#also feel free to im me if you'd like to talk anything through first!

[tlouadditc]

hate to hate you.

enemies to lovers abby x reader.

a/n: this was an ask but i forgot to put this under it 😭 anyway thank u anon for asking!! this was so fun to write tbh and also i am not a nursing student so idk how any of this works .... hope you enjoy anyway :,) also might write a pt. 2 depending on how this one does!

warnings: 18+/MDNI, men dni either, mean!abby [kinda], super fem!reader, abby's a bully :,((, switch!abby, switch!reader, clothed grinding [?], oral [a!receiving], dirty talk ;), pussy slaps [?], rushed ending because im crocheting, probably more. NOT PROOFREAD AGAIN.

abby has been your rival since middle school. she was always making fun of you- could be how you had lower grades [by a couple points, to be specific], how you always dressed in pink and in skirts and were a "tryhard", literally anything. hell, when she found out you were interested in nursing, she made it a competition to see who could be the better doctor. eventually, the amount of taunting had gotten to you and you started dressing like everyone else and becoming a quieter person.

ever since then, there's been some silent tension between you two. it was stupid, of course, but neither of you made an effort to end the rivalry. every class you had together in high school was a competition to see who could participate the most, get the most praise from the teacher, highest grades- everything. but no matter what you did, you'd always be second to her. once senior year was over, you were free from this hell and decided to finally be your true self in college.

or so you thought.

it was your first day of freshman year. you were doing your makeup in your bathroom, trying to calm your nerves. you've done this multiple times before, you thought to yourself. why am i still nervous??

you were adding little finishes- a bit more blush, curling your lashes one more time, adding a bit of glitter to your inner corner, etc. you check the time: 8:03am. class starts in 20 minutes, and you have to walk! you quickly check your outfit, straightening out your pink skirt and grabbing your bag before leaving out.

the walk to class isn't bad; a little confusing, but there's staff around to help direct new students, so you easily find your class. you walk in as soon as the class starts. to your horror, all the seats in the front are taken. the professor stops her introduction and walks over to you to speak. "hi, you must be y/n? you're a tad late, but it is your first time here, so i'll let you have a pass. your seat is in the back corner next to ms. anderson."

anderson...? your smile fades as you look towards the seat the teacher is pointing at. there she is- sitting there with her smug smirk and her always-braided hair. fuck my life actually. you turn back to the teacher, crack a small smile, and nervously walk over to your seat.

"didn't think you'd see me, huh?" is the first thing that comes out of abby's mouth, her big smile growing wider after seeing the dread on your face. all you can do is glare at her and get your things out. as you rummage through your bag, you hear the professor say:

"the person you are currently sitting with will be your partner for the semester."

you've LITERALLY have to be joking. the girl who's been borderline bullying you for years is your partner for the rest of the semester?? you debate asking the teacher to change seats, but decide against it.

"can't believe im stuck with you," she mutters, mocking the disbelief on your face. "shut up, abby," you hiss, trying to keep your voice down.

this was gonna be quite a year, huh?

abby was unbearable the entire class. always asking useless fucking questions, moving her braid from one side to another- it all annoyed the fuck out of you. however, to pass this class, you had to work with her and put your feelings aside.

the first assignment was to study and review the human anatomy with your partner. the test on the subject was in a couple of days, making it the first grade of the semester. everyone else in the class was easily discussing plans for studying while you and abby made a horrible attempt for friendly small talk.

"so.. we have a test-"

"i heard."

"goddamnit, abby, i'm trying to pass this class. can you be nice for once?"

"stop staring at me like that and maybe i will."

"i wasn't even- [sigh] just give me your number so we can figure out a time and place. please."

and with that, you two later that night made the plan to meet up at your apartment and study there the next day.

the next day

you spent most of your morning doing your usual routine; cleaning, listening to your podcast, organizing your things- basically a mini-spa day. since abby was coming over, you didn't want to give her any reason to ridicule your space. you also debated on wearing some bland outfit to avoid the bicker, but ultimately decided you shouldn't care anymore. you settled on something casual; a floral tube top, a pink cardigan, and some comfy shorts to match the top. you also threw on some pink bunny slippers to match the ribbons in your hair.

as you finished the kitchen, the doorbell rang. must be abby. you walk to the door, slowly losing your happiness as you turned the doornob. upon opening the door, you see abby, leaning against your doorframe. she's dressed in a black wifebeater and gray sweats. she has a small tote bag and headphones around her neck.

as you study her look, she does the same to you. you suddenly feel small in comparison to her; almost feeling weak in her presence. if you were honest with yourself, in all the annoyance that you felt toward her, you could admit she was hot. she was your lesbian awakening, if you were 100% honest. but since she didn't like you, you suppressed all feelings.

"someone got dressed up," she teases, looking you up and down. "this is just how i dress," you say, rolling your eyes. "come in."

an hour later, you and abby are sitting on your couch, going over flashcards for the test. abby has her information down, of course- you keep missing the same two vocab words.

"you dumbass," she laughs, watching you pout over missing the same word for the 4th time in a row.

"this is so annoying," you say, burying your head in your hands. the frustration you feel is so intense, you feel tears well up in your eyes. you attempt to hide it as abby continues to laugh, but a sniffle gives you away.

"are you- there's no way you're crying right now," abby says, genuine disbelief in her voice. "don't be a crybaby, bun. you can get it."

bun.. ?? what the hell? she's being... nice? no fucking way.

you lift your head, tears running down your face, messing up your makeup as you wipe your face with your hands. abby analyzes your face before sitting back on the couch. she pats her thigh, "c'mere, let me help."

okay, this has to be a dream.

you hesitantly get off your side of the couch and sit on her lap. almost immediately, you feel the warmth radiating off her body, making you shiver a bit. she chuckles lightly, "what, are you scared or somethin'? just trying to help you since you clearly need it." you're still wiping your face, too busy to rebuttal.

she begins to explain. "so, these two are similar, but they aren't the same thing. y'know why? because this one.."

all you can focus on is the amount of contact you two have right now: her right hand slightly touching your inner thigh. her abs resting against your back. her voice, soothing and calming, in your ears. the scent of pine and clean laundry filling your nose. you knew it was wrong, but fuck, you were wet. there was probably a puddle under you by now.

"uh, y/n? you there?"

you snap out of your slutty daze, realizing you're supposed to be listening. "mm, what? can you explain that, uh, again, please?"

she laughs, putting the cards on the coffee table in front of you two. "i'm sitting right here, trying to teach you and you still can't focus that pretty little head on this? god, what am i gonna do with you?"

you turn slightly, face to face with abby. her piercing blue eyes study yours, searching for something. you don't know what comes over you, but you completely turn to face her, move your hands to the sides of her face, and kiss her.

she immediately kisses back, hands finding comfort on the top of your hips. she falls back on the couch, lips still connected as you straddle her lap. you can feel the passion, intent with every kiss you give her. her strong hands push your hips onto hers, grinding through her sweats. a soft moan leaves your lips, giving her the opportunity to insert her tongue into your mouth and deepen the kiss.

you pull back, catching your breath as abby continues to make your hips roll onto hers. "you know how long- hah- i've wanted to do this to you?" she breathes, eyes moving from where you two meet to your flustered face.

you look at her, eyes wide. ".. what?"

"i've wanted to kiss you for forever. wanted to have you close like this. wanted to fuck you. everything." shes now completely focused of your face, trying to read your expression.

"i thought you hated me." you're so confused, you don't know whether to cry, smile, get angry, or whatever.

"fuck- i didn't mean to, i'm sorry," she's desperate, her hands moving to your cheeks to bring you back to her face. "let me make it up to you, yeah?"

after a while, she moves her hand to cup your throbbing cunt, earning a whimper from you. "you're so fucking wet, shit," she hisses, feeling the wet spot on your cotton pink shorts. "who's this for? hm?"

the embarrassment takes over you, making you pitifully whimper as you cover your face. she's quick to swat your hand away and ask in a more demanding voice, "who made you this wet, baby?"

"y-you," you manage to choke out, subconsciously grinding into her hand. she smirks, "good girl."

the praise catches you by surprise, not to mention the way her palm accidentally catches your clothed clit. a soft moan leaves your mouth, feeding into the power dynamic between you two. "oh, you like that name, huh?" she whispers, keeping eye contact with you as she rubs your clothed cunt. "you wanna be my good girl?"

"yes, oh my god-" you're chasing your high, overwhelmed by all the feelings you feel. she hums in response, clearly satisfied by your state. she moves a hand to your face, inserting a thumb into your mouth. you suck on her thumb, moaning around it as your hips stutter against her palm. "you gonna cum f'me, bun?" she coos, not slowing down at all. all you can do is nod, too caught up in the knots forming in your abdomen. "go ahead, pretty girl. cum for mommy."

the name pushes you over the edge, making you clench around nothing in your shorts. abby still has her hand over your cunt, feeling the wet spot grow as you pitifully moan. she talks you through your orgasm, mostly praising you for how good you are to her.

as you catch your breath, she removes her thumb from your mouth and peppers small kisses across your cheeks, releasing small praise in between. once you come to your senses, she's still under you, chuckling at your fucked out state. she mutters something along the lines of 'you're so cute' before you start to giggle with her.

you accidentally grind against her while laughing, making abby whine. you immediately realize you haven't helped her at all, making you guilty. you reach a hand down to her heat, feeling her warm cunt under her sweats. she hisses, hips bucking up onto your fingers. you get up and stand in front of her.

"sit up," you say, catching abby by surprise. she hesitantly sits up, looking suspiciously at you. "what for?" she questions, side eyeing you. you chuckle as you kneel in front of her, placing hands on her strong thighs. you reach a hand up to the band of her bottoms, signaling for them to come off. "m' gonna help you."

if her boxers weren't already soaked, they definitely were now. her face heats up as she shyly takes off her sweats, leaving her in just her wifebeater and undergarments. she puts her knees up to her chest, looking away as you assess the wet patch on her boxers.

"i make you this wet, abs?" you say quietly, pointer finger tracing her slit. she slightly gasps at the contact, slightly nodding to answer your question. "use your words. i know you can do it."

"you do, clearly. you've made me this horny for you for years, so yeah." she's being a brat, acting like she's in charge! you give her cunt a small slap, a small surprised moan leaving her lips.

