#also reblogs are off bc this post is my opinion so people do not need to reblog this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

harunovella · 2 years

Text

so can you keep it secret? ; e.y.

synopsis: Porco Galliard hated Eren Yeager, that was a given. It was the way he looked, the way he behaved, how he carried himself... And you couldn't help but be curious about this man. Why did your step brother despise him so much? And why did it feel so good sneaking around and falling deeply for your step brother's arch nemesis?

cw: college au, female reader, minor age gap (5 years), strangers to lovers, fwb (eventual couple), car sex, thigh riding, smut, long-haired eren (goth!eren) bc that's a warning in of itself, minor blood, everyone is aged up (18+)! srry if i miss any! MDNI!

wc: 11k+

an: so my spiderman!eren au did so much better than expected (it's at 500+ notes thanks?!) and I have a few other eren stories that I had on my ao3 so I thought I'd slowly integrate them over here... enjoy and reblogs are much appreciated! xo p.s. this originally was a two parter but I squashed it together... p.s.s. i'll make a masterlist when I post more!

Eren had finally made it, he was going to finally graduate medical school and finally get his father off his back about following in his footsteps. It wasn't like Eren hated the path he was on, it just wasn't ideally the career he wanted. He had lived a life wanting to explore the world, to travel and be carefree, but then his parents reminded him that he needed an actual career with a great salary to be able to do such thing. So, as a way to keep his childish dreams from being anything but that, he decided becoming a doctor would at least give him the money he needed.

However, things didn't always go so easily.

He wasn't the lively boy he once was, things changed, life happened... and people who didn't really know him saw him in a different light. It was one of his final courses, a semester long project to get students prepared for working in dynamics with others in their field—a supposed required course for every major to take. A way to improve the social skills of this generation wherein the older ones believed they lacked due to their technological obsessions. Word for word, exactly how Eren remembered his counselor said way back when he first started his journey.

That's how he ended up paired with the only person in the entire university who couldn't stand him or his entire existence. Eren didn't seem to care about others false opinions, he never paid them any mind, after the person he'd become—which was just antisocial and goal driven—he was mistaken for a druggie, womanizer. Something he wasn't.

Sure, he had his fair number of tattoos and piercings, and he had his hair long and always hanging over his face or pulled back in a messy excuse for a bun, but that didn't mean he was a delinquent. It was just who he was. However, to Porco Galliard, that did not seem to matter. Appearances—to him—were everything. And, of course, Porco was his assigned semester long partner.

Lucky him.

Porco didn't seem to care if Eren was in the top 5% of their class—something no one expected from a expressionless man like himself. He also didn't seem to care if his father was a medical genius or that he did come from money because of said father, no, Porco always saw Eren to be beneath him. And, in all reality, Eren just didn't care for Porco either. He was a rich snob who always had to have the final word.

"Maybe he's just jealous that you're anti social and still get the ladies for having a pretty face," Sasha would tell Eren whenever he would mention Porco's childlike hatred towards him.

"Though it doesn't help that you look like a pothead manwhore," Jean would add, earning a smack on the arm from Mikasa. "What? He does! His hair and that emo vibe he gives off!"

Yet somehow everyone else saw him as just that. Something he wasn't. Sure, he had his fair share of stupidity when he was in that age between who he once was and who he had become, but that was all experimental and he didn't really like it. It wasn't something he wanted to pursue, but with the look he found to be the most... him, brought on that constant speculation. He gave up on denying it, the ones who knew the truth were the only ones that mattered anyway.

And so did you.

At least, eventually, you would learn.

Eren could remember that day as if it were yesterday. The day he first met you.

The moment he had arrived at Porco's home to begin their semester long project. How he entered without receiving a hello from the dirty blond, how said man left him to his defenses as he went to use the bathroom. Eren stood at the doorway with his hands deep in the pockets of his jacket, eyeing the surrounding home. It was well furnished, minimal frames lingering about, a two story townhome Porco managed to afford on his own. Or, at least, Eren recalled him mentioning when he had eavesdropped on a conversation. However, as Eren walked further into the home and spotted the tiny backyard, a young woman was crouched tending to a small garden.

He couldn't recall Porco having a sibling or someone he lived with, or maybe he just didn't care in the moment to remember. His head tilted at the sight, eyeing her as she watered the flower bed, a bucket hat on her head, and a sundress snug to her body. Sandle cladded feet digging into the dirt as she smiled to herself.

It was you. He hadn't known who you were, but he had recognized your face from one of the photos he had passed by earlier. You stood up and brushed some loose strands (that slipped your braid) behind your ear. Were you Porco's sister? Girlfriend? No... The one thing Eren did remember was that Porco and Pieck Finger had a thing. Or, rumored to have.

Watching you as you reached for your water bottle, uncapping it and chugging away the contents, Eren felt entranced. The way you tilted your head back, how beads of water slipped down your chin and neck. He blinked a few times before he looked elsewhere. Maybe it was because he hadn't had sex in a while, seeing as you so easily piqued his interest.

Sometimes he hated being the antisocial person he had become, it made him feel more desperate for human contact than he should.

Eren snapped himself out of his thoughts before he turned away. If he was to be left on his own, he might as well do some snooping. It wasn't like he cared to be scolded by Porco, he already got pointless insults from him daily, anyway.

That's how he found himself on the second floor, standing before a room covered in pastels.

Clearly, this was not Porco's room. The amount of posters and trinkets around, the floral bedsheets... A beanbag, stuffed animals. Magazines and a vanity full of makeup. A bunch of Polaroids hanging on a string of lights. It was your room.

Eren walked towards your desk, a collection of colorful pens and sticky notes amongst journals and books (and other educational tools), sat on its surface. Leaning over and eyeing the photos, seeing the consistency of you and some friends, he furrowed his eyebrows at the sight of a pair of recognizable faces. Gabi Braun and Falco Grice. The former being the little cousin to one of Eren's friends—Reiner Braun—and the latter being the little brother of an acquaintance of his, Colt Grice.

"What are you doing?" A voice had spoken up, causing Eren to nearly jump out of his skin as he turned to face the person.

To face you.

What he did not expect was to see a subtle smirk on your lips, you leaning against your own door frame, and arms crossed. Your feet were bare and your hat was gone. Just you, your sun dress, and (you must've undone your braid) loose hair.

He recalled the innocent look you tried to put off, the way you had lowered your arms and held your hands together before turning your smirk into a gentle smile. It was an act, clearly, he saw right through it. He wondered how often it was used. You must've been a Venus fly trap. "I was looking for the bathroom."

"Well, you're in my bedroom," you had chuckled, shaking your head. "Though, I do have my own personal one. There is no spare one up here. The two bedrooms have their own, then there's the half bath downstairs," you had explained, then stood up straight to approach him.

The whiff of your perfume had hit him—a scent he would never forget—so sweet yet so seductive. Something a siren would conjure. His heart had skipped a beat when you were mere inches away him, his eyes landing on your neck. He thought about the water that had trickled down your skin. His focus slipped from your clavicle down to your cleavage before it swiftly made its way up, to your lips, and back towards your eyes. "Apologies..."

He knew he should've walked out, knew he should've made his way back downstairs... but he couldn't seem to. He was too enthralled by your beauty. There was something about you... You must've been a siren.

"Hey, where the hell did Yeager go?" Porco had called out, causing both your's and Eren's eyes to widen. You didn't think twice when you grabbed Eren's hand and shoved him into your bathroom before shutting the door. Like nothing, you came up with a lie, shouting back how you didn't even see whoever this Yeager person was. All while Eren listened in from the confines of your bathroom (a place he would soon grow accustomed to). You were such a liar.

After that day, you and Eren would encounter one another more often than not. With him working with Porco, Eren would become a common guest at your shared home. Not only that, he would eventually pursue something with you that was beyond friendship.

Porco had a habit of disappearing on Eren in the midst of their group work to do god knows what. It was a different excuse each time he ran into you; majority being phone calls while others he straight up would lock himself up in his room to game with some online bodies who were from a different time zone. All an excuse to stay away from Eren. In those instances, Eren would be left alone to do his part—and any other homework or studying he had to do—before the Galliard man would return... usually an hour later.

Eren had hated that.

Keywords, had hated.

As days turned into weeks, and his presence became more prominent in your home, you grew more and more acquainted with the long haired man. You, unlike Porco and Eren, were soon going to start your freshman year as a college student. You were in the midst of your last summer break before classes would begin, fresh out of high school and already exploring the world with your best friends.

Except, those outings became almost less and less the more you found yourself trying to get close to Porco's arch nemesis.

Eren Yeager was no mystery man to you. You knew of him. You would hear Porco rant about him all the time and, well, you kind of grew an unhealthy obsession. Sure, Porco wasn't a big fan of Reiner Braun... but Eren Yeager? Now that was pure hatred. And, out of pure curiosity, you wanted to get close to this Eren person.

And that's what you did.

Porco Galliard was your step brother, an addition to your life when you first started high school. You had always wanted a big brother and he became that. He was standoffish and quite harsh towards you at first. Being as he was half a decade older than you and wasn't fond of the idea that his father was marrying your mother... he kind of took that out on you. He told you he had an older brother he lost and didn't need a replacement the day you two met. However, as time passed, he started to realize how much of an ass he was to you and slowly opened up. It also helped that his father didn't appreciate how he treated you when you were nothing but kind to him. Probably why Porco took the role of the overly protective big brother a little too serious.

It was a bit suffocating, at first you didn't mind, but the older you got... the more irritated you became.

You understood where he came from, but you were already an adult. Technically speaking. Someone who was entering the real world and was no longer a child. Yet, Porco never could see or understand this.

It was one of the many reasons why you started seeing Eren behind his back.

What started off as shameless flirting on your end blossomed into something... raw. You recalled the ways he'd look at you when he thought you weren't paying attention, or how you'd let your hand linger a little too long on his thigh. Little touches and glances lead to you making out with him at one of Gabi's cousin's parties (yes, your group of three always attended them seeing as Reiner could never deny his precious cousin). You had basically thrown yourself at Eren and had half expected him to deny you... not indulge and lock the two of you up in a bathroom.

From that day on, the two of you started something you couldn't seem to stop.

What you claimed to be a way to relieve endless sexual tension, with Eren being the first man to ever do any of that with you, became something of constant need. Which eventually blossomed into the constant desire to simply just be near one another. What once was shameless hookups became a secret relationship. The reason you were already reaching your five month mark with him.

"I can't believe you're actually dating him," Gabi said as the two of you sat at one of the couches in Reiner's home. It was his annual Christmas party. Your first semester of college went smoothly, what with you having a now graduated boyfriend who loved to give you rewards every time you did well in classes. The incentives were a nice form of motivation. It also helped that he had gone through all the same classes you went through and was the perfect tutor. Now on your winter break, you felt as if you could breathe freely. Somewhat. Porco still hadn't figured out that you were dating his quote unquote enemy.

After that forced group project of their final semester, the two so happened to take part in the same residency... Which meant Porco and Eren seeing one another more. Which meant even more complaints and rants from your step brother.

"Why are you surprised?" You asked as you sipped at the cup in your hand, eyes lingering towards the hallway that lead to the kitchen. From your spot on the couch, you could see Eren leaning against the wall parallel to the island table where two of his best friends—Armin and Mikasa—stood at. They must've been doing something, a wall blocking your vision as you could only see the two walk by every so often. Eren would open his mouth and speak a few words before brining his own cup to his lips. Though his closest friends and your own as well knew about your relationship, you couldn't quite do much in public. When it came to Reiner's home, it meant Porco was somewhere nearby. Or, at least, some of his close friends were. Whenever he'd enter a Braun party and spot Yeager, Porco would turn and walk right out.

Except this time, he was still lingering, mingling with Pieck and Bertolt in the dining room as Colt and Reiner were shooting darts.

The house was packed, Reiner always managed to befriend almost anyone and everyone from all walks of life. There was no wonder why you always found yourself in a corner with Gabi, it was overcrowded and as fun as it was, you didn't trust college boys. Especially when they were drunk. It was enough that you were taken and couldn't quite show it, but it was another thing having to constantly dodge their advances. You hated it but with Gabi around—and her temper—it helped. Only a semester in college and she made a name for herself.

"Because of Porco," Gabi shook her head as she sipped at her drink. "I mean... he hates Eren."

"Yeah, I'm well aware," you snickered, eyes looking back into the kitchen as Eren was now talking to Jean—another good friend of his you met a few months back. Another friend who knew of your secret relationship. "But I don't hate him."

"Obviously," Gabi clicked her tongue. "I'm just glad no one in Eren's group has a big mouth."

