Tumgik
#Like i literally have NOTHING to do
astralpenguin · 1 year
Text
self care is writing a fic that you’re literally the sole target audience for
41K notes · View notes
inkskinned · 7 months
Text
the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
10K notes · View notes
lazylittledragon · 1 month
Text
i refuse to believe that boycotting is hard. my favourite thing in the world is ordering maccies after a late night at work/a concert/getting drunk. yes i do miss it sometimes. but the other night i ordered from a small place near my house instead and it was the most orgasmic burger i've ever had in my life. i very rarely say this but fucking suck it up people are DEAD
2K notes · View notes
pdfbabe · 1 year
Text
spotify will be like are you a HARDCORE PUNK do you HATE THE ESTABLISHMENT and want some songs to BEAT UP COPS TO? listen to our PUNK PLAYLIST! and the playlist is like. welcome to the black parade
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
12K notes · View notes
theygender · 2 years
Text
The more I learn about judaism the more I wonder where tf christianity got all its bad shit. Why is divorce a sin in christianity when judaism has recognized the right to divorce for nearly a millennia and has codified religious laws for it. Why does christianity consider sex to be dirty (to the point where puritans considered it a sin to enjoy having sex with your own spouse) when in judaism it's considered holy and it's a literal mitzvah to have sex with your spouse on the sabbath. Why does christianity consider it a sign that you're faithless if you question your religion when in judaism that's considered an essential part to developing your faith. I'm probably stating the obvious here but I still can't get over the fact that there's no historical basis to any of this shit before christianity started, it's like christians just said "hey guys what if we took the torah and built a new religion around it but this time it was actively hostile to human life"
#rambling#disclaimer this isnt about individual christians im speaking about the religious trauma i experienced in my own life etc etc#these are just a few examples that I've noticed but they're definitely something#the part about sex in particular shocked me bc sex is pretty much viewed as actively evil in a lot of christian denominations#like you should only do it to create children and if you take pleasure in it (even if its with your own spouse) youre a dirty sinner#there arent as many examples like this nowadays but if you read puritan laws about sex it's like#you're allowed to have sex with your wife basically 10 times a year but you have to be fully clothed with the lights off#and you cant have sex on a holiday or a sunday and you cant touch each other and you have to try as hard as possible to hate it#literally WHERE did that mindset come from?? like for real#in judaism having sex with your spouse is basically considered a celebration of everything holy#and if you have sex on the sabbath (the holiest day in the jewish calendar—above every holiday)#its considered TWICE as holy#make it make sense#this is one of the things people mean when they say that lumping judaism in with christianity as 'abrahamic' religions is meaningless#theyre literally nothing alike#the only similarity is the torah but thats only half of the christian bible and one third of the jewish one#AND christianity interprets most of it completely differently from how judaism does#im tired#greatest hits#hall of fame
25K notes · View notes
blueslight · 1 year
Text
Im in such a weirdly shit mood today i feel so sad and isolated and BORED out of my motherfucking mind and I just feel like asssss
#Like i literally have NOTHING to do#and i got really sad earlier thinking about how i dont feel comfortable in my extended friend group anymore . and like idk ive been#questioning stuff lately like my morals and stuff and my values#and like thinking about graduating exhausts me cuz on one hand like . prom. i dont wanna go like genuinely i wouldnt have any more fun than#i can have at home but at the same.time i guess a part of me is sad .? that i dont wanna go to prom and that ill miss out maybe#and same w all social stufff basically like I genuinely dont think i enjoy large social gatherings but also i cant tell for 100% sure yk#and a part of me IS sad that i cant have a normal teen experience#but mostly that like. i cant relate to anyone really. It feels like the divide between me and people just keeps growing the more#-i stop faking things and masking and stuff#but i cant tell if the way i feel abt some stuff is morallly alright . for example a someone in our friend group hangs out with people that#make racist jokes. and I sorta judge him for it CUZ i thinm its lacking a moral.backbone. but at thw same time maybe its weird of me to#think thar way and worse maybe its hypocritical cuz like. for example i listen to bands that have done some shitty stuff (only to a certain#degree of course like i have my boundaries) and i think the like hypercritical 'cancek culture' sort of mindset is stupid and unhealthy#and like you shouldn't be expected to only associate with morally perfect thimgs. but also i dont think you should be friends with shitty#people cuz thats different yk.. but everyone is so tied to each other in a way i wont ever understand#and like maybe its just easy for me to say cuz i dont have much experienxe w stuff like that‚ maybe i just think you can#cut people.off if theyre too shitty cuz ive never really been in that Situation#but like if my friend made a racist joke or something i would at least talk to them yk??#but idk I hate being in morally challenging situations bc i have a very ig unreliable moral compass and insanely low empatthy . so i#always have to second guess myself and i guess i have to re-sort my priorities. cuz i care about people feelinf safe around me but it#leads to me resenting myself when i DO judge people and i really really dont wanna be overly negativr but i also dont wanna keep like#supressing everything ....#idk i just want my peace but something always comes up. and i dont understand other people and lately it just feels like the giant divide#between me and other people and esp the other teenagers has been growijg so hard#and my two best friends are the only people where i feeo like we speak the same mental language and stuff#but one of them has zero backbone and would never have my back ever cuz shes just too scared and the other one is similarly socially lost#like me#and i feel like idk any expectations/wishes i got towards other people are morally bad of me cuz it feels like i need to know better#like i judge myself for being hurt that my one friend doesnt defend me against anyone when they say bad stuff but like i know shes just#too scared. and yet
0 notes
qweenofurheart · 10 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
timmy with dami and kon !
