#TW: BULIMIA

[sockmeat]

Hey, Can You do a Alastor x reader who has bulimia? Where Alastor and thé reader are in a relationship, and hé liké, finds out? Only If You feel comfortable tho ♥️

𝐆𝐍 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 --  𝑨𝒏 𝑺/𝑶 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒃𝒖𝒍𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒂… (𝑯𝒂𝒛𝒃𝒊𝒏 𝑯𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒍)

(𝐰𝐜): 391

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Alastor finds out you have bulimia and helps you cope with it.

(𝐀/𝐍): First time writing something like this, I tried reading up on how to treat it but idk IM NERVOUS

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠(𝐬): Bulimia, eating disorders, OOC Alastor, DO NOT read if you are not in the right headspace

                                                        𓆩♡𓆪

♡ Alastor suspected it, he had been watching your behavior after noticing how strange it was, but that didn’t make the confession any easier.

♡ Alastor’s love language is food–he absolutely loved making things you would enjoy, making things you haven’t tried yet, making you things when he felt like it, etc.

♡ However, he began to notice how you would eat everything he offered, then suddenly you would get very ill to the point of rarely being able to leave the bathroom, and wouldn’t eat anything he gave you.

♡ Safe to say, he was worried.

♡ He went through trial and error trying to figure out what was happening; he would pay extra attention to your plates and food, making sure there wasn’t any poison, anything raw, or anything you were allergic too, he would watch you and make sure you weren’t eating too much food at once and unintentionally making yourself sick, but nothing he tried worked.

♡ Eventually, he just settled on asking you directly. He could tell immediately it wasn’t something you wanted to talk about–you looked nervous and tried to use every excuse in the book, but Alastor wasn’t letting up.

♡ Finally, you just sighed and told him. You cried your heart out when you told him about your insecurities and why exactly you were getting so sick.

♡ For once, Alastor felt his chest squeeze.

♡ There weren’t any reliable therapists in Hell, so he went out and got as much information as he could on Bulimia. He hadn’t been in a situation like this before, so he had to build his knowledge from the ground up.

♡ He sat you down once again, where he explained that he would support and love you unconditionally no matter what and would do his best to help you in this rough time.

♡ He became a safe space for you to go to when you didn’t feel safe with yourself, he helped you build a better self esteem through encouraging words, helped you see through a different perspective, and would eat with you/share meals with you so you wouldn’t feel as guilty.

♡ Eventually, when you’re more stable and comfortable in your skin but still wanting to lose weight, Alastor will encourage you to use more healthy methods, such as exercise.

♡ Of course, you’ll have slip-ups occasionally, but Alastor will be there for you every time.

                                                        𓆩♡𓆪

[silly-sobber-69]

Cw: for EDs, V_mit_ng and Self St_ving

Poor guy!

That makes his nightmare form pretty sad aw

I feel bad for Gauss,I believe he's a lovely man whether he is chubby or chubby buff whatever he is under that suit.

Me personally I think he's buff chubby but the way he maintains his physique isn't in a healthy manner and that's where his eating disorder lies

Maybe he has bulimia, because it's the type of eating disorder where you binge eat a lot and then compensate for it through concerning ways like vomiting and self starvation

Maybe he's stressed about constantly having to be perfect to the public, one wrong move and he's gonna lose people and the public is.... EVERYWHERE and EVERYONE outside, must feel lonely.

Maybe he copes by having a lot of treats but then starts feeling guilty and you know

What's the point of socialising if you're never yourself? It's as bad as being lonely.

He also lives alone, so doesn't seem to have anyone for emotional support or anyone who knows him beyond his public image. Anyone who ever wants to be with him wants to be with his swauve, smug, confident, and planned out television persona he doesn't know if anyone will ever want to be with his regular self. Hell nobody knows what he's like behind the curtains.

So I think his nightmare form kinda reflects his nightmare, his fear that he's living a lie. He feels like he's not good enough. Because everything he does outside is planned out to please the public. He feels unworthy inside that if someone saw the real guy inside they'd be disappointed and put out by him.

I wouldn't be surprised if he uses steroids or some drugs to keep his physique up

Also his eyes being closed feels symbolic, like you know what they say, eyes are the window to the soul and he keeps his one closed. His smile feels forced like he feels like he's fooling nobody. The chain on his body feels restrictive like he's not allowed to go beyond a certain mold and the top of his head is tiny because he feels stupid. Just a dumb pretty puppet that's ugly on the inside, but pretty on the outside for the news industry to use.

