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taylors-fourth-cat-meow · 3 years

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I know that some people are taking calling out SJM's portrayal of Tamlin as excusing his abuse, but I don't believe that's any of our intentions. Rather than that, I feel as if we are just pointing out how sometimes the narrative twists some of his rather harmless actions and makes them out to be the worst of all. For example, when Feyre kept mentioning how she felt degraded by him for not being assigned a title that didn't even exist (and that she had no credentials for) - this was pushed so hard that almost every post when acomaf came out talked about it instead of how Tamlin physically hurt her. I remember so many Feysand stans claiming that they mostly disliked him for that reason, which in handsight makes sense because if they criticized him for being too controlling at times, they'd be forced to call out Rhysand's whole character.

Hi anon!!

I absolutely agree.

Tamlin's actions and abuse is always explained never justified unlike rhysie's.

They can't call Tamlin out on his actual abusive qualities without acknowledging rhysie's actions as abuse because they are one and the same thing. Hence they pull at the most trivial things just to villainize Tamlin while also saying rhysie is the best god damn feminist in this world.

It's actually so confusing

Rhysie is a feminist because he let feyre train (by putting her in danger again and again) and gave her the title of high lady (which doesn't even make sense because feyre is not considered rhysies equal in anyway, acosf was just further proof).

Tamlin is a misogynist because feyre assumed he wanted her to wear dresses and that wearing pants wud make a statement (for the last time bitch what statement?!?!?!) because wearing dresses is a sign of weak females who don't have any freedom or autonomy, explained to feyre why she won't be called a high lady when she said she didn't want to be called that, thought a ruthless, powerful, tyrant who sent heads in his front yard as a joke, kidnapped his fiancee, who funnily enough he SA for three months and did everything in his power to get her back.

In my opinion Tamlin's only mistakes which are all retcons btw (excluding some things because they totally go against things actually written in the previous books) were:

Continuing to keep company with Ianthee

Not letting feyre train and making decisions for her powers and body for his peace of mind (which sound familiar?? To a certain purple eyed bat's actions in a certain 700 page book??)

Locking feyre in the manor (also sound familiar to what a supposedly noble high lord and lady did to her own sister??)

Slut shaming her at the High Lords metting (which sound familiar to a certain infamous "intervention")

Tamlin not 'saving her from her darkness that was consuming her' doesn't count because Tamlin himself was mentally unstable and suffering from PTSD. if you have a broken leg you can't support another person with a broken leg srry.

Calamnai scene from book 1?? No one except sjm is to blame for that nonsense.. but if you put it irl, tamlin is drunk out of his mind with no sense of reality and feyre, knowing this, completely sober, willing goes near him and doesn't stop him when he tries to kiss her even when he made it perfectly clear that he doesn't want anything to happen between them?? But Put all that in the acotar world it's no one's fault accept sjm.

His magical outburst, I have explained this before and @/worldsnotsaid also wrote a gr8 explanation about it but that ... Wasn't exactly abuse... He doesn't do it with the intention of hurting feyre and gain control or power over her. His power isn't even directed at her. He almost hurts her and he is responsible for it but that can't be labelled abuse. I get how this can be a little questionable for some ppl but no I don't think tamlin physically abused feyre. Try to reverse the scenario, tamlin locks feyre into the manor, it brings up her trauma and she looses control of her magic and hurts all the ppl in that manor. Is it still abuse?? Tamlin abused her 100% and he also abused his sentries but the study scene isn't that.

I feel pity for the ppl who try to point out abusive qualities in Tamlin in book 1 thinking their fav author is so smart and put subtle signs only ture fans can understand. And not accept the fact that SJM got bored with tamlin and suddenly realised she gets hard for rhysie

In comparison to all that rhysie has:

SA feyre for THREE MONTHS

Twisted her bone

Made a bargain for his gain under duress

Licked her without permission

Kissed her without permission

Mind r*pped her

Read her personal thoughts and said it out loud for ppl to hear (which I don't get how it is any different from Tamlins actions in the HL meeting)

Gaslighted her while she was with Tamlin

Actually made her wear clothes she hated

Put her life in jeopardy repeatedly for his gain

Touched her inappropriately in front of ppl again with the pretense of it being a "mask"

Held crucial information about her body from her

Stripped her from the right to consider abortion by not telling the risks of pregnancy

Asked everyone in her family to not tell her either

Put a sheild around her to isolate her even from her family members

Removed the shield around enemies to have them scent her baby rich scent

Paraded her around like a trophy

Climaxed to the picture of his unborn child (not really relevant to what he did to feyre but still disgusting)

You tell me which is worst?

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mx-kay · 2 years

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Eddie Munson x Tiny!Reader One Shot

Trigger Warning: Swearing, mentions of drug use, small traces of unintentional fearplay

Disclaimers: I don’t own Eddie Munson or Stranger Things, that goes to Netflix and the Duffer Brothers. I also don’t know a ton about DnD. While I’m currently doing a bunch of research, I might still mess up. Feel free to correct any mistakes I might make.

Rating: T, SFW

Word Count: 1166

Extra: This is a scrapped rough draft of the meeting scene between Eddie and the reader for my upcoming fanfic (if you would like to be included in the tag list for that story, DM me or leave a comment). I loved this version too much to delete it, but I decided to go a different way with the story and couldn’t use this anymore. Hope you enjoy!

—— 🎸 ——

The loud rustle of the doorway curtains being drawn completely froze you. Goosebumps crawled across your skin and you felt your stomach drop. It felt as if your lungs all but stopped working as footsteps sounded in the direction of your current hideout.

You were no longer alone.

Setting down the die you still clung to, you swung your head from both ends of the cardboard divider. I’m technically blocked from the rest of the table, you assured yourself. You knew for a fact that no one in the Hellfire Club even thought of looking in your current position, lest they face the wrath of their infamous Dungeon Master. Eddie didn’t like people looking at his campaign notes, and you honestly couldn’t blame him. You’d seen him pour hours into coming up with his campaigns, sometimes staying until it was time for the school to be locked up for the night. Even then, he’d often show up the next day to add things he’s done at home. The head of the table was his area, and everyone knew it like an unspoken rule. Whoever had come in was probably just here to pick up something they’d left and leave. The only way you’d be spotted was if-

The dark, messy curls that came into view made you want to sob. Of all the people who could have showed up, of course it was Eddie himself. The only person who would ever check your makeshift hiding spot. There was no running in this situation, no hiding. There was no way out of the fact that he was going to spot you the moment he sat down. You were out of place, a foreign object, his eyes would instantly be drawn to you.

So make it look like you belong. It was a brief thought, but currently your best one. Blend in. The table was covered in little figurines, one similar in height to you and some non-human. You’d blend right in. Seconds before he looked up, you froze with your arms crossed and your tail curled beside your feet.

It felt like the world stopped when your eyes met. From far off his eyes had always appeared black in color, like his pupils were blown out of proportion. Now, so close to you, you could see the real color. A deep, rich brown filled his doe-shaped eyes, framed by long, dark lashes. A spark of mischief shone brightly within them, an emotion he seemed to hold to every time you saw him.

He blinked, tilting his head slightly in confusion, and your world came back to you. There was a human, a giant, sitting barely two feet from you. If anything, it was more like he was hovering over you. He eclipsed your entire view, his shadow like a dark sea laid over you. Whatever emotion you had just been feeling was dragged down by an overpowering sense of fear. The feeling of your skin crawling came back to you with a vengeance as eyes bigger than your head stared down at you. Your world no longer existed. It was simply Eddie Munson.

You tried to keep from shaking. Your legs felt like they’d give out any second and your eyes began to water, but any odd twitch would give you away. If you wanted out of this, you had to play the part. Blend in. Be a figurine.

“Now what is this?” His voice was low, but your close proximity seemed to amplify it. It took everything to not flinch at the sound. He leaned in closer, eyes squinting slightly as he studied you. Don’t blink. Don’t move. Don’t breathe.

A hand the size of a semi breached your view, and instinct took over.

Coherent thoughts ceased to form, the only thing ringing through your head being a never ending mantra of run. Not wasting a single moment, you turned opposite of his hand and ran like hell.

You heard a loud exclamation of “Jesus fucking shit!” before a massive crash shook the table. A small part of you was curious to see what had just transpired behind you, but you were too close to escaping to risk it. You didn’t even check to see if your hook was still secure when you reached it. The string swung wildly as you slid down it, not caring if your hands and feet received burns when you slowed slightly to land.

You caught a glimpse of Eddie through the chair and table legs, unhooking his leg from the arm of his chair while trying to turn himself over. He mumbled out a string of curses as you unhook your climbing rope from the tabletop and continued running. Hope flared though you as you saw the small opening at the foot of the wall.

“Hey, wait!” you heard called from behind. For just a moment, a quick second, you did. Grabbing onto the side of the entrance, you turned.

He was sprawled out across the floor on his stomach, looking frazzled. His eyes were wide, clothes slightly rumpled and hair slightly messier than usual. You realized he must have bit his lip during the fall as blood dripped down his chin. Something in you felt guilty, wanting to apologize.

You instead turned back forward and raced into the wall, not stopping until you reached your home and collapsed into your bed.

—— 🎸 ——

It didn’t matter if he knew he hadn’t taken any drugs today, Eddie Munson swore he was high. There was no other explanation. Either he simply didn’t remember taking it or someone had somehow slipped it to him, he was high.

There was absolutely no way a tiny mouse person actually existed. Mouse-human hybrid? Mouseman? Humouse?

God, he must have really hit his head. The metallic taste of blood filled his mouth from where he’d bit the shit out of his lip. He groaned, pushing himself up from the floor. His right arm protested at the weight, another injury to add to the list. He was lucky to not have landed on his face and bust up his nose.

He’d come in simply to drop off a few things for the next adventure of his campaign. A couple of miniatures and papers that still sat in his bag at the moment. He hadn’t expected to find an odd miniature behind the DM screen, much less that it would start moving while inches away from his face. The sudden movement had spooked him, his leg somehow got hooked to the arm of his throne, and here he was. On the floor.

Shaking his head, Eddie stood and walked from the room. Whatever had happened, it couldn’t have been real. “I’m just tired and probably high,” he muttered to himself, “Not real. Just a hallucination. Not real.”

But something nagged at him. Some part of him, the part that loved fantasy and impossible odds and believed in the unreal, wished to answer one simple question. What if it was real?

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snowbabys · 2 years

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Gardening Club ⋆ part 8

(Disclaimer: i do not condone this behavior, nor think the idol acts like this in any way. this is purely fiction and for entertainment purposes only.)

Series masterlist

Pairing: yan!jungwon x gn!reader, niki x gn!reader (ft. jay? and heeseung)

TW/Trigger warning: mentions of food and eating, toxic behavior, mentions of a dead body.

Warning/notes: everyone's the same age for plot sake, i'm no expert in writing investigations so it's pretty superficial, some angst.

Author's note: so we had a small change of plans. i'm pissed off af, but we're having one more part. let's just accept it and go on with our lives. thanks for reading, and i see you in the real last part~

Word count: 2,797

One week. It took Niki one week to go back to school. Seven days of mourning that were closely watched and endured with you, also allowed to stay at home during the period of initial investigations into Jay’s death. On the first day, right after the discovery of the body, Niki looked desperate, hyperventilating, anxiety all-consuming as he couldn’t take his eyes off of what once was Jay. He didn’t notice the crowd of students forming around the body until Heeseung was yelling and kicking everyone out, some pointing and discussing, others with cell phones recording the scene. Niki looked down at you, took one of your hands, and pulled you inside the gymnasium, minimally relieved not to have the body in sight or all those people suffocating him with their annoying remarks about his dead friend.

You laid against one of the gymnasium’s walls and watched officers coming in and Jay’s body being carried away, completely covered, while Niki’s head rested on your shoulder, eyes trained on the stretcher that transported the body.

“Why would someone do that?” You whispered to him, looking down to find his teary eyes already on you. “Why Jay?” He looked away to the entrance and sighed heavily, tired, and when you looked in the same direction, there was Jungwon, confused by the unusual flow of students, especially with the police’s presence. He walked towards you, and with every step he took, Niki shifted more uncomfortably, the two of you standing up when Jungwon was close enough.

“What do you want?” That was the first thing Niki asked, surprising you with his abruptness.

“Can we talk?” Jungwon’s eyes glazed over you, stone cold, and you couldn’t help the shivers running down your spine with how serious his tone was. Niki stood in front of you, his shoulder blocking your vision of Jungwon, so all you could see was Niki’s muscles tensing. “About them…”

“Stay here, please.” It’s what Niki told you before walking outside beside Jungwon, leaving you for a few minutes until he was back, alone, with completely dry and angry eyes avoiding contact with yours. Mind racing miles, you were scared of what they'd discussed, and immediately grabbed Niki’s arm.

“What did he say?” He didn’t have time to answer. An officer approached you holding a notepad before he could open his mouth.

“Kids, I’m sorry you had to see that. Were you close with the victim?” He studied your expressions, interspersing his gaze between you and your friend.

“A bit…” you answered first, reaching for Niki’s hand to ease your apprehension.

“Anyone on the scene when you got there?” The officer watched your movements, quickly noting your answers.

“No one, sir.”

“Do you know anyone who might have had something against your friend?” You and Niki exchanged glances, you contemplating the idea of mentioning how Jungwon and Jay acted weird around each other, Niki cutting your thoughts with his quick retort.

“No, unfortunately not.”

“Any bullies in the school?” He looked at Niki directly, searching for anything he could be letting pass by.

“Nothing. I’m sorry I can’t help, sir,” Niki’s hand lightly squeezed yours, demonstrating his uneasiness.

“If you notice anything, don’t be afraid to contact the police or the school’s management. We’re going to find out who did this to your friend,” the officer wrote down one more thing and gave you a lipped smile.

“Thank you, sir,” you both say and observe him walk up to another student nearby.

Heeseung, who looked terrible, still crying and his voice hoarse, warned you that the school would close to help the investigators, and you were dismissed and free to go home after talking to one of them. While walking to the school gates, you ran into Jungwon, who was also making his way home. Unlike Niki, who was desolate and red-eyed, staring at the ground constantly, or other students who chattered about the investigation curiously, Jungwon seemed disturbingly calm. He didn’t look like he’d cried at the news, and he didn’t look curious, much less shocked or affected, either. You watched him carefully as he approached you and Niki, arms crossed and looking at your hand entwined with your friend’s.

“Y/n, you’re okay?” His voice was soft, like his eyes, and he touched your shoulder in a consoling way when you looked at him. You nodded, not having much energy to do more, and kept walking, inspecting how Niki maintained his silence and Jungwon looked at the surroundings, now and then puffing out his cheeks or biting his lips, which made you suspicious of his demeanor. What kind of coping mechanism was that?

When in front of Niki’s house, you and Jungwon stopped and glared at each other. Without words, Niki separated from you and went inside, making you sigh with exhaustion.

“I’m assuming you’re spending the day with Niki,” you were perplexed once more, not only with Jungwon’s reactions but also his word choices. It’s not like you guys were on vacation, but he made it sound like you were.

“He’s not well,” you exhaled, annoyed, decided to voice your thoughts for the first time. “Aren’t you sad about this whole thing?”

“Of course I am,” he scoffed, not minding how you squint your eyes at him. “Jay was a dear friend.” He nodded and went inside his house, not saying more. You didn’t give yourself time to be irked or complain, rapidly walking towards Niki’s room, where you knew you’d spend quite some time.

The second and third days were the hardest. You stayed at Niki’s house, offering hugs and your shoulder for him to cry on whenever he needed. It broke your heart to see your best friend hide his face and cry himself to sleep, leaving your shirt wet and mind heavy with the guilt of not being able to relieve his pain. You trembled with every sob, pressing him against you as much as humanly possible in an attempt to comfort him, failing most of the time, but being able to enjoy the sound of his soft snores. Sometimes he had a few hours of sleep and peace, but sometimes he was woken up with nightmares of Jay and his corpse. In both cases, he’d always wake up in your arms and squeeze you while mumbling thanking words on your shoulder.

On the fourth day, Niki started to recall and tell you about his memories with Jay. He particularly loved the story of when Jay found out that Heeseung had a girlfriend. He was the butt of jokes all week after the girl scolded him for leaving a bite mark on Heeseung’s neck, and Jay, being dramatic as always, lashed out at the girl until a laughing Heeseung stopped them to assume his relationship to his friend and the playful situation in which the mark was received to his girl. Niki went over in detail all the cursing and complaints Jay made him listen to for the rest of the day, specifically the part where Jay addressed Heeseung as “liar and disloyal”.

You were able to fully distract Niki on the fifth day with games and talking about situations from when you were younger. He giggled cutely whenever you lost to him, immediately going to intertwine your fingers to play with them and sulking at your terrible gaming skills. His hearty laugh echoed in the room every time you looked at him wide-eyed, scared with the accidental cracking of his bones while making weird shapes.

You’ve lost count of how many times you lied together on the floor, hands clasped as you stared at the ceiling in some existential crisis, just like you’d done when your friendship started to flourish years ago. The most memorable moment was when you snuggled into his chest, feeling cold and sleepy, and he hugged you tighter than ever, making you feel your heart beating impossibly fast. Ruled by your sleepiness, you asked him about the night he ran home with tears in his eyes, frustrated with how the order of events meant he never told you what he was preparing, what was the surprise he told you about. His reply took all your sleepiness away.

“I didn’t have the heart to confess.” Then, before you could say anything, he pulled away enough to look you in the eyes and analyze them for a few seconds, soon adding, “But I think I have it now.”

You remember vividly how your heart thumped against your chest, like fireworks exploding inside you, as he described his love. It all made you so confused with your own feelings, but you also couldn’t contain the urge to wrap your arms around his neck and squeeze him tightly.

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” You asked after hugging him for a long time.

“I was scared…” You’ve never seen Niki so flushed until that day, avoiding eye contact and voice oscillating. “And you like Jungwon. How can I compete with him?”

“It’s not a competition, dummy,” you said as you drew back and pinched his cheek, chuckling at the grimace he gave you in response.

“So you like me more than him?”

“Niki,” you sighed, gathering your thoughts and feelings, and began, keeping his gaze fixed on yours. “We’ve been friends for five years, and, though I never realized it before, I see now how I couldn’t live without you. Yang Jungwon never gave me his blueberry muffin when I cried for dropping mine.” You both giggled at the memory, how you curled up to your knees and cried like a baby looking at the shattered muffin on the floor. A grumpy Niki handed you his muffin, complaining you’d have to pay him, even though he never really charged you for it. “And Jungwon never shared his strawberry milk with me when we didn't have enough money to buy two boxes.”

“That’s your fault; you squandered it all on candies,” Niki said as he lifted one of his hands to your face, his thumb caressing your cheek. “Wait, y/n?” You leaned on his chest, laying your chin on your hands and humming for him to continue. “Does that mean we’re dating?”

“I don’t know,” you whispered, as confused as he was. “Do you wanna be my boyfriend?”

“Yes?” You rolled your eyes and puffed playfully at his questioning tone.

“Are you that sure?”

“Yes, yes. I say yes,” he rolled over until he was on top of you, putting all his weight on your body and tittering at your fake disgusted expression, not wasting more time and moving to peck your lips. “Where’s my ring? I need a diamond ring.”

“Shut up.”

It was the last time you saw him genuinely smiling during that week. The last two days were the transition from Niki’s sadness to worry. It got to you through Heeseung that the investigations were slowed down due to a lack of evidence. You were incredulous, but there wasn’t much you could do. You still wanted to confront Niki about everything he seemed to be keeping from you, question him about Jungwon and their relationship, and try to understand where and how Jay was connecting their actions. Of course, it pained you to think about Jay. From what you saw of him, he was a good friend and a nice person to be around, but you also couldn’t ignore the weird feeling creeping up your chest whenever you thought about all the mess you were in. It wasn’t the right time to question Niki either, as he was giving slow steps and going back to his usual playful and annoying self.

