#also i love cassandra so much and knew that i wanted to draw this interaction asap

[2aceofspades]

Major Spoilers for EMD Chapter 14!

Go read go read go read-

|

...

Yeah so I may or may have not freaked when Cassandra showed up aauuhhh-

[ordinaryschmuck]

Why I (Want to) Love Tangled: The Series/Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure

Salutations random people on the internet who most likely won’t read this. I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

When I heard Disney was making an animated series based on Tangled, acting as a continuation from the original movie, my initial thought was, "Why?"

Sure, Disney is infamous for its unnecessary sequels of the story after happily ever after, with the many, many, many failures that follow suit. Even then, though, most of these continuations were movies that kind of have the potential to tell more of a story. But what more could be said about Tangled? Sorry to spoil a movie that's over ten years old at this point, but by the end of it: Rapunzel lost her golden hair, was reunited with her parents, fell in love, and lived happily ever after. Her losing the golden hair is the most essential part of that list because how can you do a series based on a Disney princess when her most iconic feature is gone? Then I found out that the series forced a way for her hair to come back, and my new initial thought became, "Oh man. This is gonna suck, isn't it?"

Despite the hesitation, I decided to give it a chance anyway. After all, I've been pleasantly surprised before. Things like My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, The Mitchells vs. the Machines, and even The Owl House (yes, really), were shows (and a movie) that I didn't think would be that special. Only to find myself enjoying nearly every minute. So after watching Tangled: The Series/Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure, I can certainly say I was surprised...but it was entirely for the wrong reasons.

And to explain how requires spoilers. So if you haven't checked the series out yet, I highly suggest you do it to form your own opinion. Just keep in mind that it's a bit of a mess, but it can be an enjoyable mess...sometimes...let me explain.

WHAT I LIKED

The Animation/Art Style: The series swapping from 3D to 2D might have been the most brilliant decision anyone could have ever made with this series. Usually, when an animated movie gets turned into a show, the most noticeable downgrade is always the animation. Whether it’s not as detailed or not as fluid, it's always subjective that the movie is better animated than the series. But by switching up the styles, the contrast becomes objective instead. 2D and 3D animation each have their pros and cons, so deciding which one is better is nothing more than a matter of opinion. So by changing the style, Tangled: The Series/Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure avoids getting complaints of being a downgrade from the original movie. It also helps that the art style of the series is really unique.

The best way to describe how the show looks is that it's like a coloring book brought to life. At times, everything looks like it was drawn and colored in with crayons, which sounds like an insult, but in actuality, it's one of the best features of the series. As much as I love most animated shows nowadays, I will admit, they all look a little too similar at times. Then here comes Tangled: The Series/Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure, which tries to incorporate a whole new style that successfully sets it apart from most shows.

As for the animation itself, it's really well-made! It's remarkably expressive when required, while the movements are really fluid during the correct scenes. Sure the fighting can be a little floaty during some action set pieces (yes, those exist here), but the dialogue and comedic moments are really where the series shines with its animation. I may have problems with the series as a whole, but I give credit where credit is due for the perfectly executed effort that I see in every episode in terms of animation.

Rapunzel and Eugene’s relationship: This was not something I was expecting to enjoy from the series. In the movie, Rapunzel and Eugene were fine. They were the typical Disney couple that worked off of each other enough that it was always entertaining, even if it was unbelievable that they fell deeply in love with each other after, like, two days. They weren't bad, but they weren't anything to go crazy over.

But the writers for the series said, "You know what, let's make these two adorable in nearly every scene they're in." And they are!

Even though I don't believe in their relationship in the movie, I fully believe it here. Both characters have a large amount of faith in one another on top of having endless love for their partner. Like how Eugene knew Rapunzel would be fine when taking out an airship or how Rapunzel couldn't bring herself to say a bad thing about Eugene when making Cassandra a sparring dummy of him. It's legitimately pleasant to watch, to the point where I put Rapunzel and Eugene in my top ten list of favorite fictional couples. They're that good to me, and it's one of the reasons why I don't jump on the bandwagon of shipping the two main female characters together. I'm all for LGBTQA+ representation, but give Cassandra her own girlfriend. Rapunzel's taken, and most of my enjoyment of this show comes from her and her man. So, you know, keep things as they are.

Cassandra (Seasons One and Two): Seeing how I've already mentioned her, let's talk about Cassandra, shall we? Because when making a series based on a movie that had only four prominent characters, with two of them being comedic animal sidekicks, you're going to need to introduce more members to the main cast to write more potential stories. And Cassandra, in Seasons One and Two (I'll get to Season Three), is a worthy addition. She acts as a strict straight man (I know the irony) who interacts well with Rapunzel and clashes perfectly with Eugene on occasion. She was passably entertaining in Season One and developed amazingly in Season Two. Her growing frustrations with Rapunzel's actions lead to a slow build-up that made her betrayal heartbreaking but somewhat understandable. And as for the results in that betrayal...yeah, I'll get into that later. For now, I'll just say that Cassandra was a pleasant addition to the main cast, especially when she was a part of the main trio, and she's yet another good surprise that the writers supplied for the series.

The Songs: The songs are...not going to be for everyone. Most of them are passable yet kind of generic, while others sound like they belong on Disney Junior (Looking at you, "Bigger Than That"). But when Tangled: The Series/Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure makes a hit, MAN, it is a home run. Numbers like "Ready As I'll Ever Be" and "Nothing Left to Lose" are sung phenomenally, orchestrated well, and are songs I can listen to on repeat multiple times. And "Waiting in the Wings" is not only something I consider to be the best song in the series, but it's also something I'd place as high up on Disney's best due to how f**king incredible it is. "Waiting in the Wings" is a powerful ballad that manages to be both tragic yet inspiring on top of how well it sums up Cassandra as a character. The writers may not always be on top of their game when it comes to music, but songs like these prove that they know how to earn that Disney name.

And that’s all I have for the likes...Oh boy. That’s not a good thing is it?

WHAT I DISLIKED

It Peaked at Season One: It did. It really did.

Season One felt like the writers had a grip on what type of show they wanted: A slice-of-life series with Rapunzel dealing with the issues of her kingdom with a meager threat of these black rocks growing in the background. It was all cute and well-balanced for the most part, but that all disappears in Season Two. Because now it's sort of about this adventure, but because Tangled: The Series/Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure set itself as a slice-of-life series, there need to be these small-scale stories that intertwine the grand narrative being told. The issue is that the story comes to a grinding halt one too many times as fans are forced to sit through these filler episodes that, while not all of them are bad, still feel like a distraction. And by Season Three, the series does feel more focused while having some slice-of-life episodes added to the ongoing story instead of distracting us from it. But the writing isn't as strong, there are several plot holes in the narrative (how did Rapunzel's sunstone get into her dress?), and there is way too much time going back and forth on Cassandra's morality. They claim that she's a villain while arguing that there might still be some good in her, and they continue this train of thought for nine episodes when it really could have been settled in two. For me, it's a bad sign for a series when the first season is the best one. Because if it's all downhill from there, what's the point of even watching?

It Tries to be Epic: This might have been the worst decision the writers could have made.

Now, here's the thing: I don't mind grand epic tales of adventure and battles against demons. If anything, I'm all for them...when it's appropriate and fits with the tone of the series.

Tangled: The Series/Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure suffers a similar problem Frozen II has, in which the writers felt like a big, life-threatening adventure was the perfect continuation of a meager, personal story about the relationships of characters. It isn't. If anything, it's completely missing the mark about what the original story was about. And sure, sometimes writers can succeed in telling personal stories through grand adventures. Just look at The Owl House and parts of Amphibia. But with those shows, it's established within the first few episodes that action and peril will be a series staple. With Tangled, while there was some action and peril, it's all very subdued compared to how high the stakes got raised in later episodes in the show. Especially in the series finale.

And, I mean, c'mon. You're making Rapunzel an action hero?

Judy Hopps? Yes.

Moana? Maybe.

Raya? Most definitely.

But Rapunzel? The character who’s all about optimism and seeing the best of others. That's the character you're going to morph into a hero that fights against an evil demon laid dormant for years? Did you even watch the original movie? Yeah, sorry, but I just don't buy it.

If you want to tell an epic story that gets the blood pumping for fans addicted to adventure, go for it! See where the wind takes you. But make sure to set that tone as early as possible while also making sure that it fits with the characters. If not, the end result is a series that feels like it's trying to be something it’s not.

Eugene is Kind of an Idiot at Times: It should be noted that Movie-Eugene and Series-Eugene are practically two different characters. In the film, Eugene was more or less the straight man, as he often questions the wackiness in the world around him and keeping Rapunzel grounded in reality. For the series, most of that personality got transferred to Cassandra. Thus making Eugene's new role in the series act as the egotistical imbecile. Sure, he had those moments in the film, but not as frequently, and it really pains me when the writers really lean hard into a minor aspect of his personality. Sometimes there are moments when Eugene acts like his original self. But it's all small scenes that are spread apart with entire episodes where he has half a brain cell. I'm sure some people didn't mind this change to the character, but as someone who adores the movie version of Eugene, I can't help but feel disappointed.

The Villains are the Worst: Now, I don't mean the one-off villains that show up, cause some chaos for a bit, and disappear at the end of the episode. Those are characters with fun personalities, occasionally cool designs, and do their job as villains of the week. It doesn't matter if their motivations are laughably simple, as their purpose is to be enjoyable characters above anything else. So I actually enjoy those villains...it's the ones that act as season-long antagonists that really grind my gears.

The purpose behind these types of foes is to build up how evil they are throughout the season. The issue is that the writers try to give these characters, or at least two of them, a point. To be fair, this can work. Just look at Killmonger from Black Panther and sometimes Karli Morgenthau from The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. You understand and probably even sympathize with the logic and reasoning these characters have. It's just that their actions couldn't be farther from what you would do. The problem with Varian and Cassandra is that they have the motivation, but it's not written suitably for the story.

Cassandra is a whole can of worms I'll get to in a minute, but Varian is someone I can easily discuss for a brief time. Because while I can comprehend his pain for having his father frozen in yellow rock, I don't think turning evil is the best decision to go with that character. Because A. Everything is his fault. He blames Rapunzel for not helping him, but even if she didn't have a crisis to deal with, there was nothing she could have done to stop it. His frustrations are not only unjustified, but given the fact that this wouldn't have happened if he listened to his father in the first place, it feels like him becoming evil is too drastic of a turn. And B. Varian worked much better as a supporting character rather than a primary antagonist. He was just this hopeful, if not a clumsy scientist who wanted to prove himself, who causes minor catastrophes due to not thinking ahead. Turning a character like Varian into a villain is a bit of a misstep because if the guy acts hilariously incompetent as a good guy, it makes little sense to have him be intelligent and ten steps ahead of Rapunzel when being evil. If he were to become more serious and careful when helping the rest of the main cast, I'd consider that character progression done properly. But becoming a villain is just an overreaction.

However, none of that compares with my issues with the main antagonist of the series: Zhan Tiri. This goes back to my problems with the series making itself too epic. Because if Zhan Tiri existed in any other show, I probably wouldn't have any problem with her. She's built up well throughout all three seasons and is kind of threatening at times. But she doesn't belong in a series based on a movie that dealt with a small, personal issue where it wasn't even the character who killed the villain in the end. It was her love interest and animal sidekick. Even if Zhan Tiri works well as a character, the fact that it doesn't feel like she belongs in the show makes her too distracting to enjoy. And that's why these villains suck. If not poorly written, they don't belong in a series that should focus on small-scale issues. And if you can functionally write an antagonist that appears for only one episode but flounder with ones that show up in several, well, that's just embarrassing.

Cassandra (Season 3): OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH BOY, do I have some words to express with this character. Like with Movie-Eugene and Series-Eugene, Cassandra from Seasons One and Two is frustratingly different from the psychotic IDIOT from Season Three. Basically, just take the issues I have with Varian, multiply them by ten, add them with some bafflingly stupid decisions, and you still wouldn't get how much Season Three-Cassandra frustrates me!

First off, her motivation...what the f**k were the writers thinking? The big reason why Cassandra betrays Rapunzel and motivates all of her misdeeds was that Cassandra's mother was Mother Gothal...EXPLAIN THAT LOGIC TO ME?! Because Cassandra should know what type of woman Mother Gothal was. She should know what Mother Gothal did to Rapunzel in the first eighteen years of her life. So how is Cassandra being abandoned by Gothal the central motivator to cut ties with Rapunzel, who is probably an even bigger victim in this scenario!? Seriously, Rapunzel was cut off from the rest of the world and treated as an unknowing prisoner because she was beneficial to Gothal. Cassandra was adopted into a household with mutual love and got to actually live her life. In no way does it make sense for her to be angry at Rapunzel.

Nor does it make sense that the writers try to play it off as a good thing in the song "Crossing the Line!" Sure, it sounds nice, but thematically, it gives across the opposite feelings that the audience should have. Because if Cassandra cutting ties with Rapunzel is meant to be tragic and awful, why is the music suggesting it's the best possible thing that's ever happened for the character? If you like the song, fine, but even you have to admit that it's thematic nonsense.

But, sure. Cassandra's evil now, and she considers it a good thing. Whatever. I'll take it as long as it leads to good stories...but here's the thing: In the penultimate episode before the three-part series finale, Cassandra asks a question. A question I would have never expected her to ask, despite everything that has happened in the last season. A question that was so baffling, I had to legitimately pause the episode to process the fact that she asked something so stupid. Because Cassandra, the character who is intelligent and grounded in reality, asked, "Am I the bad guy?"

I was honestly shocked to find out she was shocked! How, in the flying, everlasting, cock-a-doodle-doodling F**K does a person like her not pick up that maybe, just maybe, she isn't the hero in this story!? Call me crazy, but endangering the lives of people you once called friends and family, dressing in black, AND HAVING A GIANT EVIL-LOOKING TOWER MADE OUT OF F**KING SPIKES aren't qualities I would give to a hero!

If Cassandra was like Thanos, a character so wrapped up in his ego that he can't even notice how evil he is, I would understand. But she doesn't have an ego. Anger, yes. But for the most part, her personality is based on having logic and reasoning. So turning her into a villain and having her unaware that she's a villain is an act of lunacy that I am incapable of understanding. I don't know who's idea this was, but whoever is to blame...you've got issues.

>Sighs<...This series isn't good, is it?

IN CONCLUSION

I like the animation and some of the characters...but that's not enough. Tangled: The Series/Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure is a mess of a show that tries to do too much for a story that should have so little. Meaning that it's a D+ for me. I want to enjoy it and give it a higher grade, especially with how much I hear people praise this series. And if you do enjoy it, all the power to you. Your opinions are valid, even if I highly disagree with them. Because for me, this is a show that I won't get myself tangled up in again in the future.

[canis-lunaris]

Introducing: The Wandering Witch AU

(With transgirl!Remus, questioning!Sirius and endless conversations about the metaphysics of wandless magic)

This is the latest installment of our various Wolfstar AU's with August, one we came up with while we were on a mini-holiday, celebrating our third anniversary.

In this universe, pureblood-supremacy is rampant, keeping the Wizarding World in the permanent dark ages. Muggle-born wizards are only allowed a wand upon being accepted at a magic school, and most institutions favour pureblood children over half-blood, or muggle-born students. Wands are registered and heavily regulated, including tracking-spells and random spot-checks for counterfeit, or unregistered wands by Ministry officials.

After a werewolf-attack at age 4, Remus Lupin’s father tries to teach her magic using his own wand, knowing she would never be allowed into Hogwarts. However, performing magic with someone else's wand is not only dangerous and illegal, but also extremely difficult. Remus — a savant, who can sense magical currents in a way none of her peers can — realises that she doesn't need a wand to focus her power, and instead develops her own way of casting — or spell-weaving, more accurately —, tying an intricate web of knots between intent and the ambient magical currents to shape reality to her will. While admittedly crude and volatile, her technique turns out surprisingly potent, which makes her more than capable of protecting herself against the many dangers of a transphobic, werewolf-hating world.

Because her condition places both her and her family in a vulnerable position (the "werewolf-issue is an ages-old favourite talking point of mainstream wizarding politics, including a fearmongering campaign designed to marginalise intelligent magical creatures and eradicate non-human magic users), the Lupins decide to avoid registering their child after the attack, relying on the help of muggle medicine and corrupt healers to nurse her back to health after the transformations. They move frequently, bouncing Remus from school to school, but once Remus has gotten a basic education, they settle down in an isolated cottage on the Scottish highlands, and her mum takes on the duty of homeschooling her.

Having been brought up in a mixed family and lived the majority of her life as a muggle, Remus is well-versed in the matters of 21st century life. Once they settle into their new home, she starts transitioning, takes up Luna as her middle name, but keeps Remus as her first name, refusing to abide by arbitrary societal rules about names being connected to certain genders, rather than the people wearing them. After both her parents meet a tragically early death in a car accident, Remus finds herself alone in the world, with both a house and a large sum of money to her name; she sells the cottage and spends her parents' life insurance settlement on getting bottom surgery, then sets out to travel the world, looking for someone, or something to find a meaningful connection with.

