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#LIKE okay. he needs to get over his blind hatred of them. and he does. BUT
kindaorangey · 9 months
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worst part of the iwbft ending is rowan saying "not all maniacal fans are what i thought they were" and waving and smiling at the girls who stalked them to the hospital. like no king you got physically assaulted three days ago i think you're allowed to double down on your hatred actually
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aphroditelovesu · 7 months
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Yandere Tamlin and Rhysand hcs sharing a darling? 👀
❝ 🌹 — lady l: It's three in the morning where I live and here I am... Writing! Do I care? No. Anyway, I hope you like it and forgive me for any mistakes! 💞
❝tw: obsessive and possessive behavior, mention of injuries, unhealthy relationships, polyamorous (sorta of).
❝ ⭐pairing: yandere!tamlin x gn!reader x yandere!rhysand.
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They won't share. That simple. There is no way Tamlin and Rhysand would agree to share a darling, let alone a mate. Tamlin is extremely jealous and Rhysand is possessive as hell. Add the fact that their darling is their mate makes it even worse.
Once one realized the other's interest all hell would break loose. It would all really depend on who discovered it first, but at the end of the day, nothing else would matter. Not even you.
Tamlin is the least emotionally unbalanced and this makes him very volatile and dangerous when his temper gets out of control. He is explosive and although he will never knowingly hurt his darling, you still have to walk on eggshells around him. Especially when Tamlin is jealous or furious.
Rhysand is the most rational one in the situation, or at least he tries to be the most rational one, even though he is seething with hatred inside. Rhys might be willing to share his darling with others, but never with Tamlin, his second worst enemy.
A huge fight would begin and if the situation between the two Courts was already bad before, it would become even worse and more volatile. Tamlin wants you at any cost and so does Rhysand, and neither is willing to share.
You would just be a toy caught in a tug of war. They detested each other deeply and their resentment grew more because of you and you would be nothing less than a pawn in a game that has lasted centuries.
They would still try to care about your needs and what you want, but they will both be so blinded by their hatred and possessiveness that you won't be as important. Not when they desperately wanted to destroy themselves.
The only situation I can see them coming to some kind of agreement would be if something happened to you, like if you were a human and almost died or suffered a terrible injury. It would be the only case where Tam and Rhys would work together for you.
Tamlin wants you desperately, he's already so alone and he needs comfort, love and reassurance. He wants to be loved so desperately and his obsession with you has become so unbearable that he can't sleep properly if he doesn't know that you're okay and with him.
Rhysand wants to be loved and have a loving family above all else, he wants this with all his might. He needs you, he needs to smell you and hear you tell him that he loves him. He needs to know that you love him, that he is the only one for you, and that no matter what, you will always choose him.
They will always fight over you, they will never reach a consensus and you are likely to end up broken and none of them will take the blame, as they will be too focused on destroying themselves than on what you need. Rhysand has tried to pay more attention to you, but at the end of the day, it's really about his personal war with Tamlin.
However, at any sign of threat to your life, they will put aside this feud and focus only on you. Even if it doesn't seem like it, they care about you and love you, in a twisted and strange way, but they do and they want to take care of you. Tamlin, especially, due to the fact that he is overprotective.
Rhysand and Tamlin will never come to an agreement, but maybe, as time goes on, they can learn to share you. There will always be bad blood and fights, but perhaps they will realize that the best way to protect you is to come together. Two High Lords can do very well protecting their mate, even if they hate each other deeply.
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unma · 1 month
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Here's That Heathcliff Ramble You All Wanted
Okay so forgive me for whatever inaccuracies are in here (and correct me if you notice any!) I'm simply sharing the mess of thoughts sitting in my head and while I'm sure this will be more organized by the time I take this out of Notepad and post it I don't promise it won't be obvious how much of a ramble this is. But okay let's go.
Heathcliff and Other!Heathcliff: One and the Same
No, this isn't a theory that Other!Heath is a future Heath or something. It's been made pretty obvious that isn't the case, given ids only pull from other worlds as far as I know. I will also not comment on how this happened; I am aware this (or something similar) happened in Leviathan, but I haven't read Leviathan so I am not aware of the specifics of how this works. Neither does that matter.
Now, to get into my point, I first need to compare this Canto's progression to the previous Canto's, Canto V. Some comparisons in terms of character development could also be made to Canto IV, but my understanding of that is limited and I need to replay it more, and Canto V is a much better comparison due to their similarities. You see, in Canto VI and V, Heathcliff and Ishmael are mirrors of their respective antagonists. While in Ishmael's case, it is because her obsession with defeating Ahab was leading her down the path of becoming Ahab herself ("That bastard… has to be alive still."), for Heathcliff that is because Other!Heathcliff is literally him. In ever single way except for the world he originates from. Given that Ishmael's arc is about seeing that and changing for the better, you would expect Heathcliff to have a similar arc. You would expect their battles to progress the same, with Heathcliff overcoming his issues over the course of the battle acting as a show of their growth so far …right?
The Other!Heathcliff boss fight was great. Music was banging, fight was pretty damn fun and somewhat challenging, and my Shi Heathcliff was doing utterly nothing because I didn't want to stagger him (I have only two none base ids, and the other is a level 1 N. Corp Heath. I was not spending the next half hour in Luxcavation). But, back on track, during the fight I had the distinct feeling that unlike Ahab and Ishmael, there was literally no difference between the two. There was no character growth or sudden realization. You could switch the characters around and it'd be the exact same—hell, give Heath a couple more days and he'd be the exact same. This is even shown in how both of them can get the Deep Bereavement buff.
Where am I going with this? Well, I want to point out the end of their fights. Specifically their base EGO's changes. Ishmael's Snagharpoon was a representation of her undying hatred for Ahab and her obsessive focus on the goal of hunting Ahab down. Her striking Ahab down with the harpoon would be the realization of those efforts, but it would also cement her existence as an Ahab. It would show that she was truly willing to let herself be blinded by her obsession for revenge at the expense of those around her, and thus her striking down the whale after would be Ahab striking down the whale. However, in choosing to strike the whale instead of Ahab, she shows her ability to not let such an obsession completely overtake her; to follow her compass not with blind devotion but with a sharp understanding, like a great sailor. She has learnt to use her compass as a guide for a journey of her own making, not as a rule for where she must go. "This is how I will chart my own path…"
Heathcliff, on the other hand, does not have the meaning of his EGO change or evolve at the end of the battle. Instead, the meaning is further reinforced and revealed plainly for all to see, with the extra context of what Other!Heathcliff told him. "You… and everything that crushed me under their feet, built this wall between me and Cathy…" may include Hindley and Edgar, but ultimately they're only extras. The true meaning of the Bodysack is made literal as he proceeds to beat Other!Heathcliff to death with it, who, as we've established, is literally him. He is beating up himself with the sack. He is going to shove himself into the sack. And as the beating continues and extends past its usual duration, we see the envy outline fade and be replaced with wrath, and the damage counter changes to that of corrosion. He is not wielding the EGO. It is wielding him. This acts as a representation of how this battle has affected him; but unlike Ishmael who grew positively in her cutscene, Heathcliff is faller deeper and deeper into his already existing issues. Bodysack's envy assignment showed just how much he envied everyone else: he seems himself as an absolute wretch, the worst of the worst, and because he sees everyone as better than him, he journeys to better himself such that Cathy will acknowledge him. And yet, as the Envy fades to wrath, its meaning is not completely altered, only further revealed. He doesn't just envy others for not being as pathetic as he sees himself to be, he hates himself for being such a wretch. The bodysack isn't just meant for others. It's meant for the object of his hatred. Himself.
In killing Other!Heathcliff in such a manner, he cements himself as the same person, much like it would have been if Ishmael killed Ahab.
Here, I will shift a little to talk about Other!Heath, who I view as simply a more complete version of Heath. In the sense that he's already been through the entire book, his entire journey. He is Heath with the benefit (or demerit, I guess) of experience. And yet it's interesting how he's not even the slightest angry about losing. He doesn't just want to kill Heathcliff, not to just watch him fall into despair. He wants Heathcliff to come to the realization that he has: he is the wretch that murdered Cathy. He is the reason she was destined to be miserable. And for that sin, he deserves nothing worse than hell. Other!Heathcliff doesn't just want Heathcliff dead, he wants himself dead. He's not just journeying to other worlds to fulfil some hate boner. It's either he kills other Heathcliffs, or they kill him. There is no in-between. All Heathcliffs must die, and as long as they continue to die, he is fine with his own death.
There is another thing I would like to comment on, but only lightly, as I would like to wait for the reveal this Wednesday to complete my thoughts on it, but Heath's conversation with Carmen is interesting, specifically the point where he distorts. There, he affirms just how he sees himself: not as a human, but as a beast, something much lesser than a person. Such is the shape his distortion shall take, as said by Carmen and laid out by Heathcliff: "I shall become an infernal hound; snarling, tearing at the fabric of the City… And I will shove its remnants into this sack… and grate it across the broken earth." One cannot help but think this is a result of all the dehumanization he had gone through at the hands of Hindley. All the verbal abuse he suffered at the hands of everyone but Nelly and Catherine has been internalized, and this is the result.
Lastly, I would like to point out two things that came to me upon remembering the start of the book: Cathy died in childbirth from what I heard, and Ms. Heathcliff (I am unaware if her name is revealed in the book, I have either not reached that point or it never is) has yet to show up in this Canto to my knowledge. However, that is not what I want to talk about here. The thing is, Heathcliff owns dogs in the books. The hounds that threatened to bite Mr. Lockwood. And I can't help but think that his distortion would reference them, in some part. I know Heathcliff already has Telepole (which is sure to take on meaning given this Canto, especially its corrosion), but I doubt they would go the route of making his distortion straight up Telepole. That would be disappointed and honestly doesn't seem like what PM would do. Allow me this little bit of speculation, alright?
I think that's all I have to say for now. I can't wait to see what happens next honestly, so I'm kinda glad I have GBF Guild Wars to distract me until the next part is here. Feel free to share your thoughts in the notes! I may take a while to respond, but I promise I'll do so eventually! (Be patient with me, I have social anxiety and ADHD, admittedly self-diagnosed though.)
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thescions · 4 months
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Ship potential: G'raha/Haurchefaunt, Ysayle/Yotsuyu & Minfilia/Moenbryda. Some unusual ones, as a treat!
This Meme/Request || Accepting
These were fun to discuss and think about! Thank you, Anon!
G'raha/Haurchefant
Right away we have to say that this would not be a romantic ship. G'raha isn't Haurchefant's type, and the pair just really would make much better friends. They both have a strong moral compass and deep love for their nation (Ishgard, Crystarium), and genuinely are just so kind-hearted at their core.
G'raha and Haurchefant would bond over their admiration for the WOL for sure, possibly to the point of embarrassing them a little. G'raha would also ask a ton about Estinien, and Haurchefant would end up teasing him about it!
The pair would have a lot of respect for one another's perserverance and inner strength, and constantly be the type to hype each other (and the WOL and anyone else who needed it) up.
Ysayle/Yotsuyu
Considering all she's been through, we think Yotsuyu would be sex-repulsed/aromantic. We acknowledge that not everyone who has been through similar trauma reacts this way, but Yotsuyu specifically is only interested in revenge. And she'd likely look down on anyone she considered attractive, anyway.
That being said -- Ysayle has such strong morals that these two likely couldn't survive being in a room together. We think Ysayle would attempt to sympathize with Yotsuyu upon learning her past, but Yotsuyu would immediately recoil from any sort of "pity" and insult her. Call her a dragonwhore, etc. And Ysayle would inevitably become wholly disgusted by Yotsuyu's blind hatred, as Yotsuyu has no interest in healing or breaking any sort of cycle of violence.
The only 'classic evil villain' moment Ysayle had was her cackle when she broke the protective seals on Ishgard, so she does have a tiny bit of potential to go off the deep end similar to Yotsuyu... but that was very brief, and it would likely take an even more tragic back story to get her to that point. Perhaps aesthetically Ysayle would think Yotsuyu is attractive, but her twisted personality would destroy any hopes of that evolving beyond aesthetic.
Who do you think would win in a Tsukiyomi vs Shiva fight though?
Minfilia/Moenbryda
Okay, THIS one we actually really like and could totally see being a thing! After all, we headcanon that Moenbryda and (the real) Yda had a thing when they studied in Old Sharlayan, so we know she likes blondes! And Minfilia appreciates a strong woman like herself.
Moenbryda would ask so many questions about Louisioux and how he was leading up to his death, and Minfilia would be happy to share all that she could. We forsee a lot of hanging out and talking over drinks/dinner for these ladies.
It would be a gradual working relationship turned friendship turned romance, but it wouldn't take a long time for it to happen! Yes, work with the Scions would come first and they'd remain professional throughout, but an occasional flirtatious joke would tip the others off. Thancred would probably be the last to know.
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unohanabbygirl · 7 months
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Quick Question? Does Aemond have a different perspective of what happened in Driftmark? Or does he still blame the other kids for his lost eye? I guess what I’m asking is, does he take any responsibility for partly instigating said fight?
-FMN
Aemond’s opinion on the Driftmark incident has changed dramatically. If you were to ask him two thousand years ago, he would’ve been adamant that he was ambushed and blinded for no reason other than jealousy and hatred. Now that he’s grown and opened himself up to seeing both sides, Aemond doesn’t put blame on himself or the others but the adults who were the real ones responsible for letting things get to the point of physical violence/bloodshed between them.
The way he sees things, Aemond feels that while it was well within in right to claim Vhagar (sorry Rhaena baby but an unclaimed dragon is an unclaimed dragon) it was also within Rhaena’s right to be upset. She was a little girl who just had a big piece of her mother taken from her without being given a chance to at least try and make her claim.
What really helped Aemond see things this way is thinking of if something similar happened with Helaena’s kids. How heartbroken and rightfully upset Jaehaera would’ve been if she were in Rhaena’s shoes. If he had the ability to go back Aemond would tell his younger self to wait until morning and ask to try after Rhaena had a chance of her own.
Now, does he feel it was okay for Baela to punch him? Not at all, but he of all people can understand how words easily lead you to throwing the first punch.
As for his comment about Jace dying just like Harwin. Aemond knows good and well something like that can be interpreted as a threat because how else could it be taken? Especially when holding a sizable rock over your opponent head. He didn’t mean it of course. The guy was only defending himself as he was outnumbered and vulnerable. But after looking at things from other perspectives its easy to see why Lucerys— who was the youngest of them all, felt the need to grab that knife.
He still feels that bringing a knife at all was idiotic on Jace’s part because if he felt they were in that much danger he should’ve called for a guard. But again, they were stupid kids hopped up on grief and anger. It was the adults job to prevent something like this as they all knew there was tension between the children. Tension that they all had a hand in creating and failed to protect them miserably.
To sum things up, yes, Aemond takes responsibility while also putting the blame onto those who deserve it. The others feel the exact same but as of right now Aemond is the only one with the balls to actually say it out loud. Whereas the black kids are still too high on their “fuck Aemond” stance to admit he was just as innocent as they were.
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eldritch-nightmare · 8 months
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Do you think Jonathan and emmras past together effects their relationship
Like they were highschool sweethearts, and she just up and left him for ballet school. And then he committed and died after months of depression
And I believe in cannon he was the one who killed her and made her into a puppet
Like...there's gotta be SOME hostility and negative feelings, and romantic ones bc yk, their history
Toxic for sure
oh, it 100% does. prepare for a messy combination of thoughts, my friend.
like... before jonathan became the puppeteer and before they had broken up, they were so deeply in love with each other. emra genuinely considered abandoning all her dreams because she loved him so much, but she ultimately decided to put herself first, and she wanted to live a life that her parents could be proud of, so she ultimately broke up with him to pursue her dreams of ballet.
and then, as we know, jonathan isolated himself due to his broken heart and stayed isolated for years before his death. i'm actually not sure about the exact timeline because i don't know when emra left for ballet school, but he was 20 when he died.
but emra is the only person jonathan has ever killed with his bare hands. like, he typically only kills with his strings or other methods. he never kills with his own two hands, so i think that emra took that as some twisted sign of 'oh, he still loves me.'
and emra is his masterpiece. he brought her back into the form of a porcelain doll. she is his masterpiece. he will always be his masterpiece. and i think, in the beginning, everything was... okay. emra, blinded by her love for jonathan, willingly obeyed his every command. and he praised her for it! he gave her love, and he gave her praise, and she craved for more. she loved being with him again, so blinded by the memories she shared with him to see that this is no longer the jonathan she loved.
but, at some point, emra did something that broke the trust that the puppeteer had in her. and like a switch, all the praise and love she got from him was gone. he rarely ever visits her anymore, not unless he needs her to do something.
now, emra has monophobia. she has such a strong fear of being alone that she genuinely doesn't care about how the puppeteer treats her anymore so long as he is just around. and the puppeteer uses that against her.
and over time, emra's love for jonathan is replaced by a burning hatred, one she hides away whenever he is around out of fear of what he may do to her.
the puppeteer still loves emra, that much is known, but he actively goes out of his way to hide these feelings by pushing her around and manipulating her to make her feel less than him. the reason he brought her back is because he loves her, even if he doesn't want to admit it to himself. he would literally kill anyone who even thinks about hurting her. which is ironic, considering he's the one who causes her the most pain.
she is his only tie to the earth, the only thing that reminds him of his past that he can barely remember anymore.
he doesn't want to remember his old life as jonathan. he doesn't know jonathan. but jonathan is the person that emra loves. emra doesn't love the puppeteer, emra hates him. she'll never get jonathan back, and they'll never go back to what they used to be. that is a constant thought in both their minds.
emra wants nothing more than to leave the puppeteer. she and zachary have even talked about it together, but they're both too scared of what the puppeteer may do to them if they go through with it.
and the puppeteer just wants emra to continue loving him, that's all.
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the-firebird69 · 2 years
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Tell me if we don't see what you're saying you're trying to hit our son with stuff instead of these people so sick of you you don't have any use for us and we have no use for you
Thor Freya
I figured out something I've also been shooting at him in certain places and he doesn't want to be alive I agree it's stupid and I keep doing it and I can't stop so all we dead
Tommy f
Who the f*** are you to be shooting at him and having grills and other things flying at them he's an inventor he's valuable I want you dead tommy f you f****** piece of s***
Mac
All that stress and hatred and evil s*** and blasphemy and stuff has come from you and it's causing him to be a wreck because you're a moron what are you doing you stupid loser you're supposed to be this professional military person and it's knowledgeable Mac and all this other stuff into the dumbest person I've ever seen that's ridiculous having a grill shooting at him like three times he said and he tried knife at him it didn't go in now we're going to hold you accountable we stopped some of that too and you've had enough this is ridiculous I know what he's saying now this guy is way out there what are you he's attacking me I'm just going to end up in the hospital and who gets a s*** I get stuck in the hospital stupid moron he is God damn it that's stupid
Daniel
Where the f*** do we have you in the payroll I wanted this guy Tommy F off the payroll in front they both suck so bad who needs any floors or demons are accidents we get these two idiots and then attacking him for Christ's sake please like this stupid okay you've been shot in the head 20 times since then because I wasn't so mad at you
Mike tew
Now I know these people are it's a mixed team and some of them are clones and some are I'm not there well I might be and he's here too and it's a pain in the ass what you say is true what what in the hell are you doing I look over you trying to drop something on him and we're all standing there watching you he has to go to the hospital. Is it going to have to sit there with an injury for years after the dumb hospital doesn't f****** and there's no compensation there's no rest and there's no peace there's a sitting there angry cuz you keep provoking him and provoking him like this it these idiots do a little in this and it does a lot I think about it from someone else's perspective like his people like what if they're powerfully you stupid ass moron he just explained what happened to the bodies potentially and we don't even know if they're there cuz they're such ninnies and idiots we can't scan because of you and other people blocking and so freaking idiotic and incompetent we're all Max and you stupid s*** hasn't staying there hiding stuff and smiling looking beautiful winner. Don't start with me Tommy F you f****** idiot everybody knows the math is backwards and he knows it which is badass and he's very dangerous and you're stupid cause your girl all the time wasn't that Lady luscious is up to it's talking about you sinking his teeth and a nice freaking meat says that stuff all the time he can't help it. Says this I'm 54 years old I'm young I got some a****** with his nose up my ass all day long seeing stupid s*** and I don't do any of that stupid crap that you say I do he says that he he does things as much much worse they sit there I'm using on it and saying it's a great cover and all this crap I want you out I've seen these things you're a freaking moron you lost your absent
Mac
It's kind of like this Billy z that people are responsible for making stuff like that big humongous manta ray if you didn't see it you're blind as a bat I wanted to bet you didn't you're such a dick
Zues Hera
That's fine I know what you mean it say there's examples up off Alaska of the dinosaurs only but it's similar they just sit there Frozen and they come back to life similar thing okay and that's what you're saying I know what you're saying this creatures and you guys are involved you have a bear up there and stupid s*** we realize that you're helping everyone we bought the Bear get mangled but I have objectives to reach
Tommy f
So tomorrow I'll go get your hair done and the nails the next day don't bother me about it you have money and stuff okay you're supposed to not tell me your plan every few minutes one way or the other John remillard or other it's not really a force majeure okay you're off course hey do me a favor go up there and visit your uncle and stuff and your kids and your clones at West point and look up what I'm talking about
Zues Hera
I sort of see something that's a wise ass comment and deserves a response and we can't get there cuz Max in the way a... I mean it too I can't get up there he says that's good go get yourself some lemonade and a lawn chair. Cuz there's a bunch of clones so I might ask how many
Billy z
It's about 7 50 million in one hole and 600,000 trillion in the other
Thor Freya
All the place by predators and yet you have the numbers.
Tommy f
Hey that's what's there count that stuff and they're all marked and they're in their language the markings are you don't even know why they're there or what they got or what they did with them and they were there maybe they have some sort of structure below
Thor Freya
I'm going to go up there and look you're saying this I went there as well and I learned stuff and I stole it and I taught my people with it and yes I taught them a lot from there because it was a compilation of everything it's a very freaky and spooky place it's very dangerous but they teach people and they teach people how to kill and how to survive and how to run maneuvers and he's right I'm way off it's true too I'm not treating him correctly and it's not for any military dogma it's just because I have a temper and you think sound a little kid and it sounds like that because I am and he knows what it is kind of a part of it it's because of the cage you and how they affect people and if they bite you and they might be doing that he says to me cuz venom is something that most people can't handle it makes people crazy like Uncle Paul in the movie about The mummy girl or it could be the girl LOL he handles it off and on but it's very difficult and I'm ingesting it here so people say I'm not but I am and it makes me resume where is it makes other people quite dead and are stupid or crazy.
So I want to know how and it says private genetics in front of us getting resistance by getting bit by them and spiders and other stuff and ingesting it for years and years and years with Jen and Melissa they all had venom in their mouth. So I'm getting grossed out because he's had kids who are monsters and they're way worse than azog he says who's very dangerous he's extremely strong most of the time I tell you what I think it was him when the floor and he's very strong and he says he's not as strong as these things so he got worried they have to keep in control over when we started doing things says he's a prejudice just like the movie and really the small ones kind of shrunk down they usually as big as a big one or bigger and his people say bigger but just imagine them all at that height cuz that's what they are. So he's telling the guy that the chupacabra is not that it's a much nice looking fella and he smiles and he's in relief cuz they know what it looks like it's terrifyingly gross and scary and frightening as my kid you I wanted to see it though and he's a Latino person a male. And that was vital and goddess wife in the background for Christ's sake this is a real when people know about it. We're going to go up there and be horrified says his claw marks on each and every skull because that's how they carve them in and the DNA is probably in there although very much destroyed mostly but you can find fragments of their claws and stuff human and it's not lizard and so on this is very hard. I got to go up there and look it says waiting for a real treat because soon you tell in Godzilla going to be here outdoors and probably help me cuz it's terrifyingly bad and then I don't really know it so I got to go up there and find out and they probably won't let me in he says it's kind of simple it's like musical chairs and then the next day it's a different musical chairs look at that
Tommy f
Good God this is terrible it is right though we called him talk and all sense of fight so he's going to try and take it over for a minute but if there's a structure up there I want to know it and what our friend says is it seems that are there for quite a while if you had a tunnel collapse or the sucked so I get that
Mac they also said that that Stonehenge and it's missing and inside the rock just like these rocks outside is thorium and one of them makes it to the moon in the movie that hasn't happened yet or has it space Odyssey 2010 we have to go there now this is ridiculous that's grossing me out
Mac Daddy
My grand nephew is powerful is part of a different group and his wife is and they're extremely powerful and they're higher-ups and he's got some kind of rank we don't know about he keeps saying above emperor and he knows it's true and it says it's on par with Thor but it's a different role and Freya for his wife Hera. He also says it's a complicated intricate society with a lot of social requirements and a lot of holidays and events that are kept and across cultures too but really it's a lot different and he said you can look at the cards Zues and you'll see that I have children from sea nymphs, and we get it too out there they mutate and change and into all sorts of things mermaids and sofa to move around and to not be suspicious looking and actually mermaids are deadly they grab men but she appeared as a little girl and we have video of it and Dave was astounded could not believe it when he heard what she was no he was silent about it and he says there's no way they can't know because George was shooting xenomore out in the field and he lost somehow to the ENT and that's what it was so we're moving out we're going to go look at that I don't care what we have to do Tommy f I said okay now fours will be interested but it's thorium you see and those things were used for certain things those rectangular pieces and we need to test primates and it is a signaling device now we're scared again and we have to get out of here
Mac
Oh shit I remember the movie
Tommy f
Oh no we're sitting on her ass with a thumbs up her ass he says no it's more like a double fisting and it's true we got to get the hell out of here
Daniel
I wonder what they'd be broadcasting the way it's set up it's going to one certain place but it's a very very broad area I did detect it and we do know it's a signal and they saw me doing it and stopped it means they're below I've got to get the hell out of here
Bill pierce
I'm tired of doing his announcement snow is this fooling around but wow he's involved in all this he knows where it's for and he says that the harvester Queen sends one too and from our ship and we've got to get the hell out of here
Mike tew
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sukirichi · 3 years
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home from war | sukuna x reader
Home from War | sukuna x reader
featuring: sukuna x reader (historical au) with small moments of megumi x reader
warnings: very mild suggestive content, mentions of manslaughter and slight yandere tendencies + a toxic sukuna + angst + not proofread :D
part two!
