#THIS GIVES ME GAY PANIC AND IM A FUCKING LESBIAN?? I THINK?

[ellies1luvr]

dealer!ellie x reader

(head cannons)

based on the song daddy issues by the neighborhood

A/n: Im writing this on my notes app, have never written before but i fear if i don’t write this it will never be written😅 currently going though a situation ship and im very touched starved so that is wear this is coming from‼️

Idc if minors read

please give me feedback even if its not the nicest it is really appreciated!!

TW: erm lesbians, reader having daddy issues, casual by chappell roan mentioned, crying, panic attacks, anxiety, reader sits on ellies lap, weed, lmk if i missed anything!! no use of y/n‼️

Dealer Ellie who met you at a party having panic attack

Dealer Ellie who brought you back to a random couch at the frat party and gave you free weed to calm you down while having a meaningful conversations

Dealer ellie who drove you home and got your phone number

Now anytime you have a panic attack or anything close to one, you call ellie and she comes over with free weed/ holds your hand and comforts you the whole time

“hey pretty girl” “there you go pretty”

when you smoke to much shes there to ground you

“its okay baby i got you, your safe with me”

Soon after you both catch feelings, not telling each other because you don’t want to ruin whats going on.

You call ellie one afternoon asking if she can come over, shes really busy but you dont need to know that and comes over.

you both end up confessing your feelings and make out on the couch, soon you both fall asleep in each others arms

by the end of that night you and ellie are bound by the hip (i think thats how the saying goes?? idk) ellie always with you in someway or some form.

Ellie soon finds out about your attachment issues and fear shes gonna leave you in some way, (hints daddy issues😅) but that fear is soon subsided by ellie and her always with and doting on you

at the beginning of you and ellies relationship, you tried not to get too comfortable but as soon as you do, you are clinging to ellie all the time.

(deals, in classes, restaurants, idk but always touching ellie and ellie always with or touching you in some way)

Getting with ellie didnt stop all your panic attacks or anxiety, when bad panic attacks would happen you would sit on ellies lap with a tv show playing in the background, ellie lighting a blunt, lightly placing it between your lips watching you inhale and exhale

Dealer ellie making that collage dealer bank, would take you shopping all the time.

no matter what your style, hyperfem, on the masculine side, or neither she would spoil the hell out of you.

You and ellie dont have sex untill about a month into the relationship, deciding to take it slow

You and ellie rarely ever got in fights, (you being sensitive also hints daddy issues😅) would cry when ellie raised her voice at you, not trying to be manipulative in the way that anytime you two get in disagreements you cry, but when she would yell, yes.

“ellie that girl was flirting with you i saw it”

“babe no she wasnt”

“ellie please just stop dealing to her”

“babe its my fucking job to deal what do you expect for a dealer in a collage campus not to get hit on?!”

when she heard sniffles her heart immediately dropped realizing that she yelled.

safe to say that girl never got another ounce of weed from ellie again.

i feel like all of ellies past relationships were just “casual” but with you it was very different!

Red wine supernova by chappell roan is definitely her favorite song on rise and fall of a midwest princess (but she relates to casual 😅 the most)

The first time she took you to meet joel you cried bc your dad cut you off once he found out you were gay , and especially not a dad like joel

one time when you amd ellie once woke up early enough to make breakfast before classes, you started a playlist on you phone

Naked in manhattan by chappell roan started playing, you started dancing and ellie soon followed hugging you from behind kissing your neck

Suggestive

at party’s when ellies dealing, you would always be perched on her lap, facing ellie, counting her freckles

Ellie being ellie is horny when shes high, you being you are emotional when high but that doesnt stop yall from having heated moments when both of yall are high.

i feel like ellie would have Lunch by billie eilish playing when shes high and that always leads to a long (fun) night

thanks for reading dykes‼️

[our-aroace-experience]

i have a sticker on my phone thats says "im gay! Thats ok!" & my (ally) grandma who sees me daily only just saw this a couple days ago??

Anyway now she keeps trying to hang out but i just dont want to cause 1 itd be awkward cause i think *think* she told anyone, 2 its been a long week for multiple reasons. I just wanna chill w/ my dad cause i only see him on weekends & i dont want to do anything else rn but ~chill~. And ontop of that she prob thinks im a lesbian- I'm a transmasc aroace w/ tertiary attraction. So thats 1 way off, 2 giving me dysphoria for the 1st time in forever which im not used to cause i generally just dont care 3 MAKES ME REALLY UNCOMFY thinking that my grandma is thinking about my non-existant love life.

On top of that fuck to the no on coming out as trans lol, both parents have said transphobic things, I dont wanna deal w/ that rn, & i doubt they'd like, kick me out but but still; fuck no. And i dont wanna have to deal with the aroace shit. Both my parents prob know im genrally queer but i dont want to have to explain the aroace stuff just cause we dont talk like that & it'd be awkward.

I care about them but im trying to get to the point where i dont, like i cared about my grandma for a few days, & i do cause she has ALL THE CARDS IN THIS SITUATION. but hers & anyone elses opinions on me as a person? About 90% of the time i couldnt care less cause why care?? Or at least i convince myself not to care cause its too much trouble having a 5 hour long panic attack (me the other day lol)

Anyway that was my rant thank you so much if u read this all sorry if its incoherent its pretty fresh

i'm so sorry that's a terrible situation! i hope it's all worked out for the best! you never have to come out if you don't want!

[fraudulent-cheese]

heatherra, dashawn, scottney

Ok dang, three interesting ones! Im gonna do these in the ship ask game format because fuck it we ball

Heatherra - don't ship it

Why don’t you ship it? IM SO SORRY I TRIEDDD MAN I TRIED SO HARDD i know about the fuckin "boyfriends come and go but girlfriends are forever" line and the idea of Sierra going from not liking her at all to being Heather's ultimate supporter is a neat idea but it just. Never clicked. That and the content about them doesn't tend to grab me. (doesn't help that i haven't watched WT yet and i don't have the time or motivation to commit to a full watch)

What would have made you like it? Idfk!!! Alot of Heather ships just don't click with me in general (like i either prefer them as friends or just. don't fucking get it), and canon Sierra is. a problem. give her therapy and then i'll consider it

also uhh im attached to the aroace Heather + aro Sierra headcanons too much oops

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it? I actually see where you guys are coming from at least! The fanart's great and they definitly work for me in some cases.

Dashawn - ship it

What made you ship it? I'll be real, @noahtally-famous's fics about these boys did. I love how they write them!!! They both have issues and are pretty opposite and their relationship 100% needs major amounts of compromise to work but damn they'd be cute i think

What are your favorite things about the ship? As i said, the opposites attract aspect here is pretty strong; Shawn is a survivalist who can hop from tree to tree, Dave looks like he spends 2 hours at most in the sun. Shawn could probably dive into a dumpster and be completely fine afterwards, Dave has a panic attack about grease on his hands. They do have some things in common: namely that they're both really weird. Only one is aware of it. Pretty funny to me.

Dave could probably calm Shawn down if he's panicking about zombies and Shawn can wash the dishes for Dave in return :D

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? There are like 5 shippers i don't even know people's general opinion on this ship??? so instead just have this image because i think it's cute

Scottney - Don't ship it

Why don’t you ship it? I'll be real, it's just because i only like them as like. Fun stupid drama. That fucking clip of Scott eating dirt and asking if Courtney would cheat on him is peak comedy to me. comic relief straights. (it's a lesbian and a gay man)

What would have made you like it? Uhhhh nothing? lmao i already like them i just don't ship them haha

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it? They're really funny to me. Honestly this template's biggest issue is that it assumes you don't like the ship at all if you don't ship it lmao

[wndaswife]

heey, we never interacted but i really like you as person and u pass me such a comfy vibe like😭 and i really need to vent or else im going insane-

uhhhh im a little lesbian of 20y and in uni, fine. and a curiosity abt my uni: since its a private one, my department gets the same teachers since the 1st year of undergrad which is cool bc they really track our development there BUT i have this teacher (really. really beautiful btw.) who gives biology, cognition, neuropsychology and forensics psychology and she’s also a hard one…her classes are only for those who pay attention, she’s super demanding and a black cat energy (she literally gives nooooooo fucks to anyone). so OFC i had to develop a little crush on her🤠 anywayss months passed, im on my 2nd year now and she still has this HORRIBLE (but i love it) habit of looking at a person’s eyes when explaining something and she really STARES so i was always **giggles and laufs**, but this year i fell into a depressive episode so i stopped going to classes (including hers), i stopped going to her orientation classes and so one day my friend said “she’s worried abt you and she asked me to tell u that she wants an email from u to agree on a time and day to talk to her personally”. i thought i was fucked honestly, but we eventually agreed on a time at her office and turns out the convo was actually nice (i cried my eyes out while she said how worried she was abt me).

after that she was more touchy with me? like when she talked to me after class she always grabbed my arm or put her hand on my shoulder or she talked to me SUPER close AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO THINK specially bc she herself said “if u were a student who didn’t care abt my classes it’d be totally different, but you’re not. i care about you” BUT BRO??? i NEVER saw her act that way with other students, also she doesn’t ask anyone to come to her office-

(i actually thought she hated me bc a while ago she spent MONTHS ignoring my existence💀)

omg this is so funny u say this... one of my best friends always says i give comfort vibes like when im over i always make his place feel really comforting... that's so weird i wonder how it's possible i give the same vibes online.. but anyways im actually really glad that's the kind of vibe i give, cuz i also love this vibe!!! comfort and comforting things are really important to me

that's so cute... also first of all for you, that means you are such an attentive student and so hardworking for her to pay so much attention to you, so look at you you little academic star!!!!! you little academic you!!!! you little academia student you!!! so that's good for you

also that's so sweet of her... comforting older women <3 tbh the last thing i need rn is an irl older woman obsession like that shit always has me so down bad with a twinge of mommy complex LMFAO like i need that bus girl i mentioned before many eons ago (im trying again next semester cuz im a HARD WORKER)... but this aint about me... that's so good for you and that's so sweet of her <3

if you want to deepen a connection you should talk more about the subject, get her to recommend some interesting things for you to research and study and books to read, so she can start talking to you about things she likes on a personal level, and also this builds off of a good reputation you already have of being an attentive student who is interested in the class!! and ofc she sees you this way already as she has mentioned it

even if platonic (tho the gay panic is so real either way) a good connection with a professor you look up to within a topic you're interested in is a very good connection to have, you will always get something good from it

[stemmmm]

my thoughts on harvest moon games at present:

SNES: playing currently GB: my white whale. borrowed it from a friend when I was 7 and my mom made me share my games with my little cousin who fucked up my friend's allegedly completed save file, so i never got to borrow her games anymore. might as well be unplayed GB2-3: unplayed 64: the best one Back to Nature: unplayed Save the Homeland: unplayed but im scared of this one Friends of Mineral Town: had a vivid dream christmas night when i was 9 that I got this game as a loose gba cartridge that was lost in the wrapping garbage and I tore through the trash for it the next day, then got it for my 10th birthday and played it instead of playing with my friends and got in trouble. anyways the game's fine. had the girl version A Wonderful Life: unplayed. i've seen gameplay and it looks like my nightmares so im excited for the remake to not look like that DS: made me realize im not into men. hacked it because the marriage requirements were absolute bullshit, even though i had the girl version and hated every bachelor so i picked the one that would give me the baby in colors i liked more. learned how to google game info with this one and was furious that the american version took the lesbian "best friends" out so i couldn't be gay with the mermaid Magical Melody: tried to play but need to try harder because horrible feeling controls cannot stop me from marrying jamie and immediately being locked out of the game because it panics and realizes they dont have a gender (favorite HM lore by far) Island of Happiness through Trio of Towns: unplayed Mineral town remake: the few QOL features cannot make up for the fact that they took out rival romances--the best thing HM games had going for them Pioneers of Olive Town: i have some choice words to say about this game but i'd need a little refresher before i said them because i played this game in a binge during a 1 week free trial where instead of giving a demo, they let me download the whole game and go hog wild so as far as I feel, i might as well have beat the game because it didn't seem like much was left. some deranged decisions in this one

