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[idrillingoil]

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[reiderwriter]

Hating You Is The Easiest Thing I Can Do

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Summary: When your boss pulls your case out from under you and gives it right to the BAU, you're pissed. You're even more pissed when Doctor Spencer Reid suggests you can't do your job properly. After a week in his company, you decide to give him a piece of your mind

Warnings: Day One of Kinktober - Hate Sex, enemies to lovers, dom/sub, Mean!Dom!Spencer, Brat!Reader, spanking, degradation, spanking, spit kink, sir kink, vaginal fingering, slight creampie, Reader's boss is an asshole, typical office misogyny. Spencer is also an asshole, but that's just because he's a dumbass.

A/N: Special thank you to @reidmotif and @mrs-dr-reid for proofreading this one for me! I wrote this when on a major Pride and Prejudice moment, which is why there's a whole lot of plot before the sex. I hope you like the build-up just as much as the smut! <3 If you like it, don't forget to leave a like, reply, or reblog and tell me your thoughts! ((just as a reminder, apart for Sundays and Tuesdays, I'll be posting all the kinktober fics on AO3 exclusively, so check out my writing there - reiderwriter))

My requests are also back open now, so if you like my writing and have an idea, check out my request guidelines and drop me a message in my inbox! You can find the rest of my masterlist here :)

To say you were angry was an understatement. You were seething, the anger bubbling up inside of you and threatening to lash out at anyone who so much as crossed your path as you made your way down the crappy motel corridor. You'd only known Spencer Reid a week, but you could think of no one you despised more.

The FBI had always been a boys' club, you knew that. There were some goddamn strong women in your field office, of course, but you were outnumbered 10 to 1. Which was why you were so determined to do well on the first case assigned to you as lead Agent. The first week of the case, you'd made sure you were thorough. A body had been found in the park by a jogger, and you darted to the crime scene the moment you got the call. A woman in her early twenties, like you, had been raped, tortured, and then dumped here, her body posed in a demeaning way to make it seem as if she were performing a sexual act. Your entire body shuddered at the sight, but you couldn't let your coworkers see you weak so you powered through. Collecting evidence, getting an ID on the victim, interviewing potential witnesses, and yes, even breaking the news to the poor girl's family, you had been so attentive to every detail of the case and you felt you were making progress, your boss delivered a humbling blow.

"Another body has been discovered. I've invited the Behavioural Analysis Unit in from Quantico because you're in over your head." He'd told you, not even looking up at you from the file he was reading on his desk.

"What? I wasn't told about another body, why wasn't I notified?"

"I didn't think you needed to know, now that the BAU is coming in."

"So I'm off the case? That's it?"

"No, I want you to assist them in their investigation. Tell them everything you've gathered so far, get them situated in the office as best you can."

"Get them coffee when they want it? Rub their feet if they ask for it? This is bullshit, I was making progress, if you'd only have given me more time-"

"Agent, I suggest you walk out of this office right now and get your PMSing under control before I have to suspend you from fieldwork." You pressed your nails further into the beds on your palms then and bit back your tongue from replying, simply giving a terse nod and exiting the office.

It wasn't even an hour later before the new team arrived, and you offered a tense smile and welcome as you got them set up in their own office. The Unit Chief didn't seem too bad, but Aaron Hotchner couldn't exactly be described as the most welcoming of people, and you felt an instant camaraderie with JJ, the other agent who'd come into the office with him. There were more agents apparently, but they'd gone out into the field to check out the new victim and reinterview the family, something you weren't exactly happy about. But, if you were going to be their little bitch for the next week, you were at least thankful they were tolerable and polite.

"So here's everything I've got so far. I've been pretty thorough in my interrogations of potential witnesses, and there are no CCTV cameras in the general vicinity of the dump sites, so I don't think you'll find anything else there that'll aid in your profile."

" If you'd have been thorough you'd have found this though, right?" A new voice popped up from the door, and you felt yourself tense up under the sudden accusation. Looking up you saw he was holding up his phone, a picture of a strange marking on a tree lighting up the screen.

"Excuse me?"

"This was left on a tree roughly thirty feet from the first dump site. I called Rossi and Morgan and they found a similar marking near the second victim. It's a Mesopotamian symbol relating to the worship of prostitutes and sex workers to promote fertility." He spoke plainly, but all you could hear was the condescension in his tone, and your blood boiled with rage.

" Agent Y/L/N, I'm sorry about him, this is Doctor Spencer Reid, he's another member of our team." JJ introduced the man, sending him a warning glance, as if letting him know that he hadn't just put his foot in his mouth directly.

You looked at the man then, really focusing on him now instead of the pictures, and almost cursed out loud again. He was a jerk, but fuck was he attractive. Tousled hair, dark eyes, and a perfectly sculpted jaw, it was as if he were sent from hell directly to piss you off and tempt you. You pushed the attraction aside for the minute then, choosing to be the bigger person and introduce yourself.

"I'm Agent Y/N Y/L/N. And I'm sorry that I'm not an expert on Mesopotamian prostitutes, but I guess that's probably your specialty, right, Doctor?" You held out your hand for him to shake, but he just looked down at it.

"If you're referring to my doctorate, I actually didn't study classic civilizations. I hold PhDs in Math, Chemistry, and Engineering and additional BAs in Psychology, Philosophy, and Sociology. And I don't do handshakes." He glanced straight past you after that, walking back over to Hotch and filling him in on other things you must've overlooked during your brief time working the case.

You glared at his back, finally letting your hand drop to your side again as you let out an angry chuckle.

"Don't take it personally, Spencer is just… He’s He's not great with people. He'll warm up to you." JJ put a reassuring arm on your shoulder and you nodded. But inside you knew there was not one thing the man could do to reverse the bad opinion of him you'd just gained.

–X–

After the initial anger of having the case seeped out from beneath you wore off, you actually began enjoying your time with the BAU. You hadn't put much thought into profiling before, it usually being so far off your radar while you were working in the field office but you were actually coming to enjoy how they worked, and you'd learned a lot.

Your relationship with Spencer, however, only degraded.

Your hatred had reignited the moment you'd been joined by the rest of the BAU Team. Your boss has finally come down to greet them, and, almost as if making you pay for your earlier comments, had genuinely sent you on a coffee run for them. You could deal with the fact that the man had the most annoyingly complicated coffee order you'd ever heard of in the Bureau, but what you couldn't forgive were the sly comments you walked in on when you returned.

"Come on, Reid. That Agent is easy on the eyes, you should talk to her, get you a slice of that." You'd been introduced to Derek Morgan earlier and you'd instantly pegged him as a flirt, so this wasn't exactly shocking to you. What was a bit surprising was the other man's reply.

"If she's attractive I hadn't noticed. I've been too busy trying to clear up her mess with this case."

You walked in the door then, coffees in hand, and slammed his drink down on the table for him. You handed Morgan to him, double-checking that you'd got both of their orders right before shooting another glare at the man and walking away to find the rest of the team.

But not before hearing Morgan chastise Reid in another whisper: "God man, you gotta be nicer to the kid…"

To say that your working relationship had soured totally after your two personal encounters with the man was simply an untruth. You didn't have a working relationship, you had a working rivalry.

From then on, you'd slyly interrupt the man when he was speaking, telling him to cut his genius rambles in half, that you didn't have all day to sit around and wait for him to stutter his way through his theory while there was a murderer on the loose.

He didn't hold back either, constantly asking you questions he knew you didn't know the answers to, just to smile slyly down at you and make you admit that you weren't as good as him. It was getting so detrimental to the office atmosphere that you had to be genuinely separated after only three days, Hotchner bringing you into the field with him on multiple occasions and forcing Reid to stay behind with JJ to work on a geographical profile.

You'd been with Hotchner at a family interview, working with him to gain details of the second victim's actions and whereabouts leading up to her murder to establish a timeline when you got a call.

Excusing yourself from the room, you quickly picked up the call.

"This is Agent Y/L/N."

"Hotch isn't picking up his phone." That was all the explanation you got from the man on the other side of the phone, his voice instantly grating.

"Yes, I'd assume he isn't, Doctor Reid, because we are currently interviewing a bereaved mother and father and he put his phone on silent. Is there something you need?"

"I need to talk to Hotch."

"Well, you called me. What do you need?" You heard him breathe out a frustrated sigh on the other side of the line, and you rolled your eyes, slightly enjoying being this stubborn and getting under his skin.

"Just tell him we're ready to give the profile, okay?" He hung on you after that and you cursed him down the line, receiving nothing back but the empty beeps of the dial tone.

–X–

It didn't take long after delivering the profile to get your guy, but as he hadn't been in the middle of committing any felonies when you picked him up, you'd had to spend a few days in the interrogation rooms.

Hotch had taken a crack at him and gotten nowhere, and so had Rossi and Emily and Morgan. JJ had been the one to make the arrest, so she went in last and still came out with nothing much. He hadn't layered up yet, as they'd suspected he wouldn't, too egotistical to allow anyone else into the room that he thought he was going to talk himself out of.

"We're getting nowhere with this, Hotch. I think I have an idea that could get him to start talking." Reid said as you all stared at the man through the one-way glass.

"What, you think you can charge in there and get him to talk?" It was petty, but it'd been a stressful week, and he was used to this flow of conversation between the two of you.

"No, you are. Hotch, she fits his type, she's attractive, same build and coloring as the previous two victims. I think it'd work." You scoffed at his suggestion.

"Oh so now you think I'm attractive? I thought you hadn't noticed because you were, what, too busy cleaning up my mess?" You crossed your arms as he gave you an incredulous look, and you realized that he didn't think you'd heard him.

"Spencer's right, Y/N." Hotch nodded, looking between the two of you to see if he needed to pull you apart to keep you from fighting or to keep you from jumping each other. You personally weren't sure which you'd like most at that point, cursing yourself as you let your eyes trail down his body.

"It's going to excite him having you so close, you should pop a few of those buttons, too," Reid suggested looking down at your chest as you scoffed and crossed your arms.

"Oh you'd really like that," you mumbled under your breath, but a swift look from Hotch had you shutting your mouth again as he began to brief you.

Going in you felt a surge of pettiness seep through you. You were going to nail this guy, get him to talk about every little nasty thing he did to those girls, and prove to your boss that you could do this when every member of the BAU had tried and failed. But a small, dim, and annoying reminder at the back of your head whispered in your ear that you'd be pleasing Spencer then as well. Proving him right. You weren't sure if you wanted to succeed to hear him or your boss say "good job" to you after you finally succeeded, but when you imagined it with him, he was a whole lot closer, right in your ear, body pressed against yours.

You focused on your anger over your attraction and pushed into the room, ready to stare down a monster and escape unharmed.

–X–

It had worked, of course. It had taken a few hours of building rapport but you'd done it. You'd had him eating out the palm of your hand while he confessed to the three murders you knew about and an extra four that you didn't.

A day of retrieving bodies later and by 10 pm, the case was finally closed.

"Well done, kid, you really got him in that interview. That was some great work." Morgan nudged your elbow as he grabbed his duffle, exiting the makeshift office.

"Don't forget we're getting drinks at the cocktail bar in half an hour. Shower off that mud and change into a hot dress, Agent, and I'll buy you your first shot." Emily called back to you from the exit too, leaving you in a fit of giggles as you promised her you would.

Once they'd all gone, you started packing up your things ready to leave yourself when there was another knock at the door.

" Hey, I need to grab my bag." Reid stood in the door awkwardly, and your smile dropped into a politely neutral face as you nodded to him.

"Don't let me stop you, Doc."

"Spencer."He said, stepping a bit closer to you.

"What?"

"I want you to call me Spencer. You keep calling me Doctor or Doc, I want you to call me Spencer."

"No. Doctor Reid is just fine for me."

"And what if I want more?" He grabbed your wrist as you turned to go, using a bit too much force and leaving you stumbling into him, hitting his chest as you looked up at him, your noses almost touching with the proximity.

"Let me go," you growled, but his grip loosened and you didn't move an inch.

"What if I want more?" He asked again, a little more insistent this time, his eyes dark in the dim room, expression unreadable.

"Why should I care what you want, Doctor Reid?"

"Because I think you want it, too. Because I think that despite all the odds, you want me just as much as I want you."

Your anger burst out of you in a sarcastic laugh then at his presumptuous words.

"Despite all the odds? What odds are those Spencer? You treat me like shit, ignoring me, refusing to even shake my hand, and downplaying the hard fucking work I put in before you got here? God, you are so fucking narcissistic." You finally stepped away from him then, turning away to regain your composure.

"Me? I'm not the one who missed some vital fucking evidence in a murder investigation, Y/N, so I'm sorry I wasn't the most welcoming person, but God if we're talking egos, you should probably check yourself."

"Forget it, you're impossible. I really tried to be nice to you, but more fool me for making messes you had to clean up."

"Are you still stuck on that? Y/N, I'm sorry, but Derek just has a way of-" He stepped closer to you again and you could feel the oxygen being sucked from your lungs.

"Don't you dare blame this on Morgan. You're attracted to me and you fucking despise that, and it's none of Morgan’s fault. Now please, just get out of this fucking office and go back to your motel room." You practically hissed those last words at him, holding back the urge to scream in frustration. Your lips were so close now, as his chest heaved, hands clenched by his sides as he resisted the urge to grab you.

"Forgive me… for suggesting something so obviously repulsive to you." With that, he brushed past you and walked out, leaving you reeling at his almost confession, head light from the lack of air. He'd taken your breath with him as he left the room.

–X–

The promise of free shots had convinced you to get back out to the bar as promised, not letting Reid and his fickle moods control when and where you'd be enjoying yourself.

You finally showed up at the bar and were greeted by hugs from JJ and Emily, already one drink in as they immediately handed you a shot from the bar. Guiding you back to the table, you paused as you saw him there.

Morgan was sat at the table, happily chatting away with Reid, who'd since grown quiet, eyes meeting yours before leaving to rake down your frame. You resisted the urge to cover yourself, confidently standing tall as he devoured you with his eyes. Changing out of your work clothes, you'd decided that you needed some fun tonight, donning a short red dress, barely hitting the tops of your thighs, hugging your curves tightly, and pushing your chest up so it nearly spilled out completely. You'd completed the look with thigh-high black boots and a red lip, looking the absolute image of lust - or anger - personified.

"Whew mama, you look good, Y/N." Morgan greeted you, standing up to give you a kiss on the cheek. Reid still said nothing but kept his eyes trained on you as he took another sip of his drink.

"I was promised shots and dancing, I think I'm dressed pretty appropriately don't you think?" You smiled and giggled up at Morgan, letting your touch linger on him a little longer to see if it would spur Reid into action.

"Have I ever told you about my very good friend Penelope Garcia? I think you two would get along just fine."

The rest of the night continued in a similar vein. You'd stepped out onto the dance floor with Emily and JJ, letting whatever man wanted to sidle up close, begging one of them to be a distraction from the man whose eyes were boring into you from the other side of the room. It didn't work. Their hands were on your hips, guiding you to the sound of the music but in your head, all you saw was him, doing the same.

