#The fact that this just doesn't quite go far enough in embracing the stupid and the crazy.

[notfreetoday]

Guilt is a parasite that feeds on Team and eats away at him from the inside. It's the reason for Team's insecurity, his lack of self-worth and his difficulty with accepting affection. He doesn't stand up for himself, doesn't believe in himself, doesn't for a second think he's worth fighting for. Win promised to be there for him, but Team doesn't even remember it, because he's never placed any weight in those words. What is there to "be there for"? Team? But Team is lazy, is stupid. Unless it's about swimming, Team doesn't see himself as good for anything.

Because Team's Guilt erases him.

Like his mother says, Team must learn to forgive himself - but knowing is different from understanding. Just like his aunt, Team has not moved on from his trauma. He is not ready to forgive himself, because forgiveness is hard. Forgiveness means letting go of the chance to make things right. It means facing up to the fact that the slate will never actually be wiped clean, that the wounds and the hurt you caused will never ever be undone. No, punishment is much easier, because serving punishment offers us the illusion of righting our wrongs. Maybe one day, when Team's worked hard enough, P'Ton will forgive him. Maybe one day, his Aunt will smile at him again. Maybe, just maybe, if Team's been punished enough then one day the score will be settled and Team will finally have earned the right to live for himself.

And so until he has paid his dues, the only thing Team's Guilt permits him to do is to struggle to stay afloat. To make his entire life so far be about trying to make up for what he's done, about trying to fulfill P'Ton's dream and his promise. He brings his gold medal to P'Ton's grave, but all that greets him is silence and emptiness.

"Are you still mad at me? Have you forgiven me?" Team has asked these questions so many times he probably doesn't even notice the gaping hole inside him filled with tears. Except this time, he's faced with his Aunt's grief and her inability to move on from her son's death and somehow her lack of condemnation seems even harder to bear and suddenly the bandages Team's so carefully placed on all his wounds have now come undone and they bleed anew as the guilt and shame of living crashes down on him once more.

This time, Team doesn't even bother directing his anger through P'Ton anymore - he cuts directly into himself, because it has never been P'Ton who was angry at him; it has always been Team himself. Team is angry that he lived and P'Ton died, that nothing he does will ever be enough, and ashamed that he even thinks it might be. Because how dare he? How dare he try to live for himself when he's already stolen the very air that he breathes?

But that's just it - Team still tries to survive. He still makes friends, he still asks for affection, he still reaches out to Win, like a sunflower reaching toward the sun, because he shamelessly wants to live even as he knows he doesn't deserve to. Even as he knows he should be struggling and suffering and doing everything he can to make up for just how wrong he is, Team still wants to live. And that's why he calls Hia Win. Because it was Win who breathed life into him again, who gave Team permission to live when he pulled him out of the pool and made Team promise never to endanger himself again.

And so in that moment when Hia comes to him in the cemetery, the headlights of his motorbike quite literally shining a light on Team in the darkness of the pouring rain - in that moment Team no longer denies himself his claim to life.

He turns and his voice cracks and even the timbre of his sobs change as he starts crying in earnest, like how a scared, lost child does when they're finally found. He clutches at Win and leans into him, calling out to him as if afraid Hia will somehow miss him and Guilt will once again twist around his leg and drag him down below.

And so when Hia tells him "Let's go back home" Team turns away from Ton's grave and into Hia's embrace, because Hia promised, and now Team remembers.

[seerfawn]

Babe wake up!! I have a question for you about elain!! What 3 things do you think elain would never forgive from anyone, let it be friend, loved ones or lover? 👀

euge, i love you for most things but especially this.

i'm on a big sister kick right now so, the first thing e.lain would never forgive someone for is hurting her sisters. whether it be physical or mental, once you cross that line and e.lain learns of it, it's game over. even if f.eyre or n.esta got over it, e.lain would accept their feelings on the matter, be diplomatic if need be, but she wouldn't let it go. even if the other person grovels with her for whatever reason, i just don't see her caring. (which is why the tam.lin/el.ain mate theory blows my actual mind because in what world would that ever work?)

the second is anyone who makes her feel stupid or less than!!!!! after being raised to be looked at essentially as a doll, who was no more than a pretty face, e.lain definitely has to overcome the fact that someone might not think she's intelligent or that she doesn't care very much because she's introverted. i think a lot of who e.lain is actually comes down to the fact that no one saw her but now she sees all. to me, she's intuitive and highly emotionally intelligent on top of her gifts. if someone speaks to her or treats her like she's off in 'another realm,' she will very much say: yes i am, and what of it? let e.lain be an ominous, all-knowing little freak. she deserves it. i don't know if she'd never forgive someone for those things, but she definitely won't want to interact or have a relationship with said person.

the last is definitely anyone who won't allow her to make her own choices. period. if someone tries to dictate what she'll do, eventually, it will be a major problem. i think as she embraces who she is and what her powers are more, e.lain will have no patience for people who want to order her around. even if that means causing problems. we all hear about how the middle child is often the overlooked one, and while e.lain always had attention, she wasn't seen in the way she necessarily wanted to be. or maybe as a young girl she was okay with her treatment enough to stomach it because she had to but now, especially in being a seer, she wants people to understand who she is and what she wants. i don't know how the mating bond will go in canon and quite frankly, i don't care. because to me, (and most e.lain writers i think), she won't just give in to a romantic relationship for the sake of politics. if someone tries to push her into doing something she doesn't agree with, she won't stand for it and will try to stay as far away from those people as possible. she wouldn't forgive someone for looking her in the face, for hearing her feelings, and telling her too bad, you're wrong.

[kiranogareru]

STAR GAZING

WARNING: Language, but this is all fluffyyyy

A/N: I present to you, my first requested work. Dedicated to @mysticmaee I apologize for taking so long, I hope this meets your expectations. Enjoy and again I'm so so sorry it took me so long

Y/n and Bakugou -as much as he refuses to admit it- have been pretty good friends for a while and they recently started dating

Katsuki is well aware of the fact that he isn't all that good at this whole relationship thing!

He knows how a relationship is supposed to be like, he's read all those things about them in novels before and even though they appeared unrealistically perfect to him, Bakugou couldn't help but compare himself and feel inferior to those fictional men and their romancing abilities!

He has observed how well Y/N seems to be fitting the role of a girlfriend and has taken mental notes of the way she always shows him how she feels, whether that's through words or affectionate little gestures, such as simply holding his hand!

Bakugou has never really been the type for physical contact, one could even say he is quite touch starved in all honesty, which makes him a little bit timid to show her his appreciation that way, since it makes him feel uncomfortable and it gives him this weird fluttery feeling inside

The blonde thinks back to the short time they have shared as a couple and how sweet Y/n has been to him, even before, when they were just friends and he insisted on pushing her away!

Bakugou is suddenly left dumbstruck, when he comes to realize that he never even asked her out properly! She just kind of blurted out her feelings and he simply claimed her as his..and by his, he means his one weakness, but of course it goes without saying that he would never reveal that!

He then decides that he wants to try harder. He knows he can do better 'I can be the best boyfriend she's ever had, I'll be her number one!' he tells himself

'She put so much effort into approaching me and I know I made it even more difficult -I can't help it, that's just how I am- but the least I can do is put in just as much effort, it's only fair!'

He doesn't want to be a shitty boyfriend, because for 1 he knows that's not what she deserves and 2 he's the best, he's not one of those stupid extras, who would let her slip right through their fingers!

'It's time I finally lowered my defenses' he thinks, although he's still hesitant of showing his softer side and unsure of what that can possibly lead to

Katsuki walks in silence as he rakes his brain for a way to make it up to Y/n for the way he's been so far.

It's not like he's treating her bad or anything, as a matter of fact he is at his calmest when he's around her and all he does is admire the way her beautiful e/c eyes sparkle when she's focused on something she enjoys, or how her face lights up when she's happy, or he revels in the taste of her lips against his own whenever they share an unexpected kiss!

This warm feeling spreads throughout his chest and blood rushes to his cheeks, tinting them with a shade of pink, at the thought of the memories!

That's when it hits him and the perfect idea pops up in his head. If he's learnt anything from romance novels, it's the fact that every relationship starts with a date!

And that's something they haven't done yet, which gives Katsuki the opportunity to change that!

"Katsu?" Y/n stops in her tracks, making him break out of his trance and do the same

"You zoned out, is everything ok?" She asks with a soft smile, placing a hand on his cheek

"Tch, everything's fine dumbass, I'm just thinking" Bakugou returns the smile, resting his hand at the back of her neck, gently pulling her head closer and leaning in to leave a chaste kiss on her forhead

Y/n is left speechless and her cheeks burn up at the sudden action, Bakugou doesn't usually behave this way, especially not in public!

'I don't know what he's been thinking about, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with this adorable change' She ponders

Y/n is quick to wrap her arms around him and bury her face in his chest, inhaling the scent of burnt caramel and cologne -something that she's grown so accustomed to, that it now brings her comfort

Bakugou's eyes widen in surprise and he lets out a breath as he relaxes, bringing one hand to her head as his other one makes it's way to her back to hold her close

They stand there in each other's embrace for a bit, before they decide to continue their walk to the dorms, hand in hand

•••

Once they reach the dorms, they catch the attention of a few of their classmates and friends. It's only logical though, since a smiling Bakugou Katsuki is not a sight one could easily miss!

