#THE RESISTANCE WAS RICH THEY ARE THE ***ENTIRE*** 1% LMAO | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wasabito · 4 years

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➽ corruption collab masterlist — hosted by @ultimate-astridwriting and @bummie ♥️

➽ note: definitely gonna come back and edit this a bit more because threesomes are hard as fuck, no pun intended lmao happy v-day everyone!

➽ word count: 3.2k

➽ cw/tags: polyamory + body worship + threesome + praise kink + public sex + choking + handjobs/fingering + vaginal sex + squirting + established relationship

➽ pairing: akaashi x fem!reader x bokuto

💿 1. nasty — ariana grande || 2. come on — jhene aiko

With Valentine's Day fast approaching, it becomes rather apparent that love and romance are in the air. Storefronts are decorated in bubblegum pinks and reds. Flower shops promote their special bouquet arrangements at discounted prices. Even your favorite hole in the wall coffee shop has fallen prey to the spirit of cupid as they announce their new strawberry shortcake dessert and heart-shaped scones.

In lieu of staying home for the third night this week, your boyfriends escort you to dinner at an upscale restaurant in the city. They treat you to a five-course meal and a bottle of wine even pricier than the dinner itself. One would think, after three years of dating, you would no longer be caught unawares by their spontaneity. And yet, here they are, once again pulling the rug from underneath your four-inch heels.

Your gaze flickers from Akaashi's tranquil smile to Bokuto's wide grin.

Adjusting the napkin in your lap, you open your mouth to speak, then pause as the right words fail it come. Brain short-circuiting instead, you let out a confused, "Huh?!"

"We're taking you to Italy!" Bokuto repeats, about ready to hop out of his seat with excitement. He looks to Akaashi, "Three nights in Venice, right 'Kaashi?"

"Yes, we decided on Venice after you told us you'd always wanted to visit. Remember Koutarou's birthday last year?"

"But that was like months ago! Did you two honestly hold onto that drunk little confession this entire time?"

"Of course."

"Yup!!"

It's in moments like these when you are reminded of their history together, first as teammates playing volleyball, and eventually close friends. Not much longer after that, you'd met and fallen for Akaashi, then Bokuto, and thus began the relationship of today. While you find it a little ridiculous, it seems neither of them has any qualms about this trip.

After all, you are their lovely girlfriend. Why wouldn't they want to make your wishes come true?

Bokuto claps his hands, eyes sparkling. "Everything's already planned out, babe, so don't worry your pretty little head, okay?"

You can't argue with that. Reaching over, you take Bokuto's hand in your right and Akaashi's in your left. "Alright, since you two went to all this trouble for me, I guess I'll just sit back and enjoy it."

♥️

Venice is just as beautiful as you imagined.

It looks as if it's floating upon blue-green waters with lots of sunshine, beautiful architecture, and a vibrancy that makes it feel like the city has a life of its own. You are grateful you didn't come by yourself. There is no way you would've enjoyed it without Akaashi and Bokuto at your side.

"We're about a ten-minute walk from Piazza San Marco," Akaashi says as he taps his glasses. His sharp gaze is locked on the map in his hands, likely committing most landmarks and details to memory. "Would you like to check it out?"

"Yeah! Let's do it."

"Off we go, go, go!"

Thus, a majority of your first day in Venice is spent sightseeing.

The three of you take a gondola ride through Canale Grande, then have a peek into the Gallerie Dell'Accademia at Akaashi's insistence, though naturally, you wouldn't have come all the way to Italy and not visited at least one art museum. Afterward, the three of you go to the Le Mercerie shopping district and buy gifts for your friends before finally taking a pit stop for the most delicious gelato in the city.

The sunsets sooner than expected, casting the entire block in deep red hues. Bokuto's mood is greatly influenced by it, and the jetlag certainly doesn't help. He props himself against you, nuzzling you in a way that says he's itching for a kiss.

"Tired, Kou?"

Bokuto hums. "A little... More hungry than anything."

He leans in and pecks your lips with a sated smile. "Maybe I should eat you. I mean, how is it my girl's so damn cute? Not fair, I can't resist."

You snort at Bo's silliness but can't help shivering a little at the tiny implication of his words. He always did like to lay his head on your thighs, leaving a trail of kisses and love bites where he could.

So, the thought of him eating you out made you squeeze your thighs together.

Akaashi approaches with your frozen treats held between his long fingers; having overheard Bokuto earlier, he tucks his wallet back into his pocket.

"We'll get some dinner after we drop off these shopping bags. How does that sound?"

You eagerly take your gelato from him with a smile.

"Sounds like a plan."

Akaashi nods, standing at your other side, close enough to brush elbows though not as close as Bokuto, who was nearly hovering.

The three of you are in one of the narrow, maze-like streetways, basking in the warm, early evening glow. The sweet taste of fruit and cream on your tongue fills you with so much contentment, especially while being with your favorite people. You aren't sure if anything could top the way you currently felt, and the trip has just barely started.

Upon arriving at your temporary place of residence, a quaint little villa on the waterfront just along the shore of Punta Sabbioni Beach, Bokuto immediately kicks off his sandals, dumps the bags, and promptly falls asleep on the couch.

"It's so weird seeing Kou like this." You remark. "On any normal day, he's brimming with almost too much energy, but now he's all tired."

"Well, he did stay up an entire twelve hours on the plane. It was only a matter of time before fatigue caught up to him." Akaashi picks up Bokuto's shoes with practiced ease and places them by the others.

There is a fond smile running along the edges of his mouth as he tucks a throw around the man's larger frame. You help him adjust a spare pillow under Bo's head and then set off to explore the rest of the area.

It seemed like everything about Venice was taken straight out of a romance film, with its cobblestone paths, gothic cathedral architecture, crisp ocean waters, and authentic Italian cuisine. It is no wonder the city's known to draw hapless souls together in romance. Even you fell subject to it, and by each passing moment, you crave to be with your boyfriends.

You are standing at the balcony overlooking the beach, satisfied with your inspection of the villa when Akaashi comes to stand behind you. He holds onto the railings, caging you in his arms, and rests his chin on your shoulder.

"He was right, you know." He murmurs. "You do look good enough to eat."

Blunt as ever. Apparently, something's never change.

Though one might say that Akaashi is as he's always been after high school and college, there is no denying his boost in confidence. After all, he had landed not one but two rather attractive partners.

He kisses your cheek, then your jaw, before latching onto your neck.

The sun's scenic view on the horizon, reflecting upon the beach sands of gold and shimmering orange waves, makes for an excellent backdrop.

You turn to face Akaashi and pull him into a heated kiss. His lips convey a sense of devotion to you, and with each press of them against yours, you can feel just how bad he's yearning for more.

"Kei," you whisper. "Let's go inside."

In a moment, Akaashi whisks you off your feet quite similar to how Bokuto would, though you both don't even make it to the bedroom.

Your other partner had sat up on the sofa, hair flat on one side, scrubbing his eyelids.

"Guys, I'm freaking starving!" Bokuto groans. "Let's get some food or something."

He doesn't even notice how you and Akaashi are breathing heavy or how your clothes are sporting wrinkles that were not previously there. Regardless, Akaashi has food delivered while you went ahead to shower the day's journey away. There are still two days left. You'd get your chance with them at some point.

♥️

Sadly, the entirety of day two is spent indoors. Heavy sheets of rain continue to fall, muddying the shoreline. The three of you huddle on the sofa wrapped in blankets with subtitled movies playing in the background.

Even though you would've much rather been out exploring in the city, just sharing in your boyfriend's warmth would suffice for now. Akaashi hands you a steaming cup of something rich in both color and smell.

"What's this?"

"Just espresso." He takes the empty seat beside you.

You savor the taste while leaning against his shoulder. "Mm, nice."

Bokuto keeps his head on your lap, loving how you thread your fingers into his hair.

It is a tranquil kind of peace that soon lulls you to sleep.

Later, when you finally wake up, it's dark, and you're alone. A blanket had been tucked around your shoulders to shield you from the sudden chill. At some point, the television had been shut off along with every light in the room. You might've been a little scared if not for the voices coming from the second floor. Slowly, you creep up the winding staircase, dragging along the blanket around your shoulders.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Bokuto chuckles. "You're finally up!"

His hair is down, wet from his shower, and he holds a thin towel together around his waist. In his hand is a cellphone, and he doesn't hesitate to shove the screen into your face. "Say hi, Tetsu!"

"Hi Y/N, how's it going?"

You blink slowly, still trying to wake yourself up.

"Kuroo, hey… I'm well. How are you?"

"Great, just about to head out for a late lunch. I hear it's almost ten pm over there."

"Yeah, it's an eight-hour time difference."

You and Kuroo continue to chat while Bokuto towels off his hair and puts on clothes. Afterward, you let Bokuto resume his conversation and join Akaashi on the bed. The man had gone full editor-mode with his glasses propped up in his hair as he read through some work documents.

When you approach, he greets you with a kiss on the cheek. "You look well-rested."

"Is that your way of telling me I have drool on my cheek, Keiji?"

He cracks a tiny smile, eyes taking in your features, then he pokes your cheek with his index finger. "Perhaps."

You scrub the corners of your mouth with your sleeve and drape yourself over Akaashi, work be damned. This was supposed to be a special weekend for relaxing.

"I really wanted to go to the beach today." You pout.

Akaashi interlocks his fingers with yours. "Maybe we still can. It stopped raining a few hours ago."

"Really?!"

You hop off the bed and head for the window. He's right, the rain had long stopped, and the beach lay bare, lit by only the moonlight.

Maybe a short walk to the beach would do you some good.

♥️

The grains of sand feel cold against your feet without the sun to beat down on them, but you don't complain. The air is humid enough on its own that you forgo wearing actual clothes and instead wear a swimsuit along with Bokuto's old Fukurōdani windbreaker.

You walk along the shore, toes digging into the sand, letting the ocean waves lap at your feet to wash them clean again.

At first, it's so eerily quiet without a soul around except you, but even that doesn't last long. You hear Bokuto's voice bellow into the night as he jogs towards you in nothing but swim trunks. Behind him, Akaashi trails slowly after with a blanket in hand.

"We thought you might want some company." He says and spreads the cover on the sand several feet away from the water, content with just watching.

Bokuto grabs your hand and you go running to the water with him, but a second later, you both come sprinting back.

"It's freezing!"

"S-So co-co-cold!"

You collapse on top of him, fingers splayed across his bare chest. However, when you try to sit up, Bokuto has other plans. He keeps you pressed to his chest with both arms around your waist.

"Let me keep you warm, baby!"

You know he meant it in the most innocent way, but you can't help but think other thoughts. Your nerves fray at the image that blooms in your head and spreads like wildfire.

And as Akaashi strokes your back, you know he's probably read your mind.

It's the way your eyes seem to glitter with want that gives it away. Akaashi has always been rather observant, and so your silent cues are something he's always been privy to.

His nimble fingers curve around the nape of your neck, and he tilts his head to capture your lips in a kiss. This one is unlike the one from yesterday. There is no rush, no desire to quicken his haste; instead, he savors the taste of you like it's something to be thoroughly enjoyed.

Underneath you, Bokuto stirs, growing aroused at the sight of his two lovers' kiss. He can't decide whether he wants to join in or sit back and watch. But his large hand comes down to stroke your ass, resulting in a moan you breathe directly into Akaashi's mouth.

"You're not usually so forthcoming, Keiji," you whisper against his lips. "Eager, are we?"

Akaashi pulls away just enough to pepper your face in feathery kisses. "Can you blame me? When I have such a lovely girlfriend here."

As if confirming his words, he slips a hand under your jacket and cups your breast. The pads of his thumb brush along the seams of your bathing suit, caressing your nipple.

"Kou, let's show Y/N just how much we love her, yes?"

Bokuto didn't need to be told twice. He had been in entranced by you and Akaashi, completely taken by the way your lips danced upon one another. But now, he wanted more than anything to touch you, kiss you, hold you.

Bokuto cradles you in his lap, propping your legs open with his knees so Akaashi can kneel in front of you. It didn't take much for him to relieve you of your clothing, namely your swimming bottoms. But the second the air hits your bare cunt, you feel tense.

You aren't sure what it was, but the atmosphere is different. Both Akaashi and Bokuto are so focused on you, it feels like you're under a spotlight.

"You're so pretty, so beautiful," Bokuto says while squeezing your thighs. His warm breath tickles your ear as he presses his nose into your neck. Next, his lips follow suit. "Wanna fuck you, so bad baby. You'd like that, right?"

His words earn him a chuckle from Akaashi, who merely licks two of his fingers, wetting them and sliding into you. Your mouth parts, shaky breaths barely expelled from your lungs. You're hyper-aware of the fact that you're literally being fingered on a beach in the middle of the night, and you can't bring yourself to care. It feels good to be pampered by the two men you love.

For every moan, Akaashi gives you double for your efforts, thrusting his fingers just right, curving them in such a way that has your back arching off Bokuto, who has also taken to fondling your nipples. With every roll of his hips, you feel his cock against your ass, and it pushes you further into Akaashi's fingers.

Your impending orgasm sweeps by so close and yet so far away. All you can do is rock yourself faster.

"Please," you whimper. "W-Wanna come."

Akaashi crooks his fingers, pressing into the perfect spot that sends you hurtling over the edge. Your cunt spasms around his fingers, clenching in intervals you have no control over until his hand is coated with your wet, slick juices that keep coming the more you squirt all over him.

"She's so wet 'Kaashi. Look at our pretty girl."

Akaashi places a chaste kiss on your forehead with a smile.

"She's doing well, so far. Let's see if she can keep going."

Bokuto shimmies his shorts off enough to free his hard cock. He had been uncharacteristically patient until now, but that was soon to change as he lines himself up with your cunt, teasing you with just the tip.

Your whining is unintelligible, but both men understand you more or less.

"Give the pretty girl what she wants," Akaashi says. He strokes his own hard-on at the sight of Bokuto's pushing past your wet folds. "I know she can take more than that."

Bokuto has always been girthy, and it takes you more than a few seconds to adjust to his size, but when you finally do, it feels like heaven.

The position you're in gives Bokuto all the power to thrust into you like a ragdoll. But it's only when you make eye contact with Akaashi that you realize that it's, in fact, the other way around for him in particular. From where he sits, stroking his cock with flushed cheeks and choked moans, you see just how much control you have over him.

"Kiss me." You moan.

Akaashi doesn't let you repeat yourself. He kisses you long and hard even as you grip his throat with one hand and his hair with the other. He kisses you until his lips are red and bruised.

"Good boy. Both of y-you."

Bokuto groans loudly. "Say it again. Keep saying it!"

"Y-You're both so good. I-" your hips stutter against Akaashi's fingers that are rubbing circles into your clit. "Good, so good-"

That's all it takes to take Bokuto over the edge, blowing his load. "Perfect, so fucking perfect."

You can feel another orgasm swelling up inside your belly. You try to tell them but can't, too overcome by the feeling of your body tingling with desire. It's too much, overwhelmingly so; your vision blurs with unshed tears as Bokuto continues to pound into sopping pussy. Pleasure floods every fiber of your being until you're limp and every nerve in your body is set alight.

Bokuto slips out of you easily, a string of his semen following.

You can only look on in a drowsy haze as Bokuto leans over and kisses you and then Akaashi, working him over with a tight fist.

♥️

The following morning, you’re the first to wake, but only because there’s a limb jammed into your back and a heavy weight on your chest. It takes you a moment to realize, but it’s Bokuto’s elbow poking you and Akaashi’s head resting on you.

All three of you are a tangle of limbs in bed, but you aren’t sure how you’d gotten there.

“G’mornin’” Bokuto breathes. His lips caress the column of your neck.

“Morning.”

You shift into a more comfortable position. Though doing so presses Akaashi’s morning wood against your thigh.

“Keiji, you awake yet?”

“Mmm barely.” Akaashi looks up at you through his lashes, then smiles and nuzzles closer into your chest.

Bokuto, content with being your big spoon, reaches over to touch Akaashi, hands cupping his cheek. “It’s Valentine’s Day!”

“That’s true, should we do something special.”

Thinking about the previous night, you feel desire stirring in your gut. “Could we just... do it again?”

Both men look to each other then back at you, sporting matching smiles.

“Why not?”

#bokuaka x reader #bokuto x reader #koutarou bokuto x reader #akaashi x reader #keiji akaashi x reader #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu smut

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boxofbonesfic · 3 years

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Pattycakes (Chapter 3)

Title: Pattycakes

Summary: Like they say, it really does just take one time... Patricia Hodgins knows that better than anyone. She’s got even worse luck when it comes to her child’s father: Billionaire playboy Thor Odinson. He’s selfish and manipulative; and Patty’s not sure which outcome frightens her more—killing him or letting him worm his way into her heart.