Nodding, you took a sip from your cup, "Connie and Sasha have a bit of loose screws, but they know how to keep a secret. I don't worry much about it. Plus, it helps that some of them have already graduated or soon will, it isn't like I'm on campus making out with Eren."

"The perks of having an older boyfriend," Gabi sighed, earning a swat from you.

"Please, you and Falco have been in love with each other since you were in your single digits—"

"Shut up!" Gabi hissed, earning a laugh from you.

Just as you threw your head back, your eyes landed on said blondie. Lifting your head up and smiling at your best friend, you eyed your now empty cup before standing. "I'm gonna get a refill while you smooch up your boyfriend," you said as Falco approached, you patting his arm as he then took your seat. "Have fun!" You said as you leaned in between the two from the other side of the couch, earning a blush from Falco and a hushed curse from Gabi.

"You're such a fucking idiot, Kirstein," Eren grumbled with a roll of his eyes.

"You are, bastard!" Jean fired back.

"You both are idiots," Armin laughed as Mikasa sighed. You walked in, unsure what was happening, only knowing it was just them four there within the chaos of junk food. The kitchen was littered with dozens of opened and unopened beer bottles, tons of liquor, bags of chips, plates and napkins... all strewn all over the place. You felt bad for Reiner, but he never complained, Bertolt and Annie always helped him clean up since they, too, lived in the home. You'd often offer, but Reiner always said you did enough by being Gabi's best friend. It never ceased to make you laugh.

"Oh, hey," hearing your name as you were pouring yourself another cup from besides Armin, you turned and were greeted by his sweet smile.

"Hey," you smiled back, then noticing how everyone was looking at you—including Eren. "What are they arguing about now?"

"Some dumb shit," Armin waved off as you grinned.

"Nothing new," Mikasa shrugged as she approached you, gently bumping her arm against yours in an endearing way before whispering, "Eren's been waiting for you."

Blushing, you looked at the grey eyed beauty, "Porco's still here..."

Frowning, Mikasa sighed, "we'll cover up for you if he asks or anything."

Smiling, you nodded, "thanks." Walking past her and greeting Jean, you casually sat on one of the barstools adjacent to Eren. Sipping at your cup and pulling out your phone from the pocket of your cardigan, you scrolled through your social media. Without noticing it, Mikasa, Armin, and Jean all exchanged looks before discreetly ditching the space, leaving Eren alone with you. You tried to keep yourself busy, liking photos here and there, reading a few DM's you hadn't checked before a shadow casted upon you. Looking up and seeing Eren with his arms crossed over the counter as he leaned towards you, you bit back a grin. "Hi."

"Hey," he nudged his head. "How are you?"

Biting your inner lip, you fought the smile forcing it's way onto your lips, "I'm good... yeah, classes just ended... passed them all. How are you?"

"I'm alright," he sighed before one of his hands moved, tracing the tile on the counter as your eyes bounced between the many silver and black rings that adorned his fingers. "A bit bummed out though..."

Lifting your eyes from his fingers (that you were very well versed in) up his jacket covered arm, towards his neck and jaw, your eyes lingered on his plush lips. Oh, how badly you wanted to kiss him. "Why's that?" You asked, eyes still studying the handsome man before you, from the piercings that decorated his ears to the loose strands of hair that slid from his bun, towards his stunning emerald eyes (that seemed more interested on the counter than you), you shifted in your seat.

"I've walked under a shit ton of mistletoes, my girlfriend was nowhere in sight, but when she was, I couldn't kiss her," he pouted as your heart skipped a beat. The two of you had seen one another a few times throughout the night, walking by each other even, almost as if the other was a ghost with the lack of acknowledgment. You both hated it. "Kinda afraid she kissed some other man."

"Oh, poor you..." you played along, mimicking his pout as you tilted your head. "Though I doubt anyone would cheat on a pretty face like yours."

Finally lifting his stunning eyes to meet yours, Eren's toothy grin presented itself to you, his pearly whites on display as your heart throbbed within your chest. "Is that so?"

Nodding, you walked your pointer and middle towards his hand, your fingers gently trailing along one of the veins that was on full display. "Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen a man like you before. I'm kind of jealous. I mean, damn, she's a lucky girl... too bad I can't be seen with an older man. Especially one that looks like you," you frowned. Eren wanted nothing more than to take your hand and run into the nearest bedroom. "What, with all those piercings and that fashion sense... how are you a doctor?"

Eyeing you as he licked his lips, Eren took in a deep breath, "I sadly have to remove the earrings and hide any visible tattoos. Lucky for me, they're pretty hidden under my work attire."

Smiling, you pulled your hand away. You noticed the way Eren's own twitched, wanting to yank yours back. "That's a shame, if you were my doctor I'd want to see it all on full display."

Sucking in a sharp breath as he could hear his blood pumping, Eren looked at you with hungry eyes, "you're a little minx."

Grinning, you settled your cup and stood up, "I've gotta go... I'll see you around."

Feeling his heart drop, Eren stood straight, eyes slightly widening. "Where you headed to?"

"My boyfriend's car, he's waiting for me," you shrugged before walking off, smiling to yourself as you knew Eren would follow.

You slid past the crowd that had huddled up in the home, chanting Sasha and Connie's names—they must've been doing some sort of drinking or eating contest. Your step brother was still busy in his own world, unaware of your body walking out the front door. Mikasa, Armin, and Jean—who were now in the same vicinity as Porco—noticed you (followed shortly by Eren) exiting.

Walking past the stoners and a few couples making out on the porch, you strolled along the collection of cars, further down to where you knew Eren parked his car. He always kept it away from the rest, not trusting anyone around his car—and also for instances like these when he wanted the two of you alone.

Reiner's shared house was situated along a row of homes that sat before a park, a park in which you now walked along, spotting Eren's ride. Just as you approached it, the doors unlocked and the lights flickered. Eren wasn't too far behind. Opening the backseat door, you slid in, on your hands and knees as you made your way to the other side. Soon after, you felt the car shift as the door slammed, your body being tugged back. Now facing Eren, your sudden giggle was interrupted as his body hovered over yours, lips crashing on to your own with such desperation.

Eren slid his tongue past your parted lips, meeting your own as his hands grabbed onto the meat of your thighs, parting them and situating himself in between them. Though his car wasn't tiny, it wasn't massive either for either of you to be completely comfortable. However, you two had become pros when it came to having fun in the backseat of his ride.

Running your fingers along his hair, pulling it out of the bun it was in, you slid his hair tie around your wrist before you felt Eren grind up against you. Your heart skipped a beat at the pressure against your clothed core, Eren's bulge pressing against his jeans, begging for freedom. One of your hands slid between your bodies, palming against his hardness as a moan escaped the man before you, the kiss becoming sloppy as he couldn't seem to put his focus on anything else but the pressure you gave him. You grinned as you felt his hips jerk against you, your other hand settling against the back of his neck as you lifted your head enough to meet his lips once again.

In an instant, Eren had you straddling him, your thighs parted as you moved both of your hands into his hair once again. Your breathing was heavy, your lips desperately meeting one another as you began to grind your hips against him. Eren's fingers slid under the skirt of your dress, pressing into your thighs and bruising the skin. You grew impatient, your forehead pressed against his as you shifted and situated yourself against one of his thighs. The sounds of your shared breathing filled the air, Eren's parted lips catching your own as you began to rock yourself against him. The friction, that pressure you needed against your bundle of nerves had you seeing stars. You felt so needy—extra needy. It was enough that you had to sneak around to see Eren, which made the both of you even more desperate than you should've been.

You felt like a bitch in heat, every time you were alone with Eren, you always found yourself riding his hand, his thigh, or even his face, to get off. After all, that's how your relationship first started. And he (almost) always made it about you and your pleasures. He never complained. He liked seeing the way you unraveled before him, the look of pure ecstasy across your face, how your eyebrows furrowed and lips parted. The way you squeezed your eyes shut, how quickly you breathed, and the grip you had on his shoulders or head, always leaving behind angry crescent marks against his skin. He wore them—and any other markings you gave him—as a badge of honor. He loved making you come.

Reaching down and tugging at your panties, Eren pushed them as far as he could before you did the rest, allowing yourself to feel freely. Your slick staining his black jeans as you eagerly rubbed yourself against him. Eren watched in a daze, his head thrown back against the head rest as his fingers pressed into the flesh of your bare ass. You held onto your underwear, placing it in the pocket of his jacket. "Keep it," was all you said. Eren didn't even question it, he never did. At this point, he had a whole collection of your underwear in its own drawer—and not just from when you stayed the night.

Feeling your grip tighten as your moans became louder and quicker, Eren slid his hands higher and helped guide your hips. Helped you find your release as you orgasmed before him, the heat burning up your body as you lowered your head to his shoulder. You knew that wasn't it, it never was one and done. You soon found your lips on his neck, licking at the skin, lazily biting and leaving marks behind.

Eren undid his belt and pants, lifting his hips with you as he pushed his jeans down his thighs. Your own hands moved down to his underwear, tugging down the waistband and letting his length spring free. The fact that neither of you had spoken a word showed how desperate you were. Eren was in a haze and you were straight up horny. After weeks of studying for final exams, unable to free yourself from your step brother's watch as he knew you were changing due to college, you were hardly able to sneak around with Eren. You couldn't even remember the last time you two fucked.

Normally, Eren would tease you for being so damn desperate, but he was feeling it just as bad. He missed you. He really missed you. He dreamt plenty about you, fantasized and thought about you while he was supposed to be focused on other things. There wasn't enough porn in the world to make up for the itch he needed to scratch. You two were truly addicted to one another.

Eren slid into you with little to no resistance, he wondered if you kept busy while he wasn't around to make up for the lack of his presence. He didn't want to think about it. All he wanted to do was fuck you. Fuck you and fuck you and fuck you as much as he could in the back of his car before anyone could see you. He truly hoped Mikasa was keeping her word. He needed this time with you.

Lifting his hips to meet your own as you raised and lowered yours, the two of you groaned and moaned out each other's names. Tears lightly pricked your eyes, you felt like you were seeing god—though, to be fair, Eren always looked like a god in your eyes when you were being intimate. You could hear the angels singing. God, how you missed his dick.

It was embarrassing, you knew neither of you would last long. You fucked each other, eagerly needing to feel one another. Eren hissed as you yelped when he gave you a rough buck of his hips, tearing into you. Your body shook—as did the car. Your skin slapped, the sounds melting with every other obscene noise your bodies were making. From your mouth to his, down to your pussy. Everything was so loud and fast and hot...

"E— Eren—" you stuttered, gulping, trying to catch your breath. Your eyes squeezed shut, your head fell back as a scream ripped from your lungs.

"Fuck— Fuck, baby, it's been— it's been too long," Eren shook his head, head falling back as you squeezed tightly around him. Eren was going to come, he could feel it, you were already reaching your climax and crying out and it was only making him choke out on his moans. "Wh— Where do you—"

"In me— Fuck— Yes!" You shrieked, riding out your high. You didn't have to tell Eren twice, he came hard, shooting ropes of his seed within you until you were practically overflowing with it. It wasn't often, but whenever you did let him come in you, he loved watching the way his own release leaked deliciously from you. It almost always lead to him fucking you again. It was a wonderful thing that you were on the pill.

"Shit..." Eren breathed, taking a moment to collect himself as you did the same. "We should go back inside... Get cleaned..."

"Yeah..." you whispered, now looking down at him with hooded eyes. A lazy smile was on your lips as your hands moved up to push his hair away from his face. You leaned in and gave him a sweet kiss, nuzzling your nose against his before gently nibbling at his jaw. Eren sat there, his hands falling to his sides before he reached up and fixed your own hair that was a bit tousled.

Gazing up at you, a smile mirroring your own—one of satisfaction and a bit prideful at the sight of your blissful expression—he leaned in and kissed you. "Let's go."

Sighing, you opened the door and climbed off of him, adjusting your dress and shivering. Not only had you purposefully left your panties in Eren's pocket, but you could feel his release trailing down your leg.

Eren stepped out after fixing himself, shutting the door behind him before locking his car. He reached for you and brought your hand to his lips, kissing your knuckles, wrist, then tugged you to him as he kissed your lips. Your arms wrapped around his waist, his towering frame hunching over to deepen the kiss. His tongue met yours, yours hands tugging at his jacket, you smiled... but then suddenly you were standing there. Stunned. Your arms now open before you and Eren's body gone.

You blinked, and you blinked again and again, yells and grunts were heard, the sound of rustling and curses echoed into the night sky. You couldn't process it, too dazed. What the hell was happening?

"Porco! Porco, stop it!" You recognized that soft voice... it was Pieck.

