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#It really doesn't matter either way cause I'm saying it now
solenstelluna · 5 months
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You know what they say.
When in a drought, it's always ok to upload old stuff you never felt like posting before.
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talkorsomething · 4 months
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genuinely tried to Be Asleep for like two hours this time and just couldn't. I think i'm cursed [unwell]
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#feels pretty much like the first night i got sick (remember that breakdown? lol) except this time i have Overcome the illness#mostly anyways.#but yeah i'm just. augh. not only do i have to deal with literal nightly thoughts of sh now i can't even sleep?!#my curse of Hearing Things immediately working against me the moment i can't hear things clearly#cause ... now i REALLY don't know whats going on#like i know it's not my business and shouldn't be my business but a) i live here and b) i have to hear it either way.#just ... yeah. now that we're probably as settled in as things are gonna get i REALLY do not feel like i'm meant to be here#not in general; as in this physical actual space. there's no thought that something should be made for all of us since they have work#& i ... well i do but [redacted]. so it's the work i make for myself mostly. but yeah so it doesn't matter if nobody sees me eat breakfast#(dont care about that anyways) and it doesnt matter that nobody sees me eat dinner (maybe i care A Little ok) because the whoooole rest of#the day is nebulous Lunch Time. and oh boy let me tell you. i'm not having that either#cause uhm. 'you can eat our food' only means so much until money comes into the equation#like BOY if i thought i was messed up about that before let me tell you: it has become Worse#i dunno. i try to have good days and yet the moment its Asleep Time i am someone completely different#like ... it's like seasonal depressiom but WORSE because theres SUNLIGHT and i LOVE SUNLIGHT#no yeah i think that's exactly the sort of thing i can liken it to now that i think of it#cause i always have like... seasonal issues when it starts gettin dark around 4-5ish range. except right now its summer so its NOT#wish i knew how to really be normal. then maybe at least if i wouldnt have good music making material i could like. meaningfully contribute#to my existence as a roommate#'i'm doing great' says man who is somehow Still Not#relatedly i think my next public facing breakdown is either gonna be about this still or about spinning in the pride parade. time will tell#....i can hear them AGAIN i know why IM up why are THEY#/bangs on wall Go To Sleeeeep leave me alone to also sleep T_T#that's ... that's a joke by the way i'm not doing that. i do feel more tired now so maybe i will have somewhat restful sleep. hopefully
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luveline · 5 months
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Hotch request! Please sir, can I have a Hotch request? I'm trying to follow what you said about comfort but also Hotch being angry. So I get low blood sugars cause of my diabetes and I'd love if you wrote something about them being on a case and BAU!Reader is really busy trying to get stuff done, so she has a bad low blood sugar and sits down but one of the local officers thinks she's slacking off so she tries to keep going and Hotch comes in and defends her, making sure she has everything she needs and doesn't faint. Love you <3
ty for requesting!! hope this is okay <3 fem, 1.3k
“I understand.” You frown, phone pressed to your ear hard. “I totally understand, but it’s really important that I get to talk to her.” 
“She’s on heavy medication,” the nurse replies, unimpressed by your asking, “she wouldn’t be much use anyhow.” 
“I understand, but–”
“Listen, I’m sorry, but we have a lot to do here. I’m sorry we can’t help. Bye.” 
You groan in frustration, bringing your phone from your ear to see the Call Disconnected notification flash across your screen. How are you and the team ever supposed to get answers if nobody wants to help? Your head rushes. You kid yourself into believing it’s annoyance like a hot flash, you’ve been sweaty for ages, but then reality cuts through. What usually makes you sweaty and dizzy?
“Where’s my test kit?” you murmur to yourself. 
The door opens while you’re looking through your bag. 
“Agent,” Officer Debs greets, a stout, sturdy woman with sharp eyes, “any news from Georgetown Psychiatric?” 
You rummage frustratedly through your things. You should know better than to misplace your test kit. Doesn’t matter. You’ll just have to eat something quickly before you get any worse. “Uh, no, nothing they could help me with.” 
“Did you call them?” 
Your eyelids are getting heavier. You sit down on impulse, worried you’re gonna fall if you stay standing. “Yeah, I called them.” You’ve had diabetes for long enough to know what to do, but it’s always harder than it felt the last time when your blood sugar drops. It can be so sudden. 
Realising you might need help, you clear your throat, about to ask Officer Debs if she can get the glucose tablets from your bag. You should’ve grabbed them —your thoughts are starting to thicken like someone’s poured cornflour into your skull. 
“Is now the best time for a break?” Officer Debs asks. 
You focus very hard on bringing your attention into the present. “No, sorry,” you say, standing up. You open your phone and direct to the contacts page, clicking your favourite contact at the very top. 
Don’t know m where test kit is, you text clumsily. Hotch should still be in the precinct. Do u have it ? 
“I hope you’re texting someone about the case,” Officer Debs says sternly. 
You shove your phone into your pocket. “Um,” you say, getting confused now, and not wanting to be shouted at. You grab for the page of phone numbers you’d been making your way through, can’t get your hands to work. “I wasn’t. But I’m getting to it.” 
“We really don’t have time to waste.” 
“I know, but my blood sugar–”
She talks over you. “What’s the point in all our officers working day and night when you FBI agents can’t be bothered to put in the same effort?” Her voice rises. “It’s ridiculous!”
“It’s not ridiculous, we’re trying our best just like you are.”
“Clearly not!” 
“My blood sugar,” you say, more insistently. “Stop shouting at me.” 
The door opens quickly, creaking hard on its hinge. Hotch doesn’t slam it open, he never slams anything, but he doesn’t hesitate either. “I have it, you left it in the car after you tested this morning,” he says, your kit in his hand. He gives Officer Debs a surprised up and down. “Who’s shouting?” he asks, unimpressed. 
You wouldn’t like to be on his bad side. “Hotch, I need a tablet.” 
If he’s shocked at your lethargy, he doesn’t say. He ignores the officer from that point on. “Yes, I think so, too.” 
Hotch is more efficient than you were, grabbing your tube of glucose tablets and shaking one out into his hand. “Can you take it yourself?” 
“You want to chew it for me?” you ask. 
He tips it into your palm. “Very funny.” 
He opens the test kit on the desk and starts to extract the pieces. It’s quite complicated, especially for people unfamiliar with it, but you’re pretty sure Hotch learned how to use it the day he knew you had diabetes. He wipes his hands with an alcohol wipe and presses a test strip into the meter, careful not to touch the end, before wiping your finger with a new wipe, and readying the lancing stick. 
“Gonna stick you, okay?” he asks quietly.
“Mm,” you hum, the glucose tablet like chalk between your teeth. 
He sticks you. Some days it feels more painful than other days, but today it’s like a pinprick in a haze. He squeezes your finger, wipes the first drop of blood with a cotton ball, and dips the test strip into the second bead of blood, careful not to jab your cut. 
In the five seconds it takes for you to get a result on the meter, he kneels down, pressing another cotton ball to your finger to stem the flow of blood. “Good,” he murmurs to you. The meter flashes on the table. “Not so good. Fifty nine, huh? How’d that happen?” 
You shake your head slowly from one side to another. “I’ve no idea.” 
“Okay. Well, that tablet’s not gonna do it, honey. Do you have any gels?” 
“No,” you say apologetically. 
“That’s fine. I’ll get you a drink.” 
Officer Debs clears her throat. You may be foggy, but her awkwardness is palpable. “I’ll get it.”
“It has to be full sugar. Coke, if you can,” Hotch says. She nods in understanding and leaves in record time. Hotch turns back to you, his severity melting away. “She was shouting at you?”
“Tried to tell her about my blood sugar. She told me we’re not here to waste time.” You close your mouth, licking the glucose off of your teeth.
“How did you get so low?” he asks.
“Must have done something wrong this morning. Am I okay?” 
“We’ll see. I think you’ll be alright.” 
“Don’t usually get so dizzy.” 
“When was the last time you were below seventy?” 
“Don’t know,” you mumble. 
Hotch peels the cotton ball from your finger and packs your things away cleanly. “Let’s see how you feel in ten minutes. After your coke. Now… what did the Officer say to you?” 
He’s getting his facts straight. Again, you wouldn’t like to be on his bad side. You relay your conversation, Officer Debs hadn’t even been that bad, just uppity, stuck on her own assumptions rather than willing to listen when you’d needed a hand. Her lack of empathy could’ve really affected you. Low blood sugar is no joke. 
You tell him, savouring in the warmth of his hand on your leg, how uncaring he is to be kneeling in front of you on the precinct floor. He frowns at you long and hard. 
By the time Officer Debs returns, he’s on his feet again. “A word?” he asks her. 
You don’t hear all of what he’s saying through the door as you sip your coke. He doesn’t shout, but he defends you with a heavy gravity. Officer Debs speaks up and he cuts her down, something about understanding, and then a more clear telling off, “I don’t want to hear about Agent L/N’s performance from you again. She’s my agent, and if she needs a break, she’ll take one. It’s none of your concern.” 
“I understand.” 
You feel much peppier when he comes back in, though he appears less so. “You’re nasty,” you say, smiling, happy to be defended, and happier to know you’re not gonna pass out.
He crosses the room. Still frowning, he takes your face into his hands, and he leans down inch by inch, until he’s pressing a soft, soft kiss to your lips. You barely have time to close your eyes before he’s pulling away, thumb pressed into your soft cheek. “Nobody gets to shout at you. Especially over your blood sugar.” 
“It’s usually you telling me off for letting it get low,” you mumble. 
He stands up straight, leaving you wanting for another kiss you won’t get, hands stolen back from your cheeks. “You’re ageing me prematurely. Drink some more coke, please, sweetheart.” 
“What do I get in return?” 
He touches your face briefly, as much of a promise as you’re going to get. 
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itsmarsss · 4 months
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Vulgar Display of Power [Miguel Diaz x fem!Reader] (Cobra Kai)
You can never fucking beat him in a fight and it's getting frustrating.
Request: omg more miguel please!!! smutty if u can xx already dating if you want? Fic title comes from my (second) favorite Pantera album. Word count: 4,350 Warnings: SMUT. established relationship, theres plot but it only serves to justify the sex lol, i use present tense in this, degrading, first time sub!miguel kind of, handjob, fingering, oral sex, penetration (p in v), semi-public sex (i guess? no one's around but the location isn't exactly private), a lot of use of pet names (baby, babe, love, mi amor), so much swearing. obviously no one is a minor here I don't mention much context but can be read as hs senior year or later, doesn't really matter. if you're a minor kindly keep away from my blog and this fic please
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“Fuck!”  You yell out as Sensei Lawrence announces Miguel’s win. In turn of your frustration, Miguel sports a grin that playfully mocked you.
Now don’t get it twisted, you’re not a bad fighter. You’re not even a good one- you’re great. The best, except for…
“Diaz! Good one.” Sensei Lawrence praises.
“Nice, dude!” Hawk comes to fist bump him.
Tory comes to you. “Girl get it together! You’re better than that!”
“I’m fucking trying.”
Miguel hears the two of you talking and decides to insert himself into the conversation. “Come on, it’s not a big deal.”
“I say this with love but it is a big deal and I’m gonna find a way to beat you.”
“Okay. Whatever you say.”
[. . .]
“Hey,” you hear Miguel call from behind you, turning around for a split second to look at him before getting back to packing your stuff to leave the dojo. 
“Hey.”
“So, are we still on for tonight?”
“Yeah. I just wanna go home first and take a shower.”
He scratches the back of his neck. “Hey are you okay?”
“What do you mean?”
“Something seems… weird.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, babe,” you tell him, bringing a hand to his face and lightly tapping his cheek.
“You sure?”
“Yes! I just said it is!” You realize you blew up at him for no reason, immediately feeling bad for it and apologizing, not managing to look at him. “Sorry.”
“See? That’s what I mean!”
“I really am sorry.”
“Okay, but something’s clearly wrong.”
You stay silent, and he walks up to you, cornering you so you’d face him.
“What’s going on?”
Honestly, you don’t want to tell him. Because it would sound stupid. Because it is stupid. You don’t even exactly know why it had gotten so under your skin this time. 
“It’s fine. I’m just a bit off today.”
“You don’t have to talk about it, but you don't have to lie either.”
“Fine. You wanna know what’s wrong? I’m frustrated because you keep beating me.”
“What?”
“Every single time we’re picked to fight I just can’t fucking beat you. And yes, I’m glad you don’t go easy on me, cause that would be like a million times worse, but I'm frustrated with myself. You’re the only one I've never fully beat in a match. The closest I’ve ever gotten to that was a tie.”
“Well most of the time it ends up in a tie.” 
“Yeah but none of the time did it end with me winning.”
“I don’t understand why you’re so upset about this.”
“Of course you don’t. I just feel like if I still can’t beat you then have I really been getting better?”
“What? That’s nonsense, babe. You know that, right? Of course you’ve been getting better. We all have.”
“See I told you it would be stupid. I don't even know why I'm feeling this way.”
“That’s okay. We can just sort that out.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ll ask sensei for the keys.”
“What?”
“We’re gonna stay here and fight and we’re not gonna leave until you win.”
“That’s really not what I was trying to get from this-”
“What, are you scared?” He knew just how to tug on your strings. 
“Oh fuck no.”
“Then we’re doing this.”
“But what about the date?”
“We can go tomorrow. If you need my help today, I'll help you today.”
“Okay.”
[. . .]
“Alright, ready?”
You only nod your head yes, too focused to even speak.
“Okay. Round one.”
You get a couple punches in, but he’s faster than most of your hits. He wins..
You huff, annoyed. “Again.”
“Again.”
“Again.”
“Again.”
“Again.”
“Okay that’s it. Again.”
This time, determination runs through your veins, as tired as you were. Every single moment of feeling weak or inferior or as though you were seen by others as basically the female equivalent of Miguel, and not yourself, not someone capable of being better than him in any way, channeled into this round. 
And you won. This time, you fucking won. 
“Wait that’s three,” you realize.
“Yeah! You won!” Miguel celebrates.
“What?”
“You won, babe!”
“Oh my God. Holy fucking shit. I won?!”
He laughs, coming up to you. “You did.” He places a quick kiss on your lips, but you’re taken over by the adrenaline, pulling him back to you by the collar of his shirt when he went to pull away, tangling him into another kiss, deeper and more passionate this time around. “That was hot,” he comments, as you finally did let him part ways with you to breathe, your bodies still flushed together. 
You feel your cheeks burn at his comment. “I just kicked your ass,” you joke.
He doesn’t even seem fazed by the comment. “Yeah you did,” he grins.
“I did not expect that to unlock some sort of loser kink in you.”
“Hey! That’s not what this is!”
You lift an eyebrow, amused. 
“What, you’re telling me it’s a crime if my insanely hot girlfriend looks insanely hot while kicking my ass?”
“Should I kick your ass more often then?”
“You’re welcome to.”
“You’re so weird.”
“Shut up,” he retorts, finally having enough of the playful bantering, unable to wait a second longer to have your lips on his again. 
Miguel pulls you even closer to him- if that were even possible- by pulling on your waist, not wasting a second more before diving in again, pulling you into a kiss that is much more feral this time around. His actions scream that he wants you, and the high from having reached your goal and beat him in the last round mixed with the lust forming in you from seeing him so affected, so attracted to this, it feels good.
You suppose some people would maybe come into an issue if they found themselves in your place. Men aren’t exactly known for being great at dealing with women being better than them in… well, anything. But Miguel acted genuinely proud of you. Hell, he’d canceled your date night to help you with this because he realized it was important to you. And more than being supportive, he was turned on by your display of power. 
