#also the thing with aripiprazole is:

[geodebiome]

[hermitcraft-8]

what i think would fix the empires season two characters

gem- nothing she's perfect and flawless

fwhip- getting dicked down. and if he stopped eating cigarettes that'd be great too.

sausage- im gonna keep it real with you i dont even want to fix him i think whatever's wrong with him is great.

the sheriff- lots of things but estrogen would be a good start.

lizzie- she also needs to stop eating cigarettes.

joel- cognitive behavioral therapy.

scott- less ecstasy and more weed.

pix- a good nap.

katherine- weed.

shelby- less hardcore hallucinagenics. and a gun.

false- aripiprazole.

joey- hrt.

oli- so much. weed that's not laced with rat poison, a good nap, a hug, true love, a friend, a bed, a coherent upload schedule, etc?

[macgyvermedical]

My Experience in Inpatient Psych

So I know a lot of people on here have talked about their experience in inpatient psych facilities, but I'd like to add mine just to give all you writers out there a writer-focused one. It's below the cut just in case you have to sit this one out for your own reasons.

To give you some background, I am 30 years old and have had hallucinations since about 16 and bizarre intrusive thoughts (someone living in my house that wasn't supposed to be there, somebody poisoned my walls, etc...) for about a decade, as well as very severe anxiety since I was about 3 years old. This is something not a lot of people know about me, even people I am friends with IRL.

The only thing I am actually diagnosed with is anxiety, which I'm starting to think is a failing of the psych systems I have been a part of. I have had counseling off and on and prior to this hospitalization I took escitalopram, aripiprazole, and gabapentin prescribed by my primary care doctor- all for the severe anxiety.

Quite frankly, I should have been in inpatient psych at least a few times before this, and it's by sheer dumb luck that I've survived to continue this blog.

On Friday, I was at home alone and made a few pretty bad decisions. I wont say what they were because frankly they're embarrassing, but they have to do with self-harm. I was scheduled to work Saturday and at about 9pm I realized that if I drove myself to work I would crash my car. Since my wife drives me sometimes, I figured I would just ask her to.

I told my wife and she asked- even if she drove me to work, since I was a nurse, would I be able to keep myself safe around insulin or other potentially dangerous drugs? I couldn't answer that question. We talked for a couple hours and came to the conclusion that I probably needed to go to the emergency department.

At this point I figured they would evaluate me and release me because I couldn't possibly meet the criteria for inpatient. I was wrong in this assumption. After telling them the decisions I had made that day, the feelings of wanting to die in a car crash, plus about a previous attempt, they recommended inpatient. Turns out, when you're a nurse, you can make some really bad life choices with the knowledge you have, and they didn't want to take any chances.

I was given paper scrubs to wear (so I couldn't hurt myself with my clothing or a hospital gown). I was also given a patient companion (someone who sits in the room and makes sure you don't hurt yourself).

They gave me the option of signing myself in voluntarily, or putting me on a writ of detention. A writ of detention is a piece of paperwork that allows a medical professional or law enforcement officer to hold someone for 3 days in a psychiatric facility against the person's will for the purposes of psychiatric treatment. Whether you sign the voluntary or get placed on a writ, you cannot sign yourself out. You need to wait until the psychiatrist taking care of you thinks you're ready to go.

I didn't believe at this point I needed to go inpatient, but I took the voluntary option because there are some perks, like being able to leave within 3 days if appropriate. At this point I was convinced I was probably going to have to call off work Saturday and Sunday, probably be out of the hospital Monday, have a few days to rest and be back at work on my next scheduled shift after that, which was Thursday.

Well, that's not what happened.

Because of some of the decisions I had made, along with bed availability, they wanted to keep me in the observation unit overnight before they sent me to psych. I stayed overnight in a unit that shares staff with the unit I work on, so I was taken care of by my coworkers. This was surprisingly not that bad. I like my coworkers and they were really professional about it.

Saturday I felt like I was in a fog all day. I couldn't watch TV. I couldn't color or write. I worked out some in my hospital room and paced the halls once or twice. Mostly I hung out with my wife and occasionally talked with my companion, but even talking was difficult. I had refused ativan because I felt like I had no hope of finding a medication that made me feel better, and I figured I didn't want to take the one medication that might actually work and then not be able to get it ever again.

Around 7PM I took a 45 minute ambulance ride to the facility. Getting my blood pressure taken is a big anxiety trigger for me, but my brain felt so scrambled that I couldn't express this well. They took it every 10 minutes on the ride there and by the time I got there it was in the 170s/100s (BP goes up when you're having severe anxiety). This was not their fault of course, but no matter how much I thought about telling them or refusing the BPs, I just couldn't do it.

When I got to the facility I was greeted by a tech who took my BP again (150s/90s this time), showed me around and looked through my personal belongings (basically just the clothing I came in with since my wife took my phone and wallet knowing I wouldn't be able to have them on the unit) to make sure I didn't have anything I wasn't allowed to on the unit. She showed me around my room and was really thorough with telling me how things worked, what the rules were, etc..

