#I'm not certain if I have autism

[queenmuzz]

Autistic Community: Autism is not a disease! We don't need a 'cure'! ADHD Community: I wish I could be cured!

[yardsards]

the true lumity dynamic is just

(luz is the btw and amity is the tbh)

[sciderman]

I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain

Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it

i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)

really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!

undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.

i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.

people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.

peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.

it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."

so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.

people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.

autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.

[thefloatingstone]

You know what's a big problem that i have never seen ANYBODY talk about??

There are so many posts about needing to accommodate people in public who, due to a condition or mental health problem they have, might act out of the ordinary. People who talk to themselves or who have physical ticks etc etc. And the thing is I FULLY agree with this.

The PROBLEM is people who say this always seem to think any kind of nervous or fearful behaviour is ableist. That if you are unnerved and become afraid or just stressed while around them in public then the only reason for doing so is because you are being ableist.

But here's the thing;

I have a generalised anxiety disorder. It is a splinter skill caused by my ADHD. I can function but it is a constant in my every day life that manifests at different levels of intensity depending on what I'm doing. I am extremely lucky that I am not strongly affected by being in large crowds of people.

But you know what DOES raise my anxiety? Interacting one on one with people I am not super familiar with. Hell even people I AM super familiar with, I can be an anxious mess in my head even if I don't show it. Everything I say or how I react is measured in my head to see if I have done so "correctly" and I am constantly watching and analysing the other person's reactions to see how they respond to make sure I have not done something wrong that they might object to.

Now imagine taking THAT level of anxiety that is already amplified by FAMILIAR interaction with people i KNOW and picture how that anxiety responds to interacting or speaking to someone who, due to their own mental health or otherwise condition, behaves in a way my anxiety doesn't know how to respond to "correctly".

My anxiety has a full blown MELTDOWN.

I have had shaking adrenaline reactions to hanging out with someone who has autism who I don't know but am speaking to because they are part of a group I am hanging out with. And because their autism manifests in difficult social interaction, my OWN anxiety has no idea how to interpret how they behave to make sure I am "interacting properly".

It's not because I consciously have a stigma against people with behaviours or ticks. It is literally my own condition clashing with the other person's condition. So even though I may mentally be well aware that this person is not harmful, it doesn't stop the anxiety from just freaking the fuck out because it has no idea how to navigate the social interaction.

As a result, if I am on a public bus and a person sitting near me is talking to themselves or having a tick or anything like that, I may get off the bus and wait for another one. Not to be a dick or because I have some sort of hatred for this person, but because I have an anxiety disorder that is getting triggered hardcore.

I never see this mentioned EVER in discussions about being accommodating towards other people's conditions. And it sucks because it makes me feel like I am a bad person for, IRONICALLY, having a condition that causes me to behave a certain way.

[eclaire-went-bam]

cluster b tumblr how do i bring up to a therapist or anyone really looking into personality disorders

i've been working with people for the past 11 years and nothing has been working and nobody knows what's wrong with me or how to treat/support me. not to mention i have such a problem with continuing to mask in therapy and such to the point where it's liiike highkey comical ??

i've bought it up to my therapist before but she really quickly shut it down, saying she doesn't like labels like that, but i'm getting a new therapist soon and i want this to be a priority just upfront. i'm really sick of the cycles i find myself in

[tittyinfinity]

it's crazy finding out you're autistic as an adult bc then you start to notice the ways it affects you and has affected you throughout life

and then it becomes a hyperfixation bc you're like "omg this makes so much sense now" and you start feeling a bit better about yourself knowing that there's an explanation to everything

[stabbyfoxandrew]

you know what's funny is how i break Me into my ocs.

like i got a guy with backpain, one with depression, one with ocd, one with adhd. half of them are autistic and the other half are adhd

and i didn't like do that on purpose because i created them all before i even know what most of that was :'))

[existencebringsonlypain]

every once and a while I'll be like "but I'm not ACTUALLY super sensitive to sound, right, I can go for three or four class periods before realizing I'm not wearing warbuds, I'm probably just exaggerating it in my head" and then I remember that time I started crying because I was in a loud environment, with earbuds at max noise canceling, and someone clapped nearby. yea no I'm not faking it

[airagorncharda]

I really wonder how many people with chronic depression are actually struggling with autistic burnout without realizing they’re on the spectrum. Since burnout is not fixed in the ways that depression is, even if the burnout has CAUSED depression, that depression cannot be fully addressed without addressing it’s root cause

[clowngore]

anyone diagnosed with a cluster b personality disorder or autism, or something else that affects empathy, want to help me write a paper for my psychology class on hypoempathy?

