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chrisevansgoodgirl · 4 years

Text

killing peggy carter

summary: you want revenge bc steve’s a bitch. (happy times, save for steve’s disappearance. everyone’s alive tho)

warnings: a darker steve. rough smut, a little questionable at times. a lot of angst bc i was in a mood.

pairing: steve rogers x reader, peggy carter x reader for a sec, and some steve x peggy ( 🤢 )

word count: about 9,800

a/n: not tagging anyone bc no one asked for this, i literally just wrote it like forever ago and decided to post it bc i haven’t posted in forever. also, if you go back far enough on my blog, you will see that i watch riverdale and honestly, i came up with this title before jughead wrote his emo story in the finale.

When Steve left, it was nothing short of devastating.

Your world had stopped. How could it not? You had been under the impression that someone was in love with you as much as you were in love with them. And god, you were so damn in love with Steve Rogers.

It had been a year and it still hurt just like it had that first day. You were better at hiding it now, using that as the only entertainment in your life. Being an Avenger wasn’t the same as it used to be. The world was good, you weren’t needed. Especially not while all these feelings of anger and resentment were growing inside you.

When Steve left, he took a lot. He took your heart, your soul, your fucking will to love and let yourself be loved, and he took your ability to be a hero. No hero had the darkness you had. No hero stayed out most nights dancing in sweaty and noisy clubs, being groped by strangers she couldn’t even take home because she was the definition of damaged. You had trust issues for days, and they weren’t going anywhere any time soon, if ever.

Bucky tried to help and sometimes, you had the energy to fake it. It always made him so happy to see you smiling or just talking to other men who clearly were attracted to you. But nothing would come of it. You couldn’t believe a word that any one of them said.

Steve used to look at you, tell you he loved you, tell he needed you, that he couldn’t do any of this without you. Then he had the chance to go back to Peggy Carter and he took it in a second, no hesitation. He didn’t even say goodbye.

You stayed out on the lake for three months, figuring he’d just gotten tied up. He would come back, you told yourself that every night. What finally broke you was when Nat and Bucky sat you down and told you it wasn’t going to happen. You’d always known but with confirmation from the two people that knew him best, you had to face reality. He’d left you and he wasn’t coming back.

It was a huge hit to your self-esteem. Maybe if you had been prettier. Smarter. Stronger. Better. But you were just you. Petty, small, aching. Ironically, that was how he had found you as well. The Avengers liked to bring in team members who had already been through too much. You hadn’t realized how vulnerable your past trauma made you to their type of coercion. You would do anything any of them asked. With Steve, it was different. More. And he had always known.

There was this pain in your chest that never went away. Sometimes you woke up gasping in the middle of the night, usually after a nightmare. It was as if there had been a hand around your neck. But there wasn’t because you were as alone as anyone could possibly be.

You didn’t mind it anymore. Hell, it was the only thing that you still had left of Steve. You burned everything else and not even that made you feel better. This was all much to Bucky’s dismay.

You would never tell a soul that you couldn’t part with his sketchbooks, that you had them hidden in a box underneath your bed. It was no one’s right to know. This pain was your own, the only thing you still had possession of.

You hadn’t been touched in his absence, even by yourself. It reminded you of all those times he would kiss along your skin and sing praises to your beauty. Sometimes, you wished you were ugly. Sometimes, you wished you could just get so ugly that no one would even want to look at you.

But that was not the case. You were that beautiful, strong, and caring woman Steve had fallen in love with, so they claimed. You were their responsibility. Their project. They would get you through this if it was the last thing they did. Nat, Bucky, and Sam tried merely out of their loyalty to Steve. Tony followed that lead and that meant Peter tried as well as he could. Wanda, still consumed by her own lost love, attempted, but she was probably the only person who could see you for what you were.

Thrown out trash. Abandoned, sharp pieces that could and would cut anyone who tried to help. You hated all the rest of them for not seeing it. You hated all the rest of them because in their eyes, you were still Steve’s girl.

You no longer had a boyfriend, a family, or friends. He took all of that away from you. And one day, when you were so sick of having nothing to do but feel sorry for yourself, you decided that you were going to return that favor.

Steve Rogers deserved to be just as heartbroken and empty as you. It drove you crazy. He had been the one to pursue you. He had been the one to insist that you were his, even said you were the best thing to ever happen to him.

Talking Bruce into helping was laughably easy. You claimed to need closure. You claimed you just wanted to know that Steve was happy. You wanted to tell him you forgave him. Bruce hadn’t seen you look this happy in a long while so he did what anyone would and said yes.

You wanted to wait. Steve was always so sentimental, the anniversary of the day he met Peggy was probably a day of extreme affection in their house. He probably made her breakfast, bought her some piece of jewelry that she wouldn’t even like, and spent all day telling her how much he loved her. You wanted to crash the party.

Part of you wished there was another way to do this, but there just wasn’t. Killing Peggy was the only way to take anything from him, and you had these dark fantasies that he would then kill you in retaliation. What a beautiful way to go, you hoped he would strangle you. You hoped he would set you on his lap one final time, wrap his hands around your neck, and stare into your eyes until you were gone.

Peggy was a great person, that much you felt bad about. But hadn’t Steve practically murdered you? And you were a great person before all of this. An eye for an eye. Did he think you were just going to disappear? No, he wasn’t going to get away with this any longer. He wasn’t going to get his happiness after he had ruined your whole life.

You wanted some years on them, you told Bruce ten years. Steve would be just shy of 50. You wondered what he’d look like. When he left, he had just started to get some gray hairs. You could remember that morning vividly. You wouldn’t have noticed if the sun hadn’t been shining in through the blinds perfectly onto his blonde hair. He blushed about 7 shades of red, but you promised him you didn’t mind. Because you loved him. He said he loved you back. Like an idiot, you believed him.

You arrived in his time with little care to how you looked. You weren’t here for anyone but him. You didn’t mind that everyone was staring at you oddly because instead of some huge, ugly dress, you were wearing black pants, a low-cut t-shirt, and a leather jacket.

You did need a weapon, however. Guns were cowardly. Poison could be fun. A knife, though. A knife would certainly get the point across. You tucked it into your boot and then you were on your way.

You found Peggy’s house easily. Bruce had made sure you knew where you were going and what to do if they had moved or anything like that. You’d known they would be in the same place. You’d known Steve would want to live in this domestic, pathetic lie.

There was a window that looked into the living room. It was mid-day, you figured Peggy was at work. What did Steve even do? Was there a specific activity he liked pairing with all the pure nothingness he was doing while his best friend suffered in Hydra’s hands?

You saw him sitting in a recliner in what you assumed was the living room. His hair was almost all gray, he’d cut it much shorter. Like how he used to have it, before everything with Tony and Bucky. Like how he had it when you met him. His beard was just as light and he had a few prominent wrinkles on his forehead and around his mouth. But that was as far as his aging went. His arms were still huge, his shoulders so broad, and you had the strongest feeling that that ass had held up.

You were about to go in, make your presence known when you realized he was reading a book. Your favorite book. He must have taken it with him because that looked distinctly like one of your many copies you hadn’t seen for quite some time.

You were furious, shaking and seeing red. No matter how hard you tried to breathe, you just couldn’t. You were going to cut Peggy’s heart about and show it to him. You were going to cover that ugly house with her blood. You were going to wreck him just as much as he wrecked you.

You watched Steve for three months and came to the harrowing conclusion that he was severely unhappy. Peggy would come home and they wouldn’t speak. They would sit down for dinner and say maybe five sentences to one another. They went to bed together, sometimes they had sex. You never stuck around for that because not only was that a major violation of her privacy, but damn, they were fucking boring.

When she woke up in the morning, he wouldn’t get up until she was gone. Then he would go for his run, you followed a couple of times as best you could to see if there was a piece of this puzzle you were missing. When he returned home, he would read or watch television, he went for a second run a few hours later, and returned home to do absolutely nothing but await her return.

Should this have made you happy? It didn’t. He would rather be unhappy with her than happy with you. But that was for one reason: his pride. He didn’t want to crawl back to you and admit that he made a mistake.

Your goals changed. You wanted to make him admit it. Not with words, he would never do that. But Steve was a faithful man. If you got him to stray, it would be indisputable.

You waited one morning until he was out on his run, then snuck into the house. You went through their kitchen, sometimes you moved things just to be a bitch. You went through their bedroom and discovered that Peggy had a terrible contraption that had the audacity to call itself a sex toy. That would be nice to throw in Steve’s face.

You tossed it onto the bed and got undressed as you made your way to the shower. Steve wouldn’t be gone much longer. And he would know something was very wrong when he saw your clothes.

You washed your hair, used Peggy’s soap, and only had to wait a couple of minutes after that. You heard him call out her name a few times. But then he got to the bedroom and you heard his steps hesitating.

“Peggy?”

He wouldn’t say your name, not ever. Because he could be wrong, he could be delusional. And to admit that he was still thinking about you after all this time, that was his idea of a loss.

You didn’t grab a towel as you pulled the shower curtain back and shut off the water. Dripping wet, you carefully padded across the tile floor and then out to the bedroom.

His eyes widened and he dropped to his knees. “What...what are you doing here?”

You shrugged, glancing around. “Thought I deserved a vacation.”

“Y/N, I am so—”

“Pathetic? Weak? Yeah, don’t worry, I know.” You moved closer to him, eyeing him pitifully. You were glad that you hadn’t crumbled. Months ago, you would have given anything just to hear his voice, just to see his fucking eyes. God, you hated him now.

“You’re angry, I understand.”

“Angry?” you scoffed. “Add dumb to the list.”

“I’m sorry that I hurt you—”

“You didn’t hurt me, you piece of shit. You destroyed me, you ruined my life. For all intents and purposes, you killed me. And I’m here to get my revenge.”

His eyebrows pulled together. “Revenge?”

You reached out to touch his face, trailed your fingers along his bottom lip. “Yeah, payback. I’m going to make sure I make you feel what you made me feel.”

He glared up at you. “Are you threatening me?”

“Yes.”

He finally stood, towering over you.

“Mmm, how I’ve missed this body.” You pressed yourself against him and as much as he acted like he didn’t like it, he never pulled away or tried to push you back. You were getting him wet and his shirt was starting to cling to his abs. You let your hands wander for a moment before they dropped down to his pants.

“Stop,” he said quietly.

And you did because you were never going to allow him to lie. Your turned up to him and stepped back.

He looked torn apart, confused. “Why are you here?”

You shrugged. “Why not?”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Well, it’s all you’re getting. You don’t need any other answer.”

“So, what’s the plan? How are you going to get your revenge?”

“I know you, Steve, I know that you believe in being a good and faithful man. I just want you to fuck me. That’s all.”

“Well, you know that’s not going to happen. You know I would never—”

“Cheat? So, then you’ve never fucked Peggy?”

“What?”

“You never left me, you never told me we were done. You, like the coward you are, just didn’t come back. Every time you’ve been with her is a lie, a cheat. You are a cheater.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?! You keep acting like there was just one thing! There were a million things, Steve. You ruined everything that we were building. And you can apologize all you want, but until I return at least half of it, I’m stuck here with you.”

“I won’t fuck you.”

“Yet,” you pointed out. “Well, I should be going.”

He grabbed your arm. “Go home.”

“I am home, baby. You’re here and you’re my home.”

He frowned.

You yanked yourself out of his hold, bending over to grab your clothing all over the room. He wasn’t going to fuck you but that did not mean he wasn’t going to look at you. So, you gave him quite the show, just like you had in the past upon his request.

You disappeared into the bathroom as if it was so natural, as if it was your own. He made no moves to follow and said nothing. As you dried yourself off, you decided now was as good a time as any. “See that terrible thing on your bed?”

You heard him step a few times, then nothing.

You scoffed. “Maybe it has to do with your age.”

“It doesn’t.”

“Still. Pretty creepy you came back to a much younger Peggy.”

“I came back to the one I left.”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself.” You sauntered out and sent him one last smile before exiting the bedroom.

Peggy and Steve had a fight, so Peggy ducked out to some small diner. If you couldn’t get to him, you decided you were going to get to her. Peggy was sweet from the second you began speaking to her, feigning concern for her situation.

The first night you guys went out together, you wanted her to talk shit about Steve. She didn’t, she just got drunk and tried to get you much the same. You were taking her home because you truly were fearful of what would become of her without your help. And she kissed you. At first, you were startled, you pulled away out of fear and shock. She wasn’t Steve. In all your life since you’d met him, you never thought someone else was going to kiss you.

But then she looked terrified. Had she been reading you wrong? Had she messed everything up? Nah, you were adaptable. You kissed her back, explained you’d been hurt by some loser and it had been a while. She understood, or said she did, and then she was disappearing inside.

You were left wondering if Steve heard you, but not many lights in the house were on. He probably wasn’t home. Confirmed by your unlocked hotel door when you returned home just a couple of hours before sunrise.

Knowing it was him didn’t mean you weren’t going to pull your gun as you entered. He was sitting in one of the chairs at the tiny table near the tiny kitchen.

He arched an eyebrow. “That necessary?”

“I should have shot you the second I got here.” But you still tossed it onto the bed. “You know...this paints quite a scene, doesn’t it? You’re here, angry at me for being out late.” You let your purse fall to the floor, then your hideous cardigan. You had only shown up with one outfit, so shopping was necessary to keep up appearances. You didn’t know a lot about the 40s, but you didn’t want them to start burning women at the stake again because of you.

You made your way to him, straddling his lap as you took his face in your hands. “Are you upset that I broke curfew, daddy?”

He didn’t even bat an eye, but you knew that would get to him. “Where were you?”

“Out with your future wife.” One of many kickers, they had yet to get married. Peggy said it was because she wanted to wait. “Thought she would be willing to talk shit about you...thought it would make me feel better.”

“And? Did she give you anything you can use against me in the future?”

“Nah. She didn’t want to talk about you at all.”

He glared. “When are you going home?”

She shrugged. “Whenever I feel like it.” Your eyes moved over his face as you felt the deeply etched lines on his skin. “You don’t look 50 but I never thought... You remember when I found your gray hair?”

“Yeah... Thought you would leave me...that you’d want someone your age.”

“I like you like this, you know. Twice my age.”

“Have there been others?”

And just like that, the end of your friendly conversation. You pulled your hands away from him but stayed on top of him. “Others?”

“People...men you’ve let close.”

You scoffed. “Why would I do that?”

“I wanted...I thought you would move on.”

“People lie,” you pointed out. “You told me you loved me every day and then you just left. I can’t adequately explain to you how tired I am. I can’t do it again, I can’t even let myself try. I can’t get close to people the way I was close to you. I can’t move on. I can’t love someone else. I can’t do anything but hate you as much as I loved you.”

“I wasn’t lying—”

“You left. If you loved me as much as you said you did, you wouldn’t have been able to.”

“I do love you—”

You immediately pulled off him, rushing to get your feet back on the floor. No, no fucking way, he was not going to lie to you again. He was simply not allowed to anymore. You would not tolerate it.

“Y/N—”

“Get out of my hotel!” You pointed to the door. “Now, Steve, or I swear I will shoot you.”

He scoffed. “For what? Loving you?”

“You piece of shit.” You didn’t wait for him to say anything else. You stormed to the bathroom and locked the door before he could intrude yet again.

He knew you wouldn’t come back out, not while he was still there. All he could do was leave. For safe measure, he at least unloaded your gun and set it on the bedside table. Maybe if you had to find it and load again, you would lose some of your anger and not ended up taking a shot at him.

How dare he? He had no right to say that to you, no right to use that word. It meant nothing coming from him because there was the implied ‘but’ along with it. Before, he just loved you. Period. Now? He loved you. But what? He loved Peggy more? He loved this time more?

You thought you had been angry before. Even though the time you were spending with Peggy was diffusing that somewhat. Still, you never lost sight of what you wanted. Needed. The idea of Steve’s heartbreak was the only thing that could get you up in the morning.

He threw you off for a few days. Every time you tried to leave the hotel room just to do something a tad evil, you would end up in bed crying. Steve thankfully didn’t try to come back, you hated the thought of him seeing you like this, letting him know that he could still do this to you.

Peggy called. You gave her the number, just in case, and she used it to express her concern for you. It wasn’t like you not to want to hang out or to just be around and bump into her “randomly”. She invited you out for breakfast the first day, then lunch the next. You said you weren’t feeling well.

An excuse she stopped taking the third night. She wanted to go dancing with you, all while her asshole boyfriend stayed at home. How could you say no? You shouldn’t, this was the entire reason you were here.

