#also fuck young and damned and fair specifically

[coldhardbinch]

New rule for Tudor historians: keep Katherine Howard's name out of your fucking mouth unless you're willing to acknowledge the fact that she was sexually abused as a minor by men with authority over her

[first-edition]

Fox and the Hound

Sum-Joffrey wants to send a message to your family after your brother embarrasses him, so he marries you off to his most unwanted man in his court, the hound. But will this marriage truly be a statement for an eyesore, or will it grow into something more. 

Cw for chapter- alcohol consumption on 18+ words and themes overall. Slight angst.

// A/N: just wanted to apologize for the broken links at the beginning of the book since i changed my username they haven’t been working but i assure you I’ll get to fixing them. I will also end up making a goggle docs with the entire book for downloading when this series ends//

Previous chapter here

CHAPTER 15

“Sandor” you speak your voice soft as it fills his ears. He looks up to you awakening from his sleep a kind and welcoming smile sits on your face as his vision slightly clears his finger tips running up and down your nude side as the night before now was filled with much needed passion. 

“y/n.” he speaks your name, somehow feeling slightly foreign. The sleep from his eyes is not yet completely clear as your shape and frame begin to come into the dim morning light shining through the curtains of your shard chamber, the morning sun heating the room. 

“Sandor.” your voice sounds again as it sounds more distressed.

“What? I'm right here.” he says, his voice sounding more muffled in his own ears.

“SANDOR! AHHH” you scream a blood curdling scream. 

Sandor jolts away as his horse lets out a soft snort of the fire that was burning far enough away that when it pops none of the coals get on him yet he can still feel the warmth, now burnt out to a mere smoke. 

“Fuck.” he grumbles sitting up rubbing his hand down his face wiping the blurring sleep from his eyes. 

Now he's dreaming about your torment, great. The last thing he needs is to be drunk with you on his way to finding his way back. 

Having fallen asleep outside Planky town after setting up a quick camp, Sandor is back up again to put out the rest of the fire and gather his things before getting back onto the horse and heading to sunspear. The fishmongers and ship traders won't be out for another hour as it's dawn and the sun has only barely risen above the mountain line, but that seems to be all the time he needs.

————

Tying up the horse outside the town of sunspear he walks through a cape he stole from his pass through the vaith draped over his shoulder and the hood hiding his face well enough for people not too notice, although his height and large stature is another thing the thriving village marketers seem to be aware of. 

The smell of rotting fish and sweaty overworked men fill his nose causing him to cringe a bit as he walks through the fishing posts to the ship traders docks. A short line of three men is lifted fast before Sandor gets to the head trader. 

“You. I need to know if a woman and young squire passed through here some days ago." Sandor speaks his voice is husky and deep. 

“You're gonna need to be more specific than that, a lot of fair maiden and young men pass through these parts, it's a market after all.” The man with a deep Irish accent speaks looking up to the 6 '7 man. 

“She would be dressed nice and he’d be a fucking squire.” Sandor says gruffly as having been lost from you for around a week or two now has been fiddling with his head. 

“No need for tha’ kinda langue now is there!” the smaller man speaks. 

“The princess of volantis.” Sandor says, pulling his hood off. The man gasps, taking a fearful step back as sandor towers over him. 

“Y-you're the hound aye ‘ou are.” the man says in shock. 

“A band of king's men came a throu’ ‘ere lookin f’er the likes of you.” the trader speaks with a slight shake in his voice. 

“The princess!” Sandor grunts, grabbing the man. 

“No’r I swear it. Don't yah think i'd notice if the damn princess of Vol’antis came through here. Looking fer my own ship to sail.” The trader chuckles is slight fear. 

Sandor lets him go, stepping aside for the actual paying customers as his mind once again runs wild with everything and anything that could've happened to you, the dead horse in his path could mean a dead you. 

“Oi yah Hound ser, no princess has come through my part as of yet, but you best be tryi’n the innkeep. A princess like one yer search’in for would wan’ a roof ov’r her ‘ead to sleep the night away.” The ship trader says clearing sandors head a bit as he point the larger man toward the stone path way showing his the inn sign hanging from afar. With out thanking the ship trader sandor heads twords the sign walking a fast pace for his larger size. 

Opening the door he ducks his head slightly so as to not knock it on the frame; the inn lounge is already half full with the raging market and sleepaway eating breakfast. Sandor walks over the edge and takes a seat in the corner at the empty table not necessarily wanting to be seen. 

A young girl no older than 14 comes up to him and sets down a larger mug a bit small in sandor hands however, but nonetheless pours him ale out of the pitcher she holds. 

“What can I get for you?” she asks. Her voice is small and quiet, reminding him of you when you first met.

“Chicken and bread.” Sandor says, pulling out the leather pouch of coin which he also stole. 

“Th-there's no need ser, it is the lord's day we do not accept coin on such a day.” she says leaving the jug of alcohol in front of him and walks off. Sandor scoffs at the day of religion people take so seriously. Sunday of all days is like no other. He takes the mug of ale to his lips and drinks, quenching his thirst as he gulps it down. 

Not even a moment later an older woman, most likely with the innkeeper's wife, sets down a plate of food for him. 

“Can I get yer anything else ser?” she asks, wiping her hands off on her apron. 

“I'm looking for someone.” Sandor speaks looking at her even while sitting him still at eye level. 

“And who might it be m’lord?” she asks. 

“The princess of volantis and her attending squire.” Sandor speaks again.

“N-no m’lord i would know if i housed a princess under my roof.” She speaks. Sandor grumbles while taking another drink as the woman walks off. He tries to clear his mind as he eats but yet it's still full of worry and despair. Maybe you hadn't gotten there yet with the long walk it would take, no the amount the horse was decayed yud been here, he told to wait.

Once done he gets up leaving a coin despite it being ‘the lord's day.’ He walks past the overly drunk men laughing and others enjoying their meal but stops when his eyes catch the short brown hair and skinny frame. He turns his head seeing her. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” he asks. 

“Shit.” Ayra curses under her breath as she turns around to face the giant man she used to protect her sister before she ran away. 

“I asked you a question girl. What's a stark bitch like you doing so far." Sandor speaks, stepping closer to her. 

“Same as you giant…h-hiding.” She says Sandor scoffs and exits the lounge only for Arya to follow after him. 

“W-wait.. I need your help.” she says following him as he walks back up the road to the entrance of town to the horse. 

“Fuck off girl.” he demands. 

“No, my brother and mother! I need you to take me to them.'' Arya squeaks out as she almost trips over a loose brick in the road. He stops and huffs out. 

“Why? Why should I do that for you? I've got my own business girl, one that doesn't concern you.” he speaks. 

“I overheard you looking for y/n!” she says, causing him to stop as well. 

“I could help you. I-if you get me to the battlegrounds i’ll give you enough coins and men to find her for you.” she says. 

“I trade you for a coin then?” sandor speaks 

“Yes.” Arya speaks. Sandor sighs shaking his head knowing its going to be a stupid fucking idea. 

“Fine.” he replies and continues to walk out of the town.

Tag list- if you want to be added comment below!

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[thedevilrisen]

Hospital - 4

Nova Crosby -

12:10pm

Sid's eyes watered as he read the message, and not just from the contents but also the blinding tone of the screen. Fluorescent pixels highlighted every word of the message and while he sat on the carpeted floor of the hospital lobby, Luke slouched down beside him cradled into his chest he thought back to a moment in Nova's favourite tv show. Gilmore girls, or more specifically the moment where Richard Gilmore was in hospital and he stated, 'I'd rather be in Philadelphia than here.' 'What's in Philadelphia?' Rory had asked, 'Nothing, but it would be better than being here.'

Right now, as much as the city despised him, Sidney wished he and Nova were in Philadelphia. Not in the hospital, and certainly that she wasn't in the ICU. Taking a breath and rubbing his hand up and down Luke's arm again, the fabric of his hoodie bunching with the motion.

