#Mobei-jun says yes anyway

[incorrectly-quoting-mxtx]

Shang Qinghua: Hey, just curious, totally hypothetical question here - if we got married, would I get diplomatic immunity?

Mobei-Jun: What did you do.

Shang Qinghua:

Shang Qinghua: On a completely unrelated note, will you marry me?

Mobei-Jun: WHAT DID YOU DO?!

[tcfactory]

Today I remembered that Mobei-Jun is roughly the same age-range - possibly even a little younger - than the Qing Peak Lords.

[2400 words, smol bean Mobei and big bro Yue Qi traipsing through the countryside to rescue Xiao Jiu]

So please imagine young Mobei Wu, approximately ten years old, stranded in the human realm after yet another of his uncle's murder attempts and too tired or not yet skilled enough to portal back from one realm to the other without a tear in reality to capitalize on.

And instead of Huan Hua cultivators or any other danger, he stumbles into Yue Qi. Yue Qi who is about fifteen, just got out of the cave and is on the way to try and rescue his Xiao Jiu. Yue Qi would never hurt a child smaller than him, not even a demon one. Especially not one that admits, after some careful coaxing with smiles and sweet treats, that it's his uncle who's trying to kill him. Yue Qi can't imagine someone wanting to harm a child who places their trust in him, anyway please call him Qi-ge. What's your name, little one? All right, A-Wu, not so little. (He is very little. Yue Qi is very tall for his age, but this demon is objectively tiny and maybe a little malnourished too.) What a coincidence, they are both named after numbers. Do you want Qi-ge to carry you for a bit?

Yue Qi figures that the least he can do is look out for this kid until he can go home - A-Wu is very reluctant about specifying what's preventing him from leaving right now, but Yue Qi knows it's best not to push a boy that age - so they travel together for a while. He sticks cooling talismans on the inside of the little demon's shirt to prevent him from overheating or stripping off his (already too few, by the standards of human decency) layers, so for most of the journey he's carrying a halfway dozing little snowball of a child like a backpack. Yue Qi tells him all about Xiao Jiu, bolstered by the little hums Mobei Wu makes to show that he's paying attention.

"Where did you get the scars?"

Yue Qi stops mid-sentence and peers hesitantly back over his shoulder, meeting a pair of incredibly vivid blue eyes. "Scars?" It could be that A-Wu noticed the fading slave mark on his neck.

"En. I can feel them all over." So not the slave mark, then.

"Even through my robes?"

"En. They feel... spicy. Wrong." He crunches up his face as he tries to find the right word. "Like lightning."

It could only be the scars etched over his meridians, still overflowing with unstable qi. Yue Qi hesitates, but figures that demon tales are probably much more gruesome than what happened to him, so he tells A-Wu everything - the sword, the cave, the dark, all of it. It's a relief to put the nightmare into words, even if his audience is a precocious demon child who looks at him with big sparkling eyes like he's telling a tale of glory or great adventure.

"Cool. All for your... Jiu?"

"Yes." Mobei Wu seems to approve greatly of that.

"You are cool. I will help you."

It makes Yue Qi smile. Such a shame this kid will likely grow up to be something bloodthirsty eventually. He's really too cute right now.

----------

Qiu manor is gone, burned to ash, and Xiao Jiu likely ash along with it. Yue Qi's world is coming down around his ears and he can't even hear what the kindly old merchant is telling him about the incident. It's only when A-Wu tugs on his sleeve when the world comes back to focus.

"They found no dead boy. Only dead men. He can still live."

True, he can't give up hope just yet. What Mobei Wu says is really logical - but where could Xiao Jiu go from here?

The old lady finally notices the unnaturally blue tint of Mobei Wu's skin and takes a fearful step back. "...Demon?"

"No!" Yue Qi steps between them quickly, shielding the boy with his body. "My little brother just ate a cursed fruit, that's all! It will wear off in a day or two."

He's been trying to live a righteous life since he joined the sect, but to someone like him lying comes as easy as breathing.

"Oh, that's all right, then. I thought you might be like that horrible demonic cultivator who lurked here before."

The mention of a cultivator - even a demonic one - makes Yue Qi perk up. He makes some careful questions, about the fire and when they last saw the demonic cultivator in the area, where he might have left for, whether he had someone with him... By the time he says his thank yous he's certain of it: if Xiao Jiu lives, he is with this Wu Yanzi.

They regroup on the edge of the city, where Yue Qi hands Mobei Wu a stick of tanghulu and rolls out a map to figure out where the demonic cultivator could be if he's traveling on foot with a teenager in tow. The demon is fascinated by the map, asking all sorts of questions about distances and directions in as few words as possible, his face scrunched up in another frown.

"We should probably get you home before I go after Xiao Jiu," Yue Qi says with a sigh, circling the most likely area. "We are a week behind them and I can't fly by sword yet. I will need to buy a horse or catch a cart if I want to catch up to them."

Mobei Wu growls, then looks up from the map, wiping a sticky hand on his shirt before he points east. "That way?"

"Yes, I think so." Before Yue Qi can ask anything, the ground opens up beneath him and he's falling through a cold, dark void.

It doesn't last long. He lands in a lake with a huge splash, just outside of one of the cities halfway to their goal. Mobei lands on top of the water - did he flash freeze it? Such a cool kiddo - with the map safely held in his arms and a very, very smug little smile.

"So, were you aiming for the water on purpose?" Yue Qi asks some time later as he tries to dry his clothes with a fire talisman.

"En. You count distances differently than we do." It's a big lake, allowing a bigger margin of error than portaling straight into the city and getting stuck in a building, probably.

"Smart."

"En." Smug little thing. When he's smirking like that he looks almost like Xiao Jiu.

"How far can you go?"

Mobei seems to think this through, his eyebrows pinched together as he calculates from whatever metric the demons use. "2000."

"2000 bu?" That was a good distance. They could easily catch up to them with that kind of skill, even if Wu Yanzi and Xiao Jiu haven't lingered anywhere on the way.

"Li." Yue Qi chokes on air as he tries to comprehend that distance, but thankfully Xiao Wu doesn't seem to take note of it. "But only in one realm. And only after I eat."

"We'll find you something nice to eat then. What would you like?"

"Meat." A-Wu's smile widens, showing sharp teeth.

"Let's get you some dumplings then. Sounds good?" A-Wu considers it for a long time before he nods.

"En."

Having a teleporting little rascal with him really speeds up the search, even if keeping up with A-Wu's appetite is eating (heh) into his travel funds. Whatever ancestral magic this is, it takes a lot out of the kid, leaving him endearingly dazed and sleepy between jumps. They quickly establish a cover story: the demonic cultivator cursed Yue Qi's little brother to look like a demon, so he's hunting the man to force him to undo the curse. A good sob story always makes people so much more willing to cooperate, especially when it involves a cute child and Mobei Wu is, objectively speaking, cute as a button. Old grannies and grandfathers ooh and aah over him and are quick to point them towards Wu Yanzi's trail.

In the end, they find them much sooner than Yue Qi expects. They walk into a shady looking inn on the edge of a small town and he immediately spots Xiao Jiu, hunkered down in the shadow of a scarred man with a dark mane of hair.

Their eyes meet and everything becomes a blur for a while, his awareness narrowed down to Xiao Jiu. Yue Qi hold him close and murmurs nonsense reassurances into his hair - he's never letting Xiao Jiu go ever again.

Even through the happy fog of the reunion, the sound of a sword being drawn is unmistakable. "Where do you think you are taking my disciple?" Wu Yanzi asks, eyes narrowed. Xiao Jiu spins around, to yell or to fight, Yue Qi will never know, because A-Wu chooses that moment to open another portal and whisk them away. He's getting very used to the feeling of suddenly falling through a frigid void.

It's another lake, this time somewhere much further away. "Xiao Wu, you need to stop opening those underneath people," Yue Qi scolds the unrepentant demon child as he drags the angrily splashing Xiao Jiu to the shore.

