#also sorry I answered this late I didn’t see it between my notifications from my friends telling me they loved me

[kaleigh-color]

Stop sending flattering asks to yourself you're not fooling anyone

Wow hate mail! I don’t think it would be wrong for someone to send themselves love if they need it. Also why would you care? How does this hurt or affect you anon? Do you want a hug? Do you want me to tell you you’re beautiful? I can tell that you hold some insecurities so if you ever want to talk about it my DMs are open and full of love from not only myself but my friends and strangers telling me that they love my smile. I hope you have a healing holiday and find a way to forgive those who hurt you!

[yeonkimintakecare]

Bad Friends

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Summary: After your friends abandon you on your birthday your forced to interact with your ex for the first time since you broke up with him.

Author's Note: this was very therapeutic to me >_<

This is heavily based on situations from my life, and I kind of went crazy while writing this. So enjoy :)

Warnings: angst, lack of communication, as the title says... bad friendships.

You swam through the sea of drunk people looking for a familiar face. Your efforts were useless, it would seem that your friends have abandoned you while you were 4 drinks in. And it was your birthday. You check your phone to see if they have responded, but there’s no notifications. You check their location on snapchat and it tells you that they are at another club on the other side of the city.

'Some friends you guys are' you think to yourself.

You start to tear up, you felt like your friends had been growing away from you lately, but this cements that feeling. They were the ones that insisted on doing something for your birthday and then they stranded you at the club.

As much as you don’t want to you call your brother, knowing he told you not to go out with these girls, but you have no other way of getting home, your friends had your wallet in their car and they had been paying for your drinks prior to this. You dial your brothers number.

“Hello? What's up? I thought you were out with Ashley and Witney? Are you okay?” Your brother, Taehyung, asks and just like that you can’t hold back your tears. You had missed being this close with him. You guys used to talk all the time, but when you moved away you ghosted him and his girlfriend, Minji, who was like a sister to you.

“I went to the bathroom and they were gone, *sob* I’ve looked all over, they didn’t even text me. I think they left me to go to another club and I have no money and my phone is almost dead and I’m way too *hic* drunk for this.” You say while sobbing.

“Calm down, ____, I’m out of town with Minji but I’ll send somebody to come and get you, just send me your location.” He said calmly.

“Send who?” you ask weakly, fearing that you may already know the answer.

“I’ll ask some of my friends in the city, but most likely it will be Jungkook, I just got off the phone with him and I know he’s not doing anything.” You groaned at his response.

'Fucking great.'

“I know, but you need a ride home and we don’t have a lot of options. Send me your location quick so I can get you home, loser.” He said with a chuckle. You send him your location and 2 minutes later you receive the text

“Sorry dude, Jungkook was the only person who could come and get you right away.” You put your head in your hands and leaned up against the side of the building.

Jungkook was your brother's best friend, but also your ex.

They had been friends since they were preteens and you had dated him for 4 years in high school and college, but you ended things with him because you guys had been fighting constantly. Then you suddenly got a job in another state.

The break up was part of the reason you lost touch with Tae and Minji, you didn't want to make them choose between you and JK. You were scared that they wouldn't choose you, so you left before they could disappoint you.

Unfortunately, things didn’t work out there and you had recently moved back. You started talking to your brother again, you apologized to them both, realizing it was stupid to think that they wouldn't move heaven and earth for you.

but... you haven’t seen Jungkook since you broke up with him. But of course you were so unlucky that you were going to have to see him tonight... while you're drunk... and crying... and completely alone...

Fifteen minutes pass before you see a car that you know too well roll up. You see Jungkook in the driver’s side of the car. He stares at you for a second before giving you a small wave. You give an awkward smile and a head nod before you make your way to his car.

‘God. This is going to be awkward.’

When you step into the car it immediately smells like him, his cologne mixed with his natural smell. There was many times where you smelled something similar that would make you think of him while you were away. Now here you are and it's actually him.

Neither of you speak besides small a small 'hi" and when you briefly asked if it was okay to plug your phone into his charger.

You stare at your lap, twiddling your thumbs. He focuses on the road, eventually your phone turns on and you see decide to go check social media. You open up instagram and you see Witney’s story, and her and Ashley are at a bar with two guys you had seen them talking to earlier. You scoff at the idea of your only friends ditching you on your birthday for men that were strangers. You were beyond pissed.

“Are you okay?” Jungkook asks, putting a hand on one of yours and rubbing his thumb on the back of it. You thought this would make it awkward, but it didn't it felt almost normal. Like this is how it always should have been.

“Maybe, I’m just really drunk right now." You paused. Unsure if you should ask this question. But again, you're too drunk to make normal decisions, so you just do it. "I’m going to ask you a question and I want an honest answer, don’t use kid gloves for me." You stare at him until he gives a small nod, his eyes darting between you and the road.

"Am I really that unlovable?” You say while you feel the tears start to well in your eyes again. You saw his hands tighten around the steering wheel while so hard his knuckles were turning white.

“Now, what in the fuck makes you think that?” He said, obviously trying to not make me feel bad but also wanting to yell at me.

“If I was a lovable person wouldn’t my friends WANT to hang out with me on my birthday? I just feel like I’m such a fucking failure, I couldn’t even make it work at my job and I can’t make friends. And the only person, that’s not my brother, who made me feel safe and comfortable, I pushed away.” You hide your face in your hands as you start to cry. You really must be drunk because somehow this turned into you venting about your feeling to your ex… including your feelings about him.

Jungkook pulls his car over onto the side of the rode and he turns to you and grabs your hands. “You are one of the people in this whole wide world who deserves to be loved. You are one of the kindest people I know and you are beautiful inside and out.” He used one hand to grab yours and the other to hold your face and to make you look at him. “You are not a failure. Sometimes jobs just don’t work out, its okay, you’ll get a new one, and eventually you will find the place that you are meant to be at."

You stare into each other's eyes for awhile. For the first time in awhile, you realize how much you missed this. how much you missed him. He always brought you so much comfort back then, and then you broke his heart. Why couldn't you have just made it work? Why did you feel you had to leave?

"Also your friends suck, that not on you, that’s on them to let you slip away.” he says, breaking the spiral that you had been falling into.

It made you think about why you left back then. You pull your hand from his and turned to look out the window. "Well they always leave anyways, so there's never a reason to get too attached." you say solemnly.

"That's sad that you think that." you turn to see him staring at you, eyebrows furrowed, you look away again, not wanting to see his pity for you. "And also, very untrue."

Your head snaps to look at him. "Excuse me?" you ask, getting defensive.

"it's not true. I think on some level it might be, but at some point you started pushing people away before they could leave you. You pushed me away, I know you're getting close to your brother and Minji again, but when you moved away you ignored them the whole time."

You stare at him, slack jawed. "I'm not the only one at fault here. Not in this car at least. I will admit that I ignored Tae and Minji, and I have apologized to both of them and made my amends. But, need I remind you about what happened between us? We had issues long before I decided to move away. You were distant, you know you were." You start to tear up. This was a constant fight between the two of you back then.

~ flashback - 3 years ago ~

You were sitting on the couch, seething. It was your anniversary and he was going to take you on a date to celebrate the 4 years you have been together. You had been sitting on the couch, ready, for the past three hours. No messages from him, for why he might be late.

Normally, you wouldn't be mad about this, but recently it's become a real problem with him. He never used to be late, but now he always was. You fought with him about it last week, when he was going to help you prepare for a big presentation at your job, but he never showed up.

He called you the day after, apologizing, claiming he got caught up at work, and passed out as soon as he got home. You told him that it hurt that you were "forgettable" to him. This presentation was a big deal for your career, and that you couldn't focus on it because you were wondering if something bad had happened to him. You left a million messages and got nothing back from him.

You still did well on the presentation, but you had stayed up most of the night worrying about him and had forgotten your lunch at home and was going to have to skip it because you were in such a rush to get to work that morning. You fought with him for a while longer and then hung up, needing to get back to work.

An hour later, Jungkook showed up with food from your favorite restaurant and a promise to make it up to you this weekend for your anniversary. You chat with him for a bit, pushing aside your anger, because he's here, right now. putting in the work.

When you return from your lunch you get called into your bosses office. "____, you did amazing in our meeting this morning." You give a smile and a a small nod in thanks. "There's an opening in one of our other city locations. It's quite far away, but I think you might be just the right fit for it."

You sit there, slack jawed for a second. You heard about the position opening in the Chicago location, but you never dreamed of getting it. It's a higher position than you are currently and its highly coveted. "oh, um, thank you, I appreciate the offer, when would I need to go by?" You ask, there are so many details you'd need to know, I mean what about your friends and family here?

"As soon as possible, we have housing that we can provide, and we will pay for your transition there." She says, with a smile. She's been your boss for 5 years now, and you've always gotten along.

"Can I have a couple days to think about it? I just have a lot of things up in the air in my personal life right now, and I don't want to make any decisions without really thinking about it first." She gives you a comforting smile again.

"Of course, take the time you need. We will need to know by next week Friday if we need to find somebody else for the position though." You give a small nod and thanks. "Ok, now tell me about your anniversary, that's today isn't it?" she says, you laugh and tell her about your plans with Jungkook.

You think about her offer all day, deciding to talk about it with Jungkook tonight. Chicago is halfway across the country and it would be really hard for you guys, and you aren't in the most stable place right now.

You get dressed up, you guys always go to the restaurant you had your first date at for your anniversary and then a walk in the park. But instead, here you are, alone on the couch. You sit there for another hour, trying to get in touch with your boyfriend.

Once it hits hour four you decide to go take a shower and have a good cry. You were used to this kind of stuff from your friends, but never your boyfriend. And he knew how insecure you were about being an afterthought to most people.

You woke up the next morning with dozens of missed calls from Jungkook and various texts apologizing and asking for you to call him back. You don't. Honestly, you're tired of it all. You thought you'd wake up today feeling better, but you just feel a pit in your stomach.

It was the weekend and you decided not to leave your apartment and do a deep cleaning of your home. Maybe if you could get a clean house, you could also clear your head. You talk to your brother on the phone while you clean.

"Maybe something came up again, I know he's been working really hard lately." Tae offers. For some reason this made you mad. Tae was your brother, he shouldn't be defending Jungkook. He should be mad with you, or at least pretend to be.

"You know, I don't really care, he should still communicate with me. It's one thing to miss a date, even though it's actually been several dates that he's missed, but he's not showing up, and then when I'm worried about where he is... he's not answering. It's not usually until the day after when I finally hear from him." You rant for awhile.

Tae stays pretty silent and you feel like he's staying quiet because he doesn't agree with you. You abruptly stop your rant to say "Okay, well I guess I have stuff to do and I'd rather talk to a wall, they might actually give me something to work off of" you say, giving more attitude to your brother than he probably deserved, but you were angry right now and his silence was just making it worse.

You blast your music when you get a text from Minji.

"Hey, I heard you were having a rough go of it." she texted.

"yeah, I'm angry cleaning my whole apartment right now." you respond.

"Yeah, I saw on my laptop that you have been listening to your punch that fucker in the face playlist. Pretty intense name btw."

"yeah well, i feel pretty intense right now. if the grout on my bathroom floor was a person, I would want to punch it in the face."

"Are you sure that it's grout that you want to punch in the face or a certain boyfriend that has been flakey...?"

"maybe both. i have the capabilities to be angry at multiple things at once, i'm talented in that way."

"I'm sure you are, but is that good for you?"

"maybe it's not, but it's the way i feel right now."

"I'm just worried that you are letting this anger seep into your other relationships... like the one with your brother..."

You roll your eyes. of course, now you're the bad guy. You just wish, literally, anybody would be on your side. But instead you're the unlovable one, and nobody is every going to put you first.

You leave Minji on read the rest of the day. No longer answering any messages, you turn your phone off. You start to feel better after you're done and take a shower. You do a full care routine and come out with a clear head.

You turn your phone on to see your boyfriend has been trying to get in touch with you again. You ignore his messages to start making dinner instead. You're almost done cooking when you hear your doorbell ring. The pit in your stomach that you spent all day trying to get rid of comes back.

You look in the security camera to see Jungkook at the door. You start to walk away from the door when you hear him say "____, I know you're in there. I can hear the music from out here." You sigh and open the door.

"What do you want?" You say, holding the door open enough so that only you can fit into the crack.

"Can we talk? Like actually talk, not fight." He asks. You want to get angry at the way he says it, but you can see he meant it genuinely and not in a backhanded way. You open the door all the way to let him in.

"Fine. Talk." You say after you both step in to your home.

"I'm sorry." He says and you immediately want to forgive him, but you know you won't forgive yourself if you give it to him that easily.

"Sorry about what?" You say, not letting up.

"I'm sorry about missing our dates. I've just been working so much lately, I've-" You start to feel the anger bubbling to the surface, you cut him off before he can make you any more upset.

"You think I'm mad because you're missing dates? I don't care about going to dinner. I care that you aren't communicating with me where you are. I wait up into the night and I worry about you, whether you got into an accident, if you're eating okay, if you're getting enough sleep. That is what I care about."

He stares at you, obviously not sure what to say to you. He finally says a small, quiet "I'm sorry." and you stare at him. You want to forgive, you so want to just hug him and be over all of this, but you just don't trust him anymore. You've been in this situation with other guys and you're not about to have your heartbroken again.

"I think we need to take a break." You say, he looks away from you.

"If that's what you think is best."

"it is."

"Okay then." he gets up and walks out the door. You let yourself cry and then finish making your dinner. You keep your phone off the rest of the weekend, you make some decisions.

On Monday morning you walk into your boss's office and accept the position. You vacate your home in the next week and move as much as you can to Chicago.

You tell your brother and Minji, they agree to send you some of your harder to pack things, and house some of the other valuables until you can figure out what to do with them. They seem upset with you about your sudden break up and sudden move, so you contact them less and less. You've only spoken to Jungkook a handful of times and it's mainly short, one-word messages.

You grow so depressed while you're in Chicago, your personal and professional life suffer as a consequence to it. You essentially go to work, bide your time there, come home, maybe eat if you have it in you to make a meal, and go to bed.

One day, you get a call from your old boss. "____, I haven't heard from you in forever, how are you?" she says with that warm voice. It's been months since you've let yourself talk to somebody who cares and it immediately brings you to tears. You cry and tell her about everything your break up, your isolation, your depression, everything you've been feeling for the past 8 months.

"I see, well I'm very sorry to hear that ____. Would it help if I could get you transferred back to here?" She offers, that immediately eases the pit in your stomach that you've been feeling for weeks.

"Would that be possible?" you ask, your voice small with embarrassment.

"Of course that would be possible, Your position here is filled but there is an opening in the higher ups, let me see what strings I can pull."

You immediately feel at ease. You might be able to go home! Then realization hits you. You've spent the last couple months isolating yourself from all of your loved ones, and now you're going to have to make amends.

You immediately call your brother and you both have a long talk over the phone. You open up about how you felt like they were judging the decisions you made and that you were scared that if he had to pick you or his friend, that he would pick his friend.

"____, there is literally nobody in this world that I would choose over you." he says.

"Hey, what the fuck." Minji says in the background, this being her first time speaking up.

"Obviously it's a tie between you guys and I would never have to choose between you guys... right?" he says and you both mumble a yes, obviously.

You all continue to talk through everything you've been feeling with each other, them feeling hurt by you pushing them away, but you work through things, you all cry, and you start to feel better about it all.

You get notice that you are being transferred back home, its not a hard transition, as you never fully moved here and you didn't really make any new friends. but about 2 weeks before your move, you get a message from two girls you went to college with.

"OMG, ____ we heard you're moving back, it's been forever, we should do something, right?" texted Ashley.

You ponder it, you had been best friends with them in high school and then when you moved on to your jobs you'd only really meet with them once a year. But, you are trying to fix your relationships, and don't hang out with many people besides your brother and his partner (and you used to hang out with you boyfriend...)

You decide to just do it. "for sure, lets get dinner when I get back :) "

You talk with them a lot before and after your move. They're a lot different to you now, but you make the effort to understand their interests. They really want to take you out clubbing for your birthday, but you tell them that it's not really your scene anymore.

"So how's your relationship status?" Witney asks, taking a sip of her espresso martini.

"ah, non-existent right now." you say while avoiding eye contact.

"I thought you were dating that hot tattooed guy. What was his name?" Ashley offers, sharing a look and a smirk with Witney that isn't lost on you.

"Ah well, we broke up a while ago." You say with a sad smile while raising your cocktail to your lips.

"You should totally reach out to him!" Witney says suddenly, making you choke on your drink.

"Why would I do that?"

"Because you don't know what could happen, maybe he's still into you." Ashley throws out. You forgot how much they loved drama, and how if they don't get it, they'll cause it.

"Yeah, it wouldn't really matter if he did still like me, we just didn't work. We couldn't communicate with each other the way we should." you say, hoping that's the end of it.

"But he's hot, isn't that enough. at least you could get one or two good, hot nights with him." Witney says with a sly smirk.

"Yeah, I'm over this conversation. I'm not going to hook up with him, we are done and that it." You say, letting your mask slip a bit.

"Geez, sorry. We were just trying to get you some." Witney says while Ashley rolls her eyes at you. They stay silent. They're mad at you.

You inhale. "I was thinking," They look up at you. "Maybe we should go out for my birthday." They both perk up immediately and start talking over each other about which bars we should go to, what events are going down, is there any parties going on, what we should wear.

Hey, maybe this won't be that bad.

~ present day ~

"You're right. I was distant. I was so focused on work, and I just thought you'd stay there for me, even though I was neglecting you. You leaving was a big wake up call for me. I had to really change the way I thought about my work and personal life and make them separate." He says, looking at you. You give him a small smile, his hand reaches your face and wipes of a tear. You put your hand over his and lean into it.

"I know I haven't said it. But is missed you. So much." You say, not breaking eye contact, not wanting to ruin this moment with the man you once loved.

"I missed you too." he says quietly. You stare up at him and you begin to smile through your tears and you can feel his breath getting closer as his hand stays on your face, you take this time to hold his face and kiss him. You passionately kiss while his hands make his way into your hair and your arms are wrapped around his neck. It’s like the two of you were trying to get closer, but there was no physical way for that to happen.

When you both finally come up for air and you both are out of breath, your foreheads touch as you look into his eyes.

“You didn’t push me away. I’m right here, I’ve always been here, and I always will be.” He whispers to you and you feel tears slide down your face again as he kisses them away.

~ time jump - a year and four months later ~

You are trying to buckle your heel when you get a knock on the door. You open it to find your handsome boyfriend wearing a nice suit, but with no tie. If you didn't know him, you'd think he was a mafia boss from a romance novel with his tattoos and jewelry. But you know that he could never hurt anybody.

"You look stunning." He says, giving you a bouquet of your favorite flowers and a kiss. The kisses go on for awhile, neither of you coming up for air before he goes "Are you ready to go?" finally breaking your brief make out. You nod in response.

You go to your the fine dining restaurant you always go to on this day. The food was great, as always, and you take a walk in the park. You arms are linked together as you both people watch and and chat about your day.

You come up on a bench and you both have a seat. You see somebody hiding behind a tree. You go to point it out to your boyfriend, but when you turn to him, he is no longer sitting next to you. Instead, he is on the ground, down on one knee. Your hands fly to cover your mouth in shock.

"____, We've had some ups and downs, but we've come out of them all stronger and better than before. In our time apart, I realized, I never want to not have you in my life. Will you please do me the honor of marrying me?" You fly into his arms, toppling him to the ground.

"Of course I will." You say while picking yourselves up and kissing him over and over. Out, from behind the tree, comes Tae and Minji, recording and taking photos. You hug them and cry, Minji compliments the beautiful ring that now sits on your finger.

You thank yourself for the people you've surrounded yourself with, and you thank them for sticking by you, even when you're being unreasonable. People who actually love you aren't easily pushed away, and you're so thankful for that.

[sunsvrs]

Break up scenarios with Enhypen

These scenarios contain sensitive topics related to trust and betrayal within a relationship.

TW: Infidelity, emotion distress, mental health struggles relationship breakdown, emotional conflict, anger, public humiliation, perfectionism, commitment issues.

This kinda took me a while so i hope you like it.

Heeseung

It’s a stormy evening, and the wind howls outside, shaking the windows of your small apartment. You sit alone on the couch, surrounded by the dim light of a single lamp. The air feels heavy with unresolved tension. “Heeseung, we need to talk. It feels like you’re slipping away from me. I’m here alone most of the time.” He finally sits beside you, his face a mix of exhaustion and guilt. He avoids eye contact as he speaks. “I’ve been so consumed by work... I didn’t realize how far I was drifting.” Just as you begin to voice your frustration, your phone buzzes with a notification. It’s a message from Heeseung’s phone left on the coffee table, showing a text from an unknown number that reads, “Can’t wait to see you again, miss you.”

Your heart sinks. “Who is this?” you ask, holding up the phone. “It’s not what it looks like. I... I was just... I don’t know what to say.”

The storm outside mirrors the chaos within. The finality of Heeseung’s betrayal hits hard as you leave, the door slamming shut behind you. Heeseung’s sobs are swallowed by the storm’s roar, a stark reminder of his broken promises.

Jay

It’s late at night, and the apartment is shrouded in darkness, only lit by the faint glow of a bedside lamp. Jay sits on the edge of the bed, his face buried in his hands. The silence is punctuated only by his quiet, anguished sobs. “Jay, what’s happening? I see you’re struggling, but you’re pushing me away.” His voice is muffled as he speaks through his tears. “I’m battling so many demons, and I’m scared... scared that I’m dragging you down.”

Just then, you notice a small envelope on the nightstand addressed to someone else. It’s a letter confessing his struggle with his feelings and his fear of being a burden, but it also hints at an affair he’s been having. Your heart races as you read a line that says, “I can’t keep pretending everything is okay.”

“Is this what you’ve been hiding? Did you think cheating was the answer?!” He looks up, horror and regret in his eyes. “I didn’t mean to hurt you like this. I just didn’t know how to cope.“ The room feels colder as you process his betrayal. With a broken heart, you walk away, leaving Jay alone with his regret and the darkened room’s echoes of your departing footsteps.

Jake

The living room is bathed in the warm glow of the setting sun, but the atmosphere feels tense and charged. Jake sits on the couch, his face etched with a mixture of pain and resignation. The air between you is thick with unsaid words. “I’ve been hiding something from you. I’m struggling, and I don’t think I can do this anymore... not like this.” “We can work through this together. Let me help you,” you plead, but Jake’s expression remains troubled. “I’ve been seeing someone else. I thought it would help me escape my feelings, but it only made things worse. I’m sorry. I don’t know how to fix this.”

Your heart shatters at his confession. “So, you chose to betray me instead of facing your problems? I can’t believe this.” The warmth of the setting sun does little to comfort you as you prepare to leave. Jake’s face is a mask of regret and sorrow, his pleas falling on deaf ears as you walk out, the door closing with a finality that echoes his heartbreak.

Sunghoon

The late afternoon sun casts a warm but deceptive glow over the living room. The room feels tense, as if the air itself is charged with unresolved issues. Sunghoon sits on the couch, his expression a mix of frustration and agitation. You stand nearby, struggling with the weight of your discovery. “Sunghoon, we need to talk. I’ve noticed you’ve been distant, and now I get messages like this on my phone.” You hold up your phone, displaying a text that reads, ‘I miss you. Can’t wait to see you again soon.’ Sunghoon’s face darkens, anger flashing in his eyes as he stands up abruptly. “Seriously? You’re going to accuse me without even hearing me out?”

“I’m not accusing you without reason. How can you explain this? Who is this person, and why are they sending you messages like this?”

Sunghoon’s anger rises, his voice sharp and defensive. “You think you know everything, don’t you? I’ve been dealing with a lot, and instead of listening, you’re jumping to conclusions!” “This isn’t about me jumping to conclusions. It’s about the fact that you’ve been seeing someone else behind my back. How do you expect me to react?”

His anger turns to shouting as he paces the room. “You don’t understand what it’s like! I made mistakes, yes, but it’s not all black and white. You think you’re perfect, but you don’t know the full story!” “I don’t need to know the full story to understand that you’ve betrayed my trust. I’m trying to make sense of what’s happened and how you could be so cruel.” Both voices beginning to rise “Cruel? You think I’m cruel?! You’re the one making a scene without knowing anything. I’m tired of your accusations and your expectations. I made mistakes, but this is how you respond?” The warm light of the afternoon sun now feels harsh and mocking as Sunghoon’s anger fills the room. The atmosphere is charged with frustration and bitterness, creating a chasm between you. “I can’t stay here and deal with this. I need to get away from this toxic situation and figure out where to go from here.” As you turn to leave, Sunghoon’s anger is palpable. He watches you with a mixture of rage and frustration, his face flushed and eyes blazing. The door slams behind you, leaving Sunghoon alone in the harsh light of the setting sun, his anger echoing in the empty room. The once-warm light now feels like a stark reminder of the bitterness and disillusionment of your shattered relationship.

Sunoo

The room is softly lit by a bedside lamp, casting a gentle glow over the space. Sunoo sits on the edge of the bed, his posture slumped and his face hidden in his hands. The atmosphere is heavy, filled with the weight of unspoken pain. “Sun, I can see that you’re struggling, but you’re shutting me out. What’s going on?” He lifts his head, revealing tear-streaked cheeks. “I’ve been feeling lost and overwhelmed. There’s been so much I haven’t told you. I’m scared that I’m not the person you think I am anymore.”