-------------------------------------------------

So I guess the nightmare neighbors are negative perceptions of what the neighbor's fears are, worst nightmares are ect.

I'm gonna hold izaack like a hamburger now

[claudysummer]

1 — BENNY'S BURGER

Eddie tried to remain as neutral-faced as possible. Chrissy had said many times how it was hard to not feel she was being judged or pitied. So he lit a cig and started to think about the scales he was trying to learn, or how to build an interestin elf clergy, or... well, anything that wasn't Chrissy looking at the smallest portion of fries in front of her as if they were pointing at her with a gun. 'Little by little' he remembered the words of Mrs Kelly, 'doesn't matter if it takes hour, just finnish the portion and don't rush to the bathroom to throw it up.' Under his eyelashes, he saw Chrissy's trembling hand picking the first fry. She hadn't added any ketchup. 'That's okay. Little by little', he thought. It would be a long afternoon, but he was going to be there for her.

[watsonjackpot]

+ ( I really think most people don't think about how absolutely fierce Mary Jane can be when it comes to defending those she loves. And I've been hit with two different reminders of it in the past twenty-four hours, so I definitely figured it was time for a bit of showing.

This is Kristy Watson, MJ's cousin . She came to live with Mary Jane and Peter for a while after their wedding . As it turns out, Kristy has bulimia , and had been binging and purging the entire time that she had been living with Peter and Mary Jane, and had managed to keep it a secret, until she outright passed out and Aunt May took her to the hospital, where she was diagnosed. Her parents' reaction wasn't sympathetic by any means . Her mother was outright oblivious, and her father was verbally abusive, much like how Philip Watson had been to Mary Jane herself.

The results above speak for themselves, with MJ eventually becoming Kristy's guardian , for all intents and purposes .

Sensational Spider-Man Annual #1 is one of my favorite books for a lot of reasons . But this is absolutely a tour de force for Mary Jane . With her and Peter on the run from S.H.I.E.L.D., she runs into someone who acted as her bodyguard once upon a time, and is now working for the organization . The entire issue is framed as him trying to talk her into running away with him, as he can 'save' her from Peter and being arrested . And the entire time, Mary Jane absolutely refuses to back down from defending Peter, and refusing to give him up . Even if it means being arrested herself .

The quote below? Absolutely chilling as much as it is outright inspiring. This is a person who knows exactly what can happen, and she would rather face every one of the consequences of such rather than betray someone in her life that she loves deeply.

There's countless other examples I could throw onto here as well, but we have only so much time, and I don't want this going too long.

[lucius-in-the-walls]

Confession: I'm a multishipper by trade, always have been, and I've been a casual buddie shipper for a couple years now. I still adore that ship even though bucktommy has taken over my brain. The reason why I almost exclusively interact with bucktommy content on here is that the buddie tag is full with ed content for some reason, and as someone who's been (successfully) battling bulimia, I just can't handle that.

[romanarose]

Ive seen TF boys on your page and I wanted to know you thoughts on how the moonboys would comfort and help a bulimic reader?

Hi love! Happy to give you come HC's for this <3

My inbox is currently closed as im working through old requests/ working on writing fics, but I wanted to do this one bc its a very important subject to my heart, with how bad my bulimia permanently destroyed my disgestive system and teeth

Moon Boys with a Bulimic reader

Warnings: Bulimia, vomit, food restriction, binging and purging NSFW refernces (bc its jake)

Steven Grant

He had to stay late tonight at work, some of his students were a little lost on the subject matter, so he held a study session before finals to allow everyone a chance to clarify. He had felt bad for missing dinner, of course, but he brought cake back as an apology

When you didn't answer, he saw the bathroom door was closed, and just figured you were in there bathing as you often did after diner

when he comes to the door to say hello and let you know there's cake, he hears you crying, and quickly opens the door, knowing your history with mental health problems and worrying you hurt yourself or were going to. He saw you crying against the wall, not even looking at him, and saw remnants of throw up in the toilet that hadn't all gone down with the first flush, he initially thought you were sick

"oh darling, here, let's get you to bed. Is it your stomach-" He paused as he saw your hand, red and scratched knuckles covered in throw up. Oh.

"I'm sorry" you cry "I'm fucking gross"

"No, no darling, you're not, here" Steven gets a wet towel and gently cleans your face and hands, as well as any mess you might have made. He washed his hands, then went to scoop you up. "C'mere love, lets rest, yeah?" And carried you over to the bed, not mentioning the cake he brought. Laying you down with a blanket and your favorite stuffed animal, he brought you water and asked you to drink it, knowing how purges dehydrate. He had read every book he could find on eating disorders, the health effects and treatment. He knew your addictive personality made things worse, harder to break out of habits.