Pairing: Thor x Black OFC

Rating: Explicit

Chapter 1 // Chapter 2

Warnings: Manipulation, Possessive behavior, Mildly dubious consent, Breeding Kink, Age Difference (significant but not extreme), Stalking (light stalking though lol), Past Relationships, Class drama, Dad!Thor, Character improvement

A/N: God I just love this trope, idk what to even say, lmao. Send me all of your rich-dad-threatens-to-sue-because-jealousy fics. Seriously 😂

This is a work of FICTION, and it is Dark, so I assume once you’ve clicked through the link that you are comfortable with that. I do not give consent for my work to be copied, translated, or posted elsewhere, even if I am credited. This work is entirely mine, and unbeta’d, so read at your own risk! 😘

🍼

Chapter 3: “Let’s make a deal”

Patty and Thor reach an unusual agreement.

L: Curly hair. I don’t know, I didn’t really look at her.

Thor growled, resisting the urge to throw his phone against the wall. “What’s the matter, sweetheart?” The voice he’d found so attractive now grated on his nerves, and he swatted Idunn’s hands away, ignoring her.

And I was in such a good mood.

He wasn’t sure why Loki’s text had shaken him so much. So what, he’d seen some girl he fucked. So what? But the kid… Mention of the kid had made him nervous. He wasn’t a genius, and he wasn’t amazing at math, but… a daycare aged girl would be about the right age… Idunn hmphed behind him, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw her cross her arms. “I’m just trying to help.” She snapped, sweeping a curtain of her honey blonde curls behind her pale shoulder.

“And how would you help?” Thor asked, quirking a brow at her. That was the thing about these women his father insisted on parading in and out of his life. They had pedigree, certainly. But no substance. Idunn’s eyes glittered as she regarded him in the low light, and she stretched, almost lazily, though he knew the movement was cleverly calculated. The lingerie he’d been so excited to tear into now no longer interested him, and as she drew her fingers across her barely concealed nipples, Thor felt himself shrink. “Why don’t you go home, Idunn? I’ll call you a cab.”

He’d had her more than enough times that weekend anyway.

She didn’t protest, and left silently, likely not desiring any conflict that might ruin her chances at landing him. Or, at the very least, landing his ring on her finger. He ran a hand through his hair, sighing frustratedly. He remembered Patricia, of course—mainly because of the explosive argument they’d had on her way out. She hadn’t left her number, of course—a pity, because he certainly would have called at least twice more—and he’d thought of her no more.

Until now.

Odin tended to turn a blind eye to most of the things Thor did, but he knew that having an illegitimate kid running around might bring an end to that. His brow furrowed as he thought, and Thor moved to his alcohol cabinet to remove a bottle of scotch, pouring himself a glass. What’s her game?

In all likelihood, he was worrying over nothing. Wouldn’t she have contacted him if the kid was his? Have said something? Anything? He went around in circles until far into the night, what ifs turning over and over in his mind.

He would wait for her after he got off of work. Loki had texted him around six, so it was likely that she would be there between four and five—he would just wait around the lobby.

Just to make sure.

—

All day, Thor was irritable. He wasn’t normally particularly pleasant in the office—in fact, most employees knew about his temper, and rightfully steered clear of him on a good day. He barreled through the hallways, smoke practically rolling out of his ears. In fact, when Loki entered his office, Thor snapped to attention, a scowl on his face.

“What?” He rubbed his temples. “What do you want?”

“Well don’t be too friendly,” Loki drawled, perching himself on the edge of his brother’s desk. “What’s got your panties in a knot today? Expense reports?”

Thor scowled deeper. “Nothing.” Though he doubted that Loki would make gossip of his situation, he knew his family better than anyone. Perhaps Loki wouldn’t betray his confidence to his father, but there were ears everywhere in the office, and the last thing he needed was for Tyr—or God fucking forbid Balder to hear about this, and his father would have his hide. “Bad day.”

“Really? Because the partnership deal with Stark Industries is looking great. And you’re the one heading that off. Father’s going to shit gold bricks.” Though he didn’t doubt Loki’s trustworthiness, he knew information gathering when he heard it.

“Just more paperwork. More meetings.” He said evasively. He knew he wasn’t fooling his clever brother, but it seemed that explanation was enough, because he shrugged. “And the building permits have been held up again.” All of which was true, of course.

“I’ll make a few calls to the city, see if we can’t get those pushed through. Are you going to be at the dinner tonight?”

Fuck.

He’d forgotten about the dinner—one of the more useless social niceties he had little patience for. It would be starting almost immediately after work, but if he was going to wait to see if Patricia showed up…

“No. Cover for me?” He asked, and Loki nodded. He avoided them as often as possible—going to just enough of his family’s social events to keep his father happy with him. When the old man finally croaked, it would be worth it, though. All he had to do was keep it up. After all, how much longer could he live?

By the time four rolled around, Thor had practically paced a trail into the carpet. He headed down in the elevator, mulling over his situation. If the kid was his, he stood to lose everything. His career, his future, his life. Everything could go up in fucking flames. He’d been eager that night, he remembered as much. And the sex had been good, from what he could recall. But what he couldn’t remember was a condom. He scrubbed a hand down his face.

She’s probably not mine.

The lobby was busy with activity; in a building that large, there were multiple offices and businesses open at the same time. The ground floor was the one that housed the daycare, and it was by that entrance that Thor waited. He tried peeking inside nonchalantly, but there weren’t any kids that stuck out to him, not enough to recognize as his own, anyway.

At the thirty minute mark, he began to grow restless. Loki had said he’d seen her picking her kid up here, hadn’t he? Thor scrolled back through his text messages, trying to confirm it.

“Hi, Patricia here to pick up Amelia, please.” There was a woman at the front desk, she’d obviously gotten there while he was distracted. Her kinky hair was loose around her shoulders, and she wore a white blouse, tucked into a gray pencil skirt. Thor edged closer to the desk, his eyes narrowed.

“No problem Miss Hodgins, we’ll go get her for you.” The receptionist moved away from the desk, leaving them alone in the entrance. He couldn’t quite see her face, but he didn’t need to to know it was her.

“Patricia.” He saw her back go rigid as she turned slowly, her expression first fearful, and then unreadable. She looked just like he remembered; a huge mass of thick, kinky hair, her round face and plump, heart shaped mouth. She’d filled out—motherhood had been particularly kind to her, he noted, his gaze resting appreciatively on her breasts, and the swell of her hips.

“You...What?” She sputtered, her brows furrowing in confusion. “How did you…”

“I work in the building.” He replied smoothly, enjoying seeing her off balance. It was just as pleasurable now as it had been before, putting her off kilter. She looked away, muttering a curse.

“Of fucking course you do.” Her hackles were up, it didn’t take an expert to see that. Before she could spit more vitriol at him, however, they were interrupted.

“Mommy who that?” The inquisitive little voice made him look down, and Thor felt his mouth drop open slightly. She was even tinier than her mother, but shared her same rounded chin and high cheekbones. Her skin was lighter, a coffee color, and her mother’s same unruly hair sprouted from her head as well. What was most shocking, however, were the curious, bright blue eyes she was staring at him with, and his own nose, set on her face. Patricia bent to pick her up, resting her daughter on her hip as she regarded him coldly.

“No one important.” Thor could only stare as she made her way towards the exit, his heart hammering in his chest.

That’s my daughter.

Movement returned to his legs as she reached the door, pushing against it to open it, and Thor raced after her, the shock giving way to anger. He grabbed her, uncaring that he was beginning to make a scene.

“Let go of me!”

“Is she mine?” He asked, ignoring her request. People around them were slowing down to watch, and Patricia seemed acutely aware of this, eyeing them nervously. The little girl in the crook of her other arm made a nervous noise, her wide eyes suspicious. “I need to know, Patricia.” She yanked her arm out of his grip, and he narrowed his eyes, though he didn’t reprimand her. Yet.

“Can we talk about this somewhere that is not the lobby of the daycare I bring my daughter?” She emphasized her claim as she clutched the girl tighter.

“We can talk in my office.”

She snorted. “Right, yeah. I’m going to take my toddler to an unknown location with a practical stranger. Think again.”

Thor clenched his fists in frustration. “Fine. There’s a cafe a couple of blocks over. Can we talk there?”

She narrowed her eyes at him, pursing her lips. “Fine. Ten minutes.”

Thor got there first, and waited at a table, nervously tapping his foot against the ground. She looks like me. That was the most shocking thing of all, seeing his own features mirrored on another face. When Patricia finally showed, it was with her in tow, holding her hand as she gently led her inside.

She spotted him easily, and the relaxed look left her face, derision replacing it. He wasn’t sure what he was more offended by; her open scorn, or the fact that she dared to scorn him after she’d cum so hard on his cock that she’d blanked out.

She pulled out a chair for her daughter, helping her sit and setting her up with crayons and a book she produced from the little girl’s colorful backpack emblazoned with animated characters he didn’t recognize. She sat then, smoothing her skirt below her and folding her hands in front of her on the table.

“Is she mine, Patricia?” He asked, nodding at her.

“Do you even want to know her name before you lay claim to my child?” She snapped, her lips pressed into a thin line as she regarded him. “What’s your name, babes?” She asked, rubbing an affectionate hand through her hair.

“Amelia Hodgins. I’m three years old.” She recited, as though she’d been coached on what to say when asked that question, which she likely was. He smiled—she’d pronounced three as free, and God help him, it was adorable.

Amelia. He tasted the name on his tongue, frowning. Not the name he would have picked, certainly. “It’s nice to meet you, Amelia.” He said, reaching forward to shake her little hand. She grinned up at him, placing her tiny hand in his own. He marveled at how small she was— how beautiful— and then flicked his eyes up to Patricia expectantly.

“Is she?”

“What he means, mommy?” Amelia asked, and Patricia glared at him.

“Stop saying that!” She snapped at him. “Nothing, sweetheart. Why don’t you use your purple crayon? You love purple.” Amelia scrunched her face with displeasure, as though she knew she was being kept from something, but lacked the words to express it. When she finally began coloring, Patricia snapped her head back up.

“She’s not… yours Thor. Amelia’s father died.” She said flippantly, rolling her eyes at him. It was almost convincing enough to make him stop questioning. She’s not yours, Thor. Hot anger flooded him at her flippant denial of what he knew was true—and then jealousy. How many since me? He wondered enviously. How many men had entered and exited his daughter’s life, spending time with her while Thor—as her fucking father— had been denied that. His eyes narrowed. And how many , he thought venomously, even as his eyes traveled appreciatively down the exposed line of her now ample cleavage, did sweet Patricia open those soft thighs for?

“I don’t believe you.” He said stonily, leaning back in his chair as he crossed his legs at the ankles. “I want a test.” She was his—he was certain of it, though Patricia’s consistent denials were close to making him second guess it. Amelia glanced up at him, her wide eyes curious before she hurriedly looked back down at her coloring book, continuing to scribble.

“Well you’re not getting one.” She replied. “What are you so afraid of? I don’t want anything from you.” Patricia’s tone was icy.

“I think you know.” He said accusingly, his frown widening into a smug smirk. It wouldn’t have been the first time someone tried to slap a member of his esteemed family with trumped up paternity suits. “I think you know I’m Thor Odinson, and my father owns one of the largest corporations in the country. I think you know I’m worth quite a lot, and that having my—”

“Oh screw you. ” She cut him off, pointing a finger accusingly at him. “I never once contacted you. Never asked you for a single cent. Nothing. Not even your goddamn name does she have. You know why? Because she isn’t yours , Thor. She’s mine. She’s my daughter, and after this ridiculous confrontation, she still will be. And you’re going to go home to your penthouse and your flavor of the fucking week, and I’m going to go home and raise her. Have the night you deserve.” She spat. She packed up Amelia’s things as she spoke, offering no explanation to the confused little girl, who it appeared had never seen her mother so angry.

Thor said nothing and watched her, observing as she bundled her daughter up, and stormed out of the coffee shop. The door swung shut, and Thor immediately took his phone out of his pocket.

T: I need Natasha’s number.

L: Don’t you have it already? And for what?

T: I think someone hacked my computer.

L:...Okay? I’ll send it in a second.

When the contact came through, he saved it before calling her.

“Thor. What can I do for you?” She answered, not bothering with small talk.

“I need you to look up information on someone.”

— —

Patricia’s heart was hammering in her chest as she left the coffee shop. How fucking dare he? She seethed, grinding her teeth as she walked. Her pace was quick and angry, and if not for Amelia’s upset wail, she would have kept going, plowing through the evening crowd toward the train station.

“Mommy, it hurts!” Patty released her guiltily, before dropping to one knee.

“I’m sorry, sweetie. Mommy was rushing, I didn’t mean to pull so hard,” She apologized. “Do you want to stop?”

Amelia sniffled. “Go home. Wanna go home.” She said slowly, wiping her teary eyes with the back of her small hand.

“Okay, baby. Let’s go home.”

Even with the evening rush, it didn’t take too long to get back to Brooklyn, and Amelia was cranky by the time they did. On the walk home from the train station, she questioned Patricia incessantly about Thor, though she didn’t know his name.

“Who that was, mommy?” She asked, turning those wide eyes up at her mother. Patty had almost felt a little guilty about lying, but it was true. She didn’t want anything from him, so what did it matter? They didn’t need him. She was doing fine on her own, Amelia was happy and well cared for. But part of her felt… bad.

How could a man like that be a good father?

“That was… an old friend of mommy’s.” She said after a moment of consideration. “We… used to know each other before you were born.”

Amelia’s mouth fell open in surprise, as though that was the strangest thing. “Before? That’s a long time ago.” She replied decisively.

Patricia laughed in spite of herself. “You’re right, it was a long time ago.”

She didn’t have the strength for dinner, and Amelia was just as happy eating pizza as she was anything that Patricia cooked. She let her watch T.V. that night while they ate—a rare treat. Amelia’s television time was strictly monitored, and Patricia tried her best not to let it get out of control. But that night her mind kept wandering, and she found her daughter tugging her hand and repeating herself. So she’d turned on netflix, and let her three year old put on whatever show she wanted; while fixing herself a glass of wine.

It’s right about now that I miss smoking weed, She mused, sighing as she took a sip. “God.” She muttered, rubbing her temples. Amelia was happy enough to sit on the rug and watch bubble guppies while her mother sat on the weathered armchair she’d acquired in college.

After a couple of episodes, she grabbed the remote from Amelia, who protested. “Bath time, fish.” She replied, tapping her nose. “Don’t you want to be all clean for class tomorrow?” Amelia looked thoughtful, as though weighing each option. Patricia laughed. “Come on.”

And when Amelia was in bed, and all the lights were out, she checked the door to make sure it was locked, before sliding the deadbolt across—just in case. She rested her forehead against the cool wood, sighing. Had he seen her there, dropping off Amelia, and put two and two together? How had she not known who he was? The apartment, the name… all of those should have clued her in, but Patricia had simply put it all aside, preferring not to think about that night at all.

She didn’t regret it exactly, after all, it had brought her Amelia—but she wished more than anything that her daughter’s father could be anyone other than Thor Odinson. She headed back toward her bedroom, and spent an hour or two putting up her bookshelf, and unpacking a few boxes of books. It was busywork, something for her nervous hands to do while her mind raced.

It had felt good to lay into him, after holding her tongue for three long years. Patty threw herself back onto her bed, a breath escaping her body at the impact. I just have to make it one month at this daycare, and then I can find a new place. Somewhere he won’t be able to stand outside and stalk us.

—

The rest of the week was fairly uneventful. Patricia took Amelia to daycare, went to work, she picked her back up, and went home. It was tempting to forget the encounter she’d had with Thor just a few days earlier.

Her new job was demanding, moreso than she was used to. She had to call clients, verify orders, return phone calls, monitor the emails and requests, loaning pieces out to other galleries, getting pieces back from said galleries… Her head threatened to explode—but it was all worth it on friday morning, when her first weekly check deposited into her account. That evening, as she’d rode the train home with Amelia perched on her lap, she’d told her daughter the good news.

“What do you want for dinner tonight? Anything you want, Melly belly.”

Amelia pursed her lips in thought. “Ice cream.”

“Just ice cream?” Patricia asked, raising an eyebrow. “Nothing else?”

“And… apple pie.” She added, nodding her head decisively.

“Hah! Okay. I’ll see what I can do. How about the barbecue place? You like them, right?” Her daughter grinned wide in response.

“I like ribs, mommy.” She agreed, and offered her her hand. Patricia sighed. Ever since Thor had shaken her hand, she’d taken a liking to the act, wanting to do it at the end of every conversation. Though her paternity was a closely kept secret, she found it odd that Amelia had… liked him. She’d been curious about him, though she normally reacted to new men with suspicion and shyness.

It irritated her. How dare he try to waltz in here and order her around when she hadn’t so much as lifted a finger to find him? She’d known he was callous and selfish, that much had been clearly evident when she’d looked back on his behavior, but this was a new level of controlling. Patty had a feeling he wasn’t done with them yet, and though he’d let them walk away from the coffee shop, she didn’t think that would be the end of it.