"act like a brat, get treated like one." she stares at you, surprised that you went from such a submissive state to a dominant persona. you tease her, feeling her sensitive bud through her boxers. she whimpers, gripping onto the couch for any stability. "i think it's about time we get these off," you pull at the top of her boxers, "don't you think?"

she immediately gets up and takes them off, sitting back on the couch. she sits and moves her hips to the edge of the couch to reveal her cunt, glistening with slick. you study her sopping cunt, making her nervous under your gaze. "not so cocky now, hm?" you tease, making her face heat up as she huffs and puffs.

"please t-touch me," she almost whispers, barely able to be heard. you could've let up from here, but you don't.

"what was that? i'm gonna need you to be a bit louder, babe."

she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, swallowing her pride. "please touch me," she musters out.

she was such a pretty site to see, how could you possibly deny her? "okay, baby."

you spread her lips apart, revealing her swollen, sensitive clit. she shudders, cold air meeting her core. she's not sure what to expect until you dip your head down and place a flat tongue on her heat, making her gasp.

her reaction makes you smile; you quickly latch onto her clit and suck, still watching her reaction. she throws her head back, moaning loudly.

"oh, you like that," you say, quickly going back to placing kitten licks onto her cunt. she's overwhelmed with pleasure, loud moans and groans leaving her mouth. when you decide to insert your middle finger into her heat, she's going over the edge, babbling your name and please's. her hand comes down and grips the back of your head, pushing your face deeper into her pussy.

her sounds get you wet all over again, making you moan into her pussy. "s-shit, m' cumming- oh, fuck," she cries, gripping your hair and pulling you closer than ever to her as her heat clenches around your finger. tears are streaming down her face as you continue to lap up her juices. after she catches her breath, you pull her into a sloppy kiss, sharing her fluids in between you two.

"shit," she breathes, pulling away from the kiss, "i'm gonna have to fuck you harder next time."

"next time? oh, we're already making dates?"

"yeah, we're gonna have multiple assignments like this later."

you both laugh and get cleaned up before cuddling on your couch and sleeping in each others arms. :,)

taglist [if you're striked out, i can't tag you!!]: @ellabsweet @digit4lslut @macaroni676 @mostlyhornyandsad @yorlenybaires @Pigwideon

[beefboyandbabygirl]

this is my first (1st!!) ever request so im sorry if im not clear or if anything is too vague.. </3 just had a thought about virgin!svt member (any one of your choice) x experienced but shy reader?? like they usually tease each other like crazy and reader is kind of cocky and all bratty (basically all talk) but when it comes to actual sex they're unexpectedly crazy shy and the member just 😞😞 cant get enough... im just curious about how you'd write the dynamic :) it can be vice versa as well! feel free to write about whoever comes to mind when you read this!

- anon 🐱❤️

oh my gooood im so honored to be ur first request hihi <3 i hope u like it!!

Show me how

⊱ ━━━━.⋅ εïз ⋅.━━━━ ⊰

pairing: seungkwan x fem!reader

genre: smut, first time, fluffish

warnings: unprotected sex, handjob, mentions of oral, kissing, mentions of making out, veryyyy slight degredation, mentions of restraint, mentions of masturbation

beefboy quotes: "kitten wants seungkwans cock🤧" (im sorry for including this but it made me laugh) "IM WET".

wordcount: 1k

a/n: phew this was a difficult one. im practising writing more detailed smut and do a little less plot lmao. beefboy says its working so im going to trust i did okay haha.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why this is happening right now.” 

What you had told Seungkwan was true. You were fairly experienced when it came to sex. However, experienced didn’t exactly equate to confident, even though you might have given him that idea. And it wasn’t on purpose. It wasn’t like you had tried to fool him, or pretend you were something you weren’t. All the dirty secrets whispered to make him blush, the not-so-accidental brushes of your ass over his crotch or fingers over his chest, were done out of pure love and adoration. You liked to tease him, and he absolutely loved when you teased him. 

You just wanted his first time to be special, and now you were afraid it was all ruined. 

“No, why are you apologizing? You’re doing great.”

He was laid out beneath you, already all sweaty and glowy from the heavy makeout session that had prompted the current situation. A large hand gently came in touch with one of the thighs straddling his torso, silently saying it’s okay, we’re okay. And his pupils were all blown out, and the room was dimly lit and humid. It was beautiful and perfect. He was perfect, and you were ruining it. 

It all felt completely upside down to you. That he was giving the reassuring words and the calming touches when he was supposed to be the nervous one. He didn’t look nervous at all. He sported that confident smile, the inquiring tilt of his head and he was shirtless underneath your bare thighs. 

“I just feel like I've let you down. Like I made you expect all these things for tonight, that I was supposed to be all dominating, and sexy and what not-”

“Babe, you’re literally so fucking sexy.” 

“Oh yeah, suddenly having a mental breakdown in the middle of your boyfriend's first time. So sexy of me.”

Without replying he grabbed you by the hips, giving them a gentle squeeze and locking eyes with you for permission. Your ‘yes’ was barely a whisper. Slowly, he shuffled you further down his body, so you were positioned over his cock. His hard cock. Really hard and also, really big. Not that you were surprised. 

“You feel that?” 

None of you were even moving, not even the slightest, and yet sparks of pleasure were rushing through you. He could probably feel the wetness soaking through your panties and onto the fabric covering his hard dick, but for the first time that night, you didn’t care. You didn’t care that you were nervous, you didn’t feel like you had a single expectation to live up to or promise to fulfill. He was hard, and you had barely done anything, which made you both incredibly relieved and wet. 

“M-mhm…”

When he noticed how your shoulders suddenly dropped and your jaw unclenched, he too felt all his muscles loosen up and a held back sigh escaped him. 

“You did that baby, made me so hard. Because you’re so sexy, and beautiful and hot-”

“Okay okay, I get it.” Your attempt at shutting him up was to lean down for a kiss, but he just continued to ramble and mumble onto your lips, and you realized you shouldn’t keep him waiting much longer. 

“Can I take these off?” You asked, your voice quiet as it spilled onto his lips while your fingers hooked onto the waistband of his boxers. 

“Yes, f-fuck, please.”

Before you could even have the chance though, he was ripping them off himself, so you instead took the opportunity to take your panties off, leaving you both fully naked.

“How- How do you want me?”

His question barely registered with you as his dick entered your line of sight. You had seen each other naked a few times, sure, but only for short moments while changing clothes or walking in on the other showering. Now his dick was so up close you could see every vein, every drop of precum leaking down his shaft, and you hadn’t even noticed you were practically laying on your stomach, crosseyed and nearly drooling at the sight. 

“Don’t look at it like that.” 

His voice snapped you out of your cockdrunk trance and you somehow managed to tear your eyes away from his cock. 

“I’m just admiring it.”

“Yeah, I can tell, but please don’t look at it like that for much longer, or I’ll actually cum untouched.”

You giggled lowly before crawling further up his body again. Your noses were touching and his heavy breaths tickled your lips as your hand dragged over his nipples, down his abs until it reached his cock. 

“That’d be so hot”, you whispered. Your boyfriend let out a breathy whimper in return, one you so badly wanted to hear again, so you wrapped your fingers tightly around his cock, squeezing until he was throbbing so hard you could have been convinced it was his heartbeat going straight into his dick. 

“You like the sound of that? I could touch myself in front of you, have you tied to the bed so you can’t touch me yourself, see how long you’ll last…”

He was already close. Embarrassingly close, but what was he supposed to do? For weeks before you asked him out he would simply think of something gross, like Vernons three week old laundry or the floor in the subway, whenever he accidentally popped a boner around you. But now, that was actually impossible. He couldn’t think, couldn’t see, couldn’t feel anything but you everywhere, in every corner of his mind. 

“Please, I’m so close…” The way your hand alternated between squeezing him at the base and going up and down in a fast motion, was making him dizzy. 

“I know, I know. You’ll get what you want”, your hand let go of his cock, as you resumed your position from a few moments ago, straddling him, but now with no layers of fabric between you. Your pussy radiated actual heat, and occasionally a drop of your wetness would fall onto his abs and trickle down towards his v-line, and if he didn’t get your pussy around him now he would probably faint. 

“Remind me what it is you want again?” 

This wasn’t your usual teasing. Even though your words were bratty as always, they were now laced with something different, something loving. You were smiling adoringly and your eyes were sparkling, and even though you were being so cruel, you were still so doting. 

“I Want…Want your pussy. Need it.”

You rewarded his answer with a quick kiss, before lining your entrance up with his cock and sinking down slowly. Seungkwans facial expression twisted into one of pleasure and he was muttering profanities into the air. 

“Feel okay?”

He felt more than okay. He had never felt better, but if you began to move even a single inch, he would cum, and he didn’t wanna be that guy. 

“Yeah- Yeah I’m fine just, fuck, give me a second…”

“Hm? But I thought this was what you wanted?”

Seungkwan knew you weren’t actually denying his request. You weren’t moving, and you wouldn’t unless he wanted you to. You were testing him. You had a goal, and once you went for something, there was no way Seungkwan could convince you otherwise. 

“I do! I do, I just don’t wanna-”

“But I do.” 

Your hips began to swivel back and forth on top of him. The subtle movement would have been barely noticeable had he not been so sensitive. 

“You can cum Seungkwan, it’s okay. I want it.”

When he didn’t argue further, when he looked at you with pleading eyes, you kept going, escalating the speed of your hips more and more, until your boyfriend was a wonderful mess underneath you, writhing and moaning desperately. 

“Cum for me, Seungkwan.”

Your words were the last tug pulling at the knot in his stomach. He was releasing inside of you, coating your walls in white and tensing every muscle in his body. It was only after the fact he got to see it, his eyes struggling to open from how tight they were shut, and once they landed on his cum dripping down your plush thighs onto his stomach it was as if the high just kept running through him. 

“Should I- Can I try to eat you out? Can you show me how?”

You hadn’t had expectations of cumming tonight. This was about him. That being said, you were hardly surprised that he wanted to return the favor, selfless as always.  

Your mind wandered to just a few moments ago, when you were so worried about ruining this moment. About making him uncomfortable, or doing something wrong, or not living up to his expectations. Now you were realizing that this hadn’t been about expectations at all. It had been about trust. Seungkwan trusted you enough to be his first. To show him how. 

And there was nothing more sexy than being trusted.

[writing-havoc]

could you do Tolya Yul-Bataar x fem!reader

you were going to gala, you felt bit nervous as you walks around and you bump to someone and it was Tolya, he hold your waist to be careful, you apologize, you two look each other, he asked to take you for walk, you two talk about his homeland, you really like to know him more *fluffiness*

(hope you will write it, thanks and have a good day)

The Gala

♡ Summary: Tolya catches you before you fall at a gala, and offers to take you on a walk to calm your nerves. You find he's a rather interesting man.

