#WE LIVE IN A CRAZY LIFETIME FOLKS

[doli-nemae]

I forgot to post about that but!!

Few weeks ago I participated in exhibition (first time since I ended school and first time with my digital drawing). And because of my burn-out, I decided to use my older drawings and....

YES, SPARROWS AND LUCIEN WERE ON SMALL EXHIBITION. IN GOTHENBURG. AND BECAUSE I MESSED UP WITH SIZES, THEY HADE WHOLE WALL (except for two lower arts , they aren't mine!!! o-o)

[dorianbrightmusic]

PSA

-OCD is not a synonym for neat or preoccupied with tidiness. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is all about distressing intrusive thoughts and rituals (compulsions) used to combat those thoughts.

-Intrusive thoughts are not synonymous with silly things I want to do. They're deeply upsetting, often taboo mental apparitions. Letting them win is the last thing anyone wants, and nobody is immoral for having them. (See 'impulsive thoughts' if you need a term.)

-Anorexic is not a synonym for thin or emaciated. The majority of anorexic people have OSFED atypical anorexia – that is, their BMI is above 18.5. You cannot judge the severity of someone's illness by their appearance. (If you're worried about someone, look out more for rapid weight loss than thinness, even when it's occurring in someone in a larger body. 10kg in 10 weeks is never a good thing.)

-Eating disorders are not synonymous with just anorexia and bulimia. Anorexia is an ED, but it's nowhere near the most common. Bulimia is an ED, but again, not the most common. Together, they do not constitute the most common. The most common ED is binge-eating disorder, and the second most common is atypical anorexia, which is one of many, many OSFED categories. Those living with ARFID, pica, night-eating syndrome, rumination disorder, subthreshold BN, subthreshold BED, and orthorexia all deserve dignity, compassion, and acknowledgement. Remember: EDs are not necessarily thin, and never glamorous.

-Schizophrenic is not a synonym of all over the place, abnormal, unpredictable, dangerous, or crazy. Nor is schizoid or schizotypal. Folks with schizophrenia spectrum disorders live with hallucinations, delusions, disorganised thoughts/behaviour, and/or catatonia. They are far more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrators, and go to huge lengths to act okay even when distressed by symptoms.

-Schizophrenic is also not a synonym of multiple personalities/volatile. For the disorder involving having different facets of personality that are generally unaware of each other, see Dissociative Identity Disorder, and even then, don't assume it's a) dramatic as it is in the movies; b) evil; or c) trivial. DID is a trauma disorder.

-Delusional is not a synonym of wrong. Nor is it the same as this politician/friend is saying something I do not like/that is potentially dangerous. Delusions are false, fixed beliefs held despite evidence. And generally, folks with delusions don't tend to proselytise them. I know that certain politicians have beliefs that seem to persist in the face of evidence, but nevertheless, we don't need to stigmatise mental illness further to call out poor political/social behaviour. If you need a word for the pundit spewing potentially dangerous content, use 'dangerous' or 'wrong', but don't call them delusional.

-Bipolar is not a synonym of all over the place or fluctuating results. Bipolar disorder involves mood states that, even in the rapid cycling form, tend to last at least 3-4 days (mania) and weeks (depression). If you need a word for the weather, use 'British' instead.

-Psychotic is not a synonym of evil. Psychosis is losing touch with reality, whether it be through hallucinations or delusions. It doesn't make a person bad or violent. It's just a neurological phenomenon that may be distressing. It's also relatively common: 6-15% of people will hallucinate in their lifetime.

-ADHD is not a synonym of just quirky/scattered/forgetful/unfocussed/lazy/careless. ADHD is fundamentally a disorder of being able to choose where to direct attention, rather than of just I can't focus. If someone can't tune out the noise of the crowd, but can't prevent themself focussing on something trivial because their brain is wired that way, it's not laziness or just being quirky/scattered.

-Autistic meltdown is not a synonym of temper tantrum.

-Borderline is not a synonym of harridan.

-Narcissist is not a synonym of abuser.

-Mentally ill is not a synonym of volatile or bad person. This doesn't mean we have to make something artificially positive out of mental disorders. If there is good to be found in certain disorders, great; if there is nothing positive about living with certain others, that doesn't make you any less real or resilient than anyone else. It's okay to have complex feelings about your own disorders. It's okay to feel exhausted or frustrated by a disorder. But never should anyone have to face stigma.

[nerdygoth77]

Some of my favorite Porter Gage lines!

“Keep your irradiated ASS away from me” 

“Boss”  

“Piss me off and I’ll still kick your ass from here to the Atlantic.” 

“Sure was fun! Huh Boss?” 

“I ain’t got the brains for mazes” 

“How's it go? “This town ain't big enough for you and me?” Awh nevermind :(“ 

“Ain't no way people paid for this shit, I refuse to believe it.” 

“Who the hell's idea of fun was this shit?”

“Ever feel the tiniest bit hurt that the institute hasn’t tried to replace you with a synth? I mean c’mon! I’m important. I-I’m worth replacing......” 

“Think about it…. If beer is still good after two hundred years.. Is it really something worth drinking?” 

“Personally, wouldn’t ever trust anyone to knock me out with gas or whatever, even if they claimed they were going to help.” 

“Can you imagine… having so much extra shit you’d need someplace to store it all” 

“Not paying ATTENTION-” (I fuck up a lot and trigger traps LOL)

“Not a big fan of being underground, so the sooner we wrap this up the better.” 

“Once upon a time, I suppose folks had nothing better to do than sit around outside”

“Greeaaat, because I ain’t seen enough trees and grass.” 

“Like I hadn’t already seen enough glowing shit to last a lifetime.” 

“Believe it or not, this is more civilized than some places i've lived”

"One of these bugs ever takes me down you tell people I died from trippin’ over my gun, fallin’ off a cliff, anything! It would be less embarrassing.” 

“Places like this….Makes me realize life was mostly shit before the bombs fell” 

“God…. Being in here is soul sucking.” 

“I hope you know where you’re going, I forgot my map.” 

“Least we ain't gotta worry about being hit by a train…..Right?”

“No question that shit was made to last…Maybe the wrong shit but still.”

“Me? I like night time. Something about it just feels right.” 