"How long had this been going on again?" he asked

"Today was the first relapse" you answered, but he gave you a look like he didn't believe you "I swear! That's why I was crying... all the progress went to waste" You lip quivers trying to get the last few words out

Steven sits down with you, holding you tight, assuring you that this didn't detract from your progress, that progress isn't linear, and you are still his strong, beautiful girl.

He holds you tight that night, they two of you whispering with the sheets pulled over your head like children staying up too late at a sleep over, whispering about how much you loved each other

Will keep a careful eye on you, and definitely takes over the cooking to make you nutritious food, oh you want to help! Even better, love

Marc Spector

When you first approached Marc about going to the gym with him, he was elated! He was so excited about showing you around, teaching you how to use equipment, and of course spending more time with you!

So you started going with him every time he went, he even bought you cute workout clothes. That might have been a bit selfish on his part. He like checking you out, and he liked the way men stared at you, until they realized you were with him. The caveman part of his brain loved posturing, and he especially loved how you only ever had eyes for him, no matter the stronger, fitter men and women there.

Then you got really into it. Marc thought this was a bit odd, but was happy to spend the time training you.

First warning sign was when you started drinking protein shakes in lieu of breakfast. Not the end of the world, you were never a huge breakfast person. But when you stopped eating lunch in favor of the shakes, he confronted you. You insisted they were just easier, and tasted so good, you just preferred it.

Then there was the day he had to take you home early from the gym because you weighed yourself and found you hadn't lost weight, and you began crying, no matter how much he tried to explain that you were gaining muscle, which is denser than fat, and he was so proud of you for how much you could lift now!

You stuck to the treadmill and elliptical from then on, which Marc hated. He'd run with you for a bit, but then opted to do weights. although he stayed nearby in case anyone caused you problems, he missed working with you. He couldn't even really focus, watching you strain yourself and look miserable

The last straw was when he went to bring you water, and you refused to stop or slow down. In the middle of a argument while you ran, he watched your eyes go blank. Thinking quickly, he pressed the emergency button and caught you as you fell, the treadmill only managed to give a few rug burns on your legs and knees.

When you came to in his arms, you were greeted by his angelic face insisting you drink the water he had. He spoke soft, but obviously very distressed. He asked you how long it had been since you'd eaten. The frown on his face was deep as you watched his eyes start to tear up.

"Don't cry, please" you ask.

"You really scared me" He smiled at you.

Marc drove you insane after that. "did you eat today?" "what did you have?" "did you eat all of it?" this man did not know the meaning of sublty

He babied, and I mean babied the shit out of you

Fucker wouldn't even let you ride him

You gotta sit this man down and tell him to knock it off or you're gonna scream

You make a deal. You start going to counseling, he has to start taking you to the gym again (he wouldn't let you go alone, that's fir sure)

He agrees. You focus back on the weights, less on weight loss. (marc took the scale out of the house. You may or may no have found it shattered in the dumpster when you took the trash out. Marc has beef with all scales now.)

You enjoy the weights, you enjoy feeling strong, and you definitely enjoy using it to bring out Marc’s subby side

Jake Lockley

It's hard not to feel sexy with this man

The pet names and compliments are none stop. You've began to wonder if he forgot your actual name.

During sex, he takes the term body worship to a new level. This man's mouth and hands are e v e r y w h e r e

Why are his hand's all over your arms? Why is he kissing your calves when he's got your feet over his shoulders? Why does he suck hickies between your thighs? Why does he bite and squeeze your hip dip? you'll never know, but you love it

But you and him both know that sometimes, eating problems aren't about body image, but about control, and compulsions. And a little bit of body image because fuck, who doesn't struggle with that sometimes?

When he sees the warning signs, you hiding your body from him, not wanting to eat with him, generally being distant again, he always asks. He doesn't come on as intense as Marc with his protectiveness, but he will mentally keep track of your eating, and try to coax you into eating something if he see's you sipping meals. He has deficiently taken your car keys once, not because he was trying to keep you home, but because he didn't think you were safe to drive the busy streets.

