#also this isn’t like. exclusively a romance thing. i feel this way about everyone i love.

[spacelesscowboy]

so crazy how ppl will mean the world to u. literally mean everything. u will go about ur day thinking about them all day long and it’s like.

personally. i have never been someone else. so i can only draw from my experiences. but it seems like this isn’t the deal with literally everyone else. where’s that post that’s like. i cant be casual i will kill us both.

[nariism]

i don’t dance!

pair. pro-player!ushijima x PR manager!reader

content: fluff, reader is his VERY TIRED PR manager who really deserves a raise, weak attempts at humour, no pronouns used for reader

synopsis. you need to teach ushijima how to waltz

wc: 2.2k

a/n: i eat the “teach me how to dance” trope up for breakfast, lunch and dinner. (also yes i absolutely did use a high school musical song as the title who’s gonna stop me)

ushijima wakatoshi is what people typically refer to as emotionally unavailable.

he just doesn’t have the time to worry about trivial things like romance or feelings or anything of the sort. not while he’s trying to keep up with his rigorous training schedule on top of countless interviews and photo shoots that you, his wonderful PR manager, generously offer to help him prepare for.

it’s no surprise that this man - 6 feet and almost 4 inches of pure heart throb material - has yet to find a partner worth keeping around. not that he hadn’t had one night stands, per say, but being emotionally available for a committed relationship isn’t something he has on his mind right now.

although he isn’t exactly the type to be nitpicky about this kind of stuff, he does come off as cold if you don’t know him well enough (unintentionally, of course). people who he welcomes into his life simply find him too busy or too severe in his mannerisms to form proper relationships. thus, his friend group is kept tight, extending almost exclusively to members of the japanese national team.

ushijima keeps to himself and minds his own business. he doesn’t speak until spoken to, unless he has some opinion about other volleyball players you have to thwart. he doesn’t make a fuss about insignificant things. he respects his elders and works hard in every aspect of his life that involves his career. words are kept short and to the point, never sugar coated and he certainly never lies.

he specifically remembers one scenario in which an adoring fan had come up to him after a game while you were distracted with the press, and they had confessed their undying love to him much to his horror.

“could you leave me alone?” he had told them bluntly when they asked if he could please dm them on twitter, and you nearly died on the spot when the cameras all turned to the pair behind you. it was a horribly busy week for you, playing the role of damage control all while ushijima remained completely indifferent to the storm that was brewing on social media around his name and how he was trending for two whole days after the fact.

thankfully, the fan had gratefully accepted a bouquet of flowers ‘courtesy of ushijima’ (which he also almost vehemently denied online before you smacked him upside the head), and all was forgiven. it even made him trend for a couple days longer, but this time with everyone singing his praises. he should give you more credit where it’s due, because being a PR manager for someone so terrible at smiling for the camera is like hell on earth.

you had told him once that it was important to keep a good rapport with his fans, even if they were more forward with their advances than he was used to back in high school. he looked at you funny until you continued: “i’m not saying you should go off and date anyone who confesses to you, but could you at least be a little nicer?!” sounding extremely exasperated.

he didn’t even end up agreeing with you, too distracted by the way your lips moved while you scolded him to pay you his full attention.

“tonight’s the gala. everyone will be there.”

“i know.”

“so why,” you hiss out the words through grit teeth, jaw tense as you pinch the bridge of your nose, “are you standing outside my house when you should be getting ready?”

he’s silent for a moment. you glance up to make sure he’s actually still standing there being stupidly handsome and that you’re not just dreaming he is. ushijima averts his gaze awkwardly, hands in his pockets as he contemplates whether or not he should say what’s on his mind and risk having you slam the door in his face in frustration.

(it’s happened before; once, when he told you he was the top reply on a post for asking what “smash” means and why everyone was commenting it under all his instagram photos. you slammed the door in his face then, too, but he could still hear you erupt into laughter from the other side much to his confusion.)

you’re looking at him expectantly, with a brow raised and your lips pursed as you wait for an explanation.

“it’s a gala.”

you close your eyes and take a deep breath, patience wearing thin. “i know, wakatoshi. i just said that.”

“it’s a gala, so...” he huffs, “i have to dance, don’t i?”

you look up again at his words, confusion written all over your face. you’re in the middle of getting ready yourself, dressed to the nines. not as his date, of course, though he’d asked you.

(“what did you just say?”

“why can’t you just come with me? it would save you the trouble of getting the extra ticket. it’s not like i’m taking anyone else.”

“i can’t- that’s-... it’s unprofessional.”

“oh. i see.”)

you take the opportunity to scrutinize his outfit, as your eyes always end up doing. you’re always observing him closely, hoping and praying he doesn’t do or say something that will get him cancelled. in his defense, he’s gotten better at keeping his mouth shut when he knows you’re sitting there stressed to all hell about what you’ll need to apologize for on his behalf that week.

not that he would ever admit it out loud, but he likes the attention a little bit. enjoys being fussed over, since he spends most of his time isolated save for the members of his team. and it’s not like you’re very secretive about your judgment of him. it’s your job, for one, but there’s an undeniable and genuine worry in your eyes every time he says something he shouldn’t. he thinks it’s fine that he indulges in your presence just a bit, especially since people have found him intimidating his whole life. it’s nice to talk to someone who isn’t afraid to stand up to him once in a while.

you sigh quietly. “yes, you’ll have to dance. why?” you open the door wider for him, a gesture he’s familiar with equating to come in. “you’re not planning on bailing ‘cause of that, are you?”

he watches as you retreat further into your house, probably to fix your hair one last time before you head out early. you always arrive to these sorts of events earlier than he does, and always in a separate car. you were insistent that he arrive either alone or with his own date, since it would reduce the risk of scandals questioning your seemingly close relationship with each other.

close is not the word either you nor ushijima would use to describe your feelings toward one another. sure, you were the one helping to manage his schedule even though the job description did not at all entail that, and you’re the one keeping him in line with the media. he even has you over sometimes for dinner after an especially long day. but no, you’re not close. work acquaintances at best.

“no, i’m not bailing,” he tells you as he trails behind, following you to the mirror in the hallway - the one hung up above a high table littered with trinkets from past events and some photos of you and your friends and family. you look at him with a quizzical expression through the mirror.

“then?”

he stands rigidly behind you. the thought that it feels strangely domestic with you getting ready in front of him like this crosses his mind, and makes him grossly warm and fuzzy inside.

“i don’t know how to dance.”

you pause in your ministrations, hair that you meant to pin up falling back over your eyes as you stare at him with bewilderment. “you what?”

“i don’t know how to dance,” he repeats, though you heard him perfectly fine the first time.

“you... don’t know how to... dance...” you sound out the sentence slowly, hoping that you possibly misheard him. to your horror, he only nods in confirmation.

in your one year, three months and twenty-two days of working with ushijima, how could it have never once dawned on you that this 6 foot monster of a volleyball player doesn’t know how to do something as elegant as a waltz?

it’d never been a problem before. most events don’t include anything of the sort, and all the events you do attend with ushijima are to give out awards or give esteemed recognition to MVPs. but for a christmas gala, there will definitely be booze and partying and absolutely dancing involved.

for a second, he thinks you’ll keel over and place your head into your hands on the table like you usually do in these situations, or that you’ll start muttering curse words to yourself, or maybe you’ll scold him some more for never learning. but much to his (pleasant) surprise, you just laugh. and laugh. and keep laughing, until there are tears in your eyes. his poor heart can’t take it.

“what?” he asks, almost sounding offended. but his expression is still stone cold as you look back up at him, turning to face him this time. his breath hitches when the action causes a whiff of your expensive body spray to waft in his direction.

“i just wasn’t expecting you to say that,” you muse. he knows what you really mean is that you’re surprised he isn’t here causing trouble for you before this event like he always does, complaining like a child that he doesn’t see the point of attending. “why didn’t you just say so? it’s easy. i’ll show you.”

he stares at you momentarily while you stand there, hand outstretched as an offer to take it. he half expects you to yank it back and laugh in his face, more cruelly this time, but you just smile at him with the slightest tilt of your head. you sound so genuine that any hesitation left in his body melts away, and he awkwardly accepts your hand and waits for your guidance.

he’s stiff as a board as you pull his hands where they need to go, one resting on your hip and the other hanging in the air for you to take. “i’ll teach you how to lead first, okay?” he can only nod in response. you step forward once with your left, urging him to step back with your timing. then you’re shuffling over, gliding along the floor with ushijima trying his damndest to follow along, and then your feet meet again in a different spot.

he grunts quietly in concentration, watching your movements carefully and clumsily trying to catch up. it’s a simple enough motion, but he’s too big and it feels clunky to do this for the first time. you seem deeply amused by his confusion, and he glares at you quickly before his eyes are back on the floor.

