#Like yes I have cried about it 4 times in the past week. Yes I am trying to be a team player.

[keepingthepeaceinouterspace]

.

[berberriescorner]

“Are You Listening?”

Interlude: “Drinks On Me, Yeah?”

Characters: Rio x Black!Reader.

Summary: Issa Interlude, mama. Expect the unexpected.

Warnings: Profanity, angst, fluff, and drinking-little libation for the one, two.

Word Count: 1,700+.

A/N: My lovelies! My babies! Mama’s back and I got a little sum-sum for ya! Let’s start this weekend with a little Rio and the crew, yeah? Yeah. I want to give so many thanks to all of you sweet lovelies who have been rocking with me this entire time. Most of you know that the past year and a half has been quite the struggle. To everybody who took time out of your day to come and check in on me, please know that I’m appreciative and forever grateful to have connected with such amazing people🥹♥️. Thank you for all the sweet, hilarious comments and asks as well💓. I’m a little rusty, so be gentle with your girl. Enjoy my sweet babies.  Before anyone asks, yes, I’ve been working on Pt. 4😂😏😈.

"Are You Listening?" - The Playlist

Apple Music.

Spotify.

Part One Here.

Part Two Here.

Part Three Here.

Inspired By:

Your body pressed down into the plush mattress as you reveled in the comfort and security of being home. Your mind replayed the image of your mom snatching the door open, the two of you hugging tightly, rocking side to side. You had spent the past week trying to survive final exams and warding off the many questions of, “What’s wrong, baby girl?” The woman who gave you life knew you all too well. Sensing that her youngest baby was struggling, her attempts to get you to open up over the phone went unanswered. With the semester complete, being home didn’t leave much space to dodge the knowing gaze in her eyes. 

That master’s degree will probably be a waste of time.

The moment you pulled away from the hug, she cupped your chin, and your poker face cracked as the tears cascaded down your cheeks. Two hours later, you filled her in on everything from the stress of school, financial aid, working doubles, and the fresh crack in your heart that was taking its sweet-ass time to heal. All of which had only taken about forty minutes to stutter out. The talk and her comfort had left you wiped out, and just like any amazing mother would do, she sent you to your room for a nap and got to work on preparing comfort food.

You considered dozing off for a bit more rest, but your bedroom door flew open, bouncing off the corner of your vanity. Your eyes narrowed to mere slits as you started to curse your oldest brother out. His hand raising halted the verbal reprimand.

“Alena’s big-headed ass is here to see ya mean ass,” he snarked about the woman who would eventually become his wife.

These two bitches are so in love. It’s sickening. The attraction is so annoyingly obvious. Shit makes me sick to my stomach.

Before you could tell him you didn’t want company, she was already in the doorframe. “Uh-uh, bitch you are not about to dodge me for another two weeks.” With those words said, you had no choice but to give her a rundown of what had transpired. Not only had she forced you to divulge every last detail while the two of you hugged and cried together. She also took it upon herself to wiggle you into your best freakum dress and head out for a girl’s night.

Being the baby and the only girl in your family made for very over-the-top protective parents. The moment your father saw your attire, he wouldn’t let up. He was hell-bent on forcing your brothers to chaperone.

It wasn’t a horrible idea.  Only you didn’t like your independence challenged. Luckily, the older siblings were pretty chill, so long as no one was overly aggressive. They had taught you how to handle shit for yourself at a young age. You spent the first half hour in the club pouting and ready to go home to wallow in self-misery.

“Hoe! If you don’t fix your face, scaring off every good-looking man in this club!”

“They’ll be alright, so long as they keep their distance. In case you didn’t get the memo after our long talk. Men make my ass itch,” you growled, kissing your teeth.

“Whateva, you and that stank attitude can have a good time together,” she sassed, throwing up a hand and walking away from the bar.”

“Where are you going? Alena!”

“I’ll be back, damn! Let me go on and annoy them, fine-ass brothers of yours. Be nice, and don’t bite nobody head off, sourpuss.”

“Always thirsting after my blood, just triflin’.”

With the flick of a middle finger, she sauntered over to their section. You could see the irritation rolling off them as she seated herself in the middle. The arguing started seconds later. Your eye twitched at the sight. Swinging the barstool back toward the liquor, you were about to pass the time scrolling through social media. Instead, a set of bronzed-colored, muscular digits came into view. They gently pressed your phone to the bar as the matching digits slid another lemon drop into view. Your eyes danced along those muscular fingers, trailing upward until they landed on one of the sexiest faces you’d ever witnessed. If any other man would’ve done this, he would’ve been set straight expeditiously. In this instance, ole boy was just too damn fine, and it left you on mute. The corners of his mouth lifted into a handsome smirk.

The stranger turned his barstool to get closer. One hand rested on the bar while the other cradled the back of your seat. His eyes roamed over your body, lip tucking between his teeth, matching you stare for stare. He chuckled when he noticed your quirked eyebrow.

“I don’t mean to intrude on ya evening, but I figured you could use another drink.”

“Is that so?”

“Couldn’t help but overhear your conversation with your friend. I’m tryin’ to  figure out why these men got your fine ass itching out here.”

Shit, he heard that? Floor, open up and swallow me. That’s so damn embarrassing.

As if reading your thoughts, he continued, “Nothing to be embarrassed about, mama. There’s a lot of boys running around here pretending to be men. Who was crazy enough to fumble you? He gotta be the dumbest man on earth.”

As if on cue, said fumbler’s name popped up on your caller ID. With a swipe of a finger, the phone went silent. You turned back to your new admirer. He had signaled for another round of drinks.

“Either you’re a big spender, or the bartender is your connect,” you teased.

“Connect is one way of putting it. This my spot, darlin’.”

He chuckled as you damn near choked on your drink.

“I’m sorry. Tend to put my foot in my mouth.”

“You good. I like a woman who’s not afraid to speak her mind. Dealing with me, you go to say it with your chest.”

“Oh, so you plan to be around me beyond tonight?”

“Around, underneath, on top. We locked in, mama,” he insisted, licking his lips.

“I don’t even know your name, fool,” you cackled at his cockiness.

“Name’s Rio, but you can call me Christopher, mama. My future wife needs to know my government name. I’m putting my trust in you. Don’t be tellin’ my business, sweetheart.”

“Who says I’m checking for you, Rio?”

“You accepted my company and drinks. Deep down, you’re intrigued by me. Ain’t no need to hide it. When I see something I want, gotta go after it, mama.” he rasped, voice lowering to a panty-dropping level.

“You’re trouble. I just know it.”

Rio planted both hands on your thighs. The gasp that escaped you lit his brown orbs with passion.

“Can I have your undivided attention for the night? Want to get to know you better, mama.”

Grabbing his outstretched hand, he helped you down off the stool.

“Rio…”

Piercing light flickered in the darkness, pulling you from the memory that played itself in your dreams. Your hand snatched the vibrating phone from the table. Your orbs squinted to read the screen, teeth clenching in frustration.

Fucking Rio, I can’t even get away from him in my sleep. Stupid-handsome-asshole.

With a single tap, the phone rested on DND. You closed off from the world to find a peaceful slumber, only to wake from another dream. Throwing the covers back, you startled, feeling the bed dip. His cologne wafted through the air, and your eyes connected.

“Why all the tossing and turning, amor? Hmm,” he rasped, hand trailing up your arm. His warm palm cradled the side of your neck, rubbing away some of the tension.

“Sorry, did my restlessness wake you?”

“No, querida. I’ve been up taking care of some things.”

“Same old Miguel. Everything business. Still don’t sleep much, huh?”

His eyes crinkled with a small smile, but you could also see sadness. It’s the same unhappiness that’s always lingered, only now accompanied by sparks of anger and resentment. Your mind replayed his words in the elevator.

Where’s your wife, Miguel?

She had other plans tonight.

The slightest mention of her had nearly sent his mood spiraling. You weren’t privy to what was happening in his marriage but didn’t want to pry. He would only reverse card uno your ass. Miguel would insist that you vent about your own life and frustrations.

“Thank you for taking the couch,” you nibbled at your lip. 

There was a hint of frustration and guilt lingering in your chest. Not being able to sleep without dreaming of Rio left you feeling conflicted. Part of you wanted to say to hell with loyalty. Being in such a vulnerable state had you craving to be held and cuddled, but regardless of circumstance, the two of you were very much married. Concern swam in the pools of his eyes. Miguel sensed the ongoing dilemma in your head, and his fingers gently cupped your chin.

“Hey, talk to me. What’s all this,” he asked, tugging the lip between your teeth. “Tell me what you need.”

“I can’t,” you sighed.

“You can, and you will. Look at me,” he insisted as your eyes locked.

“Anything you ask me. It won’t leave this room. You need me to hold you until sleep takes over, amor?”

Unable to verbally say it, you gave him a slight head nod. Removing his tie, watch, and shoes, he made it over to the opposite side of the bed. Miguel got right to it, not giving you time to overthink it. He pulled you into his chest, arms engulfing you in a tight hug.

“Were you having nightmares, cariño?”

“No, just happy memories reminding me of the present painful ones,” you replied, voice filling with unshed tears.

“You want to talk about it?”

Silence filled the room as Miguel continued, “We don’t have to ta-.”

His sentence cut short as he felt the tremors and your head burrowed into his side. Miguel’s heart cracked at the sound of the sobs falling from your lips. His arms pulled you further into him until there was no space left, and the palm of his hand rubbed at your head.

“Shhh, you’re okay. I’m here,” he cooed, leaving soft kisses on the crown of your head.

Miguel continued to whisper calming words. You cried until your head pounded, and sleep took over.

Hope you all enjoyed that little peek into how Rio pulled up on your girl for the first time. He saw something he liked, and he had to have you🥰. We’ll just call this a vague moment of insight into upcoming events...if that makes sense 😆. If you enjoyed please be sure to hit the love button, comment, and reblog. Spread the love, my babies.

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[iamjellyfish]

can you have one where Soshiro (😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍💕💕💕💕💕❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️) and Y/N are child hood friends and are both defense officers, Y/N is super kind, polite, and cheerful, almost always smiling and teasing and making jokes (specifically with Soshiro, they're besties) nothing could ever be wrong with her, she has a smile as bright as the sun!... Right?

Soshiro, would always just find Y/N in the forest or Y/N would sneak into his house, and train with him (even though they was weak and lacked the proper nutrients to even carry twenty pounds) they would still try, Soshiro forced her to eat all the time, sneaking food out for her, he never questioned her though, and when he did Y/N just avoided the question , joked about something and put a grin on their face. Soshiro often asked if they ok, because she's unfed most the time. He knew they went some hard things but .... not to the extent of what she's been through... I mean losing everyone you care hurts. at the ripe age of 4 she witnessed the death of her family, gaining multiple scars from the incident . She still hates herself more than that kaiju though... Why? ... Despite has still Y/N never cried or showed and signs of anger in front of anyone... until now, Soshiro finds Y/N sobbing quietly, letting all her hatred, sadness ,anger , heart break, finally let out ... Soshiro OBVIOUSLY comforts her because he's the best (boy)friend ever!

sorry for making it so long, and if the request isn't anything you like to write!

❥ A/n: Oooo, I like the lore; I had been thinking that the reader could join the defense force for a smart plan or tricks similar to Kafka (supporting others).

Oh yea I changed the timeline for events in reader's past a bit:p

❥Warning: potentially broken grammar, angst/comfort, mention of death, self-destruct behaviors from reader, ... not proofread, I write this half-awake.

You and Soshiro were best friends from childhood. It's probably because you're the type to get curious and sneak into his house one day and be amazed by Soshiro's fighting style. Soshiro, back then, was a bit discouraged because the era of swords had long gone, and reaching to be a defense force officer seemed unrealistic, yet seeing you amazed when he was training and offered to train with him and share about how much you like katana because "they're just so cool" make him happy.

You were his ball of sunshine, even if you don't realize it; your cheerful voice, your smiles, and your kind gestures here and there make him so in love with you. And the best thing is, you were always joking and teasing him, it made him feel at home as long as you were there.

"Soshi should be careful, I might charm you too much that you might forget to train and be my husband!"

You, at the age of 8, are teasing him, yet he grins back and holds out his bamboo katana. He is still training yet he always stops a little to talk with you every few minutes while you watch.

"Why can't I do both? I clearly can make time for both marrying you and training."

He stops a little to pinch your cheek. And when he sees you blush, he laughs a little yet when got older and thinks back, it's quite true, he could definitely do both, marrying you and sharpening his katana techniques!

You were a free soul; you were polite to adults, yes, but still, you're someone who doesn't follow the rules a lot. You love the forest and would spend time enjoying nature, hearing the wind or the nearby river that had many cool rocks and flowers nearby. You would always bring some cool rocks or flowers that remind you of him when you go on this little adventure in the forest. Soshiro always cherishes your gifts even though he didn't show it too much.

But when you turn 12, something is always odd about you, at least after you went missing a few weeks ago and returned like nothing had happened, you refused to talk about it, so he can't really press you about it. You look like you lack the needed nutrients, always so skinny and weak, you look like you would fly away if the wind is a bit too strong. He doesn't mind, though; he got used to sneaking food out for you, and seeing you enjoy eating what he made makes him really happy.

After years of being best friends and feeding you throughout your teenage years, you both fell in love with each other. You both confess at the same time before you both get into the defense force. You love him deeply, and no doubt he is head over heels for you.

He knows you love him yet something about you is distance. To put it into words, Hoshina feels like you are hiding something from him but he can't really tell. You always smile, of course, he loves your smiles! But he feels like there is a deeper matter to this, so he tracks to the old times and investigates a little; you won't mind that, right? It's just that you won't answer his questions and always try to change the subject, so he gets a little worry.

Hoshina always knew you went through something when you were a kid, but you never told him; just bundle it all into your little heart. So when he investigated, he found out that the day you go missing for a week was the time that your parent was brutally murdered by kaiju. He had some theory but it was best to ask you.

So when you both get the day off, Hoshina and you get home, and he prepares your favorite food while you prepare his favorite snacks and coffee. He wanted to start the conversation softly to not trigger you so he started with a little small talk.

"Y/n, did you eat properly these days?"

He said softly, looking into your e/c eyes while waiting for your answer; his hands were playing with the food a little. You just shrug and try to answer it to get over with.

"I guess."

"I know what happened that day that you go missing. You were hiding, didn't you? Your parent got murdered by kaiju, and you were hiding, and it took a few days to find you"

He reaches his hand out to comfort you while you just sit there frozen. The memories that you bury deep under the rubble of your feelings that day. You want to run away, to hide, but it's Hoshina, your dear Hoshina.

"Please don't, let's stop this topic."

You said, sadness bleeds in those words of yours; you hated it, hated yourself for the simple fact that you were helpless that day. You were mad at the kaiju, yes, but the guilt of surviving the life that was traded for your parents' lives made you sick to the stomach. You were hard on yourself, trying harder and harder to achieve higher things to avenge your parent; that way, you could say your parent traded their lives for something worthy.

Hoshina knew this; at least, he knew right now when he saw the dark cloud on your head. He rushes over to hug you while you start crying, confronting your own guilt. He gently pats your back and gives you little kisses quite he comforts you.

"It's okay alright? I know ya try your best but it's time to start letting go of the past. It's hard, but I'm here to support you. Now, you can pour your heart out to me."

"I don't want to dump it all on you..."

You mutter, you bury your head in his shoulders. You subconsciously hug him tight as he comforts you. He looks at you with scarlet eyes and smiles lightly.

"You're my everything. It's okay. Just tell me, I'm ready to carry the guilt you have in your heart."

Just like that, you cry like a kid pouring everything that keeps your chest heavy throughout the years to him quite Hoshina just comforts you with hugs and kisses, listening to everything you have to say.

A/n: I'm going to sleep.

[lihhelsing]

Hate That I Loved You

Now complete on AO3!

Part 1 ↓ | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

“That’s an awful idea” Gareth states from the other side of the room. 

“It’s not as bad as the one he had for the Leave You music video,” Jeff adds helpfully. 

“It’s one of our biggest hits,” Frank chimes in.

Eddie is just waiting for the band to reach the right conclusion.It’s such a bad idea that it actually makes it a genius one. Eddie knows it and he’s known it ever since he woke up in the middle of the night with it forming in his brain. 

They need another hit. Eddie has just the song for that, called Hate That I Loved You, about all the times he failed at love. Which were… a good amount. 

The song is good. Harsh, loud, heartbreaking. Eddie might’ve cried when he first played it acoustic on his guitar, all alone after getting dumped by his last boyfriend. 

It’s about how he’s never good enough for anyone. It’s raw. 

“Fine, let’s do it,” Gareth finally gives in and Eddie just smiles. His idea is as painful as the song. He’s going to call his exes and ask them to be in the music video. The song is not so much about them, it’s more about Eddie himself, but he likes the dramatic effect of having to face all his mistakes in one day as he sings his heart out.

He knows the tabloids will eat that shit up. He knows it’s the push the band needs to blow up and exactly the edgy, weird shit everyone expects from them He’s willing to take one for the team. He’s doing it

Pre production rolls around quickly, Chrissy is too damn good at her job, and soon it’s time for Eddie to do the hard part. He needs to call the exes and ask them. 

He has six in total, he will be happy if he gets five to participate, but will settle for four. Knows two are harder.

David, Sean and Pedro are in from the start. It’s not surprising, really, they broke up in friendly terms, still talk sometimes, and are happy to indulge Eddie’s crazy ideas. Always had been. 

His first no comes with Josh. He thought it was an easy yes but he was wrong.

Josh is happily married and not looking for any drama in his life and Eddie means drama. He can’t argue. Eddie winces as he remembers serenading Josh while high out of his mind, making noise under his dorm window like an idiot. Josh hangs up before Eddie can beg and that’s it.

That leaves him with 3 yes and 2 that he doesn’t know. Despite still being hurt by the break-up, Eddie calls Lou first. Lou is… Hard. His voice sends chills down Eddie’s spine and he almost chickens out. He’s the one that set Eddie off with this song, to begin with.

He’s the one that makes Eddie feels like he’s far from being enough. He’s the one who told Eddie he was selfish and unlovable and Eddie knows he still feels it as Lou flirts with him through the phone. 

He’d never been good to Eddie but he was what Eddie thought he deserved it.

“Of course I’ll star in your video, babe,” Lou agrees easily and Eddie wishes he’d said no. Eddie thinks there’s still time for him to back down from the idea. Knows the guys would understand. Knows they all remember having to drag Eddie out of bed after a week of wallowing.

He stands his ground. Thinks this might be what he needs to get over Lou. To get him out of his system forever. 

He also stands his ground because he knows the next number by heart. Had known it for the past 7 years and couldn’t really get rid of it.

His brain cling to Steve just like his heart had. 

He feels dizzy as the line rings and feels like he’s going to faint as Steve’s voice comes through the speaker. 

“Hello?”

“Steve, hey. It’s, um, it’s Eddie.”

The silence is so loud Eddie thinks he’s gone deaf.

“Eddie?”

“Munson. You know, from-”

“I know,” Steve’s voice gets so small Eddie wishes he had never called. “What…”

Whatever question he has dies on Steve’s throat and Eddie doesn’t blame him. 

“Sorry to call like that. I, um, I need a favor?”

“…ok?”

Eddie explains it all. He talks about the band, the song, the video idea. He talks for almost ten minutes and he just keeps going because he can hear Steve’s breathing on the line.

“So, that’s it. You can say no, no hard feelings but I… would like if you said yes”

It feels like a low blow, but Steve says yes and Eddie pushes the guilt away from his brain. He’ll get to see Steve soon. Less than a week. He can’t help the butterflies blooming on his stomach. 

He fucking missed Steve. 

•END OF PART 1•

[m1lflov3rrr]

Hi hiiiiii! Firstly, lemme just say I absolutely ADORE your fics on wattpad and im SO thrilled you're also here on tumblr now??!?!? An absolute treat, this is <3

Anyways as for requests— can I request Larissa and/or Marilyn dealing with Y/N who's got a really bad sleeping schedule thanks to having the WORST case of insomnia? (fluff most appreciated, but IF you want somth more spicy to deal it, I wouldn't say no to it hehe 💕 :3c)

Thank you sm <3

Thank you for the request and so sorry it took literally MONTHS!!! But here it is now!! And thank you for your kind words, means so much to me <3 I really hope you enjoy this, I made a few changes to it. I don’t have that much experience with insomnia, but with sleep deprivation so I wrote about that, I hope it is okay!

No Rest for the Wicked

Pairing: Larissa Weems x fem!reader

Warnings: sleep deprivation, health issues, fainting, worrying, fluff

Word count: 2.5k

Summary: Larissa tries to help you when she notices how little you’re sleeping…

You sighed deeply as you raised your gaze from your laptop and looked out the window. A heavy fog had descended on the school grounds, reaching as far as the tired eye could see. 

The fog was persistent, it was thick. 

You felt like your thoughts were similarly clouded. You smiled at the irony. 

Returning your gaze back to your work, you looked at the time, it was way past 4 am already. Larissa would wake up soon. 

For the past few weeks it had been like this. You were staying up late, only getting a few hours of sleep a night. And sometimes, like tonight, no sleep at all. 

You felt that you didn’t have enough time. The work load you had felt like the weight of the world rested on your shoulders. You had stacks of ungraded papers, lesson plans to finalize, and a curriculum to update. 

You were exhausted. 

You tried your best to hide it, you didn’t want Larissa to get worried. Because her concern would’ve broken your heart. 

