#ah yes there he is the ol classic

[starboyshoyo]

Crush Headcanons

Characters: Riddle Rosehearts, Ace Trappola, Leona Kingscholar, Floyd Leech

Fandom: Twisted Wonderland

Genre: Fluff

How the NRC boys act when they have a crush, and how they try to win your heart over!

Riddle Rosehearts

Ah, yes. Our favorite emotionally-stunted dormwarden, Riddle Rosehearts. There’s not much of a precursor to him realizing he has feelings for you. One night, a few months into your friendship, Riddle will notice that he enjoys your company even more so than Trey or Cater. And then it hits him. Oh, he has a crush. 

His demeanor around you will do a complete 180 after that. While before, he would talk casually with you about any and all subject matter, he’s not so sure how to approach it anymore. He’ll go up to you in the hallways between classes and during free periods, back stiff as a board, and ask you to accompany him to the library to run some errands, or he’ll extend a gracious invitation to an unbirthday party next week. Yes, those are his exact words. 

You’ll be left wondering why Riddle’s demeanor has changed so much around you until you realize that he’s following all the steps to initiating a relationship from the NRC Gentleman’s Club Guide to Courting, 3rd Edition. Either that, or Trey will tell you outright to your face that Riddle is trying his best to win you over, he knows you like Riddle too, please just take him off of Trey’s hands for a while. 

Speaking of pawning Riddle off to be someone else’s problem, that’s exactly what most of Heartslabyul dorm will be doing once they catch onto Riddle’s feelings for you. They’ll keep you around as much as possible, because when you’re around, Riddle will try his best to keep himself contained. He could be right in the middle of shouting off with your head to a group of freshmen, but the moment you enter he stops dead in his tracks and lets them off with a warning. The first years scramble out of the room, silently thanking a higher power for sending them a guardian angel in their time of need. 

Cater is the best wingman Riddle could ask for, except that he didn’t ask for him. Regardless of how many times Riddle tells him that he wants to court you himself like a proper romantic candidate, Cater will insist that he needs to be more flashy about it! He can still be a classic man and be a bit more modern! Why doesn’t Riddle take you on a fancy dinner date to Mostro Lounge, instead of another boring ol’ tea party? (Cater definitely gets his head offed for that one). 

Riddle does take one piece of advice to heart, though. Cater suggests that spending time together and doing new things is the best way to get someone to like you, and Riddle thinks that’s reasonable enough. He’ll try to vary the things he invites you to do with him. One day you’ll be helping him paint the roses in the Rose Maze, and other days he’ll take you on a ride on his horse, Vorpal, around the racing track. 

Riddle will slowly lose the awkward formality that he held around you when he realized he liked you as more than a friend. His posture will relax and he’ll begin to talk to you normally again. One thing that won’t change though is the gentlemanly ways he treats you on these ‘trial dates.’ If you’re at dinner he’ll pull out your chair for you and hold the door. When strolling the campus he’ll link his arm in yours. If you’re trying to get a leg up on Vorpal’s back, he’ll hold your hand until you can steady yourself. It’s all very sweet really, and he’ll have a small smile on his face every time he does so.

Ace Trappola

Ace is another case where you’d definitely be friends before he falls for you, but instead of establishing a formal ‘courting period’ like Riddle does, Ace will just… not change. He’s still the same roughish, loveable idiot to you, messing with you at the most inopportune moments and pulling tricks to steal your food. But somehow, he gets a bit softer whenever you’re around. Instead of just calling you a dumbass, he’ll call you my dumbass. That’s just how he shows his affections. 

Ace has had a few encounters with romance before, but he’s never once thought so much about how he must have looked to them. With you, he wants to look cool. He wants to be your number one, your first and best choice! If you’re watching him at basketball practice, he’ll throw you a wink whenever he scores a basket.

Deuce is now his rival, end of story. Whether or not Deuce knows it or even likes you in the first place, Ace will always be trying to one-up him in front of you. Deuce got 79 on his last potionology test? Expect Ace to be studying nonstop for the next week, and return to you with a 79.5. 0.5 points more than Deuce! You can tell who the better man is now, right? 

He’s not shy about his feelings, but he may not confirm them right away either. He’ll call you cute, mess with you, and playfully push you around a bit, letting you know that he likes you. But truth be told he’s a little afraid of the idea that you might not want to be with a troublemaker like him, so he’ll wait to see how you react to his advances. 

If you’re welcoming to them, then expect Ace to step up his game tenfold from then on. He’ll walk you to and from every class of the day, beg you to study with him in his dorm room, even show up at your door in the middle of the night with an armload of your favorite snacks. He’ll grin at you when you open the door, quickly shoving past you and inviting himself in to dump his successful ‘hunt’ on the table. Pick whichever ones you like, he got them all for you!

The best thing about Ace having a crush on you is that no matter what, he will always be your friend, first and foremost. He wants to have fun with you and enjoy life by your side. Laughter is common when you’re around him, and he’ll always be looking for new ways to make you smile. 

Leona Kingscholar

Leona is an odd one. Upon first glance it seems like he doesn’t spare you one look. Sure, you might make friendly conversation with him while in passing, but he’s not showering you with attention at every opportunity like some others. It’s only when you notice that he’s a little more courteous around you than he is with others do you understand his true feelings towards you. 

Leona’s hints are subtle. Whenever you enter a room his ear will twitch as if he has just heard the most interesting tidbit of conversation. If your name is mentioned he might even raise his head to see what’s going on. He’ll keep an eye on you subtly from afar, especially when walking at night, to keep you safe. And a few choice orders from Ruggie later, and Leona will have your favorite food on the plate in front of him. He wants to know what it tastes like, so he can understand the subtlety of your character a bit better. 

This boy feels no need to show off in front of you. He knows he’s strong, you know he’s strong, and so does everyone else. While he wouldn’t mind you seeing him score a goal or two during Spelldrive, he doesn’t feel the need to prove it. If he’s really the game that day though, he’ll look up after scoring, and point directly towards you in the stands. Out of thousands of spectators, he knew exactly where you’ve been the whole time, and though no one else knows who he’s pointing to, he knows you’ll get the message. 

Many people are scared of him, sometimes for good reason. No one sets foot on Savanaclaw dorm territory without him knowing, and usually, it’ll end in a beatdown or a forceful eviction from the premises. With you though, you can wander through the entrance without so much as a comment from the students. Some of them are even friendly to you, waving and shouting greetings. It’s Leona’s orders that they treat you well, after all. 

The housewarden of Savanaclaw dorm is not ashamed of his feelings for you. Why should he be? Does caring about someone he holds in high esteem bring shame upon him? You’re a perfectly suitable romantic option. He’s not going to make a big show of his affection towards you, but he’s not going to hide it. He just lets it be. 

If you notice and take an interest in him too, great. He’ll see you next weekend for a date in the Botanical Gardens. 

Floyd Leech

Floyd is eccentric at times and that carries over to his romantic life. He’s got a pretty face and unique look, so he’s used to getting attention from admirers here and there. Every so often, he’ll flirt back if the mood suits him. But most of the time they’re nothing more than passing flings or amusements. Something about you is different, though. Floyd trusts his intuition. 

Even if he has a fondness for you, you’re not safe from Floyd’s teasing. No one is, not even Azul or Jade. Floyd finds it’s a surefire way to get your attention- poke at you until you swat him away, then grab your hand in his and squeeze- but gently. 

You may not pick up on Floyd’s feelings towards you right away. He’s physically touchy with many people, not just you, and he generally gets a kick out of ‘playing’ with them. When you’re involved though, he’s a bit more amiable. He’ll lay off on the taunts and divert his focus to gifting you unusual compliments.  If no one’s ever complimented you on the comparison of your shoes to a deep sea anchor, then Floyd will do it. 

Floyd’s mood swings are a point of contingency for most people, and he knows this. For that reason he’s all the more appreciative of the empathy you show him- you try to understand how he’s feeling and why he feels that way. He won’t say it out loud but the gratitude shows- he’ll follow through with an action, even if his initial thought on it is negative. Sometimes, it’ll lead to him actually enjoying the activity you’ve roped him into. 

His nicknames for you vary at times, but he’ll always have one favorite one. Sometimes you’re his clamshell, sometimes you’re starfish or pearl. But at the end of the day, you’ll always be his little Shrimpy. 

Even though Floyd can be seen as lazy sometimes, he makes a consistent effort when it comes to spending time with you. It’s not uncommon to walk out of class and get swept up in his wake, then suddenly end up at a new restaurant that opened up in the commercial district to do chocolate-tasting with you. How did you even get there? Who knows.

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

[vaguely-concerned]

I have seen people question whether dios apate minor really needed to happen the way it did. it's the 'this could have been an email' of htn. 'augustine this did not have to be a threesome', I hear people saying. and boy do I have an obnoxious amount of things to say to protest this perfectly sensible assertion so here we go haha

1) yes it absolutely had to be like that. It says so on this piece of paper *hands you a piece of paper that says "because I said so and also it's narratively and thematically Sexy"* in my half-legible handwriting. seeing tamsyn muir describe harrow the ninth as a book about being a kid and realizing your parents probably had sex has given me such validation, I am unstoppable now. (to be serious for a moment, harrow the ninth is essentially a bildungsroman, and the threesome scene does a whole lot of thematic heavy lifting around harrow glimpsing elements of adulthood, relationships, and sexuality she clearly finds at the same time repulsive, bewildering and fascinating, and around opening her and especially our eyes to how much john is just a man with human longings still, under the god stuff. dios apate is crucial plot- and character-wise too -- it's a loadbearing threesome in terms of delivering the clues you need to piece together the mystery plot of the book, which is simply delightful -- but even more so thematically. and then the scene at the end where they confront john gives gideon some of that same opportunity to peek into adulthood and go '...well shit I guess', as a sort of mirror, just without the french kissing that time and more murder. the things magnus and abigail model for the girls about love and adulthood? mercy and augustine are providing the opposite-day batshit insane version of that fhdskjfa, you know, for contrast and spice)

2) listen... it gets lonely out there in deep space with your 'legendary unamorous' brother, two infant pathetic baby kitten sisters who you'll probably have to kill one day when you take another stab at god if they don't manage to get themselves killed along the way on their own, and the two people you've spent the last ten thousand years having separate yet connected married & divorced arcs with and also btw one of them is god... honestly a threesome over the dinner table is probably The most well-adjusted reaction one might hope for under those circumstances

3) on a characterization level I think Augustine is actually doing something incredibly deliberate with it: he's presenting John with yet another chance to admit what he did. which is notable especially since the deal he and mercy agree on as a condition for the threesome to happen at all seems to be that they're going to give the ol' godslaying another game try sooner rather than later. (I get the sense that it's not so much that he disagrees with her ultimate goal so much as that he thinks she's being dangerously indiscreet and hasty going about it, before. “though I think it will be the death of us,” huh.)

notice how he's structuring the whole thing: he's invoking the intimacy and love in their strange little threeway relationship and how long it's been by truly playing along with john's 'we're a happy family really when we're at home! :)' delusion (helped along by lowered inhibitions via enormous amounts of alcohol and what I've previously described as a joint mercy/augustine leyendecker themed thirst trap. ah, a classic). he brings up alecto and what happened to her -- or rather, he is clever enough to make john bring up alecto and how she is totally dead, right?? by seeming to make a careless statement that leads there and then acting contrite about it after. he (helped along by mercy, who I think realizes exactly what he's doing -- this is very much a two-man con) brings up how much they all loved their cavaliers, and wow funny how that's been haunting us for ten thousand years now huh :) wow, a lot of our other lyctor friends slash family sure are super dead in the name of some unknowable greater reason neither of us quite grasp and that you won't fucking tell us, aren't they. these are all the main grievances he and mercy confront john about at the end of the book, but put forth much more subtly and not phrased as an accusation -- he's baring his and mercy's vulnerabilities as bait, essentially. if john had, say, a conscience where his conscience should be instead of a black hole, it probably should have stirred something in him.

