#affects not only the prev tags problem | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pajarinwrites · 5 months

Text

The Perfect Set 02

➳ fem!reader x Jacob

➳ wc: 4.9k

➳ TAGS: volleyball player!jacob, college!au, best friends to lovers

➳ WARNINGS: drinking, cob busts his lip and has to get it stitches, piv sex, cunnilingus (it's all not very elaborately described tho

➳ AN: i initially meant to only continue posting this series once i have all rough drafts finished but then i got too impatient and here we are, also i have been obsessed with jacob again, i'll get back to continuing chapter four now (i'm in a writers block with this story TT)

prev | next | series masterlist | general masterlist

Jacob watched you from the audience, the way your eyes were so zeroed in on your opponent, following their words with every ounce of your attention. Jacob knows the other girl slipped up when he sees the minuscule twitch of the corner of your mouth. I’ve got you, now. It seems to say. He’s seen it countless times in your practice debates, and in quite a few of your rows with him, too. Sure enough, your turn for a reply comes around and you take your opponents entire argument apart with a few well placed jabs. She gets increasingly hectic and starts stumbling over her words. Jacob almost feels bad for her. But when the jury leaves to discuss your debate any empathy evaporates. Your face lights up as you turn around to your team mates, who all give you thumbs up. He’s quite sure everyone in the hall can tell that you had the upper hand in that debate.

Once the results are officially announced and you and your team have advanced to the next round, you sprint over to the seats. He catches you in his arms and whirls you around.

“I told you, you could do it!”

“I could have been more concise in my second argument, and I totally forgot to respond to one of the aspects she mentioned, but overall it went quite well.” Your smile is blinding and he’s having a deja vu.

“You should take more time to celebrate your achievements.” You stick your tongue out at him but before he can reiterate how proud he is of you, a familiar pair of arms wraps around you from behind.

“You did so great,” Juyeon whispers into your ear, kissing your cheek. You blush furiously and Jacob feels sick.

“You wouldn’t even be able to tell the difference,” you tease him. And momentarily, the weird feeling alleviates. Even if you’ve gone on a few dates with Juyeon, Jacob is the one who always makes time for you, who goes to your debate team meetings, does research with you until late at night. He’s the one that is always there for you, that has always been there for you since you were children. So it’s only natural that your open affection with Juyeon would trigger an adverse reaction. He knew his team mate was a good guy, but he wasn’t sure if he was good enough for you. And on top of that, “could you guys not make out right in front of me? I’m gonna have to throw up.” You chuckle, detaching yourself from Juyeon in favour of simply holding his hand.

“It was just a peck, hyung.” Juyeon says, as if the exact manner of physical affection that you display makes any difference to Jacob.

“Either way, it’s weird because we’re like siblings.”

You look at him quizzically before shrugging. “No problem, we’ll just go over to that dark corner over there and continue. See you later!” You wave, pulling Juyeon along with you, while Jacob is left behind with the exceedingly unwelcome picture of you and Juyeon making out in a dark corner seared into his brain.

You seem to generally be busy with his teammate because Jacob sees less and less of you over the next few weeks. Juyeon also shows up increasingly late for training, often sporting suspicious marks on his neck or swollen lips. Upon the snickering glances of the younger teammates, he only grins and pulls his neckline a little lower. As much as Jacob wants you to be happy, Juyeon’s faltering morale starts to affect the whole team soon, dragging everyone’s motivation and teamwork down. After two weeks, Jacob has enough and asks Juyeon to stay behind after practice.

The taller man slinks up to him with all the time in the world and a self-satisfied expression on his face. “What’s up, cap?” He asks.

Jacob decides not to beat around the bush, “I’ve noticed over the past training sessions that you seem kind of distracted and demotivated…” Juyeon shows no reaction, forcing Jacob to continue explaining himself. “I’m definitely not the only one who noticed, and at this point your spotty attendance and lack of commitment are starting to affect the whole team.”

“But, hyung, I’m only ever a few minutes late. How am I at fault if everyone starts slacking off?”

“We’re a team, Juyeon. Everyone is responsible for everyone, to a certain degree. On top of that, you’re one of the older members, so the freshmen look up to you for guidance and motivation. Your attitude is having a negative effect on the whole team, and I need you to start taking this seriously again.”

“Or what?” Juyeon asks, his eyes boring into Jacob’s in a way that makes him squirm. He’s always hated confrontation, the fact that Juyeon is one of his close friends isn’t making this easier in the slightest. “Or nothing. This isn’t a threat, Juyeon.”

“So you’re asking me nicely? As your friend?”

“No, I’m telling you nicely. As your captain.”

“That still sounds kinda threatening, though.”

“I can’t help that. We’ve got a big roster of players and if you’re attitude and behaviour affect our results negatively, you’ll be swapped out. It’s as simply as that. I’m not doing this to antagonise you.”

“‘Course you aren’t.” Juyeon replies, his eyes fiery. He snatches his satchel off the bench and stares down at Jacob, who feels increasingly lost. “So you’re going to put me on the bench just because I’m fooling around with your girl.”

That’s an odd way to phrase it, Jacob thinks. It’s also a way that makes it sound way worse than it is.

“She’s not my girl, Juyeon. She is her own person, and this has nothing to do with her. Except that she seems to distract you from what’s really important.”

“No offence, captain. But if you think volleyball is what’s really important, you’ve never gotten your dick properly wet.” Jacob feels like he’s been slapped in the face and he doesn’t know if it’s his hurt pride or the vulgarity of the statement or the fact that he feels like he needs to defend your honour once more. He stares at Juyeon, taking rapid but deep breaths and doing his most to not loose grip of his amicable disposition.

“I don’t think she’d appreciate knowing that that’s all she means to you.”

“What’s it to you? Whatever we do with each other is none of your business. You just said she’s her own person.”

“It is absolutely my business if you’re hurting her.”

“Fuck you! You really think I’d ever do that?”

“Well if you can’t even—“

“Stop!” Juyeon suddenly screams. He’s fuming; Jacob isn’t even sure what he did to incur his friend’s sudden wrath, “don’t pretend like you know what we need from our relationship! If you don’t trust me, ask her whether she’s happy or not.”

Jacob presses his lips together, meeting Juyeon’s burning gaze with the same intensity.

“This isn’t even about her,” he reiterates because it feels like his grip on this conversation is slipping, “this is about volleyball.”

“I have a feeling that this is exactly about her.”

“That’s probably because you need to get your head and your priorities on straight.”

“Oh, sorry, that the relationships with the people I care about are more important to me than some stupid sport. Most importantly herright now.”

“We’ve got different priorities, then.” Jacob says coldly.

“Clearly.” Juyeon replies in a similar tone, “I quit.”

That takes Jacob by surprise, despite everything, and the words only register once Juyeon has crossed the gym and slammed the door shut behind himself.

Jacob stands, staring at the door in disbelief. Inside he’s still fuming, and it’s a feeling he doesn’t truly appreciate. He tried his hardest to keep the conversation civil but he still seems to have triggered Juyeon. Jacob decides to give him space to cool down, knowing that he himself needs it before he can face his friend again. In the face of overflowing emotions, Jacob always takes the same path. So he decides to do what he always does when he is feeling upset. It doesn’t hurt to get some more targeted practice in anyway, he’d been meaning to dedicate more time to his jump serves anyway.

He rolls the ball cage over the end of the court and starts practicing. Some serves, he imagines the ball is Juyeon’s face smirking at him. But most of them he’s looking at himself and feeling increasingly bad. Jacob is so engrossed in his serves that he doesn’t notice the door to the gym open and close again. Neither does he realise that you’ve sat down on the benches next to the court, watching him smash ball after ball precisely into the corners of the opponents half of the field. You watch as your best friend over-exerts himself, well aware that sometimes this is what he needs to turn off the incessant stream of doubt that runs his mind some days.

The first time you found him like this was the first week of your second year of middle school. He had just found out that he wouldn’t make the regular line-up for games this year either. Despite him sacrificing the better part of his free time to volleyball and never missing a practice, no matter how sick he was, his coach chose a different line-up. Of course Jacob didn’t say anything, ever the pacifist. And without his soothing reassurance, you would’ve stormed up to the coach in his stead to demand fairness.

“Nepotism,” you had huffed as you sat on the bench, watching your best friend try jump serve after jump serve. He was breathing heavily, his bangs sticking to his forehead at that point.

“Maybe you should take a break?” You suggested, earning yourself nothing but a burning glare. “My serves still suck. I can’t even land them in the court half the time,” he gritted as if that was enough explanation, and you had learned to keep your mouth shut. Eventually he would tire himself out, so much that he could barely lift his arms. Then he’d start collecting the countless volleyballs he had shot across the gym in hours before. You’d help him, wordlessly. And, finally, he would crash down on the floor in exhaustion, looking up at you with a sheepish grin, as if he should be apologising to you for burning himself out like that.

So today you sit there again, waiting for Jacob to tire himself out, as you’ve done countless times. He’s still going strong after half an hour and you’re starting to worry when he suddenly flops down onto the floor.

“Spent?” You call over. His head lolls back up, staring over at you in surprise. He just looks for a few seconds as if he hasn’t yet decided on an appropriate reaction. Slowly, a smile breaks out on his lips. “I’m so glad you’re here,” he says, which is the first time for him to ever say this. So it’s little surprising that it takes you aback so.

“Sure, whatever. You’re crazy,” you say, getting up and walking over. You hand Jacob his water bottle and start collecting balls all on your own. He starts helping you after a few minutes and together you clean and lock up. He takes a hurried shower, trying not to let you wait too long. The two of you are halfway to your dorms when you finally dare to breach the subject.

“So… do you wanna talk about what happened with Juyeon?” The frown on Jacob’s face manifests immediately.

“Not… really.”

“Ok, no problem. We don’t have to talk about it.”

“Did you talk to him about it?” His voice is quiet, nearly a whisper, so low that you can’t hear him over the sound of distant traffic. Only the campus’ eerie silence allows you to hear him. You haven’t heard him this insecure since the infamous middle school roster disaster. He’s staring at his feet while walking, as if he’s expecting to find a treasure on the floor any moment now.

“I mean, he talked to me about it… But don’t worry, I’m impartial.”

Jacob huffs. “I’ve never known a person to be less impartial than you,” he smiles.

You stew in silence until you make it to your dorm and you can’t quite decide whether or not it’s uncomfortable. “Do you wanna come in for a second? I still have that chai mix you love.” Your best friend lifts his eyes and there’s still a little hope in them.

“Sure,” he says, much to your relief. As he follows you up, you can hear from the heavy fall of his footsteps that the training exhausted him more than he likes to admit. Hence, it’s no surprise that you tell him to get comfy on your bed while you prepare the chai with the electric kettle in your room.

You hand him one mug, the one with the beagle saying ‘good morning’ on it, his favourite. When you sit down next to him, you decide not to prompt Jacob, instead giving him a chance to start talking in his own time. It takes few minutes and some sips from your drink before he takes a deep breath and looks at you.

“What did Juyeon say?”

“The usual.. you’ve got a stick up your ass when it comes to volleyball, you should care more about your friends, etcetera…

“Oh, he also asked me if I was happy. Which was… a little weird, just ‘cuz it was unprompted, you know?” Jacob looks up at you in surprise. “Are you?” He asks, “Happy, I mean.”

“Sure,” you say, unsure of where this is supposed to be heading, “I mean university is stressful especially with the exams coming up in a couple months. But other than that I’m pretty happy… Can’t say the same for you or Juyeon, though.”

Jacob nods sagely. “It’s just been a little rough between us lately and I don’t even fully know why.”

“Maybe it’s just tensions with the quarter finals coming up?”

“That’s probably a contributing factor.”

“All the more reason to make up with him,” you whisper, not sure if you’re breaching the subject too soon. But judging by Jacob’s heavy sigh, this is the pivotal point that his brain had been circling the whole time too.

“I know you’re right but… he said a few things. And I know, from experience, that he needs a little time to calm down.”

“He seemed just as confused as you, to be honest. Maybe give him a few days before talking to him. And maybe get him back on the team? How cool would it be if our university actually won this year’s volleyball championships?” Jacob laughs. Finally, you think, relieved at the way his face finally lights up, even if it’s just for a split second.

“So your motivations are entirely selfless?”

You rest on hand on your heart, “of course! They always are. I am a good samaritan.” Jacob smirks, falling back into silence, except this time you’re sure it’s a comfortable one.

What he doesn’t want to tell you is that he still feels like his argument with Juyeon was only marginally about volleyball. He was worried his friend might have told you that he thinks volleyball is more important to himself than you. (Which isn’t even true, of course. He’s pretty certain you’d know either way that you have always been and will always be his trop priority.) But he is relieved that Juyeon was right, you are happy in whatever situationship you have going on with him. And the mixed feelings he had about that were only due to his momentarily strained relationship with Juyeon. As long as he knows that Juyeon’s treating you right, he has no reason to not be delighted about you being in a loving relationship. He worries. That’s all.

After twenty years of friendship, you can easily spot when Jacob goes into a funk. So when he stares absentmindedly into his empty cup of chai, you know he hasn’t entirely gotten over his dismay about the fight. On top of that, you can see his eyelids dropping in real time. For not entirely unselfish reasons (it’s been ages since the two of you had a sleepover), you offer him to crash at your place tonight. He accepts, with a soft, sleepy smile that warms your heart.

You give him a spare toothbrush and oversized t-shirt so he can comfortably squeeze into your twin-size dorm bed beside you. You wrap one arm around him and he mirrors you while pulling you close. He’s so close you can make out the faint scar on his upper lip. It takes more than a little effort to push the memories of that night out of your head. Especially since it’s the first time he’s sleeping over since that accident.

“Don’t fall out,” you whisper.

“I’ll try my very best.” He whispers back, “good night, sunshine.”

“We have to go!” You squeal, “it’s team-bonding!”

Jacob rolls his eyes at you, “you’re just happy to be invited to a big house party within your first month of uni.”

“So what? Something can be more than one thing at once.”

“Yeah, except this time it’s not.”

You’re sat on the floor in front of Jacob, legs crossed, while he was on your dorm bed. He had come over in order to watch a cute animated movie with you, the way the usually did after he played and won a match with his team. Except this time he barely made it through your door before you started bombarding him with questions about the after-game party that apparently was a tradition for your university’s volleyball team.

Jacob was hard-pressed to tell you ‘no’, especially with your puppy-dog eyes and the way your oversized shirt had ridden up your thighs when you had planted yourself in front of him.

“Why do you never want to go to parties with me?” You whine, pulling on his arm lightly, while pouting. He sighs deeply, already resigning himself to giving into your whim.

“We didn’t even tell them we’d be coming!”

“Oh, please, Jake! As if anyone cares about that. I bet you half a dozen random strangers will show up and no one will care!”

“We’ll be late.”

“No one will be bothered by that except for you.”

He groans, dropping dramatically back onto you bed. You crawl up beside, leaning over him with a smirk. His heart starts racing but he decides to ignore it. “So… is that a yes?”

“Yes, yes, fine whatever.” He says, but he knows you can see the smile etching itself onto his face.

“You’re the best!” You squeal, pressing a kiss to his cheek that leaves his face burning. Before he can even react you’ve jumped back up, throwing dress after dress on top of him. “Hey,” he tries to protest, sitting up but promptly getting hit in the face again.

“What should I wear?” You ask, already out of your t-shirt. You’re standing in front of him in nothing but a bra and your high school sport shorts. It’s not like he hasn’t seen you in less before but with how out of sorts his heart has been acting this night he’s starting to think he’s going to have a problem tonight. “I don’t know, any of them look good.”

Rolling your eyes, your sigh, “You’re not very helpful, you know that?”

You pull on a cute red dress and Jacob is about to compliment you when you frown and pull it back over your head. As you continue to rummage through your closet, he starts looking through the dresses you had haphazardly tossed onto your bed and, by extension, on him. There’s a short black one that sparkles lightly if he holds it up to the light just right. He holds it out for you to see to inquire about your opinion. The way your face lights up let’s him know that he hit the mark.

“It’s perfect!” You exclaim after trying it on and spinning in front of your mirror. He wants to tell you that it’s not perfect after all, that the hem is definitively much too short. But he keeps quiet because he’s not your keeper and he’s never had it in him to deny you something you wanted before. Jacob waits patiently as you put on your makeup and do your hair, and is fascinated again by how much work goes into looking like you put no work into your appearance.

Finally you finish and make it to Sangyeon’s apartment two hours late. A stranger ushers you in. Jacob thinks it’s Sangyeon’s roommate, who he’s only met one singular occasion that left him with antipathy for the man, and the feeling is only exacerbated when said roommate’s inebriated.

“Dude, thought you wouldn’t show, cool you made it!” He greets Jacob, even though his eyes are still on you, blatantly looking you up and down. All that’s missing is him licking his lips, Jacob thinks. To his horror, you seem into it, winking at the player. Jacob's hand wraps around your arm, softly but decisively, and he pulls you into the kitchen to get some drinks. The communal space is full of his team mates. Most don’t pay any attention to your late arrival but a few stare at your ass as the two of you walk by. He’ll definitely need some alcohol to survive the night, he thinks. So that’s exactly what he does, he gets himself and you some alcohol, making sure to make yours mostly juice with only a spritz of vodka. Your reaction isn’t favourable but there really isn’t anything you can do about it now. Jacob would like to stick right by your side the entire evening but you’re almost immediately whisked away by no one lesser than his team’s co-captain. Unfortunately for Jacob he’s heard you gush about Sangyeon’s ‘bulging biceps’ on more than one occasion and he hates that the older man seems to have taken a liking to you too.

Jacob tries to distract himself by watching a different group of players have a go at truth and dare in front of the couch but he’s constantly distracted. Even more unfortunately, once he gets up from the game fifteen minutes later, you (and Sangyeon) have disappeared. So, really, he thinks it’s understandable that he drinks a little more than he initially planned.

After a few too many cups Jaehyun finds him in the kitchen only to announce that they’ve set up a keg in the courtyard downstairs. In his woozy state, Jacob thinks that sounds like a grand idea. Also, if there’s partying happening outside, you might’ve simply gone there and that was why he didn’t find you earlier. Jaehyun is elated at the fact that his party-averse junior is following him easily and the both of them are greeted with cheers when they emerge from the apartment building. Jacob spots neither you nor Sangyeon but he’s so busy scanning the area that he doesn’t even fully realise when Sangyeon’s infamous roommate sidles up to him, “Dude,” he whispers, “it’d be so rad if you did a keg-stand right now.”

“Uh uh,” Jacob replies and he’s been led all the way to the keg and is already halfway into a handstand before he fully realises what he just agreed to. Whatever, he thinks, might as well. So he let’s Jaehyun and the roommate hold him up while the tries to chuck as much beer as possible. The only problem was that Sangyeon and you decided to arrive outside at that exact moment. Jaehyun spots you and immediately screams your and Sangyeon’s name.

“Weren’t you two gone for a while? How’s the dick?”

Sangyeon and you throw up a simultaneous middle finger in response but Jacob can’t see that. He only hears Jaehyun’s comment and is momentarily so distracted that his hand slips.

There’s a few ways that this evening could have gone differently. For one, Jacob could have chosen to have a normal reaction to the person that is nothing but his best friend going off to fool around with his teammate. He could have drunken a normal amount of alcohol. He could have refused to go outside or he could have refused to do a keg-stand while being half a beer away from shit-faced. But he didn’t do any of those things. So when his hand slips it isn’t really surprising to anyone that he doesn’t manage to catch himself and instead slams face first into the keg.

It takes several stitches to sew up his lip. The same can’t be said for his chipped tooth. But the doctor’s verdict is generally favourable. “It could’ve gone much worse, young man.” He says at he shows Jacob out of the emergency room. Sangyeon, who had been sober, as it turns out, is waiting for him. He doesn’t have a comment as he leads Jacob to his car and drives him back to his apartment. He pulls up to the curb and Jacob is about get out when Sangyeon rests a hand on his arms.

“I’m sorry,” he says, leaving Jacob confused, especially because he still feels a considerable degree of tipsy, despite everything that had transpired over the last half hour. “For what?” He asks.

Sangyeon lets out a deep sigh,”I should’ve been there. It was my place, my invitation. I should’ve been responsible. And I wasn’t there.” For the first time Jacob sees his co-captain, usually a steady presence in the team, defeated. His shoulders are hunched over and Jacob realises the pressure that must rest on Sangyeon’s shoulders. He cares a lot, he’s a great co-captain, more responsible than their actual captain, to be honest.

