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#a youtuber who started acting as a meme and now its his job
ninjas-and-coffee · 2 years
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its been done before, but still acting au
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sharksandjays · 1 year
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yup thats right folks. its my monthly jay analysis post.
But now!!! Its about Prime Empire.
Ok guys look. Prime Empire is a terrible focus season. Jay had absolutely no character development and no power development. Nada. Nothin. Its just a “focus season” because he came up with the plan to make the villain good again and had more lines than usual (plus his little “abandoned” speech.)
HOWEVER!!! The Prime Empire shorts do say something. So, as we know, the Wildbrain seasons tend to poopoo on Jay’s character and boil him down to the funny cowardice character who is the weakest of the team. But something the shorts do attest to is the fact that Jay is STILL a ninja! The MOMENT he went into Prime Empire and saw something unjust he stood up to it. He tried to warn people. His desire to protect people goes beyond his job its his identity.
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(i'm so sorry for the crappy captions. Youtube's gonna youtube.)And like the meme I posted earlier, he handled himself pretty darn well without the others. He didn't even complain about being alone. He accepted his situation pretty quickly and was already starting to fight against Unagami before the ninja found their way in. (Which you could argue could be because he is experienced with the situation in Skybound.)
And about the League…everyone makes fun of it but i beg yall to think about it for a hot moment. Who all was in Prime Empire?
Thats right. Kids.
When Jay fights the red visors in the shorts, you see the squeals of a bunch of players once they recognize him. Its very childlike and you have to realize that these people are just avatars.
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All the people we saw get sucked into the game were kids. Of course theyd flock behind a ninja! And Jay had no problem taking them in and entertaining them and keeping them safe because that was his job! And they all dressed up like him and acted like him because he was their idol!!! And Jay wasnt complaining lol.
Jay acts all unsure of himself most of the time, but Skybound and Prime Empire make it canon that he is a great leader! And an even greater ninja! Sure, compared to Cole he's not as strong. Compared to Nya his personality might not stick out. His power isn't focused on like it is with Kai and Zane...and he isn't the main character chosen one like Lloyd. But these small scenes in his focus seasons remind us that he still was chosen to protect people and is very gosh darn good at it!
I mean, look at him kick red visor butt without even an OUNCE of a complaint about being without powers. (WHILE LOOKING LIKE A SOPPING WET CAT THIS MAN) But yeah appreciate this fight scene please.
Anyways, Jay doesn't get enough credit as a ninja. We forget he was trained for longer than Kai, has one of the most dangerous and powerful elements, is the reason the team can handle intense situations without freaking out, is the master of not one--but TWO chained weapons (known to be one of the most difficult types to master!), and is the ENTIRE REASON THE BOUNTY FLIES??? without ever being acknowledged for any of these! Cut him some slack guys he's awesome. Prime Empire does him so so so dirty.
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OK NOW YOUR TURN
pls pls ramble abt any niche interest you have
HELLO THANK YOU
*invokes inner history nerd* so. listen here colonizer and listen good. i will subject you to my random knowledge cuz due to youtube, undiagnosed neurodivergency and most importantly- bad jokes. i have a vari-tea of niche interests but the first thing that came to my mind was my knowledge of the history of how Indians became one of The Top Consumers of Tea.
how did this wonder-drug make its way into our masala covered hearts? what led to the fact that everyday at 4pm the word at the tip of most indians' tongues is "chai"?this is my thesis as a pro desi tea obsessed freak.
This story, like most in our history, starts with the arrival of the British. i would like to insert this picture i found in a video that i laughed at for a solid five minutes:
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anyway
technically tea was invented in china, and for a very long time it was exclusively grown there. it was a very high class commodi-tea. it was considered so precious that in 1662 when king charles the second married the Portuguese princess catherine of braganza: her dowry was a chest of tea and THE ENTIRE ISLAND OF MUMBAI (then, bombay) for an annual lease of 10 pounds. let me make that clearer. THE PLACE WHERE A 1BHK HOUSE IS SO EXPENSIVE MOST PPL CANT AFFORD WAS EQUIVALENT TO THIS:
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needless to say the brits was so freaking addicted man. they wanted this. so bad.
By the 18th centuary there was a war between the english and the dutch and the brit resources were down the toilet so they couldnt afford to spend all that silver on the trade of tea leaves with china. and china was uninterested in anything the white boys were offering.
UNTIL they discovered something china wanted.
✨Drugs✨
the white boys wanted that tea. and they would do anything. so they started growing opium in india (by that time they had colonized us bruh. they came into our backyard and were like "bro we're such good friends pretty please let me use ur backyard" "ok what do you want to do w it?" "i wanna grow drugs bro" "....ok" "you'll work for me no bro?" "why would i do that" "bro its ur backyard bro" "what-" *england pulls out slavery* "SHUT UP AND DO IT") (dont come at me lmao this is a very rough simplification of what happened)(imma get blocked for this?)
anyway, brits grew opium and smuggled it to china in return for TEA. FOR TEA. 40.
now after the charter act of 1833 (idk what that is exactly but basically brits lost its trade monopoly with china and so now china said we should see other people and it was an open relationship and britian got very pissed but they signed the act anyway i think)
to deal with this they established the Tea Committee (this isnt the first government board specifically for tea. there were plen-tea of others like the Tea Board Of India) which dealt w the extraction of techniques, tea seads and resources from the chinese. this was highly unsuccessful and china was not impressed. this is an example of british desperation they'll do anything at this point. (took everything in me to not insert pictures of how they treated indian farmers. it was *inhales, lets go of anger for my ancestors treatment* bad)
but in the end this qoute i found (undoubtedly by a white man) "fortune favours the white men" came tru and they got their way.
oh you thought i was done? haha babygurl i am not
in 1843 robert fortune, who was a scottish horticulturist, went on a solo trip to china to study (read as: steal) tea plantations. no actually apparently he did study cuz he published a book(i forgot the name).(yes. HIS NAME WAS ROB. FORTUNE. talk about being born for a job)
lemme insert a quick meme here:
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(they actually hired him on the spot and gave the amazed man 500 pounds per annum and sent him off to china)
he was to perform what we call The Great British Tea Heist the brits had found their vigilan-tea
my guy was committed to his role and shaved his head and pretended to be a monk and after 3 months wrote a letter to his company saying "bro i got the goodssss"
lmao no this it what the letter said- "l have much pleasure in informing you," he wrote, "that I have procured a large supply of seeds and young plants which l trust will get safely to India."
NOW they finally had the greens and started planting it in india. over the years indian tea topped the market in britian as the best tea. mostly cuz the white boyz HYPED it up. they even started doing diss tracks for chinese tea. this is something read right out of an advertisment- "indian teas are more wholesome, purer, cheaper and better than chinese teas in every single way". white boyz started saying stuff like they got out of a toxic realtionship with china and a healthy one with india (but they were the toxic ones)
now brits tried to globalize indian tea to get the moneyyy~ from indians.
their first experiment with (another) government body for tea- Indian Tea Association began on the indian railways. these railways were the ancestor of the IRC-tea-C. basically they started making tea on the railway platforms. this started the trend of tea being the signature experience on every indian train journey, from the first class to economy, everyone was having it (cuz trains were introduced and quickly became popular in use). train tea was said to be better than the quality of tea in 5 star hotels. and this converted us from a nation of tea-totalers to teach addcits.
now i just have one thing to say in the end. HOW did the quality decline so badly my desi brothers and sisters? nowadays the tea on trains is basically water but brown. milk is a lie.
anyway. on the end we got it right. we took tea from the chinese and brits and we added milk and we added sugar and we got:
✨chai✨
you have reached the end. congrats.
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servin-up-surveys · 2 months
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survey #229
Where do you see your ex in 5 years? I am not comfortable answering this for any ex. I don't know these people anymore, and people change. I shouldn't be theorizing about their futures.
Does your last ex have a job? I don't know.
Would you be interested in starting your own business? I want to be a freelance photographer, so...
Do you find guys with facial piercings attractive? I tend to find piercings attractive, but this doesn't guarantee that I'm going to be attracted to a pierced man.
Have you ever gone snorkeling or scuba diving? If yes, what’s the coolest thing you’ve seen? No.
What’s your favorite filling in chocolates? More chocolate, peanut butter, or caramel.
What, in your opinion, is the most disgusting part of the human body? I actually hate how genitals look, either kind.
Do you have slim or chubby fingers? Slim. It's about the only slim thing about me.
Have you done anything lately that you instantly felt was a mistake? Uh, maybe? But not of importance large enough for me to actually remember it.
Pencils: mechanical or traditional? Mechanical for sure.
Are you into anyone right now? Tell me about them? Use this space to say something to them. Well, Girt, obviously. I feel like I talk about him enough for readers to have a general gist of him, he's insanely introverted but loyal as FUCK to people he values, and he's the funniest fucking person I've ever met. He's my best friend in the world and I hope he never doubts how much I value him as not just a boyfriend, but friend.
Do you cook and/or bake? What is your specialty? I don't. It's funny though, I recently got into a chef's YouTube channel and also like another, and I like watching their stuff, even though I'm not interested in cooking or baking myself. I WISH I was.
Have you ever felt trapped in a relationship? A friendship, yes. That's how I felt towards the end of Sara's and my friendship. Like, we'd split apart so many times, I didn't wanna fucking do it again. It never went well.
Are you attracted to any nationality more than others? Nope.
Do feet creep you out? They don't creep me out, I just don't like them and think they're gross.
Do you have a sexual fantasy? What is it? yeah I'm not sharing that stuff lmfao
Do you like the band Satyricon? I've never heard this name in my life.
Is it wicked hard for you to sleep when its hot in your room? I CAN'T sleep if I'm hot. I literally have two fans in my room.
What is your favorite thing to do with your best friend? Chatting/being silly together and playing video games.
Are you easily offended? No. Few things actually offend me.
Have you ever acted as tour guide for friends/relatives from out of town? lol no, this place sucks and there's nothing TO show, there's no need.
Do you feel bored with your life? YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am agonizingly bored by my fucking life, I could rant about this for hours, it's unreal how bored I am by the life I exist in.
What's the most weight you've ever gained from a medication? Like, 100 pounds. I wish I was fucking kidding. Thanks, Abilify <3
How old were you the first time you encountered God? The concept of "God" was forced on me from birth (literally, I was baptized), sooooo... I guess you can't truly "encounter" something that you finally understand doesn't exist, though.
Are you married? No.
What was the best date you've ever been on? A double-date to an arcade.
Do you feel free to post how you feel on Facebook? I very rarely post about my personal life because I feel like no one cares and I'm just being annoying. I just share memes n shit.
Which stereotype do you fit the most? Geek and goth at heart, I guess. I don't really dress it though, I'm too lazy and poor for that.
Who were your favorite celebrities as a child? Steve Irwin and Jeff Corwin.
Did you go to prom? I went to two: his senior and my senior.
If you could rewind time ten years, would you? No.
What is the last song you played on repeat? fuckin "Diggy Diggy Hole" by Wind Rose lmfao
Do you own a CD player? Not anymore.
Do you think you could handle a job in the medical field? Why or why not? No. It would depress me, more than anything.
Would you rather edit photos on your phone or computer? Computer. I have Lightroom on both devices, but computer is easier and more precise with the mouse.
What is one electronic device you own that you have not used in a long time? Nintendo DS.
When was the last time you wore a dress or a skirt? Not since a Halloween photoshoot I did with my friend.
What is your favorite thing about Instagram? I dunno, really. I just enjoy it. I do feel like I'm less likely to see shit I don't want to, like dumbfuck right-wing shit I didn't ask for on Facebook.
What is the first thing you think of when you see the rainbow emoji? 🌈? the gays stealing the rainbow from god ✌️
Do you prefer to play chess or checkers? Checkers, idk how to play chess.
If you had to go an entire week without using any technology, what do you think you would spend most of your time doing instead? Reading, sleeping, writing, drawing. I'd be miserable, though.
Would you rather travel to Asia or France? Somewhere in Asia.
Did you have a New Year’s kiss? No, we weren't in each other's presence that night. You'd be hard-pressed to find a night I stay up 'til midnight anyway.
Are there any words that you cannot pronounce or that you pronounce incorrectly? I say "breakfast" funny. I put a "t" after the "k" and I can't fix it.
How much older than you was the oldest person you have dated/had a relationship with? Juan was somewhere around five years older than me, give or take a year. It was problematic though because of my age.
Have you recently accomplished anything that you are proud of yourself for? I am very proud of myself for making the conscious decision to really start changing how I think and treat myself. It hasn't been "meh I'll try," I'm DOING it.
Are you still friends with any of your exes? Do you still communicate with any of them at all? Nope, nope.
What is your opinion on people who shop at Sephora for makeup as opposed to buying makeup from the drugstore? I don't give a shit????????????
Is marijuana legal for “recreational use” where you live? Also what is your opinion on the recent legalization of marijuana in certain states? It is not legal, but my psychiatrist shared that it's looking like NC will make it legal in the foreseeable future (Mom shared we really want to try edibles for me). I wish it was legal everywhere.
Do you live on your own or with your parents/a roommate? Do you think you’d like to live alone? I still live with my mother. I NEVER want to live alone, I would be FUCK-ING miserable. My depression and isolatory behaviors would eat me alive.
How often would you say you use Microsoft Word? Never, I use WordPad. You have to pay for Microsoft Word.
After doing your laundry do you leave it in your basket for a couple days, then put it away? Ugh it can stay in the basket for days upon days upon days.
When you do a puzzle do you find all the edges first? Of course, unless I incidentally find a match of interior pieces.
When you’re in the car and you eat something with a wrapper, do you throw the wrapper out of the window? Do this and I wish you death
List 5 things that have happened in the last 7 days. (They can be anything at all, anything that’s happened involving you, or your family, friends, partner.) 1.) I've been playing the remake of Resident Evil 4 2.) My younger sister got a dog 3.) I went to Girt's house 4.) I finished another book in the Warriors series 5.) I drew!!!!
If you found out your ex had a new partner, would you be upset? There is no ex where I would care if they had a new partner.
Have you ever had sex in someone else’s bed/bedroom? I've done sexual things we shouldn't have done in someone else's bedroom.
Have you ever had sex on your bedroom floor? How about your living room floor? Again, just sexual things. But not since I was a teenager, you could NOT lure my fat and achy ass onto the floor anymore lmfao
When you kiss someone, do you like to play with their hair? I do it, so I suppose yes.
Why did you hug the last person you hugged? The kids were leaving.
Do you regret sleeping with anyone? No.
Did anyone comfort you the last time you cried? What was your reason for crying? My mom, yes. I've just been stressed out and dealing with anxiety issues.
What if you had a baby with the last person you kissed? I’d get an abortion, we can't be doing that.
Is there anyone that likes you, other than the person you love/like/are with? I doubt it.
Who is the 9th contact in your phone? Have you ever hugged/kissed that person? That's my little sister, I've certainly hugged her and maybe kissed her cheek when we were younger.
How did you feel when you woke up today? What was the first thing you thought about? I was annoyed, the kids came in being loud and I hadn't slept very well. Pretty sure I cursed lmao.
Do you still tell your parents that you love them? Of course.
Random fact about the person you love/like? He's back in college for business management-type stuff. I always forget the exact name of his major. He's VERY nearly done, he just had to drop out when his dad died.
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jungkxook · 4 years
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—out of the blue. (m)
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⟶ pairing: jungkook x reader 
⟶ genre: youtuber/gamer!jungkook + fluff / smut 
⟶ words: 5,204
⟶ rating: 18+
⟶ summary: catching your boyfriend bleaching and dyeing his hair for a livestream is definitely not what you expected — but it certainly has its perks.
⟶ warnings: established relationship, some attempt at humour, .2 seconds of sort of sub jungkook (you just like seeing him on his knees), you call jungkook a good boy, shower sex, hair pulling, oral sex, face riding, standing sex, breast play, cum eating, doggy style, unprotected sex, creampie
⟶ note: because blue haired jungkook has me feeling all sorts of things. also dedicating this to the lovely ryen @kithtaehyung​ because blue haired jungkook is getting her too and i hope this helps!! and thank you to the wonderful @gamerkooks​ and @stanrandomthings​ for always giving me inspiration for gamer jungkook <3
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“What the hell are you doing?”
