#WHICH ONE OF US IS THE TACTICIAN HERE????

[dokutah-exe]

honestly i thought surtr was like some sort of hidden arknights boss or an ex-villain or something but she's just a passive mall goth lounging around and eating all my damn ice cream

[utterlyotterlyx]

Another Love - Alternate Ending

Azriel x Fem!Reader

Based on this ask

Original here

Summary - Azriel knows you'd never leave his side, no matter what, but when his new situationship with Elain takes over his every living moment and he takes advantage of your feelings, you make the only decision you can to save yourself only for him to hurt you in a way you never thought he could.

Warnings - ANGST, fluff, swearing, neglect, abuse of feelings, mentions of death, slight grovelling, lots of sadness, feminine rage

Word Count - 6.5k jeez

The clock ticked away, idly counting the seconds by, seconds that turned to minutes, and minutes that turned to hours, hours that Azriel had seemingly forgotten about the promise he had made to take you to the theatre.

The cobalt blue bow in your hair, that you had chosen to perfectly match him, swayed sadly as you moved about your room with a heavy heart, hanging up the dress you had bought especially for the occasion and changing into something more comfortable to wallow in self-pity.

It had become normal, his lateness, his nightly visits became later and shorter until they had stopped all together, well, that is until he needed something from you, and you would give him whatever he asked for, no matter how much it hurt you.

You had been a part of the Inner Circle for over 500 years, you were one of the originals, growing up in the camps with Rhys, Cassian and Azriel, Rhys' mother protected you fiercely, and you were very close to Selene, your chosen sister. You were the one they turned to for everything, you were wise and brutal, an incredible warrior and tactician, but also soft and kind; you were the blue break in a sky of storm clouds, you were the spring breeze that cut through the edge of winter, you were everything.

A thing Azriel knew all too well.

It didn't surprise you when Azriel had become fond of Elain, like it didn't surprise you when he had pined after Mor for all those years, completely looking over you in the process. Elain was a soft and fragile thing, she was quiet and graceful, and Azriel was completely besotted by her. A fact that made your heart curse your stupidity, cursing the hope you had willed into it that maybe he would finally see you.

It was no secret that you and Azriel were the closest out of all of the members of your growing family, you had shared 500 years of respect and adoration for one another.

Azriel was by your side when Selene had so brutally lost her life, he had held your hand through the depression and brought you back to life. Azriel knew every single thing that you loved and hated, he knew what every facial expression meant, he knew every tick of your body language which silently conveyed how you were feeling. Azriel knew you better than anyone, even better than he knew himself. The map of you laid etched bare on the back of his hand, a map he used to scour daily, but now barely even glanced at.

It wasn't so one sided.

You knew Azriel better than anything, and you knew a lot. 500 years of life pointed to a rich knowledge. You were the one who cleaned him up after a mission, you're the one who mended his broken bones and washed his turmoil away. You were the one who helped him overcome his insecurities with his hands. You were the one his shadows shot to at family dinners. You were the one who sang him to sleep when his demons had become to much. There was nothing you wouldn't do for Azriel, even if it meant standing on the side-lines until he wanted you.

Moonlight streaked along the floor of your bedroom, cascading across the pale blue of your comforter and drifting along the edges of your antique furniture. The dress you had wanted to wear to the theatre hung off the frame of your mirror, rippling softly in the gentle breeze that entered through the slightly ajar window.

It was silly to feel upset, you knew Azriel didn't owe you any of his time, but you had really thought he would pull through, especially after you had told him how much you missed spending time with him.

Interrupting your damaging thoughts, your door opened to reveal Azriel, who looked annoyed and not at all in knowing of his lateness or the promise that now lay in tatters in your chest. From the look on his face, you knew instantly that Elain was the one who plagued his mind, she was the cause of it every time he had come to see you recently.

Huffing, Azriel trudged to your cream living area, propping his feet up on the antique table you had asked him to be careful with far too many times and sinking into the cushions. He hadn't spared you a glance as he entered, he didn't note his colour in the form of a bow in your perfectly styled hair, he didn't see the sadness in your eyes laced with that naïve hope that he may have turned up to apologise for being late. He didn't see you.

"What happened this time?" You inquired, wrapping yourself tighter into your robe and sliding into the seat beside him, tucking your legs underneath you and propping your head in your palm as you stared at him.

Azriel was beautiful, scars and demons and all, the height of his cheekbones, those hazel oceans of a thousand emotions, the golden skin and arched brows, the curve of his muscles under his second skin, everything about him was intoxicating.

"Lucien," Azriel through his head back and closed his eyes, breathing deeply through his nose, "I was so close to kissing her, so close, Y/N. And then Lucien walked in, he ruined it."

The revelation had stung, he'd never admitted to you to being close to kissing Elain before, it was always a myriad of stolen glances and ghosting touches, of hushed words laced with a million differing meanings. But never a kiss.

Azriel paid no mind to the hurt that radiated from you, he knew it was there, he always knew it was there but he couldn't focus on it.

Only an idiot could be blind to the clear feelings you had toward Azriel, the way you looked at him was not the way a friend looked at another friend, no matter how close they were. Azriel knew that he could never truly push you away, no matter how much you were hurting you'd never leave, he knew that, he knew you'd always be there for him to fall into.

It was so awfully wrong, but he lapped in serenity you gave him, in that unwavering loyalty, and he had no intention to stop drinking from your fountain of love.

"Lucien is her mate, Az. He's bound to not like whatever it is that's going on between you," your voice was gentle and full of understanding, your hand rested on his shoulder and he felt any anger disappear almost immediately. That's what your touch alone could do to him, bring him immeasurable peace.

"I know," he sighed, opening his eyes and turning his head to the side to look at you, a small smile tugged at his lips when he noticed how pretty you looked, with your hair parted just how he liked it, and with a bow tied neatly at the back, "I still think that the cauldron was wrong," your face faltered when he immediately continued on his weekly rant, "It gets it wrong sometimes, we know that. It's wrong, it has to be."

All you wanted was for Azriel to be happy, he deserved it more than anyone you knew. Rhys had found Feyre, who you adored tremendously. Cassian had found Nesta, who had become a very good friend of yours. So, you couldn't blame Azriel for believing that Elain was fated to be his, three brothers for three sisters. Even you had to admit that it made sense, The Mother moved in mysterious ways.

You plastered a smile on your face, you vision catching the satin of your new dress moving softly against the breeze, "Maybe it is," Azriel hummed at your words before continuing on, listing everything he adored about Elain.

"I wish sometimes that she was you, you know? That her and I could be like this, with no one watching over us, to be able to spend time alone and do whatever we wanted to do and talk about anything," it was like he didn't realise what he exactly he was wishing for.

Azriel wanted you to be Elain, so that he could have the life he dreamed of. Elain. Not you. Elain.

You weren't good enough for him.

"I hope you get to that point one day, Az," your voice was strained from holding in your strangled sobs, "I'm tired, can we talk about this more tomorrow?"

"Sure," Azriel smiled at you, rising from his seat and heading to the door, standing in the doorway and looking back at your form still glued to your spot, "I like your bow, Y/N. Blue suits you, always has," and then he closed the door behind him, you waited a few moments before letting your sobs flow through your lips and ripping that damned bow from your hair.

Azriel would never see you the way you begged to be seen, and you couldn't sit around and be the one he fell back to when life wasn't going his way.

More days had passed, more days of Azriel complaining to you, more days of Azriel wishing that Elain and you had switched paths so that he could finally get what he was owed.

Azriel didn't care for your tear stained skin, he didn't care for your weary eyes whenever you spoke of Elain to you.

It was awful that he knew exactly what he was doing, he was abusing your relationship with him, he knew you'd never walk away from him, he knew you'd never be able to put your foot down and tell him to cut it out.

The idea of a mate had him completely obsessed, obsessed to the point that he became blind to what was right in front of him, what had always been in front of him. That blind faith in your loyalty crumbled in his fingers once Rhys had told him that you had decided to purchase your own home in the city, a home away from them all.

"What?" Azriel had asked from his place at the dinner table, bewildered by the news given to them once he had asked where you were.

Nesta knew the exact reason why you had decided you separate yourself from them, you couldn't handle the rejection anymore, and you couldn't begin to heal from the decades worth of heartbreak under the same roof as Azriel and Elain. Nesta knew you held no ill feeling toward her youngest sister, you were too kind for that, you knew it wasn't her fault that Azriel came to you each time something went wrong in their situationship, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

"She left, Az," Mor had cried when Rhys had pulled her to one side that afternoon to tell her that you had decided to move into the home that Rhys had bought you after you had made it clear that you needed your own space, and Rhys had spent an hour trying to convince his cousin that your decision was not impacted by anything any of them did.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Azriel asked his brother who frowned, Feyre grabbed Rhys' hand and squeezed it in hers, "She can't just leave, Rhys."

"She has every right to after everything she's done for all of us, she deserves some peace," Rhys spoke calmly, snapping his fingers and allowing the sentient home to rid the plates and serving dishes from the table.

Azriel was speechless, he felt a frantic pull in his body, one that was poisoned with desperation at the thought of you being anywhere else than under the roof of the River House, the home you had spent a century redecorating and perfecting, paying special attention to each room to make it feel as homely as possible.

He didn't believe it as his chair groaned against the floor and he took off up the stairs toward your room, pushing his way through the doors to find it completely empty. No pictures hanging on the walls, no lines of hooks containing an array of ribbons in different hues, no dresses draped over your mirror, no antique furniture. It was all gone, and the scent of you that was usually so strong that it drowned him was a whisper in the atmosphere.

You had left.

Anger bubbled within him, how could you leave without saying anything? How could you move out of your shared home without a single word? How could you leave him after 500 years at his side?

Azriel flung open the doors to your balcony, a balcony plush with fresh flowers and greenery, he flexed his wings and hurtled himself into the starlit sky, allowing his shadows to peel from his body and search every inch of Velaris until they returned to him reeking of your scent and pulled him down to a small townhouse along the bank of the Sidra.

It was a charming home, pale brickwork, large bay windows, golden light emitting from them, and a large garden full of rich wildlife and botanicals. Your scent flowed from the closed oak door, lavender and honey with a hint of firewood and he found himself following that smell up the winding path until he was knocking on your door.

Golden light flowed from the home as you opened the door. You were dressed in denim overalls that were spatted with cream paint, you hair was loosely bound on the top of your head, and your face was full of uneasy surprise as you looked at him, "Az, what are you doing here?"

Azriel pushed past you and stood in the centre of your hallway, listening to your deep exhale as you closed the door. The space was pretty, it was very you, the walls were half painted cream from their original sage colour that you were obviously painting over, the coving was white and saturated with intricate little sketches of leaves, the carpet was a rich brown and had clearly been laid that day from how interrupted it looked, the only pattern on it being the imprints of your bare feet. Azriel didn't stop his shadows as they extended from him and scoured each part of your new home, nodding with approval and curling around your fingers in understanding adoration.

White sheets were draped over your perfectly placed furniture, to protect it from the paint no doubt, and the same tarp lay at the foot of the walls to protect the carpet. Music drifted softly about the room, and boxes upon boxes of books lay open, with some of them idly placed on shelves to get them out of the way to be sorted properly at a later date.

"It's true? You've really left," he noted the intricately presented kitchen, white cabinets and exposed wooden beams, just like you always wanted.

You rounded him, walking into your new living space, bending down to pick up one of your plant pots before placing it on the window ledge, your back faced him but he could see the pain in your features through the reflection in the window, "Yes, I live here now."

"No. No. You're coming home with me, this is ridiculous," his heart was beating a mile a minute, he couldn't think straight, all that was consuming him was the reality that his fear had come to fruition, that the one person he believed would never leave him had actually walked away.

"I'm not coming back, Azriel," you told him softly, and he saw your shoulders rise and fall with each deep inhale of breath you forced your lungs to take.

Then you turned to him, in the middle of the home that you were trying to make yours, a home away from him, "I thought you'd never leave me. You can't leave me. You're my best friend, I need you."

"No, you don't. You need someone to fall back onto when life isn't going your way, that's all I am to you now," you felt your heart breaking, you felt it shattering in your chest, "I can't be the one you turn to when something becomes between you and Elain. I can't be the one you wish was her. I can't do it anymore, Az. You've taken advantage of me for too long. You promise me the world and show up empty handed. You don't realise I even exist until you need someone to complain to and I just can't do it anymore."