“It’s not like you can be everywhere at once,” Jacob says, even though his insides feel like they're on flames when he thinks about where Sangyeon had disappeared to and with whom. Still, he’s great when he can tease a small smile from the older man’s lips.

“Thank you, Jacob. You’d make a great captain someday.” The man in question is more than a little taken aback.

“Because I showed such a great tendency for responsibility tonight?”

Sangyeon laughs, “No. Because you care, and you can read people very well. You’ll grow into it, don’t worry.” He smiles as if he has insight into the future in a way that Jacob doesn’t. “I’ll take better care of you from now on. But right now…” He looks out the passenger side window, past Jacob. “I think someone’s waiting for you.”

Jacob turns around, seeing you cowered on the steps to his dorm, your arms wrapped around yourself protectively.

Jacob waves Sangyeon off as his car drives off. He sits down next to you, bathing in the silence until the car lights have long faded away. When you still remain motionless next to him, he takes your hand in his softly and tugs you up the stairs to his dorm. He’s never been so happy that he has a solo dorm as when you wrap your arms around him fiercely the second his room door slams shut. He huffs as you press all the air out of his lungs.

“Are you okay?” You whisper into the side of his neck and he nods. You look up, your eyes big and shiny from tears that you must’ve cried before he arrived. He cradles your cheek to wipe the lingering traces of them away, but before he has the chance you close the distance between the two of you.

The press of your lips is light as a feather, unsure whether or not you’ve made the right decision. Jacob blames it on the alcohol, in hindsight. Otherwise there is no way he would’ve been ready to throw twenty years of friendship out the window. He moves his lips against yours, hungrily, because he’s afraid you might change your mind. But instead you wrap your arms around him more closely, trailing them up his back and his whole skin brakes out in goosebumps. One of your hands tangles in his hair, much more forceful now he’s given you permission. His hands wander as much as yours, he’s trying to commit every curve, every expanse of your skin to his drunken memory in the worry that this is some near-death-experience-induced hallucination.

But it’s still real when his hands sneak under your shirt, it’s still real when you take of his and start kissing across his chest. It’s still real when he strips you of your clothes and puts his mouth to your soaked core, it’s still real when you beg for more, your whimpers burned into his brain forever. It’s so so real when he enters you and when he feels you constrict around him until he’s releasing into the condom. You’re still real when you’re lying next to him in his tiny, messy dorm room, falling asleep curled into his side.

Unfortunately, it’s still real when he wakes up in the morning to your horrified expression. It’s real when both of you scramble out of bed, putting your clothes on backwards in the hurry and mumbling embarrassed ‘I’m sorry’s to each other. And it is all too real when you basically sprint out of his room only to send him a single text later that day, saying that, for the sake of your friendship, you’d be more than ready to just forget this ever happened.

#the boyz #jacob bae #jacob x reader #jacob bae x reader #the boyz jacob #the boyz jacob x reader #tb jacob x reader

18 notes · View notes

bonefall · 1 year

Note

One of the anons that’s rereading to TNP! Do you have any notes for Birchfall? He was the only TC kit that survived on the journey - do any other TC kits survive, and if not how does this affect his personality later on, or his relationship with the DF?

he’s my blorbo <3

[ID: BB!Birchfall, a stone-brown tabby with thin stripes and speckling. He has a face-plate marking, a stripe just below it, and amber eyes.]

People don't talk enough about how the cats don't seem to have lasting trauma about losing their home of a dozen generations; let alone that the first major events in Birchfall's life were the horrible deaths of almost his entire family.

Are his first memories the sound of his mother's tears? Or the roar of the chainsaws? Was he even large enough to take his own steps on the journey or was he carried into the unknown?

also he has big naturals.

Clanmew name: Pyachfewl (Downy Birch + Fell)

He is the only surviving ThunderClan kitten from the journey.

Hollykit and Larchkit died when he was really young, but he remembers Holly a little better.

Birch palled around with Spiderpaw during the Great Journey, as the apprentices bonded and made new foods and such. Like a little-brother-tag-a-long.

When he wasn't doing that, he became close with Tallpoppy's litter; Toadkit, Applekit, and Marshkit.

The Journey Generation is VERY strange. They had a formative part of their lives where the cats of all Clans needed to depend on each other; so politically they end up with some very unique opinions on cross-Clan friendships.

Toadkit dies in a snare, but Birch, Apple, and Marsh long for their old friendship.

Losing three siblings, his home, being forcefully separated from his friends, and then one of those friends dying horribly probably contributed to his Problems.

DOVEWING AND IVYPOOL are no longer his kits! He was Dovewing's beloved mentor!

In return, Spotfur and Duststripe (prev. sorrelstripe) are now his.

He has his dad Dustpelt's face-shield thing, and a couple of his mother's spots.

In terms of personality, Birch is playful but also kind of a hardass. Guy who will hoot and holler down a zipline but chew you out if you go down without a helmet.

Birchfall has PTSD. ANY human activity, like camping, hiking, or even just boating makes him very upset and can bring on anxiety and nightmares.

When he is stressed, this tends to come out as anger or protectiveness. He doesn't like being separated from his loved ones.

He was an anxious, overbearing father when Whitewing had Duststripe. They worked through it.

Whitewing is deaf! They speak through glyphs, lipreading, and they have a personal system of body language which, if polished, could be the basis for Clan signs.

But, they haven't quite had a chance to consider that... had Dovewing stayed longer, something might have come of it. A lost possibility.

He does remain close to his apprentice when she leaves though... he understands, more than most cats.

If Marshwing is still alive post-Great Battle, he often asks Dove to pass on news.

Stats: Patrol guy. Observant, good at gathering materials. Prefers operating in groups.

#BB!Birchfall #Better Bones AU #BB!TNP #BB!OoTS

123 notes · View notes

piastrinorris · 2 years

Text

busy streets and busy lives • ralph penbury x reader

A strange day at work gets even stranger when you meet a man who claims he's from 1926. With no certainty as to when he can get back, you decide to take him in until that time arrives.

masterlist | prev. | next

Tags: Timewasters (series), modern!au, slow burn, mutual pining, idiots in love™, fluff, some angst, swearing and mentions of adult themes throughout, eventual adult content, alcohol content, drug use, penbury is a fanon surname

Word count: 1.4k

A/N: This is just a bit of backstory, the real good stuff's coming very very very soon!

It wasn’t until Ralph stepped out of the car and was faced with his own front door that he suddenly regretted every action he’d taken to get back here.

It was one thing to finally find someone he felt he could start a life with in Lauren. It was another for her to remain distant even when he started trying to make his intentions known. It was another for her to not only refuse to accept or reject his proposal to his face, but to learn through listening in that neither her nor the rest of the quartet seemed to be very fond of him. It was another for him to feel as though the only solution was to join the war efforts, digging out his late father’s old uniform and setting off. It was another for him to absolutely hate it there; the physical effort, the mental toll, the treatment he received from his peers, he hated it all. It was another for him to sneak out in the dead of night and run off home.

And now, the final straw on the camel’s back. What is he even expecting out of returning? Everyone to just welcome him back with open arms? It’s not like anybody ever even wrote to him while he was abroad. And he’d left all his banking in Lauren’s name, could he really expect to ask for it back? Would she have spent it already? Was she the type? Ralph would hope not, but then he had also hoped she wouldn't turn down his proposal. Though, to be fair, he didn't give himself a lot of time to get to know her before he'd acted on his feelings. Such is life for a hopeless romantic.

Instead, he goes back to the car and asks the driver to take him into the town. Perhaps he’ll find inspiration to return to his family home while he’s there. Perhaps he’ll find something new to dedicate his life to. Perhaps he’ll get attacked by a street vagrant and that’ll solve all his problems for him. Ralph presses his forehead to the window as he watches his family home disappear from view once again.

As he’s walking the high street, Ralph notices a familiar building. The very few times he was allowed to go out with the quartet, the one called Nick had been very taken with it. He would often talk about it being a way for him to get home. Ralph wonders, if Nick and Lauren are siblings, and this is where Nick planned on getting home, could he help them? Could he still win Lauren's affections that way?

Ralph starts to enter the lobby when he sees the most peculiar man waiting for the lift. He certainly looks like the sort of riff-raff Ralph’s mother would tell him and his sister to steer well clear from. But something about his attire seems very out of sorts to Ralph. It’s rather akin to the clothes that the quartet were wearing when he and Victoria first met them. He’s wearing those peculiar blue trousers and spongy shoes - Ralph recalls Jason calling them “jeans” and “trainers” respectively.

Despite everything he’d been taught, Ralph still approaches the strange older man. He wonders whether clearing his throat would be enough of an indication or if the man would be hard of hearing and may need more physical engagement. Ralph would rather avoid touching him if it were possible, but this is about more than his comfort. This is about winning his place back in the family, as a part of the group, and maybe even in Lauren’s affections, too.

Opting to play it safe and cover all his bases, he clears his throat as he taps the man on the shoulder at the same time. The older man turns around and glares at Ralph, who tries his best to stay looking cheerful. “Hello!” he singsongs. “I don’t suppose you know where this lift may lead to?” Well,” he laughs lightly, “of course, it leads to upstairs, I’m not braindead, but is there a guide as to what is on which floor?”

The old man sneers as the lift doors open. Before Ralph can react any further, he's being grabbed by the underside of his arm and shoved into this cramped little box. "E-excuse you?!" Ralph sputters, but he's ignored as the old man shoves him against the back. Instead of pressing one button, as any normal human being would, this man starts pressing a number of them, some in succession and some simultaneously. Ralph finally plucks up the nerve to shout, "Sir, I demand an explanation for what is happening to me!"

The lift doors start to close, and the old man turns to grin toothlessly at Ralph, pointing upwards. Ralph looks up to see the strangest sight. The ceiling seems to be disintegrating, disappearing into a vacuum of sorts, except one that glows bright blue. Paralysed by the fear brought on by what Ralph is assuming is his timely demise, he squeezes his eyes shut and tries to think of anything pleasant to be his last memory.

But what? What makes him happy? His sister, far more liked than he? His Lauren, who he'd idealised so much in his head that he’d had to learn the hard way was never even his Lauren? Truly, a calm washes over Ralph, as he comes to terms with his true fate.

Then he hears the familiar ding of a bell. The sound of lift doors sliding open. Ralph opens one eye to see the strange man hobble away. "Ah - excuse me!" He calls after him, but to no avail.

This floor certainly looks nothing like the foyer to the building he'd just walked into. It's far less… Polished. Writing all over the walls, carpet pulled in in random spots, damp spots littering the walls and ceiling.

Ralph studies the keypad, totally unaware of what on earth the old man had pressed to get him here specifically, but he tries the button that says 0 anyway, just in case it still works like a normal lift would.

The doors close. Ralph looks up in fear, replaced with immediate confusion at the perfectly intact ceiling. No glowing blue portal of doom. Just a godawful clunking sound as the lift rattles and squeaks. Numbers flash all on their own, counting down until 0 when the door opens again to a far dingier hallway. A single fluorescent light flickers annoyingly over a floor with several tiles missing.

Ralph exits tentatively, eyes as wide as moons as he looks around. He makes it outside safely, but whatever outside is, it certainly isn't London. The roads are filled with machines that sort-of resemble the cars that Ralph knows, but in all different shapes and sizes and colours. It's noisier than the London Ralph knows and it smells far worse. Some buildings look similar to those that he knows and others most certainly don't.

He's interrupted by someone on a bicycle ringing a bell and yelling, "Move, dickhead!" Ralph can only stare in stunned shock as he watches the cyclist disappear. How rude! The dialect sounded familiar, though. Not unlike how Lauren and her friends would speak. Had Ralph found where they call home?

From the corner of his eye, Ralph spots the strange old man. Making haste, he tries his best to catch up. For someone who looks elderly, he certainly moves fast! He's so fixated on his task, he ends up bumping shoulders with several strangers, some who just give him strange looks and one who asks, "Alright, Jungle Jim?" Ralph isn't sure what makes them think he's from a jungle, or that his name would be something like Jim, but he doesn't have time to contemplate such things. Does nobody in this part of England recognise and respect the obvious presence of a man in an Army uniform?

Ralph once again loses sight of the man in a sea of people and comes to a total standstill, sighing in defeat.

He immediately regrets standing still in the middle of a path when someone directly collides with his back, followed by an uncomfortable wet sensation. "Watch it!"

next chapter

#ralph timewasters #ralph timewasters x reader #ralph timewasters x you #ralph timewasters fanfic #ralph timewasters imagine #ralph penbury #ralph penbury x reader #ralph penbury x you #ralph penbury fanfic #ralph penbury imagine #ralph timewasters fluff #ralph penbury fluff #bsbl #fic: bsbl #*myfics

191 notes · View notes

nomatterwhatnomatterwhere · 6 months

Text

What a ( Not so) Strange World X

So… I know I said I wouldn't be long, but hey…life happens I guess? I've had the chapter set at 1777 words for longer than I'm willing to admit, so let's briefly explain why I'm late: I'm a fucking dragon.

Okay, let's move on to the slightly longer version eh? I'm moving, so I've been messing around the house and realising I own more stuff than I thought I did or didn't even remember existed. Kind of like a hoardin dragon.

So, having some slightly more important priorities than publishing the chapters of various works, I kind of forgot that I actually had to publish those chapters.

I don't want to bore you with my misadventures, although I may need to complain to someone about it because, really, I could write a comedy series about it.

I apologise, again, for the delay, but I would also like to thank all the people who have started following the story in the last period. I was buried by notifications, and it was also thanks to this that I was able to complete the chapter.

So many thanks for your patience, ( if you have some left over can you lend it to me? I swear I will give it back to you. No? Anyone? Sigh)

Ohh right ! Before I forget, since you asked so nicely I couldn't help but accommodate you (sorry I didn't answer right away) so well, anyone who would like to be tagged please don't mind letting me know

@jessiegerl

Prev Next

"No kiddin! He collared me for eating one slice of tart! All his 'rule obsession' is outta control!"

It was true that 'Riddle' seemed a bit too rule-obsessed, but Ace wasn't really the best person to complain: if Riddle was rule-obsessed then Ace had no conception of what rules were - and probably broke them unknowingly for that very reason.

"Ace I don't thi-"

You were about to let Ace in on this too, but you interrupted yourself when you noticed both Cater and Trey stiffen slightly, realising that who was probably 'Riddle' had approached the table.

"My 'rule obsession' is 'outta control', is it?"

Yep. Definitely Riddle.

And Ace was talking bad about Riddle, to Riddle.

While he was talking you couldn't help but think how much he looked like a child; he was cute, he looked like a doll. When Ace had asked him to take off his collar, you had to restrain yourself from snorting: it was a definitely absurd request.

( seriously Ace, after breaking rules and bad-mouthing the Housewarden, did he really think Riddle would give him his magic back? Naive)

You knew that Riddle was absolutely serious while scolding Ace, but all you could see was a child playing at being an adult - little did it matter that Riddle was older than you - and he was absolutely adorable

( He had adorable little cheeks! You wanted to pinch them. But you were keen not to have any dog collars around your neck, thank you).

You agreed that 'tolerating rulebreakers' might have taken the campus down a path you didn't feel like going down, but you didn't think this was the worst habit the HeadMaster could have.

There was something wrong with that thing and you couldn't help but worry

( worrying about you, about Yuu's safety, about Yuu's survival, about Yuu in general… and even about the evil weasel, in part… and maybe the Problem Child ™ … maybe, you weren't sure Ace deserved to escape the destruction he was causing)

Regardless of what Ace thought of Riddle - to which you could now even attach a face, yay - you didn't think the HouseWarden's thinking was so wrong.

If there were rules, it was only right that they should be obeyed... after all, they existed for a valid reason - right? - and if those rules were broken, then it was only fair that those responsible were punished.

Moreover, at least in Ace's case, Riddle had also been respectful of his education, since his punishment did not affect his school results.

( And you actually rather agreed with Riddle: The problems that an Ace without magic could create were certainly less dangerous than those that an Ace with magic would have caused.

He would still have created problems...might as well limit the damage).

"Now as per rule 339"

" 'The post - meal beverage is to be lemon tea with two sugar cubes' I know, I just don't have a clue where to find the sugar... or tea to be honest, I haven't seen a kettle around, and my sense of direction would allow me to get lost even in an empty room."

You hadn't realised either that you had interrupted Riddle, or that you had said all this out loud, or that the table's attention was on you... you didn't think you had spoken so loudly, but at that moment you cared about your survival.

You apologised to Riddle, smiling rather embarrassedly at him, because really, you hadn't made a fool of yourself yet today.

To your surprise, the boy took it rather well: his eyes were slightly wide, but he hadn't shouted at you…

( Now Ace could have said that Riddle was playing favorites? The situation seemed that serious to you)

After announcing that he was going to get sugar, and saying goodbye to the others, he asked you if you wanted to follow him.

And of course you gave him an affirmative answer.

You were a little afraid to leave Yuu, but Cay and Trey wouldn't let anything bad happen. Although you hoped nothing would happen in general.

So slightly reassured by the thought that in case something happened Yuu would be safe, you got up to follow Riddle.

(You were fully unaware that as you walked away, the negative comments about Riddle were only just beginning.

You were, on the other hand, fully aware that someone was abusing sugar, if Riddle's gritted-tooth comment was anything to go by)

You and Riddle had walked in silence along the path leading from the table where you had lunch to the entrance of the Cafeteria, where on a well-decorated table, away from the buffet area, was everything you needed to prepare tea and other beverages.

( Maybe you could have made yourself some hot chocolate? It's been a long time since you've had some).

Riddle had been kind enough to boil water and brew tea, adding sugar to your cup for you.

"Do you follow all the rules to the letter?" you asked after thanking him for the tea, and were not surprised by his sign of assent.

"But all of them? Like for Rule 529 'If you eat steak on a night with a full moon, a cat must play the violin' does the cat get charmed into doing it? Or is it trained?"

He thought about it for a moment before answering

"It hasn't occurred to me to put this rule into practice yet, but I am convinced that there are both trained and enchanted cats"

"It's interesting how seriously you take these rules" the boy was about to reply but you continued "No offence, it's just that sometimes it's hard to follow them all perfectly, isn't it?"

( You didn't have to tell him that it had taken you quite a while for your sugar cubes to reach two. You weren't particularly fond of sweets as a child.

And that had earned you a few feeding lessons from Queenie who had taken your low sugar levels to heart.

Although your eardrums were still suffering from it, those were the first loving cries you had been given).

"With a little bit of effort you can succeed at anything if you want to" he was looking at the table where your group was.

"Ace isn't bad" he looked at you in profile as you continued " At least, I don't think so, it's just… that he doesn't think enough before he speaks, I don't think he wanted to wrong you"

It was true. You didn't think Ace was bad…just tremendously insensitive and stubborn.

(And maybe a little stupid.)

"To me, however, he doesn't seem to understand what the problem is," and you nodded knowingly.

"I don't think he understands the point of those rules . Or the rules in general, for that matter." and here you saw Riddle smile slightly.

"I'm not going to take his collar off just because someone intercedes for him."

"And that wasn't my intent anyway. But if he returned a tart and apologised, he should be allowed back in the dormitory, right?"

You honestly knew Ace would cause more trouble, but as long as he caused it out of your sight - and possibly away from Yuu - it was fine.

What was not fine at all was the thought of Ace staying in Ramshackle Dorm.

One night had been enough, and you didn't want to leave Yuu at the mercy of two and a half Problem Children™.

"Those tarts had been prepared by Trey for the upcoming Unbirthday Party being held at Heartslabyul, but I guess it can still go well."

Riddle had noticed how your eyes had lit up at the mention of the Unbirthday Party: you looked like a child who was ashamed to ask his parents for a toy.

And indeed it wasn't too far from reality.

You knew all the rules of the Queen of Hearts, but you'd never had the chance to attend a real Unbirthday Party, but you could sense that they were an important celebration, at least for anyone who was part of Heartslabyul, and you would have liked to attend, but to invite yourself was rude, no matter what world you were in.

However…

"Um..so if, um, we showed up to this Unbirthday Party, obviously dressed formally, and with this tart…could we strangers attend as well?"

Riddle peered at you for a few moments.

You seemed to know and apply the rules as much as he did, you had been polite in your manners and your eyes were shining for him to actually say no to you.