Jungkook has less than a second to react when he hears you bursting through the door of his bedroom, a guilty expression plastered on his face as if you’ve caught him in the midst of a much worse act than what he’s already currently doing ━ but the flustered scowl deepening your countenance is enough for him to certainly feel that way, because how else is he supposed to casually explain why he’s currently sitting shirtless in front of a camera?
Admittedly, the sight is odd enough, and there’s a split moment where your incredulous look is enough to make him feel as if he’s wronged you, and your six month long relationship with him, entirely before he remembers that he didn’t actually do anything wrong like cheat on you, but is actually just trying to dye his hair.
He’s sat in his gaming chair, camera and lights set up around him, and the monitor of his desktop all recording his face to the hundreds of thousands of viewers currently watching his livestream. He had told you well in advance about his aim to do a twenty-four hour live broadcast for his subscribers to both raise money for a donation and to countdown to his next subscriber milestone with the help of his friends ━ and had even asked you to help him plan the event, discussing it animatedly with you for the past month on various occasions ━ but mainly just because Jungkook is crazy enough to sit through a twenty-four hour stream and call it fun.
You had known most of how the entirety of the day would go. Starting from noon the previous day to now, almost an hour before the stream ends, thus far he’s done various gameplays from Minecraft to Overwatch to Among Us simultaneously with his friends who had offered to marathon with him the twenty-four hour event; had a period of time in which Jimin and Taehyung were over and cramped in his room to answer questions and talk to viewers but mostly just to create absolute chaos. You had been there for most of it, though you’re still trying to figure out if it’s a blessing or a curse that you were suckered into paying rent for your three bedroom apartment by Taehyung more than a year ago, and subsequently falling madly in love with Jungkook and forcing you to aid in his antics. You’ve been in a handful of his videos before, appearing in Twitch and YouTube streams, and in the background of vlogs in his channel and the channels belonging to the other boys; and, on that day for Jungkook’s twenty-four hour event, you had joined him at the start before being dragged away for work and then tried to pull an all-nighter with him until you crashed on the couch in the living room, and checking in on him occasionally to give him food and water and to just generally make sure your boyfriend isn’t dead.
Now, with the remaining final hour dwindling down, you had been in your room trying to finish last minute essay writing for school, with your phone propped up on your desk and Jungkook’s livestream playing as background noise to your studying. One minute, he had been playing a round of Among Us, and the next, when you had glanced up, he had the bottle in hand and the detrimental blue dye coating his hair in slick globs. It wouldn’t have been so shocking, had you not seen Jungkook an hour ago when he had his natural dark hair still, and now he had somehow managed to sneak in bleaching his hair in the time you had left him. Maybe it was your fault for not catching it sooner, if only because you had sheepishly taken a small nap amidst your studying only to wake up to a nightmare.
Which is where that leaves you currently, dishevelled demeanour standing at the threshold of his door after chasing over to his room, watching as Taehyung helps Jungkook sufficiently ruin his beautiful hair which you love so much.
“Uh… Dyeing my hair?” Jungkook finally answers, dumbfounded. He’s fortunate he had pulled off his shirt to avoid getting hair dye on it, an old towel now draped around his shoulders to catch any excess mess. He adds brightly, “We asked for suggestions on how to end the stream and someone said I should dye my hair, so Tae got the stuff.”
“You bleached your own hair?” You retort, exasperated. “When the hell did all this happen? I’ve been next door to you the whole time! What if your hair falls out? You should’ve gotten a professional to do it, not Tae━”
Taehyung looks inexplicably offended by your slandering remarks on his (lack of) hair styling skills, retorting with, “Yo, what the━?”
Jungkook blinks, as if just being made aware of what he’s actually doing.
“My hair’s gonna fall out?” he gaps. “Guys, what the hell? Why’d no one tell me?”
He looks from you to Taehyung then over at the comments on his livestream which are currently flooding with the sole topic of you. His eyes snag the first few that appear to him in the frenzied influx of words:
uh oh jungkook’s sleeping on the floor tonight
oh shit run bro
f in the chat for jk’s hair
get him y/n!!!!
“Dude, she’s just being dramatic,” Taehyung waves you off. He ducks out of the way when you reach out to Jungkook’s bed for a pillow and chuck it at the older boy’s head.
“And when he’s bald, then what━”
“No!” A helpless Jungkook exclaims suddenly. He gestures wildly to the stream, “Don’t give them ideas. The edits are gonna start pouring in.”
“Jeon, look, it’s too late to go back now,” Taehyung says. “You’ve got half your head covered in dye and three minutes to go with the stream. How bad can it be?”
A groveling sigh eclipses your lips as you push yourself forward. “Then at least let me help before you ruin it completely.”
Jungkook’s fortunate, to say the least, though he’s left wondering if you’re truly upset with him.
He finishes the countdown to the end of his twenty-four hour stream with you and Taehyung putting the last remaining globs of dye on his hair, a heartfelt goodbye to his viewers who marathoned the stream with him, and a promise to update them on the status of his hair when he washes the dye out.
And, just as soon as he’s shut his camera off, the mundane world returns to him.
It’s no longer millions of anonymous and faceless viewers watching him from the other side of their screens in the tiny bubble that is his room, but just you and Taehyung and the older boy’s frisky little Pomeranian dog and the threat of a wallowing regret as Jungkook thinks to himself, what the hell did he truly just do to his hair?
At some point, Taehyung retreats to his girlfriend’s house taking Yeontan with him, leaving you alone with Jungkook and he basks in the sudden cozy quiet after twenty-four hours of madness as the adrenaline rush begins to fade and mellow out. Back aching, joints cracking and popping as he stretches and moves, and eyes burning in the similar way they do from having stared at a screen for too long, but tenfold, he craves nothing more than to find your sweet and comforting touch to end such a long day.
He finds you in the living room already scrolling through your phone and your Twitter feed to read and marvel at all the comments and memes made by his viewers during his stream and his heart threatens to burst through his chest because you’ve always been so supportive of him and his fans, and they’ve always adored you and your endless interactions with them. So, surely, you can’t be mad at him for bleaching and dyeing his hair. Right?
As his arms come to wrap around you from behind, face nuzzling in the crook of your neck, he hears you bemoan, “You look like a Smurf came on your head.”
Wrong.
Well, not entirely, he guesses. You do lean into his chest, practically melting against him. A sluggish grin tugs at his lips and, instead, he chooses to ask, “Shower with me?”
“Aren’t you tired, Koo?”
“Baby,” he deadpans, and your heart flutters just a little bit, “by this point, I’m running solely on Red Bull and coffee that I’m positive I could fight the gods with my bare hands and win. In fact, I’ve had so much caffeine that I’m fairly certain I’ve ascended to the astral plane. Besides, I need to wash this dye out, and I could use some help. Sleep can wait.”
“Help,” You snort. “You’re such a liar. I already know what you want.”
“To spend time with my beautiful girlfriend? You’re right.”
“I’m not sucking your dick.”
He pulls his head back to look at you. Though he tries to look offended, there’s the tiniest of smirks on his face. “Wasn’t gonna ask you!”
You turn to properly face him in his arms and shoot him a dubious glance. He leans down to press a chilling kiss to your jaw, then nudges his nose against you in the same spot so that you’ll move your head. You do so, despite your prior scolding, and let him kiss the underside of your jaw down to your neck.
“Okay, fine,” You huff finally.
You relent, miraculously, but Jungkook had already guessed you would the moment he had found you in the living room and he couldn’t be happier.
He cherishes the moments alone with you, has come to know them well as he falls into a comfortable routine with you away from prying eyes over the last few months. Because sometimes, as he comes to learn, it’s hard to establish a relationship when his job requires him to be in the spotlight often. What is authentic and what is simply fabricated for views is difficult to discern, and yet you’re patient with him. Not everything to him is money and views and numbers, or what his next big plan is, or how you could potentially help him in some way (despite knowing that any video featuring you seems to skyrocket his views and land his videos on the trending page of YouTube more often than not because he knows everyone loves you more than him). You know when he’s his online persona and when he’s simply just Jungkook, and while there’s hardly any difference between the two, his online personality surely has to maintain a level of privacy and happiness that may not always be true.
At least with you, he can just be himself. He can finally be at ease.
Showering together is just one of the many acts of normalcy he cherishes with you. So, he turns on the shower and lets the bathroom get all warm and balmy as you undress. He’s the first one inside, hissing in delight as he lets the water run over his sore muscles, washing out the dye in his hair firstly so as not to get it on you and fortunately not making too much of a mess of blue dye in the tub. You’ve joined him in an instant when he’s nearly done, squeezing into the space in front of him as you shut the glass door behind you, the pane already beginning to fog and slick with droplets of condensation. He pulls you into him once more, nestling his chin on your shoulder as his hands come to wrap around you. They slide across your front, all wet and soapy, briefly gliding across your breasts, palms brushing against your nipples before traveling down to your navel.
“Congrats, baby,” You coo gently. “Twenty-four hours.”
He murmurs into your hair, “Missed you loads though.”
You turn to look at him finally, and it’s hard not to stare. Your eyes land firstly on his abdomen and the toned muscles there, trailing up to his arm and the pretty tattoos that decorate every inch of his skin, to his soft pink lips and his big eyes. Then, there’s the matter of his hair. The water has done most of the work in washing out the dye from his hair, now falling across his forehead and into his eyes and cheekbones, and it’s only then that you fully register the dye has worked as you struggle to find any remnants of his once-ebony-then-blonde locks. The blue hair is an obvious stark contrast to his natural hair and, you think, it is pretty, accentuating his radiant skin and making his eyes pop.
“I didn’t think you were actually serious all those times you said you wanted to change your hair.” Your lips are pursed as you survey him now, your fingers twirling a strand of his tresses around and around as you inspect it.
He smiles, catching your hand and pressing a quick peck to your knuckles. “Neither did I,” he admits sheepishly. “It sort of just happened.”
You pout. “I’m gonna miss your natural hair.”
“Do you really hate it blue?”
“I don’t hate it. Was more scared you’d ruin your pretty hair and make it all fall out.”
At this, Jungkook flashes you a cheeky smile. He holds his head a little higher. “So you still think my hair is pretty?”
“I think you’re a dork,” You clarify. “And, aside from the fact you almost gave me a heart attack, I’d say the blue is so pretty. Beyond pretty. Kinda hot, if I’m being honest.”
Because you’re not really mad, but it’s fun just to tease Jungkook and see his reactions. At the very least, he can sense this, as it’s apparent with the way his smile stretches even wider on his face.
“Hot, huh?”
“Mhm. But you didn’t hear that from me.”
He feigns a look of mock hurt. “Oh no. You must be really mad. Want me to make it up to you?”
“How are you gonna do that?”
“Well, what do you want from me?”
You take a moment to think it over, but the answer is already obvious enough. It’s one that even he knows, and one that has won you over the moment Jungkook was freed from his stream. You hum aloud, “You, on your knees, head between my legs, like a good boy. Think I can get a better viewpoint of your hair from down there anyway before I judge it.”
“Like a good boy?” A dark smirk tugs at his face. “So now who’s the needy one?”
He lowers his head so that he’s leaving a trail of sloppy wet kisses down your neck to your collarbones. As you let yourself get carried away for a moment, you wrap your arm around his neck, pulling him backwards until you’re pressed up against the glass door. He ducks even lower, kissing just above your left breast and then catching your nipple between his teeth. You swallow thickly, rubbing your thighs together, reminding yourself to respond to him.
“It’s not my fault when you were busy for the past day,” You pout. “And the blue hair really is sexy.”
“Aha!” he straightens up in front of you suddenly, a crooked smug smile on his face. “So I’m not just hot. I’m sexy.”
“You’re literally always sexy. And beautiful too. It’s almost unfair.”
“That’s even better.”
You tug your fingers at his damp locks. When you speak, your voice is a mix between urgency and a whine. “Jungkook. I could’ve already gotten off with my hand at this point.”
“Ouch, feisty!” He pokes his fingers at your sides. Then, nipping a little more firmly on the soft skin of your breast, murmurs huskily, “Alright, alright. But only if you call me a good boy again.”
Part of him is taunting you, but there’s a small sliver of intrigue that makes the thought in his head and the pretty words on your tongue excite him to no end.
Still, you choose to entertain him, maybe a little drowsily and entirely consumed by him, “I will if you let me ride your face.”
A rumble of a chuckle resonates from him. You find him on his knees in the next moment, wedging himself between your thighs. He nudges one of your legs and you follow the wordless command, hitching one thigh over his shoulder as you settle back against the glass door of the shower. He kisses at your hips as he dips his head lower and lower to where you want him, before swiping his tongue at your cunt, tasting all of you at once.
“Mmm, Koo━” A soft whimper sounds from you, making his head swim.
He wastes no time in lapping at your folds, tongue delving into you deeper and deeper as he cranes his neck. The wetness that pools between your legs and on the tip of his tongue is a sticky mess that he basks in just a little longer.
“Fuck,” he groans into your pussy, “you taste so fucking good. Missed this so much.”
His hands are big as they come to hold you close, cradling your ass, your thighs, your hips, anything to pull you into him while simultaneously pushing your thighs further apart.
You manage to find your voice and quip weakly, “Missed me or having your head between my legs?”
“You, definitely,” he murmurs. He busies himself by reaching out with his thumb to press circles against your clit. Your mouth falls open in a silent moan, hips rutting into his face. “All of you.”
“Jungkook━ Fuck━”
He burrows further into you, humming in response. His nose brushes against your clit, the muscle of his tongue a pleasant wet that makes you warm all over. You give another experimental swivel of your hips, grinding against his tongue just right. He pinches at your hips as if to probe you onward, and then you do it again, and again, desperately rocking your hips back and forth against him. Your fingers reach out to grab a fistful of his hair, clutching it so tightly he hisses. But you’re right. The blue locks look dazzling between your legs, being pulled by your hands as you push him further into you.
His eyes meet yours from below your waist, hooded and idle, enjoying the view as you squirm and writhe above him, shamelessly riding his face. Grinding against his chin, nose, and tongue, the slick wetness you leave behind glistens on his skin.
“Ah, Koo━” You cry out. “Fuck, I’m gonna━!”
Your orgasm hits you violently, sending you keeling. Your hips continue with reckless abandon, and Jungkook presses his finger against your clit a little harder, a little faster. The abrupt gushing warmth between your thighs sends your mind spinning, as the steam from the shower and your panting breaths begin to fog the bathroom. When your hips begin to slow, Jungkook laps at the rest of your leaking core before pulling away with a grin brandishing his shimmering face. He lets you pull him up eagerly, clumsy hands fumbling to hold either side of his face as you tug at him.
“God, you’re so hot, babe,” he sighs wistfully, smothering your lips with his for an all too chaste kiss, before leaning in once more to nibble at your lower lip.
“Wanna feel you, Koo,” You prompt urgently. “Want you in me.”
Jungkook hastens to comply, his hands falling to your waist. “Go on, then. Turn around for me.”
You don’t need to be told twice. You spin so that you’re facing the glass sliding door, your back to him. You watch him over your shoulder, momentarily admiring his well built stature, the tattoos that ink his body, and the water that shimmers on his skin. He has to push his wet hair up and away when it falls across his forehead and then he reaches down to grasp at his length, grip tight around his shaft so that he can pump himself sluggishly a few short times. It’s almost painful to watch him jerk himself off in front of you, the tip a burning red and glistening. He catches you staring and decides to catch you off guard when he grabs a hold of your hips with one hand. He yanks you towards him, your ass pressed firmly against his hips, making you jump from the startle, and grins when you look back at him.
Then, ever so slowly, he runs the length of his cock along your folds. Before you can brace yourself for the overwhelming rush of pleasure, he’s sliding his cock past your folds, burrowing into you deep. He curses behind you, his other hand flying out to steady himself by digging into your hip.
“Fffuck. Shit.” He dips his head so that his cheek is resting against your shoulder and sputters for air. “Jesus, fuck━ Been dying to feel you all day.”
He fits so snugly in you, so perfectly, just like always and you take him so well, coaxed by your own arousal. He ruts his hips forward into yours and you nearly fall forward before catching yourself by pressing your palms to the glass. Then, he’s grinding against you, small and precise thrusts that roll into your hips.
