#I've never really wanted a party for my birthday since... a bit after my parents separated?

[asavt]

Oh shit ten days until my birthday

[frantic-fiction]

Happy Birthday

(Gif: Alistairs)

Prompt: The gang throwing Spawn Astarion and Redeemed Durge a joint birthday party 😭

Credit to @bauldersgrave69 for letting me use their idea. Hopefully, you like it.

Astarion x F!Reader (Mostly Gender neutral but reader does wear a dress)

Warning: None. No spoilers just durge's memory lost and violent tendencies. This is pretty much pure fluff.

Word Count: 3.1k

It's been almost a year since you found yourself aboard a mindflayer ship, forcibly shoved into an adventure - one with life-changing choices. Choices that left you with a family not bonded through blood and torture, but one of trust, acceptance, and a chance to change something in yourself that you didn't fully comprehend when you woke up in that pod.

And the most important piece of the puzzle is currently walking next to you. As close as appropriate in public, moving away from the waterfront, Astarion would occasionally drop kisses on any exposed skin he could reach. But for the most part, he was content to hold your hand in his, just happy to be with the love of his life.

It was your date night. After the chaos had died down, you and Astarion had established this weekly tradition. Neither of your previous lives before the tadpoles allowed for much personal exploration or relaxation. The dates aimed to help take back both the agencies that had been torn away violently by cruel masters.

It was Astarion's week to choose the activity. He decided to push his boundaries just a bit and go dancing - not the stifling ballroom dances Cazador demanded be performed during various public events. No, Astarion wanted liveliness, drinks, and a wonderful band.

So, he bought a lovely pale yellow sundress from a stall by your apartment and added his personal style, ending with a beautiful garment - swirls and intricate patterns embroidered as accents. Donning himself in a dashing doublet, dark greys, and black accented with a similar shade of yellow.

The blushing mermaid was brilliant, the band jovial with pounding drums, and excellent lute and violin playing. Drinks were shared until heads were fuzzy. It took a bit for Astarion to work up the courage to dance, but he quickly offered his hand. The moment it was offered, your drink was down, and with a flushed face and a smile, you took his hand and pulled him to the dance floor.

The rest of the night was spent spinning and dipping until you were dizzy. You had never really danced, and if you had, that memory was lost and not worth finding. At times, you would stumble into a spin or out of a dip, but Astarion was always there to make sure you stayed on your toes with a firm hold.

When the energy of the night waned down and the band began to play a slower tempo, Astarion didn't hesitate to pull you flush against his body. His coolness was a pleasant contrast to the stuffiness of the mostly crowded tavern.

Astarion bent down to kiss you below your ear, whispering, "I don't think I will ever run out of thank yous."

"For dancing with a handsome man, I can say it was tiring but I'm having fun." The word is still a foreign concept, but one you and Astarion have become incredibly good at together.

"Yes, this night has been the best dancing I've done in years." You card your hand through his curls; his hand trails the curve of your spine. "But my thanks go beyond tonight, with you, my love. I have felt - you see I..."

Words seem not to be able to grasp what Astarion wants to say. So, he simply smiles and captures your lips in a kiss. Not everything needs words to express.

****

"My sweet, I believe we forgot dear Evelyn's oranges."

You had just entered the neighborhood where your house resided. It wasn't anything big; neither you nor Astarion liked the idea of a big space with rooms that would stay empty and cold.  

Thankfully, you came across Miss Evelyn, a sweet elderly gnome who owned a multifamily home. Her son had sadly died when the Absolute took Baldur's Gate. His wife and child went back to her parents, leaving Evelyn with a lot more space than she needed.

Astarion and you rented the upper portion of the home. The rent was cheap and you wish to pay more, and when you tried to explain just how much wealth you could spare, Evelyn shut it down immediately. She said that her price was fair and all she needed to make it for herself.

There was no room to argue after that, so you and Astarion took it upon yourselves to help her in any way she would allow - like getting oranges.

"I'll run out early before she wakes. Eve won't even notice."

"If you try to throw me on the chopping block again, I will not be making any cookies for a month."

"You would never!" You gasped, clutching your chest in dramatics.

"Don't tempt me, darling; I can be very stubborn." He said this, holding the gate to the property for you.

"Star, you know how her disappointed look makes me feel," the gravel crunched under your feet, the porch light to the house breaking through the dark.

"Yes, well, you'll just have to hope she made her bedtime." He kissed your cheek smugly and walked ahead, taking the stairs two at a time.

His shoes hit the wood boards of the porch when you heard, "Oh good evening Evelyn dear, I do have to apologize; my love completely forgot to get you oranges. By the time I realized their mistake, the vendor was already gone for the evening."

Handsome fucking asshole. Hands bunched up the skirt as you followed up the steps. He is going to have quite the time having any post-date fun with the way he's playing.

Making it to his side, Evelyn's in her chair, a basket of walnuts beside her. She didn't say anything for a moment, leaving only the crickets. Grabbing a walnut, she placed it on the table and slammed a hammer you did not see, cracking the shell before popping the flesh into her mouth.

"I figured, you two never get the things I want when it's your date night. Whatever, just get them tomorrow; your visitors gave me these walnuts so I'm not too bothered." The words were jumbled between almost toothless gums and walnut bits. A few pieces flew outwards with trails of spittle.

"Visitors?"

"Yeah, that little ragtag group you got. The bald one gave them to me. Told me something about 'Boo' thinking it would be polite since I let them break in and all."

Astarion and you met eyes, confusion reflecting each other's. Why was Minsc here?

"Did you plan something?" You asked.

"No," Astarion quickly turned to Evelyn, " I hope our little friends haven't been too much of a bother. Have a wonderful evening, my dear. Your oranges will be in your fruit bowl come morning."

He grabbed your hand and made for the stairs to your floor. Evelyn simply grumbled "They better be, pointy," before slamming the hammer down again.

You started to pull Astarion faster up the remaining stairs. But as soon as you reached for the door, Astarion halted you with an arm snaking around your middle. His mouth captured yours in a kiss, fast and heavy before you could even speak.

You melted. It's automatic, instinctual. You sigh carding you finger in his hair tugging on the roots. The orange incident quickly forgotten and the heavy annoyances with it. Not even the question of why your friends have broken into your home during date night mattered. His lips were gone too soon.

"I don't know about you, my sweet, but I believe our little weirdos have been very rude to us." He breathed into your ear before giving it a nibble. You nodded slightly, pulling his face to your neck. The he scrapes his fangs against you throat and you gasped

"I think they should have learned by now that I like to keep you to myself at night. And on our lovely date night, where you have been teasing me all night with this garment."

He pressed your back roughly against the door. The hinges whined against the force. You kiss him again, feeling his leg press between your legs. "And how am I to know that I shouldn't be ravishing you right here against this door."

"OKAY, OKAY. WE GET IT, ARESHOLE. DON'T INTERRUPT DATE NIGHT," Gale yelled.

"Maybe the next time we think about doing something nice for you two shits, I'll remember to bring earplugs," Wyll followed.

Astarion stepped you both back fully on your feet. "Maybe this time they will finally learn." Placing one last soft kiss on you cheek, he fully pulled away and moved to open the door.

You couldn't say what you had expected to see walking into your home. But this was not it.

Bright colors of balloons cluttering the floors, strings of paper tossed haphazardly around your living room. Your dining table is scatered with wrapped gifts and a frosted cake.

Each of your companions stood, all staring at Astarion and you, a mixture of disgust, excitement, and boredom (though that was mainly Lae'zel, who stood brooding in the farthest corner with a purple cone on her head). Oddly, they all had pointy hats tied to their heads. Even little Boo.

Scratch, who with all the excitement of seeing all of his friends back at his home, had begun to use his as a chew toy. Minsc pleaded with him to stop and seemed to be having a three-way conversation between the dog, Boo, and himself.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Karlach screamed as if the words had been burning in her mouth for hours. This had each and every one of your companions repeating the same phrase.

The shocked and confused looks Astarion and you shared must be very evident because Wyll was quick to jump in. “You both shared with us not knowing when your birthday was, so we’ve all decided what better time to celebrate than the start of our journey.”

This had Astarion's hand tightening in yours, his posture stiffening. Your heart hammered against your ribs, tears brimming over, trickling down flushed cheeks.

You don’t deserve this. The little voice echoes, the same voice that chokes you at night when you lay crying in Astarion's arms as he helps you calm from a panic attack. These people. This beautiful, caring family you stumbled upon was too good for such a broken, tainted person like you. To even think about this, planning a party with cake and presents simply to celebrate you and Astarion just living another year.

Him you understand; you had already been silently planning something similar for him for months. But it’s Astarion. The man who saved you, the one who reminds you each day that you are loved and safe and no longer the puppet of a cruel god. Yes, Astarion deserves to be celebrated and showered with gifts and affection. But you? The same person whose hands are stained so red with blood you still can’t comprehend the full extent of your depravity. No, you don’t think so.

"Well," Astarion’s voice cracks, and he takes a shaky breath, clearing his voice. "I guess being the center of attention for the night should make up for postponing my plan to bend my beloved over the cou-"

This snaps you out of your self-deprecation. You clamp your hand over his mouth loudly saying, "Thank you guys; this is… well, this is just perfect."

You rip your hand away when you feel the wet glide of Astarion's tongue and the scratch of a fang. "Seriously," you groan, wiping your hand off on his chest before stepping away and walking up to give out your first of many hugs.

****

"You cheated, you fucking bastard!" Astarion points accusingly over the coffee table, glaring at Gale. "I can sense a spell; you're not as clever as you think, wizard!"

You rub his arms, silently telling him to chill but shooting a glare of your own at the man. "Not to mention Karlach is not a very good actor," you say bluntly, causing the tiefling to scoff in offense. "You know I love you, Kar, but you have never been a good liar. Gale, if you won't play by the rules, I won't be responsible if Star gets violent."

Getting up from the couch, you peck Astarion's cheek and collect the pile of dessert plates. Astarion stands to start his turn of charades, beginning to mime out his word as Gale, Wyll, Karlach, and even Lae'zel tries to guess. Though Lae'zel only seemed to guess various ways to harm an enemy.

Minsc has himself in a deep talk with Boo. The two sat close to the bay window where Halsin and Jaheria had found themselves in a game of chess. By the looks of it, Halsin was winning, and Jahiera was none too happy.

Placing the dishes in the sink, you quickly wash the cake crumbs and frosting off. You carelessly toss each on the drying rack, Astarion always hated when you did dishes always complaining of the many chips you keep putting in the ceramics. 

Once done, you walked up to Shadowheart where she was dividing the small pile of presents into two.

"Thank you," you said softly, catching the half-elf's attention. It had come to light that Shadowheart had been the one to bring the idea up. "This has been more than I ever expected."

"We're family," was all she said. And you guessed it was all that needed to be. Just a simple act of love for two people in a large, slightly dysfunctional family. You move automatically, practically tackling Shadowheart into a hug.

"This means more to Astarion and me than we'll ever be able to express." The two of you don't mention the hoarseness in your voice. And if Shadowheart felt a few tears drop on her collar, she doesn't say.

She simply hugs you back just as tight. Once you break away, Shadowheart calls for everyone to gather for presents.

It's a novel concept to open gifts while everyone stares on, waiting for expressions of happiness and thanks. It's awkward, and both Astarion and yourself share the feeling of being out in the deep end. But it's kind of fun.

You open boxes to find books and painting supplies (a hobby you picked up after you saved that rather stuck-up painter from the Zhentarim last year.) But the best is a medium-sized portrait of the party together, something you've been begging everyone for months to do. It's beautiful, and you are already thinking of the perfect location to hang it up.

Astarion receives new embroidery supplies, a shiny new dagger, and a small box. It's black velvet, and when he opens the hinged lid, a plain-looking copper band sits in the middle of a makeshift pillow.

Never one to hold his tongue, Astarion cheekily says, "Oh how quaint, look at this darling; doesn't it look just like the magic ring the tiefling boy tricked you with."

You shoulder him, and he laughs. "Actually, it's a bit more magical than that little trinket; we went to a lot of trouble for that thing, so hush," Jahiera scolds.

"Oh then please regale us with the story of this mysterious gift," Astarion smirks.

"They call it the Sunwalker's gift. It's a rare magical artifact that protects a person from light sensitivity," Shadowheart says.

It doesn't process for Astarion right away, but your breath instantly catches. You freeze in shock; how in the hells did they find this? You thought it was just a legend.

"Gale got a lead, and long story short, it's real, it's here. Fangs, you can walk in the sun mate." Karlach smiles bouncing on her feet, her flames flickering a bit brighter in her excitement.

"However, it's not perfect. You can still succumb to some effects of your hypersensitivity. But the ring should allow at least a solid 8 hours of sun exposure." Halsin quickly adds.

Astarion doesn't take his eyes off the ring. His pointer finger smooths over the tarnished band. He swallows dryly, blinking back tears as quick as they come. "This… this" he's lost for words, and no one rushes him. They all know. "Thank you, will you excuse me?"

He's gone before anyone can react. There is no judgment; everyone knows strong emotions are not something Astarion can process anywhere but alone or with just you.

"This is amazing. I'm pissed you didn't let me in on this surprise, but from both Astarion and I, thank you all." You motion for a hug and they all pile in. 

Astarion doesn't return, but no one expects him to. The party wraps up quickly after that; everyone says their goodnight and departs into the night. You lock up the house and retreat to the bedroom. He sits by the window, staring out into the silent city. He's shirtless, his pale skin ethereal in the moonlight. The ring dances across his knuckles absentmindedly, his chin in his other hand.

You make your footsteps purposefully loud as you approach the vampire. Your hands snake themselves around him, caressing his smooth skin of the chest. He catches the ring and turns his face to meet your eyes. You push some hair out of his eye. He's been crying.

"Hey handsome," you smiled, kissing his lips. He turns towards you. Pulling you on to his lap and cups you face. There's no rush to the dance of your lips. Just soft brushes and tongue caress. You pull away panting. 

"Gods, I'll never get tired of this."

"Good cause I'm quite smitten with you." You grab his hands, taking the ring from his palm. You slide it onto his left ring finger, the magic tightening the metal to fit perfectly. You press a soft kiss to it sliding off. "Now come; I want to cuddle."

He helps rid you of your dress, slipping on one of his shi in replacement. You both slide under the sheet, Astarion pulls you onto his chest, strong arms enclosing you. Your head is tucked under his chin. He presses a kiss to your hairline whispering I love you.

You play with his hand, taking it off and putting it on each finger, watching it shift to fit each one. It was quiet for a while. Both of you are just soaking in each other. 

"Our family," Astarion says quietly, his chest rumbling under your ear. You drop his hand and look up. He has a look of pure love. "The term has been one that has only caused me pain for 200 years. To think I would find a new one that could contest 200 years of shit is…pleasant. Something I didn't expect to have again"

You smile brightly, grabbing his face and pressing your lips back onto his. "We really lucked out, didn't we. Now how about we get some sleep, and in the morning, we go get Evelyn's oranges together."

He doesn't say anything for a moment, just running his hand down your spine, stopping at the swell of your bum and back up again. He kisses you again. "There is nothing I'd like more."

Feedback is welcome and always makes me smile, hate does not! Have a nice day, cheers!

[ecoamerica]

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[luveline]

maybeee if you’re feeling like it, eddie and r disagree over some parenting decision for roan and r doesn’t really wanna overstep but it’s something she feels passionate about

thank you for your request my love! dad!eddie x (nearly) stepmom!reader — tw mentioned child abuse (NOT graphic imagery, not enacted, just mentioned)

You don't think Eddie's mad at you, which is good. He hadn't said anything he couldn't take back, things you'd worried he might; I'm her dad, (with an unspoken not you) is the most passionate thing he'd said. It hurt some, but it's irrefutable. He's her father, her primary caregiver, and he makes decisions when it comes down to it. 

He didn't say and you're not her mom, but it had felt implied. Just a bit. 

Loving her like your own, it's natural to want the best for her. Natural to have opinions on how she's taken care of and the things that she should do. Things got heated too quickly, that's all. Or, that's what you're hoping happened. 

Stacy K's mom said hey, would it be alright for Stacy to invite Roan to a slumber party? She wants one for her birthday, and she wants Roan there most of all. 

And you'd been surprised at Eddie's immediate agreement. Sure, Roan would love to come.

He picked Roan up and you parted ways with Stacy K and her mom, and you were quiet, unlike yourself, stomach churning because you knew you'd have to speak up, which you hardly ever do. Hey, Eddie?

He noticed your strange expression. What?

Is that a good idea? … Stacy's slumber party? 

Why wouldn't it be? 

It devolved from there. You tripped over your words, trying your hardest not to start a fight with Roan in the car, and Eddie took it the wrong way —or maybe he didn't, maybe he took it the right way, and you'd made a mistake. Your concerns had come across as doubtful of his ability to look after Roan. It makes sense that he took offence. 

You shouldn't, but you worry for a second that this will be the end, that Eddie can't abide by what you've said, and he's going to pack up and leave. You know he won't do anything of the sort, he's loyal and caring to a fault. He wouldn't hurt you so badly over one fight. He's making you nervous is all, sitting next to you quietly. It's not the cold shoulder, that’s never been his style. It's just… quiet. 

"Do you want something, sweet thing?" he asks as he gets up from the couch. "I'm gonna make Roan ants on a log." 