( And besides, there was no rule forbidding people from attending Unbirthday Parties, otherwise Che'nya would have been 'off with his head' more times than was humanly possible )

"As long as the rules are adhered to, there should be no problem."

You had greeted him all smiling after thanking him, bouncing away.

You were a ball of brightness. You weren't bad to be around.

You, on the other hand, thought your group of friends - could they even be called that? - were trying to get rid of you, as the table where you had lunch was totally empty.

Rude. Very rude.

Rook hadn't helped either. At your look of "you've got something to say abou it?" he had merely shrugged.

You didn't believe him for half a minute.

( You were right not to believe him. Rook knew perfectly well what was going on, but it would have been fun to see how you would have behaved)

It was only thanks to two Beastmen who were complaining - one of them - about an interrupted nap and someone who smelled "not - magic - at- all" that you realised which direction to go in

(even though it didn't reassure you at all).

Why were they in the Botanical Garden, of grace?

(On thinking about it, it made sense that they were going to retrieve the tools to collect chestnuts from there, but you didn't know that the bunch of idiots - Yuu excluded - had decided to make a Chestnut tart)

Which by the way, how did they think you were going to reach them - because it was obvious you were going to reach them - without knowing where they were going? With magic?

(Well, maybe so, but you didn't know how to cast such precise location spells yet).

You found them heading for the kitchens with several baskets of chestnuts - they'd made you wander the campus for nothing then - and filled you in on their intentions.

Honestly speaking, making chestnut tarts for an Unbirthday party didn't really seem like the best idea, but it had been Trey's idea and you doubted Trey had really wanted to get his freshmen into even more trouble than they already were.

Besides, if Riddle himself had requested such a tart, there shouldn't have been a problem, right?

(Although this did raise a few questions - which you kept sweeping under the carpet - such as, 'if Riddle is so bound by the Queen of Hearts' rules, how come he agreed to this crazy idea? )

After the chestnuts had finally been shelled and the two freshmen from Heartslabyul had been made fun of, you realised - Trey realised - that it was time to go to the school store to get some more cream, and while you were at it Trey asked Deuce to pick up a few more things.

You quickly pulled back: you had already walked enough around campus, this time you were going to pass.

After Yuu, Deuce and Grim came out you could "admire" Ace falling asleep on the table - with even a little bit of drool, how horrible.

"And he complained about our Dormitory, he can really sleep anywhere," you said looking towards Trey, who had a slight smile on his face as he approached you, leaning against the counter you had vacated.

"Thanks again for looking after him"

"It wasn't like we had a choice anyway. He did it all by himself. When he comes back to your dorm it will be terrible for you," you said, shaking your head.

There was a moment of awkward silence, or at least, that was what you perceived and you felt like you had to do something.

"When you make the muffins could you let me know? I'd like to help out."

And of course that something had to be awkward, damn you

Trey merely nodded.

You were about to open your mouth again when he anticipated you 'I didn't think I'd see you again. Certainly not under these circumstances," he chuckled.

"Well, um, I don't think anyone expected to see me again under these circumstances."

So you told him a very short version of your little trip from the RSA to the NRA, ignoring how he tried not to laugh openly, as Che'nya had.

You just couldn't help it. Trey had become even more handsome over the years, it was almost unfair.

Surely he had a girlfriend or something. That was even more unfair.

Your teenage self couldn't realise she had a crush on him when you had a chance!

You must not have been very subtle as you looked at him because, without missing a beat, he asked in the quietest tone in the world.

"You seem to be looking at something you like?"

Your shout - it wasn't a shout, it was an embarrassed and indignant babbling nonsense - had managed to wake Ace - who for once wasn't at fault - just minutes before Yuu, Deuce and Grim returned.

Deuce didn't look too good, but at that moment you didn't really care.

Your only thought at that moment was where you could dig yourself a hole to bury yourself from embarrassment.

(You were so engrossed in your thoughts that you didn't even notice how red the tip of Trey's ears were when he asked you that question, nor how from that moment on he would not only continue to glance at you, but also to make eye contact with you.

Which failed miserably because you didn't look up from the ground for another second.

In spite of everything, however, he was happy to still have the same effect on you. They were satisfactions).

Omake

While you were following Riddle around the Cafeteria, you didn't notice what was going on around you.

But Riddle did.

And he hoped you didn't ask him why he had suddenly changed direction.

But just as you wanted to survive Ace, Riddle wanted to survive Floyd Leech.

Riddle knew it was him. He had a sixth sense for when the merman was around.

And in Riddle's opinion it was never good to be near the Octavinelle trio

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #reader insert #twst x reader #disney #ace trappola #cater diamond #twst deuce #deuce spade #trey clover #trey x reader #riddle rosehearts #twst grim #yuu twisted wonderland

16 notes · View notes

burningchandelier · 1 year

Text

Tropes Game

Rules

How much do these tropes affect your decision to click on a fic?

-10 -> very dissuaded

0 -> don’t care either way

10 -> very enticed

nope -> if it’s a hard no and you’d never click on a fic with that tag or or you even have the tag blocked or you’d insta click out of the fic if it wasn’t tagged.

Bonus points for explaining the rating and whether it’s conditional.

(To be honest I disregarded the rating system. I rated these 0-10 with 0 being not interested and 10 being my favorite)

Trope List

Age gap: 4/10 Age gap isn't really my thing and I am not likely to go out of my way to seek it out, but if it serves the purpose of the plot and creates an interesting dynamic, then I can be all about it.

Codependency 10/10 I am SO ABOUT this. Give me those (fictional) unhealthy relationships for daaaays.

Enemies to lovers 9/10 Absolutely, absolutely. This can be so good. I do find that this trope can be employed as a substitute for character development, and that can be disappointing. When applied in the context of a larger story I do enjoy this a lot.

Enemies with benefits 10/10 Now, THIS works for me basically all the time.

Fake dating/relationship 3/10 Eh, it's mid. I could enjoy this and have. It fully depends on how it is executed and the context of the story. Is there enough emotional investment to make the story and characters interesting? Do I care about the characters ultimately getting together? Are the stakes worth the fake relationship in the first place? It has to be worth it.

Found family 4/10 I am not a fan of the way this trope has evolved. Are we talking about "found family" in the way that Buffy's friends became a family? Are we talking about the Intrepid Heroes from Dimension 20? then HELL YES! I am so interested. If we are talking about what happens much more often (imho) where the characters get assigned certain roles and end up recreating the nuclear family, crammed into uncomfortable boxes??? HELL NO.

Friends to lovers 8/10 Why not?

Friends with benefits 8/10 Sure!

Hurt/comfort 10/10 What more can you ask for? It is essential story structure. Establish a character > Give the character a problem > Take care of the problem I love it every time.

Love triangle 1/10 Very, very little interest here. What I DO find interesting is how authors can subvert this trope or approach it in unexpected ways.

Mistaken/hidden identity 10/10 "Sign me the fuck up. Identity porn is almost as good as actual porn." Prev, you are so right.

Monster fu… relationship 10/10 (100/10) I am WEAK. I am not into tentacles, but I am deeply into the unsettling, disconcerting love of the unseen and little-understood. I want characters to fall in love with ugly, frightening reflections of themselves. I want them to find beauty there. The revelation that humanity is the monster after all? Too good. And, yeah, sometimes your fave gets railed by something unearthly or from the underworld and that's rad as fuck.

Obsession, possessiveness, etc 10/10 Unhealthy relationships my beloved (see codependency)

Opposites (like grumpy×sunshine, etc) 7/10 It can be fine. This cannot be the only point of a story, though.

Poly 9/10 YES! Be creative with characters and relationships! Depict healthy poly relationships! Show communication! No unnecessary pining (some is great, but not ton). Let those characters have their cake and eat it too.

pregnancy nope/10 It's not my thing. I am viscerally uncomfortable with this one.

Second chance 5/10 I need more to go on.

Sex to feelings 8/10 This can be great, but there has to be more to it than just "we boned and now I'm in love."

Slowburn 10/10 YES YES YES YES YES Give me 100K+ words to set it up and I am there. I love the hell out of incredibly slow, slice of life stories that revel in and treasure the beauty of the mundane.

Soulmates 3/10 I like the idea, but have rarely enjoyed the actual fics.

Another case of either 10/10 or -10/10 10/10 Weird, fucked up, sometimes off-putting stories that make you question the boundaries of genre, free from the confines of the publishing industry, television networks, streaming services,and record lables? That's the whole fucking point.

Tagging (no pressure) @static-starfish, @telegraphavekiss, @fleacollar999 @100percent-unimpressed, @shitpunsforshitnuns, @bootlegfrnk, @jurassicpark45, @biganimal92

#fanfiction tropes #fanfic writing #fanfiction #tumblr survey

3 notes · View notes

shreddheir · 2 years

Text

I posted 12,854 times in 2022

That's 12,577 more posts than 2021!

668 posts created (5%)

12,186 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@fullmusicbard

@finnthewitch

@fakeorchestra

@surpriserose

@outpost-31

I tagged 3,523 of my posts in 2022

#terunosuke miyamoto - 91 posts

#kt lore - 62 posts

#jjba - 55 posts

#fave - 51 posts

#angelica tag - 48 posts

#jjba oc - 42 posts

#kt tag - 41 posts

#you know - 40 posts

#me - 38 posts

#prev - 36 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#(ppl acting fake offended over something innocuous where you know they’re teasing you but it’s ambiguous enough that you can’t explain it to

My Top Posts in 2022:

i love robots but i hate how they will be used.

Robotic “dogs” that will gun you down without the capacity for compassion. Or drones that will kill countless innocent people with the click of some far away mans controller. Or artificial, beautiful, slim women gliding around the homes of lonely rich men with submission only a machine can guarantee. Or online algorithms trawling through conversations to predict what you want to buy and when you want it.

If god created man in his image what does it say about us? that when given a chance to make something of our own we only use it for sex or war or consumerism or the most streamlined, soulless imitations of those 3? Is that our image?

I love robots that are built to live with us, not for us.

188 notes - Posted July 21, 2022

Saiki kusuo has autism.

Reasons: not facially expressive, doesn’t communicate verbally, gets overwhelmed in public or around a lot of people, wears gloves everywhere to prevent (psychic) overstimulation, doesn’t really get the people around him despite being able to read their thoughts, goes to great lengths to try and appear normal,

198 notes - Posted July 4, 2022

Did anyone else know that the actual cannibal Shia labeouf song Was made by one of the singers of TALLY FUCKING HALL??????

232 notes - Posted March 5, 2022

It’s Thursday

293 notes - Posted March 31, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Josuke Higashikata has anger issues and we should talk about that in a non-memey way.

We’ve all seen the memes. Josuke gets really pissed if you talk shit about his hair. But it’s a bit deeper than just irrational hairstyle rage. In this essay I will dissect an aspect of Josuke’s character that, despite being often talked about, is never truly discussed. His anger.

This image is a good starting point, especially the section on how others see Josuke. It tells us 3 very important things. 1. His mother doesn’t see his anger issues as a problem, despite how destructive they can end up being. This is likely because she has some of her own, as shown when she slams a catcaller’s face into his car door hard enough to dent it. 2: His stand’s ability is affected by whether or not he’s angry. If he’s angry, crazy diamond isn’t the kind power it usually is at all. 3: Josuke is disliked by his peers. Those bullies aren’t an exception, they’re the norm. In fact, the only person who has an overall positive opinion on josuke at this point in the series is his close family, and even his grandfather recognizes that his anger is destructive. Josuke has a cool exterior, but that’s partially a facade. It’s important to recognize that Josuke has been ostracized his ENTIRE LIFE. For context, illegitimate children and single mothers was/are VERY stigmatized in japan.

See the full post

354 notes - Posted June 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #Great job guys!

2 notes · View notes

rinstars · 3 years

Text

「 CRY FOR ME 」 ♡ ACT XI : AFTERGLOW

PAIRING : Suna Rintarō x Reader.

GENRE : Angst.

TAGS/WARNINGS : NSFW. Fake Dating. Unrequited Love. Profanity. Enemies (not really) to Lovers. Friends with Benefits. Not very canon compliant.

SYNOPSIS : You have been in love with your best friend Sakusa Kiyoomi for as long as you can remember. The problem? He is in love with somebody else. And for you to snag even the tiniest bit of his affections, it seems like you would willingly go through drastic measures.. Even if it means teaming up with his lifelong rival, Suna Rintarō

PLEASE LOOK AT THIS NOTE PLEASEEE PLEASE PLEASE IM NOT EVEN KIDDING PLEASE : This is NOT the last act yet!!!! There's still ACT XII then the epilogue. Calm down u guys. Sorry this took me like 10 billion years to finish but in return I gave this act my all. Dont give me the "___ is OOC" BS please. I believe hes someone who wouldn't say some of the things I put in this act but definitely would want to if hes given another medium. Overall, I think hes a very emotional person with ppl he loves. I am really proud of this act u guys. Hope u enjoy it hehhe

SONGS TO LISTEN TO : Cry by Cigarettes After Sex, All I Ask by Adele, Off My Face by Justin Bieber, Afterglow by Taylor Swift

TAGLIST : CLOSED

prev ♡ series masterlist ♡ next

There wasn't much to say as you sit in the passenger seat of your best friend's car as he drives you home from the trip that cost both of your hearts.

You fell in love with your best friend, went on a fake date to make him jealous, fell in love with that fake boyfriend, and got your heart broken.

Spectacular.

Just simply the best trip anyone could ever ask for.

Sakusa glances at you every five seconds and you feel bad that he even does. If anything, what he and Yura had was far more genuine than what yours and Rin's could ever be and yet, he's still the one looking after you like he wasn't six feet below the ground from the crushing revelations his girlfriend had for him when she said she has always liked Rintarō.

If someone so beautiful, amazing, and perfect like Sakusa could get their hearts broken—betrayed and left in the air by the person they treasured, you imagine that leaves someone like you with a heart in the gutter. And it's unfair. While no one ever said the lane to falling in love was easy and you were once a determined witness when you fell the first time, it didn't prepare you for the second time around. It didn't even serve to ease the pain—that maybe this heartache was just like the last one and the next one would be better. Rather, this was a painful reminder you couldn't be allowed to be happy. Not then, not now. It was an unfair realization.

More so, you weren’t a Sakusa Kiyoomi. You didn’t have men lined up in the doors to the locker room because everybody wanted a glimpse of the top Olympic athlete, even if it was in your sweaty, sticky form. You didn’t have that money. You were always a step too far from the kind of life Sakusa lived. No bachelor would ask for you because the only ones lining up your doorstep were those who smell of nicotine and party drugs. The ones who are too drunk to remember your face as much as you're drunk to even remember what you'd allowed to happen the night before.

You think this must be the one and only time Sakusa would ever get his heart broken. He's far too perfect. Too many options he could choose from. You? You were lucky to snag his attention as a best friend and get a little of Rintarō even if it was just for the shortest time meant to get the attention of another.

"Are you alright?" He rubs the pads of his thumb against your knuckles, soft and gentle voice you barely hear from Omi whispering against the confinement of his car.

He knows this question is futile. Nothing but words to fill the silence neither of you knows how to fix. He says it over and over for the sake of making both of you believe it was alright—that your heads didn't repeat it to you over and over about the fact that both of your lovers are left in the cabin doing God knows what.

"Yes, Omi. All great," you tell him monotonously and almost feel bad. He didn't deserve to be on the bitter end of your heartbreak but you also knew if anyone would understand your shift in mood, it would be him.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Everything fine?

Sure, YN.

It's nothing but a cycle. A repeated throw of words that mean and weigh nothing to either of you. It's nothing but a bandaid to the wounds that wouldn't stop seeping through the thin gauze yet both of you are foolish enough to believe that it takes your mind off the pain—even if just for a minute, a second.

It was almost pathetic—your state, at least. Everything Omi is going through, you can understand clearly. There wasn't anything comical or even pitiful about his state. What he feels isn't pathetic. That was the love of his life. The only one he ever imagined, probably. You don't remember anyone who came before Yura and when they got together, the click and chemistry were instantaneous. It wasn’t easy to swerve away from conversations, of both friends and family, about how they'd probably end up together—married and with a small family. Two children of Japan's biggest tycoons, the heirs they'd make just as beautiful as them. It was difficult to even force yourself to believe they weren't made for each other then no matter how much it gnawed at your heart.

The turn of things right now for him is anything but similar to your comically pathetic and pitiful state.

Yours is a different story. You could laugh at yourself if you were nothing but a mere bystander watching everything unfold. You hurt and you blame yourself for it because that's the reality, isn't it? A girl who couldn't get a snag of her best friend's affections gets in a fake relationship with his nemesis to steal off his girl and get her best friend to herself gets what she wants but only when she already couldn't give a damn about having her best friend because she's already fallen for her fake boyfriend.

What did they say about getting a taste of your own medicine again?

Yura turned the tables on you. She played her cards so effortlessly and easily until you didn’t realize she was the one breaking all of you up. You didn’t think it was possible, not for a second, that she would do something so out of character—at least from how you knew her. But then, the whole plan about breaking Omi and Yura up wasn't your character either. Not to mention, you never really knew who Yura really was. She was just.. that girl to you. Beautiful, smart, rich, everybody's dream girl, prom queen, homecoming sweetheart—everything you could think of. The fact that Omi liked her was another testament that she might be a good person.

The scene just a few hours before you strapped yourself inside Sakusa's car is still very clear. Very vibrant. Very telling of the truths you wanted to tune out so bad. It was all the things you feared.

What more, she isn't the person you thought she was at all. And still, you didn't feel like you could blame her for it. She's very harsh with her truths. Incredible straightforwardness and confident jabs at your already breaking heart as she wraps a finger around your wrist to turn you around on the way to the front. Being with Yura had always put an undeniable stain on your pride. She always felt like someone out of reach—and maybe she really was. She had everyone you've ever wanted after all.

Sitting in the backyard for a moment to calm down seemed like a good idea when you stormed outside the room you shared with your fake ex-boyfriend. However, it was easy to realize that it wasn't. Not when a thin frame is walking gracefully towards you so noticeably. You knew she was there for you the moment you caught sight of her hair—to apologize or say something else, you weren’t sure. But you did know then that you didn’t want to have the conversation she'd asked you to have. You're too out of it, too shaky and too miserable for anything that has to do with her and Suna.

However, it was something inevitable.

You couldn’t escape her. Not with the way she said the first few words to attempt a conversation—no, a confrontation.

"I'm not sorry," her soft voice reached you, firm but gentle the way you've always remembered it to be.

The way she said it immediately pulls the break on your feet, swallowing thickly as you feel her grip on your wrist loosen. She knows you wouldn't run away. Not with what she just said. Not when you both know this is the only time this conversation is gonna happen and that if you don't push through it now, you'll never settle the tension that hangs in the air around you.

"It's what Suna would have wanted. We both know that," there was a tone in her voice you couldn't pinpoint. Pity?

"Excuse me?" you spin around, eyes meeting her hazel ones as she stares back at you hardly. There's a gleam in her eyes. You weren't sure when it stopped looking innocent for you but now all you can see is the hostility behind them.

"I'm sorry I hurt Kiyoomi, YN. I promise. I loved him, we had a great relationship," her eyes flash with remembrance. "But I'm not sorry I chose Rin or that I kissed him. I loved him more, I've always known that but I thought I was over him until you two were together."

You look back at her with indifference, inwardly wincing at what she's saying. Where she found the courage to talk about this with you, you're not sure. Why would someone run after someone's ex-girlfriend to tell her something like this? Sure, you and him were a fraud. But everyone believed it was real. Hell, you believed it was real for a good while. It was a genuine relationship to everyone who looked, everyone who watched. You liked to believe you put on an amazing act as someone with real beating feelings and if there was one thing you didn't need right now, it's to hear her say these things—or even talk about Rintarō.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you’re his ex and other than Kiyoomi you’re the only one stuck in between this whole mess we made. YN, I hope you know—"

"No, Yura. Why are you talking like that?" The infuriating itch catches up to you, running your fingers on your hair to push it back. This whole mess they made? She's speaking like this was always meant to happen and you and Omi were nothing but chess pieces mistakenly pushed to the side once everything is set for her win. However, you knew there's no way Suna was involved in how it all turned out because the whole purpose of both of you getting together was to snatch her back. So why was Yura acting like she expected this?

"Like what?" she asks almost innocently. The look on her face makes your fingers twitch. This was the woman who hurt your best friend, kissed, and took your boyfriend from you. You could only spend another second in her presence without snapping.