As you listen, you discover a series of personal letters and journal entries where Sunoo has been candidly documenting his fears and struggles, including a recent scandal involving leaked videos that left him deeply affected. You realize how much he’s been carrying alone. ”Sun, I had no idea how much you’ve been dealing with. You don’t have to face this alone. We can work through this together.” His eyes widen with relief as he listens to your supportive words. “You really mean that? I’ve been so afraid of pushing you away. I didn’t know how to share this with you.” The room, once filled with despair, now feels like a sanctuary of hope and renewal. You both smile, finding solace in each other's presence and the strength of your bond. As you hold each other, it becomes clear that, despite the challenges, your relationship has the potential to grow stronger.

(I couldn't bring myself to break up with him ;-;)

Jungwon

The living room is dimly lit, with shadows flickering as the city lights cast an orange hue through the windows. Jungwon sits by the window, his shoulders hunched and his gaze distant. The atmosphere feels heavy, as if the room is suffused with the weight of his unspoken struggles. “Jungwon, I can't keep doing this. You’re always so distant, and it feels like I’m the only one fighting for us.” He turns to face you, his eyes betraying deep exhaustion and guilt. “I’ve been trying so hard to be perfect, but it’s breaking me apart. I didn’t realize how much I was failing us.”

As you speak, you find a hidden folder in his desk, containing detailed notes and photographs of his relentless pursuit of perfection. Among them, there’s a shocking revelation—evidence of secret meetings with a performance coach and a therapist. It’s clear he’s been hiding not just his struggles but an entire alternate life focused on an unattainable ideal. “Is this what you’ve been hiding? The pressure you’re under is tearing us apart.” Tears stream down his face as he tries to explain. “I thought if I could be perfect, everything would be okay. I didn’t want you to see me like this, but now I see that I’ve lost myself—and you.” The room feels colder, the shadows growing longer as the weight of his admission settles between you. You leave, the dim light outside contrasting sharply with the stark reality of Jungwon’s struggle, leaving him alone with his regrets and broken dreams.

Ni-Ki

The room is bathed in the soft light of the setting sun, creating a melancholic atmosphere. Ni-ki sits on the edge of the bed, his face troubled as he gazes out the window. You stand across from him, your heart heavy with the realization of your differing paths. “Ni-Ki, I feel like we’re moving in different directions. I’m ready for a serious commitment, but you seem so unsure.” He looks up, his face a mix of fear and regret. “I’m still figuring out who I am. I didn’t mean for things to get this complicated. I don’t want to hold you back.”

As the conversation unfolds, you reveal that you’ve been offered a job abroad, adding to the complexity of your situation. “This opportunity means a lot to me, and I can’t stay if we’re not on the same page.” He tried to hide his tearstained face. “I know. I’m just not ready for the kind of commitment you need.” The setting sun casts a warm yet sorrowful glow as you come to terms with the need to part ways. Ni-Ki watches you leave, the tears in his eyes a reflection of the sadness of your separation.

[xoxoluka]

hey! can i put in a request about long distance friends (maybe theres a lil summin going on but who knows?) reader and schlatt?

just have an idea of reader living in brighton or something and schlatt comes to visit...

sorry for the wait anon, pls enjoy!

jschlatt x reader

summary: schlatt has a crush on you, but you live in an entirely different country. he’ll find a way to make it work.

warnings: uhhhh

a/n: i got this request in a group of other notifications while i was at prom, i almost didn’t notice it :p also idk how school works in the uk sooo lmao

"listen, jay, we can meet up as soon as this semester ends, alright?" you say, trying to compromise with him. "as soon as I get back, I'll hop on a flight to Austin."

It's not like you wanted to put such a big wedge between the two of you, but you had gotten such a big offer from University of Brighton (full ride, you couldn't turn that down) towards your Art and Design degree, that there was absolutely no way you were going anywhere in the US. You lived in New York originally, you and Schlatt grew up together. It was weird being so far away from him.

"you can't just come now? take a week off or something?" he groaned.

"you know I can't," you sigh, sitting down on the bed in your dorm. "it's may. i'll be there in a few weeks, the term isn't much longer."

it was always odd having this conversation with him. something never felt right. you understood wanting to see him as a friend, but you always wanted to see him more than that. you chalked it up to being so close, but you knew in some small part of your mind that it wasn't the reason.

"alright, fine. but you're coming straight here when you're done."

"deal."

~

schlatt nearly lost an arm and a fucking leg trying to get here. first, the airport in Texas wasn't accepting his passport, then there was an issue with his luggage, and he almost missed his flight. and if that wasn't enough, he couldn't find the correct exit in the airport in Brighton, and there were no taxis available, making him stand there and wait for 45 minutes. thankfully, you had told him the time of your graduation in a phone call a few nights ago when you were complaining about how late it was.

he finally made it to the college after his many issues, and was just in time to watch you walk the stage.

"Y/N L/N, graduating with honors and a bachelor's degree in Art and Design." The crowd clapped as you stepped up on stage, from your seat down on the floor, taking the diploma and shaking the hands of the many people on stage. on your way back down, you think you pot a familiar face, but psych yourself out of the thoughts before you think about it too hard.

the ceremony ends a while after, and the crowd and graduates are dismissed. you planned on just going back to your dorm to pack, taking your cap off and holding it and your diploma under your arm as you walk, staring down at your phone.

"leaving without me?" you hear from behind you, making you perk up and whip around, seeing your favorite person standing behind you.

"oh my god!" you exclaim, jumping into his arms excitedly. tears of joy brim your eyes, laughing as he hugged you back.

you stayed like that for a good minute or so before he put you down and you separated.

"when did you get here?" you ask through laughs, wiping your eyes.

"just a while ago, made it right on time." he answers.

"jesus christ, i love you." you say before even realizing your mistake, and it took you a moment to register his silence.

you look up at him once you realized, a look of terror and guilt on your face. he looks serious, making you question if you had just blown it all. you hadn't even planned on telling him at all.

thankfully, he breaks and laughs, pulling you into a hug again. "love you too, toots."

you let out a breath of relief and laugh, holding him as tight as you can. "you came at the perfect time, I need someone to help me pack."

schlatt playfully groans in response to that, but looks down at you. "i guess i'll help you."

a/n: i crave the schlanket can someone buy me one

© property of xoxoluka. do not repost.

[foolforharrry]

Cactus Mug - Harry Styles Oneshot

Summary: After being away from each other for so long while Harry is on tour, y/n finally decides to go surprise Harry.

2.5k words

Any support is very appreciated. And if you have any requests feel free to send an ask, comment or a direct message

Also let me know if you guys want a part 2

Here's my masterlist if you want to check out more of my stuff

Harry has been on tour for months now. Waking up to a cold bed alone every day is something he’s made known he absolutely despises. As much as he loves performing in front of his fans every night, touring can get lonely. And some days are harder than others.

Today has been one of those days.

The first thing I did when I opened my eyes was to check my phone for a text message from Harry. 

And like almost every single morning, there it was. The notification bubble with his contact name in.

H: Missing you extra tonight. I can’t wait to finally kiss you and have you in my arms again. This house doesn’t really feel like a home without you. So I might have tried out that new recipe you sent me the other day. The mushroom risotto. Not sure where I went wrong, but it didn’t taste very good. So you’ll have to show me how to make it when you get here. Only one more week, yeah? Goodnight, my love.

Reading it, all I could think about was the disappointed frown he must’ve had on his face when he realised that he had messed up the food. Knowing him, he would have eaten as much of it as he could stomach.

It was then I decided to call my boss and ask her if there was any chance that I could work from home. I wasn’t 100% sure if she would grant it, but she must’ve heard the desperation in my voice and decided to show me mercy. 

Before Harry, I’d never seen myself as someone who would be able to be in a long-distance relationship. In the past when situations where a relationship would’ve become long distance, I was always the one to end it, not being able to stand being away from the person for that long.

But with Harry it was different. With him, it’s worth it.

That doesn’t mean I’m not counting down the days until we can be together again from the minute he leaves.

Which is why I didn’t think the flight through enough and ended up having to sprint through the airport to make it to my gate in order to not miss my flight, knowing I definitely forgot to pack something I’m going to need but it’s too late to worry about that now.

The second I’m squeezed between a teenage girl and a middle-aged man on the plane at 12:05 pm, I fish my phone out of my pocket again with hands shaky from excitement and nerves. Both over seeing Harry again and the sneaky element of flying to him without him knowing I am.

Me: Morning, Angel. I’ve got a really busy day at work today, so I’m sorry if I don’t get back to you before late. And of course, I’ll teach you how to make it (what would you do without me?). I love you higher than the sky xx

I’m hoping he won’t ask me any questions about what I’m going to be so busy with since I’m a horrible liar, especially under stress. 

My prayers are answered when his reply comes almost immediately. The text message attached to a photo of his sleep-puffed face with his eyes closed, pink lips puckered and his hair wild and curly from sleep.

H: Sending all my love and kisses to you baby. Good luck with your day. If you’re not too tired when you get home, we could facetime? I miss your voice so much.

Me: It’ll be nice to see your face again. I miss it.

H: If you miss it too much you can always just look at your lock screen, you know.

Me: Yes. This solves all of my problems! Bye now, my love.

I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself from smiling like a psychopath as I type out one last text message and attach a photo I know will hurt his ego a bit before I set my phone to flight mode.

There hasn’t gone a week since the photo was taken where I haven’t reminded him of its existence. If I can’t share it with anyone else, I’m gonna share it with him.

It was taken almost a year ago in the hotel room we were staying in. Harry had demanded that I take a photo of him with his new cactus mug. The mug was adorable and literally looked like a cactus. He had been posing by the sofa when he forgot that tea is hot. The sip of tea he’d just taken had been sent flying everywhere as well as all the tea that was still inside the mug. 

I thank the lucky stars every day for live photos.

While he had been panicking about burning his tongue, he had ended up dropping the mug to the floor. Something he says he’s still upset over.

So last week, when I saw a mug almost identical to the one he broke, I had to buy it for him. It’s safely tucked in my bag. My favourite hoodie of Harry’s is wrapped around it to keep it from breaking. Hopefully.

“You need to put your seatbelt on, miss.”

The polite voice snaps me out of my thought, turning my head to look at the flight attendant. It takes me a second to comprehend, what she says, but when I do I thank her quickly, offering her a small smile before fastening my seatbelt.

When I’m secured, I plug my wired AirPods in, and try my best to get comfortable for the six-hour flight ahead of me

-

I’ve never really been a fan of flying. 

The idea of being crammed in a metal box with a bunch of strangers high up in the clouds for a longer period of time just never appealed to me. Especially not with the occasional screaming baby.

But this might have been one of the least uncomfortable flights I’ve ever taken.

Sleeping for most of it might have a lot to do with it, but oh well.

I’m not gonna lie and say that it wasn’t a relief to finally exit the plane and stand in a building that doesn’t lift off the ground either.

However, that relief doesn’t even get close to the feeling when I finally lay eyes on my final destination.

When the driver finally stops the car, I’m quick to pay before I’m hauling myself and my bag out of the cab while thanking him over my shoulder. He drives off immediately, leaving me alone in front of the house I’m starting to think is empty.

The lights are all turned off and Harry’s car isn’t parked in its usual spot. He only ever parks it in the garage when he’s leaving LA.

A bit defeated, I take my keychain out of the outer pocket of my bag as I step up the few stairs leading to the front door. Finally, after fiddling with it for way too long, I find the right key.

Like I thought, the house is empty. There is no music playing anywhere. The TV is off and there is no sign of life as I drop my bag by the staircase. 

Still, just the faint smell of him feels like a warm, much-needed hug.

Not wanting to spoil the surprise, but also wanting to know what he’s up to, I get my phone out of my back pocket and dial Harry’s number on my way up the stairs to the second floor.

He picks up before I’ve reached the top.

“Hi, love.”, Harry’s voice has a smile forming on my face within seconds.

I stop in my tracks, willing my heart to slow down again half convinced he’s able to hear it through the phone from how hard it’s beating. Even after all this time, just hearing his voice makes my stomach fill with butterflies. “Hi, baby. I only have a second. But i wanted to hear your voice. what are you up to?”

That’s a good lie, right? 

“I’m on my way to the shop right now. I was craving grapes. Are you ok, though? You sound a little out of breath.” 

“I just ran up the stairs.” Not a complete lie. “But anyways. I have to go again.”

“Already?”, he asks, his voice sounding sad. 

“I’m sorry, my love.” I genuinely am. “But hey. We’ll see each other so soon, yeah? Can’t wait to see you.”

He hums, “One more week.”

After saying goodbye, I hang up, doing some quick calculations in my head that I do have time to shower the icky feeling of flying off me before he gets back home from the store if I’m fast.

Not wasting any time, I speed walk to our bedroom, making a beeline for Harry’s side of the closet so I can grab one of his hoodies. I settle on a pastel yellow one with a big kawaii drawing of a pug on the front before shuffling to grab a pair of grey sweatpants and some underwear from my own side of the closet.

Since I’m not entirely sure exactly how much time I have before Harry is going to be back home, I decide against music. I can’t let myself get carried away and take too long.

But before I strip out of my clothes and hop in the shower, I run downstairs, pull the cactus mug out of my bag and set it on top of the kitchen island next to the plain black one with a used tea bag that was already left there.

Just in case.

As much as I love our home in New York, it just hasn’t felt the same while he’s been away. The only mess in the apartment was made by me and me alone.

And I’m not gonna lie and say that I haven’t missed the way Harry always leaves a mess behind throughout the week. Whether that be a towel on the floor or a heap of clothes left slung over a chair. Or the way he would vow to get better at tidying up after himself every Sunday only to never follow through on it.

So seeing all the different products and stuff scattered all over the dark grey bathroom countertops brings me a sense of peace I didn’t know that I needed.

I make quick work of my shower, even turning the water off while washing my hair and body to force myself to be more efficient. But even with that, I wasn’t fast enough.

While in the process of pulling the soft hoodie over my head, my breath gets caught in my throat when I hear footsteps just outside the bathroom door.

They’re very quiet. Almost as if the person is trying to keep themselves from anyone hearing them. I wouldn’t even have caught them if it weren’t for the fact that I didn’t close the door all the way.

“Fuck.”, I curse, scrambling to loop my arms through the sleeves just as the door swings open fully to reveal a sight that has me torn between whether to laugh or cry from pure happiness.

Harry is holding a frying pan up in defence, clutching it with both hands as if his life depends on it. And I can’t decide whether he looks terrified or surprised.

I clear my throat, not even caring about the whole plan I had been ruined. “You just gonna stand there, Rapunzel?”

One second later and he’s dropped the frying pan, the sound of it clattering to the ground echoes around the bathroom. But I don’t get to even look at it for more than just a moment before I’m engulfed in one of the tightest hugs I’ve ever gotten.

Harry’s arms go around my waist, burying his face in my neck when I hug him back. I have to stand on my tippy toes to loop my arms around his neck, feeling my eyes start to well up with tears. It’s only now that I’m back in his arms, feeling his chest move with every breath he takes and the puffs of air fanning out over the soft skin of my neck with each exhale.

He’s so freaking warm too. Not just physically. But just the feel of being close enough to smell his cologne and the faint remnants of his body wash makes a warmth spread through my whole body. It’s like taking a sip of hot tea when you’re freezing cold. The heat slowly expanded from my heart to my fingertips.

It feels like home.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”, Harry mumbles, forcing a choked chuckle from me as I hug him tighter. “I can always go back to New York if you don’t want me here.”, I joke without meaning it one bit. You’d have to knock me out and drag me along the floor for me to leave.

Pulling back enough to look me in the eye, Harry takes my face in his hands, “If you even think about leaving me alone again, I’m going to follow you. And then when I’ve caught you. I’m gonna throw tomatoes at you.”

The more he speaks, the more he squishes my cheeks, making my words partly slurred which only makes it that much harder to keep a straight face. “What if I want you to throw tomatoes at me?”

He tilts his head to the side with a chuckle, dimples indenting his cheeks. His green eyes look like they’re sparkling from the way the light reflects in them and blush has painted his cheeks pink.

“You’re fucking impossible, you know.”, he breathes out with a laugh.

I run my fingers through his hair, getting distracted momentarily by how soft his curls are. “You still love me, right?”

Instead of answering me with words, Harry ducks down, pressing his lips against mine in a way that has me losing my breath as my eyelids fall shut.

The way he kisses me turns me into putty in his arms. Both from how gently his hands hold my face to how soft his lips are as he mumbles ‘I love you' against my lips between kisses until I’m giggling too much to kiss him back and he just starts peppering kisses all over my face.

I tug lightly on his hair to get pull his face back a bit when I hear a sniffle, frowning when I see his eyes watery with unshed tears. the tip of his nose is a bit red and his lips turned into a pout.

It’s when I ask him what’s wrong, a single tear starts rolling down his cheek quickly followed by another.

Harry blinks rapidly, looking up at the ceiling as he sniffles again but doesn’t tell me why he’s crying.

Wiping his tears away with my thumbs, I kiss his moist cheek tenderly, toying with the curls at the nape of his neck. “Tell me what’s wrong, Angel.”

“I just missed you.”, Harry sniffles. “They’re happy tears though.”

“I missed you too.”, I admit. Whispering it to him as if I haven’t told him that I miss him every day we’ve been apart.

“Now really. How are you here, baby?”, Harry asks seriously, sliding his hands from my face down my neck. “I thought you couldn’t get away from work for another week.”

“Well.”, I start, already feeling my cheeks heat up, “Asking your boss very nicely with a drop of desperation seems to work wonders.”

Harry smirks, “Desperation huh?” Even his chest puffs in pride.

“I had to give you your belated birthday present.”, I explain to him, feeling giddy as I remember the genius purchase I made.

“My birthday is in February, love.”

I roll my eyes at him, grabbing his hand before dragging him with me. Careful to step over the pan he dropped.

“Where are we going?”, Harry asks. He still laces our fingers together, giving my hand a squeeze. It might as well have been my heart he had his hand wrapped around with the jump it made at the gesture.

“To get you your present.”

-

[something-tofightfor]

Some Things Are Meant To Be

Pairing: Joel Miller x female reader (Just Too Good To Be Gone pairing)

Word count: 7,813

Rating: M - language, mentions of sex, TLOU universe situations ... overall pretty tame for me.

Warnings: This alludes to things that happen / are covered in TLOU and TLOU 2, but doesn’t spoil anything at all.

Summary: Even in Jackson, plans sometimes change ... which results in you and Joel getting to have an almost perfect day together. 

Author’s Note: Hi, friends! This was supposed to be up for Valentine’s Day, but I’m a little delayed... sorry about that. 

This is just to fill in a gap in their story - and to address something very important for this couple. It takes place between “Can’t Swallow What I’m Thinkin’” and “Lessons You Learn From a Past You Can’t Change”

To get alerted when I post new chapters/stories, follow @somethingtofightfor-shares​ and turn on post notifications - you can also ask to be added to my tag list (link in bio or at the top of my taglist reblog)

Just Too Good To Be Gone Masterlist

Song Suggestion: “Can’t Help Falling In Love” by Elvis Presley

There was someone knocking at his door - and even though Joel rushed to answer it, it still took him longer than usual to get there. 

“I’m comin’!” His voice rose as he made his way down the steps, still toweling his hair dry. “Hang on a -” When he pulled the door open and saw Tommy on his porch, Joel frowned. “Why the hell didn’t you just come in?”

“I know better.” Arching a brow, Tommy stared past Joel and into the hallway behind him. “Didn’t want to see anything I’m not supposed to, if you know what I mean.” Of course. 

“She ain’t even here.” Stepping to the side, Joel waved a hand, inviting his brother in. “Stayed at her place last night because I had to be up real early today.” Joel tossed the towel onto the counter, sighing. “Gotta get that barn done before we leave on that supply run in August, means we’ve gotta get it framed before she an’ I head out to Wilson.” 

“We’re pushing the barn back a couple days.” Tommy moved around Joel’s kitchen, opening a cupboard and pulling out two mugs. “Schmidt wants to give the ground more time to dry out. He’s out there rakin’ right now.” 

“So what does that mean?” Joel leaned against the kitchen island, arms crossed. “We planned this out so we’d have plenty of time.” Tommy nodded, pouring water into the upper portion of the coffee maker and then pressing the button to begin brewing it. 

“We did. All it means is that it’ll take the same amount of time, but we’re startin’ Friday instead of today.” They were both quiet then, and Joel chewed on his bottom lip, waiting. He didn’t need to come here and tell me. He could have radioed. “Maria left early today, too.” Tommy sniffed, turning back to face Joel. “But she’s why I’m here.”

“Everything alright?” Frowning, Joel tensed, anticipating the worst. “Tommy?”

“Yeah.” Tommy reached up, smoothing his mustache down. “She’s fine. But.” He glanced back, checking the level of water in the coffee pot, and then met Joel’s eyes again. “But she needs a couple more sets of hands today.” 

“Where?” His answer was immediate, but Tommy’s wasn’t, the other man reaching for the pre-packed drawstring bags of tea and dropping one into each mug. “Tommy, I swear to God, you’re pissin’ me off, and it’s not even -”

“Do you remember when we were kids, and we used to go to Pop and Mimi’s in the summer?” Well, yeah, but… “And we’d stay there for a couple weeks?”

“‘Course.” Joel pushed off of the island and reached past Tommy, grabbing for the handle of the pot and pouring the steaming liquid into the mugs. “They’d never make us go to bed, so we’d always say up real late.” Tommy laughed, lifting the teabag by the drawstrings and dunking it a few times. “All that time spent layin’ on the ground in a sleeping bag should have been good practice for …” He trailed off, Tommy scoffing in reply. 

“Yeah, you’d fuckin’ think so.” Dropping the bag into the sink, he raised the mug and took a drink, his lip curling. “I miss coffee like you wouldn’t believe.” 

“You and me both.” Joel sipped at his tea. “Can you get to the goddamn point, though, Tommy?” The younger man laughed, taking another drink. 

“What else did we do when we were there, Joel?” Ate a bunch of junk food? Ran around the neighborhood until we were so tired we couldn’t stand up? “I’ll give you a hint.” He paused, narrowing his eyes. “You got up close and personal with some yellowjackets the one year.”

“Berry pickin’?” Joel froze with the mug halfway to his lips. “Maria needs help with berry pickin’?” 

“She does.” Tommy grinned, licking his lips after another drink. “Blueberries, raspberries and strawberries are ripe, and you know how big that field is.” I do, I’m the one that fixed the fence last year. “So instead of framin’ out that barn today, you an’ me are gonna go and help out over there.”

“But that’s where -” That’s where she is. Out there with Maria. Tommy drained his mug and placed it into the sink, stepping forward and settling a hand on Joel’s shoulder, his fingers squeezing. 

“Sure is, big brother.” 

— 

You were bent over a row of raspberry bushes, your fingers quickly picking the ripe fruits and dropping them into a basket when you heard his voice. “Hey, you.” What is he doing here? 

Turing your head toward the sound, you widened your eyes at the sight of Joel and then stood up straight, pulling a berry free as you moved. 

“Joel? What are you… I thought you were working on the barn today.” You watched as his smile grew from a small one into the grin that you rarely saw on his lips - the one that made him look years younger. Stepping closer to him, you held out your hand, the berry resting on your palm. “Want it?” 

Without saying anything, Joel stepped closer and reached out, waiting until you’d dropped the fruit from your hand to his. Without looking away, he popped it into his mouth, the man chewing and swallowing. “Damn, those are good this year.” They are. “And yeah, we were supposed to work on the barn today, but the ground’s wet or somethin’, so we’re givin’ it another couple days.” 

“Good.” Closing the distance between you even further, you used one hand to gesture vaguely. “There’s a lot to pick here.” He looked around, the man putting both hands on his hips. It gave you the chance to stare at him, your eyes taking in the fit of his t-shirt and jeans, the way his hair curled against he back of his neck - longer than he usually wore it, but still shorter than the longest you’d ever seen it. 

He didn’t spend much time in the agricultural areas of Jackson. The only times you saw him in the greenhouses were when he was coming to see you or to fix something, and it was rare that Joel had any hand in the field harvests, either. But you would have been lying if you’d said that you were unhappy to see him among the greenery. 

“I haven’t picked berries since I was a kid.” Joel finally spoke, his eyes drifting back to you. “You’re gonna have to help me out.” Fighting back a smile, you reached out again, waiting for him to take your hand. Gladly. 

“It’s really easy, Joel.” Leading him to the bushes you’d been working on, you reached for one of the raspberries. “Try and pull it off the plant. If it comes off easy, it’s ripe. If you need more than a little force… it’s not ready.” A berry came free and you popped it into your mouth. “Same for blueberries. But we’re not going to get to those today, because Maria claims them.” You laughed, watching Joel reach for the plant, too. “Just put ‘em in the bucket, and then when it’s full, take it over to where the wagons are.” 

“We brought a couple more.” Joel licked his lips, his hands already busy with the bush. “Wagons, I mean.” 

“Good.” Eyeing him, you waited a few seconds to go back to what you were doing. “We’ll need as many as we can get. There’s gonna be a ton of fruit today. The weather’s been really good this year, and the fence kept the animals out.” 

“You’re welcome.” Glancing over at you, Joel smirked. “For the fence, I mean.” You rolled your eyes, leaning over and picking an unripe berry off of the ground before you tossed it at him. “Oh, you’re wastin’ fruit now?”

