#Maybe talk to actual people with adhd?

[marmot-bee-person]

CNN 10 today had a story about ADHD and it was so annoying because i feel like they were taking a few bits of misinformation and blowing it way out of proportion. Also on Monday I had a teacher tell me that ADHD was a physical health issue and I said ‘I am perfectly alive and fine and not in any type of danger at all’

Her response? ‘Adhd keeps people from making good decisions’

[s0fter-sin]

soap's whole deal being sniper and demolitions gets me going bc on the surface they sound so different but when you get into it, you realise it's bc soap's smart

sniping is all math; calculating distances and wind interference and bullet drop. something i think people overlook is he was listed as a sniper first so it can be implied that he's better at it than demolitions. he does more sniping in both campaigns than demolitions work; in capture or kill, ghost specifically calls on him to take down the aq snipers

and demolitions is math with a hit of chemistry; knowing what mixes with what, knowing how much to use, recognising environmental factors and adjusting accordingly. it's not just about the boom; so much work goes into contained/ planned explosions. especially when having enough power for a breacher charge and not bringing down the whole building is the difference between mission success and failure

the chemical bombs he makes in alone can't just be any old cleaners, they have to have the correct reaction to each other; he just knew off the top of his head what would mix with what to create what reaction. he would also potentially have to recognise them by sight/smell bc they would’ve been written in spanish

soap would also have to know architecture; recognising structural integrity and weak points so he knows exactly where to plant a charge to bring it down and how it'll come down

he has an incredible soldier's mind people just forget that bc he's sociable which itself is a skill

we know he tends to buck against orders he doesn't agree with like when he pushes back against ghost in capture or kill and shepherd when he tells them to release hassan

he gets closer to people and sees if he can trust them and that's when he follows them without question. really think about how he talks to alejandro and rudy; he asks about their home and alejandro's family and rudy's relationship with him. those aren't questions you ask a stranger after a few hours of knowing them. that's not even touching on his relationship with ghost

he also deliberately brings people of higher ranks down to his level; talking informally with ghost and giving him a shoulder punch, addressing alejandro (a colonel!!) by his first name and rudy by his nickname despite literally just meeting them. he personalises all of them and it’s in direct opposition to the reason most characters do that; it’s not due to insubordination or lack of respect, the more he respects and trusts someone, the more casual he is with them

he digs into people; he wants to know what makes them tick and that determines if he can one, trust them and two, follow their orders. once he decides that, he's the ultimate soldier; he bleeds loyalty which makes him vicious when that loyalty is taken for granted

he isn't naive or bubbly or insecure; he's an incredibly smart and aware soldier. he's aggressive and bloodthirsty and loyal and intuitive and i love him so much

[contagious-watermelon]

am i the only one who feels like aspecs have started doing to "allo" what neurodivergent people have done to "neurotypical"

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

[rragnaroks]

i think i've healed enough to finally get past the embarrassment this first one brings me so here goes

Things That Should Have Made People Realise I Was Neurodivergent, But Didn't, Because I Was a Good Kid Who Didn't Cause No Trouble And Masked Like A Good Girl:

that time in second grade when the class was playing outside on a hot day, and a boy took off his shirt. no one yelled at him. i was also very hot. now of course no one saw my internal debate, and trying to suss out what would be socially acceptable by using logic, but i came to the conclusion that since I was 8 years old and was personally nowhere near starting puberty, it would be okay for me to take off my shirt too. i happily played shirtless for a while, although i could definitely feel the weird looks my classmates were giving me. i wasn't confident in my assessment but i was willing to defend my logic and position. i was right and if the others disagreed, they were the weird ones. a teacher passed by in a hurry and yelled at me to put my shirt on in a scandalised tone. she didn't yell at the boy. nothing further ever came of it.

[thateclecticbitch]

Request to move into basement failed. Sad.