His kisses start trailing out of your lips, to your jaw, to the space below your ear. “You did so well, love. You should get something in turn, huh?”
Your mind was getting a bit foggy. Still, you join in playing his game. “I suppose I should. What are you gonna do?”
“Whatever you want me to,” he breathes out. Oh. That was definitely new. 
“Whatever I want?” He only nods, looking up at you, waiting to be told what to do. Holy shit, that was hot. “That sounds good.”
“Just tell me, please, I’ll make you feel so good, I promise,” he pleads. It was almost pathetic. You decide you’d never get enough of hearing him plead like that. You loved the times in which he was more dominant, but you could definitely get behind this too, no issues whatsoever.
You pretend to think. “I don’t think I will.”
“What? Why not?”
“I want you to guess.”
“What?”
“You heard me.”
“I- Uh- Ih-” he takes a deep breath. He liked that. You smiled. “I can do that.”
“Good boy,” you try, hoping he didn’t find it weird. 
Apparently, he didn’t. “Fuck. Fuck,” he lets out in almost strangled sounds, wordlessly dropping himself to the floor. He looks up at you with doe eyes, as if pleading for permission. You smile at him, signaling everything was okay. You cage his jaw with both your hands, and he closes his eyes for a moment, letting you play with his hair.
“You look so pretty like this,” you coo, and he feels it down his spine, his eyes fluttering open. 
“Sit.”
“What?”
“Sit,” he repeats himself, but it isn’t demanding. Not this time. 
“I heard you.”
“Sit, please, baby.”
You grin. You didn’t know you’d like this this much. “Of course, baby.” You sit down on the bench, legs closed. He parts them confidently, eyes not leaving yours as he does so slowly, positioning his body between them. With his face mere inches from yours, he looks up at you again. 
“Do you want me to kiss you?” He guesses. His cheeks red, he clearly looks embarrassed. It turned him on and it turned you on too. 
You nod eagerly, signaling he’d guessed right. He smiles and closes the distance between you, pulling you down and attaching his lips to yours. It starts out slow, tender, experimental- testing the waters. He grows eager pretty fast, though, kissing you harder, his hands traveling to either of your thighs and planting themselves there firmly, squeezing in a way that makes you gasp slightly in surprise. 
He pulls away just to tease you about it. That’s the kind of little shit he is.
“What was that for?”
“Nothing.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” 
“Not this then?”
He squeezes your thigh again and you try to act unbothered.” He notices though, pleased with himself.
“Oh shut up.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You didn’t have to.”
He pulls you into a kiss again with no warning, more feral than before, his hand traveling upwards, inside the legs of the shorts you were wearing. 
“Take it off,” you pant out, a stern tone overtaking your words, and he complies without questioning. You smile, pleased with that. You lift your hips slightly for him and he throws the shorts somewhere on the floor behind you. 
He stares at your underwear for a few moments, as if lost in a trance. You laugh. “Hello? You here?”
“Yeah. Sorry. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this.”
“Used to what?” You move a hand to caress his face. 
“The fact that I’m the only one who gets to see you like this.”
“Aw, do you like that, baby? Does it turn you on?” You ask, your tone almost mocking him.
He only nods his head yes, looking embarrassed.
“That’s good.” You make a show to slowly take off your shirt, a sudden surge of confidence running through your veins at his words, discarding it along with the shorts behind you.  His eyes widen and he mumbles a few words, the volume of his words so low you couldn’t make it out for the life of you, before he just surges forward again, not aiming for your lips this time, but for your jaw. 
“What was that?” You manage to breathe out as he continues his trail of kisses along your jaw.
“What?”
“If you’re gonna talk you’re gonna let me hear it. Got it?”
“Oh-okay.” He continues to place quick, slight pecks along your jawline, but you know exactly what he’s doing.
“You’re not distracting me from that. I wanna know what you said, baby. Wanna hear you.”
“I said- I said uh-“ he gulps. “It’s dumb.”
“That’s okay.”
“I just said ‘fuck me’.”
You let out a small laugh. “Oh. It was dumb,” you mock him again, and you can see he didn’t expect that.
“What?”
“I though you wanted to fuck me,” you joke.
 He doesn’t take it as a joke. “I do. I do I just meant- it was just-“ oh. This was for real. 
“I know, love. I was just teasing you. Okay? You’re being so good to me.”
His eyes almost sparkle at the praise. 
“You know I think I changed my mind.”
“What?” 
“Maybe I should fuck you.”
“What do you mean?”
You look down on him and smile, a genuine sweet smile. “Get up.”
“But-“
“I thought you said you’d do whatever i wanted you to,” you fake-pout. 
He doesn’t say a word before standing back up. You do the same, keeping your body flushed to his. You slowly turn the two of you around, cornering him until the back of his knees hit the bench and pushing him to sit down on it. 
Standing in front of him, you tilt your head to the side as you take in the view. He looked disheveled as ever. You loved it. “I think you’re wearing too many clothes.
“I- I can take it off.”
“Yeah I think you should.”
“What… what do you want me to take off?”
“Let’s go with the shirt first, baby. How about that?”
He nods furiously. “Yeah I can do that,” he takes his shirt off in a millisecond, throwing it with your clothes on the floor. 
“Oh, you look so pretty,” you coo, stepping closer to him and lifting his chin up to look at you. You make your way around the bench to be behind him, and you can see him gulp in anticipation. Fuck, you were loving this a little too much. You trace his biceps with your finger. “Your arms, I love your arms, you know that? So big and strong,” you exaggerate, and he quirks an eyebrow at the suspicious comment. This doesn’t sound like it was getting to a nice praising place. “And your body, I mean your abs. Your thighs, your thighs are so pretty, baby,” you crouch a bit, still behind him, wrapping yourself around his back so you could snake your arms to his thighs, still only tracing them with a single finger. “So how come you lost to me like a bitch?”
That seems to remind him very well of what was happening.
“It- it was one time.”
“One time you lost to me. But you’ve barely ever won, have you?”
He stays quiet. 
“Come on, baby, talk to me…” you pout, snaking your arms around his torso and kissing his neck.
“N-no.”
“Did you like that you lost to me baby?”
Quiet again.
“Did it turn you on?” You whisper in his ear and you can feel him take in big a breath. .
He couldn’t even look at you .
“Oh, pretty boy, I wanna hear your voice!”
He gulps again. “It- it turned me on,” he confesses. 
“I never knew you were into this sort of thing.”
“Me- me neither.”
“Do you like it when I’m stronger than you? When I tell you what to do?”
You remove yourself from his body entirely, and he whips his head at record speed to look at you, desperate for your touch again. You circle the bench once again, standing in front of him. You grab his jaw and lifts his head up to look at you, your other hand messing with his hair. “So pathetic. I’ve barely done anything to you and you’re this hard.”
You finally sit yourself down on his thighs, legs on either side of his torso, and he immediately and instinctively grabs your ass ‘for support’ as he’s always insisted with a grin. 
“You’re so fucking pathetic you’ll do anything I tell you to. Won’t you?” You pout, tilting your head.
“I’ll- I’ll do anything you want.” 
“That’s a good boy,” you mess with and pet his hair again. You loved it when it was just long enough for his curls to appear. 
He shivers. “Can you say it again?”
“Oh, no can do, baby. You’ll have to keep being a good boy to earn it.”
“I’ll- I’ll be a good boy, okay?”
You nod silently, your arms draped around his neck, and you pull yourself closer to get access to his face. You kiss along his jawline slowly, paying extra attention to the spots just under his ears, which made him shiver like crazy. When you find it sufficient, you move down to his neck, and he lets you, tilting his head to the side. You kiss down his neck, trying your best to not leave any marks. He’s still shivering now, and you know him well enough to know he’s okay, but can’t resist teasing him a bit more. 
“Oh no, baby, you’re trembling! Is everything okay?” You feign ignorance.  He doesn’t reply. “Aw are you too horny to speak to me? Is that the issue?” You mock.
He lifts his hips for some friction, an involuntary tell that he was enjoying this too. “Aw, do you like it when I’m mean to you? Huh?” You lift his chin again. He begrudgingly nods his head yes. You smile and move your hand from his chin to his cheeks, squeezing both off them. “Does my baby like it when I’m in control? When I handle you like this? When I call you names?” 
He tries to reply, but can’t really with you squeezing his face like that. 
“Oh I can’t hear you baby!” You let go of his face. “You’re gonna have to say it again.”
“Yes.”
“Yes what?”
“Yes, I- I like it when you’re mean to me.” 
“I know, baby boy. I can feel it.” With no other warning, you palm him through his shorts. He was impossibly hard. Knowing he was liking this was for sure improving your confidence. The moment your hand meets his crotch his breathing becomes unsteady and he thrusts his hips up again, wanting more. You start kissing along his neck as you keep feeling him up through the shorts, and then he is gone. He lets himself let out delicious moans you would play on repeat if you could, tilting his head back to grant you better access to his neck. He wants more, and you know he does. But you want to hear him say it. 
After a few minutes, he does. 
“Please take it off.”
You press a gentle kiss to his neck, containing a grin. “What are you talking about, babe?”
“My shorts, take them off, please. Please, take them off.”
You press a quick peck on his lips this time. “You beg so pretty, baby. I think I’ll need more of that.”
He looks confused.
“Anything I tell you, right?” 
He nods. 
“Good. Eat me out.”
His eyes widen at the bluntness of it all. And then he realizes what you meant by needing more of his begging: you weren’t going to solve his little problem all that soon. 
“I- yes. Yeah.” 
You pull yourself off of him and he stands up as quickly as humanly possible, grabbing your hand and yanking you to Sensei’s office, rushing to move everything that was on his desk. You catch his drift and pull yourself up to sit on it. You’re so enthralled you don’t even really have the time to rethink what you’re doing and where you are. Miguel gets himself on his knees, and the sight of it from above is breathtaking. 
“Are you sure you wanna be on your knees? They’re gonna hurt.” You ask him, seriously this time.
“I don’t care,” is all he says, dismissing the thought. He pulls you closer to the edge of the desk, and you let yourself lean back on your elbows. He brings a hand up your thigh and takes off your underwear, you lift your hips up to help. 
He brings both his hands to your thighs, slowly pulling them apart, opening your legs. 
He wastes no time before diving in, startling you when, in a second, his head is between your thighs while his hands squeeze them hard and his mouth is suddenly on you. 
He moves his tongue up and down your clit, occasionally circling around it. Now and then he takes a long lick, from your hole to your clit, letting out a moan from time to time as he tastes you, and he picks up on the shaky breaths and loud moans you let out at that (and the way your hands fly to his hair, slightly pulling it.) 
He moves his tongue to your hole, licking and kissing around it before getting it inside.
It makes you almost want to scream out his name. 
“Oh my god. You’re being so good to me, baby. Please don’t stop-” 
You can feel his smile. 
He takes one of his hands off of your thigh and moves it to thumb at your clit as he keeps fucking you with his tongue. The feeling is heavenly, but you can’t help but want more. 
“Your fingers.” Is all you say, and he gets it.
Normally in a situation like this he’d be teasing you in some way, but right now just the thought of upsetting you with that and having you leaving him to finish himself off, or something down that lane, got him quiet. 
He changes what he’s doing, going back to flicking your clit with his tongue, and slowly inserting one of his fingers. You decide you want to tease a bit more. “That all you got?” You challenge him, knowing exactly what you’re doing. He inserts another finger, not taking the care to do it slowly this time, and he pushes them deep inside you, curling them upwards to make sure you felt it.
You let out a moan that’s so pornographic you’re almost embarrassed at it, but you can feel him grin at it, pleased with the reaction. He keeps on, but at a slow pace. In other instances, you didn’t mind some slow, passionate sex. You loved it, even. But right now you wanted to be fucked.
“Harder.”
He pulls his head up to kiss you. You let him. As you make out, your taste still on his tongue, his fingers thrust harder, deeper inside you, making you moan into his mouth, which Miguel seemed to enjoy a little too much.
You can feel yourself brimming an orgasm, and your words become nonsense as he keeps on, your noises becoming so higher-pitched you can barely register you’re the one making them. 
“Fuck I’m gonna cum. Baby, I’m gonna cum. Holy fucking-“
It hits you suddenly, killing your train of thought. Your body trembles as he keeps thrusting his fingers into you, letting you ride out your high. He laps it all up gladly, but you pull him away, your clit oversensitive. 
That doesn’t mean you didn’t want more.
“Everything okay?” 
“Yes, baby. You were such a good boy. But I want you to fuck me now.” 
Miguel was still not used to you being this blunt. And honestly neither were you, for the matter. The words just kept coming out. 
“What- what do you want me to do?” 
You get close to his ear and whisper. “Whatever you want, baby.”
His eyes widen. Whatever he wants. 
 He pulls you off the desk and wordlessly takes you back to the locker room. He leaves you for a second to retrieve a condom from his bag. A prepared man, you’d say.
You manage to take a better look at him and laugh. He furrows his eyebrows together. “What?”
“You look so fucked out right now.”
He rolls his eyes at you and takes off his shorts, kicking them away. He goes to pull his boxers down but you stop him, stroking him in an agonizingly slow pace. He lets out a groan. “Please stop, I’m not gonna last.”
“Oh poor you.” You yank his boxers down. His dick is so hard it must be painful. And all from losing a fight and being called mean names. He walks the two of you backwards until your back is against a wall. He puts the condom on and looks at you for a green light. 
“Go on, baby.” 
He nods, pressing his cock into your hole slowly, letting you adjust to the intrusion.
“Fuck.” You breathe out.
“Was that a good fuck or a bad fuck? Does it hurt?”
“I’m alright. It was a good fuck.”
“Okay.” He hikes up one of your legs to his waist, and you think he’ll be content with that position, but he hikes up your other leg too, pressing your back even more firmly to the wall and supporting your weight by holding firmly onto the back of your thighs. 
“Woah what are you doing?”
He doesn’t bother responding, thrusting into you experimentally. 
“Holy shit.”
That is enough for him. His thrusts become harder, deeper, faster. He hadn’t realized just how desperate he was until now. 
Hitting the spot inside you that made you see stars with every thrust, it doesn’t take long for his breath to quicken and his thrusts to become sloppier. “I’m gonna- can I-“
Was he trying to ask for permission to cum? Holy fucking shit, that was hot.
“Shh, it’s okay baby. You’ve been so good. You can cum.”
“Thankyouthankyouthankyou,” he chanted.
 You laugh as his desperation, but it quickly turns into a moan, with Miguel eager to cum and fucking you so hard now you can’t even understand how he could still hold up your weight while doing that. Bless you universe for giving you a strong, strong boyfriend. But all of that didn’t matter now, because he was fucking you so good you could feel the familiar sensation of an orgasm building again.
“Please don’t stop.” That was the first time you begged him for something the whole time.
“I won’t, mi amor.” Oh, that broke you. That one pet name didn’t come out all that frequently, so when it did, you felt giddy on the inside. 
With a few more thrusts, both of you reach your high, and at that point Miguel did have to pull you down, although your legs currently trembled so hard it was a little difficult to stand, but he helps you out after tying the condom up and throwing it away.
“Holy shit,” you finally let out. 
“Holy shit,” he agrees. 
“What were you saying about your loser kink again?”
“Will you shut up about that?” He smiles.
“Was I too mean to you? I might’ve gotten a little carried away."
He looks down to the floor in embarrassment as if he hadn’t just fucked you into oblivion. “I liked it.”
“That’s good baby. So, shower?”
“Yeah you stink,” he makes a disgusted face, plugging his nose and everything just to irritate you. 
You roll your eyes at him. 