The rules included:

No patients allowed in other patients rooms

No personal belongings that had strings, belts, or laces, or that could be used as a weapon

No caffeine after lunch and no free access to caffeine

No personal electronics (including eReaders and watches). There was a TV in the day room and 2 phones mounted to the wall for patient use

A little later my nurse came into my room and asked me a ton of questions. Here's the thing about any hospital- you get asked the same questions over and over. By the time I'd gotten there I could give my story in under a minute. Or at least, that's what it felt like. There were only 2 clocks on the unit, at the nurses stations.

The unit itself was laid out in a "T" shape. There was a main nurse's station at the place where the two hallways intersected. At the end of the long hallway there was another smaller nurses station, a cafeteria/day room, and a "comfort room" which was a small room off the day room that had a collection of the oldest and worst donated books that have every come together on a bookshelf.

I did some pacing that night and then went to bed, but didn't sleep particularly well.

On Sunday morning the tech woke me up to take my blood pressure, which was, not unsurprisingly, still high. It was about 5 AM so I got up and paced the longer of the corridors for about an hour. Breakfast was served at 8 and the food wasn't that bad. The coffee was about the worst I'd ever drank, which I suppose helped with the no caffeine goals.

Just after breakfast I met with a psychiatrist on an iPad for about half a minute, and I'm not exaggerating there. The only questions he asked were whether I was suicidal and whether I would be fine with tripling my dose of aripiprazole in light of the hallucinations. I had had a 50-lb weight gain in the last year so I asked to switch my med. He switched the med to cariprazine. That was all.

I had a much longer meeting with my nurse later. All the nurses did an excellent job of assessing me, asked tons of questions, and it seemed like they really tried to figure out what was going on. That day I also met with a social worker, and a therapist, and a nurse practitioner. Each of them did an assessment to see what my needs were while I was there.

There was also a music therapy session where I cried my eyes out to Because of You by Kelly Clarkson.

I was really tired by the end of the day but I also didn't think I could sleep so I asked for trazodone. I should clarify that when I say "I" in this piece I really mean my wife convinced me to ask because I legitimately didn't believe I needed or deserved any of the things I asked for at this point. To my utter shock and surprise, they gave me the trazodone.

My first night on trazodone was amazing and I realized I hadn't slept well in a long time. With trazodone I fell asleep and stayed asleep until the blood pressure cart came rolling down the hallway at 5am. The second I got up on Monday morning I was wide awake.

I paced a lot Monday. I went to a goals session in the morning where I gave a goal to write 3/4 of a page. I didn't know if I could do it or what I was even going to write about, but I know I like to write and it might be a reasonable introduction to getting back to life.

I also was having kind of a rough day brain-wise. My brain was coming up with all the ways I could hurt myself in my room. There weren't a lot of them, but it was trying. I told the nurse during her assessment and she asked if I felt I could keep myself safe. I asked her what she would do if I said no. She said they could move me to a more secure part of the unit and give me more supervision. I knew what part of the unit she was talking about, and I didn't want to go there (no space to pace, and pacing was keeping me alive right then). So I told her I could keep myself safe (if anything, the idea of moving was good motivation to do stay safe in itself). I hallucinated some black and white blood cells falling from the ceiling and music coming out of my vents.

I also had another meeting with the social worker to figure out discharge plans. I voiced in the meeting that I wasn't sure that I could trust my wife, since it felt like at the time she was the one who exaggerated my symptoms to get me in here. The social worker said we had really good communication skills, since this was something I felt needed to be said in front of both of them and we both stayed really calm through the whole thing.

I finished the day with an art therapy session that really helped me turn a corner. The prompt was to draw the emotion(s) you felt right now on one side of the paper, and to draw the emotions you wished you could feel on the other side. For the first time I realized that my emotional state was actually really bad and that the suicidality hadn't come out of nowhere, and that I needed help.

When my wife came to visit later that night I was able to tell her about my breakthrough, even though I still felt a little bit like she had done something to get me in here and I still wasn't sure I needed to be inpatient.

Tuesday was a lot better. I felt like I had woken up out of some kind of fog and I had no idea how long I'd been in it. I went to goals group, a spiritual group, and group occupational therapy. My goal was to be more social and I made a friend and we paced together and worked out. I read a quarter of The Martian by Andy Weir (my wife brought it for me because the best thing on the bookshelf was Louis L'Amour). I wrote about how good I suddenly felt. Turns out, I thought, a few days of good sleep, lots of therapy, and a new medication or two will really change things.

A quick side note about The Martian. I highly recommend it to anyone who is chilling in a psych hospital but has the ability to read while they're there (I sure didn't the first few days). I don't really know why, but the first few times I read it, I felt like they had created this superhuman character in Mark Watney just so they could throw a ton of wild things at him for the story. This time reading it, as a suddenly not suicidal person, I realized anyone with Mark's skill would have done the same thing and not just died on Sol 7 to get it over with.