EDIT I FORGOT THE RUNE FACTORY GAMES they count by nature of using harvest moon in the taglines and i think theyre the same publisher if not the same dev

RF1: didn't beat but watched a friend beat and decided i was satisfied with that and stopped playing after hours of trying to tame the mermaid boss with the monster glove RF2: insane that they put the dating sim portion of the game as a prerequisite to the actual game portion of it. so i had a kid and then instead of ever even once entering the dungeons i played the multiplayer minigames endlessly and became richer than god before i put the game down unbeaten the wii one (frontier?): dope looking game, shame that it's unplayable all others: unplayed. will likely never play them bc the screenshots of the way your farm looks on google make me want to vom

[jiabeewrites]

yeah yeah, i know im so extremely late to the atla party but it's pride month and i have THOUGHTS

by thoughts i mean headcanons

THIS HAS BEEN CLEANED UP AND EDITED. You can find that post here!

so like i've seen a shit ton of kataang shit?? and?? fuck that right now?? because i'm pretty sure that aang is aroace.

mhm

this tiny monkey boy is AROMANTIC ASEXUAL

he just. how the fuck. does he apparently end with katara.

no sense? make no sense?

cisn't

i just

he gives me. so many.

bigender vibes

and literally glows whenever someone calls him by non he/him

because yeah he doesn't really give a fuck about pronouns

but

he's acknowledged! he's not weird!

katara's prob the first person he told

speaking of

katara is such a lesbian

jebus crysed

like

yes, ik that she's been put into romantical situationships with dudes

too fucking bad

she really does seem like a cottagecore (watercore?) lesbian

SHE IS FOR THE GIRLIES ONLY BYE NOW

oh and cis, doesn't care about pronouns

but if asked will say she

now for sokka

my friend said that he was the straightest one there

I DISAGREE

he seems like a disaster bi to me

extra heapings of internalized homophobia

bc he thinks it makes him less manly

i am currently wanting him to get smacked in the face with gay panic when he sees zuko, and like i mean get an ACTUAL GOOD LOOK AT HIM

i wanna see this mans with gae panic

cisn't, feel like he's demimasc

he/they

kk so i haven't seen as many zuko centered eps yet

howevers

i am getting MASSIVE ace vibes from him

like

massive

mebbe demiromantic too

pretty sure he's hetero tho so that kinda makes me sad

cis(n't). probably doesn't care enough to figure it out

his sister. i havent seen a lot of her...

but i am CERTAIN that azula is a complete lesbian

she is. just. SO GAY

but like in the aroallo way

ok yes

ik that this seems bad

but. hey

i feel like she is very aromantic

but also

isn't completely against sex

idk

cis.

also i've only seen ty lee and mai once

but they are both lesbians

ty is prob pangender

mai is enby but won't say anything about it

i will update/rewrite/clean this up this once i have finished watching

will probably only take me the rest of the week

[nerd-at-sea5]

the last s2 chaos dump post. spoilers ahead

also i think i just lost my shit while watching this ep

oh all of his joy is abt to go away SO FAST

FUCK WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY????

LOTTIE BABES PUT DOWN THE POISON-

shauna. shauna. SHAUNA.

van tai nat the judge-y lesbians of all time <333

yeah lisa's dying.

TAISSA'S LITTLE THUMBS UP IM DYING I LOVE HER SO MUCH

hate to say it but misty's right lottie pls get some therapy

nat defending her wife (kinda?)

'we got over it' *taissa's head tilt* oh nat honey none of you got over it

oh my god the look of terror when misty tells lottie nat drew the queen

MISTY STOP FUCKING SMILING WTAF

SHE NEVER WANTED THIS!! THEIR MAKING A GOD OUT OF A GIRL WHO DOSEN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT SHE'S DOING!! AAAAA

ok technically shauna started the cannibalism

nat....MISTY STOP LYING WTF OH TAIVAN :))

#letnataliescatorcciodecksomeone1996

ok no give him time to greive.

....at least their taking off his clothes first?

thank you natalie

HAND SHAKING HAND SHAKING. REMORSE OR WANT???

do not. do this. while fucking. blindfolded.

and after all of it, van is still squimish about blood....gonna sob

van is making some painfully good points rn

she's dulling down the knifes...SCRATCHED OUT EYES.

jeff YOU are on tv...callie's facial expressions alone i love her-LMFAO SHE KNOWS EXACTLY WHERE THE GUN IS-

KILL THE CREEPY COP!! LET THE WILDERNESS DECIDE IT.

nat's trying to protect lisa....she's so dead!!! oh my god nat and lisa im gonna s o b

BEN BAD FUCKING TIMING ALSO GOOD GOD THATS A LOT OF BLOOD-

he wants to go with her because he think she's not like them but she wont let herself go with because she thinks SHES WORSE.

van's minor case of insanity should not be as hot as it is.

ok she's phrasing it weirdly but she has a point

walter's gonna kill kevyn.

HAHA I KNEW IT

'are you one of the cult people' 'no i'm from the shire'

HA JEFFREY.

his heart is so small....OH SWEET FUCKING LORD.

yeah ok ive gotta fast forward that. DUDE IT WAS RAW.

misty i'm rlly not liking you rn

van just kicking the fire ily

FUCK CALLIE NO RUN. OH SHE HAS A GUN. SHOOT HIM.

vannnnnnnnn OH she wants to die-nvm.

it's gonna be nat i stfg and im gonna die

this gives me to much anxiety oh good god. lottie??

NO NOT AGAIN.

SHAUNA????????????

fucking hell.

WALTER KILL HIM.

CALLIE SADECKI GODDAMN

'it was vans idea' *the face of bitch pls*

AYE VAN PRINCESS BRIDE NERD CANON.

ben?

oh lottie-wait i wanna hear van's story....

it's van or nat. nvm it's nat. CALLED IT.

FUCK NATALIE OK-

lottienat pls makeout NOW challange. BOTH timelines.

IM SO SORRY NAT BABE THAT IS THE FACE OF GAY PANIC

ben watching like: i do not understand lesbians, also. i want to die.

nat you want to kiss her so bad, ur also having a midlife crisis at 17

omfg akilah's little curtsy and the way she and nat smile at each other

misty it was cute but the way ur looking at her makes me think you want to kill her

fuck. damnit lisa.

misty if you do this i will forever hate you.

SHIT NAT'S DYING-

yep. misty i hate you. idgaf if it was an accident.

JAVI??

just when she wanted to live. SHES NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE.

pls tell me shes got like a tolerance to this stuff?? pls.

SHIT HELLO SOPHIE THATCHER.

IM SHAKING OH MY GOD

'this is exactly where we belong' no, no you deserve to live you just haven't realized it yet.

LOTTIE?!?!!? IM HAVING A FUCKING STROKE

jesus the way she's smiling at her. she just wants to help!!

fuck she's actually dead.

i am so fucking furious right now.

god van's entire face is just 'it's supposed to be me.'

FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WAHT THE FUCK BEN WHAT THE FUCK IT WAS BEN

van palmer i should not find this hot.

VAN GET THE FUCK OUT

hey at least their warm now right

[bellqmione]

ilove watermelon i wish it was summer for me but instead i get . really weird winter.that doesnt even snow. but im good!! the candle wax still feels like its there and i hate it but asides from that im good!! also can you tell me about like. idk. lesbians fron your shows or something

oh damn that candle wax is crazy 😭

and yeah omg ALWAYS okay so. ive talked about choni enough these past few days its time i tell you about sanvers

okay so. the show is called supergirl. its like. supermans cousin. horrible show, ridiculous budget, but sanvers are so <3

so. supergirl, her name is kara, comes to earth as a teen & gets adopted into this super smart scientist family. and she has a big sister, alex! alex is good at everything, shes smart, shes cool, kara admires her and wants to be like her sooo bad.

they love each other to death & see each other a lot as they grow up. ljke theyre each others safety person.

kara grows up with powers the earth sun gives her, but ditches that "not normal" part of her and becomes cat grant's assistant. cat grant is this real "devil wears prada" rich arrogant business woman who owns ljke a . magazine. and kara works for her!

alex, smart beautiful gorgeous funny sweet alex, works for the fbi. we THINK! and kara thinks it too!

until alex is on a plane and its ATTACKED because shes not an fbi agent at all, she works for this super underground mysterious paranormal investigation type agency.

so kara sees this on the news and she thinks "fuck it, i have to save my sister"

and she saves the plane and alex's real job is revealed and wtv wyv wtv. thats the pilot.

then a bunch of stuff happens and then s2 happens—maggie, this...special cop appears. and she's investigating the same stuff as alex. and alex and her fight, and they HATE each other, until maggie is kidnapped by some alien villain and kara and alex save her.

maggie and alex start getting drinks at this underground alien bar and maggie tells her about her ex gf, whos an alien, and all alex hears is "gf"

and she slowly starts realizing that oh. ohhh. ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

and then. she asks maggie to like. go to a bar with her after maggie got dumped. and maggie's like "🤨 i didnt know you were gay"

and alex panics and says "im-im not" in the most unconvincing tone ever

and maggie says "you'd be surprised how many gay women i've heard that from"

and alex. straight up runs off. like just. walks away 😭 shes a disaster lesbian and i love her for it

then she waits a few days. thinks about if. and goes to maggie's regular bar and meets her there. and she has this BEAUTIFUL monologue about she's always had to be the perfect sister for kara wait ill just.

"my whole life...has been about being perfect. perfect grades, perfect job, perfect sister, taking care of kara...but the one part of my life that i've never been able to make perfect...was dating. i just never really liked it, i mean i tried! i-you know, i got asked out! but i never liked...being intimate. i thought maybe that's just not the way that i was built! you know, it's just not my thing. i never thought it could be because of that other..."

and then she trails off. and maggie sits there, in AWE. shes so done for. theyre so gone for each other. i should stop now but um yes i hope u enjoyed :>

[safebubblebycyg]

things draco malfoy probably said to pansy:

"why are his eyes so green?"

"hey, what would happen if voldywart gave himself another dark mark on the other arm?"

"do i look good in green or like a bag of spinach?"

"my dad probably hides secrets in his hair"

"its monday right? great, mental breakdown monday."

"if i drank amortentia that i brewed, would i just find myself unbelievably hot?"

"i think id be a good healer...id like to patch up the wounds that have been caused by evil. in spite of my dad"

"you think potter knows how to do pottery?"

"my mom once made mashed potatoes for dinner and my dad took one bite and told her he could taste the wizard magic as opposed to elf"

"what do you think would happen if i drank amortentia and felix felicis at the same time?"

"have you ever seen a thestral? they're only visible to those who have witnessed death. yes, pansy, ive watched people die. it happens when your father is a fan of moldymort"

"fuck the ministry, i want a pet dragon"

"weasley's family isnt actually that bad, once you think about it. they're actually rather pleasant once you get past the freakishly kind nature of them all"

"are parents supposed to hug you goodbye?"

"harry's cute, no homo"

"I GOT A HIGHER SCORE THAN HERMIONE IN POTIONS, HELL YEAH"

"what if we kissed? no hetero, but what if?"

"i think im accidentally in love with potter"

"i watched grease drip off of snapes hair and into a potion once"

"did you know that im related to sirius black? yeah, hes kinda my icon now"

"have you ever seen a muggle sports car? i want one."