Azriel knew every word you were saying was the truth, he knew he had been using you, but he never expected you to actually walk away from him, you were supposed to love him too much to leave.

Your heart was in the palm of his hands and he knew it, he knew you'd spent hundreds of years falling deeper in love with him each passing day whilst he pined for someone else. The fact of your departure made a bitter monster appear in his mind, he allowed it to tug on the venom in his heart, he allowed it to control him, "Aren't you supposed to be in love with me?"

Azriel watched your eyes widen and a breathless gasp fall from your lips, "You know?"

The Shadowsinger scoffed, "Of course I know. Only a fool wouldn't be able to see it," he saw your face contort into painful sorrow but did nothing to stop himself from saying, "I've known for years. I've known that you'd never leave, you've always been the one that I come to for anything I need and you never complain or tell me to leave. You made it easy to take advantage of you."

A tear slid down your cheek but Azriel made no move to wipe it away, "I want you to leave."

"I'm not leaving without you."

Fire roared in your eyes, "You have no right to command me after what you've knowingly done. I honestly thought that you didn't know, that it was innocent and that you just needed my advice. Now I know that you've willingly abused my kindness, Azriel, you can rot in hell," the tears didn't stop flowing from your eyes, your voice was strained and sore, your chest was so tight that you thought it may stop beating all together, "Get. Out!"

Azriel had left you then, he had left your door wide open and soared into the skies, leaving you in the home that was now tainted by his deceit.

It had been months since Azriel had seen you, Nesta and Feyre had practically forbid him from going anywhere near your home, that being from the land or sky. But that didn't stop him from allowing his shadows to slither under your front door or linger in the streets, he was desperate to know how you were.

Azriel hated himself for what he had said to you, he hated himself for taking advantage of you. In some way he tried to justify it, you were too good for him, he didn't want to ruin you, but it was clear that he already had.

Your absence had left a void that no one could fill, not even Elain despite her efforts, even the thought of her made his stomach drop and sickness swirl to the point where he couldn't bring himself to be around her. All Elain did was remind him of how he failed you.

Azriel had tried writing to you since you wouldn't see him, he gave the letters to Feyre and Nesta, the latter of which still saw your daily, and grew colder toward him with each passing moment. Even Cassian did nothing to hide his disappointment in him, and Rhys had some very telling words to express once Feyre had told him the truth of what had happened in your home that night.

Nothing was working, things with Elain were strained and difficult, the problems between them so raw and everyone's opinions so disapproving that it created a distance between them that was unmanageable.

Then it dawned on him that nothing was working with Elain because it wasn't meant to. The person who was meant to be his had been under his nose for 500 years, and now wanted nothing to do with him.

Cassian had pulled Azriel from his thoughts by stepping through the threshold of his room, "Are you coming to training?"

"Tell me how to fix it," Azriel lifted his head from his hands and turned his head toward Cassian who sighed in reply, moving to the bed to sit beside Azriel, "I need to know how to fix it."

"Only you can figure that out, Az," Cassian spoke to him, throwing his arm over Azriel's shoulder before continuing, "Y/N loves you Az, she has for 500 years. A few months apart won't change that. You're really fucking stupid for this though, she's the only one of us who knew the exact right thing to do and say every time. Y/N deserves more than the basic requirements of respect, she deserves the world in the palm of her hand and a person who loves her more than he loves himself. Don't bother her unless you can do that."

It was the anniversary of Selene's death, and the day hadn't gotten any easier for you to deal with.

Rhys and you had made a habit of doing something together each year, though, Azriel was the one to accompany you when Rhys had gone Under the Mountain. The location was sacred to you, you and Rhys would bundle yourselves up in blankets and watch the sun set over the Sidra, you'd rehash old memories and stories, ones that you both knew the script to by heart, but that never got old.

Your High Lord had tried to convince you to come home, but didn't push you when you had told him no. Your life had began to feel rather empty without the family antics that consumed your day-to-day life.

"I miss her," you had told him sadly, your head rested on his shoulder as the sun tipped her toes into the water in the distance, the sky grew darker each passing minute.

Rhys hummed, holding you closer to his side, "So do I," he replied with equal sadness, you had all grown up together, you basically were his sister by blood, and when you both had lost her, it only made him clutch to you more, "She'd nail Az's balls to the wall for sure."

A laugh passed through your lips before it died in your throat, you had done your best to not think about Azriel despite him owning your soul, you had done your best to heal from what he had done, but even then, you missed him more than anything, "How is he?"

It was the first time you had asked about him since before you had moved to your new home which was now fully decorated and yours, thanks to Rhys, Feyre and Nesta who made it their priority to help you settle, "He's-" Rhys couldn't lie to you, he was never able to even when you were younger, "-Not great. He misses you, he hates himself for what he said to you that night."

"I'd hate myself too," you had hummed, shifting to stand on the stone ledge where you and Rhys had sat, wanting a better view of the sun as it began to disappear against the horizon.

A familiar cold kiss pecked at your ankles and you looked down to see those shadows you had missed so dearly meandering around where you stood. Cedar entered your lungs and you shivered in painful delight as his warmth curled around your back.

"Y/N," his voice was deep and rough, it was pleading, you looked to your side and found that Rhys had vanished. That damn meddler. "Please look at me."

Not able to say no to that voice, you indulged the Shadowsinger and turned on the balls of your feet to peer upward at him. Azriel had his wings neatly tucked behind his back, his hands dangled at his sides, and his head was hung low. He looked terrible.

"Why are you here?"

Azriel clenched his jaw, he didn't expect you to be happy to see him, but it didn't stop the self hatred from growing in every single cell of his body, "I know how hard today is for you, I just wanted to see if you were alright."

"Well I'm fine, so you can go now," you made a move to walk away, to take the path down the edge of the Sidra to your home which had become your haven away from reality.

Though, you didn't get very far, perhaps two steps before Azriel's fingers curled around your wrist, stopping you in your tracks and pulling you back to him, "Y/N, I don't even know how to apologise in the way that you deserve. I don't know how to say sorry and make you feel like I see and hear you."

"What I did was disgusting, I hate myself for it. I never should have taken advantage of you like that, you've done everything to help me the entire time that I've known you and I ruined everything for someone I don't even want. I've always wanted a mate, you know that, and I got so carried away with wanting it that I completely ignored the only person who's ever truly loved me for me despite all of the horrid things I have done. Elain isn't you, Y/N. No one compares to you. No one makes me feel safe like you do, no one makes me feel alive like you do, and no one can make me hope for death by their void like you do."

"I am yours, Y/N. I always have been. I couldn't be the reason you ever got hurt, I couldn't be the one to risk extinguishing that glorious fire in your soul. You are the only one I cannot bear to lose, the thought of losing you terrifies me, it always has, and instead of protecting you, I took advantage of you and pushed you away because I would rather hurt someone else with everything that I am than hurt you with just a a part of it."

"I'm so stupid for ignoring you, I'm a prick for using you as my security blanket rather than let you in, you know me better than I know myself, you love me more than I could ever imagine, and it terrified me because I couldn't let myself love you. I couldn't let myself taint you."

Azriel lifted his hands, cupping your face in his palms and you could see every inch of despair within him, that conflicted flame dancing within his soul, "I'm not asking you to forgive me, I don't think I will ever be able to forgive myself after what I've done to you. I'm not asking for anything from you. I just need you to know that no matter how severe your storm, I promise I won't leave your side, I'll stay with you through the howling winds that whip my cheeks raw and red. I will stay and hold you when the night leaves you shivering and give you space when when your searing heat pushes you into a fiery rage. I will stay and love you in whatever way you crave, whether that be from next to you or from wherever you cast me to."

"Azriel-" tears flowed freely from his eyes and you knew he meant every word he was saying. Every single word was being plucked from the core of his essence.

"I know that you're scared, and that you don't trust me. I'm scared too. But you're the only one I can face love with because I only want to feel it with you. At the end of the day I want it to be you and me, I want your early mornings and late nights, I want you on your good days and bad. I will never stop wanting you. I will never stop needing you filling my lungs like oxygen and giving me life."

Azriel dropped his forehead onto yours, and you felt your own cheeks dampening from your own tears at his words, "I love you, Y/N. I will always love you, even if you don't want me to, even if you decide to walk away from me I will not stop loving you. I am so thankful for you, and I know I haven't shown that, but if you give me one more chance, I will show you exactly the man you have made me into. I will give you the world you have always dreamed of. My soul is yours until you stop loving me. Please. Please."

There was a silence as you contemplated his words, maybe he did mean them, but it still didn't detract from the clear fact that he had knowingly abused your love of him, that he had knowingly taken advantage of you.

"No," Azriel physically winced as you removed yourself from his embrace, his forehead and fingers crying at the loss of your touch, his shadows retracted like they had been burned, withering away before his eyes.

"No?"

"No, Azriel," you wiped your cheeks free of your sadness which had turned into rage, "You can't come here on my hardest of days to confess your love for me after abusing me endlessly, after overlooking me our entire lives for others. I will not be your second, third, or last choice. If I'm not your first choice then I don't want to be a part of it at all. I loved you, Az. I loved you more than my lungs needed air to survive, I would have done anything for you. I did do everything for you. And this is how I'm repaid, by being consciously used to inflate your precious ego?"

"Y/N, no, it wasn't like that," he reached for you and you took a step back, the stars illuminated the sky in their richly elegant glow, and you could feel Selene wrap her heavenly arms around you and tell you to stick it to the man.

"But it was Azriel. It was like that. First it was Mor who you pined after for decades, I could deal with it then, I knew how much you wanted to be loved and cherished, and with Mor, you never came to me and complained, it was like you didn't even want her. But then Elain, you made me so small and insignificant, you had the gall to wish she was me, you knew I loved you and you chose to say that?"

"Y/N, please-"

"Stop fucking talking," you hissed, "I do not live to serve you, the purpose of my life is not to be your maid and mother and nurse so you don't have to lift a finger. I am not your therapist or path to live out your pathetic picket fence dream. I am Y/N, I was your best friend, I would have given you everything and I did even when you gave me nothing and I am done. I am done being the thing you can throw aside and pick up when you want to feel good about yourself. I'm done."

Your body felt ten times lighter, like you had just off loaded all of the rage that had been stacked within your mind and soul directly to the person who deserved to know just how vile they had been to you.

"I never want to talk to you again. I'm not sorry, the only one to blame for everything falling apart is you and your whimsical other-worldly dreams. Grovel your heart out, Az, you're never going to know about my life from here on out. I forbid it."

And then you left, you had left Azriel stood on that rock looking the most broken you had ever seen him, even his shadows had fully retreated into his body, wounded by your words and ashamed of their master. They had just lost their favourite thing in the world.

He had continued to try and get your attention in the weeks that followed, appearing on the streets and trying to speak to you to which you wholly ignored, he had showed up at Rita's and tried corner you, begging you to just listen, but you looked right through him.

Rhys had agreed to give you a different position, one that would mean less opportunity to bump into Azriel. You had become an emissary to the Night Court, Rhys' most trusted one at that, and you travelled Prythian and kept bonds alive and strong between the courts.

The Inner Circle were mostly just polite to Azriel, they respected your decision, some even admired it, and Azriel stood and watched as Elain accepted the bond with Lucien, feeling foolish for ever believing that he was deserving of such a sacred thing.

Every time you had returned home, Azriel would have all manners of gifts delivered, from pastries to fine jewellery and dresses . It had gotten so out of hand that you had to scream into Rhys' mind to get his brother to stop. You had kept your word, you didn't speak to him even when you did see him.

And soon enough he stopped, he didn't linger in the streets or on the bank of the Sidra, his shadows no longer followed you, no more gifts arrived at your home that was bursting with new wonder. Azriel had finally realised that no amount of pleading words or pretty things would bring you back to him. You were gone.

The hope that had filled his heart, that had broken the shadow shrouding his soul, when Rhys had announced that you were joining them for dinner that evening, was enough to bring some happiness to him. Azriel had been a ghost of himself, wallowing in self pity and loathing, completing his missions to a far more gruesome degree before returning home and tending to his own wounds. No one was there to help him anymore.

You were ethereal, you had stepped through the door with a happiness he hadn't seen in your in decades, your skin was glowing and your eyes were bursting with happiness. You were dressed in a ornately stunning forest green dress, one that he had never seen before, and you sat in your usual seat, that one that had laid empty for thirteen months wedged between Feyre and Nesta's chairs, the one they glanced at longingly each day.

