#ah well i'm sure i'll learn more!

[balkanradfem]

What I learned about growing vegetables in the last 3.5 years of doing it:

Squash: it will grow even in poor soil, summer squash will grow even in the worst conditions, winter squash needs a little more care! If you plant them far apart they will grow huge. Winter squash struggles in heat, but will generally survive it and start growing again once it's not too hot.

Peppers: They have to be watered consistently and periodically after being planted outside. Even if you don't water anything else, you have to water peppers, or they will remain small. They will also cross-pollinate and if you plant hot peppers next to non-hot peppers and try to collect the seeds, next year you will have all hot peppers.

Tomatoes: They're the biggest monster plants and they will grow so vigorously and stubbornly I actually have no clue how to stunt or stop these once they're on the open fields. You're supposed to prune them but they get out of hand so fast. If they survive the 'seedling' stage god himself can't kill them. But blight could so if the lower leaves are looking sick and yellow, cut them off.

Beans: Another thing that will grow in poor soil, the most important thing I learned is that the bush variety will produce earlier, and it's a way safer bet to plant them, because if there's a drought, or slug infestation, or whatever the hell happens, bush variety will give you the produce earlier, and you're very likely to get a harvest. Pole beans, or the climbing variety, is capable of growing so much bigger producing much more beans, but does it slower and is at more risk to be attacked or sun-damaged! So plant both, always.

Carrots: I am still not great at carrots! There are many tricks to germinating them, and I always try to sow them early in the spring, then again in the summer, and it will sometims have better results if you put a big plank over the soil after planting them, to keep them from drying out. They really need soft and well-fertilized soil. Also if you plant them in the fall, harvest before the late spring comes because they will start going to seed.

Onions and garlic: Honestly there's no effort in growing these, bulb stuff grows as long as its underground, it's more of a challenge to stop them from growing really. Even if you cut up the tops they'll regrow like some kind of zombies. Beware of onion fly tho that stuff is evil.

Sunflowers: Do Not Let the seeds fall around your garden, they Will take over your Entire Garden and you will be helpless as these monster plants devour your garden space while You feel too Guilty to tear the pretty flowers away from your space. Do Not be Deceived. That's exactly what they Want you To Think. Will stunt your beans if planted close so be careful. Zero effort in growing, will grow in any dirt.

Cabbage and Kale: They need so much fertilizing, or they will just stay sad and small, you have to give them compost, mulch, and water them with some sort of fertilizer tea (you can make that by mixing nettle with water and letting it sit in the sun for 10 days) or you will not get the gorgeous full plant that you want. Also they are frost hardy but if there's not much sun they won't grow very fast in the cold.

Leek: they do not tolerate being grown inside as seedlings, but if you direct sow them every seed will come out I Swear. Can be grown in a bunch in one place then transplanted around later. Onion fly can also mess them up but I have no idea what to do about that.

Parsley and Celery: seems to do better direct-sown than transplanted, needs a lot of seeds to be thrown in order to germinate. I've never tried the root variety but leaf varieties grow very easy.

Potatoes: They're extremely easy to grow, as long as you put the potato underground you've done it, now if you want them to do amazing, you need to plant them in spring while the soil has a lot of water content in it, and you want to keep adding soil/mulch on top of them as they grow, in oder for them to grow more potatoes. I absolutely love growing them in mulch instead of soil! If you dig a hole, put a potato in it, then cover it in hay, or dry leaves, not only it will grow, but you won't have to dig out the potatoes, you can just feel them thru the mulch! 10/10 Love growing in mulch. They still spread their roots into the soil, but the potatoes itself have a good time growing in mulch because it creates no resistance to potatoes getting bigger underneath. Also they like having decent amount of water, if planted in hot times.

Green beans: You need to put 5-6 seeds in one place in order for them to do well, they like having more of their own kind around to create shade and stability, they get easily damaged by the sun so they appreciate being around each other and protecting each other. Bush varieties do best in my climate, but I'm longing for the evasive pole green bean plants, I want to see them tall one day.

Cucumbers: I've only grown this once and all I have to report is that it was very stubborn, grew in poor soil and with no care, kept creating cucumbers long after I've expected it to call it quits, sometimes they grow bitter and it takes a Ritual to make them edible, good for canning tho.

Peas: This is one thing I suck at so don't do what I did – don't take out seeds from hybrid varieties of peas and expect them to grow next year, they will germinate at abysmal rates. I finally bought some heirloom seeds so we will see if my luck changes.

Chives: Absolutely immortal, zombie plant, grows always except when frozen, grows like grass, loves being cut, unlimited onion seasoning exists and its chives, not as sweet as green onions sadly, but I appreciate it's properties of being an endless supply, a woman needs that sometimes.

Spinach and Swiss Chard: Idk if it's just me but I Never know when these are randomly going to go to seed and it drives me Insane. Cannot be relied upon because they all just loooove going to seed whenever sun hits them in a Way. Plant in fall to have some to eat in the spring for 2 weeks until they decide they're ditching you because sunlight now exists.

Basil: Oh, oh, don't get me started, I thought, originally, this plant needs lots of sunlight to succeed and it made Sense! I mean why Not! But then for several years they did badly..? And then, then I find out, basil grows better in Shade! I find this via youtube video randomly! Really?!?! I have planted the forsaken herb in the shade and I'm Watching its Every Move. It's doing fine for now we'll see tho. =_=

[crayonurchin]

It took a very long time for me to enjoy being Asexual, so it's totally fine for me to also take a very long time to enjoy being Demiromantic.

I'd quite like to enjoy it right now, but it's okay. These things don't have to be instant. They just have to be worked on.

[808airsoftbros]

Who's the Bustiest? (Female Idols) (BXG) (S)

Author: This is an idea that I got from Discord and came up with this. Hope you enjoy it and if you want to check out my Masterlist for more fics :)

Y/N's POV

It was my first day of college, I was quite excited as I'd get the opportunity to learn new things, make new friends, and perhaps find love.

But I knew that was all delusional love stories that you see in web dramas although they are entertaining to watch after school.

Anyway, I was on my way to my first class, that was until I heard the loud sounds of footsteps approaching me and I turned around and saw a woman running towards me.

"What the-" I was about to say but it was too late as the girl ran into me.

What was worse was that she was holding a cup of cappuccino and it spilled all over my new Addidas jacket which isn't cheap.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry!" The girl apologized and rushed to get some tissues from her bag.

"Aish... It's okay... Are you hurt?" I checked and she shook her head.

"N-No, but thank you for asking," She answered.

"Oh my Lord, Unnie are you okay?!" Another girl approached and she nodded.

"I-I'm fine, it's my fault! I wasn't looking!" She said and she sighed.

Though my jacket was soaked and stained with coffee, my shirt escaped without a drip of coffee so at least I didn't need to change clothes right now.

"We're so sorry about this, Jisun-Unnie here can be a bit clumsy sometimes, I am Natty, second-year," She introduced herself.

"Oh, I'm Y/N, first year," I replied and she nodded.

"Ah, so you're a freshman, well in that case, welcome to our school," She said and I thanked her.

Taking off my jacket soaked, I tried to squeeze as much coffee out as possible. I was planning to quickly make a run to the dry cleaners on campus but Jisun-Noona and Natty-Noona insisted on cleaning it themselves seeing it was Jisun-Nonna's fault.

At first, I was reluctant to do so as I didn't fully trust them despite them being my sunbaenims but you cannot be too safe.

"It's okay, Y/N, your jacket will be safe with us. Here, I'll give you our numbers as insurance, and I'll text you when it's ready," She suggested and I nodded.

"Sounds fair," I agreed and opened my phone app.

Adding them to my contacts, I thanked them as I handed over my jacket to them, and we went seperate ways to go to our classes.

Heading to my first subject, math, I was greeted by the professor and I greeted her back before taking my seat.

After about ten minutes, the lecture started, and the professor wasted no time getting into the intro to Calculus. Being a math nerd, the lesson wasn't hard and I was able to easily figure it out.

Working on a problem, I felt someone poking my shoulder and I looked to see a beautiful and busty girl poking me to get my attention.

"H-Hey, do you mind helping me with this?" She shyly asked and I nodded.

"Yeah, no prob," I answered and she smiled.

"Thank you! I'm Lee Saerom, second-year, and what about you?" She kindly asked and I introduced myself.

Helping her with the problem, she was amazed at how easily I was able to solve it and I showed her step-by-step on how to solve the formula and find the proper solution.

Most of it was basic Algebra which she wasn't too half bad on but still could use more work if she wants to succeed in the class.

"T-Thank you but I could use your help in the future. Do you mind if we exchange numbers?" She asked and I agreed.

"Sure, why not?" I answered and I input my number.

Adding her to my contacts, I felt lucky at how I managed to get three girl's number... Even though I'm not going out with either of them. Hehe.

After class, was over, the rest of my three classes were uneventful as the professors were introducing their first lessons and shit.

With my day of college over for today, I got a text from Natty saying that my jacket is now ready for pick up and uploaded a photo.

I was shocked at how cleaned it looked as if it just came out of the production line.

I texted Natty that I'd meet her at whatever nearby location, and she texted suggesting to meet her at her dormitory.

"Okay, come to Dorm 321,"

Giving her a thumbs up emoji, I put my phone away in my pocket, and I looked to see three other hot woman coming my way and they do not look happy.

"You! Punk!" One of them pointed at me.

"Me?" I asked and she marched toward me before harshly grabbing my collar.

"Did you hit our friend?!" She angrily asked and I was fucking confused.

"W-What are you talking about?!" I nervously asked as I have no idea what they're accusing me of.

"Liar!" The other woman who also have huge boobs said and I gulped.

It didn't take long for them to beat the shit out of me and I was totally helpless. My arms and legs were sore, and I was left with a black eye.

Fucking hell, what is their damn problem?! I should report them to the police for assault!

Whatever, the police wouldn't believe that a man was beaten up by three busty women so I took a deep breath and decided to let the whole transgression slide.

Despite being injured a bit, I make my way to my Noona's dorm as instructed. Each step I took stung the living shit out of me but I kept going.

"Jeez, this is not how I imagined my first day of college..." I muttered as I painfully make my way into the elevator.

Once the elevator reached the third floor, I got some stares from other students but I ignored them.

Finally arriving at Dorm 312, I didn't see any doorbell so I texted Natty that I'd arrived and she said she'd be there in a few minutes.

Thankfully, I didn't have to wait too long as Natty opened the door with my freshly cleaned jacket in hand and she was horrified to see bruises and scars all over my body and uniform.

"My God! What the hell happened to you?! Did you get into a fight?!" She frantically asked and I shook my head.

"I fell," I lied and she sighed.

"Come on, I'll treat your wounds," She said before stepping aside.

"No! No! It's fine, I'll just go to the nurse's office," I declined but she didn't take "No" as an answer.

Dragging me inside of her dorm making me hiss in pain and she apologized. She helps me take off my shoes and bag before guiding me to the couch to lay down.

"Wait here! I'll get some medicine!" She instructed and I nodded.

Going up the stairs, I take out my phone go through Instagram and watched a few Youtube reels to pass the time.

"The fuck?! Why are you in our dorm?!" I heard a dreaded familiar voice and I looked to see the same girl that jumped me.

"N-Natty dragged me in here!" I pleaded and she scoffed.

"Unlikely story, I guess I need to teach you another lesson!" She said before cracking her knuckles.

Right when she was about to punch me in the gut, she was held back by Jisun and she gave her a confused look.

"J-Jisun, what are you doing?! This psycho is in our house!" She said but she shook her head.

"No, Unnie! He is our friend! He's the one I spilled coffee on!" Jisun explained and her eyes widened in horror.

"O-Oh my... I-I am so so sorry! We completely misunderstood! We thought you tried to kidnap her!" She frantically apologized and I chuckled.

"I-It's okay, Noona, I understand you wanted to protect your friend," I forgave her and she sighed in relief.

"Okay, now that's settled, I am Kim Sejeong and I guess you've already met Jisun. The two others are Kwun Eunbi and Park Jihyo, we are third-year students," She introduced herself.

Coming down the stairs, Natty comes to treat my wounds but we keep our conversation secret so as to not start any conflicts.

"Sorry, Y/N but this might sting a little," She warned before applying the alcohol wipes and I hissed.

"Damn, that's strong..." I muttered.

Finishing up bandaging my arm, it was clear she was a nursing student as she did it professionally and I kinda blushed as her boobs were pressing against my shoulder.

"Alright your right arm should be good, now can you please remove your shirt?" She asked and I blushed.

"U-Uhm, what?" I stuttered and she giggled.

"It's okay, I'm not going to make fun of you," She assured.

"Yeah, it's not like anything we haven't seen before," Eunbi said before sipping a cup of tea.

Reluctantly taking off shirt, Natty goes on to treat the bruises on my chest and stomach.

"Damn, you really did a number on yourself, huh?" She asked and I slowly nodded.

"Haha, yeah..." I replied.

Bandaging and applying cream on my bruises and injuries, I had to remain shirtless for the rest of the day.

After more than an hour, Natty finishes up treating my wounds and I thanked her for her help.

"Don't mention it. You mind as well stay here for the night, besides you can't really move around too much. If you need to use the bathroom or shower, just let me know," She instructed and sighed imagining Natty holding my cock while taking a piss.

"Oh, and don't worry, I had to handle plenty of old man dicks in my nursing school," She assured before winking and I gulped.

"Or maybe I can help you~!" Jihyo flirted and I blushed like a tomato making Natty playfully roll her eyes.

"Oh, Jihyo-Unnie, can you please not? You're going to make the poor kid pass out!" She jokingly said and she laughed her ass off.

Opening the door, I was surprised to see Saerom coming inside and she was just as surprised to see me in the dorm.

"Y/N, what are you doing here? And why are you shirtless....?" She asked and Natty rose an eyebrow.

"You two know each other?" She curiously asked and I shyly nodded.

"We have the same calculus class," I answered and she nodded.

"I see, well, no need for introductions then," She mentioned until we heard someone clearing their throat and we turned to see a big curvy ass woman coming down the stairs and staring down at me.

"Now. Now. What do we have here? Natty what have you brought here?" The woman asked.

"Oh, Unnie, this is Y/N, freshmen, I treated his wounds so he needs to stay in our dorm for the night," She explained.

"Well, Y/N, I am Lee Chaerin the eldest of the group but you may call me CL-Noona if that's easier for you. I'll tolerate your presence here for now but by morning you must leave. Understood?" She asked and I frantically nodded.

"Awww~. Unnie, but I want to play with him~!" Sejeong complained and she rolled her eyes.

"Like how you do with every guy you meet?" CL-Noona rebutted and she pouted.

"B-But this one here is cute!" She replied and she sighed before shaking her head.

She signals everyone to gather around to the kitchen, they talk softly so I couldn't hear their conversation. After about a few more mintues of talking they come to me.

"Okay, Y/N, after much discussion, I've come to an compromise here, I'll allow you to move here to our dormitory," She explained and my eyes widened.

"W-What?!" I exclaimed.

"But under one condition..." She paused and I rose an eyebrow.

"What is that?" I asked.

"You must be our pet, our lover, and do everything we tell you to do. Now, you don't have to accept our terms and leave right now but imagine having seven sexy women taking care of you," She explained and I gulped.

Damn, well she isn't wrong, I've always dreamt of having a harem, and having all these busty woman to myself is something I never thought would happen.

After taking some time to contemplate my decision, I agreed with CL-Noona's term and she smiled along with the girls.

"Yay~! Now I can fu- I mean play with him!" Sejeong cheered.

"W-What was that?" I nervously asked.

"Oh, uhm, nothing, puppy~," She assured before pecking my cheek.

Right afterward, my life took a 360 turn, the girls went to my dorm took all my stuff, and moved them here. I noticed that they've been quite comfortable giving me tight hugs and wearing revealing clothing.

Thankfully, I was able to control myself before CL-Noona beats my ass for being a pervert but I have a feeling they want me to get hard.

"Hey puppy~," Saerom whispered and I turned to look at her.

"Hey, Noona," I replied and she pecked my lips.

"Mind answering a question?" She asked and I nodded.

"Which one of us do you like most?" She straightforwardly asked and I gulped as I didn't know how to answer her question.

"I-I don't know, Noona, I like all of you," I nervously answered and she frowned showing her dissatisfaction.

"Aww~. Come on, baby, I know you must like one of us more... Maybe my boobs might change your mind~," She suggested before taking off her shirt revealing her black-laced bra and I blushed at the sight of her mounds.

Suddenly, the door opened and Jisun gasped at the sight of Searom's half-naked self and she immediately pulled her out.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing?!" Jisun asked and she giggled.

"I just wanted to know if I'm Y/N's favorite~," She answered and she huffed.

"Oh, really~? Then Y/N, what do you think of these babies~?" She teasingly asked as she takes off her tank top and I saw she wasn't wearing a bra.

"H-Hey~! No fair~!" Saerom whined and takes off her bra leaving them half-naked and my dick started get hard.

Seductively approaching me, they each grabbed my arm and threw me onto the bed and they smothered my face with their massive tits and they giggled.

"He's so cute when flustered~," Saerom complimented before pressing my face into her tits.

"Yeah, but mines are bigger so I can make him more flustered, watch," She proved and smashed her mounds onto my face and I blushed harder making Saerom-Noona scoff.

"What is going on here?" Natty asked as she walked inside with Sejeong and was shocked.

"Ah, you horny girls, why didn't you invite me?" Sejeong complained.

"Well, you can always join us, let's see which one of us has the bigger boobs," Saerom proposed.

"Oh, you're on!" Natty and Sejeong accepted and joined us on the bed.

Sejeong takes off her shirt showing no bra while Natty takes off her hoodie and she wasn't wearing a bra either. Guess girls don't wear bras at home.

Of course, it didn't take long for Jihyo and Eunbi-Noona to join us as well and my God they have some of the biggest boobs I've ever seen in my life.

"Okay, now that we're here... Baby, which pair of boobs do you like best~?" Jihyo-Noona asked before licking her lips.

"U-Uhhhh..." I muttered.