"boys are hot, girls are not, and im just a thot"

"pansy, darling, please, im a raging homosexual"

"IM SO GAY FOR POTTER, IM NOT OKAY WITH THIS"

"this isnt fair, give me three valid reasons why i cant jump off the astronomy tower"

"blaise caught me singing in the shower and now im more insecure than usual"

"i want to dance around in the dark with someone"

"want to try swimming with the giant squid?"

"i wish i was a merman"

"what do you mean by 'he clearly likes you back, you pouf'? hOw loNg hAs hE liKeD mE bAcK?"

"so, after a solid shag in the astronomy tower, we're now boyfriends"

"ew, pansy, im not wearing yellow! itll completely clash with my complexion!"

"girl weasley wont stop glaring at me, should i turn her toes into mice or her boobs into parrots?"

"i can't, im gay"

"what if our knees and elbows switched?"

"what the flying fuck is pokemon?!?!??!??"

"HARRY BOUGHT ME LINGERIE AS A JOKE BUT IT FITS AND IM NOT SURE IF I LOOK DUMB OR CUTE AS SHIT"

"so, in theory, if crabbe and goyle suddenly turned into ducks that chase gryffindors around the school, who do you think would suspect it was me?"

"i wanna cuddle with harry but hes at quidditch practice, guess ill avada kedavra myself"

"ew, heteros"

"you're such a lesbian for granger, just go talk to her"

"PANSY, PANSY!!! HE HAS A SIX PACK, I REPEAT, HE HAS A SIX PACK"

"have you ever seen a muggle movie? youd like Mean Girls"

"im literally so fucking angry about nothing, wanna go set something on fire?"

"what do you mean you made a swear jar-"

"i should become a teacher so i can tell kids that my husband is the chosen one and that he'll send moldevorts wrath upon them if they dont complete their homework"

"i hate being rich, blaise asked me to buy him a life size statue of him made of chocolate because i should 'spend my money on something worth looking at'"

"harry gavE ME A HICKEY AND SNAPE SAW AND NOW IM IN FULL GAY PANIC MODE"

"ugh, i hate defense, im not answering on what my boggart is"

"what if i joined a band?"

"how many galleons do you wanna bet that blaise will admit to ron that he has a crush on him?"

"I HATE IT HERE, MCGONAGALL CAUGHT HARRY AND I SNOGGING AND LET US OFF BECAUSE SHE WON A BET ABOUT WHO WOULD FIND US SNOGGING FIRST"

OKAY THATS ALL, JUST THOUGHT I WOULD SHARE DRACOS CHAOTIC GAY CONVOS

[sleepypocketsock]

Omori fandom i have made a BIG BRAIN fic idea and everyone needs to look at it

OKOKOK so picture this:

~KARAOKE FIC~

- post game in Omori, relationships between the gang have gotten better and everyone has now forgiven Sunny and Basil by now (and they all go to therapy now, its essential)

- Kel has decided to drag the group along to a karaoke place in the city Sunny lives in

- yknow what? ill be nice and say that the Hooligans joined as well. There isnt enough content of them, its a damn shame 

-  Almost everyone decides to have a go at singing one song! Kel is,,,uh,,,,ok at it to put at it lightly, Aubrey is pretty good at singing! Kim ends up going heart eyes at that despite the fact they’ve been dating for months (theyre lesbians Dave you cant convince me otherwise) Basil has a soft voice when singing and everyone loves to see it, and everyone overall has a good time!!

- there are Kel and Aubrey bickering moments, there HAS to be 

- then you have Sunny, who no one really expected him to sing which was fine by them! But woah! Sunny is going for it? and Kel ends up creating a betting pool to see how good Sunny’s singing skills are while Sunny is away to grab a drink, Hero’s hosting it with reluctance bc “we shouldnt do things like this but it’ll be interesting to see how this goes.

- Sunny is a SURPRISINGLY REALLY GOOD singer despite that fact you hardly hear him talk at all, it secretly came w the violin practices bc he genuinely wanted to (hc’s go brrrr)

- nobody knows this  only mari did, add that to the Things Sunny Repressed 

-  So imagine the fucking sheer AWE AND SURPRISE that the gang gets when Sunny ends up BELTING IT OUT in the most beautiful voice they’ve ever fucking heard, what the fuck????

- He’s singing  first love / late spring by Mitski and is KILLING IT don’t think too hard about the song choice just imagine that I thought that Sunny would listen to her music & NOT because the other song choices i had written weren’t that good to pick

- everyone is speechless. Kel and/or Basil are having a Gay Panic Attack™(havent decided yet but Sunny has two [2] hands), Aubrey has gained more respect for Sunny (’he sings? and has good taste? respect’), Hero is the equivalent to the Surprised Pikachu meme,and The Hooligans go :O during the entirety of the song

- then Sunny finishes, looks up with an embarrassed look on his face and quietly goes: “...how did i do? i haven’t practiced singing in awhile...” and everyone collectively goes “YOU CAN FUCKING SING??? HOLY SHIT THAT WAS AMAZING!!” in varying intensities

- Hero goes all Big Brother Mode and give Sunny a little head pat

- Aubrey looks at him dead in the eye and nods, Sunny nods back. they are Communicating. No one knows what.

- Kel being Kel hypes him up about his skills n shit

- Basil smiles and says his voice sounds like an angel (cue blushy blushy moments lmao) 

- The fic ends with “man i cant believe i lost the bet! i was so sure that he would be bad at it..” and Sunny goes “YOU PLACED BETS?????? O-o” 

- Basil won the bet

i would write this but i dont have an ao3 account and my writing skills are ok at best ;-; but if im ever in a ‘fuck it’ mood theres a MIGHT be a chance i will write/draw this shit out

tho ppl are free to make a fic outta this! i might reblog this again w more thoughts about it later

[retroellie]

Dating Ellie Williams Headcannons

Summary: Headcannons for dating ellie 

A/N: Have this because my last imagine was ass... I think i like writing headcannons way more than imagines lmao 

Warning: TLOU2 spoilers, Mentions of death, PTSD, and NSFW/dirty talk 

Word Count: 1.8k 

- She fell in love with you when she first saw you 

- She had just come to Jackson after the incident with the fireflies 

- You being around the same age as her tommy asked you to show her around and tell her what’s what

- “Ellie this is Y/n, Y/n this is ellie.” Tommy introduced y’all 

-Her heart stopped when she saw you, she couldn’t help the blush that was forming. 

-She couldn’t stop looking at you when you were talking about the shops and sights around Jackson 

- It seemed like you were liked around town, you were friendly to everyone and everyone knew who you were

- She will never forget the thing you said to her when you guys were in front of her new home 

-”Tommy told me a lot about you and i just want you to know, you're safe now.” 

-She felt for the first time she could let go, relax for a minute 

-You helped her move into the garage, trying to make her as comfortable as she could be 

- She wrote about you a lot in her journal, writing poems and drawing pictures of you 

-You guys hung out a lot with Jesse and Dina but she would much rather hang out with you alone 

-You two had become really good friends by the time you guys were 16, i mean Ellie opened up to you more than she did anyone 

-Opening up meaning talking about her interests and some of her favorite childhood memories 

-She was honestly too scared to tell you about her immunity and even more scared to tell you about her past, afraid that she was gonna scare you away 

-You introduced her to cat and you definitely regretted it because cat liked her 

-When they started dating cat was definitely the third wheel because you and Ellie were so closer

-You held Ellies hand when she got her tattoo, she couldn’t hide the blush than but blamed it on the pain 

-You guys shared the same love for music, you showed her most of the music she listened to 

-You would sleep over at her place a lot 

-You guys would watch movies, talk about space and dance horribly to old music 

-Y’all could never get bored of each other

-When you spent the night at her place you would sleep in her bed with her but it was as friends, Ellie didn’t want you sleep on the floor and you didn’t want to force her out of her own bed  

-Ellie would always get so embarrassed when you slept over, she would always go into a gay panic 

-By the time y’all were 18, she was head over heels for you 

-You two were still best friends but her feelings got in the way  so she was distant 

-It got to the point where she didn’t want to be with anyone else, it was either you or no one 

-She didn’t really have time for relationships so she didn’t really mind it 

-She would play guitar for you when you came over, even attempting to teach you 

-Everything she owned was yours and everything you owned was hers 

-”God damn it, where is my Walkman” 

-”Oh, I took it. Mine broke.” 

-Ellie bashed on everyone you liked, Little did she know you liked her 

- You liked the boy who worked at the bar? She had something to say about him 

-You found out she liked you when you two were dancing one night 

-Your arms were wrapped around her neck and hers around your waist, it was like a scene from a movie 

-You both felt the tension, it made the butterflies in your stomach go crazy 

-”I’m just a girl.... not a threat.” 

-”Oh ellie... I think they should be terrified of you.” 

-Next thing you know her lips were on yours 

-The kiss felt like it went on forever until you pulled away, panting for air 

-No words exchanged just a smirk and her pulling you out of the church

-She didn’t waste anytime, She’s been waiting for this moment 

-Now that you guys were together, you guys were too powerful 

-You guys spent a lot of time in her garage, i swear you basically lived there 

-You guys could spend hours tangled up together or have heated make out sessions that lead to so much more 

-Soft kisses and 80s movies 

-endless sex i swear this woman is going to be the death of me 

-I have said this before but this girl is always horny, i mean she still has raging hormones  so she’s always on top of you 

-She tries to highlight her tattoo when pleasuring you because she knows it drives you crazy 

-She loves when you sit in her lap, it’s both cute and hella sexy to her

-Her kisses make you lightheaded, like you gotta sit down for a minute after she kisses you 

-She finds your body fascinating, like it sounds cringey but she love everything about you body 

-She likes to explore your body a lot, like what gets the best reaction out of you 

-She’s kinda new to sex, she’s had a fling or two but nothing long term so now she really has to get this shit down

-She’s the top, i said what i said 

-Joel has walked in on you two lots of times 

-”Hey elli... OH FUCK. SORRY, I’m sorry.” He says while covering his eyes 

-You both have to stop for a minute just to laugh your asses off 

-Y’all were really loud too so like y’all got complaints a lot 

-”Sorry, Y/n came over for a minute.” Ellie says busting through the door 

-”Yeah i know, i heard y’all.” Joel joked 

-She makes really bad cheesy pick up lines to you 

-”You know I’m jealous of your heart, because it’s pumping in and out of you and I’m not.” 

-”I’m literally gonna break up with you.’ 

-She never fails to make you laugh

-Her with her fucking puns mama, you can’t hide from her silly side

-Joel is a proud dad, he loves his lesbian daughter and her girlfriend 

-Later on into the relationship ellie fully opens up to you 

-You were tracing her tattoo one day, feeling the bumpiness of it 

-”What happened?’ 

-She debated on telling you, Joel said not to tell anyone 

-She gave in through, telling you about riley, her immunity, her and Joel's trip, even David 

-She ended up crying, you’ve never seen her that broken down before 

-You held her most the day, giving her all the kisses she needed 

-When Joel died, you were basically always with her. Not wanting to leave her alone 

-You were the one that found them. You shook ellie awake,  Letting her sob into your shirt 

-You brought her home, she could barely move. She was in so much shock and pain 

-You cleaned her up and took days off of rounds just to lay in bed with her all day 

-The nights were the worst 

-She would wake up in tears, sweat drenched her body. She would bury her face into her chest, crying her eyes out 

-”I saw him. All the blood..” 

-”I know baby, it’s okay. I’m here.” 