Yet again, you avoided Azriel, but not obviously in a sense, you just negated to recognise his presence entirely. The only thing you did recognise were his shadows that pecked your wrists, and he willed you to look at him, instead, you only smiled at the shadows and that was enough to make them feel validated and still loved by you.

Rhys had asked how you'd been and you didn't relent on sharing your tales from your travels across the continent, from the libraries in the Day Court that Helion had given you access to, to learning the healing powers from the top healers in Dawn, you were enriched with knowledge and you were loving every moment.

"I do have some news," you spoke and if Azriel hadn't been listening to your stories, which he certainly was because it made him feel like a part of your life again, he was definitely listening to you now.

Azriel noticed the blush creeping up your cheeks and the bashful look in your eye, he watched your chest rise and fall shakily as you tried to form the words to tell them what you needed to. Azriel knew that look, because that's how you used to look when you were thinking about him.

"I found my mate," you had admitted, and your eyes found him for the first time in over a year, they held sympathy within them, and he felt all of the air rush from his lungs.

Your look only lasted a couple of seconds before Rhys wrapped you up in his arms, laughing joyfully at the news as the rest of the room, even Elain and Lucien, stood to congratulate you, everyone but him.

"Do we know him?" Feyre asked, her blue-grey eyes brimming with happy tears, all they wanted was to you to find your happiness, in whatever way that would be gifted to you.

You nodded, a love-sick smile on your face, "You do, we've already accepted the bond, and I know you may not approve but I need you to, for me? He's coming tonight, I want you all to meet him."

Rhys kissed your forehead and Azriel felt the fire rage within his chest, he'd give anything to have your skin under his lips again, "Of course," the door sounded and Azriel felt as though he was in a fever dream.

You had a mate. His Y/N had found her mate.

You had inhaled deeply and squeezed Feyre's hands in your own before you left the room, the muffled muttering of your voice conversing with your mate sounding to Azriel's left. He knew they were glancing at him, but they didn't say a word, and he didn't meet their gazes, he didn't look up until your scent mixed with another's entered the room. The perfect harmony of lavender and pine, of spiced oranges and honey.

"I believe you all know Eris," he heart dropped to his stomach and Azriel felt the room spin as he looked toward you, toward Eris Vanserra, High Lord of the Autumn Court, who gently laid his hand on your hip and pressed his lips to your temple.

Eris had become an ally after overthrowing Beron, Mor had forgiven him for his past transgressions, Rhys had even considered him a friend. Eris Vanserra was your mate.

The room audibly gasped and rushed to you both, hugging and congratulating you, so unbelievably happy that you had found your person, "The moment I saw her in my court I knew it was her. It snapped for me before she realised it, but I couldn't have anyone else whilst knowing that this beautiful creature was out there fated to be mine," his eyes were full of love, unblemished untainted pure love, and yours twinkled in reply as you unveiled the large sapphire on your ring finger, "Y/N is set to become my High Lady. I promise you all that I will cherish her every moment of every day. I am so irrevocably in love with her and I just know that our souls will find one another in every universe we may wander into. She's my everything and I will always choose her. Always."

Azriel watched you, doing his best to simmer down the fire raging within his heart, he looked at your bright smile and sparkling eyes, he roamed your glowing skin and inhaled your mated scent, and then his gaze fell on the barely there swell of your stomach and he decided in that moment that you were divine and untouchable, and that he would finally let you go if it meant that you'd be happy and breathe the life that you were meant to own.

A life full of the love that no one deserved more than you.

Authors Note

I think I like this version better..

@saltedcoffeescotch @fxckmiup

[lightbluetown]

i saw some people say ed and zheng are master strategists while stede is just some guy with ridiculous luck, but i think that's unfair. sure stede's ideas are insane, but they fit the looney tunes ass universe of ofmd perfectly. they're mostly well-thought-out, well-executed and they showcase stede's strengths and growth! so allow me to talk about them:

1- ghost of the forest - 1x02

a fuckery™ before stede even knows what a fuckery™ is! this is amateurish and stupid in every way. he's not even threatening izzy with a real dagger-- that's a letter opener. does izzy actually believe that stede has a huge crew hiding behind the bushes? doubt it! but this weird little act is enough to establish stede as a (ridiculous) pirate figure to the legendary izzy hands and to accomplish his goal of taking a hostage back

2- lighthouse - 1x04

imagine coming up with the exact same idea at the exact same time as the most brilliant tactician of the seven seas! we don't know who came up with which parts of the plan (honestly it was probably mostly ed) but this is still bloody impressive

3- stark revelations - 1x05

stede's first big success! he uses his knowledge of the aristocratic world to get a shipful of rich assholes to destroy each other, but he's also showcasing what sets him apart from them: this plan only comes to fruition because stede talks to frenchie, olu and abshir as equals. as people he can learn from, as sources of inspiration

4- duel with izzy - 1x06

this one was absolutely unhinged, but its success was far from dumb luck. only stede could think of using a brazillian cherry wood mast and ed's weird stabbing lesson to win a duel, and that's what makes this plan so undeniably stede and brilliant

5- faking his death - 1x10

i love that he just had to "die" in the most dramatic way possible. a heroic fight (tiger), a realistic accident (carriage) and the most cartoony death in the book (piano)... not only is his triple-death able to convince everyone in barbados that he's dead for good, it also allows him to have closure with his family. it's filled with stede's ridiculous unique flair, but it's designed to be a fuckery™ through and through. ed would be SO proud

6- stealing jackie's indigo dye - 2x01

quick little stealth mission. did ricky manipulate stede into trying this out? sure. did ricky also ruin it? absolutely. but it was working until then! the swede isn't part of stede's crew at this point, but his respect for stede is what gets him to cooperate and risk his relationship with his beautiful wife. also, it's thanks to his love for fine things that stede immediately recognizes the value of "blue dirt"

7- prison break - 2x03

in my eyes no scene depicts stede's growth better than this one. knocking zheng's entire crew out with tea is the most stede thing out there, and this plan uses the cherry wood mast as well! this plan relies on stede's (unrealistic) tea knowledge, overly-fancy ship and ability to coordinate his crew. what makes it breathtaking is that he secretly sets this plan into motion while actively mourning the "death" of the love of his life. he's putting his life on the line to rescue ed's "killers" because he's emotionally mature enough to look at things from their perspective and forgive them

8- inciting a mutiny - 2x06

yet another brilliant plan that could only be executed by stede. this entire episode revolves around his idea of "turning poison into positivity" and here he, well, fights poison with positivity. stede captains his pirates with respect and care (best he can) which just so happens to be the opposite of ned. he exploits this and gently gets ned's crew to turn on him. he singlehandedly saves himself and his entire crew from a notorious pirate! oh he also literally invents walking the plank right after this

9- "it's only suicide if we die" - 2x08

okay, yes, this one didn't go that well (sorry iz). but it's not like ed, zheng or anyone else had any other ideas! stede's weird suicide mission, for the most part, worked. they needed to get through british soldiers to reach their ship and they did exactly that. if only they'd remembered to check if ricky had his gun... oh well, you live and you learn

sure, ed and zheng are legends and stede is a silly newbie with wild luck. but he's also quick-witted, creative, confident and brave! he's a damn good captain and he deserves to be recognized as a good strategist!

[draculancer-flow]

I'm moving lucrative. I'm moving voluptuous. I'm moving vindictive. I'm moving unrequited. I'm moving out. I'm moving forward.

DracuLancer Flow presents: I'm Moving Different

A LL6 build

This build straight gassing, cutting straight to the bricks.

The Fold Knife is a hell of a thing for a dip into a single licence level for Mourning Cloak. It doesn't display on the printed COMP/CON sheets, but the main gimmick of the otherwise low-damage weapon is that a critical hit causes you to teleport two spaces in any direction. It's some decent positioning, especially since it's an auxiliary weapon so you can have two per flex mount. However, it's inconsistent even with the accurate tag increasing your crit chance, and so usually used in tandem with some of Mourning Cloak's other systems for consistent overwatch denial and extra movement.

We don't want that. We want chaos, we want to turn the sitrep into a minefield without a single point in Iskander.

This is why we use Dusk Wing. Not only can the mech basically ignore difficult terrain owing to its hover ability, but its core power, DHIYED Articulation, lets us activate the Hall of Mirrors protocol, which makes us create a copy of ourselves every time we start a unique movement. These copies are not decoys, or duplicates, or helpers, or mirages; they're bombs. They were made at the bomb factory. They're bombs.

The key to this build is that every time you teleport, it counts as a new movement, letting you lay another one of these little bastards. Seven Fold Knives makes this very easy to do.

Let's break it down: The two core bonuses give us an additional three aux slots for fold knives that we can use, for a total of seven. This is would require an overcharge every time we wanted to use them all in one turn, so we're Not Going To Do That; instead, we're dipping three entire levels into Raleigh to use nothing but the UNCLE-Class Comp/Con, which lets us fire from an additional mount with some decreased accuracy (Note: I was unable to find out if UNCLE lets you fire both weapons on an aux/aux mount, but if it doesn't that's stupid so I will choose to disregard it).

Our systems barely matter but are worth noting. Flicker Field Projector makes us much harder to hit when we move (which we will always be doing, given that we're focusing on Hall of Mirrors), Neurospike lets us do some extra attacking just in case, and Armament Redundancy, Stable Structure, and Personalizations are here because there aren't really any other useful systems we can take and I wanted to spend the extra system points.

As for talents, Ace and Combined Arms make us a bit harder to hit, Tactician makes us marginally more accurate and can negate the effects of UNCLE, and Exemplar lets us give our allies a little bit of support, as a treat. Hunter is the real star of the show; it gives us better range with our Fold Knives and gives us an extra movement option.

In summary, in a standard turn, we will

Move (triggers Flicker Field and creates 1 copy)

Move again because of hunter (creating 1 copy)

Attack Seven Fucking Times (netting us up to 8 copies)

Still be able to overwatch and support our allies with Exemplar

All without overcharging

Giving us

Up to 24 kinetic damage just from the fold knives

Between 2 and 9 copies (up to 9d6 energy damage, save for half)

and that's still not counting reaction shenanigans or overcharging

In summary,

When you pilot this mech, you move different.

[terramythos]

Anyway here's my breakdown of the ffxiv jobs, my opinions on playing each, and the tier rank of how good their story was

TANKS

WARRIOR - warrior is so fucking funny why did they make it able to solo heal itself and the entire party in 90% of the content in the game. Raw Intuition/Bloodwhetting is so broken in dungeons its hilarious. And then they have like 3 additional healing skills on top of that. And they kept buffing it throughout Endwalker. So it is currently the easiest to play, does the most damage (i think...?), and has the best healing of any of the Tank jobs. 2nd fave probably.

Story Tier: C, it's ok, Curious Gorge is a good name. i have like nothing to say about it it's a generic AF story

PALADIN - I used to hate PLD but I think the partial rework they got halfway through Endwalker helped it a lot. It's much less clunky now. Probably still my least favorite Tank though Hallowed Ground is fun and it's pretty close to Gunbreaker for me.

Story Tier: F, this is the worst class storyline in the entire game. It's so stupid. The writing is so bad the writers acknowledge it makes no sense at all and I'm like. Yeah, thanks, I am experiencing this shit. Perhaps write a story that makes sense next time instead of pointing that out.

DARK KNIGHT - Unfortunately this is my favorite Tank 🫡 which is rough since it has the worst survivability out of any of them. But I love how you use MP and the silly number of OGCDs. The Blackest Night is such a fun ability and it's a crime that it's not a baseline skill you get from the start. Why do they have so many DRs that only cover magic damage. I must ask.

Story Tier: S, there's a reason it's the most popular and well regarded class storyline. It's really good, also the only questline I know of that uses the quest log text as part of the narrative. Outside maybe a few of the very late Endwalker quests. And, well... same writer lmao

GUNBREAKER: I think GNB looks cool as fuck and I like that it has 2 DPS rotations. The Gnashing Fang combo is so fun. Superbolide memes are always fun. My main issue with it is a skill issue because I am just constantly misaligning its burst windows.

Story Tier: C. It has some interesting lore but I found it pretty forgettable as a story.