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How does one soothe their lover who’s come from war?
You ponder about this carefully, eyes dark as you let your gaze travel from the opening door. Sukuna comes in, bare chest littered with cuts caked in mud, blood, and dirt, and you see the way the grip around his katana falters just a little bit. The room is dark – it is late at night, after all, and you had stirred awake in your accidental slumber from waiting too long for him to return home – but you see him under the darkness clearly. Way too clearly.
Those markings on his face you so dearly love don’t even seem threatening. You seriously question your sanity at this point because he is the Ryomen Sukuna; King of Curses. It’s no secret that he does as he pleases, taking someone’s life as if it was second nature to him, claiming territories, wealth, and even people as if they were his own.
You should be scared, and in a way, you are.
But not in that way.
You’re scared because his shoulders slump, those once burning red eyes fluttering close as he drops to his knees on the floor. Without wasting another second, you leap off the bed, your arms wrapping around his figure. He reeks of death, and before you know it, you wash his exhaustion away by peppering his face with the pads of your lips.
Sukuna hums, pulling you closer to him until there is no space between skin, his neck nuzzling in your face. “I’m home,” his lips brush the bare skin of your neck, his breath warm and ticklish. “I made it home to you, my love. Safely like you asked.”
Your heart clenches at his words. Immediately, you bite down your tongue and blink back the tears that threaten to fall. Safely? You want to snap back, your nails almost raking down his back. This is hardly considered “safely” when his knees wobble as you guide him inside the bath, nearly unable to keep his eyes open as you wipe away his cuts and the other remnants of war present on his body.
“I’m sorry,” his voice echoes in the confined walls. You don’t even realize the tears had fallen until his rough, calloused hands brush a tear away. He tilts your chin upwards to look him in the eye, lips trembling when those devilish eyes soften – reserved for you and only for you – and Sukuna sighs through his nose. “I wish I could stop the war, but — ”
“It’s not possible,” you finish for him, forcing a smile to help ease his worries. At this point, you’re conflicted between wanting to scold him to not leave the temple anymore and just stay with you, but you also know why Sukuna doesn’t do that.
It’s because he wants to keep you safe. As long as you were around, Sukuna would go the moon and back just to keep coming back home to you. Perhaps that was the most painful part – the fact that you knew he wouldn’t have done this if he hadn’t met you. Sukuna was the fearsome King of Curses, powerful and undefeated even after a thousand years, but he wasn’t omnipotent. Hundreds of jujutsu sorcerers have lost their lives trying to defeat them, and it took about a hundred more deaths before they backed off at the realization he couldn’t be defeated or exorcised.
Until you came.
You were Sukuna’s weakness, the chink in his armour, his Achilles heel.
The moment it was known that Sukuna kept a lover, they just kept coming. The war begun.  Soon enough, your days of rolling around in bed with him, trapped under his arms and weekends spent in whines of each other’s names disappeared.
Sukuna has a temple to defend. A lover to protect. A woman to cherish. A soul to treasure.
It was all because of you, and you know better than anyone else that he was tired. But he’d never tell you that. He would still scoop you in his arms; pull you closer by the hip so he could lay his ears on your chest, eventually falling asleep with the sensation of your fingers massaging his scalp while you hum to soothe him. The sound of your heartbeat has Sukuna exhaling rhythmically minutes later.
The notorious King of Curses, bundled up in the arms of his lover, completely relaxes in the privacy of his shared bedroom with the woman he loves most. It was as if the war didn’t happen at all. He sleeps with a small smile on his face, sleepily mumbling your name and reaching up to kiss your smooth skin every now and then.
It was perfect. It was heaven.
But that wasn’t you.
Because you are not her; you are not even human. You listen to all this on the other side of the temple. If you were anyone else, someone like her, then Sukuna’s intimate moments with his lover would be private – something that would be kept and cherished only between the two of them. But you aren’t human.
You are a curse born from people’s heartbreak and grief. You don’t even remember how you came to life; your first memory hazy of nothing but endless pain and so much anger you lost yourself. Until he came.
Ryomen Sukuna; the King of Curses – he adored you.
Finally, he met his equal. A curse equally as powerful and blinded by darkness, hatred, and bloodlust – you were one of the rare curses whose presence he enjoyed, and it didn’t take long before he invited you to his temple and offered a seat next to him.
You are Ryomen Sukuna’s right hand warrior, his greatest partner when it comes to battle. If he was powerful before, people feared you both even more when you joined powers. He didn’t go to war without you. For days on end, you and Sukuna would traverse villages and slaughter kingdoms to fill the emptiness gaping in your hearts, but he changed when he met her.
That fragile, meak, little human that loved him and changed him.
Because of her, even you are forced to join this war against jujutsu sorcerers. It’s been a long war – consisting of ten days and waning red moons. You and Sukuna barely came out unscathed this time, the Gojo clan seems to have something else under their sleeves, and your yukata had been ripped open in pieces while blood washed over your body like water.
You and Sukuna came back tired, weak, almost defeated.
You lay your back flat against the wall, teeth attacking your bottom lip while you pour potions over your cuts. At the other side of the temple, Sukuna is already fast asleep, safe in the arms of his lover. And you? You couldn’t even let out a small noise of whimper. Sukuna’s heightened senses would pick up on it, mistake that it would be his precious little woman in his sleepy daze, and you don’t want him to be further agitated.
Besides, once he realizes that it was just you, he would only go back to sleep.
Because he knew you didn’t need him, not in that way. You were the Curse born from Heartbreak, possibly the only ever person who would know pain and suffering the same way he did, but that isn’t true. Sukuna wouldn’t understand that this is your suffering – to have him within grasp but out of reach, to know that he was always with you, that he loves you just the same, but not in the way you want him to, not in the way you need him to.
To him, you are his beloved friend and partner in crime.
You are not the one who soothes him when he comes from war. You are not the one that gets to feel his harsh tongue soften at the first contact of your lips, to have the privilege of having rough hands that easily tortured others to be gentle as he dips his hands in the dips and curves of your body. You are not the one who gets to see him when he wakes up and he smiles half-lidded. You are not the one who gets to kiss his pain and wounds away, to wipe his tears from his cheeks because looking at you makes him wonder how lucky he is to have you.
Instead, you are the one he brings to war with. You are the one he trusts to keep her safe, to watch his back and guard all possible blind spots during war. You are the one who jumps in front of him when a blast of fire is on his way, and you are the one who heals his wounds in the battlefield when he grows too weak. You are the one he laughs with when you’ve both decapitated the enemy, growing only stronger with each passing day under the belief maybe both of you could rule the world someday.
But does any of it matter?
You always believed that you were okay with it, that having him trust you with his whole life, enough to have you sleeping under the same roof as him, was everything you needed. But after she came, you watched him fall in love, and you felt pathetic.
You could never have him.
You could never have what they have.
Sometimes you wonder, what if you just said it? In those nights where nothing but the moonlight illuminated both of your blood-stained faces, chests rising up and down as it both rumbled with laughter, discarded glasses of alcohol thrown on the ground – it would’ve been the perfect moment, wouldn’t it?
Though deep down, you knew the answer.
Sukuna wouldn’t love you, couldn’t love you. He wanted someone to protect, not someone to fight wars with. He wanted someone to come home to, not someone he wrecked homes with. He wanted to listen to someone’s dreams and passions – all of the things you didn’t have because you were born out of pain, living in pain, and Sukuna was the only thing that soothed you for a bit.
Your breaths came out raspy as your wounds began to close up. The stench of blood remained on your body, the red liquid drying up.
Sukuna wouldn’t want an impure woman like you. It makes sense he loved her. She was as bright as the sky while you were as dark as day, and when she laughed, she lit up the whole room. You don’t laugh, you don’t even smile. The only times you ever got to feel that sort of happiness was when you were still a fresh-born curse, a wild Sukuna more than glad to teach you of his ways.
It’s okay, you lie to yourself, crawling back to your bed while ridding yourself of your clothes. You would shower later; sleep needed to come first. Curses like you don’t really need, but you were too exhausted – inside and outside – that for once, you want to submit to healing.
As you close your eyes, you hear Sukuna stir in their room again. The sounds of faint lip-locking echo in your ears, making you slap your palms on the sides of your head, but you hear it, you hear it, you hear it, you hear it.
“How is Y/N?” she asks worriedly, her dainty, small, and innocent fingers that could never harm a fly brushing against his skin. Warm.
“She’s fine,” Sukuna rasps tiredly, “She’s a little beaten up, but she’s in a better state than I am,” you hear him kiss her on the forehead, a contended sigh leaving her lips. “She’ll be fine, my love. You know Y/N. She is fierce, brave, and courageous. This war is nothing to her.”
“I still feel bad she joined the war just so both of you could protect me.”
Shut up, shut up, shut up!
“She knows I love you,” Sukuna mumbles on top of her head, his hands tracing patterns on her back. Tears flowed out your eyes, your body trembling as you bit your fist, drool flowing down. You couldn’t stop the way you felt your heart torn to pieces. Really, it shouldn’t be anything new to you. You are a curse manifested from heartbreak, after all, but why did it hurt so much this time? “Y/N is a long time friend and ally of mine. She cherishes everything I cherish.”
“But still...aren’t you going to check up on her? I couldn’t even welcome her back. I haven’t seen you both in days and I...”
“Shhh,” Sukuna lulls her worries. “I’ll check up on her right now, although I don’t think she needs it. She’s a strong warrior, after all.”
“Sukuna,” her voice was laced with warning this time, but it later softens, as it always does. “Even the strongest have their weak moments, like how you are with me. Just because someone is capable of enduring the pain, doesn’t mean they won’t appreciate an act of kindness. Y/N has been loyal to you far longer than I have, but you really need to show your gratitude more to her,” she sighs, “Go check on her, my love. See if she’s doing well. If she’s fully recovered by tomorrow, I’ll head out to the market and prepare you both a lovely meal. It’s the least I could do.”
Sukuna chuckles, “My love, we don’t need to eat.”
“No matter. She likes miso soup, doesn’t she?”
By now, you’re frozen in bed. The blood and dirt and your skin have stained your sheets, and your hair is knotted in tangles from endless fighting. Maybe this is the reason why you hated yourself more than you hate her – because deep down, she isn’t really someone you could hate.
It makes sense Sukuna loves her.
Unlike you, she is kind, caring, gentle and full of love. What did you have? Pent up anger, bloodlust, temperamental tendencies and a hobby of withdrawing as a form of isolation because you couldn’t cope with the heartbreak – this is your gift. Your curse.
She is a blessing.
You hear the bed dip feet away, and whispers of, “Be safe, I’ll wait for you,” before a door slides close. Sukuna’s footsteps pad nearer in your hallway, in a place that he had his servants build just for you years ago when you proved your loyalty to him. Back then, you were over the moon when you saw him telling his people he wanted you to have your own room, but now it was like a huge slap on your face that Sukuna cared for you, but he didn’t want you close to him in the way she was.
Your room was on the other side of the temple, at the back, to be specific. While she stays with him in his own chambers, he used his magic to build her a beautiful garden filled with her favourite flowers, while you were somewhat locked away behind it all.
A bitter smile makes it way to your face. Sukuna was coming, not because he wanted to, but because she asked him to.
You want to laugh. Instead, you run out the room in such speed that the sheets fly away from your bed, and the floorboards crack under the force of your movements. When Sukuna raps his knuckles on your door, asks if he could come in (as if he needed permission for that), and you don’t answer, he takes it upon himself to intrude.
He isn’t surprised at your discarded clothes, or how your room remains dark and empty, as if you’d never been there at all. This isn’t the first time you ran away, and this would not be the first time he ran after you either.
He knows you’ll come home.
After all, it was him you kept coming back to – although he didn’t know that.
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Breakfast the next day wasn’t any better. She invited you to join them, fretting over the cuts on your cheeks and dabbing at them with a wet towel. She feels like a doting mother who wouldn’t stop worrying about her child who tripped, and again, you realize why he loves her.
The food was good. Like she promised, miso soup is placed in a bowl you painted years ago, and she beams at you expectantly while Sukuna caressed her thighs under the table. Your lips tremble as you take a spoonful of it, letting the warm soup soothe your exhausted body with a sigh. Sukuna peers at you in the same curiosity, head tilted to the side ever so slightly as if waiting how you’ll react.
It’s no secret you don’t open yourself up to anyone other than him. The moment she came to live with you both, he could tell you locked yourself up in your room and even disappeared for weeks under the lie that you were parading in the districts to “look for some fun.”
Sukuna knows you better than you know yourself. He knows it’s a lie, that you’re not someone who “looks for fun” and that you probably just stayed up in the mountains watching the sunrise. He knows you’re uncomfortable with her displays of affection, of how she easily adored you or how she cared for you like you were her sister or even a friend, but he doesn’t say anything about it.
If anything, he only hopes you would treat her the same way.
You don’t finish your bowl. It’s extremely difficult to enjoy the food when Sukuna compliments her on her cooking skills and she turns beet red beside him, nervously giggling that she just wanted to make you feel better. Sukuna bends down to steal a peck from her lips, teasing her that she was his “sweet angel” who had a heart of gold.
They don’t even eat.
They’re just giggling, laughing, kissing, and you understand – you really do. It isn’t every day that Sukuna gets to indulge in the presence of his beloved. But only you are there with him. It’s either he trusts you enough to let his guard down, or you’re unimportant enough that he doesn’t care if you see him completely baby her and spoil her rotten with how he grabs her onto his lap and starts kissing her nose and then her eyelids.
Their cheerful laughter is a great contrast to the sound of your heart shattering into pieces. They don’t notice that you’ve excused yourself, heading out the room and into the back part of the house, passing the servants on the way.
Similar to how they treat Sukuna, they quiver and bow before you, making sure to keep their eyes on the floor in fear you’d slice their heads off. You fight back a sigh. You wouldn’t do that – not when they welcomed you so warmly (or rather, fearfully) and accepted you as their master. You realize that they don’t act this way around Sukuna’s lover. In fact, they light up when she’s around and talk to her freely; everyone was just comfortable in her presence.
You know you’re not her.
You could never be her.
She was a human, and you’re nothing but a lonely, heartbroken curse.
Hours pass by, and no one looks for you. You dare not enter the garden Sukuna made for her even if you also like the flowers, simply because you don’t want Sukuna to be appalled at the thought that someone like you – a Curse who’d killed people and tortured others – would also be enamoured with something as innocent as daisies.
The lake is peaceful that night. It’s painful to bathe back at the temple because the servants won’t leave you alone. They insist on washing your body for you and that you should lay back, but you refuse to be coddled. The lake is on the other side of the mountain, deep in the forest with smaller curses lurking, so no one would find you here.
The moon shines down bright on you, and for the first time since you’d gotten home, you smile.
It looks so beautiful. So big and bright, yet so haunting and peaceful with secrets you could never uncover. You stare at it as you take off your robes layer by layer, feet dipping into the cold water before submerging completely. The ripples on the lake illuminated by the moonlight makes it even more soul-stirring.
You cup the water and wash your hair, finally getting rid of the invisible stains from the war. You felt clean, refreshed – but your heart still rumbled with hatred and darkness. Hatred that you couldn’t be good enough, hatred that you’re destined to be lonely and unloved.
One of the good things about bathing at midnight is that no one gets to see your tears when it mixes in with the water, and you throw your head back in laughter with your arms extended to the sky. This is who you are – a Curse with no future and no past.
Later, you choke as a sob begins, your fist clenching above your heart. It hurt everywhere.
You wanted Sukuna – so much that you felt like you were going to go insane.
If it wasn’t for him, you’d be trapped in an endless nightmare. But he saved you, cared for you, made you his equal. So why couldn’t he love you? You’ve always been there for him. When people turned against him or plotted a rebellion, you were the one who snuck into clan houses and slit their throats, making their descendants and followers witness the consequence of disrespecting Sukuna.
When he was nearly exorcised by an overpowered jujutsu sorcerer, you summoned an army of thousand lost souls to defeat them, nearly ending up with you losing your head in the aftermath. It was always you – you were always there from him since the beginning, so why didn’t he love you?
You cupped your eyes with your palms, unable to stop the tears from coming now. Your whole body shook with sobs, turning number and number at the cold water. Nothing mattered, nothing mattered, nothing did if you couldn’t have Sukuna.
“Sukuna,” you cried out, pushing your hair back as the ripples blurred in your tear-stained view. “Sukuna, help me, please...” Put an end to my suffering, you inwardly begged. Death is a better option than watching him fall deeper and deeper for her, knowing that could never be you. He’d never look at you that way. He’d never touch you that way. He would never be your lover, and your sobs grew more desperate because you know you are his lover.
God, you loved him so much more than you hated yourself.
This sort of madness had you gasping for air. Death – death is a better option. It is a much more peaceful way to go than to suffer each waking day to have what you want be explicitly stated to be reserved for anyone else but you.
You froze when a pair of arms encircled your waist, his grip strong and vice-like. He turned you around, his large hand coming at the small of your neck to bring you down to his shoulder where you could hide your tears. Until now, he knows you better than you know yourself, and he knows it would shatter you even more if he saw you crying.
“Y/N,” Sukuna begins, and your eyes widen when you see he’s still wearing his robe. He must’ve jumped in the water. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. What’s wrong?”
Your lips turned blue from the cold. Unable to help the shiver that ran down your spine, your teeth chattered, and Sukuna pulled you closer to the heat of his skin. He sighed worriedly. “You need to tell me what’s wrong, otherwise, I can’t help you.”
“I” You falter. Your heart drums loudly in your chest. He would reject you, break your heart into pieces all over again but – so what if he did? It almost made you laugh. You’re the Curse of Heartbroken Souls. It wouldn’t make a difference if he hurt you now. Instantly, you weaken in his hold, and Sukuna’s hands grip your waist to keep you upright.
“Fuck, Y/N, what’s wrong —”
“Kiss me.”
“What?”
“Kiss me,” you repeat, more confidently this time. You pull away from him in the slightest bit, eyes blown wide as you peer up at his appalled ones. His hands squeeze your waist subconsciously, his sharp nails piercing through your skin until it draws blood. It makes you gasp a little, but you’re used to the pain. Right now, you want to be selfish and free yourself from this pain. “I want you to kiss me, Sukuna.”
His eyebrows pinch together. “What the fuck are you saying? I love someone else, you know I won’t —”
“Won’t do what?” You challenge, eyes burning from the intensity and ferocity of each nerve humming to life. “This isn’t who you are, Sukuna. You’re the King of Curses. Or have you already forgotten those days you would accept those female offerings and you’d fuck them until they’re out of their mind, then discard them as if they were nothing but dirty laundry? You were strong back then, majestic, but now you’re fucking weak,” You spat out. You know you’re spurning him on and pushing all his buttons, but somehow saying those words gave you great relief.
Now, it was time to see his patience snap, which shouldn’t take long since his grip had turned bruising on your hips, and he growled under his breath. “Don’t do this, Y/N.”
“You’re the one who shouldn’t do this,” you growl back, “You haven’t been the same ever since that pathetic excuse of a woman came. Don’t you remember that she left her husband and children just because she was a whore for you? Because you pleased her better than her human spouse?” You push him away with enough force that it sends him a few feet back, and Sukuna scowls. “She doesn’t love you! She only stays by your side because she was nothing but a filthy rat before and now you treat her like a queen! She’s nothing but a lowly human who —”
“Enough!”
“ —made you believe you’re someone she could love! Don’t you get it, Sukuna? We’re Curses, she’s a human! She will never understand us! You’re lying to yourself if you believe she doesn’t cry herself to sleep at the thought she’s next to a monster —”
“I said, that’s enough!” In a flash, Sukuna was in front of you, clawed hands wrapped around your neck. It would be so easy for him to break you and kill you right then and there, your feet already above ground and your exposed breasts just within his sight. Nevertheless, you only laugh cruelly at his agitation. “You know nothing,” he squeezed your neck tighter, “about what it’s like to love someone. How dare you say that she does not love me?”
“I know, because if you let me, I could love you a lot more,” you choked out, clawing at his arm, but he is unfazed by your efforts.
Sukuna lets go of you. You drop in the water as you gasp and breathe for air, but Sukuna’s wide eyes bring you back to reality. It’s that face, the one that tells you he’s been unaware this whole time, and the sudden confession drops on him like a cannonball.
Like a switch has been flipped off, you revert back to your normal self. Using your arms to shield your body, you run away from him, about to make it to the bank when his voice stops you. “Do you truly mean it? Do you love me?”
You close your eyes. “Yes. I always have.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You wouldn’t have believed me,” you pull your hair to the side, squeezing the water out. “You barely believe me now, so why believe me if I said it earlier? It wouldn’t have changed anything.”
“Then why were you calling for me? I heard you crying. You said you wanted me to help you.”
You whip around, tears furiously flowing down. “I’m going to the jujutsu sorcerers myself tomorrow and let them exorcise me. There’s no point to my existence, Sukuna. I’m tired of all the wars. I’m tired of fighting for someone I don’t even care about. I’m tired of loving you and watching you look at her instead of me, when I’m the one who’s always been there for you. I’m tired of —” you hiccup, embarrassed that he was now watching you break down in front of him. You were a powerful curse, dammit, you shouldn’t even be crying about this. “—I’m tired of not being the one you love.”
Sukuna stands there gaping. You don’t give him another chance to speak as you walk away, seemingly a new habit of yours now. You haven’t always been this way. Patience was never one of your strongest points, but being around Sukuna for the past years taught you a thing or two. That all shatters now that you’ve grown tired, the shame of patheticness crawling between your legs as you retrieve your robes, not bothering to dry up.
He exhales through his nose, claws balled into a fist to restrain his anger. Now he wants to be gentle with you the way he is with her?
Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic – you keep chanting to yourself. You’re not there yet, but there have already been rumours that you’re the Queen of Curses, the only one who ever managed to be Sukuna’s equal. Although men feared you, they also lusted after you.
How could they not? You were a sexual prowess, and a fearsome figure in the battlefield. Men are confused whether they want to be with you, or if the mere utter of your name had them fainting. Sukuna, on the other hand? He didn’t care. He didn’t notice you. You’re nothing but a war tool to him, his friend and companion during his dark days when he grew bored and would randomly slaughter homes and enslave people.
He’s not the same anymore. The Sukuna you once knew was gone, and you turned back away from him bitterly, the blue flames licking up your skin as a symbol of anger, hatred, but most of all, humiliation.
That night, you didn’t go back to the temple.
And a small, quiet village who’d been loyal to both you and Sukuna had become the victims of your frustration.
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The next day, silence echoes in the hallways of the temple. You couldn’t hear even the soft breathings or whispers of the servants. Your ears perk up once you cross the threshold, dropping your bloody katana and releasing your hair from its red tie. The temple servants must’ve already heard that their relatives died the night before – all thanks to your inability to handle your feelings.
It’s okay, you tell yourself, you’ve done this a thousand times before with Sukuna: killing people, enjoying their screams, basking in their surrender and painting the image of hope fading from their eyes into the back of your school.
