#Wanting to be a parent should be a fucking mental disorder

[onesaltysir]

Parents will post the dumbest shit I swear to god

Rant under cut

Idk Kelli, maybe your son was looking for you because you're his parent, and children typically go to their parents when they want something. I PROMISE you, your five year old with skibidi ipad cocomelon tiktok syndrome who can't read does not understand the concept of perfect parents.

Quit praising yourself for taking on a job that you chose to do. If your kid wants his mum, he's going to go to his mum. Like that is the simplest thing. He dgaf if you're perfect, he just wants something. You're not some angelic queen because you chose to be a mother.

Parents, you do not deserve special treatment for raw dogging it and then popping out some little shit named Braxteyighnn or Ahshahleyigh. Stop acting like you're some angel when all you do is shove an ipad in your kid's face while you post about how your parenting is so perfect and you're some magical blessing on this world.

Parents who do this shit are not a blessing, they're the bane of my existence.

Get off your mommy blog, get off your high horse, and do the fucking job you chose to do.

[sanjarka]

oh won't you just shut up for once. no i don't like talking to you. i don't think you're a good person and i can't have a honest conversation with you because every time i say something that you do not agree with you go on a rant about how stupid i am to think that way. i don't respect you, i am afraid of you.

[undyinglantern]

being closer to your 30s than 20s and having nothing to show for it is so

[jonbinary-archive]

i feel like, secondary to that idea of being forced to see articles about how to 'deal with you', it's so hard to find resources to heal from trauma or w/e as someone with a personality disorder/low empathy/cluster b disorder/etc just because all of the books and articles are constantly framing the perpetrators as someone like you. sure, even if they mention that there's "good" people with these disorders (which rarely happens), it still sucks having to wade through chapter after chapter calling every little thing narcissistic and equating it with evil.

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

DROP YOUR DX FOR VOX !!!!! Please and thank you.

I would like to preface all my posts on headcanons related to psychology and mental illness with a disclaimer: diagnosing mental conditions, especially personality disorders, can be extremely challenging. It's a complicated process that relies heavily on a psychologist's interpretation of facts, making it susceptible to biases. Personality disorders cannot be diagnosed based on surface-level observations and are not just labels that we can assign to people like in the case of MBTI. Additionally, I am not a clinician with any expertise in diagnosing people. Therefore, the following post should not be taken as a reliable professional opinion. It's simply my interpretation of the internal mechanisms that may be responsible for the behavior of certain characters in my fan fiction. Furthermore, I want to make it clear that I have no intention of stigmatizing people with personality disorders by associating them with villains. A personality disorder does not determine someone's character or make them a bad person. Some characters may be evil because of the choices they make, not as a result of their mental conditions.

(I've already posted some stuff here so I'm not going to repeat myself.)

Okay, so, Vox has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). It's crucial to distinguish this from "common narcissism" (people often described as "narcissists" by others just because they are egotist assholes; kinda ableist, you shouldn't do it because it's extremely stigmatizing towards people suffering with actual NPD) . While those individuals typically function well, those with NPD exhibit all the traits – grandiosity, egocentrism, attention-seeking, intense power fantasies – but as it's a disorder, these traits lead to inflexible and maladaptive patterns of behavior and cognition.

NPD has its roots in intense feelings of shame, low self-compassion, and self-loathing. In my interpretation, Vox has always felt inadequate. His father inherited an enormous amount of money, establishing a media conglomerate in the 20's. Vox's mother, captivated by the world of movies, used them to escape her reality as a trophy wife. Despite her dreams of becoming an actress, Vox's father, possessive and protective, prevented her entry into the entertainment industry. As a compromise, he made their son a child actor, with the condition that it would be temporary. When Vox grew older, he was expected to transition to learning business and other skills, ultimately to take over the family's empire.

So, Vox was never enough for either of his parents. His father thought of him as annoying and unserious due to his talkativeness and exaggerated behaviors, attributing it to growing up surrounded by actors. As for his mother... Vox turned out to be a terrible actor, struggling to convey emotions that weren't bombastic and over-the-top. Being a teenager is humiliating enough, but imagine being a teenager bad at something and forced to do it for a worldwide audience, when the whole production crew is annoyed with you. Fortunately, he grew up to be devilishly handsome (not to be a simp, I just believe someone must be handsome to endure the ethereal punishment of having their face swapped for a TV screen) and entertaining, leading them to make him a TV host and media personality.

Anyway, NPD is all about creating a perfect self and projecting it to the world when you're deeply ashamed of your true self. It means that, no matter what you're doing, you're constantly concerned about how it looks to other people. You constantly play an exhausting game, trying to win gold stars of social admiration for every-fucking-thing, guided by superficial ideals of wealth, perfection, beauty, and, above all, power. One reason Alastor's existence bothers Vox so much is the fact that he cannot comprehend the idea of someone choosing radio over his "objectively better and correct" medium. Vox lacks the ability to understand nuanced sentiments, which ironically makes him thrive in Hell. In this anarchocapitalist, lawless society, survival of the fittest prevails, and this is a game he excels at playing.

Generally, the best approach for individuals with NPD is to pull them out of delusional thinking by confronting their beliefs about the world and themselves with reality (it should be performed by qualified therapist, especially when someone hasn't completed any kind of therapeutic process yet). However, in Hell, Vox's behavior was no longer in violation of social norms; on the contrary, it was highly rewarded. Consequently, he completely lost his shit, became unhinged, and began acting on all his previously suppressed urges. He finally fulfilled all narcissistic power fantasies and became (almost) untouchable. Now, he's ready to kill anyone who questions him, seeing it as threatening to his fragile image of the perfect self.

He exhibits strong bipolar tendencies. Most of the time, he's power-tripping in a semi-maniacal state. Periodically, he undergoes deep, depressive episodes, locking himself up in his apartment and avoiding interaction.

Constantly guarding this fragile image of the perfect self that he built is exhausting. The bigger this image gets, the more fragile it becomes, like a house of cards. And guarding it becomes more and more exhausting. But there's nothing scarier than the idea of the facade falling apart and people seeing him as he is: imperfect and vulnerable, damaged and ashamed, rotten and evil. Deep down, he knows he's unlovable, and it hurts. He knows that true love exists; he craves this ultimate form of admiration and devotion, but it requires vulnerability and honesty, which he's not capable of. He's only vulnerable with Valentino, and only occasionally when he's intoxicated or when Val fucks every last thought out of his body. He's very much a controlling top insecure about his masculinity, so the latter happens rarely.

Also, drugs. Oh, do this man enjoy some coke. Other drugs and booze, not so much; they make him feel less in control. But getting coked up, going out, causing a scene, killing some poor souls, and relishing this feeling of being completely untouchable? Feels so good.

When it comes to Alastor, he hates him because he's jealous. Despite all his efforts—building a perfect persona, a perfect company, perfect entertainment—this stinky, outdated, and boring radio demon gets so much attention and admiration that should be his. Moreover, he feels that Alastor can see right through his bullshit. He's so paranoid about it that he's almost certain Alastor knows about his childhood traumas, about his death, about all his truths, and could one day broadcast it for all people of Hell to hear. So, he needs him dead.