The rest of the day goes by pretty quick as usual, since everyone is studying either alone or in groups, but once that's out of the way most of the students normally spend their free time by engaging in their hobbies of choice

While Y/n is hanging out with Jirou in the purple haired girl's room, singing and having a good time, Bakugou takes that chance to go to the kitchen and set his plan in motion

He has all the time he needs to prepare a few things for later

While the ruby eyed boy is in the middle of cooking, Sero walks into the kitchen, Kaminari following close behind him

"Kacchan?!" Kaminari exclaims in surprise

"Hm?" Katsuki turns around and realizes he has an audience

"How come you're cooking today?" Sero questions in confusion

It's not uncommon for the explosive boy to cook for his classmates, but he had done so just a few days ago already, that's what didn't sit right with Sero

"All of you extras cook like shit, tonight we're having some actual food!" Bakugou's voice remains low in volume, but his usual aggression is evident in his tone

"It smells amazing, what is it?" Sero technically drooling as he walks over to check

"I bet it's something spicy!" Kaminari declares, knowing his friend's taste

"Damn right Dunce Face! Let's hope you idiots can handle it this time! Tch" Bakugou tries to mask the smile forming on his face with his signature, cocky, smirk

"Kaminari.." Sero gives the electric blonde a look

"I know right!" Kaminari laughs, returning the look

"What are you idiots on about?" Bakugou raises an eyebrow

•••

As soon as the table is set and dinner is served, the students pick up on something unusual

"Hm? Where did Bakubro go?" Kirishima points out, while looking around the room

Kaminari and Sero stand back to back with a hand on their chin and wearing a knowing expression of confidence on their faces! The sparkles surrounding them are technically visible at this point

"What do you know? Spill the tea!" Mina interrogates with a pointed look

"Has anyone seen Y/n? I thought I saw her come downstairs earlier.." Jirou asks, seemingly popping up out of nowhere

"They are probably fu-" Sero wraps Mineta up using his tape with an unbothered face

"Shut up you nasty grape!" He scolds "They are on a date! We are sure of it!" He continues pridefully

"Who knew Bakugou could be so good with the ladies, right!" Kaminari comments, almost in disbelief

Meanwhile Y/n is comfortably sitting on a blanket behind the dorms with Bakugou. The night air feels cool on her skin, but not cold enough to give her goosebumps. It is rather refreshing if anything

They place their now empty dishes on the tray that's sitting in front of them and Bakugou pushes it aside

"That was delicious!" A look of content spreading on her features

"Hm, of course it was!" He cocky voice sounds. A winning smile playing on his lips

"Katsuki, this is so sweet..thank you" Y/n softly speaks, tilting Bakugou's head slightly with a hand on his cheek and leaving a feather-like kiss on the other

"You don't need to thank me dumbass..you deserve it!" His tone calm and loving

Bakugou lifts his hand and places it over her smaller one that is resting on his face

They lie down on the blanket, eyes staring at the wide night sky, littered with sparkling gems

"That one reminds me of you!" The excitement clear in her voice as she points at the sky

"How can a star remind you of me dumbass?" His laughs in amusement

"The way it shines looks like an explosion, it's powerful and beautiful!" Her explanation flusters the blonde momentarily, but he gathers himself and starts looking for the perfect star

"That one right there is you then!" He gestures towards it

"Is it now? How can a star remind you of me eh?" She teases

"It stands out, it's so bright and has such a stong presence!"

"Katsu..you idiot" She murmurs feeling bashful

"Huh who are you calling an idiot, idiot?"

Y/n intertwines her hand with his and Bakugou tenses up!

He still isn't used to the gentle gesture, since he has always perceived his hands as weapons, however as he eases into it he starts rubbing small circles on the back of her hand with his thumb

"This side of you is so soothing, so intoxicating~" She smiles before continuing

"I'm so lucky to be the one who gets to see you so peaceful..Dynamite" He is caught off guard by the mention of his hero name, which only she knows this far

The first reaction that comes to his mind is to kiss her and his body acts just as fast, pulling both her and himself to sit up and doing exactly that

His lips connect to hers in an uncharacteristically slow and passionate kiss! It is as if Bakugou is pouring everything that he can't put into words in this kiss!

He pulls away with his confidence restored

"Do you want to be mine?"

"I'm my own person idiot and we're already dating!" She laughs, knowing what he meant, but wanting to mess with him regardless

"I know that dumbass! You think I would date some sort of weakling?" He asks matter-of-factly

"I'm already yours and you're all mine!" She boasts

"Damn right!" Bakugou cups her face in one hand, tilting it upwards and leaning down slightly to capture her lips with his once more

[gay-otlc]

Empty Space

Oh? What's that? You were having a good day? Not anymore. Have some post-Flashback solreef family angst :D

Content warning for kidnapping, grief, cursing, can't really think of anything else?

Word count: 1497

Read on AO3 (if the link doesn't work this time I will commit a felony)

Linh is crying, and Wylie is aware that he should comfort her, but he doesn’t. Just sits there, perfectly still. Too stunned to move. Something’s not registering in his head, the words Tam and kidnapped are too incompatible. They absolutely can’t go in the same sentence, but they were definitely together when Sophie calmed down enough to explain what happened. And he knows that his life has been batshit, especially since Sophie came into it, but this… this is too much. Marella walks over and puts an arm around Linh, and Linh sinks into her girlfriend’s embrace like she'll die if she lets go. She whispers meaningless comforting words, well aware of how little they help.

Wylie's aware he should join in on the hug. He's too busy being numb to play the role of a caring older brother.

Maybe if he was better that this “brother” thing, he could have protected Tam.

In the distance, the Vackers are yelling at one another about Alvar. He can’t bring himself to care. The other three continue their argument as Biana storms over to Wylie, tears on aer cheeks, and sinks down next to him.

“This sucks,” ae mutters, picking up a twig from the ground and breaking it in half. Ae throws the pieces as far as they can go. Is ae angry? Ae doesn't even know right now. Ae just wants it to stop.

”This sucks,” Wylie agrees, and his voice sounds hollow. It’s the first time he’s spoken since he got the news.

Biana pulls out a fistful of grass. As ae shreds it, ae says “I’m sorry about Tam.” That's something ae hasn't even gotten around to grieving yet. After Alvar? It's just too much, so ae shoves it far away to deal with later. Ae'll miss Tam, though, the quiet boy who cared so much even if he isn't always the best at showing it. Even so, ae could tell he loved Wylie, and Wylie loved him, and- ae's sorry, that's all ae can say.

Wylie's surprised to hear himself say ”I’m sorry about Alvar.” It feels strange, offering condolences to a Vacker. Yesterday, he might have laughed at the thought. But right now? Ae isn't Alden Vacker's daughter, and he isn't Prentice Endal's son. Ae's just someone grieving aer brother and he's someone grieving his.

They sit there for... neither of them really knows how long, it could be two minutes or two hours, when Marella walks over, half carrying Linh. "Is it okay if she comes over to my house?" Linh won't leave her, won't risk losing another person.

Is it okay, what a stupid question. Nothing's okay. But Wylie nods.

"Bi, want to come?" Marella asks.

It's better than going back to Everglen, joining the rest of aer probably-still-fighting family, so ae nods and lets Marella pull aer to aer feet. Wylie watches them leap away before the thought crosses his mind that his dads must be worried and he can't just sit on the grass forever.

When he walks back into Solreef, Tiergan’s face lights up. Xe'd been trying to keep xyr mind off of the fact that xyr kids might be in danger, and utterly failing. Relief washes over him. "You're okay," xe says, and Wylie realizes that xe doesn't know. Of course he doesn’t, but until now, it hadn’t quite hit Wylie that he would have to tell his dads what happened to Tam. Tell them that he's not okay, that Tam is gone and of course it's not okay. But he's silent as Tiergan shakes Prentice, asleep on xem. “Wake up.” Not wanting to wake up, he holds up a middle finger. Tiergan chuckles. “Wylie’s back, wake up and say hello to your son.”

Prentice actually opens his eyes at that. He smiles and rushes over to hug Wylie. Somehow, the gesture makes him tear up, so he pulls back. “Linh went over to Marella’s house.”

His dads nod, glad for the explanation. “Tam’s with her?” Tiergan asks to confirm. Wylie looks down as he shakes his head, unable to make eye contact.

”Where is Tam?” Prentice asks. Judging by the look on Wylie's face, it can't be good. He reaches out to squeeze Tiergan's hand.

He opens his mouth, but instead of an explanation, a sob slips out. Then another. Then he’s finally crying and Prentice is wrapping him in a hug and Tiergan joins and his dads are here for him but it doesn’t matter because Tam’s not here and his family is still broken. He should probably explain, he knows, but he doesn’t say any of that. Tiergan shoots a panicked glance over Wylie’s head. Prentice, equally unsure as to what the hell is going on, transmits What? Xe only shrugs. Worst case scenarios swirl through his head, panic pulsing through his veins. "Wylie? What happened?" Prentice asks, voice unsteady.

Wylie steps back and takes a deep, shaky breath. Whatever Tiergan was expecting, it was not for him to say "Tam's with the Neverseen. He didn't- didn't have a choice."

Before the words even finish registering, xe laughs. Which is not the reaction he should have, he knows; who hears that their son got kidnapped and reacts by laughing? There's no humor in it, only bitterness, as xe drags xyr hand down xyr face. "Fuck!" He shakes his head as if that can expel the idea of Tam, gone. "This can't- this can’t be happening. Fuck." Weight settles on xyr shoulder, and xe's vaguely aware that it's Prentice's hand, but cannot bring himself to care.

He wraps xem into a hug and tries to say something, anything, but whatever bullshit condolences he was about to give die in his throat. Instead, he echoes Tiergan's sentiment. "Fuck."

"I can't keep doing this," he chokes out, voice muffled into the fabric of his shirt. "I cannot keep losing people!"

"I know, we've- haven't we been through enough already?" Fuck, just when Prentice thought he was about to catch a break. After having your sanity shattered, missing out on over half your son's life, learning said son had a band of murderers after him, who had already murdered your wife... one would think the universe would finally let you be happy with the family you'd cobbled together, but no. What they had, they were a fucking family, and now they had lost a part of it.

