#It takes however long it takes and however much of all it must. Pain. frustration. Love. grief. Time. Energy. Words. Etc | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

brokenmenswhore · 11 months ago

Note

Hey hey! I love your Aegon fics so much that I want to know if you would write a story where after your kid with Aegon passed away, he promised never to touch you again so you wouldn't have to endure bearing more of his kids and witnessing their death. But you yearn for your husband every night and will act dirty to make him touch you again. By acting dirty I mean doing sexy things to instigate him when he's alone with you.

of all the things in this life that i’m good at, being intentionally sexy is NOT one of them, so i’m hoping this isn’t awkward :) my biggest fear is that someone’s gonna not like what i write for their request i’m on my knees pls don’t hate me

all in | aegon ii targaryen

pairing: aegon targeryen x fem!reader

warnings: angst, mentions of a deceased child, smut (MDNI 18+)

────── ☾ ──────

It had been three long, dark, and lonely months since the death of your son.

He passed away at only a few weeks of age due to health complications, and both you and your husband, Aegon, were left devastated.

Aegon had a tendency to blame himself for anything negative in his life, his self hatred running through the depths of his soul. Your son was his heir, and he felt as if he lost a piece of himself, and blamed himself for the health issues your child was having. “It must be from me,” he would whisper to himself, almost incapable of accepting that some things he could not be faulted for.

When Grand Maester Orwyle proclaimed your son dead, Aegon broke. He was hysterical, unable to speak, the only sound from his lips was an occasional scream of anger and sadness. You grieved in private, the joy you felt from your son’s birth still so recent that your stomach was still not yet back to a normal state.

The first few weeks were hard on both of you, but you at least attempted to lean on each other. However, Aegon was difficult to console when he got in his own head. You were both laying awake in bed, comforting one another when your hand ran across his chest, toying with his shirt. As difficult as the week had been, you were desperate to feel close to your husband in some capacity other than sadness and grief.

Aegon sighed and moved your hand away, rolling over on his side and turning his back toward you. You stayed stagnant and stared at him for a moment. “Aegon?”

“We can’t.”

“I know this grief is still very new, but I-“

“We can’t, ever.”

You sat in disbelief. Tears threatened to spill from your eyes at his words. You were in need of comfort, as was Aegon, and his declaration frustrated you. “And why not?”

“I refuse to risk putting you through this again.”

You were speechless. You tried to think of something to say, a few small noises leaving your lips as you tried to begin a sentence, but to no avail.

Aegon could hear your attempts. “What you have been through these past few weeks- I cannot watch you bear another one of my children, only to endure the pain of losing them again. I have never seen you happier than the day our son was born, and now-“ Aegon’s voice trailed off, “It is not worth the risk.”

Tears of sadness and frustration were now freely falling, Aegon’s back still to you as you spoke, “you do not seriously intend for us to never be intimate again. For the rest of our lives, Aegon, I need you. I am all in. Are you not? Do you not need me as well?”

“I need to relieve you of this pain more,” he responded, “and there are more than enough whores in King’s Landing.”

Your breath hitched in your throat at his final comment. You couldn’t believe he said such a thing. You knew he was hurting, and oftentimes pushed you away when he was, and you decided to assume it was an intentionally harmful comment meant to do just that. You chose to believe that he didn’t really mean it, but you still wished he didn’t say it. You understood his pain, but that didn’t make it alright to take it out on you.

You didn’t dignify his comment with a response, you simply rolled out of bed, fighting to maintain your composure as you walked out of the room, slowly shutting the door behind you.

The next morning, you returned to your shared chambers to ready yourself for the day, and Aegon was already up and dressing.

“Where did you sleep?” he asked.

You untied your robe as you approached the outfit laid out for you by your handmaidens. Handmaidens stopped assisting you and Aegon without being called into the room, as per your marital request.

“Elsewhere,” you stated.

Aegon sighed. “That is not an answer.”

“Why should it matter to you? If you get lonely, you can simply bed your whores,” you spat, throwing his comment from last night back at him.

Aegon didn’t handle you being mad at him very well. He needed everyone to like him at all times, but he didn’t cherish anyone’s opinion of him as much as he did yours. Knowing you were upset with him killed him.

“Do not be upset with me,” he pleaded, standing behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Oh? I thought we were not to touch each other any longer?”

Aegon retracted his arms, moving directly next to you so he could catch your eyes. “I don’t want you to be upset,” he said.

“Then do not promise to deprive me of something you and I both want and need.”

“I cannot put you through this again. Do you not understand that? Whatever is going on within me, it passed something bad down to our child, and if we remain intimate I risk you falling pregnant with another child we will inevitably lose. As your husband, it is my duty to ensure you do not have to go through such a thing again.”

“It is out of your control, Aegon,” you said, your voice low as you held his face in your palms, “and it is not your fault.”

He held onto your wrists, but didn’t move your hands. “This decision is not meant to hurt you.”

“I know.” Aegon was set in his decision, which meant that there was no point in arguing with it right now. You did not have the energy.

────── ☾ ──────

The next several weeks were filled with longing, your heart and body yearning to be close to your husband, now that it had been three whole months since your son passed.

You didn’t press the subject with Aegon, allowing him room to breathe. It was difficult, and you found yourself needing him more and more the longer you went without him.

You knew that despite his decisions, you always had power over Aegon. He was completely enamored with you, and oftentimes changed his mind to match yours. When he made decisions you didn’t agree with, it took a hell of a lot of fighting to get him to falter, but it was not always impossible. This particular instance couldn’t be impossible- you couldn’t survive without him.

“We we supposed to depart last hour!” Aegon called out to you, waiting by the door with his guards for you, the hour getting later and later. House Dondarrion was hosting the Targaryen family for supper at Blackhaven as a gesture of appreciation for the King’s assistance in the Stormlands.

Your handmaidens tightened and tied the final strings of your corset. It was new, and made specifically for you, only this time, you made special requests. It was the standard green and gold, and still kept you covered, but less so than usual. The garment left your chest nearly exposed, just as you had planned.

“They must have forgotten your measurements, Your Grace, there is not nearly enough fabric,” one of your handmaidens spoke, fidgeting with the seam on your cleavage.

“It will do just fine, thank you very much,” you said, “we must be going.”

You were escorted to meet up with your husband, who couldn’t look away from you the moment you came into view.

“What the fuck is this?” he whispered the moment you were next to him.

“What ever do you mean?”

“Everyone here can see too much of you in that,” he continued.

You shrugged your shoulders, playing nonchalantly dumb. “They must have forgotten my measurements.”

You gazed up at him, and he could tell you were playing him. He knew you well enough to tell.

“What are you trying to do?”

You brushed your hair from your neck to behind your shoulder, making even more skin come into view. “Waiting to leave. We are already behind, are we not?”

You started to walk away, but Aegon grabbed your arm and pulled you back. “You can’t possibly think I’m going to let you leave in such a thing.”

“It is not your choice.”

Aegon knew that despite the roles placed on both of you from a very young age, he couldn’t control you if he tried.

Throughout supper, Aegon was on alert to the gazes of other gentlemen upon his wife. Many approached you two to offer their condolences for the loss of your son, making you tense up and your breathing quicken from stress, which only made your chest more obvious.

You could tell Aegon was bothered, but that’s what you wanted, so you made no effort to be modest.

“Rather lewd tonight,” Aemond said, standing behind your chair, greeting you for the first time all night, “don’t you think?”

“Perhaps,“ you responded, taking a sip from your cup.

Aemond leaned down next to your ear and whispered, “What’s he done then, hm?”

You giggled at the question, Aemond smiling as he stood tall and moved to greet the people next to you, ending your interaction. Aegon couldn’t hear what Aemond said, but Aemond being so close to you and whispering in your ear angered him.

“What did he say?” Aegon asked, unable to help the curiosity.

“Nothing of importance,” you said, remaining stoic.

Aegon’s nostrils flared as another member of House Dondarrion approached the table.

Aegon remained observant the entire night, a possessiveness consuming him as he intentionally stared at anyone who gawked at you, his gaze intimidating them into looking away.

When you returned to King’s Landing, you retreated to your shared chambers.

“It does not befit a queen to dress in such a vulgar way. I cannot fathom why you would do such a thing tonight,” Aegon said.

You poured two cups of wine as you replied, “you cannot fathom? Dear husband, I think you can. Take a guess as to why I may behave as such.”

You handed Aegon one of the cups, taking a sip from your own and intentionally tilting it too far upward, the red liquid spilling down your neck and onto your chest.

“Fuck, what a shame,” you spoke, placing the cup down and moving your hair behind your back.

Aegon watched you swipe a thumb over your bottom lip and suck the wine off of it.

“Stop it,” he warned.

“Stop what? You cannot expect me to just stand here covered in wine,” you quipped, “do you happen to have a cloth?”

Aegon retrieved an used cloth from the table next to you, holding it out to you, as if to say ‘here’s the cloth you absolutely knew was there and only made me grab to mess with me.’

“I can’t see my own neck,” you said, “help me?”

Aegon sighed in frustration, moving the cloth to clean your chin, then your neck, moving it lower and lower. He watched the muscles in your neck flex as you swallowed, and he didn’t even think about holding his actions back before his lips were on your neck, cleaning off the wine with his tongue.

Your mouth opened and a small sigh left your lips, the feeling of his mouth on you after so fucking long making you needier than usual.

Aegon moved down to your breasts, licking and kissing the top flesh of one of your breasts before jolting back and wiping his mouth with the back of his sleeve. “No.”

“Aegon-“

“Please, I don’t think I’m strong enough for this.”

Aegon dropped the cloth back onto the table and marched out of the room, leaving you worked up and your breasts coated in wine. You let out a disappointed huff as you called your handmaidens in to run you a bath, hoping it would help you relax.

The next morning, Aegon had council business to attend to all day, but he had made an unfortunate mistake when you first wed: he told you that you were always welcome in council meetings, and that he would cut out the tongue of anyone who tried to speak against your presence there.

You swung open the doors to the council room, all heads turning toward you as you walked over to your husband.

“What is it?” Aegon asked, sitting taller and taller the closer you got to him.

“You said I was always welcome in these meetings, Your Grace.”

You seldom ever called Aegon by his title, but you knew that doing so drove him crazy. You noticed him shift slightly in his chair.

“The current matter of discussion is rather important,” he said.

“I would hope so, you’ve been in here all day,” you said, gripping the back of Aegon’s chair and pulling it with all your might, a seated Aegon inching a tiny bit away from the table. You were giving it your all, but could only move the chair a small amount back.

“What are you doing?” he asked, as the rest of the council just watched the scene play out. They knew better than to question you in these meetings.

You then sat yourself directly on Aegon, adjusting yourself so that you were comfortable in his lap, but he could still see the table. You were acting immature, but that was the point.

“This is entirely inappropriate,” he whispered into your ear, evidently tense. He was genuinely annoyed at you for sitting on his lap in the middle of a council meeting, but you didn’t care.

“I thought that was something you liked about me?” you whispered back into his ear.

You made brief eye contact. Aegon didn’t want to embarrass you in front of the Lords at the table, so he maintained a whisper. “Get up.”

You smiled, making the council think you were not in an argument, but rather exchanging a few private sentences before returning to duty. You leaned your head back so you were in his ear again. “No.”

“Your Grace,” Lord Commander of the King’s Guard and Hand of the King, Criston Cole, interrupted, “forgive me, but this is rather urgent.”

“Right then,” Aegon said, turning his attention back to the meeting as you remained on his lap.

The men all began to speak of war strategy and politically advantageous pairings, Aegon’s arm instinctively finding its way around your waist to keep you in place.

Every few minutes, you shifted your positioning, intentionally grinding down on his cock. He gripped your waist to try to stop you every time, but it never worked.

When the meeting was finished, you hopped up and left the room before Aegon could catch you.

Later in the day, he caught you walking alone to the library, and he pulled you into an adjacent hallway.

“Don’t ever do that again,” he warned, “that little stunt you pulled during my council meeting? Never again.”

“I do not know to what you refer,” you said, slowly pulling up one side of your dress, revealing more and more of your thigh until your entire leg was exposed, giving you room to dip your fingers underneath your dress.

“What are you-“

“It seems as though I’ve forgotten to put on anything under this dress,” you said, looking up at Aegon through hooded eyes.

“Don’t you dare,” he said, watching your hand disappear fully underneath your dress.

“Would not have to, if only I found myself a husband to do it for me.”

“Don’t,” Aegon demanded, grabbing your wrist and stilling your hand.

“Please,” you pleaded, desperation in your eyes as Aegon looked at you, nearly breaking.

Instead, he dropped your wrist, walking away from you again and leaving you alone.

────── ☾ ──────

When Aegon entered your chambers that night, you were already bathing. You were resting your head against the cool metal of the bathtub, your knees visible over the water, your body partially covered by the weak bubbles on the water’s surface. You opened your eyes when you heard the door open, and Aegon approached you, pulling one of your handmaiden’s stools next to the tub and taking a seat.

“What is it, Aegon?” you asked, re-relaxing and closing your eyes.

“What are you doing?” he asked, and you didn’t see it, but his eyes ran up and down the length of your body as he spoke.

“Bathing?” you answered, almost more of a question than an answer. What you were doing was blatantly obvious, so the question confused you slightly.

“If this is another one of your dirty tricks, it won’t work.”

You let out a deep breath. “It’s not, I really just wanted to relax.”

You opened your eyes, and Aegon cocked an eyebrow at you. “I’m serious, Aegon. I’ve tried enough, and it has not worked. I give up. That’s what you wanted, right?”

You meant it. You were tired of trying to work him up, instigate something, or be lustful, if it was never going to work. You were tired of throwing yourself at someone who clearly did not want you anymore.

Aegon didn’t respond, he just continued to watch you as you closed your eyes again, relaxing into the water. He could see most of your body beneath the surface of the clear liquid, the bubbles almost entirely dissipated.

You heard a small whisper of your name, but you kept your eyes closed, allowing yourself to continue winding down for the night.

Aegon reached out to run his hand over your knee, and the feeling made you jolt slightly, your eyes opening at the sudden contact. You gave Aegon a confused, somewhat concerned look.

“You would truly risk experiencing the tragedy of losing our son again?” he asked, his voice the smallest you’d ever heard it, “just to have me?”

You placed your hand on top of his. “What happened was out of our control. If the gods did not intend for him to be your heir, so be it. It cannot be a fault of our own. We did not bring it upon him, Aegon. We have no knowledge of what could happen given another heir, and this tragedy is not reason enough for me to give up on having children. I think it unfair of you to make such a drastic decision on my behalf. If you do not wish to be intimate with me because you yourself do not desire it, then so be it, but you do not get to make these decisions for me. I did not choose to be without your touch, Aegon, and it is unfair for you to choose it for me.”

It was the most you’d said at one time since your son died.

“I miss you,” you added.

A tear fell down Aegon’s cheek. “I never want to see you in pain again.”

“There is no guarantee you would. There is not even a guarantee I will fall pregnant again.”

Aegon knew you were right. He was making decisions for you, and he knew he had no right to, he was just so scared. He hated seeing what losing your first son did to you, and he thought he was doing right by you by not risking a pregnancy and then loss of another. He did not realize the damage he was doing.

He was lost in his thoughts, and you took his silence to mean that he was sticking to his word. “Please just let me rest, Aegon, I do not wish to rehash the same argument again.”

You fell back into your relaxed position, removing your hand from Aegon’s and resting both of your hands on either side of the metal tub.

Aegon only spoke a small whisper of your name again before moving his hand down your leg, sinking beneath the water. You maintained your position. He made it clear to you he did not want intimacy anymore, so why would he actually be doing something intimate?

You were caught by surprise when his hand reached between your legs and he ran a finger between your folds. You inhaled a sharp breath, your eyes remaining shut as the feeling was too good. Even if this stopped right now, you needed to make the most of the feeling while you had it.

Only, it didn’t stop. Aegon continued to feel you, circling his finger around your clit, causing your head to fall back even further as a soft whine left your lips. Aegon hadn’t heard the sweet sound of your whines and moans in ages, and one tiny noise from you made him completely forget why he ever vowed to keep himself away from you.

The water was sloshing slightly as Aegon moved his hand, inserting a finger into your hole as his thumb took residence on your clit, keeping the stimulation there as he began to push a finger in and out of you.

He watched you writhe in the water, your hips beginning to grind up into his hand. “A-Aegon,” you tried to catch his attention, but he was so consumed in you that he took it for a moan.

He leaned over you, his face mere inches from yours. “Say my name again.”

“A-Aegon, I was t-“

Aegon cut you off by kissing you, catching you off guard and making you squeal with surprise into the kiss. He began to move his hand faster and faster, the water nearly spilling out of the tub from the movement of his arm.

You moved to grab his wrist, and he pulled away from your mouth briefly to inspect your face and make sure you were alright.

“As much as I want you,” you breathed out, “I don’t want to do anything unless you do as well.”

Aegon didn’t verbally respond, as he often didn’t, but instead kissed you, hard. You held the back of his head, deepening the kiss as he added another finger into you, a moan escaping your throat into the kiss, only egging Aegon on more.

“Fuck,” you whimpered when Aegon pulled away.

He leaned down to kiss your neck, not caring at all about the water hitting the side of his face and drenching his hair.

You moaned and whined as his fingers fucked you at a violent pace, curling when they hit the sweet spot within you that had your breathing nearly stopping for moments at a time.

“Aegon, I’m-“

Aegon lifted his head so that he was looking directly at you. Your eyes squeezed shut as your climax hit you hard, Aegon removing his hand from you to grip either side of your face and kiss you as your orgasm washed over you, your juices mixing with the bath water.

Aegon softened the kiss as he felt your breathing calm down, only pulling away when your muscles released their tension beneath him.

“Thank you,” you sighed.

“Get out of this thing,” Aegon said, standing up and holding out both of his hands to you.

You placed your hands in his, allowing him to help pull you to a standing position. You shivered as the cool air hit your bare, wet skin. You stepped out of the bathtub, anchoring your balance on Aegon. When you stepped onto the ground, Aegon pulled your waist against him so quickly that you nearly fell over.

“If you’re all in, I’m all in,” he spoke.

You gave him a genuine smile. “I’m all in. Always have been.”

Aegon leaned down to kiss you again, backing your bodies up slightly so that you were standing directly next to the stool.

Aegon then became almost carnal, having been without you for so long that he was too impatient now to wait any longer.

Aegon pulled you away from him and spun your body around, pushing you down until you were bent over the stool he was sitting on mere moments ago.

He undid his breeches and pushed his clothing down, leaving his lower half exposed.

He held a hand out in front of your face. “Spit.”

You did as you were told, giving him the lubricant that he spread on the head of his cock as he lined himself up with your entrance. He began to push into you slowly for a moment, before slamming his entire length into you.

You cried out at the feeling. One of his hands gripped your waist while the other fisted into your hair, pulling your neck back as he fucked you from behind. He was snapping his hips from the first thrust on, the pressure causing your body, and subsequently the stool, to shift forward with each hit.

“F-fuck,“ you moaned, “I missed y-you, Y-our Grace.”

The title only made him more feral, his grip on your hips destined to bruise you as he slammed into you viciously. He growled and groaned behind you, subconsciously trying to make up for months of deprivation.

You came again, the feeling of your walls squeezing his cock like a vice pushing him over the edge, despite the sex not lasting long at all. His body was in desperate need of you.

He bottomed out inside of you as he came, spilling his seed within you as he calmed down for a moment before pulling out of you.

He released his grip on your hair, allowing you to push yourself up. You nearly lost your balance, but Aegon caught your waist with his arm.

“I missed you too,” Aegon spoke, “what a fucking idiot I am.”

“Yeah, but that’s not new,” you teased, giving him a sweet kiss to show your forgiveness.

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megs-1800 · 4 months ago

Text

No Strings Attached

Summary: Friends with benefits is always difficult especially when one of you catch feelings. Will Mason have the same feelings or will you lose him forever?

Pairings: Mason Mount x Reader

Word Count: 11.2K

Warnings: Angst, Fluff and Smut

“T-that was i-incredible” Mason pants as he rolls off me and flops himself on the bed next to me trying to catch his breathe. “Our sex always is incredible” I say rolling onto my stomach crashing my arm onto his chest whilst he tickles up and down it. I look into Mason’s eyes which I can see the spotlight from the ceiling are making them sparkle. Fuck he is so gorgeous. Mason sits up and looks at the time “I probably should make a move, I got training early tomorrow morning”. I give him puppy eyes hoping he would stay but I knew what I signed up for. Mason and I met a year ago, my best friend Paige is dating Ben Chilwell, she introduced me to Mason at a party of theirs. At the time I was happily engaged but the bastard ended up cheating on me, well turns out he was cheating all along. Me and Mason got drunk and ended up sleeping together, but from there we kind of just stayed a type of friends with benefits, he was there for me when I needed and vice versa. ‘No strings attached’ we said. “When am I next seeing you?” I ask and Mason gives me a smirk as he looks me up and down. “I will call you yeah”. I wink at him knowing he always calls.

I didn’t hear from Mason for the next couple of days but that’s not out of the ordinary, we go days not talking then we can go days with non-stop talking. I could say he is on the border of being one of my best friends, if I being honest he knows me better then I know myself sometimes, but I feel like we could never be proper friends due to our activities together. I throw myself on the sofa after a awfully long week, I turn on the TV and see that United are playing, it’s a Saturday early game so not much else to watch and thought it would be nice to show Mason some support. That’s why Mason hasn’t been talkative he has been putting his all into preparing for the game I thought. However 38 minutes into the game I watch how the opposition player tackles Mason and takes him completely down, I watch how he is screaming and rolling around in pain. I can see the pain in his eyes, I know he is more annoyed at being taken off rather than the pain of the tackle, he has worked so hard to get back and already being subbed must kill him. I quickly text him knowing that when he is free he will respond:

Y/N: How you feeling? x

I couple of hours passed and I hear my phone buzz and looking down and seeing Mason has replied:

M: Like shit how do you think I am feeling

Y/N: sorry silly question x

I feel bad for him but I didn’t know what else to say, I am taken back by his bluntness but I know he is hurting right now, I know deep down he doesn’t mean it. Another hour passed and my phone buzzes again:

M: Sorry y/n/n its just so frustrating you know I worked so hard for what, to play 38 minutes its just shit. The press has already slaughtered me, I just feel like shit but I don’t mean to take it out on you xx

Y/N: Don’t listen to the stupid press they just want a story. You are amazing Mase, injuries happen that’s the joys of being a footballer but don’t let them get you down. You know I am always your number one fan. I will whip you back into fitness in no time ;) xx

M: I can always count on you to make me laugh. Chilly said you are out with Paige tonight but I don’t suppose you can come here beforehand please? You can get ready here, I just hate being alone right now xxx

Y/N: I am already on my way superstar xxx

I quickly pack all of things that I would need for the night and then make my way to Masons. Everytime I go there it leaves me speechless, it definitely puts my one bedroom flat to shame. Mason opens the door, I can see he is wearing a pair of shorts and has he left ankle wrapped and is limping to the sofa. “Can I do anything?” I ask assessing his wounds. “you can do a lot of things” he raises his eyebrows and smirks seductively, he quickly continues “I am joking, you can get me a jumper please I just cannot bring myself to tackle the stairs yet”. I nod and quickly run upstairs and grab my favourite hoodie of his. I run back down the stairs and give it to him, he looks at me and smiles “how did I know you were going to get me this one” he laughs “am I that predictable?”. I make me and Mason a cup of tea and come join him on the sofa. He puts his arm up so I can turn my body into his chest, he has his ankle rest up in front of him. He continues to stoke my hair and we sit there in silence for what feels like forever. I go to look at the time, “jheez I gotta start getting ready” I start to move which Mason holds me tighter. “5 more minutes you have no idea how easy you take away the pain”. I smile into his chest, I love that I have that impact on him.