Note: these headcanons (especially Vox's past) are very important part of my fanfiction. Please feel free to use them in your fics but I'll appreciate if you tag me 🩷

Velvette hc | Valentino hc | Vees + Angel hc | VoxVal hc

[yannaryartside]

Carmy has been a victim of gaslight his whole life

gifs by @robertacolndrez

So, the definition of gaslight, according to this site, is:

 "Psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one's emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator."

According to Forbes Health, this are some of the things you experience when you are being constantly gaslighted.

Anxiety

Depression

Disorientation

Lowered self-esteem

Post-traumatic stress disorder

A hyperbolized fear of danger, known as hypervigilance

I want to zoom off that last one; remember when Carmy told in the group sharing session that he had to remember himself that the world was not falling? That he had to remember himself to breathe?

If we take "Fishes" as a basis to understand the family dynamics as they grow up (and I think we should), then we can get a pretty good idea of how much Carmy's feelings and thoughts were discredited growing up.

When he speaks up about how much shit they are giving him about his profession, Donna and Mickey attack him in the group to make them say "I love you," basically telling him that it doesn't matter that they make him feel like shit; Carmy is supposed to love them no matter what. I assume this is the answer he got every time he spoke up about boundaries being crossed, or maybe he was just so intimidated by his much larger and loud older brother or his aggressive mother. We can get traces of this trauma every time he gets insulted to his face in the show; it was so bad that it was Pete of all people who had to defend him (it is very telling that is Pete because to everyone else, insulting Carmy and him having to just take it seem to be a normal occurrence, Donna made it that way). It was the only way to keep the peace and the family functioning. Clining to the love he could take in the "good moments."

Here are some ways the most important people of his life had gaslight Carmy:

Donna seems to have a preference for Mickey over Carmy, a preference he is aware of but never understands why. Donna will throw "forks" of random aggression at Carmen, and he can never fight back. As a child, he was forced to think there was something wrong with him because that is the way a kid's mind works.

Mickey lied to him about why he cast him out and hid his addiction. Ignored Carmy's calls and then acted like Carmy (who was alone in a different city and in a very mentally aggressive industry) was making a big deal about it. Carmy wanted support, and Mickey (probably the only real parent figure he ever had) was making him feel shit about it.

gifs by @thoughtfulchaos773

When he confronted it about it, Carmy couldn't even look his brother in the face; that is how much deep down Carmy was intimidated by him. Mickey also never gave him a final answer about their dream restaurant. With time, the breach between the brothers got so big that the only call he ever received about Mickey was to inform him of his death.

gifs by @espumado

Richie, Mickey, and others started to tell him about who he should date. It seems like they still intend to make decisions for him on that front. (Fuck Fak and Richie). They knew Carmys had a crush on Claire at some point and were weaponizing his emotions; Mickey probably did it to compensate for how much of a shy brother he had been. It is possible they ver wanted Claire for themselves.

And then, you have Claire, that absolute promisse of uncomplicated love and affection. She doesn't necessarily gaslight Carmy, but she definitely has infantilized him in a couple of instances. Aka, this post.

That kind of game from Claire, suggesting to somebody else what they should think or say, is not acceptable either. When a person does that, they are aware they are doing it; it doesn't matter if they think it is harmless or not. Toxic behavior and ignoring boundaries don't stop being toxic because you have love/affection for the other person.

The fact that a victim of gaslight like Carmy is accepting this treatment, a person who had to go with what people wanted from him his whole life, feeling he had to adapt to receive love, because otherwise there was something wrong with him (Donna), makes it all worse. Carmy has associated (subconsciously) accepting insulting scenarios as part of a relationship with a loved one. With Claire, he accepts being infantilized and guided into saying the things she wants him to say. Yikes all around. I am not saying Claire is or would abuse Carmy, but this dynamic's undertone is not pretty.

I hate to end this on a shipper note, but for me, this all goes back to Sydney. Since the beginning, Syd is the only person who has established clear intentions with him and followed through with them. She does it when she says she wants something or will do something. Why does this "best friend" woman seem to have a less toxic approach to their relationship than his own girlfriend? That shit cannot be unintentional. Camy and Syd established in s2 that they could argue while recognizing their responsibility for the argument. No antagonizing, no lies, no manipulation.

[happysparklingshadows]

𝙻𝚘𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚎 𝙼𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚠𝚜 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜 ('𝟿𝟼)

Note: Sorry for being away for so long, depression came and kicked my fat ass this month. Chapter 4 of Certain Hunger is coming out September 25 so watch out for that, and i hope you like these headcannons! Comment your own and reblog if you like!

𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝙻𝚘𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚎 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜

♡ Lottie is a Pieces Sun and Libra Rising 

♡ Lottie’s favorite color is Purple, Royal purple, to be specific. 

♡ Lottie is a cat person through and through. She likes to be very gentle with animals and take things at their speed. If they didn’t want affection, that was okay, they will eventually want something, and Lottie will just be content. 

Lottie's spirit Animal is the Bear.

♡ Lottie, for sure, had a pet cat that was her best friend as a child. Her mother wasn’t emotionally available, and her father thought throwing money at problems would fix them. Lottie grew up believing she was messed up and wished she could just be how her parents wanted her, but she never really understood what was wrong with her. 

♡ Lottie is a Extervert. She loves connecting with people and talking in general. She is the type of person who always makes little friends in public places. It could be an old lady, a frat dude, or a little girl. It doesn’t matter because she is now their friend, and they are talking. 

♡ Lottie likes spicy food a lot, and she would be the person to proudly eat chili without flinching infront of people. 

♡ Lottie’s favorite food is a Spicy King Crab roll and Miso Soup from her hometown Japanese restaurant. She likes to add wasabi to all her sushi, even the Californian roll. 

♡ Lottie's childhood was not horrible, but it was very lonely. Lottie had all the toys, Nannies, and friends to fill her time. She never went without, and she never really had to worry about her basic needs not getting met. But her mother was emotionally absent because her father was a very intense control freak about how the family should be. Her dad came from money, and her mother did not, and she was the collateral damage of two different philosophies about raising kids. She didn't get any reassurance, and she was seen as messed up in some way. If she wasn't perfect or had opinions against her father, he would throw her mental disorder in her face. Lottie loves her parents and will follow what they say to the word, but she holds so much resentment towards them.

♡ Laura Lee, Taissa,  and Van are her closest friends on the team. In high school, Van, Tai, and Lottie always sat together in classes and at lunch. They were their own cliche in the team, and Laura Lee was the innocent add-on they all had a soft spot for. 

♡ Lottie's sex drive is pretty normal, it isn't all that crazy. Lottie likes to have sex 1 or 2 times a week, and she likes to have wholesome intimacy in between. Lottie is a Switch! in her normal setting, but she does lead towards Top! most of the time.

♡ I think Lottie’s main vice that she uses at a party, which might be crazy but hear me out, is cocaine. I believe this because she is 1. a girl from NEW money 2. It’s an upper drug 3. It’s the fucking 1990s. 

♡ ⚠️Unpopular opinion⚠️ I think that Lottie is not ashamed of being rich and taking her father’s money. It’s the culture of her family and their upper-class peers. She is thrilled that she doesn’t have to work or struggle, and she grows to learn that it is a profound privilege never to have to work or struggle in her early adulthood or ever really. 