HEALERS

WHITE MAGE: I hated White Mage for a while but something clicked and now I totally get it. I find it fun in dungeons cause you get to Holy spam and stun lock everything. As uh. The healer. That's fun. Once you get Afflatus heals (and then Afflatus Misery) it clicks. It's fun maximizing damage and playing chicken with the tank's HP.

Story Tier: B, you get a lot of lore around the Padjal, and I think the Stormblood story where you find a padjal living in hiding with her mother is pretty good! Also it's not technically the job storyline but there's a WHM side quest to get a unicorn mount? i guess it's technically a CNJ quest but same diff. no one else gets that shit. so that's cool

SCHOLAR: probably my least favorite of the healers... it just feels super clunky. You can tell a bunch of different design philosophies went into it over the years and none of them mesh very well. They've made it so the Fairy Gauge controls literally one spell. Why have the gauge at all? It's also a huge missed opportunity that there's no tie in or interaction with the fae in Shadowbringers. I love the idea of a battle tactician healer but I think it needs a rework.

Story Tier: B+, I liked the characters and its the main way to get backstory and lore on what happened with Nym.

ASTROLOGIAN: While I think AST has a similar issue to SCH (lots of different design philosophies over the years) I find it way more fun to play. I like the card mechanic and how it interacts with the rest of the party. AST is basically the only job that has its own like. Minigame? As part of its rotation. And I know a lot of people don't like the RNG for it but personally I find it fun. I know AST is getting a redesign in Dawntrail so hope it's good.

Story Tier: C? I think? I'll be honest I don't remember it super well but I didn't find anything objectionable about it. And I like the tarot aesthetic and lore and how it's healing based on manipulating luck.

SAGE: I think SGE is tons of fun, I'm not sure if I like it or WHM more. I love all the skills SGE has for preventing damage and the gimmick where your DPS heals someone in the party. Visually the hi-tech laser shooting healer is a lot of fun. IT HAS A GAP CLOSER. The only thing i wish was it wasn't so MP negative and that it did more damage. It's a little sad its DPS output is so low compared to the other healers (even AST when you factor in how it buffs the party). Since SGE is supposed to be a healer that heals through damage it's silly its damage kinda sucks.

Story Tier: A, I loved this storyline. Both the Endwalker job stories are very self contained and interesting. While the twist is pretty obvious it's still an interesting exploration of uh. Scientific ethics. Yeah

PHYSICAL MELEE DPS

MONK: I've probably played MNK the least of the phys melee but I like the whole adaptable combo thing. Not much else to say since I have played it so little. Might bring it back out and try again. It DID have the funniest guide in the Balance discord for a while.

Story Tier: D. I think? I remember thinking it was dumb, lmao. Sorry.

DRAGOON: MAN I wished I liked DRG more. It looks so fucking cool and I like how it interacts with the dragon lore. But I find it very punishing to play. To do good damage you have to align so many different cooldowns... and snapshot your DOT correctly... and screwing one thing up just fucks your DPS output forever. Like AST I believe this is being reworked in Dawntrail so I hope it feels better to play.

Story Tier: C+. I think it starts strong since you get to meet Estinien pre-Heavensward and it melds nicely with that story. But I found it pretty directionless post-HW which is a shame.

NINJA: I remember finding this one fun. I like that there are different combos you do that have varied finishers depending on the situation. I am just... bad at remembering which combo to use to get which finisher, lol. So I haven't played it as much. NIN gets a lot of flavor other jobs don't get with their unique run and jump animations. And you get a Bunny of Shame on your head if you fuck up a combo, which is incredible.

Story Tier: A. The Rogue story is probably the most memorable of the basic class quests. Ninja just has great characters and a fun story. What is with that one guy. Karasu? If you know you know. I also like how the Rogue characters show up later in the Ninja story. That's fun.

SAMURAI: I had a similar experience to WHM here because I initially hated it then really came around once it clicked. SAM seems very complex, it has a ton of buttons and different combos. But it is actually quite intuitive once you figure out the general pattern. And it does INSANE damage. I think it's the highest DPS output in the game? I love building the combos and then doing a huge finisher for a bajillion damage. The guaranteed crits and constant OGCD weaves make me feel unstoppable. I think this is tied with RPR for me.

Story Tier: B+. I found the exiled samurai character and his journey toward redemption very compelling. I won't spoil beyond that. However it does fall apart a little in the second half. Still fun but not as good.

REAPER: I love RPR, the teleportation is a lot of fun, and I love finally unleashing the demon form and going ham on the enemy. The weapons are the coolest looking in the game. Every scythe design hits. I probably played this the most in Endwalker. My main critique is the Death's Design mechanic. I hate having to keep a stupid debuff on the target to do damage. It's like a dot but without the optimized snapshotting. If they want to keep this idea i think it would feel better to change it into something like SGE's Kardia where you apply it to one enemy to do increased damage to it without having to worry about reapplying it. not sure how they would balance this for aoe but that's not my job. But even with that caveat I still really enjoy the job.

Story Tier: A+. While it doesn't reach the highs of DRK's story it comes close. I love the badass old lady main character. Her hunting a voidsent that possessed her grandfather would be cool enough but making her a Garlean exile in hiding who grudgingly agrees to train you just adds an extra cool factor. I really enjoyed this story. As a bonus theres a lot of incidental dialogue in the post-6.0 Endwalker story if you completed the RPR story because it ties in a lot.

PHYSICAL RANGED DPS

BARD: It's a bit clunky, its got some outdated design elements, it has one of the lowest damage outputs in the game... and i LOVE IT. this was technically the first job I ever played? totally different character like 8 years ago. and i was so so bad. I think i am actually pretty good at current BRD. the animations look cool. i like that it's a class you really need to work for and optimize to eke out that last bit of damage. and boosting everyone else's damage by existing is kinda neat.

Story Tier: B. I'll be real I barely remember this but I do remember it was gay as fuck so immediately gets an extra tier for that.

MACHINIST: MCH is really funny right now because like. It's phys ranged, right. The design behind phys ranged is you have 100% uptime cause you can freely move around and not have to worry about cast timers or melee range or anything. So the trade off is that they do less damage than other classes. Endwalker MCH did not get the memo and does insane damage anyway. My controversial opinion is that it has similar burst DPS to RPR. No i will not elaborate. I'm also bad at doing good damage on MCH which is impressive since it is easy.

Story Tier: B+. Some Ishgard noble's gay son wants to build machines instead of killing dragons the good old fashioned way and has to prove himself to get taken seriously. A tale as old as time. See I haven't done this quest in like years but I still remember it. He is a memorable character. It's just not like. knockout wowza compared to the A tier stories.

DANCER: Dancer is the second easiest DPS job in the game behind SMN. So if i am sleepy it's the one I like playing. You play simon says. you do a lot of damage when you play simon says then do almost no fucking damage otherwise. I think it's the lowest direct damage in the game? for a dps i mean. You have high stakes sexual tension with a DPS of your choice via Dance Partner. I wish other DNC players knew how Dance Partner works. YOU CAN DANCE PARTNER ANOTHER DANCER. THE BUFF STACKS. BUT YOU CANNOT DANCE PARTNER THE SAME PLAYER AS ANOTHER DANCER. THOSE BUFFS DO NOT STACK. ok i'm good. anyway

Story Tier: C. there's some shit about negative emotions and purging them? in theory i think this has some interesting implications with Endwalker lore considering Dynamis and its role in the story. Very similar mechanically to what's going on with the DNC story. but i really don't think the writers made the connection so it's like pure speculation and not the actual story. It's meh. fine i guess. i did like all the flashy dancing sequences.

MAGICAL RANGED DPS

BLACK MAGE: I am so so so so so so so bad at BLM. i pull up the guide. i read the guide. it all makes perfect sense. i go into a dungeon or trial or something. somehow i always get like Zeromus or some shit. and i drop Enochian or something and everything goes to shit and i'm yelling and i'm not even like slide casting or teleporting or anything i just run around crying. then i remember i have like 10 more buttons i haven't been pressing and oh god the dot fell off. people play this? for fun? i admire it. apparently they do a ton of damage if you can play it. could not be me.

Story Tier: B? There's some voidsent and Thirteenth lore. all the black mage characters are Lalafell because it's funny i guess. OH YEAH it has like the one named male Keeper of the Moon Miqo'te NPC in the entire game and he's fun. look at this twink:

sorry i don't have anything to say about BLM i am bad at it

SUMMONER: easiest DPS job in the entire game. they redesigned it for Endwalker so it is practically a new job. i have no idea how it played before. but it is super streamlined. maybe too streamlined? it's another one to play if you want to turn your brain off. i like that at 90 you summon The Actual Primals instead of little representations of them. and i like the way your burst phase switches between Bahamut and Phoenix. it all looks very cool. they should add Leviathan as a summon in Dawntrail.

Story Tier: C.. i don't remember a single thing about this questline except you interact with Y'shtola's half sister. i think you go to Cartenau at some point. idk

RED MAGE: RDM is one of those jobs that looks really complicated when you start then you actually play it and it is just super super easy. that being said i think it's really fun. I like balancing the white and black magic gauges. Dualcast is a great gimmick and it feels cool to lob two big spells in a row at something. Dualcast Verraising a chain of dead players is so fucking funny. it's a shame that the existence of Verraise means RDM does shit damage to compensate for its utility. It and DNC just sit at the bottom with BRD barely scratching ahead of them. i think? i don't remember LOL

Story Tier: A, I really like the story and characters. I like that you have a middle-age world weary catboy (catman) as your mentor. and i like that he canonically trained Alisaie too and you chat a little about that. it's a fun story!

BLUE MAGE: what the fuck is a blue mage

Story Tier: ???

[uneducated-author]

I was thinking about Double Black (when do I stop) and realise that something has been bothering me about Chapter 109 (Ya Think?!)

There's one line that doesn't fit, and it isn't the one about 'fate' because Dazai is constantly shown as believing in fate, nor is it the one about Soukoku's destiny, because Dazai believes in that more than anyone.

It's the one about Chuuya's 'lame ass' punches.

Okay I hear the judgy silence.

Because the thing is, Chuuya is the strongest fighter in the series. Soukoku as designed as a duo comprising of the strongest fighter alongside the smartest tactician. And Dazai might be petty about Chuuya, calling him predictable, short, a puppy, easily led, he doesn't really call him weak. The closest I can think of is in the 15 story, where Dazai points out that Chuuya's raw power has been limited, because the boy hasn't learned to fight strategically in any sort of cunning manner. But even then, that's wholly different to calling Chuuya weak.

And this is a running theme. For instance, think of the Double Black reunion. Dazai meets Chuuya, insults his tacky hats and then Chuuya demands to fight Dazai, crush him along with his schemes.

The reason the reunion scene works so well is because of how balanced it is. There are two fights. One is physical, and the other a battle of information and who has access to it.

First, Chuuya initiates a physical attack, of which Dazai mainly dodges, with one strike towards Chuuya's abdomen which Chuuya basically discounts as weak. Then Chuuya brutally beats Dazai up. Whether Dazai is truly using his full fighting capabilities is debatable, but the real importance is in the dialogue. Dazai's initial statement is actually crediting Chuuya, unabashedly labelling him the greatest martial artist in the Port Mafia. There's no room for doubt here, Dazai is speaking an honest truth. Chuuya internally notes that Dazai is reading his attacks well but Dazai's next observance is all about how predictable Chuuya is, to Dazai specifically. He says that he can read all of Chuuya's movements, as he should be able to, as Chuuya's partner. Chuuya counters by saying that 'you can't beat me just by predicting my moves'.

The fight then pauses the physical element, instead diverting to information. Dazai's a living dead mans trigger, where his death will bring down the port mafia, but the way he has set it up is by giving the current executives information on the leverage he holds against the organisation. It's a plan which is purely suited to Dazai's capabilities and goals, Chuuya even notes that he has a no-win scenario here, and both decisions are hard to make.

Dazai is the victor ultimately, but it's surprisingly balanced. Chuuya won the physical fight, but Dazai gets the information he wanted. On the other hand, Chuuya and Dazai both prove how well they know each other, with Dazai's bragging about knowing Chuuya to the highest degree, and Chuuya knowing immediately that Dazai has some ulterior motive, stating almost immediately that 'you can fool Akutagawa and the rest of the Port Mafia, but not Me'.

Later in the fight to save Q they almost parallel this moment. Chuuya takes a swipe at Dazai with his foot after Dazai makes a quip about his shoes, and Dazai smugly notes that he should give up trying to attack because Dazai knows him so well and can read his attack. Chuuya doesn't refute the statement fully, merely countering that if Chuuya had been attacking at full strength he could destroy Dazai.