♡ Pairing: Tolya Yul-Bataar x Fem!Reader (ambiguous, please read indented)

♡ Fandom: King of Scars, Grishaverse

♡ Warning(s): None

♡ WC: 2.1k

Hello!! Thank you for your request!

I wrote this one ambiguous on purpose. It could either be taken romantically or platonically. I personally think Tolya is aromantic due to a line he says in the KoS series, but I know other people don't take it that way. So feel free to take this however you wish <3

Hope you enjoy it and that you have a good day as well!!

Please excuse any grammar and spelling mistakes

∘₊✧──────────────────✧₊∘

To make a long story short, you feel incredibly grateful and attractive. Which is perfect to mask the sheer anxiety you feel.

King Nikolai was in attendance at this gala. And while you had no intention of meeting him, fate could have other plans for you.

It could send you tripping over your own silk gown and into him, his guards mistaking you for an assailant and killing you on the spot. You could make someone else bump into him, throwing the imported wine all over his first army garb. Hell, he could even choose to make conversation with you, to which you'd embarrass yourself by rambling about the intricacies of jewelry making and metalsmithing.

Saints, you need to calm down.

If you're not mistaken, there's a table around here with finger foods and drinks that could help.

The crowd, however, is incredibly unforgiving. People remain where they stand, almost as if they're completely unaware you're trying to make it last them. You put hands on shoulders and backs, apologize when you have to tilt your body to squeeze between groups of people, and all you get are glares and judgemental up-and-down looks.

People really need to be kinder, more considerate. They're not the only people that exist in this room. How are the servers supposed to go around and serve the alcohol? What if there was an emergency? Is it really that hard to consider moving one step to the left?

Your annoyance makes you distracted. You step on someone's shoe, throwing you completely off balance and sending you falling to the floor.

The only thing that could make this more humiliating is falling into someone. Which you do.

You feel yourself flush, embarrassment rushing through your brain as you try and correct yourself.

"Oh saints, please forgive me!" It takes a moment to realize just how big the man who caught you was. His arms are rather large, but he's also just plain tall. He easily stands a good couple centimeters above every person in this room. "I really have to be more careful."

You realize now he's one of the Kings guards, but its more or less irrelevant seeing as he's so far away from said King. The stoic look on his face cracks a little, a small smile forming on his angled face.

"It's alright, It's only right I apologize as well. Forgive me for bumping into you." He slips his arm away from your waist once you get yourself balanced within your heels. "You aren't hurt, are you?"

You fix the gloves around your wrists. "Oh, no. Not at all. For as big as you are you're incredibly gentle."

"That's good to hear."

It takes you a moment to realize the words that slipped past your tongue. Mortification pummels through your system.

"I didnt mean- im so sorry once again. That wasnt the best choice of words."

This is just so wrong. This isn't how anything was supposed to go. And now you feel so hot, face even prickling at the increase in your internal temperature. The man eyes you, squinting when you begin to fan yourself.

"Truly, I dont take offense. Would you like to go on a walk? Its much cooler outside."

It's definitely not a smart to follow a man you just met to a secondary location. But with the way he's dressed, and the way he carries himself, he isn't all that threatening. The Soldat Sol tattoo on his arms also does well to quell any lasting fears.

"That would be lovely, thank you."

He walks through the crowd with you trailing very close behind. People part to make room for him, and make a look of disdain when they see you trailing behind like a duckling.

But the moment that fresh cool evening air reaches your skin, it feels worth it. Like you can breathe.

You allow yourself to walk to the edge of the wrap around patio that surrounds this whole place. The garden has plants beginning to close, no longer needing to open their petals now that the sun is setting.

The flowers are red, and butterflies are making their last rounds to the buds that are still open.

"There's a flower, in Shu Han, that looks similar to this." He takes a step off the porch and approaches the flower.

He's incredibly gentle, fingertips barely grazing the petals and slotting the stem between his fingers. He encourages it up towards his face as he bends down to smell it, a smile adorning this face.

"What's it called?" You ask, picking up your dress and stepping down to join him.

"The one in Shu Han is called Datura Meloxia. It's incredibly poisonous. This one... I'm not sure."

You hook a finger around one of the stems, bringing it toward you.

It seems tropical, which is strange given that summers aren't all that hot here and Ravka has a winter season. The stigma reaches far out beyond the confines of the petals, and almost seems to have a cloud of surrounding the end.

"Do you know a lot about Shu Han?" You ask.

He let's out a chortle. "I should hope so. It's where I grew up."

"Listen, people are everywhere these days. I didn't want to assume you knew everything about there just because you look like you're from there."

"Thats very open minded of you."

You shrug. "Doesnt do us any good to be close minded, does it?"

He let's go of the flower, putting his hands back behind his back. "No. It doesn't."

The air feels a bit tense, weighing on your shoulders. The way he keeps his eyes trained on the flowers makes you feel as if you may have made him uncomfortable.

"Do you know anything about Shu Han you specifically enjoy?"

If there's anything you know about people, is that broad questions are usually the way to go. From there they can get as specific as they want or stay broad.

"Poetry." He says, going specific. "Epic Poetry, specifically. There's quite a few poems from both Ravka and Shu that are quite interesting."

That, ironically, piques your interest. "Like what?"

And it's like you opened up a dam, water spilling out in the form of languages you don't understand but find incredibly alluring. He's like an encyclopedia, citing poems that date back hundreds of years and reciting the lines as of he has the material right in front of him.

In a way you think he does. His eyes will get glossy and it's almost like he's turning the page when he talks with his hands, staring far into the distance at something you can only hope to see.

He does his best to translate the text, but you can tell it pains him that there isn't a direct translation that will allow you to appreciate the beauty of the poem.

But he does his best all the same, and you give as much encouragement as possible, smiling wide when he says something particularly grand. He even cites romance every once in a while, and you feel yourself cataloging the lines to digest later.

Because it really was interesting. You've thought about poetry maybe three, four times in your entire life when your mom brought home a book filled with them for her entertainment. But never did you think it could be this interesting.

Or maybe it's just because he makes it interesting, adding bits of history from both Ravka and Shu Han when he can.

It's also nice to see his face light up just a smidgen when you express your own knowledge, telling him you do actually know about that piece of history and jump into your own session of info dumping.

But as all good things do, they come to an end.

He's in the middle of explaining a poem from liturgical Ravkan (who /knows/ that?) when he becomes distracted.

"Everything alright?" You ask, raising on your toes but staying off the side as you try and capture his attention again.

"I'm fine, yes. However, it's time for us to part ways."

When he looks at you, you swear you see his lips turn down just a bit.

"Ah." You don't bother to hide your sadness. "That's alright. Would you like to pick this up a different day?"

He hums. "Only if you live near the Palace."

"Actually, I do." That gets his attention again. "I work at this little shop in the city just outside the gates in Os Alta in the market area. Its-"

"The bookbinding shop." He interrupts. "I remember now. I see you almost everytime I walk by there with the King."

You smile, wide and feeling better than before. "Yeah. We make journals and restore books."

He's silent for a moment, eyes flickering back and forth between you and whatever has his attention.

When his eyes settle on you, he's kind. Which isn't saying a lot since during this entire interaction he has been nothing but, but still. He's kind. "When I have a moment to spare, I will visit you again."

You clap your hands together, then hold your hand out for him to take. "Ill see you then."

His rough and warm hand shakes your own. And with a nod, he's gone.

You watch him leave, walking briskly past hoards of people who part for him like he's dangerous or purposefully bump into him.

Once he's out of eyesight, you allow yourself to calm your heart.

It's mostly leftover anxiety from before he caught you. When you look at the shadows on the ground you realize you and him hadn't actually talked for that long. You just don't want to make a lasting horrible impression on anyone, and you hope you didn't make him feel awkward talking with you.

But, you think he enjoyed it. He relaxed a little while talking to you, yet still kept to his duty as the Kings guard and never looked away from the mansion.

You feel satisfied.

"Hello there."

A woman's voice gets your attention. She looks similar to Tolya, and you remember she's also a part of the Kings personal guard. Perhaps they're taking turns? That would make sense.

"Hello. How are you?" You ask.

"Splendid. My names Tamar." She wraps an arm around your shoulder, which you immediately grab to steady yourself. "Im Tolya's older sister. I just wanted to take a look at the girl thats got my brother in such a good mood."

You perk up immediately. "Oh, how lovely! Tolya mentioned you a few times while he was talking about poetry."

Immediately she groans, which gets a giggle out of you. "I beg your forgiveness. Once he starts you have to kind of yell at him to get him to stop."

"Oh, don't apologize!" You slip out of her grasp, folding your hands neatly in front of you. "I quite enjoyed our talk. I never knew how much history could be stored in something as simple as a poem."

Her eyebrows nearly shoot into her hair, a look almost like incredulousness passes over her face. She snorts.

"You may just be the only person who can handle that."

That, you have to admit, makes you happy.

"What else are you interested in?"

Tamar was a little harder to talk to for the rest of the night. She's not as straight forward as her brother, but you can find the little similarities that make her feel almost familiar.

Once you have to part ways, the King possibly getting what he came here for, you waved goodbye to Tamar, and began to head to your carriage yourself.

Tonight was remarkably eventful. And as you watch Tolya and Tamar head off into the distance with their King in tow, you hoped that every once in a while they would stop by.

If only to get to know them more.