Every day went like this: You ’got up’ at 6, prepared for your lessons of the day and started at 8, taught for 8 hours straight, got back to your shared quarters and spent the rest of the night with Larissa. And after she had fallen asleep, you’d finish your work and prepare for the next day. 

You didn’t have the heart to tell your wife how much workload you’d had recently and how overwhelming it was for you. You had had difficulties in the past finding time to spend together, and after months of you both trying to work it out, it was, indeed, working. 

But lately, it had become too much. With the work, of course. You knew that Larissa would get concerned and start panicking and rushing things to make it better. You didn’t want that. She had her own job to do, which definitely had a workload twice as big as yours was. You felt pathetic. Your wife does three times the work you do in a day and you’re still stressed? Yes, pathetic. 

You finished your lesson plans for the day, just to save yourself some time later. 

It was 5:13 am when you were done. You rubbed your temples to ease your already growing headache as you got up from the desk, swayed there for a bit before making your way to the bathroom. 

You winced at your reflection in the mirror. Your dark and puffy undereyes were still there, if not even more bad and noticeable. This was the first time in your 25 years of living that you had had eye bags. You knew it was bad. 

You hopped in the shower to keep yourself up and maybe gather some energy to get through the day. At first the cold water did wake you up a bit more. Then, when you turned it a little bit warmer, you realized how bad of an idea it was. The warm water relaxed all those tense muscles in your body and you closed your eyes to enjoy the feeling. 

And your eyes stayed closed for a bit too long. If you weren’t so tired, you would have laughed at yourself. The image of you half asleep, standing in your shower. What in the actual fuck, really? 

But something made you jump and push your body’s cries for help and sleep to the back of your mind. 

”Darling?” You heard Larissa’s hoarse morning voice call out to you from the door. 

”Mhm?” You hummed as you turned the water back to cold to not almost fall asleep again. 

”Nothing, just wondering how you’re up so early every morning this week, usually it’s a task itself to get you up,” She chuckled at her own words. 

You smiled to yourself and turned the faucet off, stepping out of the shower so you could see her. 

You noticed how she was checking you out, biting her lip as her eyes roamed across your body. You smirked at her as you took your towel and dried yourself, about to wrap it around your bare body. 

She quickly snapped out of her trance and stepped forward, taking the towel in her hands and unwrapping it, causing it to drop on the floor. 

”I don’t think we’ll be needing that.” She said in a low tone as she pulled you flush against her body by your waist, attacking your neck with her mouth. 

You hummed in delight and closed your eyes in satisfaction at the sudden move, wrapping your hands around her neck. 

You let out little gasps, you couldn’t even let out a simple moan because of your sleep-deprived state. 

And it felt so good, feeling your wife’s lips on your neck, still keeping your eyes shut, leaning into her, maybe leaning too much, starting to drift off, losing your balance… 

Your eyes snapped open when your heard Larissa’s sudden, loud gasp, as she had her arms tightly wrapped around your torso to keep you from falling to the hard floor. 

”Darling, what on earth just happened here?!” She asked in shock as you stood up. 

You took a moment to process what she just said, just because you couldn’t think as fast as usual. 

”What? M’sorry, just got a little.. distracted there, I think..” You responded hazily, trying to focus your eyes to look into hers. 

She ducked her head a bit, trying to get a closer look of you and inspecting your condition. ”Are you alright? You had me worried there, are you sure you want to go to work today? You can take the day off, okay?” 

Your eyes widened in panic, ”No, no, Rissa I am absolutely fine, and I will not be taking the day off. You shouldn’t be concerned, I am okay.” You said hurriedly and walked away, leaving your wife standing in the bathroom, extremely confused and concerned. 

-

”Okay, I think it’s time we all head for lunch, see you guys tomorrow!” You announced the class with a smile, packing your things and leaving for the dining hall. As you entered the hall, you seached for your wife with your eyes, as you always ate lunch together. She wasn’t there. 

You yelped loudly when you felt someone grab your shoulder from behind, causing some people nearby to look at your weirdly. You turned around, ”God, you scared me, Rissa,” You breathed out. 

She just responded with a laugh, sliding her arm to the small of your back and guiding you to walk together to get the food. 

As you sat down, you began eating in silence. You opened a can of energy drink, something that you’d been drinking a lot these days. You didn’t usually even drink those that often, but you needed something to keep you up and awake. 

Larissa sent you a scolding look, a frown tugging at her lips. ”Y/N, what’s this?” 

You widened your eyes, you didn’t want her to find out like this. Or any other way. ”Oh, that’s just an energy drink. Thought it might give me a little boost.” 

She narrowed her eyes slightly, ”A boost? Y/N, darling, this isn’t healthy. Are you not sleeping enough?” 

You smiled, but it was forced. ”Rissa, I’m fine. It’s just been a busy week.” 

She sighed, looking at you with worry-filled eyes. ”Y/N, I can see something is going on, don’t shut me out. Whatever it is, I’m here to help you. We’re a team, remember?” 

Your gaze softened, you were really lucky to have her. But you didn’t want her to know. You didn’t want her you worry about you, because when Larissa got worried, it was all she could think about. She couldn’t work, rest, do anything. She’d have to get to the bottom of it. 

You pursed your lips and took her hand in yours, ”I know, and I appreciate that. But I’ve got this, Rissa. Trust me.” 

-

It had been a few days since that, and your condition and fatigue were only growing worse. Your work load seemed to have doubled since that day. You were trying (and struggling) to stay awake with the constant consumption of caffeine. 

The fog was growing thicker and thicker. You barely could see where you were walking. 

Larissa had had enough. She had been watching your extremely concerning situation unfold in the past few days into something much more worrying. She couldn’t bear seeing you suffer like this for a moment longer. This had to end now. 

You were sitting in your classroom, head buried in your hands as you tried to take a deep breath so that the pounding headache you had recently gotten would go away. You’d taken more aspirin than you probably should have, but it didn’t do anything. You were feeling miserable, physically, and that way, emotionally, too. 

Your eyes began to feel heavier and heavier, and you almost didn’t hear the sharp knock on your classroom door. You flinched harshly at that, squeaking a quiet, ”It’s open.” 

You heard the door opening and the familiar clacking of heels filled the room. 

”Darling?” 

Her voice was soft, almost a little wary. 

You raised your gaze to meet hers, ”Yes?” 

Her eyes were filled with concern, barely hidden. ”I’m worried about you. I can see that something’s going on, and if you’d just please, please let me in, I could help you. Okay?” 

You pursed your lips. You knew this was coming. ”Larissa there is absolutely no reason for you to worry. I am fine, okay?” Your voice was a mixture of frustration and exhaustion. 

”No, you’re not.” She snarled, her tone of voice contrasting the one she had just moments prior. ”You’ve been running on fumes for days! Darling, this… this can’t go on any longer.” Her voice broke as her eyes held a silent plea. 

Your jaw clenched, eyes fixed on the floor. ”I can handle it.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, and it was becoming harder and harder to keep convincing yourself that. 

”Y/N you almost collapsed earlier! This can’t go on.” She stepped closer, reaching her hand out to touch your shoulder. 

You shrugged off her touch, ”It was nothing. Just a moment of dizziness.” 

Larissa scoffed, her patience was wearing thin. ”And what happens when it’s not just a moment? What happens when you can’t get back up?” 

Something in that comment did it. Your eyes flashed with fury as your tone of voice turned into one laced with venom.  ”You just don’t get it, Larissa! I can fucking handle myself!” 

Her brows furrowed and you could’ve sworn you almost saw her flinch a little. ”Look, I am not trying to belittle you. I just want and need you to take care of yourself.” 

Your head tilted as your eyes held nothing but defiance in them. You felt your breathing pick up, uncontrollably, and how that pounding headache seemed to double, you started feeling a little lightheaded. But you chose to do what you’d been doing for god knows how long now. You ignored it. 

”I don’t, I don’t need you constantly watching over me.” You said, out of breath. 

Your wife’s expression dropped as she realized your condition and what could be happening next. She approached you cautiously, attempting to try and calm you down. ”Y/N, darling, this is not about control. It’s about caring for you.” She told calmly, cupping your face with her soft palm. 

You shook your head, ”You suffocate me, Larissa! I can’t breathe with you hovering over me all the time!” 

Larissa’s heart sank at that. She never meant for it to come to this. She only wanted the best for you, to protect you. 

”Y/N, please, I…” 

Your breathing laboured and before she could finish, your legs gave way and you collapsed on the cold, hard floor. 

”Y/N!” Larissa’s voice came out as a terrified cry as she rushed forward to try and catch you, but she was too late. 

Tears welled up in her eyes as she knelt beside you, shaking you gently and trying to wake you up. ”Y/N, can you hear me?! Please, say something..” 

Your eyes fluttered open, but you couldn’t focus on anything. Your breathing was still laboured and the words you tried to speak came out as a strained whisper. 

”Y/N, I’m taking you to the infirmary.” She breathed out as she scooped you up in her arms and rushed out the classroom. 

-

Since then, you and Larissa made an agreement. Well, you didn’t have much say in it, since Larissa demanded it. 

Larissa began monitoring your schedule, making sure you were following the new schedule she had made for you. And there was no room for negotiaton, absolutely no exceptions. 

Larissa also began cooking more, preparing the meals with care and love, making sure each one was balanced with important nutrients to get your energy levels for the better. 

Bedtime was the most strictly monitored. As evening approached, Larissa would guide you through a calming routine. She’d prepare a warm bath with your favourite scents, she’d slip in as well and wash your hair for you, massaging your head to calm you down. Then, she’d dress you into comfortable pyjamas and lead you to bed, prepare you a nice cup of tea and dim the lights. 

And she’d lull you to sleep with soothing caresses and words of affirmation, telling you how much she loved you, again and again, kissing your whole body as she did so. 

And it worked perfectly. You were feeling both, physically and mentally better. The dark circles under your eyes were slowly fading away, your energy starting to gain back. You also growed to appreciate your wife a thousand times more.

One evening, you were sitting in your shared bedroom, by your desk. Your laptop was open and you were determined to finish grading some papers for your students. Then, Larissa entered the room, the stern look on her face telling everything. ”Darling, it’s time for dinner.” 

You sighed, closing the laptop as you didn’t want to argue about it. And you were starving too. 

You ate in silence with her, you occasionally stealing glances at her. The way she fussed about your portion sizes, making sure you got the right nutrients for your health - you heart warmed as it was all an expression of love. 

Once you were finished, she led you to bed, undressing you and helping you with your pyjamas. I could’ve done that myself, you thought. 

”Now, off to bed. You need your rest, dearest.” 

You smiled as she laid down next to you, caressing your hair and kissing you softly. And you kissed her back, again and again.  Soon, you fell into a peaceful slumber, under Larissa’s loving gaze. She laid a final kiss on your forehead, ”I love you, my darling.” She whispered before drifting off as well. 

And if you looked outside, you’d have noticed that the fog had finally cleared. 

[hannyoontify]

[21:49] you stepped into your apartment foyer with a quiet groan, the fatigue from the long day slowly catching up with your body now that the adrenaline had worn off.

after mindlessly toeing off your shoes, you clambered into the living room, not bothering to turn on the lights, and threw yourself onto the couch. you felt your cheek press against the cool leather of the piece of furniture and you let out a tired sigh. you were still wearing your school bag and work apron, the coins from today's tip pressing into your upper thigh but you didn't care. you just wanted rest. you needed to rest.

your eyes began to close out of their own volition. you no longer had control over your body as it went into battery saving mode. cut the crap, [name], it's been on battery saving mode for the past 3 weeks and you're exhausted beyond words.

you're about 1/4 away from falling completely asleep but you heard your toilet flush, signifying that someone else was in your home. you mentally racked your tired brain, trying to remember if your brother was visiting this week or next week. even if he did visit, he didn't the code to your apartment.

you feel your body freeze up when the restroom door opened and you listened to someone shuffle up to the couch next to you.

'[name]? love? are you asleep?'

your body immediately relaxed at the voice and you grunted in response.

'i know you're tired angel but you need to wash up' jeonghan said. he sat down on the couch next to where your head was, softly stroking your hair as he tried to convince you to get up. 'i'll give you all the kissies you want'

this made your ears perk up.

'really?'

your boyfriend chuckled at your excited, muffled voice. 'yes, really. now please get up, i don't want coffee powder on your couch'

after (slowly) sitting up, you stared at your boyfriend, who looked as pretty and perfect as ever. he had evidently just taken a shower, judging by his wet curly hair. this made you smile for some reason.

jeonghan laughed. 'what? do i have something on my face? why are you smiling?'

you smiled and leaned over to press a quick kiss on his lips. 'nothing, you're just really pretty'

'okay, now go shower. i'll put your stuff away for you' jeonghan rolled his eyes jokingly and pulled you up to your feet. 'do you have any homework?'

the question made you let out a mix of an exasperated sigh and a groan as you dropped to the floor like a ragdoll. you stared down at your hands, which were dry and cracked from the amount of times you wash your hands at work. jeonghan's voice sounded distance as he reached for you, asking you what was wrong and why you were crying.

oh, you were crying. you didn't even realize that a few tears had managed to escape until your boyfriend had reached over to wipe them away. you continued to stare down at your hands, your impending tears making your sight blurry.

'oh, baby' jeonghan pulled you in for a tight hug, ignoring the coffee bean powder he had just complained about 2 minutes ago. he wrapped a protective arm around your shoulder and pulled you closer to his body, your cries muffled by the fabric of his crewneck sweatshirt. your entire face was pressed into jeonghan's shoulder area as he moved one hand up and down your back, making soft soothing noises.

jeonghan didn't say anything, he just let you cry into his shoulder for as long as you needed. and you decided to let it all out. all the stress from academics, your work, your shitty manager, your upcoming concerto and your solo piece. it was all becoming too much for you.

your backpack strap fell off your shoulder, making a loud thud on the floor to announce its fall and that helped you snap back into reality. you hiccuped as you pulled away from jeonghan inwardly cringing at the tear stains left on his left shoulder. you frantically wiped away your tears and sniffled.

'sorry, i don't- i don't know where that came from' you smiled awkwardly as you picked yourself up. jeonghan followed you up with a worried look on his face.

'is something wrong?' he asked quietly. almost as if he was afraid of scaring you away or breaking you. his hold on your arm was firm but gentle. not strong enough to break you, but definitely firm enough to catch you if you fell again.

you sighed tiredly and rubbed at your sleepy eyes. 'no, nothing in particular. i'm just tired and i have so much to do but 24 hours isn't enough in a day and-'

jeonghan cut your rant off by pulling you in for a tight hug. his long arms were wrapped around your shoulders and he squeezed you so tightly you thought you were going to run out of oxygen. but you liked it. you could feel jeonghan's love, worry, concern, affection, and caring nature through that action alone and you suddenly felt immensely grateful for his presence.

'it's always okay to take breaks, angel. you don't need to try your best every day of the year, okay? you can have bad days and days where you do nothing but lie in bed all day. i can only imagine what you're going through right now and how tired you must be. i'm always here, okay? i'm here if you need anything and i'm especially here if you need to talk to someone. i'm your boyfriend, okay? i'm here to be your emotional support and your pillar. lean on me whenever you need to, okay?'

you sniffled and nodded. 'okay'

jeonghan pulled away from the hug and pressed a quick kiss to your forehead. this made you smile. 'i told you i would give you all the kissies you wanted, right? okay now go wash up and join me for bed'

'but what about-'

'no. if your professors give you shit for not completing assignments on time, i'll give them shit for making a full-time working college student also work as an unpaid TA. and i'll hold that over their heads for as long as i need' jeonghan leaned in, this time pressing his lips against yours. they were warm and this immediately made your heart warm up as well. what did you do to deserve him?

when you came back from your shower, jeonghan was already in bed in a new crewneck sweatshirt. his hair was all dried, tumbling over his forehead and slightly into his eyes. he was scrolling on his phone, his eyes flickering over images and texts on his screen. you silently climbed into bed after turning off all the lights, and jeonghan took that as his cue to put his phone away and open up the blankets for you.

you cuddled up to your boyfriend, feeling much more at ease under the safety of your weighted blanket and the warm embrace of the love of your life. your anchor. your lighthouse.

you nuzzled your face into the crook of jeonghan's neck and breathed in the scent of his fabric softener mixed with the scent of your shampoo. it was the same product that you just used but it somehow smelled different. it smelled better. it smelled like home.

you pressed your lips against his neck, right over where his pulse is. 'thank you'

jeonghan hummed, already falling asleep. 'for what, angel?'

'for everything. i don't know what i would do without you' you looked up at him.

'for you, my angel, anything' jeonghan leaned down and pressed his lips against yours one final time before the two of you fell into deep slumber in the comfort of each other's arms.

that night, you finally realized what people meant when they said that a person was their home. they were the person you always ended up with at the end of the day. the person you go to with all your troubles. the person who listens to your struggles and comforts. someone who welcomes you with open arms no matter your situation. someone like jeonghan. jeonghan was your home.

a/n: blep

[marchsfreakshow]

Lost In A Maze [Kit Walker]

Angst / lil fluff bcs I can't stop myself.

A few weeks passed since Kit's last visit to the nurse. he was almost desperate to see them again.

Anon consider your request a part 2 to 'Wounds And All' :) I love this idea.

No one's perspective

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

Weeks passed.

Weeks without a visit to his beloved nurse. He learnt to control himself and his stupid temper.

But still, he wanted them. He wanted to say hello, and just see that small smile again.

Kit supposed that constantly hurting himself to see their working hands wasn't a good thing. It couldn't've been a good thing. His heart was always promised to another.

Damn that to heck!

Kit wanted the nurse. To see the small smile that appears when he agrees with their words. To see the way they work so efficiently and quickly. An angel at their craft. But, now he had a good streak. A sweet streak of being a good boy in the asylum. Maybe if he...no! Doing anything to see that nurse would mean losing that streak.

Would he really risk breaking into the nurse's office just to see them in the night?

Yes.

He would.

Kit's plan was stupid. Wildly stupid, and would get him in solitary for months on end. So foolish and silly that the nurse might just hate him for the rest of his time here at Briarcliff. "Kit?" A sleepy voice asked at the sound of a shutting door. They speak! Speak again, bright angel... "Kit it's really late. W-what are you doing here..?"

"I needa to see you, nurse. Real bad." I'm wounded in love and need to taste your lips on mine. No. Too lovesick.

"y-you could have asked one of the guards to bring you in here or have me visit you.."

"no." He shook his head and sat himself on his already weak, frail knees on the floor of the bed. "I-I'm lost without ya nurse. I can't lie to myself anymore."

A tilt of their head. Confusion as an explanation was trying to be racked in their brain. Why would he be lost? Because of the treatment? Because of Dr.Threadson? "You're lost?" Was their response. Quiet, confused, sleepy. They couldn't think properly, it felt like 4 in the morning. All Kit could muster was a nod, his weepy eyes eventually meeting the nurse's eyes. Even through darkness, they could sense his silent cries and his desire for affection.

Their hands pulled Kit's face closer. Their hands wandered his cheeks and pulled him up onto their bed. Despite the coldness of the asylum, the both of them were warm, pressing themselves close as Kit's face pressed into their shoulder. Eventual kisses desperately wander around their shoulder and neck, trailing up to their sweet lips. Slowly reciprocating his physical pleas for touches and kisses. A sudden need, and wandering hands.

Quiet, panting and aching. For what felt like forever. His rough-worked hands attempting to slip past their sleeping gown. Their hands also worked and slightly calloused, slipped down his back, about to tug it up. "Nurse.." Ah.

Sister Mary Eunice. The both of them knew what was about to happen. Kit was promptly pulled into the guards' protection, thrashing like he did when he arrived. Staying there as Sister Eunice pulled the nurse up, and slapped them over and over. Harsh hands were thrown around their face. This punishment wasn't enough. Not enough for the Devil. Being thrown onto their knees in front of the already weeping inmate, and pulled up to look at him by their hair. "Your precious, tasty nurse here, will in fact be fired. And you, Mr.Walker, solitary. 2 months. That sounds fair, doesn't it?"

No. No, it didn't. The both of them couldn't help themselves. Kit's new reputation was now thrown out. And the nurse was on the streets. His precious nurse. His darling nurse was the only one who treated him nicely. Treated him like the human they knew he was. The few words spoken between them were the kind words he needed to survive.

Thrown away because the devil knew.

All were thrown away because the devil couldn't help but give in to some temptation.

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

Tag: @babygorewhore @taintandviolent @briaroftheroses / @nahoyasboyfriend @oceanblvd111 @slutforgarlogan / @carniv0reev @yandereunsolved @evanpeterspeter

[hidden-for-reg]

july 4: wings | @jegulus-microfic | word count: 728

*surgeon x patient au*

previous part, part one

Regulus stirred slightly in his sleep. Yesterday had been an emotionally taxing day. What with him discovering he fancied his own doctor and then said doctor flirting right back at him. So, of course Regulus was a bit tired. After James had finished giving Regulus a rundown of everything to expect from getting surgery, he stuck around for another hour, claiming that if anyone needed him, they could just page him. After spending more time with James, Regulus realized that underneath James' outer layer of charisma, was a dumb, funny, sweet, and overall annoying man. Regulus couldn’t help but be intrigued.

Regulus stirred again in his sleep. His eyes slowly fluttered open and he yelped when he saw a face staring down at him.

“Barty!” Regulus cried, jumping back as his friend grinned in his face. “I thought I told you to stop waking me up like that!”

