#all i ask is that he never ruins my 50/50

[lameow-l]

look at this fucking ass.. comes home instead of neuvillette and after c6

[arlathen]

today i have been giving ted talks in my room about how people who say they dont like country music are Phucking Stupit. 

[obsessedwrhys]

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ The Seven x Deadpool!Reader

t/w: loooots of dark humour/jokes, reader is insensitive and an asshole since they're also a supe working at vought, your powers are the exact same as Deadpool (even the skin condition), mention about killing, death, gore, r-pe, n@zis?!?!, alcohol, some intimacy (?). Also reader is gn!!

ᯓ★ here's a version with the boys <3

HOMELANDER

This man hates you so fking much

Has tried to kill you multiple times, he tried lasering you, tearing you in half and even throwing you into the sky but you just always manage to come back like the damn plague

Eventually he gives up trying to kill you and just had to deal with the fact you'll be kept alive... just temporarily though... he's still looking for ways to kill you

However, your powers gave you dozens of advantages when around Homelander.

He can be having a meeting about something serious and everyone would be listening to him due to their fear towards him, then there's you who'd be doing your own thing and just shout out unrelated things like "Donald Trump just blocked me on Twitter!! HAH!! SUCK IT CORNFLACKS!!"

Everyone turning to you with startled expressions while Homelander simply rolls his eyes before continuing his presentation.

You are a complete nightmare to the PR team, that's why for interviews or any events, you'll always be paired up with Homelander so he can keep you under control and stop you from saying weird shit that could ruin the company's image.

"So Deadpool, how does it feel being in the Seven working alongside Homelander? You've been working together for almost 3 years now" A reporter would ask as you two are surrounded by screaming fans.

"Like I'm in the twilight series, not because of the fantasy but because I'm still waiting for the part where he impregnates me—"

"O-kay! That's enough, just silly ol' Deadpool with those inside jokes"

"You can tell in this eyes that he wants to fuck me right now. HE'S GONNA FUCK ME!!" You shouted as you're being dragged away by him.

Obviously when you had found out about his relationship with Stormfront, especially her background, you had to say some shit about it. Not giving the slightest care about the fact he could be grieving over her death.

He'll be in his room standing in front of the window and you'd just storm in, being as loud as possible.

"I can't believe you dated a N@zi!! Is it because I'm Jewish?!" Which may or may not be true, nobody knows your origin.

He may hate your guts but if he ever needs someone to help him do some dirty work, you're the person for the job, you never ask why or how, which could be the only thing he likes about you.

"Y'know, maybe if you didn't have such a big mouth, you'd be tolerable"

"All the people I've slept with have said otherwise"

Compatibility? 50%

STARLIGHT

Before she joined the Seven, she had an image of what kind of person you were, she just didn't know it was this worse.

When you found out she used to work at this Sunday School Church, you just haaaaad to say something about it.

"So like, you say that prayer always works, but every night I pray for my hair to grow and it never does. Do you think God has me blocked? How do I get unblock?"

"Uh..."

You two surprisingly get along without one wanting to slice the other's throat, except sometimes the things you say can really piss her off. Which is why when the company assigned her a new costume, she was trying her hardest to avoid you, but you found out anyways.

"Holy shit Starlight! Nice costume, is this your Miley Cyrus breakthrough? Girl power!"

Insert her groaning out of annoyance.

Again, the second you discovered she was dating a guy behind the death of Translucent, you were heartbroken :(

"Of course this happens right when my therapist gives up on me!"

Despite your behaviour, you pitied her when it was revealed that she was taken advantage of by The Deep, so like any good friend, you took revenge by cooking his friend octopus and eating it happily in front of him.

"Revenge does taste sweet" You'd say happily while Starlight just watches by the side, both grateful and horrified at your actions.

In my opinion, you would definitely be the person she goes to once she starts working with the boys, you'll always be providing whatever information that happens in the company for her to use.

It helps her worry less about getting anyone killed 'cause you literally can't die.

Compatibility? 60%

QUEEN MAEVE

You're half the reason why she rethinks about her life choices when she wakes up in the morning

Not because you're a handful (which you are) but because you're always paired together on missions

"Deadpool! The hostages!"

"OKAY! God... you act just like my drunk uncle"

Which is a joke/nickname you like to address her by because of her alcoholism (yikes)

Whenever the company needs you for something, half of the time she's the one assigned to search for you.

There was this one time she caught you trying to have Anika track down Kanye West's location, nobody knows what shenanigans you were up to.

Another thing to mention was that you two were chosen by the company to sing a Christmas song for the year's Christmas ceremony.

Just imagine during the bridge of the song, she's singing normally while you're completely going off, your high note so high you were sure you had Mariah Carey a run for her money.

Even though she finds you a lot to deal with, you're actually her buddy to train with.

Since you're very skilled with Katanas, she likes to practice her swordsmanship with you.

You like to tease or make fun of her everytime she fails to strike you which is good motivation for her to get better. Maybe you guys bring out the best of each other?

Last thing I'd like to add is when she was found out by the public that she was a lesbian (She's bi but you get the running joke), you had gifted her a t-shirt that says, 'Biggest Dick in Town'

Compatibility? 80%

THE DEEP

Your human punching bag

If Vought was a high school instead of a company, you'd be the bully and he'd be the nerd getting stuffed inside the locker room.

For example, Homelander could be confronting Starlight about her relationship with Hughie and everyone would just start raising their voices til you come in yelling "SHUT UP!" to the Deep who had not said a single thing during the entire time.

Just imagine him staring at you like 😐

To be honest you also ate his friend octopus so you guys are actually never getting the chance to make up.

"Look dude, I don't appreciate your tone"

"I don't appreciate your haircut either but we can't all get what we want"

You may be a crazy person but you weren't going to be okay with the fact he violates every woman he sees, so not only did you cook the octopus but you also called in a male stripper disguised as a woman just for him to celebrate on his birthday.

Just imagine him all happy when you tell him the news and later that night he'll run inside your room, completely pissed off at your act after finding out but you just laughed and said.

"Happy April Fools 😚!"

"That's next month dipshit!"

Also, you never understood his weird fantasies. He has a thing for sea animals??You've caught him multiple times either flirting or getting off to one. It was concerning even for you.

"From how many animals you've fucked, you might just turn from the ocean's 'Seaman' to 'Semen'." You joked which he did not find funny.

Maybe you messing with him could just be your way of getting along with him since you're the same with everybody else, it's just he has more flaws to poke fun of and he's sensitive about them.

Compatibility? 5%

A-Train

He thinks you're fucked up in the head.

Half of the shit that comes out of your mouth just has him reacting like in the GIF

Buuuuuut you're the one he always brings to the club because you always know ways to give the party life.

You've somehow even got on the wall of fame, a lovely portrait of you with your hands making out a heart.

Also, you know about his business with Compound V waaaaay before anyone else did. He's still grateful you didn't tell anyone.

Just like everyone else, you also enjoy messing with him except he's fast and constantly avoiding you.

"Hey A-Train, how much do you wanna bet that I can die faster than you?"

"Dude... seriously?"

You guys rarely get sent on missions together because you're always slowing him down, not basing off the fact he's fast but because you get easily sidetracked with other things.

"Alright, we're here now, how much C4 do we use?"

"Fuck math! Let's use all of 'em!"

You ended up detonating all of the C4 on you before he could object the idea, he was able to run out in time, your action nearly getting him killed while you ended up dead.

But it's fine you'll just grow back.

You know that race he has against Shockwave? You'd be at the VIP section standing near where Homelander and Queen Maeve is, waving your huge banner that has a picture of A-Train's face and yours pasted over a figure carrying the other in bridal style.

Compatibility? 55%

TRANSLUCENT

He makes people paranoid but you make him disgusted.

There was this one time he was bored so he snuck in your room to see what you were doing.

At first he was confused why you had so many cute plushies but then the more he explored your room, he realised your room is basically every collector's dream.

You even had a huge teddy bear in the corner of your dressing room.

The reason why he doesn't like to spy on you is because the last time he did, he saw you putting your hand in the blender, then proceeding to put your private part into it.

Never again, he thought, never again.

He doesn't need to witness you carry out your intrusive thoughts.

Surprising enough, you're close with his son, I'd like to think that after his death, you practically became the kid's godparent. Though you can be sort of a bad influence, leading up to how he is in Gen V.

You always tell him you hate kids but he thinks otherwise.

After all, he can read people well.

You guys like to pull pranks on each other since you guys like competing on who's more sneaky

There was this one time, you woke up to find your suit gone so you ended up walking around the building, completely naked and unfazed by people's stares.

It was when you walked around the corner that you found your suit worn by someone else, turns out it was Translucent under it.

"Why is it so fucking tight dude? How do you stay in this shit all day?"

"You get used to it"

Compatibility? 85%

BLACK NOIR

Lovers.

He doesn't mind your attitude because he actually can't say anything about it.

No seriously... he can't talk.

But hey he's got a good shoulder to cry on.

"I just... hffgh... I can't believe my album didn't surpass lady gaga's... She doesn't even know how to use Katanas like I do!" You'd let out a loud sob while he just stares at you for a while before placing a hand on your shoulder, patting you gently.

You know the scene where he's playing the piano for one of the company's party? You'll be laying down on top of it and singing in your usual overdramatic high pitched voice.

He finds your humour amusing so he always does this little head tilt like in the GIF when you say some weird shit while waiting for his response.

Since both of you are the only members of the Seven that wears a full body suit, obviously you had to try on his but since it was impossible to achieve that, you just had the company make a copy for you.

He'll be walking down the hallway doing his normal routine until he notises another person in his suit, the moment you speak and he realises its just you is when he let's his guard down.

"I just got some transplants done to my ass, that's why I look different"

You both are never sent on missions together 'cause you guys don't work well, pretty much nobody works well with him since he's the silent type.

Example, you two were hiding behind some crates ready to jump on the bad guys who were snucking in illegal drugs. He gestured for you to wait as he went to check again, only to turn back to see you gone.

"Marry Christmas motherfuckers!"

He heard your voice shout and he found you standing on top of the stacked crates, machine gun in hand and began shooting aimlessly.

He didn't even do anything but just watch until you ran out of bullets. However, multiple survived and began shooting at you so you ended running towards where he's hiding at.

"Yankee yankee!" You yelped.

You know the video of the two girls taking off their wigs to reveal that they're bald and they start bonding over it? I'd like to imagine that's you and Black Noir with the skin condition under the suits.

One more scenario I wanna add, you guys could be having a meeting but since you were bored and you always hated meetings, you'd draw a big heart on a piece of paper and show it to Black Noir from across the table. Surprisingly he'd draw a heart back to you.

You were overjoyed so you began to draw you and him doing it, doggy style. He stares at your doodle for a while before choosing to just focus on the meeting instead.

Compatibility? 90%

(This took a while cause I was on vacation)

[chaoticace2005]

Rules for the Hazbin Hotel, authored by Vaggie:

1. No drugs.

2. No fights.

3. No pranks.

4. No problematic language.

5. No murder (OR TERRITORIAL GENOCIDE WHAT THE FUCK ANGEL)

6. No smuggling in of drugs. Not by sticking them up your ass. Or by hiding them in a pizza box. Or by slingshotting them to the roof. Or getting someone else to. Not at all.

7. No sexual rendezvous with outsiders in the hotel. No SHOWING sexual rendezvous with strangers to people of the hotel either.

8. Make sure the pig/future pets stay in the patron’s room. (This includes eggs!!)

9. No singing Limit singing to once twice per day

10. Stop flirting with the bartender Angel

11. Don’t call Husk “Husker” unless he allows it.

12. No harassing the staff at all. This includes asking who tops.

13. Don’t suggest anything sexual/romantic to Alastor unless you want your head cut off.

14. NO CUTTING OFF PEOPLE’S HEADS

15. NO EATING PEOPLE

16. NO MAKING CHARLIE CRY.

17. Don’t ask me to put my spear “inside you” Angel, what the fuck?

18. Don’t turn the interior of the hotel into a swamp?! Keep it contained in your room if you must!

19. No stabbing staff or residents. No matter how much they look like bugs! (OR IF THEYRE NAME IS ANGEL)

20. Don’t try and stab bugs if they’re within 10 feet of another demon.

21. Don’t call anyone a “bitch” OR TALK ABOUT HOW MY NAME SOUNDS LIKE “VAGINA”

22. Limit Niffty’s access to sharp objects.

23. NO DEALS ALASTOR

24. No drinking. Limit drinking at bar.

25. No mentioning the Stock Market Crash of 1929. For everyone’s benefit.

26. Don’t blow a hole in the wall.

27. Try to keep roast battles OUTSIDE the hotel. (Or stop picking fights?? Please Alastor I swear to God…)

28. No spying on the hotel for outside sources or putting technology that can be used against us.

29. No evil laughing in the middle of the night, what the fuck Alastor?

30. No building weapons/war machines.

31. No eggs! (Fine the eggs can stay.)

32. Someone please keep an eye on Niffty. (And the eggs.)

33. Stop touching people ANGEL.

34. Don’t make other people storm off HUSK.

35. Respect boundaries.

36a. If Angel looks like he’s about to pass out/cry don’t comment. Let him do his thing.