"Come on baby, which one of us?" Jisun whispered in my ear sending chills down my spine.

"I-I cannot choose!" I answered and they sighed.

Suddenly, the door busts open revealing CL and the girls gasped as the eldest walked inside only wearing a white bathrobe. She looks down at each and one of us.

"Girls~. Girls~. Let us remember that each and one of us has a special place in our puppy's heart so it doesn't matter how big our boobs and asses may be. Our puppy will still be loyal to us, isn't that right~?" She asked and I frantically nodded.

"Y-Yes, mummy," I answered and she giggled.

"Good, now let us all enjoy him, tonight~," She said before sexily smirking and the girls agreed.

Saerom goes to take off shirt while Jihyo takes off my pants and underwear revealing my monster 9-inch cock and they licked their lips like a predator eyeing their prey.

"What a big-sized cock you have, puppy, and it's all for us," CL-Noona complimented and began jerking it off making me moan.

"T-Thank you, mummy," I muttered and she giggled.

Starting with Jihyo, she presses her mounds between my cock and bounces up and down making me moan. Her titties felt soft and smooth adding to the pleasure.

"I-It feels so good, Noona~!" I moaned and she hummed.

Each girl had a turn for about ten minutes until they switched out and I had to hand it over to CL-Noona giving me the best boob job and she wasn't too subtle about not being a virgin.

"All of the men, crave for our bodies baby~. You are really lucky to fuck all of us~," CL-Noona said and I nodded.

"Y-Yes, Mommy ~," I moaned out and she smiled.

After they were finished giving me boob jobs they each gave me a sloppy blow job, the feeling of their warm mouths on my cock and balls felt amazing and I could barely hold myself from cumming but I did my best to please my mummies.

"Such a tasty cock, better than my ex," Jisun complimented.

"I know, right?" Natty replied.

"N-Noonas! I-I'm going to cum!" I warned as I couldn't hold it anymore.

Gathering around my cock, I let out my massive load onto their faces letting out satisfying hums as they taste my cum.

"Cum also tastes amazing, we should do this everynight~," Eunbi suggested and they agreed.

"Now, let's get onto the main event, remember, will all get one round of his cum," CL-Noona instructed.

Going first was Natty and she didn't waste any time slamming her pussy onto my cock letting out a loud moan.

"Aww~. Is our baby a virgin~?" She asked and I slowly nodded.

"Y-Yes..." I shyly answered and she smiled.

"Even better," She replied.

"Good, because from now on, our pussies are the only pussy you're ever going to get~," CL-Noona said.

With Natty riding for me the next half hour, we came together and I filled her womb with my cum.

Next up was Jisun, she inserts my dick into her womanhood as Saerom sat on my face forcing me to lick her pussy.

"Oh fuck~! Good boy~!" Saerom yelped as I insert my tongue inside.

"So big~!" Jisun moaned in ecstasy as she slowly began riding me.

Despite not being experienced, I did my absolute best to please them and so far I'm doing good based on how loudly their moaning.

As soon as I let out my load inside Jisun, Saerom takes her position as Jihyo got on my face with her soaking wet pussy and it tasted like watermelon and I'm a huge fan of fruits.

"Ohhhh~! Puppy, I could ride this dick all day if I wanted to~," She screamed as she inserted my cock inside her womanhood.

"Mmm~. Your tongue feels so good puppy~," Jihyo moaned as I insert my tongue.

"You're doing such a good job so far, puppy~," CL-Noona complimented before giggling.

"Puppy, I'm going cum~! You better drink all of it!" Jihyo warned before squirting in my mouth and I drank all of it.

"I'm going to cum too, baby, I want your sticky cum inside my womb~," Saerom pleaded and we came at the same time.

Jihyo took Saerom's place as soon as she made my dick hard again and I was starting to feel sore and tired as I've came several times.

"Tired already baby~? We haven't gotten to the best part yet~," Jihyo said as she jerked my dick back to life and I gulped.

To my surprise, she gets on all fours shaking her ass signalling me to pound her as hard as I could and I got on my knees before shoving my cock inside her pussy making her loudly moan.

"Oh, you naughty boy, you want me that much~?" She teasingly asked.

"Y-Yes, mummy~!" I answered as I began fucking her.

Going in and out, pounding her as fast and hard as I possibly could, Jihyo could loudly moan as her mind was consumed by pleasure. CL-Noona hugs me from behind pressing her boobs on my back along with Eunbi and Jisun.

"Are you close baby~?" Eunbi asked.

"N-Not yet mommy~!" I replied as I kept fucking Jihyo and she smirked.

"Well, do you want to pound my pussy~? I'm just soaking wet from watching and I want your long and thick cock inside of me~," She whispered in my ear.

Picking up the pace, Jihyo began screaming and came a few times before I painted her womb with my cum and she collapsed on the bed all exhausted and I was panting.

"Good boy~. Now it's my turn now and you better fuck just as well as you fucked Jihyo," Eunbi said and I nodded.

"Hey what about me~?" Sejeong whined and she playfully rolled my eyes.

"Think you can take us both~?" Eunbi asked.

"Anything for you," I replied and she smiled.

With both getting on their knees and elbows, I insert my dick into Eunbi's pussy and insert my finger in Sejeong and switched places, fucking them both at the same time.

"Oh God baby~! So Good~!" Sejeong moaned.

"Mmm~. Keep it up and we may cum soon~!" Eunbi said as I pounded her.

Finishing off into Eunbi's pussy, I put my full attention to Sejeong, I places my hands on her tits and play with them while I pounded her.

"Yes baby, our tits are yours only~," Sejeong moaned.

"Why have any man when you have this obedient puppy's dick?" Jisun mentioned.

About ten minutes later, I unloaded my cum inside of her as she squirted all over my dick and CL-Noona pulls my head forcing me to kiss her.

With her having more experience, she easily dominated me and sucked my tongue and we let go when we ran out of breath.

"Now time to see if you can make me cum~," She said and pushed me onto the bed.

Inserting my dick into her pussy, I was astounded at how fucking tight she was compared to the rest. It felt Godly and I can see why so many guys competed for her but all of them never succeeded in getting close to her.

"Oh my fucking God, puppy, your dick is so good~!" She moaned as she roughly rides me and I moaned.

"Your pussy is so heavenly, mummy~," I replied and she smirked.

Speeding up, she began riding me like an angry bull and I held back all temptations to cum letting her enjoy herself.

"I'm so close to cumming baby~! Let's cum together~!" She screamed and I nodded.

At the same time, we came simultaneously and she collapsed onto my chest before pecking my cheek.

"You did amazing, baby~. I never expected you to be able to handle all of us," She complimented.

"Yeah, you did us so well~," Jihyo said before giving me a long smooch.

"You may consider us your actual girlfriends, baby, but at home, we are your mummies~," Eunbi whispered and I gulped.

The rest of the girls hurdled together and I was smothered in an ocean full of titties and it didn't take long for me to fall asleep.

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Can we get the obey me boys(the brothers + dia, barbs, solomon, and simeon) reacting to mc having severe period cramps? Would they get all demon-y at the smell of blood?

Love your stuff btw!

Signed, a yandere junkie~

I'll do two for now 🖤🖤🖤🖤

Period | Yandere Obey Me

For those in the devildom having a draw for chaos and mortal pain it’s quite normal for blood to bring about a different kind of reaction. But to the surprise of no one period blood and the whole menstrual cycle is a complete bafflement to all who catch a whiff. Don’t worry though, you have the brother and your various friends. This surely won’t strike any of them to have an unusual streak in emotion and self-control, right?:

Lucifer

“It’s that time I’m suspecting?”

“Yes.”

“Understood rest easy, take your time to rest my dear.”

“A-are you sure?”

“Of course I'm sure. Do you doubt my promise to keep you?”

One of the most casual about it 

He absolutely has done research for this exact occasion

But nothing is like experience in taking care of you himself

As well as the compulsion that has him being just as reactive as you

“You seem a bit different today Lucifer…”

“Am I? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oooh is that a gift from (Y/n)--”

“dON’t ToUCh tHaT!” 

“...”

“...”

“Sorry, I don’t know what’s with me this week.”

You’re not with him that’s what

For all the necessities he delivers he’s been keeping his distance

Taking the advice of the human care books he gave you your space

After all who better to deal with the human-female innerworkings than a human-female herself

But something feels wrong more than usual 

And it only seems to stop when he returns to your side at the end of the day

“Perhaps the hormones that are at work in you create a…guardian of sorts…out of me.”

He doesn’t really understand, all he knows is that when you were preparing to go to RAD he frantically calmly decided you’d not be attending

His excuse reasoning? That he would hate for any lesser demon to feel what he’s feeling 

That and he’d actually try to kill anyone who shows such similar inclination to protect you

“If anyone should stay to soothe you in this great time of need. I’m not above massacring any threats to you while you’re at your most vulnerable..” 

Generally he’s quite tame

…compared to his brothers

Diavolo

“Hey (Y/n) why’d you run off like that I thought we were having a good time.”

“Diavolo!?”

“Oh…hey (Y/n) if you’re hurt it’s okay to tell us we have tons of things that help heal humans.”

“Ugh! No that’s not what’s happening here!”

“Don’t be embarrassed here i’ll help!”

“Aghghgh!!!! Barbatos! Barb–Ah! Don’t you dare!”

A scolding and prompt lesson from Barbatos is very much in order

For someone so adamant on urging the blending of their worlds he doesn’t really know about this side of humanity

And unfortunately he’s never been one for backseat learning

“(Y/n), we’ve spoken and Diavolo would like to propose a hands-on-lesson with you about your menstrual cycle.”

“Uhm what kind of lesson?”

“One that will require he familiarize himself with all aspects of this process. Something that would preferably stimulate the five senses.”

“....”

“....”

“....Lucifer!!!! Solomon!!!”

Even better it has to do with you

What better way to strengthen your bond by having to monitor you

Not only for your safety but for all of humanity

“Hey later on we should definitely watch that movie together!”

“Oh yeah I thin–”

“I’m sorry but she cannot!”

“What why not?”

“Because she’s coming with me! The best place for a woman on muenster cycle is with me at the royal palace.”

“Uhm that’s not tr-”

“Here I’ll take you now!” 

He’s going to be hard to teach

But once you sit him down or snap at him one too many times

He’ll decide listening to you is the best course of action

In turn it will definitely build a relationship between you two

It may not be as romantic as he planned

But he’ll take it….for now 

After all there’s one every month

“That was fun! I can’t wait until the next time!”

Because he’s actively testing for it he might find some demons and creatures that react to it

But he won’t actively experiment with you in danger

Because it’s just not a good look to brutally murder every other subject of his that has a reaction he doesn’t like

“Next month I’ll have to convince them to let me get a swab or whole container full that’d be really hot.”

[coolyiooo]

BSD Men Reacting To You saying "I fake my orgasms"

parings: Dazai, Ranpo, Fyodor, Atsushi, and Chuuya

❗Warnings❗: begging, edging, praise, degrade, overstimulating, squirting and more

Summary:You two were in a bit of a small, stupid, argument. And for some reason you thought you'd get back at him if you said "I fake my orgasms" to him.

🖤DAZAI🖤

He looked a bit taken back, it was an out of the blue comment. He just stared at you with wide eyes

"So your telling me you were acting like you were dumb on my cock, to the point you couldn't even form sentences, or think about anything else but my name and my cock?"

You gulped a bit "yes"

He kept staring at you, then he smiled with his eyes closed. He looked very innocent looking

"Hm Then I guess I'm going to have to make it up to you for making you unsatisfied"

He then takes you to the bedroom and rails you like there's no tomorrow. Making you cum again and again. Orgasm after orgasm and he still hasn't stopped. The way this man kissed you, praise you, degrade you, moaned your name, and held you always put you over the edge. He put you in a state where all you could do was form small words and moan.

"Heh~ I knew you were lying bella~ your squeezing me so fucking tightly with your pretty little cunt ah~ mmn~ just tell me you were lying and I promise I'll stop~"

"MMMN~! I- I AAH~ w-was! MMPPH~ P-please AGH~! S-spare m-me!"

"Hmm~ I want a better apology bella~"

"SAMU~ y-your mmn-! The only one who's ever m-made me AGH~! Satisfied! MMM~ Please f-forgive me! Mmmn-! I'm sorry~!"

"Good girl~ as my reward mmn~ I'll bury my cum deep inside you ah~! You'll for sure cum again heh~ I'm sure you don't mind~"

💚RANPO💚

He looked at you with a bit of a worried expression.

"Are you trying to hurt my feelings?..because it's working"

When it comes to you, he cant handle any type of degrading, even if he knows it's not true.

"I know your lying but it still doesn't help that you hurt my feelings!" He said with a bit of tears in his eyes.

"I- I'm sorry! I wasn't thinking!"

"Then make it up to me!"

"H-huh? Well what can I do to make you forgive me?"

He thought for a second and then spoke "I want to see you dumb on my cock from how many times you'll cum on it" he said with a smile.

Later that night. You were jumping on his cock even after a couple orgasms. You and him were both hugging eachother even with you bouncing on his dick. All both of you could do was moan and whimper. He was also in the same state as you were in but he was just a tab bit more stable.

"Mmmn~! you feeling good on my cock, sugar? Ah~! Your so f-fucking wet mph~! from how much you came on my cock~"

You could only respond in whimpers and moans. "Heh~ I forgive you, sweetie~ mmmn~ now let me give you a little cream filling Mph~! as a token of my gratitude~"

💜FYODOR💜

He chuckled "is that your pathetic attempt of getting back at me? If your going to lie you have to make it believable, my love"

"I-"

He grabbed your chin and looked at you with dark eyes "You'll regret saying such a disgusting lie, my dear. I'll have to show you just how horribly wrong you are"

He drags you into the bedroom and makes love to you roughly. It felt so fucking good but Fyodor kept on edging you. No matter how many times you kept apologizing and begging for a release, he wouldn't grant you your wish.Its pathetic but you were crying at this point. You've never felt so desperate.

"P-please Fedya! MMM~! I want to cum! It hurts! AGH~! I need it~!"

He then pulled his cock outside of your quivering cunt. You whimpered loudly.

"Why should I let you have your release? You've misbehaved, and I have to teach you a lesson to never lie to me"

"I p-promise I'll never lie to you! I swear I've learned my lesson, I'll be better. Please just let me cum. I'm sorry, Fedya!" you said, crying from desperation.

Suddenly he kissed your cheek, that was wet from your tears, and began to ram into you, shaking the whole bed. You began moaning loudly, while gripping onto Fyodor's shoulders.

"Mmn~ Then what are you waiting for, my love? Let it all out~"

You didn't waste a single second and came, probably the best orgasm you ever had. You moaned so loud it was basically just screaming. It was such an amazing release, you squirted all over Fyodor. After you calmed down from your high, your body was basically knocked out. Fyodor then kissed your lips gently.

"Thank you, fedya" you whispered before you fell asleep.

💙ATSUSHI💙

His face turned pale like a ghost "a-are.. are you serious?" You could see a bit of tears in his eyes. How could he not? All he ever wanted to do was satisfy you, but knowing he's been failing, he feels useless

Oh no. What have you done? How could you do this to literally the nicest man on earth?

"I- I'm sorry I couldn't be a better man" he said, looking down, almost like a whimper. "I'm sorry I'm not good enough" You immediately hugged him

"NO! Atsushi I was lying! Your more than enough. Your literally perfect!"

He seemed confused "then why did you say that?"

"I just- wasn't thinking...I really was lying. If I'm being honest your the best man I've ever been with"

He felt relieved but he still felt like you were lying, his insecurities getting the better of him. You could tell he wasnt really believing what you were saying.

"How about... I show you just how much you satisfy me?"

You were soon both in the bed. You were being passionate and gentle, giving him so much praise he almost couldn't handle it. You were wrapped up in each other's arms, kissing every inch of the others body. You were both on your sides while facing each other, One of your legs held by his arm to put around his waist. His head on your shoulder being a whimpering mess.

"Mmn~ F-fuck! you make me feel so amazing, Atsushi~ mmnph~! i-im g-gonna cum again"

"Mmmn~! Me too ah! F-fuck! d-dont stop! Please~ I need to feel you cum on my dick again~ mph~! it feel so good~"

It's safe to say he forgives you and knows how much you love him.

🧡CHUUYA🧡

Our beloved man looks so offended. His eyes look so confused but he also looks a bit worried.

"Your kidding, right?"

"Well, what if I told u I wasn't?"

He looked at you with the same expression, then he started to smile, then began to full on laugh. You were confused.

"why are you laughing?"

"You said a joke so I laughed, dollface" he said with a slight smirk.

"Me and you both know I satisfy you very well. No offense darling, but if I didn't satisfy your needs then why do you always come to me, begging for my cock like a whore for a release?"

Now YOU were a bit offended, but it's because you know he's right."Do I really act like that?" You asked a bit embarrassed

He smirks "Hm? Well why don't I prove it to you, doll? So you can see for yourself"

You soon find yourself in your bed with Chuuya railing you, making the bed shake as if it's going to break any second. You were moaning loudly and so was he. Seeing how his hips moved into your pussy, desperate to reach the deepest parts of you to fill his cum into, was so hot.

"I-im gonna Mmmn~! Cum! "

"Then beg for it like you always do, doll~ Ah~! otherwise I won't allow you to~ Mnn~!"

"Please~ Mmn~ I need you to m-make me cum Mph~! it feels so good~ please don't s-stop! Ah~!" You whimpered, a bit embarrassed

"You always beg so beautifully Mph~! It makes me so fucking hard hah~ Go ahead and cum on my dick, darling"

You came on his dick, squeezing him with your pussy tightly. Your loud moaning was music to Chuuya's ears. The scene was so fucking unbearable for him he also came. You were both now breathing heavily, calming down from your highs. After a couple seconds, Chuuya started to pound you again.

"You didn't think we were actually done did you doll~?"

[mordredisacoolname]

BRIDGERTON BROS FALLING FOR A MALE READER

Male reader

HEADCANONS

Characters: Anthony, Benedict, Colin

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anthony

-this boy is in DENIAL

-what do you mean he's in love with a MAN??