There are questions and answers, tears and hugs and no small amount of yelling. They strip their wet clothes off so it's impossible to hide his scars, stark red lines all over his skin, and in the face of Xiao Jiu's anger he caves and tells him everything. While they talk Mobei Wu falls asleep curled up on Yue Qi's miraculously dry bedroll and when they are done they curl around him from both sides too, shielding their precious little helper from the elements.

When the wake up in the morning the child is gone, as if he was never there. He has left behind a string with two beads, cool to the touch from familiar chilly qi.

"A token of thanks? One bead for each of us." Yue Qi suggests.

"Don't be ridiculous. As if a little demon would thank a cultivator for anything," Xiao Jiu scoffs, but he takes one of the beads anyway.

"I hope he gets home safe."

"Think about whether we get home or not! Stupid, soft-hearted Qi-ge. Do we even know how far away we are from your sect?"

Yue Qi can't help but beam down at him, fully aware that he's smiling the awkward, lopsided smile he trained himself out of because his shizun found it unattractive. He missed his thorny Xiao Jiu.

"You are right. Let's go home."

----------

Years later, Sect Leader Yue follows indulgently after his favorite shidi, Shen Jiu deep in the middle of a rant.

"If you are worried about Shang-shidi's safety, you are allowed to say so, shidi," he cuts in with practiced ease.

"Who's worried for that shifty vermin?! I worry for the sect! There is something going on with him and I suspect a security breach." Shen Qingqiu practically kicks down the door of the leisure house, startling the man inside into jumping and dropping the armful of books he was holding. "'Shang-shidi, we need to talk."

"Shen-shixiong, Zhangmen-shixiong, this is not a good time. I'm actually really quite busy..."

"Make time for us."

Yue Qingyuan indulgently follows Shen Jiu inside, noting that Shang Qinghua's eyes keep flickering all over the room, everywhere except towards the closed door of his bedroom. Highly suspicious.

Shang Qinghua is still stammering out excuses and making pleading eyes at Yue Qingyuan to please make his shidi go away. Yue Qingyuan lets him squirm for a few minutes before he interrupts, with his kindest smile.

"Shidi, we are simply worried for your health. Your head disciple reported that you have showed up with more bruises than usual."

Shang Qinghua mumbles something that sounds suspiciously like 'traitor'.

"Shidi," Yue Qingyuan tries again. "You know that you can trust us. I promise that you are not in trouble." Shen Qingqiu huffs, but refrains from commenting when Yue Qingyuan sends him a look. "Please, allow us to..."

A lot of things happen all at once. The bead Yue Qingyuan wears on a simple string around his neck turns so cold it almost burns, and based on the low hiss coming from Shen Jiu the same thing is happening to his. Ice climbs up the walls and the door, blocking their way out of the house. The door to the bedroom is kicked open and good gods that's a very big, very muscular ice demon staring at them with very bright blue eyes.

"My king?" Shang Qinghua squeaks, his eyes bouncing between the ice demon and his two shixiongs in alarm.

The demon ducks into the room and stalks towards them, every step spreading the ice further. There is something familiar in his face, but Yue Qingyuan is much more occupied by the sight of really quite a lot of uncovered skin and the many, many freshly treated cuts all over him.

Finally, he stops just outside of sword range and almost hesitantly rumbles: "Qi-ge?"

Oh. So that's why he was so familiar. He smiles up at Mobei Wu. "It seems I really can't call you 'Xiao Wu' anymore, can I?"

Mobei Wu huffs, the corner of his mouth lifting in something that could be a smile, and the ice encroaching on the room starts melting. "Mobei-Jun." He raises his hands in a salute. "Nominally, for now. Since yesterday."

He can tell the exact moment when Shen Jiu connects the dots - that the little teleporting rascal that helped Yue Qi track him down through half the countryside is now the Northern Demon King. His carefully cultivated mask cracks and he collapses next to the tea table with a wordless sound of outrage. "Shang Qinghua!"

Their shidi startles, once again dropping the books he just started picking back up.

"Yes, Shen-shixiong?"

"Be a good host and make us tea. And then explain how this,-" With his closed fan he gestures between Mobei-Jun and Shang Qinghua. "- happened."

"It's a long story," Mobei-Jun supplies, taking place next to the table and sprawling in a decadent, demonic fashion.

"That's all right." Yue Qingyuan joins them, briefly running his hand down Shen Qingqiu's tense back to soothe him. "We have the time to listen."

It's an unexpected reunion, but not necessarily a bad one. Xiao Wu was a good kid and when he looks carefully he can still see him in Mobei-Jun, despite the years of stoic frost that settled over his features.

There are much worse allies one could have than the Prodigious Demon King of the Northern Realm.

[ineffectualdemon]

PIDW Mobing:

Someone definitely tells Bingge to "call of his dog" referring to Mobei and it comes with all the homoeroticism that implies

Their fight scene for dominance when Mobei swore loyalty was also homoerotically charged

Bingge plays with Mobei's hair while threatening people

This definitely has happened at some point in the PIDW universe if not explicitly in the webnovel though I wouldn't put it past Airplane.:

"Mobei?" Luo Binghe calls, leaning away from the wife his arm is wrapped around to gently curl those dark tresses around his fingers. The back of his warm fingers grazing against cold skin.

A slight huff of amusement hangs between them as startling blue eyes meet red.

"Yes Junshang?" The title is said respectfully if you do not know how to read Mobei Jun and the tiny expressions he makes. To Luo Binghe he sees the exasperation and almost fondness. It is not the simpering adoration of his wives but rather the shared amusement between two people who in another life, could have been equals.

But here and now one is owned and knows it. Even so, his master likes to remind him of his place.

Luo Binghe could not resist tugging on the hair caught between his claws, drawing a resigned, but obedient, Mobei to lean closer.

"Be a treasure," a loaded phrase for Luo Binghe to drawl in shared company and he enjoys the sharp look that gets him.

"Kill him for me?"

The hair is allowed to slip from his fingers even though the real leash is kept tight.

"Yes Junshang" Mobei Jun says before doing what is asked.

Just like he always did.

So loyal.

So obedient.

That's why dogs are better than wives.

Canon SVSSS Luo Bing-mei and Mobei Jun:

Luo Binghe: attack!

Mobei Jun: But I have. A lot. I'm tired. I want a little break :( You do it.

Luo Binghe: ok...do something??

Mobei Jun: my hamster needs exercise so I will send him out. Shang Qinghua! I choose you! ...ah look! He's playing! I knew he needed more exercise!

Luo Binghe: ....Shizun better show up soon. My subordinate's love life depresses me :(

AND

Luo Binghe: how do I get a boy to like me? :(

Mobei Jun: kick his ass

Luo Binghe: please don't say words

Anyway that's why I can only get into OG!Binghe and OG!Mobei for Mobing and not SVSSS versions

[horsegirlwarcrimes]

I am SO curious about the SQH Burnout Fic 🙇🏽‍♀️🙇🏽‍♀️🙇🏽‍♀️ i beg <333

i have a bad habit of writing a new sickfic to cope every time i feel unwell 😂 this one is SQH gets anxious about the future, overworks himself, and gets pneumonia. excerpt from near the end of the fic, which i wrote first for some reason?