-you guys were still so in love with each other at 20, maybe even more if that was possible 

-The trip to Seattle and trying to kill Abby really brought y’all even closer, seeing sides of each other you guys never had 

-The fear and the defeat you both felt on that trip, it made ellie more in love with you that you stayed 

-You two lived in a small farmhouse after the trip to Seattle, it was nice and quiet 

-You lived like two cottagecore lesbians out in the middle of nowhere, it was a good change 

-Ellie would love to paint you with flowers, she found that you and flowers together created a perfect masterpiece 

-Ellie was kinda a city girl so you had to teach her a lot of stuff, you mostly read books about farms because you didn’t have a clue either 

-You guys lived without pants, like no one was there to see y’all, no one to impress so like fuck it, who needs pants 

-Ellie loved waking up to you in the kitchen, with messy hair and nothing but her t-shirt on.... Yes please 

-To save water y’all would take baths together, it mostly always turned into bath sex 

- Ellie was glued to your side, like wherever you went she was there with you 

-She was very distracting, always kissing up your neck or moving your hips on hers 

-I swear this woman was distracting without meaning to be 

-When she was doing farm work and her tattoo would stand out, it made you want to jump on her every single time 

-Sex with her back then  was great but sex with her now was so much better 

-She really matured a lot, she knew what she wanted and just how to do it 

-Your pleasure came first to her, she loved the feeling of being able to pleasure you 

-Don’t worry, you didn’t leave her out. You made sure she felt just as good as you 

-She wasn’t shy so dirty talk was her thing 

-”Just one more time baby, i wanna see you cum on my fingers one more time.” I’m so gross im sorry AHDS

-She would fuck you on literally everything in the house 

-No one was near to hear y’all and y’all could do it anywhere and at anytime, it was fucking heaven for y’all 

-Y’all were together a lot and although ellie loved it, she knew you liked your alone time 

-She would go into her painting room and play guitar or draw, doing anything to keep her busy 

- After a hour or two went by you would come in and sit on her lap, hinting that  you were getting a bit lonely 

-You were always there for her when she went through her attacks, telling her it was going to be okay and you were here with her 

-”Y/N! I- I can’t.. can’t breath.” 

-”Ellie baby, you're okay. just keep taking deep breaths for me, okay?”

-Seeing her like this broke your heart but you were nothing but patient with her,  she was really thankful for that 

-You never talked about joel or even riley, you knew those were sensitive topics so when she did talked about them you listened and allowed her to rant 

-”You know, I think Riley would’ve really liked you.” 

-”You think so?” 

-”Yeah, she would’ve liked your weird taste in music.’ 

-Ellie dreamed about what it would've been like in a normal world

-She could see you two meeting at a movie theater, hitting it off and eventually getting married, Maybe adopting a kid or two

-She was so in love with you, no matter what you looked like or what your body type was. She loved you 

-

-

-

!Credits to gif owner!

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

[dipplie]

Temporary list of my stories and OC’s until one day I make a comprehensive and well made list:

Blinded:

Polli: My oldest OC and fun fact was my persona till she become edgy and I wasn’t 12 anymore. Everyone’s favorite yes yes I’m aware. Yellow, energetic, eats dirt and bugs, I can’t tell if she’s evil because of a wisp possession or just crazy. Breaks the 4th wall. Is she a Mary Sue???????? Who knows.

Melody: NOT Polli’s girlfriend despite Polli’s delousions. Has an abusive mom :(. Only has one eye and then no eyes and then robot eyes or smthn idk she becomes a badass when she gets older. But otherwise trembling in her shoes all the time.

Melodys Mom/Sharren: Bitch. Okay well all I’ll say is she’s old and grumpy and probably smells bad.

Louise: Total hotty, rich kid, FtM, got bullied as a kid for his weight. Had a squad of fans basically in high school. Lived with his mom after his parents got a divorce but his mom was semi abusive, projected her femininity onto him, and wouldn’t have been supportive of his transition, so between middle and high school he went to live with his dad and got his sex change and testosterone. His best friend in elementary and middle school stopped talking to him after his transition, and became his competition for the most attractive and sought after boy in school (except Louise is a sweetheart while his friend Tommy is a dick and really gross) His dad runs a company that specializes in technology, and after meeting and falling in love with Melody (even after all her abusive trauma and losing both her eyes) he has his dad and some of the developers create a way to get her vision back and I mean honestly I love him how could you not love him he’s so perfect.

Watching:

Fick: Big nerd boy with thick glasses. I feel like he’d use Reddit but don’t quote me on that. Big crush on Vivinya. Boy don’t wander into the woods- oh look dead body with a curse on it don’t touch it- aaaand now he has a wisp that makes him kill people, way to go kid. Panic attack central.

Vivinya: True crime girl, yucky yucky. Probably had a knife collection. “uwu I’m insane” except she actually is and starts using Fick to kill people for her and treats him like her “Yandere boyfriend” or something cringe and gross oh god. She deserves jail. JAIL. Needs to learn guys need to give consent too. Just overall sucks 1/10.

Tommy: I mentioned him early to be Louises ex best friend and rival. He used to have a crush on Louise actually but that don’t excuse being a BITCH!!!! Also needs to learn people gotta give consent he is just as gross as Vivinya. Cheats on all the girls he gets with because he’s again, a bitch. Idk if he deserved to get murdered though I mean he was still a teenager but it’s fine. Thinks of the song Seventeen from Heathers actually this story does feel a tad reminiscent of heathers with vivinya being a crazy and wanting to off a bunch of students. Huh.

Suzannie: Tommy’s older sister who’s a detective. What a coincidence. Monotone and depressed. Probably because her little brother got murdered. Gets real awkward when she’s talking about her brothers murder(s) to Fick and Vivinya like “when I find who did this to him they’ll regret being born”. Kind of really pretty actually.

Adolescents (there isn’t actually a story here yet but don’t worry about it shhhh):

Nelson: HIMBO HIMBO H- Jock stupid idiot big dork god he’s so awkward and his main personality trait is having a crush on Naomi and being a dork when talking to her. Probably could benchpress you.

Naomi: Gamer or something and a nerd geek. Her main personality trait is having a crush on Nelson and also being a dork when talking to him. Probably a weeb and fandom dweller. Can’t draw but she commissions artists to draw. She does write copious amounts of fanfiction though.

Andrés: Ohhh the school bad boy babyyyy. Baseball bat with nails in it or something. There’s like... A thing between him in Charlotte and he wants to be a thing but she’s being difficult and makes it hard to talk to her or about her and ugh.

Charlotte: Princess, high school princess. She’s actually pretty nice when you get to know her- but she’s a diva. Ballerina after school. Best friends with Naomi and doesn’t know what she’s talking about when she mentions ships or OTPs but she listens anyways because she’s a good friend. There’s like... A thing between her and Andrés but she doesn’t know if she’s super into him but geez he’s really hot but she gets such mixed responses when she asks her friends about it and what if it doesn’t work outttt.

Marlon: They/Them but they’re okay with either pronouns they aren’t sure yet, he or she is okay... Box boy box boy. Autism... He doesn’t want to admit He’s attracted to men but he’s totally attracted to men. He lives alone which is probably illegal for his age but somehow he manages. Everyone thinks he’s “the quiet kid” and he’s really sad about it no don’t make jokes like that please guys ahh-

Sing for Me:

Kat: The color pink, addahadda(adhd), angry and loud and short. For being only like 10 and being an adorable little lesbian dressing in sparkly pink dresses she actually likes screaming a lot and would totally sing heavy metal if her producers let her. Loud and mad but gets so soft around her girlfriend. “If anything happens to Brie I’m killing everyone in this room and then myself”.

Brie: French... Birds and stuff. Loves her girlfriend even though she is so loud. So fast. So much. Likes to write pretty things. Is only like an inch taller than Kat. Filled with so much love for everything.

Elliot: The girls manager. Lots of coffee. Stressed out of his MIND please help this man. Probably gay. Seems like a smug dick but he is just a tall and lanky dork that loves puppies and wants nothing more than for Kat and Brie to be happy. Accidentally brands them as sisters and then Kat kisses Brie and- oh fuck oh shit oh no what has he done. Hides the fan and non fan responses from them. Poor guy.

Horror Hosts:

Ichabod: Hot demon who’s the son of the current ruler of hell or something. I mean he’s hot, smart, and royalty, what more do you want. I very specifically hear the dub voice of Kyoya Ootori from OHHC as his voice don’t @ me. Goat legs????? Yeah??? Don’t be rude.

Barnabie: Ohhhhhhhhh big orc teddy bear I’m crying I love him????? He puts up a more confident ploy and the given stereotypical personality orcs supposedly have but he’s just a shy boy that wants to give girls flowers and call boys pretty. Help him.

Garrison: Gary Burger. Fat hairy gay man. I mean werewolf. Wouldn’t it be funny if I made the whole werewolf thing backwards and made him transform into a HUMAN only on the full moon??? Party animal, pun absolutely intended. LOUD AND FUNNY he’s a dork. Bites. Horny on main Garrison please you’re supposed pamper and flirt with the guests but not quite that much.

Vincenzo: Token Vampire but he’s Italian because I felt like it. Talk and lanky of course. Bitch face. Blood coffee? Yeah lots of coffee. Tired. Let him sleep in Ichabod. Steps on people. Can summon and reanimate corpses but has a bitter attitude towards them because they get annoyed with him as much as he gets annoyed with- everyone else. He does have a soft spot but idk where it is. When he’s talking to guests he’s more suave and sexy though.

Kai: Genderfluid haha get it because slime fluid-... I’ll stop. Probably objectively the hottest because they can look anyway they want and shift their vocals to sound like almost anything, also probably objectively the best in bed (if you’re okay with the texture of Jell-o) and honestly come on save some for the rest of us it’s not fair. This boy can SING oh my god seranade me and whisper in my ear baby. Spunky and sassy.

Hallvor: BABY OCTOPOD BOY OHHHHH I LOVE HIM HE’S SO SWEET AND IS AN ANGEL DARLING BOY SO EMBARRASSED SO SHY SOFTEST VOICE OHHH- ohhh nooo he’s got a knife ohhhhh Hallvor baby don’t be like that ohhhh... Used to work in hentai actually (I wonder why) but quit because of immoral practices and good for him we love that. Okay he’s not actually a yandere or whatever but he DEFINITELY wants to squeeze you a little too hard and has those crazy eyes.

Carla: Main character of this OHHC monster clone. She sucks I don’t like her because listen listen she kills monsters as a living and when she tries to kill our boys here, Ichabod catches her and goes “no” but then the rest (not knowing her murderous intent) fall in love with her and Ichabod is like: “shoot well I’ll keep you alive and around but I’m watching you” and blah blah romance and feelings and character development and wow she seems like she’s grown to care about them... So Ichabod removes a curse he put to prevent her from harming them or leaving... AND THEN SHE STABS THEM ALL IN THE BACK IM CRYING. I mean she might have an extra reason for needing to kill them but I haven’t decided if I want to actually put it in the story yet so.

Fingertips:

Maria/Marianna: Was this goth angry chick and the head of these losers but after a failed heist, fire, and being betrayed and dropped from a window on a 3rd or 4th story down into flames, and going to the hospital and changing her name, she changed totally and become a soft pretty girl... And then the next three boys went “HEY BOSS WE FOUND YOU” and she went “oh no” and now she’s just an anxious wreck like “no no no no no I don’t shoot people in the face anymore no no no no no” And has a fear of hands. Also was Diamontés best friend in primary school and yes all these characters went to the K-12 school all the other characters do/did. Pretty voice. The story is mostly about her being anxious around all the other characters because who was it that betrayed her and dropped her into the flames below? Find out next week on th-

Nikki: He’s that character that you see and immediately go “oh he’s gross and is angry and is a bitch” and you’re right he is and has a cockney accent and screams a lot and probably swings a knife around a lot, but he’s got a sweet interior (somewhere in there... somewhere) Screamo heavy metal. Him and the rest of these character briefly talked about having a band and then they didn’t and then at the end of the story they do and although he plays guitar mostly, if he does do lead vocals he screams a lot. Bitch.