(also let me just say... the way augustine just takes a pneumatic drill to the TWO tender spots g1deon seems to have and then has the audacity to be like 'oh dear. did that upset him. ooof my bad *loooong dead-eyed slurp of his wine*' is just sooo... he's such a bitch!!! he's the only person who could ever have held their own in a ten-thousand-year bitch-off with mercy and I love him so much. well even if it wasn't all to get g1deon into murder range for harrow I think he wouldn't enjoy sticking around for the 'getting our tongues on god' part of the evening so maybe it's a kindness, really, and totally not pent-up aggression from the last twenty years or so breaking through)

he is all but shaking john by the lapels begging him to just... come clean about it already, to stop thinking he's still kidding everyone else along with himself. it's clear throughout the book that augustine knows exactly what john is at this point -- and all of the most cynical things he does say about it turn out to be distressingly right. john is always less sentimental than you'd think. john wouldn't forgive mercy, he will abandon in a heartbeat anything that isn’t necessary to him anymore, whether emotionally or in some other way. and still he seems to hold out some desperate absurd hope that the man he wants, the man he thought was there, is in there, somewhere deep deep down, if he just gives him the chance to show himself.

(mercy definitely has her own side of this whole thing, I'm just focusing more on augustine because this evening was like. his idea in the first place and I feel like we can Read Some Things into that fact lol. now that we have both ntn and htn to go from I sort of have this sense that the things augustine wants from john are more... personal? more interpersonal? they both love him equally, but mercy's love seems tinged slightly more towards the religious (augustine accuses her of knowing 'only worship without adoration', which like... also the eight house's entire Vibe lol) -- mercy at the end of that book is totally a person breaking up with GOD, not just with john -- while augustine's vibe is more like a man in the last not-with-a-bang-but-a-whimper days of a marriage that sort of felt like it could have been something real and good once but all your illusions about it have since been taken from you and trampled underfoot into the mud and you've had the divorce papers signed and ready in a drawer for over a year now, hell, as it turns out, is other people etc. lmao)

having a threesome over the dinner table with god is one thing, having a threesome over the dinner table centered on the one man and god who has yet again let you down in a way so fundamental it can barely fit into words and who you both still love in a way anyway, miserably, and also just reaffirmed your joint resolution to murder (all under the pretense that it gives your baby sisters the chance to murder your brother of ten thousand years yeah that's why this is happening no other underlying aching emotional motivations here haha)... listen mercy and augustine are simply on a different level, theologically. they've added horny shrimp colours to the religious spectrum. who else does it like them

[tizeline]

So Shelldon in Rise is like a son to Donnie but in this au is he more like a brother since he built him at a much younger age?

Because man

Sometimes a family is just you (a mutant turtle), your human sister, your robot brother you created, your mutated rat, formally human action star, father, an evil goat man as a second father and your 3 other turtle brothers who live with the goat man

Ah yes, the good ol' classic nuclear family!

But yeah, I would describe Donnie's and Shelldon's relationship as more brother-like in the AU

[belovedblabber]

Ok time to make my hopefully coherent adjacent post about the whole ‘John made Alecto look like Barbie’ thing. Also this goes out to @opticor and @2impostors​ for the interest in my semi-coherent thoughts on this topic. 

I’ve seen people reading it as like ‘wow John took the soul of the earth and made her look like Barbie what a typical dude thing to do’ and personally I don’t at all vibe with that reading of it so now I am turning some rambly tags I made into a proper post. 

I’m going to start by posting a crappily highlighted passage, as is my wont:

I think one aspect of this that people misconstrue is “I wanted to make you the most beautiful body I could think of.” I think a lot of people are taking this as  beautiful=sexy=John is super gross and wanted to make the earth a sexy hot Barbie body. 

However, I very much read this as John, who loved the earth so much, wanting to make a beautiful vessel for the earth’s soul. I don’t think ‘sexy’ is the right way to interpret this one. There’s a big ol’ gulf between that ‘beautiful’ and the way people seem to be reading it as ‘sexy.’ Now is there a lot to unpack and think about in all of this? Yes. Is it ‘John is gross and made Alecto sexy because he’s gross and gave her the classic sexy lady body of Barbie?’ No. 

And also very key here is “Most of what had made me John had gone somewhere else. There were a few little thoughts left...a handful of things that made me me...”

I think it’s really worth keeping in mind here that in this moment John was barely holding onto anything of himself and thus turned to one of the few things he had left to grab at, aka a childhood memory of playing at his grandma’s house. And more specifically of playing with his mom’s old Barbie:

He was eating the soul of the earth and barely holding onto his own identity and personhood and turned to one of the few scraps of himself that remained. His memory of playing with his mom’s old Barbie as a kid was one of the few things he had left in that moment, and that was what his fragmented mind reached out to and grabbed onto as something beautiful. The way he talks about the Hollywood Hair Barbie is also very deeply not in the realm of like, ‘wow Barbie is so sexy and I wanted to make the earth sexy’ sdfghjk. He talks about her “little gold outfit and her long yellow hair.” He thinks she was “the best,” and “got to have all the adventures.” Sorry but this really doesn’t read as ‘ah yes Barbie, the sexiest of women. A doll I lusted over’ asdfghj. 

In a moment of almost completely losing his personhood and identity, John reached out to that memory and that very childlike love for something he’d found beautiful, and that was what his mind held onto. 

John is also very notably defensive about the fact that this was what he chose for Alecto. He seems to view this as something embarrassing. He’s not bragging about making a sexy body, he’s sort of self-consciously trying to explain why his torn to shreds mind grabbed at that form. 

When he made Alecto he wasn’t thinking in any coherent fashion. His broken mind was grabbing at his most basic, simple memories to find something beautiful. He wanted to give her a vessel that could have pretty yellow hair and have all the adventures. 

Also ngl I really don’t see ‘I loved playing with my mom’s old Barbie and having her go on adventures and I loved her pretty hair and her golden outfit’ as a typical dude thing. 

Like there is certainly a lot to think about vis a vis John’s view of himself as creator, and in how he also compares her to a Christmas tree fairy, a Renaissance angel, Adam and Eve, and Galatea. He evokes all of these when describing her, not just Barbie (and he also calls her “Frankenstein’s monster with long yellow hair.”) I think there is a TON to think over and discuss with all of that. (The relevant passage for those comparisons is on pg. 409 of NtN for the record). But yeah, there is a lot to analyze in the things he evokes in describing his act of creation (for one I find it interesting that  not all of them are ‘female,’ so to speak). There’s a lot to think about in terms of how he gave parts of himself to make her ( “I ripped half of my ribs from my body and made you from dirt, my blood, my vomit, my bone.” (pg. 408), and in him choosing to frame himself as creator, and as creator in a distinctly biblical way (the ribs being an obvious call to this). The reference to Galatea is also its own interesting thing. But anyway, John made her body from himself and oh boy is there a lot there but okay this paragraph is threatening to become too long, so I need to leave this topic for now and come back to it later in its own post sdfghj. 

ANYWAY, all of this is to say that I really think interpreting John’s creation of Alecto’s physical form as a ‘typical dude thing, he wanted to make her sexy and picked Barbie, the most basic ideal of womanhood’ is a reading that really misses the mark. 

Annnnd that’s all from me tonight, time to go to bed.

[dmwrites]

So, I was thinking about in-game/storyline reasons for Bdubs not uploading his pov of Limited Life, and it kind of spiraled from “maybe he’s an npc this season” to “well grian would have to do the administrative work to make a bdubs npc I guess” to “well Martyn’s vtuber lore…”, so now there’s this thing. Uh, enjoy?

——

“Bdubs?”

Cleo heard a familiar throat clearing from behind the tree she and Scar were trying to cut down, and called out to whoever was on the other side of the river.

“Ah, Cleo, hello!”

Cleo smiled cheerily at Bdubs, who was approaching them. Scar waved Bdubs over, and they all started working on chopping down the same big dark oak tree.

“Another life series already, can you believe it?” Cleo asked. She couldn’t help but smile- the sun was warm, her friends were all around her, and a new opportunity for good, wholesome murder.

It was natural, the way that she, Scar, and Bdubs fell into an alliance. They were good together, a kind of natural blend of sarcasm and thirst for violence.

But something wasn’t quite right. She shrugged it off at first, thinking it was the general overhanging anxiety of a clock ticking down to death. But no, it wasn’t until the second boogeyman was chosen that she began to realize exactly what was wrong.

When Bdubs had killed Skizz, not even a minute after he had been named boogeyman number two, Cleo hadn’t been paying attention to him. She had been laughing at Scar, and helping him out of the pond he’d fallen into after being rammed by a goat. But when she looked up, to see a death message in chat and Bdubs standing, axe still raised, that same, broad smile on his face.

“Bdubs?”

There was a moment of stillness, where Bdubs stood there, staring off into the space that Skizz had occupied only moments ago. His head then jerked to the side, and he laughed.

“Ah, Cleo, hello. Ah, well, that’s done now.”

Cleo laughed at his laissez-faire attitude, but couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d seen something from Bdubs that wasn’t right.

“Bdubs! You killed Skizz!” Scar exclaimed, interrupting her thoughts.

Bdubs didn’t respond to that, just smiled broadly as Skizz came over the hill again, swearing up a storm and making everything even more funny.

As much as she’d like to forget the weirdness she felt about Bdubs, it was impossible, since he was right there, cheering her on, joining Scar in calling her Mom. He was being odd, in ways that wouldn’t have mattered to anyone but her. He didn’t wear armor until Cleo gave him some. Whatever was suggested, he happily agreed to. He had that big ol’ classic Bdubs smile, but it was the eyes. There was something missing from his eyes- like they had gone dull and lifeless, like a statue or doll.

“Scar?”

“Hmm? Yes, Mom?” Scar was sitting on the top of the mountain, resting for a moment, and gave a cackle as he spoke.

Cleo elected to ignore that for the time being. “Does something seem a little… off… about Bdubs to you?” She eased herself down next to him.

Scar frowned, and Cleo had to appreciate that Scar, for all of his misgivings and silly nature, took her seriously when it was needed. The two looked towards their rudimentary farm land, where Bdubs was doing some final bits of crop harvesting before the sun fully set. The last rays of sunlight glinted off of the many clocks that hung off of his body. He was planting seeds in a uniform, practiced way, focused on his task without the usual whimsical and jumpy gait to his step.