“Mmm, Jungkook,” you choke out. “You feel so━ So good.”
“Ah, shit,” he hisses. “Wanna wreck you so bad.”
He angles his chest a little more, pummels his dick into you in such a way that he’s hitting a different spot in you. His eyes stay fixated on the soft, round flesh of your ass and the way his cock slips so easily into you, brows screwed in concentration, jaw clenched. The slight bounce of your ass each time he rolls his hips firmly against you, the way you ricochet forward each time in tandem with his moves. You bow your head, pressing your temple against the glass door now tinted with condensation, only marked up by the imprints of your fingers grasping at anything. It’s almost sweltering hot in the shower now but you both pay no mind to it. He fucks into you with such languid, steady strides, cock beginning to throb and twitch in anticipation. You feel so wet, such a pitiless mess between your thighs already that it makes him growl.
“H-Harder,” You mewl. “Oh, Koo━”
He almost slips behind you in his eagerness to obey, awakening something animalistic in him, a yearning to just release all the tension in his core. This time, he adapts a measured pace, forceful thrusts that have you crying out in delight each time. One hand reaches up to grip at your shoulder to steady himself while his other slithers around your front to grasp at your breasts, all wet and supple, pinching at your nipples.
“So good,” he moans, pressing sloppy kisses just below your ear. His breath is hot as he pants behind you, sending tingles down your spine. “Fuck━”
His voice is cut off by a whine, hips bucking forward in an unsolicited manner as he feels his high drawing near. You lean your head onto his shoulder, stretching your arm out so that you can tug desperately at his hair. It’s a silent, simple command, but it’s one that he immediately understands even without you speaking.
“Wanna feel you━” You whimper. “Wanna see you.”
Jungkook nearly slips as he fumbles to pull out of you, hissing at the loss of warmth and friction. As soon as you’ve turned to face him, he wastes no time in closing the distance between you. He pushes his leaking cock past your folds once more and continues at the same pace as if he had never even stopped to begin with.
“Fuck,” he whines. “Not gonna last━”
You wrap your arms around his neck, drawing him even closer to you, as he presses you against the glass. He hitches one of your thighs around his waist, spreading your legs just wide enough to hit a certain spot that has both of you crying out. You’re clinging so tightly to him, fingers digging harshly into his skin in an attempt to alleviate the building pressure you feel. He knows you’ve almost reached your end when you resort to a gasping, moaning mess, writhing beneath his broad stature.
“Close, baby?” he hums.
You open your mouth to respond but can only muster a whimper. His pace treads over to heedlessly frantic, the sound of skin against skin and the lewd wetness filling the shower. Despite his hips pounding into yours so harshly, his fingers flutter so delicately under your chin, grasping it and moving your head just enough so that you’re facing him.
“Lemme see you,” he grunts. “Wanna watch you when you cum all over my cock. Always so pretty.”
“I━ I’m━ Fuck, Koo━”
But you can’t finish your thought.
You keep your gaze fixated on Jungkook’s, however exhausted and weary it may be. Your lashes flutter, brows knit together, and you suck your lower lip between your teeth, biting so hard Jungkook’s certain you’ll bruise it. Another few hard thrusts and then you’re reaching your high, overcome by such an intense burning that you can’t help but look away out of instinct. You cry his name, face contorting in pure pleasure, and chest arching to meet his. You’re clenching so tightly around him has him sputtering for air, nearly collapsing entirely against you. You’re near dripping around his cock which only means he almost slips from you with each draw of his hips that he makes. It’s why he sloppily rocks his hips into yours, desperate to reach his own high as well.
When you return to your senses, blinking away your blurry vision, you can make out Jungkook cooing into your ear, “That’s it, baby. Doing so well.”
You meet his gaze once more, only this time you’re perhaps even more tired. Hooded eyes watch him, silently probing him to his climax. He comes tumbling towards it, a few more short thrusts of his hips and, finally, he’s there. He slams his hips up into yours one final time, crying out, and then he’s releasing into you in an overwhelming abrupt gush. Only he can’t quite enjoy it because, out of genuine accident and driven by impatience to just get off, the last jerk of his hips hits you a little too hard.
It’s what causes you to slip backward and he, so lost in his own reverie, hardly has a proper grip on you or where he’s standing. When you lose your footing beneath you, slipping on the wet porcelain of the tub, and comes crashing down, he’s brought along with you. “Oh, fuck━!”
The both of you yelp from the surprise, your hands flailing out to brace yourself for the fall.
Fortunately, you land on him when you reach the bottom of the tub, courtesy of him grabbing onto you last second so that he can soften the blow upon impact.
Unfortunately, the breath is knocked out of him from the startle and from the sudden added weight of you on top of him with no warning.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” he groans.
“In hindsight,” You wince as you shift your weight above him, “maybe having sex in the shower again wasn’t the greatest idea. Remember last time when we knocked the shower curtain down and I had to get stitches on my elbow? It’s why we got the glass door installed, and then we had to lie to Tae about it.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me.” He tilts his head back, rubbing a hand over his face. Then, he flashes you an all too charming smirk. “Was kinda worth it though.”
You giggle, sounding so sweet and angelic, even despite the way his cum still leaks from you. Somewhere in the fall, his dick had slipped from you and now lays softening on his stomach which, really, is probably the worst part of the accident to him. He already misses the warmth of you wrapped around him, your mingling cum a dirty mess around him. You prop yourself up on his chest with your palms, but before you can even think to respond, you notice something out of the corner of your eye.
A small mass of fur in the shape of little Yeontan has just poked his head through the crack in the door, oblivious to you and Jungkook’s compromising position. And then, shortly following behind him, is his equally oblivious owner who must have forgotten something in the apartment to bring him back so suddenly.
“Tannie, get back here━ We gotta go━ Oh, Jesus, what the fuck?” Taehyung appears at the door for a millisecond before noticing the situation he’s just stumbled upon. Thankfully, he acts fast, and clamps a hand over his tainted eyes, clumsily scooping up Yeontan in his other hand. “Can you guys please stop fucking all over this damn apartment? My son’s eyes are too pure for this!”
And then he’s retreating, but not before bumping blindly into the doorframe, grumbling along the way. It’s silent for a moment as you and Jungkook gawk at one another; then you hear Taehyung leave the apartment once more, and the both of you dissolve into a fit of unabashed laughter.
“Are you okay?” You ask once you’ve calmed down enough as he reaches out to shut the shower off. You plant a kiss in your boyfriend’s hair. “You hit your head coming down.”
Jungkook’s heart swells at your gentle touches and smiles. “I’m fine,” he promises brightly. “You?”
“Well, you did just thoroughly fuck me, so━” You shrug innocently. “I’m kinda still too giddy to even care.”
“I’m gonna make it up to you,” he says. “For almost giving you a heart attack with my hair and for almost putting you in the emergency room again just now.”
The mention of his hair draws your attention to it once more. It’s not as wet as before, damp azure waves falling into his eyes that you brush away gingerly.
“Yeah,” You snort, “but I’ve decided I like your hair. Like, really like it.”
“Yeah?” he grins wide. “What was the deciding factor?”
You pause, as if to think for a moment. Exhaustion riddles your body and you know sleeping curled up next to Jungkook is nearing your future, but for now you let yourself entertain the last remnants of whatever lewd thoughts are still on yours and his minds before they fizzle away completely. You can’t help yourself anyway. The blue really is nice.
“Definitely the view of you eating me out,” You say. “And can’t forget how pretty it looks when I’m pulling at your hair.”
“Say no more,” he beams. “Then I’ll make it up to you by making you cum on my tongue again and again and again.”
The last thing he hears before he grabs at your cheek to softly pull you down to him for one last kiss, slow and ardent, is a bubbly giggle from you that delights him to no end.
“That’s a good boy.”
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steve0discusses · 3 years
Text
S5 Ep10: Kaiba Embarrasses Himself on International Television Again
We start off this duel by teasing us into believing that this is a part of a theme park:
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The Kaiba theme park is a weird mix of actual horrorscapes and animal crossing cutesy stuff...you can really tell what parts were Mokuba and what parts were Seto in this park.
But Leon takes it well, just kinda standing there as he’s done this entire arc--being a general forgettable nice boy who just...doesn’t do anything. Like he gets up, he plays cards, he sits down. Having him on top of a rock with melodramatic Little Mermaid waves crashing at his feet is laughably the opposite of Leon’s whole vibe.
Leon just seems like the type that listens to coffee shop ambient Youtube videos when he wants to amp himself up. This kid appears to attend a private school...somewhere...I think, and just went to a dueling competition in his school outfit because he literally doesn’t have a style of his own hanging in his closet.
Like Yugi wears his school outfit, but he does that ironically, to off-set the amount of makeup and hair spray he has in his hair. Leon wears the school outfit maybe because he admires Yugi so much, but is like “time for my rogue bow I wear in my hair. That’ll scare my competition.” He completely missed the point of the 00′s alt school outfit scene.
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I do way too much art to not see the imagery. I feel like this is half my job, and playing “where’s the hidden Freudian meaning?” is half the fun of going to any art museum.
(read more under the cut)
Anyway, Seto got tired of no one paying any attention to him, so he stepped out of his 14-monitor mancave, he very quickly pulled his Dragon outfit out of the (dirty) laundry, flicked a couple sea crabs out of his pockets, spritzed it with Febreeze and called it “good enough.”
Like, is it just me, or has dragon jacket greyed out a tad from last season? Like it’s starting to get a little...worn? Like what funk is coming off of Seto Kaiba right now?
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Also notice that he brought his giant stash of cards to the duel. He’s going to put on this show as if he’s not going to pull out the giant stash of cards. But like...he’s going to pull out the giant stash of cards. Like Hell boring ass Leon is going to play his deck of Candyland characters again.
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Leon is declared a winner on Technicality and it’s like.
Damn Seto, for reals?
So congrats, Leon, you did literally nothing, again, and yet you mystifyingly  persist on this show. Clearly you aren‘t going to grow a second head out of that ponytail like professor Quirrel in the last act of this arc.
That’s when Yugi’s hazy memory recalls something from the Before Times of “that time period before I was possessed by a needy ghost that eats up 3/4 of my memories and time.”
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So Schroeder is Atari. Neat.
Also, this makes Zigfrieds outfits a hell ton more endearing when you realize he’s this Willy Wonka game company owner making toys for children. Kinda makes you wonder why Seto’s such a stick up the ass in comparison when it’s like--dude Kaiba, maybe you could learn a thing or two about whimsy. It could really help out your inconsistent park.
Anyway, Kaiba quickly realized who hacked the park and so, understandably, he asked Zigried to leave, which...backfired?
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Y’all card culture is a lot. Everyone in the audience covered their faces in shame because they were so embarrassed by Seto Kaiba and I’m like...not sure why? Because he didn’t do a duel? Against this guy who snuck into his tourney not unlike Rex and Weevil? This asshole?
Recall that the last time Seto played a guy who had a fake name it was Marik freakin Ishtar and he killed a LOT of people (actually, it was Alister, pretending to be Pegasus, but he also killed a lot of people so that still tracks). Card culture can’t seem to learn from their mistakes, although Seto clearly sees the problem with dueling a professional hacker in a digital card game on a hologram that may or may not be able to murder you. At least its not a magic.
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And so, tired of being humiliated on television, Seto decides to bust out the dueling gloves (well, not those gloves. You know what I meant) and use the equipment he BROUGHT WITH HIM and clearly never intended not to use in the first place.
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(I hope you enjoy this dutch angle that wasn’t quite dutch enough, so it just looks like they’re lounging)
Roland patiently walks over from...somewhere? I don’t know where Roland comes from whenever he pops up, but he waltzed over to hold onto this suitcase as if that’s a formal part of his job.
I say this so often but like...I don’t know what Roland’s job is. He’s like a valet/butler/duel referee/duel cheerleader/CEO/and I will spend the rest of this series trying to understand it. Part of me is like...could Roland be a temp worker at an agency who just gets rehired for a different Kaiba Corp job every couple of weeks?
That weird ass fourthKaiba, I will never understand Roland.
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Just one letter away from being a Zigfriend, Kaiba. Just one letter away. I know this because I misspell friend a LOT.
Zigfreind? Zigfriend? Damn it, both of them look the freakin same to me, this sucks! Why can’t I spell friend without autocorrect!?
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Just the amount these two fight when Seto clearly barely even remembers who this guy even is.
Leon shows up in the seats, pretending that he’s totally cool about winning on a technicality right after Zigfried went on a rant about how shameful, irredeemable, and mortally embarrassing winning on technicalities are.
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He seems to take it pretty well, smiling, sitting next to Rebecca, and then dissolving right into the background because this kid’s whole deal is being way too nice to exist on this show.
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Y’all we just had that art meme where people were redrawing that “How to draw manga face” and guys...that’s what our anime used to look like.
I mean look at that uncomfortable chin there, that tapers in for some reason. Those eyes melting off of her face. The lack of any 3d sense. This was an anime ideal for a very, very long time.
Anyway, the “how to draw manga face” is a perfect masterpiece and never needs to change. (But it is fun to make fun of it although I guess the person that drew it was actually a kid, which makes sense from a publishing perspective to have a kid make a book about how to draw stuff for kids.)
We see a little flashback of Schroeder and why he hates Seto Kaiba, and can I just say, I kind of love this little outfit. Kind of a shame that it’s stuffed into a flashback.
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Which is when we found out that Zigfried thinks Seto Kaiba did a plagiarism.
Which is hilarious because it was Gozaburo Kaiba who was plagiarizing Seto, so like...who did it first?
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OK guys. Lets talk about this.
APPARENTLY, there was some sort of contest to work with Pegasus...kind of like an architecture contest (which is a thing, when a city is doing a big project, they send out a call, and big firms will compete to see who builds it) and I GOTTA know what Pegasus’ theme was.
Like did he say to all the little rich kid geniuses “I would like something that makes my cards ALIVE, can you do that?” Then when Pegasus got a hell ton of holograms and was he like “But ALIVE--it makes it alive, right boy?” And when he was shaking the hands of each stupid kid was he like “So if I hypothetically put my dead wife on a card and slapped it into the machine--could she EXIST. Like...enough? I just need her to legally exist is all, and not like..literally of course...but enough literally to be a sin against God, can you do that?”
I just want to know if Willy Wonka Wonderkid Von Schroeder had any idea he was creating a resurrection chamber for a dark wizard. Like he has no idea that he dodged getting his business bought straight from under him and his soul shoved into a card. And it’s not like Schroeder was going to abduct Yugi’s Grandpa and ensure that Yugi would be there to save him down the road. Like I’m pretty sure Schroeder would have been sacrificed waaay before that whole island contest even went down.
Zigfried got so freakin lucky. I can’t believe he’s mad. But then again...
...the man swims in milk pools so like...maybe his logic center is busted? Maybe he wanted to die in a horrific murder island? I don't know what Zigfried is into, but I do know that because Zigfried doesn’t have millennium rod powers linking him to the millennium eye--so would it have mattered? There’s destiny reasons that Pegasus chose Kaiba.
Course...we never found out where the scales ended up, have we? We think it’s Shadi, but have we seen Shadi bust those out since Season Zero?
Man that would be a good plot twist that will absolutely not happen.
Yo, make horse guy into a dark wizard, show, I dare you!
Anyway, that’s all for now, but if you want to read from the beginning, here’s the link:
https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono
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mypimpademia · 4 years
Text
Bakugo, Todoroki, and Shinso quarantining w black s/o
Bakugo x Todoroki x black!reader x Shinso
TW: Swearing, refers to sexual activities at the end of each of them
Note: Yes, I did do most of this stuff in quarantine. [And they're aged up as always]
BAKUGO
He honestly feels like he's losing his shit
And he probably would if he did have you with him
You guys are staying up all night and watching Wild n Out, Basic to Bougie, 90 Day Fiance, all that shit
And of course Bad Girls Club
He claims he hates 90 Day Fiance and BGC, but he stays watching that shit, even if he has the remote or youre on his phone
His sleep schedule is fucked up
And by fucked up, I mean its a few hours past the old man's bed time
He goes to bed at 1 am now instead of 9 pm
But still wakes up at 9 am
He took a leave on hero work because of covid
He loves his job almost as much as he loves you (aw💖)
But hes not gonna risk his health for it
"Fuck all that bullshit, as much as I love my job, I'm staying my ass in this house. And you are too. I'll be damned if you catch it, especially if its from me."