----------

On a glance, Cassandra Black is everything her most ancient and noble house could want for an heir. She is brilliant, powerful and a downright genious when it comes to magic; the only problem is, she's a bit too smart for her own good, and no amount of discipline can keep her from asking too many questions. The only thing her bewildered parents achieve with their constant, increasingly violent punishment is that young Cassandra stops asking them, and starts looking for answers of her own.

By the time she's 11, she's thoroughly disillusioned, worlds away from the conservative, blood-supremacist doctrines she was brought up with. Upon entering Hogwarts, she spends the first free breath of her life on convincing the Sorting Hat not to place her in Slytherin, a decision she pays for with the world as she knew it. In return, she gains a new, brighter one, full of friendship, adventure and budding romance — although dark secrets, stomach-turning injustice and bitter heartbreak too. When it comes to her parents' attention that she is sleeping with a witch, their treatment turns from toxic hostility to open abuse, severing all emotional ties between Cassandra and the House of Black. She spends five years as a proud Gryffindor, but by the time her 16th birthday rolls around, she feels like she'd learnt everything Hogwarts had to offer — the good and the bad alike. She decides not to return to the castle for the sixth year: instead, she uses the start of the school year to orchestrate an elaborate escape plan, that would make it impossible for her family to find her. She breaks her wand and vanishes into the night, never to be seen again.

British Wizarding society erupts in chaos, because even one as scandalous as the Black heiress, the mysterious disappearance of a 16-year-old, pureblood-aristocrat (and a witch, for that) brings the Ministry's messaging about public safety into question, and the story keeps the tabloids busy for the better part of a year. The family puts out an enticing bounty on their firstborn's head, but regardless of the spectacular reward, no one can locate Cassandra, and without a wand to track, she proves to be impossible to trace. Eventually, the tabloids move on and the story slowly fades into the background, although, en lieu of a body, they never officially assume her dead, and the family never gives up the secret search for their wayward, blood-traitor daughter.

----------

Three years later:

Somewhere, hidden in the mountains of Scotland, there is a halfway-house, for magical folks who need to get off the grid, for one reason or another. Remus is a regular visitor, using the shelter's reinforced cellar for the full moon, and taking her time to recover at the quaint little house for a while thereafter. Nobody bothers her there, and while people do use the retreat — it's always clean, stocked with food, healing items and clean bedding, among other obvious signs of habitation —, she'd never encountered any other guests during her visits. This time, however, an unpleasant surprise welcomes her, in form of a backpack and a half-drunk bottle of wine on the porch, and soon, she finds the owner of the items as well, lounging on her favorite sunning spot.

The stranger looks ragged; unkempt and malnourished, and when they speak, their voice sounds hoarse, like they haven't used it for a long time. Remus is immediately weary, even though the stranger looks very young and rather unimpressive, expect for the very posh accent and the fact that despite their extremely strong magical aura, they did look startled, almost terrified when Remus walked up behind them — and yet, their hand never even twitched to draw a concealed wand.

"I’m armed!" the stranger warns — maybe they expected a muggle? —, but still doesn't move to reveal any weapon. Remus is quite certain she could take them on in one-on-one combat regardless, should it come to that, but she finds it alarming that this runaway teen would survive alone in the wilderness for what seems like a considerable period; a feat that requires a number of skills and the kind of training that does not come with the elocution training the stranger's speech suggests. Not just the accent, the face too... Under the layers of dirt, severe sunburn and a fading black eye, there is just something eerily familiar about them.

She introduces herself as Remus — it's one of her favourite ways to quickly size up a person, based on their reaction to her obviously masculine name. She does the whole cheeky, "whatchagonnado" act she perfected throughout the years, expecting anything from a spiteful comment to a confused eyebrow-raise in response, but the stranger just nods and gives her a polite "hello, Remus", like this was the most normal interaction between two people who just met at a shelter for magical misfits, in the middle of fucking nowhere.

The stranger, however, is less forthcoming about their identity, and Remus has to openly ask for their name after 10 minutes of tense, but idle chitchat. The stranger blushes a deep red, and once again, there is that flash of panic in their eyes, before they blurt out "Sirius... Black."

"Oh."

Of course, Remus thinks, wondering how she missed it before. She knows exactly who Sirius is, or who they used to be — she'd seen this face a million times before; a younger, smoother version with fewer sharp angles and without the haunted look in their bloodshot eyes, but the very same face was once plastered all over Britain — on missing flyers, in front page news, later on wanted posters... 10.000 galleons are a fine bit of money for a head like this. She gives the stranger a sideways glance, and they glare right back at her, with a defiant expression that might have betrayed their famous origins, even without the esteemed family name. The Blacks, they do all look the same...

"Well, that answers the question whether you're a muggle" Sirius remarks with a bitter chuckle. "Look, I know what you're thinking. And yes, they do have the funds, but just so we are clear on this, if you move to draw, I'll attack you, and it's gonna be over before you ever reach your wand. You will lose, most likely die, and then I'll have to spend this lovely evening digging a hole for you in the woods instead of sharing a bottle of crappy wine. So, just don't, okay?"

Remus can't help but admire the kid's bravado — they aren't stupid, she can tell that much, if from nothing else, the fact that they somehow successfully evaded one of the most powerful magical families, and their countless footmen, for over three years without ever leaving a trace; and yet, they seem to know when they're outmatched.

"Who says I'd need to draw?" she smirks, hoping to provoke a quick duel out of the youth. She likes to get the power-struggle out of the way early on, just so nobody gets ideas while she's sleeping or in recovery. The young Black might turn out to be a reluctant ally, but they could mean real trouble after the full moon, if they were to follow family tradition in wanting to rid the world of a monster like herself. Three days left until the next transformation, which means she's at the height of her power, so taking Sirius out here and now would be the wisest, and she thinks she could do it without harming them too badly. Nothing she couldn't fix in a blink afterwards.

Sirius measures her with a curious squint, slowly raising their left hand into the air. All five fingers are adorned with a variety of silver rings, from plain, thin bands to heavy signets with rune-engraved stones. A web of glowing lines flare up on the back of their hand, spreading out from an intricate magic sigil on their wrist. They emit a faint, blueish white light, running along each finger to the tip, as Sirius charges up for a wandless spell. Flashy, but creative, Remus thinks, truly impressed for the first time. She's used to wizards relying on their wands to do the work for them, and she knows seven different ways to dismantle the connection before they ever get to fire off. The stranger's magic is different — it's raw and unpolished, but brutally powerful, and very complex, in a geometric sort of way. This would be more difficult than she initially thought, and she's unsure if she could immediately disarm Sirius without having to literally dis-arm them.

To avoid confrontation, she raises a hand in front of her too, conjuring a harmless little will-o-whisp in her palm — a trick she developed as a child, tied up on the bare cement floor of her parents' basement, waiting for the curse to take hold. There was no light in the basement; she was lonely, cold and terrified, so she made herself a friend, a cold flame to keep her company while she was waiting for the moon.

Sirius' eyebrows disappear somewhere under their tangled fringe, but their face lights up with a huge, mischievous grin:

"Remus, the girl raised by the wolves... You're not boring at all, are you?"

[danny-chase]

Hello, are there any Cassandra Cain fans/stans that could help me out with her characterization? I’ve just started to get into writing fanfiction (I haven’t posted any, and am working towards getting more confident with writing the characters in general so hopefully I’ll post some someday) and I haven’t been in the fandom long. Cass is a confusing character for me to write, mostly because I feel like she’s written differently in everything she’s in. And her personality absolutely got erased and overhauled in the New52. I’ve read some of her Batgirl run (it was awhile ago ngl) and I read the storyline where she was introduced in the New52 and the Rise and the Fall of the Batmen (I think that’s the arc she’s involved in with Detective Comics). Idk, more under cut.

My goal in writing Cass is to make her seem like a real person and I’m drawing more on pre-New52 than post-New52. I feel like she used to have so much more to her than just being like a perfect person and the sweetest person in general. Not that she can’t be sweet (I love cinnamon bun Cass too), but she used to have much more grit to her personality it seems like. I’m blending the two personalities, and I’d really like to focus on her love for dance, it’s one of the changes I really liked, and of course her connections to her siblings because I love sibling dynamics. Currently I’m working on a fic where she ends up dancing with each of her siblings. I like the idea of writing her as a bit snarky or sassy (the kind of person that just stares at you with the “really” expression when you do something dumb), more introverted, a bit of a little shit, self deprecating, but genuinely kind hearted, driven, and a perfectionist. I also don’t want to write her as being a magic character that instantly knows what’s wrong with a character. Yeah, she can read body language, but her family is good at hiding things, they’ve been trained recognizing body language and I’m guessing some of them have worked to have good control over their own. My interpretation is she can tell what people are feeling but not why, and how they’re going to move. I’ve written a little bit of the fic so far (um please don’t feel obligated to read through it, any comments on how you think Cass should be written is helpful) so I’ll post it below. Thanks for reading this far if you made it XD.

I don’t have a title for this lmao but the fic starts here:

“Hey.” Dick gently placed a hand on her shoulder as he hopped down from his spot on the water tower. “You know who’s my most favorite, strongest, most beautiful, spectacular-”

Cass groaned; he was making the face. He was wearing his Nightwing mask, but as she turned to look, she could already tell he was making the face. Dick ignored her groans and continued “-most perfect, amazing, gorgeous, sweetest, nicest, kindhearted, thoughtful-”

Cass pulled away; she would not be doing what he asked. Nope. The last time she heard Dick talking like this, Barbara ended up agreeing to dog sit for Titus. The dog chewed everything in the clocktower; they were still finding ripped up socks in various locations. “He’s so well behaved” he said. “It won’t be for that long” he said. “You’re the best thank you so, so much” he said. On the bright side, Dick had bought her new ballet shoes to replace the ones Titus tore through. But they’d taken weeks to break in and-oh he was still talking.

“-smartest, wisest, funniest, loveliest, badass, awesomest, funnest-” Cass placed her hands on her hips and stood up to meet him. The stakeout had been going fine on her own, at this rate she probably didn’t need his backup anyways, so if this was something stupid, she could always tell him to leave. She gave him her best “bat-glare” as he continued to mumble on compliments. “fantastic, reliable, trustworthy-” his voice grew smaller as she continued glaring. He cleared his throat “sister of all time?” He finished.

Cass sighed and leaned back against the tower’s support. “What do you want?” Dick gave her a weak smile, embarrassment radiated off him. That couldn’t be good.

“Look, I’ll cut to the chase.” Thank heavens for that. “But like, just know I love you so much.” Cass wished she could stick her tongue out, maybe the domino mask was the way to go. She settled for lightly shoving his shoulder. He grinned at her, doing his best to seem casual, but slight tension in his neck gave away his discomfort. Dick was always hard for her to read, he was a performer from birth, and had excellent control of his posture and facial expressions. He gave himself away in movement, in the lack thereof. He could paint the perfect mask, but it slipped slightly when he moved. He was nervous, anxious, exasperated, and worried. Cass was intrigued.

“What is it?” She said, more gently than before, turning back to watch her mark. She could hear Dick let out a deep breath.

“It’s Da-Robin. He got invited to a formal.” Cass turned back and cocked her head. “Don’t give me that look, you know how he is.” He said, shifting his weight. “It’s a school event, so they’ve been learning ballroom dance in gym. But I got a call the other day from the gym teacher saying he’s not participating.”

“Why should he?” Cass asked. “You shouldn’t force people to do things they don’t want to do.” Living with the family long enough had taught her that. If the kid didn’t want to dance, he shouldn’t have to.

“Yeah, I know.” Dick replied a bit flatly. He moved to crouch where she had been sitting and focused on the building across the street. “But I don’t know if he doesn’t want to, or if he’s just embarrassed.” Cass thought for a moment. “I don’t suppose he grew up with many dance lessons.” He added a bit apologetically. She shook her head.

“Have you talked to him?” She asked. Dick sighed.

“I tried. But he kept switching topics and when I pressed it, he locked himself in his room. Which is why I’m concerned.” Cass hummed in affirmation. It made sense.

“Why haven’t you tried teaching him?” Dick wasn’t a bad dancer, and he’d always performed quite well at the galas.

He looked back at her sheepishly. “I gave it a go last time I was at the manor. But he stormed off before we could get anything done. Something about me being an embarrassment to the family.”

Cass rolled her eyes under the cowl. “What did you do?”

“I just wanted to do some jazzercising to warm up, what’s wrong with that?” Dick spluttered in response. Cass lightly smacked the back of his head. “So anyways, I lost my chance at it. I can’t even play music without him running away.” He continued, ducking away as she tried to tap him again. “Besides, you’re probably a better height to practice with for him.” She scoffed in response.

“When’s the gala?” She asked. It slipped out without her permission. She wasn’t getting involved. The kid could figure it out on his own. Couldn’t he?

“It’s next weekend.” He replied and sighed. “I don’t want him to miss it. He never does stuff that’s age appropriate.” Oh, no. Not that card. Cass would not be involved, she had work to do. She stepped back to lean against the tower again and bit her lip. “And some girl in his class asked him to go. Her name’s Maps and she’s a really good influence on him.” She crossed her arms tighter. Damian was rude to her. He called her Cain. Not. Getting. Involved. “She’s so energetic, it helps him loosen up-” Damnit.

“Fine.” Dick whipped around to look at her, not bothering to hide his disbelief. She squirmed internally. It wasn’t that she didn’t care about the kid. It was just easier to spend time on her own. The kid was better off without her influence anyways.

“Are you sure, I could ask Steph or I don’t know-” He continued.

She cut him off. “I’ll do it. I don’t mind.” The others wouldn’t work. Dick knew that going into the conversation. They were too…loud in their judgement. Steph would laugh at the wrong time, Tim would say the wrong thing, Jason didn’t have the patience for the kid’s temper, and Duke would be a safe bet, but was away on Outsider business for the next two weeks.

Dick practically melted in relief. “Thank you so-”

“You owe me, big brother.” Cass reminded.

“Anything you want, little sister.” He promised. “Are hugs acceptable as a down payment? I could kiss you right now.”

“Eww.” Cass made a face under the mask but strode forward as he opened his arms and stood for a hug. He eagerly wrapped her in a bear hug. She couldn’t help but laugh.

“You’re winning sister of the year award.” He said as he released her.

“You’re making me cookies.” She retorted. Dick grimaced.

“Can I buy them?” He asked hesitantly. She shook her head.

“Homemade, with love. And I’m watching.” She added, smirking under the mask. Dick sunk back down into position.

“I’ll do my best.” He promised. Cass snickered. The last time Dick tried making cookies, he apparently caught his oven mitts on fire. There was still a bit of cookie dough on the ceiling he hadn’t noticed yet.

A flash of movement jolted her back into reality, their mark was making his move. She shot her grapple, and Dick quickly followed suit. “I’ll text you the plan tomorrow.” He promised as they leapt into the night.

Thanks so much if you read this far, and please comment or send me feedback directly if you have the time and don’t mind. I’m sorry if you completely disagree with how I characterized her (or Dick/Damian for that matter) I’m mostly relying on Damian’s canon interactions with her and Dick’s half canon half fanon personality (I know they don’t get on great in the comics...but sibling dynamics) and the rest of this portion of the fic would focus on Damian earning more respect for her (and learning to call her Cass - not Cain).

[sarenhale]

Can we know more about Xante, Seran, and Cutter??

For sure! I’m happy to hear you’d like to know more about them!!

I’ve already shared some infos here and there on some art of them/answered questions/ text posts, the best way to gather more info on them (as for any other oc of mine) is to check their tags! (type their names in the search bar on my blog)

I tag everything on my blog and try to keep it tidy. 

I shape their backstories as I go, so I’m sorry for any mistakes or if some things don’t add up! Here’s a quick recap on them + some new details

Xante ‘Aster’ Marecar (tag)

Xante is an Altmer, he comes from a wealthy family from Summerset. The Marecar family is dedicated to magic research and commerce. 

Xante has two older sisters, Lùne and Cassandra. Lùne is responsible for the family’s part in commerce, Cassandra is an historian and expert on magic relics, and she’s often away for her researches. 

His mother and father are both trained magicians and work as researchers. 

Having lived a very sheltered and ‘easy’ life, Xante decided one day to leave his home and Summerset to explore the rest of the world and study other cultures. His first stop was Morrowind, home of legends and magic, two things he was very interested in. 

He’s very shy, especially around people he doesn’t know, and prefers the company of books to people’s. He gets easily flustered and intimidated by strangers.

He loves reading books about legends and tales from lands he doesn’t know, and takes interest in studying history, languages, and religion. He keeps a diary, a mix of a personal rambles along with notes and drawings from topic he’s studying.

He’s a skilled magician but prefers to keep a low profile (especially in a land he doesn’t know) and only uses magic when he’s threatened. He favors magic from the Conjuration and Illusion schools, relying on magic mostly to support, shield and hide himself rather than fight. 

He often travels around with his magic familiar, Mai, an artic fox.

The tattoo on his left has a protective glyph enchanted into it. 