Why was Pieck there? Why had she been calling out to Porco?

A gasp left you, one that made you light headed. Your eyes landed on Porco, clutching onto Eren's collar with one hand as his other was curled into a fist, punching at Eren's face. Your heart dropped, your eyes widened. Blood. Blood was everywhere. You screamed, you screamed so loud all you could hear was ringing. You reached for your step brother, tried to pull him off, but he shoved you back. You fell into Pieck's arms as she held you tight. Her usually calm voice yelled at Porco to stop, begging him to leave Eren alone. You tried reaching over again, voice cutting in and out as tears streamed down your cheek at the sight of your boyfriend taking every single hit.

He didn't block his attacks, he didn't even fight back. Why wasn't he? Why was he letting Porco do this?

Everything was happening so fast, your ears continued to ring, your vision blurred. Suddenly, Reiner was there to pull Porco back. Suddenly, Jean was there with Armin to tug Eren up to his feet. Mikasa was before him, checking his injuries as Bertolt and Annie stood before Porco to block his view. Gabi and Falco were beside you in an instant, speaking, saying things you couldn't pick up. All you could focus on was the blood that stained the sidewalk, the sound of your heart racing in your ears, and the sudden need to crumble to your knees.

To then black out.

"Hey." You were pretending you couldn't hear him, you stood there with your back pressed against the wall, a cup in your hand. Gabi and Falco stood before you, childishly bickering over something as you kept to yourself and watched it all unravel. It was always like this, you third wheeling and never seeming to mind, you didn't need to go to the movies when you had them. "Gabi snapped?"

Biting your inner lip as you fought a grin, you turned your head and tilted it up in acknowledgment. "Hey... Yeah, nothing new," you sighed as you eyed the emerald eyed man beside you. Eren had his hair down—a sight you adored—as he dressed in a pair of black jeans, a band tee, and a jacket over it. You tried to be discreet, definitely not checking him out in front of him... but how could you not? He was too handsome for his own good. Sometimes moments like these happened when it was just you two, eyes lingering, silence weaving between the two of you. You could smell his cologne. It made you want to tremble. Sometimes you hated his charms, even when he wasn't trying... he always had you enamored.

"About what?" Eren curiously asked. He was being quite social with you when your step brother wasn't too far off. It was another one of Reiner's gatherings, you were sure Porco hadn't noticed Eren just yet.

"Oh, you know how Gabi thinks she's always right," you waved a hand before leaning in, "when she's not."

That earned a snicker from Eren as he kept his focus on your two best friends, watching with such amusement. "Poor Falco."

Grinning as your eyes trailed his pretty face, freshly shaven jaw, perfect nose and lips that always appeared in your dreams, you turned your attention over his shoulder. Jean stood in between Sasha and Connie, lecturing them like a father. "Though, they remind me a lot like a pair of somebodies," you said, looking back at Eren as his eyes shifted to meet your own.

"Do they?" He arched an eyebrow as you nodded.

"You and Jean. Always bickering like a married couple," you teased, earning an eye roll from Eren. "I'm not wrong, everyone thinks that."

With a scoff, Eren crossed his arms, "Jean wishes he could land me."

Letting out a small laugh, you shook your head and turned your focus back to your best friends, "well, if he can't, I wonder who can? Mikasa?"

"I was thinking Porco," Eren teased, earning a snort from you as you were in the midst of drinking from your cup, nearly choking. Eren rubbed your back as you patted your chest, clearing your throat.

"Oh, you're funny," you pointed a finger as he flashed you a smile. A smile that always had you weak in the knees. "Though, you kinda have that mellow feel sometimes—like Pieck. I can see it."

Shaking his head, Eren removed his hand from your back before he brought it to your chin. "Eh, I wouldn't want him anyway."

Eyeing him as he kept his gaze locked on your face, gently shaking your head as he held your chin, your heart fluttered. "Who'd you want then?" You asked, blushing without a warning. Why'd you ask that? You were bold around him, sure, but in the comfort of your home. Never out in the open.

You just wanted him so bad.

"She's kind of hard to get," he sighed, letting go of your chin before resting his forearm above your head, against the wall you leaned on. "Got this overly protective step brother who hates my guts..." Lifting his free hand, using his thumb to push around the ring on his middle finger, your eyes widened as your throat locked. You?

"Oh?" You whispered, blinking, staring at him with a racing heart. "And that stops you... because?"

Stopping the movement of his thumb, he lifted his gorgeous eyes to meet yours, "not sure if she's into me."

"I'm sure she is... if she's been hinting at it for a while... Who knows, maybe she's willing to sneak around..." you trailed, voice coming out more breathy than intended. You couldn't help the way your breathing quickened in anticipation. You hoped he was catching your drift. After all, your words were pretty direct.

"Sneak around, huh..." Eren nodded. "Maybe I'll try that." Suddenly he stood straight, turned in his spot and walked away.

"Wh— Where are you going?" You nearly called out, getting off the wall and watching him with wide eyes.

"Gonna head to the bathroom, maybe I can find her there."

Without hesitating, you settled your cup to the nearest flat surface—the top of a speaker—before you followed after.

Your knees buckled in as you looked at Eren, then at Porco, then back at Eren. You could hear your stepbrother cussing at Reiner, trying to fight the solid man off, threatening more violence. Eren stood with a bloody nose and busted lip as Mikasa asked him questions. If he was okay, if he broke anything, if there's any pain... Jean and Armin watched him with worry.

"Go to him," Pieck whispered to you as your world finally snapped back into motion. You turned your head and eyed her with confusion. What was she saying? How had she known? "I may be quiet but I see things. I noticed the way Eren would look at you, how he treated you compared to everyone else. It also doesn't help that I just saw you two kiss. Go to him, stay with him, make sure he's alright. I'll handle Porco, okay? Please don't overthink it."

Slowly nodding, you eyed Porco as he continued to thrash around in Reiner's grip, Annie and Bertolt still blocking him. Turning your head and eyeing Eren, a look of... well, there was nothing. No sign of emotion. Expressionless. It was a defense mechanism, it was how he looked when he felt too much at once and shut down. Or maybe he saw this coming and had nothing to say. With a frown still on your lips, you walked over and gently gave Mikasa's arm a small squeeze. Her and the two men looked at you before giving you space, you taking Eren's hand in your own. "I'm going home with him."

"Okay," Jean nodded.

"Let us know if you need anything," Armin spoke.

"Please let me know when you make it," Mikasa added as you nodded.

Pulling out his keys from his pocket, you guided him back to his car, putting him into the passenger seat before you took the driver's. You adjusted the seat and rear view mirrors, seeing Porco in the reflection as Pieck now stood before him, completely blocking his view of your leave.

The drive to Eren's place was quiet, nothing but the hum of their air conditioner and the occasional noises the car made. Eren kept his solemn gaze ahead as you gripped the steering wheel with both hands. Your heart was all over the place and you constantly had to blink away tears that suddenly made their presence known. When you arrived, you were quick to park his car and rush to Eren's side, taking his hand once again and guiding him into the apartment building.

The moment you made it to his floor, to his door, and into his home, you sat him on his couch before gathering what you needed. You knew where things were, aware of the ins and outs of his apartment with the many times you visited and stayed the night—claiming to be at Gabi's. Bringing back his first aid kit, a damp towel, and some water, you settled it all on the coffee table before him.

Eren watched as you disappeared into his bedroom, the sound of his bathroom sink running lasted a few moments. Then he heard drawers opening and closing, minutes later you returned with clean hands and socks on your now bare feet. He hadn't even noticed when you removed your heels—maybe you had done it in his room—he wasn't sure.

He couldn't stop hearing the ringing in his ears, the white noise that had yet to leave him. The moment you wiped away his blood and cleaned up his wounds, up until the very second you started shedding tears and fought a whimper, the sounds around him came back to normal.

Your hands fell from his face as your head now hung. Tears fell down your cheek and collected on the ground between your feet. You tried holding it in, tried fighting it back, but your body trembled and a small gasp of air broke the silence.

Carefully, Eren brought you onto his lap and wrapped his arms around you. You buried your face in his neck as you clung to his shirt. "I'm sorry," you whispered. "I'm so sorry... It's— It's all my fault... I pursued you, I suggested all of this, I—"

"Stop," Eren finally spoke. "Don't blame yourself. I'm not going to let you feel guilty over your own happiness."

Feeling him gently push you back as you eyed him with blurry vision, your heart sank at the sight of his now bruising cheek and split lip. "Why didn't you stop him?" You asked, voice low. Your hand gently traced around the bruised areas, pouting as your eyebrows narrowed further. "You let him hurt you."

Sighing, Eren brought one of his hands up to your face, thumb brushing against your bottom lip as his fingers moved to hold the back of your neck. "As much as I would love to fuck him up, I wasn't going to. Not when it would make matters worse. Not when it would hurt you more. It's enough he had found us the way he had... I mean, hell, I hate to say I get where he's coming from."

"But his hate towards you is so stupid!" You shook your head, more tears surfacing. "It's judgmental and ridiculous! He hates you because, what? You look a certain way? He doesn't even bother to get to know you. You're not a bad guy! You're— You are so kind and you care so much for the ones you love. I see it. I see how you are with Mikasa and Armin. Sasha and Connie... Hell, even Jean! I feel it, too... It's not fair..." your voice lowered as did your eyes.

Watching you with soft eyes, Eren tightened his arm around your waist as his other hand moved from wiping your tears, to cupping your cheek. "I wish I could kiss you..." he whispered, earning a small smile from you.

"No, your lip..." you shook your head before sighing. "I just... I wish— I wish he would see it. I wish he would understand."

"What if he doesn't?" Eren asked, studying your every look. The way your eyes trailed around his shirt, how your hand fiddled with the material, only to stop at his question. "I won't stop loving you..."

Blinking a few times, your heart skipped a beat, eyes trailing up his body to meet his own. "You... Eren?"

Gazing at you, he nodded, "kind of hard not to." Letting out a small chuckle, he looked off to the side, bringing his hand to the back of his neck, rubbing it. "I haven't been in a relationship in a while. School was a lot on my plate... I guess I caught you at the right time, huh? I've loved you for a while now, about a week in. Maybe it's because I haven't been doing this for a while that I fell fast, but that sounds shitty, so I won't say it's that. I just..." sighing and lowering his hand, he reached for your own—the one that held his shirt—and gave it a small squeeze. "I wish I said it sooner, but I didn't want to scare you away. Who's to say you want something forever with an older man like me?"

Smiling, your eyes softened as you shook your head, "you're like five years older, don't make a big fuss about it." Loosening your grip from his shirt, you moved your hand to hold his. "I wouldn't have left. Sure, I would've been a bit terrified, I mean... a week in?" You teased, earning a laugh from him. "My past relationships didn't last too long. I've had like two before you, all lasted a few weeks. Different circumstances... After having a step brother around, it was even harder to go on dates."

"Clearly," Eren huffed. "You're young... You've just started living, you haven't even hit your 20s yet—"

"Don't give me that," you glared. "I can enjoy my life on my own while simultaneously enjoy it with you, Eren. Nothing will get in the way of what I want. And what I want is you. I have you. I mean, I was such an obvious flirt because of how bad I wanted you," you laughed.

"Yeah, because Porco made you curious," Eren teased.

"There's no denying that," you shrugged before taking in a deep breath, looking him in the eyes, those emerald pools that always pulled you in. "I'm glad I did. Even if I was more attracted to your looks at first," you cringed, but Eren smiled. "I grew to love everything about you. Even the dumb things you do that can bug me, you're a man after all."

Laughing at that, Eren pulled you into a hug and breathed you in, closing his eyes for a moment and sliding his fingers into your hair, pressing against your head. "A man in love—"

"Shut up," you grumbled through a smile. "I love you, too..."

Tightening his grip, Eren took in a deep breath before letting it out, leaning back and resting his forehead against yours. "If all else goes to shit and he kicks you out, you can live with me. It's kinda lonely being on my own."

"Eren..." you sighed, pushing back and looking at him. "Don't tempt me."

Shrugging, he brought his hand to your cheek, brushing his thumb just beneath your left eye, "I don't care, you can come in tomorrow with your bags and I'd welcome you with open arms."

"I don't doubt it," you smiled before standing up, taking his hands in yours. Pulling him up to his feet, you guided him to his bedroom. Undressing one another, left in only your undergarments, the two of you slid under his bedsheets. Holding tightly onto him as you practically cocooned yourself around him, the two of you fell asleep.