-he's so doomed

-you were very tight before

-spent every day together

-he really enjoyed your company, more than anyone, and he didn't understand why

-but when he realized he loved you he started avoiding you like the plug

-you don't understand why

-even tho you made peace with liking men and than fact that you're in love with your best friend, you didn't think he returned the feeling

-so you think you did something wrong

-you try talking to him but every time he finds an excuse to be somewhere else

-he is jealous of every man you talk to

-he doesn't have the right, but he still feels it

-after weeks of avoiding you he realizes the feeling won't go away

-so he with Benedict to a party, and sees you kissing a man

-you mean he has a chance with you???

-he barges to the room, his fist aching to punch the other guy, but he controls that feeling and just orders him to get the fuck out

-you're shocked, both just standing there staring at each other

-anthony steps closer to you starting intensely at your eyes

-"I think..." He doesn't finish the sentence and just kisses you

Benedict

-he first meets you in an art class

-watching your hand gracefully moving the paint brush on the canvas

-his starting is interrupted by lord Granville, asking him why haven't he started sketching

-by the end of the class you compliment him on his painting, making him feel something funny in his chest

-next time you're both in the studio he gathers the courage to talk to you, learning you'll be at the Granville's party next week

-you both meet there and spend the whole night together, you invite him to your studio, just the both of you

-he spends the leading days thinking about you

-"so, you want to pose or should I do it?" You ask him once you've taken out the canvas

-"I'd like to paint you" he saying with a playful twinkle in his eyes

-you settle into the chair in front of the canvas, posing for him

-"you know, I've been wanting to practice some anatomy"

-you understand the hint and take off your top, smiling to yourself

-after he's finished for the day you get up to look at what he did

-"so, what do you think"

-"this is amazing" you tell him

-"well, the muse is all to blame" he gets closer to you, looking briefly at your lips

-"oh sorry, next time I'll make sure to move in my sit and not let you work"

-"I won't be complaining if you were the one distracting me"

-he smirks looking into your eyes

-this waiting is killing you so you lean forward pressing your lips against his

-"we'll see next time" you say and leave him standing alone in the studio, eager for your next session

Colin

-you're a featherington relative visiting your family

-you're the closest to Penelope, always getting along

-you arrive together at the ball, all dressed up

-you're in a middle of a conversation with Pen when a man interrupts you to say hello to Pen

-"oh hello, I haven't seen you before" he looks at you in slight awe

-"I'm Penelope's distant relative, 'name', nice to meet you Mr....?"

-it takes Colin a couple seconds to respond "oh right, I'm Colin bridgerton"

-"the famous bridgerton, what a pleasure"

-"famous? You've heard of me?"

-"of course, Penelope never stops talking about you Mr bridgerton" you smirk at her red face

-"ah, that's nice, I think"

-"well, I shall go speak to other people, enjoy your night, Colin"

-he's absolutely smitten

-your voice, your smile, everything

-he visits the featherington house every day after that night, just to see you

-you talk a couple of time, and once he invites you to play cricket with his brothers

-you have am absolute blast, winning against Colin all the time

-he's usually good at this, but he can't seem to pocus

-except he does focus, just not on the game

-one day you sit together on a bench, watching people pass by

-"I'm returning to my hometown in two days" you suddenly say

-his heart sinks

-"what?"

-"yeah, I don't really see a future here, I thought that I'd find me a...wife, and settle down, but no such luck"

-his mind goes blank, he can't lose you

-he's next day he hurries over to the house, asking for you

-you're in your bedroom reading something when he storms in

-"is everything well Colin?"

-"don't go, stay here"

-"I told you, there's no reas-"

-"stay for me" he tells you before he overthinks it too much

-you're surprised, not because you didn't feel something going on between you, but because he actually said it, you thought it would never happen

-you're kinda relieved Colin presented a reason for you to stay, with him

[reve-writes]

—dense; kaz brekker.

ʚ kaz brekker x reader | grishaverse | 2,2k words. ʚ you're a bit clueless as to why the dirtyhands do the things he does, like call you schatje and pay you to steal something when he clearly doesn't need to. ʚ fluff. ʚ a/n maybe ooc kaz im sorry. more at the end!

Ketterdam is a marvel from afar, a pretty little flower offering promises of its nectar—new life, new opportunities, debauchery—only to catch you in its trap and swallow you whole. All the way up on the clock tower, roughly centralised in the port city, the Barrel is nothing more than bright lights emanating from bar signs and glittering roofs.

The bell rings, reveberating to signal the change of the hour. It's time to work, finally.

Your boots thump as you make your way down the spiraling concrete staircase, paying attention not to step on the chunks flaking off of the edge. Whoever was responsible for building this was clearly cutting cost, the concrete is about as fragile as clay.

A painting. It is an annoying job to do on your own, but your contractor offered a lot of Kruge for it—perhaps too much, but if Mr. Kikkert is willing to scrape his pockets for it, then you're more than happy to accept. It is more Kruge than you would ever need for a while, so you won't have to scrounge for scraps in this Ghezen-forsaken town. Moreover, it's been a while since your last job and you're frankly not doing too well.

You step lightly over the rooftops, hopping from building-to-building with sure, steady steps. You have done this for most of your lives, to avoid being stomped into the vile muck at the bottom of the Barrel, you learned to hide near the skies.

Where the painting is being kept isn't far from the Canal, just on the rows of overpriced apartments for rent. You were told that it was housed on the third floor of the corner building. Everything is going well. Your journey is uninterrupted and the stadwatch aren't on alert.

Until you spot him.

The familiar curve of his black hat. The high collar of his coat. The shining leather of his gloves.

Brekker.

You strut towards him as if you are neighbours crossing paths on your evening walks. When in truth, his Crow Club is on the other side of the town and you never come to this area without reason. You call his name sweetly. His head whips around immediately, finding you in the dwindling foot traffic of the street.

He says your name in a warning tone, suspicious of your being here.

“What? Can't I come and see an old friend?”

Brekker scoffs. “I don't know. Can you, schatje?”

You almost turn around and leave when you hear the term of endearment. He knows it gets under your skin—it always does. Your heart skips a beat or two and your train of thoughts gets interrupted whenever he calls you that. He means it as a jeering nudge and your head is wholly aware of that. Your heart, though. What a fickle little thing.

“A bit of a walk from the club, isn't it?” you say, falling into step next to him as he turns the corner towards the apartment building. “I assume you must be up to something.”

“Ah, but I'm always up to something.”

“I can't say I disagree,” you snort. “You don't happen to have a job around the area, do you?”

He halts, his cane knocking against the stone pathing. He turns to look at you and your elbows brush against each other. “Do you need anything? I have important matters to attend to.”

You bring a hand to your chest exaggeratedly, feigning a frown. “How callous. Call me schatje and throw me aside. Is this how you treat everyone, Kaz?”

“Only you, mijn schatje.”

You roll your eyes, unsure how to behave. Huffing, you say, “Stop calling me that.”

“I was under the impression that you liked the nickname.”

Oh, you do.

“I'll be going now. I've something to do. Stay off my job,” you warn. “You still owe me literal crown jewels from last time.”

Kaz's neutral expression shifts into fond nostalgia as he recalls the incident you're referring to. The crown jewels in question were under dispute by a pair of soon-to-be divorcees. One of them hired the Crows' help. The other called on you. One thing led to another and the item ended up in Kaz's hands and you went home empty-handed.

“I won that fair and square,” Kaz retorts. “Your current job wouldn't involve a certain painting, would it?”

Judging by his smug thin smile, you know that he knows.

“Tell me it isn't what you're here for.” You sigh exasperatedly. “Stay off of it, Brekker. I can't afford to lose another job.”

You think to be threatening, bluff your way out and tell him you'll tear down his Crow Club if he gets in your way, but you doubt it will work against the Dirtyhands. After all, you're one person and he has the whole Dregs behind him.

He looks at you with a raised eyebrow for a moment and for that terrible moment, you think that he may be there for the same reason you are, but he shakes his head lightly. “Fortunately, schatje, no. Stop looking as if you're going to murder me in my sleep.”

An involuntary smile blooms. “I wouldn't dream of it, Kaz.”

“Go on, then,” he says. “Be careful.”

You bite the insides of your cheeks to keep from smiling. “You too.”

With that, you part ways with Dirtyhands, entering the building. Your acquisition of the painting goes smoothly and the deal is closed swiftly a few hours later. It's too easy. You know it is. You're missing something.

Miss something, you did.

You push open the door to the Crow Club carelessly. The loud chatter mixed with atmospheric radio surges to meet you as you push your way past sweat-slicked bodies and drunken patrons. Your eyes dart back-and-forth, trying to spot the familiar curve of his black hat or the shiny glow of the head of his cane.

Jesper spots you from one of the open gambling tables.

“If it isn't my favourite thief,” he says, inclining his glass towards you. “Fancy a game?”

It isn't until you stop by his table that he sees the downward slope of your frown and the sharp glare you're giving. He instinctively sits up straighter, taking his shoes off of the corner of the table.

“Where's Brekker?” You ask, to-the-point, without indulging in your usual chit-chat whenever you visit.

The other three patrons on the table freeze—sensing the tension on your shoulders, too. They look between you and jesper, both confused and intrigued to know more. What is Ketterdam if it doesn't have rumours and secrets whispered about?

Jesper's brow furrow. “Are you okay? What's going on?”

To Jesper's knowledge, you and Kaz are on friendly terms, despite the frequent bickering. Hell, he assumes you're more-than-friendly, with the way Kaz gives you a nickname—an endearment, to be specific. Is it possible that you're going through a lover's spat?

“Brekker, Jesper. Where is he?”

A familiar rasp cuts through the rowdiness. “Here.”

Your head whirls around and you shoot an accusatory stare at the source of the voice. You stomp your boots as you make your way towards him. As you pass by him, you tug on the sleeves of his coat.

“We need to talk.”

“Hold on, schatje,” he says, still trailing after you. His cane knocks against the hardwood of the floor. “About what?”

You make your way up the stairs, to the second floor and swing the door to his office open as if it belongs to you. He has an eyebrow raised when he enters after you, closing the door behind him. He leans back against it, waiting for you to speak whatever it is that's on your mind.

“Kikkert,” you snarl. “You paid him to pay me.”

“That's quite a conclusion. How did you come to it?” His voice is level, not betraying whether or not you've spoken the truth.

You're pacing in front of him. “He says, and I quote, ‘If you're so close to Brekker, why doesn't he ask you himself to do this?'”

His eyes furrow and he runs a hand through his combed hair. He sighs, holding a hand up in a you-caught-me gesture. “Kikkert clearly has no idea what discretion means.”

You glare at him. “Do you think this is funny?”

He seems taken aback. “I don't see why this is a big deal, schatje. It's a job. You're paid. I get the painting. What's wrong with it?”

“Why are you doing this, then? Pay me for something you clearly are able to do yourself? Hell, whose painting was it? Was it yours? Did you pay me to steal from you?”

He doesn't reply, but the way he shifts his gaze away from you let's you know. It's as clear as a verbal admission.

“It was yours. That's why you were there. From your safehouse, wasn't it?” You stare at him in disbelief. “Is this amusing to you? I'm sorry if I don't quite see it as such.”

“Schatje—”

“I told you to stop calling me that.”

You can't wrap your head around Kaz Brekker's thinking process. He pays someone to pay you to steal a painting he already owns. What's his plan in the long run? To embarrass you? Hurt your pride? Is this some sort of ploy to rope you to be indebted to him?

He sighes. “You were struggling. I only wanted to help.”

“Dirtyhands doesn't help people. You don't run gangs the way you do charities,” you retort.

Is that all you see him as? The demjin? The one who's willing to stain his hands for the right price? Is there no other version of him in your eyes?

“You're forgetting the man behind the monster here,” he says softly.

“Am I?” You approach him, leaving a little over two steps in-between the two of you. “Who exactly is the man behind Dirtyhands then?”

He pushes himself off of the door, taking one step forward. The thump of his cane practically echoes in the room. The hustle bustle of the Crow Club is nothing more than a muffled sound. There's a sudden tension in the air—the same one that hangs over you whenever he calls you his schatje, but this one is heavier due to your lack of light-hearted banter to parry.

“Do you really not know?” he asks, as if the question is staring at you in the face. As if it's the most obvious thing in all of Kerch. His stare is heavy, dark irises acting like magnets that pull you in. He scoffs, “You really are dense.”

“Well, enlighten me, Brekker! None of this is making a lot of sense to me.” You let out a frustrated huff of breath. Your hands move wildly to stress your points. “You know what? Whatever it is, I don't want to know. Just — quit doing it. I'll never take another job from Kikkert. I'll stay away from your damned club and all your friends. I'll stay away from you. I'm a capable enough thief without your pity, Brekker. I don't need it. You can shove it up your—”

His gloved hand wraps around your wrist as it's flailing in the air. Your speech immediately comes to a halt and your eyes widen.

“You are impossible,” he says.

You snort. “And you aren't?”

“At the moment, no,” he retorts.

His stare is intense. It isn't until then that you realise you've taken a step forward during your rant, decreasing the perfectly amicable distance and turning it into a heart-thundering one.

“It wasn't pity,” he says. “You're capable, I have never doubted that, but even the most capable ones struggle sometimes. My intention is to help. Trust me on this. I know you're too prideful to accept any, so I paid Kikkert.”

“But why? Why bother?”

“Why?” He blinks, sighing loudly before continuing. “Why? Have you ever stopped and thought, for a moment, that I've been calling you schatje. Do you think that was out of pity?”

You bite the insides of your cheek and shake your head. “It was something else.”

“Has it ever crossed your mind that it's because —ghezen forbid— I may actually harbour fondness for you?”

You blink once, twice. Kaz thinks he much prefers breaking into the ice court than having this conversation right now. His hand trembles when he brings them to brush your cheekbone lightly. He lets out a relieved sigh when you don't pull back. Your hand wraps over his gloved one, the leather cold on your skin. You lean into the touch.

“I thought it was one-sided,” you say finally. “I'm quite fond of you, too, you know.”

“You do a horrible job of showing it.”

“Says you,” you argue. “Just—don't do it again. Let me handle my own problems, Kaz. I'll let you know if I need your help.”

He hums in agreement. “You'll let me know.”

“I will.”

The two of you jump apart abruptly when there's a loud knock.

“Boss?” Jesper's voice sounds muffled through the door. “Everything okay? I hope ___ hasn't murdered you yet.”

“I haven't,” you answer, half-chuckling. Turning to look at Kaz, you say, “It's funny how he doesn't assume you'll murder me instead.”

Kaz shrugs. “He knows I can't.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Can't or won't?”

“Both,” he answers. “Can we not talk about murdering each other after what just happened?”

Heat rushes to your cheeks. What just happened is you practically professing your little (well, maybe not-so-little) crush on him.

“So, is Kaz okay?” Jesper shouts again.

“Fine,” Kaz answers. “You can go back to your table.”

[ ]

i wanted to write something cute. schatje is taken from google and inspired from a kaz fic i read that used 'schatz' as a nickname. the plot is slightly ehhh? because it didn't really end the way i intended it to and i didn't proofread (when have i ever?). i was hoping to turn it into a two or three part series, but this is what we've ended up with & im quite happy with it. thank you for reading!

[ckret2]

Chapter 40 of human Bill Cipher, in spite of his fondest hopes, still being stuck in the Mystery Shack:

As much as Gideon wants out of the evil magic game, the survival of his father's used car dealership rides on Gideon's help.

And, relatedly, Bill's started receiving psychic car commercials.

1981

Ford had been in his study for what felt like forever, staring at the pile of papers and numbers on his desk, trying to stop the figures from shifting and swimming before his eyes; when something from behind him lit up the dim room with golden light and he a heard a familiar voice behind his shoulder—

"Heeey, Stanford! You've been having a lot of dreams about tax forms lately, what gives?"

Ford was startled out of his thoughts. He turned around, smiling in relief. "Oh, Bill! Hello." Apparently he was dreaming. Thank goodness. It explained why he couldn't seem to get these forms to make sense. "How long have you been watching me?"

"About twenty years."

"What?"

"About twenty minutes," Bill said. "I wasn't going to bug you tonight, but usually your dreams are a little more adventurous! You're starting to worry me, kid." He disintegrated the tax forms with a gesture and floated down to sit on Ford's desk, like a razor-thin glowing paperweight. It was strange to see him cross his legs. "What's on your subconscious?"

Ford hadn't thought his Muse cared that much about his day-to-day human troubles. It was comforting to know someone was worrying about him—someone so far beyond human potential that maybe Ford didn't have to worry he'd be disappointed to learn Ford was struggling a little. "It's my grant money," he sighed. "I feel like my research into Gravity Falls is nowhere near completion, but that money will only last for so long. It won't be long before I'll need to ask for more funding, and I'll have a hard time convincing anyone if I don't have anything to show for it, but I don't want to share incomplete research..."

"Ah, money. The second-worst curse human society's ever inflicted on itself."

"What's the worst one?"

"Marriage."

Ford barked a laugh. It wasn't even that funny a joke; it was just such unexpectedly human cynicism for such an otherworldly entity. It sounded like a joke Ford's dad would make.

"Well, money. What to do..." Bill drummed his fingers on Ford's desk, gazing off into the distance as he thought. Ford realized that, at some point while he was distracted, most of his study had vanished, leaving his desk and chair sitting precariously atop a faint gridded plane in the starry blue void where he usually met Bill. Finally, Bill said, "Have you considered buying gold?"

He hadn't. "Will it help?"

"Sure it will! Eventually!"

"In time to help pay my mortgage?"

"Hmm." Bill thought a moment longer, then snapped his fingers. "Got an idea." He floated off of Ford's desk to eye level, strange sigils appearing in white-blue light around him. "Do you happen to know where the people who decide your funding live?"

"Er... the general area." It had to be near the Backupsmore campus, didn't it?

"Then I might be able to help you!" The symbols solidified around Bill. "I know a little spell to help persuade people. It'll let you plant ideas in their dreams—give 'em a little subliminal nudge. It could make some bigwigs come around on the importance of the research you're doing out here."