What truly made you intrigued, and you couldn’t wait to look into more, was Yang Jungwon. Everything went south when he entered your life. It was clear as day to you. During that whole week you spent on Niki’s side, you rarely got out, but whenever you did, there was Jungwon, on his doorstep, walking around or just sitting on the sidewalk. He made sure to approach you every single time, pretending he was just distracted, and ended up seeing you randomly. His words, once delicately directed at you, became intrusive day by day, going from “I hope you’re both doing okay” to “What exactly are you doing inside?”. Any time his eyes fell on you, you felt an itch in your hand and dryness in your throat, not entirely certain you were interacting with the same sweet guy who divided his lunch with you a week ago.

You didn’t share your thoughts on Jungwon with Niki, and you didn’t want to do so yet. Something was clearly wrong between them, and you were afraid of what could happen if you pulled any strings without knowing exactly what you were dealing with. It all led you to consider whether or not to ask Niki anything while having lunch on your first day back. You realized how he was anxious with the looks your colleagues were giving you, so you both decided on going to the terrace, which was favorably empty, but you lost yourself in your thoughts, and only saw you forgot to say something when it was almost time to get back and Niki clung to you, hugging you and pouting.

“Nikitty…” You touch the tip of his nose with yours, making him smile, taking the chance to leave a peck on his lips. “We’re gonna be late,” he hums and hides his face in the crook of your neck.

His voice is muffled, but you can make out what he’s trying to ask. “Just a little more?”

“We can cuddle later,” you offer, trying to free yourself from his arms to get your backpack, not too adapted to the idea of disturbing your professor’s class with a late arrival.

“Promise?” He keeps you in place, stretching his pinky out for you to connect with yours.

“Promise.”

Niki keeps your pinkies connected as you walk back to the classroom. He takes advantage of the almost empty hallways and pulls you to hug him sideways, giggling like a fool and making jokes to attack you with kisses when you smile. Next to your classroom, you pretend to be annoyed and gently push him away. He walks to the door and puts his head inside, taking a deep breath, relieved to see no teachers, just your colleagues talking inside. He comes back to you and intertwines your hands, pushing you softly until your back is against the wall.

“You know I love you?” You look up and hum, smirking at his annoyed huff.

“Hm, I’m not sure.”

“Dummy.” Niki checks your surroundings to see a professor coming from afar, so he steals another quick peck and runs inside, leaving you with a lingering feeling on your lips and hands.

The day continues moderately peaceful, with Niki insisting on holding your hands when you’re not busy and sending winks your way when you look at him, pretending he did nothing when a professor looked directly at your desk. That is until the time comes to start your activities at the club. You and Niki talk to the coordinator for a moment to catch up before taking your seats, Jungwon is sitting on the other side of your desk staring at you the entire time. Even when you are outside analyzing the club’s new acquisitions, he continues to lie a few steps away from you, always closer to Niki’s side, as he insisted that you stay as far away from Jungwon as possible. You started to get fed up with both of them, mad at Jungwon for his strange behavior and annoyed at Niki for never giving you any answers.

Jungwon only approaches you when you’re walking out of school, meeting you at the gates and interrupting your walk with an intense gaze on your hand intertwined with Niki’s.

“You’re dating?” Jungwon frowns and looks disappointed at Niki. “Did you forget what I told you?”

“What he’s talking about?” You use your free hand to touch Niki’s arm, confused by the sudden question. Examining his face, you only find discomfort and anger, while Jungwon seems happy with the situation he just put Niki into.

“Stay out of this, little one,” he whispers while pushing you behind him, irritated at Jungwon’s growing smile.

You feel something bubbling in your chest but can’t tell which of the boys triggered such a feeling. Both got on your nerves, and maybe, just maybe, you were close to your breaking point with them. You just opened your mouth to start, but Jungwon interrupts you.

“Sweetie,” he tilts his head for you to see him, a delighted grin on his lips when he lowers his voice volume. “Do you know it is Niki’s fault that Jay is dead?”

gc extras (3) | part 8 | part 9 (finale)

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caught-in-a-seesaw-stigma · 4 years

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Caught Recommendations

Author’s Note: I’m trying to keep track of the amazing BTS-themed series and fics that I’m reading on Tumblr, so I decided to create this post with some short reviews (so I can have them all in one place). These writers are amazing and they keep me coming back for more. They are all smutty as hell and full of amazing characters and conflicts. This is by no means a comprehensive list, and I will be adding them as more catch my eye. Check them out if you get a chance!

Mafia AUs

The Birdcage & the sequel The Lion’s Den by @untaemedqueen

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Mafia AU; Jimin x Reader

What You Need to Know: Jimin-heavy series (and sequel) that dives into Seoul and Busan mafia underground, violence, guns, knives, bombs, pregnancies, and OH so much drama - the writer creates some fascinating characters that we root for and fall in love with over and over again.

Thou Shall Not Steal by @xherxx

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Mafia AU, OT7

What You Need to Know: The richest mafia lord in the industry throws a huge yet twisted deal before he retires and every gang out there wants to get their hands on his riches. - The drama is real in this one and there is plenty of hot, steamy scenes that will make you tingle.

Don’t Care If It Hurts by @hollyhomburg

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Mafia AU, Jimin x Reader

What You Need to Know: After a rival gang makes an attempt on your life, Your older brother, the infamous leader of Seoul’s largest gang; Kim Namjoon, gets you a guard hybrid; Park Jimin, The reigning champion of Seoul’s underground hybrid fighting ring. - Yeah, this is also a hybrid series, but the mafia background is much more prominent. The OC is also smart as a whip and Namjoon as the angry leader and older brother is something to behold. The other members feature as well skilled companions and are very good at their jobs.

Omertà by @lamourche

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Mafia AU, Namjoon x Reader

What You Need to Know: A story about an unlikely mob boss and his mafia princess wife. This is a love story set in a brutal world. - Namjoon and his crew are tight knit and set to take over the mafia underground. In a true Romeo and Juliet twist, you are from an opposing family and are desperate to get away from their oppressive clutches. As an added bonus, you and Namjoon fall in love and build up his empire together.

Blackjack by @kpopfanfictrash

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Mafia AU, Jungkook x Reader

What You Need to Know: Bangtan is one of the most vicious mafias on the west coast. Only six members are known by name though, with a mysterious seventh member dubbed only as 'the shadow.' When you become indebted to the worst of the worst - how, exactly can you find a way out? - Jungkook is such a gem in this fic and the action is amped up to 11 throughout the series.

College/Business AUs

Thesis-It (and the sequel) Prove It by @xherxx

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, College/Career AU, OT7

What You Need to Know: “When life gives you lemons, make cocktails! It doesn’t solve any problems, but then again neither do lemonades. Besides, it has the word cock in it, just like what the Bangtan boys have on them. So, why don’t you just suit yourself?” - This series was a ROLLERCOASTER of emotion, even when it hurts, you keep going back for more. The sequel takes place AFTER college, but the characters still act like college idiots. LOVE THEM!

Fear & Dumplings by @softyoongiionly

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, College AU, Yoongi x reader

What You Need to Know: You’re in your final semester at University when your Abnormal Psychology professor assigns you a partnered project surrounding your greatest fears. Lucky for you, your partner just so happens to be a cute boy named Min Yoongi. - The build up to this relationship is just wonderful and you will be completely enamored by Yoongi in this fic. He’s such a soft precious bean and I want to ruin him.

The Gentlemen by @honeymoonjin

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Reality Show AU, OT7

What You Need to Know: Sick of unsatisfying hookups, boring relationships or the company of your own hand? Apply today for the chance to be on bangasm.com’s very first reality show! Seven attractive young gentlemen will be vying for your choice of who is best in bed. All from different backgrounds, these men claim they’ll be able to rock your world, so don’t hesitate! Apply now! - BEST REALITY SHOW EVER! The characters are vivid and entertaining and the smut scenes are on point. I dare you not to fall in love with every single one of these eligible bachelors.

Tease by @adonis-koo

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Stripper AU, Jungkook x reader

What You Need to Know: You came with the intentions of your best friend landing a job as a stripper. You never meant to catch the eyes of the king stripper of the establishment- Jeon Jungkook, yourself. With what was supposed to be a harmless way of paying off college debt faster you find yourself falling into a very odd and passionate relationship with your new mentor. Between infidelity, passion and jealousy there’s never a dull moment at Cherry Bomb. - Jungkook starts off arrogant and difficult, but as the relationship progresses, he starts embracing his softness for his new trainee. There is also some hot Big-Little action going on here.

No Strings by @kpopfanfictrash

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, College AU, Jimin x reader

What You Need to Know: You voice your concern that you are bad in bed and Jimin offers to test that theory. What ensues is an angsty friends with benefits situation that threatens to tear your friend group apart. You may want to smack Jimin around a bit, but I promise you will not be disappointed in the end.

The Holi-Date by @kpopfanfictrash

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Career AU, Taehyung x reader

What You Need to Know: When your ex-boyfriend becomes engaged to his new girlfriend at your annual Holiday party, you admittedly are not in the best place. Which explains why you down six shots of alcohol, enthusiastically drop it low on the dance floor and - oh, yeah - tell everyone you are also dating someone. The only problem? You are obviously not. Good thing your neighbor happens to be cute and in need of a ride to work every morning. - I absolutely LOVE Taehyung in this fic; he’s playful, sweet, passionate, and funny.

Hybrid AUs

The Mark of Yun-Ki by @ladyartemesia

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Historical Hybrid AU; Yoongi x Reader

What You Need to Know: This story was wonderfully crafted and if a Tiger-hybrid Yoongi full of ferocity and passion and admiration doesn’t do it for you, I don’t know what will.

Reasons Wretched & Divine by @hollyhomburg

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Hybrid AU; Namjoon x Reader x Jimin x Yoongi

What You Need to Know: You live on an isolated but sprawling farm with your abusive husband, but things start to change for the better when your husband adopts a retired police dog hybrid named Namjoon. - There are definitely some trigger warnings you should read at the top, but the series is full of mental and physical healing that endears the characters to the reader. The other members are also present as side characters and are hella sweet.

Abundance by @angelicyoongie

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Hybrid AU; OT7

What You Need to Know: You never expected that you would end up adopting a hybrid, and if someone had told you that you would end up with seven? Well, you would have thought they were crazy. But here you are, with three different packs of hybrids that don’t get along – but all want to stay with you. Yeah, turns out crazy is an understatement. - This is a sweet complicated hybrid situation where three different groups have to find a way to live together. It takes some time, but they all eventual pull together as a family.

Jackrabbit by @jamaisjoons

Genre: Pure Smut; Hybrid AU; Jungkook x reader

What You Need to Know: On a university-wide Easter egg hunt, Jungkook decides to educate you on just how wrong you are about him. - this one shot will have your thighs rubbing together vigorously wishing that you could get a few minutes alone with this domineering bun (just don’t call him that unless you want to get punished).

Strawberry Cream & BBQ by @thatmultifandomhoe

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut; Hybrid AU; Hoseok x reader

What You Need to Know: Your best friend knows she can count on you for anything, so when she asks you to watch her hybrid while she’s gone for a study abroad trip for four months, you can’t say no. But when these four months are over, things have changed in a way no one expected. - The relationship between Hoseok and the OC is so sweet and the drama that erupts after they get together pulls on the heartstrings.

Sci-Fi AUs

Void by @btssavedmylifeblr

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Space AU, OT7

What You Need to Know: You are the only female crew member on a 12 year space mission with seven handsome men. - The sexual tension is real, y’all. The OC is sassy and hilarious, the other crew members provide colorful commentary and conflicts that keep the reading salivating for more.

The Turing Test by @fortunexkookie

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Android AU, Jungkook x reader

What You Need to Know: You are an engineer who created an advanced form of Artificial Intelligence named Jungkook, but with every technological advance, there are always some bugs to work out (and not all of them deal with the creator or the creation).

Parenting AUs

Gingerbread Man by @btsracket

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Jungkook x Reader

What You Need to Know: Jungkook (a recent widower) is a fantastic baker who owns his own shop. The reader bounces in to place an emergency order and fate takes over from there. Jungkook’s son, Jude, is absolutely adorable and all of the angst and drama derived from moving on from an unexpected spousal death makes for one incredible recipe for success.

The Stand-In by @yoonia

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Namjoon x Reader

What You Need to Know: Gaining the courage to leave a loveless marriage was hard enough, but is it really a good idea to run to your best friend for help? And would you refuse him when he offers you another kind of ‘help’? - The themes revolving around infertility and then a sudden pregnancy catapult these characters into a wonderful relationship full of love and possibilities. Plus, Daddy Joon is always a yes on my list.

Intro: Her by @jamaisjoons

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Namjoon x Reader

What You Need to Know: You enter Namjoon’s life in the most unexpected of ways, but will you be able to stay, especially when he comes with three adorable but chaotic children, even more chaotic best friends and a bitch of an ex-wife? not to mention your own emotional baggage. - Namjoon is raising his three boys Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook as you enter his life as a marine biologist. The kids are sweet and sassy, Namjoon is a total mess, but a sweetheart. I never wanted to be a mother to children more than these tots, and the bonus would be snuggling into Daddy Joon’s arms.

Idol AUs

Let Me Hold Them by @jjungkookislife

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; OT7

What You Need to Know: An OT7 series that includes mxm, threesomes, open relationships, polyamory, and angst. Please read at your own discretion & the warnings on each chapter. - It starts off small, and then it escalates quickly. I promise, you will not be disappointed. Read on!

Slight Changes by @jiminimoon

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Taehyung x reader; Jimin x reader

What You Need to Know: Your relationship with Taehyung takes a nose dive when his infidelity is exposed. Luckily, the other members (especially Jimin) step in to make sure you don’t suffer alone. Prepare for angsty chapters and a lot of soul searching in this fic.

The Studio Sessions by @getitinbusan

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Yoongi x reader; OT7 x reader

What You Need to Know: It’s Min Yoongi’s birthday and you’re ready to give him whatever he wants. When he makes a sarcastic wish while blowing out the candles he didn’t think you’d take it seriously. But he’s glad you did. When word spreads about these special “Studio Sessions” everyone wants to collaborate. - You start with one and work your way through the rest without blinking an eye. It’s a smutty paradise.

Love Well Done by @oraclemarie

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Yoongi x reader

What You Need to Know: You are the executive chef of your very own fine dining restaurant. A big company makes you the offer of a lifetime, setting you on a path straight to Min Yoongi-your drunken hook up. - once these two start admitting their love for one another, it ups the drama; people can let jealousy turn them into monsters.

Soulmate AUs

A Thousand Springs by @whitesparrows97

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, OT7

What You Need to Know: Life is short. Eternity is long. Why you in particular are approached by a super attractive man in a club, you did not understand. You understood even less why he wanted to kill you. Fortunately, seven young, also incredibly handsome men show up to help you with this little problem. Purely by coincidence, of course. Or do you really believe in fate? - This fic is action packed with crazy conflicts, special powers, and spicy smut scenes.

The Immortals by @bang-tan-bitches

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, OT7

What You Need to Know: Sometimes, you find your destiny. And sometimes, your destiny does whatever it takes to keep you. - There are some amazing things happening in this fic and I just want to crawl onto that giant bed with all of them and their mysterious golden powers.

Fantasy AUs

Blood Moon Rising by @yoonia

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Vampire/Werewolf AU; Jimin x Reader

What You Need to Know: As beings from ancient times, the Vampire Clan has undergone numerous changes to thrive in the Modern Age after surviving the Ancient Blood War. As a part of the traveller family in his clan, Jimin has parted ways from the coven until the day his Lords warned him of the lurking danger from inside the clan. And all so suddenly, he was pulled out of his solitary, only to have given the responsibility he had never wished to have, along with the threats that come as a part of the deal.

Born as youngest yet having lost so much, you have given your family your loyalty, your protection, and had been given their love and support that had become the only thing that keeps you going. But what happens when the only people you have put your trust in only repay you with betrayal?

This series expands beyond this world and into a whole universe of shifter characters. This storyline also includes characters from her other Shifter Series. The storylines are rich and beautifully crafted, and you will love the way the characters stick together on this magnificent adventure.

Of Fire and Love by @hollyhomburg

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Dragon-Hybrid AU; Yoongi x Reader

What You Need to Know: When Dragon Yoongi finds baby Jungkook in the wreckage of a house he burned down, he can’t bring himself to kill the child. Months after someone drops off a baby at your door, you start to notice something- or someone, lurking at the edge of the woods. - This fantasy world just keeps growing in each chapter and you also get to enjoy a baby Jungkook and a baby dragon Hobi. Beware of fairy Jimin - they’re a sneaky one.

Faerie Realm by @ddaengyoonmin

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Fairy Video Game AU; Jungkook x Reader

What You Need to Know: Your mother gifts you a video game set that allows you to fully enter the brand new virtual world of Faerie Realm on the first day of its launch. You lack any of the skills or knowledge of playing video games, but you end up having fun thanks to skilled player you meet named Kookie! You are lucky to have met him, because this deadly game is not what it seems.- Based on Sword Art Online, but I think it’s better. The other members become a part of the group and drama ensues.

Sweeter than Sweet by @gimmesumsuga

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Vampire AU; Jimin x reader; OT7, eventually

What You Need to Know: You never would have expected someone like Park Jimin to notice you. As handsome and beguiling as he is deadly, you’re enthralled from the very moment you meet. Addicted to his kiss and his bite, Jimin opens up your eyes to a whole new world of love, lust and seduction. - this is a LONG series, but it is TOTALLY WORTH IT. Once you dive into the story, there is no resurfacing until you finish.

A Court of Curses & A Court of Moonlight by @readyplayerhobi

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff; Vampire/Witch/Werewolf AU; Hoseok x reader; Yoongi x reader

What You Need to Know: (ACOC) For millennia, the vampires and witches have hated one another and war has raged between the two. When tensions flare up once more and spill into neutral land, peace is forced upon the two by the faeries. The price of peace sees the Witch Queen married to the Vampire Prince. One hundred years later, how have things changed? (ACOM) As Prince Hoseok’s personal attendant, you travel with him on a diplomatic visit to Lunatis, home of the werewolves. There, you meet the enigmatic and intriguing werewolf prince, Min Yoongi, and discover more than you expected as a mere attendant. - this world is so full of magical wonder and I am so invested in seeing how everything comes together. It also makes me soft when I see how loving Prince Hoseok is toward his family.

Caught-in-a-seesaw-stigma’s MASTERLIST

#bts fic #recommended reading #bts series #bts fanfic #bts smut #BTS au #bts angst #bangtan #bts bangtan sonyeondan #fanfiction recommendation

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riddlecrux · 3 years

Text

The quiet power of emotions - a study of Azriel's feelings (part one)

I would love to preface this meta with my favorite disclaimer that everything I will discuss is based on what I have gathered from SJM writing. The quotes used in this post will serve as a starting point for further analysis. Additionally, I will use symbolism, metaphors, and literary device methods to build up my reasoning and beliefs. On another note, this, as usual, is strictly pro-Elriel meta. If they are not your cup of tea and you wish to comment, please be civil and bring arguments supported by the text.

I've wanted to study Azriel’s behavior in ACOFAS, since it's an official novella and it was translated and published in many countries. Since it has come to my attention that some people say that without Azriel's POV, Elriel wouldn't have anything to be based on (which is totally wrong) I decided to tackle Azriel's behavior and show how he had exhibited his feelings for Elain even before ACOSF came out. The scene I would like to start with this series (meta series if I may call it that way) is the one where Rhys and Azriel talk about Illyria, Jurian, and Vassa. Rhys constantly observes Azriel, and he decides to drop this.

“Send Lucien, then. As our human emissary.” I studied the tenseness in Azriel’s shoulders, the shadows veiling half of him from the sunlight. “Lucien is away right now.”