“No, not really.” Scar said slowly. “But, I will say… isn’t it odd that his skin doesn’t change? We all get reset every season, but he… it’s like his last life season never really left him or something.”

Cleo frowned. Last Life was always close to her mind too, but it had never left any… physical marks. Bdubs looked like a sore that never healed.

“Oh, also, he said this thing I thought was kind of, well, I wouldn’t call it out of character, and it was a throwaway comment at best I suppose, but when he and I were trekking the server with our horses and wares, he said he was content to just watch me, like some kind of hidden camera show. Watching my life. Like he’s just a camera for me. And he’s always egging on my terrible ideas.”

“But he’s always like that- he’s a ‘yes, and’ man. You know that.” Cleo said.

“You’re the one who seems to be worried- why don’t you go talk to him then? I don’t want the family to be broken up so quickly. We already lost Dad.”

Cleo smacked Scar lightly up the backside of his head. “Shut it, boy.”

She did wander out to Bdubs, who was just finishing up the final seed plantings.

“Bdubs?”

“Ah, Cleo, hello!” Bdubs stood up and beamed at her.

“Are you okay, Bdubs?” Cleo asked. “Enjoying your time so far?”

“Of course! I am greatly enjoying this time with my friends!” Bdubs’ face wasn’t changing. He was talking and his mouth was moving, but his eyes still were just that same kind of glassy deadness. It struck Cleo all at once, suddenly, what exactly was wrong. It was the uncanny valley effect that she sometimes got when she made a statue too realistic. Bdubs didn’t look like he was living. It was impossible to tell, most people wouldn’t ever see it, only feel that weird anxiety.

“You’re not the real Bdubs.” Cleo said, trying very hard to keep the tremor out of her voice.

Bdubs’ mouth opened and closed for a moment, those eyes still just as wide and happy as it had been since she’d first seen Bdubs on this sever.

“Bdubs?”

“Ah, yes, Cleo.”

“You say that every time I say your name.” Cleo whispered.

——

“Grian.”

Joel and Jimmy must have wandered off, leaving Grian in the ruins of the mansion (which Cleo secretly giggled about). Grian was typing on his commutator, assumedly some admin stuff to do with the server, but looked up and smiled as Cleo approached.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Sorry to bother you, but I think something is… off about Bdubs.”

For a moment, a flash of recognition and panic appeared in Grian’s face, then smoothed back out. Grian was good at lying, but Cleo had been dealing with misbehavior and liars for a lot longer then he’d even been alive.

“I don’t know w-”

“Don’t bother lying to me, you’ll just embarrass yourself.” Cleo cut him off abruptly. Her head was pounding- she was right, something was wrong. And Grian knew what it was. “What happened to Bdubs?”

“Cleo, that is an administrative issue, not a player issue. That information is private and between only those who need to know.” Grian was talking fast, and his communicator kept beeping- resetting a whole mansion wasn’t an easy task, clearly. He was clearly distracted. “Bdubs being an npc this season is not- oh no.” Grian groaned at his mistake. He closed his communicator and took out his sword. “Okay, so let’s just pretend that I didn’t say that.”

“You really think you can frighten me into silence, little bird?” Cleo crossed her arms and puffed out her chest. She was very scared, she knew how Grian was when he was backed into a corner. And she didn’t even have diamond armor.

“Cleo, listen. I respect you, and I know you care a lot about Bdubs. But let this one go. It’s not… it’s complicated, okay? No one can know, not ever. It’s too…” Grian looked her over, coming to some kind of decision. “Listen, I may not scare you, but I will kill you. If this gets out, I will slaughter you over and over until your out of the series. With no remorse. I promise this.”

Cleo held her ground for as long as she could, jaw set, brain frantically screaming at her to go. “Fine.” She finally said. “It stays here. For now.” She turned and walked away without another word, mentally preparing for an arrow to the back. But nothing came, and she walked until she was beyond the still-smoldering dark oak forest. She could see her allies, Scar and not-really Bdubs, on the mountain, but she couldn’t go there. Not yet.

So she walked in the flat area around spawn, just kind of wandering, mind racing. So Bdubs was some kind of npc- she vaguely knew what that meant. Non-playable. But how could a person be non-playable? It did seem like he has certain things that he said and did- a yes, and man to the extreme, which wasn’t too far off from the man she knew anyway. She had to wonder if being boogeyman hasn’t been part of the script, if that’s why he’d killed Skizz the instant he’d be chosen. But was that even what npc meant?

“But why have an npc?” She murmured to herself, wandering by a small cave opening.

“What did you just say?”

And faster then she’d ever seen him move, Martyn barreled out of the cave entrance, a wild look in his eyes. It was odd to see her old soulmate, and she almost expected a twinge of pain when he tripped over a rock in his hurry over to her.

“Martyn?”

“Cleo, please- did you just say npc?” Martyn was almost shaking, and held out his hands to her. She’d never seen him look so rattled.

“I- yeah.” She cringed, remembering Grian’s threats. “But that’s just between you and me. What, do you know something about that?”

“I- oh my god.” Martyn ran his fingers through his hair. “We need to talk right now. If you know what npc’s are, that changes everything. I- wow.”

“What on earth are you on about, Martyn?” Cleo asked, anxiety rising in her once again.

“I don’t know.” Martyn said. “Well, I do, kind of, it’s just… can we talk?” He gestured to his cave.

“I- yeah, I suppose so.” Cleo replied. It was almost funny, how they were teamed up together by necessity once more. But this seemed a lot bigger then their own souls. Cleo thought of Bdubs and his empty, wide eyes, and it steeled whatever resolve she had inside her.

“So, where to start…”

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

WHATISUPEVERYBODY you know it wasn’t my intention to watch literally one episode every two weeks but here we are i guess ITS TIME FOR ANOTHER KNOX REACTS TODAY ITS MONKIE KID SEASON 5 EPISODE 4 LESGET IIIIIT

The ssssstorm within, alright, alright, something to do with Mk and blowing up maybe? who knows, perhaps we shall find out MWAHAHA! Well, i mean obviously we’ll find out we’re watching the episode—listen i just woke up i can’t be held responsible for my incoherent ramblings LETS MOVE ON

Face in hands bro i miss flying Bark. BRUTAL DUDE (gotta say it at least once every episode sorry bois :pensive_emoji:)

Sniffs, just plow straight through the underbrush its fine—

Monkey King and Mei face down… okay…. this is…. a very fun frame i will admit…. who wants matching icons—/j/jj/

PREGUFFINGLKJA;DSF WE’RE REALLY RIDING THOSE MCGUFFIN JOKESLKGMSDF

sniffs

scratches head. okay so we’re just using sandy yelling as a gag now… cool cool cool okay sure sure, not like Sandy never raising his voice made the emotional beat of him yelling when contention happened devastating and startling. I guess the whole overwhelming Mk with WE GOT THIS!! talk would be an inevitable one, it always worked before. I mean, except for during the season 2 special. And… any other time hype up hasn’t really… worked… Listen I’m just overanalyzing probably but some of the choices in this season with the characters just feels off to me. Ngl with every episode I watch, the less it feels like monkie kid to me. The last one wasn’t so bad, and hey, we’re only a minute 25 into this one so that might change but that’s my gut reaction right now. Makes me a bit sad! I’ve been watching Dragons Rising (ninjago) with my buddy and been having the time of my life, the animation is gorgeous and it feels like the new peeps really understand the characters and its honestly so much fun, and then I’m kinda sitting here with monkie kid and puzzle pieces that don’t really fit and I’m not sure what to do with it! I know like, it’s the same writers but it just does not feel like it to me. Could be how rushed they always are, they’re doing their best, like—oNCE AGAIN TO BE CLEAR, when I criticize anything or say it feels off, this is NOT me saying bad writers bad people bad bad bad, I’m just saying how it feels to me! It feels almost like they’re trying to bring the comedic lightness of season 1 back but like… it feels kinda plastic and wrong! WORDS FAIL ME, PLS DON’T QOUTE ME I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT LETS MOVE ON

the kneeling down is kinda cute good for them

Sandy hype man!

…..

Is he just trying to get them all out of there so Mk can have some breathing roomGML;SMADF Cause otherwise splitting up is a terrible idea

Special Sandy training!!!

Mk smashing rocks together, okay that was cute h;LGKAJWOEF

Sandy so excited about meditation

sniffs

I FEEL LIKE MK COMPLAINS A LOT MORE THAN USUAL. Why is he so whiny?? Was he this whiny before? Am i losing my mind???? I’ve never wanted Mk to talk less before what is going on

Mystic Monkey meditatiNGN;LAKSDF WHY IS HIS FAKE BEARD ORANGELKMGSDF oh he’s impersonating sandy. SANDY AND WUKONG HAVE SIMILAR COLOURED HAIR I THOUGHT HE WAS USING MONKEY KINGS HAIR COLOUR DON’T LOOK AT ME HGLKAJSDF

The crackity cracks are backity back

“I see you” WELL THATS METAL DOPE

I WILLL ADMIT, THIS IS GREAT, BRO REALLY NEEDS THIS BIG ITME

….me fr pretend to meditate so true==

Storm within that’s funny

SANDY’S A GREAT PERSON TO TALK TO ABOUT THIS

LIL SNEK

I GOT SOMEONE TO FIGHT TAT’S NOT JUST MY THOUGHTSLKMGOWIEFMSDF

MK PLS

ooop next—SECRET TUNNELLLL SECRET TUNNEELLLLL THROUGH THE MOUNTAINNNNNNNNNNN

Just got led to it np that’s funny

Mk’s opening secret access swishy gold thing is fun

Bro’s really assaulting a rock

Owaaaa big ol turtle…. with cracks!

HELPGLKAM;WOEF

Classic

Ah yes meditation, who could have seen this coming

gGKASDF BRAVADO KILLED

I know he’s complaining as a deflection but :T man Mk whining so much is getting old really fast. Like its for the gag and you could say its for the deflection but MAN. Every four seconds he’s got his whiny voice on, bro?? I’m hoping they get all the humour they want out of that gag in this episode :(

I SWEAR I’M NOT TRYING TO BE NEGATIVE THIS IS JUST DOING A NUMBER ON ME OUGH

HEY GET OFF MY SANDY OI

RELEASE MY MAN

COME ON TURTLE

Bro literally has to face his trauma to save his friend what the heck turtle that’s so rude—

OKAY WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO WATCH THIS? I’ve tried two separate types of headphones (one stolen from my brother) a friend’s tv and just my computer’s speakers and the audio volume difference in the voices vs the music is STILL jarring. Like???? I have it turned up so much just to HEAR the voices and TRY to understand them and then the music kicks in and its bLARING and AGGRESSIVE and NOT IN A CINEMATIC WAY. dear gods its like they made monkie kid as unfriendly to watch as possible for me what is going on I’M TRYING TO ENJOY MY MONKIE SHOW STOP JARRING ME OUT OF IT [SHAKES LEGO UNTIL THEY FALL TO PIECES] I’M TRYING TO ENJOY MK HAVING TO FACE HIS TRAUMA SOMETHING I’VE HIGH KEY WANTED TO WATCH SINCE SEASON 1 WAILS

Acknowledging the “okay, i want to push that away, but i’m not going to” is really neat i like that

Hello disembodied voice

Okay, i may not be vibin with the audio, the animation, or the jokes in this ep, but my GODS does Ashe know how to write brutal dialogue. The reason Mk being so afraid of his monkey powers is because he likes it?? Oh yeah, I’m down with that i am SO down for that, I have been clawing at that concept for AGES, I am SO DOWN

So who’s going to be trying to control mk this season? Snake guy?? Newbie?? The choosing yourself and making your own path is really heavy handed so far hL;GJKASDF

Sandy’s advice?? GOD TIER. We love that. I love actual good advice in cartoons thank you

Conversations with self!!! OHHH OHH I LIKE THE EXHALE

TAT WAS NICE

OKAY SO THE HWOLE MIND SEQUENCE I’M A HUGE FAN OF

TERES MY BOY

Sandy’s trigger word is Worthy huh he dont’ like thatLKGMA;OWEFWHEEZE

nah we are so glad Mk has Sandy here actually that is so good I’VE BEEN WANTING SANDY MOMENTS FOR SO LONG AND WE GOTTEM THANK YOUUUUUUUUUU like, the rest of what i said still stands but the emotional beats still hit really nicely and I’m very grateful we still have that!