"I'm about to tell you something that is going to hurt, like fuck." Sid mumbled, he winced at Luke's reaction, the harsh breath in which he sucked in, the grip on Sid's suit jacket scrunching just that little tighter. "Luke, Nova has had two of her three surgeries, they weren't able to get to the third one because some... complications arose."

Luke squished his eyes shut tightly to refrain from shedding anymore tears, as he waited silently for Sid to go on, waiting for the damn wall he so tenderly hand crafted to come flooding down at a mere handful of words.

"Because of this, Novs was moved to the ICU." Sid held his breath as he waited for the fiery explosion of the dropped bomb to submerge him. Sid himself wanted to do the least adult like thing and stand and scream, it's not fair, she doesn't deserve it. Yet, holding it together for Luke, he sat silently, waiting.

"What, do we do now?" Luke choked out horsley, Sid watched as every fibre of the young boys being strained to keep him some resemblance of a man, normal. But wasn't an inconsolable, heartbroken, barely hanging on boyfriend the norm in this situation?

"Well, they told me in the message that there is an intensive care waiting room up on floor three, outside ward three A. If we go and wait there, then a nurse will come and take us in to see her." Sid watched the understanding slowly dawn on Luke's face, viewed the moment it clicked in the young boys head. He could see her, but there were conditions, those conditions required a certain amount of cooperation from his brain and limbs.

"So we go to floor three, then." Luke stated with finality, his grasp on Sid's now wrinkled blazer loosened as he fought his way into a standing position, using the wall and somewhere in there, Sidney's head for leverage. Choosing not to comment, Sid also rose from the ground. Smoothing his suit out of habit.

Both men stood and looked at each other momentarily before Luke meandered to the horridly patterned excuse of a chair he was sitting on. He picked up the brown paper bag which housed the once warm banana bread and creased it to peek inside, poking at the now cold, doughy probably exceptionally buttery loaf Luke couldn't bring himself to eat anymore.

"Any good?" Sid asked, taking the bag which sat loosely in Luke's hand and peeking inside.

"No better than yours." Luke managed, a forelong smile gracing his lips. Thinking once again back to the times when Nova and the two of them spent time in the kitchen throwing flour at each other and eating Sid's banana bread when it was still a little too hot fresh out of the oven.

Watching as the shadows of good memories flash through Luke's features he took the opportunity to make the most of this temporary mood lift. Together with some uhm-ing and ah-ing Sidney led himself and Luke down some corridors they didn't need to and others that finally led them to the Intensive Care waiting room. It was small with a mini fridge and a snack bar, three couches and a window which led to shrouded darkness outside.

Sitting down on individual couches, watching the black industry standard phone and waiting for it to ring felt like torture, knowing that Nova was on this floor, alone and probably scared was killing them both. More so Sidney as this was everything he vowed never to happen, he was supposed to be the one to silence all fears and cradle her throughout the storm. The parental guilt, reflection and utter terrible sinking feeling in his gut all continued to pile.

1:02am

Both men, even while concerned were struggling to keep their eyes open, both the emotional toll and physicality of Sid's game was catching up. Yet still the phone sat silent, the fact that nothing had been passed on only meant one thing. Bad.

When the phone broke them out of their mopey, stupor by piercing the wretched silence with its call Sid reached for it, holding the receiver to his ear.

"Sidney Crosby speaking."

"Mr. Crosby, I apologise for the wait, we had some further complications moving your daughter into the intensive care unit, however we have her out of an unplanned surgery now, she is being moved as we speak. I will prioritise having a nurse come and collect you shortly."

All Sidney heard, and Luke heard from leaning over was unplanned surgery.

A corresponding thought ricocheted throughout their minds.

What the fuck went wrong.

[creepylittlelady]

My own two cents on the Fanon vs Canon argument [Mainly just me defending fanon]

Alright, so I have a history with the Creepypasta fandom. I was sadly too into MLP and Vocaloids to be all that into it in 2013-2015, but I did join in 2016 and spent majority of my childhood years in the Creepypasta fandom. Unfortunately after lockdown ended I decided to try a hand at forcing myself to grow up, which was a very miserable time littered with very very bad memories.

This year I've gone from daydreaming about the Creepypastas but refusing to interact with the fandom or any content to yk, interacting with all of you guys again. I really missed this fandom as these edgy fictional serial killers really defined who I am now.

However one thing that I can clearly remember very very well about the Creepypasta fandom is its knack for having a fuck ton of arguments with each other, specifically one; which one is better, Fanon or Canon?

Now, I remember when I was younger the Creepypasta fandom was more fanon-centric, the mansion, Slenderdad, Emo sadboy Jeff and Waffles Toby were staples. However nowadays I've seen a lot of influx of more 'canon' content; more disturbing headcanons, the characters not being that nice to each other, no slendermansion, just pure old canonicity.

I really enjoy that side of the fandom, I really really do. However I've actually seen a fair share of slander for the fanon side, about how they're mischaracterised a lot of characters over the years and ruined a lot of good Creepypastas with their incessant flanderising. However, I sort of disagree.

You see, whilst Creepypastas are also entertaining to toy around with in their more canon forms, what exactly is wrong with headcanoning the creepypastas in a more light-hearted way? Although we can all agree that none of these guys would EVER withstand being within a mile each other, and that Slenderman wouldn't ever be that nice (OH GOD I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT THIS TOPIC), that the Proxies don't exist in the first place, it's still fun. It's got a comfort and entertainment value that canon Creepypasta just doesn't have.

It's cool and interesting sure; but you have to admit it's just not as charming as the idea of all of these supernatural beings and Serial Killers all living in a home together ran by an exhausted faceless Eldritch. As someone who was a very lonely child and to this day lives with abusive parents, this concept means so much more to me than the idea of canon Creepypasta ever did.

Keep in mind, this fandom is OLD. Not ancient, like the Harry Potter fandom (shit is it still kicking?), but most of the fans do tend to be people who've grown up alongside these characters. Although I am still pretty young I've been a Creepypasta fan since I was a young child too, and lemme tell you that the found family aspect of things is just simply more nostalgic. And lemme tell you, no matter what other better concepts there are, NOTHING beats nostalgia.

As someone who prefers the fanon side a bit more than the canon side, it's just stupid fun and that's the charm of it.

Also, it's kind of odd to try and make Creepypasta more 'serious' considering that the whole point of the Creepypasta fans and the Creepypastas themselves is that they're just edgy OCs made by teenagers? I can get the more serious side such as Marble Hornets and most Slenderverse ARGs, but you have to admit, it's pretty damn odd to try and make Creepypasta this serious thing when I don't think it was ever really meant to be that way.

Also, the canon side does its own form of flanderising too. You really mean to tell me that Ticci Toby will abuse you? I get the fact that people are trying to bring awareness to the fact that these guys are Serial Killers and aren't your surrogate parents and siblings, but genuinely strange lengths SOME (KEYWORD) people will go to to prove that point is insane. Considering Toby's family history, do you believe that he will actually physically and verbally abuse you if you were in a relationship with him?

He's mentally unstable sure, but he's not an abuser because of that. I can understand that viewpoint for Laughing Jack and Jeff the Killer, but for most of the others I just don't see it. I can also see it for Slenderman but yk HE DOESN'T HAVE A CANON.

Also this post isn't just fully defending fanon; it's had it's nasty little mistakes (*cough cough* FANON MASKY *cough cough*), and I definitely won't defend that.

TL;DR/Conclusion: Fanon and Canon are both great, you don't need to attack each other over it, and especially no need to attack those who seek comfort in the fanon side. Creepypasta is a fandom of edginess and we should be celebrating that instead of trying to turn away from it and mold it into something it just ISNT.

Thanks for reading!