Soukoku is special because of the disparate capabilities. But there's something else too.

Dazai doesn't lie. Well, this is a fake statement. More accurately, Dazai doesn't bluff. Dazai bluffs and manipulates and only reveals selected informations to force an incorrect statement, but he has clear strategies to manipulate someone.

Even when Dazai manipulates the Sheep into betraying Chuuya, to expose how fickle the group is, he does it without any hidden tricks. The glory of the scheme is that Chuuya is Right There, and he can piece together how exactly Dazai fooled him in hindsight. Dazai's greatest manipulations are ones where previous conversations click into sharp contrast, and your realise just how badly you were played. He might fake being captured, or hide his motivations, but he very rarely tells truths that can be very easily disputed. Fyodor, Dazai's foil, pulls off a similar sort of strategy when stuck with Ace actually.

Dazai says it best. 'I don't lie in these types of negotiations'. He knows that the best negotiation position is the one where you are in complete control of the circumstances and information available.

So... Why provoke Chuuya with something like this? Both previous times his statements are about Chuuya's 'tacky hats' or a snide comment about 'liking your taste in shoes-just kidding!' and those provoke a physical fight just fine?

Well, look at Chuuya's responses, every time. Dazai points out how he, and he alone is immune to Chuuya, for all his power, and Chuuya always responds with some variation of 'if I was serious I could crush you' and 'reading my movements won't help you win an actual fight'.

Chuuya is a weapon. Was burned, cut and moulded into one, and the worst thing is that it is so bluntly clear. He is known for his power, and nobody can deny the clear and obvious superiority he has over pretty much every other fighter. And Dazai can't refute this. But he can refute that Chuuya is harmful. That Chuuya can hurt Him. He can say, bluntly and clearly, that I am never at risk from you. And Chuuya can try and discount it, thinking of an out of control force of nature help back by two lines of poetry, but Dazai stays firm. That you are powerful, and that means nothing to me. That I know you well enough, and that makes me invulnerable against you.

Dazai for the first time bluffs. Knowing that Chuuya is trapped inside a body that he can't control, a situation beyond his worse nightmare. And Dazai has to trust. But if all goes wrong, he needs to make sure Chuuya can survive this, killing his partner in the way they never feared. He's never wanted to survive this prison arch, has been devoted to merely killing Dostoyevsky.

(It puts Chapter 101 into perspective. Dazai must have known that Dostoyevsky's escape was possible, has known what it is to fight alongside a gravity manipulator. So he says goodbye to Chuuya, because Dazai might be dead soon, and that doesn't matter, but Chuuya once made him interested to live, and that means he should know.)

So he talks to Chuuya, and tells him that it isn't him. This isn't the strongest martial artist in the port mafia. This isn't his partner, this isn't the short dog with bad fashion sense. This is someone who's on the opposite side, a terrible fighter, who can't even aim properly.

This is the only comfort he can offer. This is the only way he can't give up. He tells Chuuya 'you are strong' and he tells Chuuya 'I know you' and he tells the corpse with the mask of his partners face stretched over a strangers skull that 'you are weak'.

When Odasaku had died, in his final moments he had seen who Dazai could be. As Dazai dies in his final moments, he looks up and tells his partner that this isn't him.

[comradekatara]

hello, I’ve been thinking about Sokka in the finale and was wondering about your take I suppose? Or perhaps I just need to express this.

Sokka being a tactician rather than a warrior is a wonderful way to end his arc. Trusting two women who are, objectively, stronger in combat, while also being a guide & leader wow great love it.

And it’s great how he protects Toph. But I also think about how at the beginning Sokka is primed to die for Katara, and at the end he’s in the same self-sacrificial position. I don’t think this is bad writing but it kinda sucks for him lmao. His most triumphant moment is still one where it’s his job to die first.

It’s also interesting how this mirrors Zuko, who also self-sacrifices as a part of the completion of his arc. The way they’re both so willing to die is part of what makes Zukka compelling to me. But also! I wonder if Sokka would be jealous of Zuko being able to almost die for Katara.

I don’t think Sokka would think of it that way, but I can imagine his self-hate for almost letting Toph die, and then look! He wasn’t even there to die for Katara! Someone else had to do it! And maybe Zuko is a fine option if it’s not Sokka, but I don’t think its would be easy for Sokka to accept.

I don’t think he would know why he was angry, either. He’d just be mixed up with frustration and helplessness and probably concern for Zuko, too, and irritation at how stupid it was for Zuko to challenge Azula to an Agni Kai. God I hope they don’t break up over it.

okay, wow. a lot of interesting points here. i'm gonna try to respond to them in order (and number each paragraph so you can follow each point better).

1 while i would of course say that suki and toph both have unique strengths as fighters, i wouldn't discount sokka's skill either. yes, he is first and foremost a tactician who uses strategic maneuvering to win battles, and learning to prioritize his brains over his brawn is a huge facet of his arc, but crucially, he learns this first from suki, whose technique is all about strategic maneuvering against stronger opponents, and toph's fighting style is also about finding creative uses for her earthbending, instead of relying on feats of strength like the other earthbenders we see throughout the series. i would say that in this sense, toph, sokka, and suki are all quite evenly matched. they each have skills the other does not (arguably toph's skills are the most impressive, but sokka's accuracy with a boomerang and suki's little flippity flips – i.e., her abs of steel – in "the boiling rock" deserve acknowledgment).

of course, it's valuable that sokka trusts toph and suki entirely, and not solely because it reflects his implicit respect for girls as warriors (because like, we covered that at the very beginning of the series), but because it means he can overcome his control freak tendencies to delegate and trust others to be competent and succeed, which also means trusting that if they fail or choose to sacrifice themselves, it's not directly his fault (something he learns in "the boiling rock"). and of course toph and suki are probably the two people (who aren't directly related to him) he trusts, loves, and admires the most, which is what makes their team-up as a trio in the finale so lovely.

2 i actually think there's something really beautiful and poignant about the circularity of sokka's arc. as you say, it's a near-identical situation. sokka is faced down by fire nation soldiers, the only person in a position to fight back, while responsible for the safety and life of his little sister, and even though he puts up a valiant effort, he still must be saved by a third party who swoops in at the very last moment to save him before he bites it. in "the avatar returns," sokka's choice to die a martyr (in his mind) will finally fulfill his existential goal of protecting katara (which, again, in his mind, means doing for her what kya did), whereas now his existential goal is ending the war. either way, he is dying for his cause. the thing is, when aang returns to fight zuko, suddenly a new cause motivates sokka: to help the avatar. but now that the war is over, sokka's goals become less concrete. he must suddenly live past the end of his myth, which as we all know, is a perilous thing.

and as i've talked about before, i think this would motivate him to try and do everything he possibly can, because he no longer has one singular defined path, so to prove that he is worthy of existence he must now exercise control over everyone. as much as he trusts toph and suki and katara and aang and zuko (to an extent), i think his control freak tendencies would nonetheless be exacerbated by the end of the war, because instead of just imposing control on their little group to make sure they stay on schedule etc. etc., he now has the opportunity to impose control over the entire world. postwar sokka is kind of a nightmare i'm afraid.

3 i think it's important to remember that sokka doesn't really get angry, he gets guilty. unlike katara, zuko, or even aang, sokka only really gets angry if he thinks someone is incompetent and/or evil. but mostly, when he internalizes his emotions, he doesn't lash out with rage, he points that anger inwards, feels as if he is the one at fault, even if the situation was not remotely in his control. i don't think sokka would be remotely mad at zuko for what he did. he might think zuko was stupid for what he did ("couldn't katara have just run out of the way?"), but he'd also be infinitely grateful. i think sokka would be furious at zuko had the reverse happened and katara been injured in any way – oh, then he would tear zuko to pieces. but zuko risking his life for katara (although i think in zuko's mind he expected he'd be fine and that he could just redirect the lightning in midair, but he'd never admit that to anyone ever, so.) would only make sokka feel guilty that someone else had to perform his duty.

i think a big problem for sokka after the war would be that now that he has all these different paths to follow, he cannot be in every location at once (being a man means knowing where you're needed the most, but what if you're needed everywhere??? what then???), and he cannot know every single piece of information implicitly. the fact that he had to be at the airship fleet meant that he had to trust that zuko and katara would be successful in their mission. and he clearly does trust them, but i imagine there's also a part of him wracked with fear over their fates the entire time that they're split up, especially because if katara isn't okay, that means that he failed and he wasn't even there. so yeah, i think he'd feel a mix of gratitude and guilt that zuko performed his big brother duties in sokka's place. but i don't think he'd be angry at zuko.

4 sokka's self-hate for almost letting toph die is so real though. yeah "the boiling rock" teaches him to let himself rely on others and not take every single failure so personally, and suki is especially significant in that regard for how she represents someone who is sokka's peer who can rescue him but also be rescued by him. and all that, thematically speaking, is very important and lovely. but he still hates himself for not doing more. which is of course crazy, because he literally used a boomerang and threw his sword with only one working arm and a broken leg while basically hanging off a falling ledge in the sky to kill two men, but sokka is crazy, so there's no way he's satisfied upon being told that he did all he can do. his limits are his failures. and if he can't even protect his best friend, then what is he good for?

i actually think that if toph hadn't been there to ground him, he would have been less concerned with staying alive, that he only held on for so long because he wanted to keep toph alive. when sokka tells toph that "it looks like this is the end," toph, understandably, starts to cry, but sokka only really seems sad at the idea that toph is about to die. he's not crying, why would he be? this is probably how he's always imagined his own death in his wildest fantasies (yes, if katara fantasizes about revenge, sokka fantasizes about dying, you know it's true). if sokka is crucial to helping toph recognize and accept her own vulnerability, toph helps sokka stay grounded to his humanity (and obviously aang and others perform these function for both parties as well, but sokka and toph's friendship is a really beautiful, special thing). and that means that sokka is excited to be saved by suki specifically because it means that she also saved toph. but there must also be a part of sokka after the war that's thinking "in the end, zuko saved katara, suki saved toph, some giant spirit creature saved aang........ what am i even good for?" because if there's one thing sokka's brain loves to do, it's reinforce his own worthlessness.

5 "god i hope they don't break up over it" was pretty funny to me, because i honestly think that if they ever get together (and jury's still out for me on that tbh) it would take a good decade. but also i recognize that the way i "ship zukka" is different from how everyone else feels about/imagines them, so that's not really relevant here.

[emry-stars-art]

tell us about the royals au!!! (im on my knees. please.)

Ohhhhh my friend you have started me on a RANT I hope you’re ready!!!

I don’t know that I’ll ever actually write it so I’m not too worried about spoilers, and the wonderful people in my dms (which are still open btw) bouncing ideas with me are always going to come up with great ideas so I’m putting WIP in big red letters, things are subject to change! But for now, some ideas. Most of what I have will be under the cut, but if you want to know more about a specific part/have any questions please I’d love to chat :D will link to the art/posts I have so far!

(In this au I’ve been referring to Neil as Nathaniel at first and then Abram (hello names as a plot device), and everyone else right now is some version of their name)

Kevin and Nathaniel were raised at Evermore castle, Kevin to be in direct competition to Riko/see which of them might claim the throne (not thought out yet), and Nathaniel as the Moriyama’s attack dog, born and raised to take his father’s place as such. The two never met in person, but Nathaniel knows and recognizes Day because of course he does, and Day knows the name Wesninski means a very, very dangerous person. Essentially the top assassin on the continent.

But as we do, Day decides he can’t/won’t handle the treatment anymore, whatever the last straw may be, and runs off to Palmetto in a kind of desperate chase of the stories his mother used to tell him when he was little. He knew she loved that kingdom. Somehow he finds Wymack - the twin’s royal advisor - or Wymack finds him, and once Wymack realizes who this kid is and has reason to believe he’s not here on Evermore business, he puts Day’s incredible talent and training as a tactician/commander to work as his pupil.

Meanwhile Nathaniel is still at Evermore, mistreated and learning from his own failures and mistakes until he’s nearly as good as his father at the family business.

I don’t know how long Nathaniel plans it, but he either plays the part for long enough or his skill is so undeniable that when the Moriyamas have plans for the Palmetto Kingdom, they send him and one other accomplished fighter to kill the king. Nathaniel goes quietly and decides he’s not coming back if he can help it.