Shang Qinghua isn’t sure what makes him aware of the change in the room. A shift in the air, a sound, maybe just the slightest drop in temperature. He blinks, sleepy and bleary, at the pages of the novel he was failing to read, feeling warm and syrupy from whatever was in the medicine Mu Qingfang was dosing him with. “My king?” Mobei-jun steps from the shadows silently, and comes to sit at the edge of his bed. He’s dressed down, unarmored— just soft silk robes and simple boots, no weapons or jewelry save a pendant around his neck. Shang Qinghua recognizes it as one he gave his king when he was still a disciple, some ridiculous one-of-a-kind protection artifact that he’d known to snatch out of a crumbling temple thanks to special author knowledge, about forty years before it was going to become plot relevant. He hadn’t realizes that Mobei-jun still had it. Had he been wearing it all this time? Mobei-jun’s cold claw-tips brush through his bangs. “Shang Qinghua,” he says, rumbling and familiar. Shang Qinghua blinks up at him. “My king,” he repeats. And, suddenly struck by the memory of exactly what position(s?) the king of the Northern Desert last saw him in, feels his face heat in a way that has nothing to do with any lingering fever. “My king! I’m so—” Mobei-jun halts him with a raised hand. “You are recovering?” “Yes, my king,” Shang Qinghua says. “I’m doing much better already.” “Good.” Mobei-jun pulls over the chair that Shen Qingqiu was sitting in earlier. The sight of his hulking form dragging over and delicately maneuvering into the small chair sparks something warmer than amusement in Shang Qinghua’s chest. “This king… must apologize.” Shang Qinghua’s gaze jerks up. “W-what?” “You were sick. Humans are weakened by the cold. I allowed you to stay and work in the North anyways, and missed the signs of your ill health. Qinghua could have died.” “But I didn’t. I wouldn’t have! My king, I was just sick, it wasn’t… as bad as all that. I’m a cultivator, it takes more than some cold weather to take me out.” He gives an awkward laugh. “It does take more than the cold. Qinghua was overworking himself, and was hiding from this king.” “But I overwork myself all the time,” Shang Qinghua says, the words coming out more earnestly than he means them to. He drops the book and wraps his arms around himself, looking away. “I’ve been working like this since I was a disciple. I don’t understand what’s changed. I should have just felt bad for a little bit and then dealt with it and gotten better. It shouldn’t have been such a big deal.” “I am sorry,” Mobei-jun repeats. He runs his fingers through Shang Qinghua’s loose hair again, and Shang Qinghua leans tiredly into the touch. “I… regret. The part I played in not allowing Qinghua to rest. Then, and now.” Shang Qinghua’s face feels hot. He scrubs at his eyes, the feeling only intensifying as Mobei-jun continues to run his cold hands through his hair, his claws pleasantly scraping against his scalp, the touch comforting. “It’s fine, my king,” he says. “It is not. But I will endeavor not to make the same mistake again.” Shang Qinghua leans miserably into Mobei-jun’s cool touch.

[asukaskerian]

prompt 4 for moshang with the mood "incensed" would be hilarous i imagine

Mythology - Foretold by the gods - moshang

--

So he might have, maybe, at some point -- some late at night or maybe very early point -- tried to figure out an OC for Mobei-jun to ship w fuck. Dude was so perfect, it was a shame his dump truck ass and sequoia thighs remained unembraced. (Also the whole "he's so mysterious and never opens up and unveils his deep thoughts and tender feelings except for me" fantasy but never mind all that.)

He'd gone exactly as far as 'Meeting: why tf would he notice anyone. Dashing rescue? Why does he need a rescue he's too cool and basically untrappable anyway, what are they rescuing him from socializing with his cousins lmao???' on his notes before giving up on making it realistic. The next scribble was 'cuz i said so ok next'. 

There had been no 'next'. His battery had died and when he managed to get home and get his laptop plugged in it was time for another word vomit on the topic of Bing-ge's meat truncheon.

[Secret side-quest: Easter egg! 1/536 discovered. Keep going!][Category: "is it a headcanon if you didn't think it up with your upper head?" 1/413]

'System-bro, what the entire fuck!?!' Airplane screeched inside his heart of hearts; ass on the floor (bruising), clothes askew (from sleeping in them!!), and the most gorgeous, terrifying man he'd ever seen staring down at him from the bed they'd crashed into (Mobei-jun first, because unconscious, Airplane later, because idiot) the previous night.

Because he had expected being sneered at; being talked down to; being attacked on sight. Being haughtily ignored, after sufficient groveling at crotch level.

But his most perfect, most unattainable creation, that Himalayan peak made flesh, saying that --

--

The problem with Airplane was, he didn't trust people. He didn't trust them to share their feelings and decisions with him freely instead of leaving him reeling at yet another swerve of which he was merely collateral damage. He didn't trust them not to lie to themselves, or even know they were lying to themselves, so even if they did tell him what they thought or felt he assumed they were doing the polite 'the real reason is none of your business but telling you to fuck off is rude' thing at best.

So yes, his favorite game from childhood had been to pick someone in the crowd and tell himself stories about their life. This guy is a grandfather of seven and doesn't know the birthday of a single grandkid and his eldest son just pointed it out to him, but not even angrily which is worse because that's how low the bar he failed to clear was, that's why the fancy package and the gloomy expression. That girl just broke up -- she's so angry though -- he was fucking her sister. No wait, her nails are short, it was a girlfriend for sure; she fucked her brother, a double betrayal. It had evolved into telling himself stories about his classmates and his half-siblings and his parents, since they were never ever gonna bother to invite him to take a real glimpse inside, anyway. 

He was fully aware that statistically speaking he was probably wrong a lot of the time, but 1. coming up with coherent narratives was satisfying enough to smother the jealousy and loneliness and 2. as far as he was concerned it was true until proved otherwise, which was never.

But a guy who gave him nothing to work with. That was a challenge. That was fascinating. 

....

But a guy who greeted him by "You are to be my husband?" with a tone of dismay?!

What the fuck! What the fuck!! What the flying dick-flapping fuck!!!

He was so shocked, he forgot to kowtow. 

"You uh. My king?" He hadn't made the guy so above it all that he landed straight back into a a naive ingenue, right? "Just sleeping on the same mattress doesn't -- people don't have to be married to share--" 

The muggy air of the inn room went so cold so fast that condensation rolled cold drops down his back. 

(The effect didn't last; there was a haze in the air, briefly, and then a suffocating breeze from outside ruined the surprise air-con.)

"You will not speak to me like an idiot child," Mobei-jun-to-be rumbled threateningly, and then ruined the cool by continuing in that wtf vein. "My husband will show respect to his wife or his wife shall reign as a widow."

Holy shit, now Mobei-jun was the wife???!?!??? What? What! Airplane was dead. Again. For good. 

He stayed down there sitting on his ass, waiting for the world to make sense. It didn't happen. The man of his masochistic dreams had crossed his arms over his massive bara titties like a barricade and was now sulking up there like an offended wi-- no, he couldn't even think it. 

"My -- my king? It's only, ah, your humble servant doesn't... recall... getting married...?"

Eyes as blue as the afterimage of a lightning strike speared him through, metaphorically.

"Not yet. But we must." 

He let out a long sigh; and his face didn't twitch when he moved to aggravate his wound, but the way he stilled for a breath was telling. Shang not-yet-Qinghua winced in reflexive sympathy.

"There is a prophecy."

"... Ah?" A prophecy. About his king. That he hadn't put into the story. That he hadn't even scribbled into the margins or thought about. 'System?!'

[Yes, valued User?]

"There is a prophecy for each generation, and most of them don't matter," the ice demon using that shitty inn bed as his throne said with a bitter tone. "But the eleventh ruler of the Northern Desert will be heralded by his foretold spouse; that is how he is confirmed."

"Ohh," Airplane said intelligently and with characteristic eloquence. 

"'You will know them by these things," his king quoted sourly, "first, they will heal you; second, share your bed; third, offer their hand, and service, and their soul."

'Their soul! Their soul!! I was offering my sneakiness and maybe my dick, ah?! System!!! Who told you to mess up my creation with made-up prophecies?!'

[The easter egg category: "is it a headcanon if you didn't think it up with your upper head?" belongs to the third rung of canon : Word of God.]

But he hadn't told anyone--

But he'd written it down, he remembered now. 'Cuz i said so.'

Oh god. Oh immortals ascended before him. Oh little ancestors in both and either worlds. Someone fix this for him. "My king. Haha. My king, that is -- so vague! So vague?! How can there not be a dozen candidates with criteria so -- so stupid? And if the prophecy is common knowledge then people knew them in advance?! How were you not sabotaged right and left--"

...Oh no. He was gorgeous when he smirked like this, slow and feline, satisfied. My king, so unfair.

