#Windows OS Tips

[hackeocafe]

12 Windows Services That Are Safe to Disable

12 Windows Services That Are Safe to Disable. Windows 11 and Windows 10 have a lot of services that people don't need and these can take up system resources. So today, I will show you services that are safe to disable and gain back that precious resources on your PC.

[windcarvedlyre]

OH, in other news I finally got genshin running on linux with no graphical issues. It was annoying- I really hope mihoyo considers official linux support once windows 10 reaches end of life in october- but that means I'm no longer tied to windows 10 myself \o/ good riddance

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

Oh yeah! Reblogging to add my friend's tags:

#if you set your computer to a metered connection it can't update without your consent (:

This works on Windows 10, not sure about 11 yet though. (It's in the Settings menu, network settings, and I think you have to go into the settings for the specific network you're connected to. If you do a network reset, it removes that setting, so be sure to set it back afterwards!)

Also I believe no piece of software except for internet browsers should have always online internet connection. In fact, if you have something like an multiplayer game, you should go and click a very visible, very noticeable button that allows it to connect to the internet. If there is an update to an application, even your own OS, it should be in a very, very visible notification and only start with your express consent. You should be able to tell when something in your computer is connected to the internet. If you update your program in the background you should be shot.

[sofiaflorina2021]

This is a Very Unconventional Way to Uninstall a Program Right?

Like this, I ever installed an application and somehow I didn't know how to uninstall it so I just deleted all of its files from program files folder, included its uninstall file. Little did I know that the cache of it still appear in the settings. 

When I wanted to uninstall it Windows told me that Windows cannot find uninstall.exe. After looking for the solution online, I did a very unconventional way to delete it, I deleted the program key from Windows Registry. After that, I can delete the cache of that application. 

I'm actually scared of what I've done but I'm pretty sure that I only deleted one folder from the registry, the folder titled the name of the application developer. It is one of the most important parts of Microsoft Windows operating system. Hopefully there won't be any problems with my sister's laptop.

[nyoomerr]

Luo Binghe Shimeji (Extended Version!)

a couple years ago, riladoo created an adorable binghe shime! he could be picked up and tossed around your computer screens, climb around on all your windows, multiply, and all the other cute things that come in the standard base shimeji set.

more recently, i reached out to riladoo with a commission request - more action sets for binghe! over the past couple months, riladoo has worked hard to make some adorable binghe art, and i've updated all the source code and config files to accommodate the new actions! 🎉

the extended action set includes: - a 'sit and eat' idle action - two 'head patting' actions when the mouse hovers over him - a 'fall and cry' action for when he falls from tall heights - a 'land nicely' action for when you place him down gently

the original binghe shime listing on riladoo's gumroad has been updated to have all these new actions, so go grab him now!! he's free / pay what you want! 🥰

i've put more details about the new action sets + general shimeji setup tips below the cut, but otherwise -- LET THE BINGHE COMPUTER INFECTION COMMENCE !!

**these extended actions only work on windows, not mac. sorry ;w; the original shime set has a mac version, though!

Extended Action Set Details

when you download the files from riladoo, you're looking for the .zip file labeled "Updated Shime code" !

sit and eat this is an idle action that will trigger randomly the same as any other idle action. if you want to trigger it manually, you can right click the shime -> 'set behavior' -> 'sit and eat'

head pats these are 'stay' actions that will trigger automatically when you hover your mouse over the shime. i recommend hovering your mouse over his head for maximum head-pat-effectiveness! unfortunately, this action won't play if the shime is actively climbing a wall/ceiling - maybe in the future this can be extended further, but for now there are only head patting actions for sitting and standing poses :>

falling variations (crying / default / land nicely) there are now a total of 3 'falling' actions. to see the 'fall and cry' action, allow binghe to fall from the top half of your monitor. to see the standard/original 'fall and trip' action, allow binghe to fall from the low-mid range portion of your monitor. to see the 'land nicely' action, gently place binghe down at the bottom of your monitor. this means you're rewarded for catching binghe when he falls off a window - if you catch him and set him down, he lands nicely, but if you let him fall normally, he'll start crying!! 🥰

Shimeji Installation Tips

if you've never had a shimeji before - don't worry, they're super easy to install! i recommend following this video tutorial created by the person who originally created the source code for shimeji. you can skip the parts about downloading the shimeji itself - you'll get that from riladoo's website :>

if you install everything but opening the shimeji executable does nothing, download jarfix to resolve this issue.

if you follow the tutorial and update the 'interactive windows' but the shime still doesn't stand/climb on the specified windows, restart your computer to resolve this issue. alternatively, make sure you don't have any 'unexpected' monitors plugged in - a friend of mine had their shime constantly falling down through their monitor onto their screen drawpad, which was confusing until it got figured out!

if you are on mac instead of windows.... i am so sorry i actually have no idea how to help 🙇‍♂️ the original/default binghe shimeji set DOES have a mac os folder in with the downloads, but i've never tested it (don't use mac), and even if it works, it won't include the extended actions (i didn't build an executable for mac with the new code).

More Questions???

feel free to hit me up! in the replies of this post / through DMs / send an ask - whatever is best for you. i'll tag any asks i get about the shime with #binghe shime chronicles so they get archived nicely. i got very familiar with all the source code / config files to get this lil guy set up with his extended actions, so hopefully i can answer any questions you have! 💪😤

that's all!! i am so happy w how the new actions turned out - the art riladoo did for them is SO cute! - and i hope y'all will be, too!

[dragonmarquise]

How to Deal with Windows 10/11 Nonsense

This is more for my own reference to keep all of this on one post. But hopefully others will find this useful too! So yeah, as the title says, this is a to organize links and resources related to handling/removing nonsense from Windows 10 and Windows 11. Especially bloatware and stuff like that Copilot AI thing.

First and foremost, there's O&O Software's ShutUp10++ (an antispy tool that help give you more control over Windows settings) and App Buster (helps remove bloatware and manage applications). I've used these myself for Windows 10 and they work great, and the developers have stated that these should work with Windows 11 too!

10AppsManager is another bloatware/app management tool, though at the moment it seems to only work on Windows 10.

Winaero Tweaker, similar to ShupUp10++ in that it gives you more control over Windows to disable some of the more annoying settings, such as disabling web search from the taskbar/start menu and disabling ads/tips/suggestions in different parts of the OS. I think ShupUp10++ covers the same options as this one, but I'm not entirely sure.

OpenShell, helps simplify the Start Menu and make it look more like the classic start menu from older versions of Windows. Should work with both 10 and 11 according to the readme.

Notes on how to remove that one horrible AI spying snapshots feature that's being rolled out on Windows 11 right now.

Article on how to remove Copilot (an AI assistant) from Windows 11. (Edit 11/20/2024) Plus a post with notes on how to remove it from Windows 10 too, since apparently it's not just limited to 11 now.

Win11Debloat, a simple script that can be used to automatically remove pretty much all of the bullshit from both 10 and 11, though a lot of its features are focused on fixing Windows 11 in particular (hence the name). Also has options you can set to pick and choose what changes you want!

Article on how to set up Windows 11 with a local account on a new computer, instead of having to log in with a Microsoft account. To me, this is especially important because I much prefer having a local account than let Microsoft have access to my stuff via a cloud account. Also note this article and this article for more or less the same process.

I will add to this as I find more resources. I'm hoping to avoid Windows 11 for as long as possible, and I've already been used the O&O apps to keep Windows 10 trimmed down and controlled. But if all else fails and I have to use Windows 11 on a new computer, then I plan to be as prepared as possible.

Edit 11/1/2024: Two extra things I wanted to add onto here.

A recommended Linux distro for people who want to use Linux instead of Windows.

How to run a Windows app on Linux, using Wine. Note that this will not work for every app out there, though a lot of people out there are working on testing different apps and figuring out how to get them to work in Wine.

The main app I use to help with my art (specifically for 3D models to make references when I need it) is Windows only. If I could get it to work on Linux, it would give me no reason to use Windows outside of my work computer tbh (which is a company laptop anyways).