“No. It was already wasted.” Head shaking back and forth, you looked down. “I’m glad you’re here, Joel. Thought I wasn’t gonna get to see you much for the next couple days.” He sighed, but you caught the nod he gave in return out of the corner of one eye. 

“Yeah, I thought the same thing. Glad we were wrong.” You worked in silence for a few minutes, checking on the contents of the bucket every now and then as the two of you filled it. 

But it was a good silence, the man’s presence next to you coupled with the heat of the late-morning air and the bright sunlight making you happier than you’d been in a long time. And when you glanced over at Joel, you saw that he looked relaxed, too, his lips curved upward into a small smile as he kept his hands busy. I like seeing him like this. 

Between the two of you, you filled three 5 gallon buckets in just over an hour, making small talk as you worked your way down the row. 

He told you about the time that he and Tommy had spent with their grandparents during their school breaks, about the incident when he was eleven, his entire right hand swelling up from multiple stings, and that it had resulted in his grandmother stopping on the way home to buy both brothers ice cream. 

Joel also told you about the tiny garden that he’d kept in the back yard for Sarah to play in, and the hanging basket of strawberries that hung from a shepherd’s hook every summer, the girl excited to check for fresh fruit on a daily basis. 

You’d noticed that when Joel was relaxed and not prodded, he tended to open up more. and because you wanted to know everything about him that you could, you didn’t interrupt, giving him free rein to speak at his own pace. 

And it was Joel that cut himself off mid-sentence halfway through the fourth bucket, the man standing up straight and saying your name, one hand held out. “What?” Looking up from where you knelt on the ground, you tilted your head to the side. “What is -”

“C’mon. Take a break with me. Let’s get some water.” He kept his arm extended, but instead of reaching for it, you gave yourself permission to look at him - taking in the sight of the man’s sweat-damp forehead, the dark spot near the collar of his shirt and the way the sun was shining through his hair and highlighting the silver strands in his messy curls, some of them sticking to the back of his neck. Look at him. 

Finally taking his hand, you let him pull you up, his fingers tightening around yours. “Gonna grab that bucket, we might as well empty it.” You picked it up but Joel took it from you and the two of you headed for the wagons, the man dropping your hand but not straying far. 

Once you’d emptied the bucket into the larger crate, he set it down and waited for you to fill up two cups from the cooler that was sitting under the shade of a tree, the man taking one from you. “We can go sit over there.” Using your free hand, you gestured to a shady space about twenty feet to the right, facing away from the town. 

You passed Maria and Tommy on the way, the two of them huddled over a row of blueberry bushes, pulling fruit away from the plants. Your friend glanced up but didn’t say anything, the woman winking before she returned her attention to her husband. “This shit’s almost harder than construction.” Joel groaned as he lowered himself to the ground, leaning his back against one of the fenceposts. “My knees are gonna feel awful tomorrow.” 

“Yep.” Taking a seat next to him, you drank deeply from your cup, the cool water delicious as you swallowed it. “But it’s going to be worth it when there’s fresh pie and jam.” Turning your head toward him, you smiled. “That’s the best part about picking the fruit; we get to take some home without worrying about waiting for distribution.” 

“Really?” His eyes widened. “Ellie’s gonna love that.” I know. You leaned in, eyes still locked with Joel’s. 

“Yes, really. That’s why they rotate people in here, so that it’s spread out a little more between anyone that wants some extra. It’s not … there’s a lot of fruit, but it’s still kind of shitty to take more than you need. Honor system, you know?”

“That wouldn’t have worked in Boston.” He snorted, finishing his water and setting the cup down. “A handful of blueberries would have probably cost an entire ration card, maybe more. There was a literal black market for seeds, and some … some produce was worth more than goddamn pills.” 

“That’s a surprise.” You finished your water, too, and then leaned back next to him, stretching your legs out in front of you. “Since you were a  smuggler, did … did you ever smuggle food, Joel? Or was it all stuff?” He’d talked about his jobs plenty of times, but aside from telling you about some of the most memorable ones, he hadn’t gone into much detail. 

“Anything and everything.” Joel reached up and ran his hand through his hair, shrugging. “Me an’ Tess would take on any job we were offered as long as the pay was right. Only thing we never did was smuggle people.” Joel paused and then laughed, the sound carrying on the breeze. “And then Marlene asked us to get Ellie out of the QZ, and …” He trailed off. 

“And we all know how that turned out.” Extending your hand, you settled it on his knee. “Do you ever miss it? Not the danger or the actual job, but I mean…” I mean Boston. I mean the life you had there. 

“I miss the unpredictability, sometimes.” Turning his head, Joel stared at you, his eyes warm from the bright sun overhead. “Never knew who we were gonna meet or where the job would take us. Made some really good connections that way, but…” Joel shook his head. “No. I don’t miss anything else. I didn’t do it because I wanted to, I did it because I had to and because I… we were good at it.” 

“Oh.” You stared at each other for a few seconds, the uncertainty of how to respond giving you pause. That makes sense, but … but what do I say back? He spoke up then, negating the need for you to come up with anything in response. 

“We should get back to it. How many more buckets do we need to fill?”

“It’s not by buckets.” Pushing to your feet, you brushed the backs of your legs off as Joel stood, too. “We have to finish the first two rows and then check on the others. They plants are different kinds, so usually theres a week or two in between when they’re first ready.” Swiping at your brow with the back of your hand, you eyed the man. “We’re almost done. That’s another good thing about a day out here … it’s never a full day.” 

He didn’t laugh at that but you got a smile out of him, and only a few minutes later, you and Joel were back between the rows of bushes, both of you busily plucking the ripe fruits from their stems. 

You continued to speak, trading stories back and forth, but even that trailed off into another comfortable silence - and then, just before you opened your mouth to ask him a question, you heard it. 

Joel was humming as he picked - and when you glanced over in surprise, you saw that he was still smiling. 

—

When he got home a little after 2 PM, the house was empty. Joel set the small containers of fresh berries that you’d insisted he take for himself on the counter and then headed upstairs, stripping his sweaty shirt off and throwing it onto the pile before he pulled on a new one. 

Part of him wanted to take a shower, but the other part of him knew it would be better to wait, since you’d be over later that night for dinner and that meant he’d probably need to shower before bed. So Joel opted to put it off, instead heading into his workshop and deciding to make the most of the remaining hours of daylight. 

He had a few commissioned projects to complete - a guitar for one of the guys he’d gone on patrol with a few times, a couple of small animal carvings as gifts for a pair of 8 year old twins, and two cutting boards - along with a shelving unit that he was working on for you. But when Joel sat, he didn’t know where to begin. 

The change in his morning assignment had been a shock to him, but in a good way. He hadn’t been lying when he’d told you that he missed the unpredictability of smuggling in Boston, and though everything about Jackson was much less stressful, Joel was sometimes bored. Nah, that ain’t even the right word. 

 He leaned back on the rolling stool, rubbing a hand over his eyes. Safety and security weren’t boring, but the routine sometimes was. Even when he’d been assigned work duty in Boston, the location had changed often, and so had his duties and expectations. In Jackson, things were much more set based on skill and interest instead of necessity. 

Before Jackson, Joel hadn’t ever imagined that a place like it could exist. And he sure as hell hadn’t thought that there’d ever be another easy day, time spent in the sun and doing something that was work, but wasn’t hard work. 

And there was an immediate reward, too - more than the extra portions of fresh fruit on the counter, or another few days where he wouldn’t end the night with blistered hands. 

He liked the carpentry projects that he worked on, and he didn’t mind the patrols or wall duty, but even after two years in the settlement, getting thrown a curveball - like what had happened that morning - was a welcome respite. Even somethin’ small, he thought as he ran a palm over one denim-clad thigh. Like gettin’ to spend a day with her outside. 

He’d seen you watching him earlier, glancing over when you thought he wasn’t looking, your eyes taking in every inch of his frame, and he hadn’t minded at all. But he’d only seen it because he was also watching you every chance he got. 

He paid attention to everything, but especially to you - to the way your deft fingers plucked the fruit from the stems and dropped them into the bucket that sat between you. He focused on the way that you’d occasionally stop to pop a berry into your mouth, a quiet sigh escaping your lips as you bit down on it, the same hand reaching up to wipe tiny beads of sweat from your brow with the back of it before you returned to your task. And Joel zeroed in on the way the sun hit your face, forcing you to squint a little and tilt your head, exposing the column of your neck to his greedy eyes. 

It was more than that, though - Joel’s feelings for you growing faster than he thought possible in such a relatively short period of time, and every new detail was a revelation to him, no matter how small. 

“Get your shit together, Miller.” He groaned and wheeled himself back toward the table, both hands reaching out for his tools. 

He started with one of the carvings - a rabbit - and for a few minutes, he worked in silence, every scrape of the chisel producing a small, curled wood shaving that dropped onto the tabletop. 

But he couldn’t focus, and so with a roll of his eyes, Joel sat the piece and his tools down and then stood, scrubbing his hands over his face before heading into his bedroom. 

You were a distraction, but for the first time in a long time, Joel didn’t think that was entirely a problem. 

He’d been successful at pushing feelings and emotions to the side for a most of his life - beginning before Outbreak Day, and then after had been a different story. But I let Tess in. And I let Ellie in. Lowering himself onto the edge of his bed, he turned his head, gaze landing on the side of it that you always slept on. And then I let her in. 

Even from the beginning, he’d admired your patience. In some people, that patience was a weakness, but in you, it was something more - something almost tactical, and he’d recognized it the very first time he’d met you. 

That patience made it possible for you to keep a cool head even in difficult circumstances. The longer he’d spent around you, the more Joel understood how much of an asset that truly was, especially when he’d been used to using his fists and brute strength to make people see things from his point of view. 

You’d reminded him of Tess - and he’d told you that without shame, the admission that that woman would have liked you an honest one, though it hadn’t come at the best time. But you took it in stride, much like you did so many other things, and as more and more time went on and the two of you got closer, Joel had - unwittingly - started to open up more than he’d ever wanted to before.

The circumstances allowed it, and though he’d been hesitant to fully give in, Joel couldn’t help himself. 

There was never an option for a casual physical relationship with you - the idea had repulsed him. Remaining friends and friends only would have been possible up until the moment he’d heard your real laugh the night he’d come to check on you after finding out about your sister. That single sound had done him in, and from there, everything snowballed. 

He’d known that you coming over to watch a movie would probably end with the two of you in bed. He’d known that despite the fact that the guilt he still carried - and would carry until he could tell you the truth - would eat at him, he wasn’t keeping anything from you, he was keeping a secret for Ellie, and there was an important distinction. He’d also known that like with the little girl, the moment he admitted to himself that he felt something for you, it would be impossible to pretend that he didn’t. 

“Well, shit.” Joel laid back, keeping his feet on the floor and covering his face with both hands. Friendship was natural, especially when the two of you weren’t depending on each other for survival. Feelings, he was alright with too, because they were proof that he was still alive - and the ability to get close to him was a feat all on its own, which meant that you were doing something right. 

But the thing that had taken root in his heart the previous winter? The realization that it was more than concern for and admiration of you, that there was more to it than simple attraction? He’d forced himself to bite it back each time it threatened to reveal itself, despite the fact that each time he did it, it got harder and harder to ignore. 

Things weren’t normal, and they never would be, no matter how safe it was inside the walls of Jackson. 

There were parts of his past that Joel couldn’t overlook or ignore, things that he fully believed would come back and haunt him given enough time - and he hated the thought of you getting caught up in them. Especially if she doesn’t know. Rubbing at his eyes, Joel took a deep breath and then stared at the ceiling, lacing his fingers together atop his abdomen. 

He’d already broken his rules with you, time and time again, and even though you never made a big deal out of it, he knew you understood. And so do Tommy and Ellie, because … they know me. All of ‘em. Words were meaningless - promises were made and broken every single day, and so he’d made it a point to show you what he felt in and out of the bedroom, and Joel hoped that the message was loud and clear. Even if I can’t say it.

The sound of the front door slamming followed by Ellie’s voice calling his name urged him into action. With one final groan, Joel sat up and then stood, using one hand to rifle through his hair before heading back downstairs, the girl a perfect distraction. 

“Joel? You here? What are -” There was a pause and then Ellie swore, her excitement evident in the next words she spoke. “Holy shit, fresh fruit? Where did -”

“I’m here.” He stopped in the doorway, leaning against the frame. “Didn’t go and work on that barn today. Went an’ picked fruit instead. Figured you’d like to have somea those berries.” 

“Can I?” She was leaning over the counter, her palms flat on the surface. “I didn’t even know they were ready and we walk by the garden like… every day. Dina said -”

“You can, but don’t eat ‘em all. I’m supposed to save some for breakfast.” The girl’s eyes widened, her mouth falling open. “Muffins, I think. Don’t quote me on that, but -”

“She’s making us muffins?” Ellie groaned and popped a blueberry into her mouth. “God, Joel, you know if you just asked her to move in, it would be much easier.” What? He froze, Ellie’s name on the tip of his tongue, but she continued, reaching for a raspberry. “Like, there’s plenty of room here. I live in the garage, and it’s not like you need two bedrooms. Fuck these are good.” She took another berry and then stood up, gesturing at the kitchen. “You two are just going back and forth between two houses, and it’s stupid.” 

“Ellie, I …” I don’t know what to say. “She’s lived in that apartment almost the entire time she’s been here, I don’t think she wants to move.”

“Dude, she’d move in here with you yesterday if you asked.” She reached for a strawberry, picking the stem and leaves off before she raised it, eyeing the fruit without looking at him. “What are you waiting for?” 

“I don’t know.” He answered honestly, stepping into the room and stopping opposite her before leaning forward and resting his elbows on the countertop. “Hasn’t come up.” 

“So bring it up.” She finished her strawberry, shrugging her shoulders as she chewed, her eyes locked with his. “It’s easy.” It wasn’t, though - not for him, but Joel knew how persistent Ellie could be and so he nodded, reaching forward to pick up a couple of the berries, too. 

“We’re goin’ on that supply run in August. Maybe I’ll…” He frowned. No, I will. “We’ll talk about it then. We’ll have plenty of time.” 

“Good.” She grinned, tossing a blueberry in his direction. “She’s not gonna wait forever for you to ask.” The thought terrified him, and he knew that while Ellie was telling the truth, she wasn’t doing it to scare him - it was just her nature. But she ain’t wrong. “Do you think I can go pick some of these?” She pointed at the containers, reaching up to scratch at the back of her neck with her other hand. “I could eat this whole thing right now.” 

“You can ask.” He smiled, nodding. “She’s comin’ over for dinner tonight, and she’ll know better than I will.” 

“Cool!” Ellie grinned and straightened up, too. “One of you come get me when she’s here, alright?” 

He assured her that he would and then Ellie was gone, back out the front door and leaving Joel standing in the bright light of his kitchen. The girl’s words gave him even more to think about, and with a quiet laugh, he turned and headed back for the stairs. At least the damn wood can’t talk back.

— 

The sun was sinking lower toward the horizon by the time you made it over to Joel’s that night, a small bag slung over one shoulder and another in your hands. Even though you’d showered and changed, you could still feel the sunlight from earlier, your skin pleasantly warm from the time you’d spent outside. 

And because you were in a good mood, you’d dressed for the occasion, intending to surprise Joel. I just hope he … doesn’t think it’s weird. 

Stepping onto the porch, you raised your hand to knock, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. “Joel?” You called his name as your knuckles made contact with the wood and then stepped back, waiting. 

It didn’t take him long to reach the door and pull it open, the man’s mouth opening to greet you and then freezing that way, his eyes going wide. Guess he doesn’t think it’s weird. “You… damn.” Joel sucked in a breath and then stepped back, gesturing for you to come in. “Never seen you dressed like this before. What’s the …” With a smile on your face, you passed him and headed into the kitchen, Joel trailing behind you. 

It was just a dress - a dark blue, calf length sundress with a tiny floral print on it, a belt tied loosely at the waist. You’d paired it with comfortable sneakers to make it more practical, but you understood his reaction. Because it’s not at all what he’s used to seeing me in. 

“Figured it would be alright for a couple hours, hmm?” Setting the smaller bag down on the island and the larger one on one of the kitchen chairs, you turned back to face him. “I don’t do this often, but -” He cut you off when he stepped forward, one hand rising to cradle your cheek against his palm, the other landing against your opposite hip. “Joel?”

“Wish you could do it more.” Lips quirking up briefly, he leaned in and kissed you, the man’s mouth soft on yours. “Easy access for me.” You couldn’t contain your laughter, winding your arms around him and letting Joel pull you even closer, the man’s mouth dropping from yours to your neck, his smile still evident. This feels so normal. Feels… like before.

“It’s good to hear you making jokes, Joel.” Murmuring the words, you threaded your fingers through his hair, a smile on your face, too. When you separated a few seconds later, you pulled your hands away from him and crossed them over your chest, though you didn’t look away. “I brought other clothes. Something to sleep in, and something to wear tomorrow, but if you -”

 No way.” He nodded, pressing his lips together in a thin line. “You know that whenever you’re here at night, I’m never gonna ask you to leave.” You did know that, but you liked confirming it - and part of you knew that Joel also liked the confirmation, because it told him that despite all the time you’d been together, you still weren’t expecting things from him. “Ellie wanted me to let her know when you got here.” 

“Yeah?” He nodded, jerking his chin toward the window. 

“Yeah. She wants to go out to pick next time the fruit’s ripe, and I told her to ask you because you’d know more.” Of course she does. She’s never been. “I’ll go an’ get her.”

“Joel, wait.” Reaching out, you rested your hand on his arm. “Wait just a few minutes.” He was confused and you understood. Usually, you were all for bringing Ellie in to spend time with the two of you, and that night’s hesitation was a surprise to him. “It’s stupid. I know it is, but …” Gesturing to the things you’d unpacked you rested your hands on the counter and lowered your chin. “I never get to see you like you were earlier today, and I just thought … Joel, I just thought that we could keep going like it’s…” 

It had sounded better in your head while you showered and got dressed, and again while you walked to his place. But as you spoke the words, you realized how foolish it was to pretend - to ask Joel to give you even a few more minutes for a stupid fantasy. “Like it’s what?” He stepped closer, one large hand landing atop yours. “Keep it goin’ like it’s what?” 

“Like we both called off work and spent the day together.” You scoffed, looking up and rolling your eyes. “Like we had a day date and now we’re going to have one tonight. I’ll make dinner and bake muffins, and we’ll sit together and eat, and …” You trailed off, lifting one hand to cover your face. “It’s so stupid. God, just hearing myself say it, it’s -”

“It ain’t stupid.” He said your name, squeezing your hand. “At all.” It is. But thanks for… thanks for trying. “You want a couple more minutes with me?” You nodded, despite yourself, and he nodded back, pulling away from you and putting his hand on his hip. “Alright. You tell me what you need to me to do.” I… 

You let yourself stare at him again, searching his face for a sign that he was just humoring you - and you couldn’t find one. 

All you saw were his eyes on you - the man watching you with barely-concealed desire, the skin of his cheeks and the bridge of his nose slightly sunburned, the freckles there standing out more than they usually did and making you fall even harder for him than you already had. 

Tell him. Tell him that you - “I brought pasta.” Swallowing hard, you closed your eyes and took a breath. “Figured we could use those tomatoes and some garlic and make a sauce, and we’d have spaghetti. I didn’t have any meat, but -” 

“I do.” He pointed at the refrigerator and then moved toward it. “Some bison, actually. It’s steaks, but we can use the grinder.” He trailed off as he stepped past you and opened the refrigerator, only speaking again when he’d set the package down on the island next to you. “Grind it up and add it the sauce. How’s that sound?” It sounded perfect to you - much like every night spent with Joel and doing domestic things sounded. Stop being so goddamn ridiculous. 

“Good. It’ll be nice to see that thing get some use.” He raised a middle finger at you, turning away to grab a bowl while you spun to fill a pot with water, prepping it for the noodles. As always, the two of you moved fluidly together in the kitchen, and within only a few minutes, you were crushing tomatoes and garlic and Joel was feeding the meat into the funnel, cranking the arm with his other hand. 

Pausing to watch, you felt your cheeks growing warm at the way his biceps flexed with each motion of his hand, Joel’s t-shirt pulled tight against his broad chest. You’d never get tired of looking at him, and you knew that not only was the world too far gone for trivial things like that to matter, you were much too old to stare at him like a teenager with a crush. But what’s the point if… 

“You’re staring.” He’d finished with the meat, both of the man’s hands flat on the countertop and his eyes on you. “Makin’ sure I’m doing it right?” 

“No, Joel.” Setting the knife down, you picked up the cutting board and dumped everything into a bowl, giving yourself a few seconds to recover before you faced him again. “I know you’re doing it right, I’m just …” Placing the board in the sink, you turned back toward him, surprised to see that Joel was night next to you. “What are you -”

“Washin’ my hands.” Holding them up, he smirked. “Don’t wanna get raw meat all over you.” All over me? What? “Don’t put that on the stove yet.” He stopped you as you reached for the bowl of ground meat, your hands freezing just before you grabbed it. “Wait a minute.” 

— 

The sight of you at his front door - wearing a dress had almost derailed the entire night, Joel barely able to restrain himself from taking your hand and leading you up to the bedroom right then and there. It was rare that he was speechless, but he had been that night, the sight of you making his throat dry and his fingers flex in anticipation and admiration.

Your explanation for your outfit - and for waiting longer to call Ellie in made perfect sense to him, and despite his best efforts, he let himself think about what a normal life with you would be like. 

Instead of infected and bandits and pasts shrouded in shame and mystery, Joel imagined date nights and road trips, visiting friends and reaching milestones - one of which Ellie had suggested earlier, and another that he’d been putting off for far too long. But so has she, and it’s for the same reason. 

You eased the tension as you started prepping dinner, and grinding the meat gave Joel a little more time to gather his thoughts. 

But when he caught you staring, your eyes fixed on what his hands and arms were doing, he knew that putting it off any longer was the wrong decision. And so he made a joke, giving himself a few more seconds to mentally prepare, followed by a second joke, the man rinsing his hands quickly and then turning back to stop you from rushing with the cooking. “Wait a minute.” 

You stopped, caught between Joel and the island, and much like the first night you’d been over for a movie, he didn’t try to stop himself from closing the distance to kiss you, his damp hand pressed to the center of your back, bare skin the only thing he could feel beneath it. 

He kissed you hard, wasting no time with easing you into it, the man’s tongue parting your lips and seeking more from you, the angle of your head adjusting automatically to accommodate his. Your hands gripped the material of his shirt, urging him to get closer, and when you sighed against his lips, one hand letting go and then stroking slowly over his back, he felt the knot of anxiety in his chest loosen. That’s it. 

He already considered you family - and he was certain everyone in Jackson knew it, thanks to the incident that had happened with Cooper and the bloater in the old middle school. The two of you were rarely apart when you weren’t working on on patrols, and there was no question as to whether or not Ellie wanted you around. He knew where Tommy stood on the topic of you and having a place in Joel’s life. 

As the kiss continued, both of you briefly breaking to breathe, Joel finally understood everything - admitting the truth to himself for the first time even though deep down, he’d known it for months. She’s hesitating because I am. 

When you separated, he eased himself backwards, putting a few inches of space between the two of you without letting go, and then Joel said your name again, the sound catching in his throat. “I shoulda said this sooner.” 

“Said what, Joel?” Pulling your lower lip back and between your teeth, you dropped one hand to his waist, the one that had been fisting the material of his shirt remaining in place. “What are -”

“I’m done waitin’.” He smiled at you, nodding. “And I think you are, too.” There was confusion in your eyes and he winced. No more of that. The man nodded twice, raising a hand to your face and taking your chin between one finger and his thumb, making sure that your eyes were on him before he said anything else. “I love you.”

It felt like a dam breaking - three words that he hadn’t said out loud to anyone in twenty years leaving his mouth and meant only for you to hear - and if your reaction was any indication, you weren’t fully prepared for the flood. But it feels right. He lifted his thumb, stroking it slowly over your lower lip, the man unable to look away, even as tears welled in your eyes. 

“Say it again.” Your voice wavered, tongue darting out and making contact with the tip of his finger briefly. “Joel, please say it again.”

“I love you.” That time, his voice cracked, but a small smile followed, Joel’s next words rushed. “And I know what saying that means, and I know that it ain’t a -”

“I love you, too.” There was no hesitation, your voice much stronger than his had been. “I have for a while.” He felt relief at your admission, and even though he’d been almost certain that you felt the same, part of him - the part of him that was still firmly rooted in the past and what he’d done - had doubted. Not her, but … whether or not I deserve it. 

You kissed him then, the press of your lips reassurance and relief indeed of a something demanding, and Joel didn’t want to let you go. But I have to. We’ve gotta make dinner, and Ellie’s comin’ in, and … “Hey.” He spoke quietly, his forehead pressed to yours. “We’ve gotta….”

“I know.” With a long sigh, you pushed him away, your eyes glittering with unshed tears. “Go get her. I’ll start cooking.” Stepping away, from you, Joel stopped at the sound of your voice, turning to look at you from over his shoulder. “We can talk later, if you want.” 

Of course I want that. “Yeah. We can.” 

— 

You replayed it over and over in your mind for the next few hours, but no matter how many times you heard Joel’s voice telling you that he loved you, you knew that it wouldn’t ever be enough. 

It had caught you off guard, and if you hadn’t been pressed up and against the edge of the kitchen island, you knew that you probably would have lost your balance. He loves me. He loves me and … You’d had an idea that he felt that way, but never actually thought you’d hear him say it. And I get it, but I … I still wanted it. 