I look at myself in the mirror as I make one more curl in my hair, I am wearing a short black dress with laced sleeves and I matched it with a pair of black heels. I carefully make my way downstairs, I watch as Mason’s eyes look up from his phone and his eyes follow up and down, as I do a little playful swirl “you look insane” Mason states and I can feel myself blush. As I walk over to get my bag I heard my phone ding, I walk over to check it and my face drops “whats up?” Mason looks at me concerned. I take my heels off and flop myself on the sofa next to Mason “well that’s Paige cancelling last minute- again!” I groan. Mason looks at me sympathetically “has she cancelled on you a lot?” I nod to his question “yeah since she got with Chilly she has all her WAG friends now so I am kind of second best. I still love her but I guess she has more important places to be” I say defeated feeling sorry for myself.

Mason smiles “well we can party here?” I look at him and laugh “what with you that has one leg and is on strong painkillers so cannot drink? Great party!” I joke back. Mason clutches his chest where his heart is like I hurt his feelings “ouch!” I jab him in arm “thank you for making me feel better. Well I guess one good thing is I could go and put a tracksuit on and stuff my face now” I start to make my way upstairs when I hear him shout “You can wear that new tracksuit of mine that you like, I will order your favourite”.

I am laughing away with Mason, I am wearing his new Gucci oversized tracksuit, its massive on him so it drowns me but I am so comfortable. “I have never known someone who looks as beautiful all dressed down as they do all dressed up. You are going to make someone a real lucky guy one day”. I can feel myself blush at Mason’s words, he always knew how to pull on the heart strings. “Why you being so cute Mount? You wanna get into my knickers or something?” I heard him laugh and then lean in close to me “Maybeee?” I snigger at his comment “well you are in no state to ‘rock my world’ tonight Mase” he learns back and raises his eyebrows at me “Maybe but I bet even with my injured ankle I am still the best sex you ever had”. I laugh, I love how he has such a big ego.

Another hour passes, “its getting late I best get going” Mason gives me pleading eyes “please stay y/n. I need help to get up the stairs please” I nod “okay I will help you up the stairs and into bed then I am leaving”. Mason gives me a slow nod in response but I can tell there is something deeper in his eyes. I help him hobble up the stairs as I allow him to put the pressure onto me, I am struggling under his weight but I am determined to get him there. We eventually make it to his bedroom and I help him walk over to the bed. “I still cannot get over this room, this room is the size of my whole flat”. Mason shrugs his shoulders “perks of being a footballer I suppose”. He starts to get underdressed and I quickly shield my eyes “right I need to be going. Thanks for tonight Mase”. Mason pats the spot next to him in bed “why do you hide away its not like you haven’t seen it all before, but come join me” I hesitate for a minute but I know he will win. “There is a pair of my boxers and tshirts in the drawer you can wear for now” I thanked him and put them all.

His glaze doesn’t leave mine as he watches me get into his clothes “I have never known someone to look so fit in a pair of mens boxers you know” I am taking that compliment. I throw the covers back and join him in bed “I never get over how big and comfy this bed is” I stretch out as I show gratitude to the bed. Mason leans in and tickles up and down my sides which gives me goosebumps, he then extends his hands strokes the sides of my face “you are so beautiful never let anyone tell you different” I lean in closer to Mason so our lips are brushing against eachother “you are full of compliments tonight Mount”.

With that our lips come crashing together, our tongues fighting for dominance which I eventually allow Mason control, I always end up giving into him. I can feel Mason grinding his hips into mine and the blunge between us becoming apparent, Mason moves him lips to my neck and I cannot stop the moans that come out. I reach down to take him in my hands and I feel Mason stop my hands, I look at him confused. “I am not going to last long I need to be inside you” I nod knowing exactly what he means, I am in no mood for foreplay I need to feel that dick stretch me out. He removes his pants and climbs on top of me and puts legs so they wrap around his waist he slides the boxers I am wearing to the side and slowly lines himself up with me. “F-fuck” he moans into my neck “I love feeling that pussy stretch out for me” Mason starts a slow pace then it hits me “Mase your ankle lets swap” I offer. Mason shakes his head and continues his pace, I can hear him getting harder and faster and I know that he is close and he is edging me closer too. I can then feel his pace slow down and then I see him wince “swap” I demand and Mason gives him and flops down next to me “sorry I want to ruin you right now, bloody fucking ankle”. I kiss him to shut him up as I climb on top of him, I usually hate being on top as I am insecure about my body but Mason makes me feel so comfortable, I have no objections. I line him up with my entrance and slowly lower myself down, we grown in unity as I start to bounce up and down on his dick. He removes the tshirt I am wearing and starts playing with my tits, I can feel his fingers grazing over my nipple as he is inching me closer to my orgasm. “uh right there M-Mase r-right t-there” I moan as I come undone all over his dick, with that I feel Mason’s dick twitch inside me as he moans my name into my neck.

I flop off him as we both catch our breathe “see injured and I am still the best sex you ever had” which he winks at me. “Who said that you was the best sex I have ever had?” I tease as we both know he was the best guy I have slept with, “I think from the way you just screamed my name as you cum all over my dick had something to do with it”. I quickly get up and get cleaned up and bring Mason in some tissue as I know he is going to struggle to get out of bed. I go to get dressed as Mason stops me “what are you doing?” I look at him confused “I am getting dressed what does it look like I am doing?”

Mason shakes his head “stay with me tonight”

“Isn’t that breaking one of our rules ‘no sleepovers’ remember you were there when we set them”

“Yes and now I am saying lets break this one just for tonight. Please it will be nice not to be on my own. You know in case I need the toilet or something” I know there is more to that but I am not going to argue.

“Okay just this once” I reply as I throw back on the tshift I was wearing earlier and climb back into bed with him. Mason grins like the Cheshire cat as he pulls his arm out so I can lay on his chest. The small sound of his heart beating sends me to sleep.

A wake up as I see the sun drifting in through the blinds, I see Mason hobbling out the bathroom “Hey you are not supposed to be walking without support” I scold him.

“Well if I waited for sleeping beauty to wake up I would of exploded I have a bladder of a child” he giggles as he hobbles back to the bed and throws himself next to me. “Whats your plans for today?” he asks

“Not much I am helping one of the girls I work with move this afternoon, so probably have to leave soon” Mason pouts at that statement, “what about you Mount?”

Mason looks down like he doesn’t want to tell me the next part “Rebecca is coming down to spend time with me today”

I look at him confused as I bring his chin up to me so our eyes meet “whos Rebecca?”

Mason looks back down again as he didn’t wants to meet my gaze “she is a girl I have been seeing?” I jump out of bed at this comment.

“What the fuck are you talking about Mason? We just had sex and now you wanna tell me you are seeing someone. What the fuck Mason!!!” I am now screaming and throwing my hands around. I am starting to get dressed as I am shouting.

“We said no strings attached Y/N”

“I know that Mason! I don’t mean it like that, I mean that you have cheated on that poor girl with me. You have made me the other women that’s disgusting Mason! You know I have been cheated on why would you do that to me!” Mason gestures for me to sit at the end of the bed so I do, hoping he will let me calm down.

“We are not exclusive, we have only been on a couple of dates. We haven’t even slept together yet. I know its wrong Y/N you just do these things to me, you make me feel so much better and I know I do the same for you. I am sorry we can stop now if it will make you feel better.” I give him a look so he knows I am not impressed but I know nothing is going to change what happened so no point dwelling on it, so I nod in agreement.

“No more sex but still friends yeah” I lean to him and put out my pinkie finger. He wraps his pinkie around and places a kiss to it. “the best of friends” he replies.

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A year has passed since that morning and Mason and I have kept our word and haven’t slept together. We are still close and talk near enough everyday but we are just keeping it to friendly flirting and not taking it any further than that. I miss that closeness though, I feel like I haven’t been able to feel that closeness with anyone else. Even with my partner James its different, we have been dating for nearly a year, I met him shortly after Mason and I’s ‘no more sex’ pact, Mason is still dating that Rebecca, it seems to be going well. I am happy with James, he is successful and passionate and loving and everything I should want in a man, but I don’t know I feel like something is missing. Maybe that’s just me being silly, always looking for a ‘but’ in a relationship. Maybe this will be my happy ever after, after all.

“Pleaseeeeee come out tonight y/n/n! It won’t be the same without you” Paige begs on the phone.

“I don’t know Paige. It’s a very A list party I am not sure I would fit in babes”

“Oh come on Y/n you said that James is working so what else are you going to be doing on New Years Eve. I hate the thought of you sitting at home on your own pleaseeee. You know us and Mason is going to be there.” The thought of Mason there does heal the anxiety of going a little bit.

“Okay Paige I agree I will think about it okay”

“That’s all I am asking babes. Love ya”.

I am still not sure if I want to go or not, I am constantly fighting with my head. Paige is hosting a New Years party at Ben Chilwell’s but my anxiety is going through the roof of the thought of going to the party with all these famous people and I am just little old me. I just got home from work when I get a text message:

M: Please tell me you are going to Chilly’s NYE Party! Paige said you haven’t got back to her yet. Please I need to see drunk y/n, I haven’t seen her in a long time. She is a laugh, give the people want they want!!! Drunk y/n drunk y/n! xx

I giggle at his message and quickly hit reply.

Y/N: I don’t know, my anxiety isn’t great Mase there is going to be a lot of people there and I will literally know Chilly, Paige and you. But at the same time work has been mad recently so would be nice to let my hair down. Aww I don’t know Mase xxx

M: Pleaseeeee do it for me xx

Y/N: Okay you have persuaded me. You are my weakness Mount. I will see you there xx

It takes me days to decide what to wear for New Years Eye, I don’t want to be too dressed up as its only a house party but I don’t want to show up not making an effort. Its got to NYE, I finished work early so I got time to get ready but I still have no idea what to wear. I have finished my hair and makeup but just no outfit.

M: What time are you getting there for? I am staying the night so I can come and get you on the way if you want? X

Y/N: Thanks that would be great. I will be ready for whatever time you want me ready for xx

M: Ready for 7? X

Y/N: Perfect! Well it would be if I knew what to wear x

M: You look amazing in anything! Wear that white thing with the trousers and the fluffy bits I like that one x

Y/N: Thank you but I have put some weight on since I last worn that so I don’t know x

M: Well try it on and see I bet you will still look amazing ;) x

I quickly find the outfit he is talking about and snap a photo of me in it. I really don’t know about it but I send it to Mason and see what he says.

M: See I knew I was right. I am leaving mine now so see you soon xx

Mason messages me when he is outside, and I make a way to his car. He is wearing a pair of baggy jeans and a nice top. “See I knew I was right you look lovely” I can feel myself blush “thank you Mase you look really nice too. I just don’t know if it’s a little tight around the stomach” I say trying to grab the material away from the stomach feeling insecure. I watch Mason’s eyes flicker up and down over me “you look amazing! Now stop it we going to have a great night!” I nod knowing he was right, tonight is going to be the best.

The rest of the night is amazing, Mason barely leaves my side as we speak to others at the party. I know he can sense my anxiety I even feel his hand rub my waist when he can sense I am uncomfortable, he always knows how to make me feel safe. I am on drink ‘I cannot even remember’ now and I can feel myself start to get a little tipsy. Mason looks over me with his hand wrapped around my side as he looks down at me “so where’s James tonight?” for a second I want to say ‘who is he talking about?’ due to the alcohol consumed. “He is working tonight. What about you? I am sure Rebecca would of jumped at the chance to be at a NYE party with you? I like Rebecca she is sweet”.

I can feel how tipsy I am with how unstable I have become on my feet “she is a nice girl. She is with her family tonight though. She thinks a lot of you though y/n, she really likes you too”.

I pull away from Mason’s grip “yeah she wouldn’t like me though Mason if she knew we slept together when you first got together”. I watch Mason’s face drop as I know he feels as guilty about it as I do. “Come on lets not dwell on that, lets just enjoy the night” which with that he grabs his arm around my waist.

The rest of night I can feel my anxiety start to fade with the amount of alcohol consumed. I loose Mason for a little while but with the liquid courage I have brought myself to chat to other people. I am dancing with a couple of girls that I have got chatting too when I can feel someone behind me and wrapped their arms around me, at first I thought it was Mason so I settle into it a little but then I felt their hands roll down the outside of my thighs and pushes their body into mine. I hear them whisper into my ear “I love the little show you put on for me. Shake it for me baby”. I quickly tense up and I turn around realising I have no idea who this guy is. “Who are you? What are you talking about?” I suddenly feel uneasy and try and back away from the guy. “Come on don’t be a tease baby. I know you were shaking it for me”. I watch how his eye darken and he grabs my waist. I can feel his fingers digging into me whilst his other hand wraps around my wrist. I suddenly begin to panic. “please let me go” I beg, but he doesn’t reply he just tightens his grip.

Suddenly I feel another’s presence “If I were you were mate I would let her go”. I feel the grip loosen slightly. I know that voice, Mason! I see the guys face turn from lust to anger “and who are you mate? She wants it! She has been dancing in front of me all night telling me she wants it. Look at her of course she wants it!” I can feel my heart drop do I really look like a slut? I was just trying to have a good time. I watch the rage in Mason’s eye’s “I will say it again I suggest you let her go before we got a problem.” The guy lets me go and squares up to Mason “yeah is it now. I suggest we take this outside”. I know Mason isn’t a fighter and I really don’t want him to get injured over me. I take Mason’s hand “come on just leave it Mase its not worth it.” I plead for Mason to drop it, not wanting to make more of a scene about it. ”Stay out of this you little slut! If the famous Mason Mount thinks he can try it with me, then lets go!” Mason doesn’t reply all I see is a swing and Mason’s hand colliding with the guys cheek which knocks the guy onto the floor. Chilly and a couple more people seeing the commotion quickly dragged the guy out whilst Mason looks at me and then quickly storms into the kitchen. Feeling embarrassed with all eyes on me I quickly run to the bathroom.

I can feel my heart beating in my chest, I cannot believe Mason just hit that guy. I can feel my eyes starting to water. Mason is always there to save me, but he didn’t need to do that. I compose myself after a couple of minutes and make my way back to the party. I bump into Paige “are you okay babes? I don’t know who that guy thinks he is? I don’t even know who he is I think he is a plus one”. I wrap my arms around Paige and settle into the hug “I am okay Paige, honestly. Well thanks to Mason I am. I am probably going to make a move though that guy has ruined my vibe”. Paige pulls away from the hug “no please y/n/n don’t leave!” I hesitate “I need to go find Mason and check he is okay”. Paige nods “I think he is in the kitchen”. I thank her and made my way to the kitchen.

I turn the corner and I can see Mason having a conversation with a couple of the boys “come on man! There was no need to punch him” I hear one of them say, I hear Mason grunt “he was groping her! Then you should of seen the way he spoke about her it was fucking disgusting I didn’t mean to hit him I just flipped”. I hear one of the cough and they all look up to me which the other men remove themselves from the kitchen.

“How you doing?” he asks me, I melt at his compassionate.

“You are asking me how I am doing? You are the one who punched someone. Hows your hand?” He lifted his hand up so I could inspect his knuckle. He winces as I touch the wound. I grab the bag of ice that is lied on the side and put it back onto the knuckle, which Mason hisses and swears. “I’m sorry”.

Mason looks at me and grabs the side of my face “what are you sorry for? He was the asshole and it was my choice to punch him. None of this is your fault”. Mason uses his un-injured hand to place a stand of hair behind my ear. “Don’t listen to a word he said. You look incredible and you deserve to dance and have a good time without being harassed.” He shoots me a reassuring smile. Which I return.

“Thanks Mase for saving the day! I am probably going to make a move now tho. I just want to forget tonight ever happened”. I see the sadness in Mason’s eye.

“What?! You cannot leave now. Its New Years in an hour come on just see the New Year in then I will let you go. Please I punched a guy for you, the least you can do is stay for me”. He jokes the last part but still it has persuaded me.

“Okay Okay you really are my weakness Mount. I will stay for you, but just until midnight” Mason gives me a toothy smile in return. “Just until midnight” he repeats back.

The rest of the evening is a laugh, I continue drinking and I am now totally smashed, which looking at Mason he is the same. We are dancing away together, chatting away with everyone. It gets to the New Years countdown and we are all cramped into the living room counting down together. As the numbers are getting smaller, I am not sure what to do. 12….11..Should I kiss Mason? 10…9.. Mason looks down at me, I am wondering if he is thinking the same? 8….7 Mason wraps an arm around my side and holds me closer. 6…5.. He closes the gap between us I look between his lips and his eyes. 4…3…2…1… before I know it our lips are connected. I wrap my arms around his neck to pull him closer as we continue to kiss. He pulls away and I see him bite his lips “happy new year beautiful” I lean in again which Mason returns the kiss as we pull away I talk “happy new year Mase”. I can feel butterflies in my stomach, right now in this moment, everything feels right.

Another hour passes and I can start to feel the alcohol wearing off, I say my goodbyes to Paige and Ben and I continue to walk round trying to find Mason. I haven’t seen him for the last 20 minutes which was weird as we have been attached at the hip during this party. I really don’t want to leave without staying goodbye. I look everywhere I can think of but he is nowhere to be found where can he be? I thought. My uber messages to say they are outside and I know I need to go, I check one more place before going Ben’s spare room. I knock lightly on the door and slowly open the door. I see Mason sat on the bed smiling at me “there you are!” I grin “I have been looking for you”.

Mason gets up and comes to meet me at the door, “I came to say goodbye, my uber is outside”. I explain. Mason doesn’t say a word and continue to look at me. We continue to stand there in silence, “okay well thank you for tonight. Its been the best night, and you know thank you for saving me and all that. So I guess I will see you soon”. Mason still doesn’t say anything and I can feel the air between us is weird, its never like this between us I wondered what’s happened. Mason then closes the gap between us, he brings my chin up so I am looking into his eyes. There is a sparkle in his eyes, Passion! He slowly lowers himself down and I can feel our lips brushing against eachother, it’s a slow loving kiss. It’s a kiss we have never had before. Mason hands lower and I can feel them brushing against my bum, he gives it a little squeeze before he continues the kiss. This time the kiss is needy as I can feel his tongue dominating my mouth. We both pull away fighting for breathe “I really gotta go my ubers waiting” Mason hums into my mouth as he continues the kiss “then go then” he kisses me, another deep kiss “or I can refund you the money you paid for the uber and you can stay here”. Mason and I continuing to kiss and right now in this moment all I can think about is the growing bulge between us. I can feel myself fighting with my head.

Mason rips his shirt over his head and exposes his toned chest, my lips water at the sight of it. We haven’t been this intimate in a year. I run my fingers down his chest as we continue the kiss, I can feel him moaning into my mouth. Mason turns me round and I can feel him grinding into my bum, which his dick is now rock hard. He starts to kiss down my neck and I know he is leaving me a hickey, I can feel the zipper of my jumpsuit and before I know it I am left in my underwear. Mason turns me around and looks me up and down “fuck you are so beautiful” he says making me blush and my instinct is to suddenly try and cover up. He grabs my arms away “come on its me. No need to hide away”. Our lips are connected again, I help Mason remove his trousers so we are both left in our underwear. Our hands are exploring eachother’s bodies, I can feel myself moaning as he brushes over the spot I need him most. That’s when reality hits me I quickly pull away “Mase what are we doing? We cannot do this?” Mason pulls away and takes a deep breath “I don’t know y/n you just do something to me. I just can’t handle myself around you. If you don’t want to do anything then its fine you can do home.” We both stand there, staring at eachother. My heart bonding through my chest whilst my head is fighting with my heart.

I wrap my arms around his neck “Mase I don’t know! I got James and you got Rebecca. We cannot do this to them. What if they find out?” Mason is continuing to tickle up and down my back “I will repeat y/n if you don’t want to do anything we don’t have too. But why are you worrying about them finding out? Its only us here”. I know he was right, I jump onto Mason which he catches me and wraps my legs around his waist. We both look into eachothers eyes and I can feel my heart melt, “I’m guessing that means you have opted in for the best sex of your life”. I roll my eyes as Mason walks me over to the bed and throws me down.

He quickly joins me and climbs inbetween my legs, I know what I am doing is wrong. I know I shouldn’t be doing this to James, but its Mason, its like he has a spell over me. All thoughts of James disappear as Mason kisses down my body, he unclips my bra and I can feel him flip my tipple through his tongue and slowly grazes them with his teeth “m-mase” I whimper. Mason continues to kiss down my body until he is finally at my core. He lifts my hips up so he can remove my thong then leaves a trial of kisses up my thighs, I try and contain my moans as I know we have to keep quiet but its so hard when I can feel his hot breathe on my pussy. He gives me one long swipe with his tongue and I scream out his name. He giggles and looks up at me, I give him pleading eyes begging him to go back to where he was “as much I love hearing you scream my name y/n we need to be quiet so we don’t get caught okay”. I nod in agreement hoping he will quickly return to where he was. Mason focuses on my clit and I can feel myself coming undone underneath him, Mason quickly inserts 2 fingers inside me as his tongue pays attention to my clit. I grab the pillow next to me and place it over my mouth to give me something to bite down on to stop me from screaming, I am a mess from Mason’s touch “fuck I have missed your fingers and mouth. Its so fucking good!” I am able to mutter which I can feel Mason smile into it. I am so close “go on baby let yourself go I know you wanna”. I relax my body and I can feel myself hitting my high, I try my hardest to be quiet but his name escapes my lips a little too loud.

Mason hovers back over me “I am sorry I didn’t mean to be so loud” I cover my face a little now feeling slightly embarrassed. Mason shakes his head “Baby girl you screaming my name is my weakness”. I smile into Mason as connect again, I can taste my cum in his mouth. I help Mason remove his boxers and his dick suddenly springs free I reach inbetween us and start to slowly pump him. I can feel him moaning into my neck from my touch which is giving the confidence to keep going. I connect my mouth to his neck and I start sucking away giving him a matching hickey to the one he gave me earlier “U-uh y-n d-don’t stop” he moans into my neck. I quickly flip us over so I am now in control, I can see the lust in Mason’s eyes as he watches me kiss down his toned body. I reach his cock and play around with it in my palm, I give the top small kisses and licks and then put it into the back of my throat as I choke on it, I know Mason loves it when I choke on it. I can hear Mason mutter words of recognition which is urging me to go harder and deeper. Mason reaches down and starts playing with my hair as he pushes my head down onto his cock when I hear a loud moan escape his lips. He quickly brings me back up so we are eye to eye again. “I need you” he begs.

Understanding exactly how Mason feels I climb back into my seated position and line myself up with him. Mason quickly stops me, looking at him confused “whats wrong?” I ask. Mason quickly shakes his head so I know its nothing that I am doing wrong. “Last time we slept together, me ankle was all messed up. So this time I wanna be on top, I need to absolutely ruin you y/n”. With that Mason flips us over so he his hoovering over me, placing all his weight on his arms that are either side of my head. Mason lines himself up with me and we both watch eachother as it goes in, I can feel myself stretching due to his size. Mason gives me a couple of seconds to adjust and then starts his rhythm. He is starting to speed up and I know he has got the pace that he wants, he starts hitting the spot and I can feel myself seeing stars “fuck your cock is so good” I manage to get out. “Believe me its nothing compared to this pussy, fuck yeah just like that”. Masons thrust have become sloppy and I know he is close. “You got another one in there for me baby” I nod my head as I cannot manage any words, Mason is destroying me. He pins my hips down and gives another couple of hard thrusts and with that I unravel onto his cock. This helps Mason hit his high as a couple of seconds later he quickly pulls out “fuck yeah shit so f-f-ucking good!” he moans as he cums all over my stomach and flops next to me on the bed. “Have I told you before how incredible our sex is?” Mason asks, I giggle in response “Yes, you have actually a couple of times”.