When Linh stumbles into Solreef, she half expects Tam to be curled up reading in his usual armchair. Which is stupid, and she knows it's stupid, but that doesn't stop her from hoping for it. Or from flinching when she realizes he's not there. Instead, Wylie is sitting there, knees curled to his chest, and Prentice is perched on the arm of the chair, an arm around his son. Tiergan is glaring at Forkle through his imparter and muttering, but Linh can't bring herself to care what exactly xe's saying. She walks over to Wylie instead, sitting on his other side.

Prentice blinks, only just processing that she's here. "Thank goodness you're safe," he says, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder. She nods. It's nice to know he cares, but she's not quite as glad that she's safe. Even though it would also mean being with a group of murderers, she wishes she could be with her brother.

Tiergan is dangerously close to throwing his imparter across the room. "What is the point of being in charge if you're always gonna elect to never fucking do anything!? My son is with the Neverseen and your solution is to 'sit tight and assess the situation.' Any other fantastic advice? Gonna pull an Alden and tell me there's no reason to worry?" Before he can respond to that, xe hangs up.

"I imagine Forkle's being as helpful as ever?" Wylie mumbles, knowing the answer before Tiergan nods.

"Somehow even worse." He rubs xyr eyes. "Linh, I... it's good to have you back."

Unlike Tam. No one says it, but they're all thinking the words.

Eventually, Prentice insists they try to get some sleep, even though he knows full well it will not work for anyone. Linh's bedroom feels so damn empty without Tam. Their whole life, they've never not shared a room. When they moved into Solreef, Tiergan offered to give them separate rooms, but they both declined. And now he's... she doesn't even know where he is, could be on the other side of the fucking world, and Linh is here, and they've never felt further apart. Without Tam snoring, this room is too quiet, and all Linh can hear is her roaring thoughts, worrying what could have happened to him in the mere hours he's been gone, and would could happen the longer it takes to rescue him.

The house that was finally starting to feel like a home, people who were finally starting to feel like a family, now has a gaping hole in it. The empty space is suffocating.

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 23)

Sorry. It's been a hot second... I missed a day because I got so busy with school that I actually forgot to update and also I just didn't have the time anyway. It's definitely not the end of the world but I'll post on Friday as well to make up for missing Monday.

In this part, we'll complete the Time-Travel Arc. Mikan makes a big choice and Natsume has to deal with the fact that he's the only one who can't dedicate himself to waiting, because he doesn't have enough time to, especially if Mikan won't be around.

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty

They’ve just seen Yuka finally give birth to Mikan.

Natsume has been by Mikan’s side this whole time, because he doesn’t want to be anywhere else.

But she’s about to make an announcement, because she’s decided something. Natsume looks shocked, almost like he knows what is even before she’s said it, but she is interrupted by another one of his coughing fits. He’s not the kind of person who’d want others to watch him suffer.

My throat hurts just looking at him.

When we first met Natsume, he went on frequent visits to the hospital. He was in a state of particular illness when he was kidnapped by Reo. After that, we saw the condition he was in while in bed during the Kaname/Bear chapter. I’d said then that Natsume was always in that much pain, but he managed to keep it to himself and tough it out until he was by himself in his room at night. Even after, when Tsubasa first finds out, he’s able to mostly keep it to himself.

Natsume is the kind of person who wants to keep his suffering to himself. He doesn’t like being caught with blood in his palm or dripping out of his nose. But he’s been getting worse and worse and he can’t keep up with his body anymore. He can’t always tough it out and pretend like he’s fine until he’s all alone anymore. He’s coughing more and more. His body can’t take it anymore. He’s in significantly worse shape now than he was when we first met him, and he was already dying then too.

The fact that he can’t hold it back, even in such an important moment when Mikan is about to make an important announcement, even when he’s surrounded by people, just goes to show how much suffering he’s in and how much worse it’s getting.

He brushes it off, like he always does, hiding his blood and reaching for the healing alice stone around his neck. He doesn’t want the attention on him, especially not for the sake of his stupid dying body.

But Kaoru has collapsed when running from the Academy pursuers. Yuka feels responsible, especially since Kaoru is in an especially vulnerable, pregnant state. So she gives Kaoru the alice stone she received from little Subaru. This is the same alice stone that Natsume just used for relief. It has passed many hands to end up in Natsume’s possession.

In the next scene they’re shown, Kaoru is struggling more than ever. They’re being pursued and Kaoru collapses again. Yuka finally realizes it: that Kaoru has the fourth type of alice, and she’s dying. She urges Kaoru to go easy on herself, for the sake of everyone, and then teleports away, unwilling to let her best friend suffer for her anymore.

We see a little flashback of Natsume getting Subaru’s alice stone for the first time. Kaoru gives it to him since she can see right away that he’s like her, getting sick whenever he uses his alice. It’s to protect him in her stead, because she knows that her life has a time limit on it. She then tells him he has to take care of his father and sister, and although she had nothing but good intentions, entrusting such a huge responsibility to a child, one that is already suffering with a life-shortening alice shape, can be damaging. And from what we know about Natsume, we know that he took all those words to heart and made it his only life’s mission to protect the people he loves, to the detriment of his own life and health.

Natsume has seen a great deal of his mother just now, and he’d never felt so close to her before. This is more than he’d ever known. He didn’t know about her bond with Yuka, or the true extent that Kaoru went through for her friend.

But Mikan is looking at him, and she’s obviously putting pieces together. So she asks him if he’s the same as his mother.

Natsume never wants anyone to worry about him. We know for a fact that he’s dying. We know that his body is in terrible shape. But Mikan is already crying, just at the thought of what he’s been suffering through. If he were to be honest now, as blunt as possible, then he would just be more of a burden. He doesn’t want her worrying about her and that’s more important than being honest. All he wants is to comfort her and minimize the pain she feels to the best of his ability.

LIAR!

So he hugs her again, and tells her that he won’t die, that he will not leave her.

But this moment isn’t all about comforting Mikan. He wants to live too. He doesn’t want to die. He promises that he’ll make it because he wants to believe it too. A long time ago, more than a hundred chapters ago, Natsume was willing to blow himself up so that his suffering could finally come to an end. He didn’t see any more value in his life. All he ever did was burden people around him. He felt like he couldn’t protect anybody, like all did was drag the people he loves into darkness. When he met Mikan, that changed. She talked about his future like he had one and even though he’s been resisting, ever since, he’s also seen it. He desperately wants what he’s always forbidden himself. He can’t have even half of what Yuka had dreamt of: getting married and starting a family with someone you love, making a warm home.

Of course he’d like that too! But he won’t make it. His whole life, he’s known he wouldn’t make it. Why waste his time trying anyway? Why waste the girl’s time just to break her heart? He won’t be able to live that long, so he’s distanced himself from everyone. He won’t make friends or really try with the girl he loves because it would be for nothing. From the beginning he tried to accept that and just deal with it, but the longer he knew Mikan and the further he fell in love with her, the harder that was to stick with. How can you give up on something that your whole heart is screaming for? He wants to live. He wants to be with Mikan, as long as he can.

He’s not making this promise out of callousness. He’s making it because he wants it to be true. He doesn't want to break it. He wants to be able to have a future.

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-One

Natsume and Mikan are hugging. She’s crying, because she doesn’t want him to die. He’s promising he won’t go, because he also doesn’t want to die. But they’re not alone. He looks up at Ruka and immediately feels guilt.

It's been nice seeing the return of Natsume&Ruka again... The gap arc and even the Sports Fest really lacked their dynamic and it always bothers me how little they interact during that time. Seeing Ruka now stick up for Natsume and consider his feelings watching the flashbacks regarding Kaoru, and now giving Natsume his blessing... It's just nice to have my favorite friendship back.

So far, Natsume has done his all to be Team Ruka. He wants his best friend to be happy, for the girl he loves to be happy, so why not together? They deserve happiness. He has forbidden himself from even considering that Mikan could ever choose him. He can’t make anybody happy, after all. All he does is drag people into darkness, steal their smiles away like he did to Ruka, leave them unprotected like he did to Aoi, leave them all alone and lonely like he did to his father. But he can’t leave the embrace now.

He looks at Ruka with guilt because he is sorry. He really did try not to end up like this.

I get a little confused with this, but it's made clear at the beginning of the arc that the time window makes it possible for telepathic conversations, so we know for sure that Natsume is hearing these words from Ruka, receiving his blessing, but it also looks like Mikan can hear it too, and perhaps everyone else. How the heck would I know! Whatever. The possibility of her hearing will be covered in the next POV essay. Why does Mikan keep trying to weasel her way into Natsume's chapter anyway? Stay in your lane, Mikan. You'll have your turn!

But Ruka doesn’t want Natsume to be sorry. He loves Natsume too. And if he can’t be with the girl he loves, then he would want her to be with Natsume, who loves her too, who prioritizes her happiness. He would want her to be with Natsume, because she makes him happy and gave him a reason to live. Natsume wouldn’t make that kind of promise and want to mean it if he hadn’t met Mikan. So Ruka urges Natsume to stop holding back. He’d been resisting for so long, not being honest and not doing what he wanted to this whole time because he always put everyone else’s happiness above his own.

But the flashbacks continue, and Yuka has no choice but to give Mikan up, so that her daughter will not suffer the way she has. All she wants is for Mikan to be safe and happy, so she lets her go and suffers on her own.

Mikan has made her decision, but everyone already knew it would end up this way. She will leave the academy to be with her mother.

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Two

Facing the news, Natsume is shocked. He knew it would end with Mikan choosing to leave with Yuka too, but he really didn’t want it to be like this.

Hotaru and Tsubasa and Ruka and everyone else can promise to meet Mikan again in the future, no matter how long it takes. But if Mikan isn’t there, what kind of future has Natsume been looking forward to?

Watch this, Lis! You can actually pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half!