“now you try. we can go slow,” your voice is soft. encouraging. so unlike your usual stern demeanor with him. “step forward.”

ushijima does so obediently, sliding his left forward to the best of his memory.

“good. now your right goes to the side and the left follows.”

he listens to you again, but his gait is much larger than you anticipated, and your back hits the table behind you with a gentle thud. he mutters something along the lines of an apology, but he seems too focused to realize the compromising position he’s put you in. you smile at him anyways, rotating around 90 degrees to give you more space to move.

“now again in the opposite direction.”

“this is too complicated.”

“this is the easiest motion...”

“i don’t like it.”

“you gonna keep complaining or are you going to dance with me?”

he stops in his tracks, boring into you with intensity in his eyes. you watch his adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallows. “...what’s wrong?”

ushijima just shakes his head, and then his feet are moving again as he tugs you along clumsily. “nothing. but maybe you should be my dance partner for the rest of tonight.” you raise a brow at him in question, even though you can feel the heat rising in your face and all the way to the tips of your ears. he clears his throat, looking away. “wouldn’t want any bad press about my terrible dancing,” he quickly adds.

this gets a laugh out of you. “as your PR manager, i don’t think that’s the kind of negative press i’m supposed to be getting you out of.”

“and as a friend?”

another laugh, a little breathless. “yeah, yeah. fine. as your friend i’ll make sure no one knows how awful you are at this.”

he blinks down at you, unsure if he’s ever seen you so relaxed before. you’re always so high-strung about work and keeping his name clear. there’s a softness gracing your face right now and he doesn’t know how to handle himself or his racing heart.

okay, yeah. maybe he can try and be a little nicer to his fans to see you like this more often.

EXTRA:

© ALABOADOA 2023 — please do not translate or post my works to other platforms.

[kiirotoao]

Thinking about how Mileven could break up. I don't see how Mike can be the one to do it. Mainly because it has to be done in a way where El isn't the victim of heartbreak, otherwise it makes Mike look really bad to the audience and the audience needs to root for Mike and (Byler's) success. (At least to those who are not already there).

If she's the one to break things off, however, it could make Mike the sympathetic character. As long as he is simultaneously having gay realizations, that way it's not as if he's just choosing Will as a back up plan. (obviously Will isn't but it needs to feel organic and independent from his relationship with El)

Does that mean the break up has to be El driven or just mutual? (Mutual at least seems to have the least amount of breakup "negativity").

The other factor is Mike or El finding out about the painting. But I would argue that if El finds out and decides to leave Mike for the sake of Will happiness.... doesn't that just make her even more the sympathetic party and Mike is the one she loves.

If season 5 Eleven starts to move away from Mike romantically, I guess that wouldn't be an issue anymore

It all depends of how it's written. I want Byler to happen but for me it still needs to be executed well. The multiple time jumps could also help with giving more Byler/Mileven space to play out.

Thats it! Thanks

Thanks for the thoroughly written ask, dear anon! I love having some content to gnaw on 👌

So, yes, the question of how would Mike and El break up. I really hope that it’s mutual and that they both realize that they simply aren’t working romantically.

I find it interesting how you factor in sympathy and perception of Mike and El. In the Steve-Nancy-Jonathan triangle, I think that perception is relevant. Nancy is shamed for bringing Jonathan over. Steve and Nancy are the affluent power couple of Hawkins High, and Jonathan enters from a down-to-earth, poor family. It’s the talk of the entire school when Steve and Nancy get together - everyone knows their names. The thing is that I believe that Nancy has romantic chemistry with Steve as well as Jonathan, so for them, emotional bond and sympathy when breaking up is quite felt since choice and weighing options of relationships is highlighted for their dynamic.

But as for the Will-El-Mike triangle, their status isn’t the focus, it’s their interactions. That’s not to say that Steve, Nancy, and Jonathan’s interactions don’t matter, but as kids, Will, El, and Mike are still much more clearly developing and changing. Their concepts of romance are portrayed to us as much more consequential of each other rather than outside influence. Take Nancy and Steve being influenced by Tommy and Carol. Take Nancy and Jonathan being influenced by Murray. Those types of waves in questioning relationships don’t happen between the kids. The only “outside” influence to muddle Mike and El’s relationship is Hopper who doesn’t or at least didn’t like Mike and made him lie to El, but otherwise, the kids are never under scrutiny or peer pressure to do things to/with the person they like.

What also makes Will, El, and Mike unique from Steve, Nancy, and Jonathan is that all three of the youngsters know each other very well. Mike and Will are best friends. Mike and El are bonded after finding Will together. El and Will became sister and brother. They are not mutually exclusive, they exist in each other’s lives very tightly. Meanwhile, Steve and Jonathan haven’t had a proper conversation (besides arguments) in canon. Ever.

So, yes, I think that a typical sympathetic break up would blur things for Will, El, and Mike, but the thing is that I also don’t think that that’s how the break up will be handled.

At the crux of it all, they both love Will. They both clearly want him to be happy, too, and I think that that starts at acceptance. If Will comes out to the both of them, I think that they’ll be able understand what he means and sweetly realize that their entire situation works out for the better if Mike and El break up. It won’t be as smooth as that, of course - and, actually, I think that this might be the hardest part of the process as Will would probably feel too guilty to ever come out to either of them and risk changing what he has with them let alone expose his lie to Mike - but I think that all the pieces can clearly fall into place as their loves for each other mix and collide.

I know that Will is a point of contention and consideration, and I think that it wouldn’t feel as complete of a break up if Mike and El don’t address him and what he means for their standing relationship. Will did so much for Mike and El in season 4. He tried to push El to tell the truth about the bullying, and he tried to encourage Mike that he was “the heart” and that El needed him. Although neither of those pushes ended up in full, fleshed-out conversations, that’s not on Will. That’s on Mike and El. And the fact that neither of them could deepen their conversations even with Will’s help says a lot to me. But yeah, we’re here leaning on a break up, I know that I’m not here to argue that. The question is how.

I think that Will’s painting needs to be addressed, and once it is, no matter where Will possibly coming out factors into this, El will realize that her brother has a crush on Mike and not a girl, Mike will realize that he’s fallen in love with Will’s affections and thus him, and they’ll both be able to sort out their circumstances. Of course, it’s not that simple, but I think that they’ve come far enough to discern how to handle the difficulties. El needs to know that she’s not the monster first, and Mike needs to know that he’s worth more than being El’s support first. Then their disagreements about their perceptions will come more fully into view, which will lead to a mutual understanding.

I agree that it would be tough if it was one-sided in either direction. Because in order for it to be one-sided and difficult would mean that either of them haven’t fully grappled with who they are.

But if they do understand who they are, it puts many awkward notions at ease. Because if El is for Will’s happiness, she’s also for her own. She doesn’t have to be against herself. She can see how Mike isn’t the one romantically for her and that she can have someone who is openly affectionate, who writes “love” on every letter and note. He doesn’t see her qualities like a partner but as a confidant, and that’s okay. They can still be great together, they can still be close. And if Mike is able to realize his sexuality and point of affection for Will as romantic, it’s not like he suddenly needs to remove El from his life. Hell, El and Will are siblings now, so whoever he’s with, he’s going to have the other there. I think that El is special to Mike; she always will be. She’s the first person that’s given him this opportunity of a lifetime, and I think that he can love her as fondly as ever, just not as a girlfriend anymore.

Their bond as each other’s protectors and safe places will trump their being exes, if you ask me.

So here’s how I dream it to go: Mike and El talk. It’s casual at first, but they’re both still tense after all the tragedy. They talk about how scared/worried they are, how they just don’t seem to hold each other up. Even though they’re both trying, something is off. They like being together, but if this is love, then it doesn’t feel quite right. They both agree. Mike still genuinely thanks her for the painting to which things shift. El doesn’t know about the painting. It was for him? Mike is now flustered. El realizes that Will is in love with Mike. They piece it together aloud, and she asks how Mike feels about him. All it takes is for Mike to convey that he does like Will. He apologizes. He feels horrible, guilty. But El just puts her hand on his. It’s okay. She didn’t realize it, either. The fault isn’t always on one thing, she’s learned. They hug. Something like that.

I want to close this by saying that I agree that it all comes down to how the break up is written, and I think that the writers have all the pieces to make it pretty lovely. Will, El, and Mike all love each other very much, it’s just a matter of sorting out the displaced romance without losing anything other kind of love for each other.

Basically…

Their central bond of unconditional love doesn’t ever need to change, just the status of their flexible relationships.

[comradeboyhalo]

Ok so none of these things actually canonically exist on this server, but it’s really interesting to speculate how the aro-coding of Bad’s characters is perceived by others and how that influences his relationships. I’m also assuming that he’s grey-ace as well and full disclaimer: I’m aroace, so I really can’t speak about the experience of arospecs, just my own perception of romance.