𝙳𝚒𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝙰𝚄s/𝚄𝚗𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚎s

♡ Royalty AU! Lottie Matthews would be a Merlin or Head Mage of the castle. I can see Lottie playing some kind of magical role in a fantasy setting and that she would be someone who is seen as crazy still because I feel like it is core to Lottie’s character. She would give you healing potions, and she would give you a protective rune for your armor or a necklace for your journey. She would be watching out for you through a looking glass. 

♡ Delinquent AU! Lottie is a hardcore shoplifter who got busted for stealing $670 worth of clothes from the mall. She was arrested, her parents paid her bail, and she kept doing it. It gives Lottie feelings that she usually has numbed through her many medications and uses Shoplifting to thrill her in her watered-down, milquetoast privileged life. 

♡ Supernatural AU! Lottie is a forest witch for the reasons above in the Royalty AU.  

♡ Superhero/Marvel AU! Spiderman. No other words. 

♡ College AU! Lottie would be a pothead in college and would get into spirituality. I think in every timeline, Lottie gives off goop vibes and would become some kind of spiritual influencer. She would be on Witchtok for sure. Lottie would change majors a lot. I see English, Communications, French, and even a try in Gender studies. She will eventually drop out because she has her dad’s money to fall back on.

𝙿𝚛𝚎-𝙲𝚛𝚊𝚜𝚑 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜

♡ Lottie would be the one to tell you that she likes you first, and she would be very blunt about it. Lottie wants to take bandaids off as quickly as possible, so when she has feelings, she just wants to shoot her shot and lick her wounds as quickly as possible. 

♡ Lottie is a firm believer in retail therapy. Lottie has always really liked to go shopping and go to the mall. She likes to try on clothes and make you try on different looks. Want to try goth, preppy, sporty, chic? She would never be shy to buy you some things on her dad’s credit card. 

♡ Lottie likes to take you out on dates to restaurants and lovely places like ballets and theatres. I see Lottie taking you out for a good dinner and going off to see the Nutcracker with hot chocolates around Christmas time.

♡ Lottie is the more anxious partner in the relationship. She will call you and try to talk when you are away from her. She wants to ensure you are always okay and doesn’t like her favorite person being away from her. 

𝚆𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜

♡ Lottie leans on you for support when she runs out of her medication. She entirely relies on you to tell her what reality is anymore because she can’t tell with her chemicals being misplaced. Her delusions become very real, the voices seem more real and responsible, and she doesn’t trust herself. Even with her connection to It, Lottie doesn’t trust her perception of anything. She doesn’t ask you about things most of the time. 

♡ Lottie always tells you about her dreams at night, how they happened, and the surreal plots of her mind, and she wants to know yours. She grows to believe that everyone’s dreams tell you something that could bring the Yellowjackets more food and breaks from the wilderness. A deer must be nearby if you see a deer in a dream. If there was a conflict with people or the girls on camp in a dream, that indicates there must be some bad times coming your way (small or big could cast lives) 

♡ Lottie cuddles with you all the time in the wilderness for warmth. Lottie is always cold, even in the summer. She likes to have you physically near her to feel your heat. She is very physically affectionate out in the wilderness. 

♡  Lottie gets jealous quickly, even before the crash, by giving something or someone more attention than you give her. She doesn’t like it. If you are hanging out with your friends on camp, Lottie will wander into the conversation seamlessly. But if you are getting flirted with, or she perceives someone is flirting with you, she goes a little crazy. She gets confrontational, and she becomes somewhat aggressive in her words, but she always comes to her senses and apologies.

♡  Lottie has more sexual desire now in the wilderness, and the freedom of being in love with you makes her want to have sex anytime you move. In the wilderness, Lottie develops a primal kink and a breeding kink out there and begs to get you pregnant (which can't happen).

[shoyosoneandonlywife]

INCOMING RANT

Yoshida shoyo should be treated as 1 whole man rather than 2 distinct characters.

(with manga panels and light analysis)

I will be exploring multiple personality disorder to a certain extent and the pivotal role it plays on his character as well as in gintama.

when I see people treating this man like he's twins or just legitimately viewing this man as two different people as if it is the right interpretation genuinely gets me tweaking so I need to put forward the facts of my case your honour😭😭😭

RANT BELOW:

I have to get this off my chest, Utsuro and Shoyo are two different PERSONALITIES, not two different men. Up until now, about like 50% of the fandom treat him as if he's two whole separate beings which is completely WRONG AND DUMB. He has multiple personality disorder, which is the reason why he started a whole ass school for free, but also somehow wanted to destroy the world. Why? Because he's mentally deranged, are you with me?

And these are the same people, the ones that see him as two different characters, sometimes ship these two personalities together, even that is not that important but what's more pressing is that ive seen them end up condoning the problematic ships in the fandom, like you just got to ship him with someone and they end up shipping him with his students from Shoka Sonjuku.💀

I'm including all of his disciples from oboro all the way to nobume, he has played parental figure for all of them.

Even though he may have disappeared for around a decade or a lil more, and then returned after they've all grown into adults, it doesn't change the fact that he played a crucial role in raising and influencing the ways they view the world as a parent would.

I'm emphasising on this because ive seen mostly oboro and gintoki as the victims, just because oboro may be a little near to a decade older than the rest of his shoka sonjuku juniors does not mean he was way more mature

Oboro was as young as gintoki when he had met shoyo and had since been learning from shoyo as his teacher/parent.

(oboro is technically blood related to him too since he had shared his blood the moment he saw oboro was dying so that amounts to accepting oboro as his son to me🤷🏽‍♀️ I said the truth didnt I)

Further emphasis on the fact that it was canonically discussed that Utsuro is a grandpa even to incredibly old geezers and he sees them as youngsters, so his shoka sonjuku disciples are technically fetuses to him😭😭😭

This is a man that cannot be shipped with anyone that's just the type of character that he is. I'm not even biased if you look at it from a general perspective you have no choice but to agree.

This particular idea/headcanon or whatever the fuck you wanna call, is a very common conception and dulls HIS(SINGULAR) character to a large extent. Seeing him as the character that he truly is, a mentally ill man that has a profound amount of knowledge, yet is unable to heal himself would make someone appreciate gintama even more, for its habit to cover many topics that are diverse in it.

A man who is torn WITHIN HIMSELF WE ARE SEEING IT THROUGHOUT GINTAMA AND IT GETS KNOCKED INTO OUR HEADS ALL OF THE TIME. And I promise you his character will appear to be much more dynamic, amazing and explosive I guarantee it.

I'm being so honest when I say that seeing him as an individual who's, like, not okay in the head, and how he went about handling these issues, is a much more fun and interesting perspective as well, in my opinion.

But I think a lot of people can't wrap their head around the fact that he has multiple personality disorder. I've seen a lot of people say, "oh, he's a bad character, his character doesn't make sense, especially when he comes back as a villain." However it's understandable since Multiple personality disorder is a very complex and tricky issue to understand

To the theories that Utsuro's plot and actions don't make sense, YES it doesn't make sense, and it doesn't make sense because he's unpredictable. Why? Because he's not okay psychologically and psychological imbalance can lead to irrational decisions(to put it in a summary)

Multiple personality disorder is one of the disorders that's considered like the apex of instability because the person themselves do not have control over it, due to how affected the person has been. And MPD IS ALSO UNPREDICTABLE ASH.