[dragon-cookies]

Episode 7, here goes nothing

You are literally too perfect for this show sir

Why does Alastor have more screentime in Charlie's room than her literal girlfriend

WHY DO THEY LITERALLY SHARE A BED BEFORE WE SEE CHARLIE AND VAGGIE DO

He's so fucking happy listening to her trauma dump I hate him /pos

Oh yeah the whole "angels can be killed" was a plot point wasn't it lol

Damn Charlie why so bitter about Vaggie being an angel. Like I understand being upset she kept such a big secret from you but it's not like she didn't have her reasons? Vaggie probably just figured it'd be safest to pretend to be a demon since she couldn't return to Heaven

"Come now Alastor she's much too young for you" S T O P

OH SHIT actual verbal confirmation Alastor's ace?? I was NOT expecting that

Cannibal Town is lovely design-wise but the characters dressed in red on a background is getting hard to look at

Rosie's design is pretty nice too, her design isn't too overly complicated

Carmilla: *makes it clear she doesn't want to help Vaggie fight angels* Also Carmilla: *immediately starts teaching Vaggie how to fight angels* Make it make sense ma'am

"It's not like you've ever failed to inspire before" Al I don't think Charlie's managed to inspire anyone once but okay

Susan.

I also just realized, wouldn't you think Vaggie would know something about how to kill an angel since she is one? Or at the very least know their weak points?

Oh okay so Vaggie didn't even know she herself could be harmed, fair enough I suppose

Wait so the angels' main weakness is their own weapons? And no one has figured this out until just now???

Carmilla's design looks way better with her hair down imo

It is honestly a crime Vaggie has such little screentime as she does, because the more I see of her the more I like her. It's also so frustrating Charlie basically just cut her off the second she found out she was an angel when her whole goal is redeeming people?? Charlie why are you fine with every other character calling you a bitch and Alastor literally owning peoples' souls but completely shun your own girlfriend because she (understandably imo) kept a secret from you??

And even after Charlie shunned her Vaggie is STILL 100% dedicated to supporting her cause and is willing to fight to keep her safe. Vaggie you deserve so much better

Aw Al giving Charlie his mic is sweet, what can I say. Characters trusting another character with a prized possession of theirs gets me

Hmmmm Al and Rosie's duet sounds a little sus. Sounds like Al wants to shape Charlie into something specific. Maybe in order to take over Hell or something??

Charlie why you making that face about your girlfriend's wings, what are you thinking about

Also really kinda wish these two actually sat down and had a talk together, but we already know this show has zero down time, so onto the finale I guess. So, so much of this show's pacing could be fixed if these characters just sat down and talked to each other. Charlie specifically should be spending more time with all the characters she claims to care about, but I'd be willing to bet money she's not Viv's favorite character lmao

I feel like this show was really scared it wasn't going to get another season, so they just crammed as much stuff as they could into 8 episodes. Which, now that it's been renewed for another season, what exactly are they planning on doing going forward? Ease up on the lightning-fast pacing or just keep the same momentum? If it gets more than two seasons I honestly have no clue what they're going to do story-wise because pretty much everything is being wrapped up neatly. Ah well, I guess time can only tell

[streaminn]

Clio was, quite frankly, not paid enough for this shit. Being a nurse at Nevermore wasn't always such a bad gig but damn sometimes it really did feel like the universe at large was out to get her. Specifically. She idly wonders if she can find out if a past life had somehow royally screwed her over cause this couldn't just be her own singular bad luck.

She was pretty sure she hadn't done anything to cross any of the more arcane inclined outcasts but honestly one could never be completely sure.

Somehow, some way she is just constantly shadowed by the fucking Addams brood.

Clio was not in the habit of carbon dating herself like Weems so loved to do but she had also attended Nevermore at the same time as Gomez and Morticia. She and Weems would sometimes commiserate about the things they had unintentionally seen and heard during their years as students.

Weems, of course, had it worse than her as she had shared a room with Morticia but Clio hadn't lucked out much better given that she shared a wall with Gomez. Sounded like a damn active construction site.

All that to say that Clio had her fair share of Addams eccentricities and above all else: Addams courting rituals.

If she were still the academic she was as a student she would have loved to study the various steps for the ritual and the origination of said steps. But she wasn't.  Instead, when Weems took over as Headmistress and offered her a job as a nurse, she devoted herself to making sure none of these knuckle-headed idiots got themselves killed during the course of the year.

And damn did these assholes try.

(For all her talk, she took her role seriously. She remembers the names of every child who has passed under her care. Every student she has failed. Every grieving family that entrusted her with their safety. She knows each and every one of them and quietly she grieves for them all.)

Despite having been a nurse for some years now and despite being far too acquainted with the Addams and their "quirks"... she has to admit that the Addams girl standing in front of her is perhaps the most interesting of her ilk.

"So to make sure I'm understanding this correctly, you are asking me to write up what amounts to a 'get out of jail free card' for the use of what is quite literally one of the most lethal poisons we keep on hand?" she asks, though she's pretty sure what answer she's gonna get.

"Correct."

Yeah that's what she thought.

"Not happening." without another word she turns around to at least attempt to focus back in on the paperwork piling up on her desk.

She expects an argument. Something purely logical that befits the scion of such an ancient bloodline. What she gets instead sets off blaring red sirens in her head.

"Please."

She whips around in her seat fast enough to nearly unbalance her. There is no way she heard that correctly. Wednesday Addams does not do "polite". She's willing to entertain this further if only for the sake of her curiosity.

"Alright, I'll bite." she says. The girl goes to speak but she silences her with a raise of her finger. "I'll only write the script and deal with the ensuing hell that will be raised if you tell me why. No bullshit answers, Addams, we both know I'll see right through it."

Clio watches as her words sink into the young girl's head. It's interesting and definitely amusing watching this young one struggle with what she remembers her parents being oh so happy to willingly (and loudly) share.

Yes, Clio is fully aware that Wednesday is asking for wolfs-bane and nightshade extract as some sort of ingredient in her courting of Enid. Yes, she is fully aware that the two have grown extraordinarily close after what happened the semester before. And, yes, she is also aware the Enid is probably very unaware of the fact that the Addams scion is attempting to court her. She is completely aware of all of these things but also her job gets boring and this seems like it'll keep her entertained for at least the semester.

It seems during her musings , Wednesday was finally able to gather her words.

"As I am sure you have already gleaned, I am planning to pursue a courtship with Enid. Part of my family's rituals requires that we take that which could harm both ourselves and our intended and use it in a way that expresses our desire to keep them safe from that harm. Obviously due to her being a werewolf, wolfs-bane would be require for this portion of the courtship." Wednesday explains in the detailed manner that Clio has come to expect from her.

"Fair enough." is all she says as she searches her desk for where she put her script papers.

There is silence between the two as she writes down her permission for the use of both poisons and the amounts she was approving. She hands over the small form but keeps a grip on it, not yet relinquishing.

"A word of advice, Ms. Addams?" she offers.

Wednesday tilts her head slightly in acquiesce.

"Don't overthink things with Enid. I'm not saying you can't make things special or to not go above and beyond for her. I'm saying that sometimes the fastest way between two points is a straight line. Be direct. Too much room to interpret can lead to miscommunication." she says. She hopes she understands what she's telling her.

Wednesday stares at her for a moment and Clio can feel that her words have gotten through. Good. While she looks forward to the entertainment of watching an Addams court a wolf like Enid, she doesn't want either of them to struggle unnecessarily. That would just be cruel.

The young Addams goes to leave and a thought catches her attention.

"Ah, before you go." she calls out.

Wednesday pauses at the threshold of her infirmary.

"I remember your father almost tearing his hair out trying to figure out what to do for his Gift. Wolves have their own history that was often passed down orally through stories. Enid strikes me as the kind of girl who loves a happy ending. Maybe take a stroll through the mythology sections of the library. Worst comes to worst, you could always reach out to her father and see which stories she liked to hear growing up. Take some inspiration from them." she says, feigning nonchalance.

The goth glances back at her before fully taking her leave.

Clio hopes that her nudges work. She feels a certain kinship with the two. Outcasts among outcasts as they are. Wednesday an Addams who as a whole tend to put even fellow Outcasts on edge. Enid a late bloomer and now a Grimwolf. Herself as a clairvoyant, specifically a mind-reader. All three of them mistrusted for one reason or another. She shouldn't have favorites among the students but even she has to admit she tends to let things slide a lot more when it comes to those two.

