#Self-Aware Atsushi

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

Atsushi Nakajima (self-aware)

Self-Aware! Atsushi Nakajima x GN!Reader

Warning: Yandere. OOC. Slight spoilers for Atsushi's past. Atsushi almost had an existential crisis, English is my second language.

Becoming self-aware

🐯 Atsushi was the first character who gained self-awareness.

🐯 When Atsushi realised he was a fictional character, he was devastated and confused.

🐯 His past in the orphanage... Does it have any meaning? Or was it all just for someone's entertainment? Has he even been abused by the orphanage director? Was he even a child? Or he just appeared on the river bank with memories of events that never occurred?

🐯 And his new friends? Were they alive? Or they were puppets, forced to say the same lines?

🐯 Thankfully, other characters soon become self-aware and Atsushi wasn't alone anymore, but damage has already been done.

🐯 And then he felt an entity's presence.

_________________________________________

At first, Atsushi thought, that he finally lose it. He won't be surprised, really. Atsushi couldn't even be sure, that he could be considered human at that point, so, the feeling of being watched just tagged along with Atsushi's anxiety and dread.

Soon, Atsushi realised, that it wasn't him going mad. Someone was watching him and other members of ADA. Everyone noted, that they felt someone's presence.

Yes, Atsushi could pretend, that Dazai was playing along, pretending, he also felt been watched, but, Atsushi admitted, that Dazai would never do that. And then Kunikida and President Fukuzawa admitted, that they feel someone's gaze on them.

And they weren't been watched all the time. The presence were there only when something interesting were happening. Like something, or someone, was doing it for its own entertainment. Like it was watching the TV show.

They weren't going mad. Someone was watching them. It wasn't the ability. It was someone not from Yokohama.

This someone came from outside.

And time resets.

Atsushi, once again, was on the river bank.

________________________________________

When they start feeling your presence

🐯 Atsushi was scared of you. Were you the one who did it? Were you the one, who emptied the streets of Yokohama?

🐯 Atsushi was angry at you. Were you doing it for your own amusement? Were you making them believe they were fictional characters?

🐯 And now you reset time. Are you a god? Are you a demon? Are you an evil spirit? Why are you doing it? Who give you the right to play with their lives?

🐯 Atsushi saved Dazai from the river, again. And then Atsushi felt it. The entity cheered. The entity was... praising him? For doing a good job? No, for doing the right thing. For been a good person.

"You [|||||||||||||] good [||||||||||], Atsushi! Don't [||||||||||||]!

🐯 Atsushi can recognise all the words But it was clear, that entity's feelings and words were genuine. And really strong. Atsushi felt, like he was covered with something warm. With the softest blanket.

🐯 Atsushi saw, that both Dazai and Kunikida felt the same. During their dinner in a tea house, all of them felt it. The entity was amused with Dazai's antics. The entity was intrigued by Kunikida's combat skills.

🐯 But, the most important thing happened in the warehouse, when Atsushi, once again, talked to Dazai about his past in the orphanage.

_________________________________________

"At the orphanage, people always told me I'm worthless. I have no idea where my next meal will come from or my next bed. No one would care if I died on the street. I might as well just let that beast eat me and be done with it."

As soon as this words left Atsushi's mouth, he heard sobs.

The entity was crying. Atsushi felt something warm on his cheek. Like someone was petting him.

[In reality, you are gently petting manga's panel with Atsushi.]

Atsushi recognised some words.

"poor Atsushi" "monsters" "with a child" "how dare they".

And then, clear as day.

"I am sorry, I can't take your pain away."

🐯 Atsushi felt that his anger dissapeared. He doesn't know, who are you. What are you. But he knew one thing. You cared.

🐯 Their story continues. Soon all characters heard something nice from you. The union was formed. All organisations decided to work together to find more about you and find a way to reach out for you.

And then, one day, the purple moon shined above Yokohama.

When you installed BSD Mayoi Inu Kaikitan

🐯 Atsushi was your first character. From now on, he heared you nice and clear.

"You are the good person, Atsushi! You are stronger, than you think. Don't let others say you otherwise."

"Wow! You did so much damage! You are so cool, Atsushi!"

"Here, let's raise your level!"

🐯 You praised him. You were glad, he is with you.

🐯 Atsushi felt aful that he hated you. You were so kind. And when others uncovered, that you were a simple person, who had no idea they were alive, Atsushi felt even worse. He thought you were something supernatural and bad. And you were someone normal and kind.

🐯 Atsushi want to protect you. To be near you. He and others will find a way to you world. They will be with you. Until then, they have this game to talk to you.

____________________________

You opened the BSD Mayoi. You decide to check, if there was new gifts from the office. You saw, that you had a new gift in your Gift box. Thinking, that you forgot to collect something, you tap on Gift box icon.

It was a message.

"Dear [Y/N], Thanks for been near. Thanks for been kind. I will find a way to pay for your kindness. For now, acsept this. Atsushi Nakajima."

There was 50 moons attached to the message.

You thought, that it was nee feature in a game. That time to time characters will send players messagers, thanking them. You acsept gift and open character menu. You choose Atsushi's card and pet his chibi sprite.

"Thanks for the gift, Atsushi."

You didn't notice, that sprite blushed.

[ay-chuu]

Self aware!characters. Gn!reader. Not yandere but... possessive aim to... get real? C.ai mentioned. (Secretly) and pls be nice this is my first attempt to write self aware 😔🤞🏼reblogs and comments are appreciated 🫡

( HELLO! IF YOU SEE THIS POST AGAIN ITS BECAUSE THAT THIS POST IS A REPOST DUE TO TAG BAN! SORRY FOR INTERRUPT!)

~◇~

He hated how your world is too small. Too small to reach you. He felt millions of gazes on him, millions of love to decleared to him, but still he cant reach to you.

You were a usual reader too, at first. He was annoyed by another... 'stalker's intreaction to read him through game/manga. He hated how accessible he was. He hated how coded he was... but then he heard your voice for the first time as you sighed.

"That stupid scene... Is characters are just toys to the author or something else?" You wondered.

He wanted to be read by you from then. He wanted to known by you. He wanted to learn every reaction you gave to him. Hopefully only to him... at least in a romantic way...

Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months and months turned to years... He felt so tired to be not reached by only you, but everyone. He felt so tired to be not able to reach you. He felt so tired to feel angry.

What he could to though? He tried every method to be real for you. To you be real for him. He added small details to your pursue which you were shocked by know, but always though you were going mad since you didnt saw the same info in web... He always tried to be his sincere though the bots you talked to as him but always failed since you deleted the chats... He even hacked your phone for a time being, to show you his love with writing a letter through you notes but which made him failed again since you thought it was a joke from your friends or something else like that.

He was angry. He didn't wanted to be revealed to anyone else but you. He didn't wanna be a cool character, unless you thought so too...

And he promised himself; that it doesn't matter how many times he tries to reach you through the bots, through the pages, through the screen or through the anything.

He just wanted be real for you.

He promised himself, to reach you, to find you, to love you.

To feel your reality, in your reality.

~♡~

《 ~ ☆ (Bsd) Ranpo, Sigma, FYODOR, Dazai, Chuuya, GOGOL, Akutagawa, Atsushi, Jouno ; (LnD) XAVIER, Zayne, Rafayel ; (BNHA) Bakugou, SHIGARAKI ; (Twst) MALLEUS, Rook, Riddle ; (DC) Jason Todd, Dick grayson ; (Obey me) Lucifer, DIAVOLO, BARBATOS, SOLOMON ; (Genshin) Xiao, Neuvilette, SCARAMOUCHE ... And your faves... 》

maybe part 2?

[oikasugayama]

what about a bsd chart for falling in love?

i can't help falling in love with you

Dazai is prone to falling in love at first sight. He sees a pretty girl, or a handsome guy, and does everything in his power to get their attention. It's different when you come along, though. You fly under his radar for a while; it's not that you're not his type, it's that he doesn't realize it at first. As he gets to know you he realizes more and more how much he likes talking to you; how attractive he thinks you are; how much he relishes in your attention. You know his reputation and try to steer clear of his charms, but you're not entirely successful. You vow not to tell him, though, because you don't want to get your heart broken. That makes the surprise of his confession all the more potent. It's proper, it's sincere, and it's real.

Akutagawa is more surprised than you are when he confesses. Love isn't something he thought he'd have the pleasure of experiencing. His life has been difficult, its been deadly, and its been dark, but meeting Atsushi made him more thoughtful and less violent, and then when he met you he felt like he was experiencing something brand new. It was exciting. It was confusing. It was beautiful. You liked him as well, of course, but you vowed not to tell him because you didn't think he had romantic interests and you didn't want to make him pull away from the little friendship you had developed. His confession is a pleasant surprise.