Yeah that car is gonna get smashed by mei or pigsy and tang yeah yup there we go

oH WOW-oh nvm there it goes

well ! Wonder what mei found! That felt like a little bit of a clunky ending bit for some reason i can’t explain but! Big fan of the Sandy and Mk content I love them, totally deserved, been wanting Sandy talk like that for AAAAGES BLESS

Okayokay, always ending on positive note so lets go over one more time: Mk’s talk with himself? BANGER. Once he got talking, I really liked the dialogue and I really liked the vibe of the whole thing, Loved his exhale, loved the admittance of that all being part of him and that he chooses to work on other parts of him that is AWESOME and super cool to see depicted the way it was all cinematic and cool we love that. Love diving into a little bit of the complexities of our man Sandy! Love him opening up a bit to Mk so he can see he’s not alone in his struggles! That Sandy’s got something like that too and he’s still one of the most wonderful kind people Mk knows! The people who Mk has surrounding him are all exactly what he needs and that’s really cool!!! Ough okay welp, maybe I will be thinking about Sandy and Mk’s dyname for the rest of all time RAAAAAAA I REALLY enjoyed how they wrote them there.

Thanks for reading! Sorry I’m still a bit all over the place with my reactions, i feel like I keep repeating the same things but by GOSH the audio is THROWING ME. But yeah that was a nice way of addressing some of Mk’s trauma, even if it was only for like three minutes, its well done and I enjoyed it! very excited to see they can still nail those emotional bits. HOPE Y’ALL HAVE A SPECTACULAR DAY AND GOOD VIBES HUNT YOU DOWN RELENTLESSLY. KNOX OUT

[wouldntyou-liketoknow]

My EgoPats Meeting the Canon EgoPats (Brought To You by Incorrect Quotes)

Yep, I finally decided that this post deserved to be expanded on. So, to absolutely no-one's surprise, I gave it the ol' college try with memes.

___

[Caliban has just returned from visiting Theory Manor. He’s now ranting to Murdock about WarfPat]

Caliban: Listen to what one of my STUPID doppelgängers did! Caliban: Apparently one of his “guests” ended up dying in his studio, and he offered the body to me. And since we’ve been in-between jobs lately, I was like, “Sure, why not?” Caliban: So, I cooked the best parts, then I went to town. . .and every two minutes, he added salt. Caliban: And it was weird. It almost tasted like sweet potato. Caliban: I asked, “Did this guy eat a lot of candy before he died? Or was he on drugs?” Caliban: And Warf said, “Noooo.” Caliban: Every two minutes, he added salt, salt, sALT, SALT! It was like he wanted to poison me! Caliban: And when I finished eating, he asked, “How did you like the human flesh wiTH SUGAR?” Caliban: . . .HE USED SUGAR INSTEAD OF SALT! Caliban: *starts shaking Murdock by the lapels of his overcoat* SUGAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!

___

[The EgoPats are using an Ouija board] The Detective: Tell us. . .is there an otherworldly creature in this house or on its grounds? LeviathanPat: *is right outside the nearest window, but has decided to use his powers to speak through the board before he actually starts talking* ¥ê§. MadPat: Great! Rent is due on the first of the month. WarfPat: Oh, and movie night is on Friday if you want to hang out. LeviathanPat: *genuinely caught off-guard* . . .Wåï†, WHĆ—?!

___

Mack: So, for that party I told the guys about. . .do you, uh. . . Patty/DancePat: Oh, are you not sure how to dress for it? Mack: *panicked* WHAT IS CLOTHES???

___

[Caliban and The Hermit’s first meeting is going pretty well.]

The Hermit: —and then I said, “I didn’t realize that I would be having some guests. . .for dinner!” Caliban: *laughs* Ah, that’s a classic! Mack: *watching from a distance and ranting to The Detective* —no nO NO, we are NOT dealing with TWO OF THEM!

___

WarfPat: Hey, new guy! Trick or ye— LeviathanPat: *conjures an Uno Reserve card* ñÖ

___

The Detective: If I have to clean one more bloodstain from this carpet, I’m going to murder someone. Caliban: Sounds a little counterproductive.

___

The Detective: I'm not doing too well. Penn/Pennsylvania: What's wrong? The Detective: I have this headache that comes and goes. [LeviathanPat manifests outside the nearest window] The Detective: And there it is again.

___

The Hermit: What is toothpaste if not bone soap? Caliban: . . .You are a complete and total treasure. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.

___

Penn/Pennsylvania: We call that a traumatic experience. Penn/Pennsylvania: *turning to The Detective* Not a “bruh moment” Penn/Pennsylvania: *turning to The Hermit* Not “sadge” Pennsylvania: *turning to MadPat* And DEFINITELY not “oof lmao”

___

Mack: *scoffs* Clearly, you don’t own an air fryer. Clearly. Caliban: *chuckles dryly* I’m not gonna be talked down to by some arrogant, condescending, delusions-of-grandeur-prone SIDE-DISH. Caliban: If you want to insult me, go right ahead. But you have no idea how brutal that’s gonna get. You don’t even know my name! Caliban: *steps closer to Mack, almost getting in his face* I ' m t h e c o m b i n a t i o n o f y o u a n d a c r a z y i s l a n d h e r m i t f r o m a d i f f e r e n t t i m e l i n e .

___

The Detective: Define “dream”. LeviathanPat: Ðrêåm—†hê £ïr§† †hïñg þêðþlê åßåñÐðñ whêñ †hê¥ lêårñ hðw †hê wðrlÐ wðrk§. The Hermit: Oh, c’mon! That’s just too dark!

___

Ness: Do you support LGBTQIA+ rights? Patty/DancePat: . . .I’m literally a girlypop and exotic dancer?? WarfPat: He’s avoiding the question!

___

MadPat: Gatekeep, girlboss, and. . .what's the other one again? LeviathanPat: †hêrê ï§ñ'† åñð†hêr ðñê. ¥ðµ'rê ¢råz¥.

___

Caliban: He doesn’t deserve you! If he doesn’t treat you right by now, you’re gone! Ness: *taking a deep breath* I’m gone. Caliban: *nodding and grinning* Now gO CHOP HIS DICK OFF—

___

Penn/Pennsylvania: I can’t tell if you’re a genius or just incredibly arrogant. Mack: Well, on a good day, I’m both.

___

[The EgoPats are discussing a plan. Ozzie has taken his turn to speak, standing with a whiteboard at the head of the room] Ozzie: Anyone have any questions? Ness: Is this legal? Ozzie: . . .Anyone have any relevant questions?

___

The Detective: Are you seriously making human-bacon for breakfast?! Caliban: *looking away from the bacon-filled frying pan he’s using* Yeah. What’d you have for breakfast? The Detective: . . .Nothing. Caliban: *shrugs, returning his focus to the frying pan* I’m doing better than you, man.

___

Penn/Pennsylvania: What’s up with you? Mack: What do you mean? Penn/Pennsylvania: You’ve been nice and helpful and considerate all day. What’s your game?

___

[The Detective recently griped to Caliban about a recent case. Now Caliban is trying to convince The Detective to do something highly unconventional to make progress with said case.l]

Caliban: DO IT! The Detective: NOOOOO! GOD, PLEASE NO! Caliban: MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE! The Detective: NO! Caliban: JUST— The Detective: NO! Caliban: — D O I T ! The Detective: N O O O O O O O ! ! !

___

Patty/DancePat: I can't believe you've done this. . . Ness: I'm sorry, I didn't know—! Patty/DancePat: *on the verge of tears* YOU CAN'T JUST BUY ME A GIFT OUT OF NOWHERE WHEN I HAVE NOTHING PREPARED FOR YOU IN RETURN! NOW I FEEL LIKE A HUGE JERK!

___

The Hermit: Onion rings are vegetable donuts. Mack: Sure. . . The Hermit: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed. Mack: Okay? The Hermit: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake. Mack: . . . The Hermit: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio— Mack: Jesus, that one is a little— Caliban: *was just passing through but is now interested* No, no. Let him continue

___

[A plan involving paranormal investigation has gone terribly wrong, and The Detective is almost out of options]

The Detective: *begrudgingly holding a dark ritual* If you are here, speak to us! LeviathanPat: *slowly manifests outside the window. . .and starts singing “Don’t Stop Believin’.” With each lyric, his voice shifts in a very disturbing way* JÚ§† Ä Ç̆-Ä¥ ßÖ¥! The Detective: *grinds his jaw, having even more regrets than before* LeviathanPat: ßÖRñ ÄñÐ RÄ̧ÈÐ Ìñ §ÖÚ†H—!

___

WarfPat: What kinds of sounds annoy you? Ozzie: Are we talkin’ real sounds or imaginary ones? WarfPat: *now interested* Lets say imaginary. Ozzie: Spiders wearin’ flip flops.

___

[MadPat is trying to talk killer-to-killer with Caliban. So far, he’s only succeeded in annoying Caliban]

MadPat: Every time I go out there, I feel like I do my best and they don’t! Caliban: *has heard all about how sloppy Mad’s methods are, how much evidence Mad always seems to leave behind, as well as how Mad trapped himself in a fire only to get caught by the police* Let me ask you a very fair question—What do you do successfully? MadPat: . . . Caliban: *raising an eyebrow* QUICKLY. MadPat: *scowls and storms off*

___

The Detective: You need a hobby. LeviathanPat: Ì ålrêåÐ¥ håvê å hðßߥ! The Detective: Terrorizing people is nOT A HOBBY!

___

Ness: Ducks are better than rabbits. Penn/Pennsylvania: What? Rabbits are adorable. Have you ever been in a fight with a duck? Ducks are jerks. WarfPat: Duck is delicious! Rabbit is all gamey. Ness: We’re not talking about flavor, Warf! WarfPat: Flavor counts! The Detective: Who carries around a duck’s foot for good luck? Anyone? Mack: You wrap yourself in a comforter stuffed with rabbit hair. I’ll wrap myself in a comforter stuffed with duck feathers. Who’s cozier? Penn/Pennsylvania: Okay, but— Mack: NO, NO, NO, NO. WHO’S COZIER? MadPat: Why don’t we just take a rabbit and a duck, stick ‘em in a cardboard box and let them fight it out? Penn/Pennsylvania: BECAUSE THAT’S ILLEGAL! MadPat: ONLY IF WE BET ON IT! Caliban: *sitting in the adjacent room, listening in on the debate. He’s not sure if Snare could get roped into it, because Snare is a hare and not a rabbit, but he’s still holding him protectively* . . .

