#also house was able to connect with the patient

[witchwives]

the very special autism episode of house is undeniably awful but can we just talk about how funny it is that it’s the same episode where house vehemently refuses to work in his office because cuddy replaced his old blood-stained carpet and it gets to the point where wilson suggests that house is on the spectrum himself

[faggot-greg-house]

ppl are too mean to house: a thesis

i saw a post the other day about how house ruins everyone that interacts with him and i went into full on protection mode. so lets talk about this.

yes, house is an asshole! thats a major part of his character. but he's not JUST an asshole, and he isn't a bad person. house cares so so much about his friends and his patients and the life he lives. he cares so much about the people around him, even though it's hard for him to show it! i've talked abt my house abuse thoughts here before but he grew up constantly moving around and never being able to make friends, and he also grew up being abused. it is not at all surprising that he is afraid of connection, of intimacy.

the thing is though - house shows again and again how much he cares. he cares so much about the people around him. he offers to kill thirteen when she can't handle it anymore. he's in love with wilson, even if you only want to see it platonically. he cares about patients. he cares so fucking much, and yet people, in the show ajd in the fandom, constantly try to describe him as someone who doesn't care at all. he doesn't just hurt people for fun.

the reality of the situation is that house has trauma and doesnt have an easy time showing it, and throughout the fandom and the show he is treated as some sort of monster. he deserves better across the board

[pallastrology]

🍄 astro notes 🍄

venus biquintile pluto is a really interesting aspect. the biquintile is usually associated with creativity and the development of artistic ability, and with venus being involved, there is even more potential and a genuine love for art. the native will find happiness and connection through their creative pursuits. with pluto on the other end of the aspect, something interesting happens. there can be a tendency towards obsession; they are more dedicated and more patient, with a strong work ethic and a desire to find meaning through their art, and it can bring them real catharsis. they may discover and nurture repressed parts of themselves through their art, and overall, there is a bit of a darker theme to this otherwise light and bright placement.

moon square pluto is often given a really negative spin online; i’ve seen everything from emotionally out of control to “will abuse their children”! this just isn’t a helpful way to interpret harsh aspects. my experience with this placement is that big emotions are very frightening, often because of the native’s early experiences. they seek to “control” their emotions, which can make them quite vulnerable to impulsive or addictive behaviours. they often have a deep relationship with mother figures, and with their children, which yes, at their worst, can become enmeshed and intense. but at their best, these relationships are intimate and founded on mutual trust, long lasting and able to weather the harshest storms.

venus-saturn aspects are all about delayed gratification. the native has to grow into their loving, creative, social side, and they usually have to "grow through what they go through"; depending on the aspect, they may just feel a little different, or have no interest in relationships, or they may grow up lonely or isolated, or deal with unhealthy relationships. they have to do a lot of self-work to develop self-love and nurture the soft, creative side of themselves, before they can really feel at home around other people. but when they reach that point, they can build beautiful, devoted and ultimately very healthy connections with others, that allow all involved to really thrive.

pluto conjunct ascendant natives have a really intense gaze. i think that usually we only think of the eyes when they think of the pluto stare, but to me it goes a lot further than that; especially with the conjunction, pluto-ascendant people look with their whole body. they have the intense eye contact, sure, but they tend to also have a hard mouth and slightly furrowed brow, a certain tension in their jaws and necks. they look like a cat about to pounce in a way, you can almost see that electrical energy under their skin.

in astrology, the sextile and trine are considered to be harmonious aspects; they denote an easy, well-blended connection between the two planets involved. the sextile is steadier, and more prone to stagnation, which can look like complacency or even entitlement; the trine is more dynamic, meaning in a way, it's easier to bring out the positives of the aspect.

lilith in the tenth house is a placement that is very vulnerable when it comes to social media. nowadays, it's so normalised to post everything that it's almost radical to stay away from it, and with lilith in the tenth house, it's easy to feel validated and vindicated through what they post. unfortuntely they are easy targets for online abuse and can actually feed into and "bait" this kind of harmful interaction when hurting and angry. lilith in the tenth house needs to learn to find healthy outlets and become more reflective, less reactive.

uranus conjunct ascendant natives are bright, almost electrified. they can be prone to sudden epiphanies that show up in strange moments; sitting bolt upright in the middle of the night with a sudden realisation, for example. they can be chaotic, but when given space to breathe, they are brilliant, both in that they are clever and reflective with the energy to pull off everything they think up, and that they seem to sparkle. there is a clarity to their voice, their eyes, like they glow from within.

venus square the north node natives really struggle with being uncomfortable. they tend to be somewhat sensitive, and are irresistibly drawn to the beautiful, the soft and smooth. they just want to be comfortable, but this can lead to the native avoiding or dropping anything uncomfortable. if they want to grow and feel fuller in themselves, they will have to learn to thrive in challenging situations, without going too far in the opposite direction and not being able to listen to their instincts or enjoy anything in life.

libra suns with mercury in scorpio are an interesting mix, because they have the reflective sensitivity of libra and the stark and often quite brutal language of scorpio. they are often quite gifted writers, with a talent for the existential and deeply emotional. they aren’t as talkative as you’d expect a libra sun to be, and they are generally more somber, but with a dry, dark sense of humour and a disarming straightforwardness to them.

[jaevie]

Midday Reverie

Pairing: omega!Jaehyun x alpha!reader

Genre: Enemies to lovers (kind of), omegaverse, slow burn, smut.

Word count: 22.5k

Summary: After moving to the countryside to protect himself from hunters, Jaehyun is finally content: not only he lives away from omega stereotypes, but manages to get himself a job at the local sex shop. Everything is perfect until a huntress comes to town — one that, much to his surprise, is an alpha. And his mate.

Warnings: If you’re big/educated on omegaverse, know that I made the pairing a little non-traditional, with female alpha being able to get impregnated by a male omega. For smut, expect oral and unprotected sex, biting, scenting, toys, shibari, and extreme emotional involvement. This fic also contains mentions of death and descriptions of violence.

N/A: Wow, this was finished way faster than I intended. I hope you enjoy it! ♡

© This fic is an original work by jaevie, 2023. 

After years of running and hiding, Jung Jaehyun could say that, for once in his life, he was happy, safe and free.

The countryside observed his absolute content — a young man with a serene complexion, glasses on his nose and thick black hair caressed by the sea-scented wind — as he walked downtown. Attracted to beautiful things, the sun petted the top of his head. Even the soothing landscapes kept an eye on him: the historical houses carved into the hills, the imponent cliffs, the flower fields extending their arms into the horizon, and the never-ending ocean who occupied itself leaving giggly pecks on the shore, a kiss marked by the whitest foam.

The small town Jaehyun had chosen to live in was graced with more than natural beauties, as a colorful village thrived in the middle, very similar to an artist’s canvas. Medieval but also vibrant, with several shades of bricks decorating the buildings, streets and squares. The air was often dense with the smell of bread coming from the bakery, fresh pasta from the restaurants, and flowers from the shops.

It was such a lovely place. Perfect for an omega.

Although many hurtful lies had been spread about his kind, Jaehyun accepted the truth. He was a gentle soul, patient, understanding and sensitive to other’s feelings. However, he was not what others claimed omegas to be: so weak and submissive he would beg for love and affection; so unable to control himself his hormones would turn him into an animal. And finally, Jaehyun believed, with his entire heart, that he did not need to rely on an alpha to be happy or to find purpose in life. 

So when he noticed how cruel life could be, how omegas were treated unfairly and how the government was paying hunters to keep them under control, Jaehyun ran away. Thankfully, it worked out. 

The small bell on the door rang softly when he stepped in, finding his boss already inside the shop. “Good morning, Jae!” Haechan cooed, expressive brown eyes matching his big grin.

“Good morning!” Jaehyun put his bag aside, noticing a bunch of new boxes on the floor. “I see the packages arrived.”

“These are going to sell like water!” Haechan nearly jumped from excitement. Had he not been human, he was probably going to be an omega too. Sometimes, Jaehyun wished he could actually like Haechan: that the shop owner’s scent edged him on, and that Haechan’s gaze could make him blush. Things would be a lot easier if Jaehyun could fall for a human. “Here are the new plugs, the clit suckers are there, and these…” Haechan opened one of the boxes, removing a toy Jaehyun had never seen. It had two different ends connected by a string: a white vibrator and a clitorial sucker. Yellow, blue and pink flowers were imprinted all over it. Quite honestly, it seemed to match a little girl’s birthday party. “This is the revolution, my friend. It sucks the clit while the vibrator thrusts itself in.”

Jaehyun’s eyes widened. Technology was really wild those days. “Wow!”

“I know! People can use it on their own and with their partners. Amazing, isn’t it?” Then, Haechan handed the toy over. “Here, this one is yours. Use it and give me your opinion. We need honest, accurate reviews.”

Jaehyun swallowed, shifting uncomfortably on his feet as he felt the toy in his hands, rubbing his thumb against the smooth silicone. Perceptive as a fox, Haechan noticed his hesitation. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t have anyone to try this with.” Jaehyun smiled without showing his teeth, dimples coming out shyly. 

“Well, my boy, you can always try. Go out tonight and find yourself a lady. You don’t have to marry her, just a night will do,” Haechan encouraged with gentle taps on Jaehyun’s shoulder.

Deep inside, Jaehyun wished he could explain that his nature was way more complex. He was an omega, and omegas sought to have mates for life. Someone they could trust and thrive with, someone to complement their skills, to be nice to them. To build them a nest and keep them nice and warm. But no one should know about his nature. It was only going to put him in danger. 

Laughing it off, Jaehyun kept his secret buried in his chest. 

Heachan left after checking the storage to meet the marketing agency he had hired, leaving Jaehyun by himself. It was nothing unusual. Most of Jaehyun’s days were spent at the shop, anyway. He put all his efforts into keeping everything neat and being as attentive as he could muster, recommending the best toys for what the customers looked for. There wasn’t a single question he would not reply. At the end of the day, people felt comfortable to open up and listen, because there wasn’t anyone more patient and gentle-mannered than the sex shop’s salesman. And, obviously, comfortable customers made bigger purchases.

That was one of the reasons Haechan loved having Jaehyun as his employee. The other reason was Jaehyun’s looks. He was like an angel, with peachy skin, lively brown eyes, manly eyebrows and broad shoulders; Jaehyun was tall, soft and polite, cultured and humble. Haechan could not even guess how many people in town had a crush on Jaehyun, but he guessed the sales increase after his hiring was not a coincidence.

That day went by as ordinary: Jaehyun’s playlist was on in the shop — slow, melodic R&B tones that got the customers asking the name of the songs —, and a few customers arrived to check on new products. The sun was warm and life was good. Average, ordinary. Jaehyun liked it like an anchor liked to sit at the bottom of the ocean.

But when the bell on the door rang its premonitive chant, Jaehyun lifted his face to meet with the end of his peace.

You smelled like fading into sleep beneath the hot sun. Like an alluring adventure, a midday reverie. Orange-like, passionate, summerly. A scent so confident and strong he instantly knew that you were an alpha and that he liked you more than he ever wished to like Haechan. His heart, so candied, desired nothing but to be delicately held by your hands.

You did not look like most alphas, though. You were shorter than Jaehyun, with the average silhouette of a woman. Driven by details, Jaehyun registered the thin silver choker on your neck, from which small diamond stars hung; he took in how your hair crowned your face like moonlight made the night a thousand times more alluring. He looked into your eyes, sharp and dazzling, eyelids so long snowflakes could be captured in them. And the black, long jeans you wore? The oversized suit that combined your powerful aura? You had his knees trembling. Jaehyun stared in awe as you walked inside the shop, exhaling confidence and authority, running those unforgiving eyes on the shelves filled with vibrators, dildos and plugs, until they landed on him.

You tilted your head with a playful grin on your lips. “What’s wrong with your jaw?”

Jaehyun immediately closed his mouth without realizing he had opened it in the first place, his cheeks burning like flames on a stove. “I’m sorry, miss.” Sorry that you were so beautiful and it felt so right to just look at you — and that his mouth salivated at how gorgeously you messed with his brain. “H-how can I help you?”

Your gaze was analytical, cold even through the layers of playfulness. Only then he told himself that you were an alpha, and alphas were not to be trusted. How would he know you weren’t one of those hunters that tracked omegas and forced them into submission? Jaehyun had been lucky in hiding, but he knew most omegas had an unhappy ending. If you were an omega and an alpha caught you, you were sent back to the capital, and once you were there, you were forced to mate with someone your heart did not choose. It was a hideous crime against everything Jaehyun believed in, and he mentally thanked himself for taking his suppressants. That way, you wouldn’t be able to feel his scent. You would not even know he was an omega. Hopefully. 

You stepped closer and closer, until Jaehyun could count the pores on your face. “I’m looking for a toy.” Your voice was velvety and calm, like a carpet that took him straight to the loveliest daydream. 

Jaehyun nervously fixed his glasses. “Any preferences?”

“I like the flexible and potent ones. Extra points if they’re cute,” you replied, leaning on the counter — your scent, stronger with your proximity, could intoxicate his every blood cell. Why did it sound like he could be the toy you were looking for?

“W-we have this one, it arrived today,” Jaehyun was close to sweating as he handed you the new toy. “This end gives you clitorial stimulation. And this other end is-“

“Perfect for penetration,” you interrupted, using your fingers to explore the end that resembled the shape of a cock. “Does it thrust alone?”

“Yes,” Jaehyun's rosy cheeks embarrassed him further. “Excuse me, miss,” he politely pressed the button to turn the toy on, swallowing when you wrapped your lovely hand around the girth that started moving back and forth in a short, strong speed. He should not be thinking the things he did. God, he should not. “It has five different types of potency too.”

You nodded with a smile that only made you twice as beautiful, so much it was a scandal. “I’ll take it.”

Jaehyun proceeded to wrap the toy box for you, putting it inside the shop customized — but still discreet — bag. When you handed him your credit card, he quickly registered your name, and knew he had to say something else or he was going to regret his silence forever. “Are you new in town?”

“Yes,” you nodded. “I was transferred from the capital.”

“Really? What do you work with?”

“I’m a huntress.” Your honest reply almost made Jaehyun choke on his own saliva, but for the sake of his being, he did not. “You might’ve heard it. Rebellious omegas are moving to small towns, and the government is sending alphas to track them.”

Fuck. How Jaehyun was able to control the absolute agony in his face was even unknown to him. “So you’re an alpha, then…” he hummed as though he had not known.

“Yes,” you grinned like an angel holding a knife on its back, like a snake hidden in the bushes. “You’re not an omega by any chance, are you?” Your tone was mocking: you both knew the chances of an honest answer were low, in case he really was an omega.

“Human,” Jaehyun lied.

“I envy you. Human population is rising, and we are going down,” you sighed. “We wouldn’t, if omegas had the decency to face their destinies.”

Your words were like a sting in his chest. In true honesty, Jaehyun wanted to argue. To tell you what people called destinies was nothing but a way to both control and hurt omegas and alphas. He wanted to tell you what he thought: that omegas had suffered enough, seen as only useful for sex, to stay back home and take care of the kids and the housework while alphas, especially males, ran wild and free. Jaehyun wanted to tell you that your opinion was not only wrong, but violent. It made his heart ache, how you were part of the system he despised. 

“I can imagine,” was all he said. 

Your eyes held his gaze for a few seconds, as though you were trying to see through him, your nose trained to smell his lies. But you said nothing, accepting when he handed you the bag. “Thank you, mister…?”

“Jung. Jung Jaehyun.”

“I’m Y/N, but you already know that.” With a smile, you turned around to leave. When your hand was on the handle, Jaehyun spoke again. 

“Miss, can I ask you a favor?”

“Sure.”

“We still don’t have reviews on the toy you’re taking. With due respect, if you could write yours, so we can anonymously post it, I’d appreciate it.”

Jaehyun did not know how he mustered the courage to ask you that. Just like he didn’t understand how he resisted falling to his knees when you chuckled, frank and gorgeous and just made for him. 

“You’ll hear from me soon, Jaehyun.”

Hidden into the dark embrace of the night, you were supposed to delight yourself in its secrets and maneuvers, but it was quite the opposite.

A cold drop of sweat ran down your temple as you squirmed on the bed. Another nightmare. It was as though you smelled the metallic notes of blood on your nose, dense and undeniable, while your mother, lying on the living room floor, tried to push the pup. Your fifth brother.

“He’s not coming out,” your mother insisted, her face salty with excruciating tears and laboring sweat.

Coldly watching from the balcony, your father sighed as if every word coming out of her mouth was made of pure, overreacting drama.

That night, after ten hours of pleading and sobbing, your mother and brother died on the cold floor. A pool of thick blood spread on the rug, and you were once again haunted by how your father told you to get it fucking off his face and clean it.

You woke up with a scream in your throat, that you swallowed harshly as sweat dripped down your nape. That nightmare was more frequent than you would ever like, and it repeated from time to time. 

There was no escaping from the things you had seen. There was no exit from the way of the world, how females were meant to breed and bring live to pups. It didn’t even matter if they were alphas, betas or omegas. No woman was safe.

Every day, you did what you did not to end up like your mother. As long as there were omegas to hunt, you were not going to be forcefully paired with a random man that seeked to impregnate you. You would rather hunt a thousand omegas than allow anyone to put a pup inside you.

Even the cute, polite omega you had met that afternoon. 

Jung Jaehyun. A name like sugary on your tongue.

Who was he trying to fool with those sweet eyes? Those plush lips, charming dimples, shiny black hair and his soft voice? Who was he trying to fool with that bewitching attitude that flourished right from the courteous and respectful garden of his heart?

You had come across attractive omegas before, with eyelashes so gracious that even the brattiness in their mouths came out alluring and dear, but it was different this time. Your heartbeat had been singing a different melody since you entered that shop, hoping to find another prey that would offer you a pleasing, feisty hunt. However, even the thought of Jung Jaehyun soothed your nightmare’s side effects, helping you focus on the devouring need to bring him to your arms and give him the world. A need so brutal it felt visceral. 

You wanted to show him how you looked naked. To see his jaw dropping again, and to show him the true meaning of warmth.

But you had a file on him, a long list of information: where he was born, where his parents lived, what money the government was going to pay you for his capture. You knew his background, a lovely child that wished to be a theme park designer, mom’s only child, the best in class. You also had the address of Jaehyun’s suppressant provider. 

All that information was like having a rope around his neck, a rope you were close to tightening in a firm, definitive knot. 

“You have to be fucking kidding me,” you chuckled bitterly, using your own blouse to wipe the sweat away from your face, and staring over at the sex toy on the bedside table, the same you had used as your head guided you back to him. His eyes, his hands, his lips.

You knew better than to give your heart any indulgence. Jung Jaehyun was your prey, and you were going to hunt him down.

“So, how was your night? Found a lady to try the new toy with?” Haechan cooed excitedly as he welcomed Jaehyun into the shop the next day. 

If Jaehyun could give an honest answer, he would say that he put his vinyl records on, from Frank Ocean to Cigarettes After Sex, lit a musk candle, and counted how many suppressant pills he still had — everything so his mind would not chase you in its eternal longing for romance and belonging. You were a huntress, which severely compromised your morals and sense of judgment. It was so mean of you to do what you did, and still, Jaehyun wished you'd be gentle to him. A type of gentleness that put him to sleep and blew sweet air on his lungs — a type of care that was absolute, inviting and nesting. He wished you could build him a nest, with things that smelled like you, and bury him in your arms after a rough day. There was nothing else in the world that he desired as much.

“Not actually,” Jaehyun scratched his nape softly. “I preferred to stay home.”

“Ah,” Haechan’s excitement shrinked with himself, and he seemed smaller behind the counter. “I didn’t succeed either.”

Jaehyun’s eyebrows furrowed. “What happened?”

“I have not been in the mood lately, you know? Which is very weird, considering the way I am.” Haechan pouted, looking down at his hands. His sorrowful tone made Jaehyun come closer to rub his back in soothing circles.

“Don’t worry, Haechannie. We all have our phases.”

“What if it is not a phase? What if I have lost my libido forever?”

“So dramatic,” Jaehyun chuckled. “It won’t come to that. Give yourself time and be patient. You’ll feel ready again one day.”

Haechan nodded with slightly hopeful eyes, although his face still looked pouty. Slowly, his features allowed a bit of rage in. “What a shame! I need reviews for my shop and can’t even push myself to experiment with the toy I was the most excited about!”

Jaehyun mentally told himself to be quiet, but his empathy spoke louder. He couldn’t help it. Seeing people struggling was something he really hated. “We still can get reviews somehow, you know? I asked one of the customers that bought the toy to write us one.”

“You did what?!” Haechan stood up in shock. “Who did you ask?”

Jaehyun raised his hands in peace. “You don’t know her. She’s new in town. But don’t worry, Haechannie. I wouldn’t have asked her if she didn’t seem open.”

The owner seemed to calm down, but retorted suspiciously: “She’s probably into you. I bet she’s leaving a whole ass review with several details to make you think of her…”

“I don’t think so,” Jaehyun readily replied. 

“Why are you always so humble, Jae? Don’t you notice the effect you have on others?” Haechan sighed, then analyzed Jaehyun a little closer. “Unless… Unless you’re interested in her, that’s why you asked!”

As much as Jaehyun admired his boss, sometimes Haechan’s cleverness really got on his nerves. “Stop saying nonsense!”

“Your ears are red. You’re definitely lying! Come on, tell me everything about her! New in town, you said…?”

Disconcertedly, Jaeyun removed his glasses and rubbed his eyelids. “I’m not talking about her. Please, respect it.”

Haechan was about to stick his tongue out at his employee when the bell on the door rang and they both turned around.

And just like that, the sensation of summer was once again in Jaehyun’s lungs, the smooth moves of your hair bringing the soft notes of oranges to his sensitive nose — and this time, as he awkwardly put the glasses back on his face, Jaehyun thought he was actually going to die, because you walked in wearing a leather jacket that matched your biker gloves. 

You rode a motorcycle. It was just parked outside.

Holy shit, you were a fucking badass!

“Hi, Y/N!” Jaehyun was close to gagging, his ears turning twice as scarlet, like cherries. “How are you?”

“Hey,” you grinned gingerly, taking a moment to look at the young man right next to Jaehyun. “Perfect. You?”

“Fine. This is Haechan, he’s the shop owner. Haechan, this is Y/N, our new customer” he was quick to introduce you.

“Nice to meet you,” Haechan hummed in a tone that sounded almost like a seductive coo, which embarrassed Jaehyun a little.

“You have a lovely shop,” you smiled. “I just came back to tell Jaehyun I wrote the review.”

“Ah, thank you!” Jaehyun uttered. “You can send it to me and I’ll post it on our website asap!”

“With one condition,” you spoke, staring at him deeply. His eyes were sweet, but yours were menacing. “I’ll send it if you have dinner with me.”

Both Jaehyun and Haechan held their breaths. Your target blushed while his boss tried not to jump around in a supportive display of happiness, content that his reserved and discreet employee finally had the chance to go out with someone he was interested in.

Jaehyun, on the other hand, was nearly shock-circuiting, wondering if you really wanted to take him out or if it was all a strategy for you to find out if he was an omega.

But what could he do against the soul crashing desire to be with you? What will did he have against his own instinct? 

Denying you was not an option.

“Sure,” Jaehyun managed to reply. “I’ll be happy to.”

Taking Jaehyun’s suppressant provider down was easily risked off your list. Piece of cake. The man, a neat guy named Jaemin, offered little resistance when you knocked on his door, which led to you finding his hidden lab and the several suppressants he stored in the garage. Jaemin was quickly sent to jail right after.

Without suppressants, Jaehyun would be unable to hide his scent. He was probably going into heat too, when the time came; heats were usually so ferocious and ruthless he was going to give you all the evidence required to send him back to the capital as an omega. That was how you planned on catching him.

Of course, as you faced him at the lovely street restaurant, with candles burning on the table and the moonlight rays blessing your encounter, he did not know you already had planned his downfall from start to end. You pitied him. You pitied everyone. But it had never stopped you from doing your job.

“This is one of my favorites in town,” Jaehyun looked at the restaurant facade, with an angelic arch of light blue flowers surrounding the wood doors.

“Glad I picked the right place,” you replied, sipping on white wine. “How long have you been living here, if I may ask?”

“A little more than three years.”

“And are you happy?”

Jaehyun nodded without hesitation. “More than when I lived in the capital. Here, life goes by slower. There’s no traffic and the violence ranges are lower than average. I’m closer to nature too. I really like listening to the birds sing when I wake up.”

There they were again, his sweet eyes. His plush lips, charming dimples, shiny black hair. 

Your inflamed desire to give him everything he could possibly have,

“Adorable,” you smiled. At that very moment, one of your colleagues, Taeyong, was breaking into Jaehyun’s house to get rid of his suppressants. Dinner had just been an excuse to bring Jaehyun out. Or so you liked to think. “I suppose you enjoy the people too, besides the lifestyle. Your boss seems to be a lovely boy.”

“Haechan?” Jaehyun’s eyes widened as he winded up some spaghetti on the fork. It caught your attention, how smooth and lovely his manners were in his structure, with long slender fingers and defined muscles on his arms. “He’s my friend, that’s all. But yes, he’s really cool.”

“It must be fun, working at a sex shop…”

He chuckled, looking exceedingly cute in those reading glasses, with a smile so pure and genuine you wanted to kiss him. It ached, being in his presence and knowing you could not make him yours, like a true alpha did to an omega.