So instead of killing the young king, Nathaniel’s panic has him turn on his partner at the very last second, stopping them just before they can get to the king. He takes them somewhere far away and does what he does best, leaving no one to report back to the Moriyamas. From then on it’s a waiting game to see how long the family will wait before they send someone after him.

Day’s followed them, and Nathaniel turns around from the body and sees this man he hasn’t seen in years, alive and safe away from Evermore. It’s as elating as it is crushing - because Day heard his partner call him by name, and there is no way Day will ever let a Wesninski walk away alive. Not if he knows what’s good for all of them.

Except Day doesn’t kill him, even when Nathaniel asks him to. (Better Day than Riko, Nathaniel knew that even when they were all stuck at Evermore). Instead, he takes Nathaniel back to the twins/Wymack, gives him a little bread, and they sit until he can pry out an explanation. (See the comic of this first meeting here.)

Day and Nathaniel spend most of their time together because Day refuses to let Nathaniel out of his or Wymack’s sight until he proves not a threat to the royal family, which proves an issue because between Andrew’s rotation of personal guards (he never gets along with them well enough that they stay/aren’t fired) Day is Andrew’s guard, which sometimes means Nathaniel is stuck a lot closer than Day would like. But after a long, long time, Day and Wymack decide Nathaniel was serious about the whole “runaway” thing and isn’t playing spy (maybe there’s some dramatic event/Nathaniel protecting a twin that convinces them or maybe it’s just a lot of little things over time). Andrew, after a rough spat with the latest guard, is again in need of a new one. Finally Day just asks “is there ANYONE you could possibly pretend to get along with that can do the job” and Andrew knows Nathaniel is dangerous he just doesn’t know exactly how or why (but oh he is curious) so maybe he just straight up says. “Wesninski.” And Day has to go “…. Fine.”

So boom. They knew each other superficially before, but now Andrew and Nathaniel are spending most of their time together and miraculously - no arguments. No spats. Day thanks the gods there’s no physical altercations (that’s probably what got the last guard fired so quick). Nathaniel is just a mystery with shady ability to tell the truth and Andrew can’t help his curiosity. Good old fashioned andreil :D

From here the timeline becomes essentially nonexistent, I have no idea when these things happen in relation to each other but so far they’re all things I like and want to include!

1) there’s plenty of games and competitions at Palmetto, we love a good tussle, and Nathaniel usually does quite well - he’s not good at playing fair, but his underhanded methods are not technically illegal and usually he can use his preferred weapon - dagger rather than sword. He does well except for the one time an opponent accidentally says/does something that was constantly said or done to Nathaniel while “training” at Evermore, and he comes back to Andrew and the tent he watched from in the beginning of a panic attack. Andrew doesn’t know anything about Nathaniel’s past at this point, but he knows a panic attack when he sees one. In trying to talk him through it, Andrew realizes that yes Nathaniel is scared of being hurt, but he’s more afraid of hurting others. Nathaniel won’t let Andrew call him by name, he flinches every time Andrew says it. After, Andrew asks what he should call him instead, and Nathaniel finally asks to be called Abram.

2) Balls! Masquerades! Abram doesn’t have many outfits, he wears the regular issued uniform to every event. Andrew will not stand for this. Abram always wears clothes that cover him fully, which is fine, Andrew can work with that. He’s still seen Abram in a tight shirt or two. So he commissions one of the most knowledgeable people in the court (we’re thinking it might be Allison, she’s a noble but she’s great with textiles/embroidery/etc) and gets Abram a new outfit. It still covers him, its still protective material, but it looks better. (Find Abram in a corset here). Andrew handles it totally normal and rational in his head when he sees Abram actually wearing it of course.

3) Day probably assumes for a little while that Andrew and Abram have got a more or less normal guard/charge relationship, even thinking it’s slightly antagonistic considering this is Andrew we’re talking about. (This doesn’t fit the timeline, but here’s a mini comic of one of Day’s misunderstandings hehe)

4) king Aaron! He became king at 18/20/whatever age we decide this universe deems old enough because he is in fact the elder twin here. I imagine their parents have both been dead and gone for at least a few years at this point. Dan is Aaron’s guard and she and Abram hit it off great as coworkers and friends. More on the uncertainty of the twins backstory later. (Drawings of Aaron and his queen Katelyn here!)

5) the angst. The Moriyamas should have heard from the Wesninski boy months ago - something somewhere went wrong. So, naturally, they go to collect their property. If they get away with it, we can imagine how it goes. What I don’t know is if the twins, Day, and Wymack know for sure he was kidnapped or if they have a little nagging in the back of their head that wonders if he’s only run away from the castle or if he’s run back to Evermore with everything he’s learned.

When he’s recovered, Day doesn’t let Andrew too close too often for a while. If Abram forgets where is for even a second too long - waking up from a nightmare, having a flashback - it’s long enough for it to be fatal to whoever might get too close to Abram. It’s already almost proved fatal for Andrew, after Abram played normal so well that Andrew let it slip - he forgot Abram was taken back to Evermore for them to finish making him into a thoughtless weapon, and they’d nearly succeed. He wakes Abram too quickly and ends up extremely lucky Abram recognizes both his voice and the way Andrew didn’t call him ‘Nathaniel’ or ‘Wesninski’. There’s really a huge amount to possibly be covered about this point so I won’t go into detail here - but if you like hurt/comfort you know where to find me 👀

6) the biggest thing we haven’t figured out is Andrew. Either he was kidnapped at a young age and only recovered in his teens, or the elder King Minyard didn’t much care for his second son. Though I’ve always liked the idea of Mr. Minyard being a good man who died shortly before the twins’ birth and their mother just couldn’t handle the grief or knowing that the twins look like him. Anyway a lot of the twins’ issues after both of their parents are dead are the advisors or other people around them that try to take advantage of their youth and inexperience for their own gain, without realizing that both Aaron and Andrew have had to grow up much too fast, each for their own reasons. They can usually see right past the tricks. It’s why they both trust Wymack so much - he’s one of the few adults that are truly there to help them, and not make decisions for them.

Im sure there’s more I missed, but this is long enough as it is lol. People have asked about the Trojans/Jean in this au, and I’d love to include them! My brain’s instinctive response is that Jeremy is some sort of high end noble/royal of a faraway kingdom, and Jean (always last to leave the nest, im so sorry baby) somehow gets over there, but I don’t have an idea of his or anyone else’s roles yet. Renee could even still have a hand in him getting there if we really want.

So I’m still writing snippets and drawing over here lol but i promise I don’t bite if you want to talk :D

[sotwk]

The Fighting Abilities of Thranduil, his Sons, and Warriors of the Woodland Realm

The following are all headcanons as written into the "Sons of the Woodland King" (SotWK) universe.

History of Warfare in the Woodland Realm

The First Age Silvan elves of Greenwood the Great developed systems of combat equivalent to "real world" martial arts, similar specifically to wushu (Chinese martial art).

Close-quarter combat is more efficient in tight spaces, and therefore well-suited for densely wooded areas in the Greenwood forest.

It is useful for one-on-one fighting and stealth attacks, which was usually all the Silvans needed to defend themselves, since they did not participate in warfare prior to the Second Age.

Before the arrival of their Sindarin overlords, the forest-dwelling Silvans used only weapons that might be considered "primitive" by the High Elves: bow and arrow, daggers, spears, and staffs, but they used these to great effect and in tandem with their unarmed fighting skills.

When Oropher, his son Thranduil, and their kin arrived, they helped the Silvans ward off attacks from rogue orcs and monsters that survived the War of Wrath and threatened to infest their lands (separate HC post about that here). In gratitude and admiration, they accepted Oropher as their king.

The Sinda introduced other types of weaponry and styles/methods of warfare, including longsword, phalanx, and cavalry. They also promoted blacksmithing as a trade and art (albeit not as sophisticated as their Noldor counterparts), so real armor and stronger weapons were created.

Over many centuries, the fighting techniques of the Silvans and Sindar merged to develop the combat style that was practiced in the realm from the Third Age onward.

Images above: Spear fighting is highly-utilized by Greenwood warriors, and every soldier excels in both one-on-one combat and fighting as a unit. Inspiration can be taken from the deadly style of Achilles from the film Troy (2004).

Thranduil the Warrior King

Thranduil is acknowledged and remains unsurpassed as the greatest warrior in the Woodland Realm's history.

In his role as Prince of Greenwood, he was instrumental in forming and enhancing the military forces of the Woodland Realm throughout the Second Age. A veteran of the War of Wrath, he understood that a strong army was vital for the protection of any kingdom.

Among his countless talents, combat is Thranduil's strongest and most favored, the one he takes great pride in honing and exercising. (In contrast with his father Oropher, who was an expert politician first and foremost.)

Young Thranduil was also passionate about sharing his knowledge, and devoted his time in both training his Silvan brethren and, more importantly, learning from them and absorbing their combat culture.

Thus, the distinctively flashy yet lethal hybrid fighting style that married Silvan martial arts with Sindar swordplay was developed and wielded perfectly by Thranduil.

Thranduil is also a brilliant tactician and field commander, who served as General of the realm's armed forces for many centuries (until his eldest son eventually succeeded him in the role).

He is known for always leading the charge in every single battle, stubbornly rejecting the use of his kingsguard on the field (much to father's chagrin and wife's anxiety). But for this, he is revered by his soldiers, all who would sacrifice their lives for him without hesitation.

Thranduil and Oropher were frequently at odds when it came to policies on managing their military forces and engaging in outside conflicts. Had it not been for Thranduil's push for more training and investing in better armor and weaponry, the realm's losses during the War of the Last Alliance would have been even greater.

After he ascended the throne, Thranduil made it an even greater priority to increase the strength of Greenwood's army, which fortuitously saved the realm from being caught off-guard and overwhelmed when the Necromancer began his assaults from Dol Guldur.

Images above: Thranduil's sword-fighting style and battle prowess is very similar to that of Prince Nuada (also an elf-prince!) from the film Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008).

Thranduilions: The Warrior Princes

The Elvenking passed his combat knowledge onto his sons by training each one of them personally.

For centuries, the princes also trained alongside the rest of the realm's armed forces and gradually grew in skill, each according to his own unique talents.

Crown Prince Mirion, the king's eldest and heir, inherited leadership of Mirkwood's army around TA 1200, when he was named General and "Protector of the Realm", as he was a fierce defender of the Woodland people during the rise of Dol Guldur. (Upon his untimely death, the role reverted back to Thranduil.) He is physically the strongest of the princes, even stronger than his father.

Prince Gelir Thranduilion (fourth-born) is famed for being the realm's most talented archer and hunter, eventually becoming Captain of the Spider-hunters.

Prince Legolas Thranduilion (youngest) is the most acrobatic, creative, and "playful" fighter among his brothers, being the most naturally agile. He is also quick to learn just by observing, and so carries the fighting styles and tricks of his older brothers with him.

Prince Arvellas Thranduilion (third-born) is the least trained and and experienced in the fighting arts among the princes, not for lack of talent, but because (like the Elvenqueen), he chose early on to devote himself to academia and the healing arts instead.

Five Princes of Mirkwood: Personal SotWK commission by hffhifjou (click to enlarge)

Prince Turhir: Born for Battle

While all the Thranduilion Princes are skilled warriors with their own styles, the most naturally gifted and the most like his father in martial strength, skill, and ferocity, is Prince Turhir Thranduilion (second-born).

Turhir can be described as the ultimate fighting machine: brutally strong, virtually inexhaustible, extremely fast (esp. for his 7'6 size), and possessing flawless battle instincts. He is also uniquely hard of body, and in the rare times he sustains injuries, he recovers with no help necessary from healers.

Over the entirety of Thranduil's kingship (Third Age), Turhir is the only one, anywhere in Middle-earth, to have ever bested the Elvenking in single combat--and he did so several times during the Third Age, proving he had the potential to surpass his father in fighting ability.

In TA 542, Turhir was granted the role of Master Trainer of the Greenwood armies, making him responsible for teaching many of the young soldiers that fought for Mirkwood in the wars of the Third Age.

But where was he during the Battle of the Five Armies and War of the Ring?? To be revealed in future HC discussions and/or SotWK fics.

Images above: The spear is Turhir's favorite weapon, and his skill with it is best exhibited again by Prince Nuada from the film Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008), especially in this training scene.

Thank you for reading!