Poe falls in love easily. All it takes is someone being nice to him and showing interest in his writing, and he's done for. For you to regularly read his stories and genuinely praise and critique them, and for you to enjoy spending time with him even if it's spent doing nothing--it means the world to him. He confesses to you via poetry. He writes you a lovely dramatic poem about a lonely man who meets a person who brightens his world. It's obvious it's about you--his nervousness and shaking hands gives it away. You're so excited. You liked him too, a lot, but weren't sure if you should tell him yet. You're glad he took the decision out of your hands.

Nikolai and Fyodor are similar when it comes to love. They are best friends, after all (according to Nikolai anyway). They have a philosophy that some think is... wrong or outdated, but it works for them when they want to get you. It goes like this: they see you, they want you, they get you. Literally. Either of them would lure you in and capture you. He'll explain his grand love for you, and even if you escape, he'll find you again and again. He'll wear you down until you love him or it kills you. Whichever comes first.

Sigma, having only recently become a person, doesn't know what extreme emotions feel like. When he starts to fall in love with you, he thinks he's sick or dying because of the way his heart rate increases, and the way he gets shaky and nervous when you come around. He thinks you may be using an ability on him. He doesn't confront you right away, because he really doesn't want to think you'd hurt him--he really, really likes you otherwise. You're so kind and thoughtful and helpful. You don't use him and leave him like others in his life. Once he finally realizes that he's in love with you, it weighs heavily on his mind and stays there. Should he tell you? Do you feel the same? He needs to think on it a while longer...

Oda falls in love with someone very sweet and gentle. The world is a disturbing place with awful things happening every day, and you aren't nearly as aware of that as he is, and he wants to keep it that way. He wants to protect you. To take care of you. To provide for you. He knows he wont be able to do these things without connecting you to the dark part of the world that he works in, so he refrains from confessing. It's the best way to keep you safe. When you confess to him, though, he doesn't have the self-restraint to deny you. He warns you of the dangers, but tells you he wants out, and he'll get out for you. He makes a plan and you're part of it.

Atsushi having had such a dark and violent childhood is a late bloomer when it comes to love. All the other kids in the orphanage were basically his siblings, and he went straight to the ADA after leaving there, so until you come along he's never really had a crush on any real life person. He's thought people were pretty, sure, but that feeling was nothing compared to how his heart races and his knees wobble and his mouth wont cooperate with his brain any time you're around. It becomes extremely obvious to everyone that he has feelings for you, including you after a certain point, and you just think he's so damn sweet. You ask him out finally when you realize he likely wont ever be brave enough to ask you first. He nearly faints he's so excited, and nervous, when you bring it up.

Junichiro falls for someone soft and sweet and nervous after his previous relationship ends. He liked dating people bolder than him, but after a certain point it became too exhausting keeping up with that type of person please for the love of god don't tell everyone you're his sister like Naomi did. When he starts to fall for you, he's very upfront. He tells you he thinks he's falling, and you tell him back. He says he'll keep you updated after he has more time to think about it, and you say the same. You end up spending more and more time together, slowly creating an orbit around the two of you, making a space in your lives for each other. It happens so gradually and so on-pace with one another that it feels completely natural being with him.

Bram may not be the first to fall in love, but he does tell you he intends to court you before you ever reveal your feelings to him. He thinks you're pretty, and he likes when you're around, and you seem to like coming around since you're with him a lot, so he very casually tells you he would like to court you and you very happily accept his offer. He very, very quickly realizes you're something precious and special when he starts thinking about you romantically, and not long after beginning to date he tells you his feelings are very deep. It's a shock but a definite win for you.

Tachihara definitely thinks you're hot and he can tell that you like him--those Hunting Dog instincts and modifications are pretty handy--but he doesn't consider his own feelings for a long time. He leads you on, in fact, giving you attention to make you fawn over him, and then he acts cool like nothing happened, brushing you off and not making plans with you. When you try to move on, stop giving him attention, try to find someone else who's interested in you, he notices, and he hates it. It occurs to him then that he's jealous and he realizes aw fuck, I've gotta tell them how I feel.

Mushitaro is so prim and proper and charismatic--it's hard not to fall for him. You're friends for a long time without thinking much of him, but eventually one day you just realize and it starts bugging you. You may try to distance yourself to see if the feelings will go away, but they wont. While you're distant he misses you desperately and starts to puzzle together his own feelings. Eventually he comes to your house and confesses on your doorstep, saying he misses you and he cares about you so much and he at least needs to know why you're ignoring him. It feels dramatic and straight out of a rom-com.

Ranpo, as I've said before, knows as soon as you do, maybe even sooner, that you have feelings for him. Yours definitely develop before his, but he picks up on it quickly and decides that he wants to date you to see where it goes, and he makes the decision to stay with you long-term after only a couple of dates. There's no confession on your part given that he just knows, but from him the confession is sweet while still being matter-of-fact. "I've fallen for you, as I knew I would. Let's keep dating until we're sick of each other, 'kay?"

Mori lives a double life and you have no idea. If you knew he was the head of the Port Mafia there's no fucking way in hell you ever would have talked to him or gotten to know him or fallen for him or confessed to him, but you didn't know that. To you, Mori was the handsome man in a doctor's coat who came into your store every week. He chatted with you more and more each time he came in, and finally you were brave enough to give him your number, to text him, to ask him out to coffee. He say yes every time, going along with it, and only after you'd been casually dating for some time did he tell you who he really is and well, fuck, you were just about to tell him you were in love with him, so you've both got bombs to drop tonight.

Chuuya plays it so cool that you don't assume he has any sort of romantic feeling for you, but your mind is completely hung up on him to the point of you thinking that you need to be rejected already so you can move on. You tell him as much when you confess, trying to play it off as a joke when you say "dude, I think you're really hot, can you reject me so I'll stop wondering if I have a chance?" He laughs, smirks, and says "I don't think I will, actually. I'll take you to dinner tonight instead." You're flustered, unsure if he means it or not, but oh boy does he. The date goes really well, actually, and he asks to see you again, and scolds you for thinking he was out of your league. "I'm just a guy, I'm not that special."

Kunikida may seem high-strung, and yeah, he is, but there's something about him that just does it for you. Maybe it's that he's so responsible, maybe it's that he's incredibly kind and thoughtful, or maybe it's everything. You don't know, it's hard to explain, and explain you must because when you try to confess to him he asks you why and what did he do to deserve your attention? He ponders your confession for a few hours in private before he reaches out to you. You expect to be rejected, but he accepts your offer, saying you were a shock and he's trying to have a few more unexpected experiences.

Fukuzawa likes you as a person but refuses to acknowledge you romantically given your age gap. You have to confess before he'll think about you in that way. It doesn't go smoothly--you're very quickly but politely turned down. It doesn't make your crush go away, though, and you notice that Fukuzawa seems a bit skiddish around you. When you finally get fed up and ask him why he's been acting weird ever since you asked him out, he admits that he's been thinking about you a lot and thinks that maybe he made a hasty, incorrect choice the last time you spoke about this...

Ango may not be the first to fall in love in your relationship, but once he's in love he's obsessed with you. It all starts like any office romance with a new transfer from another department. He's told you're talented and promising, but he doesn't believe it until you start actually lightening his work load and making his job easier. When you start casually calling him cute and flirting with him, he doesn't know what to think. It's unprofessional, but it's also exciting and he doesn't exactly dislike the attention. When you're off the clock and ask him out on a proper date, he says yes with only minimal hesitation. It's the best decision he's ever made.

[skelliko]

Kazutora Hanemiya |°- crushing misunderstanding

|°-context: kazutora is crushing on you but he sees you and akkun walking together and assumes that you're both together making kazutora's heart to break not knowing that you and akkun are simply friends - mainly fluff not angst

final time line: 4th Division Captain: Kazutora Hanemiya Vice-captain: Atsushi Sendo (Akkun)

kazutora couldn't help but notice the scene that he had accidentally stumbled upon on, before he was gonna ignore it and think nothing much of it until he double looked and his heart managed to stagger in emotions, akkun walking with his school crush. kazutora's school crush.

despite akkun being Vice-captain of the forth division and them being good friends there's still things that kazutora doesn't mention and one of them being is who his heart flutters to.

his mind went to so many scenarios and reasons as to why, out of everyone it'd be you two who walk together and not only that but also holding little brown bakery bags, as if you both had bought a sweet desert together, and are about to enjoy it in each others company.