"It's been a really long time since you called me sweet thing," you say, sending him a tentative smile.

"You're sweet, you're my thing…" He licks his lips. "Not my best." 

You uncross your legs, reaching out for him before he can leave to the kitchen. "Listen, I'm– I'm sorry that I made you feel like you're doing something wrong. Sorry I overstepped." 

Eddie sits back down slowly. He swallows. "I'm sorry I shut you down. I guess I was offended." Eddie shuffles a little closer to you. "I mean, I was offended. But," —he speaks as though he's piecing his sentence together with the utmost of care— "you're Roan's mom." And he takes your hand. "You have been for a long time. I'm sorry I made it sound like you overstepped. You can't overstep. How can I be mad at you for one aspect of being a parent, when I'm happy for you to do the others? But I need you to understand that I've been doing all of the big stuff by myself the whole time, until we met I was doing everything by myself, and it annoyed me that you might think I didn't know best… 'n' that's not fair on you, 'cos I don't always know best." 

You aren't expecting it. His explanation or his easy apology. 

You look down at his hand over yours and breathe a sigh of relief. 

"I think…" You pause. When you speak, it's stilted. "Okay. I think it's a bad idea for her to go sleep over at Stacy's house when she doesn't have the words to tell us if something happens." 

Eddie's lips part. 

"That's what I wanted to say, before, not just that she's so young. And I actually do think you know best, Eds. You're a good dad. A fucking good dad."

You can see him thinking about what you've suggested. He rubs your knuckles. 

"She is a little young," he concedes. "She might not even want to stay the night when she realises what that means. But we could teach her if she does, she knows that people aren't allowed to touch her without her say so." 

"I know," you say. You're about to say more when Roan herself steps into the living room, walking at an unbothered pace. Her hair is dishevelled but besides that she's in clean jammies and clearly quite content.

"Hello," she says, a piece of paper in her hands. "I thought we were having ants on logs?" 

"Yeah, babe, I'm gonna make them right now. What have you been drawing?" 

She shows you the drawing. It's the three of you as most of her drawings are, with antennas and carapace bodies. It's gnarly. Eddie loves it the second he sees it, and he insists on putting it onto your already stacked fridge. 

She basks in the feeling of being loved and revered, and then basks again when Eddie gives her a plate full of ants on a log, chewing with a massive grin. 

"I really meant what I said," he murmurs to you, you and him hip hip by the kitchen sink. 

"Which part, handsome?" you ask. 

"She calls you mom. You’re her mom. You don't have to be sorry for having something to say to me.

You look him up and down without malice. He looks incredibly earnest, a little sheepish. His cheek is soft when you lift your hand to it, and he's eager to lean into your palm. "It wasn't about that," you say softly, hushed so Roan doesn't hear. "I promise it wasn't." 

"I know. I just hate that it's what I made you think." 

"So we're okay?" 

"We were always going to be okay, what did you think?" he asks, hand on your hip and pulling you stomach to stomach and chest to chest.

"Just worried."

He looks over your shoulder at Roan. You turn with him. She's kissing peanut butter off of the tips of her fingers with a delighted smile and air about her. 

"Talk about it more tonight?" he asks. 

His promises are always good. You talk about Roan's potential slumber party in bed that night after she's been tucked in, and you both say more sorries for your misunderstandings. It's weird to argue with him, but you're thankful it was about something that mattered, even if that something is scary to think of. 

"Thanks for thinking I'm a good dad," he says, cheek turned into the pillow, the tip of his index finger tracing lightly over your face in no one direction. 

"That's not something you have to say thanks for." You're in much better spirits now, speaking with confidence. 

"You're the one person who would know," he says. 

"That's not true. People only have to talk to Roan to know how good you are." 

He laughs a huff that kisses your skin like a warm breeze. "Did you really think we wouldn't be okay?" 

You laugh nervously. "I mean, no. It went through my head, but I didn't actually think it was the end, babe. I'm not that stupid." 

"You're not any amount of stupid, stupid." 

You laugh in his face. He puts his hand over your mouth with wide eyes but it's much too late. You stare at each other, mirrors of a fond defeat as footsteps sound down the hall. 

"What is so funny?" Roan asks, half-guilty 'cos she knows she should be in bed and half plain curious as she cracks open the bedroom door. 

Eddie sighs. It's not an unhappy sound. "Come and lie down with us and I'll tell you." 

She grins and rushes in. 

—

more eddie, roan and reader

[woodchipp]

You have a lot of thoughts about the topic, so what ideas/suggestions/other input (if any) do you have for an Omori rewrite?

Ideas? I have way too many. I've outlined some of them here and here (in a very disorganized manner), but I've thought up a lot of new ideas since then. I recommend to check the linked posts first, but I'll try my best to recap some of the ideas from the posts I've linked in this post, if you don't mind!

Long and most likely incoherent rant incoming.

1) Make Mari actually kill herself, of course. I really did like the game's initial premise of this young kid and his friends trying to deal with the loss of a beloved relative/friend before The Twist, so I'd cut The Twist and try to keep the story straightforward in that aspect. Perhaps that could've made Sunny a bit more sympathetic since he'd get to be the victim of circumstance the game evidently wanted people to see him as and allowed the story to explore Mari as a full character instead of reducing her to the typical saint for everyone to revere and cry over.

One could try to make the suicide itself the plot twist, though. Maybe the sight of Mari's hanged corpse could've been so incomprehensible to the 12-year-old Sunny he'd just pretend to have never seen it in the first place (his mind would block it out) and instead convince himself that Mari happily left for college with Hero. Maybe Sunny mentioning her to Hero or asking him about her after he comes back would make the latter pause and then change the subject of the conversation in a neat little bit of foreshadowing. Besides, a good chunk of the original game's foreshadowing for its twist already pointed to suicide, so why reinvent the wheel?

I insist on this idea in particular because it's tragic, it's horrifying and, most importantly, it's realistic - it's everything the game strove to be. Realism-induced horror is one of my favorite "genres" of horror, and I think OMORI could've had a great shot at exploiting said trope to its benefit were it not for The Twist.

The biggest problem with that sort of plotline, I think, would be Basil. His importance to the game's story relies on The Twist; without it, he has no reason to be there. I woudn't want to cut him altogether, but I can't think of an organic way to insert him into the "Mari kills herself" plotline either, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

2) Make Sunny and Mari's home life horrible lmao. I've already talked about it here and in the first linked post, but I'll reiterate myself - you don't grow up into a strict perfectionist or with self-esteem as low as Sunny's (the game very clearly implies Sunny had self-esteem issues even before he killed Mari) by partying at your besties' birthdays and hugging plushies together. Problems like that tend to be caused by a dysfunctional home.

Yes, the "abusive parents" trope is rather overused nowadays, but I'd still consider it somewhat of an improvement over the complete lack of information about Sunny's family pre-Mari's death. I also think it'd have been quite interesting if the game explored how the toxic home environment the two were born into would inform their personalities. That way, the recital argument would be less "why is Mari so mean 2 me 💔" and more the result of their issues boiling over.

Tying into this idea is the next one.

3) Make Black Space a recollection of Sunny's backstory a la Time's Arrow. Long story short, Time's Arrow is an episode of a show called Bojack Horseman that stands out to me due to the way the featured character's trauma is subtly conveyed without sacrificing story - the flashbacks are mostly coherent, but filtered through the character's emotional perception of the events at the time. The best example of this is a formative memory from the character's childhood, in which she sees her father callously throw her beloved toy into the fireplace before warning her to keep her emotions in check and telling her not to cry. The fear she felt at the moment infuenced her memory of the event, represented by the aforementioned fireplace becoming a wall of hellfire.

I think such an approach would've been a great fit for Black Space as well. Not only would this allow the player to get some real insight into what made Sunny the way he is, his memories being filtered through his emotions would allow the game to characterize him (e.g. the sash bars on his house's windows could be made to look like the bars of a prison cell to imply he felt trapped in his own home). This could even allow the game to show us the big argument itself!

4) Make Kel, Aubrey, Basil and Hero characters instead of props for Sunny to interact with. The story should've examined their issues too. Hero and Kel have some workings of interesting conflicts (e.g. Hero's outburst and how it affected Kel, Hero struggling with relating to the friend group only as their "dad", Kel's status as the unfavorite sibling), as do Basil (his parents and the abandonment issues stemming from them, his general relationship with his grandma) and Aubrey (see the second linked post), but none of that is elaborated on by the game in favor of focusing on Sunny and his (w)angst. Delving into their issues would've been way more interesting for me than listening to them go "man I miss my wife Tails Mari ;A;" over and over again, at least.

5) Make the game's timespan longer. 5 or 10 days instead of 3 would allow the game more room to get through the other characters' arcs before shifting focus to Sunny for the finale, I think.

6) Make Faraway Town a bit larger. Make it wackier, too. There's four streets, a church, a park and a supermarket. There's nothing to do in this town at all, which isn't good since it's where the player spends a good chunk of the plot in. The NPCs and their sidequests are equally cookie-cutter - buy a grandma her medication, tutor some kids, play hide-and-seek with the twins...

It'd have been nice if the main story's subject matter was juxtaposed with the sidequests being as batshit insane as realistically possible. "Realistic" doesn't have to mean "boring", IMO. Real life can be fun!

Tying into this idea is the next one.

7) Lock the good ending behind 100% completion of all the Faraway sidequests, probably...? It's one of my weirder ideas, and I don't know whether it'd be feasible since I'm not a game developer lol. But I think the game could've tried to make some sort of point about how Sunny managed to make headway in working on his issues only because he made the effort to socialize with people who weren't his comfortable circle of friends.

I don't know what to do with Headspace. Really. The general concept of a saccharine dream world created to avoid reality is nice on paper, but it's a big tumor on the plot - it contributes next to nothing to the player's understanding of Sunny or his friends and becomes entirely irrelevant halfway through the game. I guess I'd make it shorter?

[haitaniapologist]

❝  you’re looking at me but you’re not seeing me.  do you know how that feels?  just see me.  please.  ❞ with a Mitsuya that thinks you don’t feel anything for him but in reality you love it so much it hurts? 🥺 please?

Congrats on the milestone!!!!!!!!!!!

NOT STRONG ENOUGH.

pairings — mitsuya takashi x female!reader.

warnings — fluff, a tiny bit of angst because it's friends to lovers.

word count — 1.5k

notes — happy birthday mitsuya my beloved!!! also, im sorry for the other requests i've ignored to write this, but soon i'll reach to them i swear dsghasd

tagging — @tooweirdforyou @1900-aria @etheralyonn @rayfuyu @chronic-claire-universe @aqualesha @winterv-black @softbajis @dai-tsukki-desu @aftermxxn @danceafternoon @sureconfused @sanzuhachoo

takashi couldn’t be more grateful to his friends for remembering his birthday, and throwing him a surprise party. if he had the reins of what his birthday would be, he would probably spend it alone, working on a new fashion project and, probably, gathering everyone to celebrate it on the weekend. 

he didn’t suspect anything when you appeared in his atelier, all smiles and silly antics, even though he knew you had college classes on that day. you said you had taken the day off to spend the day with your best friend — and takashi really tried to not be bitterwith your words, because he wished he was more than just your best friend. he had been in love with you since middle school, when emma brought you to a toman meeting because your parents were traveling, and she didn’t want to leave you all alone in your house. but he appreciated the gesture, and was even ashamed when you paid for his lunch at a well-known, and quite fancy restaurant. you two were broken young adults, but you dismissed his worries with a beautiful smile on his face. 

when you two arrived at his apartment — after an afternoon laced with laugh and subtle touches from his side — and everyone screamed ���surprise”, he tried to pretend to be mad at you, but the sheer happiness dripping from your eyes from seeing takashi looking so happy stopped him in his tracks. 

that, and chifuyu’s arm on your waist. 

he swallowed hard before draken took him to engage in a chat with pah and peh, who wanted to know everything about his new project. but his lavender eyes kept glancing back at you, and how happy you seemed to have chifuyu touching you, and now he wished nobody did anything for his birthday. he wished everyone had forgotten about it, even his mom and his sisters, who were chatting excitedly with hina about her plans to her future wedding — takemichi just proposed, after all. 

everyone said he was a crybaby, but he was far braver than takashi. 

he was supposed to yank chifuyu’s arms from your waist and take you somewhere else, tell you about his feelings for you and make you his. but he would never interrupt your happiness — and if you found it with chifuyu instead of him, what he was supposed to do? he was your best friend, and he would do anything to see you happy. even though that meant stepping back and ignoring his feelings until they were just the ghost of the flame they were now, watching as how chifuyu was going to do with you everything he dreamed about. 

takashi continued his chat with his friends and former gang colleagues, even if his chest seemed to be bleeding from inside-out. 

draken gave him a curious look and he tried to brush off his best friend’s thoughts with a smile — and soon hakkai joined their small circle, and for a while, takashi forgot about you. however, when he excused himself from his friends to give his sisters and mom a kiss on their checks and spend a few moments with them, he saw it. 

chifuyu had his hand on your cheek, and it seemed he was leaning down to give your lips a kiss.

takashi thought he was strong enough to see you fall in love with someone else and not be bothered about it — your happiness always came first than his — but that was too much for him. he changed his path with quick steps to his room, and nobody seemed to notice it. 

but your eyes were on him, the entire night, and you promptly excused yourself to see what happened to him. it was takashi’s birthday, and you hoped nothing happened to make him sad — you deduced that from the frown on his face and the way he rushed down the hall to his room. 

you knocked twice before turning the doorknob, heart beating fast. you would use that opportunity to give mitsuya his birthday gift, and you hoped he would love it. draken said he would, and you trusted him — after emma’s death, he seemed to be adamant in playing matchmaker with you and his friend and, while you were grateful to his doings, you knew takashi only saw you as his female best friend. and that was fine with you, until you saw a model flirting with him, and you noticed that you weren’t strong enough to witness him falling in love with someone else other than you. 

“‘kashi?” you whispered in the darkness of his room, the bedside lamp beside his bed the only source of light inside it. he was sitting on his bed, head low and shoulders trembling — and a gasp left your lips as soon as you noticed he was crying. 

nobody was supposed to be crying on their birthday. 

you hurriedly sat beside him, hands encircling his shoulders to bring his head to rest on your chest. you wished you could feel his pain for him — nothing hurt more than seeing takashi suffering, and you wanted to fight whoever made him feel this way. but who could’ve done it? he was just chatting with the boys before he went to his room. was he feeling overwhelmed by the party? did something happen before you went to his workplace?

“what happened?” you asked when he calmed down, his hands gripping your waist as if it would be the last time he would feel your skin beneath his fingertips. 

he stayed in silence for a few moments, before getting up and freeing himself from your hold. you missed his warmth already. 

“you’re looking at me but you’re not seeing me.” he started, a bit uncertain, afraid to end something he cherished like nothing else — your friendship. 

you tilted your head in confusion, not following his line of thinking well. before it hit you. was he upset because of you and chifuyu? but he was only making sure you didn’t have anything strange on your teeth. “do you know how that feels?” the desperation in his voice wasn’t like anything you ever saw, and to know you were the cause of it made you punch yourself. “just see me. please.”

you saw him. oh, how you saw him — but the words weren’t coming to your mouth, and you watched as his eyes became dull of any emotion from your lack of answer.

takashi knew he shouldn’t have said anything. you didn’t feel the same, of course, and now he ruined the only thing that he couldn’t live without. “forget i said anything.” he smiled down at you, a pained one, and he knew he needed to get out of his room before he broke down in tears again. “i wish you and chifuyu the most happiness the world can offer.” 

he felt like a robot walking to his door, and when his hand was already at his doorknob, your voice stopped him. “why do you think i would be happy with ‘fuyu?” your voice was small and you felt like a child trying to ask forgiveness for their parents. “when i am the happiest when i’m with you?” 

your words paralysed him and his brain shut down, thinking that it was a dream and that in reality you were disgusted with him from being jealous of your new boyfriend, but your warmth on his back — arms around his torso and head nuzzled between his shoulders blades — brought him back. 

“i see all of you, takashi.” you started again, gasping when he turned in your hold, hands cupping your face. you felt embarrassed with how intense his eyes were. “how could i not? you were everything i ever wanted since i was thirteen.” 

you two stayed in silence for a few minutes, enjoying each other’s presence and the lightness of not having to hide your true feelings anymore. it was good, having takashi’s warm hands on your cheeks and tracing your lips, like you ever dreamed about — or, on his case, being able to touch you freely and having your arms around him not in a friendly way. 

“can i give you your birthday present?” you whispered, and blushed under how captivated by the way your lips moved he seemed to be. 

“of course, my love.” 

you giggled at the pet name and takashi smiled, a faint red color on his cheeks. he still couldn’t believe that what was happening was real, and not just a product of his imagination — it would be cruel to wake up alone on his bed after basking in your warmth for longer than normal. 

your hands traveled from his torso to his shoulders, one cupping his jaw and bringing his lips closer to your face. “happy birthday, takashi.” you whispered against his lips, before pressing yours to his, in a sweet kiss that you only thought it would happen in your dreams.

[gojou-violin]

omg do u have any more ideas for alpha!kaccan and alpa!todo???

