#Mocking

[petew21-blog]

The Bridgerton Scandal

“Dearest gentle reader, this author feels compelled to report the latest scandal in our society. A certain young gentleman has expressed his intention to seek a wife in this coming season. And who might that gentleman be but Mister Colin Bridgerton, newly returned to the ton after his travels abroad. Who, one may wonder, shall become the next fortunate young lady?”

Anthony sat by the fire, holding today’s edition of Lady Whistledown’s Society Papers. Not thinking much of it, his mind wandered from the paper to his forthcoming engagements, scarcely paying attention to the words before him. Suddenly, the door swung, his brother walked into the room visibly angry.

Colin:”Do you care to explain why Lady Whistledown feels the need to share the news that I am in search of a bride this season?”

Anthony muttering:”Who gives a damn what that hag and her infernal paper says.”

Colin:”Anthony, as far as I am aware I have no intention of marrying any time soon. Have you spoken to anyone about this matter?”

Anthony:”Indeed, I might have… mentioned it to Mother and Benedict as a suggestion of course.”

Colin:”And why would you do so without first speaking to me?”

Anthony:”Because I am the head of this family and it falls to secure advantageous matches for all my siblings. You, Benedict and Eloise are of age and must begin shouldering new responsibilities.”

Colin:”You ought to follow Daphne's lead and find someone for yourself, rather than attempting to sell us off like racehorses.” 

Colin was ready to leave the room, but Anthony was enraged now. Anthony got up and stormed towards Colin. 

Anthony:”Do you have any idea what it costs to maintain our property and this family? Every day that we waste our time doing nothing, we waste our money and our fortune. You strut about the ton like a peacock, desperate for attention, but with no intention to marry them. Well… You will do as I command.”

Colin:”What grants you the right to dictate the course of my life?”

Anthony:”My position as the Viscount.”

Colin:”Father would never have forced us into marriage against our will.” Colin said, frustrated and angry. 

Anthony:”Well, he is no longer here. So you will obey MY decisions.”

Colin:”I shall do no such thing!”

Anthony, full of rage, grabbed the nearest object to him, their father's relic from the cabinet. It was an old wooden box, mostly worthless. Their father never spoke of it. Kept it away from their reach. When Edmund died, there was no one to pass the knowledge of this old relic. Thinking nothing of it, he threw it swiftly at his brother’s back, hoping to hurt him.

But Colin turned swiftly and catched it, smirked and threw it with even stronger force at Anthony. The relic bounced off Anthony's back and fell on the ground. 

Colin left, heading into his room, while Anthony left the house into his favourite brothel. Maybe he would find a woman resembling Sienna to keep his mind off all of his duties and his younger sibling.

Next morning

Anthony woke up from having a bad dream, all sweaty and tense. He rose from the bed, hyperventilating. Something wasn't right. He looked at the window. The sun shone into his face, which was not unusual, given his windows faced east. Yet his bed should have placed the morning light at his right, not his left.

He drank an immeasurable amount of liquor last night, so he probably might have entered the wrong room after his return. Did he return? He remembered drinking in the middle of passionate sex with a prostitute.

He looked around. This looked like Colin's room, but no sign of Colin anywhere.

Anthony got up. Something felt really off. He decided to get himself a bath before seeing the rest of the family and filling his duties for the day.

Considering the fight he and his brother had last night, it might be better to find him and explain the situation. 

He turned around to grab clothes left on the bed. As he reached out his arm, he noticed it looked different. He looked at it. It was less hairy and a bit thinner than his own. Then he noticed his hands. Smaller. His eyes lowered to his chest.

“What in the…” he began speaking, but hasn't even finished his sentence. He recognised it. That voice was unmistakably Colin's voice. Why was Colin's voice coming out of his throat?!

Anthony looked around and found the nearest mirror. And in it, the reflection of his younger brother looked back at him mimicking his every movement. 

Colin woke up to the voice of a woman laughing.

He looked around. What was this place? And how did he get there?

Colin saw the naked woman in front of him. Smiling, giggling. Oh no, he was somehow in a brothel now.

Colin:”How did I get here?”

Woman:”Are you well, my viscount?”

Colin:”Viscount?!”

Woman laughed again:”I see you are still a bit drunk. Unfortunately your carriage awaits as you requested.”

Colin:”I have?”

Woman:”Yes, you said you don't want to be seen returning home late.”

Colin:”Oh…”

Woman:”I'll leave you to get dressed. Thank you for visiting us again, my Lord. I have had a great time.”

Colin couldn't believe what she was saying. Is this all a dream?

Colin swiftly got up and looked out of the window. The sun was rising. If he wanted to avoid any embarrassment from his brothers he should leave now. No matter how he got there.

He looked around the room for clothes, but suddenly felt his weight shift differently. He was used to his core strength being different. He felt heavier. He felt uneasy.

