#also a child deserves a parent that will kill to protect or avenge them

[spite-and-waffles]

I get so infuriated when people reduce Jason's ultimatum to "trying to force Bruce to kill someone to prove his love". The dishonesty of it. Remove all context from the situation and make it sound like an insane inhumane choice. I can do that too actually. Batman is a rich kid who whales on poor and mentally ill people instead of going to therapy. He colludes with cops to bypass due process and collect evidence illegally. He creates child soldiers and makes them into canon fodder for his obsession. It sounds pretty indefensible when you remove every single context and convention that makes a story work doesn't it? Almost like you're only willing to extend the in-universe rules to the rich white manbaby and not the child whose death he was responsible for, huh?

Also? Moral absolutism is harmful and egoistic. You shouldn't kill people, not even criminals, of course not. But that doesn't mean refusing to kill in any situation whatsoever is the moral choice. There's a difference between killing to protect and killing to avenge. Between killing an active threat who will definitely escape and slaughter a family and killing one who is safely contained. Any rule that's taken purely prescriptively and without regard to the individual context of the choice is simply dogma. Especially if the role you have voluntarily taken on requires the willingness to do whatever it takes to do your fucking job. That's why morality isn't fucking black and white.

That's the crux of it for me; why I take this defense of Batman's choices so personally. I don't trust people who see the world in such a black and white way (this includes Jason, who is exactly as myopic as Bruce, but happens to be right about the Joker imo. Fortunately he's a fictional character and also a kid who has not yet had the opportunity to grow, unlike Bruce). I don't trust people who think morality is about a set of correct judgements rather than the process by which you arrive at said judgements. I don't trust people who won't fucking choose. Inaction is complicity, bitch. The consequences of your choices exist and fall on other people regardless of your refusal to take responsibility for them. Bottomline – if your version of "mercy" results in the death and suffering of other people, maybe consider that you're the villain of the story.

[welldonekhushi]

Call of Duty OC: Katya Kovalevskaya 🌹

An updated bio sheet of Katya! The last one felt like it was straight Wiki format style, but doesn't really explain her character properly, I also added some changes to her character as well so, here you go! <3

GENERAL:

Name: Katya

Full name: Yekaterina Viktornovna Kovalevskaya

Codename: "Katyusha"

Alias(es): Lady of Death (by the Red Army), Mama Katya (by her soldiers), Der Russische Leutnant (by the Germans)

Age: 32 years old (Call of Duty: World at War), 58 years old (Call of Duty: Black Ops), 70 years old (Black Ops: Cold War)

Gender: Female

Nationality: Russian

Languages spoken: Russian, German (for intelligence purposes), English

Date of birth: June 15, 1916

Place of Birth: Ural Mountains, Imperial Russia

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Martial Status: Single

Occupation: Senior Lieutenant and Sniper of the Red Army (retires after the events of the first Black Ops)

Status: Active

Rank: Senior Lieutenant (1942), Lieutenant Colonel (1945)

Affiliation: Red Army, CIA (briefly)

Universe: Call of Duty: World at War, Call of Duty: Black Ops, Black Ops: Cold War (alternative AU)

Faceclaim: Anna Chipovskaya

Song: "Katyusha" by Boris Alexandrov

Biography: Yekaterina, commonly known as Katya joins the Red Army for the service of the Soviet Union to avenge her parents death under the hands of German forces. While defending her country amidst the raging Second World War, she faces tremendous amounts of obstacles and barriers in her life which often try to make them as her weakness, but the woman was sworn to take her last breath in achieving one goal with her comrades — and that was liberating Berlin.

AFFILIATIONS:

3rd Shock Army (Red Army)

Sergeant Viktor Reznov [K.I.A]

Private Dimitri Petrenko [K.I.A]

Private Chernov [K.I.A]

Commissar Markhov [fate unknown]

Major General Nikita Dragovich [K.I.A]

Colonel Lev Kravchenko [fate unknown]

CIA (Call of Duty: Black Ops)

Alex Mason

Frank Woods

Jason Hudson

Grigori Weaver

SKILLS AND ABILITIES:

Weapon induced: Scoped Mosin-Nagant, Tokarev (TT-33), PPSh-41, Molotov Cocktail, RGD-33

Fighting style: Hand-to-hand combat, but rarely, since she's more used to being a sniper giving covering fire

Special skills: Is a very experienced sniper, that gave her the infamous name of "Lady of Death", but Katya didn't want to coin such a name for herself when she was only serving her people as a soldier of the frontlines.

Talents: Knows natural remedies, holds a lot of empathy for others, can speak fluent German even if she knows a little bit of it

Shortcomings: Due to the incident, she lost her face partially along with the half-vision of her eye throughout the accident, faces survivors guilt, is a bit mentally depressed but she's able to push those negative thoughts down

PERSONALITY:

Myers-Briggs Type: ISFJ (The Defender)

Is very protective towards her comrades: Ever since she lost her parents, Katya had always been searching for a way to cope up with her loss by taking care of the people she loves and believes in the most. Even if she never married, or birthed a child, she automatically unlocked her motherly instincts by calling her comrades as her "sons and daughters", considering them as her one, found family.

Ruthless, but at times merciful: Katya has shown immense strength and courage in the battlefield as a sniper and a squad leader, haunting the Germans in their own sleep thinking Katya wouldn't kill them and make the mattress they're sleeping on as their deathbed. But also, when Katya wants to show mercy, she'll show it. She thinks there's no use to wasting her own bullets on someone who already decided to surrender to the Red Army.

Emotional: Let it be a soldier dying, or a civilian, she'll ask forgiveness from God that she wasn't able to save an innocent despite having the duty to protect her own people. The incident that killed all of her soldiers left her deeply scarred, and believed she committed a bigger sin for being too naive and careless, and she deserved the impact on her face. It was even worse when Nikita Dragovich killed her teammates again by putting them as test subjects for the Nova 6 experiment that made her grow deranged and bloodthirsty to hunt Dragovich and his lapdog, Kravchenko in a fit of vengeance, until the CIA caught her presence.

Intelligent and observant: Katya is more aware of her surroundings ever since the incident impacted her, which caused her to be very vigilant, and grew her intelligence in the battlefield which made her useful for the Red Army as a sniper and as a squad leader in the infantry.

BACKGROUND STORY

Katya was born around 1916 with her mother Elizaveta Kovalevskaya (neé Petrova) and father, Viktor Kovalevsky. Spending her childhood in the Ural Mountains, she learnt how to snipe at a young age from her father, who was a hunter, the reason why she took her father's skill in the field of sniping.

In 1939, she recruited herself in the Red Army as a sniper, in which her talent gave a huge role and reputation among the soldiers as a source of bravery, courage and inspiration, that gave her the name "Lady of Death". But, Katya on the other hand didn't want to coin such a name for herself when she believes she's only doing it for the protection of her own people.

But, in 1941, when Germany attacked Soviet Russia under "Operation Barbarossa", her village became a victim of the attacks, which ended up killing her family in the process. Broken and enraged, Katya wanted to avenge her parents death by going through missions and eliminating every single enemy who tried to cross the Soviet borders. Her life completely changed when one day she encountered General Heinrich Amsel, who was responsible for the death of her family along with many others, wanted to kill him by her own hands but never succeeded because he evaded before she could get to him.

Furious, the General wanted to eliminate Katya in her path, by luring her into a trap that he was staying at a hotel and could grab her an opportunity to end his life there. But little to her knowledge, it was all a set up, when he used that entire building as a decoy with the explosives attached. His soldiers locked away his teammates, including Katya but she was able to break through it. In a desperate attempt to find her comrades who were still locked inside, it was too late before the explosion could take effect, and blew her out of the building, leaving her drastically injured.

The explosion was the turning point of her life, where it emotionally scarred her and made her regret being a soldier, when she couldn't even protect her own soldiers, who basked into the flames of Amsel's planned explosion. She was taken for medical assistance, which took her a month to recover physically, and mentally. But, that didn't stop Katya from retiring, as her mind still revolved around that one goal — to eliminate General Amsel, and push all the German forces back from invading Russia.

Somewhere around 1942, she was promoted to Senior Lieutenant, and became the squad leader for the 3rd Shock Army, and participated in the Battle of Stalingrad alongside Pvt. Dimitri Petrenko and Sgt. Viktor Reznov. As the General's whereabouts were found, she led her team throughout the warzone and successfully countered Amsel, which led to his untimely death under the hands of Dimitri's sniper rifle. Katya, who held immense pride for the Private for doing something she couldn't, made him along with Reznov and Chernov as her closest comrades.

After the entire battle, in 1945, they finally achieved victory by liberating Berlin by hoisting the Soviet flag on the Reichstag, Katya was now at peace, hoping for a better future after the war's end.

But, somehow.. her life was going to go into a bigger turmoil, when she gets sent to the mission around the Arctic Circle, leading the events of the first Black Ops.

[buildabettermeme]

Why is no one talking about the riots and protests over the murder of 17-year-old Nahel by police in France?

This boy was only 17 years old, shot in the chest in the driver's seat by cops. People seem to think there isn't racism in France but there is. We all need to be talking about this. Nahel should not be forgotten.

The French government is attacking their own citizens with 40,000 police officers (yes, 40k cops) to quell the unrest. 5,000 cops are being sent to Paris alone.

The French government needs to realize that there wouldn't be riots if you didn't allow cops to and protect cops who kill unarmed, non-threatening, peaceful civilians, ESPECIALLY CHILDREN. French citizens won't let their government get away with this. Neither should the rest of the world.

If we all join forces to condemn this horrible tragedy, all across the world, maybe less young POC people will be murdered in cold blood by police officers. Maybe the French government WON'T sanction murder of their citizens for exercising the basic human right of free speech and protest. Maybe, one day, cops will have stricter standards and punishments. Maybe, in the future, there won't be cops at all, and no one would die by their hand. But we HAVE to work together to ever see that happen.