[simmattically]

Create Your Own Main Menu for The Sims 4 - Tutorial

Hey folks!

This tutorial will walk you through creating your own main menu override for The Sims 4 based on my custom repository.

_________

What is required:

JPEXS Free Flash Decompiler

Sims 4 Studio

Raster graphics editor (e.g. Photoshop, Gimp, Photopea)

Your Own Main Menu repository

_________

Step 1: Download and unzip the Your Own Main Menu repository

It's available on my Patreon page for free.

_________

Step 2: Prepare your custom images

There are two images that you need to customize:

SimMattically_YourOwnMainMenu_MainBG.pngThis is the main background image, where you want to put the desired graphic.Size: 1440px x 1200px

SimMattically_YourOwnMainMenu_BarBG.pngThis is the second background for the navigation bar on the right.Size: 480px x 1200px

Prepare your own images based on these templates. Do not change the size of the images.

Tips: If you're using a more complex background, such as a screenshot from your game, I recommend blurring the Bar_BG with a Gaussian Blur (~60px). Additionally, I suggest adding a white overlay with ~50% opacity and a 5-pixel wide white bar on the left edge with ~10% opacity. This helps improve the readability of the navigation bar buttons and adds an extra layer of detail to your menu design.

The repository also contains the optional file "SimMattically_RefreshedMainMenu_ScenarioButton.package" from my other mod, which replaces the Scenario button icon with a semi-transparent white version. It's up to you whether you want to use it.

_________

Step 3: Import the images to the .GFX file

Firstly, open JPEXS Free Flash Decompiler and then open my SimMattically_YourOwnMainMenu_Template.gfx with it.

Select "No to all" when prompted. 

On the left, choose "images" and scroll to the bottom where you will see the images you just edited in their original form. Right-click on each and select "Replace." Select the custom images you prepared in step 2.

Save the file.

_________

Step 4: Import the .GFX file into the .package file.

Open Sims 4 Studio, then click on "My Projects" and open SimMattically_YourOwnMainMenu.package. Select "Scale Form GFX" (the one with the "gameentrylauncher" description) and click on "Import." Select the modified .GFX file and import it. On Windows OS, you need to switch from .binary to all file types to see the file.

Save the .package file via File -> Save As... Give it a custom name and place it in The Sims 4/Mods folder.

That's it! Enjoy!

_________

IMPORTANT INFORMATION/TERMS OF USE:

Main menu overrides can become outdated with some game updates, causing them to break the game. You will have to remake your custom main menu with a new, updated template in this case. Always make sure you are using the latest available template and that it's not outdated.

Since these mods can break the game, I do not advise sharing your custom main menus with other players. You are free to do so, but be aware that since you're relying on this repository to create your own version, you most likely won't be able to update the mod and resolve issues for other players on your own, so you take responsibility for breaking their game.

If you decide to share your version with other players, please credit my repository and link to my Patreon post.

Do not put your custom main menu based on this repository behind any paywall or early access. I made this repository and tutorial free for everyone, so keep it fair.

I do not take responsibility for people misusing this repository or breaking your game with incorrectly modified files. I do not provide support for custom main menu overrides created by other creators using this repository.

_________

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

For anyone wondering about my computer, here's the current dealio:

graphics card issue resolved by installing Steam from the Steam site; apparently the one in the app store is an alternate version that's notoriously buggy. Thanks lapsuslapsiis and purple-hel for tipping me off about this.

the game that was experiencing said issue runs now, but it for some reason so laggy as to literally be unplayable (which, since the issue was a graphics memory space thing, makes me really really hope that the issue is actually resolved and this isn't same issue different symptom). I have some fresh new ram coming in the mail so if it's a general memory issue then that might solve it.

I thought that switching hard drives had solved the freezing issue; turns out it hasn't. Freezing seems to be less frequent, which might mean something (since the OS switch I've got a lot more free space on the hard drive, so if it's a memory issue then there might be more wiggle room there) or it might just be random. Again, I've got ram coming in the mail, so that'll either solve the issue or it won't.

Since switching to Linux, I've experienced a fair bit of general lag; programs are much slower to respond, and are especially a lot slower to open, than they were on Windows. Computer people might recognise this as "the exact opposite of what most people experience when trading Windows for Linux". Linux has always been as fast or faster on my other computers but it's slow here. I might be totally off-base here but this also leads me to suspect a memory hardware issue -- lagging and freezing are probably the same problem, and less demand on the computer systems might just mean trading lagging for some of the freezing.

I floated earlier that the freezing might actually be the computer suddenly failing to recognise all input devices, which are all USB devices (I've had issues with it recognising my internet dongle, also USB, before). Since it's either a hardware issue or a bios issue (sudden onset makes me think hardware), I was worried that this might mean something fucked on the motherboard. We can put this theory to rest -- it's now frozen multiple times during youtube videos and when it does, the videos freeze and loop about 1 second of sound. It's definitely freezing, not just failing all inputs.

So in conclusion, I've got 8GB of ram in this thing and I suspect some of it might be broken, and there's 64GB of shiny new ram coming in the mail to replace it, and the switch will either fix all of my problems or it won't. If I keep randomly guessing then something I try will have to work eventually. If it doesn't work then it might be a video card software issue re: Nvidia on Linux, and also a hardware motherboard issue causing the freezes that had me switch in the first place, but I'm hoping it's the ram thing which is so much cheaper and easier to fix.

Also this beast has had memory issues for literal years at this point so this might just be the tipping point re: ram.

[alongtidesoflight]

in wake of yet another wave of people being turned off by windows, here's a guide on how to dual boot windows and 🐧 linux 🐧 (useful for when you're not sure if you wanna make the switch and just wanna experiment with the OS for a bit!)

if you look up followup guides online you're gonna see that people are telling you to use ubuntu but i am gonna show you how to do this using kubuntu instead because fuck GNOME. all my homies hate GNOME.

i'm just kidding, use whatever distro you like. my favorite's kubuntu (for a beginner home environment). read up on the others if you're curious. and don't let some rando on reddit tell you that you need pop! OS for gaming. gaming on linux is possible without it.

why kubuntu?

- it's very user friendly

- it comes with applications people might already be familiar with (VLC player and firefox for example)

- libreoffice already preinstalled

- no GNOME (sorry GNOME enthusiasts, let me old man yell at the clouds) (also i'm playing this up for the laughs. wholesome kde/gnome meme at the bottom of this post.)

for people who are interested in this beyond my tl;dr: read this

(if you're a linux user, don't expect any tech wizardry here. i know there's a billion other and arguably better ways to do x y and/or z. what i'm trying to do here is to keep these instructions previous windows user friendly. point and click. no CLI bro, it'll scare the less tech savvy hoes. no vim supremacy talk (although hell yeah vim supremacy). if they like the OS they'll figure out bash all by themselves in no time.)

first of all, there'll be a GUI. you don't need to type lines of code to get this all running. we're not going for the ✨hackerman aesthetics✨ today. grab a mouse and a keyboard and you're good to go.

what you need is a computer/laptop/etc with enough disk space to install both windows and linux on it. i'm recommending to reserve at least a 100gb for the both of them. in the process of this you'll learn how to re-allocate disk space either way and you'll learn how to give and take some, we'll do a bit of disk partitioning to fit them both on a single disk.

and that's enough babbling for now, let's get to the actual tutorial:

🚨IMPORTANT. DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS ON A 32BIT SYSTEM. ONLY DO THIS IF YOU'RE WORKING WITH A 64BIT SYSTEM. 🚨 (win10 and win11: settings -> system -> about -> device specifications -> system type ) it should say 64bit operating system, x64-based processor.

step 1: install windows on your computer FIRST. my favorite way of doing this is by creating an installation media with rufus. you can either grab and prepare two usb sticks for each OS, or you can prepare them one after the other. (pro tip: get two usb sticks, that way you can label them and store them away in case you need to reinstall windows/linux or want to install it somewhere else)

in order to do this, you need to download three things:

rufus

win10 (listen. i know switching to win11 is difficult. not much of a fan of it either. but support's gonna end for good. you will run into hiccups. it'll be frustrating for everyone involved. hate to say it, but in this case i'd opt for installing its dreadful successor over there ->) or win11

kubuntu (the download at the top is always the latest, most up-to-date one)

when grabbing your windows installation of choice pick this option here, not the media creation tool option at the top of the page:

side note: there's also very legit key sellers out there who can hook you up with cheap keys. you're allowed to do that if you use those keys privately. don't do this in an enterprise environment though. and don't waste money on it if your ultimate goal is to switch to linux entirely at one point.

from here it's very easy sailing. plug your usb drive into your computer and fire up rufus (just double click it).

