#also the shit he does to the people who got him put away is genuinely morally reprehensible

[greenglowinspooks]

Btw I need you guys to know that in Formaldehyde, Danny gets so /genuinely/ fucked up. Like babygirl really does begin displaying behaviors and acting in ways

[bibluebutterfly]

Hoo boy. Now I've made it known multiple times on my blog that I LOATHE the whoobiefication of Vox, but lets get into why/how Vox is NOT a good person nor a baby that needs protecting and why he's all the better for it. Buckle up ladies and gentlemen, this will be long.

Now, why isn't Vox a good person? Easy. Because he (along with the other Vees) is supposed to be the bad guy of the story. Shocking, I know. Vox was NEVER intended to be a good person, and some of y'all just need to accept that.

Now for the long part: HOW is he not a good person?

Well, first of all, his literal introduction is an ad selling drones HE DESIGNED specifically for stalking,"peeping on the neighbors has never been more stylish"

Right off the bat, this tells us he doesn't care about people unless he can profit off them.

Which is also backed up by the point that he ADVERTISES Val and Vels "love potions" which are basically just roofies.

Again. This man ONLY cares about profit first and foremost, screw the people who can get hurt/SA'd by his products.

Next, he has a power of hypnosis which he is NOT hesitant to use. He can take away someones free will at a glance and uses that to his full advantage.

He's also very willing to give Val his lowest earners to shoot. Notice that he does so with no hesitance and no regret.

Also, (and most significantly) he's a huge, HUGE enabler. This guy has cameras EVERYWHERE, ESPECIALLY when Valentino is involved. He's got cameras in Val's room, Angels old room, at Vals corner of the club (which moves when Val does), there's NO WAY he DOESN'T know that Val is a r@pist.

And DESPITE that, he still sleeps with the man, is very likely in love with him, and oh yeah, FUNDS HIS WHOLE DEAL. The cameras Val uses are Voxtech cameras.

Val may be the one who does the dirty work but Vox willingly and knowingly makes a profit off of that. He doesn’t just know and do nothing, he actively HELPS Val out and obviously has no second thoughts nor regrets about it.

This is not a look of disgust or discontent, this is fondness. Genuine fondness. For Valentino. As a PERSON. Let that sink in.

There’s also the implications that Vox is jealous of the attention Angel gets from Val. Angel gets abused constantly by Val, Vox KNOWS, and still hates Angel because of the sheer fact that he takes up so much of Vals attention.

Not to mention the HEAVY implications that he gets off on watching people suffer.

“Well Vox can still do better than Val!!”

While I’m at it, I guess I should bring up the fact that BOTH Vox and Val are MASSIVE red flags.

With Val, aside from the obvious, he’s also a huge attention whore for Vox and isn’t afraid to break Vox’s property if Vox doesn’t pay attention to him. Yeah Vox gets frustrated with him, who wouldn’t be when their lover is throwing temper tantrums every other day?

With Vox, again, aside from the obvious, isn’t afraid to handle Val roughly when he’s mad, and literally screams about how watching his arch nemesis/obsession get the crap beat out of him is better than sex. Right in front of Val by the way. In regular circumstances, 9.98/10 that’s gonna get your ass dumped in a second.

Not to mention the mutual condescension ation towards each other.

And as much as fans (including myself admittedly) like to shit on Val for being a man child, Vox is literally no better.

Plus the explosive tempers.

Seriously. Vox LITERALLY cannot do better than Val. Vox is the only one who can put up with Vals BS and vice versa.

OH YEAH and lets not forget one last thing: VOX ALSO ABUSES HIS OWN EMPLOYEES.

This dude is scared of him, and it’s NOT because he’s worried about getting fired.

So yes. Vox is not nor HAS EVER been a good person.

And for me personally, I love that. I love that he’s entertaining yet awful. I love his dynamic with Alastor, and I love his relationship with Val even more.

If you’re wondering why I personally love Staticmoth, it’s because basic couple rules do not apply to them. They’re both toxic narcissistic red flags and therefore they can be as awful as they want to each other, and the other will simply shake it off. Yet there’s still heavy trust between the two (never being scared of each other) and they still have little moments together where they’re genuinely happy. It’s unique, and something I’ve never seen in media before.

Basically, if you liked Vox better when you thought he was a poor little baby being abused by Val, read a fan fiction. There’s a lot of them out there.

But people really just need to accept the fact that he’s an awful person. Always has been. He’s not better than Val by ANY means. He and Val are both evil pricks who deserve each other.

And guess what? LIKING AN EVIL CHARACTER DOES NOT MEAN YOU SUPPORT THEIR CHOICES. IT’S OKAY TO LIKE VOX EVEN IF HE IS EVIL.

But don’t go on saying that Vox was “ruined” as a character when all signs have always pointed to him being terrible.

[writingouthere]

friendswithbenefits!Sukuna x reader. Your friend Yuuji sets you up on a date with his co-worker to help you get over your recent slump, not knowing that his dear older brother had ended it months ago.

cw: none really, some possessive behavior

"He's really great though, I swear!"

"What does 'really great' entail, exactly?"

"Well he's nice! Like, super nice."

You waited to see if there was any more information and when there didn't appear to be any forthcoming, pushed your friend. "Yuuji, I'm going to need a little bit more than that."

Yuuji seemed to think about this for a second and as he did you snuck some dumplings off his plate. He'd taken more than his fair share of the take out anyway.

You loved Yuuji, he was one of the most genuinely kind people you'd ever met. He just happened to have terrible taste in men, aside from his own boyfriend.

"Well, when I got lost the other day, he gave me directions and they were super helpful!"

"Wait, did you find this guy on the street? Are you setting me up with a stranger?" It wouldn't surprise you, Yuuji tended to adopt human beings the way a normal person might adopt stray cats. You couldn't complain too much since it's how the two of you had ended up being friends, but it didn't necessarily mean that whoever he'd picked up off the side of the road this time was your one true love.

"No, no, he works in the school too. He teaches like history or something. He just teaches in the upperclassmen building, so I don't see him that much."

"So he gave you directions after you got lost in your own place of work?"

Yuuji either doesn't hear your tone or he chooses to ignore it. "Yeah, really nice dude. He's also good friends with Maki, so you know he must respect women."

That was actually pretty persuasive. Maki would never put up with any man who was a piece of shit, maybe there was something here.

"Is he cute?"

Yuuji scratched his head and tried to take some dumplings off your plate while you blocked him with your chopsticks.

"I mean I guess, he always looks kind of sad but you're into that right?" You blocked his attempts at stealing your dumplings with a little more aggression than necessary at that.

"I am not!"

Yuuji hummed unimpressed, chewing on the dumpling he'd managed to snatch away while you argued. Thief.

"He's like a little taller than me, pretty eyes and he's stronger than he looks. He actually beat me in some sparring matches last year when the teachers competed." You listened even as you scowled at the way Yuuji said all this with his mouth still full of stolen food. He swallowed and gave you a mischievous smirk. "He has really nice hands too."

"Yuuji!"

"They're big and his fingers are long but not too skinny, they kind of remind me of Megumi's-"

"Who the fuck are you talking about?"

You stiffened as Yuuji's older brother walked in, scratching his bare midriff since he seemed to have once again forgot that wearing shirts was an expected human behavior. Even though he was only a few years older than you and Yuuji, he always seemed larger than life. Maybe because you had known him for so long.

"Yuuta, this guy I work with," Yuuji said, pouting when his brother stole some of the food off his plate. Served him right. "Hey! I asked you if you wanted anything before I ordered it."

"And I told you, I don't want any of this garbage. I'm just sampling," Sukuna said as he popped another piece of chicken in his mouth.

"Go eat your stupid healthy food then and leave our garbage alone," Yuuji protested pushing the plate out of Sukuna's reach. Naturally, this led to Sukuna shoving Yuuji's head into the table as he reached over and stole more food off the tray in the middle.

"So why are you talking about Yuuta's hands anyway. You and Fushiguro finally call it quits?" Sukuna's tone was casual but you had once seen him knock out a guy for groping Megumi in a club. If the day came where Yuuji and Megumi actually broke up, you think he might take turns knocking sense into both of them.

"Mnat mor me."

"Huh," Sukuna said even as he kept Yuuji's face pressed to the table. You rolled your eyes.

"He's saying that he's not the one interested, he's trying to set me up with him." You tried to push down the guilt you felt as you spoke after all you had nothing to be guilty about.

There was a flash of something in Sukuna's eyes but it was gone before you could identify it and with one last shove that had Yuuji groaning, he let him up.

"That hurt, you bastard!"

"Not an insult, I'm literally a bastard," Sukuna said and Yuuji rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, anyway, back to helping you get laid-"

"Hey!"

"-I'll let Yuuta know you'll meet him at six?"

"Can you make it eight, only old people eat at six." Yuuji nods and goes to type something in his phone. There's an awkward silence that he doesn't seem to notice and you can't help but look at Sukuna who hasn't taken his eyes off you.

"Didn't realize you were so desperate," Sukuna says and Yuuji doesn't look up from his phone before throwing a punch at him. Sukuna dodges, his eyes still on you.

"There's nothing wrong with going on a date," you say and you wonder who you're convincing. "It has been a while since a nice guy took me out."

"Ah right, I forgot you liked nice guys." His tone is too knowing and you feel yourself flush.

"Stop picking on her, Sukuna. Don't you need to be going to the gym, anyway?" Yuuji asks, finally putting down his phone. He seems to attribute the current tension for you and Sukuna's usual animosity. You wonder if that's all there is to it. Sukuna scoffs and walks back to his room. You still weren't sure why he'd even come out in the first place.

"Whatever, you two have fun planning the wedding," he says, his tone making your hackles rise.

"Say hi to Uraume for me," Yuuji calls back, oblivious. "Tell them I still want a rematch after last week."

Sukuna waves a hand before shutting the door to his room. Yuuji turns back to you and the two of you talk about other topics while your mind wanders.

You weren't doing anything wrong. Were you?

You and Yuuji decide to meet up with Megumi and Nobara for a movie before you need to get ready for your date. While Yuuji goes to his room to change, you head to the kitchen to clean up the remains of lunch.

You're putting some glasses in the sink when you feel a warm presence at your back. You can't hold back your sigh as a familiar pair of thick arms comes to wrap around your waist and a pair of lips presses gently against your neck.

"I haven't seen you in forever," Sukuna murmurs, the movement of his lips against your neck sending a familiar pulse of want to your core. You tell yourself not to let the soft gesture get to you. He never did shit like this without a purpose and his usual purpose isn't going to be fulfilled with Yuuji in the next room.

"You saw me last week, Sukuna," you remind him before leaning away from him to close the dishwasher. His hands slip down to your hips and you just know he's staring at your ass. You roll your eyes even as he pulls you back to him once you're standing. His hands pressing into the curve of your hips, putting pressure on them in that way that makes you melt.

"That's too long, princess. I was getting lonely," he teases and you feel him smirk against your cheek. "You must be lonely too."

"Actually I'm just fine," you tell him but you tilt your head so he can kiss the skin of your face, your neck, the parts of your shoulders revealed by the stretched collar of your old t-shirt. You let him lull you into a false sense of security before he reminds you why that's a bad idea.

"Really? I just assumed you felt lonely and that's why you were agreeing to go on dates with losers you've never even met."

There it was. This was why you couldn't let Sukuna get soft with you. He never did it without returning your vulnerability with malice.

"Sukuna," you say and you go to pull his arms off you but he pushes you into the counter, you wince as the cold stone presses against your body. "Let go of me." Your tone is calm even as emotions band their way across your throat.

"I would, but you seem to get lost when I let you out of my sights. I mean you're going to go on a date with some high school teacher?"

"Your brother literally has the same job?"

"Well, are you going to fuck my brother too?"

"For fuck's sake, Sukuna, get off me!"

Sukuna does let you go but only so he can turn you to face him.

Sukuna doesn't get mad the way normal people do. Usually he's just amused, maybe even mildly annoyed, but blatant rage isn't his thing. After your years of-acquaintanceship? light antagonism?-friendship, you recognized this as the stage where he was about to make his insults increasingly personal until you needed to go cry in the bathroom later.

"We are not dating," you tell him and he rolls his eyes.

"Obviously."

"Therefore, I can go on dates with other people."

"I don't give a fuck if you go on dates with other people."

"Great, because I'm going to go on this date tonight."

"Good for you."

"Yes, yes it is good for me!"

"You seem really happy with your choices," Sukuna goads in that tone of his. You hate that tone.

"I am. I don't plan on just accepting whatever scraps some loser will throw me when there are actually decent guys who want a real relationship."

Sukuna narrows his eyes at you. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I wasn't being subtle," you tell him before leaning back against the counter. Going for casual, knowing you're not quite hitting it. "Don't worry, I don't hold it against you. You can't give what you don't have, you know?"

"No, I don't know," Sukuna bites out and if he was anyone else, you would think you'd hurt his feelings but this wasn't anyone else and there was no way something you said bother him.

"You're just not a relationship person and that's-that's fine, I knew that before we started this thing. It's just, sometimes I want more." You soften your tone from earlier but it doesn't do anything to relieve the tension between the two of you.

"And this, Yuka is going to give you that?" He sounds bitter and he's not touching you. You'd been the one to tell him to back off but you couldn't remember the last time he hadn't had his hands on you in some way when it was just the two of you.

"I think his name was Yuuta," you correct before his expression tells you this is the wrong step.

"Right, okay. You know what, you go on your date and have the best time with Yuuta. I got places to be."

He brushes past you and goes back to his room just as Yuuji opens the door to his.

"Geez, what's his problem?" He asks as he makes his way over to you. You shrug your shoulders and he takes your lack of response as just your normal discontent with his brother and wraps his arm around your shoulder. "Don't let him get to you, he's just a dick."

"I know," you tell him and you do. You know Sukuna's true nature better than most.

You two make your way out of the apartment so you can make your movie and you try to ignore the guilt you feel as Yuuji talks to you.

"You know, he's actually been in a better mood the past few months. I think he might actually be seeing someone. Can you imagine who would be crazy enough to actually date that asshole?"

new series? wrote this to get the rust off so we'll see.

[andy-wm]

The Tarot of VMINKOOK

Their dynamic as I see it, and the absolute validation that Jimin and JK are together.

I really enjoyed the 3rd episode of Are You Sure, partly because I love the VMin dynamic, and partly becuse I was relieved to see that JK and Tae got along.

I also enjoyed watching just the three of them together without the rest of the members because I could really focus on the way they interacted.

This post is entirely my own opinion, and based on my observations. Feel free to politely disagree.

What we had was:

The Siblings - JK & KTH

The Cousins - JM & KTH

The Lovers - JM &JK

The Siblings

JK and Tae have peak adolescent sibling energy Pre-adolescent maybe....

It's typical of the petty rivalry of siblings close in age where the younger is the dominant personality and the older is slightly mistified by the audacity of their little brother.

Tae's eye-roll here 🤣

They will argue over nothing, but they will also readily unite when they have a common goal or foe. In this episode, they ganged up on Jimin for the sake of amusing the viewers (I get that they had a mandate to be entertaining but seriously, poor Jimin 🤣.)

At least it gave JK and Tae a reason to cooperate, because we know JK wasn't thrilled about him joining them. And who can blame him... how often do the two of them get away together?

Tae and JK probably have that "I can talk shit about my brother but nobody else can" thing going on, and I am 100% sure either of them would jump to defend the other if someone outside Bangtan gave them reason to.

I'm sure JK sees Tae as a genuine brother, but that doesn't mean Tae doesn't irritate the hell out of him sometimes. We've seen Tae take liberties, and we've seen JK snipe at him.

What is clear to me, seeing the three of them together, is that competitive-natured JK has to curb his desire to compete with Tae for Jimin's attention - to steal Jimin from Tae - and we've seen him do it, so it's not unheard of. The bottom line is, JK doesn't love sharing Jimin. And that being true, having to totally relinquish Jimin must have been... challenging let's say.

Even giving him a Harley to ride wasn't enough compensation for JK's FOMO when VMin were having fun in the car without him. And that grimace he wore when he was enjoying his solo gokart ride was absolutely hilarious too.

The other thing that comes between them, based on what I've seen, is JK's impatience with Tae's quirkiness. JK does not seem to have the gentle fondness or the endless patience Jimin does with Tae, which brings me to...

The Cousins

Tae and Jimin are like those cousins. You know the ones I mean? The cousins who have that magical bond. They connect on some ultraviolet wavelength nobody else can see, and it's both delightful and annoying for everyone around them (especially for the ultra-competitive boyfriend of one of the cousins, who feels like he's the third wheel when the those two get together).

Jimin and Tae are 친구 - same age friends - and this automatically puts them together - they are peers. It creates an instant friendship bond. But their connection seems like more than that, because Jimin and Tae seem to be so at ease together that neither of them has to mask, and that means they trust one another. That type of deep connection between two people can only come from unconditional acceptance.

Tae doesnt know how to use a drive-thru, and Jimin patiently helps him.

I believe that even if they grow apart, their unique connection will always remain... Because you never forget your first, right?

I'm talking about the first person who really sees you.

Maybe they're the first person you come out to and who comforts you when you're afraid of what that might mean for you. Maybe they're the person who never teases you when you miss social cues, and who will quietly explain the joke you didn't get. Whatever your situation, that person is the one who you trust with your real self. You know you're safe with them.

Both Tae and Jimin have characteristics that set them apart. I'm not in the habit of diagnosing people but Tae does make me wonder, the way he lacks social awareness and sometimes goes off on bizzare tangents, and his very individual fashion sense... not to mention his hatred of shoes. Jimin's gender and sexual identity would have been equally challenging for him, trying as he was to fit in and be a strong man.

They would both have felt like outsiders and struggled with connection and belonging, and I think their genuine support of each other is what makes their friendship so special.

I think that's what the soulmates thing is all about.

And who could possibly compete with a soulmate? Only one person...

In this social game of cards, JK holds the trump.

The Lovers

There's only one reason JK would rank higher in Jimin's books than Tae, when Tae automatically has higher standing on both a personal level with Jimin, and a broader social level.

Jimin and Tae are 친구 - they have a bond unique to people born in their year. That bond means younger or older friends are always going to be more distant, because even with close friendships across age groups, honorifics will still apply. Only with chingus can the honorifics completely fall away.

In addition, Tae is older than JK, so automatically holds a higher social standing. Even though Tae and JK are friends, JK should still defer to him, especially where his chingu is concerned. But JK does not.

This can only mean one thing:

Jimin and JK are in a relationship.

JK's status as Jimin's partner outweighs any other relationships Jimin has. Therefore JK stands as an equal next to Jimin, and that shuffles everyone else down a notch.

That's why we see JK squeezing in next to Jimin (sometimes pushing the older members out) so he can get where he needs wants to be.