“Hello, past lover,” Barty crooned, clutching Regulus’ face tightly and smacking a dramatic smooch on his forehead.

Regulus groaned, a small smile on his lips. He glanced to the side and made eye contact with Evan. “Mate, how many times have I told you to put a leash on him?” he asked as Evan peeled Barty off Regulus and deposited him in a chair on the side.

Barty smirked evilly up at Evan. “He has.” He bit his lip, eyes dark.

Evan snorted, smirking back down at Barty.

“Christ, Barty, you’re in public,” Pandora chimed in from where she was standing on the opposite side of Regulus’ bed. “Hey, Reg,” she purred, giving him a quick hug.

“How has my favorite past lover been feeling?” Barty sat his head on his fist. 

Regulus rolled his eyes.

Barty shot up from his chair at the sound of his friend’s silence. “You’re not all of a sudden dying now, are you?”

Regulus raised an eyebrow at his best friend.

“Oh, Reggie, tell me you haven’t sprouted angel wings and plan on flying to heaven!” Barty wailed, jumping into Regulus’ lap.

“Barty.” 

The other man looked up from where he had been hugging Regulus’ waist and smiled at him mischievously. Regulus couldn’t help but grin back and respond with a deadpanned, “Oh, yes, actually, I’ve already died and I am a ghost.”

“Reg, but seriously, how are you?” Pandora asked quietly.

“The painkillers they gave me have got the pain down to almost nothing,” he shrugged. He didn’t feel anything, just a twinge every now and then. The power of the medicine honestly impressed him more than anything. He squeezed Pandora’s hand reassuringly to let her know he really was okay.

Barty snapped his fingers in his face to get his attention. “Dollface, you think you might be able to slide me some of whatever they’ve got you on?” Barty quirked an eyebrow up then scowled when Evan hit him on the shoulder.

“No,” Evan reprimanded. “You’ve just gone clean 2 weeks ago.” His eyebrows were furrowed together. “Please, love, you’re doing so good this time,” Evan pleaded, face gone softer.

Barty’s face also softened. “I know,” he murmured, “was just trying to poke a little fun at our boy all hopped up on the hospital’s meds.” Barty pouted innocently at his boyfriend. “I didn’t mean it, Ev.”

Evan nodded stiffly, gripped Barty’s shoulder affectionately, then turned to dig in the bag he had thrown over his own shoulder. “Regulus, I’ve brought you that book we were texting about yesterday,” he said handing him a book with a smooth black cover.

Barty, still sitting in Regulus’ lap, snatched the book first and flipped to the cover page inside. “Ooh, If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio,” he read aloud. He gingerly set the book on Regulus’ nightstand. He moved his hands to Regulus’ cheeks and patted them while saying, “I admire you, babycakes, I wouldn’t have the patience to put up with a single—“

He got cut off by James Potter entering the room. All heads turned in sync to look at James questioningly. Meanwhile, James blushed a deep shade of red, some form alarm and chagrin flashing in his eyes. Regulus couldn’t possibly figure out what reason James would have to be chagrined in this moment though.

“Woah, who’s the Adonis that just walked through the door?” Barty exclaimed from where he was still in Regulus’ lap and clutching at Regulus’ face.

next part

[urfriendlylocalidiot]

GUESS WHO’S BACK ‼️

In honor of ITZY’s comeback

Reader x ITZY

Returning Home w/ ITZY

Coming home to your love is always the best part

Yeji

She would be so nervous about you coming home after 4 long weeks. What if you didn’t feel the same anymore? What if? Would probably stress-clean the apartment before you arrive. And it would be spotless to say the least. Everything just had to be just right for when you came home.

And just right it was, when you did arrive home, she ran into your arms, just for you to change it to a long-awaited makeout session. Even showing her the flowers you had picked up for her along the way. They were her favorite, proving that you hadn’t fallen in love with her after all. And although you were tired, you were full of adrenaline with being around her again.

Instead of unpacking, you guys decide to just have a long romantic date night. You both get changed and get ready to head out for a night out. Something she really needed, with all the stress of her comeback. You guys decide to get dinner together at your favorite restaurant and catch up on everything that has happened in the past 4 weeks. You end up staying until closing and having to carry Yeji back into your apartment, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Lia

You guys definitely missed each other. Like so much. Like handwritten letters every other day since you left. And so when the day finally came that you were coming home, you were honestly both elated! Yes, you had some good times with your new friends, but nothing could truly compare to being with Lia.

When you do get home, she pulls you into a hug and gives you a signed copy of her comeback cd! Needless to say, you guys have a lot to catch up on. Even though you guys wrote each other everyday, there was still so much else to talk about.

You guys end up staying in bed all day, which was honestly just what you needed after a long day of traveling. She told you more about her comeback and you were finally able to see the music videos she had wrote about recording. Obviously you told her some memories you made while away, but they paled in comparison to a whole comeback.

Ryujin

The moment you step foot into your apartment — bags and all, she jumps you.

“I missed you” she murmurs into your neck.

“I can see that” you say, chuckling.

And don’t expect this to change for literal hours. You manage to set down your bags despite having a literal Koala attached to you. It was clear that today was not going to be the day you unpack your bags. Which was honestly fine with you. For the most part of the day you guys just stay cuddled up on the couch, nodding in and out of sleep.

You guys even manage to cook a dinner for you two, it was a simple chicken and rice, but it was still the first meal you guys had together for 4 weeks. It was honestly perfect for you two.

Chaeryoung

Definitely nervous and worried about you coming home. But the excitement easily overpowers that. You’re finally coming home!! After 4 long, stressful weeks without you, you’d finally be home again. And god, you had a lot to catch up on — daily phone calls still weren’t enough to fully express everything.

So when you do arrive home, she jumps into your arms. And she relishes the feeling of finally being with you again. Like she even cries a little out of happiness of you coming home. And she cries even more when she sees the flowers you bought her. She’s just so happy and full of love now that you’re back.

You guys obviously spend the rest of the day together. She even cooks your favorite dinner since you’re actually home now to enjoy it. My god, she’s missed you and neither of you guys can stop smiling from the joy of being together again.

Yuna

AHHHH!! To say she was excited was an understatement, she was literally counting down the days until your arrival back home!! 4 weeks was far too long to spend apart. She would literally wind up at the airport like 3 hours before your arrival time. She was just that excited to see you again!

In order to kill the 3 hours though, she buys you flowers and even makes a poster for you. God knows how she found a poster making shop in the airport, but anything for you. She’s just so happy that you’re finally coming home. She was so restless without you. But thank god, you’re coming home today, so all is going to go back to normal.

When you do land and come out of the gate, Yuna literally runs into your arms. And obviously you pick her up and give her a little spin. When you eventually put her down, you see her holding the poster and flowers and pull her into another hug. Only to pull away to pull out some flowers of your own for her. Needless to say you both missed each other a lot.

[graciegoeskrazy]

about you

george daniel + stepdaughter!reader + charli xcx

warnings: mentions of absent father, weddings lmao, bit of crying, love

a/n: the one you’ve been waiting for. read part 1 if you haven’t already :)

PART 1 (I POSTED THIS IN DEC?! IM SRY)

You Mum and George have been in a whirl of romance these past few weeks. Constantly giggling, smiling, and kissing each other. They were all in. Especially with their new free time with both their tours being over, they both had all the time in the world to live in the newly-fianced bliss and do whatever the hell they wanted. You always made jokes about them since they started dating. Even in the very early days when your hesitancy towards George was still at its peak, you said how you knew they were gonna get married one day. You felt it. And now you’re here. They wanted to get married ASAP. A part of them wanted to go to some courthouse that day and just do it then and there while another part of them wanted an actual wedding with all the bells and whistles. They opted for a nice medium. It went without saying that they wanted you to have a part in the ceremony. You knew that, but you weren't sure what they had in mind. So when you heard the footsteps, whispers, and giggles coming from the pair as they walked up the stairs and to the door of your room, you knew they were up to something, but weren't entirely sure.

You knew they were right outside, but waited till they knocked. Secretly laughing at the hushed whispers and laughs they were letting out. Finally, they both knocked.

“Yes?” You asked.

“It’s Mum and George.” She said. “Can we come in?”

“I’ll allow it.” You said. You knew George rolled his eyes at the phrase.

Once inside your room they slowly made their way to the foot of your bed together, hand in hand, never taking their eyes off of you. They looked like two little kids getting ready to ask their parents for a sleepover. They were filled with anticipation, trying to hide it with smiles. They sat down together and stayed there for a minute. Just smiling at you like two goofy little kids.

You looked at them with confusion. “Can I…help you both?”

“We have some news…”

You sat up. “Are you dying?”

“No.”

Oh shit.

“Are you pregnant?!”

“God, no!” They both said in unison.

You smiled and gave in. “What is it?”

Your mom took a deep breath and George pulled out a small box with a necklace inside that you didn't even realize he was hiding behind him. Your initial was sandwiched between a G and C on the chain. “Maid of honor?” She asked, timidly.

You laid back on your pillows.“I would’ve gotten offended if you didn’t ask.”

They both smiled.

…

You weren't entirely sure how they were gonna plan a wedding by themselves in just 4 months, but to your surprise they did!

All eyes were on you when you walked down the aisle. With you being Maid of Honor and Matty being George’s best man, you both walked down arm in arm together. All eyes were on you both as you walked down. Your mom wanted you to pick out a dress you liked. It was perfect. Very pretty, very mature. You looked like a very prim and proper young woman. So much so that George cried and couldn't take his eyes off you the entire walk down.

You started to walk back up the aisle, turning back towards the group with hesitancy. “Go on,” George whispered. You smiled and went to get your mother.

It was a simple gesture that spoke a million words - giving your mother away at her wedding. Charli brought the idea up and you immediately said yes. Once at the beginning of your trek, you opened the large doors to reveal your mother. She was a vision in white. You gave her your arm she took it. You could tell she full full of emotion, and so was George, but you tried to remain cool and collected the entire day. Even though a very large part of you wanted to jump up and down and tell them to say I do already. You shot her a look and whispered, “You alright?” She took a deep breath and set her sights on the man you were leading her to. “More than alright.” You both smiled at each other.

“Let’s go get your mamma hitched.”

You two walked arm in arm, meeting George at the end of the walk. Once your mom was in position, George went to hug you but you jokingly gave him the ‘I got my eyes on you’ fingers which made him and everyone around you laugh. You gave in though, giving him a huge hug.

You stood right next to your Mom, but George was right in your line of sight. You could only look at him the whole time. This is finally happening. He was going to be your family - your father - and it was about fucking time. The three of you had always been a family. Each one functions differently but they are all special, but you liked to think yours was extra special. The truth was that for a while you couldn't stop thinking about your dad. Your real dad, that is. It had always been a lingering voice in the back of your head, but the more the wedding got closer and closer, the more that voice got louder. He left when you were pretty young. Old enough to remember but young enough to not understand why exactly he left and did the things he did. Even now most of it was still a blur. You don't know much about him except that he is out there, somewhere, relatively close. And it makes your blood boil that he could reach out and contact you but he hasn't, and it's been nearly a decade. Your mom doesn't live an exactly private life, but that’s not what bothers you. It’s the fact that your biological father has a decent seat in your life from the online world and could know what you’re up to, but he doesn't care. Never called, texted, or emailed, not even a letter. But now, at this moment, that same voice that became so loud for such a long time became completely quiet. Not making a peep. And it was because of George.

…

“Now for the vows.”

Your mom read you at least 20 different drafts of her vows. You practically knew it word for word because she tested it out so many times. George however was a different story. You had no clue what he was going to prepare.

Your mom finished up her vows. “I love our family. It’s different, but it’s ours. I love our home and the fact that it doesn't feel the same unless you're there. I love the way you treat my daughter and the fact that you show her how a father should be. I love how you constantly continue to read my mind and make me feel whole. No one knows me as well as you Mr. Daniel.”

Once she ended her vows it was George’s turn. You had no idea what he had planned. A part of you was expecting something classic, while the other part of you expected a big joke or a Shakespeare sonnet or a dance break or something else fucking ridiculous. Whatever it was though, you knew your mom would love it.

We went to a classic list of “I love you”’s, something that would make your mom swoon 100 times over. “I love you. I love everything about you. Your smile, your laugh, I love your daughter as if she were my own.” Damn. “I love the way you talk, act, speak, sing, cook, dream, live. I love you.”

And she was in tears.

…

The reception wasn’t your typical rendezvous. If anything it felt like a nightclub or some kind of afterparty. No speeches, no ceremony, no cheesiness, just music, dancing, and an open bar. You sat at a table with some of the friends you had joined you. It seemed as if your mom never stopped dancing since she walked into the room. Meanwhile, George and all of his and your mom’s friends take turns being the DJ. Eventually, during Matty’s turn, he announced a slow song, and you noticed George whisper something into your mum's ear. Your eyebrows twitched in confusion, but before you could register what was happening your mom nodded and George walked over to you. He smiled and reached out his hand.

“May I have this dance?”

All your friends swooned and you wanted to laugh and throw up.

You took his hand and headed to the floor. Everyone continued what they were doing but a small group that consisted of your mom and your parent’s closest friends gathered around a table and watched as the pair of you. Matty and your Mum made faces but you just flipped them off and laughed as you took George’s hand on the floor.

The music played and he guided you through it all. Eventually, he noticed you zoning out, too lost in your thoughts. He’s noticed it a lot lately but never had the chance to talk to you about it. Maybe now wasn’t the best time but he wanted to make sure you were okay.

“You doing alright?”

You shot up, immediately back to your chipper self. (or at least the front you’ve been using for a while.)

“Mhm! Fine.” You smiled at him - one that he could see right through.

He moved one hand from your back to your face, his own becoming evident with concern. “What’s going on?”

You bit your lip and shook your head. “I can’t cry. People are watching.” You said, voice breaking, and buried your face in his chest.

“Oh, darling,” George said. For a second he thought something was seriously wrong, but he knew you (almost as well as your mom) and knew there was something different going on. He kissed your head and whispered to you. “What’s going on?”

You looked up, teary-eyed. “They’re happy tears. I promise.” You both chuckled.

“Tell me what you’re thinking.” He said,

You couldn’t look at him, but you also didn’t want to look at the small group surrounding your mother either so your options were very limited. After a moment you looked at him. Facing him and telling him the words he’d been wanting to hear for what felt like ages. “I just wish you were my dad.” To you, you didn’t want to scare him. You didn’t want to push him away for fear that he may never come back, so you kept all these feelings inside, not realizing he’s been wanting to hear those words for a very very long time.

He didn’t say anything at first, just smiled. Your face fell back into his chest and prayed to whatever the hell was up there that you didn’t ruin everything. “But I am your dad.”

You tilted your head while it was still on your dad's chest and saw your mom. She winked at you. You turned back and sighed. You finally had your family.

[fandxmslxt69]

What have you been reading!? Tell me! ❤️📖

HI I LOVE YOU !!!

okay so i have been on a ROLL with my reading this past weekend so im very happy !!

FIRST: The Naturals, by Jennifer Lynn Barnes. SO SO SO good it was a 5/5 star read, like i was actually unwell. its like..a YA mystery??? science and FBI and disturbing murders. actually frightening but it was SO SO GOODD!!! basically these kids have these freaky abilities that land them on the FBI's radars, which leads to these teens getting recruited by the FBI to be trained and to use their powers to help them crack cold cases!!!!! These powers are like...abilities that the FBI are trained to use, except the teens just HAVE them and its freaky. CUTE ROMANCE, AMAZING CHARACTERS & DYNAMICS, IT WAS DELICIOUS the mystery was so so yum i screamed. 10/10 JLB never disappoints. i got grey hairs from the stress and could not sleep after but so so worth it

SECOND: I finished Love Unwritten by lauren Asher. HVGNFHGN FGBHNFNGHNFGHNGBHNGHNGHH its a single dad romance <33333333 because smth about single dads heals me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! another banger by asher, though i think i gave it like a 4.5/5 bc i could not handle the stress and the second hand embarrassment was so bad i dropped the book for a week. HE"S A GRUMPY SINGLE DAD DEALING WITH PAST ISSUES SHE"S RUNNING AWAY FROM THE HORRORS OF HER OLD LIFE AND ENDS UP BEING A LIVE-IN NANNY AND TAKING CARE OF THIS GUY'S KID !!!!!!!!!!!!! ooooh and bc nooooothing EVER goes wrong with that right !!!!!!! WRONG. THEY FALL IN LOVE. lots of hot sex, 10/10 experience i recommend wholeheartedly.

THIRD: I reread a few Lynn Painter books (primarily betting on you, and better than the movies) She writes THE BEST rom coms EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. like when i say. her work heals me i mean it has HEALED ME. its gotten me through stuff. so so so so SO good. better than the movies is like the teen high school cliche romance which i never read bc they're always so ick ick ick but so. so good. third re-read. i loveher. i'd kill for her. the men she writes are too good.

FOURTH: I'm CURRENTLY reading Play Along by Liz Tomforde. It's the 4th book in her sports romance series and its SO FUCKING GOOD!!!! I did reread the first 3 books (Mile High, Right Move, Caught Up) GHEY ARE SO SO SO GOOD if i have not made it clear im actually a sports romance slut. the one im reading rihgt now is a BASEBALL ROMANCE???? never in my life but i am. i've always, shamelessly, been a hockey girl bc thats what the market mostly is but this series has opened my horizons. hockey, BASKETBALL(SO SO YUMMY) and now 2 baseball novels, and the upcoming 5th one is taking me BACK to hockey. UGHEFUGH THIS CURRENT ONE IS SO SOS GOOD THO!!!!!!! its like....they drunkenly get married in Vegas, he's been in love with her for AGES, its cute its fluffy its kept me up until 3am two nights in a row now (the splintering headaches are crazy...) and i've cried 4 times bc Tomforde's books always hit a little too close with the characters and i forget that sometimes. 10/10 im ready to cry some more when i finish it.

ummm yes that is it. i feel alive all over again. have i been giggling abt the scenarios of these books thinking abt where i'd put that in a fic absolutely!! that is why i read romance. im living my best life and its going great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

have you been reading anything LGG!!!!!! i know you were delving into the Cruel Prince last i checked!!! How's it going ?!?!

[scoops-aboy86]

Not Dating, part 2

part 1, part 3, parts 4 & 5, part 6, part 7, part 8 - also on ao3

This is 1949 words and it was excruciating to write because, like. That internal struggle of how to bring up an out-of-the-ordinary kink with a partner is, uh, yeah. Hm. So, here it is.

cw: panic attack, robin worrying about internalized homophobia, steve worrying about internalized fatphobia

Robin flings her front door open to stop the frantic pounding on it. “Jesus Christ, what—Shit, what’s wrong?”

Steve pushes past her on the right and into the house, swiping his left shoulder against his cheek to buy another few seconds of pretending he even kind of has his shit together. He’d been practically shrieking through the door though, and he’s still breathing hard. “Your, ah. Your parents are still visiting your aunt, right?”

“Yeah—Why? Steve, what’s happening!?”

She’s practically running to keep up with him as he charges up the stairs to her room. It’s not until he’s reached it that he turns around, both hands scrubbing over his damp, reddened face and up into his hair. “It’s not a code red, I just… Fuck, I fucked up, Robs!” 

Robin finally catches up and grips his shoulders, peering hard into his puffy eyes. “Dingus, breathe. You look like you’re having a panic attack.”

“Of course I’m having a panic attack, I fucked! Up!”

She’s never seen him like this before, not even after nightmares about being trapped back under Starcourt listening to Dustin get tortured. 

Steve almost never cries—it’s like his parents had berated it out of him at a young age, which personally she thinks is short-sighted and dumb and one of the many, many things wrong with the patriarchy. But he’s crying now, tears running down his cheeks as he blinks furiously and paces and kicks at the carpet every few steps. He winds his hands into his hair and tugs on it so hard she’s almost worried it’ll come out. And his lips keep moving like he’s trying to work something out, or berating himself, or both on top of heavy, too-fast breaths. 

“Steve, can you talk to me? You’re kind of freaking me out.”

He glances at her, then drags his hands down his face and throws himself down onto her mostly-made bed with a muffled scream into the nearest pillow. Which is probably as close to a ‘Okay, just give me another minute and I’ll tell you everything Robs’ as she’s going to get. So she sits cross-legged on the bed next to him, passes him one of her childhood teddy bears because he likes soft things when he’s upset, and waits. 

After a while, he lifts his head, says, “Eddie,” and drops his face back down. 

Ah. 

Robin has been trying to gently prod Steve into talking about the way he and Eddie have been dancing around each other for months. She’d clocked Eddie’s crush on her best friend all the way back in the Upside Down and silently empathized with the hopelessness of his position, knowing well the pain of falling for a straight person. It was the way he and Steve had both gravitated to each other since Eddie’s release from the hospital, though, that had caught her by surprise. She’s witnessed them cuddling on the couch, for god’s sake. Multiple times! And that’s considered so much weirder between two guys than two girls. But Steve has always shied away from the topic… until now.

“Okay,” she says slowly. “Did something happen with Eddie today?”

Steve shakes with something she first takes for more crying, but he peels himself up again with a peel of croaky, slightly hysterical laughter. “Yes and no. We were going to hook up, but… I didn’t say what he wanted me to, so I guess that’s done.”

“You were—” Robin rests a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “Really? Wow, I didn’t realize you—”

“We’ve been hooking up for a couple weeks,” Steve interrupts bluntly, sounding absolutely wrecked to have to say it. 