∘₊✧──────────────────✧₊∘

Tags:

@xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @kylie18 @morrigan-crowmwell @venomsvl @milkshake0

[moodywyrm]

K sorry ignore me I’m streaming my entire consciousness for you here moons

Ellie, on the other hand, (walking in on the same scenario), it’s not that she doesn’t care (the opposite!!) it’s just she’s so painfully awkward, she doesn’t know how to handle it almost? Obviously the longer you’re together, the better she gets as she learns what you need, but she’d frown and walk over, gently stroking your hair with a soft “hey babe” that one scene with Dina nobody talk to me and would immediately crawl into bed with you. If you start crying she’d probably tease you (lovingly) and be all “aw my girl’s so soft hm? My little crybaby. That’s it, let it all out”:( and if you’re extra moody, whereas I can see Abby more just ignoring this or giving you a gentle “come on babe don’t be like that”, ellie would laugh. She think you look extra cute when you’re all >:/ she just can’t help but pinch your cheeks with a big grin or ruffle your hair or something. I think there would be a bit of a learning curve if you’re a little extra sensitive, maybe one of her usual silly jests would send you into a puddle of tears, and she’s like ??? cause usually you’d laugh and give it right back to her, so she has to learn to be a little extra gentle with you. That being said, she’d do just about anything to make you laugh, a light “there’s my smiley girl” when she finally coaxes a giggle out of you I’m crying

in the wise wise words of jj, the ppl who are crybabies on their period please rise.

it's me, im the crybaby on my period. Ellie with a gf who is just extra teary n sensitive on her period is so cute to think about. because she is so fucking awkward!! I love Ellie so so much but baby is incredibly awkward when it comes to handling emotions, even her crying girlfriend.

she's such a sweetheart though :(

she’d frown and walk over, gently stroking your hair with a soft “hey babe” that one scene with Dina nobody talk to me and would immediately crawl into bed with you.

she would!!! that little "hey babe" lives in my head rent free, it's so sweet and gentle and soooo Ellie. gonna make this a modern au bc I honestly do not want to write a period during the apocalypse rn.

somehow it always happens that Ellie is working or in class when your cramps hit :( she gets your first text telling her you got cramps like midway through her shift and she's so upset that she can't just go home and comfort you then and there. you update her when you're not incapacitated by pain or asleep, but it's hours before she can get home.

on her way home she drops by the store to pick up your favorite snacks and comfort items, literally approaches this trip with militant efficiency. get in get out, and she does!

when she gets home she's immediately in the bedroom, throwing off her jackets and shoes and sitting next to you at the edge the bed. literally just sitting there, going "hey babe" and stroking your hair, pressing a kiss to your forehead before helping you up to the bathroom.

bc of course she does my favorite period trope: helping your partner into the shower! I feel like you two wouldn't actually shower together during your periods, but she'd sit there while you shower and you'd sit there while she showers. or, alternatively, you'd wash off first and then Ellie would join you. not because I think she's afraid of blood or anything, but she wants you to be as comfortable as possible, and that includes not having to deal with the mental ahhh of getting blood on your partner. anyways yall get nice and clean and she proceeds to help you get dressed, putting lotion on you and otherwise taking care of you.

she holds your lower tummy for the rest of the night, massaging it in a way that feels heavenly <3 she's honestly so cute and sweet im >:(

as for the rest of your period, she 100% does some gentle teasing, calling you her little crybaby while also doing pretty much everything for you. suddenly she's a fucking Chef, cooking you all of your comfort food and/or picking up the Good Shit (burgers) from Joel's place. she may be a lil meanie about it, but she's also unbelievably caring during your period <3

[animeomegas]

I can't stop thinking about proposing to baxter auauauau. i absolutely love the idea of the MC slowly guiding baxter through the different pitstops in memory lane before leading up to the proposal and it makes it all the more intimate. I honestly love how their relationship or bond begun when the MC went to that soiree with their moms at the very beginning and where they also danced with baxter the first time and now, they're entering the next big step in their relationship with a dance (at their wedding). But i also wanna talk about the process of baxter planning the wedding. we all know he puts pressure on himself to be perfect and ik that he'd also be pressured to make the wedding as perfect as possible bc of his fear of disappointment. and im imagining a scenario where the MC just holds him in bed, arms wrapped around his waist and head buried in his neck just so that they could stop him from organizing more stuff for their wedding. also, do you think he'd be the type to arrange Pinterest boards and show it to you for approval? asdfghfjs he's so adorable im sorry for the ramble

Yessss, Baxter deserves to be wined and dined and forced down memory lane on his proposal day hehe.

Although, I have to admit that I'd definitely consider going back to that cabin for a long weekend to propose. I'd probably do it by the fireplace really late at night, devoid of guests. I'd lowkey request the staff don't linger behind the reception just for the ten minutes of the proposal, because firstly it would be awkward, and secondly, I would hope a manager would hear and give a complimentary dessert :D I'm a massive sap so I'd probably try to get one of the same rooms, even if they all look the same.

I think you're very right that he'd over focus on MC's wishes for the wedding, although I think Baxter has a long list of (primarily tacky) things he hates at weddings so if MC hit one of those, he'd probably make a face before he could stop himself XD

I don't think he's a Pinterest board person, no. I think he would see no merit in finding ideas from Pinterest if he can't find a way to make it happen in reality. Therefore, he has a bookmark folder of folders, filled with links to local services or tutorials on wedding stuff. He values the practicality as much as the vibes.

I think he's very familiar with Pinterest though, I'm sure more than one of the couples he's planned for had one. I used to work primarily at weddings too, and let me tell you, almost every single couple would say "we want something a little different" and the 'something different' was something they got off of Pinterest, a.k.a. something everyone else had seen. This led to hundreds of almost identical weddings... I'm sure if Baxter is anything like me, he's sick of Pinterest wedding ideas XD

This was a very cute ask, anon, thank you for sending it and feel free to ramble in my inbox anytime you'd like! <3

[calehenituse-brainrot]

Hiya! Just wanted to say that I absolutely love how you write! Also, can I request a Cale/Reader where the reader is his childhood friend? (If you're too busy, please feel free to ignore this!) :D

am digging thru my inbox and found this and was struck with an idea

okay babe, this was done in the middle of the night so it might suck because i genuinely forgot where i was going

the ask is pretty vague so im doing a KRS!Cale x Reader x OG!Cale

i hope you're not too upset with me changing a few things 😔🥺

That man is not your Cale.

You watched the person that simultaneously looks like your Cale and yet nothing like him with cautious eyes.

Why is there no one pointing out how different he was acting?

Had you gone crazy?

"[Name]?"

'Even his voice sounds exactly the same,' you thought, a chill running up your spine. His voice sounds exactly the same and yet it was different.

Cale had never called for you like that so nonchalantly.

No matter how much alcohol he had taken or tired he is from acting like a lout, he had never called for you that. His voice had always been warm when he talks to you and the reason why you were able to point that out was because you were the only living person with that privilege to hear it.

"C-Cale?" You called for him nervously. "Did something happen?"

Cale's one red eyebrow raised in confusion. "I don't think so, no."

He stared at you, trying to think what you were thinking. You were not mentioned at all in all of The Birth of A Hero series and to think that this trash son of a count was able to have a close friend was surprising. What's even more surprising was the fact that said close friend was you, the child of an artisan who worked underneath Countess Violan.

Apparently, the trash son and you were close enough to the point you're allowed in his room whenever he decides to be docile for the day.

It had been only a few days ever since he possessed the body of Cale Henituse and had been spending the last few days searching for more information regarding Cale Henituse that might not be mentioned in the first volume of the book.

You had apparently left the county for a few days to buy new tools for your father since he had just done a commission for the Countess. When you came back, Cale had gathered enough information to make sure you wouldn't see through him.

"Y-You just seem really quiet," you added quietly, sitting across him with both hands on your lap anxiously.

You feel like you are talking to a stranger.

And you know you are,

Because that man is not your Cale.

"Do you want me to cause a ruckus then?" Cale questioned and you glanced up at him.

'That's something Cale would say,' you both thought.

Usually, when he says something like that, you'd always challenge him to actually cause a ruckus and he'd never act upon it because he knows if you were to be with him while he's acting like a lout, you'd get even more swept up into rumors than you already do.

"Then do it."

Cale looked at your expression, able to see your shaking eyes and the way your jaw moved as if you were biting on the insides of your cheeks. You were agitated, but why? You had just urged him to cause a ruckus with such a nervous expression that Cale began to think something must have gone wrong.

"Do it," you pressed. "Cause a ruckus."

Cale stayed quiet. What the hell?

He knew you were a bit weird since you were friends with the original Cale Henituse but to think you were gonna press him into causing a ruckus?

'Don't tell me the problem isn't Cale Henituse but [Name] who's the one been urging him to do those acts,' Cale thought to himself with a small frown.

You suddenly stood up from your spot as if the seat had burned you. You stared at him for a moment, still agitated and glancing at the door several times. It was clear you wanted to leave and Cale would not take that privilege from you — he'd actually gladly give it to you.

"Nevermind that," you told him hurriedly before he can say anything else. "I'll be on my way back to help my father with his next work. I'll talk to you soon, Ca-I mean, Young Master Cale-nim."

You bowed to him and immediately hurried to leave, eager to get out and escape from being alone with a man you did not recognize.

Cale watched you leave, his heart nearly jumping up to his throat when he saw how you had looked back at him when you were going to close the door.

'There's no doubt about it,' he thought.

You knew.

Cale was convinced you had figured out something was wrong - how you found out within one meeting with him was impressive, he had to admit that. He had underestimated how close you were with the original Cale Henituse and didn't think you'd be able to immediately see through him. He'd thought you'd be at least be relieved that he was no longer causing trouble here and there, like the other rest of the family and staff.

'To think they're that sharp,' he thought with a frustrated frown. 'They must've noticed something was wrong. I must've acted wrong.'

When you didn't turn up for the next few days and was openly avoiding him to the point the Countess herself had asked if something went wrong, Cale knew he had to do something.

It'd be bad news for him if you go around tattling to others about what you were suspecting - whatever it was in your head. Either way, it's bad news to him because he'd have to deal with the questions he's not even sure he's capable of answering.

"What the hell," Cale mumbled as he stood in front of his windows, watching you talking animatedly with a bunch of maids near the garden.

As if able to feel his gaze, you looked up and made eye contact with him. Both of you flinched in surprise and Cale sees how you immediately averted your gaze and said something to the maids, quickly ending the conversation with them and then running away from his line of sight.

A knock was heard from the other side of his door and a slightly strained voice called out, "Young Master Cale-nim, it's Ron."

'Dammit,' Cale thought. 'One problem after the other, please.'

"Come in," Cale answered, turning around to face the former-assassin-turned-butler who had entered his room without making a sound. 'What a scary old man.'

"Young Master Cale-nim, you seem upset," Ron pointed out with a benign smile. "Is it because of Miss [Name]?"

Cale raised an eyebrow. "What makes you think so?"

Ron's smile turned even scarier in Cale's eyes upon hearing his tone. "Well, it's clear that they're avoiding our Young Master-nim. Usually, you'd be together nearly all the time in the estate if their schedule allows them to do so."

Cale had severely underestimated how close and observant you were to the original Cale Henituse. If this continues, people would immediately catch on.

'I have to talk to them.'

So he asked for Ron to have you visit him when you can tonight, something that you surprisingly accepted. Ron stated that you seemed a bit rattled upon hearing that Cale wanted to meet, which was apparently odd for you because you always liked meeting him.

"Did something happen, Young Master-nim?' Ron had asked, his tone rather teasing than concerned.

'That's what I'm trying to know,' Cale had grumbled. Ron gives him a benign smile.