C!Skephalo was never confirmed as romantic by c!Bad, ever. But since the other players assumed they were in an already-existing relationship, they were comfortable defining them as a couple and therefore only teased c!Bad about his relationship with c!Skeppy. c!Sapnap never cared to confirm their relationship, they were just his dads. c!Puffy’s relationship counseling assumed they were a couple going through harsh times. The rest of the server just saw them as a married couple. They never faced any serious pressure to label their relationship. c!Bad’s aromanticism was allowed to exist on the DSMP because he was assumed to be operating as an allo person, when, in reality, c!Skephalo’s relationship is not easily defined.

Q!4halo differs in the sense that they weren’t an existing relationship, but one that developed slowly in everyone’s sight. And, because of that, q!Bad is much more pressured to define whether or not his feelings are romantic. q!Baghera wants a yes/no to preserve the trio’s friendship. q!Forever wants an answer because he’s already struggled with love in the past and doesn’t want to be confused. Even others (q!Cellbit, Richarlyson, Dapper) are waiting for an eventual romantic confirmation. But here’s the thing: just like c!Bad, that romantic confirmation could never happen, because it doesn’t need to happen for him. q!Bad doesn’t want q!Forever in another relationship. He likes when q!Forever to be equally possessive of him. He wants to live and share a family with q!Forever. None of that needs to be explicitly romantic, because giving q!Forever such special treatment is enough. I don’t want to assume q!Bad is similar to my own views on aromanticism, but, to me, there’s not much of a difference between a committed romantic relationship to a committed platonic relationship. If you know that I love you with all my heart…isn’t that enough? Why do we need to be defined?

The reason why c!Skephalo works is that c!Skeppy is content to stay in this undefined relationship. He doesn’t seem to want anything from c!Bad except for 100% commitment/exclusivity, which c!Bad follows for the most part (cough discount skeppy cough). To c!Skeppy, the fact that they will kill and die for each other is enough, and he will equally deny assumptions from others that they’re romantically involved. Honestly, c!Skeppy could also be read as arospec in that sense.

I believe that q!4halo could work out with proper communication and, of course, if q!Forever reciprocates any strong feelings for q!Bad. However, they need to get past the roadblock that q!Bad will likely never define their relationship from his end. And if that’s not enough for q!Forever, who had gotten out of a messy crush and past breakup, then I completely understand. (And all this is without taking into account the giant blue elephant in the room which is a lot…) But either way, I think q!4halo already have such a strong friendship, that even if any romantic inkling dies out, they will stay in a queerplatonic/quasi-queerplatonic relationship.

Sidenote: Personally I see both c!Bad and q!Bad as gay aroace-spec. I think shipping and interpreting his actions as romantic is completely on the table. I just don’t think that in canon he will ever come to that conclusion himself explicitly.

[ashtraythief]

This is kinda a weird question, but isn’t it strange that we all love fan fiction and reading romantic plot lines in them and smut and all of this but our favorite show is Supernatural, which is just this story about platonic love? I think that really drew me to the show, I’ve never seen a show that focused so heavily on platonic love, not romantic, and made that the same focus of the entire show. It’s so lovely to see. Did that draw you into the show too?

Ah, yeah. Fandom and their endless quest to make everyone bang and/or fall in love (which I say lovingly, because so do I). And I don't think it's a weird question at all.

Honestly, I started watching Supernatural for very shallow reasons. It was recommend in the “ridiculously attractive people” category of a streaming site :D The pilot was way too scary for me though and so I quit again. But then a while later, I was watching Leverage on TNT and that ep was followed by Playthings. We left the TV running and I just… got sucked into it. Obviously, I had no idea about the context, only remembered the pilot vaguely, but boy did I fall in love immediately. With them, their relationship, the humor, the love and I went right back to the beginning and forced myself to put on my big girl pants and suffer through the scary eps (yes, yes, I know, they’re not that scary, I’m a wuss) and I was so gone on them, it was ridiculous. So yeah, it was the abscence of romance i guess, because I did fall in love with their relationship. In which Playthings truly is a magnificent gem even among the riches of season two.

I think if Sam and Dean’s relationship were romantic (if they were an unrelated het couple because let’s be real, nothing else would have been on network TV seventeen years ago), I think I would have been almost as enamored. Though I don’t know how to build a relationship like that without their past. It would have needed to be grown up together in some kind of way. I think their relationship would be compelling either way, but it is definitely more compelling for not being romantic. For one I think because romance is the default setting for the all-encompassing, soulmate-type relationships, and also because it’s just so unusual? Like even for one of those fated soulmate romance stories, Sam and Dean are still weirdly intense. They’re just more. Unhealthy, codependent, whatever you want to call it, but it makes for good stories. And I think that’s beautiful.

As for why we make wincest…. Well, the shallow reason is that they’re both beautiful men and it’s fun to imagine them bang. And sometimes you gotta be shallow. But also it just seems…. logical. They want to share everything (they do almost share everything, I mean consider what they know about each other’s sex lives and how they enable each other, like Dean wanting Sam to get laid to cheer him up or Sam wanting to drag Dean to a strip club to cheer him up, like they know sexy times can make you feel better and since they can’t provide that themselves they try to find ways to at least facilitate the happy-making sexy times), they are incredibly intimate anyway, there are many instance where they are jealous of romantic partners/friends and there is an exclusive claim on the other that’s rarely relinquished. Honestly, sex is probably the only facette of an intimate interpersonal relationship that’s not covered due to the whole being related thing, but fandoms love to break taboos and explore all sorts of boundaries in transformative works, and wincest is truly the most low hanging fruit of them all. It’s right there. Dancing out of reach. The show itself plays with it, both as jokes when people mistake them as a gay couple or when Sam and Dean use couple-coded language for each other, like when Dean asks if Sam wants a divorce when they’re fighting. They also made actual wincest shippers canon. Like, I was an innocent brofan of the show when I saw The Monster at the End of the Book, and bam, wincest in my brain, like a lightbulb went off and it took up residence there because it just made so much sense. In more serious themes, other characters comment on how special or twisted their relationship is, both friends and villains alike, they sell their soul for each other (or at least try to in Sam’s case), they do or attempt to do unspeakable things to save each other, they are canon soulmates, they have an extensive repertoire of love language and love acts to show their love for and knowledge of each other, they have a whole you-are-the-most-important-thing-ever thing that goes down in a fucking church, I mean, the show makes it abundantly clear that Sam and Dean are it for each other. And so I think that it’s very natural that people go with the wincest. Even though we have to take the incest hurdle, but hey, fantasy is for the dark, transgressive stuff, right? 

At the same time, it is refreshing that the show doesn’t center romance when almost all other shows do, and I think it’s one of the reasons people do enjoy it. And once you have the magic of Sam and Dean, whether you ship wincest or not, you don’t want them to mess with that so you want the non-romance thing to stay (unless you want a certain ship to go canon of course). In conclusion, wincest just makes sense, on every level really and we just creatively want to explore that in fun ways while keeping what’s great about canon in the show. The true art of shipping, I think.

[rainstormcolors]

For the ask meme!

Ygo: 3, 6, 8

Prideshipping: 9, 15

Seto Kaiba: 2, 6, 7

Hello! Thank you for the ask.

Yu-Gi-Oh!

3) …which scene I would like to erase from the universe and why.

People are pretty fair in disliking uncomfortable fanservicey scenes in the early manga and those could be nixed without being missed.

6) …which is my favorite platonic or familial relationship in this world.

Seto and Mokuba Kaiba are important to me and I feel they have a complex and nuanced relationship, and it’s kept them both alive and has given them hope but it has its tensions as well. The love in an imperfect family struggling and surviving, and understanding each other and not understanding each other and being there for each other or not knowing how to be there for each other, and reaching for each other, failing at times, and trying.

8) …a quote from it that means a lot to me

Oh whoops... I forgot to include this one initially.

"For him." -- Seto Kaiba

Prideshipping

9) …what my ideal endgame for them is.

I toy with how their relationship may play out in a few ways. Sometimes Seto and Atem meet that final time in the Netherworld, and they see and understand how much they mean to each other and can say goodbye, and Seto returns home alone. Sometimes Seto and Atem return home together. There was a period after DSoD first came out where Japanese fan stories would feature Seto traveling back and forth between the mortal world and the Netherworld and I don’t mind toying with that concept either. It probably depends on my mood. I like the two holding onto that bond. Knowing they meant something to each other. And/or continuing to be part of each other’s lives.

I do think both Seto and Atem have growing to do as people, and should learn about themselves and the world more, but I also don’t feel the two need to be glued at the hip in the case of Atem returning home with Seto. I do think it would take time for them to be stably together. I kind of characterize them as starting out as “exclusive-friends-with-benefits,” and it takes time for them to move into labeling their relationship a romance.