'no no no no no... their not though? are they?!' his mind was more than a mess

theres no other explanation other than your both either on a date or dating. or even worse, in an actual relationship. kazutora's mind went to so many lengths as he pondered and stalked you both, hiding behind corners, bushes and bus stops to wherever you both are walking to,

he was desperate to find out what was going on even though he knows he needs to let go and back tf up.

'akkun has never mentioned having a girlfriend though, let alone that he's talking to a girl...' that certainly reassured him a little but only for a few seconds when his overthinking took over again

'but maybe that's cause no one asked or mentioned anything! and here he is with the girl that I like, for fucks sake!'

he tried to get close to the both of you to try and hear what you guys were talking about but while doing so self awareness had hit him, he didn't want to get caught lurking around, if a bystander seen what kazutora was doing then a clear title would be placed on him 'stalker'

he kind of just stood there in the middle of the pathway, watching as the both of you walked ahead having your own little moment. it was like kazutora was a small puppy being cast out and away from it's owners. for a short moment he had grown upset, he accepted that him and you were never gonna be because Akkun has already taken your attention.

when he took half a step backwards to turn around and not invade your privacy any longer, it was then that you had turned around making kazutora to be captivated. it wasn't just your beauty that had made him freeze and his heart to grow wings and flutter but it was you smiling and waving at him... him, kazutora, no one else, your eyes were stuck onto kazutora.

his heart was left uncontrolled and skipped all around his body whilst his main focus was to bite down the corner of the inside of his mouth to stop him from smiling like a little kid and getting all giddy for you just simply noticing him. it felt unreal to him in that moment that he had forgotten to wave back, and he was too busy on not smiling like an idiot that he didn't even smile back at all. well now he feels like a complete fool and should be shut out of society forever.

*inserts image of grieving shinji on a chair* -how kazutora feels right now

a whole week went by after that encounter, and since then in school kazu and you haven't had a full conversation, sure you've exchanged a few small words but then he'd cut it off with an excuse to leave all due to wanting to give respect for you and akkun.

before, the both of you would be talking non stop in the middle of lesson, being the teachers most annoying students that can't shut up and are always an nuisance to deal with. it's gotten to the point where after you both stoped talking even the teacher pointed it out Infront of the whole class, "some argument happened between you two?" like c'mon... why is it always those teachers that think they can get involved and think pointing things out to be funny. they get in-between everything.

it left an empty pit in his stomach not being able to talk to you the way he wants to. all because in this setting he chose to put his friends first before himself.

-- some time later ---

"so akkun, you got any plans with y/n?" asking that question hurt him more than it should have, but he needs to get over it soon enough. only after he gets an understanding at what stage the both of you are at. 3 month mark? secretly wishing.

"don't think so, why'd you ask?"

"nothing nothing, just curious. I'm surprised that she'd be with someone like you" it was supposed to come out as regular boy banter and laugh it off but instead he didn't watch his tone and grew blunt about it as if he'd meant it. in which he did.

it took akkun a few silent seconds to process his response and what kazu had just assumed "be with?" purposely ignoring kazutora's sudden burst of agitation and instead focusing on the question itself. "you think me and her are together... as in dating?"

"well you two seem to be quite close, no?"

"kazutora. no. were friends, full heartedly friends" while motioning his hands out to emphasize how baffling and wrong kazutora's question was.

if crickets were around the city they'd be loud, but instead all there could be heard was the click of kazu's tongue before replying "...Oh. shit"

akkun couldn't help but snort out a laugh, whereas kazutora on the other end was looking back and regretting everything which included ignoring you. but he had a good reason to, right? I mean how exactly was he supposed to know that you two were just friends?

many ways actually, sure, but he put his friends first and that's what had mattered, before at least. now, kazutora is trying to figure out ways on how to approach you without seeming like a douche for abruptly leaving and then coming back.

"wait, you like her??" it only then clicked into akkun's head making him perk up about why you even became a conversation topic.

"I bet she hates me" burrowing his face into his hands and feeling all sulky. didn't fully answer akkun's question but that small sentence answered a lot without meaning to.

"you do! you like-like her!" first time hearing about this and he instantly stood up from his seat, oh he was gonna have fun with this information. he can either tease the hell out of kazutora or help him out. but currently he'll torment him first.

"keep it down! dont need anyone hearing" lifting his head up from his hands and looking around the open area

"who's gonna hear? I'm not name dropping, or unless you're embarrassed" tormenting kazutora by making him think of you.

"of course not... maybe. but that's besides the point" kazu ended up explaining things from how he saw you and akkun but left out some details such as him following them to how things went with you and kazu at school.

"dug yourself a hole there I'll be honest, why didn't you ask me first before assuming?" -akkun

"didn't want to draw much attention on the subject"

"oh right right..." not right actually, don't exactly know what that was supposed to mean but didn't want to press on about it. after a short moment of silence it seemed like something was supposed to be done otherwise dragging the gap between you and kazu any further and it might be too much to fix. though luckily a little plan had settled into akkun's mind, after all he was close enough to you to be considered good friends. "I'll help you, don't worry"

♡----

a/n: I could have written the plan/aftermath n' that but I got lazy

[starlemonbunki]

In a dominant mood so here's how I think bsd men would act as subs

Atsushi

Would be a very obedient sub

Trusts you in every way imaginable

You know how parents tell you "well if your friend told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?"??

Yea that's him

If you told him to do something stupid or dangerous whether in the bedroom or not he would immediately trust that you have a plan behind it (even if you actually don't, he doesn't know that)

Other than that, he's very anxious when it comes to PDA, at least at first

But once he gets used to it, and by that I mean used to the feeling of being loved, then he will slowly start warming up to and even asking for it

When it comes to sex, he can be even more bashful and awkward about it

He mostly whimpers and whines and it's not super loud, but if it does get to that point he's very self aware and scared of others hearing him, so he covers his mouth right away

I think he'd be most compatible with a more gentle top

He can't handle very heavy scenes and I can't imagine him having a very active libido

He has sex to express love and passion, not just for a quick fling that doesn't mean anything

Outside of the bedroom, he's very quiet about what goes on in there

Dazai likes to tease him about it and you love how his pale complexion turns into a pretty shade of red

Dazai

Oh this man is OBNOXIOUS

He's the type of sub that makes you wanna fuck him so hard he actually shuts the fuck up for a second

One of the brattiest of the bunch, for some reason has to turn anything and everything into a game of cat and mouse

Also one of the horniest, believe me you'll be drained DRY after like a week or so

This man's libido is UNMATCHED

He may be taller than you, smarter than you, and possibly stronger than you when it comes to his ability,

But in every other way you are in charge And some part of him always wants to challenge that

Loves to be paraded around like a showdog (but prefers the term "trophy wife")

He's a little princess and always gets what he wants

I think he'd fit best with a dom who could handle his.....special traits

He needs someone who won't get tired of him so quickly and leave, just like everyone else in his life did

But he also needs someone to put him in his place from time to time

Dealing with dazai isn't for the faint of heart, anyone who's done it before knows that

So maybe if you're strong enough, smart enough, and a little bit delusional and crazy, you could have this cute little former mafioso wrapped around your finger like a worm on a string <3

Fyodor

Tbh this one's the whole reason why I made this post in the first place😆

This one's also a little....different...from the others

And by that I mean he's worse

His brattiness doesn't come in the form of disobeying orders or having a fit in front of your friends

No, this one will purposefully pick you apart psychologically

Trying to get this man to behave will require a labyrinth of words, a battle of the minds

He needs someone who can challenge him, because if they don't, he wouldn't bother to be submissive towards them at all, they don't deserve it.

He's one half sickly and one half pride, so taking care of him isn't gonna be easy

Of course you'd have to know going in that Fyodor's self care is abysmal and as his dom you'd have to take responsibility for his health

Taking care of his pills, his diet, making sure he eats and sleeps on time, gets enough rest, drinks enough water, exercises, that's all on you from now on

But you do it cause you love him

Sometimes he'll be bratty and arrogant enough to take you for granted, and would snap at you and tell you he doesn't need someone to baby him when you just were trying to help

But after enough time, he'll realize he was wrong, and as his health depletes, he'll slowly start to inch towards you, asking for your help

You would make sure it gets to the point where he'd have to beg. Make him realize what it's truly like to not have you "distracting" him with your care and concern

And eventually, if he's put up a pathetic enough display for you, you'll hold him in your arms, warm chest comforting him as he leans his head and torso on it

You'll watch how he shivers each time he takes a breath, his eyes are glassy and staring at nothing, his hair is drowning in grease, and it's obvious he hadn't showered in days, but you don't mind

All of this means he's vulnerable, which means he's weak, which means he's malleable.