For more Thranduil/Mirkwood headcanons: SotWK HC Masterlist

Tolkien Headcanon tag list (plus some others who have shown interest in this subject--thank you all!): @quickslvxr @laneynoir @auttumnsayshi @achromaticerebus @tamryniel @friendofthefellowshipsnerdblog @blueberryrock @aduialel @glassgulls @ladyweaslette @klytemnestra13 @jezzibee @creativity-of-death @heilith @fizzyxcustard @absentmindeduniverse @lathalea @tamurilofrivendell @jordie-your-local-halfling @laurfilijames @i-am-pinkie @ladyk8tie @princesschimchim1325 @kazimina @scyllas-revenge @asianbutnotjapanese @conversacomsmaug @lemonivall @ratsys

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

call me crazy but i can't shake that bad feeling about making bo-katan like barely 40 in the mandalorian. we're not just supposed to pretend she's old but looks good for her age, we're now supposed to pretend that bo was a teenager during the clone wars and not 25-35. and i wonder if it's because they want to push for the dinbo romance (i absolute do not care one way or another) and they felt the audience would feel weird about it if bo was her actual age of around 55 (minimum) or if it's that they didn't want to tell stories about an old or even just middle-aged woman.

the clone wars were thirty years ago and bo-katan still looks the same. even if we accept that she was only 20 during the war (which i don't), she should be 50 now. but she's not. she was allowed to look middle-aged in rebels when rebels takes place a good ten years before the mandalorian, and suddenly now that it's mainstream live-action she doesn't anymore. what, is it too unrealistic to have a 50+ year old still kicking ass? what about gideon? what about all the old kickass dudes of the franchise? there are like three women in the whole of star wars who get to fight after their 40s and it doesn't even count here because we never see them physically fighting past that age, they're all tacticians. but all the old dudes get to throw punches around and shoot people like it's no problem.

it feels like having katee play bo-katan live was a great excuse to make her as young as they could get away with because you can't have a wrinkled grey haired woman as your poster character. and the audience - even those of us who knew it was bullshit - just gobbled it up.

[christiansorrell]

Tacticians of Ahm - Monthly Update #2!

Full spread art by @helenacore depicting Early Graduation's opening field exercises!

Greetings Tacticians!

Tactician of Ahm's Monthly Update #2 is finally here! With it comes the early access version of the setting book, The Ahmian Almanac, which features its first sample region of Ahm, showcasing the style and structure of setting book I am hoping to create with the Almanac. The book will feature lore and locations, of course, but it will also feature more in-depth maps, new NPCs, unique equipment, a complete new Class, and more! I want to create a book that it as much a sourcebook chock full of new things for GMs to bring to the table as it is information about the world of Ahm and inspiration for adventures.

Thanks you so much for the continued support of and engagement with the game! I used more of the raised funds to commission more art from Helena Santana including a new, full-spread art piece for Early Graduation (at the top of the post) and a piece of Dekkin Von Lopesbane character art (also for Early Graduation). Plus, I've worked with Jean Verne on a second preview spread (see above) of our planned look and feel for the game's final layout, this time utilizing some of Helena's awesome art from Monthly Update #1!

Because of my delay of this update (it was originally slated for last month) and the update overall being smaller than I originally was hoping, I am delaying this month's price hike on the game so if you enjoy Tacticians of Ahm now is still a great time to get on board! Tell your friends to do the same! Next update, the price will rise by $5 USD and that will continue apace (barring unforeseen delays like the one I suffered this last month, of course).

Lastly, I recently ran the opening two hours of Early Graduation over on The Weekly Scroll. Check it out if you'd like to see the game in action and see how I run it as the GM!

PATCH NOTES - v0.8.3

Tactician’s Textbook

Clarified Conditions to apply until the end of target’s next Turn (as opposed to confusing wording regarding Rounds).

Renamed “Shield” Condition to “Ward” to avoid having the same name as a shield, the piece of equipment and updated relevant uses throughout the text.

Ward condition now explicitly blocks all damage AND any/all Conditions while in effect.

Updated Mage Ability - Barrier to include “May be cast on self (1 target maximum per use)”

Added clarifying text to Shields in Equipment section: “(does not block Conditions)”

Added clarifying text regarding applying multiple Conditions to a single target: “A target may suffer one or more different Conditions at the same time. If a target currently has a Condition, they may not be affected by that same Condition again (nor does it add turns of effect to the current Condition) until the current instance has ended.”

Gamemaster’s Guidebook

Added Boar (EL1) to Bestiary

EARLY GRADUATION

Added a massive new piece of art from Helena Santana to the title page, depicting the Tacticians sparring with Imperial Army soldiers during the Field Day exercises!

Added Boar (EL1) to “BATTLE: Wolves in the Woods” and adjusted combatant numbers at various party sizes to more accurately reflect typical intended difficulty.

AHMIAN ALMANAC (NEW!)

Lake Traecine region added, includes the following:

5 Major Points of Interest: New locations for your Tacticians to travel to and explore!

20 Calls for Aid: Adventure hooks and strange happenings across the region!

1 Class: New classes, accessible only to Tacticians who prove their worth!

11 Abilities: New combat skills, taught to those favored by a certain faction!

2 Enemies: New combatants, unique to the specific region or faction!

2 Relics: New guarded/lost pieces of equipment, be they mundane, magical, or corrupt3d!

2 Factions: New groups, wielding political, cultural, or magical power!

1 Shop: A New specialty establishment carrying new and rare items!

4 Characters: New NPCs for your Tacticians to meet, interact with, and fight alongside!

More detailed (placeholder) map of the region with travel paths!

[orchidbreezefc]

edgar woe.begone: low empathy, high masking

THESIS: my reading of edgar woe.begone is that he's a low empathy autistic who has no innate intuition for social cues and has had to teach himself everything about social interaction from scratch, which is an interpretation that i think explains a lot about him.

now, i am very critical of edgar as a person. i think he's a less than good person and a bad boyfriend. but let me be VERY clear right off the bat: these symptoms don't make anyone a bad person. these symptoms aren't even bad per se. theyre all disabling symptoms that make social interaction more difficult for the person who has them. like any symptom, they have to be managed and compensated for.

some people under the neurodivergent/mentally ill umbrella, as with any group of people, are bad people. being a bad person flavors one's approach to their mental illness, and mental illness in turn flavors the manner in which they're a bad person. the mental illness isn't what makes you bad, but it does affect how your shittiness manifests.

disclaimers done, a good place to start is the way edgar speaks, especially with jeremy's performance. edgar always sounds very reasonable, approachable, and agreeable, and there is never an ounce of genuine emotion in his voice. he talks like an autistic person with zero innate intuition for social interaction who has taught himself to speak in the way that he's learned will get the best response.

edgar's customer service voice is the only one we hear and likely the only one he uses if he can help it. we know edgar's a tactician, a persuader. why use any other voice than the one he's carefully fine-tuned to make people like him and be receptive to what he's saying? this isn't even necessarily cynical: what do you want him to do, talk in a more uncontrolled, emotional way--that he's not used to managing--that will make people like him less?? what good would that do?

edgar likes control. he's more comfortable when things are in his hands, and only his. propagation definitely factors in here--if [link: my theory] that propagation is what solidified the certainty of edgar's death is true, it's no wonder he wants to control and limit the spread of information. edgar prefers to be in charge of making the plans, ideally alone.

this is part of why mike is perpetually out of the loop, even regarding decisions that concern him--which is pretty damn paternalistic. but there's a more wholesome aspect as well: edgar genuinely thinks he's doing mike a favor.

edgar knows mike has undergone and is undergoing a lot, and that he's terrible with plans and a major blabbermouth. if edgar can take care of a problem without mike having to worry his pretty head and perfect eyebrows about what to do, without knowing it ever existed, isn't that so much better? that's edgar being a good boyfriend, actually. he's helping!

it probably doesn't even occur to edgar how much this limits mike's agency, how much it hurts mike that edgar refuses to let him in, how this puts them on unequal footing, how fucking patronizing it is to not let your boyfriend make his own decisions about his own life. oh, how the tables have tabled since him originally telling mike that keeping the story of woe.begone from him didn't protect him, it impeded his ability to make informed choices.

here's where the low empathy creates problems--edgar doesn't have that innate intuition for how mike's feeling, and he doesn't (effectively) manage or compensate for it, and he definitely doesn't communicate with mike enough to know how he's affected by this shit (avoiding too much information sharing is good, remember?)

and mike certainly isn't going to tell him! mike is a goddamn simp. he's not going to establish boundaries. he's not going to put his foot down and demand better treatment. as if he fucking deserves that in the first place, pshaw. the only time he pushes back is in season 10 when he doesn't remember their relationship, and edgar is deeply shaken.

edgar is devastated to learn he hurt mikey, because he does genuinely adore that man. he would get lasso lessons from michael and rope him the moon if he could. his low empathy and efforts to manage everything himself keep him from realizing that mikey, a hyperempathetic mess who gets sentimental about pens, seriously suffers from being shut out like this.

edgar's thought process must be equally inscrutable to mikey, who just figures it would be asking too much to be an active and equal participant in his own relationship and life. edgar's perfect and great, so if mikey deserved that, he would already be giving it to him. if mikey's unhappy with any part of their relationship, no he isn't. he's lucky he has edgar at all. he's lucky he has anyone.

recall michael's agonized admission that "everything is about rugby, dammit" 10(++++) years and edgar's literal death later. we can only guess at how bad his rugby was, but we do know michael never talked it through with edgar. he tells mike this was him 'letting it go' actually, when the fact that theyre having this conversation at all is proof that he extremely hasn't. this is what 'letting it go' looks like to michael: burying an issue forever and giving up on ever getting closure.

so yes, edgar does authentically deeply love his mikey-bear. unfortunately, if you never establish the communication to bridge the differences between your own methods of operating and that of your partner, love will only get you so far. and the first time around, where it got them was michael fighting back tears in an apartment in latvia over a wound from edgar that he suffered in silence until the day he died.

[amuseoffyre]

Ended up lying awake last night thinking of Ed and Zheng as mirrors of one another.

Both of them are at the top of their game, the Pirate Queen and the Legendary Blackbeard. Both of them are brilliant tacticians, clever and astute and excellent at reading a situation and using it to their benefit.

While Ed leans into visual Fuckeries with smoke and mirrors to inspire terror, awe and confusion, Zheng inclines more towards emotional Fuckeries. Auntie said it herself - "men are so fucking emotional" and Zheng uses that over and over again to get the results she wants.

We see it in the way Zheng takes control of situations with Bartholomew, Stede and Ricky. Where she lures them into a false sense of security, assures them, encourages them, tells them what they want to hear (only Ricky is more murdery than she anticipated, which is why that one goes so horribly wrong. She thought he was just weak. She didn't know he was spiteful and brutal - the fact he's someone with a legitimate source of power is the difference here. The others are desperate or have no other choice but he has choices and his choice is to be "the worst").

It's very similar to Ed's "fear is a powerful emotion: turn your enemy's fear against him and you'll own him". He uses it to make Stede run him through and to scare people into behaving and submitting. Both of them target peoples' emotions but while Ed goes for fear, Zheng goes for the soft underbelly, finding their emotional vulnerabilities and playing on them.

At the end of 2x08, Zheng does to Ed what Ed does to Izzy in 1x04: suggesting something she assumes he wants (Ed offering the captaincy to Izzy/vengeance for Izzy), indicating that there's a way to get it (Ed's retirement and vacating the spot / joining forces), flattery ('the crew are going to need someone who really knows the ropes' / 'the Pirate Queen *and* Blackbeard'). They operate using the same playbook and he recognises it when she not only tries it on him, but refocuses it on Stede to keep him sweet as well.

It's also a demonstration of the weaponising of gender and race for both of them. Ed is fully aware of how he is perceived and has seen it printed in black and white in the British propaganda. He hates it, but when he's in his deepest despair, he uses it, dressing and acting as they assume he will to terrorise them - the nine guns, the black around his eyes, calling himself "the fucking devil" after the print of the "the devil pyrate blackbeard".

Likewise Zheng knows there's a certain expectation of women, especially in a region where the colonising forces are primarily shown to be white, and uses it to her advantage to keep people off balance, knocking the emotional legs out from other people and keeping them down before they can work out wtf has happened. The scene with Bartholomew when he goes to the white guy first, then the black guy and only then to Zheng herself and the way she uses that to take control of the scene is beautiful. She also plays it sweet and nice and gentle, friendly and self-depracating, to make herself seem less of a threat, even when she has just kicked ass in front of them and they fall for it.