Natsume isn’t selfish, though. He won’t say anything. He stays silent because it wouldn’t be fair. But this is the saddest that he’s been in quite some time. He’s heartbroken. If she leaves, he won’t ever see her again. He will die. He doesn’t have eternity to promise her, even if he wants to.

She looks at him to say sorry that it has to be this way, but Natsume’s feelings show on his face and she crumbles too. He won’t say anything, because he genuinely doesn’t want to make this harder for her than it already is, but even for someone like him, who always puts himself dead last, it’s hard to not feel these feelings of heartbreak.

I have a lot of love for this arc, especially because of the parallels. It’s pretty clear that Natsume got his looks and a lot of personality traits from Kaoru. He looks just like her, if a lot less smiley, and he’s also prone to dry humor and teasing his friends when he’s in a good mood. But the darker elements of his personality--like his tendency to give everything up and the fact that he’s suffered his entire life--have so much in common with Yuka, too. I’m sure Natsume noticed the similarities too.

Yuka had to give Mikan up to protect her, even though she loves her more than anything, even though all she really wanted was to start a family with her. Yuka’s future will never be what she wanted it to be. She will never be able to watch Mikan grow up. She has to give it up for Mikan’s sake.

"I couldn't protect her in any way but to let her go." - Natsume from the moment he fell in love with Mikan (it's actually a Yuka quote jsyk, I'm just making a connection). Why didn't we ever get a real Natsume-Yuka interaction? I've been robbed.

And Natsume gives Mikan up too, even though all he wants is a future with her, even though he loves her more than anything. Just like Yuka, his future will not be a pleasant one. They give up their own little pocket of sunshine so that the sunshine doesn’t get bogged down by the darkness they have to live in all the time. There is too much dark for light like that to survive.

The next scene that we see is Kaoru on the run, driving as fast as she can from some pursuers. Yuka just wants Kaoru to be safe, but it’s not to be. Her car crashes into a bus or a truck and her life ends.

Natsume has no choice but to watch it happen. Natsume isn’t as emotive as Mikan. He doesn’t run to the window to keep it from happening. He doesn’t collapse onto the floor. He simply stands there and keeps all the pain to himself. He wants to be the person Mikan can rely on for comfort, but he would never turn to somebody else for comfort, to burden them with his sadness. He won’t do it for his heartbreak, and he won’t do it for his mother’s death. He just takes it all on his own, because he always does. Besides, he always knew this would happen.

Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Three

He wants to just take it all on his own, but almost everyone is worried about him. Unfortunately, Natsume doesn’t even have a moment of mourning for himself before the topic is suddenly changed to the Z boss. I understand that in universe they might be feeling stressed for what’s happening back in the present, and all the questions anybody brings up are important to talk about, but I do personally resent this a little. Natsume doesn’t even have the time to be comforted by anybody because the moment is suddenly on anything and everything else. Just like Mikan, he had to watch a parent die, but nobody’s had the time to hold him. Even if he wouldn’t let them worry, I’d rather see what would happen when his friends try. If there was just a little more time spent on Natsume’s reaction to it, and his friends wanting to comfort him, I’d feel better. As it is, the scene simply moves on as though it hardly matters. Not my favorite transitional moment in the arc, for sure.

So Mikan got many pages of rightfully being able to cry and mourn her father but Natsume gets this one page for his mother before everyone changes the subject? Jeez, Natsume, it happened like ten years ago! When are you gonna just get over it already?! I guess on the next page. Everyone else does, after all. :/

Although there was hardly any time for Natsume to mourn his mother (I’m still salty), Tono makes sure to take the time so everyone can give Mikan an alice stone for the future. Everyone tries to make her a stone, and they all vary in size and shape. Mikan catches Natsume’s eye. He’s the only one who hasn’t given her one yet.

He wordlessly gestures to the necklace with alice stones that she’s wearing. She finally knows for sure that the mysterious red stone she got before Valentine’s Day was from Natsume. He won’t say anything about what it meant for him. He stays silent the whole time, because anything he says could just make things harder. He’s already said what he needed to, without saying a word: that little pebble she gave him meant the world to him, so he had to give her something in return.

I want to see Natsume cry. I want to see him bawling. Why don't we get to see this kid cry? I'm pissed about it. Why does he swallow everything? No wonder he's so fucking sick.

Maybe Natsume doesn't say anything because there's nothing more to say. Maybe he stays quiet because he doesn't trust himself to not sound bitter or upset if he does. Maybe he shuts up because he's just been through an emotional ordeal and can't bring himself to. An emotional goodbye with Mikan seems like something he'd want, but it's less painful for both of them to not address any of the feelings he's been obvious about all night. It's an elephant in the room she doesn't need to point out. He doesn't want to get rejected. It's enough that she knows that she's loved, even if she doesn't love him back. Even if she never will because she's leaving and he'll never see her again. He'd rather they have this as their formal goodbye (not that they're parting right away) so that he doesn't say the wrong thing or hear the inconvenient thing.

He's put his whole heart on his sleeve and she hasn't said it back all night. He can guess for himself what that means, and he's accepted it. He accepted it from the beginning, when she first tackled him in that warehouse. She knows how he feels now. She has his stone around her neck too. That's the most he'll get forever, and he'll accept it. Accepting things is what he does.

Conclusion

Natsume loves Mikan and she knows it. There's no way that after everything that happened this night that she could walk away oblivious. She hasn't said much about her own feelings, so Natsume has no reason to assume she feels the same. He's about to be separated from her, and even though it's one of the hardest things he's ever had to deal with, he does. He swallows it, like he always does, and doesn't say a single word in protest.

In the next segment, we'll see Natsume continue to swallow it. He completely surrenders, because they only thing he really wants is for Mikan to be safe. He gives up completely. He won't even say goodbye when he's about to part with her for good, but one tiny moment will change everything and uproot every single assumption Natsume has ever made about how she must feel about him.

Sorry if this isn't properly cleaned up. I felt okay starting the editing process but I started feeling a bit sick as I went along and now I'm tired. It's late. Anyway I'll probably update tomorrow's much earlier in the day, after I visit the clinic to find out if I'm anemic. Yes, I am stupid (locked myself out of my car again) AND possibly anemic (hair keeps falling out). We exist.

It seems like the tags won't let me say it but the title image is Populaire-flavored (Zoe gets it, no doubt). Macarons and retro outfits bring Populaire to mind. I like that movie.

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[luna-ie-dreams]

Let’s do some realistic but kind writing for Y/N x Xiao.

I wanted to try this out, since I see a lot of soft content of xiao without a bit of build up to how he got to that bond. Because as we know Xiao is stricken with insecurities and a huge sense of responsibility.

TW: mentions of blood and injury

Now the way you two met is that Aether introduced you to him while you both were on a mission. Since he needed Xiao to be comfortable with you to proceed.

Now at the very beginning, he hardly even glanced at you besides to check if you were far enough. He hardly goes out of his way to chat with you, he in-fact gives information to Aether to share with you.

You quickly learn that this yaksha is focused on his lifelong solitude and fated duty. You had no idea and felt your heart sink, you didn’t want to let him be alone. But what could you do?

Well, let’s delve into that shall we?

Overtime you began slowly asking Xiao small questions, not tedious questions, you know it would only anger him. So you begin asking questions about the Archons and about the fatui. Which he was slightly surprised but complied.

Slowly from questions, to offering his favorite food, to light small talk, to now him accompanying you on patrols. He doesn’t trust the area quite yet.

From not being conscious of you, now he’s observant towards you and watching over you. You two still have a distance between each other but you don’t feel it to be uncomfortable

Anytime you encounter an old friend, Xiao stands in front of you quite angrily, unknowing of the person in front. Which you over and over have to reassure him. Aether would joke that he's your personal guard dog.

You didn't realize how true it was at the time until...

One day you were passing by Gadaupa Gorge, you weren't there for anything major, just a few insignias and ruin guard hunting. You were on this hunt because Aether had asked you since it was in correlation to Albedo's research.

While pushing some fallen debris out of the pathway, a skirmisher watches you from behind. Unbeknownst to you, he walks closer and fires his gun directly into your back. The sudden wave of pain and shearing burns into your back send you to the ground, your body unable to stop shaking from the shock.

Out of your view, you hear the skirmisher writhing in pain and curdling screams, as blood splatters to the ground next to you.

A snarling venomous voice spits out,

"I knew you fatui were bold, but to think you had the gall to mess with something dear to me is just moronic. You should be grateful I didn't sever you on sight."

Xiao. He came for you. How on earth did he know, regardless your eyes leaked with tears of relief as the burns trudged on even more intense.

You hear the skirmisher plead for his life, but another quick slice rings the atmosphere and the skirmisher goes silent. You weren't stupid as to know what he just did.

Before being able to choke out anything, Xiao picks you up in his arms and begins bringing you back to the hideout and have your wounds tended to. Xiao doesn't utter a word the entire way back.

You feel nervous but need to know what's wrong,

"Xiao? You've been silent, is something the matter?" You ask hesitantly.

While preparing the medicine and bandages, he turns to you with a pained but defeated expression.

"You couldn't have been more careful? What would've happened if I wasn't there for you [Y/N]?"

"That skirmisher could've killed you, and then what? I can't afford to lose you, so please try to watch your surroundings when I'm unable to be by your side. Call my name, and I promise to save you." He trails off.

Your heart clenched. You hadn't seen him this way, it wasn't your intention to worry him that way.

"Xiao.." You started.

But before you could apologize, he pulled in you in a gentle embrace, and you knew silently that he wasn't mad just was afraid.

"I promise I won't let my guard down, and I won't forget to call." You finished, leaning into him.

The cultivated bond between you and Xiao was now a hard one to break. As he is the type to not let go once he's held on. He cherishes you in a way you never felt before.

You're grateful for Aether introducing you to him 4 years ago, and forever will be.