‘Cutter’ (Caius) (tag)

Cutter is my Hero of Kvatch, the character that went thru the storyline in TES Oblivion.

Cutter is a Bosmer, he was born in Cyrodiil and an orphan from young age. 

He was raised by a pack a wolves in the forest for some time, until an Imperial priestess named Livia found him and decided to take care of him, and so teach him how to write, read, etc. 

Since the kid had no identiy, the priest gave him a name: Caius. Cutter doesn’t use this name often and just goes for ‘Cutter’ most of the time. 

Cutter grew up in Bruma, but never settled with the rest of the citizens nor felt at home in the town. He was grateful to Livia, but never felt like he belonged. 

It was easy for him to stand out, feel isolated and stared at by the rest of the citizens, especially considering how eccentric and extravagant he always acted. When he was around nineteen, he left the city to venture around Cyrodiil, often finding his way into the woods, that felt like home to him.

It’s around this time that he eventually meets Martin Septim, and his adventure with him begins.  

Cutter’s talk in Common is choppy, he doesn’t use complicated words and hates Imperial names, they’re too difficult and weird to pronounce for him.

He only knows how to write his name, he didn’t have the best education but doesn’t think much of it. He’s very straight forward and doesn’t have any filters, a thing that often puts him in trouble when he’s interacting with people. 

He doesn’t like big crowds of people and avoids big cities if he can, and sticks mostly to small villages or just raw nature, where he feels more comfortable. 

He’s used to being alone and doesn’t mind loneliness.

His manners are rather eccentric, and knowing well how his looks can affect people, he relies on them to spook people or intimitade them for fun. He has a weird sense of humor and likes to spook locals by saying weird shit or making up stories and legends, knowing full well his effect on people.

Nontheless, he’s loyal to his (few) friends and values things like brotherhood, valor, and courage. 

He’s a skilled warrior, more on the barbaric side, and usually fights with two hand axes. His closeness to nature makes him also an excellent hunter and tracker.

Seran (tag)

Seran is a Dunmer, he grew up in Morrowind, in the village of Vos. 

Seran is of modest origins, his father being a farmer and his mother a tailor. 

Since he was little, he tried his best to help his family out, and started working when he was a teen, at first as a laborer/handyman and then, when he was older, he enlisted to be a city guard. 

His impressive fighting abilities and good manners were noticed by a Telvanni diplomat, who requested him as a bodyguard. 

Seran worked with him for years, gaining a certain respect among other guards and fighters, his good presence and manners making him an appreciated figure even among very important diplomats and political figures. 

It was after an incident that almost got him executed, that Seran knew that that life of intrigues and secrets was going to be the death of him- he managed to avoid getting killed, and after creating a new identity for himself for a while, getting into the mercenary life. 

He was a good fight, and knew how to handle though situations and mission. For many years, he lived as an hired sword and travelled around different continents: Cyrodiil, Summerset, and Skyrim, where he almost settled down and started a family.

Seran is a rather sociable and patient person, he likes to talk and listen to people, and enjoys company of all kinds- making him a bit of a womanizer. 

He’s good mannered and well spoken, proof on how hard he trained when he was young to educate himself and evolve from his origins, in the hope of bettering his family situation. He has a soft spot for helping people in trouble, and despite his charm and wits, tends to avoid authorities since the Telvanni incident. He’s not technically still a wanted man, but Seran knows that Telvanni never forget and forgive. 

He usually fights with a double-handed sword, but is also trained to fight with a shortsword and shield. He favors heavy armor, and knows rudimental magic, mostly Destruction spells or Healing spells to aid him in battle.

[ladyloveandjustice]

Shadow of the Batgirl: A review type thing

I just read the graphic novel Shadow of the Batgirl by Sarah Kuhn and Nicole Goux, which reimagines the superhero origin of Cassandra Cain.

It was overall good and EXTREMELY cute! If you want an awesome story about a teenage assassin running away from her shitty dad and finding a neat library, a community of cool ladies and the hero within herself, AND WHY WOULDN’T YOU WANT THAT, definitely get this! 

It’s a standalone Batgirl story completely accessible to all and with none of the weird baggage and the complicated continuity of the regular Batman universe! it’s appropriate for younger teens but still a good read for adults, the art’s colorful and great, it’s packed to the brim with joy and hope.

And on top of all that, it gives a great character who’s been traditionally horribly neglected by mainstream comics for some reason (*cough its because she’s not white cough*) a spotlight and a chance to shine (and get written by an Asian American author for once!)! This also features one of my other faves, who had her disability and adult identity erased in the main universe, but not in this comic, hurray!

SO YEAH, if you like superheroes at all, highly recommend this!

NOW for a more detailed review, calling on all my expertise as a Cassandra Cain superfan and going into pros and cons. This’ll be long, but I’ll do it as a list to break it down.

Let’s start with the good stuff, there’s a lot of it:

- This story takes place in world where Barbara Gordon as Oracle (and former Batgirl) and Cassandra Cain as Batgirl exist, but Batman and The Killing Joke do not appear to. That is honestly transcendentally great to finally see this as an officially realized concept, Batgirl allowed to stand on its own as a legacy of powerful women, with all history of these characters being victimized for the sake of manpain erased. I am elated.

-The art was adorable, the designs were great, the clothes and Cass’s costumes were super cute, the setting was vibrant.

-Jackie was a really fun character and mentor figure for Cass. Loved her snark and how she and Babs basically become Cass’s two Moms and an awesome team in their own right. The relationships in this were just heartwarming. Loved the range of characters in general.

-Cass basically lived in a library aka my life dream. I mean, she did it because she was homeless and on the run from her assassin father, but like.

-Cassandra FINALLY knows her own race, (she’s half-Chinese) and gets to have a goddamn connection and basic feelings about it (Jackie bringing up what the bat means to Chinese culture), etc, god it should not have taken this long for this to happen.

(And it’s really important to have a version of Cass’s story where, y’know, the positive inspirational figures in her life include other Asian people, they aren’t just white people. it wasn’t until I read this it fully dawned on me how screwed up it is she never had that before.)

-For the first time in her entire existence, Cassandra Cain got to be in a canon romance that wasn’t fucking awful, can you believe it. Her love interest Erik was adorable, and him being a budding romance writer was an especially sweet touch- and I think there’s an implication/hint his dad’s the Bronze Tiger? Which is really cute Easter Egg for Cass fans, considering she had a strong friendship with the dude in her original series!

-The idea of Cass liking to draw and expressing herself through art is really fun and fitting. Her being visually focused, it makes a lot of sense.

-Cass extending her body language ability to sort of being able to guess at people’s underlying emotional problems from how they carry themselves is a really neat idea- it could have been implemented a little more smoothly but I like the concept.

-Cass going after the “evil-doers” in the library after becoming a hero was one of the best things I’ve ever seen. Deserves to be framed. I love what a huge nerd Cass got to be in this.

-The comic understood that core of Cass’s character is compassion and empathy, that how she reaches out for people, refuses to harm, and really believes in people and embodies change, rebirth, hope. THAT’S IT, THAT’S MY GIRL, THAT’S MY HERO..

-I’ve read a ton of comics with Barbara Gordon and this is the first one I’ve come across where she discussed her relationship with her mother having any sort of influence on her interests and personality, she isn’t even the main character of this and her mother matters more in it than every other comic I’ve read with her combined how sad is that

-I liked Babs just casually making gadgets and stuff all the time, and loved that she expressed she honestly preferred doing this and that was why she was giving Batgirl to Cass. MADE ME WANT TO SCREAM FUCK YOU DC ALL OVER AGAIN.

-Compared to the original Cass Batgirl comics, this story is obviously more accessible as a standalone, but it’s also just overall more appropriate for a wider range of ages since the darker elements of Cass’s story are way toned down. I was a young teenager when I read Cass’s series and was fine, but there are young teenagers that DON’T want like, graphic onscreen deaths in their comics, so it’s good there’s a lighter Cass story for them. It was just a really sweet, affirming story.

Now for some cons, none of them damning:

The romance was cute, but wish it’d had room to breathe. Ideally, it didn’t need to be happening alongside Cass’s origin, I think it would have been better if it was just hinted at and then was allowed to fully play out as an after-she-became-Batgirl thing, but I can get that Kuhn didn’t know if this would get a sequel and there were probably a lot of good reasons she wanted to include it.

-I think this came from Kuhn being used to writing as a YA author rather than doing comics, but it was weird to read a Cass comic with so much narration and the way it was used really detracted from the potential power of the story. We’re told through Cass’s super chatty narration she’s not a normal teen, she TELLS US that she barely knows how to read and speak and TELLS US she’s better at reading body language-but we never get a sense of this, not even at the beginning, because the story doesn’t trust the reader to take in the visuals without narration, and then she’s able to talk like a normal teen pretty much right off the bat.

 I’m okay with Cass becoming a chatty girl, and her voice in this comic was fun- I know “silent Asian” has a lot baggage and Cass’s original character leaned into some stereotypes- but the first chapter/part would been far more powerful if it had her world be a little more silent and fully emphasized the visual, for her interactions with people and words be garbled and confusing, and if it gave us more of a sense of the world she comes from and how her perception of things differs from the average person. Cass’s original debut and the beginning of her original series did a really good job giving us a sense of this, and took great advantage of comics as a visual medium, and I missed that.

-Cass learns to read and talk SUPER EASILY and it just comes off as unbelievable. I do like the idea of her camping at a library, eavesdropping, and teaching herself, but I would have liked to see her actually struggle like a person would. Moreover, while I know the presentation of it was very flawed, Cass basically had a learning/language disability in the original series. I was kind of hoping this comic would lean into that, and actually give a more realistic and nuanced representation of that kind of disability (it could have been presented as something she always had that was exacerbated by how she was raised, not caused by it!).

 Honestly, I think her romance with Erik would have been far more interesting and meaningful and tied in better if she’d actually struggled to read, maybe even discovered she was dyslexic and couldn’t quite read the same way he could. That could have been a source of development between them.

-David Cain’s a super flat as a character in this comic, he doesn’t have much presence, menacing or otherwise, and Cass’s complicated feelings and relationship with him is not nearly as painful as they were in her original series.This is partly because there wasn’t a lot of a space for it though, and that’s fine.

-Overall, the main thing that hurts the story is that we don’t see all that much of what Cass’s life was like as an assassin, and her life with David Cain was like. It’s harder to invest in Cass’s transformation into a hero when we don’t really have a sense of who she was before,it’s hard to appreciate her breaking free when we can’t get a sense of what kind of cage she was even in. How much language DID she know? How much of the world was she exposed to? What was she really deprived of? I hope if there’s a sequel we can see more of this.

-Babs isn’t the main character of course, so this isn’t a real complaint, but I did miss her cynical and angry edge. She’s pretty much just a chipper nerd with no sign of her own baggage in this, and it makes her relationship with Cass less interesting. It’s implied that her “accident” did affect her and she just managed to work through a lot of it before she met Cass, but I missed the element of their relationship where they both were hurting from losing  “the world they knew” and working through it together, sometimes clashing, etc.

-I read one of Sarah Kuhn’s YA novels in anticipation of this, and while I’m relieved this is better about it than her first book was (I expected it to be, writers improve, I definitely know how messy a first book is) there’s still some cringe-y ideas of how “average” teens talk creeping in, occasional clunky pacing etc.

But all in all? It was a really nice little story that did a lot of cool things, and I really want a sequel and want more of this version of Cass and her universe. As someone who was driven away from DC comics in part because of how badly they treated Cass, Oracle and the Batgirl legacy. it’s really like a salve on old wounds.

[impossible-rat-babies]

For the character thing: Varric and Krem?

Varric!

First impression

“I like his crossbow and he seems like a cocky guy. A jokester too! I like him a lot.”

Impression now

I adore him and the relationship he has with Hawke and how much he cares about them. I just....care a lot about Varric and his role in the events of Thedas and his relationship with all the characters.

Favorite moment

I honestly love meeting him at the beginning of DA2 since it’s a big moment of him being a big badass. Like shooting that guy, taking your money back from him, twirling the crossbow bolt. It’s probably my favorite character interaction.

I also really love the conversation you can have with him where he sounds a lot like a bard. where it’s like: “I like the idea that you can change the world with a story.”

Idea for a story

Hawke romancing Varric. Or just romancing Varric. I would pay to get that romance and to read some good shit having to do with it.

Unpopular opinion

I don’t like his relationship with Bianca

Favorite relationship

Varric and Hawke, hands down. There’s a reason I played DA2 the first time with him always in the party and that is for the sweet sweetness that is their relationship.

Favorite headcanon

I like the idea that the dungeons in DA2 can be kinda repetitive because Varric got tired of describing them/Cassandra just imagines them all the same. I understand the practical and technical reason, but I like that in canon reason for the dungeon maps all looking the same.

--

Krem!

First impression

“Alright where is that trans man I’ve heard so much about I need him stat, lemme love his face right exactly now!” I knew about Krem before playing the game, just like with Dorian, and was instantly wanting to just love him.

Impression now

I adore Krem and his story and how far he’s come and the love and acceptance he has. The Chargers aren't just his co-workers, but his family. He deserves the goddamn world, he does.

Favorite moment

”You still got plenty of ass left, Chief!!”

Idea for a story

He gets to live happily ever after with a nice family and a lot of dogs. So many dogs. all the freaking dogs and acceptance he can get. Tbh, I’ve debated on writing fic with him and Darva getting romantically involved because that would be some good shit.

Unpopular opinion

Idk if its unpopular, but I wish his voice actor was a trans man and not a cisgender woman. I also wish the dialogue options to talk to him weren't so gross at times and that you could be genuine and honestly intrigued about getting to know his feelings about himself without having to be gross and intrusive about his body.

Favorite relationship

I love his relationship with Bull. It’s my favorite little bromance in the game and I could read a whole sort of buddy cop, partners in crime fic series about the two of them.

Favorite headcanon

He made Darva a new binder not long after their arrival at Skyhold since the one he had was very old and worn out. Darva hadn’t the time to go and make a new one for himself, so Krem made him a whole new one with some decorative details on it. When I draw Darva in his binder, it’s usually the one Krem made for him.

--

[SEND ME A CHARACTER]

[starglasszodiac]

SGZ Anniversary - Cassie and the Comic

The big one, the origin story!!!! And honestly one of my favourite memories to look back on. :’D I’ll be talking about both the idea itself and the evolution of Cassie’s character in what is a BEHEMOTH of a text post, so here we go!

While July 19th, 2015 is the official origin day of SGZ, it started a bit prior to that. I have this story already somewhat explained on the blog’s FAQ page, but I might as well reiterate it here:

SGZ started as an idea in the summer of 2015 after my buddy Laura showed me two webcomics: Paranatural by Zack Morrison, and Vibe by Dan Ciurczak (two comics I highly recommend, please go read them!). I loved how vibrant and beautiful their artwork was despite how different their stories were, and how wonderful the writing and humour was. My two biggest creative passions have always been visual art and writing, but ironically this was what really flicked the switch in my head to actually try comics, the literal combination of the two. Why I didn’t start sooner will forever be a mystery to me, but I suppose a lack of exposure to comics as a kid had something to do with it. Better late than never, right?

The specific launch day of July 19th is an homage to not only the creation of the idea but of the main protagonist, Cassie. After thinking “hey, I could do this!” I started wondering what I should make a comic about. While working at my retail job (on the slowest day in existence), I began to make a list of things that I liked or wanted to write a story about, and stars / astrology was one of them. I had always loved that aspect of mythology, and my affection for stars is a mystery to no one.

I worked at what was effectively a Blockbuster clone in my hometown (RIP Cherry Hill Video) and we had scrap pieces of paper that we made from old movie facings, so the first ever notes and doodles for this series exist on these scraps. I’ve still got quite a few of them, but they got a bit scattered when I moved for college. I’m hoping the rest are at my house somewhere.

I got the idea of a girl with a star in her eye, and called it the Starglass. And, well, the idea went from there! I started researching all of the zodiac signs and symbols, and drew the first (digital) drawing of Cassie when I got back home that day. Which, looked like this:

Seeing this again is not only weird and oddly nostalgic but it’s a testament to where my artistic sensibilities were prior to going to animation school. The idea for SGZ happened mere months before I was thrown into that 3-year fray of insanity so the evolution is pretty odd in places, especially how my knowledge of shape language, anatomy, etc. evolved and how my style adapted to that. I had almost NEVER drawn humans prior to going to college, so a lot of the art for this series deals with my inability to do so at the start. ^^’ The awkward phase, if you will. And as such, it is the first story idea I had that primarily focused on humans.

Looking back on it, Cassie’s character in terms of personality was pretty different than what it is now, but from a visual standpoint there’s (surprisingly) a lot that stayed. The basic idea of her hair stayed, right down to the double ponytail and orange clasps. Her freckles, eye colour and general face shape too, even if that ended up modified after solidifying her character later.

Her main colour was always red, in fact after making the headshot I remember having NO IDEA what to do for the rest of her body, so it just ended up being RED. Then I added the blue for the contrast, but I still wasn’t happy with it at the time (a perhaps subconscious origin for her blue pants though, lol). I also find amusement in the fact that my current concept for her mother Nora has her wearing blue flats much like these.