"Like I needed to hear this from you," you frowned back at her, brows drawing together. "What happens with his and my relationship are ours. Don't get in between it. You don't have to explain anything to me, Yura." you tell her slowly, internally wishing the conversation ends right there.

You notice the way she slightly steps back in mild shock as a response before regaining her composure and releasing a breathy laugh—almost as if in disbelief.

In return, you couldn't help but stand perplexed. When has Yura started being like this? She was always the last person you would've expected this from—at least from what you knew of her. It's a revelation seeing her even speak in this tone—albeit it's still a lot softer and kinder than you'd probably hear from anyone else in a confrontation.

Still, was it really that far-fetched? Or were you just blinded by whatever image Yura had painted in your head? It shouldn't be a shock at this point. She kissed Suna behind both your and Sakusa's backs. If you thought about it months ago, you never would've even guessed it was a possibility but now you're in the very face of the aftermath of that very kiss. Really, you could only know so much about a person. To begin with, you didn’t really know Yura very well at all.

You wanted to understand where this is coming from. Why her breaths get shallow by the second, why her lips were red and trembling as she takes you in. However, none of it makes sense to you. Trying to believe she was just another victim in this vicious turn of events is hard to swallow as you keep remembering the fact that it all began with her. Besides, what else could she ask for? Is there anything else you had that she didn't?

You recognized flaws. You recognized how easy it is to be swayed by emotions. Perhaps, if you weren’t on the painful end of this ordeal, you would've understood Yura wholeheartedly. But now, all you feel is disdain at her audacity to act like this in front of you. You couldn't find the humanity in you to feel bad about any possible thing that must have caused her to act this way—if there was any to begin with.

"I'm saying this because I don't need you getting in the way of us again, YN. I really can't take another time," she throws her head back lightly, snapping you back to the reality that this is really happening and not just an evil figment of your imagination finding someone else to blame and direct the hurt on. Fingers clenching on her sides like she's holding back from something—the restraint in her doing its very best at work, you take in the slight weight that's added on her voice.

"I don't believe I got in the way of anything at all, Yura," you shake your head intently. Determined to stop holding yourself back as you had nothing and no one else left to protect.

"You always get in the way of the things I want!" she cries in frustration, eyes blazing as it shines over. "Kiyoomi, Rin, everything. Everyone wants you. And I've had to always be the second choice."

A sensation bubbles in your chest. Heavy and thick as it slowly develops into a laugh that soon starts stealing your air and turning into a choke. The sting in your eyes as the wind blows into your face registers before you realize the fact that you're starting to cry. Biting your lip as hard as you can, you swallow the lump that painfully throbs in your throat.

"The things you want?" you manage to cough out, an exhale escaping your lips slowly as you feel the tingles spread on your arms. And it wasn't that you needed the answer, but it seems like Yura was determined to enlighten you anyways—every word out her lips making your head light.

"Do you know how hard I had to fight to even get Kiyoomi's attention? That party we were in, God, that stupid party," she laughs humorlessly. "It would've been damn near impossible if I didn't get you out of the way!" Her arms flail around her, frustration clear as she recalls the events in her head. When her head snaps back forward to look at you, she's all red-rimmed eyes—whether that's of anger or sadness, you couldn’t tell. Probably a mix of both.

And you knew exactly what she was talking about. That party. The first one you attended in Sakusa's world because he never bothered to before but needed the sponsorship for his Olympics then, leaving him no choice—and that's why he'd brought you with him. As if to ease the discomfort of being among obnoxious rich people with more sense than money. It was at that party he first met Yura. And it was a little after that that they'd begun dating. You didn’t even know how they'd met.

After all, how could you? How would it be possible when you were locked alone in a fancy granite balcony in the presence of cold winter air without your coat because someone thought it'd be funny to keep you out?

It wasn’t a traumatic event, far from it. Even if Sakusa found you an hour later breaking into sneezes every five seconds, you tried not to take the whole thing to heart. Although it was true that it steered you away from parties with people like them ever again, it wasn't like it left a deep scar in your heart. It was just what it is. An unfortunate thing but you didn’t allow yourself to keep dwelling on it. If anything, you believed it wasn't even intentional. Maybe they didn't see you were out and thought the air blowing in the room was too cold and they needed to close the doors to keep it warm. Maybe it was just an accident.

But now it all feels like it's clicked into place. Like everything suddenly made sense and you're seeing the full picture. By then, you couldn't help the helpless pang of pity that hits you. How she could think and act like this after taking everyone you've ever wanted was something you didn’t understand. And you only felt pity for yourself—even more than you did before. You didn’t want to wallow in self-despair but it seems to be the only thing following you.

Shaking your head, you meet Yura's eyes—blinking faster and faster as the wetness threatens to spill over your stinging eyes. "You got both of the men I've ever loved, Yura. I didn't get either of them."

Almost as if your words did something to her, Yura's eyes cleared up—the fog in them dissipating as she looked at you in understanding. "If you know that, then stop getting in between. Let us be, YN. Let's end whatever cycle we've put ourselves in."

There's an eerie sense of calm in the way she said that. You don't like it. "I don't know what you're talking about but if it helps, Rin didn't talk about you for a second when we were together. So do yourself a favor, Yura. Stop telling me these things because they don't matter to me."

The lie is bitter in your mouth because it does matter to you. What she thought of you then, what she thinks of you now. But at the same time, the truth is also sweet. The fact that Yura was never a part of your conversations with Rin save for the first few days you both began seeing each other makes you feel slightly better.

It wasn’t what Yura wanted to hear. Obviously so as she bites back, "And he hesitated to pull away when we kissed but you knew that, right? Because you saw us. You saw me kiss him and how he couldn't pull me away if not for your presence and his guilt nagging at him. So if it helps, YN, even if just for a little, remember that the next time you start thinking your place in his life ever compared to my place in his."

Now that puts you to a stop. Like your whole world crashes and the remnants of your already breaking heart start turning to ashes. The last of all hope is lost on you as reality rubs itself on your very face.

She's right. You saw it all clearly. But to hear her confirm it, the truth of Rin's hesitations and how he probably longed for her as much as she longed for him—you felt like you couldn't breathe. And it's probably a weak move, the one you did next, but you couldn't care less as you storm out of the backyard, going around the house to the front as you catch your breath—tears spilling all over your cheeks the moment Yura is out of your line of vision.

It was when you're rounding the house you start feeling like everything is suddenly moving in slow motion. It had been too late for you to hide your tear-stricken face on the figure you caught in the corner of your eyes and by the time you could react, the sound of the front door throwing open has already reached your ears and Rintarō is running through it.

You couldn't even stand to see his face right now. His angled jaw and straight nose are nothing but a reminder of what you and him weren't anymore. Of course. Of course, he didn't feel that way towards you. There was no way he would long for you when he'd been longing for someone else for the longer part of his life. There was no way his heart would hurt at the mere thought of what you had coming to an end. How could he when he didn't love you? When whatever he probably felt for you then was all gone the moment he's in front of Yura again?

But still, he's calling your name. Shouting it like he didn't let you go just an hour ago from the bedroom you're both supposed to share. His shoes make a loud sound as he puts his weight into running—the pavement beating as he tries to catch up with you. Near the cabin, just a little around the corner to the right, you see Omi opening his car door—catching your eye before signaling a nod that says he'll be waiting for you inside.

Far out of the house, you give up on trying to hide your emotions any further. Taking a deep breath, you stop from your running just as a familiar set of slender and calloused fingers wraps itself around your wrist. As soon as it registers, however, you're pulling his arm away from him—turning around immediately to try and put the best version of a glare you can put out right now.

"Where are you going?" he breathes out just as the warmth of your fingers slips from his cold ones.

He sounded frantic. Like this is the first time he's absorbing the real meaning of things now that it's ended this way. His voice is pitched slightly higher while the fingers that were once around your skin rake across his deep brown hair—all messy, much messy, than the last time you've seen him. Your eyes look over his shoulder, his reflexes acting faster than his mind as he takes a step to block your vision—lightly shaking his head pleadingly.

"I thought we talked about this," there wasn't any energy in your voice. You're exasperated, shoulders slumping as you settle to look at his foot rather than his face.

"We haven't talked about anything!" the sudden volume in his voice makes you wince. You didn’t want to think about the desperation pouring from his pores. Didn't want to spend even another minute thinking he cared about you like you wanted him to.

He's probably riddled with guilt that he's getting her and you don't have anyone. That's possibly the only reason why he's acting like this.

"I want to end this, Suna, please," you exhale and speak with as much firmness as you can, refusing to let the shivers break you even as goosebumps rise on the surface of your skin. "You don't understand. I just—please, I want to go home with Omi right now. Let's stop doing this."

With that, Rin takes a step back. Like you just smacked him and he's in the middle of recovering from a blow he didn't see coming. It was then you decide to meet his eyes, the frown in his features evident with the tight clench of his jaw. You couldn't tell if he was even still breathing, but you used that as an opportunity to escape—brushing your shoulders with his and hearing him exhale shakily in return.

The decision killed you. It felt like a knife was being twisted inside your chest and the blood was uncomfortably seeping through your clothes. There was nothing to smile about. Nothing for you to feel good at. Every step away from him felt like goodbye. Every air you breathe without the swift scent of his cologne felt like oxygen was being cut from you.

Despite all that, what you'll probably never know is the fact that it kills Suna ten times over. To see you walk away from his life for what feels like the tenth time. That the blood he feels as if it's staining his shirt is creating a puddle that threatens to drown him from his feet.

What's worse? He lets you.

◇

It was a normal day at best. Seeing as it has only been a week since you and Omi drove away from the cabin, it's a miracle you're even out of your house. You don't have it in you yet to be sociable and mingle with others—especially not when your only friends are the ones you share with him and you're almost 100% certain they definitely knew at least the gist of what happened, you have close to no one left. If it wasn't for Omi, you'd practically be alone and wallowing in your despair.

That's when you realize you don't really have anyone else that's close to you. Not even something like a hobby to take your mind off of things. Not a single sport you're good at. You're smart, you make a great amount of money from working in an Engineering company as one of the group leaders but it's hardly something you could call yourself passionate about.

Sakusa is different. He seems to be taking everything way easier than you. You don't understand if he's just putting on a front or he's just accepted it within himself that whatever he had with Yura was over. He has his cousin Komori, at least. And he has volleyball to keep himself occupied. If there was only one thing he loved more than he loved her, it was volleyball. You didn’t have anything like that.

You could've complained but you really couldn't find it in you to ask for anything else. At the very least, you weren’t groveling as much as you used to and you had Omi with you.

The only thing not normal about this day is your lunch appointment with one of Suna's closest friends—who, as time went by, happened to also become one of yours in the few moments you've been in each other's company. He'd insisted on meeting. Said he hasn't seen you since that day you left earlier than everyone else with Omi. He hadn't mentioned if Yura and Suna stayed and went home with them. If she rode in his car because she didn't bring her own seeing as she came with Omi. He didn't tell you how Suna acted since that time you told him you wanted to end it and looked like you'd struck a painful cord inside him.

That was for the best, you figure.

You weren’t trying to find out they'd slept together the last night in that cabin and spread each other's scent on either yours or Omi's sheets. But maybe seeing Osamu would bring you the closure you needed. That trip ended so abruptly for you and you regretted not having the chance to say goodbye to your friends. It's been a week now. You're ready to face the memories of that day. It helps a lot that Osamu wouldn't put you in a tough situation or press you about the topic.

"Hey," you mumble quietly with a smile which he returned, standing up from his seat to hug you sideways. He's already in his seat by the time you've arrived.

Shaking the snow from your hair, you look at the seat he's chosen and suddenly feel a rush of gratefulness that you had the glass walls to distract you from the awkwardness of how everything felt. It wasn’t Osamu making it awkward. It was you, if anything. You felt ashamed at everything that happened and dragged them into.

"Should we order?" There's a softness and edge to Osamu's voice at the same time. He's kind but confident. If being friends with Suna was anything to go by, you're pretty confident he's a lot more of a smug playboy than he plays it out to be with his close acquaintances. Not that you minded. The Osamu in the streets didn't concern you like the Osamu with his friends. At the very least, he's a lot less loud than his blond twin.

Shrugging, you meet his eyes with a quick, "Yes."

He insisted on ordering for both of you, standing up to the counter and returning with a plate of pasta and garlic bread. You didn’t fight him on doing it. He'd been the one to invite you anyways. The appetite and energy couldn't be found in you despite your wishes. It was probably dramatic but Suna played a bigger part in you than you'd care to admit. A week is hardly enough to put an end to the pain that kept you up at night.

You stab your pasta mindlessly, chewing on the garlic bread occasionally to appear like you're enjoying the meal. You didn’t know why you're even here to begin with. There's a question hanging in the air you wished he would just get over with.

Osamu eyes you toying with a ring on your finger. It wasn’t anything significant. Just an accessory that seemed to click something in Samu's mind—seeing as he suddenly decided to speak.

"His ring was a present from Yura," he began slowly, and just like that, the breath was slowly getting knocked from you. "She got it in an arcade when they were together and made him promise not to take it off. One time, years ago, Suna was drunk out of his mind and snapped when a girl tried to slip it off his fingers and play with it while sitting on his lap."

The shake of his head tells you he didn't exactly agree with the ring—or perhaps the sentiments behind it but you don't say anything. You didn’t know why you had to hear this. Everything you learned about Suna and Yura was just another nail to your coffin. At the same time, you don't stop Osamu. You didn’t want to. Their history has always been a mystery you wanted to solve but you didn’t have the courage to ask it from the man, Suna, himself and hear the love story that would send you crumbling. Now, you had nothing left to break. He'd taken that heart with him when you arrived at the cabin.

"Yura said it was a promise," he swallowed like he didn't really want to talk about Suna's business to me but felt like he had to. He probably felt bad. "A promise she'd understand him even when no one did. She was a force in his life. Only she matched his energy and Suna was afraid he wouldn't find that rush again."

"He could've found a woman crazy about him just about anywhere," you wanted to scoff but settled for an awkward laugh.

"He was young when they met. Not to mention they met when—" he hesitated but one look at your eyes and the dullness behind it had him confessing with a heavy breath. "When Sakusa cut his chances off with you. They were both young and he felt like he found a match. He said something about her being the only woman he'd ever probably crave next to you once when we were much younger. But you were off-limits since he found out whose best friend you were. So, eventually, all that drifted onto Yura."

"I don't understand why you're telling me all this, Samu," you frown at him, beating of your chest so loud, you could practically hear it. "Their love story is not my business."

"Maybe," he agrees before his gaze hardens on the drink in front of him. "After all, I knew it was a bad idea the moment I found out you were dating."

"Then why—"

"But she'd dragged him along for five years. Made him think only she could possibly match that attitude and understand the way he glared at almost every fucking thing he sees because he's never in the right mood. He doesn’t know another love than what Yura showed him, if you could even call it that, YN," he grimaces as he says that. "Then she'd gotten in a relationship with Sakusa and he felt like she betrayed him and got another woman taken from him the second time."

"I thought they hadn't been talking anymore when she and Omi got together?"

"They've always been talking, YN. She came home that week and brought the hope it was just any other week in their lives. A week that meant Suna would stop seeing his regular fucks in town because she'd left hers back overseas. That was how it's always been for them. Many guys, many girls but only each other when they were in the same town."

You couldn't say anything back at that. It sounded like he was telling you they always found a way back to each other and making a point that was the reason they're back together again—dismissive about the facts they'd just broken two innocent hearts... Okay, not that you were any innocent in this outcome but still. Watching you carefully for any reaction that would tell him to stop, Osamu felt like he was drawing his own conclusions by looking at your face alone. He could tell exactly what you were thinking because he continued immediately. Probably to make clear of what he's trying to say.

He keeps breathing heavily before continuing. Like this conversation is hard enough for him to bring up. Like he isn't the one who had this idea in the first place. "He'd sworn he didn't like you that way anymore and he's forgotten about you all those five years. Then suddenly, you're there and you aren't off-limits anymore—the one other woman he's wanted as badly as he wanted Yura."

Looking away, you find the strength in you to mumble, "He very obviously doesn't want me that much if we're having this conversation."

Osamu just looks at you for a long time. You weren't sure if seconds or minutes passed but he just stares at you—gauging if he's making the right decision and you'd get what he was trying to say.

"YN just—" he leans back in his chair like you and Suna both exasperated him but he's too good in the heart to let it slide when he could've done something about it. "I'm saying, he definitely feels for you. He's goddamn stupid but he's also confused because that.. woman, has engraved herself so deep in him and whether he wants to admit it or not, he's clinging on to that younger years they both shared even when he didn't feel that way for her anymore."

Your heart hurts listening to him say all this. The truths you'd probably never pull out of Suna yourself. What was Osamu thinking? Of course, you understand what he's trying to say. Better than anyone, you're probably Suna's greatest witness to the desperation he had for Yura. It made your chest ache to think about what he'd gone through—the image of a boy who'd wanted someone to be his match so bad he'd settled for someone who was so good at making him think he wouldn't be able to find another. Maybe that's why her ring was so significant to him even during the time you were together. He's been made to think if the plan failed then he wouldn't have anyone left and he wanted the love he thought she gave him.

You resented him. Resented how you had to hurt because you didn't realize the gravity of what he felt for her. You disliked the way you hurt, the way it felt like no matter the signs he showed that he wanted you he still felt so weak when faced with her. And you hated him. Hated him for letting himself get played as much as he'd let Yura play him. Hated him that he's been wanting her for five years when you probably would've loved him far greater than he's ever experienced if he'd only still felt for you then.

"Samu," you begin, eyes stinging as you suddenly feel sad again all over. "I don't know what to do."

He nods at you in understanding, fingers drifting to rest on top of yours in the table before smiling gently. "I'm not asking you to do anything. Suna just pisses me off with how he works things out and I know he'd never tell you about it. If it helps at all, figured I'd be the one to tell ya."

Just as you are about to thank him, he follows up with more words. Each one of them knocking you over, "I've never seen him want to be over her so badly, YN. Until you. He cares a lot about you, more than he'll ever care for Yura. So do what you have to do. It doesn't have to include forgiving him for whatever he did."

◇

The snow was still as thick and heavy as it had been the day you left him. The coldness of the air still stings your cheeks and your fingers are cold like they've been made from ice. With that, your heart still felt as heavy as it was two weeks ago. You still feel like you could go crazy just thinking about him. There's an overwhelming surge of pain and love when one of his favorite songs would play in the playlist you didn’t even realize has been filled with all of the songs he always used to hum.

These days, it feels like all you ever do is hate. Hate the way Yura got to him first, hate the way you love him even though you're hurting, hate the fact that sometimes love is not enough and you feel like your heart will never be back to what it once was. You loathe how it's so hard to make yourself believe he would never long for her again. Hell, it's even hard to believe he truly liked you that way.

Maybe it was stubborn. Especially when someone's been telling you he cares. But you didn’t think you could handle someone just caring. There's an expectation you wanted him to meet. And it was selfish. So selfish but you couldn't bring yourself to even think you deserve any less after everything. Besides, even if you didn't find out what you did about Yura and she was just another girl in his life, the heavy feeling of once again not being enough and going through what you did with both Omi and Suna scares you.

Deep inside, there's an annoying itch that tells you nothing will be different regardless of what you know. Nothing will miraculously change just because a friend of his told him to get over Yura like she didn't once mean the whole world to him. You felt like you should understand. But it was hard when you're blinded by all the wrong things there is to find and say about Yura. Moreover, nothing's changed at all for the past week because you're too hurt to talk to him. You've all but given him the idea that you even want to talk to him anymore. Still, there's hope bubbling inside you. Maybe he'll break in first. Just this time, you wish he could just brush off your wishes and talk to you first.

Whatever that talk would lead to doesn't even matter. You just wanted to talk to him. Hear his voice. Pretend like everything is fine with the first hello on the other side of the line.

Staring at your phone felt like an eternity. His name blinks at you. With a black heart on the side because he insisted it looks way better than the other colors. The thought almost made you smile. He was so childish with little things sometimes and he never failed to make you laugh.

The contact name taunts you. Your finger has hovered over the green call button more times than you have probably blinked in your life. He's just directly across your house. What's making this so hard? You probably should have just walked straight up his walkway and act like everything is fine and you just wanted to talk. His birthday was tomorrow. Maybe that excuse would be good enough.

Another sigh and a failed attempt at finally pressing a button, a notification makes you jump from your seat—eyes stinging as you look at the same black heart you've been begging the heavens to talk to you, finally being the first one to give in.