We can see that Azriel is uncomfortable. He's tense and he even shields himself from Rhys' prying gaze. It's all because Lucien was mentioned - which is a bit telling at this point.

Az’s brows rose. “Where?” I winked at him. “You’re my spymaster. Shouldn’t you know?”

Rhys is kind of testing the waters as well, you can say he's railing up Azriel to bring some reaction. However, the question is why would he? What is the reason behind this behavior? It came out of nowhere in the novella, so it's even more surprising to us to reflect upon it, taking into account what transpired in the bonus POV in ACOSF.

Az crossed his arms, face as elegant and cold as the legendary dagger at his side. “I don’t make a point of looking after his movements.” “Why?” Not a flicker of emotion. “He is Elain’s mate.”

I highlighted Azriel's body language because it's very important. Here we have the notion of crossing arms, which can mean that someone is anxious, resistant, tense, insecure, afraid, or defensive. As we can pinpoint some of these emotions are present in this particular scene - Azriel definitely shields himself up, not only by physically crossing arms but also in the indignation of his expressionless face. The fascinating thing is the addition of the comparison between Azriel's cold face and his legendary dagger - which only further solidifies that Truth Teller is in fact a big part of Shadowsinger. Summarizing up with what we got from these passages we have: - tenseness - obstructing oneself from the view - defensive stance - crossing arms - coldness - emotionless

I waited. “It would be an invasion of her privacy to track him.” To know when and if Lucien sought her out. What they did together.

Here comes my favorite part in this conversation - Rhys seeing himself in Azriel at that moment and Azriel keeping in mind Elain's privacy and agency. Some people try to paint Azriel as some sort of a toxic guy, who is so traumatized that he doesn't value anyone but himself. I'm wondering where this reasoning came from - since nothing exclusively supports that theory. It's clear that Azriel shows respect towards Elain, as stated above in the quotes - even if at this moment, he is clearly showing signs of jealousy. Which, once again is totally fine. All bat boys showed jealousy throughout the books, and every one of them loved their significant other with all their flaws and weaknesses. But going back to the quote, we are met with the assumption about Azriel's decision of not spying on Lucien - given by Rhysand. Nevertheless, something must have had triggered such response to Azriel's behavior and his stance - that's why I strongly believe that Rhys knew what Azriel felt like (in ACOFAS he's testing the waters, trying to see if his assumptions are right or wrong, in ACOSF he pulls a rank because of the consequences of the possible outcome with Lucien being so close.)

“You sure about that?” I asked quietly. Azriel’s Siphons guttered, the stones turning as dark and foreboding as the deepest sea. “Where did Lucien go.”

Rhys noticed and understood that his assumptions about Azriel's feelings and emotions are correct, that's why his tone changed. He is constantly observing and giving us very detailed descriptions of the changes undergoing in Azriel's persona while discussing Lucien (and inwardly Elain.) Now, let's look at the metaphor used to underline his emotions in relation to his Siphons. Azriel’s Siphons guttered, the stones turning as dark and foreboding as the deepest sea. - gutter - flicker and burn unsteadily - foreboding - a feeling that something bad will happen; fearful apprehension

SJM used these words in such a situation - a whole sentence that indicates turmoil that is happening inside Azriel. Behind his aloof expression, we got to know that his emotions are restless, that what he is experiencing is sound and present at this moment. We see that by the description of his Siphons - turning dark at the mention of Lucien's possible whereabouts. We don't necessarily know what Azriel thought - if it was apprehension connected to the possibility of Lucien being in the same house, near Elain, or even somewhere where Azriel wouldn't have expected him to be. Judging by the course of the conversation, I would be inclined to believe that it was thought of Lucien being close to Elain.

I straightened at the pure order in the words. But I said, voice slipping into a drawl, “He went to the Spring Court. He’ll be there for Solstice.”

As we are in Rhys POV we can see that he has been caught off guard by the way Azriel delivers his line, yet he masks it with a drawl. Was it because something that Rhys suspected came true? As in, for example, some validation about Azriel and Elain's relationship? We can guess, however, the text clearly states that Rhys was somehow surprised by the tone of his friend. The pure order is what initially made me reread ACOFAS and this scene few times since it carries a heavy chunk of foreshadowing, but also the weight of Azriel's emotions.

Azriel doesn't let anything on his face, which is almost devoid of emotions while talking to Rhys about Lucien - yet, we get so many descriptions about the way his tone changes, his body language, his Siphons, and gaze. Even if he doesn't show externally that he is feeling all those emotions, that doesn't mean that he lacks them. Because, clearly what we have in the text, suggests that Azriel exhibits symptoms of jealousy. This is completely understandable since in the books we get to know that he and Elain have already started getting to know each other off the pages. Another interesting thing is, how structured and written this scene is. We have an insight into Rhysand's thoughts and he is thinking about Feyre and Tamlin.

With Tamlin, it was more complicated than that. More complicated than I let myself usually dwell on. He was still in love with Feyre. I couldn’t blame him for it. Even if it made me want to rip out his throat. I shoved the thought away.

Rhysand acknowledges the fact that the whole thing with Tamlin is complicated, as he repeats in his mind - the situation was something that literally destroyed one of the Courts. It's also peculiar and worth noticing that Rhys is aware of the love Tamlin has for Feyre, and even if he knows that, he is ready to kill Tamlin.

In the contrast, the talk is about Azriel, Lucien, and... Elain. Another triangle that is, in fact, complicated.

“I’ll discuss Vassa and Jurian with Lucien when he returns. See if he’s up for another visit.” I angled my head. “Do you think he can handle being around Graysen?” Az’s expressionless face was precisely the reason he’d never lost to us at cards. “Why should I be the judge of that?”

Rhys asks about Lucien and how Azriel sees him behaving around Graysen, which in my opinion is another instance of testing Spymaster. I angled my head, which is what Rhysand does and synonym to angle is tilt. Once again we are going to look at what does body language says about it. It can indicate curiosity, suspicion, and in some cases even uncertainty. In this particular moment, I believe it's curiosity mixed with suspicion - Rhys has been observing Azriel the moment he changed the subject of the conversation to Lucien. We also have another description of Azriel's expressionless face - showing us, readers, that Rhys notes the changes in his behavior. Azriel even proceeds with questioning his friend about the purpose of that inquiry and how he of all people is the one who is capable of being a judge in this case. I think we can see it as some sort of dodging, stalling even.

“You mean to tell me that you weren’t bluffing when you said you didn’t track Lucien’s every movement?” Nothing. Absolutely nothing on that face, on his scent. The shadows, whatever the hell they were, hid too well. Too much. Azriel only said coldly, “If Lucien kills Graysen, then good riddance.”

Even if Azriel is described as expressionless and almost emotionless in this scene, we do see the moments when his feelings came up to the surface. Just like here, Azriel bottles down his anger and other emotions, letting out only his coldness. However, the question is why? Why so much iciness and apprehension? If the conversation and subjects of it weren't important to him, he would have probably behaved as usual - with his aloofness, but not necessarily hostility hid behind the frostiness. What's even more notable is the fact that Rhys comments about how his shadows hid his emotions/feelings, even on his scent. Azriel did it on purpose, he covered himself so he wouldn't be detected - or better to say to cover up his true emotions that Rhysand could have easily spotted. The biggest tell about it is the addition of "too much". If there wasn't anything to hide or the emotions under the cover were vain or small - Rhysand wouldn't have had added that thought.

No. Sort of. “I’d think bankrolling her apartment and drinking was gift enough.” Az ran a hand through his dark hair. “Are we …” Unusual for him to stumble with words. “Are we supposed to get the sisters presents?”

The conversation changes its topic - and Rhys starts to discuss sisters and presents. We see that Azriel's first reaction is rooted in body language. He is running his hand through his hair which suggests nervousness, frustration, stress, or even a sign of disagreement over whatever is being said. From all these things I think we can lean towards nervousness the most or even frustration - since just before that leap of the topic he was immersed deep down inside his feelings and tried to mask his true emotions about Lucien and Elain. Another thing is that Rhysand also notices that it's unusual for Azriel to stutter, stumble with his words which he does after he runs his hand through his hair. He's nervous.

“No,” I said, and meant it. Az seemed to loose a sigh of relief. Seemed to, since all but a breath of air passed from his lips. “I don’t think Nesta gives a shit, and I don’t think Elain expects to receive anything from us. I’d leave the sisters to exchange presents amongst themselves.” Az nodded distantly.

Rhysand doesn't even know if he can call Azriel's sigh a sigh since it seems that all it was, was just a short exhale. I do think that it was a sigh - of relief. However, we can speculate about what the relief is connected to. If it is for not buying gifts or maybe because the conversation steered in another direction and all these pent-up emotions, feelings, and even frustrations could finally be released? What's clear is that Azriel feels a lot, in this scene particularly. He is hiding it behind his shadows, obstructing it from Rhys, but also from the reader's point of view. Nevertheless, SJM used an enormous chunk of body language to show us what Azriel is feeling - jealousy. Another thing is that he seemed to think about what's being said about sisters and their gifts - because he was described to be nodding distantly.

Az nodded knowingly. He’d always understood me best—more than the others. Save my mate. Whether it was his gifts that allowed him to do so, or merely the fact that he and I were more similar than most realized, I’d never learned.

I love this quote and that it comes from Rhysand's POV as well. It shows that Rhysand knew and his suspicions were, in fact, correct - because he probably saw himself and his infatuation with Feyre in the way Azriel behaved with Elain. I do also think that it will come back in the next book - the bond between Azriel and Rhysand, and probably some of the small fallout because of what had happened with them in Azriel's POV. SJM put Lucien, Elain, and Azriel in here, while Rhysand thought about his situation with Feyre and Tamlin. Two triangles, two different, complicated outcomes, and relationships. Forbidden romance? Yes. Politically connected? Yes. Could start a war? Yes. There are so many similarities between them.

The thing with Azriel is that his feelings aren't over the top - he's not vocal about them. The power of his emotions lies in the quietness and his actions. If we sat back and looked at scenes in which he acts towards Mor or Elain, we can see that his strength in loving someone isn't connected to words, but rather than that - presence and behavior.

#elriel #pro elriel #elain and azriel #elain x azriel #pro azriel #elriel meta #elriel theory #azriel

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ignorant-rat-carcass · 2 years

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Killing Eve Finale & beyond - thoughts (spoilers-a-plenty regarding the end of the show - so consider yourself warned!)

Okay, so I have thoughts on the ending of the show. And I need to put them down somewhere, so….

Obviously my opinions are just my own; I don't know any of the programme makers involved, their intentions, nor do I know what the future holds for a post-KE future, spin-off's et al, but am quite happy to debate or discuss this if anyone wants. My asks are open. 😊👍

Also please note there is some potentially triggering language used throughout.

This is just my take on the Killing Eve finale, particularly the closing scenes, (although I expect many people may just call it denial - however I'm really just basing my theories and assumptions on over 25 years of study, analysis and experience of and working in storytelling/Television) - spoilers afoot, and long post warning - so here goes......

The 'no body, no proof' thing is a LONG standing trope, used over and over in television and film. Probably not used as much as the shittiest of shity BYG trope, but it's still a lot.

And you know what?! It even applies sometimes when there IS a body!! More times than you might think. I can think of like a dozen examples right off the top of my head!!

I should clarify that by ‘no body’ what I mean is that unless we see a completely lifeless corpse, proven beyond doubt by a (trustworthy*) medical professional, or see them going into the ground, or blown up, or their head shot off, or ripped into a thousand tiny pieces, or hell even blasted the fuck into space without a helmet on, etc etc - ie so unless there is absolutely, definitively, 100%, NO goddamn way in hell's chance of them EVER coming back from it - then their death is NOT certain.

Now Konstantin definitely looked pretty dead to me. Hélène too. I'll quite happily accept those, no issues. Meanwhile Gunn was left very much alive, although I'm really not sure why?!

But personally, I'm not REMOTELY convinced that what we saw of Villanelle in the closing moments could ever be considered absolute undeniable PROOF of her demise. Sure, it really didn't look good for her, but this is fiction and writers have all sorts of (often shitty, and often predictable) cheats ways of getting around something as ‘pesky’ or inconvenient as a character's perceived death getting in the way of a good story.

If we knew Killing Eve was coming back for another season, or maybe even a movie - but as an audience were all under the collective, and intended assumption that Villanelle didn't survive - my guess would be that she did! And THAT'd be the ultimate shock factor the writers were actually going for.

Keep Jodie's involvement under wraps, sure. Close sets and sign the fuck out of NDA's - whatever it takes to keep THAT secret under wraps - but just imagine what a blow up of a return THAT would be?!

And yes, fine, let the audience (provided you haven't alienated them entirely by this point!!) believe for an episode or two (or first act of the movie) that V in fact HAS gone, we all 'know' Jodie 'said her goodbye's to the character and to the show; we moved on. We get it.

So Season 5 (or the movie) gets going - scene, scene, setup, setup, action, action..... then suddenly - Carolyn gets a 'visitor' - WTAF?!!!

VILLANELLE???!!!!

Bang! - FLASHBACK to moments after the shooting on the boat and BOOM! Villanelle is dragged (somehow, ie plot) out of the water alive! But barely. Eve too and she is frantic and heartbroken but hoping against hope! She will NOT lose her AGAIN!!!

Sure, Villanelle takes time to recover, but there's a fucking gold mine of drama there! The vulnerability and tension and tenderness between Eve and Villanelle. We saw crumbs of it throughout the show but this time it's just them for the first time genuinely in it together and actually TOGETHER going through it. With all of the mistrust and second guessing themselves and each other just gone. Just being with each other. And not just content around each other, but happy.

Then, with V eventually getting her strength back - they regroup and work to get their revenge on Carolyn. And whomever pulled the trigger**.

I guess Carolyn was the big bad afterall, so THAT's the finale season I want to see!

(**Surely Carolyn is much like Konstantin and doesn’t get her own hands dirty, right?! I'm thinking Irinia, although why make the unseen shooter mystery ambiguous over everything else - unless that's connected to the spin off?! And why else have her crop up again in the penultimate episode if not to use her further?! If it was to serve as closure for her and Konstantin, it didn't feel like it!). And also, side note…. What the fuck was in K’s letter to C? Did he tell her V killed Kenny?! And if so, did she?! Or was she just killing/having V and E killed to tie up loose ends once The Twelve were gone? Ugh, so many unanswered questions! Thoughts on all of this are very much welcome!

Also, the killing of 'The Twelve' scene felt rather pointless by the end, it was anticlimactic and flat given how much they’ve made a thing of them throughout the show, but this season particularly. To me, it didn't actually bring any kind of meaningful closure to them or answer questions. Jodie was stellar, as always, but the conclusion felt rushed and lacked specifics for me.

So…. All that said, I think at this point, given there is no talk of KE returning, a movie, or any spin off involving Jodie or Sandra I'm not even sure that 'resolving' any of it now would redeem the show for what they did to Villanelle and Eve (in the eyes of much of the audience, and/or the cast if they're also equally unhappy with the direction the show/characters took), and would probably feel more like a 'well that's what we WANTED you to think', knee jerk reaction to the response they'll probably end up getting in any event if they U turned it now.

I don't know if I'd even want that kind of lip-service, I think I'd feel cheated. But, maybe further development of the show/characters in whatever form, in the right hands may provide a more satisfactory closure for the characters, the show, and frankly better serve the audience and cast who poured their hearts and souls into it.

(I mean, who am I kidding! If they did make it, with those two incredible women at the helm - of COURSE I'll fucking watch it!)

So, unless Jodie and Sandra have COMPLETELY ruled out ever returning to these roles (though I sadly suspect that is the case), as far as I'm concerned nothing is off the table and therefore Villanelle is very much Schrödinger's cat until I see evidence to the contrary.

Anyways, that's just my two pennies, and unless anyone can convince me otherwise I'll live happily with that possibility for the foreseeable.

At the very least, I did enjoy the ride immensely, even if I didn’t love the final destination.

Now please excuse me while I go rewatch them a couple hundred times.

*trustworthy - in this instance is a character whom by lying about someone's death serves no purpose to the story and therefore no reason or motivation to lie.

#killing eve spoilers #killing eve #killing eve analysis #killing eve theories #killing eve finale #ke spoilers #villaneve #eve polastri #jodie comer #sandra oh #long post

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inkbyajm · 4 years

Text

Bottled Up

pairing: C.H. x fem!reader

category: angst, fluff

warnings: yelling, crying, insecurities

word count: 2.2k

notes: apologies for the tardy post, i wrote and rewrote and re-rewrote the whole angsty scene because i didn’t know if it was written well enough, i wanted to make sure you guys could feel the emotions that i vividly visualised and tried my best to put into words :( i did send it to a friend to check and she seemed to like it, so let me know how it goes for you, my loves. the angst for this one was inspired by 2 different songs - hold me while you wait by lewis capaldi and i will run from you by cemeteries. it’s not necessarily about the lyrics, but more about the melody and the mood you get into listening to them (they go in order). give those a listen :) also, beware of the upcoming philosophy references, i did study philosophy last year, hopefully no one gets triggered lmao

< previous next >

Is a person’s scent something a normal human being picks up on before taking into account the rest of their features? Would a normal human being remember said scent and be able to recognise it in a crowd full of strangers? Corpse wasn’t too sure about the answer, but one thing he did know, is that she smelled delicately sweet, like cherry blossoms, and that ever since he had noticed it during their game night a few weeks ago, he simply couldn’t let it go. It was intoxicating, but in a calming way.

━

Corpse and (Y/N) each lay on their beds in their own homes, going into the third hour of their call. He couldn’t exactly fall asleep, so he had decided to see what his dear friend was up to, and even though she was this close to succumbing to sleep, she said nothing and stayed up to keep his busy mind company.

“Okay, hot topic: what do you think about soulmates? More specifically the romantic type?” the girl asked, not knowing how much of a risqué question it was. How was he supposed to answer?

“I don’t really have an opinion on it. Why?”

“I read Symposium by Plato the other day and it presented an interesting concept about human beings. Basically-” Of course she fucking read philosophical books. How were they even having a conversation with each other? Why were they even friends? She was on a whole other level of smart. “-so this guy says that humans were like androgynous blobs, so they’d come in two sets of everything a normal person has. But those humans were so powerful, the gods were literally shaking in their robes, so Zeus decided to cut everyone into two to weaken them. But then humans became so miserable, they spent their entire lives searching for their other halves. In the end, Zeus kinda felt bad and said fuck it, I’ll give y’all dicks and vaginas for every time you wanna hug each other. And that’s the oldest explanation there is about the idea of soulmates.” she sighed, finished with her rant.

“That was...not at all the story I expected to hear.” she heard him mumble on the other side of the call. “Yeah, Greek philosophers were up to some reeal freaky things, you would have loved them,” he laughed at her joke, “I honestly think it’s cute. Not the whole cutting people into two thing, but like, longing for someone and then finding them because you finally feel complete. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a strong independent woman who doesn’t need a prince in shining whatever to sweep me off my feet. But it does sound nice, that ideal comfort, a person you’re just...meant to be with, I guess.”

There was a moment of silence that neither of them really minded, before it was Corpse’s turn to ask the second bold question of the night. “Have you found that person yet? Your soulmate?”

She’s never thought about it before, but she hasn’t really thought about soulmates that much either, it was a spontaneous thought she had said out loud. “I’m not sure, actually. (B/F/N) could be one, I guess.” (Y/N) shrugged in return. Wasn’t she going to ask him about it? She probably didn’t care that much. Understandable.

“My favourite quote about love is «You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.». It’s by Sam Keen, the American philosopher. It maay be the hopeless romantic in me shining through, but I do very much agree with his statement.” Did this mean anyone could have a chance with her despite their fuckups? So if he were to try, would she-?