A fascinating concept. Ford studied the sigils greedily. He didn't recognize them, but they looked fairly simple. "You're not... talking about mind control?"

"Nah, that's not in my wheelhouse. It'll just let you... talk to them! Like I talk to you! I'm not controlling you, am I?" His eye curved up in a facsimile of a smile. "But you'll find most people have a harder time ignoring you when you're talking to them inside their own heads. What they do with that when they wake up is up to them. Just think of it as a way to schedule an interview where you'll have their undivided attention."

Ford pressed his lips together as he thought; then shook his head. "Thank you, Bill, but no. I wouldn't feel right earning money that way. I'd rather know they were impressed by the scientific and historical value of my work—and if I use magic, I'll never know for sure if they really thought my work measured up."

Bill laughed. "That's what I like about you, Stanford! You really shoot for the stars—and you've got the work ethic to get there! You don't want the fame and fortune unless you earn it!"

Ford was momentarily taken aback. It was rare that his muse openly complimented him; on most nights he dealt with Ford with a sort of cool, detached fondness, something a little too distant to be real affection. When he did voice his approval, it was like the sun coming out after a month of cloud cover. There were nights, when Ford was really feeling his isolation in these woods and he'd half convinced himself all his years of research had been a waste of time, when he was half willing to chase that sunshine to the ends of the earth.

"You'll do whatever it takes to finish your research, won't you?" Bill asked.

Ford gave Bill an awkward, self-conscious smile. "Of course I will. How could I not?"

"Hey, not everyone has your ambition! Most people take the easy way to the top. Cheating, copying, riding on greater men's coattails... Some guys earn the dough to buy their gold, others just want to dig for someone else's." Bill spread his hands in a shrug. "Well, it was an idea." The sigils started to fade.

Ford raised a hand. "Hold on. I don't want to use it, but... do you think I could learn that spell anyway?" He smiled hopefully. "For research?"

"For fun?"

"For fun."

Bill laughed. "I was waiting for you to ask!" The sigils reappeared, and next to them appeared an incantation. "All right, I'll walk you through it. Pay attention, I don't think you've got enough time to go over it twice this REM cycle."

Ford nodded, focusing fully on Bill, determined to remember the spell well enough to record it in Journal 2 when he woke up.

####

Spring, 2013

Tentatively, Bud Gleeful said, "Son... now, I know you lost that spooky grimoire of yours. But... don't you have anything left that might help out the dealership?"

Gideon growled in irritation. "I told you, father! Everything I knew was in Journal 2! It's gone! Anyway, I'm just trying to be a normal kid now. I don't want to get mixed up in any more magic. I'm through with it."

"I understand," Bud said, nodding. "And I think that's mighty admirable of you, turning over a new leaf like that. Shows real maturity." He hesitated, wringing his hands together. He pre-emptively winced and said, "But it's just that... business hasn't exactly been booming, ever since your little tenure as Bill's sheriff. And you know I love the fellas you made friends with in the penitentiary, they're all such... colorful characters; but having them hang around does make folks a little wary to drive into the parking lot..."

Volume doubling, Gideon snapped, "Are you saying it's my fault?!"

"No, son, no. You know I'd never." Bud knelt down, and—cautiously, like he was trying to pet a feral cat—put a hand on Gideon's shoulder. "But, well... business is slumping, that's all. We'll be fine as long as we live within our means, don't you worry about that—but our means might not cover luxuries like those fancy suits and fine new boots you like so much, you understand."

Gideon lowered his gaze, tugging self-consciously on the sleeve of his favorite suit jacket. It was already just a little too short to be fashionable; he probably didn't have long until he outgrew it completely.

"Your mother and I are doing all we can," Bud said. "If there's anything you can do... well, you don't have to, of course. But—it'd be a mighty big help."

Gideon grit his teeth, glaring at his feet. (How long until he outgrew all his shoes? He had a growth spurt coming "any day now," he'd been told. The prospect didn't excite him.) He balled his hands into fists; and then muttered, "There... might be one spell I remember... the sigils were pretty simple..."

####

June 2013

Bill could see it in his mind's eye: if he kept pushing and pushing eventually there'd be no more room in two dimensional space for his mother to fill, and then she'd be forced to bend UP, up into the third dimension, all that open free space. Then she'd see the dark, she'd see the far points of light—

"STOP!" His mother howled in pain. He kept pushing. She was out of room. She didn't bend up. He shoved—and she splintered. Bone snapping, cartilage tearing, he could see inside her thin body as things broke and ruptured. He didn't know what to do.

And for several long, long seconds—he couldn't remember what was happening. The world seemed to bend wrong, and he couldn't remember.

At least, he couldn't have remembered a few weeks ago. He hadn't wanted to. But he'd been studying a book on lucid dreaming since then; and the first things it taught was how to remember more of his dreams. And now, he recalled exactly what happened next when he pushed his mother and she splintered and ruptured:

He pushed harder.

Her skin fractured and peeled off, strand after strand. It filled the spaces between his fingertips, wrapped up his arms. He could shut his eye but he still saw it through his eyelid, still felt it tickling at the corners of his mouth. 

"You want me to tell everyone the third dimension's full of dead shapes?! Huh?!" All he could see was blood and bone and peeling skin. "Then why don't you go find them for me!" He let out an angry, hysterical, broken laugh.

Her hand grabbed weakly at his.

He let go and jolted back, gasping—and almost retched. What had he done? He hadn't meant to. But he'd kept pushing—but it was too late by then. It was too late by then, wasn't it?

"What have you done?"

Bill whirled around to face— "Dad?"

The green trapezoid looked as sick as Bill felt, eye darting in horror across the crumpled line in the corner. He couldn't even see most of it from where he was—his eye didn't work like Bill's, he couldn't look through the mess of skin to the gore beneath.

"It was an accident," Bill whispered. (He'd kept pushing.) "It really was, I promise."

His father tore his eye from the corpse to Bill's face. "What are we going to tell your followers?"

Bill looked past his father. Through a wall so thin Bill almost couldn't see it, hundreds upon hundreds of shapes were settled, waiting—to see him. He was sure: somehow, somehow, they could see him too. They knew what he'd done. His life was over.

A thunderous voice boomed, "Whooee, what a fix! Boy, you look like you could use a getaway car, couldn't you?"

Bill blinked. He blinked again. He looked up-but-not-north.

A human in a pink Hawaiian shirt, standing on top of the universe, looked down at him.

Bill said, "What."

"Here, let me just—getcha right—" The human plunged his hand through the second dimension, scooped beneath Bill, and popped him right up off the surface of the universe. "Now, if you'll pardon my saying so, you look like you could use a little help getting somewhere far, far away from here!"

Bill stared at him. "What."

"And I've got just the thing to help you!" the human declared. "Aren't you feeling stuck? Trapped? Just can't take your obligations anymore? Miserable you can't hit the road and see all of—well—" he gestured vaguely out at the flat surface of the universe stretching into the distance "—whatever this is? Then you need to visit your buddy Bud Gleeful—(that's me)—at Gleeful's Auto Sales, the finest used car dealership in Roadkill County! We'll get you a set of wheels that'll carry you on the cross-country police-evading tour of your dreams!" He dropped his voice and murmured to Bill from behind his hand, "Warranty expires at the state line."

"What." Bill looked down at the universe—and was disappointed but not surprised to see he wasn't a triangle anymore, but a human. He looked at Bud again. "Are you advertising to me. Is this an advertisement. Am I getting advertised to in my sleep."

"And if you sign before you leave, we'll throw in a free air freshener," Bud added.

Bill stared at him in horrified amazement. "I am going to kill you," he said. "And then I'm going to wake up and kill you in real life."

"Ah, well. That's a right shame."

####

Bill shot straight up with a roar of rage. "Oh, when I get my hands on...!"

"Whoa. Bad dream?"

Bill whirled around with a murderous glare. Dipper's spirit, ghastly and pale, was hovering in the middle of the attic. Bill snapped, "You're a bad dream!" He scrambled after the spirit.

"Whoa! Hey!" Dipper tried to swoop away from Bill toward the stairs.

Bill caught him by the back of the neck. "You are going back in your bo—bed, you're getting in, and you're not getting back out."

"Ow, let go!" Dipper squirmed in Bill's grip, kicking his feet in the air. "I was just going to turn off the TV! I heard it playing an advertisement, I think that's what put me in... you know." He gestured at himself. "The sleepwalking dream."

Bill hesitated in front of the kids' door. "What advertisement?"

"I don't know, it was too far away to tell. But I know it was an advertisement, it sounded... advertise-y."

"Hmm." Bill considered that. And then he flung Dipper's soul through the door.

"HEY!"

"I'll turn off the TV," Bill said. "Go back to sleep!"

Ugh. Everything ached, his stomach was trying to turn itself inside out in an attempt to escape and go forage for food independently, and the world held a vindictive grudge against Bill personally. He trudged downstairs, muttering crabbily to himself.

He wasn't surprised to discover the TV was off.

####

"I'm conducting a survey," Bill said. "Did you hear any advertisements from the TV last night? Maybe have any dreams that might have been influenced by hearing an ad?"

"Uh..." Soos slowed at the bottom of the stairs as he thought. "Nope. Slept like a baby all night."

"Interesting." He waved at Melody to try to catch her attention. "Hey, how about you?"

"Nope!" Already dressed for work, she hurried from the stairs to the living room without even glancing Bill's way. She tended not to linger when he was nearby. He told himself he was flattered.

"Dude," Soos said, "What happened to your arm?"

Bill looked down. On the underside of his forearm were two thick lines set at an angle, burned so dark brown they were nearly black. "Leaned on the stove after someone used the burner. Oops."

"Do you need...?"

"Don't worry about it, it's already healing." Bill rolled down his hoodie's sleeves as he leaned into the kitchen, "How 'bout you, Stan? Hear any phantom ads last night?"

"Nuh-uh. But I sleep with my hearing aids out," Stan said. "The only things loud and grating enough to wake me are a car horn or your voice."

"Ha!" Bill looked from Stan's side of the table to Ford's—and Ford wasn't facing him, but he was glancing from the corner of his eye toward Bill's arms.

Bill turned away without asking anything. No point. Obviously, Ford had been too far underground to have picked up anything. Bill told himself Ford was seething at getting the cold shoulder.

"What're we talking about?" Mabel asked, coming downstairs with Dipper close behind.

Bill looked at her—and then let his gaze sweep past her with the same cold disinterest he'd favored Ford with. He brushed past her to head upstairs. "Hey, somnambulist." He shoved Dipper's hat down over his eyes as he passed. "TV was off. No one else heard anything. You dreamed your stupid ad."

"Hey." Dipper pulled his hat back up. "Jerk."

Mabel called, "Bill?"

He ignored her and kept walking.

####

"What was that all about?"

Bill was curled up in the attic window seat, flipping covetously through an issue of Gold Chains For Old Men; at the sound of Mabel's irritated voice, he merely said, "Oh, hello." He turned another page. "Here to try to make a fool of me some more?"

She planted her hands on her hips. "Bill, what are you talking about?"

"Tell me about those 'Mysteries' of yours. Did you plan your story any deeper than that? Were you going to arrange for me to catch you with a cloak and dagger just to make me wonder?"

Mabel paused. "Oh." She laughed weakly.

"So how many people were in on it, huh? Was it just you and Stanford, or did you have the whole house laughing at me behind my back?"

"It—it was just us two." She leaned on the wall by Bill's feet. "Um, so... are you actually mad?"

He shot her a venomous look, then lifted his magazine so he couldn't see her any more.

"Come on!" She poked his knee. "It was a harmless prank! And you lie to everyone all the time."

"No I don't."

"You're so sensitive."

"I am not," Bill said indignantly. "I'm proud. I have pride. And lately pride's about the only thing I have going for me. And I didn't think a friend would try to undermine it."

Mabel heaved a sigh. "Okay, all right. Sorry."

Bill lowered his magazine to peer at her skeptically. "Are you really?"

"Well, yeah." She leaned against the window seat. "It was just a joke, I don't wanna hurt your feelings."

He stared her down a moment longer, assessing her sincerity. And then he sat up and pulled her into a hug.

She squawked in surprise, but returned the embrace. "Bill! What—?"

"You're sweet, you know that, star girl?" He gave her one last squeeze and let her go. "When you aren't trying to make me look dumb. But you don't rub salt in the wounds, that's what matters."

"Pfff. I kinda think you'd try to kill me if I did."

"Mmyeah, I might." He wouldn't. Only person in this entire dull rotten world who was willing to apologize for wronging him. He wasn't giving her up easily. "Hey—did you happen to hear any commercials last night? Maybe have any dreams that might've been caused by one?"

"Nope! I had a dream about cats fighting a war against an octopus."

"Oh, that one. Did the octopus win or did the lions show up in time?"

Mabel paused. "It's always creepy when you do that. But the octopus won this time."

"Aww. That poor picturesque beach town."

"I tried to get between the octopus and the town when the cats failed."

"Did you stop it?"

Mabel shrugged. "Dunno. I woke up before it reached me."

"Too bad! But hey—you've been making big progress with your lucid dreaming. You'll get it next time!" No salesmen offering cars as war chariots for the cats, though. It was almost a pity. Bill would've liked to hear about Bud getting eaten by a giant octopus.

"So I guess Dipper was the only one who thought he heard a commercial."

Dipper and Bill. "Guess so."

####

The large, empty floor room, down the main hallway at the far end of the house, was among the few places Bill was allowed to go. Except when the humans had some big event like a dance or a museum exhibit planned, there was nothing in it but a flat old sofa, a fireplace he couldn't turn on, and Soos's electric piano taunting him. In spite of its relative isolation from the rest of the household, Bill rarely had reason to visit it.

But when he wanted space to pace and think, there was no better room.

Last night's advertisement was magic, no doubt. And he suspected he knew the exact spell. The Mystery Shack was way on the outskirts of Gravity Falls; probably nobody else here was affected because they were just out of range of the signal. The only reason Dipper had nearly picked it up was because he didn't have his thick skull in the way when his spirit was out of his body.

But Bill's psychic abilities had been heavily suppressed since he was put in this body. How was he channeling the signal so much more clearly than anyone else?

He thoughtfully ran his tongue over his new golden tooth. "Hmm."

####

Bud entered the Gleeful house flipping through a pile of mail. "Junk, junk, bills, junk... Here's your subscription, honeybunch." He held out an issue of Nervous Wrecks Weekly magazine. His wife paused her cycle of polishing the front window to stiffly take it.

"Junk, coupons... Gideon! You've got a fan letter!" He checked for a stamp indicating the tiny envelope had passed through a state correctional facility. "And it isn't even from the prison, isn't that nice!"

"Coming!" Gideon ran out of his room, snatched the letter from Bud's hand with a little grunt, ran back to his room giggling, and slammed the door.

Bud chuckled. "Joy, sweetie, you remember when that boy got so much fanmail he used to throw it out? These days he's excited for every single letter." The corners of his mouth turned down. "Suppose it's good for him, learning to appreciate the little things."

"Mhm." She looked down at the roses outside the window. She'd need to trim those soon. "I suppose it is."

In his room, Gideon studied the odd envelope. It was tiny—barely large enough for the address and the stamp, no return address—and when he turned it over he discovered lines of text printed on the paper. The flap was tucked carefully into a fold in the envelope that held it tight.

As he pulled out the flap, he realized that the envelope wasn't held together with glue; it was some sort of cleverly-folded origami craft that began to unfold in his hands as he pulled out the flap. The letter was written on the inside of the envelope. "Why—what a delightful little creation!" He sat at his dressing table to focus on unfolding the letter, careful not to damage it so he could re-fold it later.

Once he'd smoothed it out, he could see that the paper was carefully torn from a book. The outside of the envelope was made from the last page of a chapter, with only a few lines of text at the top of the page and the rest left conveniently blank. It talked about telling the difference between waking and dreaming.

He turned the page over to read the letter.

GIDEON–

IT'S ADORABLE THAT YOU'RE USING A DREAM COUNTERFEITING SPELL FOR CAPITALISM! I BET YOUR PARENTS ARE PROUD! HOWEVER, MY FILLINGS ARE PICKING UP AUTO DEALERSHIP ADS ALL NIGHT. IT'S REALLY ANNOYING. CUT IT OUT.

In place of a signature, there was a triangle with an eye.

Gideon's blood ran cold.

He read the letter again, then studied the words themselves. He didn't recognize the tall, thin, crooked handwriting. He flipped over the envelope. No return address. He noticed for the first time that the letter wasn't addressed to "Gideon". It said "STAR BOY". Fan mail. Right.

The postmark was from Gravity Falls.

"It can't be Bill," Gideon muttered to himself. "Bill's dead. It's got to be some prankster with a twisted sense of humor..."

But then, how could some prankster know he was doing dream magic? Did anyone else even know that Bill had called him "Star Boy"?

No. It had to be a prankster. If Bill were alive, he'd be doing much worse than sending letters and complaining about fillings.

He crumpled up the letter and threw it away. His father's business needed Gideon to do whatever he could to help. Gideon's own financial future depended on it. He wasn't about to let some prankster stop him.

####

There was a rumble of several motorcycles and a revving car engine outside the Gleeful house, disturbing the late evening still. Gideon came in the front door wearing a little backpack, waving behind himself as he came in. "Thanks for the ride, Ghost-Eyes! Good talk today! I'll see y'all this weekend for brunch!" He shut the door as the engines receded into the distance.

"Welcome home, son," Bud said from the couch. "How were the ex-convicts this week?"

"Oh, great, just great. Graybeard's daughter is gonna let him meet his grandson and Spiderwebs got a new job."

"Oh, that's wonderful to hear. I know you were real concerned for Spiderwebs."

"I shouldn't have worried! He got work at an alpaca ranch on the other side of town, did you know there's an alpaca ranch 'round here?"

"Can't say I did!"

"I think it's a good fit for him. Being out in nature calms him down."

An uneasy silence fell over the room as they waited a polite amount of time to change the topic. In the kitchen, Joy cleaned the same dish for the third time.