“You’re a real stunner, ya know that?”

“Are you shittin’ me” 

“Ever seen a dust angel? Bettin’ I could make one.” 

“Shiiiiitt I hate getting weeettt” 

“I’ve got a strong stomach, but ewwugh.” 

“You’re my kind of crazy boss.” 

“Boy do I love watching you work.” 

“Anyone ever tell you….your ass looks great in that vault suit.” 

“Don’t know about you, but I can’t see in the dark.” 

“You’ll always be the overboss of my heart- Hehehehe I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t keep a straight face.”

“Blamo” 

“Sheeeeeettt” 

“Don't mind me, just throwing up a bit in my mouth here.” 

“Damn, I hate insects. Like I needed something else to wipe off my fucking shoes” 

“VerMIN”

Everything. Just everything he says is wonderful. His voice is so fucking sexy.

"I'm not that big of a dick"

"Bullshit. Without me I'd be scraping your guts off the floor"

"Before you start pissing all over the plan, why don't you take a minute to hear me out."

"You ready to listen?"

"You're one ruthless son of a bitch aren't ya?"

"Awwwhh C'mon :("

"Just give this a chance, you might even have a little fun."

"Tell yuh whut."

"Everything all peachy with our friendly neighborhood psychopaths?"

"Welcome home, boss."

"I knew you had it in you."

"Next, the fun stuff."

"You look like shit."

He refers to getting high as "Getting blitz." LOL

"Well that oughta make things more interesting"

"hehehe OOPS."

"The fun we can have in this thing!"

"That one have pictures in it?"

"I like a good haul as much as the next guy-"

"You sure you got everything? There's a few more rocks you haven't picked up."

"I never had the hands for that kind of shit. Glad you do."

"You got some nimble fingers there huh?"

"You okay?" (When he shows concern?? UGH)

"Well now, would you look at that."

"Oh for the love of-"

"You gonna build me something nice?"

"Lookin good, Boss."

"oooh, gutsy."

"Pretty tough mutt you got there." (Any dialogue about Dogmeat is great)

"Aww, look at how nice and clean this is, and I here am, dirtying the place up." (one of my favorites)

There's so so many more but I didn't want this to get crazy long

[yes-these-obsessions-are-healthy]

Because I can’t leave well enough alone or stop obsessing over the music scene in Zaun, I have a few headcanons as to the soundscape of the city.

1. Zaun and Piltover operate in a quasi-Steam/cyberpunk and steam “utopian” punk environments, respectively. For Zaun especially it operates like something sewn together with late 19th century industrial slums (NYC, London) mixed with Blade Runner vibes. Pop, alternative rock, industrial, hip-hop and rap, but also punk, exist.

2. Personally, personally, and with some cues from @lullabyes22-blog fic Forward, Never Forget, I imagine the musical landscape of Zaun changed dramatically within 40 years (roughly the lifetime of Vander and Silco). 200 years ago, Zaun’s primary music genres were folk, vaudeville, work songs, shanties, and novelty songs. Economic stranglehold by Piltover ensured that “high minded” and “perfected” genres we associate with the wealthy, operas, ballets, and the like were difficult or even inaccessible for Zaunites to compose for, but obviously commonplace in Piltover as representative of their cultural DNA. The influx of refugees into Zaun from the Rune Wars, the subsequent squeeze, impoverishment, and exploitation in slum city living, also coincided with the flowering of many spirited genres of music: swing, jazz, blues, and respective dances deemed far too scandalous and libertine for Piltover.

So as I said, in order for it to make sense why a city seems to be comprised of Edwardians standing next to literal punks, steam and otherwise, we need to internalize the miraculous phenomenon that within Silco and Vander’s lifetime, a century’s worth of musical development (1910s - 2020) occurred within Zaun. Somehow, some way, rock, metal, pop, hip-hop, rap, club, funk, dance, industrial, punk, etc. developed and flourished like kudzu. Essentially: If old white people in our real world were ever on record saying this-and-this music was corrupting the youth, then it was in Zaun. If it challenged authority or made you wanna shake and bop up and down or grind, it was music from Zaun.

3. So this means Silco and Vander would’ve borne witness to the music scene go from Puttin’ on the Ritz and Lindy Hop and If I Had a Hammer to You Really Got Me (The Kinks) and War Pigs (Black Sabbath) to Sex Pistols to Sylvester and Sly & the Family Stone to You Spin Me (Right Round) and Depeche Mode and The Clash and Public Enemy to Wu Tang Clan and Smells Like Teen Spirit and Rage Against the Machine and Selena and West Coast-East Coast rap divergence to RECESSION CLUB/POP, fucking IMAGINE FUCKING DRAGONS and wispy atmospheric female artist pop and DUBSTEP.

Literally this creaky-looking Peaky Blinders/Scarface sharkrat man would have to have grown up from going as a child listening to jazz to being in his early 40s and hearing Imagine fucking Dragons on the wind in the public square for some reason and Pusha T doing his thing. Do you understand what I’m saying how crazy that is.

It’s crazy to think about. Usually music genres fall to the wayside as developments are made and genres evolve out of them and into others, but Zaun exists in a world where the past is the present. Everything is alive and sustained all at once, like undying undergrowth, the coexistence of subculture. Little by little, the Old Guard may shift a bit, but the fashion and sensibilities and tastes will never completely die out, no matter how much further Zaun progresses within its bubbling urban cauldron of rust-and-reuse.

[schweizercomics]

(turns out McKay's DIDN'T have Mad Max cars lying in wait on the last leg of the trip to protect their prize money by taking out anyone who made it that far)

The family and I did the Ultimate McKay's Road Trip Challenge and had a great time. McKays had clearly prepared, and probably to the capacity that they could've, but the sheer volume of folks participating far outstripped what they were capable of handling according to their original plan and they were working like crazy to pivot as conditions changed from store to store, lines and parking situations became unsafe or unmanageable, and supplies ran out (ink for the stamps, paper for the forms, etc, in addition to the prizes).

Despite all this, and despite the chaos, almost everyone we encountered (and we encountered a lot of folks) was excited to be there, grateful for the store's generosity, and, for those that made it all the way across, elated to have completed it and received the wildly large grand prize.

