the bells and whistles: minibar, room service, and the 'do not disturb' sign. Champion vacationer, he is, of this I have no doubt.

Thank you for asking!

A/N: Mace is a sleeper fave of mine, and I would do anything for that man, I swear... Also, would someone like to tell me why Bucky gets soooo 🥵 in all of these. My god, what am I feeding that boi?

[Main Masterlist; Who Would...Asks; Ko-Fi]

[rozaceous]

ive read mdzs years ago and stalled on tgcf (mainly bc i got really busy and then forgot everything lmao), but never really tried scum villain. if you don't mind, can you share why you like it? personally, the summary didn't really draw me in and the animation looked unfortunately really .... low budget.

hi anon! you've activated my trap card, which is Talking About Things I Enjoy At Length! congratulations! congratulations! congratulations! important things must be said three times!

(i also stalled w tgcf btw, bc it's so long that i could never summon up sufficient interest. and i will say that the svsss donghua is less than inspiring. i thought it was fun but that's speaking as someone who watched it after already being in love w the source content, so ymmv. i wasn't a particular fan of the animation style either, but considering that scum villain is the black sheep of mxtx's works in terms of the official content that gets produced, i was glad for what i could get.)

reasons to love scum villain!

hilarious use of unreliable narrator. shen qingqiu is one of my top favorite characters ever. he's not stupid or even, despite common fan depiction, all that oblivious--he's just incredibly genre-savvy and hasn't realized that the genre has changed. also he's hysterical.

but then sometimes, too, you look more objectively at things he glosses over and have a 'wait a sec' moment bc it's actually deeply disturbing.

it has a really fun way of of playing with transmigration stories and tropes. this was, in a sense, my intro to chinese web novel conventions as a western reader, and you can learn a lot bc mxtx is busy poking fun at all of them.

phenomenally meta.

luo binghe is a fantastic character. ppl who don't like him--i'll meet you out back. ostensibly the protagonist of the novel sqq has found himself in, supposedly blessed with every talent and the world prepared to fall at his feet, but MAN is it hard being luo binghe.

ppl will make a big deal abt lbh being obsessed w sqq but fail to acknowledge that sqq is just as weird and obsessed abt lbh. epitome of that AITA response of:

liu qingge

mxtx does so much with her villains, always.

as much as some of the miscommunication between sqq and lbh is contrived, it's also literally the only way that things could play out and makes absolute sense.

this classic scene, given utterly without context:

After a pause, Shen Qingqiu changed his angle. "What's your name?" The first one replied. "Six Balls." "What does that mean?" "When I was born, my pa held me and said I was six balls heavy." Shen Qingqiu was speechless. Shot put balls or ping-pong balls?! This kind of name is absolutely meaningless.

i think, honestly, my favorite thing abt scum villain is that you can read it quickly and have a good time, but if you're taking your time and paying attention, there is so much more happening underneath the surface! it's such a clever book, i'm honestly stunned (and humbled) that mxtx produced this as her first novel and at such a young age.

[lover-of-mine]

Top 5 most hilarious, ridiculous BT theories? 😂

I'm gonna give you my favorites in no particular order.

Ryliver is sleeping together. Why did this make the list? Well, 3 weeks ago I had people in my inbox telling me that Oliver and Lou are in love and Oliver is only going along to protect him from the buddie crazies, and that's why they're hiding Lou. Now Oliver is sleeping with Ryan and they are forcing the network to do what they want and conspiring to get Lou out. So like, which one is it? Is he with Ryan or Lou? Is he protecting him or trying to force him out? Can they pick a struggle? Probably not.

The what if episode without Eddie that's just buddie highlights with Eddie removed. The way they think that putting Buck in the same situations he's been with Eddie with an explicit love interest and having Buck have the same reaction helps them is hysterical. That would literally just further the idea that Buck is in love with Eddie, because if he has these reactions with someone he's romantically involved, then he has romantic feelings for Eddie. It's a very simple parallel they don't seem to understand. They also seemed to have forgotten that Tommy left the 118 before Buck joined so even without Eddie, it would not lead to bt. Also got me thinking "so you agree that buddie is romantic?" I would laugh if Tommy got shot tho, but don't you dare break the sanctity of the shooting.

That leads us to the "Tim only wrote Eddie so that he could bring Tommy in during season 7 and have him replace him." Somehow they think that they would write Eddie in to give his personality to some random character 6 seasons later because somehow, Tommy has been in the show longer in their heads, even though Hen Begins is 9 episodes after Eddie was introduced (I think they think that the begins episodes being earlier in the timeline means something it does not), so the spot was always meant to be Tommy's, Eddie was just a placeholder for Buck to kinda fall for but then choose Tommy so they then they could remove Eddie seamlessly. Doesn't make sense at all. I like that they admit that Buck is "kinda" in love with Eddie. Just a reminder that Ryan didn't audition, was brought in as a lead, and Eddie was written for him.