It didn't help that he was getting hit on constantly from his perch beside Morgan, and you watched with a bitter feeling at the bottom of your stomach as women tried, unsuccessfully, to get him to pay attention to them. After another frustrating invitation for a tryst with a local man, you excused yourself from the dance floor, finding Morgan in the bar, letting him know that you were calling it a night.

"Where's Reid?" You asked, trying and failing to sound casual as you glanced around the now crowded bar for signs of him.

"He left like ten minutes ago. Said he was tired and went back to the motel."

"Was he…" You didn't want to finish the question, not knowing which answer you'd prefer, but Morgan filled in the gaps himself with a wide grin.

"Alone? Yes, kid. Here, it's the address of the motel we're staying at and his room number." You hesitated before grabbing the paper and grabbing your stuff, practically running from the bar and hopping in the nearest taxi.

–X–

That's how you found yourself stomping down the corridor of the motel, pounding on his door at 1 a.m., unashamed in your brazen actions. He opened the door, slightly shocked to see you there, and you pushed your way inside and turned on him as you shut the door.

"What the fuck was all of that?" You demanded as soon as he turned back to you. His shirt was open now, jacket and tie discarded on the floor somewhere deeper into the room, but you forced yourself to look up into his eyes, away from the pale plains of his skin.

"What was what, Y/N?"

"You, staring at me like that the whole night and then just leaving."

"Did you want me to stay?"

"I want you to stop answering my questions with questions, Reid. This is bullshit, you can't act like a dick to me all week and then look at me like I'm a piece of meat you want to rip apart, for fucks sake."

"You made it very clear earlier tonight that you wanted no part of this, Y/N. Are you saying I should've done something else?"

"That's another fucking question, Spencer! If you don't start actually talking to me, I swear to god, I'll-" You ran a hand through your hair, and when you looked up again, he was closer than ever. You backed up into the wall, but he followed you, pressing a leg between your own. Slowly and with that condescending grin plastered across his face, he drawled out his next words.

"You'll what?"

Your lips crashed against his with the fury of your frustrations, a mess of teeth and tongue and biting anger as you surged forward into him.

With a rough push of your hips, he slammed you back into the wall, taking charge of the situation, coaxing his tongue into your mouth, battling you for control, and winning. Grabbing you by the neck he slowly pulled his lips away from yours, leaving you gasping for breath.

"Don't be such a brat, Y/N. When I ask you questions, it's because I want answers." You moaned as you tried to regain his lips, but he chuckled and kept you pinned.

"Tell me, baby, what should I have done earlier instead? Got down on my knees to beg your forgiveness, or thrown you over that desk and used you like a cheap little whore? I think I know which one you prefer."

You moaned at his words, but kept your mouth twisted in a grimace, choosing not to answer. He got tired of waiting, and, with a swiftness you didn't know he possessed, twisted you around so your hands were planted against the wall, your chest pushing against it too as he pulled your hips up and out, effectively baring your pantie-clad pussy to him as your dress pushed up and over your ass all by itself.

"So fucking slutty. You let all those men in that club touch you while you stared at me the entire time." He ran his hands across your ass massaging you underneath your underwear before pulling his hands away again and grabbing your hips. He pushed his clothed cock against you from behind and you moaned at how hard and big he felt already.

"Was this what you wanted, brat?"

"Go fuck yourself."

"I think you'd much prefer it if I fucked you, don't you think?" He turned you around again, lifting one of your legs up to wrap around him, the new angle pressing your core further into his cock.

"Open your mouth, now." Against your better judgment, your body reacted to him quickly, your tongue dropping out of your mouth as he ground his cock into your core, effectively dry-humping you. With a swift motion, he spat in your mouth, your eyes going wide as you instinctively shut your mouth and swallowed.

"Good girl," he stroked your hair, lifting you up and carrying you to the bed. His lips locked with yours as you tasted his spit on your lips, letting him take control and move you in any way he pleased.

"But you've been a brat," he said pulling away. "And brats need to be punished."

With that he forced you over his knee, pulling your panties down as he positioned your hips higher, your ass raised. He fisted one hand into your hair and began softly stroking your ass with the other.

"You're going to count for me, baby. If you lose count, we'll start again. With each number, I'll tell you what you did wrong, okay?"

"Fuck, yes, yes sir." With another soft touch, he pulled his hand up and bought it back again down sharply, letting it cup your ass as you hissed from the sting.

"O-One."

"That was for being a brat in the office. Being so confident you missed some vital evidence that was staring you right in the face."

He did it again, and you squirmed under his touch.

"Two."

"That was for teasing me in front of Hotch. Making me get hard right there in the office before you went to interrogate that creep."

"That made you hard?" You gasped out as he cracked out another slap to your ass. "Three."

"That was for talking. You need to stop fucking talking." He stroked your ass again, delivering a fourth, fifth, and sixth blow in quick succession as you felt yourself leak your arousal all over his lap.

"That was for dressing like a little whore tonight. That was for flirting with Morgan. That was for letting another man touch you. What do you have to say for yourself now, brat?" Your breaths stuttered out of you as you tried to compose yourself, confident that he'd finished your punishment now.

"G-Go…. FuckFuck yourself." He growled and threw you back on the bed, ripping your dress off over your head and letting his lips return to yours as he trailed his hand to between your legs, finally pushing two fingers inside of you as you moaned and writhed beneath him.

" I hate you," you moaned in his ear as his lips trailed down to your breasts.

"You have a funny way of showing it." Your orgasm was rapidly approaching, so close you could practically taste it. He sensed it as well, though, and pulled his fingers out of you before you could reach that bliss.

"You thought it would be that easy, brat?" he whispered in your ear with a low chuckle before flipping you over to your front and thrusting his fingers back into you from behind, causing another moan to rip from your throat, uncontrollably loud in the otherwise silence of the motel at night.

Unzipping his pants and freeing his cock, you felt the weight of it on your ass as he rubbed his precum against your now bright red asscheeks.

"You're going to look so pretty with my cum decorating your ass baby. It's going to make your ass feel better, too."

"You're disgusting," you spit at him, but your hips push harder into his dick, trying desperately to capture him inside of you and force him to use you.

"No more talking, bitch. Take my fingers." He pushed a hand into your mouth and you started twirling your tongue around them, using your distraction to finally violently thrust his dick all the way inside you. You screamed at the sudden filling, cumming around his cock in an instant, trying to milk him for all he was worth. But he clamped a hand down over your mouth so that all that fell from your face was escaped tears and muffled pleas for more.

"Gonna use you like this baby, gonna make you admit you love me."

His thrusts gained a steady pace as your brain emptied beneath him, desperate for more of the pleasure his body was supplying you with. He released your mouth then, content that all your energy seemed to be spent on pushing your ass back into his, listening to the wet, sloppy sounds of your activity.

"Do you like that, brat? You like me making you feel like this, huh?" He slapped your ass again as he thrust, and you moaned back with a nod.

"Yes, Spencer, don't stop… Don't stop." You moaned again, another orgasm rolling over your body, causing you to clench unconsciously around his cock.

"So good baby, you're responding so well to my cock." He trailed a hand underneath you to your clit and started rubbing it in time to his thrusts.

"One more for me. One more and I'll pull out, okay? Just one more."

"I can't, Spencer I can't do it.." You whined underneath him, face fully buried in the motel pillows. You were surprised he even heard you through the tears as the material.

"Yes you can, baby, look you're so close already, just do one more."

"I hate you," you moaned again, feeling your third and final orgasm wash over you, your eyes rolling back in your head as your body started twitching and didn't stop. You felt a small twitch from him too, as he finished thrusting inside of you, letting a little bit of his cum escape into you before pulling out and decorating your ass with his ejaculation.

He fell by the side of you and gasped desperately for a few minutes, before grabbing a hot wet towel from the bathroom and cleaning your ass off.

"Spencer…" you croak out eventually, regaining some clarity, but still not moving much from your spot in his bed.

"Spencer, I don't hate you."

"I know. I don't hate you either. Which is probably for the best."

"What? Why?"

"Hotch just requested your transfer to the Quantico Office so you could start training with the BAU. You did a good job this week, Y/N." Your eyes started watering again and you gently pushed away tears as he laughed at you, asking why you were crying.

"I'm not happy," you joked.

"I just realized that means I have to work with you more." You both laughed at that. You didn't hate each other exactly, but that didn't mean you could work together well either.

And you didn't want to if this was the outcome of your bickering and hatred.

[hatsunemitskislobotomy]

ೃ⁀➷ look at me! look at me!

↳ ❝ ¡love and deepspace idol! au headcanons! ❞

·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙

linkon city, the hotspot for new and upcoming talent. the city is restless, many calling it “the city of dreams”. ambition and passion are what fuel the city, it’s vibrant culture making it alluring to many. you and your best friend tara are debuting in the most anticipated girl group of your generation, hunt:ress. with your manager caleb and your groupmates by your side, this journey should be smooth sailing…

right?

fans tend to pit boy groups and girl groups against each other— it did not take long before your group hunt:ress was dragged into that mess. specifically with a particular boy group— after a clip of the recently debuted group brushing past yours without a second glance at an award show went viral, the boy group eVOL was never far when hunt:ress was mentioned. hell even variety and award shows were humoring the spectacle by having the two groups up to announce awards or interviews. that’s where you met the group’s maknae, xavier.

when i tell you— y’all looked at each other like ONCE and the masses were making edits, making blogs and analysis videos, writing fanfiction, whole nine yards

but of course with the people who thought y’all were cute (despite never actually having a conversation with one another) came his fans who gave you unnecessary hate, they’re ruthless

with the way your group was pitted against eVOL, other fans just thought y’all had beef (think the alleged jeongyeon v. jimin beef type of level LMAOOOOO)

no but seriously eVOL fans conspired with hunt:ress fans about you and xavier being together so much that caleb had to give the company your phone to search through just to make sure

rumors get so bad that they put you on house arrest shortly after some rabid xavier biases run you out of a cafe (it made the news)

eVOL’s company reaches out to yours with a half hearted apology, however they won’t won’t release a public statement because “that would only feed into it” and hope that the situation blows over

unbeknownst to both companies— xavier finds a way to reach out to you through your old phone (that you hide because you didn’t want to give up your old life just to become an idol) and apologizes for his fans behavior

the two of you actually start to talk since you’re not exactly allowed to go out the dorms save for group outings and music/award shows, he’s been the first person you’ve been able to actually talk to, it was refreshing

you find out despite his baby face— he is not the maknae and is actually the oldest member but his company’s trying to keep that public perception of him (yeah they’re weeeeeird)

you start to confide in each other and talk about idol life but also just random things, he’s a comforting presence in a world where everyone’s eyes were on you

you sometimes text him all night coming to practice absolutely exhausted, tara’s the first one to suspect something is going on

tara actually runs one of y’all’s ship pages LMAOOOOO

when your group wins an award for best new music, he’s the first person who congratulates you (the footage is clipped and before the end of the night it’s viral)

one of the reasons why hunt:ress was so well received was because of their visuals. the girls were pretty, sure— but whoever their stylist was? they were working overtime. there is not a single ‘flop outfit’ compilation or blog about any of you girls. one of your group’s performance outfit goes viral however everyone can’t stop talking about how it captured your aura and stage presence perfectly, it went viral catching everyone’s attention— including someone interesting. your company had ties to a famous designer who rarely showed his face, seemed like he’d just design clothes and have them modeled and call it a day, did not bother to even go to fashion showcases where his work would be the main event. but then he saw a clip of you in his work go viral— he had to see it for himself. that’s when you met rafayel.

when you heard that the designer of all your performance outfits wanted to meet you specifically you were nervous, after all this had to be some respectable man

let’s just say you were a bit confused when you showed up to his studio that looked like a tornado had ran through it— everything was strewn around

in its wake? an attractive young man who was probably the last person you’d think would be the person responsible for your group’s outfits

he’s an audacious man, skipping all pleasantries to immediately ask about your measurements

he asks for your chest size first and you resist the urge to chuck a nearby thread spool at him

you start to interrogate him, there’s no way that he’s the decorated designer that’s well respected in the industry… right?

but despite his demeanor, you can’t argue with his skill when he pulls out a dress that immediately catches your eye— you’re itching to try it on

he snickers at your wide eyes and tells you to change into it (he makes a joke about how he wouldn’t mind dressing you himself and you give him the craziest look)

once you’re all dressed up you step away from the changing room, doing a little twirl as you showed off his work

he was in awe, videography did you no justice compared the real deal— he shamelessly asks you to drop your idol career to be his model, his muse

and just when you thought you couldn’t give this man any more crazy looks

you really couldn’t deny it though, it was almost as if his work was made for you— the dress complimented you deeply

but alas you had worked extremely hard to get to where you were now, no amounts of flattery would coax you out of it

no matter to him, he wasn’t one to give up so easily. in a sea of fish, you were quite the catch

eventually he convinces your company to “lend” you to him as his model— the company agrees because not only is the versatility of idols really important but also free promo lolz

he now starts to attend these fashion shows so he can bask in your presence showing off his work, people whisper about the man who manages to get the best seat every time wondering who he is

at the end of every show he’s waiting for you with a bouquet of flowers, you always accept them joking about how it was just another failed attempt at him trying to get you to be his permanent model

little did you know that that wasn’t the only thing he was gunning for

whenever the question “who’s the most hardworking?” would arise in group interviews, without a doubt your fellow members would answer your name. your trainee days were rough, strict diets, endless hours of practice, appointments with vocal coaches, promo— you took it all in stride with no complaints. nowadays as a debuted idol in a well performing group, you still couldn’t help but watch what you ate, practice until your muscle ached, finding every opportunity to better yourself. tara often tried to reassure you that you already were good enough and that it was alright to be gracious and lenient towards yourself. you appreciated her words but you were fine, it wasn’t nearly as bad as being a trainee. that mindset eventually landed you in trouble causing you to collapse at a pre rehearsal for a music show. fortunately with no footage, rumors of your company potentially mistreating you only had the questioned credibility from word of mouth. eventually coming to with an iv connected to your arm and caleb scolding you for never taking breaks, your company insists that your group does the next few music shows without you so you can rest. before you can protest, a doctor that’s introduced to be your primary care walks in. that’s when you’re reunited with zayne.

you’re still a bit groggy but you recognize those pensive green eyes anywhere

he tries to not cross the line of a patient doctor relationship but the minute caleb leaves he gives you an exasperated look

he makes a quip that despite all these years later you still are inadequate in taking care of yourself

you grew up in the same small town as him and went to school together, of course he left for medical school while you perused your dream— who knew that you’d reunite in the big city

despite being in for mild dehydration and being treated for it with the iv, he insists on doing a full exam which gets you nervous and rightfully so, he’s very thorough

and lo and behold— he unravels your secret that you’ve kept from your company, your chronic illness

when auditioning and being signed on as a trainee the medical records you had submitted were from a shoddy doctor who never ran any tests

you beg him not to rat you out, after all you had made it this far with not a single person suspecting a thing

he’s very adamant about letting your company know, he tries to reassure you that the more room for accommodation for you the better but you cut him off pleading

he didn’t know how ruthless the industry was— you’ve seen plenty of popular groups put members in indefinite and unfair hiatuses for something beyond their control, if it wasn’t your company than the general public would know you as the sickly idol

you had worked too hard for it to come crashing down like this and his cold eyes softened in realization

he let out a sigh before begrudgingly agreeing to keep your secret, reminding you that you had been lucky that he was employed by the hospital rather than your company who by under contract he’d have to tell

he also makes a condition, you would have to start taking care of yourself more— if you ever landed in a hospital bed with another iv in he wouldn’t hesitate to let your company know of your state

you thank him profusely, you had worked far too hard for this. he knows because this had been your dream since you were children

you offer him to lunch in the upcoming weeks as a means to catch up, he only agrees under the guise that he can keep an eye on your condition while making sure you actually eat

❀° ┄───╮

a/n: wowza that was a lot 😵‍💫

y’all i love this game so much it’s not even funny— zayne my beloved pookie bear oml

i hope y’all enjoyed this fr, maybe i’ll write something(s) inspired by this au and hopefully expand on some of the headcanons ‼️

if y’all get some inspiration off of this pls tag me i wanna read yalls work so badlyyyy okay bye guys mwahhhh 🫶🏾

╰───┄ °❀

[theoutcastrogue]

"The majority of high-tech patent lawsuits are brought by patent trolls—companies that exist not to provide products or services, but primarily have a business using patents to threaten others’ work. Some politicians are proposing to make that bad situation worse. ...