“I thought so too, when I was hired, but now I just focus on helping people find what they want,” Jaehyun explained, seeming a lot more comfortable around you. He had barely touched his wine, so you could not blame it on alcohol. Maybe he was just a sweet and outgoing communicator. “It’s impressive how sex toys can assist us. They make couples grow closer and help people who are discovering what they like, and even those who are facing sexual traumas. I really like what I do, it makes me feel important.”

Shit. He was really adorable.

“What about you?” Jaehyun continued. “Are you enjoying the town?”

“Kind of. I love the capital, but it is nice here too.”

“Is the hunt going well? I mean, did you find any omegas?”

“None,” you replied, trying to suppress how his boldness surprised you. “They’re getting harder to catch.”

Jaehyun looked down at his fork. “Maybe… Maybe they don’t want to have a miserable life, you know?”

Softly, you clenched an eyebrow. “How so?”

“I mean, think about yourself. You’re an alpha. Aren’t there any responsibilities that come with the title that you wish you could avoid?”

“There are, that’s why I’m hunting,” you honestly replied, feeding from the curiosity in his gaze. “As long as I’m working, I won’t be needed in reproductive matters.”

Jaehyun’s eyes squeezed. “So you hunt omegas and send them back to serve the same matters you personally run from?”

“Hypocritical, right?” you hummed nonchalantly. “But it is them or me, and I’ve made my decision a long time ago.”

Jaehyun bit the inside of his cheek. How complex it was, to comprehend one’s motivation. “Do you really think that’s the only solution?”

“Well, if you have a better one, I’m all ears,” you tightened your eyes at him, chewing on a buttered rigatoni. “You have a very determined opinion, for a human.”

“I’m interested in social subjects. I think societies can be more equal and gentle.”

Of course he did.

“I bet that’s motivation for selling toys too,” you guessed. Alphas, betas and omegas tended to only have sex with their mates when they had the chance; if they had not found their mates, sex toys were the best substitutes, and offered some kind of relief. “Tell me, how many omegas have you attended lately?”

“Is that why you wanted to have dinner with me? Because you think I’m turning my customers in to you?” Jaehyun firmly replied.

“Not really. I can always use some help, but you don’t have to tell me. And relax, I’m not here to investigate you. The review was only an excuse for me to get to know you a little better.”

Jaehyun blinked behind his glasses. "Did you like it? The toy?"

“Yes, I was really impressed” your eyes analyzed him like a fox eyeing a distracted white rabbit. You leaned over, and he immediately pulled his face closer to yours, as if you were going to tell him a secret. “What I liked the most about it was that the thrusting end firmly stays in, like a true knot.”

If Jaehyun had any wine in his mouth, he would have spat it out. But he did not, and even then, the poor guy choked on his own saliva, coughing inside his closed fist as you pretended not to be entertained. You rubbed his arm gently, like you were not trying your best to have him crumble in awe for you. “Did I say anything wrong, Jae?”

“N-no,” he shook his head, tears filling his eyes. “I just swallowed saliva and it went wrong. I’m sorry, Y/N. I really imagine that’s a huge thing for an alpha.”

“It is,” you agreed while handing him a glass of water. Your eyes then averted from his face, landing only for a second on his jeans, where an imposing volume outlined the zipper. Much to your surprise, the sight of his hardness made you damp on your panties. Fuck. You were turned on too, and Jaehyun was going to smell it. Well, let him. “Feeling any better?”

He nodded, trying to keep his eyes sober as he detected your arousal, looking almost lightheaded as he grabbed his fork back and went back to eating.

When Jaehyun got home that night, he felt like he was going to explode. His heartbeat frantically jangled in his ears, his eyes blurred with overwhelming tears, his pants tightened with the fantasies of his lifetime. Unsure, his mind was like a matryoshka doll, with layers of thought unraveling as he tried to figure out whether you intended on seducing him to yourself or on capturing him as an ordinary, worthless prey.

You. You were going to be the end of him. And he was going to very much let you.

Minutes after he arrived, his cell phone screen lit up with a new email notification. You had sent your review.

In the speed of light, Jaehyun clicked on it.

“It's different from any toy I've used. Heavier, too. I was unsure the clitorial stimulation was going to work out, because the nozzle was larger than my clit, but it fit just fine. I just had to keep my lips spread. The clit sucking end feels like someone is really sucking on your clit, moving their tongue up and down. That alone would make an amazing toy. But the moment I slid the other end inside, it was mind-blowing. My walls immediately clenched, and the combination of the pressure with how my muscles squeezed the toy was stupidly good. It reminded me of the feeling of being penetrated for the first time. Worth every penny.”

Jaehyun tried breathing as usual, fighting against the sinful images of you all naked, with your glistening pussy tightening the toy as it thrusted inside you. He tried shaking away the thoughts of your body squirming on the bed as your clit was sucked and your legs shook, your irresistible face contorted in the sweet bliss and pleasure the toy offered you.

Bravely, he fought the painful desire to touch himself. Until he remembered you said the toy resembled a knot, and fuck, Jaehyun wanted to give it to you: to be inside you, locked in, tied to you until you were both satisfied.

His permissive hand traveled down his navel. Just a little relief wouldn’t hurt, would it? He could have some fun, alone, without anyone knowing…

The remaining pieces of morality injected some reasoning into his brain. 

He grabbed one suppressant pill from his wallet and swallowed it down with a sip of water — the glass had shaken helplessly in his hand on the way to his mouth. With a quick look, Jaehyun noticed he only had another six pills. His heat, too, was close, dangerously now that you were close to him. Heats, he remembered with a shiver, could be triggered by the presence of a soul bonding alpha, and even if Jaehyun resisted the thought that you could be his mate, it was definitely time to refill his wallet.

Taking a deep breath, he reached for the bedside table drawer. His heartbeat nearly stopped when he didn’t find the blister packs. Denying what he had already concluded, Jaehyun searched under his bed, in the bathroom cabinet, and even in the kitchen, but his pills were nowhere to be found. He knew what it meant. 

As his heart cracked in more pieces than it was made of, Jaehyun knew you were hunting him.

“What do you mean Jaehyun isn’t here?” you clenched an eyebrow at Haechan, who pouted. He looked pretty much like a purry cat,

“He called in sick. Said he's got a fever. Was he well when you last saw him? You went on a date earlier this week, didn't you?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, he sent me the review, by the way! Thank you so much, the details will definitely help.”

You couldn't tell if Haechan's words were mocking, or maybe he was just playful. “Not at all,” you hummed, leaving the shop without further conversation. 

It was weird that Jaehyun had not sent you a single text after your encounter. Maybe he was too idiot to make a move after you told him about the knot thing, or perhaps he had found out that you were after him.

[Haechan just told me you're sick. Need anything?] you texted shortly after jumping on your bike to ride home. Your text was not delivered, much less seen.

Impatiently, you started worrying something had happened. You knew his address, but Jaehyun had never told you where he lived. Knocking on his door meant exposure. Shaking the idea away, you attempted to find distraction in a long bath that left your skin flushed, your fingers wrinkly like plums. Still, your mind restlessly played you like a chess, awakening your impulsiveness. What if Jaehyun needed help? What if he was sick indeed? What if he was… 

Oh, so you did care about him. 

“Screw it!” you resolved, readily standing up from the tub and leaving a trail of determined drops where you stepped, heavy and firm.

You rode as though you were late to a crucial event, your cheeks burning in touch with the cold breeze as your bike cut the night like a deadly knife in a birthday cake. In your ears, the beat of your heart musically revealed the bitter sensation of despair. Your plan was perfect. Jaehyun was perfect. You could not let him slip between your fingers.

However, when you got to his house and the lights were off, you knew he had.

He had run away from you.

For three days, you did not hear anything from Jaehyun. He did not leave a trace, not a merciful clue, as if he had never been there. The only connection between you and him was named Haechan, and his purry presence did not make those gut-wrenching days any less sore. 

Every waiting hour left a bitter taste on your tongue. You walked on a tightrope, and emptiness was a blade that cut it thinner. Somewhere in the middle, you were unable to know if you wished to find Jaehyun to kiss or to torture him. All you knew was that you had failed both as a hunter and an alpha. You even had the hypocrisy to feel offended that he left, because, by leaving, he was denying you and everything you could be.

They said that when an alpha crossed ways with their omega, they felt like giving them the world. Like protecting them with the strength of their arms and the sharpness of their minds. It was what being a mate meant: a strong and undeniable bond, crafted by the angels of love and desire, to create roots so firmly into the ground that no one and nothing could stand between them.

You lied to yourself by thinking Jaehyun was all about the hunt. Deep inside, you knew he was far more than that. You knew your anguish and anger meant you hated that he was far away from you.

[No sign of him?] 

[Not a shred.] Taeyong texted you back.

You wanted to scream, but decided to have a pistachio ice cream by the beach instead, angrily kicking the rocks with your feet as the sun shone — as though it had any reason to.

Where the fuck was him? Where the fuck was your omega?

How quickly you grabbed your phone after it vibrated on your pants pocket was insane. “Got any news?”

“Yes, Jaehyun’s back!” Haechan replied.

At daylight's speed, you ran to the shop. The purple shadows of dusk covered your hurried pace, legs burning all the way down the dark paths of your desire, your voice demanding under your breath when you walked in. “Where is him?”

Haechan readily got up, motioning for you to come with him. “In the back.”

Obediently, you followed him like a dog after a treat. It was only when you were inside the room where Haechan stored the toys that you noticed something was awfully wrong. However, you had no time to act on it.

Haechan had already handcuffed and locked you inside. 

What happened next was something you would never imagine. The purry but also mischievous Haechan really commanded you around. 

“You have to stay silent if you want to see Jaehyun,” he explained while blindfolding you. Needless to say he had already grabbed your phone and you were helpless, unable to call for help. Not that you would make a scandal, because now you were curious what that was all about. “I’ll drive you to him, but you have to behave.”

“When this is over, I’ll come to get you,” you growled, even though you did not mean what you said. 

“Whatever.”

Humans.

It was night when Haechan led you to a car, putting you on the back and cuffing your ankles too. “Why are you doing all this?” You asked calmly. If Jaehyun had planned all that, you knew you did not need to fear. “Can’t you be civilized?”

Even if you couldn’t see him, you swore Haechan rolled his eyes. “I don’t trust you, Y/N. You’re mean and manipulative, and I’m just doing this because Jaehyun wants to talk to you. But I’ll do it my way.”

Exactly like you had suspected.

Much to Haechan’s delight, you managed to stay quiet for the whole trip. Not knowing where you were going to really bothered you, your instincts found such helplessness absurd, but you knew it was going to pay off if you saw Jaehyun again.

It took hours. And hours. But you finally arrived. 

Haechan led you to what seemed like a house, and soon enough you were alone in a room, sitting on a chair. After a few minutes, your senses captured another presence, and the way your heart soothed told you everything you needed to know.

You felt some strange type of relief shivering down your spine, and said nothing. Let him speak.

“I hope the cuffs are not too tight. Are they burning?” Jaehyun asked, and you could have moaned at the mere sound of his voice. 

“Oh, you made such a fool out of me… And now you’re trying to be gentle,” you chuckled sourly. 

“I’ve always been gentle,” Jaehyun retorted. “But you were hunting me, and I’d rather make a fool out of you than fool myself.”

“I can’t make fun of that. Can I see, please?”

Jaehyun readily complied, removing the blindfold. You tried opening your eyes, but sunlight caught them unprepared. Slowly, as your eyes adjusted, you noticed Jaehyun was in an armchair right in front of you. He looked at you worriedly. His presence had you so focused you only noticed you were in a living room seconds later.

“What’s your plan now? Turn me in to the rebels?” you asked. There were illegal communities of beta and omegas who had rebelled against the capital. 

“No,” Jaehyun said. “I want to talk to you. Omega to alpha.”

“All this for talking?” You nearly spat, a strand of your hair landing on your face.

Gently, Jaehyun leaned over to tuck it behind your ear. “I didn’t know how you were going to react, Y/N. You had all the power back then, and I needed to make sure I was not at risk. I told Haechan to be nice to you. I really meant no harm. I’m sorry about that..”

You breathed. “Go on. I don’t think there’s anything else I can do but listen.”

“I want you to listen openly. I know I’ve deceived you, but I really want us to get to an agreement. That’s why I brought you here.”

You let his words sink in, sure you looked quite ridiculous, all cuffed, unable to defend yourself. “Why, Jaehyun?”

His eyes almost faltered, but did not leave yours. “Because I like you.” 

As if you were in middle school, your heart beat so fast it could have climbed up your throat. How silly it was, to be liked. To be adored, admired, to be wanted around. How stupid it was, to be responsive to one’s liking. To think you had finally found your mate after years of loneliness and pain, divided between who you truly were and who you could have been.

It was almost cruel, how Jaehyun messed up with the roughness it took you years to build.

His hands shook. Your scent in such a closed, small space was making it harder for him to think. “I’ve liked you since the day you first walked in the shop. I know you’re hurt by your own status, just like I have been, and I think I can help. Please, Y/N, let me offer you a different point of view. Let me convince you you don’t have to hurt others to be happy.”

“You lied to me. You and bloody Haechan.”

“You lied to me too. You’ve even stolen my suppressants, which is far worse in my humble opinion,” Jaehyun reminded you with the calmest of tones. “But I am here, ready to give you a second chance. All I ask is for you to give me one too.”

You simply stared at him. Your eyes resembled a sky that had both light and heavy clouds, with glimpses of sun and rain. An intrinsic inner battle. Finally, you acquiesced with your chin. “Go on.”

Jaehyun fixed his glasses before speaking. “I know I’m more than a pup maker. I have dreams. I want a good life, with friends I can count on, a life where I can be safe and have the same rights as anyone else. And if I ever have pups with someone, then it will be because we both agreed on it,” he breathed, sincerity dripping from his lips like wine. “That’s why I ran away and why I will not let you hunt me that easily. I don’t know what happened to you, but I’m sure life as a female alpha takes a heavy toll. Whatever you went through, you deserve healing. You deserve to be heard and validated, Y/N. It is not others that dictate how you should live. What you want matters.”

His entire speech was like seeds of roses planted in the confinements of your chest. “How we should live is beyond us,” you spoke skeptically.

“Only because you choose to believe so,” Jaehyun disagreed. “If I had, I would certainly not be here. If you do, you’ll see hurting others is not your only option.”

How could Jaehyun be so understanding, so forgivable, so lovely? How could he offer you a chance of redemption? It amazed you. Badly. You breathed every particle of the room inside your lungs, so deep it was the first time you smelled the musky, leathery scent coming from the man in front of you. 

The suppressants’ effects… They were low. Almost non-existing.

Jung Jaehyun smelled like the rawest of desires.

“If I decide to trust you, what’s it going to be?” you asked, pretending you were not lightheaded.

“We leave here together,” Jaehyun proposed. “And I promise you’ll have all the safety you need by my side.”

Most alphas would have laughed at the perspective of finding safety on an omega, but you did not. You tasted it. How good it would be, to have someone you could rely on. Someone patient, strong, who added to your dreams and aspirations. Someone you could be yourself with. 

Your eyes softened, your wrists relaxing inside the cuffs. “Let me go, then.”

“Do you really accept it?” Jaehyun carefully confirmed.

The air stood dense between you two, hanging like a sword on a wall, an icicle on the top of a cave, and also like a gentle caress coming from a waiting hand. 

You nodded. “I do.” 

He stood up and approached the chair slowly. As his hands uncuffed you, you paid attention to the slenderness of his fingers. His musky scent was messing up with your head, your veins pumping blood to your lower body, even though you resisted the natural urge to touch Jaehyun whole as he uncuffed you like a real gentleman would. 

Once you were free, he gazed at the reddened skin of your wrists. In an act that apparently was beyond any reasoning, Jaehyun gently brought them to his lips, pressing a chaste kiss to where the metal had left a slight burn. 

Your lips shook with the force of your breath. The man was crazy, a soft freak and a lord all together. With every passing second, you wanted him more and more. Holding his silky gaze, you mustered a grin before abruptly grabbing the hair on his nape and pulling Jaehyun down to his knees.

His eyes widened in fear.

“You’re so fucking naive,” you scolded. “Next time, think twice before trusting an alpha. Not everyone is like me,” you let your grip loosen, helping him stand up once again. “Promise me.”

His pupils adjusted back into a soft gaze. “You scared me,” he admitted.

“That’s the idea. Promise me.”

“I promise. I’ll be more careful.”

It was what you wanted to hear. Slowly, Jaehyun’s fingers returned to the gentle, languid caresses on your wrists.

“I suggest you back off if you don’t wish to be claimed,” you sighed.

His eyes had darkened at your words, his Adam’s apple tensing as he pulled his hands away in a respectful manner. “As I said, I like you, Y/N. Genuinely.”

Affection was a new, alien thing to you. However, your instincts encouraged you to embrace it, even if at your own pace and time. 

“We both have instincts that can rush things. I’d be careful,” you explained, smoothly brushing his hair back. How the silky strands slid between your fingers felt like touching the clouds.

“You’re scared of love,” Jaehyun concluded, making you smile frankly.

“Aren’t you?”

“No. I’d happily give myself to a good alpha if we loved each other. I believe in long-lasting, healthy relationships.”

Your smile faltered. “I don’t think the world is ready for that, Jaehyun.”

“I don’t need it to be.”

You averted your gaze to the window. There was a sunny road outside, with few cars passing. 

Minutes ago, you decided to leave the house. Jaehyun took you to a car, an old yet functional Chevy Impala.

“Where’s Haechan?” you asked.

“In his parents’ house. He was born here.”

You hummed, getting into the passenger seat. “He won’t be coming back with us, I hope?”

“No,” Jaehyun shook his head, already in the driver seat. “Also, don’t be mad at him, Y/N. He didn’t know I was an omega until I found out you had stolen my suppressants. And as weird as it was, Haechan was very willing to help. We thought it’d be better to take you somewhere far away, because you’d have less advantages.”

“I might forgive him for a few things,” you cooed, then looked over as Jaehyun started the engine, his fingers grabbing the wheel firmly. “What about your suppressants?”

“I’ve got a few more left,” Jaehyun replied. “But since you stole all of my supply and Jaemin is probably in prison now, I have to be careful.”

“Didn’t have any luck finding another provider?”

“As if I’m telling you,” Jaehyun chuckled. 

You laughed along. “It’s my job, you know that, right?”

“Yeah,” his tone was slightly more serious now, as he drove through the peaceful streets. “What did you do before hunting?”

“My dad had a law office. I studied law too, but never quite liked it.”

“What do you like, then?”

You caught your breath, your voice two tones lower, almost inaudible. “Baking.”

Jaehyun’s eyebrows lifted in sweet surprise. “Like, baking bread?”

“Baking cakes. I’m really good at it,” you admitted, looking down at your hands. You had always been ridiculed because of your hobby. Your father, brothers and sisters constantly accused you of wasting your time with such stupidities. Alphas were born for high power positions: politicians, lawyers, doctors, CEOs… But baking cakes? That was a job for omegas. The weakest of the weak. You were taught that, even if you did not fully agree. The only person who supported you was your mother, because she expressed her love through the awesome, homemade dishes she cooked. However, as your mom had passed and you grew older, you preferred putting your efforts into something more socially accepted than to perceive the distant dream of having a bakery — even if you felt truly accomplished whenever you looked at a cake you had baked.

“That’s so nice!” Jaehyun encouraged. “What’s your best cake?”

Your heart fluttered at his genuine curiosity, making you bite the inside of your cheek. “Pistachio.”

“I love pistachio!” the man cooed excitedly. “I’d like to try it if you're okay with it.”

“I haven’t baked in forever,” you mentioned.

“Well, you have time now that you don’t have to hunt me,” he chuckled. 

As the morning turned into afternoon and the sky was outlined with purple clouds, you noticed Jaehyun had driven considerably. By the corner of your eye, you caught him yawning sleepily. Shifting in the passenger's seat, you hummed. “Let me drive for a little.”

“I’m fine.”

“You want me to trust you but can’t trust me?” you pricked. 

Jaehyun fixed his glasses. Such a cute habit he had. “Well, you’re the deadly one.”

“What you did to me can easily be considered kidnapping, Jaehyun.”

“But you know it was not like that, right? I mean, do you feel kidnapped?” he asked to be sure, making you chuckle.

“People have done worse things to me. Come on, let me drive.”

“Don’t worry,” he insisted. “What worse things?”

“I might tell you one day.”

You waited for the purple sky to turn dark with sparkling stars. You waited for the breeze to turn colder. You waited until Jaehyun just couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Get some sleep,” you encouraged as you changed seats, holding his cautious gaze. “It’s fine, Jae. Trust me.”

Stubbornly, Jaehyun fought his own tiredness even after you were driving. His eyes got swollen from tiredness, his yawns became more frequent, and he pinched his own cheeks in an attempt to stay awake for a little longer, as if he feared you were going to disappear if he slept. 

But it was quite the opposite, because when he finally closed his eyes and peacefully slept on the passenger seat, you knew you never wished to stay away from him.

The flowers swayed with the wind, and so did his hair. Jaehyun had not remembered arriving to the fields, but we couldn’t care less about the reason: you were right by his side, and it was all that mattered.  “These are beautiful.” With a grin, you leaned closer to smell an orange tree flower. The hot shades of sunset matched you like an artist’s masterpiece, Jaehyun thought while relishing in the image of you acting so free. He wished nothing but to let you be.

“Just like you,” he whispered, another lovely flower blossoming between his fourth and fifth ribs.

You straightened yourself, coming closer to him and swiftly removing the glasses from his face. Jaehyun almost forgot how to breathe with you so close, your orange perfume making his head spin, his fingers shaking in nervousness. Your face got closer, and closer, and then…

And then he felt a hand on his shoulders, shaking softly.  “Jaehyun,” your voice called, but did not come out of the image in front of him. “Jaehyun, we’ve arrived. Wake up.”

Untangling himself from his dream, Jaehyun swore the oranges still smelled fresh on his nose, and that he could feel the temperature of your breath against his cheek. It was just wishful thinking, though, because you were sitting on the driver seat. It was dark night and the car was parked right in front of your house.

“For how long did I sleep?” he cleared his throat, relieved that you were both back in town.

“Not enough,” you replied shortly. “Take some rest tonight.”

“I'll try to,” he breathed. Oranges. Oranges everywhere making him crave you like the trees craved the rain to flourish. “Can I see you tomorrow?”

“You can.” You opened the car door to leave, shivering when the piercing cold breeze hit your skin and thundered on your bones.

Extremely sensitive, Jaehyun jumped from the car and hushed to your side. Without a word, he removed his hoodie and handed it over to you. You stared in awe, eyes big with admiration and delight, as if he had achieved global peace or discovered the cure to every disease. “What’s that for?” you asked.

“I don’t want you feeling cold.”

“Jaehyun, I’m like, eight meters away from my door.”

“Eight cold meters.”

Slowly, you grabbed the piece of clothing. It was impossible that someone was that amazing and kind-hearted. You had never met anyone like Jaehyun before, and it made you feel something in your chest that was strange, foreign, almost agonizing. You could not name it.

You put the hoodie on in front of him, pretending not to notice his pupils widening at the sight of you wearing something his. The musk, leathery scent was all around you again, making you almost bounce on your feet out of excitement.  “Thank you,” you murmured.

“Not at all.” His features suddenly changed, as though he remembered something. “Ah, here’s your cell phone,” Jaehyun grabbed it from his back pocket, and your fingers brushed when you took it in your hands. “Sleep well, Y/N,” was the last thing Jaehyun said before entering the car to drive to his house — only after you had come inside, of course.

You locked the door and pressed your back to it, closing your eyes as though you needed the dark and the silence to absorb everything that happened in the past hours. Jaehyun had maneuvered you in ways you couldn’t possibly imagine, and it was both revolting and pleasing. How willing he was to just be with you, with raw sincerity in his eyes, shook you to the core. It made your bones soft and your resolve like water, flowing, delicate, transpassing obstacles.

Such a weak alpha you were, afraid to act on what you truly desired.

Because it was clear, once you pulled the fabric of his hoodie to your nose, that you wanted him. That you were meant to be.

That he was your mate.

What you felt on your chest, you then knew, was hope.

The next day, shortly after you woke up, your phone vibrated on the bedside table.

[Do you like picnics?]

[I do.]

[Great. I’ll pick you up at 1PM].

Punctually, Jaehyun knocked on your door. Punctually, you opened it, surprising him with two things. The first one was that he had never seen you dressed so casually, with high-waisted jeans, a plain black shirt and white sneakers, hair in a simple bun allowing the sight of delicate earrings hanging from your ears. The second thing was that you held a small tray in your hand, covered by a gingham cloth, that smelled precisely like pistachio.

“You baked? Seriously?” Jaehyun’s eyes widened, and he hid his gracious smile behind his hand, causing your heartbeat to quicken.

“If you’re going to act this fucking cute I’ll just leave the cake here,” you replied impulsively, unsure of how to deal with what sounded like praise.

“Please, don’t!” In a heartbeat, Jaehyun lowered his hand and straightened himself. Deep inside his chest bones, his heart fluttered. You had baked for him. “I just didn’t expect it. Thank you.”

You nodded somehow sternly. A little voice inside your consciousness blamed you for being so rigid.

“Come,” Jaehyun offered you a smile, stepping aside so you could follow him to the Chevy Impala.