"This prince has long since made it a point not to sleep where others may catch him." A delicate pause. "He has also made it a point to return misplaced agents to his most obstinate siblings's chambers at a time his elders may not miss them."

"--Oh. Disqualifying them for trying to disqualify you -- so smart, my king!" For a moment, he had gotten enthused. But then he remembered that they were discussing his sudden non-canon matrimony, and then he started poking it for plot holes. "But -- just anybody can share your bed."

"The language is old, and clear. The prophecy speaks of the only person to ever share this king's bed."

... Hhghhhk.

That stare. So hard. Offended. Those cheekbones. So cutting. That nose, regal; that hair.

"My king," Airplane said as he climbed up to his feet, eyes trained on the floor and his knees and the things spread on the table and anything else at all. "Have you ever thought that the 'sharing a bed' section was metaphorical?" 

He met the demon's eyes then, incredulous and angry, buoyant with it. "You haven't even shown me your dick and you think I should be making recompense?! What the fuck! Passing out on the same shitty mattress doesn't mean getting deflowered! I didn't knock you up with a snowball ass egg, why the fuck should I--"

Oh, he was tall. Also wide. Especially wide. Flatten me daddy indeed. 

Oh, he was angry.

"It is not. Metaphorical. Though if all you need is to see my body--"

His hand landed on his belt. Shang eventually-Qinghua stopped breathing, body hot and bubbling with too much emotion--

It read like one of his waifu plots, the Joan of Arc types, unconquerable holy virgins except via the pressure of greater good.

A vague scrying over some random-ass kingdom, a little prophecy and welp! Nothing to it, just gotta fuck it out for the marital bed and then never again. At least you getting lawfully reamed has saved Bumfucknowhereistan.

'System. Demerit if I say hell no?'

[The bonus Mobei-jun questline remains optional, and brings User no penalties on opt-out.]

'Great.'

Like hell he was jumping into marriage because he liked some guy's face and didn't want to be bothered by geriatric busybodies tittering over his lack of wedlock. Who was he, his mother?

"I'll pass. Sorry, my king, at least I'm ditching you long before the altar?"

And with a sweep of his hand, he dumped all his things off the table and into his qiankun pouch, and was jumping out the window and doing a sick flip trick on his trusty borrowed blade. Airplane over and out, bro! 

Thanks for nothing. Now his spank bank was forever tainted.

--

Three days later he was still dealing with bursts of anger and anguish and other moronic emotions, which didn't help navigating his miraculous return to the sect ("I was so scared!" lost its impact if he broke a sneery judgmental Shixiong's ankle with a well-placed kick) or the medical peak's nosiness ("Who cares about the bruises, my biggest injury is my blue balls and broken heart, thanks!") or Shen not-quite-Quingqiu's scalpel eyes.

His king's eyes were prettier. 

His king was never going to be his king. Optional quest line. Yeah. He vaguely wondered how the System planned to make him betray the sect, then, who for, and then decided it wasn't his problem. Fuck it. He was sure it could do blackout poetry with his notes and pull out some contrived justification that would amount for half as much incentive as Mobei-jun's everything. 

His fierce determination, his fearlessness, his skill, his -- his body.

His body that was extremely too visible on Shang in-his-soul-Qinghua's disciple bed, shoulders draped in furs and bountiful meaty muscle on full frontal display.

"I will not," he growled low and quiet, "be discarded by my spouse."

"Hhg."

He had snow leopard rosettes on his flanks in dusky blue, secret patterns never appeared in any cover art Airplane had commissioned. 

[Secret side-quest: Easter egg! 2/536 discovered. Keep going!]

... Oh god, it turned out Shang Qinghua was exactly as stupid as Bing-ge's most ice-cold chaste wives. Because 'lie back and think of England?' Yeah, he was going to think of England and that dick.

[exymybeloved]

I REALLY need to stop writing at 2 am and go to sleep.

anyways, tw are swearing and whatever the arc of opm accusing Shen jiu is.

Shang Qinghua was listening intently at what the old palace master was saying, even though he knew what was about to happen to Shen Qingqiu (he was the one that wrote it, of course he knew.), Shang QingHua hoped and prayed that something was going to be different. That-

[Limited time offer!!! Would you like to buy the special deal ‘Freedom of speech 🦅’?

Only 10000 B-points!]

….

“Huh?” Shang Qinghua said intelligently.

Wait. Hold on. System?! Are you saying he could do whatever he wanted?! He could save Shen Qingqiu?! (And everyone else!)

[Host, this is a limited time offer! 01 : 46]

Shang QingHua looked at the price and immediately winced. That was such a scam! 10000 B-points?! In theory, Shang Qinghua could afford it… but what if there was an emergency? 

System, how much B-points do I have..?

[14913 B-points!]

Airplane lets out a groan (in his head), seriously?! That was going to leave him 4913 points only! Ughhhhhhhh! System, why are so… so… annoying!

Just wait until he uses it with Mobei-Jun, and tell him that he was a transmigrator! And maybe that he would tell Mobei that he was the author and technically god of this world!

[!!!!!!Host is not allowed to say anything about the system, transmigration or Pidw to anyone!!!!!! 01 : 09 ]

Then what is the point of this! It’s just useless!

Shang QingHua’s eyes flickered up to look at the old palace master, he still seemed to be in the middle of his speech. Shang QingHua’s eyes drifted to the right. Oh wait never mind, Qiu Haitang has appeared.

“—violent crime either. He was registered in the wanted list for many years, the one whose hands took innumerable lives-Wu Yanzi!"

…Ahhhh, fuck it! This IS an emergency! I’ll buy it! 

[Host have purchased ‘Freedom of speech 🦅’!

Host may use it for 15 minutes! Please use it wisely!]

Just as Shang QingHua bought it, the old palace master said loudly for everyone to hear, "In my opinion, it would be best to have Shen Qingqiu relocated to Huan Hua Palace for the time being. Wait until we've ascertained the truth before we come to a decision-how about it?"

Shit! Act quick!

“Ahaha, Let’s not get too hasty, Master Chen.” Shang Qinghua quickly blurted out.

The old palace master raised an eyebrow, “Hasty? This master is simply saying that Huan Hua palace is the best place for Shen Qingqiu to stay temporarily until there is evidence of his innocence.”

“Ah, this one would normally allow it…. If Master Chen weren’t just lying about everything.” Shang Qingahua smiled politely,with a smile that did not fully reach his eyes.

The old palace master’s eyes twitched, “Are you saying I am lying?”

“Ah, yes. First of all, all the things you have brought up are rumours and gossip. Rumours and truths are different. If Shen Qingqiu’s rumours about beating his disciple were true, then are the rumours about the little palace mistress’s mother being a much younger Huan Hua disciple true? It could be but also not. That’s what a rumour is. Secondly, it is Shen Qingqiu’s disciples, he can do what he wants.” As Shang QingHua says this, he kept his words polite, and respectful.

“Ah, this master suppose that could be true, but what about Miss Qiu Haitang’s statement? We cannot ignore something so serious.” 

“We have not heard anything from Shen Qingqiu’s perspective. It could very well be a misunderstanding.”

“Well, Shen Qingqiu, would you like to say anything about this?”

Shang QingHua hoped Shen Qingqiu would use this opportunity to save himself.

“This… This master had a Qi deviation on that fateful day and had accidentally killed… him. After the kill, I realised what I had done and fell into a deeper qi deviation, I only managed to snap out of it after I burnt down the Qiu mansion.” Shen Qingqiu was gripping his fan tightly, using it to cover his face, even though he was already facing away from the crowd and no one could see his face.

Yesss!!!!! Good job, Bro! I can make excuses for you like this!!!

“While that certainly doesn’t excuse killing the Qiu family, it explains a lot about the situation.” Shang QingHua said, still in that polite tone.

“…W.. Well, what about Shen Qingqiu going to brothels?” A brave Huan Hua disciple spoke up.