You would kill her tonight. This time was a drag and you wanted to get home. To a place where you could wear pants or a t-shirt. A place where there weren’t so many preppy men in pastels or college sweaters.

Peggy picked you up, she wouldn’t stop staring. Had it been any other day, you might have even questioned why. But you weren’t going to enjoy this as much as you thought you would. It sucked, and honestly, it made you hate Steve even more. He was your downfall, he was also her downfall, but at least he would soon be utterly alone.

It had been hours. You were just trying to dance and let the music fill your mind, but this music was shit. If you had to hear one more man sing about wanting to hold a woman’s hand… Truly, you missed the filth of your time.

Peggy was the one that wanted to leave. Peggy was the one that wanted to walk away from all the noise of the city. Peggy was the one that took you to some sleazy motel, where she gave you the briefest of looks when she’d stopped you both on the sidewalk. She was also the one that kissed you when you didn’t say anything because what did you have to actually say?

Nothing. Not one thing. You had no idea how this plan had spiraled so terribly. You were meant to come here, kill her, throw it in Steve’s face, then bolt back home like none of it ever happened.

But you couldn’t kill her, not anymore, not after seeing what a miserable life she had with Steve. You hoped she would leave him, and not just to hurt him, but to help herself. You remembered the life she had in your world, the one she had created with your husband. It was so much better than the hell she was living in here.

So, you let her take you to a room. You let her kiss you, you let her tear your dress off, push you onto the bed, and crawl on top of you. Her lips moved everywhere over your legs, arms, and stomach, and they felt like fire because they belonged to someone who wasn’t Steve.

You hated how guilty you felt. You hated that your mind was seriously considering this a betrayal, cheating. But you were trying to be kinder to yourself. It wasn’t your fault that you had fallen so hard for someone and that you had made plans because someone had promised you forever.

She knew you were thinking about him. Not Steve, of course, but the someone you had once mentioned. She didn’t mind, she just promised she would try to make you forget. You forced yourself to be present, you turned off your mind when you could. She didn’t ask a lot of you, in reality.

She wanted to be on top, she wanted you to say her name and wouldn’t let you come until you asked nicely. It was probably around the third orgasm that you stopped feeling so awful, that all of those familiar sensations weren’t triggering memories and bitter resentment. That was what she gave you with her mouth alone and didn’t move until it was evident that your thoughts had simply melted away.

When she crawled back up to kiss you, she buried her fingers inside you. At that point, who the hell even was Steve Rogers? A distant, dull pain. Peggy was here, on top of you, biting your lip, telling you to come one more time, because she knew you had it in you.

She told you that you were beautiful, that she’d never seen a body like yours. She told you that you made her feel things Steve couldn’t, that you were fun and warm and kind, and she loved spending time with you.

You were covered in sweat, your skin painted with her lipstick and bites and other marks she left all over your skin. She hadn’t come yet and refused any offers you made her, she claimed she just wanted to focus on you for a moment.

When she finally pressed her soaking center against yours, you were in an odd amount of pain. You longed for something, so much, but you had no idea what. She pulled your hair, began kissing your neck, and rolled her hips hard. You pulled her hair back, pressed your hips up when she pressed down, whimpered her name, and told her she felt so good. It was when she started fucking you harder and faster, and you were getting really close once again, that you got the sick idea to rake your nails down her back. Hard enough to leave marks.

After her finish, she collapsed onto her side next to you. The way she looked at you was kind of scary, like you were worth a lot more than you knew you were. She also looked satisfied and you hadn’t seen that look since you’d shown up. And what a fucking crime that was. Yes, Steve was a dick, but fuck, that man could seriously fuck. Why was he denying her that?

You shoved her onto her back and sat on her face because you didn’t want to be thinking about him. She kept you there until you were shaking and so fuzzy you couldn’t even sit up on your own. A tad haphazardly, you insisted on getting your mouth on her. After some convincing on your part and a few pitying laughs from her as you nearly fell over the edge of the mattress because you were still dizzy, your tongue was sliding against her skin and her hands were locked in your hair.

She needed to get home, back to her boyfriend before he started to worry. You stuck around for a bit, reluctant to return to your apartment. Maybe this was it, maybe this was all you needed. Maybe it was just time to fucking go home.

You truly worried about all of the Bucky lectures you were going to get, all of those Natasha looks, those small ‘tsk’ sounds when Thor was not only upset but disappointed in you, the judgmental eyebrows Tony would be sending your way, and those puppy dog eyes from Peter. Goodness, you were sure Peter missed you. Bruce would never trust you again, no surprise there, you had lied to him. You hadn’t thought about the consequences of your actions when you first did this. You hated, at the time, that you didn’t care if you hurt anyone.

Game over. You weren’t going home not without having scored some points, but to win, you would just end up losing more. More, you now understood that you had taken all of it for granted. Yes, your friends were constant reminders of Steve and they had been acting like you were some mission they needed to complete, but at least they loved you. That was more than a lot of people had and you would let them know about all these epiphanies if they didn’t kill you as soon as you returned.

When you made it back to your apartment, it was only to get the necklace Wanda had given you a few years back for your birthday. It was this huge stone you never remembered the name of, something you rarely took off regardless of that.

The last thing you expected was to find Steve. He looked furious and maybe, just maybe, you were going to get the satisfaction of seeing that you hurt him before you left. “What the hell are you doing here?”

He was at the table again, jaw set, glaring at the wall straight ahead of him. You were trying to think if you’d ever seen him this angry, if you’d ever even heard stories of it. Probably not. He liked to act like you were so damn delicate. Though, maybe he had been onto something.

“Hey,” you snapped after receiving no response, “Why the fuck are you in my hotel room?”

Finally, he turned to you and for the first time ever, you were scared of him.

You kept your distance, you even began moving toward your bedside table where you had your gun stashed.

“I hope you’re not looking for this.” He reached down for a moment then tossed it onto the table noisily.

Shit. “Steve…”

“You fucked her.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He stood quickly, storming over to you. For a moment, you had been stunned, and it was enough for him to get several upper hands. It wasn’t as if he needed them to begin with, but with your delayed scattering back, he was able to grab you and pin you to the wall. You were completely defenseless in stupid, impractical heels and an ugly, impractical dress.

“Tell me you didn’t fuck her.”

You said nothing.

He scoffed harshly. “I fucking smelled you all over her…and now I smell her on you. You left those scratches on her back because you wanted me to know.”

“Honestly, I thought I would be gone by the time you found out or by the time you decided to confront me. In fact, if you leave now, I’ll be gone and you’ll never have to see me again.”

He narrowed his eyes.

“What? Isn’t that what you wanted?”

He didn’t say anything, instead, he grabbed the neckline of your dress and tore it open. He paid no mind to your startled shoving at his chest. His eyes moved over your skin quickly, you could tell he was getting angrier with every bruise he found.

You were going to play this off, bat away at his feelings just long enough for you to escape. “Steve, I—”

He grabbed your jaw and you immediately shut up. “Go take a shower.”

Your eyebrows pulled together.

“Now.”

“No, you fucking—”

“You can do it on your own or I can do it for you. But to be clear, I will not ask again, and I’m gonna count to ten before I really lose my patience. One, two, three—”

“Steve,” you tried softly. He was still holding you there, so tight that the idea of moving was laughable.

“Four, five—”

“Steve,” you were a tad more frantic, pushing at his forearm.

“Six, seven.” He finally pulled away from you and you bolted to the bathroom without a second thought. He told you to leave the door open and you listened because you no longer had the desire to push him.

You came out in a towel several minutes later. Most of your shower was spent just trying to calm down, the rest was using any product you had to try to get rid of her scent. You didn’t want to risk further angering him with any lingering mentions of Peggy.

He was just feet away from the door when you stepped out and once again, he showed no hesitation in ripping away what covered your body. He looked you over again, briefer this time, obviously displeased with what he saw. He’d hoped most of it was just the lipstick Peggy always wore.

“Are you wet?”

“What?”

“Your pussy. Are you wet?” He was condescendingly slow with every single word and your hand suddenly itched with the need to smack him.

“No.”

“Well, you’re a liar, so I don’t believe you,” he countered. “Check.”

“What?”

“Check,” he repeated. “Now. And if I have to keep repeating myself, you’re not going to like the way this night plays out.”

You averted your gaze as you brought your hand to your center. Your breath caught audibly as you ran your fingers through. Yes, he was an ass, but your body would never stop craving his touch.

“Show me.”

Begrudgingly, you brought your hand back to him.

“Wow, how did I know you were lying? Touch yourself. Keep touching yourself until you come.”

You snorted. “Eww, no—”

He slammed his hand against the wall behind you and you fell silent again. “The same rules apply. Do it or I will do it for you.”

He had never spoken to you like this. Sure, there were the bad missions. There were the times when he just needed to fuck you to forget all the shit he had to deal with. But there was never a moment where you wondered if he would lose control, if he would hurt you unintentionally. Right now, maybe it wasn’t so much that you thought he would. You had known him long enough, loved him long enough, that you knew exactly what kind of man he was. Maybe, right now, it was that you wanted him to hurt you.

Nothing could be worse than when he left you. Nothing he did was going to hurt more than when you went back home and you were, once more, without him. Meaning that you wanted to take everything that you possibly could from this moment. All the pain, all the bruises, all those emotional scars that would add to the ones from before that you had idiotically convinced yourself you could ever get rid of.

He knew you were considering your next move and arched an eyebrow at your continuing silence.

You shook your head. “No.”

One of his hands shot up to wrap around your neck, the other hand went to your cunt where he slid two fingers into you with embarrassing ease.

You brought your hands up to his forearm and dug your nails into his skin. The harder you scratched him, the harder he would choke you—it was something established early on in your relationship. And if he was choking you, you couldn’t moan or whine like he wanted you to.

For a moment, you both stayed still. For an entire second, it wasn’t that he had left you, that you had to track him down, that you fucked his girlfriend and he was fucking furious about it. For a second, it was just you and him, like it was all the times before.

The problem was pride. It wasn’t like before and neither one of you wanted to let the other pretend. He hurt you. You hurt him. Before no longer mattered. So, you shut your eyes and turned your face away from him.

He thrust his fingers just slightly harder than you would have liked, slightly harder than he would have liked. It would sting in the morning, but you wouldn’t hate it. Crescent-shaped cuts would be found everywhere on his skin and he would mourn that they were healing too fast. Both of you knew that this was it. The end.

You were wet, that obscene sound drowning out your choked noises. He absolutely loved this, loved you. He had thought being with Peggy again would make him feel like he was finally home. It took him so long to figure out that he was wrong, to realize that you were one of the few people that actually felt like home. You and Bucky, Nat, Sam, Tony, Wanda, Thor. Not Peggy.

And he could no longer pretend when he felt you tighten around his fingers. He was fucked up and he ruined things a lot of the time. It was just in his DNA, even the fucking serum couldn’t fix that. But prior to leaving, he’d never ruined anything with you. He hadn’t realized how much he missed fucking you because he always did that right.

“Open your eyes,” he ordered.

Instead, you pushed harder at his arm and turned further away from him. Your hips started to buck against his hand, and he knew you wanted this, but he knew you were not going to give in without some fight.

“Open your fucking eyes, Y/N.”

You were not going to. After all the hell he’d put you through? Fuck that, fuck him. You were never going to give him anything he wanted ever again.

He yanked his hand away from your pussy and grabbed your jaw to turn your face to him. He knew that wouldn’t work alone and in a move of desperation, kissed you. A move to get you to let your guard down—a weak move that would not work. As his knee came up to your cunt and you began grinding against it, he started biting your lip.

You buried one hand in his hair and started pulling harder than you should have. He released your jaw to do the same to you. This was much different than how he usually touched you. He’d always been rough, but this hurt, actually hurt.

You rode his thigh with no assistance from him. He let your face go and dropped your hair in search of another tactic. You were no longer kissing, you instead rested your head on his shoulder, eyes still squeezed shut. Even when he grabbed your ass painfully, and when he smacked you after all you did was scream. Even when he grabbed your breasts and pulled on your nipples.

You kept your eyes shut the entire time and he was growing furious. He wasn’t going to let you feel anything even resembling pleasure if you weren’t going to give into him. He pulled away and grabbed your hips.

You opened your eyes then, concerned about what he was doing to you next. He grabbed your shoulder and shoved you onto the bed before you could say a word. You were on your stomach, facing away from him, busy lamenting the loss of your finish. You heard him undressing as you attempted to regain your breath and composure.

He was on top of you before that happened, yanking your legs open before he crawled up, hands stopping on either side of your head. He wasn’t going to tease, he was going to fuck you like the brat you were—hard, mean, unforgiving. He lowered his hips until his cock was lined up with your entrance and then thrust in.

Your scream must have scared the hell out of the neighbors. You wouldn’t be surprised if the cops were being called right then. It wasn’t a pleasurable scream, you certainly liked that he was inside you, but that was just your body. Your heart ached in a way that it never had. You’d thought you were never going to feel him again, but it wasn’t some beautiful feeling of reconnection. You were at square one, you would have to crave his body all over again once this was over. You would go through those same agonizing withdrawals that had truly destroyed you those first few months.

Steve grabbed your hair again and shoved your face into the mattress. He didn’t care about taking it slow, making sure that you, his precious, sweet girlfriend, were okay. He felt just as torn up as you and he couldn’t afford emotional consideration when he was so fucked up. He only knew what he wanted, for you to look at him like you used to. He would do whatever he had to do to get it. Part of him didn’t care how low he would have to go. He wasn’t Captain America here, he didn’t have to live up to the same standards.

You blindly reached back to try to catch his arm, but your attempts never even touched him. He didn’t seem to care about what you were attempting, he just fucked you. He held you down as his hips slammed against your ass and he moaned loudly, shamelessly, selfishly. You finally caught a hold of his arm and used the heel of your palm to push, but since you were out of breath and had been for quite some time, you doubted that there was any real force behind it.

“Can’t breathe, baby?” he wondered, hips still snapping, the head of his cock reaching that delicious spot inside you.

You dug your nails into his skin even though it was an uncomfortable stretch and your muscles were screaming. You were screaming, too, despite everything, despite the lack of strategy in that, but this felt too good not to. You hadn’t been fucked like this in so long, this was what you knew you would never get from someone else. This deep, soul-level connection was a one-time deal. No one else was ever going to be able to give you this.

“If I let you up, you better fucking look at me. I’m not kidding, Y/N. I’ll fucking hold you down again until I fucking come.”

Once his hand lifted from your head, you turned up and gasped for air. It was a short-lived relief as soon as his hand pressed into your neck and angled your head back. It wasn’t that you were scared, and you should have been because you wholeheartedly believed his threat, it was that you were happy to have an excuse to give in. He was stronger than you, right? No one could blame you for giving in, hell, you were just trying to save yourself. Right?

Your eyes met his and his hips stuttered. A ragged breath fell from his lips, you felt it on your hair. That hard look in his eyes softened, he looked a lot like that man that had promised you he would come back to you.

“I love you,” he breathed.

Your eyes instantly filled with tears and you clamped your mouth shut. Both hands were buried in the bedsheets because you needed something to hold, something to tear at, something to destroy to cope with the burning anger that was consuming you.

“I’m sorry, I love you.” His body moved erratically against yours, desperate for all the things he’d longed for since he’d left you. The two of you were sick together, desperate, twisted people that proved it in bed. Peggy wasn’t like that and he was drowning trying to act like he was normal, like he was that same man that she had been with what felt like centuries ago.

He collapsed, chin pressing into the bend of your neck, and you felt his cum spilling into you. His arms wrapped around you, holding you tight as he rode out his finish. He didn’t stop, however, now he wanted to get you off. He wanted to feel those same pathetic, proud things he experienced whenever he played your body like an instrument.

You didn’t resist, what would be the point? You fucking deserved an orgasm, at the very least. You were ashamed to admit that you wanted it, needed it. You hadn’t honestly felt alive since he left you, but this reminded you what that was like.

He groaned when he felt you tightening around him, his hand wedging between you and the mattress to get to your clit. When he did, it was over and you crashed like a wave against the shore, and you saw stars, and you felt all those things you felt when you were happily in love with a man you thought loved you back.

So, in conclusion, you felt lies.

If he thought he could fuck reality out of your mind, he was sadly mistaken. You were coming down when your hand started sliding across the mattress. Your gun was not the only precaution you took—you’d known Natasha for years and she would strangle you if that was your only form of protection.

He was kissing down your spine when you located your knife, and he had just started to speak when you turned back and just stabbed. You had a general awareness of where he was, you knew you weren’t going to kill him, and you didn’t want to. You just needed to get away, before he started talking, apologizing, making more promises.