“Where are we going?” you inquired.

“You’ll see.”

Surprises made you uneasy. As did not being in control. However, for Jaehyun, you made a little effort — you knew it was important for him to make decisions. Thankfully, it paid off, because the car rode all the way up the hills until it reached the top of a cliff. It was easily one of the most beautiful sights you had ever put your eyes on, something only the countryside could offer, with sunlight rays dancing with the velvety waves, the foam kissing the beach like a devoted lover’s embrace.

“What’s wrong with your jaw?” Jaehyun chuckled, making you notice your mouth was agape. You also remembered it had been the first thing you asked him.

“This is beautiful,” you commented, the corners of your lips lifting in a discreet smile.

“It is, right?” Jaehyun sighed. The breeze lifted his hair slightly as he grabbed a basket from the backseat, and a towel that matched the cloth on your tray. He then proceeded to spread the towel on the ground and remove the things he had brought: homemade sandwiches with cheese, pesto and tomatoes, strawberries and peaches, orange juice and a local brand of chocolate you had never seen. You joined him, placing your tray on the towel and removing the cloth to reveal a small pistachio cake covered in buttercream. It might have taken you hours to get it done. “Let’s eat!”

You crossed your legs on the towel, reaching for the sandwich while Jaehyun poured you juice. As you took a bite, your mouth was filled with delectable flavorsome layers that reminded you of your mother. The care in each slice of cheese, the carefulness in dosing the olive oil for the pesto, and the perfectly smoked tomatoes sharpened your taste, causing your eyes to water. Uncontrollably, you chuckled out of joy.

Jaehyun joined you, a face so pure and glad it seemed to shine like the ocean waves. He was just… Just so soft-looking you wanted to squish his cheeks and kiss his forehead. “What? Is it good?”

“It kind of… It kind of reminds me of my mother,” you replied, comfortable enough to share something so private it weighed like a pirate’s treasure in your chest.

“Really? Does she cook for you?” 

You took another bite. “She did, when she was alive. I guess it was her love language. In fact, she was the only one who supported me baking.”

Jaehyun looked carefully at you. “I’m sorry. Losing her might have been hard.”

“The hardest thing I’ve ever been through,” you admitted, contemplating the ethereal sight in the harmonic horizon. It was only now that Jaehyun listened that you realized how badly you’d been wanting to talk about your mother, as if the filter between your mind and brain stopped functioning. How could you keep secrets from the only person destined to you? Mates shared. Mates understood. “She died while trying to give birth to my ninth brother.”

“How old were you?”

“Thirteen. That’s why I decided to work with anything that didn’t have to do with getting pregnant.” Your eyes, frank, held his gaze. 

Jaehyun nodded, and said nothing for a while. “How many omegas have you hunted, Y/N?”

“About a hundred.”

“And how do you feel about it?”

“It’s a heavy guilt to carry on my shoulder, but it does seem small in comparison to a lifetime being used for my body. I know it sounds hypocritical, and it probably is, but it was my choice,” you replied.

“I don’t blame you,” Jaehyun took a bite on the sandwich, using his thumb to wipe off the pesto at the corner of his lower lip. “It’s hard to see beyond the rules.”

“What about you? What’s your background?”

He took a deep breath. “I was born and raised in the capital. Went to a boy’s school. You know how alphas, betas and omegas had classes together, right? Since then I couldn’t understand why alphas always bullied others and got away with it. If I opened my mouth, I was arrogant and full of myself, but if an alpha spoke, he was powerful, opinionated, and influential. I was bullied a lot for just being me, you know? Of course I spoke back, so I was in trouble quite often, being threatened and stuff. My mom and dad were very supportive of me, we had to move a few times…”

Empathetically, you wondered what it meant for an omega to constantly move. They were highly adaptable, but sought for stability and safety.

“So when I heard that omegas were rebelling and moving to the countryside to build their own lives, I didn’t think twice,” Jaehyun concluded. “I’ve been happier ever since.”

“Your parents might be nice people,” you commented, reaching for a peach. “Do you miss them?”

“Everyday,” Jaehyun smiled. “I call them on a weekly basis, so we’re fine.”

“That’s lovely.”

“What about you? Do you keep in touch with your family?”

You shook your head. “I don’t speak to my dad. We’ve always been the perfect alpha family, but it came with a high cost. My mom was always pregnant, even when she was tired and getting too old to bear. Dad thought it was her job, and we did too. But now… Now I understand she suffered alone.”

The salty breeze gently touched your faces and clothes as you shared confidences. Jaehyun’s understanding soothed you. He made you feel at ease, like sharing your experience was natural and necessary. You liked it.

“You were just a kid, Y/N.”

“I know.” A small smile bloomed on your lips. “I try not to blame myself. All I want is to live differently.”

And that he understood. “I’d say the more we live differently, the more we show others that it’s possible,” Jaehyun said while slicing the cake. 

“You’re not wrong.”

It made butterflies fly in your stomach when he chewed on the cake with a content moan, his eyes closing and his eyebrows furrowing at the delicacy in his mouth. When his eyes opened again, Jaehyun’s brown irises reflected light as if the sun had set within his soul.

There were no words to describe that day but lovely, dear and sincere. You had never been on a date with someone before, at least not one where you saw yourself free from the norms of your status. There had been no need for you to be aggressive or demanding, like alphas were portrayed, and instead of playing the role of the needy submissive omega, Jaehyun was just… Normal. Respectful, wise, and so cool you admired him as a person.

You spent the entire afternoon sharing stories, talking about hobbies — he told you about his vinyls and you told him about baking — and contemplating nature. Time by his side seemed to pass two times faster.

“Thanks for today, Y/N,” Jaehyun smiled once you were in front of your door. “Thanks for trusting me and giving me a chance.”

“Thank you,” you emphasized. “I really had fun. Next time is on me.”

At your words, Jaehyun’s face lit up. You reacted too, your heart beating so fast you shivered, nearly forgetting how to breathe when his scent felt suddenly stronger to your heightened olfactory senses. He got so excited with the idea of you meeting again that his scent exhaled twice as freely. 

Even if you liked to think you mustered enough self control to resist him, your body surrendered to arousal in no time. You closed your eyes, clenching your hands into fists.

“Y/N, is everything okay?” You only registered Jaehyun’s worried tone before replying.

“You’re practically rubbing your scent on my face right now,” you admitted, aware that as an instant response, your pheromones started exhaling too, mainly from your neck and inner thighs. Your bodies functionated beyond your reasoning, blood running warm and fast, desiring to mate, to be tangled to one another. A biological necessity to be all over him, and to protect Jaehyun with tooth and nail. It was how scent glands worked, releasing pleasurable smells that expressed raw bodily and emotional needs.

Your eyes opened, trying to gather some control even though they were sedated by desire.

Jaehyun’s ears were once again red. “M-my heat is approaching,” he muttered. “And you’re close to me, s-“ Jaehyun stopped himself. Now, he smelled your scent twice as strong too, a scent that was alluring and dominant. Perfect for him. “Fuck, you smell so good,” he praised without noticing, mouth numb with craving.

Only God knew how badly you were trying to control yourself. “Go home, Jaehyun,” you said authoritatively. 

“Y-yes“ he stuttered, cheeks as red as his ears. “I should, right?”

“Absolutely,” you nodded firmly. “If you don’t want me to mark scent you, you fucking should.”

Jaehyun nearly grunted, both because of your intentions, and because of how seductive your voice sounded when you cursed. “What if I want to?” He asked. 

Motherfucker. 

And you loved it. 

“You’re aware that mark scenting you can easily trigger your heat, right? And that your heat can cause me to go into a rut.” You reached for his wrist, simply holding it in place. Ruts had a similar purpose to heats, to find a mate and breed, even if contraceptive methods could keep you from getting pregnant. “That isn’t a nice idea, is it?”

“It’s a perfect idea,” Jaehyun challenged. 

“You’re playing with me,” you warned. “Even if I’m being nice and collected, I’m still an alpha. I can be dangerous, Jaehyun.”

His gaze pierced yours with the firmness of a grip, and you knew he was about to say something to break your resolve before he even opened his mouth. “What kind of danger my mate can possibly put me in?”

Snapping, your grip on Jaehyun’s wrist pulled him flush to you. Your chests collided and your breaths violently mixed before you grabbed the hair on his nape and tugged hard, tilting his head to the side. His exposed neck made you groan lowly, the musky scent directly wetting your undies. You had to mark him so bad it ached in your guts, and the moment you stuck your tongue out and gave a broad lick on his skin, your body shivered, your nipples hardened and your hip rubbed the volume in Jaehyun’s pants.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he trembled. 

“Shh, quiet” you instructed, in charge, breath blowing against the wet trail left on his skin. “Just feel it.”

You lifted your weight on the tip of your toes and rubbed your neck against Jaehyun’s, warm skin against warm skin. Parents scented their children, friends scented friends, packmates scented packmates — but scenting between mates was a whole different thing, an encounter of souls wrapped in animalistic bodies. It felt like your soul was touched for the first time, as you left your scent on Jaehyun’s neck, marking him as yours, telling others that he belonged to you. And he felt it too, a sensation so deep in his guts resembling the coziness of an established home. As though he never had to move in his entire life. Ever. 

It was so intimate you felt naked in front of each other. 

Slowly, Jaehyun’s hands found support on your waist. The grip on his nape softened, and soon he was rubbing his face against yours affectionately, cheeks brushing in a loving manner that made you flush. His heat was closer than ever, but this time it was different: heats usually led Jaehyun to lock himself in a room, surrounded by sex toys, a slave to the basic needs of his body to mate and find relief. However, with you he felt… Shit, he felt loved and taken care of, and it only amplified his craving. It was better, it was whole. It was mating.

“I love this,” he admitted.

You grinned, letting your nails scratch his neck gently. His cute shivers widened your smile. “Me too.”

Jaehyun wet his lips with his tongue. “Can I see you again tomorrow?”

You could not precise how exactly you loved that he did not intend on having sex with you that night. It was so much better that way, especially compared to the expectations of sexually aggressive alphas taking their pleasure as soon as possible. His question meant that you could take your time, because there was no running and hiding. You’d be together time and time again, until it felt like the moment was right.

“You can,” you chuckled, and yet another alien feeling assaulted your heart. 

You suspected it was called happiness.

Hours later, you got out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around your body and the silliest of smiles on your face. The euphoria of finding your mate was real, so carved it could be felt in the flesh, like an iron bullet. Your heart, toughened by time, prejudice and rage, now opened its arms to enjoy a feeling so holy you could crown it as your favorite. 

You had a mate. And your scent was on him.

You could still feel Jaehyun’s perfume on you too, and all over the hoodie you had kept by your pillow, to smell him again and again.

For the first time in years, you were soft. 

“Whipped,” you accused playfully as you looked at your image in the mirror, wondering how Jaehyun was feeling at that exact moment. You wanted to know. So, without further thought, you grabbed your phone to text him — and you would have, if other messages did not steal your attention. Messages sent by Taeyong. 

[We found an omega pack hiding in a nearby city from where you are. 

We’re gonna need you to come with us, so backups were sent to help you with Jaehyun.

We’ll be there tomorrow.]

You swallowed thickly, your heart faltering, your hands shaking. It could not be. You could not let Jaehyun get caught. You could not lose him now.

Or maybe… Maybe you were being stupid risking your own life and position for… For love. 

Taking a deep breath, you started typing. 

[Appreciate that. See you tomorrow.]

Jaehyun was God’s favorite. He was God’s most loved child, because only he was allowed to step in Her fluffiest clouds. The luckiest man alive, one of the few creatures that experienced love’s fingers opening him inside out.

And oh, it was almost killing him. 

He would do anything for you: walk for miles, cry for centuries, write your name in a paper for eternity... All the letters, time after time, carved in his wrists, his thighs, his bones. You were his and he was yours, as the lovely scent on his neck reminded him with each breath. Summer lived in him like it had never done before.

Now, he felt less judgmental of the omegas that craved for an alpha. Needless to say he was excited for what you’d do the next day after your date at the cliff, restless even, taking pleasure in the simple act of breathing, knowing you had left your scent on his skin. 

Scent marking an omega really could trigger their heats, and Jaehyun knew that his was lurking dangerously, ready to flourish. The signs left no doubt.

Firstly, he desired a safe space: somewhere with dim lighting, where he could surround himself with objects that smelled like you — shirts, pillows, your leather jacket and biker gloves, and even plushies, if you ever agreed to give those to him. His senses, too, were twice as sharpened: a primal state of animalistic instincts blooming along his consciousness, to protect him from undesired alphas. His mind was slightly hazy as well, and even if he was excited for your third date, the cold, feverish shivers running down his spine worried him.

He couldn’t surrender to his heat. Not now. Not when he was so determined to make you understand he liked you not because you were an alpha, not because he desired you sexually and biologically. Jaehyun needed you to understand he liked you, wholly, for who you were.

So, when you knocked on his door the following day, he opened it with blushy cheeks, bouncing on his feet out of nervousness.

“Jaehyun?” your eyes tightened. You looked fresh, hair swaying with the breeze, orange trees offering him shadow, calm, and absolute hell all together. “Are you going into heat?”

He groaned in frustration. “Then it is obvious.”

You looked around before stepping inside, closing the door behind your back. “I got new suppressants for you.” You opened your palm, handing him one of the blister packs he was so used to.

Jaehyun stared down at your hand. Even if he wished his heat could wait a little longer, your suggestion felt like a crime, especially now that you were there, in his home, gorgeous and strong. Why should he hold back? Why did he have to behave now that he could finally let himself go with you?

“I don’t want it.”

You blinked, surprised. “Sorry?”

“I don’t want it, Y/N,” he repeated, lifting his gaze to yours. “We don’t have to suppress our instincts anymore. We’ve found each other.”

Your breath was long and strong, strangely raspy. “Take these, just this time.”

“What is it, Y/N? Are you scared you’re going to hurt me? That I will induce you into a rut?” Jaehyun stepped closer, cupping your cheeks with his hands and looking deep into your eyes, trying to understand. “Are you scared you’re going to get pregnant? I’d never do that to you, Y/N. We can use protection.”

You closed your eyes shut as though his touch hurt. When they opened, it felt like you were both begging and suffering. Jaehyun could feel his body combusting, his blood running faster, a thin layer of sweat glistening in his forehead. “Jaehyun, please, you have to believe me. Promise me.”

Your words made no sense. 

“What are you talking about?” he asked with the softest of tones.

In one second, you had taken him down in a swift move. Jaehyun’s chest met the floor as you forced your knee painfully on his back, making him yell in surprise. His glasses slid down his nose to the floor. You took the chance to slide a pill inside his mouth, forcefully pressing the palm of your hand against his lips as he squirmed on the floor.

You… You were hurting him.

“Swallow,” you demanded coldly.

Out of fear, Jaehyun obeyed.

Why were you hurting him?

The metallic sound of handcuffs made his throat tight. It was hard to breath. Jaehyun looked over his shoulder, still slightly confused, his dear eyes vulnerable. He only fully understood what was happening when the front door of his house opened, and a male alpha looked down at him.

“It wasn’t that hard, was it?” the man chuckled, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“Piece of cake,” you stood up, placing a heavy boot on Jaehyun’s back to keep him in place. Even your voice sounded different, distant. “He was practically begging to be fucked.”

Jaehyun’s heart… It broke in tiny little pieces, like glass poured all over the floor. The evidence of a slaughter.

“What won’t they do for pussy, hm? You really thought Y/N was into you? So many others did too…” The alpha male approached him, grabbing Jaehyun by the arm and helping him stand up. You stood right by his side, with the most devilish smile on your face.

When in heat, omegas were not helpless creatures, defenseless, sex slaves that submitted to anyone. They were primal, violent, and almost as deadly as alphas. So, once he was back on his feet, Jaehyun snapped. He took the male omega to his knees with only one kick of his legs, hitting his temple with the force of his knee. The man fell on his side, using his hand to support his weight precisely on Jaehyun’s glasses. Then, Jaehyun turned to you, and oh, he wished he could hurt you. He wished he could bite you raw, to bury his teeth into your neck and have you killed, but he could not. 

You were the worst person he had ever met, and yet Jung Jaehyun could not act as though he didn’t love you.

He fell to his knees, tears running down his eyes. “You…” he sobbed, eyes wet with crystal salt. “You’re awful.” And evil, and mean, loathsome, disgusting, vile… All those things you were. But Jaehyun couldn’t speak. His throat hurt.

The male alpha stood up with a grunt, and was about to retaliate when you raised your hand.

“What use is he if you damage his body? We’ve already got what we need, Doyun.”

The blurriness in Jaehyun’s eyes did not allow him to fully visualize how his capture went. He felt strange hands on his back. He felt someone kicking him inside a car, and knew that someone started driving, leaving the town behind.

You were not there anymore.

Jaehyun had heard stories about omegas that were sent back to the capital. The hunters drove them to specific centers to get them tested and check their fertility levels. Said omegas were constantly watched, sleeping in cold cells until they were designated an alpha who matched their characteristics. However, even with the best attempts to match compatible alphas to omegas, it did not work out. It was not unusual for alphas to get hurt after trying to touch omegas: some were bitten like dogs, others scratched so deeply their skin bled, and others even carried scars, forever imprinted in their bodies. So, naturally, omegas were tied up while mating.

It was no different from rape.

Jaehyun wondered how you could have done that to him, just like you did to a hundred other omegas.

It was raining like it usually did in the capital, droplets falling through the skyscrapers, painted red, yellow and green from semaphores, shining neon on outdoors, as people went by as if nothing was wrong. Rats ate at the garbage in the sidewalks, the poor begged for food, and young girls and boys sold their sensuality at the corner of the streets, hovering seductively at the drivers who stopped at a red sign. Without the assistance of his glasses, the capital just looked darker than a nightmare, blurred and agonizing.

Jaehyun held back his tears. They were hard to swallow.

At least, the suppressant heat pill you had made him swallow was like a blessing.

But fuck you. Fuck you a thousand times!

He was never going to love again. Jaehyun was never going to be such an idiot. Such a naive fool.

He breathed hard under his nose, calling the attention of an alpha male that kept an eye on him. This one was smaller than the guy Jaeyun had kicked, with big doe eyes and blue hair.

“Hard time?” the man asked.

Jaehyun did not reply.

“I’m Taeyong,” the man insisted.

“Why would it matter what your name is?”

“Ouch,” Taeyong hissed. “It matters a lot. You’ll see.”

Jaehyun remained silent. He merely shifted on the seat, muscles tense and uncomfortable as his arms stood cuffed behind his back. 

A few minutes later, the car came to a stop, then proceeded to enter an underground garage. The driver, another alpha Jaehyun had not seen until that moment, jumped out before opening the back door.

“Get out, loser,” he commanded, and Jaehyun had no choice but to obey.

He was given white clothing — plain shirts, pants, socks and sneakers —, that he wore without a word. Then, Jaehyun was taken to a room where a female alpha asked him a few questions. Did he have any diseases? When was his last heat? Was he sexually active? Was he on suppressants? Generic or branded? Did he ever take a fertility test?

Jaehyun answered honestly, speaking calmly even if he had the worst headache, caused by the lack of his glasses. Whatever he said, he knew tests were to be taken to either prove or deny his words.

The female alpha took notes and handed Jaehyun a paper. “You’ll be taking medical exams tomorrow. Please be aware of the requirements.”

Next, the guards took him to a cell, neater than his imagination could muster, with a single bed and a small bathroom he could use. Fucking government money. While the poor suffered and starved, the government raised buildings like that one, keeping them clean and equipped.

One of the guards brought Jaehyun dinner, some stew with vegetables, and a plastic glass filled with grape juice. Jaehyun did not touch it, even if his stomach growled.

“You better eat on your own before I have to force you,” the guard warned. They both knew a meal was necessary for his medical exams to come out with correct results.

The last thing Jaehyun wanted was any type of violence. So he ate, even when his throat was so tight he felt barely like breathing. He ate obediently, like every omega stereotype he fought against.

When the sun rose and he had barely closed his eyes, Jaehyun was taken to the medical wing. Every detail screamed such hygienic excellence he wished to vomit on its torturing, endless whiteness.

The nurse took his blood. His urine.

“We’ll need your sperm now,” the nurse explained as he guided Jaehyun to a separate room. He was an omega too, a young boy. “What scents do you feel the most attracted to?”

A scent like fading into sleep beneath the hot sun. An alluring adventure, a midday reverie. Orange-like, passionate, summerly.

“None in particular.”

“It will be better if you collaborate, honey. You smell like oranges, but I sense it is a scent that doesn’t belong to you. Would it work for you if you smelled it?”

Jaehyun’s heartbeat quickened and his knees seemed to pull him down. It was sad, how he had lost hope in himself. 

Looking at his feet, he nodded.

The nurse opened a wardrobe that contained several rows of perfume bottles, all labeled with their respective scents. “I’ll apply some on you, and then you'll have some privacy. Just make sure to cum on this flask. Later, you can immediately take your suppressants, to stop any heat trigger.”

The flask weighed like nothing on Jaehyun’s palm. “Why do you do this? he asked the nurse.

“This what?”

“Why do you help the ones that violate you?”

The omega’s eyes clenched in confusion. “It’s our role. God made us this way, didn’t He?”

Jaehyun wanted to say God was nothing like that. God was something else. 

Something that reminded him of orange trees.

The exams told no lies: Jaehyun was highly fertile, with a concentrated sperm that promised many and many pups to aid the population. That meant he had to be paired with a mate as soon as possible.

After two days in that cell, the guard came to take him out. “Time to meet your mate.”

So that would be it. Jaehyun was going to be matched with an alpha he had never seen before. Someone who was not you. He swallowed harshly as he stepped out of the cell, joining the guard on the way to the elevator. Every step he took towards his destiny ached.

And then, he heard a familiar voice. “What are you doing, huh?”

“Ah, Taeyong!” the guard exclaimed. “Is anything wrong?”

“Yes. The test results for this guy are wrong. Some confusion was made, you see. I have to take him back to testing,” Taeyong explained. “Mister Park’s orders.”

The guard politely stepped aside. “As you wish.”

“Come,” Taeyong hummed, placing a hand on Jaehyun’s nape to guide him over the elevator. But, at the last minute, Taeyong looked over his shoulder to make sure no one else was watching, and quickly pulled Jaehyun towards the stairs down to the parking lot. “Come on, we gotta be fast.”

“Fast for what?” Jaehyun asked.

“For escaping, dumbass.”

Wide-eyed, Jaehyun tried to listen to his intuition. He didn’t want to be naive again, and Taeyong was an alpha… But anything seemed better than to walk back and be paired with someone he did not love. So he did as Taeyong said, rushing to a black car and sliding into the backseat.

“Lie down. You can’t be seen,” Taeyong instructed as he sat on the driver’s seat.

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere that’s better for you.”

Jaehyun lied down quietly as Taeyong drove. The car took a few turns left and right, getting to what seemed like a highway before Taeyong spoke again. 

“You can sit down now.”

“Can you tell me what the fuck is going on?” Jaehyun demanded.

“I’m taking you to the rebels.”

“The rebels? You mean omega rebels?”

“And alphas, as I am clearly. It's my job. I rescue omegas.”

“Is this some kind of joke?”

“I think you’ve had enough jokes,” Taeyong chuckled. “You can chill, Jaehyun. Everything is going to be fine.”

“Is Y/N a rebel too?” Jaehyun breathed hesitatingly. Your name burned in his tongue. His brain clenched in a mantra: Tell me she is. Tell me she is. Tell me she is.

“The best of our kind,” Taeyong grinned. “You didn’t think she was actually letting the bad guys take you, did you? It might have seemed so, because it took me more days to rescue you than I planned. I’m sorry, but it was really risky to take you out earlier. I need to take care of my reputation, you know? And Y/N is surely going to murder me the minute she knows I could not keep you from getting tested. Shit.”

Hopelessly, Jaehyun started crying. His sobs were like heavy clouds making it rain in his heart. He didn’t know he was crying because he wished to believe Taeyong, or because he already did — because, if it was true, if you really were a rebel, then you were perfect. Then you did everything in your will to give him a way out. Then there was a chance your love for Jaehyun was real.

“W-what, are you-” Taeyong frowned. “Don’t cry, man, I’m sensitive to others’ feelings.”

“I thought Y/N hated me,” Jaehyun sobbed.

“She’s crazy for you. She’s saved omegas before, and some even fell in love with her, but it was never reciprocated. When she knew the hunters were coming for you, she asked for my help, and here we are.”

And just like that, Jaehyun’s was God’s favorite again. “When can I see her?” he quickly wanted to know.

“It might take a few days. She was selected for a mission in a nearby city, so she’s gotta be careful now. I’ll let her know you’re safe when we get to the headquarters, okay?”

It was hardly okay. Jaehyun had been impotent and despairing for the past days, because he believed tooth and nail that you were the worst person ever. But now, your love for him made him feel empowered and ready to fight against whoever got in his way. He could not simply sit down and wait for you. He had to be with you. Ferociously.

“I have to see her. Please, Taeyong. Take me to where she is.”

Taeyong chuckled apologetically. “I’m sorry, buddy, but I only take orders from your mate.”

You stared at Jaehyun's glasses, bent to your feet, the lens shattered in the shape of a cobweb where his happiness once shone. It was the grammar of your despair. 