___

Ness: *calling up the stairs from the kitchen* I made lightly-fried fish fillets for dinner! The Detective: . . .Ness, it’s one-fifteen AM. What the hell? Ness: Do you guys want the lightly-fried fish fillets or not? Ozzie: *pokes his head out of one of the guest rooms* Well, I mean, yeah. Ness: So come downstairs before they get cold. Penn/Pennsylvania: *comes out of another guest room* Wait, you just made them? Ness: Yeah, I wasn’t tired, so I decided to make lightly-fried fish fillets. LeviathanPat: *has been watching/listening to all of this through the kitchen window* §å¥ "lïgh†l¥-£rïêÐ £ï§h £ïllꆧ" ðñê mðrê †ïmê.

___

Patty/DancePat: When you’re shopping at Lush and another customer comes in and bites one of the soap options because they think it’s cheese. . .I talked to one of the employees about it, and apparently this sort of thing happens way more frequently than you’d think. Mack: Well, if Lush stopped literally presenting soap as deli food, then this wouldn't happen so frequently. Patty/DancePat: Who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese??? The Detective: . . .Who goes to the deli section of a store and just takes a bite out of the cheese?!

___

[MadPat keeps trying to antagonize Caliban, as if THAT will somehow change Caliban’s opinion of him]

MadPat: *pacing the floor in front of Caliban* And I’m not gonna conversate with you! I’m not gonna invest time in— Caliban: *organizing some Black Market stuff on his laptop, not paying Mad too much attention* I think it’s “converse.” MadPat: . . .Huh? Caliban: *rolling his eyes* Just say “talk.”

___

Penn/Pennsylvania: I haven't slept in seventy-three hours. Ozzie: Eighty. Democratically elected leader of insomnia over here. MadPat: Bitch, it's been ninety for me. I'm going for an even one hundred. Ness: . . .You guys can be terrifying sometimes.

___

The Detective: Oh, you’re back from that outing. What’d you think of that Patty guy? Ness: I can’t remember how we got on the topic of beaches, but he referred to sand as "heterosexual glitter." The Detective: . . . Ness: I don't know how someone so awesome can be so anxious all the time!

___

Mack: You’re making fun of me now, aren’t you? Ozzie: What? Oh, no-no-no, Mack. I’d never—*suddenly points past Mack* MACK LOOK IT’S CALIBAN! Mack: *turns around in a panic* WHERE?! [As it turns out, Caliban is, in fact, nowhere to be seen] Mack: *blinks, pretty much frozen in place* Ozzie: *falls to the floor, laughing hysterically*

___

The Hermit: Let's all agree that going up the stairs on all fours is actually the best experience on earth. Penn/Pennsylvania: Conversely, going down the stairs on all fours is actually the most terrifying experience on earth.

___

Patty/DancePat: Yeah, so, my latest shift at the club was a little rough. Heh. . . Ness: *concerned* Why are you looking up? Patty/DancePat: I need to CRY, but my foundation cost FORTY-EIGHT DOLLARS.

___

The Hermit: How do ethical philosophers feel about murder? Ness: Well. . .I mean, it’s frowned upon. Caliban: Yeah, but what if the reason you want to murder someone is to make your life easier? The Hermit: *nodding along* That’s okay, right?

___

LeviathanPat: ¥ðµ kñðw whå† Ì’vê rêålïzêÐ? The Detective: Some thoughts are better left unsaid? LeviathanPat: ñï¢ê †r¥, åñ¥w套

___

Ness: So they were just using me? Penn/Pennsylvania: I’m sorry, Ness. Mack: *trying to contain his amusement* You must feel pretty stupid right now. Ness: . . . Penn/Pennsylvania: Okay, that’s a time-out. Mack: No, I was just trying to— Caliban: *using his meat cleaver to gesture to the corner of the room* Go sit over there! Mack: *walks away in defeat*

___

Mack: *entering the room, unable to see what's going on just yet* I’m going to dunk on you— Patty/DancePat: *is wearing heels AND is currently practicing some new pole-dancing moves* You’d better bring a ladder, then.

___

The Detective: *exhausted from supernatural shenanigans* Please, God, just let me have one peaceful day?! LeviathanPat: Öh m¥ GðÐ, ¥ðµ ågåïñ? Gïvê ï† å r꧆, ßµÐÐ¥! The Detective: I WASN’T TALKING TO YOU!

___

Penn/Pennsylvania: A riddle for you, my friend! So it’s raining, right? And you pass a bus stop. There are three people there—your most trustworthy friend, a pregnant lady who needs to go to the hospital, and the person of your dreams. However, your smart car only fits two people. What do you do? Ness: Oh, I’ve heard this one before! You lend the car to your friend so they can take the pregnant lady to the hospital, and then you stay at the bus stop with your dream person! Penn/Pennsylvania: Oh, so close, but wrong. The correct answer is as follows—you go home and reEVALUATE YOUR DAMN LIFE! Penn/Pennsylvania: *grabs Ness by the collar and starts playfully shaking him* YOU! BOUGHT! A! SMART! CAR!

___

[Caliban leads Mack over to a closet]

Mack: *walks into the closet* Um. . .what’s in here? Caliban: Oh, it’s just—*turns the room’s light off and grabs the door handle* —YOUR DEMISE. Mack: AHHHHH—! Caliban: *slams the door and locks it*

___

@sammys-magical-au @insane4fandoms @b-is-in-the-closet

[leafsbabe]

https://www.tumblr.com/leafsbabe/749071393078083584/quinn-captain-lexapro-hughes-would-be-so

he would be trying to kill you if he knows you’re doing it, which is why you gotta be sneaky with it. ‘my hands are just innocently going up your shirt because I want skin to skin contact while we cuddle!’ ‘I’m just kissing you down your body before I blow you!!’ he can’t karate chop you if he doesn’t know what’s coming!!! after you start tickling him is another story though. sorry to you but you are 100% getting ragdolled across the bed but I think it’s worth hearing him yelp and giggle for a second

(also the captain lexapro thing came from an article on twitter first iirc 😭)

ah yes the good ol’ betrayal of trust… classic

[heckinconfusedparade]

TAILS SQUAD TAILSTUBE #1

Introductions

-The shutters to Tails’ desktop opens. Tails appears on the screen-

Modern: Hello everyone, and welcome to a VERY special episode of Tails Tube! I’d like for everyone to give a warm welcome toooo

-The Tails Squad logo pops up on the centre of the desktop screen-

Modern: THE TAILS SQUAD!!

-The instrumental for Believe In Myself plays in the background-

-Multiple more Tails’ pop up on the screen with varying appearances. They all give various greetings at once.-

Modern: I’m so happy you guys could join me today!

Movie: I’ve been looking forward to this!! It’s on my calendar!

Modern: brilliant enthusiasm as always, Mr. Wachowski. Everyone meet Movie! He’s from what we call the Sonic Cinematic Universe, or in short, the SCU. Tell us a bit about yourself, Movie!

-An image of the sonic movie logo appears on screen-

Movie: uh… uhm…

-Movie nervously looks around.-

Movie: hi.. I’m Movie- oh wait you said that already-

Modern: it’s ok, take your time!

Movie: o-ok! So uhm.. I’m from a universe where I was adopted by human parents..

-a family photo is shown-

Movie: and Sonic and Knuckles are my brothers!

Modern: good job, Movie.

-Movie beams-

-the images are clicked away.-

Modern: aaaand we also have Boom here, from Sonic Boom! Boom say hi!

-The Sonic Boom logo appears on screen.-

Boom: hi everyone! I’m so excited to be here! In my universe I live on an island…

-an aerial image of the island is on screen.-

Boom: …and defend the village from Dr. Eggman with Sonic, Knuckles, Amy, and Sticks!

Modern: welcome!

-the images are clicked away-

Modern: And now, you all know him, you all love him, everyone give it up fooor CLASSIC!

-The starting screen for Sonic the Hedgehog 2 appears on screen.-

Classic: hi!

Modern: tell us about yourself! For those who don’t know you.

-An image of Classic and Classic Sonic together are shown.-

Classic: oh-! I’m Classic! I’m called that because I’m from the past.. that’s it, really!

Modern: thanks for sharing!

-The images are clicked away-

Modern: X, you’re up!

X: h-hey everyone! I’m X.. I’m from the Sonic X universe.

-The Sonic X logo appears on screen-

X: In my universe we were trapped on Earth for a while. We made so many new friends there!

-An image of X and his human friends pop up-

X: It was sad to say goodbye to them, but then we soon went on another adventure! Watch the anime if you’re curious~

-the images are clicked away-

Modern: Thanks, X!

Adventure: OOH!! OH! OH CAN I GO NEXT???

-Adventure starts hopping up and down-

-Modern laughs-

Modern: of course! Go ahead, Adventure.

Adventure: Hey everyone!! I’m from the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog universe!!!

-A gif pops up of the opening sequence for the show-

Adventure: in my universe, my big bro Sonic and me protect Mobius from Dr. RoBUTTnik. He’s a sore loser!

-An image of Sonic and Adventure pop up. They’re posing together.-

-there’s giggles amongst the squad-

Movie: heh- RoBUTTnik!

-the images are clicked away-

Modern: ah, a classic! Anyway, we are moving on the Tailses from the Sonic Prime Universe!

-The Sonic Prime logo appears on screen-

There’s currently 4 that we know of! Only 3 could make it today, unfortunately.

-Classic frowns-

Classic: I wish Nine could join us!

-A picture of Nine pops up-

Modern: me too.. but Im not gonna push him if he doesn’t want to.

-the image is clicked away.-

Modern: who wants to go first? Prime?

Prime: hey, I’m Prime!

-an image of Prime pops up. He is in his workshop.-

Prime: Im the original of our universe. When my Sonic shattered the Paradox Prism, new dimensions appeared! Oddly, without a Sonic to be seen.

- Images of the different dimensions pop up.-

Sails: Ahoy, me hearties! I be Sails, and I am apart of Capt’n Dreads crew!

-an image of Sails and his crew replace the image of his dimension.-

Sails: we be pirates! Sword fightin’, stealin’, and makin ye landlubbers feel welcome is what we do! We sail the whole ol briney deep in search of a good time.

Boom: you make pirating sound like a good thing!

Sails: Why, rapscallion! Of course pirating isn’t good! Unless ye run a rig from time to time whilst squiffy in the sweet trade! Blimey, you act like it’s a sin!

-Sails looks offended, and Boom stands there looking surprised, then a look of acceptance.-

Boom: yknow what, if that’s what you think pirates do, then good for you.

Sails: Ye be careful with runnin yer mouth-

Modern: ok, ok, chill! Mangey?

-Mangey stares directly into the camera.-

Adventures: hellloooooo??