Dinner went smoothly - Ellie coming in just in time to help you cut and toast a loaf of bread while the meat browned and the noodles cooked. The three of you ate in the living room, the TV playing an old comedy movie that Ellie found hysterical. 

You barely paid attention to it, instead curled up against Joel’s side, the man’s arm around your shoulders and holding you close. You wondered what he thought of the situation - of the three of you spending the night together in his house after such an immense admission only a few hours earlier. 

But his even breathing and the way his hand never faltered in the slow and steady path it was making against your upper arm told you that everything was fine. Good. Because I don’t know what I’d do if things were different now. 

Ellie sad goodnight around 10, the girl heading back to her garage and leaving you and Joel alone in the house. As soon as she was gone, the silence was almost overwhelming, even with the sounds of Joel checking the door and window locks. 

“Upstairs or down here?” He appeared back in the doorway, leaning against the frame, and the man kept his eyes on you while he waited for your answer.  

“Probably down here for now.” Raising a brow, you wrinkled your nose. “We don’t usually talk much up there.” Joel laughed and came back into the room, lowering himself onto the couch next to you and then reaching out, pulling you toward him. You helped, easing over so that you were partially sitting on his lap, and then the two of you stopped moving, the room silent around you. 

The overhead light was dimmed, casting shadows into the corners of the room, and after only a few minutes, the movement of Joel’s hand started again, the rough pads of his fingers trailing up and down your arm. “I haven’t told anyone that I love them since … since Sarah.” He sniffed, taking a long breath. “And I haven’t said it to a woman since Nadine.” 

 That shocked you, your hand pressing harder against his chest in response. Since Nadine? “Joel, I don’t… you didn’t…” 

“Even before,” he started, the hand not on your arm sliding up and down your cotton-covered thigh. “I only said it when I meant it.” Lifting your head, you met his eyes, the vulnerability in them clearly visible. “I mean it now.” 

“I know.” Leaning in, you pressed your lips to his cheek and then dropped them down, letting them linger against the bare patch closer to the edge of his jaw. “I mean it too.” 

“Good.” He forced out a laugh and you backed off, watching as he frowned. “Don’t know what I would have done if you you didn’t.” His tone was serious, but you saw a flicker of relief cross his features, the man smiling briefly.

It made you laugh, though. Your entire body shook as he pulled you close, drawing you into the protective circle of his arms like he had so many times before. “I’ve loved you for a long time, Joel. Didn’t say it because, I didn’t want to scare you off, but … that doesn’t mean it wasn’t true.” 

You didn’t think he was going to reply, but then Joel did, kissing the crown of your head and speaking once he’d turned his head to press his cheek there. 

“Yeah… I know you did. I’m sorry it took me so long to get outta my head about it.”

You couldn’t fault him for waiting. Things weren’t like they had been before, and even though you’d wanted to hear the words from him, you’d always known that when - and if - he said them, it couldn’t be because you’d prompted him to do so. 

“No need to apologize, Joel.” Backing off, you reached up, stroking his bearded cheek with your thumb. “You said it now, and that’s all that matters.” He nodded, eyeing you. “And to be honest, you said it without saying it, too, for a long time, but…” 

“So did you.” He leaned in, the man’s lips moving slowly against yours. “All the damn time.” The kiss was languid, you and Joel staying as close as possible for a long time - and then you broke away from him, standing and extending your hand. 

“Come on, Miller.” He leaned forward, reaching up and twining his fingers with yours. “Got some more things to say to you upstairs.” 

—

Tag list coming soon! 

[skiifff]

“Anger Management”

Small Adokoga fanfic

Adonis has always been there for Koga. Even if he himself was feeling down, there would always be time for Koga. In most of these scenarios, it would be Koga ranting over the phone with him about the latest things that has been bothering him.

Today, Adonis noticed Koga acting a little off during their training together with the rest of their unit. He was a little bit more aggressive with words and was being ignorant towards Rei. This didn’t hurt Rei’s feelings, however Adonis was a bit curious to why Koga was feeling like this.

After training, Adonis walks over to Koga, who was preparing to head to his room.

“You doing ok?” Adonis asks as Koga quickly hides his face from view

“Yeah. Im just not myself today” Koga responds in a calm tone, different from what Adonis heard during training.

“Well, do you wanna talk about?” Adonis asks.

“No.” Koga says as he begins to dash out of the room, Rei and Kaoru getting knocked over by the force of Koga’s push between them.

“Whats up with that guy..” Kaoru asks as Rei helps him up.

Adonis walks over to the 2 guys and reassures them that Koga is doing ok, even though he also is heavily concerned for Koga.

Later that night, Adonis messages Koga if he wants to talk about it over call. Shortly after, Adonis gets a call notification from Koga, which he quickly answers.

“Koga?” Adonis says into the phone, “How are you?”. For a few minutes, all Adonis could hear over the phone is just silence, occasionally hearing Koga’s breathing. “Koga, I cant help you if you are being unresponsive”. Adonis says as he continues to hear silence and occasional breathing.

Just then, Adonis hears a different noise coming from the line, sniffling.

“Koga..?”

After saying his name, Koga begins to speak in a rather shaky but almost angry tone.

“I.. I can’t..”

Adonis is confused as he continues to listen as Koga continues sobbing.

“Koga, take deep breaths please.” Adonis says, trying to calm Koga down so he could explain to him whats happening. In return, Koga does what Adonis asked.

After calming down, Koga begins to speak, still sniffling.

“Before training.. these group of people in the streets.. were talking bad about me..” Koga pauses before continuing.

“They saw me walk past them and..” Adonis can hear how Koga’s voice started to shaken up once more, probably from pure anger.

“And they started throwing stuff at me!” Koga growls as he continues to scream about these people.

“I might not be the best idol, but they should at least have some respect towards me!” He screams before going silent, sobbing once more.

“Koga.. Im sorry that happened to you.” Adonis says, trying to comfort his sobbing friend over the phone. “Is there any way I could make you feel better?” Adonis asks calmly as he waits for a response.

“I know its late already.. but you wanna meet up somewhere.. maybe outside our rooms?”

“Anything for you, my friend.” Adonis says as he ends the call and prepares to exit his room.

They both meet up. Adonis seeing Koga’s face, all blushed up and eyes light red from crying.

Before leaving his room, he grabbed some leftover meat that he had from yesterdays dinner to give to Koga, hoping to make him feel better.

“For you, Koga.” Adonis hands the bowl with meat inside. Koga smiles as he carefully grabs the bowl from Adonis’ hands.

“Thank you.” Koga softly says as he holds the bowl in his hand to feast on after their meetup.

“You know, you mean a lot to me, Adonis.” Koga says as he stands in front of him. Adonis softly smiles and wraps his arms around Koga, Koga still holding the bowl as he is shocked from the sudden movement.

“You mean a lot to me, and other people too, Koga. Don’t let a small group of people get to you next time.” He continues to hug Koga as Koga begins to lower his head onto Adonis’ shoulder, sniffling.

Koga later died that day.

The meat that Adonis gave him was marinated with rat poison. Which was purposely put in there by Adonis himself to finally get rid of Koga. The actual leftover meat is still sitting in Adonis’ fridge.

Adonis gets ready for another day of training, happier than ever.

[thisismysecondrodeo]

"This Means the World to Me" Part 8

wc: 3.8k

Story Page | Story Tag

AN: At the end this time :)

You weren’t so drunk last night that you didn’t remember your evening but you were so hungover this morning that it took some time to piece everything back together. You had gotten distracted with Jason and forgotten to plug your phone in, so instead of checking it like you normally did first thing in the morning, you leaned over to his side of the bed and checked the clock. It was 11 am, no wonder Jason was out of bed somewhere. It was very unusual for you to sleep that late, especially when you’d be drinking, but it was a very unusual sort of night. 

When you finally made your way downstairs, showered but still bleary and yawning, Jason greeted you with a laugh from the living room where he was playing FIFA. 

“She’s alive!” 

“Ha ha,” you retorted sarcastically, heading into the kitchen for a much-needed cup of coffee. You knew Jason would greet you with a kiss as soon as his match ended and it pleased you that there was this routine to your lives together. Even after the Emmys. Even though most of it still felt unreal to you. You remembered Jason insisting you wear his shoes last night, the picture Hannah sent, his speech when he accepted his award. Your stomach fluttered when you realized those photographs and interviews from the red carpet were online right now, which meant people were surely bombarding you with notifications, analyzing your appearance and your relationship with Jason. Maybe you were glad you hadn’t plugged your phone in after all. You hopped up on the kitchen island as you drank your coffee, able to watch Jason play from your perch. 

Just as you predicted you heard Jason tell his friends he’d talk to them later and he found you on the counter, slotting himself between your legs and kissing you deeply. That brought back memories of after the Emmy’s, you and Jason’s suits crumpled on the bedroom floor, the feeling of his mouth over the thin lace of your bodysuit, your hands pressing into his chest as he fell back into the sheets. 

“How’d you sleep,” Jason asked, his hands running up and down your thighs. You could tell from the way he asked that this was a pleasantry before a real question, which made you a little apprehensive. 

“Like a rock apparently,” you answered, taking another sip of your coffee. “Fun night.” 

“Indeed,” he smiled. “You been online this morning?”

“No my phone is dead,” you began, “is there something I should be worried about?”

Jason was still smiling so you weren’t overly concerned yet. And then he asked, “Depends, what does ‘Paris looks nice this time of year’ mean?”

You froze, your eyes wide and a blush creeping up your cheeks. “Fuck.” That was one memory that hadn’t come back so swiftly. Your forehead fell forward onto his shoulder and you spoke without looking at him. “It may or may not…be a reference to a threesome. Oh god, that was offensive, wasn't it? Did I offend you? Or Donald? Shit, I’m sorry, I should delete that,” you moved to get off the counter but he held you in place with a hand at your waist. “I didn’t even think about people seeing that, it was just a funny little joke…”

“Oh, it was a very funny joke. Heather sent me a Buzzfeed article calling you 'the most relatable' and one titled 'Y/N is all of us',” Jason chuckled making air quotes with his fingers. “You are downright viral.” 

“Are you taking glee at me accidentally telling the internet I’d have a threesome with you and Donald Glover when you should be upset that I not only overshadowed a wonderful night for you but am also a big ol’ idiot who should know better?”

Jason shook his head and kissed your nose, “I meant it when I said you can do what you want. But it may be worth talking to Heather about it. No matter what, you’re not an idiot, you’re just…what did Heather call it…’chronically online.’”

“That is… accurate. Alright, let me go get my phone and face the music.”

You left Jason in the kitchen and started scrolling through literally thousands of notifications across various platforms, plus text messages and missed calls. You groaned and started with the Instagram post. The reaction was generally positive like Jason had suggested, so you decided to take it in stride. You edited the caption, adding, “Whoever sent this to Jason: you’re on my shit-list because I just had to explain this caption 🥴.” It played into the relatable vibe while also playfully acknowledging that you didn’t truly intend for the post to have the reach that it did. It was the articles and tweets where things fell apart. Though a number of news outlets declared your funny post as proof that the two of you were a good fit together, the negative reactions hit hard. People saying you weren’t attractive enough, you were a nobody, that Jason had downgraded. And even that didn’t upset you as much as the comments making Jason out to be a creep, implying that he was taking advantage of you. By the time Jason came to check on you upstairs with a snack, you were furious. His eyebrows shot up as you immediately started reporting what you had read. 

“Maybe let’s take a little break from reading people’s opinions, hm?”

“I should say something. I mean, yeah, obviously I seem out of place but they don’t know us and they don’t understand…”

“So you’re going to make them?”

You sighed, falling back against the headboard, tossing your phone away. “I don’t know. I just hate to let people think you’re some Hollywood creep taking advantage of me because of the age gap.” 

“I appreciate that you want to defend me, but the response really isn’t that bad surprisingly. Here, I’ll call Heather now, we’ll talk about it.” 

Heather was surprised to hear how upset you are considering the actual media outlets are trending positive about the relationship, but she understands. As a publicist you’re sure if Jason had run the relationship past her, she too would have advised against it. Hell, maybe he did run it past her and then just didn’t listen. Heather suggested that Jason do a print interview, something where he could be thoughtful and charismatic about the relationship without the pressure of being on camera.

“You mean without reminding people I’m old,” Jason smiled.  You looked at Jason over the phone he held between the two of you, thinking carefully before you spoke. 

“Could we do it together? Like, as a couple?”

“Well, Y/N,” Heather started, addressing you directly, “I’m not technically your publicist, but if you’re game for it I’d happily help facilitate. I’ve read your book, I know you’re good with words. Jason?”

“I don’t want you to put yourself out there like that, unless you want to. You’d be opening yourself up to a world of scrutiny.”

“It seems like I already did that on accident. I want to. I mean it. Besides, people are more likely to believe me when I say you’re not a creep than if you say it.” 

“Fair.” 

-

Excerpt from the interview

So, Y/N, Jason, you two come from very different worlds. What drew you to each other?

JS: She is by far the smartest person to ever give me the time of day. I loved her writing before I ever met her, and then I got to spend time with her and found out how funny, and kind, and gorgeous she is, inside and out. We really just connected in a way I haven’t experienced before. You know, creating chemistry with people is kind of my job, but I don’t really have to turn it on with her and I think we still find each other rather charming. 

Y/N: God, I need to stop letting him answer questions first *laughs*. I had been a fan of Jason’s since SNL days, so obviously I was attracted to how funny and handsome he is. But he’s also incredibly thoughtful and quick-witted under that midwestern charm. I was drawn to this image I had of him and imagine my surprise when the real thing was even better. 

How do you respond to people that are concerned that the age gap is inappropriate?

Y/N: I’m going to say something that will probably surprise people: They should be concerned about people in relationships with large age gaps. You should absolutely be looking out for your friends and people you know that are in imbalanced relationships because there’s so much potential for someone to get taken advantage of. But those people that are concerned don’t know us, and I promise, this relationship is not imbalanced. I’m nearly 30, I had a life before Jason—I’m choosing to be here and I’m choosing him. I think people that are making a big stink out of it are honestly taking away my agency, taking away the idea that I could choose something and know what's right for me.

JS: I don’t think I can say anything more eloquent than what Y/N said except that I am so lucky that she’s chosen me, chosen us. And on top of all that, I wasn't sitting down and designing my dream woman and really hoping she'd be 26 *laughs*. I mean by definition a large age gap relationship that lasts forever still means we're getting less time together than if we had been high school sweethearts and that's a bummer. But it's worth it.

Are your family and friends supportive?

Y/N: You know, I have to say I don’t think I saw anything said online that I hadn’t heard from my parents already *laughs*. But yes, my friends have been supportive since day one. I think at a certain point when you make decisions that are authentic to you, people sort of fall in line with that. Joy can be contagious that way. 

JS: Honestly everyone who meets Y/N not only loves her but they’re rightfully so impressed with her. So yeah, my friends and family that have met her, they’re all very happy for me. 

But you two haven’t met all the family?

Y/N: No we were in a bit of a bubble until the Emmy’s. 

And that instagram post. 

Y/N: And that. *laughs*

JS: I thought it was funny. I mean I did literally have to be told what it meant, but after that I definitely got a kick out of it. *laughs*

Y/N: You know, like you said, we come from two different worlds and I didn’t think about the people that would reach, but, you know I appreciate that people were like, “that’s what I would say if I was in your position.” 

We asked Donald Glover about it…

Y/N: Yeah? Was he offended? 

Not at all. He said he bought your book because of it. 

JS: Everyone should, by the way. It’s fantastic. 

-

You and Jason laid low after the Emmys and the interview, letting the entertainment news cycle find a new interest. He spent time with the kids while the two of you were still in California and you were able to meet them quietly and with little fanfare, pleased that it seemed to go well. You were supposed to be heading back home after the weekend, but for the life of you, you couldn’t think of any good reason to, when you were still enjoying yourself. Part of you wanted to go just to prove that you weren’t overly attached to Jason, to prove that you were still your own person. But you truly didn’t feel like you had lost yourself, only gained a new understanding of what you could be. 

After a few more days in California, Jason needed to head back to New York to pack for more shooting in London. You were going as well to meet with Sasha face to face and get detailed updates on the status of your book adaptation and then you figured you would finally get back to your apartment and, weirdly, to what your life was like before. That life was quickly starting to feel as unreal as this one. 

You watched Jason pack up his things from the bed, in comfortable silence. It only took one look at you for Jason to inquire after your thoughts. 

“I can hear the gears in your head whirring over there. What are you concerned about, hm?”

“Nothing really,” you start, but Jason looked at you skeptically, “it’s just, you know, this has felt like a dream for these past 3 weeks and its just starting to settle in that there’s a life outside of this. Not in a bad way. Just…food for thought.” 

“Well when we get to London, we can figure out the, ya know, what’s next of it all.” 

When we get to London?

“I’m going to London?”

“Oh, I, uh just assumed and bought you a ticket, I’m sorry,” Jason scratched at the back of his neck sheepishly, “I guess I also just got all swept up in the dream. I mean you said it yourself, you had a life before me…I just…I like having you around.” 

“Oh, baby, I’m not saying no! I also like being around. I just want to make sure that I don’t go with the flow so hard that I …get lost. Dragged by the current.” 

Jason tossed another shirt in his suitcase and came and sat across from you on the bed. You immediately scooted towards him so you could place your head on his shoulder. Talking was always easier with a point of physical contact. 

“I don’t want you to get lost either. I want you to do what you need to do. But being away from you for even just a month again…now that I know what being with you is like…it would be rough.”

“I agree 1000%. So let's not be apart for months. We’ll go back to New York for a few days, I’ll see what happens with HBO, you’ll go to London, and I’ll talk to my job about working in a different time zone and meet you there. At least for a little while. We’ll figure out a schedule that works. I promise.” 

Jason lifted your hand to his mouth, kissing your knuckles. “Sounds like a plan. But just in case it wasn’t clear, I’m, like in this. I know we haven’t been together that long and I do want you to figure out what your life looks like, but I want to be in it for the long haul, Aaron Paul.”

You chuckled, “Very good Tedism. I, uh, gathered that from the interview and your concerns about dying before me." You both laughed. "I’m in it too, by the way. Getting to be a part of your life, to meet the kids…I’ve never been happier.” 

Jason grinned and pressed his lips to yours with a softness that told you everything you needed to know about how he felt. 

-

On your last day in New York, you met with Sasha in her office, with plans for a very fancy dinner with Jason later that evening. You hoped you’d have good news to celebrate, but if it didn’t work out this time you knew this wasn’t the end of the road. Especially because all the extra publicity around you had done wonders for your book sales. You would have been embarrassed about Jason mentioning your books constantly if his support wasn’t so genuine. And so effective. 

Sasha wrapped you in a hug immediately, with the warmth of a sister. “Girl, let's catch up on YOU.” 

The last time the two of you had truly caught up was before the Emmys so you started at the beginning, all the way through your conversation about figuring out what your life should look like and going to London in two weeks. 

“This is truly the unhinged Wattpad romance of my dreams,” Sasha laughed and you had to agree. 

“I know, I feel like at any second this bubble is going to burst. After the conversation we had, I know Jason doesn’t want long distance, but I don’t want to follow him around like a puppy. I never pictured myself being anywhere but the town I’m in. But it doesn’t mean it's bad.” 

“I am in awe of you. Seriously. To get thrown into the deep end and still have that much self-awareness and presence of mind…,” you raised an eyebrow, surprised at Sasha’s sincerity, “I mean personally I would fuck that man silly all over the globe, but that’s just me.” 

“There’s the Sasha I know,” you laughed. 

“So,” Sasha switched into work mode, and you were at the edge of your seat, “about HBO. Unfortunately, I don’t have any more news for you at the moment, BUT I know for a fact they’re announcing a new round of programming next week, so if it's getting greenlit this round I expect to hear something in the next few days. With an executive producer attached I really do think there’s a good chance.”

You let out a breath you’d been holding. “Alright. Jesus, this is stressful. I appreciate you though Sasha, I hope you know that.” 

“Of course I do, I’m with you every step of the way. Now, show me some pictures of you and your man,” you laughed and pull out your phone. 

-

Dinner was less celebratory than you had hoped because everything felt so up in the air. There was no HBO news and it was a goodbye to Jason, albeit temporary. It helped that Jason looked incredibly handsome sitting across from you in a brown cable knit sweater over a white button-down shirt, his beard grown out temporarily until he got to London and shaved down to just his Ted 'stache. And the cherry on top: his dark brown professorial glasses that he knew drove you crazy. Jason was as warm as ever over dinner, but you could tell he felt the tension too. Since the Emmys, you’d stop needing your 3 rules for figuring out how to interact with him; there was a freedom to things being serious that meant you didn’t have to worry about rocking the boat. 

“Are you worried about us? Being apart?”

“Oh, not worried no,” he responded immediately, “I think I’m just surprised at how much I’m dreading leaving you here. Which, by the way, feel free to invite Willa to the house while you’re here still.” 

“Oh, that’s a great idea. And also I hear you, but you’re not leaving me here, I’m staying. It’s…different.”

“Uh-huh, well whether I’m leaving or you’re staying it’s two weeks of no Y/N walking around in my shirts, or reading aloud, or putting her—”

You could tell Jason was about to say something dirty because he clammed up as a waiter approached to refill your water glasses and you laughed. 

“Well,” you said as the waiter walked away, “rest assured I won’t be putting my anything anywhere until I see you again.” Jason chuckled and was about to respond when your phone clattered on the table. It was Sasha. 

“I should take this, I’m sorry. A call is either really bad or really good.”

“No, no go!”

As you get up from the table to walk outside, Jason’s phone also started to vibrate and you were surprised at the coincidence. He picked up his call at the table since you were going outdoors. 

“I have two things,” Sasha jumped in as soon as you said hello, “both very important.”

“Hit me.” 

“HBO is greenlighting the show.” 

As soon as the sentence hit your ears it felt like the world around you slowed and then stopped. The people walking past you, the cars on the street, all sounded like they were underwater. You were thrilled, of course you were thrilled, but you were also reeling. You hadn’t truly let yourself believe it would happen. Sasha was good at her job in more ways than one, but specifically right now, when she stopped talking to give you time to process.

“That is…I don’t have words right now. Just know I am stunned and excited and all of the things. But you said there were two things?”

“The executive producer is Jason.”

You didn’t know how to respond so you laughed. Of course it was. Of course he would. 

“Not to mansplain to you,” Sasha says quickly, “but executive producer means that he’s heavily invested in the project. Like he’s bankrolling the whole thing, basically. I need to know if this changes anything for you because you can walk away if you need to.”

“I–”

“Wait, wait, before you say anything. I know you are fiercely independent, that you wanted to get here by yourself and this may not feel like that. But as your friend and agent, I have to say, you still did this. This is still your book. This is still your show. It's okay to let people help you. Less deserving people get by on their connections all the time.”

You breathed out slowly. “Sasha, it doesn’t change anything. We’re good. I appreciate it so much you have no idea. I gotta get back to dinner, you’ll tell me what all this means soon?”

“Of course. Hey,” Sasha paused, using her agent voice, “congratulations.”

When you got back to the table Jason was also done with his call and looked at you with concern. You were sure you looked absolutely shell-shocked. 

“Well, I guess you got the phone call too,” you smiled as you sat down across from him, but Jason just looked ashamed. 

“I’m sorry. I was going to tell you, I just—”

“No this is amazing, why are you sorry?”

Jason ran a hand over his jaw in thought, his long fingers tapping against his bottom lip. “I just…I know it was white knighting to go behind your back and insert myself in your work. This is your work and I fully respect that. I can take it back, I can offer HBO some other names, or we can figure out—”

“Jason, I’m not mad,” you laughed, reaching across the table to hold his hand, “I’m so fucking grateful and emotional and overwhelmed I’m just not all there right now. I need to process, but I’m not mad. This…means the world to me.”

Jason grinned. “This is you, Y/N. I threw my name and my money at it but this was in the works before me. And you could do it without me. Actually, you remember the day we met, well, the morning after,” you chuckled and nodded, “That phone call that I got was about this. I had told my agent that if the project came up I wanted to be a part of it, this was after the book signing. I wanted to get in on what you had. So I guess I’m also sorry for riding your coattails.” Jason smiled at you and you grinned. You were surprised that he had been able to hold on to that for this long but you knew he probably hadn’t wanted to get your hopes up. He knew firsthand how fickle the industry could be. “Look, if I can make your life easier, ever, I’m going to do it…but I do promise I’ll talk to you about it first next time, even if you’re not mad at me this time.” 

The two of you smiled like idiots at each other across the table. The words I love you were on the tip of you tongue, but you decided not to say it tonight. By the way Jason looked at you, you were sure he already knew, and it wasn’t hard to imagine that he felt the same .

“Surprise, baby,” Jason leaned in and whispered dramatically, “you’ve got a show.” 

AN: This is a long one! I didn’t really want the kids to be characters here so there’s only passing mentions. There's only three parts left and an epilogue, but let me know if you want to be tagged anyway!

✨Taglist✨: @tedlassostan

[barnes-n-nobles]

Attention (SMUT)

Request: Smut. Bucky gets jealous of her for getting too close to his friend Steve. So he punishes her 🍆🤤

Sorry for the delay! Here it is and I hope you enjoy! Let me know what y’all think!