He had said that you were awful, and even if you hoped he was going to soon understand why you allowed his capture, that word stung like an unbearable twinge of pain right in your heart. Seeing your mate hurt and pretending it did not bother you was easily the hardest thing you had ever done, and although your fingers itched to light the world on fire to save him, you knew only patience and discretion were going to offer Jaehyun a way out.

You trusted Taeyong. He was your best friend. He was going to keep an eye on Jaehyun while you played your role in another hunt.

Sitting speechlessly on the passenger’s seat, you pretended to listen to Doyun’s precise instructions on how the hunting would go. Other two alpha hunters you met quite well were in the backseat: Jeno, sharpening his knife with repetitive moves, and Johnny, who still had his knuckles red from a previous hunt. From all three, Doyun was the colleague you trusted the least — and much to your dislike, he was in charge of the operation.

“We’ll act fast and be done with it. These omegas offer almost no resistance,” he cooed before his eyes landed on the glasses on your thigh. “What’s that for?”

Like a good alpha, you took care of your omega’s belongings.

“A victory statement,” you lied. 

It took about an hour until you arrived at the nearby town, the paddy wagon smoothly driving through the suburbs. The minutes before a hunt started were always rough on you. Those people had lives of their own. Parents, friends, mates and children. Hobbies. The laws that separated you from them were as blinding as a fog. They did not deserve the suffering. The humiliation.

The sun shone in deadly sparkles of orange.

Doyun parked in front of an ordinary house. At his command, you all left the car, quickly following behind as he broke inside, coming across five different faces startled in fear: a middle-age couple, with an alpha male and an omega female, and three kids.

Fuck.

“Oh, look at what we have here,” Doyun chuckled under his breath, smoothly removing the knife from his hip. The blade shone like crystal water under the sun. “Such a beautiful family… What a shame it will be to hurt any of you.”

The kids hid behind the mother, tugging on her dress. You first noticed the bite on her neck, where the alpha’s teeth had sunk to make her forever his — then, your eyes slid down to her tummy, shaped a little rounder underneath the fabric. “Please, leave my kids and wife out of this,” the male begged. “I’ll go with you if you promise they will be safe.”

Your stomach turned over nauseously. “Doyun, they already have kids. Let them be,” you argued.

“Why?” He looked at you like a snake would look at a mouse. “They’re probably hiding the omega pack, Y/N. We need to make them speak.”

“They are mates and she is pregnant. Anything different from leaving them alone is pure masochism.”

“You���re softer. Is it because of that omega? Does he really mean something to you?” Doyun swiftly aimed the blade of his knife at you. “You haven’t been hired to care, Y/N. You’ve been hired to act. You better remember that.”

You held his gaze strongly, even when he stepped so closer it reverberated in your bones like a threat. Your blood boiled red.

“Jeno, you grab the kids. Johnny, take care of the man,” Doyun commanded, looking over each one of you until his eyes bore into yours one more time. “The woman is mine.”

Perhaps it was your love for Jaehyun that spoke louder, but this time you could not tolerate any more bullshit. Deep in your guts, it just didn’t feel right to allow alphas to wander as a crown made their heads weigh. As others owed them unconditional respect, a respect they did not own. Every person who was thought of as being of a lower class, as though they only existed for others’ pleasure and use… It was Jaehyun’s face you saw when you looked at omegas.

Any move from your side could easily destroy years of disguise and fakery, of hiding behind the mask you intended on using to protect Jaehyun, but you knew your priorities now. You knew that, in order to support your mate, you too had to be yourself.

The alpha that liked baking. The woman that fell in love with a rebel soul.

Clenching your fist, you tilted your head and grinned softly. “You fucking wish.”

How quickly your hand came for his cheek was even beyond you, the impact so powerful your fingers snapped. Mixed with the sudden pain, Doyun’s surprise was the perfect opportunity for you to kick the knife off his hand before he could retaliate. 

And retaliate he did, throwing you against the wall. The shock of your back against it made you hiss, but the sound was cut short when Doyun wrapped a hand around your throat. A clean kick of your boots between his legs was enough for him to let you go, coming to his knees right in front of you.

For a moment, you crossed eyes with Johnny, who was already taking the family outside to the car, to take them somewhere safer.

Jeno, on the other hand, simply stared at the door frame as confusion munched longly at his features.

When you blinked again, the knife you had kicked away had caused a sharp, deep cut in your thigh. You hissed and stepped back in pain, your breath fast now that blood soaked your jeans, warm and red.

“I’m taking you back to the capital, Y/N,” Doyun’s smirk was perversely mocking. “They will make a fantastic breeding bitch out of you.”

Your entire body burned like a merciless fire. With one certain move, your fist collided with Doyun’s jawline, causing an awful sound echo through the walls. 

You knew how jaws sounded when they broke.

Looking over at Jeno, you hummed in deep breaths. “Are you a good boy, Jeno?” He nodded, in awe. “Then, help me with this motherfucker.”

Doyun offered little resistance when Jeno lifted him up. Even his kicks and punches were a mere attempt as he had one of his hands trying to hold his dislocated jawline in place, teary eyes big with the pain. Never before you had seen him so defenseless. It made you proud. 

You met with Johnny outside. “Fuck, Y/N. You’re hurt.”

Only now you noticed your blood was drawing an exposing trail on the floor. “I think my disguise ends here,” you chuckled dryly.

“Probably, but we do have more important things to tend to now,” Johnny retorted.

“Care to stitch me up before I drive?” you asked, making him frown.

“You’re driving? Y/N, I don’t think that’s a good id-”

“My mate needs me,” you interrupted. “I can’t make him wait longer. Can you keep the family safe?”

“Absolutely,” Johnny nodded. “What about Jeno?”

Looking over as Jeno locked Doyun inside the back of the paddy wagon, you breathed. “I’ll take him with me.”

“So you’re a spy?” Jeno asked in the back, as he made sure to watch Doyun, who was cuffed to the seat and sleeping peacefully after you had punched him in the head. You were not going to drive with him trying to speak all the way to the capital.

“You can say that,” you said while driving, hissing low whenever you had to use your leg. Even with Johnny’s skilled stitching and the painkillers, it hurt like hell. “At least I was until earlier today.” Now, you were just a rebel. Out in the open.

“And Johnny too?”

“And Johnny too.”

“Holy shit, you’re really good!” His surprised tone nearly made you chuckle.

“There is always space for new people, you know,” you encouraged, looking at Jeno over the rearview mirror. “You have a good heart, Jeno. You can work for a better cause.”

He looked down, a lonely strand of his black hair falling onto his forehead. “I don’t know… I think I’d easily get caught.”

“We all think that at some point. Then, we just get used to it.”

Jeno spoke no more. You too preferred to stay silent.

Every mile you drove meant a mile closer to Jaehyun. You could not wait to get to him. To finally let your arms embrace his sweet body.

A small red sign that twinkled by the steering wheel called your attention. Shit. You were running out of gas. “Jeno, I’m stopping to fill up. You keep an eye on Doyun for me, okay?”

Thankfully, you stopped at a gas station minutes later, quickly jumping out of the wagon. You were about to pay when Jeno called you. “Y/N, can you get me some snacks, please?”

“Sure. Anything in particular?

“I like shrimp crackers.”

And so you grabbed some at the convenience store, as well as bottles of water to keep you and Jeno hydrated. It was going to take another two hours until you reached the capital, and you had a feeling it was going to seem like twice the amount of time.

As you approached the cashier, you noticed small, lovely cakes placed around the line, and a specific flavor made your heart flutter. Those pistachio cakes were not to be compared to yours, but they could be a perfect small treat for Jaehyun. For when you would meet again.

Influenced by sweetness, your eyes lifted from the cakes to the glass door that faced the station. It was only then that you noticed Jeno was outside the wagon, with Doyun by his side. 

Doyun had a gun in his hand.

Everything you held in your hands fell to the floor at the same time the bullet pierced the glass — and by then, you were already on your fours, searching for a way out. Another gunshot was heard as you rolled to your right, noticing a back door at the other side of the store. You ran to it in no time, as fast as you could even when the wound in your leg pulsated, and frantically looked around, searching for a way to escape.

There was an old man talking on the phone by his bike, and you did not think twice before pushing him aside. “I’m really sorry,” you apologized while grabbing his keys and phone, jumping on and starting his bike as if your life depended on it.

Well, it did.

One final time, you looked over your shoulder to witness both Jeno and Doyun behind you. A last shot was heard.

As you rode, the bullet in your shoulder bled through and through.

The headquarters were nothing like Jaehyun expected: less like separated buildings where the rebels hid, and more like a normal city, where people lived commonly. The only difference was that the only way inside was through a tunnel that was watched nonstop, certain as the sun came back every day. “The police are on our side,” Taeyong explained. “It’s safe.”

Jaehyun saw omegas, betas and alphas living so freely it even surprised his own expectations. Omegas worked as police officers, betas were teachers, and he got a glimpse of an alpha taking his kids to the local playground.

That place was everything he had ever dreamt of. And you were part of it.

“This is Y/N’s house. Like, her real house. She has an apartment in the capital too, for disguise purposes,” Taeyong hummed after he parked in front of a simple one floor house, even if Jaehyun knew to whom the house belonged to even before the alpha had said one word. The entire place smelled like you. “She told me to bring you here.”

Jaehyun grinned widely. God’s clouds all over his head again.

“Thank you, Taeyong.”

“It’s fine. Again, I’m sorry for taking longer to come and get you.” Suddenly, the alpha’s face lit up. “Ah, here, Y/N told me to buy you these.”

New glasses. Almost identical to the ones he previously had.

Taeyong left Jaehyun on his own after that. With the keys in his hands, the omega breathed deeply, looking around carefully, and recognizing you in the small details: the pictures of your mother on the wall, the resistant plants, the bakery books on the shelves, and the kitchen utensils that were worn out by how many cakes you had baked.

Jaehyun did not know it was possible, but he felt so much more in love with you his eyes teared. It was like digging deep into his being and sleeping in the calmest nest of his thankful wishing. Slowly and without noticing what he was doing, he started gathering small items that brought him comfort. One of the pillows on your bed, your hairbrush, a silky black gown you probably wore for sleeping in the summer, and a pair of your biker gloves. Jaehyun lied down on the bed with all those items nested inside his arms. His eyes closed to dream of you. 

It was already night when his eyes opened again. Your scent, rawer than ever, came from the window as rain suited the neighborhood like a hat. And it was violently metallic.

After throwing your phone in the road and grabbing the one you stole, you called Taeyong and sent him your localization. The bullet in your shoulder hurt more excruciatingly at each passing second, but it was not enough to keep you from your final destination. You rode through the setting sun and the first clouds that gathered in the darkest shades of gray. You rode through thunder and lighting. Through the heavy summer rain. 

When you got to the tunnel, you broke down in Taeyong’s arms.

Even though your ears understood every word your friend told you, because you automatically nodded in acknowledgement, your mind was too busy to make a full idea of what he said. The only thing you fully got, between delirium and the wetness that soaked your muscles, was that Jaehyun was safe.

Then, Taeyong took you to the hospital. You allowed it only because you did not want Jaehyun to see you injured. It would be a sin to scare him.

Similar to blank pages on a diary, the next hours were numb and almost imperceptible to you. Most of the time, your eyes remained closed out of tiredness, your body claiming its need to rest after the adrenaline flood in your veins. But a few things you remembered.

Taeyong was right next to you as the doctor, a young female omega, gave him instructions. “It will only cause more damage if we remove the bullet, actually. Her body will just surround it with a scar tissue and wall it off, but we should give her painkillers for a few days.”

You groaned on the bed, feeling a little more sober now, as you even registered the raindrops hitting the ceiling. “All of them, please,” your voice came out hoarse and exhausted. Much to your relief, you had already been medicated.

“Y/N, are you alright?” Taeyong leaned over.

“I’ve been worse,” you replied. 

“We’ve sterilized your wounds, miss,” the doctor explained. “The bullet in your shoulder isn’t fatal, so the best thing to do is to leave it there. It’d be more dangerous if we tried to pull it out.”

You nodded in agreement. “If you say, I don’t mind it.” Your eyes slowly opened to meet Taeyong’s. “Where’s Jaehyun?”

Your friend smiled in amusement. “At your house. I didn’t want to call him.”

“Good,” you nodded.

In perfect timing, your face turned as soon as the doors were open, only to land on a very familiar face, one that you would recognize amongst a million. Your person was right there, soaked in rain, dripping on the hospital room floor, and he was smiling. Jaehyun was smiling through the droplets that fell from the black strands of his hair. So beautiful he could lend a bit of his beauty to every man on earth and still be the most handsome.

“Y/N,” oh, his voice… His beautiful, deep voice opened every curtain of your body, letting the sun shine through. Like a vice, his musky scent calmed down your heart.

You opened your arms to him, and the moment Jaehyun hugged you was like the weight of the world was removed from your shoulders. He was wet and cold, but also so warm that the greatest bonfire could not compare. The firmness of his chest against your breasts, his breath against the curve of his neck, his gentle fingers removing the hair from your face, strands that stuck to your skin due to your salty tears.

“Are you alright?” you sobbed. “I’m so sorry, Jae. I’m so sorry.”

“Shh, don’t. Please, Y/N, I know it,” he looked into your eyes reassuringly. “Taeyong told me everything. I know. You don’t have to feel sorry.”

Your tears fell down your cheeks like waterfalls as you rested your hands on his elbows.

“Are you alright? Do you need anything?” he asked. 

“Yes. Stay with me.”

You did not have to ask twice. Jaehyun was never leaving your side. 

His hand held yours long after the nurse and Taeyong had left. “You should sleep, Y/N. You went through a lot,” he advised, letting the tip of his fingers tug your hair behind your ear. 

“Why sleep when I finally have what I want? Two days waiting for you felt like an eternity,” you admitted, your voice low and serious. “They might have been rough on you.”

Jaehyun both nodded and brushed the tip of his thumb against the surface of your hand. “They were, but I suffered the most because I was heartbroken. I get it, though. Why things went the way they did.”

“I thought I was going to protect you for longer if I kept my identity, but it’s all over now,” you sighed. “I should have ran away with you when I  had the chance.”

“You didn’t know, Y/N. It’s okay.”

You looked into Jaehyun’s eyes the most sincerely, squeezing his hand into yours. “Do you forgive me, Jae?”

“There’s nothing to forgive.” The kiss he planted on your forehead felt like a mating bite. Like true, eternal love.

For two more days, the doctor insisted that you stayed under observation. Gratefully, your wounds seemed to act quick in the solemn act of healing, as bandages were constantly changed by Jaehyun’s delicate hands, so smoothly you only felt slight tickles when his fingers applied the prescribed ointments. 

In moments like that, you felt blessed that your mate took care of you like you intended to take care of him, regardless of your status. Alpha, omega… It didn’t matter. You were both responsible for each other.

Also, you thrived like a cherry blossom in spring whenever he tended to your needs.

“You mate might have magical hands. Your wounds are almost fully dry, miss,” the doctor grinned when she came to last check on you. 

Instead of bringing any biological or scientific explanation, you simply nodded. “Does it mean I’m free to leave?” you asked excitedly.

“You are, with the condition that you keep the exact treatment you’ve been doing here for seven more days.”

“You have my word,” Jaehyun spoke, looking bright like a winter night behind his glasses, and with a frank, happy smile on his lips.

An hour later, you left the hospital with your hand in his. The day was warm, the sky a lighter shade of blue as a few clouds played in the open. At the extreme and joyous brightness, your eyes tightened, and Jaehyun immediately used his free hand to hover over them.

You were going home.

Your house exhaled the lustful aroma of orange fields even more now that you were back to it, your pheromones and scent prominent like you were intentionally marking your territory. To Jaehyun, it was overwhelming, his sensitive nostrils addicted to every breath, his hands shaking from how badly he was trying to control his needs, taking suppressants to muffle any chance he went into heat. It was only going to distract you from healing, anyway, and no matter how he liked to think you were both safe, Jaehyun still feared alpha hunters would suddenly appear. 

So he did what he thought best and played it safe. He cooked for you — your favorite dishes constantly on the table —, cleaned your wounds and slept with you, placing a chaste kiss to your forehead with every goodnight. Everything in those days felt comfortingly domestic, so much that Jaehyun knew, like the tree branches knew how to grow, that he could live days like that for the rest of his life.

“I haven’t been able to decorate the house with flowers in ages,” you sighed, eyeing the empty vases around your living room. “We should go on picking some today.”

“Isn’t your leg hurting?”

“Oh, this?” You chuckled, rubbing the stitches on your thigh. Summer had gotten so scorching you finally decided to put on shorts instead of pants, allowing Jaehyun to see more of you. “Looks uglier than it hurts.”

“You wouldn’t be ugly even if you tried your best, Y/N. Not a single part of you.” 

There they were again. The reddest ears you had even seen. 

“Sweet,” you praised with a peck to his dimpled cheek. “Let’s go!”

It was only when you arrived at the fields that Jaehyun realized your idea could not have been better. It was a perfect day to pick flowers, and even if he missed the town where you two met, the fields at the secret city were just as beautiful. Peonies, orchids, sunflowers, roses, lilies, and several sorts of plants grew over the horizon — the colorful sight was soul pleasing. With glowing eyes, Jaehyun admired how skilfully you cut the stems. 

“I think we’ve got enough,” you stood up, putting some white lilies on the bucket he carried. Your eyes traveled up and, for a moment, you salivated at the image. His defined muscles clenched under his tangled sleeves, his shining black hair reflecting the sun, his brown eyes innocently holding your gaze. “Wow.”

Jaehyun frowned. “What?”

“You. I don’t think I ever said how beautiful you are.”

He fixed his glasses in that adorable way that showed both nervousness and care, looking down at the colorful bucket. “Oh, thank you.”

Swiftly, you pulled him by the hand until his chest met yours. “Why are you still on suppressants?” you asked calmly. 

His eyes met yours again. “I don’t think it’s the right time to let it happen,” Jaehyun admitted. You could tell he was putting some effort into holding your confronting gaze. “You’ve been through a lot.”

“To get to you. Now that I have, I don’t feel like holding back. Is that okay?”

His cheeks resembled the peonies you had grabbed. “Yes, miss.”

“Don’t call me miss,” you reached for his hands with a smile that, to Jaehyun, uncrowned the sun. Your lips against his wrists left a feverish sensation on his skin. “I want you to call me yours.”

He swallowed, wetting his plump lips with his tongue before speaking. “My… My love.”

There were no words to describe how accomplished your heart beat at those words, like all the questions deep in your soul were answered by three simple syllables. Confidently, you stood on the tip of your toes, leaning closer as your eyes alternated between Jaehyun’s eyes and lips. He leaned closer too.

Your lips touched with the sun’s blessing. 

With a hand on his nape, you kissed him so slowly it was possible to feel inch by inch of his mouth widening. A low, raspy moan escaped your throat when Jaehyun’s tongue found yours. He kissed you like songs were created, melody, rhythm and lyrics combining, making sense, becoming one. You could kiss him for hours, and you were probably going to if raindrops had not started falling heavily from the sky.

Parting ways with your laughter as background music, you ran straight to the closest shelter: a small and abandoned wooden barn, that at least was going to be of use until the rain passed. 

It took one look for you to notice you were both soaked, fresh with rain, and so ready for each other it could be cut in the air with a knife.

After placing the bucket on the floor to let the flowers dry, Jaehyun kissed you again. This time, your tongues moved heatedly, drawing sensual circles around each other. Because there was no need to rush, you seized every bit of the kiss, from how your heads leaned forward to how Jaehyun’s lower lip brushed yours. You wanted to breathe him in. To lick him whole. To drink his every drop. Nobody had ever kissed you like that before, so warm and wanting it felt as though the sky was breaking open. Like a theft, your hand slid, gentle and demanding, under the soaked fabric of his white shirt. 

“Is this okay?” You had to make sure.

“Yes,” Jaehyun breathed affectedly, feeling your nails against the defined muscles of his abdomen. His damped hair was dripping raindrops. “Is it for you too?”

“Yes.”

“I can wait a little longer, until we get home, if you want.”

“You’re my home,” Jaehyun retorted, and you were kissing him all over again.

For once in your life, it felt right to let go and devour the world with your own mouth. You took Jaehyun’s shirt off, kissing his muscles like a devotee worshiped a saint, memorizing every mole from his hip to his neck. 

For once in your life, you let someone undress you, and kissed his knuckles in gratitude because it felt safe. Even if he could see the scars on your stomach. The marks of every plan going wrong. Every hunt, every lie. 

“It’s fine,” you whispered. 

But of course Jaehyun had to kiss you right there. Of course he had to press his plump, swollen lips from kissing against where you had been the weakest. “You’re beautiful, my love,” he murmured as his hands roamed your body, thumbs situated on the curve of your waist as his fingers sank against the fat of your skin. Your nipples peaked harder against the cool, fresh air. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Want you to make me yours.”

The shiver that ran down your spine was like thunder touching the ocean’s deepest ground. “You want me to bite you?” A bite given by your mate formed a permanent, unbreakable bond. It was a definitive and territorial claim, like the scar your teeth would leave in his skin.

Jaehyun’s instant and certain nod could easily have killed you with how fucking sweet he was. 

With your lips back on his, your hands pulled your shorts down your legs; your panties rested where they landed, the bottom glistening with thick arousal. Proudly naked in front of your mate, you jumped on a table that was gladly by the barn’s door. It looked firm enough for what you were going to do. 

Spreading your legs enough to offer him a peak of your core, you guided his wrist under your navel. “You look big, my love,” you murmured, giving in that you had absolutely noticed the girth in his pants. “Can you prep me a little?”

There was nothing Jaehyun would deny you. Readily, his hands spread your legs a little wider, and the tip of his fingers ran against your soaked, sliging lips. His gaze took as long as it needed staring at your folds, as though Jaehyun wished to commit the image to his memory in all its colors and shapes. 

“It’s my first time,” lifting his eyes to yours, he confessed.

“So is mine,” you smiled. “I’ve only used toys.”

Jaehyun’s irises glimmered. So you were about to discover sex together, every stage of it, every thing that would and would not work out.

Fuck, what a lucky bastard he was. 

Ever so gently, Jaehyun slid two of his slender fingers inside you, making you immediately clench around them with a breathy moan. “Go slow,” you instructed, only to find out Jaehyun did not need any of your orientations. Soon, he was with his mouth on your nipples as his fingers drew wet echoes in the barn, going at a pace that pressured a sensitive spot within your folds.

“You’re perfect,” Jaehyun grunted, needing you to know how amazing he was feeling just with his fingers buried in you, his eyes amazed to see such a breathtaking view. “So soft and wet, my love. Better than any toy I’ve used.”

“Baby,” you moaned, melting with how sweet Jaehyun sounded and how handsome he was when he concentrated on your body, those deep brown eyes focused on your cunt. His scent, too, was slowly driving you to insanity, feeding a brutal, biological need inside your guts. Growling, you tugged at his pants. “Take these off.”

It would be a shame to leave you waiting. Without removing his fingers from your clenching walls, Jaehyun pulled his pants and boxers to his feet with his free hand.

Your mouth drooled at the sight. How handsome he was, from head to toe, every color and vein, just for you... “Fuck, I want you,” you breathed impatiently.

The deep grunt that left Jaehyun when he pulled his fingers out came from the depths of his ribcage. From the tip to the base, his long fingers glistened with your pulpy juices. Almost too much to take. “Can I have a taste first?” he asked with eyes so allured you wanted to fuck him right then and there, but you complied, relishing as your omega got on his knees.

You removed his glasses to keep them from getting foggy.

At the first touch of his tongue on you, your toes curled at the edge of the table, your body unable to control its own responsiveness. You did not know if you liked the pleasurable sensations on your clit the most, or if it was how Jaehyun’s face was crafted while he had the time of his life between your legs. Even if impatience ate at your limbs, you let him suck and lick your pussy all he wanted, drowning in the slurping noises echoing in the barn. “Feels so good, baby. You’re so talented, doing this for the first time,” you praised, resting on your elbows as you watched, drawing slow circles with your hips for his mouth to follow. “That face is mine to cum, huh?”

Jaehyun moaned with his mouth still on you, looking up from where he so devotedly stood. “Yes. Just yours.”

“Good,” you tugged at his hair just slightly to lift his face back to yours. Your taste in his mouth was like oranges, like falling in love and lust. “I’m going to use it later.”

Thunder fell outside, lighting up the afternoon sky, as you adjusted on the table and kissed Jaehyun passionately. He grabbed the base of his member and aligned it with your entrance, rubbing the head, leaking with precum, up and down a few times. “Do you want me to pull out?”

“Hell no,” you shook your head with a grin. “I’m on birth control. I want your knot, angel.”

With his wet hair dripping on your stomach, Jaehyun grabbed the side of the table with such strength that it made his veins clench. You calling him sweet names nearly had his eyes rolling to the back of his skull. You were a temptress, so delicious and with a beauty that ended every standard, so knowing and lustful, and he was eager to please you, to feel your every inch, to make sweat and cum glisten on your skin like pearls. “You’re so good,” he muttered overwhelmingly, and even before he understood his own body, the head of his cock was welcomed by a wanton grip, one that soaked him warm and made his balls tense with how much cum he had for you. “You‘re the best alpha I could ask for, so beautiful and lovely, I’m so happy my heart is yours,” he mumbled, making your heart flutter.