Wednesday I woke up not feeling nearly as good as Tuesday, but still like the fog had lifted. I was a little disappointed (I hallucinated my cat (thanks for coming to visit me, Corina), some spiders, and just felt kinda meh. But I remembered how good I felt the day before, and that really kept me hopeful about going home.

I saw the psychiatrist again and asked to go home. He joked a little about me staying till Christmas, but ultimately he said as soon as his note was in I could go. I ended up leaving at about 12:30 with my wife.

In the time since leaving I have required a lot of support from my wife. The medications are all locked up, so are the blades and anything I could use to hurt myself. My wife has me in eyeshot at all times. I can't drive due to intrusive thoughts, so she does all the driving now. I quit my job because I feel like it was a big part of why I ended up as bad as I was. As someone who has been a pretty independent person this is a big change of pace, but something that is really necessary to my healing.

Ultimately at the end of my hospital stay, I was prescribed escitalopram, gabapentin, trazodone, cariprazine, and then a few days later propranolol. I'm currently on a total of 5 psych meds and honestly I don't care one bit because its so much better than being not on them at this point in my life.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

pt XV good omens entire season 1: a nice and accurate summary

@neil-gaiman I like to delude myself into thinking you would be proud of this. Are you?

Hello, Asmi here, I present to you a summary so nice and accurate that if you're feeling masochistic, you can just breeze through this to catch up and then directly rewatch season 2 to cry! Which is what this fandom loves to do, so as mascot I'm here to enable you :") Spoilers here, of course, and a lot of chaos.

Episode One! We open with God narrating the Fall of Man and we've got ourselves a Bible AU, east gate angel/serpent forbidden lovers, quite wonderful really.

The serpent (Crowley) now in human form takes the Antichrist and catwalks across a graveyard. Crowley delivers the Antichrist to Satanic nuns but there are several fuckups.

The East Gate guardian (Amoxicillin) and Crowley raise the wrong baby for eleven years with Amoxicillin being a frightening gardener and Crowley being a gorgeous nanny.

They realise the baby is wrong. The real Antichrist wasn't raised by them and therefore owns braincells. He names his hellhound Dog.

Episode Two! Gabriel the angel is an ass, we get some nice witch-burning of Agnes Nutter who made prophecies, and oh yeah the apocalypse is now happening and the horsepeople are out.

Nutter's descendant finds the Antichrist and friends and is hit by Azithromycin and Crowley who are in love. Things happen but what is important is Azithromycin and Crowley stare at each other and also Dog faces off a tabby. Azithromycin lies to Heaven.

Episode Three! Crowley looks gorgeous at Noah's ark, Architecture tries not to listen to her about how shit it all is, boom flood dead.

Lots of romantic flashbacks with Archibald and Crowley, medieval, shakespeare, french revolution etc etc lots of sexual tension, Archibald is in handcuffs, Crowley rescues his books from a Nazi bombing.

Antihistamine gives Crowley holy water, breakup breakup, paintball, sexual tension wall slam, bandstand breakup, it is very sad.

Episode Four! Duck aliens invade earth, the Antichrist possesses children, Crowley and Aripiprazole are incompetent at heroics. Aripiprazole is sent to heaven and everything is on fire.

Episode Five! Crowley is very very sad and Antibiotics reappears and possesses a lady, there is vague hetero sex, Crowley is useless, Antibiotics is the posh gay, everything is still on fire.

Episode Six! Big apocalypse face-off, Crowley's car blows up, no one comforts him, Arsphenamine is now back in his body, eleven year olds kill the horsepeople because Crowley and Arsphenamine are still useless, the Antichrist solves his daddy issues.

Crowley and Antipyretic switch places to survive and then they go out to drink and toast to the world and everyone cries.

THE END! WAHOO!

[I am so, so sorry to everyone who was involved in the production of this show. You deserved better than this summary. But this is what you got. Blame the fandom, I am only a figurehead and mascot.]

[actualbird]

thoughts on nxx as antidepressants please

weeping at this ask. i see my blog has reached INCOMPREHENSIBLE levels of nxx headcanons. im so honored....

that being said, i dont have much experience with antidepressants actually, so to honor the "write what you know" adage, i will be veering outside of antidepressants to anxiety meds and mood stabilizers that i do have more lived experience with. that being said, im not a doctor, but a patient. take all this with a grain of salt.

without further ado

the nxx boys as psychiatric medications ive taken

luke = pregabalin (used to treat anxiety, but ALSO used to treat nerve pain. i was prescribed this not for psych reasons actually but to treat a neurological issue i had, and i wouldnt be surprised if pregabalin was included in luke's list of treatments for his own neurological illness. the anxiety bit also seems fitting for luke because hes the type to endlessly worry himself with all the worse case scenarios, sometimes to his (and others') detriment)

-

artem = escitalopram. (baby's first antidepressant!! it was my first, and i think it fits artem well cuz it's used to treat both depression and anxiety, two things i think he has an abundance of. artem gets prescribed this and immediately goes into a self-worth crisis for even needing to take medication. "im really faulty, arent i..." artem thinks. chin up, artem, it aint all that bad!)