You didn’t wait to see where you stabbed, you simply clawed away from him until you could jump from the bed. He cried out and you heard him grabbing for you, but you couldn’t stop for anything. On your bedstand was the necklace you had shown up for, you grabbed it, along with your long coat and then you were on your way out the door.

Running around completely naked in the 40s, clutching a trench coat you knew you weren’t going to leave without, shoeless, dripping sweat and cum—you’d never thought your beautiful life with Steve Rogers would take you here.

A Bucky Barnes lecture was the last thing you wanted, but it was the only thing you would be receiving for probably several months. Well, when he was done with his silent treatment. He was furious when you returned, he didn’t say a word to you. Everyone else had completely fawned over you. They hugged you, pet your hair, told you how proud they were that you came home.

Bucky just stared at you and when they all parted so he could speak to you, he simply stormed out of Bruce’s lab. But yes, Bruce was a tad betrayed, your expectation on that had been correct. You apologized profusely and brought him coffee every day, several times a day until he stopped looking at you like a kicked baby animal.

Tony was disappointed, but not to Bucky’s extent. He simply could not fathom the hold Steve had on you still, told you as much. You admitted that you were wrong, and well, with Tony, that was really all he needed. He wanted to be right and he wanted you to tell him that you learned your lesson. To the untrained eye, he would look like a narcissist. But you knew him better, you knew he was just scared of losing you. Again. He merely wanted to know that you were sticking around and that was what you conveyed when you told him you had made a mistake going in the first place. He dropped it, like it never happened.

Natasha didn’t let you out of her sight for almost two complete weeks. She watched you and you felt her watching you, but she wasn’t going to pry. She was angry, but she was still handling you with gloves on. She wasn’t going to push you emotionally no matter how badly she wanted to. She also wasn’t going to ask questions, scared that prying would move you further away. You told her you saw Steve and that you got what you needed, she nodded, and that was the end of it. She still watched you, but she was slyer about it. She made sure you were in your room when she woke up and went to bed, but she took up Tony’s pretending routine as well.

Wanda didn’t need to ask anything; she knew because she read your thoughts. She knew because she had been outraged that you left without a goodbye, so she felt entitled to those thoughts. Not because she needed to know what happened but because she needed to know if you were going to try anything else again. She stopped being mad at you one day when you were making Bruce coffee. You hadn’t heard her, you were there in the kitchen, stuck in your own thoughts. She hugged you tight, didn’t say a word, but just like that, it was over.

Almost everyone had gotten over it in record time. You knew you were an asshole and you apologized, and you meant it, but even if you hadn’t, it wasn’t like they were ever going to hold it against you. Sometimes, knowing that, it made you feel worse because these people loved you and just like Steve had done to you, you hurt them. In the exact same way. You left.

Sam was in a much more difficult position. He felt a duty to you as one of Steve’s closest friends, but he also felt for Bucky. You’d really hurt Bucky and Sam could forgive you for being reckless, psychotic almost, even selfish. But the look on Bucky’s face when they discovered that you were gone was a hard thing to shake.

He stopped ignoring you after a couple of days, but the conversations were short, shallow. He didn’t ask about your time there and he didn’t ask about your feelings after. It was all small talk and polite conversation, it seemed like you barely knew each other at all. But sometimes, you would catch him watching you, like he was looking for signs of something that he couldn’t ask you. He wanted to know if you were still torn up by this Steve thing.

You were. You cried a lot, as if it happened all over again. Technically, in a way, it did. But you didn’t show them that, it was no longer their burden to bear. You had caused them pain when they tried to take yours away. You waited until you were alone or out of the tower, you cried quietly and quickly. You did not allow yourself those days where you would just hole up in your room. You were always awake early, asleep late, and you took care of yourself because you owed them all at least that.

You knew when Bucky was less angry, but you weren’t going to approach him. You were totally fine just waiting for him to let you know when he wanted to speak to you, which was one random morning after you’d finished sparring with Nat.

He was waiting outside the gym, muttered that he wanted to speak to you, and even Natasha had the good sense to get lost. It wasn’t going to be pretty, that much was clear. It was in his tone, his eyes, his tense posture.

He took you back to your room and ordered you to sit on the foot of your bed. He paced for a long time and you didn’t say a word or make a sound. When he finally looked at you, you seriously worried he might kill you. He was angry all over again, had worked himself up with his thoughts but you weren’t sure why entirely.

“Did you see him?”

You nodded.

“You talked to him.”

“About…everything? Um, no, not really.” There hadn’t been that conversation. Any attempts on Steve’s part were expertly diverted by you, with all your ill intentions and knowledge of how to get under Steve’s skin.

He nodded curtly. “So, this was for nothing then? You put me through all of this shit for nothing?”

“Bucky, I’m really so—”

He was storming out of the room before you finished your sentence.

You didn’t see him for two days, and when you did, it was clear again, you would be getting more silence. You told yourself you couldn’t be that hurt. You’d hurt him first, that meant he had the right to express his feelings even if that resulted in him not speaking to you.

Several days later, Bucky dropped his Winter Solider persona and became a worried, bitter mother hen. You were sick, it wasn’t something that you thought was a big deal. He’d come to speak to you again and with his enhanced hearing, heard you puking in the bathroom.

When you were done, he forced you back into bed and got Bruce. Bruce did the usual, it wasn’t as if anyone was worried, he was just too scared not to indulge Bucky. Speaking of, he was off in the corner of the room, claiming that you’d probably gotten some kind of time-traveling bug. He was being dramatic, and you became aware of what exactly had drawn him and Steve together all those years ago. Extra bitches.

“I’m sure she’s fine,” Bruce assured. “Her temperature is fine.”

“Take her blood, test it for time-traveling bugs.”

You rolled your eyes, and because Bruce had heard of the Winter Soldier, he did as was directed. Even though you were pretty sure that Bucky wasn’t serious. Not completely. Once Bruce had the excuse of focusing on your blood, that left you and Bucky alone.

“Why did you even go?”

This was not going to go over well. “Um…I had a plan…”

“A plan,” he repeated. “To do what?”

“I was sort of…kind of, just a little bit, going to kill Peggy.”

His mouth dropped.

You rolled your eyes. “I know that was stupid—”

“You’re insane!”

You glared. “Bucky.”

“You didn’t do it, right?!”

“No,” you huffed. “I should have, would have been putting her out of her misery. He’s such a fucking tool.”

He dragged his hand down his face, holding his jaw as he leaned over in his chair and pressed his elbows to the tops of his thighs. He was silent for a very long time before saying, “Yeah…he is. Did he hurt you?”

The bruises had been painfully obvious, there was no way to hide them, and you knew they could all guess what they came from. You felt your skin getting hot as you shook your head. “No. He wouldn’t do that, Bucky.”

He scoffed. “I thought that…but he did leave you and I never thought he could do that.”

“He’s…not different,” you claimed. “Just…”

“A fucking tool.” He nodded. “I know.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

“No, I’m really sorry, Bucky. I’m not just sorry for leaving and upsetting you. I’m sorry for everything, I’m sorry that you wasted months trying to make me feel better and then I just left. I’m sorry that I took you guys for granted, I’m sorry that I didn’t know how fortunate I was to have people who love me as much as you guys do. I know I betrayed your trust so it’s not going to mean much, but I will never do anything like that again.”

His eyes flit up from the floor to your face. “I do love you. So fucking much. You’re my only connection to him. And you left and I didn’t have that, I didn’t have you and I didn’t have him, and I was just…lost.”

You felt those familiar pricks in the back of your eyes, but you told yourself not to cry, you didn’t have the right. But just as soon as his eyes filled with tears, you couldn’t hold back your own anymore. He practically flung himself off the chair to rush to you, arms wrapping tightly around your shoulders.

You weren’t sure how long you both stayed there, just clinging to each other. This felt like the end of all the tension, though. This felt like a fresh start and you and Bucky were just going to have to move on without Steve. You pondered that for a while. You would have to try to find him a girlfriend or a boyfriend so he wouldn’t try to find you someone. It was going to be a little give and take, probably a major power-struggle every now and then, but it was going to be good.

The only reason you two pulled away was because both a frantic Bruce and Natasha ran into the room. They’d made all the noise two people could possibly make as they did so, crashing into each other because the doorway wasn’t big enough for the both of them.

They were wide-eyed, out of breath, both looking like they had just seen a ghost. But a much different ghost since they both regarded one another with a look of confusion.

“What is it?” Bucky demanded. “Wait, she doesn’t really have a time-traveling bug, does she?”

“Oh!” Bruce scoffed awkwardly, “I’d say so!”

You narrowed your eyes. “What the hell does that mean?”

“That can wait!” Natasha declared.

“No, it certainly cannot!” Bruce insisted.

These were two people who were normally soft-spoken, not because they were meek or soft in any general sense—hello, Black Widow and the Hulk—but in that they didn’t like drawing so much attention to themselves.

As they both started hissing arguments back at each other, Bucky sighed.

You glanced at him and he shrugged at you in response. Things were all better one second, but the very next, the world was ending.

Both Bruce and Natasha turned back to you with resolute looks on their faces. Natasha only spoke loudly this time because she was hoping to yell over Bruce, “Steve is back!” And Bruce yelled in a completely indelicate manner because he was shocked, horrified, extremely concerned, “You’re pregnant!”

Oh, shit.

Natasha and Bruce took a second to process what the other said and then gasped, turning to one another to share a look. They faced you again and decided to repeat the news only, Bruce screamed about Steve being back and Natasha more so framed it as a shrieking question you’re pregnant?!

You glanced at Bucky.

His jaw was set, his eyes narrowed just slightly. He merely nodded once then stood, throwing his hands up in the air. “Well, I’m gonna fucking kill him.”

Yep, the world was most certainly ending.

#steve rogers x reader #why write what you requested when i can just be a moody water sign and write angst?#i don't even remember when i wrote this and i barely edited it honestly bc i'm just kinda over it #i wouldn't have even posted it bc it's been THAT long but i spent time on this so #my writing

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ostensiblyarticulate · 3 years

Text

Edit August 2023

Today on stuff I keep meaning to do, an updated writing post to pin, now with added Actually Everything. My intent is just to edit this for updates instead of making new posts; we’ll see how that goes.

Things I Have Written:

She-Ra (my beloved)

Catradora & Best Friends Squad hijinks, front to finish. Including 100+k words of post-canon stories focusing on the Best Friends Squad as they have space adventures (The Squad Goes Intergalactic), the super short one about predestination (Remade all the time), the also super short one where catradora doesn’t get married (Only Constant), the much longer one I wrote with @fuhadeza where catradora gets married a lot (The Thing About Forever), the self-indulgent one about fiber art (Twist; talk to me about spinning!), and the one where they’re Arthurian Knights that’s secretly an ode to the whole thing Tristram/Lamorak have going on (I will do you gentleness).

Riverdale (Rest In Chaos)

Join me in the descent from Jughead’s impenetrably pretentious s5 polyam-subtext-but-textually-bughead-because-Jughead’s-unreliable introspection that you should skip unless you’re up for an endurance challenge (Another Love Song for Betty Cooper) to Betty’s much more succinct and readable adventures in being aromantic but cool to make out with him (An Antonym for Serenade) to wait actually I think I’m going all in on the Betty/Archie/Veronica/Jughead polyamory (alternative solutions for gordian knots) to cool they have superpowers but only Betty/Veronica/Archie get to quite literally come (In then out, and other ways to breathe) to POP THE CHAMPAGNE THE OT4 IS CANON let’s get Jughead back in there, yeah he’s confused about it too (In which Reggie Mantle is not invited to the polycule). Somewhere in there I also wrote a completely canon compliant character study of the Biblical Angel Raphael (Shall the water not remember).

Star Wars (is a fun time)

Weird little philosophical things about Count Dooku’s Qui-Gon Jinn guilt (this thing of darkness), Ezra Bridger & Leia Organa almost hooking up as reckless teens in the least sexy encounter ever and never talking about it ever again (Requiem for a Misspent Youth), Hera Syndulla & Luke Skywalker talking because I think they should talk (They talk about Jedi), and the uncomfortable generational angst that just kind of lives between Luke Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano (Chiasmus).

Stranger Things (is also here)

Gets its own section because I have two more I’ll be super sad if I never finish. Currently two Steve fics (the king is dead, Steve Harrington is Having a Crisis Today) and one Robin fic (Party Plan) in which everyone assumes everyone else is straight, everyone is wrong, and it leads to silliness with a side of feelings. Very, very robust drafts of the Nancy and Eddie fic very much continue to exist in my drafts and oh boy would I love to ffs finish them.

Other

Midsummer Night’s Dream ot4 shenanigans (four bosoms and one troth), a non-linear Arcane fic about CaitVi (Pins & String), a more important Arcane fic about spotlights ([that one saying about a nail]), the one about the fairy tale you’re more likely to know (about 12 Princesses, Dancing), the one about the fairy tale you’re less likely to know (Jorinde & Joringel; Fraxinella), concerning changelings (original work), concerning dragons (Game of Thrones/Harry Potter xover), concerning witches (The Squire’s Tales by Gerald Morris; the company of witches), concerning punching god(s) in the face (RWBY; if it had to perish twice), Harry Potter house sorting meta (Out of Sorts), a very silly Destiel fix-it fic (how soon unaccountable), an even sillier Teen Wolf fic ft. none of the characters anyone cares about (Brett Talbot’s Last Week in Beacon Hills), a character study of Mulan from the Once Upon A Time TV show (Tactical Advantage), gay shit about the Enchanted sequel for some reason (Some Enchanted Evening), and now there’s a HSMTMTS one about the inherent homoeroticism of being romantic rivals in two different sequential love triangles ([line from I Don’t Dance here])

And of course all of it is on ao3 here.

I could totally end the post here, in which case it would be reasonably sized, very informative, and in no way make any promises I cannot keep. But where’s the fun in that, so...

...Things In My Drafts Folder (She-Ra, unless indicated otherwise):

I have a lot of drafts, and I’m writing them very slowly. Turns out, it takes longer to write things when you are (a) busy and (b) hopping between ten drafts at the whim of your brain instead of focusing on just one. The good news is that, historically speaking, when I stick with a hobby for a full year it tends to mean it’s not going anywhere. So while I can’t promise I’ll end up finishing all of these, the highest chance is that I’ll finish a bunch. Just...slowly.

(Edit 4/16/22: just...SO slowly. And I’m gonna run ttrpg again now so like...the slowest. But the drafts all DO still exist.)(Edit to add 8/31/23: I still really do want to finish these bc I am extremely proud of them but like idk who knows when. Ttrpg is going great tho so like hmu to talk about arthurian roleplay I guess)

Most of these fics have titles already, but I’m vaguely and nonsensically superstitious about announcing them so formally so early. So I...won’t.

The one where Catra & Glimmer have a space adventure ft. all of Catra’s shitty bosses. (I started this draft last summer, forgot about it for most of the year, and then proceeded to write a ton for it two nights ago. So: case in point about this stuff getting written just slowly.)

Adora And Her Spaceship.

The highkey catradora romance amnesia fic where I name the chapters after poems because sometimes I get to be pretentious, as a treat.

The catradora au that’s mostly about dragons and a little about a bad pun.

The star trek voyager au. Yes, also catradora, it’s all catradora.

Possibly a seamista fic??

An arranged marriage au that’s so deeply and totally backburnered that I’m not even bolding it but which I want to mention here on the off chance that if I ever get around to finishing it I can look back from a decade in the future and tell my past self I told you so.

(not She-Ra) Another Supernatural fic - aka the one where I rewrite plots for a bunch of female characters, because that’s what I did while I binged that show but also dear goodness it needs so much editing

(not She-Ra) The one where Anakin Skywalker is a shitty teen force ghost.

(not She-Ra) I would like to finish the Stranger Things drafts a lot yeah. Same with a bunch of Arcane stuff.

In conclusion: sorry for the long post. Extra sorry if you are someone who follows me for non-writing/non-She-Ra reasons. If it helps, it’ll probably be a long time until I make another one. In the meantime, my writing tag continues to be #forsythiarising, and if I remember to I may make a series of posts about the titles of my existing fics bc I have a lot of meta and love titles a lot. As with most of all this: we shall see.

#spop #she-ra #catradora #she-ra fanfic #forsythiarising

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soyforramen · 3 years

Note

If I'm not too late, for the writing prompts: 9 and/or 47, dealer's choice

· “Just tell why you did it!” “Because I’m in love with you, okay!”