Colin looked down. “Bloody hell!” The surprising length between his legs was definitely something he was not used to. He looked at it. It was longer and the girth was really impressive. Had something happened to him overnight?

But the more he observed, he noticed his much thicker pubic hair. 

He looked back at his ass. “What the…” the perfectly formed ass was covered in a fur-like set of hairs all over.

Colin grabbed the clothes on the floor. He knew whose clothes these were. And by looking at the reflection in the window his suspicion was confirmed. 

“I'll kill Anthony for this!”

Benedict spent his morning as usual. Drinking tea after his late nights painting, drinking and having fun with others. He grabbed the Lady Whistledown left on the table. “What a sharp tongue you have. I wonder who you might be.”

Anthony in Colin's body, dressed in yesterday's clothing stormed into the room.

Anthony:”This must be a very sick joke you pulled on me brother! I might not know how you did this, but let me assure you revenge will be sweet.”

Benedict nonchalantly raised his brows and looked at who he assumed was Colin:”Had some nightmares little brother?” Benedict smiled.

Anthony:”Cut the act. This isn't something to laugh at. This is a serious matter. I have meetings I have to attend. Letters to answer to. A family to take care of.”

Benedict:”If I didn't know better, I would say you’d finally gone mad and started impersonating our dear brother.”

Anthony:”I am Anthony!”

Benedict laughed and without a word returned to the Lady Whistledown. 

At the very same moment, Anthony's body returned.

Anthony's new face turned red. “You! You stole my face!”

Colin:”Me?!? Why would I want to have to watch your stupid face in the mirror and have these ugly sideburns?!?”

Anthony ran at his former body, making Colin stumble an fall. They were rolling around fighting for the position on top to have advantage of the other one.

Anthony wanted to punch Colin with a fist, but Colin distracted him:”You wouldn't want to hurt your pretty face, now. Would you brother?” This made Anthony stop, but gave Colin enough time to throw him on the ground with his new bigger body.

Colin:”Seems like I’m the stronger brother now, right brother?”

Anthony growled:”You’ll regret this!”

Benedict stood above them and observed with curiosity. “Ok, enough or I'll call mother to set you straight.” After hearing the scary threat, they stropped. Both stood up, rearranging their clothes and looking at each other in disgust.

Benedict:”Do you care to explain to me what this is all about?”

Colin:”I woke up in a brothel. With no recollection how I got there. And then to my horror I found out I have Anthony’s face.”

Anthony:”Could be worse. Like waking up with your small cock.”

Colin:”I’ll punch you again!”

Benedict laughed. “Very well. So you two think, you’re each other? We’ll see about that. Colin, or I presume that’s you now Anthony, tell me what is the most humiliating moment? Something you’d never tell a soul, or least of all Colin.” Benedict smirked knowing that if they pulled this sort of a joke on him, this was a thing that Anthony would NEVER let Colin know.

Anthony in Colin’s body sighed:”Don’t make me say it out loud, please.”

Benedict got close to Anthony and gave him a chance to whisper it to his ear.

Benedict:”This can’t be! You two really are each other! But how? This shouldn’t be even possible.”

Colin:”We had a fight last night. Anthony decided to get us all out of this house, is that right, Anthony?”

Anthony:”I only told you what my concerns were and that you are of age to get married. So are you Benedict…”

Benedict:”All right, that’s a topic for another morning. What did you do after?”

Anthony:”I left to… cool off.”

Benedict:”Off course you did.”

Colin realised what they omitted. “You threw that old box at me!” He picked it up from the ground. “I caught it and threw it back at you!”

Anthony:”You think it caused us to…?”

Benedict nodded:”It’s worth a try.”

Colin threw the box at Anthony, but he missed and made it fall.

Colin:”What are you doing?!”

Anthony:”Your body is different from mine! So clumsy.”

Anthony picked it up and threw it back at Colin. But nothing happened. The two swapped brothers looked desperate.

Benedict:”All right, well let’s hide the box somewhere safe and we can try later on.” Colin wanted to hand the box to Benedict. “Are you quite mad?! You want to drag me into this mess too? I am not going to touch that thing.”

Colin put it on the shelf behind him, out of their younger siblings reach.

Anthony:”So what do we do now? I have meetings to attend to.”

Colin:”No, I do. I am Anthony now. You are now Colin and you can help out with the correspondence you’re always complaining about.”

Anthony sighed. “Will you, please, not embarass me? It is a very important meeting that might get us a very profitable deal. And, please, don’t eat anything I wouldn’t. I don’t want to return to my body being heavier and unable to see my manhood.”

Colin:”I’ll try not to embarass you, that I can promise. But I guess I will enjoy sweets more than I ever have in my life.”

Colin put a piece of chocolate in his mouth and left the room to get a carriage.

Benedict leaned next to Anthony:”I think that was for the comment on his size. Is it really?”

Anthony:”I can show you. I am used to a much higher standard than this worm.” 

Benedict:”Oh please do. I'm so curious.”