The grand prize, BTW, was $800 in credit to be used at any of the stores. I've bought hundreds of books over the years from McKays, mostly priced between 75 cents and four dollars; At their prices, $800 is essentially a lifetime supply of used books.

And they didn't have a cap on the number of winners; if you did it, you got it.

The challenge was to celebrate their 50th anniversary, and I hope that the logistical challenges, which were many & staggering (though far moreso for the stores than the participants, save for the heat for those susceptible to it), don't cast a negative light on a branch of bookstores for whom so many thousands and thousands of people have such enthusiasm and affection as to prompt their participation in a 500+ mile cannonball run in the middle of a july worksweek.

I'm sure that the customers wish some things had been done differently and planned for differently, but not nearly as much as do the McKays folks. But this wasn't a Fyre Festival, this was a Woodstock.

Anyway, it was stressful at times, and we fretted over the possibility of its completion, but McKays bent over backwards to try and make it to where if folks were committed to making the whole trek, they got the whole prize. They made tons of allowances as situations changed.

If you haven't been to a McKays, and are ever passing along I-40, I hope that the mania surrounding this event gives makes clear how beloved this shop is to folks who live in Tennessee and North Carolina, and outsiders (like me) who pass, and stop at, it frequently, and makes you wanna see why.

It's the best used bookstore I've ever been to (no individual McKay's store has the scale and scope that does Powell's or the Strand, but their prices are DRAMATICALLY lower than either). I'm incredibly grateful for their prompting and hosting such a great adventure with my fellow readers, and their generosity in prizes in celebration of fifty years.

[elucienweekofficial]

Elucien Fanfic Crossword Answer Key- Smut Day One

How did you do? It's our hope through this week of puzzles that folks are able to find an existing fanfiction that speaks to them! Consider these a small masterlist filled with recommendations from the community itself. Below you'll find every fanfiction recommended attached to the author who created it, added in the order they were submitted! Fics were also categorized to their best of our ability. Check them out below!

[Please check all tags before engaging!]

You Look Like Bad News by @the-lonelybarricade

I gotta have you, I gotta have you - Elain hated living next to Lucien Vanserra. Almost as much as she hated the girl he was fucking.

When You Move, I'm Moved by @ataraxiasflame

When Elain Archeron flees Nesta and Cassian's Mating Ceremony for a moment alone after an emotional experience, her mate follows her out of concern for what he feels through their bond, resulting in an evening neither had planned, but both had been wanting for ages.

I've been lost to you, sunlight (flew like a moth to you, sunlight) by @whatishowedyouinthedark

In all of her dreams, there is sunlight. That is the one constant in every single one Elain remembers after waking. And if there is no sunlight, she can still feel it beating against her skin in time with the heartbeat that has become a steady, comforting song in her mind. Sometimes it feels as if, when she dreams, she has woken from the sadness that is her reality into what should be her life.

-

or, the elucien breeding kink one :)

What We Wanted by @valamerys

Lucien’s first Fire Night as High Lord of the Spring Court puts he and Elain’s fledgling relationship in an awkward position.

The Fires Of Eventide by @animezinglife

A quiet evening. A secluded cottage in Spring.

Beasts Inside Us by @crazy-ache

“If you so much as spill a drop of her blood, I will gladly show you just what kind of beast I am. And you will find, once I’ve ripped your throat out with my bare hands, and burnt this manor and everyone inside to ash and bone, that I am something far, far worse than just a beast.”

While staying in the mortal lands with the Band of Exiles, Elain Archeron stumbles across a familiar face from her past. Only Graysen wants revenge. Her only hope is that her mate, Lucien Vanserra, can save her—in more ways than one.

About Damn Time by @strawbrerian-writes

Elain planned to have a quiet, cool day off. The universe took one look at her plans and said "bet."

They Say I Did Something Bad by @separatist-apologist

Then why's it feel so good?

Elain Archeron's fiance is a total stranger to her, though his family's reputation for cruelty and avarice is not. Dreading a lifetime with a cruel, cold man, Elain decides to have one last night of freedom. Attending an infamous masquerade ball, Elain meets a stranger who offers to show her pleasure beyond her wildest dreams. It's just one night of debauchery. What could possibly go wrong?

Oh, Lord Save Me by @separatist-apologist

“How come I never see you at confession?” he pressed. Elain almost screamed.

Lucien never saw her at confession because the phrase "forgive me father, for I have sinned," was the start of every filthy fantasy she’d ever had about him.

I'm Going Out Tonight by @separatist-apologist

He rolled his neck and Elain paused, drinking him in. Even with his red hair plastered to his face, sweat soaking through his thin band t-shirt, Lucien Vanserra was the hottest man she’d ever seen.

And bass players were so her type.

“What did you say?”

He grinned, resting a broad hand over his muscular chest. “I asked if you had a man.”

Her mind flashed an image of Graysen. Too busy with work and the woman he was sleeping with on the side. She was there to pretend she didn’t know about that, wasn’t she? Did Graysen ever answer that question honestly, besides?

Holding up her drink, Elain ran her tongue suggestively over the straw. Lucien’s smile sharpened, those russet eyes darkening with obvious want.

“I don’t remember.”

Sharp as Glass and Twice as Bright by @valamerys

When he speaks again, it’s a low rumble in his chest. “If you keep doing that, dove, neither of us is going to get any sleep.”

Heat coils in Elain’s stomach. “I’m not tired.”

[Elucien + classic THERE IS ONLY ONE BED WHAT DO.] [yes i just did one for each of my ships dont look at me im a monster]

End Game by @separatist-apologist

Lucien Vanserra has been in love with Elain Archeron for as long as he's known her. With time ticking down before her inevitable engagement to Graysen, Lucien only has one goal: convince her to be his

But Only If You Dare by @kingofsummer93

It all started innocently enough. A silly game, a drunken dare.

Except now Elain can't sleep.

And it's all because of him.

I'm Damned If I Do by @separatist-apologist

“Get it off your chest,” he told her dismissively, returning to his work.

Let her scream and yell. It would change nothing given Rhysand and Feyre were doing this purposefully to push them together. Had Elain guessed that, too? Had she decided he was the safer person to vent her rage into?