“This is us.” She got up from her seat, making sure they had all their bags. Patricia was nothing if not a focused mother—and it was because of this focus that she failed to see the woman a few seats away also get up, and make her way over to the same set of doors.

She was so focused on Amelia on their walk home from the train station that she didn’t see her trailing behind them while scrolling on her phone, though her eyes were locked on the pair in front of her.

“Put your hood up, it’s chilly out.” She instructed, moving to help her. When Patricia undid the latch on the gate, they went up the stairs and unlocked the door. The woman kept walking until they’d gone inside, and then circled back to watch for a few minutes.

She pulled out her phone as she walked away.

“Yeah, it’s a brownstone. Canarsie. No, no men. None all week, I doubt she’s seeing anyone, just goes to bed after dinner.” She paused. “I mean… if you want my opinion, which is worth less that shit because I’m not a goddamn geneticist … she’s yours, Thor.”

—

Patricia’s suspicions were confirmed when she checked her mail the next morning. They’d slept in, and she’d coerced Amelia into “helping” her unpack with freezer waffles. And when she’d opened her mailbox, she immediately took note of the envelope with no postage, and no writing on it. She’d rushed back inside, her heart hammering in her chest as she slammed the door shut behind her. She dropped the other mail on the hall table, ignoring it as she opened the unmarked envelope with shaking fingers.

I want a paternity test.

It was written on a post it, attached to— is this a fucking court order? The papers included a copy of a formal request by a fancy lawyer, and the judge’s corresponding decision. Her vision narrowed. This wasn’t supposed to happen. This was supposed to be their new start, and instead, her old life had sniffed her out like a fucking bloodhound. There wasn’t a signature, but she knew it was from Thor—who else would demand this?

When she wandered back into the living room, Amelia was playing on her phone. She’d figured out the password months ago, and she’d neglected to change it.

“Can I have my phone, Amelia?” Patricia asked, holding out her hand. It was a useful distraction when she needed to take her attention off of something, She handed it over reluctantly, and Patty unlocked it, intending to text Wanda—when she saw she had a text from an unsaved number.

T: I’d like to talk about this in person, but if you would rather go through the courts, we can do that too.

She didn’t know how he’d gotten her number, but she supposed if he knew enough about her to find her daycare, then her cellphone number wasn’t a far jump. “Oh Christ.” Her fingers shook as she typed. It would be better than him trying for custody after paternity was established—and of course it would be. It wouldn’t look good, her lie—she knew it wouldn’t.

Why does he want this so badly?

It didn’t make sense. For a man who’d tried to pay her to leave his apartment as fast as she could, why would he want...access to her? Her daughter? Maybe if she talked to him more, assured him she didn’t want anything from him, maybe he’d leave them alone. That’s probably all it was.

P: Where do you want to meet?

Three dots immediately appeared at the bottom of the message thread, signifying that he’d read the message, and was responding.

T: Tonight. Iliad. Bring Amelia.

Patty couldn’t help but roll her eyes. Figures he’d want to meet at one of the most overpriced— overbooked —restaurants in the city. And knowing his name meant that he would most definitely be getting a table.

No way in hell am I bringing Amelia.

A knock came at the apartment door, and Patricia pet out a quiet shriek before clapping a hand to her chest to calm her rapidly beating heart. She jumped away from the door, and faced it, shaking. Another knock sounded, and she jumped again, before creeping forward to peer through the keyhole.

It’s just UPS. She breathed a sigh of relief before opening the door.

“Good morning, I’ve got something for Patricia Hodgins?”

“That’s me.”

She signed the electronic machine, and took the soft parcel from the delivery man. She didn’t particularly remember ordering anything, but it wouldn’t be the first time she’d forgotten. She closed the door gingerly behind herself once again, and frowned down at the package. It looked legitimate, and she squished it in her hands just to make sure it wasn’t anything nefarious. It just feels like… clothes.

Patricia tore open the packaging, holding up the swath of cloth as she tried to make sense of it. She definitely hadn’t ordered any clothes recently—not with their moving costs.

“That dress pretty , mommy.” She looked up to see Amelia poking her little head out of the living room, nodding appreciatively. Her face heated. It was pretty—a little, silky black slip that went underneath a shimmering, gold tulle cocktail dress with a high neck, flowing sleeves, and a plunging back. There was still a price tag, and she swallowed thickly upon seeing the dollar amount printed there.

“Two thousand dollars?” She breathed, suddenly wanting more than anything to wrap the dress back up and send it back where it came from, which was undoubtedly Thor. Her phone buzzed.

T: Did you get my present?

Patricia gritted her teeth. She wanted to call him, and scream through the reciever that she wouldn’t be wearing anything he bought her; wanted to take Amelia and just run —but she knew it wouldn’t do much good. He had infinite resources at his disposal, and she was a single mother with a three year old. I probably wouldn’t even make it to Florida, let alone out of the country. But maybe he’d be more agreeable if she accepted his gift.

Their last attempt at a civil conversation had gone poorly, though Patty refused any responsibility for it. What was he expecting, cornering her outside of her daughter’s daycare? She held the dress up to the light, the pearlescent beading shining in the light.

P: Why did you buy me this? Patty knew her indignation came through in text, and didn’t try to soften the blow.

T: I thought it would look nice on you.

Patricia hated the warm pleasure that spread through her at the admission that he’d thought of her. What the fuck is wrong with me?

P: What time are we meeting?

T: Eight. Be on time.

—

The dress looked even better on. She wasn’t sure if he’d correctly guessed her sizing, or if he’d had someone sneak into the house to steal some of her clothing for reference, but it fit. It was almost too snug on her hips, and had taken just a little wiggling to get past them. If this was four years ago, I could have just slid into this getup with no problem. She was still attempting to wrestle her kinky hair into submission when the doorbell rang—her babysitter.

“Hi, Marissa. Come on on, thanks for being able to watch Amelia so short notice,” She replied gratefully, ushering the younger girl inside. She was one of the teaching assistants at the daycare, and one of the other parents had recommended her.

“Hi, Miss Hodgins. Hey Amelia!” Amelia squealed loudly with excitement as Marissa waved at her, and didn’t waste any time dragging her toward her bedroom to show off her many toys.

It would take at least forty five minutes to get into Manhattan by train, and though she wasn’t particularly concerned about Thor’s “be on time” order, she knew it probably wasn’t wise to keep him waiting too long. I guess I could take a cab… She wasn’t sure how she felt navigating the subway in this getup either.

When she was finally finished getting dressed, she stopped briefly to observe herself in the hallway mirror, her lips creasing with displeasure. Patricia barely recognized herself. She couldn’t remember the last time she wore something that wasn’t leggings or business casual. She preened for a moment, before shaking her head. No. This was just for tonight. She was only going to tell him in no uncertain terms that she wanted no part of him—that they wanted no part of him; dress be damned.

Her taxi was waiting outside by the time Patricia made it down the stairs, and she rushed into it. Luckily for her, the traffic wasn’t as horrible as she anticipated, and she arrived right on time. Thor was outside the venue, waiting. Just like the first time she’d seen him, his clothing was impeccable, expertly tailored slacks, and a white silk shirt. His hair had gotten longer, too, and the beginnings of salt were just starting to make themselves apparent in his beard. She wasn’t sure what to say, or how to greet him—it wasn’t like she was exactly pleased to see him.

“Hi.” She stood awkwardly in front of him, her fingers still playing nervously with the hem of her dress.

“You look...fantastic.” He took his time appraising her, and he circled her, grinning before the smile fell from his handsome features. “Where’s Amelia?”

“I left her at home,” Patricia replied curtly. “I didn’t think it was… appropriate to bring her.” She let the words hang in the air between them, taking a perverse amount of pleasure at the displeased curl of his lip.

“I told you to bring her.” His voice was low, menacing.

“And I told you that I left her at home with the babysitter. Can we go inside now?” Patricia snapped impatiently, shifting away from him. Thor followed her movement, snaking an arm around her hips to pull her close. His fingers ghosted across the exposed skin of her back, drawing goosebumps to the surface of her skin.

“Let’s find our table, then.” He didn’t allow her to trail after him as they entered, holding her closely. She wasn’t sure if this was meant to be a punishment or not, but it certainly felt like one as he paraded her past curious onlookers in the foyer. It was clear that people knew who he was—the disdain with which they regarded Patrica made that perfectly clear. I didn’t ask to be here. People parted for them easily, moving aside for Thor Odinson and his date as they moved toward the maitre’d.

“Odinson. Table for two.” He spoke authoritatively, speaking to the host as though he were barely there. Everything about him screamed wealth and privilege, and Patty doubted he’d ever been denied a single thing in his entire life. His hand was still warm—almost hot—on her hip, and he directed her easily toward their table. The host departed, promising their server would be by soon with drink menus, leaving the two of them alone.

Thor’s eyes seemed to bore into her, and Patricia had to force herself to stare back, instead of looking down at the floor. Her knees were trembling, and her palms were sweaty as she twisted the tablecloth with nervous fingers. Thor for his part seemed completely cool, folding his hands together as he watched her.

“You want to get a bottle of wine? Since you didn’t bring Amelia.” A grin spread across his face. “Red? White?”

“I—white. Thor, you didn’t need to buy me a dress.” She replied, attempting to cut to the chase. He didn’t look up from the menu, answering her with a shrug. “Thor.” She slapped her hand against the table to get his attention, and he sighed, snapping the menu shut before he put it down.

“Fine. I didn’t need to buy you a dress, Patricia. I wanted to. I wanted to do something nice for you. Is that so hard to believe?”

“Yes?” She laughed as she said it. “You’re an asshole.” It slipped out before she could hold it in. “You came to my house. ” Her hands balled themselves into fists on the table. “Not just the house—you… I had to meet with the director after that scene you made.” Patricia said, her cheeks heating at the memory. It had been horrifically embarrassing; the older woman calling her into the back office.

“Is this going to be a problem?” She’d asked, pushing her thin rimmed glasses up her nose as she frowned at Patty. “I’m not judging your situation,” She continued, though Patricia knew with absolute certainty that she was—“But we can’t have parents arguing in front of the entrance. It’s not good for the children.”

In other words, Patricia thought angrily, Mrs. Pfeltzer thinks I’m trash.

“If you’d told me you were pregnant, we might have avoided this.” He blinked at her, as though he saw no error in his own actions. I know I’m not the only one he used and discarded. It was as though he saw the snide thought cross her mind, and he scowled at her, rolling his eyes. “Oh what? You were a consenting adult.”

“I was a drunk college kid who is at least six years your junior, I’m guessing.” Patricia crossed her arms incredulously—Thor showed no remorse. He simply sighed, and picked back up the drink menu as the server approached. The tension between them had to be palpable, and the young man swallowed nervously before speaking.

“C-can I get you anything to drink before you order this evening?” He asked, clearing his throat. “Ma’am?”

“Vodka sour, please.” Patricia fired off. If she was going to have to put up with his pompous behavior all night, she should at least have the privilege of being plastered for it. He raised a brow at her selection.

“We’ll have a bottle of the La Scolca. Black label.”

“Excellent. I’ll be right back.” He practically fled the table, looking back nervously.

“Are you done playing the victim?” He drawled, cocking his head at her. Patricia felt old, hot anger flare up in her gut—but the years had dulled her temper, and heightened her patience. She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. Arguing with him about this wasn’t going to solve anything, and it was only wasting time. She had to convince him that he didn’t need a paternity test— that was her goal. This was just an old grudge—no matter how justified.

“I just want to clear this up.” Patricia began, and Thor inclined his head, raising an eyebrow as if to tell her he was listening. “Look. That’s… we can talk about that another time. I know you wanted to talk about Amelia, so let’s talk about Amelia.”

He perked up like a golden retriever at the mention of a walk. “Yes. Let’s.”

“I guess I understand your...concern. I don’t want your money, Thor.” She gestured around at the restaurant. “I don’t want any of this. You don’t have to be worried I’m going to try and spring a court case on you for half your salary. We don’t need it.”

The corners of his mouth curved up into that ever-irritating smirk as he stroked his beard. Patricia swallowed nervously. What did I say?

“So she is mine.”

Patricia sputtered. “I didn’t—No, I didn’t say—” She’d said no such thing! But somehow he’d warped her words, twisted them into an affirmation. He leaned across the table, cupping her hands with deceptive gentleness, stroking the backs of her palms with his thumbs, drawing small circles on them.

“Patricia.”

“Amelia’s father is dead.” She repeated, shaking her head in denial, though Thor looked anything but convinced. “He was in a car accident right after I got pregnant.” Patty recited it like she had in the mirror, but he regarded her blankly.

“There’s no father listed on her birth certificate.” He reached up to cup her chin. “I would think very carefully about the next lie you tell.” His voice was gentle, but the threat in it was clear. “Who is Amelia’s father, Patricia?”Her lip trembled as she fought back hot, angry tears. She tried to turn her head away but his grip tightened, forcing her to meet his gaze. He remained relaxed, his neutral expression almost affectionate. To any onlooker, it seemed a lover’s embrace.

“How do you—”

“Patricia. I know she’s mine. Whether on paper or not, I know. I can see it.” He released her. “If you want to take this to court, I assure you I’ll win.” The waiter returned with their drinks, and Patricia was unable to acknowledge his presence, her mind still turning over his threat. Thor accepted the drinks in her stead. “Thank you. We’ll have the tasting menu for two.” His tone was dismissive, and the young man took the hint. He turned back to her, his expression unreadable.

“You kept my daughter from me.” He said, removing the bottle from the ice bath bucket it was in. He poured two glasses, and gave one to her which she didn’t touch. “She’s mine , Patricia.” His voice took on a possessive quality. “I want to see her, spend time with her.” That, she wasn’t quite buying.

“More like punish me for keeping you from hurting her all this time.” Patricia muttered. Thor let out a deep, sarcastic laugh.

“Hurt her?”

“Oh come on . Look at you.” She gestured at him. “If I’d told you, you probably would have tried to convince me to have an abortion.” She snapped. “And I didn’t… I wanted her.” He didn’t even have the decency to appear shocked at her accusation, and after a moment he nodded.

“I would have.” He admitted it easily, shrugging. Of course he would have. He was the successful son of one of the richest families in the world. If he’d wanted kids, he wouldn’t have picked a barely out of college nobody to have them with , Patricia thought somewhat bitterly. “I would have paid you, probably.” The way he said it made it seem like it wasn’t the first time he’d had such a slip-up.

“Then why all this?” She asked. “Why does it even matter?”

“Because you kept my daughter from me for three years. So I want three years with her.” The color drained from Patty’s face and her mouth pressed itself into a thin line as he spoke. “Calm down, Patricia, I don’t mean to take her from you. That would be monstrous. ” Though he spoke sarcastically, there was honesty there as well. “You’re going to move in with me.” He delivered the order with authority, as though daring her to question it.

He’s treating me like I’m still in fucking school. Unbelievable. Even after three years, he’d gone right back into talking to her like she was nothing more than a child to him. Nevermind the fact that he’d eagerly slid between her legs when it was convenient for him.

“I don’t think so.” Patricia replied, crossing her arms. The server returned a third time, setting the plates in front of them.

“This is a roasted brussel sprout salad—”

“We are not moving in with you.” Patricia spat, ignoring him. She felt a little bad when he snapped his mouth shut and scurried off, and Thor chuckled amusedly.

“No? Then I go through with the court order, get my paternity test—and we both know what the results of that will be—and then I’ll get custody.” He speared a brussel sprout with his fork before popping it into his mouth and savoring it. “I could have her by next month, Patty.”

Her mouth went dry. Was he serious? Could she afford to test him and find out? Even with her parents behind her, they might never be able to get good enough lawyers to get her back if he went through with his cheerfully delivered promise. God, was he so petty? Just because she’d told him no?

But… She didn’t want to lose her daughter.

“What about weekends? You could take her every other—”

“Now you want to bargain? What happened to that conviction?” He taunted. As he did so, he slid his hand across the table to squeeze hers. “I’m not interested in part time.” He replied, taking another bite.

“This is unreasonable. It’s disruptive for her, we just moved—”

“Then she isn’t settled in yet.” He said decisively. “Patricia don’t make this harder.”

She sighed, defeated. “Fine.”

Having gotten his way, the dark cloud hovering over his features seemed to lift and he beamed at her. “See? Was that so hard?”

“No.” And yes. “I… I don’t want you to hurt her, Thor.” Patricia repeated, meeting his gaze as earnestly as she could. “I don’t want you to come into her life and then get bored with her. She’s a person. And she doesn’t deserve to get treated….” She trailed off. Like you treated me.

“You’re worrying over nothing.”

She frowned. She doubted this man had willingly been in the presence of a child for longer than ten full minutes. Finally, she took a bite of her food, her eyebrows lifting with surprise. “Oh.”

