#also if anyone has more to suggest lemme know!

[sturniolowhore]

Paris Love

pairing: dom!carrington x sub!reader

Summary: You go to visit a friend in Paris and go to a party with her, just to find someone new.

Warnings: SMUT, alcohol usage, p in v, unprotected sex, and more.

a/n: I thought of this while in class so I know it might be a bit messy but enjoy! Also I don't want anyone to copy or use my writing for "inspiration".

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As soon as your get off your plane, you see your friend waiting for you. You run over to her and hug her.

"Omg, it's been so long. Thank god you're here!" Your friend said excitedly. You and her have been best friends since your two learned to talk. You told each other everything, until she moved to paris.

"I know! I'm really happy to be here!" You say back to her. She grabs your suitcase and you two start to walk towards the doors. You both uber back to her place, and get settled in the spare room.

She knocks on your door a couple of hours later, letting your get used to the room and her place.

"Hey!" she says walking into the room, "There's a party across the street, wanna go?"

You think about it for a minute. "Why not?" You say, a smile forming on your face.

"Good! Do you know what your going to wear?" she asked.

"Actually, no. I don't really have anything to wear party-wise." you say. It was true. You didn't think you wear going to go to a party in paris, so you didn't bring anything.

"Oh. I could lend you a dress if you'd like?" She asked.

"Um, sure." You accept.

An hour or two later, you two are about to head out the door, to walk across the street to the party. One last check in the mirror and your good. Your friend lent your a black strapless dress, that just barely covers your ass. She also lent you a pair of 5 inch red bottoms. Your hair was down, and your makeup was done. You had a little black bag, that had your phone, lip gloss, and your credit card. You make your way across the street laughing and talking with your friend.

You make your way up to the door, and push it open. As soon as you enter, you see a brown, curly haired boy, holding a drink in his hand ad talking with a blonde girl, who looked really familiar. He was wearing a black hoodie and jeans. He also wore a chain, that hung from his neck.

"Oooh, looks like someone has a crush." Your friend says.

"I do not!" you shoot back getting a bit defensive.

"You get defensive every time I figure out one of your secrets." Your friend says, giving you a knowing look. It was true. Every time your friend figures something out that you haven't told her, you get a bit defensive. "You should talk to him!" Your friend suggests.

"No way in hell am I ever going to-" You were cut off with your friend pushing you towards him. You bump into him, spilling his drink all over you and him.

"Oh! I am so sorry! My stupid fucking friend pushed me." You say looking up at him.

He chuckles. "No, your good. It wasn't your fault."

"Lemme grab a towel. Um, do you know were the bathrooms are?" you ask him.

He grabs your hand and leads you to the bathroom. He locks the door, and takes off his hoodie. He wasn't wearing anything underneath, so his abs were on full display.

You look down. "Woah.." You say lowly, but just loud enough for him to hear.

"Like what you see?" he says, getting closer.

You look back up at him. "Yeah."

He chuckles lowly. "The drink got all over you too." he leans down and whispers in your ear. "Let's take this off ya, yeah?" he says while pulling the dress over your head.

He stares at your body, taking in how your breasts jump out, since you weren't wearing a bra. You were, however, wearing a black lace thong.

"Wow.." he smiles, "Your so beautiful." He's now inches away from your face. He pulls you in for a kiss, his tongue begging to enter you mouth. You grant him access, and his mouth explores your mouth. He pulls away and starts tracing your jaw with his tongue. He then starts to kiss and nip at your neck.

He pulls away and starts to take off his jeans and boxers. You take off your panties, and he pushes you against the wall. He scoops you up, his hands under your ass, and he pulls your legs around his waist.

He starts to slip into you, and he lets out a groan. "Damn, your tight." He starts to thrust in and out of you. You throw your head back, lost in the pleasure. His thrusts start to get faster. Your eyes roll to the back of your head, and your back starts to arch slightly. You let out moans and pornagraphic sounds.

"cl..close.." You manage to get out.

"Me too, baby." he says, his thrusts starting to get sloppy.

You let out a loud moan as you feel the knot that was forming, snaps. A white ring forms at the base of his cock, as you let go. He groans as he feels you come, thrusting into you a bit more, finally coming inside you.

He pulls out gently, watching as his come drips out of you.

"Hey, I never got your name." You say as soon as you come down from your high.

"Its Carrington." He says with a smile, and puts you down. "I'll get your name when I see you again." He says while putting his clothes back on and winking at you before leaving the bathroom.

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a/n 2: This was a bit long and a bit rushed cs I wanted to get this fic out today, but I hope you enjoyed!

🏷️: @owensbabygirl

[madamairlock]

Alright, I gotta shower and then I have a couple more incorrect quotes to work on.

[reidrum]

I can't stop thinking munch!spencer x reader who's insecure about having thick thighs (it's me, I'm reader)

take a seat | s.r

hi thank u for requesting!! i tried to be ambiguous about reader’s size but if it doesn’t come across that way lemme know and ill fix it!!!

wc: 1.7k

cw: 18+ smut minors dni, afab reader, face sitting, munch!spencer my beloved, insecure!reader who i took to be a little self indulgent sorry, fluff, hurt comfort but no hurt lol

this is also not proofread sorry

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the thing about spencer is if you have any fear or qualm about anything, his main verbal form of comfort is information. and it’s not a bad thing, not at all. finding comfort in the facts is what spencer hopes to achieve when he spews his tidbits. it’s just, sometimes it’ll do more harm than good, or even worse, do nothing at all.

that’s where you’re at right now, sitting in spencer’s room with your legs tucked under you while he sits up at the head of the bed. the top buttons of his dress shirt are undone, tie strewn somewhere in the room. you’re still fully clothed albeit in a loose t shirt and some panties. the want in his eyes is undeniable, his question still lingering in the air.

you weren’t exactly the most confident person, but was anyone really? did people really wake up in the morning, look at themselves in the mirror and say, ‘wow, i look beautiful today.”? tell themselves they’re going to have a good day because they said so?

so when you’d spent your whole life living in the shadows trying to blend in and just do your job, one day an ever observant spencer reid saw you struggling to carry your coffee and your bag into the bullpen and came to your rescue before it could spill all over you. you were a mumbling mess, uttering thank you’s and i’m so sorrys and i’ll be more careful next time. but his gaze on you was unwavering, even in the face of your uneasiness, and firmly but softly told you nothing was wrong, and suggested that maybe you and him should get coffee before work to avoid this rush next time.

falling in love with him was too easy after that.

spencer never failed to make you feel cherished, loved, safe, always going above and beyond to care for your needs and wants. the trust you had in him was immense and you knew he would never steer you astray.

so sitting in front of him on his bed while he adorns a small smirk asking, no telling, you to sit on his face, made you falter a bit.

“you want me, to sit on your face?”

he nods, “yeah.”

any thought you’ve ever had vanishes from your brain, “b—but, won’t it be uncomfortable? for you?”

“not at all.”

seeing spencer be surprisingly calm about this is having the opposite effect on you, creating the unsettlement in your gut. like he’s been thinking about this for while, has wanted you at his mercy in a way you haven’t experienced before, has thought through all the facts and possibilities and ruled with absolute certainty that this was what he wanted, needed. and right now your body is betraying your mind as the heat pools between your legs.

but that brain of yours, a blessing with its vast knowledge but a curse at how easily a single thought can send you into a deep spiral, is working overtime to convince you that this isn’t really what he wants.

he can see the cogs working overtime and scoots closer to you and places a comforting hand on your thigh to rub soothing shapes with his thumb, “what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

“nothing i-“ you stop before you can get too deep.

his eyes look at you expectantly, luring you to continue.

“what if i hurt you?”

“that is literally impossible.”

“what if i suffocate you?”

“then that would be a great way to go out.” he chuckles.

you lightly slap his leg, “stop that.”

he gestures you closer to sit curled into his side, a comforting arm smoothing you up and down. “if you really don’t want to do it that’s okay i don’t want to push you, just want you to feel good s’all.”

you ponder for a minute, “…you would tell me if it’s too much right?”

“i would,” he nods, “but i won’t need to.”

he squeezes your hand in reassurance, and you remember that spencer reid would never lie to you.

which is why you say, “okay.”

his eyes light up like a carnival, “yeah?”

you take a deep breath, “yeah.”

“come here,” cupping your cheek to bring in and kiss you.

it starts off slow, deliberate. like he wants you to know how much he appreciates you placing your trust in his possession, and how gently and carefully he’s going to take care of it.

you hike a leg over his lap to straddle him and wrap your arms around his neck, letting his lips mark you like a road map. he moves down your jaw and uses his nose to nudge your neck away, giving him better access to litter the skin with love bites.

the moans spilling from your mouth spur him on, he starts subconsciously bucking his hips up causing you to grow restless for more.

he senses this and motions for you to lift up on your knees above him so he can slide his body down flat between your legs. the warm palms of his hands rest where your thighs meet the swell of your ass.

you look down at the sight of him laid out for you, and catch his shit eating grin staring back. the dichotomy this position gives you with a sense of power to be over him like this but the vulnerability at feeling so exposed caused a swirl of emotions for you.

“hey,” he squeezes his palms laid on your ass, “if this is a lot, that’s okay.”

“no, no.i think i want this. i’m just scared.” you softly admit.

“nothing to be scared of, angel. it’s not like i haven’t eaten you out before, it’s just a different position,” his hands move closer to your core, “let me make you feel good, please.”

you stare into his eyes once more, being met with nothing but trust and lust for you. with a deep breath, you nod your head.

he smirks again, “alright sweetheart, take a seat.”

you slowly inch your body up his own, hearing him outwardly groan as your cunt came into his line of sight.

“jesus fuck, you have the prettiest pussy.”

you preen at his words once you’ve reached the position, and you hover in hesitation. he wraps his arms under and around your legs and gently pulls you down.

and he attacks you like a man starved. his tongue licking a full stripe up your cunt, letting it swirl around your clit. the feeling is so intense in this position you have to lean forward and brace yourself on the headboard.

with a gasp you whine out his name, “oh my god, fuck.” he continues to use his tongue to barrel you towards your peak, knowing exactly where to touch and lick to rile you up.

he can tell you’re still holding back, feeling the tense muscles in your upper thighs harden under his touch. with a sharp tug he pulls you to be seated fully on his face, and he lets out a deep groan that vibrates through your whole body.

you’re fully at his mercy now, held down by his large hands and his mouth working so hard to make you see stars. the pleasure is overtaking all of your senses, when you look down to meet his eyes they’re staring right back at you, reveling in your ecstasy. a languished moan leaves you as you tangle your hands in his hair and pull.

he laps up your arousal with urgency, tongue moving in such a delicate and intricate way you would think he’s writing a love letter with it.

the coil in your gut starts to tighten and you can feel your peak coming fast, “spence…” you whine.

he hums in response, silently acknowledging what you mean. one more slow lick up and down your slit was all it took to push you overboard. the endorphins rush over you like a tsunami as you try to ride out the wave of your orgasm.

spencer doesn’t stop his motions and continues to work your overly sensitive clit, gripping your legs tighter to him as he prevents you from escaping.