[zodiactalks]

Love Life with Aquarius Woman & 5 Brutal Truths

Aquarius women have long been considered one of the most unconventional signs in the Zodiac and with good reason! This quirky, charming, intelligent, and bold sign can easily turn your world upside down.

But, are you ready for her?

Falling in love with an Aquarius woman can be an easy, almost unavoidable thing to do. However, it doesn't come without its challenges; after all, a woman as outstanding is bound to be complicated.

Her intelligence, her ability and preference to think outside the box, her desire to explore the world in new ways, and her closely-guarded heart will make any attempt at a romantic relationship with this revolutionary sign a bit of an odyssey. It'll be the kind of romantic adventure you'll fondly look back on in years to come.

It can also be just plain challenging, full of bumps and arguments that make for bad memories rather than good.

So how do you make sure you're getting the former and not the latter? By learning as much as you can about Aquarius women as quickly as possible.

Here are five brutal truths about loving Aquarius Woman.

#1. They're obsessed with being authentic.

Aquarius women can't stand the thought of being one of the bunch and will go through all kinds of extremes just to make sure she stands out as unique.

They're often described as weird, quirky, eccentric, or just plain freaky, and while those adjectives fit rather nicely, it's essential to understand that Aquarius women often play up to them.

Make no mistake, Aquarius women are often into unusual things and love some of the weirdest things you can imagine, but they also tend to be a bit performative in their interest; the moment they find something quirky and fun to do, they'll make sure the world knows it.

It's not enough that they're into collecting spiders or photographing other people's auras, oh no, they'll talk about it, and they'll talk about it often, ensuring no one around them can miss the fact that they're so quirky and unique.

It's one thing to be into weird stuff. It's a whole other thing to make that "quirkiness" part of your personality, and Aquarius women tend to do both.

So, if you have unconventional interests, chances are you'll find something in common with an Aquarius woman, just be prepared for her to make a big deal about it.

#2. They're know-it-alls.

No one discusses the fact that Aquarius women are wicked smart and interested in cerebral pursuits. They love learning new things, adore reading non-fiction, are obsessed with collecting all kinds of useless little facts, and generally are always pursuing the opportunity to acquire new skills.

Aquarius women are one of the most brilliant and capable women in the Zodiac, and they'll make damn sure you know it.

Honestly? There's nothing wrong with this. They've earned the right to flaunt and share their knowledge and skills with the world. After all, what good is information if you don't use it? What good is knowledge if you don't share it?

The thing is, Aquarius women are far from humble, and if they're proud of their achievements –as they should be– they'll make it their life mission that you, and everyone else, are aware of them.

She wants people to know she's the smartest and wants people to look up to her. In fact, though she might not voice it, she wants people to feel a little dumb next to her because she knows she rocks that hard.

As you can imagine, this behavior can get quite annoying, so make sure you're ready for it because it's not going anywhere.

#3. They hate romance.

Aquarius women are one of the least romantic creatures in the face of the earth.

Their straightforward, logical, somewhat aloof personality translates to a person who thinks romantic gestures are corny and stupid, and someone who would rather skip all the niceties and superficial gestures and get straight to business.

It's not that they're incapable of love, as this sign loves fiercely, it's more that they prefer to keep their romantic gestures as plain and sincere as possible.

They tend to see traditional romantic acts as performative and not really honest. Flowers and chocolates may be nice, but did you buy those because she likes it or because you think that's what she expects of you?

Long walks down the beach, sunset kisses, expensive dinner dates followed by a movie? Those are perfectly serviceable dates, yes, but are they really what you want to do, or did you choose them because she's a woman and those are the to-go date ideas?

Aquarius women want something sincere, something honest, something that truly reflects what you two like and what unites you as a couple. Giant teddy-bears are good, and all, but they mean nothing if you just get them because you think that's expected of you.

Instead of using movies and pop culture to plan your date, personalize it to make sure it's something she really would love!

If she's into birdwatching, then a picnic in the forest might be better received than a romantic dinner at a restaurant. If she's really into fishes, then a coelacanth plushie will beat a teddy bear every single time.

Forget what the movies have told you. If you love an Aquarius woman, none of those tips will work!

#4. They're incredibly indecisive.

Maybe it's a side effect of their highly active mind, perhaps it's just the way they interact with the world, but Aquarius women overthink just about everything that happens in their lives, and, because of that, they can be incredibly indecisive.

Trust us; an Aquarius woman doesn't take decisions lightly.

Yes, she might be an adventurous spirit always on the lookout for new experiences, but that doesn't make her spontaneous. Far from it, Aquarius women like to consider the pros and cons of all activities she joins and will make their due diligence when it comes to researching and making sure that activity is right for them.

Even when they've done everything in their power to ensure the best possible outcome, they'll doubt themselves and second-guess their choices at any given moment, simply because they're well aware that no one can plan for everything.

#5. She reinvents herself constantly.

If you want to be with an Aquarius woman, you need to be prepared to love her through her many, many phases. None of that 'I hope she doesn't change' nonsense. She will change, and she will change constantly.

She'll explore new interests, try her hand at new hobbies, pursue new objectives, and follow new styles and fashions just to see if it works for her.

Aquarius women want to experience everything the world has to offer and, to do so, they can't allow themselves to be static. They need to be in constant motion, always changing themselves.

If this sounds challenging, it's because it is.

This trait is one of the things people have the most trouble understanding about Aquarius women, but it's the one you need to embrace the fastest to have a happy life with her.

She won't become a different person from one day to the other. Aquarius women are, after all, always loyal to themselves, but she will pull the rug under you just when you think you're getting used to her quirks.

Our advice? Don't try to understand her; just love her as she is.

[one-spidey-boii]

BUMMER SUMMER || peter parker; ch eight

read ch seven here

masterlist

an; my back has been killing me lately and all i wanna do is sleep you guys it’s no good. but i’ll tell you what is good...yellow starbursts. i’m losing my mind, enjoy the chapter :))

warnings; mentions of battle wounds (i.e. blood/scars/etc), future smut, mature language, fluff, angst, both peter and oc are 18+!!

word count; 2.3k+

edie's pov

peter and i sit together on the edge of the bed for what feels like forever. my head rests on his shoulder as he gently rocks me back and forth and his hands rub small circles along my back. neither of us say a word as seconds turn to minutes and the rise and fall of our chests settle in sync with one another.

i want to push away the small seed of doubt that brews in my stomach. it crawls up and wraps itself around my heart, squeezing just enough so i won't forget it’s there. i can't help but wonder why this is happening, and why now? my heart stings at the possibility that this was just under circumstance. the fact that we are the only two people here and he may see me as his only form of...release. but i knew peter wasn't like that. he isn't.

peter's lips move to my ear, "i'm so sorry, edie." he whispers. i raise my head slowly, all the nerves and doubt rise to the surface of my brain.

"wh-what?" i say doe-eyed. my arms unclasp from behind his neck and i begin to slide off of his warm, inviting lap. before i can, his grip on my waist tighten and he pulls me back to his chest, impossibly close. i ignore the throb in my side.

"look at me, please." he begs. i meet his gaze and swallow thickly, giving him a tiny nod to continue, "i can't tell you how...horrible i feel that this happened to you," he pauses to lift my shirt up ever so slowly and trace my side, "i know it was my turn to go out a-and this wouldn't have happened if i just talked to you." peter's voice cracks as he says the words and his eyes begin to water. the glassy look in them make my stomach twist.

my lips turn downward in a frown, this is not what i was expecting, "you couldn't have known," i reply, confused at his guilt, "i'm glad it was m-me and not you," i say matter-of-factly, my eyes begin to water along with his.

peter moves his hands onto either side of my face, holding me there gently, "what are you talking about? i would've been completely healed by now, without as much as a scratch. edie, i wish every second that passes it was me." i frown more at this.

"but i'm getting through it. just because my body isn't enhanced like yours doesn't mean i can't get back up just as strong. it happened to me, peter. i have to live with this and i don't want you wishing it upon yourself." this time i slide completely off his lap and onto my own feet. his hands reach out for me, but i step back and shake my head.

"no, peter, im serious. and-" i stop talking before i can finish my thought, not wanting the words to hit the space between us. peter pushes back.

"go on, what were you going to say?" he presses, rising to his own feet. i shake my head vigorously, "it doesn't matter."

"yes. it does." he says, his voice growing deeper. i continue to shake my head. i don't want to say it, because if it's true- it would hurt more than getting stabbed in the side.

"just say it!" he snaps at me as his hands come up to grip my upper arms. i yelp and stumble back at the force of it. my body shakes as i throw his hands away from me.

"i can't! i don't want to believe that you're doing this out of pity because of this stupid scar. or that you're only touching me because you're bored of touching yourself! i don't even know why you would want to. i mean, have you fucking seen it?" i yell, my voice cracking, finally spilling out the toxic thoughts that have been eating away at me. i'm so exhausted.

peter takes a step back, away from me, "is that what you think this is?" he whispers. his eyes hold nothing but sorrow.

"i don't know, pete." i reply, absolutely defeated. without thinking, i back up to the wall and slide down until my butt hits the floor. when wet paint meets with my skin, i groan and shove my head into my hands. nothing seems to make sense anymore. does peter really feel something for me? am i the blind one?

soon enough, peter crouches in front of me. he gently pushes my legs apart so that he can rest between them. and i let him. he brings his hands to rest on the wall by either side of my head. he leans in close, i can feel his breath on my cheeks. i lower my own hands and look at him, challenging him to say something, anything. his eyes flicker over my face, resting on each feature until they land on my lips. i absentmindedly part and wet them with my tongue. he meets my eyes again and leans in until our noses touch.