It’s the best night sleep I have had in ages, I roll over and Mason has his back to me. I allow myself to trace his the outline of his muscles with my fingers as he groans in appreciation. He rolls over to meet my eyes. “I gotta get going soon” Mason says bringing me out of my daydream. I look over at the clock and see its 11am “Yeah I need to as well. I need to sneak out before anyone sees me here”. Mason laughs knowing I am right. I get myself out of bed and force my feet into the ensuite, I gasp as I see the purple bruise that is glistening on my neck “Mason what the fuck! How am I going to go home with that?” Mason is quickly behind me, and laughs. I turn around and give Mason a stern look “Its not funny Mason how am I going to explain this?” Mason shrugs and turns his neck so I can see the matching hickey on his too “see you got too carried away as well y/n. You are not the only one who has explaining to do”.

I groan and storm back into the bedroom and flop onto the bed “we are horrible people Mason, I cannot believe we did that. I cheated on James. I hate myself”. I can feel the tears pricking in my eyes, Mason crouches in front of me so he is in between my legs, he quickly uses his thumb to wipe away the tears “come on don’t cry. We both had a lot to drink and got carried away. No one needs to know okay it can be our little secret. I hated doing that behind Rebecca’s back but last night was amazing I am not going to regret that”. Mason always knows what to say to make me feel better. He brings me to stand so we are facing eachother “No more sex” we both say together. My head is all over the place, I don’t know why I let myself do this to James but Mason has something over me I cannot explain. I just wish it wasn’t this complicated.

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Another 6 months has passed and Mason and I kept our word ‘no more sex’, its been like before NYE. No awkwardness has occurred and we have pretended nothing ever happened, we have never spoke about it since, we still talk everyday he is still my best friend though. Just to me this time feels different. James and I have been amazing, he is so kind and caring and I still beat myself up for what happened but I cannot change the past, I just need to focus on the future so I have decided to put my all into the relationship. I know James loves me as much as I love him, I never knew how I got so lucky with him. We had the best day when he asked me to marry him, I was so shocked as it was totally unexpected but of course I said yes, I would be stupid not too. Paige is having some girls over tonight and invited me over too, Lauren, Declan’s girlfriend was there and few other WAGs.

I sat with Lauren chatting away about life and I was telling them all about the engagement and them all gauging at the ring. That’s when I heard the whole group conversation turn about Mason. “I cannot believe Mason and Rebecca broke up like what the fuck” Paige says.

“I would snatch him up in a moment” one of the single girls of the group who I know as Monica contributes. I look at everyone confused, they broke up? Why didn’t he tell me?

“What they broke up?! Why what happened?” I turn to Lauren thinking out of all the girls she would know the answers.

Lauren shrugs “I don’t really know much. Apparently Mason became really distant and Rebecca thought there might be another girl. Mason always denied it but I agree he really didn’t seem that invested in the relationship recently, he seemed pre-occupied.”

“So what who ended it?” another girl asks but I am sitting at the edge of my seat waiting for Lauren to reply.

“Mason ended it, apparently he couldn’t deal with her constantly accusing him of there being someone else. I agree with Rebecca though Mason has seemed different its only been recent I would say since like New Year. He has totally distant himself from the relationship, maybe its for the best they both weren’t happy”. I can feel my heart beating in my chest.

“I’m surprised Mason didn’t tell you. Usually he tells you everything” Lauren continued turning to me.

“Yeah I guess he has decided to keep girl troubles out of our conversation this time”. Which I gave a little laugh which the whole giggle in reply. The conversation changes topic and everyone is engaged in conversation, I go to make myself another drink when I feel a presence behind me, I saw Lauren standing there. “What happened New Year?” she asks, I can feel my heart pounding, I like Lauren and I don’t wanna lie but I am not sure what Mason told her or not?

“I-I um-um not sure what you are talking about Lau” I try and act dump

“You know Declan and I stayed at Chilly’s that night too. When the party finished we walked past the room where Mason was staying and we could hear muffle sounds, it sounded like he was sleeping with someone. Then first thing in the morning I was downstairs when you tried to sneak out. So what happened? I am not dumb you know. I won’t judge whatever it is. We tried to ask Mason about it but he wouldn’t give us a straight answer”.

I look at Lauren in defeat I know she has found out our secret. “Okay okay I slept with Mason on New Years Eve.” I look down trying to not meet her eye, admitting it now makes it feel real.

“WHAT!!” I quickly grab Lauren and move her to the other side of the kitchen away from where the other girls are sitting. “Shhh will you keep your voice down no one else can know please”. I plead with her.

“Why didn’t you just tell me. What happened? How did you two randomly just get into bed together. Tell me everything”. Lauren picks up the glass of wine next to her and starts taking a couple of sips, knowing that she wants the gossip.

“Okay me and Mason had been a kind of friends with benefits since we first met.”

“Nooooo shut up!!!” she squeals

“let me continue…” she makes the action of zipping up her mouth and lets me continue.

“So well remember when he hurt his ankle..” she nods “well that’s when everything changed. I went round there to comfort him and well one thing let to another and we ended up in bed. I actually stayed the night which never happened. The next morning he told me he was starting to see Rebecca so we called it quits. Shortly after I met James and everything was fine, me and Mason were just friends and no lines where blurred”.

Lauren took another sip of her drink “so what happened New Years then?”

“Well obviously we both had a lot to drink, and then it kicked off with that guy started to make advances to me and he called me a slag and all that then Mason punched him and I don’t know maybe it was the heroic action or the amount of alcohol consumed I generally don’t know. I went to say goodbye and one thing let to another and we ended up in bed together. We woke up both feeling like shit so we agreed to not discuss it. Please I already feel awful about it, please don’t say anything to James.”

I am now starting to panic but Lauren is quick to assure me “babe my loyalties are with you not James. So whatever is said in this room stays in this room okay. So whats happened since because Mason has been all over the place have you guys continued to sleep together or what?”

“No nothing like that Lauren. We have agreed nothing will happened since that night and me and Mason are still close and talking everyday but nothing like that. Well I thought we were close but he didn’t tell me he broke up with Rebecca so god knows”.

“I have no idea what goes on in that guys mind. So whats Mason like in bed anyway? I would feel like his ego couldn’t match his performance if you know what I mean”. She is now giggling away like a little school girl.

I take another sip of my drink now feeling the after effects of the alcohol. “he is amazing Lau! Like obviously I would never tell him this because I wouldn’t want to boost his ego more but he is the best sex I have ever had. The way he makes me feel damn no one comes close”. Lauren smirks at me.

“So tell me again why you and Mason are nothing more then ‘just friends’?”

“I am engaged Lauren” she nods slowly but I can tell she knows there is lot more to that answer.

“Come on we should go back before the girls wonder where the hell we are?” I nod in agreement.

“I will be right in just need another drink”. I wait for Lauren to leave the room before I let out the deep breathe that I didn’t realise I was holding in. I cannot believe he broke up with Rebecca but why didn’t he tell me? Was it because of me? I need answers.

The next couple of hours I am completely distracted, all I can think about is Mason. I have drink after drink before I am completely tipsy. I say my goodbyes to everyone as my taxi notifies me they are outside. I wrap my arms around Lauren and thank her as it has been good to get it all out, “call me if you need anything”. She says and I know she means that. Before I knew it the taxi was pulling up outside Mason’s house, I hesitate for a minute. I don’t even know why I am here. Before I even walk up the steps I see Mason emerging from house, he looks confused until he recognises it was me. I go to say something but the taxi man interrupts “love you need to pay” I quickly look for my bag and then the realisation hits me “shit I left my bag at Paiges”. The taximan does not look amused but Mason just giggles “typical y/n. No worries I got this mate”. He turns to the taximan and chucks some cash at him and helps me inside.

“Soooo I-I heard you b-broke up with Rebeccaaaa” I slur before Mason even shuts the door, I am struggling to get my words out due to the alcohol consumption. Mason stops in his tracks.

“that’s why you are here”.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I say pouting

“It wasn’t anything to really tell. Rebecca kept accusing me of being absent and had it in her head I was cheating on her. It was constant arguing I couldn’t be in that toxic relationship, I have had them with my exs I couldn’t do that again.”

“Well she wasn’t wrong about the cheating” I say plopping myself on the sofa, Mason rolls his eyes and sits next to me.

“I am sorry I didn’t tell you. I have just had so much going on it kind of escaped my mind but I am sorry. You look lovely tonight you know”.

I can feel myself blushing. I hate that he has that impact on me. “So now tell me y/n why are you here and not at home with your fiancé?”

I take a deep breathe “I don’t know”

“Come on y/n of course you do”.

“I spoke to Lauren tonight. She said she heard us on NYE then saw me leaving the next morning she asked about us. It actually felt good to tell someone the truth. I am sorry I know we agreed to keep it a secret.”

Mason is tracing lines across my cheek and smiles “its fine y/n I am not angry. Before I broke up with Rebecca I came clean to Declan so chances are Lauren already knew she was probably just giving you the chance to tell her the truth. I had to talk to someone I had to get it out”.

“I love you Mason” I blurt out.

Mason drops his hand from my cheek, and shuffles back. “What do you mean you love me? You are engaged y/n”.

“Mason I have loved you from the first night we met. The way we connected, the way you made me feel. The only way we could ever be close enough was ‘friends with benefits’ so I accepted that’s all we are going to be. But now Mason I am not sure if that’s enough, I fucking love you Mason. I love the way you make me feel, the way you know me better then I know myself. Come on Mason you cannot tell me you don’t feel the same”. I don’t know where this courage as come from I am guessing its going something to do with the amount of drinks I have done.

“Y/N I will repeat it again it doesn’t matter how I feel you are engaged.”

“Lauren said the reason why you broke up with Rebecca was because you became distant like you were focussing on someone else. Are you seriously going to tell me that wasn’t me?”

“No y/n me breaking up with Rebecca had nothing to do with you! Not everything is about you. We had sex y/n that was all it was. No feelings, no strings attached remember that’s all we were. We used eachother to make eachother feel good at our time of need that’s what we were y/n. I am sorry if you caught feelings but this is what we were, nothing more.” Mason spat out. I wanted to be sick and I can feel tears starting to prick in my eyes. I hate myself how could I let myself confess my feelings for someone who doesn’t care. I start to sniffle to hold in the tears and make a beeline for the door.

“Y/n wait!” I hear Mason shout. I quickly turn around on my heals.

“No you are right Mason. That’s all we were, it was me being stupid. How could someone like you ever catch feelings for silly little m-m-me”. I stutter the last part and the tears are now completely falling down my face, I run out the house and never look back. I can feel my heart shattering into a thousand pieces, how can I have these kind of feelings for someone who I am not even engaged too? How can I feel this way about someone who doesn’t love me back.

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Mason’s POV- 6 Months later

After a couple of rings Declan picks up the phone “Mason I got your messages mate, I am not replying for a reason, please you cannot do this”.

“Please Dec understand she needs to know how I feel. She needs to know how I feel before she marries the wrong person”.

“Mase don’t you think you have put that poor girl through enough. Just let her be”.

“I can’t Dec. I have tried to put her out of my head. I can’t please Dec. I love her”.

“Then if you loved her Mase you wouldn’t hurt her, on her wedding day on all days”.

I know deep down Declan was right, I just cannot let you go. I cannot let you make the worst decision of your life. Ever since that night I have beat myself up with how I acted, I just never thought you ever felt that way about me. Please, look at you, you are the most perfect women and I never thought you would get with a guy like me. I tried to ring and text you everyday since that day but you ended up blocking my number and I even showed up at your flat which you refused to open the door eventhough I knew you were home. I would give anything to go back in time and admit my feelings too, I should of never let you go. And now its probably too late.

Chilly was invited to the wedding as Paige was the Maid of Honour, I asked Chilly to give me the address of the wedding. He fought very hard to not give it to me, I am not sure if he knew what happened between us but he must know me asking for the address of the wedding will not end good. Eventually I got it out of him. I couldn’t sleep all night I was so worried about what I was going to say to you tomorrow, I have to give myself a chance, a chance for love.

I walk through the venue and its absolutely breathtaking, I look at all the little details and I know that is totally your input. I know you would have everything looking perfect. I pump into one of the waiters “oh sorry” I quickly apologise. He looks completely shocked.

“Oh my god! You are Mason Mount! Can I get a picture?” I agree and he quickly snaps a selfie and thanks me.

“What room is the bride in?” I ask

“Down the hall and to the right is the bride’s suite”.

I thank him and quickly hurry down the hall. I can feel my palm’s sweating I don’t want to burst into the room with a load of people in there. I wait outside hesitating if whether I should do this when Paige comes out. She scowls at me, she definitely knows what has happened. “what are you doing here Mason? If its what I think don’t even think about it. I will tackle you to the floor now”. She laughs but I know she is totally serious.

“Please Paige, 5 mins that’s all I am asking. Please.” I see Paige hesitate but looks around down the hallway.

“ 5 mins okay. She is on her own but we all coming back in 15 minutes to get photos done and I want you gone by then”. I nod grateful for her.

“Thank you Paige” I hug her and then make my way to the door.

I hesitate again but I know I am wasting precious time, I quietly knock as I hear the ‘come in’ from the other side. You quickly spin around as our eyes meet. You looks absolutely incredible, I have never seen someone so beautiful. I can feel my mouth go completely dry.

“Mason? What are you doing here? I thought me blocking you was enough of an understanding for you.”

I am stood still in my tracks, I still cannot get over how mesmerising you look. “I-I’m sorry you look unreal. Wow absolutely incredible”.

I took a step forwards in which you take a step straight back to remain the distance between us. “Thank you but I will repeat Mason what are you doing here?”

“I-I’m an idiot” is the only thing I can get out. I have never been this nervous my mouth is totally dry.

“Yeah no shit” you spit back. I kind of deserved that.

“5 mins y/n please” I grab your hands in mine and this time you don’t pull away. “I love you y/n”

You let go of my hands and shove me away I can see the tears starting to appear in your eyes as you try to look up to prevent them from falling down. “No Mason. No fucking way you don’t get to do that. You don’t get to par me off when I confess my feelings then want to wait until my fucking wedding day to confess yours fuck you Mount!” You are now starting to get heated.

“I tried y/n. You blocked me remember and refused to open the door. This was my only chance”

“D-Don’t you think you hurt me enough. Now you g-gotta come and ruin my wedding day too why Mason”.

I hate that I am making you cry, especially when you look that beautiful. I slowly close the space between us trying to not make you flinch, I slowly wipe away the stray tears that have fallen down. “I needed you to know how I feel before I lost you forever.” You start to sniffle and I can hear you trying to control your breathing, you do not incept so I continue. “Y/N I have always loved you. From that first moment I met you, I was taken back by how someone could be that beautiful on the outside was so beautiful on the inside. Our sex is amazing, I have never connected with anyone on that level before. But its not just the sex y/n, I love how you listen and understand me. You are always there when I needed you. You know me better then anyone else. I was stupid y/n and I shouldn’t of said what I did. I didn’t mean it none of it was true. The reason why I left Rebecca was because of you, I guess I started distancing myself from her because every time I looked at her I started comparing her to you and I saw everything that she wasn’t. Fuck I love you y/n and I am a stupid stupid man for not confessing my feelings to you that night. I was scared I have never felt for someone the way I feel for you and it scared the absolute fuck out of me. Please y/n you cannot tell me those feelings have just gone away”.

I can hear your breathing now as your struggling to breathe, I rub your hand trying to get you to calm down. “Please y/n even if you don’t want this, then please can we still be friends. I cannot live my life knowing that you are not apart of it. These past 6 months have broken me, you can ask anyone”.

“M-Mase I cannot do this now. Why did you wait until now to tell me all of t-t-this. I-I g-get m-married i-inn 30 m-minutes.” You are struggling with your words and all I want is to wrap you up in my arm and take away the pain. I know there is nothing I can say or do, its too late you have made your decision and you are marrying him. I can feel the tears starting to fall down my face as I watch the love of my life marry another guy.

“I-I’m sorry for everything y/n. If I could rewind time I would do this so much better I promise. If your change your mind I will be at the docks in an hour waiting.” I place a small loving kiss to your lips, I know I shouldn’t but I needed to feel the softness of your lips on mine one last time. I can feel both our tears running down our faces onto our lips as we pull away. With that I turn around and walk straight out the venue, knowing deep down that I have lost you forever.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I look at the time, and I see its 3pm. The wedding was taking place an hour ago. I look around the docks but I cannot see you. I look down and flip my hoodie over my head as I let the tears fall down. A small part of me thought you would change your mind, but here we are I am wrong again. I walk a couple of steps and I feel a tap on my shoulder.

I turn around to see you standing there, you still have your bridal hair and make up on but you have got changed into a tracksuit. Looking over the tracksuit I actually realise that’s mine that I have been looking for, for ages, but that’s a question for another time. I am stunned that you are stood in front of me. You were first to speak “you were right Mase. I couldn’t walk down the aisle knowing the love of my life is here. I couldn’t do that to me or James. Sorry I am late I had to speak to James and then my dad. Both understood actually it was a lot easier then I thought, my dad just upset about the money paid for the wedding.”

I quickly respond “I will pay your dad back every penny he spent on the wedding. It will be a clear slate I promise”. It’s the least I can do I suppose, I am the reason the wedding was ruined.

“Thank you but I am not here for your money mase. I want you. I fucking love you” you jump closing the gap between us and our lips connect. For the first time this kiss feels right, like everything is happening how its supposed to. As we pull away I gather my thoughts, you still unreal even in my tracksuit. That when the sun reflects on the necklace you were wearing, it was a small sliver heart with your birthstone in it, looking at it I remember what it is.

“You were going to get married in the necklace I got you”. I run the necklace through my fingers as I caress your neck. “What did James think about the necklace it literally has the number 7 on the back of it?”.

You giggle at me “please can we not speak about my ex-fiancé who I literally just left at the alter. But I told him the number 7 was my lucky number. Well I guess it still is”. You wink at me and pull me in for another kiss. Our tongues fighting for control, I finally give in and allow you the control. We quickly pulling away remembering where we are.

“Shall we get out of here.” You wink at me.

I grab your hand in mine as we begin our walk along the docks “yeah lets get out of her before you change your mind”. I joke. You look up at me and playfully punch my arm. You link your arm into mine. We stop walking and you look up into my eyes “here’s to forever”.

#angst #fluff and angst #football #footballer imagine #footballer imagines #footballer x reader #footballer x you #manchester united #footballer smut #smut #mason mount fanfic #mason mount smut #mason mount x reader #mason mount imagine #mason mount

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storiesforallfandoms · 1 year ago

Text

junker ~ beck oliver;victorious

word count: 2011

request?: no

description: after her car breaks down in front of the dreamy boy’s house, he helps her to fix it

pairing: beck oliver x female!reader

warnings: swearing, one mention of y/n

masterlist (one, two, three)

“No,” you said to yourself as your car began to slow. “No, no, no!”

You hit your steering wheel in frustration as the car came to a stop in the middle of the road.

This wasn’t the first time you had encountered issues with your shitty excuse for a car. It was definitely because the car was older than your parents. It was a miracle it even started in the first place, which, to be fair, it didn’t most of the time. You had no idea what your parents were thinking in buying you this hunk of junk to be your first car. They didn’t have to buy you a brand new sports car or anything, but they could’ve gotten you something from this decade at least.

You got out o the car to inspect what had happened. You opened the hood of the car and inspected inside. You couldn’t tell if anything was off because it all just looked the same to you. There was probably something, but you weren't exactly knowledgeable on cars.

You exclaimed in frustration and kicked the wheel, followed by a string of expletives as pain exploded from your toes.

“Car troubles?”

You turned to see a boy around your age stood at the end of a driveway.

“It just stopped,” you said. “I have no idea what’s wrong with it.”

You sighed, running a hand over your face as you realized how screwed you were. You were a few blocks away from home, so walking wasn’t necessarily off the table, but it would take you a while to get home. Not to mention you had no idea how you’d get the car back to your place, or off the road at all.

“Here, bring it into my driveway,” the boy said. “I’ll take a look at it.”

“How are we gonna get it into your driveway? It’s like...dead dead.”

He approached the car, taking a quick glance at the still open hood before reaching to close it. “Put it in neutral. I’ll push, you can steer.”

You weren’t sure if that sounded like a good idea - one person pushing a car on their own didn’t seem super doable - but you had no other choices. So, you got back into your car, waiting for him to get in place, then shifted the car into neutral. You started turning the wheel, shifting the car towards the driveway. It took a while, but eventually the two of you had managed to get the car into his driveway. You put it back in park as he came around to pop the hood again.

“I’m Beck, by the way,” he said as you got out of your car.

“(Y/N),” you responded. “Thanks for the help. I thought I was screwed.”

“Why are you driving a junker like this? It must be like, a century old.”

“My parents got it for me when I got my license. Something about wanting to get an older car as my first one until I learn responsibility, I guess?”

“So they gave you a rolling death trap?”

You scoffed. “Yeah, basically. I bet they’ll regret that now.”

Beck leaned in to get a better look at something. “When did they buy it?”

You shrugged. “A few weeks ago, I think.”

“Well, they’ll definitely regret however much money they wasted on this thing. It’s completely dead.”

Your eyes widened. “What?!”

Beck stood back up. “There’s not a single thing that works in this thing now. Engine is toast, battery zapped, starting motor gone. It’s a wonder this thing ever worked in the first place.”

You let out a long groan. As if your luck couldn’t get any worse. What were you supposed to do now without a car? You couldn’t go back to relying on your parents to drive you everywhere, and you certainly were not about to start taking the bus to school again.

“Do you have a phone?” Beck asked.

“It’s dead,” you said. “I was on my way home anyways, I thought I’d be fine.”

“Listen, mine is in my RV. You can use it to call your parents if you want.”

You eyed the silver RV in the yard. “You live in there? When there’s...a house?”

He chuckled. “I prefer to be on my own. The RV was the only compromise my parents would come to. If you’d rather not come in, I understand. I can bring my phone out instead if it would make you more comfortable.”

You shook your head. “No, that’s okay. It’s starting to get dark, so it’s probably best if I wait inside instead of out here while it gets cold.”

Beck nodded for you to follow him into his trailer. It was a decent size, big enough for one person living there. It was also evident that a teenage boy lived there given the mess. Beck must’ve noticed, too, because he quickly started picking up dirty clothes and laundry from the floor, mumbling something about ignoring the mess. You quietly giggled to yourself.

Beck passed you his phone. You sat down on his couch and dialed your mom’s number first. It rang for a long time before an automated message told you she was away from the phone. You hung up and tried your dad’s number, only to have the same outcome. You rolled your eyes and hung up, handing the phone back to Beck.

“They must be busy,” you said. “God, this sucks. What am I going to do?”

Beck sat down next to you. He was close enough to you that you could feel his shoulder brushing against yours. You were suddenly very aware of your situation: alone in a trailer with a boy who was incredibly cute. A broke down car, no way to get home until your parents answered your calls. You shuffled awkwardly in your seat, looking down at your lap when looking into Beck’s eyes became too much.