That's also why, in episode 3, JK could take the bed next to Jimin and leave Tae to sleep on the floor.

Aside from JK's position as Jimin's equal, we can clearly see that he takes care of Jimin in ways he wouldn't if they were not together. He may not defer to Jimin, but he is visibly devoted to him.

I have never had any doubt that Jimin and JK were lovers, and I never for a moment thought they broke up. It's no surprise to me that this is confirned when we see them on this trip.

But I'm still dying to see the next episode with Tae.

Bring on Thursday!!

[thefatedthoughtofyou]

Was having some thoughts about Steve joining Hellfire. They are as follows.

I'm thinking maybe they start him off with smaller weekly oneshots. Unbeknownst to Steve they are also still meeting for their regular other campaign, he figures that out later. That Eddie's been writing one shots for him on top of his other bonkers story he's got going and Steve is like "oh 🥺".

BUTTT! during the one shots, all the kids have their moments of being RUDE to Steve. Mike is the worst (cuz I dislike him and his fucking attitude). But everytime one of them is rude to Steve, and it's like legit mean stuff, like them calling him stupid. Things like that. Steve usually kinda gets quiet. And then, whenever the kids do that, Eddie starts making notes in his notebook. Then whoever said the mean thing, their characters die.

Like, Mike gets the worst of it cuz he's just such an ass. But Eddie's got a SYSTEM in these notes okay!!! There are straight tallys, for actually hurtful mean things, there are wiggly tallys for things he can tell are meant to be teasing but that he can tell definitely still kinda hurt Steve a bit. And then there are stars. People get stars for helping Steve along the way.

Be that helping his characters, or just helping him with his math or helping him understand something about the game when Eddie is busy or "distracted". Cuz he legit always notices when people help Steve. Most of the time it's cuz he hears Steve's genuine thank yous. Lucas, and surprisingly Erica, have the most stars, aside from El. Max gets stars sometimes just for back talking Mike's rudes comments with shit like,

"mike what does it matter? we're all about to die anyway. That sphinx is gonna fucking eat us. Who cares. Leave him alone."

Because her and El have of course been invited too. But they've been playing just a LITTLE bit longer so they know a small amount more. El only has stars because she is legit always helpful. Steve has taken to sitting between El and Erica because they're the nicest to him. Lucas usually sits across from him.

Dustin has lots of wiggly tallys cuz he just can't control his mouth sometimes. But one day Mike gets brutally killed again and starts whining about it and Steve has noticed Eddie making little notes. Has no idea what they are. Cuz he doesn't look through other people's notebooks. Thats rude.

Everyone has noticed the notes. No one has asked. They all have theories. And when Eddie is like,

"I'm trying to teach you a lesson. Not my fault you aren't smart enough to figure out what it is." And his voice has such a BITCHY tone when he says it. Because Mike had JUST been hounding Steve for missing "obvious" clues and not being smart enough to figure it out and walking into a trap.

And steve had gone red from his ears all the way down his neck, he also felt bad cuz he'd gotten El's character hurt. And then Mike had been an ass. Steve was upset. So Eddie killed Mike. And then he's whining and Eddie's about to say something else when El speaks up, looks across the table with a scowl and says,

"just be nicer! It's not hard to be nice. Steve is our friend. Be nice to him." And she rolls her eyes at Mike, puts her hand on Steve's arm and is like,

"I will be fine. Will can heal me." And Will pipes up and is like,

"yeah. I can heal her no problem." But it's El's outburst that makes Steve kind of wonder more about the notes Eddie takes.

He'd never ask, and never look. But he stays behind one day to help Eddie clean up, they have weekly games at the community center.

So Steve's staying after and helping with chairs and tables and getting books and dice and things stored away and Eddie's notebook is RIGHT THERE. Open to the page he's always scribbling on. And Steve just sort of... stops. And looks at it. And it's everyone's names with tallys and marks and stars. Erica has wiggly marks AND stars. But mostly stars. Because she helps him with his math almost every game.

Also she "accidentally" let mike get hit with an attack in the game cuz he was being rude. El's is all stars and scrawled under them in Eddie's chicken scratch is,

"She's a literal angel oh my god."

So Steve's eyes are just wandering over this page and his brow is all creased and he doesn't hear Eddie come back until he says,

"figured out what's missing yet?" In that teasing sweet little voice he uses on Steve that makes him feel a little dizzy sometimes, give him butterflies in his stomach, and his whole body jerks and he looks up and Eddie's leaning casually against the wall near the door. And Steve immediately apologizes and Eddie laughs, shakes his head, walks closer. And is like,

"It's okay Steve. But you didn't answer my question." He licks his lips, steps closer. Steve looks back to the notebook for a second and then back to Eddie.

"My names not on there?" He asks, worrying his finger into the table top next to the notebook. And Eddie is nodding.

"Yup." And Steve's like,

"The tallys are about... me?" And he's frowning. But Eddie steps a bit closer, standing next to the table now. And he smiles, all shy and soft and is like,

"yeah Steve. They're about you. Got kinda tired of all the kids talking shit about you. And to you. So I came up with a system. Anyone says anything about you being stupid, I kill them." He grins, wide like the Cheshire cat and Steve feels kinda pinned down by it. Feels kinda hot all over.

"You didn't- have to do that. It's fine. It doesn't bother me. I mean I know I'm not smart." And he just shakes his head and looks at the ground and Eddie kinda slams his hand down on the table, startling him. He looks up and Eddie looks mad. Not at him. Just, mad.

"You're not though. Is the thing. I mean... you're incredibly good at strategy. I know you don't know enough about dnd yet to know this, but you've been a crucial part in winning like, the last three games." Eddie steps closer, his fingertips brushing the back of Steve's hand.

"You're not stupid. You're just smart in different ways." Eddie shrugs. Gives Steve a little lopsided smile.

"You think I'm smart?" He asks, biting his lip to stop the giddy smile that's threatening to spread. Eddie doesn't stop his smile, just lets it go, lets it dimple his cheeks and make Steve's knees weak. And he's like,

"yeah man. Just cuz some jumped up little tweens can't see it doesn't mean I can't. You're kinda hard to miss." He does bite his lip then, fingers playing with his hair, Steve knows he's trying not to hide behind it.

"I just uh-" Eddie clears his throat,

"I'm really petty. And protective. And it's ridiculous cuz you're not even mine but- I just- felt like I had to protect you. Or stick up for you. Or something? I dunno. Feels stupid now that I'm saying it out- oof!" Eddie huffs when Steve slams into him. Arms wrapped around his neck. He may or may not be crying into Eddie's hellfire shirt. But he gives Eddie a squeeze and then pulls back, looks at him, smiles and says,

"I am though." With a little shrug. And Eddie's like,

"you... are?" Confused. And Steve laughs, light and sweet and says,

"Yours. I am yours. If you'll have me. Or want me. Or- mmfph!" Steve's words end in a high pitched hum as Eddie's lips hit his. Just a firm press. His hand on Steve's cheek. He pulls back fast, pink in the cheeks.

"Sorry I just- if you let me have you, Steve. I may never let you go." He chuckles, giddy. Steve snorts, his head falling to Eddie's shoulder for a second before he looks at Eddie, cups his cheek genlty.

"Who says I want you to?" His brows jump, challenging. Eddie goes redder, down to his neck.

"Wanna try that kiss again?" Steve asks.

"God was is bad? I've never- I'm not... good. At that stuff." Eddie cringes. Steve cups both his cheeks until Eddie's wide eyes are staring at him, his cheeks a little squished.

"It wasn't bad. It was kind of perfectly you. But we can get you good at that stuff. You're a fast learner right?" Steve smirks, Eddie's eyes go impossibly wider as he nods aggressively, cheeks squishing even more.

"Yes, sir." Eddie mumbles between his squished lips. Steve nods, once and then moves forward, slowly, determined to show Eddie just how thankful he is for him. How thankful he is that Eddie sees him.

Petty.

And protective.

And Steve's.

[weebsinstash]

When I say with my entire being in my heart of hearts that I know with certainty that this-this-this THING right here would do the absolute most unbelievable petty gross obsessive dahmer level shit to you

He's petty he's evil he's got a childlike fascination for seeing what breaks people down and I hate him I hate him I hate him but ALSO what that dick do tho? 🤔

Mahito is the yandere over here doing shit like imprisoning you for his own selfishness and perhaps genuine affection but making you live in absolute deplorable conditions because He's Not Fucking Human And He Doesn't Even Know How To Feed You. He locks you away and disappears for an entire day and comes back with like a single can of wet dog food that he watches you eat from a squatting position like 5 inches away looking at you like Harley Quinn and the egg sandwich. Motherfucker would take all your clothes because he wants to see more of "the natural shape of you" and then doesn't understand why you start shivering. Or he deliberately keeps you like that because he wants to see how long it takes you to crack and beg him for help. He wants to see the depths of your pride as you refuse to grovel, curious of the lengths you'll go, the limits of your body against the chill

This depraved fuck will do dehumanizing little emotional experiments on you where he does shit just because he wants to see how you think and feel and what you'll do and I mean like he'll do SOME REAL SHIT. I'm talking maybe he's stalking you and you can't fight or use cursed techniques and you think he's just like, a human shaped spirit or something who's just a trickster, he's not being violent or getting you alone or anything yet, and then you come home to your apartment one day and he's literally disemboweled your cat on your coffee table and he's playing with pieces of it and says you were giving it more attention than him and sits there pouting as you scream and even tries to like touch you or hold your hand or hug you with. The fucking blood covered hands. like he would be so fucked up on purpose, "awww do you need me to hold you? You're so sensitive but i dont mind :3"

This man out here like "wdym you want me to stay away from you, all I did was kill your cat kill your mom kill your neighbor kill your best friend kill your boss' cousins' landlords' newborn baby BUT WAS THAT REALLY SO BAD 🥺" and does something infinitely worse to scare/coerce you into tolerating his presence

I'm not really uh into body horror or gore but as a side detail I feel like. Uh. There's like a legitimate risk of him actually unintentionally REALLY hurting you and has to use his powers to heal you. Like the one good thing he does is if he were to have you on death's door or like horribly injured he could just. Fix it. He twists a limb in a way he doesn't know it's not supposed to go and breaks it and then puts you back together like a broken toy while ooo'ing and aaa'ing at the way your skin stretches over the grotesque misalignment. Dare I say the horror of "him putting things that are way too big or weirdly shaped in you" also yeah he's one of the things he's putting in you and he's got a really gross like fascination with learning all about that stuff

He's really living just to see how many different ways he can make you cry and how many different emotions he can get you to display, just absolutely dedicated to terrorizing you while also chasing his own internal weird repressed desire for his own sort of belonging. You could be sitting there sobbing and he's either borderline getting off on it or he's standing there MAKING FUN OF YOUR CRIES like deadass even fake crying back to you

And the worst part is he'll do all this fucking shit to you and then the night comes and he'll still be over here like "and you'll let me cuddle you while you sleep right? 👉👈" and he'll be doing that Every. Single. Night. And what are you gonna do, try and kill yourself? Have fun risking accidentally making yourself a Curse and being stuck with him basically FOREVER

[princeoftheeternalbog]

Nicknames/petnames op characters like to call you PART TWO

Also suggestive warning for Ace, Marco, Izou

I don't care if law's is ooc btw he deserves to be sickly cute sometimes and yk we kinda saw how he can be when he loves something with that whole sora thing in wano so yeah I'm saying he can be affectionate as a treat.

Anyways here's like all the faves who are not strawhats:

Ace

Baby, sweetheart, pretty thing. Always says them in either the most flirty tone imaginable or the softest. Also he's like flirting with you 24/7 it's so bad but he jist can't turn it off around you like he's so down bad. 100% says heinous filthy shit but tacks on a cute nickname at the end to try and make it sound less intense. It does not work.

OBSESSED with you calling him love or my man and finds it ridiculously attractive. The first time it happened he set his bed on fire by accident and you both got lectured by pops :(. But seriously he just loves any and all verbal affirmation so naturally he adores nicknames. Doesn't get shy at all though, if anything reciprocating his chaotic behaviour makes it 10x worse.

Marco

Love/my love. Sweet and simple and he likes how clear it is to other people. He uses it a ridiculous amount though to be honest like you hear it more than your own name, it's to the point where if he says your name people on the ship don't know who he's talking about😭. Oh and he uses baby when he wants to tease you, like he drops his voice real low, leans really close into your space and speaks right next to your ear. Bit of a bastard tbh.

He blushes easily but doesn't shy away, in fact being called a nickname in return really makes him feel confident and puts him in the mood for affection. Though sometimes the nicknames make him feel...too affectionate. One time you called him pretty bird as a joke and he just sorta sat there, face getting gradually redder until you leaned towards him out of concern, at which point he promptly yanked you onto his lap and started what was one of your most intense make outs to date. Yk, casual things.

Thatch

Cutie, sweet thing, pretty thing. So so gentle with you and it reflects in how he speaks to you as well, even if he's upset or angry he still calls you the sweetest things because you're so precious to him. Though he's also a menace, if he finds out you like a specific petname then he starts discretely whispering it in your ear whenever he passes you to wind you up. Literally he doesn't care if you're having a serious conversation, he'll just slide in behind you and drop his voice to sound like a nice gravelly tone and purposefully make sure to exhale on the back of your ear to make you shiver.

Oh but he can't handle if you do it back, no this man folds like a lawn chair the second you start calling him anything other than his name.

Izou

Darling, dear, lovely, blossom. So casually smooth its unbelievable, also he starts calling you them before you get together. Like after a certain point of friendship and flirting, he just starts doing and saying the most romantic shit(Definitely thinks you're together before you actually are) and the crew are very confused and you're very confused but as if you're gonna complain yk.

This man gets so flustered when you use nicknames with him because it's not behaviour he's used to. Obviously he's been a pirate for a long time but he's actually very reserved and rarely dates so having someone who genuinely cares about him calling something sweet makes him blush so hard and you use that to your fully advantage. He gets revenge later though don't worry.

Law

Love, lovely, pretty, honey, every flowery pet name you can think of. He's so soft with you. He can't help how sickly affectionate he feels around you and it results in him just calling you all sorts of sweet words. He won't do it in public if he thinks you'll be put in danger or if he doesn't feel comfortable but like in front of the crew and strawhats and stuff he doesn't give a fuck. He'll just come up behind you while you're in the middle of a conversation, hand sliding down your lower back, and say sumthin like "are you okay my love?"

Blushes to high heaven if you call him something cute back, he just melts like butter. If he's in a bad mood or like in an argument or something you only have to come up and say hi love and he's all :///))

Kidd

Babe to the public. My love, gorgeous, pretty baby when you're alone. It's not really that he doesn't want to call you those things in public, he just doesn't want enemies to understand how important you are to him but also he doesn't want to keep your relationship a secret because he's obsessed with you and wants to brag about being yours.

Makes him really cocky if you use petnames with him. Like he'll flush but get so overconfident the second you say love or baby or anything of the sort. He doesn't care where you are either, he's just hauling you into his space immediately so he kiss the fuck out of you.

[coffeegnomee]

Writing this because I don’t see anyone analyzing the Kab lore and I’m genuinely intrigued as to how people are viewing it.

It’s just such an interesting and all over the place story atm. I have a huge amount of faith that she will make an amazing story by the end of the season. I’m willing to let her cook. She has to get practice in this somehow.

But also she’s just so all over the place. And not really embracing the depth of mcrp, but that's a different story.

This started from having a hard time drawing the line between lore and not lore because I refuse to just say “Kab in the box was lore and everything else is not” even though I’m pretty sure that is like exactly how she views it. 

Because the moment Red killed her she went to chat and said something like “chat it only took me three weeks to get lore on the server!” Like girl it’s been lore. All of it is lore. 

And then the box arc was just like, enter the box angry at Red because he’s forcing you to hide, go through your friends and realize you care about them, go through the rest of the team and remember you f-ing hate all of them, including the friends at the start. Leave the box angry at Red, using pacifism as a cover to get close to Woogie to destroy Red. 

Like am I crazy to say that she didn’t change in the slightest because of the box and you could take that whole arc away and nothing would be different? 

But what IS interesting about that is how she never got over Red killing her. Never. I think she hoped that the box would soothe her out of that hate and come to a different conclusion, but by the end the (almost too real) rage about him killing her, especially after she made him that armor, pervades to this day. 

Now THAT’S lifesteal, holding the hurt until it has a real resolution, not trying to get yourself over it quicker. As Red said last season “we make our best content when we actually hate each other” (not a direct quote, Zam said it) and as uncomfortable as that is to blend real hate into the ability to tell a story, there is real truth to that, that unless you, You the Writer, actually Care about the stakes of the story, you’re not going to write a good story. And nothing makes you care more than actually caring.

But Kab puts up these walls around herself to delineate character vs streamer. She is, to her credit, quite good at being in character, to the point where when she drops the character it is so jarring to be told none of it is real, this is just lore. It’s wildly jarring. And makes it quite difficult to find her character to be endearing? At least for me. Because she consistently does little things to break the fourth wall like clearly having left the box to get materials. Girl PLEASE why did you not just include getting materials and being paranoid about being caught as a PART of that story?? Sigh. 

So she, in her mind, has a very clear distinction for what is her character. And a distinction for what she herself is willing to do. And that separation makes basically everything she says “in character” a lie; like she can say what she wants, be dramatic and make a cool tragic character, but that will not have a real meaning on who she is as a character on Lifesteal as a whole.

And what I find fascinating is that despite that, she is a mirror to whoever is in front of her. She absolutely becomes whatever the person in front of her is. 

She comes out of the box saying she will use pacifism to get to Woogie. But then Flame blows up spawn and she feels bad, so she talks to Zam and within 5 seconds you can tell she’s fully dedicated to that task. She fully embraces being pacifist. Because Zam is pacifist. 

But then Zam leaves to practice MCCR and next thing you know she’s talking to Wemmbu and within 5 seconds he convinces her to kill Planet publicly and with everyone online, breaking her away from pacifism. 

This also despite the fact that Wemmbu is Shit at instigating people like Zam and Pangi. He tried SO HARD to get them to kill him or change their views. But one devil on the shoulder to Flame got him to blow up spawn and one second with Kab got her to cave and kill Planet (TWICE! And get Mid’s heart!). SOOOO interesting how his approach works so wildly differently on new members vs old. 

So she mirrors whoever is around her. What a fascinating character trait out of the master manipulator. Is it manipulation? Or does she really fully and truly emotionally believe what she says in those moments? Does she come back with manipulation ideas after to fit whatever impulse she had in the moment? 

And then there’s the Mapicc castle. I 100% believe she was the one to blow it up. Maybe I’m just projecting. Maybe it was wemmbu during the window he had his pc and when he didn’t. Maybe it was someone else.

But she just declared herself evil. It’s only natural to try and instigate chaos and get the members blaming each other for things that you did. 