(Shoyo did claim he was planning to run away for a while to Oboro but a man that's been running this organisation for centuries suddenly taking this decision in a span of a few short years can contribute to this MPD)

Even the characters in the show couldn't tell what he was gonna do at all until the end(at least up till the finale). They couldn't tell what he was gonna do. Why? Because he's unstable and, the distinct contrast between the era where he was their Sensei to becoming the destroyer of the universe is like a slap to the face.

He's not okay in any sort of way, actually, which is why he's more traumatized than the average human could ever be. So it makes sense that he's very unpredictable and his actions don't make sense.

His whole character is actually a genius, sorachi was cooking when he introduced him because there are so many underlying facts that stem out to many aspects surrounding human suffering all the way till the cycle of life that intertwine with his character

AND so much intricacies to the way his character is shaped, which is considered complex. THAT is the reason why he's underrated and half of the time people call him a bad character/two different people because they have zero media literacy and they won't accept anything else beyond what they already know

(for example the variety and different ways psychological repression can be expressed)

I just know the reason he is not as famous or talked about often like aizen, sukuna, johan etc is because of his complications and so many many many aspects to his character that needs more research and more observation to be understood. The perplexity in this aspect of his contributes to him being overshadowed and underrated.

These mentioned characters are amazing villains in and of themselves but what makes utsuro specifically stand apart is his absurd backstory and the disorder that he had developed due to said past lives. It's not common for us to see villains with multiple personality disorder is it?

Hence my reason as to why people should probably take more time to understand his character, scratch that if you just watched it with an open mind at first I think you'll get his character's purpose and actions fast enough.

The same applies for gintama as a whole, the best way to watch it is with an open and empty mind, especially so that you won't miss the nuances and other areas that build gintama's characters.

In this case Shoyo requires us to really observe his actions and be able to understand why he is taking such drastic and contradictory measures no matter what he does.

It's just that Sorachi never really bothers to tell it to our faces or really jumbles it up here and there and we're left to pick up the puzzle pieces😭

E.g. The finale where it was only confirmed in an interview that it was takasugi reborn and it has other metaphors in it as well or smth😭

Shoyo's backstory and trauma leading which ultimately lead to the state of his psychological state:

When some people are like, "yeah, yeah, it's just two different characters". It takes away a really important aspect of his character. Believe me or not, his mental illness plays a really important role in the major events of Gintama.

That's due to the fact that THIS IS THE SAME MAN, THE ONE AND ONLY ONE, that raised the main characters and antagonists of the show, but also was the one who committed mass genocide, wanted to destroy the universe, etc. Why? Because of his multiple personality disorder.(STAY WITH ME)

And why did this MPD come about? Because of his extreme suffering and trauma, And to cope with that, he got MPD. So when people are like, "yeah, it's just two different people". You're missing an extremely vital part to his character,

and putting up a wall from understanding the various intricacies to his characterization including when you treat this mentioned miserable man like he's split into half and somehow is a pair of twins now like be fr w me💀

(it is much less entertaining than how his character is actually portrayed and it ruins his character, it dumbs down the unique qualities of him and lumps him in with the rest of some mediocre villains in shonen manga.)

(It somehow also dims the fun and variety of gintama and majorly makes shoyo ooc, like I said, seeing his character the way he has been given is without a doubt the one and only best way to view him and it's much more fulfilling)

Sorachi himself has joked about how this one man's confusing character can be mistaken as two different people due to their contrasting traits, but as explained in this panel as well,

in any media actually a character with MPD is often treated as if the person is two separate entities for a more easier understanding and mostly comic relief (in this instance as well in the 3-z segment). However it is still enforced that these oddly contrasting sides came from one singular brain, it is already enforced in the very same sentence of this dialogue in the panel shown above as well.

Sorachi already summarizes up his whole characters misconception in that dialogue for you 😭 Bro really wrapped it all up with an abrupt bang

it's just one singular man, who has multiple personality, or in this case just two personalities warring with each other that leads to the self sabotage hes doing rn in this panel😭😭😭

it is One man who has split his mind into many segments which have manifested to become two polar opposites of his mind, yet both are HIS thoughts,emotions and ideals.

To help provide an easier understanding,

The average human has many voices running in their minds, and are always contradicting one another like there are different personas living in our heads, however it is to a controlled level and we are able to distinguish these to a certain extent when making decisions and taking actions.

Multiple personality disorder stems from that same phenomena of the brain but multiplied by many many more folds due to psychological trauma, PTSD, and repression of emotions as a method to cope with said trauma

✯Yoshida shoyo is without a doubt an S tier character and villain as well

Hmmm not to be political or anything😭, but you're really undervaluing and undermining the issues of someone who's extremely mentally ill and deranged😟, and the fact such individuals need professional help to overcome their trauma and recover.

But then you're just twisting this problem into your own superficial convenience at the expense of an incredibly full-fledged character and a unique characterization. I truly think some media which has been as long-standing and entertaining as gintama should be appreciated at a straightforward and honest level.

Especially when the topic touches on mental health and trauma, trauma recovery. Gintama covers a lot of other topics like LGBTQ, beauty standards, Social outcasting, etc as well and I don't see us talking too much about it.

However I also think sorachi himself also could have dealt with the topics more extensively instead of glossing over in some places, still, this is mostly a comedy manga and is for shits and giggles, so I can't really expect a thorough run through of every topic covered. This can also be seen when he has many side characters that are loved but we still did not get enough screentime of time.

E.g. Katsura, Sakamoto, Nobume etc

Open your eyes and process the information you're receiving please🙄. Blatant disregard of the trauma here can come off as inconsiderate and insensitive, you're just treating him as two whole different people, like he's possessed or something, your honour.🤨

(Very derogatory to people affected by MPD by rejecting their inner turmoil as just another human being coming from them out of nowhere instead of addressing the complexities of the human brain that are still yet to be uncovered)

This isn't the 16th century where mental illness is treated like you've got a ghost in you or you've secretly been replaced by a clone.

This is NOT a yuji and Sukuna situation. Hes just one man, one soul, one mind, that mind is just broken into many pieces(personalities), because of his extreme suffering.

So please understand that okay just appreciate the mentally ill men representation smfh. I LOVE BROKEN TRAUMATISED MEN REPRESENTATION PLEASE

***IMPORTANT NOTE

TO CLARIFY multiple personality comes under dissociative disorders, considering how his life was, his mind coping with his trauma using this method makes the most sense

Of course trauma can cause many disorders like schizophrenia and what not, but this kind of like the apex of it

Makes sense given the amount of unimaginable horrors he has been put through. Therefore to put it simply he's completely torn within himself, but its just one source NOT a whole new other identity/man coming outta nowhere

And that same persona is DEFINITELY NOT something that shoyo himself cannot understand, he VERY WELL knows himself and all his different identities

(As shown when he clearly has his memories with all of his shoka sonjuku disciples even when he became utsuro) -> e.g. uses his past personification and sayings to taunt gintoki during a fight

He is completely aware of his nature, its just out of his control because of all the overwhelming psychological trauma (this leading to the reason on why he switched back to utsuro after his execution)

NOTE: MY ANALYSIS POST ON WHY SHOYO IS A VIRGIN ALSO COVERS THIS TOPIC TO AN EXTENT IT CAN HELP GET A BETTER UNDERSTANDING THATS ALL BYE BYE GO CHECK IT OUT

[sillystringpony]

Reflections on Rosemary:

experimenting with a psuedo-pop-art style (ben day dots yay!) for some angsty chalmskinn fanart, and a discussion about Rosemary Chalmers.