🚨two very important things though!!!!!!:🚨

triple check your usb device. whatever one you selected will get wiped entirely in order to make space for your installation media. if you want to be on the safe side only plug in the ONE usb stick you want to use. and back up any music, pictures or whatever else you had on there before or it'll be gone forever.

you can only install ONE OS on ONE usb drive. so you need to do this twice, once with your kubuntu iso and once with your windows iso, on a different drive each.

done. now you can dispense windows and linux left and right, whenever and wherever you feel like it. you could, for example, start with your designated dual boot device. installing windows is now as simple as plugging the usb device into your computer and booting it up. from there, click your way through the installation process and come back to this tutorial when you're ready.

step 2: preparing the disks for a dual boot setup

on your fresh install, find your disk partitions. in your search bar enter either "diskmgr" and hit enter or just type "partitions". the former opens your disk manager right away, the latter serves you up with this "create and format hard disk partitions" search result and that's what you're gonna be clicking.

you'll end up on a screen that looks more or less like in the screenshot below. depending on how many disks you've installed this might look different, but the basic gist is the same. we're going to snip a little bit off Disk 0 and make space for kubuntu on it. my screenshot isn't the best example because i'm using the whole disk and in order to practice what i preach i'd have to go against my own advice. that piece of advice is: if this screen intimidates you and you're not sure what you're doing here, hands off your (C:) drive, EFI system, and recovery partition. however, if you're feeling particularly fearless, go check out the amount of "free space" to the right. is there more than 30gb left available? if so, you're free to right click your (C:) drive and click "shrink volume"

this screen will pop up:

the minimum disk space required for kubuntu is 25gb. the recommended one is 50gb. for an installation like this, about 30gb are enough. in order to do that, simply change the value at

Enter the amount of space to shrink in MB: to 30000

and hit Shrink.

once that's done your partitions will have changed and unallocated space at about the size of 30gb should be visible under Disk 0 at the bottom like in the bottom left of this screenshot (courtesy of microsoft.com):

this is gonna be kubuntu's new home on your disk.

step 3: boot order, BIOS/UEFI changes

all you need to do now is plug the kubuntu-usb drive you prepared earlier with rufus into your computer again and reboot that bad boy.

the next step has no screenshots. we're heading into your UEFI/BIOS (by hitting a specific key (like ESC, F10, Enter) while your computer boots up) and that'll look different for everyone reading this. if this section has you completely lost, google how to do these steps for your machine.

a good search term would be: "[YOUR DEVICE (i.e Lenovo, your mainboard's name, etc.)] change boot order"

what you need to do is to tell your computer to boot your USB before it tries to boot up windows. otherwise you won't be able to install kubuntu.

this can be done by entering your BIOS/UEFI and navigating to a point called something along the lines of "boot". from "boot order" to "booting devices" to "startup configuration", it could be called anything.

what'll be a common point though is that it'll list all your bootable devices. the topmost one is usually the one that boots up first, so if your usb is anywhere below that, make sure to drag and drop or otherwise move it to the top.

when you're done navigate to Save & Exit. your computer will then boot up kubuntu's install wizard. you'll be greeted with this:

shocker, i know, but click "Install Kubuntu" on the right.

step 4: kubuntu installation

this is a guided installation. just like when you're installing windows you'll be prompted when you need to make changes. if i remember correctly it's going to ask you for your preferred keyboard layout, a network connection, additional software you might want to install, and all of that is up to you.

but once you reach the point where it asks you where you want to install kubuntu we'll have to make a couple of important choices.

🚨 another important note 🚨

do NOT pick any of the top three options. they will overwrite your already existing windows installation.

click manual instead. we're going to point it to our unallocated disk space. hit continue. you will be shown another disk partition screen.

what you're looking for are your 30gb of free space. just like with the USB drive when we were working with rufus, make sure you're picking the right one. triple check at the very least. the chosen disk will get wiped.

click it until the screen "create a new partition" pops up.

change the following settings to:

New partition size in megabytes: 512

Use as: EFI System Partition

hit OK.

click your free space again. same procedure.

change the following settings to:

New partition size in megabytes: 8000 (*this might be different in your case, read on.)

Use As: Swap Area

hit OK

click your free space a third time. we need one more partition.

change the following settings to:

don't change anything about the partition size this time. we're letting it use up the rest of the resources.

Use as: Ext4 journaling system

Mount Point: /

you're done here as well.

*about the 8000 megabytes in the second step: this is about your RAM size. if you have 4gb instead type 4000, and so on.

once you're sure your configuration is good and ready to go, hit "Install Now". up until here you can go back and make changes to your settings. once you've clicked the button, there's no going back.

finally, select your timezone and create a user account. then hit continue. the installation should finish up... and you'll be good to go.

you'll be told to remove the USB drive from your computer and reboot your machine.

now when your computer boots up, you should end up on a black screen with a little bit of text in the top left corner. ubuntu and windows boot manager should be mentioned there. naturally, when you click ubuntu you will boot into your kubuntu. likewise if you hit windows boot manager your windows login screen will come up.

and that's that folks. go ham on messing around with your linux distro. customize it to your liking. make yourself familiar with the shell (on kubuntu, when you're on your desktop, hit CTRL+ALT+T).

for starters, you could feed it the first commands i always punch into fresh Linux installs:

sudo apt-get update

sudo apt-get upgrade

sudo apt-get install vim

(you'll thank me for the vim one later)

turn your back on windows. taste freedom. nothing sexier than open source, baby.

sources (mainly for the pictures): 1, 2

further reading for the curious: 1, 2

linux basics (includes CLI commands)

kubuntu documentation (this is your new best friend. it'll tell you everything about kubuntu that you need to know.

and finally the promised kde/gnome meme:

[hp-hcs]

Yandere Theo & Enzo x male muggle reader

Where they both go out one night to see what the outside of the wizarding world is like and bump into a muggle (the reader) who lets them stay at his house and shows them around, thinking they’re tourists.

But they fall madly in love with him and now when they have to go back to hogwarts they kidnap him and take him with them.

The reader is stuck in their room, a spell cast where he can’t leave and he’s freaking out.

+ can they be like super touchy with him and affectionate and possessive and he’s just thinking that it’s like a normal thing from “whatever country they’re from”

T h a n k s (:

OH i wish i had a tenth of the imagination y’all have i mean cmon y’all be out here bringing the most well thought out ideas and my fics are all just like “l i ght hu ose 👍🥰👍”

oh also i don’t speak italian so if i fucked up that’s why lmfao i took fucking latin in high school, not anything actually useful 🥲

requests open!

BIC — yandere! enzo berkshire x male! muggle! reader x yandere! theodore nott

warnings: kidnapping/abduction, infatuation (?), implied tobacco use

(also ik they wouldn’t be using US dollars but shhhh)

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“Oh, Merlin, my father is going to kill me-”

“Relax,” Theo rolled his eyes, a bit winded from Apparating. “Think of it as just a… fifteen minute excursion. Tops.”

“Right, tops,” Enzo mumbled anxiously, rubbing his freezing hands together as another gust of snow blew past.