“I could drive you home,” he offered. “Then, when your parents are home, you can tell them what happened and where the car is. Then they can decide if they want to come get it, or they can leave it here and I can salvage whatever parts I can from it.”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “You think there’s anything salvageable from that car?”

“Well...the tires.”

You both laughed. You knew you should be getting home, but part of you also didn’t want to leave yet. Sure, you would still see Beck again whenever your parents decided to come get the car - if they decided to come get the car - but after that you may never see him again. He wasn’t familiar to you, and you were sure you’d remember someone like Beck at your school, so that meant he went to a different school. The likeliness of you two ever crossing paths again were incredibly slim.

But you also couldn’t just invite yourself into his place to stay for a while. You were still a stranger to him, and him to you technically. And you probably should get home so you could charge your phone, just so your parents didn’t start freaking out if they tried to call you and couldn’t get through.

So, you took Beck’s offer and followed him to his car. It was definitely a lot nicer than your old piece of junk. You were almost embarrassed that he had to see what you were driving before. The one silver lining to this whole situation was that your parents might actually buy you a good car after all of this.

You knew it was going to be a short ride to your house, so you had to make the most of it. You looked over at Beck and asked, “So, what school do you go to?”

“Hollywood Arts,” he responded.

“Oh! So that’s why I haven’t seen you around. You’re too busy becoming a big star.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, I guess so. Trying to, at least. I’m not a singer like most of the people who attend that school. I’m trying to become an actor after I graduate.”

“Hey, the world needs actors. That doesn’t sound like an impossible dream to achieve.”

He shrugged. You felt like the conversation was drifting away, and you desperately wanted it to keep going.

“I do appreciate what you did for me,” you said. “Most people in LA probably would’ve driven right past me and wished me luck.”

“I couldn’t let you just stay there stranded right in front of my place,” he said. “What kind of a guy would I be if I didn’t offer the pretty girl some help?”

Your face immediately burned at his compliment. You quickly looked away so he wouldn’t see how flustered you were.

“Still, I appreciate it,” you said. “And the ride home. I probably could’ve walked, come to think of it.”

“No way. I wasn’t going to let you walk when I have a perfectly good car that could’ve driven you home.”

“Don’t rub it in.”

He chuckled. You noticed the car slowing to a stop, and when you looked up you saw that you were in front of your house. You almost deflated with disappointment. Your time with Beck was finally, and unfortunately, coming to an end. There was no way you’d be able to see him again, you were sure of that. It was already pretty clear the both of you wouldn’t be running into each other at schooling events, unless you managed to make it out to a performance at Hollywood Arts that Beck just so happened to be starring in.

“This is me,” you said, trying to keep the sadness from your voice.

“So it is,” Beck said with a nod.

You looked down at your lap, trying to stall as much as possible. “Thank you for everything. I don’t know how I can repay you for all of this.”

“You don’t have to.”

“What if I wanted to? I mean, surely there’s something else I could do or give you as a way of saying thanks. Something more than that lump of junk that’s still sat in your driveway.”

He made a face. “No, that’s a terrible thank you gift actually.”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m saying I want to give you an actual thank you gift.”

He thought for a moment and you waited patiently for his answer. Finally, he looked back at you and said, “There is something you could give me.”

“What is it?”

“Your number.”

He was holding his phone out to you. You looked from his phone up to his face. You were almost sure this wasn’t real, that you were hallucinating that this was happening. But the longer it took for you to take Beck’s phone and put your number in it, the more his face was starting to show worry. As if you were about to turn him down.

“Yes!” you finally blurted. “I mean...yeah. Yeah, I can...I can do that.”

He seemed amused by your flusteredness. You quickly took his phone and typed in your name and number before handing it back to him.

“You better get your phone charged,” he said. “Otherwise, how am I supposed to try and plan a date with you?”

Oh, he smooth.

You wanted to say something back that was equally as smooth, but you were at a loss for words. Instead, you just nodded your head for a long time, like a crazy person, before finally saying goodbye for real and getting out of his car. You could feel him watching you as you walked up to your front door and let yourself in. He didn’t leave until the door closed behind you, and even then he waited for you to lock it and turn on the light over the door.

Once you were alone, you leaned back against the door and you couldn’t stop the wide smile that broke out across your face.

Okay, at least there were two silver linings to that stupid thing breaking down.

#beck oliver #beck oliver imagine #beck oliver x reader #avan jogia #avan jogia imagine #avan jogia x reader #victorious #victorious imagine #imagine #one shot #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

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kittykattysstuff · 6 months ago

Text

Warning: incest

Big brother Geto Suguru x Fem reader

Showering with the door open when you know that your big brother Suguru is home. You know he’s seen you the moment his footsteps halt as he reaches your shared bathroom. You can hear how his breath becomes ragged, followed by a deep sigh. You expect him to move, to pretend he can’t see the reflection of your naked body in the mirror fogged by the hot water running. That’s what he always does whenever you try to make a move on him. Act like he didn’t see anything, like you didn’t flash him, like you didn’t forgo your bra just so he would be able to see your tits in your new tight white crop top. Suguru always pretends that he doesn’t see the bold moves you’re pulling, and seems totally unaffected by your actions.

But you know your brother isn’t completely immune to you. You’ve heard him masturbating, moaning your name late at night when he thought everyone was asleep more times than you can remember.

You expect him to ignore you again and leave, as usual. Yet, this time, he doesn’t move. You smile internally, happy to have his undivided attention, knowing that lewd thoughts must be all over his mind now.

“Sugu? Are you there?” You ask innocently.

“Yes.” He finally answers, his voice rough.

“I forgot my towel. Can you pick one for me, please?”

“Of course.”

And he’s walking away, going to grab the towel, his footseps quick. You turn off the shower when you hear his footsteps approaching again after a few minutes.

“Here. I’ll leave it at the door.”

Suguru says quickly, but before he can go away, you grip the door handle, opening the door fully and standing right in front of him. You see him pale, gulping harshly, forcing himself to look only at your face.

“You can look, Sugu. After all, we’re family.”

You put your hands on your hips, smiling.

“I-I can’t. We can’t. You should get dressed. I’ll give you some privacy-“

“I know you want me. Don’t you think I’ve heard you jerking off saying my name? Or noticed my panties that suddenly went missing?”

You corner him, not taking no as an answer. You both wanted this, and if your big brother couldn’t take the first step, then you would do it.

“Sweetheart, please.” Geto pleaded, seeming to be in a war with himself. You looked down at his dick. It was hard. It only spurred you on.

“Please Sugu, I need you. Only you. I don’t care if it’s wrong or immoral. I don’t care about anything as long as I have you.”

Now it was your time to plead. You’ve wanted him for so long, but you never did anything and kept your feelings to yourself in fear of being rejected. However, when you found out that your brother wanted you just as much, if not even more, you couldn’t hide the way you felt any longer. You needed him. No one could ever make you feel the way he did. You felt your eyes water, and the beginning of tears falling down your cheeks due to the pain and frustration you were feeling.

Seeing you cry broke Suguru’s resolve of trying to push his feelings away. Your brother couldn’t bear to see you cry, and knowing that he was the reason for it broke his heart. He cupped your jaw with one hand as he wiped your tears away with the other. You leaned into his touch, smiling softly as you held his hand, afraid that he would pull away. Seeing the vulnerability in your eyes made Suguru want you even more. You looked ethereal, like an angel made specifically for him. And now that he knew you felt the same, he vowed to make you his.

“It’s always been you, sweetheart.”

He whispered, kissing your palm as he pressed your foreheads together, before finally capturing your lips and sealing his promise to never let you go.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #geto suguru #getou suguru #geto suguru x reader #getou suguru x reader #geto x reader #fluff #geto suguru x you #getou suguru x you

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kiame-sama · 8 months ago

Note

Would Papa Hades mind if I rant to him my frustration over how people always make him a ‘Bad Guy’ in our world?

Whenever Movies that have Greek Mythology in it, it always pissed me off when they make Hades the Villain (I feel like it’s just because Hades is the God of the Underworld that automatically makes him ‘Evil’)

Literally out of ALL the Greek Gods, Hades is actually the NICEST of the Gods (He was willing to let a mortal man take his wife out of the Underworld but he must not look at her because she’ll be sent back during the journey until they leave his realm) and was never unfaithful to his beloved Persephone

There was a myth that he had ONE lover, but that was BEFORE he met his Beloved

Would Papa Hades appreciate that I don’t see him as evil just because he rules over the Underworld? (Because since he’s one of the Great Seven so he’ll naturally be feared for his powers and authority)

Warnings: Papa Hades in his 50ft form, comforting ancient Shinigami, daily allotted sunshine/shade garden time,