You did come when you were free, though it's during one of the times everyone was supposed to be resting, which was at night. You knocked on his door at around 10 PM and needed no answer from him to come in.

Cale who had been waiting for you -- for your information, he fought off his sleepiness just to wait for you to come -- turned to look at you. His eyes widened a bit when he saw that you were trembling a bit. And also...

Is that a small knife in your shaking grip?

"You're not Cale Henituse," you stated, voice shaking and obviously horrified at the sight of him. "You're an imposter."

"Put the knife down," Cale began slowly. One of your hands lets go of the knife, showing just how violently you were trembling while facing him. Your hand locks the door behind you before you turned to look at him again.

'They're bold,' he thought. 'And reckless.'

In your hand was a whittling knife that you always used to help your father add detailing and smooth out his work. It was small and meant to do little work despite how it's a general item to be used for woodworking, and you know it would do little damage, but this was the only thing you were capable of thinking to bring.

"You're just someone who looks like him," you say with a trembling voice. "You sound exactly like him, but you are not him."

Cale takes a step closer and you raised the little knife. "D-don't move!"

Cale stared at you, seeing how your face is pale and your whole body is trembling. He can see that even though you were trying your best to grip on that little whittling knife for dear life, your hands are shaking to the point you had to readjust your grip every second.

There were tears beginning to emerge in your eyes -- is it sadness over the realization that your friend is gone or is it out of fear because you do not know what could he do to you now that your friend is gone and you're all alone with him on a locked room?

You were bold and reckless, but you were smart and observant, he had to admit that.

You were able to see through him even though all you did was sit in silence and asked a couple of questions -- Cale wondered if that's all it needed for your to see that the original Cale Henituse had been gone. But how were you able to conclude that Cale Henituse is gone and that he is someone else?

"I am Cale Henituse," Cale said, taking another step closer to you. Your breath hitched a bit and you backed up to the door, still trying your very best to hold the knife up.

"N-no, you're not," you stammered. "Y-you're not him. I know him, and--"

"Why do you think so?" Cale asked again, taking another step closer.

Your back hits the wall and he can see in your eyes the moment you realized that you couldn't possibly stab him - not when he looks and sounds exactly like your beloved friend. It was cruel of him, but to ensure his safety, it needed to be done.

"H-he"--You choked up--"He's n-not supposed to be like this with me."

A tear fell down, and your whittling knife dropped to the ground. With a face full of sorrow, your [e/c] eyes finally met his russet ones. Your eyes were wet and bloodshot as you stare at him with such a crestfallen expression, "Y-You're not supposed to look at me with those eyes, Cale."

You slowly sink to the floor, covering your face as muffled sobs began to come out from your lips. Cale stared at the door, his usually nonchalant face succumbing into an appalled expression as he process your words.

Reality slapped him hard this time -- harder than it did when he woke up as Cale Henituse.

He forgets sometimes that even though this was just a fantasy action book written by someone from his world, this was an alternate universe that actually existed. Every single person here has a life and story that exists despite not being mentioned at all in those books.

You and the original Cale Henituse were not an exception.

The books may have shown that Cale Henituse was a lout from the Henituse family, but that was not all about Cale, isn't it?

The books never showed about Cale having a close relationship with a wood crafter's child and developing a relationship with them. The books doesn't talk about how Cale Henituse while a lout, could also be capable of compassion and loving others to the point he'd love someone despite the obvious status differences.

And what bothered Cale, no, Kim Rok Soo, was the fact that he so easily accepted that his soul now resides in Cale Henituse's body and did not think of what grief would be felt by people who truly do care for the original Cale Henituse.

"Cale"--You were now on the floor, almost like you were bowing to him as you gripped at the trousers of his pajamas in desperation--"Where's my Cale?"

"My Cale," you sobbed on the carpet of his bedroom. "Where is he?"

Cale bent down, placing his hands on your shoulders. "I'm sorry."

You shake your head, tears streaming down your face. "No, no! Don't say that! Give me back my Cale!"

Cale clenched his jaw as he thought about what should he say to you. He doesn't know where your Cale is and he couldn't even give you an explanation of how he got here. "I'm sorry."

"Stop saying sorry!" You nearly wailed. "Just give me back my Cale!"

"I don't know where he is," he says to you, gripping on your shoulder and forcing you to look at him. He sees your face, streaked with tears and he wonders what should he say. "Let's sit down and I'll explain this to you."

He helped you get back on your feet and walked over to the couch in his bedroom, sitting across from you as you were still sniffling, wiping away your tears.

Even while he explains his situation to you, he can see that you were still wary of him and even did not trust him. He told you about how he was a man from another world, falling asleep in his home and then waking up as Cale Henituse and he had been doing his best to adjust to this new life.

"Regarding Cale Henituse himself, I do not know anything," he told you. "I don't know where he is right now. Maybe he's possessing my body, maybe not."

"Is there no way he can return?" You asked with such a small voice that Cale could barely hear it had it not been a quiet night. "That my Cale can be back?"

That was how you had been addressing the original Cale Henituse all night. Your Cale. It was a bit of an odd thing to hear when he's been trying his best to adjust to the name 'Cale' himself but he wasn't going to comment it out loud.

"Again, I don't know," Cale answered.

He sees you take a deep breath, rubbing your face before letting your hands go through your hair. You looked to the side, blinking rapidly as new tears began to emerge in the corner of your eyes again. They quickly fell down to your cheeks and you began to speak in a shaky voice, "I-I can't see him again?"

Cale thought about Lee Soo Hyuk and Choi Jung Soo. He could always see them again by looking at the pictures they had forced him to take with them. He could always reminisce about the moments they had together, but he could never meet them again and he's already at peace with it.

He could understand how you feel.

The grief, the hurt of not being able to look at their eyes again, to see their smile, to be able to talk again to them.

He could understand how you were hurting.

"We never know," Cale answered. "He may come back, he may not."

You closed your eyes, tilting your head down as more tears fall to the carpet. "I see..."

Cale gives you some time to process through the whole thing -- it was the least he could do -- and waits for you to calm down, which was surprisingly a lot quicker than he predicted before he could properly ask you, "What was your relationship with him?"

"We were romantically involved since two years ago," you murmured. "I told him it was impossible but he convinced me."

Cale already predicted it, but it was still surprising to hear you say that. 'I guess that guy wasn't so bad if he has a significant other...'

"I won't demand anything from you as a partner," you quickly added. "Our relationship is a secret and you are not him, so I will not expect you to do anything."

Cale nodded. "Thank you, because I'm not interested."

You stared at him for a moment, an internal battle brewing up inside your heart and you nodded as a response. "Could you promise me something, though, stranger?"

Cale, no, Kim Rok Soo raised an eyebrow. "What is it?"

"Promise me that if there is ever a chance that you encounter him again, tell me about it."

Cale had thought about how your request didn't seem so hard - that even though there's a high possibility of that happening, he thought how it could possibly not happen because Cale Henituse is probably dead.

Maybe he could worry about that once he gets his slacker life.

It would have been so easy.

His life would go on so easily.

But, no, you had to know about his identity and learn more about him.

You were able to let him talk to you about himself longer than he had ever talked about himself to his subordinates. Your easy-going nature along with a slightly playful personality was so easy to work with and you were SO. GODDAMN. OBSERVANT.

He couldn't leave you be because of the guilt he still feels. You have always said that he wasn't in the wrong, that he did not have to feel guilty, but it's so hard to accept that. He's still struggling, but he could never leave you be and makes sure to always update you on whatever he's doing.

"I actually don't want to get closer to you at first, you know," you had said with a melancholic smile. "But I can't just leave you be, not when you're walking around with that face."

"Don't get it mixed up," he warned you.

You smiled at him, amused. "I won't."

"Also," you added, patting the lapel of his uniform in thought. "I'm glad to see Cale Henituse achieve something as admirable as this. Well, not him, but to see the image of him being like this makes me happy."

As he stood in front of you as you fixed the pin of the Henituse territory on his Commander uniform, he thought about how sickeningly sweet it was to have you do something as domestic as this.

"Thank you, for allowing me to see Cale like this."

His breath was taken away by the smile on your face when you uttered those words.

And then he was reminded that your smile is not reserved for him, but only for the original Cale Henituse. He knows that you still weep for the loss of your lover despite years have passed and you're always having an internal conflict whenever you look at him.

Sometimes he can see that you forget that your lover is gone, like when you instinctively cradled his cheek when he was upset, and the way you'd immediately apologize and leave made his heart beat faster, and yet they sink at the same time.

Curse you for knowing his boundaries.

He doesn't really know what he should call these emotions that have been brewing in his heart over the course of years after knowing you - they were pleasant and yet they hurt him to the point he'd curse himself for feeling them.

When he finally met the original Cale Henituse, now residing in his previous body as Kim Rok Soo, he waited for the man to mention you and when he never did, he decided to bring you up.

"Are you not going to ask anything about [Name]? They know about me being someone else."

Kim Rok Soo's face morphed from nonchalant to form a small melancholic smile. "How are they?"

"They're fine," Cale answered. "Before your regression, what happened to [Name]?"

"I married them, of course," Kim Rok Soo answered with a somber smile. "I loved them till the day they died."

Cale's breath got caught in his throat.

Oh.

"They died along with the rest of the family," Kim Rok Soo continued. "They were the love of my life and they made sure I didn't feel too alone. We have loved each other since we were young, long before we both even know what exactly loving someone else meant."

"Take care of them for me, won't you?"

Cale nodded, fist tightening. "I will."

Was it wrong to be so relieved of those words? Was it wrong to be relieved, knowing that you were officially being given the free will to make your choice? That you have been let go of by your former lover to do so?

That there might be a chance for him?

"I'll make sure to keep them safe," Cale said. "Not for you. But for their own sake and mine."

Kim Rok Soo's eyes widened a bit after hearing Cale's declaration. A satisfied smile began to bloom on his scarred face. "I see. You're going to be a lucky man, then."

"Tell them that I am happy where I am right now," Kim Rok Soo added. "I'm a bit saddened, but I will be with my mother from now on, so there's no need to grief over me because I am happy with the choice I make."

He had always thought about your request and always thought that it wouldn't be too hard, but how could he say that to you?

Either way, it's his responsibility so he should start thinking about it.

When he finally conveyed the news to you, giving a vague explanation about how the original Cale Henituse made a choice to be with his mother so as to not expose the issue with the God of Death, he had to listen to you wail, louder than when you realized your lover was gone all those years ago.

Perhaps you feel the same way as he does, perhaps not.