Blow it up. Blaze it if you want to. Find every post about this murder that you can and FORCE the media to notice.

Nahel's mother is organizing the protesting and has been photographed speaking and acting out for her son. We should also support her, because not enough parents would do this for their murdered child/ren. I know mine wouldn't. But she is, and she deserves to be recognized and supported.

Don't let children be murdered in vain, without notice, without awareness, without action. If we will not avenge our next generation, they won't be here to avenge anyone else. Don't let them die, especially not like this.

I don't know how to start a GoFundMe but if anyone did and wanted to, this would be a great place and cause for funds to go to.

Make the French government quake in their boots. Make them terrified of their own people. Make the government pale at the reality that is facing them; they will lose everything, all of their power, all of their money, if they do not get their shit together and protect their goddamn people.

This CNN article is horrifically boot-licking, however it is the most comprehensive reporting I have found in English, and my French is unfortunately nonexistent.

Don't buy into the copaganda. These fuckers are murderers, plain, cold, and simple.

Fuck the French police.

Fuck ALL police.

(Disclaimer: I am horrible at tags, I'm learning I swear)

[demonsfate]

anonymous sent . . . I remember one of the girls I used to be friends with in high school kept mercilessly hating on Jin Kazama and she always called him "selfish", "war criminal", and "autistic n*zi". She was an insane Ragna the Bloodedge and Sasuke Uchiha fangirl who got pissy that someone on twitter/reddit/youtube dare compare two characters she loves to a character she hates. She one day went on a tangent saying something like "Sasuke Uchiha deserves better than being compared to Jin!!! Sasuke risked his life to save Naruto's ass in the Land of Waves arc, Sasuke only killed like what 3 people (danzo, orochimaru and deidara are bad ppl anyways), and Sasuke loves his beloved Uchiha family and wants to avenge them. Jin is a selfish sociopath who wants to kill his entire bloodline because of 2 people and he showed no remorse for killing Jinpachi and millions of people!!! Jin doesn't give a shit about Hwoarang, he would let Hwoarang die like how he left Hwoarang to rot after Hwoarang risked his life to save him in Tekken 7!! Jin never suffered in life as much as Sasuke, Jin got to live a normal childhood with his mom for 15 years, got to live in some fancy rich ass mansion with his grandpa, and his mom was actually alive all along and came back anyways!! Sasuke was a child abuse victim who was tortured by his older brother when he was only 7 years old, lived life alone in an abandoned home where his parents died, and Sasuke's dead Uchiha clan never got revived they're still dead. Ragna erased himself from existence to protect those he loves and give humanity a good future!!! Ragna should not compared to Jin either!!". She fucking drew poorly drawn fanart of Sasuke decapitating Jin Mortal Kombat fatality style, and then making out with Kazuya in front of Jin's corpse. Don't worry, I'm no longer friends with her. Sadly this girl and other ppl hating on him saying "haha emo edgelored"/"war" jokes for the billionth time gave me very negative first impressions of Jin back then. Now after I finally started getting into Tekken playing Tekken 8 and the older games like Tekken 2, 3, 4, and 5 and learning that it's Harada's fault for fucking up his character in Tekken 6 to prop up Lars and Jin was OOC in that game compared to his character depiction in previous games - he's now my second favorite character in Tekken behind Lili. It pisses me off too, he's not selfish because he saved Hwoarang in Tekken 4 and he is shown to be supportive of people (supportive of Xiaoyu in her Tekken 4 ending, and he's also supportive of Phoenix Wright in Project X Zone 2).

Honestly hearing stories like this makes me glad I was homeschooled lol. Like OKAY I def knew ppl like this as a teenager, but only online, through the interwebs!! I've been blessed to have never known other teens like this irl LOL. And honestly, maybe it's just me but... I never get viciously hating FICTIONAL CHARACTERS to the point of drawing hate art of it or whatnot. Or to those nasty rpers who will actually follow the character they hate, just to have their muse be cruel to that character or even kill 'em or whatever. It's just... I can't imagine doing it! I don't think I have any characters in mind that I legit hate. Not even the bad ones that I don't like. I just don't like them and that's it lol. And I know these were high schoolers, but like... I don't even remember being like that during my teen years either. I might've been a lil like that as a kid as I was more annoying as a child (we all were lol) but... I still don't really remember haha.

Also Jin didn't want to kill his ENTIRE bloodline lol. Like iirc, even in 6, I don't think he's ever tried to seriously kill Lars? (Could be wrong about that I legit don't remember lol lol) Like Jin wanted to kill Heihachi and Kazuya because at the time, he legit thought they were the ONLY ones of the bloodline (along with himself) and well... they were time proven to be EVIL, therefore... yes, Jin was right, his entire bloodline (except for himself) was evil at the time lol. That was before Jinpachi and Lars were properly introduced in the series.

AND LIKE. LIKE. Some ppl do talk about how it's weird that Jin never showed remorse for killing Jinpachi but LIKE. I am pretty sure it's CANON that JINPACHI IS GRATEFUL TO JIN. Much like how Jin wanted to kill himself in TK4 to stop his Devil from taking over, Jinpachi wanted to be killed to stop the monster / demon possessing him from destroying the world. Like canonically, it was something both Jin and Jinpachi knew had to happen.

I get tired of those acting like Jin never "suffered." It's like yeah, Jin DID have a good childhood up until he was 15 years old. Jin still spend most of his teen years being abused by an old wrinkly fuck, only to be killed by said old wrinkly fuck. Of course, the stupid game's writing did ruin a lot of Jin's suffering. (His mother isn't actually dead, so like... yeah. But I guess he still grieved her and she's been missing for years. His devil isn't actually bad so he was rejecting something that was actually beneficial LOL LOL LOL) But... that's just Tek writing for you. If we forget a lot of the stupid retcons, we can say Jin had a good amount of suffering. HELL, he was created TO BE a tragic hero.

I'm not gonna go on to explain, but I have stated on this blog many reasons why the "Jin is selfish / doesn't care about anyone" has always been a misconception, even prior to Tekken 8 where he gets a lotta friend buddies. But I am glad he's one of your favorites lol. Really, I feel like MORE people would love Jin if they actually looked at him with critical thinking, rather than just... accept the rancid writing of Tek6 and be like "yup, he's a bad character!" Like Jin's a REALLY damn good character prior to Tek6. And when ppl actually look back on those games, play his stories, really pay attention to his character, they would know that.

[phoenixradiant]

Cabbage and Lettuce for the ask game

"Ask and ye shall receive!"

CABBAGE - Do they deserve their fate? & LETTUCE - Do they deserve their past?

I'm gonna handle these in reverse order because it makes chronological sense to do so, and I'm just gonna use the protagonists since no one was specified.

Cellic:

Lettuce: Not a chance. Man had the perfect life growing up until he was about 10. Then in a single day he became a cripple and lost his father and baby sister. Around the time he'd finally accepted that he'd have to live without them, his mother died to the plague. Then his surrogate parents (who are Maiph's actual parents) die in a magical accident trying to cure the plague. Then his friend and older-brother figure gets gutted in front of him, so that when he finally gets healed all he feels is guilt for being so helpless so long. He becomes a soldier to protect others, but the stuff that happens to him there is almost as bad. The fact that this guy hasn't cracked by the time the plot starts is miraculous.

Cabbage: Yep. He deserves every bit of it. The story may be rough, but afterwards, he gets married, has like 6 kids, spends the next hundred years farming, and then when his wife dies (they were both magical enough to slow aging a lot) he wanders off into the mountains, becoming a legend.

Narra:

Lettuce: Also no. Cellic probably lost more than she did, but he had more to lose. The first twelve years of her life sucked, like, perpetually on the edge of starvation sucked. No big events to speak of, just constant suck. She gets found by one of her grandfather's knights and made a princess, and all she wants to do is help unfortunates like her, and it keeps not working. It's not her fault, but she almost loses hope.

Cabbage: (Very Spoilery) No. Plot happens and she dies not once, but twice. There are three characters in the book who cheat death, and all three of them are dead-for-realsies by the end, but Narra definitely deserved it the least. She had the optimism and moral purity of a literal child, and even after dying once tried to reconcile mercy and love with the reality of the battle she has to fight. The second time she didn't die quickly, either, but at least that time she was surrounded by friends.

Kar:

Lettuce: Maybe. Magrom always was brutal, tricksy, and possessed by a wicked sense of humor, but like with the other two, he was just a kid. Then half his family is assassinated in a night, and from then on, he decided he was going to earn his suffering. He started lying, stealing, and killing almost overnight (he wasn't even a teenager before he made his first body). The only vestiges of a personal code he has left are "Never betray your family" and "Never be ashamed of who you have become." Chronologically speaking, Magrom Karven didn't deserve what he got, but the sum total of his actions vs. his fortunes until the beginning of the story? He 100% deserves it.

Cabbage: Another maybe. Kar goes through a pretty drastic change kicked off by a quest for revenge, where he has to confront the fact that deep down, he'd be willing to die to avenge his brother and protect his niece. He has to face the purely selfish version of himself that he's constructed and admit that he's been lying to himself, ashamed of himself. Once he's accepted that, he can finish the plot, but he could've done that as his vindictive, power-hungry self too. He ends up as High King of Alador, but most of the redemption and reconciliation he does occurs after the plot ends, and isn't actually shown in the book. As a person, he's definitely changed enough to warrant some good fortune, but he hasn't proven it to the world yet.

Zix, this was long! Well, thanks for the ask, hope you enjoyed reading!

[zanyana626]

Sorry, I'm late but here are my thoughts on Watching And Dreaming!

I'm still so shook, like it just hit me that we're never gonna see these magical weirdos again. But no worries, the love for them will still live on here! Again, there's spoilers down here, so beware!