You’ve done this a thousand times before with Sukuna, but this is the first time you’ve done it alone. You only ever took their lives because Sukuna asked you. Because he assured it was a way to keep gaining strength and to make a name for yourself; that being a powerful Curse was the best feeling in the world and no amount of woman or alcohol felt greater than power.
Sukuna lied.
To him, his heaven was in her arms.
And you? Utterly lost. Broken. With nowhere else to go. As you enter your room, you’re greeted by the sight of a made up bed and cleaned sheets. Even after slaughtering families, your servants still cleaned your room out of fear, and the previous blood from the other day had been wiped away with bleach.
Then, you see yourself from the floor length mirror. White yukata that might as well have been red from the amount of absorbed into the cloth draped over your curves, and your eyes lost what little light it once held. Blood drips from your fingertips and you swipe your thumb over your lip, a small gasp falling to your lips as you recall a little girl, barely five or six winters old, with the exact same lips trembling as she begs you not to kill her parents.
It’s the splitting image of you when you were younger, when you ran around cities unintentionally wreaking havoc out of confusion over your powers. You have no parents. No past. No memory. You just came into existence because of mankind’s grief, and it only made sense you carried that burden more than anyone else.
But you’re not this. You are not a killer. You didn’t enjoy it. You never enjoyed it. Even when Sukuna convinced you that you did, there was no forgetting the fact that you cried yourself to sleep when you were younger at the thought you grew more powerful because you added to the heartbreak of people.
The word heartbreak lights up a bulb in your head. That’s right...you’re the Curse of Heartbreaks – of pain, of grief, of mourning, of suffering.
If you couldn’t have what you want, then why should he? Isn’t it already written in your fate that your destiny is to carry those pain, inflict it onto others, and make them realize they’re wasting their lives believing a lie that love prevails all? That love prevails even someone as irredeemable as Sukuna?
You won’t allow it.
Without wasting another second, you dash to her room. Sukuna’s out to deal with some clan leaders for whatever ritual he wants to perform or out to get more healing potions. The girl never went anywhere else outside the temple because both jujutsu sorcerers and curses are always ready to prance, and she’s smart to not put herself in harm’s way.
But you are harm’s way.
You run so fast through the hallways that you keep bumping into corners, denting the wooden boards and the floor cracking beneath you. You don’t stop until you reach their room, swiping the doors open, and sliding on the doorframe when you see she’s still asleep.
She and Sukuna must’ve stayed up all night performing...activities. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have been this weak. She’s a lively and bubbly girl, she wouldn’t have – you freeze in your spot.
Tentatively, you reach over to where she softly snored, tilting her to face you by grabbing her shoulder. She only groans in her slumber before burying herself under the covers. “Sukuna...” her brows furrow as she twitches, probably dreaming about something, and she kicks the covers off with a whine. That’s when you see it. And then you see everything.
A small – barely there – bump on her tummy is half concealed by her lace gown that reveals her skin free from scars, a sign that she’d never really been in battle. But she’s carrying his child, and even though you’re not the one pregnant, you feel bile rise up in your throat.
Your knees wobble and you fall beside their bed, your palms shaky as you place it over her belly. First, you hear a baby cry, and then, a man’s scream.
Sukuna carries his daughter’s form, the little thing bundled up safely in towels while her father coos at her. She’s so small, vulnerable and exposed to the horrors of the world, but she didn’t need to worry about that. Sukuna would protect her, and so would you.
You stand outside the room, a small smile on your face with your arms crossed on your chest. Well, you’ll be damned. You’re not a fan of children and babies in general, but you do admit the infant’s cries sound like music to your ears. It means she’s alive and healthy, and even though her existence is nearly impossible considering her father is a curse, the girl was born perfectly fine and well.
Suddenly, a dark, ominous presence looms over the room. You stand on guard, hands drawing your blade to prepare for whatever or whoever attacked you. You’re not a fan of the kid and or her mother regardless, but Sukuna is left open and vulnerable for attack in this state. He’s too busy fawning over his kid to sense any incoming assault.
However, something doesn’t feel right with this one. That dark, suffocating feeling doesn’t travel. Instead, it’s stagnant and somewhat docile, as if it has no intention to attack, but its threat still remains. It doesn’t even seem like it came from anywhere or it’s about to arrive. Rather...it’s like it was always there to begin with.
Your eyes widen at the realization.
What would happen if a curse...fathered someone else? Would it be human? Or would it be something worse?
You slam the doors open, and everything happens in slow motion. The baby’s mother reaches out to a nearly sobbing Sukuna, eager to see her child, but just as her small, grubby hands wrap around her mother’s pointer finger, it falls. She stops breathing, her arm falling limp, and Sukuna stops cooing. The baby’s cries cease, staring up at her father and extending her small arms to cup his face.
It seems he realized it too, but it was too late.
“Sukuna, don’t!”
The child giggles, her knuckles brushing against her father’s jaw, and the King of Curses lose his grip on her. You watch as they both fall, a garbled scream leaving your lips. The midwife runs to save the child before she’s crushed under Sukuna’s weight, but she too has fallen victim the moment her skin made contact with the baby’s.
No...it’s not even a child or an infant. It’s not even human.
It’s the Curse of Death.
And at her birth, the world would grow dark, darker than what you and Sukuna have already caused the world to be. Her words would sound like a fork scraping against a plate; torturous, excruciatingly painful, and enough to have you begging for death. The simple brush of skin upon skin takes away the energy, power, and life even of the most powerful beings. After all, what is stronger than Death? It was the only absolute truth in the world – which all things must come to an end.
You retract your hand from her body, sweat dripping on your hairline. That thing growing inside her body...it must not be born. Sukuna would die.
With a silent scream, you whip out the dagger and force it upon her stomach. Or at least, you would’ve, if not for the blade that had peaked out your chest and nearly poking Sukuna’s lover’s back. Blood stained the silver blade, leaking into your lap.
You drop your dagger.
“I trusted you,” Sukuna begins calmly, pulling out the sword from your body in one swift movement. He ignores the way you cough out blood, your head shaking as if to deny his words. His face remains expressionless as he wipes your blood on his thigh, dropping the potions to aid her pregnancy beside her on the bed. Sukuna crouches down to your level and pulls you by the hair until he’s close enough that you could see his two other eyes also glare at you. “Have I not made it clear she is to be untouched? Just because you’re unable to handle your petty jealousy, does not give you a goddamn right to kill what’s mine.”
“What grows in her is a monster,” you sneer, struggling against his grip. You’ve forgotten that his sword is imbued with his special curses that would immediately exorcise any weaker Curse, but because you’re on the same level as him, you die slowly, and a lot more painfully.
“That child is mine. It was created out of love.”
“It is not a child!” You argue, “It will be born as the Curse of Death, one that will kill both you and your little lover!”
“And if you’re lying?”
You grit your teeth. “I would never lie to you, Sukuna.”
His brow shots upwards, a smirk creasing his lips. “Is that so?” he shoves you until you slam against the wall. Sukuna treads to you dangerously, his tongue peeking out to swipe at his lips. You know that darkness in his eyes better than most – it’s the look he always wore when he decides to go for the kill.  “Then, since you’re always honest to me, tell me this: do you still love me?”
You don’t even think about it.
“Yes. That’s why I’m telling you to get rid of that thing before you and everyone else dies.”
“A concerned little lamb,” he hums in amusement. “That makes it clear then,” Before you could process what happens next, you take your last breath as Sukuna rips out your heart with his claws. It’s not an actual heart, but rather the core of your Curse manifestation and the gem-like object is crushed under his fists. “Queen of Curses, Curse of Heartbreak,” he drops the pieces of your heart into your lap, Sukuna growing more and more blurry in front of you. “Die the same way you came to life: with a terrible, terrible heartbreak.”
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Sometimes, you can’t help but feel like you’d been an awful person in your past life. It’s not that you’d ever done anything illegal or rebellious. Your parents are quite proud of your immaculately clean school record, and your grades are even above average. The school’s faculty absolutely adores you for your preppy personality, always volunteering to help others and taking the lead when no one wants to budge.
You suppose you’re quite a role model, but what no one understands is that maybe you’re always going out of your way to be kind with someone because deep down, you have a nagging feeling you’ve once been a terrible person.
Sighing, you wrap your arms around your legs as you hug it to yourself, whacking your forehead in your knees to get rid of those impending thoughts. There’s really no reason behind it, more like an intuition that you’ve forgotten about something important.
You’re pulled out of your trance when warm, soft hands push your hair back, and a pair of even softer lips land at your shoulders. Immediately, you smile, turning your head to peer at the dark-haired beauty that shyly peeks up at you under his long lashes. He keeps peppering kisses all the way up to your neck until you laugh from being ticklish, and it doesn’t take long before Megumi has you smiling again.
He knows you better than you know yourself.
“What’s wrong?” he mumbles on your shoulder, his warm hand drawing comforting circles on your lower back. Again, the simple gesture ignites something within you, something about oddly familiar even if you don’t feel like you’ve experienced it firsthand. “You’ve been deep in thought lately.”
“Lately?”
“Hmm,” he moves up your face, pressing a long, solid kiss at your forehead. It makes you relax and sigh happily, unable to help your urge to crawl into his lap and bury yourself in his arms. “Ever since Itadori enrolled here, you’ve always looked at him...quite weirdly. Is he bothering you? You know if he does something weird, I won’t hesitate to feed him to the Divine Dogs.”
That elicits a laugh from you. Now that you think about it, you’ve been awfully quite ever since Gojo sensei came back with that overly excited kid. You don’t know why, you don’t even realize his presence affects you, but you don’t want Megumi to worry about it when you can’t understand it yourself. So you hug him closer until the scent of fresh laundry wafts your senses, and you brush his scalp tenderly.
Megumi purrs.
“It’s nothing you should worry about, I’m sure I’m just tired from exams.” Unlike Megumi, you’re not a jujutsu sorcerer. You came from a totally human family that lived a totally mundane humane life, unaware that curses exist and people actually die from it. If it wasn’t for Megumi saving you that one time in school when you unknowingly stayed behind the same night the Occult Club did and ran into some freaky monsters, you would continue living without any idea of it.
It wasn’t always easy accepting Megumi’s true identity, but you loved him more than anyone else, and so hiding in his dorms while lying to your parents you were going to sleep over a friend’s house has become somewhat a daily occurrence. You’ve even made friends with the lovely Nobara and Maki senpai who welcomes you with open arms – although maybe it’s because you never fail to bring them food from the city and some fashionable items for Nobara.
Megumi senses your hesitance to talk about it, so he drops it and enjoys the feeling of your skin on him instead, your breaths falling in the same rhythm. Tonight, he and his classmates would go out on a mission again because the idiotic Gojo-sensei was away overseas, and as always, you’d stay up late in Megumi’s room, waiting for him to come back right after he promises you you’ll come back safely.
You close your eyes and wrap yourself around him like a koala, and Megumi laughs at how small you are. He doesn’t brush you off, though. He knows you fear for his life despite the fact you trust him with his abilities, but you can’t help it. It’s only natural to worry about your loved one, after all.
For now, he’ll have to keep cuddling and kissing you for as long as he could before he leaves.
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How does one soothe their lover who’s come from battles?
You scramble away from Megumi’s bed the moment you’re waken up by the sound of steady knocks. The first aid kit lays on his study desk, which you swipe with sleepy eyes as his baggy clothes crinkle in your smaller figure. It’s rare that Megumi lets you see his state during after battles, but today, tonight, he allowed you to stay even after his mission.
Your steps are nothing but hurried when you slide the door open, his name about to fall from your lips until you’re greeted by a young man with strawberry blonde hair and black marks on his face. It’s Itadori Yuuji, but at the same time, it’s not him...
His cheerfulness and airheaded self is gone, replaced with a much sinister entity residing within it. The man before you sighs, frowning in distaste at your clothes – your boyfriend’s clothes – before he invites himself in and shuts the door behind him.
Sukuna hums, pulling you closer to him until there is no space between your skin and his, his face nuzzling in your neck. “I’m home,” his lips brush the bare skin of your neck, his breath warm and ticklish. “I made it home to you, my Queen. Safely like you asked.”
“Wha-?”
“I’m sorry,” he whispers so quietly you wonder if you heard it at all. “For not believing you, for not seeing you. It took me thousands of years to realize where I fucked it all up, but I know the truth now. And you were right – you were always right. I hope in this life I no longer break your heart in the same way you soothe mine.”
 - - - - - 
A/N: Sounds like a pretty confusing ending, which it is, and I was gonna leave it at that but because I don’t want anyone to go “HUH?” after reading this, I’m just gonna explain :D Sukuna eventually realized how toxic he was to the reader in her past life, how he convinced her to be a bad person with him then emotionally abandoning her the moment he found his happiness. She was the Curse of Heartbreak, and her powers remained even after she was “exorcised.” 
She broke his heart by showing him how he lost everything after her exorcism and his lover’s death (because he also saw the future that the child was the Curse of Death) and all those years of suffering eventually made him realize that the power of heartbreak was the one that destroyed him. So in the present, when the reader was reincarnated as a human girl, he finally found her and tries to make up for his mistakes because she was actually his first love, he just didn’t realize it because both of them were somewhat barbaric and psychotic. Lmk what you think, I hope you liked it!
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kiyosamu · 3 years
Text
back up.
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pairing: rintaro suna x female reader
genre: dark, angst, (slight) enemies to comfort, some comedy in the beginning. // one shot, 3.9k words
synopsis: being the younger sister of the miya twins definitely has its advantages and its... disadvantages. sure, it comes with all of the teasing from both them and their friends, but it gets more serious when people hold grudges on them and try to take out their anger on you.
content warnings: descriptions of assault, threats, sexual assault (no penetration), violence, injuries
---♡---
“Osamu!” You screeched, attempting to push your older brother off of you. “Get him off!”
Atsumu had tackled you to the ground and was sitting on your back, cackling with satisfaction as he pinned you down.
“I can’t help ya.” Osamu smirked as he walked by. He sat on the couch adjacent to you and Atsumu with an amused glimmer in his eyes. “Shouldn’t have eaten his pudding.”
“Why do you care if I eat his pudding?!” You growled, thrashing around under Atsumu to get some kind of leverage while he sat on you with all of his weight, rendering your limbs useless.
“If you eat his pudding, then he eats mine.” Osamu shrugged, “And I hate it when he does that.”
“Take it up with him! I just grabbed whatever was closest. You guys are so weird with your labeled food!” You tried to throw a punch at Atsumu and he caught your fist easily, snickering when you let out a loud whine. “Atsumu, get OFF!”
“No can do, kiddo.” He grinned, “Ya know what happens when you eat our food.”
“I’m gonna tell mom.” You mumbled.
“That’s dirty. Don’t bring mom into this.” Osamu interrupted and you shot a death glare at him.
“Stop involving yourself! I don’t need your commentary.”
“Don’t be such a tattle tale.” Atsumu teased, finally easing up on you and taking a bit of the weight off of your back. You gasped dramatically as you could finally take a full, deep breath.
“Thank you, god. You’re heavy.” You said quietly, deciding to fully submit and just lay down on the living room floor.
“Did you just call me fat?!” Atsumu gasped, crawling over to your face to look you in the eyes.
“Yes.” You nodded. Atsumu immediately turned to Osamu, who burst out laughing at his offended expression.
“Laugh it up, ‘Samu. If I’m fat then so are you.” Atsumu muttered as he finally stood up to take a seat next to Osamu on the couch.
“I can’t stand either of you.” You mumbled, grabbing a pillow and throwing it at them.
“Why’s baby Miya throwing a temper tantrum?” A familiar, monotone voice was coming from the entry way. You hadn’t even heard him come in.
“None of your business, Suna.” You glared at the tall boy. He responded with a crooked smirk while he walked in with his hands plunged deep in his pockets.
Suna was over at your house almost every day. He also teased you as much as your brothers did, if not more.
“Jeez, what’s with the attitude?” He snorted, “You sound like Atsumu. I swear you’re triplets.”
Suna jumped over the back of the couch and plopped down between the twins. You sat up, looking at the three of them for a second before getting up and retreating to your room.
“Aw, come on baby Miya. Where are you going?” Suna called after you while you walked down the hallway.
“I need to get ready. I’m going out tonight.”
You retreated to your bedroom and sat down at your vanity. Before you could even pull out a hair brush, Osamu had burst into your bedroom.
“Where ya going?” He asked, leaning against the doorway.
“Out?” You replied, getting up to sift through your closet for something to wear.
Your friend had set you up on a blind date tonight. Your mom had held your brothers back a year and since you were only 10 months apart, you were all in the same year. This meant you all had the same classmates, knew all of the same people, and they were constantly in your business.
When your friend had told you about this guy, he sounded too good to be true. He had gone to another school that was a bit further away, but since you had all graduated a few months prior you figured a bit of distance wasn’t that big of a deal. After all, you were all adults now.
“Out where?” Atsumu asked, pushing the door open all the way and standing against the other side of the frame.
“On a date…” you muttered. The moment you said that, your brothers came in and promptly sat on your bed.
“Where are you going?”
“With who?”
“Where did you meet him?”
“How old is he?”
“Is he picking you up?”
“How long have you known him for?”
“Oh my god.” You groaned, pointing at your door. “Can you guys get out? I need to get ready. Why are you asking so many questions?”
“Believe it or not, kiddo, we just want to make sure you’re safe.” Osamu said, standing up and walking over to pat you on your head.
“Ugh, ‘Samu, you guys don’t have to treat me like a kid still. I’m an adult now, you know.” You said, crossing your arms.
“But you’ll always be our little sister.” Atsumu smiled. “Mom can’t keep track of all of us all the time. So we need to do it for her.” His words were genuine. Even though the three of you bickered and teased each other, you were protective of each other. You knew your brothers would do anything for you.
You’d never tell them, but you’d do anything for them, too.
“If anyone needs keeping track of, it’s you two.” You smirked. Atsumu rolled his eyes and Osamu shrugged you off.
Your brothers tried to pry more information out of you, but you only told them the bare minimum. After all, you barely even knew anything. You didn’t even know his name.
“So? Where’s she going?” Suna asked as the twins came back into the living room. He was sprawled out on the couch and flicking through the tv channels.
“That restaurant downtown. The one a few bus stops before your house.” Atsumu said with crossed arms. “She won’t let us drive her.”
“I’ll take the bus with her.” Suna shrugged, “It’s on the way, so I’ll make sure she gets there safely.”
“Good. Then you can tell us who she’s meetin’ there.” Osamu smirked.
Whether or not Osamu had asked, Suna was planning on finding that out regardless.
“Call is if you need anythin’!” Atsumu called to you as you walked to the door.
“We’ll come! Just call us, okay?” Osamu added.
“I’ll be fine, but thanks. I’ll text you when I’m on my way home.” You said loud enough for them to hear you in the other room. “Love you.”
“Love ya!” They replied in unison.
“Are you sure you’re not just spying on me?” You mumbled just loud enough for Suna to hear you from the seat behind you.
“Just decided to go home, baby Miya.” He replied, leaning forward. “Why? Do you want me to spy on you?”
“No!” You turned around and squinted your eyes at him. He looked back at you with a playful smirk and then went back to paying attention to his phone.
You got off the bus and hesitated for a moment, half expecting Suna to get off after you.
Except he didn’t.
You sighed, feeling the nerves creeping up and realizing you really were all alone now. Meeting a man you didn’t know, and unsure of what to expect.
You looked around and pulled out your phone to check the message from your friend again to refresh yourself on the characteristics of your blind date.
Dark hair, about 5’10, dark green eyes, ah-
“Miya, is it?” A man fitting the exact description was standing in front of you, a rose in hand and suspicious smirk across his lips.
“Yes, sorry, what’s your name?” Your voice was trembling and you had no idea why. You chalked it up to nerves, but it might’ve been the uneasiness you’d felt when you made eye contact with him.
“Daishou Suguru.” He said melodically. He handed you the rose and lightly pressed his hand to your lower back. “Shall we go inside? I have a table for us.”
You nodded, walking inside with him.
——
“So, Miya, any relation to those twins?” He asked, leaning in with his chin on his palm. He stared at you intently as if he wanted to soak in every word you were about to say.
“Oh, yeah. They’re my brothers.” You smiled. Even though they irritated you, you always liked to talk about them. You were proud of your brothers and all of their accomplishments, and talking about them was easier than having to come up with things to say about yourself.
“Ah,” Daishou nodded, thanking the server as she passed your dishes to the two of you. “Those two are real shit talkers, huh?”
“Yeah,” you laughed, a bit too casually for the occasion and realized you’d never even heard this guy’s name prior to tonight. “Wait, why do you say that?”
You were familiar with pretty much all of the volleyball players that your brothers had faced off against. Inarizaki’s own team were like family, but the other teams were around so often you’d gotten to know quite a few of the players from other schools just by going to the games and tournaments.
“Played against them once.” Daishou mumbled, the previously warm expression in his eyes was gone. “I don’t know which one I hate more. The mouthy setter or the spiker with the ego.”
You got goosebumps when he spoke these words. These weren’t normal rivalry grudges. This sounded like pure, unprecedented hatred.
You started to feel uncomfortable.
You hummed in acknowledgement. You weren’t sure how to reply, but you wanted him to know you’d heard him and were listening.
“So, how are you going to make it up to me?” Daishou asked. You froze, looking up at him.
His previously cold expression was warm again, cheeks round with a big smile. “I’m kidding.”
“Oh,” you giggled nervously and decided to focus on eating your dinner.
The rest of the evening went by okay. Little comments like that would have you unsure if there were ulterior motives, but when you’d try to look into it you’d see a happy smile from your date. Maybe he really was just joking, and was nervously trying to make you laugh.
When it was time to go, Daishou paid for the both of you and you left the restaurant together.
It was dark outside and pouring rain. You sighed, looking down the street at the empty bus stop. The bus wouldn’t be coming for another 20 minutes.
“Let me wait with you for the bus.” He smiled, wrapping an arm around your waist again. “I wouldn’t want you out here all alone.”
You reluctantly accepted but tried to keep your distance. While his arm was around you, your arms were crossed and you were trying to stay as far from him as possible. Something was off, and you wanted to get as far away from him as quickly as possible.
You sent your brothers a quick text to let them know which bus you’d be on.
“Let’s wait over here. Out of the rain.”
Before you could reply, he grabbed your hand and yanked you down a small alley. It was covered by the overhead of the buildings roof, but was pitch black.
“I had a nice time tonight.” Daishou purred, pressing his body against you and trapping you against the cold brick wall.
“Yeah, me too…” You said quietly.
Only a few more minutes.
Daishou leaned down, trailing his hand up your chest and wrapping his long fingers around your throat. Your breath hitched and you felt tears well up in your eyes. You knew something was wrong. You knew something was going to happen. Your gut feeling was never wrong.
You tensed up, preparing to punch him the moment you felt pressure from his fingers. Instead of choking you, however, his hand rested gingerly on your skin and he leaned down to kiss you.
You kissed back, completely uninterested but not wanting him to know that.
“So, you are easy.” He smirked against your lips. He grabbed your hands and held them against the wall. His tongue started to force its way into your mouth and as you tried to break away, his body pressed into you harder, making you unable to move.
“Please stop,” you whimpered, “I don’t- I don’t want this.”
“Just relax.” He dug his fingers into your wrist, holding both of your hands together with just one of his, and using his free hand to move down your body and fondle your chest.
“Daishou- I-“ you gasped when he bit down on your neck. It didn’t feel good at all, and was just a swearing pain.
“You know, it really is a shame that you’re related to those two.” He muttered against your skin. “You’re a pretty girl. Probably would’ve liked you had your shitty brothers not have been such dicks.”
“Please, please just get off-“ You sniffled. You fought your brothers all the time, so why couldn’t you get him off? Why were you tensing up? Why were you crying? Just push him off, just push and run.
“Shut up.” He muttered. He slipped his hand into your pants and you let out a sob.
“No, no! Get off of me! Stop!” You were crying now, your voice getting louder as you attempted to break from his hold.
Unfortunately, he was just too strong for you. He smacked you across the face and pressed his palm to your mouth.
“I told you to shut up.” He growled. “Blame the twins for this.”
You were sobbing now. Completely terrified as this man assaulted your body in this dark alley and all you could think about was how badly you wanted to get out of there. How badly you wished your brothers had spied on you, how much you wanted them to protect you in that moment.
Daishou glared at you as your wails got louder, pulling back and slapping you across the face so hard you thought you were seeing stars.
“That’s what happens when stupid girls like you don’t listen. Now be quiet!”
Your vision was blurred and dark and you thought you were about to pass out when you felt the weight of his body completely lifted off of you.
You immediately felt relief, not in the form of safety by any means but you felt like you could somewhat breathe again. The blow he’d given you to the head had you feeling dizzy and you sunk to the ground against the wall.