-Mangey sniffs the camera, and starts trying to eat it.-

Modern: Mangey, no, bad! Cameras are not for eating.

-Mangey whines and sits back down.-

-An image of Mangey and his friends pop up to replace the image of his dimension.-

Modern: Mangey here lives in the trees away from the “monster.” Foraging for food is difficult, but Mangey doesn’t let that kill his spirits! Ain’t that right, Mangey?!!

-Mangey pants loudly and nods enthusiastically-

-All the images on screen are clicked away-

Modern: and now, lastly, but not least, IDW!

IDW: hello!

-A cover for one of the Sonic IDW comics pop up-

IDW: I’m from the IDW universe! It’s been a rough going, but I’m happy to finally kick back and relax with the squad!

-An image of IDW fighting alongside Sonic pops up-

Modern: I was worried you weren’t gonna make it!

IDW: I found a way!

-the images are clicked away-

Modern: Now that you’ve met everyone, I have a couple questions here from our audience that we’re going to answer!

X: WHOO!

Movie: YEAH! QUESTIONS!

-Adventure starts cheering!-

-Modern laughs-

Modern: Ok, everyone settle down! You ready?

ALL: YEAH!!

Modern: let’s do this!

TO BE CONTINUED…

[madrigaljail]

HAPPY EASTER have some blasphemy from the docs featuring everyone's(?) favorite(??) idiots. Once again: author gave up Catholicism for Lent once and forgot to pick it up again.

*

“Forgive me, padre, for I have sinned, it’s been…eh, a few months since my last confession, sorry. I’ve never been good at this, it’s a failing. But! The gaps are getting shorter, like it won’t ever be, y’know, ten years again. Heh.”

Silence.

“Right, still too soon. A-anyway, where to begin..well, I’ve been doing a bit of lying, but it’s lying by omission, y’know. Oh, the ol’ classic of disobeying my mother; nothing major but I know it still counts. There’s been a couple of parties, and I did engage in revelry, I know that’s frowned upon if it’s…excessive.”

The silence continued, punctuated by a tiny sigh.

“...oh shit, it’s you, isn’t it.”

The obscuring screen slid to the side and yep, yes, there was José, wearing his most dour expression.

“Hello, Señor Madrigal.”

“Padre Guzmán. Ah. I…wasn’t expecting you.”

“How?”

“I dunno, it’s usually Flores!”

“We’re taking turns, of course we’re taking turns.”

“Right. Obviously.” Bruno stared down at his hands, fretful. “We really should have, I dunno, rehearsed this.”

“No. Absolutely not.”

“Not like that!” 

The silence resumed, more awkward than before.

“Well. At least I already know the more…you don’t need to say anything about the fornication or unnatural desi-”

Bruno boggled at him. “I wasn’t planning to!” he hissed. “That- no, nope, not happening. Do people really confess that stuff? Cuz I can’t imagine.”

“Yes?” Padre Guzmán lifted his eyebrows. “The truly repentant do.”

“Oh. Right.” Then: “Do you? Confess, about all that?”

There was a pause, and he looked upward before drawing a breath and nodding. “I have, yes.”

“...uh huh..” Panic panic panic.

“Not to Flores, God no, but…in the past, I have.”

That sounded significant, and the priest looked troubled. Bruno wanted to follow up on that but before he could Padre Guzmán held up his hand.

“Is there anything more you wish to confess?”

“Ah, no, I’m- that's all.” No regret, no remorse, no repenting. Bruno would ponder the full implications of that later. “So…right, contrition: Lord God, in your goodness have mercy on me: do not look on my sins, but take away all my guilt. Create in me a clean heart and renew within me an upright spirit.”

The priest nodded. “Very well. Pray the rosary to the Fatima Prayer, perform an act of charity, and…oh, do something nice for your mother. I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”

They both made the sign of the cross and murmured an amen.

“Thank you, padre,” Bruno said, getting to his feet as the screen slid closed. Then he paused. “Uh. I’ll be over on Tuesday?”

The screen slammed open again and José glared. “Not here, you- a full rosary, including the decades, three acts of charity, and you’re meditating on the mysteries for the next two weeks.”

“Sorry.”

“Go in peace, Señor Madrigal.” There was another sigh. “I’ll see you on Tuesday.”

[trollwizard]

📋 For Fafnir

ah yes, the classic, my flagship gal, fafnir drakon, with us since 2010... well:

Age: 13 sweeps

Height: 4'11"

Weight: ~95lbs. this is a significant improvement and we are proud of her for it. keep munchin girly

Carrying: emotional baggage? fafnir tends to be the type to expect everyone else to have her covered. karbal wears cargo pants for a reason, right?? her tool belt is for fafnir's benefit, right??? at least shes usually got her phone on her.

Last thought of: biting tripph. flavors of biting tripph.

Current Job: menace. but she's got hobbies! she just isn't involved in any kind of economics, livin in the woods.

Main Goal: while she doesn't tend to be complicated, betterment of self is always her goal. she wants to heal her heart and gain psychic strength.

Favorite Item: stolen flannel from karbal. after karbal transitioned she changed her style, just a little. fafnir quickly swooped in to steal her old shirts.

Love Anyone?: big gay for Karbal Montaz. shes absolutely smitten and has been for sweeps. it was a love at first sight situation and it's only gotten worse since.

Pale For?: Sigurd Mensch and Beabea Pteran

Ashen With?: none atm! she was ash with Bea briefly, while keeping out of black with sigurd. that's long behind them all now.

Hate Anyone?: Tripph. in the way you hate a buddy that just made a really good dad joke and you don't wanna give them the satisfaction of laughing at it. she doesn't truly hate him and he's not capable of blackrom so there isn't actually anything there, but they enjoy a good playfight. secretly she is extremely fond of him and she won't admit it I case it gives him something to tease her about

If you could do one thing right now, it would be: take a very cozy nap on the belly of a big ol owlbear. perhaps she will do just that......

[whoovesnassistant]

Skit Contest Entry 8

Tinkering With Trust - By Tech Reel

YouTube: youtube.com/@DiddleBox

Tumblr: https://diddlebox.tumblr.com/

Derpy is relaxing in her room, then suddenly there’s a knock at the door.

Derpy: [humming peacefully, then hears the knock] Come in! [door opens]

Tick Tock: [slightly uncomfortable] Hey Derpy, could I.. ask you to do me a favor?

Derpy: [cheery] Of course, Tick Tock, what do you need?

Tick Tock: Well, I feel like lately The Doctor’s behavior around me has been.. peculiar. More so than usual.

Derpy: [mild frustration] Oh no, is he getting all crazy about unicorns again?

Tick Tock: [mild relief] Thankfully not. But he does seem incredibly tense whenever I’m near him. Do you think you could possibly talk to him and figure out what’s going on? I would myself, but I worry that might only add to the problem.

Derpy: Yeah I can ask him for you, I’m sure it’s nothing serious, probably just The Doctor being The Doctor.

Tick Tock: Thank you, Derpy. [Derpy walks away] In the meantime, I’ll go back to my latest project.

Derpy reaches the TARDIS console and finds The Doctor.

Doctor: [muttering quietly/angrily to himself] What if he.. Ooh I bet.. Oh he better not-!

Derpy: [confused/concerned] Um, Doctor?

Doctor: AHH WHAT?!

Derpy: EEP!

Doctor: [relief, regaining breath] Oh, Derpy, it’s only you.

Derpy: Are you okay, Doctor? You seem.. on edge.

Doctor: Yes, I’m fine, I’ve just noticed some peculiar behavior lately that I’m trying to investigate.

Derpy: You’re not the only one, Tick Tock said you’ve been acting a bit weird lately.

Doctor: [angry suspicion] Hmph, he would say that.

Derpy: [concerned] What?

Doctor: Derpy, have you noticed lately that Tick Tock’s ideas have been rather.. concerning?

[“woosh” or other sound to indicate flashback/transition]

-Brief Flashback 1/3

Tick Tock: Doctor, remind me, how is it that other ponies don’t seem to notice the TARDIS when you land in areas where it should be quite obvious?

Doctor: Ah, that would be the perception filter! A handy trick to make the ol’ girl almost unnoticeable, as long as someone isn’t looking for her specifically, their eyes will naturally glance away and ignore her, classic telepathic misdirection.

Tick Tock: Fascinating. I wonder if such abilities could be amplified and applied to a pony, making them able to slip in and out of places completely unnoticed and forgotten by any surrounding ponies.

Doctor: [suspicious] Hmm..

[“woosh” or other sound to indicate flashback/transition]

-Brief Flashback 2/3-

Derpy: Aw, look at those fillies playing “Red Light, Green Light”! I used to love that game when I was their age.

Tick Tock: Interesting strategy, freezing when in view of the opposing side. If you could move fast enough and appear unassuming, the enemy would have no idea what’s coming their way. You would be determined and on the move, while all they see is some sort of-

Doctor: [curious/uneasy] Statue?

Tick Tock: Exactly, nobody would suspect such a simple and seemingly innocent object.

[“woosh” or other sound to indicate flashback/transition]

-Brief Flashback 3/3-

Tick Tock: Is there a lot of technology back where you’re from?

Doctor: Oh there very much is. TVs, computers, motor vehicles, phones, et cetera. Humans are addicted to it! Can’t say I blame them.

Tick Tock: Well it can be very useful indeed. And though it isn’t as prevalent in this world, I would love to attempt to change that. It could be an excellent way of connecting ponies, it would just require some hard work and the right type of headset. Or maybe some sort of metal exoskeleton that can protect ponies from threats and even meet their needs, imagine the efficiency.

[“woosh” sound to indicate flashback/transition]

Back to The Doctor and Derpy in the TARDIS.

Derpy: I’ll admit, that last one did sound a tiiiny bit like Cyberponies, but Tick Tock is just coming up with things to try and help people. He would never do anything bad.

Doctor: [uneasy] I don’t know, I don’t want to believe it either, but his ideas have come too close to some very dangerous things I’ve seen both here and back in my world.

Derpy: Well why don’t we just ask him? Maybe if he explains-

Doctor: No no, if this is something then asking would only alert him to my suspicions, and that could be bad.

Derpy: [increasingly concerned] Doctor, you’re acting like he’s a villain, he’s one of the nicest ponies I’ve ever met and he would never hurt anypony.

Doctor: [skeptical, under his breath] Well we did meet him in the middle of a war..

Derpy: [frustrated/shocked] Doctor!

Doctor: I don’t mean to be mean, I’m just trying to be cautious. Either way, we’re not going to agree right now, so why don’t we find out together? I saw Tick Tock go to his room, let’s take a quick glance to see if there’s anything of note happening.

Derpy: You mean spy on him? That just.. doesn’t feel right..

Doctor: It’s the only way we’re going to get any answers. [starts walking] I’m doing it with or without you. So? Coming?

Derpy: Eh.. fine. Only to prove that he’s not up to anything.

Doctor: [slight skepticism] We’ll see. Off we go.

They both sneak up to Tick Tock’s door.

Doctor: [hushed voice] Look, his door’s a bit open.

Derpy: [hushed voice] Doctor, this feels really wrong.

Doctor: [hushed voice/frustrated] The only thing wrong here is the angle, all I can see are shadows. Oh.. wait just a second, what’s this?