Ofc Belos came up w/the nightmare idea to fuck with Luz, Eda, & King

Glad Luz was able to put two & two together and get the Hexsquad (for the time being), Eda, & King to snap out of it

COLLECTOR YOU SWEET BBY BOI!!! He just wants a friend who gets them; I'm glad that the 3 weirdos got through to them eventually!

Raine being a total badass fighting back Belos with their bard magic! Really wish we got more info on Bard magic, especially since my TOH OC focuses on that brand of magic! 🎻

Also, Collector sweetie, no. Belos doesn't deserve your (or anyone else's) forgiveness!

They're obviously not gonna kill of my girl Luz, I knew that! Feral mode Eda AND King going to avenge her regardless!

The Collector crying and confused over the concept of death, loss & true sadness!!! 😭😭😭

So the Puppet Amity screenshot leak was real!

Luz meeting The Titan in limbo! Love his drip (I want those glyph sweatpants now!)

HE'S BEEN ABLE TO WATCH OVER HIS BOI KING THE WHOLE TIME!!!! 😭

TITAN!LUZ?!?!?! Well, I know now who I'm gonna be for Halloween this year (or for a future cosplay idea). I wish she got to keep that form; mostly cuz I wanted Amity to react to that form! 😍😍😍

The Collector helping the reawakened Hexsquad & Camila to protect the puppeted citizens in The Archives

"EAT THIS SUCKA!!!" My best Jontron impression: "She's in boys, she did it, she said it! *Cue the airhorns*"

Belos using a lame ass excuse of "being cursed with dark magic like your mentor". Bye Felicia, hope you're melting burning in Hell! 😒🖕🏼

"I loaf you!" bread pun from a parent to their son, MY HEART!!! 🥲

Hexsquad & their families reunion

DADRIUS!!! And Hunter showing off his wolf shirt, my child <3

Hooty's sparkly eyed reawakening (wish we got at least one more witty remark from him)

The Collector should've stayed with the gang, especially after what he said about their past w/the other Collectors! I knew King would give him Francois as a parting gift/symbol of their friendship.

The glyphs don't work w/Luz anymore??? I know she still has String Bean, but just how else can she do magic? I guess we'll never know!

Cue the timeskip:

Of course, Luz graduated & is going to a magic university

Vee's new look, super cute as always

HARPY LILITH!!! Wish we got more time w/the look, but oh well! 😍

Bump definitely deserves a break after everything that went down. Eda's definitely a worthy successor as headmaster (love her pirate-like drip)!

Palisman carving Hunter! New blue jay pal Waffles; was hoping for a wolf palisman, but of course, too predictable. Besides, I love me some birdies!

Flyer derby champ Willow, slay queen! 🐝

Amity, Gus, & Raine's new looks are also adorable!

Also, did we ever get a confirmation on the name of Raine's palisman??? I feel like they're a Chauncey to me!

Smol Aladarius moment!

RIP Flapjack, you tiny but mighty hero! I also want that birdie tattoo on my wrist (maybe for my birthday, I'll see) 🐦

Luz having a surprise 18th birthday/belated King-Ceañera w/everyone in the Boiling Isles! Just like we wanted!!! 👏🏼

One last "BAIIIII!!!!" from everyone! 👋🏼

And that's the end, it's been real! Thanks again to @danaterrace and to all the cast & crew members behind the show.

[jackiewepps]

Anime Talk - Something Different

I don't know if I'll post this or not, I'm only writing it to get my thoughts and feelings in order because after watching the last episode of My Home Hero, both my thoughts and my feelings are all over the place.

I issue a spoiler warning as I will be talking about the whole series. Please only read if you have watched the whole thing or don't plan on ever watching it, or if you just don't care about spoilers.

For this whole season, My Home Hero has just hit me so many times, and it certainly hasn't been kind about it. For one thing, I was definitely not ready for the father to murder his daughter's abusive boyfriend in the first episode. What the boyfriend, Nobuto's gang exposed the father, Tetsuo and the mother, Kasen for afterwards... well, I wasn't entirely ready for that either, and certainly not the video that Tetsuo was forced to make after that. I was ready for a lot of things, but not for... the majority of what they showed in the anime.

In short, I think when I first started watching the series, I was expecting mystery. But what I got was thriller, and an emotional one at that.

Why was I hit so hard emotionally by it all? Well, that is easy. The main characters, Tetsuo, Kasen and Reika (the daughter) are the three members of a loving family. I assume I'm not the only one who is lucky enough to be a member of such a family. I never want to see my parents do what Reika's parents did. The only thing I have seen my dad murdering for hurting his child was a table bench set for children that left a splinter in my sister's butt and made her cry (she was still very small then). Anyway, while the parents are nothing like mine in personality, the bond they share is similar.

I also had a lot of mixed feelings about who to support. I wanted to support Tetsuo and his wife because... well I understand their motivations completely. However, then there is Kyouichi, whom I just really began feeling sorry for. I really hoped I'd get to see him reclaiming his father's business. But Kyouichi is a gang member, and Tetsuo... well he killed someone and is trying to get away with it. He does it to protect his family but... While I never thought he deserved to be killed for protecting his daughter from getting killed in an abusive relationship, I still think he should at least have served some time in jail. Had Tetsuo turned himself in to the police, he would only have gotten that punishment, being sent to prison, as Japan usually only give the death penalty to people who are guilty of murdering multiple people. Throughout the entire anime, that's what I was hoping would happen in the end, that Tetsuo would get the gang to leave his family alone, then go to prison and serve his time there. But that hope was all out towards the end of episode 11 and completely extinguished at this point.

So, what happened? Well, Nobuto's dad, Matori, found out that his only family, his son, was dead and swore revenge on the murderer and their family. Kyouichi, who has been framed for Nobuto's murder, finds out who really did it and tells Matori. Matori then goes to Reika's apartment to search for signs that that was where his son was killed. However, there is Tetsuo, sleeping peacefully after having just escaped execution by the gang because he was the one who framed Kyouichi. He and Matori meet and Matori tries to kill Tetsuo to avenge Nobuto, but Tetsuo can't let himseelf get killed as Matori tells him that his wife and daughter will be next. The two fight to kill each other. It causes a lot of noise and the police is called to the apartment, but while Tetsuo is choking Matori to death, he convinces the police to leave them alone and once the coast is clear, both from police and gang menters, he disposes of Matori's body and Nobuto's remains at a deserted part of a forest out in the mountains. Then he goes home to his worried wife and daughter. A while later, Typhoon no. 11 hits their area, causing earth and rocks to slide down the mountain, further covering the grave that Tetsuo made for his two victims.

I think I have inherited part of my dad's thinking. When he reads mystery novels, he wants to see the mureerer getting punished. I want to see that too, so in a way, it really bothers me that Tetsuo actually gets away with murdering, not once, but twice!

In a way, I wish I could recommend this series to someone but... well, my dad will probably hate it because of the ending and like the rest of my family, he doesn't seem to watch something he knows is anime. I'd say, you need the stomach for a story where things are a lot different. In a way, it is realistic. There is no pure good, nor any pure evil among the people that are featured the most. The innocent ones in this would probably be Nobuto's first girlfriend, Hibiki, and then Reika, who wasn't his girlfriend as much as she was "the other woman" without even knowing it. They never did anything criminal.

So yeah, My Home Hero has quite a different story from what I have seen in fiction so far. It has sympathetic, but very criminal characters everywhere, a summary that almost makes you think mystery and a plot that makes you think thriller. It has a great opening soundtrack and an almost as good ending soundtrack. Every character seems well written and it has a somewhat abrupt end. It even has some lose threats, like why are the members of the gang interested in Kasen's family? What kind of people is her family, why did Tetsuo take her family name if the family did not approve of their marriage? What happened to Kyouichi in the end? Things like that were things I wondered about as the series ended. So yeah, it has a little bit of a lot of things. Watch it if you want, but at your own risk. It's definitely not a series for children, or people who can't stand violence, threats of violence, threats of rape and death.

Thank you for reading. I think I will post it.

[pinepickled]

some big UTRH meta

or whatever

so I reread UTRH and I have thoughts, particularly on the actual theme and reasons behind UTRH being the way it is. The long and short of it is one thing and one thing only: what does Bruce care about more?

Firstly, let's talk about the setting of UTRH, particularly in respect to the other Bat's brood. Jason is dead, of course, but also at this time Barbara has been paralyzed by the Joker. Stephanie is dead. Cassandra, Tim, Dick, and Barbara have all cut off contact with Bruce due to his deep grief and inability to cope after Jason's passing resulting in him pushing them away.

I'd like to focus on one thing, though, and it's the fact that Joker, as seen in the papers Talia gives Jason, hasn't been contained in the slightest. At. All. Still alive, still kicking, still hurting people under Batman's watch. He's even gone to the heart, one of the eldest of Batman's children, Barbara Gordon. He put her into a wheelchair through nothing short of bloody, torturous violence. Joker has done at least 2 horrific things to two separate little kids that were supposed to be protected and loved by the Bat when UTRH starts.

Knowing this, we can see where Jason's idea of the Joker needing to die takes root. Batman claims that killing the Joker would be wrong on the simple moral ground that killing is wrong, that exerting great power over others isn't ethical. What Batman doesn't know is that he ultimately exists in a comic, which we'll get to later. Jason can see plainly that Batman is incapable of doing anything substantial to keep Joker from hurting more people, and he knows he's willing to do what Batman cannot. What's the obvious conclusion here? What can be done to stop the Joker from making another Jason Todd? Another Barbara Gordon?

The man says it himself.

Not only does Jason bring up what Barbara has gone through because of the Joker, he also brings up the 'graveyards' that the Joker has filled, the thousands of innocents who have suffered at his hands. Jason isn't just thinking of the Batfamily here, he's thinking about the average Gotham citizen who's lost a parent, a spouse, a child, because of the Joker.

Now you may be saying, 'But Pine! Killing is wrong because (long, long list of political reasons that vary based on your brand of progressivism)" and normally i'd say you're right! In the real world where people are not a means to push a narrative or tell a story, taking life is wrong in any circumstance!