-

vyn = aripiprazole. (im currently taking aripiprazole as an adjunct medication working together with another thing im taking, and that seems to fit vyn's role as a psychiatrist/psychologist well; somebody to help you along the way in ur mental health journey along with other treatments. plus, aripiprazole is similarly hard to say just like adjudicator)

-

marius = lamotrigine. (this is an anti-epileptic medication thats also used as a mood stabilizer for bipolar disorder, and this one is marius primarily because it's the meds i have the hiGHEST DOSAGE FOR, THE PILL IS SO BIG, IT IS MAKING ITSELF KNOWN, just like marius' general 'in your face' facade. my reasoning for this is weakest among the boys, yes, but who knows. marius could have bipolar disorder like me. actually, all of the boys and mc could be bipolar. they all found each other like manic depressive magnets. sorry, what was this part about? i seem to have meandered. oh right. MARIUS. LAMOTRIGINE.)

-

thank you for this ask, anon. it gave me a hearty laugh

[gojo-mochi]

OOOOO BESTIE !! Can I give Law a treat ?! 🍬🍬🍬🍬💖💖💖 🤭🤭🤭🤭 you're so precious AA

Geez, Law, How come Softy let you have two treats?! (See law other treat here hehe)

And HII SWEETIE MWAH MWAH THANK YOU <3

“That’s salt not sugar, sweetie. Now, I know just because you’re usually grumpy and salty that you like things on the more salty side, but no one is going to eat these cakes if we add in 2 cups of salt.” You grab the container of white powder out of Law’s hand and replace it with a different container also containing a white powder. Law exhales out, the muscles in his forearm flexing as he whips the bowl of ingredients together. “That's why I said you should label these, they all look the same to me.” Law voices call out to you as you go to set the oven temperature. 

“Then you know how I feel when you ask me to help out in the lab.” You retorted back with a smile. “Oy! At least I label my items.” “Yeah, but I can’t tell the differences between ‘Aripiprazole’ and ‘Anastrozole’ when they sound the same.” You bend down to grab some trays when you hear Law mutter under his breath; “They don’t sound the same..” You roll your eyes at him, setting down the tray as Law finishes whipping the batter together. 

You were thankful that Law had a keen eye for measuring out ingredients even if he couldn't tell the difference between them, after working in the lab and measuring precise measurements for pills and liquids. He was quite useful when it came to baking just as long as he followed your directions to the letter, that is, with some grumbles here and there, your confectionery creations were always a big hit with the crew. Today was a special kind of bake day as you were making red velvet cake with ‘bloodied’ raspberries sauce on top and in the filling, in honor of the holiday spirit. 

The cake batter was ready and whipped to perfection by law, as you ogled his biceps for a bit, wanting to take a bite of it as well. He looks over at you with a knowing smirk but you said nothing as you took the bowl from him and started to pour it in the cake trays. Around four of them to be precise, two double layered cakes for the whole crew to enjoy later. Law helped you pop them in the oven as you get another bowl ready for the raspberries filling. 

The raspberries were already diced and simmered down and cooled so you just unceremoniously dumped them in the bowl with the rest of the things you needed and began to whip them together yourself while Law watches. “You sure, you don’t need help with that, Y/N-ya?” He leans down to your level, propping an elbow up on the table. You bump your elbow into his side; “I think I can handle some raspberries by myself.” You made a show of turning the whisk extra hard to show off but whiffing it and causing some of the filling to splatter out onto Law’s face. 

A smear of red and fruity sauce painted itself across Law’s nose and cheek. You gasp out, holding a hand over your mouth as you struggle not to laugh at the sight. “Sorry, honey, let me get that for you.” You took some paper towels and went to wipe the sauce off while Law stared down at you, when your hand got close to his face, he grabbed your wrist and tenderly bit down on your finger. “Hey! What was that for?!” You shivered and almost moaned as Law swiped his tongue around your finger, 

Draggin you forward to meet with him, chest to face, as he tilts his head down, his lips hovering over yours. “Close your eyes..” He whispers, voice husky and flowy. You followed his command, closing your eyes down and waiting for his lips to meet with yours. When you felt an odd, wet, and sticky feeling on your lips instead, opening them to find Law swiping some of the raspberries sauce on your lips, “He-mmph!” As you part your lips to yell at him, he shoves his finger in, coating your tongue in the sugary flavoring. 

This time, moans came out freely as Law took his finger out, soaked in your spit and replaced it with his tongue. Catching a few licks of the remaining sauce on your tongue. Wet slurping noises filled the kitchen air as you two stayed in this moment for a while, only breaking apart to catch some air. Law licks his lips as he takes the bowl away from you and starts whisking it himself.