But she was SO GOOD during that conversation. Brainstorming and giving ideas for who else it could be, pinning the wemmbu heads on Mid but also pulling back and saying it couldn’t be her for the explosions, trying to work out the timeline. Like in so many ways she sounded like Spoke making up a story and being Unhelpful(TM). And she went out of her way to drive to her office just to have this conversation.

But also she seemed so helpful, so genuinely trying to brainstorm and pick apart this juicy puzzle in front of her. And therefore just curious, not manipulative. 

GAH I just can’t decide! She’s either completely brilliant or completely incompetent and succeeding by accident!

And it’s even more interesting given the thought that she came into Lifesteal riding the high of MoneySMP and how she pulled off a betrayal arc super well. But that was Kab vs rando content creators in the mcyt space. 

Now she’s Kab vs the very people who defined betrayal in mcyt. Everyone on lifesteal shares her ability to lie and manipulate. The thing that once made her unique is the very fabric of the server she is on. She thinks she’s got a leg up on everyone, but she’s merely on the same playing field. And that’s so dang interesting. Because she still doesn’t consider herself to merely be on the same playing field. She still thinks she’s better at this than anyone else. 

She said during the stream where Mane destroyed the Mice base (7/23/24) that she likes playing cocky characters because it makes the fall all the greater. But she just IS that cocky at times. Every time she’s jumped she’s giggly and cocky about being slick and avoiding being killed again because she sits on the respawn screen. 

So she’s cocky and willing to cause chaos, but she’s not the progenitor of chaos. She is not a worldender. She only causes chaos when someone nudges her towards it, not out of an internal desire to be chaotic and an understanding of the need for chaos on lifesteal.

And perhaps it’s because deep down, she cares about the people on the server. Not in the way Zam cares where he feels awful about everything he does that is evil and repents and has remorse over his actions. 

But she is affected by her caring. One of the most interesting moment of Kab lore was when she saw the photo of Mane standing in the blown up Mice base. 

KAB: “wow […] I knew he would blow it up, but like seeing the image is still like, fuck”

CLOWN: “really?” 

KAB: “THIS HASN’T HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE” 

CLOWN: “hasn't it happened to you like twice?” 

KAB: “he didn’t blow it up last time [...] I think, I think I have to leave. I think I should leave. I’m putting like hannah and red and leo at risk right now” 

It’s an involuntary reaction, something that is intrinsic to her core. She immediately went to: I should stop being on this team so I can save Hannah and Leo. I don’t want to see them get hurt. 

And this is before she knew Woogie was wanting to leave the Mice because he thought she was a threat!

This was before Red killed her! 

She came to this conclusion that she was dangerous to her friends outside of them agreeing with it. 

And she never brought this back up when she was in the box. She to this day thinks she did nothing intrinsically wrong (ie dangerous to others) by antagonizing Mane. At least as a character she refuses to accept this. But for a second there Kab Kaboodle came through and knew that to be an intrinsic fact. And then she didn’t expand on it. Missed opportunity tbh. 

And then I’ll end with an analysis of the Mane conversation after he blew up the base. Because it’s so interesting to see Kab banter in lore (though I suppose from her pov it wasn’t lore yet because this was before Red killed her) and see her say Way Too Much. She says she’s a master manipulator but girl you leak freaking everything. 

So, she says what she said above, then a few minutes later gets in vc with Mane.

MANE: “you didn’t think I had the guts.. To blow up the base of [unintelligible]” 

KAB: “[talking over him] you didn’t blow up the other one”

This whole conversation Kab interrupts Mane so much. She has to say things, to prove herself. Even when staying silent would give her so much more information.

MANE: “I’m gonna be honest, I was just looking for a reason” 

Every pvper on lifesteal ONLY acts evil when they have a reason. It’s so consistent. It’s never “just because”.

Kab says she put posters up of him bc she thought it was funny. 

 MANE: “yeeaa I find it funny too um. You said you're not scared which, I- I find pretty amusing” 

KAB: “ok!” 

MANE: “because you're obviously pretty scared” 

KAB: “you’re not scary. Dude. like your strength of the sword doesn’t fucking scare me dude. When you actually get smart and shit then then come talk to me” 

Super cocky. Super dismissive. Just looking for a power dynamic to make her regain control over the situation. That’s not manipulation that’s just a power grab.

MANE: “Ok. I’ll talk to you when I get smart I guess but I mean, I dunno, according to these dogs here you've been at, at the deepest level of the cave for for a while, almost like you’re hiding. [pause, Kab freezes and pulls up coords] am I right about that? That seems pretty scared to me. I dunno. But um” 

Mane absolutely cooks in this conversation but Kab just refuses to be affected by his lines and instead mocks him for being stereotypically tough guy. And yet she got scared there. She brought up her coords. 

KAB: “[scoff] alright buddy” 

MANE: “I dunno the way that you’re like, you're like interacting and the way that you’re like going about this is not the way that I would go about it personally”

KAB: “well, we’re very different people” 

MANE: “I mean. Okay. how do I rephrase this. The way that you’re going about this is not the way any other person has gone about this before” 

KAB: “thank you!” 

MANE: “it’s not a complement.” 

KAB: “I think it’s a complement. I appreciate that” 

MANE: “I’m calling you stupid.” 

KAB: “I try to be original” 

MANE: “you’re being stupid” 

KAB: “maybe in your eyes yea” 

MANE: “cause you’re gonna make a new base, I mean, you haven't even stopped to question how I found this one, which is quite interesting.” 

He’s calling her stupid for not asking more questions. Especially after she just called HIM the stupid one. He’s clearly smarter than he looks

KAB: “oh I know how you found it” 

MANE: “how did I find it” 

KAB: “my team already told me, I’m not telling you” 

Instead of fishing for more information, playing dumb, Kab instead goes for posturing that she is far smarter than him. She could’ve used this to make him think she’s stupid or to actually learn how he found the base so she can be safer in the future (later she tells chat the she has no idea how he found the base). And interesting move out of someone who wants to manipulate people. Usually you would want to play dumb, not play cocky.

MANE: “[scoff] you don’t know how I found that base” 

KAB: “okay! You can believe that” 

MANE: “yea, because if you did, there’s no secret to keep from me. Like the way I found the base myself”

KAB: “[interrupting] girl you know I don’t use that base right?” 

MANE: “okay. That’s your teammate’s base” 

KAB: “that’s fair. That is my teammate’s base. I more feel bad for them rather than me.” 

MANE: “yea. Yea. I feel bad for them too. It would suck to like, like, if I had a teammate, you know, especially considering like the fact that you, you- overall you’re team’s isn’t like the most skilled um if I was always suffering the consequences of my teammate’s actions who obviously doesn’t care about what they say” 

He’s using the info Woogie gave him to make her feel bad/see if she does feel bad AND SHE DOESN’T HIDE A SINGLE THING!

KAB: “girl if you’re trying to guilt me it’s not gonna work” 

MANE: “I’m not trying to guilt you, I I’m just saying like, if I was your teammate I- I would feel horrible, you know? You’re like” [.... devolves as mane is like if you want to loose teammates you can, and kab goes don’t mansplain to me (again, being cocky. refusing to be scared)] 

MANE: “even if you’re not scared, you’re putting your teammates in jeopardy, which you clearly already know, which is very interesting, very interesting trait for someone who cares about her team. So. I just wanted talk to you and get your consensus on the situation” 

He was fully going to stop the conversation there. But she just missed the cue and started to willingly gave him more information because her adhd ass thought that was a question not a statement /pos

KAB: “yea.. I’m I’m not overly fussed. It’s inconvenient. and that’s about it. It’s inconvenient” 

MANE: “for who?” 

KAB: “me” 

She’s revealing that her motivations on lifesteal revolve around herself. She cares more about herself than teammates in the long run. Like I said earlier, she intrinsically does care about people, but on lifesteal in particular she will first care about herself. 

MANE: “oooooh. See but you just said you care about your teammates and [unintelligible]”

KAB: “I do, but let’s be real two of them don’t log on very often and Leo’s been doing his own thing anyway. So” 

MANE: “oh. I guess you’re team’s already disbanded so” Mane brings back up how he just wanted to see what she thought about it. Again she just keeps talking.

KAB: “I think you’re being predictable and I think that’s helpful” 

MANE: “aw yea bro, glad I could help out”

[…more chatting] 

MANE: “If hiding doesn’t mean that you’re scared, I don’t know what hiding means” 

KAB: “I mean not everything has to have and emotional reaction” 

MANE: “I mean it’s not really an emotional reaction: if you’re hiding you’re scared of something” 

KAB: “scared is an emotion” 

MANE: “nah, fear is an emotion” DAMN SON. he really can just drop the dramatic bars bro. 

KAB: “fear is an emotion. I say being fearful and being scared is the same thing.” 

MANE: “if you weren’t fearful you wouldn’t be hiding” 

KAB: “that's not necessarily true” 

MANE: “how” 

KAB:” okay-” 

MANE: “hold on hold on hold on. [wanting direct clarification] Before we get into that, you’re saying that you’re not scared.” 

KAB: “no. [laughing at him]” 

MANE:” You’re not scared at all”

KAB: “no. I’m not scared at all” 

MANE: “Okay. as long as we get that out of the way” 

KAB: “I’m just not an idiot. But I’m not scared at all, no.” 

MANE: “okay. Ooooh, so you’re saying like the smart thing to do is hide” 

(/genuinely realizing this in real time. He did not understand this until this very moment)

KAB: “I mean, yea. Let’s be realistic. You are much better at pvp than I am and you have more hearts than me [ect] I’m doing it because it’s the right thing to keep my survival. HOLY SHIT I JUST REALIZED A PARALLEL. You’re a lion and I’m a rabbit” [derailed, mane says he got what he wanted, thinks she got something out of it too] 

KAB: “can I ask you one thing quickly?” 

This, I think, is the only thing Kab actually cared to ask this whole conversation. She was not being purposeful in anything else, just responding to what Mane was saying and saying things. But she wasn’t really listening to what was happening, she was too focused on looking tough and explaining herself. Until this moment.

MANE: “mmmhm?” 

KAB: “why did you go after my base and try and kill me? Was it the posters? Is that why?” 

MANE: “well, the posters were just a good reason” 

KAB: “you just want to do it?” 

MANE: “I’m gonna be honest. It’s just fun” 

KAB: “oooh. So I did categorize you correctly. Ok cool!” 

MANE: “[sad] ooh. okay.“ 

Leaves call KAB: “yea Mane is just as predictable as I thought he was”

Clown comes back in vc KAB: “[explaining the convo] he just wants to. He just thinks it’s fun. He’s just a crazy villain. I told you!” 

But like, I don’t think it’s that. I think we learned that you can get Mane to hunt someone very very easily, just give him a small excuse and he’ll gladly do it. Which is useful if you want a villain or want someone to hunt you. So in that way he is super predictable. But he isn’t “a crazy villain” the posters were just an excuse, an excuse he had been looking for. Because he wants an excuse. That is very different than pure “it was for the fun”. 

The fact that she comes to the conclusion that he’s just a crazy villain after that conversation is crazy. I feel like she just was looking for confirmation for a hypothesis she had rather than really looking for research to see who Mane is. 

Which is a huge flaw for someone who wants to figure out why people are the way they are so you can manipulate them. 

I feel like Mane, if he is smart, learned far far more information about her than she did from him.

The tension for the Kab lore here lies in how this will all blow up in her face. I think she will cling to things and copium her way into believing she won no matter what. But she will have been absolutely destroyed. 

And I keep getting hit with her being incompetent because she like, wildly, and I mean WILDLY, makes wrong assumptions about the older Lifestealer’s motivations.

Which is crazy to me because she WAS a viewer! She, in theory, (but probably not in practice because no cc has enough time to watch another smp with as much attention to detail and analysis that we do) should have a really solid understanding of the crew, and she self reports that she does but she’s been wrong so many times. 

Like not only does she get Mane completely wrong here, but when Spoke logged on one night and said he was betraying the empire because of jepex she flat out believed him??? And like brought it up again later like it was true. 

She thinks Zam has a huge plan of becoming evil. She had this whole moment in the box where she mansplained to chat that we are being fooled by him. We were being gaslit by him into thinking he isn’t planning on being evil at the end. And it was just so painful to watch because she’s just so wrong. 

Because Zam has never ever thought of his lore like that. He’s reactionary to the extreme, believing he will take the current lore to the end of the season regardless of how early it is in the season. He becomes evil by the end more often than he doesn’t, but it’s not premeditated. And she should know that. 

And she assumed that Red wouldn’t kill her. Like, no, I didn’t see it coming either, but it was a very Reddoons move. To take it personal when someone causes him anxiety. There were other small assumptions she made on older life stealer motivations that I can’t remember now. 

But to clear it out, what motivates Kab Kaboodle?? She hates not being believed. That’s what I took from all this. This is her trigger, the thing that will motivate her forward. 

Because she does lie and manipulate. And that relies upon being believed. So when someone believes something that isn’t true about her (like Red’s assumptions that she was leaking info to Clown) it hurts a hell of a lot more. 

But because she lies, nobody will ever believe her when she desperately tries to get them to believe the truth.

So yea. What do you guys think about Kab and her lore? 

[nightcolorz]

Armand could definitely 100% have prevented Claudia and Madeline’s death like obviously he is so full of shit 😭😭 he just chose not to. I dont think he was lying about being held captive, though. It seems more likely to me that he allowed himself to be imprisoned bcus the ultimate outcome would be desirable, rather then like, he was secretly orchestrating it all like a devious Master mind and was only pretending to be a prisoner to trick Louis. I think Armand was genuinely being imprisoned, but he could have easily escaped (as if the vampire Armand couldn’t win in a fight against Sam The Twink), and chose not to because it’s in his best interest for Claudia and Madeline to die 😭. While part of his betrayal I think comes from a comfort Armand takes in learned helplessness, where taking action feels less safe then leaning into victimhood, so armand chooses to accept helplessness rather then play the hero bcus helplessness is comforting, it was also definitely part “I want these two people to be gone from my life and this seems like a sure fire way to let it happen while I get to remain mostly blameless” 😭. Armand finds Claudia’s whole existence horrific and cruel. I don’t think he particularly likes or dislikes her as a person, he doesn’t seem to know her very well nor care to know her (he actually says this in tva lol), so I don’t think he considered letting her a die an act of spite.

Armand thought of Claudia as a suffering, rabid, sick and diseased animal that needed to be put down for its own well being. He considered her death an inevitable tragedy that “could not be prevented”, and bcus of his perspective on vampirism as a horrible curse that can only be spared through very specific very calculated and clean cut means, he wanted her death to come as quick and painlessly as possible. From Armand’s perspective, if he saved Claudia from death by execution, he’d only end up watching her excruciatingly loose her mind and self until she eventually killed herself or got put down by Armand or someone else Nicki style so that she wouldnt need to live in agony anymore.

Which, his whole perspective there is flawed, and fucked up, and dehumanizing of Claudia, but it makes sense why he would think that way. Armand considers vampirism to be always bad, regardless of the subject turned, and always smth he would hate to inflict on someone. So claudias turning, is not only cruel to Armand, but unforgivable and unsalvageable. He’s seen a lot of fucked up vampires in his time, a lot of botched turnings, and he knows from his experience how much of a toll vampirism takes on anyone, let alone someone in the body of a child. His whole “I will never turn someone into a vampire ever in my life” thing comes from this. So, of course he won’t save claudia from such a clean cut, blameless death 😭. He considers it an act of mercy, when he pictures the alternative as “Claudia clings to Madeline as she painfully looses her mind and eventually dies”. Which, comes into why he didn’t save Madeline either lol

Armand doesn’t particularly value life as smth to be worth preserving, he is very willing to view other ppl as commodities when it helps him. But he does value preserving peace and limiting other’s suffering (which is why he kills so gently). Armand is so horrified by Madeline being turned, partly bcus I think he saw himself in her. He sees a fledgling who he believes will inevitably loose her maker, the only person she rlly cares about, to horrible gruesome death, and he knows that once she experiences that her life as an immortal will be cruel and unbearable. So once she is turned, Armand sees another lost cause who will be better off if she is killed before it can get bad. What Armand misses when it comes to Claudia and Madeline, obviously, is that they r more resilient and self sufficient then he sees, and taking away their agency by deciding they have no hope and must die isn’t the mercy he sees it as but is actually like, fucked up and horrible. Armand is so blinded by his trauma fueled dog eat dog view of life as a vampire that he can’t see that.

I think the reason armand considers the perks of Claudia and Madeline’s death a priority over Louis’s happiness (and horrible grief that will ensue when his loved ones die), is bcus Armand considers Claudia and Madeline’s death an inevitable consequence of Louis’s unforgivably cruel actions. He doesn’t resent Louis for it I don’t think, but he definitely thinks that Louis will need to atone for what he’s done whether Armand wants him to or not. So, Armand is ok with Louis grieving (as long as it doesn’t turn to resentment of Armand), bcus it was ultimately inevitable, and comparatively less cruel then what he would have to witness alternatively. It’s a rip the Band aid off type of thing 😭😭

in conclusion uh Armand is bad but Armand has his reasons and Armand isn’t one dimensionally villainous, he has a ton of complex trauma induced reasons for the way he thinks, and his actions r more often then not coming from a warped view of “the kind thing to do” that comes from his lack of understanding of how kind the world actually is and can be (dog eat dog mindest etc), bcus of how horribly traumatized he is. thank u good night

[mrzombielover]

- slow ride ch1

feat. sinner!adam x fem!hotel worker!reader

series masterlist | next chapter

warnings: NSFW, enemies to fuckbuddies, adam and reader both suck, unhealthy relationships, size kink oooops, light degradation

a/n: oh my god this is so self indulgent. something is fr wrong with me bc all my favorite men are irrevocably fucked up and toxic and emotionally damaged and would treat me like shit teehee

wc: 2.2k

“You took my shame and you took my pride / And now you gonna take me for a slowride”

When even Charlie is trepidatious about checking someone in to the hotel, you know they’ve fucked up bad.

Adam had shown up, tail between his legs, admitting something about how he’s “desperate enough to try anything,” even this “stupid delusional humiliating hotel.”

Charlie, who’s more like an angel than Adam ever was, had ultimately decided that he could stay. After a lengthy and heated discussion, she’d reminded the group that the hotel’s policy states that everyone deserves a chance at redemption, regardless of the sins they’ve committed. Considering he killed your friend, you thought that was bullshit, but it’s Charlie’s hotel at the end of the day, and you’re just along for the ride.

You like Charlie, which is why you put up with having Adam around. She’s a good person- genuinely, deep down. There’s no hidden motives in her actions. You’ve not met many good people in your life, so she’s won your respect, even if you have your doubts about the hotel’s premise.

But for as much as you love her, you briefly questioned her sanity when she asked you to keep a special eye on Adam.