Cale knows he had to be patient and let you heal first, but he knows that at the end of the day, however long you'll take to move on, he'll always wait for you.

[sad-leon]

Hello! I hope you're having a good day!

So many people in my life seem to be going through something right now, and I just wanted to give you an opportunity to share anything you might be going through. Good or bad, as specific or as vague as you're comfortable with. Or feel free to ignore if you'd rather not. No pressure at all!

I hope things are going well for you! But if not, I'll be sending prayers your way if you're comfortable with that!

I am... not.

and i haven't for a long time

I'll preface this entire post with a warning: THIS IS A VENT POST the only tags will be trigger warnings

I thinks i've said it once or twice, but I started school this year. This is my first year in college after taking a gap year and also telling everyon i wasnt gonna go. I know jack shit about what im doing and its fucking exhausting. Theres so many things that i feel like I should know but dont because all the college information given out in my highschool was geared toward the college in that town specifically, which is not the college im going to.

I've also moved. im entirely on my own, physically and financially. I just met with my job and am starting very soon which is not good because my sleep schedule is all wrong. I may be switching jobs soon, but i can't just quit becuase, like i said, im on my own.

and those are only the big two. lets speedrun this. my anxiety, my autism, i need new glasses, my feet hurt more than i think they should, im a system, my eating disorder, my aversions that make it hard to drink the water up here, the burnout, the exhaustion, executive dysfunction, i also likely have adhd which mean rsd. im touch starved and touch adverse

those are just what i can think of off the top of my head

but all of this had been leading to what might be a pretty nasty breakdown and soon.

im so fucking tired all the time and that makes it hard to draw, but thats one of my only ways to relax. i like playing mc, but i get bored easily and also i cant sit at my desk for long becuase it feels like my head is too heavy for my neck. it hurts. everything hurts and my job doesnt help me at fucking all.

i was able to draw tsob while dealing with most of my issues becuase all i had to worry about was work. looking at my current schedule, i can find the free time. the issue is using that freetime to draw and not just sleep or dissociate. finding home is very dear to me, but drawing it the way i am can be exhausting and i dont want to start hating it, so i just.. dont draw it most days

i stress constantly about how i appear on my blog becuase i want so badly to do this right. i want to be good at something, like, as a person, not just as an artist. but i hate myself too much to believe in any progress i make.

i know its the rsd mostly but i see groups and i feel gross. its not as bed now (any of you beans that have made it this far, ily /p) becuase i found a community i can actually interact with, but it still comes up, especially because i've moved away from all my irl friends and its so fucking hard for me to make them in the first place. like.. actual friends, not just people i can work with at school

if i keep going i'll probably talk myself in circles, so ill stop it here. theres a lot more but im not going to ramble about my suicidal, intrusive, or sh thoughts on this blog. this is a post to inform you guys of the state of mind im in. im lonely and sad and its all building up to a massive breakdown.

im not going to be leaving tumblr or giving up on my comic, but i probalby wont update as often as i did tsob. i just dont have the energy.

i also will probably post some of my traditional art cuz i gotta fill up a sketchbook for my animation class, so that also takes away from the time i use to draw digitally.

im so tired

[fluffbeast7]

i found a fake art Channel that's an ARG :) its called ''Snowbird.Rogers''. This post will be about me diving in completely with what i found so far about the channel, if you want to explore it on your own, feel free to skip this!

Im pretty sure this channel is an ARG, the first vid has a weird scene at the end and the second one had all sort of recordings.

The banner has these weird numbers:

2438723490 2947034545 3542524545

and above "snowbrid.rogers" (brid? Not bird like the title?) There's something written in a language i dont understand, but from google translator it means: "what's wrong with zyul?", which I'm assuming is the character or to represent the person posting

i hadn't catched anything wrong with the first video, just at the end that it plays out a video in the dark, i have no idea what it means

in the second video is FILLED with recordings.

''at first, the audio plays of someone trying to call 'Alex', i think it is someone called ''Grim''. They have to record their message (number being 0123456789?)

'' hey alex its Grim, i'm glad to hear that you're back home for the summer. Sorry again that i didn't pick up when you first called, i was- i was busy, but, anyway, uhm, yeah! just glad to hear that you're back, we really need to catch up, its been too long dude. uhm just shoot me a text whenver you're free and, oh, oh- sorry i gotta go again, but, anyway, glad to hear you're back home.''

nothing too weird about the rest of the video then, which comes back with the speedpaint- the channel only has 2 videos, so you'd think that's the end of it? but nope! lets dig in a little bit deeper!

found this at their community tab, but the artwork can also be found at their instagram (which, so far, they only have instagram and youtube.). and loook, A CLUE! we find out that Grim, The one who called Alex, is also an artist and interacts with the person who owns the channel from time to time! and yes, the person who owns the channel is alex, Grim confirms it on their instagram

so.. we know alex has been away, and is coming back from college for summer, (it's mentioned a few times on their instagram)

Don't think i didn't see the link! :D i was just pointing out sum details haha

this is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_vSRk84CWI

and it leads you to this vid!

let's look at the title first, i put it in a morse code translator and it said ''CANARY'', in the video, a bird is singing, and the video does not fail to point that out-

''The canaries are most often associated with happiness, compassion, and the ability to help others through a hard time. They can sometimes come into our lives to remind us of what is important and to keep our optimism in times of sadness.''

I think this video is about Grim and Alex talking to each other, i wrote in what they said but i will put here the most important parts (for me at least)

''you know about the kidnapping that happened a couple years ago in the woods that weren't far away'' (this doesnt have a continuation but its interesting)

-

''you're lucky enough to see me Outdoors, it's taken me so long to get that far, so yeah''

-

''I've told you about how Robin's been acting lately right? she just did a whole jerk about the whole thing I I don't know why and I don't know if it's gotten into her, it, it's just weird I-''

-

''don't sound like her from what you were saying'' ''I know that's why I'm so shocked, it's like I don't know what happened and I am I don't know I'm worried but I don't know at the same time I I just could be''

-

robin is a new character here, but we dont know much abut her.

this is pretty much all i got, Alex posted on the community tab about getting a new social media account but they haven't shared it yet

[justsomerandomfanfic]

hello ! i was wondering if i could get a romantic star wars and harry potter matchup if that's alright ?

im 19 years old and bisexual. i have shoulder length wavy brown hair, and i wear glasses. im about 5'7 and pretty thin

i'm an ambivert, and can make conversation well when it's needed. i'm pretty smart but pretty slow if that makes sense 😭 on the outside, i seem quiet and reserved, but once i get to know someone, i can talk a lot. i have adhd and that can make it difficult for me to focus on one thing at a time, but overall i'm pretty good at learning new things

i play bass and collect action figures. music is a big thing in my life, as i play in a small band with a few friends from my university. some of my favorite artists are system of a down, blink-182, weezer, and slipknot. i play video games in my free time and i would say i'm not too bad at them. my love languages are physical touch, quality time, and gift giving. i love giving loved ones small things that remind me of them, and i love being close to others.

thanks so much and have a great day !

Yaya! Thank you so much for requesting this matchup!!! I hope you enjoy it! <333

Star Wars;

Rey:

🌌 You met Rey with Poe and BB-8, and you instantly felt some sort of connection with her, though it took you a while to warm up enough to her; it was the same for her too, she's got trust issues

🌌 When you did talk to her, you fell; you fell hard

🌌 It didn't take long for the two of you to confess your feelings for one another, and you both welcomed the start of a wonderful relationship

🌌 After the fall of the First Order, you and Rey finally had enough time to spend with each other, doing almost everything together

🌌 In the mornings, you'd wake up in each other's arms, laying there and just feeling at complete ease; you loved waking up in each other's arms and not having to get ready for anything or be anywhere

🌌 Rey would sometimes play with your hair, brushing her fingers through it as you hummed a song you were working on; you loved it whenever she played with your hair or braided it, it was calming and always made you feel like you belonged somewhere

🌌 When she was done with your hair, she'd wrapped her arms around your neck from behind, leaning down to place her chin on the top of your head; you especially loved when you'd tilt your head up and meet your lips with hers

🌌 You love training with Rey, her sometimes letting you use her lightsaber, and teaching you how to use it; she would wrap her arms around you, her hands covering yours on the hilt of the saber as she softly tells you how to swing or even cut a boulder in half

🌌 If you are ever stressed about something, Rey would just take you in her arms, softly squeezing you; you would do the same for Rey, taking her in your arms, listening to her heartbeat slow and finally calm

🌌 Rey thinks you are the greatest person in the galaxy, she says that to you every day, making sure that you know it (she's smitten), but most importantly that she loves you; she loves you so much that she feels like she has no room to breathe or exist without you in her life, she loves the way you make her feel safe, she can't imagine a world where she wouldn't have you by her side; she's never been happier in her entire life

--

Harry Potter;

Sirius Black:

🐾 You had known of Sirius through Remus, an old friend of yours who was married to your best friend Nymphadora, also known as Dora to close friends like you

🐾 You finally met him after he escaped, during the battle, having saved his life; for you, once your eyes met his, it was love at first sight

🐾 Sirius didn't know what to really think of you at first, he was very thankful and grateful for you saving his life, but when he got to know you, he thought that perhaps there was something more to you than what meets the eye

🐾 Sirius found the age gap to be… A bit awkward, him being seventeen years older than you, but he wasn't sure if it was a good idea to start anything with you; though when you looked at him… Sirius felt himself starting to melt; no matter how hard he tried, there was something about you that just made him want to be near you and spend all day with you

🐾 Eventually, the two of you began a relationship, and it was perfect; although not everything went according to plan at first, you couldn't ask for anyone else, Sirius was charming, sweet, funny and so much better than you ever imagined

🐾 After the battle, and after some healing on both your parts, Harry moved in with you and Sirius; it was fun having the kid around, and it was bittersweet when he left to find a place of his own with Ginny (the wedding was beautiful)

🐾 Sirius loved buying you things, a small habit he had gotten over the years, but he loved the smile you would get on your face whenever he bought you something new or thoughtful; whether that be a new journal, new quills, or even a Muggle Bass, you loved all the gifts he gave you

🐾 He even bought you a radio once where you would listen to music often, Sirius taking you in his arms and swaying with you to the classical music; you loved feeling his arms around you, the way your head fit perfectly into the crook of his neck and shoulders, the way he smelled like lavender, mahogany wood, and his own natural musk

🐾 One of your favorite things about Sirius is his hair, you loved how long, curly, and black it is; you loved to run your fingers through it while you were read on the couch; Sirius's head laying on your lap, his eyes closed and a blissful smile on his face, (most of the time he'd lay in your lap as a dog, which you thought was funny yet sweet)

🐾 You love learning new things with Sirius, especially if he taught you them, like the constellations, the meaning behind some of his tattoos, or even the little secrets he had tucked away inside his heart; you loved hearing old stories from his time at Hogwarts, learning about James, Peter, Remus, and himself

🐾 You loved Sirius unconditionally, always believing in his goodness and always willing to help him, no matter what; Sirius loved you to the moon and back, and never failed to remind you every morning and night of that fact, no one could compare to you

[schleckermaul]

PERMANENT PLOTTING & RELATIONSHIP CALL!

i truly do not think i've ever done one of these, so please bear with me as i juggle my way through it. this is a post meant to lay some groundwork for longterm plots and relationships, as well as making it easier for new people to interact with break! if any of the ideas and dynamics mentioned below interest you, feel free to like this.

and if you do, it'll open the doors for:

primarily, me hopping into your ims to plot, though you're free to come bother me first, as well

more spontaneous and unprompted starters and asks

generally me yelling about our muses whenever i can

a personalized tag for your muse down the line

... and more, probably, once i think of it

below the cut, peep some dynamics i have in mind. if you have any others you'd like to try out that i didn't mention, you can like this anyways and lemme know in ims!