Derpy: [hushed voice] What? What is it?

Doctor: [hushed voice, concerned and increasingly intense] Is that.. It can’t be, but that silhouette looks like.. like..

Derpy: [hushed voice, worried] Like what?

Doctor: [hushed voice, increasingly angry] Oh of course, it all makes sense. The background in war, restricted emotion, a knack for inventing..

Derpy: [hushed voice, concerned] What is it, Doctor? What does it look like?

Doctor: [furious] A Dalek!

The Doctor slams Tick Tock’s door open.

Tick Tock: AH! Oh, Doctor? Derpy?

Doctor: [fury, then calm confusion] Yes! We were here the whole time and know exactly what you’re planning! To think you’d have the NERVE to stay in my TARDIS while creating a.. a.. What in the world is that?

Tick Tock: Oh this? This is just a side project I’m working on. The perfect container for basic condiments and seasonings. One simple delivery system for ketchup, mustard, salt, and pepper.

Doctor: Oh.. well, uh that’s.. great! Definitely much better than.. Ah well never mind that. Handy little gadget there, Tick Tock, keep up the good work! [starts walking out]

Derpy: [stern] Doctor. Talk to him.

Doctor: Aw that’s not necessary, all’s forgotten, right Tick Tock?

Tick Tock: [confused] Doctor, what did you think I was making?

Doctor: Nothing! I just.. I.. [sighs, defeated/ashamed] I thought you were making a Dalek. A creature from my world that brought great pain to the universe..

Tick Tock: What? Why would you think I’d do such a thing?

Doctor: Well lately it’s seemed that a lot of your ideas have been reminiscent of ones I’ve seen in the past that caused a lot of harm. I was worried it meant you were going down a dark path of some sort.

Tick Tock [concerned]: I-I’m so sorry if something I did led you to believe that I would be that type of pony.

Derpy: You didn’t do anything, Tick Tock.

Doctor: [solemn] Derpy’s right, it isn’t you at all, it’s me. I’ve had friends and allies in the past that turned on me later in life. One of my greatest enemies.. was once one of my closest friends. What I’m trying to say is that trust.. doesn’t always come easy to me, and when I see potential signs of betrayal I get.. antsy.

Derpy: [shocked/sympathetic] Doctor, I’m so sorry. I had no idea your old friends treated you like that.. but remember, we’re not them. I know trust can be hard, but we’ll always do our best to treat you with the kindness you deserve.

Tick Tock: And if you ever have questions about my inventions or concepts you can always ask, I’d be more than happy to explain. Plus if something I’m thinking of reminds you of something dangerous, such warnings would be more than welcome.

Doctor: [calm/relieved] Thank you. I’m sorry I accused you, Tick Tock, there will be no more of that I can assure you. And as for you, Derpy, sorry for dragging you into this and making you worry. Thank you both for setting me straight.

Derpy: [cheery/relieved] Always happy to help. Now come on, let’s go somewhere, we’ve been cooped up in the TARDIS for too long.

Tick Tock: If I could make a suggestion, somewhere with food would provide a great opportunity to test my new device.

Derpy: This may be the only time I won’t suggest muffins.

Tick Tock: True, these would not make good additions to baked goods. Maybe I could make one that accommodates that better.

Derpy: Ooh it could have cinnamon, or blueberries, ooh chocolate!

Doctor: Could I suggest a compartment for butter?

The conversation trails off as the three walk off to the console room.

The End.

[moodooivy]

Ranking Sanscest ships

To celebrate the fact that it's almost Valentine's Day I have decided I wanted to rank all Sanscest ships (I won't be including ships like Erosion x Ceno, Paperjam x Fresh, Fallacy x Encre, Mad Sci ships, Passive ships, Shattered ships, Empireverse ships, etc. I'll also leave out genderbends because then there would be way too much). I'll try not to be bias and just put every Swap Sans ship at the top, but if I like it and think it's good, it's going near the top... Or well. Bottom... Keep in mind this is all my opinion, which is constantly changing. This might not be in the best order but I tried. Also, when I say bad I just mean I dislike it. I don't think any ship is necessarily "bad". All ships are good... Except for the first five. I do think they're pretty bad... Anyway! (Ok not anyway. Real quick I jut wanna warn you that I dislike a lot of popular ships. Please don't yell at me if your favorite is near the top. Or at least not at the bottom)

111: And the worst ship in my opinion is.......; Dussic/Classic x Dust! Dussic is just bad. Very bad. It's boring, it's weird, it doesn't make sense, it's gross, and that's all I'mma say. I wont give an explanation to every ship but if I have something to say I'll say it.

110: Classic x Nightmare Lazymare is bad. You're going to see a lot of Classic ships, Dream ships, and Ink ships near the bottom. This ship definitely stems from Classic harems. Aka the worst part of this fandom (To me. Ship whatever you want. Just keep all your harems away from me unless it's a Blue harem or Fluttershy harem. We'll talk with a Dust harem).

109: Classic x Horror

108: Classic x Error Ah yes. Lazyglitch. Error in love with the original anomaly. The most generic cookie cutter Sans out there. He's a real catch. I mean I guess it would make sense Error wouldn't want to destroy his AU since it's the original but. Still.

107: Cross x Dream Cream. One of, if not THE most popular ship in the family. Also one of the worst. Why? Because it's generic and bland. People try too hard to make it look cute. It looks cute but it really isn't.

106: Classic x Ink

105: Dream x Dust Drust is boring. I don't like it when people ship Dream with the Bad Sanses if you couldn't tell. I know a lot of people who do this with him, I'm not gonna name names, I don't want to shame anyone because they can do what they want, but it's still annoying.

104: Fell x Ink

103: Dream x Horror

102: Fresh x Nightmare

101: Fresh x Dream Dreamfresh. I dunno. Maybe Dream can make Fresh feel something?

100: Dream x Fell

99: Alter x Gans

98: Black x Blue

97: Blue x Razz

96: Fell x Razz

95: Dream x Nightmare People often forget that Dream and corrupted Nightmare are not related. This isn't incest. That being said this still isn't good.

94: Dust x Reaper

93: Error x Reaper

92: Error x Outer

91: Error x Horror This ship is absolutely adorable. I see Horror as being the only Bad Sans (Besides maybe Nightmare) Error will stand and allow to touch him because he likes to cuddle with the big ol' teddy bear mass that is Horror. It's only so low because it's not that good.

90: Hate x Nightmare

89: Cross x Epic

88: Color x Delta

87: Blue x Delta

86: Bill x Blue

85: 404 x Bill

84: Alter x Blue

83: Color x Killer

82: Killer x Outer

81: Outer x Science

80: Lust x Nightmare

79: Fell x Science

78: Fresh x Horror

77: Error x Lust

76: Blue x Hate

75: Melon x Sugar

74: Fell x Fresh

73: Nightmare x Reaper

72: Cross x Ink

71: Dream x Ink I really don't ship Dream with anyone. I just can't see him falling in love with anyone. But if he were to love anyone I think it would be Ink because they're both kinda guardians (But then he'd loose interest when he finds out Ink's intent). I list more Dream ships below but they're only there because I like them more.

70: Dream x Geno I ship the CQ bros with the Stars.

69: Ink x Reaper Well well well...

68: Geno x Ink

67: Geno x Nightmare

66: Fresh x Science

65: Dream x Error

64: Dream x Killer ZeFanatic. I blame you for why I like this and think it's kinda hot.

63: Killer x Nightmare This ship is so annoying... But there's so much hilarious potential! Squee! It's kinda good! (I'm honestly hooked on the idea of a fem Killer singing Poisonous Love from Rio 2)

62: Dream x Outer

61: Fell x Nightmare

60: Classic x Lust

59: Fresh x Lust I once saw this adorable comic of these two and ever since I did I fell in love with this ship.

58: Horror x Lust Horrorlust is too overrated for me to enjoy it. I also just don't think it's that good.

57: Cross x Error They would fight over literally. Everything.

56: Ccino x Dream

55: Dance x Lust They'll probably dance together. I think this is the best ship with Lust because Dance is a realistic and healthy partner for him in my opinion.

54: Classic x Fell

53: Geno x Reaper Before anyone threatens my family for putting Afterdeath so low in this ranking, I just don't like the tsundere dynamic. When it comes to tsunderes there is a very fine line before it's clear said tsundere is not a tsundere and is just not into the other person. There is only one ship in my opinion that nails the "Tsundere x Flirt" dynamic.

52: Ccino x Hate

51: Cross x Killer Just like Afterdeath, too many tsundere stuff. But at least it's not all just 'Tsundere. Thas it.'.

50: Ink x Lust

49: Farm x Horror Same situation as Horrorlust.

48: Epic x Fresh

47: Fatal x Lavender

46: Ink x Killer Killer simps for Nightmare. Ink simps for Dream. You get it~

45: Error x Fresh I used to hate this ship. But I've decided to open my mind and have decided it's not that bad actually.

44: Squid x Octopus- I mean Ink x Nightmare

43: Nightmare x Science Bookworms lol.

42: Blue x Science

41: Error x Ink I keep going back and forth on whether I think this ship is good or not. I think "hey it's kinda cute", but than I look at an Errink pic and want to throw up. I have finally decided on my opinion. It's good. As long as people don't take it seriously. It's not 'good good' so don't try to make it dramatic but it's cute so make some silly art. Even better if it's a poly with Fresh or Blue.

40: Blue x Melon

39: Blue x Classic

38: Blue x Outer

37: Blue x Gans

36: Blue x Farm

35: Blue x Lavender

34: Dust x Lust

33: Cross x Dust

32: Blue x Fresh

31: 404 x Blue

30: Dust x Razz

29: Horror x Nightmare They so silly and cute.

28: Blue x Geno

27: Lust x Science This ships makes me think of Rarijack but if it was actually good.

26: Error x Fell

25: Dust x Fell

24: Horror x Killer They'd get into so much shenanigans. I like to imagine Horror would want to eat Killer becaus he's small but not too small.

23: Error x Nightmare

22: Ccino x Nightmare

21: Dust x Horror

20: Dust x Nightmare

19: Fell x Lust

18: Ccino x Killer Cat lovers. Lol.

17: Blue x Ink As long as you don't make Ink shorter this is adorable.

16: Asylum x Blue

15: Blue x Fell

14: Cross x Nightmare Better than Cream. So much drama potential.

13: Blue x Dream

12: Blue x Reaper

11: Blue x Lust Lust would give Blue so many cute nicknames. He would be so sweet to his baby Blue.

10: Blue x Ccino This is definitely the most wholesome ship of all time.

9: Blue x Dust Probably the most popular ship that I enjoy. So many '"I Can make him better""I can make him worse"' vibes. Also I just ship Blue with the Bad Sanses so hard.

8: Blue x Killer Lol Killer such a flirt and would tease Blue so much.

7: Blue x Horror Horrorberry is very cute. Blue would make Horror so many tacos.

6: Fresh x Ink Paperfresh this, Errink that. When are people gon wake up and realize the truly perfect artsy couple. They so silly! It's kind of like Horrorkiller where I can imagine them getting into different high jinks. I especially love the idea of them bothering Error together. Ink gets scary dog privilege because Fresh lol.