“…and how exactly is that the job of treasury secretary?” You deadpan.

“Wellll…” Charlie trails off, looking away for a moment. “It isn’t really. Buuut what if I was asking as a favor, for your friend?” She clasps her hands together, giving you a smile. You have to avert your eyes from the hopeful look on her face before your resolve cracks.

“No way in hell,” You say quickly.

“Please!”

“No,”

“Pleaseee!”

You bite your lip as you think. He’s obnoxious, yes, but what’s really the worst that could happen? You close your eyes and sigh.

“…you owe me one,”

You regret accepting every day. Nobody got along with Adam. Well, nobody except for Nifty, who seemed thrilled to have a real bad boy staying in the hotel. You, however, got along with him the least of all.

For someone who’d come to the hotel in his time of need- who was in no position to ask for anything other than forgiveness- Adam sure has a smartass mouth. It seems Charlie just wants to give you a brain aneurysm, that’s why she gave you this job. Even if that wasn’t her goal, that’s certainly the stage you’re approaching, because fighting with Adam everyday is 100% going to make you pop a blood vessel.

You can’t help it. Something about him- the way he acts, the forced proximity, just gets under your skin, makes your eye twitch. He should be groveling, begging for forgiveness, putting his heart and soul into bettering himself, yet all he does is bitch and moan. Constantly complaining would be one thing, hell’s full of whiners, but he also feels the need to voice every thought he’s ever had, which often includes insults and snide remarks about those around him. You’ve never been one to take that shit- though, nobody at the hotel really does. It seems to be much worse with you two, specifically, though.

The problem comes in because, as much as you hate to admit it, you might sometimes occasionally have some things in common with him. No, you’re not quite as loud or crude or obnoxious, you don’t generally insult people for fun, but if someone deserves it?

You’ve tore into people for way less than murdering your friend, showing up on your doorstep and being a pain in your ass 24/7, especially if you’re in a particularly shitty mood. Reduced people to tears for mildly inconveniencing you, having an annoying voice, wasting food, etc etc… all of which Adam does.

Generally, you’re apathetic to what goes on around you, especially at the hotel. You’re fed, don’t have to pay rent, and can pretty much do whatever you want, so dealing with the annoying, traumatized, dramatic residents and staff is a fair trade off in your eyes. Adam should, in theory, be no different than the rest of them to you. So you cannot, for the life of you, figure out what about him makes him so much worse than the rest.

You just try not to think about him as much as possible. But when you ignore him, he just seems to get worse.

“Jesus, you don’t think it’s a bit early to start drinking?”

You mentally groan as you hear his voice, avoiding eye contact as you crack open the bottle.

“I mean, Isn’t this shithole supposed to be for rehabilitation?” You can practically hear the smirk in his voice as he opens the fridge.

“Why don’t you focus on your own rehab first, dick? Been weeks now and you’re still an asshole,” You snap, before taking a swig of your beer. He shrugs, grabbing the orange juice from the fridge and placing it on the counter. He walks past where you’re leaning on the counter to get a glass.

“I mean, damn, you didn’t even try today, huh?”He laughs.

“Why are you pickin’ a fight with me right now?” You raise your voice a little, exasperated and too hungover to deal with this.

“oh, uh, i dunno… i’m bored?” He shrugs again, looking over to you with a self satisfied smile. You groan in frustration, then sigh, forcing yourself to keep it together.

“…and you wonder why your wives left you,” you mumble with a roll your eyes, turning to quickly leave the kitchen. you don’t see his face, but judging from the sound of a crash and footsteps quickly following you into the hallway, you hit a nerve. oh, god, here we go…

“you fucking junkie bitch!” he yells after you as you stomp up the stairs.

“you’re proving my point right now!” you say over your shoulder.

“Like you have room to talk? Let’s bring up your love life, huh?!”

“oh my god shut up!” Angel yells through the door as you pass his room. “Every fuckin’ morning with you two!”

Adam ignores him, continuing to rant as he follows closely behind you, every degrading name he can think of spilling from his lips.

“…fucking whore cunt- whose not even fucking listening to me!” he says as you turn into your room. you turn, attempting to slam the door, but he sticks his foot in the gap and grabs the door, shoving it back open.

“what in the fuck is your problem today?!” you yell.

“it’s you, bitch!”

“oh my god- how do you care about anything this much? Seriously, it’s not that deep!”

you jump a little as he suddenly slaps the beer bottle out of your hands, the glass shattering loudly and the leftover beer soaking your socks. your jaw drops, outraged, and you can’t help the reflex to reach up and smack the side of his head.

“ow!” he yelps, and you raise your fists to hit him again, when-

“you- fucking bitch-!” he shouts. you cry out in surprise as he grabs your wrists and yanks you with surprising ease, shoving you roughly into the wall behind you.

theres a struggle, both grunting with the strain of pushing against each other as Adam wrestles to keep the upper hand. You go to knee him, but he moves quicker, slotting one of his legs between your own and pressing his body against yours to pin you completely against the wall.

then, something changes. he pauses, the close proximity seems to have finally registered in his brain. his eyes widen and you pause too, both panting, faces inches apart. his grip loosens, and a flicker of confusion crosses his features.

“wait, what’s-“

“shut up,” you snap suddenly. before you even realize what you’re doing, your hands are on his chest, and you’re shoving him towards your bed.

“take off your shirt,” you command as the back of his knees hit the mattress and he’s falling backwards. he quickly does as you say, looking up at you with wide eyes as you straddle him and rip your own shirt off as well. he mumbles a nice when he sees you’re not wearing a bra. you reach to tug off the sweatpants you had on, and as soon as you can kick them away Adam’s hands are on your waist and flipping you over. He hurriedly rips off the rest of his clothes before he’s back on you, leaning down to eagerly press kisses down your neck. you have to tilt your head to make room for the horns now permanently attached to his head, and you think of the irony of this situation.

the sound of fabric ripping followed immediately by two of his fingers finding your clit makes you gasp. you bite back a whimper as he begins to rub rough and sloppy circles on your clit. the pleasure doesn’t last long before he’s pulling his hand back, only to shove a finger inside your cunt quickly, and you gasp again. being so unprepared, the stretch burns a bit. fuck, has he always had such big hands? he’s gentle at first, as he works the single finger in and out of you, and once the pain subsides, he quickly adds a second one.

“Oh, fuck,” you can’t help the curse that slips past your lips, and before long you’re rocking your hips against his hand. his movements are rushed and sloppy, impatient as he stretches you out. he chuckles dryly, and you shoot him a glare.

once again, before long, he’s pulling away, and grabbing you by the shoulders to make you sit up with him. you whine involuntarily at the loss of contact, and the cocky bastard laughs again.

“So impatient, babe,” He grins.

“Shut up,” You say again, pushing him so that he’s sitting up against the bed frame. You crawl over to him, and straddle his lap. His hands find your ass, groping it roughly while you grab the base of his cock and align the tip with your entrance.

You both gasp in unison when you swiftly lower yourself to take his full length. A strangled moan escapes from your lips and you let your head fall forward to rest on his shoulder. Eyes squeezed shut, you wait so you can adjust to his size. Seriously, how had you never noticed how big he was before now? Prematurely, Adam angles his hips and suddenly thrusts up into you, making you cry out in pain and pleasure.

“Oh you like that, bitch? Huh?” He says teasingly, running his hands up and down your back before moving his hips again.

“You have seriously got to learn to be quiet,” You retort through gritted teeth, reaching up to pull his hair from the roots. He lets out a groan, followed by a more pathetic whine as you begin to move on his length.

It must be all the pent up emotion, because you’re very quickly unable to speak beyond a few curses and wanton moans. Adam however, can’t seem to stop talking. Mumbling about how good you feel- for a whore, how he didn’t think you’d be so tight, how you’re so fucking sexy he wishes he’d done this sooner.

“Ugh, Adam- shut up!” You groan as you move desperately. He whines as you pull his hair again for emphasis, biting his lip as you feel his hips snap up into yours.

“Oh, god-“ You’re squealing, back arching as you can feel your whole body tense. You’re on top, but as you grow more limp, he’s holding you upright as he roughly fucks into you. “I’m close!” You warn, and it comes out a strangled sob.

You’re so, so close. Euphoria clouds your brain, and collapse onto him as he continues to hold you up to thrust into you.

You fall backwards, and Adam follows, caging you underneath him as he chases his own release now.

“oh- fuck- don’t stop!” You’re practically screaming as your orgasm crashes over you, and you wrap your arms around and claw at Adam desperately, fingernails leaving marks on his fleshy back. You only faintly register the breathless laugh he lets out at your state as he now pounds into you.

He slams into you with an intensity that forces the air out of your lungs, and even Adam can’t form thoughts or speak anymore.

“Oh, fu-uuck, fuck, fuck, oh my god,” He can’t believe the noises that are coming from him, but he also can’t find it in himself to care when you feel this good. You’re so sensitive, and still tight from your previous climax, and he can feel your pulse in the walls of your cunt as you clench around him.

Pleasure quickly turns to overstimulation, and you moan his name again, reaching up to pull at his hair, horns, wings, anything, as tears begin to prick at your eyes. Hearing you moan his name, seeing the look on your face, knowing he’s the one doing this to you is what he needed to send him over the edge.

“o-oh my god-“ he groans, hips stuttering as he presses his body as close to yours as possible, spilling his cum deeply inside of you with an actual moan.

He stays still for a moment, both of your breathing labored, sweat making your hair stick to your foreheads and necks, but you stay holding eachother. While both your brains are still fuzzy, thoughts muddled from the aftershocks, he takes a hand up and wipes your hair away from your face, and the tears from your eyes.

Eventually, he sits up and pulls out of you, rolling over to lay next to you on the bed. Neither of you say anything, too fucked out to think of the repercussions from your actions.

[partycatty]

dilf!johnny cage > to heal

how it goes when reader dates older johnny following the loss of sonya

warnings: grief, age gap, mentions of sex but no smut written

notes: i want to gnaw on dilf johnny until he is nothing but bones. it is for that reason that this post is LONG. yappasaurus rex over here.

masterlist <3

•first of all mk11 was so bad at covering the grief of a man losing the mother of his child

•then again that also implicates that johnny is really, really good at hiding his emotions, especially around the people he's meant to be stoic around. i wouldn't necessarily cry in front of a thunder god or cryomancer either. and i'd try to keep it together for my kid.

•regardless, johnny falls into a deep, DEEP depression that eats away at him. he should have been there on that mission. he should've canceled that ninja mime shooting and spent one more day with his family before it was completely wrecked. and he'll tell himself this every time he looks at cassie's empty eyes. he stays sober, for her, but god does he wish he could just feel nothing sometimes.

•johnny stays smiles and jokes, but as soon as he closes the door to his sleeping quarters, all he can do is blankly stare ahead. damn him and his acting skills. he wants people to check up on him, but it's just so... hard to express his pain.

•some time passes and he considers himself recovered, but every time he sees his daughter excel in training or lips smile in the way sonya's did... god.

•imagine his surprise when his own daughter asks him to get back into the dating scene. cassie says something along the lines of "you're a sad old fart that needs a woman to get him off of the couch."

•cassie's right, unfortunately. johnny let his stubble grow in and hair grow increasingly wild. he didn't carry himself as well as he once did, which was especially worrying to those who saw him as the confident, sharp, charismatic character.

•johnny declines to his daughter, finding the conversation kind of off-putting. but, on a late tuesday, he decides "fuck it" and sets up a bumble profile while sitting on the classic leather dad recliner in the living room. the one thing he forgot to do? set an age range.

•so he's a little taken aback when a 29 year old you is the third person he swiped to. instinctively, he thought to swipe left on you, but curiosity got the better of him. he read your profile and realized you sounded incredibly mature and had the same interests as him. covering his mouth and holding his phone with the other, he swipes... right, feeling an immediate intense guilt.

•he doubted you'd match with him, but as soon as he swipes, a big "IT'S A MATCH!" covers his phone screen and he lets out an audible gasp, tightening his grip on his face. he then gets a twinge of embarrassment for himself. was he seriously flipping his shit over his first match on a mobile dating app? yes.

•johnny spends a good long while staring at the screen, wondering if you'd even message him. after all, men couldn't message first on the app. what if she thinks he's too old? what if it was an accidental swipe? what if...

•NEW MESSAGE! "hiii :)" johnny swallows, afraid to open the message. what would he say? what should he say? does bumble have read receipts? would you notice he opened your message and stared for several minutes?

•he settles on "hello, how are you?" it's been a while since he's had to genuinely flirt with interest, so he opens cordially. johnny was a charmer for sure, but this time he was playing for keeps, not just for fun. he also, unlike his younger version he met some time ago, wants to take his time.

•you two chat back and forth, and while you acknowledge to him that he is indeed a celebrity (and how hilariously stupid it was that he was on a public dating site), you express no real concern over it. you mention to him that you want to see him as a man and not a character. the deeper conversation of dealing with the spotlight could come another time, as johnny didn't want to scare you away.

•you two text for a lot longer than most matches on bumble. johnny's honestly terrified of meeting up in person. he wants to be so incredibly sure that it's you he wants to meet up with. he forgot to keep swiping, even. he was so fixated on getting to know you. he felt weird talking to multiple women on the app, since he was so used to married life.

•he can't bring himself to ask you on a real date, so you two settle on a friendly coffee chat. he shaves, gets a trim, and for the first time in a long time, stresses about wearing the right things. he even calls cassie and asks if he should wear shirt A or shirt B, but was very keen on redacting your age from the conversation. that was something he was afraid to disclose to her.

•what was this man so afraid of?? you are a SWEETHEART. you're so incredibly mature, have more "vintage" interests and asked so many questions, leaning in to listen. johnny didn't feel the need to perform, in fact, he found himself... with butterflies. he death-gripped his coffee to hide the fact that his fingers were trembling.

•one coffee chat turns into two, and then three, four, and eventually, he feels okay enough to plan a real date. his heart was swelling with excitement, a new warmth in his chest. you were so effortlessly patient and kind with him, never asking for anything of him besides his time.

•he plans a dinner date, squeezing you two into a lavish restaurant that he wouldn't have been able to get into if he wasn't a celebrity. he didn't want to overwhelm you with his money and fame, but god did he want to do this right. even though the topic of money was something you never thought to consider with him, he still wanted to show off at least a little bit. it's just in his character!

•there, he starts to come out of his shell a bit more. he starts flirting back, and you two hold hands across the table, intense eye contact as you converse freely.

•johnny takes a sip of his drink, looking down. but when he looks back up, he notices you admiring him with your sweet young eyes. and it's here that he realizes just how much you've revitalized him. he springs out of bed with a smile. you're the last thought in his mind before he falls asleep. when he is with cassie, he can't stop thinking about how much you two would get along.

•which, by the way, johnny is so incredibly sure to remind you that he has a daughter that's your age. you pause and think, trying to articulate your thoughts on the awkward circumstance.

•"i understand that it may be a little uncomfortable for her and the last thing i want is to drive a wedge between you and your daughter. you speak highly of her and i deeply admire that. i perfectly understand that she comes before me."

•johnny stops himself from tearing up. you're... just so kind. you're perfect.

•after the ninth date, he decides that he's ready to go back to your place. it's a quaint apartment, and it's there that you both make the conscious decision to have sex.

•it's slow and sweet, he's murmuring praises into your bare skin as he takes his time exploring a new body. older johnny takes his time with sex unlike his younger days. he needs to appreciate your beauty, complimenting every feature on your body. you're so divine.

•"such a pretty girl..." he whisper-groans above you, strong hands holding your hips in place with a passionate firmness.

•over the next couple months, he's still working toward officially calling you his girlfriend. a new partner in his life scares him, even if you make all of that tension disappear when you're around. it's just a lot to ask of a man to take that new step again.

•biting the bullet, he asks you at your doorstep holding a cheesily large bouquet, having to glance over it to get a proper look at you. you smile sweetly, nodding and immediately accepting in that gentle voice. you knew how much this meant to him to make things official.

•cassie eventually gets the chance to meet you, as her father brings you along to a holiday party with the family. it's... it's a little weird, she won't lie. i mean, it's just weird in general to see your dad with someone that isn't your mom. that's something that naturally needs time to adjust to. and your age isn't something she can avoid discussing.

•she doesn't hate you. she actually finds you quite enjoyable to be around! she's just a little uneasy that you're her age. but, after a long, long talk full of tears and reassuring words, cassie realizes she can learn to accept you being with her dad. i mean, she sees what you do to him.

•that sparkle in his puppy-dog brown eyes is back, and he just can't stop being engulfed by your presence. a hand is always on the small of your back, a grin always plastered on his face, and eyes are always locked onto you when you're doing the most mundane of tasks. he's chirpier, and people even joke that he seems as active as he was in his younger years. you got the old man's rusty gears turnin'!

•he loves you. he didn't realize he could do that again.

[haveatthee83]

The Princess and her Fool (Buggy D. Clown/Reader) 2/4

Inspo: BABY SAID-MÅNESKIN & @sordidmusings Tender Love and Care

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Word Count: ~9.7k

Warnings: SMUT!! MINORS DNI, cursing, insecurity, cunnilingus, oral, irresponsible use of devil fruits, overstimulation, multiple orgasms.

A/N: MÅNESKIN is Buggy coded, no I won't elaborate, all chapters are inspired by different MÅNESKIN songs. Also, absolutely read the linked fic, @sordidmusings is an ICONIC writer with amazing fics. @fanaticsnail as well. They're actually the reason I started posting on Tumblr at all, so all the love for and to them. ❤️❤️❤️

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Buggy hated the bag. The fuckin itchy ass bag those asshole Straw-Hats kept him in when they decided his jokes weren’t very entertaining anymore, between navigation attempts. It smelled, it rubbed against the skin of his nose in a way that made him hate it more than he already did, and worst of all, it made it so he didn’t even have the peace of looking around at his surroundings to distract him from the pain of Arlong’s pirates’ darts games. The only reprieve he got from the irritating fabric was when you were on “Clown Watch”.

            You had taken it upon yourself to make sure Buggy(‘s head) was well cared for and comfortable. You had no good reason to do so, logically speaking. He’d been awful to you and your friends not too long ago. He was a ruthless, horrid pirate captain who would be immediately put to death by the government if he ever crossed a Marine’s path. His own parents didn’t want anything to do with him just for being born. It’s not like you even remember him. You didn’t even realize he’s your childhood friend, Peacock. And yet…here you were. Doting on him.

            “Now,” you started, still facing away from Buggy, running your mop over the wooden planks of the ship’s deck, “I know this is pretty boring, but I gotta just finish this section, then we can get some lunch! I heard Sanji’s making hot sandwiches and lemonade. I’ll make sure to snag you some too, okay?”