“Good?” He asked, smiling at her. “It’s their autumn tasting menu. The chef’s a good friend of mine, always does a good job.” He took another sip of wine from his glass, and Patricia started on her vodka—she hadn’t even had time to drink it yet, and it already felt like so much had happened.

“Yes, it’s delicious.”

Next came beef carpaccio with oyster aioli and rye crisps, and then cider steamed mussels with crusty, grilled slices of sourdough bread—and by then, Patricia was practically bursting at the seams.

“What did you do in Long Island for three years?” He asked, and she sighed.

“I worked part time. Spent a lot of time with Amelia. She’s already starting to read, you know. She’s very good.” Patricia couldn’t help the proud smile that made its way onto her face. “She loves animals, but she’s not the most gentle kid, so we’re waiting on that.” Strangely, a jealous look flashed across his features as she spoke, and Patricia wondered what they could possibly have that he didn’t already own. How could he possibly envy me?

“I see. Well my apartment is no pets allowed, so she’ll have to wait a little longer.”

Next came miso broiled cod, and then Patty was tapping out. “I can’t eat another bite.” She complained, leaning back in her seat. “I can’t handle all this rich food. How do you people live like this?”

“Good home training, for one,” He chuckled, and his eyes sparkled with amusement at her ire when she glared at him.

“They didn’t train you to wear condoms?” She snapped, and he rolled his eyes.

“Back to this, are we?”

“Sorry. It slipped out.” She admitted, hiccoughing. They’d worked their way through the entire bottle of wine, and the animosity that Patricia had been feeling toward Thor had ebbed some. If they were going to be co-parenting, it would probably be for the best if Amelia didn’t see them at each other’s throats all the time.

“I don’t want to fight like this in front of Amelia.” He replied, mirroring her thoughts.

“No, no. You’re right.” Patricia sniffed.

“Good. I’ll call movers in the morning.” She wondered on a scale of one to ten how angry Wanda was going to be when she broke lease and moved in with her… baby daddy.

Ugh.

“I was thinking,” Thor said, running his tongue across his lips. “Maybe you’d like to come back and see the apartment. Pick out Amelia’s room.” The grin on his face was anything but parental as he appraised her. Patricia wasn’t stupid—she knew a pick-up when she heard one. Suddenly, doubt crept in. What if she refused him, and he took Amelia anyway? He hadn’t made that threat yet, but… would she risk that?

“Okay.”

Next Chapter

#Dark!Thor x OFC #Dark!Thor Smut #Dark Thor #Dark!Thor x Reader #Dark Thor x Reader #Thor x OFc #Thor X Black OFC #Dark!Thor #Thor Odinson #Pattycakes fic #Boxofbonesfic #Fluff #Smut #Romance #drama #Black OFC #Black reader

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lokislytherin · 2 years

Text

picrew

look ik there’s other stuff i should be doing but i just stumbled upon duckyora’s picrew (link in text) again and hhh. imagination going nuts so have some picrews

1. sammy brisko (sonny brisko but female)

waifu i’m sorry i mean waifu? i mean mommy? excuse me i meant waifu? i mean-

i’m just a sucker for this picrew

2. bloody brisko

we had ponytail sonny in today’s stream:

and i couldn’t resist making ponytail sonny with blood spatters. you know i’m a sucker for blood spatters and boys with long hair, let’s not look at how sonny and sammy have the same outfit + facial features + bangs + hair if you take away the pigtails/ponytail

tbh i should’ve changed the eyes to smth a little more feminine for sammy and changed the kimono for sonny but you know what. it’s my picrew i do what i want! also i think it fits

3. maid sonny

i have no regrets. maid sonny art from touhou luna nights thumbjail was iconic like how do u look so badass in a maid dress?? tskr artist-san for that

also i just realized you can do neckmole but i’m too lazy to change oop so he looks more natural in this! i put neckmole on and i was like ah. this is the true sonny brisko (not maid sonny, just neckmole!!)

4. lunar dusko?

if you’re not already aware lunar dusko is fanmade ‘dark’ version of sonny brisko! you know how our sonnyshine is yellow and bright? well lunar dusko (aka moony) is Darkness his hair is meant to be purple but only blue was available also i’m not sure what he looks like actually LOL

i tried my best! yes he has half a billion ear piercings LMAO

5. yugo asuma?? but sussy??

there weren’t any headphones HE LOOKS SUS

like this is cute but i don’t think this is yugo. tbf bloody brisko doesn’t vibe like sonny either but maybe it’s the hair I’M SORRY THIS JUST DOESN’T VIBE LIKE YUGO TO ME

definitely got the ‘gender whomst’ part down tho

6. me!

or at least my preferred perception of myself bc god i wish i could keep bangs like that, bangs haven’t worked for me since i was eight and it’s been ten years also the hairs at the side in front of my ears are not as neat although goddamn i wish they were

also i’m a little tanner than that

7. oc celosia brandt!

the next few are all gonna be ocs from the same universe

celosia got genetically experimented on as a kid so she’s got the ability to control fire now. also the demon eyes + fangs represent how sometimes she loses control and goes so feral she literally becomes another person? came up with her quite a few years ago and i think she’s neat

like all of my oc main characters, she was meant to be based off my own personality but halfway through she deviated so much i didn’t recognize her anymore she’s kinda hyper now i think it’s the fire -> increased heat -> increased kinetic energy -> bouncing off the walls bc it feels like caffeine to her

i think i’ve thrown these ocs out somewhere? like shared them? but i can’t remember if it’s here or wp LMAOOO

8. oc sage carson

their personality is based off my friend (prankster, smug, sleep deprived and hiding the depression) and originally they were meant to be female but halfway through the entire concept of gender just kinda disappeared

they control metal, they’re the runaway biological bastard child of the dude who did all the genetic experimentation on the kids

they and cel become bffs later although they’re not the best of friends at first they’re chaotic besties / chaos creator + enabler now

9. oc lumi gillan

based off another friend of mine! i have her backstory and aesthetic but her personality rn is just “sheltered rich girl, lives in the mountains away from reality” i’m so sorry

if i remember correctly she has ice powers? but she can also have visions and see parts of the future and stuff? after fleshing her out a bit more i’m gonna give her a helluva character arc (but that’s only if i ever get to fleshing her out LOL)

10. oc alena willow

once again, based off an irl friend! kinda? i lost alena’s personality halfway through but she controls earth/plants? idk if she controls the soil, the plants, or the soil by controlling the plant roots

i know for a fact that she’s obsessed with social media and her phone she’s kinda like typical teen caricatures but. my irl friend used to do tiktoks and stuff she tried to drag me in once and i was like NYOOO NEVERRRRR and now i learned to dance on my own for fun. bwl, hip, dingga, dynamite, dumdi dumdi, thunderous, mafia in the morning and now wadada + tomboy go brr

if anyone notices all the identical chokers... it’s a mark of their genetic modification when they were kids ehehe it’s like a tracker or smth

11. oc saffi

saffi my beloved! she got the pointy ears coz she a goddess! she’s a knowledge goddess hence the lil caterpillar (coz bookworm ehehe)

before i thought she’d have children like with greek gods and stuff but she vibes a little too ace for that? maybe i’m projecting? personally i think she’s very pretty and nice and she blesses children with wrinkly brains

originally she was meant to be in the same verse as the trio above but now that i changed the verse a little i’m not sure where she fits in now OOF but i do like her a lot? she vibes a little like a lesbian to me too (haha, saffi -> sappho -> sapphic) which might be affecting that HAHA

now that you’ve seen my four Big OC Girls, will it surprise you to find out that they came from an au that me and my friends created when we were like 11 and obsessed with animal jam? saffi was actually based off lisa the panda, cel came from my in-game bunny (red + dark red fire patterns, fox hat, phantom claws, overall kinda badass i think)... i always ask my friend (sage) if our animal jam bunny identity characters were our fursonas and she always tells me NO. NOT TODAY, SATAN.

12. assassineko

she doesn’t have a name or a story i just know she kills people and she has heterophobia in her eyes

like sure she’s a catgirl but she’s a girlboss and she’ll kick your ass in half a second flat i think she was completely random / self indulgence when i created her sorry im just a helpless bi

if you came here for the sonny brisko and yugo asuma and found a whole bunch of ocs I’M SO SORRY LMAO you got sonny baitko-ed

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miggydiaz · 4 years

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For the salty ask 1, 4, 5, 6, 9, 10, 14, 16, 20, 22, 23 and 26 for cobra kai pretty please

My answers are so long, so I am putting this under the cut @wonderwolfballoon! Also I just noticed your Daniel icon I SWEAR I’M NOT DRAGGING HIM TO BE MEAN!!!

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?* My biggest IDGI ships for CK are probably Elimetri or Kiaz. I’m not here to yuck other people’s yums or anything, but I do think there is something to the idea that Migueli isn’t popular because it’s a ship predicated on mutual respect for one another. Kiaz has the obvious enemies to lovers vibe and I just generally don’t sail those ships. Elimetri has... its problems, IMO, most especially around the idea that Demetri has to like... save Hawk from himself? Idk. I just like romances that I feel are based on love and mutual respect and not ...tropes.   I am also not a Lawrusso shipper although I have a lot of those on my dash and you all are great! Again, not yucking yums! Daniel just makes me want to head butt him too much to pair him romantically with anyone 😂 I don’t even want his wife with him. He needs to self reflect~   4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?*   I once saw someone ship Amanda and Anoush and I noped out of that so fucking fast I almost tripped over myself. I’m not sure if they’re popular. I just think some people feel the need to get Amanda out of the way to sail their ship and stuck her with Anoush which... no. Just no. Let Amanda be a messy single queen with a martini hobby, thanks!   5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?*   Not in CK. I’m lucky because I pretty much stick to my little Migueli bubble and I’m okay with that? Lmao lord knows the Squad on my dash is all about the DISCOURSE™️ so idk if I just don’t feel the need to get sucked into the wider ship wars because we have good healthy debates, but so far, so good.   6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?*   I never hated it... I just didn’t have many feelings on shipping with this show in general at first. Then I was in the CK tag one day and I saw Migueli fan art. Then I discovered @afurioushawk‘s falconry series and it was all over for me after that! So fandom DID make me love a ship, just not one I hated.

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why? Oh boy. How much time do you have? In some instances, it’s a good thing season 3 happened because otherwise, this would be a multi-page essay on the problems with race and class privilege as it pertains to Sam LaRusso and just some... generally not nice comments about Demetri that I’m conflicted about because I’m not sure if the writers are intentionally trying to write him a specific way and it’s just not translating to me or what. But season 3 revamped both of their images with me a lot. I’m way more flexible in terms of Demetri, but lmao I was the number one Sam LaRusso hater for a minute there (or maybe number 2, I can think of at least 1 other person who was in that boat with me back in like... August/September, but I won’t call them out because I don’t want them to get hate...) However, I have grown a bit in my opinions of Sam, and even though I still think she’s responsible for a lot of shit she NEVER gets held accountable for, I also think that’s a reflection of the adults around her too, and this includes my otherwise unproblematic queen, Amanda.

But honestly, my most hated character (other than the obvious villain that is Kreese) is Daniel. No matter how handsome Ralph Macchio looks in cable-knits, because Daniel has always been a sanctimonious, shit starting drama king and I say that about KK Daniel too. I’m not saying Daniel was the ~true villain~ or anything, or that Johnny was innocent -- I can only drink so much Red and Yellow Kool-Aid -- but Daniel’s always been annoying to me as a protagonist, and turning him into a smarmy wealthy car salesman who is also a class traitor did not do him any favors in my book. I will say, I also like Daniel more in season 3 than I have in previous season, but since he is the adult, I will be mad at him longer than I will be at the kids, ya feel?

10. Most disliked arc? Why?   Johnny’s entire season 3 storyline. The sheer level of REGRESSION at every turn drives me bonkers. It’s like watching him go through all of the stumbling blocks of season 1 all over again, but without the “he’s learning! He’s going to make mistakes!” free pass that I was willing to give him the first time around. He regularly jeopardizes Miguel’s recovery and it’s played for laughs. He fucks up on every level with Robby. He spends most of his time running away when things get hard or too real. He drops the ball completely with Hawk, and like, not to put too fine a point on it, but a lot of Hawk’s issues are because Johnny put Hawk on this ‘flip the script and be a badass’ path and then offered him no guidance for how to walk that path and instead left him in the hands of Kreese. And then he has the nerve to go to Hawk and basically be like “I made you what you are!” lmao yeah Johnny, you sure did, that’s why he’s breaking peoples arms, hoss. And then all of the nonsense with Ali and Carmen, like... if you were planning on teasing KK fans with Ali and him getting back together, why write her as married in the first place? Why even tease the idea of Carmen and Johnny until after you were sure what you were going to do with Ali as a character? Instead, they do what they did in season 3 and it makes him look like a colossal jerk. So yeah. Literally every choice they made with Johnny this season, I hated.

14. Unpopular opinion about your fandom? People who hate Tory are not valid, sorry not sorry.

16. If you could change anything in the show, what would you change? I would have kept Miguel entirely out of Tory and Sam’s beef. Or at least not directly inserted him into it like he was with the kiss. I know the writers thought it was necessary to push Tory to the point of inciting a fight at school, but I am just so exhausted over girls being unable to fight about anything but boys. Also I would bring Aisha back.

20. What is the purest ship in the fandom?   I am probably biased, but I still maintain it’s Migueli. Look, Miguel stood up to Kyler for Eli and Demetri both. Hawk joined CK because he saw what it could do for some skinny nerd who was getting his ass kicked. And he took to CK, really took to it! Even flourished before he started getting mixed messages. And he and Miguel were pretty much inseparable after that. They coordinated their wardrobes ffs. Hawk dubbed him El Serpiente and no one else calls him that — it’s Hawk’s nickname for him. Miguel confides in Hawk only secondary to Johnny, who is like a father to him. The entire Coyote Creek exchange shows they can fight and disagree but... well, to use the cliche, they don’t go to bed angry, you know? They’re square the very next day. Hawk is the first person at Miguel’s side when he gets kicked over the balcony and the LOOK he gives the second floor where Robby is? That boy is out for blood immediately to avenge Miguel. So much of his s3 behavior is fueled by that need for vengeance because MD is wholly responsible for what happened to Miguel. And Miguel is so confused and betrayed by Hawk’s shift in behavior, and yet still holds out hope that Hawk will see through Kreese’s BS and come with him to The Dojo I Refuse to Name. And when Hawk does make that deflection finally, he shows up at MD with Miguel. There’s so much more that I know I’m missing but whether someone ships them or not, that is a tried and true love and respect for one another, a willingness to fight for and defend one another that you don’t often see in TV friendships... or even in most tv relationships. And I just think that’s the best ❤️

22. Popular character you hate?   Daniel, hands down. I mean... I don’t even necessarily hate Daniel, you know? I just think it’s really, pardon the pun, rich that a guy of immense wealth and privilege can’t get a therapist or turn to his far too patient wife for help with his existential crisis over his high school bully opening up a karate dojo to make some money and help a kid who is getting the crap kicked out of him. I get that Daniel’s narrative is necessary for the rivalry, but it does nothing to make him sympathetic as a character.

23. Unpopular character you love?   Tory, definitely! Everyone hates her and then there’s me and the Squad over here banging away on our Coors Banquet cans yelling TORY RIGHTS! Seriously she catches so much flack for a teenage girl who is... the sole income provider for her family? At 17? While caring for a sick mom and a little brother? And fending off a creepy landlord? Tory has it so rough and then she meets a cool girl at her dojo who asks her to hang out at some fancy ass country club which is probably the nicest place Tory has ever been in, and then she gets talked down to and accused of being a thief and has another girl lay hands on her, only to find out that same girl is her new boyfriend’s ex and... ugh. I HATE that Tory gets shit all over when Tory and Sam wouldn’t even have beef if Sam had apologized to Tory as she SHOULD have. Tory isn’t innocent, but damn, I’d be pressed too.   My other unpopular character I love? Nathaniel. Seriously that kid is THE best. He’s a literal child but is out there like I WILL FUCK YOU UP, even though he’s MD. Honestly, his Cobra Kai energy is so ferocious I won’t be surprised if he moves back to CK eventually. Anyway, I love him. 

26. Most shippable character?   Miguel, hands down. It’s because he’s so affable and sweet overall. And because his hair is so fluffy and pettable that no one can resist touching it. I like to imagine that one day he and Hawk are talking about their hair and Hawk makes a joke about how Miguel’s mane is getting so long that it’s going to be bigger than his own, and then he reaches out to ruffle it and internally has a bisexual meltdown because oh no IT’S SO SOFT AND NICE. But uh... anyway, yes. Definitely Miguel.

