#This is just a rant

[thevirgodoll]

a lot of people have destroyed others by saying “I love you” but throwing them away in the trash later when communication is off. why say “I love you” if you’re going to lose patience and kindness later? why say “I love you” if you can’t have perspective for your partner’s pain, not just yours? why say “I love you” if you’re going to devalue and discard?

sometimes, people idealize us and love who they create us to be… and never get to know who we really are. they get upset when we don’t fit their projections. they think feedback means you love them less. they think days YOU are struggling is hatred. they think their lashings for going outside of the “rules” is love. they cast fear and doubts on us because they don’t even love themselves enough yet to believe you love them.

people are doing things in their best interest and should just admit it. they say they love you to get something from you. they don’t even know what “love” is. they don’t even understand the concept. when they have it they destroy it with their bare hands. but they would never want anyone to do the same.

I am tired of everyone using “love” so loosely when the truth is that they love the future ahead and can’t even have patience learning who we are now. genuinely would rather die than ever hear it again fr

[hurtmemoreplease]

I always feel like there's a wall between me and other people - theoretically, sure, I understand people. I have rules, habits, journals and notes and guidelines about what 'people' want and think and how that shapes my own behavior. But put me face to face with someone and I am incapable of understanding them as a person. I don't know what you, the person who purports to be my friend, wants from me. I don't know what I can ask from you, or when you're lying, or how much I mean to you or not.

And honestly, a lot of what I know about 'people' is projecting. I know I like to talk about myself, so I try to let people talk about themselves to me. I know I want praise, validation, recognition, so I make a note that 'people' like these things. But when its about myself, well... I don't like myself. So I don't assume that anyone else would, you know? And so my framework for understanding how people interact with me is fucked, colored by the assumption that everyone feels about me the same way I feel about myself.

It just kind of... it sucks. It sucks living in a world where you can't understand anyone, where you're trying to figure out what they're not saying. I need to pay attention to their tone, to their actions, to what they say and the way their body moves but I can never tell with any kind of certainty how much of what they communicate is a lie.

[prodigal-explorer]

if thomas gives roman a villain arc in the next episode i’m literally ending it all

ITS THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF HIS CHARACTER THE ONLY REASON WHY IT WOULD HAPPEN IS FANSERVICE BECAUSE DUMB PEOPLE WANTS TO SEE ROMAN BE A HOT BAD GUY

like come on

there’s a time and place for that (FANFIC) not in the canon series where they were JUST talking about how there’s no real bad guy.

it’s hilarious how so many of you guys are all like “everyone’s just trying to help 🥺” and “thomas doesn’t have any bad guys” until it comes to ROMAN then it’s all “i wanna see him turn evil” and “i wanna see him break and come up with a black prince costume and an evil smile” SHUT UPPPP I HATE YOUUU

[kathopsia]

look i’m partial to Steddie but how tf do you filter out tags in ao3 bc i just want actual byler centric fics

[katsuizu-stuff]

The one thing that I find funny now is that whenever I read a bkdk fic and Katsuki is portrayed as this fuck boy who goes around sleeping with both guys and girls is that canonically that’s incorrect because he doesn’t bat not one single eye towards a girl or much less to a guy unless that guy has green hair and freckled cheeks

Because it’s one thing not to date during high school in canon since Camie did confirm it but it’s a whole other thing once they graduated because by then Katsuki could have date here and there but this man didn’t even do that he instead wasted 8 years thinking about one single person and said person was Izuku

Logically Katsuki did have time to explore wether he was into girls or guys maybe even both but no he instead worked, probably took up some extra hours too, and used all his hard worked earn money and put it into Izuku’s suit because those whole 8 years he only thought about Izuku and getting him back to his side where they can work together for their rest of their lives together

[thesupernaturalhouse]

So like....if the pilots canon...so does that mean there was a year of after the pilot but before s1??