“shit, oh god baby, you need to st—stop.” you brokenly moan out. you tug on his hair hard as you try to release his grip on you, and after a few minutes he takes pity and lets you go.

you let out a big and tired sigh as you flop to the side of him, one leg still draped over him as you’re both panting heavily, attempting to come down from the heat of the moment.

he smoothes out the leg over him with his hand and turns to face you, face plastered with a stupid grin and glistening with you.

“see? that wasn’t so bad.”

you scoff breathlessly, “i think maybe you’re trying to kill me.”

“maybe,” he laughs, “ but you liked it right?”

you nod bashfully, “did you…like it?”

his eyes widen, “are you kidding? you looked so hot it drove me insane. you’re always so beautiful but having you like that…i like making you feel good, it makes me feel really good, and that is a win-win.”

you smile at him and move closer to fit under his arm and into his side, your hand resting on his chest. he tightens his arm around you and whisper, “i love you.”

“i love you too,” you say through hooded eyes. your hand starts trailing lower, “must have been really good for you seeing how painful this looks.” you softly say, gesturing to the aching bulge in his boxers, the dark patch stained by precum.

his breath hitches as you inch closer, “baby, no it’s okay. you don’t have to do th—“ the sentence gets cut off when your hand gives him a tentative squeeze.

“i don’t have to, but i want to. i should thank you somehow for making me feel so good,” your voice dropping an octave in lust, “will you let me show my thanks, honey?”

you stare at him with the sultriest doe eyes he’s ever seen, and he’s thoroughly convinced in that moment that you are, in fact, trying to kill him.

still a great way to go out, he thinks.

[caesium-55]

—seven days. [ iii ]

pairing: max verstappen x manager! reader.

summary: as the third time world champion, max verstappen's manager, you function on the belief that whatever max verstappen wanted, max verstappen shall get. but this time, after four years of working as his manager, you can't give him what he wants anymore and that was to stay.

author's note: hi hello welcome to part three. i flunked the quiz. lemme know what you think. NOT BETA READ. NOT EDITED. this chapter kinda sux. can't believe i went through a breakup just last week and i still cant write decent post-breakup scenes.

tags: @whatamidoingwithmylife-ramdom @eugene-emt-roe @bellezaycafe @barnestatic @theseerbetweenus @wcnorris @notyouraveragemochii @lpab hope i didn't forget anyone.

masterlist.

you: *sent a link*

him: ?

him: what's this

you: benefits of crying

you: read it it's enlightening

him: some people do not cry over a breakup you know and that is totally okay

you: why crying helps.

you: 1. tears release toxins, stress hormones to be specific. it is good to let all the bad energy out.

you: 2. it aids sleep. no need for further explanation.

you: 3. crying releases oxytocin and endorphins. i know you don't know what an oxytocin or an endorphin is but they're happy chemicals.

you: 4. crying helps you receive the support you need from the people around you. EMOTIONAL VULNERABILITY is okay, max. stop treating it like an STD.

him: it feels like an std

you: pussy

you: emotional vulnerability is a thing and it's normal so stop trying to be a big strong man when you're barely holding it together.

you: you may look fine now but i know you

him: please stop

you: no

you: 5. crying has a self soothing effect. very nice actually. it activates the rest and digest system.

him: what even is that

you: the parasympathetic nervous system

him: ??

you: this is why you shouldn't have dropped out of high school

you: education is important yknow

you: youre already lacking in three forms of intelligence, academic, emotional n social intelligence

him: fuck you im smart

you: fuck you 2 and yeah you're smart but only in geography

you: you probably can't do your taxes

him: im dutch so the company's account department do it for me by default

him: the american system is just weird

you: cant argue w/ u there

you: also, 6. crying helps restore emotional balance

you: see? you need that

you: yknow now that i think abt it you should consider seeking therapy

him: what makes you think i’m not in therapy right now

you: well have you considered getting MORE therapy?

You stand in front of the body mirror, holding the Red Bull polo shirt against your body to see how it looks on you for one last time. On your right sleeve, the word MANAGER is written in bold, white text. Because that was what you were. Just a manager.

In another universe this is not the shirt that you’d be wearing. The MANAGER would have been ENGINEER. In another another universe where your family has been well-off enough to continuously send you to karting school and you would have been the one driving the fucking car by now.

You know, if Max has even tried talking to Horner and suggested that you should be moved into the engineering team, then you wouldn't be stuck wearing this god-awful polo that burned your skin every time you wore it for work. Everybody reduced you as Max’s American manager and because you are American, most of them kind of just assumed that you're dumb, you know?

Does the world even know how smart you are? That you graduated top of your class, got the best thesis award, and that you had finished your masters just this year? Did they even know that a Japanese car company wanted you on their research team? That a NASCAR team wanted you on board as one of their engineers? Does Max even know?

Fuck no. He only knows that you're the best at ironing clothes and organizing his Google calendar and memorizing his entire coffee order by heart. He knew you're good at extinguishing kitchen fires and kicking ass in YSL Opyum heels. You doubt he knows that you can do Calculus in your sleep.

You can take it if the world puts you down for your appearance. But if the world puts you down because of your intellect? That's a different story. You'll take any insult to the face but not to your intelligence.

You have four days left in Monaco so you have begun packing already. You're right, everything did fit into three suitcases. Also, you haven't told Max yet. For some reason, you’re too anxious. Which is shocking to say the least because you never ever gets anxious when it came to Max Verstappen. You wouldn't have lasted this long working alongside Max if you were a pussy.

Max Max Max Super Max Max—

“[Name] here. Need anythin’, champ?”

Hearing a sob on the other end of the line immediately activates your fight or flight response. Your eyes widen and you toss the Red Bull shirt aside. Your legs leads you to the nearly empty shoe rack stationed beside the front door, grabbing the pair of shoes at the very top of the tiny shelf and throwing them on.

“I’m comin’ there. Hang on, Max. You wait for me, okay?”

He doesn't answer, just continuing to sob and the sound absolutely breaks your heart.

You run to his penthouse at a speed that will even put the RB19 to shame. Not even bothering to knock, you barge in and yell his name in the empty halls of his penthouse. You search in the kitchen. He's not there. The living room. Not there either. The room where his simulations are. Not there. You run to his bedroom upstairs.

The door is locked. Dammit. Panic overflooded your system.

“Max, sweetheart, you there?”

No answer, but you can hear a faint sound behind the door if you press your ear against the wood. Firefighter training covered how to open a fucking door when it was locked so this once again becomes a situation where you're grateful that you did that tiring and borderline suicidal volunteer work.

Max keeps a fire extinguisher inside his penthouse as per your advice. There is one stationed in almost every room inside his house. You knew there is one inside his room and another one just at the end of the hallway. You make a quick run for it and once you have the extinguisher in your hands, you run back to his door.

“Step away from the door!” you instructed while your mind mentally calculates your payment plan as you hit the door knob with so much force, the walls tremble at your strength. You're functioning on pure adrenaline. Your instincts only yell one thing and that is: go to Max. No one and nothing in this world will keep you from him. It isn't long until his bedroom door broke down. With one last final kick, it crumbles down from its hinges and you forcefully pry it open and sprint inside.

Max tucks himself in the tiny space in the corner of his huge bedroom, his knees shoved up to his chest. A 181-cm tall man trying to make himself as small as possible.

This is it. This is the bottled-up emotions he's been storing since Abu Dhabi. You cannot say you have not anticipated this. Max is bound to explode sooner or later.

Panic attacks have made a home in Max’s body since he was a child. That's what one gets when they’re parented by someone like Jos Verstappen. He killed Max’s soul and made the boy a machine and for what? To shape a child into a man, a racer that he wanted to be but failed to become at the cost of Max's mental health and childhood.

When Max looks up with that heartbreaking look on his face, you almost crumble. Almost, because you cannot crumble. Not when Max needs you.

Sometimes, you forget what it took for Max to become the champion that he is today. A childhood sacrificed for his dominance on the tracks. A whole lot of hatred from the people to become a WDC. And now, a love lost for his third consecutive championship.

“You came,” his voice cracks towards the end.

Your eyes soften, “You called, Max. Course I’ll come.”

You barely brace yourself for the impact that is Max’s body wrapping around yours in a tight hug. The man have literally launch himself from the floor to you at sixth gear speed. You stumble backwards slightly, holding his bed for support so the both of you won't fall down.

“Max—”

“No,” he whispers and his grip on your tightens as if he's afraid that you’ll slip away if he even tried to give your lungs space to breathe. “Don't speak. Stay.”

What Max wanted, what Max would get. So you shut your mouth, shuffle slightly so he'll be in a more comfortable position and allow him take whatever he wants from you. This will be the last chance he’ll ever do it anyway because in four days time, you’re flying to Texas.

You stay for what is probably hours in that position. Crumbled together on the floor, leaning against the side of Max’s king-sized bed. Your shirt is completely damp from his tears but you cannot even bring yourself to care about it.

“Your shoes…” It's the first time Max has spoken since the start of his meltdown.

“Hm?” you turn your head and your nose nuzzles against his hair, making you scrunch it up a little. His hair is tickling your nostrils. If you lean a little forward, your lips will meet the skin of his temple.

“They’re mismatched.”

Brows furrowed, your eyes move to your feet and see that Max is right. Your shoes are indeed mismatched. On your left is one of your Adidas slides and the other is your slip-on Skechers. You ran from one building to another in mismatched shoes. Fucking embarassing.

“Ignore them.”

Silence.

“You good now?”

“No.”

“Okay,” you say. “If you want to talk, I’ll listen.”

You hear Max let out a shaky breath, “Just stay for a while. Don't leave me alone.”

“Okay.”