· You’re my ex but I think I still have feelings for you

Angst below, in an AU timeline...ish

It felt like a fire had lit up her lungs, the smoke crawling up her throat and choking her until her breath rasped out into the cold night air. Behind her, Jughead stumbled, his breathing coming like tidal waves. Betty spared a quick glance at him as she yanked at his arm and pointed to the ridge beyond.

“Just over there,” she lied.

It was becoming easier and easier to lie to him.

On their way up the ridge her feet slipped in the muddy wet leaves. Her knees hit the ground and her teeth rattled hard enough to see stars. Jughead slipped an arm around her waist and dragged her up the rest of the hill, his breath erratic.

It was another ten minutes until they finally reached Archie’s car, the only one in the Sweetwater parking lot. Not many people went hiking at 4 a.m., let alone to go chase down a kidnapped ex.

Thunder rolled above them, the vibrations lingering deep in her bones, and they leaned around the car. Jughead’s hand were on his knees, his breath gasping and desperate. His wiped at the water trickling down his face and coughed hard. Betty kneeled on the ground, hands grasping at the loose asphalt as she forced herself to focus on counting rather than what she’d encountered tonight.

“What the hell was that for?” Jughead wheezed.

Betty shook her head, still unable to talk through her sore throat. She let out a slow breath – 1, 2, 3, 4 – and breathed in again.

“Why’d you try and save me?” he yelled over the thunder. A crack of lightening illuminated them and she was startled by the intensity in his eyes.

“Did you want me to leave you back in there?” she shot back. Stars colored her eyes as she tried to stand, and she listed to one side, grasping for the car to keep her balance.

Jughead snarled and paced towards the far end of the parking lot, ignoring the pouring rain around them. From his limp, Betty assumed he had a Charlie Horse. Betty wanted to chide him about not taking care of his body, about his inability to treat it as something better than a dumpster for all his repressed feelings. It wasn’t her place, though. Not anymore.

Besides, it seemed cruel to point out, especially after he’d been on the verge of being tortured –

“I don’t need your help,” he said when he returned, his words still punctured by small gasps. “I had everything covered.”

She snorted and stood up to face him. A chill ran through her as the wind picked up, but she diverted the movement into massaging at her damaged wrist. Jughead, still as perceptive as ever, didn’t miss her wince. He reached towards her, his eyes fixed on her wrist. Realizing what he was about to do, he stopped short and bent over to retie his shoe.

Even from this angle Betty could see how thin he was.

“I’m sure you did,” she said. Even as the adrenaline seeped out of her body she still couldn’t keep the acid from her voice. “That great, big escape plan of yours was going swell, though I’m curious as to what you were planning after you got chained up in the basement and held to the wall with duct tape. Or did I miss something when I broke in?”

Half her words were covered up by an angry burst of thunder. Perhaps it was for the best; they’d both been through a lot. Or, perhaps it would have been better to put it all out there, fight out their anger until there was nothing left remaining.

Jughead’s lip curled, and Betty knew he’d caught enough.

Betty narrowed her eyes. Despite everything, she still didn’t know whether to trust him. There had been too much time between them, too much space and anger and - Not to mention his aliens and her serial killer.

“You can’t drive stick with a broken wrist.”

“It’s not broken,” she said petulantly, her lip pursed like Juniper’s when she didn’t get the last cookie.

Knowing that he was right, she dug into her coat pocket, angry with Jughead and herself. Another gust of wind blew through their wet cloths, and they huddled into the cab of the truck. As the engine turned over, Jughead scrubbed at the window with his damp shirtsleeves, trying to break through the fog that had followed them. The water streaked across, unable to change, and he gave up on the idea. With a grunt, he shifted into drive and turned towards town.

“Stupid,” he muttered, and Betty side-eyed him.

Her first instinct was that he was talking about her, and she bit down on the inside of her cheek to keep from snapping. After everything she’d done tonight, and he still couldn’t think anyone could care for him. Betty stared out of the window, her fingers pushing and prodding against the delicate skin on her wrist, revealing in the sharp jolts of pain and irritation. Eventually the pain cleared through her fog of anger and she realized he was likely talking to himself.

“Just –“

Jughead stopped, cursing under his breath. They came to a blind curve, halfway under water, and he shifted to first gear. As they crept along Betty’s eyes began to shut. She could feel her muscles relaxing as the adrenaline wore off, and the only thing that kept her awake was the potholes in the road. In the flashes of lightening above them, she could see Jughead’s jaw clenching as he worked to keep something in check.

Fine, she thought idly as darkness consumed her. Let him be mad. It wouldn’t be the first time he didn’t want to be near her.

She was startled awake when the engine stopped. In front of them was the Andrews’ home, normally bright and cheery, but in this light it was eerily still in the pouring rain.

“He’s not home tonight,” Jughead said flatly. “You can stay in his room. Unless you want to go home.”

Betty shook her head, trying not to let her fear overtake her. The house was empty and would be for the next week. They still hadn’t heard anything about Polly, and Alice had taken the twins upstate to try and get their mind off of it. After tonight (any night, every night, ever since – she cut off that particular voice, struggling to keep that terrible week out of her head), the last thing she wanted to do was to be alone.

The thought sent a shudder through her and she wrapped her arms around herself to try and keep the chill from sprinting down her back.

Jughead nodded, still staring straight ahead. He’d pulled the keys from the ignition and was now jangling them in his hand. He opened the car door and stepped out into the rain, not seeming to care whether Betty followed him or not. She scrambled out of the car, towards the front door and slipped in after him.

She held her breath, waiting in the long stretch of dark, for the lights to turn on. When they did, it was nothing more than Archie’s living room, still messy and smelling slightly of old clothing and pizza.

Jughead stalked towards the kitchen, his face set in an emotion she couldn’t discern anymore. A gut feeling told her it was because she was a stranger here, one who was encroaching not only on his ‘investigation’ but also on his personal space.

“I’ll make coffee,” Jughead said gruffly. “Take a shower or you’ll catch a cold.”

The way he’d said it, matter-of-factly and without any emotion behind it, contrasted so sharply with the fact that he’d remembered. He remembered, and wanted to let her know he’d remembered that she was prone to get colds when it rained. These little things twisted the knife deeper into her back and she tried not to think about her last foray into this home.

“Thanks,” Betty said softly.

She barely glanced at the mirror when she stepped into the bathroom. A thick cover of mud coated her lower half, while leaves had taken up residence in her hair. Her wrist, still throbbing and sore, was a swollen bright red. As bad as she might have looked, Betty revealed in the metaphorical duality of it all. Long ago, she might have said she was a good person, untouched by the corruption of life. Now, though, she felt as dirty and broken as she looked.

Pity about the boots though. Real suede apparently didn’t mix well with the more wild side of life. Betty didn’t dare think about what it would cost to buy Veronica a new pair.

The pipes groaned as the water warmed up. Peeling off her clothes was a chore, the damp, clinging clothes didn’t want to cooperate. The wet slap of them on the floor was a loud echo as she stepped into the shower.

The warm water was practically sinful after tonight. She let it cascade down her skin and shut her eyes to the world around her. Every inch of her body felt sore and bruised. She dreaded even thinking about how she’d feel tomorrow.

A draft of cold air sent goosebumps along her skin and Betty stilled. She trusted Jughead, of course, and yet…

The door shut again, and she peered around the curtain to find a set of clothing on the counter. Her heart stopped when she recognized a grey S from so long ago. Reluctant to let it out of her sight, Betty pulled the shower curtain to. He’d always had a bad habit of forming sentimental attachments to things, to items that had no right to such kindness.

But to have kept that shirt all these years? To have kept her shirt? Surely not. Surely her eyes, tired and sore from lack of sleep, had deceived her.

The ghost of her guilt churned again, deeper this time. A sharp pain went through her stomach – of guilt? regret? hope?

Betty picked up the bar of soap in her uninjured hand and scrubbed at her skin, hot tears running cold against her cheeks. Careless. She was always so careless with everything worth while. Archie’s hands ghosted across her skin, his lips, his whispers they both knew were lies. She was only looking for an escape, not another well to get trapped in. This time, though, she couldn’t think of a single way to escape.

A sob broke from her lips, and then another, and another. She shoved her fist against her mouth and curled up at the bottom of the tub. It was all she could do to keep from breaking up. A part of her, the one that saw reason, was surprised it hadn’t happened earlier tonight when she’d seen Jughead half-conscious with a red welt on his forehead. His head lolled absently against a support beam. His hands tightly bound with duct tape. Tight enough they were turning purple. Those stupid glasses lay at his feet only to reflect the beam of her flashlight onto the chains that bound him.

Images, real and imagined, flashed before her eyes. The well. TBK laughing above her. Polly, bound and gagged in the back of a cab. The twins, facedown in Sweetwater. Squeeky Fromme’s dead eyes staring up at the night sky, milky and flat. Jughead’s hands –

Betty shook her head, trying to shake the images away. No, that hadn’t happened, she chanted internally. It’s not real.

Not this time.

Long after the water had run cold, Betty finally came back to herself. Her movements were slow and forced; her head felt uselessly full of cotton. With a groan, she stood up and gasped as pins and needles threw her back to the ground. Unable to do anything, Betty turned off the water, gritting her teeth as she waited for the feeling to come back into her legs.

Into her life, even.

Now, with only the steady drip of a leaky faucet to keep her company, Betty heard just how quiet it was in the house. The wind blew outside, stronger than ever, but it seemed as if the house itself had gone into hibernation. Jughead had likely gone to bed, she realized. Or maybe he’d been smart enough to know he should see a doctor after all.

Perhaps that would be best. Then they could both pretend tonight had never happened and go back to the chilly detente they’d found themselves living in.

With an anticipatory wince, Betty hauled herself up and out of the tub. As she reached for the towel, she realized that the shirt loudly proclaimed ‘El Royale Gym’ in bright red letters. She scowled at the dancing rooster, ordering it to be something other than it was. Clearly, though, she’d been wrong.

Roughly, she pulled the shirt over her head, her damp hair catching at the collar, and stepped into the gym shorts. Why she put herself through this, why she tortured herself with something so impossible –

“Coffee’s on the counter,” Jughead said when she stepped out. His fingers flew over the keyboard, his eyes never leaving the screen.

At least some things never changed, she supposed. Even that, though, rang hollow after what they’d been through tonight.

Betty wrapped her hands around the mug, grateful for something to occupy herself with. She sipped at it a moment, giving him the chance to say something. Do something. When he didn’t, she didn’t know whether she felt relief, or disappointment.

It wasn’t until she reached the stairs that he finally spoke.

“Just tell me why you did it,” he said.

She hesitated, knowing that this was her own personal Maginot line. Crossing this would mean the end of one life, and the beginning of another strange reality, one where she would have no control.

“Why did you come after me? Why didn’t you call Sheriff Keller, or Archie, or –“

“Because I’m still in love with you,” Betty said. Her voice was no more than a soft sigh, but it was enough to bring about a sudden calmness.

The calm before the storm, she thought morbidly. Whatever would happen now, whatever was said…

She waited, counting to a hundred. When he didn’t say anything, she set the coffee down on a side table and went to Archie’s room, shutting the door softly behind her.

(Part 2 here)

#bughead fanfic #prompt #riverdale #but instead of saying art i'm saying angst (with the long a like ahngst)#pretend i'm posing like that art dude from the iron giant

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where-theres-smoak-2 · 2 years

Text

Riverdale 4x17 Rewatch

So it’s been two years since the Hedwig musical episode of season 4 so I decided to rewatch the episode and it made me kind of nostalgic. I know alot of people hate the musical episodes but I actually really enjoyed 4x17. I liked the music for once and its the one musical episode where I have gone back and listened to the songs repeatedly over the last two years, I loved the attention that was given to Kevin and that Casey was given the opportunity to shine, and being a barchie shipper I loved all the barchie content we got too. There were just so many fun scenes in this episode. Some of my favourite moments were:

Kevin’s speech to Mr Honey the line ‘we are relentlessly slammed by crisis after crisis, and we take it and we are numb, yes, but also screaming on the inside.’ I remember this line hitting hard when I first watched it but it hits even harder now with the global situation at the moment and everything that’s happened over the last two years.

I also loved his performance of Tear Me Down. His costume was amazing, I loved the look on Mrs Bell face when he was making the announcement over the tannoy, Cheryl blowing a kiss to Toni, Kevin kissing Archie, Kevin’s mike drop at the end, I just loved the energy of the whole thing.

The sleepover and the wig in a box scenes were also great, I wish we got more scenes like it, where we see an assemble of the characters and see them actually acting like friends and comforting each other. I always enjoy the scenes that bring all or alot of the characters together.

Okay the Sugar Daddy song did have a questionable topic and lyrics for a teenage girl to be performing and was not the best choice for Cheryl to use when trying to make a point to Mr Honey, but I can’t lie that choni did have some cute moments in that performance and the song is kind of catchy.

I also loved the scene where the whole school dressed up as Hedwig to support Kevin and confront Mr Honey. I mean damn did reggie in particular look good in that get up, I do wonder where the students got so many matching costumes and wigs though?

The scene in the garage where Archie is talking to Betty about his dad also made me really emotional. Especially when he flashed back to that moment in season 1 where he got stage fright but seeing his dad gave him the courage to perform. I miss Fred and Luke Perry.

The performance of Origin of Love was one of, if not my favourite performance in the episode, I love the longer studio release of it even more. The core four’s voices work together really well and think they all did a great job with the song. I also loved the barchie moments in this scene. I do think they were wrong for cheating, obviously, but also I can’t deny the scene was really well written and as someone who loved Barchie from the pilot episode I loved this scene and had been waiting for it for a long long time. The build up to the kiss was incredible with all the flashbacks to season 1 barchie and their kiss in season 2, it really built that nostalgia first and then you get the kiss and I remember when I first watched it I could hardly believe it had actually happened, I just kind of sat there in a bit of a daze staring open mouthed at the screen.

That being said one clever thing the writers did was showing those conflicted emotions the characters feel right after. I mean the very next scene is where Betty and Jughead and Archie and Veronica are talking and making up after their fights and it really pulls you down from that high. I remember feeling very elated in the moment when Barchie kissed but then feeling really terrible and conflicted for both Jughead and Veronica because whilst I might not ship those ships I still care about Jughead and Veronica as characters and didn’t want to see them hurt, so it was a very conflicting feeling and I think it kind of puts you in the characters shoes because Betty and Archie I think were also feeling very much that way. There is alot of angst in those scenes but I happen to really enjoy angsty scenes, just as much as cutesy scenes.

Whilst my favourite song to listen to is origin of love I will admit my favourite one to watch is Wicked Little Town Reprise. It’s my favourite scene in the whole episode and one of my favourite barchie moments. There’s just so much to it, there’s the regret from the pilot and from the cheating, there’s the longing, there are little glimmers of nostalgic happiness. There is just something so painful but also so romantic about the scene. I loved that they were both dressed in the same outfits from the pilot and the flashback to them dancing together. It was like they just wanted to travel back in time for a moment and play it out differently. The scene just looked so pretty too with the lights spinning around them and the LOVE sign in the background.

The last performance, Midnight Radio, was an interesting one. As I said before I love scenes where the whole cast are there. The whole scene had this sense of unity where the whole town has come together and they are all joining in with the song. I loved the little choni moments in there and the serpents and Reggie getting a shout out. But there was also an underlying theme of divide too, within the core four. They are singing this song about coming together and you can see Betty and Archie throwing longing looks at each other and there are times where they are tense or uncomfortable and Jughead and Veronica have no idea and actually seem happy and relaxed which is a complete contrast to Betty and Archie. So its this interesting but weird contradiction going on, the conflicting themes of unity and coming together within the town as a whole but also the divide and the falling apart of the core four. It just made the scene a really interesting watch for me. But on a side note I did think them taking the performance to the roof was a bit odd. Was that suppose to be a call back to when Josie and the Pussycats performed Milkshake on the roof?

Anyway, I can understand why some people didn’t enjoy the episode, if you don’t like musicals or the music in the episode or you don’t ship barchie, or Kevin isn’t your favourite character, I can understand it not being a favourite. But I actually really enjoyed this episode, I still enjoyed it rewatching it two years later. It’s kind of fun to go back and see how much the characters and relationship dynamics have changed, it did make me miss choni even more though I hope they come back soon. Also I did enjoy the music alot more in this one I don’t know if its because its a different style of music and it suits the actors more? So yeah after a rewatch I have concluded this episode is still my favourite musical episode so far. I wonder if the next one will top it or not? I’ve heard they are doing American Psycho and I’ll be honest I know very little about that musical, I think it has something to do with a serial killer?