I know probably not. They're supposed to be back to back on the same day obviously

but this idea popped into my head and and could be the reason ep1 feels kinda, clunky, after watching the pilot

And this is really just me ranting to myself and sharing it with you all so- feel free to ignore this

But like, if the pilots canon then chalrie reading a book right after the extermination doesn't make much sense

But a time gap also doesn't make much sense, sense it means the cats would've jsut been static for 12 months

So the most likely thing is that the pilot changed to be a few days before the extermination, which isn't a big exchange and makes a lot more sense

Then againnnnn she also makes fireworks I the pilot to signal the end so it is kinda a big part of the pilot

So I think she reads the book to destress, remember her roots, or something rather than cause it helps her deal with the extermination

I'll probably tweak it in the au to be that since that makes the most sense to me; just change the reason Chalrie is reading the book

Now what her reason for reading it, well, maybe she jsut picked up the book lol

I know some people have said it doesn't make sense for her to read about the depressing history of how he'll came to be; but liek, people cope differently

She feels stressed, needs some comfort, none fo her parents are picking up the phone, so the book is the closest thing to them at the moment

[manicplank]

oh wow, this artist greatly captures the rivals/frenemies relationship of these two characters!

wait, nevermind. that's just ship art.

[fishsticksloser]

A quick word from our sponsor.

It's just me.

It's been a while. I'm sorry it's taking so long to get through requests, but ultimately I'm struggling with it.

Thank you guys for being patient. I know this sucks. Some of you have been waiting since November...

I know I keep apologizing, but I can't help it. I'm sorry I keep dropping off the face of the earth and leaving you all hanging. I know I used to post every other day, but my schedule doesn't allow that anymore unfortunately.

Work is killing me... I'm currently looking for something else like I have been for over a year so I can hopefully free up some of my day and eventually get my own place. But... At the moment that's not an option.

I will never ever ask for commission or money of any sort so don't even say that please.

The other unfortunate thing is that I am kinda burnt out.

I don't want to sound rude or anything, but doing requests is so taxing. I love requests... As someone who can't articulate an idea very well, I love hearing what you guys have to say. But... I feel like things that I want to do and focus on are pushed back. And I want to somehow find the time to do both, plus everything else I need/want to do.

I want to reiterate that I love requests. I am just drained from doing things people ask me to do and I'm feeling unmotivated.

So... What does this mean?

I will still be doing requests (only the ones I have in my inbox rn), but I'm going to be focusing on what I want to write more. Which means you'll most likely see more of my au before more requests are done. And... When I run out of requests, I might take a bit longer before I reopen them.

Thank you all for being here and being so supportive. I will hopefully have some new Last Echoes chapters out soon.

[atqh16]

Everytime someone tries to cling to retsuden or the last movie as proof of naruhina or sasusaku I try so hard not to combust.

Because it’s just sad. The manga had 700 chapters and the only thing you have to go on is one singular movie and one book. With the later coming 3 years after the sequel as if they’re trying to justify their decisions in said sequel. It’s just depressing. Especially when there’s a million pages in the original that disprove of them ever forming a romantic relationship.

It just makes me sad when readers develop better comprehension of the source material than a creator because most of the time it hints that the creator has lost their love of their work. And anything else they create about it afterward feels like a betrayal because it’s usually a character assassination. It’s the same with people who hold onto fanon as canon

[i-cant-sing]

I HATE my brother because he drives absolutely nuts but also-

My brother wants to buy me a phone and he's saving up. I want to buy him a phone and I'm saving up. We both have shitty phones💀

Him giving up his dream of leaving the country for his s/o and our parents so he'll be working for a long time before he makes good money. I'm gonna leave the country and my family and work for years, all alone, putting off relationships and marriage because I can't afford either for some time, because I wanna create generational wealth for my brother and my parents.

He thinks I want to leave the country because I don't like him or my family but he still tells me to just work hard and study because he'll pay for me to get out of this place and support me to chase my dreams and shit. But I don't wanna leave them, and yet I can't tell them because then they'll want me to stay and we'll all be poor and I won't be able to help mu parents or my brother fulfil their dreams until its too late.