Anthony unbuckled the belt and let down his pants.

Benedict's eyes widened in shock. Benedict:”Good Lord… is that it?”

Anthony:”Awful, isn't it?”

Benedict:”I mean… it's not THAT small, but it is definitely unseen. I wonder if Colin thought about shaving. Might be easier to find it.” Benedict said in a mocking tone.

Anthony:”Maybe if I get it hard, it will look bigger.”

Benedict:”Yes, brother. And maybe if you water it twice a day it’ll grow by spring . I must admit, I had rather higher expectations from our bloodline. This must be… humbling.”

Anthony:”What should I do with this if we won't change back to ourselves?”

Benedict:”Probably sharpen that tongue of yours.”

Benedict couldn’t stop laughing for the next following minutes, thinking of the ways he could make this situation even more amusing.

Anthony sat down behind his desk watching the piles of correspondence. He never had enough time to get to it, always finding more entertaining duties. He exhaled and with his shit half opened, revealing his brother’s hairy torso, got into sorting it out.

One meeting after another, Colin found himself exhausted. No wonder, Anthony is so frustrated all the time. The conversations he had today gave him a headache he never had in his entire life.

“Shall I call for a carriage, my lord?” his servant asked gently.

“Yes, please. I am fatigued.” Colin responded, getting up and leaving the mansion he found himself in.

They rode for half an hour, but when they were approaching the house, the carriage did not slow down.

Colin:”Why are we not stopping?”

Servant:”We are going to the same place as usual, my lord. Or do you want us to not go there today?”

Colin smirked. Anthony always arrived late from his meetings, because he was in a brothel! Does he want to do the same thing? But he is his brother now. In his body, which is disgusting. But at the same time, it would be priceless to see Anthony’s reaction after he’d tell him, he fucked a prostitute with his body.

Colin:”No, carry on.” Colin smiled

The owner of the brothel showed him to the same room he woke up this morning. Entering, finding it empty, Colin took off his brother’s clothes.

Colin could smell Anthony’s sweat clinging to the fabric. “You reek, Anthony. This must definitely be a new way of torture.” he took off his shirt and looked at himself in the mirror. He hated the sideburns. “Ehh, I despise those sideburns.”

The door swung open. The same lady from the morning entered. “Miss me?”

Colin:”Of course.”

She pointed at the bed and Colin understood. As he laid down, the lady in front of him started stripping and throwing off her clothes. Colin felt as his new cock started getting hard.

He lowered his pants and revealed a much larger penis, than his body had.

Colin’s eyes widened. He took a grip of his new shaft and observed the veins and the head of his new large cock. The length of it couldn't be covered by the size of his hand. He gave it a go and played with the foreskin. He was so fixated on it that he completely forgot about the woman.

Woman:”Shall I leave you alone, my lord?”

Colin looked up, his hand still holding the cock. He laughed and dragged her by the hand to him.

The moans coming from the room were for the first time mostly coming from a man, instead of a woman.

Colin:”Don’t you think this is a bit too much? Altering his looks?”

Benedict:”I think it’s perfect, ANTHONY. You said you wanted a change and hated the sideburns anyway. Didn’t you?” Benedict reminded his little brother of the presence of the staff in the room.

Colin:”It seems a bit too much. It was only a size comment.”

Benedict:”Are you forgetting your argument from last night? We should remind our brother his words. Besides, size matters, brother. Thought I daresay you’re only just discovering that.”

Anthony entered the room. Benedict and Colin, in his body, sat on the sofa with a mischievous look. And then Anthony noticed the sideburns.

Anthony:”You didn’t!”

Colin:”I did.”

Anthony:”I would have never…”

Colin:”You would.”

Anthony:”You’ll pay for this.”

Colin:”We’ll see about that. Could I remind you something, my LITTLE brother?”

Anthony:”Remind me what? And if you’re suggesting that I have a small cock now, don’t forget it’s your cock!”

Colin and Benedict leaned their head in unison and smirking, clearly planning something ominous.

The three of them continued their afternoon journey in a carriage.

Anthony took off the shirt to put on another one that wasn’t so sweaty.

Anthony:”So who else do we have on the list of your potential brides, Colin?”

Colin:”You really got into the role. And it's YOUR list, Anthony and they are your potential brides. You’re me now. And you said last night that I should get married very soon.” Colin said with a smile in Anthony’s body, making Benedict chuckle next to him.

Anthony:”I don’t know when the two of you started conspiring against me, but I will get back at you for this. As soon as I am back in my body…”

Benedict:”If you get back.” Benedict winked at Anthony, making him furious before his next meeting.

The Bridgerton family spent their afternoon in the local park. Colin seemed extremely pleased with himself, while Anthony couldn't wait to somehow get back at his brothers. Colin spoke to the ladies, bragging about being a viscount and hinting at his size.