OMG *YES*!! I'm planning on planning on posting more to that headcanon I wrote based on the manga spoilers oops-

but as for the kinktober thing i posted today, this is what i've got:

you have to kiss bakugo first. he's so stubborn and scary with other people, but for you, he's so gentle and cautious because he doesn't want to hurt you or scare you off since he's been trying to court you because he really thinks that you're his mate.

when you kiss him for the first time, he tries to do the right thing by parting from you while telling you that you don't have to--

but once you're committed, he can't stop himself either.

when shoto scents you for the first time, it's very romantic. like, disgustingly cliche, that's how romantic it is.

he probably knew that it was inevitable after you guys had been hanging out at his place for so long, so to make the first time you guys scented each other perfect, he sets up his bedroom to be dark with a candle next to his bed, and he lays down with you while asking, "can i hold your hand?" "can i kiss you?" "is it ok if i get on top of you?" "can i scent you?"

he wants it to be perfect and consentual, because if you're going to be his, he wants to know that you think he's perfect for you.

if you're not ready, then he'd never force you to do anything. he's just not that kind of guy.

when he starts scenting you, he melts into your neck and moans while grinding against your thigh.

he can't help himself. he's so driven by his Alpha instincts.

"i think you're perfect."

bakugo and shoto are very protective Alphas, as i've established a lot hehe. but can you imagine how protective they'd be of your kids???

bakugo would be the kind of dad to be like, "oh, you want to go on a playdate? interesting. i need the kid's name, social security number, address, etc. and i need to know the parents personally for at least 10-15 business days before i make my decision." poor kid just wanted to go biking around the block.

shoto would be the "mini-van mom" type of dad. driving the kids to and from school every day, taking them to all of their sports while cheering them on, even during practice when it's embarrassing, taking snacks to school events, planning birthday parties for the entire class, being a driver during field trips, etc. he'd be very hands-on with his kids and their interests. and he'd be the only person who could defuse bakugo when he gets overprotective and a bit crazy.

bakugo and shoto would show you their appreciation for their kids by stealing you away for a weekend for a break whenever you needed it. every mother's day they'd bring you gifts and gifts and gifts. on your birthday, they force the kids to make you cute dinners before they get sent to their friends' houses for sleepovers so that the adults can have some alone time...... you know... to work on more kids.

kacchan loves to take care of you when you're pregnant. he loves to share night shifts with shoto so that you can sleep peacefully during the first few weeks. he loves holding his omega in his arms when you're upset about how many damn kids are running around and that you're overwhelmed from having to do so much all the time. he loves kissing you when you're helping the kids into the car to head to school. he loves holding your hand when you go on family walks around the park for some daily exercise <3

lol i should stop now-- my b....

[ecoamerica]

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[creampuffqueen]

soo if you dont mind me asking, do you know when or why you started coming to some kind of realizations that you were bi (or possibly lesbian)?

i have lived my entire life convinced im straight but after some things i realized that i may be bi. But i dont know. i dont think im a lesbian but i also know im not fully straight, you know?

please don't answer if this too personal or uncomfortable, i dont want you to answer anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. you can totally ignore it.

I saw your post about talking things through with your friend recently and i'm really happy you were able to have that open conversation with someone you trust about yourself, despite what your label or sexuality may be ❤️.

if you do choose to answer this, thank you in advance. i appreciate it.

of course i don't mind you asking!! honestly i'm very flattered and honored to be asked this as i'm certainly no expert on sexuality or anything like this, but it makes me happy that my blog is a safe and welcoming space for someone who has these kinds of questions!

so, here's sort of a quick and dirty rundown of my sexuality journey. (i ended up putting this under a cut because it got a bit long whoops).

for starters, i grew up in a christian household in a small, conservative town in the middle of nowhere texas. my parents are far from being fundamentalists or anything, but they just... never spoke about other sexualities. i didn't even know being gay was an OPTION until i was about 12.

in middle school, many of my friends began to discover/experiment with sexuality and gender labels. i never really did, i always felt content and comfortable with my attraction to boys. (or, due to recent realizations, my supposed attraction to boys. but we can touch on that later).

then, some time around when i was 12-13, i had an Experience that made me begin to question things a bit.

i was at a sleepover for a friend's birthday party, and after a long night of fun we all fell asleep in her living room in our sleeping bags. i was the first to wake up in the morning, and in order to not wake anyone else up, i stayed in my sleeping bag and played video games on my phone. at one point, another girl woke up, and since we were the only two awake, she came and sat next to me. i didn't know this girl too well, she was a mutual friend of the sleepover girl. but at one point, in order to better see what i was playing on my phone, she crawled inside the sleeping bag with me.

and i just remember feeling warm all over as she laid next to me. i was struck with the sudden desire to pull this girl close and cuddle with her. i don't remember anything else about that sleepover except this one moment early in the morning.

i went to school the next week and spoke about this with one of my friends who knew they were queer, saying that i thought i might have a crush on this girl and wondering if i could possibly be bisexual.

and... my friend told me that no, i didn't have a crush on this girl, i clearly just wanted to be Really Really Good Friends with her. obviously. comphet hits even the queer middle schoolers, apparently.

and so after that i was like 'okay then you're the expert! guess i don't like girls :)' and then literally didn't think about it for the next 2-3 years.

time jump to 15 year old Mal, stuck inside during the Covid Summer of 2020 with nothing to do. my brother and i decided to watch Avatar: The Last Airbender for the first time together to pass the time. i saw Suki on screen for the first time and felt something in me Change.

i've always had fictional crushes, you know? but nothing like this.

and as all well adjusted gen-z kids do, i made a bunch of memes about it. at first they were all jokes. just, 'lol, look how much i love this fictional character'.

but after a while i began to realize that i wasn't exactly joking anymore.

so there you have it folks, suki from avatar made me like girls.

but even after this realization, i still wasn't exactly comfortable with calling myself bisexual. i went by queer for a little while, before eventually settling on bisexual. now, ATLA was my first introduction to the world of animation. i began to watch a ton more animated shows after finishing it, and in all the shows i often found myself more drawn to the female characters than the males. don't get me wrong, i still enjoyed those characters, but i was OBSESSED with the girls.

and after i went back to school in person, i did begin to notice that what i originally thought was just wanting to be friends with girls was running a bit deeper than that. i had my first real girl crush (i stopped liking her after she trashed the legend of korra to my face though).

and that was my life for the last few years! i was very happy with being bisexual, and i am very lucky that i have such a supportive and accepting friend group. coming out to my friends was so easy and i've never been worried they wouldn't accept me, which is great.

and now, for what has led me to believe i might possibly be a lesbian.

i got my first boyfriend my senior year of high school. he was an absolutely wonderful guy. i've always been pretty 'picky' when it comes to men. i get crushes very easily but if a guy starts to reciprocate then they have to meet this high list of standards i have composed in my head. and this guy met them all.

by all accounts, i should have been SO happy. like i'm not even exaggerating when i say that this boy was basically perfect. he treated me so well. my friends and family adored him.

and yet, something just didn't feel right. i started to get very nervous about being alone with him. i started getting annoyed whenever he texted me. i started avoiding seeing him, avoiding having him come over. eventually it got to the point where i decided i just had to end things, because something was off with me and i didn't want to string him along when he deserved better. i broke up with him and didn't shed a single tear.

everyone was pretty confused, but eventually got over it. i thought that perhaps it was just a fluke. it was my first real relationship, maybe i was just nervous.

but then it happened again this year in college. i met a great guy on a dating app. we had fun together, he was really nice and respectful. we never made it official, but we spent enough time together it was basically a relationship. and then, again, when everything should have been going well i started feeling the same things as before. anxiety, annoyance, avoidance. i broke it off with him over text and felt relieved when it was finally over.

after that, i began to consider the possibility that i was never attracted to guys in the first place. i lost sleep over it, i was thinking so hard.

and then i thought to myself 'i don't think people who are attracted to guys have to think this hard about it'.

so since then, i've been entertaining the possibility that i might be a lesbian. it's still a journey, and i'm working on being okay with the in between stage i'm in. i don't want to put a definitive label on myself until i've been with a girl, which isn't something i've had the opportunity to do yet.

and that's sort of all the major events in my life that i've had in regards to my sexuality!

i hope this has been of some help to you, anon! i also just want to add in some reassurance as well. sexuality can be a complex thing, so don't feel the need to rush into a new label if you're not ready yet. everyone's journey is at their own pace, and you're not 'less' bisexual if this is something you've only recently discovered about yourself!

i wish you all the luck with your self-discovery, anon! and my inbox and dms are always open if you have more questions!

[thebiscuiteternal]

teeny ficlet inspired by the "world's first unmanned flying desk set" scene from Dead Poets Society. can be read as sangcheng if you want.

----------

When the disciple at the gates gave him an uncomfortable, sheepish smile and told him that she was going to be the escort for the students returning to Lotus Pier, not either of his parents, it had stung a little bit.

Even Jin Guangshan had bothered to show up, if only to be a smug prick about Jin Zixuan having made fifth in the grade rankings.

Then the disciple perked up. "Oh! But they did send a graduation gift!" she said before rifling through her sleeves for a small box.

For the short moments it took for Jiang Cheng to unwrap and open it, he cheered up as well.

Then he realized he recognized the contents.

He'd seen this same calligraphy set before, at Wei Wuxian's birthday party last autumn. The tools were even decorated in his shixiong's preferred colors.

Only... they weren't...

He closed the box and plastered on a smile as he thanked the disciple -it wasn't her fault, after all- but as he walked back to his room to finish packing his things, his heart dragged on the ground behind him.

Even when he'd managed to do something Wei Wuxian hadn't -even if his grade wasn't as high as Wei Wuxian's would have been if he hadn't been sent home, at least he'd finished the classes, and with decent grades!- it wasn't good enough to actually get a gift of his own.

Just an inferior copy.

Like him.

Before he could open the door, someone bumped him from his left.

"What's with the face, Jiang-xiong? We're finally headed back to the lands of real foo- what's that?"

Jiang Cheng sighed and opened the lid to let Nie Huaisang see. "My graduation gift."

Nie Huaisang leaned over his arm, then frowned. "But... I thought you don't like- oh."

Jiang Cheng shut the box with a snap, but before he could pull away, Nie Huaisang slipped a hand around his elbow, expression of sunny cheer back like it had never faltered.

"What time are you supposed to leave?"

"Not until morning. We'd mostly be flying in the dark if we left now."

"Same here! We were actually supposed to leave already, but Da-ge got tied up with an incident on the way, so he'll be arriving late. Which meeeeeans we've got time for our own graduation celebration!"

"Nie-xiong-"

"Come on!"

Though he really just wanted to be left alone to soak in his downcast mood, Jiang Cheng allowed himself to be half-dragged towards the lesser-patrolled buildings near the back hills.

Jiang Cheng had never actually been to the roof of the chosen building before, though he recognized the spot as one Nie Huaisang liked to sneak off to.

As soon as they sat down, he could immediately see why. "Wow. How many of these sunsets have you painted?"

"As many as I could without getting caught or rained on," Nie Huaisang replied with a grin, pulling a qiankun pouch out of his sleeve.

Jiang Cheng was unsurprised when out of that came packages of sweets and salty snacks, the smell of roasted meat prominent from some of them, and two small jars. "Not a fan of the illustrious Emperor's Smile?" he asked dryly when he saw the label.

"Eh, I've always preferred nongxiang to qingxiang whenever I've been allowed to have a sample of either at banquets. Don't tell Wei-xiong, he'd be heartbroken."

Jiang Cheng snorted, then accepted one of the jars and tore the cap off. "To graduation?"

"To getting out of here!"

They'd worked their way through most of the food and alcohol when Nie Huaisang nodded to the box that had been plaguing him since he'd opened it. "What're you gonna do with that?"

"Dunno. Don' wanna think about it."

Nie Huaisang gave a considering hum. "Why not just toss it?"

"Pretty sure that's... unfilial or something. Rude, at least." He was also pretty sure chucking stuff off the cliffs was against Lan Rules.

Okay, no, he knew it was against Lan Rules.

"Pft. I bet they won't even notice it's gone."

True. It hurt for it to be put so bluntly, but... it was true.

"And I bet it'd make you feel better."

It was really tempting.

Damn tempting.

Too tempting.

A bit unsteady from the alcohol, he hefted himself to his feet and picked up the box all in one half-boneless motion, then straightened. As Nie Huaisang cheered, he reared back and then pitched the box into the open air with all his strength.

The lid popped open as it flew in a long arc downward, the contents scattering free to disappear amongst the trees.

Maybe it was just the alcohol in his blood or the enthusiastic encouragement, but he couldn't deny that watching them go was satisfying.

[gggoldfinch]

the first time I wrote this my laptop crashed halfway through and deleted everything and I started sobbing. here we go again, part 2, I'll try not to have a fucking stroke:

(Also not to be weird or unkind but pls don’t read/like/reply to this if you’re not a follower or mutual of mine. I trust my regulars and mutuals, some y’all that blow in on the wind scare me …)

here’s a little personal ramble about me discovering(?) my neurodivergency (with a sprinkle of childhood trauma) (I lied it’s not a sprinkle it’s a backhoe full) because I just had a fucking MASSIVE epiphany while sitting here doing nothing. Feel free to read idc, I just need somewhere to put this since I don’t have a shrink, and maybe some y'all will relate, considering we’re all a bit touched in the head here. This is a blog and I’m finally treating it like one lmao

a little context: I had somewhat severe epilepsy from age 4-5 that seemingly had no cause, and went away on its own. yay. 

so, on to the topic at hand. My family had numerous stories about how I used to get seriously SERIOUSLY overwhelmed/ overstimulated as a child— so much so that on one particular occasion I hid in a basket of toys in my bedroom during my own birthday party until my mom had to make everyone leave early. Needless to say I was labelled “a handful.” My parents always blamed these outbursts of overstimulation in social settings on my epilepsy (even though this behavior continued after my epilepsy cured itself), saying that it made me tired, irritable, easily overwhelmed, etc. But now as an adult, knowing there is a fairly decent likelihood that I have not only adhd but autism too, this makes much more sense. Side note: my parents refuse to believe their child could be neurodivergent (among many other bigoted things their child could not be)—they shoot me down whenever I propose the idea, calling me silly—so it’s likely that bringing me to a specialist never crossed their minds, considering they didn’t want to consider it and I didn’t portray the “traditional symptoms” of neurodivergency that were known about in the early 2000s. 

all this being said, yes, I just had that epiphany while sitting here on my couch and was like. oh. damn, that kinda makes sense now, looking back through a different lens. It’s always been here, apart of me. It’s always been with me. And realizing this kinda makes me a little sad. I have all the resources at my fingertips now as an adult to learn about all the ways my behavior has been misinterpreted throughout my life. All the times when I refused to let my mom brush/touch/style my hair, when I'd only eat the same favorite foods, why I was SO obsessed with pacifiers, why I would lash out and get overwhelmed and torment everyone around me. I understand why now, and it strangely makes me feel so sad and alone.

I feel like I’m always mourning my childhood and the loss of it (crying rn lol, a tear fell in my mouth). I was friendless and bullied for 9 whole years of my life, throughout my entire elementary and middle education. My grandparents, who were my best friends, died 15 months apart and I never got proper closure, and am still in mourning over a decade later. I was diagnosed with several life changing diseases when I was just a poor dumb kid and it virtually stripped my teenage years to their bare bones. I had good times, I did, but you don’t often remember the good times, do you. I remember feeling alone, overwhelmed, and so so so different for so many years of my life, and not understanding why. I really do think my childhood ended when my grandparents died when I was 10, because after that ushered in the mental and physical health problems, and still, no comfort in peers until my late teens. Even when I finally had friends in high school (not the same friends from high school that I've talked about here, mind you), they would tease me; laugh when I’d slip up verbally, or when I was slow on the uptake, even if I asked them to stop. I’d feel overwhelmed and isolated, but I'd suck it up because this is what friends do, despite this being exactly what my merciless “friend” bullies did in middle school. 

Now I realize that I always had the right to be overwhelmed and angry that no one understood why— my symptoms of neurodivergy came in a “gifted kid” box, with hyperfixations and poor social skills abound. Now Ive got gifted kid burnout and explanations for my younger self. I understand why I sometimes felt like I needed to peel off my skin if I felt overwhelmed (still do lol), why kids didn’t want to be friends with me and thought I was weird, why I was so susceptible to teasing and why I couldn't stand up for myself, why I always pretended to fit in even though I and everyone else knew I didn’t. 

I think I deserve to grow more now, knowing all this. I know I’ve done and said a lot of stupid shit I'm not proud of, and I know it may be a copout to blame it on not being entirely sure how to navigate social situations or on kids being mean little bastards, but I sincerely think I've grown as a human just by realizing it hasn’t all been my fault like I've told myself for so long. I didn’t drive people away as a kid, I couldn’t help it if I acted out when I was overwhelmed or overstimulated or humiliated— I didn’t want to put my mom through hell when she too was young and overwhelmed with having her first kid. But that’s all behind me, and I think that knowing now where it likely all stems from, I should these experiences to get to know myself a bit more, and take care of myself. Forgive myself. 

okay now that I've cleared my sinuses with that hearty sob sesh... 🤷🏻‍♀️

[monogatcri]

TAGGED BY: @erabundus ( thank you, sweet bean! ) TAGGING: whoever hasn't done this! I'm late to the party.