She thinks to herself that the two would make a cute couple.

(And she's right... for a time.)

I think diving into what Morticia and Gomez were like during Nevermore is so fun. They're so much more open and dramatic with their feelings.

(Lore Dump: Clio is a long-suffering old friend of both Morticia and Gomez. She didn't have much control over her abilities at the start of attending Nevermore so she was constantly bombarded with everyone's thoughts.

She stumbled across Morticia while looking for somewhere quiet to hide. Tish had such control over her thoughts that even Clio couldn't read them and it was like a breath of fresh air being around her.

Clio got to know Gomez cause they were next door to each other and Gomez thinks so loud she could hear him through the walls. It was only ever opera music though which she thought was weird as hell but after a while she kinda developed a taste for it so.)

Okay this is all cute and games but knowing that Wenclair lost contact made me think what Wednesday did backfired badly

I'M HOPING IT DIDN'T BUT I DO LOVE THE WORD BUILDING

Rip to clio bc Gomez is a very full hearted person so you bet so are his thoughts

[aeskanera]

My personal ranking of Kotor companions from most to least favourite:

Juhani - naturally the top spot goes to the first lgbt+ character in star wars media. we love a lil lesbian

Mission Vao - this is my child, goes without saying

T3-M4 - he beeps! he goes deet deet! he has a flamethrower! he cost like a thousand credits though hence the third place ranking

Hanharr - so I know no one ranks him very highly ever or talks about him cause it’s actually pretty hard to get him in a play through but like. if you can find his dialogue options online and read through all his conversations I would so recommend it. He is absolutely fascinating whether you’re giving LS or DS answers and he’s an extraordinarily interesting character study (as are all the Kotor II characters but he’s a particularly underrated one). They took a lot of elements of Zaalbar but also Juhani and really fleshed them out and since Juhani’s my fav it makes sense I’d like him

Canderous Ordo - bioware let me romance him I’m begging you on hands and knees. that being said I know my opinion of him is biased for this reason so to be objective he’s a few spots down

Atton Rand - normally I don’t get the obsession when tumblr goes nuts for the most average men but like. i get it this time. Especially because he’s not average he’s arguably the most nuanced and complex star wars character to exist, even more so than Kreia (to me) with insane depth and his romance is certainly the best written romance in star wars. but also this man doesn’t shower

Mira - I feel like sis never gets enough credit for definitely (in my mind) being down bad for female exile. like she fully rejects male exile if he comes on to her and then when she comments to the other girls like “back off he’s mine” she follows up with clarifying that if anyone is going to turn him in for a bounty it’s her. and if female exile asks if Mira knows anything about men Mira’s just like “I know how to hunt them for bounties. What else could you possibly need them for.” and when you read her thoughts she only wonders how male exile still looks so young but for a female exile she specifically is like “she’s just so naturally beautiful” cue hearteyes. That being said her being wlw is not canon and she absolutely reeks of performative third wave feminism

Kreia - Kreia, sis, take a chill pill. wonderful, fascinatingly written character and all but like. damn. also middle of the list for being a parasocial mother figure to me in all the good ways and the bad. She would be lower but she was a fucking beast in combat plus carrying on the Star Wars legacy of losing hands in lightsaber duels

Carth Onasi - they said cookie cutter hero even down to the dead wife but also give this man the worst trust issues you’ve ever seen and make him awful at flirting. I did not know the game pseudo forces you into his romance even if you reject him, cause I’ll not lie the first time I played through the game his awkward and downright terrible rizz captivated me. but also if I didn’t give Mira a free pass for product-of-its-time writing, it’s not fair if I don’t also judge Carth for that so like negative points for pushy sexism

Visas Marr - don’t like that if you’re a male exile it forces you to have only saved her life out of sexual desire no matter what you say about it. and if we’re judging Carth’s romance for that, we have to judge this too. plus she’s so bad in fights, I don’t know what it was but I could never get her to stay conscious for any fights even low level ones no matter what I did in a play through. But also my darling with the best fashion taste in these entire games. Shy lil sweetheart who also fully was preparing to slit your throat. Like I love her, the uselessness as a companion is fully the reason she’s so low

Bastila Shan - she is as preachy as everyone says and it’s so much worse when you learn she’s supposed to be like 20 years old (which yikes x1000 for male Revan) but even with female Revan I was always willing to overlook the preachiness as a character thing back when I thought she was closer to the same age as Revan, like in her 30s or close to equals at least. But it does become much harder to overlook the arrogance and lectures when this snotrag is like at least a decade younger than you. also what even is battle meditation it’s a stupid power. but I cannot deny the mommy issues did make me relate hard plus now that legends isn’t canon (not that it ever was) that means legends is whatever I want it to be so in my brain Bastila is at least 30

Zaalbar - I want to like him so much more than I do. He’s just I think one of the worst cases of Kotor I having a very limited system of good and evil so like all of the nuance that his character could have is pretty straightforwardly handled and very black and white

Jolee Bindo - take notes Kreia on the superior grey jedi (even though I ranked him so much lower than her lol). but yeah mad props for being the only true grey jedi to exist in these games, at least when you first meet him. I just unfortunately have adhd and since his whole character and all his interactions are just longwinded war stories, I get very bored very quickly. (and yes Canderous is similar but his stories are shorter and don’t make up his entire relationship with Revan and also I want to romance him)

Bao-Dur - we love to see disability rep just would be nice if I could have more than like three conversations with him. as great a setup and backstory as the rest of the Kotor II companions and then they do basically nothing with him even if he learns Force wielding

HK-47 - he’s mostly so far down because I think he’s extremely overrated. like he as a character is fun but he’s treated like the greatest cleverest writing to have ever existed when it’s literally just the same two jokes over and over again

Mical the Disciple - I do love him actually but yeah everyone’s not wrong about him being the blandest most milquetoast nerd to have ever existed. I do have affection in my heart for him but unfortunately he must also lose brownie points for replacing Dvakvar, an infinitely cooler character

Brianna the Handmaiden - this girl would have bullied me in high school I think

Dvakvar Grahrk - why did they replace this cool alien with yet another boring human. clearly they did not think it would be believable that Atton would be jealous of an alien’s relationship with f!exile or else he’d have been more jealous of Bao-Dur as well. star wars made aliens only to hate on them and quite frankly I would like to have recruited and possibly (depending on the quality of footage that could have existed) even romanced Dvakvar. Unfortunately because we know next to nothing about him he must come at the bottom of the list. RIP to what could have been

G0-T0 - I literally forgot about him at first, I simply do not care about this thing

Honorary mention: Bao-Dur’s Remote - he’s just a lil guy that zooms around! no flaws nothing but perfection. would be number one if I considered him an full companion. Also honorary mention to Trask Ulgo, gone but not forgotten

[distortedkilling]

Mahito's value in cursed spirits I feel like goes through its own evolution. Something I've mentioned in another post but I still have thoughts on.

While with his gaggle of fucks, he's much more influenced to keep in mind the bigger picture beyond himself. The understanding of 'sacrifice for the greater good or evil' in terms of the 'bust Sukuna out' plan is one he wholly has no issue with. He'll die for a cause, no biggie, right? He reflects the ugliest parts of humanity back upon them but he gets along with curses who embrace their true nature. A willingness to be awful and be all the things Mahito is born from - the only things he knows how to be. Even if for the majority of his role he only acts upon the hatred and the satisfaction he gets out of generating negativity (hatred, fear, mistrust, disgust especially) in others. It isn't until his end that he finally experiences what he has always been suspicious of (betrayal) and what he has always instilled in the majority of others (fear).

To circle back though, the willingness to die for a cause is on the table. Especially when the others are present and willing to do the same. His confidence that his squad can handle surviving Gojo I think highlights his regard for the others. This isn't in the sense of, 'oh, Mahito is baby girl - so much softer than we think!' because no, he's an awful evil little fuck. But even with all his fuckery, it's a shining moment that he has enough regard about some others.