#riverdale #riverdale 4x17 #rewatch #barchie #choni #kevin keller

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perfectlywrongformend3s · 3 years

Text

Losing my mind- Betty Cooper x reader

Request: @thefanfictionmap: what if Betty Cooper found out you self harmed? Can you please do a fanfic on this? the reader's twin's dead and she is a serpent and losing control she self harms and betty just sees her lots of angst please

Word count: 1,803

Warning: Self harm will be talked about in this. Lots of angst.

A/n: If any of you guys need to talk my inbox is always open or talk to someone you have full trust in. Please don’t hurt yourself because that is never the option.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your POV

I was walking around the halls in school instead of hanging out with friends in the lounge. I was trying not to think of this week because it's the week my twin sister/brother died. There was a massive car crash and they happened to be involved. I eventually stopped thinking about it and headed to class super early.

Betty’s POV

I was in the student lounge with everyone in the friend group. I started looking around the room to find Y/n/n since she wasn’t here yet. I started getting a little nervous because she normally is the first one here.

“ Betty? You okay there?” I heard from a crossed from me

I nodded, “ Yea I am sorry. I was just seeing if Y/n was anywhere in the room.”

They all looked around the room before the bell rang to head to class. When I walked into the biology room to find her sitting in the back of the classroom already. I walked up to her and sat next to her.

“ Hey Y/n/n” I said softly

She turned her head to look at me. “ Hi.” she whispered

Before she could turn around again I gently grabbed her arm and asked...

“ Are you okay? It looks like you have been crying.”

She just smiled and nodded her head. I gave her a small smile back and let go of her arm.

Time Skip

I was heading to my lunch table outside with my friends when I saw Y/n sitting down on the ground with her back against a tree. I stopped walking and debated going over there. Instead of thinking it over I just started walking in that direction.

Your POV

I walked outside and found a tree to sit against since I didn't feel like sitting with my friends. Once I got comfortable I pulled out a book and read while eating my lunch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I heard footsteps heading this way so I looked up to find Betty walking this way. I gave her a smile and motioned her to join me. She gladly joined me and smiled.

“ Hi Y/n/n”

“ Hi.” I said

I put my book down after saving my page and turned to face her. She giggled and turned to face me.

“ How have you been?” She asked me

I sighed and looked down. I felt her grab my hands. “ Y/n/n is everything okay.”

I smiled and tried to keep up the happy act but I felt a tear run down my face. I shook my head no.

“ Y/n/n.” she said

Betty’s POV

I knew right when the first tear ran down her face that she was going to break down. I grabbed her shoulders and pulled her into my chest. I then rubbed up and down or back.

“ Shhh. You're going to be okay. Just let it out.” I whispered softly in her ear

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I felt her breathing slow down and carefully asked...

“ Do you want to talk about it now?”

I felt her shake her head no. I sighed and nodded my head.

“ Well you ready to head to class because the bells are about to ring.”

She nodded her head and sat up and got everything back into her bag. Before I got to say anything to her she got up and left. I let out another sigh and started heading to class.

“ Hey Betts, You alright.” I heard from behind me

I turned and saw Jughead say. “ Yea I fine, just worried that's all.”

He looked at me confused, “ Worried about what.”

I slowed my waking down and said...

“ I worried about Y/n/n.”

He stopped me right at the classroom door “ Why what's wrong with her?”

Before I could answer him the teacher told us to come inside before we were late. I gave him a look that said tell you later.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jughead’s POV

I was at my locker putting things away when I saw Betty heading to the door. I slammed my locker shut and ran to catch up to her.

“ Betty!” I yelled

She turned her head and had a look of concern written on her face, so I speeded up to her and hugged her a little. After the hug I let her go and asked with worry...

“ Are you okay? What’s got you so concerned?”

She sighed. “ It’s Y/n she won't let me in. She always shrugs me off when I ask how she's doing or if she's okay. What am I doing wrong Jug.”

I looked at her. “ Betty don't worry so much, she’ll come around and give her some time. I mean don’t you remember what day it is for her.”

I saw her eyes widen. She then hit my arm before saying...

“ OMG! I forgot. I have to check on her.”

Before I could say anything she was already booking it to Y/n’s house. I sighed and watched her disappear before heading to my trailer.

Your POV

I threw my backpack on the ground of my empty house since my parents were still at work. I ran upstairs to my bathroom and stared at my reflection in the mirror. The only thing I saw was a broken girl staring back at me. I could feel my eyes welling up with tears. I turned my best not to let them fall but I could help myself and broke down crying. I slid against the bathroom wall and cried.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a couple mins of crying, I did the thing I like to do best that helps get rid of the pain I feel every single day. I got up and opened my drawer and grabbed my razor and pulled my sleeves up and lined the razor to my skin. I thought for a second before sliding the razor crossed my wrist. I cut about 3 on each of my wrists.

Betty’s POV

When I made it to her house I was out of breath but I noticed the front door was not shut all the way. So I made my way carefully in her house to hear cries coming from upstairs so I put down my back pack and headed up the flight of stairs two at a time. When I got to her bathroom I could feel my eyes water at the sight of her. Before I let it process in my mind I ran up to her and took the razor out of her hand. I then pulled her into me and whispered..

“ Y/n/n why, just why. Let me in please.”

I could feel her shaking due to the tears of her own. I heard her say...

“ I can’t live with the pain anymore. I just want off this planet. No one will care about me anyway. All I want to do is be with them.”

I could feel my own tears fall down my face. I pulled away and wiped the tears with my thumb and said...

“ Please don't say those things Y/n/n. You are loved by everyone. I know the pain is going to get some use to, but I will help you every step of the way. That’s what friends are for right.”

She just nodded her head. I looked at her and then looked down at her arms. I carefully grabbed them and said...

“ Can I help clean them?”

She then gave me another nod. So I carefully grabbed her hands and pulled her up to her feet.

“ Okay, can you sit on the counter for me.”

She smiled and nodded. She pulled herself on the counter with only one wince do to her arms.

“ Are you okay?” I asked when I heard her wince.

“ Yea.” She said in whisper

I smiled and got ready to work on her arms. I could feel her eyes on me.

Your POV

I was watching Betty wrap my arms and it gave me sometime to look at her features. I loved her eyes. They were blue as the ocean with a hint of green. I also noticed how sharp her jaw line is and smiled. I felt butterflies swim around in my stomach when her eyes met with my y/e/c eyes.

She let out a little giggle..” What’s up.”

I gave her a small smile. “ Nothing, just admiring your features.”

“ We'll stop it.” She said shyly

“ No, because you are beautiful Betty Cooper.” I stated

I saw a hint of blush form on her cheeks. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her in for a hug.

“ Thank you for helping me and stopping me Betty.” I whispered, getting emotional again.

I felt her pull away from the hug. “ Aww, Y/n/n I am always here if you need someone to talk to. Don’t ever hurt yourself again because that is not the answer.”

I smiled and hugged her again. I felt her lift me off the counter so I wrapped my legs around her waist.

Betty’s POV

I lifted her off the counter and felt her legs go around my waist. I smiled and moved over to her bed so we could lay down. When we got to the bed she immediately clung to me like a kola which mad me giggle. I just wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer even if that was possible since she was already laying on me.

“ I love you Y/n/n” I whispered in her ear

“ I love you to Betty.” I heard her soft angel like voice say

I smiled and kissed the top of her head. The next thing I knew was falling asleep holding my best friend tightly in my arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/n: Please and I mean please don’t under any circumstance hurt yourself because you are beautiful and you matter in this world. Don’t listen to anyone. You will be missed from the people who love you. If you ever need to talk I am always here or talk to an adult you trust or friend. I know I said this at the top but I wanted to make sure you know how much support you have in your life.

-Samantha

#betty cooper #riverdale #riverdale imagines #riverdale imagine #betty cooper imagine #Betty Cooper x reader #Betty Cooper x y/n #Betty Cooper x #Betty Cooper x you #betty cooper imagines #Betty Cooper fanfic #Betty Cooper fic #Betty Cooper angst #angst #self harm #mine #requested

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heytherejulietx · 4 years

Text

Blood ~ Jughead Jones

Masterlists

Notes - So this one might suck but I wanted to post it anyways because this is the first WIP I’ve finished in a while. Tell me what you think!

Warnings - Blood, mentions of violence, swearing, angst.

Word count - 1.3k.

Riverdale tag list - @idont-knowrn @bucky-j-barnes @adorably-sweet-hufflepuff

Jughead tag list - @kpopgirlbtssvt

If you’d like to be added to any tag list please just ask!

Her entire body flinched when the door had slammed open. It hit the wall so hard that it shook the thin walls of the trailer, and probably left a dent in the wall where the door handle had impacted first. Y/N's eyes immediately shot over to watch as Jughead slammed the door behind him again, and didn't even spare her a glance as he stalked through the trailer towards the bathroom.

"Jug?" She asked, clearly concerned as she stood up to follow him. "Hey, what happened?" She asked when he hadn't responded.

"Nothing." He responded through gritted teeth, his body tensing up.

Before he could walk into the bathroom she reached out to grab a fistful of his leather sleeve, trying to stop him. "Baby talk to me, what happened?"

"Nothing, will you just wait out there?"

Y/N almost flinched when he had turned back to look at her with such an angry expression. He had never once looked at her like that, and it truthfully scared her. He looked almost... murderous. She opened her mouth to say something else, wanting to know what possibly could have happened to get him in such a state, though she froze when she caught sight of his hands. They were covered in blood. When she looked closer she could see the crimson liquid also was staining his shirt, and it was enough to make her feel nauseated. Though the thing that scared her the most was that she could tell it wasn't his.

It was someone else's.

"Jug?" She whispered, reaching for his hand, only to have him pull it away immediately. "What happened."

He hesitated again. She watched as his eyebrows furrowed and a small crease formed in between them, a frown curving his lips downwards. His posture remained stiff as he took in a deep breath, before just closing his eyes as he shook his head. "We took care of Penny."

If she had felt sick before, she felt one-hundred times worse after he had said that. He took care of Penny... as in he killed her? Her eyes scanned over the blood again and she held her breath as the possibility of him having actually killed someone ran through her mind.

Could he?

"You didn't... she's not..."

"No." Jughead opened his eyes to look at her again. "No, we didn't kill her. You really think I'd do that?" He snapped, and her eyes widened at the harshness in his tone again.

Jughead saw this and just sighed, his eyes closing again as his lips formed a thin line. “Sorry.” His voice broke, as did the shell of his non-affected persona. She could see then how scared he was, how guilty he was; and it broke her heart.

Y/N swallowed harshly and hesitated before she took his hand. Thankfully the blood had dried over his hands, because she would have been sick if it was still warm and wet. “Let’s get you cleaned up, okay? Then we can talk if you want.” She forced a small smile in his direction, and watched as he nodded his head, though his eyes still didn’t meet hers.

Her hand dropped his as she opened the bathroom door and she stepped inside, letting him follow her inside as she started running a warm sink of water and wet one of the two washcloths that were there. Jughead kept silent as he sat on the closed lid of the toilet, one of his legs bouncing uncontrollably - something he did when he was stressed.

Nothing was said as she took the wet wash cloth and stood in between his legs as she started getting the blood off of his hands, still feeling nauseated. This was Jughead. Her childhood best friend. The boy who was so kind and sweet, now part of a gang and hurting people.

“Are you scared of me?” Jughead broke the silence with a quiet question and his serious gaze piercing into hers.

“No.” She told him truthfully, letting his left hand go once it was clean before she wet the washcloth again to start cleaning up his right hand. “I’m just worried.”

“I’m sorry.” Jughead whispered, his expression a light scowl as his gaze returned to his hands again.

“What did you even do?” Y/N whispered, and didn’t miss the way his jaw clenched at the question. The silence brewed for another moment, though once it was clear that she seriously wanted to know he sighed and closed his eyes.

“Me and some of the Serpents took Penny to the outside of Greendale,” Jughead started, his leg bouncing again. “We threw her to the floor, told her never to come back here, and...” His voice wavered a little and he had to pause as he took in a deep breath. “And I got Sweet Pea and Toni to hold her still as I cut her Serpent tattoo off of her arm.”

Y/N almost didn’t believe him. She wouldn’t have if it wasn’t for the almost haunted expression he wore over his face. But she didn’t want to believe him. She didn’t want to believe her boyfriend was capable of throwing somebody in a ditch and cutting a part of their arm off, though clearly he was.

“Are you scared of me now?” He whispered as she had kept silent for a long moment.

Y/N shook her head again. Scared wasn’t the right word, she knew he could never hurt her. She was more just utterly concerned. “Why would you cut her?” She whispered, her eyebrows furrowing as she locked her gaze with his again.

“We had no other choice.” Jughead shook his head. “You know what she was doing, what she would have done if she was there for any longer. We had to get rid of her.”

“You didn’t have to cut her.”

“Don’t you think I know that!” His yell bounced off of the thin walls of the small bathroom, and she couldn’t help but flinch in surprise, her eyes widening. Jughead looked at her for a moment, guilt crossing his expression, before he sighed and put his head in his hands. “I know. I fucked up. I shouldn’t have cut her. I shouldn’t have thrown her in a ditch and yelled at her. We could have gotten her out a better way. But we didn’t, and we fucked it up.” His hand moved through his hair and tugged on it stressfully. Only when he looked up at her again did she the tears that were glazing over his blue eyes like freshly cut glass.

Y/N frowned and opened her arms for him, to which he leaned into and moved his arms around her waist. His head leaned against his chest and his hands gripped her shirt as his shoulders started shaking with the cries that left him. She held onto him tightly as he cried and pressed a kiss against his head, not letting go of him as he cried. They were like that for maybe ten minutes until Jughead sighed, now silent as he pulled out of her embrace to look up at her.

“I’m terrified.” He admitted in a whisper. “That she’ll come back and continue dragging my dad down. Or me down. Or the rest of the fucking Serpents.”

“You don’t know if she’s coming back.” She whispered and cupped his face in her hands - running the pads of her thumbs underneath his eyes to rid him of the freshly-shed tears that moved down his cheeks. “And if she does then we’ll deal with it when it comes up, okay?”

Jughead just nodded, his shoulders slumping as he leaned forwards to lean his head against her chest again. Her eyes closed as she held onto him, not able to help the tears building in her own eyes as she looked down at him, her boyfriend.

Though now it was like he was a completely different person. And that scared her more than anything else.

#amber’s writing #riverdale #riverdale imagines #riverdale imagine #riverdale oneshot #riverdale one shot #riverdale fic #riverdale angst #jughead #jughead jones #jughead x reader #jughead jones imagine #jughead jones oneshot #jughead jones one shot #jughead jones fic #jughead jones angst #jughead jones reader insert #jughead jones x you #jughead jones x y/n

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closedmadness · 4 years

Text

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊

summary: jughead always chose betty over you despite being best friends with you much longer. you made an effort, did everything for him, gave him your everything. but still, it wasn’t enough. you wanted him to choose you, but he never did; your first love ended in a painful heartbreak — and as if the universe is giving you another chance, you met a new boy with raven hair and a serpent tattoo on his neck

pairings: jughead jones x male reader, sweet pea x male reader

warnings → angst・fucking angst・suicide attempt・shitty mother・verbal abuse・self-harm・swearing・alcohol・maybe a little tiniest bit of a fluff (idk there might be none)・sweet pea being a sweetie

a/n: part two is up!!

veronica, kevin and archie looked at you in pity and sadness as you watched betty and jughead chatting together across the room. it was cheryl’s party and each people were spending their night joyful, jamming along the blasting music that played in the background, the only person who didn’t seem to be enjoying this night was you.

you can’t when you’re watching the love of your life gaze lovingly at the love of his life.

the three of your friends were well aware of your feelings for the beanie-wearing boy and always tried to convince you to confess to him, but you always resisted. it was no point in confessing to him when his heart is already taken by the blonde beauty.

“(y/n/n)... don’t stare at them, you’re only going to hurt yourself.” veronica told you softly, placing her hand above yours. “i can’t watch you be so sad over them anymore.” she said with a sad look on her face.

you turned towards her and covered your aching heart. “i’m not sad over them, ronnie. why would i be? jughead is in love with betty and he’s happy being in love.” you smiled, but it came out forced.

veronica sighed, shaking her head. kevin placed his hand on your shoulder, “(y/n), everyone can see the way you look at them. the only people who doesn’t see it are betty and jughead.” you just shrugged at him in return and looked down at the alcohol you were holding.

Betty and Jughead weren’t together, but they were in love with each other. Everyone can see it and even when it was painful for you, you saw it too. Their eyes literally lights up when the others entered the room, they make googly love eyes towards each other, and Jughead literally does everything for Betty.