For reference, this is approximately the current height difference:

~~~~~~~~

"-but I mean, why do they always have to make Hades out to be bad? I don't think my Hades is bad and I don't think you're bad either. You're probably the only one I've met in this world who didn't immediately try to make decisions for me. You haven't collared me, or taken me away from where I want to be, or tried to control me in any way. You're even letting me sit on your shoulder and talk your ear off in the garden because I wanted some time away from it all!"

The giant Shinigami was leaning his cheek on his hand, listening attentively to your every word. You both were seated upon a shadowy throne he had summoned in the stone and briar garden of Ramshackle. It was a good distance away from the building itself and no one was willing to tell the Shinigami he couldn't protect you.

Deep in the shadows, watchful eyes thought better of challenging a being of myth and power. Some were dissuaded from the prospect altogether, seeing such an ancient being so casually attending the soft Human prize. Not all who hunted sought harm, but even the insane knew better. Smaller predators will almost always give space to a bigger predator. No need to die this day.

The giant Shinigami was enjoying the history lessons from your world, curious that your own history had beings so similar to him that even shared his name. He also appreciated the fact you were so passionately defending his doppelganger in your world. Truthfully, the similarities between him and the Hades of your world was not lost on him. Perhaps the Humans of your world were originally from Twisted Wonderland and simply forgot over time after crossing to a different realm. If that were the case then he had much to consider.

Still, he appreciates how relaxed you are around him, now trusting in his willingness to act in your best interest. He had always afforded all of the Humans under his protection the ability to choose. The only difference now was he had to keep a closer eye on you than he did the Humans leaving his isle.

"I'm glad to be living up to your expectations, Little One. So long as it is your wish to stay here, I will aid you however I can. Young Idia has updated your phone to contact me directly should you ever have need. I must say, it is nice to hear of your home, you speak so little about it. I'm sure you have your reasons, so I won't pry. I'm thankful you trust me enough to share all of this with."

"Well, it's hard not to trust you. You've kind of been amazing."

It soothed the wounded depths of the old Shinigami's heart to hear such earnest words. You truly did trust him and he treasured that more than you would likely ever know. The mourning shawl had adorned him many long centuries. Those centuries were some of the most painful for him, yet that pain was lessened and balmed by your simple trust and affection. He treasured that.

#kiame-sama #yandere #x reader #yandere x reader #reader insert #tw yandere #humans are extinct twst au #papa hades #platonic yandere

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veebeeboo109 · 3 months ago

Text

Cleaning up the Timeline

{You and your boys go to the beach while you recover.}

Read on ao3. Part One.

Tags: Reader/L&DS Men, Romance, Ocean, Beach Shenanigans, Three!some, FMM, Lots of lovey doveyness in this one.

Chapter 15: The Beach Episode

You’re beginning to grow irritated. Frustrated is a better word, really. You’ve never been so utterly doted upon in your life, and so irrevocably known you were loved. Loved beyond measure or comprehension. The vow of “til death do us part” sounds like not nearly enough time.

However, despite all that love– all that dedication and care– they won’t touch you. They haven’t so much as gone to second base since your disastrous attempt at a perp chase.

Your injuries are healing nicely. The fractured ribs don’t make you nearly scream in pain when you breathe, and it doesn’t feel like breathing through a sieve when you do. Zayne is meticulous with your care, listening to your heart and your lungs every morning before he leaves for work.

Despite your improving health, they seem to have made some kind of pact of chastity, and you’re one longing glance away from stripping them with your teeth.

You tried to coax Xavier– the easiest to sway into something sordid– the night before your flight. Kissing him sweetly but then biting at him. Digging your teeth into that plush lower lip until he growled at you. The sound sent a thrill down your spine, pooling in your core and you grin in victory. He’s never missed the chance to correct you. To show you how to behave.

But he doesn’t. He kisses you harshly, and bites you back. Muttering something under his breath about misbehaving but nothing more. He lies next to you in your big bed more than a foot away, and it hurts.

So, on the flight to this exotic island getaway, you’re pouting like a child. It’s a private jet that seats eight people comfortably and you make a point to sit in the back away from the rest of them. Headphones in and gaze fixed on the window.

Rafayel comes to torment you further. Not on purpose, it seems, but tortuous nonetheless. He asks if you’re alright and you grunt in response. He must take this as you being in pain because he gets up and goes to Zayne, who slides in to sit next to you and begins another painfully clinical analysis.

It only serves to make your body ache. His cold fingers only stoking the fire hotter inside you. You need him. You need to feel them again. It’s been too long and you’re fiending.

You’re given a small reprieve from the lust devouring you when you land, and you’re absorbed in taking in the lush surroundings. The change from icy cold, to humid and hot is such a reprieve. The very air is golden and shimmers with the scent of the ocean.

You pull up to the house and your boys are piling out of the taxi van. They grab your luggage and take it inside, Xavier holding back to hold your hand to help you inside. Which, at this point, is wholly unnecessary. Modern medicine is a wonder, and beyond a little soreness and a still healing scar, you’re basically recovered.

Absent-mindedly, you admire the house that Sylus found. The floors are a floral, mosaic tile, shimmery and opalescent against your feet. The windows that overlook the ocean take up much of the wall and the place is already lavishly furnished. All white, eggshell, and cornflower. However, the plush interior only serves to grate on your waning sanity because every surface serves as the stage for a new, deplorable play of debauchery.

The couch is long enough for Sylus is lay across comfortably, and deep enough you could straddle him easily. The white marble countertops of the kitchen are the perfect height for Xavier to bend you over. There’s a large, round chair in the corner next to a bookshelf– perfect for Zayne, and better for you to have your face shoved into it.

Shaking your head, you watch them mill about, searching the new house and its nooks and crannies. There are three bedrooms and four bathrooms. And they’re deciding who gets what. Zayne mentions giving you the downstairs bedroom, preventing you from needing to use stairs while the rest of them sleep upstairs. And then Sylus agrees, picking up your suitcases and taking them down a hall.

“Wait, what?” You blurt in sudden shock.

The four turn to you, and you’re caught feeling lost. Zayne’s brow furrows and he asks, “What? Is something wrong?”

“I’ll be downstairs? All by myself?” Your voice breaks a little– betraying your heightened emotions.

“You’re still recovering. It wouldn’t be good to all pile in with you.” Zayne replies and you nearly stomp your foot in petulance.

“Uh, I beg to differ. I think a pile is exactly what I need right now.” You’re arguing and you can hear how pathetic you sound, but you’re tired of being coddled.

Rafayel laughs and picks up his two matching suitcases and starts moving towards your bedroom, with Xavier right behind him.

“Exactly, princess. I told them that was a silly idea. Didn’t I, Xavier?” Rafayel says slyly.

Xavier nods, “Yes. I was in agreement with Rafayel. We should pile. Definitely.”

“Boys…” Sylus drawls as he crosses his arms, “Doctor’s orders. She’s still recovering, and you two can’t control yourselves.”

Rafayel scoffs, “Like you’re any better. I saw Zayne’s back yesterday– taking out your frustrations on the doctor, are we?”

Sylus shows his teeth, “You want me to take it out on you instead?”

“Puh-lease. You wish you could top me, lizard.” Rafayel’s eyebrow quirks, “Now, if you’ll excuse me. I’m putting my things in my girl’s room. She requests it.”

You decide to insert yourself, “Thank you Rafayel. At least one of you isn’t neglecting me.”

“Let me get your bags, bunny.” Xavier snatches your bags from Sylus and slinks over to your side, a smirk on his face, “I couldn’t bear to leave you alone.”

You’re poking a sleeping dragon right now, but you couldn’t care less. The air around you is electric with tension, fizzing like a shaken bottle ready to pop.

The bedroom you enter overlooks the ocean and you’re momentarily stunned by the view. Rafayel and Xavier begin unpacking, and you go to the wall of windows to marvel at how close the shore is. How blue the water is. And how clear the sky.

Much to your dismay, the potential energy you curated fizzles out while the men unpack. Rafayel mumbles about the lack of storage for his clothes while Xavier doesn’t waste time with folding his clothes and just grabs handfuls of clothing and shoves them in a drawer.

Xavier comes over to you, brushing his hand across your back, “Are you tired? You can nap if you’d like.”

You turn your head towards him, “I’m tired of napping. I feel like all I do is nap.”

Rafayel chuckles as he exits the closet, “You’re the one that went and broke your ribs. C’mon cutie, what did you think would happen?”

You huff and turn back to look at the ocean, biting back the stinging shame, “I thought I’d catch him. Get this whole stalker business over with.”

“Well, I doubt they’ve followed us here.” Xavier says, eyes creasing with a stern sort of determination. That look he gets when he’s hunting, “Sylus made sure the flight logs were redacted.”

You sigh and lean into Xavier’s chest. “So, when do I stop feeling like someone is watching my every move?”

You feel Rafayel’s hand on your waist– featherlight, “That’s probably me, princess. I can’t help but watch you.”

“Xavier, Rafayel,” Zayne calls from the doorway, pulling the other two mens’ attention away from you. The doctor gives them a harsh look before continuing, “Someone needs to head into town for groceries. I have a list.”

“I can do it.” You offer, but there are several hands which stop your approach.

“No,” Xavier blurts, hand hovering inches away from your shoulder. Still not touching. “We’ll do it. Just relax. Take a nap. We’ll be back soon.”

“Um, no thanks?” Rafayel says in that melodic drawl, “I don’t wanna’ go.”

Zayne sighs and shakes his head, “Then Xavier and I will go. Behave while we’re gone.”

Rafayel only clicks his tongue and places his hands on his hips, “Tell that to Miss Housekeeper. She’s the one who’s trouble.”

Zayne’s sharp gaze flicks over to you, and he reaches out. Pressing a kiss to your forehead and the barest of smirks decorating his pretty scarred lip, “Behave, love.”

He turns and leaves, grabbing Xavier gently by the arm to walk out together. Xavier places a hand to Zayne’s back as they go.

“I’m not trouble.” You mumble indignantly.

Rafayel laughs at you and pinches your chin to bring your face closer to his, “You’re bold, princess. Lying so blatantly is a punishable offense, you know.”

He’s teasing you, and it makes your knees feel weak. That miniscule amount of skin touching you is more than you’ve gotten for weeks, and you're drifting closer to him without even thinking about it.

“Oh, you’re in bad shape, huh?” Rafayel whispers now, eyes flicking down to your lips and then back to your eyes. “So cute. Have we really been neglecting you?”

“I…” You pause, a bit of the fog carved out by shame, “No. You’re not neglecting me. I…You’ve all been taking good care of me.”

“Is that right, cutie?” Rafayel hums and presses a little closer, “You’ve been such a good girl. So patient. Listening to the doctor’s orders.”

You reach out to him and hold onto his upper arms. There's tension beneath your palm– the tightened string of a harp that gets a little sharper when you drag your palm up.

“But I think you need some…correction.” Rafayel leans forward and you move to match his kiss– but it never comes. When you lean forward, he leans back. Just out of reach. Your breath hitches and it snags in a small spark of pain.

“C-correction?” You mumble with uncertainty.

“The others may have forgiven you,” Rafayel’s voice has dropped low, that dangerous timbre you’ve only heard once before, “but I haven’t. You left me– didn’t bother telling me or anyone else where you were going and went somewhere you knew was likely dangerous.”

With his hands on your waist, he’s moving you backwards. Leading you like a waltz until the backs of your knees hit the king sized bed. He pushes you down onto it to sit, but he remains standing– hovering over you like a statuesque monarch.

“I’m sorry.” You say weakly, although your stomach twists in anticipation instead of guilt.

“You’re not forgiven.” Rafayel replies too easily, “Not yet. You took the most precious thing to me, and put her in harm’s way. How am I supposed to react to that?”

“It was–” You stutter, “I’m tired of being a burden. I wanted to solve it myself.”

“Dummy. There is no yourself anymore.” Rafayel holds the sides of your face in his palms, cradling your jaw and leaning down to press the tips of your noses together. “There is no me. There is no you. Not anymore.”

“Wha– I don’t understand.” You whisper, tilting your head back a little further, desperate for the tiniest of contact of his lips.

“There is only us.” Rafayel uses his hold to pull you up, and he lets his words brush against you. Not quite a kiss. “Mind. Body. Soul. These things don’t belong to ourselves anymore. My body is yours. My heart is yours. My soul is yours. The same goes for you, do you understand? Look at me in the eyes, princess. Don’t look away. Your body, your heart– they’re mine. To hurt you is to hurt me. Do you understand?”

You’re enraptured. Caught in a tangled net of aventurine and amethyst. His words rumble inside you like a ballad, echoing in the empty spaces of your mind until you’re so consumed by them there’s little left beyond him. Rafayel demands your full attention and you give it to him. Offer him your body– his body– with rapturous joy.

What utter bliss to be so thoroughly owned. To have every aspect of yourself being known and understood and still desired.

There’s a quiet rage in his eyes. The lulling calm of an even horizon that hides sharp, deadly swells. The ocean itself lives inside him, and you’ve offered yourself as its devotee long before you were aware of it.

“I understand.” You whisper, “I…I didn’t intend– I never meant to leave you.”

You’re not sure why those are the words you choose, but they feel right. And the sharp edge to Rafayel’s gaze softens ever so slightly.

Finally– Finally, he kisses you. A deep inhale he takes when he presses your lips to his. Head craned back to meet him, and he holds the bottom of your jaw almost too tightly. You inhale through your nose and the resistance in your chest is nearly forgotten.

It’s over too soon, but he’s not keen on being finished just yet.

“Lay back on the bed.” Rafayel commands and you’re moving before he’s done speaking.

He presses one knee to the edge of the bed and grabs your ankles, pulling you closer to him. It’s slow and gentle, much different than his usual manhandling. He takes his time to let his hands drift up your legs and to your hips.

He hooks his fingers around your pants and tugs them down, and you're lifting your hips to assist him. Rafayel makes easy work of the rest of your clothes and you’re more than happy to be maneuvered by him. His long, perfect fingers ghosting along your skin in a very-much-deliberate tease.

“I’m going to go slow, and you’re going to take it.” Rafayel rumbles when you’re bare before him. The sunlight from the window casting beams of warmth in patches along your side. The sun is getting low in the sky, the western horizon painted beautiful hues as sunset approaches. But nothing compares to the light in Rafayel’s eyes, and the gorgeous hunger that shines there. “No whining. No begging. Doctor’s orders remember. Slow, deep, even breaths.”

You bite your lip and nod, resisting the urge to squirm.

“You can come in Sylus.” Rafayel smirks when he speaks, and his gaze doesn’t leave you when the door to your room opens and Sylus enters.

The tall man seems to be in a rush when he walks over, but Rafayel reaches out to slap a hand against Sylus’ chest to stop him.

“Why’d you invite me in if you’re just gonna’ stop me?” Sylus growls, showing a little too much teeth when she speaks.

“Because I could hear you panting at the door, and it was distracting.” Rafayel coos and grabs Sylus’ shirt. “I’m still deciding what to do with you.”

“Let her decide.” Sylus offers, sounding a little too eager. His crimson eyes turn to you, “What do you want, kitten? Tell him you want my tongue.”

You inhale sharply and Rafayel’s eyes snap to you when you do. “No, she’s not getting rewarded right now. And you’re asking for a punishment with her. Go sit down.”

Sylus’ jaw clenches, and you hold your breath, waiting to see if Sylus will obey. There’s another beat of quiet before Sylus snarls, grabs Rafayel by the back of the neck and pulls him into a filthy kiss. It’s wet and Sylus bites at Rafayel’s lower lip like he’s getting out his aggression before he pulls away, walks over towards the window where a cozy chair waits, and sits down.

Rafayel licks at his lips and chuckles softly. “So, eager. Now, where was I? Ah, right.”

He pulls you down to the edge of the bed, and kneels down. You feel his hot breath against your drooling cunt, and you clench and mewl at the sensation. A chaste kiss is pressed to your inner thigh and then the other, and then a sharp bite a little higher on your flesh.

“Slow,” Rafayel growls, “Breathe slower. Deep, even breaths. Or I’ll stop.”

“Rafayel,” You whimper, and try to obey. Focusing on your breathing until it's not an anticipatory staccato, but the slow, even tempo Rafayel wants.

“Good girl.” Rafayel coos before pressing a little kiss right to your clit. You jolt and moan, but you’re quickly returning to the deep breathing before Rafayel can punish you again. You feel his satisfied hum against you, “That’s it. Such a good girl. I’m gonna go nice and slow. And you can come whenever you want, okay?”

With your bottom lip between your teeth, you nod hastily.

Rafayel is slower than he’s ever been. His tongue drags up your slit and across your clit. Slowly adding pressure and moving like he’s lapping at a slowly dripping ice cream cone. The desire that scorches you burns like a star– a constant, searing nuclear reaction.

He takes his time, and the sounds he makes are sinful. Long slurps matched your hedonistic moans. A meal worthy to be savored– a bounty of plenty served at the altar of his benevolence. Of his possession. He groans at your taste like it’s the finest dish he’s ever tasted, and slowly, so slowly even he gets a little more desperate. Pressing lips and tongue into you, pushing his tongue in as far he can get it and letting his teeth barely scrape against you.

He’s so patient. So persistent. You’d been sure you wouldn’t be able to come, but you’re quickly approaching that precipice– jolted forward towards it every time Rafayel pulls away to bite you harshly. Reminding you to watch your breathing.

You open your eyes and see Sylus in the chair, waiting not so patiently. He’s sitting at the very edge of the seat, cock in hand and slowly stroking it. Matching Rafayel’s tortuous pace. Sylus growls when you meet his eyes, and he jerks like he might stand up.

“Sylus,” You call for him and he’s up. He strides over into your outstretched hand. A hopeless, besotted addict unable to resist even the softest of pleas from you. Unable to deny the way your eyes shimmer with lust-filled tears, and your flushed lips call to him. A siren’s song if he’s ever heard one.

Sylus crawls to you, belly on the bed to kiss you. Diving into your open, wanton mouth with rapturous desire, and he’s gone. Eyes unfocused and dizzy with the scent of you. The scent of your sweat, your slick, your love. It saturates the air. That sugary scent of oxytocin that makes him feel close to weeping.

You're a panting mess again. Breathing fast as you beg for him. Beg for Rafayel. Beg for release.

Sylus backs up a bit, moving to kneel next to your head with his heavy cock in hand. He’s got the head of it right at your lips, and you keen in desperation when the heat hits your tongue.

You’ve barely got a taste of him when he’s pulled away. And Rafayel’s divine tongue is gone too. You’re shocked at the lack of contact, and more shocked to see Rafayel grabbing Sylus by the neck. The two of them precariously balanced on the edge of the bed.

“Bad lizard.” Rafayel hisses, and clenches his hand a little tighter around the sides of Sylus’ neck, making the slightly larger man whine, “You so pussy-drunk you can’t think straight? You want to set our girl’s recovery back a few weeks just to get your cock wet?”

Sylus chokes a little and shoots Rafayel a harsh stare.

“Strip. Get on the bed. On your back.” Rafayel commands, “If you can’t control yourself, I’ll help you.”

Rafayel lets go of Sylus neck and the white-haired man gasps a little. He slowly lowers himself down next to you, but Rafayel gently takes your hand and moves you to the side.

Sylus removes his clothes, eyes a mixture of deadly, ravenous hunger, and animalistic challenge. He’s obeying Rafayel, but you can see the fight there. The opportunistic part of him waiting for a moment to turn the tables. Brat. Your mind comments salaciously.

Rafayel maneuvers Sylus on the bed, with his head near the foot. And then he takes your hand like he’s guiding you in a dance and moves you to straddle Sylus.

“You’re going to ride him.” Rafayel informs you with a grin. “Slowly. Remember your breathing. Take your time. Use him. Don’t worry about his pleasure, that’s not what he’s here for. Isn’t that right, lizard?”

Sylus’ breath hitches and his face grows a little more red. He looks at you and gently, so gently he rests his hands on your hips, “That’s right. Use me, sweetie. Just—” He swallows hard, “Just tell me what you need.”

You take in a breath that feels like it might be your very last, “O-okay. I…I will.”

Rafayel returns to the foot of the bed, and you wait until he gives you a little nod before moving. You position yourself over Sylus’ cock, which twitches the moment you do, and globs of clear precum leak out.

You brace yourself against his hard abdomen and lower yourself down, inhaling through your nose and out through your mouth. And even though Sylus’ looks completely drunk as you spear yourself, he motions you through it. Hand gliding up your arm on the inhale, and then back down on the exhale.

You take a second to just sit with Sylus fully inside you, and you breathe a few more times. Nearly losing rhythm when he jolts inside you.

“Move, princess. Ride him nice and slow for me.” Rafayel says so endearingly. You lock eyes with the amethyst haired man while you ride the other. Slow, longuid rolls of your hips. More back and forth than up and down. Grinding down on his pubic bone and stimulating your swollen, needy clit.

Rafayel hums in satisfaction, “That’s it. Such a good girl. Tell me, Sylus. Tell me how she feels.”

“S-So good. Oh, god. So good.” Sylus rambles weakly. His hands resting on your thighs and shaking, trembling with the untenable desire to touch you more. To grab ahold of your waist and move you the way he wants. “So fucking tight, sweetie. Mmm, that’s it.”

“I think I’ve heard enough.” Rafayel moves to the edge of the bed, and grabs Sylus’ jaw.

A wretched sound escapes Sylus as his mouth is pried open, and you ass slaps against his hips. Those rubine eyes grow so prettily unfocused, and it takes him a moment to realize what’s happening. Neck craned back over the edge of the bed, and Rafayel’s cockhead tapped against his lips.

God, you could come just by the sight of it. Rafayel is angelic. His almost feminine features rival the beauty of Olympian myths. A face that launched a thousand ships. He commands attention just by existing, and orchestrates with an effortless wave of his hand.

Sylus, on the other hand, is destruction and carnage. The geode cracked under pressure revealing the gemstones within. A pomegranate so easily dissected by your fingers and rivulets of his bloody devotion drips down your fingers. Raw and exposed for you to dine upon, he will wrench open the fatty parts of his organs if only to sustain you.

Rafayel makes eye contact with you when he slides his cock inside Sylus’ mouth, and the connection makes the rhythm of your hips stutter.

You’re so close, and you’re chanting your rising pleasure into the ether. Christening the room with your resinous coupling.

Hearing Sylus choke sends you careening towards ecstasy, and you’re right there. Teetering on the edge but refusing to spill over. The crescendo of this performance isn’t done yet.

“Can I–” You pant and Rafayel’s deadly stare makes you pause. Makes you focus once more on your dreadful breathing, and those deep lungfuls of air only make Sylus feel bigger inside you. You lick at the drool that threatens to spill from the side of your mouth, “Can I come, please? Please, Rafayel?”

Rafayel had said no begging, but oh, you are so beautiful when you do. He sees his undoing in your longing face.

The expression you make when you’re so very close but trying to be so very good. He sees the reason behind decisions that have long since been made. In your quiet, desperate pleas, he sees the fall of Lemuria. The death of Philos. The crumbling of a Tower.

The goddess of destruction and chaos. For empires fall at your feet for the chance to taste your ecstasy.

Rafayel gives his permission, and you fall to decadent pieces. Your beloved dragon is not far behind. His hips pushing upward to fuck all the balmy come he can into you.

It’s a wonderful sight, and if we were a different kind of artist, Rafayel would paint it. A picture of such utter desperate devotion. Sylus’ rumbling growls of his peak are the last thing Rafayel needs to finish, but he grants the dragon the reprieve of pulling out before he does.

You watch as Rafayel paints Sylus’ chest and neck with strings of pearlescent seed, and being the depraved whore that you are, you lean forward to lick it away.

Sylus groans and his hips jerk upwards again, his cock jolting inside you in one final spark. The last breath of his pleasure that nearly takes his life.

The three of you take a moment, still basking in the rosy-hued air that surrounds you. The scent of sweat and sex mixes with the salty air of the ocean-side, and you realize that you’ve started fucking in the place before even doing a proper tour of it.

You giggle softly against Sylus chest, rising and falling with the risen tempo of his breathing. He looks up at you, his eyes red-hot coals.

“I love you.” You whisper to him, moving to kiss him soundly on the mouth. And then, pressing your hands against his chest, you sit up to smile dreamily at Rafayel, “I love you.”

There’s a moment of suspended animation, but then the world is moving. Or at least, your world is moving. Rafayel and Sylus are crowding you on the bed, fighting with who can cover you in more kisses. Their mouths are nearly indiscernible from one another, but Sylus’ kisses are a little warmer. Not more tender, but physically hotter. Rafayel all but drags his lips up and down your neck. Like he’s memorizing the curve of you with his mouth.

“Love. Love you.” Sylus breathes it like he’s on the verge of tears, “I love you. God, you love me. You didn’t— I can’t believe you love me.”

Rafayel is little less shell-shocked by the declaration, lavishing you with quiet, reverent words, “My love. My beloved. My own heart.”

When Zayne and Xavier return, the groceries are put away and you’re eager to get to the beach. It’s only just outside, a walkway from the back porch leading down through the brush and to the powdery white sand.

However, it’s not as simple an endeavor as you thought it would be. Zayne is adamant about checking you over. He examines the scars from the surgery and how nicely they’ve healed and then he listens to your lungs for the umpteenth time, shushing you when you try to argue while he listens for pneumonia or some other dastardly complication.

Once you’ve been cleared by Dr. Zayne, your Zayne returns, and he packs a tote bag while you get changed. A little pink swimsuit that matches the baby pink of your scrunchie that you use to tie your hair back. Ruffles around the hips that flutter when you swish back and forth playfully.

Your boys are getting ready for an afternoon in the sun, and you’re buzzing with anticipation for it. Zayne wears a white swim shirt that covers his shoulders and slim black swim trunks. He’s got a bottle of sunscreen in his hand, wielding it like a weapon as he tries to pin down one of the others.

Rafayel uses the mirror in your bathroom to apply his own sunscreen while Xavier comes up behind you to adjust the tie of your swimsuit at your neck. His warm fingertips tracing the line of the bathing suit and you can feel the brush of his breath at your back.

“Do you like it?” You ask, and Xavier presses a doughy, feathery kiss to your shoulder.

“Very much.”

You’re only able to escape Zayne and his liberal application of sunscreen for so long, and you’re standing like a toddler on the back porch with your arms out while he massages the zinc oxide into your skin. It leaves a slightly sticky white cast everywhere, and when you ask about a nicer less sticky version, Zayne remarks about the efficacy of mineral sunscreens over chemical ones.

Sylus passes by with a large umbrella over one shoulder, the tote bag hanging from the other, and a cooler hauled along in his hands. Xavier carries some towels while Rafayel adjusts a sunhat over his head and smaller straw bag over his shoulder.

An oversized umbrella is stabbed into the sand, and a blanket is laid out beneath it. Zayne takes special care to place some rocks on the corners to keep it flat, and when you arrive, he takes your hand to lead you to sit while he gets you a can of strawberry lemonade from the cooler.

The ocean breeze is restorative, the rush of briny air that sweeps across the picturesque sands soothes the unrest you’d been feeling. Coated like cracks in drywall with spackle. Repainted and unblemished with that cool, irreproducible blue that only the sky and ocean can be.

Rafayel pauses to kiss your temple before he’s at the shoreline, scouring the swiping sand that the waves leave behind for shells and shark teeth. The ocean brushes against his ankles and speckles of seafoam sparkle up around him.

Every so often, he picks one up and calls out to you. Showing you his prize before tucking it away in his bag. He seemed particularly picky about which shells he chose, like the inexplicable choices of a small child. Not just small or large shells. To you, there was no rhyme or reason to the ones he found special, and you stopped trying to figure it out after a while.

Zayne sat down next to you on the blanket, brushing his fingers down your arm in a quiet, intimate caress.

“Am I allowed to get in the water, Dr. Zayne?” You teased with an impish tilt of your head.

The dark-haired man grinned at you, melted into sticky, melted ice cream under the shoreline’s sun. “Why do I have the feeling I am being made the villain here? I don’t say no for the fun of it, you know.”

You giggle softly, “Oh, of course not. Though, seriously, I know actually swimming is out of the question. No holding my breath, and all. But, it's alright if I go up to my waist right? Just to feel it?”

Zayne hums and his hazel gaze drifts over to the lazy ocean surf, “I suppose. Though there’s one thing I need to do before you go.”

“I am literally covered in sunscreen, what could that possibly be?” You ask a little incredulously.

Zayne, with his weight resting on his hands, leans over to you, “Come here.”

There’s a sybaritic tone in his voice and you know what he wants. You shift to let him kiss you, and you feel the microscale smile playing at his lips when he does. A languorous press of lips that makes you smile because it feels like an indulgence and routine all at once. You could have this at any point- and oh what an utter prize that is to have.