And in addition to that, while I think Mahito sort of regards the loss of his chucklefucks in his own way, I don't think it's in the same sentimental manner humans do. It's more of an awareness that guides him into doubling down. The plan to get Sukuna is done with, tossed out and trashed. His gang is dead (save for Geto). The disaster curses all instilled in him a confidence that he was their best chance of turning the tide and giving curses the advantage in the world again.

Only now he has no bumper rails to guide him down the alley. Mahito is still young, he's selfish and impulsive - most of all, he's hungry for his own growth. To understand the entirety of his own soul. And I think that's where things get really interesting. The plan becomes becoming the best/worst curse he can be in order to succeed. It means going down a new path suddenly, without restraint, to accomplish the mission. There's nothing he can do about his crew being dead now, but he can become more. Just like they knew he could be.

I'm not going to sit here and say it's a selfless gesture on Mahito's behalf, that would be silly. But I think there's an interesting acknowledgement within it of his evolving maturity as he grows into himself very quickly.

In a way, Todo's speech to Itadori on lingering over the dead and how it can be insulting to them is something that can be applied to Mahito, too. Even if he could feel agony over the matter, it would still be disrespectful to the efforts vs just getting the fucking job done.

Then you also adopt further parallels into Mahito's growth such as:

I get the difference between s1 frame being domain-related, but the way the scenes are styled with Mahito looking up and Itadori pursuing down I really love. Because on one hand, Mahito is realizing an 'oh shit' moment because he knows his disadvantage (surprised by Itadori and because of that awareness regarding what is about to happening with Sukuna). Whereas on the other, he's grown more confident in his abilities to combat Itadori. Domain be damned - it won't be a repeat of last time.

I think Mahito, despite his youth, was put in charge specifically because of the type of curse he is. Not just human born and therefore extraordinarily potent to their enemies. More specifically, because they knew if anything happened to them they could count on Mahito's nature and desires, left to run rampant, to get things done.

And to be fair, they were right. He did. He succeeded in a lot of ways. I mean that both with the gang, on his own, and even after Geto slurped him up just by extension of Mahito's technique. In the end, curses were victorious even at the cost of all of them.

Mahito may have laughed and been thrilled at the brink of death in s1, but after his growth and truly being pushed he felt the same fear he has instilled in so many. He discovered the value of his own life and purpose and wanted to see it through. His acceptance to die for this cause was one that still existed, it was just more potent when the crew was alive. It was especially more potent when it was the idea of, "hey, we won! Sukuna is out! And now he's killing us, whatever, we did our job." Loss became much harder to face the reality of when it came from someone you hate (Itadori), then when it came from someone you liked but could never fully trust (Geto). As well, the loss of what had been just recently gained - the true understanding of himself.

I think it's very easy to consider Mahito as, "Evil Fuck" because that's what he is. But there's nuances to all things, and I feel like not acknowledging the bare minimum of that - as in, curses have souls, discredits their characterization and the entire point of them/their personalities.

[fishedeyelenz]

*flies into the window*

I-... I NEED YOUR EXPERT OPINION IF YOU'RE NOT TOO BUSY!

So!

I know that DILF!Billy hates/scared/generally avoids kids (and it's pretty dangerous to leave him with them, we all know), that's fair enough, but... Let's suppose that in one BEAUTIFUL day a wild 14 year old homeless kiddo wanders into his attic or basement, maybe escaping from an orphanage or hiding from the cops after stealing food from the store or it's just a idk freeze outside. And Billy of course has chased them away in every way possible, but this little devil keeps finding way back (because they like to annoy him and steal his stuff) and even dares to hang out with Billy's cats!

And I wonders... What are the chances that they would have become like... Half enemy half friends? Is that even possible? Or nah, that's some pink dreams? I'm by no means talking about any parental relationship or anything like that, ahah, fuck no, never, BUT specifically... Um... About little random communications of two inherently similar strange creatures, just one damn young and wild and other damn old and... Well... "The Billy".

Actual Dilf Billy Lenz ???!!!

Maria you can't do this to me. You just can't. I'm such a sucker for found family, but especially like when the accidental caretakers of the younger members are criminals/fucked up/not really suited to take care of them but they only have each other in this godforsaken world (the members of gorillaz+ noodle but ESPECIALLY Noodle and Murdoc, Eda and Luz from the owl house, the cast of cowboy bebop and ed (yes they are family in my eyes!!!) etc, etc)

So uh, my mind says it would never work, but my heart... but my heart says "found family <3333" so uh... I actually think that if the child was stubborn enough to stick with Billy, they would actually develop a pseudo father-child relationship. Like it would take some time don't get me wrong , and the relationship would be far from perfect and always fractured (think Murdoc and Noodle from gorillaz if you're familiar with them, except Billy is not an alcoholic lmao ), but yeah there could be some room for genuine "paternal" care and love. Though it would take some time for Billy to be okay with the child, because fourteen is the exact same age Agnes was when she ran away from him so uh... trauma. Even more so if Billy finds them in the basement...

But yeah, a strange sort of on-and-off kinda parent child relationship is likely to develop. This might not have been what you were asking for but oh well i got soft thinking about "actual dad" Dilf Billy. I will say it would be the best for the child to have some other influences other than the crazy, nasty old creep that lives on the edge of the forest lmao. And it would be best for Billy to have someone else take care of the kid every once in a while lol. But the fact that Billy wouldn't have to take care of them as like a baby would also mean their relationship could be an emotionally warmer one because the child's self sufficiency wouldn't burden Billy as much. Also, when Billy stops seeing them as a version of Agnes he would be like "14??? that's almost like a smaller, dumber adult I can kick back, relax and share a beer with" (Billy NO-)

[builtlikeastickofcelery]

get up cocksuckers were personalposting on main !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i can literally and viscerally feel the end of my relationship coming??????????????????????????????????? and like,,,,,,,,,i knew it obviously bc we're young and were pretty different but DAMN i did not think it would Hurt like this bc it never has bc i never emotionally attach myself (to romantic relationships specifically on purpose!!!!!!!!! like jesus christ we should be similar on paper but no !!!!!!!! our senses of humor are completely different and that is the only way i know how to connect with people !!!!!!!!!!!!! what the fuck am i supposed to do????????? and theyre always telling me i shoulld probably get a therapist, or get medication, etc etc and !!!! i cannot do those things!! i have tried!!!!!!! but i dont want to say that to them bc their last (really really shitty ex) was the type of person to say things that were obvious cries for help and then brush them off for some sort of attention and i have been repeatedly told that there is nothing i need treatment for by doctors !!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont know what to do.

also its fair to mention that they are Pretty White and have a very different family dynamic to mine, which, despite being very minimally east asian is still pretty east asian, and also that while both our families are solidly upper middle class they live in a higher income area of our town super close to where the rich rich people live and constantly refer to/make jokes about it being better (not on purpose and i don't think they get why it bothers me a little). i dont know how to talk to them about this without sounding like a nepo baby trying to convince the public they were a struggling self-made actor. and ofc if it falls apart itll probably be my fault bc i dont know how to talk to them about things that bother me bc i dont want to be like their shitty and weird and creepy ex (who is in one of my classes and is constantly trying to make eye contact with me and tried to get my number as well).

i like them a lot, and also crushed super bad on them for 6 months before we started dating and two years ago when i met them i sort of liked them aswell, but more and more im realizing that i dont even know if i wanted to be with them or just be them -> be whiter (i have JOURNALED about this!!!!!!!!!!!!) especially when i realize that were different in too many ways and also that i dont know how to be emotionally vulnerable with them specifically bc of that!!!!!!!! a lot of their friends rn are slightly not stable (or really not stable) and i dont know how to say any of this to them without fucking up their mental state. not to mention that october-december was a really shitty time for them last year and also that i dont want to be the one who ends things because i still really super like them but at the same time sort of resent them for having things i want??????????? but not when im with or near them only when im getting insecure in my rroom which has been happening a lot for some reason!!!!! also two of their very close friends (one is a mutual friend of ours but she's closer to them) are both really weird about us dating at least to me, like the mutual friend lied to me about them not liking me for seemingly no reason right before we got together which significantly delayed it and the other.......i dont even know she jsut always gives me weird looks whenever she sees me and whenever i take the bus with them they sit together and she locks me out of the conversation. i also dont know her very well, so idk.