 “The sauce tasted good but a little lumpy. I told you, you needed my help.” The kitchen was later covered in a strange red liquid as you took the bowl back and threw it at Law. The both of you disappear to ‘help clean each other up’, forgetting about the sweet treats you planned to bake and indulging in a different kind of treat for the night…

[oleaspur]

tws for psychosis, drug use (weed), hallucinations, delusions, etc. looking for advice.

just copy/pasting the post i tried to upload to reddit (awaiting mod approval) bc im depserate for any kind of support/solidarity here

Hi, I just had what I think was my first ever 'proper' psychotic break, but I'm struggling to feel validated in what I've experienced. I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder/EUPD and have a pretty unstable sense of self, so labels to explain my experiences are really important to me, and without them even legitimate experiences of mine I write off as 'fake'. Forgive me if this is the wrong sub for this, but I wasn't really sure where else to go with this.

Last night at 22:45 I took somewhere between 60mg-150mg of gummies (I thought I knew my tolerance with these gummies but now can't remember how many were originally in the 500mg packet - I took 3) as a self-medication thing (I am already aware this is a maladaptive coping mechanism and I am predisposed to addiction, but what's done is done).

I luckily have something of a timeline based on talking to friends through the high. At just before 00:35 I experienced some really intense, graphic intrusive and impulsive thoughts, repreatedly, for maybe 10 minutes or so. Following that I started having visual and tactile hallucinations (ie feeling 'fur' on a flat duvet sheet), and then began what can be best described as 'hearing voices'? My issue with this is that from everything I've read psychotic episodes manifest via one or more of the five senses, and while i experienced some of these symptoms in other ways, the voices were 100% internal. They didn't register as 'hearing' anything, more like a cacophany of people speaking over one another directly into my mind, without being filtered through my body in any way, though what was actually being said was indecipherable. I also knew that they weren't 'real' voices and that I was just 'hearing' things, so it doesn't feel like it was a delusion as such either.

I'm still struggling to cope with ongoing dissociation now (feeling like im standing four feet back inside my head, even though i am simultaneously still looking directly through my eyes, though the voices have since passed, It's currently 20:32 the next day and my symptoms haven't resolved, though they're obviously much more manageable (and I am much more coherent) now.

I guess I'm just looking for any advice anyone is able to offer, sans the obvious (believe me when I say I have no more weed-related plans for a hot minute if ever...), or for literally anyone who is able to share an even slightly comparable experience, because right now I feel... incredibly isolated. Thanks so much.

ETA: I'm also on a number of existing medications (Lamotrigine, Aripiprazole, Pregabalin, Venlafaxine, and Mirtazapine), if that increases/decreases the likelihood of any of this.

[just-otter-thoughts]

Medication medication medication. I'm kinda tired of it to be honest. I don't share it here much but my psychosis has been getting worse. I started actually seeing shadow things. Like small animals or abstract shapes.

The risperidone, at 1mg, isn't doing its job that well anymore. Why do I have to deal with this? She said "Do you see how dangerous it is to let you wander through those paths?" (about my delusions).

I take four right now. Granted, I'm only taking two antipsychotics because she didn't want to switch risperidone for aripiprazole right away, in case the aripiprazole might not work. So eventually it will be 3 again. But I'm tired of these meds everyday.

I'm not gonna stop taking them. I just feel like eventually it'll get worse worse no matter what. The psychosis right now is coming from BPD, probably, she implied that, and it's also probably not bipolar because it's not associated to a mood episode. Unless, and I have no reason to think that because the professional didn't express anything in regards to that, it's schizoaffective.

She said I have a "tendency" to develop what we all know that in mental illness world is The Big Bad, which is schizophrenia. So that's great to hear. The part of me that always expects the worse is thinking that within the year I'll have developed it.

Yeah. Just wish my brain were normal.

[fleetsparrow]

So, after seeing a post that mentioned how doctors will literally let patients die rather than treat them for other health problems while fat, I remembered I wanted to talk about this.

I have been trying to get top surgery for the past... 5 years? At least? In my area, there's only one doctor who does all the top surgeries for my insurance. For this entire time, I have been told that I must lose weight before I can get this done.

~~Backstory time~~

In late 2016, my bipolar developed psychotic symptoms (auditory hallucinations being the strongest). I was put on aripiprazole and stayed on it until about August of this year.

During the last part of 2016 through 2017, I went from about 135 pounds to 220 within months. Not a single doctor connected it to my new medication. Every one of them said it was my "eating habits" (I have struggled with disordered eating for years, even before this, but especially after) or my lack of activity. During this time, my fibro pain increased tremendously, though we finally did get it controlled. I could not walk without a cane for years. When we went to comic conventions, I had to use travel chairs or wheelchairs because walking for that long would cause severe pain. I couldn't walk from my bedroom down the hall to the living room without my hips seizing up.