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A/N: pls be kind to me and cut me some slack i've never posted smut before 😭 i promise ive had sex before 😭 fighting for my life lmao
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erwinsvow · 4 months
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rafe looks even cuter when he's asleep.
you don't know how the thought has never crossed your mind up until now—it's so alarmingly obvious to you right now. you stare—a bit stalkerish, even for you—but that doesn't deter you at all. you watch his chest rise and fall with each breath, the way he's completely crazy, sleeping firm on his back with one arm on your waist and the other tucked behind his head.
maybe rafe seems even cuter just because he's escaping all the stress of his real life right now—firmly asleep with hopefully nothing but nice dreams about you. and as much as you try to avoid it, you are the primary cause of all of rafe's stress. he worries about you from dawn to dusk, even when you try to convince him there's nothing to be worried about.
it's become something of a habit for him—taking care of you, making sure you're okay, even when he's not around. and you—well, you've gotten quite reliant on it. on him. you're not positive—but you think rafe likes it.
even now, on the verge of waking him up because you can't sleep, you hope he doesn't get mad. it doesn't stop you though.
"rafe," you whisper, pushing his arm softly, and then a little harder. "rafe. rafe."
he groans, eyes still shut. the third push has him blinking, staring up at the ceiling and getting his bearings.
"what time is it?" he slurs, clearly still half-asleep. "still dark, kid, go back to bed-"
"i can't sleep," you say a little too quickly, your restlessness presenting itself quite clearly. "please. i don't know why. i'm scared."
rafe closes his eyes, but then opens again, no matter how hard it is to stay awake right now. he sits up a little, propping his back against his headboard. when he turns to look at you, he doesn't feel so tired anymore.
you look really awake, like you haven't had an ounce of rest since the two of you went to bed hours ago. fiddling with the straps of your nightgown, you look up at him the way you always do—like rafe can solve any one of your problems in a minute.
and he likes it. rafe doesn't even try and hide it anymore—he loves it and loves that about you.
"what're you scared of, huh?" he asks, voice still thick with sleep. you breath in and out, trying to figure out how to explain.
"i dunno. i just am."
"okay," rafe says quietly. he closes his eyes for a few moments and then opens again. your lips curl into a pout automatically—you feel bad for waking him up. "how can i help?"
"i don't know that either. i just want to feel close to you."
"m'right here, kid-" rafe extends an arm around you, bringing you into his chest. you curl up against him like you always do, breathing in the scent of his skin and the warmth from where his hand rubs your back. but it's still not enough.
"i want to be even closer," you murmur, feeling a little more tired but not nearly enough to actually fall asleep.
"how d'you suppose i do that, hm?" you look up at your boyfriend—cuter still with his eyes closed like this.
"can't you just.." feeling surprisingly bold—probably from how wired yet exhausted you currently are—you sneak a hand over rafe's pajama shots, pressing your hand down until-
"jesus, kid. gimme some warning, huh-"
"what? you said you're 'never too tired for that', remember?"
"well, i lied. c'mon baby, just go to bed, i'll fuck you first thing in the morning."
"hmpf," you scoff, turning around and taking much of rafe's comforter with you. you don't have to see rafe to know what's going on—he's rolling his eyes and sitting up, probably has his head in his hands for a moment.
"jesus, kid. you're gonna kill me. c'mere," rafe says, turning you back around to face him with just one hand. your body flops next to him, staring up at rafe, seeing what he'll do next.
"we don't have to do it," you finally say, watching rafe move around in the sheets for a few moments. "can't you just... put it inside?"
"sure i can. c'mon," he says, and you climb onto rafe's lap as swiftly as you can. it doesn't take much—he slides up your nightie with one hand and pulls down his shorts with the other. you feel rafe prodding at your tight hole when he grabs at your tits, letting the skirt of your sleepwear fall back down.
"you just said-" rafe cuts you off.
"still gotta wake him up, remember?" you roll your eyes but they end up rolling all the way back. rafe slides in quickly—you almost fall onto his chest at the feeling.
incredibly full, realizing this is exactly what you needed, you let yourself curl back up against him. rafe's saying something quietly to you, one of his hands firm on your ass and the other on your back, but you can't even hear him.
"thank you rafey," you murmur, interrupting him without even realizing. "this is what i needed." rafe presses a kiss to your hair and you fall asleep before you even hear him whisper back.
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stardustlixie · 4 months
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Okay hear me out...
Ot8 cuddling with the reader for the first time they have their head on his chest and his heart starts going crazy cause he's so nervous and he gets all shy and embarrassed ears getting all red 🤭🤭
Ugh I go crazyyy for shy skz
Okay that's all for now :))
~cookiecreates🍪
omg okay. super fluffy scenario. shy skz will actually decay my brain someday I adore them.
I'm gonna do this is a sort of hcs format so if that's not what you wanted, sorry!
chan
• shy baby. this man is a shy baby through and through.
• chan will always be someone to cherish his significant other and he will take everything seriously, every little milestone
• so early on in your relationship, you're at his place for the first time, you both hang out and watch a movie, he's no stranger to touch but you bet he's gonna be super surprised when your hands suddenly wrap around his frame and your head comes to rest on his chest
• the effect would be immediate, poor baby's heartbeat would quicken and all coherent thoughts will leave his brain
• you know how chan's blush starts from his ears before it can reach his face? yeah his ears will be suuuuper red. it's like he's frozen in time, you can see him gulping and you can't stop the laugh that escapes you.
• your giggles are what finally snaps him out of his daze "channie what's wrong?"
• "wha- oh. no. nothing." his arms wrap around your frame and their is a stupid dorky grin on his face the entire time. he does not pay even a second's attention to the movie, too busy memorizing how your cuddles feel to notice the screen. the boy is smitten.
lino
• you know he isn't a very expressive individual at first and it takes him time to open up, he's not the one to be super touchy either so you're very doubtful whether or not you should initiate anything.
• you see him getting jittery offstage after a concert, he must have been overwhelmed, you're new to this, to him, but he's your boyfriend nonetheless and the concern you're feeling isn't making this any easier.
• you drag him away from the staff and crowd and take him back to his hotel room before the rest of the boys, by the time you get him there you know for a fact that he's having a panic attack, he sinks into his bed and it doesn't matter if the most you've touched him is a few hugs to greet him, you wrap your arms around the boy's frame and pull him close.
• if it's two minutes or twenty you don't know, but you separate the moment you're sure he's calmed down, not wanting to make him uncomfortable
• "if you're fine i'll leave, sorry if i kinda over stepped your boundaries there."
• you're very surprised when he just opens up his arms, inviting you to lay down with him, and you smile at his nonverbal invitation before joining him.
• if the shy smile on his face didn't tell you better, then you'd think he's having another panic attack with the way his heartbeat is rising, you can feel it with your head on his chest. none of you says much, but words aren't really needed.
changbin
• one look at this man will tell any sane person that he is the best cuddle giver EVER, changbin is very affectionate, he is touchy. that's how he expresses his love
• but you're not really a very open person, it took him so long to actually get to the point of dating you so he's afraid he might do something wrong or make you uncomfortable if he rushed into his way of expressing adoration, so he mostly just settles for words of affirmation and don't get him wrong, he loves the small smiles and the words he gets in return, but he's craves physical affection nonetheless.
• but one evening he's sprawled out on the couch after a shower, and the power of a curly haired, bare faced binnie isn't unknown to anyone and boy is he surprised when he suddenly has his partner laying on him like he's a body pillow.
• changbin.exe has stopped working.
• his arms come up to hold you in place and you rest your face on his shoulder. "hey binnie", "hey baby" he chuckles, you can hear the surprise and the nervousness in his voice so you just dig your face into the croom of his neck and make yourself comfortable.
• felix has to hear him rant about this for weeks after.
hyunjin
• hyunjin isn't the type to date someone unless he's really invested, but he also isn't the type to do something in a rush. but the boy is very much touch starved.
• it's a painting date at your place, do the paintings you makes for each other go well? yes. but do you also end up smearing paint on each other for the sake of it? also yes. it's almost like a toddler playfight.
• you adore the boy, but he sucks at initiation, so it's you who initiates the kiss that turns into a make out session afterwards, that ends up with you straddling him, but instead of getting off when you separate, you just choose to lie down half on him and half on the bed.
• safe to say the boy is surprised, because it takes him a whole minute to process before his arms come up to hold you. his face is sooo red.
• "hey love. you're blushing a concerning amount." he just whines out a 'shut up' and makes himself comfortable, he never quite gets over the flustered state.
han
• hannie is not a man of patience, he is also not someone with a lot of time. that means you've been dating him for a month and you've been closer to fucking than you've been to spending actual quality time with him.
• which leads to this, you came here to find him working on his song, he gives you a quick greeting but you're not taking that, he's startled when he feels you taking his headphones off and giving him a pointed stare. "han jisung." "hey baby..."
• a minute later you have him beside you on his bed, a movie playing on the laptop he was previously working on. he whines about needing to finish the song but you just tell him to push you off if he dares. he doesn't.
• your head is on his shoulder and if you didn't know any better you'd think his anxiety was the reason his heart was beating so fast.
felix
• sweet sweet baby that he is, he's probably the one who initiated the affection, early on too. but considering your sort of closed off personality, poor baby was sooo hesitant when he did. you weren't very touchy, definitely not as much as him and he didn't want to ruin anything.
• so he was very careful with how he pulled you close to himself, face red the whole time. he was very close to losing himself in an abyss of overthinking when he heard you chuckle, "you're adorable."
• and when you wrapped your arms back around him was the moment you signed up for a lifetime of koala felix. good luck ever getting him off of you now.
seungmin
• he isn't very affectionate. we know. he expresses love with bickering and insults more than he does by normal means. so no surprise that personality trait is apparent when you're trying to solve a puzzle with him.
• "oh lord you're a fucking idiot!" he says when he finds you trying to make something funny out of a few of the thousand pieces of the puzzle. "you're dating said idiot though?" "you being my idiot does not negate the fact that you are an idiot" "whatever loverboy, admit you have a soft spot for me!" "nuh uh."
• maybe it's the way his curls fall over his eyes, or the way his glasses sit at the bridge of his nose, or the involuntary expression of concentration, but something prompts you to push him back on the couch and take a seat beside him, arms coming up around his waist to hold him in place.
• for the first time in his life, seungmin does not have something snarky to say, which surprises you enough to check up on him and find him blushing profusely as he stares at the floor, small smile playing on his lips. "you're real quiet now loverboy." "baby.."
• "huh, wasn't i a fucking idiot just now?" you giggle as you boop his nose, his hands coming up to wrap around your shoulders. "you're baby. for now."
innie
• you weren't even dating when it first happened, you were having a sleepover with the boys and you woke up shivering, in half sleepy wits you decided to snuggle into innie's side while he was asleep.
• he woke up before you, and was in awe when he found the home you'd made beside him, your face completely relaxed, quite comfy with your head on his chest apparently, half of your body was on top of him, so even if he wanted to, he couldn't move without waking you up.
• he just lay there smiling to himself until some of the boys woke up. you were later given photo proof of your sleepy actions by a very amused felix.
• and that's what prompted jeongin to confess.
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enkvyu · 1 year
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8:12am — gojo satoru ;
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your sneeze cuts off your sentence and you sigh, apologising into the phone. “sorry, i really don’t think i can carry out the mission.”
you can imagine yaga rubbing his temples on the other side of the line. “just worry about getting better. we can always have someone else fill your absence.”
“thanks, yaga. i’m really sorry for this.”
“don’t worry about it. take care.”
you end the call and sniffle, shoving your hand and phone deep into your pockets to try and conserve heat. the sniffle does little to clear your nose so you do it again, inhaling harder. by the end of it, your airways are no clearer than before.
a doorbell interrupts your suffering and you need to clamp your mouth shut to stop from groaning. dragging your feet behind you, you painfully walk over to your door. when you peer through the peephole, you’re met with a bright blue eyeball peeking through lifted black fabric.
“what the fuck.” you pull open the door. “gojo?”
your colleague stands on the other side, adorned in his typical work uniform with a white bag of something hanging off his arm. “you took so long to open the door i thought you might have died!”
“don’t sound too upset.” you roll your eyes.
gojo pauses and leans in, causing you to take a step back. his face falls into something you’ll call the equivalent to serious considering that you were talking about gojo, and he tilts his head to study you further. “is that a new makeup look? can’t say it flatters your features.”
you growl and it sounds sickly. “i’m not! i’m—” you shake your head as a migraine threatens your sanity. “doesn’t matter, what are you here for?”
“we work together! do i need a reason to come over and hang out?”
“at eight in the morning? yeah, you kind of do.”
“it almost sounds like you don’t want me here.”
“what gave it away?” you say, drily. of course, either gojo doesn’t get the nuance behind your words or he finds pleasure in testing you because he keeps bothering you with his presence.
“my feelings are hurt.” he sulks.
"i don't give a fuck about your feelings."
gojo's eyebrows shoot up. "wow, are you mad at me?"
you shake your head, sighing. “no, i'm not."
"right? after all, i haven't even done anything."
when he doesn't elaborate and the conversation dies, you ask, "was that everything?"
“why do you want me gone so fast? are you hiding something in there?”
you open your mouth to retort when a pulsing pain in your head cuts you off; the migraine was here. you groan, rubbing your temple as gojo’s voice zones in and out. “listen gojo, i am way too sick to banter with you right now. if it’s nothing important, can you talk to me another day?”
“you’re sick? how bad?”
you try to give him patience. “bad.”
gojo hums thoughtfully. “well it’s lucky for you that i’m super great at taking care of sick people.”
you stare at him. “you? really?”
“yeah! i’m incredible at it.”
you level with him a stare before slowly closing the door, intending to shut him out. his foot comes in a blur, holding it in place and you huff.
“you don’t believe me?” he says, looking the part of a wounded animal.
“if i say i do, will you leave me alone?”
gojo tuts, shaking his head. “this won’t do, we can’t have you believe in a false truth. i’m crazy good at taking care of people, i’ll prove it to you now!”
“no, that’s okay gojo, i don’t need your help— and you’re already inside. great.” the door closes behind you with a soft click as you stumble to your living room. “just stay out of the way, okay? and for god’s sake, keep quiet.”
"it'll be like i'm not even here. i promise."
"i don't believe in your promises." you grumble, stomping over to the bathroom. you notice, notice very clearly in fact, that the tall white-haired man follows after you. you stop at the entrance, looking back at him. "are you seriously following me to the bathroom?”
"i was going to stand guard outside!"
"i don't need you to. all i need is for you to leave." you hiss, entering the bathroom and slamming the door in his face. when you come out, he's still standing there, guarding.
you scrunch your nose up at him but leave anyway. he wasn't worth it, you remind yourself.
you make it to your next destination safely, thanks to your new and improved guard dog. checking out the fridge in your kitchen, you realise there was nothing to pop in the microwave and eat whilst wallowing in self-pity.
you do the next best thing and place a pot over your gas stove. bending over, you turn the small knob and watch as the blue flame arises. you let go of the knob, and the flame dies.
this was not something you needed right now but the emptiness of your stomach is all too prominent. so you try again, bending over and rotating the knob over the small fire symbol and watching as the stove flares up. carefully, you release the knob. the flame dies again.
“you okay?”
you grit your teeth into a smile. “yes, gojo. i think i might be better if you could stop looking over my shoulder.”
“the stove does not like you.” he ignores, side stepping to try himself. and because he’s so irritatingly perfect in every way, the blue flame rises and stays when he lets go.
gojo turns to you with a bright smile.
you sniffle and nod. “thank you.”
“what are you making?”
rummaging through your pantry, you remove a packet of instant noodles. the bright red icon on the packaging causes gojo to raise his eyebrow.
“super spicy?”