[void-tiger]

Maybe it’s the “avoidant” part of my “fearful avoidance,” but. I really just…don’t care if someone I’m attracted to romantically likes someone else, or doesn’t share those feelings. Like, you do you. We’re not dating or owe eachother anything, and it all boils down to autonomy and compatibility, anyway. (And let’s face it, I don’t believe I’ll ever be compatible with anyone in terms of physical intimacy and I’m not able to compromise that without bruising my own boundaries, so.) But also like. I’d just. Turn attraction “off” if I could reach inside my head and flip a switch. Sadly humans aren’t that simple. Absolutely unfair.

Nah. What does get me into the Fearful instead (and struggling with that FA push-pull of “keep away/please don’t leave”): whether or not someone even wants to be my friend. Especially when I also accidentally developed attraction to them.

[relicsongmel]

Being a music-based synesthete with absolute pitch is wonderful but so frustrating because the vast majority of people have no context for the way I experience music and thus whenever I try to explain it it makes no sense to them. What do you mean you can't tell what color this song is. What do you mean you don't hear a Bb minor chord and feel your body react to it before your brain does. What do you mean you can't feel the warm sunbeams of D major dancing across your face. My world is filled with musical color but even if people think it's cool they will never really see it and it makes me sad

[fennthetalkingdog]

Oop, well it looks like my general Symptoms(TM) are messing with me doing Artfight again this year. But I kinda think it's interesting how they're doing it, in a way. I've already always had problems with not wanting to do anything forced on me, and since that also applies to things I force on myself, having only a month to do Artfight makes drawing feel like something I have to do and thus don't want to do anymore. But also I don't like change too, so going from drawing my own characters (which I know everything about and can draw without much thought) to drawing other people's (which I don't know as well) already requires a ton of motivation, PLUS the fact that I don't want to dishonor the characters I'm drawing makes it feel like I have to draw good art and makes me want to draw even less. And I've only just now realized this, but also constantly switching characters to draw once I've finished drawing one is a massive pain to my little brain because I want to get to know the character (and also switching takes energy out of me, go figure). And how did I figure this out? I gave myself the leeway to draw a character that seemed cool more than once and I felt better in a way that wasn't just "Awww, I made a bunch of cool drawings for this one character!" It felt like my brain wanted to be stuck on that little buddy, and for once instead of fighting the urge and feeling worse, I gave into it and actually let myself process the character more in general so that I can later "un-stick" myself and move on.

But luckily, it's seeming like it's not as hard as drawing was last year (since I got stuck on trying to make one drawing look "good" and ended up taking the whole month to finish it + procrastinate), so I'm feeling overall pretty good about this whole month! I've already drawn way more attacks than I did last year, which is already a win, but I'm also feeling more proud of my drawings than before too! And I'm also learning way more about how I work as a person just trying to do this! So I'm feeling really happy about my experiences this month in the future, if this is how I'm feeling just a week in! >:D

[ooc-miqojak]

People love to say they support neurodivergent people - but I've found that this is lip service, more often or not, because it requires a lot of patience - and the ability not to assume the worst about a person (especially in a digital space). Every ND person is unique, and has their quirks! But in an online space, I've found that people just tend to assume the worst about you, and kick you/block you/ghost you for your behavior or words, instead of taking the time to have an emotionally mature talk about what happened, and explain why this thing that happened/thing that was said was upsetting or problematic - you're never given the opportunity to explain that you meant no harm. Many of these people, in my case, I've spoken to at length when I was getting to know them about how important communication is - if I've said or done something upsetting, I can't read your mind! I have to know, before I can amend things, and adjust my behavior.

Sometimes I'm oblivious to what I've said/done, because my 'normal' is different. For instance, I love to debate - not argue - but debate. It's interesting to see others' POV! Variety is the spice of life after all, and if we all had the same beliefs and outlooks, that would be boring! But for some reason, most people seem to see a debate as an emotional argument? It's as though you can't disagree - not even respectfully - without people assuming you're angry or mad or attacking them. I don't understand people who get intensely emotionally invested in these debates (when they're not about typical hot button topics, as I don't do religious/political debates) - to me it's like a football player claiming someone on the opposing team was legitimately attacking them, not tackling them as a normal part of the game.