Eventually, you manage to talk Max out of the hug. You're beginning to feel claustrophobic but you do not want to say it out right so you try to negotiate instead. That's how you and Max found yourselves inside his kitchen again. You're trying to replicate your Abuela's cheesecake, which she was known for back in Austin, and Max is…well, he's Max and he’s trying to be helpful in any way he can. If it's some other day, you'd have shoved him out of the way because you prefer working alone in the kitchen. Having eyes on you gives you anxiety. But given today’s circumstances, you do not have the heart to make Max leave so you task him with doing the little stuff like mixing things and throwing shit to the trash can nearby. And he does so splendidly.

“Thank you, by the way.”

“For what, baby?” You internally wince at your own slip of the tongue. Damn that habit of yours of calling people with affectionate call signs. Thankfully, Max seems to have not noticed it.

“For coming here.”

You shrug.

“I only did what you did for me in 2021.”

Again, your breakup with Leo was bad bad. You spent a month crying for a love lost and Max was there for you. For the most part, at least. You want him to focus on winning and winning alone that you pushed him away a lot of times but you appreciated how he was more obedient to your commands, that he held his tongue so he wouldn't piss you off even though he was not liking your words, and that he was considerate of you.

“I hope you won't go into fights though,” you chuckle. “Like I did after my breakup.”

He smiles, shaking his head lightly and you know he's recalling the memory. 2021 is a hilarious year for you, the Red Bull manager. You went viral after getting into a cat fight with a girl and a whole fist fight with her boyfriend.

You and Leo called it quits a week before Monaco and even though it had been four races since then, your heart was still in a quite fragile state at that specific race weekend. One minor inconvenience was enough to ignite a wild blaze of fire within you and nobody could extinguish the flames.

After Silverstone FP1, you were leading Max to the cool down room to brief him with Horner’s relayed instructions and someone had thrown a glass bottle towards the both of you while walking. Originally, Max was the main target of the bottle but you happened to have moved towards the line of trajectory and the bottle landed on your temple, hard enough that you stumbled upon impact.

You barely heard Max’s shocked gasp and shout of panic over the sound of glass shattering on your foot because the only thing you could register was the terrifying feeling of a thick liquid trickling down the side of your face and you didn't even need to see it to know it was blood.

The only thing you saw was red and it was on fucking sight.

Fucking Hamilton fan. Fucking Hamilton. He’s in Max’s way. He’s in your way. He’s the wall that was dividing you from your dream position in the engineering team.

You shoved the iPad you were holding to Max’s hands and marched down to the woman wearing the Merc #44 merch, swiftly jumping over the barricade and grabbing her by the collar of her pristine white Versace top.

The events that followed were too fast. You grabbed her collar. She pulled your hair. You also pulled her hair. Someone pulled her away from you. You tried to grab her, clawing her bare arms with your manicured nails. She screamed. You screamed back. You pulled out some curse words in Spanish as well because cursing her in one language alone is not enough. Her boyfriend appeared. A quick punch to your cheek. You fell to the ground.

The world stood still. There was a sting on your palm because your skin got torn from the hard surface of the concrete ground. You let a bloodcurdling war cry and your Dad would definitely be disappointed at you for using the boxing techniques he taught you for self defense purposes only to fight a guy two times your size.

Everything was a bigger blur from there. But you did remember the sensation of Max’s strong arms around you, stopping you from lunging forward again. He was saying sweet words to your ear to calm you down but your brain failed to intercept them so you could hear the words, could hear his voice, but not understand any of it. You remember Christian Horner's disappointed face that haunted you even two years later. You remembered feeling so terrified as you sat outside Christian Horner’s office waiting for the final verdict while he and Max and a few of the Red Bull higher-ups argued about your future with the team. You remembered hearing Max’s loud snarl on the other side of the mahogany door: “Did you see her face?! There was blood everywhere! On her nose, on her mouth, on the fucking side of her head!” You remembered the girl taking the case to court. You remembered fearing that you’d be sent to jail. You remembered that she lost the case because it was ruled as self defense and your injuries were grave. You remembered discovering that it was Max who used all his power and got the best lawyer to fight your case. You remembered the atmosphere in the Red Bull garage shifting when you entered it a few weeks later and everyone stared the bandages and bruises. Everyone thought one thing: of course, it would also take a monster to manage a monster like Max Verstappen. You remembered Lewis Hamilton, seven-time world champion, apologizing personally for the fight caused by his own fan. He didn't need to but he was so sincere with it that you cried when he handed you the apology flowers. God, how could you even hate this man? Your anger towards him was misplaced.

You’d been living with the guilt ever since, that you were horrifyingly violent for a day, that you were capable of killing for a day. And it could happen again. One day. God, you hoped you wouldn't have to see that day. You knew all your coworkers have been careful with angering you ever since. They're terrified of you even. Max should be, too. But then again, why would he when he already saw the horrors done by his father’s hands ever since he was a child? He was used to it.

“I won't,” he says, smiling at you. “I wouldn't want to add anymore problems for you to clean up.”

But you will not be the one cleaning it up because you resigned. You didn’t tell that to him though. Not right now. He just had a meltdown over Kelly leaving him and the news of his manager leaving him too will destroy him.

The cheesecake is a little burnt when you take it out of the oven but it actually adds more flavor to it so yeah, that's a win.

“We should drink,” you suggest.

“It’s mid-afternoon.”

“We drank at mid-afternoon yesterday,” you give him a blank stare. “With Alex and Charles, remember?”

He doesn't say anything as you make your way to his fridge and pull out two bottles of beer. Max has champagne stored somewhere but you have enough of those expensive champagnes. You need beer. Beer is good. Beer is nice. You're a beer type of person and it is time Max becomes one, too.

“I’m no scientist,” you begin, biting off the beer’s bottle cap. “But according to chemistry, alcohol is solution.”

Well, technically, edible alcohol or ethanol is not a mixture. Rather, it's a pure substance that happens to be a liquid at room temperature and typical atmospheric pressure. Pure ethanol is not a solution. Hard spirits though? That's a solution.

Beer is not a hard spirit. It's more of a fermented drink. But Max doesn't know that, though, so you don't bother explaining the science behind it.

Somewhere down the road, the two of you move to his living room. You use the Youtube app in his TV to search karaoke video and have the bestest time of your lives. You're screaming along some Daddy Yankee and El Alfa songs and Max doesn't know how to speak Spanish so he’s just vibing to it.

At 5 PM, you pull out Max’s expensive vodka bottle. Now this is the real shit. The ten bottles of beer? Those are just pregame. Max is already drunk with just those because he’s a pussy but you’re no pussy, so the only right answer is vodka! Viva la vodka or whatever.

Your throat gets tired of singing and Max gets tired from dancing, too, so you both decide to just go entertain yourselves in other ways. First, you introduced Max to beer-pong. He loses, of course. He sucks at everything not racing. Then, the two of you move onto chess. Max gives up mid-game. He cannot understand the rules. Then, lastly, you move to the billiard table Max owned. He only used it when the other guys are over and you do not even know why he bought it when he sucked at playing billiards.

“You know what Kelly said the morning before the race?” Max suddenly says and you look up at him, brow raising slightly. He’s drunk; his skin is flushed and he is all giggly and smile-y as he sits on the billiard table’s side rail and using the billiard stick as some sort of support stand to keep him from falling. You hope he won't accidentally poke himself. You're no better, too. Ten beer bottles and a few glasses of vodka. But you’re not as drunk as Max, and you still have a straight vision and you can still sink the colored balls into the pockets of the billiard table.

“Hm?”

“That it was unfair for her.”

You raise a questioning brow, “Why?”

“I bought shoes and they don't fit her.”

You blink. He laughs at himself as if he has uttered the funniest joke in the world.

“Three years of relationship gone because of a single pair of shoes,” he continues. “She wanted those shoes, too.”

Kelly….what the fuck?

“But that's okay. She….She made me open my eyes, you know? She made me realize what I truly love.”

“Racing.” It's not even a question. It's the truth.

Max stares at you, long and hard, and you look away first because you fear that if you allow yourself to stare too long, you’ll drown in those beautiful blues. This is enough heartache for the day. No need to add more.

“Hey [Name],” he begins. “If I asked you to kiss me, would you do it?”

[gilverrwrites]

Im back on my supernatural shit, can you please do TFW + Gabe and anyone else you wanna do reacting to finding out the reader had a dirty dream about them?

Author note: Me too Boo, me too. I added lucifer, just cause I wanted too. Hope you enjoy! I also switched things up with gifs for each instead of one image for everyone. Lemme know which one you guys prefer.

Rating: M/18+

Please remember: that it is enough to exist as you are.

Dean

You’ve never seen a bigger shit-eating grin in all your life; he looks like he hit the jackpot.

No matter how much or how little you tell him, he won’t stop making jokes or bragging how bad you want it.

Dean I need you t- “Yeah you do.” Stop it! “Bet you weren’t saying that in your dreams last night.” *Gesturing at something even remotely suggestive* “Hey hey hey, did we do that?”

He promises to stop if you give him the full run down.

And when you do, he’s like Christmas came early.

All wide eyes and dopy smiles, occasional blushing.

He’s got a million and one questions throughout, but the final and most is obviously: “You wanna go at the real thing?”

Sam

Immediate shuts down for like 5 minutes. His brain has to comprehend and then reboot.

He won’t joke or make fun of you, at least not in front of other people.

But as soon as you’re alone, he’s got questions, lots of detail-oriented questions.

He’s not outright asking what your dream was, just teasing you with meticulously detailed fantasies of his own posed as questions.

“Did I make you beg for it? Did you make me beg?” “Were you completely naked, stretched out underneath me? Were my hands around your throat?” “What did I say? Did I tell you I would ruin you? That you deserved it? Did you want me to?”

Castiel

Angels don’t dream. Primarily because they don’t sleep.

So, he’s not really sure what to make of this confession at first.

Queue the signature furrowed brow and head tilt.

“Why?” I don’t know, I didn’t do it on purpose! “That’s true. I suppose this is your mind’s subconscious way of informing you that you are sexually attracted to me."

Boy, he doesn’t beat around bushes.

He would need time to stew on it from there.

It could be hours, days, maybe weeks before he brings it up again.

“I am curious about your dream.” What dr- oh right. “I am flattered. Should you be willing, I would like to discuss this more. For example, which of us…”  

Gabriel

You can sense the raised brows and the satisfied smirk before he even does it.

“Reeeeeally?”