Malleable enough for you to mold into whatever you please.

Because the only person who could dominate the demon Fyodor is someone who could become the demon Fyodor.

Whether he knew it or not, you were just as sinister as he was, possibly even more.

And every breath he took was another foolish step into your web, a plan you had conducted just for him

So he can be as proud and smug as he wants, but at the end of the day,

You are in control.

Chuuya

It's kind of hard for me to decipher what kind of sub he'd be to be honest

I want to say he'd be a brat but that term doesn't seem to describe him exactly

Sure, he's got a lot of pride, so getting him to submit to you or even to simply let you take the wheel will be difficult.

He's too stuck in his old habits, too used to having to take care of everything, so being taken care of for a change will be a new feeling to him.

He's also scared to love you, scared to let himself bring another person into his heart, afraid of instead accidentally luring you to your death as he had done with so many others.

No, he's not ready to lose another person. Not again.

He's grown to see his love for others as a trap, a ploy, a misfortune. It was like a prophecy for someone's death.

But you, you were different from the rest.

You were strong. Strong enough to protect yourself, strong enough to stand your ground. In fact, you could probably even protect the gravity manipulator Chuuya Nakahara himself.

It took a long time for him to be ready. Ready to open himself up for you. But you let him take his time. You let him think things through. And despite everything, you were there.

You both sprouted a relationship neither of you thought you could do before

And the sex wasn't just sex to you two, no, it could be a distraction, a vacation, an escape, a break, an apology, you name it.

Sex would be a big part of you guys' relationship

I like to think that Chuuya is a lot hornier than he says he is, and also a lot more submissive

Learning that he was a sub was surprising for you, especially because of, well, everything about him

But that was cool for you, as you were vers, and you had to admit you loved the way he screamed and cried under you.

The look in his eyes, the blush in his cheeks, the spit dripping from the corners of his mouth, even the small wounds he had gotten from biting his lips so hard to keep in a moan was adorable

Fucking in his penthouse was great because he had red lighting in almost every room, giving it a sexy, moody vibe.

It also reminded him of his place. He may be rich, he may be a mafia executive, and he may have a couple dozen people under his command, but no matter where or what he is, he will always be a pathetic little whore for you.

You fuck him in his room to remind him his riches mean nothing. He means nothing. All he is is a slut, and he must be reminded of that.

I think he'd be best compatible with a quieter personality to counter his loud one, but I think that loud, brash personality is most present around Dazai. Though he can have a little bit of a temper from time to time, even around you

He needs someone who doesn't care about status or ranks, Port mafia executive or not, you'll fuck him like there's no tomorrow and once you're done he'll be clinging to you like a lost little dog.

Ranpo

Brat. Brat Brat Brat. NOTHING about this boy is topping.

I mean, I do see him as a switch, but in this case, he's the brattiest brat to ever brat.

Will require you give him sweets and cold drinks whenever he asks, will make you drive him places, teach him things and even fuck him when he's too lazy to do the fucking.

He'll be obnoxious all day and then look at you like he's done nothing wrong his whole life. Spoiled little shit.

He's exactly the type of sub you would fuck into submission until you hear a sorry or any sort of appropriate apology.

He likes to be fucked lying down, sometimes sitting and leaning against something, but sometimes you'll force him to sit on you and ride you up and down even though you know he hates it. You'll never hear the end of it from him, though.

He likes to be fucked while eating, too. You'll fuck him from behind with a hand out and spoonfeeding him cake, and the rapid shaking of your bodies and the table he's up against will leave traces of cake all over his chin and cheeks. He doesn't know if he wants cake or if he wants you to eat his cake. Either way, he wants and needs you bad.

I think he'd be best fit with a top who would usually just give in to all his demands and would be patient with his bratty personality, but knows when it's been taken too far. You'd be calm and gentle with him, but come nighttime, you're a beast in bed, making sure he makes up for everything he did in the office that day.

He's not the type to apologize I don't think, he'd definitely beg if it's gotten too much for him but an apology? That's asking too much. Just take the moans and cries and leave.

However, right afterwards he'd go back to his usual bratty self no matter how bad the punishment was. In couldn't have been that harsh anyway, as you could never say no to Ranpo's cute face.

Akutagawa

When I say this man is a Virgin I mean he's a VIRGIN VIRGIN.

As in as virgin as the virgin mother mary

He hadn't even had time for sex before you came along.

You taught him everything, even things about his own body that he didn't even know. Like how he doesn't like the feeling of frotting because he doesn't like how another man's dick is on his own. Or how he likes when you pump his cock slowly, especially since he's so new to the game that he couldn't handle more even if he tried. Poor boy😔

He finds it odd, the feeling of being pampered. Being provided with food everyday, a warm place to live, constant affection, he didn't know what to do with it. It was as if he was an alien studying earth and experiencing the most mundane things for the first time.

And the weirdest thing about it was, he liked it. He liked the feeling of being taken care of, being provided for and pampered, and it was odd. He wasn't sure if he even deserved such wonderful feelings.

When it comes to sex, you better believe this man's got some weird shame thing related to sex

He sees it as a filthy task that he, unfortunately, likes to partake in.

He's ashamed even bringing it up, let alone asking for it.

But once you get the memo you take action and calmly and gently take care of him

Akutagawa's been used to violence, been used to screams of pain and agony, but this? It's soft. It's sweet. It's tender. He's not used to it but part of him wants to be. He's never been so happy in his life.

He's not the type to whine and whimper so much like Atsushi, instead he'll let out a low grunt here and there and maybe throw in a moan somewhere too.

He's into the wildest things, most of which involving your ability with his. It's probably some weird psychological thing where he's associated his ability strength = worth thing to the bedroom which......isn't healthy.

But once you're done his sickly little body is spent, his already damaged lungs trying desperately to keep moving. You hold him over your shoulder, as being carried bridal style would mess with his pride. Arm wrapped around your shoulder and tugging at you inner arm, he leans into you the way he's never done for anyone before.

He feels odd now, as if he's just discovered something new. Learning and even participating in sex has left him with many questions, that hopefully you could answer.

[reixtsu]

He's aware of your hobbyist writing, noting your detailed schedule for posting fanfictions. However, he couldn't help but observe your recent lack of writing.

Uncertain about why you stopped, he considered the possibility of your busy schedule or personal challenges, wondering if you were resolving issues before resuming your hobbies.

One day, while together, he asked, "Why did you stop writing as often?" Your response, a simple smile, conveyed the absence of the inspirational spark you once had.

Reasonable, he respected your decision, acknowledging it as a mere hobby. Yet, he relished the weird creations you crafted. The ability to turn imaginative clouds into tangible realities through your writings fascinated him—a heavenly talent he couldn't bear to see dormant, even temporarily.

In an effort to reignite your inspiration, he started collecting eye-catching items—books, pictures, newspapers, gossip, movies from your favorite genre, food ads—hoping to see that spark return to your eyes.

After a while, his efforts paid off, and you felt the spark your writing self had been craving. With a smile, a mind filled with ideas, and your partner by your side, you faced the blank paper with confidence.

Just then however, reality once again settled in as you remembered the challenge of starting such amazing writings.

THOMA, KAVEH, NEUVILLETTE, Gorou, Tighnari, Aether, Albedo, Kazuha, Lyney, XINGQIU, ATSUSHI, POE, Sigma, Itadori, Yūta, your faves ❦

[obsidianstrawberrymilk]

Anyways I'm bored BSD no nuance hot takes

Yosano could probably beat pretty much everyone in the series with the exception of Fukuchi bc. Y'know

Dazai's not that hard of a character to understand if you've had depression from a relatively young age

Chuuya's not an alcoholic

He is gonna have heart problems when he gets older though

Kyouka's mischaracterization is so blatant in fandom but basically never bought up

Naomi and Junichiro have relatively equal amounts of focused screentime and development and in fact Naomi shows more initiative separate from Junichiro than he does from her

Also the theory she's a manifestation of his Ability has already been disproven

idk if this is even a hot take. Mori's not a predator. It's annoying and inaccurate and also boring as fuck to insist he is.

People write Ranpo too nice. Ya'll he's an asshole let him act like one.