15) …how I wish their story would go/would have gone.

I feel this fictional relationship might be too close to my heart for me to want to change it exactly. Which is a non-answer so I apologize. I kind of see the characters as themselves in canon and can’t ask for them to change exactly.

Seto Kaiba

2) …how I would have chosen to change their story from canon.

This is again a taste/preference thing of course. I certainly have added more details to the early portion of Seto’s canon in my mind, and it’d be nice if some of those details were canon. More details of the mentally breaking away from everything and everyone. Maybe more foreshadowing of Gozaburo haunting him.

6) …the scene that I think shows just how awesome they really are.

You know, lately I’ve been thinking of Seto’s tired and regret-filled and mournful expression as he internally apologizes for failing Mokuba just before Pegasus seals away Seto’s soul. “Awesome” isn’t really the correct word. But for some reason I’ve been thinking of those panels.

Perhaps related, and maybe more in the category of “awesome” is Seto trusting in his deck and cards during that duel as he blindly pulls the Blue Eyes White Dragon to play from his deck. A gesture of faith and hope and heart.

I answered 7 previously.

Thank you again for the ask. I hope tomorrow is kind to you.

[thegreatlibraryfangirl]

i wasn't sure which one of the aro questions i should ask so answer whatever 3 questions u like most

Oh bless you anon, you could ask any that you fancied!

But OK fabulous I will pick some.

Where do you fit in the aro community (ex, alloaro / aroace / nonSAM aro / etc)?

Alloaro, sexual attraction is the uncomplicated side of life LOL. I’m also arospec rather than aromantic, because I have experienced romantic attraction before.

How long have you known you are aro? 

(more frustrated horse noises). I swear I had posted something on tumblr about this realisation, but can I find it??? Of course not. Some time early 2021 was announcing it to myself.

My whole life I’ve never had a romantic/sexual relationship with anyone. It tends not to bother me, other than what I would phrase as “I want to be someone’s most important person”, which is the desperate attention whore in me lol and technically isn’t a romantic or sexual desire, though of course it’s unlikely to be  fulfilled any other way (mumbles about amatonormativity). My mum still believes I’ll find someone, which,like, I am in my 30s. I have had a lifetime of not sharing my life, my bed, my time. I’m not sure I could comfortably accommodate another person in stereotypical couple living conditions now even if I did love them.

In 2020 I had an unsuccessful (for several different reasons, including covid) attempt at starting a relationship, which made me realise that I might actually be less likely to create romantic feelings than other people (previously i’d just assumed that you either found The One immediately or that romantic feelings just grew for everyone over time. I had to explain dating to myself somehow lol. the whole dating thing feels like nonsense to me.).

Then in about Feb 2021 my best friend of a decade started Going Through Some Shit and I discovered that adding the resulting increase in emotional intimacy to the cocktail of ten years of bestfriendship + existing lowkey sexual attraction = romantic feelings. Mainly of the “I wish I could fix it for you” variety, but romantic feelings nonetheless. And then I was like, ooooh okay, so this is the deal. This is an unusual feeling, I don’t know if I’ve had this before.

And then (thank you a decade on Tumblr steeping me in both microlabels and anti-gatekeeping concepts) I just shrugged and said okay, and called myself demi. I’m still not sure if that’s the correct label, so sometimes I use greyaro or arospec.

Do you have any aro-spec headcanons?

Oh yes! I have blathered about all of these before but yes, let’s go over them again.

Annis is aromantic and allosexual. She doesn’t feel romantic attraction like she knows other people do, and she’s not bothered by it. Happy in her skin.

Glain is ... well, I waver constantly between making her aroace or aroallo, but regardless, she’s aromantic, and romance-repulsed.

Wolfe is. Hm. We say Nic-sexual a lot on here, and like, basically that lol. Wolfe has had one romantic and probably one sexual attraction his entire life, and it’s to his Niccolo. Exactly which label to pick for that, who knows? Demi? Definitely neurodivergent??

Morgan is arospec, label unknown to her or me lol. Based on her thoughts in Smoke and Iron, where she admits that she really cares for Jess, but doesn’t love him.

I was browsing microlabels yesterday and oops now i have a new headcanon: Thomas is nebularomantic, which is basically quoiromantic (can’t distinguish romantic from platonic feelings) but exclusively for neurodivergent people. Because I also headcanon Thomas as neurodivergent of some sort, and I absolutely interpret an awful lot of his canonical relationship with Jess as blurring that line between friends and “in love”.

[valenteal]

My opinion as a newbie in the mha fandom

Ok so I finally got into mha. I don’t actually like it but once I watched most of seasons 1-4 on Netflix and watched some YouTube videos summarizing shit I was able to get into fan content without being majorly confused. And I love the fandom?! Or at least the content that comes from it. Idk a lot of people seem really opinionated about it and kinda aggressive? Which I can’t really understand because canon isn’t even that good and the only way I can stand it is by changing some things in my head. As far as I can tell most people do this? But it ends in everyone having wildly conflicting views of all the characters and like… not going back to canon to remember where they got their version from and see how someone else may have gotten something different? Or people are getting pissed because other’s aren’t being true to canon, which is bullshit because that’s literally what fandom is for… anyway I am having a lot of fun actually. I tried to watch the anime a couple times but I just didn’t like it and wasn’t motivated enough to push through it but now I’m wishing I could watch more of it (stupid Netflix only has 4 seasons cmon man I wanna see more Hawks!!!!!!!).

Anyway I adore all the different variations on the characters, like no one characterizes anyone the same way and no matter how many times you read the same scenarios with the same characters it’s always wildly different and entertaining! I this the greatest thing about having a large fandom built around a not so great original piece is how creative everyone gets. Everyone builds off each other and create something entirely different from the original and everyone gets to run wild and have a blast. I especially love how so many people have taken the Todoroki family and told so many different stories with them, weather it’s about forgiveness or revenge or moving on. Dabi is objectively insane and totally unhinged in canon but I love when people make him a bit more rational and in touch with his feelings. I also love seeing him go nuts and burning shit to the ground. I love seeing all the interesting relationships we don’t see enough of in canon expanded upon.

So far Dabi, Hawks, Bakugo, and Shoto are my favorites which, that’s 4 characters why the hell are they all guys? Obviously because the female characters aren’t nearly as well developed and that does piss me off quite a bit. The whole show is horribly sexist to the point where I don’t understand how anyone ever got through it without fan content to motivate them. Like they put in a token effort with making the girls just as powerful but I cannot get over the objectification or the way none of the girls really get their own serious arcs or backstories. At the same time the fandom is full of really positive feminism?! Like the sexism drew to much attention to itself so everyone was like ‘nope we’re fixing this ourselves’ and then did?!

Although I do have to say that people may have gone a bit overboard with the lgbt representation in the fandom because there are like no popular straight ships which is a bit disappointing to be honest. I like queer representation but this is not just representation at this point because it’s left female characters seriously sidelined in any romance centered fics. Straight people do actually exist and queer people do actually have straight relationships sometimes and it’s really sad that all the most popular ships are made exclusively of men. I actually really like Shoto and Momo, partially because that was one of their feeble attempts at making themselves seem not sexist (though they failed through sheer sexualization) but also because I just think they’re cute.

[thebibliosphere]

So I'm currently unemployed because I got fired for taking too much sick leave (it was legally sketchy blah blah blah but in the end I just can't work and take care of myself and investigate my mystery health problems at the same time). So I've been spending more time writing!

I really admire your writing and loved Hunger Pangs. I'm looking forward to the poly elements developing and I'm wondering if you have any advice for writing about poly. I've made one of my projects a snarky take on "write what you know" ... Apparently what I know is southern gothic meets Pacific northwest gothic, chronic illness pandemic surrealism, and falling back-asswards into threesomes.

I know this is a very open-ended question and I don't expect an answer, I'm just curious about it if you have the energy. As a writer, trying to write honestly / realistically about polyamory/enm, I'm curious if you have any thoughts on what's different about portraying monogamy or nonmonogamy in books, romance or erotica or otherwise.

I'm trying to read examples but it's hard to find examples that fit the niche I'm looking at. Excuse me if this question is nonsense, it's the cluster headaches.

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that and solidarity on the cluster headaches. But I'm glad you're finding an outlet through writing! And I hope you're happy with an open-ended ramble in response because oh boy, there's a lot I could talk about and I could probably do a better job of answering this sort of thing with more specific questions, but let's see where we end up.

There's definitely a big difference between writing polyamory/ENM (ethical non-monogamy) and what people often expect from monogamous love stories.