1. WHAT IS YOUR NAME?: ❝ Niwa! Nobody has ever really referred to me by my given name since my parents ; they're the last people who spoke it without the attachment of our surname. ❞

2. WHAT IS YOUR REAL NAME?: ❝ Niwa Hisahide, a pleasure to make your acquaintance.  ❞

3. DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU’RE CALLED THAT?: ❝ I received it for my birthday? ❞

4. ARE YOU SINGLE OR TAKEN?: ❝ I'm not on my own, if that's what you're asking. I'm not romantically involved, but I am not alone.  ❞

5. WHAT ARE YOUR POWERS AND ABILITIES?: ❝  As it stands, I am powerless, ❞ which is a partial lie, considering the delusion he keeps beneath the collar of his shirt as a means to avoid others noticing its existence. ❝ However, this doesn't mean I am lacking in skills with the sword ; I've trained with it my entire life ever since I could walk. ❞

6. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?: ❝ Brown. Haha, I guess...they're not as cool as some eyes I've seen... ❞

7. HAVE YOU EVER DYED YOUR HAIR?: ❝ This is all natural! I know, it's hard to believe but I was born with this red streak in my hair, and it's never come out -- and it continues to grow! ❞

8. DO YOU HAVE ANY FAMILY MEMBERS?: ❝ As of now, I only have one family member remaining from my past, but I am in possession of a descendant. They are my everything. ❞

9. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?: ❝ I do wish I could have one, but I am not able to watch over something that requires attention as much as an animal will. ❞  he'll gladly spend his time with any that come near, petting them and enjoying their presence.

10. TELL ME ABOUT SOMETHING YOU DON’T LIKE: ❝ Bitter things. ❞  the sheer sensation on his tongue makes his entire face scrunch up like a paper unfolded after being crumpled up. It's horrible! He'd rather be stabbed again than deal with a second of that revolting flavor! ❝ I also hate doctors from the Fatui. ❞

11. DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES OR ACTIVITIES YOU DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?: ❝ I've lost a way to really contribute to a majority of my old hobbies: playing the flute, bladesmithing, performing true kenbu, but...I do have the ability to practice sword fighting, calligraphy, drinking tea to pass the time and some...singing. ❞ last word uttered in near inaudible whisper.

12. HAVE YOU EVER HURT ANYONE BEFORE?: ❝ Intentionally, unintentionally, and not of my own consent. ❞

13. HAVE YOU EVER… KILLED ANYONE?: ❝ More times than I wish to count... Killing is not a source of my pride, but there are times when you cannot avoid it when you have people to protect. ❞

14. WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL ARE YOU?: ❝ I've always felt connected to the kitsune that wander about around Tatarasuna ; they were known to enjoy the company of strangers and, at times, people would say they were here to watch over us from the Lady Guuji herself.  ❞ Of course, that felt contrived and absolutely untrue with how the past turned out.

15. NAME YOUR WORST HABITS: ❝  I work until my fingers ache far too often, but once I've got a task in mind, I am remiss to cease working on it until it's been completely completed. ❞

16. DO YOU LOOK UP TO ANYONE?: ❝ ...No, not anymore. ❞   All those he had ever looked up to were dead and gone, memories that wouldn't really serve to benefit himself if he continued to tilt his head back to them ; they were worthy of being honored, but he cannot look up to those of a stagnant nature. Perhaps, there is one, but he doesn't feel right uttering the name aloud to strangers.

17. GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL?: ❝ I like everything.  ❞ bisexual king.

18. DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL?: ❝  I've always dreamed of attending the akademiya, but that's not a dream so easily obtained for a bladesmith from Inazuma... Plus, I've heard some horror stories about the scholars, so I'm a bit wary. ❞

19. DO YOU EVER WANT TO MARRY AND HAVE KIDS SOMEDAY?: ❝ I've technically already been a father -- I was a father before I was a father as well, haha. Of course, if I could have a second chance at having a child again, I'd love to ; Hoshi wasn't raised by my hands, so I hope that, if I were to have another, this one will have a parent they can know never will abandon them... ❞ Because both of his other children thought he had, so a silent fear radiates within that there could always come a third opportunity.

20. DO YOU HAVE ANY FANS?: A laugh, boisterous and unrelenting -- fans? him? That's honestly too much for someone of his status to conjure up any mental image! Imagine: people cheering for him and speaking his name in praise! ❝ I'm not someone who is worthy of fans! ❞

21. WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF?: ❝ Everyone has fears. I'm not certain which of mine take precedence over the other... Perhaps: am I a danger and this second chance is only meant to cause pain to others? I am grateful to breathe oxygen, to touch grass, to explore lands I've never seen, but I can't say I'm convinced my revival comes without strings attached. ❞ 

22. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY WEAR?: ❝ This outfit! ❞ Hand waves over himself in dramatic gesture, then he grins, ❝ Do you like it? ❞

23. DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE?: ❝ I love what I have left of my family... ❞ Romantic love? He's never felt what that's like, however.

24. WHAT CLASS ARE YOU?: ❝ Sword. ❞ Sansaku of Isshin Arts! He'd have to bow his head in shame if he ever put down his blade for any other weaponry, even if he has crafted others from orders.

25. HOW MANY FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE?: ❝ ... ❞  ...How many did he have? One? Two? Several? It's impossible to tell...

26. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON PIE?: ❝ I'm going to be disappointed if you finish this question and there's no pie -- ❞ he may or may not be glancing about, silently praying there is one. Once he notices there isn't, his mouth goes into a noticeable pout. Rude.

27. FAVORITE DRINK?: ❝ Tea, the sweeter the better! ❞

29. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE?: ❝ My favorite place no longer exists. ❞ It's turned into a village of ashes and cretins.

30. ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SOMEONE?: ❝ A little bit. ❞ For murder's sake.

31. WOULD YOU RATHER SWIM IN THE LAKE OR THE OCEAN?: ❝ The ocean was always closer and the memories of it are more present in my mind. ❞ Sentimental.

32. WHAT’S YOUR ‘TYPE’?: ❝ Type of what? ❞  Of sword? Of art? Of food? Of wordplay? Of theater? Of --

33. ANY FETISHES?: ❝ You lack decorum... Refrain from inquiring that again. ❞

35. CAMPING, OR INDOORS?: ❝ Indoors for safety. Outdoor camping is a risky maneuver for anyone not acquainted with an area they're in: wildlife and bandits are not kind to the unprepared or unfortunate. ❞

36. ARE YOU WAITING FOR THIS INTERVIEW TO BE OVER?: ❝ ...Thank you for your time ; it was mostly a pleasure, until you asked about my sexual preferences! ❞ It's clear that he's ready to end this, the overstepping of boundaries indicative to his reasoning.

[layanasstories]

If not in this life time...

----

Come away with me in the night, come away with me and I will write you a song. Come away with me on a bus, come away where they can't tempt us with their lies.

And I want to walk with you on a cloudy day, in fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high. So won't you try to come.

Come away with me and we'll kiss on a mountaintop. Come away with me and I'll never stop loving you.

And I want to wake up with the rain falling on a tin roof, while I'm safe there in your arms.

So all I ask is for you to come away with me in the night, come away with me.

- Norah Jones

---

Part 10

It's been about three weeks since the wedding, three weeks since the car ride where I told the whole story of my past. And since then we were kind of inseparable. Yes, we had times when he or I needed some space, because it just got a little too much. We kept to the agreement, and it worked. We said it when we got a little too short of breath. Or if we needed each other more. We talked about everything. I feel happy, happy with what we have. We don't give it a name, although we live by all the standards of a relationship, so we might as well call it that. I don't really care, as long as it stays as it is now, I'm happy. Perhaps something could change over time. Like, that I can wake up every day next to him. But those are dreams for later, not for now. For now, I'm on the bed in the motel room we booked. It's Lilly's birthday and we're invited to celebrate with her and the group of friends. I've met everyone before when Thomas and Hannah moved. The only one I don't know yet is Richy. He always seems to be busy with his work, rather than with friends. I just don't understand why it bothers them so much. Maybe I'll find out this weekend. The party is tomorrow and we'll be here all weekend.

It does feel weird being here in this motel, in this town. The last time I was here was with my parents, if I don't count the moving day of course. Besides the fact that I find it a bit strange and uncomfortable, I am curious about what my parents liked about this town. When I was a kid I liked swimming in the lake the most. But now that I'm an adult, I'm curious if I can see what they saw. Maybe that makes me feel like they're closer to me than I've felt until now. "How come you're so lazy, shouldn't you unpack your bag?" I am startled out of thought when Jake walks into the room with a grin. "I've already done that, it was so much that I just had to lay down." I smile back "What are we going to do tonight? Do you have plans?" I ask because I have some ideas myself. "No not really" he replies. "Great, then let's have something to eat in the center and then see if a bar is open." I suggest. "Sure, I know a nice bar" he shrugs as if he doesn't care.

We had decided to eat our dinner at a restaurant near the marketplace. It was simple, but the food tasted good, extravagant is not necessary for both of us. After dinner we walked to the bar that Jake knows. It was a short walk to the outskirts of the town, through a alley. The entrance of the bar is half way up the alley. To my suprise it's a local pub, lots of regulars. The decor is somewhat old-fashioned dark, but with a modern touch. An older man is behind the bar, which I believe is the owner. Another guy our age, full of tattoo's and long hair, walks around serving the drinks with a tray in his hand. The moment we sit down at a table the guy with the tray comes our way. "Hey cutie what can I bring you? 'Sex on the beach'?" he does not wink at me but at Jake. "I would really like that and can I braid your hair afterwards?" Jake gives him a seductive air kiss. "You know nobody can touch my hair! Thanks for ruining my mood!" the guy gives Jake a sad look. At that moment, Jake stands up and pulls the man into a tight hug. "Hey Phil, how have you been?" Jake asks after they let go of each other. "Good. Haven't seen you in a long time" Phil looks my way with a amusing smile "Is she the reason? I thought we had something!". "Stop it dude! You know it can't work out between us. And yes, she is the reason indeed." Jake pauses briefly, "Phil, Layana. Layana, Phil". Phil holds out his hand and I do the same. "Hi Phil, nice to meet you" I say. "It sure is." he says as a way of greeting. "Well what can I bring you?" he continues. "A beer for me" Jake looks my way "For me too please." I answer Phil.

When Phil has walked back to the bar, I look at Jake waiting for an explanation of what just happened. "Phil and I go back a long time. You know I grew up here. Phil didn't join our class until third year of high school and we clicked right from the start. After I found my way into the computers, Phil saw an opportunity to work for Michael with the hopes of taking over the bar someday. He did that a few years ago, and Michael works for him now in the weekends. Actually he already is retired but he loves his bar." I see a big smile forming around his mouth. "Good memories?" I ask him with a smile. "Yeah, those were good times.". Through the memories we get into a conversation, about his time here in this town. About all the pranks they'd both pulled, that they've always been there for each other, to this day. But because they have both gone in different directions in life, they don't see each other that often anymore.

At midnight we decide to end the evening and make our way back. With his arm around my shoulders and my arm around his waist, we walk to the motel. Along the way, an idea suddenly occurs to me. "Jake?" I ask to get his attention. "Yes?" he answers me without letting go or looking my way. "Well, what do you think about travelling?" I ask my question quickly because I don't want to change my mind. "Depends on where and what we're going to do." he casually gives his opinion "I don't like baking on the beach or by the pool. Yes swimming is nice, but I don't like wasting my time hanging out all day.". "That's good, because that was far from what I had in mind." I gently squeeze his side. "Okay, what did you have in mind?" he sounds a little more cheerful, as if his curiosity has been aroused. "I want to go to Varanasi, in India." I let out a sigh "I don't like the trips to islands where there is a party every night and day. I do like a party from time to time. But for big trips, I want to see the world, I want to get to know cultures. And I think India is a good start." I explain to him. He is silent for a while, then clears his throat. "Of all the places you can think of, I didn't see this one coming. But India seems very beautiful indeed." he pulls me even closer to him "So, maybe you should start making a plan."

[xxlethal-lunaxx]

Okay so I never really had birthday parties growing up, I had a couple when I was like under 8 years old but other than that I didn't have much parties. I would have some decorations at times but what I always had was a cake and dinner of my choice...my parents never had much but with the little money they had i always had my cake and dinner.

In childhood I loved my birthday routine, I would head to toys R us after breakfast and get my birthday crown and balloon (back when those were a thing) then I'd pick out a toy of my choice.

Sure I wanted birthday parties like the rest of my siblings got but when it came to money my parents didn't have much especially since my birthday is in December, they had Hanukkah/Christmas to worry about (my dad grew up Jewish and wanted to share the joy of the holiday with me and my siblings)

Besides I didn't even have much friends, my siblings and I shared friends and I usually wasn't a first choice to people....friends always had something going on or plans when it came near my birthday. It would make me sad at times but I had gotten used to it, I was happy to just have my family and birthday routine...that still didn't take away the feeling of wanting a party like all the other children.

I would ask sometimes to have parties but my parents would talk to me saying how it wouldn't work out, they did their best to make me happy but there'd be years I would receive 1 gift and I was so thankful to have anything. I had to be their strong girl, I was the oldest...I had to be strong, I had to make sacrifices for the family and understand it was for the better. I learned from a young age that the youngest came first and that I had to be mature enough to understand. All I wanted was for us all to be together and having that peace was enough for me. It was either birthday party/lots of gifts for me or Christmas for everyone....I knew I couldn't be selfish, as a child it can be hard to understand but what choice did I have...I wanted the best for my family even if it meant I couldn't be like the other kids.

When I was 15 my grandma and mother asked if I wanted a quinceañera, of course the idea was exciting cause it would be the first birthday party I would have had in years but I took alot of time to decide on it. I felt alot of anxiety build up because I had become more introverted over time...and my so called "friends" at the time didn't even care to text or reach me...so I basically had no friends at all. I also considered the religion aspect, typically hispanics which celebrate this holiday are catholic and I myself wasn't. Sure I was baptized as a baby but other than that I never did anything regarding the church but my grandma was so set on me doing the church stuff and getting the blessings cause it wouldn't have been a "real" quinceañera if I didn't. (According to her).

It had to be early fall 2019 when I was inside a store with my mom...maybe a Marshalls or Rozz "dress for less" but anyway we were shopping and we got onto the topic of whether I'd go with having a quincea or not and when she reminded me about the blessing I told her right there that I'd turn it down because I didn't want to involve myself in a religion if I wasn't serious about it, not to mention the social anxiety of the whole church viewing me. However I did ask her if it was okay to have a sweet 16 instead, she told me it was fine and that at least we'd have time to prepare....well, things don't always go how we want it in life. As 2020 came along so did covid, the news and everyone talking about the dangers were frightening and most people just stayed indoors and didn't have parties. So I did not have a sweet 16, and it was a bit hard to cope with the fact that I wasn't going to, for once it wasn't my parents fault. I remember feeling upset that things never went my way and that covid ruined everything, I chilled out pretty much that day and stayed on the swing in the yard, listening to my favorite screamo songs.

I've gotten used to having no party and have pretty much a quiet day at home. Even tho a part of me wishes I could have a party I feel there is no point because I wouldn't have much people to invite, I don't want people wasting their money on me, and I don't want a big fuss...I feel its embarrassing for people to celebrate me and give me gifts I didn't work hard for or earn....thats just my view on it, I do want these things but its so hard to ask because Its nicer when things are done without having to ask. I would ruin it for myself because sometimes relatives would ask what I wanted and I'd say nothing but cry about it later because I just don't want to be a burden or seem like a brat for wanting things even if they aren't expensive I still feel wrong for having wants.

Its interesting how introverted I am and that I enjoy my new birthday routine. I like to just start my day off relaxing and trying to plan my day out, usually I'll listen to music. I don't like leaving the house unless I absolutely HAVE to, like on birthdays leaving the house gives me nothing but horrible anxiety...any other day is fine but birthdays are a big NO NO, lol. I've been choosing cheesecake as my dessert of choice since 2019, so I head to my favorite Mexican grocery store which has a great bakery area...the cakes displayed by the front are nice and I always get excited to choose the perfect cheesecake. For dinners I'll change them every year for what feels best. Honestly the past few birthdays (2021-2023) have been great and having friends to celebrate with me make my day alot better, it'd be nice if they could be here in person with me but I am greatful just for the fact I have so many great people wishing me a great day when its my birthday. Its crazy that this December I turn 20, this is my last year as a teenager and I honestly don't know how to feel but I do know that I want to do my best to stay in the moment and heal as much as I can.

Also now being diagnosed as autistic with adhd (+ other things) makes me realize I need to be careful for I won't become overstimulated...I mean in general but especially on birthdays when there is so much pressure and attention on you.

Anyway rant over, this was all thought of because i saw a toys R us post on a weirdcore/nostalgia blog i look at occasionally and it reminded me about my childhood and weird relationship with (my) birthdays.

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Good Girl, Bad Boy (Pt.13 of 15)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Word count: 1.9 K

Summary: You're the extreme opposite of Billy Hargrove. The good girl, with perfect grades, the child every mother wants to have. And you don't want to have nothing to do with his kind. Ignoring Billy – and his constant, lingering stare – became an habit. But after you're put together for a special school program, you'll have no choice but to get along with him. And soon enough you'll find out that Billy is so much more than just Hawkins' bad boy.