Based on the notes I have and what I remember, Cassie was older at this point (like 15 or 16 probably) and seemed to be a lot more sarcastic (this is a norm for a lot of my characters, trust me). xD Some of the first character interactions I ever wrote largely involved Cassie being sassy to one of the signs, back when a few of them were being over dramatic (looking at you SCORPIO). I cackled reading those interactions again now that my characters have changed so much. They’re not well written at all but they still let me look back to that time with fondness. :’D

What is also interesting is the progression of her name, or the fact that she didn’t have one right at the start. My earliest notes have simply Starglass or SG whenever I wrote dialogue. I started trying to think of a name, and contrary to popular belief, settling on Cassie actually had nothing to do with Cassiopeia. Though I do really enjoy the irony of that. xD It started with Cass, which could be short for either Cassandra or Cassidy, and I ended up going with Cassidy. I then changed it to Cassie, as I find the -ie suffix makes it a lot cuter. I am biased though, my name ends with it too, aha. There is a note that spells it as Cassi and for the life of me I cannot determine if that was a typo or not, but when I write fast I miss letters sometimes. The nickname of “Star” was one the table for a while too, and now that Star VS exists it’s even funnier. I specifically recall my mother telling me that she was going to suggest Star on the Facebook post I had made for the art at the time, but thought maybe it was too obvious. She was right, though this idea lives on in the nicknames that the signs end up giving Cassie later on, my favourite being “Little Star”.

While development for the story and characters started right away, it got a much welcomed jumpstart at the beginning of my second year at animation school. We were given a character design project that would span the entire year, and would require a story concept to complete all of the assignments. We were told this fact in first year to give us time to prepare over the summer, and I had just pulled an all-nighter to finish an assignment that day, but upon hearing this news I was not tired at all. Character design was already my favourite class, but this put it over the top. That beautiful feeling of inspiration that hits you is the BEST and in that moment nothing else mattered. Not even my fatigue, which I promptly dealt with the next day.

I used this as an opportunity to spend time developing the designs and story progression of all the characters, while getting marks for it at the same time! This is largely the reason I was able to launch the comic a few months after completing that year of school, as it ended up giving me full-sized references, colour schemes, and a much better idea of the story as a whole. Based on when my school years took place, I can actually track the progression of the characters pretty well through the artistic skill upgrade I was getting too.

The progression is pretty wild honestly, especially between 2015 and 2016:

(oh god these are so old help me) 

(these aren’t all of them either but I did my best jdhkfhsjkfhskjf)

From 2016 onwards I had the basic idea of her, so her colours stayed more or less the same once I actually added them. Cassie’s hair was one of the things that required a lot more iterations. I had her general idea down for a while, but when it came to making the character pack of her for my character design class, I remember having to sit down and actually figure out how her hair would work, structurally and otherwise, for that High Quality Refinement™ that was required of the project. Her older drawings had the part in her hair be in the middle, and that posed the problem of covering her eyes too much. If she was a more reserved character in any way this could have worked, but nah. I knew from the beginning she was going to be an outwardly eccentric child, one I wish I could have been when I was growing up.

Now for anyone that knows me as both a huge nerd and an artist, when it comes to fantasy stuff I LOVE armour. Absolutely love it. You see it everywhere in the things I make both inside and outside of SGZ, and I adore making themed costumes based on that (see my Feather Knights series for the most extreme example of this ever, ahahaha). So, it stands to reason that I would do the same for Cassie at some point, and I did! 

There was a particular focus on a helmet for a while too, whole plot points in fact! This helmet was, story wise, a long-standing plot point that proved difficult to change once the focus shifted. The initial idea was that the helmet belonged to Cassie’s science teacher (who is still a minor character in this as of now) and he gave it to her knowing its significance to the Starglass, thus establishing a sort of connection between Cassie’s normal life on Earth and the supernatural shenanigans that happen on the Astral Plane. The night she brings it home, she discovers that this little friend laid dormant inside:

This is Flicker. A character I’ve actually never revealed to anyone prior to now but hey, why not? The idea of Cassie having a spirit companion certainly didn’t come out of left field for me, but I wasn’t entirely sure how this character would appear, or what dynamic they would have with Cassie. I didn’t have pets bigger than a hamster growing up, so the idea of Cassie having a potential dog or cat companion would be new territory based on my own experiences. 

Flicker, as they are right now, acts as a sort of sensor for spirits that are roaming loose on Earth, and alerts Cassie to them... even if she’s not always up for a spirit hunt. They do have a backstory associated with how they appear and what their purpose is in the overall context of the world, but that isn’t revealed until much later in the story. For now Flicker is a cute little friend that cannot say much, but is devoted to protecting things, especially the Starglass. Luckily they still made the cut when it came to the helmet idea, and you should be meeting them officially pretty soon in the comic! :D

While the initial problem was getting any sort of cohesive look to the helmet or any other armour in terms of concept, I found as the story developed along with Cassie’s design, both her hair and her star sweater ended up being her two most “iconic” qualities aside from her eye, and using armour would have covered that up. 

On top of that, Cassie didn’t really end up being the type of character that would use armour, as one might expect from a character that has to fight and defend things a lot. She’s one to do things a little differently, and both her and the signs discover that, well, different works! It wasn’t a matter of her physical strength for the majority of the problems she faces, but rather strength of heart, and that’s a very personal note for me to touch on with this character. As such, nothing about an armour concept ever came out of the sketch phase:

It still makes for really interesting ideas though, so I’m sure I can work these into something else I’m working on. :’D Knowing myself, I’ll find a way. (The wings are VERY Cardcaptors though lol)

What did stay, however, were her swords:

She had at least one sword at the very beginning of this concept, but it eventually evolved into two. I find it interesting that sun, moon and star symbols were always present, regardless of what iteration these swords went through. Their official names are the Sun Star and Moon Star Swords respectively. Aside from the few doodles here and there for the zodiac weapons, this was the first appearance of any kind of fantasy weapon in SGZ. I can confirm that Cassie and the signs were going to have weapons from the get-go though, this IS something I made after all. xD

I think I also need to mention the main influences for this series, as the love for those things is very evident in my work, from the visuals to the storytelling and everything in between. Aside from my general interest in fantasy topics such as mythology and astrology, here’s a list including (but not limited to) the series that inspired the making of SGZ:

Kirby, Steven Universe, Harry Potter, Avatar: The Last Airbender & The Legend of Korra, Cardcaptor Sakura / Cardcaptors, Kim Possible, Danny Phantom, and pretty much any other show I’ve watched about surviving school while going on crazy adventures. That stuff may be cliche now but I’ll be damned if I don’t love it still.

I grew up with some of these and the rest are new, but they’re all near and dear to my heart for many reasons. I’m happy that I can put that love into something I’ve made, and share that story with the world. 

I know I’ve got a lot more ranting about this story to do in general and the comic is still going, but I want to say some special thanks to some of SGZ’s biggest supporters: 

Laura, Eleanor, and my classmates and teachers at Seneca College. This comic wouldn’t exist without you. <3

I’ll be honest, working on this series got me through some of the toughest years of my life so far, and this was one of the first times where something I made actually came to fruition in some way, and had a genuine development period that I can look back on. I’ve grown a lot as both a person and an artist since then, and doing this look back in time really solidified that for me. I have a cast of characters that I love, and now I get to tell their story. So if you’ve stayed till the end in this gigantic post, thank you. I don’t know where this story will lead me, but with any luck it’ll be somewhere in the stars. Thanks for reading, friends. <3

[jatamansi-arc]

so, the second time i watched annihilation, i have a lot of feelings about it. like a lot lot. and i’m not sure if anyone else will agree with me, but i’m gonna fucking dump all my notes here so i can come back to them here and see how i feel about them in subsequent viewings.

i really love the movie, though. i liked it the first time, but i loved it this time. so much. definitely one of my favorite movies ever. maybe actually up there with everything is illuminated with being my actual favorite.

spoilers, y’all.

the first time you watch this movie, you walk away blown away, going AAAAaaaaAAaaAHGFJ about it. the second time you watch it? they aren’t kidding when they say everything has double meanings. literally everything does. i think that’s half the reason that makes it so much fun to slowly dissect.

annihilation isn’t a story about depression, though i can see how it’d be read that way very easily. there are tons of elements that would lead you to that conclusion. rather, i’ve come to the conclusion that it’s one about the competition between our tendency for self-destruction and our capacity to forgive. it’s a love story.

the most important thing that annihilation repeatedly touches on, is really playing with philosophical and allegorical extremes and dismantling them. the question of whether something is a scientific proof or a sign of faith is posed to lena several times in the film, and the question is never answered but carefully balanced. and it’s shown time and time and time again, in sweeping scale and in minute details. for example: ventress, the pinnacle of the rational and higher thought, has a name that draws its source from a term meant to show someone’s ability to take brazen risks. she takes her notes when talking to lena with artist grade sketching pencils. ventress’ mask is good, but she is desperate dreamer who wants to see what lies beyond the shimmer before her body takes the chance from her.

all of the main characters’ names, however, were picked very specifically. 

lena: short for helena, which can be taken to mean ‘torch.’ there’s the whole thing about helen of troy eloping and causing the trojan war to bring her home, too. but more importantly, i firmly believe it’s also a play on the hela cell line.

anya: ties to anna, a prophetess of the bible, who preached of redemption and experienced deep loss early in her life.

cass: short for cassandra, another prophetess, but one who was cursed so that her words wouldn’t be heeded until it was too late. she was also connected to troy.

josie: josephine is the feminine form of joseph, and the father of jesus is the patron saint of contentful death, and is almost always displayed surrounded in his field by flowers meant to represent purity and resurrection.

kane: from o catháin, which means war like or battle. 

everyone in kane’s group had a surname that has been shared among three kinds of famous people in every instance: a scientist, a religious scholar, and an author. it was weird enough to note.

area x is in an area that’s remote and has alligators, but the thing that makes it interesting, is that bears and alligators don’t have much overlapping territory. this means if it wasn’t already a giant red fucking flag to begin with, our furry friend is a composite from the shimmer.

the shimmer may be alien or it may be biblical; the reality of it doesn’t much matter. what it does, is take the cells of the dead and dying and recycle them. when ventress talks about how a shark and alligator are clearly intermingling genetically and lena dismisses it, lena isn’t wrong, but lena’s error is that she’s not thinking broadly enough.

cass is the first one to drop the hint, right after we get lena talking about the bruise that she gets with the fight with the alligator. it’s where the tattoo would eventually be later on -- except there is a hitch. cass is also clearly skeptical of this, and it reads easily on her face, before she talks about her daughter dying of leukemia and how she died, emotionally, with her. it’s a hint that lena’s cells immediately begin to mutate once this happened. whatever the shimmer is, it takes hox genes, which are what hold the entirety of our genomes, and is trying to manipulate and recode what it can with what’s available. this isn’t evolution, but a sort of intelligent design with very limited resources and a finite understanding of what it’s doing. it’s creating immortal cell lines, though, and the hints are dropped about five thousand times over.

the man that kane and his crew kill likely had cancer. look at how prolifically his cells were mutating before he died, and his complete lack of reaction while being otherwise vivisected. what’s even more interesting is that ventress, who otherwise never gives a fucking shit about anyone, is visibly shaken for the only time in the movie. she was the one who was in charge of area x. she knew about everyone going in there. it’s much more likely she’d have an investment in knowing what happened to someone else who was ‘self-destructing’ for a similar reason to her.

once she has her answer, it’s straight back to business.

the reason the bear is tragic -- and ultimately horrific -- is because it was spliced together from bits and pieces of dna by a being that has never seen a fucking bear besides the hyperstylized one that was on kane’s chest. it wanted to build what it saw. it was curious. it looks like his tattoo; look at it closer when you get a chance.

it’s furthermore meant to represent kane’s fear. absorbing cass’ voice as its call is only meant to really drive the metaphor home, and to make josie’s decision in the next arc all the more poignant.

the symbolism behind the bear, by the by, is a lot of things. most important is the duality of the male and female. it’s one of the rare animals that represents both sexes. bears also represent a desire for answers and, again, resurrection. 

and when looking for cass, lena sees two deer, who are again another rare animal who represent both sexes and are oftentimes portents of death and a hope for a return to life after that death.

anya’s role in these scenes is important because they’re allegorical. the implication that lena’s and kane’s addiction to their careers is what kept them apart is certainly clear, and it’s not just casual happenstance that anya self-destructs in a house that’s a carbon copy of kane’s and lena’s home. anya’s death is meant to represent breaking the cycle of addiction (even if you’re terrified) and the beginning of the resurrection of kane and lena’s relationship. she was the paramedic, after all.

she’s also meant to stand in for kane here, because her words are meant to be accusatory towards lena, as if it were kane saying them about her cheating. 

“ you don’t get to ask that question, you lying bitch! you get to answer it!”

“what we know now -- what we know, is that lena is a liar.”

^ that one is really fucking important okay

who delivers the death blows against the bear is important. it’s josie. young, doe-eyed and fresh faced josie who is full of life and has dedicated her life to studying the science understanding the interactions between matter. who eventually gives her life over to the entire process, but not before saying something really important to lena:

‘imagine dying in fear. i wouldn’t like that at all.”

THAT’S GONNA BE RELEVANT HERE SHORTLY HANG ON.

by the by: lena finds out her humanity is slowly leaving her at the same table where we see kane time and time again. kane’s self-destruction is external while lena’s is internal, at least at the time. 

josie, anya and lena are not impacted in the same way that kane, vertress and other clearly sick people who have gone into the shimmer are. or, at least, not at the same pace. it makes me have the theory that lena thought kane learned that she was cheating, but kane was perhaps hiding something much worse. there could be a lot said about what guilt does to people, on both sides. they may have both been hiding things. it really twists the whole plot to an interesting angle if the reason kane was sitting, so melancholic and distant, was not because he knew about lena and daniel, but because he was angry and upset at himself for not being able to tell his wife that he may have been seriously ill. it may also be why the clone of him suddenly crashed once it’d been outside, in the real world, as well?

it further tells an interesting tale if you read that dying in the shimmer causes a far faster progression of mutation and, in a sense, almost a sort of dementia. kane may have lost himself entirely over the course of what felt like 10-12 days, knowing very little in the end other than he truly loved lena.

regardless of my theories on it, the shimmer is still literally kane’s feelings of adoration towards lena on display. if you debate me on this point i will fucking fight you.

coming back to allegory: kane’s self-immolation was meant to represent genesis and the big bang. lena’s fight with clone!lena is a battle with what’s meant to be the perils of knowledge (and forgiveness/grief, I think, honestly) and her eventual departure from what’s clearly meant to be a garden of eden metaphor. the phosphorus grenade, the second time around, is meant to be the fruit of knowledge.

it was clone!lena that survived imho, because original!lena didn’t have the tattoo by that point. clone!lena did the instant she was made. and the instant whatever lena did survive made it outside, she pulled down her sleeves.

when she’s being asked questions at the end, she literally mimics clone!kane to perfection. she even drinks the water, with the hint in the glass that two become one via the pooling on the side of the glass. it’s, furthermore, a throwback and lead-in to the next scene, serving as a reminder to the very beginning of the movie when lena talks about how cells reproduce. one becoming two, two becoming four, etc. but as one of my friends said, sometimes two need to become one first. GOOD POINT IT WAS A GOOD POINT.

in the end, it really didn’t matter which lena survived, because lena’s an unreliable narrator and ultimately lying to get exactly what she wants. if they knew the reality, they’d never let them be in a room together. the book talks about biological imperatives a lot and the movie deviates pretty strongly from it, but this was an instance where you definitely get exactly that vibe. this is adam and eve on a whole new, cosmic scale.

when she asks kane if he’s himself and he says no, he returns the favor. lena doesn’t answer the question. kane’s facial expressions are very telling, but i’m not going to tell you what they are if you didn’t see them. then we get the shimmer eyes and it makes me very happy okay.

the amount of fucking times the immortal life of henrietta lacks is referenced in this movie DRIVES ME BATTY but in a good way??

[poweredbycoffeeandwine]

New Friend and Girlish Secrets

Eeeeek! It is late (procrastinate much), but still day one of Friendship February hosted by @lechatrouge673. 

Day One: Make New Friends

Here is a bit of Elina Trevelyan meeting Cassandra for the first time from the Snapshots verse. Hope you enjoy!

Since his return from the vacation she had forced on him, Cullen had been different. Not obviously so, but enough that Cassandra noticed. He had a reputation of being difficult to read, however, she had been his partner for a number of years and he was comfortable around her. Bull joked that she had found the secret decoder ring for the enigma that was Cullen Rutherford. She simply believed they shared similarities that made working together easier.

Cassandra valued his keen mind and quiet disposition. It helped that he was no-nonsense and didn’t waste time with idle chatter. Not even the pushy, local newspaper reporter, Varric, was able to charm case information out of him. She sat at her desk holding her steaming mug of coffee, and continued to observe him.