FRIENDS. while break will absolutely refuse to call most people his friends, he's a lot more open to friendlier relationships nowadays. his standards for that are a little weird, though. he appreciates people that are also a little messed up, even if he doesn't know what exactly is wrong with them. if he thinks that you, given the chance, could match his level of sharpness, or could handle listening to his self-loathing, he's a lot more likely to actually trust you. he likes damaged weirdos, essentially, because he is a damaged weirdo.

he's not opposed to making friends with people who are happy and healthy and doing well, but usually, that comes with a default distance he consistently puts between the both of you, as to protect you from his own tomfoolery, as well as simply not having the energy to deal with that.

BRATS. this is such a specific vibe, but of course, people that are younger than break. he knows he's a godawful role model, and he absolutely sucks with kids, but he does have a habit of ... being a role model for kids. he's your weird uncle that you can call when you're in trouble and don't wanna call your parents, essentially. break absolutely plays favourites, as well, more open to an actually genuine relationship with youngins he feels are smarter and more confident than your usual run. if you don't hesitate to square up to him, even if he feels ancient compared to you, he'll be impressed.

SPARRING PARTNERS. sword nerd over here will bond easily over talking about swords, or just being asked about his sword. he'll have his cane soon enough, which is just a concealed sword, something he carries around all the time. (he rarely lets go of it and refuses to let other people touch it.) while this would require some type of bond in the first place, for break to reveal that he's carrying around a weapon at all times, once that's out of the way, he's delighted to talk about it. he's also open to training people if they're close enough to him. however, be prepared for him beating the shit out of you, he does not pull his punches.

FAMILY. basically a step up from friends. once break considers you an actual friend, it doesn't take a lot for him to essentially do anything to keep you safe and happy. this doesn't necessarily have to connect to specific familial roles, it's just break's inner, closer circle, that he'll trust with more information and show more vulnerability towards.

ENEMIES. this one is spicy, i definitely need more of these. to break, anybody who reminds him of himself is definitely gonna get treated roughly. there's a lot of people he's neutral towards, but enemies would be people he actively dislikes, goes out of his way to avoid and uses most opportunities to ruin their day if confronted with them.

when i say reminds him of himself, i mean people that are overly dedicated, to the point it becomes close-minded. break's motto is "people that misbehave for other people's sake are the ones i hate most", because that's what he did in the past. a lot of his arc is about not letting other people become what he became. if you're willing to throw it all away for one person and lose yourself in that purpose, he's going to be mighty suspicious of you. as well as general disregard of life, especially if it's motivated by some self-serving goal or desire.

dishonesty pisses him off, too. if you fake politeness around him, he'll pick up on that quickly. basically, if you're inherently disingenuous, break's gonna realize sooner or later, since he's an expert at being disingenuous, and he's gonna despise you for it. and, last but not least, if you remind him of people from back home that he dislikes, that's pretty much a done deal, sorry.

and that should be it! later down the line, i might add more dynamics if i think of more, but for now, these are all of them. thank you very much for reading <3

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

TW: mentions/implied childhood abuse/trauma, but nothing in detail, medical abuse (im not 100% sure this is the correct term hhhh sorry), past suicidal thoughts (not current but incase just seeing the mention of it might be triggering for someone)

Just looking to vent abit, and maybe some reassurance I guess? Sorry in advance if this gets long, I tend to waffle when upset.

Recently got accepted for a new type of therapy with a new therapist (after continually being sent to therapists whom forced me into a type of therapy that did not help me much at all - if anything it made my mental health and the resulting suicidal tendencies at the time worse!) The therapy/new therapist itself isn't the bad part, in fact so far our first session went really well and she seems very nice and understanding/supportive so I feel positive about our future sessions and hopefully this therapy will give me some more tools to help myself get better. The session was also kinda hard because part of the type of therapy we're trying involved making a timeline of my life (including all the trauma stuff) so that we can isolate the worst areas and do target treatment on them. Ofc I understand why it was necessary to do for the future of "getting better" as a whole but I found it really hard? I've noticed since that session I'm crying a LOT more than I was prior to having the session and idk I just wanted to talk about it with....someone. (I can't talk to my parents, they're the source of the majority of said trauma but not all of it, and I feel like lately all I ever do with friends is vent and I don't want to burden them with this too, yk?)

The appointment lasted for an hour over video call which isn't really that long but it felt like going through everything took FOREVER and when I was done the therapist had to take a solid 20 seconds to almost like...buffer and process everything. When she did finally answer me, she sounded so heartbroken when she said "...sweetie do you have ANY positive memories about your childhood?" And I feel...some type of way (not really sure what to call it yet) about the fact that in the moment I really couldn't think of one, even though I at least had one loving grandparent and defo had positive memories in between the abuse from my parents. Is that...normal?

Ty for listening in advance & I hope anyone reading this is doing okay. Remember to drink water and whatnot 🫶

-🐊

Hi 🐊,

I'm so sorry to hear about what you've been through.

Please know that it's common for survivors, especially survivors of child abuse, to have a hard time recalling positive childhood memories. For some survivors, these memories get overshadowed by trauma, and for others, they simply don't have positive memories. It's natural to feel a sense of grief over this, whichever way resonates with you.

I just want to say that if you feel that the pace of your therapy is going too fast or too deep, it's important to communicate this to your therapist so they can adjust their approach to something more comfortable for you. It's normal to have some heavy sessions, but if you find that it really weighs on you or disturbs you, consider letting your therapist know.

I hope that you can find peace and healing in your therapeutic relationship, and feel free to update us if you'd like. I hope I could help provide some clarity, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

i think im aroace. i fit some of the criteria and generally i just have a very complicated and lengthy relationship with romance. im usually romance favorable except when im not. sometimes i feel like i cant be arospec because im not the same as my friends who are also aro. its somewhat disheartening because ive spent so much of my life wanting romance and wanting relationships and wanting to experience dating culture and i thought id get to have it one day because im capable of liking people sometimes but i cant handle it when someone likes me back and i know it cant be commitment issues because i have absolutely no qualms committing to platonic friendships and moderately sized life decisions but theres just something in the way of me having a normal allo love experience and i know this identity is something i should be proud of and sometimes it is! i absolutely love looking through the tags on tumblr and i love that i have a unique way of experiencing feelings and this label really does make me so happy! but i cant help but yearn for a simpler existence. why cant it just be a case of liking a guy called daniel and then him liking me back and then we date and break up and then i go for a one-night stand with a girl called melissa and then we date and break up and date again and i meet her parents and i tell her i love her and then we grow old together. ive just always wanted something straight out of a tv show or book or whatever but the world just looks so much narrower now and it feels so much harder to find someone that it can work out with. i dont know. i hate amatonormativity. and sorry for the negative energy. i just kinda needed to get this off my chest. thank you for the safe space.

For being different than your aro friends, it's important to remember the aro spectrum is really diverse. There's a lot of different ways to be aro. So when trying to figure out if the label is right for you or not, I wouldn't factor that in too much, instead I'd focus more on things like is the label useful for you? Do you feel a connection to it? Does alloromantic feel wrong to you? Because being alloromantic encompasses so many things, there's so many ways to fall outside that mold. So remember this is your journey, keep asking yourself what makes sense for you.

It's OK to have negative feelings about possibly being aro, or about not being able to have that allo-normative romance you thought you would. This can be a big adjustment for some people, not everyone can just say 'oh I'm aromantic and I'm going to live a different life than I thought I did/not have a lot of experiences I thought I would' and not be affected by that (some people do have different experiences, but it's really not unreasonable to have to work at dealing with that.)

Sometimes you need to mourn the life and experiences you thought you'd have. Sometimes it takes a little while to reframe your goals and expectations in life. Sometimes I like to say being aro often means forging your own path rather than following the one laid out for you, that can be really exciting learning about yourself and figuring out what you do excited by and want to do, but it's scary too. And it's OK to have all these feelings.

I think what you're doing right now though going through tumblr tags and finding a side of aro that you enjoy is really great and really good first step. Finding some blogs you like or some aro-centric media may help too (look into books and podcast lists, because that seems to be where the most aro characters are these days). This is always helpful, no matter where you land, because it just normalizes being aro, and makes it feel a lot less scary.

The other thing is just take your time. You're figuring out a lot of things right now, you don't have to rush anything. Things will get easier as you figure more out and you start to understand yourself better.

Feel free to send in another ask if you have more questions or want to talk more.

All the best!

[mahikamihan]

Hello!

Firstly, although I watch basically every crunchcraft stream, sometimes I miss details especially if multiple people are streaming at once, but I'll try my best and maybe have a look at the VODs tomorrow (which I am very happy to do btw)(and I haven't been able to watch any of Miyoungs solo stuff really because she streams too late for me TT ^ TT )

Ok so, I think we're on the same page with the pets- I don't think she ever gave them names- especially the llamas and her parrots- but i'll double check. I didn't watch when she got the cats so idk about that either.

Foolish has visited the deep dark (in the mine near his boat) a couple of times, and came across another portion of it when adventuring with Miyoung and Karl more recently.) But the first time he came across it was when mining for resources with Tina a couple of days after Karl joined- so significantly after his first death. I would agree that he is definitely more careful while in caves now, especially because he knows very little about the deep dark. However, he is very steadfast and curious by nature so he has been taking more risks. Besides just being curious and a bit stubborn, I think his persistance to mine and explore unsafe areas comes from him identifying his role (at least until sam started the iron farm) as the provider for the server- being the most competent minecrafter- risking his life in the pursuit of vital resources to ensure the future safety of his friends, e.g Iron armour for Tina.