“I doubt Shen Qingqiu would sleep with the prostitute.” Wait. Uhhhhh. How can he explain this?

The old palace master seemed to take this as an opportunity and said, “And why is that, peak Lord Shang?”

Fuck! How can I explain this?! I can’t say that Shen Qingqiu was just seeking comfort! They’ll definitely think it was a lie! 

“Peak Lord Shang?” Fuck you!!! Don’t sound so smug!! Just say anything Airplane!!! 

“Shen Qingqiu is a cut sleeve.” 

A chorus of gasps was heard from the crowd.

…😨😨😨 …...NOOOOOOOO! AIRPLANE YOU ABSOLUTE BAFOON! YOu idiot! Why did you say it like that?!?! 

“……..And how do you know that?” The Huan Hua cultivator from before asked. 

Okay, Airplane you can fix this! Just say whatever comes to mind and don’t panic! Anything can do! It’s not like you can make it worse!

“I know from the amount of time we were together in the sheets, of course.” Fuck! Airplane! You did make it worse! Why did you double down!!?! 

Shang QingHua didn’t know if he wanted to live or die, as the whispering crowd fell into silence.

Fuck.

[sun-and-moon-mushroom]

Day 6: “You Lied to Me”

AO3 link

(Note: continuation of Day 4)

Shen Qingqiu is dead. Shen Qingqiu should be dead. He’s felt death before, and this is what it feels like — a slow fading, as he lies on the ground, unable to move except for the painful attempts at breathing as his lungs struggle to keep him alive, followed by a loss of sensation as his eyesight fades to black and his limbs go numb, before everything comes to an end.

Shen Qingqiu is not dead — not properly anyway — because the bright blue screen of the System is hanging before him, pausing time with its very presence.

[ MAIN QUEST FAILED. INITIATING HOST EVICTION ]

Shen Qingqiu could almost relax at that. Dying again was something he’d been trying to avoid but now he had to face it again, what other choice did he have but to accept it?

[ Would host like to live? ]

He frowned at the blue screen above him.

“Didn’t you say I would be sent back to my old corpse if I didn’t complete the mission? Did you lie about that as well?”

The System’s screen remained blank for a moment before it’s robotic voice blared into his mind once more.

[ Host may retain connection to current body in exchange for B-points or other energy sources. ]

Reading those words filled Shen Qingqiu with a sudden desire to live, now that the System was offering him a chance. He could see Liu Qingge again, see Luo Binghe grow up into the all-powerful demon lord he was destined to become, maybe even return to his peaceful Qing Jing Peak… maybe there was something more basal about it as well, something more instinctual, the desire of every living thing to climb their way up, even when the obstacles seemed insurmountable.

[ Would host like to use B-points to repair his body?

> Yes > No ]

Shen Qingqiu accepted the offer, and immediately felt better. Pulling himself up, he found that his wounds were already closing over, and while his broken arm still ached, the sharp pain that he had felt each time it moved before had disappeared completely. Cautiously he got to his feet, still slightly unsteady on them, and surveyed the area. It fit with what the book had described the first part of Abyss as — a wide and open wasteland of red stone, littered with the craters and sword-strikes of some long-ago battle.

Without his sword — he felt a moment of longing for Xiu Ya, shattered in the hands of Mobei-jun — he would have to be careful, especially with Without-a-Cure acting up, with no one there to clear the blockages. Reaching for his qi, he was surprised to feel it answer him easily but… wrong somehow. Rather than flowing through his body, his qi flowed… across?

[ New Achievement Unlocked : Cultivation as a Fierce Corpse! ] cheered the System.

Ah, thought Shen Qingqiu to himself, that might make things a bit trickier.

[incognito-lionbeast]

I'm now imagining this conversation between Shang Qinghua and Liu Qingge where SQH sits him down and he's like "I know you normally give formal events a miss but I really need you to come to my wedding because, you see, there's this demon tradition where both sides of the family try to assassinate their relative's prospective spouse, but since all the demons there will be on Mobei-Jun's side..." And Liu Qingge is like "I understand. Obviously Mobei-Jun will feel insulted if no one attempts to assassinate him, so you need me to come and spend the entirety of the feast attempting to kill your future husband. If I succeed, one of the Peak Lords of Cang Qiong won't marry a literal demon. If I fail, at least my martial brother is happy and his husband's family is not slighted. Say no more, I understand my responsibility." And SQH is just like "..... Um. Actually."

asDFGHGS You know, I hadn't actually considered that, but you do raise a very good point. 🤣

In my version of the conversation-- or at least the one in my head (since I don't have it written out anywhere lmfao), I don't think SQH actually tells Liu Qingge about the assassination part at all? Partly because he assumes that Liu Qingge wouldn't actually be helpful and/or want to help.

Partly because it's much more fun (for Shang Qinghua) if Liu Qingge shows up unaware, because if LQG's already expecting folks to be violent... then where's the surprise when they start flirting with him? The permission to maim is worded more as an afterthought, ostensibly to entice and/or placate LQG into attending-- though SQH knows better~ :3

.......though, yeah, if it weren't for Liu Qingge's many suitors, he might've picked a fight with Mobei-Jun, too. Possibly. Yue Qingyuan warned him against it. Something-something about technically being allies, because MBJ's boss is Luo Binghe--who's still a Qing Jing disciple... while also being Shen Qingqiu's husband... and the Huan Hua Sect Leader... and, yes, a Demon Lord....

(their hierarchy is in shambles)

Anyway, Yue Qingyuan doesn't want trouble.

[coffeetailor]

GTOber Day 7: Sweater Weather

(A/N: Yep, out of order and off date. Have some cute.)

Shang Hua, also known as Airplane Shooting Into the Sky, still couldn't believe his luck. Who would have thought that a single chance encounter with his biggest hater... would actually improve his life. starting with the improvement of his 'great' life's work. For being such a vicious little angry bean, the kid had a good heart. And enough spare change to not only pay his rent, but move him into a better apartment!

And without the risk of eviction and starvation on the table, he'd been able to stop pandering to the incel brigade that had made up so much of his paying audience, and actually take his time to write the story he'd wanted to at the start.

It was in visiting his old, long-buried notes, that he first saw the little figurine on his desk blink.

There hadn't been very much merchandise made from PIDW, and only a fraction of it actually featured his king, but he'd lived on expired noodles rescued from the bin for a month to get his hands on this one. Cast resin with a cheap paint job that he'd redone himself (why did they keep making his king's hair white? Yes, he was an ice demon, but he'd never described white hair!), he'd touched every inch of it. No part was meant to be able to move. Especially not the eyes.

But the figurine had blinked anyway. and then turned its head. And glared at him before threatening the author if he didn't release the 'spell' he had on him to seal his powers.

It took days to convince Mobei-Jun (alive! In his apartment! And as heartbreakingly gorgeous as he'd ever imagined in writing out his descriptions) that he hadn't actually done anything to him. At least not on purpose! By the end of that, the little figuring somehow got it into his head instead that Shang Hua was a god, and he couldn't be convinced otherwise. At least it meant that he could sleep without fear of the demon clawing his eyes out. It didn't prevent him from ordering him around like a servant, however.

So they'd come to a peace. The living figurine didn't get hungry, but he snitched from Shang Hua's plate every day anyway. And demanded a room stocked with ice all summer, which was made with an opened cooler left in the living room. By the time that fall rolled around, Shang Hua was almost used to his tiny roommate.

Which wasn't to say that Mobei was entirely used to Shang Hua or the world he lived in.

"What are you wearing?"

Blinking at his tiny roommate, Shang Hua looked down at his sweater, a big chunky thing that was two sizes too large, but was also one of the coziest things he owned. "This, my king? It's just a sweater. We wear them to keep warm in the colder seasons. We don't do so well as you in chilly weather."

Mobei-Jun frowned, studying his outfit with cat-like judgement before motioning him over to the table they'd set up his room on. Obediently, Shang Hua walked over and offered him a hand. The demon hadn't been particularly enthused about being carried at the start, but after figuring out that his teleportation powers were gone with the rest, he'd decided that the author was going to be his own personal carriage whenever he wanted to leave the desk.