Bud cleared his throat. "Well, uh—you know, it's been a couple of days since we've run a 'nighttime ad.' Do you think it's a good time to...?"

Gideon squeezed his backpack's straps. He could still see that spindly text reading "STAR BOY". "Do you think? I don't want to put 'em too close together, folks might notice..."

Bud grimaced. "It can't hurt. It's been almost two weeks since I sold a car."

Gideon scowled. But he nodded. "Yeah, all right. I'll go set up."

"You know how much your mother and I appreciate it," Bud said. "I'll go heat up dinner."

Gideon went to his room, tossed his backpack on his bed, rolled out the tarp on which he'd drawn the circle and sigils in permanent marker, and set up the candlesticks and candles around the perimeter. His father called him to dinner; they watched an evening talk show; and after a little more dawdling, they figured it was late enough that most folks would be asleep, and went to Gideon's room to get to work.

As Bud awkwardly lowered himself to sit in the circle and Gideon lit the candles, Gideon asked, "Father, do you ever... remember who you talk to? I mean, whose dreams you're in?"

Bud considered that, pursing his lips. "No, can't say I do. It's a bit like I'm dreaming myself," he said. "And it's sort of a jumble of a few hundred dreams, too. Like I'm visiting the whole town at once. All I can recall is a blur!"

Gideon frowned. "I see."

"You sure you don't want to be sitting in the circle this time?" Bud asked. "I'd bet if folks saw you in their dreams telling them to buy a car, why, they'd just rush right down."

These days, Gideon wasn't so sure. Sourly, he said, "I don't want to get involved." He'd gotten enough of starring in his father's car commercials when he was younger. He'd thought he'd escaped that completely when he picked up the telepathy act; he didn't relish the thought of using telepathy to star in another car commercial.

"All right, suit yourself. Just keep it in mind." Bud got as comfortable as he could on the floor and shut his eyes.

Gideon took a deep breath and began chanting: "Dreamers, hear me, from far far away; tonight you'll dream of what I say; dreamers, hear me, from far far away; tonight you'll dream of what I say; dreamers, hear me, from far far away..."

The flames flickered and turned bright blue. A purplish shimmery light surrounded Bud; and as Gideon kept chanting, the light expanded to the edge of the circle and beyond, creeping across the floor, over the bed—

A shrill wail filled the room. They both started, losing their concentration. The wail persisted several seconds before it resolved into a eardrum-bursting roar of words: "HI I'M SCOUT YOUNGER AND I'M IN A PICKLE SO YOU CAN DRIVE FOR A NICKEL! I'VE GOT SO MANY CARS I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO PUT 'EM! SO WE'RE GIVING THEM AWAY FOR FIVE CENTS, THAT'S RIGHT FIVE CENTS! SCOUT YOUNGER, I'M A DEALER BY THE PEOPLE FOR THE PEOPLE—"

"Dagnabbit," Bud shouted, "that's the man undermining my no-barter-for-a-quarter deal and getting all my business! He's halfway to Portland—but darn it, his commercials are so catchy!"

"—THAT'S YOUNGER PATRIOT CARS, ON THE NORTH SIDE OF INTERSTATE—" The commercial was cut off with a clap of thunder that made them both jump again.

And before the dying rumbles of the thunder had fully faded, a second voice spoke—a high-pitched, furious shriek that Gideon hadn't heard in nearly a year but instantly recognized: "SEE HOW YOU LIKE GETTING USED CAR ADS SHOVED DOWN YOUR THROAT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, YOU LITTLE TWERP. THIS IS MY FINAL WARNING!"

There was another crack of thunder; and then nothing.

Nothing but a faint, muffled, mechanical whir coming from Gideon's bed.

Slowly, Bud said, "Is that...?"

Gideon looked under his bed; then on top, tugging over his backpack and unzipping it; and he pulled out a still-running cassette tape player. A complicated sigil was painted on top of the player and stretched over the play button, glowing shimmery purple as though it had absorbed the magic from Gideon's spell.

Bud took the tape player, stopped it, rewound a bit, turned down the volume dial, and hit play: "—your throat in the middle of the night, you little—"

He stopped the tape. He and Gideon looked at each other.

Bud said, "Don't tell your mother."

####

"Third lap!" Dipper crowed as his car zoomed over the line on the digital racetrack. "You'd better catch up fast!"

"Aw, c'mon," Mabel groaned. She tilted her body along with her game controller as she steered her car around a tricky curve, as though that would help her go a little faster. "No fair, I'd be winning if you didn't throw a goose at me—"

"Pff, shut up, you always use the goose."

Bill was sitting cross-legged on the floor, watching the fish tank—as far as either Dipper or Mabel could tell, having a staring contest with the axolotl—but without breaking eye contact with the tank, he leaned over to elbow Dipper's knee. "Hey kid. Go left."

"What? No, shut up." Dipper tried to kick Bill's arm away.

"Go left. Trust me, it's a hidden shortcut."

"No! You're not even watching."

"I'm psychic. Go left."

"No." Dipper jerked his car to the right. It drove off the track and landed in quicksand. "Aw, man—"

"YES!" Mabel sailed past him. A fanfare played as she crossed the finish line. "The winner! Woo-woooo!"

Bill beamed as Dipper glared at the side of his face.

Somebody knocked on the door—and kept knocking, frantically hammering for attention. Dipper and Mabel looked over.

Bill glanced over, rolled his eyes, said, "You don't want to answer that," and looked back at the fish tank.

Dipper glared at him again, stood, and went to answer the door, Mabel close behind. "Hel— Gideon?"

"Told you," Bill muttered.

Gideon was sweating, panting, and wild-eyed with panic. "Mabel! Dipper!" He paused to give Mabel a sweet smile. "Hi Mabel~♡" And straight back to panic. "We've got a problem! I know y'all don't want me 'round here, but—but this is an emergency!"

Dipper glanced at Mabel. She sighed, but reluctantly stepped back to let Gideon in. "All right. What is it?"

"I know I sound insane, but—but you have to trust me," Gideon said. "I don't know how, and I don't know why, but Bill Cipher's back! I'm sure it's Bill, it can't be anyone else, he... he knows things only somebody with his powers could know!" He paced anxiously in front of the twins, "He's been sending me threatening mail and harassing me and—and I don't know what he's up to, but we've got to find him and stop him! You've gotta help me!" He grabbed Dipper's arms. "I think he might be trying to kill my family!"

Dipper and Mabel turned to glare at Bill.

He was determinedly studying the fish tank.

"Hey, Goldie," Dipper snapped.

Bill glanced over with an expression of mild interest. "Hm?"

"Gideon here says that Bill's been harassing him," Dipper said. "What do you think about that."

"Oh wow," Bill said, extremely unconvincingly. "That's so crazy. I can't even believe it."

Gideon's anxious gaze darted past Dipper and Mabel. "Who's...?" He thought he remembered seeing that stranger around Wendy.

Dipper stepped between their line of sight. "Thanks, Gideon. We'll handle this... problem."

The stranger got to his feet and sauntered to the entryway. "Hey Gideon. Just out of curiosity, what were y—"

Mabel cut in, "Bye, Gideon!" She tried to push him toward the door. "We'll see you later!"

The stranger leaned over Gideon, planting a hand on the doorframe. "—what were you doing that got on Bill's nerves so much, I wonder—"

"Shhh!" Mabel tried to push Bill away.

Had Gideon not heard the voice so recently, he might not have noticed anything odd about the stranger in front of him. But as it was, a chill instantly ran up his spine. He slowly looked up. The menacing smile was unfamiliar, but the eye... something was wrong with that eye. The longer he stared into it, the more he could see the cruel, mad, golden inhumanity.

Gideon squealed in terror and bolted out the door. 

Dipper squeezed his eyes shut and groaned. "Seriously?"

Mabel chased after him. "Gideon! Gideon wait!" She caught up with him rounding in front of the gift shop and had to tackle him into the dirt.

"Get offa me! You're working for him, you traitor—"

"Gideon, listen! We're not working for him, he's our prisoner!"

"Oh." Gideon stopped struggling. "Well, that's a different kettle of corn, isn't it."

Mabel sighed in relief. She backed off Gideon, but had to hold his ankle to make sure he wouldn't bolt again. "Okay, look. We don't know how, but Bill's stuck in a human body, and he's got no powers."

"How do y'all know he isn't faking it?"

"Because he tried to kill us and we beat him up." She winced. "We've... kind of beat him up a lot."

Gideon nodded. "O... okay."

"But you can't tell anybody," Mabel said. "If there's an angry mob or something and he gets executed, the real Bill might hatch from his body like an egg and he'll take over the town again!"

Gideon shuddered. He could almost still feel ache in his legs and the blisters on his feet under the adorable sparkly pink shoes.

"So he's fine here with us. We've got everything under control, he's not dangerous like this—" Mabel turned around to shout, "—and HE SHOULDN'T BE SENDING THREATENING LETTERS, BILL."

Bill's voice drifted from around the corner of the house: "YOU CAN'T PROVE ANYTHING!"

Dipper said, "What did Gideon do to warrant that, anyway?"

Bill glowered into the distance. "He knows what he did."

"Okay, I-I won't tell anyone. I promise." Pitifully, Gideon asked, "Can I go home now?"

"Yeah, you can go home now." Mabel let him go. He got up and ran as fast as his little legs would carry him.

####

They reconvened in the living room. Dipper and Mabel stood in front of Bill, glaring. Bill sat on the sofa, smiling innocently.

"Bill," Mabel said. "You should be ashamed of yourself."

"Oh, yeah?" Lots of people thought he should be ashamed of himself, but not many had the guts to say so.

"Bullying Gideon like that!"

"I have an excuse," Bill said. "I've been crabby this week. Body made me crabby. Some kind of human neurotransmitter imbalance. I didn't sign up to have neurotransmitters, it's completely out of my hands."

"That's not an excuse," Dipper said.

"Plus, you're an entire adult thing!" Mabel said. "You're picking on a little kid! He's like, eleven!"

"So? There's not a lot of difference between eleven and a hundred eleven when you're a million million years old."

"Then maybe you're too old to bully anybody."

Bill blinked in mild surprise. "Huh."

Dipper said, "Plus, you're gonna blow your cover and get everyone in trouble!"

Bill shrugged. "He can't prove anything! Anyone could have sent a letter pretending to be me."

Mabel asked, "How did you send a letter, anyway?"

####

"Hey, Soos," Mabel yelled, "Can you send a letter for me?"

"Sure thing, hambone! Just stick it on the pile in the kitchen."

Mabel licked a stamp, haphazardly slapped it on the envelope to her parents, tossed it on the other mail, and ran back upstairs.

Bill crept into the kitchen, peeled the stamp off Mabel's envelope before it dried, stuck it on his tiny origami letter, and stuffed them both into the middle of the mail pile. "Sorry, kid," he muttered. "You'll just have to resend this one."

####

"I have my ways," Bill said.

"And how did you 'harass' Gideon?" Dipper asked. "What could you possibly do from in here to harass him?"

####

Bill sat on the sofa in the floor room with Mabel's boombox radio on the floor, a cassette tape player/recorder he'd salvaged from the museum held up to the speaker with his thumb hovering over the record button, his other hand hovering over the key with the thunder sound effect on Soos's keyboard, an air horn between his knees, and a nearly-dead marker he'd fished out of Mabel's trash and revitalized with rubbing alcohol waiting next to him for drawing a magic-activated sigil. He glared at the boombox as the local radio station played an advertisement for air conditioning installation. "Come on," he muttered at the boombox. "Play the stupid car commercial."

The next ad started. "Bargain alert, bargain alert! I've got more used cars than I know what to do with! Hi, I'm Scout—"

"Yes," Bill hissed. He hit the record button, squeezed the air horn between his knees, held the tape recorder up to the boombox until the end of the commercial, kicked the boombox's power button, quickly held the tape recorder up to the piano, and triumphantly hit the key that produced the sound of a flushing toilet.

"NO!" He kicked the electric piano's leg, flung the tape recorder to the other end of the sofa, and flopped face down on the cushions. After permitting himself a moment of grief at the injustice of it all, he dragged over the tape recorder, stopped it, rewound it back to the start, hit the lightning key several times to make sure he had it, and then set up again to wait for the next time the car commercial played.

####

"Hey Wendy, could you get this door for me?"

Wendy gave Bill a puzzled look. "That's the wrong hallway. Rainbow Club's down that one." She pointed at the door across the room.

"I know, I'm just looking for the restroom! I need to dooo... girl hygiene things?"

Wendy looked at the tape player-shaped lump under Bill's shirt, looked at his face, and raised her brow.

"Okay, okay. I'm gonna prank Lil Gideon."

Wendy opened the door, leaned through, and opened a second door to a coat closet. "Good luck. We're all counting on you."

Bill saluted her, and rummaged through the leather biker jackets in search of Gideon's little backpack.

####

"You've got no idea what kind of dark powers I still have at my disposal," Bill boasted, leaning back and lacing his hands behind his head.

Dipper turned to Mabel. "Yeah, he's got nothing. He probably bribed a tourist to call Gideon's house or something."

Bill scowled, but didn't dignify Dipper with a response. "Anyway, the game's over now that Gideon knows where I am. I won't do it again."

Dipper scoffed. "Yeah, sure. Why should we trust you?"

"Because," Bill said calmly, "if I do it again, you'll have to tell your uncles, and I'll be in serious trouble. So I won't... and therefore, you won't. Right?"

Dipper frowned, but looked at Mabel. Mabel was considering Bill with her hands on her hips. She prompted, "Aaand...?"

It took Bill a moment to figure out what she was aiming for. "And I've realized I was mean and I'm very remorseful for my hurtful actions."

Mabel pointed at him. "That's what I wanna hear!" She looked at Dipper. "I think we can let him off with a warning."

Dipper shook his head in resignation.

Mabel said, "But you're not stopping there, Bill."

"How's that?"

"Come on, man, think!" She poked her finger against her temple. "You know the answer! We just watched this episode yesterday!"

"Episode?" Dipper asked.

"I've been using Color Critters to teach him social skills."

Bill said, "I have social skills, all you're doing is showing me what'll be on the test."

"That's how learning works, dummy! I wanna hear you regurgitate that textbook answer!"

Bill opened his mouth, stuck out his tongue, and pantomimed sticking his finger down his throat and gagging; but then he said, with a blatantly artificial chipper tone, "'If we hurt our friends, we should try to find a way to make it up to them and make sure it can't happen again.'" 

"That's right! 98 points! I'm taking two off for attitude."

"So how do you expect me to make it up to him? I can't exactly un-send him a letter. Unless you're gonna loan me that time tape—"

"Stop asking for the time tape," Dipper said, "it'll never happen."

Bill shrugged. "Then what do you suggest."

"Figure it out yourself," Mabel said. "You're the one who's gotta make it up to Gideon, not us."

Bill rolled his eye. "Is this part of the terms to buy your silence?"

"Yeah, it is."

"All right, fine." Bill sighed and stood up. "Give me a bit to brainstorm. I'll be upstairs." He meandered out of the room.

Mabel called after him, "You better not think you're wiggling out of this!"

"Relax! I won't disappoint you, Shooting Star. Promise."

Once he was out of earshot, Dipper turned to Mabel. "How do you expect him to make it up to Gideon?"

"He should say 'sorry.'"

Dipper nodded. Okay, sure, that sounded reasonable. "How long do you think it'll take for him to think of apologizing?"

"I'd give it a couple of hours."

####

(If you recognize the dealership being parodied, we now share a warrior's bond. Anyway hope y'all enjoyed, I've been looking forward to introducing Gideon for a long time! As always, I'd love to hear y'all's thoughts and comments on the chapter!)

[kalims]

‎˃ ᵕ ˂ . . "what the—please put me down,, it's not a wedding nor am i ready to get married!"

bridal style but it's not a wedding,

or in which, they carry you bridal style.

characters. dorm leaders.

includes. gn reader, this is a small treat for over 4k followers :) since I still wanted to give yall one

cw. reader impied to be injured/sick.

note. I rate sumeru archon quest a solid 9.7/10 and yes, I only finished it yesterday LMAO. u wondering why malleus' is different? thats right he's just special. <3

— riddle rosehearts

"you okay there?" you stare at riddle knowingly. eyeing his red face that was neither from embarrassment nor anger. the man in question nods stiffly, adjusting his hold on you in a way that makes you fly for a second.

riddle grits out an answer. ignoring the way he was painstakingly slow on taking you to whatever destination. gods.. he's never been so mad at the fact that the infirmary was so far. "I'm doing just..—" he trips on a small pen that was just coincidentally in the middle of the hallway, nearly tumbling forward and leering you to the ground but he catched himself at the last moment.

and pretended nothing just happened but he definitely just spared a searing look towards the innocent pen. "—fine."

"it's fine. I can walk." you eventually nudge him however he seems more determined hearing your words. noticing your particular look riddle panics. "w-wait.. it's alright! I'm doing okay!"

it's not that you're light, or heavy at all. but in general riddle is far more impressive in the.. magical aspect, in terms of heavy lifting in heartslabyul. he leaves it to trey, cater and other residents who are far more competent than him.

you shake your head, he was being oddly intent with this. "if I can't even do this when you are in need of care how will i learn in the future?" riddle frustratingly sighs. sure, he can admit he was probably gonna sleep tonight and wake up with sore arms but the very least,, you'd see him as a strong person. inside and out.

that was quite suggestive, not in the way you're thinking but rather.. "oh? so.. you see a future with me?" placing a hand on your chest you smile at riddle who wastes no time dropping you. you reminisced a long lost.. experience when you fell because honestly, the pain you felt in your bottom was excruciating.

he glares at you despite the steam animatedly coming out of his ears. "is this a joke? I—" riddle paused as if just noticing your clear pain even though you wear a tight lipped smile on your face.

then he panics again, crouching down. "I'm sorry.. I was careless."

meanwhile. I can't tell if all the pain I'm feeling right now is worth it for his vision of the future and concern.

you continue to stare at the wall in a daze, completely silence as riddle is in an inner monolog regretting his life choices.

leona kingscholar

"oi. are you paying me for this, I don't give out service for free."

leona says but you merely squint at him. "since when was money something you needed?" you point a finger at him accusingly but he just shrugs, annoyingly enough. "dunno. might need it. you'll pay me back somehow. I'll make sure of it." he makes a show of trying to intimidate you with his stare.

you flail your arms around in frustration, pretending to not notice the stare he directed at you when you accidentally hit him in the face. you definitely did not want to be under leona's crazy favors again.. "but im gonna die if you don't bring me there?!"