“Obviously, there are some things that just can’t be ignored or avoided, but at that point it’s preferences and personal tolerance. Depends on the person, ya know?” she swiftly added, unaware of the effect it had on him. Sick. Some people were just meant to rot alone.

The final question was posed by (Y/N). She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t at all curious. This little crush of hers had been steadily growing with every hang out, every laugh, every hug and every glance. There are rarely ever moments where one could casually discuss a topic this personal with friends, at least there weren’t with friends one had feelings for. This was the perfect opportunity.

“Corpse?”

“Hmm?”

“Have you ever been in love?” her voice was soft, her approach gentle.

“Well, I’ve been in relationships before, so I guess, yeah? It’s been so long, I don’t even know what love feels like anymore.” he let out a breath resembling a chuckle. Lamest fucking answer ever. But it was true. He hadn’t thought about love in that way in quite a while.

“A lot of people describe it as having an intense range of overwhelming feelings. Lightheadedness, slight shakiness, heart palpitations, some people have even reported losing their appetite. Crazy how human bodies work, huh? Oh! Speaking of chemicals-”

She had continued on to ramble about...chemistry? Eyes? Corpse couldn’t really hear what she was saying anymore, let alone concentrate on her words, as he pieced everything that’s been happening for the past few months together. The nauseating feeling. The pounding of his heart so fast it felt like he was about to die. The urge to make as little eye contact with her as possible, because otherwise he’d turn into a furnace. The obsession with her perfume, like he was some fucking creep. The fool was falling in love. And it was at that moment that everything had come crumbling down.

━

(Y/N) and Corpse hadn’t talked for a couple of weeks. Or rather (Y/N) messaged the 23 year old many times, but he’d either claim to be busy or just not answer at all. There were two possible reasons for the sudden lack of contact: he was indeed busy with his musical projects and couldn’t allow himself to be distracted; or something much more serious was going on. It didn’t matter, for she was already in her car, on her way to his apartment.

Arriving at her destination, she used the spare key he gave her months ago, a sign of absolute trust, and allowed herself into his humble abode. Silence reigned in her friend’s residence. She thought maybe he had gone somewhere, and though that was unlikely, it wasn’t unprecedented. The door to his recording room was closed, and while she was tempted to check if he was in there, she refrained from doing so, knowing that specific room was not to be entered unless he was around to give permission.

“Corpse?” she called out just to make sure. There was no response for a few minutes, which made her assume she had the place for herself, until she heard a door open behind her. Turning around, she saw his figure emerge from said recording room in a white t-shirt and black sweatpants, his curly hair disheveled.

“Hey, how are you d-”

“Why are you here?” he spoke flatly, interrupting her. “Well- You weren’t, um, answering your messages or any of my calls, so I thought something had happened.” she replied, suddenly nervous, fiddling with the rings on her fingers. “Nothing happened. I told you I was busy.”

The air around them seemed colder as tensions rose. (Y/N) could tell he was irritated, but she couldn’t exactly figure out why. She had never seen this side of him before. “Okay. Tell you what, I assume you haven’t had dinner yet, so why don’t I go ahead and start cooking something up while you-”

“Get out.”

She blinked a few times, not quite registering the words that had just left his mouth. “Sorry?” Her voice was quiet. She was taken off guard.

“Are you deaf? I said get. the fuck. OUT.”

Corpse shouted the last word, making her flinch in what appeared to be fear. Good. Run away while you still can. Heart pounding, (Y/N) took a second to remind herself whom she was speaking to. “I see that you’re angry, but at least give me a reason why-”

“You want a reason? I just don’t fucking WANT you here!” Anger grew inside of him like a tumor, but it wasn’t intended for her. She had simply been caught in a storm that had been building up for years. “Do you understand that?! I can’t fucking be around you without feeling like I’m going to EXPLODE.”

His words hit her like paintballs. They were only words, plain and simple, but they dug deeper and deeper into her skin with each hit, until, eventually, it broke. Eyes burning, she felt the tears slowly welling up in them.

“Why are you doing this to me?!” her own voice grew louder with frustration, but mostly, confusion.

“Maybe because I can? Because I’m a goddamn asshole?”

“Don’t say that.”

“How?! How can I not say it when it’s the truth!” He wanted to stop. His mind told him to cease whatever it was that he was doing. However, blinded with resentment towards himself, he only spilled words he would regret after it was too late.

“I can’t function like a normal fucking human being. I can’t be a good friend, son, or whatever the fuck else, and I sure as hell can’t love you.”

The paintballs had turned into a singular sword. A very long, very sharp sword that had found itself plunged deep inside her chest. How did he found out? When? Had she been too obvious? Had she been pushy? Clingy? Way out of line? The woman before him was unable to conceal her shock, as tears came rushing down her hot cheeks. Her voice brittle, she tried defending herself. She couldn’t leave it at that. She had to try. Try to have him see reason. “You don’t love me, that’s fine. But you didn’t have to deliver it this way-”

“But I did.” breathless with fury, Corpse clenched his fists so tight they had turned cold, yet they were still trembling. “You can get so naïve and dumb, you won’t understand things unless they’re spelled out nice and fucking bold for you.”

He closed with (Y/N) until their noses nearly touched. He noticed the way she silently shook, her eyes which shed endless tears never leaving his gaze. Unable to make a single sound, she felt the man’s hot breath on her face, his aura domineering.

“Now get. out.”

Her body wouldn’t cooperate as she just stood there. Staring back at him, her inner brows raised. Corpse wanted to hug her. Envelop her trembling figure with his and tell her he was sorry, that he meant none of it, that he had lost his mind. But he couldn’t bring himself to do anything. And with his own tears threatening to spill, he created a distance between them. He needed her gone.

“Leave! GO!”

His yelling was enough to jolt (Y/N) out of her trance, and, in a hurry, she sprinted towards the entrance. The door closed behind her, she felt a sudden urge to fill her lungs with much needed air. She jumped at the resounding scream that emanated from deep within his soul, letting out all of his pent-up rage.

Feet carrying her all the way to her car parked outside of the building, the young woman managed to climb in, and this was the queue for her body to break down. The night was young. The street empty. No one around to hear her long-lasting wailing. She clutched the steering wheel for support, fingers wrapping around the leather in a tight grip. A headache was creeping up from the back of her skull. Her ears pulsated in response to the heavy pounding of her heart. Clumsily, (Y/N) inserted the key into the ignition, felt around for the gear stick, and drove away. She didn’t know where she was going or how long it was going to take to get there. She needed to get out.

What went wrong? When did it go wrong? She couldn’t help but feel guilty, feel at fault. She had never seen that side of him before. He had never treated her that way before.

It was the hugs, wasn’t it? He had to have noticed the way she held on for a second too long to enjoy the smell of his cologne. Her vision blurred as she resumed softly weeping, her salty tears staining her top. Or it might have been the touchiness, she would practically glue herself to him during their movie nights. Unaware of both her actions and surroundings, (Y/N)’s breathing quickened, becoming ragged. Maybe he didn’t like the way she called him three times a week. Her hands were slowly losing control over the wheel, over the vehicle she was driving. She invaded his privacy. That was definitely it. Fuck. How could she have been so damn blind, selfish, ignorant, FUCKING STUPID.

Lights. Something was moving towards her- MOVE.

With a sharp turn, she dodged the approaching car just by a hair’s breadth, but as she had avoided one accident, another came just as quickly.

#corpse husband x reader #corpse x reader #corpse x you #corpse husband x you #corpse husband fic

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jadedxrealityw · 4 years

Text

-Hot All Over- Draco Malfoy x Female Reader

♡~🐍~♡

Request: Hey! Happy you're reopening! I have a request, don't know it it's usable buuuuuuuuut I really like the idea of houses showing traits that are not common for them. So for example Draco fancying this Hufflepuff girl but ofc he doesn't approach her because she is Hufflepuff (sad, i know) - but then she does something cool, dangerous or gets a freaking tattoo or idk you know what i mean? and he'd be like DAMN GIRL THAT'S HOT and finally approaches heeer.

Kody: Oh this is such a good idea, im hella excited now. Added some extra extra for plot.

Year: 7th

House: Hufflepuff

Possible Triggers/Warnings: slight mature themes, slut shaming, Cormac McLaggen

♡~🐍~♡

being a Hufflepuff meant that you valued hard work, patience, justice, and loyalty. It also meant you were stereotyped into a cutesy, muffin baking, defenceless girl. Which you were indeed not. You were very capable of taking care of yourself, but no really saw that side of you.

to everyone you were the cute little Hufflepuff girl who hung out with the all to famous Cedric Diggory. You guys practically grew up together so it wasn’t rare to find you two hanging out with each other. Two peas in a pod really. He also knew about your humongous crush on Draco Malfoy.

you and Draco had almost every class together so it was natural that you two talked occasionally. At first it was only him asking for notes he missed, which didn’t seem that friendly now that you think about it, but then he started to actually hold conversations with you.

soon after you began to notice him stealing glances at you from across the classroom or the one time he not so subtlety mean mugged Neville Longbottom into changing his partners for an assignment so he instead could be your partner. You honestly thought he liked you, hell you liked him too.

but then he got with some random Slytherin girl. Saying it was upsetting was an understatement. You were crushed, truly crushed. It has currently been a week since the ‘incident’ per say and you had been avoiding the Slytherin prince all together, except for formal ‘hellos’ and ‘sorry for bumping into you’

as you sat down on the soft loveseat, you feel somebody come up behind you “Hey Ced” you spoke, eyes never leaving the book. You hear his familiar laugh and look up at the same time as he comes around to sit in front of you. “Still can’t sneak up on you, huh?”

you shook your head, closing the novel in your hands. “Nope” he chuckles and plops himself down on the armrest. “So the team is having a practice match with Slytherin. Want to come?” he asked. You shrugged your shoulders, seeing nothing wrong with it.

“yeah sure, just let me get dressed”

♡~🐍~♡

walking alongside Cedric, you adjust the collar of the yellow turtleneck you wore. He had his Quidditch uniform on with his broom in one hand as you both walked onto the field. You looked around seeing the Hufflepuff team and some students who seemingly were going to watch the game as well.

turning your head to the left you were met with Draco Malfoy slicking his platinum blond hair with his hand only for it to fall back in his face. “Oh shit” you mutter, alarming Cedric. He looked around quickly to see what you were looking at. His eyes stop on Draco and pats your back “C’mon, lets go”

he ushers you to the Hufflepuff team.

♡~🐍~♡

he watches as Diggory leads you away from his line of vision, his expression saddening. “you look like a creep” said Blaise Zabini, the Quidditch chaser, also Draco’s best mate. The young Malfoy scoffs and turns to face his friend “just ask her out already, it is so painful watching you drool over her” Blaise adds.

Draco shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest “She’s a Hufflepuff-” “oh merlin here we go again with the house talk” Theodore Nott interjects, going over to lean on Blaise’s shoulder. “What happened to fuck my parents, i’m going to live my own life?”

and there goes Pansy Parkinson. His whole friend group was on him this time. Draco looks at all three of them and exhales deeply “She’s to innocent for me anyway. I’m a Slytherin for merlin’s sake, i’ll corrupt her” he sputters out. All three of them burst into fits of laughter.

Blaise grabs Theo’s face and gives him a overexaggerated sorrowful look “Y/n, i am sorry, but i’m afraid i’ll corrupt you with my edge” he spoke with a dramatic tone. Theo stifles his laughter and copies his expression “But Draco i love you, i don’t care if you corrupt me”

Draco watches the both of them with an unamused expression “I seriously hate both of you, so much” the both of them let go of each other and bow at the same time. “Also that will never happen, she’s been avoiding me lately” he huffs. Pansy shrugs her shoulders.

“maybe it’s because some psycho girl claimed you guys were together like a week ago. It hurt her feelings! This is why i’m a lesbian. Guys are bloody idiots” she exclaims, throwing her arms in the air. Blaise nods “I would say same, but i’m currently dating this guy so” he points to Theo.

“let’s just get this game over with”

♡~🐍~♡

the game ended with Hufflepuff taking the victory. You smiled brightly and made your way to the edge of the stands. You held your arms up “Cedric!” you yell out. You watch as the brown haired Hufflepuff turned his broom to the left and began to fly over to you. In a matter of seconds he held his hand out for you and you grabbed his hand.

he pulled you up and onto to his broom. You wrapped your arms around his waist as he flew towards the ground. Once he landed you hopped off, chuckling “That never gets old” he nods, agreeing. The hufflepuff team landed and began to crowd Cedric and you. Cheering for there seeker.

students flooded out the stands and most cheered Cedric’s name. Cedric wrapped his arm around your shoulders, giving you a side hug. As most of the students began to leave and you were left with Hufflepuff team “you did great out there Cedric!” you shout in excitement.

“oh merlin hop off his dick Y/n” someone said from behind you. You turn around and felt the urge to gag. Cormac McLaggen. “Excuse me?” you say, crossing your arms. “You heard me Y/n, we all know your sleeping with Diggory over here. Probably the whole Hufflepuff house” he looked so smug.

Cedric didn’t take kindly to his words and grabbed your arm, beginning to lead you away “That’s right, walk away Y/n. Hey Cedric tell me when it’s my turn with the Hufflepuff slut” he smirked, chuckling in the most vile manner. He was truly the worst person to ever exist.

you saw red

in a swift motion you jerked your arm away from Cedric and rushed towards Cormac, you threw yourself at him. He was knocked to the ground while you straddled his waist. Hands clenched in a fist, you began to hit Cormac in the face repeatedly. Everyone was stunned.

“You. Gross. Son. Of. A. Bitch!” you yelled, still wailing on the Gryffindor boy under you. Cormac tried to use his arms to block your hits, but it was no use. You were running on adrenaline and at the moment you were stronger than Hagrid. “You. Couldn’t. Fuck. Yourself. Out. Of. A. Wet. Dream!” (not my joke)

Cormac was able to scratch your face and such, but nothing to damaging. You feel somebody grab you by your waist and pull you off of Cormac. Cedric. who’s bruises had bruises. You huffed and tried to push away from whoever it was, but they tightened their grip instead.

“Calm down Y/n! Stay here oi have to take him to the hospital wing and make sure he doesn’t get you in detention!” he exclaims and lets go of you, leaving you to sit on the grass. He rushes over with another Hufflepuff and picks the bruised boy up and with that, they both left.

♡~🐍~♡

“i think you did great out there Draco” Pansy gives him a warm smile and he nos to her. “Thanks Pans” he spoke. “oh merlin hop off his dick Y/n” he snapped his head towards the direction of Cormac like an owl, his face turning into a scowl. “Oh this bitch” Pansy scoffed.

Draco watched as Cedric tried to lead you away from the scene “That’s right, walk away Y/n. Hey Cedric tell me when it’s my turn with the Hufflepuff slut” what did he just say. In a blink of an eye you were on top of Corma, completely destroying him.

he didn’t know what it was, but watching you punch Cormac in the face with an angered expression was the biggest turn on he could ever imagine. Maybe it’s because he thought you were a innocent girl, but the way you had just tackled this guy was the complete opposite.

“Beat his ass Y/n!” Pansy yelled, throwing her fist in the air. Draco looked over at her, but Pansy just shrugged. What a instigator. Cedric pulled you off of and left you on the ground to go deal with Cormac. Draco just stared in complete aw of you. You flip your hair out of your face as you spit out what looks like blood.

in an instant, he was hot all over.

“Go now, don’t think just go!” Pansy pushed Draco’s back towards your direction. His legs were on autopilot while he walked over to you. He felt the warmth surround him again as you looked up at him, then his hand. Draco looked as well and saw a rag? Pansy must have shoved it in his hand.

Draco hesitates, but crouches down in front of you. “Can i?” he asked in a low tone. You eye him for a moment, studying his expression before nodding slowly. He uses his hand to grab your chin, turning it up before pressing the rag to your bloody cheek. You wince a pit and he gives you an apologetic look.

he cleans the blood off your cheek and lets go of your face “That was- what you did- shit- that was hot as hell” he sputter a bit as he speaks. Your eyes widen a bit “Um- thank you?” you said, unsure of how to answer. “Do you want to like- go out with me sometime?” he asked.

“i know you’ve been avoiding me and Pansy said it was because of the girl i was going out with but she just made that up. I’m not actually going out with her. You see i actually really like you, but i thought it was a bad idea because i’m a Slytherin and i was scared that i ruin your innocence, but you can clearly handle yourself- like damn and i just-”

Draco’s rant was cut off when you grab the collar of his shirt, bringing him into a quick kiss. You let go and pull away leaving him dumbfounded. You smnicker a bit at his reaction and smile cheekily “Yeah i’d love to go out with you” Draco smiles brightly and leans into kiss you again

making him hot all over.

♡~🐍~♡

Kody: idk even know what this is. Did i just make three Slytherins gay? yes, yes i did. For plot. Anyways, peace.

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billy-crudup · 3 years

Note

why do you want bradley to be with the guy who not only outed her but invited her girlfriend to cohost knowing damn well news were gonna break while they were on air?

ahhhhh, this is the ask i’ve been waiting for. buckle up, bc i have A LOT of thoughts, and there’s much to unpack here.

let me just begin with saying that i ship bradley and cory from season 1. since i haven’t trusted anyone in the show when i started watching, it happened gradually, and by the end i was fully shipping them. even then, i already saw a few people being negative about the ship on twitter, but i kinda just ignored it. it was mostly about how they shouldn’t be together since cory is bradley’s boss, and it’s an unhealthy dynamic, which goes against everything the show stands for. i completely disagree with the last bit here, since the show IS about complicated workplace dynamics and NAVIGATING them, healthy or not. despite that, i can’t really imagine them together while they both still work at UBA. so in order for that to work out, one or both should leave.

when it comes to the outing itself, let me note that i do not excuse or approve of cory’s decisions. it’s very important to keep in mind while reading my whole rant. i really hate what he did, i truly do, and i wish it didn’t happen. he literally took her own right to come out and it’s very upsetting. yet, the betrayal had to take place, in order for his character to develop and have a proper arc, but i wish it was something else. at this point, i just hope that cory owns up to what he did, and learns from it. and tells bradley about it, of course. he still has a long way to go before he can be with her anyways.