The Patent Eligibility Restoration Act, S. 2140, (PERA), sponsored by Senators Thom Tillis (R-NC) and Chris Coons (D-DE) would be a huge gift to patent trolls, a few tech firms that aggressively license patents, and patent lawyers. For everyone else, it will be a huge loss. That’s why we’re opposing it, and asking our supporters to speak out as well. 

Patent trolling is still a huge, multi-billion dollar problem that’s especially painful for small businesses and everyday internet users. But, in the last decade, we’ve made modest progress placing limits on patent trolling. The Supreme Court’s 2014 decision in Alice v. CLS Bank barred patents that were nothing more than abstract ideas with computer jargon added in. Using the Alice test, federal courts have kicked out a rogue’s gallery of hundreds of the worst patents. 

Under Alice’s clear rules, courts threw out ridiculous patents on “matchmaking”, online picture menus, scavenger hunts, and online photo contests. The nation’s top patent court, the Federal Circuit, actually approved a patent on watching an ad online twice before the Alice rules finally made it clear that patents like that cannot be allowed. The patents on “bingo on a computer?” Gone under Alice. Patents on loyalty programs (on a computer)? Gone. Patents on upselling (with a computer)? All gone. ...

PERA’s attempt to roll back progress goes beyond computer technology. For almost 30 years, some biotech and pharmaceutical companies actually applied for, and were granted, patents on naturally occuring human genes. As a consequence, companies were able to monopolize diagnostic tests that relied on naturally occurring genes in order to help predict diseases such as breast cancer, making such testing far more expensive. The ACLU teamed up with doctors to confront this horrific practice, and sued. That lawsuit led to a historic victory in 2013 when the Supreme Court disallowed patents on human genes found in nature. 

If PERA passes, it will explicitly overturn that ruling, allowing human genes to be patented once again. ...

“To See Your Own Blood, Your Own Genes”

From the 1980s until the 2013 Myriad decision, the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office granted patents on human genomic sequences. If researchers “isolated” the gene—a necessary part of analysis—they would then get a patent that described isolating, or purified, as a human process, and insist they weren’t getting a patent on the natural world itself.

But this concept of patenting an “isolated” gene was simply a word game, and a distinction without a difference. With the genetic patent in hand, the patent-holder could demand royalty payments from any kind of test or treatment involving that gene. And that’s exactly what Myriad Genetic did when they patented the BRCA1 and BRCA2 gene sequences, which are important indicators for the prevalence of breast or ovarian cancer. 

Myriad’s patents significantly increased the cost of those tests to U.S. patients. The company even sent some doctors cease and desist letters, saying the doctors could not perform simple tests on their own patients—even looking at the gene sequences without Myriad’s permission would constitute patent infringement. 

This behavior caused pathologists, scientists, and patients to band together with ACLU lawyers and challenge Myriad’s patents. They litigated all the way to the Supreme Court, and won. “A naturally occurring DNA segment is a product of nature and not patent eligible merely because it has been isolated,” the Supreme Court stated in Association for Molecular Pathology v. Myriad Genetics. 

A practice like granting and enforcing patents on human genes should truly be left in the dustbin of history. It’s shocking that pro-patent lobbyists have convinced these Senators to introduce legislation seeking to reinstate such patents. Last month, the President of the College of American Pathologists published an op-ed reminding lawmakers and the public about the danger of patenting the human genome, calling gene patents “dangerous to the public welfare.”  

As Lisbeth Ceriani, a breast cancer survivor and a plaintiff in the Myriad case said, “It’s a basic human right to see your own blood, your own genes.” "

[brujahinaskirt]

Okay, I obviously made the above post as a leetle joke, but since it's getting not insignificant traction, I do want to offer a more serious note.

I love this about Arthur. It's probably my favorite thing about him, but let me use this fresh new RDR2 meta post to clarify exactly what I mean. Despite the aspects of his personality & appearance that are traditionally hypermasculine, and despite how often he is annoyed with people (especially incompetents or people who meddle with his plans), Arthur is decidedly NOT annoyed by the social performance of femininity or by traits that are/were frequently stereotyped as feminine. Ever. Regardless of subject. I might go so far as to say he seems to canonically prefer hanging out with women and with "feminine" men.

Your long-winded, bullet-pointed analysis is below!

The Girls. Most noticeably, Arthur actually sits down to talk with and actively confides in the camp Girls (Tilly, Mary-Beth, Karen) more than anyone else around. These three are the most traditionally "girly" (single, 20s, active, pretty, unattached, highly social, feminine, chatty) members of the gang, though of course they are still criminals and don't perfectly adhere to all period-typical standards of feminine comportment. He doesn't mock the girls** like he sometimes does with other auxiliary members of the gang (like Uncle and Pearson, playful or not). Notably, he doesn't even gently tease Mary-Beth for writing her "silly" romance novels, a highly feminized hobby which she speaks about in a self-depreciating manner, much like Arthur speaks about his own artistic hobbies. Rather, he talks to her about writing like a peer and encourages her to write more by going out of his way to get her a nice pen. Crucially, there is no canon romantic or sexual interest in any of the girls on Arthur's behalf. He just feels the most comfortable in their company and seems to value their advice/opinions on life the most. To me, this is much stronger proof than his forever-burning torch for the cultured & ladylike Mary, which is (or was once) rooted in romantic desire. ** Unless the player persists in Antagonizing them, and these lines (while sometimes shockingly cruel and offhandedly sexual in nature; see Arthur teasing Tilly about pursuing Javier) are largely about goading them for laziness or, in Karen's case, her alcoholism. That said, many of the Antagonize lines strike me as clumsily tacked-on & poorly rooted in canon, which could indicate: (1) an Arthur who is deliberately trying to be disruptive (a generous interpretation), or (2) writers instructed to add throwaway content that will make a certain type of childishly misanthropic gamer (think 13 y.o. boys) squeal in glee with relatively low impact on the overall story.

Campmates. Following the above point... who doesn't Arthur hang out with much? The manly men of the gang; the very people social mores suggest he ought to be hanging out with. Bill, Micah, Joe, Cleet, and even Dutch. (To some extent, this includes John and Sean, but I'd say John sort of lives at the edges of gang life anyway, and Sean is, well, Sean.) Conversely, which male gang members does Arthur hang out with a lot? Sweet little bookish Lenny, a wordy, positive-energy, breezy intellectual who has just barely become an adult. Introspective, soft-voiced, long-haired Charles, who is traditionally masculine by some standards (strong, usually calm, can be standoffish) but decidedly NOT so when his appearance/demeanor is judged by the white Christian American male standards that began to dominate masculinity concepts in the later decades of the 1800s.

Algernon. Oh, my, Algernon. Arthur clearly dislikes Algernon's fancy, loud, outrageous clothing. But weirdly, he seems to like Algernon, not just tolerate him. Arthur in fact goes through significant personal discomfort to avoid hurting Algernon's feelings (the awful hat, the POST.MAN. sobbing), and he immediately says yes to having tea with him without any awareness of a coming business proposition, though half the time Arthur clearly has no fucking clue what Algernon is talking about. I am left to conclude that on some level, he just enjoys hearing Algernon talk, which is word-for-word what he says while listening to the Girls argue about romance novels ("I just like listening to you [all] talk." Hello????). I mean, for God's sake, he meets the man while he's choking to death on a nut at a fancy party, and the second thing Algernon does is tell him he looks like a guy who wears a corset. If anything was going to set off the boiling defensiveness of a dude who worships masculinity, thirty seconds with Algie would have done it.

Margaret, Mistress of Fucking Danger. It's pretty clear Arthur doesn't like Margaret. But that has little to do with Margaret's femininity & cross-dressing (this doesn't faze him at all when Charles Châtenay does it; more on that below) and everything to do with Margaret's deceptiveness and highly selective memory. It's not until the bullshittery unveils itself that Arthur starts getting visibly pissed off at Margaret. Conversely, Arthur does seem more positively disposed toward Sally Nash. (That said, this quest has a lot of problems and poorly aged lines that are depressingly easy for a politically motivated jerkoff to soundbite and miscast as Rockstar being pro-bigot. Cue 800 heterobnoxious gamerbro ARTHUR MORGAN ULTIMATE ANTI SNOWFLAKE SIGMA MALE OF THE WEST YouTube videos.)

Albert, my beloved. Rather than goading him to man up, Arthur tries to persuade Albert (whom he very obviously likes) to pick safer animal photography subjects, e.g. horses, and doesn't insult him for his lack of wilderness knowledge (an aspect of traditional manliness that is highly relevant to Arthur's lifestyle). You'd think he would tear into him for this shortcoming, given that they share so many of the same interests and passions, and IMO his genuine eagerness to serve as Albert's protector and facilitate his art is highly convincing evidence that Arthur does not necessarily view masculinity as a net positive.

Arthur is a basic goddamn boyfriend-hater. He pretty much harshly disapproves of every husband, boyfriend, male partner, etc. in the game and is very, very vocal about it... except one extremely unlikely candidate: Beau Gray. Weak, dandy artist Beau Gray, whom Arthur takes one look at and promptly hands the only gun to Penelope. Arthur is curt and impish to Beau at times, but helps him in his relationship troubles willingly (without collecting repayment), and seemingly for no other reason than the fact he can see that soft, fearful Beau is genuinely head-over-heels in love with Penelope. Is he projecting his own young love for Mary onto them? Maybe/probably, but Beau could not possibly be more different from young Arthur, and Arthur seems to believe this difference will make him a good husband for Penelope. A good husband, in Arthur's view, seems to simply be a man who ardently loves his beloved, regardless of his ability to provide for/protect her, and whose only goal in life is to live that life at her side. This is completely antithetical to mainstream late-1800s views on what constitutes a good husband and what it means to be a man.

Châtenay. Arthur shows us some of the most obvious delight and mirth he experiences in the game when he's hanging out with Charles "Allo Boys" Châtenay, who is straight up in drag a third of that time. This baffles Arthur a little, but doesn't disgust or repel him. I've written about this mission elsewhere at greater length because it is one of my favorite disasters, but it's worth mentioning here too.

Trelawny. Arthur clearly enjoys Trelawny despite his grumbly claims to the contrary. Most of these "claims" are just Arthur's established way of affectionate teasing (he does much the same with Uncle and Pearson, both of whom he genuinely likes). His authentic gripes about Trelawny are all about a perceived flightiness/lack of loyalty to the gang, not about his flamboyance. And even these gripes are half-assed, in Arthur's usual way.

Bluegills & Daisy Chains. One of the most genuine moments of softness we have with Arthur in RDR2 is when he takes Little Jack out of the camp to go fishing. Arthur's usually a much truer version of himself when he doesn't have to play the Big Bad Gang Lieutenant role, but this moment of escape is especially important, and not just because Arthur reveals his fondness for children and his natural understanding of how to talk to them. I notice this: Arthur tries to gently teach Jack about fishing, and Jack is completely fucking uninterested. Jack prefers to make flower chains for his mommy. Arthur doesn't scold him for his drifting attention or his lack of attraction to masculine past-times; on the contrary, Arthur goes out of his way to encourage and protect Jack's natural sweetness and innocence. That's a wild stance for a murdering outlaw to have re: the "next generation" of his family. Hell, I've encountered far too many 21st century dads in my own family who flip their shit when their tiny sons prefer hanging out with women & partaking in "womanly" hobbies like art, cooking, and flowers rather than hunting and fishing.

"...and be a god damn man." This seems like classic masculine bluster on the surface, but what does this keynote line mean in the context in which Arthur says it? Well, it's complicated. This statement serves as (a) Arthur's goodbye to John, (b) Arthur's final call to action for John, and (c) Arthur's last wish for his brother's life. But it certainly does not mean standing and fighting or being tough; i.e., "dying like a man." In that moment, it means abandoning all masculine bluster and revenge fantasy, and running away: leaving violence and fighting and brotherhood and all that crap behind to simply be there (alive, present) for your wife and son.

The Best Women People. Who are the best people Arthur knows, by his own crystal-clear declaration? Abigail and Sadie. Sadie's a rough-and-tumble, super-violent gunslinger and Abigail's a stubborn thief & a former sex worker (in the time Arthur has known her), but they are also, critically, two wives: the most traditional feminine role for a woman of the time period (and indeed perhaps most of human history once the concept of "wife" subsumed that of "mother"). It's also important to note that Arthur doesn't truly give up on Dutch until Dutch abandons Abigail, which serves as Arthur's point of no return. The other men left in the gang at this point specifically note that she's "just a woman" and not worth going back for. Arthur is straight-up shocked by all of this; he obviously considers her among the most worthwhile and value-having members of the gang, and certainly one of the most core members of the gang. Without any hesitation or doubt, the instant it's clear Dutch is cutting Abigail loose, Arthur declares: "That's that, then."

tl;dr: Arthur unironically prefers hanging out with women and queens and I love that for them.

[bloodflwrz]

These wall artworks in Carl Manfred's Mansion (theory and analysis)

Carl's mansion itself is an amazing location because I can't help but look and analyze every single piece of art scattered across the walls and floor. But these three objects in particular made me curious, I wanted to understand why they were specifically chosen to be placed on that wall. None of them are similar in any way, stemming from different cultures, eras, and material. So, what could they mean? I have an idea, sort of.