You slip away from him, rising to skip on airy footsteps down to the waterline. Rafayel greets you and shows you a deep amber colored cockle shell, “Look, cutie! I found another one! I could make you a necklace now!”

“There are so many!” You chirp, delving into the foamy water that’s warmer than you expected. Up to your ankles you see the half-buried shells all around.

“Tell me if you find any coral pieces,” Rafayel says as he tucks the cockle into his bag, “I need the pigment to make more paint.”

“Right, I’ll let you know.” You walk deeper into the water, the waves rolling up to your knees. The pulling of each roll is a melodic dance that you’ve missed dearly. It’s been too long since the last time you’ve seen the ocean, and longer still since you’ve had a proper vacation.

You spy Sylus and Xavier swimming nearly outside the bay, cutting through the water like olympic swimmers. They’d taken off before you’d even properly sat down. Tossing aside the things they’d carried in a rush to reach the water first. A race. Of all things. Who was the faster swimmer?

“Not too far!” Zayne calls when the water reaches your thighs. A larger wave has you stumbling back, but not nearly enough to make you lose your footing. Just dancing with the waves– that’s all.

Only Zayne doesn’t interpret it that way, and is walking towards the water with determined steps. The violet-haired man sheds his bag just outside the water’s reach and follows Zayne to you, and you meet them halfway, back to the safety of water below your knees.

“Calm down, Mother hen.” Rafayel scolds, splashing a bit of water on the icy man.

Zayne sputters at the nickname and gets this odd look in his eyes, “Mother hen?”

There’s a flash of movement. Zayne ducking down to grab Rafayel around the legs and haul him over his wide shoulder. Rafayel lets out an undignified screech as he’s dragged very unceremoniously until Zayne’s up to his ribs in water, and then tossed like a sack of potatoes into the depths below. Rafayel falls into the waves with a large splash and quickly recovers, water dripping from his aventurine hair and a flustered expression on his face.

“I am not a Mother Hen.” Zayne says coolly.

You crumple into laughter while Rafayel splashes with a wave that nearly topples Zayne. Just as you nearly fall over from the delirious giggles that throttle you, Sylus and Xavier come splashing by– neck and neck.

Xavier is a streamlined machine, cutting through the water like a shark, while Sylus is more aggressive but powerful. A killer whale with a bit more taste for blood.

They reach the shore and it’s nearly a tie. But Xavier is the winner, standing triumphantly on the sand with his chest out and shoulders squared. Sylus laughs and throws his arm around the victor's shoulders.

Before you know it, you’re holding Zayne’s hand as you wade a little further into the water. Rafayel swims deeper out, head bobbing for only a moment at a time before he disappears again beneath the surf. Sylus and Xavier have entered into their second competition of the afternoon– volleyball.

You hear the thudding of the ball as they volley it back and forth amidst the waves and the calling of gulls. You watch the shifting seafloor beneath your feet, looking for sparks of color for Rafayel’s collection. Zayne’s hand keeps you steady when an errant wave splashes against you.

A harsh thunk! pulls your attention just in time to see the volleyball spack Xavier square in the face, and send him careening onto his back on the sand. Even Zayne laughs from beside you, and Sylus claims a victory for himself.

The sun gets a little further down in the sky, and you retreat back to the sand. Building sandcastles from clumpy wet sand left behind by the low tide. The two fair haired boys are tied at the moment. Xavier claimed another victory on how long they could hold their breath, but then Sylus evening the score with a “who can throw Rafayel farther” contest.

Now, it’s sandcastles. And as you pat another fat glob onto your lumpy tower, you wonder how they’re going to determine a winner for that one.

Rafayel sits at your side, sighing at the craftsmanship of your work but doing little to amend it. You’re trying for a medieval castle look. With a keep, and battlements, and merlons. Only it’s coming out more like mounds with a snake-like circle around it.

A glance over to Xavier reveals a proper castle. With tall spires and cone tops. The kind you see in fairytales and princess stories. Where a prince comes to the rescue of a fair maiden, and they lived happily-ever-after.

Sylus’ creation is a bit more– utilitarian. His castle has low towers with round tops and proper battlements. A moat he’s filled with water and little pebbles lining the outerwall. The kind of keep built for war. Built to withstand siege and prolonged battle.

Zayne’s is oddly familiar. A singular tower like one that Rapunzel found herself in. Archtop windows line the sides of the octagonal tower, and it seems to be built onto a hill. He’s taken little shells and lined the winding path up to the gates. There’s this far off look in his golden green eyes, as he uses a small twig to indent more windows along the base.

“I clearly have won,” Xavier says as the five of you find a spot on the blanket, the umbrella is mere decoration now– as the sun has begun to kiss the far-off horizon. The very air around you shimmers with gold, and you can see that both Xavier and Sylus are sporting red faces and shoulders– having slipped away from Zayne’s reapplication of sunscreen.

“It’s classic, but ordinary.” Rafayel comments as he leans back onto his hands, “A chateau-style, but clearly meant for ornamental purposes. I’d never live there, just think of the marathon you’d have to do to get to breakfast every morning.”

“It’s the tallest.” Xavier deadpans, as if that is the quantifying factor.

“Mine is just as tall.” Zayne adds, not really interested in the victory but smirking into his drink when Xavier pouts.

“If size is the measure,” Sylus begins, laying down on his stomach and resting his arms on your outstretched legs. There’s sand sticking to every part of him, and it scatters like glitter onto the woven blanket below. The heat from his skin is scalding, and you grimace at the redness of his shoulders, “Then I won. Mine is far wider and takes up more space. Plus, water features.”

“A little water in a moat is not a water feature.” Rafayel says with a scoff. “I can see the medieval influences, but the design of the keep is…lacking. Where’s the chapel? The kitchens? Did you even add a stable?”

You’re always surprised by the little things Rafayel seems to know. Who knew he’d be such a stickler for castle architecture, and so whiny about it?

“I see you didn’t build one, why is that?” Xavier asks as he delves into the cooler and pulls out a bottle of water. He uncaps it and goes over to you, pressing the spout of it to your lips in a silent command to drink. You giggle softly and drink a few swallows, and then nod at him to do the same. Xavier takes your hydration very seriously, it seems. Nothing eaten until you’ve had a bite, nothing done until you’ve had your chance with it first.

“It wouldn’t be fair.” Rafayel sighs theatrically, “I figured I’d let you have the chance at winning. Though I think it’s hard to decide from such…meager options.”

“Yikes, Rafayel. Go easy on us, why don’t you?” You say with a laugh. “Well, mine is dead last. I’ll take that trophy with pride, please and thank you.”

“Does there need to be a winner?” Zayne makes an attempt to dissuade the whole enterprise and is met with three aghast expressions.

“We need a tie breaker.” Sylus says but halfway through his sentence he nearly yawns, relaxing his head fully into the embrace of your lap.

Seeing him yawn makes you yawn, and you do so as you ask, “Why not a cooking competition? I’m starving.”

“That’s hardly fair.” Xavier gripes.

“Absolutely.” Sylus says at the very same time.

“We should probably pack up and head back inside.” You say, though make no move to follow your words. You’re running your hands through Sylus’ salt roughened hair, and if he could, he’d be purring.

“Just a little longer.” Rafayel says as he lays on his back, head resting on his hands as he luxuriates himself in the rays of the setting sun. Dappled with brilliant copper and golden light that makes him seem all that more ethereal. “Until the sun sets, at least.”

Zayne reaches out and dusts some sand out of Rafayel’s hair, mumbling, “We don’t have any lights, we shouldn’t walk back when it’s dark.”

Xavier nudges Zayne with his shoulder and with a little wiggle of his fingers, tiny starbursts of light flicker in the air. Falling like teardrops from a cascading firework until they disappear.

“Oh, right.” Zayne says, clearing his throat and then relaxing. “Well, I suppose a little longer wouldn’t hurt.”

You feel when Sylus falls asleep. The weight on your legs suddenly becomes twice as heavy, and he exhales so serenely it makes your heart swell.

The four of you sit there, quietly waiting for the sun to set. The radiant sphere takes her time in descending, granting you more precious moments of serenity. Time slows into nothing, and your focus on it. The sound of the waves. The brush of the cooling breeze. You stare, unabashedly, at your lovers. The four men for which you can only wonder how lucky you must be to have met them. The fortune to know them and to adore them. What utter consummate perfection.

So, you imprint this memory into your psyche. The shape and curve of them. The shade of their skin and their hair. The way they position themselves becomes an intaglio engraving in your mind. One you can make print after print for as long as you live.

The sun grants you one last whisper of light. Nyx with her shadowy skirts begin to cover the sky, and the painted light of day kisses her mother goodnight.

Zayne wakes Sylus and the two of them gather up the blanket and umbrella while Xavier and you roll up the towels. Rafayel, with his bag of shells, takes the nearly empty cooler.

Your sun-baked body is warm to the touch as you walk back to the beachhouse and the four of you try to cram into the outdoor shower to rid yourself of the sand before entering.

Sylus is too big to share, and takes up the entire spray, but he grabs you anyway, pulling you close to his body and using his hands to slide the sand from your arms and your back. Xavier squeezes in next to you and pushes Sylus out. You help Xavier rinse his hair and then brush the sand from him. The two of you exit and Rafayel shoves Zayne in before him, following after him with a mischievous smirk.

The air conditioned house is too cold for you and you’re rushing to the bedroom to change into something warmer. Cozy pants and a slightly oversized shirt with some fluffy pink bunny slippers.

When your boys finish changing and come back to the living room, you see that Xavier is wearing his matching slippers to you. And he grins when he sees this, sliding over to your side and wiggling his foot. The snowy rabbit on his feet kissing the blush ones of yours.

“How’re you feeling?” Zayne asks as he sits next to you on the couch. Rafayel is sorting his shells on the dining room table and Sylus is in the kitchen cutting vegetables for a stir fry with a not-at-all-unhappy Xavier by his side.

“I feel good. No trouble breathing. Didn’t even hurt at all.” You reply. Lifting your shirt you show him the little scar along your ribs, nothing but a bright pink scar at this point. “How does it look?”

Zayne’s face curdles. The mere sight of it making something dark cross his eyes. He gently traces his fingers along the scar and you shiver. There wasn’t much sensation along the scar tissue, but what was left was a sparkling tingling. Like the sharp icicles from being dunked in ice water.

“It’s still healing well. Are you still using the scar cream?” He asks even though he knows you are. He’s been there more often than not at night when you slather the oily cream along the scar.

“Of course.” You reply and let your shirt drop. Spying the stethoscope around his neck you nod towards it, “You want to listen again?”

“If you don’t mind,” Zayne says as he takes the stethoscope from his neck and places it in his ears. He starts with your heart, the cold bell makes you shiver but you’re so used to it by now that you don’t think to complain. He shifts and his eyes focus on where his fingers are, listening intently.

It’s funny sometimes. Zayne cares so much about your heart, and not the metaphorical kind. If everyone had someone who cared as much as Zayne does, you think the world would be a much happier, much healthier place. So long as they didn’t follow along with Zayne’s diet of sweets.

He shifts to listen to your breathing and you take a few long, deep breaths like you’ve done dozens of times at this point. Zayne nods satisfactorily and takes the earpieces out, “Sounds good. No crackling. No fluid.”

“Just like the last thousand times you’ve check, Dr. Zayne.” You comment with a playful tap to his nose. He flusters a little and leans back.

“And I’ll keep checking. If it means you remember not to do something so foolish next time.” Zayne tucks his stethoscope away and looks away from you. Over to where Xavier is currently attempting to ruin supper by adding in a whole bottle of sauce– only stopped by Sylus’ quick hand.

“Hey Zayne,” You say with a sigh. The dark haired man looks at you, and you hope you don’t look too much like a kicked puppy, “I’m sorry. Really, I am. I shouldn’t have gone off without saying anything.”

“And?” Zayne presses, face impassive.

You blink a little at the coldness in his voice. Perhaps Rafayel had been right. Maybe the other hadn’t forgiven you for getting hurt just yet. “And I’m sorry for jumping off a roof.”

Zayne’s expression hardens and you can see the wheels in his mind turning. He’s always been a thoughtful man. He’d been a thoughtful boy, those many years ago. He’d take ages to take his turn at board games when you were children, nearly sending Caleb into tears of utter frustration.

He places a hand on the side of your face, and for a moment you feel like something precious. Some adored family heirloom that’s too delicate to touch except on special occasions– the loss of which would mean the loss of memories as well. “I forgive you,” He whispers, and his thumb brushes against your lips.

You grab his wrist and hold him fast, turning to kiss his palm. He smells like spearmint and snow, and you’re never going to get used to the way his fingers tremble when you touch him. The way his Evol reacts to yours like two pieces of magnets– poles inexplicably drawn together.

Supper is delicious as always. Sylus follows recipes to the letter and never strays, though he always douses his own plate with a bit more seasoning or sauce than the rest. With your stomach full, you’re ready to pass out.

When it comes to the victor of their childish competition, they finally settle on a draw. Their prizes? The empty sides of your bed.

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#love and deepspace #lads #lads x reader #lads fanfic #zayne x reader #sylus x reader #rafayel x reader #xavier x reader #rafayel x sylus #fishcrow #crowfish #snowcrow #poly lads

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voiceofthelionhearted · 2 months ago

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for relating to her so much, it's kind of a surprise that i've never made a post about the spectre and the lead into tpatd. but i guess today, we're changing that.

the spectre is, in my mind, about giving grace, changing, and empathy. spectre is surprisingly kind, being the one princess you get by immediately killing the previous princess. however, she doesn't let you forget what you've done. she calls you "killer". she also shows that she has an edge -- she can be dangerous to you if she wants to, but you are no longer dangerous to her. she holds all the power, in terms of physical danger. and she is willing to look past your previous murder of her in order to reach a conclusion that she seems to feel is mutually beneficial. in my mind, there is no reason for her to be this reasonable -- unless she thinks that something is up. for instance, there's someone behind the scenes who is telling you to kill her.

which, of course, she learns to be the truth when she possesses you. for how excited cold is at the prospect of her meeting the one who wanted you to kill her so badly, she treats the narrator with the same attitude she treats you, only reacting with frustration or incredulity when he states the obvious about her no longer being in the room with tlq, and offense when he describes her presence with his body as burdensome. she doesn't like him, but she's still willing to be civil and understanding, like when she describes him as a memory and "similar to her".

she is understandably angry when you decide to slay yourself to slay her. it's petty. it's self-destructive. it's terrifying. why would someone go to such lengths to hurt another? but, she did hear how the narrator encouraged you to "fix your mistake" of deciding to let her out, so both iterations of the princess in the following chapter are willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. although, in the harsh princess's case, it's mostly because -- well -- you're stuck together, and neither of you know for how long.

and it's following her possession of you and going into tpatd where you see that she is still willing to be civil -- but that doesn't mean that your actions have no consequences.

if you were cruel to her prior to letting her possess you, she is understandably on edge, because it means that you didn't do any self-reflection and could potentially still be a danger to her. she automatically responds to opportunist's violence with violence, angry at having been hurt again, and responds to you telling her that you're back in your own body with more anger and betrayal. you're begging her to stop hurting you, after all you've done is hurt her without any remorse or second thought. after sharing a body with her, she must have hoped that you can understand her pain and anger, despite how civil she was willing to be with you. she made it abundantly clear to you that, even though she's willing to put everything behind herself, she hasn't forgotten it, and yet, you still think that you're allowed to beg for the pain to stop? after you caused all of her pain in the first place? when you tell her that you deserve to die for all that you've done to her, she considers your words, and then her angry expression melts into something softer. sadder. you finally understand. you're taking responsibility for your actions. regardless of whether or not someone was influencing your decision to hurt her, it was still just that -- your decision. showing remorse in front of her tells her that you've truly learned of her pain, and fully understand it. she may have been harsh, but is it so wrong to be harsh towards someone who has only ever hurt you?

if you were kind to her, she is nicer to you, and a lot more timid in front of your body. she wants to keep you hidden away, a secret to be kept safe, because you reflected on your previous actions and were kind to her. yeah, you stabbed yourself to get to her, and she's confused about why you would do something like that, but perhaps she's willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, because she heard the narrator and how he talked about her. she's hoping that you were only cruel to her because of the narrator, and so maybe you can be kinder. in fact, she knows that you can be kinder -- because she's seen it. so she's kinder to you, hoping that the two of you are building a relationship wherein you won't hurt her anymore. she's less willing to hurt your body, because even though there are voices in there that she doesn't like, that's still your body, and you're still the one in control when you're inside of it. in this one, you betray her by not listening to her request that she cut herself free. she's not angry at you, but you can see sorrow in her face as you cut her free, rather than letting her do so herself. as we know, this results in opportunist finally killing the two of you. you disregard her desires, her autonomy, and both of you suffer the consequences together.

yes, the point of the spectre and tpatd is empathy and understanding, but it's also about forgiveness and what it looks like. forgiveness is not always a soft and sweet thing. it can also be harsh and guarded. it just depends on the subject of forgiveness and how they act. that is the healthiest form of forgiveness -- you forgive, but you do not let the person who hurt you, hurt you again. not without consequences this time.

#slay the princess

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axeeglitter · 10 months ago

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Back from the Vault: Forbidden Love

Luke and Nathan had always been close, best friends since kindergarten when Nathan stood up for Luke against a bully named Josh. Their bond had only grown stronger over the years, and now, as college roommates, they were inseparable. Their small apartment was a mess of dirty socks, sports gear, and magazines, but they didn’t mind. It was their first place together, and they cherished every moment.

Both were in good shape, though Nathan was more muscular, often walking around campus shirtless, much to Luke’s amusement. Luke, though less physically imposing, was proud of his friend. But when Luke met Abby during their second semester, everything changed. For Luke, it was love at first sight, and since he spent all his time with Nathan, their duo turning into a trio was inevitable. But things started to evolve as Nathan, the athletic charmer, and Abby, the spirited cheerleader, began to take an interest in each other. After a couple of weeks, without Luke noticing anything different, Nathan came home one night and announced the good news to Luke that he was no longer single.

Initially, Luke was happy for Nathan. Abby was the perfect girlfriend anyone would dream of, and even though it was painful for Luke to see his best friend live the love story he had envisioned for himself, he was glad Abby was with someone like Nathan. However, as time passed, Luke struggled to find happiness watching them spend time together and seeing their relationship evolve and deepen. He couldn’t control the thoughts that crept into his mind when he was alone, and the guilt weighed heavily on him. He knew he couldn’t betray his best friend, but his feelings for Abby and the pain of this sense of betrayal only grew stronger each day.

One night, struggling with his emotions, Luke went to a bar to drink alone. The place was dimly lit and mostly empty, save for a woman sitting at the bar, surrounded by empty martini glasses. Her presence was almost otherworldly, with a mysterious aura that drew Luke in. She wore a long, elegant black coat above a black suit, her silver hair cascading down her back like a waterfall of moonlight. Her eyes, sharp and filled with unsettling wisdom, never left his as he approached.

Luke sat down next to her, ordered a drink, and before he knew it, he was spilling his heart out to her, confessing his unrequited love for Abby and his growing resentment toward Nathan, thanks to more beers than he could count. The woman listened in silence, her gaze never wavering from Luke’s face. When he finished, she smiled, a thin, knowing smile that sent a chill down his spine.

“I’ve seen men like you before,” she said, her voice low and smooth. “Men who want what they can’t have. Men who let jealousy consume them. Men who dream their lives instead of living their dreams.”

Luke shuddered, suddenly feeling as though he was in the presence of something far more powerful than he had anticipated. “I don’t know what to do,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper as he felt tears of frustration beginning to rise in his exhausted eyes.

The woman reached into her bag and pulled out a small, ornate vial filled with a strange, shimmering liquid. The liquid seemed to pulse with a life of its own, shifting colors from deep violet to bright emerald as she held it up to the light.

Luke hesitated as he held the strange vial the old woman had given him. He looked into her eyes, seeking some explanation for what this potion would do. The bar was dimly lit, and the shadows played tricks on his mind, making her seem more otherworldly with each passing moment.

The woman leaned in closer, her voice a low whisper. "This potion is powerful, but it won’t work on its own. You must mix it with alcohol, something strong, something your friend would drink willingly. Once he consumes it, his transformation will begin."

"Transformation?" Luke asked, unsure of what she meant. "What will happen to him?"

The woman smiled enigmatically, her eyes gleaming with a mix of sympathy and something darker. "He will change, Luke. Everything will change into something else, something that will remove the pain you feel, something that will ease it, something that will be useful and loved, cherished by the masses and needed by the world. He will change into something greater, and you will get your desires. But be warned: once the transformation starts, there’s no turning back. He will become anything that the potion sees fit, and you will finally live your dreams instead of dreaming your life," the mysterious woman said in an eerie voice. Luke could hear echoes of her voice resonating in his mind as his vision was blurred by the alcohol and the tears.

Luke swallowed hard, his mind racing with possibilities. He wanted Nathan out of the way, yes, but he hadn’t thought through what that truly meant. Still, the jealousy and frustration gnawed at him, and the idea of finally having Abby to himself was too tempting to resist.

"How… how do I control it?" Luke asked, his voice trembling slightly.

"You don’t," the woman replied. "The potion will cater to his master’s needs, his deepest desires. It will bend reality to fit what he truly wants. But remember, Luke: once it’s done, it’s done. There is no undoing what you will set in motion."

Luke nodded, unsure of what to say. He took the vial on the counter, his head tilted, his sight lost in the shimmering emerald and purple glitters of this liquid hope. “I don’t even know your… name,” Luke asked, but as he tilted his head, he realized the woman was not there anymore, leaving him alone at the bar. The bartender claimed not to have seen her, and Luke wondered if he had imagined the entire encounter. But the vial in his hand was real, and the temptation was too great to resist.

When he returned to the apartment, Abby was asleep in Nathan’s arms. Her head was resting on Nathan’s shirtless chest, her shoulders hugged by his hairless, muscled body. A wave of jealousy and anger washed over him. His hand tightened around the vial in his pocket as it started to glow with a faint green light. This was the last straw for Luke, and the potion activated to this feeling of jealousy and loneliness.

The next morning, while Abby was still asleep, Luke approached Nathan in the bathroom as he got ready for the gym.

“Hey, bro, you free tonight? I want to have a few beers with you, just the two of us,” Luke suggested, trying to sound casual. Nathan, a bit surprised but touched by the offer, was about to decline when Luke started again. “I don’t want to be sentimental or anything, but you are my best friend, and I just want to have a night like the good old days. We are growing up, and I don’t want time and relationships to put distance between us. I miss you, bro…” Touched by that, Nathan couldn’t say no. He looked into Luke’s eyes and realized that Luke was sincere, even more so because he never opened up about his feelings like that. Nathan smiled before answering, “Sure, man. It’s been a while since we hung out, just us.”

That night, as Luke and Nathan sat in the bar, Luke couldn’t shake the woman’s warning. He had mixed the potion into Nathan’s beer just as instructed, his heart pounding with a mix of anticipation and fear. They laughed, clinking glasses as they always had before saying in unison, “Bottoms up!” Luke forced a smile, masking the turmoil inside him, watching intently as Nathan downed the beer in one long gulp. As they continued to drink and laugh, Luke almost forgot about the potion. For a brief moment, everything was like it used to be: him and his best friend laughing, talking about everything and anything, and remembering their good old days. Luke started to notice subtle changes in Nathan. His movements became sluggish, his speech slightly slurred—nothing out of the ordinary after a few beers, but Luke realized it was more than that, and a deep feeling of joy started to rise inside him. His past was with Nathan, but his future would be with Abby. Nathan jumped off his chair all of a sudden and started to walk as best he could to the empty bathroom. By the time he reached it, he was struggling to stay on his feet, his head spinning uncontrollably. "Bro, are you okay?" Luke asked, feigning concern as he followed Nathan with calm, unbothered steps. Nathan groaned, gripping the sink for support. "I don’t know… something feels off. Like… like I’m burning up inside." Luke’s heart raced as he saw Nathan’s skin begin to redden, almost as if it were boiling from within. Sweat poured down Nathan’s face, his body trembling as he sank to his knees on the grimy tiles. "What’s happening to me?" Nathan gasped, his voice strained with pain. “I don’t know, bro, maybe you drank too much…” answered Luke as he saw Nathan’s transformation starting to appear.

Suddenly, Nathan screamed in pain as he felt his spine starting to hurt. A crack, and another one, then one more, again, and again, and again. Nathan felt like each of his vertebrae started to separate from each other before growing and thickening. The pain was awful, and for a moment, Nathan couldn’t breathe anymore. He fell on the grimy ground in front of the sink and tilted his head toward Luke with a pleading and terrified look. He needed help, but as he opened his mouth to call for his friend, a new series of cracks started to resonate in his bones. Nathan looked in front of him as his feet started to crack. His favorite pair of shoes felt constricting. It was almost like something was crawling inside as he saw the leather starting to boil, and then, with one loud ripping sound, his shoes vanished into dust, leaving his transforming bare feet on the cold tiles. His toes started to crack, elongate, and thicken. His feet started to grow thicker and longer as he went from a size 42 to a 47 in a couple of seconds. They looked way too big and disproportionate now, and as his nerves started to grow in them, he knew that it was only the start of something far worse. Nathan tilted his head once again with tears of pain in his eyes and found the strength to ask for help. But as the tears were starting to fall on his rosy cheeks, the only thing he saw was the vicious smile of his childhood friend.

“Do you know how hard it is to dream of something and never be able to get it? Do you know how hard it is to always stay in the shadow? Out of all the people on this planet, I really thought you were the one who would always be there for me. But instead, you ended up being the one that caused me to suffer the most. You remember how things were easy before? How we were happy and spending time together? Bros before hoes, right? Well, I think you forgot, and the worst part is, I can’t even blame you. Abby is a pearl. She is kind, talented, beautiful, smart. She is everything. And you knew I had feelings for her the moment my sight landed on her. But no, as always, you have everything, and I stood there, watching you live the love story I deserved. If at least you were still spending time with me, things would have been easier. But no! You had the perfect girlfriend, the perfect college life, and I stood there begging for crumbs of the life we could have had together. The best years of our lives, right? I don’t see how this can be the best. Standing in your shadow and sharing a bathroom as bonding time. Well, tonight it changes. Tonight, I get what I want. And you’ll finally understand what it feels like to dream your life instead of living your dreams,” said Luke with a sigh full of anger and pain.

Nathan realized at that moment that he wouldn’t be able to get any help from Luke because he was the one that caused it. As he tried to get up on his bigger, larger feet, a new pain appeared in his legs, and he crashed back on his hands and knees as the same thing started to happen to his pants. They started to boil, and all of a sudden, they exploded into dust as he stood there in his underwear with his hands next to the toilet seat. His legs started to boil—the bones shattering and reforming into stronger, thicker ones. His muscles boiled and reformed into massive ones that could crush watermelons between them.