But I was fat. So, you know, this was all my fault. 😑

(Note: I'm 5'1". I've always been on the small side of fat, and I recognize this. These are just my personal experiences.)

With a medication, I got most of my fibro pain under control. Between 2021 through now, I ended up at a very physically active job. My weight has been stable for years, but still "too high."

~~End backstory~~

In August, I changed anti-psychotics. Within two weeks, I lost about 4 pounds. This past Wednesday, I went for a weigh-in for my surgery, and I'm down to 198. The nurse congratulated me for this and said she'll let the doctor know so we can set the surgery date. My mom congratulated me for losing weight. My dad even is happy about this (I say "even" because we don't really talk if I can help it.)

The thing is, I have done nothing to lose weight. The only thing that changed is a medication.

I am livid. I am seething.

My mom is angry because not a single doctor listened to me when I said that I was gaining weight too quickly without anything changing. I guess I'm a bit miffed about that, but I'm used to not being listened to by doctors.

What I'm most upset about is the way people, including doctors, have treated me because I'm fat.

I have done so much self work on unlearning anti-fatness. I have advocated for myself, I have tried educating people, I have done my best to be as good to myself as I can, because I know nobody else will.

I am currently the fattest person in my office, and have been for years now. I'm also the only one who doesn't allow diet talk around me. I am exhausted.

I also still struggle with disordered eating all the time. I love food. I think food is a true joy and should be a joy for everyone. Yet, I still feel "guilty" for eating at all. I constantly deny myself food that I need to eat because I haven't "earned" it.

But every doctor thinks I overeat. Every nutritionist tells me to eat half of what little I already eat. Every single person explicitly or implicitly tells me I'm doing something wrong because I'm fat.

I am furious. I am tired of diminishing. I do not want to lose weight, yet I now am.

But everyone else? They're so proud of me.

I'm under 200 pounds, a weight I haven't seen in nearly 10 years.

I'm so tired.

I'm so stressed.

But most of all, I'm angry.

[mangom00n]

1 year on Bupropion (Wellbutrin)! Plus a few months but who's counting. I'm also on aripiprazole (Abilify) and oxcarbazepine (Trileptal). This is my bipolar 2 cocktail. Y'ALL I'M NORMAL NOW. Like I think this is how normal people feel every day?? I don't hate myself and I don't get major mood swings. I can get up in the morning. I LIKE my life. I go to work every day and then come home excited to spend my free time doing things that make me happy. Wtf.

[sickacademia]

yep just studied for around 2h of physics for my test on wednesday and i gotta say that ritalin really really reeeeally does it for me.

i wasn't able to study almost since this semester started, and seeing myself so focused and dedicated to the subject got me actually so proud and genuinely happy.

the only bad thing about it is to know that i may never function properly without medication. i already take aripiprazole everyday and adding new med to my routine would make me feel kinda... weak? i don't know, i just cannot accept the fact that i have limitations. i talked about it with my therapist many times, and she always says that there's no problem with having limitations, but still, i can't remember feeling so dumb when i was a kid, actually it felt like the opposite, i was always the best student in class. and needing meds to being able to stay through a 1h40 class makes me feel humiliated.

i'll try to get more of these silly little pills anyway, i just don't feel good with the idea of needing it. but yeah, adhd isn't so comfortable for me in the end of the day and if i can help myself feeling better i'll do what it takes.

and here's also a reminder to take your adhd meds. they're made for you. and you're not a burden, you're not dumb, your brain literally just functions differently from what most people expect it to. you're doing great and you're actually so smart and have such a good memory. i love you btw

[gbuda73]

This needs to be shared, needs to be read, and most importantly heard.

Sertraline- Zoloft

Venlafaxine- Effexor

Citalopram- Celexa

Mirtazapine-Remeron

Fluoxetine- Prozac

Duloxetine- Cymbalta

Seroquel- Quetiapine

Lamictal- Lamotrigine

Lexapro- Escitalopram

Wellbutrin- Bupropion

Lorazepam- Ativan

Klonopin- Clonazepam

Abilify - aripiprazole

Tegrotal - carabamezipine

Buspar - buspirone

You may know what these tablets are or know a loved one who takes them, but in case you don't, I will fill you in. That medication allows people to deal with a normal day to day life. Although most days it leaves them tired, spaced out, emotionless, or even super emotional.

Crazy right? Why would anyone want to feel like that?

Well this is why!!

You see, some people suffer from severe depression and anxiety.

In their brain it doesn't sit right, something seems different. They notice little differences that other people wouldn't. Most days they wake up sick and feel sleepless.

They consistently overthink every situation.

Was a comment about them; was it a joke?

Was that person supposed to laugh?

Or did they mean it?

Are they being nice?

Are they talking about them?

Do they talk about them?

They then think, I bet they don’t like me really.

They say sorry all the time. They feel like they annoy everyone.