The boys are really dedicated to the One Piece bit LMAO, so I predicted with Sykkuno being a marine it would create new tensions. In One Piece, even though there is competition and often battles between pirate crews to claim the title of king of the pirates etc., there is a common enemy in and unspoken alliance against the Marines (who are basically the government/ military) who want to take down all pirates. Therefore, in that way there could still be a significant and central rivalry between pirates like Karl and Foolish, while they acknowledge a wider issue in the common enemy of the marines aiming to stop them both.

Also yes, transcribing Karls book was a lot, but top tip, I figured out that (if you are on laptop/pc at least) you can screenshot/ clip the image of the page from the stream and then input it into a browser image to text converter, that made it a lot quicker.

Hope this helped!

I love talking Crunchcraft and I think sort of unintentional lore is so much more fun to make headcanons and interpret stuff from

I'll check in on ur blog so feel free to ask anything else- or if u just make a post about something I might send an ask with my take/ adding stuff if you'd like

-🦀

omg you don't have to look thru the vods if you're too busy! I'm just naturally curious about the little details 😅 (and yeah, miyoung streams late, it was a pretty dry of streams this morning, so I thankfully got a chance to catch up on some of Miyoung's and Tina's vods while at work)

i go on a pretty looooonnnngg discussion below the line, be warned! (hope you don't mind, I am just in such an inspired mood)

glad to know im not the only one having a hard time with the pet names :') I only knew of muffin bc Tina mentions her when she was talking to miyoung in one of her late night streams, and she got the cats from karl/foolish's streams when they were coming back from adventuring i think? idk if she ever picked names for the parrots/llamas, and she usually mentions them offhandedly in her streams so they're a blink or you'll miss it kind of thing compared to foolish and karl

it's actually SOOOO interesting that they found the deep dark after Foolish's first death, like, especially pretty early on when the revival system was placed! I kinda had a lore-y headcanon similarly that he was pretty level-headed leader and explorer, only much more rebellious and stubborn headed when he first joined the server. Through his first death, he has had this little anxiety that he carries with him about caves and unforeseen dangers now. He get very protective and afraid for his friends when they go in the dark, mining and such (I like a little angst sprinkled here and there). And he make judgements and analyses of other's first deaths as well in order to better himself (the vod reviews). I think crunchcraft!Foosh really understood the weight of his death bc through his hubris (love for treasure and recklessness), he left tina in a dangerous cave alone without a way to safely navigate back home that basically sparked this whole death tax and revival fees. Like imagine having a friend so so integral to your survival and well-being you bend the rules of the universe/server to just have them back. That's some fucking poetry like,,,, what in the accidental characterization that's just ... 🤌*chef's kiss*🤌

:O aaah! i'm so relieved you know one piece bc I would have never gotten that reference! ever! I hope they go through with it in their RP-ing, even a little bit, I would love love love to see it happen and the chaos that would ensue. esp if sykkuno is the opposing force sldklsdk *side eyes his first time meeting rae on mc he blowed her up accidentally*

omg the book thing is genius, im stealing that method now hehehe XD i was typing as i watch the entire time! ;-; i was about to quit thank god he only went up to 18 pages in mc

feel free to check in here every now and then, i think i might engage with more crunchcraft lore knowing that people are getting interested and looking forward to them now and again. I have like, one drabble for miyoung's first day on my queue ready to post and working on foolish's and maybe karl's first days as well. it's suuuuuper fun thinking about how they would be interpreted story/plot-wise!

[samsspambox]

I have come to the realization that there is almost no kiki content in the fandom, so I will be dropping on the most popular tot blogs to ask. thoughts on kiki bennet? (pssps feel free not to answer if you don't want!)

heyo nonnie! jkdsnckdjn im flattered you think of me as a poplar tot blog!!!! ayo ma! i made it!

no but fr fr, kiki bennet is literally a treasure trove of potential. she's pretty, shes smart, she has hobbies, and she's single. we know so little about her that anything we write about her could be plausible! what else could you want???! i'm with you on this indignation of lack of content nonnie, kiki bennet should be written in more fics, she's so fucking interesting.

here are some of my passing thoughts of kiki bennet i've had throughout the year this game has been live:

kiki could be an nsb super secret agent

hear me out hear me out -- i've written this before and and it could make sense

back when lukepearceing was still active *does salute* we had a theory chain and in it, we thought of the idea of kiki being a type o sleeper agent for the nsb

kiki and mc met through college (re: poor una cabeza where mc said she took an acting class bc kiki said it'd be easy credits) so the timeline kinda meets up

we know that the nsb is capable of recruiting literal children t (luke was 16/17 when he went off to college) so could kiki really be any different?

we had a couple of theories as too why kiki was placed as mc's retainer, but most of them lead to mc's parents and their 'research' so someone had to watch mc (as insurance or for safety we don't know)

which brings up the dynamic of agent raven vs agent bennet (or, agent hummingbird), like they cant say they 'know each other' in front of mc

there's also the rivalry component-- who's the better agent? which could then lead to some good enemies to lovers if you play your cards right

(i do have an agent kiki fic, but it was when i first started to write and maybe i should re-write it/ give it a sequel)

kiki is a stan, maybe she can stan someone else?

listen, kiki as a marius stan would be so fucking funny hear me out--

we know that kiki follows idols online, and you know who else gets media exposure?

marius von hagen.

kiki's a good character to dig deep with marius -- with idols (or just famous people in general) you have to do your research

i think kiki would be one of the people to look through the mask marius wears

and then somehow he's her friend's client and she can get an autograph jbdcjksb (another one that could end in a ship if you play your cards right)

kiki and vincent -- the designated wingmans of the main characters who maybe also crave love and could find it in each other

WINGPEOPLE FOR THE WIN

listen i will die on this hill, this is my top ship with kiki in it

we don't know how old vincent is, but by the looks of it he cant be that old!

they could try and help their respective person get together with the other and then they could also fall in love with each other bc

vincent hypes marius up and he does it in such an earnest way and u know how

some people light up when talking about things they're very passionate and suddenly you have this moment of like 'oh, you're kinda cute' yeah that. kiki has that moment

and it would be so cute to have mc and marius get them together too after/before they got together and uGH

this ship is my guilty pleasure and i should totally write them

kiki and artem could be friends! they should be friends tbh

kiki and trek have such a funny relationship in game-- one is afraid of the other while the other is just like ???

i have written this before but kiki and artem both like movies and with kiki's influenc in the stan field they surely would have talked

i def see this as more of a platonic relationship as friends that hang out and watch shifty movies to pass time

but i can also see the potential of a ship (as with all the other things on here) since you'd have two people's opinions of each other changing the more time they spend together

i have also written a fic about it, bc who doesn't love a good office comedy?

and yeah! those are my takes on kiki! shes's such a cool character and i love her to bits. thank you for the ask nonnie!!

[onwriting-hrarby]

i wish i could go back and skim through ITS to tell you exactly all my favourite scenes!! (i do hope one day it would be okay for you to repost it, its such a lovely dreamy fic ♥️)

but like on the top of my head that i can remember, my fave scenes would be:

- the night they had sex in the sea. it wasnt even a hot smut scene, but the way you wrote it was like seeing so many emotions being sloowwwly pulled out of a box. them being so raw with their bodies to tell eachother how they feel, even without words. i truly felt in the moment as if i was eren or mikasa, like it was so incredible how i could feel the heaviness of the scene. i loved it so much.

- i really liked the club scenes in marley when they would dance together and enjoy the music and feel that strong connection through their gazes. and even if it was heartbreaking to have also read some of that through their current lovers pov at the time, i found that really interesting to see how third parties could see that love that resided in them through little gestures, like i think it was that part where a song from the band played and was it hisu or jean who watched them as they looked straight at eachother and fell into embrace at such excitement. from that scene i was really rooting for em!!

-it wasnt an em scene but i really really looove that haircut scene with sasha when they talk about eren and how forward sasha was with her. it really made me feel grateful mikasa has a friend like that to push her.

-also another scene that wasnt with em but i loved that scene where erens at a cafe with annie? and pieck? i think and he talks about how much he likes mikasa? if im not mistaken, he realised he liked her so much that he felt he needed to break up with hisu. i liked that scene because it was really nice to see how certain eren was about his feelings for mikasa, like he wasnt in a daze or conflicted about it, those feelings were real and he liked it enough to talk about it. literally my heart fluttered!

honestly i love all your eremikas!! sorry for the late reply, but yeah these scene are what i can remember really liking from instead they said!! ♥️

AHHH GOSH this anon made so happy. i truly feel so grateful that you remember ITS so well and that you like it :') it warms my heart, because (ranting) writing stories it's just sooo much time. i really enjoy doing it (otherwise i wouldn't) but sometimes it can also feel lonely, or like it's not paying off. but having you here commenting about this work it making me feel fuzzy, truly.

all the scenes you've said i also thought of them! minus the sasha one because I DIDN'T REMEMBER! also the annie and pieck one... IT BLEW MY MIND YOU DID REMEMBER TOO! i have to say that the scene of the disco in which they hug and jean sees was actually meant to be in "I did not live until today", but I couldn't make it work there, so I saved the idea and then the right opportunity came along.

when i received your anon i came back to the scene at the beach and i liked it :') thank you very much for making me go back, because i felt like i had done this right, and now i'm pumped up for the next project!

if you ever read anything else from me and you'd like to comment on it, feel free to do so <3 i appreciate all criticism!

as for now, i will think about putting ITS up again (i want to correct it first... my english has gotten much better!).

thank you so much <3

-hera

[livetorisegs]

i am interested, but i have never rped outside of tumblr. any tips?

main tip: just do it, coz it’s fucking better than tumblr and a lot easier/more dynamic and smooth on discord. 

okay but in all honesty!! once you join the server and get approved, you’ll see that there are a lot of channels. in character group chat, texts, a secondary server dedicated to threads and drabbles. and i and all other members are very welcoming and will explain absolutely any questions you might have. so honestly my biggest tip? focus on your desired character(s) and figuring out their place in this world, and we’ll help you figure out the rest! but i promise, it’s a very smooth transition from tumblr to discord! 

we even have ask box/memes features set up! 

just don’t be afraid to ask any questions once in there! also, we use a feature called tupperbox that makes it very easy to roleplay as you’d see!