Then the same phenomenon happened with his shirt and torso. All of a sudden, he was nearly naked in the dimly lit bathroom. His new muscled body glistened with drops of sweat and tears of pain as the final cracks echoed against the tiles. His new stronger, calloused hands stood still on the cold floor.

Nathan took a moment to realize the cracking had stopped, and he spasmed as he could breathe a bit better now that his ribs were done rearranging. He blinked and his back contracted as he tried to get up, but as he put his new sole on the ground, he felt Luke’s hand on his muscle-spasming back, forcing him back onto his hands and feet.

“I don’t think you are ready yet,” Luke said with anger in his voice as he realized a new change starting to unfold in the center of Nathan’s back.

Out of nowhere, Nathan started to feel a stinging sensation in his back where Luke saw the start of the change. Then, just like a wave crashing on the shore, the sensation began to grow and move all around in a circular motion, leaving in its wake a more golden natural brown tan. As the wave of stinging started to reach the front of his body, Nathan realized, screaming in fear, as his pale white skin began to change to a natural golden tan. As the wave passed through his muscled pecs, his nipples took on a brown cherry hue. Then, as the wave finally reached his legs and hands, Nathan turned his hands to look at his palms, noticing a faint demarcation as the inside of his hands was taking on a lighter golden tan than the rest of his body. The tingling then started to get worse in some areas of his body. His armpits, legs, pecs, happy trail and crotch began to burn. It was as if he were being burned alive, and sweat started to pour out of his pores, but instead of water, millions of tiny follicles of dark, dense hair began to be activated by the wave of change. Nathan felt the hair starting to scratch against his new sensitive skin, and he could even see some of his thick pit hair spilling out of his pits.

Nathan’s breath was intense and fast. He felt the transformation moving, and he was frozen in pain and fear as he felt the wave finally reach the base of his neck.

As it started to move, his face began to change. His lips started to grow and inflate as they took on a natural cherry color. Then his nose cracked and reformed into a stockier, bigger version of its old appearance. Nathan could smell a faint odor of blood as his sinuses cleared and grew into a bigger cavity, resulting in a better sense of smell. Then his eyes were touched by the stinging sensation as his vision went white. For a moment, Nathan thought he was blind as the wave was rewriting his eye color and sight, changing from blue eyes with fairly normal eyesight to a deep, velvety chocolate color and perfect sight, protected by thick dark eyebrows. All of a sudden, it was as if Nathan could see the world in high definition. The minimal details of his tanned skin on the back of his hand were clear; he could see the definition of his skin pores and the smallest grain of dust on the white tile beneath them. He would have screamed in surprise and joy if it weren’t for the wave moving on even further, engulfing his scalp and his dirty blonde hair, transforming them into wavy, almost curly black long ones after what a beard started to grow on his new masculine cheeks.

The stinging wave was finally done, and all of Nathan’s skin was now a natural golden tan, leaving him from a white Caucasian to a perfectly tanned Latino man.

Out of nowhere, as Nathan heard Luke laughing behind him, he found the strength to get up and pushed Luke against the tiled wall with his forearm against his neck.

“What have you done?! Turn me back! Now!” Nathan screamed in a menacing tone at what he thought was his best friend.

But all he heard in return was Luke laughing as he realized Abby wouldn’t be able to recognize Nathan’s new physical form. For a brief moment, Luke thought his problems were gone and he’d finally be able to be the main character of his life.

“It’s okay, bro. You might be angry right now, and it’s totally normal, but look at you—you have a perfectly muscled Latino body now. You literally look like a Mexican god. The world is yours, and you can have anyone, anyone except Abby, of course.” As Luke finished his sentence, he saw Nathan open his mouth with anger and tears of betrayal in his eyes. He looked at his best friend in the eyes and there he saw it—a shimmer of purple and emerald green light that turned some kind of light off inside Nathan’s brain.

As he was about to talk again, Nathan felt his strength leaving him. His grip on Luke weakened, his head started to spin, and he almost fell back on the ground if he hadn’t found support on the sink.

“Come on, bro, don’t try to trick me now. Look, I know it was maybe a bit too far, but look at your body. You should thank me, honestly. Have you seen your muscles?” said Luke in a genuine tone, not realizing Nathan was going through another transformation. After a couple of seconds, where Luke continued to explain how this could be a chance for Nathan, he realized he wasn’t getting any responses. Doubts began to rise in his mind as he asked in a genuinely concerned tone, “Bro, are you okay?” Luke felt fear rise in his heart as he saw Nathan’s head tilt in the mirror and noticed the same green and purple hue shimmer in his eyes' reflection. “What the fuck is that?” Luke thought loudly as he saw the shimmer disappear, leaving Nathan’s eyes lost and searching for answers. They didn’t know what was about to happen.

Nathan started to see flashes of memories in front of him: his parents, Abby, Luke and him in kindergarten, football games, his favorite movies. It was as if his life was flashing in front of him before being stuck in a distant place, still there but harder to reach, present but not as vivid as it had been. Nathan was slowly losing the grip of his reality as he realizes his body was getting harder and harder to control, he could feel his body gripping the sink and moving his head but was not able to control those actions. Then he heard it, a thick deep manly voice with a Latino accent in it.

“Is everything okay?” Luke asked again as he took a step closer to the sink.

"J-Javier," Nathan stammered in a low, almost inaudible tone, his voice now laced with a heavy Spanish accent. "My name is… Javier."

Luke felt a stab of guilt twist in his gut as he watched Nathan’s memories and identity slip away, replaced by the persona the potion was molding. "What are you talking about, Nathan? Don’t play with me,” said Luke as he took another step forward. But as Nathan tilted his head up, Luke saw the same purple and emerald green shimmer in the mirror reflection of Nathan’s eyes as it vanished once more. “Nathan, no… Stop playing with me, say something," Luke said again, with a concerned look.

Javier shook his head, still trembling from the lingering pain. "No… I’m Javier, I’m… your bro... Nathan… getting hard to control... Ja… I can’t fight… Javier’s stronger… I feel… everything… Help me… I…."

Luke’s breath caught in his throat as he realized the full extent of what he had done. Nathan was being erased from reality in favor of this new Javier identity—someone entirely different, molded by Luke’s subconscious desires and the power of the potion.

Luke tried to find a way to stop this, as he didn’t want it to go this far, but Javier was already stronger than what was left of Nathan’s mind, his new body fully formed. He felt a warm tingling around his crotch as the dust left from his previous attire started to agglomerate and create a floral swim short, the fabric barely containing his newly enlarged cock. The dust then moved around his neck and wrist as it turned into necklace and a bracelet before going on his right forearm where it agglomerated under his skin to form an intriguing tattoo design shimmering with purple and green before fading to a neutral black and grey. He looked at Luke with a mix of camaraderie and newfound confidence before scratching his balls and putting his cock in place and moved closer to Luke.

"Bro, I’ve gotta get back to work. Always nice meeting fans, even more when they are as sexy as you. Hope you enjoyed this moment as much as I did." Javier said, his accent thick and natural as he kissed tenderly Luke on the cheek and adjusted his thickening erection contained in his way to short shorts.

Before Luke could respond, Javier pushed open the door and stepped out of the bathroom into the bar. Instead of finding it busy with college guys drinking and cheering on a football match, Luke was assaulted by thumping bass, guys cheering, pulsating lights dancing on the walls, and what looked like a stage with a pole dance bar on it. Javier strutted onto the stage, the crowd cheering as he began to dance, his every movement a testament to his new identity.

Luke stood frozen in the bathroom, the weight of his actions crashing down on him. He had wanted to get rid of Nathan, but he hadn’t anticipated the cost: the loss of his friend and the creation of a new reality where Javier now existed in his place.

As he staggered out of the very busy club, a woman dressed in a sharp black suit appeared beside him with a martini glass in her hand, her eyes gleaming with unsettling wisdom.

"You did well," she said, her voice filled with dark satisfaction. "Javier will thrive here. He was made for this life."

Luke’s stomach churned with guilt and regret as he realized the woman was the one he had met at the bar, except this time she looked much younger than when they met the day before. "How is it possible? How are you so young?” Luke asked in a surprised and intrigued way. The women only took a sip of her glass with a faint smile and her skin started to glow before starting to tighten around her face. In a mere instant she looked a couple of years younger, now being in her early 40’s.

“You see,” she started to talk in a calm way, “if there is something you can’t stop, it’s time. But fortunately, I found plenty of years ago a way to buy some. You didn’t only force your best friend in an unwilling life, no… You gave me all the happy years he could have gotten. And let me tell you, they are … tasty!” she finished as she took another sip.

Luke realized that she wasn’t drinking martini but Nathan’s life force: “But… it wasn’t supposed to go this far. I wanted him to change in order to get Abby, not turn him into… this for you to take everything from him. You said all I had to do was think about what my heart desired. I didn’t want that; he is my best friend, and I’m not a monster. I didn’t mean for it to go this far. I wanted him out of the picture, that’s all. Not erasing him from existence and my life."

The woman’s smile was cold, almost pitiful, as she began in a serious, very calm tone. "You got what you wanted, Luke. Nathan is not a problem anymore, and you are finally able to be with Abby. For the transformation, though, I never said Nathan would transform into what your heart desired. I said he would transform into what the master of the potion wanted, and you were never the master. It was me all along. And what I really needed was a new gay Latino Gogo dancer for my club. Now, thanks to you, Javier belongs to me. He will dance here, night after night, for as long as I wish. And you… you must live with the consequences of your actions. See? Everybody respected their promises. But I’m not a monster. Nathan is still alive; he just doesn’t have the game control anymore. Think of him like a VIP passenger on the cruise that is his life now."

Luke turned and looked back at the stage, where Javier was lost in the rhythm of the music as men of all ages were throwing money bills at him. His body moved with a confidence that had never been Nathan’s as he grabbed his tight swim short and started to remove it in front of everyone, letting his manly Latino cock out for everyone to enjoy the view. The reality of what Luke had done settled heavily in his chest.

As the woman turned to go back into her club, Luke grabbed her arm, desperation in his voice. "Who are you? Why are you doing this?"

She pulled her arm free with a calm, calculated grace. "I am the owner of this club. And this is how I recruit my dancers: through the greed, envy, and lust of men like you."

Luke’s eyes widened as the truth hit him. He had been manipulated, led down a path of destruction by his own darker impulses. And now, Nathan—no, Javier—was lost to him forever. As Luke was about to beg one more time for things to be returned to normal, he felt his phone in his pocket vibrate. As he took it out, he saw a picture of himself and Abby kissing on the beach. He opened the new message he had just received, only to read from Abby <3: “Where are you? It was movie night tonight. Did you forget? Come back, I miss you…”

Luke turned once again in the direction of the club and watched as the metallic door shut closed on the laughing woman before starting to morph into a thick brick wall, muting the music and the cheers of the customers. The club was gone forever, never to be seen again.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey everyone! As I mentioned before, I'll continue releasing new, refined versions of the stories I published before they were taken down.

I hope you enjoy this new version of Forbidden Love—I absolutely loved working on it.

As always, feel free to share your thoughts by sending me DMs or messages. Your likes and reports are much appreciated!

A big thank you to @tf-vigilante for helping with the pictures.

Let me know if you'd like a continuation of this story, or any of the others I've posted. Don't hesitate to send me your ideas—I always enjoy reading them, and I'll do my best to bring your vision to life.

Until then, take care of yourselves, and see you real soon with more new content! ;)

#male transformation #my writing #mental change #personality change #male tf #reality change #tf #straight to gay #dumber #jockification #gay transformation #wish gone wrong #gay

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floorbe · 6 months ago

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hihi!! i was wondering about something in BG3.

i have tattoos. two on my wrists (one's a moth and the other a pretty mushroom), and a thirteen inch tattoo along my back of the phases of the moon.

how would Astarion react to seeing his lover's tattoos? the scared part of my mind feels like he'd be offended, but i'd also like to think that tattoos are a way for me to take control of my own self and feel in control of my own body again, and he'd see that.

so... what's your verdict??

great question anon!! also ur tatts sound so sick omg... ive been wanting to get one lmfao

-When he first meets you he may insult them out of his own frustration. Why do you get to fuck up your body however you want when he can't even stand in the sunlight he longs for? It's unfair.

-Unfair that you get to do what you want. Unfair that you got to choose what was carved into your skin when he-- ah. There's the root.

-The insults die down the longer you travel together and the closer you two become. As he starts to realize that he can take himself back (and when he realizes that you respect him-- when was the last time he'd felt that?) he sees your tattoos as less of a slight against him and more of a... possibility?

-After a while, you'll instead catch him studying your tattoos when he thinks you aren't looking. This is when the change between insulting your tattoos to complimenting them begins.

-Once past his own frustrations, Astarion would be very supportive! We've seen him when you get Loviatar's blessing- this guy is all for pain and reward (though mostly the pain)!

-He will 100% force you to take him with you to your next tattoo session just to watch and cheer. Wince for him, would you? It's terribly boring watching someone get drawn on, throw him a bone!

-(Nevermind the fact that he was the one who insisted on coming along, but who is Astarion if not dramatic?)

-As much as he supports your decision and regularly tells you how utterly delectable your inked skin looks ("Gods, your skin practically glows in the moonlight, dear... Might I have a nibble? Just to see if it tastes as delicious as you look, of course."), a part of him still feels... bitter.

-He'll feel a bit bittersweet about it if it's a sentimental tattoo you've gotten, but even moreso if it was an impulse or fun decision.

-A part of him will always long to decorate his own body to his own wants- to finally get what he likes on himself. He wants the choice to fuck up his own body if he wants to.

-...He isn't ready for that quite yet, though. Tattoos remind him too much of the runes already on his back- particularly the pain aspect. He's heard you describe the sensation and isn't keen to try it out just yet.

-Don't be fooled, this doesn't mean he won't let you draw up some designs for him. In fact-- he'll demand you to draw a picture of some ideas for him- he must see what you've thought up for him! What do you think would decor him well?! Make him even more beautiful? Oh, you must show him!

-If you offer to actually tattoo him he'll wave you off playfully with a comment on "my skin is flawless already-- why tarnish it?" or a "darling, you wound me... here I thought you loved me for me"

-Not yet, it seems. But one day, you're both sure, he'll take you up on it.

-He already lives out his dreams of living in the sunlight through you- and his dreams of being a hero, being publicly adored, powerful... why shouldn't he live out this part of himself through you, too?

-At least until he's ready for his own tattoo. Which, based on how he's been eying your ink for the past week and rubbing his own wrist, seems sooner than you think.

#bg3 #astarion x reader #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 x reader #baldurs gate 3 #astarion ancunin #astarion

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requiemofthewinds · 4 months ago

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TITANIUM : VIKTOR X M!READER

you have osteoporosis, and all your life, you’ve been treated as less than human. because they think you’re weak, not strong enough to live as a normal human. you’re also mute, which makes it a lot harder to ask for what you want, and people can’t understand you. it's frustrating, really. recently, you’ve found relief in shimmer, you’ve finally been able to move as anyone else could, even if you know it’s not good for you. but then, you meet viktor, and for once, you’re treated as an actual human, and nothing less.

cw | | chronic pain, ableism, drugs, mentions of suicide and self-harm

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Piltover is pretty inclusive, all things considered. Most buildings are wheelchair accessible, and able to be accessed by the majority of people. However, being mute makes it all that much harder when they don’t have accessibility for the disabled. You usually have to figure it out yourself, or wait for someone else to come along to help you. You hate it so much, feeling like you’re so much less than everyone else.

Zaun however, is a lot different. One of your parents is from Piltover, and the other from Zaun, so you spent a lot of time going back and forth between the two cities. The Lanes are much more unforgiving than the streets of Piltover. The children, and even adults never had any tolerance for you. In Zaun, you were supposed to be unafraid; strong, to make it. And the thing is; you were. You are strong, unafraid, and so much more. But no one ever saw that. All they saw was a boy who couldn’t fend for himself, but you never got the chance to show it, because no one gave you a chance before babying you. And you are sick and tired of being babied.

You’ve found solace in Shimmer, even though you know how bad it is for you. You see why people take it– the rush, the high, the adrenaline. The buzz in the back of your brain, the way you can move faster, you don’t need your cane, you can run, you can be free.

Going to Singed has been a little too normal these days, but you find it the only thing that helps. When Councilor Talis was added to the council, you expected him to make changes to help people, like he said. But it turns out, the people he is helping don’t include you or the undercity. As you left Singed’s lab, you were surprised to see a familiar face. You just barely recognized him, but you were pretty sure it was Councilor Talis’s lab partner, Viktor, was it? You weren’t going to try to get his attention, but it turns out you caught him.

“ Excuse me? ”

You turn back to look at him.

“ Are you alright? You seem rather… out of it. It’s dangerous around here. Have to keep your head on a swivel, and all that. ”

You hesitate before your hands start to move. No, not really.

───── ⋆⋅✙⋅⋆ ─────

Who knew, all it took was just one person asking if you’re okay for you to completely unravel. In front of a stranger, at that. This shouldn’t be happening. You don’t even know the guy, but here you are, sitting at a café with him, just talking about anything and everything. It’s been far too long since you’ve been able to talk about this. Or talk to, period. It’s rare enough to come across someone who knows sign language, let alone be patient enough to stay with you through it.

When you’re upset, your hands move faster, but somehow, he still keeps up. Nodding at all the right times and responding with exactly what you need to hear. It’s like you’ve finally found someone who actually understands you.

Not just listens,

but actually

listens.

Sometimes, I just wish I could go to sleep and never wake up. Because maybe then, the pain would all go away. I could be free. I could fly. I could be on the edge of a cliff, waiting for the right moment when everything is still and I can let the next gust of wind take me forward, where I can just leave this world. Maybe that would be easier than people trying to trip me when I walk down the streets or the Fissures.

“ That’s a lot to hold in. It must feel nice to get all of this out, yes? ”

Yes. Very. Thank you for listening to me. Or watching, rather.

“ I’m glad to hear that. I want you to know that you’re not alone in this, there are tons of people who can support you in this. I could be one of those people, if you’d like, but there are many groups that can help and listen as I did. So many of us just suffer in silence, and there are easier ways out than taking your own life or Shimmer, or self harm. I want to help you, if you’d let me, pěvec. ”

If you weren’t crying before, you certainly are now. No one’s ever been there for you like Viktor has for you in the last hour. You never thought you’d be able to find someone that could care so dearly for you, not even your parents ever gave you this kind of love.

“ You are stronger than you know, pěvec. People may tell us that we don’t deserve a place in this world, but we are stronger than any of them will ever be. They may never know the pain we have to live with, but that does not mean that we cannot prove ourselves to them. We are the most resilient out of any of them, and you can show them that. They may tell you that you are made of glass– fragile, but every time they shoot you down, you get right back up–

you are strong. ”

──────────────────────────────

#📌 ꒱﹒ 𝖘𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖑𝖊𝖙 𝖕𝖊𝖙𝖆𝖑𝖘 ﹒⟢#arcane fic #arcane x male reader #viktor x male reader #arcane viktor x male reader #arcane x you #arcane #fanfic #viktor x reader #chronic illness

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tanghuyuj · 6 months ago

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accident ! ⋆｡°✩

pairing: han jihoon x gn!reader

genre: fluff. sickening fluff.

synopsis: jihoon accidentally calls you and.. confesses? luckily, for him, you like him just the same!

wc: ~0.9k

maia’s note: okay so this is unexpected.. guess who’s getting into tws !! me !! and i am falling down bad for jihoon. def wasn’t expecting to release another work this year but here we are. i wrote this kinda quickly and only skimmed thru it once after writing it so i’m sorry if there are any mistakes 😓. also, there are no warnings! enjoy reading! reblogs and likes are always appreciated!!

you were spread out on your bed like a starfish, or, a sea star—as a scientist would say. staring at your room’s ceiling as if there was something so incredibly interesting about it. there wasn’t, but there was with your rapidly beating heart.

what wonderful event happened to make your heart race like this?

—

it started as a normal day. actually, you would say it was quite great. since it was the weekend, you slept in and even better, you slept in just the right amount. no messing up your sleep schedule, while still being able to feel well rested.

you got up, washed up, and did a few chores around the house. after finishing your duties and eating a hearty dinner, you got a call from your good friend, han jihoon.

except this isn’t a good friend in your eyes, and when you happened to get this call, you panicked. no really—you’re hands we’re shaking.

but this must sound so silly. isn’t he just a boy? a boy, who’s a friend. that’s all!

however, this is no regular boy to you. this is han jihoon. a boy who you have liked for years—a boy that you are most definitely, not normal around.

you took a long, deep breath. your shaking thumb pressed on the green answer button.

you jumped at the immediate shout coming from your phone before putting him on speaker.

“KYUNGMIN! what do i dooo?” he sounded frustrated. he also thought you were.. kyungmin? what?

he doesn’t stop there and continues to chatter.

“i like yn so much.. it’s only been what? a day since i’ve seen them? why do i miss them already? aghhh whyy!” he lets out a groan of irritation.

your jaw drops. genuine shock displays on your face. you forgot how long you stayed like that but it certainly was for a while.

“hellooo kyungmin?”

jihoon’s voice snaps you back into reality.

“um.. jihoon? i think you have the wrong number.”

a wave of silence passes until it gets interrupted by a sudden beep. he hung up.

you’re frozen in your place, recalling each and every word he said. could this really be? will your crush on jihoon bear gifts of love and happiness instead of a painful and confusing limerence? will you cross the finish line in celebration after a long marathon of pining and treasuring even the shortest moments you have together?

wait. you shouldn’t get ahead of yourself. nothing is even official yet so what are you thinking?

you take a seat at your desk and ponder on what action to take next. hold on.. do you even make the next move? is the ball in your court or his?

you make the decision, at least in your mind, that the ball is still in his court. he was the one who started this, shouldn’t he be the one to finish it?

you lay your phone down on the table in front of you, staring at it as if lasers were shooting out of your eyes.

after.. how long was it? around 5 minutes? the call came in.

a wide smile had been plastered on your face until you caught yourself, clearing your throat.

you slowly picked up your phone and once again, pressed the glowing, green button. you lifted the device to your ear.

that was obviously a mistake though as a loud voice spoke out of it, startling you.

“YN! hahaha.. i’m so sorry! can you like, maybe, um, forget about that? i really thought it was kyungmin, it was purely a mistake!”

you couldn’t hold back your smile anymore. “jihoon, don’t worry about it.”

he quickly drew to a conclusion after hearing your one sentence. “okay.. that’s great! we can still be friends after this, right?”

“jihoon you’re so stupid sometimes, goodness gracious,” you grinned.

there was a silence on the other end. you pictured him furrowing his eyebrows, mouth slightly open.

“i like you too. can’t you see?” you said a bit hesitantly, fingers playing with the ends of your sweater.

“wait, what? you what?”

you press your lips into a thin line. “i like you. how many times do i have to say it?”

it seems like your words have finally been processed fully through his brain as he starts chuckling. “wow.. you like me..” he said in disbelief.

“and you like me too. don’t forget that i heard your call,” you hum, “you also said that you.. what was it? missed me? didn’t we see each other just yesterday?”

he whines, “i can’t believe i accidentally called you.. i swear the contact said kyung..”

“you thought wrong,” you said teasingly, dragging out the last word.

jihoon lets out a huff before starting, “does this mean we’re dating now?”

you frown, “you never asked me out? is chivalry dead?”

he hums, “i don’t want to ask you out on call though.” a beat skips. “are you doing anything right now?”

your eyes widen, looking down at your distressed self. you’ve been home all day, not making much of an effort to clean up your appearance.

“um.. i guess not?” you said slowly.

he exclaims, “okay! i’m on my way!”

panic washes over you. “woah, woah, woah! not so fast! also.. do you even know my address?” you stammer, “actually, nevermind. let’s just meet tomorrow, in the afternoon?”

you can feel a sense of disappointment through the screen. “okay.. that’s just more time to prepare, right?” he replies.

“yeah,” you smile.

“see you tomorrow, yn,” he giggles, “or should i say future partner?”

you feel your smile stretch even wider, if that was even possible. “okay, future partner. see you tomorrow,” you laughed before hanging up.

you stand up just to flop onto your bed, body hitting the soft cushiony surface as you laid there, spread out like a sea star with a rapid beating heart.

please DO NOT repost, copy, or translate.

#tws x reader #tws jihoon #tws #tws fluff #jihoon fluff #jihoon x reader #han jihoon #han jihoon tws #tws han jihoon #kpop fluff #tws imagines #tws scenarios #kpop x reader #tws fanfic #tws fic #accident !#tanghuyuj.. works !

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imissivan · 6 months ago

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so i think in every universe that’s not the present one, ivantill is requited openly and goofy and sometimes still repressed and bad at communicating, but however long it takes, they find each other. but i have to admit. what they’ve gone through — the lack of freedom, happiness, the total lack of human social networks, not even not being raised by humans but the total absence in their lives of humans who connect with humans AS HUMANS — rather than as human pets — it prevents ivan and till AND mizi and sua from forming relationships like we think of them. yknow? mizi and sua are much more open about their regard for each other, because of mizi’s unique character and situation, the level of innocence she’s able to retain. but the rest of them know what’s going on. the pain of that existence stunts what possibilities are available to them. in that environment, they do what they must to survive — which means ivan keeping his feelings under tight control and accepting his fate to yearn and never have; till deeply, deeply repressing whatever he feels for ivan bc mizi represents innocence and a hope for a joyful, free life that has been denied to all of them; sua not connecting with anyone besides mizi, marching to her death without consulting mizi bc it’s all she can think to offer. the circumstances of this universe are such that it’s nearly impossible for healthy or full human relationships to form. for children destined for alien stage — for whom growing old is already a distant dream, much less growing old with someone they love by their side — it’s even less likely. this is also what makes these relationships that DO form despite the circumstances so damn powerful and compelling — the time mizi and sua get to share (mizi crying with frustration when they drift apart when they’re so little) — the stability that ivan and till’s bond provides, even if it is volatile and characterized by miscommunications and misunderstandings. for me, with ivantill, it’s key that it’s NOT totally unrequited — the feelings till has for ivan are confused and unexamined, but like, i don’t blame till for that! he’s got plenty to worry about already, and the circumstances of the garden also exacerbate ivan’s struggles to communicate and understand his feelings properly, too. loving gently and warmly and out in the open like mizi does does not come naturally or at all to ivan in this world! and that adds barriers between ivan and till. but they still care for each other so much — till does look back, there are moments of tenderness, of ivan being different for till than other ppl, of till treating ivan differently, which along w the narrative structure and their relationship paralleling mizi and sua’s and so on, express a deep regard for ivan that goes mostly unexpressed / is made difficult by their situation.