… Last week she’d been trying to coax him towards realizing that draping himself all over Eddie or pulling Eddie half on top of him during movie nights had to mean something. When he hadn’t taken the bait, she’d made some comment about how they lived in each other's brains and were incapable of keeping secrets from her, “You know that, right Steve?” And he’d nodded and agreed. 

So. Wow. 

“Oh,” she says softly, and despite her best efforts some of the hurt creeps into her voice. It’s not like she doesn’t know how hard something like this can be to talk about, how saying the words can make it terrifyingly real. The only reason she’d told Steve had been the temporary death-defying insanity of both escaping actual, literal, pee-yourself-in-terror-a-little-bit torture and whatever lingering truth drugs said torturers had shot them up with; bringing it up a second time, after all that had worn off, had been scary even knowing he was safe. 

But he has to know that she would’ve understood, right? That she could have helped him figure things out so neither Eddie nor him would’ve ended up getting hurt?

And weeks. Steve is her soulmate, her other half, her Platonic with a Capital P, had been doing gay stuff with another boy and she’d had no idea! The guy she only has to look at to know when he’s hoarding the last of the Red Vines for himself, or that he did forget to rewind something before reshelving it, or that the kids put him up to something really stupid that’s going to take up half their day because it involves driving to the game store two towns over or something. How had he kept up that good of a poker face for so long?!

Robin takes a deep breath and tries again, because her best friend is upset and that’s way more important than feeling left out of the loop. 

“Steve, it’s okay.” She reaches out and starts rubbing his back the way he likes when he’s just thrown up from a migraine, in the hopes that will help now. “It’s okay if you like boys. Instead of or in addition to, whichever, both are totally fine and allowed and only make you a freak in the eyes of small-minded bigots who feel trapped in their own lives and hate joy!”

He rolls onto his side and stares at her with red, watery eyes with a little sniffle. “I know,” he says sadly. “I know, that’s… that’s that Eddie thinks the problem is, because I fucked up when he asked me. He asked what we were doing and I couldn’t… I couldn’t think of any words, Rob.”

She shuffles around to lie down facing him from the other pillow, and Steve automatically positions the teddy bear between their mouths because he knows she has this thing about feeling other people’s breath on her face. 

“I still like girls,” he continues while she’s still getting settled. “And guys, sometimes. Or maybe just Eddie, I don’t know. I know liking a guy doesn’t make me a freak, but I’m—Part of what I like about him isn’t—If I tell him, he might think it’s… weird. Or insulting, maybe.”

“Okay,” Robin says slowly, trying to think through the utter blank she is drawing. “Uh, do you wanna maybe walk me through exactly what you’re talking about? Tell me what we’re working with here.”

Steve hesitates, his gaze sliding away to fix blankly on a loose thread from her quilt that he’s fiddling with. “Yeah, uh…”

Maybe he still can’t think of any words to explain himself. Robin nudges the bear aside and pulls him into a hug, scooching up on the bed a little so he can tuck his head under her chin. “Hey, it’s okay Steve. I'm on your side no matter what, alright? I one thousand percent promise you that nothing you say will make me look at you any differently, no matter what, because you’re my dingus and we’re platonically bonded together by fate and that shit is forever.”

A weak, muffled laugh tickles wetly at her neck. “What if I killed a guy and cannibalized him to hide the body?”

“I’d get you mouthwash and an antacid,” she replies promptly. “Your alibi is that we were watching Flashdance again and I had to wrestle the scissors away from you before you made irreversible surgical corrections to your own sweatshirt.”

Steve snorts. “Fuck, okay. But stop trying to tell people I did that, I was joking about that.” He pulls back, chewing on his bottom lip, and then takes a deep breath. “You know how Eddie’s… gained weight since he got out of the hospital?”

“Yeah?” She does, because at first everyone in their monster hunter club had been worried about how stick-thin the bat attack and subsequent coma had left him. Since then he’s filled back out at then some, definitely no longer underweight and with a good amount of color finally back in his cheeks. 

“I like it,” Steve admits in a small voice. “I like touching him where he’s… soft. I don’t know how to tell him that without calling him fat, though. No one likes to be told they’re fat, right? I don’t really like someone telling me I’ve gained weight, because most of the time people only say that when they’re being critical assholes. But… he looks so happy when he’s eating, you know? All relaxed, and he deserves that after everything he went through. And we get high together and I can’t stop touching him, I… I see skin where his shirt rides up I want to bite it. And I actually have! I’ve been freaking out that he’s going to notice and call me on it, but instead he said he doesn’t want to be ‘just’ anything with me and I choked. Bad!”

“Oh,” Robin says, understanding dawning. Not that she gets the appeal of what Steve is talking about, but she doesn’t get the appeal of guys in general so it kind of falls in the same category… And she could’ve done without that fun biting fact. “Oh, Steve…”

She can definitely agree, though, that after a town-wide manhunt and helping to save the world, Eddie Munson deserves to relax and unwind however he wants. They all fucking do, but Eddie nearly died. 

The way Steve’s face crumples up hurts her heart to see. “H-he asked me what we were doing and all I could think about was what I was doing and I just… sat there. I fucked it up.”

She hugs him tightly again. “No no no, this is fixable. We’ll come up with a way for you to tell him, okay? It’s just a misunderstanding, that’s nobody’s fault.”

“We’ve been hooking up for weeks and I’ve kissed him everywhere but the mouth,” Steve mutters miserably into her shoulder. 

“…Okay, that bumps it up to like, sixty percent your fault,” Robin admits, frowning. That doesn’t sound like the Steve she knows. The Steve she knows loves kissing, he’d literally been known for that back in school; everyone had always gotten to see him and his girl of the week (or Nancy, during the twelve or so months they’d dated) sucking face in the hallways between classes, by their lockers, in the parking lot before and after school. “Why the hell not?”

“Because I was already being weird about it, kissing him felt like it’d be… Fuck, what’s that big word Dustin likes to use? Oh, presumptuous. And… he didn’t try to kiss me either, so I wasn’t sure…”

“Dingus,” she sighs, and hugs him tighter. Then—knowing that when Steve gets going about his trysts he does so comprehensively, no detail spared, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but she mentally braces herself to hear more talk about penises in the next hour or so than she has before in her entire life—she says, “Alright, from the top. Tell me everything so we can figure out how to get you your man.”

Part 3, parts 4 & 5, part 6, part 7, part 8

Tag list: @steviewashere (since your ask kicked this off in the first place 😘), @hotluncheddie

[avoxrising]

True Romance - A Hunger Games One Shot

Finnick x Reader

So this fic is inspired by the song True Romance by Tove Lo. I recommend giving a listen before and after you read this. There will also be ~lyrics~ scattered throughout.

Synopsis: You and your soulmate/fellow district 4 victor Finnick are both reaped for the Quarter Quell. Your worlds shatter as you both realize you could not live without each other… and you won’t.

Note: This fic deviates from cannon as in the story, there is no rescue plan/rebellion plan to get the victors out of the QQ/save Katniss. The rest of the characters are the same outside of you going in for Mags.

Also, I do not own the rights to any of the lyrics I sprinkled throughout this story. They all come from the song True Romance by Tove Lo and thus belong to their respective copyright owners.

Content warnings: severe emotions and suicide - please do not read if you are not in the right headspace. Warning you will cry (I cried writing this). Fluff and angst but no smut outside of kissing. Normal hunger games violence/murder. Mention of bullets in the song lyrics.

Also it’s a long one! About 5.5k words but I didn’t want to split it up into parts as I felt the story was better being one long part. Also sorry for the formatting I write my fics in my iPhone notes. Enjoy!

———

~

“I walk in a vision in red

Your favorite movie playing on my silhouette”

~

He had been your everything for as long as you could remember. You grew up as neighbors in a small neighborhood on the edge of District 4. You remember walking to school with him every day, convinced all you would be was best friends and nothing more would come of it.

That all changed when at the age 14 he was reaped for the Hunger Games. You have never cried so much in your life. Holding onto him as you said your goodbyes in the back of the justice building, you made him promise that he would win and return to you.

He kept his promise, just as he has kept every promise since that day. When he returned to you a few weeks later, you were the happiest person in all of District 4. Even though he was no longer your neighbor, you visited him constantly in Victor’s Village whenever you could sneak out of your small neighborhood.

You grew closer together over the years until at age 16 you were reaped for the Hunger Games.

“I’m not coming back Finn,” you cried as you said your goodbyes to your mentor.

“Yes you are,” he said. “If I can come back then so can you.”

You wanted to believe him more than anything, but at the same time you felt hopeless. When you did actually make it out of the games, you were so completely numb and ready to shut everyone out, but he wouldn’t let you. You were back to being neighbors again, but it wasn’t the same.

Slowly, but surely you returned to him. You became even closer as he became your reason for living. Slowly your feelings started to develop past friendship, but you didn’t have the heart to tell him. He was one of the only people you had left, and you were so scared of losing him and messing up the friendship you had.

~

“You turn to me just for a minute

Do you know my real secret?”

~

Returning to the capital every year to mentor was hard, but at least you got to do it with him. You often spent the night curled up in his bed on the fourth floor, unable to sleep due to the nightmares. You were worried that he would soon catch onto your feelings for him, but you needed him more than anything and we’re too scared to push him away, or let your feelings for him go.

Over the years, he started to catch onto your feelings. He had always felt the same way, but never thought you would feel that way about him. He was equally scared though to voice his feelings in fear of messing up the dynamic you two had. You were his everything, and he couldn’t bear the thought of losing you over confessing his feelings.

~

“Make my move

Spillin' all my popcorn over you

You're confused

What does a girl like me want with you?”

~

After a particularly long day of training your newest tributes for the arena, you slid into bed with him and curl up in his arms. This was your normal routine, but you could tell something was off tonight. He was nervous and you could feel his chest rise and fall faster than normal.

“What’s up Finn,” you asked concerned as you pulled away to look at him, sitting up on the bed.

“Nothing,” he mumbled as he refused to make eye contact with you.

You raise his head to look at you as you reply, “I know you Finn, you can tell me anything. No judgement, just honesty.”

He tried to hide his nervousness as you looked at him, hoping that you would let this whole topic go for once, but he knew you. And he knew you would keep asking until he gave you a straight answer.

“I love you,” he said nervously. “I’ve loved you since we were 7 but I never wanted to tell you because I was worried it would end our friendship…”

You tilt his head up to look at you again as you pressed your lips into his. It felt so good to finally hear him say those words to you, knowing you had felt the same way for quite a while. He kissed you back slowly pulling you back into his arms.

“I never thought I would have a chance with you,” he mumbled. “You were always the pretty one growing up and I was the class clown who was constantly getting in trouble. I put you through hell and back when I was shipped off to the games and I know you went through hell and back to return to me after yours.”

You kissed him again in reassurance.

“I love you Finn,” you told him. “Forever.”

~

“I want your hands

Your future plans

To the bitter end”

~

Three years later, you were walking down an aisle of rose petals on the beach with a beautiful bouquet in your hands. Your friends and family had gathered for your special day and you couldn’t be more excited to finally marry your soulmate. As you looked at him, you could see tears gathering in his eyes.

“You’re so beautiful my love,” he whispered in your ear.

“Forever and always Finn,” you smiled.

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Your kisses were always passionate, but this was the best one of all. You both were over the moon to finally cement your love in eternity for each other, and you couldn’t wait for your happily ever after to finally begin. Unfortunately, that happy ever after was short-lived.

A quick six months later and you were both sitting in front of the TV of your home, anxiously awaiting the announcement of the 75th hunger games. When the words came out of President Snow’s mouth, stating that the tributes would be reaped from the existing pool of victors, your heart shattered into millions of pieces. Finnick was the only living male victor of district 4, and there was no way you were sending Mags into that arena. After her stroke a few years ago. Her health had rapidly deteriorated and you don’t even know if she would live long enough to make it to the reaping let alone the games.

You fell asleep that night, and every night after, completely numb and crying in his arms.

~

“Take a life for me, you know I'd do it instantly

In danger of a true romance

We are meant to be, I'd die for love and loyalty

In danger of a true romance”

~

Mags passed just two weeks short of the reaping. Her funeral was brief and intimate, with only a few gathering. You were grieving the loss of your mentor as well as both you and your husband’s impending end.

Are the reaping was painful as you were forced to look out over the sorrowful faces of your community who gathered for your send off. They knew that they were most likely going to lose their only remaining victors in a few short days.

You held his hand as your names were both called, putting on a brave face for the cameras, but you both knew neither of you were making it out of the arena. Although you both had a good shot of winning against the other victors, you knew he would die for you and you for him.

You held onto each other the whole train ride to the capital, wanting to spend each and every moment together. You were angry at the capital. You would never get to have his kids, you would never get to grow old together and you would never have your happily ever after that you had worked so hard for.

The tribute parade was bittersweet. You were both adored in the capital and were seen as the royal couple of the capital. The people lived vicariously through your love, and were devastated to see both of you back and headed into the arena.

“You look beautiful as always love,” Finnick stated as he took in your parade outfit. Your long, baby blue dress perfectly hugged your curves as it flowed down your body, gently giving the impression of water. Your husband was dressed in a flowy blue dress shirt that matched your dress as well as a pair of tan slacks. You grabbed his hand as he pulled you up onto the chariot, handing you a sugar cube as you anxiously waited for the parade to begin.

Tears streamed down your face as you rode your way down towards the cold eyes of President Snow. You couldn’t bear to look at the crowd or Finnick. He squeezed your hand as your chariot pulled around the circle and started back towards the tribute and remake center.

Finally, the ride was over and you were able to go back upstairs with your husband. You collapsed in his arms, drifting off to sleep under the warm comforter of the bed.

~

“I don't like the real world

I don't like the real world

It's tough out in the real world

Let's go back to our world”

~

Over the next few days, you didn’t leave his side at all. You held his hand as he practiced with the tridents in the training center, and he held yours as you threw knives at the dummies, pretending they were Snow. The rest of the victors gave you both sad and knowing looks as they could see the pain in both of your eyes.

Every night you held him tighter and wished that you could stay in bed forever with him.

“I don’t want to leave you,” you cried as you held onto him.

“You’ll always be with me love, forever and ever,” he whispered as he kissed your forehead.

“I wish we could just run away and escape all of this,” you mumbled through sobs. “Never enter the arena. Never have to leave each other.”

“I know,” he whispered. “I love you forever.”

~

“Bullets fly, you took him down

And now we're honeymooners dreamin' 'bout tropical skies”

~

Peacekeepers had to pry you two off of each other as they sent you to your respective rooms under the arena. You cried the entire way to your room, desperately, hoping that you would find him quickly in the arena.

“It’s a wetsuit so I would expect a hot climate with water,” your stylist stated as she got you ready.

Looking at it, made you sick as you knew this was Snow’s twisted way of separating you from Finnick. He knew that both of you would have the advantage in the arena with there being water and he wanted one of you to survive without the other. He wanted you both to suffer.

Tears began slipping from your eyes as you rose into the arena, but you quickly wiped them away. You couldn’t let the other tributes see you as weak as they would quickly pick you off before you could find Finnick. You desperately looked around for him, but couldn’t locate him. He must be on the other side of the cornucopia. Your hands began to shake as the countdown neared zero.

When the gong sounded, you dove into the water, swimming with all of your strength towards the spoke to your right. You quickly pulled yourself up and sprinted towards the cornucopia, but not before the male tribute from nine tackled you back into the water. You struggled against his grasp as he tried to pull you under, but you knew you could hold your breath for at least three minutes. All you could hope is that he couldn’t hold his breath for as long as yours.

He began thrashing about in the water as he repeatedly kicked you in the ribs. You managed to kick him a few times yourself, but you were mainly focused on holding your breath. Gasping in pain would only allow the water to enter your lungs faster and there is no way you were drowning less than five minutes into the games.

Slowly, you noticed him starting to struggle as he tried to pull you back towards the surface. You yanked him down with all of your strength, trying to stop him from swimming upwards in his panic state you managed to kick him in the ribs enough times to knock the air out of his lungs, he began choking on the water as you were able to get out of his grasp and quickly swim towards the surface. As your head breached the water you heard a cannon go off, and the male tribute’s body floated to the surface.

Panicked, you looked around at the carnage surrounding the cornucopia. Bodies laid everywhere and cannons went off every minute or two. Suddenly, you heard Finnick screaming for you and saw him running around the cornucopia trying to spot you. You were out of breath from your struggle, but managed to pull yourself up on one of the spokes as he came running over to you.

“Oh my god I thought you were dead,” he said as you shook in his arms.

“I killed the male from 9,” you said as sobs racked your body.

“Come on we have to go now,” he said as he pulled you into the woods.

After about an hour of running, you sat down to rest. The adrenaline was slowly wearing off, and your ribs were beginning to bruise under your wetsuit. Luckily Finnick had grabbed some knives for you and a trident for himself from the cornucopia.

Suddenly 11 cannons rang out through the area, marking the end of the bloodbath.

“How many people did you get,” you asked Finnick as you both were trying to catch your breath. The arena was unbelievably hot and you had yet to find drinkable water.

“Two,” he replied. “Both from 5.”

You held onto each other for a few more minutes until you decided to start moving again, desperate to find fresh water.

A few hours later, you still have no luck finding water. You decide to set up camp under some large trees and settle down for the night. You both snacked on some of the food Finnick harvested from the surrounding trees and talked about who was going to take the first watch.

Suddenly the familiar chimes of a parachute grow louder as a gift from your sponsors floats down to your camp. Finnick lets you open it, and you discover a small metal object with a note that says “drink up”.

You turn to Finnick as you exclaim, “do you have any idea what this is? It’s way too small to store any water.”

He laughs at you as he takes it from your hand and walks over to a tree.

“Honey it’s a spile,” he laughs as water starts flowing from the tree. “Come here and drink.”

“Honestly, I have no clue what that is but I’m not complaining,” you state as you start drinking from the tree.

After you both rehydrated and washed your faces, you settled down for the night. Finnick insisted on taking first watch so you could get as much rest as possible. Suddenly the anthem started playing as the fallen we’re about to be shown. There had been no cannons since the bloodbath but you were anxious to see which faces appeared in the sky.

The faces of Beetee, Wiress, Blight, Wolf, and Seeder appeared in the sky along with both tributes from 5, the female morphing from 6, both tributes from 9 and the female from 10.

“Eleven down, thirteen to go,” Finnick muttered.

You squeezed his hand and gave him a sad look as you laid down to rest, quickly dozing off.

~

“In trouble again

When does it end?

Will it ever end?

Save me”

~

You woke to the sound of heavy rain hitting the canopy of the jungle that surrounded you. It couldn’t have been more than a few hours since you dozed off but Finnick was still alert and on guard. Suddenly, the rain became heavier and you and Finnick quickly realized that the rain was not water- it was blood.

Hot thick blood coated your bodies as you ran through the jungle, desperate to find anything to shelter you from the rain. You felt like you were suffocating but Finnick held your hand tightly as you stumbled over roots and vines.

After running for what felt like hours the rain finally stopped. Finnick grabbed some moss off of a nearby tree and began to clean the blood off of you. He managed to get the spile working again and you were both able to somewhat rinse yourselves off using the small stream from the tree.

Once you both were clean and had a moment to catch your breaths, you heard the scream of a man in the distance. You couldn’t see anyone but you could sense that they were too close for comfort.

“Which way Finn?” you whispered to your husband.

“This way,” he replied as he slowly started moving in the opposite direction of where you heard the screaming from. Your hands were clasped tightly together as you tried to sneak away quietly but that all changed the second you heard the cannon go off.

“Run!” you whispered as both you and Finnick took off into a sprint away from the other tributes. You couldn’t see them but you had the feeling they were following you.

Suddenly an axe flies past your head as Finnick pushes you to the ground. You quickly get up and turn to face your assailants. You were met with the faces of Johanna Mason and the male from district 10 wielding a spear. You slipped a knife from your belt and quickly flung it at Johanna who was getting ready to throw her other axe. She dodged and it grazed her leg but not enough to stop her from charging at you with the axe. You rolled underneath her as she swung down at you, narrowly missing your head. Pulling a larger knife from your belt, you took a swing at her, slashing a gash into her cheek.

You lose focus for a second when you hear Finnick grunt and then a cannon go off. Johanna and you both look over to see Finnick standing over the body of Johanna’s ally, fresh blood dripping from his trident. You stab Johanna in the arm before she kicks you hard in the ribs and flees into the jungle. You would have bolted after her but Finnick was suddenly by your side to checking to see if you were injured.

“I’m fine Finn she just kicked me in the ribs,” you said as you stood back up. You looked over at him and saw his shoulder was bleeding.

“It’s fine,” he said as he noticed you looking at his shoulder. “He barely grazed me and it’s not deep.”

You gave him an annoyed look as you went to gather some moss to press on his wound. As you returned you both agreed that you should get moving as your fight wasn’t exactly quiet and you didn’t know if others were on their way, eager to capitalize off of the carnage of your fight.

~

“Running from the scene, more money that we could ever dream

In danger of a true romance”

~

You set off back towards the beach. Johanna had run further into the Jungle and you weren’t looking for another fight just yet. Both of you knew the beach was a risk but you wanted to wash the remaining blood off from the rain you had encountered earlier.

After an hour or so of walking you decided to pause for a snack break. Finnick had gathered some nuts and berries earlier that you had deemed edible so you both sat down to eat. Quickly you are both on your feet again as you hear the all too familiar sounds of water crashing- a tsunami. You can’t remember the last time you ran that fast. Memories flooded into your head of the tsunamis you had seen in the past but you had never experienced one first hand. Feeling the water getting closer you looked back, only to notice that the trees weren’t falling from the impact of the water.