“i can’t feel anything in my nose right now. i’m thinking of flushing it out with something else.” you go to fill the pot with water but he stops you. “what?”
“you’re sick, you shouldn’t be eating something like that.”
“do you have a better idea?” you ask. “this is all i have in the house right now.”
gojo grins. he lets the white bag he was still holding onto slip down from his arm to his hand and he opens the two handles with enthusiasm. because it was so contagious, you can’t help but feel excited, peering into the bag.
you blanch. “is that medicine, creamed corn and one single egg?”
“yes!”
“that isn’t a meal either, gojo.” you think again, flickering your gaze up to his eyes. “but that’s sweet, thank you. i’ll take the pills after.”
you start to move around but he stops you with his arm. “didn’t i say i was here to take care of you? i’ve got this, just go over and relax on the couch.”
“the last thing i’ll be doing is relaxing if you’re in the kitchen.” your migraine disagrees so you eventually nod, shuffling away. casting one last glance, you point at him. “don’t start a fire.”
he gives you a cheerful wave and you stumble to your couch. you fall into its cushions and exhale, deeply.
time passes in a blur as your illness takes a hold of you, digging its finger into your brain and shaking it, displacing your cerebral spinal fluid. with your face deep within a pillow, you almost miss the scent of smoke.
almost.
you spring yourself up on your arms and dart back into the kitchen, almost running into a wall. coughing, you fan away a puff of smoke as you enter, finding the culprit wishing a tune and stirring something in a pot.
"gojo?" you choke.
gojo spins around and you find that he'd somehow pulled out the "kiss the chef" pink apron shoko gifted you on your birthday which you had immediately hid. it fits him terribly, straining to cover his torso. "you're up! why are you up?"
you cough again, stepping closer. "can't you see past that blindfold? you're starting a fire! i'm surpised my smoke alarm hasn't gone off!"
you reach over and turn the exhaust fan on, something he hadn't even done, and squint through the fog to look at what he was making.
"what is that?"
"it's soup! i heard soup is good for you when you're sick."
you look between the lump of black coal in the pot and gojo's smiling face. "soup has water in it."
"i know, i added that! it just all disappeared." gojo stirs the pot, and you're no longer sure what exactly, he was stirring. "i even added the pills you wanted to take so it'll be easier."
you wordlessly reach down and turn off the gas stove.
he lets you. "thanks, i was just about to plate this."
gojo begins manoeuvring your kitchen with a familiarity you weren't sure how he obtained. he opens the overhead pantry and takes out a bowl, pulls out the utensils from its respective drawer, and uses your favourite spatula to transfer the black lump of something.
he places the bowl in front of you. "here you go."
you stare at it for so long, you start seeing black. eventually, you begin registering the item. "wait a minute, is this a cursed object? did you infuse your cursed energy into this?"
gojo has that stupid grin on his face, the one that he uses when he knows he's in the right. "it is! this should make you better in no time. i used to give this to megumi all the time when he was sick."
"but it looks so..."
gojo digs through his pockets, pulling something out and hiding it in his fist. he holds it out to you. "if you're good and eat it, i'll give you this."
"what is it?"
"it's a secret." gojo says. "c'mon, be a good girl and take your medicine."
you huff, pulling your gaze away from his hand and towards the black lump. it looks edible, maybe if you squint at it, and it didn't seem all too big. you could probably get it down in two big bites. so with the determination of a seasoned warrior, you square your shoulders and break off a chunk, throwing it into your mouth.
your face immediately scrunches up as the taste hits you.
gojo coos at you from the side. "you're almost done."
you glare at him through tears, gulping the substance down when you're able to, and stuff the remaining bit into your mouth.
when it's travelling down your oesophagus, you thrust the bowl back into gojo's hands. "you better give me that thing in your hand."
gojo places his fist in your hands and opens it. a single candy stares up at you. "it's strawberry flavour, your favourite."
you murmur curses at him under your breath, something about him treating you like a child, but take the candy anyway. when you pop it in your mouth, the sweetness is almost enough to make you forget the taste of the cursed object. gojo's sweet smile fills in those absences as he gestures you to follow him.
perhaps the cursed object gets to you, or gojo’s presence has wormed its way into being comforting because you find yourself following.
"where are we going?" you ask as he leads you around your own home.
"to bed. the medicine will only work if your parasympathetic nervous system is working and considering who you are, you'll never know true relaxation if you're awake."
"hey." you sniffle indignantly. "i know how to have fun and experience leisure."
he hums but doesn't answer, leading you into your room. thinking that a nap would indeed do you good, you start to pull off the shirt you were wearing and wriggle out of your pants. perhaps the sickness had done more to you than you realised, because you forget gojo's presence, whipping your head to find him still standing at your door, his back to you.
"i didn't see anything." he says, immediately.
you grumble, throwing yourself into your bed and sliding under the covers. only then does gojo turn to you.
"you're really docile when you're sick."
"i'll put my foot in your mouth."
gojo laughs, turning around to head out when you call his name.
"are you leaving?"
he smiles, peering over his shoulder. "miss me already? i'll be back, i promise."
"i don't believe in your promises." you say again, but let him go, sleep taking over you. you slip in and out of consciousness as the fever reaches its peak, time slipping away from your knowledge.
every now and then, you hear footsteps, and the sound of a chair being dragged across the floor. one time, you open your eyes and find gojo standing over you, a towel in his hands. "good morning."
you mumble out something that even you couldn't understand, and slip into another fever-induced sleep.
the next time you open your eyes, you're relatively more lucid. you sit up slightly and something wet falls off your forehead. you catch the towel in your hands.
gojo looks up from his spot in your chair, placed beside your bed. "you're up again. here, hand me that."
you wordlessly pass it over to him and he replenishes it in the basin he'd placed on your bedside table. you say without thinking, "maybe you really are good at taking care of sick people."
gojo grins, lightly pushing you to lay down again. "i told you so. you're alot less of a handful than megumi was."
the warmth of the towel soothes you and you close your eyes against the sensation. you hear gojo flicking through a book in his hands, and the sound of paper against fingers lolls you into another comfortable slumber. a nagging thought tickles the back of your mind and with effort, you peer up at him.
when you mumble something incoherent, gojo looks over at you. “what?”
“i said.” you lick your lips and try again. “what did you come here for? you never told me.”
he gives you a slight smile and reaches over, adjusting the towel. “you said you were sick. i wanted to check up on you.”
“but—”
“you can’t fall asleep if you keep talking.” he reprimands. “shall i sing you a lullaby so you can sleep quicker? megumi never lets me.”
even before you can reply, he starts beatboxing and you realised in your sick state that it was the intro to twinkle twinkle little star.
regardless, having gotten an answer, you close your eyes again and let the sleep drag you under. vaguely, you realise gojo must have arrived at your apartment immediately after you had informed yaga that you were sick, stopping only to grab the ingredients to his cursed object cure. you'd have to thank him when you wake up, if you remember.
with a soft exhale, you slip away, gojo's rendition of twinkle twinkle little star your escort.
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guess who is sick. guess who is sick studying anatomy. guess who is sick studying anatomy and with a gas stove that is out to get her. the answer may shock you!
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starry-bi-sky · 1 month
Text
Who is the more well-adjusted twin; Damian, or Danyal? Why, it's Damian, of course!
And I have an explanation for this! But first I wanna preface this that this is just me like, rambling about this thought I have and it's not an attack on the trope as a whole. I love the Danyal Al Ghul au which is why i'm so deeply passionate about it, because I think it has a lot of potential to be explored. It's no secret that I've mentioned before that I think Danny's psychological development tends to get overlooked and underutilized in DAG aus, and the impact that growing up in an assassin league often goes ignored. This is just me further expanding on that.
Now lets set the stage! This is specifically for Danny who is adopted by the Fentons later down in life. Lets go twin au. At 10 years old, Damian goes to the Wayne Family, Danny is adopted by the Fentons (regardless of their affiliation with the League). By 14 years old, who ends up the better adjusted, more socially aware, spiritually in-tune with themselves, sibling? Why, Damian is! Why is that?
Because he has the actual support he needs compared to Danny. And I'm not talking about good or bad parents Fentons, because either way my opinion doesn't change. Damian would end up the better off twin, because, frankly, his family knows his background. They know he grew up in the League, they know what the League's teachings are, and they know he's a born and raised assassin. Knowing this, they can then help tackle and dismantle the teachings and lessons he has been given and ingrained into by the League. They may be a dysfunctional family, but they're functional enough to at least actively help deprogram all of the League's teachings that have been ingrained in Damian throughout his childhood.
Can't say the same for Danny.
Lets say Fentons here don't know his background -- and even if they do, the results may just stay the same if they play their cards wrong, -- Danny's now just been thrown into the deep end of a pool and is essentially being told sink or swim. Regardless of how he got there -- undercover, faked death, etc -- he has no proper support. He knows the League is meant to be secret, he's not gonna speak on it for various reasons. Whether it be some still lingering loyalty, fear of harm, or whatever. Whatever the reason is, he does not have a proper support system in the Fentons, no matter how nice they are. They can only tackle the surface level stuff and whatever Danny allows them to see -- if Danny ever lets them see it at all. For what do assassins do when they don't want to be caught? They hide. Sometimes in plain sight.
"But Jazz--" Jazz is a child. She is 2 years older than Danyal and no better at giving him a proper support system than the two adult Fenton parents, even with parentification. We don't know when she got into psychology or how long she'd been studying it by the time Danny's 14. We just know she's really into it. Even then, Jazz is not a licensed or reliable therapist, or even an experienced or implied good therapist, and should not be used as one either. It's a disservice to her character to reduce her down to 'supporting female emotional crutch'. Besides, therapy only works on people who want to get better. Danny, who'd be hiding who he really is, has very little incentive to want to, or to even think something is wrong with his way of thinking, even with exposure to the outside world.
When people's beliefs are outright challenged, they tend to double down on them, and Jazz canonically has a habit of psychoanalyzing her family and declaring what she thinks is the problem -- regardless of whether or not she's right about it. Jazz would get into psychology, try and psychoanalyze Danny, and all it would do is cause him to clam up, shut into himself further, and throw up even more walls so that she can't figure out that he has been lying this whole time. It would do more harm than good, and would actively hinder any progress he'd make in trying to open up to them. Roads and good intentions and all that.
That being said, I think Danny's development and dismantling of the League's teachings would be slower than Damian's. Much slower. Because he would be the one having to pick apart everything and figure out what is right, what is wrong, what he wants to keep, and what he wants to toss. Everything he unlearns would be stuff he has to unlearn himself. If he even gets to that point at all -- depending on his experiences, he very well could not change at all, or change very little. The League acts as a purge for humanity, meant to reign in their hubris and retain balance, they just also happen to be assassins for hire. Danny's time spent in Amity Park could as well strengthen his belief in their teachings just as much as it could weaken it, especially if it goes as canon and he gets bullied.
Regardless, being tossed to a civilian family as someone who is very much not a civilian, without any support, would be actively detrimental to Danny's overall mental health and development. Especially to strangers like the Fentons. Damian was closed off and standoffish even with blood family, and it took him time to open up to them -- Danny, with the Fentons, would be even more so. He doesn't know them, he doesn't trust them, he has no rhyme or reason to open up to them, and since the Fentons don't actually know him, they can't help him the way he needs. Once "Danny Fenton" is made, he has even less reason to open up. So long as Danyal allows it, they will only ever know Danny, and they'll never know Danyal.
TL:DR the Fentons aren't the better family option just because they're civilians, and actually that makes them the worser option between the two because they can't give Danny the proper support he needs. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#danyal al ghul au#dp x dc crossover#danyal al ghul#dpxdc demon twins#demon twins au#dpdc#dpxdc au#dpxdc analysis#tldr: danny could be royally screwed over by living with the fentons rather than his actual family.#the fentons being good people ≠ giving proper support and aid to a child. especially a traumatized assassin child.#there are of course a lot of variables to put into place that could shift things around but this is just the general gist of the idea#living with the fentons could actively harm danny worse than if he was with the waynes and could leave him more susceptible to returning to#the league depending on the backstory given. he could actively force himself into his own shell and bury himself deep beneath his lies.#and once 'Danny Fenton' is firmly fixated on his face what use is he to take the world at face value? as my delightful friend navistar said#anything anyone says would be to *danny* not *danyal.* one good example im thinking of is that *danny* knows that killing is wrong and that#people have value. but *danyal* does not. he recognizes that it is something frowned upon but doesn't quite understand *why* because nobody#has explained it to him. bc they don't know he *needs* it to. its like knowing that certain words hurt people when said a specific way and#even if you don't mean it to hurt or understand why it hurts you recognize that it *will* hurt. and so you refrain from doing it.#danyal knows x x and x is frowned upon and so even if he doesn't understand why or thinks its stupid he refrains from doing them#while he's 'danny fenton'. he's very Intensely Masking#child development and socialization is tricky at best and unpredictable at worst. things COULD help but they could also make things worse#and even if the fentons do know his background that doesnt mean they know how to give him proper support. it certainly HELPS but it doesn't#automatically make it better. Danny can always just Lie. their parenting style might not change. sending him to therapy doesn't#automatically make it better bc it doesnt mean danny agrees that he needs the help. he can just Lie.
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katstarry · 2 months
Text
no one noticed | call me
eddie munson x reader
part iii
masterlist ☆
part i part ii
summary: eddie finally asks you on a date!
warnings: fluff, reader tends to overthink a little, a bit of self-doubt, but overall this is happy!!! she/her for reader, not much of robin in this one :(
a/n: this is probably the last part and it’s kinda long!! i sort of winged this whole small series :D but i enjoyed writing it sm it’s the first time i’ve written multiple parts for a story, thank you for all the love!!! 💝 i think this is my favorite part.
feedback + reblogs are appreciated! ☆
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a few weeks had gone by and your friendship with eddie had only gotten stronger. the project for history had gone great, and it’s only a matter of time until the grades are passed out.
though eddie and you have spent lots of time together after school at various locations, such as your house or his, diners, local shops, or visiting robin at family video—there’s one thing that neither of you have gotten the courage to ask for.
each others number.
many days spent seeing each other, the thought of continuing to keep conversations going after you both go your separate ways, has been something you’ve wanted to do since the start.
it’s a simple thing really, but for some reason you don’t find the perfect time to ask for his number, or bring it up. feeling as though that would be too awkward. he hasn’t brought it up either, which only fuels your reluctance.
which brings you to now.
it’s a friday and you’re both spending the evening at a local diner, waiting for your food to arrive, well, specifically eddie's.
"are you sure that you don't want anything else?" he looks at you as he drinks from his cup, he had ordered a burger along with some fries. while you had only gotten a vanilla milkshake with fries.
"yup, i ate some lunch at school earlier. remember?"
he nods his head, "right. just don't steal my food when it gets here." narrowing his eyes at you.
"pfft, what? i would never do that." you say, grabbing one of your fries and taking a bite.
eddie rolls his eyes and smiles, "uh huh, just like you didn't steal my chicken nugget during lunch, or yesterday at the movies and i got some m&m's , or the other time when you said you didn't want anything but then asked for my chi-"
"alriiight! okay! i have no idea what you're talking about. that wasn't me." hiding your smile by taking a sip from your milkshake, he leans onto the table crossing his arms in front of him. "sure it wasn't, she looked a lot like you though. weird."
he steals one of your fries.
"hey! now who's the thief?" smacking his hand away, but you were too late, he had already grabbed it and ate it, smiling innocently back at you.
he shrugs, "don't know what you're talking about."
"i hate you." you say shaking your head and laughing.
he laughs, "oh please, you love me, sweetheart."
you blush. because first of all yes, you do, and second of all because of the nickname he's gotten used to calling you.