<-Previous part (12)

Next part (14) ->

{Stranger Things Masterlist}

{Dacre Montgomery Masterlist}

×

Monster

“Billy has improved. A lot.” Seated on Mrs. Martinez's office, you go over why Billy deserves a good recommendation letter. Half the teachers already agreed, much more because of you than because of him, but that's not the point. “He doesn't get a C since he started, he wants to be a Marine Biologist and he gets straight As on Biology and honestly, he's actually helping me on Chemistry.”

“I've been tracking his progress and I've been impressed with your work. Billy Hargrove is by far the best in the program.” She read some files, putting them down before looking up at you. “I also noticed that you two became very close.”

“Mmm, yeah... W-we're dating.” You stutter, clearing your throat. “But it doesn't change the fact that he's doing great. I mean, Billy does want to go to college and–”

“Don't worry about it. A student's love life isn't my business. I just mentioned it because it was impossible not to notice.” She smiles and you blush even more. “Well, I'll be happy to write him a good recommendation letter. But for the principal, it'll be good if you get some of Billy's friends to make some reports. But we can arrange it immediately if you want. The Principal is in a meeting but I can let you know as soon as he's available if you manage to get some people right now.”

You stand up, smiling. “I can. Thank you so much.” Mrs. Martinez got that urgency of the matter, and you're more than eager to keep that up. “I'll gather some people and whenever you're ready I'll be at the parking lot.”

“Sounds good.”

“Alright.” With another ‘thank you’, you rush outside, walking fast to the parking lot. Billy is leaning against his car, and Nancy and the others are near Steve's car, a couple of feet away.

“Princess of Hawkins number two. Are we going or not?” Steve asks, making Billy notice your presence. “I'm dying for some ice cream.”

“Actually, I need a huge favor from the three of you.” Keeping your voice soft, you walk over to Billy, standing next to him. The stick on his mouth gets your attention, and you raise an eyebrow at him. “Is that my lollipop? That I was saving up?”

“...No.” He mutters, with a half-smile as he takes the candy off his mouth. “Maybe. But we can share.” Billy gives you the lollipop and you roll your eyes, biting back a smile before putting it into your mouth. And for some reason, Billy has that stupid smirk on his face

“That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen,” Steve speaks up, getting your attention.

Looking at him, you shrug your shoulders. “What? I kiss that mouth, you know that, right?”

“And you do a great job doing it,” Billy whispers on your year before taking the candy once again.

“Alright. You, drop it.” With a finger on Billy's face, you take the lollipop from his mouth again. “I have something important to say.” Turning at your friends, you take a deep breath. “Mrs. Martinez agreed on writing a good recommendation letter for Billy. But to convince the Principal to do the same, she needs a couple of students to... Give some reports, you know. As witnesses that my handsome boyfriend is now an amazing student too.”

Steve bursts into laughter, covering his mouth with one hand as you stare at him. Arms crossed, an eyebrow raised. It takes long seconds until he stops. “What?” He stutters. “You can't possibly think I'll...” As he speaks, Steve looks at the others, and not Nancy or Jonathan seems to find it funny. “Oh, c'mon. I agreed on standing Billy, but I never agreed on giving good reports.”

“Steve, this is important.”

“(Y/N), c'mon. Billy isn't–”

“Billy has good grades now and that's what I'm talking about. You don't have to like him.” Walking over Steve, you touch his shoulder. “You don't have to do it if you don't want to, but we're trying to build our future. And if you find it in your heart to do this for me, I'll be very thankful.”

“God, you're so damn good.” Billy mutters, and you roll your eyes.

“Well...” Stepping back, you smile. “I could also kill Steve. Would you help me hide the body, B?”

“Ridiculous,” Steve mumbles, making you giggle. “Fine, (Y/N). Just because somehow you made a good boyfriend out of this scumbag.”

“I'd take that back if I were you,” Billy says, raising his voice a bit.

“Woah, back down.” It's not the first time the two have incidents like this, and you always have to calm them down. “You guys have to–”

“(Y/N).” Mrs. Martinez calls and you look to your left. She walks fast, smiling. “The Principal will see the students now. But you can't be inside the office for that. They'll be interviewed separately.”

“Alright.” Breathing out, you give Steve a look. “Don't say anything driven by your personal–”

“I won't.” Steve rolls his eyes.

Mrs. Martinez guides the three of them inside the school again, and you follow them, holding hands with Billy. “It'll work.” You tell him.

“It will.” He agrees, with the smile that belongs to you alone.

“Billy boy!” Someone yells and you soon recognize Tommy, with an arm around Carol's shoulders. “Forgot to tell you, buddy. Awesome party tonight at my place.” Tommy smiles and nods at you, and Carol does the same. “My parents aren't home so we'll go hard, all night long and I count on you to set the tone as we like it.” As he speaks, he gives you a weird look. “You don't have to come if you don't want, (Y/N). I know you don't really like it.”

“I'm not going without (Y/N), you know that,” Billy says, and Tommy rolls his eyes.

“C'mon, pal. I planned everything. Wild and dirty, as you like it. I'm sure (Y/N) won't mind you going by yourself, right (Y/N)?”

“I won't. He can–”

“Sorry, guys, I gotta go,” Tommy speaks out, cutting you off. “A lot of things to do. See you there. Bye, my friends.” Waving, both he and Carol walk away.

Billy starts walking again, but you hold his hands, forcing him to stop. “B, I want to go.” You tell him, sighing. These parties aren't your thing, even though you've been to some with Billy. Mostly when it's someone's birthday. But other than that, you've been skipping them. He likes them though, and you don't want to be the one to hold him back. “Let's party and do whatever he meant by wild and dirty.”

Billy giggles, pulling you close. “You have no idea what he meant by that, pretty girl. And you don't have to go, it's alright.”

“No, B. I know you have fun on those things and I really...” You don't want to lie, not to him. So you sigh, running a hand through your hair. “Just go, alright? Have fun with your friends and... I just... I don't want to be the one to keep you from doing stuff you like. You know I'm not... I'm not like you in many, many aspects but–”

“(Y/N), listen.” Billy takes both your hands, looking down at you. “I love you.”

“B...”

“Shhh. I love when you call me that but listen.” Cupping your cheeks, he places a quick, soft kiss on your lips. “I love you just like that. Good girl, with perfect grades and so damn polite and friendly that sometimes almost kills me of jealously.” He smiles, kissing your nose. “But I wouldn't change a thing about you. Your... Goodness was exactly what made me fall for you. You're... Everything I'm not. And I'm still perplexed that you love me back.”

You're a blushing mess when he's done speaking, eyes locked on his. “A-are you sure?”

“I am.” He nods, smiling. “Why go to some stupid party when I can stay with you?”

“I'll invite you to dinner then... Let's say... Pizza?”

“Pizza.” He agrees.

“Mr. Hargrove.” The teacher calls, and you both look at her. “The Principal wants to talk to you.”

“Right away.” He says, winking at you.

When Billy enters the Principal office, you wait outside, leaning against the wall. To say you're nervous is an understatement. The Principal's letter is the most important, and you know he needs it very much.

“Sweet (Y/N).” A masculine voice calls, and you immediately look to your left, leaving your bag on the floor. It's Tyler, coming from around the corner. “What are you doing here all alone?”

“What are you doing here? Detention again?” Tyler is the only one of Billy's friends you can't stand. You soon figured out he's more like a parasite, sticking close even though people don't really like him. But still, you try not to treat him like the asshole he is. But it doesn't mean you have to answer his questions.

“No, no.” He smiles, a disgusting smile that sends shivers down your spine. Not the good kind of shivers. “I had to leave something on my locker but now... I'm actually happy I got you alone.” Tyler walks over you, standing a bit too close, making you step back. “Now tell me, (Y/N). What are you doing here? ...All alone?” He leans closer, his mouth close to your ear.

You immediately move away, violently pushing his chest. Tyler always gives you this sensation, as if he's trying to get to you somehow. And you hate it. It makes you feel like you're completely naked under his stare. “What do you think you're doing?” You ask, anger flowing out. “Stay the hell away from me, you jerk.”

Tyler laughs. Out loud, mocking you. You're about to curse again him when it happens.

Tyler moves too fast, an arm encircling your waist. His grip is too strong, and it makes you violently collapse against his chest. “I've trying to get you for far too long, sweetie.” He grunts as you start fighting, pushing him away and still trying to understand what the hell is going on. “If Billy can have you, so can I. Or do you think–” He stops suddenly when you succeed to hit him in the ribs.

“LET GO OF ME!” You manage to push out, as loud as you can, your mind yelling for Billy. But before you can say it, call for him, a hand comes to your mouth, and Tyler's free hand starts wandering through your body.

You feel violated, abused already, but it doesn't matter how hard you try, he's stronger than you.

“Sweet (Y/N), let's...” He starts pulling you, and you do try to resist as much as you can. “...Let's find ourselves some nice supply closet and get more... Comfortable? What do you think, huh? Gonna show you how a man–”

“LET GO OF HER!” The scream, the voice that sounds like thunder, makes your whole body relax at the same time Tyler's grip loosens.

The rest is pure chaos.

Billy grabs Tyler and throws him to the ground. Someone pulls you away from the fight, and you soon recognize Nancy. In her embrace, you hide your face in her hair, and she helps as you fix your clothes.

Your mind is mess, and you can't even process what's happening.

The only thing you know is that you're safe now, away from that monster. And Billy is beating him up into a bloody mess.

×

@multific @tina1938 @graciehams @moatsnow @all-the-stars-on-your-skin @captain039 @rebelemilu @theodore-likes-frogs @prettyinpunk85 @taisab02 @pascal-rascal424 @aleksanderblack @gruffle1 @boomhauer

[lostysworld]

A healing touch – Kaz Brekker x reader

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 (final)

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x reader

Warning: OOC (so much for Kaz),fluff!!!!!!

Summary: Kaz is ready to give a second chance. It leads to finding his true place around you.

A/N: I've done this, guys!! I've done fluff!!! Hope you'll like it :D

Masterlist

For the whole next week you are helping your parents, who are trying to plan you soon-to-be birthday. No need to mention, you don't want to celebrate, when your head is busy with what happened between you and Kaz.

You love him, really love. And you aren't even angry at him, because everyone makes mistakes. But sitting like this, doing nothing and waiting for Saints know what is slowly killing you.

You met with Inej and Nina for several times to discuss it, but they couldn't advise nothing, but to wait.

Your mother, in her turn, decides to invite all your friends. Means, all the Crows will be at one place at the same time, and it's definitely going to be fun. Maybe you just need a little bit of distraction.

Your birthday is your father's day off, so your house is soaked with pastry smell from base to the roof from the very morning.

Since your dad is preparing everything at home, it is your turn to help your mother at her work. It is where Kaz's messenger finds you.

A small note shakes in your hands slightly, as you can't stop it.

"If you didn't change your mind, come"

You chuckle. In the end of the note you see a small ink scratch of a crow foot. Kaz always signs notes for you that way.

– Are you planning on standing like that and keeping him waiting?

Your mother's voice rings from your back.

– How do you-

– You have this face again, - she smiles shortly at you and nods towards the door. – Go, girl. I can manage this place by myself.

The wooden door squeaks and you come inside the office. Kaz is sitting behind his table as usual, but he instantly stands up, when you appear at his doorway.

– Hey, - your awkward smile lightens up his worried face a bit. – Something important for me?

You don't know why he called you here, but don't want to have a false hope.

– Yes...it is important, - the man comes up to a drawer and takes out a silver bracelet, the one that matches your pendant. – Happy birthday, Y/N.

He extends his arm to you for taking it, but you only come up to him and cover his gloved hand with yours.

– I will never change my mind, Kaz. Not for you.

Brekker sighs heavily and raises his glance on you, making you shiver. You have never had a thought of how it could be hard not to see him for a week.

– You will be in danger every single minute of your life, - his firm tone makes you nod. – And we will both live under constant pressure.

– Fine.

– Not to mention, that I can never give you a full life, and-, - you make him stop with your hand on his, giving the man a slight squeeze.

– What do you think full life is, Brekker?

He shakes his head, aware of the fact, that you will never agree with him on this point. A faint smile of yours reassures him a bit, and when you start speaking, he relaxes.

– Having you by my side, Kaz, is pretty enough for me. Frankly, - you slowly take off his gloves, one by one, laying them on the table. – It is the only thing I can dream of.

You are so close now, and want to kiss him so badly. Brekker's gaze drops to your lips and you understand his intention quite clearly.

With a shaking breath he moves to you, and you can only imagine how hard it is for the man. Yes, he advanced greatly with this, you can now even allow yourself an accidental brush across his hand, but a kiss is another thing.

– You don't have, if you don't want to, Kaz. I can wait.

He shakes his head reluctantly, and lays his bare hand on your shoulder.

– The problem is that I don't want you to wait, Y/N.

With that he slowly shortens the gap and brushes his lips across yours. It is merely a kiss, but it feels like heavens for you, as it is literally your biggest dream, that, you think, was impossible.

The grip on you shoulder tightens, and you can barely hold back a smile. It is a big move for Kaz and you as well, so you can't be nothing but proud of him. Even if he is a bit nervous.

Then he breaks the kiss after a dozen of seconds and touches your forehead with his, staying like this for some time.

– It is not stolen.

– What? - you leans back to meet his gaze. The man nods towards the bracelet on the table he gave you.

– The bracelet is not stolen. I bought him in-

You shut him up with another careful kiss, this time more passionate, not afraid for his reaction. You can swear, Brekker grins tensely in the kiss, as you can feel it with your skin.

Kaz Brekker, Bastard of the Barrel, bought a birthday present for you, matching with his previous gift. What else could you dream about, really?

– I turned out, - Kaz tries to calm his breath. – Liking you a lot more that I originally planned.

– Is it anything, that you don't plan?

– You, kissing me for the second time. It wasn't planned.

You chuckle and instantly find his other hand to hold, but he halts. Seems, it's too much for him in one moment. Brekker gives you an apologetic smirk.

– You are doing great, - you smile to him, trying to reassure.

– I still need time to work it through.

– You are not alone, Kaz, - he keeps staring at you in a kind of awe. – We will work it through. I will help you.

Brekker grins at you and reaches for the bracelet on the table to lock on your wrist.

– Will you come to the dinner?

You suddenly remember about today's birthday party. Now, when everything is settled down between you two, you can think about planning again.

– I'm not sure-

– Everyone will be there, Kaz. And you know my mother will be happy to see you.

Brekker hesitates. Though you don't want to force him and rush the moment. But it would be lovely to see him along with your friends and family.

– You know, I don't suit family dinners, Y/N.

His half broken voice makes your heart ache for him. Why he can't understand this? He is worth everything. You know his fear of not being able to give you full live pretty well. Because partly it is your fear too. That your efforts will be not enough for both of you.

Not to worry Kaz even more, you lay your hand on his elbow.

– I will be waiting for you today's evening, love. But it all is up to you.

You turn to leave, not noticing him freeze from the nickname you give him. He surely doesn't let it just pass by. And when the door closes, he still stands in the middle of his office, trying to collect himself after your visit.

The noise in your house is pleasant with everyone chatting and telling stories. You look them over and smile. Every Crow finds its place here.

Nina is busy with your mother at the kitchen, dragging Matthias with her. Jasper is telling your father about shooting and Inej only smiles shyly, when your mum tells her to make herself comfortable.

Everyone is on the place. Everyone except Kaz. He still doesn't show up, and your hope is slowly getting lost in a cword laughing.

You know it is not his intention to upset you, Brekker just doesn't like big companies and can't find a proper place for himself.

And when the sudden knock on the door rings, you instantly rush to open it. The wide smile appears on your lips as you see Kaz, who's grinning shyly at you.

– You came! - you want to hug him, but refuse just in time.

– Happy birthday again.

You smirk and nod towards the room.

– Won't you come in? - that hope in your glance is so visible, that you don't even need to beg the man. – The party isn't complete without you, Kaz.

He chuckles, coming closer to you, but shakes his head reluctantly.

– It's too crowded for me.

– It's not a crowd, Brekker. They are your friends too, - seeing that you almost win, you continue to force him. – Come on, Kaz, join us. My mother adores you.

– Yes, that's exactly what I'm afraid of, - he surely notices another woman's steps towards the door, and steps back to hide in the shadows, but your mum is not that naive.

– No, no, Mr. Brekker. You will not fool me like this, - you put your lips in a thin line to hold back a laughter. This woman knows how to get under someone's skin. – We saved a seat for you. So, hurry up.

With that she comes back to the kitchen.

– You heard her, Kaz. You have no choice now.

The man walks out of the darkness with that one-sided grin, the one you love the most. He comes in to let you close the door.

Everything goes well, you mother is hovering around Kaz like a mother hen, that makes you smile even more than before. It isn't really a birthday party, but a family dinner just with more members.

– So, you, Mr. Brekker, are up to illegal things here in Ketterdam, am I right?

The sudden question from your father makes everyone shut up, even Jasper. Little do they know, he isn't a strict man. He asks it just out of interest, and they shouldn't be nervous like this.

Kaz tenses and you don't get to somehow show him, that it's alright, when your mother comes back from the kitchen with her famous apple pie.

– Do not scare our guests, Y/F/N. Let them enjoy the dinner.

You suppress a smile to your mum, who stands next to Brekker, knowing this question is for him. Seems, she likes him most of all and even ready to protect from your father's curiosity.

Your father starts cutting the pie.

– I don't care what he is doing, until he's a gentleman. Manners make the man.

