#The weight of small lives | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pinklamplight · 12 days

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i love school cuz i can fast for 5 days without feeling anything ୨୧

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year

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second batch of outfit requests!

pattern collage / showfit / clownfit for @koifsssh & candy cardigan Eddie for @jazzzzzzhands <3

#thank you for the Looks! <3 #this little Exercise is pushing me out of my comfort zone with poses tbh #in a really good way!!#im learning stuff! im improving day-to-day in little ways #its the small victories i think. good stuff.#scribble garnish #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #figuring out dynamic positions and how to balance weight #also its good clothes practice #historically i have very rarely drawn clothes since yk. im dragon-based #but im slooooowwwwwly getting the hang of folds and creases and the mechanics of different kinds of fabric #that candy cardigan was a Challenge tho my fucking god #it was fun! but difficult.#im fairly satisfied with the result #also sorry eddie's bg is very simple compared to the other ones #they were drawn After i watched spiderverse #& promptly decided to live my art life by the rule:#RANDOM BULLSHIT GO!!!!!#its working for me so far. im getting a lil funky w it. emphasis on Little

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superbattrash · 6 months

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I just paid off the last of my debt 😭😭 Took me nearly 7 years but it’s finally over!!!!!

HALLELUJAH 🥳

#will I live off of oatmeal this month? yes #will I suffer a little? sure #do I still owe my dad money? also yes #but the giant ass WEIGHT on my shoulders have been lifted my giys #I do not owe the bank anymore money #nor any of the shitty small companies #my deadname’s debts are all gone. bye 👋🏼#misha rants

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thebirdandhersong · 5 months

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Lol. Lol. Lol.

#this is why i didnt want to move home 😂😂😂😂😂😂 being expected to cook and do the kitchen things #and not a single person cleaning in this house except for mom!!! = also me because i cant let my mother do all the work #anyway im tired lol!!!!! and i want to live with my 2 friends in the city #and meal prep together have my own space and not be subjected to more You should exercise comments #this is weight gained from depressive stress eating mom :-) i am Stressed and im trying not to cope this way but it is a process #anyway i miss my dorm i miss seeing 40+ people at meals i miss having the privacy to sing my heart out #i miss living in a small and manageable space i miss my FRIENDS i miss that boy (this is not a positive thing to miss admittedly)#i miss living right by the coffee shop that sells the Best Sandwich Ever and a honking good lavender vanilla latte #i also miss being able to fit into my favourite jeans. this is a self inflicted issue and it annoys me #anyway i am medium miserable and there is still a HECK TON of things to do #like unpack and go to the grocery store because its my father's birthday and ive committed #to cooking birthday dinner because birthday lunch was an unfortunate flop #o yeah also i miss having access to cheap obscenely strong black tea. that kept me going through finals #im only here a month before im off to my summer job which will be Away from here!! but darn it all its going to be a Month

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consumeroflemoans · 7 months

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Vil gazes at Idia across the lunch table on a rare day he convinces him to eat in the cafeteria. His eyes flick to Idia’s mouth, lingering on his tinted lips for a moment before moving to his sharp teeth as he places a bite of something horrendously unhealthy in his mouth.

Idia pauses, now very aware of Vil staring at him. Both his hair and cheeks tint a rather adorable shade of pink as he looks away, doing his best to keep himself together.

Rook watches the pair, enraptured by the abrupt moment of romance before him. Two men with differing beauty, both equally stunning. It's eye candy to watch them interact, albeit silently.

Epel pointedly looks away, dreading joining his dormmates for lunch and not the other first years. He debates leaving at that moment, but he’s sure Vil will say something. He does not want to deal with any confrontation at the moment and he is not sure he’ll be able to hold in a snarky comment.

The moment is suddenly broken, Vil’s eyes flicking back down to his own food. He places a bite of steamed, unseasoned broccoli in his mouth, prompting Idia to quickly shove more food into his face as well.

Rook sighs, dejected by their moment being so short. Alas, if only Idia had the courage to gaze back. Vil could devour him with his eyes alone. He chuckled to himself, drawing an odd look from Epel. Now that would be one beautiful sight.