but then!!! you look at the goddamn AUs and shit!!!! and one, look at ivan’s character — outside of the trauma of alien stage, he’s so much more open and soft and loving! to till, specifically — able to get his attention and form a relationship not just based on proximity or thru antagonizing him. that’s very important, in my eyes, to making ivantill work. it’s something ivan can’t do in alien stage, that kind of open expressive love, but if he could, i think it would present him as a viable option for love in till’s eyes (as much as such a thing can exist in that world). like at the bare minimum, till would KNOW — whether ivan confesses or not — that ivan loves him, be more aware or sure of that. ivan can express affection or admiration for till in the open, at times when till’s not asleep or distracted or whatever.

second, till is also different! mizi is not the only source of warmth and happiness in an otherwise bleak and deeply painful, abusive life. without those incredibly challenging circumstances forcing till into survival mode, he has more options for how he can imagine his life, relationships, and express himself. he doesn’t have to put his whole being into loving the one person who expresses warm love as a survival mechanism to keep inspiring himslf to live. instead, he can observe and better understand ivan. and ivan is also less difficult to understand, himself better at expressing himself. with fewer thorny barriers between the two complicating their attitudes towards one another, the two can be friends, best friends, without complication — and thus also more. and i feel like i can’t ever stop thinking about the biggest barrier to their relationship in the alien stage world, the lack of examples of loving human relationships. how do you know what it means to love someone, if you have never seen it? never felt it? i think about this on a queer level, too — took me forever to figure out that i DO feel certain kinds of attraction differently towards different kinds of people, that i do feel it at all, bc at first, i only had 1 narrow example of what romantic or sexual attraction could be. without examples of other possibilities, it never occurred to me that what i was feeling counted. and that’s still with and understanding of any concept of love or romantic relationship!! poor ivan and till are out there fuckin tryna invent human social networks from scratch, RIP

this has been such a long stream of consciousness thinking about these guys so i just want to mention one final thing.

THE GODDAMN ACTOR AU.

they can be platonic OF COURSE. but the depth of emotion and their bond and everything in the other universes — to me, actor AU is the healthiest and easiest and sweetest universe in which the two of them get together. they’re not in each others lives from childhood, and it works in their favor acrually — they’re both fully realized humans, who have lots of chemistry, who deeply admire each others abilities, have similar interests — if we can bring the knowledge of their dynamic and the depth of their bond from the alien stage world to consider what they’d be like together in the actor AU, like 🥹🥹🥺🥺🥺🥺. an open and confident and loving ivan. a mature and expressive and affectionate till. they’re at their best in actor AU, and it’s that AU that really settled my brain into “shipping these two forever and ever” mode. because it can’t happen in their original universe — not without huge changes and a lot of time, like even if they both escaped with their lives, they would need time to heal and grow into their own people before they could really have a health relationship. but in actor AU 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 what they have and can have in actor AU 🥺🥺🥺🥺 gives us a glimpse at what they could be, if they got that time, if they got that chance. what they can be in every other universe, whenever they get that chance. AHHHHH i just love them so freaking much

#ivantill #ramblings #long read #alien stage #till #ivan #ivantill almost #almost #alien stage ivan #alien stage till

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scribblesofagoonerr · 1 year ago

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Ice cream might as well cure my depression | Inner Demons

⟫ Alphabet Challenge, I - Ice cream might as well cure my depression

Pairings: leah williamson x teen reader, arsenal wfc x teen reader

"There you are," Leah exhales a sigh of relief as she walks into the medical room where she found you lay on the one of the medical beds with Katie sat beside you, as one of the medical staff accessed the damage on your bloody and bruised hands. "Oh my God, what happened?!" she questions, horrified as she sets her eyes on the scene in front of her.

"Found the kiddo taking her anger out on the wall," Katie chuckles slightly and shaking her head.

"Spoiler alert, the wall won," You murmer sarcastically from where you lay on the bed, trying to inject a bit of humour into the tense atmosphere, although the pain in your voice was still evident.

"What?" Leah repeats in atonishment at the news of what happened before she crouches down to kneel in front of you. "Oh bubs, why would you do that?" she questions, her initial shock turning into concern.

"Don't know, guess I just felt angry about everything. I feel like I'm not even allowed to make my own decisions now," You admitted your true feelings about things. "I guess I just didn't think and just lashed out."

Leah exhales another sigh and lightly brushes her thumb over your broken skin, "That must hurt a fair bit, huh?" she wonders.

Trying to not flinch at the contact, you bite your bottom lip and shake your head, "Nah, it barely hurts at all," You mumble, gritting your teeth.

"Liar," Katie chimes in amusedly, moving her hand to try and poke your hand to get your reaction.

"Okay, alright. I lied, it hurts like a mother--" You start to say as you're cut off.

"Don't even think about finishing that sentence the way I think you're about to do, Y/F/N!" Leah tells you in a stern tone of voice, but its' one that you're all too used to now.

"Trucker," You playfully grin at the older blonde.

The blonde pinches the bridge of her nose and shakes her head, "You really are insufferable sometimes, bubs," she mutters before she turns her attention to the medic in the room. "So, do we know what's the damage then?" she questions, her voice sounding more serious than previously.

"Well, the x-ray shows it's not broken, but just bruised instead," The medic reports to Leah. "My recommendations are ice and elevation to reduce the swelling." They add on.

"Great, now I really can't play football after all, can I?" You question, sighing in frustration but you know you only have yourself to blame for this happening now.

"Guess not, I'm afraid bubs," Leah replies sympathetically in agreement.

"Wonderful," You mumble under your breath, now you really didn't have any choice but to not be able to play football.

"I'm sorry, I know this isn't what you wanted kiddo," Katie sympathsises with you, gently resting her hand on your shoulder.

"My own fault though, weren't it?" You ask rhetorically, although you still can't help but huff in annoyance about the situation.

Leah's gaze softens, "You know we're gonna need to go back in there and speak to Jonas, Kim and the rest of the staff still, don't you?" she reminds you.

"Yeah, I sorta guessed that," You mumble, exhaling a sigh.

"And you need to apologise for running out of there, as well, please?" Leah requests gently.

"Seriously?" You raise an eyebrow and resist the urge to scoff, however, seeing the look that Leah had on her face, it made you back down. "Fine, alright, whatever. Can we still get ice cream after this though?"

The blonde rolls her eyes at the mention of food, "Just as long as you don't go back in the meeting and blow up, then yes we can still go and get ice cream" she tells you in agreement, a small smile playing on her lips.

"Relax, I won't. I'm much more calmer now," You reassure her, shrugging her shoulders carelessly.

"Really? Cos' you just take your anger out on a wall. That doesn't really scream out 'fine' to me," Katie snickers, reminding you ever so kindly about the disagreement you had with the wall.

"I had my reasons!" You defend yourself over what happened.

"Right, come on. Lets' just head back in there and see what else needs to be said," Leah steers the conversation back on track with a firm but supportive tone of voice.

"No chance to escape out the side door?" You attempt to crack a joke with the blonde.

"Nope, not a chance. Come on bubs, it'll be fine," Leah reassures you, sending you a gentle and warm smile as you both head back to the room where you previously bolted before.

"We're back, sorry about that," Leah is the first to speak up and address the room of people that are awaiting your return.

You feel awkward walking into the room, you really hadn't mean to storm out in the way that you did.

Completely forgetting that you needed to apologise, you feel a slight nudge in your ribs, "Ow. What the--" Seeing the stern look from the blonde makes you remember what needed to be said. "Oh yeah, uh... I... I uh, I'm sorry for storming out like that. It weren't right and I apologise," You muster up the courage to apologise to them all sat around the large table.

"That's okay, Y/N. We can understand it's a lot to take in so far," Jonas nods in understanding, motioning to an empty chair. "Please, take a seat and we can continue with the meeting." he states.

Kim's eyes immediately are drawn to your knuckles as she furrows her eyebrows in concern, "Kid, what happened to your knuckles?" she questions.

"Oh uh that was just a disagreement with the wall," You give your captain a wry smile as you hold up your bruised hand. "Let's just say that the wall won this round."

"Y/N, we can understand what you're going through must be difficult and we want you to have the time to step back and focus on that," Jonas speaks up with a gentle tone of voice, his concern being evident.

You wonder if Leah can sense your uneasiness about the topic of conversation as she reaches out to gently take a hold of your hand, "It's okay, bubs. I've got you." she whispers quietly to reassure you that she's still there.

"What you've been through-- What you're going through is a lot to deal with, a challange, especially at your age." Jonas continues to speak his thoughts aloud. "As a club, we want to be able to help you in way that we can. So we have brought in a therapist, someone that you will be able to talk too--"

"Whoa, whoa, hold up!" You hold up your hand to cut your coach off from his concerned speel of speech. "A shrink... You want me to talk to a shrink?" You stutter in disbelief.

"Y/N--" Kim attempts to speak.

You whip your head round as you stare at the unfamiliar women in the room, "Wait, is this who this woman is?" You question, looking between all of the adults in the room.

"Bubs, just calm down," Leah chimes in, sensing your upset feelings very clearly right now.

"I'm a therapist actually," The unfamiliar women cuts in the conversation. "My name is Helen, it's nice to meet you properly, Y/N." she introduces herself.

You can't help but scoff lightly and shake your head, "You can call yourself whatever you want, I'm not talking to you," You state stubbornly, a bad trait of yours but who were you to just open up your feelings to this women? You didn't even know her, and now everyone thinks they have an opinion of what to do, who you should speak too?

It's your life, why can't people just let you live it the way that you want?

"It's bad enough that I already had to go through this talking to someone bullshit when I was on my spontaneous holiday," You snap in anger, you really didn't like this one bit.

"Holiday?" Jonas questions, confusion evident in his voice.

"She means when she was detained," Leah deadpans, shooting you a look.

"Yeah, sure, whatever, I was held in a psych ward against my own will, call it whatever the hell you want!" You fling your arms around in the air, feeling yourself getting worked up and you really fight hard against the idea of bolting out the room again. "I don't care who you are, shrink or therapist, I'm not talking to you."

"Y/N, come on. Please at least try and be open with Helen," Kim tries to reason with you. "You know that we just want to help you."

"Bubs, it might be good for you to talk to her," Leah chimes in with a gentle but still firm tone of voice.

"I'm only here for you to talk too," Helen, your new therapist pipes in with her ever so cheerful voice and that's something you are definitely not a fan off.

"I guess I don't have much choice, either way, do I?" You slump your shoulders in realisation about the whole situation.

"Well..." Jonas hesitates to speak.

"Cut the bullshit, Jonas," You cut him off as the frustration begins to bubble up to the surface.

"Y/N!" Kim chides you.

"Language, Y/N!" Leah adds in.

"Geesh, calm down, Captain America," You mutter, rolling your eyes as you slump back against the chair you're sitting on.

"Y/N," Leah reprimands, shooting you a stern look.

"In order for you to return to the pitch, we as a club believe it's important that you attend these therapy sessions," Jonas continues his explanation, giving you all of his attention. "Until you have attended them, we think it might be best if you step back from training and games until you're in a better place."

"Right, so I really don't have much of a choice then after all," You mutter, the realisation hitting you clear on. "How many?"

"How many?" Kim repeats, confused.

"How many sessions of therapy do I need to partake in before I'm cleared to take part in training and games again?" You wonder, curiously.

If that's what it took to get you back on the pitch, then you'd fake a smile and spill whatever words that this so call shrink wanted to hear you tell her, if it meant getting back on the pitch then what's you would do.

"As many as it takes, Y/N. Healing has no time limit," The ever so annoying therapist in your opinion spoke up at the moment. "Once you attend the first session, we can begin to work and create a plan with set goals for your future." she explains in a irritating perky voice.

"Yep, so I really don't have much choice at all, that's wonderful," You murmer under your breath as you try and slump down further in your seat if that's at all possible.

Kim pinches the bridge of her nose and shakes her head, "Your sass is too much right now," she states.

"Haven't you missed me? I'm a delight to be around!" You cheekily grin at your captain, trying to mask your true feelings about it all.

"We get that you may not be happy with the decisions, Y/N, but as a club, we all believe this is what will help you the most," Jonas explains to you, trying to defuse the tension in the room.

"What would help me would be allowing me to play football," You remark, letting your frustration show.

"Anything apart from that," Another member of the staff chimes in, amusedly.

"I think when I preffered in I was in the pysch ward after all," You can't help but make the sarcastic comment about things, like your usual way to cope with things head on.

"Y/N!" Leah exclaims in disbelief, scowling at you.

"What? I like dark humour, sue me," Shrugging your shoulders carelessly, you turn and look at the blonde women. "So, can we go and get ice cream now? Cos' you promised after all."

Leah let's out a small laugh and shakes her head, ""Seriously, bubs? You and your obsession with ice cream." She states in amusement.

"You can't go back on a promise, Le," You remind her, having the blonde wrapped around your finger.

You were happy enough to sit in a small shop, enjoying the ice cream as promised, although your attempt to lighten the mood with a joke didn't go a miss with Leah, she noted the pain behind your eyes straight away.

The blonde frowns in concern as she sits at the table opposite you, "Bubs, I know you're trying to mask how you really feel. I can tell that you're holding back. Tell me how you really feel, please?" she asks.

You swirl your spoon around the pot of ice cream in your hand and do your best to avoid Leah's gaze for a moment before finally sighing, "I guess... I guess that I'm just frustrated, Le. The whole therapy, I hate talking to people like them, but it's like I don't even have a choice now when I can't go back on the pitch until I speak to her," You admit your feelings, exhaling another sigh. "I guess I didn't help matters either by lashing out at the wall."

"I get how you feel bubs," Leah nods sympathetically, reaching out to gently place her own hand in yours. "I know it hurts, but just remember that we're all doing this because we care about you so much-- I care about you so much, your like my own kid, you know despite the age difference, but you know, finding you like that in the way that I did, I felt scared and I thought I was going to loose you. I don't ever want to feel like that again."

Swallowing the lump that forms in your throat, you peer up slightly to try and hold off the tears from escaping, "I'm sorry... I'm sorry that I scared you like that," You whisper quietly, never fully realising how other people must have felt to see you that way. "I... I love you, Le. I'm glad that I have you around to take care of me."

"I love you too, bubs... So, so much!" Leah replies as she squeezes your hand reassuringly, "Even if I have to put up with your obsession with ice cream and dark humour. I know it's hard to accept the help, but you're not alone in this. I'm here with you every single step of the way, okay?" She tells you.

"Thanks, Le," You manage a small smile, feeling a bit lighter with the blondes' support and words. "I guess I can try and keep an open mind about this therapy thing." You state, shrugging your shoulders.

"That's all I ask my girl," Leah replies, smiling warmly at you. "I know it'll be hard, but you're strong enough to handle it and you're not ever going to be alone." She adds.

#woso x reader #woso fanfics #arsenal x reader #woso imagine #woso one shot #arsenal women x reader #arsenal wfc x reader #leah williamson x reader #heavy angst

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itsalwaysteatimeinwonderland · 10 months ago

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Finding Peace pt.13: Wanting (Spike x y/n)

Requested: Nope. Just part 13.

Summary: Destiny or free will?

TW: none

Word Count: 2.7k

Previous | Next

__________________________________________________

Lazy mornings with you were Spike’s new favorite thing. Since the kissing incident it feels like you two are connected. On the same page. He feels immersed in you, finally. He may not have your body, but he definitely had your mind; and steadily, your heart. He laid awake staring at you while you slept. He took in your figure, your soft breath. He felt like he could write a million poems just at this moment. He felt like William when he was around you, not Spike. And sometimes he hated it. For you to have so much power over him was unbelievable. However, when you look at him, brush your hand against his, he doesn’t care who he is as long as he’s with you.

You stir awake and catch Spike staring at you.

“Didn’t we have a conversation about this?”

He simply smiles. “I can’t help myself.”

You cover your face in the hopes of hiding your blushing cheeks. You move to get out of bed but Spike snakes his arms around you, pulling you closer.

“Stay.” He whispers in your ear.

You a shiver runs down your spine. You sigh. Having this unspoken contract of intimacy was going to be your death. You enjoyed every hug, touch, whisper but you couldn’t shake out of your head what the oracle said. Time with Spike did not seem real. It did not seem yours.

You lay in his arms comfortably. This was a daily occurrence, and you pretended to not like it.

After several minutes of breathing together, your heartbeat beating a soft rhythm for him to hear, he lets you go. You’re quick to get ready to leave the house, which confuses Spike.

“Where’s the fire?” He asks.

“I have to get down to The Magic shop. I have to read the cure of the spell again. I feel like I missed something.”

Spike nods and you’re off. It seemed urgent that you get to the book, so you sprint down to the shop. What the oracle said has been swirling in your mind for days, especially after the kissing incident. Your soulmate. What an unacceptable answer you got. It was not what you wanted, but it was what you needed.

As soon as you enter the shop you demand to see the book. You thumb through the pages until you reach the page you were looking for.

“To release the curse of a love-stricken witch you must consult an oracle about your soulmate.” You sigh in frustration as you scan through all the unnecessary jargon. “On the sturgeon full moon you must sacrifice your soulmate and write the rune of protection over your heart with their blood.” Your eyes bulge at the instructions.

Sacrifice. That’s what it takes to break the curse. Murder. Reading it for a second time did not make you feel better. You slump back in your chair, defeated. There were two problems. The Sturgeon moon was in 10 days; and you couldn’t kill your soulmate.

Your rub your hands against your face, holding back tears. It was all so unfair. To gain your mortality you would have to take away the one person that meant something to you. Never mind that you wanted to get to know them, connect with them, maybe have a future. Sacrifice. The word rung in your brain like a painful echo.

You leave the shop defeated. You will never be mortal. You will never be free of this curse. Maybe someone can do it for you? You shake your head. How could you even entertain the idea. The book specified that it had to be you. And you would never take the life of an innocent for your own gain. More than that, you physically couldn’t do it. No matter how hard you tried.

You find yourself back home. Spike is watching tv in the living room. He looks up and sees your downcast demeanor. He quickly jumps from the sofa and makes his way to you. He holds you close.

“What’s wrong?”

It takes you a minute to decide if you want to tell Spike. But who else were you going to tell?

“For the curse to be broken I have to sacrifice my soulmate.” You say in a low voice.

Spike is surprised. He reaches for words but finds none. He holds you closer. Now he was anxious. What if it was him? Would you sacrifice him? He remembers that you can’t kill vampires and he breathes a breath of relief.

“What are you going to do?” He matches the tone of your voice.

“I can’t do it. I can’t kill my soulmate.”

You both stand there. The air is heavy. The tension is strong. You finally break away from Spike and sit on the couch, crushed. You made up your mind, you won’t go through with it. You will stay cursed for ever and that will have to do.

Spike sits next to you, worried. You choosing to not sacrifice your soulmate meant that you would be forever unreachable. Desolate and distant. The curse was what kept you from others, and now you were choosing a life of loneliness. He worried for your budding relationship.

“Who’s your soulmate?” Spike musters the courage to ask you.

You look at him, tears in your eyes. You open your mouth, but nothing comes out. You simply shake your head and put it in between your hands while you sob.

Spike rubs your back, whispering encouraging words. He didn’t get the answer he wanted. He wondered if he should continue to push the matter.

That night there was no patrolling. You went to bed early, quiet and small. Spike went to bed much later than you. He walked down to the cemetery to clear his head. The whole event had him frustrated. How could he reach you now if your main companion was always that damned curse. Was all his work for nothing?

He sat by a tombstone, pensive. He felt selfish and bad for having his own motives for her to break the curse, and yet he didn’t want you to break the curse. Breaking the curse would make you mortal but free to be his. Staying with the curse will keep you distant but immortal like him. Time with you would be infinite. He groaned in frustration as he got up and walked back to the house.

The next morning Spike woke up alone in your bed. You had snuck out earlier in the morning. He felt abandoned and alone. He didn’t know where you went but he believed it was best if he didn’t follow you.

You walked up the hill, down the cave through the perilous path all the way back to the oracle. You enter without fear and demand to know who your soulmate is.

The godly figure gives you the same answer and you scream in frustration. You demand a different answer. However, the oracle has removed you from their realm. You’re back at the path, angry and sad.

You slowly make your way back home. All the while pondering if you should tell Spike who your soulmate is. It’s not fair to him to not know. Not that it will change anything between you two. You were still holding strong at taking it slow. You wanted him so bad that it hurt. But you had to take his feelings into consideration. He may devote to you but he doesn’t know all that it entails to have a cursed life. He may want to leave once he sees that you’re nothing but a shell of a slayer.

You reach your house and as you open the door you catch a glimpse of Spike’s unclothed torso. You’re reminded of the night’s you guys share together. Intimate without physical intimacy. Sensual without sexual. You’re forever lost in who he is. And you hoped that after today, he will feel the same about you.

You call Spike to the living room. He doesn’t bother to get fully dressed. You remind yourself to breathe. No matter how many times you see his naked torso it will always make your breath labored and your muscles clench.

“What is it love?” He decides to stand, too anxious to sit. He covers it well.

“You asked. My soulmate.” You struggle to make coherent sentences. You were afraid. This was the moment of truth.

“Yes?” He bites his lip. Too keyed up to stay still. If he had a heart, it would be beating fast.

“It’s…William Pratt.” You say his government name.

Spike is shocked, elated, confused, excited. He is frozen in time. He didn’t know how to react. This is all he wanted but now that he has it he is afraid.

You sit there, waiting for a response. “Well…” You get up to face him.

He looks at you, dumbfounded. Deep down he knew it was him but it was not enough to be destined to be with her; he wanted her to choose him. All of him.

Without a word he grabs you by the waist and kisses you. He is passionate and deliberate. You’re surprised but involved. You kiss him back wanting this to be his only reaction to being tied down to you. You want him to want to be with you.

Spike was overwhelmed with emotion. Too many to name or to process. He wanted to show you how happy and accepting he was of these news the only way he knew how.

“I want you. Now.” He growls against your lips.

“What happened to taking it slow?” you’re lost in the moment. You want to hit the breaks but your accelerator was in high gear.

“Oh, I’ll take it slow.” He grabs you and picks you up bridal style. He walks you to the room and gently lays you down.

He climbs on top of you and claims your mouth again. You want this. Only this. Always this. He takes his time in undressing you and himself. He wants each contact of skin to skin to be new and exhilarating. Once you’re fully unclothed he sits back on his heels to take you in. His. Only His. All the while his erection is standing up and proud, ready to take you.

You reach out to touch his penis, but he bats your hand away.

“Slow.” He says in a low sensual voice.

He pulls your body closer to the edge of the bed. He kisses your inner thighs and he places your legs on either side of his head. He makes sure to leave love bites on your inner thighs, reminders for the next day. He wastes no time lapping at your folds begging for entrance. He is drunk on your scent. Desperate to be one with you. He finds your clit and gives it slow lazy licks. He makes sure to make your body arch with every contact. He chooses a circle motion as he swirls his tongue on your clit. His hands find your entrance and he lets himself in. You gasp as you feel full. Two fingers.

He pumps his fingers slowly, deliberately into you while he swirls his tongue on your sensitive bud. You’re insane with pleasure. White hot electricity courses through your veins. Endorphins drown your brain. You want more. Spike picks up the pace as if reading what you want. Your breath is labored. Your thoughts are scrambled. He feels you shaking, you’re close. He is relentless in his assault of your folds, bud and entrance.

Your body stops, desire shoots through you and you convulse in pure pleasure. You writhe as you work your high. All the while, Spike hasn’t stopped. He wants to taste all of you. This is what he wanted, and he’ll be damned if he’ll cheat himself out of this.

Once your body comes down from the high, you’re left gasping for air. Spike smiles and traces his name against your clit. Intentionally marking you as his.

“Mine.” He says as he comes up. He grabs his shirt from the floor and wipes his face.

You’re a sight to see. Naked, sultry, glistening with sweat. His dreams could never match the real thing. He climbs up to you to capture your lips. You taste yourself on his lips and tongue. He takes it slow, letting you enjoys the moment. You can feel his erection press against your belly.

“I want you.” You whisper against his lips. It was all you had to say to get his blood boiling with desire. It was all he ever wanted to hear you say to him.

He makes sure you’re set and comfortable before he aligns himself with your entrance. He wants to make sure that it’s right the first time. He wants you to remember this forever.

He spread your legs, looking down at the little love marks he left. He inches closer but stops. He looks up to you, wavering in his resolve. What if this was just a spurt of the moment thing. What if you weren’t ready.

“What’s wrong?” You ask.

“Do you want this. Do you want me?” He meant if she wanted not his body but him as he was. Him as the vampire. Him as a flawed soul.

You sit up and move closer to him. You take his hands into yours.

“Spike. I want you, all of you. I have wanted you since the first time we met. Fuck what the oracle says, I was always meant for you.”

Spike Is overtake with passion and emotions. He captures your mouth again. Rough and wanting. As he lowers you down, he aligns himself with your entrance. He slowly enters you. He stays still, letting you get used to his size. He wants this to be as pleasurable to you as it will be for him. He lays on top of you, his forearms at each side of your head. He thrusts into you with love and intention. He makes sure to keep as much eye contact as possible. He wants to remember this forever. He wasn’t to remember every move, every scent, every word.

He picks up the speed. Thrusting with more force, making you gasp and moan. He is sure to angle himself to hit the spot that he knew would make you sees stars. He continues to thrust into you, harder, with more precision. You’re climbing and getting higher in your pleasure. He is relentless and consistent. You’re begging him for release. Repeating his name like a chat. He debates on stopping, teasing you but he’s too involved to stop now. He is too far gone. He hits that one spot one last time and you’re flying. Your body arching from the bed, your words incoherent and broken. You’re seeing stars.

All the while Spike is still thrusting into you, chasing his own high. He debates if to cum inside of you. As you regain control you whisper in his ear to fill you up. You reiterate your nasty confession as you beg him to make you his. It doesn’t take long for Spike to find his own release after hearing your dirty words. He is grunting, moaning, almost writhing from the pleasure. Lovemaking had more power than just making sex.

You’re both spent and panting. Spike lays his forehead against yours. You share a knowing look of what this means. You both laugh in relief. Spike rolls off you and pulls you close to him. You lay your head on his chest content and spent.

Neither of you speaks for the rest of the night. You’re both relishing the intimacy you shared. Enjoying the aftermath of your lovemaking. After all that, there was nothing to say.

Spike was awestruck that he finally claimed you as his. Not just parts of you but the whole you. He was a tornado of emotions. To be your soulmate carried a heavy burden. A burden that he was willing to shoulder. He didn’t know what the future held for the two of you. However, he knew that he was one. He was whole. For the first time ever, he was wanted.

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