Buggy blinked at you from his perch on his barrel for a moment, just taking you in. You were humming, swaying with the rocking waves, the sun beating down onto your exposed shoulders over your tank top. Your smile was small, but content as you eyed the planks below you attentively.

‘Does she actually think I give a shit that it’s boring to watch someone mop? I’m outside. I can breathe clearly. That’s already miles ahead of the norm.’ Buggy thought.

“That-that’s alright Doll…” he said, swallowing the rest of his thoughts.

You immediately sensed that something was wrong, eyeing Buggy over your shoulder with a piercing glare, “What’s wrong, Buggy?” he tried to sputter out an excuse or something to get you to drop it. You did no such thing, fully turning around to face him, coming up to the barrel he sat on and crouched down to his level. Unrelated but relevant-to him, this gave Buggy a perfect eye full of your chest under your tank top. “Uh-uh. You haven’t made any jokes in like thirty minutes. No raunchy comments about my ass when I was turned around, no comments about the ‘shitty cook’? Nothing. Are you okay?” you said genuinely, perching your hands on the rim of the barrel in front of Buggy.

‘Your ass does look great in those shorts.’ Buggy thought.

Buggy swallowed, scowling at you, “I’m fine, Doll face,” you frowned, holding his gaze like you were trying to read his mind.

“People who are fine don’t act like completely different people out of nowhere.” You scolded, wagging a finger in Buggy’s face. “Do you have a fever or something? Are you getting too hot?” you asked, automatically reaching a hand toward Buggy’s forehead, only stopping short by a centimeter, “Is it…can I feel your forehead, Buggy?” you asked.

Buggy felt heat rising to his face, his ears burning, “You can, but I feel fine.”

Your frown returned, having just melted off of your face. You rolled your eyes and huffed, “Men.” You muttered under your breath, gently laying your warm hand on Buggy’s forehead. Buggy had to actively stop himself from sighing into your touch, setting his jaw. You scanned his face, brows furrowed. “You do feel kinda warm…” you trailed off, looking at the spotless floors around you, weighing something out in your mind. After a moment, you nodded resolutely and stood straight, eyes never leaving Buggy’s face for long. “Let’s go inside. We can stay in my room for the afternoon. I don’t think the ship will sink if I don’t re-mop one little corner.” You say, gently taking Buggy into your hands, minding his face.

You settle him against your torso, facing forwards as you walk towards the kitchen. As you carefully swing open the kitchen door, finding Sanji hard at work, a pile of grilled sandwiches building up higher and higher next to him. Buggy heard and felt you giggle a bit, “Busy, Sanji?” you jest, setting Buggy down onto the counter.

“Never too busy for you, mon cher,” Sanji purred, continuing to produce sandwiches at an almost concerning pace, “Luffy’s going to eat through this stack in less than a minute, and I’m still trying to gauge how much I should be making for him.” Sanji chuckled as he turned his head, looking at you over his shoulder.

You smiled, shaking your head at your captain’s antics, all the while reaching up to a cabinet just above Buggy’s head, the fabric of your tank top riding up and brushing his face, his wide eyes able to drink in the expanse of skin that was revealed. Buggy clenched his jaw and tried to suppress the heat that was rising to his ears.

You found what you were looking for, two glasses. That didn’t help Buggy’s predicament at all, he’s hopelessly not used to being taken care of, thought of, or helped…at all. By a pretty girl who laughed at his jokes? EVEN LESS.

“Where’d you put the lemonade, Sanji?” you asked, resting the glasses next to Buggy.

“Oh, right over here.”

“Great!” you reached over and found the large jug of cool liquid and brought it back over to Buggy, pouring the glasses full to the brim. You paused as you set it down, eyeing Buggy closely. Buggy could almost feel himself beginning to sweat, ‘maybe she’s realizing I’m not good enough for all of this.’ Just as the thought entered his mind, you beamed, an idea popping into your head. You quickly opened a drawer right beneath Buggy and grabbed something, you eyed Buggy with a mischievous grin and tucked the item into your back pocket. Buggy tried to question you, his brow cocking up when you interrupted him, leaning to his eye level and whispering, eyeing Sanji. “How hungry are you? I can grab a few extra sandwiches if you want. Sanji lets girls get away with a lot more than the boys.” You said, your hand cupped next to your mouth, trying to minimize any sound heading Sanji’s way.

Buggy felt that heat rising in his face again, “You-you don’t have to do that for me, Doll! Seriously” he sputtered, trying his best to keep his voice down.

You rolled your eyes and flicked Buggy’s ear as you stood back up, immediately walking over to Sanji’s side, grabbing a plate. “Could I grab a few extra sandwiches, Sanji?” you asked, resting your free hand onto his forearm. Buggy could see the tips of Sanji’s ears go red. “They look delicious, and I was hoping to get some for my night watch tonight, you know, before Luffy eats them all?” you giggled, subtly leaning into Sanji’s space that little bit more. Buggy was suppressing a frown when you eyed him over Sanji’s shoulder with a grin and a little wink.

‘Ah, flirting as a means to an end.’ Buggy kind of figured that’s what you were doing, but seeing you being flirty with someone other than him had his teeth grinding.

“Anything for you, mon cher,” Sanji proclaimed, serving you up four sandwiches fresh out of the pan. “Let me know if you need anything else.” He purred. You smiled and voiced your thanks, giving Sanji a quick hug, rushing Buggy’s way. Sanji was too distracted by your hug to notice you whipping out of the room, feet pattering down the hall.

You set Buggy down onto your bed, resting him onto your plush pillow. “Sanji’s a great cook, but that little flirt is barking up all the wrong trees,” you giggled, “he’s way too young for me, and of course Nami is not into it.” With a grin, you slid a crate you had been using as a side table over toward your bed, resting the food and drinks onto it. After setting it down you stood up and stretched your sore muscles, a chorus of pops and cracks coming from your joints. You sighed at the feeling.

Buggy watched you, peering at you from his position on your pillow. His eyes raked over your figure, resting onto the bare skin of your legs, and finding the small side string of your bikini peaking over the hem of your shorts. Buggy swallowed dryly, trying to stop staring like some perv, but he honestly felt like he couldn’t. Because that’s when his eyes laid rest on your face, your eyes closed, your lashes brushing your cheeks. Your soft lips parted just slightly. In that moment, Buggy felt like he might have found the most beautiful thing the whole ocean had to offer. Buggy didn’t want to leave you in a few days. He wanted you to come with him. He wanted a lot of things with you, but…he knew he needed to see you more. Being cut off cold turkey after days full of little moments where he’s been the happiest that he’s been since Gol D. Roger? That might destroy him.

“So, I was thinking lunch, then I need a bath, then we can read more of our book together or something if you want.” You said, rolling out your neck. Your eye cracked open at his silence and your brow furrowed. You eyed Buggy, coming to take a seat on your bed, taking Buggy in your hands as you adjusted yourself to sit comfortably. When you settled, you sat Buggy back on your pillow and frowned. “What’s wrong, Buggy?” you asked, carefully moving a piece of hair out of his face, tucking it behind his ear.

Honestly? Buggy was out of funny things to say. There was nothing funny about the way you made him feel.

Buggy sighed, “I don’t know, Doll. It’s hard to explain.” He said, and you couldn’t help but notice he wouldn’t meet your eye.

“If you don’t want to talk about it…is there something I can do to make it better? Easier?” you asked, “I’m here to help you, okay Bugs?” you said with a smile, your hand reaching out to hold the side of his face. Buggy leaned into your hand without thinking, stiffening when he realized what he’d done. But…when he looked up at your face, you were just smiling. You held the most genuine smile he’d seen in years. “Here, let’s eat.” You said, stroking Buggy’s cheek with your thumb before taking your hand back, grabbing one of the glasses of lemonade.

Buggy couldn’t help but huff out a laugh, “How am I gonna drink that? I’m gonna get lemonade all over your bed.”

Your grin only widened as you reached behind you and produced from your back pocket…a bendy straw. Buggy’s eyebrows drew together in just sheer confusion. Confusion about how he got here, what he could have done to deserve this. To deserve you. And frankly, he was drawing a blank.

A gentle tink of the straw disturbing the ice in the glass made Buggy come to. You giggled a bit as you lowered the glass to Buggy’s level, holding the straw still for him. Buggy only hesitated for a heartbeat before (metaphorically) shrugging and taking a long sip from the straw. The lemonade was good, perfectly tart, not too sweet, and ice cold. How long had it been since he had lemonade?

“Alright, for the sandwiches, do you want me to rip them up or just hold it for you?” you asked, swapping the lemonade for the plate of sandwiches.

Buggy found himself stuttering again, “What-whatever’s easier for you, I guess.” He muttered. You nodded and grabbed one of the sandwich halves, minding your fingers against the hot fillings. You carefully ripped off a corner, holding it out to Buggy as you took a bite of the larger piece. Buggy carefully took the sandwich piece in his mouth, trying not to spook you by accidentally brushing his lips against your fingers.

As Buggy chewed on his meal, he thought to himself, ‘Wait…would…would she mind?’ Buggy had this funny little thing about him. He was a bit of a failure…but he was always failing up. He could stub his toe on a rock and by doing that, break a 100-year curse and get three wishes. So…maybe if he takes a little chance…fuck it.

“Damn that blond can cook.” You mutter, taking another bite of the sandwich half in your hand. After you took a bite, you ripped off another chunk of the sandwich and held it out for Buggy. Buggy couldn’t help but snort out a little laugh at your awe. You were right, they were damn good sandwiches, but your reaction completely caught him off guard.

You whipped your head to lock eyes onto Buggy’s. You hadn’t heard him laugh all day, and you realized in that moment that it was probably your favorite sound. “Eat your damned food, Buggy.” You said, thrusting the food closer to his face with a chuckle. Buggy complied with a grin, biting into it a bit too far, his lips brushing your fingertips as he pulled it away from your grasp. You physically stuttered at the feeling, your hand freezing in place, and you could feel warmth rushing your face. Buggy watched your face through his lashes, drinking in your flustered expression, a little pit of fear in his chest, miles away, but you didn’t leave. You didn’t yell, grimace, or smack him. You just stared for a moment. When you realized you were just sitting there like an idiot, you blinked yourself out of your stupor, shaking your head and handing him the rest of the sandwich half.

Buggy was feeling brave, a little high on your reactions. That’s why when you handed him the last bit, he decided to take a rather large bite. A bite big enough that his teeth nipped at your fingertips. You gasped, taking your hand back before flicking his ear, “No biting.” You hissed.

“No promises,” Buggy teased, a smirk spreading across his face. You sighed and grabbed another sandwich half, the rest of your lunch full of little nips and reprimands.

“I need a bath, Bugs.” You said, rifling through your drawers to find some fresh clothes.

Buggy huffed, “So? Why does that mean I have to deal with that moody-“ you cut him off with a deadpan stare. “I won’t look!” he insisted.

“And I should believe the infamous pirate captain, why?” you asked standing in front of him with your new outfit and a towel in your arms.

“Aww, you think I’m famous?” Buggy grinned. You crossed your arms and set your hip to the side, a pointed glare on your face. Buggy deflated a bit, eyeing the floor, “Come on, Starshine. I don’t wanna go back in the bag.” He muttered.

He saw you tense in his peripherals before dropping to your knees in front of him, taking his head in your hands, stroking his cheeks with your thumbs. Buggy lifted his gaze to lock with your concerned eyes, “Do you…” you hesitated, clearing your throat, “I can ask if you can…just stay with me when you aren’t navigating.” You murmured, eyes searching his face for-something. What? Buggy had no idea.

Buggy’s eyes widened, “You don’t have to-“

“I want to.”

“You’d put up- “

“With what? Listening to jokes that make me laugh and keeping good company?”

“I’m not-“

“I’m asking.” You said firmly, “Don’t try anything stupid, I’ll be right back.” You said, and that’s when it happened. On reflex, without even thinking about it, like it was as natural as breathing, you rested your lips against Buggy’s hairline. It was quick, barely a peck, but it was enough. You rushed out of the room, “ZORO! LUFFY!” you called out, the sound of your voice and foot falls fading as you reached the end of the hallway.

Buggy felt like he was on fire, like every nerve in his body was lit up and buzzing with electricity. ‘You…you kissed me!’ he thought. ‘Me?! Buggy D. Clown?! You kissed me, and you’re about to ask…to spend more time with me?’ Buggy was dead, that had to be the answer. He was dead and had bribed his way into heaven. You were an angel sent to create his paradise. Well, maybe not. His paradise would probably include the rest of his body, and…other activities. Maybe you were just that amazing. Maybe you saw a pitiful, bodyless pirate captain with a big red nose and thought he deserved kindness. Thought he was a person worthy of your attention and affection. Maybe you…liked him.

“Okay, so,” you started, heaving the door to your room open, “You’re stuck with me now.” You said, walking toward where he sat on your pillow, “But, I had to take some extra night watches, so you better keep me company.” You chuckled, picking up your clothes and towel, rifling through drawers to find something.

“What are you doing, Doll?” Buggy asked as you gently lifted him up into your arms, heading out the door.

“I need a bath.” You said simply.

“Right.”

“You really are acting weird, Buggy. You haven’t been joking much at all today. You’ve only laughed like once all day!” You whispered, making your way through the halls to the bathroom.

“I’m fine-“

“Bullshit.” You said, pushing into the small bathroom. You gently rested Buggy onto the edge of the tub, turning on the water. “You have been weird all day! And not the good kind!” you insisted, testing the temperature.

“I have-“ God, could Buggy complete one sentence around you. He cut himself off as he saw you begin to take your tank top over your head. “Wha-what are you doing?!” Buggy exclaimed, unable to suppress the red rush of heat coming into his face.

You tossed the shirt to the side, unbuttoning your shorts, “Getting ready for a bath?” you giggled, pulling the shorts down your legs. Buggy unabashedly eyed your body, now only covered by a small, tie string bikini. He watched as you bent over to grab the shorts off where it had caught on your foot, the way you were reaching down squeezing your breasts together in such a way that made Buggy somewhat glad that his body was miles away. “I’ll keep the bikini on, so you don’t have to leave,” you said, suddenly bashful as you wrapped your arms around your middle.

“Well, don’t feel like you have to on my account.” Buggy muttered, to which you narrowed your eyes and walked over to the tub.

“Feeling better, Buggy?” you teased, stepping into the bath, lowering yourself into the warm water with a sigh.

“Might feel even better without that bikini in the way.” He chuckled.

You smiled and rolled your eyes, turning off the water as the bath was full. Buggy watched you as you dunked your head back and under the water, and he couldn’t help but feel a pang of envy at your complete lack of fear in the sloshing liquid. ‘Fucking Shanks.’

When you rose back out of the water, you brushed your hair out of your face and rubbed the water out of your eyes. “Would you like me to wash your hair? Maybe get that makeup off your face? Little refresh?” you said, squeezing water out of your hair.

Buggy eyes the water cautiously, “I don’t know, Doll face. You know how water and devil fruits don’t mix.”

Your eyes softened as you reached up, moving some hair from his face that had fallen in all the excitement. “I’ll keep you safe.” You whispered, gently caressing his face.

Buggy swallowed dryly, but nodded, “You let me drown and I’ll bite you.” He said as you grinned.

“Deal!” you said, reaching over the edge of the tub to find a wide, smooth plank of wood, placing it across the tub in front of you. You grabbed Buggy and put him onto the plank, gauging his reaction, “Is this okay? I thought it might be better than just putting you into the water.” Buggy nodded, again feeling lost for words at your thoughtfulness. “Okay, great! Do you mind if I take off your bandana now?” you asked, fingers brushing over the fabric.

“Kinda hard to wash my hair with it on, eh Doll?”

“I just…don’t want to do anything without your permission, Buggy. It must be so…disarming to be just a head, I mean, the boys are always man handling you without asking, so…I want to always make sure I don’t do that.” You explained, studying his face.

“God dammit.” Buggy hissed, “That’s my problem, Doll!” he exclaimed.

You furrowed your brow, setting your hands back in your lap under the water. “What?”

Buggy huffed, overwhelmed and trying to find the words, “You-you’re just so…Why do you-what did I. Ugh! Why are you so nice to me?!” Buggy finally spat out. Your expression softened again as you reached back up, holding his face with one of your hands. “You’re so-so nice, and pretty, and you laugh at my jokes, even if they suck-and you-you think of everything all the time! Like the bendy straw and just this stupid wood thing! You knew I was afraid of water so you-you made sure to get this so you could still help me! I just don-“ God, one sentence.

You cut Buggy off by picking him up, still chattering away and bringing your lips to his own, a soft, quick peck, but it was enough. You drew him back just a bit, enough for him to tell you to fuck off if he so pleased, but he didn’t.

“Oh.” Buggy huffed, locking his eyes on yours. “I didn’t think you’d…” Buggy trailed off as you drew him back into another embrace, your lips pressing against his in a gentle pressure that he returned, his lips moving hesitantly against yours. You moved in synch as your fingers nimbly moved Buggy’s bandana off, seeking his hair between your fingers. Just as Buggy was thinking about venturing further, his tongue just about to flick across yours, you pulled him back, pure adoration in your gaze.

“I like you, Buggy. A lot.” You said, “I thought you were funny and pretty when I first saw you but…getting to know you while I’ve been on ‘Clown Watch’.” You giggled at the name, resting Buggy back onto the plank of wood, “I’ve come to like you as a person. You make me…feel safe. You make me laugh, you’re one of the most quick-witted people I’ve ever met, and well-I just…I think about you all the time. I think about how you’re doing,” you continued, picking up a cup and laying Buggy back, wetting his hair, “I think about what kind of things you like. I think about if you…really even like me at all or if you just put up with me.” You trailed off, grabbing the bottle of shampoo from next to you. You kept your gaze on his hair as you knelt up to reach his scalp, the smell of passionfruit and something floral invading his senses.

Buggy was perplexed, you of all people thought Buggy might not like being around you. You’re wonderful! “Why the fuck would you think that?” Buggy exclaimed, startling you a bit.

“I don’t know…people don’t really…like me like that.” You muttered, a sad look on your face. “I’m never the prettiest or the smartest or the funniest in a group. There’s just always someone better. Like Nami. She’s gorgeous, and I’m-I’m pretty normal.” You continued massaging the aromatic soap into his scalp, your nails gently scratching the skin occasionally.

“I think that’s bullshit.” Buggy muttered, his eyes scanning your face as you still refused to look at him. “I think you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I love just listening to you talk, and you’re the nicest person I’ve met. You’re pretty flashy if you ask me.” He said resolutely, closing his eyes, like that would make you incapable of arguing with him.

“Are you just being nice?” you asked after a while, running the cup of water over his hair, gently coaxing out the suds.

Buggy’s eyes snapped open at that,“Look at me.” You still only kept your eyes on your work, He whispered your name, not some Doll or some other nickname, your government name, causing your eyes to snap to his, wide with fear, “I like you too. More than you know. You’re the best thing to happen to me in a long time, and it’s only been a few days. I-I’m dreading finding Arlong and that tangerine girl, cause that means…I probably won’t see you again.” He confessed, eyes searching yours.