Buys you literally anything he thinks might help. If its not about your body necessarily, he'll get you whatever you think might help you feel in control. Wanna craft? He'll build you a shelf and buy you all the fucking yarn in the world. Wana have a lil world you can control? Every sims pack you can imagine. Cat? Plants? A lizard? Fuck it, yeah, he'll buy you a lizard. Coolest lizard ever. He'll take lil charizard on a walk with you if thats what you want

All the boys

You're getting vitamins

And water!!! If you're throwing up, you're going to at least stay hydrated.

Bathroom lock is either taken out, or there's a spare key. Not out of control, no, they know you'll find a way to do it if you really want to, but in case of emergency

Will encourage therapy and medication, if you think it's right for you, maybe at least to try for a bit?

Never, ever, shame you for how you feel or act. You can tell them if you are having urges, need a distraction.

Steven and Jake make sure to keep Marc's protective nature in check, to make sure you aren't deterred from talking to them.

constantly shower you in praise and love and compliments

Always always always tell you how proud they are of you, even if you relapse, bc look how well you were doing! That means you can absolutely do it again!

I hope this was nice! I really love these 3 and I feel they would all be so supportive (even if marc might be a lil much sometimes XD It's okay, we love him <3 )

not tagging anyone today, but please be sure to comment/reblog if you liked this!

[jilyarchive]

Hello there, you gorgeous humans! can you please help me find a fic?

It's a fic where Lily has bulimia, and James helps her?? i don't remember if it was a multichapter but I'm sure i read it on ffn. What i do remember is James finds her at the toilet crying and asks her how long she's been harming herself and stuff and sits with her right there and helps her... Thanks in advance!

This may be it - obviously everyone be aware this fic gets a trigger warning from us for obvious reasons.  We haven’t read it, so make sure you’re careful if this could be triggering for you!

Title: Porcelain Author: SpazzAvalanche Rating: M Genre(s): Drama, Romance Chapters: 23 Word Count: 54,367 Summary: To James, Lily is beautiful, but she’ll never see it. Even as Lily starts to fall, she pushes him away. How can he make her see herself the way everyone else does, and keep her from self-destruction? WARNINGS: Anorexia/bulimia. M for adult situations (yes, that kind). Voldemort will make appearances and action will happen (remember he was thrice defied).

[sebsxphia]

trigger warning for those: vomiting, bulimia.

i used to make myself vomit. a lot. i haven't done it in a very long time for my benefit but i accidentally do it whenever i brush my teeth. ik it counts but i don't want it to ):

but other than that, i'm two months clean of making myself vomit.

OH MY BELOVED ANON!!!! I’M SO SO PROUD OF YOU 🥹🥹🥹🥹 <333

that’s a huge milestone and i’m so happy for you!!!!! look at us go, two months club!!!!!!! i’m wishing you all the best my beloved anon and sending you so many hugs and forehead smooches!!! 💖💗💓

[martian-martian-martian]

bulimia recovery is really. rough but one lighthearted element ive discovered is that because im so in tune to my body’s threshold, i can tell the LITERAL SECOND im done eating and if eat anymore my body will want to purge. this isnt to say ive literally eaten too much, it just means the standard my brain has set me at for You’re Fat Beyond This Line.

Anyway, because it’s so clear and visceral, I’ll end up mid bite and then out of nowhere just go ‘ptew ptew pleh pleh pleugh’ like a cartoon character that ate a bug.

[kosakamatsuko]

weighing 122 lbs now :p in my skinny era

[the-smallest-star]

how did you feel about Valentino suggesting Gritt vom Vox?

"Mildly irritated. Valentino and Velvette may benefit from my contract with Gritt, but he's ultimately mine."

"I've arranged for a nutritionist to examine him, as long as his overall appeal and image score remain high then I have no problem with him looking less like a scarecrow."

[imfartooobsessedwithkpop]

*sighs* gets vibrator to pass them time while restricting

[romanarose]

Do you have any thoughts about the TF boys with a reader with an ED? Only if you’re comfortable, but I noticed in Sunshine Stsrlight Sweetheart Brightside You mesntioned Sam having bulimia so I thought maybe you’d be okay taking about it

Hi!!!!! Yes I would love to give you some thoughts about this. I have suffered from bulimia since I was 17, and I got pretty rough, and like most people with ED I had history of disordered eating before, and with recovery. I hope this is what you're looking for!

Warnings: ed, bulimia, eating restriction, addiction, all that

Triple Frontier Boys with a Reader with an Eating Disorder

Warnings: Eating disorders, more bulimia and general ED focused bc I don't have the experience with anorexia to properly talk about it. I'll try not to get to detailed or triggering.