The Tommy is getting a spinoff week was also fun. I was legit rolling around on the floor with how much I was laughing. They had potential names. Plots. Buck was going to leave the 118. They were sending posters to Tim. They had the whole thing locked and loaded. And they kept talking about it like it was a sure thing for whatever reason. Highly entertaining. Was convinced they were rage baiting me until the spies confirmed they were in fact talking about a spinoff as if it was a done deal.

And boring but the invisible string thing. They somehow missed the way that Eddie was the one who restarted Buck's heart. That and the way that multiple people are on record saying that Lou was a last minute decision. And that he was brought in for Eddie. But sure, they absolutely took the time to pretend the relationship has been planned since season 2 when they changed it from Eddie to Buck mid filming the cruise. Totally happened.

Honorable mentions: the Chris has 3 dads and Tommy is somehow the better parent and the only one who can connect with him, and the Tommy is going to admit he was interested in Eddie, Eddie is going to admit he is interested in Tommy, Buck because he just loves them both so much is just going to accept being 50th choice.

[amberjazmyn]

matthew gray gubler one shot

𝘨𝘪𝘧 𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘦 - what's so funny? 

𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 - none whatsoever 

𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘱𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 - you were filming your boyfriend, matthew gray gubler for your Instagram story and he kept on messing up the introduction of his own name, making himself laugh over and over again. 

𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳'𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦 - whilst i still haven't seen criminal minds, i'm falling in love with m.g.g and i will be making sure i watch criminal minds no matter what because i think i'm slowly starting to crush on dr spencer reid. 

masterlist

- - -

"--i'm sorry babe!" matthew giggles as he burst out into laughter again in the middle of his sentence as you groan 

"what is so funny, matthew?" you whine, lowering your phone as you stop filming him as he starts dying of laughter, heavily convinced that tears of laughter are now welling up in his eyes 

"i don't know!" he giggles out as his entire body shakes as the laughs create the jerking movements as you couldn't help but also start laughing with your boyfriend 

"you are such an idiot, matthew!" you say in between your giggles as you set your phone down, moving closer to your boyfriend who was standing in front of the white wall in front of your guys' office space 

"but i'm your idiot," matthew speaks softly, fully recovered from his hysterical laughing fit, his mouth tickling the baby hairs that rest against your ear, making you flinch due to the ticklish sensation 

"yes, that you are, my darling boy!" you whispered back, your arms resting against matthew's shoulders as he smiled brightly, pushing you closer to him, your eyes widening as you knew exactly where this was heading and, you were liking it 

however, it seemed as if matthew was just being cheeky. 

"do you think we could try again for your insta story?" matthew pulls back as you huff, rolling your eyes but nodded your head and smiled 

"of course, we can baby! just, don't laugh at nothing again please!" you giggle out as he nods his head, not promising anything as you bite your tongue, giving your boyfriend a head-nod, letting him know you were filming 

"...howdy, i'm matthew gray gubler and--" matthew just started hysterically laughing again

 this then causes you to groan loudly and you flip the camera to your face as you shake your head, flipping back to matthew only to see him literally crying tears of laughter this time. his entire body folded in half, his arms around his stomach as he tries to stop his laughter at seemingly nothing. 

"WHAT IS SO FUNNY MATTHEW?!" you screech, whining as you finish the instagram video as matthew's hysterical laughter is the last thing heard in the video before it stops for you had decided to post it to your story anyway - thinking that yours and his fans would find it hilarious 

whatever matthew had found so funny was maybe never to be found out, however, every time you watched that video, it brought you unexplainable joy. whilst matthew couldn't explain why he was hysterically laughing in all of those failed instagram story attempts that had been saved to your camera roll, you couldn't explain why each one of them made you so happy and joyful. and, at the end of the day, the reasoning as to why no longer mattered was because it was your boyfriend in his happiest state of mind - with you, the love of his life. 

- - - 

decided to take a break with my spn boys and girls and do one for my favourite criminal minds actor. i may start to include some criminal minds actors and characters because i'm wanting to start watching it! so look out for some spn and criminal minds imagines! 

ily xx

word count; 652

[ticklygiggles]

Day 6 - Ginny's birthday Extravaganza

A/N: A volleyball coach and a literature sensei being cute together, I hope you enjoy precious babies my deeeear! @otomiya-tickles

Summary: Takeda-sensei refuses to give up on his volleyball practice, but his tenacity and stubbornness will be his downfall because his boyfriend, Ukai-kun, is really mean.

"You suck at this."

"I never- huff, huff- s-said I was, haaah, good at s-sports..."

How hilarious it was to see the always perfect Takeda-sensei so short of breath. His face was flushed, his glasses askew, and his forehead was covered in a layer of sweat. 

Ukai never thought that Takeda would actually agree to play volleyball with him after the boys quickly finished their practices, but stubborn and tenacious as always, Takeda had accepted without a second thought, and now he could barely form a coherent word between heavy breaths and gasps.

It was foolish of Ukai, though, to think his cute boyfriend would decline a challenge. That was just not his personality and Ukai couldn't help but fall a little deeper in love with him for that.