[le-velo-pour-dru]

Okay you know what. I'll admit it. I probably don't have autism of any kind XD But I do feel a kinship with those who do in some ways <3

[chicago-geniza]

Hung out with my cousin this week and it turns out he runs in post-rat circles and went to vibecamp and found it hysterically funny that I was down bad for Agnes Callard alsjdjfjfnfjfjf

[moe-broey]

Random small talk event at the yard sard set-up, very nice lady, but ESP when asking "Oh are you still in school? ☺️" I literally never know how to say "Oh I graduated a long time ago. Yeah. I mostly do art now" and she says "Oh to sell?" and so far I'm having a reasonable and effective small talk conversation, when I hit that pitfall and lock up and I worry I'm becoming unfriendly bc I locked up. Because I REALLY don't know how to say, "Nah, I kind of do fuck all. I'm 25 and I do fuck all. For nothing." Like I can see the conversation tree in real time and I know that's the worst dialogue option. And there are no other dialogue options there's just Press B to get the fuck outta there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[some-pers0n]

hi i rlly hope this doesnt come off as weird or anything but its kinda surprising to me that you’re a minor considering how mature and well-written your posts are!! again im genuinely sorry if this feels rude, i just assumed you were an adult at first judging by the way you speak

Wuagaywgagh yeah nah that isn't weird Anon lol. I've been mistaken for being in my 20s a handful of times, even when I was younger. It ain't rude at all. I'm just a lil' wordy lmao. If anything you're vindicated for it

[leaf-miner]

I remember as a teenager feeling like I was the only person in the world like me and being really depressed about it. Then I found out other asexual people existed shortly after I became an adult, was diagnosed with ADHD and autism and started to question my gender all around the same time. And I was so indescribably happy to not be unique, but still, I felt kind of out of place. With so many differences from the norm, there aren't that many people out there like me overall, right?

What I didn't realise at the time was how often these things co occur. And how these things have contributed to shaping my interests and hobbies. And I've seen so many people who are asexual or nonbinary and also happen to have ADHD or be autistic or both, just like me. And often they have interests like mine too, and other similarities to me. And it makes me so happy every time. I'd love to send a message to my past self and say to hold on, look around, there's actually a lot more people like you out there than you think :)

[aliasl]

thinking a lot about Ryan (the boys) - Jack (supernatural) parallels

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THE BOYS SEASON 4 FINALE

everyone obviously has strong feelings about Ryan killing Grace. sadly, i've only seen a lot of vitriol towards Grace for pushing Ryan into killing her... And it's Jack killing Mary all over again.

Grace is scared and has waaaaaaay more awareness of the current danger than Ryan, whereas Ryan is not objective about Homelander and is not understanding what's politically happening, all the bloodshed about to happen. Yes, Grace overloads Ryan with truth bombs about who Homelander is and is asking "too much" of him... but Ryan is not justified in killing her. Full stop. His life was not at risk. His AUTONOMY was. But he was face-to-face with his honorary aunt, who took him in and housed and clothed and fed him, crying, confiding her grief, expressing her love, visibly fearful and hesitant... and Ryan had to shut off his empathy to kill her in that moment.

And it's fiction! So, to serve the plot, this straw had to break. Ryan has gone from accidentally killing his mother in an effort to save her to then killing an honorary family member on purpose. Much to chew on; how did this sweet little boy get to this place? ... But people would rather spit out the story trying to be told (how radicalization happens, how how seemingly good people can be driven to selfish/evil actions, how power corrupts, and so much more) in favor of spewing misogyny. "she fumbled the bag!" "stupid hag got herself killed!" Immediate forgiveness for Ryan ("who among us would have acted any differently in that moment???" they cry), pointing all the blame towards the woman girlbossing-gaslighting a poor widdle boy.

Like... It's the same story again, as far as the vitriolic response to a woman "getting herself killed" by standing her ground/reaching out to a dangerous child. but i'll say it: THESE WOMEN DID NOTHING WRONG. the answer is not "let the dangerous, overwhelmed child walk away." the tragedy is that these women held out hope that their dangerous children wouldn't lash out at them when they reached out. they had trust. Ryan/jack didn't trust back. they rejected. they shut off their empathy.

now, Jack had his journey and we've seen him go the path towards redemption. but it's really awful to see Ryan kill Grace with no apparent sense of guilt and just walk away, and the only audience response i've seen is blaming either Grace or Butcher for RYAN'S ACTIONS.

and it's just not very heroic to refuse responsibility for one's actions. in a show about morality and redemption vs digging one's heels in and rejecting culpability, I really hope the boys pull off their morality tale and those uncritical of Ryan will learn better.