Just even from a purely sales and marketing standpoint, the moment you write anything polyamorous (or even just straight up LGBTQIA+ without the ENM) you're going to get considered closer to being erotica/obscene than hetero romances. It's an unfair bias, but it's one that exists in our society. But also the Amazon algorithm and their shitty, shitty human censors. Especially the ones that work the weekends. (Talking to you, Carlos 🖕.)

So not only do you start out hyper-aware that you're writing something that is highly stigmatized or fetishized (at least I'm hyper-aware) but that you are also writing for a niche market that is starving for positive content because the content that exists is either limited, not what they want, or is problematic in some fashion i.e. highly stigmatized or fetishy. And even then, the wants, desires, and expectations of the community you're writing for are complex and wildly varied and hard to fit into an easy formula.

When writing monogamous love stories, there is a set expectation that’s really hard to fuck up once you know it. X person meets Y. Attraction happens, followed by some sort of minor conflict/resolution. Other plot may happen. A greater catalyst involving personal growth for both parties (hopefully) happens. Follow the equation to its ultimate resolution and achieve Happily Ever After. 

But writing ENM is... a lot more difficult, if only because of the pure scope of possibilities. You could try to follow the same equation and shove three (or more) people into it, but it rarely works well. Usually because if you’re doing it right, you won’t have enough room in a single character arc to allow for enough growth, and if ENM requires anything in abundance, it’s room to grow.

And this post is huge so I’m going to put the rest under a cut :)

There's also a common refrain in certain online polyam/ENM circles that triads and throuples are overrepresented in media and they may be right to some extent. Personally, I believe the issue isn't that triads and throuples are overrepresented, but that there is such minuscule positive rep of ethical non-monogamy in general, that the few tiny instances we have of triads in media make it seem like it's "everywhere" when in actuality, it's still quite rare and the media we do have often veers into Unicorn Hunter fetish porn. Which is its own problematic thing. And just to be clear, I’m not including this part to dissuade you from writing "falling back-asswards into threesomes." If anything, I need more of it and would hook it directly into my brain if I could. I'm just throwing it out there into the void in the hope that someone will take the thought and run with it, lol.

I’d love to see more polyfidelitous rep in fiction, just as much as I’d like to see more relationship anarchy too. More diversity in fiction is always good.

Another thing that differs in writing ENM romance vs conventional monogamy is the feeling like you need to justify yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be as healthy and non-problematic as possible because you are being held to a higher standard of criticism. Both from people from without the ENM communities, and from the people within. Granted, some people don't give a shit and just want to read some fantastic porn (valid) but there are those who will cheerfully read Fifty Shades of Bullshit and call it "spicy" and "romantic," then turn around and call the most tooth-rottingly-sweet-fluff about a queer platonic polycule heresy. That's just the way the world works.

(Pro-tip for author life in general: never read your own reviews; that way madness lies. I glimpsed one the other day that tagged Hunger Pangs as “ethical cheating” and just about had an aneurism.)

And while that feeling of needing to justify yourself comes from a valid place of being excluded from the table of socially accepted norms, it can also be to the detriment of both the story and the subject matter at hand. I've seen some authors bend so far over backward to avoid being problematic in their portrayal of ENM, they end up being problematic for entirely different reasons. Usually because they give such a skewed, rose-tinted perspective of how things work, it ends up coming off as well... a bit culty and obnoxious tbh.

“Look how enlightened we are, freed from the trappings of monogamy and jealousy! We’re all so honest and perfect and happy!”

Yeah, uhu, sure Jan. Except here’s the thing, not all jealousy is bad. How you act on it can be, but jealousy itself is an important tool in the junk drawer that is the range of human emotion. It can clue us in to when we’re feeling sad or neglected, which in turn means we should figure out why we’re feeling those things. Sometimes it’s because brains are just like that and anxiety is a thing. Other times it’s because our needs are actually being neglected and we are in an unhealthy situation we need to remedy. You gotta put the work in to figure it out. Which is the same as any style of relationship, whether it’s mono, polyam or whatever flavor of ENM you subscribe to* And sometimes you just gotta be messy, because that’s how humans are. Being afraid to show that mess makes it a dishonest portrayal, and it also robs you of some great cannon fodder for character development.

Which brings me in a roundabout way to my current pet peeve in how certain writers take monogamous ideals and apply them to ENM, sometimes without even realizing it. The “Find the Right Person and Settle Down” trope.

Often, in this case, ENM or polyamory is treated as a phase. Something you mature out of with age or until you meet “The One(tm).” This is, of course, an attempt to follow the mono style formula expected in most romances. And while it might appeal to many readers, it’s uh, actually quite insulting. 

To give an example, I am currently seeing this a lot in the Witcher fandom. 

Fanon Netflix!Jaskier is everyone's favorite ethical slut until he meets Geralt then woops, wouldn’t you know, he just needed to find The One(tm). Suddenly, all his other sexual and romantic exploits or attractions mean nothing to him. Let's watch as he throws away a core aspect of his personality in favor of a man. 

Yeah... that sure showed those societal norms... 

If I were being generous, I’d say it’s a poor attempt at showing New Relationship Euphoria and how wrapped up people can become in new relationships. But honestly, it’s monogamous bias eking its way in to validate how special and unique the relationship is. Because sometimes people really can’t think of any other way to show how important and valid a relationship is without defining it in terms of exclusivity. Which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how ENM works for a lot of people and invalidates a lot of loving, serious and long-term relationships.

This is not to say that some polyam/poly-leaning people can't be happy in monogamous relationships! I am! (I consider myself ambiamorous. I'm happy with either monogamy or polyamory, it really just depends on the relationship(s) I’m in.) But I also don't regard my relationship with a mono partner as "settling down" or "growing up." It's just a choice I made to be with a person I love, and it's a valid one. Just like choosing to never close yourself off to multiple relationships is valid. And I wish more people realized that, or rather, I wish the people writing these things knew that :P

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough. I hope this collection of incoherent thoughts actually makes some sense and might be useful. 

----

*A good resource book that doesn't pull any punches in this regard is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. It's a wonderfully insightful read that explores the messier side of consensual non-monogamy, especially with how it can be affected by trauma or inter-relationship conflicts. But it also shows how to take better steps toward healthy, ethical non-monogamy (a far better job than More Than Two**) and conflict resolution, making it a valuable resource both for someone who is a part of this relationship style***, but also for writers on the outside looking in who might have a very simple or misguided idea of what conflict within polyam/ENM relationships might look like, vs traditional monogamous ones.

** The author of More Than Two has been accused of multiple accounts of abuse within the polyamorous community, with many of his coauthors having spoken out about the gaslighting and emotional and psychological damage they experienced while in a relationship with him. A lot of their stories are documented here: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ (warning: it is not light material and deals with issues of abuse, gaslighting, and a whole other plethora of Yikes.) While some people still find More Than Two helpful reading, there are now, thankfully, much, much better resources out there.

*** Some people consider polyam/ENM to be part of their identity or orientation, while others view it as a relationship style.It largely depends on the individual. 

[parkers-gal]

Hi. I was wondering if u could do a Tom x reader story where y/n will randomly show up on set of avengers with a bouquet of flowers and give them to Tom and the rest of the crew members are going on about how cute that is. I don’t know if u are still taking requests but if u are I would love to see this. Or where the reader will just randomly show up with cute little gifts for Tom and everyone thinks it’s super cute ?

hiii hope u like this :):

wc: 1.4k <3

something sweet

—

The fresh scent of flowers wafts through your nose and brings a soft smile to your face. You’re outside the building that houses Tom, a small card and a bouquet of flowers in your hands. You’re merely dropping off a small message to Tom whilst he’s on set, just to let him know that you’re thinking of him.

You’ve been going out for about a month and a half, nothing exclusive and nothing labeled, but he’s the only person you’re going on dates with, and you’re the only person he’s going on dates with. It’s pretty exclusive, to be real.

And, it’s the second time this week you’re dropping a gift off at set for him. On Monday it was his favorite chocolate bar and a cute Spider-man pen, and today it’s a card and flowers. You’ve been dropping things off for about three weeks now. Even the security guards recognize you now.

Strolling up to the entrance of the building labeled “SET THREE,” you smile at the security man you’re approaching.

“Hi, Oliver.”

“Hey, Y/N. Here to see Tom?”

“Yep,” you smile and rock back and forth on your toes.

Oliver nods, says something into his walkie-talkie, and hands you a temporary pass to grant you clearance. “Tell the folks I said ‘hello.’”

You smile at the discreet mention of Tom and nod shyly. The electronic lock lights up green and the door unlocks. You swing it open, dress flowing while you walk through the familiar corridors. You pass Rachel on your way, and you give her a quick hug before continuing your journey.

By some chance of luck, you happen to reach set just as the director calls for a five minute break. Tom is pleasantly surprised to find you by his personal table set up in a corner of the room.

“Y/N?”

“Oh, hi,” you smile.