Your eyes welled up a bit as you poured conditioner into your hand, running it through the lengths of his hair, the same passion fruit scent wafting over him. “I know. I-I try not to think about it.” You whispered, grabbing the cup and rinsing the slick soap from his ends.

“You could come with me.” Buggy muttered, it was so quiet you could have mistaken it for the wind.

You smiled softly, setting Buggy back up on his neck, squeezing his long hair out, “I wish I could. Really. I do.” You said, your eyes pricking with tears, threatening to fall.

“Why can’t you?”

“I made a promise. A vow. To Luffy. I can’t leave him until I…find something.” You grabbed a soft rag from your pile of stuff and sat back properly, soaking the fabric.

“What do you need to find?” Surely you could find it with Buggy.

Your eyes darkened a bit as you brought the rag up to Buggy’s face, gently running it along his skin. “It’s hard to explain, I don’t think you’d understand.”

“Try me.” You set your jaw and seemed to search Buggy’s face, analyzing every little movement and twitch.

“I’m looking for my father’s Devil Fruit.” You whispered, running the rag over Buggy’s forehead.

Buggy’s brows pinched together, “Why the fuck would you want that?” he asked, you didn’t even pause your motions, still slowly cutting through Buggy’s makeup.

“I need to eat it so I can carry on his line. I’m his only child, and that fruit has been passed down in our family since Devil Fruits first came around. When he died,” you started, ignoring Buggy’s bewildered expression, “Marines raided his funeral. His funeral, Buggy! In my family, the funeral also is the ceremony where the next in line eats the fruit. Just as I was about to take it, the Marines came and…and killed the rest of my family. They killed my mother. When they escaped, I chased them down the dock and stole someone’s boat. I had no chance of finding them, but I tried. Luffy found me stranded in the middle of the East Blue on that little boat, no provisions or anything, in my torn up ceremonial gown, sun burnt to hell and back. He brought me on without question and helped me get better. When I was better and I told him what happened, he promised to help me find it. I promised to stay with his crew and help him until we do, then I’d go on my own way, find my own path.”

“Do you know which Marines have it?”

“No, but we heard it was relocated to Loguetown.” You said, wiping one final stripe against Buggy’s skin. “We’re going there next after we find Nami. It’s on the way to the Grand Line anyways.”

“Which fruit is it?” Buggy asked as you set the rag down, going back to grab the shampoo for yourself.

As you spoke you ran the soap through your hair, “It’s not very well known, since we’ve kept it safe all these years. So, you might not know it. It’s called the Kaku Kaku no Mi. The paint paint fruit. It makes it so whatever you paint manifests in real life. I paint a cat, a cat appears. I paint a ship, a ship appears. It works best with inanimate objects but can create golem like living things. It could be used in many corrupt ways, so we’ve kept it in the family and have worked for generations to keep it from the government. And I go and mess it all up in one little raid. I should have been able to fight them back. Protect the fruit. But I didn’t.” you said resolutely, dunking your head under the water, just enough to submerge your hair.

“You couldn’t have fought off a whole marine raid on your own, Doll.” Buggy muttered.

“I should have done something.” You said.

You spent the rest of the bath in relative silence, Buggy making a few quips to try and break the tension, unsuccessfully. When you finished, you pulled the plug and rose out of the water, pulling your towel around your body before reaching down to grab another towel you had brought to wrap around Buggy’s now clean head. ‘You even brought me my own towel? What the fu-‘

“I’ll keep your face hidden so the boys don’t see you without your makeup.” You muttered, everything you needed gathered in your arms. You sighed as you held Buggy against your torso, making sure his towel was securely hiding his face. “I know it’s hard not having it on. I can redo it before night watch,”

Buggy rested his head against you fully, “You’re too damned nice, Doll.” He whispered, watching the light change over and over again as you walked through the halls of the ship.

“Maybe your expectations are just too low, Buggy.” You whispered back, pushing your door open. When in your room, you rested Buggy on your dresser, his hair still dripping onto the towel below him. You put the rest of the stuff you held down onto the ground, turning back to Buggy with a small smile, “I’m gonna turn you around so I can change, okay, Bugs?” you muttered, stroking his cheek.

Buggy swallowed the lump in his throat, “Whatever you need, Beautiful.” He whispered, sighing as you gently turned Buggy’s face to the wall.

“I’ll try to be quick,” you muttered, the sound of you untying your swimsuit filling Buggy’s ears. “Incoming!” you exclaim with a giggle, and Buggy felt the wet slap of your bikini top hitting the back of his head.

Buggy sputtered out a laugh, “What was that for?”

You continued giggling and Buggy heard your feet patter up close behind him, the warmth of your body beating against his neck, “I was aiming for my laundry hamper. I missed.” You said, grabbing the top off of his head. “Sorry, Bugs.”

“Gimme a peek and all is forgiven, Doll face.” He snickered.

“Keep asking like that and I might,” you purred, suddenly right next to his ear, a gentle nip at one of his piercings.

Buggy felt his whole face light up immediately, “You’re killing me, Doll.” He whined. “I don’t even have hands right now.”

“I know…but you know what?” you said, still right behind the clown’s ear, “I wonder what you’d do if you did.” With that you shoved yourself away, the rustle of fabric harmonizing with your laughter.

Buggy called out your name, “You can’t just talk like that, Starlight.”

You grabbed Buggy and flipped him around on the dresser, facing you, fully dressed, “You want me to stop?” you asked, bottom lip between your teeth, inches away from his face.

“Never,” Buggy whispered. You grinned, leaning in and pressing your lips to his. The kiss was small and quick, but you pulled away with a smile. “Come on, pretty girl,”

“What?”

“You should rest up before your night watch.” He muttered, tilting his head toward your bed. “Don’t want you falling asleep on duty.” Buggy teased, smiling as you ran your fingers through his damp hair.

“On two conditions.” You giggle, drying his hair with his towel.

“Shoot.”

“One, you nap with me.”

“Done.”

“Two,” You start to laugh again, “you let me braid your hair when we wake up.”

Buggy furrowed his brow, incredulous, “You wanna do what?”

“Yeah! When we wake up, I’ll braid your hair and redo your makeup!” you explained, picking Buggy up and walking toward your bed. When you settled under the covers, you rested Buggy on your chest, still facing you. “Please?” Buggy squinted at you, unsure. “I’ll let you pick what we do during night watch!” you sing songed, nudging your nose against Buggy’s.

“Watch the nose,” he started, “But…deal.”

“I like your nose.” You whispered, a gleam in your eye.

“Bullshit.”

“Nuh-uh!”

“Yeah-huh!”

“I think it’s pretty. Just like the rest of you.” You ran your fingers over Buggy’s face, his soft lashes brushing against your fingertips. “You know, the first time I saw you, I know you were trying to hurt us, but…all I could think about was how-“

“Ugly I am?”

“Beautiful you are.” You and Buggy answered at the same time.

“You hit your head, Doll face?” he huffed. “Cause no one thinks this mug is beautiful. My own mother didn’t think this face was worth keeping around.”

You frowned, “You talk so poorly about yourself. I happen to think you’re the most beautiful, wonderful, flashy,” you add with a grin, “man I’ve ever met.”

Buggy opened his mouth to protest again, only for you to grab his face again and shift onto your side, resting his head against your pillow in front of your face.

“Sleep, Buggy.” With that, Buggy sighed and let his eyes droop closed, lulled to sleep by your steady breathing.

“You’re gonna poke my eye out, babe.” Buggy muttered.

You laughed, easing the pressure of the brush against his face, “I just really want to match it.” You said, holding up the wanted poster in your hand.

Resuming your ministrations, applying Buggy’s crossbones, Buggy couldn’t help but ask, “Why do you have that, anyway?”

You felt heat rise to your cheeks, “I saw it in this girl named Kaya’s village. I try to keep up with bounties, see if I have one yet, you know? When I was looking through them, I saw yours, nice bounty by the way, and I don’t know. I wanted to keep it. In honor of the first pirate that I ran into with Luffy, you know?” you eyed the paints at your side as you mutter, “It helped that you look kinda hot in your poster.” You said with a grin.

Buggy snorted a laugh, “You’d look great on a wanted poster, Doll.” He sighed under the cool feeling of the paints running across his skin, “Why don’t you have a bounty yet?”

“I haven’t been caught,” you chuckled. “I’ve had my fair share of hijinks and blown up Marine ships…” you trail off with a mischievous lilt to your voice. “They just don’t know it’s me. They’ll know after Loguetown, though. They might even know after we leave Arlong Park. One of the crew members that helped defeat one of the most prolific captains in the East Blue.” You said with a chuckle.

“Oh yeah, that’d get you a good one.” Buggy smirked.

You paused, gently resting your hands in your lap. “When you get your body back…” you trail off, finding your words. “Will you help us with Arlong or are you gonna go as soon as you can?” you asked, resuming your painting with a sigh.

“I don’t-“

“You can go.” You muttered, “You don’t have to help us, you know? You don’t owe us anything, and I know the boys aren’t exactly your favorite people. We can take care of ourselves. It’s okay.” Buggy’s brows pinched together, just as his mouth opened to respond, you rested your finger on his lips with a smile, “Seriously. It’s okay.”

As you turned to get more paint on your brush Buggy spoke, “Please come with me, Doll.”

Your motions stuttered, “You know I can’t, Buggy.” You whispered, adding the finishing touches.

“I don’t want to just go about my life like you don’t exist.”

You bit your lips, grabbing Buggy’s head and holding him to your eye level, “…wait for me?”

“Huh?”

“I’ll go with you, after I find my father’s fruit in Loguetown. Find me after, and I’ll go with you. I’ll follow you to the ends of the sea, all across the Grand Line, just…wait for me.”

“How would I know you found it?” he asked.

Your face broke out into a sly grin, “Keep an eye out for my bounty poster. You’ll know I found it when I’m smiling in my picture, smiling because I’ll know that I’m that much closer to being back with you.”

Buggy nodded, setting his jaw, “I’ll see what I can do, Doll.” He agreed, “But just know,” you cocked a brow, “I’m not a patient man.”

Your smile broke out wide across your face, giving Buggy a quick peck on the lips before setting him down in your lap, facing away from you, “Now let me braid your hair. I’m thinking two Dutch braids.”

When you finished your braiding, Buggy was two minutes from falling into a deep sleep, his eyes bleary and drooping closed. He only roused from his relaxation when you started tying his bandana back onto his head.

“Your hair is so nice, Bugs.” You muttered, running your hands along your handiwork. “The color is to die for.” You said, picking him up and putting him onto the crate next to you. You stood and gathered all of your belongings off of the floor, putting them away where they belong.

“You’re one to talk,” Buggy chuckled, “you’re probably the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”

You eyed Buggy over your shoulder, “You mean that?”

“Of course, Doll.” You felt yourself flush as you turned away and grabbed the book you and Buggy had been reading together, shoving it into your back pocket, before coming over to him and picking him up and making your way to the deck, heading to the crow’s nest. The setting sun painted the ship in pinks, oranges, and purples.

“Hey! Clown Lady!” you whipped around to where the voice came from, seeing Zoro in all his moody glory, striding toward you two.

“She has a name, moss head!” Buggy growled.

Zoro snarled, “Wasn’t talking to you, clown.”

You frowned, “He’s still a person, Zoro. Don’t be a dick.”

Zoro looked at you, bewildered, “I’m not touching that can of worms.” He muttered. “I need the clown. Sniper boy’s lost again.” He explained, reaching his hand out to take Buggy out of your arms, aiming for his bandana.

You frowned and turned your body away from Zoro’s grasp, beginning to walk to where Usopp sat at the helm, “I can take him, thanks.” Zoro blinked a few times, trying to process what just happened before shaking his head and following you.

“Hi, Usopp! Heard you needed Buggy’s help?” you said, resting Buggy against the railing next to the wheel.

“You need to be two clicks more to the East, now, let’s go, Doll face.” Buggy exclaimed, hoping to get back to your precious solitude for the last couple days you two had left.

“Woah, hold on!” Usopp called out, trying to adjust the steering accordingly, “How far out are we?”

“Should be the day after tomorrow.” Buggy muttered, “Can I go now? We were having fun, Pinocchio.” He said nodding toward you.

“Be nice.” You hissed, flicking Buggy’s ear.

He laughed with a wince, “I am nice.”

“I-I guess that’s all I need then.” Usopp said, trailing off, “You’ve never been so…succinct.”

Buggy rolled his eyes and nudged your arm, “Let’s go, I wanna read the next chapter.”

You chuckled and agreed, “We’ll be in the crow’s nest if you need us.” You trailed off as you pattered over to the mast.

“How are you gonna tell Luffy?” Usopp muttered.

Zoro frowned, “What?”

“She’s not staying. Not long at least.”

“What are you talking about?” Zoro’s eyes narrowed, his hand reflexively trying to rest on the hilts of his swords.

Usopp sighed, letting out a quiet chuckle, “They’re in love.” He said resolutely, “She won’t stay away from him long. She’ll go with him soon.”

Zoro grit his teeth as he thought about telling his captain that you would leave. “Maybe it’s not my place. Maybe she should tell him.”

“Maybe.”

“As the battle came to a close, the princess found herself heaving for breath, dragging her battered, armored body across corpses of men better than she, trying to find her beloved knight. Her eyes stung with tears as she called out to him-“ Buggy wasn’t listening. Well, he was, but not very closely. He was more focused on your face, watching as your eyes glimmered in the moonlight, as your face mimicked the mood of the passage you read. “-she screamed up to the heavens as she held her love in her arms, begging any god who’d listen to wake him. She was inconsolable when a figure approached her-“ Buggy’s eyes roamed over you further, taking in your smooth skin, lit up by the lantern you’d brought up with you to read. Buggy’s gaze traveled over the hills and valleys of your form, your soft lips, your nimble hands, every curve and edge he could soak in. His attention lingered around your plush legs, his mouth going a bit dry. You really were beautiful.

“What do you want to do when you find it?” Buggy’s voice shocked even him; he hadn’t thought about saying anything. You stopped your reading, eyeing the clown with furrowed brows. “I mean-like what do you wanna do with your life?”

You pursed your lips and sighed, “I’m getting asked about this a lot lately.” Nevertheless, you slid a bookmark into the book in your hand and set it aside, instead taking Buggy into your grasp, setting him against your raised knees. “It’s stupid.” You warned.

Buggy rolled his eyes with a smirk, “Try me.”

You wouldn’t meet his eyes, instead opting to look at your lantern, “I kinda…I want to,” you trailed off, heat rising to your face. Buggy just nodded in encouragement, “I want to perform.” You finally spat out, squinting your eyes closed. “I’m sure it sounds silly to you, Mister Ringleader. But I want to be a performer.”

Buggy’s brain practically short circuited, could you be more perfect? “Why would I think that’s ‘silly’?”

You shrugged, “I know it’s not just as easy as wanting to do it, I guess. I know it’s a lot of work. It must sound ridiculous hearing someone talk about doing it with no experience.” You explained, nervously fiddling with one of Buggy’s braids.

Buggy chuckled a bit, “No, Doll.” He started, glad to meet your big, beautiful eyes again, “I think it’s really cool that you want to be a performer. It’s…nice.” You gave Buggy a little smile, “What kind of act do you want to do?”

You giggled and shrugged again, “I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeves, but I don’t know what people would actually want to see”

“Lay it on me.”

“Huh?”

“Tell me whatcha got.”

Your face practically burned as you spoke, “Well, I learned how to fire breathe, I love acrobatics, I mean, that trapeze stuff is so fun,” you gushed, making Buggy’s heart warm, “I do a bit of dance, and I’m not a bad sword swallower, but I really like dagger throwing.”

“Yeah?” Buggy encouraged, “You sound like a little jack of all trades, don’t ya?”

You shrugged, “I had a weird upbringing. Traveled with my dad and ran into all sorts of people. I probably wouldn’t have learned half of it if it weren’t for these friends I had though.”

Buggy’s heart skipped a beat, “Who’s that?”

You beamed, “When I was fifteen, these two boys docked with their pirate crew on my island. I met them as soon as they touched ground, one of em was a right little shit and pissed me off. Tried flirting me up, so I clocked him.” You dissolved into giggles at the memory.

‘Fucking Shanks.’ Buggy thought.

“He tried fighting back, but I knocked him out cold!” Buggy smiled at the memory, “His buddy came up and tried to mediate the situation, I was so mad, I was ready to keep beating up his unconscious buddy. I only stopped and calmed down cause I thought he was cute, all worried and trying to fix things,” you giggled, making Buggy’s eyes widen. “He was awkward as all get-out, but he convinced me to chill. We sat around and talked while we waited for his buddy to wake up. When he did, we all agreed to hang out while they were there, I’d be their little tour guide and we’d have a ball together. It was so nice. They’re the ones who introduced me to performing at all.” You continued, still fiddling with Buggy’s braid, “The cute one taught me how to throw knives. He was so damned good at it too! I kept practicing all these years later in hopes that if I see him again, maybe I’d beat him in this little game we came up with. It’s basically darts but with knives.”

Buggy felt himself looking at you like you hung the moon, “We’ll have to play sometime.” He muttered. ‘Should I tell her?’

You nodded and smiled, “You’d be good at it.”

‘Yeah, I came up with it.’

“Why aren’t you performing now?” Buggy asked.

You rolled your eyes, “What’s with the third degree, Buggy?” you teased.

Buggy stuck his tongue out at you, “I distinctly remember you telling me I could pick what we do up here,” the clown mocked you.

“Didn’t think you’d pick interrogating me.” You teased. “Thought you ‘d pick something a bit more…fun.” You purred, stroking Buggy’s cheek.

Buggy swallowed dryly, “That can be…arranged.” He said simply.

You bit your lip and drew Buggy in close, drawing him in for a deep kiss. Buggy’s eyes fluttered shut as you angled your lips against his, a breathy moan coming from your throat. Buggy ran his tongue against your bottom lip, and you opened your mouth happily, meeting his tongue with yours. You pulled away just enough that you could kiss along his jaw, biting just under his ear.

Buggy hissed quietly, “Whatcha want, pretty boy?” he heard your voice in his ear, felt your teeth on his earrings.

Buggy huffed, “Want my damned body back, Doll.”

You giggled, drawing him back in for another kiss, “And in the meantime?” you mumbled against his lips.

Buggy groaned lowly, nipping at you, “Wanna make you feel good, Doll Face.”

You smiled against him, “How do you want me?” you lilted.