Any problems people have with how Kunikida 'treats' Dazai are the same as how Chuuya treats Dazai and there's like zero argument there

Dazai wouldn't self harm

Atsushi's a great main character, one of the most interesting in the series, and does his damn job AS the main character

Chuuya's a good character, yes. There are also other fucking characters in this damn series than him and Dazai

Oda and Dazai pedestalized one another; this wasn't a healthy dynamic. However Oda really did understand Dazai in the end of Dark Era and WAS the reason Dazai was able to better himself and move away from a path that was gonna kill him and was one of the only people who could have convinced him to better himself.

The ADA-PM trade isn't gonna happen

Kunikida is both a well developed and fascinating character who's behaviors stem from stress, trauma, and likely high functioning mental illness, and is not as predictable as fandom makes him out to be

Also this isn't even a hot take but neither he nor Teruko are perma dead

Akutagawa did in fact Do That Shit. He did in fact Think That Way. He's having development but he does still believe the weak deserve to die and is only now learning not to have his instinctive reaction be murder. Like he can do what he wants but the fact his development is so good is undercut if you ignore how he started.

Also the PM is like. Not a good place? For anyone? Like the characters are sympathetic and we've been made aware of the complexities surrounding how it benefits the city but also as an organization and structure it's not at all healthy and BSD is. Pretty clear about that.

This fandom is like definition of "why are you going for moral simplicity in the nuance store" or however that post goes credit to the postmaker

[akutasoda]

Can you please do chuuya, Dazai, atsushi, akutugawa, sigma, and fyodor with a reader that has a personality and an ability like Jingliu?

icey love

synopsis - from the ice of your ability to your natural mystery, you always intrigued them

includes - atsushi, dazai, chuuya, akutagawa, fyodor, sigma

warnings - gn!reader, fluff?, slight angst - mention of betrayal, wc - 1.1k

atsushi nakajima ★↷

↪when he first met you he thought you were really cool. he admired the confidence you carried yourself with although he wasn't that keen on how cold you could be. but did really admire you.

↪he also really admired your swordsmanship. he found it so elegant and weirdly beautiful. but he wasn't that much of a fan for your actual ability. it was more the repercussions of your ability that he didn't really like as should anyone be around you when you use your ability, it would harm them.

↪he knew you had no control but it did little to help him not dislike it. but he still really did look up to your skills regardless. although he would never ask you directly, but one part of him really wanted you to teach him.

↪and even when he became aware of your past it did little of his perception at the moment. learning that your old position now considered you a traitor did shock him but he was willing to overlook it.

↪that was you then, and he had his own judgement on you now. and you very obviously had changed and as long as you never did such to him, why should he care.

osamu dazai ★↷

↪initially, he found you very fun. he enjoyed the mustery that surrounded you the moment you stepped into the agency and thus taking interest. spending alot of time with you wether you wanted him there or not.

↪and so it became natural that he got used to your cold, straightforward self. he also enjoyed your more philosophical takes on situations as he found any or your perceptions interesting.

↪and so it was only a matter of time until he learnt that you were branded as a traitor elsewhere. he found that some what relatable for similar reasons. bit he cared little as he could clearly tell that you had little intention to repeat and it was in the past afterall.

↪he also found intrest in your swordsmanship and skills in battle. the ice combined with your elegance with the sword provided quite the spectacle in his opinion. he wasn't aware of the little side effect as his ability cancelled it out.

↪but when he found out, he didn't know wether to be intrigued or scared. but he settled for intrigued. afterall everything you did made him more and more curious about you.

chuuya nakahara ★↷

↪from the moment you arrived at the port mafia he couldn't help but feel slightly off. everytime he looked or even thought about you he felt an unease that he thought was ridiculous. just because he couldn't read you shouldn't mean he has to feel cautious around you.

↪but maybe he should've left it as what it was. one of the first things he ever found out about you was your previous branding as a traitor. this shook your initial relationship with him as it meant he was less likely to trust you any further. but then he learnt that maybe you did change.

↪even if only a little bit. but then when he finally got closer to you would he adjust to your straightforwardness. and just your whole personality still made him feel unease but it lessened by the days he spent with you.

↪eventually one thing he could say he loved completely was your fighting skills. he admired the dedication to your swordsmanship and how well you utilized it with your actual ability. he always felt indifferent about the little side effect however.

↪and eventually he came to understand you on some level. even feeling like he could trust you more and more.

ryunosuke akutagawa ★↷

↪just like every new member of the mafia, when he first saw you he couldn't care less. if anything he saw you as someone who would be arrogant and annoying to be around.

↪but somehow he let you get slightly closer to him. he actually enjoyed how straightforward you were and how cold you could be as it matched his own personality quite well. but he still felt like ypu weren't telling him everything - you never really told anyone everything regardless.

↪he was also indifferent to your skills. from your actual ability to your skills with a sword, he didn't really care. sure it was sort of admirably but to him it was nothing more. and he never was a fan of the little side effects.

↪he began to trust you less when he learnt of your previous betrayal. but that quickly went away as he figured that if you were going to repeat that you would've done so by now.

fyodor dostoevsky ★↷

↪originally, he couldn't care less on who you are or why you were here. sure he felt a bit of intrigue on telling you probably had quite the few mystery's about you but that was about it. nothing really piqued his interest.

↪and if anything learning you were previously a traitor did seemingly nothing. initially he found it slightly interesting but quickly came to distrust you more because of this factor.

↪but his curiosity was soon repeaked when he found out more about your cold nature and rather philosophical views and conversations. and he did quite appreciate how straightforward you were - it made you more tolerable he would say.

↪and his curiosity peaked upon your ability. or more specifically the side effect. an effect that caused you to harm all those around you without trying truly did interest him. he found it despicable yet why was he so intrigued by it?

sigma ★↷

↪like everyone else, he didn't trust you at first and it took him ages to build up trust with you. he was slightly scared off you, if he said he wasn't he would be lying. but he did get over that very quickly and instead just became wary.

↪the opportunity to build trust with you feel further apart upon learning your name ahd been branded as a traitor in a past time. if you had done it once, what was stopping you from doing it again? so he did stay away from you alot.

↪however after a very long time he came to give you a chance. afterall it seemed you changed slightly and you were weirdly nice. weirdly in the way that you showed your emotions in weird ways, but he took it anyway.

↪he did admire your sword skills. your ability not so much as he did dislike it, ability and side effect. but your swordsmanship was very impresive and rather elegant in his words.

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

Can I ask "If you weren't alone" with Dazai, Kunikida and Atsushi? I give my thanks first!

If you were not alone

Part VIII

Characters: Self-Aware! Dazai Osamu, Self-Aware! Kunikida Doppo, Self-Aware! Atsushi Nakajima

Reader: GN! Adult! Reader

Warning: OOC. English is my second language

📒🐯🪢🦀 It was supposed to be a normal shopping trip. How in the world you, Kunikida, Dazai and Atsushi ended at the base of Mt. Yougou, not far away from Kamisato's Estate?

No, rephrase that. How in the world you ended up in Teyvat?

Before you can discuss, what happened and what to do next, you four heard a booming voice.

"HEY, SHINOBU, LOOK, ALL-CREATOR DECIDED TO VISIT INAZUMA! LET'S GO AND SAY HELLO!"

A familiar oni was running towards you, almost dragging his deputy leader behind him. Ushi wiggled behind them.

Tall oni stopped before you, bowing.

"Greetings, Your Holiness, cool to see you in Inazuma!"

You opened and closed your mouth, not knowing what to say. Was Itto talking to you? Itto looked at you, waiting for your answer. You coughed.

"Um... Thanks for the warm welcome, Itto. How is your Gang doing?"

You have a feeling, that you messed up, despite seeing a huge grin on Itto's face.

Then you caught Shinobu's gaze. She was observing you. An unreadable expression was ob her face. She spoke, facing Itto.

"Boss, why not to prepare lavender melons to Their Holiness and their guards, while I updated them on Gang's businesses?"

Itto's grin became even bigger, and oni, after grabbing Ushi, hurried up to the distance in search for lavender melons.

When Itto get out of sight, Shinobu's gaze became serious again.

"Okay, with Boss out of earshot... Confess, you four, who are you? Creator... didn't care about Boss and our gang."

You, Atsushi, Kunikida and Dazai, after some whispering, decided not to lie.

At the end of your story, Shinobu looked concerned.

"I... I don't know if you believe me... But you four are in big danger."

📒🐯🪢🦀 It Shinobu quite some time to explain the situation to you. Mostly because Itto returned quite quickly and your little group had a small lunch. At the end of it, Atsushi and Dazai because Bro Atsushi and Bro Dazai, and Kunikida and Shinobu get a headache over three lovable idiots.

After lunch, Shinobu managed to send Itto on an onikabuto hunt ("Creator need a perfect onikabuto familiar for them. Boss, you can find the best one for them.")