Yall only go out once a week
He could minimize it to once every other week, but he tried that and it almost drove him crazy
There aren't any exceptions unless there's an emergency
Makes you wear gloves and use a reusable mask that he washes as soon as yall get home
And you get mostly essentials but he'll ask you if you want candy or anything and he'll buy a big box of brownie mix if you like brownies just to hold you over for a while
Also stocks up on meds like pain killers and allergy pills
No fucks given, he will hit up different stores for toilet paper
"WHY ARE ALL THESE FUCKIN IDIOTS TAKING THE TOILET PAPER?? I KNOW DAMN FUCKIN WELL YALL DONT SHIT THAT MUCH, AND HALF OF YALL PROBABLY DONT EVEN WIPE."
Hes gonna experiment with cooking more now that he has time
Writes down all the recipes that work out
Youre his taste tester so you best believe you bouta be eatin good 😌
If you want your hair done he'll order it online unless yall are already out
Hes gonna make sure that you're eating good and feeling okay because these are tough times 🥺
But hes gonna do it in his own way and act like he's not concerned
"Hey idiot, do you wanna pass out? You haven't been drinking water today, I can tell. I'm getting you a full cup, you better drink it all."
"You haven't eaten anything today, I'm making you dinner."
"Your hair is dry, come here so I can help you put oil on it. I keep telling you to take care of it, ill laught at you if you go bald." He wont
Also has you work out with him do you can stay in shape
Libido?
Yessir
Every other day, anywhere (except in public because hes not about to get sick), at anytime
It goes 50/50
Sometimes its just because hes in the mood
Other times hes feeling really soft and wants to show you that he loves you
All in all its a mixture of Bakugo losing his shit and loving you all in one
TODOROKI
He's pretty chill about it
Just super bored
Starts watching BGC, binges Basic to Bougie and 90 Day Fiance
Oddly enough he really enjoys watching Love & Hip Hop????
He finds it interesting
Especially likes Cardis season because its funny and hella memes came out of it
Don't get me wrong tho I aint a Cardi stan but you gotta admit that she's mad funny im a barb at heart tho
His crackhead really comes out over quarantine
He'll start referencing random ass memes
Hes mostly on leave for hero work unless they really need him
In that case he wears a mask and gloves out
When he gets home the first thing he does is reference BGC
"WHATS UP BAD BITCHES"
And thats how you know he's home
Goes to bed at like 1:30 - 2 am
Only because he doesn't want to be passed out if he's needed for hero duties
Goes out every other week
Mainly for basic essentials, but if you want a little extra he'll buy it
Anything else he'll buy online
Also goes to other stores to buy more toilet paper
Figured out that hes really good at crochets
So if you want your hair done he'll order any crochets you want off Amazon and do them for you
Takes care of you and makes sure your doing well all together
"Did you eat today baby?"
"How much water have you had today?"
"Have you been putting oil on your hair?"
Lotsss of cold soba
But he cooks a few other things so that its not the same thing 24/7
Asks Fuyumi for help when he doesn't know how to cook something super well
If you're the type to go to bed hella late, he'll make sure you sleep a full 8 hours
Even if you wake up after 5 he'll ask you to take a nap with him
Has you work out with him every now and then so you can both stay healthy
Not too much libido
He didn't get in the mood like that even before quarantine
Its not every other day like Bakugo though
More like twice a week
Anymore than that and it'll probably be because you needed it rather than him
If its after a mission it'll be slower just so he can show you how much he loves and appreciates you for being someone he can come home to and just being you
If its more spontaneous he'll be slightly rough but still a pretty slow
But it's a lot of crackhead Todoroki and soft Todoroki
SHINSO
He's doing fine
Just more bored than usual
I feel like Shinso likes cartoons so hes rewatching a bunch of childhood cartoons
Steven Universe, Adventure Time, Regular Show, all that good shit
Lotsss of cartoon quotes
Yall are having a pillow fight and he grabs 2 pillows and claps you?
"Cheatin ass bitch."
"Street rules, man." (Regular Show quote for those who don't know)
Please sing the bacon pancake song (Adventure Time) with him while yall make breakfast
He'll be so happy
If you do something stupid hes gonna do a lemon grab (Adventure time) quote
"UNACCEPTABLE"
On leave for hero work
Really doesn't care about getting himself sick unless he gets super sick or dies
But hes not about to get you sick
He'd genuinely rather get himself sick and die than get you sick
Yall go out twice a week
Once to get essentials and another just to get out
I feel like shinso is a decent cook so he'll cook for you
Write down recipes that you like
Also gets some off the internet
Works better with natural hair than braids and crochets
So he'll do slick backs for you and maybe give you a ponytail or something if you ask but he'd rather do 100% natural just because hes better at it and he likes natural black hair
Can also do half wigs
Takes care of you more than himself
So you have to take care of each other
"Did you drink water today, Doll?"
"I did, did you?"
"Did you eat today?"
"No, and you haven't either. What should we eat for lunch?"
"You havent been putting oil on you hair. Do you want me to help you, kitty?"
Small work out sessions
Maybe like 15 min a day
Full body tho because hes too lazy to split up days
Does to bed at like 4 - 6 am
Mostly just watching YouTube and binging cartoons and eating
Insomnia Cookies? (If you dont know, its a cookie place that delivers till 3 am and theyre so good-)
YESSIRRR
Yall gain back any weight you burned off from exercising earlier that day
Pizza, cookies, chicken nuggets, fries, fried chicken, etc.
Basically just a constant sleep over
Libido to the max
Once or twice a day
Nothing public because germs
Normally rough
But every now and then he'll get soft and just tell you how much he loves you and appreciates you
His aftercare for times like that consists of a bubble bath, lots of hugs, food and cartoons😌
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throughscreendoors · 4 years
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i may destroy you 2.4
I’ve just been reminded of how great things can be. Was watching some Fran Lebowitz interviews on YouTube and she was commenting about how little great art there is, and how expecting masterpieces from artists is insane. If an artist creates one masterpiece, that’s an exceptional achievement—and many artists get worse over time, not better. Also many artists and writers never make a single masterpiece, let alone a single good or great thing. By extending her thinking there’s very little great anything, which is harsh but true—but I May Destroy You was great.
America teaches us to measure ourselves by what we consume. The high schooler who likes the obscure band tells everyone about it until it isn’t obscure anymore, and he has to find another one to brandish. Digital media disrupted that, because there’s no consensus or mainstream taste to snipe at from the fringes.
Algorithms have deconstructed the taste pyramid into a horizontally organized structure of some kind. We’re all ensconced in our own permeable bubbles, sure, but we don’t really make those bubbles anymore. Spotify or Netflix suggests things to us based on limited data points, we select those things and think we’ve chosen them. I thought for a while that irony died in the early 2000s, but it actually just got sharper; now you can ironically and unironically like obscure and popular art at once from a kind of superposition. Carly Rae Jepsen comes to mind here—she’s simultaneously recognizable pop icon and marginalized indie darling, authentic new voice and post-ironic pastiche.
There is no irony or sincerity anymore. They’ve welded together in an atom-wide scalpel that slices everything all the time in our words and preferences and values, so subtle we don’t even feel it. We recombine before we slide apart into a pile of flesh cubes.
That flattening of tastes has meant every created thing—whether widely recognizable or obscure—must fit into some algorithmically imagined category (or be made to fit one). Perhaps subconsciously fighting that trend, endless new meme formats have risen in response (a kind of organic algorithm, perhaps). A VSCO girl wears these shoes and takes photos from these angles; this is the lonely divorced dad starter pack; here is stock market boyfriend explaining GME and AMC to his astrology girlfriend using images created on 4chan for incels.
As algorithms slice us more and more precisely into bits and we reassemble those bits more and more astutely into formats we can understand, something strange is happening. New categories and dominant values are springing up that seem unassailable, protected by these two alternating currents—particularly around the messiest subjects. People who overcome trauma are heroes; the world can be divided into abusers and victims, oppressors and the oppressed. Implicit is that nobody really disagrees with these statements anymore, they just wield them as truths for different ends. The positions can be inverted, in other words, but those are the positions.
Part of what makes I May Destroy You so great is that it tears those unassailable categories down. On trauma and sexual assault, those in-the-know understand that trauma constitutes a reorganization of the brain. Memories can disappear and suddenly reappear. Our emotions can fluctuate wildly. People can pursue dangerous situations they wouldn’t otherwise; they can reverse on things they knew to be true for years instantaneously.
On the other side are people who don’t understand or refuse to learn these facts, people who trot out the same debunked arguments (why wouldn’t you report right away..., how is it you now conveniently remember..., why did you go along with it for so long..., etc). The beauty of the show is it uses that idea of the unassailable category against the viewer, in case they are skeptical. We follow Arabella’s consciousness; it behaves like it behaves. It’s our job to follow its oscillations and make sense of it.
By taking that simple stance, the show paints every character as both hero and villain, victim and abuser. It is nearly overwhelming how interconnected and interdependent everything in the show is—swallowing it all threatens to destroy the characters, as it does our own minds. It’s not a coincidence that the bar where much of the worst that happens in the show is called Ego Death.
There’s a new-age positivity that has seeped into the culture lately that we can heal from anything, we can infinitely grow and expand beautifully into ourselves and into the future. The show skewers that point astutely. In truth, you don’t heal from trauma—it’s a rupture in our consciousness, in the very structure we use to interface with reality. We don’t “heal” from these things, we die to the old version of ourselves. We reach forward and backward at the same time, experiencing joy and agony at once as we’re sliced into millions of pieces and recombined into a new structure. As we scan over that inner structure in our minds, we’re liable to come across pieces that don’t belong next to one another. That’s what we mean by “processing” something, be it a memory or ourselves. We may cry and laugh in the same breath.
It’s a real challenge to use art to deconstruct the entire cultural moment, while also offering a deep and rich representation of inner and outer worlds that aren’t seen very often on TV. It reminds me of the horror in the futuristic surrealism of Random Acts of Flyness, but more optimistic. It’s more generous in spirit than that, and it reaches into dangerous areas. The conclusion of the show threatens to infuriate the primary fan base the show is made for (in one of the truest artistic risks I’ve seen on television in some time). It has nuanced takes on feminism, veganism, consumerism, social media, consent, race and modern alienation, and it does it all in consistently experimental way with an amazing soundtrack and a huge heart.
It’s interesting to watch a British show as an American with all this in mind, as I think the majority of Americans don’t leave that phase of consumption. It’s tempting to hail a show like I May Destroy You as a way to call attention to yourself; it’s challenging, nuanced, empathetic and so on (and because I like it, I must also be those things, etc). I think watching the show is more of a wake-up call than that, and it feels false to use it that way.
Artists have such a privileged place in society. They are the most interesting and the most inspiring, and now everyone wants to be one. But there’s a difference between being creative and being a good artist. I don’t think being a good artist is an intrinsic thing in the way racists allege that race is intrinsic. Still, I do think good art has to come from some kind of novel experience of the world—and even that isn’t enough. It must be matched with virtuosity of some kind. Possessing both of those qualities is exceptionally rare.
Michaela Coel made something that feels entirely for her with this, and it’s incredible that she managed to. The pressure to give in to outside influence, to make things more digestible, to accept money for a lack of control is nearly overwhelming in my own experience; I assume it must be for others as well. I think maybe this is another mark of real artistry—when your desire to say something so outweighs the social pressure to stop you from saying it (obviously, this isn’t the only mark, just one of them).
What inspired me most about this is it’s a show that makes good on its promise. It makes you think about the darkest, most shameful parts of yourself that you would least like to share with the world and challenges you to start sharing them. It encourages the kind of self-examination that truly might destroy you—even if you’re not a victim of sexual assault. It’s a terrifying feeling, but the grace note of it all is that "you” are always being destroyed by outside forces, and you are also always recombining. What “you” means always contains its opposite, it seems to argue, and for that reason, we ought to be dangerously kind.
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aylinaliens · 4 years
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I am officially caught up on Oxygen and I started it yesterday, so that’s a new record. I’m so freaking obsessed! And, I’d love some recs because I need more to watch. My first step into the world of Bls came from My Engineer which was brilliant and frustrating, but I loved it. Now, I’m just looking for more and more and more, and this started in July 😂. I’d love some recs and to pop in randomly to chat about the bls if you’d be up for it because they all kill me ~♉️
Sorry for the delayed response but I wanted to take some time to compile a list of recs for you. I tried to mainly rec ones that are mainly available on YouTube, Viki, Line TV, and Netflix but if you need help finding links to watch them let me know!
I highly recommend these (based on the previous ones you’ve seen or ones that I personally loved):
Cherry Magic: This is a Japanese BL that’s currently airing but it’s so good and easily my favorite of the year. It has a wacky premise but it’s very heartwarming, realistic, and soft.
Like In The Movies (aka Gaya Sa Pelikula): This recently ended like a week ago but it was a masterpiece. GSP accurately depicts the struggle of being the LGBTQ+ community and is just generally really well made in terms of the script, cinematography, and OST. There were quite a few BL’s from Philippines released this year but IMO this was the best.
He’s Coming to Me: Incredibly underrated which sucks because it’s really good. The premise is very unique and it’s another accurate depiction of the struggles that LGBTQ+ individuals have to go through. This is pretty angsty but hilarious/heartwarming/adorable at the same time.
Theory of Love: People either absolutely adore TOL or absolutely despise TOL. I personally adored it because I’m a big fan of angst, flawed characters (oh boy were they flawed), and OffGun so it’s one of my favorites. But fair warning the characters are frustrating. So frustrating that you’ll probably want to reach through the screen to smack them but if you hang on till the end it’s worth it. Plus they just released a special episode like a month ago and it really improved any issues I had with TOL.
The Untamed: this is technically labeled as being a ‘bromance’ because of China’s censorship laws but like...it’s extremely obvious that the two ML’s are more than just platonic bros. In the book it’s based on they were together romantically and the drama does a good job of expressing the love they share with subtle (and not so subtle) looks, dialogue, cinematography, touches, and music. The Untamed is very long and at times confusing but 100% worth it.
History 3 Trapped: This was my first introduction to BL and it spoiled all other ones for me. It’s about a gangster and a police officer who go from enemies to lovers. The plot is messy but the chemistry between the leads + second leads makes up for that.
Where Your Eyes Linger: This is a Korean BL and almost everyone I talked to ended up loving this. Sadly this is really short (only 8 episodes that are 10 minutes long) but it’s worth it. It’s about two childhood friends—one of them is the son of a wealthy family and the other is his bodyguard. It handles the friends to lovers excellently and plus the leads have a ton of chemistry.
Mr. Heart: Another Korean BL that was produced by the same company that did WYEL. It’s also short but it’s fluffy and adorable which is a big shift tone from WYEL but I loved both equally.
Life Love On The Line: Another Japanese BL! It came out this year and I feel like it’s really underrated. It’s based on a short manga so the length of the series isn’t that long (4 ep that are 20-30 min long) but it still manages to effectively tell a beautiful love story.
Kinou Nani Tabeta? (What Did You Eat Yesterday): I’m only on episode 1 but...woah. People need to stop sleeping on this. It’s a slice of life drama centered around two men in their forties who are already together. It’s wholesome, soft, and makes me feel all warm inside. Please give this a chance okay?
I Told Sunset About You: I haven’t finished this yet but it’s honestly a masterpiece. The cinematography...the OST...the acting...the script...I’m in complete awe of the whole thing.
Gameboys: Another wonderful PINOY BL! It’s set during this year when the pandemic is going on and it was really good—so good that it got a GL spin off (Pearl Next Door, I highly rec this too even if it’s not BL) and a season 2 which comes out next year.
Hello Stranger: Honestly the Philippines are thriving this year because this was another stellar BL! It’s kind of like Gameboys in how almost the whole drama is filmed over video chat/social media but it was very cute. I believe Hello Stranger is also releasing a movie next year.