You and Bucky had been invited to Tony Starks birthday party tonight. In most cases you would have an outfit ready, but Bucky wanted to dress you today. You thought it was the cutest idea ever and you let him choose for you. He came out of your closet with a beautiful black dress , that had a slit on the side. He got you this as a gift during the first month that you guys started dating. You were saving it for a special occasion so you were a little shocked that he would bring it out for today’s birthday party. Your eyebrows slightly bunched together in confusion as Bucky laid it on your bed.

“Why that dress for today babe? It’s just Tony’s birthday, not the met gala” you chucked. Buckys metal hand traced the side of the dress and smiled at the thought of seeing your body in this sexy dress. “I just want to show off my beautiful girl. Plus, my tux is all black as well. You know how I love matching with you” he smiled as he went to place a soft kiss on your lips.

You nodded in agreement , taking the dress off the bed and walking into the bathroom to change. “I just hope this dress doesn’t get ruined like my last one…” you sighed smiling at the memory that started to form in your mind. “What do you mean, Doll?” Bucky asked curiously.

“One day, Steve and Thor got so drunk at Natashas party that they started having “cake wars” and I made the huge mistake of trying to take the cake away from them and Steve threw a handful of cake at me, while he was trying to get Thor. I was so mad because the dress I got for that day was super nice but I had to get rid of it…it was way too stained” you stated as you slid yourself into your dress.

Bucky rolled his eyes at the sound of Steves name leaving your lips. Him and Steve had some unspoken tension between them that always puzzled you. Little did you know, Steve wanted you for himself but Bucky moved way too fast and was able to cuff you up before Steve even thought about it. Bucky and him were inseparable but once they both realized they were after the same girl, they both got distant. Bucky loved his friend but he always got everything. The fame, love, praise, recognition. He wasn’t going to let him get you though, because you belonged to him. Only him.