But, you see, the real life New Jersey doesn't have a psycotic clown going around killing people and being thwarted by a man in a bat costume. Although Batman's reason for not killing the Joker is a sentiment that exists in real life quite well, it just can't be used on it's own to justify why Jason is wrong. This is a world where aliens go around saving the Earth in spandex or shirtless. the real world way of things is extremely loose at best.

The real way to look at this, aside from the capital punishment argument, is through the lens of family. Parents go to the ends of the Earth for their children, everyone knows it or so we're told. Losing a child is one of the greatest pains that anyone can go through. Jason isn't telling Batman to suddenly be glocking every random villain that crosses his path, he is begging his FATHER to do what fathers DO. He says it plain as day that the familial love goes at least one way, that if the roles were reversed then Joker would be dead in the ground. He is begging Bruce to give him a real answer, be honest about why he won't do it.

In the world these characters live in, where the impossible happens daily, where a man with so much power and so much nobility had the worst thing taken from him, Batman avenging Jason makes sense. Especially when the boy himself is begging for it. It's not to prove Batman loves him because Jason knows he did, he knows he deserves to be avenged.

He looks so damn young in that last panel.

But this isn't just to say that Jason is completely opposed by the logic of the DC Bat universe, or even by the Batman himself! There are multiple times in the story where Batman second guesses himself, so close to being able to give Jason the love he wants but always shying short.

Allow me to explain.

Time and time again, Batman has been ineffective. He cannot stop the Joker and it keeps coming to bite him in the ass, especially when it comes to the batkids! Jason was fucking killed, one of the few comic book characters who died and was going to stay dead. He has plenty reason to be upset, and it is very lucky for Bruce that Jason only ever wanted him to kill the Joker and not everyone else he's failed to rehabilitate, such as (appearing in this story alone) Black Mask, Mr Freeze, Clayface, and im sure there are more!

Not even to mention that Alfred actually does somewhat see the logic in Jason crossing the one line no bat crosses. In this panel, Alfred is reminiscing on Robin!Jason being """dangerous""" and the reason, as Jason observed it, for why the crazy 'dress ups' like captain nazi and joker and the like were so bold whereas other street thugs weren't.

In the universe of Batman, Alfred Pennyworth finds himself seeing the logic in Jason's ideology even though he knows that it opposes him and Batman morally! Also, let me say again, in real life Jason's actions would be morally reprehensible but it is a Batman comic, not real life. Bruce and Alfred privately doubting their own ideology despite fighting Jason is another way to push a narrative, the narrative that even though the Wayne family grieved, even though Bruce to that day was not over Jason's death, even though Bruce resorted to self destructive behavior, reclusiveness, seeking out the scarecrow just to see his greatest fear, to see Jason, again.

And in this panel, we can see that Bruce's ideology actually does start to cave! Batman and Alfred are telling each other a story of son and father, of a father being proud when the son overtakes him. Is this not blatantly saying that Jason's new way of dealing with Gotham criminals is the way that surpasses Bruce, that could actually make a difference instead of repeating tired cycles? Or at the very least, that Bruce thinks it is so? On some level?

Check out that silence in the middle. Bruce, Alfred, and the empty Robin!Jason suit. All three of those people are thinking the same thing.

UTRH is a story about doubt, about times changing, and about DC itself. It's a sort of meta comic, expressing Judd Winick's and ultimately our, the fan's, discontent with the Batman storyline. Nothing has changed, nothing has resolved. Things happen and then a reset button is pushed, like it never even mattered at all. The one character who did matter, who's reset button wasn't pushed to erase his trauma, is being used to criticize DC and Batman in one fell swoop.

UTRH wants the cycle to end. UTRH wants a new Batman. UTRH wants an end to the 80 year retcon.

UTRH wants Bruce to be a kind, loving man again.

Capital punishment is the last thing on the minds of the writers.

[bigskydreaming]

Hi, I was reading your post about Jason punching Dick in the face when Dick revealed he fake his death was bullshit ( which it was) and it reminded me of an issue/question that has bothered me for sometime.

Why did people believe Dick was actually dead?

I’m not the most avid comic reader so maybe I missed something but it was always weird to me that everyone just accepted this especially given how Bruce was acting or should I say wasn’t acting.

This is a man when his child died another child had to come along and told him sir you are being too violent and emotional you need supervision. When his other child died he went all over the universe to bring him back to life because he knew it was possible ( which was happening at the same time), so why didn’t anyone think it was weird he wasn’t doing that for Dick. Can you imagine Dick really dying that soon after Damian it would be injustice Batman Version. You are telling me that Tim, Jason or Barbara didn’t think it was weird that Bruce didn’t also bring Dick’s corpse to the bring Damian back to life mission or mention it to themselves. Like what more likely Dick dead and Bruce is handling it well or that he fake his death to do something stupid and Dangerous after his partner/brother/ little bit my son the feelings are complicated died after he was knocked out and woke up to his corpse.

Oh man, this is like, the entire nature of my beef?

(Slight derail just to emphasize the fact real quick that Dick DID actually die, he was just revived quickly, but like, the trauma of his death was very real and its not like anyone was clued into Luthor having a resurrection backdoor built into his literal murder of Dick in the actual moment of it happening. So Dick’s death wasn’t fake, and additionally, he didn’t have anything to do with like, telling people about it, because he was literally comatose in the cave and recovering while Bruce was telling people....by the time Dick woke up in the cave, we already know that Alfred at least had already been convinced by Bruce that Dick was dead, so I have a kneejerk need to pushback against the Dick faked his death narrative by reminding people wherever possible that Dick had no agency in the spreading of that narrative. 

It happened without him being involved, and the only actual contribution he ever made to it was just not revealing he was alive before Grayson #12, after Bruce like.....emotionally, mentally and physically badgered him into accepting that doing so would be directly harmful to his family and he didn’t want to be the reason more people died when like, people had just died because he ‘let’ himself be captured and interrogated by Power Woman’s Lasso of Submission, did he?

SORRY TO BE PEDANTIC, just wanted to start this off on a clarification, even though I know the aim of your ask was very much in tune with the rest of my response. A lot of people don’t read the actual comics, so like, I’m never gonna skip over an opportunity to emphasize that the shorthand people use to refer to Dick’s death and the year he was with Spyral, is like, literally just shorthand for describing it. Its not actually an accurate description of how all that went down and who had the most hand in it).

BUT ANYWAY. BACK TO THE MEAT OF THE BEEF.

Okay so like, not only was the entire family and Bruce himself giving Dick shit for his death and Spyral, like, PAINFULLY egregious because it was literal victim blaming in every possible sense of the word....

None of it made a LICK of sense with ANY of their characterizations, and they ONLY all accepted it on face value because the Plot Demanded It, and when you're like, no, as a reader I say The Plot Demanded It is not a good enough reason for me to be like well sure, that makes sense......looking at the characters ACTUAL actions at face value pretty much just makes them all look like assholes?

Like, Tim has never gracefully accepted anyone's death. Ever. This is core characterization for him. He will go to the ends of the earth for his loved ones and to bring them back, prove they're not dead, refuse to let death be the final verdict for them. He was tempted to use the Lazarus Pit to bring his parents back to life. He refused to accept Bruce was dead long before he had any proof whatsoever of that theory. He tried to clone his BFF/future-husband Kon in his fucking basement like, dude was two whole inches away from going Full Dark Side in his quest to bring back a lost loved one no matter WHAT the cost.....and then you've got Dick unmasked onscreen, killed offscreen, and Bruce then reporting to the rest of them with zero inflection 'oh Dick's dead now. Its very sad' and Tim's just like, sure. Sounds legit.

I mean?!?!

And you're SO RIGHT ABOUT THE DAMIAN THING! Bruce LITERALLY LITERALLY LITERALLY went BEYOND the ends of the Earth, like, he full on chartered a fucking space ship to fly his whole family out to APOKOLIPS to bring Damian back from the dead by going to EXTREME lengths.....WHILE everyone else thought Dick was dead....

And not a single person looked at Bruce and was like, okay, not that we're not down to do this for Damian because we miss Stabby Smurf something fierce ourselves, but.....what the fuck is UP with you dude? Why aren't you displaying ANY hint of this same kind of energy in regards to your eldest son that you said you watched die right in front of you?

Like....I don't know that we were actually ever told that Dick's coffin was empty or had a fake in it, but like....this family of detectives who refuse to accept death, defy death, COME BACK FROM THE DEAD....not a single one of them said like, okay, if I'm gonna like, ACCEPT accept that Dick is dead and gone for good, I need to at least just see him one last time? That's literally all it would have taken for someone to realize hey something's a little wonky here. Where's the dead body, Pops?

Since when has Jason ever missed an opportunity to prove Bruce is a) full of shit, b) acting like an emotionless robot and all his kids deserve better especially when they've just like....died, c) just factually incorrect and wrong and jumped to a conclusion before it was conclusively proved, d) lying like a liar or e) all of the above?

Nobody even ASKED if Dick's body could be put in a Lazarus Pit? Yeah, Jason wouldn't necessarily recommend it himself, given what it put him through, but actually fuck that, I take that back, because I'm NOT actually of the opinion that Jason full on hates his life and actively spends every second of every day wishing he hadn't been resurrected, even if it had come with a huge buffet of additional trauma and pain.

And that's kinda what's implied when people just take it for granted that he would never be on board with any scenario involving using a Lazarus Pit to bring Dick back, because it suggests that based even just on his own experiences and feelings, he honestly believes Dick would prefer being dead and not have ANY further opportunities to be with his loved ones, his friends, help save the damn world again at some future point.....that Jason, projecting based just off himself, legit feels Dick would rather be dead than have another shot at life even WITH the downsides of Lazarus Pit usage? Nope. Sorry, I don't buy it.