When morning had come, you and Eren shared a shower before dressing and making yourself breakfast. You were anxious, to say the least, having to go back home to an angry Porco. A Porco who—without a doubt—will give you a migraine from all is yelling and the potential crying that'll come from it. You knew you'd be just as angry, refusing to let him treat you as if you were a mindless child who couldn't make decisions. Refused to let him belittle Eren when he hardly knew him. It wasn't what you were looking forward to. You could only imagine if he had already told your parents or if he decided to keep it to himself.

Though, in all honesty, your parents already knew about Eren. It happened a month into your relationship with him, you two were together at the local mall, window shopping and having dinner together. You knew Porco wasn't a fan of the mall, always complaining about how packed it was—and that night he had his own plans. However, you didn't expect to run into your mother and step father, who had spotted you holding a boy's hand. Eren's hand.

You could remember how your heart dropped, the way your eyes widened and your hand twitched into his grip. Eren had been dressed in ripped up jeans, a distressed black tee, hair down and arm tattoos on display. It wasn't like you were embarrassed to be with a man like Eren, not ashamed to be with a guy who looked like he was plucked out of 90's rock band... you just didn't want this meeting to happen in public... Nor did you want them to react the way Porco did whenever Eren was around. Judgmental and with distaste.

Maybe luck was on your side, or the world wasn't truly cruel, because your boyfriend was nothing but respectful and your mother (plus step father) were nothing but kind. Although you had gotten a few questionable looks your way, and a few phone calls after that moment, they had no right to criticize. To tell you how to live. After all, you weren't living under their roof.

Plus, when they learned that he was on the road to becoming a doctor, they definitely eased off on questioning your taste.

"What are you doing?" You asked as Eren parked his car in a visitor spot rather than leave you out front. "Eren—"

"It's you and I not just you," he said as he slipped out of his seat and pocketed his keys. You quickly exited the car, rushing to his side after shutting your door and shook your head. "I don't want you getting attacked for something that's not your fault."

"Eren, you can't— He will only be even more upset!" You reasoned, but Eren didn't listen. Instead, he walked down the road and up to the townhome that was yours, you quickly following. "Eren—"

Looking down at you, he gently got a hold of your chin, eyes boring into your own, "I rather take the heat again than you, get yelled at and be the punching bag, enough for him to hear how much I love you. It may not be reasonable, but, we are in this together, aren't we?" Seeing you nod, he left a soft kiss on your nose, then forehead before letting you go.

Sighing, you pulled out your keys, ready to unlock the door before you... only for it to swing open. Eren tugged you behind him instinctively, you nearly losing your footing as your step brother and boyfriend were now face to face. It felt like hours had passed with how long they stared at one another before you finally spoke up. "Porco."

"Why the fuck is he here?" He spat, causing you to suck in a deep breath.

"Enough! He's my boyfriend, you had your fair share of abuse yesterday when you nearly beat him to death!" You snapped, lowering Eren's arm so you could step in front of him. "What you did was wrong, instead of approaching us like a mature adult, you beat the living hell out of him. And for what? You thought that'd make him run away? That I'd break up with him? If anything, it made you look completely foolish," you clenched your fists. "Your hate for Eren is pointless. You don't like his looks? Grow the hell up. You still look like a frat boy and you don't see anyone complaining!" You went on, now pointing a finger at him with eyes narrowed.

Porco stood before you, stiff and unable to counter. "Yes, I kept it a secret from you for this exact reason. You overreacted and not only hurt him, but you hurt me. I'm not asking you to love the guy, but I'm asking you to respect me. He is my boyfriend and I love him."

Feeling himself flinch at the word love, Porco took in a sharp breath through his nose as he kept his eyes locked on yours.

"And he loves me too," you nearly whispered, not realizing that you had tears pooling up in your eyes.

Gulping, Porco lowered his focus to the ground, recalling the events of the previous night. He had everyone hounding him, telling him he overreacted, that he fucked up. Reiner yelling in his face saying how he hurt you more than Eren with his actions. Annie nearly beating the shit out of him herself, Bertolt trying to ease the tension... Pieck saying you were an adult now and were allowed to be with whoever you wanted to. And somehow he knew, deep down inside, his long lost brother would be just as ashamed as they were.

It also didn't help that as he was ready to open the door, he overheard what Eren said to you. How he'd take the heat. How he loved you. Porco hated that. Hated how wrong he was. How stupid he had been behaving.

"I heard..." was all he said, eyes still low.

Your own widened, blinking before tilting your head in confusion. "Heard... what?"

"What Yeager said, about loving you. I heard it before I opened the door," he grumbled.

Eren, though silently listening the whole time, stood behind you with a subtle blush on his cheeks. He watched the way you took a small step back, how Porco stubbornly looked anywhere but at you. Placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder, Eren broke his silence, "you're lucky I love her as much as I do, I would've fucked you up worse—"

"Eren," you hissed, looking back at him as he shrugged. So nonchalant.

"Psht, whatever, Yeager," Porco glared as he instantly looked at the green eyed man behind you.

Rolling your eyes, you pinched the bridge of your nose, "look, I don't ever want to see you two fight again." Removing Eren's hand from your shoulder, you slipped your hand into it, noticing the way Porco's nose scrunched up. "Porco, I think you have something to say to Eren."

Sucking in a sharp breath, Porco crossed his arms, "I don't know why I have to apologize—"

"I'll move out," you quickly said, earning a look of shock from Porco.

"Wha— Fine! I'm sorry, Yeager," Porco huffed.

Smiling, you tugged Eren inside with you, "how hard was that?"

"Wait, why are you bringing him inside? He—"

Grinning, Eren lifted his fist and nudged Porco on the chest, "I am her boyfriend after all, Pock."

Grounding his teeth as he watched Eren walk past, making his way up the stairs with you, Porco called out, "I'm heading out, I better not see him when I return!"

"No problem, I'll be in her room where you can't see me," Eren smiled as he leaned over the railing, you shaking your head and tugging him with you.

"Stop instigating," you sighed, hearing a grumble from Porco before the front door slammed closed.

"It's the least I could do after he busted up my face," he huffed, sitting on your bed as you shut your bedroom door.

Stepping in between his legs, you cupped his cheeks and left a gentle kiss on his lips. "You still look handsome as ever," you gazed, gently tracing along his hairline, pushing away the hair from his face, behind his ear. Quietly gazing at one another, you continued your ministrations, softly caressing his cheek, brushing your thumb along one of his eyebrows, pressing your finger against his bottom lip.

Eren's hooded eyes watched you as you studied his face with a sweet smile on your lips. Giving your ass a small squeeze, he gave it a light tap before sticking his tongue out. Wrapping his lips around your finger, he watched as your cheeks flourished with heat before he leaned back. Letting your finger fall from his lips, he scooted back on your bed and brought you with him. Settling you on his hips as he fell back against your pillows, he trailed his hands up and down your thighs. "You were so assertive out there."

Grinning as your hands fell onto the expanse of his hard chest, you licked your lips, "I was defending my boyfriend."

"Yeah, and it was hot," he said, caressing and squeezing your thighs. "Porco took it better than I thought... After last night, you would've thought he would've gone for a round two."

"I have a feeling Annie and Reiner did something... Though, Annie probably beat the shit out of him..." you sighed, unbuttoning the top buttons of his plaid shirt to expose his chest. "She's always had my back when it came to Porco."

"I would have murdered him if I didn't hold back—"

"Shut up," you rolled your eyes. "You must really love me to take all of that."

"I do," Eren said, looking you in the eyes. "I really do..."

Blushing, you leaned down and kissed him as your hands caressed the skin of his chest. Moving your kisses down his neck, you licked a stripe up the column of his throat before meeting his lips once again. "You're such a gentleman."

"Only because he's your family," Eren lowly spoke.

"Yeah, but you still are one. Such a handsome... kind... sexy, gentleman," you breathed against his skin before finding that sweet spot just below his ear, marking him. "I could fuck you right now."

"Is that so?" He hummed as you nodded. "Why don't you?"

Lifting your head and looking deeply into his own, you shook your head, "I just told my brother about us..."

"And you also brought me up to your bedroom in front of him," he added. "Not like he can do anything about it."

"Not now," you sighed, sitting up and pulling off of him, earning a groan from Eren. "I need to check on my garden."

"Sure, leave my dick aching while you water your flowers," he groaned, arms crossed behind his head as he started at the ceiling.

"Come on, help me," you tugged at his jeans, Eren looking at you with an eyebrow arched before he forced himself up with a lazy groan. "If you help me, I can finish faster, and then I can fuck you."

Before you could process it, you were in Eren's arms, making your way down the stairs and towards your tiny backyard. "You better keep your word."

"You feeling better?" Annie asked, sitting across from Porco. There was a local cafe they met at weekly—as long as their schedules allowed it. Porco, Pieck, Annie, Reiner, and Bertolt taking the same outdoor table, talking about their week, work, and life. This time around, Pieck requested it be earlier after the previous night's events.

"Yeah, totally, after you kicked the shit out of me," Porco glared, rubbing his side that still ached from Annie's beating. When you had left with Eren, Porco got his karma in the shape of Annie's sneaker covered foot. "Still fucking hurts."

"Good, now you know how Eren's face feels," she crossed her arms.

"Though I'm sure your sister kissed it better," Reiner teased, earning a low curse from Porco telling him to fuck off.

"Alright you two," Pieck spoke up. "So tell us what happened before you got here."

Sighing, Porco leaned back in his chair, "she came with Yeager, scolded me, proceeded to tell me she's in love with him and he loves her... threatened to move out, I apologized, then they went up to her... room..." he frowned, crossing his arms. "God knows what the fuck they're doing all alone there. I shouldn't have left—"

"Your legal step sister alone... in a home she helps pay for... What are you? Her father?" Bertolt scoffed. "Let her be, stop worrying so much, you'll lose the top part of your hair like you did the sides—"

"It's a fucking hairstyle, Gumby!" Porco snapped, earning stifled laughter from the rest of the group. "Whatever, I know she's legal and basically an adult now, but Yeager better not fucking hurt her."

"I'm sure he's broken her back plenty—"

"Fuck you, Braun!" Porco shouted, standing up and pointing, only to be tugged back down to his seat by Pieck. "I don't want to think about it!"

Lifting up his hands in defense, Reiner leaned back in his seat, "I'm just stating the obvious. I've seen her walking funny plenty of times and I've caught them fu—" cutting himself off, Reiner scratched at his goatee. "Never mind."

Blinking as Porco eyed him in shock, he clutched onto the seat he was in. "You... caught... them?"

"Like... once or twice—"

"Once or twice?!" Porco exclaimed.

"More like a handful," Annie added, earning a look from Porco. "What? Your step sister isn't innocent. None of us are. Why are you so damn surprised? Good for her for getting action from a man who makes her happy. I wouldn't want anything less."

"That's because you're always on her side!" Porco cried out as Annie shrugged while Reiner looked anywhere else but at Porco. "You too, Reiner! No surprising there since you guys always take her side!"

"What? I like her more than you, anyway," Reiner was now the one shrugging as Annie nodded in agreement.

Sinking into his seat and crossing his arms like a stubborn child, Pieck rubbed his upper arm as he mumbled, "assholes..."

"I haven't done this since I was little," Eren said as he wiped some sweat from his forehead, leaning back on the lawn chair after pulling his hair back into a low bun.

"Garden?" You asked, handing him a water bottle as you sipped on your own.

Nodding his head as he twisted the cap off, bringing the bottle to his lips and nearly chugging its entire contents, you watched in awe. The water slipped down his chin and along the side of his neck, causing you to bit your inner lip. "Yeah, my mom had her own garden in my childhood home. It was her favorite place to be. She always had me watering the plants when I was a kid, she was always the happiest when we were out there, surrounded by the flowers and under the sun."

Snapping out of your thoughts, you settled your bottle down besides his now empty one on the small, wobbly table. "That's so sweet... No wonder you're so good at watering," you teased, moving to sit on your knees. Eren sat with his legs spread, the space in between his thighs now being occupied by you. Your hands reached up to his shoulders, smiling at the sound of Eren's small laugh.

"I'm good at other things," He said in a much more hushed tone, eyes lowering to your lips.

Repositioning yourself as your legs now hung over his thighs, either knee pressed into his sides, you scooted yourself closer. "Like what?" You asked, moving your hands to his flannel, unbuttoning the remaining buttons before opening it up.

Moving his hands onto your thighs, giving them a squeeze, he pulled you even closer to feel his hardness. A small gasp left you as Eren leaned in and blew against your ear, biting onto your earlobe and whispering, "making you wet, of course." You felt his hands move higher, slipping underneath the loose shorts you were in. That morning, you had borrowed one of Eren's shirts and gym shorts, though baggy, it was better than staying in the dress you wore the night before.