plus my partner has a weird habit of not engaging with me at all whatsoever (as in having a conversation with another person while also sitting fairly far away from me or not talking to me at all annd staring at their phone) but then being annoyed when i dont try to join to conversation or engage with them. its also fair to note that they are allistic and tbh as someone with a lot of adhd/autistic tendencies (i sort of Suspect myself of audhd but i can never be sure) it actually affects the relationship for me which is insane bc usually i dont Feel it like that. like im fairly certain i mask ??????/ (again no clear diagnosis other than family history of being undiagnosed w/ something) and while i dont mask around my close friends i do still mask, even if its not as heavily, around my partner, who ive known longer than some of those friends. the only time i wasn't masking in some sort of way while we were dating was a day when i was so drained i also ended up sleeping on their couch for like thirty minutes bc i could barely stay awake. i just dont know what to do. in the past ive usually been the person more innvested or into the relationship and i can almost feel that happening again and i dont know why or how.

anyway no pressure t9o reply or annythhing to tthis i just nneeded to get this out into the air

[homenecromancer]

not tagging this on to a reblog because i don't actually disagree with this post, this one specific clause just felt like having a wet dishcloth dropped on me

I can't tell you how many ostensibly earnest posts I've seen bemoaning how no one is horny in books anymore, how no one is fucked up in books anymore.... when horny, fucked up books are the bread and butter of BookTok, my god.

here i'll repeat and highlight the specific phrase

bread and butter of BookTok

look, i'll be the first person to tell you that i have harbored contrarian tendencies since, like, infancy, so the fact that i do not use a particular service shouldn't be a surprise to anyone.

but like... bestie. i don't even watch the tiktoks my long-suffering best friend curates for me. why do you think i would know what that site thinks about books.

sure, i have seen specific books that seem to have... escaped containment from the general "whatever it is that goes on over there" on tiktok. i have completely unfounded opinions on ~the vibes~ i get about what i believe goes on over there. (summary: in internet years i am old. tiktok is For The Youths. the books i see mentioned in conjunction with tiktok, generally, seem to also be For The Youths. and sometimes also in the YA genre. fair enough)

i get 100% of my book recommendations from three websites, all of which are at least one degree of separation from tiktok. (there are clearly people on each site who do use tiktok, but like... it's Tumblr, a web forum, and a fucking journal site community, in some ways i am posting from circa 2014 here.) i prefer to not know or care what "BookTok" is up to, unless it's funny, because yeah okay i do love drama.

like as long as i'm being honest here, i am not terribly connected with the world of what new books are coming out, whether or not those books are big on tiktok. i've been too busy being depressed and reading a lot of, like. Philip K. Dick and Tim Powers

...

oh while i'm posting, the rise of tiktok as the Young People Media Site has been funny/irritating for me personally because everything about it is obnoxious to me:

you can't see how long a video is while watching it. people talk at the wrong speed for me to understand them. closed captioning either does not exist or must be provided by the OP -- in which case, it may be censored ~because of the algorithm~. i'm not getting my damn headphones just to find out that "omg the audio i canttttt" is just some meme-y sound clip. i'm not photogenic. can't watch a video at the same time i'm doing something else; catching up on things feels like an insurmountable chore. figuring out a new social media site sounds like death. people film me in public for internet clout.

when tumblr eventually dies i'll just get real into hiking or something, i can't deal with social media that leans that heavily on video

[poisonedapples]

for the ask game, 2, 16, 19, 27, 30, 33, 37 for any OC(s) you want! dealers choice! (if you have any oc in mind for a specific question or multiple oc's per question)

I’m gonna do a lot of these with my newer OCs from a show idea I have because that’s the thing haunting my brain:

2. Can your oc play any instruments? Have they ever wanted to learn how to play any? Why?

Miles: He does know how to play guitar and hasn’t really tried to pick up anything else. He definitely tried to play bass for like three days before giving up though, because he wanted to be the “cool dude in the band” and just. Hated it

Cadence: Knows a little bit of guitar also because it was passed on to her from her parents. She wants to get a ukulele someday though because she loves ukuleles

16. How often does your oc lie? Why is that? What was the biggest lie they’ve ever told?

Miles: He lies constantly, but usually not about serious things. He’s just the main caregiver of a child and makes up wild shit for the fun of it. But his biggest lie was probably that he was spending his college funds on his rent

Teddy: He doesn’t LIE very much, but he dodges the question with vague answers that aren’t answers, which Sanders Sides has taught me is still a lie of omission. His biggest lie is a part of his backstory that I still don’t QUITE have all figured out

Agnes: She lies a LOT, but it’s more because she’s scared of mundane things having dire consequences, so she lies about finishing a bag of granola. And considering she’s 6, her biggest lie was probably saying she didn’t break a vase or something

19. If your oc were to be arrested for something, what would it be for? For being too kind, for a legitimate crime?

Fair warning, these ones will be a little dark since the story these characters are from is darker than things I usually post. But it’s not in detail:

Miles: Definitely arrested for possession of illegal drugs. It’s a miracle he got as far as he did to be honest

Roxanne: Murder. She is a ball of anger and vengeance and will still JUMP at the opportunity to kill a Certain Man

Cadence: Trespassing. It’s her Thing that she goes into abandoned creepy buildings and some people don’t like that

Sally: She WAS arrested for being a witch, because she’s from that part of history. So for her it’s not a hypothetical fkshdkshs

27. What’s your oc’s preferred mode of transportation? Walking, vehicle, (or in a sci-fi/magic setting) teleportation?

Roxanne: Motorcycle, or a car going 100 over the limit. She lives on the edge man

Teddy: Walking. He couldn’t do it often when he was alive because American towns are just Like That, but he loves to just walk around and think his thoughts. It’s his personal time

Cadence: Bicycle. She’s too young for a driver’s license and bikes are very convenient for Sneaking Out Purposes

30. How much does your oc swear? Or do they keep completely clean? Why is this? Is there any situation where they would be the opposite?

Agnes: Never swears. She is six

Cadence: Swears, but not often and only words like “hell” or “damn”, very tame. Her parents don’t swear around her so she just hasn’t picked up that habit

Teddy: Fuck is his favorite word. It’s a good sentence enhancer. If he sees a moment to say fuck he will say fuck

Josh: He swears kinda often, but he’s the type of person that even if him swearing isn’t RARE it just sounds unnatural

Roxanne: She is an angry ball of FIRE who knows ten words and nine of them are swears. It enhances her yelling. She loves the unhinged chaos ability it gives hee

Sally: Never swears. She’s a very pure soul and also comes from a time where it was “improper lady behavior”, so she never picked up the habit

Miles: Swears occasionally when there’s no kids around. He’s very stuck in his dad habit of “child is near, I must switch all of my vernacular” and it shows. He does love a good “shit” out there though

33. How does your oc’s own perception of themselves compare to how other people see them? Is your oc aware that other people see them differently (if it’s different)?

Teddy: He thinks he’s an awful and unforgivable person. He has a LOT of self worth issues and very rarely thinks kind thoughts about himself. The others think he’s a chill dude who can just get carried away sometimes, but Teddy blows his negatives out of proportion

Miles: Once again, thinks he’s an irredeemable person. He thinks he’s a terrible father who’s fucked up too much to go back, and holds a lot of guilt for how he lived his life. Agnes thinks he’s an amazing person and trusts him with all her soul, the others think he’s a fuckup trying his best

Roxanne: She sees herself as weak, that her badass persona is just for show and not what she actually is despite wanting to be it. Meanwhile, Teddy is scared shitless of her and the others think she’s a badass fighter. Agnes wants to be like her

37. How picky is your oc? Will they not accept something because of the smallest details being off, or do they not care in the slightest? Why?