I believe each of these three pieces represent our main three protagonists, from left to right: Connor, Markus, and Kara. It represents their identity, their story, their journey. I did some research on these objects, using Google Lens to help point me first in the right direction of the possible inspiration or sources of the pieces, and afterwards my own reading using various art archives, articles, galleries, and museum sites. (I apologize for the wall of text 😅)

1st, Connor:

This seems to be a type of emblem, shield, a coat of arms. A coat of arms is typically adorned and used to represent an entity, and organization, an empire, government, army, or a noble family. Coats of arms are intellectual property, meaning, they cannot be worn just by anybody and flaunted just to feel special, you have to be deserving and privileged enough to display it. Wearing one is a sign of honor and respect, as well as servitude, and with it comes the duty of representing your status and regulating civil law, should you be in a position of policing, legal activity, or combat.

How does this relate to Connor?

Our beloved Android sent by CyberLife has been given orders by his makers, the great and all powerful company that produces every single Android we see in game. His duty is to assist the Detroit Police Department in investigating deviants. This coat of arms, particularly shaped like a shield or police badge, represents Connor's story as a prestigious and advanced prototype Android, with the capability to analyze clues at an inhuman rate and perform combat maneuvers like its child's play. He is not a force to be reckoned with, should he choose to stay a machine, in fact, he IS the law. He is the shield and representative of the company, CyberLife, and its only chance at finding the source of deviancy among their highest-profiting product, Androids. Without Connor, CL is headed straight into nothingness. He must not disappoint Amanda, his handler, and be the loyal subject that he was programmed to be. The infamous blue triangle logo found on every Android's uniform, a symbol of CL, is just a modern version of a coat of arms.

If you look from a Deviant Connor perspective, the police badge/shield-shaped coat of arms could also represent his loyalty to Hank and his protective demeanor. At almost every dangerous encounter alongside his partner, Connor is given the choice to either protect or ignore Hank's safety. Though his priority is to find the deviants, it is his personal mission to protect Hank from harm.

2nd, Markus:

A Marka/Dogon mask, originating from West African ethnic groups (Mali, Ivory Coast, Burkina Faso), particularly the Bambara and Dogon people (and other adjacent groups within the geographic location). This one was a bit difficult to research about, as many masks tend to have ambiguous origins and meaning, but from what I read, these masks tend to represent the coming of age, male initiation, journey into manhood, identity within a society, as well as religious association when used in rituals, sacrifice, and tradition. Some forms of these masks are used in rituals that have a connection with the dead, showing reverence and respect for those who passed on. Practicing remembrance and showing honor to their ancestors are large aspects of their culture with the use of these masks. The masks are also used in traditional healing practices, where they are believed to have powerful spiritual properties that can help cure illness and promote well-being. These handcrafted masterpieces are extremely important in these cultures and are often passed down by generations, signifying the importance of family and bond.

How does this relate to Markus?

These unique masks were primarily made and used by men in West African ethnic groups during the initiations of boys transitioning to men. Much like our Markus, the 'adoptive son' of Carl himself, Markus' innocence and youth is suddenly taken and he's forced into chaos, being harassed by protestors, threatened by Leo, almost permanently shutdown, thrown into the android scrapyard, and has to navigate the world by himself without his father to protect him. He has to mature and leave the comfort of his peaceful and comfy life, and come to terms with the cruelty of the world where Androids are subjugated to abuse and slavery. As a man, no longer a protected child, he takes the responsibility of protection and guidance for his people, symbolizing his 'coming of age' and transition into manhood. He is changed, has endured trauma, and must put on a mask to show that he is still strong and ready to live a life in his new role as a leader. As Lucy puts it, "You had it all, and you lost it all... You've seen hell and now hell lives in you."

Markus' story is closely related to death and the reverence of his 'ancestors': previous Androids who have suffered and died at the hands of humans. His goal as the leader of Jericho is to avenge those that they have lost and fight for those he can yet save. Every deviant's life is unique and special, their stories have meaning, even if they are treated like mere objects and servants by human society. Markus is willing to sacrifice his life in many instances to send a message to the humans, pass on his legacy to Jericho, and afterwards, all of society. His ability to convert is symbolic of a crying, healing, and inspiring message, reaching the furthest reaches of Detroit to those that need it the most. He wants to heal and save his people, bringing them biocomponents and thirium, expanding their sanctuary, arming his people (or family, at this point) with defenses, but in order to do that, he has to be willing to carry the burden of leadership.

3rd, Kara:

The skull of a bull, carved, broken, yet standing strong, thanks to kintsukuroi, aka Kintsugi. Kintsugi is the intricate Japanese art of repairing broken ceramic pottery using powdered gold/silver/platinum to put the pieces together, and display something in a different light, even more special than its original form. The purpose of Kintsugi isn't to hide or disguise the broken figure, but to instead emphasize its history, showing the life that the object had endured. The traditional Japanese philosophy of "Wabi-sabi", often associated with this particular art, describes that beauty can be appreciated even when it's broken and imperfect. There is beauty even in something modest and rough. Even a powerful and enduring beast, like a bull, can be broken down, but its story isn't over, its remains can still be repaired and appreciated if put together by a powerful glue such as gold, or perhaps... Love?

How does this relate to Kara?

Kara, the perfect housemaid Android for domestic work and childcare, is no stranger to being broken. In fact, our first scene with Kara is her being repaired and returned to Todd. Her memory has been wiped clean, she's been made anew, it's almost like nothing has happened, right? Over the course of her story, we learn that Kara has in fact been destroyed, broken, and abused by Todd. How do we come to the realization of her past? Thanks to Alice. Alice, in this case, is her glue, the mold between her cracks and shards. The bond and natural love between Alice and Kara is what keeps her together, alive. Because Kara is a protective mother-figure, the bull, or a cow, whatever you perceive it as, is a perfect symbol for her. Bulls are gentle in their nature, until a trigger sets off their instinct to fight and run you over with their body mass and horns. This is seen in her constant struggle to survive and seek shelter.

We come across two men in particular (out of her many escapes from danger) who set this instinct off, Todd and Zlatko. Both of them want to (or attempt to) break her, wipe her memory clean, and take away the beauty that is her caring nature and deviancy. Just like how mankind has domesticated cattle for their own benefit. Alice brings her back every single time. No matter how much of her body and memory is stripped away, she is back and stronger than before. Kara is a survivor. She can cut her hair, remove her LED, wear ragged clothes as a disguise, but deep down it's still Kara. Her story is shown in her battle scars and changes in her appearance, just like the golden streaks of broken pottery. As long as she has the protective instinct and love for Alice, it'll always be Kara. This is the beauty symbolized by Kintsugi and Wabi-sabi.

---

If you made it this far, thank you! I'd love to hear your opinions and comments on my analysis. This might all be a stretch, but seeing as how the game is littered with references, themes, and symbolism across many scenes, these artworks seemed to standout for a reason, at least to me.

[the-joy-of-knowledge]

How to answer tough interview questions.

Subscribing to the Harvard Business Review was one of the best decisions I made. I have learned so much about career development, personal branding, and job crafting. This article summarizes some of the questions you will get asked in a behavioral interview (courtesy of HBR) and I have included my responses to all of them. Assume I am seeking a HR role in a Fortune 500 company

Tell me about yourself and describe your background in brief?

How did you hear about this position?

What type of work environment do you prefer?

How do you deal with pressure or a stressful situation?

Do you prefer working independently or on a team?

How do you keep yourself organized when balancing multiple projects?

What did you do in the last year to improve your knowledge?

Tell me about yourself and describe your background in brief?

I grew up in small country in West Africa. I went to a great school through scholarship with the condition that I would pay it forward to the younger generation. So, after high-school I spent two years teaching math to elementary school kids. It was there I discovered my interest of people development. I enjoyed taking a kid from "I don't like math to can I get more homework? When I moved to the U.S for college I chose to study Psychology with a minor in Organizational Development. And my internship as a Human Capital Manager has allowed me to further develop my communication and leadership skills.

How did you hear about this position?

I learned about this position through Stacy Williams. She was one of the panelists on the fireside chat I convened in my school on the importance of women in leadership positions. I followed up with her through a coffee chat. She really enjoyed her job and the company culture. Her enthusiasm about her work encouraged me to apply and I am really excited to be going through the interview process.

What type of work environment do you prefer?

I thrive in environments where I am constantly learning. A place where each days brings a fresh set of challenges that I can solve. I also like working with teams where we can collaborate on tasks and brainstorm solution-oriented ideas. In my former internship I worked with an incredible team as a project manager in the human resources division and I worked on certain projects where I had full creative control on the outcome. I enjoyed the balance of both.

How do you deal with pressure or a stressful situation?

Stressful situations are inevitable and I learned to navigate them successful throughout my college career and my various internships. The first time I came across a stressful situation was in my Sophomore year. I worked as a customer service representative at a big department store and it was holiday season. You can imagine the amount of pressure - long lines of customers all waiting to get attended too. Instead of succumbing to the pressure I made sure to really understand the pain point of each customer which were long wait times and stock outs. If we were out of one brand of sparkling water, I would quickly recommend a different brand. If lines were long, I would go to the floor to help the bagging process. Customers left feeling satisfied with their shopping experience. Overtime, I have realized that the key to dealing with pressure is willingly choosing to complete the tasks with a positive mindset instead of worrying.

Do you prefer working independently or on a team?

I like a mix of both. I enjoy working on a team. The process of strategizing with my teammates on the best way to approach a problem allows for critical analysis and diverse points of view. Wh I also build camaraderie and trust with them while we tackle big problems. I enjoy working alone as well because I get to see how I approach different problems and compare my current performance to my previous ones. Working alone also gives me an opportunity to get feedback from my managers on my progress or areas of improvement. I like a balance of both.

How do you keep yourself organized when balancing multiple projects?

I am used to working on multiple projects. A typical semester for me is juggling between my classes, weekend job, extracurricular activities, and passion projects. So to stay on top of my deadlines and due dates I like to prioritize my tasks based on their level of urgency and importance. I use the time blocking method to schedule time for my projects. I take advantage of tools like Google calendar to keep track of due dates and appointments and Notion to manage big projects.

What did you do in the last year to improve your knowledge?

Last summer, I took some time off to really learn about veganism. It seemed intimidating at first because I did not know enough. So I turned to research to understand the facts. I began making home-cooked meals by following recipes from people I trusted and liked on YouTube. As I began noticing changes in my gut health and productivity levels, I started a blog to share my experiences. Now my blog has over 500 enthusiastic vegans who are on the same journey as I am. it was one of the best investment I made in myself.

The Big Pivot

[sirenjose]

Analysis of Ganji Gupta

Ganji was born in India during a time when Britain still ruled over it.

Britain came to India after a sea route connecting Europe to India was found, and Britain initially came due to the economic prospects of trade, but eventually this turned into the desire to acquire territory.

The British presence in India began with the establishment of the British East India Company (the British government having no authority over them at this time). Initially, the focus was trade and acquiring goods such as silk, cotton, spices, and more. Trading posts were established and British communities developed, but eventually they started to meddle in Indian politics and transformed from a trading company to a ruling one. It was at this point that the British attitude towards Indians degenerated (a sense of superiority vs inferiority formed, biased views regarding non-western cultures arose, British disdain increased, and so on). Racism, frustration from the British forcing their own way of doing things (including the English language) on them, policies benefiting the British, and so on contributed to the Indian Rebellion of 1857 (aka Revolt of 1857, First War of Independence, or Sepoy Mutiny).

As a result of this rebellion, the British East India Company was replaced by the British Raj, which was when the British Government took direct control from the East India Company, with Queen Victoria later proclaimed Empress of India. Britain continued to focus on profit and change beneficial to themselves, which led to subjugation and exploitation, and their views of Indians did not improve (still viewed themselves as superior, believed in stereotypes as well as believed Indians were in need of British guidance and governance to civilize them and bring them modernity).

This background is important for Ganji as it is clear this is what he experienced, especially due to Ganji’s 1st letter.

Ganji we know grew up with a talent for cricket, which was the “British national sport”.

 His 2nd deduction implies he was a “prodigy”, with many people who knew him recommending him to participate in the regions “open tournament”. We know from Ganji’s trailer that he received “Love, Happiness, Hope and Pride” from playing cricket, showing how much he enjoyed the sport and how much it meant to him.

According to this same deduction, combined with Ganji’s backstory, we knew he was a “kind, obedient, and friendly” person, “mild-mannered” (aka gentle and not given to extremes of emotion, which is curious considering later on in Ganji’s story), quiet, and well-behaved. One of Ganji’s backstories states this event (where he was recommended to participate in the Open) took place when he was 16 years old.

During this competition, we know he was skilled enough to earn 12 consecutive wins. The next game after those 12 was a semi-final with the British Royal team. It does not say if Ganji won or lost that match, nor if he won the competition in general, but we do know he was skilled enough to receive an invitation from the Royal team to join them and an offer to help him train. As the deduction uses the word “exception” and applauds him for his performance, I’m assuming he did manage to at least defeat the British team and could’ve won the competition too, but it’s impossible to say for sure right now.

We do know that Ganji saw this invitation as a “good chance” and he “looked forward to a better future”. As a result, he left India with the British Royal team, where he stayed at the Queen’s Guard’s manor. Unfortunately for Ganji, it isn’t until he has arrived that he realizes the truth: “he discovered that no one here cared about him at all, and that he was just a toy that was called away for entertainment when the Guard had a little fun. No one knew where he came from, and no one had seen his family. He was struggling alone in this strange place”.

This was echoed in Ganji’s trailer, which says: “Yet when I was brought here I finally realized, These gentlemen simply needed a proper toy to play with. The funny thing is they were far from gentlemanly themselves. All they longed for were our submission and servitude”.

The terms “submission and servitude” tell us how Ganji was treated while in Britain at the Queen’s Guard’s manor. This is further emphasized by Ganji’s deduction 5, which states Ganji was only given 1 day to train, while 2 others (Oliver and Willie) were given 3 days to train. As that deduction says, despite how Ganji hoped for a better future from this opportunity, the “other sided” ended up only being a “mirage”.

Considering Ganji’s earlier invitation and how he is now being treated combined with only being given 1 training day, it seems the British didn’t want Ganji to be outstanding, which potentially could relate to the feelings of superiority discussed earlier. They didn’t want to feel inferior to someone like Ganji, and thus could further explain why they didn’t give him much training time. In the trailer, we see him picking up balls, and if this was all he was allowed to do, that’d further hurt his ability to train and improve. Lastly, Ganji was only allowed to train on Sundays, and back then, this was seen in Britain as a day of rest, when people didn’t work. This could’ve included cricket as well (there are instances of people being prosecuted for playing cricket on Sunday), which shows how much the Royal team tried to hinder Ganji’s ability to train, meaning he likely wasn’t being trained very professionally.

(If the room we see Ganji in before the fire in his trailer is the one he was given upon arriving at the manor, the state of the room could further show how the Royal Team felt about Ganji. The only identifiable items in the room are the cricket ball, as cricket is what he enjoys, and a blurry picture that we can see Ganji in, which could potentially have been of his home and thus ties to his desire to return to it.)