You threw your head back when he was fully inside you, occupying the space sex toys, as effective as they were, never did. Your gaze held his all the time, even when they darkened with desire. You wanted to remember that scene forever. You wanted to keep it to your heart, the first time your omega felt your pussy around him. “I’m happy too, love. Madly,” you smiled. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes. You?”

“Wonderful. You can move.”

Gripping the table’s edge, Jaehyun slowly retracted his hips only to slam them back again. The way his face clenched could be put in a painting and hung in a museum, because it was pure art, from his eyebrows to the curse that died on his lips. “I can feel you tightening around me.”

“Does it feel good?”

“Fuck, yes,” he breathed, this time thrusting a bit faster, which was a synonym for erratically. “S-shit, did I hurt you?”

“I’m not made of glass, Jaehyun. You can go harder,” you encouraged by planting a kiss on his lips and guiding his hand to grab your hip.

With that, Jaehyun was lost forever. He let years of suppressed heats explode in every blood cell, in every breath and thrust of his hips. He let himself be the savage, lewd creature his desire crafted, and only for you he moaned, your name like wine on his lips, the jiggle of your breasts and thighs feeding his arousal, his knot forming quicker than he liked.

You saw his eyes turn into needy orbs, his agape mouth letting out the most guttural moans you ever heard, and the exposure of his thick, masculine neck had your teeth sharpening in seconds. 

You pulled him closer, your breasts rubbing against his chest. 

Your teeth touched his skin, and that lovely musky, leathery scent edged you on. They sank through skin, blood and muscle, the sharp edges piercing the core of Jaehyun’s soul, until it was tangled to yours. You moaned with his blood in your mouth, feeling how your heartbeats aligned, how your pupils left almost no space for the color of your irises, how Jaehyun’s knot formed firm and long inside you. You took it ravishingly, shivering on the shaking table, lost somewhere between Jaehyun’s moans and the feeling of his body flush to yours, until you managed to gather enough consciousness to remove your teeth and offer him your neck.

The mere thing Jaehyun saw was your mouth, bloodied, smiling in permission, before he dived in to make you his as much as he was yours.

Equally.

“So you’re telling me that after leaving my shop to a complete stranger and traveling for hours I can’t see my friend?” Haechan crossed his arms stubbornly. 

“Johnny is not that much of a stranger. He’ll have the time of his life selling things for you” Taeyong chuckled. “But yes, you definitely can’t see Jaehyun now. He’s in heat.”

“And when is it going to be over?”

Taeyong shrugged. “In one week, I guess?”

“All that?”

“I told you, there was no use in coming with me, but you insisted.”

Haechan sighed, not wanting to admit Taeyong was right. “Is Y/N with him?”

“Where else would she be? She is his mate now.”

“So all they will be doing for an entire week is to be locked up, fucking each other’s brains out?”

“Correct.”

Haechan rubbed his face in frustration. “And to think that I was worried about him…”

Jaehyun admired the two small teeth marks on your neck as he breathed in and out.

“Color?” you demanded.

“Green,” he replied, looking so deliciously pliable your mouth watered.

You were finally in a scenario Jaehyun had pictured uncountable times inside his head: in your bedroom, which now was quite honestly a nest for the both of you, somewhere your omega felt comfortable and had his most primitive needs tended to, while slow rhythm and blues played, and the aroma of freshly baked pistachio cakes filled the house. Not only was Jaehyun surrounded by things that had your natural scent shirts — pillows, a leather jacket, biker gloves and plushies — but you were there all the time, no exception, to keep him well fed, hydrated and completely satisfied.

You even had rubbed your pussy on a pillow for him, one that he kept his nose buried in.

Right now, you had Jaehyun’s naked body restrained by ropes, your hands working on the delicate yet firm knots that kept his hands behind his back, his wrists tied together, and his chest tied to one of his thighs. It was the sound of your breathing and the notes of the rope coming against the ground that turned him on, the helplessness and vulnerability to be put in your beautiful hands… Oh, Jaehyun loved it.

You had been hidden in the nest for three days. However, it felt like an eternity of knowing your mate and savoring his every reaction. Since you weren’t much experienced, both you and Jaehyun found out what you liked together, and the absolute attention you paid to one another was holy, like a prayer whispered at night.

“This will leave lovely marks on your skin,” you grinned wholeheartedly, brushing his hair back. A thin layer of sweat covered his skin. 

“I love you,” Jaehyun let out as quick as a bubble exploding. Your beauty shook him to the core. “I love you so much.”

“And I love you,” you let your hand drift to where he needed you the most. “Are you sure you’re not sensitive? Is it like, your sixth boner today?”

“I can take it. Please,” he reassured. 

“How do you want to cum this time, baby? My hand?” Jaehyun shook his head. “My mouth?” Another shake. “All the way in?”

Jaehyun nodded, wetting his lips with his tongue. “Want you to ride me.” 

You replied by straddling his lap.

It always amused him, how fucking beautiful you were on top. Your tits were perfect in his hands and mouth, the curve of your waist giving space to the adorable fat in your belly, and how your thighs spread over his was just cinema. “Thank you, my love,” Jaehyun smiled. 

“The pleasure is all mine,” you assured, rubbing the slick of your core against his swollen member before taking it all in, starting a quickened pace so your lovely boy could find his relief one more time. 

Because his hands were restrained, Jaehyun couldn’t touch you, but he still stared in awe at the earthquaking vision of you rocking his world. You swallowed him full, making his cock disappear inside your entrance only to poke at your navel from inside out. Your pussy was his favorite place to be, where he felt the happiest, blessed in mind, body and soul, and you let him feast on it whenever he wanted. Your darling, loving man.

“Let go for me,” sweetly, you pecked his forehead.

Jaehyun felt his cock harden an almost impossible amount, his balls aching with cum, before he was moaning helplessly, his knot firmly attaching to your uterus.

It was the look on his face that made you cum along, riding his cock faster, eating from every move of his good looking face.

A thin drop of sweat ran down Jaehyun’s temple as you both calmed down, ecstasy giving space to a loving, bonding gaze. “I think we’re getting better at this,” he cooed, making you laugh. 

“No doubt. We will be unstoppable once your heat ends.”

“I don’t want it to end.”

“Cute.” Softly, you lifted your hips. His member, glimmering in juices and white cum, rested against Jaehyun’s stomach. 

It was going to take minutes for it to get hard again. 

“Y/N,” he called.

“Yes, angel?”

“Can you make yourself cum for me?”

How you held your breath had Jaehyun close to wishing his hands were free to make you cum himself. But oh, he wanted to watch. He still was not over how beautiful you looked when you had an orgasm. 

You smiled widely. “I think I love you even more with every word you say.”

Grabbing a light pink vibrator from the bedside table drawer, you rested back on the mattress with those attentive brown eyes following your every move. The device’s buzz filled up the room with a naughty promise. You brushed it gently against your nipples, then down your belly, all over your thighs and finally where Jaehyun loved the most.

He watched without a word, licking his lips when you moaned wantonly, first focusing the vibrations on your clit before easily sliding the vibrator inside your cum soaked hole. “Fuck,” you cried.

You dripped pearly white on the sheets. A beautiful sight. 

Jaehyun’s skin shivered with goosebumps. Every damn time. “I’m so lucky,” he uttered, eyes glued to your pussy. “I’m so fucking lucky.”

As sweet and gentle-mannered as he was, Jaehyun could kill for the smile that bloomed on your face, so pure and adorable even if your cunt clenched around the toy. Your hand slid low, starting to rub long circles on your clit. “You are. Even more knowing that you’re going to fuck me dumb when I’m done.”

Most of his life, Jaehyun was told alphas strictly played the dominant role in the bedroom. Now, however, nothing thrilled him more than the perspective of switching roles with you. 

You offered him the world. You allowed him to be.

He grunted quietly and yet deeply, already counting the signs of your orgasm approaching. First, your tightening drunk eyes; second, your hips rolling erratically; third, your chest trembling in long breaths that prolonged your ecstasy. “That’s it, my love. That’s it, looking so pretty for me…”

The moment your orgasm kicked in had your hole visibly pulsating, your mouth agape and your eyes rolling back. You let out a high-pitched moan as your back arched, and pulled the toy away fast, your swollen clit way too sensitive to receive further stimulation.

With his cock so hard it ached, Jaehyun admired in awe, unconsciously trying to get rid of the ropes that restrained him, which only caused them to burn hotter against his porcelain skin. He was so immersed that the only moment he noticed he was drooling was when spit ran down his chin. “Fuck.”

You sat on your thighs, readily licking his saliva and running your fingers through the knots on his back. The loveliest smirk decorated your face. “Time we untie you, angel.”

The experience of being untied was, perhaps, just as good as being tied up. Jaehyun watched with pupils dilated, taking small breaths of relief when the rope loosened around his skin, leaving red and pink marks on his body where it pressed. You watched in full delight, kissing the marks that blossomed in a deeper shade. “You’re so good for doing this, Jaehyunnie. I’m so lucky too, my love.”

He sighed when the rope fell entirely to the mattress, his muscles relaxing in freedom. Without waiting any longer, Jaehyun kissed you long, hands roaming up and down your curves. Smoothly, he turned you around, with your chest to the sheets and your ass up in the air. “Jaehyunnie is going to fuck you raw now, like dogs do,” he whispered, both his hands caressing your butt cheeks, his fingers slaves to both adoration and perversion. “Color?”

You smiled over your shoulder.

“Green. A thousand times green.”

You stared at the ceiling as your body rested in awe, a smile plastered on your face like it was permanent ink. 

For the past few days, you had tended to Jaehyun rawly. Ravishing and frankly, to a point your bodies collided in exhaustion. All you had the strength to do was wrapping into each other’s embrace and sleeping for hours before you started it all over again. 

After a specific round that left you breathless, your thighs shaking from overstimulation, his voice came out soft. “What now, Y/N?”

You hummed, leaning against his bare chest. “Hm?”

“What is it gonna be when we leave this room?”

“To give you an answer, I have to know what you want,” you replied, even though you were already considering the possibilities. Doyun was not going to stop hunting you, that much you were certain. You would never be safe as long as the government continued to sponsor people like him.

Jaehyun stared into the ceiling for a few seconds. “It is nice here. I feel safe and loved. I think I’ve always wanted that, too.”

“But?” you risked.

“But I don’t think it’s right for us to hide forever. What was built here has to be normalized out there, in the open,” he breathed. “I want to go back to the shop. I want to see the sea and listen to the birds sing in the morning. I want every omega in the world to have the opportunities they have here.”

Your chin rested on his chest, eyelashes batting softly as sunlight crystallized your irises. “Is that what you want? To rebuild the world?”

Jaehyun nodded.

“Good. I’ll give it to you,” you sealed your promise with a peck on his lips. Jaehyun’s eyes widened slightly as he puckered his mouth against yours. 

“W-what do you mean?”

“I mean I will be the rebel to fucking stab the system in its throat.”

At that, Jaehyun got hard all over again. His eyes, so pure, blinked in a sparkling admiration. “I’ll fight with you.”

“Don’t say nonsense. You’re not fighting.”

“I think we agreed alphas don’t make choices for omegas,” he ran his hand through the sweaty strands of your hair. “If you fight, Y/N, I will fight with you.”

You let him be right. In every word and intention. In every truth of his desiring heart. And when Jaehyun smiled, his soul promised you way more than guns, hideouts and blood.

It was something worth fighting for.

[maximumkillshot]

I Can't Lose You-Part 12

Warnings: Tooth Rotting Fluff, mentions of doctors appointments, that's it!

Pairing: BangChan x Reader

Characters: All the boys except Chan, although Chan is mentioned, Reader

A/N: The reader needs a break!!! So here we are. This one is fluffy, it feels good to me. I hope you guys like it! Also, I am pretty sure I had two seizures in the last two days (At least). Thank you to everyone for being so patient. I will try to resume my Friday schedule. Thank you so much for your understanding and well wishes!!

ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE. 

ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

I Can't Lose You Masterlist-CLICK HERE

Stray Kids Masterlist-CLICK HERE

Bin POV:

“Everyone ready to go?” I asked. Early in the morning the psychiatrist came in to talk to Y/N. They asked me to come in for a few seconds with Han. They let us know that they really didn’t want her anywhere near the house and to stay with at least Han and I, but it was preferable for most if not all of us to be there for at least the first week. The trauma tied to the 3 Racha house is just too much at this point, the doctors were also worried about Chan making the recovery even worse than it already is. Y/N agreed wholeheartedly and with that she was given follow up appointments. Finally the latest blood tests came just before lunch and she was given a clean bill of health and an outpatient appointment for her OBGYN. Felix, Minho, I.N., and Hyunjin all went to the DanceRacha house to start prepping for us to head there. Felix texted me that he had a few surprises for her which made me smile, she needs a good surprise right about now. 

I’m still worried about Y/N. The DanceRacha dorms are a good option, but I know that for me, I still have memories tied to Chris there. I’m wondering if that is exactly what she is thinking. I can’t help but worry about it. “Remember the deal with the doctors is for you to be away from that house and with your support system. Are you sure you don’t want a place of your own? I want you to be comfortable as you heal.” 

“I don’t have the money for that,” Y/N smiled at me. It was a reassuring one, as if she could read my mind. She and I always had this connection. Whenever I was feeling down she would pop in to see how I was doing. 

I remember one time, it was maybe 3am and I was working on lyrics. They were risky, going double the speed of the song's beat, the technique is called ‘double time’ in rapping. Fast spitting rappers do it all the time, think Eminem and Busta Rhymes. It was my first time attempting it and I contemplated each and every syllable like a landmine. Writing it wasn't the issue, it was being able to deliver it while dancing. Those syllables take up a lot of air, not to mention the brutality that comes with dancing and singing at the same time. Our steps aren't insanely difficult, but they definitely take up oxygen like no one's business. So I'd get up, do push ups, jumping jacks, burpees, anything to get my heart rate up to about what it would be when performing, then I'd try to deliver the lines. Doing this is always painful, your body is screaming at you to stop talking, hunch over, and gasp for air. Obviously, we can't do that, so we try our hardest to build endurance. Some are like Chan, who sing while doing cardio (which is insane, by the way, I felt like I was dying when I tried it), some are like LeeKnow, packing on layer after layer of heavy clothing before and during dance practice, forcing the body to exert itself so much that when all of those layers are off, each movement and breath is a breeze (also insanity to do. It feels like working out in a sauna with a weighted, heated blanket on you). Me? I brute forced it. 

Anyway, Y/N noticed that I was really getting obsessed with these lyrics and doing them so that I was as close to the line of unhuman speed crossed with physical activity as possible. I'm the fastest rapper in the 4th generation and I wanted to show why I was. Y/N came into my room and said,“Binnie, you need to trust yourself. You know what's best, you have the best instincts I've ever seen. Remember, if you're about to dive in a pool, don't think about the height of the diving board, clear your mind, and jump in. Don't think, just do.” 

Even now, through all of this, you would think that a bond like that would be weakened, seeing her like that would make some pull away. It just brought me closer. I am in awe of her. The sheer will to live. The tenacity. The beauty in her broken parts know no bounds. It reminds me of ruins from ancient civilizations. Seeing the beauty in what was, and marveling at what is left. Only the strongest parts are left, the essence of that civilization. She is beyond anyone I've ever seen. Her capacity to love is beyond comprehension. 

That's why I am so happy to know her. To really know her. To be the person she reaches for, to ground herself. She trusts me to be there. And I will be. Simply because it’s an honor to love her. Money isn't an object for her. 

“Money isn’t a problem, would you like to be in a place of your own?” I asked again. I would spend my whole paycheck on her if I had the chance. She deserves to be spoiled.

“I still want to be at the other dorm, it’s familiar. For some reason I feel safe there. Is that okay?” She asked, looking at Seungmin. Little did she know that we had been talking about this for a bit before she woke up. We knew that pushing this topic on her would be too much, but at the same time, from what Seungmin told me, the doctors were never going to release her to the same house that Chris is in.

Seungmin chuckled, “Birdie, it’s not a problem, you have never not been welcome at my dorm, you know this,” he deadpanned. It is true…all of the boys over that house would get so excited as soon as they heard Y/N was coming over. They’d want to spend the entirety of the visit with her, a lot of the time they would start to pout if they felt she wasn't spending enough time with them. So when the idea came up their eyes lit up. Anywhere she goes, I'm not going anywhere. 

“Okay then it’s settled.” I smiled at her, combing a stray strand out of her face. I’m happy that she’s finally getting out of here. She has been through so much in such a short amount of time. She needs to be left alone. I am scared for her. I want her to be safe, and worries keep on popping in my head. How do I protect her? What if saesangs get a whiff that something is wrong? What if the company tried to force her to stay with Chris? What if she takes him back? That part hurt. Seeing how badly she was hurt simply because he was being an asshole. Simply because he treated a diamond like sand on a decrepit shore. The thought made me shake with rage as I looked at the woman in front of me, she looked at me with furrowed brows, that brought me back to her.

Y/N looked into my eyes at that moment, like she was tapped into my brain. She gave my hand a squeeze as she said, “Binnie? What's wrong, talk to me…” she shyly played with my fingers. Her touch was feather light given the bruises that formed on my knuckles. I wanted to tell her the truth about them. My impulse to be honest, making the words bubble in my throat. Right behind the truth of what I'm feeling.

I wanted to tell her I love you, I wanted to tell you for so long. The minute I met you I fell for you, your soft voice, your booming laugh, your corny jokes. All of it. Not just the you before but the you now. I know life is going to be hard for you, I want to be there. I want to stand next to you and catch you whenever you need to collapse. I will give you everything I have. You deserve to know what real love is. I know Chris isn't good for you. You don't need this pain, this heartache, you don't deserve to be treated like an option. You are the one and only person I ever loved and will continue to love for the rest of my life. I want you to be happy, and if it's not with me that's okay. I just want you to know that he isn't the only option. I am just one person, I am sure thousands of men would line up and down city blocks just to see you, let alone have a chance with you. Instead I said “ just thinking.”

There is a time and a place for everything. Telling her right now could confuse her more, make her feel like I just want something from her. That couldn't be farther from the truth. The only thing I want is for her to be happy. The fact that she has been used like this and thrown to the side, expected to all of a sudden tolerate the people that did that to her. 

I saw the opportunity to draw attention away and I took it as I said “Seungmin, you have everything?” “Yeah, we should be ready to go soon,” he said as he kept packing all of the random hoodies that were used as pillows when we stood overnight with her. It's been years since most of us slept in the same room as the others. Every few hours a nurse would come in to check on Y/N, sometimes startling her. Everytime that happened Seungmin and I would wake up. We aren't light sleepers in particular, but it was more reflexive than anything. The nurse would quietly remind her that she's safe and all of her boys are with her. No one is going to hurt or sneak up on her. It'd still take a little time for her to go back to bed. Seungmin and I would refuse to even close our eyes until her heart rate went back to resting and her body would be completely relaxed and limp. 

Now that things are starting to simmer down I am wondering why Seungmin had this reaction. He's been very strong through it all and he is even going against his nature of just observing. I am wondering what it is that I don't know. I just want to be filled in. Seungmin isn't known for physical affection, instead opting for annoying people he loves until they inevitably get closer to the edge of insanity. It's an odd way to show love, but Seungmin has never been known for traditional methods. 

So why is it that he’s calling her pet names and smiling at her that way? Did he always smile at her like that? It’s so comforting, almost endearing. More than anything she is sharing the look. Something definitely happened but I have no clue what. 

“Angel, you have all the appointments and all of that?” I looked back to her and she smiled at me saying, “Yup, I just want out of here. It’s been crazy. I just want to cuddle with my boys and watch a movie.” I could feel the sincerity in her words. 

It wasn’t too long after that when Han came with the wheelchair saying, “You’re chariot awaits.” I am still really worried about her. She still says the cramps are no joke. Her cravings are still everywhere too. When she asked the attending about it they explained that her body is still going to have those pregnancy cravings for at least a few more weeks. I could see the hint of sadness in her features when hearing that. The only thing I could imagine herself feeling is that it’s another reminder. A reminder of what could’ve been. 

On our way to the house I could feel her excitement ramp up. I could hear her giggles as she listened to the radio. She waited and bounced at the redlights. I looked behind me and I saw everyone else in the car smiling lopsidedly as she giggled. Y/N wasn’t known for very big displays of excitement unless it was for something that she really really wanted or missed having. 

I could see the color in her face, knowing that if Hannie and I didn’t do what we needed to do, this would not have been the case. Instead, I get to see her smile, feel her laugh a little more, and be thankful for every moment, I always was but now? It’s like I have a deeper love for her. She was already a part of me, but now she is like a vital organ, as odd as it sounds. 

As I was in my own thoughts I heard a song play, it was one that I knew she loved. Immediately I felt her hand grab mine, which was on the shared arm rest. Usually if she wanted the armrest she would just nudge me until I relented and shared, but this was different. She laid her arm on top of mine, her hand interlocking with mine as she sang along to the song. I couldn’t help but think it belonged there. Touches are a part of her expression of comfortability. It’s how she communicates, which I happen to know all too well. This had more weight to it somehow. She felt like she knew that no matter what she’d be safe. Which was and still is true.

When we pulled around the corner we were met with balloons in her favorite color on the doorstep. Her eyes lit up as she said, “What’s this?” I just shrugged as I said, “I don’t know, Lix told me that he was up to something but I didn’t really know what.” As soon as we parked Y/N bounced as she waited for one of us to come around and help her. 

I think that she was surprised at the fact that we had done anything, period. I know that she has a complex. She tends to feel like she isn’t worth the time. That was something that she told me in confidence one night. Every night she would cry herself to sleep for the better part of 2 and a half years. Hannie and I did not catch it until we started spending weekends with her. 

One night I heard whimpering from their room, when I knocked I heard sniffles. I gently pushed the door open, I found her curled in a ball, crying looking at her phone. When I asked her what was wrong she just handed me the phone. On it was a text thread. 

Y/N: hey are you coming home? It’s Friday and I wanted to watch a movie with you. Channie❤️: Not this again, Y/N. I’m working, I don’t have time for this. Y/N: You promised you’d take some days off every week, so you don’t burn out. You even said that those days are our days.  Channie❤️: Y/N the more you talk to me the longer I have to be in the studio. So you are causing me to be away longer because you can’t be patient.  Y/N: I haven’t seen you in weeks, Channie. You are always gone, I miss you and I feel alone… like you don’t care.  Channie❤️: bingo! You are right. I don’t care. My phone is getting turned off. Maybe then you’ll get the message that I don’t have time for you. Get some sleep, trust me, don’t wait up. 

I held her all night that night, I dried her tears as she clung onto me for dear life. Like I said before, her love language is touch, so to literally be starved of that for weeks from her husband made me feel enraged. More than anything, I wanted to make her comfortable. 

I wrapped her in a fluffy blanket of which I called ‘the Y/N burrito’. Then I picked her up while she giggled and placed her on the couch. We watched whatever she wanted. Early into the morning she started craving her favorite snack so we went out in pajamas, got the snacks, and had a movie marathon. It’s one of my favorite memories with her. She started off that night crying and ended it safe in my arms, snacks surrounding her as credits rolled on the T.V. 

I brushed her hair back as I stared at her sleeping so peacefully on the couch. The credits created a dim and timid light as I wiped the chocolate from the corners of her mouth. It was about 6am when Chris walked in. He looked annoyed and just walked past us as if we were ghosts. 

I recounted this as I saw the balloons, thinking that whatever is inside, she is going to love it. 

Han was first to grab her. When Seungmin unlocked the door with the overnight bags slung over his shoulder we could hear a little gasp and some talking. Han held her hand as we walked. 

“This is so sweet you guys didn’t have to,” she stopped at the balloons, looking at them as if they were the most precious diamonds she has ever seen. Then when we walked in she started sniffling. 

Sitting on the couches were 6 pillow sized plushies, and one giant plushie. Y/N loves plushies, their textures calm her. What got her to cry though, was what each of them represented. The one giant plushie was an angel. The other 6 were a lioness, a crown, a bird, a sunflower , Anya, and the National flower of Korea, the mugunghwa, the symbol of eternal beauty, that one has to be Minho’s. 

I have no clue where he even found some of these. Especially the lioness, that one represented I.N.’s nickname for her. Whenever anyone tried to mess with us he always said, “if you think the wolf is bad wait until the lioness hears about this.”

She started crying, “they…. They’re all my nicknames. The ones you gave me.” She immediately went to the angel and grabbed it, hugging it tightly as she cried. 

My heart broke and swelled at the same time. She should never have to feel like anyone is going to abandon her. It makes me so sad to know that she was so scared of losing us. All because of one foolish and egotistical man. He deserves nothing, especially not her love. Yet she loved him anyway. That is the type of person that she is. 

Felix came up to her and said, “I figured if one of us had to go out and you missed us, now you’ll have a piece of us with you. You won’t be alone, and we’ll always come back to you. So when we leave, you can hold on to them really tight and know that soon we’ll be there.” I could see the tears about to leave his eyes.

If anyone was able to do something this sweet for Y/N, it would be Felix. The way that he cares for her, comforts her, it’s like they share one mind. He knows that she loves plushies. Ones that are so soft she can just sink into them. Chris never really liked too many things in his room. So he always discouraged her from decorating with plushies. He also felt that, although they were cute, they had no place in an adult’s bedroom. Especially not a leader’s bedroom. Most of her plushies found residence in my room. 