#ask game #cobra kai #sorry y’all I gotta tag #uh #anti Daniel larusso #anti lawrusso #anti Kiaz #anti Elimetri #it’s not *really* anti those ships but uh... tagging for the culture???#plz don’t flame ship who you ship!!!#Migueli #i hope this is tagged appropriately if you need something else tagged lmk

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idontwanttospoiltheparty · 3 years

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Ive never really understood the hype surrounding Taylor Swift - I mean, I like some of her songs, but im not big on modern pop music so generally she just doesn’t really click for me. But I find it interesting that theres quite a few of Beatles/Swift blogs - like, they should have very little in common given that they’re from completely different eras and all, but somehow people seem to find a lot of semblance between the two. << and thats not me shitting on any of these blogs btw! Hope I don’t come off as rude or condescending there <3

Anyway, I was just wondering what got you into Taylor Swift? (I think ive read your post on how you got into the Beatles)

Hi, anon! Don't worry, I don't think you're rude or condescending! I agree they don't have too much in common and I don't really like their music for the same reasons.* I do have a playlist of Paul songs that have similar vibes to Taylor songs but it's mostly lyric-based. (Also the Beatles For Sale songs actually have quite the Taylor-tinge because Paul and John were not immune to Country Music)

I saw @stewy say once that a possible reason there are a good handful of us Swiftie-Beatle People on here is the appeal of a vast discography, which I agree with. If you have an artist/group with 200ish songs, it's just really fun to really dive into their work and explore all the facets. I also think: we're talking about the most popular band of all time and one of the highest-selling artists of the 21st century. They have a lot of fans so there's bound to be overlap, regardless of musical differences.

Moving on to your question: Getting into Taylor was an extremely personal experience for me and so my explanation is probably going to be kind of long so I'll put it under a read more.

It was spring-summer 2014, I was 15. I had heard the more popular songs of hers starting with Love Story and enjoyed pretty much all of them (I always found her hopelessly romantic point of view fascinating) but before I got a Spotify account in 2013 it was difficult in general for me to really get into an artists' entire discography so most of her songs had flown under my radar.

At the time, I was in this very weird sort of codependent online friendship with this girl who was basically my first real best friend and my first more or less crush. She was very depressed and I was very much in an I Could Fix Her™ mood, except that I obviously couldn't fix her and it made me feel like I wasn't enough and she had begun pulling more and more away from me and not replying to my messages and it was simply driving me insane. I consider it the saddest period in my life.

at some point during this period, I started trying to connect with other people (all online, I didn't know how to talk seriously to anyone IRL) and explaining the issues I'd been having, and one of the people who brought me joy and whom I actually felt not drained talking to was a huge swiftie. And IDK the fact that she loved Taylor and the fact that talking to her made my life better (and also the fact that I liked all the Taylor songs I knew at that point) just made me decide to give her a listen. And I think that whole "large discography discovery" phenomenon really helped me at the time (funny, because her discography has doubled since then). It gave me something new to focus on; there were just so many songs to discover, all telling such rich stories. I also have always loved bridges, they are almost always my favourite part of a song. And Taylor, god-bless her, loves them too and always puts her ALL in them. Like pretty much every bridge of hers brings the song to the next level, and even a lot of her songs I don't adore tend to have great bridges (Stay Stay Stay and Paper Rings come to mind). I think one of her most underrated qualities is how good she is at song structure and really building up an entire musical journey with a song. She also almost always adds cool ad-libs in her second and third choruses to keep the songs interesting and dynamic (or at least since she's gone pop). Anyways, back to the story: Then Taylor announced 1989 as her next album and released Shake It Off, and it was just like this great happy thing for me to look forward to, when I had very little keeping me going. The era was promoting a lot of happiness which in hindsight was slightly fabricated and it was just a really great thing for me to latch onto.

At the same time I was coming to realize that I was gonna have to pull away completely from my friend and all those break-up songs just… Hit, y'know? Like, some people seem to think Taylor's a one-trick pony because she likes to write break-up songs but to me, break-ups are just like this moment where you as a human can potentially feel every single emotion, and Taylor's songs have covered every facet of the concept. Here are some songs I remember from that period, that all meant a lot to me at the time because they explained my own pain to me so well:

Haunted, for the absolute terror you feel in the first moments you realize someone is probably gonna leave you. Come on, come on / Don't leave me like this / I thought I had you figured out / Something's gone terribly wrong / You're all I wanted.

I Almost Do, for the inner turmoil you feel when you know you have to stay away from someone for your own good but you really, really have to resist just running back to that person. We've made quite a mess, Babe / It's probably better off this way / And I confess, Babe / In my dreams you're touching my face / And asking me if I wanna try again / With you / And I almost do.

Last Kiss, for that absolute sadness that comes simply with remembering everything that was good and not comprehending how it could've possibly ended. I still remember / The look on your face / Lit through the darkness / At 1:58 / Words that you whispered / For just us to know / You told me you loved me / So why did you go / Away?

Forever and Always, for that feeling of desperately wanting to hold on to what you still have but at the same time realizing it probably isn't going to last and having no idea how to fix it, plus feeling like the other person doesn't even care. So here's to everything / Coming down to nothing / Here's to silence / That cuts me to the core / Where is this going? / Thought I knew for a minute / But I don't anymore.

Dear John, my all-time favourite song, for that moment you find clarity and realize that you deserved better and that you were headed in an extremely dark direction because of this other person. [DISCLAIMER: my friend did NOT abuse me nor did we have some inappropriate age difference. But the way she would ignore me and her general moodiness really affected my own mental health and self-worth problems] You paint me a blue sky / And go back and turn it to rain / And I lived in your chess games / But you changed the rules every day / Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone / Tonight / Well I stopped picking up / And this song is to let you know why.

(She's covered more aspects of break-ups in other songs [cheating, divorce, feeling awkward around your ex amongst others], these are just the ones I remember being really important to me when I was first getting into her)

She really helped me feel a lot less alone during one of my loneliest periods and I really can't thank her enough for that. Soon after this, I started crushing on a girl in my class and Taylor's love songs started to take on a new meaning for me as well.

What's crazy to me is, when she went on hiatus for a few years, a part of me thought maybe I'd grown out of her and no longer had much in common with her, but when reputation came out I was pulled right back into my love for her as a person and musician and then when Lover came out I found that she was still explaining feelings to me better than I ever could (specifically with the songs The Archer and Cornelia Street). And now with folklore and evermore she's simply absolutely perfected her story-telling and I find myself deeply moved even by the songs I don't directly relate to. I feel like she has this amazing ability to find the absolute truth in the specific. I've never had a summer romance with someone who already had a girlfriend and mostly wanted to go back to her, and yet the bridge of august feels so real to me, y'know?

Back when we were still changin' for the better Wanting was enough For me, it was enough To live for the hope of it all Cancel plans just in case you'd call And say, "Meet me behind the mall" So much for summer love and saying "us" 'Cause you weren't mine to lose

It's hard to explain but looking at this, like it's so much more than the story it's telling. It's talking about how when you're young you really need so little to feel satisfied; how sometimes the idea of someone maybe spending time with you is better than actually doing things with other people; and how if someone using you without much thought can make you feel like you're not even entitled to grieve what you lost. Sorry. I'll stop. Don't want to go insane.

So, all of this is very personal and unique to me, but I think really the main thing that draws me to her is how vulnerable and honest she is about emotions, how eloquently she can explain the pain of being alive to me. Some people think she isn't the strongest singer, but I think, much like John actually, one of her greatest assets is how good she is at projecting emotion. The song happiness is a song I think has some lyrically weak moments but her vocal performance on it is so raw and devastating that every single line works even when, looking at it on paper, it feels like it shouldn't.

Hope this rambling made sense to you, lmao?? I love talking about Taylor though so thanks for the ask! Also very open to giving song recs if you do want to check her out more but I won't unless solicited to lmao *Sort of off-topic but I do think there's a relation between my fascination with the Beatles' history and my love for a great break-up song. I like pain I guess :)

#ask #anon #taylor #mine

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ayzrules · 4 years

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10 Signs That You’re in an Ayz Novel/Project/Writing Collab/Rp/~Thing~

tagged by @homesteadchronicles <3! tysm for tagging me - i love these things!!!

1. SILK & STEEL MOTIFS - [ mai, rowena, camila (ish), all of proper young killing machines! ] ever since i was 14-15 and obsessing over book!sansa / book!margaery, and only enhanced by my gail carriger phase. maybe it has to do with the fact that i’m too lazy to ever get into a physical fight myself? LMAO but i love writing snakey political girls who don’t really do ~fighty~ stuff but absolutely are plotting something and will manipulate/backstab their way to getting it. and ofc they hide all of that behind perfect manners & designer gowns & high heels ;D. normally about working with the system & bending it to their advantage for w/e reason (revenge is pretty common lol), not necessarily destroying the system & making something new/better. which segues into:

2. ICE QUEEN TROPES - [ izzy, mari, yinmei ] i first started writing these girls as a direct foil to #1; i would say characters in both of these categories are just as ruthless as each other, but #2 are more obvious/overt about it and v v v blunt. instead of working with & manipulating the system, these girls tend to be the type to just break it apart with a sledgehammer, hahahha. sub-category/spinoff being the too-old/tired-for-your-shit-so-pls-fuck-off kind of vibe ;DDD

3. THE VERY MEAN VERY TERRIBLE GIRL W QUESTIONABLE MORALS IS A MAIN POV AND ALSO MY FAVORITE AND NO I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE - [ tess + camila, kyvana, tselvya aka the murder princess trio of lay them to rest ] ummmmm no excuse except i might be not 100% straight lmfaoooooooo. i just can’t resist ruthless amoral girls in flouncy ruffles & floral frocks ok next (!)

4. TREE-HUGGING SHIT / POETRY IN NATURE - [ verdínqa, dulcifera, of daisies & ddt, a bit of run devil run ] i’m an envi sci nerd & study something similar w my degree program so no surprise :D ever since high school i’ve been into subverting the light = life & darkness = death trope, just after learning about shit like eutrophication & hypoxic waters etc where growth/a surplus actually leads to death, and sort of the belief that death in nature isn’t inherently bad for the entire system (ecocentric holism & alla’ that). and also a point that’s been driven home countless times by lectures, talks, books, webinars, what have you - the earth as just a planet will be fine even w all the anthropogenic shit going on, it’s humans who will be fucked. so that makes its way into my work a ton!

5. REINCARNATED QUEEN BEES - [ jenny, chae ] idk there’s just something so iconic about that aesthetic. zombie girls in chanel & luisa beccaria ya feel. the absolute vanity/arrogance/haughtiness of your typical hs movie rich bitch TM meets oh shit im not really alive and also eating brains is gross (i once googled human brain nutrition facts. quora saved a girl but also my search history is wack lmfao)..... yea! :kermitdab:

6. DITZY PINK SIDEKICK WHO IS ACTUALLY PRETTY BOOKSMART - [ steph, lea, lyra ] to (sort of) go with above, i like writing the bubbly girly girls who can throw front tucks and scorpions and double arabians like nobody’s business but also aren’t your stereotypical ‘dumb cheerleader’ trope; they’re just thought of as ditzy because of how nice/sweet/outgoing they are. also 3/4 times they drive crusty mom vans. yes this is me projecting my own driving experience no i will not change

7. SARCASTIC IDIOT MEME QUEENS - [ chrissy, inferna/vicky, angie ] always obsessed with memes, usually obsessed with food/sbux, kpop, or both. these girls are fun to write bc it’s like, 2 brain cells and they’re all devoted to simping for girl groups or copping free food deals (yes i make them all blackpink fans yes i am basic no i do not accept criticism) which is just #same. usually tend to be pretty scathing & hotheaded, also with a bit of a too-tired-for-this-pls-fuck-off energy ;D and that’s highkey my entire internal dialogue so like..... :kermitdab:

8. GLITTER + GORE / MURDER PRINCESSES - [ robot unicorn attack & its spinoff ‘rua: guts & glory’, proper young killing machines, lay them to rest, this new hyper-girly pokemon yugioh-esque collab w loml <333 ] traditionally “”””””””girly/feminine”””””””” aesthetics meets murder/other very dangerous activities you should not try at home!

9. FACETIOUS REFERENCES TO RL - [ gem quest, robot unicorn attack, lay them to rest, other things im prob forgetting ] basically i’m super facetious and also a clown and i like to poke fun at stupid things in my own life hahahah. gem quest is very modern meme culture meets high fantasy fairyland (& it was a collab with fanfan! so literally just my aes meets hers ;DDDDD) in the way i wrote it (references to twilight, phineas & ferb, kpop, other memes in the fairytale setting basically); robot unicorn attack is allllll about that petty celeb drama (just with a glitzy cyberpunk backdrop & also unicorns) LMAOOO & it does have tons of similarities to the kpop industry! & lay them to rest - aka murder princess aesthetic heaven - has me pulling out shit like ‘picstagram’ and ‘versacci’ (versace + gucci lol i’m so lame). one of the murder-y girls is a social media influencer/beauty guru. yeah!!

& last but not least-

10. MORE AESTHETIC THAN PLOT - [ insert everything i’ve ever written ] look i can NEVER come up with coherent plot lines WHATSOEVER but at least my pinterest is popping & my prose is all overly detailed descriptions of dresses & flowers LOL

tagging: @bebemoon @vampirkaninchen @morningstar1399 @now-on-elissastillstands @atimefordragons @tudorgirl @lend-your-lungs-to-me @bulletgirl @unholieds @artless-whimsy @interluxetumbra @clarienanaberry << sorry i cant splel ur writeblr @n-eusex + anyone who sees this & wants to do it!!! <3 <3 <3

#my stuff #my writing #TYSM FOR THE TAG THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN

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ajokeformur-ray · 4 years

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Never know ‘til you try // Pat x Reader // first date fluff.

If ya really need something to do why dint ya surprise me with pat? Haha only if ya got nothing to do. A date or something, gettin to know each other. @itsthejoker

‘----’ denotes a time skip.

Word count: 1, 307.

I’m not sure if this is even in character lmao so if it’s total rubbish please tell me and I’ll redo it! <3

When Patrick Verona, the Patrick Verona, had called out to you in the courtyard, walking towards you quickly and gaining everyone’s attention, and then asked you out on a date as easily as if he had been discussing the weather, you had been floored.

“M-me?” You looked either side of you, you turned around to look behind you. Was it a joke, a prank, a trick? Somehow, he didn’t strike you as That Type of person, but years of insecurities and anxiety had built up and even though you wanted desperately to believe this boy’s sweet smile, the warm aura which surrounded him and the way that he almost felt safe to you, you found that a larger, more rational part of you couldn’t.

Oh, but there were glaringly obvious differences in your personalities, in your lifestyle...

A gentle but calloused fingertip touched the underside of your chin and Pat led your face back to his, his intense chocolate eyes meeting yours. “Yes, you! Y/N. There’s something about you, Y/N, and I want to get to know you. So what’d’ya say, hm? Wanna come on a date with me?”

“I...” You hesitated but the knowing tilt of Pat’s head, his dark curls barely brushing the tops of his shoulders, that one vein in his neck which looked especially tempting, the crush which you had had on him for months all built up and came together and you found yourself unable to resist him. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll go on a date with you.”

If you thought his smile was bright, then his beam as your answer sunk inside his ears and caressed his brain gently was positively radiant, the very embodiment of sunshine. “Perfect! Pick you up at seven? Dress casual.”

And as quickly as Pat had come, he was gone, his mission accomplished. Once you were out of sight, he allowed himself to rake his hands through his hair, take a deep breath and centre himself with a flash of a grin. He’d done it. Though he sometimes hated his reputation, so often when he needed some extra bravado did he rely on it to get him through. Oh, but you made him so weak in the knees.

It wasn’t until after you had got home that you realised he had never even asked for your address.

------

Pat was on your doorstep at seven sharp, wearing a long sleeved charcoal t-shirt and a pair of black jeans. His hair was freshly washed and fluffy and his smile was just as breathtaking as it had been earlier.

“Y/N! You look... wow.” Pat’s eyes moved over your body. It wasn’t predatory in the slightest, only appreciative as he took in the clothes which you had decided to wear. ‘Dress casual’ had been your only instruction and so you had worn your usual clothes. Usual was casual, right?

“Thanks, Verona. You’re not too bad yourself.”

That fleeting smile and you felt heat rising to your cheeks as he waited for you to get ready to go, locked up your place and then he offered you his arm and walked with you to his car. Pat was the perfect gentleman. He opened his car door for you, made sure that you were seated, belted and comfortable and he only drove a little over the speed limit. He didn’t want any trouble tonight.

“Patrick?”

He hummed to let you know that he was listening, concentrating was he on the road. His brows were furrowed as he kept an eye on the road signs, making sure that he was following the directions he’d only read once.

“How did you know where I lived?”

Pat chuckled darkly, the sound dancing tantalisingly up your spine. “I, uh, I didn’t,” he winced at his own lack of forethought, “I realised after I left you there in the courtyard that I forgot to ask you, so I broke into the counsellor’s office and found your file during lunch.”