As he stamped his feet in an attempt to get feeling back into his frigid lower limbs, Enzo looked through the windows of the damned store Theo just had to show him. (There’s this one boy there, Enz, and he’s just gorgeous. You gotta see him.)

Large posters dominated most of the windows, advertising things Enzo had never heard of before, like whatever a ‘Monster Java’ and ‘Geekvape’ was. Stacked outside the store was an entire shelving unit of something called ‘propane’.

Through the windows, Enz could see rows upon rows of candy, chips, snacks, sodas, all in obnoxiously saturated colored packaging. A buzzing neon sign that hurt to look at flashed the word OPEN in blue and red.

This store was awesome.

Lorenzo looked up at the half burnt-out sign above the door that proclaimed this magically wonderful place to be the shop of ‘Jacksons’.

A small bell chimed when Theo pulled open the door, startling Enzo. He followed his much more confident friend inside the store, looking around with wide eyes.

Theodore stopped him with a hand on his shoulder, leaning in to whisper into his ear.

“Okay, the guy I was telling you about? He’s kind of under the impression that I’m like, a tourist from out of the country, and that’s why we’re so unfamiliar with their wares. If he asks, we’re Italian exchange students and only speak shitty English, got it?”

Enzo nodded. As if on cue, a ‘Jacksons’ employee popped up out of seemingly nowhere, startling the fuck out of him.

“Hiya, Theodore!”

The employee—a boy around their age, maybe seventeen at the most—was unusually chipper for 10PM on a Sunday.

This must be the guy.

“Who’s your friend here, Theodore?” You asked, smiling.

“Hello, Y/N! This is Lorenzo.”

“Hello,” Enzo greeted softly, his cheeks flushed pink from the snowstorm outside (and that’s the only reason, Theo, stop laughing.)

“Can I help you boys find anything or’re y’all just looking around?”

Enzo couldn’t look away from you. How small you seemed in comparison to his awkwardly lanky height, the way the harsh fluorescents cast dramatic shadows of your eyelashes across your cheekbones, the light blush on the tips of your ears as you looked at Theodore.

Theodore.

He’d said your name. You’d said his name. You knew each other?

How often does he fucking come here? Enzo wondered, a sharp stab of jealousy running through him.

“Cigarettes,” Theo said immediately, exaggerating his usually undetectable accent to an honestly ridiculous amount. Enzo bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing at his friend’s ridiculousness.

You just smiled and ducked behind the counter. “Same as last time, or’re you trying something new?”

“Same, please. And un accendino, please,” Theo made a clicking motion with his thumb, indicating a lighter.

You nod, easily pulling down a pack of Marlboro Red without a second thought.

How often does he come here? Enzo wondered for a second time. Enough that you know his favorite kind of cigarette.

“Cheap lighter or d’you wanna go fancy?”

“Cheap, please.”

“Alrighty, one BIC lighter coming up for ya,” you grabbed a lighter off the back wall behind the counter, setting it down by the cash register.

Enzo couldn’t help himself as he stared at the bright blue chunk of… what did Muggles call it again? Plastic.

“Bic?”

You glanced up at his timid voice, shooting him a grin that was just a bit friendlier than the classic customer-service smile. “BIC. It’s just the brand. They make cheap lighters and also pens, for some reason.”

Enzo wanted to ask what a ‘pen’ was, but he had a feeling that that was a terrible idea.

“$7.98. Cash, I assume?”

Theo, for the first time, genuinely faltered, cringing apologetically as he laid down the mess of all-identical green papers on the countertop.

You smiled patiently, plucking one paper out of the spread and pushing a few buttons on the cash register, then returning two papers and a handful of coins to a baffled Theo.

Fucking Muggles, with their impossible-to-memorize currency.

“Damn. It’s really coming down out there,” you shook your head as you peered out the front window of the store, waiting for the long white piece of paper to stop moving from the odd humming machine that sat next to the cash register. “Where’re y’all staying? I don’t think you guys should try to drive home in this.”

They follow your gaze, eyes widening when they see how high the snow has risen. The storm had gotten much, much worse.

“Hey- where is your car, anyway? The parking lot’s empty,” your eyebrows furrowed as you turned back to them with a quizzical face.

Enzo mentally panicked. He knew the word ‘car’—he probably heard it while only half-paying attention in Muggle Studies—but he couldn’t for the life of him remember what a ‘car’ was.

“We walked,” Theo said quickly, jumping in and taking hold of the conversation.

“You walked?” You asked, clearly horrified. “No, no. I can’t in good conscience let you two walk back in this. Haven’t you seen the weather? It’s supposed to be like, nearly a blizzard! Worst snowstorm of the decade!”

Lorenzo’s eyes widened.

Muggles could predict the weather? Holy Salazar, his parents might’ve been wrong about Muggles’ intelligence.

You misinterpreted the way his eyes widened. “Listen, this sounds crazy, but would you guys like, consider crashing at my apartment? Just for the night? Maybe the snow’ll clear up overnight.”

Theo opened his mouth to protest, no, really, we couldn’t take advantage of such hospitality, Y/N, but Lorenzo interrupted.

“We would much like that,” he said firmly. “If it is no problem for you.”

Staying at this hot guy’s apartment for the night? Duh, that’s an obvious yes.

“It’s no problem,” you wave off his concern. “‘sides, wouldn’t want a pair of pretty boys such as yourselves to freeze to death, now would I?”

Theo stiffened and blushed bright red at that, a dopey smile spreading across his face.

Oh Merlin, were you two flirting with each other? Enzo felt that sharp spark of jealousy flare up again in his chest, dampered only by the fact that it was Theo, and not anyone else.

“It’s just right across the street. Lemme close up shop for the night, and we can make a run for it,” you say with finality, ignore Theo’s weak protests.

They watched as you lock the cash register and counter with the practiced ease of someone who had done so many, many times.

You pulled the grate down over the cigarette shelves on the back wall, flicking off the overhead lights and tugging a tiny metal string that made the painfully bright OPEN sign go dark.

“Alright, let’s go,” you said, shooing them out onto the sidewalk, buttoning up your heavy winter coat, and locking the front door.

As you stuffed the keys back into your jeans pocket, Theodore rested his hand on the small of your back.

“Lead the way, bello,” he said with a charming grin. You nodded, smiling at the difference in cultures, wow! and motioning for them to follow you.

The boys followed you in a comfortable silence, shoulders hunched up as they braced themselves against the furiously icy wind.

You all crossed the street, Theodore and Enzo both baffled when a tiny light that looked like a person indicated it was safe to cross.

Your boots clanged on the shaky metal stairs up to the third floor of your apartment building, and your boys followed resolutely.

When they reached the landing, they were met by the image of your rather quaint front door, a tiny, clearly homemade wreath hanging on the center.

“This is it. Not much, I’m afraid,” you sighed, your freezing fingers fumbling with the key as you twisted it in the lock, opening the door for them. You flicked on the lights, illuminating the interior of the small apartment. “Do you guys want tea? Hot chocolate? Coffee, if y’all are psychopaths?”

“Perhaps it is a bit late for coffee,” Theo snickered at your dry humor as he stepped inside. “Tea, if it is not a hassle?”

“‘Course not. Make yourselves at home. My mother won’t be back for hours,” you chatted happily, setting a kettle of water on the stove to boil.

Theodore tentatively sat down at one of the kitchen chairs, looking around the small apartment in surprise. At your reassuring smile, Enzo sat down too, drumming his fingers against the table anxiously.

The kettle whistled after a few minutes, and you poured three mugs of tea, setting them on the table and settling down in one of the empty seats.

Theo reached for one, purposefully brushing his fingers against yours.