[TW: discussion of eating disorders]

I made this piece because I feel like I haven't really seen a lot of chalmskinn content that takes Shauna into account, which I guess makes sense since she isn't given all that many interactions with her dad. Anyway, I've always seen her delinquency as stemming from her mother's death: in my eyes, she's not a bad person, she's just a girl who misses her mother. I started wondering how that would play into the chalmskinn ship; I feel like she'd be fine with her dad's various flings and one-night-stands, but would recoil at any sign of her father moving on emotionally from Rosemary. I definitely want to explore how that might impact the dynamic between Seymour and Shauna a bit more in the future, especially since I've always been a huge fan of the new step-parent trying to connect with a hung up step-child trope (I really love Quibble Pants/Clear Sky because of this... if there are any bronies reading).

Her Father's Temper and Her Mother's Eyes, 2024.

no need to grip the pancake so hard girl it aint going anywhere

If I'm remembering correctly, Rosemary's character was first introduced in season 16 when the superintendent mentions his wife is very sick. There's then no real mention of her until season 23, in Bart Stops to Smell the Roosevelts, when she's pretty much confirmed dead, and Gary reflects on how he misses her (which was way more upsetting than it should be, fuck you, you funny yellow people). She's finally explicitly confirmed as dead in season 30.

Autism is as autism does, so I fixated in on these little tidbits and tried to fill in the gaps with my own headcanons. Around the time I was doing so, I was going through a really hard period with my own anorexia - I was experiencing a lot of potentially fatal symptoms and beneath the anorexic delusion, I was genuinely scared for myself. Because of that, I sort of subconsciously projected myself onto Rosemary; it's never explained how exactly she died, only that she was 'very sick'. Rather than take the more conventional route of headcanoning her as having fallen victim to a fundamentally physical illness, I decided to go the route of having her lose the struggle to anorexia nervosa.

At first, obviously, it was just a simple projection of my own issues and illness at the time. You know: I'm scared I'm going to die from this illness... I'm going to cope with these fears by exploring the lives of a person's loved ones after an eating-disorder-related death. It did kind of start to make sense to me, though: Gary Chalmers is a very traditionally masculine man, and I feel like the struggle of losing someone to a mental illness is something that would play with his character with more depth than simply losing her to physical illness. This, in part, came from seeing my own father (who admittedly reminds me of Gary) react so poorly to my own eating disorder: there is something very emotionally impactful about witnessing men who only have the capacity to understand mental illness as a non-physical, unmanifested ailment fight to understand why their loved one is fading away because of something that cannot be cured with surgery, or medicine, or physical therapy. Also, inpatient treatment isn't exactly cheap; so I feel like Chalmers' working an extra job to earn money for what was implied to be Rosemary's treatment checks out under my headcanon.

I haven't really thought much about the specific timeline of things, but a few months ago, I was writing a chalmskinn oneshot where the boys get drunk and wind up on Mount Springfield in the middle of the night (sadly unfinished): there's a moment where the two discuss the death of Rosemary that I think pretty much sums the details of my headcanon up:

“Doy,” sang Seymour: admittedly in slightly bad taste. "You know, you never said what it was. Oh- Hic… Let me guess. Was it, ya' know... The big C?” “No, no… Heart failure.” “What-? Wait, wait, wait… All those years ago, you said she was sick.” “She was sick, you… You… Stupid,” grumbled Gary. He collapsed backwards and next to Seymour with a resigned sigh. “She had anorexia.” “...Oh.” “Mmm… I- I paid for every single treatment I could, Seymour. Behavioural therapy, so, so many inpatient stays in the psychiatric ward, but no matter what she went through, she just kept getting worse. It was so scary- I, she- The woman I married was, she was disappearing right in front of me; a little more every day. I tried to get her to eat; I- I tried to stop her from throwing it up… God, it got physical, once: she was a small, small woman, but that day… She fought like a, a wild dog- Scraping, and kicking- Fuck, even biting, just to get herself free enough from me to vomit.” “Goodness. I- I had no idea.” “Pssht… Nobody did. She- she hid it so well, but behind closed doors,” Chalmers had to stop speaking for a moment. He swayed from side to side in silence; as if the rocking would stop the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. “She was dying… Sometimes I wish it was cancer. Well- No, not cancer, just- Something physical, something that could have been cured with treatment, or a pill, or surgery, or what-fucking-ever. But nooo, it had to be a disorder that me- Stupid fucking me- That I couldn’t understand. That I couldn’t help her with… Besides paying for her treatment.”

I'm currently just over two months into recovery for anorexia, and I'm doing so much better (not to be TMI, but I definitely will not miss the gastrointestinal bleeding and incontinence, haha). Anyway, I just wanted to half-dedicate a post to talking about Rosemary; I was really socially isolated when my symptoms were at my worst, and it was headcanons and projections like this that helped me feel a bit less alone, and at the end of the day, really got me through the struggle of fighting a disorder on my lonesome. I'd love to hear your guys' thoughts on this, or if you personally have any similar headcanons for other fictional characters.

[onesaltysir]

If you bring kids to restaurants I had better see you in hell

[gaysforbyler]

Rant post because you guys are my only friends, which is kind of embarrassing but the truth. You don’t need to read it i just wanted to get it out.

I hate complaining about my parents bc they’re actually the best parents in the world, but i think I’ve been trying so hard to put them in this perfect little box that i completely ignore how much they’ve fucked me up. So many adults in my life have bullied (emotionally abused?) me because of a mental disorder I have, and I’ve always left my parents off of that list because it really wasn’t that bad with them. They might have made a few offhanded comments, but it was definitely not on the same level at all. I would never classify them as abusive in any sense, but in doing so I ignore the fact that they hurt me in general. My dad just stood there while the “trusted” adults in my life made fun of me in front of dozens of people over and over again, and he did nothing to stop them. That hurts more than anything.

When i was thirteen my worst abuser came into my life. She was my coach, like most of the others, but i was old enough to where my parents didn’t have to watch over me. I went to practice alone, and she tormented me. She pulled me aside in front of my entire team, and scolded me for being disrespectful to her. She said that my actions were not the result of any mental disorder, because she was a psychologist and she would know best. (I wasn’t diagnosed with anything at the time. I thought i was fucking insane. I’m now diagnosed with selective mutism.) She threatened to kick me off the team if i didn’t fix it. I was scared shitless that she would go through with it, because I didn’t know how my parents would react. I thought they would blame me like they had before, so i spent the next year hiding what she did (and continued to do). I was so scared to go to practice that i nearly passed out every week when the time came around. Idk, i just feel like i should have been able to trust someone

I didn’t get diagnosed until i was fourteen. I wouldn’t have gotten diagnosed at all if my cousin hadn’t been diagnosed at the age of nine. It was too late for me. I watched her get better while I made no progress myself. In the past five years, I have only spent two in therapy, because they were too busy to find me a therapist. I can’t make friends, i can’t keep friends, i can’t get a job, i have breakdowns every time i go to the store, I’m wasting my entire life being scared of every human interaction, all because no one cared enough to figure out what the hell was wrong me. I’m never getting better. This is the rest of my life.