You let that sink in, your mind racing. Through your giggles, you said, “You could have just - you could have just found me again and asked me. I would have told you.”

“I know,” Pat was looking for a parking space now, his curls brushing the tops of his broad shoulders as he looked left and right. “I didn’t wanna be creepy about it.”

“So breaking into an office for a file is less creepy than approaching me yourself?”

“When you put it like that...”

“You’re a dork, Patrick Verona.”

“Yeah, I know.” A grin and then, as he found a parking space, he said, “You’re not afraid of me, are you?”

“Why would I be afraid of you? You didn’t do all those things people say about you. The air around you always feels safe.”

Pat frowned, fully parking the car. He turned in his seat to look at you, to really look at you. “What makes you think I didn’t do those things?”

“Oh, come on. You set someone on fire? Ate a whole duck? Slept with a spice girl - “ You paused, pretended to think, “Actually that last one might be true.”

Pat tried to glare at you in mock offense but he couldn’t do it. He grinned and leaned over to kiss your cheek. “Thank you for seeing me. No one’s ever taken the time to think about it for themselves.” His lips lingered against your skin and you closed your eyes, feeling some kind of static against your cheek. Your stomach swooped and you realised what was happening to you in that moment.

“Does your reputation bother you?”

A second of consideration. “Nah, not really. It’s handy, sometimes... means no one bats an eyelid when I steal files during lunch.” There was some kind of tension in his jaw, though, some kind of light in his eyes that you had seen in your own reflection sometimes, long after the world had gone quiet, in those darkest hours of the night. “Sometimes... sometimes I wonder what school coulda meant for me if... if I wasn’t.” If I wasn’t me hung in the air between you and your heart squeezed as you looked at Patrick, as you really looked at him.

You realised, right there in his car, before you had even taken in where he had taken you, that there was so much more to Patrick Verona than you had first thought, but also that your gut instinct had been right. He wasn’t just the town’s bad boy. He was so much more and galaxies lay in the depths of those chocolate eyes.

You couldn’t wait to explore them.

As Pat coughed lightly and got out of the car, slamming the door shut and walking around the car to open your door for you, you made a split second decision. Impulsive. You released your seat belt from the catch, got out of the car and pulled an unsuspecting Pat into a hug. “So, if this is where you’ve taken me for our first date, where are we gonna go for our second?”

Pat hugged you back tightly, his body tense but his hold was warm. He had been a koala in a previous life, of this you were sure. “Second date? Y/N, we’ve barely even arrived at the first.”

“I know, but - “ You pulled away from Pat, keeping your hands on his shoulders. You wanted to see his reaction to your next words. “There’s something about you, Patrick Verona, and I want to get to know you. So what’d’ya say?”

The intentional echo of his previous words made Patrick’s entire face light up and he laughed, the sound deep and rich as he pulled you back into a hug. “Sounds good, love. Can’t wait.”

Your stomach swooped again, you nuzzled into the hug, and you realised that you couldn’t, either.

Patrick Verona @jokershyena @loveletterstoledger @itsthejoker @royaleclownx @tsukiakarinobara @arianatheangelworld @antonija89 @hotpacino

#patrick verona #patrick verona x reader #patrick verona imagine #10 things i hate about you #10 things i hate about you imagine #10 things i hate about you x reader #heath ledger #heath ledger imagine #heath ledger x reader

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risingsunresistance · 2 years

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digging through some old tweets like a normal person and found this. had no idea statistics were ever released about the technoshop :0

700 BILLION COINS???????? could you imagine if all that money had actually gone back to techno 😭

#THE RESISTANCE WAS RICH THEY ARE THE ***ENTIRE*** 1% LMAO #chat #sb #i am responsible for so many of thise pigs jhdkfh #i am also responsible for at least one potato talisman drop :]

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jeonggukieandcream · 4 years

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To wear a halo of fire // Raven x Outpost!Michael Langdon // sensual cuddles.

Summary: You do so much in any given day that sometimes is it hard even to breathe. Your Michael, your beautiful angsty-christ (😂) is always so proud of you, but even at last is the day too much even for your body, he's there to coax your mind into a similar state of relaxation. He's not afraid to use his body to achieve such a goal. Anything for his darling Raven.

A/N: For a dearest friend, @ravenrainy. Thank you for talking to me throughout the years. We don’t always get time to talk but I cherish the days we find to speak to each other and I adore you so so much, as does Michael (call him angsty-christ to his face; what would he do? LMAO ~ ), and we’re both so so proud of you!! I love you, doll!💖💖💖

Word count: 1, 594.

(I don’t love Michael in the same way that you do, but shit the chills asdfghjk imagine that voice in your ear late at night...👀)

There was no word in your native language nor in the English language to describe the level of exhaustion which you were feeling right now.

Day after day were you always so busy that your body simply couldn’t keep up, and it wasn’t entirely unusual for you to collapse into bed next to Michael, too tired to even think clearly. Michael was equally as busy as you were with his final preparations, conducting the interviews, communicating with other Outposts and making his selections, and though he had advanced physicality due to his parentage, he too often came to bed tired and wanting nothing more than to slip into sleep the way one eases themselves into a warm bath...

... Slowly and then all at once.

On this night, you had been ready for bed hours ago. You had carried your way through your evening routine with a yawn every few moments, and somehow had Michael picked up on this. He had largely left you to it, knowing well did he just how busy you were, but the door to his bedroom, where he worked, had been left unlocked. He always knew exactly what you needed even before you knew that you needed, and it had been that way ever since you had known him all that time ago when you had been a neighbour of Constance’s. Michael had always loved you, even before he had known your name, and the two of you were truly meant to be; Satan had yet to bless it, but Michael couldn’t have cared less. It was his life and his choice and his Raven and that’s all that there was to it! If Michael was going to carry out his father’s bidding, then he was going to get to pick his own love, and no matter where he went, no matter who he became, no matter what happened to you, Michael would always pick you, again and again... and again.

Finally, finally, was it time for you to go to bed... to go to sleep and you knocked just once on Michael’s door with a single knuckle. The door pushed open under your touch, eager was he to get you to come to bed, and you couldn’t have stopped your fond, tired smile if you had tried. You let yourself in to Michael’s room and immediately did his scent envelop you, welcoming your senses home just as surely as his arms would greet your body. The warm orange glow of the fire which was perpetually lit in the old Victorian fireplace, complete with the original fixtures, gave the room a safe, gentle atmosphere. The heat from the flickering flames, which made the shadows dance upon the walls, only fed into the heavy lull of sleep which was beginning to make your feet drag across the dark wooden panels.

The room itself was tidy, the only artificial light coming from the glowing apple symbol on the lid of Michael’s laptop. You knew not where or how it was powered, but it mattered not. The room was serene in how neat it was, warm from the fire, and on the bed, oh... your Antichrist wore a halo of fire, his golden curls reflecting the orange glow which was in the room, and his eyes were closed. A peaceful smile was on the corner of his lips and, oh, how you longed to join him. But you should get some more work done, this you knew, there was still maybe an hour until you really had to -

A deep, rich chuckle broke the quiet stillness of the room and you almost jumped. Almost. “Why do you bother trying to make yourself work, when what you want has already won?” Michael turned his head slowly to look at you, his eyes alive with humour, and you shrugged good-naturedly.

“There’s always more to be done.”

“Of course,” Michael’s arm peeled away from where it had been still by his side and he raised it up to drape over your side of the bed, his extravagantly bejeweled fingers dangling just over the edge. He curled his slender wrist upwards and made a “come hither” motion with his index finger and like a siren’s call was it powerless for you to resist. “But where’s the fun in that?” You advanced and allowed yourself to be pulled down, down, by a will not entirely your own, and you sighed in relief as finally, finally, did you get to relax in your bed, as finally did you get to cuddle up to your Antichrist. You had been wanting this all day and Michael had been craving you just as badly. You completed each other, whole persons on your own but all the stronger for the love which you shared. “There you are, my beautiful Raven.”

You rested your head against the back of Michael’s hand, and his nimble fingers dove into your hair, manually and easily working out any tangles which would cause you pain or discomfort when later did you try to brush your hair. He was always everything you needed and even in his blackest moods was that no different. He always had time for you, he always had room for you, and he was always there for you. With a weary sigh did you roll over and Michael huffed in suppressed amusement as his arms encircled you and you were pulled tighter into his chest. You were home now, in the arms of someone who had brought light to your life. It was ironic, really, considering that he was the Antichrist, and the idea made you giggle. Michael, sensing your thoughts, only smirked and pressed an approving kiss to the crown of your head; a queen were you.

Still thinking were you also of work; your mind now figuring out everything which had to be done tomorrow through its own hazy exhaustion, so all-consuming were your days, and the things which you also had to do the day after that and the day - Michael groaned, wanting you to stop, and he could think of nothing more to do than to simply press his full lips to yours. His kiss was slow, reverent. You were his religion and daily did he lay worship at your altar. You half wanted to pull away from Michael now, due to bad relationship experiences in the past, but this was Michael and you knew that you - that all of you - was safe with him. So you stayed, you stayed, just as you had when you had found out who, what, he really was, and Michael hummed against your lips in satisfaction. He knew that you were okay, but even so was he gentle with you, he was patient and he was caring and nurturing and it was so at odds with how the rest of the remainder of humanity perceived him to be,

But you saw Michael, you saw him, and he saw you, too. The darkness in him called out to the darkness in you and you answered one another’s call as naturally as one breathed. Michael rolled you so that you were underneath him, the brunt of his weight supported on his elbows. Like spun gold did his beautiful locks spill down his face, shielding your own view of the room like curtains, and his blue eyes had amber flecks contained within their oceanic depths from the reflection of the fire. He looked like an angel with a halo of fire, and oh, how your poor heart ached. “There is nothing you can’t do tomorrow, my love,” Michael’s lips barely brushed against your own, his nose almost touching yours, and you hummed and looped your arms around his shoulders, “Your body needs to rest, and your mind - “ Michael trailed off and angled his head so that he could press a kiss to your temple. His lips, heated from the warmth of the room and also from the warmth of your own mouth against his, lingered against your skin, and you felt your eyelids growing heavier... you resisted the pull, the urge to stay awake because finally did you have some time with Michael, but his voice filtered through your weary mind.

Just relax, Raven... focus on the sound of my voice. Follow me. You’re strong enough to do anything, you know that. You’re my Queen and the world, once it is rebuilt, is yours and mine.

Michael rolled again so that you were once more cradled into his chest, a hand on the back of your head, his arm slung around your waist and one of his legs tucked between both of yours so that you were anchored to his body, and as his lips claimed yours once again, you felt that same lull over your consciousness.You were ready to sleep now, and even as you registered in the back of your mind that Michael was the reason you were suddenly completely relaxed and sleepy, you were once again powerless to resist his call. He had set out to so completely relax you, and he had achieved exactly that. With Michael’s body tightly pressed against yours, his hands keeping you where you were, his mind connected to yours, his heart intertwined with yours and the spirits of your souls joined forevermore, you closed your eyes and at last, at last... you slept. As promised did Michael follow you and he was waiting for you even in your dreams, for there was nowhere you could go where he would not follow you.

#michael langdon #cody fern #michael langdon imagine #raven x michael langdon

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gizkasparadise · 4 years

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kdrama rec/review: bridal mask

KDRAMA AND CDRAMA MASTER LIST OF REVIEWS

Series: bridal mask / gaksital Episodes: 28 Genres: historical, action, drama, romance, tragedy, people screaming each others’ names in all capital letters 2006 anime style Spoilers in the Rec: im going to try to avoid them. im really, really going to try. but no guarantees If You Like, You’ll Like: zorro, robin hood, v for vendetta, chicago typewriter, vigilante shit, kate beaton comics on My Nemesis, mr sunshine, watching people become progressively unhinged, bad guys that become good guys, good guys that become bad guys, Parallel Narratives, cat and mouse games but they’re both cats, 2010 hair in a 1930s world, people in a room together internally thinking does he know that i know that he knows?

Rank: 9.5/10

GAKSITALLLLLLLLLLLLLL PREMISE

set during the japanese occupation of korea in the 1930s, bridal mask centers on lee kangto, an absolute shit weasel. like. good god, what an asshole. anyways.

kangto is a korean police officer who is employed by the japanese--meaning he’s essentially a rat/turncoat to his own people and supporting their colonization and abuse of power. it’s especially fucked up because kangto’s older brother was tortured so much by japanese police officers that he’s essentially lost his mind. people hate kangto. straight up hate him.

as a lieutenant in the imperial police, kangto’s been working to catch members of the korean resistance movement, but left and right he’s been thwarted by...

THE BRIDAL MASK (gaksital in korean)

a mysterious figure who wears a mask resembling a korean bride’s traditional makeup. bridal mask is essentially zorro, fucking up shit left and right and generally making kangto lose his shit. he makes it his goal to be the one to apprehend and arrest this mysterious figure. seems straightforward, but as kangto’s search for the bridal mask continues, and the people around him are drawn into the hunt, it’s clear that shit’s not what it seems.

MAIN CHARACTERS

lee kangto/sato hiroshi/lee young

a korean man who works for the japanese as a police officer. 0% approval rating from the koreans and maybe a 5% approval rating from the japanese. kangto’s initial goals for joining the police force were to help his family get out of poverty, but his morality’s been cha-cha sliding progressively darker the longer he works for the police force. he becomes obsessed with catching the bridal mask and everyone would like him to really quit being an asshole but he will not.

catch phrase is bingo! takes over the nightclub stage when he’s feeling swaggy. would shoot the love interest. shoots pretty much anyone wearing a mask, really, then yells about it

oh mok dan / mild spoiler: esther / spoiler: boon yi

a patriotic korean woman associated with the independence army, mok dan commits acts of subterfuge and gathers intel against the japanese forces. her day job is a performer at a circus, where she lives and hides out from japanese officials whenever shit goes awry. when lee kangto sees her getting saved by bridal mask, he assumes she’s the bridal mask’s lover and therefore intends to use mok dan as The Bait. mild spoilers it turns out she was once childhood friends with lee kangto’s best friend, kimura shunji

wears many amazing suits. has no problem with spitting or shooting. fears no boxes. can take a punch or 5. basically my dream girl it’s fine

kimura shunji

a japanese man and kangto’s best friend. coming from a family of influential, imperialist asshole samurai cops, shunji is the black sheep as he works as a music teacher for korean children, and is generally against the corruption and abuse of power when he sees it. basically the only one kangto’s never a straight up asshole to, including his family. the two practice what appears to be kendo together (i know jack shit about martial arts), and shunji’s a capable fighter. my default is to assume shunji is everyone’s favorite character, because he is my favorite character :’D, but if not i think he’s definitely the most compelling in the series.

wears bowties when he wants to dress to impress. rides bicycles both happily and tragically. has a thing for a childhood friend who saved his nanny. will give you a ride home after you’ve been tortured. save this man from his family.

ueno rie/ra ra/ spoiler: chae hong joo

a korean woman from a rich family that was murdered by the independence army who later became a gisaeng. as a gisaeng, she crosses paths with a very important japanese man who later adopts her into his family. because the japanese police keep fucking up the apprehension of bridal mask, her adoptive father calls her to korea from japan in order to kill the vigilante

stealth fave?! will step all over you and makes grown men cry. hyper competent and hardcore. bridal mask’s best dressed (try again with the bow ties next year, shunji). men are weak

the bridal mask GAKSITAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the mysterious figure either ruining or making everyone’s day. dramatic horse escapes. dramatic rescues. generally just drama. symbolically destroys japanese flags/insignia a lot. GAKSITAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SOME SUPPORT CHARACTERS SELECTED BY HOW MUCH THEY ARE MY FAVORITES

mok damsari

mok dan’s father and a general in the independence army. v good at being rescued dramatically. knows how to make an exit and also bombs. dispenses life wisdom when he’s got free time in between rounds of being torture

lee kang san

kang to’s older brother, who joined the independence army and was tortured by the japanese police to the extent that he’s now lost his mind/severely mentally ill. dude just needs a hug or 20 and to never chase after a car ever, ever again because it makes me sad.

katsuyama jun

ueno rie’s bodyguard, which is amusing to me because she can clearly kill anyone she needs to, so it’s kind of like he’s a butler as well. stoic af, says maybe 20 lines in the entire series, but look, he’s cool

i dont like any of the japanese police officers because they’re dicks so they don’t get a feature :|

Drawbacks

the production value is something you gotta settle into LOL. there’s the cheesy martial arts sound effects, sometimes it skews a little narmy, but once you get used to it and once the show gets progressively darker (and how) you adjust and then don’t notice it

my main #1 beef: mok dan starts to disappear in the last fourth of the series. like she’s still there, but she’s doing bullshit like making soup and just sitting at a table with nothing to say. as a character that’s so important in the first half, it’s severely disappointing the route that her narrative takes toward the end/she does become something of a satellite character even though i still love her

there are main character deaths--more than one. some people would say the ending is bittersweet but to me i think it’s straight-up sad (which is fine with me/appropriate for the story, i just know that’s not everyone’s cup of tea)

there’s torture and for the most part it’s shown / it’s not off-camera

shit gets dark. the first handful of eps might lull one into thinking is something like zorro or robin hood, but there’s a lot of fuckery and death by the time you get to the end

Reasons to Watch

i mean, it’s fun! which is a messed up thing to say about a dark show, but there’s a lot of twists and the show’s an extended game of cat-and-mouse that’s a good time because the audience knows certain things but the main characters don’t. the drama of it all!