His brow didn’t crease; those ever present lines of worry seemed to have smoothed away. His broad shoulders didn’t show the tension she was accustomed to. He had remarkable posture to be sure, but he almost appeared to be at rest, and... Maker, was he humming? She was sure she heard the melody of a children’s song murmured under his breath as he worked on arrest reports.

Even more telling were his interactions with the new officer, Jim. Cullen kept his frustration levels in check, and had not raised his voice at him even once in a weeks time. Something had certainly changed, and Cassandra had to know what. “I’ve finished my paperwork,” she supplied, “do you need any help with yours?”

Cullen looked up, half smile on his lips, “No, thank you. I was gone for a week, I didn’t forget how. Besides, I already owe you for working my cases while I was out.”

“You’re sure? I don’t mind.”

“No, really it’s fine.”

She set her mug down casually and walked to his desk. “It’s good to have you back. Jim is an… inadequate replacement.”

He laughed heartily, color blossoming in his cheeks, “Oh, Cassandra, I am shocked he is still breathing given your temper.”

“Temper! I do not have a…” she halted realizing he had baited her, and stared at him. He was joking now? What had happened on his vacation? She began again slowly, “Perhaps the boy is trying, but really his death by my hand is extreme.”

“Of course,” he smirked and continued with his work.

“So, what did you do during your leave? I hope you left your house from time to time.”

“I did,” he replied pen scratching busily, “we took walks, and even made it up the Frostbacks one morning.”

“You went up alone? This time of year?”

“Oh no, boss,” Bull spoke up from a nearby desk, looking calculating and smug, “he wasn’t alone.” At that, Cullen started and glared at Bull pointedly, “I took Atticus. He counts.”

“Sure, Atticus is the reason you are blushing like a chantry choir boy.”

“I am doing no such thing. I need to make copies, please excuse me.” Cullen glared at Bull as he passed, while Bull merely laughed and watched him leave.

She returned to her desk and considered what she had just witnessed. She knew Cullen didn’t date. In all the time that she had known him he had never even spoken of a relationship. Could this new Cullen be a result of that? Surely it was too simple a conclusion to draw. She considered asking Bull, but the way Cullen reacted, she wouldn’t want him to return to her prying. She would wait it out, he would come to her when he was ready.

“Excuse me, Detective Pentagast?”

Officer Lace Harding stood in front of her desk, an amused look on her face. “Yes, Harding, what can I do for you?”

“Detective Rutherford has a visitor. Have you seen him?”

She shot out of her chair, eyes darting toward the front office, “Who is it?”

“Civilian, says her name is Elina. She brought a box of donuts.”

Cassandra scoffed, “Ridiculous. Let me talk to her. Stall Cullen for me.” “Bring me a pink frosted donut with sprinkles, and you’ve got a deal.”

With a groan, Cassandra nodded her head, “You’re doing nothing to fight the stereotype.”

Harding shrugged, “The pink ones are the best.”

Elina patiently waited at the counter. The Haven Police Department was cleaner than she expected. It probably didn’t help that the only experience she had with them were noir detective movies. Offices filled with smoke, men in suspenders, rolled up sleeves, and mobsters spouting angry expletives and ending sentences with “bada bing” and “see.” She laughed at the picture she was painting herself, and hoped Cullen wouldn’t be offended by the donuts. They discussed cop cliches, once he told her what he did, and she couldn’t pass up the opportunity to bring them by.

“Can I help you?”

Elina was not surprised that the woman with a thick Nevarran accent came to see her. She had read between the lines when Cullen spoke of his partner, Cassandra. She was just a beautiful as she imagined, and if her instincts were correct, she would be very protective of the man she trusted with her life on a daily basis. “Yes, please. I was hoping to speak to Detective Rutherford. I’m Elina Trevelyan.” She stuck her hand out, and held her breath hoping the striking woman would take it.

With an appraising look, Cassandra shook her hand, firm but not painful, a woman confident in her abilities and spoke, “Cullen is out on an errand. However, we are to meet for lunch, would you care to join us?” She glanced at the box of donuts and barely hid a sneer.

Elina looked embarrassed for a moment, recovered quickly, and replied, “I wouldn’t want to impose.”

“Not to worry, I am sure Cullen would be all too happy to have you accompany us.”

“Alright, if you’re sure. Would you like to keep these?” she asked shaking the assorted donuts and danishes at her. “I meant them as a joke, but I also don’t want them to go to waste.”

“Certainly, I’ll drop them on his desk. Give me a moment to grab my coat.”

Cassandra returned to her desk, grabbed her coat, and passed the bakery box to Officer Harding. “There are three pink ones, give me a 20 minute head start, then inform Cullen that I’ve taken his mysterious Elina to The Singing Maiden.”

“Consider it done.”

The woman was charming, smiled frequently, and her witty mind made for intriguing conversation. She hadn’t backed down from prying questions, and politely steered conversations away from areas she didn’t want to speak of. She could see why Cullen was attracted to her.

Elina sipped at her strawberry lemonade, arched a brow, and smiled sweetly at Cassandra, “I’ve answered a great many questions about myself, do you mind if I ask my own?”

She wasn’t astonished to be found out, not really, she hadn’t attempted to hide her questions in banter, it had seemed rather like an interrogation than a lunch between friends or even acquaintances. “Of course. You’ve been more than accommodating, and I apologize for the subterfuge. What would you care to know?”

“Does this happen often?

“You mean, do I grill women interested in my partner over lunch without telling him? No.” Cassandra smiled over the rim of her water with lemon, and continued, “Truthfully, there haven’t been many, and Cullen is more like a brother than a partner. I worry.”

“Thank you for your honesty. I have to admit, I am a little worried myself. I haven’t considered becoming involved in a relationship for a very long time, but I can’t seem to keep a level head around him.”

“Believe me, he may not be aware, but not many women are capable of being coherent in his presence. You should see some of the witnesses leaving statements with him, stuttering and stammering. It’s quite a feat that we solve any cases he initiates. Even some of the lawbreakers are enamored of him. Though, those women tend to be a bit more… deliberate in their attempts to catch his attention.”

“I can imagine, quite well in fact.” Elina chortled with the mad glee of a cartoon villain.

“Well, speak of the devil.” Cassandra took in a ruffled and nervous looking Cullen. His face was flushed red, and he looked from woman to woman, eyes frantic and wild looking.

“I’m sorry I’m late. I guess I forgot about our lunch plans.”

“Don’t worry, Cullen. I really must get back to work.” She gave Cullen a pat on the arm, and smiled at Elina, “It was lovely meeting you Miss Trevelyan, and I hope to see you again, but maybe next time you can spring for brownies? Detectives have a more refined palate than beat cops.”

“A woman after my own heart then. I would love to get lunch with you again. Or perhaps you would like to join me at my weekly ladies night? It’s only my friend Sera and her wife, so I often feel like a third wheel. Though they do their best to remember I’m there.”

“I’d like that,”

Cullen watched his partner as she walked away, then slumped into the empty chair at the table. “Are you ok? Cassandra can be a bit…” his hand gestured at the air.

“Really, it was sweet. She cares for you, you know?”

“I do. She didn’t scare you off, I was rather hoping I would have more time to do that myself.”

“No, I imagine she was on her best behavior. If anything, her plan worked in your favor.”

“Oh, why is that?”

She leaned in, pouted ever so slightly, and batted her full lashes, “Really now, do you expect me to betray my new friend and our girlish secrets?”

“I would never! Keep your secrets, then.” Right at that moment the waitress arrived with two lunch orders, Cullen looked down to see that his partner had ordered his regular meal. “Oh, she is good.” He smiled at his luck, he didn’t need the approval of his best friend, but it was nice to have, and fortunately it seemed Elina and Cassandra had hit it off without his interference.

“She is that. I don’t know why people commit crime in Haven... she is terrifying. Still, I really hope I have the opportunity to get to know her better.”

“I’m sure you will,” Cullen replied, voice soft as he reached across the table to hold her hand in his.

[yourladybrie]

Character solidifying asks for Layla and Hard Mode asks for Lumley!

Alright! Here we go! Very Long Posts

Layla! 

1. How does your character think of their father? What do they hate and love about him? What influence - literal or imagined - did the father have?

Her Voice: My Father? I don’t have a father. I only have mother and sisters to guide me.

2. Their mother? How do they think of her? What do they hate? Love? What influence - literal or imagined - did the mother have?

She thinks of her mother (being the goddess Shar) with nothing but love until recently. She believed that the Lady of Loss (Shar) should be able to comfort her through this loss, but she hasn’t heard anything. Maybe she messed up their relationship by letting the only she loved died, or in her mind, killing that person. Her mother is her whole life, the influence she has over Layla is vast. 

3. Brothers, sisters? Who do they like? Why? What do they despise about their siblings?

She has 5 Coven Sisters. She really loves everyone at the Coven and all their flaws. She is afraid of Linda, but she could never despise anything about her. 

4. What type of discipline was your character subjected to at home? Strict? Lenient?

She had a balanced discipline. She was punished when she did something wrong by some of the sisters and comforted by others. They were fair in their judgements of her misdeeds.

5. Were they overprotected as a child? Sheltered?

In a sense. They saw the abuse of women and children, however they never saw it first hand. She saw and comforted the people after the incidents and learned that way. However the sisters made sure they handled the bigger cases. The only time she witnessed something first hand was the night in the alley. She witnessed a man hit a woman and tried to stand up to him. It did not end well for Layla. Linda made sure to make that man suffer before death. 

6. Did they feel rejection or affection as a child?

Only the strongest affection. 

7. What was the economic status of their family?

They survived well enough.

8. How does your character feel about religion?

Religion is the one of the centers of her life. She will fight to the death about it.

9. What about political beliefs?

She has no opinion. She lived in a lawless part of town, where justice was taken by the people. 

10. Is your character street-smart, book-smart, intelligent, intellectual, slow-witted?

She is book-smart, but I don’t play her very well in the intelligence factor. She is strong in both wisdom and intelligence. 

11. How do they see themselves: as smart, as intelligent, uneducated?

She sees herself as a Moron currently. 

12. How does their education and intelligence – or lack thereof - reflect in their speech pattern, vocabulary, and pronunciations?

Her education was speech orientated, since that was the primary mode of comfort for the people that came to the coven for assistance. She has a 19 in Charisma. 

13. Did they like school? Teachers? Schoolmates?

She loved school! Her teachers were her sisters! She didn’t have to deal with any schoolmates (even if children stayed in the coven, they wouldn’t be around all the time). 

14. Were they involved at school? Sports? Clubs? Debate? Were they unconnected?

Anything the Coven did Layla did. 

15. Did they graduate? High-School? College? Do they have a PHD? A GED?

She was homeschooled, so I guess graduation was going on a sea journey for the first time. After all, she was thrown into the real world to deal with the crashing down of her reality. 

16. What does your character do for a living? How do they see their profession? What do they like about it? Dislike?

Layla is a child therapist by trade. They love their profession and wouldn’t trade it for the world. They like being able to help the smallest of beings so in turn they can grow up and help others. She doesn’t like seeing the pain in a child’s eyes when they come in. She knows that she will not be able to get rid of it right away, but she can begin the process to help them recover. 

17. Did they travel? Where? Why? When?

They are traveling now! They are currently in Syvae Crescent. The reason was because she joined a pirate crew in search of her SO, Kellan, and they ended up in this mysterious island cluster. 

18. What did they find abroad, and what did they remember?

They found Kellan. They rather not remember anything. 

19. What were your character’s deepest disillusions? In life? What are they now?

She didn’t really have deep disillusions in her past. Everything was point blank to her; evil exists in every person, not even the gods can stop it. Currently her deepest disillusion is the power of her god. If her god can’t reach her and give her comfort and support than everything she preached was wrong. (But again, maybe the god is anger with her. She needs something, anything! Her feelings are complicated right now).

20. What were the most deeply impressive political or social, national or international, events that they experienced?

She has experienced so little in their coven. But the biggest moment was the ship landing at the Port from a different continent. This ship brought new knowledge, new hope, new possibilities, and new love. But now, all that is gone.  

21. What are your character’s manners like? What is their type of hero? Whom do they hate?

If she is in a certain setting, she can be very polite. Her type of hero was Cassandra and Pamela. They have such faith in their god and its completely unwavering. She hates the Elders. 

22. Who are their friends? Lovers? ‘Type’ or ‘ideal’ partner?

Her friends consist of: The Coven Sisters, Kellan, Cassius, Drift, Xanthe, Bufo, Lulu, Christian Anderson, Seithr, and Chant. Nickels is kind of her friend?? Her lover was Kellan. Her type of partner was someone with life in their eyes and courage in their hearts. She loved the person who was excitable over finding small things and drawing maps. She loved how they would love her, even when they knew what she truly looked like. 

23. What do they want from a partner? What do they think and feel of sex?

Layla wants a partner that loves her as much as she loves them. She wants a partner who will accept the Sisters as family, but will not waver from their set beliefs. Layla loves sex and sees it a good way to bond with their partner.

24. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually?

She attends prayer sessions with the sisters. Layla is usually the child in the room, so that is the role they are given to play when with the sisters. She plays that role and watches the proceedings. If she interacts with Kellan’s group, she is open and a bit rambunctious. She plays the role of the lover to Kellan.  

25. What are their hobbies and interests?

Her hobby back at the coven was to write love letters and do chores. She truthfully didn’t have many hobbies. When Kellan was around, it was helping them draw maps and having dates. 

26. What does your character’s home look like? Personal taste? Clothing? Hair? Appearance?

Our home consists of two floors: the first floor is many rooms separated by beaded hanging dividers. The center door consists of a shrine to the goddess Shar (complete with a wooden statue of the goddess). The second floor is a small attic that has a bunch of hammocks for the sisters. They have all their personal belongings up there. Everything is black and dark purple except the light colored wood of the building. Layla wears a black outfit (black plants and shirt; a black dress if needed) with a purple cape and belt. She has black hair and black eyes. Her skin is tan almost matching the wooden statue of Shar seen at the temple. Her Changeling Form is all white with white eyes and pale gray hair. In her moment of weakness, she changed her look in order to make sure she looked nothing like her goddess. Her skin is the same color, but her eyes are blue and her hair is an auburn read. 

27. How do they relate to their appearance? How do they wear their clothing? Style? Quality?

Her appearance means everything to her. She does not want to be the white monster that she was born biologically looking like. She believes that her appearance is her true self. They wear their clothing as it was intended. Her style is mostly conservative and the fabric quality is good.  

28. Who is your character’s mate? How do they relate to him or her? How did they make their choice?

It was Kellan. She related to them by the desire of knowledge. They shared the drive for adventures and the drive to complete their goals. When she first saw them appear on the ship and walk around the Port, she knew that she fell head over heals in love with them. When she finally got to dating them, Layla heart was completely and utterly theirs. She would have married them if they were still alive. 

29. What is your character’s weaknesses? Hubris? Pride? Controlling?

Her weakness is her utter devotion to her god. She will fight anyone who says they are not relevant or evil. She also has a one-track mind in goal orientation; when she puts her mind to something she will do it right away to the derailment of everything else. 

30. Are they holding on to something in the past? Can he or she forgive?

She is holding onto the day that Linda murdered a man in front of her. Of course, she forgave Linda, but she is still frightened. She is also holding on to the fact that she murdered Kellan. She will never forgive herself for being so stupid. She will never forgive herself, she can’t. 

31. Does your character have children? How do they feel about their parental role? About the children? How do the children relate?

She does not have children. 

32. How does your character react to stress situations? Defensively? Aggressively? Evasively?

It depends on the situation. She acts aggressively if it about religion or something along those lines. In normal stress situations, she is usually panicked and makes impulsive choices. 

33. Do they drink? Take drugs? What about their health? 

She does not do anything like that. She is underweight, but she is pretty healthy otherwise!

34. Does your character feel self-righteous? Revengeful? Contemptuous?

Revengeful has become a new thing for her. Self-righteous, totally. 

35. Do they always rationalize errors? How do they accept disasters and failures?

She is working that out right now! She is not doing so well. Honestly, after this failure, she is working on getting Kellan back. She doesn’t care is she has to make a deal with a demon god in order to do it or go to Hell herself, but she will do it. (She has a temple to get back to, so she will come to this rationalization later, but right now, she is not taking it well. She wants to protect her temple, but still feels she can pull a successful Orpheus and still be able to help her temple). 

36. Do they like to suffer? Like to see other people suffering?

NO. 

37. How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories?

Her imagination is unlimited. She loves to daydream. Her favorite daydream is meeting her goddess across the sea. She isn’t worried at all and she doesn’t live in the memories (except now). 

38. Are they basically negative when facing new things? Suspicious? Hostile? Scared? Enthusiastic?

She is scared and enthusiastic when dealing with new things. She likes to experience them for what they are, but she is terrified that these new things could hurt someone else. 

39. What do they like to ridicule? What do they find stupid?

She don’t like to ridicule anything. She find it stupid that people can assume her goddess is evil, when its clear she isn’t. 

40. How is their sense of humor? Do they have one?

I like to think she has a sense of humor. She laughs at jokes, but I think she is very bad at telling them. 