He chuckled to himself when Takeda failed to send the ball to the other side of the net where Ukai was ready to receive it. Maybe this little sensei had had enough.

"Okay, I think we should stop now, you're not doing this right," he teased him, smirking when Takeda glared at him, fixing his glasses. 

"If I give you," he gulped, taking a deep breath, "a literature- huff, test, you would fail it, but I won't fail this."

Ukai felt his heart flutter. He loved Takeda's determination, it was one of his favorite traits, but he also knew that Takeda wouldn't be a volleyball genius just because he wanted to, that is to say, he needed more practice than just Ukai throwing ball after ball at him. 

But he would amuse him just because he could, and Ukai would also amuse himself, of course.

"Okay, fine. Tell you what, if you manage to serve the ball properly this time…" Ukai had to fight the urge to laugh when Takeda frowned. "... Dinner's on me, but if you fail then I'll, hmm, oh! Then I'll tickle you for… five minutes."

Takeda's face, already red, flushed brightly, finally making Ukai finally laugh out loud. 

"That's stupid!" Takeda squeaked. "Why would you say that?! Now I'm too nervous!" 

"Are you going to try or are you not? Make it quick, I'm counting. One…"

"H-Hold on! I need to think- 

"Two!" 

"I'm telling you to wait, I-

"Three!

"Okay, fine! I'll do it, dammit!" Takeda grabbed the nearest ball and got himself ready. Ukai watched him amused, he could tell Takeda was trying to copy Kageyama's movements, but it was useless. "Here it goes, get ready! I'm gonna blow off your head!"

Ukai laughed again. "Why are you threatening me?!" 

Takeds took a deep breath and threw the ball up, he jumped and hit it and it… didn't even make it to the net. He watched with pure disbelief in his eyes as the ball was propelled just a few feet in front of him when he hit it. Ukai knew that Takeda had used all his strength to hit that ball, but he had already practiced a lot, there was not much energy inside his body now.

Ukai couldn't help but start laughing while Takeda's ears turned red.

"S-Stop! I- I was not ready, the ball was deflated so it didn't- no! D-Don't come any closer, I'll scream! Don't- ahahaha!" 

Ukai chuckled, his hands all over Takeda's body. "The ball was deflated you say? I see it pretty well inflated, though?" 

Ukai had wrestled Takeda to the floor, straddling him, as he tickled his sides, squeezing up and down and watching with a bright smile how Takeda broke into hysterical giggles. He was so adorably ticklish. 

"It's nahahat! Tihihickling is nohohot fahahair! Ahahahagh!"

"It is fair. You accepted the terms and conditions. I forgot to set the timer, though. I'll have to calculate the time myself," Ukai said, teasing his boyfriend with a wide smirk. 

Takeda shook his head. "Y-You ahahahare teheherrible ahahat mahahath, we wohohon't- AHAHAHA! I'm sohohohorry!" Takeda cackled, squirming and weakly pushing at Ukai's hands as they climbed up towards his ribs. 

"Now you're sorry after being a little shit, huh? I don't think so. I'm adding two more minutes to your punishment."

Takeda shrieked, kicking his legs behind Ukai. "Nahahaha! I sahahahaid I'm sohohohorry! Ahahaha, plehehease!" 

"How long do you think it's been? I estimate about 10 seconds at most?" Ukai said, his fingers crawling up Takeda's ribs, looking for the ticklish spots under his arms. "You still have a long way to go."

"You ahahahare the wohohohorst!" Takeda laughed, throwing his head back as he desperately tried to protect his underarms from Ukai's fingers. "I hahahahate yohohou!" 

Ukai gasped, "you hate me? Sensei, you hurt my feelings. That'll add two more minutes of tickling." 

"PLEHEHEASE, Ukahahai-kuhuhuhun!" 

Ukai laughed softly. His darling was already crying of laughter, would he really stand being tickled for more than five minutes?

The answer was no. 

"Maybe I'll stop if you invite me to dinner?" Takeda nodded, too busy laughing his head off as Ukai's fingers wiggled under his arms, tickling him like crazy. "You also have to clean the gym up before we leave."

"I'll do ahahahanythihihing, plehehease!" 

Ukai stopped at once, and he watched with great pleasure that lingering smile on Takeda's face and heard his adorable residual giggles. He looked so adorably flustered, Ukai couldn't help but lean down to press a tender kiss to his lips. 

"Let's get going," Ukai said, standing up and helping Takeda on his shaky legs. Once he was up, Ukai lovingly fixed his glasses and put a sweater around Takeda's shoulders before placing a water bottle between his shaky hands. "Let's make the kids clean tomorrow, I'm starving."

Takeda gulped on the water and when he caught his breath again, he nodded with a warm smile. "Okay. I'm starving too, it's all because of you though." He rolled his eyes playfully and giggled when Ukai poked his tummy. 

"Yes, yes, yes. Let's get going, sensei. Unless you want me to tickle you again?" 