Anthony: Pretty boy but like the “was in the army” pretty boy vibe. Probably played football in highschool. Pyromaniac. Punches Nikki a lot. Almost gives himbo vibes sometimes, almost. Kind of likes the old timey cozy aesthetic. Plays the piano sometimes but “oh I’m not very good at it” Plays extremely well

Diamonté: TALL. Purple goth boy aesthetic hellll yeahhhh. CRAZY EYES AND THEY SPEAK VOLUMES WATCH OUT. Drums. The scary kind of quiet because he just smiles at you. Crowbar. Okay but he’s actually really sweet though. Secretly loves watching Anthony and Nikki get into fights so that’s why he rarely puts a stop to it. I think he’s a sadist. Can be a gentle giant, but can also be a not so gentle giant. The only time he’s really talkative is after copious amounts of booze.

Unnamed/Undesigned 1: Literally a pimp and he’s pretty gross. Blonde hair and pink and white clothes.

Unnamed/Undesigned 2: Chick that likes to throw knives and be angry and threatens Marianna a lot but in a quiet and monotone way, Marianna is pretty scared and hopes that these are just shallow threats uhhhhh.

Unnamed/Undesigned 3: Sells guns (without a lisence of course) and wears a bandana over his face a lot. Tired. Grumpy.

Unnamed/Undesigned 4: Like Marianna, was cold hearted and cool but then got caught in the fire and got all soft. He only has one eyes but how sweet his eyepatch is a heart. Recoved along side Marianna and they are good friends good friends tha- wait Marianna are you going back with them oh god you can’t do that oh dear oh no oh-

(I don’t have a story or name for these two but they’re my comfort ship OC’s and my current hyper fixaction right now):

Rodriquéz: I literally designed him with almost all the traits I find attractive in a guy other than freckles so as you can imagine I find him super HOT. I also designed his personality on what I find attractive from a guy so as you can imagine I find him super GREAT. But anyways he’s grumpy and closed off and monotone and smug. I really could go on for hours about how I want him to step on me I’m so sorry guys. Both him and Samantha give the “21 and having immature fun” vibes. They’re a thing but they like going to bars together and splitting off and doing their own thing (or doing someone else’s thing if you get what I mean haHhahHhahGahGhaha-) But so help them if anyone doesn’t oblige by the “no” from one of these two, someone’s gonna get beat up.

Samantha: (She literally just my personality shhhhh don’t tell anyone it’s a secret) Bubbly, energetic, a little shy by extroverted, bombshell blonde or something? It took me way too much time and effort to design her but I’m really happy with how I finally designed her, I love her outfit. She could kick me in the face and I’d say thank you. Girly drinks at the bar. Got that trauma and anxiety™️ secretly though. Skips and jumps a lot. As I’m typing this I keep looking up at the drawing of her and more and more I would want her to also step on me.

(Space Story I don’t have a nice title for):

Unnamed/Undesigned 1: So... Funny story this story originally was with me and uh... My ex I guess... So I gotta replace the MC’s... Whoops ahaha... Awkward. But anyways the MC is a robot and a girl and is a slight tsundere or smthn.

Unamed/Undesigned 2: Has a space ship, works for this organization in space that protects the galaxy. Is cocky, lazy, sly, oblivious, and an idiot. The love interest- obviously. Probably accidentally committing space crimes. (Like space pirating hAHAHA-) Kind of cool when he wants to be.

Dandelion/Dandy: CAT. WITH A JET PACK. Kind of an asshole. Fun fact used to be Polli’s cat but then when the Second MC crash landed on earth she was like “fuck this noise I’m going with space boy laterz” (okay she can’t talk but she thought it).

Zizii: Lesbian alien? Yeah???? Okay but I mean her main character trait is being a dorky back alley doctor and engineer obsessed with the MC because they’re a sentient robot with emotions and a lazer arm and rocket boots WOW!!!!!!!!

Story I want to revive:

So I had a story I started writing a long time ago about this tech theatre kid that had a crush on this other theatre kid character, but in a play that other character has to kiss another person for the show, and as the story progresses the MC convinces themselves that it isn’t just a play and that their crush actually loves and is kissing that other kid. And in the play, that other character is supposed to die. Show night comes along and they die, but like actually, and by the hands of the MC (Idk maybe like a light falls on em or smthn). So it’s a grotesque scene the audience sees as just an act. (Mutters I dunno I think my idea’s cool...) So I’ve been wanting to design these characters and work more on the story but I’m busy being obsessed with Rodriquez and Samantha so. (And the Horror Host Club too I love them too still).

Other Characters that either don’t have a specific story or are kind of like background characters:

Jacqueiliquinne Merril: Sara Berry vibes from 35mm (go look up The Ballad of Sara Berry, maybe like an animatic idk the first one that comes up is nice) But otherwise rich, pretty, popular, bitch. Tries to like, steal Louise from his squad and it’s like bro that’s unnecessary who hurt you that’s so rude. She gives Nui from Kill La Kill Vibes too. Oh she knows her name is long and annoying but you have to say the whole thing.

Brianna: Jaqueiliquinne’s sister. Big titty goth gf??? She’s pretty popular too and kind of a bitch too but to a much lesser degree. Her and he sister throw hands a lot when no one is around, you know, “THEY GIRLS ARE FIGHTINNGGGG”.

The Louise Fan Club: 4 characters I haven’t named yet. One writes fanfiction of Louise and shares it with the others and with him sometimes and although he thinks it’s a bit weird he also finds it a tad endearing and supports her. One is an aspiring photographer and is constantly asking Louise to model for him. One is an artist and draws Louise all the time. And one is an aspiring musician who writes songs based of Louise’s relationships which again he finds a little weird but endearing and supports her.

The Jacquiliquinne Merril Fan Club: Genderbent-ish (I say ish because one of the characters is a little bit less defined gender wise) versions of the Louise Fan Club. Yes I’m lazy, and no they don’t get along with them, infact they hate each others club with a passion. 

Unnamed/Undesigned: I wanna make some hacker kid just because I wanna have one.

Unnamed/Undesigned: I also really wanna have a super cutesy magical girl and then a really super duper generic boring character probably like star vs the forces of evil idk I never watched that show but it looks cute.

Me: I exist in the universe fukc you I can do what I want it’s my story and I get to chose the who also if you wanna be in the mess of a universe go ahead draw yourself with my OC’s I allow and encourage and appreciate it. I literally made the Horror Host Club as a sort of Harem story and you are absolutely allowed to make out with them if you’re a monster fucker DO it GO ahead it’s canon.

and that is ALL I have FOR now Knowing me I’ll make like 12 more characters by July, and I mean I need more characters for the high school anyways so...

[uniqueanjol]

Simply unexpected prt.28

At around 5pm Julie comes in to prep for night shift. Her and her husband take over on weekdays whereas me and william typically run night shifts on busy or weekend nights. She walks in her mixed silver and purple hair pulled back into a ponytail. “MOM!” William squealed from the back running forward tackling her with an obnoxious hug. She brushes him off and looks around the building “What did you do?” she questions him grabbing her apron from behind the bar. He sits on the bar table, and she turns to me giving me a soft warm hug, “oh Mabel I am so glad you handle him in the morings.” she laughs releasing her grip than looking up and over at the table Grace is typing away at. “Is that the drunkie from the other night?” she looks at me. “No, that's Mable’s lady friend.” William pitches in from the background. She squints,pushing her lips, her tone in question, “no.. I think that's the same girl.” I laugh, “She.. She was having a rough day, she's actually really cool.” Julie’s eyes narrow down and stare into my soul, my nerves jump. “So you guys are friends now?” My cheeks feel warm, “yeah.” Looking over Grace is obviously working.

Julie's face went from questioning to a devilish smile, “ Oh really? well, she has good taste in art. I’ll give her that.” Confused, I raise my finger weakly in question, “huh?” Julie points to the back wall I had painted my first few years of being here. “She came in Gawking over your wall. I told her it was you and looks like she snuffed you out quick.” I pause looking over at her watching her write. I hadn’t noticed but she placed herself directly facing my painting. I look back at Julie who is giving me a side eye. “She liked my art? You told her I did it?” Julie nods, “of course kiddo! I tell everyone that's your art and you should have seen her. She choked when I told her it was you I had no Idea you guys were friends.” Embarrassment and slight anxiety filtered in my stomach. For some reason I craved her approval and knowing that she's seen my art and knows it's mine… makes me feel vulnerable, I’m now open to her judgment. It wouldn't be so bad if Julie didn't say “EVERYONE” even those who didn’t, liked my art. Something so dumb to worry about, but suddenly I felt naked.

I snap out of my thoughts to a small thump on the bar top, “ Hey!” I turn and Grace stands there, eyes glittering with a bright smile. “I don’t mean to bother you guys, but..” She paused looking down at Julie's chest searching for a name tag. “Uh- Julie?.. I just wanted to say I’m sorry for the other night and I thank you for helping Mable get me home.” Julie nodded with a smile, “No problem!” she waves her hand loosely. “I assume you and our “sweeeet Mable syrup are acquainted?” She asks, giving pouty lips, pinching my cheeks with her fingers. She acts like a second hand mom attempting to embarrass me. Grace nods hoisting herself up onto the bar stool, “Oh yeah! I wouldn’t say she's sweet though,” She smirks giving me a quick wink then bursting out to a small chuckle looking back at Julie.

It’s clear she's picked up on the dynamic me and my boss share. “Ahh, I see she's given you some of her attitude too. Yeah she can definitely be an ass when she needs to be.” Grace laughs, “tell me about it, I’ve only known her for a few days and she’s already given me hell.” I shake my hand forward, making myself a part of their conversation. “Hold on you deserved it! I wouldn’t just give you hell for no reason.” Grace laughs leaning forward on the table, her shoulders press forward shedding exposure to her cleavage. My eyes drift down spotting small bits of glitter that sparkle tastefully among her fair sink and three white gems pierced into her skin. I panic and quickly shoot my gaze to the ceiling. “I never said it was for no reason, I also never said I didn’t appreciate it. I thank you for being exactly who you are.” Her eyes lay softly in my direction, she looked up at me with an admiral smile, she made it seem like there was no one else around to even distract her from me. She made it clear that she was looking at who I was; even though she barely knew me.

No one had ever looked at me like that before. I Nod, “well, I can’t be anyone else. “ a nervous laugh falls through my lips as she stands from the stool hoisting herself off with a little jump. “Well It was nice seeing you guys and thank all of you for letting me be here.” She pauses and looks around, gripping her laptop and Jacket to her chest. “Is it okay if I come back here to write again during the week?” This was clearly a question for Julie but I answered first before even thinking. “Yes!” She makes a small dancing wiggle and jumps in excitement, “thank you!” and walks out the door. Immediately I can feel eyes drilling to the back of my head. I had some explaining to do.

Simply unexpected prt. 28

The bell dings letting us know someone has left the building. And I turn to a crossed arm Julie and a cockheaded William. They have the same green eyes and both penetrate my soul. Sweat dripped down my neck. “What was that?” Julie raised an eyebrow. Laughter breaks from Will, “You think that was a trip, you should have seen her all morning! This bitch didn’t yell at me once! And she broke the cup. Not me.” Julie begins to laugh, clapping her hand on my shoulder, “our Mable baby finally has a crush!” I step back, placing my hand over hers. “ Jules,” I take a deep breath, “it’s not that serious. She’s cool, she’s cute… but. She’s… a friend.” The words scrape my throat like glass as they slip from my lips, friend. Will jumps off the counter. “ Mable you beautiful dumbass, that… is a crush. Mom has it right, she may be a friend now but, play your cards right and there’s potential.” He winks, “do it fast or I’ll take her.” Without a second of hesitation I shove his arm. “ Hell no!” Embarrassed, I pull back. The thought of her and William made my heart cringe. “No she’s gay, and besides you have Dom.” His emerald eyes roll to the back of his head and his posture drops. “Dom… is crazy, I love her but she tried to buy another damn cat! I said no, it was this whole big deal and now we're not talking… AGAIN!”