Ingredients: This is literally just a very long supermarket ad that’s been going on for 8 months now but it’s adorable. It’s a very low stakes fluffy BL where nothing happens plot wise yet you can’t put it down. Plus...they were roommates ;)
Sotus/Sotus S: not one of my favorites but it’s one of the OG bl’s for a reason. So many people loved the first season but didn’t care for the second (but it was the complete opposite for me). This is kind of the one of the most quintessential Thai BLs out there so feel free to give it a try.
History 2 Right or Wrong: Bls rarely center around mature individuals let alone parents so when I found out the premise of this I was sold. Its only 4 episodes so it’s not the most fleshed out thing ever made but it was incredibly adorable, fluffy, and as honest as they can to address LGBTQ+ parenting. Basically it’s about this college student who ends up as a babysitter for his professor (yeah okay that premise is not for everyone so just be aware if you don’t like that kind of thing) and they fall in love. The whole thing is so fluffy and heartwarming!
Ossan’s Love: This is a Japanese BL about this thirty year old office worker who finds himself in a weird love triangle between his married boss and roommate. I know it sounds like a mess and trust me it definitely is but it’s hilarious. It was a wild ride start to finish but I loved (and hated) every second of it.
Diary of Tootsies: Okay this isn’t a typical BL I guess but it’s about three gay men + their lesbian best friend so you know what? I’m including it on this list. It’s hilariously dumb yet also addresses serious topics like homophobia/sexually transmitted diseases. It’s underrated and I’m so sad about it because it’s genuinely a delight to watch.
YYY the Series: do you know those crack videos on YouTube full of memes and references? Yeah. That’s basically YYY summed up. The whole thing makes zero sense because of how chaotic it is but despite how it’s constantly makes everyone ???? it also has a TON of heart. It’s so dumb but it had me reflecting on my life all the time. I really rec this not just because of how hilarious it is but also because it breaks the mold of other BLs! Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you can’t have a comedic show and talk about consent and how important healthy communication is in relationships because YYY does it perfectly and so much more.
Dark Blue Kiss: I didn’t love this but you might. It’s a sequel/spin off to like two other series (Kiss Me & Kiss Me Again) but you don’t have to watch the others to understand this. Just know that the leads have been dating awhile before the start of the series.
Great Men Academy: People debate if this is a real BL because the main character is a girl who can transform into a boy but I think it still counts. I really enjoyed this and thought the whole cast had a ton of chemistry between them—it was sweet, funny, and had the right amount of angst.
HIS: this is a Japanese movie (I know you said dramas but I enjoyed this so I figured I would include it too). It’s beautiful, angsty, and sweet. There’s a prequel series this is based on but you don’t have to watch it to understand what’s going on.
I have way more recommendations but I figured I would stop there. Hopefully if you give these a go you enjoy this and my asks are always open if you ever want to talk about BL :)
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Text
🎃 Frightful October Act II, #5 ~ Trust Me (Mark Lee)
Tumblr media
📑 Table of Contents
Genre: AU, Magic, Comedy, Crossover, Halloween
Word Count: 2,604
Pairing: Reader x Mark
World: NCT ft. GOT7
───── ⋆⋅🎃⋅⋆ ─────
“Y/N, what are you doing?”
You whipped around, putting on the most innocent face you could muster as your eyes met Jaebum’s. “I was waiting for Jackson to finish getting his makeup done.”
He raised a brow. “Oh really? What’s that behind your back?”
“A wall?”
“Y/N.”
You pouted, showing him the tree frog you held. It had been enchanted, so it was glowing a faint pink.
“Do I want to know?”
“If he touched it, he would fall madly in love with it,” you grinned. “It would be YouTube gold!”
He sighed, facepalming. “You know you’re not supposed to use magic outside of battle.”
“Che, where’s the fun in that?” you scowled, allowing the frog to sit on your shoulder so you could fold your arms. “There hasn’t been a battle in months. I’m gonna get rusty!”
“You’re constantly using your powers, you’re not gonna get rusty,” he chuckled.
“I can neither confirm nor deny that.”
The door opened behind you and Jackson stepped out, wearing a suit. “How do I look?”
“Tame and average.”
“You little – ”
You dodged when Jackson tried to grab you, using Jaebum as a shield. “You’re far too slow to catch me!”
Jaebum could only sigh as Jackson chased you around the hall, trying and failing to grab you. When did he sign up to be a parent? More importantly, where could he unsign?
A burst of power suddenly struck you and you froze, your senses hyper-aware as you tried to hone into the source. You almost had it tracked down when Jackson tackled you to the ground, making you lose your connection.
“Dumbass!” you cursed at him, smacking his head. “Can’t you feel that?”
“Feel what?” he looked at you dumbly.
“Do you sense something?” Jaebum inquired.
You nodded. “It only lasted for a second, but I felt a burst of power. Someone strong is in the building and they are using their power for something.”
“Can you track it?”
“I tracked it to the east side of the building, but someone broke my concentration before I could get an exact location. I won’t be able to track it until they use their power again, but it feels like they are using a barrier technique to hide their aura.”
“Great,” Jaebum muttered. “Jackson, get to your photo shoot. Y/N, I’ll come with you.”
“No, I’ll go alone,” you stood up, offering him a smile. “No offense, but you’ll just get in the way.”
“Offense is taken, but understood. Be careful.”
“Careful is my middle name!”
Both boys scoffed, not believing that you could claim such a thing. You were one of the most reckless people they had ever met.
“Don’t worry, I got this.” With a thumbs-up, you took off for the east wing of the building, keeping your senses open for even the tiniest of magical spikes.
One thing you had learned early on during your training as a witch was to always listen to your instincts. As a witch, you were more in tune with the wavelengths of objects around you and the soul lengths of people. Even if this person was hiding their power, your instincts could still point you in the right direction.
You found yourself entering a large storage room, filled with old and broken equipment. The room was dark, dimly lit by a bulb that had seen better days. It was cold and everywhere you looked was metal. Why did this building have such a large room? You had no idea, but your gut was telling you that you needed to be there.
“Wh-What do you want from me?”
“Isn’t it obvious? I. Want. You.”
You followed the voices. A brown-haired boy was being pinned to the wall, fear in his eyes. A woman stood in front of him, holding his wrists in place. You could tell with one look that she was a witch and you recognized the magic sparkling on her lips as she leaned down to kiss him.
“Oi, don’t you know love magic is illegal?” you called out, stopping her before their lips could connect.
Her head whipped up, eyes flashing angrily. “Mind your own business,” she hissed, eyes turning red.
“When you’re making all this noise and breaking witch laws, it becomes my business.”
She laughed, releasing the boy to turn her attention to you. “You’re not an Archmage, what right do you have to enforce witch law?”
“I’m a witch hunter,” you grinned proudly. Your family had been witch hunters for generations, using their magic to uphold the law of their kind and keep the ignorance of normal humans intact. You were proud to take on the role, especially since you were the last of your family currently living. You didn’t want the bloodline to die with you. “Love magic is strictly forbidden. It’s time for you to be punished!” you held out your hand as your ring began to glow a bright red. The ring broke into particles, reforming into a short sword that fell into the palm of your hand.
“You’re a few centuries too early to beat me, kid,” she smirked, flipping her chocolate hair over her shoulder. “I’m giving you one last chance to run away.”
You hummed, pointing the blade at her. “I’m going to enjoy destroying you. Witches like you are my least favorite. I get that you can’t find love on your own, but tricking people into loving you is just sad.”
She growled out in anger, her hands glowing a light blue as ice started to form around her. She thrust her hands out and pillars of ice shot towards you.
You dodged, running between them as they sprung up out of the floor. There were several narrow misses, the sharp ice ripping your clothes. “Jinyoung just bought me this shirt, you bitch!” you cried out, slicing the blade through the pillar in front of you. The steel started to glow red as it heated up with your magic, flames bursting from it like a firework.
“Fire magic?” The woman scowled, slamming her palms onto the ground. The floor quickly became covered in ice and the temperature of the room started to drop.
“Jokes on you,” you dodged another pillar, slicing the one behind you. “I may have fire magic, but I friggin’ love the cold!”
“Shut up!”
True, you did love the cold, but trying to dodge murderous ice pillars on the slippery frozen ground was not as fun as one might think.
You focused your power into your foot before slamming it down. The ice shattered and fire rose from the cracks, melting the ice almost instantly. “Your heart seems pretty cold, let me warm it up!” you rushed forward, leaping over the wall of ice she made to shield herself. You landed behind her, stabbing the blade into her side. She cried out in pain, feeling the burn of your magic. Holding up your middle and index fingers, you said, “Seal!”
Chains materialized, wrapping tight around her until she couldn’t move. Her power had been sealed away temporarily. With her magic cut, the ice started to break apart, falling loudly to the ground before shattering into magical dust.
“Now I just have to call the magic council,” you sighed, raising your hand to the ball that dangled from your right ear. Movement from the corner of your eye made you look up. It was the boy, slowly backing away from you with wide eyes. He looked absolutely terrified. “Hey, wait -”
As soon as you spoke up, he took off like a bat out of hell. You looked between the door and the witch and groaned, knowing you couldn’t leave her there. You’d just have to deal with the boy later. Tapping the ball, it disconnected from your ear as you channeled a small surge of power in order to activate it. The letter ‘C’ was drawn on the surface before the call connected. A hologram of Archmage Taldir appeared above the orb, looking as strict as ever. Man, you hated dealing with that guy.
You cleared your throat. “Witch hunter Y/N calling in for a transport for a criminal.”
“Crime?”
“Illegal use of love magic on a human being.”
“Have you erased this humans memory?”
You looked away, scratching your cheek. “It’s, uhh, in progress, sir.”
He stuck his nose in the air. “You better complete the job or you can forget about your witch hunter status!”
The hologram disappeared as he ended the call. You groaned in frustration. Why hadn’t you just lied and said yes? Because you knew you’d be in even more trouble if the council found out you had lied. You had to find that boy, no matter the cost.
A magical portal appeared and out walked several mages dressed in black robes. They grabbed the prisoner, sealing her mouth when she wouldn’t stop yelling profanity at them. They stepped through the portal and it disappeared.
You turned to leave when a shimmer caught your eye. You approached it curiously, kneeling down to inspect it. It was a ring engraved with the word ‘NCT’. It must belong to the boy!
───── ⋆⋅🎃⋅⋆ ─────
For the next week, you kept your eyes open for the boy but had no luck. You had described him to the members of Got7, but ‘skinny boy with brown hair’ was too generic of a description.
In the meantime, you made yourself comfortable by sending memes to Jackson who was sitting across from you doing the same to you. You found the perfect gif and sent it, trying your best not to laugh.
He opened it, expression softening as a cute little bunny invaded his screen. Seconds later, it morphed into a demonic creature with sharp teeth, red beady eyes and its fur covered in blood. He screamed, throwing the phone into the air. It landed right by your feet.
You burst out laughing, clutching your sides. “You should have – aha – seen your FACE!”
He scowled at you, before looking away with a huff. “You’re such a jerk.”
“I know,” you grinned, leaning down to pick up his phone. When you did this, the ring, placed on a thin chain, slipped out from under your shirt.
Bambam noticed it and asked curiously, “Where’d you get that, noona?”
You held up the ring, inspecting it again. “I forgot about this. That boy dropped it.”
Jinyoung facepalmed. “You had a clue this entire time and you forgot?”
“Hehe,” you rubbed the back of your neck sheepishly as you removed the necklace, handing it over to Jinyoung to inspect.
He resisted the strong urge to smack you upside the head. “He’s a member of NCT.”
Bambam started to laugh at the situation. “We could have found him a week ago, noona!”
“Oops?”
Jinyoung sent Jaebum a look and the leader knew what he wanted. He took the ring and motioned for you to follow. You walked beside him, glancing over curiously.
“Where are we going, JB?”
“NCT is a kpop group and they happen to be here for an interview.”
“Damn.”
“You really don’t like to make things easy, do you?” He chuckled, patting your head.
You pouted in response. “It’s not like I do it on purpose.”
“He’s most likely gonna be with the other members. NCT is a large group, so we’re going to have to be patient and -”
“Hey, you!” You called out to the boy as soon as you saw him, but as soon as his eyes met yours, he took off running. Jaebum tried to grab your arm but you were too quick, giving chase after the boy. His stamina was great, you had to admit. You had chased him through the building, out the back, and down four blocks before he finally ran into a dead-end alley.
You put your hand on the wall for support, sucking air into your burning lungs. He was barely breathing heavy at all. If you had been a normal person, you would have asked what sorcery this was.
When you regained a somewhat normal breathing pattern, you took a few steps forward. He matched them by stepping back until he was against the wall. His eyes were shimmering with fear and his voice shook when he spoke.
“What do you wa-ant from me?”
You frowned, keeping your distance. “You don’t have to be afraid. I won’t hurt you.”
“What are you?!”
“A witch.”
His eyes flashed through several emotions. As bad as he didn’t want to believe you, he couldn’t deny what he had witnessed.
You chewed on your lip for a moment before pulling the ring out of your pocket and holding it out. “This is yours, right? You dropped it the other day.”
“You chased me… all this way… to give my ring back?”
“Uh, not exactly,” you rubbed the back of your neck. “Look, I’ll be honest. Humans aren’t supposed to know that witches exist, it’s against our law. Unless you’re a helper to said witch, but that’s a different story. You’re scared, right? You keep having flashbacks of that day and you have trouble sleeping?”
He slowly nodded, still not fully trusting you.
“I can erase your memory of that night. You’ll forget everything you saw and live a normal life again!” you smiled encouragingly, stepping forward.
He closed his eyes, taking a few deep breaths before opening them. Fear still lingered, but you could see him trying to conquer it as he stepped towards you. “What if… what if I don’t want to forget?”
You tilted your head to the side. Well, this was new. Most humans begged for their memories to be taken. Knowing that witches and powerful magic existed wasn’t nearly as exciting as most people believed it to be. “If I allow that, I’ll get into serious trouble with the magic council.”
“What about a witch helper?”
“That’s a hard job, you know. Dangerous, too!”
He looked determined now as he forced himself to close the distance, lifting a shaking hand towards you. You plopped the ring into his palm, watching as he took another deep breath.
“Please… allow me to become your helper.”
You paused, thoughtfully, head tilted to the side. You could definitely use some more helpers. “Fine, but you’re filling out all the paperwork to send to the council!”
He smiled softly with a nod. “My name is Mark Lee.”
“Y/N,” you held your hand out, palm up, and little streaks of fire started to form words in the air, eventually spelling out ‘nice to meet you’.
The fire reflected in his eyes as he traced the words. “That’s terrifyingly cool.”
You chuckled at him.
His eyes glanced at the clock on the wall. “Shoot, I’m going to be late for the interview!” With a bow, he bid you farewell before taking off towards the studio just as Jaebum rounded the corner, the pair nearly colliding.
Jaebum watched him before turning to you with a raised brow. “What happened?”
“I’ve got a new helper, apparently,” you shrugged, nonchalantly.
“You were supposed to erase his memory, Y/N,” he sighed.
“He didn’t want me too.”
“That’s never stopped you before.”
“Yeah, well… something about him is special.”
“You think he’s cute, don’t you?”
“…”
“Did you at least brand him?”
“Uhh…”
“Tell him the rules of being a helper?”
“Shit.”
“Give him a family ring?���
“…”
He groaned, slamming his palm against his forehead. “How did you even function before you met us?!”
“There’s a reason that witches are permitted helpers, Jaebum!”
He only sighed, grabbing your hand as he took off towards the studio.
───── ⋆⋅🎃⋅⋆ ─────
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jedivszombie · 3 years
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HI! For f1 asks - 5 (+9 if you could give me some recs), 12, 13, 23, 28, 32, 33 sorry if its kinda a lot you dont have to answer all of them!!!
HI ANONYMOOSE! Thank you for the ask, I hope you see my answers and I apologise for replying a few days late! I once again ended up writing essays so you will find my answers under the cut! I hope you enjoy them!
it’s hump day: let’s talk about F1 baybee
5. Are there any movies or documentaries you would recommend to understand F1 better?
So I actually have not watched loads of F1 films or documentaries but I have watched a few that I think give an interesting and varied perspective on some things. 