She strode into his office and, like a petulant brat, swept everything off his desk. Lucien glared, irritated with the mess she’d made—she’d inadvertently shattered a rather nice crystal vase he’d gotten from Dawn, wrecking the little blue plant within in her recklessness.

“By all means, get it off my desk as well,” he told her dryly. Her chest heaved in the pretty silver dress she wore, pressing her breasts up against the neckline. Lucien had to look at his hands to stop looking at her body, though she was closer than she'd ever been

Our Hearts Still Beat The Same by @zenkindoflove

"She stood on the bridge for a few minutes, hoping that the rain might wash away the seething anger and bottomless anguish that crackled under her skin. More, more, more, repeated again and again to a steady beat. His heart beat."

Elucien, Two-shot, Post-ACOSF. Part One is Cozy Tension. Part Two is all smut.

Can read this fic independent of the series. They are separate stories but connected by song inspirations.

Both Forever and Rather Die by @foundress0fnothing

Elain runs a sex cult. She’s looking for something new. Lucien is new.

save the date by @thelovelymadone

Elain Archeron has had a perfect life.

Prettiest girl in her grade, first sibling to be engaged and living thousands of miles away from home. But then, her then fiancé cheats on her at their engagement party after she cajoled her entire family to come thousand of miles for her engagement.

Now, after four years, she’s going to be brave. She’s going to go to her eldest sister’s wedding as the maid of honor and bring … a paid actor to be her boyfriend.

Despite the lingering trauma of her ex-boyfriend posting her phone number on Internet forums and refusal to share how her childhood crush broke her confidence at her engagement party—what could possibly go wrong?

Call Me Selfish, Call Me Wrecked by @crazy-ache

Like countless times before, they’re dangling Elain in front of him without a mention of her name. And for once, Lucien decides to selfishly take it. “I’ll marry her,” he pretends to investigate his nails, even if his heart is about to burst from his chest. “But only if she agrees to it as well. That’s my only condition.”

Elain agrees. Lucien learns the consequences of not shutting up.

A Dance In Winter by @animezinglife

While visiting the Winter Court leading up to Solstice, Elain and Lucien find some time alone.

talk refined by @temperedink

Newly mated Elain has pretty much adjusted to being fae after all this time. What she’s still hung up on? Being able to express things in the bedroom. Luckily, Lucien is totally willing to let her try that out on him.

[justafriend-ql]

times never let me go said: happy pride! 🏳️‍🌈 (part 3)

final installment by popular request 3 people and my will to procrastinate (see part 1 and part 2)

narrow hallways - our community's biggest and most underappreciated ally

2. nuengdiao ordering palm to be his friend right after insulting him this is the bitchy emo twink representation we deserve

3. palm's brain fully shutting down when nueng brings his fingers to his neck

4. (watching your father cut a man's finger off in your living room) yes, the horrors are indescribable, but you've got to serve

5. have you ever been cockblocked by a roti sai mai seller

6. the scene going a full 10 shades darker when nueng agrees to dance with ben we have entered the twilight zone

7. nueng looking palm up and down not once, not twice, but three times

8. photos taken seconds before disaster

9. nueng vowing to strike fear into the hearts of homophobes everywhere

10. mam's gaydar going off like crazy

11. alexa play 'you're sexy, i'm sexy' by eric nam

12. friendly reminder that at this point palm has seen nueng have several emotional breakdowns, willingly poison himself with alcohol, throw up off the side of a boat, and call palm his running dog like palm get upppp

13. you heard it here first folks #bebravebeyou

14. mam asking about how palm feels and him admitting that it felt good to kiss nueng I LOVE THIS SONG

15. thank you for your service pond

16. the face ben pulls when chopper says he's never been ben's type (he will ask chopper out in approx. 2 minutes)

17. mam accepting nueng as her son-in-law 🥺

18. "you can do it as much as you want" sir this is a public retail store have some decorum

19. palm's face when nueng takes off his shirt so he can join him in the tub LMAO in the midst of his grief there was suddenly powerful lust

20. spiderman pointing meme (gay cousin edition)

21. stream 'smile please' by the cast of my school president for clear skin

22. get fucking wrecked ben men aren't shit

23. kiss. his. little. cheekie!!

24. you are so stupid we are about to fuck in my office

25. who's going to tell him

26. chopper: "i think nueng will need a lot of energy for palm" ben's reaction to that information:

27. people died

28. historians will say they were very good friends

29. established gays coaching the baby gay <3

30. "you are two men dating each other. that's already hard enough. your love is impossible in this lifetime. you always have to hide your relationship. it's impossible for you to get married and start a family. you need to be reborn. things may be better at that time." and in palm and nueng's present lifetime it's the same DO YOU HEAR WHAT JOJO IS SAYING

🇹🇭 MARRIAGE EQUALITY NOW 🇹🇭

[anarchywoofwoof]

i think it's kind of funny that people still like telling anarchists and socialists to be "realistic" whenever we start dreaming too loud or too big. as if human existence has ever lacked a certain stubbornness that gets shit done. how many transformative, world changing ideas were shrugged off 'cause they were "unrealistic" at some point?

every mind-blowing change that shook the foundations of this world started as a "nah, that can't happen" in an entire section of society's book. think about what we have done. abolishing slavery? the right to vote for women & minorities? they used to tell us that there was no practical reason to assume a human being would ever need a computer in their home. that is a real quote.

it's the very essence of progress to dream past our circumstances and what is in our hands, to grasp for even the wispiest strands of clouds even if we have people in our ear every single day telling us there's nothing but ceiling above us.

and this is the same energy we gotta keep when folks start humming the "utopian" tune whenever we talk about things like universal basic income or global healthcare. yeah, we know these things sound massive, like they're galaxies away. but weren't all great things once? we are a species who discovered fire and send our citizens to outer space, thousands of miles away from our planet. we can't feed everyone? we can't house everyone? bullshit. it's possible.

i mean… the society we have now isn't some everlasting monolith, despite what the global corporate elite would like for you to believe. it's fluid, evolving, blank and bare. it's malleable. it's a canvas meant absorb and showcase the bold and vibrant colors that we bring to it. and what could be more bold than saying “yeah, maybe everyone deserves a bit of security, a bit of guaranteed compassion, some human decency?”