all the accusations of bradley/cory shippers ‘hurting the gay community’ are crazy to say the least. i do understand why some people hate the ship and can be triggered by what cory did, it makes a lot of sense. outing someone is a very harmful thing to do, and can literally fuck up their whole lives (but lets remember though, that this is a tv show we’re talking about, and a couple of fictional characters, not the lgbt community overall). it’s important to note that I’m am straight woman, who has plenty of lgbt friends and did a course of gender and sexuality studies in university, as it’s something that i find very interesting. speaking of lgbt people in my life who have watched the show, a few can’t forgive cory for what he did, and are against him being with bradley, but many of them still ship them. because of my sexuality, i don’t think it’s my place to tell whether bradley should forgive him or not. there are a lot of opinions out there, and i just think you can’t generalize by saying we as a whole are ‘hurting’ the gay community, since, there are lgbt people out there who ship cory/bradley too. what i’m saying is, if all lgbt people ik in my life/saw online would hate bradley/cory i would look at it very differently. but it’s just not the case here. just bc you wouldn’t be able to forgive cory, doesn’t mean that no queer person would. the story the writers tell us doesn’t have to fit any specific set of morals. and also people are literally saying, omg cory destroyed her life blah blah blah, but did he, really? i mean, of course, it is extremely traumatizing to be outed and it’s a very sensitive topic. it can turn people’s lives upside down. but tms didn’t really explore that. they didn’t show enough consequences for bradley. her brother already knew, and she doesn’t seem to care about her mom at all. bradley seemed so upset and embarrassed, i genuinely felt horrible watching those scenes in ep6 and just wanted to hug her. but later i asked myself, how would these scenes be any different if some other information about her private life would be leaked? just smth to think about. i wish the writers would have touched on the consequences of the outing more, but they didn’t - they didn’t explore how bradley got traumatized by this whole experience at all. and the outing itself wasn’t even mentioned in the last 4 eps (apart from cory trying to confess), it’s like everyone has forgot it even happened.... still shocked that alex never found out tbh. one of the most important things for me in people are their intentions. that’s how i judge them, both in fiction and irl. cory wanted to keep hannah’s name clean first and foremost, not to out bradley. it doesn’t make it okay or the right decision, but he was stuck. if cory didn’t keep his promise about hannah, bradley would probably never forgive him. but he also genuinely wanted to do right by hannah. cory felt a very strong responsibility for her without even knowing her, because her dad was not able to protect her. one of tms’ writers scott troy confirmed in a tweet that the hannah situation was personal for cory because his dad was never there for him too. cory did not wish to purposefully harm bradley. the decision he made didn’t come from a malicious place. he is neither abusive nor predatory. did he fuck up big time while having ‘good’ intentions? he sure did, and it’s clearly bothering him. but also he doesn’t expect anything from bradley, he doesn’t expect her to forgive him, or to return his feelings. he just wants to be there for her and cares about her deeply, despite what he did earlier. here is where i’m pulling all my receipts, since a lot of people for some reason think cory outed bradley bc he’s jealous of laura and wants to destroy their relationship or whatever. here’s what billy crudup said in THR interviews: «But what [Cory] did guess was that the preservation of Hannah’s legacy, as far as he could tell, was most ensured by something salacious. And he didn’t suspect that there would be any lasting consequences for anybody who was involved in this salacious information, and so he made a guess.» this pretty much confirms that cory has 0 brain cells, it’s very unfortunate that he at the time did not understand how much it can hurt bradley. this clown literally had no idea what he was doing.... also there’s this bit in another newer THR article: «[Cory has] been a caretaker in a way. What he was really concerned about was the well-being of this precious person to him and being able to articulate that that was also him being in love with her, it would have been impossible until that moment. I don’t think that was the motivation for him trying to undermine her relationship with Laura.” i think billy said it all tbh. this confirms that he wants what’s best for bradley, despite what he did. sometimes we do terrible things to the people we love, and we later regret it. again, let me clarify, that i’m not defending what cory did, but merely explaining. i’ve seen so many people see cory in a completely different light, and if i saw him that way too, i would never ship him with bradley.

also can i just say that i don’t hate laura (bc some twitter stans are convinced that cory/bradley shippers hate her???). i actually think she’s pretty cool and is good for bradley at the given moment. bradley needed her in order to develop as a character, and i’m happy laura could provide that for her. i don’t really see them ending up together for many reasons. i just think that laura needs someone as emotionally mature as her, and not as chaotic as bradley. and that she can offer so much to bradley and guide her, but bradley can’t give much back in return. and also bc laura wants bradley to be a certain way (confirmed by reese in an interview), as opposed to cory, who accepts her and loves her (unconditionally) the way she is. again, this is just my opinion. and also tms is about morally gray characters, and i find it hilarious every time i see someone call laura ‘perfect’ or ‘the best character on tv right now’. none of them are perfect guys, they all have flaws, and thats the whole point.

i’m going to end this rant of mine by saying how disappointed i am by this fandom overall. tms is by far the most toxic fandom i’ve ever been in. and here, i’m mostly talking about twitter people. tumblr is a safe space for me, i have a lot of friends and mutuals here who support me, and we developed our own community. i sometimes go on reddit to read all the discussions too, people are also keeping it respectful there. but hell is empty, and all the demons are on twitter! i really don’t get how can someone possibly attack and cancel another person online bc of a ship/smth fictional??? and without knowing anything about them? like some random people said that i ‘excuse’ cory or whatever bc i stan billy crudup fghdjksfg like IM NOT MAKING THIS UP…… or that i am disgusting, homophobic, hurting the gay community, hate women, should be in jail etc etc…… people who know me, who truly know me, are certain that i am none of those things, and so am i. since i try to treat everyone with kindness and compassion, this is smth that i truly can’t wrap my head around. i’ve been minding my own business and trying to have a good time, making gifs and videos, but i still get plenty of hate bc of a ship. A SHIP!!! AND the fact that the writers and the smm had to deal with all the bullying and death threats is insane, i feel so incredibly sorry for them. like their smm hasn’t posted anything about cory in over a month bc of this. look, there are plenty of fictional characters i can’t stand too, but you don’t see me tweeting about it, or making posts, or commenting about it under someone else’s work. if you’re that obsessed with a fictional character/ship that you resort to harassing people online, including the writers, then you need to get a life and go to therapy. i acknowledge that what cory did is highly problematic bc of what he did, BUT THIS IS FICTION. and just like real people, fictional characters fuck up, and it doesn’t make them unforgivable or unlovable. you can disagree and disapprove of stuff a character has done, and still find them compelling. and i should be able to enjoy fiction without being told that i’m an awful human being because of who i like and what i ship. and this whole purity culture is very messed up, so many people don’t understand that a lot of things are not as black and white as they seem. especially in tms, where there is so much moral ambiguity. at the end, i really think that it doesn’t matter if you agree with me or not, or what you think about the ship. what important is understanding why certain people think the way you do, and simply respecting them. if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all. it’s not too much to ask.

#the morning show #asks #nastya talks #kinda surprised that cory gets so much h8 when theres literally mitch and fred out there bgfjdnkm and alex too tbh #this is the first and the last time i am going to address this on here #i hope i didn't forget anything but if i did i might add some more edits later #anyways im posting this and disabling my ask box for a while byeeee #i dont want even more negativity in my life

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bamf-jaskier · 4 years

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Who the Fuck is Eskel?

If you have ever gone on The Witcher tag on Tumblr, I’m sure you’ve seen dozens of blogs dedicated to this guy named Eskel and for people who have just seen the show you might be wondering - who the fuck is this guy?

Hi, I’m Aaliyah, and this is Part 5 of my WTF Series - a crash course in subjects from The Witcher Books.

Post under the cut

Let’s jump in by talking about what books Eskel is in. He’s only mentioned in one line in The Last Wish, The Tower of Swallows and The Time of Contempt. He has a flashback scene in Lady of the Lake and the only book where he plays a heavy role in is Blood of Elves.

For all you Eskel Stans out there, this is good news, because it looks like S2 of the show is going to be taking some cues from Blood of Elves and we do know Eskel is going to be appearing so these scenes might be showing up in some form or another in the show.

We first meet Eskel in Blood of Elves when Geralt is first bringing Ciri to the keep:

“Who comes?” Ciri heard a menacing, metallic voice which sounded like a dog’s bark. “Geralt?”

“Yes, Eskel. It’s me.”

“Come in.”

The witcher dismounted, took Ciri from the saddle, stood her on the ground and pressed a bundle into her little hands which she grabbed tightly, only regretting that it was too small for her to hide behind completely.

“Wait here with Eskel,” he said. “I’ll take Roach to the stables.”

“Come into the light, laddie,” growled the man called Eskel. “Don’t lurk in the dark.”

Ciri looked up into his face and barely restrained her frightened scream. He wasn’t human. Although he stood on two legs, although he smelled of sweat and smoke, although he wore ordinary human clothes, he was not human. No human can have a face like that, she thought.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” repeated Eskel.

She didn’t move. In the darkness she heard the clatter of Roach’s horseshoes grow fainter. Something soft and squeaking ran over her foot. She jumped. “Don’t loiter in the dark, or the rats will eat your boots.”

Still clinging to her bundle Ciri moved briskly towards the light. The rats bolted out from beneath her feet with a squeak. Eskel leaned over, took the package from her and pulled back her hood.

“A plague on it,” he muttered. “A girl. That’s all we need.”

She glanced at him, frightened. Eskel was smiling. She saw that he was human after all, that he had an entirely human face, deformed by a long, ugly, semi-circular scar running from the corner of his mouth across the length of his cheek up to the ear.

“Since you’re here, welcome to Kaer Morhen,” he said. “What do they call you?”

“Ciri,” Geralt replied for her, silently emerging from the darkness. Eskel turned around. Suddenly, quickly, wordlessly, the witchers fell into each other’s arms and wound their shoulders around each other tight and hard. For one brief moment.

“Wolf, you’re alive.”

“I am.”

“All right.” Eskel took a torch from its bracket. “Come on. I’m closing the inner gates to stop the heat escaping.”

Couple things here. First, for all the game fans out there, Eskel’s scar in the books is VERY different. It’s not the lightening-like claw marks that go over his eye but instead it goes from the corner of his mouth to his ear. This is interesting because it really parallels in my mind Ciri’s scar she gets later on that extends from under her eye to her ear.

Also, the little reunion between Geralt and Eskel, so sweet. The line about Eskel in Last Wish establishes that they were close friends so here is the snippet just to give more backstory to the two of them:

“Once, years ago, when a little snot-faced brat following his studies in Kaer Morhen, the Witchers’ Settlement, he and a friend, Eskel, had captured a huge forest bumblebee and tied it to a jug with a thread. They were in fits of laughter watching the antics of the tied bumblebee, until Vesemir, their tutor, caught them at it and tanned their hides with a leather strap.”

Childhood friends and brothers is just so damn great. Actually, speaking of brothers, it is stated in Blood of Elves that Geralt and Eskel actually look very similar and are often mistaken for brothers such as in this scene from Triss’s POV.

Eskel stood next to Geralt, resembling the Wolf like a brother apart from the colour of his hair and the long scar which disfigured his cheek. And the youngest of the Kaer Morhen witchers, Lambert, was there with his usual ugly, mocking expression. Vesemir was not there.

“Welcome and come in,” said Eskel. “It is as cold and blustery as if someone has hung themselves. Ciri, where are you off to? The invitation does not apply to you. The sun is still high, even if it is obscured. You can still train.”

“Hey.” The Enchantress tossed her hair. “Politeness comes cheap in Witchers’ Keep now, I see. Ciri was the first to greet me, and brought me to the castle. She ought to keep me company—”

This really interests me because Ciri is very young child when she meets Eskel and she is very terrified of him and intimidated. Which makes sense, she is very traumatized. But, when Triss meets Eskel she only makes a short note of his scar and focuses more on his resemblance to Geralt and commenting on the lack of politeness. It just goes to show how different characters perceive people differently. A child’s perspective of a warrior is not going to be the same as a Mage’s.

“You didn’t even know.” She nodded in what was now a calm, concerned and gentle reproach. “You’re pathetic guardians. She’s ashamed to tell you because she was taught not to mention such complaints to men. And she’s ashamed of the weakness, the pain and the fact that she is less fit. Has any one of you thought about that? Taken any interest in it? Or tried to guess what might be the matter with her? Maybe her very first bleed happened here, in Kaer Morhen? And she cried to herself at night, unable to find any sympathy, consolation or even understanding from anyone? Has any one of you given it any thought whatsoever?”

“Stop it, Triss,” moaned Geralt quietly. “That’s enough. You’ve achieved what you wanted. And maybe even more.”

“The devil take it,” cursed Coën. “We’ve turned out to be right idiots, there’s no two ways about it, eh, Vesemir, and you—”

“Silence,” growled the old witcher. “Not a word.”

It was Eskel’s behaviour which was most unlikely; he got up, approached the enchantress, bent down low, took her hand and kissed it respectfully. She swiftly withdrew her hand. Not so as to demonstrate her anger and annoyance but to break the pleasant, piercing vibration triggered by the witcher’s touch. Eskel emanated powerfully. More powerfully than Geralt.

“Triss,” he said, rubbing the hideous scar on his cheek with embarrassment, “help us. We ask you. Help us, Triss.”

Now, if you can’t tell, Triss’ favorite is Eskel. This scene is also implies that Eskel is more magically powerful than Geralt which Is very interesting. But Triss is an Eskel stan, in fact a couple lines later Triss thinks to herself:

Vesemir hawked again. But Eskel, dear Eskel, kept his head and once more behaved as was fitting.

“Of course,” he said casually, smiling. “We understand and clearly we will postpone your exercises until your indisposition has passed. We will also cut the theory short and, if you feel unwell, we will put it aside for the time being, too. If you need any medication or—”

Eskel definitely has the older sibling energy where he ends up in charge sometimes and knows how to keep a cool head. He’s also the most aware of societal norms of behavior which is why Triss likes his so much. She really respects people who know how to move in society.

There’s also this scene in Blood of Elves where Eskel is drinking and offers Triss some:

“White Seagull.”

“What?”

“A mild remedy,” Eskel smiled, “for pleasant dreams.”

“Damn it! A witcher hallucinogenic? That’s why your eyes shine like that in the evenings!”

“White Seagull is very gentle. It’s Black Seagull that is hallucinogenic.”

“If there’s magic in this liquid I’m not allowed to take it!”

“Exclusively natural ingredients,” Geralt reassured her but he looked, she noticed, disconcerted. He was clearly afraid she would question them about the elixir’s ingredients. “And diluted with a great deal of water. We would not offer you anything that could harm you.”

I think it’s very funny how secret The Witcher keeps all their potions and elixirs. Whether it’s mushrooms or potions, they gotta keep those secret drugs locked down tight. Also the fact that Eskel is the fantasy equivalent of high every night? Love that for him.

Eskel really is the peace-maker of the group. He’s not a push-over by any means but he is definitely more willing to play along that any of the others. When Triss is talking at night, Eskel is really the only one listening and engaging, even if it’s very half-hearted.

In the evenings, consistently and determinedly, Triss guided the long conversations held in the dark hall, lit only by the bursts of flames in the great hearth, towards politics. The witchers’ reactions were always the same. Geralt, a hand on his forehead, did not say a word.

Vesemir nodded, from time to time throwing in comments which amounted to little more than that “in his day” everything had been better, more logical, more honest and healthier.

Eskel pretended to be polite, and neither smiled nor made eye contact, and even managed, very occasionally, to be interested in some issue or question of little importance. Coën yawned openly and looked at the ceiling, and Lambert did nothing to hide his disdain.

And he is really the only sort-of listener to Triss’ stories and retellings of events:

This time it was Triss who began to yawn and stare at the ceiling. This time she was the one who remained silent – until Eskel turned to her with a question. A question which she had anticipated.

“And what is it really like in the south, on the Yaruga? Is it worth going there? We wouldn’t like to find ourselves in the middle of any trouble.”

“What do you mean by trouble?”

“Well, you know…” he stammered, “you keep telling us about the possibility of a new war… About constant fighting on the borders, about rebellions in the lands invaded by Nilfgaard. You said they’re saying the Nilfgaardians might cross the Yaruga again—”

“So what?” said Lambert. “They’ve been hitting, killing and striking against each other constantly for hundreds of years. It’s nothing to worry about. I’ve already decided – I’m going to the far South, to Sodden, Mahakam and Angren. It’s well known that monsters abound wherever armies have passed. The most money is always made in places like that.”

“True,” Coën acknowledged. “The neighbourhood grows deserted, only women who can’t fend for themselves remain in the villages… scores of children with no home or care, roaming around… Easy prey attracts monsters.”

“And the lord barons and village elders,” added Eskel, “have their heads full of the war and don’t have the time to defend their subjects. They have to hire us. It’s true. But from what Triss has been telling us all these evenings, it seems the conflict with Nilfgaard is more serious than that, not just some local little war. Is that right, Triss?”

Once more, Eskel is the peace-maker of the conversation and he brings it back around to what Triss originally said and also points to her expertise. Basically, Eskel is not really a fan of verbal conflict.

This is actually the last line we see Eskel in a scene outside of the flashback in Lady of the Lake. After this, Triss, Geralt and Ciri head off. It is important to note that near the end of Blood of Elves Ciri says this about Yennefer:

The lady magician knew a surprising amount about a witcher’s sword and “dance.” She knew a great deal about the secrets of Kaer Morhen; there was no doubt she had visited the Keep. She knew Vesemir and Eskel. Although not Lambert and Coën.

Yennefer used to visit Kaer Morhen. Ciri guessed why – when they spoke of the Keep – the eyes of the enchantress grew warm, lost their angry gleam and their cold, indifferent, wise depth. If the words had befitted Yennefer’s person, Ciri would have called her dreamy, lost in memories.

So clearly Yennefer is also friendly with Eskel and knows him. I love the idea that Yennefer regularly visited Kaer Morhen before Ciri came into Geralt’s care and I would literally cry if they did a flashback sequence in S2 of Yennefer visiting Geralt in Kaer Morhen.

The flashback sequence in Lady of the Lake with Eskel goes like this:

The fire in the huge fireplace went out. A gust of wind from the mountains whistled through the crevices of the walls and screamed through the improperly closed shutters of Kaer Morhen, Home of the Witchers.

“Damn it!” Eskel said, standing up and going to the cupboard. “Seagull or vodka?”

“Vodka,” Geralt and Coen said with one voice.

“Sure,” interjected Vesemir, hidden in the shadows, “Yes, of course! Drown your stupidity in vodka. Damn fools!”

“It was an accident…” muttered Lambert. “She had already mastered the comb…”

“Shut your big mouth, you idiot! I don’t want to hear any more! I warned you, if something happened to that little girl…”

“Enough,” Coen interrupted him, softly. “She sleeps peacefully. Deep and healthy. She will wake up a bit sore, but that’s it. About the trance, and what happened, she will not even remember it.”

“As long as you remember,” said Vesemir, panting angrily. “Cabbage heads! Pour for me too, Eskel.”

They were silent for a long time, listening intently to the howling gale.

“We will need to call someone,” Eskel finally said. “We will need to bring a sorcerer here. What is happening to the girl, it is not normal.”

Eskel is one of The Witcher who really pushes to call Triss in order to help with Ciri’s trances. Also, once again this guy is hitting the drinks.

So yeah! That’s Eskel in the books. Based on how in the non-canon wedding short Asaps wrote where he ended up having Triss and Eskel get together, I think his hints of them having a connection in the books is very intentional and if The Witcher wasn’t such a god damn tragedy and Triss wasn’t mooning over Geralt, I’m willing to bet they would have gotten together at some point.

Eskel is the peace-maker of the family and is the best at recognizing the norms of “polite society” (or at least noble society) and while Ciri might have been scared of his appearance, it isn’t enough to phase Triss who is considered rather vain. In fact, she seems to respect Eskel the most out of the Witchers. Just imagine a dark-haired, scarred Geralt and BOOM, you got yourself an Eskel.

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heejinnien · 4 years

Text

bts | roses chapter two

word count: 1.8k words

pairing: bts x reader

synopsis: y/n is a member of the seoul behavioral analysis unit. usually, she’s the cat in the typical game of cat and mouse played with the criminals they catch, but when a mysterious string of murders has her on edge, she discovers she’s caught the attention of one of a dangerous criminal — and he’s determined to make her pay for it.

or, not all attention is the good kind.

genre: horror, angst

warnings: yandere themes, descriptions of gore, descriptions of violence, murder, the reader carries a gun because they need to defend themself against bad guys, guns, manipulation, victim blaming, this is overall just a very dark fic

author’s note: i’m sorry this isn’t as long as the other chapters but when i cut the fic into different parts i didn’t split it evenly sksks. like before, the “terms used throughout this fic” section of the masterlist was updated to include terms in this chapter. if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to shoot me an ask or dm, or just let me know your thoughts! i would be happy to explain things to you, and i would also love to hear your feedback or who you think is suspicious. as always, adhere to the warnings and do not read if any of those things trigger you.

roses masterlist

“Are you sure you didn’t see anyone?”

Hoseok sits beside you as officers swarm the small hotel room and the hallway outside it, dusting for fingerprints, searching for any traces of the person who left the letter outside your room.

“No, I didn’t,” you reply, twisting your hands anxiously. “They knocked and I spilled some of my dinner, and by the time I cleaned it up and got to the door the hallway was empty.”

Hoseok nods, thoughtful. “We’ll get the hotel to pull up security footage.”