I thinks he's way too smart and hardworking to be here. He thinks I'm too smart (I'm not, I just have good memory).

He makes fun of me and says I have actually no skill at all, but he's always asking what supplies I need for my art works, or what ingredients I need for my baking business, and even has told me that I should make a paypal or something to get commisuons when I tell him the number of followers I have (I havent told him my account or the content I write.)

We don't see each other most of the time because he works night shifts at the hospital while I'm at home. And when he returns, I'm at college. But here he is, sleeping in my room on my bed because he claims that my room has "the perfect temperature".

He doesn't have many friends left to hang out with now because he kinda grew up and they all moved due to work and busy schedules. I don't hang out with friends often because my social energy drains out fast. But we both like to eat out, so here we are eating dominoes and watching Netflix.

I suppose he sorta realises that in a few years I'll be moving away for god knows how long, and he just wants to savour these moments because he's not sure if he could ever have them again before life kicks in.

And I want to savour them too, and then work hard enough to pay off for his, his future kids and my parents (and my) dreams💖 we all deserve it.

Still won't let him eat from my plate tho. He double dips and that's just disgusting.

[newagevictorianorphan]

this is an add on from my last post but i truly think some women who engage in feminine activities/roles have such a fucking victim complex. don’t get me wrong i wear curlers to bed, most of my closet contains pink, i wear makeup most days, and i enjoy baking, but some women have this fucking delusion that EVERYONE is against them and their femininity. and i get it bc it’s real and it happens, but some of u OVER exaggerate it 😭😭 non feminine women ESPECIALLY woc who don’t conform to femininity have been subjected to harassment and violence. i’m not comparing but some of u need to pipe down ab ONE person criticizing u for liking girly things or having a traditionally feminine role

[gutz-radio]

Anytime I see a post about how Izzy hands deserved what happened to him or how it was totally justified for Ed to be a horrible person to him I get so damn angry. I get so angry and I need to just speak my mind at how angry it makes me.

To me, Ed in season two has shown abusive behaviours. Plain and simple. He has shown a pattern to physically assaulting Izzy. One toe is a single instance, but two more is a pattern. He tells Izzy if he doesn't do what he wants he is easily replaceable. And it isn't just abuse to Izzy. It's the whole crew. He's horrible to all of them. They're all scared of him. The scene where Ed is talking about the vibe on the ship shows me no one at all is comfortable around him.

I love Ed as a character don't get me wrong. I relate to him in parts, mostly how he can't handle his feelings and how messy it is and his self hatred. And also the abuse he faced. I love Ed. But to just close your eyes and slap hands over your ears and go lalalalala at all the shit he's done but then put all the blame on Izzy angers me. Yes, I'm not gonna deny Izzy fucked up. He is toxic as hell to Ed as well, and I never justify the stuff he did because it was bad. But never, ever, does that justify being abused. The only person responsible for how Ed has treated everyone is Ed himself. Ed isn't a fucking toddler who doesn't comprehend what he's doing. He's a grown adult man. Izzy cannot force him to do shit. At the end of the day, the only person who has a choice to what to do is Ed himself. Yes, Izzy was horrible to Ed when he was the most vulnerable. He said vile stuff, and kicked him down when he was weak. And that is shitty and the blame for Izzy's own actions is on Izzy. But the same goes for Ed. Ed chose to hurt the crew, and he chose to hurt Izzy. This was all his choice. No one forced him to do anything. Outside factors all contribute to it, yes, and it all worsened his mental state. But it is still his fault. And as far as I'm concerned, Ed owes the crew and izzy a MASSIVE fucking apology and a hell of a lot of change. Izzy realised what he said to Ed was wrong. He knows he fucked up. He tells Stede as much. But Ed is also at fault and I'm pissed how people keep just acting like he had no say in it whatsoever and he was purely at the mercy of his fucking subordinate.