Gabe’s reaction is very similar to Deans, just like a Trickster in a candy store.

Only he’ll wait to get you alone before he starts bombarding you.

If you won’t tell him outright, he’ll keep guessing.

And every new guess is accompanied by a costume and/or scenery change.

“Maybe we filmed the newest instalment of casa erotica?” “No? Maybe you paid Dr Sexy a visit?” “Mile high club?” “No? Kinkier? You into a little BDSM?”

I’ll let you fill in the visual blanks. 😉

Lucifer

His reaction is a lot more subdued. 

That doesn’t make it any less dubious. You can feel the smugness radiating off of him.

He’ll ask earnestly enough to start out.

“Do you want to tell me about it?”

When you refuse, he doesn’t push. Doesn’t joke, or tease.

But the smile he keeps giving you.

The way he watches you, totally engrossed but poised, is enough to drive you crazy.

When he finally asks again, later on, in that low, relaxed tone:

“Are you sure you don’t want to tell me all about your dirty little fantasies?”

Temptation really is his game.

[satansdarlin]

can i request headcanons for the monster trio plus ace with a Fem!reader on her period?

Sure! Some of these are based off of personal experience of what my boyfriend does for me

Period headcanons (monster trio, plus ace)

Warnings: talk of blood (obv), slightly suggestive in ace's part.

Masterlist

Luffy

Man does not get it at first. Straight up thought you were dying.

But after some explanation from Robin, you, and Nami beating him, he finally gets it.

Still doesn't understand it in full but gets the most part

This man is now glued to you hip, even going as far as to deny playing games with usopp and chopper.

He kinda treats it like you are recovering from a injury

So obviously you need help with everything in his mind

Taking a bath? Now luffy has to sit in the bathroom and make sure you don't hurt yourself

Hungry? Omg so is he!

You wanna lay in bed all day? He's gonna cuddle you for most of it

Once he discovered the chocolate thing he made sure you had what kind you wanted.

In short luffy is the kind of boyfriend to constantly be beside you during your period if he can help it.

"Y/N can bleed for days and still be able to work! She's so cool right?!"

Sanji

Ngl man has been prepared for this day

He knows your cycle better than you do man

Like he is prepared with extra blankets

Red meats to help you recover the iron you loose

Mentally prepared for any mood swings you might have

And has stocked up on a stash of snacks just for you during this time

While he is the most attentive and loving during this he is also the absolute worst in the best way possible

He's just trying to be helpful and you know that

But he is also making you eat liver and kidneys because you need the protein and iron

Also the type to just straight up scream at anyone who bothers you during this

You are his baby. Gotta keep you safe and happy especially when you are aching

"Come on, sugar. Eat the kidneys it's good for you- LUFFY DONT YOU DARE EAT THAT"

"But she doesn't want it"

"Shut up stupid. Come on now honey eat the food I even have some chocolate chip cookies waiting after you finish this"

Zoro

Unbothered king

Straight up just doesn't care about bloody sheets or mood swings

He kinda thought you had a wound at first that you had hidden from him and freaked the fuck out

But after some explanation and him examining you just to be sure, he understood.

Makes you drink water the whole time

Does not care if you complain about being bloated. you are drinking those eight glasses a day

Naps with you during your sleepytimes

Will hold his hand on your stomach to apply pressure when you ask

But will also make jokes about you being his ketchup packet

Will go shopping for your tampons, pads, period cups. Doesn't know what any of them are so he asks Nami and robin for help

Comes back with something from every brand he could find and is now deeper in debt to Nami

Also straight up growled at someone when he could see they were annoying you???

He is now your social shield. Will tell someone where they can shove it if they don't fuck off and let you rest.

"607...608...609....610- oh. Nap time already? Alright alright I'm coming woman- did you just call me your cuddle bear? No I'm not blushing shut up"

Ace

Ahem. Ace? More like living heating pad.

More than happy to hold you the whole time

Nice and cozy against those warm man titties 🤌

Anyway. He is absolutely one of the best about things

Completely indifferent if you snap at him. Understands that you are just easily frustrated and also sympathizes with you cause he can't imagine feeling like he wasn't in control of his own emotions

Nap time? Great! He sleeps more than you.. actually he might have a iron deficiency now that I think about it

Warm hands on belly at all times

Will knead at your belly to help soothe out any cramps

None of these men care about blood. It's just the pirate way.

Has his red wings. You know what I mean ;)

"Here, lemme warm you up. Sh sh don't cry, you aren't bothering me at all baby"

[rhey-007]

The Mystery of Love

Fernando Alonso family fluff

|| P4 of Fernando Alonso x goth mommy!reader

• | socialmedia au

Summary: The results of little bunny's little competition are here! Along with some new interesting rumors... 👀

Warnings/Tags: fluff, family fluff, female reader, y/n, kids, dad Fernando, mom reader

A/N: You can't even imagine how much I enjoy making this series :))

If anyone would liked to be added to the taglist or has any suggestions for the next part lemme know!

Masterlist

✧༺🌊༻✧

TWITTER

•user1: I'm rooting for Logan and Williams!

→ •user2: Me too! Benny seemed to have the most fun with him!

•user3: Y/N or Klaus should make a fan vote pool for extra points xD

→ •user4: naaah only Chiquito's voice matters

F1 NEWS

TWITTER

•user5: Have you seen how Nando was looking at Y/N and kids??? Ain't no way they're JUST friends

→ •user6: EXACTLY they both literally had hearts in eyes as they looked at each other and down at Benny!

→ •user7: meanwhile Klaus

→ •user8: more like

→ •user9: he kept texting someone and smiling to his phone, suspicious...

•user10: has anyone else noticed Fernando's hand on Y/N's waist or was it just my delulu self?

→ •user11: I DID TOO! and how he squeezed it from time to time!

→ •user12: check out the interview with Lance. They're standing in the back and you can see Fernando soothing Y/N's back whenever she tenses up

→ •user13: my heart's gonna melt... 🫠

→ •user14: and they keep saying they're just friends 🧍‍♀️

INSTAGRAM

TWITTER

•user15: is that Klaus???

→ •user16: Yup!

•user17: NOW WE KNOW WHO HE TEXTED KDHEKDHDNDH

•user18: they look so cute together!

•user19: ahh... Young love... 🫠😍

•user20: they together or what?

→ •user21: not confirmed but seemed to flirt with each other (at least Klaus with Bluebell)

→ •user22: who is she anyway?

→ •user21: Christian Horner's eldest daughter

→ •user22: ooooh... Christian's not gonna be happy 😅

•use23: Klaus - grumpy whenever he has to attend a race or spend time with Fernando

Also Klaus - wears Aston Martin T-shirt

→ •user24: it highlights his eye color xD

✧༺🌊༻✧

Tag list: @morgan-getty @lichterfee @ashy-kit

[snaillock]

hello!! can you reccomend any male reader bllk writers/fics? :3

yaarrssss lemme make a list

★ prince sae x knight reader

this fic right here? absolutely underrated treasure oh my goddddd!! (techically it’s gn😓 but i do highly recommend it for male readers) yall please read this especially if you’re a royal!au enjoyer or just a general sae enthusiast. unfortunately the writer isn’t active anymore but they do have some more snippets related to this au

★ michael kaiser oneshot

another amazing oneshot and it’s made by one of my great amazing mutuals. i feel like it really reads into kaiser’s character very very well. the writer also does a lot of great male reader fics so be sure to check his stuff out!!

★ reo mikage angst oneshot

very very good angst. made me so upset that i wanted to throw my phone against the wall so i highly recommend

★ michael kaiser headcanons

super cute relationship headcanons and it really captures michael’s character very well. REALLY enjoyed this one

★ rin itoshi oneshot

i am a SUCKER for fics that capture rin’s secret soft side WHICH I KNOW HE EXISTS FOR SURE so this oneshot just fulfills that liking so much

★ transmasc comfort headcanons w/ multi characters

another absolute slay from one of my mutuals. content for transmascs is already so hard to find so reading something THIS good is truly a blessing

★ rin itoshi drabble

i feel like most people have read this one already but it’s basically a classic. its so so sweet and so so cute. definitely has a nice domestic feel to it

now for the writers! they make very nice quality male reader povs so i highly suggest you check them out:

@maochira

@kissagii

@leosxrealm

@misterdetectiveswag

@eliosty

if anyone has any suggestions/recs that they wanna see on this list, feel free to let me know!!

[running-with-kn1ves]

PUNISHMENT: A Reward

A/N: Decided to name our ‘PUNISHMENT’ fic boy Malachi, lemme know if this is a win or a fat L my scrumptious pogchamps. ALSO happy valentines day! (Posting this early let me be)

CW: Toxic relationship, possessive/obsessive behavior, suggestive themes, mentioning future seggsual acts/fantasies

Synopsis: Out on a group date for Valentine's Day with your possessive, jealousy-ridden boyfriend is never a good idea, especially when he finds the special surprise you’re wearing for him.

“Hrmm… seems like they have a lot of Valentine's themed stuff on the menu.” 

“Well it IS the season! No other reason for it being so packed in here...” One of your friends across the table perked up, slightly annoyed at the stuffy atmosphere.

She was right, every table was filled, every booth full of chattering couples or first blind dates, even double or thruple dates just like the one you were on. 

You were lucky your friend's boyfriend had managed to snag this place a week in advance, else you might be thigh to thigh with everyone else in a tinier booth. Ha, as if YOUR boyfriend would allow that; you'd probably be on the edge of the shared booth seat, nearly falling off just to save you from being ‘too close’ to anyone else, even your own friends. 

“Annoying… I don't get why going out on Valentine's Day is so important, what happened to dates in the privacy of your own home.” Said the devil you were thinking of, that comment nudging to how he was far more in favor of spending a “romantic” evening home alone with you instead of being here with your two friends and their spouses. 

“Awe, is puppy dog Malachi upset he has to share? We planned this weeks in advance, so suck it up, we have a right to see OUR friend tonight.” That same friend hissed. 

Your other friend nodded. He would’ve added on, if it weren’t for the death stare your boyfriend was currently drilling into everyone else across the table. You hadn’t been out in a group setting like this in… who knows how long.

“Oh, really? Don’t fucking--”

“C’mon you guys,” You grabbed onto Malachi’s thigh, a tight squeeze making him stop in his angry tracks to look down.”I’m here right now, shouldn’t we be catching up, not fighting? I missed you, missed this.” 