36b. Don’t try to talk to Angel if he’s on the phone with Valentino. Honestly don’t even mention his phone calls with Valentino.

37. Please don’t call Lucifer “Daddy”

38. Don’t turn into a 20 foot tall demon-eating creature unless absolutely necessary.

39. Don’t cause angry loan sharks to show up at the front door.

40. NO EXPLOSIONS!

41. Rule #2, “No fights” can be broken if the person you’re fighting is Valentino. Or Adam.

42. Don’t lie to your girlfriend or hide the fact you were secretly an angel.

43. DONT TALK ABOUT PEOPLE’S TITS (or lack of)

44. KNOCK BEFORE ENTERING A BEDROOM ESPECIALLY IF SOMEONE’S HAVING MAKEUP SEX

45. Don’t give people makeovers while they’re sleeping, ANGEL!

46. Don’t pretend to eat someone’s pet, ALASTOR

47. Don’t die.

48. I never want to hear the words “cum-plete” again.

49. STOP HAVING FIGHTS ACROSS THE BUILDING LUCIFER AND ALASTOR!!

50. If Charlie is passed out on the couch LET HER SLEEP

51. No making bombs in the hotel Cherri!

52. Stop breaking rules and then saying it’s “FOR SIR PENTIOUS!”

53. Angel don’t try to shoot someone if they break spaghetti.

54. Don’t break spaghetti. Or “ruin” Italian food. Whatever the fuck that means. This apparently includes pineapple on pizza.

55. Don’t mention Valentino unless Angel brings him up first.

56. Don’t comment on Angel and Husk’s flirting.

57. Only call Angel “Anthony” if things are serious (or if you’re Husk)

58. Don’t use any of the nicknames Husk and Angel use for each other. This includes but is not limited to: “Whiskers”, “Legs”, “Kitty”, “Webs”, “Tony”, “Love”, and “Baby.”

59. It’s better not to question whatever facts Husk gives about his past.

60. Family dinners at 6 pm unless you can’t make it due to prior obligation. Game nights after on Sundays.

61. No hunting people for sport and NO KNIFE MONOPOLY.

62. Don’t attach knives to a roomba so you can have a “boyfriend” Niffty.

63. Keep Niffty away from Roombas.

64. Alastor, treat people with decency. Really, it’s not that hard.

65. No making giant ducks that breathe fire to chase people around the hotel just because they call you short.

66. Therapy. Everyone.

67. DONT HAVE SEX ON THE BAR WHAT THE FUCK GUYS?!

68. If Valentino enters the property you have permission to stab him.

69. “Hell is forever” is bullshit. You guys aren’t. You can do this.

[bet-on-me-13]

Danny runs for Mayor

Simple Prompt: Danny runs for the Gotham Mayor position

Extended Prompt: Danny is an absolute little shit throughout his entire campaign but still manages to win because he is legitimately one of the best candidates around

Just imagine the crack that could come from this!

Reporter: What is your stance on Vigilantism? Danny: Well I agree that Vigilantes are helpful for the communities that need them, and they should work with the police at every opportunity, I feel like the idea will always be a city where Vigilantes are not needed. Also I fail to see the relevancy of the question, there are no vigilantes in Gotham Reporter: What do you mean? What about the Bat-Family? Danny: No, Batman isn’t a Vigilante. Batman is a Crime Lord.

Or

Danny: As mayor, I promise that I will not be infected by corruption. Not because of my moral standings, but because I absolutely fucking hate clowns and I will never accept a bribe as long as that guy is still alive. Yes this is me putting a hit out on the Joker. Crime Bosses, if you want to try and bribe me, you gotta kill him first or I won’t even consider it!

Or

Batman: Why is a Meta-Human running for Gotham Office? You know this city doesn’t have a very good track record with people like you. Even the Signal had a rough start. Danny: Well, I just had a strong compulsion to help this city reach the peak of it’s potential *looks over Batman’s shoulder to see Lady Gotham holding up Cue Cards telling him what to say. She promised to help with his paperwork for the next 50 years if he became Mayor and helped fix her city* Danny: Such a strong compulsion...

Or

Penguin: Look kid, I don’t care if you have enough power to destroy me at the subatomic level, I have enough money to ruin you, your sister, your parents, even your uncle! Danny: Oh really? I could get the souls of every person you have ever killed to get confessions out of them. Or I could give them the power to rip you apart. Or I could even just possess you and donate all your money to charity.

Or

Danny: Oh god dammit! Vlad: Hello Badger! Glad to see you followed in my footsteps instead of your fathers! Danny: This wasn’t because of you! Lady Gotham asked for help! Vlad: A WIN IS A WIN!

[starkeyisthelastname]

No bc imagine you’re over at pornstar!Rafe’s house one night and he hooks his phone up to his TV to play some music while you fuck and it immediately just starts blaring your solo porn. I would literally be so fuckin smug about it that he would fuck me within an inch of my life.😋 (I’d also never let him live it down, I’d be bringing that shit up when we were 50)

because your ego needs boosted too sometimes. just don’t get too excited about it. 💦🤩

Pornstar!Rafe didn’t invite girls over very often, his private space was his private space, so the fact he had started slowly inviting you over every week, was a big step to him. It wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle, you two were strictly just fucking still. But…fuck did you look pretty, naked in his bed as your fingers played with your wet pussy.

He knew things were going to get loud, and with that he tore his eyes away from you to turn on his tv so that he could play music. It wasn’t music that played when the screen came to life, it was a familiar solo video that you had shot last year. Your sweet moans blared through the speaker, the realization that he had jerked off to your own porn for his pleasure definitely had your head feeling big.

The smirk on your face, had Rafe’s striking blue eyes flashing a darker color as he realized the power of control he had was slipping and you were winning this time. Just not for long… as the man had you folded in half, legs nearly behind your head as he slammed into your hole. Maybe he was embarrassed, but he wasn’t going to admit that. He’d rather fuck your life off with his dick.

“Yeah, who’s fuckin smirkin now?” Rafe spat at you, his large hands coming to nearly smother your face as he used it as support to drill into you.

You gasped, his dick hitting your cervix as his toned hips slapped against yours at his pussy ruining pace. “H-holy shit.. you are so fucking big…” You cried, eyes rolling back underneath his hands as he basically was trying to erase what you saw on his tv.

Whether you liked it or not, Rafe felt he had been caught showing his obsession with you too early for his liking and he needed to fuck it out of you. “Shut up, don’t wanna hear nothin out of that whore mouth unless it’s my fucking name.”

You could believe how deep he was, somehow his size still as shocking as the first time. You didn’t care how rough or nasty he was, you loved all of it and the only man’s name you wanted to be screaming for the rest of your life was Rafe Cameron.

“Rafe! Rafe! Rafe!” It was like a sweet desperate cry of pleasure the way he had you creaming all over his cock much like in the solo video he had watched. Except this was so much fucking better, his dirty self getting off on how you just kept babbling his name. There was no other bitch that compared to the moans and screams of his sweet fucking angel. Yeah his..

His hands that had been covering your face removed themselves, one going to squeeze your throat, and the other roughly grabbing your jaw. “What are you fucking doing to me, huh?” He asked, eyes dark and face serious, all while he completely fucked you up in the best, most addicting way possible.

[angel-eyes05]

to leave the warmest bed i've ever known

pairing: spiderwoman!reader x miguel o’hara 

summary: after miguel’s fight with miles, you confront him in his office

warnings: this whole thing is basically one big argument there’s SO much angst, implied suicide attempt, HUGE ATSV SPOILERS DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THIS MOVIE, im projecting a little in some parts of this ngl (i cried writing a certain section of this, you'll know it when you read it lmao), mentions and descriptions of blood, gore, and death

word count:  4.1k

notes: i watched the movie yesterday…and miguel is on my mind. but i remember reading this namor x reader fanfic after i watched wakanda forever of a similar idea to this and i loved it so this is HEAVILY inspired by that fic, but just make it miguel. i would link it but ngl that was so long ago and i dont remember the author. if i end up finding it again ill put it here. also, just pretend miguel has been doing this whole spider society thing for a couple of years at least, it just needs to work like that for this ik its probably not canon but just roll with it lmao. and yes the title is a taylor swift lyric im so glad you noticed (im so sorry she's in my brain rn with the eras tour)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The anger boiled up inside your chest as you stormed your way across the lobby. Hundreds of different Spider-Man variants were scattered across the area, some more injured than the others. It sickened you sometimes. How he had so many people under his grasp and just decided to throw some of them at the walls sometimes, not caring how hard they hit the floor because they were all just ammo to him. How despite his denials of it, that’s probably what your role was to him as well. Nothing more than a bullet in his massive machine gun.

You normally tried not to think about it, how his determination towards his goal sometimes meant lack of care for others. But this time he had just gone too far. You always had a soft spot for Miles, watching closely on him whenever Miguel would let you go though scanners of all the different variants. You admired his struggle, but eventual success to taking up the previous Peter’s mantle, and always hated how Miguel talked about him. You knew there was no way Miles could’ve asked for any of this. For the pressures and struggles of being a Spider-Man, for everything causing such a strained relationship with his parents, for the death of his uncle, and for what will be the eventual death of his father. You definitely didn’t.

Ok lets do this one last time. Eh, whatever, there’s probably gonna be 50 other introductions after this one so it doesn’t really matter.

Being Earth-837’s Spider-Man has never been easy. Especially since you were bit when you were only 13 (another reason you sympathized with Miles and Gwen). Your life had followed the order of canon events to a perfect T, your older brother killed in a fight with a robber only two months after you were bit. You tried to overcome the burden of your powers by trying to live as normal of a teenage life as possible, but it was mostly in vain, having to give up multiple friendships and relationships in fear of those you love getting hurt. This was only elevated when your boyfriend Peter was murdered in the crossfire of an encounter with Doc Ock. You didn’t understand. You couldn’t. What you had done to deserve all of this. All you did was just be in the wrong place at the wrong time. You wonder sometimes what would happen if someone was in the same place you were when you got bit. If someone else went to the closed down area of that museum and ran into that spider. That stupid spider that ruined your life. Those thoughts slowly started to disappear for a bit. For a few years things were easy. Things seemed like they were finally going in your favor.

You were 25 when it happened. The last canon event. Ever since you were a little girl you hated your mother’s job. Losing nights of sleep over if she would come home or not. She always did though. She was good at her job. Too good though. Good enough to get promoted to police captain, which for who you were, was basically sealing her fate. She saved so many people that day. You were too busy fighting Venom to notice how much collateral damage you were causing in the process. Your mother’s job was to evacuate all the citizens away from the fight. She died shielding a child from incoming debris. A noble way to go. But god was it gruesome. You found her after the fight was over, two metal poles impaling her. One through her stomach and one straight through her face, pools of blood growing bigger below her as she was left there, all the paramedics busy trying to save the heavily injured. You froze when you finally recognized her, unable to at first due to how mutilated her face was from the pole. Suddenly, you were transported back to being a six year old, falling asleep outside the door to your mother’s bedroom so you would know exactly when she would come home. Purposefully falling asleep in her arms so that she couldn’t go anywhere.

When you used the key she had given you to get into her apartment that night, and you slept in her room, desperate to intake anything left of her before she was fully gone. You doused yourself in her perfume so it still felt like she was standing right behind you. You had always loved her smell. The smell of vanilla, curl product, and fancy perfume. They were attached to memories you had of her. Trying on her heels when you were a kid to try and be fancy like her. Smelling her hair in the morning before school to comfort you before she left for work. Despite all of this bringing you comfort, all it really did was cause further denial in your heart. That one day you were gonna hear the keys clacking in the keyhole to your apartment one more time. That’s all you really wanted. You would give everything up in a heartbeat just to hear her police scanner go off one last time. But it wasn’t going to. And it was your fault. Deep down you knew it was. You should’ve done a better job controlling the debris. You had always been a messy fighter, but you didn’t know it was going to mean anything until it was too late. 

How you got up to the top of that building is still a blur to you to this day. But next thing you know, you were looking at the New York City skyline from the very top of the Empire State Building. And at the very edge too. You heard some sounds behind you, but you just decided it was the wind howling from how high up you were. You were just so tired. Everything and everyone you loved was cursed all because of you. And with your mother as the most recent victim, you decided you finally had enough. You took a deep breath, eyes overflowed with water, as you set your foot forward.

Your plummet was interrupted by a sudden contact you felt to your forearm. Shock filled your body as you turned around to look at what had stopped your attempt. The blue hand was massive, nearly wrapping back around onto itself as it held onto you for dear life. You finally looked up at face that the hand belonged to. The mask that covered the massive figure was a strange one. Blue with strange red silhouettes for the eyes. It kind of reminded you of…your own costume? That couldn’t be though there was no way. This must be the afterlife or something. You already jumped and that's why you didn’t remember your way up to the top. This was some kind of creature trying to stop you from jumping down to hell below. His breaths were heavy and loud, almost like he was desperate to stop you. This convinced you that this was real, which caused you to try to escape from his grip. He was stronger than you, and was putting up a huge fight. You were slick though. Once you were out of his hand, you closed your eyes and quickly made your jump. Everything flashed before your eyes. Your brother, Peter, your mom. You were hoping to see them soon. This was very quickly interrupted again when you suddenly stopped falling. Something had attached itself to your stomach. You opened your eyes. A web? This web was much different than yours though. It was glowing a bright, neon orange.