After that, it all goes blank.

~~~

Your eyes slowly cracked open, your head pounding and your stomach twisting and turning. You blinked away sleep, rubbing your eyes and yawning as you sat up in bed.

What happened last night?

You startled when your brain finally registers that you’re not in your apartment.

You sat up in a panic, looking around horrified when you don’t recognize your surroundings. The room itself was decorated with an honestly abhorrent amount of green and shiny silver. There were three other beds, identical to the one you were laying in, set up intermittently around the room.

A dorm? You wondered.

A huge window dominated the wall adjacent to the bed you were in, the view on the other side of it oddly distorted and warped.

You leaned in closer, confused, when a tiny yellow fish swam by.

You gasped, and put your hand on the glass to peer out even further.

Were you underwater?

Your amazement was interrupted by a large unidentifiable shadow filling the window. You frowned, your hand drawing back from the glass, when the shadowy shape moved, opening.

A giant fucking eye.

“Jesus fucking-”

You scrambled backwards, falling off of the bed with a yelp. While you fought with the blankets that seemed hell-bent on getting tangled around your legs, the giant eye slowly blinked before the shadowy form started moving again.

A giant squid, you thought with astonishment. There was a giant fucking squid outside of this dorm room’s window.

Finally wrenching yourself free of your blanket prison, you scrambled to your feet and sprinted towards the only door in the room. You jiggled the handle, cursing when it didn’t open.

There wasn’t even a lock, a keyhole, nothing.

How the hell was this door so firmly locked shut then?

Something tacked to the door- actually, there wasn’t a tack either. How was it stuck there?

But what caught your eye was a small scrap of… paper? Parchment? It looked like the paper your art teacher once showed you how to stain with tea.

Who the fuck still writes on parchment? You wondered, scrunching your eyebrows up in confusion as you examined the perfect swoops of calligraphy on the page.

Darling – We’re really sorry for taking you with us (please don’t hate us) and we'll be back here around noon Xoxo, Theo & Enzo (those actually are our real names we promise!!)

((we also might’ve made your mother forget about your existence so she doesn’t try to find you. you’re safe though, don’t worry!))

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

wow! people actually like my stuff enough that i now have a taglist??? (some of y’all weren’t showing up, so lmk if i need to troubleshoot 😭)

@gayaristocrat @slytherinboysappreciation @lemonaderiddle @h-------n @yournogoodalone @knave-hearts @schaebickel @lexacantsleep @big-brother-problems @darkcharmx @cyberbl4de @amandajonhsson @megannxn @catz-80 @ghostiesen @fruityfrog505 @coysa @fruitypebblesstuff @mildlyuninformative @glittervame @cayaevans1 @lizeylavender @cloudydaysinmydreams @ironickarkatlover @ahead-fullofdreams @tachyon-girl @jaythes1mp @lovelyfandomqueen @ashisgreedy

[maimingaffairs]

MY SWEET WRITER PLS DO ME FAVOUR OF A DARKLING AND FEM READER CARRIAGE SMUT . I need the desperation factor where they couldn’t even wait to get back to the little palace . In other terms extremely h o r n e y reader and darkling .

i hope u like and choose to write this if not it’s completely ok

thank u and stay safe u beautiful mind

this is just… somewhat plotless ;) IF U FEEL ME. all my work is done at 3 am so i apologize for the mediocrity. also this is literally just … porn with a slight plot. no other way to describe it. pls don’t interact unless ur 18+.

warnings: NSFW CONTENT. it’s literally just smut. it’s all just smut. smut under the cut just go away if ur a child

word count: 1.7k

Desperate (aleksander morozova x fem!reader)

The ride back to Os Alta was painfully long. You sat across from your husband and kept your eyes on his. His stare was heated and your fingers itched to reach for him. This was probably the most time you’d spent with him in the last few weeks because of his duties with the Second Army, and you wanted him. In any way that you could have him. 

You sat sandwiched between Feydor and Ivan who were bored and looking out the window. Aleksander’s eyes were wide and he was staring at you with a type of desire that made you press your thighs together underneath your dress. 

Of course, you still had hours to go before you reached the capital. Though, you weren’t sure you could make it. And by the look on your husband’s face, you could tell he was thinking the exact same thing. 

“Ivan. Feydor.” 

Both men turned their heads towards your husband as he spoke their names, and you bit your lip. 

“Get out.” Aleksander commanded sharply. His voice had a sharp edge to it and Ivan raised his eyebrows and shook his head. 

“What do you mean?” He asked incredulously. 

“What do I mean? I mean get out of this carriage immediately and ride a horse or something. Walk for all I care. Just get out.” He breathed. 

Ivan looked at him and then looked at you, seemingly not understanding what was going on. But he tapped the back of the carriage a few times hard and it came to a stop. When it stopped, he and Feydor climbed out and left the two of you alone. Your eyes once again met your husband’s and he unblinkingly stared back at you as the carriage lurched forward again. 

You couldn’t help your next action, because before you knew what you were doing, you had pushed yourself off of the seat across from him and threw yourself across the gap keeping you two apart. His hands received your clumsily tossed body with grace and reassurance, catching you by your waist. He tugged you onto his lap as comfortably as he could and lifted your skirts hurriedly, pushing them up to your knees so that you could easily straddle his lap. 

“You are never coming with me to camp again, do you understand me? You’re such a terrible temptation.” Aleksander groaned as you leaned forward to pepper sloppy kisses all over his neck. 

You only gave a hum in reply, rolling your hips down against his just once. He groaned and reached up behind you to grab a handful of your hair as gently as he could. He pulled your head away from his neck and brought you up to press a needy kiss to your lips. The desperation shared between your lips tasted delicious on your tongue and you let out a moan into his mouth. His fingers tightened in your hair and he pulled you closer, his nose pressing against yours as he kissed you. When the two of you had a desperate need for air, he pulled away from you, leaving you gasping and starving for him. 

His forehead laid upon yours and his jaw tightened as he held the back of your head with his free hand, “I’ve needed you so badly.” He grumbled, leaning forward to peck your lips a few times. 

“Just as I’ve needed you.” You managed to whisper out as you rolled your hips down against his again. 

He tipped his head backwards and closed his eyes with a quiet groan and he reached down to grab your waist with both of his hands, “Don’t be a tease.” He hummed, clicking his tongue. 

“Then touch me.” You pleaded and leaned your head down to rest against his shoulder. 

He wasted no time in pushing the hem of your dress up to your thighs and he slipped his hands underneath your skirts. He gripped your thighs tightly and pushed your legs apart and you took note of the wetness that pooled between your thighs. You bit down on your bottom lip and tucked your face into the crook of his neck, letting out a quiet whine. 

“Aleksander, please.” You whispered, pressing your lips against his skin. 

You swore you heard him growl quietly and he pushed your underwear aside swiftly. 

“You’re already so wet. Is that for me?” He asked cockily and you let out a little huff and rolled your hips forward. 

“No. Answer me.” He commanded sharply as he dragged the tip of his middle finger up your folds. 

You shivered deliciously and nodded once, face still pressed against his neck, “Yes. Always.” You breathed, and were instantly rewarded with his middle finger sliding inside of you slowly. You reached up and gripped his upper arms near his shoulders and you let out a quiet, relieved huff of air as he slowly curled his finger inside of you. 

He was wasting absolutely no time though, because before you could comprehend the first finger, he was sliding a second into you with ease. Normally, he’d take his time with you but you suspected his patience had been thrown to the wind with the way he’d started to pump his fingers in and out of you at a moderate pace. A moan fell from your lips and you pulled your head away from his shoulder to look into his eyes. 

You stared up into his lust-darkened eyes and bit down on your bottom lip just a bit. Your cheeks heated up a bit under his gaze and you leaned in to lay your forehead against his. A little, lazy grin formed on his lips and he moved his fingers a bit faster, leaving you whimpering his name quietly. 

A few moments of this had you close to your climax and you reached up to cup his cheeks. You leaned in to kiss him heatedly, but he pulled back after just a couple of seconds and he shook his head, feeling you tighten around his fingers. 