Grand Prix (1966), this is a film and a very good film at that! It has a lot of drivers from that era who make cameos and comprise the background drivers - so it’s really cool to see them. The story is interesting and the direction and cinematography is top notch! It gives you a really good idea of what older cars and circuits and safety used to be like, albeit in a dramatised way. There are also a lot of nods to how teams like Ferrari etc used to be at the time. 
Race to Perfection (2020), this is a recent documentary mini series that is made up of a bunch of different episodes that cover different aspects of F1 and its history. There’s stuff about how the cars have developed since the 50s, there’s episodes about Schumi and Ayrton and all sorts. Also a lot of ex drivers and people who were involved with teams are interviewed so it’s interesting to hear from them about how situations unfolded or to reflect on some of their glory days. It is worth mentioning though that some of the people being interviewed have a vested interest in coming across a certain way (I’m looking at you Ron), or are choosing to remember things in a certain way. BUT it’s a great starting point for a good overview of different aspects of the sport and how it has evolved. 
Grand Prix Driver (2018), is a really good insight to McLaren starting to rebuild under Zak Brown. It follows Fernando and Stoffel during the 2017 season and gives some interesting insight to how one of the most successful and well known teams in the sport started to change their image and rebuild to how we know them now. 
I would also recommend trying to watch as many Ted’s Notebooks and Weekend Debriefs as you can find - Ted Kravitz hosts both of these shows and they cover a lot of interesting aspects from races that have happened and explain a lot of technical and complex concepts in a really accessible way. They talk about the drivers abilities, the way the cars are developing, the politics of the sport and other very interesting and key aspects of F1 to be aware of if you would like a broader understanding of the sport outside of just the racing and drivers personalities. 
There are definitely loads more documentaries and things you can watch but these are the ones I have personally watched and enjoyed. I have a few more on my list that I would like to watch, such as Grand Prix: The Killer Years and the McLaren doc about Bruce McLaren. 
9. Could you recommend anyone?
I think this is related to F1 YouTubers? I pretty much only follow Chainbear on YouTube in terms of F1 YouTubers. Out of Context F1 has a lot of good little clips and snippets of older footage from drivers - a lot of it is more on the meme side/funnier side but there are sometimes interesting clips from interviews there as well. 
The other F1 YouTube content I look at is the team’s socials or the stuff from F1 itself and older interviews/features with drivers etc that I can find. 
12. Which was the first driver you supported?
The first driver I supported was Schumi - my Dad is a MASSIVE Schumi fan and I have been watching since I was very very small and Schumi was very much involved and on a climb upwards. 
The first driver I actually chose to support myself was Fernando Alonso, it was my minor act of rebellion when I was a child. I still loved Schumi of course but for some reason I latched onto my man Flonso. I also absolutely loved Jenson too, but again so did my entire family. But those are the first three that I supported and remember supporting. 
13. Which was the first team you supported?
Ferrari baybee! Once you’re in, you can never leave!
The first team I chose to support was BAR Honda though - thank u Jenson.
23. Is there a driver that you think is underrated?
I have written a very long answer to this question here. 
28. Do you have a least favourite team? Which one and why?
Yes I do have a least favourite team. Red Bull is my least favourite team. I mean no shade to the engineers and mechanics and people working for the team because they are doing their jobs and doing their best. BUT I do not like their management in the slightest my god. I could rant about Red Bull for days but my main issue is the extremely toxic duo of Christian Horner and Helmut Marko. A lot of people talk extensively about the long list of Red Bull Juniors they have fucked over or passed over for the next big thing or not given proper chances to or actively fucked over (e.g. Buemi, Hartley, Sainz Jr, Gasly, Albon). But really you only have to look at the insane treatment that Jean-Eric Vergne and Daniil Kvyat endured during their time there. JEV was hospitalised trying to keep his weight down. Marko actively trashed him in the press and said he was lazy. There were jokes and comments about Daniil being on ‘shoelace watch’ after his demotion from Red Bull. Sure, if they drop you from the F1 team they will usually still sponsor you in your other series or help you find somewhere to land or even keep you on as a development/test/sim driver but at what cost? 
I know it’s F1 and I know the sport is brutal and to an extent there is always someone getting fucked over in teams or by the sport. I don’t expect drivers to be coddled but I do think more should be discussed about drivers mental health and the ways in which teams either help or do not help with that. Personally I would rather the guys behind the wheels of the super fast cars are actually feeling comfortable in their position in the sport and not super desperate because that’s hella dangerous for them and everyone else on track. BUT with Red Bull it’s more than a worrying pattern, it speaks to an entire culture and is downright neglectful at best and abusive at worst. 
Also fuck Haas, they fall under a similar toxic culture from management in my opinion. 
32. Which one is your favourite team principle and why?
I wrote my answer out in a previous ask here.
But I also just wanna do an honourable shout out to my man Franz Tost, he’s been putting in the work with the Red Bull Juniors and managing to nurture quite a few of them to success over the past decade and keeping a rather chaotic ship running - sure he’s not perfect but he’s been doing a pretty dope job, their treatment of Daniil aside.
33. Do you have a favourite team principle duo or ship?
I also answered this question here.
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etraytin · 4 years
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Quarantine, Day 186-187
September 13-14 It's been a couple of difficult days and I'm pretty tired, so who knows how long I will type tonight. It's funny, sometimes I start to journal and really get on a cathartic roll that makes me feel better, while other times I just pound out enough to let me feel I have done my job in chronicling my life for another day. And it's really hard to tell ahead of time which is going to be which.
Sunday was supposed to be the day when we finished the kiddo's room, but he got very little done even with my help. He melted down a couple of times throughout the day while I was trying to get him to do even a little work on his room, and then again at bedtime when he decided that he hated everything about the new bed and it was terrible. He wound up sleeping on the couch, which made my life more complicated because he did not want any noise or lights when he was sleeping on the couch. At least he did eventually go to sleep, I guess. I ended up snapping at him once when he didn't deserve it and had to apologize, and had to word my apology very carefully inside my head so it didn't come out sounding like "I'm sorry I'm at the end of my rope because you drove me crazy today" because that would be a pretty shitty apology. I think I said something about it being a long day and I was tired but I should not have snapped at him. We were okay then but I was frustrated at myself and the world in general. 
Husband has been having some health issues lately as well, old problems acting up in new ways, worrying both of us and making it hard for him to get peaceful rest. He's seen a couple of doctors but they haven't been particularly responsive so far. My biggest line item for tomorrow is going to be goosing the doctor's office for the referral he needs, just so he can stop worrying! We could all use a few less worries. 
Today we had the kiddo's annual checkup with the doctor, which we started prepping for on Friday. Last year's checkup was a DISASTER because I did not know there was going to be a blood test involved and the kiddo is not on board with needles any time for any reason. Today was better because he got over being upset on Friday and we spent the weekend building up the idea that it was going to be okay. Yesterday we spent some time finding funny Avatar: the Last Airbender meme compilations on YouTube so he would have something distracting to watch on my phone, and discussing how when it comes down to it, kitten claws are probably more painful than a flu shot, which he was also due for today. 
Anyway, the needles today went all right, he did a very good job considering his level of needle anxiety. Anxiety was sort of the theme of the day actually; talking with the doctor about how he's been feeling and what's been going on, and how sometimes it seems so hard just to keep the kiddo on an even keel. The doctor, who is an excellent doctor and takes a lot of time during the annual checkup especially, said that he's heard a whole lot of this going around, and the pandemic has been incredibly hard on kids this year. We talked about everything we're already doing and some new things to try, and we're going to go back in a month. The visit was exhausting, but good I think. We celebrated with a trip to McDonalds, the kiddo's favorite treat. 
Since by the time the appointment was over it was too late for class anyway, we headed straight down to the IKEA in Norfolk to do some room stuff shopping. Kiddo was in a much more rational mood about the new bed today when he wasn't so tired, and I sweetened the deal by helping him pick out some stuff for it. He got sheets for the bed, along with an incredibly fluffy faux-fur pillow that he adores and a string of little lights for the bedrail. We also talked about how we can make the ladder rungs more padded and less ouchy, as well as the possibility of doing what I always did with my loft bed and use other pieces of furniture (chair, dresser) as a step up ladder. Unfortunately, IKEA currently seems to be sold out of basically every kind of large dresser. We were hoping for a six-drawer MALM, but they were out of every color. Five drawer MALMs were gone too, as well as the similarly sized HEMES. They said they've been having a lot of problems with their supplier, and that they hoped to get some in at the end of next week. The tags we looked at on the floor said they were planning on being restocked September 13, which is yesterday, so I'm not super optimistic. Still, if we don't find something this week, I'll probably go back down there. 
Despite this frustration, we were able to successfully get the office chair we badly needed, as well as a large assortment of odds and ends including Lilleplutt III. Lilleplutt is the name of Ikea's small-medium stuffed cat, an ideal fake mama for lonely kittens. Lilleplutt I did yeoman's work with Latte, one of my singleton fosters last year, while Lilleplutt II went into service with a tiny fuzzy feral baby we picked up in the street a couple months ago. Lilleplutt III will likely end up in a similar occupation, though in the meantime she will keep the kiddo company as part of his stuffed toy coterie. The IKEA restaurant was closed, bummer, but I at least took home some lingonberry jam. 
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After IKEA we ran across town and did the mystery shop that subsidized the gas for the trip to Norfolk. The kiddo is an old pro at mystery shopping now and is a little bit hilarious when he tries extra hard to be Friendly Local Child. He ended up getting most of our shared milkshake and was happy. There was surprisingly little traffic on the trip home, but after such a long day and a bunch of driving and shopping, I was very stressed out. Especially when Husband called and I realized that 24 cups of water had not been enough for the beans I was trying to slow simmer all day and they were ruined. Ugh, very disappointing! 
But he had Taco Bell for dinner and the kiddo and I were full from shopping, so it was generally not terrible. We put the kiddo's new mattress up on the bed (it arrived in the mail yesterday but needed 24 hours to recover from its travels) and made it up with the new sheets. I put his fan on the old dresser to put it high enough to reach the bed, and we discovered that with the low-slung purpose-bought mattress, not only was there more room to move around, but he can sit on the bed with a couple inches of clearance to the ceiling and has basically no risk of rolling over the bedframe and off the bed. He actually went to sleep in his bed tonight, hurrah! 
I guess this is one of the nights where talking things through was helpful. There's a lot going on and it makes sense to be stressed out, no matter what my brain tries to tell me about being lazy and not doing enough stuff. I'm going to try and take the advice I keep giving the kiddo and get some sleep. Tomorrow is another busy day and I think we'll all need it. 
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nicol3houghts · 5 years
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STOP WATCHING THE OFFICE:   other things to watch this summer
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Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE ZIE OFFICE!! But as much as it pains me to say, the office isn’t a personality trait, so I’ve decided to make a list (e.g. Buzzfeed lists) of my top 16 recommendations for TV and podcasts to watch and listen to—since we all need to stop being basic bitches and FOCUS! 
I hope you listen to me when I say these shows are amazing and actually watch them if you have the time. I'm doing this because I care about you and your TV preferences.
I'll break it up by streaming service, starting with Netflix then Hulu, YouTube, then Podcasts last.
*I apologize in advance for the lousy grammar and lack of editing, but also not really sorry bout it.
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On NETFLIX:
1. Arrested Development
Number of Seasons: 5
Number of Episodes: 91
Hours to Binge: 35
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Okay, number one on my list is Arrested development. A lot of people I talk to, especially in my age range, don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about, but this show is GENIUS... on G*D. I’ve watched it around four times now, and each time it gets better and better. I read somewhere that it was created as a satire of Bush-era incompetence and idiotic hanky-panky during the Iraq war. But at its heart, the show’s about a rich family with four adult children—who are all goofy and quirky. Their dad get’s thrown in jail for doing business with terrorists or something like that and Micheal Bluth (Jason Bateman) has to get them out of weird ass situations.
youtube
Above is one of my favorite scenes  (Best clip I could find on youtube!!).
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This show has a LOT of jokes and long running bits that you kind of have to pay attention to to get the storyline. It’s hella META, and at times, can be really weird (see George Micheal Bluth and Maeby Fünke’s little Les Cousins Dangereux). In conclusion, however, Jason Bateman is hot, Micheal Cera is hot, and Tony Hale is ~super~ hot.
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P.S. a lot of memes come from this show that you would know but don’t know that it’s from this show.
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2. The Haunting of Hill House
Number of Seasons: 1
Number of Episodes: 10
Hours to binge: 9
youtube
Scary as f*ck! Do not watch yourself or u will die. I warned you.
I'm not going to spoil it too much, but it's about a family living in a spooky house and crazy ass shit keeps happening to them. They eventually move out, but even 20 years after--when the kids are all adults--the haunting of the house follows them.
There's even a 17 min scene that they shot in one shot!!!!!!!! That's wiLD.
3. Schitt's Creek
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Number of Seasons: 5
Number of Episodes: 66
Hours to binge: 25
Yet another show about a rich family loosing all their money. A bit different than Arrested Development. This show is about a rich ass family loosing all their money and resorting to live in Schitt's Creek--a town in Nowhere, U.S.A. the family bought as a JOKE. It's a really easy watch. The characters in this show are SO un-relatable and mean it's hilarious--only if u f*ck wit dry humor tho.
Here's my favorite character, Alexis Rose just being iconic:
youtube
Give it a try, the first few episodes are rocky, but it gets better. That's a guarantee.
4. American Vandal
Number of Seasons: 2
Number of Episodes: 16
Hours to binge: 9
A lot of people already probs watch this show, but it's honestly so beautifully written. The show is an homage to Making a Murderer, a true crime mockumentary of sorts. It follows two guys, Sam and Peter as they try to figure out a mystery: WHO DREW D*CKS ON THE TEACHER'S CARS?
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Also, JIMMY TATRO!!!!!
Season 2 follows a different crime and it's... it's poopy.
5. Mindhunter
Number of Seasons: 1
Number of Episodes: 10
Hours to binge: 9
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YUH. Just started this, already on ep. 8, very interesting. Mindhunter is about the first FBI agents to use profiling to catch serial killers. THE CHARACTERS IN THIS SHOW WALKED SO THAT HOTCH AND REID COULD RUN.
This show is no joke and based on true serial killers like the coed killer, the shoe fetish killer, and BTK, it's very.... very creepy.
ALWAYS carry pepper spray on ya, that's fer sher.
6. Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
pinot noir, caviar
7. John Mulaney: The Comeback Kid
eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs
8. The Good Place
is it really the good place?
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On Hulu:
9. Broad City
Number of Seasons: 5
Number of Episodes: 50
Hours to binge: 18
One of the greatest television series of all time about two baller best fraaands who get into the schemes of the century in New York City. Illana, a ferocious kween wit ZERO f*cks, and Abbi, an aspiring artiste with a great ass. The two work min-wage jobs in NYC (so they're broke) and they're just trying to find luv and a good bacon egg and cheese.
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Think Sex and the City but fresh and new and wild. Abbi and Ilana's dialogue and schemes are relatable af, it makes it seem like you're there with them. Their co-dependency is so powerful... yet at moments, a lil destructive. I once had a friendship like this.. and let me tell you... co-dependency is a wild ride.
youtube
Some of the funniest scenes in this show is just of them talking on the street. Sometimes, when I'm walking with my friends, I pretend like I'm in the show lol.
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I recommend you start from beginning to end because of the endless callbacks and running gags, but if not start with season 3, episode 7 B&B-NYC. Blake Griffin is in it.
10. Community
Number of Seasons: 6
Number of Episodes: 110
Hours to binge: 41
What can I say about this show to make you watch it? Well first of all the fact that Childish Gambino (Donald Glover) is in it should already have you clicking over to Hulu by now.
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Community is about seven quirky misfits: a disbarred lawyer, a failed housewife, an activist everyone hates, a racist old man, a stupid jock who lost his sports scholarship, a high-strung know-it-all who took too much adderall, and abed. They all end up at Greendale Community College with a phsyco spanish teacher and a colorful dean. 