6K notes · View notes
Note
would love to see any drawings/ur design on jeremy fizgerald (if u have any)!! /nf
Tumblr media
Been working on a design, can tell me what yall think!
2K notes · View notes
raining-its-pouring · 19 days
Text
A little tired of people saying Moon can’t stand up for herself. Like yeah I think one of the flaws she has is she is too lenient and forgiving, but also in her situation it’s VERY HARD not to be. And it’s very situational, usually manifesting with Five Pebbles.
She stops talking to you if you annoy her enough, and only starts again if you win her back over. You have to put in the work. She isn’t “rolling over” and letting things happen to her, despite the fact that she is in absolutely no position to bargain. As stated by her, her kindness and her words are the ONLY thing she has. So her taking those away from you, the player, is absolutely her standing up for herself.
Everyone brings up how she handles Five Pebbles (esp the comms thing) and it is incredible to me just how many people lay this entirely at her feet when the game states over and over again that even despite Moon’s intentional feather-light influence over him, he still resents her for being his superior. He seeks out a mentor who is her opposite.
He wants to be something more than what he is, wants to be detached from her, and she can’t do anything about that but do the best she can to exert as little influence over him as possible.
She is stuck between a rock and a hard place here, and was betting on her kindness to have fostered enough mutual respect that she wouldn’t have to resort to forced communications. She was wrong. He was driven by fierce desperation, something that she wasn’t privy to. And she paid for it.
Yes, this is a flaw of hers. But it’s not a universal one. (the rest of the iterators look to her for help- she’s the group senior for gods sake- and people act like she can’t take a stand) I genuinely doubt Moon would’ve waited so long to used forced comms if it were happening to anyone else. If it were being committed by anyone else. And that just makes the tragedy even sweeter.
542 notes · View notes
watchingwisteria · 4 months
Text
im so sorry i get it now i really do, the gay angels have me shaking screaming crying at all hours of the day and night, they mean everything to me i am literally thinking about them all the time and what it would mean to love someone steadily and silently through eternity, what it would mean to love across the lines of a divine war of supposed good and evil, what it would mean to carve out a space for oneself and ones lover in no man’s land, in the grey and moral ambiguity when you were created to be black and white without blemish. god i love them so much i just
Tumblr media
617 notes · View notes
hellenhighwater · 8 months
Text
Tumblr media
Wazzer is underweight and it's so stressful. I'm giving him extra feedings but I'm finding that he eats most when I literally heat his fancy salmon pate in the microwave and feed it to him on my fingertips, one tiny bit at a time. Tomorrow I'm going to try using an actual silver sugar spoon to feed him, because it's one of the smallest spoons I own.
I didn't have stress before I had kittens but they're just too cute.
949 notes · View notes
sad-leon · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media
TW Suicide Attempt
we all talk about him portal chopping an arm off but,,, it would be so easy. so quick
KoFi || Patreon
621 notes · View notes
Do you know how much media has been produced in the last decade? This really was the era of overstimulation where you never really could watch all the stuff there was.
So when people complain that TV will be bad now, so? Go back and watch all the stuff that's just rotting on streaming platforms it's not like it's 2007 and linear TV is your only option.
But most importantly just support the strike so that the people who make all the stuff you like can keep making it :)
3K notes · View notes
transmasccofee · 7 months
Text
Saiki as a character is so funny to me because he seriously should not be in the comedy genre, everything about him is over the top tragic and miserable, but somehow that makes him the perfect comedy protagonist.
Like. People think “oh we need a straight man” No. that’s overdone. what comedy really needs is the worlds Most Depressed Teenager and then just throw him into the silliest setting possible and see how he reacts to his surroundings.
946 notes · View notes
taxinealkaloids · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
harrianthe + sewing (variations on a theme)
3K notes · View notes
swampbestie · 8 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
guys. i know we love cunty ice king and gumlee but. are we just gonna ignore THIS
522 notes · View notes