Now That’s What I Call Character Arcs. kang to + shunji’s respective character arcs are amazing and are referred to as the best part of the show for a reason. you’ll hate and love them both throughout the series and it’s great. shunji was my favorite

i love both the female leads a lot. they’re totally different in personality and the sides that they’re on, but they’re both compelling and they have their own troubles and goals to work through

one of the main characters looks around the chaos happening and decides to just fucking leave all these people behind forever lmao i love it

acting is great! some people knock on mok dan’s actress but i thought she was perfectly fine for the character

i’ll admit, i’m into characters who become progressively unhinged and the actor who plays the character who does is so so A+

there’s romance but gd does it get dark sometimes. this is a plus or a minus depending on who you are lol

Final Thoughts.

#bridal mask #gaksital #joo won #park ki woong #jin se yeon #gizka does kdrama #gizkarec #kdrama #GAKSITAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL #!my post

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atissi · 5 years

Note

What advice would you give someone who wants to play Pathologic but is also terrified of screwing up really badly because I've played just enough of it to feel like there's no way I can succeed without looking stuff up but I don't want to do that! Just basic tips and/or reassurances if you have any?

Updated: Feb. 27 2021 (since I've finished and am replaying P2)

See, the thing about Pathologic is that it’s not possible to “succeed” like you do in other video games. There’s no happy ending for everyone. In the same sense, you can’t really fail. The game accommodates a wide variety of deaths and mistakes—even in Pathologic Classic HD, you can get a character's ending if you hoard enough medicine by the end of the 12 days, no matter how many people get sick or die. In Pathologic 2, everyone can die, but you’ll still be able to get an ending. Even some of the "bad" endings are fun in their own right. Sometimes, the game will reward you with more content because you failed in the first place.

All that being said, I totally relate to your fears. I’ll start by talking about Pathologic 2 first, since I’m more familiar with it. Then there will be some tips on playing Pathologic Classic HD.

Pathologic 2 is incredibly punishing, both emotionally and mechanically. I’ve seen people adapt to this through 3 different playstyles. I’ll rank them in terms of “least close to the intended gaming experience” to “most close”.

1. Just cheat.

“wrt cheating, as a notorious cheater, id recommend trying to do the game as legitimately as possible regardless! if there are some aspects that you absolutely do not vibe with, even with reduced difficulty (for me that's hunger mechanics), i would say that you can load in items to mitigate this aspect. and, tying in with the second point, if you complete a run this way you can always go back and try it legitimately since you've (sort of) gotten an understanding of the mechanic.” - Onion

If you have really bad anxiety, or just dont have the time available to do the other playstyles, cheating is a way to engage with Pathologic 2′s excellent story. Fiddling with the difficulty controls is allowed. Spawning in endless food for yourself is possible. I can even get you in touch with someone who uses cheat codes in the game regularly to get game assets. If changing the game is what it takes for you to get through it, I think it’s better than nothing. But I’d personally at least encourage you to try an Imago playthrough first. Decide if it’s too difficult for you after that. And again: Pathologic 2 is constantly trying to trip you up. It’s meant to be difficult. Sometimes you’ll fail and the game won’t tell you if you could have prevented it. Just keep going. But like Onion said, cheating works as a supplement.

2. Replay, replay, and replay, until you get it right.

“You can always replay. You have more time than they do. Also save states are your friend.” - Alex

“reload as much as possible, do NOT look things up. your first playthru WILL be bad, and thats good!!! experience it fully yourself first. [and] “reload as much as possible” meaning like: [it] isnt a crime, you can do it as many times as possible. but dont get stressed about doing everything perfectly. its an experience!!!” - Zee

There’s no penalty for using your save states. If you get stuck in a death loop, go back as far as you need to in order to get things right. Hopefully this means starting a day over and using your time more effectively. Personally, I got to Day 7 before realizing I had to restart from Day 1, because I was doing that badly. Trust me, if you’ve gotten one miracle cure and 10 bottles of water by then, you’ll be doing better than I was. My friend Bee had trouble too, and took 92 hours to finish their first playthrough. A replay playstyle takes a LOT of time. But Pathologic 2 is so rich in content that replaying isn’t even as annoying as it could be. And this is also the best way to complete as many quests and save as many people as you want. Whenever you’re scared, just remember: you can always go back on your choices! (Other than the theatre’s death penalties. But nothing can help you with those.)

3. Just go through it.

Again. You’re not supposed to succeed in Pathologic. In the words of the lead translator Kevin Snow, “…I know [Pathologic 2’s] script and this is different from other games: there’s so much story locked behind failure and death. You’ll die, and you can’t save everyone. That doesn’t gate you from story; it gives you more. Resist, survive, but continue.” It’s only when you’re suffering that you experience the story so viscerally. That’s when the choices mean something. Sacrificing your own health or the health of others–saving tinctures for yourself, breaking into houses, killing people, choosing not to help people because you just don’t have time–these are impactful because you’re experiencing the mechanical repercussions of your actions. You are not a removed arbiter of the Town’s suffering. Everyone in Pathologic is having the worst 12 days of their life, and you’re dying right alongside them. Spoilers for Day 4, but I don’t think visiting the Rod and seeing the Tragedians would have affected me so deeply if I wasn’t actively starving for the entire sequence. It served as a reminder that I wasn’t the only one in pain; it was heart-breaking and heart-warming. Which I think is Pathologic at its core.

Try to see your failures in the game as another form of success. You’re experiencing the game as it’s meant to be played. And when you feel bad about all the people you’ve failed, remember that this is all a play. The game knows it’s artificial. You can replay the game after you finish–and feel free to use cheats or lowered difficulties on a replay–in order to get everything right. Your mistakes aren’t permanent! But on a first playthrough, try to tough through the hardships. You’ll have a more fulfilling time.

Other tips

You can use these 3 playstyles in combination if you need to. I let myself die when I feel like I deserved the punishment, or reload when I feel like I don’t. Bee managed to finish Day 11 by lowering the game difficulty in the final stretch. Just approximate the intended gaming experience as much as you can.

As for gameplay guides, I don’t think anyone I’ve met recommends it (at least for Pathologic 2). The game does interesting things with when and where it reveals information to you, often in ways that are deliberately inconveniencing. You want to experience that on your own. I also think Pathologic 2 is relatively good at telegraphing mechanics or quests. compared to Patho Classic. That said, I do have tips that I wish I knew before playing:

Sprint everywhere. I know the town is beautiful. But you’re on a hell of a time crunch. If you finish your quests early you can forage or trade for more resources, or just bottom out your exhaustion bar. Sprinting does not make your exhaustion go up faster, and water is plentiful in the first few days. Just do it! Save your own time!

Save a lot. Even if you’re not gonna die on your way in and out of the Broken Heart, this game is chock-full of choices, down to the resource management. If you waste a swig of twyrine, you’ll want a good save point to reload at. You can load any save point in your timeline, so save as often as you want. Keep track of where clocks are on the map--the game tags these in the building descriptions. (For that matter, keep track of where beds are. I didn’t realize I could sleep at Vlad Sr.’s place, which made me waste SO much time travelling between the Shelter and the Lair.)

Learn the trading economy. Everyone holds items at different values. Even the kids value certain nuts over others. There are also some interesting conversion rates between items, like peanuts to soap to pemmican. Make the most of the items you’re bartering. And for that matter, try to build up a cache of items valuable to little girls, in case you find one with a schmowder. The kid’s caches are valuable for trading too: twyrine can show you the locations.

This is also a good spoiler-free guide to Pathologic 2′s mechanics.

For Pathologic Classic HD, I haven’t personally played it, but I’m under the impression that it’s easier than Pathologic 2 because there are less character perma-deaths and no death penalties. The advice about reloading still applies. Here’s what Ally says:

“id recommend using a spoiler free guide (Bachelor, Haruspex, and Changeling guides) but other than that read the diary and letters carefully and try to keep track of npcs that could be affiliated with quests. also! some quests have different options for endings so there could be multiple ways to complete them. stock up on food on the earlier days, and after the inquisitor arrives because the prices drop. try to stealth kill with melee weapons when you can, and also reserve your bullets. …also make sure to trade with the children a lot! hold onto objects like the hooks and flowers [to get schmowders. Like I said before, to win the game you only need enough cures to heal the Bound.] …another tip is to keep a pen and paper around to take notes. like when i got the tincture recipes instead of keeping them in my inventory i just wrote them down.”

And that’s it! If you need specific advice or clarification, feel free to DM me! I love talking about this game. I can also get you in touch with anyone mentioned in this post (except Kevin Snow LMAO). Pathologic has an amazing story and I want everyone to experience it!!!

#inbox #beepbeep.txt #pathologic

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laufire · 4 years

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Disney Ask 1-15 & 30-35 <3 <3

I answered 3 and 32 here, and 33 here ^-^

Favourite scene in a Princess movie?

The entire “Just Around The Riverbend” sequence in Pocahontas. That film has issues upon its issues but that if it isn’t visually and musically stunning.

Favourite scene in a non Princess movie?

Since I recently rewatched Treasure Planet... I LOVE the intro, with the book, the ships, alien Captain Flint, little Jim... it’s so damn perfect.

Is your family Disney obsessed?

Not really. They love a good film as much as anyone, but that’s it.

How many times have you visited the parks?

I’ve been to Disneyland Paris once, for about a week, when I was... 12? 13?

Which park is your favourite?

I’ve only been to the one, so.

Cinderella’s castle or Sleeping Beauty’s castle?

Sleeping Beauty’s, when it’s cursed. It’s my aesthetic lmfao.

Favourite animal themed movie?

OLIVER AND COMPANY IS THE BEST. (I’m thinking Disney-exclusive here, because A Bug’s Life is too good not to pick it otherwise, okay).

Favourite Disney movie from the 1950’s?

Sleeping Beauty. Some great songs, endearing characters, Maleficent, DRAGON!Maleficent, Maleficent’s whole vibe... c’mon.

Also, since there’s not a ‘40s option, I’m saying that one is Dumbo.

Favourite Disney movie from the 1960’s?

The Sword in the Stone. I like One Hundred and One Dalmatians too (Roger’s Cruella song!!) and The Jungle Book (though I have Issues there lmfao), but I can’t resist a good, wacky and fuc Arthurian retelling xD

Favourite Disney movie from the 1970’s?

You want to make me choose between The Aristocats, Robin Hood, AND The Rescuers?? Ugh.

Okay, I’m picking Robin Hood. I can’t resist a rob-the-rich story. Maid Marian should’ve been a lioness, though.

Favourite Disney movie from the 1980’s?

I love Oliver and Company, and I STILL need to watch The Black Cauldron and The Great Mouse Detective (shame on me, really), but The Little Mermaid has my heart forever and ever. THE MUSIC *-*. “Part of Your World” and “Poor Unfortunate Souls” are recurrent shower songs of mine lmfao.

Favourite Disney movie from the 1990’s?

I love every single animated film from this decade (The Rescuers Down Under, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, The Lion King, A Goofy Movie, Pocahontas, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Hercules, Tarzan...), and it pains me not to choose them BUT C’MON. You all knew I was going to say Mulan.

They did Hocus Pocus too, so. Shout out to the ‘90s. Also I plan to watch Muppet Treasure Island at some point too, and it’s from this decade too...

Favourite Disney movie from the 2000’s?

There’s a few amzing, solid ones here too (Treasure Planet, Atlantis: The Lost Empire, The Emperor’s New Groove, The Princess and the Frog), but the number one has to be Lilo & Stitch. It wrecks me every time.

Favourite Disney movie from the 2010’s?

Moana, since being part Pixar’s leaves Coco out in this case. Tbh I haven’t watched that many films from this decade (GO BACK TO 2D ANIMATION ASSHOLES), so the pool to choose from was tiny lol. I did enjoy Moana, though.

What are your top three favourite Disney songs?

THREE?? JUST THREE?? Ugh, fine.

The first one that popped into my head were “Poor Unfortunate Souls”, “God Help The Outcasts” and “Be Prepared”. IMO The Little Mermaid, The Hunchback of Notre Dame and The Lion King were the best films musical-wise (as much as I might vibe more with the genres used in say, Hercules or The Princess and the Frog), so there’s that.

Mickey or Minnie?

Eh, I was all about the ducks when it came to the classic characters lol (which is a bit ironic since I find RL ducks and related animals utterly horrifying xDD).

If you could be a face character at one of the parks, who would you be and why?

Well, one of the princesses would be best, since I wouldn’t have to wear anything on my face... I could be Belle, easily. Or Alice, with a wig. Was there an Alice? IDK, but her dress would be comfortable lol.

If you could be in any scene from any Disney movie, which would it be and why?

IDK about scenes, but I’d be happy in the Treasure Planet universe lmao. And ngl, rn the concert scene from A Goofy Movie souns so nice...

#replies #talking to the void #my thoughts #disney thoughts #disney #music #thanks!#childoftimeandmagic

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normal-thoughts-official · 5 years

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I love your Magnus responses! Some have brought me to tears :') hopwfully you haven't answered this yet. I always see fics/ metas on how Alec came to terms about his sexuality, but never on Magnus (or just a selecative few). In your opinion how did he come to terms with his bisexuality? - luxxmagnus

okay first of all I LOVE UR BLOG im so glad u like my shit omg fajsfoamsa and second of all BOY DO I HAVE THOUGHTS ABOUT HOW MAGNUS CAME TO TERMS WITH HIS SEXUALI-

okay SO. your relationship with sexuality is deeply influenced by your early years, as is, well, most aspects of your personality lol. so i think it’s fascinating to think about magnus’ relationship with his gender identity and sexuality considering he was born in early-1600s indonesia, aka right when the colonization started. meaning, a lot of their customs and views on gender and sexuality couldn’t have possibly been erased yet, but they were being very violently and aggressively repressed. and then he finished his growing-up years with asmodeus, a demon, who can’t really give much of a fuck about gender identity and sexuality. so this means a very complicated relationship is bound to develop, and i love it.

unfortunately, magnus’ exact ethnic background isn’t specified in SH (nor tsc, i believe) which makes the whole discussion a lot harder because there are hundreds of native peoples in indonesia. however, they were very much in contact with each other both before and after the dutch invasion and subsequent colonisation, so what i’m gonna do here is talk a little bit about the views on the subject magnus was definitely aware of, and go from there

i know this specifically asked about his bisexuality so i will refrain from shitting my trans magnus headcanon all over the place but i will say that the Bugis people recognised five genders, including one for AFAB people who identified as neither male nor female, and one that embodied both female and male identities

anyway, queerphobia is, in fact, a very recent and very european thing, and most indonesian people, like most asian people and most non-modern-western peoples, were actually A-okay with what we view today as homosexuality. there were even many rituals centered around men-on-men and women-on-women practices. they were also pretty open with sexuality as a whole; there’s even a mountain with a shrine where people have sex with strangers as part of their religious worship.

but, as we know, the european colonizers were very intent on killing off and erasing all records of their dominated cultures, particularly the aspects that directly challenged the european model of gender, sexuality and relationships, to the point where we, ppl born in previously colonised countries, don’t even know about our culture’s views on gender and sexuality. in indonesia, the dutch criminalised homosexuality and we can’t forget that magnus’ stepfather was dutch, and that magnus was born after the colonisation.