And for all those questions they will spend hours trying to answer. Let it all build up in their mind, until it sends them to tears...... it's mental that they see things that way.

It's not only mental changes, but physical changes. They don't eat a lot or they eat way too much. Insomnia, up all night answering questions to situations that don't even exist, or sleep too much and waste half their day still feeling tired.

They still smile and they have every excuse for when you ask why.

But the tablets can help them. Because they know when they start to feel this way or think this way, they need help.

They know that when their behavior starts to change, They need guidance. And they understand that they don't need to be ashamed. They don't need to be understood. They just need to be accepted. Everyone is fighting a battle and sometimes you need to be kinder.

So I may just be another person who's talking about mental health....

Living with this illness is hard, but trying to understand it, is even harder. It’s also 100 times harder if they have another condition on top of this.

Don't suffer in silence.

Mental health is just as important as physical health.

Be part of the healing.💙

Be understanding.💙

Be kind. 💙

💙 Copied and pasted.💙

Sometimes don’t even try to understand, just simply love that person, support them, and be there when they need you. Some people in my life have truly mastered this, and for you I will forever be grateful!

[st0p-the-dams]

Turns out if you’re on mood stabilizers for over a year and then suddenly go off them and switch to anti depressants your energy level will SKYROCKET. It’s like my personality got turned up to 100% and I’m so wound up about every little thing. The mood stabilizers made me so numb that I basically experienced one baseline emotion the whole time I was on them. Suddenly now I’m feeling every emotion more intense then ever. EXTRA happy EXTRA cranky EXTRA sad. Lmao.

Also I started doubting I was autistic this past year because I completely stopped stimming and stopped caring as much about my special interests while on Aripiprazole (Abilify). Now on Escitalopram (Lexapro) I am definitely seeing all my autistic traits again. Stimming like crazy physically and verbally. Hyperfixating on everything. People are getting annoyed with me more. Having meltdowns. More aware of how clothes and blankets feel on my body. It’s wild how much more like myself I feel again.

[wyldwon]

This needs to be shared, needs to be read, and most importantly heard.

Sertraline- Zoloft

Venlafaxine- Effexor

Citalopram- Celexa

Mirtazapine-Remeron

Fluoxetine- Prozac

Duloxetine- Cymbalta

Seroquel- Quetiapine

Lamictal- Lamotrigine

Lexapro- Escitalopram

Wellbutrin- Bupropion

Lorazepam- Ativan

Klonopin- Clonazepam

Abilify - aripiprazole

Tegrotal - carabamezipine

Buspar - buspirone

You may know what these tablets are or know a loved one who takes them, but in case you don't, I will fill you in. That medication allows people to deal with a normal day to day life. Although most days it leaves them tired, spaced out, emotionless, or even super emotional.

Crazy right? Why would anyone want to feel like that?

Well this is why!!

You see, some people suffer from severe depression and anxiety.

In their brain it doesn't sit right, something seems different. They notice little differences that other people wouldn't. Most days they wake up sick and feel sleepless.

They consistently overthink every situation.

Was a comment about them; was it a joke?

Was that person supposed to laugh?

Or did they mean it?

Are they being nice?

Are they talking about them?

Do they talk about them?

They then think, I bet they don’t like me really.

They say sorry all the time. They feel like they annoy everyone.

And for all those questions they will spend hours trying to answer. Let it all build up in their mind, until it sends them to tears...... it's mental that they see things that way.

It's not only mental changes, but physical changes. They don't eat a lot or they eat way too much. Insomnia, up all night answering questions to situations that don't even exist, or sleep too much and waste half their day still feeling tired.

They still smile and they have every excuse for when you ask why.

But the tablets can help them. Because they know when they start to feel this way or think this way, they need help.

They know that when their behavior starts to change, They need guidance. And they understand that they don't need to be ashamed. They don't need to be understood. They just need to be accepted. Everyone is fighting a battle and sometimes you need to be kinder.

So I may just be another person who's talking about mental health....

Living with this illness is hard, but trying to understand it, is even harder. It’s also 100 times harder if they have another condition on top of this.

Don't suffer in silence.

Mental health is just as important as physical health.

Be part of the healing.💙

Be understanding.💙

Be kind. 💙

💙 Copied and pasted.

[mcatmemoranda]

* Primary tumors that metastasize to the brain: lung, breast, skin, kidney, GI; remember that 50% of brain tumors are from metastases

* Primary tumors that metastasize to liver: colon, stomach, pancreas, breast, lung

* Primary tumors that metastasize to bone: prostate, thyroid, testes, breast, lung, kidney

Myxedema coma:

Hydrocortisone should be given until concomitant adrenal insufficiency has been ruled out as the addition of T4 in the setting of adrenal failure can precipitate adrenal crisis on top of myxedema as increasing the basal metabolic rate by the addition of thyroid hormone will increase the breakdown of cortisol. If the body cannot adequately replace cortisol due to adrenal insufficiency, the patient will ultimately deteriorate. This patient, therefore, should be given both IV levothyroxine and IV hydrocortisone at this time and be admitted to the medical intensive care unit for further monitoring. If the random cortisol is not extremely low, then it is not helpful in diagnosis, and a stimulation test must be performed. Until the stimulation test is negative, the patient should continue to receive IV hydrocortisone, at least 100mg every 8 hours.