But I also don't engage in 'sub-text' as many neurotypicals do, either - to me, it's not only a waste of time, but a quick way to end up tangled in miscommunication. I say what I mean, and I tell people this... and they'll still apply some hidden meaning to it that is entirely fabricated... then get angry at me for sub-text that isn't really there. (When I was reprimanded in an online space earlier this year, I kept asking what I did wrong... and got told that I was arguing by asking what I was being scolded for/why I was being condescended to.)

ADHD people are regularly called 'passionate' - so much so that I almost want to roll my eyes when I hear it, now... but it remains a decent word to explain, for neurotypical people, our seemingly 'over the top' behaviors - be they positive or negative. And I've had people online assume I'm mad, or attacking them... when I'm just excited... or "passionate." Emotional dysregulation can be hell - some compare it to a car with no brakes. Normal people apply the brakes before the words come out - ADHDers lack those brakes. It means I try to be hyper aware, instead, and apply the Fred Flinstone brakes. I don't always catch myself, either - and in-person/on voice chat, this can result in things that seem rude - like interrupting others; but this isn't meant to be rude, and I don't realize I've done it! I'm excitable, and with the way ADHD works, I feel as though I have to get this comment out before I forget it! If I have to hold onto this thought, I'll either forget it, or spend the entire time the other person is talking trying to hold onto that thought, and miss what's said. But other people just tend to assume I'm being rude by interrupting - so I told a friend I upset this way that he's allowed to notify me in some manner when I've done this - because I don't want to be rude! I don't want to steamroll a conversation - and sometimes I need a gentle reminder that I've done so. I often jokingly compare myself to a jumpy golden retriever - I love people! But no one really wants a big dog jumping all over them, even if the dog means well - sometimes you have to say 'down', and the dog will stop jumping! They just forgot not to do this unwanted behavior because they were so excited!

Emotional dysregulation to me is like my emotions are a volume dial on a radio that was cranked way too high, and the dial broke off. The volume is permanently too loud - which is great when I'm happy, and devastating when I'm sad. But I don't get to turn them down, either way - the volume is stuck at max.

So yeah, sometimes people online need a little grace - a little patience, and for others not to jump to the worst possible assumption. Your normal isn't the same as everyone else's normal, and you might have to take extra time to understand where someone is coming from, and what they meant. Sometimes you might need to explain something that seems obvious to you, but it isn't to someone else. Sometimes that 'rude' thing that happened wasn't at all intended to be upsetting/rude, and talking to the person who said/did that thing can clear the air, and they can apologize and note that this is something they should not do or say, or that they should be more aware of.

Sometimes, the dog is just jumpy and excitable - not aggressive.

[theflannelwizard]

Oops, I lied about sending all my questions in one, I thought of an actually specific question and not just a super general one five seconds after sending the ask:

Do you have any neurodivergent hcs for Buster and Gob(or other characters if you hc anyone else as neurodivergent)?

This is such a good question!! Okay!! It got long so I'm putting it under the cut, but TLDR: undiagnosed comorbid autistm and ADHD for both of them plus ADHD Tony Wonder :) I forced myself not to get into it with the rest of the Bluths cause this post would be a mile long but i did put cursory thoughts about them in the tags. All of this is spitballing and I'm definitely open to hearing other opinions!

Whatever is going on with Buster’s brain is the same thing that’s going on with my brain, so most likely ADHD and/or autism but DEFINITELY undiagnosed. None of the Bluths have the diagnoses they need and if someone (Tobias) tries to so much as allude to them being neurodivergent in front of George Sr. and/or Lucille it gets shut down immediately.

Anyway Buster reads more autistic than ADHD to me but it could be either or both. He has trouble reading other people’s emotions and regulating his own, he’s “strange” and “childish” in ways that are direct responses to how he was raised but also just read as neurodivergent, he’s got safe foods and takes things literally and has no clue how to read social cues and stims and gestures vaguely at all of him is just so very ND. Also the thing with ADHD-havers being randomly struck with bouts of guilt or self loathing? I think that’s him. ADHD was recently reclassified as an anxiety disorder, too, which we know full well is Buster, and it would not surprise me if his panic and anxiety attacks were brought on by sensory overload and RSD and other ADHD things at least some of the time.