Your sincerity seemed to ease them up, a flash of contrition on your female friend’s face. She hated your boyfriend, clearly, wearing a scowl when she turned back to Mr. moody himself. He rested his face on his palm, looking at the other couples every now and again, always keeping a short glance at you out of the corner of his eye to make sure you weren’t having too much fun. 

One of the spouses --you had forgotten the name of by now after the evening’s short introductions-- had begun talking, complaining about coworkers or customers, one or the other. 

Wow, has it been so long that your friends have completely different lives now, new people that they spend their time with that you weren’t even told about? Well, its not like you’ve exactly been open to receiving that kind of news, or able to be, with so little time to make phonecalls lately, your phone always seeming to disappear, phone numbers no longer existing in your contacts… it was truly a miracle you managed to have this outing, and Malachi thought so too. 

“I swear if she prods at me again,” Your jealous guard dog of a boyfriend started, hand clenching the red, heart-embroidered table cloth.

“Take it easy, okay? I know you don’t want to be here but-- just do it a little longer, for me. Thats what we agreed, right?”

You took his hand in yours, bringing up his clenched fist to your lips. You thanked the skies that physical affection always seemed to drown out his fiery temper. You wondered how much longer that’d last. 

“Fine. But I can’t stand looking at them anymore, come ‘ere.” Malachi patted his thigh, hands moving to your hips to help bring you to your new seat. 

“Seriously? We’re in a.. A nice restaurant, with my friends--”

He gave you a knowing look, one that said ‘if you don’t listen, i’ll drag your ass back to the car without the pleasure of friendly goodbyes.’ 

You didn’t know if you could handle the embarrassing shit he put you through anymore. It tested the strength of your will and the integrity of your soul at this point. 

You did as he demanded, slowly making your way to sit on the edge of his lap. Most of those around you didn’t seem to notice, an occasional glance looking to see what you were doing, but ultimately going back to the lively story of one of the nameless significant others. You tried to hover above him, afraid to fully commit to sitting down on top of him, but a small ‘what are you doing’ and forced downward push of your hips made your butt make soft contact with his lap. 

“That’s right… that’s better.” He cleared his throat, putting one arm around your waist and the other on your knee. You directly blocked his view, your boyfriend not moving to see the rest of the group, instead leaning against you like a perfectly shaped body pillow. 

“Can’t you atleast act normal? Don’t you have any shame around other people,” You whispered, knowing that one of your friends was reading the uncomfortable expression on your face and was in turn, giving a similar expression of discomfort. 

“Hey, you know how bad I can be, this isn’t even the worst of it. You want me to really embarrass you?” 

A waiter  broke the quiet spat you were having with him, asking if you’d like another drink. He didn’t acknowledge the man behind you, either out of not seeing him or to purposefully avoid the dark eyes digging into his soul behind your shoulder. 

You croaked out a polite “yes please,” looking for your friend’s fellow responses. They all answered in kind, the waiter scurrying away to another busy set of tables. 

Malachi scoffed, coiling around you tighter. 

“D’you see that? I knew we shouldn’t have come out here, in front of prying eyes… bet he’s hit on every other pretty thing he’s seen walk in here, so don’t get any ideas.” 

 You almost turned around to gawk at your boyfriend, such an insensitive and insecure string of words wounding you. 

“I would never..” 

You almost let him ruin the rest of your evening, the dreadful pit of wanting to go home entering your tired mind. But you promised yourself you’d try to make an effort in repairing your friendships, attempting to memorialize your friend’s smiles and laughs, trying to come up with the names of their spouses you had just heard a half hour ago. If you wouldn’t see them again for a while, atleast you could have this. 

And with the two-second memory your boyfriend often displayed,(except for when it came to your “betrayals”) he was enamored with something new. 

“Oh, what do we have here…” Malachi tip-toed down the elastic waistband of your pants, looking at the lacey red lingerie underneath. It wasn’t hard to spot, not when it was a drastic change from your usual tame undergarments. Well, tame for him, he had seen them all at this point. 

You wouldn’t have noticed his prodding peculiarity if it weren’t for that worrying heightened pitch in his voice, one that always started trouble. Fingers nipping your tummy and around your wrist weren’t unusual, you had become accustomed to it from how he pawed at you at home, never seeming satisfied, but this, wasn’t the usual lack of personal space.

“Hey! You weren’t supposed to see that.” You slapped his hand away, having which already gotten a full touch of the goods you were hiding. 

“What is that supposed to mean--” Malachi started, and you knew he was about to expect the worst. You shut him up as fast as you could. 

“It’s supposed to be for tonight, idiot!” You whispered with a harsh tone, starting to get fed up with his childish reactions, which always seemed to jump to conclusions. “...Did you forget that it’s Valentine’s day or what?”

You barely let the words escape from between your teeth, not wanting to admit the silent internet escapade you went on to find something that wouldn’t tear your ass in half or be so tight you’d be left with more marks from it than him. But even so, after the sneaking around in trying to catch the package before he could and clearing out your emails as soon as possible, he still managed to see it before you had planned. 

Now, you wondered if it was worth it, with the lace itching your chest and the other giving you a wedgie. 

“awe.. no way, for me? All for me?” Malachi was promptly sweet on you, much different than the heel-biting mood he was in a short few minutes ago. 

You leaned back to get close to his ear, shifting your eyes anxiously. You really didn’t want your friends to know about the violently ravenous side of your boyfriend that wouldn’t stop him from making a scene about it here and now, which you anxiously tried to prepare for in case of the worst. “It’s for when we get back home…so lets just enjoy our time here, just sit still with me for a little longer.” You tried your usual ‘gentle parenting’ method, holding the heavy knuckles around your waist, to soothe him into letting you spend just a little bit longer with your friends.

Malachi kicked his feet, exasperating at this newfound interest and the ways he could torture you with it, could make you beg him for its secrecy. Oh how he could envision having you at his mercy, so cute and sexy but ultimately deserving punishment for going behind his back about something so temptatious, something another man could see and take if he weren’t there.  

“But now, baby I don’t know if I can wait.” He grinned, raking his teeth over his bottom lip so much it looked like it hurt. You felt him shift underneath you, leaning up to grind against your backside. “Man, you really should’ve hid it better, ‘cause now its all I can think about..”

You rolled your eyes, feeling his heavy exhale against your cheek. Your friends were too immersed in their own conversations with their loved ones to notice anything else, legs strewn over one another and fingers interlocked as they felt the cheap haze of their Sweetheart Cocktail’s and Rosé’s of Love. You would’ve much preferred to be tipsy along with them by now, but the truth is you were too nervous with the possessive man beside you to truly let loose anywhere other than alone. On top of that, the scolding you’d get from him for being so relaxed was not worth the extra headache. 

And yet, the wanton expression he held for you, the hands that fiddled to get deep and play with his surprise, made you feel so wanted. More wanted than your friends had  made you feel this evening. They just looked at you with concerned frowns and confused cocks of their heads as they questioned to why you were still with this crazed maniac. 

“What I would do to bend you over in front of these idiots, make you do more than say my name while wearing these adorable lacey little--” 

“Don’t tell me you’re already thinking of heading out.” Your female friend piped up, looking at the credit card Malachi put on top of the split receipt that has been sitting lonesome for a good while. 

He almost broke, annoyed at the sudden interruption. 

“Afraid so,” Your anticipating boyfriend gleamed, not even her sour attitude dampening the rising excitement in his perverted mind and tightening pants. “We have some other plans to attend to.”

“What could be more important than friends?” She asked, looking at you to advocate against your controlling spouse. 

You felt a greedy palm reach up your shirt, falling back down to paw for the thin garment below your waistline. 

“If we don’t go now.. I don’t know how much longer I can wait. Can’t promise that I won’t  rip these fucking shorts off you here to see what all is underneath.” He whispered against you through gritted teeth, barely able to stop from kissing you raw. 

“We’ll stay… just until the waiter comes back for his tip.” You choked out, not letting on about the roll of Malachi’s hips that pressed you up against the table. 

[tricktster]

how long have you been getting burritoed... i love the thought of you guys being together for five years and you still fall for it every time

Slightly NSFW warning but the full backstory for the burritoing is honestly very sweet and i can take absolutely no credit for it being so.

so it has not been five years, it’s only been five months, but given that my tolerance for being in relationships can usually be measured in weeks, five months with me harboring every single desire to keep this going is saying something. but rest assured the burrito thing has always been a threat in this relationship. lemme explain.

see, i met my boyfriend the most romantic way a person can, in that i hopped on tinder one friday when I was bored and he was the most interesting person that night to ask me to grab a drink with him the following week. I agreed, with every expectation that this was going to be a one night stand situation. This was because I had already concluded I would probably sleep with him since he was hot and funny over tinder/text but also, more importantly, because I had decided to plunge back into the dating world after several years of being resolutely single by having what my roommate described as “a wanton winter,” which is a nicer way of saying that I was here to sleep around without any strings remotely attached. I had every intention of this being followed by a slutty spring, sexually-available summer, and perhaps even a fuckboi fall.

All this to say, I was not looking for an actual relationship when I agreed to “grab a drink” with the man who is now my boyfriend. In fact, even though he was categorically hunky all-round? I was by this point in my wanton winter not even optimistically hoping for a good time. I had recently re-discovered that hunky meant absolutely nothing, and was still haunted by memories of sleeping with an extremely attractive massage therapist who was not only terrible in bed but also read me a very bad poem that he’d written afterwards and started crying about the state of his life at one point and also his mom called like 11 times while he was over. Like, my expectations were subterranean.