You both sit in silence, your thoughts swarming. You hope that Hoseok doesn’t ask why you spilled your food. Even though you know he won’t judge you, you still feel the need to present yourself as unphased by this case as the rest of your team. Admitting that you were startled because you had been so wrapped up in sentimentality would be a sign of weakness, and as a female NIS agent you know you can’t afford to show any of it.

“Where’s Namjoon?” You finally ask, voice cutting through the awkward silence that had settled around you.

“He’s back at the station already, adding this to the case notes.”

“You let him know what was happening?” You ask.

Hoseok had been the first to burst down your door, his room sharing a wall with yours and your voice having pierced through the thin wood. The rest of your team followed shortly after, local law enforcement arriving moments after that to process the scene.

“Jin did, he’s in the hallway now.” Hoseok jerks his head in the direction of the open door. Just around the corner of what you can see is where you assume Jin is. If you strain, you can hear his voice, speaking rapidly as he barks out orders to the officers around him.

You nod, bouncing your leg anxiously.

“Hey, it’ll be okay, Y/N,” Hoseok murmurs, giving you a gentle smile and leaning forward to hug you. He wraps his arms around you, enveloping you in his warmth and the soothing comfort he provides. “We’ll catch the criminal, just like we always do.”

You both remain like this for a moment before you pull away. “I’m okay, really,” you say, flashing Hoseok a smile that you hope is more reassuring than you sound. You force the fear and anxiety twisting inside you aside, refusing to let Hoseok see how shaken up you are.

As if sensing this, Hoseok searches your gaze. You force yourself to remain still, forcing the emotions that Hoseok will expect to see into your expression. Collectedness. Unbotheredness.

Hoseok hums as he drags his eyes away from yours, pushing himself to his feet.

“Well, I’m glad you’re okay, Y/N,” he says after another moment of pause.

He smiles again, but this time something dark flashes across his gaze. It passes so quickly you’re sure that with your paranoia you imagined it, and you ignore the way Hoseok’s words settle wrongly in your gut, the way that nothing feels right anymore.

“Detective Yeosang.”

You nod your head in greeting at the new detective, quickly shaking his hand and observing the empty lot around you. You cock your head to the side as you snap on a pair of blue gloves, raking your gaze over the Incheon detective.

“Where’s Detective Jaehyun?”

Yeosang gives you a tight smile, voice strained as he says, “Detective Jaehyun was removed from the case this morning for hindering an official investigation. SSA Namjoon was kind enough not to press federal charges against him, but he was still removed.”

You arch an eyebrow at the news, mildly surprised. You hadn’t been informed Jaehyun was taken off the case when your team had assembled that morning, Namjoon assigning everyone a task for the day. You wrack your brain, attempting to remember if you had seen the detective at all that morning, but you come up dry.

“What do you have on the vic?”

Your partner Jin’s voice pushes you out of your thoughts and you force yourself back to the present, returning to your mental crime scene analysis.

“The victim was found around eight this morning by a delivery truck who usually drops food off for one of the local bakeries.”

Yeosang motions for you and Jin to follow him and you do, trailing the detective as he leads you to a narrow brick alley at the edge of the lot. He steps to the side as you and Jin study the alley. The familiar scent of copper and rose makes your throat dry as your mind flashes back to your hotel room, but you close your eyes and exhale, forcing your pulse to slow down and pushing the memory into the recesses of your mind.

“There are more stab wounds than last time,” Jin points out, pointing to the victim’s chest and thighs. “The amount of blood signifies she was killed here.” Jin points to the victim’s head. “Their hair isn’t even black.”

“So the unsub is devolving,” you muse aloud. “Someone or something must have triggered him.”

Jin hums in agreement. “With how deep the stab wounds are, you would almost think that this was a different unsub than the other crimes.”

“What do you mean?” Yeosang asks, frowning. “We have two killers on our hands?”

“Doubtful,” you answer. “When an unsub devolves, they grow sloppier, leaving behind evidence they usually wouldn’t have or changing parts of their MO. In this case, the stabbing and rose are consistent, but the finer details such as the lamb’s blood are missing.”

“What would cause something like that?” Yeosang says, voice raising slightly.

“Maybe something in the unsub’s life went wrong,” Jin suggests, standing and crossing his arms. “A rejection, a loss, maybe. This means that they’ll be sloppier and keep leaving clues that hopefully we can trace back to them.”

“So we just have to wait for him to keep killing until he leads us to him?” Yeosang demands, disbelief and frustration evident in his tone.

“Of course not,” Jin says evenly, despite Yeosang’s rising hysteria. “If you detectives were so worried about the lives of your people, maybe you should have shared all of the evidence in the case with us from early on.”

“That was Detective Jaehyun’s call, not mine,” Yeosang grits out, hands clenched into fists. “I don’t appreciate what you’re implying, Agent Seokjin.”

“I’m not implying anything.”

Jin’s face is cold, tone apathetic as he addresses Yeosang. He arches an eyebrow coldly, continuing, “I’m just saying that maybe if the NIS had all of the facts for this case, we might have been able to find something by now.”

Yeosang sputters, and Jin turns away, already refocusing his attention back on the body. You give the steaming detective a sympathetic smile, bending to pick up the flower resting in the victim’s hands when your skin pricks as though it has been stabbed by the rose’s thorns. You immediately stand and whirl around, but aside from familiar police vehicles and officers, you are met with nothing. Yeosang gives you a questioning look, and you wave your hand dismissively. After another scan of the lot you turn back towards Jin, ignoring his concerned look.

Despite this, you can’t shake the feeling of being watched.

“Y/N.”

“Namjoon.” You nod at your team’s leader as you pull out a plastic office chair, settling across from the aforementioned man.

“How are you feeling?”

“Okay,” you admit, rubbing your hands against your legs soothingly. “A little spooked, but this isn’t the first time one of us has received a note from one of our unsubs.”

“That’s true,” Namjoon muses. He spins in his chair slowly, twisting enough that you hear the creak of his chair but not enough that his body ever completely turns away from you. He steeples his hands on the mahogany desk in front of him, case files spread across the wooden surface haphazardly.

After a moment, you clear your throat. “I heard that you forced Detective Jaehyun off of this case.”

“I did,” Namjoon says slowly. “He was withholding information from this investigation.”

“I see,” you say, throat dry. Your body fills with nervous energy as you contemplate what to say. Namjoon speaks before you do.

“I was speaking with some of the other BAU members, and we’ve all agreed that the unsub seems to be targeting you.” Namjoon smiles, but it’s devoid of any friendliness. “I’m sure you’ve thought of it by now, right?”

You nod, unable to force yourself to speak, and Namjoon continues. “The NIS Director caught word of the note that was sent to you last night, and he wants you off the case. Conflict of personal interest, he said.”

“If this is about my ability to handle this case, I assure you that I can — ” You say quickly.

“I know.” Namjoon says, holding up his hand and effectively silencing your protests. “Which is why I’m not taking you off this case. But going forward we’re going to need to be honest with each other, okay?”

Somehow, you know that Namjoon is speaking on a level that transcends your current conversation. With a growing sense of dread, you are aware that Namjoon knows that Jaehyun had told you about the notes. You briefly wonder how he knows, if Jaehyun ratted you out. You clench your fists, waiting for a reprimand similar to the one Namjoon most likely gave Jaehyun for not telling your team leader earlier.

It never comes.

You stare at Namjoon silently, unsure of what to say. Seconds stretch on between you. Finally you find strength within you to nod, and Namjoon smiles sharply.

“Good. Now tell me what you and Jin found at the crime scene earlier.”

You stare at the case files, your eyes drooping.

The rest of your team left long ago, hushed whispers and a few worried glances thrown your way. You ignored them, choosing instead to concentrate on the pictures of victims in front of you until your eyes burned tiredly. No matter how much you tried, you couldn’t come up with anything linking the unsub to the victims. You feel so small, so unsure, and this makes everything you had been feeling towards the case worse.

Finally, you sigh, standing and gathering your things. You grab your phone, groaning as the time is reflected on the screen. It’s too late to hail a cab, the method of transportation you had assured the rest of your team you could use to get back to the hotel when they had left earlier.

You idly scroll through your phone’s app store, looking for a rideshare app that you can use to get back to your hotel and pushing open the precinct’s glass doors when your foot collides with something solid. You try to steady yourself, but it’s too late.

Your hands find purchase with something warm and sticky, and it takes a moment for you to gain your bearings. When you do, your eyes land on a foot. Your eyes follow it to a leg, and then up, up, and when your eyes finally focus on the owner of the foot you scream.

It’s Taehyung.

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winterscaptain · 4 years

Text

constellations.

Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader

a/n: as usual, an ajf fic that requires very little context. i’m so sorry this took so long!! i was busy thinking about how to quit my job this week and then KIRA CAME TO VISIT ME (we’re being safe and covid-conscious!) so this took a couple of days longer than expected. also - i see your beautiful messages! i will keep chipping away at them :)

you can expect the route 66 fic on tuesday at 11pm pdt!

words: 4.4k warnings: canon-typical discussions of violence, some mention of canon-typical sexual assault, language

summary: as hotch recovers from the explosion in new york, you find yourself more concerned than you expected. (au!2008)

masterlist | a joyful future master list | requests closed!

“The Angel Maker. I remember the case.”

It’s a fairly normal start to the week, with a case packed and ready for you at 10am. Aaron was out of the field for a week or so with his injuries, but his presence at the round table and the go bag you spotted beside his desk this morning warms you.

He’s back. Not completely, but that’s better than not at all.

“They caught that guy.” Reid’s flipping through the case file, but you know he’s got one ear open.

Rossi’s on the same page, and finishes Reid’s thought. “And executed him.”

“That’s right,” JJ says. “He was put to death by lethal injection a year ago yesterday.”

You release a little breath you were holding. “Yesterday?”

That’s a clear enough trigger for a fanatic. It wasn’t the first time you’d seen something like this, either with your tenure at the BAU or in previous case studies at the academy. It was always a little shocking - the lengths people go to complete the work of the devil they romanticize...

Derek throws a finger at you as if to say Exactly. “So we’re looking for a copycat.”

“Honoring the anniversary of his hero’s death.” Dave sits back in his chair, almost satisfied. You smile a little.

The confidence of a seasoned profiler.

Aaron catches your smile, and his lips pull just the barest amount. You shake your head, suppressing a wider grin.

Funny, isn’t it?

His brows tug. What?

It’s so...normal. And so predictable. You sit back, peering at Aaron over your copy of the file. He huffs (you recognize it as a laugh, though the rest of his face remains exactly the same) and turns his attention toward Reid, who’s still flipping through the file.

“It says here they found semen at the crime scene. Perhaps locals will get a DNA match through VICAP?” When you follow Aaron’s gaze to Spencer, you’re not surprised to see him already absorbed in the latter half of the report.

“See, that’s where things get weird.” Her face screws up. “They already ran it, and got a match.” She throws the file toward you, and you open it.

“If they already have a name, why’d they call us?” Emily’s confusion is swallowed up in your own.

“You’ve got to be kidding.” You look over at Hotch, who takes the file from your hands. “The match they got back on the DNA is to Courtland Bryce Ryan -”

Hotch lets out a sharp huff. “The Angel Maker.” You meet his gaze again.

This is going to be a weird one.

“Wheels up in thirty.”

+++

You lean against the back of Hotch’s chair, peering over his shoulder as ideas bounce around the cabin. He’s focused on Reid along with the rest of you as the younger agent spins a theory.

Derek’s the first one to question his particularly amusing line of thought. “Reid, you’re not seriously floating the idea of an evil twin, are you?”

“No. I’m floating the idea of an eviler twin.” Reid looks dead serious, and Hotch glances up at you. You shake your head a little, and he shrugs before restoring his attention. “Traditionally the concept is good twin and an evil twin. But in this case, it’s evil twin, eviler twin.”

You swallow a laugh as both Derek and Emily look at him like he’s grown three extra heads all at once.

Before any of you can say anything, Aaron’s hand rises to his forehead and his face scrunches up in pain. You place a hand on his shoulder from over the seat, patting him for his attention. “Hotch?”

He hums something that sounds like, “Yeah?”

“Are you cleared to fly?”

He sucks in a breath to cover a wince, and you take that as a no.

You sink your hands into his hair as he tips his head back against the seat with his eyes closed. The tips of your fingers find the little pressure points around his head, and you lean forward, keeping your voice soft. “Does that help?”

He nods, just a little, and you’re satisfied. You look at Derek over Hotch’s head, and he looks just as concerned as you feel.

+++

“I give you a legacy. A breath of life from the Angel Maker himself. Those who prayed to forget me will one day see my face and shrink in fear.” Reid recites aloud from the letter, and you listen with your head propped on your hand.

The sheriff sighs and crosses his arms. “That’s the last thing people need right now.”

“Reid, how does that compare with the original correspondence?” Derek ignores the sheriff, redirecting his attention to the letter and the genius holding it.

You jump on Derek’s line of thinking. “It can’t be authentic, can it?” You drop your hand from your chin and lean toward Spencer, feeling Aaron hover over your shoulder.

“They share some compelling characteristics. I’d obviously like to look at it under a magnification under a better light…”

Obviously.

Hotch’s voice almost startles you, right by your ear. “Best guess, Reid?”

“I’d say it’s authentic.” Rather than looking at Hotch, he looks at you. Your furrowed brow speaks for everyone present.

“How can it be authentic if the guy’s been dead for over a year?” Looking over at Hotch, you hope he has something better than paranormal speculation.

He doesn’t disappoint. “It could be an elaborate forgery.”

“Or,” Reid adds, “it could be a genuine article, just written before his death.”

You hum. “That's my favorite of the theories so far.”

The sheriff shakes his head, coming up on your other side. It’s almost comical the way you’re all crowded around the letter. “Mail here isn’t that slow.”

Derek’s the only one who hasn’t joined you. He’s still happily posted up at the desk, leaning against it with his arms crossed. You glance at him before offering, “Could have been released through an intermediary.”

“You mean the copycat?” Reid asks.

Nodding, you suggest, “He could be buried in those visitor logs - we’re checking them out now to see who visited Ryan and how often.”

Derek finally joins you. “That’ll narrow the suspect pool.”

Hotch flinches again and his fingers press to his brow as the front door opens, allowing the rush of a truck to sound through the room.

“Hotch?”

He waves you off. “I’m fine.”

Liar.

There’s nothing you can do.

+++

You’re with Derek in one of the interrogation rooms, going through letter upon letter from Ryan’s time in prison. “What happens if Hotch actually loses his hearing?” You can’t help the overwhelming notes of concern coloring your voice. “I mean, what are we going to say to Strauss? ‘Excuse me ma’am, if our unit chief goes deaf because he won’t fucking slow down, can he still be our unit chief?’ I mean - “

You shut your mouth as Hotch walks into the room. Shame floods through you. It was more than unkind to talk about him behind his back as it was, and here you were - broadcasting your worst fears about his condition to one of your closest mutual friends.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean -”

Aaron once again waves you off. “It’s alright.” He comes to rest beside you, and you reach for his arm in apology.

“How are you feeling?”

He shakes his head, and Derek leaves the two of you alone, closing the door behind him. Hotch looks over his shoulder, satisfied that you’re on your own.

“Dizzy. Nauseated. Tired.” It’s like a checklist - matter-of-fact and without bias.

You take stock of him. The cuts on his face are healing nicely, and the bruise on his cheek is fading. The bags under his eyes, though, betray the lack of sleep. “What can I do?”

He shakes his head with something that isn’t a smile if you don’t know him. “Nothing. Just keep doing good work.”

“I’m sorry,” you blurt. “I didn’t mean to be insensitive earlier.”

“I know.”

“I’m just worried, is all.” Your voice tapers off at the end of your thought, just a little embarrassed.

A little breath leaves his nose, and you know it’s sort of a laugh. “I know.” He presses a hand to your shoulder for a moment before diving into one of the boxes himself.

+++

Hotch walks quickly, and you keep up as best you can as he informs the sheriff, “I have to advise against this.”

“All due respect, this isn’t your town. I have to convince them that Courtland Ryan is dead and buried.”

Hotch glances back at you, and you shrug.

Small towns. Serial killers. What are you gonna do?

The cemetery is relatively quiet, the sleepy town waiting for something to happen with bated breath. It’s not like anyone would be taking late-night walks anytime soon.

His head tips, and you know he agrees. Nevertheless, he turns back toward the sheriff. “You’re indulging the killer by perpetuating the ruse he’s created.”

Nice. Five dollar words for the two-bit sheriff.

“He’s right. It may embolden him. Prompt more murders.” Emily says, watching the proceedings with a discerning eye. You can only agree.

The sheriff shakes his head. “Celia lost her only daughter to that murdering bastard. We met when I was working the case and had gotten close. I thought we were past all this, but...I guess I was kidding myself.”

The crane starts up, and there’s a sinking feeling that you’ve forgotten about something as the chains tighten and begin to lift the coffin. All at once, you remember and turn as Hotch steps away, his hand over his ear and the other pressed against his brow again.

You hover beside him, not sure what to do. Pressing your hands to his forearms, you do your best to shield him from some of the sound with your body.

He makes a weak attempt to wave you off, but his voice startles you. It’s so small as he insists, “I’m alright. I’m fine. Just -”

“Hotch -”

“I’m okay I’m okay I’m okay. Yeah.”

You don’t believe him for a second, but as the noise decreases, so does his agony. He removes his hands from his ears for a moment. He’s blinking rapidly, looking simultaneously dazed and far too aware.

“Aaron…”

He shakes his head. “Don’t. I’m fine. I’m okay.”

Your lips press into a thin line and you remove your hands from his arms. “Take it easy. I can’t make your life hell if you can’t hear me, alright?”

Your teasing has the intended effect, and he levels you with his signature glare that’s only halfway playful.

+++

“The victim is Maxine Chandler. The neighbors say she’s lived here her whole life. All twenty-eight years of it.”

The house is infused with the presence of children - play structures, toys, the whole nine. Aaron voices your thoughts. “How many kids does she have?”

“None of her own. She runs a daycare. The guy who called 911 came here to drop off his toddler and found Maxine in her bedroom.”

That’s an eventful morning.

“Well,” you note, “now that we have more than one victim, we can compare victimology.”

Hotch nods, and you meet his eyes for a moment. “Different data points should help us significantly narrow the profile.”

“I’ll get JJ to bring us the files on the first victim.” Morgan says, his phone already in his hand.

“What did you find?”

The coroner runs you through his findings, and they’re not much different from the first murder, but there is one notable difference.

“Nine puncture wounds,” Emily notes, her dark eyes roaming over the body.

You’re close to Hotch, watching them bounce off each other. It’s always inspiring to watch them. As close as you and Aaron are, you were deeply impressed but his professional relationship with Emily. There’s part of you that chalks it up to your age - they are only two years apart. They form their own little age bracket on the team while you, JJ, and Spencer make up the younger strata.

More often than not, the three of you were able to keep up with each other just like Emily and Aaron.

“Can I have your pen?” Emily asks.

“Yeah.” Hotch pulls the pen from his inside pocket, handing it over into her eager hands. “What is it?”

You wait as she doodles something into her notepad before her head whips up. “She did this.”

“What do you mean?” You’re not following, and you can tell Hotch isn’t either.

“The unsub. She made this before she made the puncture wounds.”

Hotch tips his chin, understanding. “That’s why the coroner found paper in the wounds.”

“It was a template. The Angel Maker did it from memory, but she needed a guide to get it right.”

You pull your phone out, already dialing Reid as Hotch says. “We need to go back and re-examine each of the patterns. Where’s Reid?”

“Spence. Hey. We have something for you.” You pass the phone and a little smile to Hotch, who takes both with a grateful look.

Emily watches the exchange, feeling suddenly like an outsider - almost an intruder. There’s something between you two, always has been, but this moment is such a clean-cut outline of it. You’re constantly anticipating the needs of the other, ready with a warmth and fondness at a moment’s notice.