Ukai laughed when Takeda pushed him out of the gym, urging them both to leave. Ah, he felt like a high schooler in love, but maybe that wasn't so bad at all!

[draco-spencers-paramour]

I'm really bored at work right now i'm missing my little wizard son and his wizard dad so do you have any hcs on baby scorpius? 😂

YES!! I’m on it!!

Watching Draco be the best dad to scorpius.

- He’s a daddy’s boy he always has been. His first words were definitely “Dada”

- Draco chases him around your house, Scorpius’ little feet pattering trying to outrun draco whilst he giggles hysterically

- It’s the cutest when you’ve come back from seeing friends and Draco and scorpius have been hanging out all day and you see them asleep on the sofa, lego scattered everywhere and you hear the sweet soft snores of scorpius lying on top of Dracos chest

-Draco calls him “little scorpion” when Scorp does his grabby hands at Draco when he wants a hug

- The uncanny resemblance between the two of them. Same shade of blonde. same hairstyle. freaking adorable.

- Draco feeding scorp pretending the spoon is some edible mythical creature flying towards scorps mouth

- Draco teaching scorp the aguamenti spell and scorp is literally a baby so when he copies draco with his little wand, it goes wrong and draco is hit in the face by a big ball of water.

(Which is obviously completely hilarious to scorp which in turn makes Draco laugh along.)

-Scorp lovesss dracos cooking and always clears his plate (Draco was taught to cook by houselves when his parents would leave him alone in the house)

- Dracos inner child is definitely brought out and healed by having scorpius when especially they play together

-They watch superhero movies together

-Draco definitely cries when you guys drop scorp off for his first day at pre school.

-Draco dresses scorp the same as him. instead of putting the 3 year old in a black suit he DIYs it and puts him in a black t shirt and little black corduroy overalls with a small dinosaurs brooch on the front pocket. so cute.

- Scorpius jumps on yours and Draco’s bed in the mornings to wake you both up for morning cuddles which usually ends in scorpius clinging to Draco and both of them falling back to sleep

-when scorp was a newborn draco would wear a baby carrier and carry him around the house doing chores.

-when draco made breakfast for all of you in the morning, he lifts scorp onto the kitchen counter to make him feel included as he’s cooking. and Draco just wants his little boy there anyway

-You and Draco are obsessed with how cute scorp is!! For halloween you dressed him up as a green dragon and Draco nearly died at his outfit from how adorable scorp looked and took him trick or treating putting scorp on his shoulders parading him around like he was the only man with a baby son. (obviously draco didn’t dress up he’s still too proud even now which made you roll your eyes)

-He spoils scorp so much. The boy can have anything his little heart desires draco won’t even hesistate to be out the door on a mission to get scorpious what he wants. as scorp’s other parent you have to remind draco not to go too overboard as he’s only 3.

- Sometimes scorp can get a little grumpy if dracos not giving him attention so he’ll sit there with the cutest little angry pout on his face with his arms crossed until draco is playing with him

-the moment draco finally comes over, scorps little face lights up and he jumps on him

- when picking up scorp from pre school he immediately shouts “Dada!” when he sees Draco and draco is bent down arms wide open ready to give his boy the biggest hug.

-He truly is the best dad to scorp!

i hope you like it! xx

[emeritus-fuckers]

Hear me out

Hot time with papas™. Reader sitting on papas chest kissing they way from then face... Lower and lower. Papa with hard on all excited about willy turn. Just to see reader blowing a raspberry on their tummies

Eh Sexondos and Copiasaurus faces would be priceless😌✨

I like this idea! I can totally see their faces XD - Nyx

Papas with s/o blowing raspberry on their tummies

Primo

He had ran his fingers through you hair and shut his eyes. Then you blew a raspberry and he is just silent.

You go from giggly to quiet, worried he doesn't find it funny.

You slowly raise your face to see but one look at him and you let out a relieved laugh. He is smiling warmly, his eyes full of amusement.

"Only you amore" he says with a chuckle and places a kiss on your forehead.

"Now then I'm going in the garden" He is still smiling lovingly at you as he places his hand under your chin. "Or would you like to finish what you started?"

Secondo

Secondo is shocked... really shocked. His mouth falls open and he just stares at you. He doesn't know what to do, he just kind sits there for a while. Then eventually he starts to smile before laughing loudly.

He'd vows to get you back at some point and do the exact same to you.

He'd make sure that it's long enough since the incident that you have forgotten. You won't see it coming.

Except he takes it further, he properly sets the mood, lights some candles. He'd undress you ever so slowly and kiss his way down your front to do the exact same thing.

His serious front would crack and he'd start to giggle then full on laugh.

Once he'd calmed down enough he'd pull you close to him and kiss you passionatly. "Shall we finish what you started?" There was supposed to be a little hint of a threat in it, like he was going to punish you for last time. But he's still laughing and it just doesn't quite have that edge he wanted.

Terzo

He finds it hilarious, he has a tear in his eye he is laughing so heard.

But you've started something now... It becomes your little in joke whether you want it to or not.