Kaz casts a glance to you across the table, and you just nod to show, everything is okay. He's a perfect gentleman, it's for you to know for sure.

When the dinner is over and the Crows go to the Slat, Kaz stays for a little, letting them to leave you two alone.

It's long past midnight, when you walk him to the entrance door.

– Thank you, Kaz, - he comes out and turns to you. – Your presence means a lot to me. And your gift too. Thank you.

He nods, but isn't going to leave. You close the door behind you and take his gloved hand to lead him to the nearest bench. The day was amazing, and you are not ready to let him go yet.

The skies are glowing with millions of stars tonight, and your glance is stick to it. You don't notice how Kaz is looking at you.

– Thank you for the invitation then. I have never had a family like yours to be around.

Your eyes meet his and these sad sparkles in his voice makes you thinking of something.

– Well, you have now. A very big one, actually.

Kaz glances at you, making goosebumps run down your forearms. How can a single glance give you such reaction?

You know, that he's hard to persuade, but you really want him to know, that he has a safe place to go to.

Brekker doesn't respond and when he switches his gaze above his head to look at the starts, you notice his eyes are a bit watered.

You think about how much he suffered, and how you can help him to make peace with his past from now. You, your friends and your family will be always here for the man.

The sudden thought of his last improvement comes to your mind.

– Kaz, - you call his name, but he doesn't move. – Your brother would be so proud of you.

He immediately turns to your, eyes are searching for something on your face. But you are serious as never before. Brekker's trauma is a constant reminder of Jordie, but he can't remember his family like that. There should be something good in it.

His glance slips to your lips, and for a couple of moments he can't take his eyes off. He takes one shaking breath, overwhelmed by unspoken words and emotions.

– May I.

You know that this day is the hardest for the man, and you're pretty aware of his boundaries, but just can't let yourself stop him.

You nod and he takes one of his gloves off, slowly caressing your cheek. When he is about to lean forward, you stop him in an inch from his lips with a whisper.

– You are the strongest person I know, Kaz Brekker.

Your heart sinks down, when his lips finally touch yours in a slow tender kiss.

You want to embrace the man, but try to keep your hands out with all your strength. With every second passing, you feel Kaz relaxes, and it brings smile to your lips.

He brakes the kiss and furrows.

– What? - Brekker's face almost makes you grin more. You shake your head.

– Nothing. Just love you.

Actually you can do it all night long, telling him the truth and watching him falling in a sort of shock. And his reaction only encourage you to go on every time.

The man shakes his head in disbelief and gives up a smile, the kind you didn't see before.

– It's...I'm a fool, when it comes to revealing feelings, Y/N, - you shake his world completely, but Kaz starts getting used to it. – But I want to tell so much.

– I will not force you into anything against your will.

He shakes his head and moves closer. You are so warm and radiant, he just can't stay cold and collected with you around, doesn't want to anymore. Of course, for everyone else he is still the same Kaz Brekker, but not for you.

– I just want you to be patient at this point, Y/N.

– I've been knowing you, Kaz, for two years, - your light chuckle touches his heart. – Patience and I are long friends.

– So? - he raises his brow to you.

– So, I can live with that, Kaz Brekker. For as long as you will have me.

This smile of his can melt you to the ground and you smile to him back, turning your gaze to the skies again.

After a second you feel his gloved hand covers your fingers, and grin.

This day is your pure bliss, and you two will endure everything else together.

So, this is the end of it! Thank all of you for likes and comments, I hope you really enjoy it ❤

Actually, I have an idea of writing The darkling x reader imagine. Maybe, you'll be interested :D

[jeonggukkiepabo]

CRYSTAL SNOW ❄ MYG

SUMMARY: Christmas has always been a stressful time for Yoongi: buying presents, decorating the tree, baking cookies, you name it-Yoongi does it. It wouldn't be so difficult if Yoongi had someone to help him, but all he has left in his life is his beautiful daughter Ara.But maybe this year, he won't be all alone.

GENRE: christmas fluff  ❄ a bit of smut

WORD COUNT: 7,3k

WARNINGS: f l u f f, single parent yoongi, kindergarten teacher y/n, oral, satoori, domestic christmas vibes :(, mentions of death

AUTHOR’S NOTE: the secret collab is finally here! thanks @kimtaehyunq​ for letting me join💞 i’m so excited to read the other fics as well! & thank you Mags for doing this amazing banner I think this is the prettiest banner I've ever had. 🤧 Tysm love💞

MERRY CHRISTMAS

People usually say she looks a lot like her father, but all Yoongi sees in Ara is his wife. Wherever his daughter goes, his wife's ghost follows, the memory of his teenage love and the wonderful years they spent together until she left their lives.

Min Dasom died almost one year after Ara was born, her death coming too sudden for anyone to bid their last goodbyes-leaving her husband and baby heartbroken and alone.

It was awful, Yoongi won't be able to forget that one night the police called him, telling him that his precious wife drowned in the ocean during her monthly trip to the beach with her friends. 

Ever since that call, Yoongi has never stepped near a beach again, never felt hot sand between his toes again, never went swimming again.

It was hard, being a single parent and Yoongi was tempted to give up many times, but seeing Ara grow and bloom into the beautiful girl she is now, Yoongi is beyond thankful that he survived the pain and sorrow.  

He never drowned his thoughts in alcohol because his sunshine always looked at him with her sad little eyes, almost as if she knew what he wanted to do and hugged his legs tightly until Yoongi set the bottle away and picked Ara up and spent the night cuddling her.

Things got easier as soon as Ara was old enough to finally go to kindergarten, allowing Yoongi to work more hours and on a daily basis again. It's not like he needed a lot of money, it's just that Yoongi needs to work. 

He's used to working all the time, he's always been-because working doesn't give him time to think about the tragedy that is his life.

Money wasn't an issue for the Min family, Yoongi used to be one of the most successful pianists and producers in South Korea, but he gave up on that as soon as Ara was born, just to have time for his family.

His friend Hyunjin offered him a job as a songwriter and composer at his own label JinHit Entertainment. 

Yoongi could work from home whenever he wanted and needed to, but the studio Hyunjin set him up was way better and filled with new technology that Yoongi loved playing and experimenting with.

The acclimatization to her new daily routine wasn't easy for Ara because she wasn't used to having women in her life-until now, it has always been Yoongi and Ara. They ended up switching kindergarten two times before Ara came into the one that you've been working at for a while now-instantly falling in love with you.

The first few days with your new reference child we're quite… interesting because the little girl was full of action and so curious about every little thing in the room that you couldn't sit still and talk to her father for a while because Ara grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the next game she wanted to play.

Her father, Min Yoongi, sent you an apologetic smile as he watched you play with his daughter from a distance, giving you time to get used to each other and build a bond. You winked at him as you took a seat next to Ara and started to explain the rules of the board game to her-impressed about how well she was understanding them.

It didn't take Ara a long time to send Yoongi home, waving him goodbye and pressing a loud kiss onto his lips. "Go and work, Appa! Uncle Hyunjinnie waits for you to make good music!"

Yoongi looked at her with a pout, crossing his arms over his chest. "You're telling me to leave? Just to go and work? That is rude, princess."

You giggled and hugged Ara as she ran over to you, Yoongi long forgotten.

"Would you like to bring your dad to the door, Ara? I think he might be sad if you won't. Remember: he won’t see you for a few hours and you don’t want your dad to be sad during lunch, right?"

Ara giggled but nodded nonetheless and grabbed Yoongi by the hand. "Hurry!"

Yoongi looked at you in shock, desperately trying to hold in his laugh. "I think you gave me Ara's evil twin instead of my sweet little princess! Where is my nice girl that always kisses Appa goodbye?"

You shrugged your shoulders playfully as one of the other kids asked for you to help him with building a big tower out of building blocks. "Have a nice day, Mr Min. Oh and make sure you won't forget about our appointment on Thursday! I don't think it'll take longer than an hour, it's just to talk about Ara's development so far."

Yoongi was one of the few parents that were always punctual, not even a minute too late-and the only parent you've never felt any kind of rage towards. Not only that, but he attended every kindergarten fest, always prepared little cupcakes for Ara's birthday to bring with her to kindergarten and share with her friends.

May was rolling around quickly and you were as eager as always to craft some little gifts for the children to give their mothers. 

You prepared some candle wax and melted it so the kids could fill it in plastic forms and add glitter and scent to their preference, just to have a nice little gift to give. 

Most of the kids had fun, some of them were a bit grumpy because they got glitter all over themselves, but there is one little girl pouting and trying not to cry in front of them, not even touching the wax.

Ara.

It breaks your heart every time, knowing that Ara's mother died years ago and that she probably had no other woman in her life because you’ve already heard that her father works quite a lot. 

Squatting down next to the little girl, you gently pinch her stomach just to hear her little giggles. 

"What's wrong, sweetheart? Don't you want to make a nice candle?"

Ara looks up at you, one single tear slipping out of her eye. "I don't have a mom, so no candle for me."

You coo, playing with Ara's hair as you stand up again, leading her towards the crafting table.

"That doesn't matter, Ara. I think your dad will be happy to get a candle too! We can pick a different color than pink, what do you think does he like the most? I’m sure we will find something!"

Ara taps her chin, smiling slightly as she thinks about Yoongi's favorite color. "Black! He wears black clothes! Always! Do we have black glitter, Y/N?" 

She scrunches her nose at the first few oils, but one scent really lights up her face. "This smells like Appa! Can we use this?" 

"We do, I didn't put it on the table because usually nobody wants it so it sits on the shelf, all by itself. I think the glitter finally deserves to be used!" You smile at the kid, grabbing the small container of glitter from the shelf and handing it over to Ara.

"We do have a few scents, would you like to smell them? Choose whichever you think smells the best and we can put a few drops in the wax,' you offer the bowl of different oils to Ara and help her open the lids.

Ara holds up the little bottle of rose oil and you smile to yourself. Black roses, that really seems to fit the impression you have of Mr. Min.

"Of course. Now, let's mix the glitter with the wax and we can put it into the mold. Alright, now stir it while i put in a few drops of the rose oil, okay?"

You guide her through the process, talking to her and listening to her rambling about the piano lessons Mr. Min gives her on a regular basis, just because Ara wants to be like her favorite man in the world.

"He is a great dad, Ara. You're so lucky to have him, I know that he must be sad sometimes too, but you're such a sunshine and help him as much as he helps you," you hug her from the side, enjoying the way Ara leans into the hug as well.

"I want a mom, but Appa is almost like a mom! He lets me paint his nails, goes to ballet with me and always bakes princess cookies for our tea parties!"

Ara giggles as she dips the wick into the liquid wax.

"Appa needs a woman to love, the only dates he goes to are work-dates with uncle Hyunjin," she says.

And yes, you think so as well.

One day around September, you decide that it’s definitely hot enough to prepare the blow-up outside pool for the kids, allowing them to change into their swimsuits and let them play around, even adding some bubbles to the water to let them experiment.

Mr. Min smiles at you, his gums fully showing and you can’t help but smile as well as you hear his words.

“And I think there’s no job that you could do better than this one.”

You’re sitting next to the pool on a bench in the shadow, reading some books to those few kids that don’t want to hop into the water as Ara jumps out of the pool.

“Y/N, come inside as well, it’s so nice!” She jumps up and down, her wet ponytail dripping onto her shoulders.

You pout, pointing to the kids next to you. “I can’t, you know that some of the kids are still afraid to go into the water with so many other children around. Maybe next time. Now, go and enjoy it, it’s super hot and I don’t know when autumn will come around and surprise us with bad weather!”

Ara nods quickly, hopping back into the water and continues splashing some water around with her friends, but she glances at you every few seconds. Then, she whispers with her two best friends before all three of them nod as they look at you.

Suddenly, they run towards you, surprising you with wet hugs and loud giggles, leaving your white summer dress almost see through.

Suddenly, there’s someone clearing his throat right behind you and you wish you could sink deep down into the pool once you see that it’s Mr. Min. 

“Girls!,” you can’t help but yelp, the cold water causing you to jump up from the bench. Yet, you laugh with them, the cooling really helping you with the heat.

“You can’t just do that, Ara. Look at my dress now, you can almost see through it, you’re lucky that the parents won’t come in within the next two hours, otherwise they would see me like this,” you try to look stern, but to be honest: you would have done the same if you were Ara.

“Ara, why did you do that?,” he asks with his calm voice and tries his best not to look at your hardening nipples under the dress. 

Ara’s bottom lip trembles as she looks at you with sad eyes. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I just thought it would be funny…”

Mr. Min turns to you and bows slightly. “I’m sorry, she shouldn’t have done that. And well, I came to pick her up earlier because we will visit her grandparents over the weekend. I should’ve informed you earlier. Is there any way I can help you with your… erm, dress?”

Mr. Min nods at you, picking up his-still wet-daughter as he looks you up and down slow enough to leave goosebumps all over your skin once again. 

You blush, shaking your head as you grab Ara’s clothes and hand her to her father.

“It’s alright, Mr. Min, it’s not your fault-and a water fight is too much fun to just not do it, right, Ara? It’s sunny enough so I’ll just bring the bench into the sun and I’ll be dry soon enough! I hope you’re having fun with your grandparents, Ara! Have a nice weekend, Mr. Min.”

“It’s alright, Mr. Min, really. You don’t know how many children happen to call one of us mom without realizing it. It’s nothing too wild, I’ve gotten used to it and I think especially in Ara’s case… It was supposed to happen, you know? I mean, I don’t want to intrude on your private life, but I suppose you’re not seeing another person and Ara isn’t growing up with other females, so she takes those she sees here as a female person to bond with, you know?”

“Thank you, mommy! Oh… I mean Y/N..,” Ara quirps as he turns around in her father’s arms, even though it doesn’t look like she’s really sorry at all.

“Ara!” Mr. Min gasps as he looks at his daughter. 

Yoongi shakes his head. “I haven’t seen another woman ever since my wife died. Ara is the only woman in my life, the only one I give all my love to. She deserves it,” he sighs. “But you’re right, I think another female person would really help her with growing up. I just don’t want to introduce her to some random woman I might not even want to spend the rest of my life with. Is this egoistic?”

His honest words hit you, knowing how lonely he must be, all alone with his little girl and a bunch of work he has to do. “It’s not, Mr. Min. You don’t have to date just because you think it would be the best for Ara. There are many single fathers that raise their kids perfectly fine and I think you’re one of them! Ara never tells bad stories about you and I think you’re doing a really good job, spending all of your free time with her and allowing her to experience so many fun things. I’ve met so many ‘happy’ families that didn’t even manage to pack breakfast for their kids, so really, don’t break your head over something like this! I’m happy that Ara accepted me so much and that she always comes to me whenever she has a problem. This is why I chose my job.”

Over the next few months, Mr. Min is all that’s on your mind, even though you know how unprofessional it is, but he’s even kinder to you than he’s been before. You usually have a small chat with every parent whenever they bring or pick up their children, but Mr. Min makes sure to always catch you and ask you about your day, if there’s anything new in your life and you can’t help but ask him about his work and the songs he’s been working on as well.

“Ah, it’s really stressful right now. I’m working with this band that’s debuting soon and we have to prepare and finish the entire album I wrote about five songs for. They’re really good but still so young, I think the oldest is 16? Or was it 17? Whatever, that’s like ten years younger than me! I think I’ll grow grey hair soon when I keep on working with such young idols,” he sighs playfully as he helps Ara to put on her shoes and jacket. 

“I mean, you’re not that old, Mr. Min. Don’t worry-as long as you keep that handful smile you will look like you’re straight out of some perfume poster. But I’d love to listen to one of your songs! I mean, if you’d let me,” you smile with honesty as you hand Ara her backpack. 

Mr. Min shrugs, pulling his phone out of his pocket as he opens his Spotify account. He types something in and turns the screen towards you. AGUST D, it says. You scrunch your eyes at the name, trying to remember where you’ve known it from, but it doesn’t ring a bell right now. 

“I’ll make sure to listen to some of your songs, I hope they aren’t too sad though, I prefer my music to be more… pop and rock?”

You cringe at your own words, hoping that the man knows what you were trying to say. 

And fuck, you did like it. Turns out that AGUST D wasn’t some softie that plays guitar lullabies, no. 

Yoongi cracks a grin, then winks at you playfull before he takes Ara’s hand after she said goodbye to you.

“I think you’re going to like it.”

AGUST D seems to be one of the best rappers in the music industry that you’ve ever been listening to. He sounds so aggressive and fast that you needed to listen twice to some of his songs to understand what he was saying, but you ended up adding much more songs into your playlist than you’d like to tell him.

But you did tell him.

“Oh, I’m not doing that crazy rap thing anymore. It was a phase, I guess. By now, I use the name to help smaller musicians and trainees, produce their songs and write their lyrics. It’s better to do so with a bigger name, but AGUST D died a long time ago, I guess I killed him.” Mr. Min says the next day.

"I mean, as long as you keep all of them on Spotify, I'm alright with that. Most of those songs match my aggressive driving vibe and I can't imagine driving to work without it." You try to joke before you realize what it must've sounded like. "Oh lord, I didn't mean it like that!" 

You blush, trying to hide your reddened cheeks in your palms, but Mr. Min just laughs it off.

"Don't worry, I get what you mean. I usually play Love Talk as soon as i leave this building."

He even has the audacity to wink at you before he leaves with a grin, causing Ara to coo.