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This show is kind of a parody of a sitcom, and it is VERY meta--often referring to themselves as TV show characters. The seven get into hilarious adventures and obstacles along the way. The show also genre hops from time to time. For example, they have a whole pillow fort vs. blanket fort episode (Pillows and Blankets, season 3, episode 4) in a Ken Burns documentary style, an episode in claymation for Christmas (Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas, season 2, episode 11), and a bunch of paintball episodes in style of Quentin Tarantino and StarWars.
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Again, you should start at the beginning, but if you want to get into it quickly, I really loved Pillows and Blankets (season 3, episode 4).
11. The Mindy Project
As a "petite asian woman" who is not petite, this show is very relatable. About finding love and eating good in the big apple.  
P.S. If you don't like Kelly from the office, you're dead 2 m3.
12. Brooklyn 99
Cool. coolcoolcoolcool. Jake Peralta is the greatest detective/genius.
13. Superstore
If Walmart and the office had a baby and it was incompetent.
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On YouTube and Facebook Watch:
14. The Real Bros of Simi Valley
Number of Seasons: 2
Number of Episodes: 14
Hours to binge: 4
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You straight up know these guys, fool. Four stoner/burn-outs who think your hometown's Mexican food is the best in the world. Amazingly written and surprisingly good acting. Lightweight lowkey thought they were speaking another language at first.
Jimmy Tatro, Cody Ko, Getter, and Nick Colletti. What more do you want? LITERALLY WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?
The unnecessary drama and endless quotable jokes in this show leads you wanting more with only 14 episodes totaling at around four hours.
Watch the first season YouTube here:
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybcPQVipNAw
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Podcasts:
15. Tiny Meat Gang
Aha hah bro last night was a movie bro ON GOD.
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Noel Miller and Cody Ko talk about literally anything, but goofy. I can listen to them talk for straight up hours.
I usually listen on Apple Podcasts, but you can also watch on YouTube:
https://youtu.be/ZCMs4FrC_c0
Just start listening, bro.
16. My Favorite Murder
No shade to Codel, but My Favorite Murder is my all time favorite podcast. Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark  are two hilarious women who love murder. Not murdering, but the psychology of murderers and survivors. Each Thursdays each of them tell a story about a murder. They don't make fun of murders, but it's their banter that makes it fun to listen to.
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If you're a fan of true crime at all, please listen so I have more people to talk about it with. shouts outs Jenna for putting me on to the show!
Here are my favorite episodes!
*tip: skip the first 15-20 min to the first murder when first listening.
150: How Dare You Kill Kelli
The Hanging of Alice Riley and The Murder of Reyena Marroquin
131: The Uninhibited
The Murder of Standford White and The Case of the Boys on the Tracks
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lcgendcfzvlda · 5 years
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☆ — wait , is that ZELDA KING ? dean lockwood has been looking for them . you didn’t hear it from me but , apparently the JUNIOR might know something about the whole omega chi & kappa tau situation . while they can be BRASH & IMPULSIVE , they’re far too WELCOMING & COURAGEOUS  to be involved , right ? those who know them say they’re reminded of FLANNELS WRAPPED AROUND THE WAIST, THE CLICKING OF A CAMERA, A COMPUTER SCREEN ILLUMINATING A PITCH BLACK ROOM, THE “IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA” THEME, BAGPIPES PLAYING IN THE DISTANCE whenever they’re around .  honestly , the DIGITAL MEDIA major should try to keep their head down . after the events of last semester , lockwood is out for blood . did you know that ZELDA is a member of GAMMA RHO ALPHA ? that might explain why their name is being brought up .
                                               you’re an explosion , you’re dynamite                                                   playlist. pinterest. to listen as you read.                                                like for a plotting dm on tumblr , react for a discord dm                                                rocky lynch lovebot / hylia.#0329 on discord.
WOOOO I really can’t keep myself from holding only one muse can’t I. WELL. This is Zelda , a bit more of a happy-go-lucky muse compared to Sam !! She’s both her own character mixed with a few others I have - I love her dearly , so please please please feel free to come at me for plots !! <3 HERE WE GO :
HISTORY
Zelda’s backstory isn’t anything special - growing up in Scotland her parents had a nice marriage , she grew up an only child , always got good grades
But she always felt... average. She never was really anyone to anybody , so Zelda had a bit of a knack for wanting attention and trying to get her voice out there. So some took this as endearing , some took it as annoying.
In high school , she was lucky enough to be selected for an exchange student program in Salem , Massachusetts - and then she’d meet the FIRST person who would make her feel special in SAGA ( Sexuality And Gender Acceptance ) Club , a cheeky blonde boy named Cyrus who had a tendency to hide in the corner of the room and not talk to many people. And they’d date for about a year , up until Zelda would have to go back to Scotland.
They had to break up when Zelda would leave , but remained extremely close and communicating daily through digital connections.
ANYWAY , that little one year romance sort of gave her more confidence to use her voice and try and light up the room - since if she could do it for one person , she could do it for multiple people. That’s what gave her the idea to pursue a career in DIGITAL MEDIA -  namely , film & video ( with digital art and photography on the side ) in the more comedic aspect. Screenplaying and the technicals behind sketch-comedy skits. Stand-up comedy , even though that was more performing.
Think like Saturday Night Live - and then think of all the technical stuff that goes into it besides the acting. The script-writing , camera angles , etc. Zelda just wanted to make people laugh.
Soooo… when she told her parents that would be what she wanted to do , her average home-life would turn sour CONSIDERING they didn’t want her to explore such risky career choices. An easier life would be to become a lawyer or a doctor - more stable. But that’s not what she wanted. So after a LENGTHY argument with her parents , Zelda would be thrown out of the house with only the money she saved ( thankfully , she’d always been the frugal one ) , and would call . . . her ex-boyfriend and his mother. Since even though they’d only been communicating digitally over the past two years , it still felt like home in Massachusetts.
Her ex’s mother would pay for a flight for her to go back to the United States , and after some time of adjusting , she’d get into Hollingsworth to pursue her career in Digital Media - staying there , but often traveling home ( being where her ex and his mom lived ) routinely.
Pledging to Gamma , her insistence for encouraging people to live their life to the fullest and readiness to include people in her free spirited antics would leave a great impression on the sorority - eventually even leading to her current position as its president.
CHARACTER / FACTS
So again !! Zelda is my trans female pansexual bby , 5’11 bc tall girls make the world go round and she is the LIVING EXAMPLE of the Halcyon label. She’s loud , carefree , optimistic - never really known to pass up an opportunity to have fun.
...that’s so basic of an intro to her personality BUT IN MY DEFENSE IT’S EARLY
BUT YEAH Zelda ?? Does not give a shit about anything. She holds no grudges towards anyone , waaaay too chill - but she flips from extremely chill and laid back to “HEY HEY LET’S GO DO THESE TEN THINGS” and it’s. Definitely a 360. But nobody’s ever seen her angry and it sort of makes people wonder if she even feels anger or if she has a secret dark side nobody knows about.
...She doesn’t. Zelda’s only habits when angry are that she’s short , to the point , and WILL call you out if you’ve done something wrong. But making her mad is extremely hard and she’ll only remotely get upset if you prove time and time after again to be a shitty person.
Which , can sort of lead her to get taken advantage of because of her chill nature - that’s how the previous issue with Gamma getting in trouble at one of their parties happened. Zelda got pissed. She knows she’s chill but she doesn’t think about how that could lead SOME people to thinking “oh I can do anything I want and she’ll be fine with it” because she doesn’t. Get angry about much.
ALSO THAT DOES MAKE HER A BIT NAIVE - just again. She’s easy to take advantage of because she believes the best in everyone and automatically assumes people will do the right thing as people. Doesn’t really understand why people will do things to hurt others and doesn’t really want to.
Also kind of jumpy like she’s a social person and definitely flips between lax and loud but it is SO easy to startle her.
AS FOR HER INTERESTS IN DIGITAL MEDIA - she is extremely talented with the entire Adobe Creative Suite , especially Premiere , Photoshop , and After Effects.
She has an Instagram dedicated to posting manips , edits , etc. she made in both PS & AE. You know those funky Insta edits you see all the time ?? Zelda makes those.
She ALSO does a lot of editing and promotion for Gamma - a lot of times they’re memey little videos or advertisements or skits that display how welcoming Gamma is , and they do a great job at leaving a good impression on possible recruits.
Her BIG thing though would be a little YouTube channel she runs where she often posts videos just around campus - think Billy On The Street , which is what she really wants to do with her digital media career.
“I’M RUNNING AROUND HOLLINGSWORTH WITH A PACK OF WILD LESBIANS”
“LET’S GO LESBIANS LET’S GO”
She either wants to do that - or mockumentaries to put on Youtube ( or even documentaries in a whole that she approaches with her extremely sunny demeanor on conspiracies or the like ). She’d also like to film her own show to put on TV , either something like reality comedy , a reality show spoof , or even something like It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia or The Office or Brooklyn 99. Comedy film is her passion.
Commentary videos are ALSO something she’s considered , much like iNabber or Strange AEons , but she thinks mockumentaries , skits , and her other work
Also that person who Photoshops heads on people’s bodies and makes memes for all the group chats she’s in
She really doesn’t take herself seriously often but frankly that’s just Gamma as a whole so it WORKS.
A good portion of Zelda’s existence is a meme tbh I honestly adore her
She has a LOT of tattoos that were designed by her ex-boyfriend since he was an art major and now is a tattoo artist in Salem - I’d point you in the direction of Hannah Pixie Snowdon’s body art as a reference , just Zelda isn’t nearly as covered as she is.
This would be the best reference I can think of rn , lots of pretty designs and some animals, maybe some symbols and references from stuff. 
Olivia doesn’t have any tattoos but WE CAN CERTAINLY PRETEND
A lot of her spare money is made doing either graphics commissions or even photography from whoever needs her services !! The majority of her stuff has been done for cosplayers , budding models , budding actors and actresses , and even for other fraternities and sororities around campus. Zelda knows no rivalries when it comes to these things.
She’s also 100% that person who keeps around a polaroid camera so she can hang up pictures she takes she’s just That Person
Decorates the Gamma house with a lot of polaroids she’s taken and memey edits she’s done in Photoshop
INSIDE JOKES ARE HER THING
She also plays guitar and is fairly good at it but doesn’t have a band or anything rn bc she’s just someone who does it bc she wants to look cool ( and also bc the guitar’s a neato instrument but yeah she started it out just bc she wanted to play SOME kind of instrument at least )
,,,but she also knows how to play the bagpipes
and she owns a pair.
they’re in the gamma house. zelda plays them at meetings.
Also I can’t 100% guarantee she didn’t get her name from the Legend of Zelda series if y’all know me u know how much I adore that series so yeah
WANTED PLOTS / CONNECTIONS
GIVE ME A COMEDY SQUAD PLEEEEEEEEASE maybe even ppl she works to make a webseries or something with ?? give me people who work constantly just to make other people laugh
People she routinely takes photographs of !!
Whether they pay her or she uses as a muse for whatever
OTHER PPL FROM THE GREEK ROW THAT JUST DON’T… LIKE ZELDA FOR WHATEVER REASON
Maybe they think she’s too chill. Maybe they think she’s hiding something. Maybe they don’t like how she’s running Gamma but for whatever reason they just DON’T LIKE HER and I want enemies so fucking give me enemies
This is so general but more Gamma sisters would be lovely Zelda’s so eager to bring in more people to make their sorority feel like home
Give me crushes Zelda pines over !! Crushes that pine over Zelda !! Gimme that skinny love shit bc my god it gets me going !!
Hookup plots are also 100% acceptable bc again Zelda’s a carefree spirit and gives No Fucks
Also 100% down 4 cute romantic plots too - Zelda is ur regular poly pan babe w/ room in her heart for 12000 suns
it’s very on brand of me to place the romance/sex plots right smack in the middle as I’m thinking of what to put down
Okay when I was in high school we had majors and I was a Digital Art major and all the Visual Art majors had this bond with us for no reason so I’d really love some Vis. Art buddies that Zelda gets along with much like the bond she has with her ex-boyfriend now
OTHER PEOPLE TO DESIGN MORE TATTOOS FOR HER PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE one day she hopes to be a coloring book
I’D LOVE SOME UNLIKELY FRIENDS TOO JUST SOME GRUMPS ZELDA’S CONSTANTLY BOTHERING W/ HER SHIT
Memey group chat pls
THATS ALL I CAN THINK OF FOR NOW maybe i’ll do a more detailed / organized list soon but yeah !! Come at me !!!
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hotdadlicense · 6 years
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ahh for my dearest zhenya @fapfapfashion lover! heres that bfu post i said id make for you like monnnnnths ago i PROMISE i never forgot! just :(:( life. but anyway this was FUN i love youuuu! disclaimer: im not rly in the fandom this is all stuff i see through like just some friends reblogging stuff every now and again and whenever i go to the tag to find stuff sometimes but ANWAY I HOPE its semi coherent <3<3<3 love YOU.
OKAY I FEEL LIKE i said YEH ILL MAKE YOU A MASTERPOST FUCK YEAH but now im like hmmm making a buzzfeed unsolved masterpost is.......not that much cos its like? all there on their youtube channels like its not like music or stuff where theres yknow albums! singles! unreleased songs! special live performances! music videos! documentaries! band info! like its all over on buzzfeed multiplayer youtube and buzzfeed unsolved network youtube but whatever i can ramble about dumb shit and link some stuff so ayeee.
heres the links to the actual videos:
SUPERNATURAL
+ season one // two // three // four // five
+ supernatural: postmortem
TRUE CRIME
season one // two // three // four
+ true crime: postmortem
all eps in order (including postmortem)
personal favs
a vid that bab @chantillystars linked me and i watch it every time im feelin not fresh so i can smile
someone elses better done video round up master post! op ur incredible
now under the cut cos i realy did ramble :(
okay so THE HOSTS!
RYAN BERGARA (insta//twitter)
the fucking creator and inventer of bfu its his baby and im so proud of him and how far its come <3
when the season finale of the latest supernatural premiered it trended at number 1 over the fucking new lion king trailer and he got emo on twitter and insta about it and i cried a lil bit
fucking loves sports basketball or whatever themeparks popcorn and paddington bear
not scared enough of ghosts to not sleep in a haunted house but is scared enough that he absolutely will scream the whole entire time that he is in said haunted house
first ghost encounter was on the queen mary when he was a teenager. the ghost knocked his toothpaste of the shelf and he freaked. and now he has shat his pants at every bump in the night since. icon!
works his ass for to produce mass amounts of content for us like its fucking insane? all up there are like 9 seasons of bfu plus post-mortems and its only been going since 2014?? plus everything else hes got happening??
rly sweet and funny but like in a frat boi kinda way but like. a frat boi you could trust?
SHANE MADEJ (insta//twitter)
wasnt actually the original cohost!
(BRENT was the orignal host but had to beg out a couple episodes in cos he was juggling too many commitments so which fair!)
ryan and shane were desk partners and longtime buzzfeed pals that ? if i remember correctly? interned together back when they first started?
ryan turned to shane one day and was like ‘yo, wanna cohost this show with me?’ and shane was like 'sure.’ and honestly trying to picture it now without shane?? okay ryan and shane just bounce off each other so well theyre like a dream team. god bless them being desk buddies and work pals.
shanes a freak
does not believe in ghosts spirits orbs and all things that go bump in the night like he seems to genuinely want to but like. science and his big ass brain wont let him.
very smart! can rly work a patterned floral shirt! or plaid! kinda gives a dad vibe in glasses but then he talks and its like okay please never supervise a child!
v into history! so much so that he has his own lil show on buzzfeed aka:
RUINING HISTORY
stars him along with ryan and sara (his beautiful and smart and talented gf who also works at buzzfeed <3) with some other ever changing cohosts
hes also responsible for The Hot Dog Saga aka THE HOTDAGA and i know there are people that adore it but! in their own words! id rather walk into the sea.
ryan, too, hates the hotdaga and i feel like this was? about the hotdaga after shane sung something fuck if i remmebr
RYAN + SHANE
these gifs are from the ?second ep? i saw of them honestly it rly sums up the ryan/shane dynamic i guess
but like. the way ryan looks and laughs whenever shane says something mildly funny? hearteyes mutherfucker
above when i said shanes a freak? yeah.
ryan letting shane live as long as he has? true friendship
whenever theyre at the lil desk in their lil basement talking cases shane just talks shit and ryan just lets him and i fucking love them
the LAST FRAME
oh one time they lucked out with a hotel that had a jacuzzi tub <3
yknow what? this was actually kinda sweet. like yeh bitch
shane madej: nations greatest tragedy.
i can hear this in my head just looking at these gifs and it makes me laugh everytime and thats BAD cos a child fucking died
shanes a freak pt.2
OH SHIT one time in postmortem they joked that brent was coming back and shane was leaving and fuck? they had to actually address that it was a joke fUCK
its not all shittalking and screaming there really is some fond and happy shit too
bfu most recognisable and iconic line.
shanes hottest pick up lines when hes on site
the comments on the video for this ep about this part are fucking hilarious please read when you watch that ep
okay its common knowledge that shanes a demon which ill tlak about in a sec but THIS SCENE RIGHT HERE? ryans the fucking demon. like the way hes just standing there, hands clasped behind his back, giving shane (whos acting like a CHILD) that Look? demon bout to kill the dumbass chillin at a haunted house on halloween. come to collet a soul or 10. magical!