Anthony took Colin aside to talk at the pier alone. “Colin, bloody hell, what are you doing?!? You want to ruin my reputation?”

Colin:”Oh come on brother. You should be proud. I am making you famous among the ladies.”

Anthony:”You have to stop this instant. People might get suspicious.”

Colin:”You know, I was wondering if I should visit that girl of yours in the brothel.”

Anthony:”What are you…”

Colin:”When I visited earlier today, to fulfill your regular schedule, the woman from last night told me about her. What was her name? Sienna? She must have been fabulous by what she told me about you visiting her all the time.”

Anthony couldn't keep his temper. No matter the embarrassment or whose body he was in. Anthony pushed Colin into the lake. 

This impulsive act caused all the people around to gather nearby. Colin got out of the water. The soaked white shirt, now transparent, completely revealed Anthony’s muscular and hairy chest for all the people around to see. Gasps and giggles could be heard from all over.

While Colin climbed the pier, Anthony already received scolding from Lady Bridgerton.

Colin looked up at Anthony leaving the park and decided that shaving off his sideburns won't be the worst thing he'd do to Anthony's body.

Colin and Benedict were having another drink together while gossiping about their brother.

Anthony entered the room.

Anthony:”I came to apologise. What I did on the pier was impulsive and childish. Please, accept my apology.”

Colin, already tipsy from the alcohol:”Does that even count Benedict? When he's just apologising to himself? I think that shouldn't count. Don't you think?”

Benedict:”I think not. It doesn't seem sincere.”

Antlook's eyebrows lowered in a scolding way looking at Benedict. He turned back at Colin:”I came to you, Colin. Whether you accept or not is entirely up to you.”

Colin:”I think that your body accept the apology. Speaking of your body. I do have a question on my mind. Why is your ass so hairy? And how do you manage your hygiene? Don't you get like some pieces left there?” Colin said with a mischievous look on his face, smirking at his face looking back at him.

Benedict was now in tears.  Unable to say a single word.

Anthony looked at the both of them, straightened his back and confidently spoke up:”You two can mock me all you want, but do not forget that I am still in your body and just as much as you are embarrassing me now, I can embarass you.”

Benedict:”How?”

Anthony:”I could engage in a romantic encounter with a fellow man. That would definitely get a front page in the next Whistledown.”

Anthony turned his back at them and left the room, leaving them stunned.

Benedict:”Well this all just got even more interesting than I even hoped for.”

The next morning, Benedict woke up the two of them quite early.

Benedict:”Gentlemen, get ready. I relaised that we have a one time opportunity to settle an argument. Meet me at the garden in 10 minutes.”

Both got dressed and arrived to the garden to see that Benedict has prepared a fencing gear.

Anthony:”Benedict, what is this? Why now?”

Benedict:”Fencing. You are always bragging how you can beat anyone solely based on your technique. Now is your chance to prove it. And why now? Why not, the two of you will fight for the rest of the day, so we may as well get on with it early in the morning. Shall we?”

Colin and Anthony accepted.

Benedict:”And the winner is indeed Anthony. Once again. Anthony held out his hand and shook it with his own body. He sat down on the bench.

Anthony:”I told you it was about technique. You didn't believe me. Now I got a proof.”

Colin:”Proof of what?”

Anthony:”That I'm better than you two.”

When Colin beat Benedict, he decided to sit down next to Anthony. Benedict sensed the tension and left them alone.

Colin:”I'm sorry for the sideburns.”

Anthony:”Don't be. I truly look better without them. You were right. I'm sorry for the comments. It wasn't right.”

Colin:”No, you're right. I'm not that endowed as you are. Which is a very pleasant change, I must say.”

Anthony:”It's very strange that we are two brothers talking about each other's private parts, isn't it?”

Colin:”It truly is.” Colin laughed.

Anthony:”Did you enjoy having an intercourse in my body?”

Colin:”I have. Your body is very well built. And your… cock is magnificent. Did you try mine out?”

Anthony:”Haven't had the chance. I was startled by the size difference.”

Colin:”It's actually not that different from having your larger one. You just have to know what you're doing.”

Anthony:”Are you trying to say that I have it easier to have an intercourse ?”

Colin:”Try it out and we can compare later, if you're up for it.”

Anthony:”Sounds like a challenge.” he said with a smirk and amused face expression.

Colin accompanied Anthony to the brothel. Not that Anthony wouldn't be able to find it, being a regular customer, but they didn't know Colin's face.

Anthony:”Tell them to get me Jennifer. She'll be considerate if I fail.”

Colin:”You will not fail. I will.”

Anthony left Colin in the entrance hall and headed to the room. Jennifer was ready on the bed, waiting to be fucked. Anthony took off his shirt and nervously hyperventilated.

Jennifer:”First time?”

Anthony:”Something like that…” he dropped his pants and watched Jennifer's reaction. 

Jennifer:”Oh don't worry, darling. You're in very good hands.Anthony's, or Colin's cock was getting hard. And although the size was not impressive, now it was easier to imagine that this thing could please someone.