“Hey, darling. What’re you doing?” his hand goes to the small of your back, and he finally gets a glance at what you’re setting up on the table. A smile creeps up onto his face as he sees the fresh flowers resting on the table, and your handmade card standing upright. “Awh,” he looks at you with doe eyes. “Another gift?”

You shrug bashfully, and Tom pulls you closer so he can kiss your temple.

“You’re so sweet.”

You scrunch your nose up. “Maybe.” He giggles and you do too. “Just wanted to say hello before my lunch break ends.” Tom nods.

“‘M glad I got to see you.”

You mirror his smile. Unbeknownst to both of you, the lighting crew is discussing how cute the two of you are, and how ridiculously sweet you are. They’ve kept mental records of the gifts you’ve given Tom. Even if it’s just his favorite tea order and some banana bread, they all find it romantic. Even the directors find it adorable. It seems as if the entire crew thinks your relationship with Tom is the epitome of romance.

“Okay, well I should be heading out.”

“Okay,” Tom smiles. “Drive safe, okay?”

You hum and nod, and Tom gives your temple one last kiss before he’s waving you out.

And then, you repeat the same thing two days later, on Friday. You’d gotten off work early, thanks to your boss, so you decide to be extra special today and pick up a fresh batch of cookies from your favorite bakery downtown, perhaps maybe the entire crew could use a little snack. You manage to get Tom a coffee order and a small fidgeting toy to distract himself.

You find Oliver outside the entrance as always, and he’s delighted to see you again.

“Back again, Y/N?”

“You know it,” you smile before your eyes light up. “Oh! Can I offer you a cookie?” You open the package and hold out the assortment. Oliver’s face lights up and, with a grateful smile, he takes one and a napkin.

“Thanks, Y/N,” he smiles as if you’ve been longtime friends, and the feeling makes you warm in happiness. “Here’s your pass. Tell the crew I’ve said ‘hello.’’ You nod again and you walk through the door that Oliver has so nicely opened for you. Strolling through those same corridors, you don’t pass many people, which is only peculiar on the days that aren’t busy. So, as you reach the end of the hallway where the set door is, you find the red light above the door blinking rapidly, telling you that they’re in the middle of an important scene. You wait only over a minute before the light dies out and you open the door.

Rachel is the first person you see, and she smiles at you tiredly. You’re guessing it’s been a long, slow day. Arriving at the food table, you notice how bare it is, also assuming that the snacks have run low as the day had gone on.

You smile when you see a new vase set up as if someone was expecting new flowers to come in. You pluck one from a vase on the far end of the table, place it in the vase, and set up the freshly baked cookies. You lay out the napkins with a smile, and Rachel comes over to you just as you’re finishing up.

“Hey, Y/N. Tom’s been pretty busy today.”

“Oh! That’s okay,” you grin. “These are for everyone.”

“Aw,” she glances down at the delicious-looking desserts. “Then count me in. May I?”

You step aside so you’re not blocking the platter. “Be my guest.”

As you step aside, your foot hits a chug of unopened lemonade, and you find the dispenser empty. Connecting the dots, you reach for the lemonade, and with minimal assistance from Rachel, you refill the lemonade dispenser.

You’ve been onset for about ten minutes now, and over fifteen people have already plucked their cookies. Still, no sign of Tom.

“No work today?”

“Got off early,” you tell her. She nods.

“How jealous I am.”

You chuckle and rub your arms. “Seems pretty harsh down here.”

“Eh,” she shrugs. “Just slow.”

Just then, the scene ends and Tom is striding towards the food table.

“Thank god the lemonade is ref- Y/N!” He practically runs over. “What’re you doing here?” Both of his hands grab yours.

It’s occurred to you that you’re standing in front of the platter of cookies, so you once again move to the side so Tom can see them. “Just dropping something off.”

“You’re so sweet,” he pouts. “You didn’t have to get that for everyone.”

“Eh,” you laugh, “looks like you all could use something sweet.”

“I can’t tell if you’re talking about the cookies or yourself,” he nuzzles your nose.

“Yo, are those cookies?” Matthew from soundcheck interrupts.

“Yup,” Tom smiles proudly. “Y/N brought them in.”

“That’s dope. Can I have one?” He looks at you, and you nod with a laugh.

“Of course.”

“That’s so nice,” he waves at the two of you. “Off to work again.”

“Have I mentioned how much I love having you on set?” Tom grips your hands a little tighter. You smile at the boy.

“No, you have not.”

“Well, I think everyone agrees with me when I say you’re a great person to have around.”

“Is that so, Holland?” You tease. He rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. Just sayin’ thank you.”

“I know,” you pull him in so you can hug him.

“Thank you,” he says softly.

“Maybe this means you can finally ask her to be your girlfriend,” Rachel cuts in.

Tom’s mouth drops open in unamusement and you laugh at him. Rachel shrugs sheepishly, knowing she isn’t wrong.

“Now, now,” you usher her, “He’s still flowering. Let him go on his own pace.”

The two of you burst out into laughter and Tom scoffs at the fact that you’re ganging up on him.

“Whatever,” he says, pulling you in so he can kiss your forehead. “I’ll see you tonight, girlfriend?”

Your grin widens. “Okay… boyfriend.”

[sktsmiyasimp]

Representation of Male Trauma in the Hunger Games: Gale

CW: general violence from canon events, abandonment issues

Ok so it turns out I actually cannot shut up about this series so here’s another post about the depiction of trauma in the male characters in THG.

Something I really love about the series is again how SC plays with gender. From their upbringing to their traumas to their coping mechanisms, a lot of the male characters suffer wounds we often see in female characters and vice versa, whether it’s abandonment, parental wounds, various types of abuse, and trauma from relying on poor coping skills. Given that these stereotypes don’t hold IRL, it makes these depictions even more important to see and analyze. I dove into Peeta’s childhood trauma in my last THG post, so for this series I think I’ll focus on Gale, Finnick, and Haymitch, but I am happy to make another Peeta post too :))

Gale’s Love, Loss, and Loneliness:

I like to rag on Gale for fun on tiktok since I was a diehard Peeta fan when I first read the series (11 year old me definitely wished I had my personal baker boy!). However, I do genuinely believe he’s a good character, and a lot of the slander he faces regarding his relationship with Katniss is a direct reflection of his trauma growing up. This post focuses on how his abandonment issues lead to a violent grasping of control.

We learn early on that Gale lost his father at 14 in the same explosion that killed Katniss’s father. Additionally, while Hazelle is a much more involved parent than Mrs Everdeen is post-explosion, Gale still has to take on a lot in order to feed his family of five.

So not only does Gale have to grow up too fast, he also finds that he doesn’t have a lot of people he can rely on, emotionally or literally. He has his mother, but no male figure to look up to for guidance or advice. He also has his siblings, but when you have to raise your siblings like they’re your own kids, it often feels inappropriate to confide in them. Gale is, essentially, alone.

Then Gale finds Katniss in the woods. To Gale, Katniss is the one person he can rely on to both fully understand losing a father/growing up too quickly AND help feed his family. As shown throughout the series, they trust one another in ways they don’t trust anyone else. They make each other feel physically and emotionally safe to be themselves. They are, in fact, each other’s woods to escape in.

So, when Gale loses Katniss in the 74th games, he obviously feels distraught, especially when she doesn’t entirely come back to him despite surviving. The part of Katniss that felt safe and exclusively his died in the arena. Once again, Gale is alone.

Now, this part is where I like to kind of rag on him given that Katniss isn’t a possession. And really, if your best friend had to kiss someone else to survive a totalitarian regime’s death trap, then telling them about how upset you are about not being able to kiss them too seems insensitive and problematic.

But again, Gale has no adult father figure to help him navigate romance. He has never had much time or energy for anyone else. And in a world where his life could so easily be upended by an explosion or illness or reaping, Katniss was someone consistently in his life, someone who always showed up for him, someone with whom he could truly be himself. So, much like basically everyone in D12 (besides Katniss herself) thought, he kind of assumed that Katniss would be around forever. And when she suddenly wasn’t, well…it’s easy to see how this abandonment wound got triggered. And while saying “I had to do that, at least once” after kissing her traumatized and emotionally confused ass was rather selfish, Gale has never been allowed to be selfish in his life. Ultimately, an 18 year old with a shaky support system is not going to make the best decisions, communicate well, or cope perfectly every time. So his reaction, while unlikeable, makes sense.

Another thing I want to touch on with Gale is his plan with the bombs, both with the Nut and in the Capitol. People like to boil it down to “Gale murdered prim lmao,” and “Gale’s a war criminal,” and while Katniss will never be able to separate Gale from that act, it’s definitely more nuanced than the memes.