41. Is your character aware of who they are? Strengths? Weaknesses? Idiosyncrasies? Capable of self-irony?

She is very aware of who is she. She just had that shaken to the core. Her strengths, she has none and she has many weaknesses. Her strength was her god and the people who supported her. She has none of those now and even killed one of them. Her weakness is being alone, scared, helpless, and a horrible monster that she can’t stand to look at. 

42. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain?

She wants to get Kellan back. She will do anything to get Kellan back. She wants her temple to be safe. She is willing to sacrifice herself, but nothing more. She can’t give up her temple and she can’t give up her sisters. 

43. Does your character have any secrets? If so, are they holding them back?

The only secret is that she is a changeling. The whole party knows this secret, so its not holding her back here. However, in her past, this secret was the reason she didn’t get into relationships. She saw herself as a monster and so did the people at the Port. Even the Sisters didn’t let her go outside while in her white form. 

44. How badly do they want to obtain their life objectives? How do they pursue them?

Very badly. They pursue them to the derailment of everything else in her their life. 

45. Is your character pragmatic? Think first? Responsible? All action? A visionary? Passionate? Quixotic?

Impulsive as heck. She is all action and passionate. 

46. Is your character tall? Short? What about size? Weight? Posture? How do they feel about their physical body?

She is tall (5′ 9″)! She is underweight (120lbs) for her size. She has good posture. She feel good about their physical body in the Layla form, but not so much in the Changeling form. 

47. Do they want to project an image of a younger, older, more important person? Does they want to be visible or invisible?

Currently her human form projects her as 25 when she really is 20. She wants to appear older, but realistically she still acts like a reckless 20 year old. She wants to be visible!

48. How are your character’s gestures? Vigorous? Weak? Controlled? Compulsive? Energetic? Sluggish?

Her gestures are energetic and compulsive. 

49. What about voice? Pitch? Strength? Tempo and rhythm of speech? Pronunciation? Accent?

Oh I never thought about OC voices. They are usually my own voice. However I think Layla reminds me of lower pitch me. She almost has an Esmeralda voice. I stumble with pronunciation, but Layla would not (she has super good charisma).

50. What are the prevailing facial expressions? Sour? Cheerful? Dominating?

She always smiles! (not anymore). 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lumley (I am going to try answering in her voice for fun)

Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

I have one sibling that I know of! Tenzin is my older brother. I am the closest to him (he is the only one I know, but he is a good guy).

What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

Hahaaa. Can we not talk about this? I don’t want to talk about this. Though Tenzin said it would be good to work out my issues with mother. Our relationship is very tense right now. She was never part of my life because my birth was the cause of trauma. When she finally got her life together, she claimed I was too much of Sentil’s daughter for her to come into my life. But I don’t understand! She couldn’t have visited once. 

What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

Sentil is my adopted father. We have had a great relationship, however my struggles seem to have gotten to him recently. I am worried I ruined our bond forever. Sentil is a worthy parent, but I am an unworthy daughter. 

Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

I don’t think I haven’t told the group anything that they don’t know. I have witnessed my sanctuary that is helping me resolved my inner turmoil, but that is about it. 

On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

Let’s see here. Mostly, berries, money. If you include back pack then its clothes and my ocarina, along with typical adventurer stuff. 

Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

My recurring dreams involve someone wrapping their arms around me and hugging me close. It feels like a parental figure. 

Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

My nightmares recurring are the ones where I am left alone in a dark place, facing something unknown. This hasn’t happened recently. 

Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

(Not a gun, since this is medieval.) I have shot an arrow from a bow and my first target was a snake. 

Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

Nope! I feel the same!

Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

Depends on the weather. If its cold, I have to bundle up in order to survive and if its warm then less clothes make it so I don’t overheat. Either way I usually stick to my poncho (short kind of caplet thing), my shirt, and my capris. 

In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

The situation on the Tree in the Capitol. It was horrifying. I have never been so high up in the branches of this enormous tree. I have never faced a human opponent. My fear lead me to miss every shot I took with my bow and my best friend to get hurt. I couldn’t protect Emil and he could have died. I will never risk that again. 

In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

The explosion of the castle. It was cool, but like everyone made it out okay. 

Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

I am not bothered in the slightest. 

Does your character remember names or faces easier?

I remember faces either. Names can be easily faked and could just be a lie that a person is telling. A person’s face unless by magic or some really good disguises can’t be forgotten as easily. 

Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

Does it count if I say my mother’s bow as a material possession? I want to make sure I get all the hands of Hoth so I can see my mother again. But other than that, I don’t care about either of those things. 

Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

I idealize happiness the most. If you can’t be happy, you can’t succeed. 

What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

Sentil would say it was anything I was not allowed to touch. I couldn’t agree more. I used to fidget with everything in the shop. My favorite thing is the little wind up things Sentil would make in free time. I usually broke them though (sorry about that Sentil). 

Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

I would be more likely to admire wisdom. I see ambition in almost everyone in my party, but I don’t admire them for it. Their ambitions are sometimes dark and all consuming. 

What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

Oh! My biggest flaw is that I could be a bit clingy. I have worked with Tenzin and I understand that I do have a really bad habit of getting attached completely. I am trying to work it out! I hope it hasn’t destroyed relationships. 

In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

Compare myself to others? I don’t think I do that at all. We are each very different. 

If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

Hmmmm. I usually blame myself, however I have blamed someone else for problems most recently. Currently, Alduri has become the scapegoat to all my problems. I need to work on this. I don’t want her to be this. 

What does your character like in other people?

Honesty. You gotta be honest with me. 

What does your character dislike in other people?

I dislike blind faith in something. You have to rationalize it before you can leap in. 

How quick is your character to trust someone else?

I have trusted everyone in my party pretty quickly about the secrets I have. If Emil can trust them, so can I. But people like The Stranger and other gods are not to be trusted at all (except Peitho, he is super chill and awesome). 

How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

I say I suspect people within reason. But even I can see that my views are influenced by my emotional connection to people (for instance, Emil).

How does your character behave around children?

Like a normal person? Children are not mystery creatures, we don’t have to act differently around them. 

How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

“Can we think rationally about the situation happening here?” is usually my first response. However, in the heat of certain moments, I do fight confrontation head on. 

How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

Depends on the situation. If they aren’t violent to me, I am not violent to them. I act in accordance to their actions and their words. With Gods, it is different. I usually have a bow drawn around them since I don’t trust them (especially Aengus) unless they prove themselves differently. 

What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

I dreamed that I could master the white bow in Sentil’s display case. I have the bow in my hands, but it all seems useless now. I still want that dream, but that dream comes with a lot of pain. 

What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

I don’t think I have been repulsed by again. I suppose I could list something I don’t like instead. This would be the Blurrs (nasty creatures that eat any food, even while its in your hands!)

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

Sitting in the shop with Sentil working the register. I miss this moment the most. 

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

I guess meeting my family would be the most uncomfortable situation I can imagine. But Tenzin was chill, maybe it will be awesome. I doubt it; I am scared about it. 

In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

I have a lot to work on. I can see that. I am hoping my meetings with Tenzin will help me resolve my issues, but even then I know that I have to want this change and help bring it into existence. 

Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

(She has tried to restring her bow in so many situations, but she knows it doesn’t work. She still tries). It depends on the situation. If I think I can use the same solution, I will. I will change based on the needs of the situation. 

How does your character behave around people they like?

Rambling, panicked, emotional. Maybe I shouldn’t be this way around people. Maybe it would help me become more respected in the group, rather than the one who is used all the time. 

How does your character behave around people they dislike?

Sassy remarks mostly. I state the obvious in very curt manners and I don’t care if you are a god to be respected or not. You will hear my voice and it will be too the point. 

Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

Defending my honor. I don’t have a status to speak of. 

Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

I made friends with Ko, who is probably the most problematic. But I want to say I get rid of the problem rather than remove myself.

Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

I have! I got bite by various snakes and other lizards in the desert. I was lucky that none of them were super harmful. There was that one time where Sentil had to take care of me because of a bite from a roaming pet who saw me as food. I think that is why he gave me an energy stone with Cure Wounds on it. 

How does your character treat people in service jobs?

Very well I would say. I give the people I see spiced bread whenever I go into their stores. I want to liven up their days, not make it worse.

Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

I have to earn my place. This is the natural order of things. Nothing is given to anyone and if it is, they have to earn the position that has been given. 

Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

Sentil! He isn’t related to me, but he is pretty much the only parent I care about currently!

Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

Dependent as I am dependent on them or are they dependent on me? Well I was depending on Emil for attachment, but now it seems I am trying to move on past that. 

How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

Its very hard. I think I only said it to Sentil before. I want to be able to say it to my brother and to my best friend, since that is how I feel. I haven’t found the time to tell them. I should probably tell people I love them more than I do. It would have probably made Sentil feel better. 

What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

My goal after death is to be become a regalia to Tenzin or Hoth. I want to be able to spend time with the family I never knew. However, I would wish to spend some of that time with the people who raised me. I also fear that those people will forget me. I don’t want to be forgotten. So I would have to say my belief after death is that I will be turned into a soul and sent to some form of afterlife. There I will meet Aengus, give my interview and move on. I will wait on that border for those who are my friends and family. This belief scares me, because what if they never come? 

[renaroo]

Promises (9/30)

Disclaimer: Batman and associated characters are the creative property of DC Comics. Warnings: One Year Later/Evil Cass allusions Rating: T Synopsis: For an entire year after the Crisis which threatened to wipe everything they knew and loved off the Earth, after so many hardships and loved ones lost, Cass and Tim find themselves battling on different sides of the globe not only for the fate of what’s left of the world, but for the sake of once again feeling purpose. [A One Year Later fixer upper]

A/N: Once again I’m apologizing for a long wait and thanking you all for the support and patience! We’ve got a Tim chapter but I think everyone’s in for a surprise with the directions it will go ;  ) 

Special thanks to @gordon88, @mitchthebat, @secretlystephaniebrown,  @chimaerakitten, @the-gible-squad and Kiyomisa on tumblr, ffnet, and AO3 for the feedback and support!

The Desert of Fools

At some point in his life, Tim had stopped asking what his destination was when he got on airplanes with certain people. He accepted his ticket, got on the WE private jet, followed Bruce and Dick down the halls of international airports, and took his ticket for the next connecting flight as they got on smaller and smaller passenger planes.

He only read what their next point was when he got the ticket in his hands.

When he was younger and he still lived in a world where Jack and Janet were Dad and Mom still, the idea of how they could go weeks or even months without stopping their travels, even if it was for work, was utterly baffling to Tim. He was young, and he could not imagine wanting so badly to be away from home and from Gotham that he wouldn’t even register how long it had been since he saw his family.

A part of him, leaning against the smallest passenger plane’s window, looking out into the night sky, couldn’t help but wonder whether it was a good thing or a bad thing that he felt closer to his parents in death than he ever had in life.

He wasn’t paying attention when Dick’s elbow nudged his arm, drawing Tim’s attention from the window at last and instead to the magazine that Dick was holding up to Tim’s face. It was such an unexpected interaction that Tim could only blink a few times at his mentor and brother.

“You look like you could use some reading to put you to sleep,” Dick explained, handing the magazine over.

“Reading doesn’t make me sleepy,” Tim informed him, looking to the page Dick had left the magazine turned to all the same. He paused and looked suspiciously at the former Boy Wonder. “Why do you want me to see an advertisement from Lex Corp that they’re artificially giving people super powers?” he asked.

“Is that the page I left it on?” Dick hummed, leaning back and closing his eyes. “Hm, dunno. Quite a mystery to keep us preoccupied with, though, isn’t it?”

“It’ll end in disaster, what’s the mystery about it?” Tim asked, eyebrow raised as he looked the page over. “Everything Lex Luthor touches is warped and doomed.”

That got a laugh out of Dick, though he didn’t open his eyes.

Tim was filled with relief that the other vigilante hadn’t looked at him, else he might have seen the full body flinch Tim said after the words left his mouth. Everything he touches is warped and doomed.

For the first time in his life, Tim felt like he had something in common with the world’s greatest criminal mastermind.

The last place in the world they probably should have been was Morocco. There were tensions heating up around Biyala and Black Adam had taken over Khandaq as well as made a family to match Captain Marvel’s. And that was just what Tim could gleam from his broken broken French and the headlines on a magazine stand.

“Has Bruce said why we’re here yet?” Tim asked Dick without really turning away from the newspapers. “He’s not really the type for spontaneity. Usually.”

Everything about the trip, about the location, about them was obscenely off and Tim didn’t know how he felt about any of it. In truth, he probably should have felt a touch worse about the circumstances.

Should have. Would have.

Cassandra had been left alone with Alfred in Gotham, and really not given a proper reasoning for it. Yet Tim continued to feel the twist and turns of his stomach wishing desperately why couldn’t that have been him.

He heard a noise like something ruffling from a nearby stand and he turned enough to see a floor-to-ceiling high bird cage made of wood, filled to the brim with exotic birds, all clamoring and fighting each other.

There were too many of them.

He focused on the red breasted bird with black wings and knew, somewhere deep down, that the answer as to why it was Cassandra in Gotham and not him was because if he was alone, if they let him be, he could go back.

He was at the point where it was still a possibility. Without Kon without Steph without his father or anyone else in the entire damn world, the question became a matter of when he would quit and not would.

Tim, the boy who asked to be Robin, who begged to be Robin, to bring his hero from the brink of the darkness he had sunk into over the desert fields that were only part of a continent away from them right there and then. And he couldn’t remember why he would put on the cape without Batman’s urgings.

The joy was gone. Tim’s joy was gone.

And he couldn’t understand how anyone else around him could still have their own.

After a few long moments of waiting for an answer that didn’t come, Tim turned around finally and looked for Dick and his signature blue cast and arm sling. Dick was also looking at something — or, rather, someone. That someone being Bruce on the other side of the market. Tim walked up to Dick’s side and looked at him for a moment before tilting his head and squinting. “Did you hear me?”

“Hm?” Dick asked, looking down to Tim. “Sorry, Li’l Bro. I was just… well, looking out for Bruce. He’s off his game.”

Leveling an even glare at Dick, Tim waited for the irony to watch up with him. It never did and he sighed, crossing his arms. “Really? Hadn’t noticed…”

“Really?” Dick asked back. When he finally looked directly at Tim, Dick furrowed his brows and looked rather displeased.

The concentration on him made Tim feel a weird itch through his body and he rubbed at his neck awkwardly. “What?”

“Are you feeling okay?” Dick asked seriously. “You’re not acting yourself either. And… I guess the funeral wasn’t that long ago and…”

Before Tim could filter his own mouth he glanced back to the newspaper stand. “Which funeral?”

There was a heavy silence for a moment then Tim looked back to Dick, regretting his gruff commentary.

“Tim…” Dick said, voice haunted with concern.

“Please. Just… Can we please not do this right here right now?” Tim all but begged.

“Do what?” Dick asked critically. “Tell you I”m worried? Tell you I’m—“

“Yes. This. Whatever this is,” Tim snapped back.

“When then?” Dick asked. “You were a complete shut in back in Gotham, you ignored Bruce and me on the flights.”

“Dick,” Tim began in exasperation, running his hands down the sides of his face. “I cannot begin to express how much this can’t happen right now.”

“That’s the problem, you can’t express. You can’t express anything,” Dick retorted, waggling a finger in his face.

“You’re making a scene,” Tim fought back.

“Someone has to,” Dick snapped.

“Then go try to make Bruce express himself,” Tim growled.

Dick shook his head. “Sorry, but I’m well aware of lost causes, believe it or not. I’ve been working on cracking that nut for the last, what, almost twenty years now? I make progress with Bruce. You? You I’m making preventive measures.”

“Yeah, those would have been helpful before this last year,” Tim responded coldly.

He immediately regretted the words as they escaped his mouth, but at the same time, the flicker of guilt and plain hurt that shone in Dick’s eyes for a moment when he heard that response almost made Tim want to savor it all.

They stood together awkwardly, looking at each other with a loss for how the conversation could possibly continue when they were saved by the most unexpected of things.

Bruce.

“Dick,” Bruce called in his very Broosiest voice, carrying it over the crowds in the bizarre. He even gave a dramatic arm wave as if they weren’t all incredibly aware of each other’s positions at all times. “Come over here and tell me what you think of this rug! I think it’s authentic!”

“What the hell?” Tim asked, squinting his eyes. “That’s… weird.”

“Very,” Dick agreed. “Stand around here a bit, there must be a reason he wants us canvased.”

“Sure,” Tim replied as Dick walked away. There was some disappointment in Tim’s chest, realizing they weren’t going to come anywhere close to finishing that conversation — that whatever genuine emoting Dick was giving him in that moment could drop the second Bruce needed something even it was a nut he’d been trying to crack sine he was eight years old.

Tim also wished his emotions could straighten themselves out enough to at least be consistent.

Instead he pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. He had to center himself. Or something like that. Something basic that would put the whole world back into order.

He just had forgotten whatever that basic thing was.

After he gathered enough of his senses, Tim looked to Bruce and Dick again. They were huddled over the rugs that Bruce had mentioned but Tim knew better than to believe that they were talking about thread count while basically over top one another. There must have been something that got Bruce’s attention.