“Naked, preferably.” He chuckled. You threw your head back with a laugh, letting Buggy have his way with your neck for a moment. You moaned out as he found that one little spot before taking him off of you, resting him onto the floor of the crow’s nest. You eyed Buggy carefully, biting your lip before raising your tank top over your head, a new bikini covering your chest. Buggy drank you in, eyes tracking every movement and breath. He watched as you rose to your feet, unbuttoning your shorts, dragging them over your legs. When they were off, you settled back onto your knees in front of him, eyes not leaving his as you reached behind you, untying your bikini top with a simple pull of a string at your back and neck. You held the fabric to your chest for a moment after the ties came loose, a nervous look on your face, “C’mon, beautiful.” Buggy groaned, “Lemme see all of you.” You averted your eyes again as you let the top fall from your grasp and Buggy had to hold back an unabashed moan as he took in your form. You sat high on your knees, reaching a hand on either side of your bikini bottoms, ready to untie those as well. Buggy actively felt his breath be stolen as you slipped the fabric off of you, the lantern’s light flickering over your bare body made you look positively heavenly.

You took Buggy in your hands, slipping his bandana from his head, “Mind if I undo your hair?” you ask quietly. Buggy nodded, “Wanna run my fingers through it.” You whispered, setting Buggy back down between your legs, facing away from you. Buggy felt the heat of your body all around him as you gently raked your fingers through his blue locks, a slight wave from the braid making you smile, “You’re so pretty, Buggy.” You mutter, “Bet you’re pretty all over.” Buggy felt his whole body tense, miles away. You’d be the death of him.

When you finished unraveling his hair, you grabbed him again, taking him to eye level before drawing him in for a chaste kiss, “How do you want me?” you asked again, laying kisses against Buggy’s lips all throughout him speaking.

“Want-mm-want you on-dammit Doll-put-just put me-“ Buggy let out a low groan, “Lay me down and get on top, beautiful.” He muttered, finally catching his breath. You flushed, but complied, resting Buggy down onto the wooded ground, hovering above him on your knees. Buggy’s mouth watered a bit at the sight of your glistening core above him. You looked at the clown’s head between your legs and hummed, reaching a hand down to run your fingers through the soft hair on his head, “Sit.” Buggy groaned.

Your eyes shot wide, “Huh?”

Buggy rolled his eyes, “Sit down.” He said like it was obvious.

You scanned his face for any signs of not wanting this, “Are you sure?”

“Sweetheart, sit down on my damned face before I start trying to jump.” He droned, not even batting an eye.

You sighed, covering your warm face with your free hand, but lowered yourself down onto Buggy’s eager mouth. He got right to work, tongue reaching up to your clit, a sharp gasp coming from your lips, your grip on his hair tightening. Buggy just smiled and continued, lapping away at your core above him, the taste of you making him moan into you. Buggy felt your hips buck forwards a bit, a stifled groan ripping out of you as your clit bumped his nose. Buggy shuffled slightly, moving to where you could run your clit against it every time you moved, quickly pushing his tongue into you, feeling like heaven for you as you moved your hand so you could bite your knuckle.

“God, Buggy.” You whined. Buggy hummed into you, the vibrations making you moan into your hand, “Keep going.” You didn’t have to tell Buggy twice. Frankly, Buggy would be fine to stay down there for as long as you’d let him. He’d stay, clenched between your thighs for hours, he’d die down there, suffocated by you, and he would probably say thank you. He drank in your moans as he ran his tongue along your slick walls, trying to dedicate the sound to memory.

Buggy had an idea. A silly, possibly weird idea. He detached his tongue, diving even deeper into you, a muffled cry of ecstasy above him as he searched around. You whimpered as he found it, and Buggy began simply bullying your g-spot, poking, prodding, licking it like it was his job. You rolled your hips against his face, huffing and puffing above him. “So close, baby.” You muttered, “Kee-keep going, Buggy.” Buggy was a very attentive listener when he wanted to be.

Buggy kept up the pace, craning his neck up a bit to bump against your bundle of nerves on his nose, matching your rocking motions, drawing moan after moan out of you. When he felt your nails dig into his scalp, Buggy grinned, picking up the pace a bit, relishing in your whines.

Suddenly, Buggy felt your thighs clamp around his head, your walls fluttering around his tongue, a delicious gush of your arousal dripping into his mouth. Buggy kept up his ministrations through your orgasm, letting you ride it out. When it subsided, Buggy didn’t let up, trying to draw out another from you.

You whined at the overstimulation, but still rolled your hips over his face, your whole lower body twitching with anticipation. The second orgasm hit you like a truck, and you had to slap your hand over your mouth to silence an absolute scream from ripping out of your throat. Still Buggy didn’t stop, trying for a new record or something, you were sure, his tongue swirling inside you, sending jolts straight to your clit that rubbed deliciously against his round nose with every movement, as soon as your second orgasm subsided, a third sent you reeling, tears falling from your eyes, grip impossibly tight on Buggy’s hair as a silent sob racked through you.

As you came down from your high, you had to rip Buggy’s head away from you, toppling over onto all fours over him. He just grinned, his tongue still detached, soaking in your fucked out expression, mixing up the pattern of his abuse inside you. You whined and rolled onto your side, hands diving between your legs. To try and take it out? To help for number four? You didn’t even know, practically fucked dumb as you clamped your thighs together, your eyes meeting Buggy’s as tears still streamed down your cheeks, you grabbed the clown’s head and drew him into a sloppy kiss, maybe to distract yourself from the overwhelming sensation, his lips eagerly meeting yours as you rapidly drew circles over your clit, drawing out one more, ‘Just one more’, you promised yourself.

You shook as you came, ripping your lips from Buggy’s and throwing your head back, “Please, Buggy.” You begged, reaching another hand down to try and reach into yourself. Buggy gave you a shit eating grin as he watched you practically fuck yourself trying to grab out his elusive tongue. You writhed as you rolled onto your stomach, face down, ass up as you kept reaching two fingers deep inside of you, your arousal dripping all over the floor under you. You whimpered and moaned, number five making you rake your free hand over the wooden floor, “God, Buggy!” you moaned out, “Too much!” your knees spread out under you, a pretty presentation for the clown who watched the whole display, desperately hard wherever his body was.

You ground your hips into your hand as you reached your second hand back down, desperately running your fingers over your clit, your cheek pressing into the ground under you. Buggy watched your frantic movements, the way your tits rocked back and forth with you and God, if he could fall even deeper for you, he did right then. “Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck!” you whimpered, collapsing as you writhed and practically humped your own hands, fingers still searching for Buggy’s tongue deep inside you. “Buggy.” You moaned out, “one more, then you get out of me.” You whined, frantically circling your hips, your movements jolty as you fucked yourself deeper.

Buggy chuckled at your predicament, in love with watching you unravel for him.

“I mean it.” You hissed, flipping yourself to sit up for Buggy, leaning against the wall of the crow’s nest, a pool of your sweat and arousal forming under you. You looked deep in Buggy’s eyes as you shoved a third finger in, knuckle deep. You moaned pornographically, trying to be quiet, and bucked up your hips again.

Buggy moaned as he watched you reach the hand that was just on your clit up and grasp at your breast, squeezing it and rolling the nipple between your fingers, your eyes fluttering shut. You picked up the pace as Buggy started to somehow find it in him to run his tongue along your walls harder, faster. Biting your lip as your eyes rolled back in your head, your whole body shaking with the force of your orgasm, you gasped out as you squirted out onto the floor, a hopeless sob leaving you as you took your hand out of you, letting both of them rest next to you.

Then and only then did Buggy let his tongue slither out of you, licking a long stripe up your vulva, circling your clit a final time, making you twitch and groan, before opening his mouth and letting it reconnect.

“How’d I do, Doll Face?” Buggy huffed, ears roaring with his rushing blood.

You simply raised up a middle finger at him, a soft chuckle falling from your bruised and swollen lips. Buggy grinned as you picked him back up, laying a peck on his lips, “Holy shit, Buggy.” You huffed. “What the fuck else can you do?”

You ran your fingers gently through Buggy’s hair in your room, humming a little tune. You settled deeper under your covers, eyes drooping with the sway of the waves, settling Buggy more securely against you, the back of his head resting against your breasts comfortably.

“Gave myself the blue balls of a lifetime.” Buggy grumbled, making you bark out a laugh. “Seriously.” He whined.

You shook your head and flicked his ear, “You picked what we did.” You chimed.

“I know. It’s my own fault, but I couldn’t help it. Having you ready and willing all sexy and worked up? Couldn’t resist.” He sighed, “And now I’m suffering because of it.”

You giggled and stroked Buggy’s cheeks with your hands, “Just means I owe you one-“

“-or six.”

“-when you get your body back.” You purred, “Think you can wait that long, Buggy?”

Buggy’s face flushed with heat as he stammered, “Fucking hell, Doll! You’re making it worse!” You just grinned, “I swear, next time I see you, I’m showing you everything I can do when I’m not just a head.” He hissed.

“Looking forward to it, Bugs.”

“At this rate, I’m gonna have to tell Pinocchio to pick up the fuckin pace.” Buggy glowered, yelping as you flicked his ear.

[operationandre]

crazy Cal hcs please plz plz 🙏 also have u listened to Inside … by Decalius? there’s a cal sample from zero day 😩

CRAZY/DISTURBED CAL HCS

- When Cal was little, he would find dead animals, usually birds or squirrels, sometimes even roadkill he could find, and pick at them. He didn’t really want to torture them; he just wanted to look at what was inside.

- There were times he found animals that were injured, not dead. He would judge how badly the injuries were. Most of the time, he would say the injuries would result in the animal’s passing anyways, which wasn’t always true. He would take rocks and smash them over the head so he could examine them, deciding it was better sooner than later. He thought he was a good person to put them out of their misery.

- His actions above got him obsessed with blood, whether it be his own, another person’s, or an animal’s.

- Every time Cal came in from playing outside as a kid, he would have blood on his clothes. As he got older, he made up excuses such as nosebleeds or falling and scraping his knee or elbow.

- In kindergarten, there were multiple instances of Cal hurting others. Two examples are when he yanked a girl’s hair during nap time, ultimately tearing chunks of hair out, and when he pushed someone off the rock climbing wall, causing a kid to break their leg.

- Cal didn’t cry much as a kid, even as a baby. When he broke his nose as a kid (something he did often), he didn’t cry. When he was sick, he didn’t cry. When he fractured his elbow, he still did not cry.

- Cal doesn’t care about being in public. He genuinely doesn’t act differently in public compared to in private. If he’s told to be quiet or stop pestering someone, he’ll just get louder and almost always lashes out. There have been multiple instances of him facing repercussions for this, including the fight in the movie.

- Cal didn’t begin hurting himself because he was sad. He felt so distant from life and from his body that it was fun to hurt. He would enjoy watching his body squirm with pain, a natural response even though he was so numb that he couldn’t feel it.

- Cal does not care about hurting people’s feelings. There have been times he’s said things that truly hurt people like Rachel, his parents, and his siblings. This is part of what makes him like Andre. Andre doesn’t take shit from him and insults him back.

- Ever since Cal was young, he didn’t care about safety or responsibility. He acted purely on impulse. If something would hurt him, he didn’t shy away from it.

- An example of the above is when Cal made Andre close his eyes while driving. Andre had gotten used to Cal’s antics and played along.

- When Cal was charged with possession, he did not care. While this seems normal, Cal went beyond normal. He would play in front of cops more. He would act out just to see if the police would do anything worse. He would fight with his parents about it and leave the house to buy more.

- During Zero Day, Cal would stand by people after he hit them. He liked to hear them struggle, to see the life fade from their eyes.

- Cal likes risk; he likes danger. This is obvious when he asks Chris which gun would be best to use on someone. When Chris kind of dodged the question, Cal asked again. He didn’t care that he almost gave Zero Day away.

- Cal fights just to fight. He’ll start shit with anyone who is willing to talk to him. He just wants the stimulation and likes making others frustrated.

- Cal can lie 24/7. He is good at it. It’s not even a conscious decision most of the time.

[overleftdown]

this is going to be my somewhat-brief analysis (buckle in, it's not brief at all) of preluding scenes to farleigh and olivers... scene, lmao. because i can't read micro-expressions and social cues IRL, but i can for movies! also, i want to give my understanding of farleigh's character using the most substantial part of his arc. i disagree so much with a lot of people's takes on farleigh. i needed to talk extensively about it.

[0:58:46] farleigh makes eye contact with a footman. this is one of the footmen that farleigh mentions to felix in a later scene, which i'll also go into. what's interesting about this subtle interaction is how wildly differently you could consider it, depending on how you choose to view farleigh as a character. if you go the "mirror of oliver," route, then this eye contact could be the moment farleigh decides the route he's going to take to confront felix.

on the other hand, the hand that i believe makes more sense, farleigh is genuine in his confrontation with felix. the eye contact he shares with the footman is reciprocated; the footman holds it, even as his body pulls back and his head turns. this gives the idea that they are making a connection. the expression farleigh makes afterwards is also an indication that farleigh isn't plotting or scheming to earn pity points; he feels a connection and comradery with the only other black people at saltburn. when the footman turns away, unneeded anymore (this can be a parallel to farleigh), farleigh glances down, back up, then purses his lips. he looks dejected, in my opinion. this is immediately followed by farleigh's dig at oliver; "i think oliver looks like he'd rather throw himself out of a window.

food for thought.

[0:59:9] elsbeth: you can invite all your friends. farleigh: what friends?

this can obviously be a petty dig. and it is, in some ways. but i think a lot of these petty digs are because farleigh has been here before. he has watched his cousin drag home mediocre and tragic (presumably) white boys for perceived self-benefit. whether felix wants entertainment, wants to quell his guilty conscious (both of which are motivations for his mother), felix seems to have these fleeting possessive relationships with the friends he brings back to saltburn. he could also be queer and deeply repressed, lmfao.

i digress; farleigh is sick and tired. the first thing he says to oliver, before oliver even got to felix, was bitchy as all hell. after that, farleigh had more incentive to belittle oliver; yes, his comments about mannerisms, class, and overall character were petty. they were also all of the qualities that farleigh couldn't afford to have. farleigh is pointing out that oliver has no social life, yet still gets a 200-person party full of people that don't even know his name. this is tragically unfair, at least in farleigh's mind.

[1:01:25] felix: and fucking farleigh, what a little shit stirrer. oliver: well, someone has to entertain us all. felix: ...right. oliver: that's why we love him.

there's a clear disregard of humanity and depth, when felix concedes that farleigh is "entertainment." the sheer fact that felix would immediately believe oliver, a "stranger (as venetia so eloquently puts)" over a close family member, is odd on it's own. there are probably more reasons for distrust; everyone in saltburn is a shit stirrer, and farleigh does put on a particularly good show.

that's intentional, though. farleigh is very intentionally entertainment. otherwise, why would the cattons keep him around? they're welcoming people to their house as family, because they want a break from the reality of soul sucking wealth. because they want entertainment. elsbeth with her friend, who's only real personality traits are being pitiful and visibly different. felix, with his summer pet projects like oliver. farleigh can't be a temporary show; he needs to keep coming back. he needs sir james to support his mother.

[1:02:40] farleigh: i'm not saying my mother isn't completely idiotic when it comes to money. felix: you just have to be firm with her. farleigh: well i can't call her and tell her no! felix: i know, i know, you've said that. i know, i understand. farleigh: no, you don't know! you don't, it's humiliating. felix: it's very hard.

felix's approach to discussing other people's issues--that he does not relate to--makes me giggle sometimes. not that he's malicious or a fumbling idiot, but because of this scene specifically. in just this chunk of dialogue, you have the "i understand" and "you don't understand" conflict. an age old one. a common representation of someone who has never lived a specific struggle yet frames themselves as knowledgeable. felix seems to enjoy the "it's very hard" verbiage. the manner in which he speaks to oliver about his supposed impoverishment and struggles is very similar to the way he speaks to farleigh, in this scene.

i don't know what else to say about this. you can make your own inferences on felix's dialogue, i suppose.

[1:02:50] farleigh: i'm sorry, but it's a bit fucking shitty. you're all throwing oliver a party for 200 people while my mother lives in squalor. felix: well, she's hardly living in squalor, mate. farleigh: well she can't pay her bills so she will be! okay? at the rate she's going, she will be.

GAH. again, this dialogue can be considered in two different ways. farleigh could be hyperbolizing in order to play into the catton savior complex. or he could be completely genuine in his anxiety surrounding his mother's finances. it's very important that you recognize the fact that farleigh isn't arguing about himself, in this situation. he's talking about his mother. later in the conversation, he recenters himself as a person of color. but the original conflict is about whether or not his mom is living comfortably. this arguably affects him, but not entirely. he could continue to maintain his oxford-student-and-saltburn-resident character and continue to frolic around while his mom struggles to make responsible decisions.

[1:03:02] felix: right, well that's exactly why dads concerned about helping her. he doesn't want to enable her. he wants her to learn how to stand on her own two feet. farleigh: yeah, like he does?

and farleigh ate.

[1:03:09] farleigh: i mean, you know how this looks, right? making me come to you with a begging bowl. felix: what are you implying? farleigh: i think you know what i'm implying, felix. why don't you ask liam and joshua? felix: who... who the fuck are liam and joshua!? farleigh: ...your footmen.

farleigh's mannerisms in this portion of the scene GAG me. the easy confidence, the self-assured and confrontational attitude. the cocky wave of his shoulders and tilt of his head. he smirks, scoffs, makes and holds eye contact as emphasis to what he is accusing. the way he says "i think you know what i'm implying" even though i'm not quite sure if felix did. this really hammers in the implicit nature of the cattons' treatment of farleigh.

[1:03:33] felix: oh, oh. that is... that is low, farleigh. farleigh: okay. felix: jesus christ, mate! seriously, is that where you wanna take this!? farleigh: right. felix: make it a race thing!? what the fuck! i mean, we're your family, we hardly even notice that you're... different, or anything like that! farleigh: mmm. felix: i never know our footmen's names!

GAGGED. i eat up this scene and lick my fingers. "wohohoho, i don't see color! i can't believe you'd make it a race thing!" i know i should cut felix some slack, but this is just a little too real. although i've cut farleigh some slack for his classism.

the complete change in farleigh's mannerisms from the previous timestamp to this one is EDIBLE. i can't cope with it. his smile as felix says "that is low" is so painfully real. it says "i've been here before and maybe i was expecting this." for a second, felix is almost entertainingly cliche. then the exasperation hits. farleigh just looks tired. he blinks rapidly, smooths over his eyebrow with his hand, vocalizes his disbelief in felix's denial. "we hardly even notice you're different," to which farleigh crosses his arms (defensive), raises his eyebrows, nods along.

i won't include the final few lines of this conversation cuz i'm blabbing FAR too much, but farleigh's expressions of absolutely exhaustion and disappointment as felix says they've "been more generous then most"... i'm so sick. it doesn't matter what other families would do, because this family passes out charity like it's their favorite pastime. farleigh is your best american girl.

oliver, overhearing this conversation, immediately knows what his next plan of action is. compare himself to farleigh. and really, it's funny, because oliver misses the obvious differences between him and farleigh. just like everyone else. he will never feel different, not in the same way farleigh does. not with farleigh's relationship to the cattons, the legacy of his parents, and his blackness.