“Quickly Finn! We need to climb the trees!” you gasped, out of breath from the running. You only had seconds to spare as he hoisted you up into a tree before climbing up behind you. You both climbed up and up until the branches were too thin to hold your weight. The water had shook the tree violently upon impact but you both held on tight. Looking down, you saw the body of a woman being swept in the current. It was too loud to hear if a cannon had gone off but you think you could make out the dark hair of Cecelia, the woman from District 8.

~

“Bodies left to bleed, they all had it comin'

In danger of a true romance”

~

When the water had finally subsided, you climbed down from the tree and walked the remaining distance to the beach. Finnick went ahead to check if the coast was clear and you followed once he gave you a nod that it was clear.

He gathered some leaves from the trees to use as cushions as you got the spile working again. After a few minutes, Finnick had woven a picnic blanket for you to both sit on. The familiar chime of a parachute sounded as a picnic basket full of bread floated down from the sky. You laid there for hours with him, snacking on the bread and talking about the beaches of home. He quickly dozed off into a nap as you soothingly ran your fingers through his messy hair.

You didn’t realize that you had fallen asleep until he woke you up to watch the sunset with him. There were tears in both your eyes as you realized this might be your last sunset together.

“Thank you for everything Finn,” you said as tears ran silently down your face. He wiped the tears from your eyes and planted a kiss on your forehead.

“You don’t have to thank me love,” he replied. “I would do it over and over again in all of my lifetimes with you. I love you forever”

You both sat their crying until the sky grew dark.

Dread filled your chest as the anthem began playing. The faces of the male morphling, Cecelia, and the district 10 male populated the sky before it went dark again.

You took the first watch, waking Finnick a few hours later so you could rest. He kissed you gently as you fell asleep in his arms.

You slept until dawn when he shook you awake and quickly pulled you back into the forest. He hushed you he pointed you towards the cornucopia where you could make out a fight happening on the rocks. The siblings, Gloss and Cashmere, were taking on Katniss and Peeta from 12. You were terrified that they had seen you but Finnick steadied your breathing and held you tight. He didn’t think you guys had been spotted but he wasn’t sure.

A bloodcurdling scream broke out followed by a cannon, Katniss lay bleeding on the rocks, her throat slit, while Peeta was frozen in fear. He quickly snapped out of it and began sprinting away from the siblings down one of the spokes. He wasn’t running directly towards you, but he wasn’t running away from you either. Maybe he had seen you and was hoping Cashmere and Gloss would be more interested in hunting you down than chasing him.

~

“Thought I watched you die, I killed a man with tears in my eyes

In danger of a true romance”

~

He was partially correct. Cashmere continued to follow Peeta into the jungle but Gloss quickly turned towards you and Finnick. You thought it was stupid that he would try attacking both of you without his sister until you saw the rage in his eyes. He was full of adrenaline and was not messing around.

You threw two knives at him in quick succession as he sprinted straight towards Finnick, holding a long dagger in his hand. One of the knives lodged in his torso but it wasn’t enough to immediately take him down. He dodged Finnick’s trident and jammed his knife into Finnick’s thigh. It must have penetrated a few inches in as Finnick fell backwards onto the ground. Before Gloss had the chance to finish him off you flung a knife straight into his throat. The cannon was almost immediate as he fell onto Finnick.

Relieved, you thought the fight was over until a screaming Peeta was suddenly silent as another cannon boomed. You knew Cashmere was going to come looking for her brother and so you had to act quickly. Finnick was not in any position to move so you gave him a quick kiss before running off into the jungle towards where you thought Cashmere would be.

Peeta had put up a better fight than you had expected as Cashmere was bleeding from her nose and ear. She flung a knife in your general direction but it was clear her balance was effected by whatever damage Peeta had done to her head. You flung your last two knives at her before she had a chance to throw anymore at you. She fell to the ground as your knives had hit her right eye and her heart. The cannon sounded and you quickly picked up your knives as well as the remaining knives she had on her belt and ran back towards where you had left Finnick.

You found him pressing moss to his leg, the dagger laying besides him.

“Why did you take it out! You aren’t supposed to take it out,” you cried as you looked at the dagger next to his leg.

“It’s ok it’s not that bad,” he said as he tried to console you, but you were violently sobbing on the ground next to him.

“No you can’t do that. You’re gonna bleed out,” you cried.

“Shhh it’s ok,” he whispered as he pulled you into a hug. You laid on him sobbing into a parachute made it’s way down through the canopy and onto the ground next to you. Quickly opening it, you found first aid supplies for his leg. You apologized as you pressed alcohol onto the wound and your husband cried out in pain. He squeezed your hand as you gave him stitches and then bandaged the wound. You moved him a few yards away from where Gloss’s body still laid and made him rest so the medicine on his leg could start working. He could tell how exhausted you were so he made you take a nap while he took watch.

“No you need the rest,” you complained as you brought him water.

“I can’t sleep until the pain meds kick in,” he stated. “I’ll wake you up before they make me sleepy or if any danger appears as I’m not in any shape to fight right now.”

You reluctantly agreed and laid down on his lap. Sleep came quickly as you were exhausted from the morning’s events. Eventually Finnick woke you up as the meds were making him sleepy.

“Stay awake for a few more minutes,” you said. “I’m gonna go grab some more moss for your leg.” He hummed in reply and you quietly got up to grab some moss.

~

“Saved you from that room, the powder and gold and the men were all doomed

Against our love, they never stood a chance”

~

A few steps into the jungle your head began to vibrate and you felt a weird energy come over you. Paranoid, you looked around as the trees changed colors. The green leaves were turning blue and the trees seemed to be leaking a yellow sap. Suddenly, you noticed movement to the left of you and you quickly flung a knife towards the movement. A grunt was followed by a swift punch to your jaw. You guess your assailant was closer to you than you initially thought. Dizzy, you fell to the ground as the world started spinning around you. Swirls of color clouded your vision as the man who had punched you moments before was now on top of you, his spear pressed against your neck. Looking up at him, you saw the face of Finnick.

“Finnick it’s me!” you screamed. “Get off!”

He pushed down further on your neck as you began to choke. Grabbing the spear you began trying to push it off of you and away from Finnick. You grabbed at his hands only to realize he only had one. Where his other hand should be was a stump of flesh. Your mind continued to race as you quickly realized whoever you were fighting wasn’t Finnick. For one, Finnick didn’t use a spear, and secondly he had two hands and the stump of flesh did not look like a recent injury.

You continued to scream until the person on top of you was shoved off of you and impaled with a trident. He slowly morphed into Chaff as the real Finnick pulled you up into your feet and dragged out away from the body. The cannon sounded and your vision slowly returned to normal as your head stopped vibrating.

It suddenly made sense- the missing hand, the spear, the trees changing colors.

“It’s ok love it’s ok,” Finnick said as he held you tightly. “You’re safe.”

Finnick brought you back to the tree line by the beach and laid you down. He held you tightly as you took a nap.

You woke in a panic to the sound of another cannon but quickly relaxed when you saw Finnick was ok. You noticed his leg was looking better which made you relax further.

“Your leg looks better,” you said as you smiled up at him.

He gave you a quick kiss and a smile as he replied, “I told you I would be alright.”

“Who do you think is left?” you asked.

“There’s just two besides us,” he stated. “I don’t know who’s cannon that was. It’s a toss up between Johanna, Brutus, and Enobaria.”

“Who do you hope it was?” you asked.

“Brutus or Enobaria,” he replied. “I am hoping Johanna is still in a bad shape from our last fight and Brutus and Enobaria are probably teamed up.”

You agreed with him but quickly realized the finale would be starting soon. There were only four of you left.

~

“Take a life for me, you know I'd do it instantly

In danger of a true romance

We are meant to be, I'd die for love and loyalty

In danger of a true romance”

~

The sound of mutts startled you but you could tell they were coming from the other side of the arena, probably chasing the other victors towards you. Finnick and you both stood up quickly and gave each other a kiss as you readied for battle. A bloody Johanna emerged from ten jungle about 100 yards away from you, and both you and Finnick bolted towards you. Taking her out now would mean you could face the final other victor together.

Finnick was faster than you as you raced towards Johanna. Suddenly, you were struck in the collar bone by a sword and stumbled to the ground. An enraged Enobaria stood over you, ready to pounce. Thinking quickly, you kicked her sword out of her hands but she quickly jumped on top of you, her full weight on your chest as she clawed at your stomach with her hands. You desperately grabbed for your knives but Enobaria put her knees on your arms, pinning them to the sand.

You let out the most blood curdling scream as Enobaria’s teeth ripped into your torso, taking a good chunk of flesh and probably some of your insides with it. You heard a cannon, honestly thinking it was yours, until you saw Enobaria get impaled by a trident. Another cannon sounded as your vision started to fade out.

~

“I don't like the real world

I don't like the real world

It's tough out in the real world

Let's go back to our world”

~

You feel Finnick pick you up as sobs racked his chest.

“Please don’t die on me!” He sobbed. “Please.”

You felt like you were floating until you realized you were. Finnick had laid you in the water as he held onto you for dear life.

“Please don’t leave me,” he cried.

It took all of your remaining strength to reach your hand up, cupping his face.

“I love you Finn. Forever.”

His final promise- “I promise I won’t live without you.”

He cried harder as your vision faded out. The last thing you felt was his lips on yours as you lost consciousness.

The last thing you heard was a cannon going off as Finnick impaled his heart with one of your knives, sinking into the water next to you.

The last thing you remember was how much you loved him.

The final cannon sounded.

They would have no victor.

——

I hope you enjoyed/cried!

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Late top 5 ask because I just thought of it: 5 shows that you are always down to rewatch

What a great question that is also such a mean and incredibly evil thing to ask me, wen-kexing-apologist, Chronic Rewatcher lmfao

So fun fact I have seen KinnPorsche 14 times, Our Flag Means Death 11 times, The Old Guard 11 times, Heartstopper 11 times, The Eclipse probably 6 times, Bad Buddy and ITSAY 4 times, etc, etc, etc. And those are counting all the times I have watched a show all the way through. This is not counting the number of times I have actively gone back to watch specific episodes or specific scenes.

See the problem is sometimes I hyperfixate and then I just have to watch it until it is out of my system, sometimes an OST pops in to my head and then I get the urge to watch the show again, and sometimes I agree to edit the transcripts for the backlog of @the-conversation-pod and @bengiyo and @shortpplfedup start talking about a show and I'm like "ahhh good times! I should rewatch that!"

So you can imagine the stress I am under. I'll have to do this by category

Show I Am Constantly Rewatching: Bed Friend

gif by @perths

I know what you may be thinking, and yes you are correct I am in this rewatch for Uea's emotional journey. Uea is my sweet summer child, I love him, I have adopted him in to my family, his happiness is my happiness and I love love love watching him go from a quiet, reserved, unhappy character who keeps getting put in unfair situations through no fault of his own in to this confident, vibrant, happy person who is on his way towards healing. Often times it can be hard for me to pick A Favorite thing; a favorite character, a favorite scene because there are so. many. good. ones. But I am constantly, and I mean constantly rewatching the scene in Episode 8 where Uea tells King about his past. I have lost count of how many times I've seen it, no even kidding I watched that scene before I went to bed just last week. I will always always be down to watch that show because I love seeing how far my boy is able to grow with just a little bit of love, care, and therapy.

Show I Would Rewatch for an Instant Mood Boost: If It's With You

gif by @jimmysea

I have a difficult time understanding/feeling emotion in my body unless I abstract it in to fiction. So when I experience strong emotions it is typically when something super happy or super tragic happens on screen, in a book, during my D&D game, etc. One of my absolute favorite things is when something makes me so happy that my body is no longer able to contain it and I have to do the Neurodivergent Hand Flappies(TM). I think I spent 80% of this show grinning so hard it hurt my face and doing the Neurodivergent Hand Flappies because it just...they made me so happy. Amane is so sweet, and he deserves happiness, and he is getting his happiness and he's just full of sunshine and I already rewatched this show like immediately after it finished. This show joins my This Could Fix Me list.

Show I Would Be Down to Rewatch for Emotional Catharsis: Eternal Yesterday

gif by @duckflyfly

I have not rewatched this show...yet. But I want to, and I know that I will eventually. I can only imagine that it is sadder and more evil the second time around. I cried soooo hard over this show. But it is beautiful, and it is healing, and the pain is a good type of aching pain that comes with coming to terms with grief. With acknowledging grief. With finding where the beauty and peace lie within death and memory, and the way its claws dig in to you and leave you changed forever. Ghosts can be warm, and this show makes me warm despite it all.

Show I Would Be Down to Rewatch for Content: I Told Sunset About You/I Promised You the Moon

gif by @thii-nii

I think I am in @shortpplfedup's camp about how you find new things to think about every time you watch this show. I actually desperately, desperately own I Promised You the Moon several rewatches because I have seen ITSAY four times at this point and IPYTM once. I am currently rewatching IPYTM with a friend who is seeing it for the first time, so that should help. But the first time I watched this show I was unable to function to notice anything, and it wasn't until the third time I'd watched ITSAY when I was rewatching it to prepare for the podcast panel, that I finally was able to form any level of coherent analytical thought to it. So I would rewatch this at any point just to see what more I could pull out of it.

Show I Would Be Down to Rewatch But Haven't Yet: 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us

gif by @dingyuxi

Bold, based on how intense of a reaction I had to this show, I know. But this was one of my favorites, I never wrote anything about it because I was too busy having a literal mental breakdown over it, one that was so bad I almost had to bail on the entire show with like...20 minutes left of it, and I originally nixed my plan to show it to a friend. BUT I have watched the specific scene that did me in (and only that scene) and it went over fine once I knew to expect it so I do want to watch the whole thing again. I have a friend who I have been forcing to watch BL shows I liked and I watch them with her, and this is on the list. However, I am currently running her through I Promised You The Moon and What Did You Eat Yesterday? Season 2 so this show is still quite a ways out from a rewatch because I am not a total monster and want to give her some modicum of emotional break between those two shows and 180 Degree.

Bonus:

Show I Would Never Rewatch: Enchante

I hate this show truly an unreasonable amount. I hate Theo so much oh my fucking god. I refuse to watch this again and I'm mad that I finished it.

ASK ME MY TOP 5 OF ANYTHING BL

[dragon-creates]

She Was Like A Sunflower

Read on AO3

Read Part 1 Here

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12

“Just your imagination!”

.

“Trust your imagination…”

Jax and Pomni remember who they used to be, the childhoods they grew up from, the lives they lived and the love they shared. But it doesn’t mean their journey is finished yet. They still need to find a way to escape and return home. Things become more complicated in the real world when Riley starts to investigate further into the disappearances with the help of Samual. The more everyone tries to piece together the puzzle, the more C&A keeps breathing down their neck. But one thing is for sure, time is becoming limited each day. Will Pomni, Jax and the rest of the circus be able to escape before it runs out? Or will they fade away into nothing but pixels?

Bet ya thought this was gonna be Royally Screwed chap 5? Well guess what, I LIED MWAHAHAHAHA. THIS WAS THE REAL APRILS FOOLS JOKE ALL ALONG!!!

So strap yourselves in, cause if you thought chapter 5 was bad then you are in no way prepared for what I have planned. Chapter 5 was child's play my dude, we going straight into the deep end hehehehe

Hope you're prepared 😈

Willow

Wait for the signal and I'll meet you after dark

Show me the places where the others gave you scars – Willow by Taylor Swift

.

.

.

Three Months Ago

“Penny?” Amber knocked on the door of her daughter’s apartment. “Penny, it’s mom!”

Throughout the past week, Penny had been eerily silent. Normally she would let in her mother or sister, or occasionally answer the phone if they called. But every time Amber reached out, she never replied. She tried to cook it up to her daughter grieving, but she was a mother. Mothers worried.

So here she was, outside Penny’s home and trying to get her to answer the door.

“Look Penny, I know these past few months have been stressful,” Amber said, “But everyone is getting worried about you. I had to stop Riley from charging down here to get you out. We all just want to help you, please.”

Amber gave her a moment, to see if she would hear someone saying they were coming, or have the door unlocked and revealing a messy haired brunette. But nothing. Amber sighed, she didn’t want to do this, but she had to make sure Penny was okay. She reached into her purse and pulled out the spare key her daughter had given, opening the door slowly.

The apartment was in a state, dirty dishes and dust gathering on the countertops. It had been a while since the woman visited, who would usually help her daughter clean. Maybe she would do that today. “Penny!” Amber called out, still no answer. “Penny, we gotta try and get up today.” She walked to the bedroom, “Maybe we can get some coffee or go to the park or-”

Her stomach dropped. The moment she stepped into the bedroom, the bed was empty, without a body in sight. But what scared her more was the turned-on computer with nothing open and a damaged headset…just like Riley’s cases.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no,” Amber chanted, running out of the room, scouring every inch of the place. “Penny?!” She reached the bathroom, no one. “Penny?!” she checked her sewing room, still nothing. “Penny!” the centre of the living room and kitchen. Again, void of anyone there.

She went back into the bedroom, pulling off the sheets, praying her eyes were playing tricks on her. But deep down she knew the truth. She covered her mouth, tears stinging in her eyes. She was gone. Her baby was gone.

She reached into her purse and grabbed her phone, hastily dialling until an operator picked up. “Yes hi! My name is Amber Reed!” she cried, “I went to visit my daughter Penny Reed but when I got there she was gone! All that was left was a broken headset and computer just like…just like.” Her voice broke off into a cry.

The operator understood immediately, asking for an address and told the woman that the police would arrive shortly. Amber thanked them and hung up, before dialling a new number.

Riley’s number.

“Hello?” Riley answered, “Mom, is everything okay?”

“Riley…Penny,” Amber sniffed, unable to say the words.

“What?” Riley asked, her voice starting to lace with concern. “Mom what happened?!”

Amber gulped, “It’s Penny…she’s gone.”

.

.

.

Jax stirred, now that it was confirmed that he could actually sleep here, it was certainly something to get used to again. He didn’t mind though, it was something that made him feel more alive, more sane, more human. Especially now that he remembered who he was. Jack Bloom, he missed hearing that name. But he missed another even more.

A warm body stirred next to him. Penny he lovingly threaded his fingers through Pomni’s short hair. He still couldn’t believe she was here! That she went all through that for him! He was going to get them out of here, no matter what.

Pomni hummed at the sensation of his fingers, mumbling and kneading her pillow beneath her hand like a cat. Jax chuckled, he missed watching her do that, every night she would do it. It was the cutest thing to him. Her eyes blinked open, taking in the purple rabbit before her and smiled sleepily.

“It wasn’t a dream,” she hummed, “It was real.”

“As real as it can get sweetheart,” Jax pressed a kiss to her forehead. “God you’re so beautiful.”

She giggled as his fur tickled her skin, wrapping her arms around his neck and bringing him in for another kiss, “Not so fast bunny boy.”

He chuckled against her lips, giving her bottom lip a small nip, “I’m definitely not complaining.” He pulled her closer to him, revelling in her warmth. Jax missed this, he missed this so much. He missed her so much. How could he ever imagine losing all of this? He literally had the world in his hands and the future ahead of his path was a bright one, and because of Luke, he was so quick to throw it away.

He pulled his lips away, he almost lost his person. He was such an idiot. Jax buried his face into Pomni’s neck, breathing in as much of her scent as he could and keeping her close. He never wanted to lose her again.

“Jack?” Pomni brought her hand up to stroke the back of his head, “Hey, talk to me. What’s going on?”

He shuddered, he feared what to say next, feared that the next wrong move would ruin something. But he shook that thought away, those were the same things in his head that drove him away from Penny in the first place. He wasn’t going to make that same mistake again. “I shouldn’t have made that deal with Jason,” he murmured into her shoulder, turning his face to look at her. “I’m the reason we’re in this mess. You deserve to be home, with your mother and sister, making your dreams come true. And I…I’m really sorry Pen.”

“Hey,” she cupped his cheeks in her hands. “You didn’t know any of this was going to happen. There was no way you could have known that you were gonna end up here after putting on that headset. We fought, yes. But I know that if this whole place didn’t exist, we would have figured out the situation we were in. I put on the headset too, you know. I don’t blame you for anything. I love you so much Jack.”

He sighed, how did the world give him the sweetest soul ever created? She was perfect. “I adore you,” he pushed himself up onto his forearms, leaning over her.

“You’re trying to out do me mister,” she pouted.

“Oh am I?” he smirked, “Can’t I not express how I have the most beautiful, perfect fiancé in the world?”

“I know you mister,” she stuck her tongue out at him, “I’ve known you long enough when you’re trying to be a show-off.”

“So you think I’m being a show-off when I’m doing this?” without warning, his lips were fluttering little kisses against her neck, reaching all the spots where he knew Pomni was most ticklish.

“Jack!” Pomni snorted, trying to shove him off her, “You asshole! Don’t make me bite you!”

“Oh no,” Jax drawled, he knew he was pushing her, “Whatever shall I do?” He didn’t stop his kiss attack.

Just as they both expected, Pomni launched up and bite him on the shoulder, making the rabbit laugh out loud. There was a bit of rough and tumble, with both the rabbit and the jester fighting for control, until Pomni eventually pinned his arms down while straddling his waist. “You can sweet talk me all you want,” she jeered, “But never think that I don’t get even.”