OKAY SO SHANE TALKS SOME BIG GAME IN THE EPS but HIS love for ryan will always melt my heart like HE LOVES and cares about ryan so much and supports buzzfeed unsolved so much and whenever things get dumb on social media shanes ready to call it out and make a post or just like. praise ryan (like he rightfully deserves) and yeah im emo about it anyway hes shane being cute part one and heres shane REALLY FUCKING going all out (!!!!!!!!!!.meme)i LOVE him also being cute part two
‘id walk into the sea.’
shanes a freak pt.3
ryan: “Are ghosts real?” shane: *this dumb face*
NERDS
i laughed for like 10 minutes the first time i watched this part thankyou shane
THEM LAUGHING TILL THEY CRIED ABOUT SOMEONE THAT DIED PLAYING THE PIANO
a real insight to shanes mind
ryan really puts up with this
shane got a bowlcut once just for funsies like okay youre no joba but good job i guess
TROPES/ICONIC MEMES/WAHTEVER:
shanes a demon
+ free real estate.meme
+ the office.meme
+ he aint right
+ JALDSHFK FUCK
+ ryan acknowledging that shane is a demon thankyou
+ like the good thing about having a guest fill in on the few times shanes been away has been ryan always being like okay so the demons not here so lets just acknowledge That
goatsman bridge
+ the video that started all this aka the one you reblogged hehhehe
+ what a fucking JOKE
+ an absolute JOKE
+ bridge owner fuck OFF
+ ksdjhfgjhsdkj.meme
sallie house
+ shane was insufferable this episode i fell in love for real how did ryan LIVE
+ like imagine trying to feel your heart beating while fucking shanes over there doing That
+ rock n roll buckaroo
+ swell has become apart of my daily vocal i hate
bobby mack
+ ‘hey there demons. its me, ya boi.’
+ ‘and frankly i dont believe in you, so i feel like im writing a letter to santa claus right now.’
+ tweet.meme
+ overall a great ep
+ can shane calm the fuck down okay i need ryan to make it out of this SAFELY and ALIVE
father thomas
+ ryans FACE also shane being that annoying sibling to ur parents
+ father thomas really went into this thinking he could help these boys to be fair shane was taking notes. ryan was just? dying inside
+ freak
+ imagine being like a 70 yr old priest hearing some dudes walking into ur congregation and overhearing ‘jesus said chill.’
bigfoot
+ ryan does not rly believe in bigfoot but shane does so like you win some you lose some
+ in the least shippy way possible this epsiode is ultimate soft gays going on a hike
+ like its just such a sweet domestic ep
+ <3
+ just happy babbey
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timeisacephalopod · 6 years
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Rewards Points
Remember that YouTube AU I wrote with Peter Q/ Stephen/ Tony? Well I liked it so I’m writing more of it. So this is more of that (also if you want to find the first you can locate it under YouTube AU and also IronStarQuill).
Tony considers the empty spot beside him and Peter is doing the same. “Have we ever done a video without Stephen?” he asks eventually. 
He shakes his head, “pretty sure we haven’t. How do we start this?”
“Why are we even confused? He never starts these things, most of our videos are us talking,” Peter points out.
Its true for the most part but Stephen always has something to say and now Tony is confused without his presence. “Maybe we should wait until he’s back,” he says,
Peter considers it, he can see Peter consider it, but he eventually shakes his head. “Nah, he’d be pissed we didn’t stick to the schedule. You know how he is.” Shit does he ever, Stephen is a damn stickler for being on time and schedule. It works for Peter, who’s usually under a time crunch on set, but Tony has never liked being on time or on schedule. He makes his own times and schedules and everyone else works around him.
“How is it possible that none of our schedules have ever conflicted with these videos before?” he asks. That simply isn’t possible- Peter’s jobs might be always up in the air, but Stephen and Tony travel consistently for their jobs. Especially him.
“We do dark weeks when none of us are going to be around,” Peter says. “Which usually means only one of us is around. Its just weird luck that two of us are here and Stephen is off doing doctor things. I think, I didn’t really ask,” Peter says.
“He’s giving a talk on spines or something like that, I have a hard time keeping up,” he admits.
Peter looks instantly relieved. “Jesus, I thought I was the only one. I mean you’re a genius and all that and Stephen can go on for hours if you let him.”
That’s an understatement but yeah, Tony has a hard time keeping up with language he doesn’t understand. He spends a lot of time looking up the terms Stephen uses on the fly but none of it seems to stick in his mind. Biology is not the kind of science he finds interesting unless it involves technology somehow. “Yeah, I don’t really care about spine things. I mean I care that Stephen cares but I don’t really know anything about it,” he says.
They sit awkwardly for a long moment before Peter speaks up. “What was this video supposed to be about?” he asks, defaulting to wrangling duties, Tony supposes.
“You pissing off studios because you thought it was funny,” he says. It’s a topic Stephen wouldn’t have much to contribute to anyways, hence them choosing it over other topics of interest. Like people’s weird need to know about Stephen and Peter’s early feud that Tony didn’t know existed but apparently got pretty vicious until they decided maybe they weren’t each other’s enemy. Tony doesn’t know if his total lack of knowledge of this means Peter and Stephen were subtle or if he’s completely dense but he’s leaning towards dense. Neither Stephen nor Peter know anything of subtlety.
“Right, yes,” Peter says. “So anyone who watches these things probably keeps up with me or Tony so you’ve probably already seen that trailer that nearly got me fired from my own fucking movie- like literally I wrote it, I’m directing it, and I’m one of the producers too, how the hell were they going to fire me? Okay I mean it can happen but given the response the trailer got I didn’t get fired,” Peter says.
Tony shakes his head because none of Peter’s fretting made any sense when his job was on the potential chopping block. “What the hell was the problem anyways? You soft of freaked out about maybe being fired but you didn’t actually say why.”
Peter sighs, “alright- so some background. No one wanted to do a movie about a gay guy who’s gayness was kind of irrelevant to the actual story for one- guess people don’t understand that being gay isn’t usually the only important thing about a person. So that was a strike against me. Then the problem was that no one big enough was attached to it so I asked Tony to do me a favor considering he had a lot in common with the character anyways so that saved my ass for five minutes. Then it turned out the kid that was cast as his son is trans, not like I knew that because I don’t make a habit of telling people to whip it out in auditions, so that was a thing,” he says, making a face. 
“Whatever. So when people stopped yelling about that they basically told me I was supposed to sell the story based on Tony’s fanbase but I didn’t want to do that so instead of making the reveal in the trailer that Tony is in it, I had the guys who cut the trailer stick him in less than thirty seconds into it and let the damn story sell itself. So that caused a whole new round of problems but people’s response to it was basically ‘wow, he didn’t use Tony Stark as his selling point, the story looks good!’ And that’s how I managed to keep my job,” he says.
“Not to be like... ungrateful or anything, but my fanbase is either a bunch of lovely human beings or the kind of guys who watch Fight Club and want to start a fight club. There’s no in between, and the guys who’d want to start a fight club would be pissed about the gay thing because dating two guys still doesn’t make me gay. I mean they’re kind of right, I’m bisexual but still, I’m not straight.” God knows he hates the half of his fanbase that thinks the time he spent drinking too much and acting like a complete jackass was a good way to live life but he can’t exactly do much about it now. Sure, he’s expressed plenty of distaste towards people who are like that, but no one seems content to listen.
Peter snorts, “oh my god, sidenote- one time Stephen and I looked you up. Can’t remember why but this was back before we stopped hating each other so we were probably looking for some kind of evidence that you loved one of us more than the other. Anyway, so we came across this entire blog that was dedicated to talking about how you ruined yourself by being too ‘PC’, and that dating Stephen and I was for ‘PC’ points. You know what, looking back on it I think that’s the first time Stephen and I bonded because we both thought it was hilarious that a real human being would genuinely think that you’d date someone just to be politically correct,” he says.
Tony lets out a long, drawn out sigh because this is the kind of shit he hates. “Yeah, obviously I date people to be politically correct. Bonus points because Stephen isn’t white,” he says sarcastically. 
“I think Stephen’s personality strips all those bonus points. I love him but he’s a total dickhead. I think I should earn more bonus points,” Peter says.
“None of you are earning any points, I’m not a points reward card, you can’t redeem your points at my non-existent cash register. If I were to award points though Stephen gets points for being a freakishly good kisser and you get points for being better at cuddling than Stephen,” he says. Stephen isn’t meant to cuddle, he gets home and if you touch him he literally growls until he’s slept for a few hours. Then he expects attention until he gets sick of it. Sort of like a cat.
Peter nods, “I’m not even mad about it, Stephen is a freakishly good kisser. I mean usually kissing is more a means to an end for me but Stephen makes it a whole show. Honestly I feel like a fucking golden retriever next to that,” he says, shaking his head.
Yeah, Peter has a lot less skill but so does Tony so its not like he can judge. “Ok. Stephen is a good kisser, that’s established. Back to you almost getting fired,” he says, preforming the necessary wrangling duties.
“Right! So yeah, anyways I also got into an argument about the kid, what’s his name?” he asks Tony.
“Peter,” he says. Kid is smart too, Tony likes him.
“Yeah, Peter. Eventually I got annoyed enough that I told them we keep the kid or I walk, which means you walk, which also takes your portion of the funding and they can have fun unkilling a dead project they all like now because you got involved. Needless to say I won,” Peter says.
Tony raises an eyebrow, “you did all that for some random unknown actor?” he asks, surprised.
Peter shrugs, “no one knew who I was either at one point. Then my fuckface dad almost ruined it for me when people did finally start to pay attention. Anyways, point is you and the kid have chemistry, I’m not recasting because I didn’t ask what junk looked like during auditions. That’s weird, invasive, and also technically discriminatory. Seriously though, the screen tests will not be the same with anyone else. If I didn’t know better I’d think he was your actual kid, you two work amazingly together and you actually produce good improv. Improv is hard,” he says but Tony doesn’t really know. He’s improvised near everything in his life so he’s gotten good at it. And the kid has talent and he’s fun to work with, Tony likes his memes.
“Pretty sure it wouldn’t actually matter, I’m good with him because I like kids, not because I like him specifically. I mean in two years he’ll be bitter and sad because the world is shit and seems intent on crushing people to death but you know. He’s fun now, while he still has hope and child-like wonder and all that.” Tony hopes he’ll be able to keep that bright light of wonder and happiness but he knows that’s probably never going to happen. Kid is different and the world has always punished anyone who doesn’t fit the status quo.
“Whatever, I don’t care if you like kids, I’m not replacing the kid I got for stupid reasons,” he says. “He’s fucking adorable and you two get along well, it’ll look good on camera. Less work as a director for me that way.”
Tony snorts because yeah, there’s the real reason Peter fought to keep mini Peter around- less work for him.
“Has it occurred to you that you forgot the name of an actor that has the same name as you?” Tony asks.
Peter shrugs, “I’m the best Peter so I don’t remember any of the others,” he says and Tony starts laughing.
*
Stephen ends up being called in to work before he even gets home, which Tony wonders about because jet leg is a bitch, but when he does finally venture home he sleeps for a stupid amount of time before wandering into the kitchen. He recognizes his own voice- ugh- and Peter’s and frowns until he finally clues in to Stephen watching the video he and Peter did without him. It got a surprisingly high hit count and a huge amount of positivity neither of them had been expecting. They hadn’t even realized why Peter’s name was suddenly trending on Twitter until they looked through the reactions.
Seems people were pleased that Peter stood up for younger trans Peter even though none of them seemed to have clued into the fact that Peter only did it to save himself directing trouble later.
“Peter gets too much credit as an ally, he only kept mini Peter because he didn’t want to try and coach chemistry out of another random teen that’s genetically dissimilar to you,” Stephen mumbles, trudging towards the coffee. His eyes are glued to it like its going to save him from jet leg and being extra tired after a shift at the hospital.
“Oh my god, genetics do weird things sometimes and Peter looks like his movie mother, Stephen, so shut up!” Peter yells from the living room.
“His features are still genetically unlikely, you should have recast,” Stephen yells back.
“No, I don’t want to find another kid who looks that good with Tony on camera. Mini Peter is good, I don’t give a shit about genetics!” Peter yells to him.
Stephen mumbles something under his breath as he pours his coffee. “Next people are going to accuse him of dating us for PC points,” he mutters.
“That’s already happened. Also how come no one accuses you of doing that?” he asks.
“Because minorities don’t usually scramble for PC points, we’re born with them. Don’t look at me like that, I think its stupid too. Also I think Peter’s bad self insert movie about the father he wished he had with a kid that could pass as his is sad and depressing, but also creepy because he cast his boyfriend as his metaphorical dad,” Stephen mumbles. He takes a drink of his coffee just as Peter enters the room.
He obviously hears the last bit of that because he goes from looking ready to fight Stephen on genetics to disgusted in ten seconds flat. “Oh my god, how dare- I did not, Tony isn’t- He is not my father!” Peter says, horrified.
Tony shakes his head, “no, no I am not and Stephen you need to stop that. I’m not playing the role of Peter’s dad.”
“Are so. You’re officially his daddy,” Stephen says, grinning as Peter and Tony both start gagging.
“I have too many daddy issues for this shit,” Tony mumbles, gagging again. “Please tell me this isn’t actually a story about the father you wished you had,” he says to Peter.
Peter is still gagging to his left, looking so disgusted he’s about to cry. “It is, but Stephen had to fucking make it weird, I didn’t even make that connection until he made it for me.”
Tony shakes his head. “No, absolutely not, I’m leaving you both and going back to Pepper and getting no PC points for it,” he says, wrinkling his entire face is disgust.
“Well, she’s a woman running a very successful company- technically your company- so I think you get a half a PC point for that,” Stephen tells him, smiling pleasantly like he’s happy that he’s permanently ruined Tony’s relationship with Peter.
“You did this on purpose!” Peter accuses. “You know how many daddy issues Tony and I have and you totally weaponized it!”
Stephen continues drinking his coffee. “I’d like to point out that I’m clearly the superior partner because I’ve never made you my father. Though, to be fair you look nothing like him even if you’re the same height,” he says.
“Fuck you, Stephen,” Peter tells him. “I thought you got over the jealousy thing.” He pouts, giving Tony puppy eyes but he can’t look Peter in the eye right now. Or maybe ever again.
“Sure I am, but I like making you squirm and also I do find it very strange that you cast Tony as your pseudo father. Just saying, I think maybe you have more issues than you think,” Stephen tells Peter.
Peter sits down on the ground before flopping over and curling into a ball. “I hate you and my life,” he mumbles.
“Stop whining, at least you aren’t my dad!” Tony tells him.
“You aren’t my dad either, you just had a lot in common with the character!” Peter says. “Stephen only made it weird because he sucks.”
“I only pointed out the obvious,” Stephen corrects.
Tony lets out a long groan because this is going to be a painful process. Peter seems to feel the same way but Stephen, the asshole, looks utterly pleased with himself.
“Also,” Stephen adds, “next time I would actually like if you waited for me to return to do a video.”
Peter and Tony flip him off but Stephen looks utterly unrepentant.
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