"Appa really likes you if he teases you!"

And the teasing goes on and on, there’s almost no day without a snarky comment from Mr. Min or a sarcastic comment from you-but neither of you takes those words to heart because that’s what you need in your lives, someone to laugh with, someone to make jokes with.

Even though there are plenty of other children in your group and so many parents you talk to daily, the only one you’re happy to see in the afternoon is Mr. Min.

The summer is long gone and fall said goodbye a few weeks ago, December came around and your little crush on Mr. Min isn’t as little anymore-and you can’t help yourself but wonder if he might be into you as well. You’ve shared a few noons talking about Ara’s development and if she’s ready for school next September, but most of the times you didn’t talk about the girl for more than thirty minutes before one of you switched the topic to something more private as the man leans closer to you and locks his gaze with yours.

You’re not as nervous around him as you were before and you can feel him starting to open up towards you as well. Yet, you’ve never met outside of the kindergarten, knowing it would be way too unprofessional and you’d never want to ruin the wonderful bond you share with Ara just because you’re desperate to jump into her father’s lap and call him Daddy too.

You’re not one of those women to go into a club and have a dirty one night stand with a random stranger, but you’ve been too busy to actually go and meet people, so you’ve kind of gotten used to being alone, even though you’re really missing late night cuddles and Disney marathons.

It’s Saturday afternoon and you’ve been strolling through the mall for a while now, looking for some christmas presents for your friends and family-but also wanting to treat yourself because work has been more than just exhausting lately.

You’ve been handling the entire group alone, having a lot more smaller children because new kids have been coming to kindergarten and having to deal with so many parents alone can be pure hell. Sadly enough you’re living all by yourself, only having a few close friends that don’t understand why you’re even doing this underpaid job and your last relationship crashed almost two years ago.

The mall looks amazing, beautiful christmas ornaments are hanging from the ceiling and there must be someone playing the piano somewhere because the soft melodic tunes fill the entire mall, reminding you of Mr. Min once again.

You just stepped out of a lingerie store, something you’re really passionate about even though nobody but yourself sees you in it, but you love the feeling of lace on your skin, love how beautifully the soft colors compliment your skin and love imagining Mr. Min ripping the soft material off you.

The small paper bag in your hand, you look around for another shop that might hold the next christmas present for one of your friends. 

“Appa, please! I already have a picture but we need you to have one too!”

You know that voice too well to ignore it, searching the area for the small owner of it, giggling as you found her. Ara and Mr. Min are in the Santa area of the mall that gives you the ability to sit on Santa’s lap and take a picture with him as you tell him your biggest christmas wishes.

But the little girl is not sitting on Santa’s lap, she’s trying to push her father towards the man with the fake beard, clearly wanting him to sit down on that lap.

You giggle, walking towards them just to find out what’s going to happen.

“Ara, I’m too old and heavy for poor Santa, I think he prefers girls your age-wait, no not like that. I think he likes boys and girls-ugh. You’re driving me crazy, princess. Look, there’s a few other kids wanting to have their time with Santa as well, why don’t we just leave and try to find some more presents from the giftshop here, hm?” The man tries to talk his daughter into leaving the uncomfortable situation, but Ara is as stubborn as ever-she always gets what she wants, especially from her father.

“But… I want you to have pictures with Santa too!” She pouts, looking over at the confused Santa before she hears your giggle. “Y/N!”

Mr. Min turns around, a shocked expression on his face and a soft pink tint on his cheeks.

“Oh, Ms. Y/L/N. What a surprise.”

You giggle even more, stepping closer towards them. “Hello Ara, good afternoon Mr. Min,” you bow slightly before accepting the little girl’s hug. 

“I see, you really want to sit on Santa’s lap, but Ara doesn’t want to let you because she’d be embarrassed.” 

Yoongi hums in agreement. “Horrible, those children. I mean, I just want a nice christmas picture with Santa, but you know how they are… right before puberty hits them.”

“Y/N, Appa doesn’t want to take a picture with Santa, would you sit on his lap and take a picture for me?” Ara looks up at you with her big eyes and like always, you can’t say no. Instead, you hand Mr. Min your bags-not thinking about the fact that one of them is from the lingerie store-before taking Ara’s hand and walking over to the smiling Santa.

The picture is quickly taken and not even five minutes later, Mr. Min hands you your bags, whispering, so Ara wouldn’t hear you. “I think the peach one will suit you the best.”

Ara nods and rips the bags out of Mr. Min’s hands to show you her cute dresses and bows while the man just stares at you with an open mouth. Did you really just say that to him? 

You gasp, hiding the bags behind your back but who are you to deny the fact that this man is the exact reason you stepped into the store?

“Thank you, I hope someone will get to see them before Christmas. It would be a shame to waste those pretty pieces for some lame mirror selfies,” you smile innocently before squatting down next to Ara. “Did you buy something nice yet?”

“Appa, we wanted to get hot chocolate, can Y/N come too please?”

Yoongi is speechless once more as he quietly follows his daughter and her kindergarten teacher towards the mall’s cafe-realizing that he shouldn’t have chosen his tightest pair of skinny jeans because somehow, they got quite uncomfortable as soon as you arrived.

Yoongi raises an eyebrow at his daughter before he picks up all the dresses that Ara tried to shove back into the bags. “If she wants, she’s welcome to join, but I think you should ask her first, maybe she is busy.”

You blush at the invitation, not sure whether to accept it or not-but you’re not one to decline on hot chocolate. Smiling at Ara, you nod. “Show me where to get the best hot chocolate, I’m craving something sweet and thick down my throat.”

He watches you as Ara grabs your hand and swings them around with a soft giggle, heart warming as he sees your fond smile.

Ara talks about you a lot-hell, Yoongi asks about you a lot whenever Ara doesn't want to talk about you but watch her favorite show.

It's unprofessional and probably not allowed, Yoongi knows, but Ara leaves for school in March anyways, so who cares? 

It's obvious to the both of you that you're interested in each other, the flirting and teasing coming to a point where Yoongi can't wait for another snarky remark of yours.

And now that he has the chance to sit and talk with you outside of your workplace, you just chose to buy a bag full of fucking beautiful lingerie (yes, Yoongi looked inside, no, he doesn't regret it).

Ara leads you into this beautiful cat cafe that apparently has "The best hot chocolate and bubble tea, but it's too cold for bubble tea… Can they make hot bubble tea?" as Ara says, earning a harsh "no" from Yoongi, because that's something he wishes for as well.

"Go find a place with Mr. Y/L/N, Ara. I'll get your order, yeah? What can I order for you?" Yoongi looks at you as he pulls out his wallet, giving you some time to read the menu.

"Oh, the candy cane hot chocolate, please! And please, as long as we are not talking inside the kindergarten, call me Y/N. I mean, you've seen my underwear, I think you deserve to call me by my name."

Yoongi blushes, nodding and rushes towards the cashier to order your drinks. You smile at the man, then at the cats-they look somewhat similar-before you sit down next to Ara who is currently petting four cats on her lap.

"They're adorable," you coo, "Do you have any pets?"

Ara nods with a big smile and hands you one of the cats, a pretty one with orange fur and big eyes. 

"I have a turtle! Gukkie gave it to me and Appa didn't like it first, but I love her!"

You enjoy the cat's purring as you gently stroke her chin. "A turtle sounds lovely, I hope you can show it to me one day."

"Oh, that won't be a problem, I can invite you for dinner and Appa will get shy and red in the face, but he wouldn't say no because he's super soft for-" "ALPACAS! I'm soft for alpacas, haha, here we go, three hot chocolates."

Yoongi appears with a pained expression as he places your hot chocolate right in front of you.

"Thanks, Yoongi," you smile at the man and Yoongi swears that his heart stopped beating for a second. "I'm soft for Alpacas as well."

Right after you all finished your drinks, Ara decides that it’s time to walk through the mall once more, just to make sure that Santa is still there and will take another picture with hot chocolate-filled Ara. 

“Did you enjoy your date with Y/N, Appa?” She looks up at her father as you walk towards the mall. Yoongi trembles, blushing brightly. “I’m pretty sure this wasn’t a date, Ara. Don’t assume things like this, it’s rude,” he mumbles as he gently pets her head to make sure she isn’t hurt by his comment.

You giggle, whispering loud enough for Yoongi to hear. “I really liked it, Ara. Your Appa can be funny if he wants to.”

The picture with Santa comes out pretty, even though the man groaned as two grown adults decided to sit on each of his legs, the bright smiling Ara kneeling in front of them. But it’s really worth it, because Yoongi’s smile never leaves his lips this evening, gums showing beautifully on the picture and you quickly make sure to get a copy of that picture as well.

Yoongi’s eyes widen. “So was this a… you know?” It’s endearing, how shy he suddenly seems to be. You’ve never seen him like this. Stressed, overworked and happy - yes. Shy and blushing? Never.

You nod with a soft smile as you lay your hand on his shoulder.

“Yes, I’d like that to be a ‘you know what’, Yoongi.”

You can't even tell when the two of you officially started dating, but you'll never forget the first kiss you've shared during one of your walks-thanks to Ara for snapping a picture of it. Yoongi's hands wrapped around your waist, eyes clenched shut and lips curled in a soft smile as fresh snow fell down on you.

Seeing Yoongi at work wasn’t as weird as you had expected it to be, it’s quite the opposite. He’s attentive and lovely, bringing you fresh croissants or donuts every morning or puting little chocolate for you and Ara in his daughter’s lunchbox.

He’s caring, picking you up after your shift to invite you to dinners and walks through the forest with Ara, because that little girl just loves walking in the fresh snow that has started to fall recently. She takes pictures of your footprints with Yoongi’s phone and makes him promise to print it for her to hang up.

“Of course I can, Ara. You’re already wearing your sleeping clothes and you’ve brushed your teeth with Appa, so hurry up and pick out the book you want me to read!” 

Ara grows closer and closer to you, until that one day where you stay over the Min’s house for dinner, she asks you to bring her to bed.

“Can she, Appa? I want her to read my favorite bedtime story to me! Please, Y/N,” Ara looks up at you with a pout, her beautiful eyes-that remind you of Yoongi-sparkling with admiration. 

That girl really makes your heart melt, combined with the soft smile that Yoongi gives you. And suddenly, you feel like you’re meant to be here, helping that man that you’ve grown so close to, helping the girl that lost her mother way too early and maybe even helping yourself with accepting that love really comes unexpectedly.

You gently tuck the soft blanket over Ara and place her favorite stuffie next to her as you smile at the girl fondly. "Sleep well, Ara," you whisper quietly, trying not to wake her up.

"Kissies, please," she mumbles sleepily and makes grabby hands towards you.

"Ara, I-" "Please," she whines and opens her eyes, tears starting to build up.

"Okay, it's okay, Ara." You swipe her hair out of her face before you plant a soft little kiss onto the girl's forehead. "Good night, sweetheart."

"Good night, Y/N. Will you be there tomorrow morning?"

Your smile fades, unsure if you really want to tell the little girl the truth. 

"Probably not, I have to get ready for work. You know that I love to wear dresses on Thursdays and I didn't bring mine. But we will see each other in the kindergarten!"

"Okay," she whispers before she falls back into a quiet slumber.

Yoongi has cleaned the kitchen in the meantime and poured more wine for the both of you to enjoy in front of the fireplace.

"She really adores you," he says as you sit down next to him, sipping the rosé Yoongi bought just for you.

"And I adore her. She's an angel. Thank you for allowing me to spend so much time with her, Yoon."

Yoongi blushes again, shaking his head. The greyish blonde hair got messier as the evening passed. "No, Y/N. You're the first mother-figure Ara has, I have to thank you in both mine and Ara's name. I know that dating a single father is a lot, but you're accepting my family so well… I never thought I'd find another woman in my life again. Ever since my wife died, it was hard for me to even look at other women, let alone build up something like a relationship with them because I always felt bad. But that's what she would have wanted for me. To love again, to not waste my last handsome days," his lips curl into a smirk before he shakes again. 

Then, his sharp eyes met yours and soften within seconds. 

"I… I don't know if it's the right time, we've known each other for two years, we've been officially dating for only three weeks, but I think I won't change my mind about it-no I know that I won't change my mind. I love you, Y/N. And I know that Ara loves you too."

You gasp, lips beginning to tremble once your eyes meet Yoongi's. "Yoongi…," you whisper before you place your glass on the table and basically jump onto his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

"I wanted to be the one to tell you first. I love you so much, Yoongi. I've had this stupid crush on you ever since you saw me in that wet dress, ever since you've shown me your music. Ever since I've seen you being the wonderful father you are-and that's so sexy, you can't even imagine."

Yoongi smirks as his hands find their place on the curve of your ass. "Sexy, huh? Me, doing the laundry and cooking dinner? Or me walking Ara to kindergarten with the homemade lunch boxes? That turns you on?"

You laugh, hiding your face in his neck as you lean closer to press your lips against his ear.

"All of that-and the way that you love Ara with all your heart, that's maybe the sexiest thing about you."

The man groans as he grabs you even tighter. "I never thought that sweet talk would turn me on even more than dirty talk," he laughs shakily as he wiggles his hips slightly to get into a more comfortable position that won't suffocate his hardening erection.

You sigh, sit up and run your hands through his hair. "Isn't all of this too early? I always tell myself that I shouldn't fall so fast, but here I am, ready to go every step with you."

Yoongi nods before he presses a peck on your nose. "Same, but we have all the time on earth. Ara wants us to get married by tomorrow, but I'm sure she'll survive it if we decide to postpone it for a few weeks."

You giggle as you look over your shoulder to the fireplace. "Did someone ever suck you off in front of a fireplace? Isn't this the definition of Christmas?"

The man underneath you gasps in shock. "No, but… I mean, I… You don't… have to?"

Laughing, you slide out of his lap and onto the floor, thankful for the soft carpet. "I want to, bubs. I wouldn't do something either of us isn't comfortable with. I assume you're alright with it?"

"Of course, but… I guess nobody ever did it because they wanted to, but because they feel like they had to?"

You raise an eyebrow at him, obviously disappointed in his previous partners. 

"It's as much fun and pleasure for me as it is for you, believe me, Yoon. Now lay back and enjoy, yeah?" You give him a calming smile as you open his pants carefully, then sliding them down his toned legs.

You press kisses all around his thighs to warm him up to the feeling, knowing that it has to be overwhelming to have some that close after all that time. Then, you gently remove his boxer shorts as well, leaving him bare and proud in front of you.

You groan as you start to stroke his cock, earning a low growl from Yoongi. "So beautiful," you whisper, then you take him into your mouth, getting a feeling for the weight on your tongue before you start bopping your head. 

Yoongi tries to contain himself, knowing that Ara could wake up every second, but alone the sight in front of him could make him come with a scream.

Instead, he cups your cheek, feeling the bulge that he causes there. Another groan leaves his lips. 

You look up at him, smirking-or trying to, with a mouth full of cock-and leading his hand into your hair, using it to push you down even more.

Yoongi's eyes lighten up. "Really?"

You almost laugh out, but you're doing your best to contain yourself and nod, placing your hands on his thighs to stop whenever you can't take it anymore. Yoongi is long and thicker than the average you've had before, but it's a challenge that's worth it.

He pushes you down slowly, enjoying the hot warmth of your mouth and then your throat as he pushes in-surprised that you didn't really gag around him.

Spit trickles down your chin as he moves faster, thrusting his hips to meet the movements of his hand and enjoying the gurgling sounds you make.

He comes far to quick for his own liking, shooting his load down your throat with a quiet groan. "Fuck."

You giggle as you swallow what he gives you, standing up to sit back on his lap to kiss him.

"You're welcome." 

Then, before you can grab your wine again, he flips you around and goes on his knees in front of you. "My turn," he smirks, eyes shining dangerously behind his fringe. 

"Yoongi, I-," you try to say, but he shushes you with a sloppy kiss.

"I know that I have to, but believe me: I love giving pleasure more than receiving it."

You pout, hands running through his soft hair.

"I didn't shave…," you whisper, a bit ashamed because you didn't come prepared, not thinking that this would be happening today.

The man in front of you raises an eyebrow.

"Do you think I am a 15 year old, pre puberty fuckboy that cares about shaved pussies? It's natural, love. Even if you can't believe it: I grow hair too, nobody is freshly shaved every day. I don't mind that, okay? Now, stop pouting and let me do my work, will you? Can you be a good girl and do that for me? All you've got to do is lean back, open your legs, throw them around my shoulders and let me devour you."

His shameless words turn you on, you can't even deny it-especially not when your panties are that damp. So, you naturally obey and help him to remove your pants.

"I told you, peach is your color," Yoongi groans in his deep Satoori as he looks at your clothed core. The peach colored lace has darkened from your arousal and the man can't help it but press his face against the material, licking one bold stripe over it.

Nobody has ever done that to you, rather pulled them off in a hurry because they thought that body fluids were disgusting, but Yoongi didn't seem to mind as he gently bites your folds through the lace. 

"God," you moan in pleasure as Yoongi finally pulls your panties to the side and spits onto your pussy, making it even wetter.

You're a whimpering mess as soon as Yoongi's tongue is on you, flicking and playing with your clit, collecting your juices and spreading them all over your pussy. You've read about that before; men eating pussy like they're starving, but Yoongi is somewhat different.

He eats pussy like he wants you to always remind it, to make you obedient and never being able to enjoy anyone else doing that job.