"it's just a fractured rib. ah. right, tell me. who did this to you." leona plays it off cooly but you know full well what his words imply. now,, should you destroy someone's life or spare mercy on them? meh.. either way you probably didn't have a choice because ruggie was there and the hyena was gonna rat it out to leona anyways. "some random from diasomnia. it's not that serious."

maybe it was a bad idea mentioning diasomnia cause leona has this scary look on his face right now and you're sure he's gonna be 100x more merciless on them since they're in the dorm of someone he hates. "not that serious? look at you. you look like you're gonna die from every breath and move you take." he huffed.

how ironic. "didn't you say that it's 'just' a fractured rib?"

leona just ignores you but he's slowed down considerably, which you'd like to think for your sake when he realizes that you indeed,, are struggling whenever you move.

the silence was quite awkward so after a while you decide to speak.

"anyways. if you don't need money just tell me what you do need so I can get it over with as soon as possible."

leona doesn't look at you until you're at the very door of the infirmary itself. since when did you arrive? time flew by quite quick or he's really just that athletic.

you expect not to get an answer till he places his hand on the knob, preparing to open it and then freezing. then, he looks at you finally. "you. i need you to get better so you can come back to me."

you were about to have an inner crisis— scratch that you were having an inner crisis when there's someone clearing their throat and a seemingly long object making contact with a palm. you both turn and see crewel looking quite furious. he points at leona.

"pups and kitties don't get along. scram little one, I'll take care of them."

leona looked like he just didn't care but definitely iffed by crewel ruining the moment.

you hear something about audacity and kitties.

azul ashengrotto

"i... they'd be better off with someone else." azul trails off. looking away and clearing his throat, crewel spares him an unimpressed look. looking thoroughly bold enough to start whipping his little stick around for a spin.

crewel glares at him. "you are the only person in here ashengrotto. do you think this is a choice? would you rather them writhing on the floor then?" at his azul's lips grow thin and he's trying quite hard to avoid the man's narrowed eyes.

he points at jade; who sits at a chair right next to you. the man in question lifts his head, somehow probably feeling the finger pointed at him. jade does look like he already knew it was azul and grins. he feigns confusion. ".. what about jade then..? he's far more equipped to carry them."

azul debates, strangely intent on not being the one to carry you to the infirmary. crewel drags a hand down his face. "no. that pup is injured as well, are you blind? leech has a broken leg." the man points at the poorly done bandages around jade's leg, an indication that the one who did it wasn't exactly a professional.

you just feel like a bystander to this weird conversion going back and forth.

jade places a hand over his knee and rubs it slowly. "ah.. yes, it's quite the chore for me to walk. imagine me carrying someone else, it must be painful." you look back and forth toward the two octavinelle students.

azul looks like the mixture of bursting a nerve and embarrassment. jade looks at him knowing full well that he could have broken another limb and be able to walk just fine. but it's quite funny azul trying to hide a.. fact from you.

"no i—"

crewel shakes his head. "it is final. you carry them there or else."

to his relief crewel ushers jade to follow as he walks out the door. but his friend still had the audacity to smile at him as he passes through the door.

when I get my hands on him I'll...

"it's okay. you can't carry me, right?"

at your seeming reassurance azul flushes and looks like he's at a loss of words. before he can speak you already beat him to it. "jade told me that you can't do much heavy lifting. in your human form that is." you laugh.

azul looks down in shame and embarrassment. perhaps he could scam I mean.. gain a new client that was willing to swap strength with him?

"that's alright. just keep in mind that I'll be looking forward to see how strong you are in your mer-form."

he flushes completely.

wait how was he gonna get you to the infirmary..?

kalim al asim

jamil is in a dilemma.

he isn't usually someone to tolerate another person's presence but your annoying little self still somehow wormed your way into his heart—non consensual of course. he doesn't like worms at all by the way.

so naturally he's a little.. concerned, just a little that kalim insists on being the one to carry you to the infirmary and as far as jamil knew, kalim hasn't exactly been working on his physical stature with the exception of the painfully long, hot walks in the desert.

"jamil! it's okay. really, I got this." kalim flashes the man a bright smile which only further raises his concern or whether or not you're gonna arrive in the infirmary with more injuries than you were supposed to.

it's not that jamil doesn't trust kalim—actually he doesn't.. but the the boy can be quite clumsy and as much as kalim seems to be willing to give you about a thousand gold bars if you asked for it he just isn't convinced.

plus you're as equally stupid.

and the only thing you and kalim don't know about each other is that you're utterly whipped and jamil also didn't consent to knowing this. so he resists the urge to roll his eyes when you nod. "yeah! I'm sure you have other vice-dorm leaders stuff to do!"

"see?!"

if it meant picking between taking the risk and safety of his admittedly, close friend what would he choose?

yeah he's not dealing with this. jamil closes his eyes. "then kalim would have 'dorm leader stuff' to do as well so I trust you to go there yourself?" which is typically jamil's silent threat but totally with love.

kalim looks confused. "I... do?"

miraculously enough he turns to you and you both start acting like you didn't just sprain your knee. "I'm a dorm leader too.. doesn't that mean i have dorm leader stuff too?" your face scrunched up in distaste at the thought of even more work meanwhile kalims brightens.

he seems ecstatic and you do not. "we're the same!"

jamil tries to cut in. "guys please. can we just get (name) to the infirmary first..?" he sighs quietly. wondering what he did in this past life to receive such a troublesome one.

you both ignore him.

"YES. if they finish treating you we can do dorm leader stuff together, let's go!"

you won't be that stupid to turn face at the relevation, rig— oh nevermind you are.

in the end you thankfully did not arrive to the infirmary with an additional injury but you certainly did get a whirling headache when you did from how fast kalim's carpet moved.

jamil swears to never do this again.

vil schoenheit

you're a little worried. if there's anything you're absolutely sure of it's that vil deserves to do everything full of luxury; it lives up to his very existence! some dirt like you compared to a literal diamond? oh geez, you don't even wanna start.

sure you're no better than one of his fans that fell in love with his looks however you can't deny that it was the thing that got you entranced in the first place. though you will admit that vil had a way with words that got you reeling in the second you met.

there's about a hundred things you'd list as to why you like him a lot.

which is why you're doubtful and refuting his offer to carry you. vil must have other better things to do than deal with you just cause of a small little slip. "it's fine. I can do it go do your thing." though vil stares at you pointedly as if looking for confirmation that you actually just turned him down.

"are you looking down on me? I can do this."

in a panic you frantically shake your head. "no!"

you'd never even dream of looking down on vil. if there was anything that was on the bottom it'd be you while he's WAY up there.

vil softly drags his palm against his forehead, careful to not smudge the makeup that lays there. he resists the urge to glare at you—which he apparently could not, since you already avoided his gaze the moment he cast his eyes on you.

"then what is the problem? I do not see one. do you perhaps don't like me?" vil rolls his eyes at you and the sheer audacity in his words to assume that you don't almost has you quaking in your boots!

honestly what's there to not like about him?! sure his mindset about beauty is a little.. strange but it's definitely admirable.

this time you shake your head frivolously, so much that you were actually starting to get dizzy. "absolutely not. don't even say that, I like you the most." you say seriously and your words actually halt vil right in his movements.

he stares at you again and you realize how risky what you said is.

so you throw up your arms and attempt to change the subject. "well. not that it matters, what im saying is! you don't need to dirty yourself for me."

vil raises that judging brow. "no? if you think so highly of me then surely i should treat the one i like most the same."

me..? you think dumbly.

in your flabbergasted state vil takes advantage of you actually end up in the infirmary still stunned to silence as he casually fixes up your appearance.

idia shroud

idia can't tell if he just fell from sheer anxiety or just he couldn't really do it.

but right now all he wants is to dig out a hole, crawl into it and close it then refuse to leave it till the rest of humanity is wiped out from existence because he'll never forget about the embarrassment he's feeling right now.

right, let's rewind! it just so happens that one of the things crowley gave you as work for free residency in ramshackle is that you'd have to assist professors as an assistance of sorts. simple really.

but then no one noticed the way you deliberately freeze in the middle of walking, pretending to sight see outside when your surroundings are literally spinning and your head is pounding from it. there's the peak of the pound then it slowly calms down.

to your unfortunate it didn't mean the pain went away.

it actually hurt you to stand up. more so deal with the bundle of immature third years who aren't any better than the other lower years! you've seen many younger people be more mature than these guys and it's infuriating.

though idia noticed.

it's hard not to when he has no one to talk to, no one to occupy his attention with except you.

so with his full attention of course he noticed the concerning behavior you displayed. and idia debated whether or not to snitch but he has crippling anxiety and his head is just full of doubts. eventually he came to a conclusion that he won't because it'll 'probably be a mistake'

and he did make a mistake, which is not snitching on you. to think he used to say snitches get no bitches. his silence ended up with you passed out on the floor, and your loud thunk completely silenced the whole room.

and now he's the one being ordered to carry you because he 'understood' the lesson best compared to his classmates—and you both knew each other better.

he doesn't even wanna try at all but why the heck isn't ortho answering his comms?! this is a real life EMERGENCY!

between letting you burn up here and possibly humiliating himself idia chooses the latter. his little prophecy did turn out right since when he got you, and lifted you up he tripped immediately.

"good heavens help me..." idia mutters to himself. unable to wait to see his bed and hide in it for the span of the following weeks.

well atleast when you woke up; first thing you saw was idia grinding on your account with his phone since you graciously gave him. he flashes you a wobbly smile and you wonder why he looks exhausted.

malleus draconia

a school play.

you were picked for a school play.

WHY?!?!? was the first thing you screeched in your mind and you didn't even care that there might actually be a mind reader in the room that would hear your screaming and suffer a concussion from how loud and chaotic it is.

either vil wanted to make you better or terrorize you for beating the shit out of him in that stadium since he casted you as one of the main leads who suffers a secret love from the misunderstood villian.

which would've been okay (it's not) if malleus wasn't the misunderstood villian! seriously, who made this play script?

it's not that you hate him it's just that there's a lot of romance scenes. and your heart will absolutely not be able to take the cheesy lines and start bursting into rainbows and stuff.

and the fact that you just kind of, liked him.

wait how did vil even get him to join the play...? you're sure he would've gave up after meeting sebek.

this time the scene is running away from the mages who found out that you made contact with the misunderstood and is now chasing you to most probably imprison you.

set in a snowy plain, you don't know where vil gets all the stuff to make it so realistic cause even you're questioning if this is some hologram or actually reality.

and now you're literally being carried by malleus as the icy weather bites back at you. and of course as a natural response you just sneakily snuggle into his arms more, you hope he really just doesn't notice.

the lines you memorized grow a little hazy but you manage. "are they gone?" you peek behind malleus shoulder. how nice was it to marvel at the world from his height? you don't know how, or when but there's a warmth on your fingers that has you realizing how numb it felt from the cold.

malleus rubs your hands with his own. sharing a quarter of his warmth to you and you're not sure if the warmth should have traveled all the way up to your face. then, he answered. "yes, my love." the nickname wasn't probably meant for you, but rather your character but it still sends you to orbit.

he cradles your face—wait is this part of the script? you don't remember.. malleus runs his thumb just below your cheekbone, pressing gently and once again making you find out about a graze you never really felt till he pulled away and showed you the blood.

didn't vil say there wouldn't be any real life action involved?!

you can spot his eyes just getting a tad, bit darker. "I'll lead you to my tower, stay there and do not move. I just have to deal with.. something." he kisses your forehead.

you resist the urge to scratch your chin.

"cut, cut! all the things you both did wasn't in the script at all." vil facepalms but the blonde beside him looks far more happy. rook flashes you a grin. "encore, encore! what touching improvisation. impressive!"

you eye malleus with concern. "where are you going?"

"to deal with something of course."

but.. didn't the practice just end?

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Blurred Lines 1

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, power imbalance, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your relationship with your boss takes an unpredictable turn.

Characters: Nick Fowler

Note: double chapter day! Thank you to @alicedopey for the ask! I see you girl.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

Cotton drags over tinted skin, flecks it red catching along with the new blood trickling from the split. A hiss passes through clenched teeth despite your gentleness. The act reminds you of when your daughter was only six, crying over a scraped knee as you covered it with a Spongebob bandaid. You don't have any of the yellow strips now, just the roll of gauze and medical tape.

"Ah," Nick clenches his jaw again.

"Sorry," you murmur, "it needs pressure."

You push your thumb against the cotton and he winces, forcing a smile as he crackles out a chuckle.

"I can handle it, honey," he assures you as you hold the cotton above his brow, his other brilliant eye looking up at you. "Just like you handle me so well."

You don't respond. Your boss is a mercurial man. One moment, charming, the next rigid and ignitable. You've learned it's better to just go along with whatever mood he's chosen.

"Other guy looks worse," he remarks as you lift the cotton.

You nod, "I'm sure, sir."

He laughs again, closing his eyes with a sigh. He sits reclined in one of the leather armchair, his head tilted as you tend to him. It's after midnight. You're supposed to be at home sleeping. Your daughter's coming back from college for the weekend, you planned on brunch.

You sift out the box of slender steri-strips and bend over him, carefully sealing the gash above his brow. He's a handsome man. Objectively, you must admit it. Dangerous, too, but you don't wonder about the cuts and bruises. He has a shining badge that tells you more than enough.

"Hands of a goddess," he purrs as he opens his other eye again.

You stand and gather up the waste, packing away the medkit. You thank him plainly and fight the urge to look at the clock. You wad up the used gauze in your fist.

"Sir, is there anything else tonight?"

He lifts his head, both eyes on you now. He considers you as he sits straight and grips his knees. He stands and shrugs, spinning on his heel and striding to the mirror hung on the wall, just above the low table decorated with brass and oak.

"Did I interrupt you?" He asks as he checks his reflection. His left cheekbone is purpled and scraped.

"No, I was only sleeping," you say. You try not to let on that it doesn't come easy or often for you. It's not his concern.

"Mmm," he squints at himself and winces as it tugs at his wound. "Well, you can find an extra room here, drive back in the morning."

"That's kind, sir, but I'm okay," you back up, "I'll clean this up and go if there's nothing else."

"You'll just be back tomorrow," he turns and crosses his arms.

"Um, it's my day off, sir."

He clicks his tongue and nods, "forgot."

You force a small smile. No big deal.

"Got big plans then?"

You hesitate. He doesn't usually ask. You shake your head. You don't think he really cares.

"Would you like some scotch before I go then?"

He inhales, chest rising deeply before falling again. He drops his arms and slips his hands into his pockets. One tail of his shirt is untucked and his jacket is splotched with dark stains. He is sauvely unkempt.

"Sure," he grumbles as he paces before the artificial fireplace.

You dip your chin and leave him. You toss away the garbage and tuck away the kit. You wash your hands before you return to the den and take the thick-bodied decanter from the cabinet. He stands with one hand on the mantle as he stares at the floor.

You pour him a glass and bring it to him. He accepts it without looking up. You ask him if he wants the rest left out for him. He says it doesn't matter.

You bid him good night as he resumes his pensive trance. The adrenaline slakes away and now he's coming down. He'll be in for a good sleep, a lot better than your own. You'll be lucky to get a few hours before you're due to meet Josephine.

🥃

You smile across at your daughter. Every time you see her, she seems more grown up than the last. She has a pretty flower pin in her hair and her lips are glossed the perfect shade of rose. She reminds you of your age, both in a good way and a bad way.

You don't fail to notice the other looks in Josephine's direction. Joey, she corrected you when you picked her up. The changes in her make you feel stagnant. You suppose that comes with age too. You're done blossoming, you only have the wilting ahead of you.

"So, exciting," you say as you pinch the stem of your glass, a pair of mimosas between you as you await your entrees, "you got an internship."

"Um, yeah, it's not bad," she pushes her shoulders up, "my boss is okay, I guess."

"That's good, most bosses don't earn much more than 'eh' as a rating," you kid, "sorry, kiddo."

"Mom," she warns.

"I know, sorry," you correct yourself, "I'll try not to do it again."

You remember being her age. Caught in between adulthood and childhood, not wanting to be reminded of the latter.

"It's fine," she sighs, "I just... I'm trying to be a grown-up, you know?"

"Oh, you've got lots of time for that, Miss Lawyer," you trill, "you are very grown up. You know that, don't you? I'm so proud of you."

"Still got a far way to go," she sips from her own glass. You couldn't have ever imagined your daughter with prosecco sparkling in her hand, but there she is. You almost can't believe she's yours. "Let's talk about you. That's a lot less stressful."

"Ha, but boring," you roll your eyes. "You know, same old."

"Oh, trust, I could tell by the dark circles."

"Oof, you did not," you cackle, "Josephine-- Joey."

"You should try some vitamin C cream--"

"Don't," you warn her with a point across the table.

She giggles and her eyes flit around. There's something else. Something she's not telling you. But she wants to.

"What's going on?" you prompt.

"This is such a nice place," she looks at the table and fidgets, "thanks for breakfast, mom..."

"But..." you add on.

"I... hate to ask but..."

"You need money," you utter, "that's okay. We can make it work. What's it for?"

"Books," she says, "I kinda ran out before I could buy them all, so..."

"That's okay. I'll see if I can't get a few extra hours at work then."

As if he could hear the very allusion to his existence, your phone flashes with a private caller. It's Nick. It's only ever him. You flip the phone down to hid the call.

"Take it," your daughter insists, "it's fine."

"No, it isn't. It's my day off. It's our day," you say, "it can wait."

She smiles. She's so pretty. You can't help but feel inadequate next to her; your own daughter. She's young and vibrant and you're wearing a blouse you bought a decade ago that squeezes your middle a bit too tight.