so here’s the context: since it was very early in the colonisation days, there is no way that magnus didn’t know about the very rich and diverse gender and sexuality practices in his own country. there’s just no way. it takes decades to completely erase that shit. and we can’t forget that all indonesian peoples resisted colonisation, a lot. we don’t know the exact nature of magnus’ mother’s relationship with his stepfather, but it is very likely that he either enslaved or forced her to be in a relationship with him, because - well, because that’s colonisation, folks. it’s what these guys do. this is also supported by the way his stepfather treated magnus, because i mean, what the fuck. it was extremely rare that native colonised ppls would willingly be with their coloniser, particularly considering how the dutch were just, like, casually deporting and starving indonesian native ppls and ppl in java had been at war with the portuguese would-be settlers (would-be because they lost amazingly lmao get rekt) since the beginning of the 1500s. so im gonna go out on a limb here and say that magnus’ “stepfather” was, in fact, an abusive piece of shit coloniser who probably mistreated magnus’ mother and was probably a huge reason why she killed herself - i mean, your people are dying, and you’re bound to this guy who abuses and rapes you and keeps telling you everything about you and the way you live and was raised is demonic, that’s just bound to mess with you. actually, the religious aspect of colonisation that taught ppl that their cultures and religious were demonic and immoral and that they either had to repent for that and submit to the colonisers or be killed slash go to hell, hmmm…… well, is probably related to the fact that the idea that magnus was demon-related was repulsive enough to her that she killed herself? and that’s if we go with the interpretation that magnus was the main reason, which isn’t really reliable because 1- magnus clearly thinks he needs to Save Everyone and is bound to think that if anyone gets hurt it’s his fault; 2- canonically, it was magnus’ stepfather who told magnus that the reason she killed herself was magnus’ heritage. i mean i find it hard to believe personally that magnus’ mom didn’t know she was fucking a demon or at least a supernatural entity of some sort, and the whole angel-demon division is a christianity thing anyway, so what the fuck does this mean to magnus’ mom, really? especially considering that, unlike magnus, she probably was alive before the settlers arrived, so it’s even harder to believe that she would just uncritically believe everything about good and evil she was being taught by the guys that were, you know, committing mass genocide. i personally think that if magnus’ eyes were related to her killing herself at all (which makes less and less sense the more i think about it. i mean, what, was he born glamoured? surely she knew about this before he was like 11 or something) it would be because, in a way, this proved that everything she was being told about herself was true. she was demonic, her culture was demonic, and they deserved the absolutely horrific and traumatic things that were happening to them, and her son’s eyes proved it. so it’s not really about magnus as it is about, like, the entire continent of Europe’s bullshit. and anyway, again, everything she was going through was extremely traumatic - i think magnus’ eyes would be almost an afterthought, if considered at all.

anyway, sorry, went on a huge tangent here, i have no self control whatsoever. what i’m trying to say is that magnus grew up in an environment where expressions of different gender and sexuality were very repressed, but he was born in the heart of the very resistance. he was a native man (or, well, boy) and he knew for a fact that most people lived outside of the constricting western gender and sexuality binary, and he lived in a time where the europeans hadn’t really managed to dominate and erase their culture - of course, they never truly did, but the differences were way more latent. so magnus’ views on the whole thing were probably among the lines of “the asshole white people think the way we live is bad and are trying to kill us and that’s why they’re assholes and we’re trying to kick them out, but currently me and my mom are on their hands so i’m gonna have to behave like they expect me to”. so, lots of abuse, a very complicated relationship, but i do believe that magnus wouldn’t have internalised the european bullshit because, well, he was seeing the counterpoint and the resistance and he certainly knew which side was “his”. also in his flashbacks he’s wearing traditional indonesian clothing so there’s that - proof that he wasn’t completely assimilated to european views and culture.

and then he killed the stepfather (good riddance, rot in hell) and went to live his final teenage years with asmodeus. i mean, more like was found by asmodeus and forced to be with him by both the circumstances and asmodeus himself, but you get what i’m saying.

here’s the thing: asmodeus is definitely an asshole and an abuser, but i can’t bring myself to believe he gave a good fuck about modern-western gender roles and sexuality. he is older than them. by a lot. and he doesn’t even care about the earth realm that much, his whole thing is that he wants to rule edom, so i’m not even sure if he knows about them beyond the, like, very very basics. maybe not even that. so during the rest of magnus’ formative years, and probably the time he figured out what exactly his sexuality was anyway, he was in a pretty open environment when it came to that.

so with that we’ve reached the first conclusion of this huge-ass essay that you probably didn’t sign up for: up until he went to England, Magnus was probably pretty comfortable when it came to his sexuality. like, shit, he was fucked up about everything else, but this one thing i can’t see him internalising a lot of.

i’m gonna fast forward the asmodeus years because i don’t have a lot to say beyond that and also i have no fucking clue what the fuck was going on during that time????????? like it ended when magnus banished him to edom, so i can only assume they were on the earth realm the whole time, but what exactly were they doing???? no clue. i am gonna say, tho, that i think one of the reasons why magnus managed to break out of asmodeus’ shitty “be evil” conditioning is precisely because he had been on the other side before?? like obviously magnus must have been an extremely compassionate kid (which again makes absolute sense in the context of him being part of an oppressed people that were trying their hardest to fight together. you learn a few things about community-building and taking care of others in that context, lemme tell you) since he was out there blaming himself for his mom’s death and also for killing his literal piece of shit stepfather who also tried to kill him as well, but i think it’s just that much harder to help your dad commit mass murder when you’ve been on the receiving end of it. obviously he was probably around asmodeus for a while (i’m thinking until he was like, 18? you know, enough to be an adult), especially considering how he needed the help to learn how to master his magic and also he had nowhere else to go, and also asmodeus was all over the place with “they will always think you’re an abomination, i’m the only one who understands you” and he had eyes like him and all. but still. he knew that he didn’t want that, he knew that he liked earth and didn’t like edom at all and he knew that in order to be himself he’d need to get rid of asmodeus. so he did.

anyway, after the First Great Yeeting Of Asmodeus (second yeeting was when he sent him to limbo so he would never be able to come back. ugh we stan) Magnus went to England. I’m guessing that somehow he met other warlocks during his time with asmodeus (which actually makes sense, i mean, asmodeus must have been wanting ppl to join forces with so he could defeat lilith? or something like that idk they never said anything about what they were doing with their time magnus’ backstory’s got more holes than a swiss cheese) and there seems to be a pretty tight warlock community, so maybe he went to wherever it is that the warlocks meet to gossip and shit? trying to find somewhere else where he belonged. and there he met Ragnor, who helped him break out of his shell and find who he was beyond the constant abuse and the deeply ingrained idea that he was Born To Be Evil.

so for a while, magnus was learning who he was, and again the Warlock Community should be pretty open with gender and sexuality considering most of them are also older than western binary bullshit and also come from different, non-european backgrounds. it was probably at this point that he started going around, having relationships, looking for someone who loves him and somewhere to belong in, you know. haha im fine and soon he figured out that he wanted to find out more about the world. magnus is a curious and creative guy, he’s going around inventing portals and shit, he wants to see the world. so magnus goes to the mundane world. it makes sense, considering in most of his pics he seems to be in mundane settings, and there were no accords at that time. also i mean even post-accords magnus is still going around owning clubs where mundanes can get in so i think he’s quite fond of mundanes.

and that’s when shit comes crashing down, because “sodomy” was punishable by death in England until the 1960s and like boy these guys were not into the whole free sexuality thing. at all. i tend to think magnus would go looking for sex and stuff in downworlder and warlock spaces, where there was a lot more freedom and nobody gave a shit, but he was going around meeting people, and he’s vulnerable and he wants to be loved and he’s definitely been in relationships with mundanes. he knows he needs to hide it, but it doesn’t mean he’s uncomfortable with it. so he might get the occasional insult and he knows he needs to be careful, but this is one aspect of himself he’s actually okay with

but like, he’s spent centuries doing that, eventually shit would go down. and it does. i firmly believe that one of his lovers got caught and got the death penalty. magnus managed to escape but couldn’t save him, and i mean, that’s at least the third time he’s blaming himself for someone’s death. immortality is tiring, and he doesn’t feel like he belongs anywhere. there’s the shadow world, but even there he’s being looked down on because the shadowhunters are racist assholes. he’s got his friends, sure, but he’s never really felt worthy of any love, or like he belonged anywhere, and he’s been through so much abuse and being used and everything he touches seems to go to shit and he’s tired. and he’s killed someone he loved. again. so he goes to the bridge. and camille finds him, and stops him.

now, i don’t know if that’s how they’ve met of if it’s happened before, something like, seeing each other in parties and in downworlder spaces or something. but either way, he’s at a really low point, and that’s the first meaningful interaction they have - camille saves his life. he feels like she cares.

she’s not the only one who cares, obviously. so does ragnor, so does cat, so does dot and lots of other of his friends. but at this point, he’s feeling so empty it’s hard to believe that they care, and camille is all too quick to figure out his exact weaknesses - she’s there to listen to him when he wants to kill himself, i can only imagine the infodump that went on that night. he gives her all she needs to know - his fear of abandonment, his desire to be loved, his belief that he will never be accepted no matter what, his fear that he really is evil inside after all despite everything proving that he isn’t - to use against him perfectly. camille is smart. she’s also manipulative. and she also seems like a ticket into a somewhat normal world - she’s a woman, she’s immortal, she’s acting all sweet around him and telling him that she understands, that this is why she doesn’t mingle with mundanes, that it’s better if they’re just amongst themselves, that people like them can’t trust too much and need to stick together. slowly, she plants into him the idea that he’s gullible, has a weak judgement, and is just weak in general for going around thinking he could ever have a thing with mortals or could ever find a space to belong. she uses that to drive him away from his friends and make sure he does as she says. also, magnus owes her, doesn’t he? she saved his life. how can he fight her, when she saved his life? how can he say no to her? how can he disagree? he’s gullible, he’s weak, and she’s the only one who has enough patience for him. everyone else leaves. she’s all he has.

in conclusion: his sexuality is a huge factor in camille’s abuse, it’s what makes him vulnerable to her and gives her every tool she needs to manipulate him. it’s not direct, she’s not about to make fun or dismiss his bisexuality because she knows this is not something he’s internalised, but she can weaponize the trauma that queerphobia brings to his life, and so she does.

she wrecks him. like really really wrecks him, everything he’s built for himself, his identity, whatever he had of his confidence. like he was still trying to build all of that, but he was getting there, and she gets him back to ground 0 just like that. i think he only broke up with her because she started doing her more Clearly Immoral shit and magnus can’t do that. say what you want, but magnus’ actual nature has always been to care and to give all that he can for others. and camille is just evil mcbad. and her abuse goes a long way, but i don’t think anything could actually break magnus enough to be okay with hurting others. especially considering how most of his trauma seems to revolve around the fact that he believes he is constantly hurting others, and it seems to me - considering how he’s going all around the place helping everyone and sacrificing himself without a second thought - that helping others is even a way to cope somewhat, he doesn’t focus on himself, he does his job and helps others and doesn’t think about himself and so he copes, he can do what he’s good at and also believe he’s somehow “repenting” for “killing” his mother and stepfather (it was SELF FUCKING DEFENSE he didn’t murder him, but he does seem to believe he did). so that’s probably when they break up, when he realises that camille is just. keen on hurting others and she’s bored with him and his morals anyway. i know that in book canon apparently the reason they broke up was that she cheated on him, but again i don’t consider book canon and show canon to be the same canon, specially considering how magnus is a wildly different character in those. so i don’t think that would somehow be the last straw for him. camille probably was cheating on him left and right but he probably just believed that it was his fault, or just kept forgiving her anyway because he had nowhere to go and it should be enough that she loves him and saved him, right?

he doesn’t really get around to realising that camille is a straight-up abuser and awful person (as shown by the fact that he seems to still internalise the whole “camille saved my life” bullshit when she was really just manipulating him and using his vulnerability against him) but he does realise that he can’t keep looking for a partner as a solution to his issues. he also doesn’t really want to be in a relationship after her, not when he’s broken in more pieces than he was when he left asmodeus, and that was a lot of pieces as well. so he sleeps around and all, crafts this whole playboy persona of his, and locks his heart away. dedicates himself to the downworlder children he keeps adopting and trying to help, reconnects with ragnor and the other warlocks - who kind of knew what was going on and never blamed him for it or for growing distant with them because they’re amazing and probably have seen this happen many times before.

he also carefully avoids mundane men. he’s not risking getting anyone else hurt.

but then there’s the 60s and 70s, and he’s in bloody new york, and the queer community is shaping itself, and goddamn, after all the hurt and pain he’s seen due to sexuality, he’s not gonna ignore this. also, his Adopting Instincts are way too strong anyway, he can’t really see people struggling and not do anything. so he supports queer spaces, probably made pandemonium one, too - a particularly safe queer space, since she could use his wards to keep police out of his business and ensure everyone’s safety. he definitely was there at stonewall and subsequent protests and parades, keeping people safe, weakening gas bombs and the like with magic, making sure they managed to escape jail.

magnus’ relationship with the mundane queer community is kind of weird, then - he’s not an actual part of it, not really, and he’s particularly scared of getting attached then, so he guards his heart with even more determination than everywhere else. but he still wants to help, so he brings in his money, tries to keep them safe, participates in some community activities and volunteers, and occasionally talks to some kids who were just kicked out of home or something, who are dealing with self-loathing and fear, and even though he hasn’t gone through the whole “my sexuality is unnatural” thing or particularly hated that aspect of himself, he does know what it’s like to be cast away and seen as a monster, and to see himself as uncapable of being loved. so he listens and he talks about his experiences and tries to help as much as he can, and for the most part, he’s successful and he feels kind of accomplished in that sense. he might never have hated himself for his sexuality, but this is the first time he is fully able to bring it into his mundane life. and it also helps him deal with and talk about his other issues, even if he can’t be 100% frank about being an immortal being who does magic and shit, he can connect to these people in a lot of ways, and he also has his own scars brought in by homophobia even if they weren’t internalised in the same way. also, there are names popping up for what people are, homosexuality is being decriminalised all over the world (even in england, he’s heard), things are starting to look up.

as the 80s come up, he knows that a lot of things are changing - that white gay guys are getting more and more space, that the word “bisexual” is being popularised, but also that the reason for that is that a lot of gays and lesbians are trying to get bi ppl out of some spaces, that there’s a division going on between people who want to be seen as palatable and are willing to step over others to get it, and people who refuse to blend into an oppressive society, or just can’t, because they’re trans, they’re people of color, they’re sex workers and homeless and they can never be really assimilated when, even if they’re not getting the death penalty, they’re still getting killed and framed as criminals for existing.

magnus is a person of color as well, he’s bisexual (meaning one of the groups that were being cast away and despised by the white, “clean” gay movement) and he’s been there since the beginning, where these exact people that are being driven away were the only ones building the queer movement, so i think it’s pretty obvious who he “sided” with. not much changed in that aspect, then, since the spaces of queer resistance he was used to were the ones created by the “outcasts”. it was disappointing to see a movement that seemed so amazing at first get slowly gentrified and push the most vulnerable people away again, but at this point, he was used to seeing the divide, to drawing the short end, and at least he could continue as he was and try and help people, right? so life was good as a whole.

then the AIDS crisis happened, and shit that was SO rough. people were dying left and right, they had nowhere to go and there was so little he could do. of course he tried his best - pandemonium, like many other similar clubs, was definitely raising money to help the victims, and he was definitely volunteering to help them, along with catarina (who’s better at healing than he is, anyway), but even healing magic isn’t as simple as “begone, disease” and this was a completely new thing, anyway. there was little they could do beyond try and lessen the pain and symptoms and spend countless nights awake doing research and trying to figure out what exactly was causing this and what they could do to help and try to cure it. it’s endlessly frustrating and he gets to see a lot of people he knew, and talked to, and helped, die slowly while he was unable to do much, and shit is that a theme on his life. he also blames himself for not being able to work out a cure - what good is fucking magic if he can’t do this? - even if he and cat do figure out ways to help, at least. but they’re just two people and creating spells isn’t easy and it’s not like their patients have a lot of time, and also he needs to sleep, as cat and dot keep reminding him. the mundanes beat him to it, and for a while he can breathe again. but then there has been so much loss and death the community is in shambles and they’ve been set back one hell of a lot, and magnus is so tired. his friends help him, reassure him that it’s not his fault, and he’s okay, because he’s stronger now, he’s been getting better during all these years and a part of him is used to it - it never hurts less, but it does get easier to push through.

and then, well, there’s the whole war against valentine thing, and then the accords, so i think for a while magnus was kind of not very involved with the mundane world, and also this is already WAY to long to get into the 2000s and shit, but i will finish by saying that maybe after a few years magnus might get somewhat involved with the community again, because i just. really like the idea of magnus joining some kind of group of bisexual men and learning that SO MANY of them have gone through abusive experiences with straight girls that are scarily similar to his experience with camille, considering, you know, all the other layers involved and the fact that it happened centuries ago. and it kind of works as group therapy, and magnus finally realises that what he went through with camille was abuse, and that he’s not alone, and that queerphobia made him vulnerable, and that the fact that he is part of so many minorities can mean that, rather than not belonging anywhere, he belongs in many places and many different spaces, and he’s helped so many people in so many different ways. and then he finds out that there are other warlocks who are working as therapists and in there he can talk about his immortality issues and, well, other issues and he starts healing faster than before - he’s been healing ever since the breakup with camille, of course, otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to open up to alec. like, of course, alec and him are soulmates and shit, but if he wasn’t in a better place he wouldn’t have allowed himself to fall for him like he did. and. yeah. magnus doing therapy and getting better and finding groups where he feels like he belongs, and realising camille was an abuser, please.

#ask #cosmicnovia #luxxmagnus #sh #shadowhunters #meta #magnus bane #magnus bane meta #history tag #queer history #sh meta #overflowing trashcan

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