The man was holding onto the end of it tightly with both hands. His mask then disappeared to show his face. His was long, matching how big the rest of his body was, defined cheek bones sticking out. Brown wavy hair slicked back with a few loose strands flying out in the wind. The look of desperation on his face stook out most of all. Why did he care so much? He didn’t know you, and you definitely didn’t know him. “Let me pull you up. Please,” he said to you between shaky pants. You stared at him for a bit before nodding. He slowly pulled you up with the string of his web, each move more careful than the last. As soon as your feet were planted safely back on the roof of the building, he wrapped you up in his massive arms. You appreciated the gesture, but you didn’t return it, still very confused about why he was so concerned. He was so big around your body though, you couldn’t help but feel a little comforted, feeling his still shaky breaths against the hairs of your neck. Soon after, he clicked on some buttons on his neon orange watch and led you into a portal.

The rest is history. You’re grateful he found you that day. It allowed you to meet so many people, Peter B., Jess, Gwen, Hobie, Ben, Pavitr, Margo. They all related to you and you felt like you could share things with them that you couldn’t do with anyone else. You had grown especially close to Peter and Jess, both of them having been in the game for a long time, just like you. They both knew how you felt, having lost so much and growing so tired after so many years. Peter even named you as Mayday’s godmother when she was born, a gesture that caused you to nearly kill him with your hug. Miguel though was different. He wasn’t nearly as social as the rest of your friends, but you found yourself having much more intimate moments with him (in more ways then one). You eventually found out why Miguel was so concerned for you the day you met. He had taken interest in your abilities early into looking for variants for his little “project”, but refrained from roping you into something so dangerous while you were still in your teens.

Once you were old enough though, he started paying more and more attention, hoping to catch you in a fight and recruit you then. But he was always pulled away with more important duties to attend to. That was until he witnessed your canon event. He had seen it happen so many times before through his scanners. It was going to happen. It had to in order for your universe to not collapse in on itself. But for some reason, yours hurt more than the rest to him. Especially how you coped with it. Seeing you wrap yourself up in her blankets and clothes broke his heart. He knew where this would lead to. That’s why he was there that day. To save you. He had to, or he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself. You got your own watch immediately, along with your own room in the Spider Society headquarters. He stayed close with you for the first month of you being a member of the team. When he wasn’t out on missions, he was with you. You didn’t really know what to label you two as, but whatever was going on, you liked it. And he did too.

That is until Miles came into the picture. Once Miles was bit, all hell broke loose for Miguel. He was always in some alternate dimension catching some Spider-Man villain who got out and rangled them back over here, falling back over to you more beat up and bruised than the last time. You couldn’t imagine how much stress he was under, the fate of the entire multiverse up to him. You had some ways of helping him relieve his stress, but you wish you could convince him that he wasn’t alone in this. But nothing ever got through to him. He had become distant, aloof even. You tried bringing it up to Jess every so often, but she would just brush it off.

“That’s how he’s always been.” Not to you he hasn’t. This week has been hell though. With Spot making it over to Miles, Miguel had been going into rages all week. You had put up with it for now, but that was all about to stop. Watching how harsh he was being on Miles, throwing so many Spider-Men at an innocent boy, risking all of their lives in the process. Disregarding everything Gwen and Peter were feeling and then throwing Gwen back into her broken world with nothing. He had gone too far. No one else was going to stand up to him about it, so you knew it had to be you. Maybe he would listen, maybe he wouldn’t. It didn’t really matter. He just needed to hear it.

“It’s not worth it you know.” The voice snapped you out of your thoughts, stopping you in your tracks. “You know how stubborn he gets over these things,” said Jess, trying to convince you to save your breath. “I don’t care. I have to at least try,” you responded, monotonically. “I just don’t understand how you can follow him so blindly and not see what he’s doing is wrong.” “Because he isn’t wrong. I don’t know about you, but I’m not just gonna stand by and let some kid’s stupid decisions destroy another Earth,” Jess argued. “He’s just trying to save his dad, I can’t understand how that makes him such a bad person,” you said, finally turning around to face her, shocked when she was closer to you than expected.

“You know exactly why. Don’t be so naive, y/n,” she shot back. “You can’t stop me,” you said staring straight into her. She shrugged. “Then I can’t help you.” She began to walk away. You did to, until you heard her say. “You don’t know how much he cares for you.” You turned around to face her again, but her back was still to you, her head tilted ever so slightly to look at you. “If you really do care for the kid, watch what you say to Miguel right now. Cause you might just give him the final push he needs to do what needs to be done.” You didn’t give her a response, and just simply kept walking. You felt Jess’ eyes on your back as you entered the elevator to get up to Miguel’s office.

The elevator ride up felt longer than it should’ve, as you tried to gather all of your thoughts and emotions together so even if he didn’t listen, your words would still stick with him in some way. You didn’t necessarily want to hurt him (though your fists were telling you otherwise), but you did want him to be aware of what he’s done. Once the doors finally opened, all of that work flew out the window as rage took over your body again, seeing Miguel up there looking at the scanners. The fact that he looked just as normal as he always does made you furious. It’s like nothing happened.

“You know, I could hear you coming in from the lobby,” he said, almost stopping you in your tracks. You hated when he did that. Claiming that he knew what your every move was going to be. Like you were under his control or something. “Yeah, well then you must’ve heard me talking to Jess, which means you know exactly what this is about,” you shot back, stopping to where you could see him perched up there. “Why don’t you just save me the conversation about morality and just come up here and kick my ass already. It’ll save both of us time,” he said, not even taking his eyes off the scanners to look down at you. This only added to your fury. “That’s not what I’m here for Miguel, so don’t you dare try to twist my words here. What you did to that kid was fucked up and you know it.” “Oh yeah, then why didn’t you try to do anything to stop me?” he questioned.

“Because I’m not stupid Miguel. I’m not gonna try to take down hundreds of Spider-Men at once.” “Oh, cause you’re so much better than that?” This wasn’t like him at all. That gentle, kind, and caring Miguel you once knew was gone, taken over by some sort of personal vendetta he had against Miles. “Listen, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but this all needs to stop before it gets taken too far. You’re getting into a fight you can’t win. That kid’s strong and so are his allies. And if you go any further into this, I won’t be here to help you.” He stayed still and only turned his head to look at you. “And what makes you think that you’re so important to my plan that it’ll fall apart if you leave? Have you really become that pretentious?”

Your body froze. Have I really? No no no, that’s exactly what he wants. If you begin to doubt yourself now, you’ll stay and nothing will change. You knew you were right. He was trying to crumble you down, but you wouldn’t let that happen. “And you really think that one kid is going to ruin something that you’ve been working for for years? How insecure you’ve become.” “You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, turning back away from you. You did the same, wiping off your face in anger. “I hate it when you do tha-,” you said as you turned back around, but were cut off to find Miguel standing there right in front of you. He was close. Too close to your liking, although in any other circumstance you would’ve found this attractive.

He tilted his head up, but his eyes were down staring daggers into yours. You hated how much he tried to make himself seem more superior to you. “You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he repeated, this time slower as if you were a child. “He’s just a kid Miguel,” you said in a low, quiet voice. “An anomaly. And a dangerous one at that.” “God Miguel, all he wants to do is protect his dad, do you know how insane you sound right now?” you said letting out a slight laugh when you finished. You backed away from him a little. “He doesn’t know how much damage he’ll do with this. Saving his father will only prolong the inevitable. His world will be gone within hours if he does this. All I’m trying to do is make him understand,” he tried to explain. “By trying to kill him.” “You always have to exaggerate the situation,” he said palming his face. “But that’s essentially what you’re trying to do isn’t it? Why not snuff out the problem entirely by taking him out!”

He signed and began to walk away while you were talking, bringing up your anger even more. “Yeah, use all the power you’ve accumulated over the years and just take out the small problem! Except this isn’t just a fly on the wall Miguel. This is a child! An innocent boy who didn’t ask for any of this to happen to him, just like how we didn’t. I get it, I’m sorry that this job is stressful, I really am. But that gives you zero right to act the way you are!” You were screaming at him at this point. You didn’t want to. You didn’t want your emotions to get the best of you. But he was being too stubborn. This was the only way you thought you could get to him. You might not have wanted to, but you needed to hurt him now. It was the only way.

“You can’t be so power blind that you refused to accept the fact that there could be a way around Captain Davis’ death. You said we saved Earth’s before, I’m sure we could do it again.” Your anger only kept rising when he kept walking away and didn’t respond. “This is a personal thing isn’t it?” you asked calmly. You knew it was working now when he stopped walking. “Yeah, it it. You won’t let Miles get his happy ending. Because why should he be pardoned of his burden while the rest of us have suffered so much. While you’ve suffered so much.” The answer to your question was confirmed when Miguel stayed silent. “Just because you didn’t get the life you wanted Miguel, doesn’t mean you have the right to stop other people from getting theirs.”

You knew you overstepped the line when Miguel turned around and started walking towards you, fury burning in his crimson eyes. “Yeah, so what! What if that is what this is all about! You should know better than anyone how much this job takes away from you!” he screamed at you, backing you up into a wall. “Why should he get to be let off so easily, while people like you and me have to suffer so much? Don’t try to turn me into the villain here when I know you’re thinking the exact same thing, y/n.” He wasn’t entirely wrong. You had wondered it at some points. “I won’t let you turn this onto me Miguel, this is about you,” you fired back. “Oh no, you’re not getting off that easily. I know you’re thinking it. And you’re right. Why should Miles get let off so easily when you’ve lost so much.” He held your hands in his, trying to connect to you. “And you have mi vida. You’ve had so much taken from you and it’s unfair. Why should he only have lost one person when you’ve had three taken from you. Your brother, Peter, your moth-.”

He was cut off by your hand striking against his face in a harsh blow. “If you’re smart, and I know you are, you’ll keep those three out of them. I won’t let you drag their names through the dirt for something as stupid as this.” You both stood there for a while, both of your eyes looking towards the ground, hoping it would open up to swallow you both as an escape from this god awful conversation. You never wanted it to come to this. In all honesty, you cared for Miguel. You might’ve even loved him, if you were even capable of doing such a thing. You hoped he felt the same way about you, but in a job like this, he always had at least one wall up around you. It just wasn’t worth it anymore. You were too tired to keep trying for something that was most likely going to fall apart in the end. 

“You’re still going after him aren’t you?” you asked, finally breaking the silence. Miguel looked back up at you. “You can’t ask me not to. You know better than anyone why this is so important to me.” He moved his hand up to cup your cheek and kissed your forehead gently. You let it sit there for a minute out of habit before pushing it off your face. “And you must know why I can’t stay anymore then.” His shoulders dropped. “Whatever this thing between us is. It’s over. I can’t stay beside someone who can’t see what he’s doing is wrong.” Miguel’s dropped hand turned into a fist of anger. “Fine,” he spat in your face. “I don’t need someone like you in my way. You’re just a liability to this anyways.” He began to walk away from you back to his scanners. “Just don’t come crying back over to me when your little plan doesn’t work out, cause I won’t help you.” He used his webs to pull himself back up to the platform to keep looking for Miles. You stood there for a second, gathering yourself.

Five years. Out the door just like that. It bewildered you how easily a bond like you two had could be broken all because of one teenager. You began to make your way for the door before you said. “When this is all over…don’t try to find me.” He didn’t respond. Once the elevator doors opened, you rushed inside, desperate to get away from him. So many thoughts rushed through your head as the doors closed and you sunk down back to the lobby to leave. You didn’t have much of a plan. This could end up being a horrible idea. Your gut told you it was the right thing to do though. And that was enough for you. You walked out of the headquarters lobby with a new heart and a new mind, ready to take action for your new plan.

First though, you had to find Gwen.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n: god that took longer than it should've. dw dw i'll do a part 2 if enough people ask for one. im not 100% sure how im gonna do a part 2 cause yk....idk how beyond the spiderverse is gonna go so tbh, we're just gonna make it go the way i want lmao. thanks for reading, ik this was kind of a long one lmao

NEXT CHAPTER

[muwapsturniolo]

𝐃𝐨𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧-𝐁𝐅!𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 ❤︎ 𝐁𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐲!𝐆𝐅

Headcannons

Matt version

Warnings….mainly fluff but drugs are mentioned due to Chris being a dealer in these! Smut is mentioned as well🎀

Doberman-BF!Chris who…is shocked Bunny!GF is even dating him. She’s innocent and well…he’s not. He’s a drug dealer and she’s a smart innocent /shy girl who jumps at loud noises. But he wouldn’t have it any other way. He definitely does his best to change for her, being less aggressive and trying to be calm.

Doberman-BF!Chris who…is always touching you. Shockingly it's not even sexual majority of the time. He just sees you as this little doll that he has to protect/be careful with. He’s always touching your hair, holding your waist, he even wraps his pinky with yours when walking.