Speaking of not buying it.....you know what was missing from all those soliloquies the others monologued at Dick about how they felt and were hurt and just devastated by his death, to such a point they can't seem to muster a single shred of happiness that he's NOT dead still -

(seriously, Damian was the ONLY person in ALL THE LANDS OF EMOTION-HAVING who expressed ANY kind of positive reaction to having Dick back. We were so fucking cheated of like.....ANY opportunity to have the characters show just how much they valued him by just being fucking HAPPY he was alive, no matter what else was involved....and then most of fandom compounded that by for years being like mmmm, no, Dick didn't get yelled at enough by his family for what HE put THEM through. Needs more yelling. More punching too. Bad Dick. Bad. This is the only way you'll learn not to die and get shipped off on a mission that you don't want but at least is to protect your family after being beaten into it by your dad whilst victim blaming you for dying in the first place. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN TO THINK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE AND THEIR FEELINGS FOR A CHANGE, DICK?!?)

- But like, BUT I DIGRESS aside....you know what was missing from all those monologues about how hard DICK'S death and ensuing year of basically exile from his loved ones was for EVERYONE BUT HIM?

We never got a single line of explanation as to what everyone else officially thinks even happened to him in the first place?

Like, did Bruce straight up just say oh bad news kids, your brother umm. Expired. Spontaneously. There's no one to blame, he just keeled over, its all very sad.

Is that how that went down?

You're telling me that the explanation of Dick's death didn't come with a single pointed finger at someone for this family of blame-happy vigilantes to like, BLAME for the loss of this brother they all mourned oh so much, they just couldn't help but blame him for all the hurt it caused them?

The family that in every other fic is like OBSESSED with avenging and being avenged and all things vengeful and even tangentially vengeance-y....like didn't ask for a single detail on whomst the fuck deprived us of our brother-having?

Where were the attempts on Luthor's life by Jason (who I mean, yeah I know it was in a previous continuity, but erasing that timeline doesn't erase my awareness of the time Dick killed Jason's murderer so like.....mmm, just saying, woulda been nice)....where was the rage directed at the Crime Syndicate and references to how seriously and personally the Batfam took making sure that they were PUNISHED for all this and would never be free to wreak havoc on their world or their family again? What did they tell Damian when he came back to life, and how are you going to tell me that this fraternal little ball of fury didn't aim himself like a cannonball at whomever the fuck had DARED take HIS Batman from him when Damian wasn't around to have his back?

Not only does everyone else's desire to be avenged start falling really flat the second you factor in hey maybe Dick feels "mmm what about MY avenging" sometimes, and why doesn't anyone ever care about doing that for him.....but also, y'know what REALLY sucks about the ONLY person we actually SEE being blamed for Dick's death and ensuing absence being like....Dick himself?

Not only were his family all super keen on making all of this HIS fault and HIM the bad guy because of how it made them all feeeeeeel (and meanwhile fuck his feelings, am I right Batfam hfaklshfklahfkla).....

They somehow found a way to justify prioritizing this OVER ever even getting around to blaming some villain for his death in the FIRST place, in the entire year or so they thought he was still dead!

Like, you couldn't come up with a single target in all that time, but Dick's back two seconds, and you don't even give him a chance to EXPLAIN before you're punching him, shutting him down with 'I expected better from you' and turning away with 'I don't want to hear it, why am I surprised Dick Grayson disappointed me again'?

afshklfhalfhalfhla

Make it make sense!

And like, it won't, cuz it doesn't, and it never will, and like I said at the top, the ONLY reason it all played out this way is because DC doesn't give a fuck about character development and deemed it necessary to go down this way for the sake of the plot (which was totes worth it, I mean, glad we sacrificed characters for this A+ plot which was clearly the greatest plot of all time and definitely justified every story choice made or not made around it loooool).

BUT.

BUT BUT BUT.

The problem isn't JUST that DC is stupid, even though that is an eternal mood and quite the problem.

Its that the SECOND large parts of fandom decided to play along with DC and just accept the story at face value, only add to it and play into it exactly as it happened in canon with no significant deviations, and like, heaping on the LITERAL abuse from Dick's siblings while ignoring the LITERAL abuse from his father....

THAT....is when all of this becomes relevant.

Because the second people decided TO engage with the reasoning DC gave for what Bruce did and how and what Dick did and how and just not mess with any of that and have it all play out exactly like that...

The second people are like, okay we're FINE with not just dismissing this story as OOC writing that doesn't make any sense, and actually VALIDATING it to various degrees by engaging with it as is....

That's when 'OOC writing' stops being an excuse or explanation for alllll of the above gaps in character logic and actions.

Because its like, when you had abundant chance to REJECT this story and say nope, this was bullshit from start to finish and I'm not here for it, when you were just as capable of transforming literally ANY aspect of this story you didn't like into something that made more sense to you....

And you chose not to.

That's.....accepting it as valid writing. You were like, okay, I'm game to just treat this as a thing that happened, just like they said that happened.

For the chance to give Dick shit for it, see. For the angst, see.

And that's when I'm like okay cool, so when engaging with this story as is and accepting it on face value and just delving into the characters as they were SHOWN interacting with and around these events......for the angst or whatever....

You guys just all decided en masse to just hop, skip and jump over allllllllll the opportunities for angst inherent in examining even ANY SINGLE ONE of the above lapses in judgment or hypocrisy on the parts of the characters (who don't get to be excused by OOC writing if you're not going to call the story an example of OOC writing, whoops).

And its just like, uh, what's up with that?

[autisticcassandracain]

AND ANOTHER THING

While I’ve laid out the reasons that Talia faked a miscarriage in the last post, I also think it’s fair to say you can dig deeper than the surface level analysis I presented there.

In Batman: Son of the Demon, Talia and Bruce are presented as a relationship of similar people. While it’s never explicitly stated, given that the comic went out of its way to give Talia a similar watched-a-parent-get-murdered backstory as Bruce, I don’t think it’s unfair to say that it was intentionally trying to play up the similarities between them.

This does not mean they are identical people; they have obvious ideological conflicts, not just with Talia covering for her father, but also in Talia believing in murder while Bruce doesn’t. But even with those differences, I would argue they have more similarities; they both watched a parent die and are, in the current story, driven by vengeance for that murder; they are both people who place the idea of justice and helping others on a high pedestal, and are willing to sacrifice themselves in order to do it. 

I would argue that those similarities are what made Talia fall for Bruce to begin with; his devotion to justice, his prioritization of human life and helping others, and, in Batman: Son of the Demon canon specifically, probably the way she related to his pain of losing his parents. Talia loves Bruce not in spite of Batman, but because of it; because he’s willing to sacrifice himself for others, because he’s so inhumanly devoted to justice.

But with her becoming pregnant, Bruce starts to abandon those values. He starts to put himself above the world in a way Talia can’t relate to. Similarly, he stops being able to relate to Talia, as shown when he dismisses her need for vengeance, and her pain over her mother dying. Bruce, essentially, transforms into a completely different person, one Talia simply cannot relate to anymore, who is practically unrecognizable from the man she loved. 

I believe Talia primarily faked her miscarriage for the reasons I stated in the last post: because Bruce was becoming paranoid to a degree that it put himself in danger and made him reckless, and because he was willing to let the whole world go to hell if it meant keeping Talia and his unborn child ‘safe’. 

But if we want to dig deeper, I also believe she faked the miscarriage because she could no longer recognize the man she fell in love with. Not because he was growing ‘soft’, but because he was abandoning the central personality traits that had led them to connect in the first place. In a situation where the world wasn’t on the line, this might not have been as big of an issue; they might’ve been able to talk it out, or Talia might not even have noticed, because there was no real reason for him to act as Batman. But in a situation where the man Talia fell in love with would’ve tried to help others above all else, he instead tried to protect his own happiness above all else. 

In this, I think it was Talia’s turn to be selfish. Talia loves Batman; she loves the man who thinks of justice, morality, and others first and himself second. That’s what she fell in love with! When Talia faked the miscarriage, it was to push Bruce to save the world and, in the process, take down the man who killed her mother.

But I believe the decision to keep faking the miscarriage, to give the baby up without telling Bruce, was made because she was of the opinion the Batman couldn’t die. Both for the sake of others, the people who need Batman, and, ultimately, for herself. Because she didn’t want the man she fell in love with to fade from existence. 

This is a reading of the text that’s subjective, and I’d probably be able to substantiate it better if I wasn’t running on like, one sandwich for this entire day, and I’m absolutely sure I’m forgetting some key aspect of Talia’s character bc I’ve been trying to remember it for the entirety of this post but just can’t. 

That said, in conclusion, I don’t think Talia and Bruce’s relationship has ever been entirely healthy. I believe Talia fell in love with Batman first and foremost, not because he’s ‘tough’, but because he’s selfless and devoted to justice to a frankly unhealthy level, but in a way that maintains a sense of morality her father lacks. It’s novel to her, and familiar and relatable at the same time. And she saw that man change and morph into something she couldn’t recognize, something that dismissed the pain and anger she felt at seeing her mother murdered, that would put his own happiness over other’s well-being, and decided she wasn’t willing to go along with it.

Talia was, on some level, acting selfishly in Batman: Son of the Demon, at least in my reading. Talia is not and has never been a perfect person, which is why she’s interesting in the first place. But by reducing her choices to ‘the baby made Batman soft’, they are reducing her character to one she has never been when well-written: one cold and unfeeling, when in fact, she’s the opposite. Talia is, at her core, passionate. Her flaws come from that passion: the way she defends her father even though he doesn’t deserve it, the fact that she was willing to give up a baby if it meant maintaining the man she fell in love with, saving the world, and avenging her mother, the other morally grey methods she’s willing to use in pursuit of her goals. If you dislike her for that, fair enough, but at least dislike her for the right reasons.

[spite-and-waffles]

Trying to drag real-world ethics into the Batverse is a bad faith argument when absolutely nothing in the Batverse has any ethical or moral standing in the real world.