And i know i secluded myself from the age of eight. I used to spend all of my time alone as a kid, because it’s how i felt safest. I pushed my family away. But i still feel emotionally neglected. I can’t remember the last time i went to my parents with a problem. I don’t know if i ever have. Maybe that’s because of the anxiety, but i still feel like that’s their fault. I was a child. They could have pushed more, or done literally anything to research what was going on with me. That was their job, and now I’m facing the consequences

[stupidlittlespirit]

do u have any reigen and dimple hcs? I never rlly see anything abt them n its so sad💔💔

Hey anon, sorry this is so late! I've been out..... Socialising *shudder*

I know you probably mean Ekurei, but I got another ask about them so I'm gonna use this one as an excuse to talk about them both separately and then the ship in the other.

Everything below the cut! Reminder that these are just my own opinions. You can disagree, but do it on your own post.

TW: personality disorder discussion, bad parents, mental illness, suicide mention, vague kink mention.

Reigen:

Hold on tight. I feel so strongly about this little fucker.

♡ - I absolutely believe he has some form of personality disorder (and not just because I have one too hehe). Cluster B, most definitely: Possibly HPD or quiet BPD. He displays a lot of symptoms (need for attention/fame/recognition, belief he's 'meant for something', strong displays of emotion/regulation issues, depressive tendency, fear of abandonment, unstable relationships). I think it would explain a lot, personally.

♡ - Reigen has likely always struggled with himself as a person.  I think he would find it easier to pretend to be something/someone else, to project a false personality and use it to his advantage, than to reveal or examine how he truly feels. He never wants to be known too deeply by others.  Likely from experience in childhood/with parents/friends etc, he's found that opening up and allowing intimacy of the self offers too much of a chance that he might be betrayed. People are often cruel and they take advantage of those who expose themselves as vulnerable, and there's only so much of that that a person can take.  His parents probably showed no interest in his feelings for the most part and any time he expressed his concern about them, he’d be met with their rejection:  “Reigen, we don’t talk about things like that”, or “Not now, honey”, or “There are some things that you should keep to yourself.”  Never a word of guidance or helpful advice from them. Just frustration and ignorance, which results in him developing the uncanny ability to bury things so deeply that one might forget that they’re not normal to ignore. 

♡ - As above, Reigen has a terrible relationship with his parents thanks to an unstable childhood. I know it's canon that he has a sister who is also disapproving of his career, just like his mom and dad, and I can totally see some Golden Child vs Black Sheep tension going on there. He resents a lot of the attention maybe she got whereas he was always The Disappointment, even into adulthood, despite being quite successful eventually. I think he avoids contact with them as much as possible, and his parents only ever reach out to chastise him or finger-wag over something ('why aren't you married yet?' 'why are you still in this shitty job?' 'why can't you just be normal?' etc) .

♡ - Reigen absolutely falls apart in the relationship department. He's bi, but totally a virgin: Not for lack of trying necessarily, I think he desperately wants intimate connection but doesn't know how to go about it. He has a tendency to be genuinely quite insufferable because of the personality he projects. If he had the confidence/ability to be vulnerable and was more comfortable just being him then he'd probably have a lot more luck. He wants to show his true self but is so worried people will reject him (hi BPD!) that he's too afraid to do it, and too embarrassed about his fear to express that he needs advice. Reigen is always the guider, never the guided.

♡ - REIGEN IS GINGER. ALL OVER. NO ARGUMENTS. REDHEAD LOVER NATION RISE UP.

♡ - He totally has a fucked up perverted side. I don't think he's genuinely immoral with it (committing actual serious crimes), that would go against his beliefs, but he's definitely inclined to get a little 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 with it. Again, with the inability to be himself and general dysfunction around sexuality (especially as an adult virgin) I imagine he's very secretive about it. He's not one to talk freely about sex and is quite teenage boy-esque in his shyness about it. Guy also totally jerks off like crazy.

♡ - Back in his (younger) youth, Reigen would have been a habitual thrill seeker. A lack of self-preservation from a lifetime of not caring much if he lived or died: ambient suicidal idealisation. Probably still is, though less so nowadays what with the responsibility of Mob and with gaining a more stable life and sense of self through his business and friendships. At first, I think it would have been difficult for him to understand that drive, to pin down exactly what it was that he felt was missing in himself. It probably took more than a few attempts to figure it out and eventually, he’d come to realise that he enjoyed the risk of it all. The thrill of being in danger, the risk to his life, and even the potential of being caught, and then that would encourage feelings that had to have left him ashamed and frightened of himself.  Reigen wouldn't have known anyone else who felt the same way and wouldn't have put himself out there to find others, either.   He would have needed something to hit that spot and as he’d grown from an awkward teen to a difficult adult, he’d come to the uncomfortable realisation that living a regular life wasn't going to offer what he needed. Over time, he’d been forced to submit to that need, lest he become pent up. Bloody knuckles and bar fights (he loses, every time), risking employment by jumping from job to job (it is also NOT 'normal' to quit a stable job - even if you hate it - and risk it all on a fresh venture to be self-employed), and though drugs and alcohol can be too expensive to sustain, that wouldn't have stopped him from dabbling in such things in order to cope with the confusion for a bit.  Eventually leaving his teenage years, maybe around twenty one-ish, rather than picking up something on the legal side of risky like skydiving or solo caving, Reigen starts sneaking into places he isn't supposed to be. Going against the law in small ways oftentimes comes with the territory of thrill seeking (for him) and he’d never cared much for it anyway, so he’d battle his moral concerns for chasing the high of being the bad person he’d always been told (and convinced himself) he was. Be it a private function or a board meeting, Reigen learns to case out a joint, talk his way inside and get free room to roam in someone else's shoes for as long as he can.  I think it would have given him freedom from his shitty reality and if he broke the law in the process, that was a win-win for him. The achievement tasted even better if he pissed off authority figures, too.  He'd used his blagging talents to get free food if his cash flow was limited too, and no one would ever stop him. If you walk around like you own the place, rarely do people argue with you. The moment Reigen realised it was an easy game, he was in.  He probably matured out of it for the most part, but retained the skills (see: The infiltration of Claw) and used them to his advantage. I know a lot of people think he's just kind of falling upwards in terms of luck. I just like to get a little deep and dark with it lmao

♡ - Fast-paced by nature, constantly moving/talking/thinking, can't stop can't stop or else he'll have to listen to his brain, he'll have to think about all the bad stuff that lurks in the darkest corners. Obnoxious to hide the perceived inadequacy. 

♡ - He is totally a soft-hearted little shit deep down. You just have to peeeeeel away those complex layers and get your hands dirty to see that. He doesn't believe he's a good person, but he is.

whew okay, that's not all of my feelings but that's enough!

Moving on to Ekubo:

♡ - He and Yoshioka are bffs. He develops a bond with the guy (totally in the 'bad guys turned good club': I firmly like to believe that Yoshi is ex-yakuza) and they have a mutual agreement for Ekubo to use his body sometimes. Everything is consensual and Ekubo respects Yoshioka's autonomy.

♡ - Ekubo is, like Reigen, deep down a softie. He's very honest and loyal, and he has no problem being straightforward about stuff. He'll tell it like it is, without sugar coating the issues, and make sure you understand why he thinks that. I don't think he's the type to just leave it at that though: he'd give solutions and advice to fix the issue.