“You fucking-“ *whack*
“piece-“ *whack*
“of shit!” *whack*
You squinted your eyes open at the familiar voice. The same voice that had annoyed you earlier that afternoon. The voice that immediately gave you a sense of safety in that dark alley.
“Suna..?” You barely managed to squeak out. You were sure he didn’t hear you considering you could barely hear your own voice.
“You’re going to regret this for the rest of your life.” Suna spat, landing another punch directly to his face. “If you have issues with someone, take it up with them like a fucking man.” He growled. “Instead of preying on their little sister. You’re pathetic.”
Suna stood up off the ground and all you could do was watch through squinted eyes and your knees pulled to your chest.
He pulled something out of his pocket, it shined under the street lamps and you weren’t sure what it was. He grabbed Daishou by the collar of his shirt, forcing him to stand up before pressing the object against his throat.
“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t just kill you right here.”
You closed your eyes, covering your face in your arms when you heard Daishou start to sob. He sounded like you did a few minutes ago.
“I’d go to jail for her, no questions asked. Trust me when I tell you that I won’t hesitate.”
Suna was much bigger than him. Stronger. Taller.
“Hey,” Suna growled, pushing him against the brick wall. Daishou looked as light as a rag doll when Suna was throwing him around. “Answer me when I’m talking to you.”
“Please- I don’t- I’m sorry-“ Daishou choked out.
Suna laughed. A completely genuine laugh that made your skin crawl.
“Are you? Are you sorry?”
You looked back up at the two men, closer to you now and you could see that the object Suna had against his throat was a knife.
“Suna, wait-“ You tried to say to him, but your voice was still shaky and quiet.
Daishou was sobbing now, tears flowing from his eyes and wails ripping from his throat.
“Not so tough when you’re the one on the receiving end, huh?” Suna glared, putting his knife back in his pocket and throwing Daishou back onto the ground.
“Get the fuck out of here before I change my mind.” Suna said in a dark, low tone you hadn’t heard from him before. “And if you ever come near her again, I really will kill you.”
Daishou scrambled to his feet, holding his head and trying to stop the bleeding on his face that was surely from one of the rings Suna was wearing on his fingers.
You trembled against the wall, staring at Suna’s back as he watched Daishou leave. As soon as he was out of eyesight, he quickly turned to you and crouched down.
“Hey, it’s okay.” His voice softened, his gaze was kind and he hesitated before touching you. “Can I help you up? Can you stand?”
You nodded weakly and he crouched down, putting his arms under yours and standing you up. You could feel your legs wobbling and held onto his arm for support.
“Ugh,” He sighed, the pain in his voice coming through when he saw the true damage that’d been done to you. His hands carefully put you back together as best he could. He buttoned your shirt and pants back up, and shrugged off his jacket to put it on you instead.
You grabbed onto the sleeves and pulled them over your hands. It was even bigger than your brothers’ jackets, and you sunk into the soft material trying to grasp onto any little piece of comfort you could get.
Suna picked you up and held you against his chest. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he supported you from under your legs.
“How did you know where to find me?” You asked, your voice still quiet and strained.
“They told me what bus you were taking home so I came to make sure you got on okay. When it came and left without you I got worried and looked around, and then I heard you crying.” Suna let out a stressed out breath, “You know, I really would’ve done it.”
“I’m glad you didn’t.” You said, closing your eyes. You couldn’t even process what had just happened and didn’t know what you would’ve done if Suna wasn’t with you right now.
——
Suna’s house was only down the road, and you agreed to go there and get cleaned up before heading back home.
“Here,” Suna handed you a pair of comfortable pants and a t-shirt. “They’ll be way too long on you, but it’s better than your soaking wet clothes you’re wearing now.”
“Thanks…” you accepted the offer, stepping into the bathroom to change.
When you came out, Suna had changed too, but his eyes widened with shock when he saw the extent of your injuries.
He swore under his breath and approached you. When he reached out and touched your neck, his cool hand soothed the sting of the deep bite Daishou had embedded in your neck.
“Can’t believe he fucking bit you.” Suna’s voice was so quiet he was practically whispering, and you weren’t sure if he was talking to you or just thinking out loud. He trailed his hand around your throat and pressed his fingers on the deep bruises forming from when you’d been choked.
“That helps,” you sighed, leaning into his touch. Suna pulled his hand back as if he wasn’t even aware he’d been touching you.
“What do you want to do now? Should we call Osamu and Atsumu? Want me to take you home?” He placed his hands on your shoulders and continued looking you over. Suna brushed your hair out of the way, inspecting your face closely and grunting when he looked straight on at the black eye starting to appear.
You winced when his thumb grazed over the side of your head and he immediately pulled back.
“You were hit really hard. You should go to the hospital.”
You shook your head. “I don’t… I don’t want to go anywhere. Not right now, anyway.” You stepped over to his bed, sitting on the edge. “Can I just lie down?”
Suna nodded and pulled the blankets open, gesturing for you to crawl into his bed. He pulled the blankets on top of you and patted your arm.
“I’m just going to go into the kitchen to get a glass of water. I’ll shut the light off so you can rest a bit.”
The moment you couldn’t feel his presence in the room anymore, your mind travelled back to where you were earlier that night. Being attacked in a dark alley and suddenly you were feeling suffocated.
You sat up, gasping for air and Suna ran in, turning the light on and sitting next to you.
“Its okay, it’s okay,” He murmured, wrapping his arm around you and pulling you into him. He stroked your hair and let you cry out your fear as long as you needed to.
“I don’t…” You sniffled, “I don’t know what happened. When you left I just felt so scared all over again.”
“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, pressing his cheek against the top of your hair.
“Please don’t leave me alone.”
Suna nodded and stood up to go turn the light off again.
“Wait, where are you going?” You felt the panic start to take over again when the bed dipped down beside you.
“I’m right here.” His voice was kind. The Suna you’d known to always tease and annoy you had been replaced by something you could only describe as being your safety net.
Maybe this side of him was always here, and you just hadn’t ever noticed.
You laid back down beside him, moving close and nuzzling into his chest just like you had when he was carrying you. He wrapped his arms around you and softly trailed his hand up and down your back.
“I’ve got you, okay?” He whispered, “You’re safe with me. I promise. Just try and get some rest and we can worry about everything in the morning. You’ve been through enough tonight.”
You nodded and felt the relief wash over you. You knew you had a lot to deal with tomorrow, but having Suna by your side made it seem a little less scary.
Thinking back, he always was by your side. He would defend you when the twins would get too rough, and was definitely guilty of giving guys an intimidating glare when they’d try to hit on you.
You sighed, soaking in the feeling of his warmth.
You knew that from them on, you wanted nothing more than to be on his side.
And for him to stay on yours.
484 notes · View notes
makeste · 3 years
Text
BnHA 326: What’s up Kids, It’s Me, Your Old Pal Stain
Previously on BnHA: Ochako shamed the U.A. Clown Mob into letting Deku go back inside his own fucking school by giving them an hour-long speech about how not to be humongous dickheads. Kouta and Gigantic Fox Lady saved the manga by being the only ones brave enough to give Deku a hug. Shouto was all “man, all this togetherness sure does remind me of that promise you made that we would handle Touya together which you immediately bailed on, doesn’t it, Dad.” Aizawa was all, “for the one and a half people out there who thought that my losing an eye and a leg might actually make me less sexy, I’m very happy to prove you wrong.” All Might was all, “[standing outside the U.A. fortress alone in the rain talking to someone or something??].” Like seriously, what was up with that though.
Today on BnHA: All Might is all “here I am in Kamino having a belated mid-life crisis because Deku abandoned me and I’m a terrible mentor and everything sucks and I hate myself.” Stain is all, “don’t make me come over there and give you a ten page speech about why you’re still the goat while menacingly holding you at swordpoint the entire time” because idk if you knew this guys, but Stain is pretty crazy actually. Anyway so he does that, and then All Might gets all emotional, and then the lady from chapter 92 shows up and gives All Might’s statue an encouraging pep talk, and then Horikoshi is all “and it even stopped raining lol can you believe this shit I’m not even a little bit subtle,” and he really isn’t. But I still got emotional anyway, because seeing people reassure All Might that everything he’s struggled for his entire life hasn’t been in vain just got to me okay. Horikoshi knows I am weak to the All Might feels and he just goes for the jugular every time, that bastard.
lmao. “in the neverending downpour, All Might is...” yeah, thank you, glad we’re getting right to that then
“All Might is driving 95 mph in his busted ass car in the pouring rain, is what he’s doing.” huh
so basically a day or two after his adopted child refused to accept the handmade bento that he packed with love, my man is out here acting like he’s got nothing to live for anymore. this sure bodes well for certain prophecies on which the clock is still ominously ticking down
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his fucking face though omg. is it weird that I’m kind of hoping more people ambush him just because I think it’d be funny to see them get their asses kicked like the last bunch
(ETA: or maybe he will just stand there openly not giving a fuck and basically daring them to stab him!! get it together please All Might.)
side note, “anti-hero supporters” is such a strange way of saying “people who hate heroes”, which I’m assuming is what they actually wanted to say?? this makes it sound like it’s a group that really loves antiheroes. “these Hannibal stans have been a real menace lately. time to go deal with them”
ha ha ha, fucking ouch
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are you really gonna do it Horikoshi you bastard. are you really going to let that be the final encounter between the two characters whose relationship you once described as the vertical axis of the entire fucking story. are you really gonna?? huh??
huh
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you’re telling me you were driving 112 mph and you still didn’t get there in time. you’re losing your touch old man. lol Todo’s ice is almost fully melted already, how late were you
(ETA: so apparently this is taking place after the end of chapter 325, meaning he went to U.A., hung out for a bit, saw the kids come back with his bedraggled half-dead protégé in tow, watched as they shamed the civilians into some long-overdue character development, and then was all “welp, time to go argue with the hero-hating faction or something because I’m feeling useless.” and Edge just let him go, just like that. though to be fair I have to imagine it’s pretty hard to say no to All Fucking Might.)
also belated lol at the fact that the kids were all “yeahhhhhhh we are definitely not gonna touch that thing, let’s just leave it here, he doesn’t need it anyway.” probably the right call to make since they couldn’t get a hazmat team on such short notice
fuck. ha ha ha fucking ouch part two
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All Might please put that thing down before you get gangrene. also yeah, you dropped the ball, good for you to acknowledge it. nobody’s perfect and you did your best. but yeah you could have handled a lot of things completely differently. but I still love you
is Horikoshi really putting this flashback here. are you serious. what kind of fucking sadist
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look, I swear I’m not one of those people that runs up and down the street shouting “DEATH FLAG!!” at every third panel lol. but this shit screamed Death Flag when we originally got it, and it’s screaming DEATH FLAG!!! even more now. like with the capital letters and exclamation marks and all. and that’s just a fact. I don’t like it but that’s how it is
ffkdjslk
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“DID YOU READ THE SIGN??!” Horikoshi asks while zooming in maniacally because he thinks we’re blind or something. lol what
-- though actually, it only just occurred to me that this sign is actually written in English. I never really paid attention up until now and had been assuming it was written in Japanese and translated by the scanlators, but the writing here is clearly part of the original image. anyway so maybe that’s why he’s zooming in?? just to make sure everybody pays attention lol
okay fuck this
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see, this is the whole problem right here. once again All Might is all on his own. Deku’s self-destructive angst spiral was fortunately brought to a grinding halt because he actually has support from his friends and family and teachers and classmates. but All Might never had that same kind of support, and it’s made all the difference between the two of them, and not in a good way. Katsuki wasn’t wrong when he said All Might and Deku were both cut from the same cloth. but now when it’s All Might’s turn to go all “I WALK A LONELY ROAD~~” once again, there’s nobody in sight
just, after forty plus years of him carrying this torch, I just wish someone would finally come along to let him know he doesn’t have to. all those things that he wanted to say to Deku are also things that he needs and deserves to hear himself. Aizawa was making a little progress there, but now he’s got his sad zombie cloud boyfriend situation to deal with, and we can’t expect him and his perfect hair to solve all our problems. someone else has gotta step up
oh my god
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“you rang?” never mind I take it all back sob
omg why am I laughing. shit
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this man truly has the best PR game in the series. we were truly convinced he was gonna suddenly become a good guy and defend All Might against the other villains or some nonsense. as if this wasn’t the same man who decided on a whim that Iida Tensei deserved to be paralyzed, and that his fifteen-year-old brother deserved to die for daring to be upset about it
lol even All Might is all “I genuinely never saw this coming” lmao
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just want to say, for the record, I have always harbored a very sensible hatred toward Stain. feeling very vindicated right now. good job Past Me
adsfklwkfsdwgkj
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ffffwefjslkg. ghsdlkg. dsfkkkslkjldwkjrg
STAIN: heard you talking shit old man
ME: smh that’s what I thought you’d say you dumb fucking Stain
STAIN: how dare you talk about All Might that way
ME: gljfljgk
(ETA: in hindsight I have no idea how I didn’t clue in sooner that he didn’t recognize him -- or, well, ~didn’t recognize~ him, to be more accurate lol. I think it was the whole “is that a slight against the heroes?” thing that threw me. Viz’s translation makes it much clearer that he’s offended on behalf of All Might specifically, not heroes in general. anyways.)
sob. so All Might is all “yeah I don’t blame you for not recognizing me in this sweet leather jacket”
good thing he still knows how to do this party trick
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A+ reflexes on Stain’s part presumably pulling the sword back a few inches to keep this dumbass from impaling himself with his whole pufferfish routine. can you imagine if that was the gruesome death Nighteye foresaw. and he was just too embarrassed to say anything
lol anyways guess I was wrong about Stain everyone
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way to fucking go, Past Me. you really biffed this one
oh wait
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Stain sure is one wacky rollercoaster ride
oh fuck me lol I forgot how much I did not miss this
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(ETA: “this here is the sacred ground where All Might gave up the last of his power and turned into a shriveled old man!! please ignore the part where I admit to knowing all about that, and yet pretend not to recognize said man when he’s standing two feet in front of me.”)
Past Me, I know we’ve had our ups and downs these past ninety seconds, but I’m really starting to think you were on to something. this dude has always been kind of insufferable. always acting like his high horse is a fucking giraffe when it’s actually a Shetland pony
dammit now he’s got All Might going off on a depressed monologue
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oh my god my heart
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shit
why the fuck does that hit so hard. he became a hero because he couldn’t bear to just sit back and let bad things happen to people who didn’t deserve it. I mean that’s basically the same as every hero ever, right? so why does it still hit so fucking hard every single time though. what is it about seeing someone so determined to stand up for other people and fight on their behalf. it just never loses its impact no matter how many times I see that determination mirrored in so many of my favorite characters
“I wanted to make the world a better place.” omg. but you did, though. like seriously, I feel like people are always dogging on him for not being 100% perfect, and fandom really doesn’t give him enough credit for everything he still managed to accomplish. this man came of age at a time when Japan was by all accounts a total shitshow, and singlehandedly managed to bring about an era of peace that lasted for four fucking decades. can you imagine having peace for that long?? that’s longer than I’ve been alive. shit
and he gave people hope. he inspired them and protected them and made them feel safe. and no, he couldn’t save everyone, because he’s only one fucking dude (and also because the whole time AFO was also out there desperately working to undermine him so that he could keep preaching his narrative of “heroes are bad actually”). but you know what he did do, is inspire multiple new generations of heroes who, if they can all manage to work together, will finally be able to accomplish everything he never could
so yeah. forty years of peace, and inspired the “that’s how we all became the greatest heroes” generation -- that’s a fucking win in my book. talk about having a net positive impact on the world. lol anyways now I’m all fired up and ready to fight anyone who tries to talk any shit about you, All Might
“but what if I talk shit about myself” okay listen up All Might I’m gonna need you to try just a little bit harder to work with me here okay. please calm down and stop blaming yourself for every single bad thing that’s ever happened in the world. do you remember that time Bakugou was blaming himself for Kamino, and you gave him a hug and told him it wasn’t his fault, and that he was only a boy, and that even though he was strong, even strong people can struggle with the burdens they place on themselves, and that you were sorry for not seeing that earlier? do you remember all of that? that’s what I want someone to tell you too, dammit. anyway please stop breaking my heart please and thanks
wtf
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are you dead All Might
um
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I don’t even have the slightest idea what’s happening lol
oh snap did he grab him so they could hide??
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hold the fucking phone. don’t tell me this person in the background with the umbrella is here to actually do something decent??
oh my godddd
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and here come the feels. oh boy. okay don’t mind me, I’m just gonna sit here sobbing over this fictional lady and her simple act of kindness in this weekly shounen manga that I care about way too much
FUCKING DAMMIT AND HERE’S A SECOND HELPING
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DON’T MIND ME, I’M JUST GETTING DISPROPORTIONATELY EMOTIONAL OVER THIS WOMAN’S DETERMINATION TO HONOR A MAN WHO SACRIFICED EVERYTHING TO SAVE HER AND COUNTLESS OTHERS. I’M JUST HAVING SOME FEELS OVER HERE ABOUT HER HEARTFELT, DOESN’T-EVEN-KNOW-ANYONE-ELSE-IS-WATCHING FEELINGS OF GRATITUDE THAT COMPELLED HER TO COME OUT HERE AND MAKE THIS SMALL BUT POWERFUL GESTURE. I’M JUST OUT HERE GETTING ALL PROFOUNDLY WORKED UP ABOUT STATUE MAINTENANCE AND THE HUMAN RACE. NEVER MIND. JUST IGNORE ME AND CARRY ON
holy shit. I was not even remotely prepared. you can’t just do that to me. you can’t just leave all these death flags on my lawn and then suddenly shift gears to show me the best of humanity in a chapter where I was expecting the worst. that fucks a person up lol
OH ARE WE STILL GOING
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my heart. you see that, All Might. your legacy is so much more powerful and meaningful than you think
...has. has Stain actually been giving All Might a pep talk this entire time
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I give up lol. this dude is a fucking enigma
YAYYY
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it may just be a metaphor panel, but I’ll take it lol. I missed them. nice to see the traffic light trio front and off-center. I know the whole “this is the story of how we all became the greatest heroes” thing had left some questioning whether certain characters would continue to play a central role in the narrative, and hopefully this will help to ease those concerns just a bit
anyway, so idk if it’s getting a bit chilly down there in hell, but damned if Stain didn’t just give an actual decent fucking speech
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I have to say, earlier when I was whining about All Might not having a support squad, I really was not expecting Stain to be the one to come over and pat his head and reassure him that he made the world a better place
-- okay LISTEN
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YOU CAN’T JUST COME INTO MY HOUSE AND HIT ME WITH THOSE ALL MIGHT TEARS AGAIN GODDAMMIT THIS ISN’T FAIR. my god. first 317 and now this
holy fucking shit
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“I’m just gonna pretend like I haven’t been stalking him for two days and didn’t see the entire Deku bentogate thing go down, and then I’ll give him the whole big speech that I rehearsed, and then I’ll turn around and be all ‘BUT IF YOU’RE A TRUE HERO’, and then I’ll toss him the super-secret AFO wifi password that I stole from Tartarus. god I’m such a badass. fucking give myself chills”
so basically what you’re telling me is that this whole time my “what’s up kids” characterization of Stain from this shitpost has actually been 100% accurate. just want to make sure I’m understanding this right. okay then
“and then I’ll dramatically spin around and be all NOW COME KILL ME BITCH”
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it must be so much fun to write Stain. drawing this coked-out maniac who talks like a chatbot that was trained to speak by reading Alan Moore monologues. that must be a trip
anyway so All Might is still crying, the awesome lady from chapter 92 is admiring her handiwork totally oblivious to the batshit insanity going on fifty meters to her right, and it’s finally stopped raining lol
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“THE RAIN WAS A METAPHOR YOU SEE” yes, yes, we got it lol. thanks for that Horikoshi. don’t think we needed any help putting the pieces together on that one but I appreciate the effort
so that’s the end! and as I mentioned in another post, I had the count off by one chapter, but next week should be cliffhanger week! so break out your U.A. Traitor bingo cards, friends and fiends. either that or something else happens that I’m completely not expecting at all. which, based on my success rate with Stain predictions, I’d say is more than likely lol
mmm but anyway, so now that the Hug Deku 2021 campaign has finally come to an end, what’s it gonna take to get a hug for my struggling bento-preparing jacket-rocking world-weary death-flag-waving husband who is the worthiest man to ever live and deserves the fucking world, goddammit
263 notes · View notes
yesimwriting · 3 years
Text
Corridor Moments
A/n this is a request from @mariannagris for a fic with the Darkling x Sun Summoner! reader where they're having a cute moment and then Zoya walks in and sees that they're together and gets jealous.
I'm working on a longer fic that should be up this weekend!! I'm working through a bunch of requests/updates rn I promise lol
--
He's no longer guiding me, but he hasn't moved his hands away--one on my waist, one on my shoulder.
"Aleksander," I try to keep my tone casual, only hinting at a warning.
There's no way he misses it, but he still allows the hand on my shoulder to ghost across my collar before setting his palm on my cheek. "Yes, my sun?"
Before I can roll my eyes, he brushes his thumb across my cheek softly. His touch has started to become more casual, but I'm not sure the comfort it brings me will ever lose its novelty. I tilt my head slightly, leaning into his touch.
"We're not alone." The reminder is more for me than him. All of his actions are intentional, he knows the risks of his sudden bout of affection. "We may be in an empty hallway now, but we're not alone."
Aleksander leans forward slightly, forcing me to press my back into the wall to avoid melting into him. I don't miss his half-smile, a confident smirk breaking across his features. He knows what he's doing. "And what would we need to be alone for?"
The slightest hint of annoyance bubbles in my chest. For someone so determined, he enjoys playing coy more than he should. My lips part, prepared to call him out for his teasing, but Aleksander senses my hesitance like always. He leans forward again, this time pulling my chin up slightly so that our lips could brush together if I just inclined my head slightly.
The closer we get, the more I feel our distance. His eyes flicker downwards, focusing on the slight part of my lips. Aleksander angles his head downwards, allowing our lips to meet fully. Now that the barrier's been broken, I have no choice but to reciprocate with full force, my hands leaving his chest and finding their way into his hair. Aleksander's hands grab the collar of my kefta. He pulls me towards him sharply, as desperate as I am to eliminate space.
And then he pulls me away. I'm left pouting on instinct, lips slightly swollen and breathing a little uneven. "Easy," he chides, "We can't afford to get distracted."
I wrinkle my nose at him. He started this, pulling me out of the meeting under the ruse of important, private conversation. "And who's the one doing the distracting?"
Aleksander smiles fully. A real grin, the kind of grin that rivals any amount of sun I could ever produce. "You," he breathes, leaning in again and brushing his lips against my cheek, "Considering you won't leave my thoughts."
I let myself grin back, his unexpected softness an arrow that pierces through whatever's left of my composure. "You're awfully sentimental today."
He straightens slightly, expression still light. "Is that a bad thing?"
Squeezing the hand that he's placed on my waist, I beam at him. "Not bad at all--just different."
He's still looking at me with a fierceness that sometimes frightens me due to its wholeness, but something ancient and dark is settled behind his eyes. Something haunting that he won't let me help him with. I haven’t known him that long, but I’ve figured out that his affection is often a secret plea, a silent attempt to rid himself of darkness. What's the point of being able to summon the sun if you cannot banish the darkness that haunts those you care about? I raise his hand to my mouth, kissing each of his knuckles deliberately. He exhales at the contact, some sort of tension coiling in him at the chaste contact. 
I like us better when we’re alone. When he lets things like this slip from him as he tries to let my light in him. I could stay in this corridor forever with him. I could hold him by his hand to make sure he can’t slip away from me. 
Reality does not allow me to coddle my dreams. If I lose focus, he’ll be able to convince me to do anything--to forget my own name even. I drop my gaze to the hand I’m still holding, running my thumb along his knuckles. “We can’t--we can’t stay.” Not the truest sentiment--he can do whatever he wants. “I can’t stay.” The correction leaves me bitter. “Not for long.” The addition only softens the harsh edge of reality slightly. “People are already starting to think you’re extending favoritism towards me.” 
Aleksander lifts the hand I’m holding, taking my hand with him. He turns my hand over before placing a kiss on my palm. The contact is warm and fleeting and I’m powerless against the sentiment it stirs. “And this isn’t favoritism?” 
I roll my eyes, his warm breath is still against my skin. “That depends--am I your favorite?” 
His hold on my hand tightens slightly. “You already know the answer.” I let the corner of my mouth twitch upwards. Aleksander has already offered me more than I expected today, but it’d still be nice to hear him say it. “You, my darling, my sun, will always be my favorite.” 
I beam a little easier, warmth expanding in my chest. Still, the feeling isn’t enough to burn through all of my reluctance. His affection stems from the fact that he believes me to be his salvation. That’s the only thing that makes sense to me. How else could i have won his affections? 