“No. Not yet. I want you to cum on my cock.” He growled and quickly pulled his fingers out of your cunt. 

You gasped in shock and opened your mouth to protest but he was faster than you. He silenced you before you could speak by sliding his pointer and middle fingers into your mouth. He raised his eyebrows at you as if to egg you on and you wrapped your lips around his fingers and licked them clean, enjoying the taste of yourself on his skin. He pulled his fingers out of your mouth and you hurriedly reached down between your bodies and unfastened his belt and undid his pants. You reached down into his pants and gently freed his nearly completely hard cock. He groaned quietly at your touch and you wrapped your fingers around him, slowly stroking him. 

The sound that came out of his mouth was heavenly, even more so the second time he moaned, because it was in the form of your name. You smiled, pleased with yourself, and you continued to stroke his cock until his hand was around your wrist and he was stopping you. 

“Stop. I need to be inside of you.” He breathed and adjusted you in his lap just a bit for comfort. He reached between the two of you and positioned himself at your entrance, his tip brushing against your folds, slick with your arousal. You were ready to whine and tell him to not be a tease before he wordlessly lifted you just a bit and lowered you down onto his cock. The movement had you gasping and you reached up to grab onto his shoulders while you adjusted to his size and sunk down onto him entirely. You flickered your gaze up to his and he gave you one quick smile before he grasped your waist and held you up while he set a rapid pace with his hips. You let out a loud moan that resembled his name somewhat and you tossed your head backwards, moving your hips with his, in time with his thrusts. 

It was likely the most unceremonious and rushed sex you’d ever had with your husband. Normally Aleksander took his time with you, made you beg and plead before he finally gave in and fucked you. Not now. The desperation between the two of you was palpable. 

You let out a soft whine and began to lift and drop your hips in time with his movements, holding onto his shoulders for rapport. He swore loudly and reached up with one hand to grab a handful of hair from the back of your head. 

“Fuck. I love you.” He growled and then pulled your head backwards with your hair. He lowered his lips down onto your throat and he flicked his tongue against your skin, “Such a good girl for me.” He mumbled, his voice making your skin vibrate. 

His free hand made its way between the two of you and he pressed his thumb down against your clit, rolling it in slow circles. You let out a cry and rolled your hips into his touch as you continued to bounce on his lap, meeting his hurried thrusts. You moaned out his name as you chased your orgasm, feeling it build up quickly inside of you once more. 

“I’m so close, Aleksander.” You whimpered, tightening your hold on his shoulders. 

“Do it. Cum.” He commanded through labored breaths against your neck. 

It didn’t take long for your climax to make you see white and you let out a gasp before you moaned his name, your head lolling backwards. Before you could even comprehend what was happening, you heard your husband moan in tandem with you and you felt his release just after your own. 

The two of you sat in silence for a long time trying to catch your breaths and come back down from your highs, Aleksander’s thumb lazily still moving around your clit. Finally, he moved his hand away from you and he wrapped both of his arms around you and pulled you down against his chest. 

“I’d like to say we were discreet but I reckon we are going to catch hell for this from Ivan and Feydor.” He mumbled, resting his cheek against your shoulder. 

You laughed and then shrugged, reaching up to run your fingers through his tousled hair. 

“It was worth all the hell in the world.”

[becauseplot]

It's over. It's done. It's over.

Forever is sobbing when Phil, Cellbit, and Bad walk back into to the room.

It's a desperate tangle of English and Portuguese that's spilling from his lips, nigh unintelligible. As the three of them make their way around the cell, Phil starts to desipher the words: "--faça parar! Faça parar! Please stop, please stop, PLEASE! Faça parar, por favor! Por favor...!"

Forever is curled up in the corner of his cell, face hidden in his hands, crying out for anyone, anyone to help him.

Phil swallows. Breathes.

He takes a step back and lets Cellbit step forward, taking up the view of the window. Cellbit starts to speak in Portuguese to Forever as Forever continues to wail, shrinking away from Cellbit and shaking something fierce. Cellbit asks Bad to remove the glass pane and Bad does so in a heartbeat.

"Olha para mim," Cellbit says with a voice that's firm and raw but not unkind. He takes a deep breath, feline tail swishing about his ankles, and holds a bar of the cell for support as he leans in closer. "Olha para mim, Forever. Abre os olhos. Por favor."

A few seconds pass. Forever's sobs wither out into wheezing breaths, and his trembling hands slide down his face. Bloodshot eyes peer up at Cellbit. Terrified. Confused.

And Cellbit begins to talk. Phil barely understands a word of it, but Cellbit is calm and clear in his speech. He holds up the syringe for Forever to see, pointing to its contents, and he talks Forever down when he starts begging again. Bad, meanwhile, kneels down behind Forever. He doesn't say anything, but he places a feather-light hand on Forever's back through the bars, oh so gentle and wary of his claws.

And Phil? Phil stands off to the side. He gives the two of them plenty of room, refusing to crowd Forever and send him into another fit of panic; but his shield is still strapped to his arm, and his axe still hangs in his hand at his side.

He won't hurt Forever. God, no, he won't hurt Forever, but Phil---Phil needs something to hold onto right now.

At last, Cellbit reaches through the large gap in the bars, holding out the syringe in an open hand. Forever sits and stares at it, throat bobbing in half-aborted sounds of doubt. He doesn't move to take it.

Phil shifts his wings. They'll hold him down and administer the antidote themselves if they have to, but no one here wants to force it on him. He's been through enough.

Thankfully, Forever finally uncurls himself from his corner just long enough to take the syringe. His fingers tremble around it so badly that Phil is afraid he'll drop it and the tube will shatter on the floor, spilling the precious medication, but he doesn't. He takes syringe and jabs it through the pearl-white fabric of his sleeve and into the meat of his arm and sinks the plunger.

Silence.

And then Forever howls. The sound rips out of him, head tipped back and tears spilling over his cheeks and jaw open wide, wide like someone reached down into his esophagus and tore his insides up and out through his mouth.

Cellbit squeezes his eyes shut and ducks away, ears pinned back. Bad knocks his forehead against the cold metal bars and makes a quiet, pained noise. Phil closes his eyes and puts a hand over his mouth and curls his wings around himself and leans on his axe because oh god, he feels like he's going to be sick.

The cry tapers off. Phil hears Cellbit hurry away and start talking to Pac on the other side of the room. Bad mutters something about the inventory scanners. Phil opens his eyes and sees Forever slumped in the corner of his cell, eyes glassy and chest rattling with every inhale. His hand lay at his side, the syringe held limply between his twitching fingers.

Phil approaches the cell and braces a hand on one of the bars. "Forever," he says. Forever doesn't so much as twitch. "Forever, can you hear me?"

Forever's gaze drags itself from the middle distance over to Phil. He blinks. His eyes flutter shut, and he sags back against the bars completely, a heap of limbs.

Phil stands there. Rubs a hand over his mouth. In the distance, there is the sound of soft, gentle Portuguese undercut by anxious mutterings. The click-clack of an inventory scanner being disarmed echoes off the walls. There's an outcry, raw and guttural. Forever's cell is dismantled with a thunk of a universal block breaker. Weeping reaches Phil's ears, muffled by an embrace, soothed by hushed reassurances.

And Forever lies sprawled out on the floor, eyes closed. Unmoving. Phil, for that matter, can't bring himself to move either. He stands, and he stares, and he breathes, and he watches Forever breathing.

"Is he okay?"

Phil jolts. He looks away from Forever to look up at Cellbit. The man's eyes are red, his mouth drawn tight.

Phil shrugs. It's barely more than a shift of his shoulders; it's all he can manage. "I don't know. I think he passed out."

Cellbit nods. "Okay. Okay." He exhales and drags his hands down his face with a shudder. "Jesus Christ, man..."

Yeah. Yeah, that just about sums it up.

[nautiscarader]

Since I’m back to taking the train to work… Wendy and Dipper find themselves on a long ride home. To pass the time, Wendy unzips his fly and slips her hand down his pants.