Now given this background, i presumed that this guy would follow the established pattern set by every other guy i’d hooked up with during wanton winter; we’d go back to my place, fool around, he’d leave, and i’d get occasional “u up” texts from him for the next few weeks until one of us ghosted etc. so like it was a surprise - but certainly not an unpleasant one! - when he asked (a little nervously) post-hookup if he could stay the night. he didn’t want to impose, he explained, but he had a day shift the next morning and it was really late and his house was 24 minutes away and while he didn’t want to be presumptuous he’d thrown what he needed in a backpack just in case and also he wanted to cuddle and be big spoon.

well. this was a deviation. this possibly suggested more interest than just a one night stand.

ideologically i was opposed to the threat this posed to my no commitments wanton winter lifestyle but given that he was significantly cuter and funnier in person than he’d been online and also that he had just absolutely rocked my entire world for several hours(!!!) i was just like “yeah homie you are more than welcome to stay,” and decided against issuing my standard warning whenever anyone proposes sharing a bed with me that “I do not tolerate people attempting to cuddle me in my sleep well so don’t be hurt when you find me as far from you as physically possible tomorrow, and also you may be kicked in the process of me rolling away, and my toenails are inexplicably sharp so you may bleed.”

and then, you know, suddenly the alarm was going off, and he was extracting himself, unwounded, from the big spoon position that I had not felt the unconscious need to escape from all night, and I was just internally like “haha! i might be in trouble!”

that mighta done it on its own, honestly, the whole bit about him being the sole exception i have ever encountered to my instinctual need for space when i’m sleeping. but he was not done. he quietly got ready while i was mulling this development over in a state of half consciousness, and then? instead of slinking out into the barely-morning, that motherfucker very gently rearranged the bedclothes to actually cover me, gave me a kiss, said he’d text me when he got to work, and then the bastard tucked me in.

he then left me, the victim of the cutest goddamn nonsense that has ever happened after a tinder hookup, to process this unexpected turn of events.

I concluded that I was, in fact, in trouble.

so like… needless to say, that act of tucking me in was the death knell for my wanton winter, as well as my adversarial relationship with the concept of developing feelings. I am an extremely crotchety housecat that doesn’t like to be crowded who has unprecedentedly fallen incredibly hard for a wildly enthusiastic golden retriever, and our relationship is foundationally based upon this man’s desire to make me all snug and cozy before he leaves.

the burrito aspect was merely an afterthought. it’s all about the tuck-in babey.

[kittievampire]

So long/odd request but hear me out

Mc and Lucifer are in a sugar-rotting relationship and brothers and undatebles react

Lucifer spoils Mc so much like…mammon gets in trouble he gets hung from the ceiling Mc does the same thing they get away scot-free Satan has been begging for a cat for eons nope! but Mc wants one of course. He gets them tons of expensive gifts and if Mc ever wants something they only have to bat their eyes at him. It's not like Mc is using him though they dot on him a bunch too. And whenever they get in a fight loud moans are followed within a few minutes (if you know what I mean) but feel free to ignore 💙

I was in the middle of class when I read this and I was WHEEZING

I am a firm believer in Lucifer spoiling the MC rotten and leaving his brothers to fend for them damn selves but denying any sort of favoritism

I only did the brothers this time, I hope that's okay 😭😭😭

Sorry this took so fooking long to make 🥲

Lemme see what I have in my bag, my dear~

Click here if you wanna request!

Warnings: Very suggestive, jealous bros lmao L

Enjoy.

You and Lucifer had been dating for a few months now. Though, one would think you'd just gotten together with the way the two of you treated eachother. Or maybe that you were newlyweds in your honeymoon phase.

Lucifer treated you like a goddess. There was constant praise and worship, he'd drop everything if you asked, and he'd spoil you rotten with his love. You would return the favor, of course. Every now and then you'd surprise him with a new cursed vinyl, which he'd listen to all night if not spending it with you.

However, the brothers believe that you're getting totally unfair treatment.

Mammon

Baby boy was spending a lot more money than usual

He was playing a new gambling game he'd downloaded on his D.D.D.

When Lucifer got home, he immediately scolded the second-born for a solid 45 minutes

He announced that Mammon was on "lock-down" and wasn't allowed to ask anything of anyone, nor was he allowed to spend money

He was hung from the ceiling

And Goldie was taken away, too

Mammon was pissed the fuck off

So, when he noticed you were spending a lot more money, he did tease you for being greedy

"Oi, human, ain't splurgin' on shopping supposed to be mine and Asmo's thing? Lucifer's gonna be on yer ass if ya spend too much. Just be careful."

He says this and is genuinely a little worried that he'd see you hung from the ceiling as well

Lucifer confronts you about it in front of Mammon

"My Love, may I know why you've been spending so much grimm recently?"

First off, Mammon didn't like how he started that

How come you got that sweet conversation starter?

What he got was, "Mammon, what have you been wasting your money on this time?!"

Though, he still suspected it'd go downhill, and that he'd need to jump in to protect you at some point

"Oh, just some things... I can't tell you what they are, but I promise this is a rare occasion, Luci." You said, gifting him a kiss on his cheek

Lucifer smiled at you. "Alright, as long as you're being responsible, I trust you."

...

WHAT?!

"WHAT?!" Mammon shouted, earning a slight jolt from you and a look of annoyance from Lucifer

"What, Mammon?"

The Avatar of Greed froze. "I-I-! Y-You—" He paused before letting out a small groan

"Nevermind. Forget about it, yeah?"

Leviathan

Snekboi missed roughly a week of school and wasn't attending his online classes

He was grinding this new game he got so he could keep his spot as one of the top players!

He just couldn't afford to take his attention off of his D.D.D. for a second, the price would be too high!

Of course, Levi ended up being scolded by Lucifer

"Your priority must be your studies, Levi, do you intend on dragging Diavolo's name through the mud?"

How Diavolo was relevant was beyond him

But, Levi still had to sit through a lecture

He also got his D.D.D. taken away from him for a week

Not only did he lose top-spot, but he lost a majority of his self-esteem as well

So, he was obviously worried when you started skipping as well

"Uhh, MC, I'm not sure you should stay home today. Lucifer's not too kind to those who slack off."

But, his warnings fell upon deaf ears

You decided to take a few days off, deciding that you just really didn't feel like going to RAD

You woke up with a migraine one day, couldn't get sufficient sleep the other, and you just took another day to catch up on sleep and what work you had

Leviathan actually tried to stop Lucifer when he saw him outside of your room

"Lucifer, maybe they were feeling really bad or something, I don't think punishing them is a good idea, please show mercy! They're just a human!"

"Quit your whining, Levi. Or do you want to be given the Mammon treatment?"

This made Levi yelp and cower behind him, watching as Lucifer knocked on your door

You answered it, and Leviathan bit his nails nervously

"Hey, Luci," You said, greeting him with a small kiss to the cheek

"My Love," He started softly. "Are you feeling alright? You haven't been attending your classes. Is something wrong?" He asked, a hand reaching up to caress your cheek.

Error 404 not found

Leviathan.exe has stopped working

You smile sweetly. "I'm okay, Lucifer, I just really wasn't feeling up for RAD these past couple of days. It's nothing to worry about, promise!" You say, quite enthusiastically.

...

NANI THE FUCK?!

Levi SWORE you were about to get bodied

But, no

Lucifer just smiled, chuckled softly, and left with an "Alright, take care of yourself, Love."

Bullshit

You're fucking hacking

Satan

Satan wanted to bring a cat into the HoL

Lucifer reminded him of how he brought more cats than were allowed and "turned the House of Lamentation into the House of Cats"

Very fucking salty about it, but ultimately got over it (for the most part)

He saw you bring a little feline home and immediately rushed to your side to help you take care of it

It was a stray with a few wounds from other cats

He helped you bandage it and feed it, all the goods

"MC, I must warn you that Lucifer isn't exactly fond of pets... Let alone cats," Satan said, stern gaze meeting yours

You tilted your head in confusion. "Why is that?"

Satan was a bit hesitant to tell you, so he gave you the shortened and sweet version

"We had a bit of a cat problem a while back, he just really doesn't like cats. Dog people, am I right?" He scoffed

"Satan, what did I say about bringing in cats?"

Satan lowkey jumped a bit and turned his head

The fuck did he come from, bro is teleporting or some shit

You immediately hold the kitty close to your arms, looking up at Lucifer with doe eyes

"Luci, I'm sorry! I was the one who took in the cat, but he was hurt! Please, can we just keep it for a little while, at the very least?" You begged, the black cat in your arms meowing at Lucifer

Satan sighed. He was about to tell you that it was no use, that Lucifer couldn't be bought or reasoned with on this topic. That may have been his fault and he was sorry, but there was absolutely no way Lucifer would budge on this-

"Fine."

...

...

Um

What

Satan sat there dumbfoundedly before the two of you as you continued to converse, trying to process the events that had just taken place

Lucifer said yes

To you

For a cat?

Huh...

He was upset for a mere moment, but then a light bulb went off in his mind

Perhaps he could use this to an advantage

Satan's definitely going to try and get you to be a wild card whenever him and Belphie are pulling pranks on Lucifer

Just so the eldest will be a little more lenient

Now he knew Lucifer's weakspot

He found himself laughing maniacally in his mind as he realized just how much him and Belphegor could do with you as a cushion whenever they'd get in trouble

Asmodeus

"But, Lucifer, all of products in my favorite cosmetic brand are going on sale today! I have to get every single one of them or else I'll be..." Asmodeus gasped

"Trashy!!" He cried out, practically leeching off of Lucifer's arm as he continued to beg

"Asmodeus, no! You and Mammon are both on lockdown for the rest of the month! Now, get off of me!"

Lucifer managed to pry his younger brother off of him and slammed ether door shut to his office, leaving a near-on sobbing Asmodeus in the library

That's when he heard you

"Lucifer, must you always be so rough on your siblings?" He heard you ask, making him gasp and sigh dreamily. "Oh, darling, you always come to my rescue when I need it!" He said, his voice not loud enough to penetrate the door

"MC, I suggest staying out of my family matters. They have nothing to do with you."

Asmodeus could tell from the other side of the door that an argument was likely about to ensue

However, when the two of you started raising your voices, he could also sense some... Arousal?

"Oh!"

"Oh."

It wasn't long before he could hear your moans and whimpers from the other side of the door, lewd slapping noises making him step back a bit

Asmodeus couldn't help but giggle a little

He honestly didn't mind this as much as his brothers did, he found it really entertaining that the two of you endulged in his sin after such a heated argument

Asmodeus approves 👍💖

Beelzebub

Poor baby gets scolded so often for raiding the fridge, especially late at night

He's usually told to go to bed, and that these late-night trips to the fridge aren't good for him, all that

He couldn't help it, it was his sin! That was no fair!

Lucifer ended up putting him on lockdown after 11pm, meaning no trips outside of his room whatsoever

Beelzebub would usually try to get some snacks into his room before that time, but he usually ran out rather quickly and was left with a rumbling stomach

That's when you came in, holding two arm-fulls of snacks

Quietly, you pushed the door closed with your foot

You knew Belphegor was a heavy sleeper, but you still wanted to be quiet anyway, so as not to wake the Avatar of Sloth

You saw the gluttonous ginger perk up when he saw you

"MC?"