The shift of heat made me relax. “ cats are cool though. You know next week you guys are gonna be all over one another again.” Julie shakes her head in agreement and we spend the rest of our shift talking about nonsense town gossip. As we talk Graces eyes stay firmly planted in my head. Not just her eyes but the way she looked at me in that moment. Something about seeing her relaxed, interacting with more than just me drew me to her even further. She was a light I wanted to be surrounded in. I was a sunflower craving her rays of warm sunshine. It drove me crazy, yeah you see a cute girl you shoot your shot. But this, this was more than a shot fired this was a connection something I felt so suddenly. I can see she’s wrapped in personal history and written with stories that I wanted to read, I just want to know her.

My thoughts wander until the end of my shift and I hit the minimart before heading home, I used up the last of my chicken at Grace‘s house. It doesn't take long before I’m greeted by frantic waving hands to my face. “Mable!” My name yelled and elongated with exaggeration. I place my hand to the center of doms forehead as she leans forward into my palm pretending to march forward and fight me. Rolling my eyes I laugh, “what has gotten you riled up?” She drops her arms her posture following, “you didn’t tell ANNNYYYTHING!” dropping my hand I step back, “huh? What do you mean?” She crosses her arm offended, “the girl! You better thank me for saying yes by the way.” Confusion drew itself all over my face, “What are you talking about?” She frowns her brows and looks down, now confused as well. “She came in today and asked me yes or no to going to see you at work! Did that not happen? Is she just a creepy stalker and I fucked up?” She begins to panic. Finally I realize what she is talking about, “Oh… I assume you ran into Grace?”

Her hand shot up pointing her finger at me. “That's her name!” she paused, “long black hair, kinda scary but in a good way?” I nod my head and laugh, “yeah, that’s Grace. She’s interesting, that's for sure.” Dom sighs and walks with me down the issal to the frozen chicken. “Mable… that’s it? ‘She's interesting?” come on, there has to be more than that.” she waves her hands as she talks and I look down at my choice of dismembered chicken carcass. I make my selection, “there is. There's actually a lot, she's more than just interesting. She’s complex there's layers that are bare and open for everyone to see but impossible to peel back. She’s… stressful.. And I like it.” Dom steps behind the counter scanning my chicken. “I feel like stress isn’t the word you are looking for.” She hands me my receipt and I lean onto the counter. “No, it’s the right word, I can’t ‘not’ think about someone I barely know.” I cup my head into my hands, “It’s dumb, It’s a dumb crush thats going to be over in a week, i’m boring and shes… chaotic, I mean you’ve seen her. Shes probably only interested because im the only other lesbian for miles.” Dom wraps her blond hair into a large messy bun,” Orrrrrr, you just over think. This is the first time I've EVER seen you try for anyones attention. Most of the time you try not to be seen or when you are noticed, you... kinda lightly slam them into the floor with a blank stare up and down and a ‘no thanks’. She laughs, “it’s kind of savage i’m not gonna lie.”

Heh, “I guess you’re right. I’ll text you when I get home alright.” She rolls her eyes, “fine. Don't over think! Love you!” I walk out the store and get in my car, how was I not supposed to over think? Ding! My phone buzzed and I looked down and the light up notification.

** Simply unexpected episode 29 UP!**

“Damn. She writes fast

[luminescentauthor]

Sora/Tobi Getting Together and Relationship Headcanons

THEY’RE HEEEEEERREEEE! Maybe Tobi will finally leave me alone now and stop taking up my whole brain.

Please read this post or this won’t make sense, it’s HCs about their third year. There’s also a part two that you don’t need to read, since everything you need is in part one. (U can if u want to tho.)

(If you don’t want to, basically all you need to know is: Nao, Sora, Tobi, and Mokichi are on first-name basis since the end of second year; Sora and Tobi have had a running prank war since the end of their first year and everyone on the team hates them because of it; Sora is captain, Mokichi is vice. Oh also Tobi’s aunt is awesome and she stormed into his parents’ house in Hiroshima to yell at them for being terrible parents. Tobi didn’t find out for the longest time.)

This is some 10-ass pages so headcanons below the cut!

This. Is. So much more chaotic than my Sora/Nao HCs. Prepare for disaster gays, very tired and very exasperated queer parent friend Momoharu, very very tired Mokichi, "usually a functional bi but the second you involve emotions he becomes a grade-a disaster bisexual" Tobi, Sora struggling to deal with "OH shit I'm gay," and "bows to absolutely no one and done with everyone and everything 24/7" Nanao Nao. This version of Nao is so much more of a tired badass than Sora/Nao's Nao, who stays more true to her canon self. 

It's also twice as long. Yeet.

Tobi and Sora have had growing feelings since their first year and Mokichi and Nao are fucking suffering with these stupid gays.

They were friends at first, and it really was just pure platonic feelings. It started to turn into something more a little after the first Taiei game, but Sora is shy and a certified disaster and Tobi is way too emotionally constipated for either of them to do anything about it.

Tobi I love you but you're a fucking mess.

Tobi actually got kicked out by his "father" in large part for being bisexual, and therefore wants absolutely nothing to do with growing feelings for tiny cute short teammate, nope nope no thank you-

But basically, Tobi has known he's bi for a while now, and while he's having some acceptance problems, he's not having the "OH GOD I'M GAY" panic

Sora has not known, and he's having a panic in the background because "I'm attracted to guys?!"

Sora starts realizing what's going on some time in second year, and Momoharu takes one look at the panicking Sora and goes "aight the fuck happened to you?"

You will have to pry their friendship from my cold dead hands and I'm not sorry. I love Momoharu and Sora's dynamic. 

Sora eventually confesses to Momoharu (after a lot of prodding) that he thinks he's turning gay, and Momoharu immediately starts laughing. Sora, hurt and feeling very stupid, goes to run, but Momoharu tugs him back down to sit and tells him, "Jesus, Sora, you don't turn gay. You either identify as gay or you don't. Sorry for scaring you, the concept of turning gay is just... oddly funny. Don't worry about it dude, I'm pansexual."

"...Pansexual?" Sora asks nervously.

"Yup, I'm attracted to all people regardless of gender. Men, women, people who don't fit either -- I don't much care. Gender doesn't really factor into whether or not I'm attracted to people."

"You can be attracted to multiple genders?" Sora asks, eyes wide.

Oh boy, Momoharu thinks. Poor kid. "Yeah, folks who are attracted to just men and women are called bisexual. Homosexual is the official word for those who are only attracted to their own gender, but gay or lesbian is usually used. Heterosexual is for those only attracted to the opposite gender. Of course, the lines aren't as clear set as those labels suggest they are. Sexuality is fucky, dude. Don't worry about not having it figured out. I only decided on a label a few months back, myself. Some people just choose not to label it at all."

That makes Sora feel better, and he takes to talking to Momoharu about it quite a bit.

At one point, Sora brings up how the team would react, especially since they share a locker room. Momoharu just gives him a deadpan look and then says in the flattest voice ever, "Wow, imagine being so insecure in your masculinity that you can't share a changing room with a gay man." That gets a laugh out of Sora and makes him feel a lot better.

As it turns out, this was word for word Chiaki's reaction to Momoharu being nervous about coming out to the team back in their first year.

It is also, word for word, Chiaki's response to Sora coming out to him going "I'm sorry I hope this doesn't make things awkward-"

Momoharu laughs hysterically when Chiaki pulls the exact same face he did and says in the exact same deadpan tone, "Wow, imagine being so insecure in your masculinity that you can't share a changing room with a gay man." Sora also stares at Chiaki for about ten seconds in silence, then doubles over laughing. Chiaki is so confused until Momoharu explains. 

However, this does mean that Momoharu has to deal with the brunt of Sora's "TOBI DID A THING HOLY SHIT" rants for the rest of the year, even though he denies that Tobi is the one he was attracted to if ever asked.

Momoharu, rubbing his forehead: Chiaki the baby gays are being stupid what do I do

Chiaki: I'm a straight so unfortunately I don't think I can help here?

Momoharu: Ugggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Tobi is freaking out in the background because "oh no gay feelins oh no soft feelins fuck what do I do????"

His aunt: Kid, please calm down, you'll be fine.

Tobi, putting a groove in the floor with his pacing: NO I WON'T WHA' IF 'E FINDS OUT WHAT IF THIS RUINS THA TEAM DYNAMIC WHAT IF 'E 'ATES ME-

Accent go yeet when upset!

She holds him while he panics and lets him curl into her, and then makes his favorite foods and puts on a movie and cuddles with him, and once he's asleep, she calls her brother-in-law with every intent of murder because how dare you make this child feel so unloved?

Anyway, Tobi eventually comes to accept himself and his sexuality in full thanks to her, the team, and Juri. It's primarily just a thing of time and needing to have more conversations where he's open about it and accepted by people he cares about. 

Poor Sora still isn't totally comfortable with being gay? And a month or so into his third year, he comes out to Nao and later Mokichi. They make him feel much better, but the final piece is actually Tobi himself. Tobi finds Sora having a breakdown in the locker rooms and holds him to help him calm down and pushes him to talk about it, and Sora finally tells Tobi he's queer.

And Tobi, having been through this struggle before, just kind of pulls him into a hug and says, "Well, tha' makes two o' us" and Sora goes "wHAT" and Tobi tells him he's bisexual. Tobi does not pry about who made Sora realize he's queer, because it's personal and touchy, and he respects that.

That does, however, extend the mutual bullshit period.

But also: 

Sora: oH MY GOD HE'S GAY HE'S GAY HE'S GAY I'M-

Tobi: 'E's. 'E's Bi. Deep breaths deep breaths deep breaths just don' panic and ask 'im out that's a bad plan-

Tobi that's actually how you deal with romantic feelings like a functional human being but sure, go off. 

Tobi comes out to Nao and Mokichi with Sora's support shortly after that, and their reactions are, respectively: "NICE!" "Cool." and then Nao tackles Tobi in a hug that is the start of a big grouphug. 

There's lots of hugging and crying (the latter is Nao and Sora and a little bit of Mokichi), and Tobi will vehemently deny that he cried at all, but a few tears got out.

(Lbr Tobi's gay pining for Sora was Not Subtle, so they already knew, but they don't tell him that for a while. When they do tell him, he's gotten to the point where he just stares at them blankly for a moment and then groans rather than flipping out. Mokichi chuckles quietly and Nao just outright laughs at him.)

But anyway, both of these Absolute Idiots are still crushing on each other, and everyone is suffering.

Actually, scratch "crushing,” it's moved into full-blown pining now.

Sora eventually also accepts that, alright, he has a big crush on Tobi. Tobi, their ace. Tobi, one of his best friends. Tobi, one of the best wings in all of Japan. Tobi, who is ridiculously attractive. Tobi, who looks like an actual bush when he doesn't tie his hair back somehow, because his hair is insanely (and adorably) frizzy and voluminous. Tobi, who will whoop at the top of his lungs and grin like a maniac because he just pulled off a fantastic drive and double-clutch, even though he's exhausted and soaked in sweat and they're four minutes into overtime. Tobi, who makes the cutest face with the sweetest smile Sora has ever seen when he talks to his sister. (Tobi, who is a boy, and Sora has stopped caring.)

Sora even stops denying that he likes Tobi after a little bit, and Momoharu is just in the background going, "good job, it only took you two entire years to figure that out."

Sora: LEAVE. ME. ALONE.

Momoharu: Okay but have you considered: No. Absolutely not. 

Anyway Tobi mostly complains/gay rants to Nao and sometimes Mokichi, and at this point, even Juri is slightly sick of her brother talking about "our amazin' point guard." Yer not subtle, Anchan????