Rin 🖤

I miss you so fucking much I can't spend another second not sending this and letting you know. You know I do.

Your eyes immediately water at his words. He's never texted you like this. More times than you can count, he's only ever made you laugh with his messages. Now, he sounds and feels so vulnerable that you allow your heart to hurt for him even just a little. He didn't deserve your antagonism.

To: Rin 🖤

Happy birthday, Rin.

Rin 🖤

Not for another day, baby. Wait a bit more and tell me in person tomorrow.

You don't attempt making a comment or correcting him on that. Not when you don't even realize the way your tears have started falling until there was a small drop of wetness on your thighs. Falling on your couch, you clutch the phone to your chest. Glancing outside of your window to his, you can't help the clench in your heart when you don't notice his car in the driveway—lights turned off and not a sound playing from his playlist. Maybe meeting him tonight is wishful thinking after all. Maybe he's with her. He probably missed you but it wasn't enough.

Perhaps it was these lack of expectations. The building anxiety and doubt that threatens to suffocate you. Perhaps you've felt that way because, with the smile that graced your face when you saw his obnoxiously expensive black car light up his driveway, all the negatives would have been worth it.

Like he senses you watching him from your window, his eyes meet your just a second before he's turning off the ignition. It was then the both of you felt an almost painful invisible pull. He looks at you like he's asking for permission. Like there are so many things he wants to say but only if you let him. The choking is heard in the air before you even register you're sobbing—eyes turning heavy and it falls down your cheeks with a slight nod of your head.

And just like that, like he saw the nod before you even gave it, he's opening your front door—wrapping his arms around your waist and pressing his nose on your neck. He lets out a sigh of relief the moment your warmth envelops him and he swears he could feel his heart break a thousand times over. He breathes you in like he'll never breathe again. The wet kiss he pressed on your bare shoulders lingered until his fingers were drumming on your skin.

"Hit every fucking red light the moment you replied to me," he mumbles almost incoherently, palms sliding to your backside before he's pressing you on the wall. There's no way he could get enough of you, he thinks. You fit so perfectly in him. Every gap he didn't know he had, you somehow magically fill in. He could touch you for the rest of his life and not once complain about it.

"I was waiting for you," you groan breathlessly, stomach tightening as he trails open-mouthed kisses from your neck to your mouth. You could feel his cock pressing on your thigh and suddenly the need could overflow in the room.

You were waiting for him. Literally and figuratively. Like this is the one and only time you have in the world to be with him, you've waited because you knew he'd come. You waited to feel his lips again every night. Waited to feel him around you, touching you like he wouldn't have anyone else in the world but you. You're still waiting for him.

You hope he'd wait for you too.

After this kiss. After the sex. After tonight.

That hardly matters in your head now, however. He's here. Two weeks after everything, he's right in front of you. Kissing you so hard like it makes up of everything he could only wish he could put into words. He squeezes his eyes like he's in pain every time you make a sound of pleasure. There's such a grand pain in his heart he's not sure he'll be able to overcome right now. He pushes all the thoughts out of his head, because at least, for now, he has you. Tomorrow can wait.

"I'm sorry, baby," his words grow muffled as he whispers on your lips, brushing his own with yours in a silent ask for permission. Connecting your lips with his, you both let yourself go for the night. "So fucking sorry for everything."

You crave him. Very much so that your heart wants to tear itself apart inside. You're both way past pretending you could last another second without being wrapped in each other. You could hardly breathe if his scent wasn't filling your senses.

Grabbing your thighs from the back, he lifts you up—legs wrapping around his waist as he wraps his hands on the side of your neck, angling it slightly to him and brushing his thumbs on your skin. Like a magnet connecting both of you together, he gently presses his lips—the saltiness of your tears staining his tongue until he starts feeling bitter again.

Disconnecting from the kiss, you look into his eyes. The lump in your throat so strong, you couldn't just swallow it no matter how hard you try. "You're my everything, Rin. It hurts so bad,"

"I know baby," he shakes his head, forehead pressing to yours. The quick rise and fall of his chest move in rhythm to your own. His heart beating as it is breaking with yours. He knows where this is leading. Can hear it in your voice. See it in your eyes. But tonight there's just one thing he wants, "Please. Just for tonight, baby. Pretend one more time for me. Like you'd still take me and that whole fucking trip never happened. Baby, please."

Desperation drips from his voice—raw and frantic. Like if he didn't say it then, he'd lose you forever. Suna thinks it was funny how much he could want you this second but be willing to let you slip from him so easily—if your happiness would depend on it. You're shaking beneath him. Eyes never leaving his because you're just as afraid he'll disappear.

Nodding against him, you feel the sobs wrack your whole body. Squeezing the words out of you, you tell him in response. "Please."

Please if just for another night.

Please touch.

Please love.

Please make you cry for him because it makes you feel the way your heart beats for him. Makes you feel alive. Makes you feel like you're experiencing the love you'll probably never experience again.

Suna pushes you away from the wall, lips never leaving yours as he carries you to your bedroom. You deserve better than a wall fuck. You deserve better than being pressed against a cold, hard, drywall. Smoothing the hair from your face, he takes you up the stairs with one arm wrapped around your waist. The tears won't stop falling for you. The more you look at him, the more you break.

"You're so beautiful," he breaks your trance with a whisper, gentle and slow on your lips. He wants to call you his. Wants to tell you he's yours but he didn't.

He's lost the privilege to call you that a long time ago.

Laying you down the bed, he's gentle as he grabs the sides of your underwear—slipping it down your legs but not breaking the contact with your eyes. His chest is caving in. You're the most beautiful, most amazing woman he'd probably ever be with. He didn't have to look down and away from your eyes to be able to tell you're perfect. His own throat tightens up.

"Are you sure you want this?" He dips a head on your neck, kissing your ears softly as he asks you.

"More than anything in the world, Rin," a sad smile grazes your lips, fingers threading through his already longer hair.

Pulling the rest of your clothes off with his, he slowly lowers himself down, lips on your jaw as he slowly pushes himself in. His hips stutter, the feeling of your warmth against him making him lose his mind. The way you wrap around him. The taste of your skin.

Then, suddenly, it feels like he's forced into the realization that tonight would be the last. He didn't know why. You didn’t need to tell him but everything about tonight feels that way. He tries to savor every single inch of yourself you're willing to give him.

You can't stop the tears falling from your cheeks. It was both pathetic and embarrassing you're crying at such a moment. But you leave tomorrow. Five thousand miles away from him seems and feels like you'll ever get a taste of this again any time soon.

This isn't the goodbye you shared that day two weeks ago. This isn't anything like the screams or the begging. Nothing like the doubt and the hurt that he didn't love you like you loved him. There isn't a trace of selfishness.

This is what goodbye really is.

This is saying goodbye to your one true love—for how long, you didn’t know. This is accepting that sometimes love is not enough to keep two broken souls together. This is a goodbye that would stick. A goodbye that wouldn't allow texting until the other shows up in front of the other's door because it was physically impossible.

Sometimes it was hard to remember who you were before someone special walked into your life.

With Rin, it was the complete opposite.

It's hard to forget what life was before him because all it ever was then is a monochrome of all the things you wanted and couldn't have. All the things you wished for in hopes it might finally make you happy. You remember every moment of your bleak life eight months ago. The routine you fell into, the expectations that broke you. It wasn’t at all hard to forget.

Because you remember exactly when all of that changed. When you looked forward to text messages that would come in at two in the morning because you knew you'd get to see him skate. He'd laugh at you when you ran and almost felt like fainting trying to catch up but that hardly mattered because he'd take you out to drinks and ice cream after. Pulling you in his lap when he played his games suddenly become your most comfortable position and location.

He wasn't there then he was suddenly everywhere.

And God, did you love him. You loved him so much and the feeling of him stretching you out. Your heart beats so loud for him that every inch of you welcomes him. The pain you feel for him—for the kind of life he lived with Yura and the things he put you through, could only be so strong because you adored him.

With his last thrust, orgasm spilling inside you as your thighs shake and you come apart with him, you reach for his neck—wrapping two arms around him as you cry out in pleasure. He rocks against you a few more times, riding his high with your name falling from his lips with a groan.

When you both regain your breath, he doesn't collapse on top of you immediately. Holding your eyes, he props himself up with his elbows—gaze scanning your whole face like he's trying to memorize what he would miss. Then, with a soft voice, a shaky smile, and so much emotion to break him apart, you tell him,

"I love you, Rin," you don't hesitate. And it wasn't a declaration like the last time. You simply wanted him to know. And you'd let him know as much as you could tonight.

This was the love he was supposed to have gotten then. You wanted him to know someone loves him as much as you do that the love he believed in then would pale and fade from him. You wanted him to understand that despite everything, you love him and it was the kind of love he should believe in.

Not even this goodbye would erase it.

"I love you so much," you repeat because he'll probably not hear it from you for a while and you didn't want him to forget.

You wished you could have stayed. That you were strong enough to believe in both of you. That you could forget everything that happened along with the pain that came with it. But you weren’t. You didn’t want to lose sight of what you had. What you could possibly have. But tonight is where you say goodbye. This is where you draw the line.

You'd be losing each other, for now, but he wouldn't be losing you.

And if a month from now, a week from now, the love is still not lost on you, then maybe you'd find yourself again. In the afterglow, when everything after the storm has calmed. When you could love as much as you want to because the harsh burn of the sun has settled.

He smiles at you sadly in return, reaching out to brush your cheeks and kissing you until you fall asleep. He held you and you could feel the beat of the heart you know longs and beats for you. You could feel the warmth in him. There's the light way his hair tickles your shoulders. The steady rhythm of his breath lulls you to sleep. He rubbed your spine as you lay on his chest, the calloused touch of his fingers as a result of years of volleyball another addition to the million things you'll miss from him.

Morning came faster than you could have prepared yourself for. The light coming from the blinds makes you squint. Your inner thighs hurt, your breasts sore. A reminder of the events that transpired the night before. You feel sticky and hot all over but there's a noticeable kind of coldness on the other side of your bed.

You didn’t set any expectations. You knew he'd be gone by the time you opened your eyes. You probably even felt it when he slipped away from you because you could clearly remember stirring from your sleep. Still, looking at the side he was supposed to occupy, your heart drops to your stomach. He hadn't even stayed to say goodbye. He asked you to wait another day for his birthday greeting. Now, you couldn’t do it with a final kiss on the lips you'll be missing for months to come anymore.

It's like there was hardly any evidence he was even there last night.

If not for the pieces of paper folded neatly on his side—blending so nicely to your white sheets, you almost missed it.

With shaking hands, you grab the papers. You didn’t know if you wanted to read the things he was going to be telling you. Maybe he'll tell you finally that you were wrong about him. That he still loved her and would love her for much longer. You don't believe you're ready for it. You don't think anyone is ever ready for something like this. But you suck it up, lean back on the headrest of your bed, and start to read.

YN,

I don't know how to start this. There's a lot of things I need to tell you. I'm writing this as you walk away from me, in the cabin I'm supposed to stay in for another day without you. Without your warmth, without your voice. I only had your scent left but now all of that's gone too because I made the mistake of getting too close with a woman who wasn't you. A woman I'd never feel for as much as I would ever feel for you.

I'm stupid. Osamu has told me over and over again that I would never make the right decisions while I'm hung up on someone so badly. He'd said I'd never be with someone who wouldn't leave me hanging if I kept hanging on to someone that wouldn't even commit. It's ridiculous because I never lived by that advice. I never listened to Samu until you were in front of me and I wanted nothing more than to shake her hold on me. I didn't realize it was at that point, YN. And I was so mad at myself I let it become a part of me for so long that I couldn't remove myself from it fast enough to make you stay.

I failed you. What this is is probably both karma and self-sabotage. I've done things I'm not proud of. I see it now. I should've done a million things better. But all I did was choose the wrong things.

It was always a bunch of couldn'ts for me. Couldn't commit, couldn't move on, couldn't choose the right things. And in return, all I've wanted from you was your coulds. That you could somehow accept that I'm messed up and couldn't get my shit sorted out, that you could love me despite that, that you could understand.

And I feel so bad, baby. Because you could. Over and over again. That's all you've given me. All I've asked from you, even in secret, I got in return.

You don't need to ask from me. I know I've put myself in a situation I need to fix whether someone asks me for it or not. I wished it was that easy so many times, YN. I felt like I was so close. I was almost there and I'd run out of time.

That was all my fault. You don't have to tell yourself maybe you could have waited longer, another could, because you don't have to. You've waited long enough. None of the reasons why we didn't work out your fault. It was all mine.

I wouldn't want you to keep waiting. Don't wait for me, YN. I'm not worth waiting that long over. I don't want any more of your memories of me to be with so much hurt. Not when the ones I have of you are possibly the best moments of my life.

2nd-year high school was the best memory I had of going to school. You were in the crowd, in the seats close to the court because you were watching Sakusa Kiyoomi play and I looked at you. I thought then you were the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. That you could have the worst personality and I wouldn't even mind.

It was the first memory I have of feeling like I was in love. I was so young and it's ridiculous to even think a sixteen-year-old could ever feel like that.

I don't know why I let your asshole of a best friend get between me then but that was the worst mistake of my life, clearly. Then it's all what-ifs. What if we had met then? What if I didn't let anything stop me? I saw you everywhere after that. For years after. And while the beat of my heart dulled for a little, it never got quiet, YN.

Then I see you again, so fucking close eight years later with that look in your eyes. Like you loved Sakusa so much and he didn't love you back. I didn't know why there was an urge for me to make sure you never felt that way again. My heart beat so loud I'd never believed more that it really exists inside me.

From that moment, the only memories I've ever had were those that I'll never forget.

How did I let all of that go to waste? How did I mess up something I've wanted so bad?

I'm so fucked up.

Now you're sleeping beside me. On the last night I'll see you, at least for quite some time. I don't know why this letter has gotten so long. But maybe there were just so many things I wanted you to hear but couldn't say. There were also things you probably didn't want to hear but I wanted to say anyway. I'm a selfish bastard.

Even as you kissed me on the lips and told me you loved me over and over, I couldn't say it. I didn't want to because you never would have gotten to the airport if I did. Because I'd be too selfish to let you go. Because hearing me finally say it would make you confused. I know it would. And I didn't want that.

Love is not supposed to hurt, YN. And I've hurt you far too much. I don't want the three most important words I've ever said to be associated with the pain I would cause you if you happened to stay.

But I wanted you to know anyway. It would probably be easier for you if I just never tell you to begin with but the thought of you not knowing kills me. I'll be selfish and tell you, YN.

I love you so much. I love you so fucking much I don't know how I'd go through tomorrow without you. Without knowing how long I'll have to wait for you. But still, I love you so much that I would. Because you've waited for me when I had nothing in return to give you.

But you don't have to do that, YN. You don't have to wait for me. Fall in love and be happy. Sure I'd kill the guy ten times over in my head but I'd still want you to find the happiness you deserve. One that would come without any baggage.

Don't reply to this letter. Don't text me a happy birthday or call me because you feel bad like I know you would. This letter isn't to keep you stuck in the past. It's what I hope would send you in the future.

I love you so so fucking much.

You're my everything.

- Rin with a black heart emoji because it's cooler. I love you.

You cried for so long after reading the letter that you had to force yourself to get through the day of getting ready. You cried in your shower, didn't bother to put makeup on because you cried all the way to the drive in the airport. You'd cry handing on your ticket too—your fingers shaking as you hand in your passport. The flight attendants have given you weird stares but your focus is stuck on the letter you sneaked in the back of your phone case. After that, you cried for days and weeks more to come.

You missed him. You wanted to call him, text him. He's in everything you do. Every new place you go to, you wished you could have experienced with him. It had been his birthday then. The day you let him go. And every 25th of the month you count the days that passed since he told you he loved you, wishing it stood true in the test of time.

It stayed that way for a long time. Like a never-ending cycle you've grown used to. It was a day to day of loving him, missing him, and regretting he wasn't by your side when you could have done something about it.

But like what everyone said, time heals everything and it passes by in the blink of an eye. A lot happened in such a period of time and you've both gained and lost a lot. Though, it shouldn't be too surprising.

Not when it has been two years since that day you left.

Still, faster than you could have imagined, everything has changed from the way it was before you boarded the plane.

And if the wedding invitation on your mail with his name written in bold isn't enough testament to the fact, then you aren't sure what is.

🏷 : @nozomiasl @lilith412426 @coconois @effmigentlywithachainsaw @savantsoulfinder @my-reality-is-in-my-head @shawkneecaps @satorinnie @fail-big @cuddlesslut @stffychn @sugusshi @rntrsuna @jiminslajibolala03 @rinsangel @atzuums @sunarinsbubs @iwaprotector @exologys @g0thbunnyy @oikawa-bubs @starylust @call-me-lulu @ouraniaastraea @milkteeboba @criesinpisces @tendo-sxtori @plusultra2dwhore @witcherydotcom @yoitsseulgi @trshex @heizenka @maitenight @victoriasee @whoisalexa @asaitashi @evilox @daaisukii

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fic #haikyuu x you #haikyuu angst #haikyuu smut #cry for me ; series #suna x reader #suna rintarou x reader #suna rintaro x reader #suna smut #suna angst #suna rintaro angst #suna rintaro smut #suna rintarou angst #suna rintarous smut #sakusa x reader

1K notes · View notes

cynnied-writes · 3 years

Text

i like me better (when i'm with you)

○ fandom: deltarune

○ main pairing: kralsei (kris x ralsei) | minor pairing: suselle (susie x noelle)

○ characters: kris | ralsei | susie

○ genre/warnings: romance (mostly fluff… for now) | a bit of coming of age angst

○ chapter word count: 8,566

→ summary: Kris Dreemurr, the eccentric musician SilentKnight on TikTok, hadn't meant to trespass through Ralsei Prince's backyard and fall into his pond. But to be fair, they were utterly plastered at the time.

○ note: Heeyy, sorry about that abrupt week off. I was dealin' with some stuff. But now I'm back with the commencement of Act Two! Now, we get to get to the good stuff. Cue the falling in love montage music!! Oh, also, there are some things in this chapter you might judge me for, but I would just like to defend myself and say that it's not my fault there's no gender-neutral long-form name for Kris. Okay? Not my fault! If you have a problem with it, DM me on Tumblr. Meet me in the pit.

< PREV CHP | NEXT CHP > | CHP INDEX

Chapter 6/23: Masquerade Birthday Balls & Chivalrous Silent Knights

Ralsei

Faux Relationship Contract

This Faux Relationship Contract (hereinafter referred to as the “Contract”) is entered into as of September 3rd, 2022, by and between Ralsei Lorgaso O’Connelli Prince (hereinafter referred to as “Party R”) and Kristinopher Asgiel Luffjoie Dreemurr (hereinafter referred to as “Party K”), of which both parties agree to be bound by, establishes an exclusive partnership. Party R and Party K are hereinafter to be collectively referred to as the “Couple.”

“O’Connelli?”

“It’s my mother’s maiden name, what of it?”

“Never knew.”

“Hmm, well, there are a million things about your name that I could be asking you about.”

“Shoot.”

“Kristinopher?”

“Heh, my egg donor had such shit handwriting that they couldn’t tell which she’d written down, Kristine or Kristopher, and since my parents couldn’t settle on either, they combined them. It’s the Boss Monster way.”

“Your parents are Boss Monsters?”

“Do you think Asgiel is a normal name?”

“You never thought to mention—”

“Young ones! Back to the contract, if you’d be so inclined.”

“Apologies, Dr. Gaster. Ahem.”

NOW, THEREFORE, FOR AND IN CONSIDERATION of the mutual promises and agreements contained herein, Party R engages Party K to act under the terms and conditions hereby agreed upon by the Couple.

I. Term. The term of this Contract shall commence on September 3rd, 2022 and terminate on February 15th, 2023.

“Who breaks up with someone the day after Valentine’s Day?”

“Thou wouldst be surprised.”

“Young one.”

“Right.”

II. Partnership Outline.

2.1 The Couple will not take any temporary lovers or permanent romantic relationships over the allotted term to maintain the guise of engaging in an exclusive relationship.

2.2 The Couple will only begin to engage romantically once the public is adequately aware of the “burgeoning relationship.”

2.2.1 When in public, The Couple will act as if both parties have a romantic affection for the other and partake in public displays of the aforementioned affection, which include but are not limited to: hand-holding; brief kisses on the hand, cheek, or lips; arms around waists/shoulders; coordinated outfits, when appropriate.