#i blacked out for 10 minutes and woke up to this #twisted wonderland #vilidia #vil schoenheit #idia shroud #Vil x idia #idiavil #ok but the weight just these small moments have on me #like this pair just living their everyday #it is so interesting

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rockafirevevo · 4 days

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has anyone noticed the world is getting so much smaller lately

#ive been actively suicidal for many months now and it keeps getting worse #im not safe anywhere im not either working at or paying to be and even then anyone can hurt me at any time and i just have to take it #i don't even want to go anywhere anymore #my cat just died he had some kind of disease or maybe cancer and he was throwing up so much he just gave up on eating #and i kept telling them he was losing a lot of weight but they ignored it until he was skin and bones and dehydrated and jaundiced #and it was too late #and i want to waste away too but im not even strong enough i just keep working like always #the world is just so small now #this isn't like. a suicide note or anything ill keep living for now #but i am fucking desperate #suicide m #animal death #idk what else #im sorry to whiny ventpost but idk what else to do

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solareclipze · 4 months

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Is it worse to workout for one hour a day, or be fat 24 hours of the day?

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bunnihearted · 7 months

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🌧️🫧💭

#i shouldnt have fav mutuals bc i get sooo sad when they soft block me #which *always* happens like im not joking the day will come when they're just like nahhh bye #🥲🥲 nd i cant help but get sad #nd i dont even agree w that anon who said that 'no wonder everyone blocks u' bc im never mean to anyone #i think it's just bc im fundamentally unlikable and unlovable and the time will come when smth abt me #ticks them off nd nothing abt me is ever tolerated i always have to be perfect for everyone so then i just get cut off like dead weight lmao #also it shows that i get attached so easily but in reality ... ppl are not at all as attached to me 💀💀#like i care abt them but they dont care abt me nd it makes me feel so stupid #why do i so easily care for ppl?????? why do i have to care nd like ppl when it's always gonna end the same way #me being me is bad nd wrong and nobody could ever truly know me nd still like me #i have to live my life constantly hiding parts of myself and making sure im not too authentic or too open bc then i will make ppl dislike me #it rlly is that. im never mean. i never fight. ppl just see smth abt me nd go 'oh ewwwwww' nd then leave #nd if it hasnt already happened it will at some point nd im constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop #whenever i realize i say or did smth wrong im tense waiting for the moment where they'll leave me will arrive #ok this might sound silly bc i was like 'triggered' by smth small but like #all my life thats just how it's been. im not even mean or cruel. i just exist and ppl dont like me or who i am or what i think #i can never be truly myself anywhere. that is sure to result in being all alone 4ever. but i dont like hiding parts of myself #but i have to. but its hard when im trying to hide nd be lowkey but i still manage to make ppl dislike me T-T #idek what im supposed to do bc i just exist nd im not likable. i try to be that but im still not. idk what to do #anyway.. who cares.. j'appartiens seul #but yeah it is bc it's like this for me all the time nd ig that triggered me lmao #i mean just w my sisters.. their issue is just who i am. my personality. i havent been cruel to them. or bullied them. or put them down #they just get irritated from my personality nd who i am. thats what makes them mad. nd they kinda want me to just stop being me nd idk how #to do that and therefore we arent even talking. havent talked for a year #i wanna cry like????? what am i supposed to do??????? im so extremely fucking horrible that just by exisiting nd not being mean or cruel mak #es me unworthy of everything. idk idk like. omg i feel so stupid for being triggered by that #maybe if i had irl friends and a job and a life i wouldnt care but im a fucking loser failure worthless good for nothing idiot. ofc im this

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shamelesslyimpurrfect · 2 months

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No better feeling than melting into my cozy warm bed at the end of the day

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daisywords · 6 months

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as someone who was raised with a comparatively healthy mindset around food, I keep being baffled/concerned by other people’s eating practices that they’ll just drop like it’s no big deal. “I’m doing this intermittent fasting thing where I only eat one meal a day” girl if your one meal is the salad you eat every day for lunch I’m. that’s eating disorder behavior. and they talk about this stuff like it’s normal! “I’m trying out this new meal plan where—“ oh a starvation diet? You’re starving yourself?

#anyway spending time with a couple of my coworkers especially is making me dig in my heels #I’m eating three square meals a day! And I’m not budging on that! And I’m not going to be embarrassed about it!#Bc the worst thing is like. would I like to lose 20 pounds? Admittedly yeah #But idk I don’t think that’s the right way to do it!#Not that I am a paragon of physical fitness or anything but like! That’s literally unhealthy you are wrecking your metabolism probably #I would rather be a little squishy then live in this weird alternate universe where people are supposed to be on a diet by default!!!#and idk when girl that are already small are putting themselves through this and getting noticeably smaller it’s like #ok good for you I guess but is it worth it?#mostly writing this to reassure myself because it’s hard not to feel like I’m the one that’s wrong #idk if you feel like you need to lose weight logically you must think I’m some sort of beast or something #like I thought I was normal but maybe not haha #But anyway I hate how we just slapped new jargon on eating disorder behavior so we can talk #About it like its a health trend and something normal to do

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barghest-land · 1 year

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i wonder what's gonna happen if go crazy when i open commissions and just say i'm gonna draw only cowboys for it i know it's like. very specific lmao😭 but i just keep thinking..... what if.......