"you wish." you roll your eyes, acting as if his words didn't cause your heart to race and cheeks to burn. you hope he doesn't notice. but of course, he does, though he doesn't bring it up.
"i'm wounded, you don't love me." he puts his face in his hands as if he's crying. that's when the waitress comes over with his food.
"okay, here's your burger and your fries, sir," she smiles and puts the food down in front of him, causing eddie to look up and rub his hands together at the sight of food, "enjoy your meal! you both make a lovely couple." she smiles as she looks at you both.
you both freeze and look at each other, you see eddie smile. oh no.
"thank you so much, she doesn't love me." he deadpans with a fake sad smile as he looks at her.
an awkward look appears on her face. "oh! i'm, uh, sorry about that." she looks over at you.
"that's- no! i never said that, he's just kidding. ha ha." you look at eddie who's trying not to laugh at the look on your face. you kick him under the table.
he yelps and the waitress leaves after awkwardly laughing.
"uh, ouch?!" he rubs his leg under the table.
"oh c'mon it wasn't that hard!" you laugh. your face feels warm once again, "what'd you have to say that for? the poor lady, she was just doing her job." you shake your head with a fake disappointed sigh.
"just having some fun, sweety pie."
"ugh, don't ever say that again."
"we gotta keep up the act now! right, sweetums?" he bats his eyelashes at you and takes a bite of his burger.
"stop!" you laugh.
"why, sweetcheeks? apple of my eye? buttercheeks?"
"buttercheeks?" you ask, still laughing.
"i don't know where that came from, kinda started pulling some outta my ass." he laughs, taking another bite.
"it's okay, honey, you're trying your best." deciding to play along, patting his free hand that lays atop the table.
though, unbeknownst to you, his brain kind of short circuited for a moment once he heard you. you called him honey and you don't even realize the effect you have on him. usually, he's the one calling you pet names, loving the way you react to them, it's sweet. though he only thinks it's because you're a naturally shy person, but he's questioned in his mind if there was another reason as to why.
and he hopes he's the reason why you get all flustered when he says them.
taking another bite to keep himself occupied, nearly finished with the burger, he smiles at you once he finishes.
"i really am, you cutie patootie." he wipes his hands on a napkin before, leaning over and booping you on the nose.
"seriously? cute patootie? out of all the options?" you finish your milkshake, putting the rest of your fries to the middle of the table in between eddie and you so you can share.
"it suits you! but all right then, uh.." he looks up in thought, eating one of your fries, "...snookums."
"i really do hate you." you take the final fry.
"hey, we're supposed to be keeping up an act here, boo boo bear." he points an accusatory finger at you, you stare at each other for a moment before you both end up bursting out laughing.
"we should head home, love bug." you say, getting out your wallet.
"uh uh uh! no. i'll pay." he stops you.
"eddie you paid last time. i'll pay."
he sighs, knowing he won't be able to stop you. he hasn't been able to stop you all the other times before.
you smile, knowing that you won.
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now you're both in his van and he's driving you home.
it's become a routine for you both, he started picking you up for school and driving you home. if he kept this up you'll end up not remembering how to drive.
he turns up the radio, one of his metallica cassettes is playing. looking over at him, you smile at the sight. he's looking straight ahead, hands drumming on the steering wheel to the music, head moving to the beat. you believe he does it subconsciously, as if he doesn't realize he's doing it unless someone points it out.
you look away once he glances at you.
"staring it rude, sweetheart." he says sternly, though you can hear his smile.
"wasn't staring."
"sure you weren't."
"just was admiring the view."
"you flatter me, y/n." he twirls one of the strands of his hair playfully with his free hand, while the other is on the wheel with his elbow resting on the window that's down.
you shove him gently, "don't let it get to your head. it's big enough as it is."
he laughs, "who knew you'd be so mean, what happened to the shy girl from a few months ago?"
"i wasn't that shy."
he looks over at you with his eyebrows raised.
"okay maybe i was."
he laughs, "couldn't even keep eye contact with me."
"i was just nervous!"
"i make you nervous, sweetheart?"
"no."
"sure." he smiles.
the rest of the drive was comfortable, music playing in the background, you like that about being with eddie. it doesn't feel awkward having periods of silence, he makes you feel safe, welcome, you can just be you.
he lowers the volume of the radio once he stops in front of your house, putting the van on park.
"well, home sweet home." he says, turning to look at you.
"home sweet home." you repeat, unbuckling your seatbelt. "thanks for the ride, eds."
"of course. you know i don't mind." he smiles.
you smile at him and get out, waving back at him once your in your house as he waits for you to get in safely, and shut the door.
once you're safely inside, eddie glances down at where you were sat, and finds napkin with scribbles on it.
he grabs it and looks at it properly, about to throw it to the back to throw away later (he always forgets), but stops once he reads what's on it.
it's a telephone number, it's your number. and beside it is written 'call me!' with a smiley face and a messy heart.
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you had called robin as soon as you got home, gushing once again about your time with eddie, while she talked to you about her encounters with vickie.
and now here you were a few hours later, anxiously laying on your bed and flipping through magazines, waiting for eddie's call. will he even call?
did he even see the napkin? oh no, what if he threw it away? or what if he doesn't care?
that's when a ring begins to sound.
you jump up from the bed, fixing your hair, but then realizing he won't even be able to see you.
you pick up the phone, "hello?"
"well hellooo, y/n. i can't believe this is our first time calling each other."
you immediatley begin to smile, "i know right! we're so stupid."
"i didn't know how to bring it up."
"neither did i."
you both laugh.
"we really are so stupid." he says.
you picture him by the phone, is he standing? or is he sitting? is he smiling as much as you are?
"so..."
"so... what'd you do today?" he asks, and you know now that he's definitely smiling, and you can picture it so easily. maybe he's even toying with the phone cord, maybe not.
"hm... well i went to school obviously," "obviously." he interrupts, sounding as if he's holding back laughter.
"okay. and then just hung out with this guy after school."
"aah.. a guy you say? should i be worried?"
IS HE FLIRTING? you swear your heart skips a beat. breathe!
you laugh, "oh no, no. nothing to worry about."
"you sure?"
"totally, he wouldn't even hurt a fly."
"sounds like a pussy." he laughs.
"definitely."
"heeey! you weren't supposed to agree." he pouts, though you can't see him.
"you're the one who said it!"
"well, i don't know the guy, so i can say it."
"eddie you literally are the guy."
"i am?"
"idiot."
your laughs quiet down and you hear quiet breaths over the receiver, something about it makes it feel so intimate, it makes you blush. it's like he's so close, but he's so far away. only a couple of minute's drive away, but still, too far for your liking.
"still awake over there?" you whisper.
you hear a loud exaggerated snore in return, causing you to pull the phone away for a moment.
"well you must be in very deep slumber, i guess i'll hang up.."
"no! i'm awake. sorry, must've fallen asleep a bit there. oops. my bad, i'm up. don't hang up."
"nearly ruptured my eardrum." you laugh.
"myyy bad." he snickers.
"i am getting a bit tired though," a yawn escapes you in the middle of your sentence.
you hear him sigh, "guess we gotta sleep then."
"guess so."
a moment of quiet.
"you doing anything tomorrow?" he asks.
"um, no i don't think so. you?"
"nope."
"cool." you smile, knowing he'll ask to hang out.
"can i ask you something?" he sounds nervous.
"of course."
"we should hang out tomorrow."
"...okay, i'm down. was that the question?" you laugh softly, opting to lay down on your bed again.
"sorry- no that's not the question," you hear him move around, "uh, i was thinking."
"oh no." "shut up," he laughs, "i was uh, wondering, if you- do you want to go on a date with me?"
quiet.
WHAT. oh. oh this is real.
"uh it's okay if not, can just forget i ever said that-" "i'd love to."
he swears he stops breathing for a moment, "yeah?" he smiles once he hears your answer.
"yeah." you giggle.
"cool.. nice. i'll pick you up, uh is like 3pm cool?" "yeah, that's cool."
"awesome. well... i'll see you tomorrow, sweetheart." he whispers.
"see you tomorrow eds. goodnight."
"don't let the bed bugs bite." he says, did he really just say that? he rubs his face, but he feels calmer once he hears it made you laugh.
"alright, bye eddie."
he can't wait for tomorrow.
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excitedly going to sleep, the next day comes quick.
calling robin and immediately telling her you have a date with eddie.
you wake up, have some breakfast and tell your mom, take a shower, and spend time looking for an outfit.
he didn’t tell you what the plans were, so you decide on something a bit casual but also a bit dressy. you put on a nice babydoll shirt and some jeans along with your docs.
sitting at your desk, where you have a small mirror and your make-up products, you get started on getting ready. you take your time getting your hair to look nice and not going too over the top with the make-up just some simple concealer, mascara, and lip gloss.
by the time you finish it’s about 2:30pm. okay, 30 minutes left. cool. now it’s really sinking in that you’re about to go on a date.
you get up and put on some jewelry, some earrings and a necklace, and just a few bracelets.
okay, now you’re ready.
wait! some perfume too. can’t forget that.
looking at the mirror you fix a few things—and you hear a knock at the door.
your mom went out to do some groceries—so you rush to the door and take a breath, not wanting to seem too eager. but you are.
you open the door and see eddie, he looks good. really good, which you’ve always thought but you can see he put effort in for this. his hair seems softer somehow? he’s wearing a black button down that fits loosely and some jeans, he’s still wearing his rings, you take notice that one his arms is hidden behind his back.
“you look great.” you both say at the same time.
“uh thanks.” you feel your face heat. “you look nice.”
“thank you, swetheart.” he pulls his arm from behind his back and he gives you flowers. you almost sigh dreamily, almost. you take it, unable to stop the smile that comes to your face.
“you remembered my favorite flowers?” you say as you look down at them.
“i remember everything you tell me, beautiful.”
his pet names aren’t new, but knowing this is a date makes hearing them a lot more difficult to not love the way it sounds.
“thank you, eds. i’ll just go put them in some water and i’ll be right out.” he nods and waits for you.
you’re out really quickly, excited.
he opens the door for you as he always does, but this time he even buckled the seatbelt for you, before going to the drivers seat. gentleman.
“so, where are you taking us today eddie?” you look over at him seeing him smile and starting the van.
“guess you’ll have to wait to find out.”
he hums along to the music that’s playing, opting to turn on the radio and put on one of his favorite stations. you hum along to the songs you do know, the ones you’ve listened together with him and some you’re just now hearing.
the trees on the side of the road pass you by, shades of green and brown since it’s almost fall, but still warm enough to be outside.
“i think i know where we’re headed.” you say, your gaze still outside the window.
“sh! sh! i still want it to be a surprise. even if you know where we’re going.” he chuckles.
you smile lazily over at him, your head resting on the headrest. “alright.”
the drive to the location is peaceful, as it always is. it’s filled with silly banter, teasing, and causal conversation.
once he parks the van, he rushes out and opens your door before you even get the chance to reach for the handle.
you hop out, “thank you.” you pat his chest.
“of course, your majesty.” he puts out his hand and your grab it.
he leads you to the back of the van and he opens it with his free hand, grabbing a blanket and a basket.
“a picnic?”
“a picnic.” he blushes and looks away, feeling a bit flustered by the way you look at him in adoration.
he leads you a bit further into the trees until you reach a good place; with a beautiful view of lovers lake.
letting go of your hand with a soft squeeze, he opens up the blanket and places it on the ground, putting the basket on it and sitting down. he look up at you and reaches for your hand.
“you gonna join me? or are you just gonna stand there and look pretty? i wouldn’t mind either one.”
you sit down across from him. “oh shut up.” you mumble.
he nudges your foot with his own, “don’t get shy on me now, sweetheart. let’s dig in.”
“alright, let’s see what you brought.”
opening up the basket he pulls out sandwiches, drinks, a container with cupcakes, and some fruit.
he looks up at you once he finished laying everything out. “i know it’s not much.. but i hope you enjoy it. i know you’ve mentioned before how badly you wanted to go on a picnic before.” he looks back down and counties setting everything.
you grab his hand and squeeze it. “it’s perfect, eddie. thank you. anything we would’ve done today i would enjoy regardless, you make things fun ed’s.”
letting go of his hand, he sits up and smiles.
“likewise, cutie patootie.”
“ooookay. well then, this has been fun—” you move to stand.
“no! alright, alright. i’ll behave.” he laughs, putting his hands on your shoulders.
“thanks, buttercheeks.” this causes you both laugh.
he hands you a sandwich, you take it and eat. the time is spent eating the snacks he had brought, goofing around, and shy glances when the other thought they weren’t looking.
the food was eaten and now you were snacking on some grapes, now sitting side by side, looking out at the lake, the sunset making the trees surrounding it to have more color and the water to glimmer.
“it’s so beautiful.” you say, looking at the scenery.
“yeah. it is.” he says softly, but he’s looking at you. he’s leaning on his elbows, his legs stretched out and crossed.
looking over at him, you lock eyes. only this time neither of you look away. you move to mirror his position, now at eye level.
“hey.” he says in a low voice.
“hey.” you say.
you eat another grape.
“can i have one?” he glances down at the fruit in the container.
“if you can catch it.” you smirk, sitting up as he remains how he is. he furrows his eyebrows in confusion, but understands once he sees you raises your arm, about to throw the grape.
he opens his mouth in attempt to catch it, but it hits his eye, causing you to burst out laughing.
“laughing at my pain, i see how it is.” he picks up the grape that fell onto the blanket and throws it back at you, which hits your shoulder.
“you missed.”
“you hit my eye!”
“it was close!”
“that was not close.”
you throw another one, catching him off guard. it hits his nose.
“now that was close.” you say, eating one yourself.
he shakes his head and sits up, reaching for the container. you pull it away playfully.
“oh? is that what we’re doing now?” he says.
you shrug.
he moves to grab it again, you pull it away.
neither of you move, until you stand and run with the container. he gets up and tries to reach you, but unfortunately you trip on a tree root and fall onto the grass, eddie falls as well by trying to reach for you.
he falls atop you, the container of fruit now forgotten.
“y’know if you wanted to be on top of me, i think that could’ve been after a couple more dates, eddie.” you joke.
eddie leans over you, not wanting to put his full weight on you. “ha ha.” he rolls his eyes.
“so what i’m hearing is.. you’ll go on more dates with me?” he brushes a loose strand of hair that fell in front of your face.
“mmm… maybe.” you smile.
“cool.”
“cool.”
he glances down at your lips, looking back to find you doing the same. “can i kiss you, sweetheart?” he whispers.
you nod, and that’s all he needs before leaning down to connect your lips. he feels your soft lips and he can’t help but sigh against the kiss. this is real. he’s kissing you. moving your hands to wrap around his neck, you feel his lips love against yours, tasting the cupcakes from earlier and a hint of mint. smiling against his lips, he pulls back for breath.
smiling down at you, he looks at you, a gleeful look on your face.
he moves to move off you, but you pull him back down for one last kiss.
he laughs against your kiss, helping you up.
“can’t get enough of me already?”
you shove his shoulder gently, “what, don’t want me to kiss you then?”
“now, now let’s not get crazy. i didn’t say that.” he pulls you closer, both of you now standing. he leans down and pecks your lips, pulling away and humming contently.
“nice?” you say.
“more than nice. amazing. awesome. beautiful. spectacular. though i think i know what would make it even better.”
“yeah? and what’s that?” you play with the ends of his hair.
“if you would be my girlfriend.” he says, blushing.
you hide your smile by hiding your face in his neck.
“i’d love to be your girlfriend, eddie.” you kiss his cheek.
he embraces you. “thank you.”
“for what?” you laugh, feeling him shrug.