Maybe it was the reason they were there.

The times were hard, difficult even. And more than a little crazy. And Tim was considering what an awful time it was for the most visible heroes in the world — Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman — to all be unseen after such a Crisis, after so much death and destruction. It was hard to consider who the normal people were supposed to look up to in the times.

Which was why Lex Luthors were making headlines about creating new superheroes and Black Adams were being hailed as saviors instead of tyrants.

When he looked back to the newspapers almost subconsciously, Tim noticed a figure slip behind the cage of exotic birds in a rather quick and intentional fashion. If it was meant to not draw his attention, it desperately failed.

Tim studiously looked at the newspapers in French and Arabic, but his attention was on his peripheral vision and the man standing just on the other side of the birdcage watching him. And he was definitely watching Tim.

Trying his best to look the part of the bored, jaded modern teenager, Tim adjusted his baseball cap and reached into his pocket to pull out his cellphone. He made it seem as though he was scrolling through his options, but in reality he was setting up a secure connection to Bruce and Dick’s similarly supped up cells. He would be quick to tip them off to the fact that someone was scoping them out when he slowly stopped.

Staring at his phone, Tim almost could hear a ringing in his ears as he put the pieces together, painfully slow. Then he looked toward Bruce and Dick and how they were looking his way but not at him as they talked.

They knew. Somehow they — or at least Bruce — had spotted their tagalong before Tim. And beyond that, they had gone away from him to discuss what to do about it. Away from Tim. But why?

He struggled with the full picture until someone bumped against his back and rather than move away immediately stood there. Tim’s skin crawled at his space being so closely invade and he couldn’t help but tense and try to lean forward, away from the person, but a thin hand with ornate, painted nails held onto his shoulder. Unlike most women in the bizarre, however, there were no rings or bangles.

“Easy, little Robin,” a familiar voice said softly.

Talia al Ghul.

“Okay,” Tim said softly in return.

“My beloved and I cannot be seen together in public. Not here where the eyes of the serpents come from any separate heads. Some my father’s. Many not,” she informed him in hushed tones. “So please let him know, I will be where the moon touches the dunes at midnight, in the same tent where we spoke eternal vows.”

Tim absorbed the information. “So you’re still not with your father?” he asked.

“Things have not changed between any of us since last we met,” she answered. “You have protective instincts. That is admirable for a man your age. It will keep you alive.”

“Guess we’ll find out,” Tim replied, glancing over his shoulder the moment Talia released his shoulder. He watched her, in full dress, disappear into the crowds. His eyes only narrowed as he strung things more and more together.

Bruce and Dick moved quickly to rejoin him after that but Tim was beginning to feel himself boil.

“Thank you, Tim,” Bruce said in hushed tones. “Dick and Talia do not have the fondest history with each other.”

“In so many terms,” Dick muttered sourly.

Tim looked at both of them for a long moment then pulled down his cap to hide his eyes from him. He could feel the quiver in his lips about to give too much of what he was feeling. “I want to be notified the next time I’m used as bait,” Tim said darkly. “It’s the least you can do.”

“Tim, if we thought there was danger,” Dick began, but Bruce stopped him.

“It was a split second calculation, Tim. It won’t happen again,” Bruce promised.

Tim nodded, but inside his blood continued to boil.

It was going to happen again. It happened all the time. And he was tired of it. As tired as he was of everything that had to do with his double life anymore.

It shouldn’t have surprised Tim that what they found in the desert was a fight. And yet he was taken aback.

Reaching the exact spot where the moon touches the dunes at midnight was apparently a cryptic way of leading them to the center of a desert with only the supplies that they could carry with them. Which was suspicious itself before Bruce raised one arm and halted Tim and Dick behind him.

Tim struggled a bit with his camel, but with a single pet from Dick, the animal finally obeyed and left them both standing side by side on the edge of a dune as Bruce dismounted and walked to the center of a suspicious looking plain of sand.

Barely containing himself, Tim kept from mentioning that it wasn’t a good idea for Bruce to walk where his feet sunk into the sand halfway up his shins. It was something he shouldn’t have had to tell the Batman — about how sand traps and even quick sand worked. Especially at night where what water was in the desert would collect in its barren lands. He shouldn’t have to. But lately…

Both Tim and Dick jerked back in surprise when Bruce dropped to his knees, digging through the sand, as if he knew exactly what to expect. Then, he let out a grunt of satisfaction, slowly getting back to his feet with a scimitar in hand.

“Oh, of course. Of course there would be a sword hidden in the sand in the middle of the desert. How could we not see that coming,” Dick muttered sarcastically. He took pause and glanced around. “Wait… I remember this place. This is where—“

They emerged so suddenly that Tim had hardly turned from looking in Dick’s direction to see how they came out of the sand. There was half a dozen of them, cloaked from head to toe in rags, their hands extended toward Bruce showing off the eyeballs which stared at him from their finger tips.

“What the hell?” Tim asked out loud.

“For what it’s worth, I didn’t get it when I was Robin either,” Dick offered.

“No, that’s not worth much, because this is weird,” Tim argued just before the men began fighting Bruce. “Talia set us up! We’ve got to help him—“

Before Tim could do anything drastic, Dick grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him back. “Talia doesn’t work that way, loathe as I am to say it. And if Bruce came all this way… well, he came for something and we’re not ones to tell him what he does or doesn’t need.”

With only a moment’s hesitation, Tim jerked his shoulders back away from Dick, shaking his head. “You’re wrong. Robin’s whole job is to tell Batman when he’s gone the wrong way. It’s our job to set him right when he’s wrong. The light to Batman’s darkness— that’s what you called Robin, remember?”

Dick seemed unsurprised and rather impressed. “And as a Robin it’s your job, then,” he said, not questioned. “And you have to have faith he won’t let you down either. Sometimes you have to have faith that he’s already doing the right thing.”

“i can’t,” Tim said simply. “I don’t have that faith. I’ve been let down.”

A pained expression crossed Dick’s face as he heard Tim’s response. “Oh, Tim,” he said with such weight and gravity.

It was all for nothing, though, because Tim turned in time to see Bruce’s devastating victory against the strange, ten-eyed men. He was breathing hard, but for the first time in months, Tim could see a smile on Bruce’s face as he dropped down to his knees and leaned his head back to face the cloudless sky. “The darkness is gone,” he said, voice level and normal despite his words being something that Tim would have pegged on hysteria. “I am reborn.”

Tim looked to Dick who was also raising a brow at the statement before snapping his head to look across the dunes. When Tim followed the look, he saw Talia and her guards as well, on horses, watching over Bruce.

“I must know, Beloved,” Talia called down to him as she steadied her steed. “Was the man or the bat reborn? And are either the keeper of my heart?”

Bruce looked in her direction but said nothing.

Dick sighed and rubbed his face with his good hand. “Just say yes, Bruce. Don’t drag us all the way into the middle of a desert for a fight with the League of Assassins.”

Tim tried to have faith that that was not going to happen, but it was as difficult as what Dick had asked of him before.

And if Bruce was reborn as someone even more unfamiliar to Tim than the Bruce of the last year, well, that was a whole new set of issues.

[mysdrymmumbles]

Andraste’s Witch - Chapter 70 - NSFWish?

Pairings: Slowburn Cullen x F!Witch!Inquisitor

Rating: M for later chapters which will include violence, PTSD, withdrawal,  angst, body horror (think red templars), and possibly other stuff that I will be sure to tag. This is not actually a grimdark story, but I just wanna give people a heads up for stuff that will happen. There will also be fluff and friendship and magic (though to be fair, this is Thedas, so magic will not always be positive and very rarely as adorable as that last statement implied).

Genre: Action/Adventure with elements of romance  

Summary: Cullen’s mulls over his past and wonders about the present.

I should probably wait until next week to post this, but fuck it, lol. Thank you for reading <3

Andraste’s Witch

Chapter 70 - The Commander’s Broken Heart

Since the night he’d held her at the edge of camp, Finley had been avoiding him. Cullen was sure of it.

Maker, Josephine had even suggested they talk. She’d said that Finley seemed even more on edge than usual and that Cullen seemed to have a way with her, but the way she said it had made Cullen worry that perhaps Finley had said something to her, and she was trying to resolve matters before Denerim.

There was tension between them, and he knew Josephine had to noticed it.  

He’d tried to tell himself that he was just overthinking things, but…

But everything was making him on edge.

Worse, he kept hearing people whispering about some damned bet. He’d asked Cassandra about it, but she’d simply shrugged and said she’d heard of one that was how long it’d take her to kill Varric, so she wasn’t really interested in knowing what the newest one might be.

With the pace they’d set for Denerim, there wasn’t a lot for him to do, other than ride and think things over. And his mind was merciless. It replayed his most recent interactions with Finley, thinking about the way she might reach for him, then pull away, as though she were troubled by something. The way she twisted under his gaze, like she was…afraid.

Of what?

Him?

He would never hurt her…

He almost wished Alistair was there, if only to give him a distraction. The man had spent his childhood screaming in Chantries, so Cullen didn’t doubt he’d be good for a laugh or even an argument. At this point, he would have taken listening to a victory speech about how ‘witches’ had to be real.

Unfortunately, Alistair had stayed back at Skyhold. When Finley had asked Alistair if he was coming with them—stars in her eyes and hope in her voice—he’d said no.

Well, there had been snorting, extreme exaggeration, and even a short giggle from Finley despite herself.

The famed grey warden was certainly good at drawing a smile from their Inquisitor…

But no, Alistair was going to wait for Hawke to get back, as Hawke had sent word that they’d found something important. Considering how he’d marked all of his letters to Skyhold as important, telling them that they needed to allocate resources they didn’t have to help people who wouldn’t let them in their country, Cullen wasn’t sure how serious to take the latest message. However, Alistair had been firm in staying behind.  

Cullen was fairly certain Finley wanted to toss Hawke off a cliff for claiming the warden’s attentions, but Cullen hadn’t been able to mind that part so much. The man could trip into a room, and Finley was giddy and girlishly adorable.

She never did that with him…

He supposed he ought not to be jealous, considering she was sleeping with him, not Alistair, and yet he could not keep his scowls at bay. And a relationship between the Inquisitor and a warden outside of the Inquisition wouldn’t cause the same sort of stir as her finding comfort in her commander’s chambers…

Maker, help him.

Even with Finley’s adoration for every warden she met—at least it seemed so—he still wished Alistair was around, if only to distract him from the facts that Finley was avoiding him and that he had no desire to meet with King Cousland.

Maker, don’t let that man remember him. Please, please, please…

He’d been a no one back then, a pitiful wretch, mad from the horrors he’d seen, when Warden Commander Brosca had led her group in to save the day. It had been bad enough that Alistair had seen him that way, but he’d never thought of the strangers.

That he worked with Leliana now was a certain level of misery, as he still expected her to bring up Kinloch Hold at some point, though she never did. He was glad of her silence.

Perhaps, even if the king did recognize him as the raving madman from the tower, he would keep quiet about it.

It was a hollow hope.

King Cousland had been one of the more vocal members of the group who had saved the Circle. At the time, Cullen had thought the noble a blessing, a voice of reason that should have given credibility to his own demands.

He could still taste that bitterness in his mouth from when Knight-Commander Greagoir had refused to kill the remaining mages, not seeing them for the dangers he was certain they posed. With all that had happened, all those who had pretended to be a decent sort only to turn into murderous abominations, how anyone had been able to argue with him had been madness in his mind at the time.

Cousland had agreed. Better to cut them down now than to have them take out the remaining templars and make sure that the Wardens’ treaty could not be fulfilled.  

Warden Brosca had been ready to toss both Cullen and Cousland into the lake, hissing that she’d like to see them swim in their armor. She’d had more choice words, though they’d been directed at Cousland rather than Cullen, and all he’d known was that Alistair and the others with them had managed to calm things down.

In the end, they’d gone on to save the world, and he’d gone to Greenfell to ‘recover’. As though all he’d been through was something that could be gotten over with a bit of fresh air.

Granted, after the first month, he’d thought that…

He’d been a fool, a young, traumatized fool, who’d sought comfort in the first arms that would take him.

Ellendra.

He’d needed someone, anyone to keep him grounded in reality, and Ellendra had offered him her hand and her bed. He’d been desperate to learn and please, to do anything that distracted him from his memories, anything that kept him awake long enough that he was too tired to have the nightmares that haunted him.

He hadn’t loved her, but at the time he thought he had. She’d been his first, and he’d felt that with her he could build some semblance of a life, something constant, something different. He’d even mulled over leaving the Order a night or two, though he hadn’t known what he’d possibly do with his life if he wasn’t a templar.

And then that had fallen through as easily as it had started, and he’d requested transfer, again wanting to be anywhere but where he was.

Knight-Commander Greagoir had suggested he not head off so quickly, that he take the time to allow himself to get better—that he would fight for the Order to allow Cullen that. He came by a few times—when he could spare—to check up on Cullen, though he’d seen the old man’s visits through a haze of betrayal, after the lenience at the hold. The knight-commander had tried again and again to talk to Cullen about what had happened, to encourage him to work through his problems.

But he couldn’t.

And he couldn’t stay in Greenfell. To know he was just one in a long line of Ellendra’s lovers, to know that he’d meant as much to her as he had to the demons that had toyed with him…

He’d needed to be anywhere else.

And so even though Kirkwall was the largest Circle in Thedas, he’d gone there when he’d heard of an opening, hoping to recover some part of himself that he’d lost by throwing himself back into the dream he’d had ever since he was a child.

He would be a protector, someone who would keep the innocent safe from monsters.

Before he’d thought that meant keeping regular people safe from abominations, and keeping mages safe from mobs.

After the madness at Kinloch Hold, though…

His concept of monster was already blurry when Meredith had gotten ahold of him, and she’d done nothing but make sure that the lines were redrawn in all the wrong places, the places he feared they should be.

She had been so confident, so firm, that he’d trusted her. She’d been the strict, stern leader that he’d wanted Greagoir to be. She didn’t give the mages chances to fall to temptation, she protected people.

Or so he’d thought at the time.

Because of that, he’d been her most loyal templar, one of the many reasons that he was promoted so quickly to her second in command.

There were rumors that he was Meredith’s plaything, though it held no merit. Their relationship was strictly professional, and he’d figured that any relations with mages or other templars would lead to nothing but heartbreak or manipulation.

Linda had been a poor waif in Lowtown who somehow always managed to be around and in need of saving. While he’d initially looked into her, suspecting her of helping blood mages seeing as she was always somehow involved with them, it ended up that she was there for him. She fancied him and risked most anything for a moment or two to talk.

After a particularly bad night, he’d fallen into her arms much as he had with Ellendra, just wanting a distraction from everything that was wrong with his life.

She’d been kinder, gentler, and yet he’d never been able to coax his heart into their affair.

They’d carried on for a few years, until one day she came up and told him that she was getting married.

Cullen had been surprised that that hadn’t hurt him like he would have expected it to, but he’d figured that that was what his life was. A series of short reprieves from the usual misery of the horrors that lay just beneath the surface, that haunted his nights.

After that, he’d limited himself to The Blooming Rose when he absolutely couldn’t stand the loneliness that smothered him.

It had been well enough, good enough for someone like him.

Though, as he’d realized what was going on in the Gallows—what he was letting happen—he’d turned away from even that.

Meredith had not been amused when his gaze had turned inward toward the templars, when he’d started listening to Ser Thrask and First Enchanter Orsino.

She’d been even less thrilled when he’d brought several templars to the Grand Cleric’s attention for their crimes against mages after Meredith dismissed him.

It was like he’d made a declaration of war against his superior, and even as he feared lines would be drawn within the templars, he learned that they were already there, and that he’d been on the side of the real monsters.

Maker, he’d been one of them.

Suddenly, he’d found himself having to make sure Ser Thrask or one of the mage-sympathetic templars were out hunting down apostates with him, or he’d find himself getting shouldered into boulders or shield bashed in the face as a fellow templar ‘mistook’ him for a mage in the heat of battle.

All accidents, of course.

And while it was a monster coordinating these things, he couldn’t help the slithering, twisted self-loathing that curled inside him, whispering that he deserved at least this much.

He deserved to be hurt, to be lonely, to suffer as those he’d neglected had suffered.

When he’d left the Order to join the Inquisition, he’d hoped he could find a way to atone, to…not to make up for what he’d done. That could never happen. But he’d wanted to try to be the man he’d dreamed of being when he was boy.

A protector.

He’d never even considered he might find someone…let alone a mage who held the key to saving the world. That someone like Finley could even consider him…

He’d given up on romance long before he realized he didn’t deserve it, and yet here he was, jealous of a hero because of the way the woman he loved seemed drawn to him.

His mind stopped at that, for some reason, slowly playing back his most recent string of thoughts.

Cullen nearly fell off his horse as what he’d thought processed. Snapping up and alert, he glanced around to see if anyone had noticed his near accident, though no one seemed to be paying him particular mind.

He ran his fingers through his hair, staring ahead, heat creeping up into his cheeks.