I had no problem holding onto them for her and sometimes she would even decorate my room with them. Every movie night, before Hannie and I came home, she would grab the plushies and throw them on Han’s bed. She’d decorate with them, with Hannie’s favorite holding a bag of Hannie’s snacks. She’d also have her favorite, she named it Ollie, and Gyu on the bed, with popcorn in the middle. 

That always made me smile. That wherever Ollie went, so did Gyu. Whenever I would sleep in the same bed with her, I would grab Ollie and Gyu. One night she asked if she could hold Gyu for a bit. Usually I don’t let anyone touch him, but she isn’t anyone. Without hesitation I handed her Gyu and she handed me Ollie. I remember hearing her sigh with comfort as she talked to Gyu about me. How lucky Gyu must be to fall asleep next to me every night. She thanked him for comforting me and for allowing me to sleep soundly. Even on every tour, she would pack Ollie and Gyu for me to sleep with. The first time she did it, she wrote a note with it. ‘I’m going to miss you, but so is Ollie. I may not be able to go with you but Ollie can! Sleep well, have a great tour, I’ll see you soon Binnie!-Angel.’

She looked up at Felix, released the angel, and hugged him as she whimpered a bunch of tiny little “thank you’s” into his chest. I think she realized that all of us know that she is scared. We may not say it but we do. We know and we all love her so much. We are here for her. Even if we may not be there in person, there is no place we would rather be than being with her. 

Felix held her and pulled back after a few minutes. He wiped her tears and he said, “come on sit, take a load off. The brownie batter is almost done… unless you want to help?” He smirked at her. 

She practically dragged Felix to the kitchen and Minho yelled, “Yah, I’m not done in here!” She giggled and asked what he was doing. I came into the kitchen to see Minho tying tenderloin together. She was watching curiously as he worked. He said, “it is your first day home and we should celebrate that. I’m making beef wellington, and don’t worry I left out the mushrooms, replaced it with onions and carrots for you.”

“Really? Thank you Minho! This is going to be the best dinner, thank you!!” She bounced and kissed him on the cheek. His ears turned red as he said, “okokok go over there with Lix’ you guys can have the oven first since this needs to chill,” he kissed her forehead right before she bolted to help Lix. I couldn’t help but giggle at her as she breathed life into the room. 

I could see that she was really touched that he said, ‘your first day home’. Those words meant that now she is home. This is her space as well as theirs, that will never change. I could see her trying to hold back tears as she baked. Once things were baking Lix’ plugged in the switch and we had a blast playing games while we waited for dinner to come around. After everything was baked and made, we all sat down for a nice dinner, like we used to in the shared dorms.

Right before we all sat down Y/N smiled and said, “thank you. To all of you. This experience was hard. It was the hardest thing that I have ever been through to date. It’s because of all of you that I made it. All of you mean so much to me. The thing that really scared me after all of this was what would happen if I lost you guys? My boys. I cherish every single memory with each of you. I love you boys so damn much, you are all my family. Seeing what you did,” she looked at me and Hannie, “Being so strong. Crying with me, holding me through it all.” I grabbed her hand and kissed it. Resisting the urge to nudge into it like I always do.

She looked at everyone else, “The fear that each of you must have felt. I know I wasn’t the only one mourning and coming to terms with things.” I saw her look directly at Seungmin for a split second and went back to scanning the table, “I want to thank all of you so much. This experience was horrific. Because of all of you, I made it out. I love you boys so much. Thank you for welcoming me home.” With that, she sat down and leaned into me, I could tell she was either too nervous or embarrassed.

As we were eating and laughing she looked around the table. I sat down right to her left and Hannie was on her other side. I could tell she was doing her best not to cry. I think it was the same for the boys. Two days ago that wasn’t the case. She was fighting for her life around this time. To think that we would all be here, together, a family. It made me want to cry. This is the family that she deserves. Everyone she loves, at home, on time, together. She was so happy and before dessert came out Hyunjin said, “Yongbok-ah phase 2.” Then Felix went running to his room. He came out with a giant comforter and plopped on the living room floor. He then ran to Minho’s room, grabbed his comforter and plopped it down as well. At that point I.N. said, “Movie time! Everyone on the floor!”

Immediately everyone moved to the living room and got a spot except for me. I was helping wash dishes with Minho. When I walked in I could see Minho tearing up as we heard her giggle. I patted his back as I said, “what can I do to help, hyung?” He just shook his head a bit and asked me to help him with the drying. By the time we were almost done with that I heard Y/N calling my name and asking me to sit. I told her that I had to change into my pajamas first and I could hear her ask Lix if she could change in his room quickly. He of course obliged. 

Slowly but surely everyone started changing and pretty soon everyone was sitting on the comfy comforters. I didn’t really know where to sit and Y/N looked at me saying, “I know you aren’t thinking about sitting away from me.” I didn’t want to make it seem like she needed to be next to me all of the time, thinking that I would come off as clingy but it’s nice to know that she craves my touch as well. 

I sat down right next to her and everyone’s faces had giant smiles. I looked at her and she smirked as she held onto my bicep curling into me. This is one of my favorite places to be. Just next to her as she clings onto me like a Koala. 

She was giggling as Felix handed out the brownie sundaes and everyone got comfy. Y/N decided on a comedy for the first movie and out of nowhere she asked me, “You guys were never going to leave me, were you?” 

I just smiled at her and said, “Not in a million years. We love you, we always will. Nothing and no one will get in the way of that.” She gave me an indication that she wanted to be closer so I lifted my arm up, that way she could scooch closer to me. I could feel the tears through my sleep shirt as I held her. 

“Thank you for not leaving me.” She said as quietly as she could. The truth is, she is someone that I need, someone that we all need. She is a unique type of person. After about two movies most had abandoned the comforter pile. By the early morning it was just me and Y/N. We were laying down on her new plushies. She took her place on my chest. Much like that night from years ago, I wiped the chocolate from her face and watched her form as she slept, credits rolling on the T.V. I smiled as she slept. I kissed her forehead and she intertwined her leg with mine. A few minutes later we fell asleep, with the promise of better days ahead.

[makingspiritualityreal]

12th House - Saturnian Slowness

Planets in the 12th house will naturally have Saturnian characteristics, as Saturn is the Karaka for the 12th House. As a result, if we have natal planets in the 12th house, these areas of our lives will develop extremely slowly. In these areas, we will feel like we are behind the average of our age group, even if the average doesn't mean anything spectacular. Sometimes it's circumstantial, sometimes, it's our understanding of it, mostly it's a mix of both. Naturally, the planet and the sign involved will determine what takes the most time to grow.

Sun in the 12th House - Will be slow to understand their impact in the world. Will be slow to understand what they are building through their actions. Will be slow to build up integrity and accountability for what their behavior caused and will have many regrets as a result. Will be slow to get their affairs in order. Will be slow to appreciate themselves. Will be slow to understand they have a place in this world, no matter how small.

Moon in the 12th House - Will be slow to simply understand oneself. Will be slow to know how they truly feel in the moment. Will be slow in ability to have spontaneous reactions. Will be slow to develop an ego. Will be slow to connect to a life on this Earth. Will take Earthly experiences for granted, and derive wisdom from them slowly.

Mars in the 12th House - Slow to defend their interest and protect their territory. May let a lot of people step over them in early life. Slow to learn how to say no. Slow to learn their dislikes, even slower to express them. Slow to communicate their opinion, because they don't realise what they stand for. Will miss out on a lot of opportunities to make a stand as a result, because they don't understand their own beliefs, and they're slow in forming opinions.

Mercury in the 12th House - Slow to make friends and connections. Slow to develop their intellect, even slower to appreciate it. Slow learning process, may be behind with their knowledge of basic facts. Slow but persistent skill learning. Slow to learn a variety of objective perspectives, as intellectual narrowness was prominent in household. Slow to learn how to discuss using objectivity. Slow to learn how to enter into profitable exchanges, or even if they are in one, they don't understand what they are gaining and giving. Often only appreciate exchanges once they leave their life.

Venus in the 12th House - A good position, as it takes time in life to develop comfort and build solid relationships. Will be slow to have a good social circle, but it will be a quality one. Will have delayed romantic experiences. Will delay their own pleasure and gratification for the best moment, which is why this is a strong placement. Will delay sexual encounters, and avoid unnecessary ones as a result.

Jupiter in the 12th House - Slow to understand a general perspective of the world due to lack of opportunity, that makes their early experience narrow. Was forced to grow in a small minded environment and not given chances to travel and broaden the mind. They become very wise as they grow up, however, being self taught and having a very broad and diverse perspective. Ultimately, the world opens up to them gradually, at its own pace. Slow to believe in the hand of the divine in their life, because it takes so long for everything to finally pay off and make sense for them. Feelings of genuine inspiration and faith are slow to appear and be proven, but solid once discovered.

Saturn in the 12th House - Its natural position, because it embodies a gradual, patient approach to growing up itself. Simply put, the native understands growing up takes time. That makes for a very smooth transition from childhood into adulthood (if no afflictions) and the person is able to grow up and make their mark on the world very naturally without feeling like they need to rush it. They also have amazing precision with their goals and the tenacity to build them up over time.

Rahu in the 12th House - Will be very slow to break out of their comfort zone. If there is a planet attached, it will be greatly delayed, as the North Node brings anxiety of the unknown. Will have a great delay in being able to follow their desires. Will be timid in having an approach that is unfamiliar to them, but most conducive to their growth. An extremely stubborn an impatient person, a walking contradiction that wants to grow but doesn't. They need to be pushed very far to surrender to change, but they are slow to do that too.

Ketu in the 12th House - Another comfortable positions, as they are able to completely surrender to the flow of time. Slowness of life doesn't phase them at all, as they allow it to proceed at its own time, while they pursue the opposite in Rahu instead. The definition of "let go and let God", subconsciously, as they believe things will take care of themselves while they pursue more practical goals. The flaw here is being extremely slow in developing a deeper philosophy of spirituality and analysis. They miss out on more significant conclusions regarding what happened in their life until a very late age, and may accidentally miss out on something deeply important to them as a result, while they were chasing something completely else.

[phoenixblaze1412]

Ok this might sound dumb but listen

What if dottore was the one who got isekaied into our world? Like, he was working on something and boom he's in our world

How would he react to our modern technology and lifestyle and literally everything ( maybe the reader could give him a small tour/help? )

Dottore didn't expect his experiment to explode. He was sure no one tampered with his projects and did every procedure successfully.

So why is he currently face to face with you, an insomniac college student who was holding a belt and clothing hanger as if you were about to hit him?

Communication is key, after all. And that is what Dottore did, communicated with you.

He was surprised that you know all about him, from his past and his current connection with the fatui.

Dottore is a man who prefers knowing the truth by seeing it with his own eyes. Since you were blabbering on about how he is a fictional character from a currently famous on-going video game called Genshin Impact, Dottore thought you were a lunatic.

Oh how you savored his shocked expression when you showed him said game and even moved around the map as the traveler.

That got him curious. How is he in your world? Would he even get back to his?

Dottore decided to worry about those questions later, right now he is currently fascinated by technologies in your house.

"What is that tiny box in your hand? How are you accessing it without pressing any buttons? Give it to me."

You had to buy two new phones since Dottore broke your current one. He took it in the middle of the night and disassembled it just to see what's inside.

You had taught the doctor on how to use a phone. Giving him your number so that if he needed to contact you when you're not around, he could either message or call you. Luckily you didn't have to teach him more about the camera.

Ever since Dottore became your housemate, he became your personal caretaker as well. Whenever you would be staying up all night with your college studies, the doctor had to drag you off to bed and sleep. He would tie you on your bed if you gave him attitude. If you obeyed, he would cuddle you until morning.

The two of you made an agreement that while Dottore is currently living within your house, he should also get a job. He does need the money to buy the materials he needed to create a portal back to his world, after all. And those materials are definitely not cheap.

Finding a job that matches with Dottore's skills are easy, keeping the job is a hard one.

Dottore isn't allowed to be a veterinarian, he just mutated a person's sick cat into a horrifying creature that it had to be killed. Your silly doctor was giddily telling you how the experiment worked successfully, the cat's owner wasn't too happy with him.

He is not allowed to be a therapist. The doctor would just tell the patient, "it's your problem, not mine."

As a doctor in Teyvat, Dottore currently cannot be a doctor in Earth. With his ideals and immoral ethics, he would either kill the patient or transform it into a test subject. He doesn't even have any sympathy for the patient's relative who were in distress due to their loved one dying, Dottore would simply ignore them.

You were very stressed and burnt out with finding a suitable job for your silly doctor without having to worry other people about his... personality.

You could only stare in shock. Dottore got a job and it hasn't fired him within a day yet? Did god just helped you- wait no, Dottore would flick you in the forehead if you ever talk about any gods or archons.

Dottore as a mortician, the one who hired him didn't even care about his crazy personality. All the boss asked was if Dottore can handle night shifts and doesn't have a weak stomach, the doctor immediately got the job.

You were happy that Dottore was able to get a job that pays his services well. But you couldn't stand it when he would scare the hell out of you.

One time, you went to the morgue to visit him and see how he is doing, only to see the entire building quiet with the lights flickering. Walking off to where you know Dottore would be, you headed in the room where all the dead bodies where situated. You could feel your stomach drop as you stared at the bodies that were pulled out of their cells.

You have watched too many horror movies with Dottore that if you see one of the corpses suddenly moving, you're bolting out and leaving the doctor behind.

You suddenly felt something heavy being laid onto your back as you turned your head to come face to face with a dead man's corpse.

"Boo!"

Your screams can be heard throughout the establishment, following it was Dottore's loud cackles.

Dottore doesn't like going out of the house much. He would only do so if needed, for example, if he needed to buy some more materials and equipments for his experiments.

Even if he does go out to buy things, you are required to go along with him. He needed the extra pair of hands to carry the items he can't. Not only that, but you're the only one he can trust. You're the one who can give him some opinions about the things he would plan to buy. Even if you two would argue about some childish things, he secretly likes it. Especially if he could see your pouting face.

All in all, having Dottore in our world would be a different experience. Just make sure he doesn't bring home any corpses from the morgue for him to use as test subjects.

[thoughtportal]

At least one in five people who have had COVID-19 will develop what is known as “long COVID,” characterized by signs, symptoms, and conditions that continue or well after a COVID-19 infection. According to officials, Detroit has the second highest rate of long COVID in the nation, with over 25% of adults who had COVID-19 reporting long-term symptoms.

In response, a new no-cost mobile health unit is working to provide metro Detroiters with screening for the condition, intending to gather research on long COVID’s effects and bridge the gap to healthcare access in marginalized communities.

On Friday, March 15, declared Long COVID Awareness Day, Michigan Speaker of the House Joe Tate, Michigan Rep. Tyrone Carter, health experts, and community members gathered for an event highlighting the first-of-its-kind CT chest screening program.

The unit was created about a year ago through a partnership between Moderna, Team Wellness Center, People.Health, and other local community organizations.

“Some of our locations service some of the most vulnerable communities in the whole state,” Dani Hourani, Director of Team Wellness Center, said. “It’s very important for us that we are able to bring them resources that they otherwise would not have.”

So far, the screenings have not only helped the impact of long COVID but also been able to detect non-COVID-related illnesses including cancer. Plus, the team has connected patients with further care and testing when needed.

“Whether you’re in Detroit or rural areas, bringing healthcare access directly to the community and partnering with organizations that have that trust with community members is critical,” Tate said at the Friday event. “We still have more work to do to make sure that we lessen the impact of COVID on this community.”

Anyone over 18 who has had COVID-19 and is still experiencing difficulty breathing or other symptoms is encouraged to get scanned. People can fill out a form at People.Health to schedule an appointment.

[nosesitter]

So helpful ! Joel miller

1.4k words

Warning: Dark and perv! joel miller, AFAB!reader, male and female masturbation, dub con, drug use, male voyeuristic, light stalking, breaking and entering lmao, Joel is 55, reader is 24, somewhat established relationship (she be in his apartment), my punctuation (sorry I’m a American and texan)

Gif not mine!

A/N: first public drabble to post in quite a while. Getting thoughts onto here are harder than it sounds be patient I do a lot of drugs but have lots of ideas. So yeah enjoy!

Helpful neighbor!Joel miller installed your rings cameras for you. How sweet! When he tested them he connected his phone up to it. Now he has access to your house inside and out but you don’t know that.

Since moving into your apartment things have been great! The area is perfect you’re not too close to town but if you need anything it’s not a long drive. The neighbors are also great! There’s Martha who lives across your apartment, there’s Josh and Cathy who live to the right of you, and then to the left is Joel Miller, 55 years old and utterly attractive. Joel wasn’t a man of many words but he was very helpful, especially whenever you needed help.

It started off small at first a few stolen Amazon packages, your plants outside your door knocked over, but what finally pushed you into getting the cameras was when you came home one night and your apartment was broken into. Nothing was stolen thank god and your cat didn’t run too far, Joel was able to catch her and keep her at his place.

Too scared to sleep at your place for the night Joel offered his apartment for you until you felt safe. That night you ordered the cameras.

“How come none of these cameras are easy install? I have to have some sort of power tool.” You say to Joel as you sit as his breakfast bar scrolling Amazon. He’s currently in the kitchen making something to eat for you, his way of apologizing cause he wasn’t there to stop the break in.

“I could install them for you, I do have the power tools for it.” He says turning around pan in hand as he scoops out the pasta he made onto your plate.

“I’m gonna be busy this week, it’s okay I’ll just wait till I-“

“I can install them it won’t be a problem, I can come early in the morning.” Joel goes running in the morning and when you’re leaving for work he’s coming back from his run.

“Thank you Joel, for everything.” Reaching over you grab his hand and for a moment no one says anything and it’s quiet besides your cats collar making noise. Him making dinner and you just sitting there. It’s domestic, something Joel didn’t think he’d have after Sarah left for college 2 years ago.

He can’t help but kinda feel bad for breaking into your apartment. He just wanted to have something from you. His thick fingers trailing over your pillow, leaning over his nose fills with your scent, the scent of your vanilla shampoo lingers. Joels slowly walking around seeing fragments of your life scattered around the small apartment, clothes pouring out the closet, your bong on the living room table that’s half smoked, your cat curled up on your side of the bed. Before he leaves he passes your laundry room, right on top of the laundry basket there’s a black lace thong. Joel pockets it.

🫶🏻

By the time you get out the shower Joel is knocking at the door. You stand there and think get dressed or open it. Latching your towel around you tightly you rush to the front door. “I’m sorry Joel but I’m running late.” Joel stands their tool bag in hand as you rush back into the bathroom. Droplets of water trailing on the floor behind you.

“The box is on the counter! Just put a camera in each room please!” Joel stands there for a moment as his gaze fixes to the cracked bathroom door, steam coming from the room, your cat poking it’s head in to see you, and your shadow moving against the door showing you beginning to dress.

Twenty minutes later you emerge from the bathroom hair dry, makeup done, and clothed. You come out to see Joel standing on a step ladder in the corner of your living room. He’s drilling the camera into the wall, flannel tied around his waist as his back and arm muscles contract under his gray shirt. He stops and then turns to see you and he smiles.

“Good morning sunshine, are you about to leave?” You nod your head at him as you gather your bags together. “I’ll try to finish up quick-“

“It’s all good, here you can leave whenever.” You hold out your hand and in it is a little silver key. It’s quite a big step in Joel’s eyes but to you he’s someone you can trust. He takes the key, smiles and as he slips it in his pocket his fingers rub against your thong that’s also in there.

“I’ll see you later Joel, thanks again.” And with that you’re out the door.

An hour later and Joel’s done. He sits on your couch and pulls your bong you tried to “hide” behind the couch and hits it as the ring app loads up. As he’s connecting his phone to the cameras, and looking at the angles he can see you at he notices the little blue light in the corner. Reaching into his tool bag he digs around grabbing a sharpie and starts coloring over the blue dot.

🫶🏻

It’s late by the time you come back home but Joel is still awake waiting just for you. He gets up from his couch and heads to his bedroom where yours is adjacent just on the other side of the thin wall. He decides to use the cameras. Pulling out his phone his finger hesitates over the app he thinks about it for a second. Thinks about how you’ve been so nice to him, it’s under false pretense of course but it’s still genuine niceness.

The thought doesn’t last long cause Joel can hear your shower turn on so he presses on the camera app and opens the one in your room.

He can see you sitting on your bed rolling a joint in nothing but your panties. He swallows hard as you nod your head along to the music softly playing. He wishes he could be over there to greet you everyday to run your shower and cook dinner, to fuck you stupid till you’re not thinking anymore.

His cock starts to press against the lining of his pajama pants. He rubs his hand over the clothed erection as he watches you more. You finish rolling and begin your search for a lighter. Prancing around in your panties Joel’s mind goes dark. He thinks about how you’re just freely out here. He knows that you don’t know he’s watching you but he can’t help but think that this is a show you’re putting on for him. His own personal show. Just. For. Him

His fingers are yanking down his waistband and pulling them over his balls. He’s really hard now. Opening up his hand he spits into it and then lubes himself up. Starting out slow, his pointer finger and thumb squeezing the tip as he begins to jerk himself. You’re laying on your stomach, legs kicking behind you as you smoke your joint. Joel doesn’t mind the smell honestly he might buy weed from you later.

“Fucking tease.” He hisses out as he begins to make his grip tighter and pace faster. He’s not looking at the cameras anymore as he strokes himself only thinking of you and how you’d be such a sweet girl for him. Reaching down to cup his balls Joel is punched back to reality when he hears his name just slightly.

Ripping one of his hands away from himself he grabs his phone and sees you. Fucking slut, hands between your legs, joint between your lips chanting his name low. He came right then and there, massaging the cum all over his dick in his hand as he moans at the sight of you. A few minutes later of watching you, your hands slips away and you lay there catching your breath. Swinging your legs over the bed you hop up, smush the joint in the ash tray and then kick the bathroom door close.

Joel saw that he able to save that whole video. He did and he rewatched it 2 more times. Hearing your sweet voice whimper his name as you play with your clit. Unknowingly you just got Joel addicted. He needed you bad.

———————🪻🧺🫐

Reblog, comment, validate me 🫶🏻

0627

[napakmahal]

Anon because I feel like I’m about to say smth cringe lol but how about a fic with a (possibly Psych major) reader that’s got a holistic view of the world with Tadashi? Would be interesting to see what that information brings concerning Baymax’s plan of care and how a relationship would form with Tadashi like dat ya dig

Idk mostly inspired by Natalia Lafourcade’s song María La Curandera (it’s in Spanish, you’ll have to search up the translation if you’re curious!) also growing up in an immigrant household with care alternatives to things maybe a doctor would not take seriously/ not being able to connect with a patient due to beliefs and or language barriers.

Can I just you’re actually so real for this. This is NOT cringe pookie okay. First of all, love my psych classes but also second of all my family is so holistic. We’re from the Philippines and the hospital is reserved special for if you’re dying. (Btw that’s bad, go to the doctors please)

You don’t fight with your boyfriend…like ever. You don’t like fighting and he thinks fighting i childish. But that’s not to say you two agree on everything. Exhibit A:

“At least with my remedies I know I won’t be overdosing on cough syrup.”

“Baby, with all due respect I’m not using herbs to get rid of a respiratory infection.”

Another thing, you love Baymax. You really do. You were there to help build him, he knows you personally but he has nothing to do with your health. And that irritated Tadashi to no end. Flu season had come around and it seemed like everyone was getting sick. Including you. The basic fever, cough, headaches, and disgusting amounts of phlegm hacking out of your throat. Yet, you denied any help from your boyfriend’s healthcare robot.

It made him upset because you could get better so much faster if you let him use his extensive medical knowledge on you, and yet you still said no. But nothing about your ideologies had created such tension until recently. When he caught you doing something he deemed unfathomable.

Almost a week into you being sick, he’d seen you chopping onions late into the night after making his lemon tea.

“What are you doing?” Tadashi looked over at you after coughing up a chunk of bloody phlegm from his own throat.

You sniffed, clearly congested. “Cutting onions.”

“For what?”

“My socks.”

“I’m sorry?”

Surely he must have misheard you. You and him had been together for years and he knew all about your home remedies. There was a stained food processor in your house from when he had joint pain in his wrist and you had him eat turmeric paste. When Hiro had unknowingly given him stomach flu you went out and bought efficascent oil and rubbed it on his stomach. He’s seen you gargle salt water, chew on peppermint, put baking soda on bee stings, eat raw garlic, and drink cranberry juice for your menstrual problems but that one took the cake.

“Do you want some?” You’d asked it so innocently but your tone could have changed if you’d seen the look of utter disbelief on his face.

The both of you had been sick for a week in an endless cycle of eating strawberries, and oranges, taking magnesium, and eating spoonfuls of grainy raw honey. All of that to him seemed fine. Even he understood to a certain extent you couldn’t just take medicine all the time. But when he offered to buy cough syrup, ibuprofen for throat pain, Tylenol for cough headaches, and other flu medications you shut it down. He was free to take all of those things to make himself feel better and he swore it did.

But you were in so much pain and it seemed like whatever you were doing wasn’t helping. Just that morning, Tadashi rubbed your back while you had a 10-minute coughing fit that was so bad there were streaks of blood in your spit. You’d cried when a pounding headache hadn’t left and he felt so helpless knowing there was nothing he could do about it.

Tadashi stuttered. “W-Why are we cutting onions for our socks?”

“You put them in your socks and then you sleep with them on, my mom swears by it. But if you have like sensory problems that’s okay, you don’t have to.”

“Baby don’t you think- maybe you should just take something for it?”