“Absolutely not. Strike that last one out.”

“What do you have against couple’s outfits.”

“Literally everything.”

“At some point you’re going to have to accompany me to an event with a red carpet, we’re going to have to coordinate then. My stylist won’t have it any other way.”

“Fine, they can complement each other, but nothing to matchy-matchy.”

“Very well. Now, where were we…?”

Originally, Ralsei’s nineteenth birthday party was supposed to be a small affair.

He’d take his boat out, watch the sunrise over the mountainous horizon, and spend most of the day lounging as he flipped through old scrapbooks. Then, once it got late enough, get ready for dinner with Uncle Rouxls and Lancer at his Uncle’s place. Nothing fancy. Nothing like what they’d come up with that fateful Saturday.

You see, he and Kris needed an organic way for them to “run into each other” again in public, where influential (read: gossipy) people would see. If they wanted everyone to buy their relationship, they couldn’t jump into it out of nowhere. There had to be a sort of build-up. A will-they-won’t-they type of situation. That’s when, over a lunch of Caprese salad, Uncle Rouxls had brought up his birthday. Kris had crashed one party before; why couldn’t they do it again? Answer to all their problems, right? Not quite. They soon realized that there actually needed to be a party to crash.

And it had to be big.

Big enough that people wouldn’t think that Ralsei had invited Kris to it. Which meant that they had two weeks to arrange a nineteenth birthday extravaganza. It was a tough ask. Especially since they had a strict theme, a masquerade ball. What? He was a sucker for period clothing. And Kris had been in as soon as they’d realized they had a good reason to wear their suit of armour outside.

With only a smidge of eye-rolling at their dual love of dramatics, Dr. Gaster and his Uncle somehow managed to pull it off. Finding the perfect venue deep in the Agoura Hills, Colibrí Castle. Something straight out of a fairytale with its cobbled exteriors and medieval-styled interiors. The perfect romantic backdrop to a courtly costume party.

Even now, as he got dressed in the castle’s main bedroom, he couldn’t help but feel as if he were transported back in time. As if he really was a Prince preparing himself for a ball.

Thanks to the vintage candle-like sconces, the entire room was bathed in a golden glow. Rich amber fabrics hung from the lancet windows and the traditional canopy bed frame. In contrast to the cream ones that covered the pillow-filled bed. On one side of the room sat the red and gold fainting couch his Uncle had thrown himself across as soon as he could. On the other was dark wooden vanity.

As he perched on its cushy seat, he clasped an onyx pendant around his neck. Humming along to the muffled jaunty bardcore covers coming from downstairs. Bopping his head to what felt like his very own grand theme music. Once the pendant laid flat against his sternum, his claws lingered for a moment, caressing it before they ventured elsewhere.

Picking up his glasses, he settled them on his face before wrinkling his nose and adjusting them. After a few moments of fiddling, he let out a tiny huff. He’d have to get used to wearing them with the green and black flamboyant mask attached to the front.

Prying his paws away from his glasses, he let them drift upwards to put his horn ornaments to rights. They were similar to a floral chandelier earring and inlaid with emeralds and pearls, dangling from his (finally!) curling horns. Then, turning his head this way and that way, he gazed at himself in the mirror to see if they were even.

They were, and yet, he still found himself hesitating to declare his outfit perfect and head downstairs to greet his guests. All of them came here to see him, after all. It’d be insulting to sequester himself up in this room for the whole night. Not to mention he’d be letting Kris down as well. Just the thought that all this trouble was for not made his stomach feel leaden. This was their first real test to see if this whole fake relationship thing would work. But maybe that was the problem.

What if tonight didn’t go well? What if he couldn’t convince his peers that this was the beginning of a romance between two budding stars? What if he couldn’t leave his innocent persona behind and step into one that was in keeping with the legacy he had to uphold…?

Well, then, fuck him, right?

He doesn’t know how long he stared at his own reflection. Spaced out, avoiding his hosting duties. It had to be long enough for him to jump in his seat when the bedroom door opened, though.

Uncle Rouxls’ head popped in with a half-smile. His long, platinum hair swept back in a low ponytail while a white and copper-hued harlequin-ish mask on his face. “Dearest nephew, I believe it high time that thou greeted all thine guests.”

“Yes, yes, I suppose you’re right.” He said, sighing as he rose to his feet. No going back now, he thought as he straightened out his clover green embellished jacket. Squaring his cloaked shoulders, he put on a sweet smile. “Can’t leave them waiting all night.”

Following his Uncle out, he congratulated himself on only longingly glancing at the library next door once as they headed down the hall. A corridor that narrowed further as the floor on either side of the center opened up to them. Giving them a birdseye view of the bustling entryway. Filled with costumed Monsters and Humans alike, all wearing elaborate masks. Someone must’ve seen him pass by. His name echoed in his ears as they made their way down the spiralled staircase. His paw trailed against the thick chain links they had as a railing. And as soon as he made it to the last time, it was showtime.

If there was one thing his parents had taught him was how to be a gracious host. Instilling the importance of keeping your guests happy and attending to their needs into him at a young age. Mainly in the form of asking him leading questions. Like if he thought it’d be wise to include a variety of juice boxes at his birthday lunch and not just his favourites. Or wondering out loud if one of his shyer friends was feeling left out. So he liked to think, even with a guest list two hundred names long, that he’d spent the first few hours of his party as flawless of a host as they were.

Greeting every guest he could, thankfully a lot of them had bunched up, and thanking them for coming. Using his actor brain to do his best to memorize names to masks and using them wherever he could. People loved it when you remembered. Taking photos with whoever asked, fixing any problems brought up. He did it all with a pep in his step, a smile on his lips, and a swish in his cloak. Doing his best to exude an effortless elegance, he was only half-sure he was pulling off.

By the stroke of eight o’clock, he was beginning to feel the wear of all his hostly obligations. At this point, the only thing propelling his feet forward and onto the next guest was the thought of, at some point, running into Kris. They hadn’t planned anything out further than both of them being at the party. No meeting spot or secret code word. Only vague proximity. He couldn’t deny the excitement bubbling in his chest. How his soul skipped a beat at every glimpse of tanned skin or deep brown locks. But, unfortunately, every time he looked further, he was left disappointed.

Where were they?

It’s not as if he isn’t enjoying his party. He is! Reconnecting with some of his old castmates and catching up with his current ones was a joy. Sometimes he forgot how nice it was to talk with someone who understood his professional plights. And some of the influencers his Uncle had invited were downright bearable to talk to! Not all of them. Thank Darkness, not all of them.

He was currently talking to one of those influencers (Audrey…something) but had long since gotten lost in his own thoughts. Don’t worry. Every time he forced himself to listen, it didn’t seem he was missing anything of interest. Back to his point, though. Despite all the other delightful people he was connecting with, the longer the party went on, the harder it was to keep up his pleasantness.

Had Kris decided not to come?

That’d be ridiculous. Between the contract they’d signed and their eagerness to wear their armour, there’s no way they’d stand him up. And yet… Why else would they not be here?

Colibrí Castle isn’t that far from the Valley, a quiet, icy voice in the back of his mind hissed. The one that loved to ponder the kinds of questions his Therapist had helped him work through. It shouldn’t have taken them long to arrive. What if something happened to them? Even the shortest of car trips can end in disaster. How would you know?

His throat began to tighten, causing his answers to Audrey’s questions to become nothing more than hums and head shakes. Somehow carrying on the conversation as his mind filled with chaos. How would he know?

No matter how much it seems like it, their Uncle isn’t clairvoyant. He’d be just as clueless as you. You might not know for hours, days, maybe, if Dr. Gaster doesn’t pick up when you call. If Kris is dead in a heap of crushed metal, consumed in flames and smoke, how would you know?

The tightness grew downwards until it seized his chest as well. His soul beat an imprint against his ribcage as his paws started to shake so bad he had to hold them behind his back.

The only thing you’d know for sure is that it’s your fault. They wouldn’t have needed to take their fatal drive to the castle if you hadn’t insisted on this fake relationship. Just like how your parents hadn’t needed to come home the night they did, but you begged them to. They’d still be alive if it wasn’t for you. Kris would still be alive if it wasn’t for you.

Selfish, spoiled, soulless little brat. Your parents would be ashamed—

“You know what, Audrey. I am so sorry, but I believe I need to step out for a moment.” He doesn’t know how he’d gotten all that out, but he did. Doesn’t know how Audrey had taken his abrupt exit from their conversation either. He was too busy hurting out of the castle’s morning room, his breaths quickening.

Through the dining hall and the living room’s archways, apology after apology fell from his lips as he weaved his way through the clusters of guests. Finally, making it to the entry hall, he looked around before making a beeline towards the spiralling staircase. Following them down and around until he reached the bottom. Pushing through the heavy front door and into the fresh night air. The sounds of the party dimmed in his ears if only a bit.

Tears welled in his eyes, his chest heaved as he tried to take in as much air as he could. So, why did it feel like it was getting none at all? Growing dizzy, he let himself fall back against the oak wood door, sliding down it until he felt the cold stone against his tail. Closing his eyes, he pressed his paws to his chest and tried to slow his breaths. The rise and fall were soothing enough for him to try to ground himself. Okay, alright, okay.

“I’m Ralsei Prince. I’m eighteen, no, nineteen years old. I live in Beverly Hills, California. I’m currently in the Agoura Hills. Today is Saturday the seventeenth of September, my birthday. I’m sitting on the ground on the stoop of Colibrí Castle. There’s only me in here—”

“—Yeah, that one’s not true, dude.” The smell of cigarette smoke had hit his nose before the rough, husky voice had hit his ears. But he still jerked backwards, banging his head against the door. Despite the sudden jolt of pain, his eyes shot open to find a tall, mauve-skinned monster staring back. At the bottom of the grand staircase, leaning against the stone handrail, cigarette hanging between her lips, she quirked a brow. Round yet sharp eyes darting back and forth as she asked, “Ya’ need me to leave or…?”

“Oh, Darkness, no.” He said, shaking his head and waving his hands. Mentally kicked himself for having his meltdown in front of one of his guests. Every good host knows that you have them in bathrooms or closets. Amateur move on his part. “You were here first….”

The draconic Monster took a long drag of her cigarette, blowing out the smoke in a cloud befitting her heritage before she answered. “Susie.”

“Susie, I wouldn’t want to put you out.” He said, pulling his knees up to his chin and burning his face in them. Trying to make himself as small as possible. Maybe he’d disappear. Or at least get rid of the vertigo that came along with the waning of his panic attacks. “What are you doing out here, though? Do you need anything? Sorry if—”

“Ugh, don’t apologize. I needed a fucking break. No offence but all that glitz was gonna give me hives.” Hooking a claw inside, she yanked at her collar with a grimace. Loosening it enough for her to let out a sigh. “My girl loves it though and my best friend… invited us, so, here I am. You too?”

“Yes, something like that. I got into my head about… It’s silly,” He said, trailing off as he shook his head and immediately regretted it. Forgot about the dizziness. Wincing at the world’s sudden tilt, he tucked his head back down between his knees. Susie didn’t seem to mind the lapse in their conversation, thankfully. Not everyone would be as patient. He knew it first hand. Once his dizzy spell finally faded, he raised his head. Flashing her a brittle smile before trying to regain his train of thought. “Sorry about that. It’s just that my friend hasn’t arrived yet, and I thought the worst.”

Underneath her dark, shaggy bangs, Susie’s brows furrowed. Another puff of smoke drifted up into the night air as she took another drag before she asked, “Didn’t you throw a masquerade party?”

“I mean yes,—”

“Isn’t the whole point not to know who’s who?”

“Historically speaking—”

“How do you know they aren’t here?”

“I’ve been waiting for them all night!” Ralsei snapped, his voice fiercer and more uncouth than he’d usually allow himself as he slammed his fists into his lap. “I’ve been wandering around the castle for hours now, if they were here, they’d have plenty of chances to find me.”

As his final word rang out into the night, he drew a steadying breath. Trying to quell the wrathful frustration building within. It got much easier to do once he saw how Susie’s eyes had widened as she froze in place. Darkness, damn it all, he hadn’t meant to blow up at her.

It seemed like more and more these days, he was losing his composure where everyone and anyone could see. Like when Kris and Dr. Gaster had shown up at the family beach house, and he hadn’t stopped squabbling with his Uncle. Their twin stunned looks had made him want to disappear into a void. This wasn’t what he meant by wanting a reputation change. Yes, he wanted people to think of him differently, as a proper adult, but nothing that was too out of the ordinary for him. He couldn’t imagine that anyone would take the more… unpolished sides of him well at all.

No.

No, they definitely wouldn’t.

“Alright, cool, umm,” Susie said, her words now slow and hesitant. “So, do you know what they’re wearin’ at least?”

More than a bit ashamed, his shoulders shrugged as he answered, “Approximately.”

“Approximately. Fucken’ nerd.” Susie said under her breath with a sharp bark of a laugh and a roll of her eyes. “Sounds like you better start hunting, dude.”

“Is it too much to want them to come to me?”

“’s a good way to waste your life.” She said gruffly, though with a devil-may-care shrug as well. Plumes bloom from her cigarette as she waved it about, here and there, as she made her point. “Now, are you gonna sit there like a tool or are you gonna go find your friend?”

Resting a cheek on a propped-up hand, he couldn’t resist the urge to pout. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re rather blunt.”

“Heh, they mostly just call me rude, but sure.” She said with a chuckle. Then, blowing out one more puff of smoke, she threw the bud on the ground and crushed it with her heel. “Better get back into the fray. Left my girl in there.” Her lax shoulders tightened as her eyes darted over to him. As if to see if he caught her mistake. Feeling a bit cheeky, he arched a brow, even though he didn’t fully comprehend her misstep. “I-I mean, she not my girl, you know, but, well, we’ve been—ugh, y-you know what I mean.” Shoving her hands into her pockets with a rough sigh, she ambled up the stone steps until she was standing next to him. Stopping, she squinted her eyes up at the sky before offering a hand. “You hittin’ the bricks or not?”

Taking her hand and helping him pull himself to his feet. His legs were still a tad shaky from his panic attack. Smoothing down his costume, “Thank you for your wisdom, oh faithful advisor.”

“Yeah, keep talkin’ like that and see where it gets ya.”

Ralsei gasped, holding a paw to his chest. “Is that a threat on the reigning sovereign’s life I hear?”

“I don’t care if it’s your birthday, I’ll trash you.”

For some reason, he didn’t believe that. And not just because he had celebrity privilege. With a dramatic sweep of his arm, he smiled wide and bowed. “Twas a joy to meet you, Sir Susie.”

“Okay, fine.” She said as she pulled out a black scaled mask from her pocket. Settling it in place on her face and tying the ribbons under her long ponytail, she sighed. Looking back down at him one last time. “I don’t hate that one.”

Making sure to give a firm nudge on the way, Susie made her way up the left side of the bifurcated staircase and down the cobbled walkway. Heading towards the castle’s deck and gardens. Leaving him alone with his thoughts, truly this time.

She did have a point.

It was improbable that they’d gotten into a car crash on the short half-hour drive from their home to the castle. They were here. He just had to find them… in a way that wasn’t suspicious, of course. There still had to be some level of “coincidence” to their second meeting. But how do you search for someone without it looking like you’re searching for them? He could try to lure them out. But then he was left with the further question of how.

As he went back to strolling around his party, the question rattled around his mind. In between thanking compliments on his latest velvet suit for the VMAs and indulging in some of the finger food, he mulled. What do you do when you want to bait a Kris? From a cursory glance at their TikTok, he knew they liked eating moss and chocolate. Not together, of course. Or at least, he hoped. Either way, neither of those things weren’t going to help him attract a wild Kris. He’d have to keep them in mind as potential gift ideas when their birthday finally rolled around, though.

Hold on a second…

That’s it!

It’s his birthday party so there would obviously be gifts. And Kris had made an offhanded comment about getting him one in the brief text conversations they’d had in the past two weeks.

He’d assured them that he wanted nothing fancy, that they didn’t even need to get him anything. Then they’d texted back, “what kind of datemate would I be if I didn’t get my boyfriend a birthday present?” and then changed the subject altogether. He’d been keen for it; his soul had fluttered at the “my boyfriend” bit. Made his insides feel all weird. Whew, he really did need all this romance practice if Kris’ teasing was enough to trip him up.

But never mind that, in the end, Kris had never backed down from the notion of giving him a gift. So, if he announced that he would open all of them all at once, they’d want to see his reaction, right? It was the perfect plan.

Finding Uncle Rouxls near the deck bar was unsurprising. He was a middle-aged man surrounded by a hoard of people under or around the age of twenty-five. So Ralsei couldn’t blame him for throwing back a gin mojito or two.

Sure, he seemed a tad wavy as he set off to wrangle both the guests and presents into the castle’s garden after Ralsei asked. But he got the job done. In two shakes of a lamb’s tail, he had the entire party gathered around where he sat on a raised cobbled platform near the castle’s large babbling pool. All of his presents stacked on his right as Uncle Rouxls dutiful stood on his left. There weren’t many of them, thank the Dark Fountain, but enough to have created a small pile of all shapes and sizes.

The ambient murmur of the crowd was soon hushed as he plucked present after present from the top of the heap. He couldn’t lie; anticipation fluttered in his chest every time he held one up, asking whoever gifted it to step forward. Those short, few seconds betwixt his ask and the answer felt like mini eternities. Like he and the world were both holding their breaths until someone stepped forward. His thoughts raced as the tension grew and grew. Questions of whether or not this gift would be the one pinged about in his mind. Only to have to stop himself from withering when someone who was decidedly not Kris answered his call.

It’s horrible to admit. But with every gift he held up and every non-Kris person speaking up, he grew more and more despondent. Unable to fully appreciate all the presents. Expensive watches, an old-fashioned instant camera, a bubble tea kit, vinyl records, all of them were wonderful. But none of them had done the one thing he wanted them to do. Bring Kris to him.

With the last gift sitting on his lap, rectangular and weighty, he sighed as he gazed down at the semi-bad wrapping job. Already checked out, he raised it up and asked as he did for all the others, putting on a princely act. “Tis the final gift, my good people. And I have a feeling it’s something grand. May I ask which one of you fine courtiers graced me with this here gift?”

Just like every time before, he was left in suspense, but instead of being let down moments later, there was no answer.

Perplexed, he looked up at Uncle Rouxls with an arched eyebrow. A silent question to which Uncle Rouxls could only give a shrug as a reply. Very well then, perhaps they didn’t hear him. Lifting the gift even higher above his head, he called out again, “Now, now, don’t be shy.”

Nothing.

“No, seriously, whose gift is this?” He asked, dropping his act altogether. Searching the sea of guests for a sign of the gifter’s presence. But nothing popped out at him. Only faces that were just as confused as him stared back. At this point, the anticipation within him threatened to consume him whole. Until the crowd began to move. Rippling like the sea before parting just enough for a single figure to step forward.

They were short yet still long and lanky with a familiar tan skin with warm peachy undertones that only showed because their arms were bare. Unlike the rest of their body. Which was clad in a black jumpsuit with not quite a full suit of armour on top. But what they did have was this stunning silver with engravings along the borders.

Not to mention the hot pink cape draped around their shoulders. The edges of it all cut up and worn down as if they’d just come back from a gruelling yet thrilling quest. And, dragging his eyes back up, navy blue locks hung around the sleek, full masquerade mask that hid their entire face. Except…

Except for their eyes.

Twin red giants, he’d know them anywhere. They swirled with mischievousness and vibrancy and never left his form as they bowed deeply. Yet, still, they didn’t say a word. Guess their SilentKnight username was more literal than he thought.

Accepting this, Ralsei bowed his head back in acknowledgement, doing his best to hide a smirk. His plan had worked, after all. Relief washed over him as he began to open up Kris’ present. All there was to be found was a note on top of a glass container. Picking up the note first, he read it quietly.

Happy Birthday.

I know your father never wrote that recipe down.

So, I hope this is the next best thing.

Flip me over.

Doing as the note said, he flipped it over to find a list of ingredients and instructions for—

“Apple Muffins.” He gasped, bringing a paw to cover his mouth. For the second time tonight, tears began to well in his eyes. Oh, Kris didn’t. Did they?

Remembering that the gift wasn’t only the note, he tucked the recipe underneath the container. Revealing a dozen apple muffins inside the thick, clear glass. Forgetting where he was, he opened it up and was hit with the warm, cinnamony smell. Picking one of the muffins up, he held it up to his nose, breathing in deep before taking a bite.