♡ - He loooooves to be a meanie to Reigen. They're both competitive by nature and butt heads a lot, but would go to the ends of the Earth for the guy.

♡ - Office pet. Office mascot. Loves it. Will never admit it.

♡ - When Mob eventually moves on from Spirits and Such, Ekubo starts spending most of his time with Reigen. Mob wants independence and the freedom to be more grown-up, and he'd specifically instruct him to keep watch of his mentor and make sure he's doing okay. Not to say Ekubo wouldn't ever hang out with Mob, but when you're off to college and stuff and exploring the world through that maturing lens, the boy probably won't want to be supervised constantly.

♡ - Ekubo will never admit that he's supporting Reigen and Reigen would never allow him too, but they both like each other's company. Yoshioka also joins them sometimes.

♡ - Ekubo has a lot of respect for Serizawa. He appreciates his psychic ability, and also his resilience in life. He helps Seri with his homework too hehe.

♡ - I like to imagine that Ekubo has been dead a while. He doesn't remember much of his original life, but he wasn't the best person in it. Not evil, just.... Lost in a similar way to Reigen. He has, however, got significantly more lived experience than all of the others in the office combined. He might have died a long time ago, but possessing people isn't new to him and he'd have to have lived through others at times. He's learnt a lot about people and life and death and all the shit in between, and it makes him an invaluable asset in the form of counsel for the others.

♡ - Longs for genuine interpersonal connection. In a human vessel, verrrrry touch starved.

♡ - Yoshioka has a silver tooth and you can pry that idea from my cold, dead hands.

♡ - Worship kink.

[veetyuh]

Vent post to ramble about intersex issues.

Honestly I'm just now starting to feel intersex on an emotional level, despite having known for years. It has taken so much time to start working through the shame and sense of powerlessness built up over a decade, because the medical system is so fucking violent toward intersex people for NO reason.

Beyond forced "corrective" surgery — that's the big one everyone is aware of. Allowing parents to force their newborn through a sex change. Literally doing the hyperbolic conservative's worst nightmare about trans people and everyone's just fucking fine with it. But aside from that.

Since I was a sweaty, awkward teen with a five o'clock shadow, I've been told, "FEMALE‼️ DEFECTIVE FEMALE‼️ YOU WANT SURGERY FOR BABY⁉️ 👶 WE WILL GIVE YOU SURGERY FOR BABY, AND MAYBE HORMONES TO MAKE YOU LESS MANISH‼️"

I've told my doctor, my parents, any adult who asked, point blank, I never want children and would rather drink bleach than incubate one. But it's always, "You're still young, you might want that option in the future." As if I'm not enthralled with my infertility, as if pregnancy is the end goal of every female, as if I'm female to begin with.

And the shame of being classed as a disorder. One that so few doctors have seen that specialists have treated me like a lab experiment, and one even asked me to induce menstruation and come in while I'm bleeding so he can poke around. AFTER admitting that he didn't know what was going on down there. Just. "I'll have to refer you to a different specialist, but can you come in while you're bleeding so I can see what happens between your legs when there's ✨blood✨ involved?"

Or staring at the M/F boxes on ANY intake form, trying to decide which one is less humiliating. What kind of comedic relief do I want to be perceived as: a femboy who is uncommitted to the aesthetic, or a comedically masc woman like Doris from Shrek? I can count the number of times I've seen "other" or "intersex" listed as an option on one hand. And I can't describe the relief of being able to check it. It's beyond words, just to be fucking acknowledged — to have any sort of implication that my existence isn't supposed to be something else, and that my natural state is not fucked-up, or a failure.

But why is it okay for a doctor to push gender "correction" onto any intersex person, minors included, then turn around and act like trans healthcare is such a big fucking deal?? It's okay to shove progesterone into my hands despite me NOT FUCKING WANTING IT, but god forbid any transfemme person asks for it. Moreover, god forbid I ask for top surgery. It's fine for them to change my sex on my behalf, so long as fertility is the end goal: but if I want to modify my body on my own terms, then it's, "Are you sure??? Are you SURRRRE about that???"

God I HATE the medical system, I hate the insistence on a false two sex binary, and I hate troglodyte conservatives who harp on about middle school biology because they're mentally stunted and permanently at the age of 12 — when they're the same ones that bullied me in middle school so they should KNOW intersex people exist.

I miss being pre-pubescent, going into the doctor's office and knowing that my pediatrician had my best interest at heart. Even if it was shots, or gross medicine, or whatever, I knew that it was for healing me, and I could at least trust that. Now I go into a doctor's office and it feels like a fucking warzone, fight-or-flight is engaged, and I can't help but question their intent.

But the few moments when I do feel intersex? When I don't feel like a defective perisex person? It's beyond description. Being able to have a box to check off. Seeing descriptions of intersex people in history, and knowing that we used to have a place in society. When shame has been beaten into you, having it removed even for a second is a joy beyond words. 🥲

[lanaevyssmoved]

i hope this doesn't come across as an attack, i'm genuinely just curious. on the one hand you say that a fictional character and headcanons for that character or actions/attractions towards that character is never cause for being mean to anyone, but also that people who headcanon astarion to be mentally young and still fuck him are weirdos. i just don't see how it's less 'problematic' to say that you find astarion sexier as an unhealed abuse victim/abuser so you're going to go the ascendant route than it is to say you find astarion sexier when he's mentally underage. both of those things are bad in that they'd be shitty to do to real people, but in the context of fiction i don't understand how one is fine and the other is weird or evil.

for what it's worth i agree with your astarion age opinions! i absolutely think it is weird to be attracted to someone you view as a child! it just feels incongruous with your other takes on fiction.

i think people romancing and sleeping with a character they are viewing as a child/teenager is strange, that's all. i didn't even say 'don't do this!' i just said it's "weird and sus", because i want to help people realise how they are sounding to others, who may instinctively judge them and possibly attack them. at the end of the day, i can't stop people for going against d&d lore for their own preferred headcanon, but what if they're misunderstanding? what if they don't know lore? what if they're just explaining themselves poorly? what if they're just not aware they're making themselves sound this way?

i don't put this on the same level as telling someone they are a terrible person because they say, ascend astarion or keep astarion as a spawn, since we're talking about him, and saying "bit weird you wanna sleep with someone you think is akin to a child". one of these could have dangerous connotations to real life, it could genuinely paint someone has a dangerous person.

i am victim of a romantic relationship where someone picked me because of my vulnerability. to share a bit about myself, i have abusive parents who purposely sheltered me from the world to control me. they did not even allow me to get a job, or to go out and meet people. i was told, from a very young age, that the world will hurt me and they won't understand me (because of disorders i have) and they will keep me safe. they never want me to leave. and thus i have mentally aged 'slower' than i should have. i shan't say more than that, but this person i met, and became aware of this, immediately sought a romantic relationship with me, which led to them using my lack of experience in life and lack of know to also control me, and continue to infantilise me and keep me as 'young' as they could. control my entire life, my money, what i do, where i go, what i dress, everything about me. i know how terrifying it is to be chosen by someone because of 'mental immature', being 'under developed'.

when i think of this, and think of people who choose astarion while viewing him the same way- do you know what i think? "do you realise how much of an abuser you sound like?" you are those people who choose someone due to how easy it would be to abuse them. so yes, i worry these people just aren't aware of how dangerous they sound. i word it like 'weird' and 'sus' because i would never target them with such harsh and powerful language, but i think that alone is enough to make someone think about it, maybe enough to realise they need to change how they talk about astarion, or adjust their pov.

i've had friends come to me in tears because someone attacked them viciously for a choice they made in the game, a choice available to everyone, a choice there because you are allowed to pick it. that they are legit a bad person to their core because they picked something in a damn game. this is no where near the same to me as wanting a sexual relationship with someone you think is mentally underdeveloped. they cannot be compared.

i hope this all makes sense and i didn't miss one of your points, admittedly i don't want to look at this any longer.