"Like I said, I'm boring," you sit forward, "tell me about the good stuff. The juicy stuff. Any boys-- or, men?"

"Mom," she snipes.

"What? I gotta live vicariously through you."

She rolls her eyes, "no."

You laugh. You always loved teasing her. She's hard-nosed and too focused to worry about the piddly troubles caused by boys. Or...

"Any girls?"

She looks at you with fire in her eyes. Ah, that's it.

"What's her name?" You goad.

"No, it's nothing. We're not even-- I mean, there's no one," she takes another gulp of her mimosa.

"Sureeee," you drag out the word teasingly, "how many more of those to spill?"

"Enough," she warns, "what about you, huh? You seeing anyone besides your soap operas?"

Now it's your turn to frown, "no," you answer evenly, "I... don't think that's in the cards for me, honey."

"Mom, it's okay," she softens her voice, "dad wouldn't... he would want you to be happy."

"Mm, he would, but he was my happy," you bat your lashes against the singeing heat. "I'm okay, really."

"You deserve someone," she says. "You don't have to be alone."

"I am alone, doesn't mean I'm lonely," you deflect. "Anyway, let's enjoy this. I don't get enough of you."

"Alright, twist my arm, I'll settle for free mimosas and a breakfast bowl," she gives a snarky grin.

You smile. She's the hope you have left. You hope that she never goes through the same pain again. One loss is enough for both of you.

🥃

Joey orders and Uber and you sidle in next to her. You clutch your phone over your purse as the haze of the mimosas fogs in your vision. You may have indulged a bit much.

Your phone shines and you look down. 'Private'.

"I see what you mean about bosses," Joey chides.

"It's not-- not a big deal," you dismiss the call.

"Mom, maybe it's an emergency," she sniffs, "he's been calling a lot."

"He's an adult, I just sweep up his crumbs," you wave her off.

Your phone lights up once more. You're starting to get paranoid. Still, you have to maintain boundaries. Today is your day off.

You exhale and sit back. You watch the city smear by and yawn. The restless night tingles on your eyelids.

Finally, you get to your apartment and slump out of the Uber. You stop as Joey helps you tip the driver with the app and you carry on into the lobby of your building. The feeling of the world passing you by lingers beyond the car ride.

Upstairs, you get Joey settled into the room you haven't changed since she left. She puts her bag on the bed and hangs out in the living room as you put on a pot of coffee. It's too early to be this tipsy. You yawn and your phone once more comes to life.

You swipe it up and tell Joey to help herself to the coffee as you sweep out of the room. You head down the hall and step into your bedroom as you answer, "Mr. Fowler."

"You're busy?" Nick asks.

"It's my day off," you say firmly.

"Yes, we talked about that."

You're quiet. Confused. You try to recall the last time he bothered you outside of work. When you're not being paid for it, you never really hear from him.

"Is something going--" you stop and suppress a hiccup. It's more dehydration than the alcohol. "On?"

"I have guests coming," he says, "thought you might like some overtime."

"Oh, sir, I'm sorry, but--"

"Clearly you're disposed," he says tersely. Is he mad?

"I wasn't expecting--"

"It's fine. It was an offer. I can manage on my own."

"Of course, sir, I wouldn't--"

You flinch as the line cuts and the call goes dead with a bloop. You pull the phone away from your face and furrow your brow. Really? He hung up on you.

You toss your phone on the bed. Whatever. Forget him. Even if you weren't three glasses deep, you wouldn't leave Joey just to kowtow to his pretentious friends.

[tonkatsubowl]

love sick.

✱ warning — the reader is the yandere.

how would the xianzhou boys react to you as a yandere?

blade is definitely into this side of you. however, there are times where he had to calm you down. it was surprising that someone like blade even knew limits...especially when it came to necessary manslaughter.

"y/n." you ignored blade's voice, the warmth of a deceased woman's blood splattering upon your visage as you took another one's life.

this "innocent" woman in particular got a little too bold and tried to flirt with blade, trying seducing him to a form of prostitution sale. of course, he was immensely loyal to you... but he wasn't surprised for the woman's death, as he saw this coming. was he upset at you? definitely not, for he would do the same thing if a man touched or spoke to you in a disgusting way.

"y/n." he called again. "she's dead."

his hand reached towards your shoulder, stopping you in place. you breathed the fresh scent of iron, your distraught and psychotic eyes casting towards blade, and immediately your gaze had softened. decorated with blood, an innocent smile creeps towards your lips as you turn to embrace your lover.

"i just wanted to make sure she learned her lesson too." you reply, snuggling your face into blade's chest, smearing the woman's blood from your face all over his clothing.

"i'm sure she did. but now we have to bury the body."

"she doesn't deserve a burial," you nearly snap, "i'll just burn her body to crisp."

blade's gaze softens, pressing his thumb against your lips, "shh. take it easy, y/n. i'll handle it."

your eyes sparkle, but you nodded. you knew kafka didn't like seeing you in this mess, but you enjoyed it whenever you came back to the stellaron hunters and kafka had a handkerchief in hand. though, she did scold you a few times... and now blade doesn't want you to have that sort of attention from kafka.

dan heng would definitely try to find ways to not trigger this side of you. he knew you have a good heart and you would do anything to help and save the astral express team, but whenever it came to other women flirting with him and trying to seduce him... that was when you snapped.

you definitely couldn't control this side of you, and himeko and welt would continue to deeply monitor your well being whenever these sorts of things happened. there were multiple incidents where you've taken a few lives because they simply looked at dan heng's direction... but you've improved a bit? you were at least killing women and random people who decided to flirt with your lover, rather than anyone who sneezed in his direction at least.

"y/n, please..." the sounds of you ripping a woman's head apart from her body echoed through the halls, covering your body with her beautiful blood. you breathed, smiling through it all. unable to think.

but dan heng couldn't stop you. he was too late.

"y/n!"

it was an innocent saleswoman who used flirtation to gain sales, and it was nothing more... nothing less. it was purely business related. but your jealousy got the best of you.

his voice finally snap you back to reality, your hand raised to stab her one more time came to a stop. you drop your weapon, looking to dan heng. your eyes softened, no longer were they... so psychotic. so evil.

"ah. there you are! i was looking for you," you innocently beamed, waddling up to him as if nothing had occurred.

right, this was an issue, too. you killed, and you don't remember what happened. or rather you just acted like nothing happened.

"are you okay? i really missed you," you innocently said to dan heng as you embraced him, his arms reluctantly returning the hug.

if he didn't return the affection, you would become worse.

"i was moreso worried about you, but i missed you too," dan heng said in a soft tone, "let's clean you up."

he'll have to report another incident to welt and himeko.

jing yuan has monitored your well being for a while, and has used different methods of therapeutic sessions to help you maintain this side of you... or get rid of it. he knew you had a killer instinct that's hidden inside of you that you cannot control, whatsoever. and it was... terrifying. not even yanqing or fu xuan really trusted you, even doubting their general because of you.

"get rid of them. they're going to cause you trouble." fu xuan would say to jing yuan. and boy, if you heard that? a life would be taken away. and it wouldn't be yours. you were significantly stronger than fu xuan, which was why she tends to stay away from you.

yanqing didn't want to make a comment. he knew you were always listening at one point. there was an incident where you nearly killed fu xuan because of her comments, but after some restraint, magic and a bit of therapeutic sessions, you had... improved. a bit. just a bit.

"i believe in them." jing yuan would say. "i never want to give up on them."

and even if you were currently killing some random woman right now for talking about wishing to be wed to general jing yuan, he would still love you. he would try to change you.

"that's enough, y/n."

he came to retrieve you after knowing you were headed out to kill this woman. your hands stopped as he reached out, grabbing your wrists, pulling you closer to his chest. "that's enough."

you breathed, leaning into his touch, innocently smiling faintly. you were finally "awake", no longer focused on a mere corpse. "oh, jing yuan," you cooed, "sorry, i got distracted. i was heading out to grab you a drink, and—"

"it's alright," jing yuan murmured, eyeing on the corpse. goodness, you were getting collectively worse with these murders. never had he seen these types of deaths before, even in his years on the battlefield. "let's get you back home. i'll have the cloud knights clean this up for you."

it was time for some therapeutic sessions again.

[ravenelyx]

Strained - Ominis Gaunt

Pairing: Ominis Gaunt x Fem!Reader

Word count: 0.97k

Warnings: Fluff, headaches, Ominis is worried and cute

Summary: Exams have taken a toll on you and your health - especially your eyes. Thankfully, Ominis is there to take care of you.

A/N: I've been suffering headaches for a week because of exams, so here I am - indulging.

Masterlist

You can find the full fanfic on ao3 as well :)

Sebastian's version

"Love? Are you alright?"

The two of them had been lounging together in the Undercroft for the last hour. She laid on the ground, her head on his lap as he gently ran a hand through her hair and let his fingertips drift on her face, imprinting her in his memories like he did every day.

That was until she squinted her eyes and squeezed them shut, wincing slightly.

"Headache," she simply replied, for what felt like the millionth time that week. His heart dropped in concern.

"Don't you think it's time to pay a visit to Nurse Blainey?" He asked and pressed his thumb on the centre of her forehead, between her eyebrows, to rub soothing circles.

"I'll be fine. I'm used to them," she replied. That only heightened his worry.

"I don't want you to be in pain, love. Please promise me you'll pay her a visit," he sighed, his tone pretendedly calm and collected, although she knew it was only a façade.

He glided a hand on her scalp, gently massaging her head.

"I just need an analgesic, is all," she sighed, leaning her head further into his lap.

"You've been taking an awful lot of medication lately, all because of these headaches. I'm sure the nurse will see to it and decide the best route to take. Why won't you–"

"There's nothing to worry about Ominis, it's just my eyes," she interrupted, slurring her words a bit as drowsiness gradually overcame her body at his gentle ministrations.

He stopped in his tracks, his hand stilling as he took in her words, and she groaned in displeasure.

"Y-Your eyes? Are you—? Did something happen to your eyes?" He asked, now even more worried as his fingers slowly found her eyelids. "Are you losing your sight?"

She looked up at him and gave him a small smile, and he felt her cheekbones bump the side of his palm as she did so.

"No, love, I just…" She sighed again, taking his hand in hers and placing a kiss on his knuckles. "I've been studying a lot lately for our exams, you know, and I think I've been straining my eyes quite a bit."

He nodded in understanding, his chest a little lighter, but he still felt that same dejection, learning that she had been in pain for the last week.

"You need to rest, love. Close your eyes," he whispered, resuming his massage on her scalp and forehead. "So what do you feel when it happens?"

She hummed, letting her head fall back on his thighs. "They simply get very dry, and it's hard for me to keep them open. The light hurts, and before I know it, I feel the back of my eyes hurting."

"Ah," he nodded again, his hands slow and steady and he attempted to soothe her pain. He didn't know what it was like to feel pain in his eyes because of straining, but he tried to imagine it. He recalled the time when Marvolo poked his eyelids with his wand as a mockery for his blindness, and the pain he felt back then, and he shivered. If that was what she was feeling, then he would not have her suffer like that.

"Come on, I'll take you to the Hospital Wing," he said earnestly, ceasing his movements and motioning for her to stand up.

"I don't need that, Ominis, I simply need a pain-relieving potion or pill and I'll be fine," she said quietly. The relaxing atmosphere had brought her to a slumber, and despite her nerves burning, she felt the pain slowly wash away as her eyes rested.

"I won't take no for an answer."

She exhaled softly and let her eyelids flutter open, wincing at the light of the torches around her. As she stood up, she felt the pain come back like a boulder falling on her retinas. She sighed and ignored it, standing up and feeling that familiar sense of nausea she grew accustomed to.

"Let's go, then."

She followed Ominis as he zealously guided her through the corridors, her eyes falling shut every once in a while when the lights were too bright or the chattering around them too loud.

As expected, Nurse Blainey scolded her for being careless with her health, and gave her a Pain-soothing Potion, just as she had previously told the blond.

"You need glasses, Miss," the Nurse said curtly, before leaving the room and muttering under her breath.

"Glasses? You have never told me you had an eye condition," Ominis said, quirking up a brow, silently demanding an explanation. She sighed again.

"I've had myopia for a while, and it can't be cured with magic for some reason. I just… My glasses make my eyes hurt even more, so I don't wear them," she shrugged, hoping he would drop the subject. He didn't.

"Perhaps you need to switch your prescription, or buy new lenses that fit your eyes," he said gently, taking her hand in his again. "You can't carry on like this and be in pain everyday. I hate seeing you unwell."

She nodded, "okay," and rested her head on the pillow of her hospital bed. The blond sat on the chair next to it and began caressing her hand soothingly.

"Next time we go to London, we will pay a visit to a muggle eye doctor. And don't protest," he added as he heard her breath hitch as if about to answer him. She bit her lip.

"As you wish. If it makes you feel better or…" She squeezed his hand slightly, "...less worried."

"It does," he then gave her a fond smile. "You'll be well again in no time."

They stayed like this for a while, with Ominis caressing her hand and massaging her temples as she drifted off to sleep, finally relieved of her pain.

[holybibly]

Im so embarrass to ask this request..

Well im kind of new😭

Honestly can u do mommy dom hwa...

Like mommy hwa is so hot and dom hwa too 🤭🤭 so why not both🤭 i have read many fics abt mommy hwa it just sooo sexy...

I hope u will accept my request!!:3

Well, well, well, I see that all my bunnies just can't get enough of mommy Hwa from Pretty Flushed, and they want more.

Well, I'll give you more, just don't blame me later for getting more than you could bite.

Dom mommy Seonghwa punishing his little naughty girl for disobedience.

"How many times do I have to tell you before you learn your lesson? Mommy doesn't like naughty girls. And you, you were very naughty today..." Seonghwa's velvety voice sounds in your ears like molten honey on your skin, burning and sweet.

Your arms are tied to the headboard with silk ribbons, and your legs are spread wide so that your wet, swollen pussy is exposed to his gaze. Seonghwa's long fingers are glistening in the dim light of the bedroom, completely covered in your juices as they slide in and out of you with a sadistic slowness. You want to cum desperately, wanting this almost painfully, wanting more, but this is how you get punished.

Seonghwa will continue this exquisite torture as long as he wants.

"I'm so sorry, mommy... I didn't mean it like that; I swear, it's just..."

A hard slap on the tender skin on the inside of your thigh made you whimper loudly and close your eyes from the searing but deliciously pleasant pain. Your mind was clouded by the amazing sensation of his skilled fingers being inside of you.

You were so close to your sweet release, but Seonghwa pulled his fingers out of you with a loud squelching sound and instead slapped the palm of his hand against your leaking, slutty cunt. All you could do was sob pathetically in response, accepting everything your mommy thought you deserved.

In Seonghwa's eyes, you were so adorable—all tied up and completely submissive to him.

"Bad girls can't come, sweetheart. They don't deserve to be released in the slightest, do you understand?" God, why does he have to use that royal condescending tone with you at this moment?

You hadn't been able to bring yourself to look him in the eye. You weren't even sure what it was you had done to unleash this monster in front of you. Your mommy, who is always so sweet and gentle, is completely different from the devilish man in front of you. Usually,  Seonghwa is not so harsh with the punishment, but today, my God, something had set him off.

"Mommy...p-please let me cum...I'm so sorry, I swear I'll be obedient..."

Slap! And another one after that: your legs automatically want to close up; this kind of stimulation is too exhausting and painful for you at the moment. But you know better than to provoke Seonghwa like that. You should also learn to keep your pretty little mouth shut before you let him do it for you.

And he'll do it right now. His beautiful, hard cock, long and stringy, dripping with pre-cum, ends up right in front of your face. Seonghwa smiles arrogantly as he unties the silk from your wrists, freeing your hands, and before you can react, the sudden thrust of his hips pushes his thick cock into your mouth, causing you to choke on it.

"Ah, ah, be a good girl and take mommy's dick in your fucking mouth." He grasps you roughly by the hair and tilts your head so that you can see all of his handsome features, a dark grin spreading across his sensual lips. "Perhaps mommy will be kind enough to finish off your punishment in here and let you come on my big, fat cock. You'd like that, sweetheart. Wouldn't you?" You could only nod at his words. Your face, so swollen and red from crying, was a sight for his eyes.

His hips begin to move slowly, and you try to relax your jaw in an attempt to ease the slight pain caused by the sudden intrusion. Your watery eyes closing, thick tears streaming freely down your face, Seonghwa's face freezes into a sadistic expression as he tightens his grip on your hair, his other hand wrapped around your neck in a light and gentle stranglehold, feeling the outline of his cock beneath his palm each time he enters your mouth.

"That's it, little girl; be obedient and please your mommy."

Seonghwa's pace begins to increase fast and mercilessly, making you gasp each time his cock plunges deep into your throat; it's a satisfying sound for him. Hwa growls above you, his voice so deep and sexy that you think you could cum just from the sound of it.

His rough thrusts continue until he feels that he's about to cum, and he quickly pulls away from you with a loud pop as his cock leaves your mouth, a trail of saliva connecting the red, swollen head of his cock to your lips. He strokes your tear-stained cheek, laughing softly at the completely lost expression on your face.

"My god, you've been such a good girl for mommy. I think you've earned your reward now, have you? Hmm?" Seonghwa could see the stars shining in your eyes as you nodded furiously at him, so eager to please him and to enjoy the sweet feeling of orgasm from him. "Look how charming you are. Can't you always be as obedient as you are now? You just have to be nice, and mommy won't punish you, darling. Get down on all fours, baby, and mommy is going to give you the best orgasm of your  life." Like an obedient little kitten, you obeyed without question.

When you got down on all fours, you deliberately lifted your ass higher, shaking it too eagerly, desperate to come as soon as possible and to have Seonghwa shower you with care and love when it's all over.

“Good girls, stay put and wait patiently. You're a good girl, aren't you?"

You immediately stopped all of your movements, as you did not want to upset him again. Seonghwa's hands grabbed your ass cheeks and spread them apart. He watched as your cunt literally squeezed on nothing, the humiliation spreading through your body like a tidal wave.