Eren's fingers slid underneath your panties, gripping your ass before pushing your hips against his. A small whine left you before you huffed, "Eren... Someone could hear us..."

"Then you'll just have to be quiet," he whispered, lips now hovering over your own. "I'll be quick."

In a matter of seconds, Eren's hand dipped through the front of your shorts, into your panties and against your heat. Your slick coated his fingers as he swiped his fingers up your pussy, then finding your bud. Rubbing circles and making you squirm, Eren smiled against your lips as he kissed you, swallowing your moans as his tongue slithered into your mouth. Your heart raced as his finger prodded your entrance, pushing in as you bucked your hips. Using his free hand to press against your ass as he began to thrust his finger, he pulled out and added a second one. Your mouths just barely grazed one another, kissing the corners, his chin, your saliva spreading. Your eyes squeezed as Eren thrusted his fingers in you, curling and finding the spot that'd make you come. "Eren..."

"I said I'd make this quick," he mumbled against your cheek, pushing his fingers deeper as his thumb pressed against your clit. "I'm keeping my word."

Burying your fingers into his hair, as you turned his head so he could kiss you properly, your lips desperately met his as you chased your release. You clenched around his fingers as he continued his ministrations until your juices coated his hand; and just as you shook against him as you came, Eren pulled out his fingers and presented them to you. Your chest heaved as you watched him bring his slick covered fingers into his mouth, licking away every bit of you from them. "That's..." Not even bothering to finish your sentence, you pulled him back into the kiss, earning a chuckle from him as you eagerly kissed him.

"Not again!"

Pulling back and seeing Porco (amongst Pieck, Annie, Bertolt and Reiner) standing at the sliding glass doors, you covered your mouth. Pieck gave you a sweet smile as Reiner gave you a thumbs up, Annie carrying a look of indifference (though keeping an eye on Porco) while Bertolt fought a grin. Eren looked over his shoulders at the crowd and sighed.

"I said—" before he could finish, Pieck pulled him away as Annie and Bertolt followed, Reiner giving you a big grin, mouthing good for you! before Annie reached for him and yanked him back.

Smiling while shaking your head, your eyes left Reiner before settling on Eren. Your eyes then widened, "I hope he only saw us kissing..."

"Well, he couldn't see much anyway with my back facing him. Not like Annie and Reiner haven't caught us plenty—"

"Eren," you groaned.

"Don't worry," he said, kissing you once more before leaning back and smiling at you, "now Pock knows our secret and can't do shit about it."

#eren yeager #eren jaeger #eren yeager x you #eren yeager x y/n #eren yeager x reader #eren yeager smut #eren jaeger smut #eren jaeger x y/n #eren jaeger x reader #eren jaeger x you #aot smut #aot #aot au #eren yeager au #eren jaeger au #haruno writes;

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correctional-transition · 4 months

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Not trans, don't have a detrans kink, just genuinely curious and it seemed you might be willing to discuss the topic a little. I'm not trying to kink shame but my first thought on detrans was "this is transphobic". A lot of detrans posts I've seen repeat rhetoric that transphobes use in a degrading way or just straight up express positivity towards transphobes. So I kind of just wanted to ask, how is this kink separated from just actual reinforcement of internalized transphobia? Just the consent of the individual? Because even with consent (from an outsider's perspective) it kind of seems like a form of self harm? At what point does the kink stop, bc it seems like a lot of people actually mess up their mental image? Once again, no hate intended I was just wondering if you have an answer for any of these questions

Honestly this goes for almost any and all extreme kinks from cnc, age play, detrans/misgen, orientation play, etc.

I don't judge anyone on their kinks and although I will never understand some of them to the point of enjoying them I can understand a lot of them can be developed from different things.

Now I'd like to make it clear that this is all OPINION and it cannot be true fact as I have done 0 research onto the topic of how kinks start or the statistics of bad vs good (which are all subjective) within kink.

A lot of kinks can be seen as bad to people because it goes against a lot of social acceptance such as the detrans/misgen because outside of kink if you saw that you'd say "wtf. That's transphobic. You're a bad person." Whereas within a consensual kink environment it is more openly used as a form of self discovery, acceptance of the world and even coping mechanism. It can, however, still contain bad apples. You can still have transphobes playing within the kink and these people SHOULD NOT BE and you should ALWAYS watch out for people like these in ANY kink. When it comes to bad apples you want to look out for red flags such as "doesn't separate kink from reality", "doesn't provide aftercare", "doesn't support who I really am", "ignores the boundaries and limits I've placed to keep myself safe". And sadly there are a few people who do use it as a form of self harm so you need to be careful with people like that as their mental health matters but it can impact your own mental health too (both in negative and positive ways)

Kink stops ultimately when someone wants to. Everyone is different. Some people make the kink a reality becomes for some people it was used as self discovery and that's how they realised they may be more comfortable as a woman or man or non-binary etc. Some people stop immediately because they realise they were just trying to hurt themselves with the kink and that's not what they wanted to do.

Thats all I can really say atm off the top of my head on this matter but I'd love for some of my followers to also include their own thoughts and opinions in the comments or reblogs because I think its important to have a collective view/opinion on a matter like this as its completely subjective and so everyone's perspective will be different ♡

#ftm detrans kink #ftm correctional therapy #mtf detrans kink #mtf correctional therapy #ct asks

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enigma-absolute · 1 month

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List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals and followers :)

…This is gonna make a total of 15 but oh BOY

This was mentioned in a previous ask before but singing a whole cover of ‘Rainbow Connection’ I did with friends joining me on the last third of it. It makes it extra special and I want to post it on here, but I’d rather ask the friend who I’d made this for, with posting permissions first.

Honestly? My silly little neopixel lightsaber I’ve (unwisely, in my mother’s opinion) bought at a recent con. It lights up, it makes noises, I can change the blade colour bc of the light, it’s so far everything I’ve wanted in a cheeky laser sword prop.

On a related note, my silly little sword collection! A LARP foam sword, a wooden katana, and even a steel replica of Sting, also from that same con over a few years!

Fashion! Me from 10 years ago being on this hellsite for the first year would never believe it, but growing and defining my own sense of style and aesthetics over time has not only been fun, but I *feel* happier too. I know what I like and what I don’t, and I’m still learning!

The very fact that I was blessed to go to the uni I did. Sure, the culture is different there compared to of course, my old high school and bible college, but I loved what I studied (more rather than less!) and I’m still in touch with people I’m honoured to call friends. To think some of those cool people live near or in the same city as me!

Not to be simple, but, music! I’ve been getting back into some of my favourite songs and remixes from The Living Tombstone as one point, (Long Time Friends you angy catharsis tune), but also listening to playlists I’ve curated for OCs and Stories and even shared songs with me and my friends over on Spotify has been fun!

Travel!!!! I didn’t know how much I’ve missed travel until my Singapore trip earlier this year - I missed boarding planes, taking off and landing, I missed going out to places like malls and cafes and food and friends outside of my own country. I missed the new sights to see and the good vibes to encounter when you look in the right places. And having my first taste of independent sightseeing at the botanical gardens felt like something new was set in stone.

As of recent, RP has been somewhat active between me and a couple buddies on discord. To the Chrumblr RP gang and Star Wars discord RP server: I love you and I'm grateful you allow me to bring plorbo from my brain into Situations with the characters you play!!!

Painting!!! I haven't touched it in a bit since I've been busy with other things, but I adore, ADORE watercolour and gouache painting. It brings me joy to mix colours and use my palettes to bring characters and situations to life, and I even have a whole sketchbook from 2022-2023 dedicated to just paintings. Sketchy paintings, refined ones - the only goal was to PAINT.

The crochet sunflowers I bought last year! I've got a tiny potted one on my study's windowsill with a broken Miles Morales Spidey keychain, and a longer simpler one in a glass bottle in my bedroom. I really wanna get more crochet flowers, but they were from this one random stall that set itself up like, twice overall at uni last year. That being said, I adore them.

From the same con I got my lightsaber on, I got lucky to buy a print poster of A New Hope from Lucasfilms artist Mark Raats direct. I'm not kidding, and we even had a chat and I did a little 'handy-dandy-notebook' portrait of him in line, even getting to airdrop that to him! Best bit, the poster was $30 on INCREDIBLY archival paper. I just need to get a frame for it...

Just recently, I'd gotten a haircut for the dry ends and long, thick fringe; and can I say??? I love my hairdresser? She's a really sweet Japanese lady who came from just outside Osaka and she's out here in my city doing the best and she once cut my fringe to my standards SO quickly than other hairdressers - I was stunned! I'm deeply grateful to have her work on my hair, and I could not thank her enough.

This is a bit silly somewhat to me, but I love the brown messenger bag I'd bought for myself end of last year as a treat to myself for finishing honours. Did the side strap holders snap twice? Yes. Do I care? no. I love this thing, it feels so *right* for adventure and it brings me so much joy.

Something that makes me smile if I glance at it in my study is my shelf of books. Not sketchbooks, not notebooks that have been filled (though I am proud of that too!), just proper books. From comics to 'Tales from the Loop' and cabin architecture and treehouses, and recently a couple Star Wars visual dictionaries from Pablo Hidalgo... I'm gonna need more space soon. (Shoutout to the copy of Farenheit 451 that legit made me scream and kick my feet because BRADBURY.)

Honestly? Just… friends. Online, real life - if I think about you too hard, I’ll cry. I’m blessed to have met friends online In Real Life (looking at you Swift and uni mates!), and blessed to have mailed and wrote and created silly little things to share my love with ‘em. Good are the ones that stick with you. 💙 Get loved, nerds.

#enni answers #seeking-elsewhither #lilliesandlight #pma #long post

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hashtagloveloses · 10 months

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hi hashtagloveloses,

I'm a new user and saw your post about reblogs. Is there anything else I should pay attention to? Could you tell me if there is a post or guide or something I can consult on how tumblr works? I'm still getting really lost here and have trouble finding anything.

there’s actually an official staff blog with a bunch of good tips called @tips everybody should know about! but off the top of my head also:

1) make sure you have a profile photo. you don’t need a cover photo you can even just turn that off in your blog settings. this is to make sure people don’t think you’re a bot

2) have a different username here than you have other places and don’t share personal information of any kind here (huge mistake i made….). despite what some people say you do not need to share anything about ur sexuality, pronouns, diagnoses, opinions, etc. frankly if i could advise my younger self, i’d say just don’t make original posts or comments at all (if u wanna make commentary in reblog tags maybe?). use a diary or a journal instead of original posts about yourself or your opinions or comments on others’ posts. even if you delete your blog or change your username, the reblogs of things you say live on here forever.

4) reblog instead of like, and tag posts with what they’re about when you post and reblog (this is something i don’t do as much as i should bc im often on mobile and don’t feel like it and only do it for original posts). at least make sure you’re tagging for common content warnings and spoilers. don’t censor words in posts or tags if you’re trying to tag, bc that breaks people’s mute/blocklists. DO censor words/tags if you’re talking about something you don’t want to clog the tag for or attract attention to or something.

5) if you personally want to keep track of original posts, asks, and queued posts, create tags you use for each of those and on mobile manually tag with them every time you do one of those posts, and on desktop you can have an extension do it. in your blog settings you can make like your original post tag one of your “featured tags” if you want easy access, or other people to be able to see, which just means when they hit the search bar on your blog it’s suggested.

6) make sure you go to your dashboard settings and turn OFF “best things first”. i keep on the other algorithmic stuff like showing stuff based on likes as well, and i flip between the various feeds, but most of what you should be doing is following blogs that post or reblog what you like, following the TAGS of things you like, and those will appear chronologically in your regular dash “following” feed.

7) freely block, unfollow, and filter/mute people and topics. do not feel like you have any obligation to anyone. curate your experience on here.

8) turn off submissions on your blog, and turn off anon asks or even asks all together if you don’t want them. you are not obligated to answer every ask or even have an open ask box. you should also take a look at your settings for private messages and replies to set them to what you’re comfortable with.

9) how i use notifications is different than a lot of ppl bc i get a LOT of them but explore how the Activity and notifications page works to your favor, but turn off push notifs and as much as you can. followers, likes, etc, do not matter that much here if you’re not trying to build a following for art or something and you shouldn’t pay attention to it other than just for fun.

10) learn what T*RF, SW*RF, and white supremacist dogwhistles are and how to spot them bc they can still be prevalent on here and you may not realize. a lot of seemingly normal posts about feminism on here can be crypto t*rf shit so you need to learn how to spot it. (those kinds of posts spread to a lot of platforms and people don’t realize….)