“being you.” he kissed the top of your head, “…i’m your boyfriend now.” he smiles, pulling away and holding your hand.
and that next monday, in history class, where it all first started, he looks at his grade, an A written at the top.
he looks over at you, leaning over to give his girlfriend a dramatic sloppy kiss on the cheek.
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ryomens-vixen · 1 month
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Yandere!Gojo Satoru -Drabble?
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❤️‍🩹 CW: Gojo is a Warning, Cheating, Slight NSFW, Yandere Tendencies, threats, dub/noncon?
❤️‍🩹 Word Count: 🤷🏾‍♀️girl idk...no wc today.
❤️‍🩹 Author's notes: This was COMPLETELY out of no where, I was bored and instead of finishing this Toji fic I randomly decided to write Yandere Gojo. So enjoy and don't ask me to write for Gojo 🙄 this is a one time thing...
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I don't think y'all understand how TERRIFYING yandere Gojo could actually be- like I'm not a Gojo girlie, but I pay attention to him enough to know this nga is real deal terrifying. Like let's say you and him had a bad break up and he pops up at your house after you blocked him on everything, trying to explain himself and you close the door in his face. Now the RATIONAL thing to do would just be to leave. But Satoru? Chile his only rational thoughts are he either hollow purple the house or simply teleport inside and continue where he left off. Cause what the fuck does he look like letting you go?
Nah, he'll teleport in the house and of course scare tf outta you- and whatchu gone do about it? Nothing, you can't even touch this man. Like yeah you can scream, shout, throw shit at him all you want, but it's not like you can touch the nga. You gone hear him, you gone listen to every word he has to say and even if you do decide to reject his advances he WILL stay in your house, all up in your face, all up in your bed, eating your food, etc. He's gonna make you take him back whether you like him or not, but you not leaving him. Whatchu gone do? He's the strongest, nobody can step to him except Suguru, but where is he? Nobody knows. So really all you can do is deal with him being there, annoying you, trying to talk your panties off, the mood swings I mean really you have to watch what you say to him cause his cheerful mood can switch to unhinged so quick and you know exactly how bad he can get so it's better to just play along with him until you're no longer mad at him.
I mean just the other day he told you he loved you so much but you- you clearly forgot who you were dealing with and slipped up saying you didn't love him. Now why would you slip up and say that to him? Now he's all eerily quiet and you were standing there washing the dishes like you didn't just piss off a monster? Next thing you know he's got your head in the dish water and his dick buried in your pussy, His blindfold restricting your hands, every now in then he feels you pushing your head against his hand he pulls your head up from the water only to ask you in a serious tone of you love him or not. Now... There's a right answer for everything so even if you didn't love him it would be very.. Wise to say you do- unless you want this blue eyed, white haired demon to drown you?
Or the time he caught you swiping on tinder? Are you out of your mind? You have to be- ain't no way you forgot who's in your house. Gojo had half a mind to trap you in his infinite void for a second, but listen- he's trying, he's trying to not be so impulsive, trying to communicate better, trying to not show you how weak you are compared to him. He tried to communicate to you how much it hurts him to see you on tinder, and what did you say to him?
"We're not together so it doesn't matter, Satoru. "
It's something wrong witcho dumbass like do you just forget how much danger you're in fuckin around with Gojo? THEE strongest? The Six Eyes? Head of the Gojo Clan? Now you're sitting here wondering why you can't breathe and seeing stars. He literally took you're phone and shattered it, now he's knocking the Sonic Rings out your pussy. Do you still wanna keep playing with this man? Because after this you're sure as hell going to watch what you say or do around him now.
Only after you get done getting the Chaos Emeralds knocked out your pussy. I mean he is ruthless, turning your ever which way but loose, knees always behind your heads while he's quite literally bullying your cervix, but the way that you're a babbling mess underneath him turned him on even more, but I guess that's you're fault you should have watched what you said, and now here you are getting stuffed to the brim with his cum, those bright blue eyes, that crazied smile stretched across his face, forcing you to make eye contact with him. Gojo enjoyed seeing that expression you were making, he knows he's the only only who could ever fuck you like this, his dick is the best you've ever had nobody could compare to him no matter how mad you were.
"That's right baby, you're my girl, aren't 'cha? Mine, Mine, Mine. You.. Fuck.. You and this pussy mean so much to me!"
"Say it, Y/N, Say you love me baby, say it, say it, say it!"
"Fuck- This pussy s'good, s'good baby, just for me."
"You'll t-take me back, be a family again, you'd like that wouldn't you? Putting a fuckin baby in you- wouldn't you?!"
Out of everything he said that's the only thing that caught your attention, your panic? You were never ready for a baby- But what were you gonna do? Deny him? You've already fucked up denying him a relationship, Yeah he cheated, but in your current situation was it really ever that deep? He never showed his crazy until now and too be honest it was scary and arousing at the same time. But you had to come back to earth before he ACTUALLY baby traps you. Maybe tricking him into giving you a break? You had just the idea, asking him in strangled moans to let you ride it, damn near begging.
Surprisingly- it did work, you were engaging with him instead of fighting against him, Gojo thought to himself as he sat up pulling you on of him. His demeanor seemed a bit more cheerful than deranged like earlier. But now that you've come back to your senses and realized who you're fucking with.. It was time to play along, maybe even reason with him. Once you were on top of him finally able to catch your breath- your fingers interlaced with his, impatient as ever he bucked his hips up into you making you plead with him to wait a second.
*Pant* "Sa- Satoru wait, just a second lemme talk!"
He looked so annoyed, so irritated with you, but way not he'll bite.
"Fine, what more important than me putting this fat cock in your stomach?" Oh that devious look only his face.
"Satoru, you're right, I do wanna get back together, I was just being jealous, Toru- I wanna fix us before we ever consider having a baby, okay? Please?" God he loved the way you pleaded with him, even saying please? Man it made his dick jump, but it also mad him so happy, you wanted to be with him again.
You watched his facial expressions in worry since he hadn't said anything yet. That was until he bucked his hips into you again ... Repeatedly. But at least he had on his usual joyful expression- he seemed happy now. Nothing could ruin it just as long as you were cautious about the things you say or do. There's no use in being petty or angry with him because will always without missing beat show you his crazy.
But you should be glad you don't live in an apartment, because babeh.. The noise complaints y'all would be getting right now, I mean the headboard is literally banging against the wall. Your screams were nothing to talk about either you two were being so loud right now, you were his again and even though he didn't respond to your statement beforehand, his actions would surely speak for him. Like instead of his baby trapping you Gojo pulls out cumming all over your stomach and himself.
"My Girl.. Now how about we try for a baby when you move in with me tomorrow?" He said so cheerfully like it was nothing.
"HUH?!"
Yeah... Gojo Satoru was insane and you're the only person that has EVER seen this side of him. You're stuck with this monster now, but at least his dick is good, right?
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Tags: no tags this time we'll see what the algorithm does with this and again do not bother asking me to write more Gojo I literally hate this dude. 💕
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Every time I learn something new about Batman: War Games I lose my mind a little bit more cause just, just fuckin, look okay so here's the thing:
Stephanie Brown tries to implement a contingency plan of Bruce's just after he fires her from being Robin and because of that gets tortured to (almost) death and no one knows she survived.
THIS STORY RUNS IN THE NEWS:
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So, you know, anyone who might be paying even half a fucking ounce of attention to news about ROBINS would definitely absolutely notice this!!!
And then very very soon afterwards Jason comes back and specifically targets Black Mask to ruin the criminal empire he tortured Stephanie to get
As a way to torment Bruce about the fact that he doesn't take care of the nastiest criminals and they continue killing people
And how Jason should have been the last to die
and SOMEHOW
these two things are in no way related and Jason has nothing to do with or say about Stephanie Brown, fellow Robin, fellow martyred soldier, fellow child dead due to Bruce related villains.
HOLY DEAD SIDEKICKS BATMAN, DO YOU COMPREHEND THE MAGNITUDE OF MISSED OPPORTUNITIES HERE????
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please walk with me down a timeline in which:
Lost Days Jason at first just tries to go after the Joker and can't because who he's really mad at is Bruce.
Then he sees Who Really Killed Stephanie Brown and the utter horror of another Robin dying on Bruce's watch (not just dying, but tortured to death!) is what convinces him to try to straight up kill Bruce via car bomb
Roman Sionis is no longer merely a tool against Batman, but another figure to demand vengeance be brought upon, another attempt to give Bruce a chance to right his wrongs and do what needs to be done
The confrontation with him and the Joker being all the more tragic due to how obvious Bruce's answer would have to be once Jason knows Bruce isn't going to avenge Stephanie either
Does Jason, once he escapes the rubble after UtRH is over, kill Black Mask anyways? Does he decide to avenge her himself? Or does he think that she too would demand that of Bruce, and find his death by a different hand unsatisfactory?
If he doesn't kill Black Mask, then when Steph is back, I feel confident he approaches her, tries to reach out to the other dead Robin, almost certainly makes the offer now that he can ask her. Does she take him up on it, gaining an ally and slipping into a far darker role? Does she instead refuse, either appealing to forgiveness or far more interestingly refusing both vengeance and forgiveness? How would Jason handle a refusal, which I gut instinct feel is more likely?
If he does kill Black Mask, then when Steph is back Jason drops his corpse at her feet like a loving housecat with a dead lizard and she has to grapple with her feelings about having someone really and truly avenge her!!! Like how DO you react to someone who you have been warned is wildly dangerous and mentally unstable coming up to you and saying, "I'm glad you're back, like me. I'm sorry you're back, like me. I made sure you could rest knowing he was dead, because I know what it feels like."
Like no matter how each character reacted to this happening there would be so much high stakes emotional shit to explore with both of them!! Revenge I feel like is such a pivotal thing for both characters, they mirror each other in so so many ways, they could be really interesting together if DC would just fucking let them!!!
Jason had a criminal father who he missed and wanted to avenge. Stephanie had a criminal father who she wanted vengeance on.
Jason started off as a fairly gentle soul who progressively became more violent and more hopeless as he was exposed to genuine horrors during his time as Robin. Stephanie starts off violent, angry and rash and finds her own courage and hope through her time as a crime fighter despite of the horrors she's been through.
Jason went to Africa and died there after Bruce failed to save him. Stephanie was taken to Africa via a fake death in order to save her from Bruce and the vigilante lifestyle.
I just...
There's just...
There's SO MUCH HERE I am genuinely fucking confused as to how this is not all deliberate?? And it's all just left on the cutting room floor because for no reason apparent to me they all just decided Stephanie and Jason were not gonna interact!
AAGHHHH!
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spencerified · 2 months
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Hiii, well, English is not my first language, sorry for that. I'm not a writer, but a big reader, so welcome to the community ^^
I was thinking about a reader who works in BAU, gets kidnapped, and for some reason the su-des was filming, and the reader is forced to confess that she like Spencer, (The whole team saw it).
As if the su-des were playing a game like truth or dare, and ended up reluctantly confessing that, the reader having a lot of confidence. If you read this and do it I would be very grateful, ily^^♡
(Can be fem!reader or g!reader, it doesn't matter, I repeat, if you read it and do it I will thank you for the rest of my life)
hiii!!! first of all thank you so much for trusting me with your request 🫶 this came out a little (a lot) longer than I thought it would but i hope it's still what you expected and that you enjoy it!! any other requests are very welcome ♡ lots of hugs for everyone
"Stop."
You're relieved that your weak attempt, your last resort at trying to get the Unsub to show you mercy, makes him stop in his tracks. You still feel the ghost of the edge of a knife itching against your skin, when it was unclear if he really wanted to hurt you or if it was just an attempt at getting you to break. To get you to spill your most deepest, darkest secrets, the ones hidden within the depths of your heart. 
Hidden even from Spencer, who looks at you from (presumably) miles away, through a sketchy live transmission sent to Garcia. Untraceable, of course. He desperately wishes he could just snap his fingers and make it all go away. Every tear, every ache, every whisper of pain. Wants to build a world where you won’t know suffering ever again.
Hotch's voice when he first trained you for what Penelope called 'The Non-Fun Parts of The Job' resonates in your hazy mind. Be aware your surroundings, he said, and you wonder if he might be disappointed on the other side of the camera haphazardly propped up a few feet in front of you, it's red light mocking you with each blink.
"Why are you doing this?" You say, emitting now only a pitiful vestige of your voice which is usually never afraid to speak on anything. It seems amusing to him because seconds later, a cheshire grin blossoms in his face, causing the hair on the back of your neck to stand. 
"Oh, you have no idea who I am, do you?" He says. You've never thought a person could inflict so much fear with only a look and a few words. "I don't remember you either, so no hard feelings. But the BAU has... humiliated me. Took everything I love away from me. My family, my job, my friends..." His voice grows low to the point that if you weren't so on edge, you would have to strain your ears to hear him. "They may think getting away for years feels like a reward to me, but they don't live what I live. 
Watching the TV waiting for the next time the BAU finally remembers me over the rest of the cases they have to push away to the… dusty corners of their file room because of their incompetency and decides to spread my picture all over the news once again... it's no way to live." 
The man's voice is so calm you constantly wait for the other shoe to drop. Like when you're so scared on a rollercoaster and your only option is to close your eyes and wait for the inevitable drop. It doesn't come. It seems like years of inflicting pain on others, and then years of hiding away from the consequences are an upstanding process on how to numb a person.
Spencer sees it too. He sees that this Unsub just won't lose control, and that scares him. Because someone this put together – in a rather bizarre way, wouldn't even bat an eye were he to decide on hurting you. And Spencer would have to watch it all, powerless, scribbling over and over again over his wide map spread out on the conference room's table. 
"I'm sorry..." You lie through your teeth. "That you have to live that way."
Fake empathy towards him, Hotch echoes on your head again. You must be reliving his instructions in your head as a way to keep your cool. You bite your lip so hard you fear it might bleed when you realize you're doing it. He's delusional, you reason. He thinks the BAU wanting to catch him for murdering at least 7 couples in public parks is somehow a way to wrong him. 
"Well, thank you," he says, a bitter tone bleeding into his words. "But it's not enough. Luckily for you, you know just what to do that will be." 
"I don't have any secrets," you confess. Outside of the BAU, you don't have a very interesting life. Go home, say hi to the neighbors in your building, sometimes smile at someone while shopping groceries. No burning, forbidden love affair – mostly because the only candidate you want is endearingly oblivious –, no superhero side quests that would make for an interesting conversation at lunch break with your coworkers. No skeletons in your closet, no secret vices or scandalous secrets that would obliterate your pristine reputation amongst your coworkers. Not even one involving the most important one of them. Of course not. 
"I'm sure you do. Everyone does," he circles your chair. You want to sob when you lose sight of him and feel his presence looming on the back of the chair. Not knowing when your life could potentially be taken away from you is jarring. 
"I don't," you say. You don't need to use the word 'please' for him to know that you're begging for your life. "I really don't." 
Pull yourself together, you think. This is not how a BAU agent must react when faced with a threat. But then again, you've only been here for less than a year, and maybe you just don't have it in you to keep your cool the way the rest of your team would. You take a harsh deep breath. 
Spencer has a rather uncanny ability to tune the world out. When he's engrossed in his job, his books, his facts, it's easy to lose himself on them. Specially when the only person who usually listens to him when he externalizes them is away. 
Not away, he thinks. That makes it seem like you're taking a vacation. A small voice in the back of his head wonders where would you go if you were given the chance to. Then, he remembers he might never find out if he doesn't figure this out soon. The case has the team's complete and utter attention, and he knows these are some of the best minds in the Bureau. But he still feels like it's his responsibility to figure it out; he can't help but think that it's what it's expected of him. He wonders if that expectation stems from being a prodigy, or because he's so close to you that it only makes sense it would be him. 