“It’s easy to favor a Sun Summoner,” the response is soft, a bit of forced teasing edging my words. 
His eyebrows draw together as his hold on my hand tightens, turning from a gentle squeeze to a desperate grab. “Sun Summoner or not, no one else has ever held my favor the way you do.” Aleksander leans towards me again, the comforting heat of his breath on my cheek. “And no one ever will.” 
I’m reduced to nothing more than happy neediness, letting him cup my face and pulling me towards him. His lips meet mine with a desperate understanding that’s both bruising and coddling. Aleksander’s teeth graze my bottom lip, testing waters that are unfamiliar between us. I reciprocate, pushing even closer to him. He pushes us backwards, pressing me against the wall as he moves his attention away from my lips and down my jaw, leaving a trail of hot skin wherever his lips brush. 
“Aleksander,” I breathe, placing a hand on his chest, “Meeting--we need to--” 
He pulls away just enough to let me feel his grin, “That can wait.” 
“They’ll think things,” Despite my warning, Aleksander doesn’t pull away, his fingertips brushing against my collar. “They’re waiting,” he sighs against my hair, still careless, “Alina--she’s waiting...” He continues to touch me like I’m an illusion of the light. “And--” He smiles at my waning resolve, attempting to move forward to silence the last of my protests with a kiss. 
I turn my head, suppressing a reluctant laugh at his carelessness. Aleksander is not discouraged, pressing a kiss against my cheek. Shifting my gaze while placing my hand on his chest to make it easier to push him off fo me, I freeze. He must feel my new stiffness, because Aleksander pauses against me.  
Zoya. She’s standing at the entrance of the corridor, watching us--watching me--with such a sharp look of ill-defined displeasure I’m surprised I’m not physically withered by it. Awkwardness and something akin to guilt leave me blind as I try to create space between me and the unbudging General. Does he not see her? 
“Yes?” His voice leaves goosebumps against my skin--not an ounce of shame, but not a drop of that easy-going softness either. He’s General Kirigan again--sharp and incapable of shame or regret. He’s in complete control, all the power in the world is at the fingertips that are still on my skin. 
Zoya’s expression does not waver, eyes still locked on me. “Those in the meeting were beginning to worry, but I see that you’re occupied.” I was wrong. She’s not staring at me, she’s staring through me--like I’m nothing more than a thin curtain on a cloudless day during high noon. “I’ll inform the others.” 
“You’ll inform them of nothing I don’t approve of.” He’s fierce, the threat of venom apparent in each syllable. “And it’d do you well to meet the Sun Summoner’s gaze with a little more respect.” 
I’m quick to grab his forearm, desperate to articulate how much I’d rather him not pick this fight--not when most can barely stand me, not when the more I think of Zoya’s look I realize any bitterness towards me is something else. Not hatred, no--resentment. The kind of resentment that’s only ever a byproduct of something else. If I was bolder, I’d assume it a look of jealousy--maybe not over the man, but the attention and praise received for being nothing more than new and shiny. Her eyebrows knit together as Aleksander’s hold on me adjusts slightly. Okay, maybe the fact that I’m with Aleksander has something to do with it--but it has to be more than that. Her dislike of me, her constant myriad of comments and looks all points to a jealousy much more bitter than that of someone love sick. 
If something in her has been broken over time here, time around Kirigan and his pension for manipulating that I am not blind to and my presence and joy is a reminder of that, than I can bear her hatred. “She was looking at me normally.” Before he can challenge me, I move his hands off of me gently and slip away from between him and the wall. 
I guess that’s what it takes for him to understand that I mean it, Aleksander straightens and takes a step forward. His eyes linger on me as he walks forward. I stay a few steps behind him, a pathetic attempt to cling to any kind of properness I can manage. 
“If I were you, I’d at least comb your hair with your fingers before entering that room again unless you’d like to announce yourself as a form of entertainment.” 
Being a decent person is nauseating sometimes. “And take the fun out of it for you?” 
I don’t wait for her reply, moving down the hall to catch up with Aleksander. Still, when I’m no longer next to Zoya I brush my fingers through my hair in hopes of correcting any damage she’s created. Maybe I should be more worried. Maybe I should care about the opinions of others more. But every reason to stay away from Aleksander entirely feels so small. I’m not naive enough to fall blindly, but the thing about being a Sun Summoner is that you can bring light with you, no matter how dark the path you chose is. 
I watch Aleksander as he places a hand on the door to the room. He offers me one last, genuine smile. His path isn’t as dark as he wants it to seem, and even if it is, I don’t care. 
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Text
Okay, leaving aside my hatred towards Endeavor for a moment, I must admit I love his existence in the narrative as a character who makes everything around him more complex.
I have some meta about him prepared, but unfortunately I based all of it on a non-official translation of the manga. What I'm gonna do is rewatch the anime and take it from there, but in summary, it's a total show to see how he sabotages himself over and over by not listening to what people tells him and only following what he thought they said, not what they meant.
(I ended up writing a LONG post about this anyway, lol. I'd appreciate if you keep reading).
His approach to trying to make up for all he did to his family was to pressure himself to be the best hero of the world. A hero good enough to make his children and his wife proud. When actually, what he family needed and needs is for him to fulfill his duty as a father and a husband. They need Enji Todoroki, nor Endeavor. They don't need him to become stronger or faster or win even more prizes. They need him to talk and share about their day, to cook and clean the house, to watch TV together and go places together.
Enji is so focused on the narrative he made in his mind that he's unable to understand where is he wrong, which is extremely selfish being honest. The reason why he suffers so much and makes others suffer so much is because he is unable to communicate efficiently. This is a constant in the bnha narrative, a theme that is in every plot and arc. Whenever a hero or a villain finds themselves trapped, they soon realize is because they've closed their minds and hearts and let others out, so they can't receive suggestions or advice, nor try new ways others can see but not them.
Endeavor is the embodiment of the tragedy that comes with not opening your mind and heart and letting people change you. It is the tragedy of the old generation of pro-heroes, in fact. That's the reason why the UA kids have evolved so much through the manga, but the pro-heroes haven't changed that much, with a few exceptions.
Let's analyze how it relates to Endeavor's quirk, shall we? When fire gets released, it generates heat and light and sound; it is energy. Endeavor most noticeable trait is his excess release of energy. He's always on fire, shouting and using his strength over the top. He does what I could call a total waste of his resources.
He works excessively, to the point his own light blinds him. The moments Enji is relaxed, truly relaxed, are few on the manga. He lives in a constant competition. Do you know what happens to any object that is continually pressured? It wears down, it breaks. Or in other words, what is constantly burning without rest will soon enough burn out and fade away.
He held his wife to his standards and then his kids. He forced them to keep a rhythm that broke all of them, just because he felt a failure himself. I don't know y'all, but if the man I admires calls himself a failure, with all he does, and I want to be like him and I'm unable to even reach a piece of what he is, I'm gonna feel fatal myself. That's what happened to Touya. He took everything his dad threw at him. The problem is not that Touya couldn't resist, the problem is that he learned too much from Enji. He copied every trait and behavior, his recklessness and his self-centered view of the world, his insane standards and perfectionism, his ignorance in terms of how much he could stand and his desperation to be enough, be more, please everyone.
Rei ended up in the hospital because she tried to keep up to Enji. The stress was too big and she made a mistake, burning her younger son and marking him forever. And Shouto also tried to keep up, with almost results in him becoming just as blind as his brother and father, if it wasn't for Deku. And what about Fuyumi and Natsuo? Well, we saw how Fuyumi took up the role of the mother of the house and how Natsuo, who has for me the healthiest reaction to it all, distanced himself and rejected all the pressure. But deep down, Natsuo trauma is more related to what he let his dad do to his family than anything else. He thinks is partially his fault what happened with Touya and Shouto, with Rei and Fuyumi. He got caught in the middle, feeling useless and helpless, like a ghost.
It could all have been avoided if only Enji stopped for a while, reminding his family that they were perfect as they were or that he was already proud of them. The issue with this type of family dynamics is that they didn't need a meteor to fall from heaven or a god to point the way, but rather they lacked the little things, the daily things. A kiss in the forehead and a story for the night, a picnic and a trip to the beach. Endeavor was too worry about the big picture that he forgot everyh paint is made with tiny strokes. But he didn't have time, he was too busy for a family he forced to exists. He wanted them, didn't him? Then why he was never truly there if he wanted them so much?
When he was there, they were filled with fear. Did he notice it? Or course he did. It's impossible to miss the type of stares Touya and Rei had in their faces, the cries of Shouto, the trembling of Fuyumi and Natsuo.
As I see it, Enji is facing a simply but not easy (for him) decision:
If he really wants to redeem himself in front of his family, he needs to devotee his days to being with them. He needs to make up for all the time he wasn't there, for all the wrong he did, he needs to take in flesh and soul the consequences of his actions.
And it'd be hard to do so if he is the number one hero in Japan, knowing he's gonna be busier than ever. Now that he has what he wanted so much, is it worth all the trouble? Touya and him are mirrors in that sense. If Dabi makes his family suffer and kill his dad and then dies himself, could he call that a victory? Would he feel okay or just less miserable? Now that Endeavor has what he wanted, did it fill his life like he thought it would?
Does he prefer to lose his family but be Japan hero number one or give up the title in order to take back the life he sacrificed for his dream?
For me, that's the core of Enji's conflict right now on the manga. You can see it by how he went to fight AFO and not Touya. Again, he picked his hero duty over his family, making Kotaro quiet right. After all, heroes hurt their own families to save total strangers all the time, don't they?
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seokahwrites · 3 years
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NUISANCE | chapter 1 (or, human walls and steak fungi)
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back to nuisance masterlist
pairing.
| lawyer! jeon jungkook x lawyer! reader (feat. ex! kim taehyung)
summary.
| all you wished for was a relaxing two weeks in a big ass boat eating some big ass shrimps, away from the real world. but instead you’re stuck with your arch rival with no means of escape — and goddamit why does the bastard smell so good
tags.
| the spice has commenced; POUTY JUNGKOOK???; hunky jungkook?; jungkook?; jungkook in a suit; a LOT of jungkook; pouty reader; stressed out reader; use of the words dick and cooch; use of the word satan (to refer to kim seokjin ofc); KIM SEOKJIN IS THE REAL MAIN CHAR; poor joon is a victim; JUNGKOOK WEARING EARRINGS AND BRACELETS; taehyung is nice (?) (¿question mark?)
a/n.
| this writing was sponsored by red bull, alcohol and fantasies of casual jungkook as well as jungkook in a suit. also, jungkook’s smile is described as tight lipped bc his signature smile appearing is important to the story. also i wanna know y’all’s thoughts on tae. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY THANK U FOR THE COTINUOUS SUPPORT AND LOVE, I WILL CONTINUE TO GIVE MY BEST AND THANK U FOR READING MY STORY <333
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Having once spent a sleepless night reading Dante’s inferno, you were well aware of the fact that there are 9 layers of hell.
Though, it seemed the old man had forgotten about the tenth circle: Anywhere with Jeon Jungkook.
Since the first time you met him, you never had any reason to believe that he was a humble character. He had always looked at you from the top of his high horse and he took much pride in trotting on it.
As you, Jungkook and the receptionist wait for the elevator, the air thick with discomfort, you look at the man in front of you and remember that first time.
Your head is invaded with the memory of you in your Hello Kitty pajamas, adorned with grease and all, as you worked on a divorce case that causes you migraines to this day — love is a bitter bitch. It must’ve been past midnight when you and Jin were chewing away pizza slice after pizza slice at the office.
Then, there’s a knock at the door.
“If that’s Namjoon I’m literally going to fire you,” you bark at Jin as you hold his leftover crust on one hand and a document on the other.
And Jin, being the smart ass he is and knowing you wouldn’t survive a day without him, gets up from your leather couch without a word and opens the door, launching himself at none other than Kim Namjoon.
You roll your eyes at the love birds while wondering when the fuck their honeymoon phase was gonna end. You were so sick of them.
“Y/N,” Jin calls you from your desk, urging you to come to the door and once you’re beside him, this time with a cup of coke in your hands, “Can you keep them entertained for a bit? I just gotta grab Namjoon’s meds.”
Before you could say no, the little devil was already running off to his own cubicle, leaving you alone with the all familiar Namjoon and a very much not familiar stranger.
You lean on the doorframe without uttering a single word, sipping on your drink as well as the stranger — Sure, looking back at the moment you kinda just wanna punch yourself in the cooch and tell yourself to get a grip, but you weren’t blinded with hatred at the time, and also not blind — because it isn’t every night that a man clad in a charcoal suit and an unbuttoned shirt, comes knocking at your door; not to mention his watch dazzled under the artificial light and he held the blue tie in his hand with just the right grip.
You’re snapped out of your daze when the man goes from checking the time to whispering something in Namjoon’s ear, covering it the same way eight year olds cover their own secrets, and he laughs. This would all be good and well if he hadn’t looked at you with such appall in his eyes the moment before, the look still clear as day in your mind.
You're reminded that your makeup was probably smudged from all the times you had rubbed your eyes, your skin oily from the tiresome day and you were wearing Hello Kitty pajamas.
Maybe you shouldn’t have taken the insult so personally, but you did.
“I’m here,” Jin is back, a hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder as the other one passes him a lunchbox of cold medicines, “What did I miss?”
At this you look up from the pitiful ground, pulling Jin back to your office, and accidentally spill (or throw) your coke at the stranger. You watch in delight as he looks at his very expensive looking suit drenched in a sticky brown, utter terror in his eyes, inhaling the wonderful moment for a second before shutting the door in his face.
The consequences of your actions: an almost two-year long rivalry with the stranger, revealed to be Jeon Jungkook moments after the incident when Jin asked, “Did you just throw your drink at Namjoon’s boss, you crazy bitch?”
And that wave has rippled to this day, in the form of insults and high-school level teasing (if his brain had even evolved to that age). The words “I’ll have you all to myself’ comes to mind; it makes you puff with exasperation. Sure it comes off a little flirty to unknowing ears, but it was just another reminder of Jungkook’s dismay — and that he had an all new access to torture you.
You attempt to shake the ick from your body, but in a trice you found yourself in front of the suite, the four floors you travelled to get there seemingly a glitch in time.
Isabelle scans the room card in front of the handle, handing it over to Jungkook after the green beep. “This is your room!”
You shove Jungkook aside, pulling your trolley as you enter. You had seen the pictures before, but seeing the grand room before your eyes in all of its shades of brown and gray dispersed throughout the walls and furniture, the intricate branch of lights in the ceiling and the panoramic ocean view that gave it its name; it made you forgot who you were sharing it with for a moment.
When you turn around, Jungkook is as wide eyed as you, and it makes the corners of your mouth lift ever so slightly because he looks like a fucking dork.
“Well,” Isabelle is smiling and you could sense her relief of not having to deal with the two of you anymore, “If you need anything, me and the rest of the Royal Sunrise team are available at all times, have fun!”
And just like that, she made her escape, leaving you and Jungkook standing in the middle of the room, alone.
For a moment you shut your eyes as hard as you can, scrunching your face with your fists up, in hopes that a miracle happens and Jungkook disappears. You have been having some odd dreams lately, maybe this was just—
Nope. He’s still there.
Since his eyes seem to have wandered too far, you call out his name to bring him back to earth, crossing your arms when his gaze lands on you, “We should probably talk about a few things.”
He drops the backpack from his back as he nods.
“First of all, the sleeping situation—“
“Yeah, I already thought of that,” he walks to the (very cramped) couch on the other side of the room and pats the armrest, “I’ll take this wonderful bed.”
You look at him with quizzical eyes, wondering how the hell was he of all people going to fit there. But it wasn’t really of your concern if he wanted to get scoliosis, he had made his decision.
“Plus, you need beauty sleep much more than me.”
What a waste of oxygen.
You shrug off his words, immune to his childish remarks at this point, “Okay, then. Next on the list, eating arrangements.”
At this point he’s picking up his things and placing them in his territory, “Why is that on the list?”
You move closer to the windows, a little excited when you see the balcony — you would use it to either push your roommate into the cold ocean or catch up on a few books, tough choice. “Because the tables are arranged by rooms.”
You felt the confusion in his eyes poking at your back, so you turn, “That means that we need to share a table for the next few days, dipshit.”
Jungkook shakes his body in agony, throwing a tiny tantrum, “Why is that even a thing?” He whined.
When you feel a headache coming, you grab your own luggage and place it on top of the bed, opening it up and digging in the pockets for a little bit of liquid luck. God knew you needed it.
You down the sample of Jack Daniels in one go with a bitter face and a blow of air.
“Really?”
You start picking out your pajamas for the night, “I was saving it for when I’d find a hot stranger by the pool but—,” when you look up and see the mess on Jungkook’s couch, you’re taken aback, “What in the world is that?”
Jungkook’s hands are rummaging through the jungle that were his things, and it’s obvious that he just shoved as many clothes as he could find lying around the house. He grabs hold of a white tee, “What?”
Again, a waste of—
“WOAH, WOAH, WOAH.”
In the roll of an eye Jungkook’s torso is fully exposed, his back turned towards you with all of its bumps and mumps looking right at you. And you only become aware that you are staring when Jungkook notices the lack of a comeback, pointing it out with a smug tone.
“Y/N,” he doesn’t turn but he snaps you out of your stunned state all the same, “I can practically hear you drooling.”
At the very next instant you cover your eyes, just as little kids do when an inappropriate scene comes on the TV. “You wish, jackass,” and it comes off a little shoutier than you expected, as if the lack of visual correlated with the volume of your voice. Blindly, you grab your shirt and shorts from the bed and run to the bathroom, which just had to be on Jungkook’s side of the room.
And things take a turn for the worse when you run into something, and that something is warm and firm and breathing.
“Uh—.”
Pain.
You convince yourself it was just an invisible, Jungkook shaped wall they failed to mention on the website and fling yourself to the bathroom door, finding the handle rather quickly from all the adrenaline.
Once you’ve slammed the door shut, you let your back slide against the wooden slab and your ass hit the marble floor.
The clothes are still in your grip, your left hand feeling your overheating cheeks and for a tick you think that maybe, just maybe, you should throw yourself into the water and let the sharks take you so you could be buried at the very depths of the ocean. It seemed like a better fate than whatever the fuck was awaiting you the next two weeks.
You take a deep breath in, letting your mind focus on something else.
You look around and, oh, wow. Even the bathroom was charming — if you could ignore the absurd amount of windows, any sea creature passing by would surely see more than they should — glass making up all of the walls, including the shower’s.
The exposure that surrounds you, in its own weird way, cleared up your head the tiniest bit and for the first time since you’ve arrived, you were able to think, only the ocean and its blue around you now.
And what would be your first course of action after a glimpse of clarity?
Calling that rat bastard assistant of yours, of course.
You stand up and place your phone atop the hazel counter after clicking contact name ‘Twinky’, out of fear you’d smash the damn thing when you hear his voice, smoke was bursting at the seams of your chest. Prepare to meet your end, Kim Seokjin—
“Good evening, Ms. Y/N. For what reason are you contacting me in the midst of your vacation?”
Breathe in, breathe out. “Don’t get all formal with me, Kim,” you’re wagging your finger to no one, “I know you did something. Confess.”
The obnoxious twirling of Jin’s chair could be heard through the speaker, “I’ve no idea of what you could possibly be talking about, Madam—“
“Confess.”
“Fine, fine,” you could picture Jin putting his hands up at your murderous tone, “Me and Joon just thought it was about time you two kids got together.”
You take a pause from your pacing around. Motherfucker.
“Okay! I thought it was time and convinced Namjoon to go along with it,” your fist meets the counter with an audible thump, and you were seethed at the probability of Jin smiling at your behaviour. “Speaking of it, how’s it going?”
“Well, Jin,” you place the microphone as near to your mouth as possible, “JEON JUNGKOOK IS TAKING OFF HIS CLOTHES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING ROOM,” you put on a docile face and naturally assume that Jin could see you telepathically, “So you tell me how it’s going.”
For the first time since you hired him, you had left Jin speechless. Or so you thought.
“I didn’t know you would move this fast—“
“Jin.”
“I apologise, I apologise,” the witch cackles, “But you didn’t give me any context, I only assumed the best.”
“Spare me from your taunts, you hag,” you huff and roll your eyes, “And, as I’ve told you many times before, Jeon Jungkook is literally the worst. I hate—.”
“—him. Yes, Y/N, I’ve been hearing the same speech every single day for two years,” you could hear Jin walking back and forth before an abrupt pause, “Listen to yourself, Y/N, you brought this upon yourself. Whenever you saw or just remembered Jungkook existed you wouldn’t stop talking about him. So, being the good friend I am, I handed you his—,” you rush in a failed attempt to muffle his next words with your hand, “—dick on a silver platter.”
Oh, dear lord.
“You’re out of your mind if you think I wanna be anywhere near Jungkook’s—,” you speak in a hushed tone, “—thing.”
“See, you can’t even say it,” and you give up, because no matter how many times you denied it, Jin never let up. “Anyway, I gotta go and… take a call. Have fun!”
And he hangs up.
All you can do is groan, making a mental note that you oughta kick Jin in the balls one of these days, and you look at yourself in the mirror — you couldn’t even enjoy your tacky shirt because of him. Was a normal vacation really too much to ask for?
You remember that the universe had already answered your question with a big yes, and you can’t help but pout.
Still, ever the changing mind, were you really going to let the universe win?
Your pout turns into a smirk. Of course, you weren’t. All you needed to do was avoid Jungkook as much as possible, that would be easy for sure, you were on a gigantic cruise ship after all.
Yeah, this can still be great.
And so, quick to think as always, you grab your phone and scroll through the Royal Sunrise website.
To your luck, the cruise offered classes and activities of all types with a different theme each day — tomorrow is cooking. Not only was it going to be actually entertaining, you could avoid Jungkook without having to look behind you every other minute.
Genius.
With this new mindset and plan, you change into your oversized navy shirt and banana-printed shorts, a newfound excitement in your step. You even bang your chest with each of your fists, a gorilla-esque fighting technique if you shall, as a way to pump you up.
The door doesn’t seem as intimidating when you push it open, your arms swinging at your side as if you were one of the seven dwarves. This was good.
Immediately you're met with the vexing view of Jungkook, and you quirk your eyes when you notice that all he was wearing was a pair of gray shorts and that white tee, the oddity of it all iffy in your head since you’ve only ever seen him in suits and shirts. There’s a familiar tingling of (what you always assumed was) contempt in your fingertips and toes, one that would only ever occur with Jungkook. Hatred finds a way, huh.
He looks at you, back to his phone and back to you all in one second, and once his brain processes that you’re back and present, he ditches his phone and props himself up on one elbow. “You know the walls aren’t that thick, right?”
The tingle turns into a twitch and you almost hit yourself. Breathe, Y/N.
Jungkook sits up, crossing his arms, his eyes wandering once again, “I knew that Namjoon was planning something. He was sweating so much, I thought it was just the heat,” and they land back on you, “Turns out, it was betrayal.”
You head to your own king-sized resting place and a chuckle slips out of you at Jungkook’s little remark. “You did hear that Jin was the one who dragged him into this, right?”
You’re both pulling your covers over your bodies with silent grins due to the dumbassery of your assistants, “I assumed as much.” At this, your smiles become full-out laughs and your heads must have been too exhausted to dwell on the out of character situation.
It fades after a few seconds and you take one final look at Jungkook before turning off the lights, only to make sure he was already laid down.
Your anxiety comes back to the surface, your eyes staring blankly ahead at the ceiling.
“What a mess,” you don’t even notice you had blurted it out loud.
The rustling of sheets sounds through the otherwise cricket-silent room, “Tell me about it.”
Another chuckle.
“Jungkook,” you call him, the words coming out with no warning, “Can we just promise, no monkey business? I just really wanna relax and—.”
“Y/N,” he stops you before you could yap any further, “No monkey business.”
His interruption makes you sheepish, that tingle coming back as you fiddle with the sheets.
All of the sudden, “Good night, Y/N.”
Silence.
“Don’t be a killjoy.”
Groan. There really isn’t any reason for you to answer the prick. Still, you roll your eyes, “Good night, you troll.”
You hear his pleased sigh.
“Kinda bummed you don’t want my thing, though.”
Damn you, Kim Seokjin.
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Your eyes flutter open, not with the calming sound of the dancing waves or the rustling of the sheets beside you from a happy hour mistake, no. You wake up with the sound of the shower running, the drip drop of the water meeting the glass floor of the bathroom.
The walls are very thin.
The image of a very naked Jungkook just next door is forced into your head, and you try to get rid of it by putting a pillow over your face, in hopes that it would put an end to your misery, but the world only gives a hundred problems and zero solutions.