She sees it again when he presses your phone back into your waiting hand. You take it and brush past him as he turns over his shoulder to follow you out the door. It almost looks choreographed. In fairness, you’d both done it what feels like thousands of times before.

When you pause in the living room, both turning at the same time when Derek calls for Hotch, a shadow of a thought crosses her mind. It’s gone before it’s truly there, and she lets it go.

+++

Reid’s finally cracked it, and you’re all crowded around him again as he explains what he’s found. He profiled the author, figured out the cypher used by the Aryan Brotherhood, and generally made use of his insane brain. The patterns themselves are constellations, woven into every aspect of their relationship.

You find a smile breaking out over your face as you listen to Spencer spin. Hotch leans over and whispers, “He hasn’t let loose in a while, has he?” You’re standing on his left, of course, just in case.

Shaking your head, you laugh a little. Emily’s looking at Spencer like he’s from another planet. She pokes him and voices the thought you’ve all had at least once. “He’s so lifelike.”

Her comment gets a laugh out of you and a smile out of Aaron. You’re warmed by it.

+++

You clear and search Chloe Kelcher’s house, staying firmly attached to Aaron’s seven o’clock position, right off his left shoulder.

“Alright. We all know what the endgame is. She’s looking for her final victim. She may have already chosen one.” Hotch looks around, suggesting assignments with the flicker of his eyes around the house. “Let’s tear this place apart, look for anything that might tell us who she’s targeted.”

You follow Hotch and Derek into the nursery, noting the stars on the ceiling. The crib captures your attention - the carefully placed onesie indicating the pain of a woman in denial. Your brow crumples, and Aaron steps up beside you, nudging a couple of stuffed animals out of the way as a cursory search.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, just...thinking.” The trigger is as clear as a neon sign, and you’re sure much saner people would break down like this at the loss of a child. There’s a silent prompting as he stands beside you, waiting for you to elaborate. “I dunno. I can just see how someone close to reasonable would be in bad enough shape after something like this, not to mention someone as unstable as our unsub.”

He sighs. “It must have devastated her to think that she could hold on to Ryan by having his child and then lose the baby.”

Derek hums from across the room, joining the conversation. “Completing his murders became the only way she could hold onto him.”

Something strikes Aaron then - something intangible. He turns and opens the trunk in the corner of the room. Its contents pull your upper lip up in disgust.

With a dubious pair of eyebrows, Aaron notes, “Not the only way.”

“Guess that answers that.”

+++

You reach the final victim’s house, and you can only hope you’ve made it in time. Hotch immediately assumes authority, leading collaboration between the BAU and local law enforcement. He assigns Derek to find an opening into the house, while he directs the sheriff to bring all the cars to the front, no lights.

He finds a megaphone for Emily, and you take your place at his left side, crouched to take the low firing point through the car’s open window.

“Hit the lights,” he directs, and they do.

All at once, it’s bright - nearly daylight. Emily starts talking, and you’re singularly focused on the front of the house. The windows, the door, and the curtains are all within your purview. You glance up at Hotch, who glances down at you. He unholsters his weapon, and you bump his hip with your elbow and return your attention to the front of the house

“Go into the pouch next to my extra magazines.”

You can sense rather than see his frown.

“Just trust me. Open it.”

His left hand finds your belt while he continues to scan the area, unclipping the pouch without looking. You hear a huff of laughter as he finds what you left for him.

“Put one in your right ear and don’t argue with me.” Your voice is still low, but you dropped into the tone you learned from him, only half-joking.

He rolls his eyes and stuffs the foam earplug in his bad ear before unholstering his weapon.

“Door,” you warn as the front screen opens.

“Chloe. Drop the gun.” Aaron’s voice is heavy with authority, and the sheriff backs him up.

The world slows down when she raises the gun toward you all, and the sheriff fires. Despite the earplug, Aaron immediately collapses, dropping his service weapon at your feet and covering his ears with his hands. You holster your weapon and turn toward him on sheer instinct.

You retrieve the gun, checking the safety and slipping it into your waistband. When you return your attention to him, he’s almost folded completely into himself, pained groans leaving him. Rossi beat you to him, half-holding him up, but he shifts Aaron to you when you reach them both.

“Aaron.” You wrap him in your arms and he takes some of his weight as his feet get back under him. He leans into you, and you do your best to support him. “Hotch, are you okay?”

He reaches out, finding your arm and gripping tight. You stay steady, almost in tears. It’s agonizing to see him in pain.

“I’m okay. I’m okay.”

Liar.

+++

The next day, it’s decided he’ll drive one of the cars home, instead of taking the plane.

You laugh as Derek throws the keys at Spencer. Hotch steps up beside you, throwing his go bag in one of the cars. Going out on a bit of a limb, you ask, “Want any company?” You keep your voice low, just in case anyone’s listening.

First of all, you don’t want to out yourself in front of your colleagues - they all know how much you care about him and you don’t want them getting any ideas. Second of all, you know how Hotch gets when he’s alone too long.

He raises his eyebrows for a second, but Dave interrupts his thought before he can share it with you. “Why don’t you two drive together? It’ll be a better trip with some company and you can’t stand the rest of us for more than three hours at a time.”

Hotch snorts. “Fine.” He looks over at you and you shrug and throw your go bag in the backseat with his.

“I’m good with that. What are you thinkin’? Straight through, or are we taking a the scenic route?”

Dave pipes in again. “I think a couple of days could do you both some good. It’s been a long few weeks.”

You and Hotch look at each other. You look back at Dave. “Good idea. See you Tuesday?”

He nods and joins the rest of the team in the other car, slipping into the passenger seat.

+++

The car is quiet for the first half hour or so. You’re driving - it’s the only way Aaron can hear you in the car, so you’ll probably nap or post up in the backseat when it’s his turn to take the wheel.

You glance over at him before you hit the state line. “You’re thinking very loudly over there.”

A smile pulls at his lips. The heel of his hand supports his cheekbone as his elbow rests on the window ledge. “Am I?”

“Mhmm.”

He shrugs a little. “It’s weird not driving.”

“Ah. So that’s why you’ve been silent for the last…” you check the clock on the dash, “thirty nine minutes.” You’re teasing him and he knows it, but it’s also loaded with questions.

There’s silence, and you wait for him. It’s another thing you’ve learned about him in the last year. Sometimes he’s quiet, but he never avoids you for long.

“I’m thinking about Kate.”

There he is.

You prompt him a little, intrinsically knowing he needs a direction. “Did she have family?”

He nods. “An older sister. She’s flying in from London for the service, but their parents are gone and she wasn’t married, so...that’s it.”

Still looking at the road, you reach out, wrapping your fingers around his forearm. “I’m so sorry, Aaron.”

His hand covers yours for a second. “Thanks.”

You pull back, adjusting your grip on the wheel. A question pushes at your lips, but you roll it around in your head before you really consider asking it aloud.

“You can ask.”

Your head whips toward him for just a moment. “What?”

“You can ask,” he repeats, the shadow of a smile crossing his face. “I know you want to.”

You concede with a little chuff. “Fine. What happened between you and Kate?”

“In what sense?” He’s totally fucking with you, and you shove at his shoulder.

“You know exactly what I mean.”

He shakes his head. “Alright, fine. There was…” he searches, “a moment when she and I were finished working together on the Scotland Yard case that something...happened.”

“Something?”

“Well,” he amends, “nothing actually happened, but let’s just say she had a couple too many and made her intentions very clear.”

Can’t blame her for that one.

Yeah, and that’s why we don’t get drunk with everyone else. Shit happens.

You glanced at him, suppressing a smile. “So what happened?”

He shakes his head, and there’s a sort of dry humor in his voice when he answers,“Obviously, she was pretty out of it, so I took her back to her place and made sure she was settled for the night with a glass of water and some aspirin.” A smile cuts through his huff of laughter. You’re not surprised to hear mourning in it, too. “She was miserable in the morning, and called me to ask what happened the night before. I may have...very loosely implied that something small might have happened, just to save her the embarrassment.”

He pauses, and you know he’s a little reluctant to be this vulnerable - you’re almost sure he never expected to tell this story to anyone, let alone you.

“The attraction was mutual, so I didn’t feel too bad about omitting the consequences of her…” he searches for a word again, “forwardness. It was - is - something I respect about her both personally and professionally.”

“Did you ever tell Haley?”

He shook his head. “I told her the truth - that she needed some help getting home, I set her up for the night, and came right back. She wasn’t thrilled, but she and Kate got on well enough that she didn’t mind too much. I think she was more annoyed that I got home so late even without a case, now that I’m thinking about it.”

You laugh a little. “That sounds like her.”

“She wasn't always like this, you know.” His voice takes on something a little more pensive, and you settle deeper into your seat to let him know you’re listening, even if your eyes hardly stray from the road. “We had a ridiculous amount of fun together when we were younger - first married, I was fresh out of law school, everything ahead of us, and all that.” He heaves a sigh. “It’s really only since Jack was born that things got...bad.”

He pauses, thinking for a moment. “I wish I could explain the work to her - I sometimes wish she could see it, even though I never actually want her to see the things we see every day.”

You keep your voice light, understanding. “I get that. It can’t be easy knowing that we’re your family, too, and even that’s difficult to explain.”

There’s silence, and you know there’s a tacit agreement in it.

His next comment comes a little from left field, but it makes you smile. “She likes you, by the way. She really does.”

“Good.” You glance over at him. “I’m glad.”

There’s something he wants to say, and you raise your eyebrows expectantly, knowing he can see it in your profile.

“Would you want to come over sometime and spend some time with Jack? I -” he exhales, and tries again. “It’s sometimes...weird to have him all to myself.” He laughs a little. “I almost don’t know what to do with him all day when it’s just the two of us.”

A real smile breaks across your face. “I’d love to.”

He nods, satisfied with himself. “It’ll be nice for Haley to see you as well. I know she feels a little cut off these days.”

“Understandable.”

Another bout of silence fills the car. It’s comfortable. Safe.

“Thank you,” he says, after a long while.

You look over, letting your eyes wander down his profile for a moment. “Of course.”

+++

You stay at a little motel off the highway, pulling over after about four hours on the road. It’s only a little ways back to Fairfax, where you’ll drop him off at home before returning the car to Quantico, but Rossi’s right - it’s nice to take some time.

In two separate double beds across the room from each other, you wish each other good night in the dark.

+++

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#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner #hotch x reader #hotch #aaron hotchner imagine #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds #tali writes fanfiction #tali talks cm #a joyful future #a joyful future fanfic

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filmista · 3 years

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Vertigo (1958)

“Here I was born, and there I died. It was only a moment for you; you took no notice.”

Alfred Hitchcock was generally a no-nonsense man who, when interviewed about his work, kept on talking about plot and audience manipulation: how do I keep the audience in suspense with a good story? Intellectual, thematic discussions of his own work were largely foreign to him, but of course that doesn’t mean that those themes were not there.

Fear of the irrational, a perverted sexuality and obsessive thoughts were just a few of his hobbyhorses, which, consciously or otherwise, popped up again and again. And that may never have been more the case than in "Vertigo," his most personal and complex film.

At the time, the film didn’t receive good reviews and the public wasn’t interested either, but over the years its reputation grew, until it was routinely included in lists of the greatest films of all time. Most Hitchcock films show the director as a professional. "Vertigo" shows him as an artist.

James Stewart plays John "Scottie" Ferguson, a police inspector who sees a colleague jump off a rooftop. Physically injured and mentally traumatised he decides to say goodbye to old job, only to be hired as a private investigator shortly after by his old school friend Gavin Elster (Tom Helmore). Gavin's wife Madeleine’s (the unforgettable Kim Novak) behaviour becomes increasingly absent, she makes long journeys through the city and speaks increasingly about death and suicide.

Scottie starts to follow here and slowly but surely he discovers that Madeleine believes she is possessed by the ghost of Carlotta Valdes, a woman who died tragically many years before. He also discovers that he fell in love, perhaps for the first time. Scottie becomes dangerously obsessed with Madeleine.

And that romantic-erotic obsession is an immediately important theme of "Vertigo". Basically this is a movie about people in love with people they can’t be with. Scottie falls for Madeleine, who - beyond the fact that she’s the wife of his friend - also lives under the delusion that she is possessed by the ghost of a dead person.

Meanwhile, Midge (Barbara Bel Geddes), a friend of Scottie’s is in love with him, without Scottie seeming to realise it or feeling the need to correspond that love. The characters are frustrated from the start, and the events in the film only serve to trigger those frustrations to a critical.

Madeleine kills herself by jumping from a church tower. Scottie's fear of heights prevents him from stopping her, and afterwards he stays behind with a sky-high sense of guilt. several months later he meets Judy (again Novak), who bears an eerie physical resemblance to Madeleine. He talks to her and as the two enter into a relationship he purposefully changes her appearance to that of Madeleine (clothes, haircut, and so on).

He uses Judy as blank canvas on which to bring Madeleine back to life, and she allows that. Why? Because Judy was hired by Gavin to frame Scottie. Gavin killed his wife and threw her body down from the tower.

Scottie's story made that no one would have trouble accepting the suicide. Undercover Judy, however, really falls in love with Scottie. Which immediately causes the third unrequited love in the movie - Scottie doesn't feel anything for Judy, he was in love with Madeleine, with the fictional creation Judy and Gavin had made for him. With which Hitchcock reintroduced a time-honoured question: when we fall in love with someone, do we feel affection for that person themselves, or for the image we’ve imagined of that person.

That was a very personal theme for Hitchcock. He was himself Married for more than 50 years to his wife Alma Reville, but his movies are packed with icy blondes who in most of his stories who in most of his work have to endure at least one scene of mental humiliation or physical pain. From his work speaks a very ambiguous attitude towards women, and in "Vertigo” director decides to study that for the first time, on a psychologically profound level.

After all, what else does a director do other than fill the actress’s empty canvas with the behaviours and appearance that he himself has in mind to make his film? Judy / Madeleine is dominated by two men in the movie (or, if you like, directed): first off camera by Gavin, then by Scottie. In who she herself is, neither gentlemen are interested.

Visually, "Vertigo" is probably Hitchcock's most ambitious film, in the sense that there is a strong symbolism throughout the film.With important roles for the colors green, red, yellow and blue. Green is continuously associated with Madeleine, her green dress when we first see her, her green car to the natural green that often surrounds them. Why specifically that color?

Green is traditionally the color of jealousy, and further it provides a kind of traffic light contrast with the red identifying Scottie: just look at his red ties, his red front door and the bright red interior of his favourite restaurant, where some important scenes take place.

Scottie is someone who until he meets Madeleine, keeps romantic feelings at bay as much as possible: he pretends he doesn’t understand Midge’s advances, has never married and prefers to be so.

He is a rational man, who rejects everything that threatens his rational, carefully demarcated world (including powerful emotions such as love). When Gavin is asked at the start of the film if he believes in ghosts, he answers immediately, resolute and without thinking "no". As the story continues that certainty crumbles - as is often the case with Hitchcock, rationality disappears the life of the main character.

During a key scene in a forest, Madeleine walks away from Scottie as if in a trance, only to disappear behind a tree. Scottie stares dubiously: Where has she gone? Suddenly disappeared as the ghost she is? No, of course not, she’s standing just behind the tree, but Scottie (and the audience) are in doubt briefly.

Yellow then is the color of Midge, a safe, warm color which suggests homeliness. Her relationship with Scottie is in part love, partly motherly. And blue than reappears when the feelings of guilt of the characters returns (note Scotties bright blue suits during the second half of the film). The visual motifs of ‘Vertigo’ don’t end there - spiral forms constantly return as a visual representation of Scottie’s dizziness and then of course there's the infamous technique that Hitchcock used to zoom in while he camera physically moves backwards, which made Scotties fear of heights palpable. It's perhaps one of the most imitated shots in film history.

James Stewart had played darker roles more often than ever since the 1950s (as opposed to his overbearingly wholesome image that he acquired in the 30′s in films like ‘It’s a Wonderful Life ’and‘ Mr Smith Goes to Washington ’). He knows how to give Scottie real emotional depth, nominally the hero of the movie, but actually a mentally deeply hurt person.

His monologue at the end, in which he confronts Judy / Madeleine and his own anxiety is probably one of the best moments from his career. Kim Novak, who during the first half hour of the film has almost no lines plays the ultimate Hitchcock blonde with Madeleine: cool, distant, troubled and - for the hero at least - irresistible. The complete opposite way in she plays Judy indicates how good and varied her register as an actress was.

"Vertigo" is a slow, methodical film, especially according to current standards. It’s a film that requires patience, but one that also rewards that patience. Thematically, this is without a doubt the best film that Hitchcock has ever - not to mention his most daring - visually its his most complex and thoughtful. With "Vertigo", Hitchcock faced some of his own demons. The confrontation resulted in unforgettable cinema.

@idasessions @mad-prophet-of-the-airwaves @siobhanlovesfilm @purecinema

#back with a new movie analysis!#vertigo #50’s cinema #vertigo 1958 #alfred hitchock #kim novak #movies #films #cinema #review #film analysis #filmista

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ask-whitepearl-and-steven · 5 years

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Alright alright alright

You’ve all been asking for it, so here it is!

This will be (edit: HELLA) long and obviously spoiler-y, so everything is under a cut.

Are you ready?

Before we get to it, I want to mention that for the sake of keeping things organized, I will NOT be talking about my AU (@ask-whitepearl-and-steven) in this post. I want to just analyze the show as a viewer and a fan first. I’ll make a seperate post for AU-thoughts a bit later.

Without further ado:

EP 1: LITTLE HOMESCHOOL

This is a great way to open up the episode and show the changes through the lens of someone who has been a bit out of it for a while (we are all Cherry Quartz, fresh from the hiatus, aren’t we?) but I’m sorry, this post still takes the cake:

Okay, okay, back to the program.

“That used to be a loaded question...“

Right off the bat, Steven is SO much more confident about saying that he’s... HIMSELF! What a good feeling. I’m very proud of our boy.

I love the name “Gemglyph” for the gem language! I’ll need to know who wrote these, though. And who the heck drew the diamonds? Hopefully it was BP.

And I’m not the first one to point this out, but MORE ANIME REFERENCES!

Which can be seen as either a reference to the Chill Low-Fi Hiphop Beats to Study To OR Whisper of the Heart.

And absolutely no one cares but something that caught my eye is the fact that they have an EARTH FLAG at Little Homeschool! How cool is that!

Earth 4ever!!!

Off-note - I love how INVESTED they are in this conversation Pearl is having with Holo-Pearl.

Peak entertainment.

I love Professor Amethyst and I love the random human who snuck in to apparently take lessons on Not Giving A Single Shit About Anything, Ever.

And here we FINALLY are in the FUTURE

Where we FINALLY get Jasper as a functioning character

And

She’s

SO DRAMATIC, I LOVE HER.

This is literally SO funny like she... she was just... laying on top of her house... under a blanket..... FOr WHAT? To stand up dramatically and throw it off when Steven inevitably paid a visit?

Is that just what she dOES?

“It’s FINE I don’t need any HELP, I’m FUNCTIONING, I’m just having a SELF CARE DAY OK”

Also I’m sorry but

Jasper: “It took forever to yank those puny green earthlings out of the ground.”

Steven: “You mean grass...?“

THIS. RIGHT HERE. is peak Jasper.

It’s also curious how INVESTED Steven is in this:

“I’m TRYING to give you [a purpose]!“

Why are you... trying to do that, though? Isn’t the whole idea for gems to surpass their ‘purpose’ and just kinda... do whatever? Isn’t Jasper just kinda... doing whatever?

I mean, sure, it’s not useful to anyone, but she seems relatively happy. Aside from. You know. The whole laying on rocks under blankets until she’s disturbed thing and-- okay, you’re right, maybe an intervention would be healthy.