You smiled, dropping down the snacks before him

"Lucifer didn't say I couldn't raid the kitchen. I figured you'd be hungry, so I got you some snacks."

Bro bear-hugs you

He lowkey almost breaks your spine with how tight he holds you

"Thank you, MC! Can I call you sister, please? Get married to him quick so I can call you sister!"

You blushed at this comment, chuckling softly

"I'm working on it, I guess," You choked playfully, patting his back

"Beel, I need to breathe."

Not really all too jealous

A bit sad, but he gets over it when you bring him food

Lucifer never says anything about it tho when he finds out you're the one who's causing such a snack shortage

Belphegor

He was constantly scolded for pulling all kinds of pranks on Lucifer

There was that time he threw his D.D.D. in the trash, lit his coat on fire

All harmless things

So, when he catches you attaching a can of whipped cream to... Something in the fridge, he immediately raises a brow at you

"Hey, what are you doing?"

"Ahhh, just setting up a little surprise," You chuckled out

At first, he thinks it's for Beelzebub, but Asmodeus had taken him shopping with him earlier with the promise of free food afterward

"For..." Belphie trailed off, hearing footsteps nearing the kitchen

Immediately you close the fridge and take your seat in front of a plate of food you'd made yourself earlier. "Sit down," You whispered to the Avatar of Sloth

As he shuffled to a seat next to you, he realized what you were up to and put a hand over his mouth

Lucifer walked into the kitchen, greeting you and the youngest with a smile and a "Good morning."

You picked up a piece of the pancakes in front of you with a fork, putting it in your mouth and humming to yourself. "Luci? Could you pass me the butter?" You asked softly

Lucifer nodded, turning and opening the fridge

Immediately, whipped cream sprayed all over his face, some falling onto his chest

Belphegor bursted into a fit of laughter, immediately giving you a high-five and wiping a tear from his eye as he clutched his stomach

"Oh, that was good!" He choked out in between laughs

Lucifer turned to look at the youngest, wiping off a large portion of the whipped cream on his face

"Belphegor, did you do this?"

You snickered beside him, looking up at Lucifer

"I thought you'd like a snack, Luci~" You hummed out, giggling softly

Belphegor mentally prepared himself for a 45 minute lecture

There was a pause, making him shift a bit in his seat as his laughter died down

Suddenly, Lucifer began to laugh

It started out small

Then, his laughter boomed in the room, bouncing off of the walls

"Huh,"

This confused the fuck out of Belphie

Like, ummmm what

"You've gotten me, MC, well done. I needed that laugh." He said, walking over to you and wiping some whipped cream off of him, putting it on your nose

He dismissed himself, saying he was going to wash this off of him

Belphegor was silent for a moment

"Hm?"

"You get laughter and boops after pranks and I get lectures and scoldings... Favoritism at it's finest. The Anti-Lucifer League could make use of this."

He'd explain more, but he was getting too sleepy

Shit was fun asf to write, thanks for requesting

I hope you enjoyed this, anon!

[motts-erella]

Hazbin Hotel Murder Drones AU: Master Post

I love both shows so much and someone on twitter suggested that my Alastor w/ mic-tail looked like a Murder Drone and I just was compelled to draw it.

It's very indulgent and I'm sure some characters would fit better with others, but this is what I came up with and I'm running with it! (If anyone wants to take their own spin on it, please lemme know I wanna see)

It's a Radioapple AU, with minor Adamsapple

It's also got flavors thrown in from a few popular theories

Character sheets, art and more below

Alastor is the Uzi Character, I vibe a lot with the idea of Alastor in the Eldritch!Form

A normal worker drone infected with Absolute Solver (which is Roo in this au!) Yes I gave the microphone teeth. I am so sorry. I imagine these versions of the characters are adults, instead of high schoolers to more vibe with Hazbin's character pool.

Here's a fully rendered art I did inspired from Episode 7. I really wanted to draw the lantern in the mic-tail's mouth

Lucifer is in N's position

An outcast among the Disassembly Drones. He has the biggest crush on Adam at the beginning of the story, but eventually develops feelings for Alastor

I like to think the Cyn in this au which is Eve/Roo gave him more wings then everyone else because he was nice to her.

Also look at him, he's baby, I wanna million of him

Adam takes V's position

He fucking LOVES being a disassembly drone, but after Al and Lu drag him into things he very quickly adapts and eventually becomes a part of the team. He ends up becoming the cool guy at the Worker Drone Colony

I went though a few incarnations before I found my final design for Adam:

Lastly for characters whom have art that I have finished here's Lute in the 'J' position.

She's sent down with Adam and Lucifer, and later is helping the Tessa character (who is Lilith). She's definitely the least fleshed out at the moment, and I might branch away from MD canon with her, but I do like her coming back with Lilith.

Like Adam figuring the exact style took a few tries:

Other cast members I have worked out include:

Tessa - Lilith

Cyn/Absolute Solver - Eve/Roo

Alice - Pentious (my beloved snake boi I'm so sorry maybe I'll save you in the au somehow)

Beau - Frank

[le-poofe]

Hello Poofe! Me again! (Srry if I pop into ur ask box too much- I'm a very chatty human-) Anywho I have a question! More of an opinion type! Do you think Grillby likes country music? If so, are there any country artists you think he'd enjoy? Very random question im just curious! Hope u have a fantastic day/night! ^^

This question is something I apparently didn’t know I needed. The second I read this, my neurons fired so hard, it’s like I’ve been waiting for this day. I put it all under the cut~

I grew up with country music Pandora stations as background music all the time at home, and I’ve listened to some for the general vibe when I’ve drawn Grillby/Sansby stuff. But I have yet to actually apply it directly like this. This may be longer/more extensive than you anticipated hehe, lemme crack open my arsenal. For extra flavor, everyone is in cowboy getup and Grillby’s is a saloon now-

Bartender by Lady A jumps out at me for obvious reasons hehe. This feels like something one of the regular npcs would play on the jukebox. Mayhaps Drunk Bun.

Little Bitty by Alan Jackson and similar ones could be a good one. In an au I can picture Snowdin residents having fun doing line dances in the bar. Very rare occurrence to get Grillbz to dance along. And even when you do, he’ll deny he did it. While we’re on Alan Jackson - Chattahhoochee, Tall, Tall Trees, Margaritaville, and It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere also feel fitting

3. Natural Disaster by Zac Brown is a fun juxtaposition to throw at Grillbz’ quiet demeanor. If you’re imagining him singing these, he’d pop off for the duration of the song and go right back to his calm collected self the second it’s over

4. This is a specific pull, but People Are Crazy by Billy Currington sounds like a song for someone talking to Gerson at the bar

5. Wagon Wheel by Darius Rucker is That One Song everybody plays on the bar jukebox, the regulars are sick of it but they can’t help singing along to the chorus

These next ones have less specific imagery to me, but are worth a mention imo 6. Ten Rounds with Jose Cuervo by Tracy Bird

7. Chicken Fried and Knee Deep by Zac Brown Band

8. These Are My People by Rodney Atkins

And while I’m at it, here’s some Sansby ones-

Project by Chase McDaniel is a cowboy au Sans @ Grillby song and you can't convince me otherwise

2. I Need You Now by Lady A is one that I think speaks for itself when you hear it

3. Just a Kiss by Lady A is soft, y’all know that I’m weak for softness

4. Midnight Ride by Orville Peck because it would be a sin to not include Mr. Peck

Mini Category for Zac Brown specifically bc a lot come to mind- 5. Beautiful Drug bc I like it, and there's some good lyrics that relate to fire. I take what I can get

6. As She’s Walking Away - is a cute one, v good for first meeting scenarios.

7. Toes - I see Sans plucking at a guitar and mumbling this one under his breath while looking at Grillby from across the bar. Especially that “my bartender” line, y’all know the one.

8. Free - Say it with me now, soft as fuck

This is by no means an exhaustive list, just what i was able to come up with mostly off the dome. If anyone has their own suggestions, yeet them in the replies

[edensundae]

BJ & friends! [WIP ⚠️]

Huge piece I’m currently working on! If you know me, you’ve probably noticed by now I barely draw anymore than 3 characters on a single canvas- WELP. THIS IS CHANGING THAT! this is my biggest piece by FAR & I wanted to share it with you guys! Lemme know what you think!

I’m hoping to finish this soon because guess what… I MIGHT MAIL THIS OFF TO THE TOUR CREW IF ALL GOES WELL! 💚💜 also I’m 100% making this into a poster for myself 😭🫱🏽‍🫲🏼

If anyone has suggestions or easter-eggs to add, I’d be more than happy to take some into consideration! :D I want this to be BIGGG 🫣🪲🧃

[mulletmitsuya]

Tokyo Revengers Siblings Groupchat (Sano's & Akashi's)

Warnings: swearing, suggestive, mentions of drugs/rehab, mentions of stalking (it's all satirical, mostly, and i'm probably using this word wrong), angst? (i wouldn't consider it such but you'll get what i mean)

Desc: just a lil dive into two groups of sibling trios :) this is also the final timeline where everything is okay

Akashi's

Senju: she ate that

Sanzu: ?

Sanzu: what did she eat

Senju: she ate

Sanzu: what

Sanzu: what was it that she ate

Sanzu: who are we talking about

Senju: purrrr💅

Sanzu: what

Sanzu: what the fuck are you saying

Sanzu: you're pissing me off

Takeomi: can you guys shut up

Takeomi: isn't this for important things? like emergencies.

Sanzu: you act like you'd be any help if it was an emergency

Senju: i'm talking about me btw

Senju: i'm at 4 million followers 😋

Sanzu: well i'm at 4 and a half so☺

Takeomi: don't you guys run the channel together?

Sanzu: we required our fans to vote who they were mostly watching for and who's funnier

Sanzu: and that's me

Senju: you're not funny, people just love twinks these days🙄

Sanzu: fuck does that mean?🤨

Sanzu: i'm not a twink? i've been going to the gym for the past year

Senju: do you go there to take pictures or what?