Anthony entered his bedroom where Colin was lying naked in the covers.

Anthony:”Where did you go last night? I thought you wanted to have fun.”

Colin:”I wasn't feeling it last night. I went back home. But tell me about your night.”

Anthony sat down:”It was incredible. I never knew that pleasing each other orally with a woman was just as entertaining as penetration.”

Colin:”See, there are more ways to have intercourse.”

Anthony:”I know that of course. But even the intercose was Interesting. She guided me and we both had a great time.”

Anthony looked around the room. The clothes were tossed everywhere. The covers were messy. His body was sweaty and panting.

Anthony:”Why are you so out of breath?”

Colin:”I… I did not want to enjoy the company of a woman last night, because I wanted to enjoy your… manhood all for myself.”

Anthony suddenly realised that he might have interrupted him during the act. “Oh… I am sorry? This is a very strange situation. I'll leave.”

Colin put his arm behind his head. “You know what brother. I still feel like I could get some tips on this large thing from the original owner. Care to join me?”

Anthony was visibly shaken by Colin's proposal.

Colin:”It's not like we haven't seen each other before.”

Anthony closed the door, took off his clothes and went to the other side of the bed.

Anthony:”I guess we’d just be exploring just like when we were children.”

Colin:”I have never done that.”

Anthony:”You haven’t? Me and Benedict did, all the time.”

Colin:”You never included me.”

Anthony:”Well you were much younger then we were. And after we stopped exploring the possibilities, we found out that we can do many interesting things with women.”

They were now next to each other, both naked. Anthony broke the tension.

Anthony gripped his smaller penis and started pleasing himself. His smaller cock began to grow. 

Anthony:”It’s really not that bad as I imagined.”

Colin:”Of course it isn't. It’s about skill. Here, let me show you.” Colin let go of his bigger penis and moved Anthony’s hand. He spat into his hand and twisted it around the whole thing. Anthony started moving around in pleasure. “Wait, wait, how did you…?”

Colin:”You gotta learn the tricks if you don’t have the advantages.”

Anthony tried it himself and almost collapsed. “I swear this thing is even more sensitive than my own.”

Colin:”I do have one thing to ask you.”

Anthony:”What is it?”

Colin:”Have you thought about trimming this hairy ass of yours?”

Anthony:”Why on earth would I do so?”

Colin:”While on my travels abroad, I met a woman who showed me something very interesting. Maybe I could show you as well, If you dare?”

Anthony hesitated. “Depends on what it is…”

Colin:”Even if it may be an unclean way of pleasure, I assure you, you have never felt like this before.” Colin got close to Anthony and once again spit on his hands, but this time he spread the saliva on his fingers. His fingers were getting close to Anthony’s ass. Colin maintained eye contact with Anthony the entire time.

Anthony:”Wait I…”

Colin:”Trust me. And if not me, trust yourself, literally.”

Colin pushed his fingers inside slowly, giving Anthony time to adjust. And finally finding the right oval structure, stimulating it, increasing in speed.

Anthony had to place a pillow in his mouth to not scream out loud in pleasure. He didn’t even notice that his dick got hard and in a few moments, hot white liquid came shooting out of it on his belly.

Anthony had to catch his breath, while Colin smiled. 

Colin:”Amazing, right?”

Anthony couldn’t believe what a wave of pleasure just swept him. The two spend the next hours talking more about Colin’s experiences on his travels, while Anthony showed his own tips to Colin.

The Bridgerton's found themselves at a ball beginning another season. Only a few days after the exchange, the brothers settled their differences, now being closer, but still in the wrong bodies.

Anthony approached Colin. “So which one of us is winning?”

Colin:”Winning?”

Anthony:”How many women has my body had intercourse with, with you in charge?”

Colin:”Three, maybe four. Depends how you count if it's at the same time.”

Anthony smiled. “I'm only at three. You’re in the lead.”

Colin only smiled back, feeling the bittersweet feeling of missing his body and life.

Anthony:”Listen, Colin. If we exchange, I will stop pushing you into marriage. You will find a magnificent bride and make her a happy woman. When you will be ready. And if we don't exchange, I hope you'll do the same for me.” Anthony and Colin laughed together out loud. Anthony left to ask Penelope to dance with him.

As Colin watched them leave, he couldn't but smile at the development of his brother's opinion.

On the next morning the two brothers woke up in the original bodies. They met up half way down the hall, undressed, but happy to be themselves once again.

The only person who was not happy was their brother Benedict. Being the only one who knew about the exchange, gave Benedict the opportunity to mess with the brothers and help them plot against each other.

The comments about the amount of hair, sizes and mocking of their previous situation didn't stop from Benedict. This led the brothers to step up and get revenge on their brother.

While sleeping, the two brothers brought their father's relic in a napkin.