"believe me when i say this, edie wolfe, you will always be so much more to me than this," he moves one hand, now covered in wet paint, to trace my scar covered side, the cold liquid makes me shiver. i nod my head slowly, choosing not to say a word.

instead, i lean in towards him until our lips ghost over each other. i shiver again at the mere of idea of him closing the gap and making this real. all my efforts to push away my feelings are failing me. and that's okay. i want it to be real. i want to push away all the doubt and fear and just feel him.

in a beautiful moment, peter finally leans in the rest of the way and his slightly chapped lips meet mine in a soft kiss. it’s not a long embrace. he pulls back and tries to speak, but i'm too quick too connect our lips again. i need this. i need him.

i eagerly place one hand on his bicep and the other around his neck, pulling him into me. his other paint covered hand comes to rest on my cheek, making me gasp at the chill.

my slightly parted lips give no objection to peter as he takes advantage of the opportunity and slips his tongue in, deepening the kiss. his grip on my side tightens and i arch my back into his body, suddenly finding him too far away. he eagerly grabs both of my hips and hastily flips us around so that his back is to the wall and i'm sitting in his lap once again. my hands steady themselves on the wall and are quickly covered in paint just like his.

i want to say the moment stayed sweet and soft, but neither one of us could hold back as the kiss grew hot and needy. i slip my hands in peter's hair and tug on the roots, causing him to utter a moan that tightens the coil in my stomach. wanting to hear him more, i tug harder and suck his bottom lip between my teeth, biting down lightly. when he lets out a deep groan from the back of his throat, i smile with satisfaction against his lips.

"oh shut up." he whispers and moves to suck on my jaw. i let out a sigh as he trails kisses from my neck to my collarbone, stopping every so often to bite down and leave a mark on my now flushed skin.

"i like it when you do that." i whisper softly and breathily, hoping i'm loud enough for him to hear. he bites down harshly on my neck and it makes me suck in a harsh breath of air.

"oh really?" he asks, his lips trailing back up to mine, leaving a light kiss before he moves to my ear, "i quite like the feeling of you right here." he teases and gently bites at my earlobe. then he grinds his hips up into mine and we both let out moans into the hot air shared between us.

"do that again." i plead, with my eyes closed and lips trailing to bite at his shoulder.

"yes ma'am." he replies back, causing me to smile as he raises his hips up to grind against my own. it's then that i finally notice the prominent feeling of him pressed against my core, separated by only a few layers of fabric. i groan at the feeling and the thought of those layers no longer being a hinderance.

peter pulls me in for one more kiss before speaking again, "now do you see what you do to me, wolfie?" i nod my head sheepishly, finding it hard to come up with the right words. my cheeks flush and i lean in for more of his electrifying embrace, but he stops me short.

"we should quit right here before i get carried away." he says, out of breath, his eyes filled with lust- it makes them look almost black.

"what if i want you to get carried away?" i tease, my moral compass tipping over its limits, and this time i move my hips down into his, hoping to relieve the pressure building up inside of me.

he clicks his tongue at me, "tsk, tsk, don't want to get too crazy so soon." his eyes twinkle with mischief.

before i can even react, he swipes two paint covered fingers across my cheeks and lets out a hearty laugh. i look at him in disbelief before i grab for the paint tray, slapping my entire hand into it and running it down the length of his face. peter's shocked face only lasts a second before the mischief returns.

i squeal and jump up from his lap, just missing his stretched out arms as he tries to grab me. i race to the other side of the room and into the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

with a huge smile, i yell, "ha! try and catch me now." with which he just slowly waltzes up to the door and jiggles the locked doorknob.

"don't you remember when i ripped your door off it's hinges last night?" he says pointedly. my smile drops at the truth of his words.

"pfft, well, i need to take a shower. so you'll just have to go solve your little...problem on your own, peter parker!" i yell from the back of the bathroom and turn on the shower. i can't stop the smirk that spreads across my face at the thought of him still rock hard beneath his shorts.

i hear a huff behind the door, "i would never force you to do anything you didn't want to do," peter pouts. i laugh at the silly boy.

"i know you wouldn't, pete, but i am gonna take a shower. somehow the paint got alllll over me." i reply, playing the innocent card. he chuckles from his spot.

"okay, wolfie. i'll see you for dinner, yeah?" he asks softly.

i nod my head with a dumb smile on my face before remembering he can't see me, so i call out, "where else would i be?"

i listen to his footsteps until they're down the hall and out of earshot. i close my eyes and let out a deep breath of relief, leaning against the bathroom sink.

peter's pov

after sheepishly walking back to my own room and cleaning the paint away from my skin, i flop on the bed and take care of my own situation. a part of me is relieved i can let my thoughts drift to edie without feeling guilty for the way i think about her. at least i think i can? i don't know, is it okay now?

shaking the thought away, i, yanno, finish, and make my way to the kitchen to whip something up for the both of us. i dance my way through grabbing all the ingredients i need as i hum an old song.

my groove is interrupted by an angry red alarm blaring throughout the room. i snap out of it and run to the nearest control board on the wall, trying to search for what had tripped the alarm.

a red circle envelopes one of the back doors that leads to the outdoor training grounds. without hesitation, i run to the door and stop short when i see no one there. still, i cautiously survey the area and stand my ground.

as i thought before, there's no one in sight. not one person or animal or anything. i begin to walk away when a piece of paper stands out on the tile floor. it must have been pushed under the door. i pick it up and read through the handwritten words- ten, twenty times before my heart sinks into my feet.

'glad to see your girl has healed up quite nicely. don't you worry though- we're not done yet.'

footsteps come running from around the corner and i turn sharply on my heel to see edie, soaking wet and wrapped up in a towel.

"what was that? is everything okay?" she says, eyes wide and curious. i quickly hide the crude note behind my back and swallow, it feels like i'm trying to digest a rock.

"n-nothing. just the mailman, he came to the wrong door and it set off the alarm. nothing to worry about here." i say, hoping i played that off well, but i know she can see right through me.

i don't even think we have a mailman.

|| taglist; @my-patronus-is-mabel-pines @whycantileaveyou @lovewolfspirit @kitykatnumber @franksholland @goddamnit5sos

[psyleedee]

Glances.

Pairing: Castiel×Dean.

by psyleedee.

Cas notices it. How could he not? Its not like Dean isn't subtle, but Cas has the small advantage of having more than a hundred eyes. And true form or not, he can feel when Dean's eyes linger on him a few seconds longer than usual. What confuses him is that the glances are at the most mundane of times.

Cas's sitting on Dean's bed watching Netflix, trench coat and blazer discarded on the chair, and honestly, he doesn't know why Dean's standing at the doorway for so long, watching him. Doesn't Dean want to know what happens to Dr. Piccolo after she finds out Dr.Sexy's cheating on her? Strange guy that Dean.

It happens again, when they're in the kitchen. Cas is making everyone coffee, and though he's a little grouchy that morning himself, it doesn't stop Dean from gazing at him long enough. He turns around and Dean's eyes are on his face now. Cas quirks his eyebrow, and Dean shakes his head, averting his gaze as Cas sets the coffee down. He slides in next to Dean, and even if Dean doesn't show it, Cas can see him smile to himself discreetly.

The third time (when Cas notices), is when they're on a hunt. Cas isn't injured, but the dumb son of a bitch, Dean is. Like, who even told him to walk into the vamps nest with a machete in hand and no strategy? If only he would've waited for Sam's calls. Sigh. Cas is there though, healing his arms and face, because thats what he's supposed to do. He's supposed to be their guardian. He's supposed to protect them.

"You're stupid, you know that, right?"

"Yeah, you've told me a lot of times, Cas."

"What if I'm not here one day? What if you get hurt, and I mean, really get hurt?"

"That won't happen, Cas. I know you'll be here."

"How are you so sure?"

"Cause wherever you'll be going, I won't let you go. I won't let you leave me."

It becomes silent after that, Dean's eyes on Cas, Cas's eyes on Dean's arm, healing the deep cut the vampire inflicted. Cas glances at Dean, its very brief, but he can make out the small smile on Dean's face. Cas just shakes his head and with a soft smile on his own lips, gets back to healing Dean.

The next time it happens is at a bar. There's music playing, people dancing, people drinking and then there's them. Sam's on the other side, chatting with a tall woman that smiled at him, leaving Dean and Cas alone at a booth in the far corner.

Cas is drinking slowly. He's learned that alcohol is bitter, but the true experience is to embrace the bitterness of it. He's sitting next to Dean, and he'll admit, it feels quite warm and cozy.

"You, uh, what are you thinking about?"

Dean asks, and Cas shrugs lightly.

"About how warm you feel."

He doesn't realize why he needs to lie to Dean. They're best of friends, and Cas loves Dean. Alright, maybe he wants Dean as more than a friend, but he's not going to sabotage the relationship they have. Where they are is good enough. This is good enough.

"Yeah?"

Dean breaks into a soft chuckle, shaking his head and taking a swig of his beer.

Cas looks down at his own drink, taking a sip. He can feel Dean doing it again; he's watching Cas. Cas looks up at him, but- wait- Dean jerks his head down, averting his gaze towards the dance floor instead.

There's a familiar song playing. Familiar, because Cas has heard Dean hum it.

"What song is this?"

He asks Dean, who's caught unaware by the question.

"Uh, REO Speedwagon, Can't Fight This Feeling. Why?"

"I've heard you sing this."

"Oh, huh."

Dean answers, obviously flushed.

They bask in the silence, just listening to the song. Cas finds the song is actually quite meaningful. And achingly so, it reminds him of Dean.

"It reminds me of you."

Cas states.

"No, Cas this is, its uhm, its about love. The song."

"Yeah, that's why."

Only now that he's said it, does Cas realize how much of a profession of love it sounds like.

Dean takes a sharp breath, eyes studying Cas's face. Cas doesn't look back this time, not until Dean calls his name, softly, resolutely.

"Hey Cas...?"

"Hmm?"

Cas turns his face to look at Dean, but then suddenly there's a set of soft lips on his own, and eager hands roaming all over his body. It takes him a second to realize Dean is kissing him. Another one to process the fact that Dean is kissing him. And another to kiss Dean back just as hard.