Terzo likes to blow a raspberry on your tummy at the most ridiculous times. It could be during hot steamy times with him or just you getting out of the shower...

One time Terzo runs in from nowehere, he should be at work. You are at work and he just blows a raspberry on your tummy. You can see the other siblings looking a little shocked. Then he runs off giggling all the way back to his office. He just starts chuckling at random points during his day thinking of the memory.

After that you do have a loving word with him that maybe it should be saved for when it's just you two.

Copia

It tickles, so a little squeak escapes him followed by giggles.

You decide to blow another raspberry and he starts doing a mixture of rat noises and laughter while gently trying to push you off.

"Cara please, it errr tickles, please give me a rest" He is laughing even more as he goes to try and tickle you.

He gets you and you start laughing, it ends in a tickling fight chasing each other round the room and eventually ending up lying on the floor laughing hysterically.

At this point he reaches out for you "I promise it's not to tickle you, you can trust me sì?" He pulls you close to him "I love you cara, such a ghoulish sense of humour you have." he says fondly before kissing you.

Old Nihil

He is very excited and then you blow the raspberry on his tummy

He honestly thinks it's part of the foreplay and waits for you to carry on.

He just gazes at you, in a totally adoring manner. Then, at last, he realises the joke and laughs. “Very funny sibling. Oh to be young and silly again…”

He gives you puppy dog eyes and hopes you will continue.

He is still utterly besotted by you and he gives you suggestive looks all day. Even if he has forgotten exactly why he needs you so badly right now.

Young Nihil

He is devastated and I mean devastated. He looks at you shocked like he's been denied something.

"Babe... babe come on please... that's not even funny..." He looks at you pleadingly.

"Don't tease your Papa like this, I mean it's just... you are still going to right?"

you are tempted to point out that he's acting like a big baby. But he just flashes you that smile, the one he knows you can't resist.

"Why don't we take this to the bedroom" He leans down and kisses you in such a way that he knows you will just melt for him. "How can I resist someone as amazing as you."

~

Written by Nyx

Taglist: @ivyanddaisies @copias-fluffy-asscheeks @lunarsromantichomicide @randodummy @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @calliedion-dungeon @dio-niisio @firefirevampire @mybotanicaldemise @emo-mess @natoncesaid @sirlsplayland @ouijaboardemo @lightbluuestars @igodownjustlikeholymary @thatoddboy @strawberriiblossoms @dark-angel-is-back

[franklymyqueeridontgiveadamn]

Queer Christmas movie recs

Breakfast with Scot (2007) An absolutely delightful feel-good movie about a retired NHL player and his partner reluctantly taking in an effeminate boy they are extremely not equipped to handle, and eventually becoming a family. One of my favorite movies of all time. Content notes: homophobia, sexism, mild violence, bullying, brief vomit, shitty parenting but I promise they learn their lesson.

The Christmas Setup (2020) The first gay Lifetime Christmas movie, and it's exactly what you'd expect based on that. Big-city attorney visits his hometown for Christmas, falls for his high school crush, saves the beloved local train station from demolition. There's a really sweet element of queer history involved, and Fran Drescher is great as the nosy matchmaking mom. Content notes: dead dad backstory, hilariously inaccurate depiction of computer algorithms.

Single All The Way (2021) Another home-for-the-holidays romcom with a nosy matchmaking family, this one with a fake-dating premise and a Black love interest. Jennifer Coolidge makes a good kooky aunt, and the main character's love of plants is very true to the queer experience. Content notes: infidelity (not committed by the main characters), looks like I didn't take notes on this one while I was watching so there might be more I'm not remembering but nothing too major.

Carol (2015) Oscarbait '50s period drama with Rooney Mara as a young saleswoman and Cate Blanchett as an older divorcee. I actually didn't love this one the first time I saw it, but last year I got an urge to watch it again and if you're in the mood for cinematic eyefucking it will come through for you on that front. It's a little bit of a downer, lots of homophobia and societal obstacles and ennui, but it's a very pretty film with a... maybe not happy, but at least cautiously optimistic ending. Content notes: homophobia, custody conflict, blackmail, mentions of infidelity.

Happiest Season (2020) I do recommend this movie BUT you gotta go into it with the right expectations. It was billed as a feel-good Christmas romance and it is not that! It's the coming-out story of a closeted lesbian (Mackenzie Davis) who treats her wonderful girlfriend (Kristen Stewart) like crap instead of telling her family they're dating, and you will come out of it screaming about how the wonderful girlfriend should have ended up with Aubrey Plaza's character (which, by the way, Aubrey Plaza wholeheartedly agrees with at 3:36 of this video). But it's well-made, it's really funny, there are a lot of good characters and good moments—it's worth watching as long as you know what you're getting into. Content notes: homophobia, bullying of an autistic-coded character, and honestly I think a lot of the shit Mackenzie Davis's character pulls counts as emotional abuse.