Except it eventually moves from "wow he's amazin' but NO I do not 'ave a crush on 'im" to "oh my God I am SO gay," and then later it moves to a more resigned gay panic. ("Nnnnnnghhhhh I nearly fuckin' kissed 'im after practice today what do I do-")

Nao is trying to bully both of them into confessing, but neither will take the first step, not because of pride, but because they're scared. (Nao is. So. Done. Even if she sympathizes, it has been two years of this bullcrap please-)

Tobi, especially, is afraid of losing everything again after his nasty stepdad booted him out.

Sora is like "that is one of my closest friends, and given this team's stability record I am Not Poking That Mess With A Long Stick."

Momoharu, who is the one he says this to, is just kinda like, "Yeah I can't really argue with that, as much I want you to confess."

Nao, later, having been subjected to a similar rant, after he said "closest friend" instead of "a dude": HE'S GROWING UP KANAME-KUN I'M TEARING UP-

Mokichi is far too tired of everything to interfere, which is fair.

Juri badgers Tobi for a solid four weeks before he admits what's really going on, and then it kind of all comes spilling out, and she encourages him to confess to Sora, but he's still reluctant.

Nao also bluntly says, "Kenji-kun's family abandoned him, Sora-kun, and it may be because he's the words ‘problem child' given physical form, but it may be because he's queer. If you want to work this out, I think you'll need to take the first step." 

(Tobi told the team about his past late first year/early second year. Crying happened and everyone basically group-tackle-hugged Tobi, and he finally got the hugs he very much needed and definitely deserved.)

And Sora angsts over that for a while until Chiaki very simply says, "Do you want things between the two of you to change?" And Sora realizes that yes, he does, he doesn't want things to stay the same, he wants to hold Tobi's hand and go on dates and call each other at weird hours for the sake of it and hold each other until they fall asleep and kiss him and -- well, you get the idea.

So he works up the courage, and it's one night some months before the national tournament when Sora asks Tobi to stay behind with him for extra practice. Sora is really nervous, and Tobi is like "??? Sure? Are ya okay?"

Sora, voice cracking: yEaH I'M FINE

Anyway, Sora misses like a solid sixty percent of his shots that practice and Tobi is. So confused.

Tobi to Mokichi: Did. Did somethin' happen.

Mokichi just shrugs, which does not make Tobi feel better.

So Tobi stays behind all the others to talk with Sora, and they're both really nervous. Obviously, Sora is about to confess, and Tobi is just so confused, and also some small part of him is going, "oh God did he figure out I like 'im????"

Nao and Mokichi kicked all the first and second years out after just an hour of individual practice, and Sora is grateful but also, "guys please don't make me confront my problems."

Nao: "Sora-kun if we waited for you to deal with this we'd be here 'till sunrise."

Mokichi, tiredly: "No, we'd be here until we turned old and gray."

Sora asks Tobi to sit with him while blushing, and Tobi complies, still very puzzled.

They make small talk for a minute, and then Sora abruptly says, "Kenji-kun... I... I think I have a crush on you".

Tobi gapes at him like a fish, opening and closing his mouth for a solid minute, and eventually, Sora.exe unfreezes and goes, "Sorry, I-" and Tobi just goes, "Fer real? Ya aren't prankin' me again?" in a surprisingly quiet voice.

And Sora is mildly offended but knows that's a fair assumption given their track record of prank wars, and he also almost wants to use the excuse Tobi has handily provided, but he just stands and goes "I'm sorry, I should leave-"

And Tobi leaps to his feet, grabs his hand, and says flat out, "Sora, I've 'ad a crush on ya since first year."

And Sora just kinda… short circuits. "Wait, really?"

Tobi just kinda rubs the back of his neck (shyly? Tobi gets shy?) and goes, "Yeah, I... I kinda only admitted it in tha middle a' second year, though."

And Sora says slowly, "You... you like me. You like me!" He laughs, relieved. "Holy shit, I was so scared you were going to reject me and it was going to ruin everything--"

And Tobi is just going oh my God, he's adorable, I can't deal with him, and takes Sora's chin in one hand and asks quietly, "Sora, can I kiss ya?" Sora's eyes, predictably, go wide, and he nods. (And please take a moment to recall and appreciate the fact that Tobi is canonically an entire foot taller than Sora. Sora is 149 cm (4'10.7) and Tobi is 178 (5'10.1). This is fantastic because I will bet actual money that this height difference has not shrunk; if anything, it has grown.)

They kiss just as the entire team bursts into the gym. Turns out, they were watching the whole thing, and honestly, none of them look that ashamed; they put up with the pair's bullshit for this long, they're invested now, and they deserved to know what happened.

"ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, THIS IS REVENGE FOR TWO AND A HALF YEARS OF USELESS GAY PINING," Nao yells. "KANAME-KUN, EVERYONE -- GRAB THEM!"

And the team lifts the yelling and protesting couple above their heads as Sora loudly objects and Tobi swears at them. The first years learn some creative new insults. The second and third years, on the other hand, are very accustomed to Tobi by this point, and aren't remotely surprised, but -- oh, haven't heard that one before, actually, says a second year. The others mutter assent. 

We have, Mokichi grouches. We third years have heard them all. 

Sora is small and easily hauled around, and Tobi is also pretty helpless when being held up above the heads of Mokichi and their first-year center. So they can’t really like... do anything about being dragged around.

Nao leads the team forward like an army, and they march to the pool to drop the two of them in, and when they resurface, fully clothed and soaked to the bone, Sora is laughing hysterically. (Assume Sora learned to swim at some point.)

Tobi is groaning, but he's grinning, and he swims over to the side of the pool -- and grabs Nao and Mokichi's ankles and drags them in, both of them yelling.

And Sora thinks, with Nao yelling in irritation but a sparkle in her eyes and a grin she's failing to fight off, with Mokichi laughing quietly as he flings his wet bangs out of his eyes, with Tobi laughing hysterically, his hair slicked back by water, with the four of them wearing all of their clothes and soaked to the bone, their entire team yanking off their shirts to jump into the pool with them and the moon and stars shining overhead, that he's never been happier.

And Tobi turns to him and grins, and Sora can't keep himself from jumping at Tobi -- who catches him, startled -- and kissing him again.  

And, like, hey, Tobi isn't about to complain.

They take about two months to settle into things, and then it's just like... I'm sorry, who thought letting Kurumatani "Embodiment of Chaos" and Natsume "Biggest Problem Child Ever" Kenji date was a good idea?????

It's a bit awkward for a while because they're still feeling things out and figuring out what they're both comfortable with, but then they finally click, and it's... pure fucking chaos.  

Sora will not stop stealing Tobi's clothes and Tobi is not happy about it, mostly because -- Sora, if ya keep stealin' my clothes while I am in the changin' room, then I do not 'ave clothes to wear ya stupid chibi--

Tobi has stormed into the gym shirtless at least twice yelling, "SORA! GIVE BACK MY FUCKIN' SHIRT!"

Listen. Listen we have a total of three scenes of Tobi being shirtless, and two of them were in front of plenty of people. Tobi is many things, but body shy is not one of them. He wouldn't care. 

(Post-Kitasumi loss, post-Shinjo loss, and that one scene of him dribbling in a park or something at night with an audience. The night before they played Taiei.)

Tobi: Are ya ever jus' tryin' to figure out where all yer clothes have gotten ta and then ya turn ‘round and see 'em all on yer dumbass tiny boyfriend?

Sora, clearly utterly unapologetic, wearing Tobi's sweatshirt: Oops. 

Chiaki, probably: SOME OF US ARE SINGLE STOP RUBBING IT IN.

As mentioned before, Sora is canonically 149 cm (~4'10.7), and Tobi is 178 cm (~5'10.1). There's a 29-centimeter difference, almost an entire foot, and frankly, that difference has grown a few centimeters, and you bet Tobi is going to abuse the shit out of this.

He literally holds things Sora wants over Sora's head all the time and Sora hates it. Like yes, Tobi did this before they dated too, but now Tobi is doing it more just to be annoying. It's also the only way Tobi can keep his clothes out of Sora's hands whenever they aren't on Tobi's person. (It's kind of hard to steal a shirt when someone is wearing it.) 

"THIS IS ABUSE!"

"Me holdin' m' own jacket above m' head so that ya can't steal it from me isn't abuse, it’s self-preservation! It’s like -20 degrees out there, Sora, use yer own jacket!"

I personally headcanon Tobi shooting up like a weed, but whether he did or not, he's probably between 180 and 190 now (5'11 and 6'3). Meanwhile, Sora is like maybe 155-60. It is possible that Sora also shoots up, but I feel like he would hit 165 at most. That would have him growing 16 cm, which is 8 inches, so. That's a lot of inches to grow in two and a half years. 

The things Tobi holds above his head are mostly his own clothes and also food items, plus the occasional basketball.

He also sometimes will nab Sora's clothes and hold them up in the air just to get back at him. Sora will be leaping up in the air, trying to reach his clothes, while Tobi stands there with a shit-eating grin holding Sora's shirt over his head. It looks so stupid. Nao and Mokichi both have multiple videos of it. (Nao has like five.) (What? She suffered, alright? Let her have this blackmail, at least.)

Sora: :( My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips, what should I do?

Momoharu: Punch him in the stomach. Then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.

Nao: Tackle him.

Chiaki: Dump him.

Mokichi: Kick him in the shin.

Tobi: NO TO ALL A' THOSE, JUST ASK ME TA LEAN DOWN!

Nao and Mokichi and Momoharu and Chiaki and Madoka and literally all of their friends are still giving them a hard time for being useless gays and taking two and half years to deal with their feelings even five years later. They're never going to live it down.

As adults, juggling careers and their growing relationship is hard.

They both go to universities in Tokyo, thankfully, and don't have to do long distance, and get an apartment together in their third year.

Tobi probably joins the B.League, and maybe Sora does too. (I dunno, I'm not committing to anything with career HCs.)

If they do, they have to keep their relationship secret; it would be a huge deal to be gay athletes in Japan (or... anywhere.) Most of their teammates know, though. Like... Sora regularly shows up to practice in Tobi's sweatshirts.

The sexual tension whenever they play each other is intense, though.

(My pet headcanon for Tobi is actually him going to university in America and joining the NBA. While I want to do that with Sora too, the mangaka apparently turned down two anime deals because they ended with Sora in the NBA. I haven't fact-checked that, though.)

They're around 25 when the world as a whole finds out. It either comes out because one of them is like, "hey babe do ya wanna just come out? We have enough money to retire if this goes south," "Oh sure," or because they mess up so drastically that people figure it out. After all, it would take a lot to break past the "they're such good friends!" mentality of sports reporters. Like seriously. These two are not subtle. They can let heteronormativity do most of the work for them, in all honesty. 

Anyway, it comes out, and the media goes into an uproar, and they retreat to visit Sora's dad in Nagano without telling anyone except their coaches and closest friends where they've holed up and just let the world burn while they enjoy tea and the view of the mountains and avoid social media like the plague. 

Assuming it was planned:

Tobi, the day before coming out, on his official twitter: I'll be doing a no-electronics retreat with my partner for two weeks, so I won't be on social media. Enjoy your week!

Or possibly the way he came out, besides their official announcement on Sora's account, was just "I'll be doing a no-electronics retreat with my boyfriend, @KurumataniOfficial, for the next two weeks. Bye y'all, have a good two weeks! :)" because that has Tobi's chaotic energy.

Edit: Actually? I take that back. SORA would do that. That has SORA'S chaotic energy.

When people get homophobic, all of their friends -- high school, college, adult life -- are immediately down to throw hands. 