Doberman-BF!Chris who…loves Bunny!GF's bows! You have so many (he’s the one buying them) and he’s usually the one telling you which one to wear.

Doberman-BF!Chris who… brings Bunny!GF on deals with him. She’s sitting pretty in the passenger seat eating ice cream, while one of his hands is on her thigh and the other is on the wheel.

Doberman-BF!Chris who…hates it when his customers even look at you, nonetheless try to flirt with you.

“Hey pretty girl, what’s your name?” “None of your fucking business jackass. Stop looking at my girl. Price just went up $50, now pay up or get the fuck out of my site.”

Doberman-BF!Chris who…pays for everything. He’s the one setting up your nail appointments, hair appointments, any type of appointment. He’s always taking you shopping, buying you new clothes, books, trinkets, whatever your heart desires. Sometimes you feel bad but Chris shuts it down.

“Chris you don’t have to pay I can pay myself...” you say softly. Chris definitely looks offended at your words. “Bunny, how many times do I have to tell you, I’m paying. Your job is to sit and look pretty for me.”

Doberman-BF!Chris who… Loves having you read to him after a long day. He trudges into the bedroom and flops onto the bed, crawling in-between your legs so his head rests on your stomach. He loves how soft your voice is, the words flowing softly in the quiet room.

“Bunny…” “I got a new book we can read!”

Doberman-BF!Chris who…Loves the way you look in his clothes. He always makes sure not to let you grab specific clothes that he’s smoked in, never wanting to irritate your nose.

Doberman-BF!Chris who…notices how Bunny!GF has an oral fixation. She’s always putting something in her mouth, so he keeps suckers and her favorite candy on him at all times so she won’t ruin her nails by biting them.

「 ✦ 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐋𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 ✦ 」

Doberman-BF!Chris who … loves how you switch from an innocent and shy girl, to an absolute freak in the bedroom. You’re constantly asking him to go harder and faster, asking him to choke you and maybe slap you a few times.

Doberman-BF!Chris who…loves to play dress up in bed. It’s nothing crazy like nurse or schoolgirl outfits, but he is putting you in the prettiest baby doll lingerie and pairing it with thigh-high socks. He loves the look of innocence on you despite you being just as corrupt as he is.

Doberman-BF!Chris who... doesn’t let you smoke, but lets you sit with him during his smoke sessions. He smokes outside usually in the early morning, hoodie on and sweats connected. You’re usually sitting on his lap in a tank top or hoodie, nothing but your panties on. The two of you watch the sunrise together and as soon as it hits golden hour, Chris is pulling your tank down/your hoodie up, letting your boobs free, and fondling them…sometimes popping one in his mouth.

Continuing from the previous headcannon…Usually, when you’re both outside in the morning, Chris loves to cockwarm. He enjoys having you wrapped around his dick in the early mornings, the way you two are connected intimately without actually having to move. It doesn’t last long though, you begining to whine softly and gently rut against him. That then leads to Chris wrapping a hand in your hair, the other pushing against the nape of your back to push you forward as he fucks into you. Your moans harmonizing with the chirping of the birds.

Doberman-BF!Chris who …is relentless when fucking you. He’s not stopping until you’re sobbing and on the verge of passing out. Although his favorite position is face down ass up, he loves to have you on your back with his hands spreading your legs far apart, pile driving into you.

Doberman-BF!Chris who… loves how your oral fixation plays out in the bedroom. You tend to bite him a lot, your teeth digging into his shoulder as he ruts into you. He likes pain so it doesn’t bother him, if anything it makes him go harder. He also loves how you’re always willing to give him head. Sometimes it's when you two are having sex, but most of the time it’s during mundane activities.

“Chris…” you mumble as you toy with his sweats. “Go ahead bunny,” he says, eyes still trained on the movie playing on the tv. His dick is suddenly in the back of your throat, resting as you continue to watch the movie.

Doberman-BF!Chris who… despite fucking you dumb and into oblivion, gives the best aftercare. He's instantly giving you a small massage to relax your muscles, he’s getting you your cup full of juice before tugging you in the shower. He’s kissing your shoulders as he hugs you gently, washing your body for you. He lays you guys down in bed, opting to read to you for a change. He’s not the best at reading but he still manages to put you to sleep, his stuttering and wrong pronunciation of words sounding heavenly in your ears.

as promised, heres a chris version! i want to do a nick one but I'm running out of ideas so please help your girl out!!!

𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨 𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 🍑: @mattslolita @thenickgirl @guccifrog @luverboychris @zayyluvz @mrsmiagreer @chrisssluttywaist @78yaz @hoesformatt @freshloveforthefit @3lizaluvs @mattsturniolosgirlfriend @jetaimevous @luxy-nyx @ts-is-my-spirt-animal @iihrtsturniol0 @idontexistman @katw4shereee @madisturn @starlace111 @zivall @adoreindie @imwetforyourmom @sturnsxplr-25 @sturncakez @theyluvme-2315 @moonk1ss3d @@babyalliah-777 @sturniololol @oliviasturniolo21 @ariithereyet @blahbel668

[mcuamerica]

Stranded | Part Three

Featuring : Azriel x Fem!Reader, Eris x Reader (platonic), Rhys x Sister!Reader

Summary: Rhys is not happy when he finds out Azriel left you in Autumn. Requested by @sidthedollface2 here.

Warnings: 18+ only, description of ruined wings and skin scarring, canon level violence, mention of SA, not proofread (i'll do it later), let me know if anything was forgotten...

Disclaimer: I do not own SJM’s characters, only the ones I create for the purpose of this story. This is a work of fiction. I do not give permission to repost my work on any other platform or medium. Please be respectful.

Dividers from @saradika

Part One | Part Two

You stood on the side of the room, next to Mor, as Rhys let out all his anger on Azriel. You would’ve let him keep going, but you started to feel a tug in your gut, telling you to stop Rhys.

You looked at Cassian as he eyed you and you gave him a simple nod. “Rhys, stop. Please.” You said, but there was little pleading in your tone.

Cassian put a hand on Rhys shoulder as he pulled back, then stood up. “I will never forgive you for this.” Rhys said and stepped back. You were pretty sure Azriel was unconscious until you watched him sit up, holding his ribs.

“Neither will I.” Azriel said, not even looking up at Rhys as he walked out of the room.

You waited, watching as Cassian helped Azriel up and sit on the couch. “I’ll go get Madja.” Mor said.

Azriel face was completely swollen, his nose was broken, his ribs were probably as well… but you noticed as the small cuts slowly started to heal. “No,” Azriel said. You rolled your eyes, always wanting to suffer, he is.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” You said. “You’re no use if you can barely see or move.” You said and looked over to Mor, nodding your head so she could go get the healer. Quickly, Cassian went after Rhys and Amren disappeared. They must have known that you needed time to discuss by yourself.

“You could’ve fought back.” You said, leaning against the wall still.

“It was no use… I deserve it. I’ve been waiting for it for 50 years.” He said, peering up at you. His shadows circled your ankles, like incessant toddlers.

“Why did you leave me that night?” You asked.

“I-“ he started and then paused. “I didn’t think you wanted me watching over your shoulder the whole night. And Mor really was upset… I knew you could handle yourself if you got in trouble.” He said, then stopped at the words. “Why didn’t you go to the Moonstone Palace?” He asked.

“Because I didn’t want to go to the Night Court if Rhys wasn’t there.” You said. “And even after I thought it would make a difference, I quite liked Autumn.”

“With Eris?” He let out an animalistic, possessive growl.

You furrowed your eyebrows. “When he was there, yes. I enjoyed his company. He kept me safe.” You said, feeling the need to defend the male that had done nothing but be kind to you, shelter you, for the past 50 years.

“He’s a monster. What he did to Mor-“

“Mor hasn’t told the entire story.” You spat.

“He our enemy.” He said.

“Your enemy sheltered me from Amarantha for 50 years. Your enemy stopped me from being raped. Your enemy helped heal me when my wings were just about burned to ashes.” You said, walking closer to him. Azriel stood up as you made your way to him, wincing we he did so.

“He did it for his own gain. He’ll turn on you as soon as he gets the chance.” Azriel said.

You clenched your fists in your hands. “Eris has never turned his back on me. He has never left me. That was you. So tell me why I should trust you anymore than I should trust him?” You asked.

“He’s not your mate!” Azriel said. Your breath hitched, stumbling back away from him.

“I don’t have a mate.” You said, just above a whisper.

“Yes you do. I’m your mate. The bond snapped the night… everything happened.” He said.

You narrowed your eyes, tears forming as you shook your head. “My mate wouldn’t leave me in ‘enemy’ territory.” You said and took another step back when he went to step towards you. “You are not my mate.” You said, holding back a sob as you turned away.

“(Y/N)-“

“I need time, Azriel.” You said, then ran up the stairs towards your bedroom. There was only one place that you could clear your head and your thoughts.

You were going to Autumn.

Eris knew you were at the cabin the second you winnowed into it. He had wards set in place to make sure no one but you and him, and anyone you allowed in, could enter. He got your note, and hoped that you would return soon enough.

Once he got away from his father, he went straight to the cabin.

He was shocked to see you sitting on the couch, wiping away tears.

"What happened?" He asked. You didn't even flinch at his voice. You knew he was there. You hoped he would come so you could confined in him.

"Azriel is my mate." You simply said, sniffing as you wiped the tears that streamed down your cheeks. Ever since he said it, so much more of your life had made sense. Why you were always so drawn to him, more worried about him on missions than your brother or Cassian... Why you would always do anything to keep him from harms way. But did he feel the same about you? He had left you with your enemy, alone, without anyone to defend you. His mate. He left you. How could you ever get over that?

You told Eris what you were thinking, how it all happened. Once he sat down next to you, he rested a hand on your knee. "You don't have to accept it right away. Cauldron, you don't have to accept it at all. But if you want to work on it with him, you can." He said. "And if not, if you can't even stand to be around him, then you come here. And you hide away or act as emissary to the Autumn Court, but you'll be away from him. Whatever you need, (Y/N), I will help you." He said.

Azriel's words gnawed at you. He will turn his back on you the first chance he gets. But in all your years of knowing Eris, he had never once been cruel, or unkind, to you. He had supported you every single time. Unlike Azriel, who left you when you needed him most.

"Can I stay here for a little bit?" You asked timidly. "I'll send a note to Rhys... if you can allow him to cross the borders and just talk with me... I just need to explain." You said.

Eris gave you a gentle smile, one you were sure only you saw. "I'll speak with my father.." He said and stood up. "Do you need anything else?" He asked.

You took a shaky breath and shook your head. "No, I'm just going to stay here for a little while. Clear my head." You said.

With that, Eris left the cabin and you got started on your note to Rhys.

You stayed in Autumn for a year, only visiting Velaris when Rhys asked you to. You were an expert in the knowledge of Prythian's history, a hobby you took up as a young child in Windhaven, and he needed you for the war against Hybern. And he wanted you to meet his mate, Feyre. Eris told you that was the girl who saved everyone. She was once friends with Lucien.

You were there in Hybern when they decided to try and trick him, break in. But then Tamlin and Lucien showed up. With both of Feyre's sisters.

And then Azriel almost died, Hybern holding him hostage as Feyre's sisters were plunged into the Cauldron. You felt every moment, felt every restraint on your body as you tried to get to Azriel. Despite your tenacious relationship with him, he was still your mate. Your first instinct was to protect him and save him at any cost.

You collapsed next to him when his wings were shredded, holding onto him as you all winnowed back without Feyre. You healed his wings as best you could until Madja was there, telling you to stand back. You couldn't leave his side. Not while he was this hurt. Not while he might never fly again. That was already taken away from you. You would not let it happen to your mate.

Your mate. When he was healing was the first time you used it in an enduring way. Not towards him, but to Mor. Who came in and asked how he was doing. "My mate is doing fine." You growled out, obviously agitated that another female was in the room. Nonetheless, one that he had pined over for centuries.

When he was healed, you stayed in Velaris. Opting to help Rhys figure out a way to get Feyre back from Spring safe and sound. Now that she was High Lady, and your sister by law, you had even more to worry about when it came to your family.

And then Azriel started to hang around Elain. Steering her around like a puppy he found on the side of the street. You started to notice similarities to him and Mor, when he would follow her around. Doting on her every need.

Once night, you had enough. You went to Rhys immediately, the jealously in your gut building the rage inside of you.

"I'm going back to Autumn. I can send you encoded notes from there. I'll be closer if anything happened to Feyre and she needs a way out." You declared. Rhys didn't put up a fight, understanding your frustration.

You gave Azriel the courtesy of leaving a note, explaining to him that if he wanted to act like a true mate, he would help you. If he instead wanted to dot on Elain, who was barely more than a shell of a faerie, he wouldn't come to Autumn. He would stay in Velaris and do just that: be Elain's keeper.

So you traveled to Autumn and stayed in your cabin, worry clinging to you more and more as the hours passed by. Why had you given Azriel a choice? Why did you leave without saying anything? Why didn't you talk to him?

The questions consumed you so much you didn't hear the first knock at the door. Or the second. But you heard the third as the familiar male pounded harder and called our your name.