This fits with Ganji’s design notes which say “his social status and the agenda of politicians did not allow him to have obvious extraordinary talent”. It is because of this the design notes say Ganji’s gentle personality was forced to change into “a personality that takes strong measures to fight against fate”. (It is also right after this that it mentions Ganji being “manic”.)

Going to Ganji’s 1st letter, it further reveals how people thought and felt about Ganji and others like him. The part where the author says they need to “take the lead so that the rest of us may get the chance to educate the foolish” fits with how we earlier discussed the British felt they had to govern and civilize the people of India for their own good. This is emphasized with how later the letter says “If it weren't for your insight, he would have spent his life in the mud without ever being touched by the empire's light” and Ganji getting “the chance to lead a civilized life”.

This letter describes Ganji as a “gift” with his “only desirable qualities” being his “average cricket skills and humble personality”. Their sense of superiority is clear hear considering they call Ganji’s skills “average”, yet we know he was talented considering he at least managed to receive 12 consecutive wins in the competition, while the comment about Ganji being “humble” could tie in to how Ganji in his trailer says they just wanted “our submission and servitude”.

Despite how badly Ganji was treated, the one exception was the son of the owner of the Queen’s Guard’s manor. We know he was friendly to Ganji based on Ganji’s deduction 6, which is title “relieved” and shows that the kid thought Ganji was “brilliant” and asked Ganji to play with him. It is possible Ganji is the one who feels “relieved”, and that could be due to actually finding someone friendly in this place. In the JP and CN versions, it potentially has the kid use the term “big brother” for Ganji, so altogether, the kid was likely being honest about his feeling regarding Ganji’s skills and honestly just wanting a real playmate (rather than a toy like the others saw Ganji as).

In this same deduction, it mentions a “well-made board” that has Ganji’s name carved in it. As this is the deduction that involves the son of the manor owner of the Queen’s Guard, it is possible this board was a gift from that kid, and that board may have actually been a bat for cricket.

Going back to Ganji’s 1st letter, it mentions a “Duke Elgin” and a “Viscount”. Based on the mention of “the Viscount’s prominent father” and how this Viscount “demanded” Ganji to “take classes with him instead of just playing cricket with him”, it’s possible the “Viscount” could be the son of the owner of the Queen’s Guard’s manor. We know this boy asked Ganji to play cricket with him due to how cool and talented he thought Ganji was, so it could also fit he might also ask Ganji to take classes and spend other time with him. I’d like to imagine Ganji enjoyed spending time with the boy, as taking classes and playing cricket with him was likely much better than being treated as a toy by the others or languishing along in his poor room.

Ganji continues to play cricket, despite his anger, though he does form a relationship with this boy. If Ganji was 16 during the Open when he was invited to join the Royal Team, and Ganji is at least 21 in game (as he can drink Demi’s dovlin), he was likely subjected to the mistreatment of the Royal Team and owner of the Queen’s Guard’s manor for a fair number of years at least. As we know, he was never able to meet his family while he was at that manor and he was forced to “struggle alone in this strange place”. The “last straw” came one day when he received news “bad news” about his hometown, with his deduction 7 saying he’d received a letter saying “Go home and save them!”

It is soon after this that a fire breaks out and burns down the manor of the Queen’s Guard. The only survivor was the owner’s son and Ganji.

This is also the same time that in his backstory trailer it says “Stop being nice to everyone. I need a new identity. I want to go home. Perhaps that is the only place where there's still hope”.

This matches with Ganji’s last deduction, which is “a letter to home” that he wrote to his mother, saying that “everything’s fine with me. I’m coming home soon”.

Right after the fire starts in one of his backstories, it says Ganji became a “manic patient, often falling into uncontrollable irritability”, so it seems the fire and around this time is when he is first said to be manic. His deduction 9 has a diagnosis saying “Mania, easily irritated. Avoid looking at fire. Suggest locking all windows and doors and staying at home alone”. It is because of his worsening mania that is says people stayed away from him and called him a “thug”, but Ganji only cared about going home.

Once again returning to Ganji’s 1st letter, the end of it talks about getting info on Ganji’s “hometown and the extraordinary spice extraction”. The mention of spices fits our earlier discussion on Britain’s interest in India in part for its spices. This info about Ganji’s home and spice extraction is apparently helpful to whoever this “sir” is and an “upcoming mission” he will be going on. This same “sir” is apparently someone responsible for the idea to bring Ganji to England (though for now I’m thinking he isn’t the Queen’s Guard’s manor owner, who I think is the Viscount’s father).

Considering the talk about Ganji’s hometown and the obvious interest in its “spice extraction”, this could mean this “sir” is someone behind whatever “bad news” came from Ganji’s hometown, and likely the “bad news” and “upcoming mission” had to do with their clear interest in its spices. And if they wanted info on Ganji’s hometown, that could mean one of the few reasons they invited Ganji over was for that info so they could exploit his hometown for the “spice extraction”.

(One side note about Ganji’s 1st letter, but in the CN and JP versions, it says this “Sir” is someone who is recovering their health in “Delhi”, which further shows it’s not the owner of the Queen’s Guard’s manor, who we know was in Britain. It’s possible, if this is someone capable of going on missions and is mentioned regarding “we need… people like you to take the lead” that this “sir” is someone higher up in the government regarding rule of India, who could order a mission to Ganji’s home for it’s “spice extraction”).

Next is Ganji’s 2nd letter, which unlike his 1st (which happens before the fire) his 2nd happens after the fire. We hear he tried to board a freighter. Likely he was attempting to stowaway to return home, but he was caught and taken away by someone working for Duke Elgin. Ganji was placed in a detention center, where he was examined. They mention a “strange scar on his forehead”, which potentially came from the fire that burned down the Queen’s Guard’s manor. We do see Ganji with the owner’s son while the fire burns the manor, so if he had to go in to rescue him, that could have been when.

Considering how they say Ganji, besides his scar, seems “as strong as ever” to me kind of feels like they’re still talking about him like an object or one of their possessions.

After this, the letter mentions how Ganji would be “quiet during the day” but would go “mad” at night, with him “either holding his head between his hands while slamming it against the wall with a pained expression plastered across his face or attempted to snatch the candles used by the guards to keep the place lit up. He only settled down once we locked him in the darkness of the dungeon. But once the next day arrived, he was back to normal again”. It was due to this behavior that the author states he went to purchase “strong sedatives” (to be used on Ganji if he went out of control). During this time while the author was away, Ganji was able to escape despite the guards around him. Despite this, the author believes Ganji will return as they still had several of his possessions, including “medical records, an invitation, and that "treasure" of his.

It says the part with the signature had been “burned off”. If Ganji was messing with candle fire while in the detention center, it’s possible he did something similar to this letter if he got ahold of it (unless it’s nothing important).

The mentioned “treasure” is likely the note from home that reads “Come home, child”. Considering it says “child”, there’s a chance this could’ve been written by his mother. We know Ganji’s written to her himself before, so him receiving correspondence from her would make sense.

Another treasure we know Ganji owns is his accessory Cozy Fleece, which is a sheep toy “given to Ganji when he was young” and said to be “one of the several treasures in his luggage”. This was likely another item given to Ganji by his mother, when he was still home, and thus why he treasures it. Another potential treasure could be Ganji’s bansuri accessory, which has the description that mentions its music helps to recall his hometown.

As for the medical records, it says that the patient is suffering “severe homesickness” and displays “impulsive behavior during times of extreme depression or anxiety”. This means that Ganji’s “mania” is caused by his “severe homesickness” in moments when he’s suffering from “extreme depression or anxiety”. That could mean, with Ganji already being homesick for years before the day the fire started, Ganji’s “last straw” when he received bad news about his hometown now makes sense why the fire likely started then. That “bad news” triggered his anxiety and severe homesickness, depressed him when he realized he was stuck at this manor with no quick way home, before then making him impulsive and “manic” in his desire to go home as soon as possible. Whether or not it was on purpose or an accident, it is possible one of his “impulses” resulted in the fire starting, or a confrontation that triggered his irritation causes it to accidentally begin. Maybe a bit of sanity returned to him afterwards, and that could be when he rescued the boy as we see him with the boy during the fire in Ganji’s trailer. But for now, information is scant on the specifics of this event.

Potentially after escaping detainment could be when we see him living by himself like in his other backstories. It’s possible he was in hiding from those that had captured him. We don’t know for sure whether he returned to them for his treasure (it’s possible with how important his note from his mom likely was). We know from Ganji’s backstory that it says he “lived in a cold room with little furniture for years” and “seldom stepped outside during the year”. He had no friends, always looked solemn, and people found it “difficult to get to know him”. Ganji is described as “peculiar and lonely”, and someone his neighbors “loved to gossip about”.

His backstory mentions “random loud noises coming from his room”, which could tie to the behavior he displayed at night in the detention center, when he’d hit his head against a wall.

Regarding Ganji hiding in his room all the time, this connects back to his deduction 9, the diagnosis that suggested “locking all windows and doors and staying at home alone”.

The part about “avoid looking at fire” implies, whether or not he did it and whether it was on purpose or accident, it implies he’d been deeply affected by the fire that burned down the manor. Maybe because of all the feelings (and irritation) he had from how long he spent there, being mistreated and never being allowed to train. Maybe because of the boy he’d formed a relationship too and how this fire took away his home and family, just like Ganji was without his home and family. Maybe any conflict he had if he was somewhat responsible, whether accidentally or on purpose, as his trailer does mention wanting those “gentlemen to repent for their sins” but also because this was a place he’d had such high hopes for regarding his future and now it’s turning to ashes, as well as was a place he’d suffered alone, away from his family, for a long time, but more conflict because Ganji was deep down still a “kind” person (and maybe regretted not saving more people, or regretted if he had a fit of anger and its consequences that day that causes all these events). Just another boy, like the son of the owner of the Queen’s Guard crying at the sight of his home on fire, that was crying out for his family and home as it was threatened or attacked but Ganji unable to do anything about it.

The backstory continues by saying he kept his appearance “hidden” whenever he went out, which could relate to if he was in hiding from the people who’ve been trying to capture him in his letters, or to the mistreatment he potentially receives if people knew where he was from, or to hide the scars on his face from people if he knew how they’d react upon seeing it (as they did describe his face as “horrifying”). It also fits with how his trailer said he needed a “new identity”.

Despite how they treated him, Ganji was said to give “softly spoken words of appreciation to the neighbors’ trivial kindness”, which seems to connect to Ganji’s original personality (as he was described as kind, friendly, and mild-mannered before he came to Britain).

Others debated the reason for Ganji’s behavior, suggesting “regret” (tied to the fire that ended his training with the Royal Team, as other people wouldn’t know the full truth about his feelings towards the Royal Team) or “cautiousness” (from living in a foreign country). Unfortunately for Ganji, everyone decided that Ganji had “a lot of secrets” and “might bring trouble to the town and decided to stay away from him”.

The last thing we hear about Ganji is he still dreamt of returning home, and eventually received an invitation from the manor, offering a “huge reward”, enough for Ganji to use to go home, and he “decided to take the risk”.

Side note regarding Duke Elgin.

I couldn’t find any “Duke” Elgin, but I did find an “Earl” of Elgin. The 9th Earl of Elgin, Victor Bruce, was the Viceroy of India.

I don’t think this is the exact same “Duke Elgin” but it could be a basis for the character (for Netease when designing this).

These were individuals appointed by the British monarch. They represented the British government in India and exercised authority over British India on behalf of the British crown. Victor Bruce served as Viceroy during 1894-1899m which was a particularly troubled period in Indi’s history, and his tenure was not seen as a successful one. During his administration, there was economic and social unrest, a famine, bubonic plague, and the Tirah campaign (Afridi Frontier Rising). This campaign took place in Northwest India and involved the British seeking to restore control over the area after an uprising occurred (with 1 of the challenges they faced being the mountainous terrain).

I don’t think this is exactly where Ganji is from, but this event, as well as all the other issues occurring at the time, could relate to or be a sort of basis (to Netease) for whatever did actually happen to Ganji’s hometown.

Apparently the “bansuri” is a flute connected to north Indian music (with the venu being connected to the south), which could mean (with how the Tirah Campaign happened in the Northwest) Ganji could be from somewhere in the North part of India.

[tomorrowusa]

One of Putin's goals with his illegal invasion of Ukraine was to extend the cultural influence of the Russian world. That has been a bigger failure than his military disaster.

Ukraine's language situation is complex. But about 20% of the population is primarily Russian speaking and a majority of the population can understand Russian – a legacy of Soviet imperialism.

Russia used to be a major source of music. That changed bigtime in February of 2022. Putin has unintentionally created a boom in Ukrainian music.

Prior to February 2022, YouTube’s rankings in Ukraine were overwhelmed by Russian-language songs, which occupied up to 75% of top chart positions. Ukrainian-language music struggled for visibility, making up just 10% of the weekly top 100. But in the months since Russia’s assault began, homegrown Ukrainian acts have rapidly overturned this imbalance. They now account for 65% of YouTube’s top slots in the country, while Russian musicians have been largely purged from the charts, Ekonomichna Pravda writes.

січня = January квітень = April липень = July жовтень = October

The war appears to have enriched Ukrainian performers financially as well. Best Music, a Ukrainian publishing company, reported one its top artists earning 248% more from streaming services in the third quarter of 2022 compared to 2021. Other leading singers saw quarterly streaming revenues in the $18,000 range.

Russian language and culture have taken it on the chin in most parts of the world – but especially in Ukraine.

In Ukraine, you can now officially write Russia and words related to it in lower case.

Ukraine Allows Russia-Related Words To Be Written In All Lowercase

So presumably your Ukrainian spell checker won't ding you if you type росія instead of Росія (Russia), путін instead of Путін (Putin), or москва instead of Москва (Moscow).

Putin is doing for Ukrainian culture what he's also done for NATO.

[leaves-lilies-and-esther]

The pay gap/female choices debate

I was watching this Youtube video the other day, and it pissed me off, but the main point of it was that there were these two men discussing how the pay gap isn't real because it all comes down to women's choices, citing really crappy examples as evidence. They clearly thought they were "owning the libs" too. They did this with 0 contextual analysis on why women make the decisions they do.

The first example they used was the Uber driver 7% pay gap, and how it's completely explained by three factors: (a) that women tend to be less experienced, (b) that men tend to drive faster, and (c) men drive in more lucrative locations. (This paper is Cook et al 20 by the way if you want to fact check me).

And yes, when you put it that way and remove all context for women's decisions, it certainly looks like that sort of moment. But think critically for like two seconds here:

Those more lucrative locations? The paper directly states that it's due to men's willingness to "drive in areas with higher crime and more drinking establishments". Of course men are more willing to do this! Your average woman is significantly more scared of being sexually assaulted, murdered, etc than your average man. She's going to avoid high crime areas because she's already in a vulnerable position (letting strangers into her car).