Sat up, you remind yourself of the fresh-new mindset you had implemented yesterday, and this motivates you to restart your morning right and get dressed for the busy day ahead.
You squat down to your bag, grabbing the first jumpsuit and shoes in front of you, surprisingly not too shabby. The black off-shoulder fabric was adorned with pale pink flowers and your basic white sneakers didn’t add much but they were still a welcome fit — you’d only brought three pairs of shoes, so you didn’t really have much of a choice.
The background noise of the shower running disappears.
Shit.
You stumble around the room, trying to switch out of your clothes as fast as you possibly could to avoid any of yesterday’s incidents repeating, the need of any sort of grooming forgotten along the way. Still, you succeeded, and just as Jungkook unlocked the bathroom door, you were out of the room.
The joy in your step was back as you took the few steps needed to the elevators, pressing that little button of victory. Though you’ve been to countless luxury premises, the details of each place still managed to leave you awestruck, and the black railing and golden walls of the ship with decoration clearly inspired by the Romans, weren’t an exception.
The elevator was going from the sixth floor to the fifth when you heard a door open, the hairs of your back standing up out of instinct.
“Wait up!”
Fuck me.
You turn to the left, met with the, once again, odd view of Jeon Jungkook wearing casual clothes, this time in a charcoal shirt a few sizes too big, black cargo pants and signature chunky shoes. But, there’s something even more strange and you can’t quite put a finger to it, it isn’t the fact his lavish watch was replaced with leather braids on his wrist or that his hairs strayed a bit more wildly, it’s—
“Holy shit,” your eyes shoot wide open, “Are those hoops?”
Your hands almost go to touch the silver in his ears, but you remind yourself you’d probably turn to stone.
An unfamiliar red paints Jungkook’s face as his own fingers prod at the earrings, his eyes not meeting yours, “Maybe.”
A gasp. “How did I never notice,” you state more than ask, but Jungkook answers all the same.
“I mean, I never wear them to anything work-related because keeping a professional image and all of that,” he looks at you, his bashfulness fading into an all-knowing smile, “And those are the only times I see your bitter face.”
You scoff, “Wow, actually we talked like normal people for a whole thirty seconds.”
The imp has the audacity to laugh at your face, the way he stops to scan you up and down going unnoticed by your sight. “I gotta say, Y/N, you actually know how to dress—“
Ding.
The black tinted doors open to the glass elevator, a panorama of all the ship’s floors in full display, blue and purple lights reflecting on the gilded ornaments. Your hands rest on the black railing and you don’t even notice there’s another person in the elevator.
“Y/N?” The deep timbre of the voice is all too easy on your ears.
A slight turn to the right is all it takes to see him, fluffy ash hair (that was rough between your fingers from all the times he had dyed it), a shirt that flowed like the clouds and beige slacks that matched with the sepia of his sandals (an ensemble that contrasted the vibrant version of him in your memory). But that square grin was still the same.
“Tae?” You laugh in utter disbelief, “Kim Taehyung?”
“Come here!” His long arms bring you into a hug and with your head nuzzled against his chest, his heartbeat echoed good times, easier times that weren’t filled with paperwork and suits.
It’s interrupted by your forgotten acquaintance clearing his throat.
You pull away, recomposing yourself as you stand beside Taehyung, “Jungkook, this is Kim Taehyung,” you feel Taehyung’s eyes on you, “He was kind of my college boyfriend.”
They shake hands and look back at you, as if waiting for something.
“Uh— Right. Tae, this is Jungkook, my—,” you glance at the brunet to find the right words, “—co-worker, of sorts.”
Your embarrassment only deepens when you remember that the Jeon Jungkook was a first-hand witness to the mess you were melting into in front of your ex-boyfriend.
Who needed caffeine when shit like this kept happening to you.
“Oh,” Taehyung’s voice drops an octave as he shoves his hands in his pockets, “So you two came together?”
And you wave your arms around to signal a ‘no’, but it comes off as ‘that-one-crackhead-at-the-corner-of-the-street-ish” instead. “God, no,” you snort, much to your chagrin.
Taehyung sticks his tongue between his teeth, staring down at Jungkook who was chewing on his own bottom lip, “That’s good to hear.”
It seems you’ve regressed to your college-self, tucking your hair behind your ear with blushed cheeks at your senior.
Ding.
The elevator had arrived at the first floor, Jungkook’s cue to leave.
But he doesn’t make a straight itinerary, instead standing in front of the elevator, “Aren’t you gonna catch breakfast, chump?”
Ah, right. Your genius plan could finally come out in the open, “No, actually. I have an all-day cooking class on the 5th floor.”
“No kidding,” Taehyung turns to you and places a hand on your bare shoulder with a wide smile, “Me too!”
At this, Jungkook’s shoulders slump and his expression falls flat, but you couldn’t get a word in as the elevator doors closed and he swiveled away to his own day.
Eh, it’s not like it was your affair anyways. Plus, 9AM wasn’t the hour to deal with his bullshit.
You and Taehyung made your way up, speaking of all the things you’ve been up to for the past three years.
“So, Jimin’s dancing in Europe,” you gasp, a swell of pride in your chest, your old friend would talk about it every free night he spent in yours and Taehyung’s flat.
“Yeah, now I don’t know who’s keeping an eye on all the dumb shit he does.”
The weight on your shoulders only got lighter with every laugh you shared with Taehyung, sweet nostalgia.
“We’re here,” you point at the chalk sign, the words ‘Bon Appetit’ scribbled on it.
Out of sheer intuition, you pull Taehyung by the wrist until you reach the entrance, a Royal Sunrise worker awaiting with a list of, what could only be, the names of the participants.
You let go of Taehyung when the man’s eyes travel to your holding hands. Oh, God.
He smiles, “Good morning, Mr. and Ms. What would your names be?”
“Good morning, I’m Y/N Y/LN,” your smile hadn’t left your face, “I signed up yesterday.”
He nods and you walk inside, Taehyung following you before the worker puts up a hand to stop him.
“Your name, sir,” his tone changes..
You look back, wondering what the fuss was about.
“Uh— Kim Taehyung.”
The man reads over the clipboard, even flipping to the previous pages. “Excuse me, Mr. Kim. But your name doesn’t seem to be in the—.”
Taehyung’s calm demeanour becomes a bitter scowl as he pats a fifty dollar note down the man’s pocket before he could continue his speech. “Just let this one slide, buddy.”
The sight is a bit rough on the eyes and the corners of your lips turn downwards, something itching at your throat, but you hadn’t seen him in a long time and he most likely had good intentions with the man, you could let it slide, right?
“So,” Taehyung rubs his hands with a smile that reaches the pillows of his eyes, a 360° from the him you saw a few seconds ago, “Where were we?”
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The blue of the sky had faded into a deep lilac once you and Taehyung were finished with your last batch of food.
You stood outside with smiles plastered on your faces and flour sprinkled on your hair, reminders of a day well-spent.
“This was great,” you held boxes of chocolate crepes and mushroom pasta, “Except for the fact I was forced to eat and deal with mushrooms.”
Taehyung’s eyebrows pull together, “So many years together, and I didn’t know you hated mushrooms,” you remember telling him countless times, but he never had the best memory — you don’t bother to bring up your hatred for crepes. “But, yeah… I think it was the company that sealed the deal, though.”
A beat of silence. The boy was smooth as ever.
You’re the first to break it. “I guess I’ll go get dinner then.”
“Right, right,” he purses his lips, “I’m gonna catch a nightcap, too full for food anyways. See you, Y/N.”
And you only mumble a small goodbye before you and Taehyung are going different directions.
A day well spent indeed.
Grumble.
You couldn’t keep it in anymore.
Holy Moses, were you hungry as shit. Who knew that barely eating breakfast and lunch could do this to a person.
Once the coast is clear, you run to the elevator, pressing the button repeatedly because why is this thing so fucking slow.
The time taken to go down to the first floor is even more agonising, but you just imagined the wonderful meals that actually tasted like food waiting for you downstairs. You could feel the pork melting in your mouth already.
Ding.
Since the first floor is more packed, you pace yourself as you power-walk to the dining area but you arrive in no time, walking through the tables and scanning each marker for the number 83, until you finally find your salvation — and the mop of brown hair sitting there with its unmistakable silver.
You park your ass on the wooden chair and place the white boxes of gag-worthy food on the table.
“Fancy meeting you here, Y/N,” Jungkook shoves a fork of rare steak and potatoes in his big mouth.
“Don’t antagonise me, Jungkook,” you leap to grab his wrist before he can get another scoop, “Where’s the food?”
You feel him tense under your grip, “Okay, let go of me, hungry hungry hippo,” you loosen your fist and lean back on your chair with crossed arms, “And the restaurant is out of steaks for the night, your only other option is some fried fish or something,” he continues munching.
“No—,” your head meets the table with a bang, “—I’ve been dreaming of red meat all day.”
“Didn’t you cook at— you know, cooking class?”
“Yes, we did,” you sit up and shove the boxes of trash to Jungkook as he examines them.
“But, you hate mushrooms and crepes,” he turns his head in a robotic motion when he opens the lids.
Your hunger fades for a bit as that tingle in your fingertips pushes you to sit straight, leaning your head like a curious puppy.
“How do you know that?”
Jungkook bites his bottom lip as he seems to think of a response. “Well, you mentioned it at the Law & Practice Awards a few months ago,” he rubs his fingers on his chin with a feign look of concentration, “I believe your exact words were: ‘Why does the stake have fungus on it’ and ‘Everybody knows that crepes are just a—.”
“—a cheap version of pancakes,” you finish his sentence with surprise painted on your face. Still, you question him, “But, how do you even remember that?”
Jungkook’s flush is back on his cheeks, “As they say, keep your friends close,” he flashes that tight lipped smile of his, “And your enemies closer.”
Just as you were about to flip the fucker off, your stomach grumbles. Out of all of the moments it could’ve complained, it decided to do so in the only second of silence.
Jungkook mumbled something along the lines of “That’s it,” under his breath and let out a sharp exhale, cutting up his steak and taters and pushing them into a smaller plate, adding a few greens in the mix. He snaps his fingers at the nearest waiter and grabs a glass of wine from his tray. The act finishes off with him pushing the food in your direction.
You stare at the food, at Jungkook and back at the plate again. Dumbfounded, once again.
“Well, what are you waiting for? Eat,” he continues on with his dinner as if he hadn’t just done— Well, what he just did.
You bite your lip and bow your head slightly, though you’re sure he doesn’t see it, before vacuuming the food directly into your belly.
The rest of the evening is spent in comfortable silence, no daggers threatened to be thrown or scorn weighing in the air. This lasts all the way to the door of the room; you were fine with communicating with only ‘hums’ and nods but Jungkook, as always, had to ruin things.
He leans his back against the white door, arms crossed and a smirk as he looks down at you. “How lucky of you to have your mortal enemy and—,” he puts up air quotes, “‘kind of college boyfriend’ in the same boat as you, huh?”
You palm your face and hide a sheepish smile, “I was hoping you’d forget about that.”
“How could I when I was your special guest to first hand embarrassment in the elevator,” he waves the white flag of peace as he puts his hands up, “But, hey—“
“Hi, Jungkook,” someone behind you purrs, heels clacking.
You turn around and see a woman of jet-black hair in a stunning red silk dress, the pony-tail on her head swinging a delicate left to right as she waved her manicured hand at none other than Jungkook — who brushes a hand through his hair before complimenting her greeting.
It takes you by surprise, though you laughed at Jungkook’s gnarly stance at the beautiful woman, the tingle comes back, this time prickling at the pit of your stomach.
As soon as she had walked away, you rubbed your hands at the sides of your arms, “Wow, Jungkook. Moving fast are we?” you squint your eyes, “I think it’s the earring.”
“First of all, screw you,” he unlocks the door, “Second, that’s nothing, trust me.”
He holds the door open for you and you catch a whiff of his black vanilla scent. You stop in your tracks and place a hand on his shoulder with a grimace on your face, “Just don’t do anything on my bed, okay?”
You don’t bother to wait for an answer as you head to the bathroom with your comfy tee in your hands.
This time, the counter was embellished with skincare and cologne galore, all thanks to your dear roommate.
“He wouldn’t notice if I used some of this, right?” You say to Jungkook’s bottle of cleanser, too lazy to go back and grab your own toiletries.
“If you use that I’m drowning myself,” you hear him shout from the other room.
Sorry, face. You’ll have to wait for tomorrow.
Once you were snug in your tee, you were off to bed — Jungkook in the same attire as yesterday as well.
You leave the lamp on as you checked your phone for the first time since yesterday. Of course, Jin was your only notification, a plethora of obscenities and questions that would, unfortunately, be permanently ingrained in your mind forever. You turn off your phone and throw it on top of the night stand.
Not today, satan.
“You mind?” You ask Jungkook who seemed to be scrolling away, too engrossed in his phone to look at your finger pointing at the light, only a grunt on his behalf.
You turn it off and shut your eyes, your body tense, not that you weren’t used to it, the decaying muscles of your back have been like that since you graduated high-school. And, it was a bit more intense from all the mixing and pot handling — thank the heavens that tomorrow’s activities involved massaging. Though, today was a win.
Jungkook’s phone turns off and his body sloshes around, the sounds he makes the only ones reverberating in the room.
“Good night, Y/N,” you try to ignore him, but he comes forward with a good case, “Come on, I gave you my food.”
Guilt tripper.
“Fine, but only because you’re annoying as shit,” he lets out a satisfied breath, “Good night, Jungkook.”
You arrive at dreamland in no time.
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taglist. (open)
| @fangirl125reader / @vantxx95 / @jinpanman / @ggukkieland / @miniiimee / @paizthemaiz
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namfinessed · 3 years
Text
a lil bad - m.yg.
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genre: fluff, angst (11.3k) e2l
summary: you hate min yoongi the most so how the fuck do you end up in his tattoo shop? (fools!universe)
masterlist         series masterlist
you don’t know how it happens in every single party, but you always end up next to yoongi, grumbling and complaining but still with him beside you and even after several incidents of pouring drinks on each other and pretending it was a mistake, or just plain insulting each other right to your faces, or ruining dates for the other by fake flirting, you always end up next to him.
you never really understood your hatred for min yoongi, but it’s always been there, whenever you see him, you always either leave the room to not be around him at all or you start bickering with him until the day ends, it’s usually always the latter, he knows just how to rile you up, he knows just what to say to piss you right off, and you always give in to his stupid arguments.
and apparently, even right now, with all your friends dancing and enjoying themselves, you stand in the corner while idly mixing your drink slowly, and it takes everything in you to not roll your eyes when yoongi catches your eye across the room and starts his making his way over to you.
“what are you doing here, doll?” he asks, hands in pockets, his ever-present smirk settled nicely on his face, the nickname that falls from his mouth makes you roll your eyes, he’s been calling you that forever, no matter how many times you’ve complained and hit him for it.
you notice his tattoos peeking from the collar of his leather jacket which mirrors the one on your body. it is hard to not do a full head to toe scan when yoongi manages to look this good even as he’s half drunk.
you hate him but you’re not blind, you know that he is attractive and he knows it too, he knows it all too well.
“none of your goddamn business, min yoongi, get back to your friends.” your bitter reply is no surprise to him and that becomes evident with how he laughs at you and pulls himself up on the table you were resting on, looking down at you with pure amusement dancing in his eyes.
“they’re shit drunk, and i don’t want to deal with anyone vomiting all over me” he shrugs as he takes another swig and you turn to look at his friends who were falling over each other and laughing for no reason at all.
somewhere in you, you know that he’s lying, he wouldn’t mind if his friends vomit over him, he wouldn’t care even when he’s going to be the one who will drive them home after this and make sure that they’re safe but yoongi doesn’t need to know that you know about him.
“such a good friend” you dryly muse and walk away from him, only for him to jump off the table and follow you, you stop in your steps and he does too, making you grit your teeth and look at him with an evident glare in your eyes.
“what do you think you’re doing?”
“none of your goddamn business, doll.”
yeah, you hate him. you take back every nice thought you’ve ever had about him.
he gives you an innocent smile and it takes everything in you to not strangle him. you swiftly turn the other way and speed walk till you’re outside the house, taking a deep breathe now that you’re free from the obnoxious people and music. just when you stretch your legs out to settle there for a bit, you see someone barging their way out, almost hitting your arm, you turn to curse them out just to see jimin come out from the same way, following the previous person.
you only know jimin because he works in namjoon’s bakery, and he’s in one of your classes, you’re friendly enough to greet each other but that’s it, so when you see him fighting with the person who barged out first, and the fight showing no signs of calming down, you roll your eyes at how stupid they sound, why can’t they just kiss already? you can literally feel the sexual tension in the air and they seem to be in absolute denial about it, but deciding that it was best to leave them alone, you unwillingly tip toe your way back into the house.
the party is still raging and loud and you can’t really distinguish who is who anymore, so you just push your way through the crowd, murmuring excuse me’s and curses to people who push you, only to find yourself in the living room where all your friends are gathered. they immediately perk up at your entrance, drunk smiles gleaming even in the darkness and you hate to admit that you sense some mischief in the air.
“i was looking for you, come here, sit down” jennie smiles as soon as she sees you and pats the seat next to her, you hesitantly sit and warily eye the bottle in the middle of the circle you’re sat at.
“what’s going on here?”
“we’re playing spin the bottle because we literally have nothing left to do” jisoo complains from opposite to you and you throw your head back with a groan, at the corner of your eye, you see yoongi walk in with his own friends and you don’t even want to look up again.
“how bored are you guys?” you complain but get comfortable in your seat anyway, it’s not like you were any less bored than they were.
“just say you’re too much of a wimp to play and leave already.” yoongi’s voice is crystal clear even with the loud music and everyone starts ooh’ing at his sentence, all of them were already used to your endless bickering and they always act like they know something you both don’t, you never cared enough to ask them anyway. you rolled your eyes before setting them on him with a bored expression.
“you’re still standing min yoongi, so who’s the real wimp here?” and now, everyone’s ooh’ing at you, he looks up at you with the same smirk that always annoys you and cocks an eyebrow before sitting directly in front of you, then pins you with only challenge clear in his eyes.
“okay, so the rules are pretty simple.” you look away from him and focus on listening to chaeyoung as she explains what exactly are the set rules.
“so when we spin the bottle, the people at the ends of the bottle either kiss each other or one of them gets to give a dare to the other, and the other cannot refuse” jisoo smiles at you as she plays with the bottle in her hand and you know what’s going on in her little head, she’s always been convinced that you have a crush on yoongi but you were close to vomiting on her when she told you that, she hasn’t backed down though and if you know her, she’s probably thinking this is some magical way to get you to kiss yoongi but you would jump into a well before that happens.
“the only person i want to kiss in this room is you” yoongi wears a wide, confident grin as he points to the random girl he’s been talking up since the beginning of the party and you watch with raised eyebrows as she blushes and buries her face into his shoulder.
poor girl, you wince to yourself.
and yoongi’s drinking up the affection, cooing at her and wrapping his arm around her shoulder, not letting her go even as the bottle spins speedily and lands on taehyung and some girl you’ve seen around the campus, you have never really looked at her but she does seem a little out of place in the party, and you make a note to yourself to talk to her later, you hate that feeling of being isolated and you wouldn’t want her to feel that way.
everyone watches them with excited and curious eyes, taehyung has a huge smile on his face as he wiggles his eyebrows at the girl who looks like she wants to run away, but then taehyung reaches over and whispers something into her ear and everyone erupts into cheers when he reaches for his hoodie on the floor and drops it on their heads, the hoodie comes off to reveal one flushed face and taehyung who is positively beaming. though the kiss is over, at least you assume it is over, everyone’s gaze lingers on the quiet girl who all but is biting on her lip and averting her gaze to the floor.
“stop making her uncomfortable and spin the bottle already” you say plainly as you leaned back on your hands, you could tell she wanted anything but attention, she just had a stiff posture and this was clearly new for her, so you decided to help her out. she flashed you a quick grateful look and you gently smile at her.
and the bottle kept spinning, most opted for the kisses, and each time someone would kiss, the entire room would be chaos, with people whooping and waving their hands, you bury your head into your hands each time that happens because you can’t believe most of these people are well in their 20’s and are still this excited over seeing their peers kiss but you enjoy the energy in the air, it’s familiar and being around your friends is something you’re always grateful for.
“wait wait yoongi didn’t spin the bottle” lisa points out along with chaeyoung and they both have happy smirks on their faces as everyone nods in agreement, soon cheering him on to spin it already and yoongi surrenders with raised hands.
the bottle spins and you hold your breath because you would do anything to not be at the other end of it.
you exhale in relief when it lands on who yoongi wanted it to land on, the girl who’s been around him all night, he just looks at her with a smile and she leans forward with sparkling eyes, and you look away just when the sound of smacking lips fills the air, immediately everyone starts shouting and that’s when you understand that maybe the kiss wasn’t innocent at all, you almost do a double take when you hear a silent moan in midst of all the chaos, looking back when the shouts die down to see the girls with pink cheeks and yoongi who had a proud smile on his face.
and you don’t know why, but at that moment, your annoyance for him touches the roof.
maybe because he was oozing confidence always?
maybe because it sounded like he was an incredible kisser?
maybe because he’s got someone blushing right next to him with just a kiss?
you don’t know and frankly you also don’t understand why you stand up from the circle right then, everyone’s eyes lands on you and you shift on your feet, you hate attention, and you particularly hate yoongi who immediately looks at you standing.
“i just need a refill, i will be back, you guys play” you gesture towards the kitchen and leave the living room with fast steps, you only let out a breath of relief once you’re in the kinda empty kitchen, it still has like 10 people but not one of them gives a fuck about you, which is exactly what you need.
you spot the tequila bottles but they are empty, making you groan out loud in frustration and you want to throw a chair into the window, because how the fuck do these people drink so fast? last time you were here, there were 10 huge, full bottles and they’re just gone now.
“fucking great” you mumble and squeeze your eyes shut as you lean back on the counter.
you don’t even want to go back to the circle and see yoongi’s face or the girl that he’s with who seems to blush about everything like who’s going to tell her that yoongi will probably drop her in a week?
you stomp your way back to the living room, and sit down with a huff, not looking at anyone, just letting the game continue around you and zoning out until someone asks you something.
your eyes don’t leave the bottle in the middle of the circle, staring as it spins and claims its victims, and you only snap out of your thoughts when jennie nudges you, you are a little startled when she pushes the bottle into your hand with a small smile.
“it’s your turn, spin it” she gently instructs, and you almost just want to cuddle her and go to sleep because she’s always been so nice to you and maybe it’s because you’re half-drunk and you’re mildly irritated by everything, but you feel so grateful to her soft voice.
but her words also make you pause, it’s your turn after god knows how many turns and you want to skip it, there’s no one in this room that you want to kiss.
“see, i told you, she’s a wimp” you glare up at yoongi as he stares you down, and with a grumble, you snatch the bottle from jennie’s hands and give it one rough spin. you silently pray that it lands on anyone but yoongi.
your heart almost pauses when it seems to slow down near yoongi, but then it tilts right at the last second, you feel lighter as you look up to see jisoo at the other end of the bottle, who has a cheeky smile on her face, you lean back with your won smile because you could just kiss her, it’s no big deal.
“so, kiss?” you raise your eyebrows at her and she narrows her eyes at you playfully, looking you up and down and you giggle at her fake horny expression.
“as much as i love kissing, i have a dare for you.” you eye her cautiously as she says this, why isn’t she just opting for the kiss?
“i’m not stripping down naked if that’s what you’re going to say” you deadpan, to lighten the tension in the room and everyone laughs, taking swigs of their drinks and someone yells party pooper.
 “why can’t we just kiss and get it over with?” you whined when she stayed silent and jisoo shook her head happily as everyone’s ears and eyes focused on what would leave jisoo’s mouth, she smirks a little at their enthusiasm and your slightly scared expression.
“the dare is” she pauses for dramatics and you throw the bottle cap at her making her jump and giggle.
“okay okay, the dare is, you have to get a tattoo in yoongi’s shop by yoongi, he gets to choose which one too.”
she did not.
“i’m sorry, did i hear you right?” you leaned forward with a cocked eyebrow because jisoo wouldn’t do this to you.
right?
“i’ll go easy with the needle on you, doll” yoongi chuckles from his spot.
“shut the fuck up, min yoongi” you snarl at him and fix your gaze on jisoo again as she shrugs with a delighted smile on her face.
“hey, i could just kick you out from my store, you know that right?” you ignore his words with a roll of your tongue against your cheek and run a hand through your hair, this is far from how you wanted your night to go.
“are you going to back off from a dare, y/n?” chaeyoung raises her eyebrows at you and it feels like thye’ve definitely planned this shit from the start but the mocking in her tone doesn’t allow you to say no.