We see Gale’s plans become more and more sinister throughout Mockingjay (he’d definitely become a victor had he ever been reaped). While I obviously do not condone any of those plans, it’s hard not to empathize with him. The capitol repeatedly ripped up anything Gale saw as stable and happy. And again, without extensive support and lots of therapy, it makes sense that a fiery 18 year old who’s life has repeatedly been ruined emotionally would want revenge. For once in his life, Gale has control over what happens. His voice matters; he has a place amongst Coin’s elite forces and strategists, and he’s surrounded by likeminded people who have losses and angers just as large as his own. Unlike when he was just ranting to Katniss alone in the woods, he has an army full of people just like himself. Gale is no longer alone.

Additionally, he has some form of Katniss again…which is good in that he has his best friend around, but bad in that he also lives with the constant reminder of who she is now vs who she was before, and the person who did this to her—and who did this to him—is in closer reach than ever before.

The main issue lay in the fact that not only did most people (even Katniss) fail to direct that energy towards the correct target, but the higher ups that DID give Gale that sense of power and control actively encouraged these unmerciful plans. It really places Coin right on Snow’s level even before we learn of her plans for the new games, killing off the victors, or extinguishing Katniss’s spirit. The ways in which she manipulated the young, the emotionally vulnerable, and the angry really hinted at her villainy all along, and Gale and Katniss’s relationship was unfortunately a casualty. Of course, we never really know what may have been, and of course Gale’s anger and fire probably would have led to their downfall anyway. But Coin using Gale’s trauma to her advantage definitely turned a potential into a reality.

TL;DR:

Gale’s weak support system, repeated abandonment, and lack of control made his character painfully realistic. While some of his actions certainly made him unlikable and ruined his relationship with Katniss, I think he deserves some slack given his circumstances.

Edit: while I call Gale’s support system weak, I don’t mean that his mother/Katniss/other family don’t care for him. It’s just that a support system isn’t really a strong system if there are only one or two people that you can only partially rely on.

[wordsnstuff]

10 Mistakes to Avoid When Writing About Mental Illness

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Reinforcing Stereotypes

This goes without saying, but neurodivergent people (and characters) each experience and cope with their mental illnesses differently. Schizophrenia is not simply hallucinations. Depression is not simply feeling suicidal. Anxiety is not simply consistent fear or unease. Your character, depending on what causes/triggers their symptoms, will present their mental illnesses differently, both on the inside and outside. A person’s experience of mental illness is affected by their environment, their background, their priorities, their personality, and their other struggles. Reflect this in their story, rather than reading a long list of general symptoms and checking them off in your draft. 

1 Symptom Sally

Mental illness affects every aspect of an individual’s life. It’s more complicated and far-reaching than simply “having a harder time than everyone else”. Depression, for instance, is frequently portrayed with an acute emphasis on the symptoms of fatigue, lack of motivation, and sadness. However, depression has a lot of symptoms that many aren’t aware are connected to the illness, such as executive dysfunction, irritability, and sickness. Even those with a general diagnosis of a mental illness aren’t going to have that diagnosis just because they feel sad a lot of the time. There must be more, and it must be shown.  

Romanticizing Suicide

There’s a delicate balance between depicting the reality and gravity of suicidal thoughts/ideation and making it sound appealing. If you’re reading a story, narrated by a character who has suicidal tendencies, it’s inevitable that their thought process will justify or rationalize those thoughts. Approach this with care, and remember that as a writer, you have influence over your readers (whether intentionally or not), and you should prioritize the responsibility you have to avoid romanticizing suicide over the task of portraying it accurately. Some things simply hurt more than they help. 

Generalizing Experiences

Mental illness is inconsistent. Some people display two or three symptoms that are easily recognized, but some experience symptoms most don’t even associate with those illnesses at all. For example, generalized anxiety disorder can present in individuals with a more physically debilitating set of effects, rather than primarily manifesting in feelings of fear or unease. Yes, anxiety is the state of being anxious, but it can also be sensory overload, executive dysfunction, flu-like illness, and fatigue. Every mental illness is unique to the individual who struggles with it, so be aware that your characters should be representing that reality as well. 

Ignoring Coping Mechanisms

Most people who have a mental illness that has progressed to the point of seeking a diagnosis and perhaps treatment have established various levels of coping mechanisms. These can be things like substance abuse or self harm, but they can also be more subtle, like hyper-fixation on media they like or excessive reliance on friends or family. If you’re going to write a character with a mental illness, you should know what they have to do to get through the day. What exercises have they adopted to adapt to their situation? What effect have these mechanisms had on their lifestyle and relationships?

Illnesses Having No Effect On Relationships

Mental illness, especially after having struggled with them for a long period, affects who we are, how we behave and interact, and changes our priorities and thought process. It’s inevitable that it will impact our relationships with other people. In order to accurately depict this experience, you have to also know the characters on the other side, who are maintaining a relationship with your neurodivergent character. What are their thoughts on mental health? How well do they understand what your character is experiencing? Are they more likely to want to be there for or distance themselves from the character because of their mental illness? Strain on relationships can be a very distinct part of a neurodivergent person’s experience with mental illness, and it’s important to represent that. The stigma is still very real and shows up regularly, even in little ways, and in a more accommodating world.

Extreme Cases Only

Some people experience mental illness on a chronic level, others do not. There’s Seasonal Affective Disorder, which tends to only present symptoms in certain periods of the year for various reasons, for example. It could be classified as a “less severe” form of depression, and it’s very common. Not all depression is the same, and it doesn’t always result in severe cases of suicidal ideation or self harm. If you only depict characters in the most extreme cases, who experience their symptoms at the highest level at all times, you may be reinforcing stereotypes about neurodivergence that have taken decades to dismantle. Not everyone with mental illness has an extreme case, and pretending they do can reinforce the idea that all neurodivergent people are “crazy”. 

Good Days vs. Bad Days

Neurodivergent individuals usually experience their symptoms on a wide spectrum of severity. There are good and bad days, and everything in between. Sure, some days, one may experience virtually no symptoms and be very happy and productive, and be totally unable to maintain their composure on others. However, the majority of the time is occupied by a middle ground. Days where a person isn’t constantly on the verge of a panic attack, but they struggle to accomplish their typical agenda, and they feel a variety of symptoms at noticeable, but more manageable level. Symptoms can also intensify steadily and endure for variable periods of time. 

Curing Mental Illness With Romance

Let me say this clearly, and insist you don’t argue: mental illness cannot be cured by a relationship. I admit that new relationships or positive attention can offset symptoms, but if a character’s mental illness (such as depression or anxiety) miraculously resolves because a new partner comes into their life, they either weren’t mentally ill in the first place, or you have misunderstood mental illness. There can be months or even years where someone can go without experiencing their symptoms at a noticeable level, but they will always be neurodivergent, and a new partner isn’t going to change that. That portrayal minimizes the experience of mental illness and trivializes symptoms people suffer with every single day. Do not do this. Please. Just don’t. You can say your character has prolonged period of sadness, but you cannot slap the word “depression” on them, then have all their symptoms disappear because they’ve got a hot date.

Not Every Illness Is Caused By Trauma

This is simply a point of knowledge more writers should have a grasp of. Mental illness can be caused by genetics, chemical imbalances, deficiencies, severe and prolonged stress, longterm health conditions, social isolation or loneliness, etc. It’s natural that in a fictional story where mental illness may be an important aspect, that trauma is one of the more sensational causes to apply to your character, but if you have a cast with diverse experiences of neurodivergence, it’s unlikely that all of them will have a basis in trauma. Neurodivergence is not a one-size-fits-all. 

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[wolfstrela]

queerbaiting is when you promote or imply something to get the queer audience and then you don't deliver. people were saying it was queerbaiting because different official stranger things and netflix accounts were promoting a lot of byler during june and then immediately stopped once july and volume two came, where we saw that mike was "completely oblivious" which led people to feeling duped. people also felt that way because there are plenty of instances where the problems that mileven have or the requests that el demands from mike are things that mike easily and readily gives to will without being prompted or problems that he and will never have (specifically in season four, not even counting one or two)—behaviors which he doesn’t even show with dustin or lucas, showing that his relationship with will is different entirely. the show implying all of that for will and then never actually doing anything with it would have been queerbaiting yes, but that isn’t the only way that they would’ve been queerbaiting. regardless, we still have to wait until season five considering how up in the air and intertwined that love triangle is after those confessions and eleven’s journey to self-realization. a show doesn’t have to be about the lgbt community to be able to queerbait. any film or show can do that. not only that, but everyone else’s internal issues get addressed somehow eventually despite it being a show “about kids facing other worldly monsters”.

I see what you're saying and I agree to some extent. I didn't see the byler posts promoting stuff, so that's on me and this whole conversation might be over nothing substantial 🤦🏽‍♀️

My posts were referring to what I've seen in the show and what I saw some people saying around here on tumblr about it.