and like, i'm not saying let's snap our fingers and make the world a socialist paradise overnight. yes, i do wish that was possible. but i am saying why cap our dreams? why put a limit on our horizon? if we're not aiming for the stars, what are we doing? are half-measures what we all showed up here to look for, or are we here for answers? no, we may not be able to accomplish absolutely everything we want to achieve in our lifetimes, but why does starting the car and pulling out of the driveway have to be the hardest part of the journey?

yeah, it might be loud, it might be "obnoxious" to constantly shout about a world where everyone’s got what they need to live a good life, and it might sound crazy and utopian to a lot of people, but maybe that's exactly what we have to do. be the bullhorns, be the annoying, constant reminder that we deserve better, we can do better and we will do better.

and let's be honest, this world will never, ever gonna be perfect. it ain't ever gonna be a snapshot of someone’s utopia, but that doesn't mean we stop crafting the grandest, most magnificent visions that we can imagine. you have to be willing to chase the impossible because that’s when you stumble into beautiful "maybes" that can genuinely change the way that the world functions.

shooting for anything less than the loftiest goals would be selling ourselves short. we have come too far and accomplished too much to have anyone tell us that what we want isn't possible. it'll be the hardest thing we've ever done, but in time, we will see the fruits of our labor come to bear.

[fight4me]

Okay I'm curious, I know you've got a few character headcanons like for Blade and Maru, but how about Dusty? :P

Unfortunately I unloaded most of my Dusty stuff on @ask-dusty-boy. But these are freshly baked headcannons. (Hopefully not half baked.)

He can't flirt. And he's mostly oblivious to the fact that he can't flirt.

He crushed pretty hard on Ishauni for a few years after the WATGR. They both knew it was never gonna work out. (Maybe in a different lifetime, in a different world.) Whoa. Not sure where we just went but I'm back :') Nowadays they don't see each other much, due to both of their crazy schedules, but they are friends. And, Dusty's still pretty much one of her biggest fans.

He's good in front of the public for one reason: Dottie. Dottie saw the best in him and sought to bring it out. She helped him go over possible phrases for TV interviews. She had him go over it until his pauses, 'umms' and 'buts' were minimum. And like, when in doubt just smile into the camera Dusty.

Has house plants. The little green shrub-y leafy kinds.

Is able to prepare food. I say 'prepare' and not 'cook'. It's food. It's edible *most of the time* and sometimes burnt, man.

Likes both dogs AND cats. (As do I, Dusty.) He is neutral on the cat person/dog person thing. He's basically Switzerland.

He's still close to El Chu and is actually really close to Rochelle as well. El Chu is like a brother and Rochelle is like a sister to him.

Hugs. He's the king of side hugs. He side hugs his fellow racers, those he's fairly close to. Full hugs are reserved for those he's closest to, being Skipper, Sparky, Dottie, Chug. He's hugged most of the team at some point. Save for Blade. Blade is still too intimidating. Of course he got hugs form all of the smokejumpers. And there was that one time Dipper almost suffocated him by giving him a bear hug, but he lives to tell the tale.

One more I almost forgot. He's definitely a redhead. I know that's a lot of folks' headcannon around the fandom, but like Yes. I agree. 🙂

I should spend a little more time trying to write Dusty. I feel like these are "awkward headcannons" XD. But anyways, they were fun.

[phayte-kins]

Spend the weekend in Boston for my Beetlejuice Tour Extravaganza! Saturday night tickets were up in the balcony, off to the side, which made for a crazy perspective given how wonky the angles on the set were already.

A friend of a friend came with us, and thank god/satan he was outgoing, so I was able to do the backdoor like I wanted to!

Kindly ignore how crazy my face is, but I get to meet these lovelies! I forgot a marker so I only got these photos, but a picture will last a lifetime. We stopped at the potty so I imagine we missed a few of the quicker to leave cast members, like Britney and Will, but I was still so pleased to meet and see anyone! And the folks hanging out back with us were lovely as well.

And then! I went again!

Front row seats! I hard a hard time not watching the musicians most of the show because it was so interesting watching them switch guitars and instruments and see when exactly they play and for what. Something I think a lot of theater-goers forget about- the music is just as important as the action on stage!

That Guy was only a couple seats to my side, but Justin absolutely made prolonged eye contact with me while he was finding him.

I was worried about my row mates, as they were mostly Theater Goers with what I assume are season passes, but it was almost more fun sitting next to these women who had no idea what was coming and were dying the whole time!

If you’ve been delaying finding a tour location nearby, let this be your sign! The show is amazing! I cannot wait until the show makes it closer to where I live. Next summer!

[findingcrowncity]