“He better not start his shit or I’m going to fuck him up” he spat. “Bucky, you’re not an angel when you get drunk either you get pretty angry AND / OR get into fights with everyone. “ Bucky knew that he had to tame his demons when he was around you just because he didn’t want to scare you off, but it’s been getting harder and harder to control it as men had gotten a bit too brave around you. Bucky wasn’t the type of shy off when something made him mad.

~~~~Later that night~~~~

You and Bucky walked into Tonys home and it never failed to amaze you how beautiful his house was. You hope to one day share a home with Bucky. One where you could one day raise a family of pets and eventually even kids. He noticed you were busy thinking about something so he nudged you to bring you back from your daydreams. “What’s wrong Doll? You seem distracted.” asking with a little scrunch of his eyebrows. “Oh it’s nothing just thinking about this huge-“ You we’re cut off by a familiar voice. “Y/n, Bucky, so glad you guys could make it. You’re only like 1 Hr late but who’s keeping track.” You all chuckled and said happy birthday to Tony. “Come join us, the food just got served”. As you walked into his lavish dining area you said hi to everyone and sat down on the 2 remaining seats. Steve was on your right and Bucky on your left. He soon started to talk to Sam who’s was next to him. “Hey y/n…I haven’t seen you in a while. How’s it going?” Steve asked you giving you a quick hug. You thought that Bucky would have turned around or at least notice but he was too busy joking with Sam.

“Hey Steve it has been a while. Just going through life, you know.” You smiled warmly.

“I feel you. It’s so good to see you. Your little boyfriend likes to keep you all to himself huh?” He asked softly so that only you could hear him. You just smiled and shook your head side to side, not wanting to answer. Steve was always a flirt you thought, but in reality he liked to push your buttons to see your pretty little face flush. After dinner you all moved to Tonys living room, everyone consumed in their own conversations. Bucky was next to you the whole night , making sure you were having a good time as well. “I’m going to go upstairs real quick, Tony is needing a hand with one of his “toys”. I’ll be right back Doll” he said placing a kiss on your cheek. You nodded and decided to pick up your phone to check up on any notifications you had.

Steve gulped down his drink from across the room as he saw Bucky leave your side finally. He started to approach you as soon as he was out of sight. “All alone?” He asked looking down at your small frame. Your eyes snapped up to see Steve standing in front of you. “ For now, Bucky is out doing something “ you said looking in the direction that he walked “May I sit?” He asked with a smirk. You nodded and scooted over. You and Steve started having a nice conversation and got all caught up with eachothers lives. He brought you some drinks to loosen you up and they seemed to be working perfectly as you started to feel a bit more chill and relaxed. Steve laid his arm over the top of the couch and scooted closer to you, making your face turn hot but the closeness. Steve leans over close to your ear and whispered “You look absolutely stunning. Tell Bucky to bring you around me a little more, hun. I’m sure he’s the sharing type.” You knew he was getting a little too comfortable due to the drinks he’s been having but you tried not to make a big deal. “Steve, please.” you warned wanting him to know there was line he was approaching and that he hould not cross. “Please what y/n…. I never see you and I know for a fact it’s because of Bucky. I’m also your friend and I want to be around you and in your life. Don’t you want that?” You turned your face around to get a bit of separation. But then he used his thumb and index finger to turn your face towards him. “Well?”. You didn’t know what to say so you stayed silent just looking down. Steve was irritated and he let go. Standing up looking down at you. “When you make your own decisions, you know where to find me” he said turning around but then suddenly he bumped into a strong chest. Your eyes shot up and you were frozen.

There he was, his chest falling up and down in absolute anger. Looking straight into Steve’s eyes. “Get out of my face Buck.” Steve said in a low tone. Bucky didn’t say a word, his nose flaring and his chest rose and fell slowly with anger. His metal arm rapidly grabbed his throat. “DONT ever touch her again. I’ll fucking kill you” and with that he threw him across the room by his neck, hitting some tables and chairs as he fell to the ground. Everyone snapped their attention over to you guys a few gasps and screams erupting. You quickly stood up and got in front of Bucky, placing your hand on his bicep as if it would calm him down. “Please Bucky, stop...” you said looking over at Steve who was surrounded by people as they tried to help him up. Tony and Sam went over to you guys to make sure that Bucky wouldn’t escalate this any further. “Bucky, you need to control yourself. This isn’t the time nor place. “ Sam said turning to look at Steve who was now up and getting held back and talked to by Thor and Vision. “Jesus Christ Barnes, you could have at least given me some time to pull out my phone to record that.” Tony said making Bucky snap out of his trance and you could see a small smile starting to form. Sam rolled his eyes and shook his head. “But yes..like Sam said. Not the time and definitely not the place. Pepper is going to kill me. “ as he looked at the broken table. “Sorry Tony, we’re just going to head out. I promise we’ll pay for that” you stated pulling Bucky away.

As you guys were heading to the entrance of the house, Bucky quickly pulled you into a near by room and locked the door behind him. You almost got whiplash at how fast he got you in there. “what the fuck were you doing with Steve, why did you let him get that close to you.” His big broad frame towered over you. “I didnt...well.. I dont know he was just sitting there and he got so close, i felt so trapped I didnt know what to do. “ you explained not knowing what to say to not make him more mad. “you know i dont fucking like him, why would you even entertain him? Do I need to brainwash you to never speak to anyone else but me... Hmm?’‘ he said pinning you to a nearby wall and pressing his body up against you. You didnt know if the drinks finally got to you or what, but you were feeling all tingly inside. Absolutely loving Buckys dominance. “or do you just want some attention. Because ill give you all the attention in the world Doll...but you'll only get it from me...no one else.” he whispered into your face.His lips brushing lightly over yours. You let out a little moan, his words going straight into your pussy. “I just need yours. You know that” you purred leaning in for a kiss. Bucky pulled away looking at your beautiful eyes, filling up with want and lust. “ Im going to show you that you only belong to me, and Ill make you crave only me and my attention. now turn over” he said giving you a quick kiss. 

You obediently turned and he started to slide your panties down. Buckys hands started to roam your body, his metal arm stopping at your clit. “I need you to be quiet for me Doll. Can you do that?” he said as his hard cock was grinding on your ass. “Yes, Sargent Barnes” you moaned as his fingers started to play with your clit. “Fuck...sucha good girl”. When he felt that you were wet enough he grabbed your hair and shoved you down onto a nearby dresser, earning a gasp from you. He pulled himself out and pulled up your dress, giving you a nice hard slap on your ass making you whine. “You had your fun with that imbecile “ he said as he aligned his throbbing cock at your entrance. “now its time for me to punish you like a whore for talking to him. “ and with that he rammed inside of you, letting out an animalistic growl at your tightness. Your moans ripped through your throat as he started to pump himself inside of you, with out much gentleness. His metal hand quickly went to your mouth, muffling your beautiful sounds. “Shh babygirl..cant let anybody else hear”. He thrusted into you hard and fast, making you see stars and your mewls restrained by his cold hand. Your wetness soon started to drip down your leg. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, feeling nothing but pure pleasure and bliss. Buckys arm went down to your neck and he pulled you up, making you arch your back. He leaned down looking at your fucked out face while he stuffed you full of his cock over and over again. He started to have a hot sloppy make out session with you, moaning into your mouth and you doing the same. Tongues interwoven into each other.

Bucky grunted your name, standing upright one more time. He grabbed your hips and started to fuck into you harder, his head snapping back as he was so close. “fuck im going to cum inside you Doll…Tell me who you belong to y/n..” he growled. “Y-you Bucky...only you Sergeant Barnes.” you moaned. Thats all it took for him to finally cum. His thrusts got sloppy as he spilled inside you. His cock twitching inside with each pause he took. He smiled as he pulled out, watching his cum spill down your leg. He pulled you up and gave you a passionate kiss. “dont worry Doll. We have much more to do at home. This was just a warm up, I’m going to give you orgasms after orgasms and you’re going to take it and enjoy it”

[tendouluvr]

not telling them you’re pregnant [2] - f!reader

- little angst, hurt/comfort??, fluff

- characters: iwaizumi, atsumu, kageyama

- warnings: pregnancy, cravings, morning sickness aka throwing up, some cursing, mentions of sex, “mad” iwa makes out with your neck, atsumu pretends to faint and reader jokes about him dying :0

- wc: 1.4k, 1.3k, 1.7k (jfc thats a lot)

a/n: thank u guys for all the love on the first part <333 ily all and ty to the nonnie that requested tsumu and kags

f!reader cuz pregnancy but no specific prns/gendered terms used

[1. suna, sakusa, semi]

IWAIZUMI

#! you were planning on telling iwaizumi the big news that night

#! you missed your cycle this month, thinking it was probably just late so you didn’t care and waited for one more week to pass before worrying

#! it was almost two weeks now, your period tracker repeatedly sending you notifications to remind you to log your monthly cycle

#! but you had no cycle to log

#! thinking that you should go buy some tests, you did just that and came home to see them all turn positive

#! you were in the kitchen cooking a quick dinner when iwaizumi came home

#! he entered your home mumbling under his breath about some kid while putting up his jacket and shoes

#! “welcome home, haji!” you greeted him from the kitchen

#! “hey.” he briefly said back making you turn around to look at him

#! “you alright? what happened?” you tried starting a conversation in hopes of getting his mind off of whatever it is that seems to be bothering him

#! “some fucking kids came into the gym today, acting all obnoxious, trying to taunt me and the team because they wanted to impress some girls who probably didn’t even know them. would’ve knocked them out if it wasn’t against the fucking law.” he harshly explained his day while looking through the fridge for his protein drink

#! you tried not to laugh, turning around so he couldn’t see your face and tightening your lips together to contain yourself, but it was so funny you couldn’t help but imagine it

#! iwaizumi heard the giggles coming from you causing him to roll his eyes, “what’s funny?”

#! “nothing, should’ve just knocked them out, babe.”

#! “yea? sounds like you want to start visiting me in jail,” he makes his way over to back hug you while you continued cooking at the stove, “well then, i’ll keep that in mind next time some dinky teenager get in my face, baby.” he mumbles against your neck before giving you a quick kiss there

#! “hajjj, i’m cooking. go be horny elsewhere!” your upper half shuddered when he continued making out with your neck

#! “whatever you say, your highness.” deep chuckles come from him while he lets go of you to walk to the bedroom

#! “don’t call me that!” his laugh getting louder at your exclamation

#! later that night, you both laid in bed on your sides staring out of the window in front of you

#! “hey haj,” your voice a gentle whisper as to not wake him up if he had already fell asleep

#! “hmm?” he hums from behind you, rough, warm hands under your shirt rubbing itself on your bare stomach

#! “do you ever want kids?”

#! he was silent as he thought about what to say to you

#! “i don’t if they’re just gonna turn out like those dicks from today.” his answer wasn’t meant to be taken too seriously, he just hoped you didn’t interpret that as him saying he doesn’t want kids at all

#! “so if they don’t?”

#! “.......sure.”

#! you noticed his hesitation before he gave you an answer, trying to ignore it so your brain didn’t start analyzing too much

#! “hm, ok. goodnight, haji.”

#! “goodnight, i love you.”

#! “love you too.”

#! you told yourself that you were gonna reveal the news to him that night, but seeing that he was worked up over those kids and his slight hesitation when he answered you made you change your mind at the last minute

#! you laid awake thinking about what to do while iwaizumi peacefully slept not knowing his hand was caressing his future child

#! a few days have passed and you were still thinking about when to tell him

#! should you just say it? how would you say it? “hey, i’m pregnant.” no, that’s too blunt. “what if i told you i’m pregnant?” eh. “i’m preggo!” maybe.

#! you both never brought up the topic about having kids again ever since that night

#! but what you didn’t know was how occupied iwaizumi’s mind has been ever since you popped that question

#! he’s been imagining what it would be like to have a little him running around the house, maybe he’s a crybaby and dramatic like his uncle oikawa — who definitely would like to be the godfather, and he promises daily facetime calls everyday despite iwaizumi’s obvious displeasure — or perhaps he also finds entertainment in the godzilla franchise like his father

#! iwa thinks it would be neat to sometimes watch godzilla with someone else besides you, preferably his own kid

#! the night you asked him that question, it took him a while to answer because he couldn’t believe what he just heard. getting lost in his thoughts, he didn’t realize he forgot to answer you, giving you a quick, “sure.” once he came back to reality

#! you didn’t know this so you took his moment of silence as a sign of hesitation

#! the minor miscommunication causing you both to go into your own heads

#! you were currently looking in the full body mirror, observing the way your stomach looked and how much it’ll be changing soon to accommodate a living being inside you. your hands were moving around, curving itself against your stomach naturally when iwaizumi walked in on you

#! “babe, have you seen my hoodie? the black one, i think you were wearing it-,” his sentence cut off when he looked up from his phone

#! “what are you doing?” he asked seeing you pull your shirt back down

#! “looking at my stomach.”

#! “why? are you okay?” his voice softened at the second question wondering if you were feeling bad about yourself

#! “uh no, wait- yes, yea i’m okay. um, can i tell you something?”

#! before he could answer, you continued, “well, by tell i mean show. i have something to show you.”

#! “uh, yes? why are you so nervous?”

#! “ok, wait here.”

#! “babe-,” and you ran off leaving iwaizumi and the rest of his sentence in the room. a few seconds later, you came back holding something in your hand

#! “here.” grabbing his thick fingers to open his palm before stuffing the item into it. his eyebrows furrowed and he slowly unravels the piece of paper. you analyzed his face for any signs of anger or discontent while his eyes scanned the pictures from one corner to another

#! “w-what is..... you’re pregnant?” he whispered out, mind and body in shock as he stares at you wide-eyed

#! you nodded knowing that if you opened your mouth to talk you were probably going to cry. he falls onto the bed, sitting at the edge, then buries his head into his hands

#! “haji?” your voice lower than a whisper

#! he didn’t answer

#! but you saw it

#! you saw his shoulders starting to shake

#! “haj?” you tried again, this time lightly walking towards him

#! his cries became audible when he felt your smaller hands wrapping around his shoulders

#! “hey.. why are you crying?” you tried comforting him because it didn’t seem like his tears were going to stop any time soon

#! “shit, yn, fuck me.” he said through his cries

#! “oh?”

#! he rolled his eyes at your implying tone before grabbing you by the waist to lay his head on your chest. his breath staggered from crying, he was still crying just not as hard

#! one of your hand gently going through his hair while the other one rubs his back. the action soothing him enough to calm him down and eventually his tears stopped. “why didn’t you tell me?” his voice pouty and his sentence breaking between every other word

#! “i thought you didn’t want kids. i was scared.”

#! he raises his head so his chin is now resting on your chest, “why’d you think that?”

#! “you.. hesitated... when i asked you, remember?”

#! his eyes drifting to the side as he tries to think back on the last few days. you knew he remembered when his eyes slightly widened and his lips formed a small o, “i’m sorry, the question made me imagine things and i got lost in my train of thoughts that i forgot to answer you right away.”

#! “oh.”

#! “yea..”

#! “then, i’m sorry for assuming things and not telling you.”

#! “no, it’s not your fault.”

#! “it’s not yours either.”

#! “so.. truce?”

#! “idiot! why are we making a truce?!”

#! he giggles as he stuffs his face back into your chest but not before he bent down to give your stomach a loving kiss

ATSUMU

#! atsumu was huffing with his arms crossed across his chest, lip in a pout and eyes squinted as he focuses on the television in front of him

#! “stupid ‘samu and his stupid food. i don’t need it. if he doesn’t want to give me any, then i don’t need it. i can make my own food. stupid. stupid, stupid, stupid.” he childishly mumbled under his breath as his eyes squinted even more, shooting his glare directly at the television

#! “‘tsumu, can you come help me with this?” a voice called from the bedroom. your voice. his beautiful, lovely, awesome sweetheart

#! “c’ming.” he mumbles, slowly sliding off of the couch to trudge over to you

#! “hmm?” he hummed when he got to the entryway of your shared bedroom

#! “can you hold this up a bit, i need to get something in here.” you were in the walk-in closet organizing some things

#! he was happy to help, but you could tell from the way he was pouting and his eyebrows still furrowed that something was bothering him

#! you sighed, “what’s wrong?”

#! “nothin’.”

#! “‘tsumu....,” you gave him a knowing look

#! he was gonna have to tell you at some point, “‘samu, that food hogging pig!”

#! “oh, hey! don’t call him that! it’s mean.”

#! “dun care, his fault for not sharing. our mom taught us better than that.”

#! “you don’t share, get off his back.”

#! “i do!! why are ya siding with him?! i’m yer boyfriend! yer sweet, loving, ethereal boyfriend!”

#! you raised an eyebrow at the way he described himself, “y’sure ‘bout that?”

#! his mouth opens as if he was going to gasp but no sound came out, he just pretended to faint

#! “oh no, did you die?”

#! no answer

#! “about time, thought i was gonna have to endure it for a few more years.”

#! “hey!!” he bounced back up when he heard you say that ridiculously offensive comment

#! “fine, i’ll leave then. don’t come running back to me when ya miss yer oh so handsome future husband.”

#! you snorted before going back to organizing the closet, “hold this for me, please.”

#! he groaned from the back of his throat but went over to help you anyway

#! recently, the twins’ mom gave you guys some boxes of clothes she had put away for some time. not wanting to throw them away, she gave it to you guys and osamu to take whatever you could

#! while looking through the boxes, you dug up some baby clothes that belonged to atsumu

#! “oh my god.”

#! he swings his head over to look at you, “what? hey! that’s mine!”

#! “it’s so ugly.”

#! “i’m telling my mom you said that. she’s gonna hate you sooooo much.”

#! “‘tsum, she set you up.”

#! he faked a wail and then turned back around to ignore you

#! “y’think we can keep some?”

#! “what for?”

#! “i don’t know..what if we have kids later?”

#! “that sounds nice...but we might have twins. i don’t want that.”

#! “huh? you can’t control who and how many we get, ‘tsumu.”

#! “then, let’s not risk it!”

#! “so, you don’t want kids?”

#! “precisely, yah.”

#! you stared incredulously at him while he continued sorting through stuff like he didn’t just tell you he made up his mind on not wanting kids

#! you found out two days ago that you’re pregnant, not yet telling atsumu because you just couldn’t find the right time to sit him down and talk

#! you didn’t expect to find out now that he for sure didn’t want kids. you guys talked about it a few times throughout the years of being together, but he never gave a definite answer

#! it was usually just him teasing you, or he was running around the answer. you never pushed him to answer, you didn’t want to pressure him or anything of that sort

#! “good to know, i’ll keep that in mind.” you mumbled, distracting yourself with folding the clothes

#! atsumu gave you a hum to acknowledge your words. no one says anything after that

#! a few days passed and the topic wasn’t brought up again. you secretly stashed some of the baby clothes while cleaning, the baby was gonna come at some point whether atsumu wanted it or not

#! but what you didn’t know was that he kept a stash of the baby clothes as well. he cleared out a space in his sock drawers by stuffing everything to one side, placing a stack of clothes inside because deep down he knew that there was going to be a mini him one day

#! it was currently morning, you both having the day off so you slept in. your back was curved to mold against his well defined chest while you slept. atsumu was snoring but you learned to block it out over time (he claimed you snore as well, but was never successful on proving it)

#! your eyes shot open, feeling the familiar bile crawling up your throat threatening to come out without your permission

#! quickly throwing the arm that was wrapped around you off, you ran towards the connected bathroom

#! your disappearance making atsumu’s sleepy eyes blink open, “babe? it’s still early.” his rough morning voice whispering out because it wasn’t capable of being louder than that in the morning

#! he heard the gagging noises from the restroom, eyes shooting wide awake in concern. he trips over the comforter trying to get out of bed, hurriedly running to you

#! atsumu acted fast and was holding your hair back, warm palms rubbing circles on your back. he wasn’t sure what to say, choosing to stay silent until you were finished

#! you wiped your mouth with the back of your palm, gasping for air over the toilet seat, reaching out to hold the hand that was on your back, you whispered out an, “i’m pregnant.”

#! initially he didn’t hear you, but once he heard it in his head he gasped. “how long?”

#! “not sure, almost a month?” your voice rough from throwing up

#! atsumu was confused. eyes darting everywhere, not really sure where to exactly focus on. his mind was racing, trying to think of why he didn’t know anything for so long, “ya didn’t tell me?”

#! “how could i when you said you don’t want kids?”

#! “i’m...oh..sorry, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean for it to be taken too seriously. i only said that because of the thing with ‘samu so i thought ya could tell it was a joke.”

#! “no ‘tsumu, i couldn’t. i was already pregnant at that point and hearing you say that about having kids really affected me. i didn’t know how to tell you after you specifically said to not risk anything, how was i suppose to know it was meant to be a joke?” your voice still groggy and tears were building up in your eyes.

#! he lightly sighs then brings his hand up to cup your head, rubbing it to calm you down. “i’m so sorry, angel. i do want kids, specifically with ya. what i said was a bit dicky, but i was just being immature, i promise. i won’t joke about serious things like that again, i’m sorry.”

#! you sniffed and brought his hand up to kiss him on the palm, but he quickly yanked it away making you look up at him in shock. “ya just threw up.” he pointed to the toilet.

#! you laughed at that and quickly apologized, he carried you up so you both can stand up from the bathroom floor. atsumu gently washing your hands and around your mouth, then you swishing some water in your mouth to get rid of the throw up aftertaste

#! “wanna know a secret, babe?” he blurted out while helping you walk back to the bed

#! “what?”

#! “i kept some of the baby clothes.” a shy smile on his face as he winks at you from the side

KAGEYAMA

#! you’ve been feeling a bit sluggish lately, you weren’t sure why because it came out of nowhere

#! you decided to ignore it, but as time passes, you didn’t get any better and you even started to throw up

#! thinking back to the talk your mom gave you when you were 10, you went out to buy some pregnancy tests

#! the timeline made sense, the last time you both had sex was a few weeks ago

#! kageyama’s been caught up with practice, you were stressed, so naturally you both thought it was a good idea to let it out

#! but what you didn’t expect was having to buy pregnancy tests because there was a possibility you’re pregnant

#! granted there wasn’t any protection used and you stopped taking your pills a while ago because you guys just didn’t care anymore, so nevermind, you do see how you could be pregnant

#! but damn, one time. all it took was one time

#! shaking your head, you took your phone out to text kageyama

#! you’re not telling him over text, just letting him know you have something to tell him tonight so he can know to prepare for a talk

#! you: tobiii

#! you: i have something to tell you

#! you: tonight tho

#! you: after you come home

#! him: ok love

#! while waiting for him to come home, you lazed around and scrolled through social media for a bit. checking twitter, you were reading some tweets from kageyama’s fans, finding some funny, some adorable, and some just...weird

#! but one tweet you saw was from someone who had met kageyama at one of his previous games. the person was talking about their experience getting to meet him and they even wrote out a part of the conversation they had with kageyama

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: omfg i just met kageyama fucking tobiiosdfjdf

#! it was a thread so you clicked on it to continue reading

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: he’s so sighs dreamily

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: so fucking tall. i’m 5′3 and mans all the way up there 👆

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: OH OMH wait lemme type out one part of our convo omfg i think he has a partner?????? like an actual s/o guys not me

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: ok i asked him smtg along the lines of what he thought abt having so many fans who are children ykk bc i was thinking he knew i was implying that these kids look up to him and stuff

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: but this man.....is so...UNAWARE why is he like this but he said smtg like he doesnt understand how kids can be fans of him bc how can they understand professional volleyball like that and i was like ???mf didn’t u grow up playing vball

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: so i was like oh ok :D and then asked him abt his thoughts on his future kids following in his footsteps bc i was thinking his answer would be wholesome or some shit

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: he told me,,,,, i dont have kids and i dont want any... !!!! why does mr kagman not want kids w me :(( /j

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: ok so like all of this happened v quickly i was like in and out in 10 seconds lmao but WAIT after he said he doesnt want kids i saw him scrunching his face up

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: im not mind reader nor body language reader but idk he looked .. hrm sad?? FUCK IDK DONT TAKE M E SERIOUSLY IM DELUSIONAL

#! being an adult, you knew you shouldn’t be taking twitter threads of his teenage fans too seriously but you couldn’t help but reread the part where he said he didn’t want kids

#! did he actually say that or is this person rewording what he said? you now realized how you guys never really talked about having kids

#! sure, it was brought up once or twice but it was just because you were having baby fever. kageyama himself never directly told you he wanted kids or he was fine with having kids of his own

#! you sighed to yourself as you lock your phone, closing your eyes to take a nap until kageyama comes home

#! you felt yourself being shaken awake lightly, a familiar presence hovering over you on the couch made you open an eye

#! “tobio?”

#! “who else would it be?”

#! “i don’t know, a murderer?”

#! he scoffs at the slim chance of a someone breaking in to hurt you, but quickly turned his attention back to you when he remembered you wanted to talk

#! “so what’d you wanted to tell me?”

#! “oh, can you sit down?”

#! “o..kay?” he stiffly walked to sit beside you on the couch

#! “i’m uh,” think of something, “honestly, i forgot. yea, i forgot what i was gonna tell you. sorry.”

#! he raises one eyebrow to gaze at you curiously

#! “are you sure? it sounded important when you texted me.”

#! “mhm! yup, i forgot. sorry if i worried you, heh, are you hungry? there’s leftovers we can heat up.” you quickly tried to change the subject, getting up to walk to the kitchen

#! luckily your boyfriend didn’t question it further and got up to trail right behind you

#! you figured giving yourself some time before telling him after what you read was a good idea

#! are you aware that you were overthinking some tweet by a stranger on the app that is twitter? yes, you were. but you’re also human and overthinking is in human’s nature

#! it’s been three weeks and you still haven’t told kageyama the news. a part of you was ready to tell him, just let him know and you guys talk it out, what’s the worst that could happen

#! but the other part of you was scared. scared he actually didn’t want kids. scared he was going to leave you because going through with the pregnancy would drag him down. scared he would get mad at you for not being more careful when he was equally at fault

#! you know how kageyama gets when his emotions get complicated, he can’t deal with it so his one outlet is anger

#! he has no filter and says whatever comes to mind, all logical thinking leaving his brain

#! and that part of you is the stronger one

#! obviously you were going to tell him at some point, it’s not like you can literally hide the growing baby inside you

#! just not yet, not until you’re ready

#! you’re currently a little over a month, bump not really showing, but it’s there and it’s growing

#! kageyama can be a bit dim when it comes to.. most things beside volleyball, and usually you tease him about it but for once you thank whatever god is out there that he hasn’t noticed any big changes on your body yet

#! that was until you were showering, and he made the decision to enter the shower with you without your knowledge

#! humming to yourself while scrubbing your arms, you scooted back away from the water so it wouldn’t wash off the body wash you were trying to use

#! the action causing you to lightly hit kageyama’s chest making you jump from where you were standing

#! “tobio!” you screamed, turning around to throw the foamed body wash at him

#! he chuckles at your surprised expression and didn’t mind the soap you threw onto him, which was now sticking to his defined chest

#! “why were you just standing there, creep?”

#! he was still giggling when he answered you, “did i scare you this time?”

#! “what do you think?” you lightheartedly roll your eyes before going back to scrubbing your body

#! he picked the loofah out of your hand to continue for you

#! you both enjoyed the relaxing sound of running water and quiet echoed hums as he takes his time washing you when he suddenly stopped

#! opening your eyes, you looked up at him, “what’s wrong?”

#! he was just staring at you, blinking very slowly

#! “why do you look- your stomach feels- you look very-,” he sighs, “you look pregnant.”

#! now it was your turn to blink at him

#! you totally forgot that you were naked at the moment and he could easily see every inch of your body

#! blinking once more, you took a deep breath before telling him, “that’s ‘cuz i am.”

#! “y-you are?!” he jumped from his spot

#! “yea.. do you have a problem with that?”

#! “i...why didn’t you tell me?”

#! “do you have a problem with that?” you repeated

#! “n-no..so why didn’t you tell me?”

#! “you’re not mad?”

#! “why would i...?” his voice slightly turning high pitched as he dragged the i out

#! “i thought you didn’t want kids.”

#! “who told you that? when did i say that?”

#! “twitter.” you murmured under your breath

#! “what?”

#! “twitter..” you said a bit louder, still murmuring and choosing to turn away from him

#! “twitter?! why didn’t you just tell me, your real life boyfriend?”

#! “because!.... i was scared.”

#! “s-scared? baby, why?”

#! “i was scared you were going to leave. i don’t want you to leave. that night i told you i had something to tell you, that was when i found out. i backed out when you came home and i’m sorry. i should’ve just told you, i’m sorry, tobio-,” you were crying at this point, both of you standing under the water

#! “shh, shh, it’s okay. i’m sorry for not noticing earlier. you’re alright, babe. it’s okay. it’s okay to not feel ready, you don’t have to feel pressured to tell me anything, alright? whenever you’re ready, you tell me,” you meekly nodded as he pulls you into a hug, “whenever you’re ready..”

#! you both stood hugging each other’s bare body for a few minutes under the warm water

#! “that was probably the smartest thing you’ve ever said, tobi.” your voice sounding congested from the crying

#! “hey. mean.”

[jrob64]

Lunch is on Me  (A CS AU Story)

This story is inspired by a post that’s been circulating on social media and I thought it was perfect for our beloved Captain Swan. Many, many thanks to @motherkatereloyshipper​​ who created Liam’s tombstone picture for the pic set, @apiratewhopines​​ who constantly fluffs my aura and who gave me useful feedback for the story, the ladies on the CSMM Discord for their help on the pic set, and (you know what’s coming next!) my dedicated and loyal beta @hookedmom​​​, who has been with me through thick and thin and who makes every story I throw at her 100% better! 

Story Summary: Emma Swan makes a mistake when ordering a DoorDash delivery and tells the driver to keep the food for himself. The response she gets moves her to tears and has her hoping to meet the man in person someday. 

Rating: T

Words: 3544

Chapter 1/1

Also found on Ao3 & ffn

*********

“Dammit!” Emma Swan cursed, reading the message on her phone. 

This is Killian, your DoorDash driver. I’m here to deliver your food. 

In her haste to get lunch delivered while she had a break between regional business meetings, she forgot to change the address for delivery to her hotel in New York City, instead of her apartment in Boston. Now, some poor guy was standing at her door with her food order, and she was going to have to resort to stale vending machine snacks. 

I’m sorry, I forgot to change the delivery address. Enjoy the food. Lunch is on me. 

She quickly checked her hair and makeup in the mirror, gathered up her room key and purse, and was on her way to the door when her phone dinged with another notification. 

Umm…okay. Thanks very much. 

Sighing, she went out into the hallway and turned left, in search of the nearest vending machine. 

*********

Emma’s meetings in the hotel conference room stretched on into late afternoon, while she grew increasingly bored and hungry. How many times could they reiterate the plummeting sales numbers and explore possible interventions to halt the decline and improve the bottom line? She knew she should be more concerned, but at the moment, her growling stomach was demanding more attention than the lack of sales. 

When the final speaker of the day began wrapping up his presentation, Emma chanced a look at her phone to check the time. Her screen displayed another message from DoorDash and as she read it, tears instantly filled her eyes. 

Thanks again for your generosity. Your home is very near the cemetery where my brother is laid to rest, and since today is his birthday, I had lunch with him there. That means more to me than I can say and I truly appreciate your kindness. 

Emma checked the time stamp and saw that the message came through over two hours ago. She wondered if she should reply to it or not, and finally decided that such a heart-wrenching admission deserved to be answered. 

Please accept my sincere sympathy for the loss of your brother. I’m glad you had an opportunity to spend some time with him, and that the food helped make that happen. I hope it was a good day. 

Noticing that the presenter was finally finished, she closed her laptop, stuffed it into the case, collected all of her belongings, and hurried out of the room, intent on placing an extra large DoorDash order to be delivered to her hotel room this time. 

*********

The week after Killian had lunch at the cemetery with Liam, he turned on his DoorDash app and scrolled through the requests. One name and address in particular caught his eye, and he sat up straighter on the couch, tapping on it quickly to claim the request. He was happy he would get a chance to thank the woman who treated him to lunch in person. 

*********

On the Wednesday after Emma returned home from attending the regional meetings, she placed a DoorDash order and was pleasantly surprised to see that the driver’s name was Killian. Of course, it didn’t necessarily mean it was the same delivery person as the one to whom she’d donated her lunch, but how many Killians could there possibly be in Boston? It wasn’t exactly a common name. 

Her question was answered with the next communication she received from him. This is Killian, your DoorDash driver. I’ll be making a delivery to you in about fifteen minutes. Will you be home this time? 

She laughed and typed out a response. Yes, this time I AM home, so I’m afraid you’ll have to buy your own dinner tonight!

She hoped the man didn’t mind her playful teasing. He seemed to be a good sport and she was curious to put a face to his name. She assumed he was an older man, since he had a brother who was deceased. Maybe he was earning some extra cash to supplement his retirement income, or was helping one of his children pay for college expenses by DoorDashing in the evenings, after working another job during the day. 

The knock at the door took her by surprise. She had gotten busy sorting through her winter clothing before storing it away for the summer and lost track of time. She hurried through the apartment, stopping to grab her phone off the arm of the couch, checking to see if she had a new message from the driver. Seeing that he had sent one a minute ago saying he had arrived at her apartment building, she threw the door open without checking through the peephole. 

Her words of greeting died in her throat when she came face-to-face with one of the most gorgeous men she had ever seen. Piercing blue eyes met hers and a slow grin spread across his handsome face, revealing a dimple just above the carefully groomed scruff on his cheek. His dark hair flopped down over his full eyebrows and her fingers itched to brush the strands behind his slightly pointed ears. 