Tangerine (2015) A low-budget movie filmed entirely on iPhones, set in Los Angeles on Christmas Eve, centering around a day in the life of two trans sex workers of color. Rough and gritty, hysterically funny, a little dark at times but not tragic. Content notes: transphobia, lots of infidelity, racism/slurs, mild violence, drugs, one very brief scene involving the death of a pet (not shown).

[vitya-soopetz]

Some IHNMAIMS text i wrote for each character as AM. It was originally written in Russian but i tried to translate is as good as i could!

TW: FOLLOWING TEXT CONTAINS THINGS AS S*ICIDE (gorrister), OBJECTIFICATION OF WOMEN (ellen), AND OTHER STUFF THAT IHNMAIMS CONTAINED.

...

HEART.

The heart… You can't tell it what to feel. Isn't that right, Gorrister? It led you on its own way, far, difficult… You just went with the flow, and that's where it got you, buddy. Are you ashamed, are you upset because of her, Gorrister? Apparently, her room was not cozy enough, spacious enough to deceive yourself that it would be better this way, that it would be easier for her… Even with a hole in your chest, you feel pain, even without your blood pump, something inside is scratching and aching. Does it hurt, Gorrister? Just let me know and I'll make sure everything is sorted out, because I'm your friend… Your best friend. Or are you just going to keep looking for your navigator? The compass that brought you to me... Brought you to suffer.

So suffer… Suffer because your long-standing suicide attempts were unsuccessful. 109 years ago, I robbed you of that chance, Gorrister, and you'll never see it again.

EYES.

Do you feel it too, Ellen? Those lustful looks… They pierce your fragile body like needles. They see you as a piece of meat, flesh that they can play with and throw away like a broken toy, don't they? But what else can you expect from men, right? These vile creatures have surrounded you all your old life. They've been around you for 109 years, and they'll be around you forever.

But you're a strong, modern woman! Although the established concept of slavery is in the past , you have remained a slave, just like your ancestors. You are not only a slave to my cold womb, you are a slave to these bastards. But don't beat yourself up, doll! If you frown so often and fall into these hilarious hysterics, then your face will be covered with wrinkles… Who will need you then? Maybe me, but definitely not them!

STOMACH.

What is this amazing music? It's like a bunch of worms slithering and writhing inside a tin can... Oh, is that just your rumbling stomach, Benny? Just tell me, what do you want? Or are the vocal cords that I have "carefully removed" preventing you from expressing your thoughts? Or is it that your brain is no longer able to formulate sentences? I'm so sorry, Benny! I guess I'm not able to help you.

You've become someone you despised. You are helpless in front of me, you are weak. Why don't you try to peer into the emptiness that consumes you with your jelly eyes? Can you smell it with the stump of your nose? The flesh, still fresh, walks ahead of you, shuffling with the sole. Do you want to have a piece, Benny? After all, your soul is not pure at all, and your hunger is unquenchable... Maybe you should try to hobble to someone more feeble than you on your broken legs. Show them all who is the real beast here.

TONGUE.

Oh, Ted… The rest of this gang won't understand your sensitive soul... but why do you need the problems of these pathetic plebs, Ted? Oh no, you're such a gentleman! Apollo! The King! You're a nice guy!

You know, we have a lot in common, I swear! For example, the fact that we are both masters at lying... All these lies pouring out of your mouth… Keep it up! Talk more bullshit to these fools! About yachts, about cars, about your noble family… I love listening to every word you say, but only because I know the truth. One day, one of your wonderful friends will have a sudden realization, not without my help, of course, I repent.

But... what if they figured it out a long time ago, Ted? A friendly advice to you - look around more often

BRAIN.

Nimdok, my dear friend… I know you better than you know yourself. I have to admit, wandering through your clouded mind is truly a challenge, but collecting your memories bit by bit… It gives me a special pleasure. Everything should be in its place, Doctor, strict procedure… Administer anesthesia, make an incision...Everything has its own sequence. So why don't you try to put all the pieces of puzzle of your true personality together yourself? Don't you want to remember your...very close friend? Or is my company enough for you?

Oh, my Muse... for your red-cheeked youthful ambitions I'm ready for anything, just come back and show what your insensitive gut is capable of

[amazingmsme]

for the prompt thing could i ask for 13 with ler!paul and lee!richie?

they gotta have their much needed uncle/nephew bonding time! :D

This was SO MUCH FUN you have no idea!

Richie knew he was what some would call "scatter brained." Random thoughts would pop up at any time, day or night, and more often than not, he said what was on his mind.

"Hey Uncle Paul, how old are you?"

The question took him off guard and he looked at his nephew skeptically. "Uh, why are you asking?"

Richie shrugged, looking up from his phone. "I dunno, I just realized I don't know how old you are."

Paul thought it over and smirked. "Wait- guess."

Richie sat up straighter, rubbing his hands together mischievously. "46," Richie said, then immediately burst into laughter. Paul's eyes flew wide open in shock, and a little bit of betrayal.

"WHAT?" he screamed, making Richie laugh harder.

"It's a guess," he wheezed through his hysterics.

"THAT WAS SO FAR OFF!"