The fact that women have less experience? The attrition rate for female Uber drivers is substantially higher- 76.5% of women leave after six months, as opposed to 65% of male Uber drivers. I did found an article explaining why women self-select out of being in Uber or Lyft in the first place from Forbes. Quote, "...the job still involves driving alone and picking up strangers, often at night- situations that many women feel are dangerous. In interviews with eight female on-demand drivers, FORBES found that they usually feel safe but sometimes have doubts after troubling experiences and holes in safety policies." The article goes on to describe the experience of a female Uber driver in Atlanta, whose male customer tried to assault her. The company didn't handle the incident appropriately, and she never drove for Uber again. I'm willing to bet that this is the case for other female drivers too. The other women they interviewed (even those who are presumably still driving) described multiple similar experiences.

So, if you were a female Uber driver, you would probably leave around the six-month mark too. And as a result of this high attrition rate, the average female Uber driver will have less experience as compared to men.

And you know what? These other "gotcha" responses about the pay gap can probably be explained by outside factors too. Even in totally automated systems like Uber, where it does come down to female choices, those choices aren't being made in a freaking vacuum. It isn't just "haha pink lady brain can't drive as well", it's women don't feel safe and therefore make less money.

There's other scenarios where this is true as well. Women aren't climbing the corporate ladder as quickly as men? What else is going on? The Harvard Business Review found that more than half of men expect their careers to take precedence in a marriage- so if his is being prioritized always, what's happening to hers? When children get sick, women are ten times more likely to stay home from work to care for them (Kaiser Family Foundation). What does she miss in that lost time? When female scientists write papers, they are less likely than men to describe their accomplishments as *outstanding* or *unprecedented*, with the end result that their papers are cited less often. But it's because when women are socialized to be caretakers and to perform without complaint, this is the end result (Professional Development at Harvard). Worse, women who don't do this, and ask for raises/bonuses/etc, are more likely to be penalized than men (same source).

Yes, women sometimes make "decisions" which negatively impact their careers, but take it altogether. What makes men expect precedence of their wives? Misogyny. What makes men expect that their wives, regardless of their careers, will always nurse their sick kid? Misogyny. What makes women and their employers view female accomplishments as less valuable? You know the answer.

PS: two last things. The first is that I'm not trying to reduce the value of traditional "women's work". It isn't bad that women are taking care of their sick children, it's bad that men aren't doing it in equal numbers.

Secondly, if you're curious, there's this amazing professor named Claudia Goldin who I stumbled across while googling for this. She basically believes that the issue isn't direct discrimination from employers, but that the labor market encourages women to work differently. (And she's like 1000% more nuanced and career-specific than anything I just wrote). I put a link to an article about her below:

[flock-talk]

Transparency With Parrot Food Manufacturers

There's been a significant rise in the expectation of transparency between pet food manufacturers and the general public. Dog food manufacturers, for example; have AAFCO, feeding trials, and an array of nutrient digestibility charts, base nutrient expectations, and sanitary guidelines to follow which a lot of brands then openly share with the public. These standards help pet parents make more active choices in what they feed their pets, tailor their pets diet to meet their individual needs, trust that their food meets a base line of nutrition, and that the food was produced in a sanitary manner. The dog food industry is far from perfect and even these regulations have their flaws and the tests aren't without fault but it is a good base for us to compare to when we're trying to sort out what we want from other pet food manufacturers. In this case I'm focusing on parrot pellet manufacturers.

I had a few different goals heading in to this.

I wanted to see how transparent pellet manufacturers would be with sharing information that is common to ask dog food manufacturers (information is not confidential, revealing formulas, secrets, etc.)

The availability of nutrient analysis charts (breakdowns of how much of each nutrient is in their pellets)

What standards parrot food manufacturers held themselves to

If any feeding trials were performed on their pellets

And to preface this with my own bias, I am pro-pellet, I currently feed pellets.

Before we get too deep in to this let's break things down a bit.

As it stands there really aren't any regulating bodies above parrot food manufacturers as far as I could find. There doesn't seem to be much of any standards when it comes to their sanitization or product quality, the best you get is the FDA/ CFIA which basically just make sure a food isn't outright toxic. As it stands there haven't been enough studies done on parrot nutrition for there to be a governing body stating what the minimum nutrient requirements are for parrot food, we simply do not actually know what those requirements are yet so there cannot be a set standard for it. This unfortunately leaves us open to a lot of problems, if there's no nutritional requirements and no standardized testing then we're really just putting a lot of trust in to a company that wants to turn a profit. We're hoping that the food that says it's nutritionally complete is what it says with no evidence to show for it, and no science to confirm it.

So with that said no parrot food can actually claim to be "100% nutritionally complete", we do not know what nutritionally complete looks like for parrots, there is no science to back up those claims.

So I set out and emailed every parrot pellet manufacturer I could think of and asked them the some questions.

"Does your company do feeding trials? If so, is that data available to the public anywhere?"

"Do you have a nutrient profile available?"

Feeding trials are very simply a test where you feed a set of animals exclusively one diet and then monitor them to see if the food is capable of providing the base essential nutrients needed to live. Usually they do blood work, urine and fecal alongside regular physical exams to monitor things like nutritional deficiency, ailments, and nutrient digestibility. This helps show that a food is capable of providing what the target animal needs to survive without causing health problems and provides vital information on what amount of vitamins/ minerals in the produced food are actually being digested and absorbed. These tests are common among well-known dog food companies and most are more than willing to share that data to give their consumers peace of mind with easy transparency.

And let me tell you I am beyond disappointed at what happened when I asked parrot food manufacturers the exact same thing.

TOPs: No nutrient profile listed on the website, does have a detailed breakdown of why every single ingredient was added though. Happily discloses that parrot nutritional science doesn't have all the data to claim any food as 100% nutritionally complete and advises for the feeding of fresh foods in addition to their food, didn't specify exactly how much of each to maintain optimal nutrition.

I emailed them three times and never got a response back from any of them.

Harrisons: Does say you can feed 20% vegetables by weight while the pellet should be 75%, has an easily available nutrient analysis on their website.

also emailed three times with no response back.

Caitec: no nutritional analysis listed on their main website, website did not state how they want their product to be fed, product packaging states that veggies should be a treat/ addition and lists the pellet as a "complete diet".

emailed three times with no response back.

Lafeber: Primarily promotes mixed seed and pellet formulas, doesn't state any risks of parrot's selective consumption (study on that problem), does promote the feeding of fresh produce in conjunction with their formulas at 20% of the diet, no nutrient analysis on their website.

emailed three times with no response back.

Zupreem (Compana Pet Brands): did respond back but they phrased their response in a way to dance around the subject, after some pushing they confirmed they do not do feeding trials. Encourages use of fresh foods with their formula, at least 60% pelleted diet recommended. Had an extremely small nutrient profile that just skipped over the important nutrient requirements like the Ca:Ph. I asked for a nutrient profile which they did not want to provide but were able to tell me that the naturals pellets have 0.59% calcium

Roudybush: Says fresh foods can be fed but "as a minor part of the diet", does say that science doesn't have enough information to make a product tailored to each species of bird, did make changes to their formula recently to remove menadione in favour of alfalfa due to it's potential toxicity. does seem to be evolving as science progresses. Ingredients list wasn't listed on the website, nor was a nutrient profile.

did not reply to any emails.

Tropican (HARI): I was hopeful for this one by the way their website boasts about their feeding trials and research. So so hopeful.

Talks about doing feeding trials openly on their website, recommends 70% pellet to 30% fresh foods (by caloric content not weight) but mentioned that their birds eat 100% pellets. Easily accessible albeit basic nutrient profile but it covers the main things.

After my email Mr. Hagen actually ended up calling me and what I was hoping would be a motivating call ended up being very hostile. Whenever I asked questions about data or results of a feeding trial I was immediately shut down, the topic was changed, I was interrupted mid-sentence over and over again. I was able to get small tidbits of info that were as vague as "we've fed multiple generations of birds on this food" and "we do annual weigh-ins". He would casually mention data from a study he had done but then dart away if I asked for the name of the study so I could read it later. It was an extremely off-putting phone call. Completely unwilling to say how many birds were in a trial, how many years the trial went on for, if there was bloodwork or nutrient digestibility charts, nothing at all. He also casually mentioned that once the birds are old enough they get sold to stores which was very unnerving to me.

So I guess they maybe do legitimate feeding trials but they will under no circumstances offer that data to the public? I don't know. They wouldn’t provide any published articles or data to actually prove that the trials exist and I will definitely not be contacting them again to find out. They suggested I was trying to steal their formula and lying about my identity. I'm not going to try to get a simple answer out of them again.

Mazuri: recommends 20% fresh foods 75% pellets, nutrient profile available on the website.

did not reply to any emails.

Pretty Bird: Does not do feeding trials, prompt to reply, at least knew what a feeding trial was. Couldn't find feeding recommendations on the website, no nutrient profile aside from the generic guaranteed analysis having a few add-ons but still skipping on the important nutrients you'd want to know about.

Kaytee: Did not know what a Feeding Trial was. Thought I wanted samples and offered me a coupon. I had to explain to this animal food manufacturer what a feeding trial was. Unsurprisingly they do not do feeding trials. Website had no listing of a nutrient analysis. Recommended 70-90% pellets to some fresh foods. In their own published article they went over how damaging seed diets are for parrots but then they also sell seed-only diets with the ingredients they were specifically bashing in their own article. When I asked for a nutrient profile this is what I was given:

"Nutrient levels are calculated based on ingredient data, feed compendium tables and direct diet analysis. Actual levels may vary slightly due to ingredient and analytical variation."

Kaytee exact naturals cockatiel pellet:

"0.4% Calcium 0.2% Available Phosphorus (non-phytate P) 0.1% Magnesium 120 ppm Zinc 140 ppm Iron 700 IU/kg Vitamin D3"

and that's just extremely limited information. I'm glad they were willing to provide something but in comparison to some of the others it's just not a lot of data.

Psittacus: advises for the use of grit in parrots, recommends 100% pellets but says you can feed a minimum of 70% to make room for fresh foods. Their response to feeding trails was really vague: "our products have been evaluated and tested in our centre as well as collaborating centres. This information is for internal use and it is not published anywhere". Wouldn't say what tests were done or elaborate further than that in any way. I then inquired for a detailed nutrient analysis chart saying that Mia's calcium has been a bit of a struggle (since it has been), curious if their brand may have more calcium than the ones Im using now to help her out to which they replied with "our food contains the calcium levels appropriate for him/her". (you literally cannot say that, you haven't run tests on my bird, you haven't worked with my vet regarding my bird, you cannot guarantee a blanket statement like that.). They did offer me a link to this catalogue which has more detailed info on their pellets production and a more thorough nutrient analysis chart.

I am shocked by the responses I received. I am disappointed in parrot food manufacturers. I am frustrated with parrot food regulations.

I knew I wouldn't get much out of these emails since the standards for parrot food are so low but the amount of companies that just pretended not to get my emails or didn't even know what a feeding trial was is ridiculous. The amount of companies that were making claims that science can't back up, or making claims that science actually disagrees with is astounding.

The complete lack of transparency is terrifying.

[plasticflwrs]

✿ ، With the rise of long-form video essays on YouTube, user GOTHIC GWYN changed the K-Pop fandom with her seventy-five-minute analysis, PLASTIC FLOWERS: BREAKING THE INDIE SCENE. Since it was posted in 2023, the video has reached over 5 million views and GOTHIC GWYN still posts semi-regularly. The video describes the five members of Plastic Flowers, the former members, their relationships with each other, and their role in the multimedia universe created by their entertainment company. This layout was inspired by the lovely myah aka @/venusvity !

This video contains the following trigger warnings: Fighting (Salem); Resentment from her parents, Disownment, Eating Disorders (Serin). Mentions of toxic relationships, but not described as well. Please let me know if anything is missing!

( PART I: I AM FRAGILE AND UNHOLY. OPEN. RAVAGE. EAT. ... MILIN KUEAKULSRI ) ⬭　The story of Plastic Flowers naturally begins with founder and leader Salem Kueakulsri. Though born in Hat Yai, Thailand, she moved to California at a young age due to her father's job and paternal grandmother's growing health issues. Her parents used the "1-parent-1-language" system in her home and she was fluent in Thai because she learned the language at such a young age. Her nickname Salem was given to her by her father when she was born due to her birthday being on October 31. She's always preferred Salem to her birth name, Milin, since it makes her seem more unique and was given to her by her favorite person.

In late 2013, the family moved to Ulsan, South Korea after the funeral of her grandmother and both of her parents wanting to return to their original lives. Her father was given a promotion and that lead him to the South Korean branch of the company. Salem begged her parents to let her attend an Arts High School in South Korea and after passing the entrance exam, she promised to keep her grades up no matter what to remain there. Many students tended to stay away from her given her "resting bitch face" and she did not make friends until the next year when she was approached by Choi Chaesol in their science class. The pair became lab partners and soon Siyoon was invited to join her small friend group, which also included Choi Seowon and Ying Shuhang.

Not long into their friendship, they realized a mutual love for creating music and performing. Siyoon had been learning the guitar in her free time since early middle school and had recently moved on to the bass. As the only member with a background in music—as the other three were just learning to play their instruments—she was promoted to the 'leader' of the group and began songwriting with primarily Shuhang. They would continue with informal practice sessions until their first single was published on Soundcloud and reached limited success.

The band was contacted by many entertainment companies in South Korea and after a heated argument about the band's future, Salem took the name and their songs to Superbloom Media for herself. Without any band members left, she was forced to start from the bottom again in this new era of Plastic Flowers and make connections with these new trainees. She remained the leader and the head of their comebacks until recently.

✿ ، BIOGRAPHICAL INFORMATION.

Stage Name. Salem ( 살렘 ).

Birth Name. Milin Kueakulsri ( มิลิน เกื้อกูลศรี ).

Born. October 31, 1998 in Hat Yai, Thailand.

Position. Leader, Vocalist, Bassist.

Years Active. 2014 — present.

Label. Supberbloom Media.

Face Claim. Nicha Yontararak.

( PART II: I TALK TO GOD BUT THE SKY IS EMPTY. ... KANG JUNYEONG ) ⬭　Born in one of the poorest neighborhoods of Daegu, Kang Junyeong knew from an early age that he would do anything to get out of there. Most of his neighbors had been living in that town their entire lives and that was not something that interested in. His single father was never able to afford much beyond necessities on his small yearly salary so Junyeong was tasked with finding different ways to entertain himself after completing his school work. While watching the school's talent show, he was introduced to a local dance trope with boys from his grade and decide to reach out after seeing how much attention that they got. From there, he was accepted into the group and learned street dancing, often competing against other groups in Daegu. He loved dancing and saw an opportunity to get out his neighborhood after discovering 1Million studio's video and choreography credits. He knew that if he worked hard enough, they would accept him and he became dedicated to learning every style of dance he could without paying for lessons.