Spoiled brat.

This time, instead of climbing up into his hand, Mobei grabbed it and pulled him closer, Shang Hua barely avoiding falling on his face by catching himself with his free hand. He was tiny and his powers didn't work, but that didn't mean that he wasn't still strong! "My king?"

Mobei-Jun poked at the cuff of his sweater, examining the fiber and the pattern like he was judging it. Which... he probably was. He'd already made his opinion of most of Shang Hua's clothes known (namely that they were strange and indecent, and this from a man who kept his chest bared to the world), so there wasn't much hope that the sweater would meet his standards either.

"What is this fiber?"

Shang Hua rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. "Eh... I'm not actually sure. Probably some poly blend? All I know is that it was dryer safe so I don't have to wait for it to air dry."

Mobei eyed him. "You don't use the 'dryer' on this king's clothing."

"My king, you wear fur and silk! Which is absolutely not safe to use in the dryer! And even if it was, the stitching is so fine that I'd be worried about it getting torn in there! Besides, they dry a lot faster than a sweater does," he said, trying to shake the idea that his king was pouting. "I'm happy to keep washing your things by hand. There isn't much here to get them dirty in the first place anyway."

"Then we should leave this place," the living figure said, lifting his chin to stare the author down. Which would have been easier had he been taller than him.

Shang Hua had been about to protest that he had writing to do all day, when he remembered that he'd actually sent his last chapter off to Cucumber last night. And that he wasn't posting at breakneck speed anymore. Besides, with the colder weather, maybe his king would like to get outside.

Smiling, he once again offered his hand. "Okay. You'll have to stay out of sight though. I don't think people would react well if they saw you."

Not to mention that his king was so small... he could get hurt. Something that he knew would utterly break his heart if it happened.

He was wise enough not to mention that, however.

This time, Mobei stepped up onto his hand, using his arm as a ramp up to his shoulder from there. His hands when he touched the side of Shang Hua's neck for balance were ice cold of course, but how could he complain when having him there was just more adorable than he was willing to risk saying. But that didn't keep him from shivering when the icy little figure burrowed his way inside the collar of his sweater to lean against more skin!

"Comfortable, my king?" he asked, trying not to shiver too much and bother him. Powers or not, Mobei was perfectly capable of stabbing him in the neck!

There was a small sound of agreement from just below his ear and he smiled, grabbing keys and wallet before going for the door. Maybe if he thought about this right, it could almost be like a date. The idea of it, a date with his favorite creation, put a spring in his step. What a lovely, chilly day.

[greentrickster]

Oh gods, for the Hopeful Hybrid’s Househusbanding System, Tianlang-jun sleeping outside and on roofs while he’s at Cang Qiong, outwardly to be annoying, truthfully because #trauma from being horribly stuck under a mountain for so long, confined spaces bad, waking up in the dark bad, waking up in dark room with cultivator qi all around very bad. Buuuuuut he made a bargain with his son, and with this sect in particular, and they did actually follow through on their agreement to dig his original body up and get it healthy again while he runs around in a Sun and Moon Dew Flower body, so he can behave. For a given value of ‘behave.’

And also sleep on the roof of Yue Qingyuan’s leisure house more often than anywhere else in the sect, because petty, guilt trip, and also ‘haha guess who’s on top of who now ya bastard.’

Yue Qingyuan’s takeaway from all this: Tianlang-jun is in a body that’s technically a plant right now, exposure to lots of sunlight and fresh air is probably important to keep it healthy, especially since it’s supposedly not designed to have demonic qi in it. Also, we kinda seriously owe this guy, especially me, so unless he’s doing something dangerous to himself or others, just let the guy sleep. If he is doing something dangerous, please notify me, Luo Binghe, or Shen Qingqiu and we’ll ask him to stop.

...

...okay he’s getting lots of fresh air and sunlight, and moonlight, but is he getting enough water? Plants need water. Also nutrients. Is he getting proper nutrients? Shang-shidi, you’re the one who found out about how to make the plant bodies and grew this one, what kind of nutrients does it need? Hm, yes, okay. (goes off to find foods that also have these nutrients in them)

Tianlang-jun: (the fourth day he climbs onto Yue Qingyuan’s roof to find a pitcher of water and tray of nice food waiting for him under a cloth with a preservation talisman on it) Okay, what the heck, sect leader why do you keep leaving your meals up here?

Yue Qingyuan: (not commenting on how Tianlang-jun is asking this by dangling half-off the roof and staring through his office window) They are not for me, they are for you.

Tianlang-jun: ...what, why? I can get my own meals.

Yue Qingyuan: (explains about the taking care of the plant body thing)

Tianlang-jun: (narrowed suspicious eyes) ...are you trying to buy me off about sealing me under a mountain?

Yue Qingyuan: (shocked) Of course not! Such a debt cannot be paid off, never mind so cheaply. As ones who have so greatly wronged you, and in the face of your magnitude in regards to seeking vengeance for our wrong-doings, ensuring your comfort and well-being while in our care is the most basic of our tasks.

Tianlang-jun: ...are you for real?

Yue Qingyuan: ...I don’t understand the question?

Then Tianlang-jun goes and demands Shang Qinghua tell him what’s up, since he seems to be the guy who knows stuff around here, and gets informed that the sect leader is kind of a walking guilt complex with more issues layered on top of that, not that I can go into details, my lord, not because I don’t want to, I just don’t know them-!!!

Tianlang-jun: ...okay, you’re probably lying about that last part, but I get what you’re saying. (stares into the distance) Dangit, I guess I’m gonna have to fix him.

Shang Qinghua: ...I beg your pardon, my lord?

Tianlang-jun: It’s no fun bullying him right now, not satisfying at all. So I need to fix him up first if I want to get any satisfaction out of this.

Shang Qinghua: ...as you say my lord. (makes plans to go lie face down on Mobei-jun’s chest asap, because he shouldn’t have to deal with this crap but since the universe is making him do it anyway he at least deserves to have nice things in the process.)

[its-chelisey-stuff]

The Legend of Anle eps 21-30 (thoughts& feels!!)

I don’t know why they released this happy poster that had nothing to do with these last eps lol they tricked me! I feel tricked!

What a rollercoaster. Even if I don’t exactly like the direction the drama took, I have to admit it got the plot moving a lot more than the last 10 eps. So let’s recap: Prince found out the truth, got a little cheeky and passive-agressive about it, throwing hints left and right. He went on a date with Anle. The two fell into a trap and off a cliff, then took care of each other (arguably the most romantic eps of the show so far), then they forgot about returning home and stayed there for a few days while everyone else was worried sick looking for them hahaha

And then they got rescued against their will and things went bananas. Anle revealed herself as Ziyuan and everything went angsty weepy sad eyes. Dowager Empress died. HanYe got emo and depressed, then he snapped and killed someone and now Luo MingXi knows Ziyuan’s brother is alive, but because he’s truly the worst, he still won’t tell her hahaha I mean HanYe not telling her is one thing, I guess, but LMX? why? cuz he sucks! and his love for her is conditional. If he can’t be the one to present her with the solutions or the shoulder to lean on, then he won’t give her something that makes her happy, because in his eyes he’d be indebted to someone else that’s not him and he cannot allow that. He said it himself, he’s selfish! He cannot die soon enough.

A list of things I loved the most no sad Crown Prince on my list btw:

Ziyuan&HanYe living together in some magical valley where days looked fake af and nights looked like fairy tales. They should’ve made out at the very least, by the look of things we won’t have a kiss until the last ep, if ever.

Ziyuan told WenShuo he can be her little brother (!!!!! girl if only you knew!!) and also, they bonded a bit more in these eps, yay! Why is HanYe not saying anything to any of them??

Luo Mingxi was arrested and tortured (sorry not sorry, I hate him :P)

My sweet Crown Prince became a hot murderer lol. Made a whole post about it.