Half-forgotten memories hit him like a freight train. Being at his father’s side on a stool, standing on the tips of his toes as he helped stir the batter. His mother’s bell-like laughter as he diligently sat by the oven watching the muffins bake. The scents engulfed him in a cocoon of love. And the best part, biting into a warm, freshly baked muffin with his parents on either side of him, a trio of satisfied ‘hmms’ ringing out. Oh, Darkness, how he’d missed it.

Slowly but surely, he came back to reality. His cheeks were wet from the stream of big, fat tears running down them. Brushing them away, he looked up from Kris’ wonderful gift to thank them. Only to see the edges of their fluttering cape disappear into the crowd.

No!

“Uncle Rouxls, watch these for me.” He said as he placed Kris’ gift down as nicely as he could before leaping from his seat and running after them. Bobbing and weaving through the crowd that tried its best to make room for him. Bursting into the dining hall, he caught a glimpse of Kris’ speeding figure dashing through the living room and around the corner. Towards the entranceway. Damn this Human to the Angel’s Heaven. They were not about to slink off into the night. Not if he had anything to say about it.

Following the sounds of clanking armour and metal boots echoing in the stone halls, he ran down the stairs and through the front door. Only to find himself alone in the cool night air. What? How did they—where could they’ve gone? Damning his luck, he was just about to head back inside when he heard metal ring out against stone to his left.

Ah ha. Gotcha, Kris.

Creeping, he made his way up the section of the forked staircase that led to the castle’s east wing. The sounds of the party grew fainter and fainter as he crept. Across the narrow cobbled walkway encircling most of the outer castle, passing by many archways that led to nothing he was interested in. So concentrated in his search that he almost missed the one that led him to his soul’s desire.

All too fairytale-esque, the archway led to a courtyard, tiny thing that it was. Open-air with only a leaning willow tree to hide them from the upper decks that overlooked it. A single lantern provided a flickering golden glow as the moon’s pale beams provided the rest of the light. And, in the center was a wishing well, one that was currently being looked into by Kris. Silhouetted in the moonlight, they almost didn’t look real. He was starting to think they really were some kind of child of the Fair Folk. A changeling of sorts. They undoubtedly were tricksterish enough to be one.

Oh, how he wanted to be angry with them. For avoiding him all night and making him worry, for running off when he wanted to thank them. But any fury that burned within him vanished as they turned around to face him. Silent as ever, they shifted their mask to the side.

Uncovering the half-smile tugging on their lips as glee danced in their eyes. Quirking a brow, they bowed before uttering the first words Ralsei had heard from them in weeks. “I take it you liked my gift, your highness?”

That’s just not fair.

A blend of euphoria, delight, and fondness surged inside of him. Building and building until he felt lighter than air. The only thing he could think to do was dash across the courtyard and throw his arms around them. Pressing his face into their caped shoulders as thanks fell from his lips. But instead of feeling their arms wrap around him, he felt them go stiff.

Pulling back, he could now see how their arms had froze, hovering in the air, stiff, awkward. Unsure of what they were supposed to be doing. Worried that he overstepped, he asked, “D-do you not like hugs? You hadn’t mentioned it when we were signing the contract.”

“No, no. It’s just that, ah,” Kris stammered, a hint of nervousness in their voice as they took a step back. “Not so sudden a-and tight.”

“Duly noted.” He said, tucking his hands behind his back. If only to resist the urge to reach out for them as they began to saunter around the wishing well. “Thank you for the gift, by the way. It’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever gotten me.”

“Really? Guess the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach after all.” They mused, running a gauntleted finger along the edges of the well. Then, with a laugh and a wry smile, they said, “If only you’re admirers knew you were so easy to win over.”

“Oh, yes, my legions of suitors.” He said, his scarcely used skill of acerbic wit coming out in full force as he motioned to all of his invisible admirers. “Poor things. Never stood a chance.”

“Hey, you joke, but I’ve been on Twitter, okay. Seen some shit.”

“Regardless of my handful of stans on Twitter,” He said as he began to follow Kris about the well counter-clockwise. Ducking and craning his head around the well’s bucket, roof and pickets to keep as much of them in his sights. “I’m still grateful of your gift. Did you bake them yourself?”

“Nah, I was due for a visit back home.”

Hold on. Back home? Ralsei stopped dead in his endless rounds. Kris did as well, pausing in the middle of one of their unhurried strides to lean back and peer around the well with a raised brow. He asked, “You’re mother made them?”

“Wrote the recipe, too. Figured it was high time you had a copy. And, you know, nothing beats parent made food. But it was no big deal. Didn’t someone get you an antique tea set?” They said with a simple shrug.

Sure, Ralsei had to agree. He’d give anything to taste his mother’s cooking or his father’s baking again. But he couldn’t wrap his head around how Kris thought a tea set could compare. It’s not like they went to a random bakery in Glendale a picked up a dozen chocolate chip muffins. “Isn’t your hometown in Oregon?”

“Accurate.”

“Did you at least take a plane?”

“Nope, drove.”

For the love of—“Kris, please tell me you live in southern Oregon.”

“Nah, we’re kinda near Salem.”

There was a single beat, one spent mentally calculating distances and time frames, before Ralsei erupted. “That’s like a fourteen-hour drive!”

“I needed to visit anyways. Don’t get your horns in a twist.” They said, sticking out a single finger to boop his nose before heading downwards to ruffle his cloak. “Nice. Green’s your colour.”

With a dramatic, exasperated sigh, Ralsei allowed Kris to change the subject. But not without noting to himself that his gift for their nineteenth birthday had to be just as meaningful.

“Thanks, yours is lovely too. Your whole ensemble is gorgeous. When I’m not seeing the back of it.” He said as he turned on his heel and began to circle the well clockwise. More than a bit chuffed when, with a quick glance back, he saw Kris following him around. “Why did you make me run after you, oh, SilentKnight? In fact, why have you been avoiding me all evening?”

“Come on, Prince. You have to admit our moment out there wouldn’t’ve had the same kick, if everyone had seen us chatting all night. Don’t feel too bad, I’d been avoiding everyone.”

He stilled, looking across the well. “How?”

“Did you know this place has a dungeon?” They countered.

“Kris, please, dear Darkness, tell me that you did not spend hours lurking in a cold, dark dungeon.”

Their eyebrows raised up underneath their bangs as they took a step back. A hand clutching their chest and a shocked expression that couldn’t hide their puckish smile. “You want me to lie to you? My Prince? I could never, I’d have to forsake my vows to the crown.”

Shoving his face into his hands, he groaned. This Human really was going to be the death of him. “For how long?”

“Couple ’a hours. Worry not, your head, your highness. There was plenty of moss down there. Tasty too—”

“Kris! Not the point!”

Throwing their arms in the air, clearly confused about why he was freaking out about this. “It was for the reveal!”

“You’re not the Phantom of the bloody Opera!”

“Why can’t I be?”

“Because,” He began, crossing his arms as he let out a huff. “I simply refuse to be Christine.”

“You’re a soprano, aren’t you?”

“Countertenor, actually.” He said with a bit of a proud smile. “What about you? Do you consider yourself a tenor or contralto?”

“No clue. I’d probably know if I’d join my church’s choir like my brother. He’s a tenor-baritone-ish, I think.” They said as they leaned over the edge of the well, staring into the pitch-black depths. Lost in their own head for a moment. Ralsei made no moves to awaken them from their thoughtful trance. Kris discussed so little of their family. So to hear Kris bring them up was a cause to listen intently. “Dad’s definitely a bass, the man sounds like a subwoofer and when he sings you can feel his voice in your chest. And Mom’s one of those Kelly Clarkson types where it seems like she has a lower range but can hit those soprano notes like it’s nothing. And it’s like, don’t go where I can’t follow, you know?”

“My, my, what a well rounded family,” He said, chuckling. “The perfect four part harmony.”

“Heh, if you could get us in the same room long enough.” Bitterness tinged their voice as they brushed a stray pebble off the rim and into the well’s murky abyss. But as they settled their gaze on him, it soon dissipated. Replaced with, well, he doesn’t exactly know, but it was something much warmer. “We should duet sometime.”

“I’d love nothing more.” He said, perking up at the thought of getting to harmonize with Kris. Over the past few weeks, he’d found himself listening to their songs on TikTok throughout his days and singing along. “Especially since I’d get to hear your voice without any modulations. Don’t get me wrong, your covers are a delight to listen to, but I bet your raw voice is a wonder to hear.”

No thanks to their ducking head and lengthy bangs, Ralsei could see their cheeks flush as they murmured, “I’m sure yours is too.”

“It’s nothing too special.” He said, wrinkling his nose.

Their head shot back up, blush forgotten as their eyes narrowed. “Shut up.”

“There’s a reason I’m not pursing a singing career like other Disney kids.”

“Shame. Not even—” A loud ding rang out, interrupting Kris. Scowling down at their hip, they sighed and pulled their phone out of a hidden pocket. Their face lit up a moment later.

Peeking over their shoulder, he asked, “What’s this now?”

“My surprise for you is ready to go.”

“Surprise?”

“Oh, yeah.” Shifting their mask back into place, they bowed as they offered him a hand. “May I take you back to the ball, your highness?”

Lifting his chin and taking their hand, Ralsei put on his princely voice and said, “You may.” Allowing them to lead him back to the party. Stepping back out into the deck/garden area where everyone was still gathered.

A couple of folks had noticed them reentering the party and began to whisper amongst themselves. His first instinct was to pull away, to go and hide out of sight, but he forced himself to stay put. This is what he wanted. Sneaking back into the party hand and hand after spending prolonged time alone together? If that didn’t start to shift people’s perceptions of him, he’s unsure what would.

Taking a deep breath, ignoring the whispers, he turned and asked, “So, Silent Knight, what’s the surprise?”

“Well, if I told you—” They smirked. Hopping up onto a stone railing, Kris flagged down one of the robotic DJs. The Cap’n in ‘Sweet, Cap’n Cakes,’ he’s pretty sure. Cap’n flashed Kris a thumbs up before turning down the music and grabbing a mic. Looking pleased as punch, Kris hopped back down beside Ralsei. “—It wouldn’t be much of a surprise then, would it?”

Before Ralsei could question them any further, Cap’n got onto the mic. Getting the entire party’s attention and said, “Alright, listen up, ladies, enbies, and gents. These next few jams are special requests in honour of our birthday prince.” A round of applause rang out as everyone pivoted towards Ralsei, prompting him to give a wave. “The requester has since informed us of a super intriguing fact. Sweet?”

“Very intriguing, Cap’n. Were any you aware that our dear Prince was a singer?” Sweet asked. The crowd erupted into a veritable cacophony of shouts of “No, duh” and “Of course.” Chuckling at the guests’ enthusiasm, Sweet went on, “Yes, you’ve likely heard some of his more recent works. But, did you know that his musical debut was on a little album named, what was it, K_K?”

Hang on a moment. Surely they couldn’t be talking about—

“Kidzbop 25, a modern classic,” K_K answered with a dopey smile, his voice airy and a bit ditzy but still ever effective in sealing Ralsei’s fate.

Oh, no. This can’t be happening.

It was when, as the beginning cords of ‘Best Song Ever’ began, he had to come to terms with the fact that, oh yeah, this was absolutely happening. Whether he liked it or not.

Oh, Darkness, this might be the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to him in… well, ever. He had hoped that none of his time working for Kidz Bop would ever be unearthed. Like the “Cross his claws and pray to the Dark Fountain” kind of hoping. Because who the hell proudly says that they were a Kidz Bop kid? You don’t see Zendaya going around screaming it from the rooftops. So this? This might be his worst nightmare.

Adrenaline spiked in his veins, sending his heart racing. He wasn’t sure which one he wanted to do more; let out a scream or run and hide? Which was more appropriate? You know what, don’t answer that. Not like it mattered much anyway. His body had gone and froze on him, his shoulders drawn up high and tight while his feet felt like they were rooted into the ground.

But before mortification could devour him whole as his pre-pubescent voice hit his ears, he felt Kris shift. Leaving his side.

Taking slow, sauntering steps forwards before they turned and held out a hand. “Come on. It’s your birthday, have a little fun.” They said, and despite only seeing their eyes, he knew they had a roguish look on their face. “Don’t make me dance alone, your highness.”

The tension in his shoulders eased as he glanced around and saw all of his guests having fun. Laughing as they danced along to the beat, but it wasn’t in a mocking sort of way. No, they all seemed to be relishing in it for what it was. Something silly and foolish that made them feel like a tween again.

Well, if everyone else was enjoying themselves, perhaps, just for a moment, he could join in.

“Well, when you put it like that.” Hesitantly, he placed his paw in Kris’ hand, sharing a smile with them before being yanked into the middle of the mass of dancing Humans and Monsters.

Following them deeper into the throng of bopping bodies until they were right in the middle of it all. For a few moments, they stood as still as they could. Letting themselves get carried away. The undulating movements of the crowd were so much like rolling waves when he was out on his boat. It was all oddly soothing. But Kris wasn’t satisfied getting lost in it all.

Lifting their mask to reveal their face, Kris grinned wide as they began to rock their lithe body to the beat. And above all the din, he could hear them shout, “You said you wouldn’t make me dance alone!”

He… did say that. Rolling his eyes, he reluctantly started to sway along. Which seemed to please Kris to no end, especially when another one of his Kidzbop songs began. Their rendition of Iggy Azalea’s Fancy left much to be desired. Still, it didn’t stop Kris from goading him into properly dancing to the “rap” song. Making sure to punctuate every beat with a different pose and roll of their hips. Reciting the verses off by heart, only to burst out laughing at the ridiculous change in lyrics to make them more family-friendly. Never letting go of Kris’ hand as they partied the night away.

Slowly, bit by bit, all of his worries about embarrassment and shame washed away. Leaving behind a young monster who was having the time of his life.

At some point, they’d run into Susie out on the dancefloor, who, by the way, was Kris’ best friend. Which, had he known earlier, would’ve made his life thousands of times easier. But he couldn’t complain as they all continued to get down and sing their hearts out to the tacky tune. And it wasn’t just the three of them. Susie’s not-girl girl, Noelle, and a strangely haughty blue bird monster named Berdly had joined them too.

But, alas, all good things came to an end and eventually, he had to break away from the chaotic foursome. As the clock struck ten, he remembered his hostly duties of mingling with the rest of the guests. Lest anyone think he was playing favourites. Which he was, by the way.

As the night got later and later, the party began to die down. With each passing minute, more and more guests came up to him to say their goodbyes before heading out. All the while, he did his best not to yawn in their faces. It was way past his usual bedtime, and he wanted nothing more than to fall into a bed and sleep for a thousand years. Falling into a deathlike sleep didn’t sound too bad right now. The one thing you couldn’t say about Sleeping Beauty was that she wasn’t well-rested.

Just as he thought of kicking the rest of the guests out and calling it a night, someone tapped his shoulder. Turning, he couldn’t help the smile that blossomed on his lips at the sight of Kris, even if their mask was back in place. Tamping down on a yawn, he asked, “What’s up?”

“Headin’ out. All my friends got shit to do tomorrow, er, today. Came to tell you. That’s the polite thing to do, right?” They asked with an adorable tilt of their head. “Tell the host that we’re dipping?”

Right, they couldn’t stay here with him forever.

“Yes, quite.” He answered. Pushing off the pillar he was leaning against, he straightened his costume before motioning towards the front of the castle. “May I walk you out?”

“Lead the way.”

Admittedly, the two of them took their sweet time leaving the castle. Walking through the halls at a glacial pace, chatting all the way. That feeling of lightness returned to fill his chest and his head. At first, that weightlessness was nice, but he soon found himself having to fight the urge to take Kris’ hand in his paw. It was right there, so close but practically unreachable. Perplexing, really. He knew, logically, that if he did take Kris’ hand, it would ruin the story they were trying to cultivate. But there was something inside of him that desperately wanted him to bridge that gap.

So, he kept his hands clutched behind his back as they strolled out of the front entrance. Down the front steps, they went and across the winding gravel trail until they reached the front gates that led to the parking lot. It was almost a shock to see all the remaining cars. The year was twenty-twenty-two, not thirteen-twenty-two.

A little less than a foot away from the towering, wrought iron gates, the two of them stopped. Standing side by side, they let the sounds and sensations of night wash over them. Crickets chirped as cars rumbled away on a distant highway. A cool breeze blew past them, blowing a few of the silky locks of Kris’ wig along with it. Such a delicate moment. So fragile yet so all-encompassing.

“I’ll be expecting you over one of these days for that duet,” Kris said quietly as if they, too, were afraid to break the peace. Though, that didn’t stop them from teasing him. “After all, you do know where I live.”

Taking a step closer, Ralsei lifted his chin and asked with an innocent smirk, “Oh, but why can’t you come to me, Silent Knight? You know where I live.”

“Only one of us lives within a gated community—” Not backing down, they took a step closer of their own, their eyes blazing. “—Your highness.”

“Fair enough. Well—”

HONK! HONK! HONK!

The two of them jumped apart at the sudden blaring horn coming from the parking lot. Whipping their heads around just in time to wince as a pair of headlights shone in their eyes.

“Can you two hurry this LARP session up!” So came Susie’s gruff voice as she leaned out the driver’s side window of her beat-up truck on the other side of the gates. “I’m tired, and I wanna go home sometime in this century!”

“Sorry, Susie!” Ralsei squeaked, shielding his eyes from the bright rays. Turning back to Kris, he shot them a smile. “I suppose this is it. Thank you again for coming, Kris.”

But they didn’t take his paw when he offered it. No, instead, in one fluid movement, they took off their mask with one hand, hiding it behind their back, as their other lightly snatched his paw.

“Pleasure’s all mine, your highness.” Their ruby-red gaze was trained on him as they leaned down and brought his paw up to their lips. Pressing a kiss into the center of it before returning it to his side. Then, with a hint of a smirk, they said, “Farewell, Prince.”

And with a swish of their cape, they were gone through the gates and into the truck. Before he knew it, that was gone too.

Cradling the paw Kris kissed up to his chest, his soul racing just beneath it, he had to wonder.

What had he gotten himself into?

Well, hello there! Thanks for making it to the end of another chapter. I hope this one was worth the wait! Poor Ralsei's beginning to catch feelings, the nerd. Don't worry. Kris will be well on their way to falling for our fluffy boy too. But it might take them a while longer to admit it. In due time, folks. The next chapter, though, will be slightly more chaotic than this one, if you catch my drift.

That's all for now. Thank you again for reading. I will see all y'all in the next update.

Later Days!

< PREV CHP | NEXT CHP > | CHP INDEX

#kralsei #kris dreemurr #ralsei #deltarune #fanfic #krisei #kris x ralsei #i like me better (when i'm with you) tag #Suprise!!!#I updated!!!!

11 notes · View notes

alternateafterthought · 4 years

Text

Arcane - Part 11

Ø Meaning: Secret, Mysterious, Understood only by few. MAGIC

Ø Pairing: Panther Hybrid Min Yoongi x Reader

Ø Summary: Some secrets are kept for the good of people. Some secrets are kept for abuse or power. Yoongi had been a victim of abuse and power, and he wasn’t going to let anyone else use secrets for that purpose. So, when Y/N comes into his life with secrets, he doesn’t want to fall into that rabbit hole again. He doesn’t want to give all his trust to someone who will abuse their power over him. But maybe Y/N’s secrets are a good thing.

Ø Genre: Hybrid!au, fluff, angst, eventual smut

Ø Warnings: I know in the last part I warned that it was more intense this part but I somehow left that out and wrote it in a way that it isn’t bad, Of course dealing with this subject there is a small trigger warning... What the character did is not right, and no one should ever have to be put through something like this!! Stay safe out there!

Ø Word Count: 1625

Ø A/N: Hey guys… here is the next part of my Min Yoongi fic!! I am back with another part of Arcane!! It has been so long since I posted anything or written anything so I really hope you all like this part and understand that sometimes I just don’t have inspiration to keep writing!! So, I really hope you guys love and support this fic like you did with GOLDEN TIME!! If you want to be added to a tag list, message me or leave a comment or ask!! I would love and appreciate your feedback!! Thank you so much

PREV / NEXT

Y/N couldn’t concentrate.

She wouldn’t lie to anyone and say that she was interested in the paperwork in front of her. In actuality, she couldn’t tell anyone who asked what it was she was supposed to be concentrating on. Her mind was completely preoccupied with the events of her tragic and questionable weekend.