While visiting Seoul for a school field trip, Junyeong was scouted by three entertainment companies based on his good looks even at fourteen years old—YG Entertainment, Jellyfish Entertainment, and Superbloom Media. He auditioned for all three of the companies and despite his dancing abilities, he could neither sing nor rap and was rejected by both YG and Jellyfish, leaving him with only Superbloom. In 2015, the company was in a bad place as they chartered failed group after failed group and needed to take out thousands in loans. In 2017, he was reached out by another company to transfer after seeing his work and when he was considering it, he was placed in the lineup of Plastic Flowers, which he thought was a traditional idol boy group. He was sourly mistaken and forced to learn the drums even after putting up a fight about his role in the group.

Even if it had been five years since then, Junyeong is still bitter about what happened to him. Rather than ever showing off his dance skills and improved vocal abilities, he was stuck behind a drum kit and expected to act like it was all fun. Even worse, many critiqued him playing from the beginning and said Junyeong was only going to keep Plastic Flowers in nuguhell due to his poor abilities. This forced him to work harder to perfect his craft and he's become pretty good at his new position. He refuses to work with the rest of the members on songwriting and producing, instead forcing them to figure out the perfect drum line for each of their songs in protest. Only Salem can tolerate Junyeong, often leaving him separated from the rest of the group despite everything they've gone through.

✿ ، BIOGRAPHICAL INFORMATION.

Stage Name. Junyeong ( 준영 ).

Birth Name. Kang Junyeong ( 강준영 ).

Born. June 11, 1999 in Daegu, South Korea.

Position. Drummer, Vocalist, Visual.

Years Active. 2017 — present.

Label. Supberbloom Media.

Face Claim. Choi Yeonjun.

tw // childhood trauma relating to jiyeon being treated worse than her older sisters, disownment, eating disorders.

( PART III: I WAS THE GIRL WHO NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHO SHE WAS TO PEOPLE ... LEE JIYEON ) ⬭ Lee Jiyeon grew up in a house based around perfection. Both of her parents were traditional doctors and they meticulously planned their live together, well everything expect the birth of Jiyeon in early summer of 2000. She has two older sisters, Jisu and Jihye, both born in the early 1990s and were apart of their parents plan. Because of this, Jiyeon was label as the black sheep of her family and was often treated worse than her older sisters with harsh exceptions about school work and health. Her mother enrolled all three of her daughters into ballet at an early age and given the horror stories about ballet teachers giving their student's body issues, Kim Jinsook was heavily involved in what her children consumed as her health specialty.

Similar to future band mate Junyeong, Jiyeon knew that she was not going to remain in Jecheon for very long. Her older sisters had already moved out by the time she reached high school and there was nothing holding her to the city. While talking with her dance friends, Jiyeon was persuaded to audition for various entertainment companies behind her parents backs. They were expecting her to either follow in their footsteps or go into a similar field. Jiyeon, however, had other plans. She was desperate to get into an entertainment company and move to Seoul, so she began looking up videos to teacher herself to sing before her parents came home and auditioned under the ruse of visiting Seoul with her friends.

In 2015, she was accepted into Superbloom Media and they were the first to give her a decision. Desperate to get out, she took it and was disowned when they heard Jiyeon's plan to become an idol. She stayed in the dorms year-round and was Superbloom transferred her to a local public school. She was known as one of the best female dancers in the company, easily transitioning between styles. However, she was not upset at the chance of being in Plastic Flowers since she had debt to the company and needed to pay it back as quickly as she could. With the help of Salem and Gwyn, Jiyeon learned how to play the guitar and is the third most important vocalist behind the two leads.

✿ ، BIOGRAPHICAL INFORMATION.

Stage Name. Serin ( 세린 ).

Birth Name. Lee Jiyeon ( 이지연 ).

Born. June 12, 2000 in Jecheon, North Chungcheong, South Korea.

Position. Guitarist, Vocalist.

Years Active. 2017 — present.

Label. Supberbloom Media.

Face Claim. Park Chaewon.

( PART IV: FLOWERS GROW BACK, EVEN AFTER THEY ARE STEPPED ON, SO WILL I. ... OH DEURIM ) ⬭ Oh Deurim was born in the suburbs of Seoul and had grown up attending busking events with her friends after school. As the youngest child of three, she was given the freedom to realistically do anything under her parents supervision. She was gifted in the humanities subjects, particularly finding literature and poetry her favorite pieces to study. Throughout her teen years, she read poetry in any language she could get her hands on and spend hours trying to translate it. She began writing her own poetry at thirteen and that would become the base for her songwriting abilities later into her training career.

In 2015, Deurim was accepted into Superbloom Media as one of the first generation of trainees under Shin Yeonghui's reign. She was slated to debut with Celatum in 2017, at just sixteen years old, however, she was pulled from the lineup right before debut and replaced by Jeong Soomin. There are still pre-debut photos and videos featuring Deurim, making many wonder what happened behind the scenes. The next time fans saw her, she was competing on Superbloom's only survival show, Timefighter, which formed the group of the same name. She began the competition with good spirits and fans easily falling for her visuals and talent. However, after being promoted to leader and showing her colors as a harsh one, her rank dropped significantly and she was never able to recover. As the weeks went on, her rank began to fluctuate between eleventh and fourteenth, however, she just made the adjusted lineup by two places that same year.

Having expressed Plastic Flowers being one of her favorite bands and Salem her greatest inspirations, she was invited by Yeonghui to join the band after they suspended Minghui's contract at the end of July. She was introduced as a new member of the band in May 2022 and was surprisingly accepted by fans quickly.

✿ ، BIOGRAPHICAL INFORMATION.

Stage Name. Deurim ( 드림 ).

Birth Name. Oh Deurim ( 오드림 ).

Born. July 7, 2001 in Seoul, South Korea.

Position. Pianist, Vocalist.

Years Active. 2021 — present.

Label. Superbloom Media.

Face Claim. Kim Suhyeon.

( PART V: ALL TIME EVER DOES IS PASS AND ALL I EVER DO IS REMEMBER. ... OLIVER SONG ) ⬭　Born in 2001 and the youngest member of Plastic Flowers, Oliver Song is a musical prodigy. His musical talents were discovered at an early age through piano lessons and he quickly moved through the different difficulties of music. Not long after that, he chose to learn the violin alongside the piano while in elementary school and showed the same advanced performance. He continued down this road and learned to sing while he was an active member of the church choir near his childhood home. In 2013, he was even accepted into the Boston Arts Academy and trained for two years before he was accepted into Superbloom Media. His mentors wanted him to attend lower-level auditions to gain more confidence and Superbloom was holding something online, so they filmed and sent in a video thinking nothing of it.

In the fall of 2015, he was accepted into the trainee program at Superbloom and offered a spot in Seoul, South Korea. Oliver, not wanting to miss such an opportunity, looked deeper into K-pop and had a few discussions with the scouting manager for North America about what his future would look like. After this and convincing his parents, Oliver Song moved to Seoul alone right before the new year to begin his training journey. There, he became close with his future bandmate Lin Minghui as two of the only foreign trainees. Oliver struggled the most with dancing and looking confident while performing, which caused him to be placed in more lessons throughout the day and switch to an online high school. Surprisingly, in late 2016, he was added to the new lineup of Plastic Flowers and given the stage name Gwyn right before their debut. While not the original lead vocalist, fans seemed to enjoy his voice more and the switch was made after their 16 month hiatus.

In 2019, Oliver was cast as one of 60 contestants on the talent show Superband and was the youngest at just seventeen years old during filming. Though he had been learning Korean for almost three years at that point, he still struggled with speaking and having the confidence to articulate his own thoughts. Despite that, fans rallied behind Oliver as one of the show's main narrators and his talents. For his introduction stage, he performed a cover of Fleetwood Mac's Big Love which earned him the role of Front Man, meaning he could choose his own bandmates for the next round. His group, which performed Heart-Shaped Box, lost 4:1 and while it was sad at the moment, he was chosen to be part of Park Hyeongjin's winning teams for the next two rounds. He proved himself a top-tier vocalist alongside Isaac Hong in Royals and The Time of My Life, which made him deeply sought by the other contestants when forming their own Superbands. In the end, he ended with original partner Sawyer Lee, Ko Seungmin, and Yoon Taeyun as Death Valley, which earned 45,000 votes and Second Place with their final song Take My Hand.

With the show's conclusion in July 2019, Plastic Flowers released their mini-album Wind and Rain in late August to keep up with his growing momentum. However, given the small fan base of any group from Superband, the Plastics still heavily struggled as fans demanded a return of Death Valley as well. For the next three years, they would continue to miss the mark until Teeth was released in 2020. For three months, you could not go anywhere without hearing Teeth domestically and internationally, even going viral in Tiktok. With that album, Oliver was given the role of producer by the Superbloom representatives and has been working hard to emulate the success of his earlier work. In March of 2023, he also be the first member to make their solo debut.

✿ ، BIOGRAPHICAL INFORMATION.

Stage Name. Oliver ( 올리버; 2017 — present ) / Gwyn ( 그윈; 2016 ).

Birth Name. Oliver Finn Song.

Other Names. Song Yuhyeon ( 송유현 ).

Born. December 12, 2001 in Boston, Massachusetts, United States of America.

Position. Vocalist, Rhythmic Guitar, and Violinist.

Years Active. 2016 — present.

Label. Superbloom Media.

Face Claim. Matthew Seok.

[1moreff-creator]

Happy Birthday Charles Cuevas!

I haven’t talked much about this guy in my short time on Tumblr, but I’ve always loved this dork. Clearly academically gifted, but still a bumbling idiot at heart. He’s always a joy to have on screen!

Anyways, as usual, I’ll make a half hearted analysis on his character, alongside dumping in a bunch of fun facts from any sources I can find (mostly QnAs and the series itself), then mention a few songs that remind me of him!

-Charles originally held a very elitist attitude towards everyone else’s talents, arrogantly dismissing any he didn’t consider useful. 

-However, he’s quickly humbled by quite a few things. He had evidently lived a relatively sheltered life prior to the killing game, as he didn’t know how to perform basic tasks like using a washing machine or cooking, and Whit always poked fun at him for that and other reasons.

-But in particular, it was his debilitating fear of blood, hemophobia, which ended up fully humbling him. After seeing Teruko’s body post Xander-stab, he became unable to speak until after the end of the first trial. 

-In fact, Charles is the only person (aside from Xander for obvious reasons) who didn’t participate in the CH 1 Scrum Debate. He doesn’t even show up in the animation. Also, his sprite has him with his back to the group for the vast majority of the trial.

-After everyone saw him like that, Charles felt they started pitying him, which he absolutely loathed. He’s claimed he likes hanging out with Teruko specifically because she didn’t start treating him any differently after that fiasco.

-And of course, he also started enjoying Whit’s company. The matchmaker helped him during the trial, and then they became close friends. 

-This is despite the fact that Charles got very annoyed by and even genuinely angry at Whit making fun of him in the laundry room scene, as we see in their FTE.

-Veronika believes Charles’ hemophobia comes from repressed childhood memories, which seems likely given his secret: “Your older brother died, but you don’t remember him at all.” Hearing about it for the first time shocked Charles quite badly, but he later composed himself and overall handled his secret well. 

-His older brother’s name was Elliot (nickname Ellie), as revealed in the most recent QnA. He was 11-13 years older than Charles, and apparently looked very similar to how Chares looks now. All we know about Elliot otherwise is that his favorite food is pancakes and his favorite animals are dogs.

-In the same QnA, it was revealed the scar on Charles’ right arm is from a dog bite, but Charles thinks it’s a birthmark; he doesn’t remember getting it. This suggests this is related to his brother’s death, which when combined with the fact that Charles’ profile  states he dislikes dogs… really makes it sound like Elliot was mauled by dogs ngl. His favorite animal too.

-We know Charles usually writes in cursive, and given the fact his custom weapon isn’t listed in the list Whit showed everyone on the first trial, it’s likely it was written by him. 

Note the paper looks similar to the notepad Charles usually carries around. Also, the pen he always has on him and likes to chew on has black ink, if anyone cares. 

-Though the fact his strychnine is omitted from this list sort of means he and Teruko may very well be the only people in the killing game who know he has that weapon…

My guy’s getting poisoned isn’t he.

-Anyways, his profile also states he likes coffee ice cream, and this was reconfirmed in the recent QnA. He can also apparently brew good coffee, but not in the killing game since he doesn’t have the right materials (see: FTE).

-His secret quote is “If you forgot it, then it probably wasn’t important to begin with. None of those memories should ever be kept, anyway.” It’s possible it’s just talking about his brother, but if this follows the same logic as Arei’s and Min’s (as in, a phrase Charles actually says out loud), it will be interesting to see in what context he says it. Has he regained some of the memories of his brother’s death perhaps? He’s speaking of amnesia with quite the authority. But that’s just speculation.

-The quote on the Mai Akasaki profile attached to him is “A girl who loves her family.” Because he doesn’t remember his brother, but Mai loves her family apparently. I find it sorta hilarious that this is one of the only solid pieces of information we have about Mai’s backstory.

-Recap Foil Theory by gleamingtempest assigns Teruko as a narrative foil to Charles, which we’ve already seen come into play. They’ve essentially gone in opposite character arcs so far, with Charles opening up and starting to rely on others just as Teruko begun distrusting everyone and distancing herself from the rest. Other ways they foil include their attitudes towards the past; Charles considers his life very ordinary, all things considered, as he’s completely forgotten the worst part of his past. Meanwhile, Teruko hardly remembers all the things which she’s been through because of the sheer amount of bullshit she’s been through. Her luck has basically made her quite experienced in the situations Charles is most incapable in, anything with corpses and blood being the main thing. Among other thematic and narrative connections.

Charles obviously has very interesting thematic connections to a lot of other characters, but if I get into everything I’ll be here forever.

-He has numeral III in the David MV, a number which doesn’t seem to have any applicable symbolism on its own.

The phrase it’s connected to is “if you doubt brittle things are broken”, which refers to the preconceived notion he’s an only child (and his scar being a birthmark) being destroyed by questioning them, as he expresses in this scene:

Charles: Things you had accepted as truth your whole life begin to reveal themselves as lies. And once all the pieces are in place, you realize you were a fool for never seeing the whole story before.

There’s also background text, a famous passage from “The Little Prince”:

“And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”

“The essential” here is likely meant to be Charles’ memories or relationships.

-Color Theory by accirax assigns him plum, which includes the following words:

*change! X2: He went through a pretty fast character arc, so “change” makes sense.

*like that: This one makes sense with the context of the scene, but that will take too long to explain and it’s not too important.

*the o in original: Not getting into this one either, but in context it probably is just another reference to his change of heart. What? What do you mean that’s not what I’ve ever said in relation to this word? Don’t worry about it.

*a cup of poison: Strychnine stays winning.

Alright, now some more useless fun facts!

-His birthday, September 5th, doesn’t seem to have special meaning to him, but it does land on the International Day of Charity, National Cheese Pizza Day, as well as…

National “Act Dumb” Day, and National Be Late For Something Day.

…

Who the fuck comes up with these?!