"Dude, there is no way this thing can levitate", Wendy stated plainly, looking at the enormous, massive, grey locomotive, producing thick clouds os steam and smoke.

"Oh, yeah, I was going to buy us the tickets for the super-fast maglev train, but then I've noticed that they took an authentic steam engine locomotive from retirement!", Dipper exclaimed, his smile widening with each word. "Think about it, instead of zooming through the country in 30 minutes, we can spend five hours in a real steam train! Isn't that exciting?"

Wendy rolled her eyes.

"Oh, joy…"

But as they've stepped inside, Wendy had to admit, that the experience was quite different, as the locomotive wasn't the only car that has been brought back to use. Gone were the clean, but sterile interiors, devoid of any character. Instead, the two had a small, but cozy and elegant compartment just for themselves, fitted with comfy seats and cushions. And Wendy had to admit, there was something amusing and comforting in listening to the rattling, steady, mechanical noises of what once was the pinnacle of technology.

Fifteen minutes later, however, she was bored.

She reached for her phone, but then, a devilish idea came to her head. She sneaked her hand to her boyfriend's leg, slowly moving her fingers towards his crotch.

"W-Wendy?!", Dipper turned his head, the rest of his body frozen with fear. All he could see was a subtle, sly smirk on her freckled face.

"Ssh, just relax", she whispered.

But Dipper was not afraid of being overheard.

"The-the curtains…", he pointed to the window door of their compartment, through which they could still see the corridor. "Someone can…"

"I know.", Wendy quickly stated, having finally dealt with Dipper's zipper, and fishing out his cock.

He let out a soft gasp, as air tingled with droplets of precum on his tip, sending shivers and twitches through his length, all of which were felt under her fingertips, delicately massaging every ridge and vein.

Dipper's rugged breathing hasn't ceased. If anything, it became more and more erratic, strengthened not only by Wendy's caresses, growing with intensity, but also by the speed of their vehicle, which was slowing down.

"First stop, I think", Wendy whispered, "You know what that means…"

And Dipper did know. There was already commotion in the adjacent compartment, and in a few minutes, the corridor would be full of potential onlookers. But he only recorded some of the sounds and sights, as he kept closing his eyes, leaning back with each furious stroke that brought him closer and closer to the edge.

And the mere thought of someone seeing his cock in her hand, covered in his seed in full display has pushed him to the limit.

"Wendy… Wendy… WENDY!", he cried, as his hips jerked, but not a drop of cum has stained their pristine, green seats.

Wendy dived into his laps, locking her lips around his twitching cock, meticulously drinking each shot of thick, warm cum.

Has anyone spotted them? Dipper heard people walking past their door, but all he could care about was his radiant girlfriend, accepting more and more proof of his love into her mouth.

And when she raised her head and sat back up, only one tiny droplet of pearly-white cum remained on her lips, which she quickly licked off.

The sound of her swallowing his load felt far louder than the one of the train's horn, when they began moving again.

"Wen… Wendy, that… that was…"

"Save your breath for later", Wendy quickly replied standing up to cover their window, leaving just a tiny slit between the two curtains. Only when she faced him he's noticed that her shirt was unbuttoned, revealing lack of bra.

"We still have… how much was it? Five hour ride ahead of us?"

In a single swoop, she straddled his laps, her jeans already undone.

"Come on, I want you to put those pistons to work", she gently slapped his hip, and pulled a condom from his pocket.

Dipper swallowed loudly. It was his last one, and if Wendy's desires were as hot as the coal powering this train, and they don't control their steam, by the end of the ride there will be more passengers leaving their compartment than they've entered it…

[indohyus]

How to Download (Almost) Any Audio File from Tumblr

Use this method at your own discretion. Proper credit and attribution is key to a healthy online ecosystem. Just be cool. I was inspired to make this how-to because the Wikihow article on this subject doesn't work (at least for me).

Step 1:

Find the post containing the audio file you want to download. It doesn't matter if this is on your own blog, in a tag, on your dash, or whatever.

Step 2:

Right click/Control+click on the audio player and select "Inspect." The Inspector panel will contain the programming for the audio link.

Step 3:

Orient yourself in the Inspect panel. Look at the ribbon at the top of the panel and make sure you're in the "Inspector" tab or the "Elements" tab (this depends on your browser, i think). This tab is open by default and contains the code for different elements of the site (like the audio player).

Just below the tab ribbon, on the left-hand side of the panel, there should be a search bar.

Step 4:

Use the search bar to search for the audio source in the html code. The quickest way to find the audio file is to type "audio-source". Hit Enter when you're done typing.

The code panel should highlight an inner line that goes something like this: source class="audio source" src=https://64.media.tumblr.com/a bunch of gobbledygook.mp3

That link is what you want.

Step 5:

Right click the highlighted line, and Open Link in New Tab. This should open up a black page containing nothing but a basic audio player (which will probably autoplay depending on your browser settings).

Step 6:

Right click on the audio player from the previous step, and Save Audio As...

This allows you to save the audio to your computer as a .mp3 file. The Save As window will probably say you're saving it as an MPEG file (mp3 is a type of MPEG; don't worry about it). Give the file a name that is easy to find/sort and save it to whichever folder you want.

Step 7:

Enjoy! You can play that .mp3 file on your computer's native audio player or do whatever.

(Anyone who's more knowledgeable is welcome to jump in with tips or corrections. I've only done this on a Windows PC on Firefox, and the process might look different on a different browser or OS.)

[wozidacozi401]

kc ronin oneshot

-hiiii! i've been getting back into writing and posting on ao3 and wanted to post one of my os on here!-

You were fast asleep in your plush duvet, arms tightly locked to your stuffed companion, wishing it were your beloved counterpart, Ronin. 

Without your knowledge, the window slid up, the cold night air slipping in along with the blood-covered man you adored. Your nighttime wishes came true.  

The last few days had been tense within your apartment. Ronin was on a hot streak, anger pulsing through his veins. Every footstep was a stomp. Every breath a huff. Every look was filled with hatred. But you stayed. You knew it would pass like every time, but this tantrum was much worse than the previous one. 

Ronin moved with the shadows. He stood over you, watching your shoulders rise and fall. Finally, he reached out and touched your shoulder, blood transferring onto you. He groaned lowly. The thought of your pure, lamb-like self being tainted with the blood of your beloved wolf’s slaughter… His jeans angrily became tight around his crotch, his arousal prominent. 

You slowly stirred, the feeling of being watched overcoming you. 

“Ro?” You call out, opening your arms, seeing the man hovering over you, blood still wet on his face, his clothes. 

“Darlin’...” He huffed, his hand needily stroking himself over his jeans. 

Your face burned red, and without warning, Ronin was on top of you, holding your wrists tightly down. You felt the warmth of blood on your ski,n making you lightly gag. He smelled awful, like had been killing for hours. 

“W-wait. Ro-” 

You were interrupted by Ronin’s lips, which were roughly pressed against your own, his tongue already grazing your teeth to let him in. You gasped, and his tongue met your own, he pushed into you harder.

Your soft whimpers were music to his ears. Like he had finally escaped Hell, and the sounds echoing in your room were the holy trumpets. 

“Y/N. Y/N. Y/N.” He panted over and over. His hands hungrily trailed over your pajamas, clinging and grabbing at any piece of bare skin he could find. 

His mouth moved down and he murmured your name into your jaw, your neck, his descent down your body feverish. 

He saddled your waist, his hands lingering over the hem of your shirt. 

“Tell me to fucking stop,” He panted. 

“No.” You look up at him. “Don’t Stop, My Savior.” 

The sounds that came out of his throat were guttural, primal. He draws a knife out of his belt loops and slices your shirt, then your shorts, then the rest. He discarded them as if he were offended that they had even existed in the first place. 

“I want to ruin you, Y/N. I need to make you look like me.”

Your lip trembled, but you simply nodded. His bloodied hands found your hips, and he gripped them roughly, grinding his still fully dressed body against your now fully naked one. 

“I want to see my little lamb covered in blood.” 