5: Blue x Fatal Fatalberry is very good. Enough said.

4: Dust x Killer I LOVE KILLERDUST SO DAMN MUCH SQUEEEE!!! Dust is such a tsundere and Kills is such a flirt. I know I criticized other ships for this dynamic but... Hush. This is the only one that makes it really work. There's so much potential for this pair. This is the highest non Swap pair lol.

3: Blue x Cross Crossberry will always be the cutest ship ever. Cuter than the below pairs even. I love their dynamic so much. Blue would so fangirl over Cross's hotness constantly. He such a bottom lol.

2: Blue x Nightmare Nightberry. I. Love. This. SHIP!!! SO MUCH!!! It's so cuuute! And kinda hot honestly-

1: And the best ship in my opinion is...; Blue x Error Errorberry is and will always be my favorite ship. They are beauty and the beast, opposites attract, they were made for each other. I love this ship (Except when people make Error shorter than Blue. Don't like that. Bleh. Blue must be the shortest).

Feel free to disagree with me and tell me your opinions. I'd be very interested to hear what you guys think. There's way too many ships for me to tag so I won't even bother.

[sailorb00]

Raph x Mona Lisa..? I don’t have any strong opinions on the ship just curious if it’s part of the au or not. Other than that, is it possible that the Salamandrians know/have fought the krang before?? 👀👀

WOWEE THAT WAS QUICK—firstly, just wanna say hi and thank you for all the sweet comments in the reblogs @spicyteri ! ✨👋✨ It’s greatly appreciated! 💕 You the MVP!

But uh, yeah, strap yourselves in because this reply is a lot longer than I initially planned FSDF

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Ah yes, the big ol’ elephant in the room. To be honest… I’m on the fence. Kinda. WHICH IS INSANE, because I’ve been a Ramona fan since I was a kid. ‘Raphael Meets his Match’ is legit the only episode I vividly remember from watching poorly recorded VHS tapes with my older cousins when I was little. It has a death grip on me or something, I swear. Mona Lisa really left an impression on me fsdf.

The reason why I say that I’m on the fence, is because ROTMNT Raph is different from the other classic depictions/iterations of him and I think the version of Y’Gythgba/Mona Lisa that I have in mind would change the dynamic between them. Like I can’t see Raph—who I think is like canonically 6ft tall??—who’s hobby is collecting teddy bears, petting animals, and being the protective big brother/mother hen of the lair, sees a tiny newt alien girl, who is barely as big as his arm—she’s like just a few inches taller than Mikey and April and still this sal gal ain’t even close to hitting the 5’0” mark FSDF—and develops romantic feelings. Rather, I think the big guy would take one look at her and would think ‘tiny green and pink baby. small. like brothers. must protec 😤’. Obviously, he’d find that she is capable of taking care of herself, but still.

BUT—they’d still have a close bond! Like I picture Raph 100% being the first of the Mad Dogs (save for S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. but that’s because Y’Gythgba/Mona is more at ease around AI/technology 😞) to develop any kind of bond and get through Y’Gythgba/Mona’s heavily guarded emotional walls as they have similar experiences with abandonment trauma/childhood neglect (✨backstory✨). By being open with Raph, it in turn helps her to be open/vulnerable with the others, and let’s her be more honest about her people and why she’s on earth. Also I like to think that his stature puts Y’Gythba/Mona at ease since he’s tall and big like pretty much 99% of her people, and something as simple as sitting next to him or being near him gives her that sense of familiarity that lessens the sting of homesickness/bouts of anxiety. Plus, I think out of all the brothers, Raph would be the one she forms the closest/strongest platonic bond with and would actively seek out to spend time with ✨🥺✨ So yeah, not a romantic ship like it has been set in past versions, but they def would have a strong platonic bond between them.

And yet, in saying that too… there is something very cute about picturing Raph fawning over/being all mushy about his tiny 4’8”-4’9” alien gf after she wipes the floor with him during a sparring match, or alternatively watches from the sidelines as she wipes the floor with some bad guys. Or when she stands up for him when the restaurant puts pickles on his burger which he asked to have removed, but is too polite to say anything✨🥺✨ No matter which universe he’s in, Raph is an absolute simp for a woman that can kick his butt and I don’t think that will ever change.

To be honest, I’m probably more partial to either pairing her up with no one (scandalous, I know 😩✨) or with Donatello because a) he is unashamedly my favourite boy in ROTTMNT; b) since I’m pushing my fan depiction of Y’Gythgba to be more like her 80’s ver. and the IDW adaption in where she is more of an intellectual/a big ol’ nerd, I think they’d have more chemistry potential, and c) IDW ignited the Domona flame in my heart and it’s yet to be extinguished 🥲

However… if the AU ever did/do end up going down the Damona route, it would probably be more like a confused one-sided crush on Y’Gythgba/Mona’s behalf. In my head, she’s a socially awkward bean who has never been around beings her age before (because of ✨more backstory✨) and she meets a fellow ✨intellectual✨ who IMMEDIATELY grates on her nerves from day dot because of his cocky, argumentative and know-it-all attitude, but simultaneously admires, envies and respects his genius?? Poor girl wouldn’t even know what a crush is and she is STRUGGLING.

Plus it’d be hilarious if the closest person/being to Donnie’s ideal ‘pixie dream girl’ i.e. Atomic Lass, is right in front of him and he shows no interest (at first…? 😏). Plus he would be OBLIVIOUS to the irony, despite literally everyone else seeing it FSDF.

Now, finally, to your other prompt!

The Krang definitely play a large part in how the Salamandrians became what they are today i.e. Empyrean exposure. I touched on it before in an earlier post, but like for the Yokai/Mutants on Earth, Empyrean is part of a Salamandrian’s biochemical make up. However, it is also plays an integral part in initiating the metamorphic process in the early/‘tadpole’ stage of the Salamandrian lifecycle, as back on Salamandria, the deep pools and ponds where young Salamandrians reside are fused with Empyrean (like the Crying Titan Fountain((?)) in the S2 Finale). When Salamandria is invaded by the Triceratons at least a decade prior to the start of ROTTMNT, and later destroyed, they lost the pools with the infused Empyrean. Even with all their technological know-how, have been unable to replicate the chemical formula, spiralling the Salamandrian race onto the path of an early extinction 🥲

But in terms of having a direct connection/the origins of how Empyrean came to Salamandria, I have one scenario that I’ve been working on—different from what I’ve considered previously—but it’s also pretty much ripped out of the IDW universe FSDF (can you tell that IDW is my 2nd favourite TMNT iteration?) so SPOILERS if you haven’t read it/ or plan to read it.

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So similarly to how the IDW Triceratons were a creation of the Utrom to be workers and soldiers, I can kinda see the Salamandrians coming into being via a Krang experiment thousands of years ago, or at least some time before the Krang initially went to Earth.

I’m kinda leaning towards the Krang initially creating early ‘Salmandrians’ from, well, salamanders/newts (i.e. not sure if they’d be like Earth newts/salamanders or just be somehow related to the species on Earth???) though they don’t have a proper name at this time and are called soldiers or fodder, etc— basically a more primitive, feral versions of their current selves— as an easy supply of zombie soldiers for the Krangs’ army for when they invade/conquer worlds, rather than waiting to get on world and starting from scratch with that planets population. Y’know, in an attempt to fast track the process. And it works pretty well. The soldier fodder are large, hulking brutes—not very bright or take direct orders correctly, but are easy to mutate, are naturally strong, and serve their purpose.

But… then one Krang scientist gets the bright idea to improve on their soldier fodder and boost their abilities with this new fandangled substance ✨Empyrean✨ Early tests are mostly successful, however, the new and improved zombie soldier fodder aren’t cleared for large scale invasions as some of the newer mutations have shown signs of increased intellect, with some even forcibly trying to resist/fight back against their enslavers. The Krang do what they can to stamp this ‘trait’ out of their soldier fodder, but with each new batch/improved generation, the ‘rebellious’ mutations become smarter and more strategic, seemingly lying in wait for their moment to strike back.

It’s around this time that the majority of the Krang leave for earth and get trapped in the prison dimension. With a great number of their creators gone, the mutations seize their chance and rise up against them—literally biting and consuming the hand that ‘fed’ them FSDF. Ah, the irony.

In the aftermath of the uprising and without the return of the other Krang in sight, the mutations claimed their victory, claiming the remains of the planet as their own and cementing their status across universe as ‘deadly’. Also, in honour of the tiny creatures that their kind started off as, they call themselves ‘Salamandrians’, and the rest is history 😚👌

So yeah, the Salamandrians would have technically fought against the Krang, but it would have been over a thousand years ago. I mean, Salamandrians would know of the Krang at the very least, but I don’t think the Krang have been seen since the uprising, nor do the Salamandrians think that they still exist.

Is it a super creative backstory? No.

Is it a little Mary-Sue? Yes.

Do I like the idea of Y’Gythba/Mona coming to Earth, and after learning of the events of the movie from the Mad Dogs, looks them all dead in the eye and tells them that her ancestors ATE Krang? Yes. Yes I do 😌✨

I hope that helps ✨👉👈✨ If you have any suggestions for improvement or anything, I’m all ears! Thanks again for asking btw 💕

[kosi-annec]

[BNHA] Season 4 episode 4

Those two ladies with animal ears are girlfriends, change my mind

"deku? like deck??" Lmao i mean, tbf its kidna impossible for anyone to realize the significance of the name unless they've actually been around during his days being bullied

AAAAA ERI MY BABY!!

EW FUCK OFF OVERHAUL. DEKU GO FULL COWLING

thank god for mirio, he knew they can't really do anything and can't look sus, so gotta act casual, tell half truths

HHHHHH OH GOD, ERI NOOOO

god, there is really no winning here for them, cuz yeah mirio is right they cant pry it'll just make overhaul show up less so they need to leave, but deku is also right, it is very strange for a pro hero to just leave a very clearly scared girl. Either way, whatever they do is gonna be sus in overhaul's eyes no matter what

NO NO DO NOT FOLLOW HIM, HE WILL KILL YOU

Hhhhh eri...

I understand the part of not (perminently) killing those thugs, but wut in the world did they have that overhaul wanted if they just let the money burn

Yeah, deku, ya gotta be smart bout it and have patience, y'all dont even have enough evidence to just storm his house. Y'all don't even know where his base is yet

"his beautiful face!" You and i both mina

LMAO just imagine having a casual jog and u just see a broccoli teen just comin at u in the speed of flash

... god, that's the curse of having future vision, knowing what will happen and desperately trying to change it, but fail to do so

Wait he's gonna die in the next year?? then... based on the timeline... He's gonna die around season 7 or 8... Well fuck

Ah yes, he was ok with dying, but then suddenly became a father figure to his favorite protege, good ol classic

aaaaand moment's ruined lmao

Great now i gotta make sure the stay and watch after the end credits theme, there's extra shit now

[ifidiedinadream]

I'm on a boring mass lecture so naturally my mind is wandering to Olli. Nothing new but I also have somekind of baby fever 😩 I want Olli to fuck me all day and dirty talk all the classic breeding shit like he's not letting me get up from bed until I'm pregnant 💦💦💦

ah shit yes the good ol breeding kink strikes again 🥵🥵

please i want this too 😳