-He dismisses the concept of a favorite color pointless, but his favorite color is cerulean (sorta blue like his gloves). His least favorite color is dark red because of blood, so yes, the characters see it as red.

-He likes “nostalgic food” that reminds him of his childhood. Hey, remember how he really wanted to eat pancakes in the FTE? And remember how Elliot liked pancakes? I’m sad now.

-He’s good with computers and technology in general (see: his talk about CDs vs DVDs), and apparently uses machine learning for chemistry purposes.

-He smells like laundry detergent. Presumably because he’s cleanly as a chemist, but I like to think he just spilt a fuckton of it on himself trying to wash his clothes.

-He’s right-handed and American, like practically everyone in the cast. Though he is ethnically hispanic/latino.

-He likes his hair length and doesn’t like the idea of cutting it short. Also, his hair color’s natural.

-He doesn’t need to wear those goggles all the time, but he’s stubborn. And his lab coat is slightly oversized, but he won’t admit it.

-In the FTE, Whit flexes quite a few nicknames for him. Charlie, Ceci, “Cha-ro-shi”… I think this is funny.

And finally, a few songs that I think fit him! Though my music taste doesn’t really align well here, so I had to reach a bit for a few of these. You have to understand, the extent of my research for this part always just extends to me scrolling down my playlists and seeing which songs I think work with the character.

+Toxic by Britney Spears. I am only slightly sorry.

+She Blinded Me With Science by Thomas Dolby. You decide what Charles ship this goes with.

+Uncanny by Ghost & Pals. It’s about someone struggling to understand and accept their own feelings and experiences (memories), so it fits.

+Amygdala’s Ragdoll by Ghost & Pals. Amnesia song.

+Aura by Ghost & Pals. A song about confronting past and present horrors.

+Lost One’s Weeping by Neru. “Science, math I like. But I’m terrible at English, so I despise”. He dislikes acknowledging his weaknesses and prefers to focus on the things he’s good at.

+Meltdown by iroha(sasaki). A song about change with a nuclear reactor as a metaphor. Perfect.

+Hyperdontia by Ghost & Pals and CreepP. “Pull them out and wash them off, the memories”.

+Candle Queen by Ghost & Pals. Sorta fits pre-arc Charles.

+Aishite by Kikuo. Trust me bro. He gives me these kind of vibes of a “golden child”, you know what I mean?

+SIU (Suck It Up) by Maretu. If you ignore what the lyrics are actually about, the vibe works quite well.

+Nobody Makes Sense by PinnochioP. I cannot explain to you why I think this fits so well, but in my mind it does.

+In iolite by Ghost & Pals. Hopeful and lowkey. I just really like this song, and I think it sorta fits.

+Those Who Carried On by guess who, Ghost & Pals again. I think the vibe fits decently, and if Charles is one of “those who carried on” I think it kinda works? Idk.

+100 Digits of Pi by AsapSCIENCE. You can’t tell me he can’t sing this front to back and then continue for like fifty more digits.

+The Periodic Table Song by AsapSCIENCE. Obviously.

And finally:

Happy Birthday! Though he’s going to be extremely embarrassed the entire time it plays.

(Also this is apparently my 100th post so pog)

[clairedaring]

Hello Claire! It always takes me by surprise and leaves me with awe when I read your posts about thai production houses. And it's a topic that really interests me.

So, disclaimer before I mention my question - sorry if this is stupid or weird, but why did Nadao close its operation? I mean, given the fact that they had such powerhouses under them (not just actors but directors, producers, musicians, etc.) and if I remember correctly, it was right after IPYTM (or maybe after a year or so), so it felt like they were on the pathway of constant success.

~ @tipsyjaehyun

Hi Rain!

I always love talking about Nadao so thank YOU for allowing me the opportunity to talk about them. And please, there are never stupid or weird questions ever, especially when it comes to Nadao Bangkok (rip love).

When Nadao announced they were closing down, they posted this very long letter explaining why as well. Here's a summary of the contents:

In short: Nadao will terminate their roles as artist development, series & music producer. The reason is that their artists are now grownup enough to choose their own paths. Also the seniors have different goals. It is not sudden. They have been discussing it for a while. We have seen many Nadao artists moving out and continue with their own journey. This is the reason. Nadao will terminate their roles and want to give their artists more freedom to work in the industry. Ongoing series production will be passed to the director and they will make their own decision. Ongoing music production will be under the artists’ own names. Nadao will also introduce their artists to network in the path that their artists are interested in.

Nadao closing its business leaves a lot of regret in the hearts of fans who follow Nadao artists (me, i am the fan in question). Out of all the speculations, I think there's this one Reddit comment from u/Virtual_Tadpole9821 that aligns most with my speculation.

I wasn't originally going to comment because I was hoping to see some analysis emerge online, but since I'm not seeing any here's my two cents anyway. Knowing Nadao, the move is unlikely to be directly motivated by financial reasons. The company has consistently been profitable. Its financials for the 2021 fiscal year haven't been filed yet, but even in 2020, when the pandemic first hit, it still made a net profit of 29 million baht after taxes. Though this was down from 40 million in 2019, it's still more than 21 million in 2018. Things might have been worse in 2021, but it's unlikely to be too bad for them to weather. They don't appear to have that many fixed costs. As most of their income comes from artist management and the main costs are the artists' cuts, less work just means the pie is smaller, but the company still gets a piece and won't bleed to death. Not producing means not having to pay for crew and equipment, and their productions are usually externally funded anyway. If the company was facing financial difficulties, the first thing to do would be to scale back on non-performing operations, and the loss-making Nadao Music would be the first to go. But that's not what they're doing. Rather, they're shutting down all current operations at once. The move is probably more due to ideological re-questioning of the company's mission. As /u/dangrankeyi pointed out, Nadao tries to position itself as first and foremost a talent management agency. But it hasn't really been able to grow itself much in that regard. As their artists keep outgrowing their target group, they need to keep replacing them. But the scene is much more crowded now than in 2009 when the company was founded or in 2013 when it made Hormones. The company doesn't appear to have been successfully developing much new talent. Its latest pivoting attempt was when it launched Nadao Academy in early 2020, but that seems to have ceased with the pandemic. And even if the project was successful, what work would the company find for the trainees? It's not like it's doing that well with its current artists anyway. Nadao has some 30 actors under its umbrella, but apart from BKPP, things have been rather quiet for them. The problem I see is that there's a disjoint between what the company wants to do and what it actually does best. It wants to grow talent, but it's having problems finding work for that talent, and doesn't quite have the capacity to generate that work itself. On the other hand, Nadao has become best known for is productions, which for the most part have been passion projects driven more by their creator's visions than by business strategy. But such projects don't serve those original goals well enough. The only way they could have sustained this was probably to keep dishing out seasons of Hormones, but they didn't, because they knew they wouldn't be able to maintain quality, and even if they did, it would have lost steam by now anyway. The thing is, Nadao doesn't actually need to exist for its creators to do the production stuff they want, and are good at. That can be accommodated under parent company GDH and its other subsidiaries, which is where Nadao's production crews come from anyway. Looking at it this way, it isn't very difficult to see why they'd come to the decision not to continue doing the things they're doing as Nadao Bangkok.

And I would say that after two years since Nadao closes down, it's been pretty clear that the closing down of Nadao was more ideology-motivated than business. While Nadao officially shut down it's business, the actual company itself was renamed Tada Entertainment to accompany P'Yong Songyos Sugmakanan's pursuit of making the next perfect idol groups. Tada Entertainment now manages girl group MXFRUIT (under subsidiary label Ily Lab)...

And BUS (a Thai pop group formed through 789 Survival, under subsidiary Sonray Music). Khunpol (Bas from ITSAY) also competed in 789 Survival and debuted in BUS.

And DICE (consisting of the members who participated in 789 Survival but didn't make it into BUS, also managed by Sonray Music)

One must be quite confounded by P'Yong Soyos' new pursuits but watching the documentary of how 9x9 (Nine By Nine) was formed, I think it becomes very clear that P'Yong has always harboured an interest in making the next big Thai pop group, similar to Kpop idol group style. I highly recommend watching this if you have time, or at least the first two episodes of the documentary. It's honestly one of the realest documentaries I've ever watched of an idol group, the way they talk about each other here is basically how they talk about each other in real life, even now.

It was just unfortunate that 9x9 had to be a temporary thing 🥲 (understandable though, they had 4 full time lakorn actors Tor, James, Captain, Ryu, 2 singer/actor Ice and JJ and 3 music-focused artists Third, Jackie, Porsche). So their reunion on the last episode of 789 Survival was a hugeeeeeee thing.

So yeah.... before I ramble on and forget what your original question is, I would say P'Yong's general pursuit and ambitions in the music/Thai pop industry coupled with Nadao's roster of artists outgrowing its target group are the biggest reasons for Nadao closing in general.

I'm always grateful to Nadao for bringing us some of the best series in existence (crazy to think how In Family We Trust is conceived as a part of 9x9 project, with the main purpose to make a series to star all nine boys of 9x9) yet it swept the Nataraja awards (Thai Emmys) that year. This is yet another stellar example of how Nadao ended up excelling at what they don't plan to do (producing series) than what they do intend (managing artists/boy groups). 9x9 was a successful project though, don't get me wrong, I'm just trying to make the case that IFWT is more successful than P'Yong probably intended it to be (though P'Yong was pretty ambitious with this project himself, getting all the experienced older lakorn actors into this so perhaps he did plan for it to be that successful).

Even though, there were many Nadao artists that left before they closed down like James, Peach, Nonkul... I really like that most Nadao artists remained very close with their fellow Nadao peers, and often times ending up in same projects together once again. This year, a few notable reunions off the top of my head is Nonkul and Ud Awat in a horror zombie film Operation Undead (currently out in cinemas), Tor and JJ in thriller series Spare Me Your Mercy (currently filming), Nonkul and Captain in the Mouse TH remake (just wrapped filming).

I'm always sad about Nadao closing down but seeing how most former Nadao artists have no trouble finding works on their own after its closing, I'm very happy to see them flourishing and doing their own thing. I love that there's a huge family energy when it comes to Nadao because the senior artists always consider their junior like their little brothers and sisters (Ice Paris being the MC for both DICE and BUS showcases, Tor and Ice being the MCs for the 789 Survival). P'Yong has previously talked about how "Nadao isn't just a company, it's like a home. That's why when some of their artist left Nadao, P'Yong considered it more as them "graduating" so they can grow and build path on their own."

Below is a clip of Tor talking about how grateful he is to P'Yong (if you watch 9x9 documentary and some other interviews Tor did, you'll see that P'Yong can be quite harsh to him and put much pressure on Tor (and other Nadao artists as well) but they all seem to look up to him like a parental figure)

Not to mention, if you are a fan of Hormones, the girls always have their annual reunions and it always warms my heart to see how close they still are with each other.

Sighs... I almost completely forgot the question again. But yea Nadao definitely could have stayed and given us more magnum opus because I personally haven't had enough at all but it's great to see P'Yong happy with his successful groups and the former Nadao artists going on their own individual paths while maintaining good relations with P'Yong and Nadao/GDH creative crew (directors, producers, writers...)

[sarucane]

OFMD Spiral Narrative Analysis 40: Izzy Being Wrong Part 1

Intro: What I love most about how season 2 builds on season 1 of OFMD is the spiral narrative structure. Ground is repeatedly and explicitly re-trod from season 1 to season 2, but in season 2 everything goes deeper than season 1. Meanings are shuffled, emotions are stronger and truer, and transformation is showcased above everything. The first season plucks certain notes, then the second season plucks the same ones--but louder, and then it weaves them together to create a symphony.

---

Most of these posts are about scenes in OFMD that repeat certain element from season 1 to season 2, but this little series is going to be looking more closely at Izzy and how his character arc spirals to its conclusion.

This was inspired by my noticing in a rewatch that in season 1, Izzy is like always wrong. Always. Almost every scene he's in, he's wrong. And the interesting thing here is that Izzy actually doesn't know about this. When he says something, he seems to believe it. He isn't lying. He's just wrong. Here's how:

He makes a statement that is factually incorrect or proved wrong by later events within the same episode

2. He demonstrates a profoundly inaccurate understanding, which is later contradicted by his own character development and/or by the show's overall narrative itself.

So, shall we begin?

Episode 1: Shout-out to Izzy's first scene, where he does actually manage to (mostly) accurately read a situation: Stede and company are, indeed, idiots.

That said, this does still juuust barely fall under category 2, because this assessment of Stede is later complicated by this scene

In the first season, Izzy hangs on to his idea of Stede as moron long past where it's useful. In the second, he gets that Stede isn't actually an idiot, he just has 0 skills, and he hilariously marvels at how this somehow doesn't translate into death.

Then there's this Category 1 scene, where Buttons says he thought the island was deserted and Izzy says this. Izzy's clearly suggesting that he and the boys are the only ones here, but there's a whole village of indigenous people living this island.

Nope. Category 1

Is Ed half insane though? Or is he just weird? And trapped? Putting that in category 2.

Episode 2:

He was. Category 1 and 2.

You're a pirate, Izzy. Don't make excuses. Category 1.

The future of Izzy, Ed, and this crew will not follow this narrative. Category 2.

When Izzy meets Stede at Jackie's, he does actually manage to avoid both categories. That said, he also manages to not actually tell Stede who he's working for, so still got a definite thread of untruth there.

Category 1 here: no you didn't, Izzy. You just thought you did. A misunderstanding on Izzy's part that actually rebounds on him: if Stede has met Ed after being brought to Ed's freaky room, on Ed's ship, and hearing god-knows-what from Izzy before he went in for the meeting...seems likely that things would have turned out very differently.

Episode 3

Yes but also no, Izzy. And worth noting that despite the embarrassing performance here, the ship actually is repaired a few hours later, so they managed in the end.

These both fall firmly into category 2. Izzy's going to die for these people he's calling useless and planning to murder.

Ed has a plan, and has the whole time. Category 1.

They're eating right now, Izzy, so clearly they do get food when they've been invaded.

No they don't, they live at Ed's pleasure, and Izzy's very clearly the only one who wants to kill them. Ivan whacks Pete a few times (I think Ivan might remember him...), but in this scene Fang and Ivan are just chilling in the background the entire time. The situation's already gotten well away from Izzy, even though he clearly doesn't understand that: category 2.

Category 2. Izzy refers to the "years" he's spent with Ed one more time, in season 2.

The second scene casts the first scene in rather a different light. How much of Ed's erratic behavior was actual mania, and how much of it was him acting out to try to escape a situation he felt trapped in? A situation whose continuation Izzy worked for years to maintain. When we first meet him with Izzy, Ed's sitting alone in a dark room. How long had Izzy been the only intermediary between Ed and the world?

Izzy in the first scene is describing his woes as a middle manager, making sure Ed could stay Blackbeard. But doing that was closing off avenues of possible escape for Ed. Izzy in the second scene is acknowledging that this was...just not an okay thing to do. And that it was about him, not Ed.

Nope.