Part Four (Azriel) | Alt Ending (Eris)

A/N: A little cliffhanger... who is going to be on the other side of the door???

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[what-even-is-thiss]

so are you going to vote for biden?

Yes I am because I don’t want to vote for trump. And if you sent me this ask to send me a follow-up ask with something along the lines of “oh so you support genocide then?” No I do not but I do firmly believe that trump would make the situation over in Gaza and Ukraine and China and everywhere else we’ve got our fingers in even worse. He already did that while he was President. He made stable situations go unstable. He made our relationship with several countries go even more sour than they already are. And I’m also not putting up with trump potentially appointing more Supreme Court judges and ruining all of our lives for the next 50 years. I’m voting for the least bad option that has a chance of winning. And if you can’t see why I’m focusing on harm reduction I doubt you’re looking at the whole picture. Besides, Biden has done some good things. That doesn’t cancel out the bad things, but I’d also rather keep his good policies in place for as long as possible. And for the foreseeable future the only way to do that is to keep him in office even if I’d rather have somebody else.

Tbh I’m never gonna 100% like any candidate for President because the sort of people who would willingly take on that much power and make the kinds of tough decisions presidents have to make are not the sort of people I’d actually want to have that job but they’re also the only people that are going to be doing that job so I’ll have to pick the least bad one.

Also, President isn’t the only thing on the ballot in November. I’m not exactly sure where I’ll be living in November because I’m job searching right now but wherever I end up I’ll also be voting with that same mindset for everything else. Pick the least bad option. Because that’s how democracy works. I’m not abstaining from democracy just because my country is doing bad things. My country is always doing bad things. If liberals and progressives only vote when all available options are good then they’ll never vote and conservatives and fascists will run this country and that’s just how it is. I’d rather have a guy that’s not doing the best job on the international relations front than give the nuclear codes back to Don.

[sixosix]

EPISODE ONE.

You’ve watched plenty of romance dramas with your mama. Most of them are set in high school, but you have this gut feeling that you’d meet your soulmate in middle school. The universe is hinting at it: a perfect, sunny day, cherry blossoms floating around, and stray cats greeting you a good morning. It’s setting up the perfect first meeting, and you watched enough shows to know this is how it works. That is until you take a sharp right and almost get run over by a bike.

but you can get me (1) | hinata shoyo

series info | next episode

You grew up with parents who seemed to have never left their honeymoon phase. They’re the type to stare at each other lovingly, to dance in the street even when it’s raining. They twirl in the kitchen, flour all over their shirts, skin to skin, with giggles mixing in with one another. They beckon for you to join, and you end up standing on your father’s shoes, pressed between your parents as they dance to some 50s love song they know by heart. It could be storming outside, but that doesn’t affect their smiles.

At a young, impressionable age, seeing your mother laugh so freely had you wishing: I want that, too.

“But you’re too young for that,” your father chided. “Don’t worry about love when you’re still 7 years old.”

“You just rub it on my face,” you grumbled. “You’re childhood friends! It’s not fair.”

Your mother laughed softly, bending down to wipe off the smeared chocolate on the sides of your mouth. “Sweetheart, your soulmate will find their way to you eventually.”

Father tried to feed you another cookie, but you had your lips pursed in contemplation. Crumbs slid off your jaw. “Soulmate?” you asked. “What’s a soulmate?”

“The person out there that’s made for you. Like me and your papa,” your mother answered, grinning cheekily.

If it’s made for you, it’s taking its damn sweet time. Your scowl deepened. “Where’s mine then?”

“Baby,” your mother laughed along with your father, and you felt bullied, for some reason. “You don’t have to rush. You have plenty of time—there’s no need to be so worried.”

“What if I don’t have a soulmate?”

That time around, it was your father who answered. He watched your mother pull out a tray of cookies from the oven with that look in his eye. It was hard to describe it, but you’ve only seen your father give your mother that same face. It made you want to look away sometimes. “You’re the sweetest angel,” he said, then turned back to you, grinning, “so I know the universe has the perfect soulmate in store for you.”

And now, you’re 12 years old and ready to take on the world to find your soulmate.

You’ve watched plenty of romance dramas with your mama. Most of them are set in high school, but you have this gut feeling that you’d meet your soulmate in middle school. The universe is hinting at it: a perfect, sunny day, cherry blossoms floating around, and stray cats greeting you a good morning. It’s setting up the perfect first meeting, and you watched enough shows to know this is how it works.

That is until you take a sharp right and almost get run over by a bike.

You scream as the other person yelps and nearly falls over his bike, wobbling side to side. You scowl at the redhead fumbling with his dumb bike. Way to ruin the flawless setting with a near-accident.

“Watch it!” you scold.

“Sorry!” the boy squeaks out, then takes off again.

He’s wearing the Yukigaoka Junior High uniform, but he’s biking off in the other direction. What an idiot. You dust off your own uniform and carry on, refusing to let something such as that taint the beautiful memory of your first day. 

This is the same middle school where your mother and father met. It’s only right. You can feel it.

Then, you see him by the school gate, joking around with another boy. Light auburn hair, freckles for days, and brown eyes that can make any hopeless Shoujo main character melt. He’s kicking off his shoes, eyes screwed shut as he laughs. He just might be the one.

“That idiot Shoyo,” the other boy grumbles with a mean expression, shoving his shoes in. “How the hell did you not notice you forgot your bag?”

“He probably just dropped it somewhere nearby,” the boy of your dreams says with a chuckle. Even his voice sounds as soft as his expression. “I told him he should be more careful now that he’s taking a bike to school.”

You feel your heart skip a beat or two, suddenly feeling a little shy. They’re by the entrance, and it doesn’t seem like they’ll be walking off soon. Maybe you can wait for them to finish? Then that’d give you more time to admire him, but it would come off creepy for you to stand with no purpose by the entrance.

“I-Izumin! Koji, I got—” A thud, followed by an aggravated yell, “—Oh, I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I got it!”

Your bliss is rudely interrupted by the same redhead from earlier rushing over, brushing past you to tackle the two boys. Izumin and Koji laugh at the boy, red-faced and spluttering as he pants and sways in place, heaving.

“You found it? That was fast, Hinata.”

Hinata looks seconds away from puking. “I found it in the… the corner, before the turn. My bag.”

He lifts it in victory. His friends clap for him out of pity.

So he’s the idiot they’re talking about. That makes sense. You huff and walk past them. It doesn’t matter if this Hinata is friends with your soulmate: He wouldn’t be able to ruin anything, and you’re determined to prove that.

As you shuffle to remove your shoes, you hear that aggravating squeak. “Hey, you’re the person I almost hit! I’m sorry again!”

You turn to Hinata in surprise, which melts quickly into embarrassment at having Izumin and Koji’s curious attention while Hinata bows about five times.

“Seriously?” the boy with a scowl snickers. “You hit someone?”

Hinata’s face explodes in a blush. “S-Shut up, Koji. I said almost!”

Izumin moves to approach you. You fumble with pushing your shoes inside the shelf, hoping you don’t look as stupid as Hinata’s hair. Izumin reaches out a hand, smiling. “Sorry about Shoyo. Are you hurt anywhere?”

“N-No, I’m fine, really! It’s okay!” you declare pathetically. “A bike can’t take me down.”

Hinata frowns. “It didn’t seem fine when you yelled at me.”

You both ignore him.

In a surge of confidence, you shake his hand and sweetly introduce yourself to the charming boy. “I’m Y/N. You are?”

“Oh.” He laughs bashfully, and you damn near preen at the sound. “Yukitaka Izumi. That’s Hinata, and that’s Sekimukai. We’re best friends.”

“Yo,” Sekimukai Koji says in greeting.

“Sorry,” Hinata Shoyo murmurs.

“Right, right.” You turn back to Izumi. “What class are you in?”

“Class 3—we all are,” Izumi answers happily. “You?”

You cheer in your head. This is fate telling you that you’re on the right path—how unbelievably easy it was. “Me too! What a coincidence!”

“That’s awesome,” Izumi agrees. “We’re gonna be friends, I bet.”

Unfortunately, you have to cut your conversation short. More students filter in, indicating you’re running short on time to get to class. You giggle and kick at the floor as Izumi asks to meet you in the classroom, which really isn’t anything special because you’re in the same class. But your heart is racing, thinking about how you can’t wait to understand the joy your parents feel.

Koji elbows Izumi in the ribs, hard. “That Y/N was definitely into you, lucky bastard.”

Izumi’s head whips around, turning red. “W-What? You think so?”

Hinata picks at his uniform, stained with dirt.

“Izumin!” you call out soon after the bell rings for Lunch break. “Can I join you guys?”

“Izumin?” Koji parrots in surprise.

“Yeah, sure,” Izumi says, because he can’t resist your charm, too, surely. “We don’t mind. Right, guys?”

Koji shrugs. “I don’t really care.”

“Why are you just asking Izumin?” Hinata complains.

You regard Hinata for a moment too long. “I almost got injured because of you.”

Hinata deflates, laughing sheepishly. “Yeah…”

You turn your head away, positively miffed. “I don’t want to talk to you,” because, at the end of the day, you’re just a petty kid making enemies left and right.

“Whatever,” Hinata sticks his tongue out. “Izumin, kick Y/N out.”

And because he’s your soulmate, Izumi tells him no.

“I’m home!” You slide your shoes off, stumbling here and there from excitement. “Mama, I’m home!”

You hear the stove clicking off, accompanied by the soft pitter-patter of your mother’s feet. She peeks from the corner and brightens, helping you with your bag as you kiss both her cheeks.

“Welcome home!” she coos, pinching your cheek hard enough to make you whine. “How was school, honey?”

You hold her wrist, then whisper to her secretly, “Mama, I think I met my soulmate.”

You pat one of the stray cats' heads, feeling pleased when the kitty purrs and rubs its tail on your leg in response. You feel its purr as a tremble on your skin as its whiskers tickle your ankle. This is a good sign. Cherry blossom flowers surround the both of you, warmed by the crisp morning sun. Definitely a good sign.

“Good kitty,” you utter softly. “You’re really cute. You don’t have a collar, huh?”

The cat meows back as if understanding. You reach for the cat’s chin, only for you and the cat to jump back in surprise at a bike skidding to a halt a few inches away. And of course—of course, it’s no one else but the idiot redhead who seems to have a blind spot for what’s ahead of him.

“Hinata!”

Hinata pales. “Y-You’re in the middle of the road!”

You give him your best withering glare. Hinata seems to melt into his bicycle seat. “I am not, and you know it. I was busy with my— oh great, you scared my new friend!”

The cat has disappeared from sight, and who knows how long it’ll be before you find a sweet cat like that? A month, probably. Why does Hinata like to tarnish your perfect morning? Is he the comedic relief of your story? You hope not. You really hope Hinata isn’t a recurring character in your book.

“The cat will come back,” Hinata says, wheeling around you. “And he has a name. Atsushi.”

“Really?” you ask, a little amazed. “How’d you know that?”

“I named him.”

You stand up and start walking to school, ignoring Hinata calling after you. You have no time for his nonsense.

“Hey, we’re not done talking!” Hinata orders angrily, but his voice sounds like a dog’s squeaky toy, so it doesn’t really feel scary at all.

You march on, undeterred by him hovering around you like a damn fly. It doesn’t help that you can’t outrun him because he’s the one with a bike between the two of you.

“Yes we are,” you say. “I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

“You’re so mean to me compared to how you talk to Izumin,” he sniffs.

Isn’t it obvious why? “That’s because I like having Izumi-kun around!”

Hinata drops the bomb. “Well, your favorite Izumin’s sick today. He has a fever.”

“What! Really?” Your plans to woo Izumi today: effectively thwarted. What were the flowers for, if not a love confession? What was the cat for, if not for Izumi to care for the kitten in his home and have an excuse for you to come over? “Oh no. Poor Izumin.”

Hinata emits a noise of disgust. “He’s not a baby.”

“I should buy him food!” What a genius idea.

“You don’t even know where he lives.”

“Yes, but you do.” You jab a finger on Hinata’s chest. Students start to avoid you like a bubble has surrounded you both. “I’m going to buy him food, and I’ll pay you if you take it to him!”

“I’m not a delivery guy!” Hinata growls, catching your wrist to shove it off. What a terrible comedic relief.

A school day without Izumi is a little boring. Koji is funny, but he seems worked up about applying for the soccer club, so you haven’t had much to talk to him about that isn’t related to sports. Hinata needs no explanation. By your side, the girls in your class already whisper among themselves about who the cutest boy in their class is. No doubt, they unanimously agree on Izumi.

Fine. It’s normal for the love interest to be popular and admirable by the school.

Ha! They don’t even know that he’s sick. But you do.

Yet as you list down possible food to buy at your local convenience store, it seems fate has sidetracked. Your homeroom teacher calls for you to ask: “Y/N, can you help me carry these to the faculty room?” Your plans were once again effectively thwarted. It seems today is just not your day.

You’re resigned to your fate the moment you step into the faculty room, so when your teacher sweetly asks for you to arrange them in a particular order, your complaints have died down on your tongue. You work robotically, hoping that no one else has thought of bringing him soup. Who else knows about his home, you wonder?