“fucking hell, i’ll do it.” you give in because again, you are never one to back off from a challenge. even if you’re really scared of needles, you can do this.
“who said i’m doing it for you?” he questions with narrowed eyes and everyone in the room breaks into scattered giggles.
“i’ll give you a month y/n, convince him and get it done.” jisoo says, triumph clear in her face and tone as she calmly hands the bottle to its next victim.
again, this isn’t how you wanted your night to go.
-
convincing yoongi, as it turns out, was the hardest thing you have ever tried to do, and you take history in college.
not only is he insanely stubborn, but it also feels like he seriously gets off from pissing you off every single time, because the minute you start to get somewhere with convincing him, he would say something stupid, you would curse him out and you’re back to square one with your mission.
it’s been a week since the party and you’ve got no progress on him.
“okay, i can do this, it’s just stupid yoongi” you encourage yourself lightly by tapping your shoulders in butterfly position, because there’s nothing else that calms you down from the inevitability of having to talk to him.
you’re not sure why you are doing so much for a dare, but it feels like this is the chance to prove to your friends that the only feelings you have for yoongi is hatred, you cannot have them thinking you like him when even the thought of him annoys you to the core.
but you’re still here, with a bag of tempura shrimp and fried rice because apparently that’s his favorite food, and as the old saying goes, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
now, if you were reached his heart, you would probably rip it out but you’re doing what you can to get the dare over with. you ring the bell and stand back, but nothing prepares you for the sight in front of you.
a girl in just a t-shirt, most probably yoongi’s, who’s definitely not his girlfriend.
didn’t they say the girl at the party became his girlfriend afterwards?
well, at least the girl looks just as surprised as you do, and she even starts getting teary eyed and that’s when you realized what this looks like, you brought him food, pretty early in the morning, you’re dressed up well because you just like to look good, and she could be assuming that she just slept with a taken man.
“doll, is that you?” yoongi’s voice comes from behind her and you grit your teeth in annoyance at his presence.
wait, where the fuck is his shirt?
you immediately avert your gaze from his bare skin and look at the girl in front of you who’s trembling, why the fuck did he call you doll with her right beside him?
“look, i know what this looks like but i’m not his girlfriend, i honestly hate him the most out of everyone i know, so you two are still fine, and gosh just wipe those tears please, i hate making people cry” you mumble the last part as the girl sniffles and nod while wiping the tears off her cheek, yoongi coos behind her and gives her a small kiss to the top of her head which makes her grin again.
he has a girlfriend, what is he doing?
you try so hard to hide the deep scowl on your face as you watch the sickeningly sweet exchange in front of you and tap your feet impatiently as you wait for them to finish.
“come in” yoongi says simply and disappears down the hallway with the girl, and you step in sheepishly, you look around the apartment and it’s surprisingly cleaner than you thought it would be, not knowing what to do with both of them gone, you enter the kitchen and plop down on a stool.
“i’ll call you later okay” you hear yoongi whisper and you slam your head on the table in front of you because that is a very sad attempt at a whisper, his whisper is loud as fuck, and it travels all the way to you, and you’re not a liar, his voice sounds hot, it’s husky, low and if someone whispers to you like that, you know that you will melt into a puddle.
you also hear the loud smack of a kiss and it takes everything in you to keep your ass planted on the stool and not run away from here.
the girl appears near the doorway of the kitchen and gives you a bright and happy wave, you wave back at her because as much as her tears surprised you, she still seemed friendly.
“so, what’s in that bag?” yoongi walks into the kitchen, thankfully with a shirt on, and you place the bag on the counter, not saying anything and letting him look through by himself.
“tempura shrimp and fried rice, are you trying to get me to ask you out?” yoongi chuckled as he pulled out the boxes and you frown at his statement.
“don’t flatter yourself” you mumble and pick your phone up to scroll as he sits down to eat, you notice him place a plate in front of you and look up in confusion.
“go on, serve yourself, i’m not doing that for you.” he gestures to the boxes with a wave of his hand.
“this is for you, more precisely for the tattoo.”
“i know doll, just eat the food.” if you aren’t wrong, you can hear some disappointment in his voice and he doesn’t even look at you as he says that, so you just shrug and take a box to fill half your plate with the food and continue to glance at him weirdly from time to time.
this feels strangely domestic, there is nothing but silence as you two eat but for once, you don’t want to strangle him to death, he doesn’t say shit to piss you off either, and the silence is comfortable, you thought it would be awkward to be in his apartment but you don’t feel that way at all.
“i’m still not doing your tattoo” yoongi says and the door shuts in your face as you stand outside his apartment with mouth agape and slumped shoulders.
then why was he being all nice just 10 minutes ago?
you kick the door with your foot and huff out in frustration because you really cannot think of anything else that could convince him.
what are you going to do now?
what could you possibly do now?
wait a minute.
his girlfriend.
“jisoo, are you sure that the girl from the party is still his girlfriend?” you almost yell into the phone to try and make your voice heard even with the loud traffic beside you and jisoo winces from the sound.
“yes, i’m sure, she was bragging about it in class today” you can hear how annoyed jisoo sounds though the phone and bingo!
you know just how to get yoongi to do your tattoo.
-
you get drowned in your own assignments the following week and don’t bother to look for yoongi, and honestly, you forget about the dare until your dear friends remind you at lunch when you were just trying to peacefully eat your food.
and you don’t even see yoongi around the campus anymore, he doesn’t even show up to the one class you have in common, but his attendance is obviously taken care of because of his friends who work in student council, you’re not going to lie, you are jealous of that, you would kill to miss some classes and still have your attendance intact.
“hey seokjin, wait up!” you spot yoongi’s friend down the hallway and you don’t really care that you literally look like a homeless person with your hoodie and loose shorts, you didn’t run all the way across campus to care about how you look, you need to know where the fuck min yoongi is so you can blackmail him and just finish the dare.
“hello y/n” he faintly smiles while sipping his coffee, how does he still look good when he’s tired though? if it weren’t for the fact that he was taken, you would definitely try to get with him but your chance is over. you feel a little self-conscious with your less than appropriate outfit and his polished look, but that shouldn’t be your concern right now.
“where is yoongi? he hasn’t been coming to classes.”
“why do you want to know? don’t you hate him?” he narrows his eyes at you and you slump a little, how many people knew of the fact that you hate each other? it’s not like you can blame them, you both fight in full parties, word is bound to travel.
“i do, i just have something to ask him.”
“is it really important?” he fixes you with a more serious look and you almost feel nervous before clearing your throat and nodding fiercely.
“yes, it is.”
“he’s been hanging out at our friend’s music studio for a while now, you can find him there, i’ll text you the address” and with that, jin blends into the crowd of people around you while you stay frozen.
what does yoongi do in a music studio? you wonder silently with your head tilted as you walk to your next class.
maybe you don’t know him as well as you thought you did.
-
the music studio wasn’t too far away your campus, and you could walk there even with your heavy backpack, you huff once you reach the run-down building, staring at it with curiosity filled in your eyes.
you definitely didn’t know anything about yoongi and music, sure you knew that he was a phenomenal piano player and also that he was very shy about it, you’ve only ever seen him play once and it was only because he was pretty drunk then.
you look around to try and find the room that jin told you about, brushing past several strange looking men but they are the least of your worries, you have dealt with idiots all the time at the bar and in parties, you will beat someone up if they mess with you.
“doll, what the fuck are you doing here?” you hear his irritated voice and silently heave out in relief because you immediately feel safer than you did just a minute ago.
“i should be asking you that.” you look at him with raised eyebrows and watch as he runs a hand across his face exasperatedly, only to march over to you, grabbing your wrist and dragging you with him.
if it were any other man dragging you around like this, you would break their wrist but this was yoongi, you trust yoongi, and  as much as you hate him, you know yoongi would never hurt you.
he pushes the two of you into a room and closes the door behind him, you immediately snatch your wrist from his grip and rub at the spot he gripped too hard.
“okay, you didn’t have to do that.” you mumble while massaging your sore wrist.
“what are you doing here?” he doesn’t hesitate to jump right into it.
and you want to bring up his girlfriend but he looks pretty annoyed, you’re not sure if this is the time to push his buttons even more.
“i just, i was around but the real question is, what are you doing in a music studio?” you throw the question back to him and quickly scan the room you’re in right now, there’s a sound system, a keyboard, some speakers lying around and other equipment you know nothing about.
“i don’t have to tell you that” he deadpans and you retaliate a little, your posture faltering at his firm tone because while yoongi has always been rude to you, there’s a certain coldness to his voice right now that you just don’t recognize.
“you’re right, you don’t.” he really doesn’t. and now, everything you’ve done looks stupid to you, like taking food to his home and meeting some random girl, chasing seokjin on campus even when you don’t have any familiarity with him just to find about yoongi and even refusing to back down from a dare that you could just deny.
you don’t think you’re doing this for the dare anymore.
yoongi sighs when he sees your rigid posture and head hung low because damn it, he feels bad for being mean to you and he never feels bad about being mean to you, being mean to you just comes naturally to him but you just look so small right now, the air of pride and arrogance that you usually carry isn’t around you anymore and yoongi doesn’t know what to do.
“how did you find out?” he asks finally, taking a seat near the equipment and you don’t want to tattle on jin but you have no choice.
“just asked around.” you still tried to cover up jin’s name and yoongi raises his eyebrows at you like he doesn’t believe you.
“fine, seokjin told me” you squeeze out and you just hope that jin isn’t the type to hold grudges.
“you really went all the way to jin to ask about me?” jin is across campus from you, which explains why you don’t know him all that well but you did find out where jin is, just to ask him about yoongi.
but yoongi doesn’t need to know about that.
“don’t think too much about it, i had a class on that way.” you stubbornly lie through your teeth.
“no, you don’t” yoongi spins around in his chair to gather some notes in front of him.
“what?”
“you don’t have a class that way y/n, we both know that.” how the fuck does he know that?
“why didn’t you just ask me? or come to my apartment? you’ve already been there and i truly don’t understand why you went all the way to jin to ask about me.” yoongi’s words are softer, a lot less cold than before, and a lot more like the yoongi you know. which causes the return of your unfaltering confidence.
“i don’t know your number, and i didn’t want to intrude on you in your apartment again.” you answer honestly.
“but you think it’s okay to intrude on me in my studio?” the mocking in his tone doesn’t go past you and for a second, you don’t know what to say but if you’re talented in anything, it has to be the fact that you’re insanely good at changing subjects.
“speaking of the studio, what are you even doing in this studio? don’t you have a tattoo shop to take care of?” you huff and sit down on a nearby stool. you know that you’ve done a wonderful job at changing the topic because yoongi stills in his seat, not a sign of movement from him.
“or you know, just don’t tell me i guess” you add with a petty tone which has him sighing once again and turning in his seat.
“you’re really pushing the limit here, doll.” it sounds like he’s warning you but you have never been one to give a shit about his warnings.
besides, you always thought you knew yoongi, like really know him and as it turns out, you know nothing at all which has you craving to know everything.
“haven’t i always done that?” you flutter your eyelashes at him dramatically which draws a small smile on his face, it’s a rare smile, you’ve only ever seen him smile like that with his friends or when he’s flustered.
interesting.
“fine, i will tell you” you immediately jump in your place, leaning forward to listen with the utmost attention, eyes wide open and lips pursed because you can’t believe mysterious man of the campus (he gave that title to himself last year) is finally opening up to you.
“you can’t tell anyone else, you have to promise me that” the seriousness in his voice tells you he’s definitely not joking around anymore and you aren’t going to do that either, so you sit up straight and nod obediently.
“my tattoo shop, to put in one way, was a rushed decision doll, i don’t know why i thought it would be a good idea but i thought as long as it brought in money for me, i don’t have to worry about anything else but i was wrong. i was so wrong.” admitting his mistake to you, his enemy basically, takes a lot of courage and you can’t help but feel a little touched that he shared it with you. and that he’s willing to share more.
“the income was great, but it isn’t where my heart is at, you know? even the course in college right now, i don’t feel anything towards it but music, ah music makes me feel everything i’ve ever wanted to feel.” yoongi doesn’t know why he feels so comfortable telling you all this when all your previous conversations have been catty comments to each other but when he looks at you listening to him sincerely, he feels like he can tell you anything.
“you probably know that i play the piano?” you nod enthusiastically, finally it was something you knew about him.
“yeah i do, you’re good even when you’re drunk.” you beam at him and he laughs at the stupid grin on your face.
he feels like he’s the teacher here and you’re the teacher’s pet.
but he knows if he says that out loud, you will probably kick him in the leg. and yoongi hates bruises so he shoves that happy thought to the back of his head, he will laugh about it to himself later.
“i’ve been writing songs forever now doll, and i’m finally getting somewhere with it, i’m going to hand over the tattoo shop to my sister and jungkook who are more passionate about it than i will ever be.”
he looks regretful almost, like he started something he couldn’t finish but you see yoongi in a new light now, writing songs, producing music, it isn’t child’s play, you know that a lot goes into putting your emotions into words and you admire yoongi for how honest he was with you even if he didn’t have to be.
“and focus on music full-time?” you ask gently and he nods.
“that is the plan, yes.”
so, this could be why he shut the door on your face even after the tempura prawns and fried rice, he’s going to stop working at the shop soon.
“isn’t jungkook that guy who is friends with jimin?” you distinctly remember jungkook’s name from somewhere but you can’t remember where you’ve seen him.
“yeah, they work at namjoon’s bakery together.” yoongi provides you your answer easily and you snap your fingers, you saw jungkook when you went to get a muffin from namjoon, he told you he would give you a discount and you couldn’t say no to that.
“that’s where i saw him, i remember now.”
yoongi stays silent, drumming his fingers against his leg and thinking by himself, he looked insanely attractive even with that stressed look on his face, he’s even wearing torn jeans today for heavens’ sake and you feel a little hot, you pick at your collar to try and cool your warming body down.
you can’t let him know the effect he has on you.
“you don’t have to worry about me telling anyone, i won’t. your secret’s safe with me” you smile at him and he gives you a grateful look before rubbing his palms on his legs, he doesn’t know what to say anymore and he feels weird just leaving himself completely vulnerable to you but yoongi trusts you, he might hate you but he still trusts you to not be that cruel.
“so, what did you come here for?” he asks, leaning back on his chair and you freeze.
how are you going to tell him that you came all the way here just to blackmail him after he’s told you his passion-filled story?
“it’s nothing important, don’t even worry about it” you wave your hand dismissively with a nervous chuckle leaving your lips and like always, yoongi doesn’t believe you.
“it must have been pretty important if you ran to jin to ask him where i am” he points out and you hate that he’s right.
“it is not important at all.” you lamely respond and yoongi cocks his eyebrow before leaning over and grabbing your stool and pulling him towards you, so that you’re face-to-face with each other.
your heart literally stops beating when his eyes meet yours, his are filled with steely determination and you’re sure that your eyes have wimp written all over them, just what yoongi always called you and it doesn’t help that you can’t think with his breath fanning over your face in hot flashes.
“i-i told you, it’s not important” you whine lightly and yoongi has an easy grin on his face because of your stutter.
“just say it, doll.” the command in his tone is really something you can’t ignore, because not only does it make you shiver, but it also puts you on autopilot to do what he asks.
“i know that the girl that you were with, in your apartment the other day, isn’t your girlfriend” you breath out and your heart returns to its pace when yoongi lets your stool go with a frown.
“girlfriend?”
“your girlfriend is the one from the party so i’m saying that i know you’re cheating on her with that other girl.” you don’t know why you keep talking but you do, you wish you would shut up already because yoongi finally isn’t that much of a mystery anymore and blackmailing him will just put his walls up again, but you don’t shut up.
“what are you trying to do, y/n?” with the lack of his usual nickname, the sentence seems colder, just like the tone he used when you first walked in.
and that’s when you know that any and all progress you’ve made with him is gone in the dust, you think might as well just destroy it all while you’re at it.
“i will keep my mouth shut near your girlfriend if you just finish my tattoo” you have never felt more stupid in your life, because you’re doing all this while you’re fully conscious, at least when you’re drunk, you have an excuse.
“so, you would tell on me if i didn’t do that tattoo for you?” you feel even more like an idiot when he puts it that way but you remind yourself pathetically that you hate him, and you don’t care what he thinks of you, so you nod a simple yes.
“wow doll, you play a nice game, huh?” he chuckles darkly as he throws his head back and you know that while his words might be funny, his tone and expression are anything but.
you shouldn’t feel guilty about this but you do, there’s this sinking feeling in your chest that whatever you’re doing right now, is not worth it.
just when you open your mouth to take back the words you’ve said and apologize and reassure him that you see him with more respect now, that his story and secret will forever be safe with you, that you admire his passion, you don’t get the chance to when yoongi shuts you up with his.
“fine, i’ll do your stupid tattoo, now get out of my studio.” your heart sinks at his blunt words and he says them while not looking at you at all, you know that you deserve it though which is why you shamefully nod and turns towards the door, leaving him alone in his studio again.
-
the next few days are a blur, and you’re back at some stupid party.
you needed to forget.
but as much as you tried to push yoongi away from your thoughts, there’s this nagging feeling that claws at you, you don’t understand why you feel as guilty as you do, but it doesn’t go away, it increased each time he saw you in campus and turned his head away like you were nothing to him.
and you hate that you’re nothing to him, you were at least an enemy before but now, he disregards you so easily.
why do you want to be something to him?
you aren’t stupid enough to bring up the tattoo though, you just figured you would give him the chance to tell you or just not get it at all, you are not going to run your mouth again.
“oh, jin’s here, did you hear about his girlfriend? i heard she’s trouble” you hear someone mumble next to you, and you immediately look up to see yoongi with jin and some other friends you don’t recognize, he doesn’t see you though and you want to hide away, you don’t want to see him just yet.
you duck your head low, clutching your red solo cup in your hand and moving away from his line of sight, the only place you know that is safe from everyone in this party is the balcony upstairs so you inform your friends that you’re going to get some air and leave.
as soon as you open the door, you welcome the fresh air that greets you, the night is especially cold and windy but you love it, you just tug your leather jacket closer and lean your body on the railing as you think back on everything that’s been happening.
why did you open your mouth in the studio?
why did you go to the studio at all?
why are you so desperate to prove your friends wrong?
maybe your friends were right? that can’t be though, you don’t like yoongi that way. or at least, you don’t know if you do.
you bite your lip once you feel tears of frustration pooling in your eyes because you brought this on yourself and you don’t even understand why you are so mad about this like yoongi used to mean nothing to you or did you just think he meant nothing to you?
you really want to call off the dare because at this point, it’s gotten too far.
“it’s freezing here, come back in.” you stiffen at the sound of yoongi and don’t even turn around, you just wish he goes away because of how you’re ignoring him. you hear steps and you almost sigh in relief, thinking that he left but when the steps keep getting louder, you turn around confusedly only to see yoongi walking towards you. he reaches where you stand as you hold your breath and he just looks at you while you look away with flushed cheeks.
“this isn’t the time to be stubborn doll, just come in.” he lightly scolds you and you huff out in frustration.
“why don’t you go in?” you snap, finally looking at him and almost instantly shrink back down because you’re really in no position to give him an attitude. yoongi clenches his jaw, trying hard to mask his annoyance because he doesn’t understand why he can’t get his feet to just move and leave you alone like you clearly want him to.
“i told you i will do the damn tattoo, why are you still being a bitch?” his words are like a harsh slap to your face, does he really think you’re still going on about the tattoo?
“this isn’t about the fucking tattoo, yoongi!” you yell at him, throwing your hands in the air and running a hand though your hair, almost pulling too harshly at the roots.
“then what is it about?” he crosses his arms over his chest, taking more steps towards you and looks at you sternly, and you don’t know what to tell him.
“you won’t understand” you shake your head pathetically, now even more confused with the close proximity you two shared but yoongi doesn’t move, he stays right where he is, so close to you that you feel dizzy.
“you don’t know that” he fires back and up close, you can see his frown getting deeper. the tension in the air is high and both of you are breathing heavier than necessary and your eyes stay glued on each other, if you moved a little more, you would be fully leaning on him and even from your position, you can feel his body heat.
“i used to think you meant nothing to me and all you’ll ever be is someone who will drive my nail to the wall, but turns out, i was fucking wrong about that, i was wrong and i can’t stand being nothing to you and you definitely don’t mean nothing to me anymore, and i don’t even know why i’m telling you all of this when you obviously don’t give a shit.” you hold your gaze as you try to put your emotions into words, it’s a mess but you feel lighter, things are ruined anyway and all you want to do right now is pull him close to you and just hold him all night even as you’re yelling at him, as fucked up as that sounds.
“do you really want to know what’s going on?” your voice is reduced to a mumble as your eyes shift from his eyes and move towards his lips, his gaze travels with yours and his eyes land on your lips too, and before he could let another breath out, you pull his collar to you and tilt your head to meet his lips.
yoongi responds immediately, his hands snaking around your waist to squeeze your hips and pulling you closer till your chest met his, as your fingers tangle themselves in his hair, tugging lightly, just enough to make him groan lowly, and the sound sends a shiver down your body.
neither of you pull apart for air, just letting yourself getting lost in him, in the taste of him that you’ve been unknowingly chasing for so long, and every touch he leaves on your body feels like a trail of fire that burns bright.
kissing yoongi was probably the best thing you’ll ever experience in your life.
and you’re scared to pull away because you know that nothing will ever be the same again, you just want to stay in this moment for as long as you can, forever if you can, avoid reality for as long as you can.
but of course, not all of your wishes come true.
you eventually push lightly at his chest to gasp for air, fingers curling around his shirt, you don’t want to let go and he leans his forehead on yours, breathing heavily as well, his eyes are tender as they watch you catch your breath, his hands leave your hips and gingerly reach out to tuck your hair back into place, all while his eyes never leaves yours and everything feels so intimate and delicate, like it’s just you and him in this night, every sound, anyone else are all white noise.
“yoongi” you mutter as you slip your fingers away from his hair and he shakes his head, taking your hand in his and holding it to the side of his face.
“please don’t say anything” there is pleading in his tone, a wish that you owe him for all the times you’ve fucked up so you do as he says, you let him caress your hands as his forehead never leaves yours, but he isn’t looking at you anymore, you don’t complain though because this way, you can look at him all you want and he will never know.
but after a while of just letting the wind embrace you two, you decide that you can’t live in this feeling forever, especially when everything feels so confusing and neither of you have a clue about what is going on, the only thing you know is that you’re in each other’s arms and that’s it, that’s all you know.
and that’s not enough.
“yoongi, your girlfriend” you whisper painfully, your heart is caught in your throat when his fingers pause on your skin, slowly retracting back to himself and he leans away from you, hands still loosely gripping your fingers, you already miss his warmth enveloping you. but you can’t be selfish, it’s no longer only both of your hearts that are involved.
“we can’t do this.” you pull yourself away from him and wipe the corners of your eyes that almost leak your tears, yoongi doesn’t say anything, but his silence is his surrender to the situation, you take his silence to be his agreement with you, that this isn’t okay.
taking his silence and compliance as your answer, you leave before your heart breaks even more than it already has.
-
you walk around like a breathing shell around the campus, regretting nothing and everything at the same time.
you don’t regret kissing yoongi, you don’t think you ever will but you regret how it happened, you regret the situation you put the two of you in.
but he kissed you back, that’s what confuses you the most, you fully expected him to tear away from you and curse at you while wiping his lips but he didn’t, he kissed you back, like actually pulled you closer till you couldn’t feel anything but him.
you want to ask him why he did that, but you can’t. you can’t look at him without feeling complete humiliation because you might have just been another girl for yoongi, another girl for him to cheat on his girlfriend with and you feel…worthless.
and you also broke girl code, something you firmly believed in, or at least used to believe in, you want to talk to his girlfriend and tell her so that she won’t be constantly lied to but you also don’t want to get involved with yoongi again.
you push your books away with a groan and throw your pen on the desk you’re sat on; you can’t concentrate for shit and you really just want to disappear for a few days. when your phone dings, you almost throw it out the window because you told your friends that you needed space after they saw you looking dull at the party and you aren’t in the mood to party and forget even if that sounds lovely.
you grab your phone with a frown and squint at it when the bright light blinds you for a second, you curse yourself and reduce the brightness to see a message from an unknown number.
from: xxxxxxx
tomorrow, 9 in the morning, get the tattoo done or forget about it.
you just stare at the screen for a few minutes, it’s definitely him, even through the text messages, you know that it’s him, and he’s offering to do the tattoo? even after everything?
it isn’t right to go for it but you’ve got a dare to finish, right?
-
genius lab ended up being so far away from your apartment, that by the time you got to the front of it, you were heaving like a pregnant women, and you heavily grasp the handle of the shop, pulling it open with all the strength you have left. you stumble in to see a pretty empty shop, it is a working day so that isn’t a surprise, you wipe the sweat off your forehead as you look around for yoongi.
what are you even going to say?