11) do not get into discourse on here. of any kind. even if you’re right. some idiot will drain the life out of you arguing with you and people get weird. you’re not gonna convince people online of anything in a discourse fight most of the time and you will only come out of it drained or harassed yourself (frankly this is good advice for anywhere and sometimes even i slip up). in general even on here where engagement is not encouraged as much, every platform has engagement bait and discourse either purposely seeded to piss you off, or if it’s not on purpose it’s still pushed by algorithms.

12) for things like news, etc, this is general online advice but make sure you’re practicing basic media literacy to check how real a headline or a video or something is. what’s the source? how old is it? did they provide sources? etc

13) DO NOT REPOST ART. EITHER FROM HERE OR FROM OTHER WEBSITES. unless the artist says you can repost it (and you need to do so with credit, and look and see if they need to give permission). do not REBLOG reposted art either. you may find it in tags sometimes. do not encourage that behavior.

14) to that same end, do not post AI bullshit here. chatGPT, character AI, voiceover deepfakes, AI videos, etc. don’t do or support those in general but don’t post that shit here

15) in general, and this is something i try to tell people on EVERY platform, remember that what you see people discussing online is often a small minority of what most people think or feel. it may FEEL like everyone is talking about a certain thing, or fighting about a certain thing, but it does not represent the whole. there’s so many discourses where people are like “why do x always say y” and i’m like well they don’t. the very online segment of x often say y bc it gets engagement or bc they are very loud. (this isn’t the case for everything but it happens often for very stupid topics). this isn’t to dismiss important conversations had online by a minority of people that aren’t being discussed wider enough either - bc that also does happen. but that is often for things that are more important than like, the same movie sex scene discourse i see on twitter every 2 weeks.

16) don’t feel any obligation to your “followers”. you are not an influencer you are just here having fun, and your followers follow for the things you reblog, not for you. be FREE.

17) on desktop browser, get the XKit Rewritten extension and go wild with the settings. its a really nice tool and has a lot of good features, like the quick reblog and queue features that give you those auto tags and stuff. (also if you aren’t already using Ublock Origin extension as your adblocker on desktop, get that too).

18) if you have an iphone, apple store limits what they can show you within the app, so if you want to look at more NSFW, the mobile browser version of tumblr is quite decent. but also go to your blog settings on desktop and make sure your settings of what it is showing you on your dash include sensitive content (even if you set it to have a filter over it at first), bc it sometimes autoflags random shit as “sensitive”. also play with your dashboard filters with tags for nsfw content to your comfort - it wont remove it it’ll just put a thing over it so it doesn’t pop up in public accidentally before you click to look at it.

#ask #tumblr tips

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elixlozgamer · 2 years

Text

Im probably gonna get a lot of hate. Im probably gonna get death threats in my ask box (again. Yes Im looking at you "kill the soldiers" anon. Speaking of which, anon will be OFF until this post stops getting notifs. Block me if you don't want to see any other opinions than you own, because I'm allowed to have them.)

Rest of PSA is below the cut. TW for mention of death threats and possible cussing.

But we do NOT need to send death threats, things with smutty themes, etc. Into a celebrities ask box all because they're gonna be on this site.

They're people just as much as we are. If you don't like them, theres a handy-dandy feature called "blocking and moving on". Not writing rude messages. Not saying "Blazing a post is a pvp attack". (Because god forbid an artist use a feature to be seen)

I understand not wanting big corps to make their way on Tumblr. Believe me, I do. However Tumblr's advertising (or at least on mobile) is easilly skippable/you can scroll past or actually look at the ad if its somewhat interesting.

Also, Tumblr sells shoelaces for 19 dollars. That should only be like three dollars, but it shows that it really does need the money. (@indigoartistqueen mentioned that, along with other various things in this article) Such as paying programmers to create new features. Paying artists to create new logos and themes. paying the employees that check out the reports. (which I am rlly sorry for them bc I just so happen to keep finding really rude comments or things shipping an 8 year old with an 1000 year old.)

So, if tumblr got a little more money, then merch will cost less. Features will cost less. You can crab someone for less for goodness sakes. (Speaking if which, if you REALLY hate a celeb that badly, run them off with crabs.) But tumblr, just like any other site and app, NEEDS money to keep it running.

Also, don't you think SOME form of algorithm will be good? Or at least better search results? Because artists do tend to use very different tags. (Like memes, funny, lmao, lol, etc.) All that could be grouped under "Funny" so that people can actually find and search for their content easier.

Not to mention that with the way the tumblr staff are, I highly doubt they're gonna be implementing things that will cause a riot from their supporters, like the algorithm, bc the blogs ARE the algorythm, reblogging stuff they like to spread it out.

But just a better tagging system! i myself have stopped posting art as much because I just DON'T get seen! People just don't like or reblog my work, but if I were to blaze it, I would suddenly have 1,000 notes full of threats and "this is a pvp attack. Everybody block on sight."

Now, getting back to the celebrity thing. So many people have said that they don't want any political opinions to divide this site. Well I'd hate to break it to you, but we have, in some form, a type of political dispute. Usually its over the type of view one should have on a fiction character. How you can interpret them. What headcanons are correct. Which fandoms better. Which characters hotter. I could go on over the disputes! Plus the political side of tumblr! Science side of tumblr! Religous site on tumblr!

It never ends! If you don't like a celebrity, DON'T SEND DEATH THREATS TO THEIR ASK BOX! Some will actually commit it! Instead, BLOCK. THEM. It's easy! Don't pay attention to it! Just block them. If you really don't like them, send a cursed image, like I don't know, Patrick Star in stripper heels! A perfect circle thats slightly off! Do NOT send threats, because they're humans just like you! (Or as a Fairy myself, xenogenders as well)

Point is, quit trying to run celebrities off this site all because you're afraid of contriversal opinions that you don't agree with! Just block them! It's there for a reason! It's not like roblox where you can only block 100 people total!

Use the block feature. Don't fight fire with fire. It will ONLY get worse. You don't see firemen using flamethrowers, do you??? No! Please for the LOVE OF WHOEVER OR WHATEVER YOU BELIEVE IN quit spreading hate! It only makes things worse! You're only making yourself worse! Just because tumblr is an anonymous site does not mean you can do whatever you want... Because guess what? There's other humans right behind that post you just saw! (Unless its a bot ofc, that's a different story for another time)

Respectfully, have a good day. If you don't like my opinion, block me. If you send me a threat, I'll block and report you.

#psa #important #tumblr #ryan reynolds #john green #celebrities #politics #tw death threats

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shotofstress · 11 months

Text

Response to an aggressive post.

User @toaster-trash made a post basically to mock and attack me with fallacies bc I disagree with them, so I'll make this post to reply since replying to their own post would be giving them reblogs and promoting their toxic behavior that is fulled by their followers.

You open the post by saying that you had a bad week and that you are pity. Sorry you feel that way or someone make u feel that way and that ur week was bad, but this is not relevant to the argument, is just a falacy of emotion. I disagree with you and u made a tantrum. You first of all don't know what is text and what is disidentification, also called misrecogition. which is enough to call out your post as having zero relevance. But given you are just a misguided person i will continue.

You said "we’ve got to decipher because English apparently isn’t this person’s forte for someone who is, apparently, such an avid reader and esteemed critic of English literature". So you mocking my english, doing ad hominem fallacy, that's sad. Then you keep the shitty tone saying that, according to you i am an "avid reader and esteemed critic of English literature". So you are literally need to mock bc i disagree with you, and u have to put me in a fake altar that i didn't put my self, u are trying to look pity. U tried to attack me by impliying that i feel myself some sort of academic or authority figure bc is more easy to use the apeal to pity. All this is ad hominem fallacy (an attempt to invalidate an opponent’s position based on a personal trait or fact about the opponent rather than through logic), a straw men fallacy, and appeal to pity fallacy . You are not a fighter for saying u embrace ur petiness, at countrary, is like when dude bros are reactionary.

"Wonder what kind of backup they’ll have for that argument." The whole book. We literally have the whole book. When u tell basically that nothing matter bc we are on tumblr, and that"Who actually gives a flying fuck? I don’t.", but then rant in a angry post.

The whole paragraph of "autistics have always existed and ppl can see themselves in old texts" is trying to fight an imaginary comment that i didn't make bc I didin't said that we can't see ourselves in the texts, I said that Victor is not autistic. You read in a wrong way my comment and create from the thin air that I think (which i don't) that we can't see things that reminded us of our experiences. One thing is text, and other is desidentification.

"Just because in the 18th century people didn’t necessarily have the language for things doesn’t mean they didn’t exist". I didn't say that we didn't exist, so u are lying, and saying fallacies.

"do we have to revert back to speaking in early 19th century English every time we want to refer to a character who was written back then as neurodivergent or lgbt or anything else??" Fallacy again. I didn't say we need to speak in 19th century English when talikng about texts from that period. You are going off topic, going on a tangent of your own making to attack. You constantly deviate from the argument you intend to make because you know deep down that you are wrong. We've always been around, no one is saying the countrary. I find your attacks disrespectful.

"I can’t even be bothered to explain and to be honest every single other person I’ve said “Frankenstein is autistic to” has immediately responded “oh yeah, obviously” U can't bothered yet u make a post in which u bothered, and really lack of evidence. U are doing desidentification, nothing else, which is not bad, is valid, but is wrong and shitty when u need to make reactionary posts bc I disagree with you and u keep telling Victor is autistic and gay even when what u mean is desidentification and giving no actual text evidence, you are just giving opinions. I don't think Mary would had made Victor gay and as a blatant representation of Percy if he were gay (or queer) bc at the time that would have been like putting a bulleye in Percy's back and I don't think she wanted him hanged.

You keep saying that "what’s the harm in reading him that way?", but really keep writing in the whole post that is not a opinion, but text. I repeat, you need to understand the diference. You can feel that a characters speaks to you, but that doesn't make the character be autistic or gay nor both. You want to see yourself? support and read books about bisexual people wrote by bisexual writers.

"Also, they’re cousins/adopted siblings. If you don’t think that’s fucked up, even by the standards of the time, I’m not really sure what to say to you." Was that someting discused in your post? no, it wasn't, and that it was something that happened back then dosen't make it ok or make me agree with it. "If you don't think", well, we never discused it, it never appeared in the original post so u don't asked nor i speak about it or my opinion about it. I find it fucked up. Not part of the argument still, u just implying with no evidence that maybe im ok with it. More fallacies on your part and deviations from the argument.

You bring up The Vampyre, written by Polidori. It's not on topic, is not even part of the books that the Creature reads. The Vampyre was one of the texts that took place during the famous stay at Byron's mansion, where he, Polidori, Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley, and Percy Shelly went. The Vampyre is based on the nasty Byron who treated Polidori (and a lot of other ppl) badly. Everyone in the group considered Byron to a greater or lesser extent as an unpleasant, petulant, egotistical man and that he believed that he could do whatever he wanted just by having money, being a man and being famous. You know who else was like pretty much like that? Percy Shelly and too many other writers of that time, and anything of this makes Victor gay, it just shows that Polidori and Shelly could draft bad men indifferent to women and others for disinterest, lack of empathy, and patriarchal behavior. Even if Percy was gay (I say gay in place of queer bc is what u say, he could had been pan for all matters), that doesn't make Victor gay. If Mary would wanted to make an statement on bad gay men in Frankenstein she would had make Clerval a copy of Byron or being pretty explicit about it.

"For one thing, just the fact that he’s so particular about creating “the perfect man” is subject to a lot of queer readings in itself". Head canons, personal readings, valid ways, but not text. Victor don't care about his girlfriend and future wife bc he cares only about himself and his fantasies of power and be superior to others and god. You can say that u feel some queer element, but not that Victor is gay. Victor is deeply mysoginistic and patriarcal, he wants to create the perfect man bc he don't think women are any ideal being, is infered that he finds them inferior, and that only the man can be perfect. For him, then, only a man can create perfection bc is not a women. Only a man, that is seen as logic, no controled by his emotions like women, and all that mysoginistic shit, can make the perfect human which is, of course, a man. Shelly show us that society by killing a mother, a bride, a maid, a little girl. In patriarcal society the norm is being homo afective, all must love men, specially men bc they see themselves as perfect and better than everyone else. That a society encourages that men see the world througth patriarcal lents don't make all men gay. Clerval makes us see how bad Victor was by contrast and how his behavior led Clerval and all the other characters to die. Mary W. S. portrait (we could say in some degree) her feelings about Percy and their situation in Elizabeth Lavenza and her interactions with Victor and other characters. Clerval can be seen not as the love interest of Victor, but as the type of friend that Mary would liked that Percy had bc non of his friends cared about her really nor cared well for him. Let's remember that Byron was ok with Percy leaving Mary, who recently loss a child and was deeply depresed and in bad health in general, going on a boat even when he didn't knew how to swimm and ended with Percy dead. Victor, as Percy, prefered men over women bc mysoginia, not bc he was gay. We really need to stop this idea and reading, this troop of gay men been bad like if it was bc they are gay and not bc they are men in a patriarcal society.