And Shinobu continue her tale. About Creator and "sinners cleaning rituals". And about the danger you four were in.

Shinobu said, that you four have few days, before wanted posters will be up.

📒🐯🪢🦀 You stay with the Arataki Gang for tonight. And, while you, Atsushi and Kunikida were sleeping, Dazai was planning. He, with Shinobu help for getting "trivia information", was trying to find a way to protect you all.

You woke up early in the morning, say goodbye to Arataki Gang and hurry to Ritou Island.

Luck was on your side, and you four get on a ship to Liyue.

You were far away from Inazuma, when Ei's lightning storms rise again.

📒 Problems started in Liyue. Mililith solders were patrolling The Harbor and looking through every ship. Kunikida prepared flash grenades and dark glasses in advance. You will only have one chance.

In a "storm" of flashing lights, you, Kunikida and Atsushi with sunglasses on and Dazai with a blindfold on escaped from Liyue Harbor.

Kunikida didn't tell you about the gun he created in case of the situation going bad.

🐯 In Sumeru you get very strange protection. Rishboland Tigers, for some reason, loved Atsushi and followed his every command. When Corps of Thirty chased after you, rishboland tigers, with half-transformed Atsushi as their leader, chased them away.

One of the tigers was the one, who found aranaras and called you.

And they were quite happy to see you.

"World Nara are finally here!"

Same day, you four met Nahida.

Dendro Archon explained more about the whole situation. And provided you four with three choices.

1. You can stay in Sumeru and wait for Alice, your only hope to get to the real world, visit this nation again.

2. Hurry to Natlan, where Alice was traveling to.

3. Go to Mondstadt and wait for Alice's arrival. She should be there on Klee's birthday.

You can only choose one. You won't be able to travel from Natlan to Mondstadt in time, and, staying for so long in Sumeru, despite Nahida's assistance, can be dangerous.

📒🐯🦀🪢 A one discussion later, you four decided to go to Mondstadt. And Nahida even find a way for you to safe travel.

With Dehya and Dunyarzad starting rumors about Imposter going to Natlan, Keveh and Alhaitham (who needed to do some job for dendro archon in Mondstadt and get gifts for Creator to the Ivory Throne) will secretly get you four to Mondstadt.

After a tearful goodbye to Nahida and Aranaras, you left Sumeru.

🦀🪢 During the short trip to Mondstadt, you, Dazai, Kunikida, Atsushi, Alhaitham and Kaveh became good friends. And, you discovered, that Teyvat started to listen to your small commands.

(You didn't know, that Nahida and Aranaras were praying to you, making your powers stronger).

After you get to Mondstadt, a waiting game started. You four, with a help of Albedo, who run into you four one day, managed to stay hidden from the Knights of Favonius.

Dazai also brought Primordial Albedo to your camp one day. You didn't know where he found him, or why he decided to bring him to you, but... Now you have your own alchemist.

and you thought, it was Oda's job to took in orphans

And you all became good friends with Klee.

📒🐯🦀🪢You managed to safely stay in Mondstadt, until Alice's arrival. You four got presents from Alice, a thank you for being friends of Klee, and Alice finally got you five (Dazai demand for Prim to go with you) at the Real World. But, before that, she spoke to you.

"Your Holiness... [Y/N]... Monster on the throne... It will destroy Teyvat one day. Please, if you can... Send us help to dethrone them."

You promised to think about it. She asked you to provide your powers for her to transport you five.

_________

🐾 Fukuzawa was worried. Three of his detectives and you were missing. And search parties came back with no results.

Until one day, you four appeared from the portal in the barn (portal remains) with a strange new guy and dags full of fruits. And... Is it planers on your backs?

🐾 Explanation is in order. And then, more planning to come. You have people in Teyvat to help to.

_________

Tag list: @withered-blossoms , @myluckymoon @cocodrilofeliz @c4xcocoa @vvyeislazzy @whisperingwinters @nervousinfluencertidalwave @ayameshu

[kaurwreck]

I saw your recent headcanon bsd post and honestly you really get the characters (or you get me <3 because i fully agree with them) especially the Atsushi and Dazai one which is practically canon for me. Do you have more Atsushi and Dazai headcanon you can share? I really love it when people talk about those two

I'm so glad the Atsushi and Dazai headcanon resonated with you! I call them headcanons, but they're canon to me; it's my sandbox and I'm building sandcastles.

I don't think I'm articulate enough to adequately express my thoughts about Atsushi and Dazai's relationship, so rather than try, I'm going to share more bulleted snippets of headcanons that hopefully relay the vibes if not the substance.

Atsushi is emotionally brilliant, but has the intellect of an idiot kitten. Dazai is intellectually brilliant, but has the emotional intelligence of an idiot kitten. Nevertheless, Atsushi is NOT self-aware, in the slightest, while Dazai is excruciatingly self-aware. They would devour each other in the wild but are a bonded pair in captivity.

At least once a week, Dazai loses Atsushi at the store and then doesn't listen to the intercom when he's called.

Dazai thrusts himself into the thick of villains and conflicts because the narrative will not let him die, but he can't move it forward from there. Atsushi can and is compelled to, even, because it's the only way he'll survive.

In 55 Minutes, Atsushi indicates that maybe all skills come from elsewhere and are imposed upon us. In that way, he's drawing a parallel between skills and the cultural, societal, temporal, familial influences that construct our understanding of our existence. He's also saying that perhaps what Dazai and Kyouka have going on with their otherness and inability to control their skills is kind of what happens to all of us, just in different ways. This is why he is the protagonist. He does not see separation. He sees people and he sees the constructs and frameworks that people build around themselves, but which they can also deconstruct and rebuild. Dazai isn't convinced he's a person, but Atsushi guilelessly and unwaveringly looks at him and sees a person anyway. He has that effect on others; he did the same thing to Kyouka, and Lucy, and Akutagawa, and even Ango when Ango aimed a gun at Kyouka and Lucy. Worse yet, they see reflections of their personhood in his eyes. It's intoxicating, and enlivening, and frustrating, and terrifyingly vulnerable. Dazai experiences it as absolution. Atsushi experiences it as obvious.

Dazai tries to give Atsushi shaken baby syndrome when Atsushi annoys him, even though Yosano keeps telling him that Atsushi's too old.

Chuuya and Atsushi unabashedly want to love and be loved, it's second nature to them, albeit in different ways. But Akutagawa and Dazai convinced themselves they were perfectly fine not loving and never being loved; up until they met someone who everyone loves, which is so, horribly vexing to them because they're so different and unique and no one understands them and yet here they are, vying for the attention of someone who seems to know something they don't. So, they cope by loving those they love in ways no one else does. Which is to say: like freaks.

Dazai gets involved with Atsushi and Akutagawa not just because they need mentorship or for Atsushi. He's there in solidarity with Akutagawa. Dazai is there because he needs someone who understands the reality of the idiot situation that they got themselves into because they're idiots. Dazai and Akutagawa were both supposed to die young and in abject misery. And yet here they are. Being yanked around by objectively unreasonable people who seem to think they know better. Worse, Dazai knows that he and Akutagawa want to believe them.

Atsushi and Dazai are cat-coded, when the others run it activates their predator instincts.

dazai is so afraid of feeling; he doesn't think you can survive emotion, he thinks emotions exist to trick you or destroy you and that others' expressions of emotions are disingenuous or naive; emotions burn him terribly and he can't imagine it's any different for everyone else. and if it is, then that just further evidences that he's not human after all, that he wasn't built to survive in a world that hurts him so terribly. it's why he's so certain kunikida is going to get swallowed by his ideals. it's why he raised akutagawa in pain and neglect and why he was so disgusted by akutagawa's lack of emotional control. it's why he can't hold onto chuuya for longer than it takes chuuya to fall asleep after corruption. it's why he slapped atsushi and demanded disassociation from him when atsushi started to panic about what he'd done to naomi and haruno. but fyodor is what it looks like when you succumb to that, and chuuya and atsushi and oda are what it looks like when you don't, and as much as dazai thinks he's capable of loving anyone, he loves atsushi and chuuya and oda, all of whom grappled with their own humanity and then elected to be human anyway. and as much as he thinks the others are deluding themselves, and as much as he still believes he's right about humanity's insincerity and insipidity, and since oda asked him just before dying over his own fruitless emotions anyway (although it began before oda asked), dazai has decided he would rather fiercely protect the outcasts who refuse to see their own futility than exert any energy proving himself correct. and if he can bully a reflection of himself in the process thereof, then all the better.