Meanwhile, everyone sees the way you gaze after him longingly. Veronica, Archie and Kevin were always the witness of you doing everything for Jughead despite being unappreciated. They saw how you helped Jughead dress up for Betty, how you gave him advices to impress her, how you always asked him to hang out with you only to get rejected because he was going to hang out with Betty. They witnessed every moment of your heartbreak; it hurts them how you care selflessly for Jughead but he doesn't see it.

“(Y/n), you gotta stop this.” Archie said softly, trying to talk some sense into you. “You're just killing yourself. You try to impress him, hang out with him, help him with everything, but he doesn't even give you any attention, yet you're still trying.”

“Why do you still try?” Kevin was next to ask, his tone as soft as Archie's.

You sighed, licking your lips and avoiding eye contact with them. “I guess there's just still a part of me that hopes he will notice me someday. That he will choose me. All these efforts, this– this sacrifices? I'm only doing it because I have a hope that he will.” You looked up from the floor to them and was met with three disapproving looks.

“(Y/n/n)...” Veronica starts, her voice soft as well, but had a firm tone in it. “How much do you have to get hurt for you to finally realize that he won't notice you?”

It was harsh, but true. That is the reality and Veronica is just trying to snap you out of your stupidity. But you can't. You loved Jughead too much, it was almost impossible for you to let go of him. You couldn't give up — he was your long time crush, probably since middle school. Everything about him made you love him even more, and even when there wasn't a day he didn't gawk at Betty, you still believe that there's a chance for you.

You were blinded by your love for him. Everyone could tell and they had to witness every time how you destroy yourself by trying to get Jughead to notice you. It was killing them, but they knew it killed you more than it did to them.

“(Y/n), don't you not remember the day he turned you down to hang out with Betty?” Kevin asked.

You approached Jughead who was sitting alone on the corner of the cafeteria, hiding two movie tickets in your pocket, excitement radiating off of you. “Hey, Jug!” You greeted him cheerfully, sitting down beside him and slinging your arm around his shoulder.

“Hey, (Y/n).” He greeted you back, not even glancing up at you as he typed on his laptop about a new novel he was writing.

You brushed it off as a usual thing to happen, since Jughead often ignored people when he was writing his new novel. “So, Jug. I was thinking movie night today. How do you feel about it?” You said with joy.

However, Jughead didn't seem to be interested as he continued to type away on his laptop. “Uh, I can't. I have to finish this.” He rejected, eyes buried on the screen.

You frowned. It's been quite long since you two hang out and Jughead never rejected a offer to watch a movie. “But you can finish it anyday.”

He sighed, shaking his head. “I can't. Sorry.” Clearly, his apology wasn't genuine by the tone in his voice. Your frown deepened, but didn't say anything and just stood up to walk away from him.

Later that night, you asked Kevin to watch a movie with you instead because you didn't want to waste the ticket. It was pretty expensive, considering you wanted to impress Jughead, and the fact that you didn't get to watch it with him made you sulk slightly. Kevin was there to cheer you up, though. The two of you were going to head over at Pop's when Kevin abruptly stopped after seeing something behind the glass windows of the diner.

He caught your arm before you could go close to the diner and pointed at the two people inside. “Isn't that...?” He trailed off and your eyes went to search for what he was talking about, then saw Jughead with Betty on one of the booth, smiling at each other.

You felt your heart ache as soon as they filled your vision. “He- he told me he have to finish his novel today...”

Kevin frowned. “And he went to hang out with Betty? What the hell?”

You took a deep breath after the flashback ended, looking at Kevin slowly. “I remember it, Kev. But still...” You looked down again.

Veronica sighed, “Do you also remember when you had a family problem? And he didn't even want to listen?” A frown appeared on your lips at that.

He didn't want to listen, and he said it was because others have problems too and that he can't help you. But after that, he went on helping Betty with her problems and Veronica had to comfort you the whole night for two reasons; one because of your shitty mother and two because Jughead was being unfair. However, even after that, you went back to doing everything for him being the little love-blind person that you are. That was the exact day when Veronica realized how much you love Jughead, and how much he was wasting you.

You drink the alcohol from the plastic cup, trying hard to erase the memory from your mind.

Everything you did for Jughead was because you love him, and you were starting to wonder why he hasn’t look at you yet. Whenever he needed you, you were there. But when you needed him, he was nowhere to be seen and is hanging out with Betty. In all honesty, it’s getting exhausting — hoping endlessly for him to notice you, doing everything to help him with his problems, giving him your everything, you were willing to give him everything.

Yet here you are, still alone and broken.

He doesn’t even look at you. He’s just too focused on Betty that you were sure he doesn’t care about you anymore. The destiny was being cruel; preventing you from being with the boy you love and instead giving him someone to love, so he wouldn’t dare end up with you.

It hurts. It damn hurts. And you don’t understand why you’re still in love with him and is willing to give him everything despite knowing he wouldn’t give you back what you gave him, specially his heart. He would be giving his heart to Betty and not to you, even after all your efforts and sacrifices.

“I just want him to love me back.” You muttered quietly, watching as Betty and Jughead stared lovingly into each other’s eyes.

It was too quiet, but your three friends managed to hear it. They heard it. Your wish, your desperate wish. And there was nothing they can do but to look down, knowing whatever words they say to comfort you won’t change Jughead’s feelings for Betty.

And deep down, you knew that fact even when it felt like someone stabbed your heart with a knife repeatedly.

“You little shit!” Your mother shouts, hitting you across the face.

Your cheek stings at where she slapped you, but you barely flinched at her sudden outburst and just stood there facing the floor. “This is the only score you’ve got? 92 out of 100? What kind of shit is this!?” She yelled angrily, crumpling your test result. “I’m paying for your education, (Y/n), and this is how you repay me? By getting a half assed score when it could have been a perfect 100!?”

She was totally furious about a fucking test result. Ridiculous, really. This started happening when your father left after he couldn’t deal with your mother’s drug addict behavior. He was a southside serpent and surely he could’ve handled her, but he chose to leave instead. Without even trying to take you with him.

It’s funny how cruel this world can be to you.

“I’m sorry, I will do better next time.” You apologized, still not meeting her gaze. It is easy for you to hit her and fight back, but you didn’t because she’s your mother. You still respected her in any way.

She scoffed, “Next time? I can’t even count how many times you told me you’ll be better next time, but came back with a fucking shitty result.” She spat with distaste in her tone.

You frowned, scrunching your eyebrows together and looked up at her. “Why do you hate me so much? I’m your son.”

“You’re not my son.” She snapped, making you flinch at how harsh her words are. “You were just an accident. You understand that? A fucking accident between me and your father that we never planned to happen. The worst part is, you grew up looking like your father. That face reminds me of him and makes me wish I never had you.” The pure hatred in her face was enough to make you believe her.

You swallowed, feeling tears welling up in your eyes and looked down, trying to hide it from her.

“What, are you gonna cry?” She said mockingly. “Of course. You’re gonna cry like a little cry baby that you always were. A pathetic, weak piece of shit that I’m absolutely ashamed to call my son.” She grabbed the jingle jangle on the table and glared at you like you were the worst thing that ever happened to your life. “I never wanted you, and never will.” With that, she walked out of the house to be a drug addict that she always was.

After she was gone from the house, you broke into tears and finally let them stream down your face, falling on your knees as your face twisted in complete pain and anguish.

Everything hurt; your heart, your chest, your whole body. It’s like the emotional and mental pain shifted into physical pain even when you weren’t being abused physically. The feeling of worthlessness appearing in both your heart and mind, as well as emptiness, sadness, pain and anguish.

Your cries were the cries of help, desperately wanting someone to show up and stop your pain for the better. But life wasn’t that easy. There was no one to stop it; not even Jughead, who used to always be with you and cared for you deeply.

Now, he was gone. He don’t care about you anymore. All he cares about was Betty and Betty only.

Tears continued to run down your cheeks, soaking your shirt as you sobbed violently, unable to contain yourself. “W-why...?” The void question came out from your lips between sobs, asking the universe why they were being cruel to you.

Though, it’s not like the universe or destiny will answer you.

It feels like you were being killed from the inside, like all the pain you experienced in your life are molding together and attacking you all at once. Everything hurt, and you were exhausted mentally, emotionally and spiritually. You just want to be happy and be with the love of your life. That was enough. That is enough. But then, life doesn’t let you be happy even for once.

You stumbled towards the bathroom, feeling the urge to hurt yourself to deal with the emotional pain. Opening the cabinet, you saw few blades laying there and took it out, setting it down on the sink.

You looked at yourself in the mirror and witnessed how much of a mess you are right now. Your eyes red and puffy from crying, tears were still streaming down your cheeks that had a red mark because of your mother’s slap, the look in your face practically screaming exhaustion. Your hair was a mess from you constantly running your hands through them while you were crying in the living room.

Your gaze returned to the blazes above the sink and takes it without even hesitating, moving up the sleeves to reveal your arms that was littered with scars of different sizes. Some were small, some were big, some were deep, some were not, but they were all old scars. Self-harm scars. You brought the blade down to your left wrist, beginning to run the blade slowly, watching as it cut through your skin and causing blood to come out. A relieved sigh leaves your lips — self-harming was never been a healthy way to deal with problems, but it made you relieved every time you do it. You feel like the emotional pain was leaving your body through the cuts that you made. There wasn’t any physical pain, but you were sure it will sting when you take a shower.

By the time you were satisfied, there were many cuts covering both of your wrists. Blood oozed out from the cuts that you found satisfying. If your mother was a drug addict, then maybe you’re a self-harm addict. This was your only way of escaping the pain.

You washed the blood away with water while ignoring the stinging pain it gave you before moving back to the living room and grabbing your phone, immediately entering your room afterwards. The tears already stopped by now thankfully.

You laid on the bed and unlocked your phone, only for it to ring right after. It was Jughead and a dark feeling spreads in your chest when you read his name on your phone screen, almost like something was going to go wrong if you answered it. Nonetheless, you pressed the answer button just in case it was emergency — a decision that you will regret sooner.

“(Y/n)!” Jughead’s excited voice called from the other line, making you smile.

“Hey, Jug.” You cleared your throat to regain control of your voice as it came out hoarse. “What’s up? Why do you sound excited?” You asked curiously.

There was a chuckle of joy before he spoke, “Guess what? I asked Betty if she will be my girlfriend and she said yes!”

You froze. Mind unable to process what he said as you stared at the ceiling blankly. In that moment, you heard your heart shatter in million pieces. The pain wasn’t even an ache anymore; it was more than that. His announcement just destroyed your heart completely.

Why is this happening to me? You thought, feeling the tears well up in your eyes again. It was surprising, really. With the amount of tears you cried earlier, you didn’t know there was still tears left to cry.

“(Y/n)? You there?” Jughead’s worried voice snapped you out of your misery.

You breathe out, “Yeah... yeah, I am. Lucky for you, Jug. Congratulations.” You swallowed as you felt like suffocating. “Uh... I’m sorry, I have to go.” The call ended as soon as you said that, not giving him any time to argue or protest.

Without a second thought, you grabbed your jacket and stormed out of the house, leaving your phone behind.

Maybe you were foolish.

Maybe you were an idiot to believe he would look at you the same way he looked at Betty if you tried enough.

Maybe... you were stupid for giving your everything to him until you were left with none. That’s exactly the reason why you felt empty right now anyway.

It was totally your fault. Veronica, Archie and Kevin warned you, told you to give up, but you didn’t. It was your fault. Everything just hurts and now you were sure Betty is the only one who has Jughead’s heart. There was nothing you can do about it.

Accept it, idiot. You thought to yourself.

Standing above the bridge that divided the Southside and the Northside, you looked at the river below. It was beautiful at night, the sound of water calming you. No one was in sight, which was pretty dangerous in your situation.

I could just jump and never come back. You thought as you looked at the river and leaned on the railings.

It will be easy. You just need to jump and drown. That way, you could finally end your miserable life. This excrusiating pain will stop for the better and you will be free from your drug addict mother. Everything will be okay if you just jumped. Your friends might be sad after your death, but they will get over it quickly. Veronica has Archie, Archie has Veronica, Kevin has Joaquin, Jughead has Betty. They will be okay.

You jumped slightly to sit on the railings and turned to the river, still contemplating your life. Nothing was good in it anyway.

Your mother was a drug addict who didn’t want you in her life, who never wanted you.

Your father left you long ago.

Jughead didn’t care about you but Betty.

Your three friends? They have each other.

Nothing will change even if you jump. There will be nothing to regret. It’s just an easy task.

“What are you doing here?” A deep voice suddenly asked, causing you to jump slightly startled. He chuckled at your reaction.

You glanced at him and turned back to the river, far away look in your eyes. “Contemplating my life.”

Panic flashed in the raven haired boy's expression, “Woah, woah, woah. Get away from there.” He ushered and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you away from the railings easily before spinning you around to face him. “What the hell are you really doing?”

You looked up, annoyed that he even thought he had the right to stop you, and widened your eyes when you came across a handsome face that you’ve never seen in your neighbourhood. “Oh, uhm...” You struggled to say it out loud, pushing yourself off of him upon noticing the close distance. “I was just admiring the river.”

He raised his brows; even though you were hiding it well, he could still see that you're lying. Definitely wasn't just admiring the river. “Well, you looked like you were about to jump. Is everything good?”

You sighed, going back to lean on the railings again and he quickly went beside you. “Everything is a mess.” You answered, having a far away look once again.

“Care to elaborate?” He asked and stared at your face. It was dark, but he could still make out the shape of your face and notice how good-looking you are.

“Well, a short summary of my life — my mom and dad had sex and accidentally had me. Mom became a drug addict, dad tried to be patient for her but eventually gave up and left. He didn't want to deal with her anymore and instead left me to deal with her.” A bitter chuckle left your lips. “Growing up, mom continued to verbally abuse me because she couldn't stand the thought of dad leaving us. So, I turned to my friends. Then, I fell in love with my best friend since middle school. I was blinded by my love for him and did everything for him when I clearly knew he's in love with a girl, hoping that one day he'll love me back. And an hour ago, he called to tell me he and the love of his life are now together, so there's that.” You shrugged trying to act nonchalant.

His face dropped at your story, almost as if feeling the pain you've gone through everyday. He knew you were trying not to cry by how your shoulders trembled, your lips pursed in a thin line to keep any sound from coming out. “Let it out.” He said, his hand going over to pat your back.

You shook your head, “I- I can't. I don't- I don't want to be weak.”

His brows furrowed. Who the hell teaches their child crying means weak? “Hey, crying doesn't make you weak. It makes you strong. Bottling those things up will only makes things worst, so you have to let it all out to make you feel better. Cry as many times as you want, I don't care.”

Those words were enough for the tears to come out as you let out a sob, breaking down for the second time this day in front of a boy that you don't even know.

However, he don't seem to mind as he patted your back gently and shift his body closer to you to give you comfort. He didn't get too close that you'll feel unconfortable, but maintained a slight distance from you. You cried like that for a while, letting out all your pain.

“Uh, thanks.” You said after your break down finished. “Your presence comforted me a lot.”

He flashed you a smile, “No problem. The name's Sweet Pea.” He said and extended his hand.

You raised your brows, a smirk of amusement appearing on your face. “That's a strangely cute name. I'm (Y/n) (L/n).”

“Yeah, don't mention it.” He says, shaking his head and you chuckled.

“Hey, don't be embarrassed. I like your name.”

“I like your name better.” He smirked. “So, what are you going to do now?”

You sighed heavily. “Nothing. I’m just gonna try to be happy for them. And if you’re asking about my mother, I don’t know. I just don’t want to go home yet.” You said and wrapped your arms around yourself in a comforting manner.

He hummed, “You wanna come to my place? I can let you stay in.”

Your brows raised in surprise as you looked at him, expecting him to be joking. “Are you serious? You shouldn’t be asking a stranger to come to your place. And I’m a northsider.”

He rolled his eyes, “I can’t let you go home when I know you have a shitty mother even when you’re a northsider.”

A smile slowly appeared on your lips and a look of gratitude flashed on your face. “Thank you, Sweet Pea. I appreciate it.” He smirked and nodded his head, before gesturing for you to follow him and you obliged as you didn’t see any reason to reject his offer.

Sweet Pea seems like a tough guy, but he’s a kind person. You knew that the moment he stopped you from jumping that bridge knowing you’re a northsider. A lot of people in the southside didn’t like northsiders, because they’re just a bunch of jocks who judges a person without getting to know them.

