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#We?
leosparkflame · 1 month
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Phil: We need to get a champagne glass and put it on there. Dan: We?
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Aziraphale: Our car
Crowley: We don't have a car.
THIS.
THIS HAS THE SAME ENERGY.
SPOT THE DIFFERENCE LEVEL IMPOSSIBLE.
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husband-steve-cortez · 6 months
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Gil: What if we had a kid together
Ryder: I'm 22 I should be at the club
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i hope you enjoyed my presentation about the twin towers also we should rebuild them just for funsies so we can play real life angry birds with them again
No, we shouldn’t.
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eel-divad · 9 months
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Hello, good to see you again! What's going on?-
I have no ide- ᴅᴜᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏʀɪɢɪɴᴀʟ ᴜɴɪᴠᴇʀsᴇ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴀ ᴇʀʀᴏʀ. ᴡᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴛʀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ғɪx ᴛʜɪs ɪssᴜᴇ.
ᴛʜɪs ɪs ʙᴏᴛʜ ғᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴀғᴇᴛʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴅs
Bitch tf-
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reactionpicarchive · 2 years
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The adventures of the ninja
Chapter 4
Inside the ninja nomicon
As I opened my eyes,
I found myself in a familiar place. It’s was the village where I defeated the dragon in my dream.
But the village was now in shambles like an abounded village…
Well… it’s a abounded village now. All the Minka’s where ripped apart,store’s windows where all broken, everything was all destroyed.
“I guess this a sequel of my dream.” I thought to myself. While wondering around holding my ninja mask.
I felt a kunai (kunai (plural kunai) A Japanese tool and weapon, possibly derived from the masonry trowel, used as a weapon by ninja or samurai.) crossed behind my cheek leaving a little scar.
I looked behind me and saw a man with a mask that looked like the ninja mask that I held in my hands and a red bandanna tied in his head and he was wearing something like a ninja outfit.
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Then the ninja guy attack me
The ninja dude punched me and kicked me very bad.
All I could do was run.
But this was different compared to the dragon. With the dragon I managed to outrun him a bit. But the ninja guy caught up to me sometimes and beat me up pretty bad.
Then I saw a nearby bush. This gave me a idea. That might distract him for a while.
So I began to run in circles very fast.
After the 16th circle I ran out of the circle and hid in the nearby bush. With the ninja mask in my hand.
But I knew that the ninja guy wasn’t going to be distracted for long. I also knew that I needed to think of something before I get killed.
While I was thinking I looked at the ninja mask in my hand. Then I thought about a stupid plan.
“I could wear this mask and make that guy think that I’m a ninja like him and then I’ll find his weak spot then attack him with it.I know it’s a stupid plan but it couldn’t hurt to try.” I thought to myself.
Kunoichi outfit. ( kunoichi is a Japanese cant term for "woman"In popular culture, it is often used for female ninja or practitioner of ninjutsu (ninpo). The term was largely popularized by novelist Futaro Yamada in his novel Ninpō Hakkenden in 1964.Although kunoichi have appeared in numerous creative works, including novels, TV dramas, movies, and manga, Mie University historians have concluded that there are no historical records of female ninja performing reconnaissance and subversive activities in the same manner as their male counterparts. However, the late 17th century ninja handbook Bansenshukai describes a technique called kunoichi-no-jutsu (“the ninjutsu of a woman") in which a woman is used for infiltration and information gathering, which Seiko Fujita considers evidence of female ninja activity)
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Then the ninja guy found me and it seems that even if I wear this kunoichi outfit he still recognizes me.
But then when he tried to attack me again. I finally was able to dodge his attack.
After I dodged his attack. I felt something heavy in my back when I reached with my hand to see what it was a katana.(A katana is a Japanese sword characterized by a curved, single-edged blade with a circular or squared guard and long grip to accommodate two hands. Developed later than the tachi, it was used by samurai in feudal Japan and worn with the edge facing upward. Since the Muromachi period, many old tachi were cut from the root and shortened, and the blade at the root was crushed and converted into katana.The official term for katana in Japan is uchigatana and the term katana often refers to single-edged swords from around the world.)
It wasn’t the only weapon in the suit there was weapons like…
A shuriken (shuriken (is a hidden hand blade") is a Japanese concealed weapon that was used as a hidden dagger or metsubushi to distract or misdirect. Five types of shuriken.Edo period shuriken in Odawara Castle Museum, Japan. They are also known as throwing stars, or ninja stars, although they were originally designed in many different shapes. The major varieties of shuriken are the bō shuriken (stick shuriken) and the hira shuriken (flat shuriken) or shaken (wheel shuriken, also read as kurumaken).Shuriken were supplementary weapons to the sword or various other weapons in a samurai's arsenal, although they often had an important tactical effect in battle.[better source needed] The art of wielding the shuriken is known as shurikenjutsu and was taught as a minor part of the martial arts curriculum of many famous schools, such as Yagyū Shinkage-ryū, Tenshin Shōden Katori Shintō-ryū, Ittō-ryū, Kukishin-ryū, and Togakure-ryū.)
The Japanese war fan, or tessen (tessen, lit. '"iron fan"'), is a weaponized Japanese hand fan designed for use in warfare. Several types of war fans were used by the samurai class of feudal Japan and each had a different look and purpose.
And a sai (The sai (lit. 'Hairpin'; lit. 'Iron Ruler') is a traditional Okinawan stabbing weapon used for stabbing and striking. It is most famously used in ninjutsu and kobudo, but also in southern Chinese martial arts. The basic form of the weapon is that of a sharp metal prong with two curved sideprongs (yoku) projecting from the handle (tsuka). There are many different types of sai with varying prongs for trapping and blocking.)