Dazai lies and claims Atsushi is his son for Father's Day discounts. It's so obviously untrue and outlandish that store clerks are too distressed by his thick face to call him out and so he gets away with it. Atsushi plays along because he wants the discounts too.

[aquari-nei]

Better in the dark - Atsushi Nakajima x gn!reader

Late nights with you were perfect, but what was even more perfect was when you would decide to stay over.

Atsushi was always surprised whenever you'd agree, ever since Kyouka moved in, he'd slept in the small closet in the bedroom to give her space. He didn't mind it himself, small spaces meant being small himself, small meant being hidden, being hidden meant safety.

But he would always protest when you asked to join him, yeah he could tolerate it but you probably wouldn't like being so cramped in there so you shouldn't really stay in there with him, you deserved batter than a small closet. But you never listened, you'd smile at him softly with drooping eyes and ever so gently tell him that if it meant being with him, you'd tolerate anything.

How could he resist that? God, it felt so good to be wanted and to such an extent you would forsake a decent place to sleep just to curl up next to him...

He felt a bit guilty about it, but his protests lessened the more insistent you got, the fluttering beat of his heart chopping up his thoughts into tiny, unintelligible pieces as you delicately tugged him over to the closet with a yawn.

An hour or so later, you'd be quietly snoring, wrapped around Atsushi and nuzzling your face into his back. He couldn't help but pretend to sleep until you drifted off, to stay up and let his whole mind and being linger on the fact you stayed, you loved him, you were here.

He hadn't been the most comfortable with physical affection for so long, for as long as he could remember he would only feel impending doom whenever anything warm and flesh like touched him. But slowly, after getting to know you and coming to love you, he'd found himself being comforted by the shape of your hand on his shoulder or wrapped around his waist.

So he would stay awake and let your warmth soak into his back as he stared thoughtlessly at the closet door, lost in you and your softness. You were so good to him that he would catch himself why you hadn't left for someone worthier, he felt horribly guilty about doubting you but he had no idea what to do with that feeling.

Once, late at night you had woken up with his head buried in your chest as he clutched you tightly. No light could get in the closet but you didn't need any to feel the way his shoulders shook and two warm patches of tears soaked your shirt.

Slowly, you had snaked a hand up to his hair and gently fussed with the short, soft strands by the nape of his neck. He had flinched and frozen still, but you kept fiddling with his hair and several long seconds later his shoulders relaxed, slowly collapsing into you.

You'd called out to him, asked him if he was okay, and he swore the sound of your voice could cure every headache in the world for the rest of forever. He didn't respond though, too consumed with tiredness and the niggling worry that wouldn't leave his head.

He pulled himself up and buried his face in your neck, losing himself to your sluggish, sleep addled pulse grateful that you didn't push because he didn't think he could ever find the words to tell you how much he adored you and how much he felt like he didn't deserve to.

Still, your lips against the crown of his head felt like salvation and your soft, loving coos were transcendental. In the closet he called a bed he was a guilty worshipper, clinging to you and you would never dream of pushing him off.

Your arms cradled him with as much care as you could summon, you'd always been vaguely aware of how much self-loathing he concealed and it had only ever made you more adamant to stay, to lavish him with as much affection as he'd allow until one day that loathing started to fade and beyond.

Here in the closet, swallowed by blankets you curl into each other, quietly binding yourselves to each other with silent vows as you fall back asleep.

yippee!! second post! thanks for reading <3

[starlightshadowsworld]

Words of the Reaper

(Or the ending of Beast but Atsushi is absolutely fucking done.)

There was a silence as Dazai, Port Mafia Boss or "The Man in Black" as Akutugawa called him, finished his monologue.

Akutugawa was confused, so much of this didn't make sense. Could a book like this even be exist? He was about to voice his disbelief, when someone beat him to the punch.

"All of this, was because of that fucking book?!"

Akutagawa jumped in suprise, looking at Atsushi. Atsushi Nakajima also known as the Port Mafia's White Reaper, stood beside Akutugawa. And was staring at his boss (ex boss?) with nothing but anger.

It caught Akutugawa off guard. Despite his profession Atsushi was quite kind. Akutugawa knew the sweet kid he'd met at the cafe hadn't been a facade in the slightest.

But right here and now, Atsushi looked like exactly like the man his moniker represented.

Akutagawa noted he wasn't the only one suprised. Dazai himself seemed to have been completly caught off guard.

Akutugawa felt a bit of satisfaction at that, seeing the Man in Black's confusion at his subordinates anger aimed at him.

No, not anger.

Akutagawa had seen just a glimpse of Atsushi's anger. But it looked nothing like this. This was like watching fire itself burst to life.

He was livid.

"You know about the book?" Asked Dazai, trying to regain his composure. But even he couldn't mask the suprise in his voice. This wasn't what he expected at all.

And quite frankly it was jarring to see Atsushi like this. Atsushi who had only ever disobeyed him once, who was as meek as a kitten in his presence. Now glaring at him with the rage of a tiger.

If it wasn't directed at him, Dazai would've been quite proud.

"Of course I do! What, did your other self not tell you?! I'm it's fucking guide!" Asked Atsushi, eyes blazing.

Akutugawa looked at him confused but didn't ask. Probably because he didn't want Atsushi's wrath aimed at him.

See, Dazai had known.

It had just maybe not occurred to him that his Atsushi was aware of it. Apparently he had been very wrong about that. "And you didn't think to bring that up?" He asked, not bringing up his own mistake.

Atsushi of course saw right through him and looked unimpressed.

"Oh jee, maybe because you've never bought the book up, ever! How was I supposed to know you knew about it?!" Said Atsushi, the sarcasm in his voice practically tangible.

Well at least he'd stopped swearing at him. As much as Dazai would love to blame that on Chuuya's influence. He knew better. It was just rare for Atsushi to ever get this angry.

"I suppose you're right on that one. However, that doesn't answer why you're so angry at me Atsushi?" Sue him, Dazai was curious as to what he'd done to earn his mentees ire. Atsushi simply rolled his eyes, but Dazai wasn't having it.

"Atsushi" he said warningly, but Atsushi completly ignores it. He hisses, glaring at him once again. "No, no you don't get to Atsushi me. Punish me later if you wish and I'll take it.

But you don't get to dump all of this information on us and than try to swan dive off the fucking building."

His gaze was cold and piercing. But Dazai saw through his anger. He saw the saddness and the fear in Atsushi's eyes. And suddenly he felt like the biggest idiot around.

Of course, of course Atsushi was broken up about him trying to kill himself.

Atsushi cared about him, that much was obvious. Of course this whole thing had him rattled, it made Dazai soften at the realisation.

Atsushi took a deep breath, letting his anger fade.

"Dazai... Are you high?"

Nevermind, that softness vanished and was replaced with confusion. "High?" Repeated Dazai, confused. Why would Atsushi think he was high?

He hadn't come to work high before... Okay apart from that one time but still.

Atsushi nods, completly serious. "Now why would think think that?" Asked Dazai. "You're usually a lot more methodical than this. Your plans calculated and well thought out, so I can only assume you've taken some kind of substance." Explains Atsushi.

Dazai wasn't sure if he should feel insulted or complimented... Both, he settled on both. He ignored Akutugawa trying and failing to hide his laughter in his sleeve.

"Atsushi, I assure you I am sober." Says Dazai and Atsushi seemed to relax a little at that. Before the anger came rushing back. "Than what the fuck were you thinking?!" Yells Atsushi.

And the swearing was back.

"Do you have any idea what you're doing? The world isn't going to fucking cave in because more than 2 people know of the book.

If these threats are the ones you speak off, they fucking know. And they've known for a long time, the universe is fine." Atsushi rubs his head, like he's dealing with a misbehaving child and not the Port Mafia Boss.

"Akutugawa" Akutugawa turns to Atsushi, prepared to feel the wrath of the White Reaper. But Atsushi suprises him again by sighing softly.

"I apologise for the actions of my mentor. He means well but he doesn't think how his actions affect others. I know simple words will not fix the pain he's caused. I am sorry for hurting you on his behalf, I will talk to Gin. And once again I am so sorry."

Akutagawa nods slowly "you're right, words will not fix this. You can't apologise for something you're not responsible for. You were just following orders, I don't blame you, just your Boss. And... Thank you."

Atsushi nods, smiling and to his suprise Akutugawa gives a small smile back.

Atsushi notices Dazai starting to tip toeing away from them. He grabs the the back of his coat, stopping him. "Not so fast, I'm not done with you." Says Atsushi and Dazai huffs, much like a child.