Yo if anyone’s out there, it’s been a while, and a lot has changed. Life can really bring you from here to there and back and make you wonder how the hell we even got here. It’s always times like this do i ever come back to “dying” media and air out my mind because I feel like another shift is in the air. I was just reminiscing with my best friend, Ngia, that too bad Myspace was gone and took a lot of our childhood out with it. There were years of art and “life” on that site, just as much as on this site. It’s crazy years ago thinking that was the beginnings of an internet media and we were there for it at the time. Also crazy thinking of all the times spent on AIM has come and gone. And if all that has came up and left, what else will to? What else stays behind? What should we intentionally bookmark to make sure we leave something behind? ----And when it’s all said and done, does it even exist? The internet exists in binary code yet we hold so much weight in our world. It’s truly crazy to wrap my mind around it because we still very much have experiences in this world that doesn’t really exist. So what about the world that does exist? How are our lives right now huh? There are moments in the barbershop where folks just dive into their phones because they’re tuned into that world. Into some digital screen ya know? I’m not baggin on it right now.. But I’m saying it’s truly manifested its presence in our world, you wouldn’t be reading this right now if you weren’t tuned in. This internet world has manifested itself so deeply into our societies that we’re hyper conscious about it. Over stimulated with so much media from all over the world at such a fast pace. Everything really can exist everywhere all at the same time. I’m speaking for myself right here, but I’ve enjoyed my many detours away and trying to grasp on to whatever I have left, here in the real world. After close to a decade away from making any serious art, I ended up taking a life changing shroom trip a year after finishing barber college and unexpectedly got back into art. I also chalked myself up as a has been, and I believed myself to being a barber because I felt like that was the life I chose and I had to let everything else go. Young Rich, there was so much for you to learn. There’s a lifetime’s worth of lessons waiting for you. Coming back into my art forms and finding myself and my identity through it all has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my adult life. But this world of mine, where does it exist? It has always lived in the corner of my old mobile home. It has always lived in my small room where from my corner I’ve always drawn out and painted since I was a kid. It has always lived in this corner of my world, where the music has always played. I’ve went my entire life in this corner and brought it with me to the rest of the world I’ve seen. From constant practice here at my desk for years I’ve always had my art and it was always my outlet. All of a sudden in another world, I have to ask this question right now... IF AN ARTIST PAINTS A MASTERPIECE AND DIDN’T BOTHER TO POST IT, DID IT EXIST? Call me selfish all you want but I would rather horde my art away and keep it to myself than let the other world decide shit for me. I’ve always felt like this world we live in acts like everything has to be commodified and side hustles should be made. This is coming from a hustler, but some things are just more sacred than that and goes deeper than the money. I want to share my art but for my own sake. I want to share my life but my way. I didn’t work on these skills to change the world. I didn’t work on these skills to change yooouurr world. I hate labels and I just want to paint all over them. I felt like sharing my art world with the internet made folks think they knew me or think they knew what I wanted to do with it. It made folks think that I could maybe make something for them, because of course I caaan... but nobody ever asked if I even want to. Talk to someone who actually wants to do that shit. I became even more selfish. I kept things to myself and kept working. It made me feel at home when it’s all mine. Once again, life can bring you from here to there and wonder how the hell we got here... I’m ready to share that world again. This time, more intimately than ever before. I want to create stuff for me, for me soo harrd that if you cared, it would be for you. I don’t want to make any compromises just because of “marketing” or “networking”. I lowkey don’t give a fuck about that. Not being a hater of the world and how this game is played today. I’m just not a promotor of any kind. I’m a creator of all kinds. Let me do my thang, I’ll let the world do its thang and things will pan out the way they do. These past 10 years have been a full cypher around with these experiences and only now do I feel like the Richmond I was always supposed to be is ready to manifest. The Jack of All Trades is ready to Master them All. Shouts out tumblr. Always been the place for me to air this piece out back when I didn’t know shit about how to use my words. I’m thankful for my old lives that got me here. It’s time to bring all these worlds together. Constantly leaving behind old lives and picking up new names. This is the Cutty Flamenko era. It’s time to go out there and build a ship worth seeing the world. SUPER!

[gettingridofhope]

I’ve been finding a lot scammers and other shit heads are even trying to use this platform to do what exactly i don’t know but FUCK, these people irritate me. One thing i hate is when people waste my time. You younger folks won’t realize this till later but when you hit your 40s you suddenly become aware that “Oh shit, half my life is gone.”

You become more and more aware of your mortality as Watch the people you grew listening to in music or watching in movies one by one pass away or as i like to oír it cross over. Then family starts to go and pretty soon my friends from high school will be next. My point is that we only get a certain amount to be here each lifetime we live and although we have to comeback sometimes you get attached to living in this body during these times experiencing all that you and means time is running out. Then these fucktard scammers come along that just want to steal from you wether it’s data or money it doesn’t matter. The worst ones are the fuckers who use dating sites to scam you. Using the power of someone’s loneliness to gain for themselves. There easy to spot if they have bad grammar and can’t spell that’s usually the first signs. When they don’t use I to describe themselves in a sentence that’s a big red flag but a lot of people have good grammar or spelling skills so I don’t know how that’s going to go for some of you.

Anything that wastes your time sucks because you can’t get it back. There is only so much seed in the silo then it’s empty and then it’s time to go home.

For you ladies especially be careful who gets your time because I’ve been hearing that good men are hard to come by now and days. When you get one treat him right, make a sandwich for him, give him a beer and let watch TV by himself for awhile. I’m sure he wants to hear about your day but give him a little peace and quite every now and then. He will come looking for you later.

That brings me to another point about marriage. 51% of marriages fail in this country. A lot of that I believe comes from the fact of kids come into the family and one parent shifts priority from the marriage to the children. Leaving the spouse to feel the loss and loneliness of their mate that now gives all their attention to the children. It you keep your attention on the relationship making that the priority everything else falls into place. As long as mom and dad stay together the kids will be fine.

Anyway, I wonder sometimes if anyone’s actually reading any of this or listening to music the I’m sharing. When it comes down to it this feels like confession. I’ll write keep writing this stuff though because real interesting shit is on the way and I want to let people know that this planet we live on is getting real fuckin weird but your not crazy and some of you have seen things or experienced things that when tell others about it they tell you your crazy or they laugh at you or say that your on drugs or your hallucinating and that sucks but I’ll tell you what? The fact that you were on drugs is beside the point and I believe you. I know your not crazy. Wait, hold on, no some of you are bat shit fucking crazy but it doesn’t mean you didn’t see what you did. Just know that there is one guy out here in the wild that knows your telling the truth. Take care of yourselves and each other. Good night.

[xavierkhalil]

"My Little Soapbox!"

 Every day I am noticing how artificial everything is beginning to feel in the world. I don’t think it’s me dissociating or being delusional, but nothing quite feels real anymore. However, what’s crazy is I see the reality but its crazy everything happening is occurring in our lifetime. Allow me to explain.

There has been nearly a year-long genocide happening in the Gaza where innocent Palestinian lives have been taken. The United States being one of the main funders in the war. A felon is being allowed to run for president, and he is supported by so many which is baffling. Even the folks who KNOW he doesn’t have their best interest are endorsing his presidency. The economy is not at its best. All news nowadays is bad news. Books and other forms of curriculum are being banned to make “the majority” of students remain comfortable rather than restricting gun laws for the safety of ALL students. And even the food is beginning to taste different. But what’s scarier is I am now finding myself feeling stuck in my advocacy. I am struggling with being real in a world where everything seems so fake.