“I mean, I’m definitely not mad about these current circumstances sweetie,” Jax grinned, “As long as I get to look at your beautiful face.”

Pomni groaned, shaking her head, “What am I gonna do with you?”

“Hmm, how about marrying me the moment we get back home?” the rabbit suggested, wiggling his eyebrows.

The jester giggled, her annoyance vanishing, “Yeah, I guess that can be arranged.”

His hands were moving up to the back of her head, caressing the soft strands between his fingers. Her short locks were a contrast to her usually long hair that he loved to bury his hands in whenever they kissed, but she still looked beautiful, nonetheless. He lifted his upper body off the mattress, watching as her face softened with relaxation the more he massaged her scalp. His lips inched closer to hers, ready to press them together when-

“-Jax, are you in there?” Ragatha asked on the other side of Jax’s bedroom door, giving it three sharp knocks. “I need to talk to you.”

“Eep!” Pomni squeaked, rolling off her partner and buried herself under the covers. “She’s probably looking for me since I’m not in my room!”

“Shoot!” Jax cursed. Well, as best as he could without triggering Caine’s censorship feature. “This isn’t how I planned to tell everyone about us!”

“I didn’t intend on having a plan at all!” Pomni hissed, “Get in front of me! I’m short enough to hide behind you!”

She found herself regretting those words when she saw a smirk creep on Jax’s lips, “Oh so the little lady finally admits that she’s small.”

Pomni growled, “Keep talking like that and you’ll see how much damage a small person can do to your shins!”

“I’m coming in!” Ragatha called.

Jax immediately sobered up, using his height to cover Pomni behind him, he could hear the rustling of his sheets as she tried to cover herself up with them. He leaned his cheek on his palm, trying to appear as relaxed as possible as Ragatha cracked the door open. “Doll face,” he really hoped he sounded casual, “Don’t you know its rude to break into people’s rooms.”

“Look who’s talking,” she deadpanned, “Besides, you weren’t in your room when I went to check on you last night. I was gonna look for you but then Caine started pressuring us to get to bed at a ‘proper time’.”

Jax face faltered a bit, she cared enough to look for him? After he treated her like nothing but garbage? Little things like that made him all the more grateful that Pomni found her way back into his life. For those last few months and memories, she had managed to get him to open up in ways that no one else could. Maybe deep down it was him trying to get back out or her just being her most sweet and honest self that he couldn’t help but let his edges soften. But either way, it gave him so much more clarity with how he was with the others, and how ashamed that he was blind to the fact that they actually did want to help him. That it wasn’t a cruel trick that someone like Luke would pull. God he was an idiot.

“Guess I got tired of sleeping on a hard stage so I came back to bed,” he gulped down any nerves that were rushing up. “See, no big deal.”

“Well, I hope you’re feeling better,” Ragatha smiled softly. “Pomni was really worried about you when you didn’t come back.”

He felt the jester shuffle behind him when her name was spoken. He wanted nothing more than to smother her with affection right there and then, to show her how much he appreciated even the smallest pieces of kindness she had to offer. “Don’t worry, I’ll see her later and show her that I’m fine,” he told the ragdoll. “But…how was she? After the whole…”

He felt Pomni stiffen, Jax suddenly felt guilty about bringing it up. But seeing her scared little face, how she felt the sensation of dying…Even if she was alright now, it didn’t mean that the trauma of it all was erased. It was just another part of this hell that they were forced to be part of. A hell that Caine was either too naïve or stubborn to fix.

“I won’t lie, she was pretty shaken up. And that’s me giving the sugar-coated version of it,” Ragatha tod him, sighing. “You’d think that we’d be used to it all by now, or at least, we are. But Caine just has to one up himself every time. I know she didn’t – you know. But I was there once, I know how she felt and-” She stopped herself, her voice edging on sounding tearful. Jax watched as she danced the same routine that she always did when she felt as if she was about to cry.

Ragatha closed her eyes, breathed in forcefully and gripped her hands so tight that Jax swore that were almost about to rip. She beamed, as though she wasn’t even sad in the first place. But her smile was just too fake to be considered real, “Anyways, have you seen Pomni? I was going to fetch her for breakfast but she wasn’t in her room. Have you stumbled upon her while going back up to your room.”

Stumbled was definitely a loose term. I mean, if you believed tearful kisses, a long-awaited reunion, the bringing back of lost memories and the passionate promise to return to the real world was just a little stumble then yes, perhaps he did stumble into her. “Uh, nope,” Jax shook his head, “I haven’t seen her. But then again, she is pretty short. It would be hard for anyone not to see her.”

He bit his lip as Pomni kicked him in the leg. Despite her small and light structure, Riley had definitely taught her a thing or two about strength.

“Right,” Ragatha hung her head with worry. “I’m sure she’ll show up eventually. Oh and once you see her again, please be nice to her, for some reason she really likes you. If I didn’t know any better I’d think she has a crush on you.”

“Is that so?” Oh how Jax wished he could see how red Pomni’s face could be turning right now. “I did not know that at all.”

“Unsurprisingly, men are pretty dumb about that stuff,” she scoffed, turning before shutting the door behind her.

When he was sure the sounds of her steps were far away enough, he burst out laughing, echoing off the walls as he fell onto his back.

“Shut up!” Pomni’s was flustered head to toe, grabbing a pillow and smacking him. “So what if I was crushing on you before we got our memories back?! We’re already engaged!”

“It’s the principal little lady!” he snickered, grabbing the pillow and throwing it away. With nothing to hold onto, she fell forward onto his chest with a yelp while the rabbit encased her in his arms. “But I think it’s pretty cute that you were crushing on me even if you didn’t know me.”

Pomni whined, burying her face into Jax’s fluffy chest as she continued to mumble and groan with embarrassment. Jax patted her hair gently, deciding to take pity on her…for now. “There, there,” his fingers combed through her short locks, “I’m sorry for teasing you Penny.”

She went silent there, looking back up at him slowly, “Huh.”

Jax raised on eyebrow, slightly confused, “What? Did I say something weird?”

“You always say weird stuff,” she grinned, earning her a flick to the forehead. The couple giggled as Pomni snuggled up against him more, “It’s just…still getting used to hearing my name again. I feel like I’ve denied of myself for so long, it’s nice knowing that I am someone. And that I do have importance.”

Jax felt himself smile softly, looking at Pomni with all the love he could muster, “That’s my girl.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead, “And I’ll say it as many times as you want as long as it makes you happy. Penny-Penny-Penny-Penny-Penny-” He started smothering her with kisses again as his fiancé squealed.

“Jack!” she snorted, “You can’t say it all the time! The others don’t know yet!”

“I guess that means I get to keep you to myself a little longer,” he chortled.

“Ugh,” she grumbled, “Dumbass.”

“Shortie,” he retorted as she stuck her tongue out at him.

“Well, I think ‘keeping me a little longer’ is gonna have to wait,” Pomni told him, “I gotta head back to my room so no one else gets any more suspicious.”

“You sure I can’t keep you for five more seconds,” Jax pouted.

“Jack Bloom you will learn to be patient,” she poked him on the nose. “Once today is over I’ll be right back.” She cupped his face in her palms, “As long as we see each other throughout the day, then that’s enough for me.”

He took her hand, kissing the inside, “And it’s enough for me too.”

Pomni smiled, pressing one last kiss to his forehead and began to swing her legs off the bed until a long purple arm pulled her back. “Changed my mind! I want five more seconds!” his lips began to attack her neck as she screeched and squirmed.

“Jack!” Pomni cackled, “You asshole!” She couldn’t stop giggling, tackling the rabbit to the bed again as the two began to scuffle about, kisses and laughter filling the room.

Five seconds turned to five minutes…then ten minutes. They made it to breakfast eventually, with Jax having to wait a while after before joining the table in order to erase suspicion. Everyone raised a brow at him, usually the rabbit would be there before anyone, ready with a prank and make everyone else’s morning more miserable. Yet he was late, with a carefree smile and said nothing as he sat down (he was grateful that he as least still got to sit next to Pomni).

It still didn’t stop everyone from raising an eyebrow at this sudden new development, and even whispering about it while eating. “See,” he spoke in a hushed voice in Pomni’s direction, “I knew we’d be good at this whole secret thing.”

Pomni never wanted the ground to swallow her up whole as she did now.

.

.

.

The smell of warm coffee filled Riley’s nose as she filled two mugs. Winter was still at work and now she had this stranger in her house. She was still trying to wrap her head around things, the whiplash of finally being able to get her sister back had thrown her for a loop. Did she trust this Samual kid yet? Not really. But she would wait and see if he was bluffing or not. As long as there was a chance to find Penny, she didn’t want to waste it.

She carried the mugs back through to the living room, where Samual was waiting patiently on the sofa. His eyes scanned the room, widened with curiosity. His gaze landed on a small picture frame with three women, two with red hair and one with brown hair-

“-Take it,” Riley shoved the mug in his face, the boy nearly jumping of his skin.

“Ah, sorry, sorry,” he apologised, taking the coffee gratefully. “I usually get distracted. Um, that girl in the photo, is she-?”

“-Aren’t we here to talk about why you should help me?!” Riley snapped. She didn’t mean to sound so cruel, but right now they were here to discuss business. They weren’t friends, and she certainly didn’t want him to familiarise with Penny.

“Sorry, you’re right, I-I’m sorry,” he cleared his throat, gripping the warm mug as the heat washed through his hands before beginning his story. “I always had a funny feeling about Jason since my parents disappeared. At first I thought he was fine. Whenever my aunt and uncle were unsure with how to help me, Jason was always there to try and cheer me up. Before they went missing, he was close with me and my parents, even letting me see games that weren’t finished yet. But when I started getting older things got…different.”

He shifted in his seat in discomfort, his hands tightening around the cup, “He became more controlling, restrictive. He was very vocal about the stuff that I should be studying like coding and computer science, stuff that my dad used to do. He also kept breathing over my shoulder with where I would go and why I wouldn’t spend time with him. Like, he was angry that I wasn’t always in the building. I chalked it up to thinking that maybe he just wanted me to take over C&A, like my dad did, and maybe this was his own way of grieving his loss. But whenever I tried to talk to him about my parents, he always shut me down. I remember this one time where it was just us, I was begging him to tell me at least one thing about my parents. I…I never saw him so angry in my life. It was the last time I brought it up. Whenever I tried to talk about them to someone else at C&A, they’d either bring up a different conversation or not talk to me at all. If someone did talk to me Jason would either get super pissed, and sometimes even fire them.”

His knuckles started to turn white, “I tried to talk to my aunt and uncle about him, how I didn’t want him in my life anymore. But he was always really good to them and helped them out since I was a kid so they didn’t see anything wrong with him, even saying that I was being dramatic. They even supported him when he tried to pick out what college I should go to and what I should study there! As if it wasn’t my choice!” He cringed once he realised the volume of his voice, shrinking a bit in his seat. “Sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean to yell.”

“It’s fine,” Riley muttered, gathering more information in her head while listening to him.

“Um, well. Everything kinda changed a few months ago, after Jack went missing,” he continued, “Before…well…your sister went missing. I started getting these anonymous messages. There was never any email address attached, just words on a page. I asked them who they were but they never gave me a proper answer. The only thing they mentioned was that they were trapped and needed a way out. I tried to figure out what they meant, asked questions about how they could get out. Anything else they told me was about bugs, keys and trying to find an escape. I don’t think they meant to be confusing, their whole tone made them sound really scared. However one day…there were no more messages. I tried to email them back but they never responded.” He reached into his pocket, pulling out a piece of paper. “This was the last thing they sent me.”

He handed it to Riley, taking it carefully while still feeling slightly suspicious. The whole thing so far had sounded extremely bizarre. She unfolded the paper, blinking in shock at what she saw.

GAME

ITS ALL A GAME

TRAPPED

HELP

THE EXIT IS NEAR

WE NEED A KEY

C&A IS A LIE

FIND THE BUGS

It seemed to be written in a panic. Each sentence quick and at least trying to get to some sort of point. “You sure they didn’t at least have some sort of name?” Riley asked.

“Well, kinda,” Samual shrugged. “The only thing they referred to themselves as was Queenie. But that’s all I got from them.”

“Queenie?” Riley deadpanned. She sighed, running a hand over her face. As if it was realistic for a sane person to have that sort of name. “Look kid, I get your giving me what you know so far, but it’s not realistic for be to see if literally anyone has that name.”

“I know, I know,” Samual told her. “Believe me, I wish that there was more that I could tell you. But that fact that it stated that C&A did something raised so many red flags for me, and it would explain why Jason is so tight lipped about anything relating to my parents.”

“Do you even have proof that you didn’t just make these up?” Riley questioned, her tone harsher as she raised her brow at him.

“N-no,” Samual’s voice wavered slightly. “B-but! I can take you to C&A and show you that I’m telling the truth! I could say that you’re helping with the case and they’d let you in!”

Riley didn’t say a word, taking a long sip of her own coffee. She didn’t know what to believe, everything that this kid had mentioned just seemed off the walls insane! But he spoke to earnestly that a part of her almost felt inclined to believe him. “One chance,” she said, “Got it?”

He was practically radiating with joy the moment those words left her mouth, “Yes! Yes! Absolutely! I promise I won’t let you down!”

She nearly smiled at him, but she forced it away. She wasn’t going to celebrate anything yet until there was solid evidence that he was telling the truth. But she wasn’t going to lie, this was the first time that Riley felt a glimmer of hope with finding Penny.

After so many months of disappointment.

So

Much

Disappointment.

.

.

.

Three Months Ago

Riley was on a mission, her knuckles white as she gripped onto the steering wheel of her car. It was barely a day since Penny was announced missing, and she wanted to confirm that the worst-case scenarios didn’t happen before focusing on anything else. Did she like what she was planning to do? No fucking way. But if it meant getting rid at least part of her worries, then it was worth it.

The car pulled up on a shoddy looking house, the white paint on the bricks fading into grey with chips cracking along the surface. From the windows it didn’t even seem like the place had been cleaned, with grease marks all over the window and what seemed to be a pile of dirty clothes from the corner. She jumped out the car, slamming the door shut before going up to the front of the house.

Riley hammered on the door, not ceasing until she heard an angered, “Alright!” from a male voice.

After the sound of a lock turning, the door opened, revealing a haggard man in a tank top stained with sweat. He seemed like he’d seen better days. Riley cringed at the scent of cigarettes on his breath, “Is David here?”

“Yeah, so?” the man shrugged.

She shoved past him, ignoring his cursing at her. The stronger scent of whiskey and smoke hit her all at once, like a gentlemen’s club that served only the strongest of liquors and lacked any type of windows for air. If the house already seemed messy on the outside, it was so much worse on the inside.

On the floor was more dirty laundry scattered about, dust was collecting on the furniture and there was a build up of unclean dishes nearly covering the kitchen surfaces and sink. In what was supposed to be the dining area, a group of men were huddled round a table, with opened cans of beer, cigarettes and each one was holding a handful on playing cards.

She ignored them, there was only one person – hopefully two – that she was looking for. “David!” she yelled, venturing into the hallway.

“Woah, woah!” one of the men stood up, “Who’s this bitch?!”

“Dunno,” the man from the door scratched his stomach, “Just came in here liked she owned the place.”

The second man scoffed, “Listen lady, I don’t know who you are but you’re a real cunt for interrupting our-”

He tried to reach out and grab Riley’s shoulder, only for the woman to whip back round and grab his arm. She twisted it behind her arm, smirking at his yelp of pain, “Or what? What would you do to a member of the FBI?” That seemed to scare the others off, the men sinking into their seats with Riley’s silent threat. “That’s what I thought.”

She let the man go as he staggered back to his seat. “David!” she went back into the hallway again, stepping over the piles of fabric on the ground.

A body came hurling towards her, but Riley was quick to react as she pushed the body to the wall, the back of head hitting the hard surface. She sighed, she found the idiot she was looking for, “David.”

The man came to, a delirious grin spreading across his face the moment he recognised her. “Well, well,” he drawled, the stench of beer hanging of his breath, “Fellas! This is my oldest, Riley!” He was drunk, obviously. But it didn’t make it hurt for Riley any less, “Come here kiddo!”

He tried to reach in for a hug, but Riley was quick to push him back against the wall with a growl, “Where’s Penny?”

“The fuck are you talking about?” he slurred.

Riley rolled her eyes, if he was playing dumb then she wasn’t going to risk it, “Didn’t you even at least here from the news? She’s missing. I figured that could be the only way you would find out since you like to pretend she doesn’t even exist.”

“Yeah I did,” he scoffed. “She ain’t here. Why would I drag her sorry ass out here?”

That stung more than it should have. His daughter went missing yet he treated it as though as he had a speck of lint on his shoulder. “Dunno,” she scowled, “You always wanted to make sure she was miserable as possible. Wanted to make sure that she wasn’t here.”

“Riley you gotta stop being dramatic,” David said, “It’s a bad habit you got from your mom. You guys always freak out over Penny.���

“Right,” she balled her hands into fists, “Her daughter and my sister went missing and no one can find her but sure. We’re being ‘dramatic’.” She walked away from him, she couldn’t stop searching yet. “Penny!”

She searched through each room of the house, even checking in the wardrobes. Maybe it wasn’t plausible, but that fearful section of her mind wouldn’t let go of that fear until it was confirmed that her father wasn’t a complete monster to her baby sister. He still was, and Riley would never forget that. She could still hear him trying to get her attention, trying to give her some sort of ‘apology’ (which mostly resulted in him trying to avoid any type of blame whatsoever).

Once she made sure she didn’t miss anything from the inside, she ventured back out, gulping in as much fresh air as she could in order to erase the stink of cheap booze and smoke. There was only one more place she wanted to look. She went over to David’s car, unsurprised to find it unlocked, and opened the trunk. Was it a stretch? Honestly, she could never tell with him. The way he treated Penny was enough to make her this fearful. She could feel relief swarm her when there was no one in there. Penny wasn’t here, that’s good.

Worry was quick to fill Riley again, then where was she?

“You’re really being paranoid Riles,” David muttered, stepping outside.

“I’m doing my job,” she spat at him, slamming the trunk closed.

“Don’t use that tone on me young lady,” he scolded, “I’m just trying to help.”

“Seriously? You decide now that you want to attempt at being my dad?” she snarled, “Because that stopped happening the moment you wanted nothing to do with me and Penny after she was born! You held a grudge over a fucking baby! And if you really want to help, you can get off your lazy ass and help Mom with the search parties or even pitch in any ideas to help find your daughter!”

“Come on Riley,” he groaned, “You know your sister has had her freakouts before. She’s probably having one of those after her little boyfriend dumped her.”

Riley grit her teeth, no one spoke about her Winter’s brother like that, “Jack didn’t dump her, he’s missing too. And you’re seriously calling what Penny went through ‘freakouts’? Especially that you’re the reason behind most of them? How fucking dare you?!”

“Oh come on, the car accident was years ago, you should be over this by now,” David crossed his arms. “It’s not my fault your mother was too lazy to pick up that little brat. It was my day off but Amber just had to be a bitch about it anyway.” Riley felt her fist balling up again, her veins raising to her wrist at the intensity. “And if I’m being honest, it’s probably a good thing that she’s missing! It’ll finally teach her to stop being so fucking selfish-”

Riley’s fist collided with David’s nose, sending him to the ground. He screamed as he clutched the now bleeding appendage. Riley flexed her fingers, that felt good. “That’s all I needed,” she muttered, “See you around David.”

She ignored his cries, opting to go round the side of the house to reach her car. She sighed the moment she shut the door behind her and started the engine, not bothering to look back at the dingy old house.

Riley hated him, she hated him so much. She hated that she shared his blood. She hated that he threw away the chance to be her father because of his own entitlement. She hated that he made her baby sister so afraid of being touched despite him not laying a hand on her. She hated how he spoke about her kind, sweet mother in the vilest ways possible. And she hated for wishing for the potential of the relationship they could have had.

She hated him she hated him she hated him sha hated him she hated him-

SHE HATED HIM

The tires of her car screeched to a halt on the empty road. Riley let out a blood-curdling, painful scream, banging her hands on the steering wheel. This always happened whenever she saw David, all the anguish and hurt he fed to her over the years coming full front and forcing their way into her heart.

But this time it was worse. This time Penny was gone. Riley had spent the last few days burying down the panic, the fear, the intrusive thoughts that plagued her mind. Now it was rising like bile in her throat.

A tear ran down her cheek as she pressed her forehead to the wheel.

She just wanted her baby sister back.

.

.

.

“Uh, Miss Riley? Are you okay?”

Riley snapped out of her gaze. She turned to face Samual’s brown eyes. Huh, there the exact same shade as Penny’s- No! Enough! She wasn’t going to get soft on him. Where was she again? Oh, right. After the information that Samual gave her, they had driven up to C&A to carry out the kid’s plan. Right now they were parked outside, with Riley just snapping out of her daydream. “I’m fine,” she murmured.

“You sure?” Samual asked, “We can wait a few minutes in case you need a breather-”

“-I’m fine!” she snapped at him, his eyes widening with panic. Riley sighed, she didn’t mean to snap at him, but right now was more tense than she ever believed she could be capable of. “Just tell me what you want us to do.”

“R-right, okay,” he fidgeted with his hands for a moments. “Um, so I’m able to tell them that you’re still working on Jack’s missing case. You know since he used to work here and all. Then I can take you to where I found the emails, I still have them hidden.”

The plan seemed plausible enough, and Riley was still working on Jack’s case so her boss wouldn’t have any complaints with her being here. “Okay, let’s get started,” she stated.