Looking at the southside serpents jacket he wore, you strangely felt safer than usual. You didn’t know whether it’s because he’s with you or the fact that you’re in the southside territory. There was something about this place that you couldn’t help but feel like home more than your own house.

The two of you reached a trailer and he twisted the doorknob, already knowing his door is unlocked. “You don’t lock your door?” You asked out of the blue.

He chuckles, “I do. My friends are here.” You just nodded quietly at his response. He opened the door and you could hear his friends laughing from inside the trailer as you both entered, the laughter stopping as soon as they realized you and Sweet Pea were in.

There were two of them — a girl with a pink hair and a boy with a flannel. Curiosity appeared on their faces upon seeing your presence, though they knew you’re not from the southside after seeing the ‘RH’ on your jacket — you weren’t a Bulldog, but you had a jacket that had the Riverdale High patch.

“Was taking a walk and saw him contemplating his life. He’s gonna stay here for tonight.” Sweet Pea informed them casually, going over to the kitchen to get for something to drink.

Their eyes widened as they looked at you, before scrumbling to get up. “You, uh... you okay?” The boy wearing a flannel asked.

You nods, “Yeah, uhm, I’m not really right now. But I think I will be.” You smiled in reassurance.

“Wait, hold on.” The pink haired girl said as she caught the sight of your red cheek. “What happened to your face?” She asked, pointing at it. You winced when her finger touched and she quickly pulled it away.

Sweet Pea came back with a beer and a first aid kit, sitting down on the couch. He noticed the redness of your cheek way back then and knew something probably happened that you didn’t tell him.

“C’mon, Sweets will treat it.” Fangs said, grabbing your wrist in the process and you hissed in pain as his hand gripped where you self-harmed earlier. He let go instantly and looked at you with wide, confused eyes.

You cleared your throat, gently holding your wrist with the other hand. “I’m fine, I’m fine.” You tried brushing it away, but Sweet Pea didn’t let it slip.

He walked towards you and gently grabbed your hand as he looked at you silently asking for permission. You don’t want him to see your scars, but for some reason, you didn’t pry away his hands or shoved him away. You just looked down at the floor, unable to keep your eye contact with him. He took that as a permission to roll up your sleeve and once he did, a gasp came out form Fangs and Toni while Sweet Pea froze in shock seeing the many scars littered on your wrist.

“(Y/n), what the fuck?” He muttered in devastation.

He can’t imagine what you’ve gone through that you got to the point to harming yourself. The scars were new, but there were some that seemed old that made him realize you’ve been suffering for long until now. The fact that no one didn’t even try to help you or notice the state you were in broke his heart. However, he knew you were more broken than he could ever be, so he didn’t dare ask why you did it.

He just pulled you towards the couch as Fangs and Toni guided you by placing one of their hands on your back. You sat on the couch, letting Sweet Pea start with his mission to treat your swollen cheek and the many lines of scars on your wrist.

They don’t know you, nor the life you had in the northside, but they didn’t have to hear your entire life story to know it was an awful one. If it wasn’t awful, you wouldn’t have any self-harm scars or wouldn’t even try to jump from a bridge.

“You don’t really have to do this, Sweet Pea.” You said after a while of silence.

“He has to.” Toni spoke for him as he dabbed the cotton pads on the alcohol.

“Yeah, you might get infection if your wrist isn’t bondaged.” Fangs chimed in.

You shrugged, “I don’t really think so. If I showed up to school with a bondage around my wrist, my friends will think something bad happened.”

Sweet Pea gave you a look, “Might I remind you that something bad was about to happen earlier if I didn’t stop you.” He deadpanned, making you wince. “If you think you don’t deserve being helped, then just think I’m doing this for me.”

“No, seriously — why are you helping a northsider? I thought you guys hated us?” You asked, looking up at Sweet Pea then at Toni and Fangs. Though, a hiss of pain immediately escaped your lips after Sweet Pea proceeded to clean your scars with the cutton pads drenched in alcohol.

Their expression softened. “Well, you obviously need help and we aren’t that heartless to not help anyone who’s in need of.” Toni replied softly.

Your heart warmed up at her words. At least they care about you despite only knowing you few seconds ago. It was still new to you though; you were never cared for, your mother always did drugs, you had your friends but they didn’t care about you as much as you wanted them to, Jughead has forgotten about you ever since he started to hang out with Betty. So everything that’s happening right now was pretty much a new experience. Why Sweet Pea cares was a complete mystery to you. You’re close to strangers after all — you don’t know a single thing about him and he don’t know a single thing about you.

Sweet Pea glanced at you from the scars on your wrist, seeing you deep in thought. He returned his gaze to your wrist as he ask, “What you got in your mind?”

Your eyes glanced at him for a split second. “Just wondering how can you care for me this much. I mean, we’re strangers and there’s nothing much about me that is worth caring for.”

He snapped his gaze to you. It was barely above a whisper, but he heard it clearly. “Why do you even think you’re not worth caring for?” He asked, stopping his movement and meeting your eyes, searching for an answer.

You looked away from him, free hand going down to fiddle with the hem of your shirt. “That’s what my mom think about me.” You muttered.

The three serpents felt their heart shatter. How a parent could be so cruel to teach their child they’re not worth caring for? They could see the way how her words affected you; you think everyone thinks of you that way just because your mother does. And they were certain that your mother taught you so many wrong things, digged so many false and cruel words in your mind that her words are the only things you can believe.

Sweet Pea gripped your hand while Toni and Fangs scooted closer to you, their faces contorted in anger at your mother for being so cruel to you.

“(Y/n), don’t ever believe what your mother says about you. Whatever she says, you’re worth caring for. Everyone is.” Sweet Pea said firmly, gripping your hands and making you look at him. “It doesn’t matter what she says. You shouldn’t believe everything she tells you just because she’s your mother. You understand me? You’re worth caring for.”

You stared into his eyes and nodded, “Maybe... Maybe if I didn’t have a mother like her, I would’ve been happy. Or if I still had my father.”

Curiosity shines in Fangs’s eyes as he tilted his head slightly to look at you. “Do you remember your father’s name? Don’t you wanna know if he’s still alive?” He pushed over.

“Fangs.” Sweet Pea warned, eyes glaring at him.

“What? He could take him back, so his shitty mom couldn’t touch him ever again.” Fangs proves his point and the raven haired boy sighed at his friend, proceeding to treat your scars.

“I still remember his name and face, but I doubt he’ll take me back in.” You shrugged, pursing your lips into a thin line. And then, a realization hit you that you’re in the southside and that the people around you are members of the southside serpents your father was in.

“Well, what’s his name?” Toni asked.

“(F/n) (L/n).”

“What?”

“My father is (F/n) (L/n).” You repeated, looking up at them now.

Sweet Pea abruptly stopped his movement and looked at you with wide eyes as so did Toni and Fangs.

“(Y/n)...” Sweet Pea calls your name after a few moments of silence.

“Yeah?”

“Your dad is our Serpent King.”

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bireggiemantle · 3 years

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okay. my jarchie fic rec list.

this is fairly long, and I do plan on updating it as I find more fics I like. I hope yall like this list and maybe find some new favorite fics for yourselves :)

i think i wanna stay in the car by clean

my thoughts: I'm a fan of this author's riverdale fics in general, and I have multiple of them bookmarked, but this one really stood out to me. it follows jughead's struggle to understand his sexuality during college, and it uses a piece he's writing as a storytelling device to mark his progress with figuring himself out. it's so well written and the introspection is beautifully handled. betty also doesn't feel like a throw-away or villianized character, which is an issue I've seen in other jarchie fics, and I like how she's still a thought out character with a place in the story.

no one in the world by dancinghopper

my thoughts: this is such a cute fluffy fic, and I really enjoyed the way this played out. it takes place when jughead and archie take their gay little "archie has to flee the country" roadtrip, except in this version of the story jughead accompanies archie in canada. I love all the new characters the author introduced, and all of the interactions here feel very sweet and friendly in a realistic yet wholesome way. overall it's just a super cute read, and I totally recommend it.

tasting future time on the tip of your tongue by jehoney

my thoughts: i really like the author's writing style, and the bittersweet ambiguity of the ending works really well for the concept. jughead's pov suits the fic well too, and I think the author has a strong understanding of his perspective on the world, and I really enjoyed seeing them discuss the train station through jughead's eyes. this fic does have a hint of angst to it, but its not extremely sad, and I think its a very interesting and borderline poetic read.

pictures of you by winnix

my thoughts: this is another short but sweet fic, and it follows jughead as he photographs a football game to help betty out with the blue and gold. it's a cute fic, and I really enjoyed betty and jughead's friendship here. it's very playful and realistic, and the side characters in this fic feel well fleshed out too, even in their small cameos. this fic is fluffy in a borderline cliche way, but I think that adds to its charm, and I'd recommend it for anyone who wants an easy to read, soft fic.

no grave can hold my body by waterandsilver

my thoughts: I really love the concept of this fic. it follows jughead and archie's relationship through injuries they've experienced over the years, and it manages to do so in a way that doesn't feel overly sad or angsty. it's sweet to see the way both characters comfort and care about one another, and the way that care evolves as they grow up. just like in canon, they do become distant during part of the fic, but that does end up getting resolved in a way that suits both the characters and the fic itself. this fic does include depictions of underage drinking and abuse, so if those are triggers for you I wouldn't read it. otherwise, I totally recommend it.

#jarchie #jughead jones #archie andrews #fic recs #long post #riverdale #putting my taste on blast to be mad fun of <3

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thetaoofbetty · 3 years

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spiral anon, i debated doing this mostly because i'm tired but then i decided that the importance or receipts never goes away (warning- it's really long):

I keep getting worried that if this j*bitha Italian restaurant date thing doesn't happen before the musical, it's going to happen then when ras said they have a good storyline and they will sing some kind of romantic song.— and i understand but that's not what ras said as far as i know. the only things i remember him saying is this:

do i think that people heard him say cole is swoon worthy when he sings and took hearing him and tabitha having a storyline together and decided that it's romantic? definitely.

actually, i think he says the "swoon worthy" part twice. here's another interview where he says it:

so, is it more about the musical or the ships? with ras, who the hell knows?

but roberto didn't say outright that it was a romantic storyline that was happening. he also said this about bughead:

so now, because ras is so good at double speak and saying something that can be taken any way you want with whatever bias you have, you have to decide, did he say j/t was definitely happening or is he teasing things to keep people watching? he also said he was rooting for bughead and that nothing was off the table (in regards to reggie and veronica) but also how it's clear how much archie and veronica want to be together while also saying that b/archie's relationship would "deepen" and have another facet to it.

so, take all of that as you will.

also, i guess even if you assume they get romantic based on all of the above, it doesn't go as planned if you take drew's words into consideration:

They keep referring to a dancing girl with JH and I keep thinking it's them finishing their dance.— it was evan, i think, with the dancing emoji and honestly, evan's emojis run the gamut between very literal to very wtf? because often, they only make sense after the fact. but here, let's make it an interpretation that no one would get until they had this episode title:

or, you can take it literally and assume they're dancing at some point. which they already did and already referred to in 5x11 (i think, these eps are all starting to blur together) so who knows?

again, evan is sort of weird in his hints and a lot of them make much more sense after the fact.

I am trying very hard not to have bughead anxiety, but if BH is not the ones that get to sing Hey#3 Perfect for You I'm going to be pissed. We know that song is Betty's because of the reference to her mom and her posting a blue dress on Twitter. BH already said hey#1 and hey#2 to each other, Jughead called himself Henry which is the character in the musical, and I swear Evan referenced Hey when he talked about BH on the dipp podcast saying it would be important to BH.—i can't speak on the dipp podcast since i didn't listen to it but i agree that the blue dress is the biggest 👀 for that song to me. it's pretty specific to the musical and what song that is. do i think they're dropping hints? seems like but we'll see.

lili's tweet for those who forgot:

No way they are going to turn that into a B*rchie song because Archie feels like he's going crazy now too. That would make zero sense, right? I swear I'm not concern trolling, I'm having a BH spiral and need someone to talk me off the edge of the cliff.—listen, i am biased so yes, i am going to tell you that i don't think it fits for b/a and never has. because it's literally never shown on screen that archie cares about betty's wellbeing unless the plot forces him to because jughead isn't available. but also that we have a long history of jughead actually being there for her onscreen.

riverdale is predictable in a lot of ways, one being the way they stick archie into betty's storyline (or vice versa) when jughead and veronica aren't around and it goes like this: "we're friends, i'll be there for you, i'll help you, let's do this task. drama created for later ship angst, conclusion, let's not talk for another 6-10 episodes."

as for talking you off the edge, we don't know what's going to happen yet but i do know there's a lot of misinformation about what gets said, even about what happens onscreen. people go to anti-blogs and spend time reading b/a theories and then we end up with people talking about betty being pregnant like she wouldn't already know, glen wouldn't be an option, and veronica gets totally ignored in the narrative even though the whole premise for archie in 5x08 was about how he still had feelings for veronica.

(also i do believe evan did say the blood emoji for them was about them getting blood on their hands for the other and chad is coming back so, you know, here's hoping it's his because that guy sucks)

and i know that there's been no bughead promo for this season, so i get it. it sucks. but i also think that's because bughead is the story (also, they didn't really seem to promo varchie in early 5a and they're not doing much with it now) so maybe it's me but i feel like the pattern is obvious in that. we wouldn't even know that bughead speaks in 5x16 without ras telling us based on the synopsis:

and we know from the 5x17 one that they're working together and that probably leads into the musical because we've long known that they're going to be looking for polly together. i don't know what's going to happen and we can speculate all day but i will say i personally think bughead will be back.

#besos!#anonymous #just assume all ships are mentioned pls and react accordingly #riverdale speculation #rd spoilers #i guess #evan #ras #for your tags #it's early #pls forgive me if i forgot anything #or mixed something up

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snarkwrites · 3 years

Text

13 | gangsta ; sweetpea

NOTES:

It's been a while. I've had these two chapters written for a while now but I haven't had time to sit down, edit them a little better and post them. Since I have time now, I thought I'd go ahead and do that, whether you guys asked for these next two chapters or not.

Sorry this took forever! Sorry I'm so slow, I've been settling into a new house and taking care of some IRL stuff / taking a little break. I swear, I'm going to update everything sooner or later. >.>

I love you guys.

WARNINGS:

NON/ LOOSE CANON COMPLIANCE - this is the biggest warning, so if you’re into things that follow exact canon plot you are… definitely not going to like this. ANGST & SLOW BURN, HEAVY SEXUAL TENSIONSTARTING NOW, ACTUALLY - this is just so everyone who started reading this thinking the smut would transpire in a hurry knows that apparently, it is not. VIOLENCE / SWEARING & FIGHTING, POSSIBLE UNDERAGE DRINKING AND OTHER SHENANIGANS- look.. it’s high school. shit happens. also apparently, my ofc Alyssa uses the word fuck like all the time?…EVENTUAL SEXUAL CONTENT / A VIRGIN ORIGINAL CHARACTER- this one is self explanatory. yes, i plan to write a smutty chapter in this at some point. when? i don’t rightly know. it’s got a while before we get there. STALKER TW - this chapter marks the true appearance of Alyssa's ex, Dave Novak. It's hinted heavily that he's a gross asshole who likes to play mind games. ATTEMPTED KIDNAPPING TW - This chapter contains an attempted kidnapping. If this is gonna bother you you're best off not reading it.

If you're under 18+, probably not a good or wise idea to continue reading this series. Because there are going to be a few dark and adult themes within. I'll warn here, of course, but you need to understand that I don't control you. If you continue to read after having read the warnings and you're upset or don't like something... Totally on you, friend.

PAIRING:

Andrews!Sibling OFC x Sweet Pea.

TAGGING:

@brithedemonspawn is the only person on my Riverdale tag list. If you want to be added, the link to do so is below.

OTHER PARTS:

ONE - TWO - THREE - FOUR - FIVE - SIX - SEVEN - EIGHT - NINE - TEN- ELEVEN - TWELVE - soundtrack

OTHER STUFF:

[ about my writing - tag list doc ]

THIRTEEN.

[773 - 589 - 7956] Quiet sleepy little town you’ve got here. I can see the appeal, scarlet.

[773 - 589 - 7956] I saw you last night. If I didn’t know what a treacherous bitch you were, I’d say you look more beautiful than ever.

[773 - 589 - 7956] Have you shown that new boytoy of yours all the dirty little photos you were sending me? I bet he’d fucking love to see that… Or did you actually let him see the real thing?