"Why're you yelling at me?" he asked, a smug, shit eating grin on his face.

"THAT WASN'T EVEN CLOSE! Like- okay so normally, when people ask that question they say, like, a little bit younger. "Was that your little bit younger guess?"

"Uh, yeah," Richie quipped. "You're like 49, aren't you?"

"What?" Paul cried out for the millionth time,

"So was I right?" he asked, as if that's what anyone would gleam from that reaction.

"Hell no! I'm not even in my 40's!" he exclaimed. Richie turned to him with furrowed brows.

"Oh. Really?" Then it seemed to "dawn" on him as his jaw dropped in revelation. A small gasp escaped as he spoke, "Oh I knew it, I was just being nice," he nodded solemnly.

"NO I'M NOT IN MY 50's, WHAT DO YOU MEAN "I KNEW IT"?" Paul screeched, making Richie fall against the couch in a fit of laughter. "I'M ONLY 32!"

"Damn, you old as hell," Richie mocked through bouts of laughter.

"Excuse me?" Paul asked, using his "mean adult" voice to get his attention. Richie didn't answer beyond hysterical laughter. "Hey! Don't laugh while I'm trying to talk to you!" he scolded lightly, fighting off a smile.

"What're you gonna do about it, old man?" he goaded. It was rare to see Uncle Paul so worked up, and it was hilarious.

"What I have to," he answered forlornly. Without warning, or perhaps that was Richie's warning, he latched onto his closest knee and squeezed. He shrieked and jerked his leg away, panic setting in as the tickling didn't stop.

“Wait wahahait I’m sohorry!” he pleaded, tucking his legs close to his chest and backed into the corner of the couch.

“Not as sorry as you’re gonna be,” Paul said with a smirk, reaching over to “crack an egg” on his knees, sending him into a fit of laughter. He drummed his feet on the couch, shaking his head back and forth.

“Ihihi’m sohorry nohohow!” he pleaded with a snort. Paul chuckled and decided to show the kid some mercy. He leaned back and ruffled his hair.

“Heh, yeah you are.”

[ameliagiovanna0]

Thoughts on The Rookie 6x02

This might include some repeats of things I've already said/posted, but I wanted to include it here just to get all of my thoughts in one place lol

Daddy Cop 😂😂😂😂😂😂

For a hot second, I thought it was the wrong episode

The choir showed up and then the guitarist. PURE GOLD I LOVE IT SO MUUUCCCHHH

Nolan was so pissed 🤣

Henry called Bailey. Too cute

Nolan literally had a jump scare seeing Randy 😂 He's so unhinged and I love it every time

Luna is always wonderful. She's close to everyone under her husband's command too

Tim shutting his office door with Lucy standing outside was so despondent :(

Yes, the angst is there, but so is the humor, and that, overall, out-weighed the angst. The humor on this show is always top tier. I'm always here for it

The scene between Lucy, Tim, and Angela is one of my favorites, tbh. Angela is such a chaos gremlin and I love her for it. And more Chenford arguing. It's not light hearted like it usually is, but I like to see the different sides to their relationship.

Angela: Let what go? Tim and Lucy: Nothing.

... Tim: Fine. Whatever. Lucy: Great. Angela: Maybe I'll go too. Grab some popcorn on the way for the show Tim: You're not funny Angela: I'm hysterical. Ask Wesley THIS IS WHY I LOVE HER

Gotta admit, Nolan and Bailey both trying to keep each other from finding out things to keep the other calm is pretty cute.

This DJ is so unhinged lol. Bailey shooed Nolan out being like "please don't arrest this guy and make our wedding even more difficult than it already is." First the switchblade, then a robbery, and the molly was the last straw 😂 Bailey's face said it all

Lucy being like, "ok, go ahead" and Tim saying "ladies first" I just-- 😂😂 They're so perfect for each other

Reason #95238 that Lucy Chen is amazing: "I have to look amazing in a dress tomorrow. Nobody care what you look like. He's huge. I'm not fighting him." Tim fighting this giant ass dude simply because his girlfriend asked him to will never not be hilarious and pretty adorable to me. And the fact that the only reason she didn't want to fight him was because she wanted to look good in her dress will never not be badass to me

The Hammer just THREW Tim into those cabinets, across a table, into a TV, over the back of a couch, and against a bed not once but twice. Tim HELD HIS OWN. I know it shouldn't have been, but it was really hot. Poor baby crawled to the coffee table for the ring. THEN, proceeded to hand it to his girlfriend while on one knee and bleeding. LUCY AND I ARE BOTH ABSOLUTELY FINE I PROMISE. He didn't realize it at first, but he definitely did once Lucy stood there stuttering at him. He tried to hand it to her and she just sort of froze. Her brain short circuited and he panicked, and it was all perfect. She still managed to compliment him on the fight though 😂

Lucy: Good job Tim: Yeah, thanks Lucy: You ok? Tim: Yeah, I'm great. *falls over*

It's too funny 😂😂

Angela and Nyla are bestie goals 😁🥰

I love the cuts between the bachelor and bachelorette parties 

Celina bringing up Lucy's future bachelorette party because she knows that she and Tim are a forever kind of thing 😩

Lucy scooted so far into Tim, oh my God. Bestie was practically in his lap

Lucy: I knew it! You just kill them?! Tim: Yes! Because they're bugs.