The older I got, the more I was able to see it for what it really is, but something about 2024 has been extremely enlightening. Ignorance is better received and strongly supported than truth sometimes. There is a battle of power when it comes to preserving privilege for a few that brings harm to the majority. Consciousness and morality are often dismissed from conversations. Money is more treasured than humanity, and there seems to be an increasing lack of compassion for our fellow man. People are dying and saying they cannot “afford” to get sick because of a poor healthcare system. Hell, people are having to work nearly 80 hours a week, just to keep up with living expenses and pay debts. I’m talking about myself in the last part.

We know how we found ourselves here. I don’t have time to give a historical lesson on these things. It always goes back to slavery, colonization, and the failed promises of politicians vowing to learn from history rather than repeating it. We have and still are repeating history and sometimes I think did we ever learn or did we just find a new way to inconvenience less while still hurting others. All of this got me thinking to myself, “What do I stand for, and how authentic am I in it?” I have been on a hiatus for some time now, and I miss the days when a fire burned in me to make a change. Like I explained to someone, I did it out of anger before, but this time I m trying to lead in love.

Don’t misinterpret, all of the discriminatory and hateful acts happening to people all across the globe pisses me off, but sometimes a rally protest or speaking out on social media doesn’t feel like it’s enough. And, honestly, I am tired of having conversations with people who are willfully ignorant. When it comes to things that require the people to come together as a collective, which is millions of us, I have little faith in our ability to make the right choice for the future of our world. I can do my part in it, yes, but it doesn’t feel like it’s enough.

Overall, I am sick of politicians jeopardizing the future of our country and the world just to maintain the status-quo. Let’s be honest, the status-quo we know today has not always existed, and the reason all these reversions are taking place is because people see the status-quo slowly eradicating. This is good, great even. It was born out of a way to build a global hierarchy, and since the dawn of its philosophy, it has been successful. However, we have spent more time than it took to create it dismantling it, and it’s not quite dismantled just restructured.

In total, our country has come too far to revert back to the 1950’s. We have a requirement to vote and vote correctly. We cannot just vote for what benefits us, but what is in the best interest of our nation as a whole. Beyond that we have to advocate for the rights of all people, and acknowledge that protecting people’s rights doesn’t take away your privileges. In an artificial world, let’s be real about the crises we’re in. Let’s be real about the things we say we care about and advocate for them. I am being authentically intentional in advocacy, and I can only hope that others are showing up the same.  

[bitch-butter]

a podcast rec list

a list By a babe For babes of my fav and completely subjective podcasts (focusing primarily on smaller pods that people might not know about already but have given me many lols and expanded my wisdom).

My Year in Mensa

i always rec this pod to people who don't engage with a lot of podcasts because the episodes are pretty quick, it's a limited season, and jamie loftus is like pod royalty now but she wasn't really when she first made this so it's charming to hear how she's changed and yet stayed the same. essentially she joins Mensa as a joke and comes to discover that they're not like Charming Nerds as you would expect but that in actuality there's a very deep conservative bend to the whole organization that leads to a lot of in-fighting and bullying. it all culminates in jamie attending their annual conference, and she has some Really wild encounters there. also, IQ tests are complete and utter bullshit <3  

No Dogs in Space

what can i say except i love Marcus Parks (LPOTL would be on this list but everybody srs about podcasting kind of knows them already) and his Onions on music are Exactly right. if you are at all interested in the history of punk bands, alt bands, experimentalists, or just want to hear some folks who Know what they're talking about dissect some awesome music you can't do much better. i rec starting way back in the stooges era, but all of their series are fucking awesome.  

Saving Sex and the City 3

Lara is my fav podcaster of all time ever, she has another pod below that i recommend, but this one is so niche that it's ridiculous but it spoke so Distinctly to me at a point in time. basically if any SATC fans remember the beautiful universe we lived in pre-And Just Like That you'll know that there was a huge dust-up when the planned SATC3 movie was cancelled bc of Kim Cattrall and her Ways. Lara, like me, was deeply affected by this injustice, so she started this podcast where basically she and a different guest each episode storyline what a potential SATC3 movie would have been, and they range from an additional season of the show, to body-horror exploitation movie, to spy saga. it's funny, it's light, and it's so, so crazy i can't help but love it.

Mother, May I Sleep with Podcast?

one thing to know about me is that i'm obsessed with Lifetime movies and will watch pretty much every single one that comes my way, and Molls is so on my level. she's a pod queen, and she uses this one in particular to dive so deep into Lifetime movies that they cease to be farce and become Intensely high-stakes drama which is my brand honestly. every episode is like 3 hours long, which is my ideal length of a podcast episode because i hate having to stop what i'm doing to mess with my phone, and all her guests are hysterical. 

Babe?

the pod that made me who i am today. sometimes i'll be halfway through a  joke and i'll think 'did i hear this on babe' bc they are Such a portrait of an era. it's now defunct, but it's brief run was So iconic and hilarious and so deeply, deeply The Way We Were in 2017. it's just two friends shooting the shit every week, and they're both incredibly funny and yet go so deep with each other and are so insanely dysfunctional that ultimately the podcast disbands lol episodes 1-30 with Ryan are the best, but i enjoy Lara's solo version, too.

Dead Eyes

if you like Band of Brothers and have not listened to Dead Eyes legit what are you doing lol basically, Connor Ratliff was hired to play the role of Winters' orderly, Zelinsky, in ep 5 but he was Personally fired by Tom Hanks who said that he had "dead eyes". The whole podcast is like solving a mystery that's not really a mystery, and exploring how this one moment reverberated through this guys whole career. It's extraordinary, and you get to hear some fun tea and backstage stories ~

The Haunted Objects Podcast with Greg and Dana

spoooooky and silly. Greg and Dana Newkirk are the real deal, they have a traveling museum of haunted/cursed objects people send to them, and a few of them do have genuine and interesting stories attached to them, so each episode they dive into a different piece of the collection. Such a good listen if you're interested in hearing from people who have a lot of experience in High Strangeness and personal paranormal investigations but aren't Too deep down the "I Know What I Saw!!!" rabbit hole. 

[xnuwax]

Being alive is a punishment.

A short diary entry by an immortal.

May 27, 2xxx.