U are just driven by ur opinions and who you want to be gay, and not about the text. You are just reaaaally angry and frustrated, and even go to my archives to seek for a Frankestein quote bc to this point you can't really make a solid argument. You just keep off topic and even bring other arguments that no one is making bc you know that you are wrong. We need to deal with the fact that not everything has queer text or subtext. Life and literature is not a shitty tv show that makes queer baiting for u to love, sometimes characters will not represent you. Is hard to accept, but is true, and that's why there are tons of queer novels and libraries that just sell that books. We can't keep to see ourselves in media created by people that is not from our communities and that lived centuries ago. We need that gay men write about gay men, trans ppl about trans ppl, bisexual ppl about bisexual ppl, etc.

"“Victor is sexist for cutting women out of the creation process” takes – Christ that’s just gross. And feels mildly if not explicitly homophobic" No one is talking about that, why you try to talk about being homphobic from a quote that, apparently, i guess, point to the misogynistic aspect of Victor? from who is that quote? bc is not mine, i didn't put it in your post, so I don't know why are u using it. You set a quote for a discussion that is irrelevant that I did not say in your post, but that you want to make believe that I said or that I agree or that it is about the topic we are talking about, that victor is not being gay or autistic. Don't make sense. Why is homophobic that quote that u take from who knows where, huh? doesn't make sense unless you want to say that gay men can have kids, and that other ppl besides cis women can have kids which is true, but we are not talking about gay people having kids, nor trans ppl having kids, nor enby ppl having kids.

I think is important to add that Victor was a cruel father to the Creature and Mary Shelly knew too many bad fathers, like her own father (her mother died), she felt abandoned. Percy abandoned all his children as well basically constantly abandoned Mary. Victor don't make a human, a man, bc gay feelings, he did so bc he was a bad men full hybris, misogynia, patriarchy. Victor created a child and then abandoned them as all men in Mary's life did with their own. In the novel women are just a few, but are the ones that cared about children, wellbeing, and life in general, but then they die. Victor cared more about men (father, professor, friend) than about women.

Is worth noticing that Mary believd in free love and was also queer as many of her friends so why would she portrait Victor as an evil gay men? doesn't make sense that she make him a gay that created life bc wants a gay couple or whatever if we try to follow the claim of the tumblr user. She would make the Creature for what? if he already had Clerval, his very best friend? if Victor loved Clerval, then how is the Creature a gay thing? like Toaster could have made other points, but didn't bc their claim is just an opinion without arguments. The Creature didn't have a mother only a father that rejected them but also molded them with the books that were from Victor. Mary didn't have a mother, and was formed by her father and their books, but was rejected by her father. We can say that Mary was the Creature, as we know that the 3 books mentioned that the Creature read were read also by Mary; Lost Paradise (about the pain of Lucifer being rejected by his father god and that the Creature also see themselves in Adam being rejected by god too), Wherter (about an unrequited love between a boy and a girl that end in the young men killin himself), and Lifes (Plutarch wrote bios comparing lives of famous Greeks with those of famous Romans from were the Creature learned about ethics, wrong and virtue). See how the Creature is not a methaphor or reference to gay love?

You constantly and in all the post tried to shift focus by introducing an irrelevant point, mislead, make false dilemas, appeal to ignorance, say or imply inaccurate things and do hasty generalizations for the lack of evidence and that the whole novel don't support your opinions. Your really fell in all the fallacies, including the circular one bc ur whole post is basically "Victor is autistic and gay bc I think victor is autistic and gay". You even did the pity fallacy at the begining. You tried to cherry-picking info, but that didn't even work bc didn't make sense with the real discusion, just with the ones u put to distract, and not even for that worked.

You are just unable to have a real argument, you don't want to admit that you are just complaining bc you didn't liked i disagree with you and can't deal with your feelings and a bad week nor you know how to channel that anger, frustration, and tiredness in a way that is not being a little troll of internet basically. You have nothing. But you can learn to do something about your angry issues and your reactionary behaviour, talk to someone about it, you gonna feel better than having a little validation of reblogs that will not hug you when u feel bad, nor make u a happy person, nor growing up to be a person that is fine with their life. Ur angry mutuals that only validate ur attacks or anger don't want you to be happy or fine, just that yall keep feeling miserable. Being a reactionary troll is just gonna make u feel more alone and angry with yourself and everyone, not making people be part of your life in a good positive way that makes you feel loved.

Edit: i added two paragraphs.

#mary shelly's frankenstein #mary shelley #victor frankenstein #modern literature #victorian literature #actually queer #actually neurodivergent #actually trans #anger issues #bad coping mechanisms

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snow-system-wol · 4 months

Text

Incredibly uncanon to normal Snowverse, BUT hope y'all want the rambles about the "vampire" S'ria AU for Snowverse. (Backstory, details. Gonna put the physiology/anatomy details in a reblog bc this post is already long.)

Let's go:

The very basic background on vampire AU is essentially answering a different question that we refuse to answer in normal snowverse.

Because like. A fact of snowverse (and the reason for the name, since vague flashes of it are S'ria's earliest memories when he's in Limsa) is that there is a Mystery period of time. In between.

Point A: a scrawny teen scrambling off a balcony (has not even fully managed to clean blood off) and then dealing with being in an unfamiliar country, temps below freezing, in a part of town absolutely no miqo'te would normally be.

Point B: Confused and mostly amnesiac teen shows up in Limsa Lominsa

And like, y'know. Did someone help him? Did he somehow get on a boat to Limsa? Sneak onto a magitek ship headed to Eorzea? He doesn't really understand how functioning in society works, he can't even read, like. And just traveling through the wilderness would be deadly, he's barely gotten enough layers on to be outside at all.

In "vampire" AU, that is actually answered. How does a 15-year-old in delicate health set out from the city and head across the least populated part of the ice flats without dying? Well, he doesn't, not really.

S'ria never really saw what attacked him, but he eventually woke up and.. the cold wasn't so bad anymore. He felt strong enough to just *keep walking* until he was very far away (and actually saw people that looked like him and none that looked like Garleans.)

(And if, along that long trek, he mostly tried to eat any prey he caught raw, he didn't need to justify that to himself -- not like he knew how to cook anyway.)

Jacke has his hands even more full than usual taking S'ria in, because it doesn't take long to realize that there's a bit more of a situation than S'ria had thought.

(Anyway the only thing I handwave is like, idk how the aging thing works. It's not true vampirism, just something thematically similar, so he is not still physically 15 a decade later when ARR starts. He looks like an adult as WoL (and dating G'raha remains Fine.))

It also also adds a very fun layer to the point in the plot where instead of asking "who are you?" people start to ask "what are you?" (As Thordan quite literally does before he dies.)

And y'know, of course S'ria knows he's... well, not one of a kind probably, but may as well be. It's the sort of thing that is best kept under wraps, for public perception and all that, but it's more the world's worst kept secret in some ways. It took S'ria and Jacke years of him being sickly and weak to realize that whatever less-than-fresh bottles they were getting from the butcher wasn't what he was meant to be consuming. They make do -- the Rogue's guild is a tight knit group after all.

There are plenty of those willing to help in the Scions, once it's explained how best to keep their WoL fighting fit and strong -- but not all those in the A Team are willing, and even those that are must not overdo it... So it is more of a "Scion-wide" secret, which is only a secret in name anymore.

At least they are quick to laugh off the rumors, that "the Warrior of Light is some sort of blood-drinking beast sounds like Garlean garbage propaganda, doesn't it?" but. Open secret, really.

(I'm sure, given how things are in ffxiv, Voidsent is the category of explanation of what was out there in Garlemald given the sheer variety of traits different ones have. I suppose my thoughts are that ones like him from the Source are extremely rare, as victims are usually killed rather than Changed, but -- perhaps there was a measure of sympathy for some poor young creature who was going to die otherwise.)

On the Scion A Team and their opinions on letting S'ria feed from them:

The twins: both are willing, though Alphinaud is a little more scared of the prospect. S'ria himself refuses though, trying to find a polite way to point out that they're really quite small/young and should keep all their blood where it's meant to be. The only time he's more lax about that with Alphinaud is during HW out of necessity, as the only Ishgardian that should ever know about this situation is Haurchefant.

Urianger: earlier game -- says he would be happy to help, but seems blatantly uncomfortable with the idea (if only on a sensory and skin contact level). This changes somewhat after his time on the First.

Y'shtola: it varies, mostly depending on her trust level towards him in different expansions. She's fine with it in ARR, but is more doubtful of his restraint in like, ShB. (Perhaps reasonably so. He seemed...hungrier and less in control of himself with those last few Lightwardens killed.)

Thancred: pretty consistently fine with it, though he acts way more casual about it than he actually feels. (When he's actually Thancred, of course. Lahabrea categorically refused, mostly just side-eyeing the whole situation for any developments. Nothing under the sun is new to Ascian, but also What the Hell.)

Lyse: S'ria and her are a little awkward around each other in early game and she refuses during ARR, but by the point of SB besties she's much more "alright bon appetit or whatever, get over here" about the whole thing.

G'raha: I'll be honest, I don't think the whole question was even asked before he said yes.

Estinien: there's still a bit of an old knee-jerk reaction of a dragonhunter, that there's something unnatural about that, and then immediately decides "whatever, I've got extra blood". (He is briefly concerned that he might have traces of dragons blood in his veins, but he's pretty sure that wouldn't do anything to S'ria.)

Honorable mentions:

The lalafells: oh noo, S'ria has developed an okay sense of how much is alright to take and is quite sure that'd go badly when applied to someone half his size. Nervously denied regardless of their own stance.

#snow-system #ffxiv-oc #s'ria 🌸❄️#vampire au #y'all get to have these rambles

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doppelnatur · 9 months

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Replies are turned off on the post and I would feel weird talking about this openly on my blog in front of my followers if I reblogged it, so I hope you don't mind me contributing to the conversation via an ask? (I'm discussing abuse specifically bc that's what I have experience with)

I've had similar thoughts as an abuse survivor bc the abuse I experienced was similar in a lot of ways to the oppression I've experienced, but (as a personal opinion) I don't think discussing abuse survivors as their own marginalized class is a useful framework mainly bc of the fact that there's not a coherent oppressor class in abuse. Our current definition of marginalization involves a class benefiting directly or indirectly from pushing another class into the margins of society, and I don't think abuse on its own necessarily fits that definition. It would be difficult to define a class based solely on whether or not individuals have performed specific actions (abusing another person), and when we consider social bias against victims and etc like you mentioned the lines become even blurrier bc those actions are performed by people other than the abuser. I guess the class could be "everyone who hasn't been abused" but that would still be difficult bc people can simultaneously be survivors of abuse and also abusers themselves (as in familial cycles of abuse, for example). There's also the issue that "people who haven't been abused" don't necessarily materially benefit as a class from the fact alone that abuse has occurred or survivors aren't supported. Neurotypical people may have privilege over survivors with PTSD/depression/etc, men may materially benefit from the fact that woman survivors are disempowered, cishet people may benefit as a class from homophobic and transphobic abuse that serves to uphold the cisheteropatriarchy, and so on, but those are examples of existing forms of oppression and I can't personally think of any examples resembling class privilege that aren't

To be clear, I'm not arguing here and I hope it doesn't come across that way. I'm more like philosophizing, I guess? It's an interesting conversation to have and there's definitely something to be said for the similarities between abuse and oppression and how victims of both are treated. I also agree that it's definitely worthwhile to discuss the intersection between abuse survivors and oppressed groups bc there's definitely some sort of something going on where abuse and oppression feed into each other. I don't really have an answer for what else I would call it. Maybe it would be more accurate to say that abuse is a tool of oppression, since they so often go hand in hand and even when the victim isn't part of an oppressed group themself the abuse is usually still acting to uphold oppressive systems in one way or another? (Cis male survivors being emasculated works to uphold misogyny, for example.) But these are my two cents on the discussion if you want them. I'm sorry this turned into an essay 😅

replies look to me to be turned on? Maybe i limited them to only mutuals some time when the transphobes were once again on to my blog sorry about that. 🙈

Thank you so much for all of this!!! You're like completely right I think. And don't worry at all, like that's why i phrased it all as questions and a conversation cause it didn't feel fully right to me either and I think you really do pin point why. I also think often times other survivors who haven't processed the violence they have experienced can be more cruel than people who were never on any side of it. I'm fully including myself in this category, I do not mean to point fingers, which is I think part of why this felt relevant to me, like unlearning my own biases against survivors feels a lot like the unlearning of other -isms.