#barghest barks #it's a weight of freelance job on my shoulders #and some “rules” that are “there” but not really #and technically... we live one life right... on a small rock in space...#right.... nothing matters anyway so why not open very specific limited comms for cowboys only #i get if no one will commission that but im thinking thoughts lmao #i make better art when im motivated not only with money but also inspired by something personally #maybe that's the thing #my last english speaking braincell died sorry idk how to express myself

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isfjmel-phleg · 7 months

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🌋

#random personal stuff #personal whining feel free to ignore #am currently filled with spite and general I'll-Show-YOU-ness regarding a skill I never learned #it was implied recently that I do not know how to do this thing because of lack of interest #like I just woke up one morning and decided to be a burden on society #I KNOW perfectly well that knowing how to do this would give me greater independence #do you think I haven't been bearing the weight of this guilt most of my life #not learning was a situation beyond my control #long story weird upbringing unhelpful people lack of opportunity resultant anxiety etc.#anyway I've had it and I'd love to go out and prove that I'm not really worthless #...unfortunately I live in a small town where there's no place for someone like me to learn #because the system assumes that you are a teenager and your parents or school will teach you #or else (I suppose) that knowledge of this thing is written on every adult's heart already #so yeah...this is also a lot of why I never learned #(excuse me while I get angry for a moment)#I hate this. I hate the system. I hate living in a small town with extremely limited resources.#I hate whatever motivated the people who should have been helping me not to give me the opportunity and resources to learn.#(rant over sorry)#anyway I will eventually figure this out #but in the meantime it is Frustrating

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omtai · 19 days

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sooo hung up over the tiniest spider of all time that was climbing on my shoulder yesterday

#it was so small it didn’t even bend the tiny fine hairs it had to crawl on and over them #did it even register me as a living thing #can you imagine being so tiny you can’t even bend peach fuzz hair with your weight #i wanna weep thinking about that spider

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nympippi · 2 years

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Most of the time Dream does Techno's hair, it mainly consists of ponytails, or braids but he tries.

And Techno absolutely LOVES it, he finds it very calming whenever Dream just sits down and takes the time to braid his hair, its nice.

#c!dream #c!techno #c!dream fanart #c!techno fanart #learning to live and love au #dsmp au #jaguar hybrid dream #pippi art #Techno loves when Dream does his hair because I headcannon only people closest to you can see you that vulnerable in piglin culture.#And techno never had that within the bastion he grew up in and with the piglins he was around. The other piglins weren't fond of him #often casting him out for being so small and fragile #But then here comes Dream and he just doesnt do that. Instead he treats him like an equal and someone to respect #it baffles techno. that he does not have to prove that hes not dead weight and that he wont slow dream down.#Okay thats enough lore for today #They're so special to me #rivalsduo #rivalsblr #c!rivals my beloveds #I actually like Dream with a fluffy tail #Like who says he has to be full jaguar. But I'm not revealing his ancestry yet tho cuz I have plans #But lol I'll post the techno hair later :P #also the dream haircut. Telling yall I wanted to make his hair fluffier and a little more shaggy #I'll add more curls later tho. Maybe. only maybe #But lol enjoy! ^^

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kuromi-hoemie · 1 year

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i had a fun day 2 day ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა everyone has been so nicey 2 me all day from the minute i left my house earlier ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა ♡⁠

i went to a Retreat for the first time for work earlier 0: and I did SO good for being up since 2am it didn't even feel like it 💀

it was so chill i drove like an hour away but Away from the city so there wasn't rly traffic and the mountains r so pretty 2 drive thru (❁´◡`❁) got some rain n v low clouds and since it's autumn there's all these pretty colors. i took an edible on the way n was just jammin out n enjoying the scenery among the many safe opportunities 2 look

and then at the thing we got 2 do different ice breakers n go on decently long breaks; i got 2 hang in different groups n actually Talk w a bunch of ppl which i never have time for omg. it's nice working at a legal nonprofit, i would NOT want to do this with corporate mfs !! 😹

went around n said hii to the enbies and i ran up a hill that looked a lot smaller than it was, i made it like 80% of the way before my legs were immediately like no girl we're done !! but my brain was like but it's Right There, and i struggled 2 finish the climb but I Did !! ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა and i was so so tired i do not remember ever being that winded before 💀 getting down was so much slower n worse bc my legs were Done and when i finally made it to the bottom i laid flat on my back for like 15m, and when when i made it back to sit n chill i still need like 10 more minutes akskska. i do not b exercising !! i just wanted 2 play it looked fun and i got excited (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠)