--------------------------------------------------

My hands feel sticky. I know it's just my imagination, but the memory of blood dripping from my hands is still vivid. As if it just happened yesterday, not hundreds of years ago. There was too much blood on my hands. More than I can ever wash off.

It's different now, people can no longer easily kill or injure someone. I don't even know where my sword is. I think it's in a museum somewhere? I have no reason to use it anyway. I don't have many enemies who want me dead anymore.

I've been alive for who knows how many years, I honestly stopped counting after the 100th year. Unfortunately I'm not always lucky. Sometimes I run into old enemies. They have died several times but they always seem to be born with hatred towards me. Maybe because I was the cause of their death. Not always though.

If I was lucky, I didn't run into them. I can live peacefully for a while, until they reincarnate again. I can also meet you.

Sadly, you don't always remember and when it first happened, I didn't know what to feel.

I didn't want to break your heart again, keeping my distance was the best choice. It would hurt me if I caused you the same pain I gave you in your first life. Once is enough.

But no matter how hard I avoided you, fate still brought us together.

So I stopped running away, I stopped avoiding you. Maybe this is my destiny. To protect you in every life. Your life.

"What do you do when I'm not around?"

We were at your house when you asked that question. I was reading a book and didn't bother to glance at you. My answer will always be the same.

"Waiting for you to come back."

"It will take me more than a few decades to come back. You know that." Your voice was soft, like you truly feel sorry for me.

"A decade, a century, a millennium, it doesn't matter. I'll still wait for you."

"But don't you ever get tired of living? Waiting?" you asked, with a note of anger but keeping your voice light.

Oh sweetheart, my heart aches every time you look at me with that concerned face. Really, all I want to do for the rest of my life is give you everything you want, the love and kindness you deserve.

"Who doesn't? Life is tiring. There is no such a thing as rest."

"So why don't you-"

"Die?" I asked, trying my best to keep all the tiredness and loneliness worth of hundreds years out of my voice. "If I die, do you think the king of hell will let me go? What if I'm born in a different lifetime? Then who will take care of you if I'm not around?"

I can't die even if I wanted to. But you don't have to know that.

"So, you'll always be here whenever I come back?"

"Yep, sorry you can't get rid of me."

Perhaps, every time I watch death take you away is a punishment for me from the folks up there. It drives me crazy that I've fought thousands of people but death is the only thing I can't fight. But as long as I'm not the cause your death, then that's enough for me.

To live is to suffer. But if by living I can be with you, and even if it also means a part of me dies a little every time death takes you away from me, I think being alive is a punishment I'm willing to endure.

[beetlereads]

The Feelies

by Mick Farren

Scifi

Love, Death & Robots, meets American Gladiators, meets Avatar.

In a not-so-distant future, things have gone a bit sideways. The gap between the haves and have-nots is wider than ever, and if you're not flush with cash, life is tough as nails. Enter Combined Media Corporation. These guys have cooked up a virtual product, a primo ticket to fantasyland, but it's a privilege only the rich folks can afford. They're ducking out of the real world, living their wildest dreams for hours, even entire lifetimes. The rest? They're stuck on the sidelines, hoping to scrimp and save, or maybe get lucky on a game show called "Wildest Dreams," just to get a taste of the "Feelies."

Our story centers on two characters, Ralph and Wanda Jean. Ralph's just a regular Joe, working in the CM Corp's vaults, but he's got his eyes wide open and sees the whole thing for the sham it is. Wanda Jean is a bright-eyed gal who lucks out and lands a shot at a lifetime Feelie contract on the game show "Wildest Dreams."

But, hold on, 'cause stuff starts to hit the fan. One day, a 'lifer' in the vault ends up dead as a doornail. Something's rotten in the state of CM Corp. Is there a cover-up in the works? Have they been feeding everyone a load of bull? Hang onto your seats, folks. The truth is out there, and it's got teeth.

Bookish Beetle Ratings

Cinematic Potential: 🪲🪲🪲🪲

The story itself doesn’t have a clear line through to make it a very good film. However, there’s tons of potential here for a TV show. 

Sensitive Content: 🪲

There are some some mild drug and seggs related content, but nothing crazy. 

Tough Read: 🪲🪲🪲

This book was written in a very strange way. Most chapters are contained, giving a glimpse of the whole story from different angles. The story does follow two character lines that give it a little cohesion, but the true protagonist isn’t clear until the very end. 

Cultural Sensitivity: 🪲🪲🪲🪲

There’s really nothing in this book that would shine a positive or negative light on any cultures or minority groups, though a few choice words wouldn’t be cool by today’s standards. Hence, the 4 stars.

Female Characterization: 🪲🪲🪲🪲

The women in this book, especially Wanda, are independent, strong women. No crazy fantasies here, except for the blonde bombshell trope. 

My opinion:

This was an incredibly fun read for me! At first, I was taken aback by the way the chapters were written - most of them are self-contained bits of information about the story as a whole and the people living in the story world. Once I realized this, though, I started vibing pretty hard with it. 

It was wild how relevant it felt to what we are experiencing in our world today. We don’t have tanks to live out completely immersive virtual experiences, but we’re definitely on the brink of something like this. Then there’s the wage gap between the 1% and middle class, our collapsing society, and capitalism devouring its consumers. I felt this book. 

Here’s a passage that was a complete slap in the face. Picture Frank, a new public relations hire, sitting in a corporate testing tank receiving training, aka company propaganda.

“The people don’t like the corporation, Frank. They don’t like us at all. We are the only thing that stands between them and the fulfillment of their fantasies. The corporation is the bogeyman. It set up the price system that limits the service to the wealthy. It is the corporation that excludes the poor and the underclass. They hate us, but we don’t mind. We understand, and we forgive. We know what is best, and we will do what is best even if cruelty is the ultimate route to the ultimate kindness. It is better they resent the corporation than feel that the service was something being inflicted on them. This way, they want the service, Frank. And they believe that it’s their own idea that they want it. And it doesn’t stop at wanting. They covet it; they yearn for it. They’d go into debt or steal for it if they thought that would bring it within their reach. "

"Anything that will one day be the ultimate means of confining the excess population of this planet has to be something that the excess population desires with all its collective being. That’s public relations, Frank.”

If you can find this book, I absolutely recommend it, just trust the process.