By the time you’re finished, most students have already left the school. Hinata is also nowhere to be found. Even if you hurry to a store, you’re clueless about where your crush lives.

There goes your chance to impress Izumi…

Surprisingly enough, you meet Izumi again on a terrible day. It’s pouring and gloomy, and there aren’t any cute strays to be found. The flowers can’t possibly work in this weather, either. Why is it raining? Is it someone’s wedding day? Is this the bad omen you were hoping to avoid? How awful.

But then again… You cast your eyes to the sky, eyes fluttering at the droplets winding past your umbrella. This is the same weather your parents say they danced in and decided to marry each other.

“Y/N!”

You recognize that sweet voice. You spin around, water splashing from your boots. “I-Izumi?”

He eventually catches up to you, then pants with his hands on his knees. He doesn’t have an umbrella, and he's soaked all the way. Izumi cracks a grin directed only at you, as if the rain doesn’t matter. It feels as though the sun has risen despite the tip-tip-tip of the rain on your umbrella.

“Thank you for the soup,” he breathes. “I felt bad you had to buy one for me, but it tasted really good, so I’m glad you did!”

“Oh. Um.”

You’re 99% sure that you went straight home after your homeroom teacher finally freed you. Did you magically buy him food even asleep? What kind of soulmate nonsense is that? Lamely, you settle for a: “You’re welcome…!”

Izumi smiles wider, and he looks charming, but you find yourself looking for Hinata instead. You have a strange gut feeling that he’s got something to do with this, but he’s nowhere to be found.

Izumi takes your arm, ducking under your umbrella, and you find yourself distracted once again.

[ series taglist: @lynketa @quikhs @dazqa ]

"“I’m not a delivery guy!” Hinata growls" and then he actually becomes one in brazil... ohhhh hinata shoyo... U silly boy. anyway!! i hope you enjoyed the first chapter of the series tysm for reading !! wow!!!! lmk what you think w/ a comment or a reblog -- it would really mean a lot<3

taglist is open; check out the masterlist to see how it works mwa

[artificial-transmutations]

Idea: My fantasy is to be forcibly transformed from a young, affluent, VERY clean, well-educated, well groomed, well dressed white corporate executive into a VERY dirty uneducated garbageman. I must be forced to surrender my corporate career, my car, my office, my name, my money, my expensive formal business suit and tie, my wristwatch and polished black dress shoes and even my dress socks, along the way to my new real life.

Boardroom to trash bins

You glance at the golden watch on your left wrist and decide to walk a little faster.

You are not late - yet - but the board meeting is too important to be late to. Of course, on the other hand, you can't walk so fast that you would break a sweat. The thought alone of arriving at meeting room with beads of sweat on your forehead or, God forbid, a damp spot on your dress shirt is even worse than coming a minute or two late. That, at least, you can blame on the traffic, which is not even wrong. Your expensive German car has been stuck behind a garbage truck for a good ten minutes. Inacceptable, of course. You would expect the city to schedule such annoying but probably necessary services at night, when there is no traffic that could be slowed down by it.

After all, you have a reputation to uphold! You are Jameson Pierce, son of the millionaire and successful investor James Pierce. You are also the owner and CEO of one of the most prominent investment companies, Pierce&Co.

You have the best business education money can buy and your decisions influence the fate of thousands of employees of yours. You don't arrive late to board meetings like that!

Still, there is no reason to get agitated yet. If the lift is free, you will arrive perfectly on time.

As you quickly make your way over the office parking lot that is being overshadowed by the 50 story skyscraper you own, you almost collide with an old man in a blue uniform, who is blocking the way into the building by picking up refuse from the ground. Apparently, the wind has knocked over the garbage can next to the entrance, and all the contents have scattered on the pavement. The old man is just bending down to pick up the cans and garbage bags and put them back in the bin.

"Out of the way!" you blurt. Usually, you are nicer to your employees by just curtly ignoring them, but this old man is blocking your way and moves slow as a snail.

"Of course, sir, right away!" he says with a toothless smile, and you almost gag. The old man is disgusting! He looks as if he has been sleeping on the street, and the smell of booze emanating from him makes that assumption very likely. You briefly wonder if he even works for you and decide that if so, he needs to be disciplined for his appearance.

However, you are interrupted by his next sentence.

"I just need to pick up all that garbage here. You could help, sir, that would make it quicker."

What? This filthy old drunkard dares to ask you for help? The audacity!

"Out of my way!" you repeat and push the old man aside. You are now standing directly in front of the revolving door, ready to enter your company's building. Behind you, you can hear the old man mumbling something and then start cackling, like a maniac.

You shrug it off. The man is lucky you don't have time for that right now, as you carefully navigate through the scattered items on the ground. You need to be extra careful not to ruin your thousand dollar shoes or dress pants by stepping into something sticky and foul-smelling.

Even if you weren't in a hurry, there's no way Jameson Pierce would bend down to pick up garbage. You are reasonably proud to have never touched anything that has been in a bin - that's what employees are for, not managers like you.

The board meeting continues as bad as the day had started. It is way too warm in the meeting room and you can't prevent a single drop of sweat forming on your forehead. Of course, you wipe it away with your silk handkerchief and hope nobody has noticed, but that's not the only thing going wrong. Twice in your report, you find yourself at a loss of words. Instead of using the correct technical term, you have to verbally set back half a sentence and explain what you mean in simpler words. How very, very embarrassing.

It comes as no surprise that, when the meeting is finally over, you are in a particularly bad mood. Sadly, the old man from before has left, otherwise you would have fired him on the spot as a therapeutic action.

On the way to your car, you call your secretary to cancel all further appointments today, but as you try to ring the number, you just get the message that no connection could be made.

Just great. So, your office phone system has broken down as well. Angrily, you get in your car to drive over to your office yourself.

You don't get very far. Halfway on the way to your office, there is a grinding noise from the engine and then, your car just stops. Right in the middle of the street. You almost can't believe your bad luck. Angrily, you hit the steering wheel, sounding the horn in the process, but it's no use. Trying to ignore the honking from outside and the rude gestures of drivers finding their way around you, you reach into your pocket to call the car dealership. Luckily, you're well covered for such situations.

You stare blankly at the device in your hand. This isn't your cell phone. Instead of the brand new current flagship model with the big Pineapple on the back, you are looking at the cheap plastic of a no-name device with a cracked screen that is probably ten years old.

"What the...?"

You frantically search all of your pockets, but they are all empty.

You can't help but feel as if you have gone insane. No, there has to be a rational explanation. You have probably just pocketed the wrong phone when you were at the board meeting. Of course, there are immediately nagging voices in your mind that remind you that you had tried to call your office just before getting in the car, or that surely nobody at the board meeting would have such a phone, but you decide to tune them out.

Your office is now only two blocks away. There, you have your tablet with all of your contacts. You can call the car dealership to care for the car and then just end this horrible day.

You get out of the car and ignore the shouting from the other drivers. A line of cars has formed behind your expensive Mercedes, but you ignore that as well and begin to walk. Two blocks don’t sound too bad, but it is a hot day, and you feel uncomfortable quickly. You have to loosen your tie because it feels constricting around your neck. That's not the only piece of clothing feeling wrong. Your step feels heavier, and you have to scratch yourself multiple times, trying to readjust the expensive Italian dress shirt, which is suddenly not sitting right.

Finally, you arrive at your office building. You don't even want to look down on yourself. You can feel your shirt clinging to your body and you feel disgusted by your appearance. Good thing this will all be over soon.

As you approach the elevator, you notice that you don't have your wallet at the ready - you must have forgotten it at the car. Ignoring the fact that you just now have realized the lack of its weight and the fact that you never leave your wallet in your car, you go to the reception for an elevator.

The receptionist, a perfectly styled young woman, watches as you approach and smiles.

"Hello Sir, what can I do for you today?"

"An elevator to my office." you say, adding a "Please." although you don't really feel like it.

"I'm sorry, Sir, but what exactly is your office?"

You look at the receptionist dumbfounded.

"My office." You repeat slower now.

"I don't know you sir, you need to be more specific." The young woman smiles.

That's it.

"What do you mean you don't know me?!" You shout. "I own this fucking place. It is me, Jameson Pierce! Now call me an elevator and then pack your things, you are fired!"

The receptionist looks at you as if she was dealing with a madman.

"Sir, you are not in the company register and I'm sorry, but if you don't leave the premises immediately, I'll call security."

"What are you talking about? I have an office on the 50th floor, which is where I need to go!"

"You can't have an office there, sir, that is the executive offices. Now, please leave."

"Listen, girl." you lean closer, invading her space. "Call. Me. An. Elevator. Or else."

The young woman doesn't even flinch. She presses the intercom and speaks with a steady voice: "Security, there is a madman in the lobby. Please come and remove him."

"You little...", you start, but the young woman is done talking to you. Instead, she turns away and starts to file her nails, waiting for security, which arrives some seconds later.

"Good!" You address the bulky Black man in the dark security uniform. "Could you please tell the girl that I have an office on the top floor."

"I don't think so." the man replies, "But I can show you the exit. Follow me, Sir."

"No. I am the CEO. I own the company! My father James Pierce gave it to me!"

The security guard shrugs his shoulders and takes hold of your arm.

"As far as I know, Mr. Pierce has no children. Leave the premises, Sir."

"But... you can't treat me like that! Do you know who I am?"

The Black man doesn't reply, instead, he begins dragging you towards the door. Unsurprisingly, he is much stronger than you, and your expensive shoes drag over the marble tiles.

"You can't do this!" You yell. "I will sue the company! You will all lose your jobs, just watch!"

"Whatever you say, Sir." The man pushes you outside the building. You stumble a little and then turn around, but the door is already closing.

"Fuck you!" You shout after the guard.

You take a deep breath. Whatever is going on here, it's not good. What to do.

After some consideration, you decide to grab your wallet from your car and take a cab home. There, you will deal with all of this.

As you arrive at your car again, you come just in time to see it being towed away. All running behind it and shouting does not help. You almost cry as you see the towing truck disappear around a corner, along with your car, your wallet and everything else you left in there. As you turn around to leave the scene and walk home, the next disaster is already waiting for you. There is a muddy sinkhole in the sidewalk, left over from some construction work and you don't notice it until it's too late. The next moment, you find your right leg standing in stinking mud all up to your knee. You try to free your leg, of course, and it works, sort of. With a smacking noise, the mud swallows your right shoe whole and leaves you with one dirty sock.

This day can't possibly get any worse, you think, but you are wrong.

Half an hour later, you have to admit that you got lost entirely. You are in a part of the city you have not been in before. Usually, you navigate the city with your cars GPS, but that is not available. You try to use the cheap phone to find out where you are (stoically ignoring the fact that it unlocks just fine with your fingerprint) but the only thing you find is that whoever owns the device has not paid for mobile data. You are offline. You could, of course, ask someone, but it takes some courage to ask a stranger where you are, especially in your current state.

Finally, you realize that you have to ask someone if you want to get home anytime soon. Right now, you find yourself in front of a landfill, which is both a blessing and a curse. It smells absolutely disgusting, but at least the people working here should have a good idea on how you can get home.

You enter the building with the grimy walls and look around.

"Hello?", you ask into the empty room. You are just about to leave again, when a burly man comes from the back. He is at least a head taller than you and twice as broad. His clothing is dirty, and you can see tufts of body hair coming out the top of his shirt and his armpits. Absolutely revolting.

The man looks at you for a second before shrugging his shoulder.

"Whatever." he says. "What's your name, kid?"

Needless to say, you are confused. "I am Jameson Pierce. Could you please..."

However, the big man interrupts you again. "Fancy name. I'll call you Jerry, okay? Come with me, I'll show you around."

"Wh-what do you mean?", you stutter but follow the man automatically.

"You're the new hire, aren't you? Gotta say, you're pretty scrawny, Jerry. But the job has no requirements, so if you don't mind getting your hands dirty, you're gonna fit in fine. Here are the lockers. The name's Hank, by the way."

You look around. You are in a room with a dozen dirty lockers. There is a foul stench everywhere and you have to suppress the urge to gag.

"No, I'm not new here. And I don't want to work here, or get my hands dirty!" you protest, but Hank ignores your lamenting.

"It's not gonna be easy finding an overall in your size, but we have a few small ones here as well. By the way, the overalls are shared with the other boys, hope you don't mind. Ah here. Try this one."

Hank throws you an overall. It is, in theory, blue, but both your nose as well as your eyes tell you one thing: It is entirely unwashed. For days, possibly for weeks. The clothing reeks of sweat, dirt, piss and probably even more things that you don't even want to know about.

"What's wrong with you? I am not gonna wear that."

"Well, what did you think when you came here?" Hank is clearly amused. "You can't work in these clothes of yours, even if they are dirty enough. Come on, strip, while I look for boots."