Personally? I hate how serious discourse is in this fandom and this is a fictional show and I don't treat fictional characters like real people. But the victim blaming, and the blatant hypocrisy of how people treat Izzy compared to Ed angers me. Either they all suck and we should hate them both, or we stop giving a damn and stop blaming characters and harassing people over a fucking FICTIONAL CHARACTER.

[honeypleasejustkillme]

any one that actually fakes being bpd just for the “fun of it”,, i hope you truly don’t understand how debilitating this disorder is. i am constantly apologizing, constantly dissociating and having flashbacks, constantly splitting on the people i love, losing friends because i look like a monster, cutting people out because of imagined situations and making problems that don’t even exist, being impulsive, abusing things and myself.. nothing about this is fun, quirky or romantic.. if you have decided you are truly bpd and are looking into research and trying to understand is one thing but completely faking is another. i wouldn’t wish this disorder on anyone.

[kazbrekkerfast]

right so I've started going to counselling sessions about anxiety because my autism assessment is now "on hold" because half the service quit, including everyone involved in my case

and like

wtf do I talk about in any of the sessions because like I have no idea what I'm anxious about because emotions don't make sense to me because of autism

the woman's lovely but the sessions are not helpful at all

[peyton-likes-pirates]

Emptiness

I never knew emptiness could be so heavy until I started paying attention to the void filling up my chest.

It’s suffocating, a constant weight at the back of my mind, a niggling doubt, urging me to run away and stand still at the same time; like an undercurrent of nervous energy that follows me around like a shadow, unnoticed, but never not present.

It’s a ceaseless push and pull between comfort and cowardice, a tug-of-war between me, myself and I.

I never knew smiles could be so fake until one day, I looked at my own.

[jasonsthunderthighs]

I hate my twins partner

My twin has been with this bastard child for a year. NOTHIN good came from the relationship and I WISH I didn't take this long for ‘em to see this.

He stole 320$ from ‘em the day they got it from Mum (she sends us money for Christmas, I got my money, but runnin low cause of basically helpin my twin get food since their partner won't and just let my twin starve for days at a time and bills on my end) and gambled it away, not winnin ANY money from it.

He's done SO much more to my twin that I've said on other posts and this REALLY is the icin on the bullshit cake my twin has to deal with.

Also found out that he's now in jail cause he was caught speedin in a parkin lot and also had drugs in the car. That car was my twins car. Their ONLY way to get the fuck out of there.

And now they're stuck.

They can't even make it to Christmas with the family.

Me and others have told ‘em to sell his shit and use the money to get the car out and get the fuck out of there.

They want out. I'm goin to get ‘em out.

I'll do ANYTHIN for my twin. Especially to get back up here.

I just want my twin back up here and not miserable anymore. That's all I want for Christmas. ANYTHIN to get ‘em back up here so they can finally eat normally and do whatever they want.

I'm tired of this guy. My friends REALLY want to fuckin murder him and one of my friends said he's lucky they're on parole, otherwise he'd be FUCKED.

I want him out of my twins life and stop bein a fuckin man child who just steals, cheats, lies and gambles away money from my twin. He even got pissed off that I refused to send him 20$ to gamble it away.

I'd rather get ran over AGAIN than send HIM money that's not goin to help my twin. Fuck him and the couch he sits on.

Anyways, thanks to whoever reads my shit. I know it gets annoyin to read my rants instead of DC posts that I promised. I just can't focus on social media(s) at this point of my life with how shit is goin. My mental health can only take so much nowadays.

Thanks to those who sent me asks to check up on me. I'm tryin to stay afloat, but it's hard.

Thank you, Lyn (@scariusaquarius) for bein there for me and just bein am overall amazin friend and support even if we talk here and there. I hope to see you in the future and hang out like we've planned so long ago 💜

I hope everybody has a wonderful holiday and happy new year.

May 2024 be kinder to all of us who's struggled for the past three years 🖤