He does it well-of course. His tongue is as fast as he's been spitting rhymes on his mixtape, and you're more than thankful for that.

He doesn't even get to use his fingers before your orgasm approaches you, strong waves of pleasure hitting you as Yoongi keeps on kissing and slowly licking you through your high.

Then, he grins at you. "Round two, here we go."

And this time, it's not only his tongue working wonders, but also his fingers stroking you on the inside until they found your spot. 

You press your hands on your mouth to keep yourself from screaming out loud, hips bucking wildly as you come for a second time within less than ten minutes. And again, Yoongi guides you through it and softly caresses your stomach.

"Fuck, I love you," you pant as he comes back up and steals a kiss from you.

"I can't wait to have you in my bed properly," he whispers and takes a large sip from his wine. 

You can only agree.

You've started to spend the nights at Yoongi's more often, bringing Ara to work with you and helping Yoongi with her and the household whenever you can. Your relationship blooms beautifully and Ara is the happiest little bean when you're around.

Obviously, you spent Christmas with Yoongi and Ara as well, buying little presents and enjoying the comfortable atmosphere with the family.

Yoongi gave you a spare key to his house, so you're always able to visit them, spending the nights there and soon enough, you moved in.

❄❄❄❄

The Christmas after that, you surprised Ara with the adoption papers, telling her that now that she's in school and not one of your kindergarten kids anymore, she'll be able to finally call you Mommy (not that Ara minded before, you just felt weird and guilty about it).

And here you are now, preparing the huge breakfast for your third Christmas around, smiling at the ring that adorns your finger. 

"Smells fabulous, Mama," Ara says as she runs towards you and falls into your arms.

"Do you want me to help you with dessert, Mrs Min?" Yoongi asks as he presses a kiss onto your cheeks. You lean into his touch, shaking your head. "It's almost done. You can go into the living room, I'll be there in a minute to open our presents, bubs."

Yoongi prepares the fireplace, lightens some candles with Ara and lets his daughter hand out the presents. 

"I have one more for you, Yoon," you whisper as you hand him a small box.

"Oh? Can I open this first?" He tilts his head curiously, shaking the light box.

"Open!" Ara squeaks and sits down between her father and you. You nod with a fond smile as Yoongi lifts the top. Then, silence.

"Really?" He whispers with teary eyes.

"Yes, finally," you smile, "Ara, you'll become a big sister!"

Yoongi sniffs, hugging his family tight.

"And she'll be the best sister in the world. Merry Christmas, loves."

[rendevousz]

not a lonely birthday

teen!actress!reader x platonic!jeremy renner

brief reader x marvel cast

req by @maximeevansblog : The reader (me ) is dating jeremy renner its the readers birtday, and jeremy renner spoiling her, taking to the hair salon and to the nail salon , and the trows a party for her, and he asks her to marry him, and a couple months later the reader is asked to been on say yes to the dress and alot of fluff please (i'm so sorry i couldn't write your exact request. i added the other cast too but it's still mainly jeremy renner so i hope you enjoy this still)

summary: you thought you were gonna have to spend your birthday alone but jeremy had other plans.

word count: 3296

note: i told her i couldn't really write romance because my blog is mainly teen!reader and she said i could just turn it into an x teen!reader so i did. i mean, i can write a non teen!reader but it probably won't be anytime soon so i'm not taking requests that aren't x teen!reader as of now <33

"are you sure you'll be okay?"

"yes, mum, i'll be fine here. i've been doing fine for the past two and a half months, what's another week without you guys gonna do to me?" you told your mother on the phone, rolling your eyes at her excessive, unnecessary worrying.

"we're so sorry about this, sweetheart," you heard your dad speak and you figured he must've been listening the whole time. your mum must've had it on speaker since the beginning of the phone call.

"you shouldn't have to spend your birthday all alone. i promise we'll make it up to you, honey." your mother spoke again and you groaned. "i keep telling you that it's fine. and what do you take me for, a loner? i've got the others here, mum, i'll be fine." you told her, a smile ghosting over your lips at how concerned she is of you.

your birthday was coming in two days and having a whole movie to film meant that you weren't allowed to leave the country for just a weekend to celebrate it with your family. so, they worked around your schedule and planned a trip to visit. unfortunately, your idiot of a brother managed to get himself into a skating accident and had to be hospitalised, affecting their whole plan of coming to celebrate your 18th birthday with you. well, not on the day of your birthday, at least.

"i'll make sure sarah'll bring you out to celebrate, okay? i'm so sorry about this, y/n." you could practically hear the pout in her voice and you held back the urge to tell her off for profusely apologising, you didn't want to receive a beating when she finally arrives here.

"i'll be fine, mum," you whined. "as i said, i'll be filming on my birthday too so i'll at least be with the cast then. it's never a dull day with them. and i'll be waiting for your gift from sarah on my birthday." you teased her. you knew she had a habit of getting birthday gifts way too early. for once, she was grateful for that because she had given sarah—your manager and also a family friend— your birthday present for her to safe-keep in case anything like this happened and she couldn't give it to you on your birthday.

"i'll give you permission to whack your brother once we come." your dad tells you seriously and you laughed. "thanks, dad. i'll be sure to remember it. anyways, i have to get back on set soon. i'll talk to you guys when i can?"

"of course, honey. have fun on set!" your parents bid you goodbye and you hung up with an adoring smile on your face. you missed your family and having been able to hear your parents' voices for a mere five minutes was enough to cure it for even just a little bit. sure, you were disappointed that you weren't going to get to spend your birthday with them but spending it doing what you love—acting— with the people, aside from your family and friends from home, that you love—the cast— didn't sound so bad.

"i'm so sorry about this, darling." you heard someone say, effectively breaking your train of thoughts. you turned to the source of the voice, meeting the hazel eyes of your manager and long-time family friend, sarah. she pulls you in for a hug that you groaned into but still returned. you rolled your eyes playfully when she let go. "i'm not upset, sarah."

"i know. but you're disappointed." she says softly, fixing your costume after the hug messed it up a little. "maybe i am, but it doesn't matter. i chose this life so technically i brought all of this upon myself. i signed up to have a normal life stripped away from me." you told her honestly, internally cringing because you hadn't meant to get that deep.

"y/n," her hands rested on both of your shoulders and she looks down at you with that stern mum glare she'd give you whenever you were being a little troublemaker. she was practically your second mum, having promised your own that she'd take care of you whenever you had to travel for filming.

"i know, i know, i'm sorry. i didn't mean it in a bad way. i love my job but it sucks that i have to be far away from family, you know?" you sighed. "i understand, darling. it's hard but hey, i'll be with you the whole day, okay? we'll go out and have a nice girl's day out together, do whatever you want. that sound nice to you?" she places a gentle hand against your skin, careful not to rub the fake dirt and wound makeup on your face.

"that sounds great, sarah. i have only a half day of filming that day, right?" you ask her, knowing she remembers your schedule better than you yourself do. "yup. anyways, they need you on set 3. get out there and make me proud, darling."

-

"and....cut!" the director called out and you dramatically dropped limp against the wire harness attached to your body, the wires holding up your weight so you didn't drop down to the floor but also didn't have to remain standing on your own.

you heard sebastian laughing, him being the closest to you in the scene you had just filmed. "you tired, y/n/n?" evans chuckled as he walked towards where you and seb were standing. "yeah, i just wanna sleep right now." you told them, standing up on your own when a crew member wanted to get your harness off.

"well, at least you get to rest now. you're done for the day right?" seb asked, the three of you now walking to the snack table together. "yeah but sarah wanted to take me out so maybe not rest but i'll get to relax. that's good enough," you say, peeling off a banana and taking a bite while the two men drank some water.

"she's taking you out later today? is there a special occasion?" chris asked and you smiled at him. "nah, nothing much. she just thought i've been stressed lately." you lied. you didn't want to seem attention-seeking for telling chris and sebastian that it was your birthday so you settled on a little lie.

"she's not wrong. you have been working hard and you deserve a relaxing evening off work." seb agreed.

"oh she's walking over here right now. are you going now?" chris asked, eyes trained behind you as he watched sarah coming closer. you turned around, meeting her frown-etched face and you blinked profusely in confusion. "i thought we're going in two hours?"

"y/n, i'm so sorry. some stuff came up and i have last minute errands to run all day," she told you, offering a guilty expression when your face dropped slightly. "oh.. i– um, yeah, it's fine."

"are you sure it's fine? i promised you though," she frowned. "it's fine, i know you have a lot to handle and it's totally fine if we don't go out today. i'll just take a nap and be on netflix all day, i guess." you joked but sarah didn't laugh. "sarah, it's fine. you know i've been wanting to catch up on a list of shows. when else will i be able to do this?" you assured her, trying to mask your disappointment.

"i have to go now. i'll make it up to you, darling, i promise." she gave you a hug before running off somewhere. you felt bad for her because she probably had to be running here and there all day but it didn't change that you were disappointed. maybe you really did deserve this for choosing this life.

"hey kiddo," you felt someone ruffle your hair and you were almost going to go off on them for doing that before remembering you had just finished your last scene for the day. an arm rested over your shoulder and you looked up to see jeremy taking over sarah's previous spot.

"um excuse me? do we not exist?" chris joked when jeremy didn't greet him nor seb. jeremy rolled his eyes at them, turning back to look down at you. "you did great today, kiddo." he complimented and you smiled, thanking him.

"wow okay, i guess we really don't exist, huh? c'mon seb, let's go somewhere else where people appreciate our presence." evans sassed, glaring at you two as both men strutted away.

"good riddance," jeremy said, dropping his arm so that you two were now face to face. "happy birthday, y/n." he says, handing you a little bronze coloured box. you gasped as you took it in your hands.

"how'd you know it was my birthday?" you asked him, eyes wide in surprise. "of course i know your birthday, kiddo. after all, you are my favourite co-star." he grins, gesturing for you to open the box.

you did and your hand immediately flew to cover your mouth in shock. "jeremy! you didn't!" you gently took out the necklace from the box, examining it closely. the charm was in the shape of your favourite animal and the chain was gold. this must've costed him a fortune.

"jeremy, you didn't have to!" you exclaimed, pouting at him to prevent yourself from bursting into tears right then and there. "kiddo, i love you a lot, how could i not?"

playing clint's adopted, eldest daughter in the films, as well as a member of the avengers, you and jeremy worked together a lot. he helped you a lot with practicing your lines and emotions for specific scenes and you bonded over so many things you two had in common. even off set jeremy still acted like your father so practically everyone knew how close you two were. if sarah is considered your second mum, you'd say jeremy is your second dad.

"so i heard sarah bailed on your birthday date today," he says as he helped you put on the necklace, smiling fondly when you looked down at it happily. "thanks a lot, jeremy. you really didn't have to," you hugged him tight, the man chuckling as he hugged you back.

"and sarah didn't bail. she just has errands to run all day. can't blame her, she's a busy woman." you told him. "yeah yeah, anyways, how 'bout i take you out instead? a birthday lunch and a day out with your favourite cast mate?" he wiggles his eyebrows at you, a smirk playing on his lips.

"you don't have anymore scenes to shoot?" you ask. "i do but i have plenty of time before then." he replies. you agreed happily and he tells you to meet him outside the set in an hour so you two could change out of your costumes.

-

"you ready for the best day ever, kiddo?" jeremy asks as you entered the passenger seat. "best day ever? then shouldn't we invite the rest?" you teased, buckling your seatbelt. "hey! i'm pretty fun too!"

you chuckled at his childishness. "i'm kidding, you are fun. now let's go already, i'm starving." you complained and he started the engine, letting you play whatever songs you wanted as background to your small talk.

you had lunch first at your favourite restaurant but not before you two had a debate of whether you were allowed to because you were supposed to be on a diet during the length of the movie shooting and him ultimately going 'to hell with that diet, it's your special day' and then dragging you in. after that, he said he had a surprise for you and told you to just get in the car.

when he finally stopped somewhere, you realised it was a pretty well known hair salon in town and you tilted your head in confusion. why would he bring you here?

"you said you wanted to dye your hair, didn't you? let's do it." he says nonchalantly, unbuckling his seatbelt before you both exited the car. "are you crazy? we're still in the middle of filming!" you exclaim in disbelief. this man was crazy.

"yeah but it's not like they can't just get a wig of your current hair and use that for the rest of the filming. scar and lizzie wear wigs all the time, you can too. now let's go dye that stupid colour you want!" he cheers, tugging you along with him by your wrist, into the salon. you chuckled at his antics, letting him drag you.

the next hour or two was spent with you worrying that your parents would kill you for this, or worse, anthony or joe. you knew it would be a meltdown for them if you came back with your hair a completely different colour.

jeremy assured you that the russos, as well as your parents, would not get mad at this but you were pretty sure you'd get an earful from both pairs. you made him promise that he would talk to both parties that he was the one who convinced you to do this. but once your hair was done, all worries flew out the window as you admired your new hair.

"you look great, kiddo. this colour looks good on you." he looks at you with a fond smile, trying to resist the urge to ruffle your newly done hair but failing. you pouted at him when he did so, reaching up to fix it again. "sorry, y/n/n, couldn't resist," he states, pinching your cheek.

"alright, next stop now, let's go!" he pulls you by the wrist once again and you let him, used to him doing this already. the next time he stopped, you damn right almost had another heart attack because again, this man was crazy.

he did not just bring you to a nail place. surely he isn't about to let you get your nails done, right? the russos would have your head and his too if you were to get them done and casually get back to the studio.

"no." you said firmly, crossing your arms over your chest as you stayed seated in the passenger seat. "c'mon, y/n/n," he whined, throwing a tantrum outside the car door as he tried to get you to leave the car.

"no, jeremy, they'll literally send me back here to get it off because in case you forgot, in all my scenes, i don't have fancy nails." you reasoned, noticing that jeremy has now moved to your side of the car and the passenger seat door has now been opened, the man continuing to make a fuss closer to you now.

"no they will not, i'll make sure they don't. c'mon kiddo, it's your birthday, let's have a little fun!" he says but you were still unsure about the whole thing. "i don't know.."

"okay fine i guess i'll tell you this now. they didn't want to tell you until later today because they wanted it to be your kinda birthday present but your avenger suit has changed. it's not like the one in the last movie, it's got gloves now! and the rest of your scenes excluding the last few ones are all in your superhero suit right?" your eyes widened at this new information, a smile growing on your lips.

"wait, for real? are you sure they're not just fingerless gloves?" he smiles down at you. "yeah. i planned this day well, okay? put some trust in me, geez," he sassed, moving out of your way as you finally exited the car.

"this better not be a joke, renner, because if it is, i'll have your head." you threatened jokingly. "yeah, yeah. oh also, can you just pretend to be shocked when they tell you about your suit upgrade? because i really wasn't supposed to tell you this." he scratched the back of his head awkwardly as you walked two walked into the nail salon.

the entire time, he awkwardly sat at the side, waiting for you to be done. when you were though, he quickly got up, as if he had been restless sitting down the whole time.

"they're pretty," he says as you walked back to his car. "yeah, i really like them. haven't had my nails done in a long time." you replied, getting in the car and waiting for jeremy to get in on his side. once he did, he immediately started the engine and started driving back to the set where he had to continue shooting and where you knew sarah would be waiting for you.

it was after many different topics and finally arriving outside the set did you decide to get a little emotional. "hey, i just wanna say thanks for today. i thought i was gonna spend the day alone watching netflix all day like some loser but you made this day really enjoyable. you have no idea how much this really means to me, thank you so much jeremy. i love you." you pouted at him, trying not to cry. "aw kiddo, of course. you're an important person to me. couldn't let you be a loser on your special day," he teases, bringing you into a hug where he didn't miss his chance to ruffle your hair.

once you let go, he kept an arm around your shoulder as you both walked in. he opened the door for you both and you almost jumped in place.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

your jaw dropped at the sight in front you. every single one of your co-stars, along with some crew members were wearing party hats holding up a banner that said 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Y/N'. sarah was in the middle, holding a huge birthday cake with a smile on her face. you slowly walked towards her, hand over your mouth in shock.

sarah gave the cake over to robert before opening her arms up for you. you gave her a tight hug. "you didn't have to do all this," you say, letting go of her. "jeremy and i planned this right when your mother called beforehand and told me they couldn't come in time." she explained.

you turned to jeremy who had been standing next to you the whole time, giving him another hug which he happily accepted. "you guys didn't have to." you told them, trying not to cry at the thought that these people loved you enough to do this for you.

"but we wanted to. and the rest wanted to join in too. now before you start bawling your eyes out, let's get this party started!" he cheered.

"but before that, make a wish, kiddo." robert tells you after evans finished lighting up all the candles. you closed your eyes, making a wish and blowing them all out. everyone cheered before walking away to grab food or to talk to others. or in your cast mates' cases, fighting over who gets to give you your present first.

"you knew it was my birthday!" you exclaimed when you locked eyes with evans, who was in the middle of a brawl with both mackie and robert. he laughed out loud. "yeah! i did! your lie couldn't fool me, child!" he says dramatically, before being pushed aside by robert.

you laughed as they continued to fight right in front of you about who you love more and therefore getting to be first to give you their gift. they even managed to slip in a few compliments about your new hair, while they were literally fighting. you watched in glee, realising that even if your biological family couldn't make it for your special day, you still had a second one to make it special.

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