As for GOB, I think he’s got the same deal but he reads more ADHD than autistic. I think they both have both but it presents differently in each of them. I’m fully on board with both magic and bees being special interests for that man, and he also just moves and talks and interacts with people in a very neurodivergent way. The stuttering when he’s overwhelmed is, to me, adjacent to (if not straight up being) him going nonverbal. He definitely has RSD too, look at how devastated he is when anyone rejects him ever. And I wouldn’t be surprised if he was bipolar, getting manic when he’s really into a project and then falling into depression for weeks or months at a time.

And, just as a bonus, I think Tony Wonder has ADHD. He recognizes it in GOB and helps him with learn to function in a healthier happier way and his siblings are so confused cause GOB just magically started getting more normal?? Except it’s not magic (and it’s not an illusion lmao) it’s just coping mechanisms. Tony’s been collecting them from various therapists for like 30 years. He has no clue how anyone in this family thinks they’re neurotypical.

[volivolition]

[guy with chronic pain voice] i should draw pain threshold

[chillllii]

when the audhd is fun until you become "i really really really have to give my input/side/idea and i dont give a fuck who's talking or what everyone was initially talking about" and before this site's illiteracy kicks in i'm certain we're all guilty of this to some extent

[magioffire]

remember when i thought i didnt have adhd because when i took adhd meds i thought i was ‘getting high’ off of it and always heard that if you ‘got high’ off adhd meds it meant you definitely didnt have adhd

well that feeling of ‘getting high’ was actually me misinterpreting the euphoria of finally having a more normalish brain function and being able to be productive as a euphoric effect of amphetamine and not the functional level everyone without adhd normally exists at all the time lol.

[squiglylines]

Some essays I feel I can absolutely write as an ADHD/autistic diagnosed in my mid-twenties:

how to make friends in real life (I actually did write a guide for a friend starting university and very anxious about it)

How to make friends online & general accepted online etiquette

Expanded "how to make friends irl" for different settings: school/university, work, out and about daily life, and even if you don't feel you have much opportunity to meet new people.

Some general and adaptable social scripts for: necessary but scary phone calls, family gatherings, wanting to start or stop a social interaction when you're not sure how, etc.

Something I feel like I can help with but don't feel comfortable claiming authority in - how to approach your parents about mental illness/neurodiversity in order to start a constructive dialogue (my knowledge applies only to parents who feel something may be wrong and want to help beyond changing behaviors they are frustrated or worried about)

Something I do feel more confident about is helping parents of the above category open up a constructive dialogue with kids with mental illness/neurodiversity. Again stressing I'm not a professional but I have personal experience and some experience with other people on both sides of this dialogue.

Some tips on how to ask for help when you feel like you have an untreated issue but don't know who or how to talk about it

And now for something completely different and another one I actually started writing - a guide to creating and maintaining an offline fic library. Doing this saved me some heartbreaks in the past over deleted fics and also I may be slightly paranoid about digital data security but that's a whole other rant.

a guide to commenting positively on fics and art. there are some fantastic guides and tips out there already but I have some thoughts of my own to add about ways to get started, finding ways to verbalize your thoughts, and tips for making sure your comment is indeed positive.

These last ideas I don't feel I have enough grasp of to actually write something that would be helpful for people who don't share my brain, but one day I might write: tips for drawing/painting when you have "can't-see-the-forest-for-the-trees" type brain wiring, and tips for dealing with perfectionism *especially* when you have a history of achieving perfect-ish results (is this what people refer to as gifted child syndrome?)

Anyway if you have any interest in any of these topics I have lectures rants locked and loaded that I would love to share.

[taikk0]

JUST SAYING ONCE I LEARN TO PRONOUNCE MY T'S PROPERLY ITS OVER FOR YOU BUTTNUGGETS