"I won't do that." you say. However, Hank is already gone. You don't think about it too much and begin to take off your expensive clothes. It is almost painful, but for some reason you... have to? It's a difficult to describe feeling. The dirty blue overall is sitting next to you on the locker room bench and is almost inviting you. You can't help it. You just have to strip. Soon, you stand in the dirty locker room clad in only your silk boxer shorts. You didn't notice that every piece of clothing you have taken off somehow changed. Your expensive dress shirt became a cheap t-shirt with stains on it. Your pants turned into a pair of ripped jeans and your golden wrist watch just... vanished.

"If I were you, I would be going commando." Hank, who had returned with a pair of work boots you can smell from over there, comments. "You're going to move around a lot. Besides, all the boys are doing it.

You look at the overall again, almost gagging now. Some other guys have worn it, rubbing their bare asses and dicks into the fabric. And Hank expects you to do the same. Suddenly, you remember the smell. Sweat, piss and other smells. You shudder. You shudder in... anticipation? As you automatically lower your boxer shorts (who turn into plain cotton briefs as you do), you can feel yourself growing hard at the thought of stepping into this dirty overall. At the same time, you are disgusted beyond measure.

Still, it's almost like your arms are on auto-pilot as you step into the overall and pull it up around your naked body, until the disgusting smell envelops you.

"Glad you like it." Hank grins and playfully grabs your very obvious erection through the dirty fabric. "You might want to meet up with some of the boys here in the locker room after shift, I hear some of them need to release some steam after a good shift. Now, come on. Pull the boots and get moving, we don't have time to waste."

You stare blankly at the big man as you realize what he just said.

"Wait." you stutter. "You think... You think I'm..."

"You're gay." Hank interrupts. "No worries. A lot of the boys are."

You can't believe what he's saying. Gay? You?

"But I am not!"

Hank doesn't even seem surprised.

"You might want to tell that to your hard cock. Anyway. Boots."

He tosses the dirty boots in front of you, and you find yourself bending down to pull them up. They are a little bit too large and feel like they are made of rubber, not leather. As soon as you have both of them on, Hank nods approvingly and then grabs you by the arm, pulling you out of the locker room and towards the garbage truck.

The next few hours pass quickly. The other men (it seems the job has exclusively male company) are friendly but don't go easy on the "newcomer". Everybody calls you Jerry and you have to do the most disgusting work you have ever done: Hauling full bins to the truck, sorting through garbage, cleaning up spilled garbage from the streets. Still, nobody is complaining and so you don't, either. After all, there are more pressing concerns: You feel dirty, your whole body is covered in a thick layer of sweat and dust. Your hands are filthy, and so is your face. And the worst part of it all is: A part of you is enjoying it, a lot. At first, the part is strictly physical. You have a boner pretty much the whole time, and whenever you need to do something especially disgusting, it visibly and violently throbs against your work pants - a fact that doesn't escape the rest of the boys.

After a while, though, more changes set in. The full bins appear to become lighter and easier to move. Of course, that isn't the case: Your muscles grow in front of your eyes, and the overall, that was a bit too big, fits better and better. Hair starts to grow on your chest, your legs and arms, and stubble forms in your face. Your carefully maintained hairstyle dissolves into an unkempt mess on your head.

But the changes don't stop there. Overall, you feel like you are getting more and more youthful. You weren't terribly old to begin with, in your mid-thirties, but a strange energy makes you feel more like end-twenties, mid-twenties and finally, like a man who just turned 21.

At the same time, however, your personality changes as well. You start to talk less and less, and when you do, the words aren't quite as sharp as before. Your education slips away with every word you say, and your vocabulary is replaced by slang, often with a bit of swearing. It becomes more and more difficult to think, too. The boys quickly pick up on this and joke around you not being the sharpest. It's not that they're wrong. You're dumb, if you're being honest. School wasn't for you, so you dropped out at some point. Bit by bit, you really become Jerry, the dumb, sweaty, smelly garbageman. And Jerry, unlike Jameson, enjoys the dirt around him. You can hardly remember being a clean and smart businessman, and that's alright with you. Even though your thoughts are slower, however, the memories of your former self are not gone entirely. Every once in a while, you remember who you used to be. But at the latest when the shift ends and you and the rest of the horny boys are going to the locker room, you decide that this is, indeed, a simpler and a better life.

There is literally a metric ton of more pictures here, in my tip jar - variations of Jerry at the end. If you like my writing, consider joining the riot page for a tip (and ocassional additional pictures)

[diorsluv]

casual , part 6

“ someone you couldn’t lose ”

series m. list previous chapter next chapter

( socialmedia!au )

yourusername

liked by rutgermcgroarty, mackie.samo, and 75,188 others

yourusername guess what hoe (affectionate) ruined my day this time 🥰

tagged: rutgermcgroarty

view all comments

rutgermcgroarty i’m your only hoe right 🥺🥺

→ yourusername aw you’re funny sweetie you’re like my fifth hoe

→ rutgermcgroarty but you told me i was the only one for you 😔😔😔😔😔

→ yourusername i lied bbg i got other bitches 🙏

→ vivianliu IT’S ME I’M OTHER BITCHES!!!!

lhughes_06 you weren’t hanging out with him this much when i was still there 🤨🤨

→ yourusername you unnecessarily took up 50% of the time i could have been spending with my lovely best friend

→ lhughes_06 im ur brother.

→ yourusername hes my best friend.

→ rutgermcgroarty YOU ADMITTED IT IM THE LOVELIEST BEST FRIEND yourusername

→ yourusername lovely and loveliest are two very different things rut

username28 ethan’s definitely malding i can hear it already

edwards.73 i asked if you wanted to come over but you didn’t respond

→ yourusername you texted me at midnight

→ edwards.73 yeah

→ mackie.samo eddy you absolute dumbass

→ edwards.73 WHAT DID I DO??

→ rutgermcgroarty do you ever text her before 11 pm 😭😭

→ edwards.73 not really why?

→ markestapa you just answered your own question buddy

_quinnhughes tell me if your little boyfriend isn’t treating you right

→ yourusername not my bf!!!!! remember he doesn’t want labels quinny

→ _quinnhughes that in itself is already bad enough

→ lhughes_06 the only reason i haven’t flown back to beat him up yet is because of the little respect i still have for you yourusername

→ yourusername well aren’t you just an angel 😐

username17 whats stopping rosie x rut from happening???

→ username11 everything

→ username2 everything = ethan

vivianliu i hate how you guys are so sibling coded

→ yourusername awww are you jealous 🥺🥺🥺

→ rutgermcgroarty stop it vivi you’re breaking my heart

→vivianliu hahaha very funny we all know your little crush on her never went away 😐😐

→ rutgermcgroarty DONT EXPOSE ME TO THE PUBLIC LIKE THAT

→ yourusername RUT WE TALKED ABOUT THIS

markestapa i have an inkling you’re doing this on purpose 🤨

→ yourusername you’re tinkling????

→ mackie.samo the hell is an inkling 💀

→ dylanduke25 mark we need to address the tinkle problem

→ markestapa THATS NOT THE POINT OF THIS COMMENT

→ edwards.73 fr that’s what i’m saying

→ _alexturcotte maybe she is doing it on purpose

trevorzegras are you breaking my boy’s heart??

→ yourusername quite the opposite

→ trevorzegras uh huh

→ jackhughes IS THAT A COD REFERENCE yourusername

→ yourusername no jack i’m not quoting ghost 😒

username93 best friend supremacy

username1 this is your and rut’s world, we’re just living in it 🙏

dylanduke25 rosie did you know that jealousy is a real thing

→ yourusername did jealousy accidentally break the shower head again

→ dylanduke25 yes. and jealousy almost burned the building down

→ luca.fantilli jealousy also punched a hole through the front door

→ markestapa and somehow knocked out the entire heating system in the dorms??

→ yourusername oh god

username75 what happened to ethan 😰

colecaufield BREAK IT OFF

→ yourusername my friendship with rut???

→ colecaufield you know what i’m talking about 🙄

→ yourusername idk do i?? 🤔🤔

adamfantilli you stole my boyfriend.

→ yourusername oh did i? oops! 🤭

→ adamfantilli i will drive back there just to fight you

→ yourusername jokes on you cuz rut n i are already heading to springfield for a mini road trip

→ rutgermcgroarty shhhh you weren’t supposed to tell anyone 🙁

username60 oh look it’s my sanity slowly leaving me

username49 am i the only one still supporting rosie x ethan 😟😟

username18 PLEASE i’ve been begging for more content for forever i’m so happy

yourusername

liked by _quinnhughes, luca.fantilli, and 83,826 others

yourusername what are we?

view all comments

vivianliu damn babe when’d you get all philosphical and shit with your little quotes??

→ yourusername when i cried over him for 3 hours straight ‼️

→ rutgermcgroarty i’m sorry you WHAT

→ jackhughes this is unacceptable

_quinnhughes you’re really testing my nerves rosie

→ yourusername how so 🤨

→ _quinnhughes you gotta stop letting him treat you like that kid

→ yourusername i’ll be fine quinn don’t worry about me

username13 SO PRETTYYY

username52 the quotes hit different though

adamfantilli this is literally a direct call out????

→ yourusername it is?? i never woulda guessed 😱

→ adamfantilli yknow maybe you should just end it here

→ yourusername it’s okay i know how to fix things i’m like bob the builder

username67 i’m sensing a cry for help

→ yourusername 🙏

username3 that third quote really hit a lil too close to home

username11 oh babe…

markestapa r u ok

→ yourusername don’t sound like you’re being held at gunpoint 😭

→ markestapa Are you okay?

→ yourusername yes crayola marker i’m just dandy

→ markestapa i’m sorry

→ yourusername for what??

→ markestapa him

mackie.samo he’s just being a pussy rosie don’t worry about it

→ yourusername i’m a chronic worrier 😰😰

��� mackie.samo he’s trying, he promises

→ yourusername wish he could tell me that himself

jackhughes it physically pains me to see you like this

→ yourusername i’m ok!

→ jackhughes you never say “ok” 😭

username25 man this even hurts me

username49 this is why i hate men

→ vivianliu REAL SHIT

rutgermcgroarty this is really affecting you isn’t it..

→ yourusername take a wild gander

→ rutgermcgroarty i’ll take you to the lakes after morning practice tomorrow

→ yourusername you don’t have to

→ rutgermcgroarty best friend duties call 🫡

username74 shitttt this the story of my life

edwards.73 fr

next chapter notes ) so unfortunately i’ve decided that imma make the chapters shorter so it’s easier for me to post and i won’t get burnt out as quickly.. please forgive me!!

tags: @dancerbailey3 @hughesfein @loveforaugust @alwaysclassyeagle @love4ldr @inhoodmood @bunting58 @crazycat-ladys-blog @smoooore @bunbunbl0gs @lilasianmeat

[kaisfruit]

Hiiii loved your first first about kai!

Could I request a one shot or headcanon about each of the ninja and how they would pleasure a fem!reader pls?

How they pleasure you | All ninja x fem!reader headcanons

a/n: omg tysm for my first ask <3 this is like,,one of the few times ive ever written nsfw so!! i hope its okay :3 also im gonna leave out lloyd cuz ik technically he's an adult but idk it's still a bit weird imo warnings: nsfw under the cut (duh),cunnilingus (cole, zane, nya) , slight size kink mention in cole's part, degradation in kai's part, inappropriate usage of elemental ability (jay), umm thats all i can think of im srry if i missed anything ^^

Cole

Ugh idec he's a big guy. is that a collective hc that the whole fandom can agree on? i think so

def uses that size to his advantage when y'all are alone together

I'm talking like MANHANDLING

only if u ask tho cuz cmon we all know he is such a caring guy he would always take your wants and boundaries into account

okay, my horrible down bad size kink out of the way-

mans has a big appetite (wink wink)

goes down on you like no other. like, he treats your pussy like it's breakfast, lunch, dinner, AND DESSERT babes

there would be no breaks with him. i cant say this enough, but he is eating you out like a man starved

overstimulation bound to happen srry i dont make the rules

he would NOT ask for anything in return

this man is the biggest giver when it comes to sex oh my lorddd

you're in charge but like he is if you know what i mean?

like he does what he knows you love, but on his own terms

ur in the bed and he's just instantly pinning you down yk using that strength of his, spreading your legs as far as the can go, and boom diving in head first

srry i could fill up like 3 posts of just cole eating you out im that passionate abt this topic

Kai

Plays with your pleasure like it's a damn toy

This man is the biggest tease ever

Though, his teasing does lean a bit towards minor body worshipping bc he's just everywhere

Marking you up with hickeys wherever he can get his damn mouth

Hands? can barely keep track of their movements. One second they're playing with your tits the next he's two fingers deep in your pussy

Let's just say he's taking his time here just to make the actual sex feel absolutely amazing on your end

But rlly it gets him going seeing you all whiny beneath him at his never ending touches

it's a win-win if you think about it

THAT DAMN MOUTH.

kai is not the guy for u if ur not down for a bit of degradation because DAMN

he has to come second place to jay in the yapping awards bc he's always saying smthn during the act

he pays attention though. listens or feels your reactions to every filthy thing he whispers to you.

absolutely ruins u for anyone else. gl w this man yall <3

Zane

He is so damn PRECISE??

Like, how does he know exactly how to touch you in that spot in order to get that reaction?