I think everyone would mostly be indifferent? I guess it would depend on the thing, but the only thing I can think of is Agnes having a Child Palette and only eating certain foods and having a Daily Apple Juice

[nanawaffles]

What is the worst thing you have done to a character? What is the worst thing you have seen someone else do to a character? Who was the one who did it?

Hmm.... worst thing... my definition is probably not the same as most buuuut I'd say was the time I stuck with a ship i had pre- planned instead of the one that suited the character better. Like that haunts me to this day to such a point that I recently came across the same issue in my new project and had to rewrite cause i didn't wanna get haunted again.

In the proper definition of "worst" however... I'd say the current thing I'm doing to a character. Her name is Mercedes and she's a seamstress, and I'm basically gonna toss her into an otherworldly arena where they put humans against various monsters for sport and if you live you get to fight another day. Literally fight, basically you're stuck killing monsters until either you die or you figure out how to escape. Oh and as a side effect of this you get what's called Orkruz or "sight" so that you see the other dimension in the main dimension as well. Aka you now see all the monsters everywhere. She's gonna nearly go insane before she adjusts. 😇

Moving on. Okay so this also comes in multiple tiers. Worst thing i believe is a writer either completely butchering a creative chance of potential because their character is just "so cool" they come across as being the absolute worst. I saw a girl write a "strong princess" this way, but it just ended up that she kept breaking hearts and decided to pursue her best friends lover in the end. Like... butcher a highly potential character why don't you.

Another special tier in my mind for those who write a good character but then for some reason decide to halfway through decide you don't want them as a main character or love interest, because person B over here is hotter, and so you do character annihilation and absolutely wreck what made them good to prop up person B. Am i speaking of a specific character? Yes. I'm still fucking salty.

Okay third bracket which is what i think you mean. I have two friends who are literally trauma twins, i s2g. What do they do? One of them had her character watch his parents get butchered at a young age, went completely wild like boyo had gone so off the deep end as a result that he killed and ate raw rabbits and his personality schismed into his regular tame self and this blood covered little boy he'd talk to in times of stress. He was a darling normally which made the crazy part of him so damn eerie and surreal, like he would get in fights and unless someone intervened, that blood thirsty part of him would come to the surface and he'd just destroy his enemy in the bloodiest of ways while talking in a child voice. I s2g, I've never recovered and it's been 10 years. Second friend has an immortal, and oh my God i swear she's got stories for this guy-- to be fair, he's a canon character who did some messed up shit, but still-- like he's an elf, right, who for example has to kill his own nephew who is impaled as a mercy killing. She's got another one that was imprisoned and tortured so long by a dark lord, that he's just very very very broken but at the same time he's also (if my memory serves me right) got amnesia and doesn't recall who he is fully. Like he got tortured into brain damage that's what you're telling me.

Who was the one who did it? .... weeeeeellllllllllllll daaamn asking me to out people. I think i pretty much outed them anyway with the exception of that one character I'm salty about. *clears throat* it was Sarah J. Maas your honor. The character is Tamlin, who I really really like-- and AM STILL PISSED CAUSE SHE MADE MY LOVE FOR HIM FEEL CHEAP AND WORTHLESS-- but who in my opinion was the victim of a lazy writer who could've gone back when she realised Rhysand was gonna be the ML (though God only knows why, that bastard BROKE FEYRES ARM Y'ALL WTF) aaand just *made him the ML* but noooooo she chose the low road of forcing Tamlin into character disfigurement turning him into first a puppet then a dick. Like...*hisses* I'll stop. I'll stop. It makes me so mad.

[ithisatanytime]

ZAMAGI / It's So Good Now (い・そ・ぐ・な)

oh i forgot the whole reason i wanted to make that post was to talk about an interview i saw with sean conducted by some young woman, the whole time he was just being horny as hell, everything was about sex, and she was totally into it to be fair, but its a kind of horniness thats really specific to jewish men, imagine sean strickland during the interview just pulled his weiner out and started pouting with tears in his eyes and whining like a puppy “p-pwease s-s-suck!” i mean it works for him because hes in the UFC but its just fucking gross to me, like you know how ladies you will be talking to a guy and you are just trying to have a normal one maybe you havent fucked even once yet, and hes in your dms and you are trying to chit chat about your day and hes like “damn your back must be sore from all that work, and carrying those big boobs around all day haha im just saying thats gotta hurt your back how big are they?” i know you know what im talking about ladies and i have been that guy, but its like that turned up to eleven and constantly. its also evident in their entire persona, every single part of them is carefully constructed so you’ll “p-p-pwease suck it, it hewts!” it comes off as pathetic, i know im broke and fucked up calling millionaires desperate but its such an oddly specific jewish trait that not many pick up on, all men are horny but not in the way jewish men are its kind of bonkers to witness.

 i will say that sean strickland MIGHT be on the level, im gonna give it a 20 percent chance that hes just a well meaning good ole boy from australia who happens to look very very jewish, but tate is fucking iredeemable, and if any of these mystery meet youtube short retards converts your stupid ass to islam you deserve the hell that awaits you

[these-conquered-woodlands]

the wonderful women of hp as incorrect quotes

hermione: ...I'm pretty sure that place is fire-proof, or something. ginny, grenade in hand: Alright, but is it explosion-proof?

-

young minerva, pre-animagus: I wish I was a cat, but not in a furry way, more like a “I can sleep all day and hit people with no consequences” kinda way.

-

Hairdresser: How would you like your hair cut? lily: Preferably with scissors, but a sword would be awesome.

-

bellatrix: When life gives you lemons, what do you do? narcissa: Make lemonade- bellatrix: No, throw them back up in the sky and make life deal with it’s own shit. narcissa:

-

albus: Am I right, minerva? minerva: I’m almost certain you’re not, but to be fair, I don't bother listening to you anymore.

-

cho: War is ...heck.

-

madam pomfrey: *pulls out a rifle* Go to Bed. This is no longer a request, This is now a Threat.

-

bellatrix: If you don't stop this nonsense, I'm going to jump out of that window. andromeda: ...We're on the ground floor. bellatrix: I know but I want a dramatic exit.

-

hermione: I’m not being weird. Am I being weird? luna: Yes, and that’s coming from me.

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tonks: I have met some of the most insufferable people. But they also met me.

-

madam pomfrey: Why Minerva, are you talking to yourself? minerva: Yes minerva: It’s the only way to have an intelligent conversation in this damn castle.

-

andromeda: .. .----. -- / … --- .-. .-. -.-- (translation: I'M SORRY) narcissa: What's that? andromeda: Remorse code. narcissa: I'm even angrier now.

-

hermione: Fruits that do not live up to their names; passionfruit, grapefruit, honeydew and dragonfruit. hermione: Fruits that do live up to their names? hermione: Orange.

-

cho: I hate when people ask me, 'What did you do today?' Buddy listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don't KNOW!

-

alice, skipping rocks on a lake with lily: It’s such a beautiful evening. lily: (under her breath) Take that you fucking lake.

-

walburga, on sirius: My expectations were low but shiiiiiiiiiiiittttt.

-

alice: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.

-

ginny: Why don't humans have a specific noise that means "there are bees here, let's leave immediately." How are elephants more advanced than us? hermione: We do have a specific noise for it. It sounds like this: "There are bees here, let's leave immediately."

-

minerva: Don’t weep for the stupid. You’ll be crying all day.

-

luna: Can I have 2 straws with that milkshake? cho: Aww- luna: With 2 straws, I can drink it double as fast!

-

bellatrix: Maybe the real monster was the friends we both literally and figuratively murdered along the way.

-

ginny: You’re charged with…..breaking into a pet store? luna: I thought the animals might be lonely.

-

molly, waking up her kids, slamming pots and pans together to the rhythm of "Give it to me, I'm worth it": I didn't get no sleep cause a' y'all! Y'all never gonna sleep cause a' me!

-

minerva: I’d like to live through a week that’s not a whole new verse of “We Didn’t Start the Fire.”

-

lavender: I like wearing oversized sweaters. Not just because they're extremely comfy and cuddly, but because whenever the sleeves are really big, I get to flop them around and smack people.