Both of them have a certain kind of reputation and an earned respect, but likewise, they are both also hankering for something else. A break in the day when it's become a bit of a grind. A bit of softness when everything else about their life is hard.

The difference comes from Zheng choosing the path she's on and expanding her conquests, while Ed has been pushed onto his by circumstance since childhood. Zheng actively pursues her ambition while Ed feels strangled by the reputation and name that precedes him.

I'm so curious where they'll take their arcs if/when we get S3, when Ed has made moves to step back from that life, but will inevitably be dragged back into it, while Zheng has faced her first major loss and needs to recalibrate and change her tactics.

[canmom]

baldur gate

belatedly joining the bg3 train. I played BG1 when I was a kid but never got around to BG2. here are my observations:

the hair and skin rendering. good god. the rest of the game looks decent enough but they really went all out on the characters. I have to know what technique they're using for that hair there, it responds to light so well, and it can handle a variety of hair textures and stuff. ...look I know what a nerdy start this is this is literally my job ok ><

the character designer gives you four different types of penis to choose from, but there's no face customisation sliders, just a choice of about ten presets. i know this game is basically an eroge but still, lmao.

no body sliders in general actually. might need to look into mods because the bodies in this game are kinda weird. everyone's sorta uniformly ripped, I can't make my boobs smaller, etc. etc. (and of course the whole 'nobody can be fat' thing that has been commented on often). I think I need to get some mods.

mind flayer body horror stuff is tasty. that opening cutscene goes so hard. og Baldur's Gate games would have some fun in their cutscenes - I still remember the one with the blood flowing around the cobblestones - but a plane-hopping battle with multiple dragons and a big squid spaceship is setting the bar pretty high. look forward to seeing if the rest of the game can live up to it.

there's something wonderfully tabletop about the first two companions being... well. the first player I can imagine being like 'yeah so here is my lore-accurate gith, I learned the gith language and everything, I've written a thirty page backstory for her' and the second player is just 'yeah here's my elf, she's called... Shadowheart'. they shoulda made her a warlock (but it's lucky they didn't because then we'd have two warlocks)

the starting armour for those two companions looks absolutely shit. it looks like it's spraypainted plastic, especially since it's skinned in a way where rigid metal parts bend at the joints. just way too busy as designs. I need to find some better drip for these girls asap.

of course I played a warlock. I almost always play warlocks in D&D. it's such a chuuni class and there's a lot of conflict potential in the patron thing. also I hear this is a game where it pays to have good cha on the MC, which pretty much limits you to bard, sorc and lock. I hope they make patron interactions a thing in this game.

the implementation of 5e combat as a CRPG is pretty thorough! also, D&D combat works way better on the PC where you can resolve everything in five minutes than it does at the table. I put it on Tactician mode but so far it's been pretty trivial, I look forward to more interesting encounters down the line.

the d20 rolling UI is kinda ostentatious huh

overall, seems promising. that said this isn't a liveblog, probably. unless I run into something particularly interesting.

[eponymous-rose]

Had another RIDICULOUS fight in BG3 (major spoilers for Act 3!):

So there's my Tav, Shadowheart, Astarion and Karlach heading to the House of Grief. We get into a confrontation with Viconia DeVir, as you do, and suddenly there we are, somewhat underprepared (no elixirs, no dipped weapons), facing down an even 20 enemies on Tactician difficulty.

Okay. Okay. Shadowheart is isolated from the rest in the initiative order, so even though my fighter Tav and Karlach each whittle down one of the weaker enemies, the rest have ample time to bring Shadowheart down, again and again. I'm in a situation where I know that trying to keep her up is going to make things impossibly difficult, but I hate giving up the damage and healing (not to mention I really really want her to be conscious in case the game chucks me straight into a cutscene). I also don't want to Globe of Invulnerability this fight out of sheer cussedness.

Okay. Karlach and Astarion (tied at the top of the initiative order) are nearby, maybe they can get something set up? But oh, Shadowheart's gone down in a region of Darkness, so nothing can be thrown at her, including healing potions. I'm doing some complicated mental math with bonus actions and actions and trying to figure out how to get Shadowheart up, get some health into her, and get her out of the line of fire. My hail-Mary attempt to use Astarion to break concentration on the caster of Darkness fails, so I have to give up Shadowheart for dead (at least for now) and have Karlach leap over most of the enemies and flee up the stairs to at least force some of the enemies to waste their turn dashing up to follow her.

Shadowheart is immediately killed, and Astarion (exposed in his attempt to help Shadowheart) is unfortunately right behind her. Finger hovering over the "reload" button, I hesitate. Eighteen enemies remaining, just two very fighty girlfriends (Tav and Karlach) remaining alive. Wouldn't that be a cool story if it worked out?

Here we go. I have my Tav cast Haste on herself (she has it from some item or other - this version of Haste is 10 turns instead of the lesser amount you get with Potion of Speed, there's literally *no* downside!) and she starts wrecking shop. One turn: 3 dead. Another turn: another 3 dead. Meanwhile Karlach is whittling away at a few of the enemies up on the stairs, mostly just soaking up hits masterfully with the halved damage.

Uh-oh. Tav loses concentration on Haste (there's literally *one* downside!). From there, it's pretty quick - she's downed and killed within a turn, leaving Karlach alone at the top of the stairs. 10 enemies remain, most of them magic users with the ability to nullify healing, several of which are untouched with over 100 HP.

Uhhhhhh, okay. Let's try this. Karlach is wielding Nyrulna, which does more damage (as well as some extra damage in an AOE) if you throw it instead of using it in melee (it teleports back to her hand). She manages to throw it at a few of the enemies up close and pick off one, then jumps over one enemy, grabs another enemy, and throws that enemy at a third enemy. Just barbarian things, you know?

But things are starting to look rough. I have Karlach take a Potion of Speed at some point, mainly to do some running away from the enemies to force them to Dash on their turns, and I realize quickly that said Potion of Speed about to wear off, which means I will have one missed turn where I'm out of commission entirely and Karlach (who currently cannot heal herself due to a spell and will also lose her damage-halving Rage) will be dead.

Okay. Uh. What do I have in my inventory? Oh! Spell scrolls! Those might do some good, although I'll still be a sitting duck even after dealing some substantial damage. Or... wait, is that a Potion of Invisibility?

Karlach uses both of her actions to run to a side chamber, out of sight of the remaining ten enemies. She chugs that Potion of Invisibility.

The enemies all stare at each other. The enemies yell threats. The enemies do not come after her. Her next turn comes around, and she is immobilized by the lethargy at the end of the effects of the Potion of Speed, and her Rage drops. But she's still invisible! Another round of confused enemies yelling. And we're back!

The effect preventing her from healing is also gone, so I have her take a couple health potions over a couple more turns of invisibility. Now we're back to full HP, baby! Emboldened, but before going back to raging, she walks up to the Big Bad and uses a spell scroll to cast Disintegrate. 12% chance of killing her, 88% chance of 0 damage!

And... yeah, of course that didn't work. Not sure why I thought it would. Goodbye invisibility. Hello rage.

What ensues is a Yakety-Sax-worthy chase around the level, with Karlach sprinting a bit ahead, doubling back to throw the trident at a few enemies, then sprinting away. They're going to flank her, though, as she runs back towards the original staircase. Hey, there's a door here! She has juuuuust enough movement to pop inside. Hey, line-of-sight is a thing with most spells!

She closes the door behind her.

The enemies waste another turn just getting close enough to fling the door open, at which point Karlach has done some more healing and is ready for further violence. By this point more and more of the enemies have been dropping (including the Big Bad), and we're down to just five.

More kiting, more sprinting around, lots of jumps, strategic pushes, a few close calls, and Karlach is staring down the last 23 HP of her final enemy. Incredible. Amazing. A worthy feat.

.......wouldn't it be funny if I managed to rez all the other characters before finishing the fight?

Instead of dealing the finishing blow this poor Justiciar was doubtlessly expecting, Karlach cuts and runs back over to Shadowheart, pulling out a scroll of Revivify and bringing Shadowheart back as far from the remaining enemy as possible.

Shadowheart spawns in, baffled and at 1 HP. Shadowheart also is not currently in the initiative order. Shadowheart promptly heals herself to full and revivifies Tav, lying nearby, before both are pulled into the initiative order.

Karlach takes a hit from the remaining enemy, and then again when she pulls away to try to find Astarion. Yes, find Astarion. Our rogue has stealthed his dead body off the map. She fumbles around for a bit and finally just gets into melee with the last enemy and ends her turn. Amisra and Shadowheart are up, Amisra heals, and it takes a prod from @loquaciousquark for me to remember you can click on the character portraits along the side to target them directly. Shadowheart brings back Astarion and heals him!

Karlach, fire in her eyes, chases down the remaining Sharran and takes down the last little flicker of HP.

Final result: all 20 enemies killed, all 4 of my party members alive, conscious, and sitting at over half HP.

Exactly as planned.

[starsinmylatte]

Hi, can I ask for F, G, and R from the smut headcanons (for the hot blue man) and maybe also Y if you want/have enough time? Love your writing, keep up the fine work (of giving us Thrawn girls things to feast on)

Thank you, Anon, my beloved!! I have a solemn duty to feed my fellow Thrawn Girlies (gn) 💜🥰

Original smut headcanon post here

Other letters I've answered: Q, S, Z || E, M, and W

Warnings: There really aren't any for this one besides NSFW. It's sweet and intimate here, besties.

F: Firsts (First time having sex together)

Any first with Thrawn is going to be so deeply passionate. He isn't one for random flings, and I don't think he's much for escort services (although he'd respect the profession). For him to truly find release in the arms of someone else, he'd have to trust them, and that in itself is an incredibly tricky thing given his position. Needless to say, anyone Thrawn is having sex with is important to him and has been for a time. Because of that, he is absolutely determined to show them how much he cares.

Every touch, kiss, and caress is filled with hunger and Thrawn's pure desire for intimacy with you. The sex isn't necessarily gentle, it's more reverent. He doesn't treat you like you'll break because he knows you won't.

I feel in my soul that there are probably multiple rounds, but the very first one is Thrawn trying to manifest his feelings for you into a physical form of intimacy. It's slow and intimate lovemaking, but the implication behind it is obvious... your souls are entwining as much as your bodies are.

G: Gentle (Describe gentle/loving mid-sex gestures)

Thrawn is the type to break the pace at which he's fucking you to take a devastatingly slow roll of his hips, press a kiss to your temple, and murmur something to you in Cheunh.

When you learn more of his native tongue, you realize that he's telling you how beautiful you are. Thrawn calls you his beloved, precious, and more, whispering all that you mean to him and just how amazing you are against your skin.

He's also the type to hold your hand while he fucks you, lacing his fingers through yours while you cry out in pleasure.

R: Ruttish (Signs that they’re horny)

His eyes glow brightly when the two of you are alone and he wants physical intimacy. Thrawn is able to hide it (to an extent) when others are around or if the timing isn't appropriate.

That being said, it's also very similar to how they glow when he's excited or intrigued by something. Only like three people probably know him well enough to tell the difference, so he is able to find an easy excuse.

Thrawn also gets handsy when he's in the mood, his voice gets a little deeper, and his accent comes back. Even if he can't get as handsy as he'd like, he still manages clandestine touches of your hand or shoulder. They are touches that seem mundane to everyone, but you know exactly what they mean.

Y: Yawn (How they sleep post-sex)

Alright, there's a certain level of "light sleeper" you have to be when you can be called on at any moment for an emergency (ask me how I know this lmao), and Thrawn is basically on 24/7 call as a Grand Admiral.

That being said, his sleep patterns are interesting. He sleeps better next to his beloved, especially after sex.

Thrawn, the infamous tactician and Grand Admiral of the Seventh Fleet is a clingy cuddler. He needs to feel his beloved is safe in his arms and his preferred sleeping position is any that allows him to fully wrap himself around his partner.

When Thrawn is alone, he tends to wander into his office at 0200 when he has an important thought, or because he needs a fresh perspective on a piece of art he's studying, but when his beloved is sleeping next to him, he's a little more conscious of what is imminently important and what can wait until morning. Thrawn's desire to not disturb his lover actually backfires into him taking better care of himself, too.