in between things i was working on my sister's choker n kept winding up w a group of ppl around me 2 talk to about it and just talk 2 in general n the company was rly nice (❁´◡`❁) ♡ had a lot of different kinda talks 2day!! everyone is a sweetie!! some ppl r so funny n chill and i rly hope 2 get 2 talk more casually w people perhaps As Friends when i go in 👉👈

there's one girl in particular who is rly cute n sweet and i want 2 see her again ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა when I got home finally i had 2 hop on my work laptop real quick 2 look up her name again 2 make sure i didn't forget ☝️😌 we do not work at the same office but hii i am visiting next week 🐇

yippee!!!! ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა !!!

#i think i have become an introverted extrovert at some point 0:#which is rly nice bc my social anxiety was SO bad at the beginning of the year like i didn't even know where to start skskdksk #but i kinda figured it out? but it's also just being me? idk.. much 2 think. but i made good progress #i am getting a good grade in being funny and nice and talking to people !!#i want 2 kiss someone on the forehead #omg but if there's ANYONE who deserves a kiss it's this old lady who lives a few buildings down on the way to my car #where EVERY time i see her she always has something so so sweet to tell me about how i look #today she said I'm always looking fancy (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠) ♡⁠ and more but that's the main thing i remember besides the small talk #and the first time we met she asked me if i was a model fr and she's told me I'm cute and I'm just like PLEASE SKDKDKS #i can't fully tell if you're just really sweet or kinda 👀 at me but girl u r so sweet like hello do u Want a hug or a kiss ?? i love u !!#old ladies have a warmth they fill u with that just take the weight of Everything off ur shoulders n leave u feeling full n happy!!#bless old ladies fr!! literally my favorite people to interact with always i love u abuelas everywhere u r everything to me and i would do #anything for u !!!! i miss getting to help friends grandmas w stuff as a kid 🥺 it was just always great 2 talk 2 them and be close n on #good terms n stuff :3 i was the same way with their moms hehe. hi hello i want 2 help !! (⁠✿ ‚‚⌒‿⌒‚‚)#my friend is being lame and acting embarrassed but i love you please talk to me i am so so interested and think you're really #cool and funny and sweet and wise actually ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა ♡⁠ i wanna be around u if u wanna hang out #even if it's as simple as getting 2 help in the kitchen n always helping w dishes n stuff ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა aaa ♡⁠#omg i was late 2 the thing too and missed the breakfast and there's this sweet energetic old lady who's always like #omg u didn't get to eat? do u want this? can i get you some coffee or tea? and I'm always just like no no it's okay I'm gonna get it but #appreciate the offer and just ૮ – ﻌ–ა she is always looking out 4 me !! but she's just a sweetie like that !!#i think sharing food is a universally good way 2 make friends and it always warms my heart 2 meet ppl who r the same (❁´◡`❁)#they r always so so sweet 😭🥰 for my astrology girlies i correctly guessed that she's a taurus hehe 😼#there's another old lady who's an office manager for one of the offices n she is so soft spoken n sweet and i wish i got 2 hug her n talk #to her more 🥺 she's so far though omg i don't get to see her in person much #n e ways i work w some really warm bubbly ppl ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა i am a happy girlie 2day!! then im going Serious Mode again tmrw 🫡#oo i get to setup like an Actual server for a rack w linux and it's being delivered 2 my place tomorrow 0: I'm excited abt it as a project #AND my new jewelry came in today along w some cute underwear we r starting this wk off strong !!!#there was so so much more frm 2day i am just rly stoned n thinking abt it all (⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠)#if u actually read all of my ramble ily ty for letting me Talk ૮˶• ﻌ •˶ა ♡⁠

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wizardnuke · 1 year

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getting a minifridge for my bday. Extremely excited. buying myself some snacks after work today :^)

#protein shakes adn yogurt adn cream cheese dips! and probably a small two-drawer shelf thing for dry snacks because they #currently live in a shoebox on my shelf. adn some paper plates/plastic forks in stuff #huge update in the 'angela desperately needs to gain weight' saga #probably going to move my desk a foot or two to the left and remove my nightstand that is just #a trumpet case with a plastic bin put over it that i have crammed between my bed and the desk #need to move the like. umbrella stand basket i have back there bc i didn't know where else to put it lol #the umbrella basket thats holding 1. a yardstick 2. a baseball bat 3. a sword 4. a novelty umbrella i will never use for umbrella purposes

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