#a night of longing and loneliness

[merakimoonglade]

WIP Wednesday

A Night of Longing and Loneliness, Chapter 3: Elain

Elain feels like she’s breathless spinning across a ballroom, the engraved porcelain dish perched carefully along her forearm as light as a silk glove as she glides through the garden towards a wrought iron table and a large, possibly sleeping Illyrian.

I did it. I put my hand on his and he smiled. How he smiled! If she was alone she would dance around the courtyard.

...

Cutting carefully into the dessert, Elain hums the song that’s been trapped in her mind the last few months.

Something that feels like sparkling wine bubbles float through Elain as Azriel moves silently behind her. His deep, velvet voice joins her for the next few notes, so low they might be mistaken for the flutter of leaves. The warm scales of his flying leathers brush against her forearm making her skin pebble as he places his plate and the whipped cream on the table.

...

Az grins and hums the next note encouraging her to continue but Elain freezes. He stills, tilting his head slightly in silent question. Tapping her index finger against the knife, she smiles briefly then continues humming as she serves him.

He knows the notes because she almost always hums the song when he is around. She hums it when he isn’t around and she is thinking of him. She’s come to think of it as their song.

Chapters 1, Cassian, and 2, Azriel, of A Night of Longing and Loneliness are currently on A03. https://archiveofourown.org/works/47221450

[zegalba]

Takato Yamamoto: 'Picture of a Ghost : Chilling Loneliness in the Dead of Night' (2020)

[towards-toramunda]

Hey do you ever think about Orym being a self proclaimed romantic who is “super lonely all the time, especially at night” and how guilty he feels about wanting romantic connection because he still loves his husband, and sees Will’s face every night before going to bed, but he’s starting to realize his deeper attraction to Ashton as something real and realize his pining for Dorian as something he shouldn’t ignore, but he was supposed to be with Will and he’s come to terms with Will dying, but sometimes it hurts so much, and yes he wants romantic connection and he’s so lonely, but he still hasn’t gotten revenge for Will’s death, and he may die soon so why pursue anything if he’s gonna be with Will again in the afterlife, BUT he may die soon and why hold off on admitting how he feels when he knows that despite losing Will the time they had was real good and he wouldn’t trade it for anything, and what if he doesn’t die what if it all turns out okay and maybe he now really has a reason to want and hope for not just *the* future, but HIS future because that future could include Dorian or Ashton and is it bad to not want to be with Will sooner or is it better to want to live and be with someone who cares for him because thats what Will would want and he wants romantic connection and he is so lonely all the time, especially at night, and what if I started chewing the drywall huh?

[365filmsbyauroranocte]

The Shadowless Tower (Zhang Lu, 2023)

[feeling-true-lou]

“Could you do something helpful today?”

And she says it in the tone of

“nothing you ever do is helpful,”

or “you’re useless.”

Like it wasn’t three days ago

I was sobbing into her shoulder

because I wanted to die.

She doesn’t seem to understand

that on my best days,

all I can manage to do is

take a shower and cook soup

in the microwave.

I go to a job where I have to stand

and watch people drink their days away,

come home and try to stay awake

until the sun goes down.

I do my best to spend two

of my three days off

doing any chore.

It takes all day,

to convince myself I can do it,

just one chore for this day,

that it’s worth the effort.

Because even breathing

doesn’t feel worth the effort.

- she’ll never understand it

[sybbi]

I see people on tesblr just posting/creating their own rarepairs so fuck it. Erandur/Gelebor.

[feliz-navidad]

vent post in tags

[narcissaea]

I know this hurt me in the long run but I can’t help myself it’s like passive self harm lmfao

[jiaien]

I've somehow always felt that books last longer than most people in my life.

[pegasusdrawnchariots]

the eternal question: is scheduling w friends as an adult That Hard or am I just bad at it

[zegalba]

Takato Yamamoto: Chilling Loneliness in the Dead of Night (2020)

[rapha-reads]

Can you die of loneliness...? Asking for a friend.

[365filmsbyauroranocte]

Marty (Delbert Mann, 1955)    

[thegreatbeyondmp3]

bro it sucks so much to have to go to work when you're sick

[caluski]

just remembered new year's eve is in just a bit over a month from now..... this sucks. genuinely the worst day to be spending alone. getting anxious thinking about it already lol

[justtakeabreathjb]