Samual nodded eagerly, already jumping out the car. Riley sighed, this kid’s energy was too difficult for her to catch up to. She followed him into the building, taking in the familiar site when she first started working on the case. She didn’t think she would get used to the size yet, she knew this company was popular but it was definitely noticeable with the size of this place.

Samual walked up to the desk, Riley already reaching into her pocket for her badge. “Donna,” he greeted the receptionist, “I’m here with Agent Reed from the FBI.”

“Sorry to disturb ma’am,” Riley spoke, holding up her badge. “But I had to come back here to make sure there wasn’t anything I missed for the Jack Blossom case.”

“Oh, uh,” the woman seemed startled, her eyes almost panicked. It already raised a few red flags for Riley. Sure Jack’s case was still going but C&A seemed to have their hands clean so far. This didn’t seem like a reaction for concern, but rather like a child having their hand stuck in a cookie jar.

“Yes, yes of course,” the receptionist finally answered, running a hand through her hair anxiously. “Go right ahead agent, do what you need to do.”

Riley gave her a brisk nod, with Samual leading her further into the building. When they reached the elevator and the doors were shut did Samual begin to grin again, “Woah! That was amazing! Is this what it feels like when you’re undercover? You’re all mysterious and secretive, it feels like being in a play!”

“Easy kid,” she put a hand on his shoulder.

“Right, right, sorry,” he panted a little bit from the excitement. “I’ll be calm. It’s just – so freaking cool!”

Riley rolled her eyes. And if there was a smile slowly quirking at the corner of her lips then she was quick to get rid of it.

With a small ‘ding’ of the elevator, the duo found themselves on the floor they were looking for. Samual led her down a few hallways before stumbling into some sort of office. Samual looked back and forth in the hallway before shutting the door between them. “Okay, this is the place where I started getting the messages,” he informed her, “I kept them on this computer to make sure that it was safe.”

Samual logged onto the monitor, scanning through each folder until he finally found what he was looking for. He clicked on the first file, an email detailing the start of a conversation.

Hello?

Is someone there?

Please

You can see this

Can’t you?

My name is Queenie

I need your help

“You see!” Samual pointed to the screen, “I told you.”

Riley felt her heart flutter a bit, hoping filling it once again. Samual clicked on another email.

You’re back!

Something is happening with the insects here

They’re acting strange

What did you find?

Don’t worry it’s gonna be okay!

We’ll find something

He clicked on a few more pages, each one detailing something similar. Both Samual and this ‘Queenie’ person were trying to find something, something that could somehow set this mystery person free from whatever prison they were in. Samual finally clicked on one more.

It’s all a simulation

Like a game

I remember the headset

I know that I had a life

I know that I am trapped in the amazing digital circus

Riley raised a brow at that, it sounded familiar, “The amazing digital-”

“Samual! What do you think you’re doing?!” a male voice thundered.

Both Riley and Samual jumped, turning to the source of the voice.

Samual gulped, “J-Jason.”

Jason Wood stood at the door, his arms crossed and his face holding nothing but fury, “Donna told me that you were bring an agent here so I rushed out of my meeting to deal with this nonsense. You better explain the meaning of this.”

“I-I, y-you, um,” Samual stuttered, the words not being able to form.

“I can explain sir,” Riley walked over. “It’s for the Jack Blossom case, I got in contact with Sam to see if he could help me out since he knew Jack before he went missing.”

Jason’s eyes furrowed more, looking past Riley to deepen his frightful gaze onto Samual. The boy felt and looked smaller than he ever did, wanting nothing more than to disappear. Jason walked past Riley and over to the computer, “What is this?”

“I-it’s just something to help with the case!” Samual said, “I only wanted to help, I promise!”

“Oh, Samual, not this again,” Jason computer.

Riley looked to Samual, again?

Jason looked back to Riley, pity drawn all over his face, “He did this when his parents disappeared. He created an imaginary version of them to talk to out of grief, the poor kid.”

“Well, kids need to find their own way to grieve, right?” Riley pointed out, dreading that this conversation wasn’t going where she thought it was going.

“Sure for kids,” Jason nodded, “But not for teenagers.” He turned back to Samual, “This is probably another one of his episodes. Last time this happened we had to admit him to the psych ward. I really hope this isn’t another one of these situations, it nearly broke me, his aunt and his uncle seeing him like that.”

A pit formed in Riley’s stomach. Of course she was being naive! The recent cases must have been making this kid act up again, and she only made it worse by selfishly indulging in it.

“No, no!” Samual yelled out. “That’s not true! Riley this isn’t true!”

“So you weren’t admitted to the psych ward?” Riley demanded.

“Yes but not for the reasons you think?!” Samual sniffled. “It was him!” he pointed at Jason, “I stepped out of line and he punished me for it! That’s what he does!”

Riley pressed her fingers to her temples, massaging them. How could I be such a fool? “I’m sorry for wasting your time Mr Wood,” she sighed, “I should get going.”

“That’s quite alright dear,” he smiled warmly.

“No, no, wait!” Samual cried out, chasing after Riley as she went back into the hallway. “Riley please believe me! Those emails were real! I can help you!”

“STOP!” Riley screamed, “Just stop! I can’t believe I was so stupid enough to trust what random kid had to say in order to find my sister!”

“It wasn’t a mistake, please!” he begged, “Riley I can help you! We can find her! We can find Jack! We can find my parents!”

“Enough!” Riley growled, “Enough. You need help Samual, I’m sorry for what you went through but this isn’t going to bring your parents back.”

“You think I haven’t gotten help?!” his voice broke, “You think I didn’t want help?! I had to threaten to leave C&A in order for Jason to let me go to therapy before he weaponised the psych ward in order to get me out the way! This isn’t a deranged theory, this is me finally asking for help after months and months of denying it because I was scared people didn’t believe me! You were the only person I could trust who wouldn’t betray me! Please Riley! Please stay!”

Riley closed her eyes. She couldn’t make the same mistake, “Goodbye Samual, have a nice life.”

With that, she turned on her heel and walked back to the elevator.

“Riley please!” she heard Samual sob. “I don’t want to be alone again!”

She walked into the elevator.

“Please! I can’t!” Tears were streaming down the boy’s cheeks.

Riley tried to ignore how much it reminded her how Penny used to cry for her as the elevator doors shut.

.

.

.

Seven hours should never feel this long!

Jax wanted to sob as the adventure finished up for the day. It was some sort of fast-food type of adventure, where he had to take multiple orders at once, get yelled at by an NPC manager, and wasn’t allowed to take a single break. Worst of all? He hadn’t seen Pomni once. It felt like some sort of crime to deny him of his fiancé’s beautiful face.

He laughed to himself, he wondered what the others would think of cruel, sarcastic Jax having such sappy thoughts about the love of his life. A few days ago, he would ignore these thoughts in order to keep up his act of the heartless joker. But now? He couldn’t care less. He loved Pomni and he wasn’t going to change that one bit. Not when he had been refused of her for so long.

Speaking of Pomni, she was currently talking to Gangle. The body of ribbons was held back by Ragatha while the former tried to give Pomni a hug, still clearly concerned for her after the pool incident the other day. Pomni smiled, stating that she was perfectly fine and that the masked lady didn’t need to worry.

Jax felt himself smiling. She was here, as hellish as today was, Pomni was all that mattered to him. He didn’t want to interrupt her yet, besides, the scene was quite funny to watch. Although it seemed to be only them and himself in the ring, he wondered where Zooble and Kinger…oh, right.

Kinger.

“Stop speaking to me as if you know me! You’re nothing but an insect-obsessed, stupid piece of wood who can barely remember his name!

He still remembered the sting of saying that. He wished he could take it back. He wished he took take a lot of things back. Before everything he thought he was fine. He was a prankster, sure, but he never wanted to be cruel like the people who hurt him. But here, without the memories, without something to lean on, without all he built after years of therapy – of course it would cause his scars to bleed again. But he shouldn’t have scarred others along the way.

Jax gulped as his eyes finally caught the chess piece talking with Zooble. He wanted to try and make this right. He walked up to the duo, “Hey hoo-haa, Zoobs. What dumb thing are you talking about now?” Seriously! You try and makes things right and this is how you start the conversation?!

“What do you want now Jax?” Zooble crossed their arms, already annoyed.

“I just wanna talk to the old royal over here for a sec, okay,” Jax replied, trying to seem his usual, casual self.

“Why? So you can kick him down another hole again?” Zooble questioned bitterly. “Yeah, I don’t think so.”

Jax looked to Kinger, the chess piece was avoiding eye contact with him. “Kinger, I wanted to say-”

“You don’t get to say anything!” Zooble growled, “Not after how you talked to him! Yeah, I overheard your conversation while I was giving Caine an earful! The f&*k did Kinger even do for you to say that?! He was just trying to help!”

“I know, I know!” Jax ran a hand over his face. “I know that I shouldn’t have said that I was scared and I lashed out. I didn’t think-”

“You don’t think at all Jax,” Kinger spoke softly. Both him and Zooble turning to face the chess piece. “You believe everything that you do here is just mindless fun for you. But every time you push us down, every time you call us names, every time you grin cruelly at us, we all remember it. But sometimes there’s a glimmer of hope in you, I saw it when you talked to me about - you know. And every time I see it, you always try to squash it, as though you’re afraid. As though it makes you brave to deny yourself the slightest chance of goodness, but it doesn’t…you’re a coward Jax.”

It felt as if all the air had been knocked out of Jax, he nearly stumbled on the spot. To hear that from Kinger, the only person he felt close to other than Queenie, brought him a shame that he never knew existed. “I…I really am sorry Kinger,” he said with all the sincerity he could muster.

Kinger sighed, “I wish I could believe that.” He pulled out a paper butterfly, red like the old cloak that Queenie used to wear. His eyes smiled softly at the familiarity. “But Queenie always had an eyes for the diamond in the rough. And I trust her more than anyone. I might forgive you, but not today.”

The chess piece’s eyes held the same wisdom as they did back when he and the rabbit built the fort together. A pair of years with decades of knowledge. But as soon as he blinked, he was back to normal old Kinger, “Oh look, a butterfly! That will be perfect for my collection.” He looked back up to the rabbit, “Oh hi Jax…bye Jax.”

With that, he turned away, leaving Jax starstruck again. Zooble gave him a final glare before walking away too. Jax sighed, while that conversation didn’t go the way he wanted it to, he wouldn’t lie and say that it wasn’t unrealistic. Of course Kinger wouldn’t forgive him right away, not after Jax had mistreated him and the others for so long. He felt a hand curl into his, he tightened his hold onto it.

“You okay?” Pomni asked.

He lifted his head to the side to face her, those beautiful and unique eyes already bringing him peace, “I will be.” His eyes scanned the room, everyone was gone. “Remember my promise with getting us out of here?”

Pomni nodded.

“I need to show you something,” he told her, guiding her back to his room.

He made sure the door was locked behind him, erasing the risk of getting caught. “I don’t show these to anyone else,” he said, walking over to a chest and pulling another key out. “But I think this might help with our situation.”

The lock of the chest clicked open, the lid falling back as a hundred of different golden keys were revealed. “Woah,” Pomni’s red and blue eyes widened, “That’s…that’s definitely a lot.”

“Yup, I told you I got keys everywhere here,” he smirked.

She nudged him slightly, “Could come in handy for us sometime.”

“Watch it little lady,” he snickered, his face falling serious again. “I’ve used these keys on every single door I could find but I haven’t found an exit. But with you here, maybe there’s a better chance of finding one.”

Pomni was lost in thought, taking out a singular key and fiddling with it in her hands. “Yeah,” she replied absentmindedly. “I think it might be closer than you think.”

Jax whipped his head round to her, “Come again?”

“Uh…” Pomni trailed off, realising that she had been speaking out loud. “So, remember when I said to Caine a while back that I stopped seeing exits doors? Well…”

Jax raised a brow at her.

Soon enough they were in her room, the chest of keys laying by the wall while both the rabbit and jester were pushing her wardrobe away from the other wall. Jax’s jaw dropped at what he saw once the wardrobe was pushed away. Right behind the piece of furniture was a bright red exit door, the green sign glowing above it. “It appeared here after my first dinner here,” she explained, “I tried to see what was behind it but all it led me to was another maze of weird office hallways.”

“Another?” Jax asked. “Wait, you really did see other exit doors when you arrived here?”

“Yeah, three times actually,” Pomni said. “The only time I went through one it led me to the maze I was talking about.”

“That’s…I,” Jax, for the first time here, was rendered speechless. He thought Pomni had arrived at the void some other way. But she really had seen exits doors and no one believed her, not even him. “There has to be a reason why you’re targeted. If it didn’t do this to us, why you?”

“I wish I knew,” Pomni glanced down, shuffling her feet.

“Hey, hey,” he took her chin into his palm, lifting her head up to face him. “Don’t feel bad, okay? Sorry, I didn’t mean to come off as harsh.” He stroked her cheek gently, “We’re gonna figure this out together, okay? And with our memories back we now have an advantage.”

Pomni sighed, leaning into his touch. It had been too long since she last felt his gentle touch, “Yeah, we do. We’re gonna get out of here.”

He pressed his forehead to hers, giving her a wink, “That’s my girl.”

They settled there for a few moments before Pomni turned away again to look at the keys. Jax wanted to be greedy and pull her back, but right now there was business to attend to. “You said you tried every key with every door, right?” she asked.

“Yup,” the rabbit nodded, “Yet it always never worked. They would either be a room that was part of the circus or would never unlock.”

Pomni hummed in curiosity, picking up another one, “Maybe…” she peered to the bright red door on her wall.

Jax followed her gaze, a grin playing on her lips at what she was implying, “Maybe what?”

She rolled her eyes at him, “Maybe it could work on an exit door?”

“God I love your brain,” he exclaimed.

“Phhh, by making a suggestion?” Pomni snorted.

“By making a smart suggestion, like you always do,” he corrected leaning into her face and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek.

“Okay mister,” she retorted, pushing him away with her index finger as the rabbit chortled. She looked down to the key in her palms, it had a circular end with four holes in the middle. This no doubt had to be Ragatha’s key. She looked back to her fiancé, “May I have the honours?”

“It would be my pleasure little lady,” he bowed dramatically.

Pomni huffed, pretending to be annoyed but didn’t force away the smile that tugged at her lips. She breathed out slowly, her breath slightly shaking as she did so. She slid the golden key into the hole, turning it once as they door clicked open.

Jax’s tail twitched with anticipation, awaiting what could possibly be behind it. Pomni reached up to the handle, twisting it and pulling the door open slowly. Her heart plummeted when the familiar office structure appeared again. She shut the door, “I’m sorry I got your hopes up.”

“No, no,” Jax’s voice was gentle as he took her hand. “You didn’t do anything wrong, okay? Let’s try two more, how does that sound?”

The jester bit her lip, nodding quietly in agreement. Jax pulled out two more keys from the chest, the first had the shape of some sort of castle on its end while the second had a jester hat – Pomni’s key. “You’ll probably need this back once we’re done,” he told her, referring to the object. “In case you need your privacy, I know how Caine can be.”

“Aw, honey,” she cooed. “You’re playing favourites.”

He flicked her nose, the jester rubbing it while giggling, “Yeah, yeah. You get your wife privileges.”

“I’m not your wife yet,” she retorted.

Jax grinned, “But soon you will be.”

She shook her head, placing the next key into the lock. She felt a twinge of disappointment when it led to the same grey hallway again. Pomni closed the door again, taking her own key from Jax’s paw, “Maybe third time’s the charm?”

Jax gave her a gentle smile, wanting to keep her as hopeful as possible. But both of them felt the intensity of the situation, if this didn’t work then another dead end was hit, then neither of them would know what to do. Please, please work.

She slid it in, the lock clicked, the door creaked open.

Pomni shut her eyes slightly, she didn’t want to be disappointed again.

“Oh my god,” she heard Jax gasp.

She peeked one eye open, then the other as they widened at what she saw.

It was a hospital room, void of the cold grey scale of the office hallway. The walls were a warm light brown with a lamp switched on by a bed, contrasting with the midnight sky from the window. Pomni’s breath hitched when she saw who was laying on the bed.

“Mom,” she whispered.

A younger Amber was sat up in the hospital bed, her red hair was messy and bags were under her eyes. But she looked so incredibly happy. Next to her was a glass case with holes and inside a little baby with brown curls wrapped up in a pink blanket slept.

“Is that…” Jax trailed off.

“Yeah,” Pomni felt her spirits lift ever so slightly when she looked at the date on the small clock next to the lamp. “That’s me. This was the day when I was born.”

She watched as the woman’s fingers trailed across the glass, marvelling at the tiny human inside. “Hi Penny,” she exhaled happily. “Welcome to the world. I can’t wait for Riley to see you, she’s been so excited to have a little sister. I don’t know where your daddy went but I’m sure he’ll be back soon. When you get better, we’re gonna have so much fun together.” A tear of mirth ran down Amber’s cheek, “Look at you, you’re perfect.”

Pomni felt a tear of her own escape as she watched the scene in front of her. She had been told about how her mother was glued to her side as a baby, watching her every move when the doctors told her how sick and weak she was. Amber had spent every waking moment making sure her daughter was healing. It wasn’t easy with a sickly newborn, an absent husband and a rowdy four-year-old, but she did it anyway.

“I miss her so much,” Pomni sniffled.

“Oh, Pen,” Jax wrapped his arms around the smaller woman’s body, pressing a chaste kiss at the back of her neck. “You’re gonna see her again, I promise.”

She turned and pressed her lips to his cheek, agreeing silently.

Another door creaked open, drawing the duo’s attention. It was the door of the hospital room opening, but instead of leading to a hallway, it seemed to be leading outside instead. The rabbit and jester shared a look before moving ahead, for them it was the most plausible thing to do.

The moment they stepped out, they had to squint from a beam of sunlight shining in their eyes. It seemed like they were in some sort of back garden, with real soft grass beneath their feet and fresh air filling their lungs. It made them feel human.

Pomni let out a shocked yet excited laugh when she saw what was in front of her, this wasn’t any ordinary back garden. It was the one where she grew up in where she and Riley would play when the sun was shining and dried up the rain. The ground was scattered with toys, with a trampoline at the right-hand side and a swing on the left.

She gasped, for on the swing was a girl about ten-years-old, wearing a long-sleeved pink shirt and purple overalls with white butterflies on the pockets, her brunette hair was short and ended by hair jaw as she stared out into the garden with her chocolate brown eyes. “T-that’s me!” Pomni said, startled. “I remember this!”

Jax was going to say something, his smile widening seeing the jester so happy when another voice cut him off.

“Marco!”

The little girl snickered at the new voice, jumping off the swing, “Polo!”

A girl around fourteen years of age, with red hair tied into a ponytail, ran into the garden, dropping a school bag in favour of chasing the younger of the two. Pomni pressed her hands to her mouth, “Riley.” 

The older girl snorted as the younger ran around the swing set, reaching out in order to grab her, “I’m gonna get you!”

“Nuh uh!” a younger Penny retorted, “You’re too slow Riles!”

“Oh, now you’re gonna get it!” Riley smirked, the two squealing as the chase continued.

Unfortunately it came to a halt when Penny tripped over a toy and landed on the concrete path leading to the house. Riley gasped, rushing over to her as the little girl picked herself up, her palms bloody and staining her skin. Fat tears ran down her cheeks as she began wailing, “Mommy!”

Riley wrapped her arms around her, rubbing her arm and rocking her slowly. Amber ran out of the door, kneeling down and gently taking her daughter’s hands, “Oh baby. Don’t worry, we’ll get these cleaned up.”

She scooped her youngest into her arms, walking back into the house.

“Mom I’m really sorry!” Riley panicked. “We were playing and she tripped, I should have kept a closer eye on her.”

“Riley, Riley, it’s okay,” Amber spoke calmly. “This was an accident, it’s not your fault, okay?” That didn’t seem to make the older girl feel any better. Amber hummed in thought, “How about you go get the bandages while I clean Penny’s hands, how does that sound?”

Riley nodded furiously, already running in and up the stairs. Pomni followed her mother and younger self into the kitchen, Jax tailing behind her. Amber sat Penny upon the countertop next to the kitchen sink, running the tap while Penny tried to gulp down her cries. “Oh Penny,” Amber ran her fingers under her daughter’s eyes, wiping away the tears. “We’ll get you fixed up, it’s alright baby.”

Penny shook her head, trying to quiet her crying as much as possible, “I-I’m being a b-baby! I n-need to be s-strong!”

“You’re not being a baby for getting hurt,” Amber’s brows furrowed, concern lacing her voice.

“B-but Daddy said t-that crying i-is w-weak,” Penny sniffled.

Amber inhaled sharply, her jaw tensing before slipping into her relaxed position again, “Your Daddy isn’t always right about a lot of things. This is one of them. Even the strongest people in the world need to cry Penny, never feel like you aren’t strong for doing so.”

Like a magnet, Penny clutched onto her mother, wrapping her arms round the tall women’s neck. Amber kissed the top of her child’s head, rubbing her hands up and down the little one’s back. There was probably blood on the back of her shirt, but she didn’t care, not when her child needed comfort. “How about we wash that blood off, okay?” Amber suggested.

Penny nodded against her shoulder, unwrapping her arms. Amber led her hands under the running water, Penny hissing at soon as the liquid touched her skin.

“I know baby, I know,” Amber ran her fingers through the child’s hair, “You’ll feel better soon, I promise.”