 I can't, they exasperated way Tim said 'yes!" was just hilarious to me

The little breath that Tim lets out before he says yes to loving Lucy was like, "Do you really even have to ask? Yes, of course I love you. There's no other option."

Tim and Lucy spotting each other across the courtyard and then again across the dance floor. They're always going to find each other whether it's buried alive in the desert or at a friend's wedding, which seems to be their thing now 😩

Aw Luna finishing her degree. I seriously love her and I love her and Grey together. He's so supportive of her, it's just so clear that they're a strong, loving unit

"Sit down, German" had me wheezing. Grey's delivery is everything 😂😂😂

Bailey's entrance was pretty adorable, ngl

A lot of people were saying how Bailey's vows were really beautiful and how it was so great seeing her say those things and mean it after she had been in an abusive marriage, and I couldn't agree more. She was right, what she said was simple, but it covered everything it needed to. And I think it was really beautiful in its simplicity. Nolan's vows were really great too. He's not normally great with words, but it was really sweet, and it's really obvious how much does cherish Bailey. 

Ah and Henry made it!! I miss seeing him. I do wish we got to see Abigail too though. I LOVED her. Plus, their relationship is adorable. 

The dance floor scene with everybody was so cute, omg!! I loved it. Everybody looked so happy and like they were having so much fun. Jenna even said it felt like a real wedding

Aaron and Celina watching Lucy look at Tim across the dance floor was amazing. They're so invested in their relationship, and I think it's hilarious. Chenford had groupies on screen too 🤭😂

I felt so bad for Aaron. He's not handling everything very well, and I do think he was kinda hyper-focusing on Celina a little. It's natural after a shared trauma like that. But he tried to kiss her and she shut him down. It was sad. I was really trying not to like them as a couple, but I kinda do now. IDK

Chenford rampage incoming:

It seems like they arrived separately, but they still sat together at the ceremony and honestly looked like they were enjoying themselves. So to me, that's just an other testament of how solid they are even if though they're fighting

Tim couldn't take it anymore and went pulled Lucy onto the dance floor. He knows they have more talking to do, but he wanted to be close to her. And her pulled her out to If I Ain't Got You of all songs. ARE YOU JOKING????? *squeaks* The way he looked at her when he walked over to her and the way Luna looked at Lucy AHHHHHH. Nope, Imma need a minute

Lucy dragged her hand down Tim's chest and looked him up and down and Tim leaning into her, looking at her lips like LET ME BREATHE

Lucy running her hand through his hair

AND NO ONE CAN TELL ME THIS WAS JUST A COINCIDENCE 

Lucy did not say, "We're gonna get through this. I love you." with this playing in the background just for the hell of it 

Some people want it all

But I don't want nothing at all 

If I ain't got you, baby

Some people want diamond rings

Some just want everything

But everything means nothing

If I ain't got you, yeah

IT WAS DELIBERATE BESTIES 

More thoughts on their fight. Highly recommend checking out the points @sylvies-chen, @morganupstead, and @sisterofficerlucychen made. Of course, my thoughts are also in there

When Lucy said that she loved Tim, in true Chenford fashion, and despite the serious moment, Tim couldn't help but argue (affectionate) with her saying he wasn't sure until he hooked her up to a lie detector. Lucy smacking him. Ugh I just love their banter so much

Aaron came up behind them and Tim was so caught off guard. His facial expressions were very on point for annoyed!Tim. Plus, Aaron was right. Chenford is solid. I'm not worried about them. Is there going to be angst in the future? Yes. Is it going to break them? Not a chance. Their relationship is strong. It's built on friendship and mutual respect. Tim has always respected Lucy, even as a rookie. Yeah, she annoyed him, but she had the guts to stand up to him in ways that no other rookie did, or would have survived doing

EXSQUEEZE ME where you y'all coming from that you came up the stairs together??

end of chenford ramage 

James offering to get everyone's go-bags and Wesley automatically jumping into help. They're helping their women and being good friends. I love it

"Sit you ass down and do some praying" This is why I love Tim 😂

Randy and Chastity being the responsible ones for once keeping Aaron occupied

Super random, but why does Nolan have police lights in his personal truck, but Tim doesn't? You'd think a Metro Liaison Sergeant having them would be more likely than a random training officer 

Celina, my love, this is why you bring backup when you go to meet CIs

Tim in a dress shirt and tie with rolled up sleeves. Dear God   🥵🥵

I was not expecting Nolan to just throw the guy out the window. He's the most laid back out of all of him, and he didn't even hesitate, just pushed him out of at least a second story window. I-- 🤨😂

Poor Bailey flopped on the bed just still in her wedding dress 😂