The only benefitter of violence and the lack of support and accountability systems that actually care for victims' needs I can think of would be the state, which is an institution and not a class of people. But the state as the institution that has the monopoly on legitimized violence would have an interest in the upkeep of social hierarchy through violence and in normalizing the tools it itself uses to exert it's power and it (financially, in the short term) benefits from not taking preventative measures and emergency support and long-term care structures. But that's really abstract and truely not like. An oppressor class. It's kind of a similar conversation to when people were talking about how schools often actually benefit from bullying and refuse to acknowledge the actual causes of it.

But yeah like what you're saying about abuse as a tool of oppression makes a lot of sense. Maybe a term like rape culture would be more helpful than like what I suggested? Maybe denial culture, but that sounds too gentle almost? I think what I want from this is some sort of framework for unifying the struggles of survivors of all kinds and for talking about the ways in which people are biased against believing and supporting survivors and also how like the structures we live within are actively hostile to acknowledging huge sources of stress and trauma like the climate crisis but also oppression and marginalization, genocides, etc and also to building effective supports for the people harmed.

still not sure if this is making sense but thank you so so much for your contribution that's really helpful!

#I'm just trying to articulate some sort of framework here to like help myself tie together the connections I think I'm seeing #But I'm not sure it's working I'm trying not a political philosopher or anything #Ask #Ohh also should I add this to the post? I can for sure do that!

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azems-familiar · 6 months

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to be fucking honest with you im fairly certain that prev anon was just a troll. specially since your likes aren't actually public? i mean like straight up we can't see ur likes and also getting posts recomended to you is 'based on your following' but never tells you exact blogs that its based off of? so unless anon was like,,,, only following you? they were trolling. at least im like 95% certain thats whats up. hope they get a hobby!

me too! spending all your time stalking people on the internet to figure out if they have the "acceptable" opinions or not is so detrimental to your mental health! i really did notice that so i'm... scratching my head, but i'll be honest i privated my likes today after getting the first ask from them bc if people are willing to spend time snooping my liked posts - of which there are MANY i like every post i reblog - to figure out my opinions on things like this i do not need that in my life. so it's possible they were literally just stalking my likes.

i hope not. no one should do that. that's just hurting yourself.

anyway bless you have a good night <3

#asked and answered #almost turned anon off after that but i've had it on for almost 8 fuckin years #we're not getting rid of it now

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karlmarxmaybe · 1 year

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ASKING FOR ADVICE TO HELP AN ABUSED CHILD

I know of a trans Canadian child whose parents are transphobic and abusive. He's at high risk of self-harm. I don't know much info about him (name, specific region of Canada he lives in) bc I only know him from his youtube channel. If you know how I can help him, please answer or message me. Details about the situation below.

TW: child abuse, neglect, transphobia, CSA, suicide attempt

Hello. I recently found a very tiny youtube channel that posts gameplays, tiktoks and clips of animated shows. It is run by a teenager (I don't know his age for sure) who makes community posts talking about his terrible life situation. He is a trans boy and his parents are very transphobic, they actively gaslight him and tell him nobody cares about him, they forbid him from talking to people and are actively infringing his rights. He also talks about being repeatedly sexually assaulted and abused by classmates at his school, in 4th grade. His mother's husband installed a camera in the living room and it makes him feel unsafe. He shows signs of PTSD and has attempted suicide various times. He needs immediate help.

I tried calling Canadian child servicies but they need to know for which region of Canada I'm calling and I don't know which region he lives in (I only know he's located in Canada from his youtube info). I am trying the Canadian trans helpline but it's always occupied. I don't know what else to do.

Please, someone who knows how I can help respond or message me. If you don't know how to help reblog so it can get to someone who knows. Please, we have to help him.

I have transcribed some of his posts below so you have more info. Again, trigger warnings for child abuse, neglect, transphobia, CSA and suicide attempt.

Post from a year ago:

I always thought that no matter how bad things got at home i would still have school and i wouldn't really get hurt or touched but not anymore | guess. So last Wednesday a boy classmate of mine kneed me on the butt and when another classmate confronted him he just played it off as a joke then today durning second recess a girl in the other __th grade class came up to me randomly and slapped me on the butt and when | told her to stop and leave me alone the boy from last Wednesday came and kicked me on the butt then the girl came and slapped me on the butt a second time and then ran. When | tried to tell a teacher that was on duty she told the girl that she's not in trouble and to just talk it out with me. Worst part of it is | thought of her as a friend and multiple people were telling the girl to leave me alone.

Post from 10 months ago:

Just found out my parents secretly his acamera in the living room and now | feel,unsafe? Now, idk if unsafe is the right wordbut once | saw it | started getting anxiousalmost immediately. | know it's just a camera and it's in the living room instead of a bedroom or bathroom but still, there shouldn't BE a camera anywhere anyways.

Post from 9 months ago:

My mom and her husband keep acting sexual with each other, which isn't unexpected, they're two adults who are married to each other but what | mean by this is they'll act sexual almost anywhere but alone in their room, mostly in the kitchen. So lately whenever | go into the kitchen whether it be because they called me or both my siblings name making me think they want me or because I'm hungry, and when | see them being sexual with each other, my mom blames me because "| should know better" then tells me about doing explicit stuff with her husband then gets mad at me for being upset

Think of what | said like a AITA reddit post, I basically just want an opinion on the situation

Post from 3months ago:

does anyone else feel like they're going insane due to their parents? turns out that a shit ton of the stuff my mother has taught me is just all bullshit lies that have ruined my life in so many ways, and my stepdad constently tells me that he's going to kill my cat and if i had blue eyes then my mother would love me. and that's not even mentioning the phsyical abuse or anything i've repressed. it all feels like torture but i have to deal with it because everyone has it worse then me and what if i tell another adult? they'll have to get CAS involed then i'll get taken away and put into a worse home and i'll ruin my siblings lives and the entire family all because i was selfish. but what if that was just another one of my mothers lies and it's none of that willhappen??? but what about all those damn documentaries and shows my mother would make me watch of other children that had been put into terrible foster homes?? that means it can happen to me if i don't keep my mouth shut but i feel like i'm slowly going insane and i don't know what to do, there's nothing i can do! do i deserve this because i'm a bad child? or was a bad child? was i bound to live like this? did i do something wrong again and i just can't remember it again??? what do i do??? what have i done??? i don't know anymore and i want this to all stop but the only way to stop it is death but that'll be selfish because what if someone finds my dead body??? what if there's still people that care about me??? then it'll be cruel to end myself when people still care about me because i'll make them sad. i've already ruined so many people's lives while alive i shouldn't continue it while being dead. or is that also not true? is none of it true? is everyone but my parents the ones that are actually correct? i really can't tell anymore and that hurts the most

Post from 3 months ago:

what do I do with transphobic parents?yesterday i had to be with my parents for about 8 hours as my mother screamed at me and told me a bunch of terrible things because she found out i want to be a boy and she refuses to see me as one. some of the things she said is that wanting to be the opposite gender is a mental illness, how she feels like i killed her daughter. she straight told me that she will never accept me and that no matter how much i care about someone nobody really cares about me and everyone will just forget about me in a few years and how the ONLY people that care about me is my mother and step-father. she also forbids me from talking to anyone but i luckily have a secret computer that I've been using to talk to a friend. do i just have to accept all of this? is there anything i can do? i'm not old enough to move out and there's no one outside my household that i can stay with, even if there was my mother would just put up a huge fight having me go back anyways. | don't know what to do, i mean as long as i'm not getting physically hurt then I should just accept basically being mentally tortured, right? | just have to survive 4 more years then i can move far away but i just wantto die more and more everyday, and i was getting better when everyone at school was being accepting but yesterday my mother destroyed all of it. honestly I'll be surprised if I'm still alive in 2 years, and I'm really trying to continue living for my 2 best friends and my cat but if my mom's correct and they don't actually care about me then what the hell's the point. i don't know anymore, please can anyone give me a sliver of advice on how to deal with any of this

Post from 1 month ago:

Sometimes I wonder if both my parents loved me and treated me like human being, raised me with human decency, just like they treat everyone else.

How different would I be? Surely I'd be better, right? Hypothetically? It doesn't matter anyways, | want to die so much I've already tried three times this week and when | tried to ask my mom for a therapist she said | don't need one, she literally signed me up for some sort of waiting list thing and when | finally told her | got a voicemail to call back she told me that | don't need one and started to guilt trip me. | fucking need it, if lanyards didn't snap open easily then | would be dead. The only reason I'm still alive is because the lanyard snaps open whenever | try to hang myself with it and I'm too tires to go searching for something better. | fucking hate this, I'll try to kill myself one night then go to school the next day as if I wouldn't be dead if it weren't for a stupid lanyard. It's stupid and I'm just making people concerned whenever I'm acting "off". Nobody would be concerned about me ever again if | was dead. How many things can | YELL before they finally listen to me? How many things do | have to do before they notice or know? And those statements, or questions, go for everyone in my life. It doesn't matter how much | ask for help or simply show are yell about how I'm not alright everyone just keeps doing what their doing and won't listen until about an hour later of me trying to show I'm upset someone finally notices and | say that | was literally yelling at them and they still didn't even notice me, when that happens they feel bad and start to apologize. For SOME people it now just feels like empty apologizes, while for others | know they have a hard time paying attention especially when someone already has their attention so they get a pass because it's not they mean it. But still. At this point does it really matter? | have a job, a purpose if you will, and that is to protect and care for everyone. But some people | don't want to take care of. | don't want to keep taking care of grown adults who hardly take care of me, but | still have to because | know them. If | die I'll only feel bad for my cat and my 2 best friends. I've lost everything else that made me want to live. My little cousin's, my grandpa, | hardly see my Nana and my mom's cousin/ my "aunt” anymore. | promised to myself that | would protect my cousin's and now they're god knows where and everyone else is some other reason, the worst part might be that they're not dead, they're still alive, | can cope with death much easier than abandonment.But it's whatever. It's life. You lose people and eventually you die. So what's the point anymore? | could kill myself during summer break and nobody but my family would know. At least my friends wouldn't be worried and sorrowful

Post from 3 weeks ago:

My parents took away my mattress, my bedframe is bars, | have no where to sleep buton a broken couch that someone has masturbated on SEVERAL times

Post from 4 days ago:

| hate remembering stuff so much, I've taught myself to forget all the bad memories, so much so that I'm quick to forget even the good memories. But now lately whenever | try to use my method to forget stuff | just remember more. | don't want to remember more. | hate it so much. | don't want to remember all the time's I've been SAd at school. Why the fuck do | have to remember that. | hate remembering what happened each time. | hate remembering being surrounded by several people and all they did was STAND THERE AND FUCKING AS | CRIED AND SCREAMED AT THEM TO STOP. | FUCKING HATE THAT | HAVE TO REMEMBER IT. THEN BEING BLAMED FOR CAUSING A SCENE OR TOLD THAT IT WAS JUST AN ACCIDENT, A MISTAKE. IT WASN'T A FUCKING ACCIDENT. THEY WERE TOLD TO LEAVE ME ALONE BEFORE HAND. THEN WHEN THEY ACTUALLY STARTED SLAPPING MY ASS AND | SCREAMED AT THEM TO STOP THEY FUCKING DIDN'T ALL THEY DID WASLAUGH. so it wasn't a fucking mistake. Infact they would've kept going and it would'vegotten worse if | wasn't saved by the bell. The people | was hanging out with just stared and watched. Out of all the time's I've been SA'd at school only ONE person has even tried to help me, Olivia told D to leave me alone beforehand because she knows | would never want that, especially unexpected and by someone who | hardly knew, even when D and M wouldn't leave me alone Olivia was trying to also scream at them to leave me alone and when the bell rang she ran over to me, put her hand on my back and led me over to our doors, led me up the stairs and helped me to find the French teacher because | trusted her. That was the only time someone tried to help. Not any of the times in 4th grade, and that shit went one everyday for 3 months! And at no point did anyone help me on track and field day, despite being surrounded by so many people all they did was watch or look the other way when | was pinned to the ground and being touched inappropriately by TWO people. So of course | had to fight to get back to standing. And when a teacher finally came over because | was screaming and crying,despite telling them what had just happened they just gave me trouble for causing a scene. | fucking hate all the people that touched me the way they did. | hate that people just stood there and did fucking nothing. And | fucking hate the teachers that just waved me off and said it was fine. | fucking hate remembering shit that | want to desperately forget

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