Maker, he loved her.

He loved Finley.

How?

How could he love her already?

Even as he wondered, all he could do was think of the way she spoke, of the quiet, hesitant smiles she gave him, of the way she came to him before anyone else, the way…

Maker, help him.

He wanted to offer her a ride on his horse, just to feel her body against his. Theirs was a slow enough pace that they could have talked off and on.

Talked and touched and…

And she was avoiding him.

Had she figured out before he had and been scared off? This was…it was far too soon. Love was something that took time and…

And he needed to see her.

When they’d camped for the night, he made sure the guards were posted and then searched for Finley, only to find that she was being as elusive as usual, though Leliana had assured him he needn’t worry and so he’d figured the spymaster had eyes on her wherever she was. Despite wanting to keep looking for her, he’d given in, his body weary from the days on the road, and headed to his tent.

However, when he reached it, he found a small paper tied to his tent flap’s tie. He unraveled it, a mite bit annoyed, especially seeing as the delivery reminded him of Sera, and she was supposed to be back at Skyhold.

He scanned the letter carefully and then sighed. The misspellings screamed that Sera had stowed away with them. While he didn’t care so long as she didn’t cause any mayhem, he knew that Josephine would be concerned if she found out.

Perhaps he’d forget to bring it up.

The note, however, said that he’d find something important at the stream just south of where they were camped, and so he headed off, even as he wanted to do nothing more than crawl into his tent and pretend to sleep as his mind played through every interaction he’d ever had with Finley and why she might be mad at him at present.

When he reached the stream, he found another note tied to a branch—almost hidden—that pointed him to the right.

As he wondered if he should have his blade drawn, he wandered along the brush, watching the water flow past, quick enough that it was clear and crisp. The underbrush and foliage were dense enough that—while it could hide someone easily—he doubted anyone could move through it easily to prepare a sneak attack, so clearly the notes hadn’t been alerting him to a possible weak point near the camp.

If this was some simple diversion tactic…

He forgot about sneak attacks and pranks the second he heard a surprised gasp and looked up to see Finley. She was sitting on a large rock beside the water, washing her long hair.

It was one of the first times he’d seen it nearly tangle free, and his breath caught in his throat as he watched her, imagining for a second it was his fingers in her hair.

“Commander.” Her voice was hesitant, as though she wasn’t sure what she was supposed to say. He was surprised by how much that caution hurt.

“Finley.”

At her name, that small, quiet smile he so loved whispered across her lips. It was gone too soon. “Has…something happened?”

That was what he wanted to know.

“Someone left me a note that I should come out here.”

“Oh…” He could see the gears turn quickly in Finley’s head as she assigned blame to the appropriate parties. So she knew Sera was here.

Wonderful.

She’d shed most of her clothes to keep them from getting wet as she fought with her hair, and the way her under shirt clung to her made him want to take her in his arms and cast it aside with everything else. To feel her heart beating with his, to…

“You shouldn’t be alone out here.”

“I’m used to being alone,” she retorted, shrugging and turning back to her original task.

Cullen stepped up beside the rock she was seated upon, watching her muscles in her bare arms move beneath her skin a few minutes before he managed to gather his thoughts.

“You could be hurt.”

“I’m used to getting hurt.”

Cullen flinched at that. A thousand responses flitted through his mind. He was sorry, even though he’d never hurt her himself. He wished she wasn’t used to it. He wanted to make sure she wouldn’t be ever again.

There were so many things he wanted to say, and instead, he stood there, close enough that he could reach out and cup her face in his hands, and yet feeling like he couldn’t.

“Finley.” Before he’d realized it, he’d knelt in front of her, peering up into her face, searching her expression. He wanted to ask what had happened between them. He’d found her in the woods early on when they’d started traveling, and she’d been crying, and she’d… He’d held her for a little while before taking her back to her tent.

The next morning, there had been a change, though, and he wasn’t sure what had caused it.

“Cullen.”

Her voice was soft, but the sound of his name on her lips sent a shiver through him.  

“I just…” she trailed off, letting her hair fall against her back and shaking her head. “I miss the Wilds. It’s a lot easier when you know what to expect and what will likely happen and…here…nothing makes sense.”

Without thinking, he finally breeched that impossible distance between them, fingers gently brushing across her jaw and cheeks. He just wanted to do something, anything that would help her. “You’re not alone with that. Everything’s a bit of a mess right now.”

Finley leaned into his touch, closing her eyes as she brought her hand up to hold his. Even as she pressed a kiss into his palm, she straightened up, worried. “Am I…should we even…” He leaned toward her as she struggled to find her words. “I don’t really get how to do this. With you. Everything is so complicated.”

Cullen blinked, staring up at her, at the earnest worry settling on her features.

She looked away from him, wincing as she started to say something, and he couldn’t help himself anymore.

Leaning forward, he caught her lips with his, moving his hand back to the nape of her neck, as he moved his lips, seeking to memorize hers.

There was a second’s hesitation that almost made him stop, before her fingers were in his hair, tugging him closer.

He moved with her, surging up and pushing her down onto the rock, his knee propping himself up slightly over her as their hands wandered over each other, desperately seeking bare skin. One of her legs slid up along his to wrap around his waist, though Finley stopped short, pulling away a little.

As she caught her breath and he fought the urge to simply kiss her again, she bit her lip. “Cullen…your sword is pressing into my leg.”

“That’s not my sword.”

“What I’m talking about is.”

With a glance, he saw the problem—obvious thing that it was—and felt like an idiot. Of course he was still wearing his sword on his hip. Even as he cursed how in the way it was, hand reaching to his belt he stopped himself.

Something had cracked in the woods. A stick.

Cullen held his breath, waiting to see what would come of it. Finley was the one to dismiss it. “It was just an animal.”

When he looked back at her, however, he couldn’t shake the fact that someone could have snuck up on them, and they would have been caught off guard.

Maker, he was supposed to be protecting her, not putting her in more danger.

She seemed to be on the same page, already sitting up and running her fingers through her hair to make sure it was still clean.

“I’ll…stay with you until you’re ready to go back.” The words were forced, and he was half afraid to meet her gaze, that he might lose himself in thoughts of touching her again.  

She simply nodded, reached out, and squeezed his hand. Then she was back to finishing up with the last few tangles in her hair. Cullen watched her, trying to keep his attention on their surroundings as well, though he had a hard time with that when they were so close.

Turning his back to her, he walked away a few paces, trying to think of something to calm the fire in his blood. Abruptly, he straightened up and looked back at her. “You were going to say something.”

“Hmm?” Finley braided her hair quickly and turned back to her clothes.

“When I kissed you. I didn’t mean to interrupt you. I just…” He wasn’t sure what to say that would excuse his actions, but he didn’t want her to think he would just kiss her to get her to stop talking or…

She hesitated at that, fingers gripping her shirt with more force than necessary as she stared blankly at the fabric.

“It wasn’t anything important.” She tugged it over her head and then gave him a hesitant smile. “Just a silly fear.”

That gave him pause.

That she’d been willing to open up to him made him want to press the matter, and yet…

Cullen could understand not wanting to talk about things well enough, and so he nodded, reaching out and lightly catching her hand. “Alright.” A light blush settled on her cheeks when he squeezed her hand, and he motioned back toward the camp. “We should get some sleep.”

As he let go of her, she drew in a slow breath, nodding before she exhaled. “We reach Denerim tomorrow, yes?”

“We do.”

“We…we’re not going to be there more than a few days.”

Cullen gave her a reassuring smile. “We’ll be heading back to Skyhold by the end of the week.”

As he gave her that assurance, she let out another slow breath, tilting her head back and staring up into the branches overhead as they wandered back. “I’ll be glad to have this past us.”

“As will we all.”

And for the first time that night, she gave him a more genuine smile, stretching up on her toes to kiss his cheek before winding her way back through the trees to camp with the soft, quiet ease that made him wonder if he hadn’t been wrong in assuming it would be hard to have a sneak attack in this area.

He’d order a few more guards before he went to bed.

He’d messed up so many times before, but this time he would act as the protector he’d sworn he would be.

He would.

[gregellner]

Cover by Richard Pace.

Today I’ll be reviewing “Imaginary Fiends,” in particular its first (and so far as this writing, only) arc, ‘The Cat’s Paw.’ The comic is written by Tim Seeley, illustrated by Stephen Molnar, colored by Quinton Winter, lettered by Carlos M. Mangual, and published by DC Comics’ Vertigo imprint.

Concept

Interdimensional Mental Parasites

The overall concept follows an examination of not-so-imaginary friends, extra-dimensional entities known as “interdimensional mental parasites” (or “IMPs” for short) that come from another world, and sometimes find their way into our world by breaching dimensional barriers in one way or another. It seems best for one of the main characters of “Imaginary Fiends,” Special Agent Virgil Crockett of the FBI’s IMP Division, to explain how exactly they function before we go into depth.

“In this world, their sustenance comes from the human mind. They feed on attention. Affection. Loyalty. To ensure meals, they bond with an impressionable, plastic mind, most often the young or mentally ill. The host provides a name and a narrative and the IMP soaks it up like rays of the sun. Most are immaterial and harmless, providing nothing but companionship. A confidante in a lonely world. They fade away and die when the host ages out of interest in them, like they were never there at all. But some – the hungriest of them – remain. They grow stronger. They start to be able to affect the physical world. The IMPs begin to need more sustenance. Convince multiple people to believe in them. They get a taste for fear. It gets them high. They start to demand… more.”

With the way in which the IMPs operate comes a question of agency and responsibility, but that will be discussed later.

Our primary look into the way IMPs operate comes in the form of Polly Peachpit (to be mentioned below), but other antagonists (and their hosts) also serve as examinations of this particular supernatural element.

Furthermore, the way in which more powerful IMPs can interact with the world seems to vary significantly depending upon the number of people who believe in them as well as the manner in which their story manifests. Some very powerful ones can secrete compounds to influence normal people, with the overall effect of allowing those who are normally unable to interact with them able to touch them instead. Others may not be “real” enough to do more than fight with other somewhat strong IMPs. At a certain level of power, IMPs can touch, damage, or otherwise physically manipulate the environment, down to even attaining physical contact with humans, whether to cause harm or to help save their lives, despite being invisible to most humans. As is noted in one comment, the phenomenon is reminiscent of the idea that while people cannot kill an idea, an idea can kill people through how it affects the world.

Characters

While there is a collection of different major characters, including Cameron Cale, Charlie Chokecherry, and more, it seems best to concentrate on the three main characters: protagonist Melba Li, deuteragonist Polly Peachpit, and tritagonist Virgil Crockett.

Melba Li

Melba Li is a complex figure, one that Tim Seeley often doesn’t utilize in other works. While she is the protagonist and tied to a supernatural element of the plot, her ability to physically combat her problems is severely hampered by a lack of any intentions toward acting on her own, very much unlike the similarly aged Cassandra “Cassie” Hack of his “Hack/Slash” series, or Martha “Em” Cypress of “Revival.” Instead, she has Polly Peachpit (to be discussed below) do the grunt work, and so is woefully underprepared for most direct conflict. Furthermore, rather than be either openly abrasive (like Cassie) or leaning toward emotionlessness over time (like Em), Melba is more subdued and relatively introverted, wanting to keep to herself and out of trouble as much as possible, with the exception of one bout of an underage drinking binge.

Complicating matters is the fact that she is a murderer, having stabbed her best friend Brinke Cale to death seventeen times with a fillet knife, though the circumstances involving Polly’s involvement make determining what exactly happened a bit difficult for most of the arc.

Still, her existence as Polly Peachpit’s host, an “advanced host” according to the IMP Division, makes her a primary candidate to be an IMP specialist to help the FBI as a new agent pretending to be five years older than her age of 18 in exchange for staying out of prison and under the radar. There isn’t a lot of focus on the idea of keeping her identity a secret, but her desire to stay out of a prison sentence (which would have started on her eighteenth birthday, the day of Special Agent Crockett coming to see her, if not for his deal) colors at least some elements of her personality.

In terms of the borderline X-Files approach taken by the series, Agent Li could be seen to be the closest equivalent to Fox Mulder, but only from the most superficial standpoint. While she believes in the “imaginary friends” brought forth in the form of IMPs enough to see them, she is still a relative novice in actually handling them. Even Polly Peachpit is someone she cowers from in fear. In fact, for all of her ability to imagine, she is afraid of her own imagination for most of the arc, and while she used to enjoy drawing and using artistic license when it came to various colors on a picture (such as non-blue skies and the like), her fear has kept her from enjoying anything involving creativity since the death of Brinke, to the point of only coloring within the lines of someone else’s piece, et cetera.

Polly Peachpit

“Polly Polly, Mr. Chokecherry’s wife. Wrap you in her long legs, kiss you with a knife. She eats all your candy. She takes all your dolls. Love someone more than her and she’ll take you to the falls.”

Polly Peachpit is Melba Li’s primary IMP, the one that has stuck with her even after the others fell away from her imagination. She alternates between a fully humanoid form and that of a giant werespider (bottom half being a spider, top half being a woman). As a hungry IMP, Polly is fed on fear and belief both, but while the latter may supply basic existence, the former is required for continued sustenance and to supplement her healing abilities and strength. This reliance on fear is played in a variety of ways, ranging from talk of murder at random times to basic attempts to get young children to see her and fear her so as to recover from horrific injuries.

Polly has an odd relationship with her host, one that fluctuates between abusive and caring depending on the situation. The abuse is of course necessary to keep Polly alive by forcing Melba to fear her, but the caring nature, such as trying to help her host feel better or at some points even saving her life, demonstrates that Polly is not wholly evil at all. In fact, it is entirely likely that she is just filling out the role proposed by her story (seen in the poem above), given its reliance on her as a possessive entity.

Virgil Crockett

“I didn’t see it and you died. But it’s never going to happen that way again. Now I’m going to see everything.”

Our tritagonist is another kind of character that is both familiar and new for fans of Tim Seeley. On the surface, Special Agent Crockett fills the role of the older male sidekick who acts to back up the younger heroine. However, unlike the other prominent one on Seeley’s resume, Agent Crockett is the more experienced one of the duo, at least on a certain level. He is the one to introduce Melba officially to the world of IMPs, one she only knew through her “imaginary” friends like Polly beforehand, and to which she didn’t understand the rules. While the fact that a man named Virgil introduces the main character to the nature of a metaphorical Hell may not be intentional, the literary allusion is not lost either.

To follow the aforementioned X-Files analogy, Agent Crockett fills the approximate role of Dana Scully in contrast to Agent Li’s Fox Mulder, though again turned on its head. Crockett isn’t a skeptic when it comes to IMPs, as shown by the fact that he had introduced her to the mechanisms of the concept in the first place. However, while Crockett is the more experienced of the duo in theory, in practice his regimented life as a federal agent keeps him from being very helpful in encounters with IMPs, as he cannot hear nor see them himself. Crockett struggles to actually comprehend the bizarre nature of his work, and his past failures to do so continuously haunt him even into the present day. Unfortunately, the attempts to add fluidity to his work, like experimentation with Flamenco dancing, are heavily structured, explaining why he would need a partner who has the necessary imagination to interact with IMPs.

Themes

In general, the series thus far seems to be an examination of two key concepts: trust and responsibility.

Trust

There is a heavy focus on trust in “Imaginary Fiends,” especially regarding Melba and her relationships. The entire arc focuses on her slowly beginning to trust Polly Peachpit again after Brinke’s murder, from out of necessity alone to relying upon her for support. While Polly is a danger, this trusting relationship is fostered by her connection to Virgil Crockett as well, who shows that, rather than treating her like a child or holding the threat of her prison sentence over her head, he is fully willing to work with her and help her through her problems, even while admitting that what she’s doing is wrong, and at times outright illegal (like underage drinking).

On the other hand, trust can also be seen as a bad thing at times, such as trusting someone else with all responsibility in an incident, which leads to another topic altogether.

Responsibility

Rather than that focus on trust, the primary theme in “Imaginary Fiends” seems to be one of the variability and balance of responsibility, especially as it relates to humanity’s occasional desire to indulge in escapism to step away from the horrors of their reality.

All things considered, it’s difficult to determine how evil the IMPs actually are. Much like the Xenomorph XX121 of the Alien franchise and its related films, their hostile behaviors could at times be seen as nothing more than survival instincts. Being formed of human imagination through their names, forms, and narratives, and beholden to their host’s belief in order to keep their identity “real” in the human dimension, can they really be blamed for scaring people? How much of the blame can be placed on them, at times just acting as they do in order to survive rather than as any actual malicious intent, as opposed to the very nature of IMPs in general?

Furthermore, the reasons behind the establishment of certain narratives, at times dredged in real-world horror and an attempt at escapism, further muddies the waters of how “bad” the IMPs really are, even in the case of the hungrier ones. Humans make these narratives, and the IMPs take them up as their own identities, playing a part to live. At what point does the fact that they act a certain way – especially in defense of their hosts or in a manner that they view as benevolent – get blamed entirely on them, rather than being a consequence of the host’s own desires? The primary antagonist of the latter half of the arc is especially prominent in that regard.