Anthony wanted to touch Benedict's hand and then touch someone from the staff to get proper revenge on Benedict. 

But as he and Colin argued, who from the staff should it be, the relic slipped from the napkin, filling next to Benedict.

Without realising what they have done, they left the room, giggling.

If only they had known that if not touched by another person, the one touching jr would exchange with the original owner at the time the person touched it as well.

That's why Benedict soon found himself shirtless in a field holding the box. 

Not only in a different body…

but a different time.

A story requested from a friend who wants to remain anonymous

[yridenergyridenergy]

Kaoru imitating Shinya's dynamic drumming at the end of the show. These are in real speed!

[seaside-writings]

Prompt #1,182

"So much trouble over something so meaningless,"

[postmodernbobs]

[gifs-of-puppets]

The Muppet Show (1976-1981)

[netscapenavigator-official]

"Tumblr’s competitive advantage lies in its unique content [that we banned] and vibrant communities [that we disproportionately targeted]."

[viaticpancakes]

Why is the term "disney adult" even a thing? I never see it used in a kind way. It's always mocking someone for their interests. Like, LMM did Encanto and Moana so why is it okay to like Hamilton but to not be moved by Moana? And what about like the attachment to stories? I loved Lilo and Stitch and I have a kid who loves it and I can't wait to watch the live action with them. Why do we have to crap on people for appreciating the work of filmmakers, writers, composers, producers. You realize that adults worked on this stuff and it's a passion project for them too. The time and dedication to make a movie like NBC should be appreciated.

[tightsweatyclothes]

"Okay, now do a double peace sign, and make it cute!"

"MMMMPH!" (Please, let me out, it's hot and stinky and itchy!)

"What?"

"MMMMMPH!!"

"I think she's enjoying it. Just one more hour and we'll have a break for lunch. Will you be having lunch with us?"

"MM, MMNN!"

"Guess that's a no."

"We can keep her in the storage cage if she doesn't want lunch."

"Sure, but she has the 5km charity run in the afternoon."

"MMMMNN???"

"We can always let her out after that. Remember the hydration bags, all five of them, we don't want her fainting on us."

"Think she'll want to take off her suit?"

"Nah, she's been fine with it these few weeks, haven't you?"

"MMMMMMMMMPPPH!"

"See? She loves it."

[momentsbeforemass]

Ignoring Jesus

Welcome to another episode of ignoring stuff that Jesus said.

Sometimes it seems like social media is little more than an outrage machine. Where everything you see is someone reacting negatively to something.

Whether it’s an obvious spittle-flecked rant. Or it’s done as a meme. Or it’s a joke that isn’t really a joke. The spirit behind it’s the same.

The reactions these things get? Either mindless shares. Or mocking.

Which just creates more outrage. Followed by more reactions. Like a machine that would go of itself.

While our current tech-driven version is relatively new, the outrage machine (and our love of it) is as old as humanity.

To our love of the outrage machine, Jesus has this to say, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.”

Not “If your brother sins against you, lash out in anger.”

Not “If your brother sins against you, mock him.”

Not even “If your brother sins against you, correct him in public.” Not at first.

Today’s Gospel tells us the steps to take, before ever correcting someone in public.

Most of us ignore those steps. And go right to the public part.

We dump the correction part. Because anger and mocking are a lot easier. And a lot more fun.

We like the rush of the outrage machine way too much to waste our time with all of that Jesus stuff.

But if the words of Jesus ever do get through to us? We’re pretty good at rationalizing them away.

“I’m just telling it like it is.”

Don’t kid yourself.

“I’m just doing it to see how people react.”

No, you’re not.

“It’s just somebody on the Internet.”

Just somebody made in the likeness and image of God. Just somebody who Jesus looks at and says, “even if you’re the only one who needs saving, Good Friday would still happen.”

Which gets us to the whole point of Jesus non-public spectacle approach. To why Jesus says, “If he listens to you, you have won over your brother.”

Jesus’ approach isn’t about being better or better informed than someone. Or even about being right. Much less the addictive pull of the outrage machine. And make no mistake, it is addictive.

Jesus’ approach is all about saving people. About restoring relationships.

About things that can never be achieved with anger or mockery. Things that the outrage machine can never give us.

Jesus’ approach is all about doing it the only way that ever works in the long run.

In the love of God.

Today’s Readings

[st4rs1ut]

itd be nice if someone were to get me all nice n drugged up and sleepy n try to make me do regular things like hump a pillow or suck them off but m js so high n out of it my poor lil brain cant compute anything n theyd coo and laugh and ruffle my hair n patronize me n then end up manhandling me through doing it bc m js too stupid n dumb to be able to do anything but lay there n take whatever they give me.. like its not mandatory but it would be much appreciated

[evilhorse]

I’m still annoyed by the mocking

(Shazam #1)

[gale-gentlepenguin]

I still think about how Ash Got Hoe'd so hard in Sinnoh.