And many more cool weapons like these.
But how much I tried I just wasn’t able to defeat the ninja dude. In the end I was pinned against the wall wounded and scars.
Just as I thought I was done, I was… “ fine?” I asked shock after the red beam hit me. all my wounds and scars were gone like it was never existed.
Then the ninja guy lend me his hand and asked
“ Do you need a hand?”
“No I don’t need help getting up by ninja’s who tried to kill.” I said to the ninja dude sarcastically.
The ninja dude seemed to be annoyed by my answer. “I think we got on the wrong foot.” Said ninja dude.
“You think!” I scoffed at the ninja.
He just ignore my comment and began to introduce himself.
“I’m first ninja of Norrisvile.”said the ninja guy.
My anger suddenly turned to shock. “Was this guy really the first ninja” I thought to myself.
Soon my head was filled with tons of questions.
Then I said “I don’t believe you.”
“It’s is true miss Ami whether you believe it or not.” Said the ninja guy with a serious face.
Then I felt my spine shivering. “How do you know my name?!” I asked scared and quickly.
The man called Akio stayed silent for a moment then said “We been watching over you ever since you were little.” Said the first ninja
“We?” I asked curiously.
“You’ll meet them soon but not today.” Said the first ninja trying to avoid the subject. “Have any other questions?” Asked the first ninja.
I thought about what I could ask the ninja dude before then I realized something. “Where am I? Since I been beaten up by you several times is pretty clear that this isn’t a dream.”
The ninja just nodded and said “You’re right this isn’t a dream. Your inside the ninja nomicon.”
“I’m sorry ninja what now?” I asked confused.
“The ninja nomicon the knowledge of every ninja including myself hold inside this book.”Akio said calmly
Then I remembered the book that came with the mysterious package. “Was that the ninja nomicon?” I mumbled.
The ninja heard me and nodded his head “Any other questions?” Asked The first ninja.
I thought about it more then I remembered my dream.
“Was my dream had to do with any of this?” I asked
First ninja nodded again saying “They wanted to test how sharp you were.”
“They? Who are they? Are you talking about the people that you were watching over me?” I asked
The ninja just stood silent I guess he didn’t want me to know those people yet. So I asked my next question
“Why did you attack me?” I asked changing the subject.
“I wanted to test you too” I said to The ninja before me
“Test me for what?” I asked curiously
“For to be the next ninja.” Said Akio sternly
“And I failed miserably by not defeating you haven’t I so I can’t be the ninja.” I said disappointed in my self. Because the truth was when I heard about the ninja history I wanted became a ninja that what got me hooked in to Japanese culture in the first place. But now I can’t be the ninja all my hope was gone until…
“Who said you wouldn’t be next ninja just because you couldn’t beat me?” I asked the first ninja
“But then why did you and the others test me if you guys were going to make me the ninja?” I asked confused and curious
“We wanted see what you were lacking so we could train you accordingly” answered First ninja
“So I could still be the ninja even tho I couldn’t defeat you?” I asked First ninja
“Of course there are some rules if you’re willing to follow them like rule number 1 do not reveal your identity to anyone no matter how close you guys are.” Said the first Ninja with a stern look but then he said “But if you do not want be the ninja you could give the mask and then the ninja nomicon would go somewhere else to find a ninja and you could pretend this never happened.”
I looked at my hands thinking was I really up for the challenge.
Then I looked at The first ninja and said “When does my training began?” I asked with determination in my eyes.
The first ninja smirked.
That is how my training with the first ninja began.
End of chapter
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taketwoinink · 2 years
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It's always an adventure meeting new people. I tend to be very quiet at first but when I started talking, I talk. And then I get worried that I'm gonna say something stupid and bug everyone because I just won't shut up!
The counter argument is welp, I've always been like this, why smother myself? either they like me or they don't, it's best to just be genuine so they'll be liking me and not a mask I'm wearing
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jessepinwheel · 4 months
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I love it when people use "shrimp" to mean "beyond the human range". like "shrimp colors" but applied to other things. "shrimp emotions" "shrimp sounds" "shrimp morality", as if shrimp are living some kind of transcendent existence that humans can never comprehend
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For those of you who weren’t able to get 100% of the total solar eclipse today… I gotchu <3
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stargoyle · 17 days
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"This person has a secret onlyfans!" "This artist does NSFW commissions!" "This author writes porn on the side!" I cannot begin to tell you how swag and awesome that is.
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sunbentshadows · 2 months
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Hey all, you know how internet searches suck now? When the results are awful, full-of-AI, death-of-the-internet levels of bad?
Start appending date constraints to your searches - "before:2023".
My results have gone from 90% AI bullshit to ~60% usable - which frankly at this point is a huge improvement.
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miniaturecatmentality · 2 months
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guys I just found the greatest video on the internet
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necromimetics · 6 months
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can’t stop thinking about my friend’s cishet partner who said last night that he doesn’t think anyone is the same gender. god-tier take.
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theriverbeyond · 7 months
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i must not get takeout. takeout is the wallet-killer. takeout is the little-death that brings total obliteration. i will face the kitchen, fridge, and pantry. i will make choices about what to cook and then execute them. when hunger is gone there will be nothing. only i will remain.
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yeehawpim · 6 months
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Edit: school pt 2
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titleofpersonage-p01 · 2 months
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