Meanwhile MoBei or Lengbei or whatever is planning the most boring and slowest invasion in the history of wuxias, with zero charisma on his side. It’s almost like he got too invested in the whole Anle is Ziyuan drama that he has forgotten his mission with all the tea happening at court. Maybe he is a shipper as well and the angst has completely slowed down his plans. Unlikely? Yes, but not impossible lol 

But we can’t blame him. It happens when you’re not the main protagonist and just a secondary character exclusively invented for the show forced to be the ultimate baddie but writers don’t care enough about you to give you a personality. Also, someone get him away from Anning!!! arghh!!!

I hated to see Crown Prince being lovesick and like he was on the verge of a mental breakdown. I mean, technically he had one. Ugh.stupid Gong Jun and his sad puppy eyes But I know that, for every scene I watch of him suffering, I have to push through to see Ziyuan suffer unbearable pain because she took him for granted for far too long.

I remember posting once, when the trailer came out, that at the very least I’d be enjoying how pretty the drama was, starting with OTP. And I got what I wanted, but at what cost? Anyway, I made it this far and I actually watched Gong Jun’s The Flaming Heart (which was truly plotless and the FL behaved like a 10 year old, truly haunting given she was a doctor). In here till the end! lol

[tcfactory]

as a side note may i suggest a siberian husky for sqh. mostly because those things whine like nothing else. hardworking? yes. adaptable? absolutely. anxiety? tremendously. ready for harsh snow and winter at any point in time? delightfully. will relay to you the song of his people at the top of his voice and from the bottom of his lungs? god. dammit. yes. that thing will HOWLlike you have mortally wounded it. what was sqh doing? trying to give him a bath. also "he looks just like you my king!"

ahjsgfasdjh That's perfect. Shang Qinghua and his daemon, the whiniest husky in the whole wide word. Mobei-jun would be amused and pleased at having a good doggo stand guard over him while he sleeps in Qinghua's house, because he knows that if someone approaches who shouldn't, then the howling will wake even the dead. Perfect alarm system for demon princes who sneak into righteous sects to nap! Kind of a shitty alarm clock, but eh, he has heard worse.

I was thinking yesterday what Mobei-jun's daemon should be, because sure I could say demons don't have them (why would they want to have their vulnerabilities out in the open like that? also it would mean TLJ would have had to pose with snake form ZZL when he was wandering the human realm) but I think I can do something really funny with it.

Please consider: Mobei-jun is perfect assassin material, right? So he would, ideally, have some kind of ambush predator. But he's also a king, so some kind of territorial herbivore would match the vibes of that position. Besides, Airplane was watching a documentary on African wildlife the night before he decided to add the daemon elements to PIDW and only remembered that male elephants can be really aggressive and dangerous he absolutely forgot that it's specifically tied to a sort of reproductive cycle. So Mobei-jun's daemon is just. Straight up a woolly mammoth? That can turn invisible because he still needs to keep some of the stealthy assassin vibes.

He was considering invisible fluffy hippo, but decided that his king deserves something more majestic. So it was either mammoth or rhino.

A rhino might be easier to hide tbh and, you know, it can have literal blades on its head, but I don't remember if rhinos ever get territorial or not.

Anyway, rhino or mammoth, it loves chilling down in the forest around CQMS because it can eat its fill whenever its demon is up on the mountain to bother his human and the people this close to the sect are feeling safe enough that it had to tell them once that it belongs to a wandering cultivator visiting the mountain and they even give it special treats sometimes! Mobei-jun's daemon is living the good life here.

...honestly I just find the idea of an ambush rhino really funny.

[ineffectualdemon]

Airplane transmigrated into Shang Qinghua because they were very similar

They are both people who hate their life, feel disconnected from the people around them, and put their own survival over any other morals.

They would do what they needed to to survive and fuck anyone who looked down on them for that.

But at the same time they are filled with a seething resentment about the situation they are in. Because in their mind there was no other choice and everyone else is to blame. Even when it's actually their fault.

I even think Airplane transmigrated into a baby because they were similar from childhood.

I think the main difference between OG Shang Qinghua and Airplane is

1. Airplane was hornier for Mobei Jun then OG Shang Qinghua was.

I personally like to headcanon that OG Shang Qinghua, at least when he rescued Mobei Jun, was also horny for our favourite popsicle. This is partially based off the fact that if the OG Shang Qinghua met Mobei Jun in the same circumstances than why wouldn't he have killed Mobei when he passed out? Why would he have cared for him for days?

Like yes he wanting to get help getting ahead but killing a powerful demon who killed all his fellow disciples would have elevated his role in the sect much faster in a lot of ways.

Killing Mobei Jun was the more practical and career bettering option for both of them. And I don't think either Shang Qinghua would have been unable to miss it.

But at the end of the day Shang QInghua being horny for Mobei Jun is a headcanon.

I think however the daily beatings put him off of the horny and firmly into resentment. Whereas Airplane's terror boner never flagged.

But if he wasn't horny at all my point still stands: Airplane was hornier and that changed how he reacted to situations

2. OG Shang Qinghua was braver than Airplane

Airplane "knew" his fate and was constantly trying to avoid it and was fearful of it. Shang Qinghua had no such knowledge. Because he didn't know "if I do x I will definitely be murdered" he hadn't the same fear about trying it.

Saying that I like to think that maybe OG Shang Qinghua didn't plan to betray Mobei Jun. Maybe he and Mobei were coming close to an understanding. But Bingge couldn't have his favourite dog distracted. So he had to remove the parasite hanging on him like a good owner. But again. That's a personal headcanon.

But lets say he did betray Mobei, that took bravery that Airplane didn't have. Maybe just because they had different knowledge, maybe not. It failed but it did take bravery.

Shen Yuan transmigrated into Shen Qingqiu because they are very similar

Being a petty ass bitch is an inherent part of their personality, they both are poseurs while looking down at people for being poseurs, they have certain circular logic, manipulative tendencies (presented differently), and blatant favouritism, and allergic to explaining their actions properly

Shen Yuan transmigrated when he did because that's when he and Shen Qingqiu are most similar in their lives.

They have more differences than Airplane and Shang Qinghua. Their backgrounds and histories and social skills etc

But that's also why Shen Qingqiu was the one who could change the plot and Shang Qinghua couldn't

Because Shang Qinghua was too close to the person he transmigrated into.

Anyway that's just some things I had been thinking about.

[toomanytakennamesagh]

Ohhh random gush post cuz I can’t seem to focus on my essay after reading the latest chapter which filled me with SO MUCH DELIGHT. I just gotta let these words out cuz they’ve been festering in my brain for a bit.

SVSSS and Moshang fans are probably familiar with this name, but for anybody who doesn’t know (cuz ley’s be honest I don’t have a lot of followers and this is probably gonna get buried under a bunch of other Tumblr posts), Tossawary is a pretty active SVSSS author. I love them so much. Like, they post on Tumblr pretty regularly, draws art, AND writes amazing fics. I feel like the SVSSS fandom struck a goldmine with them.*

More under the cut cuz this got a bit long? And there may be some spoilers to their fics. 

The thing I love the most is how they always seem to complete their fics? And this gives me SUCH a sense of security? Because I HATE feeling the pain of seeing a discontinued WIP so much, but with their stories I get to enjoy the joy/agony of waiting for new chapter updates without having to worry about whether or not it will actually finish.

(And this is no hate to authors who DO have unfinished WIPs, okay. Even if they’re unfinished, I’m honestly glad it was put out in the world for readers to enjoy. Please don’t see this post as a bash, because you’re great too.)

They also write one of my most favorite versions of Shang Qinghua and Mobei-jun? (And Moshang in general.) Like, they perfectly capture the mess and hilarity of the ship, the REALLY BAD miscommunications and weird history together. They write meta posts and fic ideas about Mobei-jun’s family history and thought process, and how he would come to fall for a weird guy like Shang Qinghua. 