I’m not gonna talk at length about the rest of the episode - although I think it’s really good, I don’t know what I can say about it that hasn’t already been said. Jasper is definitely poking Steven’s buttons and rephrasing a LOT of what WHITE has said to Pink: “You surround yourself with inferior gems because it makes you feel better.”

And Steven REACTS to this. The taunt WORKS.

And yes, he gains some extra powers for it, but something tells me this AIN’T the only thing he will get. It feels like a two-edged sword. Like it’ll be his own downfall somehow....... maybe at the end of the series.

Ashes to ashes.... hole to hole.

And oh wow I thought they were gonna bond but LMAO

“Consider your fight back there your first and ONLY lesson.“

Basically:

I love you Jasper.

EP 2: GUIDANCE

I LOVE YOU AMETHYST.

sHE’S doing SO much and she’s SO good at it!! Look at her!! Organizing stuff!!!!

RUBIES IN SUNGLASSES. IN SQUARE SUNGLASSES.

I need 20.

And I also need 20 of Larimar because holy shit that’s hilarious.

Larimar: “I want to hear the human screams forever.”

Steven: “Okay that’s kinda troubling.”

I love the reference to Monsters Inc here and I love the callback at the end of the episode when Larimar switches to Human Laughter to get her fill of that particular erm... need.

And honestly the ensuing chaos is equally predictable and entertaining.

I’m SO glad to know that Rubies are just... Like That and that actually Navy is not a deviation from the norm but rather a different flavor of the chaotic energy all Rubies naturally seem to possess.

Amethyst is also super relatable:

“Ah yes, the fool comes crawling back. Come to beg for forgiveness, have you?”

In fact, the episode’s WHOLe HUMOUR is just very much My Brand

“Sometimes you save all the people but the rollercoaster still crashes into the ocean...... and that’s okay.”

Including the Running Gag that is Onion. Who... does not appear to have aged. At all. And that’s okay.

EP 3: ROSE BUDS

Okay where do I even begin with this one. Um.

I have to openly admit that I spent the majority of this episode wheezing with laughter. Let’s start with the Zoomans:

Who are CLEARLY STILL SUPER SALTY AT GREG ABOUT REJECTING THEM??? Which is hilarious.

And also this paradise is fascinating in and of itself.

But the next scene is basically where I started losing my shit.

Okay, okay, alright so. Uh. I have... a few questions.

Like Why. WHY. Does she look. SO MUCH like Rose?

Clearly Rose Quartz differ in coloring and etc. But She literally looks. Like THE Rose. VERY explicitly.

So here’s several options here:

1) Pink made Rose Quartz way before any of the Rebellion happened and Pearl just basically pigeonholed her into THIS specific Rose Quartz appearance because she (???) had a crush? Or somehow saw this specific Rose, thought ‘hot, i can make my sympathetic Diamond wear this exact costume and that would be EXCELLENT fanservice for ME’

2) Pink didn’t have any Rose Quartz until the Rebellion, and thereafter quickly decided ‘I need these gems as an alibi, so we’re just gonna make them” and she and Pearl basically inclubated Rose Quartz like a pokemon trainer hatching for a Shiny until they got one that looked Exactly Like That.

3) There was no Thinking involved because this is Pink we’re talking about, and it was all just a huge coincidence for the sake of this Very Hilariously Uncomfortable Episode.

While we ruminate on that, let’s look at some Relatable Reactions.

And here we have the holy trinity of “I have just seen the clone of my deceased parent/parental figure/lover.”

Featuring: Bonus ‘I’m Almost Over It’ Pearl

Also, I need y’all to make this into a meme:

For example:

Anyway, alright, alright.

That relatable feel when your (hot) dead lesbian lover’s clone asks you if you’re okay after another one of the (less hot?) clones offers you a whole ass stick of butter to eat.

And then you and your friends all hide in the bathroom to talk about your feelings:

Okay, the rest of the episode gives me FEELINGS and I love how hard Steven is trying, so I’ll just close it off with:

I LOVE THEM. Unironically, they are EVERYTHING I had hoped Rose Quartz would be. They’re SO MUCH like Rose herself - did she model her personality after them? Or are they just like her because she WAS like that, and they’re made from her essence? WHO KNOWS?! They’re adorable!

And the conflict between them and Steven is honestly so gooD! I don’t know if it’s completely relatable but I’m glad they ended up talking it out.

I wonder if we’ll ever see Her again... you know who I’m talkin’ about.

Her....

I’m madly in love with Rose, ok, I don’t need a callout post. Just leave me be.

EP 4: VOLLEYBALL

Alright, alright, alright.

OKAy,.... It’s fine. It’s FINE. I’m fINE.

Confirmed: 8000 years. That’s. UH. A LOT? That puts our timelines quite a ways back. We kind of estimated as much, but still, it’s so jarring to think about. And PP is VERY casual about it.

She’s also VERY casual about the injury.

“This is all Pink Diamond!”

It doesn’t seem like it bothers her to talk about it at all. She’s not even trying to keep it a secret. So I’m almost wondering - was there a connection to her being taken by White and the injury at all or not?

She came to Steven to get healed - she clearly wants it gone. At the time she was injured, did Pink not even attempt to heal the injury?

Follow up question: If she DID care, why didn’t she try to heal it?

Follow up to the follow up: Was it because she didn’t know she could? Or did she simply not have the time to (White removed her before she could)?

When Steven goes pink, she gasps - but makes no further comment. It’s presumably because she’s seen this happen before. She doesn’t try to move away, weirdly enough - she asks him if everything is alright. Perhaps the context is too different for it to be triggering for her. Perhaps there’s more layers to it? HMMM.

What follows is, perhaps, the SALTIEST we’ve seen Pearl since Greg rolled around.

“Did you come to compete?”

This is doubly curious to me because Crewniverse has previously explicitly stated that Pearl was NOT in love with Pink Diamond. She was in love with Rose. So if this is true, why would Pearl care about her place as Pink’s Pearl? She is supposed to be past all that, isn’t she?

And yet as time goes on, the salinity grows exponentially. Alright, you two, I know you’re Pearls but tone it down with the sass.

(Also, I’m sorry but I will NEVER call her Volleyball. That’s all. Bye.)

Also it’s worth noting that... PP is clearly VERY much in love with Pink.

This is, perhaps, where the lack of a grudge plays into it. She’s completely enamoured.

Moreover, she’s VERY casual about how she talks here. This isn’t exactly how one talks of their Diamond. This is how people talk about their romantic partners. She calls Pink silly, calls her ‘funny’. That’s not exactly a term of respect - it’s way more intimate than that.

Also, did anyone else notice how, although CG Pearl’s gem is usually shaded in teal, it’s in Pink in this episode? VEEEERY subtle, Crew.

Also, we can’t quite see Pink Pearl’s expression fully here because her working eye isn’t visible, which makes it hard to get a read on things like

“I’m older than you.“ Is she just saying it casually? Or is she fully aware that she’s poking fun at CG Pearl?

HI SHELL. ISN’T IT FUNNY HOW YOUR VOICE AND YOUR NAME ARE A SUBTLE NOD TO PORTAL, WHICH IS FORESHADOWING HOW BADLY THIS IS GONNA END.

Meanwhile, Pearl continues to be in character.

“No need to be overly... attached.”

And this has nothing to do with anything but

she cute

Aaaand now it’s creepy again.

The rest of this is super important so let’s get to it:

“Oh, no. Pink did this.”

“What did you say?”

“It’s a funny story, really. Once, Pink got tired of asking Yellow and Blue for her own colony, so she went straight to White. Of course, White told her she wasn’t fit to run one... and well! That set her off.”

“Set her off? What are you talking about?”

“You remember how she was! With her destructive powers, throwing tantrums left and right! She had a scream that could crack the walls. She didn’t mean to hurt me! (giggle) I just happened to be standing too close to her that time and--”

And then Steven interrupts.

We get more CG Pearl arguing for how wrong this image of Pink is to her. What CG Pearl knew was a totally different (or, well, same, but VERY changed) Pink.

But what we have to prove our point is Steven himself. He rolls into the EXACT same state as Pink presumably did - and begins to over-use his powers.

(This isn’t the first time we have seen him use this attack.)

The reactions from the Pearls are telling - this is clearly not Pink Pearl’s first rodeo with this type of Mood.

And it’s important to note that Steven clearly didn’t direct any attack AT them. He simply yelled - and the whole dang place literally started to crack. There’s weight to the argument that possibly, Pink really DIDN’T mean to hurt her Pearl - that she was just collateral damage.

Which doesn’t make it any better, obviously. Even if Pink had no direct intention of hurting her Pearl (and there are theories that Pink purposefully hit or threw Pink Pearl or somehow physically acted directly to damage her, which I was skeptical of) the result of it is still the same.

If you raise your voice and yell, even if you’re just yelling because YOU are hurt/have feelings, you might still hurt the people around you. If you throw a tantrum, even if your direct goal was just to let off some steam without aiming to harm anyone, whoever gets in your way is still the victim.

And this is all very much On Brand for Pink’s timeline as we know it. We already knew this about her - we KNEW she tended to throw tantrums (like in the flashback on Jungle Moon) and that she was childish. The fact that she accidentally hurt her Pearl in the process because she had no self-control at that period in her life comes as no surprise.

(Although it’s important to mention that perhaps hurting her own Pearl WAS the breaking point during which she finally realized how her emotional outbursts could have negative consequences on those around her.)

And this is a very beautiful message - even if Pink Pearl still doesn’t want to blame Pink for what was done to her (”But... she didn’t mean to!”) Pearl brings the point of it back around to her (”But you were still hurt!”) The point isn’t the person who did the hurting - the focus is on the victim and how they were affected.

And the rest, I daresay, is history.

I like the fact that they managed to still bring it back around to the main message:

It isn’t about just “Pink was bad”. It’s about how she did bad things. And there were multiple sides to her - multiple stages. And the Pearls who knew her knew different sides of her - the side that didn’t know how to be a good person, who was selfish and childish and unrestrained... and the side that was, arguable, too restrained. Who hated her own past, her own character and her own mistakes so much that she would rather bury them and keep secrets from everyone.

And neither of those things were good, and neither were healthy, but they are a GREAT contrast to a GREAT character arc that is, arguably, still being unearthed. And we have so much more context for it all now.

I, for one, can’t wait to see and discover more of Pink through Pink Pearl - no matter how ugly that side of her might be. I think it gives great perspective to her later growth.

And if you ship the Pearls.. .well, I get why.

Personally I’m not interested in it that way. Call me unromantic - I don’t think their relationship NEEDS to be shippy in order to be satisfyingly deep. I love the idea of them having a deep bond over this - a shared past, a shared experience, and gaining confidence through one another.

Cheers and thanks for listening!

#steven universe future #steven universe: future #steven universe future spoilers #su:f spoilers #suf spoilers #su spoilers #steven universe spoilers #spoiler warning #pink pearl #volleyball

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petri808 · 3 years

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1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

Inukag AU

As Inuyasha and Kagome cut through a park on their way back to the Higurashi home, they chatted casually, just winding down after a hearty lunch at a nearby cafe. The couple stayed to the pathways traversing the manicured park. It would be shorter to cut through the grass, but why the rush? It was a beautiful location, with a several different kinds of trees dotting the landscape to provide shade and lots of open space for all kinds of activities. Some picnicked, flew kites or played frisbee, they’d even passed a group doing Tai Chi. There were young families to older citizens enjoying the scenery. The couples conjoined hands and twined fingers swayed lazily back and forth between them. Despite the summer heat starting to rise in Tokyo, with blue skies and a gentle breeze brought in from the Pacific Ocean, it was a perfect day for a stroll.

While this journey towards normalcy hasn’t always been an easy one, the past couple of months have been the happiest so far. Ever since leaving the hospital Kagome’s felt better and better. There were even moments she’d made peace with the idea she may not regain her memories. Was it saddening yes, because she wouldn’t remember her job, friends, and other precious moments. But at the same time, she could always make new ones. Sango’s twins were still young. She could relearn her job, and best of all she had Inuyasha who’d she’d become attached to. Their steadily growing relationship was a budding romance regardless of their past history. Think about? Kagome had a chance to re-experience everything in a new way, through a new lens. Well… that’s what she told herself to justify the idea, and so far, it was working.

But there were strange moments starting to occur. Sometimes they were dreams of scenes Kagome didn’t recognize. That in of itself weren’t unusual because how often do dreams ever make complete sense? No, it was in the emotions that came with them. On several occasions Kagome would wake up with the distinct feeling these were not merely dreams but memories trying to break through. At other times, she couldn’t remember the dream, only the emotions she’d felt during them. Sometimes they were so intense, she’d wake up in tears or completely happy for no other reason. According to her neurologist, this was normal during the healing process, but unfortunately there was no true way to tell the difference between reality and fantasy.

“Did I tell you I reached out to Ms. Tanaka the other day?” Kagome asked Inuyasha.

“Mmm, I don’t think so.”

“I called the office and spoke to her briefly about maybe getting lunch one day so she could tell me how things have been there. I may not know exactly what she’s talking about, but maybe it’ll jog my memories.”

Inuyasha lifted their conjoined hands and kissed the back of hers. “I think that’s a really good idea. You guys will have fun talking.”

“I think so too, she seemed very nic—…” Kagome’s voice trailed away as stopped dead in her tracks and her eyes shifted towards one of the parks trees. “Um, c-could we check out that tree?”

“Sure, whatever you want.” Inuyasha smiled knowingly.

It was like her feet gained a mind of their own as they carried her towards a large Sakura tree in the middle of a field. Just from looking at, there wasn’t anything special about the tree. Spring had long since passed and the blooms were no more. But Kagome felt a pull towards this one in particular as if she remembered something about it. What that was she had no idea. She let go of Inuyasha’s hand and reached out, touching the bark of the tree, and staring up at its massive girth. It looked old. Maybe there long before the park existed… maybe older than even the Edo period, who knew? It was just another green leafed tree, yet why was it stirring up a rush of emotions? Happy ones with butterflies dancing in her soul.

Slowly, she moved around the base of the tree like a surveyor mapping it out or searching for secrets only it could provide. And that’s when she saw it. Kagome’s breathing hitched as her eyes fell upon a carving in the wood, approximately five feet above the ground. There, a bit worn nonetheless was a heart encircling two names. “Kagome…” She read aloud, “& Inuyasha—

Oh, my Kami!” She gasped, both hands flying up to cover her mouth in shock. “H-How? When?”

At that moment, Inuyasha walked over, gazing at the words and running his hand over the carving while he spoke. “We carved this about two years ago.” He smiled, eyes crinkling, and growing moist as if reminiscing. “It was a late Saturday afternoon and after eating an early dinner at Genki Sukiyaki, we cut through this park to get to your house. But it started to rain, not very heavy, so we took shelter under this tree.” Inuyasha chuckled lightly. “I remember you being upset about your hair getting wet.” He finally looked to Kagome, placing a hand on her cheek. “You looked so beautiful and even though the weather was miserable, there was just something magical about it all. That’s when you asked me to carve this into the tree.”

“But how did I know to look for it?” Kagome was so confused. “I don’t remember any of that.”

“I have no idea how. But part of you must. Maybe, it’s a sign your memories are fighting to come through.”

The tears gathering in Kagome’s eyes, trickle down her cheeks as a blend of happiness and sadness. She wanted to be happy for such a beautiful memory but devastated that she couldn’t remember it. She wanted to be excited that maybe, just maybe it could be true that her memories were returning, yet she didn’t want to take the chance of a let-down. Inuyasha pulled her into a tight hug as she let go of the angsty emotions. “It’s not fair that I can’t remember! I want to remember!”

“Shhh,” Inuyasha who’s own tears begun to spill, did his best to soothe her with softened tones. “I want that too. It’s gonna get better baby. I think this really is your memories returning, we just have to believe.”

“It’s hard to do that sometimes…”

Inuyasha lifted her chin and swept his thumbs over her cheeks to dry them. “And if you don’t, we’re creating a whole new memory of this tree right now, an even more special one.”

Kagome sniffled. “You think so?”

He nodded his head and placed a gentle kiss on her whetted lips. “What do you think?” Inuyasha questioned with a soft smile. “How can we add to this memory?”

Kagome paused for a moment in thought. “We could add something beneath our names… like… mmm, forever in time?”

“Is that what you want?” She nodded yes. “Okay,” Inuyasha obliged.

He kissed her again then used his claw to slowly, meticulously carve the new words into the bark. It took a few minutes because he wanted to make sure it was easy to read and would last a long time. “I think this is definitely will better than the original memory.”

“Mmhmm, it’s a good one,” Kagome agreed. She felt a lot better now. “Thank you, Inuyasha for being so patient with me. It must be so frustrating.”

Inuyasha shook his head. “Not anymore. I’m not glad about the accident, but I’m cherishing all this time I’m spending with you. Kagome, I truly mean it when I say, this moment right here,” he took her hand. “It’s now one of the happiest moments you’ve ever given me. No matter what,” he smiled, “I’ll always love you, forever in time.”

She giggled. “Forever… I like the sound of that…”

After the incident at the park, Kagome brought it up with the neuropsychologist assigned to her case. The woman patiently sat in her chair as Kagome told her every little detail. What she felt, the emotions, her thoughts, and reactions. She also brought up the dreams she’d been having as well as small incidents that caused her to feel like it might be memories trying to come through.

“Like, just the other day,” Kagome explained. “Sango accompanied me to the hospital for my last physical check-up, but as we passed by the nursery, we decided to stop to look at the cute babies. Then out of nowhere I started to feel emotional, nothing bad, just happy as she talked about the birth of her twins. I mean, yeah it makes sense to feel happy at the time because we were having a good time, but it just felt different. I almost felt like crying. Why is that??”

The woman finished jotting down her notes before speaking. “It’s been about 5 months, correct, since you lost your memories?” Kagome nodded yes. “And according to your latest evaluations, your brain has healed quite nicely. It’s not uncommon at this point for triggers to manifest themselves.”

“I don’t understand…”

“The way long term memory retention works, our brains must process information and create new neurocircuitry, storage if you will once the information has been deemed necessary to keep in the long term. If not, our short term memories are discarded quickly. Of course, this is just a basic explanation and there’s more to it, but what studies have found is memories attached to an emotional event have a higher likelihood of being retained and will evoke a stronger response from us. Think of it like, these emotional memories are much more deeply attached to our psyches.”

“Oh— I think I understand.”

“Mmm,” the doctor hummed. “The park incident was attached to a very emotional moment in your life. So even though you couldn’t remember the event itself, the part of you that remembered the emotions surrounding it did and pushed you towards the tree. Also, the hospital, you mentioned being with your friend Sango and looking at babies. This is just a guess, but perhaps you were feeling the emotions you felt from the time she gave birth.”

As the doctors words were processed, moisture began to pool in Kagome’s eyes. Could it really be true?! Should she really allow herself to hope?! When Kagome finally responded, her voice cracked as it held back the tears. “D-Does this mean… I’m starting to get my memories back?”

“I would say, yes. Again, I cannot say one hundred percent certain, but what you are experiencing is a common one. Those that suffered from acute memory loss, don’t just wake up one day and suddenly they’ve all returned. It’s a gradual process, but once it begins it typically continues at a steady pace.”

“I-I don’t know what to say!” A few happy tears joined the smile on Kagome’s face.

“I suggest that you start writing down the times you feel something or think you’re remembering something and check them with your family and friends. If they confirm it, talk about it. That could help as well to bring more information and memories to the forefront— give your brain a little help to jog itself.”

“Thank you so much, doctor! I’ll definitely do that!”

The woman smiled, reaching over to pat Kagome’s hand before giving it a small squeeze. “You’re very welcome. I wish you all the luck in the world!”

#inukag #inuyasha #inukag au #kagome higurashi #inukag fan fic #inukag fan fiction #inuyasha x kagome #missing memories #ch 8 #petri808

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