LOVES i mean like absolutely LOVES fingering you

being able to watch you come undone on just his fingers? god it is everything to him

will also add his tongue into the mix bc even tho hes a robot he cannot get enough of ur taste

just so calculated w every movement

bro made sex into a science 😭😭

tells you how good you're doing for him, how perfect you look, etc.

loves praising you bc it's the honest truth of how he feels about you

tbh 50% of the pleasure he gives u is from the pure love u can feel with every slight touch, every kiss, everything

soft dom vibes iykwim

REFUSES to even try to get himself off if he hasnt attended to you first

also an extreme giver like

he would get rid of entire body parts if it meant making u feel even better during sex

okay thats hyperbole but like

this nindroid has so much love in his robot heart for u and he needs u to KNOWWWW

Nya

A GIRL'S GIRL U ALREADY KNOW WHAT IT IS

she has all of these boys BEAT when it comes to pleasuring u bc of her same gender advantage

her head will stay in between your legs until you are absolutely SCREAMING her name

that fact fills her with immense amounts of pride btw

i see her as giving u a good mix of gentle and rough touches that like come together to make the most intense feeling ever??? if that makes sense

she's so good w her mouth like,,,everywhere

her favorite place to have her mouth is on ur pussy ofc, but she could also give a vampire a run for their money with how attached to ur neck she is

marks litter your neck

she's so good at finding that one little sweet spot that makes your body squirm

tends to multitask as well

like if she's currently a knuckle deep in your hole then you can also probably find her mouth licking and sucking at one of your nipples

everything she does to you is just so confusing in the best way possible

Jay

everything with him is just so fast-paced

he barely gives you any time to catch your breath in between anything

just one thing after another with jay

it mostly comes from his overzealous nature

your body makes him feel like a kid in a candy store im not even gonna lie. there's so much he could be doing he doesn't even know where to start

constantly talking. what did you expect from the motormouth himself?

half of it's mumbles of how gorgeous or how breathtaking you are and the other half is just downright filthy

honestly that second part would be such a turn on cuz u wouldn't have expected it from jay

the first time he used his element on you it was an accident

he didn't even realized it happened at first. he felt you jolt at the sensation and his first instinct was to apologize instantly, but he never even had a chance as he felt how you clenched down on his fingers and the moan u let out would forever be ingrained in his brain

from that point on, he's constantly looking for the best opportunity to let the smallest current just give a little tingle to your skin

jay really knows how to keep things interesting <3

[coldbronzemoon]

Danny Fenton, Totally Mortal Hero Consultant (DPxDC)

Snippet for an AU I'll probably never fully write where Danny takes a job as a consultant for the Justice League to help with ghost and demon bullshit. It's a pretty good cash flow to help him with college, after all, and very flexible hours.

He just claims all his knowledge comes from his parents. Unfortunately, the JL has caught word of the elusive yet active hero Phantom, and want Danny to help them meet and assess him. Whoops.

Over the phone, Tucker sighed. “Good Christ, Danny, why do you keep doing this?”

“I’m not doing anything,” Danny said immediately. He winced at the vague sound of screaming below. Demons sucked. “I didn’t know the JL thing was gonna have me finding Phantom. How would I? They were talking about tracking down powerful ghosts, I was assuming Ancients!”

Tucker sighed again, which was really quite unfair of him. “Mhm. Well, Fenton Catcher?”

“Probably not. They know me pretty well at this point, and unlike what Sam says I can be professional. I’d confuse them with the… uh…”

“Stoner shtick?”

There was more screaming happening, but judging from the pitch it was a demon screaming this time. Danny checked the situation. Yep, demon getting their ass kicked. He didn’t need to get involved with a blaster. Yet.

Instead, he scowled at his phone. “Stop calling it that.”

“You’re gonna tell me flanny Danny wasn’t a pitch-perfect stoner, huh? With the chill vibing and the dopey look?”

“I hate you.”

“Love you too, bud.” 

The sound of a clacking keyboard that had underlined their conversation stopped. “But seriously, Danny, what the hell are you gonna do with this?”

“Uh, lie, probably,” Danny said, because it was very likely.

“Alright, smartass, what are you going to do when that lie backfires on you like literally every other one does?”

“That’s when I start gaslighting, gatekeeping, and girlbossing, babe.”

He had a hard time hearing Tucker’s distant groan of “Why am I still your friend?” on account of the sudden explosion. Danny checked again. Hm. Demon dude had a nasty fire thing going on.

Danny switched on his Fenton water gun—holy water included!-- and shot the demon in the face. They let out a cracking hiss of rage, but dropped the fire spell thing. He waited for them to stop looking around wildly for the culprit for a moment. 

He went back to the call. “‘Cause you loooove me, Tuck. From the bottom of your twice-dead heart.”

“Unfortunately,” Tucker deadpanned.

Danny just cackled. It was lost amongst the sound of supernatural bullshit below.

“Anyway, I’m still figuring out my plan A, honestly. Might bring in gray-man?”

“Amorpho’s an asshole, though. He’ll ruin the whole thing by taking the opportunity to shift into a JL member for a bit.”

Hm. True.

“Yeah, but he’s the main guy I know with that power set.”

“Ask after Desiree?” He could hear the immediate distaste in Tucker’s voice. “Ugh, pretend I didn’t say that. That’s worse than Amorpho.”

“It’s awful,” Danny agreed easily. 

Desiree was actually pretty alright nowadays, mostly on account of Danny remembering the last couple minutes of Aladdin and wishing she could refuse wishes she didn’t want to grant. That had made her happy enough to stop actively picking fights. 

Unfortunately, spending the entirety of one’s afterlife twisting the wording of wishes to their worst form made it hard to stop being an asshole. Who knew! So getting Desiree to split him in two for like a week had a 50/50 chance of fucking up his work relationship with the literal league of superheroes irrevocably. And this was his main cash flow right now.

So, no Desiree, no siree.

“Come up with something better then, asshole.”

Danny hummed and, since the heroes below were focused on the demon, lifted up a little and did a thoughtful back flip. What to do, what to do…?

Oh!

“My cousin!” he exclaimed.

“What cous—? Oh, Ellie.”

“Yeah, Ellie, Tuck. Which other cousins do I have?”

Tucker scoffed. “You literally have that whole Nightingale thing going on through your dad?”

Danny couldn’t help the face he made. The remaining Nightingales were worse than his parents somehow. “The Nightingales don’t count.”

“You can’t just say they don’t count.”

“I can say that, actually, and I will. They’re, like, cousins through my great-great-great-grandpa anyway.”

“Isn’t there a fight going on over there? Should you be shooting someone?”

 “Yeah, probably.”

He peaked down through the window once more. The heroes must have gotten the first demon to leave while he was talking, because the horned demon fighting them now was a truly unfortunate shade of yellow-green instead of purple. Or maybe it had transformed for some reason? They had it about as in-hand as the other one, though, so Danny definitely didn’t need to go down there. He shot the maybe-new demon in the face real quick.

“Anyway, Ellie can totally help out, she’s been practicing with changing up her looks. She’s also more, uh, malleable than me, what with her situation and all. Looking fully like Phantom shouldn’t be hard.”

Tucker hummed. “She’d try to embarrass you though.”

“Yeah, that’s a problem.” Danny spun in place. “I could bribe her?”

“With what? Her life doesn’t involve needing much cash.”

“She doesn’t get out to the Zone very much. Not many of the inhabited places, anyway. I can promise her the weird apple things Dora’s been growing with Sam’s help, she loved those.”

“If you think that’ll work…” Tucker trailed off dubiously.

Danny laughed. “She’s annoying sometimes, but she’s not gonna fuck over my job if I ask her not to. I’ll just bribe her extra hard for resisting the temptation to mock me.”

“Fair enough.” The clacking of keys resumed. “I’ve really gotta pay attention now, someone’s trying to stop me from getting into this database. Someone half-decent, actually, did they upgrade? Hm. Make sure no one died, yeah?”

“They’re alive. Bye, Tuck,” Danny said, and ended the call.

He shoved his phone back into his jacket pocket and made his way down the stairs. The fight outside he had been stationed for was basically over—Captain Marvel and Green Lantern (Danny was pretty sure he had accidentally learned the dude’s actual name at some point, but hell if he could remember)—had pulled out the magic restraints one of the other consultants had handed out.

That had probably been Constantine. Ugh. Constantine. Dude could stand to lighten up a little; skulking and smoking all the time wasn’t the base state of someone enjoyable to be around. Then again, Danny knew he annoyed the shit out of some of the league with his own attitude, so he maybe shouldn’t talk. But at least he was annoying with a smile!

Case in point: Danny grinned at the heroes. “Got it handled?”

“Suppose so,” said the Green Lantern, “though a little more help would have been nice.”

Captain Marvel was too busy getting in a minor tussle with the demon to say anything either way.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m like, pretty mortal,” Danny said. “I’m not fucking with demons right where they can hit me. And I did shoot him!”

Green Lantern rolled his eyes, but admitted the point. Danny cheerfully flipped him off anyway.

“I’ll be heading out, then, the hellmouth this guy crawled out of is like three miles away.” Captain Marvel said, hauling the handcuffed demon over his shoulders like a very angry backpack.

“Oh, one more for the road!” 

Danny hit the demon with a final water gun shot. Hissing and scrunching their face like a cat, the demon tried to lunge at him. It wasn’t very successful. Weirdly non-verbal for a demon, who usually had to talk to make deals and steal mortal souls, but Danny wouldn’t judge. Might be a minor demon. A really basic imp? Who knew.

“Stop being a little bitch and you won’t get spray-bottled, asshole,” Danny chided.

With a loud laugh, Captain Marvel sped away.

[weebsinstash]

Really like the idea of a yandere Vox who is so ride or die for his overconsumerist capitalist Musk-esque lifestyle UNTIL he sees it negatively affecting his darling and does a complete 180

like take that poly red string soulmate Vox x Reader x Alastor concept and, you've got Alastor KINDA warming up to technology and willing to watch TV and do other things with you but he's still not a fan of you being on your phone constantly and some of the video games and movies you consume. He's on the couch reading a paper and (affectionately) rolling his eyes as you and Vox take turns headshotting each other in a video game and hollering "hell yeah, suck my fucking dick!!"

Meanwhile Vox is just 200% chronically online and loving it until one day he asks you why you wear baggy clothes all the time and you're ever so casually replying "because my body is fucking icky, duh" and Vox has absolutely no idea what you're talking about until you break down on a tangent about it

I was watching a clip the other day where someone was pointing out that Marilyn Monroe was considered the 50s icon of beauty and there are plenty of photos with her with thick thighs or a visible belly pooch and, imagine Vox sitting there, the disbelieving 'are you joking?' smile falling off of his face as you just, go OFF, "why would I wear anything other than sweatpants? I have fucking CELLULITE VOX, I'll NEVER have leggings legs no matter how thin I am, and look at my hip dips, they're so fucking GROSS, and my butt isn't shaped right, I have banana rolls, and, do I have siren eyes or doe eyes?! Am I bunny cute or am I frog cute?! And look at how bad my facial balancing is! Ugh, where's my gua sha?! I'm so tired of being UGLY!!"

Later that week Alastor is looking up from his paper to see Vox just, slowly entering the room, sloooooowly shutting the door behind him, looking to his old friend, "so hey! Funny idea, stop me if you've heard this one before but, I was thinking we could uh, maybe take their phone away annnnnnnnnnd... not give it back?" and here's Alastor, "oh, funny story! So earlier today they asked me if I 'wouldn't like them anymore' if they got COSMETIC SURGERY, yeah, ON THEIR FACE BELIEVE IT OR NOT, so, naturally, I'm already one step ahead of you :)" as he just casually gestures to the smashed wifi router in the garbage can in the corner of the room

You just get home from work one day and Vox has his CRT head back on and you're told 'if you want to look something up online, you can use the desktop in the computer room, and only 3 hours of screen time' and it all but blasts you 15 years into the past 💀 no more nights where you're gaming for 5+ hours straight and ruining your sleep. No more skipping meals because you're hyperfocused and binge-watching an anime while also playing an idle game on your phone. No more Alastor and Vox finding out you're just smoking bowls for hours literally nonstop because you need some sort of extra stimulation while you doomscroll and watch 3 hour long roast reviews for shows you've never watched

Alastor catches you swiping through an app and you get a divisive video thrown in your face from some alpha dude bro podcast, "yeah, a real man knows how to protect his lady! She should be at home cooking and keeping the house clean, not running around like a tramp and doing dumb chick stuff! All women need to focus on is marriage and being good wives, you know, a TRADITIONAL relationship!" and Alastor is just, swiping that shit out of your hand, "he DOES have a bit of a point, repulsive as he is! I suppose I'll have to start looking at potential dwellings that can fit you, me, and, I SUPPOSE Vox too 🙄" and little do you know he's already got a cute little home in the 'burbs set up already. He's just... you know! Waiting for the right moment to let you and the annoying TV bastard know that you'll be moving! Maybe he'll just... wait until the day of! Nothing beats a fun surprise, right? ^^ he doesn't want either of you... trying to run away or anything after all haha!