Senju: cause ain't no way

Senju: also, homosexuality + skinny = twink

Takeomi: haruchiyo's not gay

Senju: and who told you that?🤨

Sanzu: i've never been attracted to anyone ever so

Senju: you have a USB of just pictures of Mikey, you fucking freak

Senju: am i just suppose to beleive you just look at them for fun

Sanzu: I'M NOT DOING WHAT U THINK I'M DOING

Sanzu: WHERE DID U EVEN FIND THAT OUT FROM

Sanzu: i'm just admiring him

Sanzu: like stop making this weird

Senju: i'm making this weird? YOU'RE A STALKER

Sanzu: IT'S NOT STALKING

Sanzu: i'm just hanging out with him from far away

Senju: with binoculars?😐

Sanzu: you wouldn't get it

Senju: your guys' obsession with the Sano's needs to be studied

Sanzu: i'm not obsessed, i'm normal

Senju: you could be arrested yk?

Senju: you know how many followers we lost the last time you got arrested?

Sanzu: they came back didn't they??? my acting in my apology video was oscar level. did you see that fucking tear? we actually got more followers after that so fuck you

Senju: chill😭

Takeomi: the "going to rehab" stunt was really good. even got people supporting you. keep up the publicity kid 👍

Sanzu: ...

Sanzu: i actually hate you tbh

Sanzu: i get addicted to drugs and the first thing you think is "how can i capitalize off of this"

Takeomi: ...that's what you did tho?

Takeomi: why are you blaming me for your drug addiction🤨

Sanzu: and you praised me for it

Sanzu: the only time you say anything nice about me is when you benefit from it, especially when there's money involved

Sanzu: but whatever

Takeomi: you blame all your problems on me. you're an adult and actions have consequences, haruchiyo. you sniffed coke, not me

Sanzu: ...

Sanzu: maybe you should admit you're a shit brother

Senju:

Senju: please stop fighting ❤

Senju: peace and love only haha

Sanzu: easy for you to say, he actually likes you

Sanzu: idgaf tho like whatever, i'm leaving

Senju: where?? we have a live in a few minutes

Sanzu: do it without me

Senju: please don't go to the Haitani's, those guys suck, they're a terrible influence

Senju: Haru?

Takeomi: he's gone

Takeomi: don't let him get to you Senju, he's just dramatic

Senju: ...right

Sanos

Izana: who the fuck is outside our window

Izana: it's 9pm

Mikey: what??

Mikey: lemme look

Mikey: oh lol that's just Haru, don't worry about it

Emma: again? Mikey...

Mikey: what?

Izana: what the fuck do you mean "don't worry about it" ????

Emma: you're enabling him :(

Emma: Haruchiyo has mental problems, so maybe you should tell him that, idk, stalking isn't normal?

Mikey: we're just hanging out tho?

Mikey: but from far away

Kakucho: does anyone see flashes from outside?

Mikey: Haru's just taking pictures of me

Izana: ???

Izana: what the fuck

Shinichiro: hey guys! can you guys get under your beds and hide? i think we might be getting robbed 😄

Shinichiro: but i'll take care of it🤞

Mikey: LMAO😭😭😭😭

Izana: what are you gonna do Shinichiro? if i may ask

Shinichiro: ...protect you

Shinichiro: i'm willing to resort to violence to save you guys

Izana: you can't fucking fight😐

Mikey: we aren't getting robbed! my good friend just likes to watch me from my window sometimes and that's okay. Haruchiyo has his own way of doing things, let him be.

Shinichiro: oh. ok!

Shinichiro: goodnight then, i suppose 🤞❤

Izana: no?

Izana: how long has he been doing this?

Izana: this is so weird wtf

Mikey: god forbid gay people have hobbies

Izana: ...?

Emma: what does this have to do with him being gay?

Mikey: idk i think he's in love with me or something, and that's pretty gay

Mikey: which i don't mind

Mikey: people just fall into my hands, i'm charming like that fr

Emma: ...sure🙂

Izana: whatever makes you sleep at night

Mikey: i don't sleep at night, the crippling depression keeps me up

Emma: you sleep 12 hours a day 😐

Mikey: that's not a lot tho

Kakucho: it's half the day...

Mikey: so

Kakucho: nothing

Shinichiro: guys don't sleep too late

Shinichiro: it's waaaay past your bedtime

Shinichiro: early bird catches the worm and all that 😄

Mikey: ...i'm 24

Mikey: fym bedtime🤨

Izana: yeah uh we're all way too old for that

Izana: except Emma

Izana: you should he asleep

Emma: nope, me and my husband are about to try for a baby😚

Kakucho: *my husband and i

Emma: he says hi btw

Mikey: DUDE

Mikey: EWWWWWWWW🤢🤮😭

Izana: what are you, 5?

Izana: also we literally didn't need to know that. i'm really grossed out rn

Izana: what made you think that was okay to say

Emma: because you guys are lonely grumpy men and i have a very active and healthy sexual relationship :))

Emma: i'm being maliceful

Emma: *maleficent

Emma: um i forgot the word

Emma: like, purposefully being mean

Emma: AHA

Emma: malicious

Izana: that took you too long

Izana: and what about it? i'm just not ready to be in a relationship rn and that's fine

Emma: you got drunk last night and cried about how lonely you were😐

Izana: lies

Izana: i need to better myself mentally in order to have a healthy relationship

Mikey: lmao is that what your therapist told you?💀

Izana: yes

Mikey: oh

Emma: ok well i'm logging off. bye🤗

Mikey: i'm gonna have to have a conversation with Ken-chin cause he can't be doing this to my little sister

Kakucho: they are married

Mikey: what's your point?

Kakucho: ...nothing

[pterodactylterrace]

Unapologetically Team Green Take:

Alicent

Ok, I’m going to call it now. They decided Maelor being Aegon and Helaena’s child was green propaganda. In F&B Helaena couldn’t even care for herself, let alone her remaining children.

Aegon allegedly gives Maelor to his mother to raise as her own. No mention of the surviving twin being given the same treatment. They will likely decide to give Alicent at least one bastard just to drive home the feeling of “see? Evil hypocrite!” Even though Alicent is a widow and not putting her illegitimate son in the succession.

It was rumored that Daeron would be an Alicole bastard, but then how in the fuck did he hatch his dragon? I’m getting the vibe that Tessarion was hatched to Daeron, which wouldn’t be possible unless Viserys was his father. I can already hear Condal now “everyone kind of forgot that only Targaryens can hatch a dragon egg” “it’s green propaganda that only Targaryens can claim dragons”

Just waiting for all the “Alicent is a hypocrite and a slut!” Hate to start rolling in. The only issue is that her paramour is a member of the kingsguard. And he is willingly breaking his vow. A vow Aegon doesn’t seem to even really care about that much. It sounded more like a suggestion when he told his kingsguard pal that he was supposed to be celibate. Plus, isn’t the vow that they would father no children, not that they wouldn’t get their freak on? I mean, maybe it’s splitting hairs, but the point of the vow is that they won’t have anyone or anything else they would put before their duty. Isn’t it kind of null and void if the resulting child would be a member of the royal family? Not to mention, Alicent took Ye Olde Morning After, so they are actively preventing him from fathering children.

Aemond

Speak High Valaryian between my legs to me

That smooth, cool voice just effortlessly tearing into Aegon. That had no business being THAT hot.

It’s nice to know Aegon wasn’t planned on being there. At least they have some sort of brain in their heads.

My take is that Aemond gave Aegon a chance, and came to his aid when it was clear he couldn’t win on his own. I also prefer to think that he didn’t mean to roast his brother.

We see Aemond walking around the crash site with his sword out. He is in the process of sheathing his sword when Cole approaches.

He exchanges no words, just points to where his brother and Sunfyre are.

My guess is they will try to frame it as “Aegon was a big dumb dummy and we needed him out of the way”

Aegon

He is so upset no one is listening to him. Can’t say I blame him.

His broken HV 😭 especially in comparison to Aemond’s easy grasp of the language.

“Mom, why are you in my room?”

Alicent has no idea the morning her son has had and her words are most certainly what pushes him over the edge.

The little kitty cat bapping of the pitcher off the table 😭

OH MY STARS AND GARTERS, THE SUNFYRE BOND!!!

Just a happy golden boi giving his rider a chest boop with his snoot. I may never recover from this. This is how I imagine TGC greets his dog when he gets home.

Sunfyre doesn’t need HV commands, he knows what Aegon wants. (Lemme guess Condal, Sunfyre just kind of forgot dragons only understand HV, it’s not because of their bond)

Golden Boi doing his absolute bestest!!! Poor baby has 0 battle experience. What he does have is a drunk rider and a can do attitude!

Maybe drunken dragon fighting was a bad idea?

The golden flames tho!!!!

Cole

Finally using his head for more than something to put his helm on.

It was a good plan. Kudos for the thought that went into it. Unfortunately, no one accounted for Aegon drinking and flying.

Not Gwayne instantly thinking Cole planned on Aegon showing up at the exact worst possible time.

Riding hard to get to Aegon, even as Aemond and Rhaenys fight overhead.

First thing he does when he regains consciousness is resume his search for Aegon.

Falling to his knees when he sees his eldest surrogate son burned and broken after his first taste of battle. He may not fully respect Aegon’s authority, but he still cares for him as a person. As his son.

Sunfyre:

WE WERE ROBBED

We needed more Sunfyre! He has been on screen for like two minutes, but in those two minutes he showed so much personality. The boop! THE BOOP!!!!

He throws up a wing against Vhagar’s flame to protect Aegon.

When they fall, sunfyre curls around Aegon to protect him.

Vhagar

How TF did they manage to hide a mountain of a dragon in the woods?

She is a real one for that nap, though 😂

Aemond said “wait” and she was like “thank FUCK!” And just flopped back down for a snooze.

How is this giant somehow also a master of stealth?

I understand Meyles being able to sneak up on Sunfyre, she is a very fast dragon, but Vhagar is noted to be slow.

But somehow she just manages to pop out of nowhere and snack on other dragons no problem.

Grabbing Meyles by the leg and roasting her. Grandma knows how to handle these hatchlings!

Conclusion:

Can we please have more focus on the dragons in a show about war between dragon riders? They are more than just transportation devices. They have personalities. I WANT TO SEE MORE OF THAT. Not more Syrax and Caraxes. Syrax is less of a dragon and more of a chicken pony, and we have seen the noodle boi so much. Show us the Green dragons FFS. They have less. It should be easier to show all of theirs, but instead we are constantly shown the dragons being used to patrol or transport the blacks. The one other time we see Vhagar it’s from miles away while she is patrolling KL. Also, why are none of these riders practicing evasive tactics? That seems really important. Instead they just fly at one another, clash, lock and bunny kick the shit out of their opponent.

I would just love to see them actually doing something with their dragons other than just using them as horses.