Seonghwa just laughed at this, which made you whimper and push your ass towards him, which only resulted in a hard, hard slap on the cheek of your soft ass. The mark on his palm turned your skin an angry pink.

"If you keep this up, I'm going to fucking put you back where you were, and you won't be able to come until you've learned to obey me. If you keep acting like a bitch, you won't get nothing, baby. Or have you forgotten that mommy doesn't like naughty girls?" He asked. His soft tone changed so quickly, back to a cold, arrogant distance, and it scared you, so you just nodded obediently, frozen, waiting for Seonghwa to decide what to do with you next.

For a moment, you were completely lost in your thoughts. Then you felt your walls begin to stretch around the thick girth of Seonghwa's cock, causing you to moan loudly and long.

"Hmm, my love, I have prepared you so well, and you are still so tense? How many times does your mommy have to fuck your slutty little cunt for you to be able to take my dick with a single thrust?" The sudden movement of his hips made you whimper, and you buried your face in the pillow.

"Please, mommy..."

He holds you in his arms from behind, his arms wrapped around your belly, his eyes hooded with lust as he leans down to your face and whispers in your ear.

"I love you so much...baby, do you want to come on my cock, baby girl? My little girl wants to come so badly, doesn't she?"

A wave of pleasure shoots through you as he rubs his fingers quickly and persistently against your clit - it was too intense for you, your orgasm hitting you like a fast train—your knees buckle under him, and you fall limply to the bed as your pussy clench around his cock. As Seonghwa continues to fuck you mercilessly, overstimulating your entire body, your hot tears soak the pillow, leaving you looking like a complete mess.

"Mommy, no more; it's too much. Please! T-too m-much!"

Seonghwa bites the back of your neck, leaving his possessive mark, and you can feel his chest vibrate against your back as he moans into your skin with a guttural sound.

"Didn't you say that was what you wanted? A little girl can't take everything that is given to her? That's a shame, because I'm going to take that cunt as much as I want."

His thrusts are hard and fast, the stimulation too intense to resist, and you come all over his cock again. You moan loudly as the head of his cock hits the sensitive bundle of nerves inside you.

"You are so sensitive, my love. Your cunt gives me such a good squeeze." Seonghwa's fingers rub against your clit again, your loud cries muffled by the pillow as you bite down on the fabric, and you squirm under him, hoping he'll finally get off you and give you a break.

Not satisfied with what you have done, he turns you over on your back, lifts your legs up to your chest, and fucks you hard in the mating pressure position. In this position, his cock goes much deeper into you. All you can do is hold on to his hand and squeeze it hard. You were totally helpless under him. You only wanted one orgasm after hours of torturing him with your fingers. But in the end, you got more than you could bite off.

"Well, darling, don't cry... shh... I'll definitely take care of you afterwards, OK? My girl, you treat me so well; mommy will feed you so well with her cum; you will be warm and full, my darling." His breathing was ragged; he made a few more sharp thrusts, and his hips calmed down as he began to empty his cum into you, filling you to the brim. The feeling of being so filled made you cum all around him again, and you lay completely limp on the bed. Your eyelids were heavy, your body was completely boneless, and your mind was far away and unfocused from all the orgasms you had been through.

"I hope that you have learned your lesson, my darling, and that you will continue to be an obedient and good little girl. Now, let your mommy take care of you, my little one." Seonghwa said as he placed a soft kiss on your tear-stained cheek.

No matter how rude he was to you, you always knew that Hwa would treat you like royalty afterwards, as confirmation of what you already knew very well: how much he loved you.

[selfloverrrrrr]

More yandere gojo

I just opened to upload the next story and saw this request😭💕....

Go read it.... I hope you will like it....<3

_________________________________________

Sensei's Desire~

Warning: dark content, smut, heavy smut, noncon, jealousy, unprotected sex, yandere gojo, teasing.....

Masterlist

I was new in jujutsu high. Just admitted there. I was in the first year. I was in grade 4. Yes I am weak... And I'm expecting it. That's why I joined jujutsu high. I couldn't even use my own cursed energy. the higher ups told me that Gojo Satoru is going to help to learn my cursed technique. But who knew that Gojo Satoru was obsessed with me from the day he saw me. Day and all time he just think about me.

The jujutsu high gave me my own room. It was my first day at the jujutsu high. I just woke up and brushd my teeth. I was going to take a bath when I saw a box on my door way. I took the box inside and opened it. It was my school uniform. I became happy seeing my uniform. I quickly went to the shower and took a shower.

After the shower I wear my new uniform. Everything was fine but the skirt was a little....yk short. But I ignored it and went outside. I met Nobara at jujutsu. I went towards her with a smile on my face. She hugged me. " Heyyy.... Me , Megumi and Yuji are going to pick some snacks....Do you wanna go with us?" She asked me. " Yeah sure.... I'm going to wash room. I'll meet you in class then?" I replied. " Ohkey " she said and went to classroom.

I was going towards the washroom when I bumped into someone. None other than Gojo Satoru. He was carrying some papers which were on the floor because of our bumping. "Oh sensei.... I'm sorry I didn't saw you coming" I apologized. "It's ok.... Preety girls always do some mistakes you know..." He flirted with me and I blushed at his flirt.

He smirked at me. " You not gonna help me...?" He spoke. "Huh?" I asked being confused. " To grab the papers on the floor" he replied. " Oh yeah.... sure" I replied and bend down to grab those papers infront of him. He just stand there and started at my ass. I collected all the papers and give it to him. He quickly snatched away the papers from me and hold it infront of him to cover his boner he got from the thing just happened. After giving him the papers I went to washroom and then went out with Nobara, Megumi and Yuji.

A week passed. Every thing was going well. Atleast I guess so. Gojo didn't stop staking me without my knowing. After a week one day me and Nobara were talking with each other. When Yuta come. " Hey... Tonight all of us are going to a party.... will you come too" he asked. " Yes SUREEEE" Nobara replied. Then Yuta looked at me. " Oh...um no... actually I don't drink alcohol." I replied. Suddenly heard another male voice " Me too..." It was Gojo sensei. " But I'm still going there...yk it's fun.... Come on... say yes... You don't have to drink alcohol." He said. " Ah...um okey then Yuta senpai... I'm coming too" I replied to yuta. He smiled back. And Gojo smirked.

After I come back to my room I went to my closet to pick up a dress for the night. I took a black tight bodycon dress. Perfect for the night. I took a quick shower and wore the dress and put on my makeup. Now I was totally ready. Then I went out of my room and took a cab and went to the party.

When I entered there first I saw Maki and Nobara. They hugged me and took me inside. Then I saw Yuta. " Oh y/n you came... I'm glad" he said with a genuine smile on his face and walk towards me for a hug. I hugged him back. " Yes yuta senpai" I replied him. Then I turned to a couch where everyone was sitting. From the time I entered there Gojo's eyes were fixed on me. I sit on the couch. " You're looking hot... tonight" Megumi said with a smirk. " Oh... thank you" I replied with a small blush.

I started talking with the girls. Megumi's eyes were scanning my whole body. Then his eyes fixed on my clivage. He was mentally fucking me. Imagining me under him and I'm SCREAMING his name while he is fucking me hard. He was imagining those in his mind. And Gojo noticed that. Ofcourse his six eyes telling him. He tried his best to control himself from killing Megumi.

The party went well. We enjoyed very much. Now it was too night. I was searching for Nobara to go back home. I saw Megumi so I went to him and asked him if he seen Nobara. " Nobara is too drunk.... she can't even stand by herself.... she's staying here tonight.." he said. " Oh... I see" I replied. " You can stay here too...yk" he said with a smirk. I was about to reply him when I heard another male voice " no... I'm going home too... I'm gonna give her a ride to her droom." I turned to see who it was. I saw Gojo sensei.

" oh... sensei.... You're leaving too... that will be fine then.... Megumi then you please tell everyone that I'm leaving... okey?... Bye" I said " okey then.... bye" Megumi replied and me and Gojo went to the parking lot towards Gojo's car. He opened the back door for me and I went in. Then he went to the driver seat and locked the door. " Thank you sensei.... For giving me the ride..." I said. " Oh you don't have to thank me.... I should thank you for accepting my offer...." He said. " Thanking me?... But why?" I asked. " Oh you'll know soon" he replied and start the car.

Sensei was driving the car. Suddenly the car stopped. When I saw outside it was a empty dark road. Gojo opened his door and get out of the car and opened the back door. " Is anything wrong sensei?" I asked. He got into the back sit and closed the door. " You asking something?" He asked with a smirk. The way he spoke that line made me understand his intention and I went to open the door of my side. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards him. " Trying to run ~?" He cooed in my ear.

He pulled me on his lap and started kissing me roughly. I barely can breathe. He grinned me on his crotch. I whispered in the kiss. I tried to stop him but he didn't stop. When he was fully satisfied with the kiss...he stopped. I was breathing heavily, gasping for air. Suddenly I felt he pulled down the upper portion of my dress. When I looked for what he was doing..... He already took off my bra and threw it on the car floor.

He looked at those with lust in his eyes and didn't waste any time, crashed his mouth on my breast licking, sucking and teasing the nipple and squeezing the other one with his hand. I moaned in the sensetion. I grabbed his hair and tried to stop him by pulling it. He finally stopped and looked at me. He slapped me so hard on my face. Tear came in my eyes. " How dare you to pull your sensei's hair, fucking slut!!!!!" He screamed on my face.

He pulled up the bottom portion of my dress and then took off my pantie. He stared at my pussy with hungry eyes. He rubbed his finger on my clit and gasped " so wet." Then he licked my pussy. He undo his pant still staring at my pussy.

His dick sprang out. It was too big and too thick. Fear grabbed me by my neck. " S-sensei no no no... P-please no... s-stop" I begged but didn't even listen to me. He threw me on the sit while stroking himself with his one hand. Then he pressed the tip of his dick on my clit and started rubbing it.

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He didn't stop his movements. He was teasing me. I was just a moaning mess. But still didn't stop his movements.

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Then he finally stopped. He positioned himself with my entrance. I tried to push him away but that was nothing for THE STRONGEST.

He slammed his whole dick inside me in one slide. I scremed. He didn't even give me time to adjust his size and started thursting in and out roughly. My legs were shaking with pain and begging him to stop. And he was licking it so much. His thurst became harder and harder. I clenched around him tightly and he moaned loudly "ahhhh....so... t-t-tight ". " Why are you doing this to me" I asked sobbing. " WHY SHOULDN'T I???? every time..... Every fucking time you pass by me I get a boner.... Couldn't myself.... Fucking obsessed with you!!!!!.... Now it's finally happening" he whispered in my ear.

He started rubbing my clit with his thumb and I bite his shoulder scratched his back to control myself. With a few more thurst I came. He was still thursting roughly. I felt his cock pulsing inside me. I was still begging him to stop but he ignored. Within a minute he came inside me I could feel his seed inside me. He pulled out. I fainted there for the thing just happened .

" You just a slut. Nothing but a slut. My slut. Only mine. I wouldn't let anyone take you.... Mine..... Just mineeeee" He whispered in my ear while stroking my hair with his hand .

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[angelltheninth]

Love at First Sight with Beelzebub

Pairing: Beelzebub x Fem!Reader

Tags: fluff, crushes, love at first sight (Reader already had a crush), blind date, hand kissing

Fluffober Day 9: At First Sight

A/N: I don't know how to cook but I would learn for him. It was very sweet (cause he's the Sin of Gluttony) to write this for flufftober.

The blind date was all his brothers idea, according to them Beel needed to hang out with people outside of school and his family. Yes you were from his school too, but you meet him at a nice café, where he surprised you by getting there early and picking the perfect spot to catch the warmth of the sun.

"Save yo- uh... a... sweet. I mean seat. I thought it would be a nice spot. We can pick another if you want, I know my brothers put you up to this so I wanted to make sure you had the best seat in the house. This isn't too awkward for you is it?"

He seemed nervous but if only he knew you were even more so, from watching admiring him from afar. Part of you thought his brothers were playing a prank on you but no, this was really happening. Although it didn't seem like Beel knew who you were before you told him you went to the same school. It was fine, you didn't want to be a bother so you kept your affections to yourself, but now, maybe you didn't have to. For you, when you saw him first, how much he was smiling when he got presented with sweets during the School Festival, the ones you made, your heart was his from that day on.

"Never been in here before. Have you? Have any nice recommendations? We can take something to share if you want, might be more uhm... romantic? Ah, can you tell I don't do this too often? You think I'm sweet? T-Thank you."

Beel notes how much you're looking at the menu, very critically, with your lips pursed together, and for some reason his eyes drift off to your lips more often then the menu. He found your voice very nice so he didn't mind if you suggested and ordered for him. When the food arrives it looks absolutely mouthwatering but he lets you have the first bite of his dish.

"It's the gentlemanly thing to do. Besides you picked it for me, you should get the first bite. You're giving me a bite of yours too? Oh shi- ah! That- tastes pretty good actually, are you still up for shaking it? Cause if not, you can have all of it."

While you're eating you notice a bit of whipped cream on the side of his mouth. When you reach for him Beel backs away on instinct, always protective of his food. You chuckle and reach again, wiping it away with our thumb. Oh... why did his heartrate speed up from that? It's nothing he hasn't done before, or to his friends. Is it because this is supposed to be a date so it feels more romantic to him? And why does he feel like he wants you to do that again, but with your mouth?

"Despite my brothers putting you up to this, I'm having a really nice time with you. Can we do this again sometime, but, you know, not arranged? I know a really good place we can go to. Is it fancy? No, not at all, but I'd love to see you in a dress sometime. Eh... sorry, is that weird? You'd look really pretty in one."

As soon as it's time to leave Beel takes your hand almost instinctively. When you don't move away he steps a little bit closer, despite it being pretty warm outside. Offers to buy you snacks because food is his love language and he's sharing it with you. When you reach for the snacks with him he pauses, kisses your hand and thanks you for a wunnerful time. It's no coincidence that he chose to give you heart shaped chocolate.

"This is for you, I hope you like them. Thank you, it's been really nice for me as well. Since we go to the same school, would you like to eat lunch with me some time? No, not with my brothers there, just you and I. Sure, that can be our second date. I'll meet you on the rooftop then."

[jazeswhbhaven]

Maybe I want Him to Bite...(Lucifer Selfie Card Prologue React III) *Spoilers*

You know the drill lovelies...back it up to part 2 if this is the first part you're seeing!! ->

From there you can be linked back to Part 1 if you haven't read that first either. If you've read both, yay you made it to the final part! Let's goooo (༎ຶꈊ༎ຶ╬)

Alright so let's see what' this goofy ahh bitch did...

We done broke all the rules up in here and I'm-

Good LORD he looks like that????

I was startled because I'm like oh no boo you gonna have to warn me before you pull a "jeff the killer, creepypasta, the rake, smile dog" on me. /j

LMAO I can hear this even though MC doesn't have a set voice.

And everyone else was silent asf like not saying a goddamn thing. Even Gamigin who's usually loud as fuck was saying nothing. LMAO

Yes MC, you did. All in order too like? XD Even though this is some shit I'd do personally, I would also be like "Oh damn I didn't die??"

And Lucifer was like "What are you talking about?" and MC was panicking trying to get an answer from the nobles being like hello????? but silently and Marbas and Morax hit em' with the-

"Ah so staring at him and touch his snake doesn't do anything. Got it."

This would have been me.

Because what do you mean?????? YOU HAD RULES AND WAS JUST THROWING MC OUT THERE WITHOUT CONFIRMATION????

This is why I have trust issues. Lol

So it turns out Lucifer was reacting the way he was out of being startled, not because he was going to end someone's life. But I think we all know what he looks like when he actually is out here in murder mode. The event was clear in that regard.

So Lucifer calms down the snake on his clothing, and MC comes up to also touch it out of curiosity. So this tells us, the snake doesn't really cause any harm per say...but I'm sure it does something more so give Lucifer the power to do something.

Snake boi

MC apologizes and well Lucifer doesn't really understand why for a moment (he does laugh at the action though mostly from amusement). But MC lets it be known that they are apologizing to the snake and him.

WAIT WAIT WAIT "Child of Adam?????" AYO? I need more lore about why he said that, which I can only guess why he said that. (and honestly, now I'm thinking of Adam from Hazbin Hotel lmao)

But I mean, this statement just shows he's a least learning to observe MC for their own personality. Not Solomon's.

MC is confused tho, but Lucifer is like "You're amusing"

ANd then????

HE BITE?????

HE BITEEE

h e

b i t e

Stop. Why is this so hot?

HES SO GODDAMN HOT????? BITE ME SOME MORE????!?!?!?!

SO AFTER HE BITES MC HE ORDERS THEM TO TOUCH HIM?

And this is where I was freaking out on that post. Because I had a headcanon I didn't share here, that because of Lucifer's power he could basically order you to do whatever and you'd have to carry that out.

i.e. If he said you aren't allowed to touch yourself ever unless I give you permission, that means no matter how horny you are you can't get off or do anything until he says so and that brings in a whole new kind of foreplay/dominance type thing where literally his word is to be followed. But at the same time....there could be loopholes if you're smart enough to figure them out and want to be a brat.

Whoever gets his card and unlocks the rest of the story?? I'll be waiting patiently.

Okay, so I'm gonna say that from this prologue alone, his selfie card is possibly the best selfie story out of the 5 kings. I was vibin' with Mammon's but this one rightchea? Phew. Mostly because I wanna see how Luci gets down and it already seems like his venom is some kind of aphrodisiac. Because sheesh MC was getting worked up and horny quite immediately from being bitten and you know what?

I wonder if you can extract the venom and have it applied to foods for the same effect...(Don't tell Bimet he'd capitalize on that shit)

But man. I told you all that once his card released I'd probably stop caring about Juno and transition over and well that happened. (still gonna do the reader fic though)

It's funny also that I did this prologue faster than I did his event which I STILL have yet to post about. lol

But as always lovelies, I thank you for sticking through my crazy reacts

-your lovely admin ♥( ˆ⌣ ˆԅ)