[ricciardosgirl]

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖚𝖓𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖉 𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖑𝖉.

the story of the

neglected 𝖉𝖔𝖛𝖊.

trigger warnings ; mention of eating disorder , mental breakdown.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

the beginning of the end.

venetia catton. the unloved and the neglected love child of the catton family. it's always felix this — felix that . . but what about her? she loves her brother of course — but every time she hears her mother call out for him she simply wants to mutilate him. it should be . . . her.

the jealousy started out as a child — before she even knew how to hate. she wouldn't necessarily call it hate , she prefers loathing. she has always yearned for the attention of her stuck up parents . . but never got the same attention as felix. felix would get an expensive toy , whilst venetia would get whatever toy felix didn't want to play with anymore wrapped in a small gift box.

saltburn isn't the same for venetia as it is for felix. felix can leave anytime he wants — but she's trapped in the mansion like rapunzel. oh how she yearns to get a glimpse of the outside world , to know what it feels like to have real friends - to know what it's like to go to school normally.

she was never smart enough to make it into oxford like felix — she could go public but that wouldn't look good at family gatherings . . ( so elsbeth says. )

she wanted anything — one ounce of attention just to prove that her family still knows she exists. she's a background character of her own story. that's when it all started.

she never wanted to harm herself , she never wanted to be prettier — she already is. she never wanted to be skinnier . . she already is. all she wanted was some pity. for someone to notice - but when they did . . they didn't even care. her parents never thought to help her , they only thought to ignore it until the problem went away.

but the problem never did go away. it just got worse and worse each day , festering within her this terrible feeling. she couldn't even put it into words. she'd sit alone in her big queen sized bed — covers draped around her naked frame as she just . . sat there. staring at the wall like some mental patient.

no one ever came to check up on her. hell , the maids were more like family figures than her own parents. at least they cared enough to feed her and make sure she doesn't rot away in her room.

she couldn't take it anymore , she practically stopped talking to everyone , including felix. until one day . . when he randomly decided that he gave a fuck.

she hadn't ate a thing that day , never even came down to breakfast , which is unusual for her. she'd come down the stairs and reluctantly stare at her plate until the rest of the family were done eating but today . . she just couldn't do it.

there was a knock at the door , and there stood the favorite child felix. a plate of a full english breakfast. " over easy eggs , some wine. " he said - sifting over towards her bedside. she's just . . there.

" we missed you at breakfast. " reluctantly , he sat the plate down on her bedside table. " yeah ? " she murmured , she knew that was a white lie. she bets that no one even noticed she was gone until duncan said something.

" why are you doing this? " he finds a place next to her , sitting down. " doing what ? " eyes sway — head held low. " you know . . "

" actually i don't felix. " finally , she looks at him. " what am i doing so wrong right now ? " eyes well into tears , mouth quivering. " answer me that felix. " she's holding back a sob . . felix stays quiet. " answer me! " she pushes his shoulder , now getting a reaction out of felix.

" why are you being so fucking dramatic? " he stands up , long hands on hips , he moves towards the door. she felt like she was directly shot in the heart. she lets out a loud sob , breaking down with her hands covering her distraught face.

felix leaves , leaving her a sobbing mess. she wanted to crawl into the nearest grave — lie there until the maggots crawl deep into her mouth. she's uncontrollably weeping like a lost child. she throws the plate along with all the food on the floor , shattering the plate.

felix went on with his day , while venetia stayed in her room . . barely moving an inch.

she didn't show for lunch or dinner , but this time . . no one even bothered to check on her.

[thisisthinprivilege]

Submitted anonymously

My mom is fat. I am fat. Disclosure, though, I'm a small fat, and my weight would be considered pretty average if I was taller. So I still have some privilege, since I fit into "straight" sizes and am only a bit overweight. 

Anyway, I've dealt with a lot of shit for being overweight, mostly from my also overweight mom. She is, I guess, a small fat too. She's short, too. But she can fit into seats and whatnot and is nowhere near enormous. Actually, she's pretty small in size. 

Well, my mother is absolutely mentally ill. She encourages starving yourself, talks about her bulimic and anorexic tendencies as a teenager as if it was no big deal, and when I tell her she had (has?) an eating disorder, she denies it. VEHEMENTLY. And she agrees that her relationship with food is unhealthy, but still denies her having an eating disorder. She hardly eats.

Well, I recently got into a huge fight with her because she said, and I quote, "I don't like fat people."

I got really angry and asked her why she hates fat people if she herself is overweight. And then I told her that I'm pretty big myself and that she was pretty much insulting me.

Then she starting talking about how all fat people are "fat pigs" and that they ALL eat too much, ALL don't exercise, etc. I asked her why she's overweight if she hardly eats, and she didn't respond. 

This is the same mom who constantly tells me if I lose weight I'll be liked more, have boys like me, look better in clothes, be prettier, be worth more, etc. A few years back I tried to starve myself, and when she found out, instead of being upset that I was potentially developing an eating disorder, she told me "if you're going to starve you need to eat at least ONE thing a day to get your nutrients."

LIKE, WHAT THE FUCK? She should have been telling me that I was beautiful and perfect the way I was, but instead she was telling me to basically starve save for one snack a day. She tells me people don't typically like fat people, etc, and then denies that she ever says anything to me about my weight when I bring it up to her.

When I was, like 10, FUCKING TEN, she told me I was fat, point-blank, to my face. I was only 90 pounds.

She constantly makes comments about my thick legs, and asks me if I want to look more like my skinny friends. When I say I don't care, she tells me that I actually do care. Because EVERYONE who's overweight just wants dreadfully to be thin, apparently. 

We had a HUGE fight, and I was crying and telling her she was indecent and shouldn't judge people based off of their bodies, and she spewed some bullshit about how people like to be around "healthy" people and not fat people. 

Every time she wants to make me want to lose weight, she tells me boys like skinny girls and I will finally "be noticed" once I lose weight. When I tell her I don't care about appeasing shallow fuckboys, she doesn't believe me and says that all teenage girls like boys and want boys to be all over them. Okay, lol. Sure. "If you ever want a boyfriend and want to have fun in high school, you need to lose weight. Sorry, but boys like skinny girls."

Hm. Okay. 

So, encourage me to have an eating disorder, insult me, tell me I'm not worth enough if I'm not thin. I really don't understand. She's overweight herself, and she's abusive to me. She was when I was very young too, but I didn't realize how unhealthy it was until recently. She hates that I'm a fat activist and thinks I'm going to get my "ass kicked" one day for supporting basic human decency. Hm. 

Thin privilege is not having ALREADY FAT PEOPLE reprimand you for your natural body type.

Thin privilege is not being insulted and abused by parents for their body.