"But Atsushi" he whines but his mentee merely stares at him, unwavering.

"I am not leaving the Port Mafia... You may have picked me simply to be your pawn, and that's fine with me. But this is my home, and I refuse to leave it. That is my choice." Says Atsushi, he's not looking at Dazai now.

Tears are in his eyes and Dazai feels himself soften again. He knows he's done wrong by Atsushi. He wasn't a kind man, that much was obvious. But he cared for Atsushi dearly.

He knows that he should tell the kid to leave. But he can't because he knows Atsushi. Knows Atsushi has been abandoned by everyone. It dawns on him that Atsushi was afraid he was abandoning him too.

Maybe he wasn't as sober as he thought he was. This wasn't usually something he'd miss. Or maybe it took being about to kill himself infront of Atsushi to realise that.

How did he get so lucky picking such a good kid.

Dazai wraps an arm around him. "I know, I'm sorry Atsushi." That suprises Atsushi, he didn't think he'd get an apology from Dazai ever.

"I don't appreciate you swearing at me" he smiles, voice gentle in a way to let Atsushi know he won't punish him for it. It's sweet seeing Atsushi duck his head sheepishly.

"But you are right. My plans will have to change. But I will keep you all informed." Atsushi nods "that's all I ask, Boss."

Akutugawa glares at Dazai but he also nods. He doesn't appreciate being roped into this, but he'll figure it out. The Agency won't leave him to fight this fight alone. And Akutugawa knows Atsushi will be a formidable ally.

Atsushi let's Dazai go and he straightens up. "Atsushi, escort the Agency members out the building. We can hold a joint meeting at some point to discuss this."

He looks at Akutugawa "because I'm sure you're going to tell them everything?"

It's rhetorical but Akutugawa nods anyway. Dazai sighs. "thought so. Ah well, I trust that Atsushi knows best." He pats Atsushi's head "I'll be waiting for you in the Archive area, given that's still intact."

Atsushi smiles "alright, I'll see you than. But you might want to get moving." Dazai tilts his head "hm? Why?"

The smile on Atsushi's face turns into a smirk. He pulls out his phone from inside his coat and shows it to Dazai. Who goes horribly pale seeing the ongoing call...

... To Chuuya.

"... Atsushi how long?" Asks Dazai, quietly. "The whole time. I got worried because you were acting off. So I called Chuuya ahead of time to listen in, just to make sure you were okay."

At that all the blood drains from Dazai's face. "... He heard everything didn't he?" Atsushi nods, not even trying to hide his amusement. "Yup, you might wanna move. He'll be here any second." He pats his bosses shoulder in mock sympathy.

Before taking Akutugawa's hand and running down stairs. They are barely down the stairs before a high pitched scream echos through the building.

"DAZAI!"

"He's on the roof, Chuuya." Calls out Atsushi, ignoring Dazai's loud hush. "Thanks kid! I owe you one!" Calls Chuuya, somehow managing to hear him over the chaos.

"Is he... Gonna be okay?" Asks Akutugawa, not that he cares for the wellbeing for the Man in Black.

But he is curious.

Atsushi chuckles "Oh he'll be fine, Chuuya won't kill him. Maybe?" He shrugs "ah well, let's go find your friends."

Oh yes, Atsushi was absolutely going to be a formidable ally.

[inamagicalhallucination]

accidental sugar daddy akutagawa but he becomes self aware and is like 'wait why am i acting like ur sugar daddy' and atsushi is like 'what u want the sugar part now too??'

[kyouka-supremacy]

hello!

I saw your recent post and you hinted that Atsushi is actually kinda twisted and that yoh don't agree with his morals?

If its alr with you, do you mind elaborating? ❤️

Alright, to be fair, I *am* self aware enough to realize a lot of what I say about Atsushi is probably fairly detached from canon. When push comes to shove, he's just a guy trying to get through. A polite dude. I like to stretch on how a lot of his well-mannered behaviour and his desperate attempt to prove himself good are moved by deeply selfish reasons of validating his own right to live, but that said, that doesn't make him inherently evil, either.

Atsushi's double morality is something that comes up a lot, so please check out these posts!! (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8). But overall... Is a good action that is done for deeply selfish reasons, still good? I'm not sure. But when I watched the anime for the first time, and in episode 8 it turned out that Atsushi was not helping the train passengers out of spontaneous inclination to help people in need, but rather just due to a self-interested aim to validate his own right to live... Idk, it didn't positively impress me? I was even less positively impacted by the later line “people can't live unless someone tells them ‘it's okay to go on’! ” The thing is, both scenes feel like more of the author's underlying worldviews that end up being conveyed through the series' protagonist, and that's a consideration to be made by its own– it's not an issue I have with Atsushi specifically, as much as me fundamentally disagreeing with most of bsd's perspectives on the world, as I've already said before.

But that doesn't change the fact that Atsushi is fundamentally selfish¹, does it? The difference is - I think - that for the author, more or less all people are, while to me no one is born selfish. But that still makes Atsushi not really morally virtuous, and I think that's narratively interesting to explore by its own!!! What if there was a character who only did good because (he thinks) that's the only way he has the right to live? What if there was someone who believed the right to live had to be owned in the first place? After having overcome the admittedly jarring sentiment I felt when first engaged with the character, I must admit those are some compelling concepts to explore, even despite disagreeing with the underlying morals.

At the end of the day, it's just a complex nature of the character? I like to emphasize on Atsushi's uncommendable selfishness especially as opposite to Akutagawa's hidden selflessness; but all said, a man who tries to do good despite it not being his first nature is a better man than any of us, isn't he?

¹ And Atsushi is profoundly selfish. I think that Beast in particular proves that he's ready to commit evil just as much as in canon he is to do good, if it's to pursue the goal of his own survival. The first thing we see him do, at the very start of the series, is, symbolically, contemplating robbing other people for his own survival (though in real life I would never judge someone's morality in life and death situations... But maybe since this is fiction, that can still hold narrative value). He will stop acting good as long as it's no longer required of him (each of his interactions with Akutagawa). Maybe it's a little pessimist way to interpret the manga, but perhaps still a consistent one?

[sickficideas]

anyway you asked for sskk whump so I feel like it would be very very bad (/pos) if akutagawa were having a bad symptom day and then also had an anxiety attack

imagine strangled, too-fast little fish-out-of-water gasps in between endless coughing fits as his knees give out and he crumples to the ground, lips pale & eyes frantic, probably only semi-aware

imagine atsushi holding him up and rubbing circles on aku’s chest and trying his hardest to stay calm (it’s not working at all) because he can’t risk further upsetting his bf and making it worse and one of them needs to stay functional

this is so bad and so self indulgent I’m sorry

I LOVE this idea because Akutagawa absolutely struggles with extreme and completely unregulated anxiety and we even this in BSD, especially in dark era (his extreme reactions, hatred of being touched, etc) that I think he would often mistake for symptoms of his illness ...chest pains, struggling to breathe properly even if its just things not being able to take a full breath....he has this constant low buzz of anxiety but there are a lot of things that can set him off and turn things into an anxiety attack very quickly, Atsushi doesn't know any of those things because Akutagawa is SO HARD to read but also he's mistaking these signs ad symptoms of his illness too, he'll only realize halfway through that Akutagawa is having an anxiety attack and that it's only worse because of his illness, not caused by it😭😭😭😭

I'm hurt so much by the idea of Atsushi trying to calm him down, but it's so hard for Akutagawa to breathe through all of the coughing, he can't even get a proper breath in when he's really trying to💔😭😭

Akutagawa is so tired after, leaning on Atsushi's shoulder wherever they might be, Atsushi wants him to go lay down somewhere more comfortable so he can rest but he doesn't want to move him if he's already asleep 🥺🥺 Akutagawa pretends to sleep even if he's not tired because he's embarassed and he doesn't want Atsushi to say a word about what happened 😔😔😔😔💔💔

[saffron0v0]

Didn't come out the way I hoped, and I don't even know what gender it looks like, so let's just say he's a teenager here, because of the slightly softer features.

Now onto why he looks like that: I was going through the Nikolai tag, and I came across that one panel where he confessed his sanity, and self awareness to Atsushi before playing it off as a joke. That scene got me thinking... What if after commiting murder, or something in that area, he just stops for a moment to take his (literal) mask off before turning to look at the corpses littered around him with a blank, and if I didn't know any better, a slightly contemplative, uncertain gaze.

Here you go @kimetsu-chan :3. Sorry for projecting my hc/theory onto your request (⁠o⁠´⁠･⁠_⁠･⁠)⁠っ Hope you like it more than I do.