[staticscreenwriting]

When you love someone - Billy Hargrove

Synopsis: Billy has a high school diploma and a ring. 

Request:  Could you write eloping with Billy? Like running away in the middle of the night and getting married?

A/N: Thank you for requesting. This was fun to write and I hope it was all you wanted it to be. Keep the requests coming, people :) 

When you love someone Yeah, really love someone Now I know it's right From the moment I wake up 'til deep in the night There's nowhere on earth that I'd rather be Than holding you tenderly

Billy’s hands are clammy as he takes the diploma into his right hand and shakes the principals hand with the other.

He can see the distaste on her face and can’t suppress a little cocky smirk. Principal Murphy is not one of his biggest fans, Billy knows this. In fact everyone knows this. Which makes this moment that much sweeter. It’s a double win in his book. Not only did he actually manage to finish High School with a reasonable GPA he also pissed off his principal and all those who doubted him in the process. And if there’s one thing Billy Hargrove loves more than proving people wrong, it’s proving people wrong about his abilities to actually succeed at something.

His eyes wander towards the crowd of people gathered before the stage. All his peers, some of which he swears he’s never seen before, look up at him. There’s a look of sheer disbelieve on quite a few faces. It’s in that moment, that Billy realizes that him actually walking on stage during graduation, him actually graduating, is kind of a big deal. He wonders how many of these people think he’s genuinely dumb. He’s not. He knows this. He’s just bored a lot and sitting in class listening to underpaid and unenthusiastic teachers drone on about some topic he already knows enough about, never sounded like the best way to spend his time. But he’s not stupid.

Billy spots Susann and Max on the chairs in the very back row. It makes his chest tighten a little. He’s glad they’re here even if he’ll never admit this to anyone ever. He’s glad they care enough to show up even though their relationship is strained at best. Even though he behaves like a huge asshole most of the time.

He’s glad they’re here but he also wishes they weren’t. This is his family now and it’s not the family that’s supposed to be here. It should be his mother sitting there, with a smile on her face and a camcorder in hand, recording every single second of him on stage. But she’s not. It’s something Billy has to learn to live with. She won’t be there for any big events. It makes his chest feel even tighter.

Dad hasn’t shown up.

Billy doesn’t give a shit.  

What he does give a shit about though, is the little flutter his heart does as his eyes meet hers in the crowd.

She’s the reason he’s up there in the first place. Had it not been for the new girl who looked phenomenally in high waisted jeans and ridiculously patterned sweaters he never would’ve started actually showing up to class.

Had it not been for her and the way she looks at him and believes in him, believes that he can be better if he tries, he wouldn’t be up here right now. Had it not been for the fact that she deserves better, that she deserves the world, he wouldn’t have made it.

But he did. He’s here now and the look on her face has made it all worth it. The getting up early, the long nights studying, the being bored out of his mind during class. He’d do it all over again just to see her smile again.

For the first time in a long time Billy remembers what it feels like to make someone proud.

As he walks off stage eyes still locked on hers, the little box in his pocket suddenly feels heavy. It’s ridiculous really. It doesn’t have to mean anything, not yet. There’s no need for him to be anxious. And yet he is. Because uncertainty is the killer of all joy.

“ I’m gonna miss this “ she says and leans her head against Billy’s shoulder, having snuck off after the ceremony, towards the football field and snuggling up on the bleachers for old time’s sake.

“ School ? “

“ Yeah. Kind of. More like — I don’t know. Having a safety net. What if college isn’t what I want it to be ? I’m scared of the future. “

He is too, but for completely different reasons. He’s scared (Y/N) is gonna realise that she’s far too good for a piece of shit like him and leave. He doesn’t say that though, he knows she’d freak out. Billy knows it makes her sad whenever he gets self conscious or questions the strength of their relationship.

So he keeps that to himself.

“ Hey, you have me to fall back on. You’re gonna go to university, I’m gonna find a job. It’s all gonna work out for us. Fairytale ending and all that shit you girls are so crazy about. “ He says instead, and nudges her playfully.

(Y/N) lifts her head and looks into his eyes. He swear he dies a little every time she does, judging by how fast his heart is beating.

“ Billy I love you so very much. I don’t — I don’t know what I’d do if you didn’t come to California with me. Thank you for putting my dream before yours. “

She is his dream. Living with her, growing old with her. That’s what he wants from life, nothing more, nothing less. He can’t say that though, that’s some pussy shit.

His hands twitch towards his pocket, towards the box, the ring, his mother’s ring. The one he’d stolen from his dad. It doesn’t belong to his dad. He doesn't’ deserve to have it. He started fucking Susan while Billy’s mom was still battling her sickness. Billy would never forgive him for that.

“ Hey, baby. Listen I — “

“ Oh fuck ! “ (Y/N) interrupts him as she glances at her watch. “ I was supposed to meet up with my parents at the restaurant 15 minutes ago. Can you hold that thought ? I’m assuming you’ll climb my window later tonight, can we finish this conversation then ? “

“No.” He wants to say. “Anxiety will have killed me by then. “

But he just nods and pulls her into a kiss.

“ Do you — do you wanna come to dinner with us ? “ (Y/N) asks, combing her fingers through his hair.

Billy raises an eyebrow in disbelieve “ Your dad hates me. He literally cursed me to hell last time he found me in your room “.

“ I — yeah okay. “ she shrugs sadly “ I wish my parents could see what I see. I’m just glad I’m 18 and they can’t stop me from moving in with you once we leave this shitty place “.

To be quite honest, so is he. He knows (Y/N) loves her parents but they absolutely detest him. He’s just glad she loves him enough to ignore that.

“ I can’t wait to take you to California“ Billy exclaims pulling her into another embrace. Truth be told, he isn’t ready to let her go yet. It means he either has to go home and hang out with people that are technically his family but that he can’t really stand or he can stay here all by himself, which is sad even for him.

(Y/N) softly lays her head on his chest, arms gently wrapping around his hips. “ I hope you get to be more happy there. You’re always so sad. I hope being home makes you happier” .

Home isn’t California anymore though. Home is her now.

He cups her face in one of his hands and for a moment she seems so small and fragile. Nothing like the headstrong girl he’s used to.

“ You make me happy, baby. Wherever we are, as long as I’m with you I’ll be fine “.

And he means it. He truly believes it.

He knows it’s now or never as his fingers fumble the box from his pocket. It’s not like this is a proposal. He just feels like it’s the right time to give her the ring. He knows there’s no one else that should ever get to have it, nobody but (Y/N).

Billy thinks his mom would’ve loved for her to have it. Would’ve loved her.

He can see her eyes widen in shock and her cheeks blush like those of a virgin in a strip club.

“ It’s not an engagement ring. “ he explains.

“ I mean — technically it is but it doesn’t — I mean. Oh god I should’ve rehearsed this. “

He’s a stumbling awkward mess at this point and he’s thanking god and all his lucky stars that none of his classmates, well ex classmates, are around to witness it.

“ What I’m trying to say is, this is my mom’s ring. Neil had it but that asshole didn’t give a shit about her while she was dying in the hospital. He shouldn’t have it. But I want you to have it. Just because I loved her and because I love you. It can mean whatever you want to. Whenever you’re ready let me know and it can be an engagement ring or — or I can get you a new one eventually. A sparkly one with loads of diamonds. I just wanted you to have it because it means something to me and you — you mean more to me than I ever thought was possible. So yeah, here. “

(Y/N)’s eyes are fixated on the simple gold band with the one little sparkly diamond in the middle. She’s quiet for a moment and Billy can already feel his lunch making its way up his throat. He’s that nervous.

Softly, (Y/N) takes a breath and reaches out her hand for him to place the ring on her finger.

“ It’s absolutely gorgeous.” she proclaims, completely enamoured with the piece of jewelry now on her finger. It’s a perfect fit. Just like Billy. He’s a perfect fit for her.

(Y/N)’s breathing starts speeding up and she can feel her heartbeat starting to resemble that of a hummingbird.

“ You okay ? Are you having a panic attack ? “

“ No I — I think we should elope “ .

Smooth jazz is softly playing in what Billy can only describe as a waiting room. The entire room is draped in a fluorescent pink light and everything smells vaguely of vanilla, lavender and fake leather.

He combs his fingers through his mullet, looking at himself in the mirror. There’s a cheap 34 cent top hat from the gas station on his head and a fake flower pinned to the front of his denim jacket.

He can’t believe he’s actually here. The most cliché little white chapel in the middle of Las Vegas. Not because he doesn’t want to marry her, he just can’t believe she wants to marry him. He’s not good enough for her and everyone knows that.

When she had initially brought up the idea of eloping he had honestly believed she was joking. (Y/N) wasn’t like that. She wasn’t impulsive. She was a planner, a worrier. A marriage was a big fucking deal and he didn’t want her to go through with it just because of a some spark of nostalgia and anxiety for the future brought on by their recent graduation.

The more she had talked about it though, the more apparent it became to him that maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea and maybe it wasn’t all that impulsive after all. He had wanted to spend his entire life with her and marriage was part of that. Why not start forever early?

She had told him that she didn’t give a fuck about her parents approval anymore and though he knew she was a little hurt that they wouldn’t be there to see her get married, he was ultimately glad her love for him was strong enough to not care about her parents blatant hatred for his person.

Driving past their houses, they both managed to pack a few of their things and leave without either of their families noticing. (Y/N) parents already waiting for her at the restaurant, would come home to a note on the fridge telling them she was fine. And his family … well they wouldn’t miss him anytime soon.

And then, off they went.

29 hours, 15 cream sodas, 3 packs of beef jerky, 12 mixtapes and 1 backseat quickie later they had arrived in fabulous Las Vegas Nevada.