Tobias, the motherf***er with the Darkrai AND Latios, Shows up. Sweeps with his legendaries and than vanishes.

Tobias was so OP he basically won the entire tournament only revealing 2 of his 6 pokemon!

It took Ash using half his team (Sceptile hard carrying) to defeat the Darkrai. But then the guy reveals his Latios!

Yet when Journies happens he is no where to be seen. YOU TELLING ME HE DOESNT EVEN HAVE A RANK?

He is just gone!?

Either Tobias got taken out by the Pokemon league for hoarding Legendaries, or He just never thought the Master League was worth his time.

Cause I dont care WHO is in that Masters class. Tobias would have SLAMMED those fools.

[artandthebible]

Christ Crowned with Thorns

Artist: Dirck van Baburen (Dutch, 1595–1624)

Date: 1621-1622

Medium: Oil on Canvas

Collection: The Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art, Kansas City, Missouri, United States

Description

Figural composition of six 3/4-length male figures pressed to front of picture plane against dark background with large fluted column in left half; Christ, right, with head bent towards center, chest bared wearing red cloak wrapped around left arm and waist; two peasant-type figures behind Christ, right and left, pressing thorns into his head; at left, group of three figures; two guards, one in foreground leaning back with left hand on pole facing proper left toward second guard who turns to face him, figure in red hat and cloak visible between the two guards.

Biblical Narrative

The Soldiers Mock Jesus | Matthew 27:27-29, NIV Then the governor’s soldiers took Jesus into the Praetorium and gathered the whole company of soldiers around him. They stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, and then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on his head. They put a staff in his right hand. Then they knelt in front of him and mocked him. “Hail, king of the Jews!” they said.

[tightsweatyclothes]

The new waitress, Alicia, stands at the outdoors area, waiting for the table to give their order. Unfortunately, this table comprises her former college friends, gathered just for the purpose of tormenting her. They make their order with many taunts and giggles, and she resists the urge to flare up, staring straight ahead even as sweat tickles the inside of her uniform all over. After selecting their orders on the tablet, she bows, eliciting another round of laughter from the table. She casts a pleading glance at Elsie, her erstwhile best friend, and Elsie only blows a mocking kiss, laughs at her helplessness. She brings plate after plate of steaming hot food to the table, and her stomach growls, her saliva drips out into the mask and down her chin, making the suit that much worse to endure. For the whole night, she is assigned to their table, and can only stare miserably as they eat and drink and chat about their lives, unable to even scratch at the suit where it is sticky and itching as they discuss their hobbies, their future plans, their partners, letting her have a teasing glimpse of the life which she can now never have.

[jalicefanficblog]

Can you do a B7 (Seven/B'Elanna) Reg, where Seven breaks into B'Elannas private Quarters and they end up in Bed together? 

-> I sure can! Let´s give B7 some special Cotton Candy Surprise!    

  Cotton Candy

B'Elanna Torres was still in the engine room long after her shift had ended. She had been told to go and enjoy her evening, but something inside the half-Klingon told her that if she left her workplace without completing the task she was working on, everything would go down the drain.

After she had satisfactorily completed the task and checked once again that the shift that was now responsible for the engine room was doing everything right and would not cause a catastrophe while she was enjoying her evening - the spirited lady left the engine room and made her way to her quarters. 

Her thoughts revolved around Tom Paris for a while. 

The pilot boy had asked her out on a date several times - but Lana had no interest in someone who, like her, was always looking for arguments, breaking the rules and constantly throwing compliments around as if they were money. 

No, if he continued like this, Lana was sure that she would slap him. Otherwise Paris would not learn.

But now she wanted to go to her quarters first, she wanted to take a shower and then maybe drink some wine - of course the replicated wine didn't come close to the Klingon blood wine - twice as strong as whiskey and B'Elanna really likes this drink - but unfortunately it only tastes good on the home world or when it is made by someone who knows what they are doing.

When the half-Klingon entered her quarters, she noticed that something was different than usual - the light in her bedroom was on and that made the fighter suspicious.

 With her hands clenched into fists, she wanted to make her way to her bedroom when Seven of Nine turned the corner.

"What are you doing in my quarters!"-  Lana snapped at the former Borg drone and was angry and outraged at first that the blonde was in here.

In secret, however, during the time that Seven had been on the ship, Torres had started to develop feelings for the emotionless, exhausting woman. 

They were complete opposites and Lana was reminded of a saying from her grandparents - opposites attract - but that had absolutely nothing to do with the seriousness of the situation. 

Lana wanted to know what Seven was doing here and what gave the attractive lady , the right to break into her quarters like that. So the half-Klingon wanted an answer from the blonde.

"I've been waiting for you," was Seven's answer and Lana noticed a strange undertone in the answer.

"That doesn't give you the right to come into my quarters - how did you get in here, Seven!" Lana wanted to know and didn't know whether she should laugh at the situation or react angrily.