He feels a rush flowing through his veins when he feels like he's close to figuring it out. Then, he's harshly brought back to the reality where he hogs the conference room's table with his map and the team scatters over the rest of the room, working on who-knows-what, by a series of worrying hurried breaths of yours. 
"Okay, okay!" You say, when he roughly yanks you by the hair to keep you still. The knife you thought was previously discarded hovers over your ear. 
"One clean slash, and you'll be out like a light."
You don't find it in yourself to want to test the veracity of that theory out. 
So you realize your only shot at getting out of here might be giving him what he wants. You can't stall anymore, and one side of your brain tells you that it's your team, they'll get here in time, and the other asks itself if that might be a thing that just happens in unrealistic crime shows. 
"I..." You start. You wonder if Spencer is watching this. You would rather have every agent in the FBI hear this, all 35,000 of them, instead of him. You whimper when the knife inches closer to your skin. You can't die. Not here. Is keeping your perception of dignity worth losing your life? "I like my coworker." 
It doesn't satisfy the Unsub. "Which one?" 
You want to refuse to answer, to curl into a ball and cry until you recover the false sense of confidence you walk around with that has now been shattered. You'll get it back, eventually. Not if you die. So you toughen it up, and breathe deep. "Spencer." 
It sounds so stupid. A mere speck in the grand scheme of things, of problems and situations anyone would expect an FBI agent to have. But it's the hardest thing you've ever had to say.
And it's the hardest thing he's ever had to hear. If it were in any other situation, he wouldn't have put it past him to jump in glee. You, with your head always held high, never one to shy away from showing who you were to the world, with your gentle soul that lured him in even when he tried to keep his heart safe from rejection... You liked him. But that's not his focus right now. Even if every single train of thought in his brain has come to a catastrophic halt, he has to focus, because he can't take one more second of seeing you trying to keep calm with a knife to your throat. 
A picture of Hannah Davis, one of the victims from the original case, hung up on the wall behind you ends up giving the Unsub's whole act away. Still, it doesn't make a lot of sense for Hannah to have hung up a picture of herself in her own house, so the team splits to cover both the boyfriend's house and Hannah's. 
It's just a precautionary measure. Spencer knows exactly where you are.
"Oh, Dr. Reid. Idiots interrogated me about once or twice as a witness and he was a real boom with the ladies at the precinct back then. Let me tell you, if I had his charm, I wouldn't have had to resort to killing couples to get off." 
The Unsub lets go of your hair with no warning and your head hangs down as if you were a rag doll. You find it in yourself to hum uninterestedly at his sick attempt of joking. 
You don't think you've ever felt your heart beating as hard as it is right now. And when you tune out the sound of the man talking and rambling about God knows what, you realize that the thumping you hear in your ears isn't your heart. That maybe the creaking on the stairs isn't a product of your delirious mind conjuring up a sequence where you magically get saved from the bad guy.
You sigh when the man behind you yanks you back again. This time, you feel the need to put on a facade. Make it look like you’ve come to terms with it; if this is how you go, then so be it. The knife on your throat makes your heart rate pick back up, but you don't whimper. You wonder if you're trying to keep it together for yourself or because you are ashamed of the image your team will have of you after this if you don't.  
You hear Morgan kick the door down. Usually, you're on the other side of this. You help talk an Unsub down, and then make fun of Morgan after for kicking the door instead of opening it like a civilized FBI agent. Talking them down doesn't always work. Sometimes, you end up with another casualty added to the case. In the worst outcome, you end up with two more. You're not as unafraid as you thought. Please, God, you think. This cannot be the end. 
Morgan screaming at the Unsub to put the knife down falls in deaf ears. It's only white noise to you now, and maybe that stems from the fact that you have been held hostage for what felt like days with no food, no water, no sun, and you feel so close to it being over. Soon, you'll be on a hospital bed, eating food that only the thought of makes you feel nauseated but even that is better than this. Maybe Spencer will sneak you a treat. Or maybe that's wishful thinking. 
As you're dwelling on what the consequences of him potentially hearing your confession might be, you hear a gun go off. You don't even react when the pressure exerted on the right side of your neck, the weight of the arm holding you in place suddenly fades away as your head falls forward. 
You hear the thud of a body hit the ground. Maybe we can still be friends, you try to reason. Spencer drops his smoking gun to a side as Morgan tries to untie your hands behind your back. Maybe he'll reciprocate, or is that too much of a delusion to have even in your incoherent state? Spencer holds you in his arms when you have nothing pushing you back against the chair anymore. 
"I'm sorry," you sob into his shoulder, not an ounce of strength remaining in your body. You were not made for this. Not made for withstanding this kind of torment. If you mean the torment of being kidnapped, or the torment that awaits you once you're not hysterically sobbing in front of the man you're not ready to admit you love, you're not sure. "I'm so sorry." 
"Hey," he says, tenderly. You don't know how much time it's gone by since the last time you saw him. The only thing you know is that this kind of gentleness is now unfamiliar after harsh hands engraved themselves all over you. "Hey, it's okay. What are you sorry for?" 
"I'm sorry," you say, worn out, the words echoing around your head like a DVD screensaver. You then register his question. "For saying that." 
You don't specify what. It's not necessary; it never has been with Spencer. Somehow, you both know exactly what the other means, with just a glance, a brush of an arm when somehow you find yourself trapped in his orbit once again. 
"It's alright," is it? Part of him wonders if being with you might have become even more unattainable now than it was before. If you'll push him away because the memory of the circumstances of your confession is too painful to bear. His hand hovers in the air before he finds a moment where he feels like you won't get up and run away from him if he touches you. You shudder, but ultimately stay right where you are. "Don't cry. You're okay." 
Are we okay? You have to ask. But maybe right now is not the moment. Maybe right now all you want is to be held before everything goes down the drain. You've hit rock bottom, and everyone probably sees it too. Spencer just wishes you find it in your heart to let him be the one to help you out of there. You don't need to yell for help if you have him – the most minuscule mutter of your burdens will be enough to have him snapping into action. He knows what it's like to give every sign that you could ever think of and still have them ignored. He isn't about to let you go through that. 
"We're going to go home now, yeah?" You nod. When you come to it, your fingers ache from holding onto his shirt so hard you want to apologize to him in case you had hurt him. You don't find the words. The rise and fall of his chest had lulled you into the deepest, calmest sleep you have managed to get in a while, even before the kidnapping happened at all, and in this moment, you almost swear that it'll all be okay. 
When you wake up, there's a steady hold in your hand as the ambulance rocks back and forth. 
"God, they need to get that street fixed," you say. You don't recognize your voice, the rasp in your throat being the only thing to confirm that it is indeed you speaking. It takes you a moment to realize that the hand that holds yours firmly is Spencer's. 
You'd be lying if you said you weren't scared to look at him. What would his expression be like? Disgust? Perhaps Morgan made him ride with you until they got to the ambulance. Perhaps he offered to do so because he wanted to do something nice for you before he completely tore your heart to shreds by saying he doesn't like you back. Perhaps-
"We're almost there." The way his voice manages to shut every deprecating thought in your head should be studied. As a reflex, you turn your head to look at him. You wish you hadn't, because the way he looks at you like you're a masterpiece – a rather flawed one, even if he doesn't think so, isn't helping the ache in your chest. Your first thought is that it's awe, but then you think you might want to get that get that checked out when you get to the hospital. 
You barely notice his hand shifting around yours, until it holds your wrist, his thumb pressed softly but firm against your pulse point. He can probably feel the way your heart quickens when he leans in to take a look at your face. 
"Does the light hurt your eyes?" You nod, sluggishly. He turns over to look at the paramedic who sits next to you. You feel a little bit of relief at the fact that no one's hovering over you. It means you're okay. It's all minor. And mostly psychological. Spencer starts listing studies and tests they apparently need to run on you, and while you love the way he rambles, you don't think you can keep up with him without getting a stroke in the process right now.
You doze off again. God, you needed that. You hadn't closed your eyes for more than a couple of seconds during all of your stay in that house. Stay. You don't know what else to call it. 
Emily stayed with you while they checked you out and in her words, it was like you were moving on autopilot. It was unnerving, but the doctors had informed her that there was nothing wrong besides a couple of nasty bruises you would have to spend extra concealer on. 
Spencer offered to stay overnight. One can only imagine how unsettling it was for him to lift his head from his book to see you sitting up like a spring at 2:45 am. 
"Hi," he says, his voice a hushed breath as he sits on the edge of your bed, smiling awkwardly at you. There's no one else in the room, but it's like if any of you speaks louder than a whisper, the bubble you're in will burst. Your chest heaves with hurried breaths, and you rub your eyes.
"Hey." You're already dreading this conversation. Is there any way to go back to before you were kidnapped and forced to confess you're in love with your best friend/coworker? Anyhow, you don't want to stay in the dark anymore and hurry to speak directly to the point. "I don't want things to be weird between us." 
"We haven't even talked for a minute, what do you mean?" 
You let out a short, humorless laugh, which could be easily just interpreted as a hum. You scramble over the clutter that is your mind right now to find a topic that will help you evade the awkwardness. "... Why are you still awake?" 
He didn't expect you to ask that, if the way his gaze drifts to the side is anything to go by. 
"The book was very... interesting, to say the least," he blatantly lies. You don't know if he's a bad liar or if you're just an expert in the Spencer Reid sciences. 
"I'm sure it was." 
You don't speak for a minute. A minute and 33 seconds, he counts, and you're heading strong for a second one when his voice breaks the uncomfortable atmosphere. 
"Listen, I..." 
"I know you heard it." Everyone probably did. And it'll be less humiliating if you act like you don't wish you could just crawl out of your skin and hide. "I'm sorry. I just didn't want to die." 
"I'm glad you said it." 
You don't know if he's glad you said it because otherwise you would have probably bled out before they even got to the house or because the fog that used to sit atop of whatever weird tension you both seemed to develop whenever you were the last ones in the conference room, paired to interview a witness, or sharing the big couch on the jet, is finally cleared up. 
You can't lie and say you're not relieved you did, too.
"I'm glad too," you say, mostly to yourself. Where do you go from here? Spencer knows a lot of things, none of which seem useful at the moment. He's almost tempted to bring Morgan in for moral support; otherwise, he's about to perform the worst ridicule he's ever had the pleasure to star in. 
You wait for him to speak. He doesn't, and instead stares at the bedsheets that look like their sole existence is an offense by the way his brow creases. 
"You look like something's bothering you," you say, tentatively testing the waters. Can you already joke with him, or is it too soon to pretend like everything's okay? "Is it not a nice pattern?" 
He smiles for a split second. You didn't realize the air had been lacking from your lungs until this very second. "The pattern is geometrically off. If you look at it closely, you'll see that the diamonds aren't quite aligned properly. It seems minor, yet it's still evident enough to unconsciously make the pattern less appealing to the eyes. I suppose that's what you get with mass-produced and machine-made products nowadays."
You smile warmly at him. Only then it's that your chest tightens as the realization of just how much you missed just hearing him talk about things that would have never even crossed your mind in a thousand years, dawns upon you.
"Sorry. I forgot my magnifying glass at home." 
"I see you didn't left the wit back there." You smile at him. It feels foreign. Just a second ago you were avoiding looking at him like the mere action of doing so would make you burst into flames on the spot. Your smile is like fuel for the burning courage consuming his insides as he opens his mouth again. "I... I think- No, sorry. I mean, I am certain that..." Okay, Spencer. Great way to start. He tries to gather his thoughts, which proves to be a much harder challenge when they're all a jumbled mess. 
"You like your coworker too?" 
"Yeah," he says. His lips curl into a warm, genuine smile that does wonders at speaking of the deep affection that harbors in the depths of his soul. One only reserved for you. He's quick to repress it because he doesn't want to seem stupid. 
You don't let him throw you off your feet. "Dr. Reid, can you wait until I don't feel and look like a bus just ran over me to confess your unconditional and undying love for me?" 
He wouldn't have expected a different answer from you. The confidence you wear on the outside is a mask for the way he makes you melt like a bar of chocolate in warm weather on the inside. You don't need him to answer to that. He touches your hair, and you turn to look at the bag of skittles placed on the bedside table, and you know he'll gladly wait until you don't feel like you've been stripped of all your defenses. Until you feel like yourself again. 
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mysticheathenn · 4 months
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What Are The Lies You Tell Yourself?
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Hi, Hexlings!
This pick-a-card reading is about the many things you tell yourself to keep yourself small, stay in toxic relationships, make yourself feel bad, etc. Maybe even words of kindness to help dispel those lies.
This is a general reading, remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to seek professional help. Tarot should be used as entertainment and not a for sure answer to your problems but as a guide, a sense of hope, and amusement.
Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.
MasterList
Patreon Link
Ko-Fi Donations
Next Reading: Patreon (unless spirit says otherwise)
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Pile l:
What are the lies you tell yourself? Tarot: 4 Swords (reversed), 2 of Swords, Awakening, 9 of Wands, 7 of Swords (reversed)
Pile l you have two different messages so I will start off with the first message of those who like to self-sabotage their lives. You like to feed yourself the narrative that you are too busy and everything is hard because you are afraid of failure. You are afraid of the things that can come from actually doing the many things that you say you want and will do. This might be success, failure, or fear of losing those around you because you aren't sure if leveling up will cause a rift or if people will start asking for money but either way, you refuse to look at yourself with complete honesty and accountability when it comes to achieving your goals because you are always feeding yourself lies as to why you can't do them out of fear of the unknown and it's time you stop lying to yourself. This doesn't even have to be a fear of failure or success, etc this could just be you feeding into your imposter syndrome or for some of you feeding into your Lana Del Rey era where you fear if you aren't sad, stressed, or anxious you won't be loved, be a funny person anymore, whatever the reasoning is. You have to give yourself a chance to fly or else you will never know what you are truly capable of or even know if you can really fly.
The 2nd message is for those who identify with hyper-independence. You refuse to acknowledge the fact that the reason you do everything yourself is because you fear having the few people around you let you down like others have. So you continue to feed this narrative of "I like to do things myself." "I'm the only one who can do things right around here." While some of it may be true...you really deep down fear people letting you down again. You are prolonging the inevitable of letting people show you who they really are. Let others around you help you so you can have a break now and then, stop always trying to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. If someone messes up or doesn't come through...so be it. You can't control everything in your life...you are going to have to release some of that control and go with the flow and allow things to come and go no matter how lonely or horrible the feeling may feel. Better will come when you stop trying to control everything.
Extra Messages: Tea Trea Oracle Deck: June, Slowly but surely getting ahead, dissatisfaction with life, An exciting life, waiting for news/ package/ or letter, Do not back down from the opposition show strength and fortitude, solid foundation success with effort, feeling tied down or frustrated.
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Pile ll:
What are the lies you tell yourself? Tarot: 7 of Cups, The Star, Page of Cups, 8 of Swords, Queen of Pentacles.
Similar to how pile l has two messages so does this pile. The first message I would like to ask is who hurt you? Who hurt you enough to where it made you believe that you can't be loved, shouldn't be loved, nor seek love. You continuously keep yourself in a small corner...my own little corner from the Cinderella movie featuring Brandi is playing in my head (Link to Song). Long story short you feel small when you are around others like you have to change who you are in order to be and feel loved but when you are alone you are exactly who you want to be if not exactly who you want to be at least you have an idea or a sense that who you are currently is not who you want to be and it's sad love. I want to hug you and let you know that you should be around others who see you, for you. You are not hard to love and you deserve the best and purest love there is. Stop feeding into the narrative of others as your own, because it's not.