Real world evils that claim death tolls:

- billionaires

- cops

- vigilanteism

- copaganda (crime-fighting as a genre is libertarian copaganda)

- prison industrial complex

- war on drugs

- child soldiers

- policing entities without democratic or civic transparency or oversight

- finding acceptable targets for your personal trauma and visiting what you believe is justified violence on them

But all of that is fine and good and acceptable as conceits of the universe, EXCEPT the question of "should this rich white guy who appoints himself the protector of the innocent due to the failures of the legal system, actually do something about this guy who keeps killing because of the failure of the legal system?" THAT is somehow above challenge or question. Never mind that turning the concept of "legal incompetence", meant to protect the most vulnerable population in a society, into a loophole for fictional mass murderers is violent ableism and copaganda. Forget taking a deep dive into why exactly killing is bad, or how far a value system can go before it becomes self-serving, or storytelling imperatives or any of that. The only reason any of us could ever take Jason's side (re: the Joker) is that we, in real-life, think that "bad guys should die". Instead of the fact that because nothing works as it should in the Batverse, the Joker's continued existence actively cheapens any moral code that allows it.

You can take whatever side you want to, but get off that horse and actually engage with the question, or fuck off with the dudebros who think "killing a serial killer makes you as bad as a serial killer" has any actual ethical basis.

[ellestra]

Friends and family

I really liked how the episode humanised both Eleanor (she isn’t just the nagging parent) and Jack (he isn’t just shady and creepy) and gives us a glimpse into their relationship from their point of view not just Kate’s. It turns out to be actually pretty nice and even Kate begins to understand what her mother sees in Jack. And that’s the moment when she learns she was right all along and he is shady. Of course, I’m pretty sure so is Eleanor (my bet is she called the “Uncle”) so I still root for them to be happy being evil together.

Still, it’s clear how much Eleanor loves Kate. And that talk about protecting kids and even professionals not being immune to dying hit Clint like a guided missile. She is very good at getting her point across. But it also made me wonder if she doesn’t know too much. Jack on the other hand seemed not to even notice his prize possession got stolen. Maybe he also didn't realise he was made into CEO of criminal shell company and that's what his uncle was trying to warn him about.

I also liked how it became clear that Clint and Kate are friends despite his protestations. Sure, she is like an annoying younger sister who keeps following him when he just wants to be left alone but when they do hang out together it’s fun. And she’s someone he can teach all the cool tricks. And in the end he even acknowledges his sins.

When Clint send Kate to get “their” arrows and she looked sceptical of the LARPers I was surprised as they seemed like a group of people she would instantly fit in but it turned out it was right. Clint’s look when it turned out their “safe house” turned into a big party with all the Kate’s new friends was the best part of it. Although the whole thing with getting a police officer to get her the arrows form evidence just on say so was almost suspense of disbelief breaking (but maybe saying it’s to return it to an Avenger is enough since people in general seem so eager to do something for them).

Still, it underlines on strength Kate has over Clint - people skills. He is the shadow spy and he feels most comfortable staying that. She on the other hand relies on ability to connect with people. Both when getting help and for B&E.

But she is still a kid over her head and seeing her going over the edge like Natasha did almost broke Clint (although it was nice of Yelena and Maya to let Clint stare and cut her before fighting again). Kate is smart and talented but she is also too eager to be like him without fully comprehending the danger and he understand both losing a friend and losing a child all too well to let her keep following him into the danger. It was all fun and games when he thought he could protect her but now Black Widow is involved and this got serious. But, as falling from a building was not a deterrent enough it’s hard to imagine Clint saying “no” would go any better this time than any other.

Still that four way fight was really cool. I liked Kate getting rid of the gun and using her arrows. I liked how Yelena was clearly being careful not to harm innocents - she put that line on Kate before kicking he off the roof and her charges were very weak as even to didn't incapacitate completely. She is clearly trying not to kill. Or at least not to kill anyone but Clint. Maya on the other hand just wants someone to hurt.

Also, Laura Barton is becoming more and more intriguing. She clearly was in the spy business too - her knowledge, contacts, languages. I think we deserve the whole backstory. We get so much character building both for her and most of all for Clint himself in these episodes that was sorely missing in the movies and with each of them I just want Clint to make it home for Christmas even more (and I still hope it will end with Yelena driving him there for the full circle).

[inhonoredglory]

Run Away from Me: A Levi Meta

The core of this meta is to show that, IMHO, Levi’s violence against Historia in Chapter 56 is his emotional fallout from the torture of Sannes, as well as his own guilt at the person he had become. Coming from having only watched the anime, I personally found this placement in the manga of the Historia scene right after both the torture sequence and the Reeves Company alliance as incredibly meaningful, especially for Levi’s character and his emotional journey.

Levi is an immensely compassionate person, someone who wants to aspire to the “unimaginably altruistic” life of Erwin Smith (Isayama, SNK Encyclopedia). So how would this torture he had to inflict affect him? Because imagine for a second: This is the man who was the only one to truly react with horror and sadness at the knowledge that they’d been killing human beings all this time when they fought Titans. This is the man who went out of his way to ally with the Reeves Company in order to answer the Trost townspeople’s woes:

In Chapter 53, Levi is confronted with blatantly disrespectful Trost merchants who think the Survey Corps haven’t done enough to save their town. It’s the everyday things that burden these people—taxes, thieves, putting food on the table. Levi doesn’t once shoot back at them for their criticism. Instead, he listens. And then he spots a woman at the side of a merchant’s stall. She’s holding a baby and her eyes burn into Levi’s. She holds his attention while above him, the merchants continue their tirade. I think Levi’s thinking of his mother here: like this woman, she was a single parent raising a child in a city that is not unlike Trost now, a town abandoned and forgotten by society, poor and struggling. That child reminds Levi of himself, and this time, Levi can do something about it.

This is why Levi goes out of his way to ally with the Reeves Company. Levi and Dimo share a long, deep conversation, demonstrating that Levi’s alliance with them is more personal than merely the company’s strategic value. Dimo Reeves called Levi an “awkward yet kind man.” He goes on the say that Levi will “protect us and the barely-alive District of Trost, even though he doesn’t really have to.” This is Levi answering that townsperson’s accusation that “you in the Survey Corps aren’t working hard enough.” Levi entrusts to the Reeves Company the responsibility to bring the town out of poverty in the new world the SC will create. That’s his compassion, that’s his care, that’s his humility. That’s how he values the lives of people, not just by defeating Titans, but valuing their livelihoods. “A man like that must have come from absolutely nothing,” concludes Dimo.

This is the same Levi we find torturing Sannes.

In Chapter 55, the torture of Sannes happens because of the horrors Hange saw inflicted on Minister Nick. It is Hange’s passion for avenging Nick that drives the torture sequence, their anger at the tortures that had happened under the MP’s First Squad that motivates the payback inflicted by Hange and Levi. Levi’s violence is done, not out of his own desire, but primarily Hange’s. This is not to say that Levi was guiltless or without responsibility for Sannes’s torture; on the contrary, his actions weigh heavily on him, as will be discussed. But it’s interesting to note that out of all the tortures they did, breaking Sannes’ nose was the only retribution all Levi’s own (in reaction to Sannes’ justification of a series of horrific things the MPs had committed).

I also find it relevant that after everything they had done to Sannes, Levi was still visibly shocked at Hange’s overreaction to Sannes’ hesitation to answer their first real question. Because in Levi’s mind, everything they had done up to that point wasn’t torture—in one sense. It was instead a like-for-like payback for the horrors Sannes had inflicted on Nick. Note that it was Levi who had to pull Hange out of the emotional distraction of Nick’s death in Chapter 52, the same emotional distraction that drives Hange to overzealous violence here.

There’s an interesting parallel in what happens next with what Levi had gone through with Annie earlier. Levi threatened Annie with torture of her real body and said he enjoyed intimidating her as she was bound and trapped. Sannes confessed that for him, he enjoyed violence and tormenting the helpless—so why should he complain if these torturers, Hange and Levi, are the same as him? It’s a subtle parallel, but it’s a relevant theme in SNK that everyone, on all sides, are devils and monsters. Or as Sannes says later, “The world will always have people like us.” People who are violent, people who are lunatics, people who condemn themselves and get their hands dirty for the sake of some higher “good.” Sannes’ accusation isn’t lost on Levi, because this is the same Levi who looked at a struggling mother in a forsaken city and did something about it.

Justified violence is still violence. So what if Annie deserved to have her limbs cut off, time and time again, without relief of death? So what if Sannes deserves to have his fingernails torn off, one by one, without even a question put to him? They had, after all, inflicted death and untold horrors on innocent people. But does justice look like this? Does the name of justice absolve your hands from actions this ugly?

Morality is complicated. And Levi is the first to tell you that he doesn’t know how to slice it. “I’m not telling you what’s right or wrong. I certainly don’t know what is” (Chapter 59).

So now in Chapter 56, we come to the scene with Historia, right on the heels of that torture. The first red flag for me went up when Levi realizes he has “forgotten” to tell his squad about Historia’s true bloodline. It’s not that he didn’t intend to tell them, it’s not that he was not supposed to tell them. (Unlike, say, the entire Female Titan arc.) He forgot, and he’s clearly embarrassed when they confront him. Why? Because he’s not supposed to lose focus like that. But he did, because that information came from Sannes, and after that horrendous experience, Levi, like Hange before him, was emotionally distracted. That’s the only reason I can figure for Isayama focusing on Levi’s oversight like this, and showing Levi in such an obviously emotionally awkward place.

Hange isn’t here to translate for Levi, like she did when Levi berated Eren for being unable to harden during the experiments in Chapter 53. Levi takes the scenic, colorful route when explaining his feelings. To Eren, he admitted that his criticism wasn’t about blaming Eren for being unable to harden, stating that “going over our shortcomings and bitching about our situation is an important ritual.”