Santiago "Pope" Garcia

Santi has the least experience with this, I think. I think he'd be confused and probably worry he did something to make you feel like you needed to look different. Had inviting you to the gym with him done it? He had only said that because you mentioned wanting to work on your strength... the girl at the bar, she was flirting, but Santi had turned her down... What did he do? You see the worry on his face and tell him it's not him, it's something you've dealt with for a long time. This, of course, does not make him feel better, it only hurts him that you suffered so long. He'd take over a lot of the cooking, trying to make the most delicious and nutritious meals possible, and of course, anything you wanted to eat that day.

One day, when you quietly confess you don't feel like you deserve to eat that day, you want to cry at how hurt Santi looks. But Santi is practical. You live in Florida, so he suggests you enjoy the weather! He takes you on a nice walk around a few blocks, no phones so you can't count calories from the step tracking, and you can't tell how long you've been gone. Just you and Santi, taking a nice walk. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but it becomes a treasured part of your evening, so much so that you begin to do it every day before diner. If you still feel like you shouldn't eat, Santi coaxes you too take a few bites of some black beans or broccoli, just to get some nutrition, and gives your vitamins before bed. Even if you can barely get anything down, he tells you how proud he is of you, every single day.

Benny Miller

This may not be a popular head canon, but I HC Benny as being a wrestler in high school, and developing bulimia from it. This is likely show up when get to Ben's story in my LaL series (I really put this boy through it) but I think he denies ever having a problem. A bunch of the guys made themselves throw up before getting weighed before matches, what's the big deal? Well, that's terrible, but the big deal is that Benny wasn't just doing it before weigh-in's, he was doing it every day. Even so, when you finally spoke to him about your eating habits, he still didn't get it. He had reasons, his was justified, he rationed. You? You were perfect. You were beautiful in every way. He thought of how painful it was, how gross he felt, how his mind always reeled after, and he couldn't stand the thought of you going through the same thing.

"Why?" was the first thing he said.

It was hard to put into words. Control? Body image? Self-punishment? Maybe all of the above. I think Benny might struggle with this, not blaming you or anything like that, but it just hurt so bad to picture you that way, harming yourself like that. Benny might start off too much and too little. While he has discomfort around discussing it, due to his own unresolved issues, he's not going to just ignore it, although you feel like he is. Things like knocking on the door when you're taking a while in the bathroom. You can tell he's clearly stressed, but he won't talk about it. Eventually you figure out why, maybe he opens up or maybe you have to ask Will what's going on. Either way, he tells you what he went through. After you realize how difficult this was on him, and you two can have open communication, things get better, and you start to get better. It's much easier to talk to someone who relates, and Benny would rather stay up all night talking to you than let you suffer alone.

Will Miller

You don't tell Will. Will confronts you. In my head, Benny had an eating disorder, and of course Will knew, so he recognized the signs. Even if you don't HC Benny with bulimia, I think we all know Will is observant as shit. He'll notice the acne flaring up around your mouth, he'll see your red and bloody knuckles.

Eventually you break down and confess, after he presents the evidence to you. Will is practical, like santi, but more rigidl. He's the kind of guy who feels everything is A+B=C. With Benny, it worked. He convinced Ben to drop wrestling, got him lift weights and into basketball and football, eventually, he got better. They never even addressed it. But everyone is different. Will seems to think if he tells you you're beautiful, helps you eat right, works out with you and worships your body enough during sex, you'll just get better, but that's not it. When he realizes you're still doing it, he's frustrated. Not with you, but with himself. He keeps trying, and trying, and trying different things until you sit him down and spell it out. There isn't a magic cure. it's a battle, a long journey, and you don't need him to fix you, you need him to just be there. And so, he is. Whenever you need him, he's there. Oh, and the calling you beautiful constantly and the body worship? That doesn't stop.

Frankie Morales

Sweet, sweet, Frankie... I think his addiction messed with his eating. While on coke, he might not eat for long periods of time, then binge tf out of junk while detoxing/attempting recovery. This has lead to a lot of weight fluxuation, and bad eating habits (I don't mean this as in food is bad, I mean the inconsistent eating) I think when he finally got better, and he gained weight, he struggled with his own feelings of inadequacy. When he met you, and you loved him so much, every inch of him, he felt a part of him heal. Instead of skipping meals and late-night Taco Bell runs, he thrived on the consistency you gave him, cooking breakfast for you, eating lunch you packed, coming home to cook dinner with you.