“Um, Emma Swan, I presume?” he asked, and of course he had a British accent, because why shouldn’t one man possess every attractive trait all wrapped up into one very appealing body? 

“Y-yeah, that’s me,” she stammered, a bit shocked that her voice even functioned. 

He held the conspicuous red bag aloft. “I have a delivery for you.” When her mouth opened and closed a couple of times, but she failed to respond, his forehead wrinkled in concern. “Is there a problem, Love?” 

Heat rushed into her cheeks and she dropped her eyes, clearing her throat in an attempt to ground herself. “Uh, well, honestly, you’re not what I expected. I pictured you being…” 

When she didn’t finish the sentence right away, he ventured a guess. “Taller? Older? Less British?” 

She gave her head a slight shake, trying to gather her scattered wits. “All of them, I guess? Except for being taller” 

He chuckled. “Sorry to disappoint you.” 

“Oh, you’re not a disappointment at all,” she blurted, and felt her face flame again. “I just mean, I did picture you being older, because you said your brother is d-…” Her voice trailed off and she decided she would have to save the dinner he was delivering for another day, since her foot was firmly planted in her mouth now. 

“That’s a reasonable assumption,” he assured her. “My brother Liam was only thirty-two when he passed away. I wish I could say he lived to a ripe, old age, but he wasn’t afforded that luxury.” 

“I’m so sorry,” Emma said, accepting the appeasement he gave her by glossing over her faux pas. 

“Thank you. It’s been three years now, but I still miss him.” 

“Of course you do. I’m sure you always will.” 

He nodded before saying, “I wanted to thank you again for allowing me to enjoy the food you mistakenly ordered.”

“I didn’t order it by mistake, I just had it sent to the wrong place. I didn’t think you wanted to drive all the way to New York City to deliver it, so I figured you might as well eat it instead of letting it go to waste.” 

Silence fell for several moments until he seemed to remember the reason why he was standing at her door. “Oh, sorry. Here’s your meal, Emma,” he said, pulling the food out of the red insulated bag. 

“Thank you, Killian.” Not wanting him to leave quite yet, she fished around for something else to say. “Do you, uh…do you do a lot of DoorDash deliveries?”

“I usually do them two or three evenings a week and sometimes on the weekends. I just do it to earn a little extra cash, in addition to what I make at my regular job.” 

“Wow, good for you. When I get home after work, all I want to do is collapse on my couch and watch TV for the rest of the evening.” She gestured toward the sack in her hand. “Obviously, I don’t even cook half the time.” 

He laughed. “Well, your lack of cooking has worked out well for me.” 

“Yeah, I guess it has.” She realized he probably needed to be on his way, so she said, “It was a pleasure meeting you, Killian. Maybe I’ll see you again soon, since DoorDash is my literal lifeline these days.” 

“I shall keep an eye out for your address to come across the app.” 

“Sounds good. I’ll look forward to it.” 

“Me, too. Well, I should let you eat your dinner before it gets cold. Have a pleasant evening.” 

She returned his sentiments then watched him walk down the hallway of her apartment building, trying and failing to feel guilty about admiring his very attractive backside. 

*********

Killian returned to his car and settled into the driver’s seat, blowing out a heavy breath. He could tell from the look on Emma Swan’s face he wasn’t what she expected, and she definitely wasn’t what he expected, either. 

In all honesty, he rarely if ever tried to imagine the faces of his DoorDash customers because it seemed like a waste of time. He always met them within half-an-hour of first seeing their names anyway. 

In the case of Emma Swan, though, he found himself thinking about the kind-hearted person and wondering what she was like. He imagined many different versions of her, and all were lovely. 

However, nothing could have prepared him for the sight that greeted him when her apartment door opened. Emma Swan was absolutely beautiful. Her face was framed by blonde hair laying in soft curls over her shoulders, and she had a trim, shapely figure in a light blue blouse and black pencil skirt. From their brief conversation, he could tell her beauty was more than just skin deep, too. 

As he started his car and pulled away from the curb, he almost subconsciously turned it toward the cemetery. Soon he found himself standing in front of Liam’s final resting place, looking down at his tombstone. 

“I met someone tonight, brother. I’m not saying she’s the one because we only spoke briefly, but I can say I’m attracted to her. She’s the lass who told me to keep the meal I brought here to share with you last week. Her name is Emma Swan, and she’s as lovely as her name suggests. I’m sure if you could, you would piss me off by teasing me about her mercilessly, but I still wish you were here to do it. If I get the opportunity to see her again, I’ll be back to let you know how it goes. Miss you, bro.” 

He patted the top of the grave marker and turned to walk back down the hill to his car. 

*********

Killian’s deliveries of Emma’s DoorDash orders became a regular thing over the next month. She even went so far as to cancel an order once when the driver’s name came up and it wasn’t his. It was ridiculous, she told herself, the way she had come to look forward to her heart rate speeding up every time she heard his telltale knock on her door. It increased to an almost dangerous level when she swung the door open to reveal his dimpled grin and heard him say, “Swan” in an awestruck tone. 

She secretly hoped he would ask her out on a date, but when a couple more weeks passed without any offer from him, she decided it was time to take action herself. 

*********

Killian pulled up to the now familiar brownstone apartment building and cut the engine, then sucked in a deep breath and shakily released it, long and slow. This was it. He was finally going to take the plunge and ask Emma out. 

He had stopped by the cemetery briefly before heading to her apartment, wanting to tell Liam about his intentions. He longed to hear his brother’s advice on dating, since he had more experience than Killian. Being eight years Liam’s junior, he was only twenty-four when his brother was killed in a car accident, and prior to that, was far too focused on moving to the states with Liam and earning his degree at Boston University to attend to his social life. Liam often told him he needed to be more outgoing and approachable if he ever wanted to attract women, but Killian couldn’t help how ill at ease he felt when he was around them.

Since Liam’s death, he’d been on exactly three dates, with three different women. None of them appealed to him enough to warrant a second date, and he was beginning to think his expectations were set too high. He was hopeful Emma Swan would be the one to prove he was wrong about that. 

Grabbing the bag off the passenger seat, he took one more steadying breath and threw open the car door. 

*********

Tap, tap, ta-tap.

Emma swallowed hard as the familiar knock sounded. She smoothed down the material of her carefully chosen red blouse and gave herself a quick pep talk before finally opening the door to take in the handsome man on the other side. 

“Swan,” he breathed. 

“Hi, Killian,” she returned, shocked to hear how calm her voice sounded. 

“It’s a KFC kind of night, I see,” he smirked, pulling out the sack with the smiling colonel on it. 

“Yeah well, you know, you can’t go wrong with it. Everything they make tastes like chicken.” She strongly willed her hand not to slap herself in the forehead. 

He emitted a low chuckle. “Aye, you’re right about that.” 

They stood in awkward silence, Killian looking down at his shuffling feet, while Emma rolled and unrolled the top of the bag in her hands. 

“Will you go out with me?” 

Both sets of eyes opened wide as they realized they had just spoken the exact same words simultaneously. 

A few tense beats passed. 

“Yes,” their answers echoed.

“Truly?” Killian asked, at the same moment Emma said, “Really?” 

Their nervous laughter rang out and Killian said, “We’re so in sync.” 

“Yeah, we’re so connected,” Emma agreed, then sobered a bit. “You did just say you would go out with me, didn’t you?” 

“Absolutely,” he replied, “and, uh, you…you said the same, yeah?” 

Emma flashed her brilliant smile. “I would love to go out with you, Killian Jones.” 

His smile matched hers. “This time, dinner is on me.” 

*********

Their first date was so successful, they set their second one for the very next afternoon. On their fifth date, Killian took Emma to the cemetery with him to visit Liam. 

As they sat on the bench in front of his tombstone, Killian spoke quietly. “Hello again, brother. I brought someone to meet you. This is Emma Swan, the lass I mentioned to you previously. We’ve gone on a few dates now and she’s become very special to me. You would like her, even though you’d probably act like the protective older brother and try to intimidate her.”

Emma smiled sweetly at him, before adding, “Hi, Liam. Killian has told me a lot about you and I wish I could have gotten the opportunity to meet you. He said you practically raised him, and you should know you did an excellent job. You would be proud of the gentleman he is…kind, considerate and caring, and a very hard worker.” She reached over to tangle her fingers with his, meeting his watery eyes. “He’s the best man I know.” 

*********

Emma and Killian visited the cemetery often to share momentous occasions with Liam. A month after their first visit, with their arms wrapped around each other, they told him how they recently declared their love for one another. Shivering in their parkas in the middle of winter, they explained how they were going on a vacation to a tropical climate the following week, and when the new green leaves were unfurling in the spring, they revealed their plan to move in together. 

One afternoon, when the days were beginning to turn crisp and cool, Killian stopped to visit his brother on his way home from work. He sat quietly for several minutes before finally speaking in a soft, choked voice. “I have something to show you, Liam.” Reaching into his shirt pocket, he took out a black leather jeweler’s box and lifted the lid to reveal a sparkling diamond engagement ring. “I’m going to ask Emma to marry me. I haven’t decided how I’m going to do it exactly, but I want it to be special. I really wish you were here to give me some advice, and if she says yes, to be my best man.”

He gazed at the ring for several more moments, then snapped the lid closed and returned it to his pocket. “I guess I’m on my own for this one, yeah? God, I miss you, Liam. I would give anything to talk with you again and to know that you approve of how I’m living my life.” 

Just then, a breeze blew through the trees, sending a few leaves skittering around Killian. One brushed past his cheek and settled on his knee. He expected it to blow away as the air continued to swirl, but it stayed put until he gently plucked it off his leg, twirling the stem between his fingers. It was then he noticed its shape - a perfect heart. 

“Thank you, brother,” he whispered. 

*********

Tap, tap, ta-tap. 

Emma’s eyebrows raised at the sound she hadn’t heard on the apartment door for many months, ever since she gave Killian his own key. Maybe he had forgotten it? 

She swung the door open to see her boyfriend standing on the other side, holding a familiar red bag. “What are you doing, Babe? You don’t DoorDash anymore.” 

“I felt like bringing my beautiful girlfriend one of her favorite meals,” he explained with a smile. 

“Ah, well, in that case, come right in, handsome DoorDash delivery man,” she smirked, sweeping her arm widely to admit him into their shared apartment. 

He went straight to the kitchen and set the bag on the table, reaching in to remove the brown paper sack. As he began taking out the food, he felt Emma wrap her arms around his waist and rest her cheek against his back. “Is this why you were late - because you stopped to pick up food? I missed you.” 

“Aye, sorry, Love. I wanted to surprise you.” 

“That’s sweet. Now, could I please have my onion rings?” 

“Alas, I didn’t get you onion rings.” 

“What? You know they’re my favorite!” 

He spun around to face her with the open jeweler’s box in his hand. “I brought you another kind of ring instead.” 

Her jaw dropped as her eyes widened and filled with tears. He knelt in front of her on one knee, looking up with a loving, hope-filled expression. “Emma, you’re my best friend, my confidant, my lover and my world. Will you add one more title to that list and be my wife?” 

“Oh, Killian!” she gasped, dropping down to her knees and framing his face with her hands. “I can think of no greater honor than being called your wife. I love you!” 

“I love you, too,” he declared, and kissed her tenderly, before making their engagement official by sliding the ring onto her finger. 

*********

That night, as they laid in bed tangled together after celebrating, Killian told Emma about his visit to the cemetery. He found his wallet on the floor where he had carelessly tossed it and removed the leaf he’d tucked in there. Tears welled up in her eyes again as she stroked feather-light fingers across it. “He sent you a sign, didn’t he?” she murmured. 

“I’m convinced he did. I think it was his way of granting us his blessing.” 

“We’ll have to go share the news with him tomorrow.” 

Killian pulled her closer, loving her all the more for understanding how important it was for Liam to be such a big part of their lives. 

*********

Ten months later, in the midst of the worst heatwave Boston had experienced in over a decade, with Killian carrying his tuxedo jacket over his shoulder on a crooked finger, while Emma lifted the skirts of her gown, they navigated the narrow pathway up the hill to Liam’s gravesite to include him in their wedding day. 

“You have a sister-in-law now,” Killian shared. “Somehow I know you were with us today, brother. I hope you were able to see how beautiful Emma is, and how happy we are.” 

As Emma pulled one of the roses from her bridal bouquet and placed it on top of the tombstone, Killian reached into his shirt pocket to touch the heart-shaped leaf nestled inside.

*********

Liam’s spiritual presence was always with the couple and, in the ensuing years, with his niece and nephew, the latter of whom was bestowed the honor of being named after his uncle. The children grew up hearing stories about their Uncle Liam from their father, while their mother often retold the tale of how their parents met - an order sent to the wrong address, which turned out to be the most fortunate mistake of their lives. 

*********

Thank you so much for taking the time to read, like, reblog and leave comments. They make my heart happy!

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[theinvisiblecapricorn]

Surprise, surprise.

Author's note: This is my first ever written one shot. The inspiration popped into my head during my shower. Please let me know what you think. Enjoy

Fluffy one shot.

Part 1.

// Introduction //

A little info about Y/N and Vinnie.

So, you guys met during the first Covid lockdown.

You weren’t really seeing anyone of your friends during this time because you didn’t feel like taking any risks. So the only way for you to interact with anyone, was via social media. Before lockdown you also kind of give up on the idea of finding a lover because the last time you gave it a shot it didn’t work out.

You remember one of your best friends told you ‘’ Once you start focusing on yourself, it’ll come to you. ‘’ Well, what better way to focus on yourself other than during quarantine?

That’s when Vinnie came into the picture.

After many failed attempts of having a normal conversation with serval people, the last thing Vinnie expected was to meet someone like you. A lot of the time people tried to take advantage of the fact that he was famous. They would post his personal info on social media and share their conversations for clout. Just like you, Vinnie was kind of over the idea of meeting someone who would like him for his personality instead of his name.

You guys instantly clicked. It felt like talking to someone you’ve known your entire life. There wasn’t a thing you couldn’t share with another. But because the two of you lived in different time zones you couldn’t talk as much as you’d like, but you made it manageable. There was only one problem; traveling was not an option due to Covid, so the two of you had never seen each other in real life.

Until now…

// End of introduction //

Alex (Warren) set up his camera to make a video.

He clicked on record and looked into the camera.

‘’ So as you guys know, Vinnie and Y/N met online in the beginning of Covid, but they’ve never officially seen each other in real life. Now that traveling is allowed again and Vinnie hasn’t been feeling himself lately, I thought it was a good idea to surprise him. I bought y/n a plan ticket so she can come over and hopefully cheer Vinnie up. And I will document the entire journey. ‘’

// Vinnie’s POV //

It’s noon. I lay on my bed, scrolling on my phone through TikTok. I haven’t heard from Y/N all day. Normally she would call me before going to bed herself, but she never did. I tried texting her but no reply.

Y/NNNN????

Yo bro, you there???

I miss your voiceeee

Please don’t be asleep already 

Pick up!!!!!! Or else I’m coming for you.

God, I wish I could just fly to wherever she was at and kiss her entire face. Because, yes, I am indeed in love with her, and she feels the same way about me. I just never thought I could recognize so much of myself in someone else. She’s the most kind, beautiful and loving person I know, and I can’t wait to hold her in my arms one day and never let go.

I’m starting to daydream about a life with y/n without the long distance, because it truly sucks. Then I hear a knock on the door and before I know it Alex comes rushing in with his camera in his hand.

( Vinnie & Alex )

‘’ Vinnie, say hello to everyone! ‘’

‘’ Hello everyone. Alex what do you want? ‘’

‘’ Why are you assuming I want something from you? ‘’

‘’ Because you only enter my room if you either have one of your crazy ideas to share or if you want me to get involved in something I probably shouldn’t get involved into. ‘’

‘’ Pfft, not true. My ideas aren’t crazy, they’re brilliant in their own way. ‘’

Alex grins at me. Suspiciously.

‘’ Anyways that’s not the point Vincent, I actually came in to see if you would join me to get some groceries because the only thing left are rise waffles and I’m starving. ‘’

Alex is blinking his eyes with the same grin he has had on from the moment he came into my room.

He’s not going to leave until I agree on coming. So before I know it, we’re on our way to the grocery store.

// Y/N’s POV //

I received a text from Alex a few weeks ago. He told me about his idea to surprise Vinnie. I couldn’t be more excited. Ever since Vinnie and I started talking I have pushed many of my personal boundaries. In a positive way. Vinnie has helped me regain trust in others and has showed me that love is real. I have lost my faith in love due to my previous experiences. That’s why the connection that I have with Vinnie is so important to me.

I have arrived at the airport as I turn on my phone. My phone starts to receive all the missed text messages and calls from Vinnie. I smile as I read through them.

‘’ Oh Vin, if only you knew ‘’ I think to myself.

I hear someone yelling my name behind me. As I turn around, I see Nailea running towards me.

Nailea is a close friend of Vinnie so of course she was the first to know about Vinnie’s contact with me. She’s been super kind to me, and I consider her as the sister I never had.

Nailea hugs me once she has approached me.

( Y/N & Nailea )

‘’ OH MY GOD. Girl, I am so happy that you’re finally hereeeee!!! ’’

I laugh as I see people around looking at us.

‘’ I am also very happy to be here. To finally meet everyone. For real. ‘’

‘’ Yea, now tell me, does my nose look bigger on the screen than in real life? ‘’

‘’ Hahaha, no Nai. You look fantastic on the screen and even better in real life. ‘’

Nailea and I take my stuff and walk out of the airport.

Once settled in the car, I receive a text from Alex:

We’re almost at the store. He hasn’t got a clue. See you there.

This is all a part of Alex his big plan. First, I will act like a regular costumer shopping at the same store as Vinnie and Alex. Then once they get back, Alex will distract Vinnie just a little longer, so he won’t notice me walking past the car right away. Brilliant.

// Vinnie’s POV //

Alex and I walk into the store.

‘’ Alright, what do we need? ‘’

‘’ Anything but rise waffles. ‘’

I shake my head, laughing, as I walk to the lemonade aisle.

Alex is taking out his camera and starts filming me from a far.

I start singing Paparazzi by Lady Gaga as I act like I'm hiding from him.

‘’ Oh, you should also take a few cans of coke. ‘’ Alex suggests.

As I walk towards the aisle with cans of lemonade, I notice a girl standing in front of it. Her hair instantly reminds me of Y/N. The exact same length, color and texture. Call me a simp, but I just pay a lot of attention to the girl I love. I slowly approach the girl before Alex attacks be by throwing a teddy bear on my head.

‘’ Hey, watch it! ‘’ I fix my hair.

‘’ Sorry man, I just know how much you like teddy bears. ‘’ Alex’s laughing out loud as he zooms in to my face.

I laugh, as I start to think back to the day Alex thought it would be funny to buy a giant teddy bear and have Patrick in it to scare me.

Just then, I notice the girl was gone. I didn’t see her anywhere else again.

After collecting all the stuff, we needed, we went home.

Once we arrived home, Alex stopped me before I opened my car door.

‘’ Let’s just sit here for a bit and talk about some stuff. ‘’ I stare at Alex with a confused look on my face.

‘’ Yea, because the viewers want to know, how are things going between you and Y/N? ‘’

I scratch the back of my neck and start feeling the heat take over my cheeks.

‘’ I mean, it’s hard sometimes. She’s one of the most important people in my life, yet I haven’t even met her in person. But I just know that once I do, that everything will naturally fall into it’s place. ‘’

Alex pouts as he listens to all the sweet things I have to say.

‘’ You really like her, don’t you? ‘’

‘’ I mean, yea I do. I really do. ‘’

‘’ Alright, so imagine her standing in front of you right now, what would you do? ‘’

I look at my hands as I start to imagine a situation like that.

‘’ Uh… If she was standing in front of me right now.. I would.. ‘’ My eyes scan a figure walking past the car and I couldn’t believe my eyes.

// Y/N’s POV //

Shit, I almost got caught. The plan was to go into the store, just to admire Vinnie from a far. I didn’t plan to stand in the exact aisle, where he needed to get something from. Luckily, Alex had a plan to distract Vinnie while I fled to the exit. Phew, that was close.

Alex texted me, saying they were on their way home. That’s when it hit me, I am going to be able to see, touch and kiss Vinnie for the first time ever. Nailea noticed my anxiety kicking in and she told me everything would be just fine.

It didn’t take long before Alex’s car pulled up on the driveway. Alex and Vinnie stayed in the car for a bit. My phone started buzzing as I read the notification: ‘’ Now!’’ That was my cue.

As nervous as one can be, I walked past the car with the person who’s the other half of my heart in it. I didn’t dare to look in his direction.

// Vinnie’s POV //

I couldn’t believe my eyes. This isn’t real right? Was I dreaming? I mean, I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night because I was worried sick due to Y/N not responding to me anymore.

I rub my eyes as I watch in the direction of the person again and there’s no way it couldn’t be her.

Then she turns her face into my direction and my heart starts pounding. There she is, the love of my life, the only person who can make my day just by popping up in my notifications, Y/N.

As I try to open my door, I hear Alex locking it.

‘’ Let me out! ‘’ I look at Alex as I try to unlock the door, but unable because he keeps his hand infront of the lock.

‘’ You haven’t answered my question yet. ‘’ Alex smirks at me, but I do not find it funny at all.

‘’ Please, let me out and I’ll show you what I would do if she were to stand in front of me ‘’

And with, I heard the door unlock. I jumped out of the car and ran as fast as I could to the person who I longed for the most.

Click here for part two;

[thefanficmonster]

Let Them Talk

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female) ft. Sykkuno

Warnings: Swearing, Jealousy

Genre: Fluff, a bit of Angst

Summary: We can all agree Among Us is a fun game on its own but what makes it ten times better is playing it with the right company. Y/N could agree 100% Being a streamer herself, she loves playing with the streamer gang that includes her boyfriend and best friend. But, what happens when her boyfriend starts doubting her feelings for him due to her close relationship with her best friend.

Requested by @cheetoscat . Thank you so much for your request! Sorry it took so long to write, I hope the final product is worth the wait. Enjoy! Love, Vy ❤

Y/AU/N - Your Among Us Name

I settle in my gaming chair, adjusting my webcam one last time before joining the Among Us lobby with my friends. 

“Hi everyone!“ I say into the mic, a smile plastering itself on my face. Discord is a magical thing, man. It’s so easy to forget that the people you are talking to aren’t around you or within arm’s reach. You could be separated by miles and miles of land or - in our case - oceans as well. Distance becomes negligible when you hear your friends’ voices, their laughter; when you have a good time together despite being each behind a screen, often times alone.

Well, I’m one of those lucky ones that isn’t alone. No one knows that, though. Everyone thinks I’m a single, self-employed girl that’s straight out of college. And they are 90% right. Only thing is - I’m not single. That would be a shocker in and of itself, but revealing who’s changed my relationship status would be a bomb with a whole new intensity.

Speaking of my significant other who shall remain unnamed - just kidding, it’s Corpse - his form materializes in the doorway of my recording room. I give him a hand signal the camera isn’t able to capture, alerting him of the fact that my mic is on. He replies by blowing me a kiss and walking off down the hall to his recording room where he’ll be stationed for the next three or so hours.

I owe this relationship to my best friend Sykkuno. I’m a pretty new and not very well known on the platform, however, thanks to him I haven’t only obtained a boyfriend, but a following of a little over million subscribers as well. 

It all started with an invitation to fill a spot in the Among Us lobby him and his friends had created. It took him quite a bit to convince me to join, but I eventually caved and agreed. Suddenly, there I was. In a Discord call, in an Among Us lobby with some of the most well-known names on this platform. I’m talking YouTube legends. I was that puppy playing with the big dogs. The newbie tagging along with the big leagues. Or at least that’s how I felt until we all started vibing - talking and teasing each other as though we’ve known each other for years and not minutes.

When I joined the call, Corpse wasn’t present. After everyone else introduced themselves, Sykkuno informed me that we were waiting for Corpse to return. The name sounded really cool to me and I was genuinely very excited to meet this Corpse guy.

And then, out of the blue - no prep, no warning...

“Did you get someone to fill the spot? Oh- Hello, Y/AU/N.“ 

…he started talking and he had me star-struck. Apparently, he also had me a blabbering mess cause I remember blurting out: “Whoa, who’s this guy speaking in bold and underlined at the same time?”

The entire lobby, including Corpse, laughed. Sean, or Jack like they called him most often, answered my question, “That is the voice of God, Y/N. Its source is named Corpse, though.”

Heat spread from the bottom of my neck to the tips of my ears. I was mortified by my own stupidity. I was well aware they couldn’t see me and I was incredibly thankful for that, but I simply could not get myself to open my eyes. “I’m so sorry.” I said through nervous laughter.

“No, no, I like that description. Bold and underlined at the same time, huh?“ His voice sounded even more pleasant when it had that teasing, mischievous note to it. That thought popping up in my head only made things worse for my self-esteem and only made me more embarrassed, causing me to hide my face in my hands. “You sure it’s not in Italics as well?“ 

His question got a weak laugh out of me. “Nope, definitely not. Nothing Italic about it.“

Yes, I don’t even know how some terrible jokes about MS Word fonts got me as far as a romantic relationship, but they did! We’ve been living together for quite some time now, dating for even longer - hiding it just as long. It’s not that we have been actively trying to hide it or something, we just wanted to see how long it would take someone to become sus of us. When we realized no one would notice, we decided that if any rumors about us started, or even fans shipping us, we’d come clean. That hasn’t happened either, so we haven’t had the proper chance to address our relationship and neither of us minds.

At this point, I’m honestly afraid of revealing it to the gaming squad. Sykkuno especially. He’s my best friend, after all. I can see him being hurt by the fact that I kept a secret so big even from him. The last thing I wanna do is hurt my best friend but it’s already too late for that, it’s inevitable.

“Y/N have you looked at Twitter today?“ Rae, another streamer I’ve become close with over the months, says urgently.

Overlooking the tension in her words, I answer: “Nope, haven’t had the time. Why? What’s up?“

Before Rae can say anything else, Sykkuno joins the conversation, his voice somehow even more urgent than Rae’s. “It’s nothing, Y/N. If you see it, just don’t let it bother you, ok?”

Hearing such a tone from Rae isn’t unusual, but hearing it from Sykkuno is completely different and a lot more worrisome. “Well if it has the potential of bothering me it can’t be nothing. What’s going on?”

Just then, my phone dings with two notifications. I check to see they are messages from Rae.

“I sent you screenshots. Sorry, Sykkuno. She has to know in order to address it and defuse it as well. I know better than anyone how fast these rumors can spread, especially if no one reacts to them.“ She says, her tone barely apologetic at all.

I open the screenshots she has sent me and I find myself frozen in shock. Some old pictures of Sykkuno and I have been posted on Twitter by some random user. These pictures have started an entire thread of suspicions surrounding our relationship.

The pictures in question are from a New Year’s Eve party a mutual friend of ours held two years ago. Sure, in the pictures we are a lot closer than what would be considered a platonic proximity. And yes one of the pictures is of me kissing his cheek. Yes we were both a bit tipsy. I acknowledge all those things and yet none of them are concrete reasons for these rumors to have started piling. 

“This is silly.“ I finally say after maybe five minutes of silence on my end. ”This is absolutely ridiculous! And why are people so serious about it as well? Actual, important matters get discussed more nonchalantly than the potential relationship between two online personalities! What is this world we live in?“ I know I shouldn’t let these rumors get to me like this, especially not on camera. Still, I can’t help it. I feel it’s so unfair to Corpse. He has to put up with this as well and it’s by no means easy for him. I’ve been shipped with people from our group in the past and he always took those rumors to heart despite acting like he didn’t care. Neither of us should get worked up, but him getting upset about them creates a domino effect with my emotions - causing me to be hit just as hard as him, in some cases harder.

Rumors of the past aside, this one is the worst by far. Mostly cause even Corpse himself suspected something between Sykkuno and I at the very beginning, when we were still acquaintances, barely crossing into the realm of friends.

I pull up Twitter to look for the whole thread, barely sparing my stream chat a glance in the process. It seems pretty split - those who agree with me and those who think Sykkuno and I make ‘such an adorable couple’. The thread is ridiculously long, and if we take into account that it was only started approximately five hours ago, you can either view it as impressive, amusing or sad. Why sad? Because someone has dedicated so much time and effort into fueling the fire of a weakly supported theory.

I love Sykkuno with all my heart. Everyone knows that - fandom, streamer squad, Corpse and Sykkuno included. I love too much and too platonically to ever even dream of having a romantic connection with him. I thought that was more than obvious, but people are either blind here, or just grasping at straws. One thing’s for certain - they’re stepping on a nerve.

“Hey where’s Corpse? Did he disconnect?” Felix asks, gaining my full attention. My eyes dart to the monitor, searching through the little avatars in a desperate search for the one of my boyfriend. It’s nowhere to be found.

“He just messaged me saying his connection is unstable but he might join us later.“ Rae says, “You guys can invite someone to fill...“

“Bathroom break.“ I interrupt, not waiting for a response before shutting my mic off, putting the ‘BRB‘ graphic on my stream and yanking the headset off. I basically run down the hall to Corpse’s recording room, my heart pounding like a bass drum.

“Corpse?!“ I call out to him, one hand already on the doorknob. When five seconds pass by without a response, I barge in. 

Inside, I find his usual spot on the gaming chair empty and his slumped figure seated on his bed.

“Corpse?“ I try again, watching for even the tiniest change of body language. He remains still as a statue, not bothering to look up at me either. 

His hands are gripping the edge of the mattress, his head hanging low. His eyes are covered by the short curtain of his dark messy curls. I can’t gauge much. Is he angry? Is he sad? Both? How should I approach the situation?

Before I find the answer to any of those questions, I am kneeling in front of him, our height difference eliminated. I gently pry his hands off the mattress and take them in mine, holding them firmly but tenderly. With one hand I reach up to tilt his head so his eyes can meet mine. He complies, his tear-filled brown orbs meeting mine. Those tears have the same effect on me as fifty sharp knives stabbing into my chest. These tears focus their attack straight on my heart, tearing it to pieces.

“Baby....“

He cuts me off, “Why is it always someone else, huh? Do they deem me not worthy of being with you? Do they think you deserve better?” His voice wavers, “Well, they might be right. They are correct and there’s little I can do to prove them wrong. They mean you well, Y/N - pairing you with guys better than me. Those are some loyal fans you’ve got. They only want what’s best for you. And so do I. If ‘best’ is being with someone else then...”

It’s my turn to cut him off. I put an end to his nonsense ramble that’s slowly killing me by pressing my finger against his lips. The sternness of my gaze is beyond me as I get up and walk over to his computer setup. I put on his headset and hop into the call as well as the lobby with his avatar.

“Hey Corpse’s back!” Toast says, “Good to have you back buddy.”

“No, not Corpse.” I say in a casual, nonchalant voice.

“Wait, wha-“ Sean’s voice shows just how confused he is, representing the confusion of the entire lobby actually.

“I know all of you are streaming so this message will be heard by several different audiences so I’m gonna make myself perfectly clear.“ I take a deep breath, “Sykkuno and I aren’t dating. He’s a lovely guy and he deserves to find a girl who will treat him right. That girl isn’t and won’t be me though. I am already treating someone right. Someone who treats me more than right as well. An amazing person. A man-child with a heart of gold. You know him, to a certain extent. He goes by the name of Corpse Husband, but I prefer to call him ‘Love of my life’. Thank you for your time and attention, goodbye.“

I exit the call and turn around to find a stunned Copse looking at me.

“That was meant for you just as much.“ I say with a fake strict attitude, one hand on my hip the other rested on his desk behind me, “Were you listening?“

Within milliseconds, he’s on his feet standing directly in front of me, his lips inches away from mine. “I heard and memorized every word. But...” he pauses for a moment, “I think you have no idea how big of a chaos you just created.”

I smile mischievously, “We’ll worry about that later. For now...” I close the gap between us, connecting our lips in a sweet and passionate kiss. 

@susceptible-but-siriusexual  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @hacker-ghost  @itsminniekat  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams  @the-fuck-up-of-today  @slashersdream  @chiefwombathoagiepizza  @solowheein @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01

[skeezsbbygirl]

tmt (too much tank tops) + bang chan

hello sunshines! (◕‿◕✿)

i’m sorry it took so long for me to update :( i had some personal agendas i needed to attend to, but all is good now <3 this is for anon who requested a bang chan scenario inspired from all the sleeveless looks he’s been serving all of us lately haha. hope you enjoy!

STRAY KIDS EVERYWHERE ALL AROUND THE WORLD.

Don't do it, you thought, as you fought back the urge to bite Chris' exposed arm. The said male's attention was currently fixated on his laptop, clicking some buttons as he bopped his head with the beat that was playing in his headphones. You could faintly hear the tune due to Chris' habit of turning up the volume too loud, claiming that he needed to do that to perfect his craft.

His arm flexed, unbeknownst to him, as he rubbed his neck in attempt to ease some of the tension that was building in his muscles. Such motion made his veins even more prominent, faint shades of green and blue laced through his upper arm down to his hands.

"Chris, stop," you said as you grabbed his arm, slowly guiding it back to rest on the table. Your boyfriend looked at you in confusion, swiftly hitting pause on his laptop to focus on you.

"Stop what, baby?" he questioned as his brown orbs innocently stared into yours, a hint of concern was also displayed on his features, worrying if he had done something wrong for you to call him out.

"I'm sorry, I'll get this done right away," Chris added quickly, taking your hand into his and pressing a kiss on your knuckles. You offered him a sweet smile as you shook your head.

"No, babe. I wasn't talking about that," you explained, shifting in your seat to take a better look at him. Chris slid his headphones off, setting the gadget right beside his laptop. "Then what is it, bub?" he pressed, "You know you can tell me anything, yeah?"

"It's just," you paused as a sudden wave of embarrassment hit you. "Just what?" Chris prompted for you to go on. You shook your head, deciding to bite back the reply that was at the tip of your tongue. "Nothing. Forget I said anything, go back to work," you shrugged, flashing him a convincing smile as you reached out for your phone.