In this light, we can read Levi’s words and actions with Historia as a complicated picture of his psychological landscape. Notice how just prior to this scene, we saw Hange act out the aftermath of the torture by kicking the table. Levi too reacts, taking it out on Historia.

Imagine where Levi is right now. He’s taken on the role of Sannes in this new world—the executioner, the ultimate killer, Humanity’s Strongest. “Your hands are already dirty. You can’t go back to the way you were,” Levi tells Armin later, but it’s also what he believes about himself. All that idealism that brought him into the Survey Corps—a life bigger than being a thug in the underworld. Did all that idealism bring him here, to do this? He has to make it worth it, he has to make it count for something. It’s what he does every day when his soldiers die under him—he’s been there to make their deaths worthwhile. But who’s there to make the deaths and terrors he’s dealt out worthwhile for him?

Levi’s expression in the last panel is angry, yes, but also wracked with pain.

So when Historia says she’s unfit for the role of Queen, when she says she can’t be Queen because she’s not good enough, Levi snaps. “Then run,” he said, grabbing her. “Run away from us as fast as you can. Because we’re going to do anything and everything to make you do what we want.” Levi’s eyes are downcast, not looking at her, because what he’s saying is more about him than it is about her.

Because he knows he’s dark enough to follow those orders to do the worst things to a human being to make the entire world a better place. He knows it’s in his bones to commit these atrocities. He is afraid of what he found he’s capable of. He’s already come to terms with killing humans as Titans. He’s come to terms with torturing humans as humans. He knows he can and will do horrible, unforgivable things. That’s his strength, that’s what makes him valuable, useful, important. He’s not like other people—“I’m abnormal… probably because I’ve seen far too many abnormal things.” But he’s ready to condemn himself, to make his hands dirty for the sake of others. He’s decided he has to go full through with the darkness he’s committed, because how else can he justify what he’s done? “I’m fine playing the role of the lunatic who kills people like that. I have to be ready to rearrange some faces. Because I choose the hell of humans killing each other over the hell of being eaten. At least that way… all of humanity doesn’t have to be damned.” His are the hands that will be stained with blood, his is the conscience that will be stained, his is the soul that will sink to hell—all so that others’ innocence can be spared.

The 104th look at him like he’s gone mad, abusing a young, helpless girl like that. But they haven’t seen what he had to do. They haven’t seen how bloody his hands have gotten. His violence here is a desperate reaction to get someone to save him. He’s always been able to avenge the deaths of his soldiers. But this time, he is the one in need of redemption. He could not justify his violence completely, he could only plea for her to make them unnecessary in the future. By becoming Queen, it means he won’t have to keep torturing, keep killing, keep shedding human blood. Her becoming Queen means a peaceful transition of power. Her becoming Queen means he won’t have to pave the path to a new government with more blood and more guilt, at least, not more than he has to. He’s enslaved to doing what his strength allows him to do. He’s begging her to not let people ask that of him.

[agendratum]

ok so

as usual after finishing an arc of mdzs my head is full, many thoughts. so let’s talk about the guanyin temple confrontation.

first thing that i kept paying attention to were actually the changes made in order to turn it into live-action. so in cql they had to make the gray-gray characters, the “there are no good or bad guys, just people and their circumstances” characters (unless you’re jgs, than yeah you’re a bad guy and everyone agrees on that actually) into slightly more black and white characters. by the end of cql we are lured into this fake sense of security, “haha, we know who the bad guy is!” (then a year passes and here you are, now a jgy apologist), by the end of mdzs, you just know that, well, decisions were made, unfortunate decisions, by many different people. 

cql had to make wwx into a bit nicer version of himself. the good protagonist couldn’t lose control and accidentally kill a bunch of people, and then kill another bunch of people fully willingly, cause his sister just died and that was the last connection he had to the idea that something still matters in this world. no, out protagonist should be... like a little bit nicer than that. so they lifted some of that responsibility for atrocities off him, but they couldn’t just evaporate it, could they? they had to put it somewhere. they put it on jgy. after all he’s the big bad in the end of the story, well, the only surviving person from all people that could be considered big bads, he’s the one that “did every terrible deed imaginable”. he could take that responsibility, they had to make his grayness into a slightly darker shade anyway.

i am actually kinda surprised by how different my reaction to jgy was in mdzs. obviously, there is a year difference between me watching cql and me reading this part of mdzs, and over that year i changed my opinion on jgy 5 thousand times and joined the camp “actually meng yao deserves all the best things in the world”, but anyway. when i was watching cql i was like, oh my god, can someone just kill him already, before he does something bad again, before more bullcrap comes out of his mouth, and also stop yelling at this kid about all the “valid” reasons to why you killed his dad. in mdzs my reaction to jgy’s confessions was like, “huh. he has a point”.

now don’t get me wrong there, some shitty things were done, but the thing is, the things he did really made sense from his point of view, from this position and life experience he really had no other way to go. i especially was convinced by his reasoning to why he couldn’t cancel his engagement with qin su. not only he would suffer from this story, because he already went through so much to make this marriage possible, but also qin su’s parents and herself would most likely suffer, their public image would be destroyed, only jgs wouldn’t lose anything. and you could feel the hatred and bitterness he felt towards his father talking about this, and everyone in the temple could agree with that, because he ��just forgot he made another child”, he didn’t even notice.

another interesting detail for me was lxc saying, “it’s not that i didn’t know that you did some of these things, it’s that i thought you had a good reason for doing them”. so yeah, a reminder, lxc isn’t blind and he isn’t an idiot. he trusted a person he thought he knew better than anyone else, and he believed in this person. the problem, i think, is that “a good reason” is different for lxc and for jgy. lxc would understand a righteous reason, doing something for the greater good. working for wen ruohan? that was explainable. they all were fighting in a war, fighting for the better, brighter future, and meng yao’s contribution to that future was immeasurable. what if he killed some people there? he had a good reason in lxc’s eyes. but meng yao had other good reasons in his life, some of these reasons lxc never had to deal with in his life. survival, for example, is one of them. meng yao’s early years were very different from lxc’s. not to say that lxc’s life was easy, but it was never truly unstable. meng yao had to learn how to survive in a world where no one wanted him. he lived with one dream, promised to him by his mother, a future where he wouldn’t have to suffer anymore, where he wouldn’t have to smile at people he hated, please every one of their desires so they wouldn’t harm him. and then he entered this life promised to him and he still had to survive, but now in a luxurious man-eats-man world of lanling jin.

meng yao’s life really was this unstoppable ball of snow rolling down the mountain, and every decision he made just made the ball bigger and it would just roll faster. there is even a moment where jgy accuses lxc of being naive. lxc isn’t really naive, of course, it was said in the heat of the moment, but it is a fact that lxc was never kicked down a staircase, never had to crawl back up, and the thing is, at the bottom of the staircase, there are other good reasons to do things.

and in a way lxc understood that jgy in his position really didn’t have any other choices, he just couldn’t find peace in this mindset. he kept repeated through that part, “and yet, and yet, you shouldn’t have done that, you should have...” and he never said what exactly jgy should have done. because lxc doesn’t know. jgy doesn’t know. no one knows. what choices were better? how could he fix all that and still survive? in a way, lxc saying that reminded me of wangxian farewell in the burial mounds. when lwj asks, “you really indent to keep going like this?” and wwx, who wished, who longed for another solution, for some way out, asked him, “what else can i do? what method can i choose to resolve this, not use this technique and still protect people i want to protect?” and lwj didn’t have an answer. lxc didn’t have an answer either.

another amazing thing about guanyin temple confrontation, is that it’s very heavily wwx’s pov. most on the novel is his pov of course, but there were a loot of his thoughts in this arc. and he was rather understanding towards jgy. not in a way “i agree with every reasoning behind every decision you made” but in a way “i understand that you had your reasons, but all of them will become irrelevant really soon, they already are, because the crowd will only remember you as a son of a whore who did every terrible deed imaginable, and all the good deeds will be forgotten” 

now his thoughts on nhs, or who he suspected nhs to be, were way less nice. especially compared to live action, nhs didn’t make such an impression on me as he made through wwx’s thought process in the end of guanyin temple arc. of course, wwx is no sect leader yao, he is not the one to jump to conclusions, he just noticed that if you put some facts together, they actually start making a lot of sense, and formed a full picture. but he didn’t have any proof, so he kept it mostly to himself. yet he still thought for a moment about nhs as someone who didn’t care about collateral damage that much, who was ready to sacrifice lives of juniors, sect leaders, anyone, if it would add to jgy’s kill count and make his fall and destruction even more disastrous. not that those are not the things that happened in live action, but you know, when wwx put it all together like that in one paragraph, i really felt it. like, oof, dude it’s ROUGH. and not even jgy’s death was enough, as nhs basically admitted to stealing meng shi’s body and planning to repay jgy for what he did to nmj’s body. yikes

i mean i still support nhs in everything he does, but yikes

also side note, glad that the dead cats situation finally became clear for me. this whole year i was so confused about who left all these dead cats for juniors to find. i thought maybe xue yang did?? to lure wwx?? so apparently it was also nhs. good to know.

another detail, probably the last one my brain can generate for now, that pained me a great deal was my poor child jin ling. i already cried about some things related to him and this arc, but there was another little one in the very end here, after jgy died. jin ling realised, that there were now three people, wwx, wn and jgy, his little uncle, that were responsible for his parents’ death. people he had every right and reason to hate. all three of them. and yet he couldn’t hate any of them. he couldn’t avenge his parents, that died so long ago he couldn’t remember them, because all three people responsible for what happened, had something, some reasons, some circumstances, that made them really not the bad guys in jin ling’s life. and they all cared about him, protected him. how could he hate them? how could he not? and in this way this poor child repeats, unfortunately, his uncle’s curse. to have someone he wants to hate so much but just simply can’t. it warms my heart at least that jin ling has a much better support system than jc had when he had to live through that experience. so there is hope.