‘hello, the kiss was great and i still feel weak from it but let’s forget that happened because that basically was just you cheating on your girlfriend?’
that doesn’t sound right.
“y/n, right?” you look up to see a younger, handsome man at the counter.
“jungkook?” he smiles and nods his head, extending his hand towards you, you shake it with a smile of your own and you really shouldn’t be smiling, considering your situation but jungkook has a very infectious aura, very bright and filled with joy.
you like him already.
“yoongi hyung is in the back room, he told me to tell you to go there” he gestures towards the other end of the room and you want to turn and run away from here, because as far as you can tell, the back rooms are private places meaning it’s just going to be you and yoongi.
your original plan was to look at other customers as you get yours done but how can you look at anything in a room if yoongi was going to be the only person in there?
“is that so? then i’ll get going in there, good luck here jungkook” you give him a nervous smile and he beams at you with a nod, eyes shining and you coo at how adorable he looks before you take a deep breath to calm yourself and slowly walk towards the room.
you’re only here for the tattoo and nothing else, you won’t talk with yoongi at all or even look at him, just let him do the tattoo and leave.
there you go, perfect plan.
you push against the door with your hip, peeking in to see yoongi with his back to you and you take a quick step back, clutching your hand on your racing heart, you haven’t even seen him fully but you’re not sure if you can stop yourself from lunging at him.
“are you just going to stand there, doll?” just as you’re about to tip-toe your way out of the tattoo shop and hopefully move to a remote island where you don’t have to worry about anyone, yoongi calls you out, with his back still to you.
how did he even know that you were there?
you clear your throat a little and step into the room, the walls are white and there’s a few boards filled with drawings here and there, and then there is yoongi who apparently has decided to wreck you by wearing torn jeans and a black hoodie.
the outfit isn’t special by any means but you already feel weak in the knees.
you decide to walk over to him with your knees still wobbly and your breath shakier than it was and look over his shoulder to see him working on a tattoo design, probably yours, you lean over to see it properly and gasp at the delicate baby’s breath drawing, your favorite flower.
“i didn’t draw it, my sister did” he mumbles as continues tracing it carefully.
“your sister is talented” you say honestly and he hums in agreement.
okay, so you two are going to act like yesterday didn’t happen, you can definitely go along with that.
“stop loitering doll, just sit down on the chair” he can’t focus when you’re walking around him with big, curious eyes and a small smile dancing on your lips, and he feels bad when you sigh in disappointment and silently walk to the big chair in the middle of the room.
but he can’t do anything about it, he expected you to be your usual self and fire back at him but you didn’t and he doesn’t have a good feeling about that.
he heads over to the chair with the tattoo design ready in his hands, he instructs you to lay down and makes sure you’re fully comfortable and his side keeps pressing against your body as he leans over to prepare things for the tattoo and it takes everything in you to not kiss him again. so, you keep yourself busy, fiddling with the hem of your shirt.
“you’re going to have to look at me if we’re doing this, y/n” he says and you lift your gaze to see him looking at you with a face you can’t read or decipher but you hold his stare as he circles around you to flicker some lights on you.
“where do you want the tattoo?” he asks, pushing his sleeves up, to reveal scatters of small tattoos all over his arms and you gulp at the visible veins on his hands.
“i get to choose?” you raise your eyebrows and he shrugs.
“well, it’s your body doll, i think it was cruel enough to make you do this, so yes, you do.”
you do know where you want to get it, you always thought that if ever, one day, you decide to be brave and get a tattoo, there’s one spot you’ve wanted it to be but you’re not sure if yoongi will be okay with it.
do you really want to push your luck here?
“are you sure you’re comfortable with anywhere?” you decided to ask him and he frowns at you like there’s an obvious answer.
“yes, that’s my job.”
“right” you purse your lips and nod as he looks at you expectantly.
“i want it on the side on my waist” you whisper and yoongi drops his head with a chuckle.
“doll, do you want to kill me?” and your face heats up at his tone and at the way he looks up with a smirk, nodding while putting on his gloves.
“then you will have it on the side of your waist, you have to push your shirt up by a lot, like right under your bra and hold it there, understood?” you do a double take at his straightforward tone, like talking about your bra is totally normal but you just bob your head hastily and agree to whatever he’s saying, trying to not make a big deal out of it but you’re sure that your red face is a dead giveaway.
“okay, lay on your side” he places his hand on your shoulder and gently pushes you back on the reclined seat, and you huff deeply because it’s only now dawning on you that you’re getting a tattoo done by yoongi, it’s going to be on your waist and you feel stupid for not just going for your arm. you stiffen under him and watch with wide eyes as he places the needles on the table, those look painful and you’re genuinely terrified now.
“scared of needles?” you nod numbly to his question, squeezing your eyes shut and trying to get rid of the image of those needles.
“it’s whatever, it’s fine” you breath out but your body definitely gives you away, your hands are shaking and you’re sure that you feel dizzy.
“doll, take it easy, it’s going to be over in no time and just remember to breath properly during it” when he gets no response from you, and your eyes are still closed, he realizes how scared you are.
“you want me to distract you?”
“please.” you mumble and he wordlessly lifts your shirt for you because you don’t look like you’re going to move but he keeps his eyes on your face while he does that, carefully tucking your shirt under your arm to keep it from moving away and if you weren’t as scared as were right now, you would have noticed the goosebumps that rise everywhere his touch reaches.
he gently holds your shirt in place and places the drawing on your skin, putting it flat and rubbing it slowly so that it would transfer well, and you feel weirdly hot, he’s just doing his job but you really want to just grab him and take him right there.
“okay, i will draw over this and then we will get to the actual tattoo” you actually shiver a little when you feel one of his hands tracing the design and the other slightly pulling on your skin so that it stays taut and you don’t know why the fuck you agreed to this because you’re clearly suffering here.
“what do you think of weird food combinations?” he suddenly asks once he’s done with the tracing.
“some are alright, i guess” you answer and then you hear the sound of the drilling needle causing you to let out a low whine and bury your face into the seat you’re lying on.
you should have stayed home, even the sound is freaking you out.
“which ones, according to you, are acceptable?”
“i don’t think mint chocolate is as bad as people make it out to be.” he scoffs at your response, making you frown.
“what is your problem?” you snap at him and yoongi smiles because you’re finally talking to him like you always do, he would recognize that tone of yours anywhere.
“mint chocolate is horrible, doll, i thought you had taste.” he clicks his tongue at you and you immediately go on a rant about how mint chocolate is too hated of a flavor and that at the end of the day, it’s just food and everyone has different tastes.
somewhere in the middle of your rant, yoongi looks at you fondly, you’re always so passionate about everything, even the simplest things, you make it sound and feel like how music affects him, and just as you’re almost done with your rant, he presses the needle on your skin making you yelp and you would’ve jumped and ended up scarring your skin if it weren’t for his hands holding you down.
this hurts this hurts this hurts.
it’s all you can think of as he slowly moves the needle around, looking at you every once in a while to check if you’re okay.
“i never got to tell you this but i think you following your passion with music is really cool and i really respect you for that, i hope you know that i will always support you on it.” you breath out quickly and if you weren’t here, yoongi would’ve cried because he appreciates your words so much, he pats your head in thanks, mumbling how grateful he is and it’s delicate, just like your first kiss.
it doesn’t last long though.
“you know, a food combination i like is french fries and vanilla ice cream.” your mouth drops open at his words, that sounds nasty as hell.
“why are you looking at me like that?” he laughs at your scrunched up face.
“what the fuck do you mean by french fries and vanilla ice cream?” you practically growled at him while looking at him with pointed eyes, can this tattoo be done anytime soon?
“don’t say shit when you haven’t tried it.” he smirks at your annoyed expression and you just glare at him.
“i don’t have to try that monstrosity to know that it tastes like trash.” you snap at him with raised eyebrows and just when he is about to reiterate with another comment, you unconsciously move, you hear him tut and hold you back down with a strong grip.
“sit still doll, or i might just drive this needle into your nerves and leave you paralyzed for life.” you know his warning doesn’t mean shit but you stay silent and stop moving anyways.
wait, you haven’t felt pain for the past five minutes, and you realize it’s because yoongi distracted you, he could’ve just done his job and leave you to suffer alone but he didn’t, and your heart swells a little.
that was sweet of him.
“how did you know that i like baby’s breath?” yoongi pauses with the needle but then continues like nothing happened at all.
“asked around” he casually replies and you roll your eyes, of course he would say that.
“yoongi, we need to talk about what happened in the party” you nervously but finally address the elephant in the room, biting your lip once the pain increases again.
“when i have a needle in my hand, really?” he looks up with an exasperated expression and you nod.
“with a needle in your hand, yes.”
“doll, all i’ve got to say is, i don’t know why you think i have a girlfriend” he laughs a little as he continues moving the needle against your skin.
wait what?
“what?”
“wait a second, your tattoo is almost over” you let him finish up while you are lost in your own thoughts, you are once again confused about everything and you don’t even feel the pain anymore, he places a patch over the tattoo after you get a look of it and you have to admit, he might not have passion in this but he’s surely talented.
he helps you sit up slowly, holding both of your hands firmly and pulling you forward till your legs almost wrapped themselves against his waist, he doesn’t let go of your hands though.
“i don’t have a girlfriend, and the only reason i let you go that night was because you didn’t look like yourself, i didn’t want to take advantage of you when you were that emotionally vulnerable, i don’t think i’ve ever seen you that dull.” he speaks sincerely and you know that he’s honest but you’ve still got so many questions.
“so, what about the girl from the previous party? the one where we played spin the bottle?”
“she wasn’t my girlfriend, i didn’t even sleep with her that night.” he shook his head as he said it and you narrow your eyes at him.
“well, she doesn’t know that because she’s bragging to everyone that you’re her boyfriend” you poke a finger at his chest accusingly and he chuckles.
“let her, i know who’s i want to be and it’s not her” your cheeks flush when he looks at you pointedly as he says that, you clear your throat and sit up straighter, taking this new information gracefully and doing a little happy dance in your heart, you wrap your arms around his neck and plays with the ends of his hair as he can’t help but grin at you.
“what about at the studio? you got so mad” you mumble sadly because you still remember how heartbroken you were that day and yoongi sighs, patting your cheek and rubbing his thumbs in circles on them.
“well, girlfriend or not, i didn’t like that you blackmailed me, doll. i had just opened up to you and you hit me with that so yeah, i was mad but i’m not anymore, okay? i know how stupid you can be sometimes” he adds the last part teasingly and you immediately gasp, pulling away from him and hitting his chest though a huge smile blooms on your face. yoongi laughs happily as you continue to try to hit him as he dodges.
eventually he gets tired of moving away from you, so he grabs your hands in his and pulls you closer till your lips meet his, your wrists stay captured in his hands as you kiss him back with every bit of your nerves ignited with a fresh need, you pull away from him with a small giggle while he wears a dopey grin.
“i hate you so much” you mumble against his lips with a huge grin, but like any other time, you don’t have a scowl on your face nor do you mean those words at all, he hums in agreement, pecking you one more time and cupping your face in his hands.
“trust me doll, i hate you so much more” he coos at you and you laugh at him because you know he doesn’t mean it either, you know that the word hate is just a replacement for love when it comes to the two of you, the way his eyes sparkle at you with a newfound joy tells you enough, and your laugh only gleefully extends once he starts peppering kisses all over your face as you try to swat him away.
so yes, you hate yoongi a lot, you hate min yoongi the most.
to: jisoo
the dare’s done, you can get off my ass about it! and guess who has a boyfriend now? 😉
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ultimate-cinephile · 3 years
Text
HOW THEY SEEK COMFORT
(MHA Edition)
planning on doing multiple parts to this-
lmk if you have any fandoms you'd like to see with this!
fair warning: this is loooonnggg
also, i'm sure we're all aware of dabi's backstory by now but in case you aren't, i reference it, so SPOILER ALERT, be careful! same goes for shigaraki.
CHARACTERS: Shoto Todoroki, Katsuki Bakugo, Izuku Midoriya, Dabi, Tomura Shigaraki, Tamaki Amajiki, Mirio Togata
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SHOTO TODOROKI
- he waits until he has you in his arms
- you're on your bed
- his face is buried in between your shoulder blades and his arms were wrapped tightly around your waist
- and he's just ranting into your back
- he doesn't expect you to say anything
- he's honestly not even sure how much you catch due to how muffled his voice is by your shirt
- it makes him feel better nonetheless
- he gets everything off his chest and he gets to hold you
- it never fails to make him feel better
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KATSUKI BAKUGO
- he won't ever admit that he's feeling down
- he's still mad that he broke in front of Deku that one time and he very rarely does it in front of you
- it's a pride thing, don't push him
- a surefire way to tell when Katsuki's feeling upset is by the way he holds you
- normally he's the big spoon
- and yeah, sure, when he's upset he's still the one holding you
- but usually it's your back to his chest and his head on top of yours
- when he's feeling insecure or upset, you're facing him and his face is buried in your neck
- your scent grounds him more than anything and it never fails to calm him down after a tough day
- also headpats
- when it's not from his mom that is
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IZUKU MIDORIYA
- deku is another one with any number of reasons to get upset
- when he does, he just lays his head on your chest and listens to your heartbeat
- he's calm in a few minutes
- he's also asleep
- you're not going anywhere for awhile so i hope you're comfortable!
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DABI
- dabi is another one that will never admit he's feeling down
- or anything for that matter
- for all anyone knows, he's an untouchable villains how only feels hatred towards villains
- a psychotic monster who will stop at nothing to achieve his goals
- you know better
- you've seen him through his highs and lows
- you know how being a todoroki affected him
- having all of his father's love and then being cast aside like he was nothing the moment shoto showed any sign of promise
- you've seen him at his weakest
- so naturally, when he feels about ready to break again, he seeks you out
- he will never ever admit this but he secretly loves it when you kiss his scars
- it makes him fall more in love with you every time you do it
- he's always felt insecure about them, so feeling you kiss over them and call them beautiful makes him soft and it takes his mind off of whatever was bothering him this time
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TOMURA SHIGARAKI
- do you honestly think this man has healthy coping mechanisms??
- the answer is no
- not in the slightest
- when he's stressed, he games more or he dusts things
- it's really bad if he starts dusting things
- if he's doing that, I recommend letting him have his distance because he's most liable to hurt you then
- just because it's usually a blind rage
- anyways, if he's gaming, it's okay to approach him
- especially since he hasn't left the chair in over eighteen hours and hasn't slept at all
- tell him that The Witcher will still be there after a nap and lead him to the bed
- he's going to protest at first
- but the moment you run a hand through his hair, he forgets what he was even upset about and he's out in seconds
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TAMAKI AMAJIKI
- he's no stranger to needing comfort
- he needed it long before he had you and he definitely has ways to cope
- he keeps a journal that details all his little thoughts and anxieties
- but what he does with you is sweet
- you two share a spotify account
- and you made him a playlist specifically for when he's feeling anxious
- just little songs that have a nice, calming vibe to them
- or just songs that remind you of him
- it always reminds him how much he loves you and how much you love him
- so if mirio is ever teasing tamaki about having that dorky lovesick smile on his face in the middle of class, you know what's up
- and it's adorable
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MIRIO TOGATA
- mirio hardly ever gets sad, anxious, or overwhelmed
- but after the Hassaikai and loosing Sir Nighteye and his Quirk, he's a lot more prone to it
- and he quickly finds out that your scent, like Bakugo, puts him at ease more than anything
- so, he's immediately looking for you
- when he finds you, he's just wrapping his arms around you and burying his face in your hair
- he really, really, really loves the scent of your shampoo
- if he sees you're busy or in the middle of something important, he won't do that
- instead, he goes up to your room and buries himself in your bed
- it has become quite common to walk into your room to find your goofball of a boyfriend buried under every blanket you own with his nose buried in one of your hoodies as he dozes peacefully
- or so you think as you go to let him be and he suddenly pulls you into the bed with him
- you two wind up being cocooned in the blankets and watching netflix a perfect date omg-
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urupotter · 3 years
Text
So while I've said before that I don't like the HP subreddit, I still frequent it because occasionally I read something insightful. This is one such case, where I read a reading of Lupin that I'd never seen before in response to a comment of mine analyzing the shrieking shack confrontation between Snape, Remus, Sirius and the golden trio, where I mentioned that Lupin was a gaslighter so I wanted to share. It was created by reddit user u/UsuallySiSometimesNo and is posted here with his permission. We had a little conversation in the comments. Read it under the cut
UsuallySiSometimesNo: That struck a cord with me, too. I didn't think about that on a conscious level before, but when I read it, it felt instantly true.
Honestly, I think the strongest examples of Lupin gaslighting are actually done to himself. The biggest, character-defining example, I think, is that after finding friendship with James, Sirius, and Peter, he becomes so desperate not to be ostracized from them (due to his issues of self-worth and his personal brand of impostor syndrome) that he deliberately and routinely feeds himself false narratives about their behavior until he can no longer tell fact from fiction, even as he's experiencing it.
Their relentless bullying of Snape? A childhood rivalry.
Their casual bullying of other students? Kids being young and stupid.
Their clear disinterest verging on contempt for Peter, someone less fortunate and vulnerable with whom they're supposed to be good friends? Just mates being mates.
Even actions taken against Lupin, himself, are revised in his memory to be 'no big deal', because he desperately needs that to be true. Let's pretend for a moment that Snape indisputably deserved to be slaughtered by a werewolf the night Sirius told him how to get past the Whomping Willow. Sirius did not send Snape to be killed by any old werewolf. What happened that night was that Sirius - one of Remus' best friends, if not his actual best friend - attempted to use Remus' curse/illness against someone (which is a big enough betrayal on it's own) without ever telling Remus that when he woke up in the morning (covered in blood and in the presence of a shredded corpse) it would be to find that he had committed the act he was most petrified he might one day commit. In setting Snape up to be killed by Lupin, Sirius, at the very least, risked Lupin's sanity, and, at the very most, risked Lupin being sentenced to death.
Now, I understand that Sirius wasn't thinking about all of that when he did what he did, and I, as a someone removed from the situation (and armed with the additional character/situational knowledge granted to a reader) can even understand why Sirius' own trauma led him to grant such a blind death sentence to Snape (which I think is related to a point you made elsewhere, u/Adventure_Time_Snail, about Sirius' "violence towards those who trigger his fundamental fear of wizard fascists" because of his abusive upbringing). But Lupin's perspective is not one of an unbiased observer. And once James found out what was happening and pulled Snape back before it was too late (which, I would think, was more to save Lupin than to save Snape) and once Remus awoke the next to day to discover everything that transpired the night before, I find it hard to believe there wasn't at least some conversation about the true gravity of the situation. And yet, even all these years later, Lupin doesn't bat an eye when Sirius not only doesn't display shame when the event is mentioned in POA, but offers something akin to regret, NOT at the fact that his actions could have gotten Lupin killed, but that that they DIDN'T get Snape killed: "It served him right...", he sneered. etc. etc.
I think the obvious question here, is 'Even disregarding what Sirius did to Snape - how can Lupin be okay with the knowledge that Sirius has no regret, at all, for what he did to him, even now that they're adults?' Well, we're not in Lupin's point of view in the books, which means we can't hear his internal monologue, but I think a satisfactory answer to the question is that he's done a substantial amount of internal gymnastics in order to get to a point where he doesn't see this as a big deal, or even as something that he has a right to be upset about.... just like a gaslighter does to their victim.
Again, because we're not in Lupin's POV, we can't point to the exact instances that such internal gaslighting took place, but, based on what we do observe from Harry's POV (and based on external knowledge of gaslighting as a true-to-life concept) I wouldn't be surprised if Lupin so desperately needs everything to be okay that he derides himself for feeling bad or betrayed, that he calls himself stupid for thinking terrible things that have happened to him are a big deal, that he wars with himself about how people who are his friends and who are so good to him and who are better friends than he thinks he deserves could possibly do something to harm him/others, and that he beats down whatever emotions and senses and gut feelings he has that tells him something his friends have done might be very wrong. What we see in the books is a man who makes excuses for his friends and harbors a warped perception of reality in much the same way victims of gaslighting do, and he seems to exploit his own insecurities in order to instill doubt in his own experiences in much the same way perpetrators of gaslighting do.
I can't help but think that, by the time Lupin tells Harry that Snape harbors a particularly strong hatred for James because James was a better Quidditch player, Lupin has become so adept at gaslighting himself that he actually believes it.
tl;dr: One of Lupin's defining characteristics is that he gaslights himself out of a desperate need to be liked by others, since he has a difficult time liking himself and seems to believe all of his relationships are incredibly fragile.
Urupotter:
This is a fascinating reading on Lupin that I've never seen. I don't read him the same way, in that I think Lupin actually does know that what he's doing is wrong, he just doesn't have the moral courage to act on his conscience. (I view him as the anti Snape, great conscience, but abysmal moral courage, while Snape had unbelievable moral courage but a shitty conscience. Their arcs are about growing their moral courage and their conscience respectively) Realizing that his negligence almost got Harry killed is what triggers his arc, concluding when he goes back to Tonks and Teddy after running away, taking responsibility for his actions for the first time.
But this reading is so interesting that I'll have to reflect on it. Do you mind if I post it on my Harry Potter tumblr blog? I'll credit you of course, I would just like to discuss it with my followers. Of course if you don't want to I won't.
UsuallySiSometimesNo:
Honestly, I think the lack of in-depth conversation about Remus Lupin (at least compared to fan favorites Sirius Black and Severus Snape) is a missed opportunity and a shame. Don't get me wrong, I can discuss Sirius and Snape until blue in the face, but Lupin's arc is just as powerful in an understated (and often underestimated) way. The muddy, oversimplified truth is, without the fatal-flaw decision making of all four Marauders throughout their lives, the series of events proceeding the first chapter of the first book don't happen, and the story we all know and love never comes to be.
And speaking of sparking a discussion about Lupin...
I think Lupin actually does know that what he's doing is wrong, he just doesn't have the moral courage to act on his conscience.
You know what? I agree. And that's what makes him so interesting, I think. He is constantly and dependably full to bursting with internal conflict. When his friends are wrong/do something wrong/say something wrong, he can and does immediately identify the situation as wrong. When he does something wrong, or when he does nothing in the face of something wrong, in that moment I believe he knows the full weight of the situation. Like you said, he has a strong conscience, as well as a deeper, perhaps more nuanced understanding of right and wrong than do, for example, James and Sirius. Now, Lupin needs his friends. They're not just people to hang out with, they're a lifeline for him. He's not going to engage in conflict with them if there is even the slightest chance that he might lose them (for a variety of reasons, he lacks, as you said, the moral courage to do so). But he's also a generally decent human being, and with a strong conscience comes the capacity for sincere guilt and remorse. So, not only will he not confront his friends, he needs it to be okay that he doesn't confront them. And it's at that point that I think the self gaslighting is triggered.
But Lupin is intelligent and nobody's fool, so the gaslighting creates only a thin layer of ice over the problem. Just enough of a cover that he can live with the things he would otherwise deeply regret. I do think he believes the alternative reality he makes for himself to be accurate as long as it isn't really challenged. Crack the ice, though, and we see him express remorse and reveal an underlying awareness of past and present truths. But then the moment is over, and the war between the uncomfortably and full weight of the truth and his need for the companionship of his friends returns, and then the gaslighting begins again, allowing him an easier return to his closest friends (and eventually his closest friend, singular, after the others have been taken from him as was his fear all along) without conflict and with minimal strain on his conscience.
Once Sirius, the last of his original chosen family is gone - truly gone, as opposed to 'located elsewhere' as he was when in prison - following OOtP, suddenly Lupin's arc takes off at a greater speed than at any point prior. He's now literally lost all of the people he'd been terrified of figuratively losing. Although there are still people and things he cares about, he isn't as dependent on any of them as he was on those foundational friendships, and the finality of their absence allows him to finally grow beyond his stifling cycle of reality shifting, confront the truths of his reality and his circumstances, and, as you said, finally take responsibility by returning to Tonks and Teddy - a decision that, ultimately, triggers his death (I don't mean to imply that it was a bad decision or that it's the sole cause of his death, but Rowling has said that being 'out of practice' contributed to his loss at the Battle of Hogwarts, which makes for a fantastic tragedy).
I don't mean to overstate the importance of this theory or imply that it's always present when he's on-stage, and, as with anyone, many other elements, of course, factor into his actions/words/motives. But I think it's a fascinating potential component of his character all the same. If you have more thoughts on this, I love to hear them - and I look forward to reading the discussion on your blog!
So what do you think? Is this a valid reading of Lupin? I'd say it is, but I'm interested in reading my followers thoughts!
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