BUT THAT’S NOT ALL! Because they also create lovely OC’s (Luo Jiahui and Peng Hongpeng, I’m staring directly at you). Like, they add to the stories perfectly, they’re properly fleshed out, and their relationships with Shang Qinghua are wonderful. 

The relationships--romantic or platonic--in general are great. THEY GOT ME TO LIKE A SHIP I WASN’T ORIGINALLY EVEN INTO (cough shang qinghua x yue qingyuan). They gave me a lovely familial dynamic between Shang Qinghua and Luo Binghe!** THEY LET LBH’S MOM SURVIVE, AND HAD SVSSS!LBH MEET HER!***  

And as someone who’s a sucker for worldbuilding, Tossawary fleshes out the history and setting of the SVSSS/PIDW world beautifully. I have a thing about reading the day-to-day tasks and stories of life on Cang Qiong Mountain, and how the world works outside of that. Like, yes please, tell me more about what the Peak Lords talk about in their meetings. I actually do really want to know about the kind of requests/documents/dealings Shang Qinghua has to deal with.

Anyways some of my favorite fics:

Nothing to Me, Nothing to You-- A SVSSS and MDZS fusion featuring Cloud Recesses Shang Qinghua and Yue Qingyuan, and Wen!Mobei-jun. It features a lovely friendship between YQY and SQH, and Moshang slowly getting closer and acting like dumb teens. 

Stepping Up- Currently on chapter three, and inspired me to write this post in the first place. IT’S AN DING LBH GETTING (kinda) ADOPTED BY SQH! AND DISAPPROVING OF MBJ! Just watching his protective mode go on sqh is a delight, they deserve to be in cahoots. THEY DESERVE TO BOTH BE CARED FOR. 

the ability to remain sober and gracious- I’m a qijiu simp okay. Even if this fic isn’t romantic, I still love how the argument turned out. And how that argument even started hehe. 

Catch a Falling Star- It’s a Stardust/SVSSS fusion. SY is the star, and he’s going on a road trip with lqg and lbh. Need I say more? 

love to the ones i’ve never met- This fic’s synopsis BROKE MY BRAIN FOR A BIT. I WENT FERAL WHEN LJH AND SVSSS!LBH MET! WHEN LBH GOT TO SEE THE PINTWILF UNIVERSE! I’VE WANTED THIS SO FOR MUCH. HE DESERVES TO HAVE A FAMILY AND GET MOTHERED AGAIN. 

Anyways if you haven’t read their fics please do. Tossawary if you ever read this post just know your hard work is appreciated and very much loved. 

*Also not to say I don’t appreciate other svsss/moshang authors, because I DO. The fandom is full of amazing talented people, and I delight in all their creations. 

**I have very strong VERY SPECIFIC FEELINGS about LBH having close platonic relationships. That boy needs friends and family, he’s suffered enough in canon!  

***It was everything I ever wanted

[rejectedfables]

my autistic brain hates the term "Modern AU" because it's not specific enough. It's shorthand, but it's shitty shorthand. "Modern AU" could mean other things, most of which I'm more interested in than what "Modern AU" is universally assumed to mean.

What yall mean is, like, "Modern Earth, No Magic, Alternate Universe Setting", which could have been turned into something unique and easy to read and filter like "memnaus"

But instead, it's like how the USA isn't actually the only country comprised of united states located in America, nor are its citizens the only "Americans". Imagine saying rectangle when you meant square, and expecting people to extrapolate. Is it accurate? Yes. But come on, man. Stop hogging words

What about AUs where it's the same setting but with modern amenities? (Elves in Rivendell with smartphones, Dragons getting scammed by bitcoin, there's a Starbucks on every corner in Jinlintai, dnd bards on tiktok, Link has a nintendo switch-- wait...)

What about AUs where it's modern earth but the characters are still whatever fantasy species and/or profession they started as? (Bilbo is a hobbit who lives in rural modern England, Leliana is actually French and Zevran is actually from Spain, everything is normal modern earth but Witchers just exist, Jiang Cheng lives in Yunmeng-- wait...)

What about characters from their original setting getting isekai-ed into our modern earth? That's an in-story modern alternate universe! (Shang Qinghua DOES leave and Mobei Jun fuckin follows him! King Arthur joins a Connecticut Baseball Team! Inuyasha falls through a portal and has to go to modern earth high school-- wait...)

Anyway "Modern AU" fans have fandom default privilege, and I'm cranky about language nuance. I feel like if these concepts had more well known differentiating terms, more people would think to write about them. Instead "Modern AU" means only "the characters, but stripped of their context"

Anyway anyway I propose:

"Modern Earth, No Magic, Alternate Universe Setting" or "Memnaus"

"Canon Universe With Amenities of Modern Earth" or "Cuwame"

"Modern Earth Setting, plus--" or "Mesp--" then you add whatever you're keeping, like "mesp fairies" or "mesp cultivators" or "mesp magic system"

"Isekai" is already a thing, I just think "canon character isekai-s to earth" should be more popular

Some of these need help, I encourage audience participation

[binghe-malewife-goals]

[Bingqiu/general]

Well might as well share my dream I had last night (note, i wrote this all down very quickly at 4 am so sorry for typos):

QJL is like a ruler or smth and Binghe is his brother (half-brother????)

Binghe and his mother are treated horribly by the kingdom's staff and qjl

Binghe is in love with Sqq but they are not in a relationship yet

Binghe wants to take down Qjl and tried to trick him by letting Binghe go off on some mission for Qjl (to find some jewel or smth? But actually binghe would find smth to take qjl down) but Qjl goes back on his agreement and tells everyone he is dead

Binghe comes back tho (after a month or smth) and sneaks back in once he realizes qjl tricked him. His mom is very happy to see him, but when Qjl realizes Binghe is back he continues to try and lock binghe out of the kingdom

Binghe keeps coming back tho, not only for his mother but also sqq (he believes qjl wants to take sqq as a concubine or smth) and to try and take qjl down

Binghe has some help from Mobei-jun and Sqh later on, the two joining him for some reason (probably to take qjl down)

One attempt to get back into the palace involved them climbing through pipes with oil (vividly remember an amused binghe hosing both Mobei-jun and Sqh down with some kind of clear liquid also from a pipe)

Qjl and a lot of the members in the palace are... crystal creatures? They look like normal humans and stuff, but instead of thriving off food and water they survive off of being around jewels (and also pretty discriminatory towards ppl who aren't jewel creature things, which is part of the reason why qjl and the staff tormented binghe and his mother so much)

Binghe (but also maybe sqq? I can't remember, but I think Binghe planned this with someone else) at some point sneaks in to qjl's baby prince's room and takes the very important nutritional out of the crib (can't remember why binghe did this either, but I'm pretty sure it was some kind of eye-for-an-eye situation. I don't think Binghe's mom was killed, but I do think Qjl did something horrible to her that set Binghe off)

Qjl freaks out cause for some reason only that specific jewel can give the baby the nutrition it needs to survive. Binghe is not found out, but Qjl is so pissed he send him to the dungeons anyway to rot away (mbj and sqh are also there but don't know why)

Sqh says it's very unlikely they'll be able to escape, but Binghe is stubborn because his not just gonna leave his mother and sqq behind like thag and tries to dig his way out, which takes a long time (and is very painful) but he succeeds.

Binghe stumbles upon Yqy (who is weirdly big in this au, think vampire lady from resident evil tall) and does some kind of favor for Yqy.

When Yqy and Binghe arrive at the palace, Yqy confronts Qjl who is shaking in his boots. Apparently, Qjl was never the actual ruler but just a stand-in until the real ruler returned.

From Sqq's mumbling in the background (cause he's a drama whore) Yqy is the real ruler (and Sj is implied to be the empress, but Qjl's kid wasn't from Sj but some random concubine).

Binghe pretty much tuned everything else once he sees Sqq, so ecstatic to see him and that everything will finally be over, he doesn't even process Sqq's mumblings and just goes over to kiss him

(Yes its implied Sqq is a transmigrator JDHH)