The second message is similar to the first message and a little bit of the first message of pile l. You like to tell yourself reasons why you don't deserve nice things or feed into the mindset that you will never amount to financial abundance. I feel some of this mindset has to deal with childhood/adolescent trauma others of you this may have developed because you kept feeling like every time you got a leg up life would knock you down a peg as to tell you, you aren't meant to have good things when in reality life was trying to redirect you or point you in a direction of something better. You were meant to shine and have many options of abundance in your life. This message is for a few of you but this also has to deal with your looks. You possibly feel that your looks are not up to par and that everyone you meet is always better looking than you. You may also have a fear that if you ever did decide to date that the person you are with would leave you for someone better looking or "better" in general.
Extra Messages: Tea Trea Oracle Deck: A path with money is waiting for you to find it, Getting together with friends, Take care or there will be a loss of material wealth, Opportunity of windfall, Stepping into a new experience, Work/success/achievement, Affairs with your family.
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Pile lll:
What are the lies you tell yourself? Tarot: 5 of Wands, Justice, 6 of Cups, 10 of Wands
This doesn't feel like a lie per se that you tell yourself like the other piles but more so of the delusion you feed yourself. This feels more of a victim mentality mixed in with entitlement and before you say nope not me....*David Beckham's voice* Be Honest. How do you feel when you aren't getting your way or dealing with small inconveniences. Be Honest. If the answer is you complain about life not being fair and you go into victim mentality mode that everything always happens to you and not for you or you just feel for whatever delusional reason that life must always cater to you without any kind of effort is....quite bold...I will applaud you for that love. You have the confidence of a mediocre white man, haha. I love to see it. This per se again isn't all that bad but it kind of is as it stems from your childhood of you parents always handing you gold stars for just existing or putting in "at least they did it" energy. You like to believe that you are doing hard work or you are doing a lot when really you self-sabotage or you do one little thing and expect life or others to bend towards your will because you "tried". This message doesn't even feel like a message to help guide you but more so to act as a mirror because it has been a while since you have been completely honest with yourself and your behavior. Some of you might be sick of yourselves and need this while others of you don't smell your own shit.
Extra Messages: None. You don't really need extra messages as your reading was all the message that you needed for a shift and clarity on how things are. Stop lying to yourself. Look in the mirror and ask if you really love what you see? If you really love the kind of person you are? If you really love how you move in your life towards things you want.
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Pile lV:
What are the lies you tell yourself? Tarot: The Tower, The Empress, The Sun, Queen of Cups
Three major arcana cards and one minor arcana say a lot about you, pile lV. At first because of the type of reading this is I thought maybe you might be afraid or lying to yourself about becoming successful or experiencing happiness but as I drew clarifiers for your pile it started to come together that you are not being authentic to who you are in your feminine energy. What I mean is that you are people-pleasing way too much to the point where when you want to say no, you say yes instead. This pile gives me the vibes that when a guy approaches you, you are on your "best lady-like behavior when politely declining the guy." Even when he keeps persisting and etc you refuse to act out of character and say listen my guy back the fuck up and fuck off. Take a hint. You can be in your feminine energy and still maintain boundaries, and say what you want to say without coming off as "hard, rough around the edges, etc. There was a YouTube short the other day that was from the Clock app where someone was making fun while also having a point when it comes to people pleasers. "Oh, you're such a people pleaser...how many people have you pleased?" So many people have stitched it not being able to answer this question because who have you pleased? Do you consider yourself a dog pleasing its owner for treats, shelter, and so forth. For some of you, this all stems from childhood because maybe you grew up in a transactional household where your parents or family didn't do anything for you without expecting something in return, or even romantic and friendships have done this. It's okay to say no from time to time. It's okay to not be this prime and prissy-like persona. Again you can be loving and kind while still painting boundaries and saying no to things you don't want to do.
Extra Messages: None like pile lll, you don't really need any extra messages as your message has everything that you need to hear.
Thank you for liking and reblogging my readings. I always appreciate you guys on here and on Patreon.
Stay safe and be blessed
Next Reading: Patreon (Unless spirit says otherwise)
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fallenfrommars6277 · 4 months
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I didn't see anyone address to this properly, so I'm going to try to put into words something that I've been thinking since my rewatch of Dead Boy Detectives.
I've seen some people saying that Edwin's punishment in hell doesn't make any sense because he doesn't belong there and honestly I don't entirely agree. I mean, Edwin's designated afterlife isn't hell of course, but I think his punishment has a meaning.
We can see that hell is shaped quite like Dante's hell and we can only suppose that it works like it as well, so the souls receive a punishment that is an analogy or a contraposition to their guilt, that means that the punishment is somehow similar to their guilt and what they did in their life or the complete opposite.
Therefore, we see the lustful people indulging in their pleasure, the greedy people eating and vomiting, the slothful not being able to move, Maxine tearing her letters and of course Simon. He keeps tearing the pages of a book with the initials of himself and Edwin, his secretly and impermissibly loved one, causing himself little paper cuts that seem no big deal, but they are endless: an infinite number of little hurts, that put together of course aren't so little anymore. But what's the meaning behind his punishment? Well, I think it's an analogy to the feelings he must have felt when he was alive, I mean, he was gay in a male boarding school and he was in love with Edwin, he must have suffered a constant little pain reminding him of his "guilt".
And Edwin's line "if you punish yourself everywhere becomes hell" kinda pairs with it: it's not like he's in hell because of his sense of guilt, of course he's there because he participated in the ritual that killed Edwin, but we see that his designated afterlife isn't hell, he's stuck there because he thinks he's guilty, not of having killed Edwin or at least not only, he feels guilty for his feelings for him.
Moving to Edwin, I think that it's the same thing. He goes to hell only because he's the victim of a sacrifice but he's also stuck there in his endless and cyclic torture: he is chased by a giant spider made of dolls, that no matter how hard he tries to outrun (or maybe precisely because he tries so hard to run away) catches him and tears him apart and basically eats him "alive".
Finally getting to the point, I don't know if I'm delirious but I see an analogy between this punishment and Edwin's life. I mean, I don't think that he's finding out now that he likes boys, I think that now he's being able to acknowledge it to himself and to others, but if we think of the scene at school when Simon goes to him and he runs away (he then points it out clearly saying that he used to run every time he tried to get closer), I think that it's actually clear that he's feeling something. Of course, they're feelings that he's not allowed to feel (or worse, they're feelings no one talks about at his time, it's like they shouldn't even exist), but you can't stop a feeling, you can act in denial, tell yourself and others that it's nothing, but you still feel that feeling, whether you want it or not. And that feeling pressed down to your core tries every way to burst out and if it can't find a way, it simply tears you apart and eats you from the inside.
So, just like when he was alive he kept running from his feelings, that eventually would have broken him into pieces (because if he kept living he probably would have had a life torn apart between who he really was and how he had to appear), in his death he is condemned to run away from the spider made of dolls (why the dolls? I don't know, maybe they refer to his "feminine side", the boys that sacrifice him call him Mary Ann after all, but I'm not sure) that tears him apart and eats him whole.
Again, maybe I'm just obsessing real hard, but either way I don't think that Edwin's punishment is just meaningless.
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Sometimes Silence Is The Best Medicine
Jiyan x reader
Notes: I really needed some comfort from my husband, so I'm throwing this out there for others.
Reader based of of oc (but given name inserts), gn reader, they/them used, afab anatomy possibly mentioned.
Also small warning about some graphic imagery and also not proofread lol
_
It's ringing, your head is ringing. It's not some stark white noise, it doesn't even sound like anything. It's like there's an absence of noise, yet it's every noise as well. You can't block it out either, it heightens when you hear anything. It just won't stop. You wanted to scream. Why won't it stop-
"Are you alright [Y/n]?" A sudden voice calls out, startling you out of your internal screaming. Gentle hands grasp onto your hands, now realizing they're gripping onto your hair tightly, coaxing them to release the [h/c] locks. The person doesn't let go, instead they keep a firm grip on your skin in comfort. "Breathe."
"I am." You reply, acknowledging the slow breathes you were taking. The realization that tears were running down struck you, feeling the droplets land onto your joined hands. Taking a moment to recollect yourself, you lift your head a bit to look at the person before you. Though you didn't see their face, instead you immediately recognized them by the clothes. "I'm fine, Jiyan."
"Forgive me, but I don't believe you." He says, giving you hands a gentle squeeze. It's easy for him to notice how you aren't meeting his eyes or how tense your posture was. "What happened?"
"Nothing did." You sighed, turning your head away to look on at the main city of Jinzhou. The gentle breeze picked up your clothing a bit, letting it flow like petals. "Just...my own head being my biggest enemy."
"I see." He pauses, unsure how to respond. "Would it be better to talk about it?"
"Not really?" You shrug your shoulders, ignoring the almost itching sensation the fabric that clung to your form gave. "It's hard to explain."
"Try it. Explain to me."
"It's...It's like everything is too much." You begin to say, focusing on the warmth his hands gave. "Every sound is deafening, almost every touch is itchy, and no matter where I look my eyes burn because it's too bright. It makes me want to scream out loud until my voice is gone and scratch my skin off."
"That's..."
"I know, it's intense." You chuckle as you can practically see his expression from the way his voice sounded. "But it happens, it's just something I have to get over until the next time."
"Does having someone with you help?"
"Sometimes? Other times no." You squeeze his hands, desiring more warmth to seep into your palms. "Though luckily this is one of those times."
"I'm glad." He smiles, reciprocating your grasp. You hear a small shuffle before you feel his shoulder bump into your, causing you to tense a bit. "Sorry."
"It's okay."
He releases one hand, using the now free limb to bring your head onto him. "Is this okay?"
"...kind of." You mutter, feeling your cheeks turning a bit red at the contact. A small thought crossed your mind, but you weren't too sure if you wanted to go through with it.
"I remember you saying compressions usually helped with those who experience similar things. Would that also work for you?" He asks softly, studying your body language to make sure he wasn't overstepping.
"I'm not sure."
"Are you willing to try?"
"...yes."
Without another word he guides you to sit in front of him, the grass brushing against your skin irritatingly. You grunt in annoyance, before he pushes you against him and wraps his arms around you. You stiffen in his hold, hearing him whisper into your ear to relax and breathe. You do so and as the breeze tickled your cheeks, you began to smell the clear waters that were nearby.
"Would you be alright with talking more? Or is being silent better?" He asked gently, keeping a comfortable firm grip on your form.
"I wanna enjoy the view of the city a bit." You whisper, the desire to scream slowly leaving you. You barely could even register the fact that the sounds of the world around were quietening.
So you both sat there, taking in the shared warmth as they watched the sun begin the set down past the city.
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hunterbunter3000 · 1 year
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Thinking about a fake dating scenario like say Sweets family is always bothering her about not dating anyone and she lies and says “actually I am seeing someone!” But then they ask to meet the person so now she has to find someone ti be her fake date. I would imagine the boys would be fighting each other for a chance to do that.
I know this is super random haha I’m just talking to talk at this point.
YES! AND RANDOM IS GOOD 👏👏 talk the talk and walk the walk babes! Any ideas you have SPEAK ON IT!!! 💓
But omg you're right, they would
Sweetheart walked in the living room, where the team was sitting on the couch drinking beers. She was talking on the phone as she walked past them to the kitchen, not even noticing the boys.
And she's talking to her mom about her love life. Saying "Yes ma! I will bring him this time!" And "You can tell Danni to shut the hell up cause he is real". And then she says love you and hangs up the phone.
Sweetheart, looking at everybody:
The boys looking at her:
Sweetheart: Okay who wants to be my boyfriend for the day
then they all say M E
And all hell breaks loose 💀💀
Soap: What tae FUCK do y'mean 'mE', Ghost?
Ghost: the fuck do YOU mean 'mEaH', Mactavish?
Soap: I SAID ME
Ghost: nah see-- you did it again. 'MeAh'. It's two letters.
Soap: AH WULL PUMPIN' BREAK YE YAH BRITISH CRUMPET
Sweetheart: uhm, guys?
Gaz: Bitch don't even try
Horangi: And why should I listen to you?
Gaz: You get a nose bleed everytime Sweets hugs you.
Horangi: WHAT?? HOW DO-- HOW CAN YOU EVEN SEE THAT I WEAR A MASK
Gaz: it drips under it, bruv. And I don't think her parents want to witness an extremely touched starved man get an aneurysm everytime their daughter touches him.
Sweetheart: GOOD LORD GAZ--
Horangi: OH YOU THINK YOU'RE SO MUCH BETTER? YOU CRY EVERYTIME SWEETHEART TELLS YOU A GOOD JOB
Gaz: YO I DO NOT-
Ghost: He cries when Capitan says it too.
Horangi: THAT TOO
Gaz: GHOST STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THIS
Price: You cry when I tell you good job?
Sweetheart, kinda touched but concerned: And you cry when I say it too?
Gaz: UHM- SIR I-- WELL SWEETS YOU-- FUCK
Krueger: Ignoring the emotionally unstable man--
Gaz: HEY
Krueger: You should take me, Kleine Göttin.
König: Don't, Sweets. You'll never return if you do
Krueger: König what the fuck
Krueger: You can't even talk your way into getting gas at a gas station, you think her parents want to see you freeze like a tortoise having sex when they talk to you?
König: AT LEAST I DONT SNIFF ANY SEATS SWEETHEART WAS IN
Krueger: THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS
König: IT HAS E V E R Y T H I N G TO DO WITH THIS
Sweetheart: Krueger-- YOU DO WHAT
Ghost: He also sniffs your hair
Sweetheart: You do that too, Ghost
Ghost, stares at Krueger: Not while you're sleeping.
Sweetheart: KRUEGER????
Krueger: GHOST SHUT THE FUCK U P
Alejandro: Please don't take Krueger, mama. He would end up in prison
Krueger: (angry German words)
Alejandro: You can take me! They'll love my charm.
Price: What, so you can flirt your way out of personal questions they'll most definitely ask you?
Ghost: Especially with that five-palm forehead you got
Alejandro: CÁLLATE LA BOCA DECORACIÓN DE HALLOWEEN
Rudy: Price, you have no say in this matter. You can practically be her father's golfing buddy.
Sweetheart: uhm, my dad doesn't golf--
Price: I'm 37 you fucking Muppet
Sweetheart: nevermind.
Rudy, surprised: Really?? Damn I didn't know that! You just looked like one of Super Mario's long lost cousins to me because of the janitor mustache you have on your old body
Price: Mother fucker--
Ghost: I don't think you would do well either when you look like a human gopher
Rudy: GHOST WHERE DO YOU KEEP COMING FROM
Alex: ROACH OW STOP HITTING MY FACE
Roach on Alex's shoulders:😠 pap-pap-pap-pap-pap-pap (like a fucking cat)
Sweetheart, rubbing her temples: Oh my fucking GOD- I'LL JUST CHOOSE MYSELF THIS IS TAKING TOO LONG AND GAZ LOOKS LIKE HES ABOUT TO CRY
Gaz, tearing up: I AM NOT
Soap: Me!
Horangi: It's me!
Graves, picking his nails:
Graves: It's probably not me.
Keegan: Uh... If it's no trouble, you can take me. I have to give your brother his game boy back anyway
Everyone looking at Keegan:
Soap: w u t
She takes Keegan.
(He honestly had a good time! Yes, he did start a fire with her siblings accidentally but other than that her parents loved him. Sweetheart sent pictures to everyone and omg they were so SALTY SAD AND JEALOUS. Ghost kinda smiled at a picture with Sweetheart and Keegan together, Keegan's face without the mask and grease paint wearing a nervous but kind smile. He looks happy. The others don't but they'll get over it someday💀💀)
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