Monday mornings were always hard, coming off a good weekend. Try a Monday morning coming off a horrible weekend. It was currently 11:02 on Thursday after the horrible weekend and no amount of coffee, even the 8 cups Y/N had been through since 5am when she woke up, or distractions would take her mind off of her Hybrid at home.

Said hybrid had been hiding, completely avoiding the outside world, more importantly avoiding Y/N, for days now. Saturday, Sunday, Monday, all the way until today being Thursday and Yoongi still hadn’t come out of hiding.

Every morning Y/N would knock three times on Yoongi’s door, letting him know she was there. She’d leave him a tray of food outside his door before leaving for work, texting him routinely through the day at 11am, 1pm, 4pm just before she would return home to what was pretty much an empty house. It was always so cold, all the lights were always off, no heat, no Yoongi at the door to greet her home.

Every afternoon Y/N would hang her coat and bag, walk to the hall, and see that the tray off food she’d left in the morning had been completely untouched. It was concerning, Y/N didn’t know if Yoongi was eating or not, and from the looks of the cold, untouched food, it didn’t look like he was.

After taking the food back to the kitchen and throwing it out, Y/N would start to fix dinner for the both of them. Leaving a tray at Yoongi’s door before going back and sitting by herself at the table, hoping that maybe Yoongi would join her.

He never did.

And she could blame no one except herself.

Y/N was supposed to help him, protect him. She had promised that no harm would ever come to him. And yet, she was the reason that he completely hid from her, from the world.

She could see it as if it were happening in the moment. Pushing open the door, seeing Yoongi laying on the bed, arms up, eyes wide, begging for help. She could see Hye-Jin looking annoyed as Y/N stood in the door, straddling Yoongi’s waist.

Y/N would never forget the panic that flashed through Yoongi’s eyes, even as Y/N acted. Y/N didn’t waste any time in pulling Hye-Jin off of Yoongi, not saying anything as she threw the girl out of her house, slamming the door in her surprised face as she raced back to Yoongi’s room. She wanted to check on him, make sure he was okay, reach out to him.

But when she finally got back to his door, it was shut, closed off from the world.

Y/N was pulled out of her constant worrying by the ringing of her phone. Shaking her head, she looked at the caller ID, not recognizing the number.

“Hello?” Y/N spoke into her phone, thanking the fact that her office door was closed.

“Hello? Miss Y/N?” A familiar voice asked, though Y/N couldn’t place it.

“This is her? May I ask who this is?”

“Miss Y/N, it’s Jung Hoseok, from HOPE Sanctuary.” The voice cheerfully answered.

“Oh, J-Hope, right?” Y/N smiled widely at the memory of the man who helped her to adopt the hybrid currently hiding from her

“Yes. How are you? How’s Yoongi?”

The question was a dangerous one. How could Y/N explain to the man that had entrusted one of his friends to her, that she had completely and totally fucked up? She didn’t like the thought of lying to him, didn’t like the position she was already in, but how could she tell him what had happened? How could she tell him she was probably the worst thing that could happen to Yoongi?

“Y/N? Are you still there?” J-Hope asked.

“Oh yes, I’m still here.” Y/N forced a laughed. “Sorry just a lot on my mind with work. But I’m good, Yoongi is good.”

“Well that’s good to hear.”

Y/N could hear movement in the back of the phone call, J-hope wasn’t alone, and she could guess just how many were there. 5 hybrids missing their panther and a human who was so much better equip to this job then she was.

“Hyung, ask her…” Y/N heard a small, muffled voice.

“It would seem I have some impatient hybrids with me.” J-Hope’s cheerful voice came through with a laugh. “But they were wondering if that offer still stood? If they were able to come and visit their Yoongi Hyung?”

“Hey, I’m his Hyung!” Y/N heard a protest coming from behind J-Hope.

“Of course, you can.” Y/N heard herself saying without missing a beat. “I’m sure Yoongi would love a visit from you all.”

“Really?” Someone else spoke, seeming to have taken the phone off J-Hope. “We can come visit?”

“Of course, you can visit.” Y/N really just couldn’t stop herself, anything that will ease Yoongi would be welcomed. “I know Yoongi has been thinking about you guys. I was actually going to offer Yoongi if he would like a trip back to the city to see you all.”

“Oh perfect. It seems I have good timing.” J-Hope’s voice was a little distant from the phone, meaning the phone was on speaker now. “When would be the best time for us to come down?”

“You can come down any time you’re ready to.” Y/N moved around some paperwork, looking for her journal.

“We could fly in tomorrow afternoon?” J-Hope proposed, she could feel the nerves of them all.

“Perfect.” Y/N wrote a little note into her journal, noting they would be here. “I’ll clear out the other rooms for you all tonight. Will you be coming with them J-hope?”

“If it’s not too much trouble? I would like to be with them?”

“Of course.” Y/N hoped she could talk to Yoongi tonight. “I’ll make sure to have lots of food ready for you all. I know Yoongi will be happy.”

A cheer rang through the phone, letting Y/N know they were excited for the chance of a trip. She would just hope that Yoongi would be excited to see his brothers after nearly 2 months.

“We should let you get back to work now Y/N.” J-Hope seemed to have finally taken the phone back, placing it to his ear. “I’ll text you the details of a flight, so you know when to expect us.”

“Sounds good.” Y/N smiled, nodding. “I’ll see you all soon.”

“See you tomorrow, Y/N.”

Finally hanging up, Y/N let out a deep sigh, her head in her hands on the desk in front of her. She didn’t know what to do, she had a problem to solve at home with Yoongi and now his brothers were coming to see him. Finally sitting back up she pushed her hair out of her face, picking up her phone and ringing the familiar number, only for it to ring out.

Said hybrid sat in his room, staring at his phone as Y/N’s name lit up the screen in his pitch-black darkness. It’s not like the darkness actually affected him anyway, but still it was dark. Dark enough that he knew if Y/N was home and had walked through his door, like the many times he’s hoped she would in the past week, she’d have tripped.

Yoongi would never straight up admit it, but he seriously missed Y/N. He knew it was his own doing, hiding himself away from her after what someone else did. But he couldn’t help but feel betrayed that she had let someone like that into his territory.

She had to know. Yoongi couldn’t help but think that Y/N had to know that he wanted to do nothing but protect his territory, and that meant her as well. He just wanted to protect the woman who gave him a change, but she was the one bringing dangers into his territory.

He couldn’t exactly forget it, what that girl felt like pressed against him. Yoongi could never really forget the pure look of lust in her eyes as he tried to get away from her. She had stalk him as if he were the prey and she were the predator, she had used his past against him, and it had won.

He would truly never be able to forgive himself for falling, failing to stop himself from feeling sorry for himself. He already knew that hiding and curling in on himself was wrong, and yet here he was, lying in the dark, staring at a black screen, hoping, praying for Y/N to reach out to him.

They were truly words that would haunt him, words that were whispered into his ear. Words that he had buried deep within his mind and now…

“Your just a pet… this is what your made for.”

“She’ll never please you the way I will.”

“Come on, this is what we got you for.”

“She’ll never love you.”

Again, and again. It was like a broken record playing for his downfall.

Hye-Jin’s words weren’t the first to tell him that, they were a constant in the last few homes he had been in. He just never thought they’d be words he heard while here with Y/N.

Now he just stared at the screen as it lit up again with Y/N’s name. He couldn’t bring himself to answer it, couldn’t bring himself to hear the broken words leave her mouth as he tried to call for him.

PREV / NEXT

Tag List

174 notes · View notes

guiltridden · 3 years

Text

𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖍𝖊𝖊𝖙.

𝖇𝖆𝖘𝖎𝖈𝖘 .

full name. James Sunderland

nicknames / aliases. N / A

size. 5′11″

age. 29

zodiac. Gemini

spoken languages. English US

𝖕𝖍𝖞𝖘𝖎𝖈𝖆𝖑 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖎𝖈𝖘 .

hair colour. Blond

eye colour. Light green

skin tone. Pale white ( scarcely leaves the house )

body type. Average / slim

tattoos. N / A

birthmarks. N / A

most noticeable features. James lacks a particularly striking appearance, he blends into a crowd easily. His most notable traits would most likely be his sharp, distinctive nose or how pale he is due to Depression & stress - related health problems

𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖑𝖉𝖍𝖔𝖔𝖉 .

place of birth. Ashfield, Massachusetts

siblings. N / A

parents. Frank Sunderland ( father ), and a mother who is out of the picture

𝖆𝖉𝖚𝖑𝖙 𝖑𝖎𝖋𝖊 .

occupation. Convenience store clerk ( prev. )

current residence(s). Ashfield / verse dependent

close friends. Mary ( prev. )

relationship status. Widower

financial status. Minimum wage

driver’s license. Yes

criminal record. Guilty of unauthorized Euthanasia, not convicted

vices. Not an alcoholic, but has a tendency to drink heavily and become violent ( after Mary’s diagnosis )

𝖘𝖊𝖝 & 𝖗𝖔𝖒𝖆𝖓𝖈𝖊 .

sexual orientation. Heterosexual

preferred sexual role. N / A, however closer to dominant but not exclusively.

libido. High, prior to severe Depression

turn-ons. Most vanilla / assumed turn - ons, loyalty & monogamous dedication, kindness, impulsive and unexpected romanticism, feminine perfumes

turn-offs. Cruelty, extensive vulgarity, hard kinks, pain ( giving or receiving ), degradation ( giving or receiving )

relationship tendencies. Fiercely loyal and will see only his object of affection, as both his lover and best friend, which is exactly who Mary was to him. He is introverted and occasionally stern but is deeply attentive, sweet, and loving. Can and will get possessive but to no malicious definition. If he is grouchy, he will often do everything possible to make up for his negativity. James doesn’t understand certain behaviors and will become confused by this but will listen intently to try to show compassion and understanding

𝖒𝖎𝖘𝖈𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖆𝖓𝖊𝖔𝖚𝖘 .

hobbies to pass time. Indoor activities such as reading, movies, shows, gaming ( modern verses ), he’s a bit of a couch potato

mental illnesses. Severe Depression, severe generalized & social Anxiety, PTSD, Psychosis, Avoidant Personality Disorder

self-confidence level. Scraping the absolute bottom of the void barrel. He lacks any semblance of self - confidence

TAKEN FROM : @hallucineugenics

TAGGING : @morbidculprit & you !

#𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 ╱ headcanon.#𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙜 ╱ queue.

7 notes · View notes

tooruluv · 4 years

Text

Tooru Oikawa x F!Reader ( part 5 )

❝ my love for him is much like winter, a skeleton for the world to see. too bad he never liked the cold. ❞

description: being the neighbor and lifelong best friend of tooru oikawa definitely had it’s perks. you were never an outcast, always had a seat at lunch, got into volleyball games for free. the problem was, however, that being in love with him outweighed those perks. you would never tell him that, though, even if it hurt like hell.

genre: best friends to lovers, angst, unrequited love, fluff if you squint hard enough

word count: 1,916

warnings/notes: what if i just said “fuck the schedule”? anyway this one is a bit shorter so i’ve decided to post it early! some warnings: underage drinking (per usual), angst (per usual), and strong language (are we surprised?). enjoy, my loves.

tag list: @afuckingunicornn @maii-flowers @clandestinerays @brownandchill @readeretal @wedojustbevibin @shigarakiskitten @shittykawaa

prev | next

For the first time ever, you didn’t meet the boys in the back after the game. For the first time ever, you just gave them a wave from the bleachers and left. For the first time ever, you didn’t congratulate them on a win.

It felt off. Oikawa never sent you a look, either; never stole a glance.

Sana met you outside (she was one of the girls who crowded the boys on the court after). She was smiling and cheerful and bright, as usual.

“That game was amazing!” She exclaimed as you began walking. “You wore the jersey! I didn’t find you in the crowd, I really tried! I only found you after the game ended.” She paused, but didn’t stop walking beside you. “Where are we going? Don’t you live next to Tooru..?”

“We’re getting alcohol.” You told her. “I’m not feeling myself tonight and would love to get a drink.”

“Oh, even better.”

The Sakanoshita Store was still open, neon lights still burning in the setting sun. It wasn’t too far, just a little out of the way, and Sana never complained once.

“Hello, my darling Keishin!” You greeted the man behind the counter.

“You brought a friend this time.” He stated simply. His paper was still high in front of his face, the smoke of his cigarette hovering above it.

“I did. She’s cool, don’t worry.” You placed a pack of wine coolers, hard lemonade, and a bottle of vodka on the counter. “We’re having girls’ night.”

“Looks like it.”

He set the paper down as he placed your drinks in a black bag and took your money. Always with the fast exchanges. You grabbed the bag.

“Now get out.”

“Adore you too!”

It was you who linked your arm through Sana’s, this time, as you left.

You had Tetsurou Kuroo’s number.

He offered it to you, along with his friendship, at the game as he scratched the back of his neck and did his best to pretend he flirted with girls all the time. You thought it was cute.

“Here’s my number. Text or call it sometime.” He had told you confidently, but then let the façade fall. “Or not. That’s fine too. Also, please don’t call me. I don’t answer calls from numbers I don’t know.”

You chuckled, and finally sat up from your slouched position on the bleacher. “Are you sure you want to give your number to a girl from a school you’re up against?”

“Yes, I’m sure. She happens to be cool.”

You raised a brow. “You don’t know her that well.”

“I know that she’s still talking to me while she’s pissed as fuck. And that she’s funny, and that she didn’t care that I was scouting from another school.” He told you. “I say that’s pretty cool.”

“She might have to text you, then.”

But as you walked with Sana to your house, you didn’t know if you were going to. You didn’t want him to expect a relationship, not when your heart clearly belonged to someone else. But if he was only looking for a friend.. maybe. You didn’t know. You were confused.

It scrambled your mind as you just focused on getting home and hanging out with the girl who was dating the man you love.

Iwaizumi hadn’t expected you to be waiting in your normal spot after the game. He knew that you mainly did that to walk home with Oikawa. Still, it was odd to come out to emptiness.

He was adjusting his bag on his shoulder when Oikawa came out of the door. Iwaizumi noticed that he looked disappointed for a moment, just a flash of emotion across his best friend’s face that he wouldn’t have caught if he didn’t know him as well as he did.

They started walking in silence.

Until, “Hey, Iwa.”

“Hi.”

“Is she mad at me?”

A pause. They didn’t need to define who “she” was.

“I’m not the one who needs to answer that.” Iwaizumi didn’t look at him, frustration heavy on his shoulders. “You almost kissed her and then told her that there was nothing to talk about.”

“She told you about that?”

“She tells me everything.”

“Oh.”

Oikawa sounded sad. Or defeated, to use a better term. Iwaizumi almost felt bad for him. He had no idea. Oikawa had no idea how hurt you had been, how much love you held for that man. He had no idea how much the little things he did affected you.

“She isn’t mad at you.” Iwaizumi finally told him, catching Oikawa’s attention. “She just… she just doesn’t understand. Why you’re not talking to her, keeping secrets. It never used to be like that between you two before.”

Another pause. “I couldn’t tell her.”

“Hm?” He didn’t hear Oikawa, his response nearly a mumble.

“I couldn’t tell her. I don’t know why, but I couldn’t tell her. About me and Sana.” Oikawa was staring at the stars, like they would give him some answer that he was searching for. “I only got together with Sana at the party, made it official or whatever. I was going to tell her that morning, but then I almost fucking kissed her. And now whenever I see her I think of the fact that I was so close to kissing her, and I can’t bring it up to Sana because what asshole makes it official with his girlfriend and then almost kisses another girl the next morning?” He took a breath.

“You’re not an asshole.” Iwaizumi looked at the boy beside him. “But ignoring your best friend because of something that didn’t even happen is a dick move. She misses you.”

A sarcastic laugh.

“I’m being serious.” He stopped in front of Oikawa’s house. “You’re confused, and that’s fine, but she’s even more confused. She’s not mad at you.”

“Are you dating?”

The question was so out of nowhere, Iwaizumi had to look around to figure out where it came from.

“Oh, you brilliant asshole.”

“You guys have been spending so much time together, and I always feel like I’m interrupting something whenever you two are talking, and…”

“I’m going to stop you there.” He placed a hand on Oikawa’s shoulder. “Me and her? Never dated, not dating, and never going to date. She’s not my type.”

God, he wanted to just scream from the rooftops at the two of them. Wanted to just tell him that you were in love with him, wanted him to know why you were as broken by this as you were. Hajime Iwaizumi was a lot of things, but being a dick was not one of them. He would never.

“Not your type..?”

He took his hand off of his shoulder, patting it twice before turning to walk towards his house. “She’s not my type. Besides, I’ve been dating Matsukawa for months.”

Six shots in and three wine coolers, and you were laying upside down on your desk chair. Sana sat on your bed, back against the wall and a giggling mess. The entire night had consisted of telling stories, asking each other questions, and getting to know each other. It was extremely fun.

“I met a boy tonight.” You spilled to her, giggling a little.

“A boy?” Sana leaned forward, cup still in hand and intrigue in her eyes. “You met a boy? Did you get his number?”

“Yeah, but..”

“You have to go for it!”

“I don’t know, it’s weird.”

“Oh no, was he weird?”

“No, he was super cool.” You smiled at the thought. “And super smart too. Came scouting from another school. The thing is, I’ve kind of had a thing for another guy for a while, and it’s weird to think of someone else in that way.”

Subtle. You didn’t care.

“The guy you’ve had a thing for, does he have a thing for you?” Sana didn’t ask you who, or pressure it. You liked her.

“No.”

“Then go for the boy you met today! You deserve a boy who likes you like you like him. Besides,” she motions to you. “You’re sexy as fuck. Any man who doesn’t have a thing for you is crazy.”

“I know you’re not the one telling me that.”

“Hand me your phone.”

You spun in the chair to sit upright, giving her your phone. She sat her cup on the floor as her glossy eyes scanned the device.

“The boy in question’s name?”

“Kuroo.”

“Mm, spell it.” Sana started typing as you told her the characters. A final tap. “There you go. The start of something new.”

She handed your phone back to you, and you looked at what she did. A simple text to Kuroo, a simple “hey! it’s the cute girl from the game ;D”.

Sana chugged the rest of her drink. “Oh! Oh my god, if you guys end up becoming a couple you can go on double dates with me and Tooru!! Oh, please let that happen I’ve been dying…”

You didn’t really pay attention as you watched the three little dots pop up. Kuroo was typing.

You never got hangovers. It was something you pride yourself in. Turns out, neither did Sana. Which is how you ended up where you were: fully dressed, hair and a little bit of makeup on (curtesy of Sana), and two bags in your arms at the mall before noon.

“Did he text? Did he?” Sana begged, head over your shoulder.

Kuroo and you had texted the majority of the night. Some of which were blurry, as you were pretty drunk for most of it (and he knew that, and reminded you to drink water but only if that doesn’t consist of walking down stairs).

And, this morning, decided to accept your invitation to join you and your friend (yes, you and Sana were considered friends now) at the mall.

You spotted him, sending him a wave to know where you were. He caught your eye and waved back as he navigated through the human traffic. Kuroo was wearing just black jeans and a random red shirt, and you’ve decided that red looks good on him.

“That’s him, the one in the red and the dark hair.” You told Sana.

“Mhm, that’s a man for sure.” She joked, bumping you with her hip when he finally was close enough to talk to.

“Hello, Tetsurou Kuroo.”

“Helllo, cool girl.” He greeted.

“Hope you don’t mind my friend came with me. This is Sana.”

You could’ve sworn that his eyes never left yours until that moment, like you were the only person he could see, and he hadn’t noticed the tall and pretty girl next to you until you brought her up. It made your insides swirl.

He shook his head before greeting her as well. “Hi, Sana. Nice to meet you.”

“Actually, I think I’m going to go shopping at Victoria’s Secret for a minute. I’ll leave you two to it.” She turned to you, sending you a small wink. “Meet me in the food court later?”

“I.. You’re sure?”

She pulled you closer by your arm, whispering into your ear just loud enough for you to hear. “I’m telling you right now that I would rather stare at a brick wall than third wheel for the rest of the day; I can feel his attraction towards you burning in the air. We can hang out tomorrow at school and you can tell me all about it.”

She pulled back, smiling as though she just told you something completely normal. “Nice to meet you, Kuroo. Take care of my girly, okay?”

Kuroo held up his right hand. “I solemnly swear.”

396 notes · View notes