So naturally, he worried you were sick when he noticed you eating less and less. You insisted you felt fine "better than ever!" he asked if you were nervous about something and lost your appetite, he even asked if you were pregnant one day. When you explained your history with eating to him, you confessed that you'd been really struggling lately, and apologize for worrying him. His sweet girl, he thinks, always so apologetic, always worried about being a burden. I think Frankie would be way to much at first. You'd never have a moments peace and at first its sweet, but sometimes it's too much. You have to insist on not being babied. Well, not completely anyway. You need to be able to take a piss alone. But if he wants to bring you breakfast in bed, well, you weren't complaining. Frankie makes sure you know how special you are to him, how you are his everything, how you saved him, and in turn, he'll be there for whatever you need.

I hope you liked this anon!! Always happy to talk about my babies

Tagging a few people who might also enjoy @kittyofalltrades @welcometostayingawake @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction and idk if you’ve watched triple frontier @juneknight but from our conversations, I thought you might like this!

[eggjaculations]

i wanna talk ab this bc i finally feel confident enough to even say anything at all on my weight but lemme go. in hs i felt the most beautiful i ever did at 135 lbs. i’m 5’3”, so that really was the perfect weight for a 17 year old as active as i was, on birth control, and considering everything else in my life. i wasn’t bony, i wasn’t by any means overweight, and i knew it! i’m very very glad i had that experience, too, because after i turned 18 i started dropping weight really quickly. i had sort of slowly tapered off my amount of exercise until it was solely how much i worked everyday and danced every night. by the time i was 19 i was completely underweight at ab 105 lbs. i looked really skinny and a lot of people commented on it. a lot of people also told me they wished they were me. a lot more people told me that. pretty much only my family worried about my weight loss and tried to help by maybe not the best means, but all my friends were envious. and i am absolutely not blaming them, that’s the point of this post actually. they just saw what models looked like and assumed that’s the peak. it’s really not. im not gonna lie, i looked really “good” that skinny! it was the “right” amount of hip bone and the “appropriate” amount of shoulder and collarbone sticking out. and i hate that now. i hate it so much that we convey this idea of skinny women as so “peak” that we subconsciously starve ourselves even when we look like this because it’s “kinda hot tho.” i’m 23 now and i’m back up to about 105 lbs. yea. back up. it did get worse, and this past july i was 97 lbs and looking healthier than i had previously. i don’t know exactly, bc i avoid scales at all cost anyway, but i can predict i got down to about 90 lbs. i was literally skin and bones. depressed. addicted to multiple substances. i wanna say to anyone who does see themselves in this post (if anyone sees this post) that it gets better and it keeps getting better. i’m 107 lbs usually, and if i’ve eaten and exercised for a good period i’ll get up to 112 lbs! sometimes i get down to 100 lbs if i forget to eat. i just didn’t get “hungry” for literally years unless it was to harmfully binge and then puke it all up, but now it’s moreso “why is my stomach growling tf is this empty feeling” and then drinking water and eating some chocolate until i can make myself something i enjoy and savor (which is a fantastic hack for anyone struggling with making/eating meals btw!!) but it feels weird to have to train myself to enjoy eating the way i did before. but i do now :) i indulge very mindfully by making tea and eating things like graham crackers with curd and different jellies. trader joe’s has amazing things you can just pop in and really enjoy. i love eating i love indulging i love gaining weight in my face and arms and the sides of my butt and my thighs and i even love that i kinda have cankles again!!! i love it all!!! i’m gaining weight in weird places and i feel really sexy and hot and soft and pretty and cute and womanly and filled out and full and whole!!! and i want every woman and man and person no matter how you present or identify yourself, but most importantly no matter your size, perceived or actual, all y’all, i want every single one of y’all to all know rn that you are capable of having this, perfectly deserving of it, and that it just genuinely takes a long time. you might not even notice it’s happening. i been on the up and up for a couple years now!!! and i’m only just noticing the progress those two years have been, despite the many times i felt like or truly had taken a few steps back. i have made progress, and i still am, and so are you!!! right now whether u realize it or not, every moment is progress. you see, your body simply can’t help it!!! on some cells at work type shit rn, your physical body is always trying it’s best to protect, heal, and defend YOU, and you don’t even have to think about that all the time :) so next time you think ab that cake, eat it. your body told you it wanted it for a reason. have some. savor it. you deserve it.

[hakeem0n]

Me after eating

[dreamdropsystemarchive]

we're getting bad again..