Bipolar disorder tx: Major side effects of lithium include CNS depression, heart failure, arrhythmias, hypercalcemia, hypothyroidism, pseudotumor cerebri, diminished renal concentrating ability, and serotonin syndrome. Lithium can affect the fetus, causing cardiac malformations and should not be given to sexually active females of reproductive age without careful benefit/risk analysis. Lithium also has several drug interactions. Some examples of these interactions include with amphetamines, caffeine, calcium channel blockers, loop diuretics, NSAIDS, opioids, SSRI's, TCA's, Tramadol, and thiazide diuretics.

Remembering all of this may not be easy, but remembering four major contraindications and one relative contraindication may help, these include:

Severe cardiovascular disease Hypovolemia or dehydration (impairs lithium excretion) Sodium depletion (impairs lithium excretion) Chronic renal disease (impairs lithium excretion) Relatively contraindicated in pregnancy (causes Ebstein's anomaly)

If you can remember these things, it will help you remember which drugs and diseases can cause further complications. You will remember that thiazide and loop diuretics cause hypovolemia and/or sodium depletion. NSAIDs affect lithium binding and excretion due to renal and cellular effects. Calcium channel blockers affect lithium indirectly as lithium is a cation similar to calcium. Lithium can cause cardiac dysrhythmias including repolarization changes sinus node dysfunction. This is why lithium is contraindicated in severe cardiac disease.

Other things to remember include:

Lithium inhibits iodine coupling and can cause hypothyroidism and goiter Lithium can cause hypercalcemia and elevated PTH Lithium causes a tremor that is quite common, possibly due to accumulation in the substantia nigra Lithium causes cognitive changes and sexual dysfunction (most common reason for nonadherence)

The goal of the treatment of bipolar disorder is to treat both depression and mania without worsening one of the phases. Mood stabilizers are the best medications to treat bipolar disorder as they are able to treat at least one phase of bipolar disorder (mania or depression) without worsening the other. Mood stabilizers include Lithium, valproic acid, carbamazepine, lamotrigine, and antipsychotics. Examples of atypical antipsychotics are quetiapine, risperidone, and aripiprazole. Anti-depressants such as SSRIs are not mood stabilizers and should not be used alone as they can worsen mania. In fact, placing a depressed patient on an antidepressant and precipitating a manic episode is often a cause for a new bipolar diagnosis. To get this question correct you needed to realize that all of the above medications, including the antipsychotics and antiepileptics, can be used for bipolar disorder while avoiding the use of antidepressants. CBT can improve symptoms and help in long-term management but is generally not as helpful when patients are acutely manic and psychotic.

Overall, the choice of medication generally depends on the state of the patient. Patients with known bipolar disorder who are manic need mood stabilization and the treatment of choice for severe mania remains lithium or valproate, usually with antipsychotic medication. The ultimate choice depends on side-effects (history of sensitivity to extrapyramidal symptoms), the age and sex of the patient (in women who may become pregnant avoid valproate), and comorbid conditions (in obesity avoid olanzapine, risperidone, and quetiapine due to their tendency to worsen weight gain and lipids). Remember that patients with chronic renal disease will not excrete lithium well and that patients with severe liver disease will not metabolize valproate well. Individual therapy, including cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), can also be helpful in the treatment of bipolar disorder and should be added to standard medical therapy.

In patients with severe bipolar depression, an antidepressant can be used carefully with the addition of a mood stabilizer, often quetiapine, though usually quetiapine or lurasidone is effective alone.

[storyofanothersimblr]

Update

Ya girl is TIRED.

I recently got moved to full time at my job and I also just got certified as a pharmacy technician so I can finally try to leave the absolute hell that is retail pharmacy and go into hospital pharmacy.

I haven’t played the sims in a while mostly because I’ve been way too tired. By the time I come home from work I just want to lay down. I’ve been trying to get ts3 to work on my new computer to no avail. I think I’m just gonna uninstall and reinstall it at this point. The only game I’ve been playing is Trails of Cold Steel III on my switch. I’m planning on getting the new fire emblem game because I miss my baby Dimitri.

Mentally I’m okay. I currently take Sertraline, Bupropion, Aripiprazole, and Clonazepam to keep my depression and anxiety at bay. My psychiatrist also told me to find a therapist so I’ve been dealing with that (funny how the one therapist I liked works at my job, so no thank you).

Anyway follow me on my other blog @babybluetaebae where I post a variety of things (kpop, playchoices/romance club, anime, basically anything nonsims related),