Chris eyed you suspiciously, sensing that there was something odd about your behavior. "I'm not going back to work unless you tell me what's going on," he stated. "Look at me, baby," he instructed as his finger firmly tilted your chin up. "Spill, (y/n)," he said, taking your phone from your hand as he carefully placed it on the table.

"It's embarrassing," you whined, pulling away from his grip, opting to nuzzle your face into his neck. "It's just me, babe," he chuckled, "Come on, baby."

"Exactly, it's you," you muttered, sending shivers down Chris' spine as your lips grazed the sensitive skin of his neck as you spoke. "What about me, love?" he asked as he grabbed your waist, pulling you towards him, making you settle on his lap. Your arms automatically wrapped themselves around his shoulders with your face still buried in his neck as he maneuvered you into a comfortable position.

"Youandyourstupidmuscletanktops," you breathed out in one go. "What?" Chris laughed, "What was that, babygirl?"

He heard you the first time, managing to catch your words despite how muffled you sounded. But still, he wanted to tease you.

"I hate you," you mumbled. "I hate you and your arms, and how they make me feel."

"No, you don't," Chris interjected. "Because if this is how you react when you hate them, then how much more flustered will you get when you actually love them," he teased.

You groaned in annoyance. "See? This is why I didn't want to tell you," you said as you emerged from your hiding. "So, you were ogling at my arms, huh?" Chris joked, cocking one eyebrow at you.

"Whatever, I'm joining Hyunjin in the dance room," you pouted, pushing yourself off of him, but Chris only tightened his hold on you. "No, baby," Chris whined, "Alright, I'm sorry, no more teasing."

Chris leaned in and gave you a kiss, one that lasted longer than usual. "You're the cutest," he cooed to which you responded with an eye roll. "I'm flattered that you like my arms," Chris said, "I've been working out with Bin a lot these days," he added.

"Yeah, I've noticed," you replied as you lightly traced the veins that adorned his upper arm with your fingers. Chris visibly relaxed under your touch, his eyes followed your movement, fascinated by your actions. "I'm glad you noticed," Chris giggled, suddenly growing shy from the attention he was getting from you. Not that he wasn't used to it, but it was the first time that you verbally expressed your fixation on his arms. He might have noticed your stares now and then, but he really didn't make a big deal out of it.

"Well, how can I not when you've been wearing a lot of sleeveless tops nowadays," you pointed out. Chris lifted his shoulders in a half shrug and you shook your head at your boyfriend's cocky demeanor, snuggling back into his embrace.

"I find them comfortable," Chris claimed. "And I find them distracting," you countered back. "Yeah, clearly," he teased, earning him a light smack on his right arm. "I just want to be in your arms forever," you said and Chris smiled at your response, planting a kiss on your forehead in the process.

"I'm here, baby. I got you forever."

The both of you stayed cuddled up for a while, with one of Chris' hand gently stroking your hair while the other was wrapped around your waist, keeping you close to him.

"I missed you," you spoke after a while. "Like a lot," you added as you peppered Chris' neck with small kisses. "I missed you more, babygirl," he replied. "Alright, let me finish up and we'll go home," Chris released his hold on you, gently guiding you back to your seat.

An hour later, you guys were home, with you on the bed and Chris currently taking a shower. You were sprawled out on your stomach as you mindlessly scrolled through your phone, answering messages from your friends that popped up in your notification center every now and then.

Your attention was only shifted when Chris emerged out of the bathroom, clad in nothing but black sweatpants and a small towel hanging on his right shoulder, leaving his upper body bare. He sat on the edge of the bed with his back to you as you watched him dry his hair with the towel.

"Here, babe, I'll do it for you," you offered as you crawled to where he was. You tapped his shoulder, motioning for him to sit on the carpeted floor of your shared bedroom as you placed your legs on his sides. Chris' body nestled between your parted legs, crossing his own and making himself comfortable. "Thanks," he said, handing you the towel.

"You did well today," you complimented which earned you a shy chuckle from Chris. "You say that everyday," he noted, dodging your praises. "Because you do well everyday, Chris," you insisted, harshly ruffling his hair to make your point. The black-haired male whined at your sudden action, tilting his head up to pout at you. "You're such a baby," you teased, leaning down to kiss his lips. "But I'm your baby," Chris replied, catching your lips in another kiss.

"Yes, you are, so you better wear more sleeves from now on," you squeezed his arms, and then leaned down to plant a kiss on his exposed shoulder. "Aww, is my queen jealous?" Chris joked, poking your cheek. You huffed in response. "Don't worry, beautiful," he paused as he turned his body around to properly face you. "They may be out there for everyone to see, but they're only yours to touch and feel, and occasionally ogle at," he continued, a giggle escaping his lips as he delivered the latter line.

"I do not ogle," you argued, playfully hitting his arm with your fist. Chris laughed and stood up, hovering over your seated figure. He placed his hands on your sides, caging you within his arms. With Chris being so close, you could smell the all too familiar scent of his body wash -- it was safe to say that it took quite a lot of control not to pounce on him right there and then. "Yeah, sorry. I meant drool," he mocked.

You scoffed at his remark. "Forget it, I'm gonna ogle at Changbin's arms instead," you challenged and Chris immediately dropped his act. "Don't you dare," he gasped and attacked you with kisses. You yelped in surprise, throwing your head back as you giggled, which only allowed Chris to have better access to your neck.

"Alright, alright," you managed to say in between giggles, "I'm kidding, Chris!"

Chris stopped, placing one final kiss on your lips as he detached himself from you. "Good, 'cause you're mine," he stated. "I'm yours, always. I promise," you reassured as your hands came up to gently caress his cheeks. Chris melted under your touch, basking within the affection you were giving him.

You closed the gap between the two of you, connecting your lips with his once more. Chris caught you off guard for a second when he deepened the kiss. It was slow and soft at first, but things quickly turned heated when Chris nibbled on your bottom lip, and at your grant of access, he delved inside your mouth.

You raked your hands through his brown curly locks, lightly tugging at the strands as you pulled him closer, which elicited a soft moan from Chris, his own hands finding their way under your top.

"Alright, sugar lips," you chuckled as you pulled away from Chris, halting his advances, "Go put a shirt on, you need to rest."

"Don't want to," Chris insisted as he towered over your figure once again. "And why not?" you asked, raising one eyebrow at him. "Because I wanna love on you right now," he answered, "So lie back, babygirl."

[supernovafics]

𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐒

pairing: ransom drysdale x fem!reader

summary: in which a series of unfortunate events led you to living with your best friend, ransom drysdale. and now it has been seven months and aside from minor miscommunications, everything was going pretty great with the unexpected living arrangement. however, a certain phone call has the power to change all of that.  

warnings: explicit language, mentions of smut, some angst, soft!ransom (but he’s an asshole at some points), drunkenness, parent issues 

word count: 3.9k words

author’s note: first time writing something ransom related and also first time posting something in what feels like forever lmao i just started my third year of college so things have been a lil chaotic lately. but i hope you all enjoy this!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

When you heard the front door slam shut, followed by the sound of elated giggles, you knew you should’ve gone to the library to study for your Criminal Law exam. Mainly because you knew exactly what sounds would come next.

You had lived with Ransom Drysdale long enough, and had known him even longer, to know where things were about to lead with the latest conquest he had just brought to the apartment. And to say that you really didn’t want to hear what would be coming next would be an understatement; you hated that the walls in the apartment were so damn thin.

Therefore, once you heard Ransom’s room door shut, you did not hesitate to close your notebook and textbook, packing both things away and proceeding to leave the apartment. You made sure to slam the door on your way out so that he knew how annoyed you were.

You were on the phone with your friend before you even made it to the stairwell.

“Hi, is the invitation to study together still open?” You asked when Liana answered the call. From the moment you started law school, only about four months ago, you and Liana became friends almost immediately. In a field that was way too male-dominated, it was refreshing to see another girl in your classes.

“Yes, please come over to my place,” She did not hesitate to answer. “I am currently struggling and also freaking the fuck out.”

You laughed a bit. “Glad to know we’re on the same exact page. This test might be the death of me.”

“I can wholeheartedly agree with that statement. So, I’ll see you soon?”

“Yup, I’ll be there in a bit,” You responded before hanging up the phone.

As you got into your car, you heard a notification ping on your phone. When you looked at it, you saw that it was a text from Ransom that said, “Sorry.” You couldn’t help but wonder when he had time to send that in between what he was doing with the girl he brought home. Instead of asking that, you sent him back a text that simply said, “Fuck you.”

• • •

The drive to Liana’s apartment did not take longer than twenty minutes, and soon you both had your textbooks and notebooks sprawled out on her kitchen table.

“Okay, I know we’re supposed to be studying, but I love drama too much. What did Ransom do?”

You looked up from your textbook and sighed as the last thirty minutes replayed in your mind. “He brought a girl over to the apartment, but he didn’t give a heads up this time. I was this close to hearing things that would have traumatized me.”

In the eight years you’d known Hugh Ransom Drysdale, you’ve only had the displeasure of hearing him having sex once. It was Senior prom, and he was fucking a cheerleader in the girl’s bathroom, and the timing of you needing to use the restroom was upsettingly perfect. At first, when you walked in, you had absolutely no idea who was in the stall, but when you heard the girl he was with scream his name excessively loud, you rushed out of the bathroom, scarring visual images already playing in your mind.

Since then, you’d been lucky enough never to have to hear him again, and you didn’t want that to change anytime soon, especially on a night where you needed to study for a test that you just knew was going to kill you.

“Yikes,” Liana said in response to your previous words. “Honestly, with his track record with women, I’m surprised this hasn’t happened more often than not.”

“That’s the exact reason why I came up with this system when he let me move in with him. He’s supposed to text or call me before he’s at the apartment, and I leave as quickly as possible. But, apparently, the dumbass forgot tonight.”

“God, I still can’t believe you moved in with him.”

“He’s a dick and a sarcastic asshole most of the time, but he’s also my best friend, and I love him,” You stated honestly and with a small shrug. “And when all of that shit went down with my parents, and I had nowhere else to go, he was the first person to help me out.”

Your parents were much more of the traditional type and cared more about you finding a husband rather than actually getting a career. Part of them even hated the fact that you were going to college instead of pursuing one of the sons of their many, many rich friends and becoming married by twenty-one. And seven months ago, when you told them that you were going to Law School– to a college that you had received a full scholarship from– once you got your undergraduate degree, they decided to disown you, and did so with almost no hesitation. It hurt like hell at first, but part of you felt like it had been inevitable. They wanted one thing for you, and you wanted something vastly different.

That same night, you showed up at Ransom’s apartment, expecting to only stay there for the night, but he offered to let you stay in his spare bedroom as long as you needed to and was adamant about you accepting his offer. And of course, you said yes; Ransom may be rude and condescending to pretty much everyone, but he was almost always nice to you.

“Anyway, enough about me and the loveable douchebag I live with,” You said and then looked down at your textbook again. “Can we study for this test?”

Liana reluctantly nodded her head. “Sadly, yes.”

• • •

A silent prayer passed your lips as you opened the front door to the apartment two hours later, hoping that it was only Ransom in it now. When you heard nothing except the quiet tick of the clock on the wall, you emitted a sigh of relief, knowing that you were in the clear.

You placed the books in your hands on the kitchen island and began rummaging through the cabinets to find the cereal.

Yes, it was almost two in the morning, but having cereal this late was your guilty pleasure. You didn’t understand how or why, but it always tasted better in the middle of the night.

All that was left was a box of Trix that you were positive Ransom had bought because you weren’t the biggest fan of that cereal, but you settled for it anyway because you craved cereal, and at that moment, it didn’t matter what kind. You ate your cereal standing at the island as your mind ran through a few of the concepts you and Liana had just studied, upsettingly failing to correctly recall most of them.

You were racking your brain trying to remember the definition of the “principle of legality” when you heard the sound of footsteps coming from Ransom’s room, steps that sounded like more than one person. Before you could go anywhere else, you saw him, dressed in a simple t-shirt and sweatpants, and the woman he was with, unsurprisingly dressed in what you guessed was the clothes she had shown up in but were now disheveled and slightly wrinkled.

The woman noticed you in the kitchen. “Uh, who is this?”

You understood her confusion. Ransom always failed to mention you; his best friend who had been living with him for the past seven months due to extenuating circumstances. You never felt offended that he didn’t inform them about you, though, because you knew that there was really no point. The women he was with were always a one-and-done situation, and you rarely ever met them.

But, in the few instances that you did meet some of the women that would come and go throughout the apartment, they had been nice, so you never hesitated to be friendly back with them. However, due to the night you had endured and the way that Ransom’s latest hookup was looking at you with an expression that could only be deemed as disgust, you weren’t in the mood to be nice.

So, you smiled at the woman in front of you and then narrowed your eyes at her. “I’m his wife.”

She gaped at you for a brief moment before turning to Ransom and slapping him across the face before storming out of the apartment. You had to put your hand over your mouth to stifle your laughter.

When the door slammed shut, you went over to lock it and then looked at Ransom. “You’re welcome. Now you’ll never have to see her again.”

“I do not think I should thank you because she fucking slapped me. Very hard, might I add,” Ransom responded as he rubbed his cheek. “Also, what if I wanted to see her again?”

“Then I'd say I think you’re having a stroke, and we should probably take you to the hospital,” You said with a sarcastic smile gracing your features. “And I didn’t expect the slap, but I’m glad she did it because now I don’t have to. You promised that you would at least give me a courtesy text before you brought a girl over. You know how thin these fucking walls are.”

“I know, I know, but everything with her happened so fast, and I forgot to text you,” Ransom responded as he walked over to where you were still standing at the island. He grabbed your cereal and spoon and took a bite of the colorful Trix.

You rolled your eyes, not wanting to accept the terrible excuse, and pulled your bowl away from him, grabbing your spoon back. “You do not deserve my cereal.”

His eyebrows quirked up amusingly, and you could see the playful glint sparking in his blue eyes. “Cereal that I paid for?”

“You’re the worst,” You said and then flipped him off before grabbing your bowl and walking to your room, closing the door behind you.

“Love you too,” Ransom’s voice penetrated through the door, and you could practically hear the smirk in his tone.

You were sitting cross-legged on your bed when the door opened, and you were too busy enjoying your cereal to tell Ransom to get out.  

“Did you get to study for your test?” He asked as he walked over to your bed and laid down next to you.

“Yes. But, will I still be failing said test? Also, yes,” You answered and then looked at Ransom. He was laying on his back with his head on one of your pillows and eyes closed, but you knew he wasn’t sleeping just yet. “Please tell me that you’ve taken a shower since fucking whoever that girl was.”

His eyes were still closed. “Then I’d be lying to you.”

You outwardly cringed. “Remind me to wash my sheets tomorrow.”

“Got it,” He mumbled and turned on his side, and you knew that he was definitely asleep now.

You finished the rest of your cereal and then went to the kitchen to put the bowl in the sink. When you came back, you saw that Ransom was now under the covers. You let out a breath of a sigh before joining him.

“Move over, weirdo,” You said as you attempted to get comfortable under the comforter.

“I hate you,” He mumbled but still shifted over a bit so that you had more room.

You let out a small laugh and smiled into the darkness. “Love you too.”

You wondered if there was ever a time where he had been in a girl’s bed as platonically as this; your gut instinct told you no. Ransom was not the type to simply sleep in a girl’s bed; there would always, always be something more happening.

But somehow, that was never the case with you.

And honestly, you were glad for it. Your friendship with him meant more to you than what a one night stand would have been, and at this point, you couldn’t even imagine what something more would be like.

You would never know this, but from the moment he met you, there was something about you that made him not just want one night with you. The sarcastic remark you gave him when you both were fourteen and first met at this banquet dinner that his parents put together and your parents were invited to let him know that you would be harder to hook up with, but he always liked a challenge.

However, your wittiness and sense of humor that he had the pleasure of seeing throughout that night when you both snuck a bottle of champagne and talked about anything and everything– before your parents caught you and dragged you home– told him that there was more to you that he wanted to see.

Yes, he wanted to have sex with you, but he wanted you in his life more. He didn’t just want one night.

And so far in your eight-year friendship, he has had thousands of them, and the question of whether or not he still wanted to have sex with you was up for debate.

• • •

You walked out of your Criminal Law class surprisingly feeling okay about the test. It did not go amazingly, like you expected, but you didn’t think that you failed it.

Before you could further ponder the past hour of your life, your phone began ringing in the back pocket of the jeans you were wearing. You expected the call to be from Ransom, but when you saw your dad’s contact name come up, you almost dropped the device in your hand.

To say that you were hesitant to answer the call would be an understatement. The last time you talked to him or your mom was seven months ago when they disowned you because you refused to live the life they wanted for you.

You didn’t know whether or not you should answer the call, mainly because you had no idea why he was calling, and that uncertainty made you feel worried. Your finger hovered over the answer button, silently debating what to do.

Until the decision was made for you.

Your phone stopped ringing, and a notification immediately popped up saying that you missed the call.

Another call didn’t come through after that, and you had no idea if you should feel relief or not. However, instead of thinking more about that thought, you decided to just finally head to your car and drive back to the apartment since you didn’t have any other classes for the rest of the day.  

You desperately wanted to know why your dad had called, but you also feared that whatever he would say would only make you want to go right back to how things were before everything changed. And you knew that he was the one that could make you even think about dismissing what you truly wanted and listen to what he and your mom wanted. Your relationship with him had always been stronger than the one you had with your mother.

Part of you couldn’t help but think that maybe things changed, and he was finally understanding of what you wanted from your life, and he managed to get your mom to understand too. For all twenty-two years of your life, all you wanted was for them to truly understand you and accept the fact that you would never allow yourself to simply be someone’s wife; you knew that you were deserving of so much more than just that.

They could never understand, though. You felt that your dad had gotten close at times, but you also knew that he was so far.

You didn’t know why he called you right then, and you knew that you never would because you wouldn’t call him back. You refused to do so. He and your mom were the ones that cast you away so easily, and that hurt a lot more than you wanted to admit. It didn’t feel right to talk to them just yet; you were still hurting from it all. Another fact that you didn’t want to admit.

When you made it to your car, a wave of impulsiveness washed over you, and you pulled out your phone, proceeding to call the only person that could make your spiraling mind feel better.

“Let’s get drunk tonight.”

“Hello to you too,” Ransom responded. You could already hear the smile in his tone. “I’m guessing the test did not go well.”

You bypassed his statement, mainly because the test you took was the farthest thing from your mind at the moment. “I don’t wanna go out because fuck human interaction right now, and you’d probably just ditch me for the first cute girl you see, so let’s get drunk at the apartment. Maybe watch some hilariously bad movies as we do so.”

“Okay, bring some stuff home. I don’t think we have anything good here.”

You smiled at that, already feeling better now that you had your night laid out in front of you. “Okay.”

• • •

“I have no fucking clue what’s going on right now.”

“Jesus Christ, keep up, Drysdale,” You sighed dramatically as you took the bottle from Ransom’s hands and took a swig of the dark liquor. The taste didn’t burn as it went down your throat like it did earlier. “The alien cheerleader is actually the mom of the head cheerleader from the rival team. Now we’re gonna find out who the dad is.”

Ransom simply looked at you. “I love how you think that any of that made sense.”

“Do I need to start it from the beginning?” You asked, shifting yourself on the couch the two of you were sitting on to reach for the remote.

“Oh, God, please don’t.”

You laughed much harder at Ransom’s minor joke than intended to, and that is what let both you and him know that you were definitely drunk.

“Okay, I think that’s enough of this for tonight,” Ransom said as he took the bottle from your hands.

You didn’t protest because you knew he was right; although, you were enjoying the light and floaty feeling coursing throughout your body. However, you knew that the morning repercussions of the night would make you hate yourself for drinking too much.

“You never told me why you wanted to have this drunk night. Can I have an explanation now?” Ransom asked, turning his head to look at you.

You were quiet at first. If you were completely honest, you wanted to forget about everything that happened a few hours earlier. But, you also felt the strong need to tell Ransom everything. He was probably the only person that you actually wanted to talk to about all of the horrible shit going on in your life.

“My fucking dad called me,” Saying those words out loud made you laugh uncontrollably because of how suddenly ridiculous that sounded to you. He was the same father that was on the same side as your mom when it came to dissociating themselves with you, and now he was calling, for reasons unbeknownst to you, seven months after everything happened. Now you were really glad that you didn’t answer him. He didn’t deserve an answer.

Ransom looked at you with an expression that could only be deemed as shock. “Wow, shit. What did he say?”

“I didn’t answer the call,” You responded as you mindlessly played with the fabric of the blanket that was draped over you both. “But now I’m glad I didn’t. Fuck him.”

“I second that fuck him,” Ransom agreed. He leaned the bottle toward you, allowing you to take it back because he knew you needed it right then. You didn’t hesitate to drink from it. “He didn’t leave a voicemail or anything?”

When you processed Ransom’s words, which took a moment to do due to your slightly inebriated state, your eyes widened.

“Holy shit,” You said as you grabbed your phone off of the coffee table and went straight to your voicemails.

And there it was, a forty-six-second long message from your dad.

You looked at Ransom. His eyes were still on your phone. “You have to listen to it.”

Now he was looking at you. “Why just me?” He asked.

“Because… Because,” You shook your head. “I just really can’t do that right now. I can’t bring myself to listen to him. So, please do it and just tell me what he said.”

Ransom didn’t question you further and instead nodded his head. He took your phone and watched as you turned your head the other way as he began listening to it.

“Hi, Y/N, I know that I probably should’ve expected to get your voicemail, but I do wish that I could actually be talking to you right now. I’m so sorry that it’s taken me this long to reach out to you, and there’s no excuse for that. But, I hope that things can become right between us all. All I want is for you to be happy in your life, and if that means law school, then I want to fully support you through that. Even your mom will too. Anyway, I really want us to talk soon, so please call back when you get the chance. I love you.”

The voicemail ended there, and Ransom tried his hardest to hide the surprise he was feeling.

“Well, what did he say?” You looked at him with wide and curious eyes.

He couldn’t tell you the truth. From the second the voicemail ended, he knew that he couldn’t. Because if he told you what your dad had said in that voicemail, he would lose you. If you knew the truth, you would move back with your parents, or they would pay for some new apartment for you. Either way, you wouldn’t live with him anymore, and thinking about that truly fucked him up.

Yes, the two of you had been friends for eight years, but these past seven months your friendship had been stronger than ever before, and Ransom didn’t want that to change. He really didn’t want to lose you.

It was completely selfish, and he knew that too, but selfishness was practically one of his defining character traits. However, at this moment, it felt harder to be how he usually was because when he was with you, he would never act like how he did with others.

But, right then, he forced himself to do it anyway.

“He was just saying the usual thing. How he and your mom want you to move back home only if you give up law school. Also, apparently, there’s this doctor guy they want you to date too,” Ransom told you, but he avoided eye contact with you the entire time. Until he decided to say his last statement. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”

You sighed and felt the involuntary rush of tears fill your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. As angry and hurt as you were, you knew that deep down you were actually hoping that maybe just maybe things had changed. You hated that a small part of you still hoped for some sort of heartfelt reconciliation and fairytale ending.

“Of course he did. Of fucking course that’s all he called about,” You finally said and took another sip from the glass bottle, this one much longer than the others.

Seeing you look so visibly upset made Ransom want to tell you the actual truth, but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. As much as he wanted to do that, the want to keep you as his roommate, as his best friend, was so much stronger.

So, instead of saying anything more, he deleted the voicemail and set your phone down.

He placed his arm around, and you immediately accepted the touch, moving closer toward him. “I’m sorry.”

In your mind, he felt sorry for you because of the fact that your parents were still assholes, and you didn’t question him because you now agreed with that fact more than ever. But, you wouldn’t know that he was apologizing for something entirely different, something that he knew you would never forgive him for.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

let me know your thoughts<3

[bubblyhoney]

sarah i have thought of another fic request or like a cute idea i guess! i didn’t have anyone in mind when i thought of it so you can write it for whoever you want honestly :)

okay so the reader is a streamer but streams games like animal crossing, standew valley, etc. then (insert who you’re writing for) says they don’t like that game, but later ends up buying it and the reader is like “i thought you said you didn’t like this game” and they’re like “well i like you” and they confuses their feelings and they end up playing the game together and reader gives them a tour of their island or farm

i feel like this request isn’t good, but the scenario seemed cute and i wanted to share it. sorry if this is confusing or just too specific cuz i know it can be hard to write requests like that! but yeah i hope it gives you inspiration and you like the request <3

new horizons

warnings: language, a Marvel reference (hint: natasha said it about tony), stupid idiots who don’t realize they like each other, use of pet names, Uno rage, Hasan Piker's presence

words: 1473

tags: sapnap x gn!reader

A/N: i’ve been trying to catch up a little on my requests (i’ve only got a couple so i’m not super overwhelmed) but school and outside life has been taking up most of my time so this one took me a while to make! tbh— ive never played animal crossing so i did google some of the game mechanics and i apologize if anything is inaccurate about the game…. but i liked relaxing and writing this cute one so thank you for requesting hails :3

requests/inbox status: open

-

“This game is trash.”

Your head quirks, fingers stopped on the screen. You’re in the process of giving your character a cute new nickname; it’s kind of hard to decide between “awkward dude” and “elderly skater”.

“Excuse me?” Your chat comes alive with emotes and ‘KEKW’s, obviously entertained by you and your almost-more-than-friends-friend.

There’s a story for that later.

Sapnap’s rough laugh comes through your headset and he audibly swallows, the sound of a water bottle dropping onto his desk echoing.

“I’m just saying—it’s boring. It’s like Minecraft but you don’t like… do anything.” The grainy image of his bearded face shifts and you see him pull out his phone.

“It’s— you can’t even compare it to Minecraft! It’s a completely different game system—you actually interact with other people live in the game.” You huff out a dramatic sigh, slumping in your chair with a pout. “Just because you go into this lucid state where all you know is ‘touch block, hit George’ doesn’t mean this game isn’t fun.” (He scoffs at your awful impression of his voice. Your viewers love it.)

“Jeez,” he mumbles, fumbling with the cap of his water bottle. “Touched a nerve there, bud.”

You roll your eyes, getting back to the village in the game.

“Don't ‘bud’ me.”

The call falls comfortably quiet, the sounds of him tapping obsessively on his phone and you clicking away filling the silence. A gentle bedroom-pop YouTube playlist remains in the background, prompting you to hum along and glance at the chat to see a flood of “check twitter” and “Y/N TWITTER!!”.

“What happened on Twitter?” You mumble, confused, and pull the website up on another monitor. Sapnap just makes a curious noise, swinging back and forth in a circle. “Oh my God,” you say to yourself, fingertips brushing your parted lips.

“What?”

“Hasan Piker just followed me and retweeted one of my not even remotely political old tweets. Like from a year ago.”

“That’s— wow. Congrats?” Sapnap’s voice cracks, and his ears flush pink the tiniest bit when you glance at his face on Discord.

“I’m gonna go on record and say that he could get it.” You shake your head in disbelief.

Sapnap falls uncharacteristically non-hyper-verbal, so you look past the frenzied chat and to his screen— wait. He muted and turned his camera off.

“Um,” you start, furiously typing question marks in your private chat. “Where’d you go?” You mute and turn screen share off for your stream, concerned that he might’ve fallen off his chair and broken his neck and needs you to call the ambulance.

The characteristic ding of a twitter notification sounds through your bedroom, and you look at your phone quickly.

“That’s where I went.”

Sapnap Tweeted: “all Y/U stans can choke on my dick”.

“Jesus, Sapnap,” you say, and rapidly refresh to read the replies. This tweet was deleted. “That’s so— that barely makes sense, bro. Why— literally what?”

His snicker floods your ears and you relax in your chair. Crisis: averted. “Don’t fucking— what’s wrong with you?”

“I thought it would be funny,” he offers, shrugging, and fiddles with the straw in his water bottle, smile fading. “And also Hasan pisses me off.”

“Why, ‘cause he wants a piece of this? Jealous?” You think back to your viewers, knowing they’re probably spamming question marks and coming to ludacris conclusions about both of your absences. No offense to them. You remember your stan days very vividly.

“I mean, kinda.” He rubs once at his nose, glancing at the camera (and what feels like you) before taking a sip from his water bottle.

“Wow.” You watch one strand of his hair fall from beneath his hat and brush against his full eyebrows. “I’m uh—I’ll get back to my stream. You coming? Or is it time for a Sapnap-snack?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He snorts and leans his chin onto the balance of his arm.

“That means you like to take a little snack break mid-stream and come back approximately nine hours later and you didn’t even eat.”

“You know what— fuck you.” He flicks the camera as you laugh at the look on his face.

The teasing mood is easily kept as you switch games from Animal Crossing to Uno, all the while slamming Sapnap with +4’s and skipping the newly-arrived BadBoyHalo at any chance you can get. It unironically pisses him off and he has to take a Sapnap-snack break midway through (only a fifteen minute break this time, during which you and Bad take a “What Kind of Bread Are You?” quiz). The rest of the night is filled with devious cackles (you), loud and sudden bangs that sound suspiciously like someone hitting their desk in anger (Sap) and the stupid barking of Rat, AKA Lucy (Bad). She’s cute but a menace to the sound quality of Bad’s microphone. You sign off stream around 2 a.m. with various forms of thanks and kisses blown to the camera. It’s been a refreshing night, actually; you’ve been busy organizing a partnership stream all week and all your friends have been busy filming or editing or what-not. Quackity had time for a little Roblox every couple of days, though. He’s got your back.

The next time you see Sapnap is after a two hour stream of him try-harding in Valorant and you finishing responding to an email from your partnership in the VC.

“Okay, I’m back.” You hear him shift in his chair and click a couple more times on his keyboard. You perk up in your chair, closing the email browser you’d been looking at.

“Do you want to play anything else? I’m down for anything.”

“Absolutely not Uno. You can go to hell for giving me 6 cards that one time,” he jabs. You scoff, crossing your arms and leaning back in your chair.

“Okay, the +4 was on me but it’s Bad who gave you the last two. That’s not my fault, sweetie.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he mumbles, trailing off as the clicking of his keyboard stops. “Hey, um—Guess what?”

Your heart beats loud in your ears at the tone of his voice. He sounds nervous; that’s never good.

“I’m scared to guess,” you try, playing with a little Minecraft dog figurine you have on your desk with fidgety fingers. “What?”

“I bought Animal Crossing.”

Silence. You stare at his discord icon blankly, trying to reroute the wires of your brain.

“Tell me you love it.”

“Well… I haven’t actually played it— but you said you liked it, so.”

“So,” you repeat him, ears warming but continuing on. “Is that what you tell all your friends when you buy something they like? That it's because of them?”

He seems to choose his next words carefully, pausing a beat to consider your questions.

“Well, I don’t have a crush on all of my friends.”

“You—what?” You stutter, caught off guard and stumbling. What did he just say? “Don’t tell me you mean you have a crush on me.”

“I’m almost positive I just did.” His discord icon stares right back at you, taunting.

“You know, you’re very casual for someone who just admitted they like-like me.” Your cheeks flush pink and you have to press a hand to your chest to keep your breathing sounding stable.

“Yeah, I’m kind of cool like that,” he offers, a huff of a laugh punctuating his statement. The conversation moves into a lull that you can’t help but know is because of you. He must expect you to say something about it, right?

“You are very cool, Sapnap.” You tilt back in your chair, sucking in a breath to prepare yourself for your next words. “And—Isortakindofhaveacrushonyoutoo.”

He must understand you, for you can hear the grin in his voice when he asks “Really?”

“Y-yeah.” You feel like a preteen again, all shaky and giddy in front of the boy you just asked to a middle school dance.

“Um, alright. What do we do now?”

“I don’t know,” you answer genuinely and swing in a happy little circle in your chair. “We could play Animal Crossing.”

“I’m down.”

You swear you’ve never heard more beautiful words.

He keeps his camera off for most of the time you two play, too focused on creating his island and asking you questions about how to fish to turn it on. He silently flips it on when you help him decorate his lawn, needing to show you in real-time the decorations he has bought and where you think he should put them. He looks cute. I mean, of course he does. He always does.

You tell him goodbye late in the night, eyes saying a little more than just “see you tomorrow”.

You like him. He likes you.

It’s even better when you two have matching gardens.

-

A/N: anybody and everybody (especially my precious hailey) let me know what you think!! :]