[773 - 589 - 7956] You can say what you want to the cops, scarlet. You and I both know you enjoyed sending me those dirty little pictures. Do your parents know what a teasing whore their daughter really is? I know mommy wasn’t too thrilled when you went running to her to snitch just because things got a little too real for you…

[773 - 589 - 7956] I’ll see you soon. It’s like I said, scarlet. You owe me. I intend to collect. You think this is a game? You can just promise things and then betray me like that? That’s not how this works, scarlet.

The second my phone was powered on again after school, it immediately started to go insane. The texts came in a flood. They were so disgusting and scary that I dropped my phone because my hands were shaking so hard I couldn’t hold it. I quickly picked up the phone and took a few deep breaths, attempting to pull myself together.

,, I can’t keep this to myself. I have to tell someone what’s going on.” the thought nagged at me for the thousandth time in two weeks and I decided that as soon as I finished my tutoring session for the day, I was going to go to the construction site and show my father the texts. Tell him that somehow, Dave was out of prison and apparently, he was here in Riverdale.

My stomach was churning and a bitter taste filled my mouth at the thought. I felt like a dead girl walking. How could I have been so fucking stupid? I should’ve told my father the first time Dave texted me. I should’ve done something.

I felt anger at the situation too. I came here to get away from everything, to put it behind me. I just wanted to forget any of it happened. How dare he show up and ruin everything? He was supposed to be in jail right now, not walking free!

It wasn’t fair.

I knew I’d never be brave enough, but I found myself thinking that if I did see him again, I wanted to strangle him. To give him a reason to be afraid of me for once instead of the other way around. To get even for the hell he put me through in Chicago.

I stepped out into the parking lot, taking a few deep breaths to calm down. Leaning against the brick wall beside the doors that lead into the building. Waiting. Trying to pull myself together. Half hoping that my brother was still here, still in wrestling practice.

Then I remembered that he didn’t have it tonight and that he’d left earlier with Veronica, Betty and Jughead.

Cheryl and Toni were already gone too. I’d stayed over because I was tutoring some kids in the grade below me. I didn’t think it’d take as long as it did. When I realized just how late it had gotten and that I’d be walking home alone in the dark, I’d panicked.

I could always call my dad.

That’s what I wound up doing. About halfway across the parking lot and just as my father’s phone went to voicemail , Dave stepped out and grabbed me, clamping his hand over my mouth before I could do anything other than scream.

My phone fell out of my hands and hit the pavement . I fought him off, managed to get out of his grasp and took off at a run. He caught up to me and grabbed me, trying to drag me towards his Chevelle that was parked nearby, idling. I fought tooth and nail, making as much noise as I could. Grabbing hold of anything I could to try and wrench myself free from his grasp.

I spotted Sweet Pea walking towards the school and I screamed louder. Fought harder.

“Sweet Pea!” I screamed his name, biting at any exposed skin I could get my mouth on Dave’s body. Clawing and scratching. Determined not to go quietly or without a fight. Sweet Pea disappeared from sight for a few seconds in the scuffle between Dave and I, and I was fighting so hard that Dave was struggling to keep a good firm grip on me…

XXX

He’d come back to school because normally, Alyssa was done and at Pop’s within thirty minutes, an hour tops. It had almost been two. Something felt off. Sweet Pea tried to tell himself the entire walk across town to Riverdale High that he was just being paranoid or overprotective. By the time the school was in view, he almost had himself convinced that he was just being a paranoid idiot.

Until he heard her screaming.

Sweet Pea took off at a run in the direction her scream came from, watching as a guy grabbed Alyssa and started trying to pull her towards an idling Chevelle nearby. He locked eyes with Alyssa before slipping out of sight. Getting himself into a position where he could slip up on the guy from behind and hopefully, distract him enough that Alyssa could get away.

The second she managed to smash her head into the guy’s nose hard enough that he dropped her, Sweet Pea spoke up. Firmly. “Run, Cherry. Don’t stop running.”

“No.” I stubbornly refused to leave. I wasn’t going to leave him to fight Dave off on his own. Not when this was my mess to begin with, my own stupidity coming back to bite me in my ass.

“Damn it, woman. Fucking go!” Sweet Pea practically growled as he lunged for the guy in front of him, spearing him against the side of his own car. The fight took to the ground, the two rolling around. For a second or two, Dave had the upper hand because he managed to get his hand on Sweet Pea’s throat. Sweet Pea used his legs, flipping them so that he was on top, swinging his fists with no real thought other than the sheer rage he felt about the guy trying to grab Alyssa. Dave managed to get the upper hand again, holding Sweet Pea against the concrete, Sweet Pea’s hand wrapped around his throat as he tried to squeeze harder.

Sweet Pea swore in frustration when he saw Alyssa slipping over to the open rear door. She emerged with a baseball bat, making her way over to the fight.

“What the fuck do you think you were gonna do, man?” Sweet Pea snarled in anger as he got in a few hard and fast punches.

“I was gonna get my hands on that little bitch you call a girlfriend and teach her a lesson.” Dave grunted out the words as Sweet Pea’s hand closed around his throat tighter and he managed to get Dave on his back again.

“The only one who’s going to learn a lesson tonight is you, asshole. Don’t fucking touch her.” Sweet Pea got the upper hand again, holding Dave against the concrete, smashing his head against Dave’s head as he sneered, “I’m gonna fuckin kill you, putting your hands on my girl.” and really tightened his grip.

Dave managed to shove him off and stood, the two of them fighting. Alyssa swung the bat at Dave’s lower back, almost connecting with it but Dave stepped out of the way at the last minute, making a grab for her.

“Cherry, I told you to run, damn it!” Sweet Pea growled as he lunged at Dave, sending Alyssa stumbling back, barely managing to keep herself from falling on her butt on the pavement. The two were rolling around on the ground again, punching and choking wildly and Alyssa spotted her cell phone and she dove for it, dialing 911.

Just as she was about to hit call, Sweet Pea choked Dave out and grabbed for the rope that had fallen out of Dave’s jacket pocket, tying his arms together while he was down. Then he rushed over to her, checking her over in concern, wincing at the pavement burn on her cheeks and the few scrapes.

“What the fuck happened to run, huh?” Sweet Pea asked, trying to catch his breath.

“I wasn’t leaving you here with him.” Alyssa panted. Sweet Pea took her cell phone and hit call, keeping his foot on Dave’s head to keep him down as he made the call.

Two minutes later, a cop car came racing around the corner and pulled to a stop behind the idling Chevelle.

The cop got out and wandered over. Glancing from Sweet Pea to Dave.

Alyssa spoke up.

“Sweet Pea was trying to save me, officer.”

“I’m going to need you two to come to the station and make statements.” the cop informed them after getting Dave into the back of the cop car. Alyssa nodded, hugging herself against Sweet Pea’s side. Sweet Pea slipped out of his leather jacket,draping it around her, because at some point during her fight with Dave, her shirt had gotten torn down the front.

The cop left, leaving the two of them alone.

Sweet Pea took a few deep breaths, pulling her against him. Squeezing her tight. Holding her in place. “Thank God I decided to come by here. If something would’ve happened…” he muttered against her hair quietly.

She pulled away to look up at him and he locked eyes with her, leaning in closer…

XXX

My heart was still hammering away at my chest. The adrenaline was starting to wear off and I was starting to panic a little as I began to realize what almost happened to me. How close I came to disappearing, having God knows what would be done to me by Dave.

I wasn’t thinking about how awkward me kissing him would be. I wasn’t thinking about anything if you want the truth. I rose up on my toes, grabbing hold of the front of Sweet Pea’s t-shirt, pulling myself up. My mouth brushed against the corner of his gingerly, trying to avoid the portion of his lower lip that was busted and bloody because it had to hurt like hell. His hands dug into my hips and he growled quietly, his mouth latching onto mine just as I went to pull away, stop myself before I went for it and kissed him in the heat of the moment.

The kiss deepened and I raised my arms, wrapping them around his neck. Dragging my fingers through his hair. My back met the side of the Chevelle with a soft smack and he pressed himself into me more firmly. His mouth continuing to hungrily devour mine.

The kiss broke a few seconds later, we pulled apart breathlessly and stared at one another in a daze. Sweet Pea wiped the back of his hand over his mouth and cleared his throat. Going quiet again.

All I could do was melt into him and try to wrap my head around what almost happened and what had just actually happened. He curled his fingers under my chin, tilting my face so that I had to look up at him.

“Who was that? Wait.. was that your ex?”

My jaw dropped. I blinked at him and then I nodded quietly. He swore under his breath and held on a little tighter. Pulling away again, his hands on my upper arms as he stared down at me. “I should’ve fucking killed him.”

“H-how’d you know about Dave? Did my brother tell you?”

“And Jughead. I don’t know everything. I just know that I told myself if I ever actually saw the asshole, I was going to kill him.” Sweet Pea answered quietly. Taking a few deep breaths and then adding a few seconds later, “We need to get to the station.”

I nodded in agreement. Sweet Pea scooped me up when he saw me take a step and wince, then try it again with the same outcome.

“I can walk.” I protested weakly.

“You fell. You probably twisted your ankle. Just… let me carry you, Cherry.” he muttered quietly, his voice a soft and concerned whisper as he gazed down at me.

All I could do was nod. Lean my head against the space between his neck and shoulder.

As we worked our way towards the police station, it poured out of me. Every single thing I’d gone through with Dave in Chicago. I grimaced as I told Sweet Pea exactly what had gone down and why I thought Dave had come to town and tried to grab me tonight and Sweet Pea’s jaw set firm.

I could tell that hearing it bothered him. And at one point, he muttered quietly, “If you don’t want to talk about it you don’t have to…”

“No, I need to get it out. I shouldn’t have kept the fact that the asshole was texting me to myself. Blocking his number obviously didn’t work because he reached out with a new one. I thought if I just ignored him, he’d lose interest. I thought it was just him, trying to scare me. I didn’t think he’d be stupid or brave enough to show up here.” I muttered, shaking my head at how stupid that sounded now that I was really stopping to think about it.

“He’s not gonna bother you again, okay? I’m going to make sure he doesn’t.” Sweet Pea muttered after a few seconds, just as we stepped into the station and made our way over to a sitting area to wait.

“You need to call your dad.” Sweet Pea spoke up after a few seconds that felt like hours.

I nodded. Taking my phone back from Sweet Pea, I dialed my dad’s number and I could hear the relief in his voice when he answered.

Static crackled and popped on his end of the line so I strained to hear.

“I’ve been riding around town looking for you for over an hour, tiny. What the hell happened?” my dad asked in a rush.

“Dave was waiting outside of the school tonight when I came out… If Sweet Pea hadn’t gotten there when he did I… he tried to grab me tonight, Dad.” I grimaced as I said it, bracing myself for all the questions and the lecture I knew I’d be getting because I hadn’t told anyone the second all this started.

,, to be fair, I definitely deserve it.” the thought came and I let myself have it. Leaning back in the chair, resting against Sweet Pea’s side slightly. Taking a few deep breaths.

My dad swore and I heard him punching at something, probably the dashboard of his truck. After a second or two, he spoke up. “Where are you two? I’m on my way, tiny. Right now.”

“We’re at the station giving a statement.” I explained.

“Thank god. So Novak got arrested? That’s good. I’m going to be sure to find out what I can do to make sure that little prick stays in a cell this time.” my dad responded as I heard him rev the engine on his truck.

The call ended and I leaned my head against Sweet Pea’s shoulder. He slipped an arm around me and took a few more breaths as if he were trying to calm himself down again because he was still angry and tense.

The cop who made the arrest found us and ushered us back to his workspace and we sat down. Telling the cop every single detail of what happened tonight. The cop let me finish and then spoke up.

“We’re holding him for Chicago. He apparently escaped. Attacked another girl… A Claire Watson… Then he came here. But everything you’ve told me will help keep him behind bars, Alyssa. Do you have a parent you can call?”

I nodded.

“She already called him.” Sweet Pea answered calmly as he folded his arms over his chest and glared at the cop suspiciously.

The cop eyed him, nodding. Managing a cordial smile. “That was quick thinking on your part tonight kid. Also stupid as hell. If he’d had a weapon, that could’ve gone wrong. Next time, call the station.”

“And do what? Let an asshole make off with my girl? Yeah, no thanks. I’m good. I’ve seen how fast you assholes respond to any call you get from the South side.”

“Not all of us are bad, kid.” the cop pointed out in a calm and even tone.

“Yeah, well… I wasn’t going to stand there and let him take my girl either. I did what I had to do.” Sweet Pea took a deep breath, rubbing his forehead. Calming himself back down.

I spotted my father and Archie coming into the station, heading right for us and I let out a ragged breath. Squeezing my dad so tight he almost couldn’t breathe when they got over to where we were sitting in the back.

My father spoke up, addressing the cop. “We will be pressing charges. So, whatever I need in order to do that, just tell me and you’ve got it.”

Sweet Pea cleared his throat.

“If it helps, here’s her phone.” Sweet Pea held my phone out to the policeman and he took it, nodding. “If there’s anything on here, that’ll help. If you’ll come with me, Mr. Andrews, we’ll get that paperwork drawn up to start the proceedings.”

My dad gave me another hug and stopped in front of Sweet Pea. “If you hadn’t been there tonight, kid… Thank you.”

“I wasn’t gonna let anything happen to her, sir.” Sweet Pea muttered, awkwardly letting my dad hug him too.

My dad made his way to an office with the policeman who’d taken our statements and I glanced up at Sweet Pea, grimacing at the bruises and scraped starting to form on his face and neck. The black eye and the busted lip.

“Archie, can you go get some ice or a soda can? His lips really swelling up..” I muttered. My brother nodded, taking some change from me to go do it. And this left Sweet Pea and I alone again.

“About that kiss.. I’m sorry, I.. the last thing I wanted to do was make anything awkward. I just got caught up in the moment and I can’t keep fighting the way I feel and I… Sorry.” I spoke up quietly. Prepared to give him an out. Afraid that I’d gone way over the line.

“Yeah, about that… I’ve been wanting to do it for a while.” Sweet Pea admitted quietly. Making me look up at him as he chuckled quietly. “You wanna repeat any of what you just said?”

I felt my cheeks burning. I pouted up at him and gave him a dirty look.

He smirked in response and spoke up. “I’m being serious. You were doing that mumble and babbling thing again.”

“You heard me.” I answered, biting my lip as I looked up at him.

“A little, yeah… But maybe I wanna hear it again, cherry.” he pulled me close and gazed down at me for a few seconds.

“Wait.. you wanted to kiss me?” I realized what he’d admitted. Gazing up at him, a little shocked.

“You’re trying to change the subject now?” he questioned, slipping his arms around me. I gave a soft laugh and muttered quietly, “Maybe a little.”

“When you say you can’t ignore the way you feel.. What’s that mean?” he questioned again, making me look up at him. I took a deep breath and toyed with the front of his shirt, trying to figure out the best way to put it to words.

The truth. Simple and direct.

“I care about you a lot. I lo--” I started to say that I loved him, but Archie cleared his throat behind us, holding out the soda can to me. Then promptly excusing himself again to go find our dad. I gently guided Sweet Pea down into a chair and sank down to sit on his knees. Gingerly pressing the cold soda can against his lip. And after a second or two, I finally got myself to say it again. “I love you, okay?”

He chuckled quietly. Locking eyes with me. Lowering the soda can to ask quietly, “Like a best friend or something.. Right?”

I shook my head. “More than, actually. Since that day at the car wash when I drenched you with the hose, I’ve… It’s been hard to make myself not look for you in a crowd. Yes, yes.. I know this is mushy and you don’t do mushy, I..” his mouth crashing against mine cut off the flow of my words and he muttered in a daze, “Say it again. Tell me you love me, Cherry.”

“I love you.” I managed to get the words out breathlessly. His mouth was latching onto mine all over again. The kiss deepening. His arms enveloping me tighter. Squeezing til I thought I’d get lightheaded between the deep and heavy onslaught of kisses and the way he was holding me.

“I love you too.” he mumbled quietly. Gazing down at me. Panting for his next breath as the kiss broke yet again.

“Okay, are you two done with whatever yet? Because dad told me to get Al back home. You can come with us if you want.” Archie surprised me by inviting Sweet Pea. Sweet Pea eyed him and nodded, standing after I’d finally managed to pry myself away from him.

As we walked out of the station, he slipped his hand down between us, lacing his fingers between mine. Giving my hand a squeeze as he glanced down at me.

#sweetpea fanfiction #sweetpea imagine #sweetpea fanfic #sweetpea imagines #sweetpea fic #my writing; sweetpea #my fanfiction; sweetpea #my fics; sweetpea #// stalker tw #// attempted kidnapping tw #// violence tw

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