"I bypassed the security code to your quarters and thus gained access - this is for you"

Seven held out a bright pink cotton candy hanging on a wooden stick to the astonished chief engineer and Lana thought it was a bad joke.

 Was Seven's explanation of why she had come here and broken into her quarters - a little cotton candy that she should try.

"Don't hold the cotton candy in my eyes", growled Lana, not really understanding the motives of the pretty blonde - who would definitely look extremely beautiful with her hair down. 

Nevertheless, the dark-haired woman took the wooden stick with the cotton candy and waited in vain for an answer from Seven.

Of course, Lana could have simply thrown the former Borg drone out herself - but the following words, which Seven then deigned to say - changed Lana's mind.

"The composition of the cotton candy is a special, modified one - it strengthens certain emotional regions and - it could help you with your problems - a shower would do the trick too - even if you seem attractive",  said Seven and only seemed to have realized the last part of her sentence seconds later - she wanted to correct it, but the broad grin on the half-Klingon's face already spoke volumes.

"I knew you found me attractive - doesn't that go against your logical way of thinking?",  Lana smirked and found it amusing , that Seven wanted to try to correct her statement. 

Maybe her words meant something - maybe they weren't just a sentence that Seven had stored away at some point.

"You'll get an answer - if you try the cotton candy," the blonde said after a few seconds, trying to negotiate a compromise.

"Why should I do that?" Lana replied, looking first at the cotton candy and then at Seven's waiting face - who had blinked - wait, was that supposed to be a seductive wink?

"Have you seen a ghost?" Seven asked and a short

An amused smile appeared on her face. Maybe it really was the cotton candy - or Seven had simply thought of the emotion-enhancing part, because the pink, fluffy-looking thing on the stick smelled like absolutely normal cotton candy to Lana and the pink color didn't seem to have anything abnormal about it.

"There's one in front of me - and it's exhausting," Lana murmured before she deigned to eat some of the cotton candy.

It tasted sweet, was sticky and triggered something in the combative lady. Not only because she always ate it at fairs as a child and it gave her a nice, safe feeling.

And Torres saw again how incredibly much she felt for Seven.

 Despite the Borg implants she still had to wear, she was a very attractive young woman.

"I think I understand what you mean, Seven," said Lana and her brown eyes suddenly sparkled seductively. 

Whether her emotions were heightened or not, she noticed again that her feelings for Seven were getting stronger and Lana could see the same sparkle in the blonde's blue eyes. 

It was like an automatic process that was activated - both of them cautiously walked towards each other.

B'Elanna quickly put the cotton candy on the nearest table and then devoted her full attention to Seven. Forgotten was the fact that she actually wanted to be angry with Seven - because she was in her quarters without permission - because the way Seven looked at her - she seemed to feel the same way and definitely not because of the cotton candy.

"Don't be afraid"-  Lana whispered to the blonde, who wanted to hold out her hand but still hesitated.

"I'm Borg - being afraid is irrelevant - I just don't want to break your arm with one quick movement",  Seven replied and this typical sentence only made Lana grin for a few seconds, but then she grabbed Seven's hand and pulled her a little closer to her. 

Lana was surprised that Seven let her do it without resistance.

 And now the former Borg drone seemed to have no problem with wanting to touch, because she carefully ran her free hand, which was not being held by Lana, over the half-Klingon's cheek and then brushed one of her short brown strands of hair out of her face.

"You awaken emotions in me just with your look, your manner and your body - what is the correct next step?" , Seven wanted to know in a quiet whisper, and desire and devotion now sparkled in her blue eyes.

"That is the correct next step"

Lana put her hands around Seven's neck, leaned forward a little and then kissed the blonde.

Seven was surprised by the quick action, the unusual demanding pressure on her lips and the positive feeling that spread through her. Well, the thing about the cotton candy was a lie - but not that she felt anything emotional for the half-Klingon - and Seven liked what was happening one hundred percent. She returned the kiss and felt the desire grow. 

After a few seconds they separated their lips and Seven looked into the cheeky, sparkling brown eyes that prevented her from thinking logically and relevantly.

"You would look so beautiful with your hair down," Lana breathed to her after a kiss on the neck and with a clever, quick and somehow skillful movement opened the hair clips that held Seven's long blonde hair together in a tight braid. 

This fell with a swing over the shoulders of the former Borg drone and a brief smile appeared on Seven's lips - before she grabbed Lana's butt and let out a quiet growl.

"If my conclusions are correct - and they will be - the next procedure will end with a dislocated arm and bruises - this feeling as if my abdomen wanted to pop out from the inside - what is it?" Seven wanted to know and let out a quiet gasp - she didn't know that it was desire - the desire to do something with Lana right now and right away.

"Let's find out - maybe it will just end up in  bruises - but something tells me you'll be good in Bed Seven - come on, just follow me!" - ana whispered to Seven and pulled the former Borg drone into the bedroom.

                                                    THE END