[foxglow-diner]

The Iliad Book Five

I think I need to make a tally of how many times I’ve cried while reading the Iliad. So far I know damn well that I cried over Pandarus.

That shit hurted. 

He was screwed over by Athena twice. The first, she tricked him into shooting Menelaus. Instead of his shot being fatal, she prevented the arrow from hitting a life threatening area. The second time, Athena guided Diomedes’ spear, thus killing Pandarus. He tried to repair his honor after being the one who was goaded into shooting Menelaus. For that he was killed by the same goddess. 

When Aeneas tried to protect Pandarus’ body, he was hit by a boulder that Diomedes began to use. It shattered Pandarus’ hip, tore flesh, and made his vision go black. 

This leads to another point I want to discuss. One that I also want to somehow address in my thesis. The Trojans and the gods, versus the Argives and the gods.

It can be summarized as such: While the Trojans are trying to genuinely fight this war–––this statement includes the gods helping them–––the Argives are committing atrocious war crimes. 

Aphrodite is a rough topic in the Trojan’s defense as is Paris. That situation cannot really be defended on their behalf. Helen most definitely didn’t deserve what happened to her, and Aphrodite and Paris’ treatment of her is abhorrent. 

Diomedes actually mentioned this when he stabbed Aphrodite, but then ended up trickling into how she shouldn’t be saving her son, even though Diomedes himself, was super charged by Athena at the time. 

Now, Apollo, Ares, and Hephaestus are trying to provide support to the Trojans without being completely overbearing. Ares only stepped in when Apollo advised. Ares did, however, stay out of battle at the beginning of Book Five because Athena told him to (for her personal gain, I may add). When he stepped into battle, he didn’t advise, he didn’t imbue anyone with power. He gave one rousing speech or two, then helped fight. Hephaestus saved his own child. As did Aphrodite for Aeneas after Pandarus was killed. Apollo solemn appeared at this time, but he still offered aid where and when he could.

Meanwhile, Athena and Hera are going balls deep interfering. Athena super charged Diomedes, and even gave him the order to attack Aphrodite if they crossed paths. She eventually–––when Ares was back in the fight–––lifted that rule, allowing Diomedes to attack any god. Hera prior to this change in rule, went to Zeus, complaining to do something since Ares was ‘participating’, and it would be unfair if she couldn’t.

I know damn well that the only two reasons why Zeus agreed was for two reasons: the biggest is that he had to crush the Argives, so until that time came, he had to appear fair, and the second is that he didn’t want to deal with Hera arguing with him. 

In Book Five, there was something peculiar about the way it was written. Now, this might be simply explained by my translation, I’m not sure. Any time an Argive dies, he is provided insight about his life–––such as his lineage, parent’s lives, the dreams, and people he wanted to see after the war–––and was quickly avenged. When a Trojan died, he would be given significantly less. On one page, a Trojan died and got a single paragraph, while two Achaeans died, and received a long block of text, that could be broken into four paragraphs.

I have one large reason to explain the unfairness displayed. Homer himself didn’t want to tell a story that shed the majority of the gods’ favorites, and the gods themselves, in a nasty light. Which can be a front for the actual truth: Homer felt for the Argives, knowing how they were fighting for a multitude of reasons, even losing sight of the main one. Helen was a shoe in reason, and often told as the second reason or the cover reason as to why an Argive was fighting. 

From the Trojan perspective, they were fighting to survive the brutal Argives, to protect their remaining city, Troy itself. Hector had brothers, blood brothers, on the battlefield with him, and was trying to ensure his and their royal dignity maintained, even Paris. Hector was doing the most in every military and human department. And he was killed by Achilles. His body was famously mutilated for all the surviving Trojans to see. 

For the reason to explain the verses favoring of the Achaeans, Homer was doing it out of pity. He said that this is the fury and unfortunate might of the Argives. No matter how noble you are, they will crush you if they’re determined enough.

It is the rough, meticulous crafting that Homer spent on the details of his characters’ behaviors that draws me into the tale. And again, I’ve expressed interest of this particular area of The Iliad for my thesis. I need to pull it all together after I finish my reading. 

[frostedfaves]

For the Love of A Daughter

Masterlist

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary: The mom friend (or girlfriend) sometimes needs a mom, too.

Warnings: strained relations with a parent, emotional trauma mentions, a bit of angst, very unedited fic because I refuse to reread this

A/N: surprise Natasha fic as a result of my unresolved issues so I hope you enjoy! also I feel very exposed posting this so excuse me while I hide away.

-

It was no secret that you were the ‘mother’ of the group despite being the youngest, and you were astonishingly good at it. 

You were the only person able to convince Tony to sleep at some point during the night. You protected the tower from a few Code Greens by simply knowing exactly how to bring Bruce back to the front lines of his own mind. When Thor visited, you helped him unwind with Earthly snacks and movie marathons. You also helped Natasha get in touch with her emotions more, which played a small part in the two of you getting together. 

Anyone from the Red Room knows that emotions are for children, which is why Natasha despised you at first. The first moment you noticed a crack in her hard exterior, you touched it and suddenly the whole thing was shattered. She hated that you read her so easily when her job called for being a closed book. 

Unfortunately for her, there were only so many times you could place your warm hands on her heart before she gave into the comforting heat. A few minute talk one night turned into four hours and suddenly you understood why she pushed you away so often. From then on, she leaned into your caring eyes until she fell too far forward and pressed her lips to yours. She’s been glued to you ever since. 

As time went on, the rest of the Avengers got used to you lovingly patching their wounds on the jet ride home, bringing a mug of tea to their rooms when JARVIS alerted you of nightmares. Your kindness easily slipped right into their routines, a part of you that everyone eventually and quickly grew to love.

When everyone besides Thor arrived at the tower that evening, an unsettling feeling of dread filled their senses at the silence of the main floor. You’d been out to visit your mother for the first time in a while due to missions, but you promised the group you’d be home before them to make dinner. It wasn’t that they were incapable of feeding themselves (or ordering takeout to feed themselves), but you never broke a promise. 

“JARVIS, where is our tiny mother?” 

“She has not returned from her outing, sir,” the AI quickly answered Tony and Natasha sighed. 

“I’ll call her.”

“Agent L/N has arrived, sir,” JARVIS cut in before she could pull her phone from her pocket.

“And all's right with the world again,” Clint commented with a smile, earning himself a punch in the arm by Natasha. 

“Maybe she stopped at that local bakery she likes on the way home. You know, the one that sells the Hulk-shaped cookies,” Bruce suggested as the elevator doors opened. 

Your steps seemed to echo as you entered the room until you were greeted warmly by the others, and Natasha only needed a few seconds to look you over and realize you were not yourself. You were a pro at painting a comforting smile on your face but Natasha knew an artist when she saw one, especially one she loved. 

“Boys, give us a minute.”

You watched everyone slowly file out of the kitchen to find another room to hang around in, turning to Natasha with a frown. 

“Is everything okay, Nat?”

“You tell me.” She stepped closer to you, hands landing on your shoulders and sliding down until your fingers locked together. “Something’s bothering you.”

Your instantly quivering lip and tear-filled eyes left you no room to lie, so you didn’t.

“My mom’s getting married again.” You took a deep breath to prepare yourself to open up farther than you’d ever done before. “I’m actually really happy for her because her partner is a perfect match, but they have kids.”

“Are they little demons or something? I can take care of that, you know.”

“No,” you laughed a bit, the smile falling away quickly after. “No, they’re perfect little angels and I love them...and so does my mom. Probably more than she ever loved me.”

“Don’t you two have a great relationship though?” Natasha questioned, freeing a hand to wipe away an escaped tear.

“Yeah, she likes me now, but she didn’t when it really mattered. When I was their age, I would’ve killed to receive the positive attention and compassion she shows them now, and the more I watched them together, the more I felt like maybe there was something wrong with me.”

The tears fell more frequently now, faster than Natasha could wipe them away, and the waves of hurt emitting from your expression when you locked eyes was enough to wreck her heart.

“I reached out to her so much as a child with my arms opened as wide as they could go, and every time she just stepped around them. It only motivated me more to take all the love I was deprived of and share it with someone else, but sometimes I wish it was just who I was, and not a coping mechanism that turned into a personality trait.”

Natasha pulled you in flush against her, rubbing your back and squeezing a bit tighter when you began to shake in her arms. She held her tongue as she waited for you to calm, only pulling away when your sniffles were few and far apart.

“I know the world hasn’t been fair to you, but I’m proud of who you’ve become, so proud. I love that you were able to turn something so negative and hurtful into something that not only helped you feel better, but has absolutely done great healing wonders on the people around you.”

“What?” You scoffed instantly. “Nat, I didn’t do--”

“Yes you did, babe,” she pressed. “This team wouldn’t function as smoothly as it does without your gentle guidance, and I wouldn’t feel so damn warm inside when I wake up next to you.”

A grin spread across your lips as you pulled her in to kiss you. “Well when you put it that way, I guess I do something around here.”

“You do everything and then some. But don’t forget that you deserve someone to look after you, too.” She pulled out of your embrace, keeping a hold on one of your hands. “Come on.”

“Where are we going?” you asked curiously as she led you back to the elevator. “I have to get dinner started.”

Natasha simply shrugged as she pressed the button for the ground floor. “They’ll figure it out. We’re focusing on you right now.”

A short walk later, she watched with a smile as your eyes seemed to find their light again. You were approaching your favorite bakery, and you could tell even through the windows that new items had been added to the cookie section.

“Last time I was in here, I bought one that looked like the tower--” You suddenly gasped, pulling your girlfriend along with you before she could even ask what was wrong. “Look!”

Peering into the glass, she spotted her likeness in cookie form, beautifully dressed in her Black Widow suit. It was pretty flattering to see, but she couldn’t fight the cocky smirk that formed as she leaned in to whisper in your ear.

“If you wanted to eat me, we could’ve just stayed home.”