-

narcissa: I'm going to ask you to be respectful. andromeda: And I will respectfully decline.

-

cho: Bottling up negative emotions is bad for your health, so you shouldn't do it. cho: That's why I bottle up all my emotions, both positive and negative, so it cancels out.

-

lily, furious: What do you mean we have homework tonight? I have books to read.

-

mad-eye: Can we talk about that letter you sent to the group? tonks: Why? It was important. mad-eye: All it says is, "I'm back on my bullshit". tonks, shrugging: The people need to know.

-

andromeda: If I can't cause near ruin and disgrace for my family everyday just by existing, I think I'll collapse from the shame.

-

luna: I hate how you're just born out of nowhere, and you're forced to go to school and get education so you can get a job. What if I wanted to be a duck? No one ever asked me if I want to be a duck.

-

lily: I did it! I memorized everything in the book! I'm gonna ace this test! alice: Ok, , I'll give you one more question before you go. What ended in 1918? lily: 1917. alice: ...You're ready.

-

ginny, to draco: If you can ever manage to get over yourself, I would highly recommend being me.

-

madam pomfrey: Why are we so awesome? minerva: That's the best goddamn question anyone's ever asked.

[storiesforallfandoms]

haunted house ~ billy loomis;scream

word count: 1489

request?: no

description: when his girlfriend is terrified by a haunted house, billy promises to protect her no matter what

pairing: billy loomis x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

*to celebrate the start of spooky season!*

I looked up at the abandoned building turned haunted house. I don’t know who decided it was a good idea to make a haunted house out of a place that was supposedly haunted. I definitely don’t know what possessed me to go with my group of friends to the damn haunted house either.

“Do you think we’ll see, like, an actual ghost or something?” Tatum asked as we waited in line to enter the haunted house. “What if we see an actual dead body and we just think it’s a prop?”

“What if we get possessed?” Stu added. Tatum giggled excitedly and leaned into him.

“We’re not gonna get possessed,” Randy said. “Or see any dead bodies or ghosts. The place is an old abandoned home, not a murder site.”

“Not that we know of,” Stu whispered to Tatum, causing her to giggle again.

I crossed my arms and looked up at the scarily decorated building. Not that it was something I was about to admit to my horror crazy friends, but I was terrified to go into the haunted house. I hated haunted houses, I always did. I went once as a young child with my parents and some asshole thought it would be funny to chase after a five year old with a fake chainsaw. I didn’t know it was fake at the time of course cause, you know, I was five.

Noticing my discomfort, Billy put an arm around my waist and pulled me to him. “Hey, don’t listen to Stu. We won’t see any ghosts or dead bodies, it’s just gonna be a harmless haunted house.”

“Harmless, sure,” I said, trying my best to smile at him.

Stu and Tatum excitedly ran into the haunted house once we got to the front of the line. I could hear Tatum scream the moment she passed through the door, which only made my stomach turn even more.

Randy entered next, followed by an also hesitant Sydney. I was glad not to be the only one who wasn’t excited by this idea. When it came to me and Billy, I was also hesitant at first. Billy pulled on my arm slightly, finally getting my legs to move.

The minute we walked through the door, the air was stuffy from the fog. The lights were so dim that I could barley make out the figures of my friends in front of me or Billy beside me. There was a bright, blinking strobe light that showed the outlines of the bodies around us; whether they were real people or just dummies I couldn’t tell.

The first scare was some kid jumping out from a room wearing a Jason Voorhees mask wielding a fake machete. I screeched and clung to Billy’s arm as he laughed and kept walking. I could hear screaming from the other attendees and jeers from the people playing the characters.

Billy’s hand slipped from mine and my panic began to rise. I still couldn’t see very well and now the strobe lights were starting to disorient me. I just wanted to get to the end and to go home.

I had my arms around myself, as if that would protect me, when a group of kids ran past me, giggling and screaming. They startled me slightly, but not as much as one of the haunted house workers jumping out at me, a mask over his face and a fake chainsaw in his hands. Flashbacks to my first haunted house played before my eyes as I screamed and covered my face. I backed away until I hit a wall, but my attacker kept coming, chainsaw raised over his head. I began to sob in terror as it became evident that the chainsaw wielding maniac wasn’t backing away.

“Hey man! Get the fuck away!”

I recognized Billy’s voice as the chainsaw finally shut off. Through the dim light I could see Billy shoving my attacker away before kneeling down next to me.

“She’s fucking crying, alright? That means back the fuck up and leave her alone!” he snapped as he knelt down next to me. “Are you okay, babe?”

I shook my head, unable to speak due to my sobbing. Billy put an arm around me and pulled me to my feet.

“Keep your head ducked, I’ll get us out of here,” he said.

I tucked my head against shit shoulder as he led me out of the haunted house. I jumped with every scare that came at us, but for the most part I was able to avoid any further upset. Once we walked out through the exit door, I took a deep breath and savored the fresh air in my lungs.

Stu and Tatum were already out and basically dry humping on the fence as they waited for us. Tatum shoved Stu away as Billy and I approached, eyeing me specifically. “What happened to you?”

I shook my head. “I d-don’t wanna t-talk about it.”

“Man, they really got you, huh (Y/N)?” Stu asked. “Which was it? Was it the dude with his guts spilling out everywhere?”

“Leave her alone,” Billy said. “I’m gonna take (Y/N) home, I’ll meet up with you guys later.”

“Awe, why do you guys gotta be such party poopers?” Tatum asked, but Billy ignored her as he brought me to his car.

I looked at myself in the sun visor mirror. My eyes were bloodshot and puffy and my nose was as red as a tomato. I could see the tear streaks now stained on my flushed face. I looked like hell, or at least that I had been to Hell and back.

“You don’t have to drive me home, Billy,” I said when he got into the driver’s seat. “I can call my parents to give me a run home.”

“It seems like you need someone besides your parents right now,” he said. “Besides, I’m not jumping to spend the night with a sexed up couple, my ex-girlfriend, and the horror movie aficionado who would likely talk about how lame that haunted house was the whole night.”

This was enough to put a small smile on my face. Billy smiled back at me and started driving towards my house.

The beginning of the ride was silent besides the static sounds of Billy’s car radio. I rolled down the window to let the air blow on my warm face. I sighed, a sense of guilt eating away at me still for pulling Billy away from our friends.

“Wanna talk about it?” he asked.

“Not really,” I responded.

“Okay, then we don’t have to talk about it.”

It was something I appreciated about Billy. He respected my wishes and didn’t push me further than I wanted to go. There’s not a lot of guys, or a lot of people for that matter, that would do that.

“I hate haunted houses,” I said, resting my head against the seat. “My parents took me to my first one when I was a kid and I got chased by a guy who had a fake chainsaw, like the guy who cornered me back there. That shit stuck with me, I’ve never been to a haunted house since. Not until tonight anyways.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? We didn’t have to go.”

“Cause you seemed so excited by it, and everyone else was going. I didn’t think it would be that bad until I lost you and had a repeat of that episode from when I was five.” I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. “God, why couldn’t I just fucking get over it?”

“Being traumatized isn’t exactly something you get over,” Billy said. “You were a kid brought into an environment where a kid should never be.”

We pulled up to my house and Billy reached over to put his hand on mine. I looked up at him and smiled. It was nearly impossible to be upset when I had such an amazing guy on my side.

“Next time, I want you to tell me when you don’t want to do something,” he said. “It’s not fair to you, especially if it’s something that will bring up old memories like that.”

“I promise,” I said.

“And I promise to always protect you, no matter what. No one will ever hurt you as long as you have me.”

“I know.”

I leaned forward to kiss him. All the upset I had been feeling just moments before seemed to vanish from my body as his lips pressed against mine. His hand was gently as it caressed my face while the other closed in around my hand.

When I pulled away, I glanced at my house to see that the lights were off, indicating that my parents were likely gone to bed.

“Park down the road and I’ll sneak you in for the night?” I asked.

Billy smiled like a kid on Christmas morning. “Deal.”