Your heart dropped. Blood? 

He held his knife tightly in his hand, the blade pointed at your face. “What if I made another pretty hole to stuff my cock in?” The cold blade trailed down your throat to your stomach, he dipped the tip of the knife lightly into your smooth skin making the room erupt in soft sobs. 

“There you go, darlin’. You look so pretty when you’re scared. My cute little sacrifice.” 

He gingerly kisses the tears falling from your eyes, running his tongue across your cheek to collect them, to taste your fear. He sent small shivers of pleasure up your spine. 

He sits up and slides his jacket off, then his shirt. He turns the knife to his chest, right over his heart. The knife slides gently across it, droplets of blood oozing. You reach out to stop him, but pause. He wanted this. 

He draws the knife across his chest a few times, blood slowly dripping down his torso. 

“Lap it up.” 

He grabs a fistful of your hair and pushes your face into his chest. He moves your face back and forth against the cuts, blood staining your face. 

You stayed silent, arousal building in your stomach that you didn’t even know was there. 

“Be a good little lamb and lap up my wounds, hm?” You stuck your tongue out and slowly dragged your tongue across the cuts. Blood collecting on your tongue, making you wince. 

Ronin, on the other hand, was washed over in pleasure—low moans emitted from his mouth, the grip on your hair loosening. You eagerly licked the wounds he had carved into himself as your hands gripped his torso, which was now used as an anchor. 

When he had had enough, he pinned you back down into the bed, his mouth and tongue exploring every inch of your skin as you whimpered and moaned. You knew you trusted Ronin, knew that he would never let anyone hurt you. You just hoped that included him. 

He stared at your body like he was memorizing the Bible. Taking in the holy words that were now the curves of your body to heart. 

“I just think,” 

He kisses your jaw. 

“That you are the prettiest little thing in this whole fuckin’ world.” 

You groan at his words, arching your back so your chests are pressed flush together. The sticky-sweet smell of blood floods your senses. Creating conflict between your mind and your body. 

Ronin rocked his clothed hips into yours in a desperate, erratic manner. His moans sounded like prayers as he grumbled and murmured in your ear. 

“You make me want to believe again,” He murmured against your throat, his teeth grazing against the sensitive skin. “Fuck. Thats fucked, yeah?” His voice hitched, and his breath was shallow like a low sob as he moved a hand down, starting to undo his belt. 

You looked up at him innocently -- like a lamb to the slaughter as he shakily unclipped his belt and pulled it through his belt loops. A devilish smile crossed his face as he took the leather belt and started slowly, gently wrapping it around your wrists. He pulled it tightly until the leather became a second skin and tied it off. 

“There we go… now you can’t scamper away.”

He slowly, sinfully slid his jeans nad boxers down, his cock springing free. You and Ronin had been somewhat intimate before, but this was very different. It felt like a confession. Like regret of what he had just done and he had to come cleanse himself. Almost like your pussy would be the thing to baptise him. 

“Are you ready to be reborn, little lamb?” 

You gave a meager nod as he pried your legs open like the cover of his scripture. He carefully aligned his cock to your now soaked entrance; yet for a moment he paused, murmuring to himself. The image below him was intoxicating. Your trembling, bound, flushed flesh beneath him? You were truly his little lamb lying on the altar, giving up to the ritual he was soon to perform. Finally, he gave in to the sin. His cock slammed into you in one swift motion, filling you up in seconds. You cried out, your back arching as you writhed in pleasure. 

Ronin groaned and gripped your hips, his head dipping into your shoulder as he allowed you a few seconds to adjust. 

“F-fuck. You feel like heaven, Y/N.” 

Your eyes roll back at his words, and he takes it as a sign to continue. He moved slowly at first, worshiping the sensation of your walls clinging to his dick. His moans were louder than your own. His voice was shaky in your ear as he softly spoke. 

“You feel like forgiveness, Darlin’” 

Every thrust was deeper, more demanding. You yearned to touch him, yet your bound wrists stopped you. He kissed your neck like he was pressing a crucifix to his lips. Gentle. Meaningful. 

The sounds that filled the room were dangerous. The two of you were a mess of moans, pants, and sinful sounds.  Ronin's hips slapped loudly against your own, only making him speed up when the sound didn't seem loud enough. You tightened around him, a mixture of pleasure and confusion wrapping you up tightly in its arms. 

“You know,” He pushed himself up a bit, a hand entangling in your hair, yanking hard. “The Word says to strip her bare.” His hand moved from your hair to cup your breasts, firmly squeezing. You groan and arch more into his touch, “Said to leave her raw, just like the day she was b-born.” His thrusts stuttered, started becoming sloppy. His chest heaved slightly as he adjusted to find your sweet spot. 

You gasped, your hips instinctively bucking, meeting his thrusts. His grip on you was rough and demanding, but there was something to it that felt intoxicating. He bent down to kiss you, his mouth needily colliding with yours before he pulled away. A smirk played on his face yet his eyes were wide and rimmed with tears. 

“You like that, little lamb,” He rasped, his voice shattering. “You like when you’re God damns you?” 

His forehead found yours, blood smearing on your own like you were receiving ashes. His hips rolled against yours, both of you barely hanging on. Your fingers found the blankets above you, and you clawed at them. “I can’t stop,” He whined, his voice dripping in pleasure. “I need you so fucking bad.” Your body coiled tightly, your orgasm building up higher and higher. It clawed hungrily inside you, like a demon needing exorcised. Your moans became more desperate with every wet slap of your hips colliding.

“I was taught love was pain. It had to be pain to be pure.” He whispered against your lips, gently kissing them, his thrusts needier than ever. “Now I’m scared of the sin of loving you. Scared how much I need you when neither of us is worthy.” Tears fell onto your cheek. Not those of your own, but Ronin’s. He treated your pussy like a confessional box, sputtering his sins with each thrust. 

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for your love is more delightful than wine.” He broke. His words were whimpers now as he pushed himself up on both arms and slammed into you. You were crying now, too, your tears mixing together. You couldn't decipher whether it was from the pleasure or the pain of knowing how sinful Ronin felt in this moment. 

He looked at you like you were his final salvation. He pressed his lips to yours hungrily, drinking in your taste. He pulled away to gaze upon you once more. 

“Am I hurting you? Am I dragging you to hell with me?” Soft sobs wracked his body as he thrusted erratically, nailing you into the bed. 

You looked up at him and shook your head. “It’s okay, I’m here.” You couldn't keep up the sexy facade any longer, not when you saw the pain and vulnerability in his gaze. You knew he needed you to anchor him down again. 

He whimpered and pressed his full weight onto you, his face into your shoulder. 

“You’re the only thing in this world that makes me think I’m not damned, Y/N.”

Your name escaped his lips like a scared prayer. His voice was raw and crackling with pain. You softly wrapped your legs around him, pushing him into you more, locking him in. Holding back soft sobs, he sank his teeth into your neck, making you moan directly into his ear.

“Youre not damned, Ro… and even if you were I’d follow you to hell hand in hand.” Neither of you could hold back anymore. 

He thrust in once more as his body with guilt and pleasure. His shaking hand found your cheek, gently brushing your tears away.

“Y/N… you’re my Church, my altar to kneel before.” The words were raw, filled with reverence. Your heart ached with love, sorrow. You could feel him twitch inside you as his movements slowed. He pushed deep inside you, every inch stretching you out. In that moment, you had met your maker. Your walls gripped him tightly as your orgasm crashed into you. You cried out, a sultry mixture of pain and pleasure. He gripped your hips possessively as his orgasm hit him. His cum pumped deep inside you as if it was a breathe exhaling all of the sins he could never utter outloud.

“You’re my only fucking salvation, Y/N.” 

He huffed as he pulled out of you. Your sheets now covered in blood and cum, a very sinful sight. He shakily untied your hand, and you flung yourself into his arms as he sat up. He threaded his fingers gently into your hand and pulled you closer. 

You both lay there, tangled in the gory aftermath as Ronin murmured different verses to you, softly worshipping you. If you had to be his mortal sin, it was a weight you were willing to carry.