You scoffed because you already knew where this was going. “You’re not funny.”

“I’m not trying to be funny. It’s just you’re so sick.” His voice dripped with concern.

Just as he’d said it you dug your face into your elbow and started coughing. The loud, raspy, crunchy kind of cough. Almost like the universe was on his side. Then came the cough headaches. The one thing you had allowed Baymax to scan you for and nothing else. A build-up of pressure from consistent coughing and sneezing in your head could cause pounding headaches.

The second he saw the grimace on your face, Tadashi jumped up from his study table and ran over to you. Pulling you in for a hug and gently pushing his fingers through your head. But that was also the time he decided he couldn’t take this anymore. His girl was in pain and crying over a sickness he could use his brain and his bot to figure out how to cure.

“I can’t take this anymore.” He confessed still holding you. “Please, will you let me give you a Tylenol?”

“T, no.”

“Why not? It’s so obvious you’re hurting. I know you don’t like taking medicine. I get that, but you just aren’t getting any better.”

You gently lifted your head off Tadashi’s chest and looked up at him. “So are you and you’ve been taking medicine.”

“But I feel like I’m getting better.”

“Hunny, you threw up an hour ago.” You deadpanned.

He racked his brain for a positive way to spin the horrible retching experience. “O-okay but that’s-um, that’s the body’s way of making itself feel better.”

You two were going in circles. But Tadashi was not backing down. He was adamant that you get better if it was the last thing he did and you knew it. Last year Hiro got sick with a particularly horrible kidney infection. So bad that when he’d tried to walk to the restroom he collapsed on the floor physically unable to move. After that none of your friends ever really saw Tadashi for almost two weeks. Right after school, he’d sprint home just to take care of him. That was his thing. Your boyfriend lived to take care of people.

Some people in the world don’t care about anything you’ve ever done and something you will do. Like doctors. Doctors don’t need to know how good or bad of a person your friends think you are in order to take care of you. Finding people like that is rare. Tadashi is one of those people.

And you, one of the people he loved and cared for most in the entire world wouldn’t let his extensive knowledge on healthcare help you feel better. And no matter how many times you reassured him, he couldn’t help but feel like you being sick was his fault.

“How about this,” He suggested, moving his hand from your head to your face. “I will do your onion-sock thing if you let me give you cough syrup. Just one spoonful and then we’ll drop it. Sound fair?”

A small smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you slowly nodded your head. Out of relief, you were going to let him do something about how you felt, Tadashi leaned down and kissed you right then and there. It was extremely counterproductive and he couldn’t have cared less.

That night, you let your boyfriend spoon artificial cherry-flavored Robitussin into your mouth. And he let you put loosely chopped pieces of white onion in his socks while he slept. For the record, neither of your immune systems ever really recovered in that one night. And yet-somehow, you woke up feeling the best you had in over a week.

[greenandsorrow]

"Boytoy"

WARNINGS; sexual references, ken x fem!reader, reader uses she/her pronouns, ken finding out about periods, fluff & happy ending, plot doesn't connect with the movie, probably grammar mistakes

Bonus Part

After their rather intense night they just got comfy under the covers, this time with Ken being the big spoon. Y/n was laying her head on his chest, just where his plastic heart is, his heartbeat lulling her into a deep sleep. Our lucky Ken had his arms wrapped around y/n's frame, while nuzzling the top of her head, inhaling the flowery scent of her shampoo, feeling his eyelids getting heavier.

~~

Since that day they've been inseparable. Ken figured out how to control his waking up in the real world or in Barbieland. He was also informed that there's a portal to y/n's world at his favourite beach. Y/n's house has become his own and she was happy and patient to get him used to human activities such as going out for a snack, walking her home after her classes and so on.

Life is good, it's sublime. Y/n is looking forward to Ken's surprise for her birthday...she was able to figure out what it was but she'd never reveal that to her giddy man. Ken is planning to take her to Barbieland for a day and that means she can meet her childhood friends, the Barbies.

Currently, Ken is waiting for y/n at her apartment because she had exams to take. He is so proud of her for the silliest of accomplishments so y/n can hardly imagine the excitement he feels for her determination and wit at studying. Unfortunately, she wasn't in the mood for celebrating, or making out, or having a tickling session, or watching horse documentaries. Ken was devastated.

Y/n went straight to her bedroom to change into the fluffiest pyjamas possible before curling up next to Ken and letting out a deep sigh.

"Why did it have to happen today out of all days?!"

Ken is puzzled by her statement. His expression is rather adorable as he tries to understand what is going on in her head. He finally speaks in a sheepish but also curious manner.

"What did happen today that shouldn't have y/n?"

She huffs and buries her face in his arm. She is already tired from all the studying, frustrated with her headaches and exasperated from the too familiar cramps.

"It's nothing Ken...", she murmurs.

Under any other circumstances she would've been delighted to share this part of her human experience with Ken...however the thought of having to break down what periods are to her blonde partner has y/n riled up now.

Ken is of course too dramatic at his reaction to her dismissive answer. He takes an expression of pure heartbreak.

"Are you bored of me?! Oh no y/n!"

Y/n can't help but chuckle a bit and her mood lightens up. He can't be so pure, it's infuriatingly cute.

"It's my period Ken, it's not your fault I act like so grim..."

Ken's confusion is comically obvious and she decides to explain what needs to be explained.

~~

By the end of her primary school teaching moment, Ken is looking at her with a new kind of awe. If women weren't fabulous enough before in his blue eyes, they definitely are now.

And so another monthly ritual is added to Ken's list of being y/n's hype man. He makes a huge, too bright and silly looking calendar and writes down his human's days of the month. She always has a bag of chocolates and plush toys waiting for her, maybe a flower or a cowboy accessory. Y/n has a whole collection at this point. The best part, though, is what comes after the marked days on the calendar end....

Let's just say Ken's libido is that of a teenager's and how could she complain when she's ovulating?

notes~~

Well, that's it... the little happy ending I had promised. Boytoy was the first thing I ever posted on here and the first thing I wrote in general for the public eye🥺 Looking back, I know I could have done it better, but I don't want to be ungrateful because Boytoy made my blog gain an audience. I want to expand my writing on other fandoms so stay tuned! Thanks for all the support <33

Dividers by; @cafekitsune

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[theastrologylady]

Synastry oberservations:

Moon in the 7th house overlay is always such a pleasant placement. While 7th house can represent enemies, I have seen this particular overlay play out as people with an instant mental connection. A deep understanding of the other and a keen intuition (especially the house person towards the moon person) about the other's feelings. Great for both platonic and romantic relationships. Like that episode in FRIENDS where Chandler says "you and me man"(see gif below 👇)

Mars square Pluto - this is a tough aspect no matter how great the rest of the synastry. These are two of the strongest planetary energies in any chart - both in a way encompassing your drive. If you are in a relationship with this aspect (platonic or romantic), you have to get comfortable with agreeing to disagree. It's really easy with this to get caught up in "winning," which will ruin even the best of relationships. Mars will feel rage towards this person like they have never felt before and start to lash out with equal fervor. Pluto will be more patient at first, but once angry, it's deep rooted. Pluto will always seek retribution (very cut-throat). Both must quell those instincts in order for the relationship to survive.

5th house overlays in romatic relationships bring a lot of pride into a dynamic. Mind games are so easy to slip into here that you don't even notice. I think this is because the 5th house is such an intimate house. (Think about it - your guilty pleasures; the things that bring you the most joy; giddy feelings that flutter without control, as if it were all the first time you felt it. These are all very vulnerable things to be sharing.) They will both feel "silly" and "exposed" because they can't control their absolute delight when talking to the other person. The "I won't text back this time to seem cool" dynamic. They need to learn to let their guard down with each other, because often why this overlay isn't considered "long lasting" is that the people in it don't realize the immensity of love the other one actually feels because of the inability to lay your cards down.

Moon conjunct Venus - Moon cares sooooo much about how Venus is feeling, doing, and is always the best supporter of Venus. Venus evokes sincere empathy from Moon. Venus, in turn, deeply admires Moon. They instantly like Moon and see them as this etheral, magical being. Moon is usually unaware of how Venus sees/feels about them. Moon's nurture is easily felt, while Venus's respect is something so deep that it only shows with time. It's a simply delightful story. Whether friends or lovers.

(Unpopular opinion) Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus or Mars in 8th house overlay is AMAZING for friendships, not so great as lovers. As friends, they will know you more intimately than any other friend because you will both be able to speak openly and share deep thoughts. It's also a 100% ride or die placement. As lovers this is super intense, obessive, and usually codependent. Both people have to be like fullyyyy confident in themselves (who they are; what they want; THEIR BOUNDARIES; and to be extremely comfortable with solitude so that the relationship doesn't become a drug.)

Mercury conjunct, trine, sextile or opposite Sun/Moon/Venus - just the best conversations ever. The rapport is so smooth and easy that you only notice how easy it was until you go back to other interactions and realize what you took for granted. Awesome placement for people looking for something deep (whether platonic or romantic). Both feel very much understood and "on the same wavelength."

Ascendent trine, sextile, or oppose Sun - quick to be good friends. There is instant chemistry here, too, so it could turn into those friends to lovers.

[cheelze-bub]

Natasha x Reader- coming home late

Been avidly thinking and daydreaming about Natasha with my Oc that I’ve inserted into HSR. Thought about what she would do to help Nat relax after a long day. So I thought I write it as a x reader for you guys. Hope y’all enjoy!

Word count- somehow a little over 1000, 1006

Natasha told you that she was gonna come home late that night not that it was a strange thing to happen.

You know that people need her and how she won’t come home without looking over every patient she has at least once. So for tonight you decide to stay up until she got home.

You made dinner a little late so that it can be hot an fresh and you decide to pick out some bath oil that smells like her favorite flowers, first snow. It was honestly tough to find so you’re glad that you were able to find someone that made and sold it.

When you heard the door open you immediately went to it to greet her and give her a hug.

“Nat you’re home!” A smile on your face as you brought her close. She returned the hug and let out a sigh as she gave you a tight squeeze.

“What are you doing up Honey?” She leaned back and moved her hands up to your face, rubbing her thumbs against your cheeks.

“I’d thought I would make you some dinner and help you relax for the night. I knew you would be tired by the time you got home” you brought your hands up to hers and gave them a squeeze.

Leaning in close, you gave her a kiss feeling a smile against your lips. “Go eat some dinner and I’ll have a bath made for you when you’re done” you moved her in front of you and lightly pushed her to kitchen.

A small laugh came from her as she went to the kitchen to get some food.

While she did that you went to bathroom connected to y’all’s room and made sure that you had everything you needed. Once done you started to fill up the tub, checking up on Natasha while you waited

You asked her about her day and listened as she told you what ailments and injuries she had to take care of. Also told you about what the kids were up to and how they were sad about you not coming to visit today.

A chuckle came from you and you told her to tell them that you’d come by soon. Once you were done talking you went to check the tub and set it up with the oils.

“Hey the bath is ready whenever you’re done eating Nat” you said.

Once she was in the bath you brought in a little stool so you could sit down next to it “hey come over and lean back so I can wash your hair” “wash my hair?” “Mhm” you nodded your head and patted the space you were in front of.

You had put a little neck pillow so she wouldn’t get uncomfortable “I thought it would help you help relax you know” you grab some shampoo and conditioner.

Natasha moved to where you told her and leaned her head down “I really appreciate this (Name) but i can wash my hair on my own you know” she turned her head to look at you.

“I know I know but I wanted to do something for you. Cooking, cleaning up the house and making you a bath is just me showing how much I appreciate you.” You leaned down,close to her face and gave her a kiss on her forehead.

“So just let me take care of you tonight, especially since you’re always taking care of everyone.”

A smile came to her face as she turned the back of her head to you “alright then well thank you I’ll leave you to it.”

Once you heard that you grabbed the shampoo and got to washing her hair.

As you were washing her hair you were able to get a top down view. To which you were admiring a lot, noticing more beauty marks close to her neck and chest.

You were staring a while before Natasha looked up at you. “Enjoying the view?” She brought a hand up from the water and placed it on the back of your neck, bringing you closer.

Your face heated up at the closeness, breath on your lips. Head shaking slightly “y-yeah Nat I am…” you saw a smile come to her face before moving away and turning back to facing the other side

“Even though I appreciate this bath and it is very relaxing; I don’t wanna become a prune so please continue washing my hair.” You leaned back and pouted a little, continuing to wash her hair.

You were in the kitchen cleaning up the dishes, slowly moving your hand in a circle movement. Your thoughts were else, thinking about how Nat looked in the bath. She looked so good and you realized how beautiful she was. God you wished you had more confidence to make a move especially after her teasing.

Letting out a sigh, you put the plate on the dry rack before going back to washing another one. Mind still on the doctor making you not realize the hands that were placed on your hips. “How bout you put down the plate and come join me in bed Hmm?” She put her chin on your shoulder before leaning her head against yours.

You looked at her out of the corner of your eye “ I still have dishes to do Nat” you looked back at them, clearing your throat when you felt her arms wrap around you.

“I know but…” “ but?” You finished up another plate, putting it on the dry rack. You realized Nat hadn’t answered you yet so you turned to look at her. Hands came to your face and brought you into a kiss.

“I want you (Name)… so come to bed will you?” The look she was giving you was telling you just how much her words meant. You swallowed and licked your lips, nodding “y-you know I can never say no to you Natasha”

A raspy laugh came from her as she led you to y’all’s shared bedroom.

[yacinthemorning]

A Lesson in Listening

Summary: Grian's brother is moving to town and staying with him while he house hunts. While introducing him to his friend, however, Jimmy and Tango seem to make quite a connection. Determined not to suffer through the pining, Grian and Impulse attempt to play matchmaker.

Ships: Grian & Impulse(Platonic), Jimmy/Tango (Romantic), ZITS (Platonic), Grian & Jimmy (Familial)

Warnings: mild acephobia, verbal fight, sibling bullying, misunderstandings, relationship meddling

If Grian was good at one thing, it was connecting people. Not to be a braggart, but he was a sociable sort who was good at reading people, made new friends with ease, and led the pecking order in his circles. It was his great talent, really. One of many.

“Humility not being among them, clearly.”

“Shush.” Grian hissed, whipping his head around to glare daggers into Impulse. The stout man returned it with his trademark innocent smile, as if Grian didn’t know what went on in the head behind it. “You’re distracting me.”

Impulse chuckled. “What’s there to distract from?”

“I’ll have you know mixing friend groups is a very delicate process!” Grian explained, holding his phone to show the opened notepad doc. “Inviting the wrong person could be the difference between success and disaster.”

“I think you’re overthinking things, G. Anyone who’d get along with you will probably get along with your brother.”

Therein lied the problem, though. Jimmy was nothing like Grian. Okay, well, nothing was a bit of a strong word. Jimmy was extroverted and sociable like Grian, and they both had a fondness for mischief and cats. And maybe Jimmy was the first person Grian always invited to karaoke night when he was in town, because no one else was quite as enthusiastic as they were. But other than that they were nothing alike! For one, unlike Grian, Jimmy was a massive loser.

“That’s a bit rude.”

Grian squawked. “Would you please stop reading my mind!”

“You should stop speaking your mind, then.” Impulse shrugged and returned to scrolling through his phone. Grian had assigned him the task of picking out the venue for the night out, being far more familiar with the town than Grian. He paused, “You might as well monologue, I know you want to.”

“I don’t monologue! I’m not Scar.” Another name was struck out on the list. Doc was angry at him right now, anyways. “I just want things to go well, can I not be excited that Tim is moving closer? I’ve barely got to see him more than once every other month for the past several years! By the way, we can’t-“

“Can’t eat red meat so make sure there’s other options, yeah, I know.” A large hand patted down on Grian’s head, ruffling his hair.

He pouted, falling back into the cushions of his couch. “I feel like you do not appreciate the skill needed to coordinate you people. It’s like herding cats, you know.”

“Why do you think we leave it to you?” Impulse leaned over Grian’s shoulder. “Who you got so far, anyways?”

“You, Scar, Gem, and Cleo. Mostly people he’s met before at least.”

A curious hum filled the air and Grian patiently waited for whatever idea was brewing in Impulse’s head. There were a few taps to his screen, then, “You think Tango can come?”

“Tango?” Grian’s eyebrow quirked up. “Isn’t he hauled up in his basement working on some game right now?” While most certainly a good friend, Tango was one Grian went almost just as long without seeing as his brother half a day’s drive away, despite being a street away. Once he had an idea he would dedicate himself to it until it was done.

Impulse sighed. “Yeah. Zed was able to get him outside for an hour last week, and he went on some business trip for a bit, but he also hasn’t eaten in like two days last I checked. It’d be good excuse to drag him out. He’s gonna forget what real people sound like outside his headphones if we don’t.”

“I honestly don’t know how he expects to survive if he moves out from you guys.”

“I already made him promise to give me a set of spare keys when he does.”

Grian tilted his head as he stared at his last message to the man in question. Something about a crazy idea for a remote-controlled cat toy he thought of. In all honesty it wasn’t the worst idea. Not the cat toy- Tango was a strong personality who left a big impression, but he was always polite. Certainly much more introverted than everyone else going, but not nearly as bad as Zed. At least, when he remembered to leave his basement. It couldn’t do them any harm. At the very worst he could sit in the corner and chatter with Impulse. “Yeah, sure, let’s invite him.” He said, already typing. 

Impulse gave a thumbs up. “Tell him we’re gonna go to that barbeque place he loves, that’ll get him.”

“I said-”

“They have plenty of chicken and even vegetarian options, I double checked. It’s right across from the bowling alley, too. And call him, don’t text, or he’ll never see it.”

It was a small miracle Tango agreed to go. It was a small miracle he answered his phone at all. The mention of barbeque worked, though. How much of the rest of the evening they could convince him to stick around for had yet to be seen, but Grian was hopeful he’d stay a little while at least.

Impulse could deal with Tango, though. Right now, Grian had his hands full with Jimmy. They were running ten minutes behind because his poor little brother couldn’t bear going a day without a bubble bath. “C’mon, Tim, get in the car!” He shouted from the window.

Jimmy stumbled in, nearly dropping his phone between the seats in the process. “I’m hurrying, I’m hurrying, I just had to send a text. I thought this was supposed to be fun?” He whined. The second his door was closed Grian began driving, not waiting for him to get his seatbelt in. He was so tall and lanky he’d just smash his head through the glass whether he had one on or not, anyways.

“It’s called punctuality, Timmy. Something the hosts should have!”

“Alright, I get it.” He slumped back into his seat, caving as he always did. It must be hard, having an older brother who was always right. Of course, it was much harder being said brother, as Grian could attest.

The car ride was quiet, only the radio filling the space while Grian worked to remember where he needed to go. Jimmy was the first to break the silence, “So, I’ve scheduled some tours for this week.”

Grian hummed. “Anything promising?”

“Actually yeah.” He chirped, pulling out his phone. Before he could shove it in Grian’s face he put his hand up. It’d only been a month since he rear-ended a Toyota, and he’ll be damned if he hit someone else. The last thing his friends needed was to reignite the jokes about him being too short to see over the dashboard. Jimmy made a whine but didn’t try again. “There’s a place not far out of town in the farmlands. It’s small and old, but it’s an actual house with over half an acre.”

“I dunno why you care so much about land. A condo downtown is way better.”

“It’s nice, isn’t it? I could have a garden.”

“I guess.” The obnoxiously large sign for the barbeque glared high above the trees and buildings around it just up ahead. “Oh, we’re already here. Should be mostly people you met before, by the way.”

“That’s fine.”

Pulling into the parking lot, Grian could already see Impulse’s minivan and Cleo’s beat up old car. He clicked his tongue as he pulled up next to them. “See! I told you we were late, everyone’s already here.”

“Oh, come off it, they probably just got here, it’s fine.”

It was not fine, the host should always be first, but he wouldn’t expect Jimmy to understand. The two squabbled all the way inside, only stopping to tell the waiter their booking. A nice large table on the patio already had most of Grian’s friends sitting around, still having yet to be served even drinks. Everyone but Tango despite his phone, unmistakable with its Guy Fieri case, on the table. Bathroom, maybe? He was always terrible about going before he left. Scar was the first to spot them. “G! Timmy! You’re here!”

“That we are.” Grian mumbled and turned to Impulse. “Where’s-”

“Hey, Grian, just in time!” The scratchy voice of Tango shouted too-loudly behind them. He saw Jimmy jump, and both brothers swivelled on their heels. Tango jolted back a bit, friendly wave shrinking to his side at the reaction. His eyes grew wide, locking with Jimmy’s which mirrored him like two deer caught in headlights. “Oh!” He squeaked unintentionally.

It jogged Jimmy out of his fright enough to look away, though Grian took suspicious note of the redness of his ears. He gave his baby brother a raised eyebrow, but he didn’t seem to see it.

“Right, well, Tango, Cleo, this is my brother, Ti-”

“It’s Jimmy.” Jimmy jumped in at lightning speed, holding his hand out for Tango to shake with a wide smile. “The name’s Jimmy.” Tango hesitated for a second, before tentatively shaking back with an equally tentative smile.

“Tango, of the Tek variety. Nice to finally meet you.”

“I thought you said your brother was Tim?” Cleo asked.

Impulse scratched at his bread. “Honestly, I thought it was.”

“It’s not, my name’s Jimmy. Don’t trust anything this man says, he’s a menace.” Jimmy huffed, which got far too enthusiastic an agreement from nearly the whole table for Grian’s liking. Behind him, Tango snuck around back to the table. In a baffling move, as far as Grian was concerned, he paused at the empty chair across from his own and pulled it out. He nodded towards Jimmy, who muttered a sheepish thanks. Grian narrowed his eyes at the engineer, but he seemed to be pointedly not looking at him. A shared look from Impulse, though, let him know he wasn’t the only one who took notice.

“Well, then, Jimmy, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Cleo reached over the table, offering their hand.

Chatter very quickly picked itself up once they were all sat down. Most was directed towards Jimmy, asking what he did and the places he was looking at and how on earth did he get his hair that perfect. It was a bit awkward with him sitting at the end. Given the middle seat where Grian now sat was also empty, he suspected Tango’s little gentleman’s stunt had messed up the seating arrangement Impulse intentionally left. 

It wasn’t the last. When their drinks came Tango had ordered some crazy bright red fruity slushy monstrosity like he was on vacation or something. For him it might as well be. Something that brightly coloured, with a fruit skewer at that, was basically tempting the gods as far as Jimmy was concerned, who looked more dazzled by it than the already bright blue drink he ordered. Only a sip had been taken before Tango was nudging it towards him, asking, “Wanna try?” Which he wholeheartedly accepted.

Honestly, between that and the conversation somehow always managing to close into a back and forth between the pair, Grian wanted to gag. Did his brother have absolutely no shame? Or maybe Grian was just bitter he had to order something lighter as their driver. It was at least funny to watch Scar also ask for a sip and be completely ignored.

A large platter was ordered over individual meals. It was just easier, when everyone wanted to try this and that. Astonishingly, it was probably the first time Grian had witnessed Tango eat a vegetable, when he tried one of the skewers the brothers ordered on the side. That was the power of good barbeque, he supposed.

They finally called it after Gem won the third round of bowling in a row. Grian tapped against the open door of his car, glaring holes in the back of his brother’s head, who was too busy saying goodbye to Tango to notice. “Come ooon Tim!” He finally shouted after the third obnoxious little giggle they shared. When he turned, Grian narrowed his eyes. You ain’t subtle. The pair finally said goodbye for real, and Jimmy ran to get in the car before Grian decided to drive off without him. He’d barely gotten his seatbelt on before he was furiously typing something on his phone. Really?

“So, how was it?” Grian asked.

“It was fun, your friends seem cool.” Was the distracted response.

“Mhm…” He leaned closer over his shoulder. “And how was Tango?”

If it was possible to jump out of one’s skin then Jimmy had jumped out of his skin, muscles, and bones. “Huh?” He squeaked, face red and eyes bugged. Grian only returned it with an unimpressed eye roll.

“Oh please. You nearly dropped a bowling ball on your foot while swooning.”

“Well… He’s a cool guy, isn’t he?”

And that shut Grian up. More efficiently than he would like to admit. He expected Jimmy to deny it, or be too flustered to say much of anything. When Grian failed to reply Jimmy went back to his phone, tapping away with a smile. There was that obnoxious giggle again.

This was not one of the issues Grian anticipated having when his brother told him he was moving. 

“So, how do we set them up?”

Impulse Hummed, spending far too long reading the contents of a can of cream of mushroom like it wasn’t the same can he always bought. “Who?”

“ Who? ” Grian mocked back. “Tim and Tango!”

“Do we need to?” Three more cans joined the first, before they moved on to the broths. Grian threw the bouillon in the cart before his companion could grab a carton that would languish in the back of his fridge. “They seem to be doing fine on their own.”

“No, trust me. I know Tim. He was literally living with his last boyfriend before he realized they were dating and that he liked him. He’s an idiot.”

“And Tango hasn’t exactly been leaving the basement much lately.” Impulse conceded, grabbing a carton of pho broth anyways. Acceptable, Grian supposed.

“So, then, any ideas?”

They paused before entering the next aisle. The larger man’s face twisted in thought. “Well, we could invite him to D&D, run a oneshot, and have their characters drink a love potion until they get the hint.”

“That sounds like a terrible idea, absolutely not.” He wrote it down in his phone for a future session.