The Japanese highschool circle of people who went professional is small and pretty close-knit, and the NBA and B.League sides are quite close to each other as well. Shiraishi and Fuwa, who are both in the NBA, both riot when people attack their old acquaintances from high school. I personally headcanon Fuwa as a raging chaotic bi, because -- hair. Yozan, for that matter, is also pretty pissed off. 

Fuwa probably gets on twitter and goes, "What's this bullshit about them being gay???? Of course they're gay. Have you ever seen them interact for more than two seconds??? Are you blind??? Wait, nope. Sorry. Don't want to insult blind people. ARE YOU ACTUALLY THAT DUMB????"

Momoharu tweets," 'Wow, imagine being so insecure in your masculinity that you can't share a changing room with a gay man' --My twin Chiaki, and Sora and Tobi's HS teammate, upon them coming out in HS" and first Sora's teammates start retweeting it and then Tobi's and then every single one of both their teams’ members retweets it. It's fantastic. 

Then Shiraishi (who, again, is in the NBA) retweets it, and it goes completely viral. Chiaki is so happy but also really pissed that it's Momoharu's account. 

Momoharu ribs him about it for a solid three weeks just to be obnoxious. 

There's actually no one on either of their teams that didn't already know about the relationship. Again, they're not subtle together. If there was any drama, it was presumably resolved by getting rid of the homophobe. 

Anyway, so while shit hits the fan, Sora and Tobi just shelter in place and their friends all react by going to war, which both of them are a bit taken aback by, but like, they aren't complaining about it. They're both touched actually.  

For marriage, honestly, neither one of them proposes in any fancy manner; they probably decided to get married because the topic comes up due to taxes. Sora goes, "Hey, do you think we should get married? The taxes would be cheaper," without really thinking about it, and Tobi goes, "Honestly, if it means everyone will stop badgerin' us about 'tyin' the knot' or whatever, I vote we elope," and that's that. Some two hours later while making dinner, Sora goes, "HOLY SHIT WAIT ARE WE ENGAGED?" and Tobi, who was reading, stares at him for three seconds, processes that, and slowly goes, "...I guess? Yeah, I guess we are. Wow. We did that." 

Sora slams his head on the table and Tobi just very tiredly says, "babe, no, ya need those brain cells." 

Assume gay marriage is by this point legal and accepted.

When asked how they got engaged, everyone is just like, "THAT'S SO ANTICLIMACTIC?????" This is also the media's reaction.

Interviewer: Why did you and Natsume-san decide to get married?

Sora, shrugging: Taxes are easier with your partner when you're married.

But they went to get rings together on their tenth anniversary shortly after deciding to get married, and if that isn't sappy as hell, I don't know what is. 

They probably don't wait long for the wedding and don't bother making it a huge thing; they invite all their friends, hire some folks to keep the media out no matter what, and hire a few people to film it and figure they can share that footage later. ("I am not havin' the media at my weddin' that is a private event for friends and family -" "Love, I am not arguing with you, I don't want them there either???")

Nao will be best woman for one of them at the wedding, and you bet she will give them so much shit for being disasters back in high school in her speech.

Juri, who by that point is like 20 something, because the disaster gays don't get married till they're at least 28 to 30, is either Tobi's best woman or playing some significant role in the wedding. She also roasts her brother and brother-in-law. 

Tobi and Juri are definitely half-siblings, just in terms of time. He looked five or six when his biodad died, and she seems about the same age, meaning there's a ten-year gap. 

Also, it's implied in the manga, so. 

The newly-weds are just sitting there groaning as their friends/family members roast them, but they're both grinning. 

The vows are probably really, really sappy, and Tobi can claim it's Sora's fault as much as he wants, but he's honestly also kind of a sap too and all his friends know it.

Tobi's stepdad is not invited. In fact, Tobi goes out of his way to send an edited version of the invitation to him that basically says, "Wedding! You're not invited!" while Sora and Juri die of laughter in the background. His mother does come, though -- she eventually moved out following the "her younger sister stormed in boiling with righteous fury on behalf of her son" incident. While the couple never got a divorce, they haven't spoken in years. 

The invitees are actually mostly friends, not family. While Sora's dad, grandma, and extended family come, Tobi's only present family are his sister, his aunt, his mother, and his biodad's brother (and the brother's wife and kids.) But they have hundreds of friends there; Nao, Mokichi, Momoharu, Chiaki, Madoka, Yasu, Chukie, Nabe, their kouhai from their second and third years, Satsuki with his wife and two kids, Shiraishi, Fuwa, Yozan, Mineta, Yakku, Nino, Tarou, both of their professional teams and all the team staff, the national team that they played with, Sakamaki, Yuka and Tomohisa’s friends, Madoka's older sister, their college teammates and classmates -- the list literally just doesn't stop. For like. Days. That guest list was the hardest part of the wedding, actually.

The symbol they use on the invitations is a dragon. Momoharu and Nao both cry when they see the nod to the Kuzuryu team. (Chiaki does not cry, he claims. Momoharu calls bullshit, and Momoharu is, for once, completely right.) 

The cake has wing patterns curving up the sides; one kite wing with a healed injury, and a duck wing in front of the silhouette of an eagle wing. ("I'm sappy, Ken, sue me." "Actually, I think that's adorable, so go ahead.") 

The healed injury was Tobi's idea, though. Sora was confused, but Tobi explained that Sora and Kuzuryu brought him back to basketball as a team sport, and healed him from the pain of being pushed away from his family. Sora cries.

The shadow of the eagle wing was also Tobi's idea. He says "I agree that yer a duck because I love ya to pieces but yer still short as shit-" "Oi." "-but I also think ya learned how to fly in yer own right. Swimmin' and duckin' be damned. Ya fly on the court, Sora." 

Sora does not cry again. He does not. ("Sure ya didn't." "SHUT UP KEN-") (He definitely teared up a little, because Tobi is looking at him with a soft smile and the most affectionate look in his eyes, and holy shit, I love him, and I'm going to marry him????

They go to Nagano and Hiroshima to visit their parents' graves after the wedding. Both of them are sappy about it. "I wish you could have met him" speeches, basically, while the other stands out of earshot.

They then proceed to screw off to Hawaii on a honeymoon for two weeks, since it's the offseason. 

Either they combine their names, or Tobi takes Sora's last name.

I feel like Tobi would, just to spite his stepdad. I'm pretty sure Natsume is his stepdad's last name, since Tobi is seen wearing a helmet that is probably his dad's in a flashback, and it has a different name on it. Might've been a company name, though. Idk.

Sora is maybe crying when they change the nameplate on their Tokyo apartment to read "Kurumatani-Natsume Sora and Kurumatani-Natsume Kenji" because "holy shit that's my fucking husband!!!!!"

And Tobi just laughs and wraps his arms around him and drags him down onto the couch to hold him, and Sora thinks that life is good. Very good. 

And if Nao and Mokichi and Momoharu and Chiaki and Madoka and Juri and crew all crash their place five seconds later, well, Sora thinks, that just makes it better. 

wow! if you made it through this entire thing i am grateful to you for reading! and lowkey impressed because this is almost 5000 words. see my Ahiru No Sora Headcanons tag for more! there is also a Sora/Nao relationship headcanons post.

[festeringfae]

I still haven’t fucking gone to sleep and its 2:30pm so at this point we are watching the movie that i hate so that the endorphins of being offended will keep me awake until like 5pm so i can just crash for the whole night and still wake up at a semi reasonable hour

so are the cartoonish fantasies of murder of people besides Honora actually verified real things they wrote oooooooor did this movie just want comic relief cgi....murder of a priest

honestly pardon me if this is a bigotry of some kind on my part but if you’re already so far gone in a morbid fantasy land that you have vivid daydreams of executing people, and you’re reunited with the one person you give a shit about after literal months, you are.....past the point of remembering not to kiss if you are gay. like if they were at all gay they would have kissed on the mouth here. as they FUCKING SAID, they aren’t gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay and i’m MAD this movie perpetuates that some murderers were gay who weren’t

i’m aware that i am truly-- whats that expression? about crackers? at a certain point a thing just becomes to the point where youll complain about the way they eat crackers, which is an objectively ridiculous complaint? yeah, i’m aware i’m at that point with this movie. maybe i shoul-- no, because like i said, if it wasn’t based on a true story i’d only be enjoying it ironically-- unless i assumed that like jackson’s previous work it was supposed to be a horror comedy, at which point honestly theres a whole other set of problems and im not sure if i would find it mysogenistic or not. Actually, that’s bullshit, because literally my shorthand for complaining about Heavenly Creatures prior to Ammonite was “Peter Jackson’s movies are like “if you are a man with close friendships you save the world, if you’re a woman with close friendships you become crazy, gay, and kill your mom”, so.

they kissed goodbye on the mouth because not only is this movie harmful to My People it also enjoys trolling me, the individual, specifically

honestly the fucked up thing is that if it wasn’t based on a true story and it wasn’t made in a time where there were no queer leads, this movie would actually be like? pro lesbian? honestly i think the whole thing might be okay if they were in fact romantically into each other but they HAVE. SAID. THEY. ARE. NOT. SO YOU’RE JUST. BLAMING LESBIANS. FOR A MURDER. NOT DONE BY LESBIANS.

Im guess ficticious Honora notices the kiss and thats when the homosexuality “diagnosis” crops up

not a movie critique but i am, as the movie probably wanted me to be, all “bitch she brought you FRUIT!” about honora giving juliet fruit

honestly how many nerd girls of all sexualities did this inflict satanic panic upon

it’s like....if the bronte’s didn’t also have the whatever worldbuilding syndrome the ableism already present in for certain types of neurodiverse girls and nerdy girls......not even just this movie but this trial....

pauline is telling juliet some boy is in love with her and im pre-emptively mad because either something explicitly gay will happen or the codependence will roar up and be all u can’t be with him hes not in our special little club and itll be so homoerotic that its the same impact,just  with a get out of accountability free card 

juliet no girl actually into boys notices when one is in love with her and i am speaking to the fictive juliet only 

i’m glad the like negative aspects of their close friendship are cropping up other than that they LOOK WEIRD and WRITE THINGS CONTEMPORARY BOYS PROBABLY DO ON MINECRAFT SERVERS DAILY and superficial shit like that. especially since we honestly still dont know all that much about their personalities or relationship to each other outside of their, for lack of a better phrase, special interest

(i guess i could look up the name of the sharing a world mental thingie but like listen i’m not a neurotypical i can call it a special interest without equating having one to........the hulmes/parker murder)

cutting the scene directly after the line “he’s only a stupid boy”, okay nobody gets ANY fucking benefit of the doubt anymore, that is so much gayer than any of the kisses on the mouth, that literally feels like. you took a big, traumatic part of lesbian culture and shared/collective lesbian trauma and you put it in the mouth of a fucking MURDERER who WAS! NOT! A! LES!BI! AN! so that your fucking MOVIE had more PATHOS or whatever and now Kate Winslet has a career and the audacity to not do any lesbian roles for 26 years and then stroll into ammonite like “whats up dykes! found this cool rock after i fell off the titanic! might fuck around and kiss jo march while i clean it up!”

wait, now that i’ve officially bannished plausible deniability of goodwill, can I stop recording my reactions? i feel like that’s what i was trying to keep track of, whether or not it’s fair to call this anti lesbian propaganda when i haven’t seen the full contents, but like now I’m Calling It, it Is Meant To Be Read Explicitly As Gay And Thus I Am Allowed To Be Mad At Kate Winslet and don’t have to keep analyzing whether or not I am. I will check back in if they get like formally “diagnosed” with homosexuality and the fictive versions of the real life people reject this in the movie but for now I’m praying that ceasing to take notes will make finishing the movie-- a thing I am now determined to do as a stupid endurance thing to prove to myself i can-- fucking faster. or maybe ill feel compelled to keep taking notes in 2 seconds, who fucking knows, BYE