“I got the bandages!” Riley announced, running back into the kitchen.

“Perfect,” Amber switched off the tap once Penny’s hands were clean enough. She patted them dry with a towel and took the bandages from Riley. Slowly and carefully, she wrapped up each hand in the white gauze, finishing it off with a small bow on the top of each hand. “See, much better.”

Penny rubbed one last tear away, holding her hands out for her mother again, “Thank you Mommy.”

Amber cooed, picking her up and holding her close, “Always baby.” With a spare arm, Amber pulled Riley into the hug, rubbing the older girl’s shoulder, “Thank you for your help.”

Riley let out a trembling breath, burying her face into her mother’s shoulder, the woman holding her daughters in a vice grip as though they would disappear if she let go.

Pomni felt her stomach twist, Amber’s daughter did disappear. And her mother had no idea where she was.

Jax placed a hand on her shoulder, Pomni touched it as pressed her cheeks onto it, “It still hurts, knowing she doesn’t know where I am.”

“I know,” Jax agreed. “I know how much you mean to your mother. She’ll see you again, I know it.”

The back door creaked open like the hospital door did, this time is showed the inside of a living room.

Walking through, a wave of familiarity hit them both at once. It was their old apartment. Everything was the same, from the furniture to the wallpaper to even the starry mug that Penny loved to use all the time. Said mug was on the coffee table, steaming rising from the top.

Laughter broke the two out of their trance, for in the middle of the living room from was…them. Their human forms, engagement rings on their fingers as they danced while slow romantic music filled the room.

“Watch your speed!” Penny giggled, “I can barely keep up!”

Jack snickered, “Says you! You keep tripping over yourself!”

“It’s not my fault I have two left feet!” Penny retorted grinning.

Jack ran a hand over his face, another laugh escaping his mouth, “Imagine if we danced like this on our wedding day.”

“We’d certainly attract a crowd, that’s for sure,” Penny sighed wistfully, her arms curling round his neck, “How about we just settle for swaying?”

“Yeah, swaying sounds good,” Jack’s hands settled round her waist, the two moving from side to side. “I guess this isn’t so bad.”

Penny hummed in agreement, “Looks like our wedding dance won’t be a complete disaster after all.”

“It was never gonna be, I’ll make sure it will be the best day for you, promise,” Jack’s nose rubbed against hers, earning him another giggle.

Pomni looked up at Jax, the latter looking on longingly at their past selves. Life could have continued like this if he hadn’t been so selfish, so entitled, so cowardly…Kinger was right.

“Hey,” Pomni spoke up, it was his turn to listen to her. “It’s not your fault for what happened, okay? If you believe that we can get out of here, then so can I.”

Jax felt warmth spread about himself, this was why he loved Pomni so much. Despite her own fears and anxieties, when her kindness shone then it shone brightly. Many actions that she had done spoke loudly than any word she spoke. And if she couldn’t see how amazing she is, then he could do it for her. “You’re incredible, you know that right?” he said.

Pomni blushed, trying to hide behind her short hair, “Maybe.”

Jax chuckled, he never wanted her to change. The sound of another door creaking made them turn. Just like they did many times before, they walked through.

They were back in Amber’s house, though this time it had aged, they were in the living room instead, although furniture seemed more recent in memory than Pomni expected. “Is this ringing any bells?” Jax asked.

“No, no this doesn’t seem that familiar, aside from the room,” Pomni replied.

Footsteps entered the room. It was Amber, now older and more tired. Pomni watched as her mother sat on the sofa, there were bags under her eyes and dried tear stains on her cheeks. In her hands was a small pile of papers, Penny’s face printed on the very top and well as the words ‘MISSING’ written in bold black letters.

“This isn’t a memory,” Pomni murmured. “This is now.”

Jax let out a tiny gasp of realisation, they had come so far they were teetering on the border of the outside world, something that no one could possibly imagining happening in the circus!

But the circumstances weren’t as bright. Right now they were watching Amber mourn over her lost daughter, the one thing she feared the most.

Amber gripped onto the papers tighter, her lips quivering as more tears hit the posters. She let them go, each one scattering across the floor as she brought her hands up to cover her face, muffling her sobs.

Pomni’s heart twisted, she wished for nothing more than to reach out to her mother and engulf her in the biggest hug she can manage. “Mom, I’m here,” she spoke, “I’m okay.”

But nothing, it could be as though the wind had spoken. It was silence.

Pomni wanted to cry, to yell, to scream IM HERE. But it was pointless, wasn’t it?

The jester lifted her hand to a switched off lamp next to the sofa. When she was young, Amber would always turn on her bedside lamp, telling her that she would feel safe as long as that was on. Pomni’s fingers grazed the handle of the lamp, that was what she wanted for Amber, for her to feel safe like she did for her.

Without even realising, her fingers lightly pushed against the button, the pressure making it flicker on. Pomni jumped back, did she do that?!

Amber turned to the sudden light, sighing, “Lights are acting up, great.”

Pomni looked down at her hands, Amber couldn’t see her still. But what if…

She looked to Jax, the rabbit looking just as surprised as she did. He turned to the light switch on the wall, quickly moving towards it and flicking it on. Just like with Pomni, it shone throughout the room. He let out a strangled laugh, he could do it too!

Amber’s brows furrowed in confusion, “What is happening?”

Pomni held onto the lamp again, determination on her mind. She wasn’t going to leave until her mother knew that she was here and she was alive. She flicked the lamp on and off again, feeling guilty when Amber jumped in surprise. She did the same with another lamp on the chest of drawers at the side of the room, flicking it on and off while Jax did the same with the room light.

Amber whipped round, watching in shock as this bizarre event unfolded before her. She knew that lights had a habit of acting out, but never to this extent. “What’s going on?!” she exclaimed, “Is someone doing this?!”

Pomni bit her lip, she had to let Amber know that she was here. She scanned the room, trying to see if there was something, anything that could help. Her traveling eyes came to a stop when she spotted Amber’s computer tucked away into the corner, a printer next to it with missing posters on top of it. She must have moved it down here when making them.

Pomni rushed towards it, pressing the ‘on’ button and praying that her plan would work.

Amber yelped as she heard the sound of her computer switch on, panic rising in her chest.

The jester pressed a few keys on the keyboard, searching until she landed on a blank document, here goes nothing. And so, she began to type.

Mom

It’s me

Penny

Amber took a few steps back as her missing daughter’s name appeared on her screen, it felt like a horror movie unravelling in front of her. She let out a broken laugh, “Okay you got me! Whoever’s here better piss off with their sick joke before I call the police!”

Pomni winced, she had to keep trying.

It’s okay!

It’s Penny Mom!

You don’t need to be scared!

Amber shook her head, this had to be some sick joke. “My daughter’s missing!” she felt insane for talking back to the computer. “How could she be able to do this?! Whoever you are, you better show yourself!”

Pomni wracked her brain, she had to think of something, anything. A lightbulb went off in her head, she began to type again.

I was born on August 13th, 1999, at 11:59 PM

I was born too early so I had to be incubated at the hospital

On my fifth birthday you gave me a purple teddy bear and I named her Candy

You always sang ‘Silent Night’ to me to help me fall asleep even when it wasn’t Christmas

You brought a giant sign at Riley’s graduation saying ‘YOU’RE AN AGENT NOW RILEY’ when she completed her FBI training

Riley hates carrot cake but she always brings some for Winter whenever they go on dates

You took time off work just so you could help homeschool me when I left high school and helped me when I struggled to eat

I’m terrified of bees but I love butterflies

I hate the water, I always have

I always wanted to go into costume designing

When I finally felt confident in myself you asked me to make you a promise

I promised you that no matter what I am Penny Reed

I have a role in this world

I am worthy of greatness

And I have always mattered

Mom

It’s me

Amber’s breath hitched, nearly stumbling back a bit. No one could know something so personal about one person. Could it really be… “Penny?”

Pomni felt her own tears escape.

Hi Mom

Amber’s knees dropped to the ground, tears of relief and joy escaping. “Oh my baby!” she sobbed, “You’re here! Are you…Are you alive?”

Pomni sniffed, letting out a small laugh.

Yes Mom

I’m alive

Another cry tore from Amber’s throat, her daughter was alive. And somehow, she was here. “Penny where are you?” she asked, wiping away her tears. “What’s going on?”

It’s hard to explain

And I don’t know how long I can stay

“No, baby don’t go yet,” Amber begged. “Just stay, at least until Riley gets here.”

Jax’s ears twitched, a soft voice calling from the distance.

“Jax?”

“Pomni?”

He could recognise that voice from anywhere. Jax grasped Pomni’s shoulder, “Ragatha’s looking for us, we gotta go.”

Pomni was startled for a second, but she knew that he was serious. She turned back to her mother.

I’m sorry Mom

I have to go

“Penny please!” Amber panicked, “Don’t go!”

I’ll come back

I’m so sorry

But I’m okay

I promise

“Stay!” Amber cried, “Penny, stay!”

It felt as though Pomni’s heart was being ripped from her chest, but she couldn’t risk her or Jax’s safety. What if Caine was with Ragatha? Then they would really be in trouble.

She and Jax rushed to the door, the room outside of it reverting back to Jax’s bedroom. Pomni looked back to her sobbing mother, guilt stabbing at her. “I’ll be back soon,” she promised, even if Amber couldn’t hear her.

She forced herself to tear her eyes away and ran back into Jax’s bedroom, the rabbit closing the door behind her. “Hey,” he placed both of his hands on her shoulders, “I know that must have been really hard for you, but we can go back. We’re able to now, we finally have a chance to try and get out of here.”

“I just,” Pomni sniffled, “I just miss my Mom.”

Jax brought her into his arms, letting her cry out as much as she needed to. He wasn’t going to let go, never again. Both mother and daughter were terrified of this bizarre situation, the mother fearing that she would never see her child and the daughter wishing for her mother to hold her. Until they were back, Jax had to protect Pomni. It was serious now, bigger things were at play and everything was different. No matter what, her safety was his priority.

“Jax?” Ragatha knocked on the door. “Come on, open up please.”

Pomni let go, her eyes darting to the door with worry.

“It’s okay,” Jax reassured her, “Take the keys and hide behind the side of my bed, I’ll take care of doll face.”

Pomni looked to the keys and back at him, “O-okay.”

He kissed her forehead, stroking her cheek lightly before the two pulled away. Pomni picked up the chest, taking it and ducking behind the bedside while Jax pulled the wardrobe back over the exit door as silently as he could.

The door knocked again, he smoothed down the fur on his head I’m cool and collected, I’m cool and collected. Once he had slipped into his persona again, he opened the door. He gulped, apart from Caine and Bubble, everyone was there.

 “So, Rags,” he leaned against the side of the door. “How can I help you?”

“Pomni’s in there,” Ragatha crossed her arms over her chest. “Isn’t she?”

I’M COOL AND COLLECTED, I’M COOL AND COLLECTED! Jax’s tail twitched nervously as he let out a laugh that seemed fake even to him, “What? No, of course not!”

“I saw you go in her room a while ago,” Gangle mumbled. “I didn’t know if you were pulling a prank on her but I had to get the others just in case.”

“And imagine my panic when I found out the door was locked!” Ragatha growled. “You better explain yourself, Pomni better be okay!”

“Ragatha,” Pomni peered above the bed, jumping over it and made her way towards the door. “Don’t worry I’m fine-”

“Oh Pomni you’re okay!” Ragatha gasped, reaching out her hand to the jester. “Come here, what type of prank did he pull on you?”

Pomni surprised everyone when she jumped back, opting to stand beside Jax instead. “Ragatha,” she spoke softly, “You don’t have to worry, I’m completely fine. Jax didn’t do anything.”

“T-then why is he in your room?” the ragdoll asked. “You two have been acting strange for the past couple of days and we’re all getting worried, what’s going on?”

Pomni and Jax shared a look, a silent conversation between the two. Pomni, without breaking eyes contact, nudged her head towards the group. Sparing the others a glance, he looked back to Pomni with a nod.

“You guys come in,” Pomni said, opening the door wider. “There’s a lot you gotta know.”

.

.

.

This had to be the second time Riley was emotionally exhausted while driving back home, the first was when finding out Penny was missing. But her hopes had gone up too many times and had blind faith in someone who was hurting like she was, maybe even more. It was strange, everything Samual said felt true, but Jason Wood was a prominent figure who helped raise him after his parent’s disappearance, who was she to have a say in that situation?

Perhaps the wish to have her sister back was overtaking her logic. But now anymore, she was going to put her headfirst and figure this out the way she always did. Her phone began to ring in the cup holder next to her seat, it was Amber. She put the phone on speaker, keeping her eyes on the road, “Hey Mom, what’s up?”

“Riley!” Amber panted over the phone. “Riley you need to get here now!”

Riley practically kicked the break to stop the car, ignoring the other honking cars behind her as she pressed the phone to her ear, “Mom! Is everything ok?! What happened?!”

“It’s about your sister!” Amber blubbered. “You need to get here as soon as you can, please!”

Before Riley could say another word, the line was caught off. She pressed on the accelerator, her heart pounding. If her mother was speaking in that panicked and it involved her sister, she was going to drop everything and be there first thing.

The car skid to a stop when she arrived at her mother’s house, running to the door as fast as she could and slammed it open. “Mom!” Riley called out, “What happened?!”

Amber was collecting posters off the floor, dumping them down on the coffee table before pulling Riley inside. “Riley!” she gasped, “You won’t believe it! I know it sounds insane but I saw it happen in front of my eyes!”

“What? What did?!” Riley was starting to worry now. “Mom you’re scaring me, what does Penny have to do with this!”

“Everything!” Amber bellowed, a wide grin forming while more joyful tears leaked down her face. “Penny was here! She’s alive!”

The whole world went still for Riley, “Penny?! She’s alive?! Wait-wait, what do you mean ‘was here’?! Where is she?!”

“That’s the thing!” Amber pointed to the computer. “She wasn’t ‘here’ here, she was speaking to me through that!”

Riley’s palms began to sweat, this was beginning to sound familiar, “What do you mean by through the computer?”

“She wasn’t here in a physical sense, but she was messing with the lights, writing to me on that computer!” Amber exclaimed. “I don’t know how it’s possible and I know it sounds crazy, but your sister is alive! My daughter is alive! And she needs our help!”

Riley nearly staggered on the spot, Amber’s concerned calling for her name falling on deaf ears. Her mother wasn’t someone who spouted nonsense (that was more of David’s thing) and there was no way this type of situation could be a coincidence, it wasn’t something that anyone could make up on the spot.

She looked past Amber and to the screen behind her. Her breath hitched, on the screen was basically what Samual had showed her. Someone trying to communicate through anonymous messages with no email attached. Except this time it was different, this time it described parts of her life that no one else could know about, this time there was undeniable proof that someone was talking to her mother, this time there was a name.

Penny’s name.

Riley gasped.

Samual was telling the truth…and she pushed him away.

[thefrontofmymind]

Proof Positive 4

a/n: i know, i know. its been a little while. i've been a bit distracted but i'm getting back into it all

series masterlist

It felt like your life had lurched to a stop when Ross went away for tour. On one side of the coin, all your work you’d been doing for months leading up to this tour had finally been set in motion and now you were supposed to just move on to the next project, and then on the other side of it, you were without the father of your baby. A baby that had been making it so that you could hardly swallow anything other than water without feeling a constant wave of nausea, even then, that was difficult to stomach.

It was a hard goodbye. You two had spent every day together for the past six weeks, you didn’t realise how much you’d preemptively miss him. You had to say goodbye at his flat, to keep with the secret between you both–it was still so new, you couldn’t quite wrap your heads around what was really happening yet, so you couldn’t just tell everyone about you three yet.

Once he’d left you in his flat, you just cried. You probably cried just as much as when you found out you were pregnant. Though that was for fear, this was just pure desolation. You texted each other constantly but with the time difference, his constant travel, and you now having some serious fatigue that resulted in many naps, it was hard to keep consistent.

You had to go to your ultrasound alone. It wasn’t even until you were sitting in the waiting room that you got the fear that something could be terribly wrong and you would be alone to deal with it. Yes, you were pregnant, but there could be every chance in the world that something could be wrong with the baby and you wouldn’t be able to carry it. Or that it was all just a false alarm.

In a trick of fate, there was some emergency and your doctor was far behind schedule so you had all the time in the world to dwell on your anxiety. You watched the other people in the waiting room with you; a woman around your age, quite a bit further along than you, with the biggest rock you’d ever seen on her left hand, a woman holding hands with another much older than her, her hair may have been greying out but their smiles were identical. Looking around you’d never felt so alone. You’d tried to busy yourself by scrolling through your phone but nothing could distract you from the hat trick of your melancholy, your nausea, and the fluorescent lights giving you a migraine.

You’d never felt such relief as when a nurse fetched you from the waiting room and led you down the hall to the ultrasound room. You met the sonographer, and she explained what she was looking for, confirmed that you were around six weeks along, and it was time.

You tried to keep your eyes off the black screen, splattered with white splotches, you didn’t want to look, you didn’t want to jinx it at all. 

Until a pounding filled the room, and your heart just melted.

“There we are!” The sonographer said excitedly. “Baby was hiding from me for a bit there!”

Now you couldn’t take your eyes off the screen. Watching as measurements were taken of the little dot that was unmistakable on the screen.

“We’re looking good…” She said again, writing down a few notes on the pad next to her. “Can you see alright?”

You nodded. “Do you mind if I record a bit of it? The heartbeat?”

“By all means,” she smiled. “And I’ll make sure you get some printouts.”

“Thank you. The dad’s in South America for work and he was gutted to miss this…”

“There’ll be plenty more things he can join you for,” she answered.

You recorded a video as the sound echoed throughout the room. It was almost hypnotising, the beat over and over again. Each time you thought you’d gotten a handle on it, you could finally wrap your head around it all, you were surprised each time it just got more and more real. And you still had eight months left of this.

“Well that’s it for us today, I’ll send this all over to your OB, and I’ll get you to book in for another scan in about two…three weeks time so we can keep an eye on bub.” She gave you a tissue to wipe the gel off your abdomen. “And I’ve sent the photos to the printer in reception so just ask them for the photos.”

Walking out of the blue-tinted building, you were immediately on your phone. 

would you look at who has the best beating heart?? [video attachment]

You were only four hours ahead of him, it was mid-morning for him, he’d see it soon enough. And soon enough, he did. Merely a minute after it was sent, your phone began ringing, you answered it without even looking at the ID.

“Holy shit!” Ross laughed, which you returned. “I…don’t know what to say!”

“Same!” You giggled. “We’re having a baby!”

The giddiness between the both of you was palpable. You both giggled through your conversation–you told him about the appointment, all the things the sonographer told you, and he told you how the tour was going, every detail of every show so far.

You heard someone talking to Ross, before he said to you, “we have soundcheck, I’ll call you later though?”

“I have a meeting with Atlantic Records people at 4 so in like two hours, I’ll text you when it’s over.”

“Alright…love you.”

“Love you too.”

It was only as you put your phone back in your bag after hanging up that you realised what you both said to each other. You didn’t even think about it, it fell so naturally out of your mouth. There was no fear, no worry, just a warmth spread through your chest–combatting the gust of early April wind that was blowing against you.

You wondered what Ross was thinking, whether it was something he planned to say or if it was as much of an instinct as it was to you. You hoped he didn’t worry if you would say it back, because obviously you would’ve–and you did. You pictured him as giddy as you, trying to focus on his soundcheck and not let the rest of the band suspect anything.

You couldn’t think about it for too long, making your way to your office, you had to turn that whole part of your brain off. It was work time.

You were always grateful for the respect that you had at work. Though, you supposed, it came with the commitment you’d put in, being one of the first workers for Dirty Hit, and staying with them for close to a decade now, it was very well earnt.

You got through your day blocking out the excitement, the giddiness, the nausea. Only finally taking a breath in the refuge of your home. You checked the time, four hours back is…three in the afternoon. You pressed call on the contact of the man you loved.

“Hello?” You heard chatter through the other side of the phone when he answered, laughs and yells–nothing unexpected.

“It’s me,” you answered.

“Hold on,” he said without another word. You heard the noise get quieter. “How are you?”

You let out a huff. “I love you!” You said with a laugh.

You heard him chuckle. “I love you too!”

You didn’t think you’d ever get over the feeling. The exhilaration you were feeling every time you two spoke now. Even just the thought of him could make you blush now.

“I wanted to say it properly,” you said. “Was thinking about it all day.”

“Were you? Daydreaming about me while you’re supposed to be working…” He teased. “Remember you’re working for me!”

“Sure, if that’s the way you think it works…” you quipped, which he laughed at.

“Either way I. Love. You.” He emphasised each word.

Then there was another voice, muffled but still just a little audible if you focussed. “Who you love, huh?” Unmistakably Matty.

“None of your fucking business, mate,” Ross answered.

“Fine! Fine if you don’t want to tell us…” You heard Matty say. “But we’ll all find out eventually…”

“Oh I’m sure,” Ross said. You heard whatever door Matty entered through shut again before Ross turned his attention back to you. “Sorry about that.”

“You’re acting like I haven’t known Matty as long as I’ve known you. I know what I’m in for here!”

“Yeah.” He breathed a sigh of relief. “We need to tell them eventually though.”

“We still have time.”

It went without saying. We still have time to actually fathom what’s happening here.

“I know,” he said. “Hate to go but…I have to.”

“Alright, knock ‘em dead,” you answered. “Love you.”

You could practically hear his smile through the phone. “Love you too”