“Another dinner?”

“What are the odds of getting Tango out of the house twice?”

“Probably a lot higher than you’d think with how they were acting.”

“What if I gave Timmy a tour of your house and just locked the basement door behind him?”

“You know I’m starting to think we might be bad at this and should leave it to someone else.”

“Nonsense!” Grian grabbed the first bottle of soya sauce he spotted, much to Impulse’s protests. He wasn’t going to sit and wait for him to match the prices to the ounces. “Look, I know Timmy best, and you know Tango best. Logically, there’s no better pair of heads to crack together for this. They’ll thank us at the wedding.”

A jar of pickled bamboo shoots found its way into the cart beside the biggest bag of basmati rice Impulse could pick up. He had to catch his breath before he continued. “Listen, Grian, do you need to… talk, or something?”

“What?” Grian’s head whipped around from the wall of spices he was mulling over. “About what?”

Impulse hunched his shoulders up, cringing slightly. “I dunno, y’know… You’re planning your brother’s wedding to your friend while picking out my groceries for me. I’m not even sure how you found out I was grocery shopping or found me in the store. I don’t think that’s normal, healthy person behaviour.” 

“I am so completely normal and healthy!” He said just a bit too loud.

“You know you can talk to me if you need to.”

This was getting nowhere real fast. “Are you going to help me or not?”

Impulse sighed. “I’ll help.”

“Good. Then, what’s the plan?”

In the end, the plan was little more than ‘wait and see’ with a side sprinkling of putting the pair in as much direct contact as possible. This turned out to be much more work than they anticipated, however. Jimmy had always been a socialite, but he seemed to be gone every other day viewing houses or visiting locations. Meanwhile, Tango did as he does and made himself busy constantly. Every group activity Grian planned was lucky to get even one of them, and he was about to lose his damn mind.

Their big break finally showed itself one evening, when Jimmy dropped in with Grian. Well, it was more like Grian promised to drive him to do some errands and made a left turn away from the mall and directly to the ZITS house instead. A decision Jimmy was not familiar enough with the town yet to notice until it was too late. Just the sound of Jimmy’s voice managed to draw Tango upstairs to see what was going on in his kitchen, where the rest of them were chatting.

Immediately the annoying little giggles started up again. If there was one thing in this world that could make Grian try to keep them apart, it was that giggle.

“By the way, Jimmy,” Skizz piped up from where he leaned against the sink. “You still need a lift tomorrow?”

When had Jimmy found time to befriend Skizz? Who knows. Knowing the two of them they probably bumped into each other on the street and kept talking till the sun went down. Extroverts were so exhausting. (He ignored the little Impulse-ish voice nagging that Grian was also something of an extrovert.)

“Yeah, sorry, I appreciate it.”

“Where you going?” Impulse asked.

“Got another house tour.” Tango of all people replied. Maybe that wasn’t all that surprising, though, given the amount Grian has spotted Jimmy texting the past few days.

“Is that so? Will you be going with them?” Grian teased, but instead got a toothy grin back.

“Yessiree!”

Really? Inviting your crush house hunting? Was that forward or just weird? Either way, it was an opportunity. “You know, Tim, you haven’t invited me to go with you.” He whined, putting on his best puppy dog eyes. 

Unfortunately, while Jimmy’s talents were sparse, this was one area where he outranked Grian by a factor of magnitudes and had unlocked absolute immunity, or something. “Yeah. That was on purpose.” He said bluntly, not even looking away from Tango, who laughed. In fact, everyone laughed. Even Impulse, the traitor.

Grian wouldn’t give up so easily, however. “Well I think you should. So where is it?”

“What? You’ll just embarrass me, I’m not telling you!” He squeaked, finally looking at his kind, sweet, dear older brother.

“Yes, you are!”

“No, I’m not!”

And that was how Jimmy ended up in a headlock on ZITS’s kitchen floor, Impulse reluctantly using Jimmy’s phone to text Grian the address on his calendar. Tango, simp that he was, managed to distract Grian by jokingly calling Jimmy honey, forcing Grian to let go in order to pretend to hurl, during which time Jimmy made his escape back to the car. 

He won though, and the next day when Jimmy pulled up with Skizz and Tango to the house tour, Grian and Impulse were already waiting there with the realtor.

“I can’t believe you.” Jimmy dragged his hands down his face. “Don’t you have to, I don’t know, work?”

“Jokes on you, I’m my own boss.” Grian puffed up his chest.

Tango patted Jimmy on the back and turned the both of them towards the poor, confused realtor. “Let’s just get this over with.” He soothed, to which Jimmy gave him a saccharine smile.

The property was ridiculously nice. It wasn’t especially big, but it was lined by woodlands and already had a garden, albeit in need of some severe TLC. There was even an old chicken coop to the side of the house that only needed new fencing and cleaning. The house itself was a one-story cutesy cottage-like thing. It was older, but whomever had lived in it last had the wiring redone and appliances replaced. The bedroom was big, too, as they tended to be in these older houses, and the bathroom had a proper large tub. There was a spare office room with a nice big window to the garden. The garage was separate, and large enough to be a workshop. All that while being well within the range of good internet and still close enough one could walk to town if they really wanted to. 

It was, essentially, Jimmy’s dream home. The only issue Jimmy seemed to have was the fact that the wall between the living room and kitchen had been knocked out for a more modern open concept design with the largest windows in the house.

“It’d probably be a pain to heat in winter, right?” He asked no one in particular. 

Grian knew jack all about houses, and only shrugged. It still wasn’t that big, so he imagined not. Impulse and Skizz seemed to mull the idea over a little longer. Tango, though, saw an opportunity, and Grian had to give him credit because the man took it without hesitation. His arm was around Jimmy’s shoulder, toothy grin leaned in a bit too close. “Well, that sounds like a good excuse to cuddle up in bed all winter, hm?”

Jimmy’s cheeks turned pink. He muttered something under his breath that made Tango chuckle. Grian rolled his eyes towards Impulse, who seemed almost too shocked by his friend’s forwardness to notice.

More questions were asked, things Grian was glad he never had to worry about as a condo guy. Owning a home seemed like so much work, but Jimmy had lists upon lists. Of course, it was Jimmy, and even with lists he forgot certain things. But Tango seemed ready to pick up the slack with his own barrage of inquiries. 

“I think,” Jimmy said, looking at the kitchen with a bit of awe. “I think this might be it, guys.”

“Yeah?” Tango’s eyes practically sparkled with excitement. Jimmy nodded.

The realtor stepped up. “There aren’t any other serious inquiries at the moment, I think you have a good chance if you put in the asking price.” Jimmy nodded, and the realtor went off to his car to make a call.

Grian pursed his lips at his brother, though. “Are you sure you can afford that? I know you’ve saved up and all, but it’s still a lot.”

Jimmy beamed though, clearly overwhelmed with excitement. “Of course, you think we would look at houses we can’t afford?”

“I mean if I’m honest kind of, but- wait. We?”

“I’ll have you know, despite the beliefs of certain individuals, my credit score’s top notch.” Tango patted his chest proudly. “And between the two of us we have more than enough savings for the down payment.”

Grian felt the wires in his brain short circuit and reboot. An unholy screech came from his throat. “What!”

Jimmy and Tango both side-eyed each other, their awkward smiles caught between guilty and like they were ready to burst out laughing. “You… Thought I could buy a home on my own?” Jimmy asked, hiccupping in the middle.

Impulse looked just as dumbfounded. “When did you work this out?” His voice came out hoarse.

It was Tango’s turn to be confused, raising an eyebrow. “Um, months ago? I told you, Impy.”

“You said you were thinking about moving out, not buying a house with a stranger!”

“Wait-” Skizz burst out laughing, pointing at Grian and Impulse. “You guys really didn’t know?”

“No, why do you know!”

“Cause I listen to my roommates?”

“Hold on. Months ago?” Grian pushed them out of the way, getting into his brother’s face.

It seemed Tango was no longer able to hold in his laughter, leaning on Jimmy for support while Jimmy rubbed the back of his neck. “I honestly couldn’t tell if you’d actually forgotten or if this was some bit.” He admitted.

“We’ve been together for almost three years.” Tango wheezed out between cackles.

“Excuse me?” Balked Grian. “Since when? You’ve never met!” His head whipped between the two. How on earth-

A finger twirled absently in the air as Jimmy tried to explain. “Do you remember your Halloween party? The one me and Joel attended, where Tango was dressed up as an imposter?”

“Yeah?” It was the biggest party he’d ever held, how could he forget? His brow creased. “But that doesn’t make any sense, I never got to introduce you two cause you both went… home… early.” Grian’s eyes went wide as the puzzle pieces clicked into place.

Tango leaned against Jimmy’s shoulder with a smirk. “There it is.”

“Oh. My god.”

“I told you he doesn’t ever listen to me.” Jimmy groaned.

“You two-”

“Yeah.”

Grian gasp cracked. “Jimmy you slut !”

“ Excuse me? ” Jimmy shouted back in equal amounts of disbelief and anger.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw the realtor pause in the entryway, then slowly back out of view once more.

“You heard me!”

“What do you think we did!”

“Well you weren’t enjoying my party, that’s for sure!”

 “Okay, okay, everybody calm down.” Skizz stepped in, pushing Grian towards Impulse, who seemed to hold Grian back on instinct more than anything as he was still lost in shock.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Impulse asked, giving his housemate a look of betrayal. It was returned with concern.

“I did? I swear I did.”

“Dipple Dop, he told us he was busy in call with his partner all the time. He extended his work trips several times.”

“That was Timmy?” He stumbled back, leaning on the counter. “I thought he meant, like, an MMO buddy.”

“Yeah, and you certainly never told me!” Grian huffed, which Jimmy returned.

“I did tell you, but you didn’t listen! Or did you just do that thing like with Scott where you thought I wasn’t aware I was dating the guy I lived with for two months just because I told you we hadn’t-”

“You know what?” Skizz clapped his hands together. “I think we all need to just take a deep breath, okay? Everybody just breathe. In,” He took a deep breath, of which his housemates joined in while the brothers continued to glare at each other. “And out.” They all let out a long sigh.

 A brief silence fell over the group, only interrupted by a nervous knock at the door. The realtor stuck his head in, eyes darting between the group. “Um, Mister Solidarity, Mister Tek, could I speak to you now?”

“Yes, one second.” Jimmy said, voice tight. The pair left to talk outside.

Grian and Impulse went home after that, waiting for the other three to return. They said little, Grian fuming while Impulse stared at his lap like his dog just died. Zed popped in to say he was going out, at which point he was let in on the day’s events and gave them both odd looks. Had they really been the only ones who didn’t know? 

By the time everyone else arrived back at the house they’d pulled themselves together somewhat. Not entirely, but enough to ask questions without shouting.

“So, you’re really leaving?” Impulse asked, voice almost watery. Tango’s posture softened with his smile, and pulled the larger man into a big hug.

“Oh, buddy, I told you I was gonna. I’m a big boy now!”

“Yeah, but… I dunno. We’ve lived together since college. I didn’t think this would actually happen…”

Skizz rubbed his back. “Hey, he ain’t movin’ cross country, he’s just down the road. We’ll see him all the time.”

“Yeah! I promise, Impy, I ain’t going nowhere.”

The three continued to talk among each other, comforting their friend, so Grian left them be. Instead, he turned his attention onto Jimmy, who still looked huffy, with his arms crossed and a glare squarely on Grian.

“I told you.”

“Well, maybe you should have told me better.” Grian turned his nose up as an almost automatic response. Jimmy threw his arms in the air and stomped off to the doorway, and immediately Grian felt the regret. He chased after his little brother. “Wait, Tim. I’m…” A warbled wheeze escaped his throat, straining to get the dreaded word out. “Ssso-…rry... That I didn’t listen.”

The shift was near-instant, disdain laxing into smugness. “There, was that so hard?”

“Immensely.”

“Oh, come off it, you big baby.”

“I just don’t get it.” Grian grabbed his hair. “How did I miss that you two were dating? Why didn’t Tango say something when we invited him to dinner?”

“Well, it probably started with the fact that you introduce me to everyone as Tim and his boyfriend’s name is Jimmy.” He sneered, eyebrow raised.

Well, he had him there. Not that he would ever admit that to his brother’s face. “I still can’t believe you ditched my party to hook up with my friend.”

“Oh my god, we didn’t hook up!” Jimmy threw his head back. “We just went to get Mcdonald’s and watch movies because Tango almost had a panic attack at the number of people you invited and couldn’t breathe.”

“In my defence, I didn’t expect that many people to actually show up.”

“Either way, stop projecting.”

“Wh- excuse me?”

“Tango’s the same as me. I can assure you nothing like that would ever happen.”

Grian pouted. Well, at least they were happy and close by. “Fine, I’ll forgive you if you can get Tango to come to roller derby night.”

“Uh, I don’t have anything I need to be forgiven for, and I’m not going to make Tango do something he doesn’t want to do.”

“But Tim, consider: Tango falling on his butt in the most hideous disco suit.”

That gave Jimmy pause, thinking for a solid moment before a smile stretched behind his hand. “Alright, fine.”

“Yes!” Grian pumped his fist into the air, nearly smacking Impulse in the face as the group joined them.

“What’s going on out here?”

“Nothing.” Both brothers replied, matching smiles immediately getting them suspicious looks. Jimmy pushed past them to grab Tango’s hand and drag him towards the basement. “C’mon, we have to finish planning.”

“Yessir.” Tango saluted with a chuckle. 

As they retreated, Grian shouted after them. “Oh, Tango!”

“Yeah?” Bless his soul, he was too busy giving his partner a doofy look that was wiped away the second he turned to see Grian. He did his best to bore a hole through the man’s skull.

“You better watch your back. I know where you sleep.”

“Well, I’d hope so.” Grian didn’t like that grin. “Be weird if you didn’t know where your brother was.”

And that was how Grian began to plan the death of Tango Tek.

[the-californicationist]

Good Fences (Fluffuary #15)

FEB15: Sharing Food

You couldn’t remember whose idea the house party was originally, but after celebrating at the bar, you went home with way more than just your squadron of highly accomplished soldiers. Your apartment was filled to the brim with people; Cana’s friends, her acquaintances, and even her professors were littering your quaint abodes, clutching red solo cups and beer bottles, traveling to and fro between the houses through the front doors.

They would have been traversing along the balcony, but John had declared it officially off-limits. He dragged your space heater outside, wrapped you in two furry blankets, and sat with you in the big futon you’d bought recently, cuddling with you in the wee morning hours, smoking his cigar and rubbing his hand across your shoulder absent-mindedly. 

In the background, loud music played from your speakers, and someone had obviously connected their Spotify account because the jams were perpetual. It was all muffled, though, dampened by the glass wall between you and the din, sheltering you from the party’s raucousness. 

Every now and then, a friend would poke their head out to deliver gossip, drama, questions, or more alcohol. This time though, the door slid open and Johnny drunkenly stumbled out onto the balcony, two drinks in hand, holding a bowl of oranges. 

He didn’t say a word to you. Swaying, moving his weight from one foot to the next as if he were on a rickety pirate ship, he smiled as he looked down at the bowl. Awkwardly, and then a little more skillfully, he plucked out two oranges, handing them to his captain who fit them both in his huge paw. 

You both watched Johnny stagger his way back into the house, silent as a mime, and heard him shut the door with a squeaky whine. 

You looked up at John for guidance, and he looked over at you for the same. Strangely, he smiled, and he also stayed silent. You’d been chatting off and on, but it was as if he didn’t want to break the lull. There was something sacred and soft about it. The traffic had died down, and there was only the boisterous bacchanal behind you. 

Before you, however, was an infinite, sparkling, black blanket of stars. They glittered, red and gold and silver, all dusting the glass of your little globe, showing you the vastness of space you’d never be able to comprehend. But, they made you feel just as infinite, somehow… especially when you were with John.  

He made you feel as if you may have known him in every universe. In every version of every world — both good and bad, both ancient and unprecedented — he found you. He sought you out, or you sought him. Searching for him like a woman possessed; exploring your life and turning over every rock and stone to find him. It was as if Lachesis herself had knotted you together, keeping you twined to one another, helping you to avoid her sister’s shears. 

And now, here he was, in this universe. This was the timeline where he hid you from the revel, kept you safe and all to himself, where he dug his fingernail into the tight, waxy skin of an orange to dig out its flesh, feeding you the dripping, sticky lobe as if it were his purpose. The juice ran down his wide thumb and into the pad of his palm, but he paid it no heed. Instead, he waited patiently for your lips to close around his offering, and only when you were satisfied did he lick himself clean. 

You shared the fruit with him and, when he was done, you tasted it in his mouth as he began to kiss you with an intense hunger. It lingered with his smoke on your tongue, and the memory of that flavor became permanent in you like a scar.

Check out the schedule here.

AO3 Link

[latenightbreezeinheaven]

Synastry aspects with my unforgettable and beloved ex (Personal Experience) *Part-1* 💝👩🏻‍❤️‍👨🏻

I’ve been feeling quite nostalgic about the memories I had with my first ex in these days. I normally don’t reveal my feelings this because I’m worried that I wouldn’t be able to control myself and things would go worse as I tend to be impulsive when I really want something. However, I checked our synastry chart last night as I couldn’t sleep and I saw some lovey-dovey aspects as well as heartbreak aspects so let’s dive into it!🤿

His sun conjuncts my moon

💗This is a traditional soulmate aspect and I also think he’s my soulmate. We broke up because we were too young and our parents forced us to. Also, it was because he was moving to another city. If it had not been like that, I’m pretty sure that we would still be together to this day. He has also told me that he felt that we’re soulmates. I felt very comfortable with him most of the times and he just got me. He understood my feelings and I also could tell his feelings just by looking at him. Our energies also sometimes were mixed up. If he was sad, I was sad too and we were not even in the same place at those times. It was like magic. He was like the Ying to my Yang and Romeo to my Juliet. Even though we don’t have mercury aspects, our conversations were always going with the flow and there was not a single time when we had nothing to say. We were friends and also lovers.👫🏻

His moon conjuncts my Venus

💗This is also very warm and sweet, especially in Cancer. We both were romantic but needless to say, as I have a Venus in 12th house, I made more romantic gestures for him than he did for me. Whenever we were together, we stared at each other while holding hands and we smiled and giggled. It was like a scene from a typical high school romance movie. I loved to hold his hands so much. I felt very safe when I held his hands. I used to hug him from behind and from the front and at those times, I just felt like I was at home even though I was at school where I hated the most. I used to rub his cheeks while holding his hands from the other hand when he cried. I felt appreciated with him and we loved each other’s presence. Lovey-dovey for sure!👀

My moon conjuncts his mars

💗This is known as a “baby making” aspect in synastry from my knowledge. And even though we didn’t have sex and he didn’t even touch my private parts and neither did I, I always felt this electric connection flowing in my body whenever he touched my arms and thighs. My blood boiled suddenly and it was special. I felt like he could be the father of my children lmao😭😂. And I also loved staring at him and brushing off his hair when he slept. He was like a cheerleader for me too. He supported me emotionally and I supported him to take actions to achieve his goals. I was prone to anxiety attacks so I had difficulties in studying but he uplifted me and I also helped him learn by studying with him together. The connection between us felt so traditional though. Most of the time, I loved switching gender roles (not in bed). For instance, I didn’t want to become a housewife who stays at home and takes care of children. But with him, I just wanted to marry him, stay at home, nurture him and our children, cook for them and do typical housewife duties.👰🏻‍♀️

His venus trines my mars

💗That also indicates a sexual attraction but his Venus was in Leo and I am allergic to guys with Venus in Leo. I just don’t get along with them normally because they irritate me. They want someone who they can show off to public and I don’t know his intentions towards me but urgh idk I don’t like Venus Leo men (I love girls though). At this point, I think I played as a masculine role and he was in feminine mood because I kissed him first. Yes you saw it. He wasn’t making any moves so I wasn’t patient anymore and I just kissed him and he was soo surprised because in our country, girls don’t normally kiss first. He told me that it turned him on more but in a romantic way and not sexually.😃

My moon conjuncts his Jupiter

💗We were bubbly together. I laughed with him a lot and our relationship was teemed with giggles and crazy laughs. I enjoyed his company and he enjoyed mine too. I felt expanded intellectually when I was with him and I was willing to do everything together with him such as traveling and trying out adventurous activities. I provided him to open up his feelings but he never fully did.🤷🏻‍♀️

My sun squares his mars

💗We rarely fought during our relationship but there was one fight that I can never forget. At that time, he teased me about a trivial matter and I was so serious about it because I was on a period and I lashed out my anger at him. He didn’t get it and he never retreated and went on teasing me so I didn’t talk to him for 3 days even though he was sitting beside me in the class for all those days. He tried so hard to make me talk to him but I kinda insulted his mom and his exes and then, he fought me back (he was a momma boy, he still is). Our argument was intense and explosive. My mars Aries shot his ass off with non-stop cursing words and he also said that I was selfish and etc. The fight ended with the help of mutual friends but during the argument, it was like two tigers fighting for a piece of beef.🐯

His sun sextiles my Venus

💗I have to admit it. I liked him first and I kind of flirted with him. He flirted me back and we got together. From the first time I saw him, I had this lil crush on him like he was my type even though he didn’t meet my expectations. I adored him the way he was. I just felt so positive about him and he told me he felt it too.

My north node squares his moon

💗I have seen in a post on tumblr (I don’t remember the original author sorry) that those people whose personal planets make square aspect to your north node may drag you down or delay you in some way. In other words, they may be the reason for delays and restrictions to get to your life purpose. His moon squares my north node and I had to process our break up for about a year because of his feelings and mine. I don’t know how to explain this but I felt emotionally stuck with him like I could not escape from my own emotions and I felt that he was the one responsible for it.

My Lilith conjuncts his Venus

💗It’s really interesting to see this pattern going on with me because there are 3 guys that I can never forget in my life and two of them have their Venus conjunct my Lilith. I’ve read countless posts about Lilith contacts and I still don’t clearly get who is more obsessed with who but I’m pretty sure I was the one more obsessed with both of them. I couldn’t let go of them even after a long time. This guy and I broke up 3 years ago and look at me, I’m still here, writing a post about the synastry between him and I😭😂. Plus, I felt that I could show my Lilith side to him without worrying about being judged. So if any of you have experiences with Lilith conjunct venus, please share yours freely because I’m so curious!!😩

His Lilith conjuncts my mercury

💗He was obsessed with the way I talked. He told me to talk more with him about various topics because he felt good hearing my voice. I find this funny because my word usages are not even attractive and my voice is also not hot but he said he loved it. He didn’t like it too when I talked to other people, even to my older cousin brother. Pretty bit of a tiny red flag but I was so in love with him so I was blind at that time.😪

My Chiron opposes his Venus

💗This is also a same pattern because I was always heartbroken by guys who had their Venus in aspect with my chiron (not only opposition). People say that Venus conjunction chiron is a marriage aspect and it’s very healing but I got major traumas from a guy whose Venus conjunct my chiron so hmm umm excuse me!? Back to my ex, his Venus is in opposition with my chiron and it was not healing at all. AT ALL. He traumatized me. His parents traumatized me. His friends traumatized me. Honestly, it’s very complicated to explain but the reason why I got bullied and slut-shamed at school is because of him. But those experiences made me stronger and more mature. It brought me to where I am right now and that’s why I don’t regret it. It hurt me so much though. Like a sword in my heart.😔

His Saturn conjuncts my ascendant

💗So, I don’t have much to say about this aspect but I felt insecure with him at some times. Especially when it came to my daily activities and my appearance. I felt that I wasn’t pretty enough and I felt ashamed to mention what I did in my daily life. But this is not very personal because most guys from my class had their Saturn conjunct my ascendant as Saturn moves not so fast and those guys were at the same age with me. In a way, I felt insecure about my appearance with people who were at the same age with me.

His moon conjuncts my ascendant

💗I’m not very sure about this because I don’t know his birth time and the moon can differ from 1-10 degrees forward or backward depending on the birth time. But his moon is at 15 degrees (without birth time) and my ascendant is at 21 degrees, so it conjuncts as of now. I felt at ease with him as I mentioned earlier but I’m going to talk more about this aspect in my later post because his moon is in my 12th house and I have a lot to say about that. Even creepy and paranormal stuffs.🥶

His chiron conjuncts my descendant

💗I searched it up on Google and I saw that the chiron person is destined to give the descendant person a lesson in whatever ways and that is absolutely true. He brought lessons into my life and I’m really grateful for those and interestingly, back in those days, most guys in my class also had their chiron conjunct my descendant and they also brought me lessons and lessons and lessons. The whole class didn’t speak to me FYI. And also the whole school. That’s okay now because I realized that being alone doesn’t mean feeling lonely and you can feel lonely even though you’re going out with friends if you’re not in the right circle.

Anyways, I had to write this out because my heart was crying out for him so much and the only thing I can do at this time is writing this and recalling some sweet memories we shared. I have a love-hate relationship with him and currently, I miss him so much and wanna talk to him but I can’t. I wanna g we back with him kinda but as my friend said, there was a reason why I broke up with him and why I blocked him on social media so I shouldn’t go back.

This is the end of this post and remember these are not facts. These are just my personal experiences so take them with a pinch of salt!! Thank you for reading to the end and have a nice day!❤️

•There is gonna be a part-2 for the synastry with this ex and I will be mentioning about house overlays in that post but mainly about moon in 12th house so stay tuned!✨