It was different to anything either of them had seen before. It was loud and buzzing and crazy. Everything was lit up.

Billy thought she looked especially pretty in the neon lights.

Standing in the actually chapel now, waiting for the ceremony to start, Billy can’t suppress a smile spreading on his face.

He was never a really happy person ever since his mom had died. Not until he met (Y/N). She’s everything he isn’t and so much more. She single handedly made him change his attitude. Made him approachable, even nice sometimes. A better person.

And above all, she makes him happy.

On their drive to Vegas, a permanent smile had been etched on both their faces and Billy had restored to telling everyone they’d encountered that she was “his fiancee”, which in return made (Y/N) smile even wider.

Now he’s standing in the chapel, Metallica shirt on his body, hands clammy, and that stupid top hat she had insisted he wore, perched on his head.

She deserves more than this and one day he’ll give it to her. A big ceremony with a band and flowers and a buffet.

But now is not that day and they’ll have to make do with what they got. In the end all that matters is they’re here and they’re in love.

He’s nervously standing in front of the officiant, they had considered getting elvis to wed them but that would’ve been 25$ extra and they still needed to save some money for the roadtrip back to Indiana.

(Y/N) had went off in an attempt to find something resembling a wedding dress somewhere along the strip. “Maybe some thrift store or something” she’d said.

Billy had told her he’d marry her in whatever she wanted to wear but (Y/N) had insisted that some things just belonged to a wedding and a dress was one of them.

When the doors open and the music starts he can’t help but turn around. He knows he shouldn’t but they shouldn’t have run off to get eloped either. Sometimes the things you shouldn’t do turn out to be the best decisions.

As his eyes land on her, he can’t help but agree with that statement.

She’s in a puffy white tulle skirt and one of his white Billy Idol shirts tucked into the skirt. There’s red heels on her feet and a pair of red heart shaped sunglasses as well as a headband with a veil placed on her head. She’s holding a bouquet of what looks like fake red carnations.

And she’s smiling.

Billy doesn’t think he’s ever seen anything more beautiful in his entire life. And he’s sure he’s never been more in love with anyone or anything than he’s in love with her in that moment.

That’s his girl. His fiancee. His wife in a few minutes.

He’s speechless as she reaches him and places a kiss on his cheek.

He can’t seem to focus on anything but her. She’s all consuming and when they’d first started going out he hated it. He’d become so fixated on her then. She was all that was on his mind. The first thing he thought about after waking up and the last before going to sleep.

He’d never felt that way before and he hated it, thought there was something wrong.

That was until she’d told him she loved him and he realized, oh yeah, that was love he was feeling.

Ever since then she’s been all he ever needs. All he wants.

The ceremony rushes by and neither of them really focus on the words being said. Their attention rests solely on each other. Adoring glances are shared, soft touches are exchanged and there’s the ever present “ I love you “ hanging above their head that neither of them says but they both feel.

“ Have you prepared any vows ? “ the officiant asks.

Both expect the other to say “no” so when they both anwer with a “Yes, actually “ it’s kind of shocking to either of them.

“ You did ? “ (Y/N) asks, raising her eyebrows in question. It kinda stings for a moment that she’s surprised about it but maybe that’s his own fault. He isn’t good at talking about his feeling, good or bad. Hell it took him a long ass time and two bottles of cheap red wine to tell her that he loved her.

He isn’t good at this at all. And yet he took the time to prepare something while she was getting ready in the dressing room.

“ Yeah. It’s not a lot and it’s not great but — yeah. “

“ Feel free to start. “ the officiant chimes in and Billy takes a breath, focusing back on his bride to be.

“ I’m not good at this, in fact I’m goddamn awful. And I get to swear because this “ he says and motions at the walls around them “ isn’t a real church so it’s okay. I am not that great of a boyfriend but I will try my best to be a good husband. I don’t know why you’d chose me to spend the rest of your life with but I am eternally grateful that you do. I’m not gonna promise you anything because I don’t know what the future might bring but I can tell you that I’ll try my best to make sure you’re happy. To say it with the words of one of our times great poets, Lou Gramm from the band Foreigner, I’ve been waiting for a girl like you to come into my life. I love you (Y/N) ”.

Leave it to Billy to slip the lyrics of a rock ballad into his wedding vows. It was a tad cheesy but (Y/N) loves it. She wouldn’t have it any other way.

Tears gather in the corners of her eyes and for a moment Billy thinks he’s done something wrong. But then she smiles and places her soft hand on his cheek and his world gets a little brighter. Like every time she smiles.

“ Billy, I think you’re the coolest person I have ever met. There’s no one else I’d rather go on roadtrips with, no one I’d rather go see shitty 60s movies with at the drive in, no one I’d rather move to California with. Oscar Wilde once said to never love anyone that treats you like you’re ordinary. You make me feel extraordinary every single day of my life. You are my best friend and my biggest adventure and I can’t wait for what else life has in store for us. I love you. I love you so much. “

He never knows how to react when she tells him that she loves him or when she compliments him on something. He’s not used to being loved and appreciated. It’s awkward at best and borderline sad at worst whenever he tries to reciprocate but he knows she knows that he shares the feelings. That he too is more in love that he’d ever thought was possible.

“ It’s not time for the rings” the officiant explains, “Did you bring your own or would you be interested in purchasing a pair of our very own limited edition ones ? “

“ No thanks, we brought our own ones. “ (Y/N) replies slipping the ring from her finger and handing it over to Billy. Slipping her hand down her shirt and into her bra, (Y/N) pulls out a chunky silver skull shaped ring.

Looking at Billy’s confused expression, she can’t help but giggle. “ I found it at the thrift store, thought you should have a ring too. Didn’t have a bag to bring it so I stored it in my bra.”

“ You really are something else (Y/N) (Y/L/N) “.

“Do you William Hargrove take this woman (Y/N) (Y/L/N) to be your wife so please answer with, I do “. The officiant continues.

Billy’s eyes lock with her’s and he can’t tell if his heart is beating too fast or not at all.

“ I do “. She smiles at his words. He thinks that’s his favorite view in the world.

“ Please speak with me the following words and place the ring on your bride’s hand. “ speaks the officiant’s voice from his left. He can’t focus on anything but her though.

“ I, William, take you, (Y/N), to be my wife. To share all that I am and all that I have, for all time to come “.

Billy repeats the words, eyes locked with her, only switching up his full name for the shortened version. Mom called him William, that’s reserved for her only.

When the officiant asks the same from (Y/N) and she says I do, Billy swears his heart stops for a second then grows 3 sizes. Everything is so surreal but so right at the same time.

This is his girl, his love, his wife. He didn’t think he’d ever feel loved again and yet here he is, feeling more loved than ever before.

If all the shit he’s been through was meant to happen to lead him to her, lead him to this night, Billy decides it was worth it.

“ By the power vested in me by the laws of the state of Nevada, I take great pride and pleasure as I declare you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride. “

He doesn’t need to be told twice. His lips touch hers softly than more forceful. Their kiss is filled with pleasure and passion and I love yous that aren’t spoken but they are felt and that is all that matters.

Billy pulls away slowly and looks down into her gorgeous bright eyes. The ones that smile when her lips are smiling. The ones that light up her entire face.

He looks at her and he sees the future. A future together. One that’s uncertain but happy. He sees California and their future home. A dog or two. And little kids with the same eyes and the same smile. Kids that will never have to wonder whether they are loved or not because he will make it his duty to tell them every single day how much he loves them.

“ I love you Mr. Hargrove “.

“ I love you too — Mrs. Hargrove”.

They’re sitting in a corner booth in some small 24 hour Burger joint just off the main tourist filled streets. (Y/N)’s legs are draped over Billy’s and they’re both munching away on their Burgers.

It’s not the 5 course fancy meal Billy would love to treat her to but it’s casual and delicious and quite an unconventional wedding dinner and maybe that’s what makes it perfect to them. Because when have the two of them ever been conventional ?

“ Hi you guys, can I bring you anything else ? “ the bubbly waitress asks and walks over to their table with a swing in her step and a smile on her face.  “ Hey you guys had prom tonight or something ? “.

“ Actually “ Billy starts and leans forward to read her name tag “ Samantha, we just got married and I think my beautiful wife and I would like another vanilla miklshake. “

“ Congratulations you guys. Milkshake coming right up. By the way, you’re an adorable couple “.

“ Thank you “ the two call after he as she disappears into the kitchen.

“ She’s right “ Billy mumbles against her skin, burying his head in the crook of her neck.

The speakers start playing a new song and (Y/N) immediately sits up straight “ I love that song !” she exclaims and gets up on her feet. “ Baby, come dance with me. It’s your duty as a husband to dance with me on our wedding night “.

Billy doesn’t dance. But Billy also doesn’t run off and drives to vegas and marries his High School Sweetheart. And yet he does.

His arms wrap around her waist and her’s wrap around his neck.

“ Why are we dancing to Cyndi Lauper of all things ? “ Billy asks placing a kiss on (Y/N)’s head.

“ Because it’s a good song. Shut up grumpy boy. Dance with your wife “.

As he sways to the music, his girl — his wife, wrapped up in his arms. Billy can’t help but feel like life is finally on his side. He feels happy and even though their wedding wasn’t perfect, it was perfect to them. They don’t need fancy clothes and a massive venue and a live band to be content. They just need each other.

And yeah dancing to time after time in a burger joint that’s smelling of old frying grease and cajun spices was far from being the most romantic scenario they can think off but none of it matters and neither of them wants to be anywhere else in that moment.

“ If you're lost you can look--and you will find me. Time after time. If you fall I will catch you--I'll be waiting. Time after time “.

(Y/N) softly leans up, quietly singing along to the song, her lips brushing against his ear. And as he thinks about the words, Billy thinks that maybe this song isn’t so bad. Maybe it’s really fitting. Maybe it’s theirs.