[1:06:32] (godfather's karaoke scene, AKA apple bottom jeans. he's a disgusting manchild and he throws his jacket at his wife.) is it odd to point out that another one of the only visible black characters is being degraded/mistreated/disregarded? not crazy, right? especially following the conversation about bias two scenes ago.

[1:07:02] farleigh: y'know, i think i'd fuck richard the III. he's so insecure, so you'd know he'd put in the work, right? oliver: or you could just fuck me, right?

here, i think there's a level of projection that farleigh is using in his line about insecurity. not only is it made known that farleigh uses sex as a tool (with teachers, specifically), but it's also made known that farleigh believes/knows that he is treated differently due to his race and/or family history. oliver seems to have clocked this, considering he relates himself to richard the III, then tells farleigh they have similar experiences.

[1:07:34] oliver: y'know, if you ever wanna talk to anyone, you can talk to me, farleigh. farleigh: ...what do you mean? oliver: well, i know you're going through a hard time at home. i know how that feels, when things are so precarious. it's terrifying... and lonely. and it must be so fucking weird, having to ask them for everything. and i know you fucking hate me. farleigh: i... i don't hate you. oliver: but... if you ever wanted me to talk to them, to see if there's... if i can help in any way... just ask. farleigh: ...okay.

i love this movie. have i said that yet? i bet you definitely couldn't tell by this post. this conversation is so... there's so much to talk about.

i'll start with some of my favorite of farleigh's mannerisms/expressions. when oliver first cuts their... tensions with "you can talk to me," farleigh pulls back slightly, sits up slightly, looks across oliver's face. there's a level of shock to it, but. farleigh was comfortable with oliver, his sworn enemy, flirting with him. yet, he pulled back at a genuine offer of support. some see this as farleigh always wanting oliver sexually, but i think it's more nuanced than that. when oliver says "terrifying... and lonely" that's when the camera cuts back to farleigh. he previously wore a half-smile that is now dropping; "lonely" was the hardest word to swallow. his lip is quivering. he looks up in an almost-eye roll when he says, "i don't hate you." he's laughing when oliver finishes, like he finds it all funny, yet the way he says "okay" makes him seem genuine. however... clearly not, considering the next portion of this scene!

even though oliver is lying out of his ass, everything he's saying is a description of farleigh. people grossly misunderstand farleigh's character, even when it's laid onto a banquette sized table through this portion of the movie. he's insecure, desperate, terrified, unsure, and lonely. farleigh, with so many friends and so many scandalous choices, is so fucking lonely. he knows he doesn't belong here, so he jams his ill-fitting puzzle piece into the saltburn jigsaw and crosses his fingers.

he tells oliver he doesn't hate him, and he looks like he's struggling to spit it out. he looks up towards the ceiling, closes his eyes like he's gathering himself. again, people take this as a bonding moment. the next portion of the scene contradicts this. honestly, i'm not completely sure, either. i think he's honest when he says he doesn't hate oliver. so, what? he's jealous, definitely. he wants to hold the same power as oliver, a foreign entity with somehow so much more privilege than farleigh. maybe that bred a certain kind of infatuation; the need to emulate what you'll never be. of course, he sees himself in the boys felix brings home; they, just like farleigh, need or want something from the cattons (although i object to the idea that farleigh is somehow "a mirror" of oliver). do what you will with this word vomit, i don't know where i'm going here.

and OH MY GOD "if you ever wanted me to talk to them, to see if there's... if i can help in any way," is diabolical. so terribly diabolical. the sheer idea that oliver knows, is pummeling it into farleigh's face, that he has authority over farleigh's life like that? that he knew felix for six months and he can somehow "talk to" farleigh's family about treating farleigh better... vomit inducing. farleigh is actually your best american girl.

[1:09:39] (karaoke scene) elsbeth, so uncomfortable with the idea that oliver is using them. i suppose that's the manner of wealthy people; they don't want to believe that they're only good for their money. but... they did that to themselves, in a way. they enjoy the pet projects, the charity work, the ego boost that comes with inviting the "lesser" to saltburn. hanjob on a haybale, golden big boy summer, right? everyone in the room is scandalized. farleigh is having the time of his fucking life. yet, here's the kicker,

[1:10:10] oliver: this is your song too, farleigh. come finish it. farleigh: only if you insist!

and then farleigh gives the performance of his life, by the way. people died. but... nobody is uncomfortable. literally no one. no one shudders or gasps at the scandal of oliver saying "this is your song, too" over the karaoke microphone; everyone heard. nobody cares. they all know. they start clapping farleigh on, cheering. elsbeth relaxes back onto her bed of cushions, because farleigh is entertaining. the change in mood is soooo... interesting.

[1:10:45] curse this scene, i don't even want to talk about it. it was hot, oliver and farleigh are so homoerotic, whatever yadayada. just like every other sexual scene in this movie, it is riddled with a suffocating kind of uncomfortable tension. we are made intimate third-party witnesses to carnal, sinful, emotionally ambiguous scenes. when i pointed out farleigh seemed more comfortable with flirting then comfort, when i said farleigh uses sex as a tool, when i said farleigh was projecting with "he's so insecure, so you know he'd put in the work." i just overthink. but any person that has sexual relationships with teachers needs intensive therapy and that cannot be denied. however, it's oliver, that uses sex as a tool throughout this movie. another uncomfortable parallel between the two characters.

something about farleigh's expression throughout this scene is... kind of hurtful. the way the moonlight just barely illuminates the light in his eyes, whereas any detail of oliver's face is shrouded in darkness. it make's farleigh look young, innocent, real. (sidenote, as i'm watching, i have to mention this. the way farleigh says that second "no" is so funny. "...no...?" LMFAO). man, i don't even know what to say, past this. the whole dominant dynamic, farleigh saying "i'm going to behave" is a little too painful considering the context leading up to this scene. it's freaky. it's so very oliver.

this is way too long but i could make so many more connections with their final confrontation at oliver's birthday party. i'm drowning in thoughts. what i really wanted to highlight was how ambiguous farleigh's character is, and how differently a lot of his scenes can be perceived. i've decided that farleigh is a sympathetic character, similar to oliver but so much less powerful. some people hate farleigh! so. there's that. the end! thanks to anyone who read this whole thing!

[nocturnalnewsiestrash]

I'm in my feels about how the way ghosts interact with the world and each other affects Edwin and Charles as sensory seeking and sensory avoidant neurodivergents.

While it's already hard to understand the dynamics of ghostly interactions with their environment at play I'm pretty sure of these things. So we know that Edwin and Charles don't feel items and other alive people the same as they would alive. It's a different touch-based-sensory-less experience(?) at least that's what we know. And we know that they can feel other supernatural beings and each other, differently. I'm in the camp of its basically the same as normal human sensory touch but that could be argued a bit. However we're sticking with that both for the sake of this post and cause I want to.

This analysis got long as shit so readmore it is

Now we see Edwin being very touch avoidant with relatively everyone (besides Niko and Charles) and we see Charles being touch seeking with just about everyone. This makes sense to me under the fact that they as neurodivergent beings both have their more usual "resting state" on the touch-sensory-acceptance scale where Edwin generally rests at the sensory avoidant side and Charles rests at the sensory seeking side.

The implications though of how the fact that you can't really feel things through touch the same way as you would alive really gets to me though. Because you might think that without the sensory part of touch there wouldn't be anything to activate the neurodivergent avoidance right? Well obviously this is not the case for Edwin as we see him from the beginning tolerating touches from Charles and no one else. Then we gain Niko too as someone he appreciates the touch of. And if he can't really Feel the alive people, like Crystal, the same that means that the new ghost touch sensory experience also triggers the touch avoidance. And we see Charles practically touching anyone and (anything) who will let him which means the ghostly touch also triggers touch seeking. So does this mean that under DBDA dynamics neurodivergence finds a way to still be sensitive to sensory experiences under any circumstance? Both in avoiding and seeking it? Does this mean that it's more of a mental thing than the actual 5 senses of it? This is so interesting to me because I've often thought that having the ability to turn off and on sensory capabilities would be LOVELY for my mental health (I have ADHD) I'm not so sure that's true anymore because my brain would just adjust and find ways to avoid and seek THAT new feeling. The feeling of the absence of feeling.

Now the difference between ghost-alive touch/ghost-environmental object touch and ghost-fellow ghost or other supernatural being touch is also interesting to me in sensory seeking terms. Because we also see Edwin enjoying Charles touch specifically and at first we could assume that he only likes touch under ghostly sensory feelings. And us neurodivergent people often have our people that we have more spoons to handle the touch of than others. Which also has very adorablely soft implications of Charles being Edwin's Safe Person including sensorily. But then we see him enjoy Niko's touch too which means that he can also find his sensorily safe person in alive interaction sensories terms. And obviously we see Charles being sensory avoidant too when he's out of spoons for that, like when he bats Edwin's hand away when Edwin attempts to comfort him at the lighthouse. And we see Edwin also sensory seek in, as George put it, craving Charles' touch after their hug in episode 5.

Now I'm fairly certain that they feel things in Hell the same as they would between other supernatural beings and as they did when alive. Which after 70 fucking years of that, I don't even KNOW how I would feel about touch as an already sensory avoidant person if I was in Edwin's shoes. Genuinely an unfathomable part of the experience for me. But clearly Edwin still can handle touch just more specific about it. No different than a regular neurodivergence experience really. Which just gives me so many emotions because Edwin baby boy I knew you were so so strong but 🥺 how did you handle this so well too 🥺. I don't know how you did it. He has so much credit for how he's handled (well everything, but specifically this) so well under these circumstances. Someone pls tell him he deserves more credit than he gives himself.

Anyway my Edwin hell emotions aside, i saw someone mention awhile ago (I would credit them but I don't remember who) that Charles and Edwin wear their gloves so often specifically to avoid having to think about the fact that they don't have the normal human sense of touch anymore which is just so something. Because that in and of itself is its own sensory avoidant behavior. Avoiding the fact that they're not really experiencing a specific flavor of sensory anymore? Could this be true for their many layers of clothing they don to possible keep from feeling that they can't feel the environment the same? Like wind/the snow in ep1, the temperature, and other elements? Sensory avoidance too. A supernaturally charged type of sensory avoidance but still. Sensory avoidance. Plus how we see them lose their layers and gloves when they're in their office bubble alone? Their home? Their comfort space where they have the spoons to relax? And possibly have the spoons to handle the new (well new as a relative term) different type of touch sensory experience that is their ghostly existence? Cause in THESE terms Edwin's sensory seeking in the form of rolling up his sleeves and placing his legs propped up upon the couch arm to experience this new type of environmental feel more fully. And Charles is sensory seeking in the form of Touching Everyone of His Magic Bag Items (and doing classic neurodivergent rearranging and setting up just to take back down play but that's beside the point) and fidgeting by throwing (and consequently touching) the ball in ep1. Which IS in line with how when we're more emotionally comfortable we have the spoons for being more comfortable with other things like more touch and more audio and more visuals as neurodivergents. These are the environmental and worldly items based touch. But we also see them touching EACHOTHER more within their office comfort zone, which means they also feel more sensory seeking in the way we're familiar with in their home bubble. And having the spoons for being more emotionally vulnerable there too but that's not really the point of this post.

In conclusion, how Edwin and Charles still act as touch-sensory seeking and avoidant neurodivergent individuals after this long as ghosts really enamors me. I didn't really go into analyzing the other 4 senses have changed for them but we know they can see and hear the same so those sensory seeking levels wouldn't change, and smell and taste are too things they mentioned they don't have anymore as ghosts but they HAVEN'T touched on how smell and taste senses would work between them and other supernatural entities like. I can't really comment on how the minute differences between ghost on alive and and ghost on ghost feelings would differ without knowing more. Like perhaps this would be touched on more in season 2? Like the taste of eachother hmm? Much to think about. Anyway yeah this was my neurodivergent reading of their touch based sensory seeking, I probably didn't consider some things, so I would love to hear your input on this too!

[sazandorable]

akai shuuichi

For nearly a year now I have been plagued by awareness of and lust for Akai Shuuichi from classic manga/anime series Detective Conan, of all things. It never stops. It keeps getting worse. My friends with me in the fandom are angels of patience, indulgence and gentle teasing, but for everyone out of that loop I need to explain.

Akai Shuuichi.

He's got striking green eyes and identifiably long lashes.

He is so tall, wears leather jackets, and often has one or both hands in his pockets.

He's left-handed.

He smokes.

He drives cool cars.

He has lived in the UK, in Japan, and in LA.

He used to have princess long hair he was super proud about. He chopped it all off after "a bad breakup" (more on this later).

Most of the time he looks like death badly warmed over in a prehistoric microwave oven. Bags under his eyes, sharp boney facial structure that makes his face look like a skull, an entire scene dedicated to him dropping a can of shitty coffee in dramatic slow-mo, apparently out of exhaustion. I want to bundle him in a huge duvet and spoonfeed him chicken soup.

He is so fucking smart.

He is so fucking funny in a deadpan way.

He looks so serious but does the wildest shit like it's a normal (and easy) thing to do.

He is a sniper. An absurdly good one.

Also excellent physical fighter. He's so cool, he doesn't do karate or judo like the protag's close allies or even boxing like Sherlock Holmes -- he does Jeet Kune Do like Bruce Lee.

He is good at everything.

He's FBI, one of their best.

He doesn't say shit but understands everything.

At any given point you have no idea where the fuck Akai is and what he's doing, but he'll always be where he's needed.

Hottest trait: reliable. Unfailingly reliable.

He infiltrated the big bad meanie shadow organisation at the heart of the series' overarching plot and became a very high-ranking member of it.

Now that he's been found out and burned, the common reaction to Akai Shuuichi from members of that organisation is "shit, he's our biggest threat, kill kill kill".

A guy from the organisation once realised he was being chased by the Akai Shuuichi and immediately shot himself in the head rather than deal with him.

Another shot himself after having been dealt with by Akai Shuuichi.

To be fair, it's apparently the guideline of the org to not leave loose ends and not get caught alive, but still. This doesn't happen with other characters.

He was a honey pot.

His seduction method was to let his target hit him with her car and then hit on her when she visited him in the hospital.

He ended up catching genuine feelings for her. Then she got killed, so now he has angst about that.

He refers to wanting to avenge her death and kill the guy that killed her as "I'll make my girlfriend cry tears of scarlet blood in regret for ever dumping me".

He says to himself "Hi, my precious, precious lover ❤" while sniping at the man who killed her through that guy's own sniper scope from over 700 yards away.

Hits him, too. 600+ episodes later the guy still has the scar on his cheek and touches it occasionally.

He also dated a FBI colleague, whom he first met when they bumped into each other and he pointed out she should apologise too because "the blame was 50/50".

She was super offended. And then she dated him.

Another, male, colleague once referred to Akai Shuuichi as "my wife".

The official resident Pretty Boy fanservice man is obsessed with him because he believes Akai caused the death of his own childhood friend(/boyfriend).

It was actually the pretty boy's own fault. For incomprehensible reasons, instead of ever telling him that, Akai "the blame is 50/50" Shuuichi takes on that responsibility and even tells him he still feels sorry about it, and lets this incredibly dangerous man repeatedly try to out and/or kill him and put so, so many people in danger in an attempt to get his revenge. It is all incredibly homoerotic.

He still humiliates this guy every time they meet, and sometimes when they don't.

He's so sweet about so many upsetting things like this or his own honeypot girlfriend incident, but also so ruthless about others. He'll do anything to get a foot into the shadow organisation. He'll use himself as bait. He'll use a colleague who idolises him as decoy (with his knowledge and consent). He'll use a 6yo as scout. He'll use a comatose woman, her little brother, your crush's dad, your dad, his ex, himself again.

"No, Conan-kun, don't get your loved ones entangled into this, what we do is dangerous and sometimes we get people killed. Anyway let's use this entire hospital full of injured civillians for a high-risk trick." - Akai Shuuichi

He's so sweet and also such a dick.

He also has daddy issues because his father was MI6 and seems to have died on the job in mysterious circumstances.

He's an oldest brother.

Because of his choice to start a dangerous job after what happened to his father and various other plot reasons, he is estranged from his remaining family they don't even share a last name anymore.

He and his little sister barely know each other, but she's emulating him and looking for him and trying to know him and it's so sweet. He can't let that happen for both of their safety, but also he's being a dick about it.

He faked his death.

So he's currently on his 4th name (that I know of).

He's now pretending to be a 5 years younger phD student with pink hair, glasses, and turtlenecks.

The turtlenecks are for hiding the fact that he's constantly wearing a voice-changing device. The device is a metal choker.

He's now living his best domestic quiet life at the hero's parents' manor-like house, reading their books and drinking their booze.

The hero's dad, who is a very popular author, wrote a book inspired by him. The book inspired by him got adapted into a movie and won an award.

The hero's mom, who is an incredibly talented and famous actress and a total hottie, has a crush on him. She taught him to cook.

Sometimes he drops by the neighbours' to share a meal he cooked with the old man and little girl living there and the kids often visiting. The kids told him his curry was not that great so he's working on it.

For another meal that failed to satisfy, he read cookbooks then asked an old lady to teach him the special recipe that had emotional value to her.

Man who is good at everything is not good at cooking. So he's learning that. From the women in his life. For the kids in his life.

He's so fond of the hero. They get each other and they don't usually run into anyone who does. They like each other so much. Autistic to autistic communication.

The hero is in the body of a 6-year-old. Akai is so impressed with him and thinks he's so cool and talks to him like an equal.

One time they went fishing and for a cover the hero called him "daddy".

Akai Shuuichi knows he's a weapon of destruction and can do pretty much anything. He's not a brag about it, just practical. He is basically the hero's on-call guard/attack dog now.

When the hero needs help, he calls Akai-san, and Akai says yeah, I followed the situation, I was waiting for your call, I know what you're going to ask me to do. Point me at the target and I'll take care of it.

And then he just does that.

In the latest movie, the hero needs to take care of an armoured submarine that is currently underwater and doesn't get picked up by radards. Akai goes "ok, I can handle that".

He shows up in a helicopter with an American rocket launcher and is like "ok, just show me where it is". The hero just has to light up the submarine for a couple seconds. Then Akai one-shots it. From the helicopter. While it's still underwater.

Then he goes home.

(To the hero's parents' home.)

This is Akai Shuuichi with little resources and lots of constraints, such as being an FBI agent in Japan not supposed to be there or do anything, certainly not use weapons, and by the way legally dead and cannot let the organisation know he's still alive because that would endanger several other people.

He plays the accordion.