Exclusively talking about their relationship depicted in the show, though, I still don't think byler is queerbaiting, didn't get the vibes they were implying anything, and here's why:

I rewatched the first 3 seasons last week and I saw their friendship and how special it was, but to me there was no doubt they were always following the mileven path. I even asked some people about it and they agreed (dunno if this really changes anything but they were queer people, so there's no 'straight bias' or anything).

I think if Mike treated Will differently from Dustin and Lucas it's because Will is different. He is more sweet and sensitive, it's his personality, who he is (independent of anything). And also, baby boy spent an entire week in the Upside Down, then came back and kept having "episodes", basically being haunted. Will's been through different shit, things none of his friends understand. And Mike s1 and s2, who is so different from Mike s4, reacted the best way he could about it, because he cared. They're best friends, and I think the show proved Mike would do anything for his friends. Remember the time he jumped off a cliff to prevent Dustin getting stabbed by that bully? I mean, he could've died if Eleven hadn't saved him. Idk, to me that speaks more about Mike's (wholesome) personality than anything else. You can disagree.

In my original post I said "just because Will likes Mike doesn't mean Mike has to like Will back", and I still agree with that statement. That's not exactly queerbaiting. Just feels like there's a lot of wishful thinking going on when it comes to byler. I get the romance vibes from Will, but I don't really feel like Mike reciprocates it (and, hey, maybe I'm wrong, it's just how I felt watching the show).

And just to make sure: I know “a show about kids facing other worldly monsters” could queerbait, I know any show can queerbait being queer or not, I said on my post:

“it's about kids facing other worldly monsters — and sure, a show like this could potentially queerbait if it wanted to, but i don't really believe it's the case here.”

And what I mean with that is that I just don't feel like they did this in the episodes — again highlighting that I didn't see the byler promoting stuff (my fault, I guess). If, however, you're telling me they did this with their promoting tactics, then I guess that's a different thing and you might be right.

(based on what I just told you, I didn't see any queerbait, but based on what you told me, perhaps the show did queerbait, just not how I thought, so there would be space for both of us to be kinda right-ish.)

Just wanna say I'm not coming from a bad place. I'm open to being wrong. I don't mind Byler; in fact, if they became endgame that would be cool (though I gotta say I'd be surprised af). Mileven is so boring now 😮‍💨

Tbh, I just came back to this topic in the first place because I wasn't comfortable with what (or how) I said about "Will having to come out". It sounded like "or else that would absolutely be queerbaiting" and that's dumb, you know? That's it. I said dumb stuff and changed my mind about it

I hope this makes some sense

[akaashisupremacy]

Brimming with Hope

Summary: Having broken off your engagement for an arranged marriage with Gojo, your relationship is in shreds. As you two give your relationship a second chance, what does hope look like to two disillusioned lovers?  

Gojo Satoru  x reader

Multi-fandom Masterlist || HQ Masterlist || Ao3 version

Genre: fluff, angst, exes to friends to lovers (wc: 1.5k)

“I don’t think they’ve fully made up their mind about me.” Gojo Satoru confesses to Nanami Kento.

In between assignments and his students, Gojo finds Nanami at Tokyo Jujutsu Tech’s grounds. They’re strolling along one of the many wooden hallways when Gojo opens up about you, his ex-fiancee and his current lover.

“What makes you say that?” Nanami rarely involved himself in other people’s romantic entanglements. Too much work really.

Gojo shrugs and sighs, “It’s like their affection is platonic. They care about me as a person, but I’m not sure if they have romantic feelings for me.”

The latest development of his relationship with you has been nothing short of daunting. Your relationship, albeit not exclusive was running past the six month mark. The longer he stayed around you the more pressure he felt. Commitment is not his thing. Dating his ex is also not his thing. But you certainly are.

“Can you blame them?” Nanami snorts, “How does it feel to be at the other end of the uncertainty?”

Gojo scowls in silence, hands pressed deep into his pocket.

“Well if they’re going out with you and stuff, then that’s not platonic.” Nanami offers. “Just make sure you’re not just fucking around again. Some people deserve better, Gojo. Leave them alone if you can’t get your shit together.”

Gojo stops walking. Nanami’s words are harsh and cold, voicing Gojo’s ultimate fear about himself.

Gojo opens his mouth and closes it shut. Nanami raises a brow. He senses some hesitation.

“Everything we do feels more intimate. I’ve been with other people, but this feels so…so….deep.” he murmurs.

Nanami turns around and snorts, “It’s the feelings. You’ve caught feelings.”

“This relationship feels so temporary...just when I feel like I’ve settled in, I’m to be up on my toes knowing this isn’t going to last. I realized they eventually want a family, but not with me. Because that’s just not me. It feels like there’s a time bomb waiting to go off.” Gojo continues, his tone silent and mournful.

More than anyone, Gojo knows you deep desire to be married and have a quiet family life. It's something he doesn't want and it pains him to know that you'll eventually go your separate ways.

Nanami breathes out, waiting for Gojo to catch up with a few long strides, “You can’t have everything.”

“I don’t need everything. Just the things that count.” Gojo replies, walking by Nanami’s side.

“Then you have to look for a happy middle, for you and for them.” Nanami shrugs.

Gojo scratches his head. What can he do?

————————————————————————————— You walk out of the morgue to leave Ieri to her work. As you step out, you come face to face with Nanami, who looks surprised that you’re here.

“Didn’t expect you to be around Ieri’s lair.” he comments.

“I didn’t expect to have a casualty either.” you shrug, waving around a file.

You hardly ever see Nanami after graduating. The school grounds were big. Your schedules never line up. Neither of you were particularly close.

He silently looks around if Ieri is behind you.

“So you and Gojo…” he trails.

You roll your eyes and cross your arms, “Not you too! You know what, instead of asking me, you should ask Gojo and his commitment issues, for updates.”

Your voice rings louder on the empty walls than you intended.

“I did.” he replies.

“And?”

“Commitment issues with a capital “C” indeed.” Nanami states, as if the fact was self-evident. What’s new? You sniff.

“It’s unusual to see him so conflicted about you. You used to be his rock.” he adds.

Your eyes narrow, as if asking for more information. You were never really sure how Gojo felt about you when you two were younger. He seemed attracted during your brief arranged engagement, but his attention obviously flitted elsewhere after that.

Nanami relents, “When we were freshmen, you reminded him of home. He pretends not to be homesick all the time. He’s not very good at hiding it when he talks about you.”

“Well, that feeling didn’t last, did it?” you murmur just loud enough for Nanami to hear.

The outside of the morgue has always been a little dark. You wished the lights were dimmer because you know Nanami is observing you.

“Not to defend him, but he was so wrapped in you and your engagement that he needed to find who he was outside of that. He likes attention, too. Can’t deny that. But his affections were sincere for a time.” he says, “I don’t know where his feelings stand right now. This isn’t to give you false hope, but he can be in love, even though it’s against his greater instincts and experience.”

He bows briefly to excuse himself. He needs to head in.

“But you already know that deep down. Out of all of us, you know him the longest, and I would argue, the best.” he adds.

You're left outside stunned by his words. Out of all his surviving friends, you assumed it was Nanami who knew him better than everyone else. It was you. You knew him best, even when Gojo wasn't by your side.

You smile a bit. There are some bonds broken romances can't break.

———————————————————— On a train home from your assignment, you find the bullet train crowded as usual. Rush hour is the bane of your existence in Tokyo.

As you try to find an empty seat, you’re surprised to find Gojo opening some sort of regional snack (again).

“How is it that you have so much time for souvenir shopping?” you groan in comment.

“It’s nice to see you, too.” he offers the seat next to his.

You plop down beside him, distracted. You think back to what Nanami said earlier. What was it that Nanami said? That you were Gojo’s rock? What did that mean really?

He tries to offer you some food. You wave him off dismissively. After gathering your thoughts, you decisively turn to him.

“I just want to know,” you swallow, “How did you feel about me when we were kids.”

With his mouth ajar, he blinks. Where was this coming from?

“Why?” he instinctively asks.

You purse your lips, “I’ve been meaning to ask for the longest while. I want to know your answer.”

He leans back into his seat and puts his food down in concentration.

“I thought I knew what love was and it came in the form of you. It’s kind of dumb. What would a teenager know about that kind of stuff?” he shrugs, “I liked the idea that you liked me. You were someone who supported me. You were there for me. You were generous with your time and affection.

“Looking back it’s just infatuation, isn’t it?" he asks rhetorically.

“You sounded naive.” you say, neither agreeing nor disagreeing.

He chuckles, “Who wouldn’t be at that age?”

“And sincere.” you followed up with a smile.

Gojo turns away from you. He sees glimpses of your early teenage years when he sees that smile. It was the smile you wore when he visited you at your clan’s home and helped out with your chores. You liked it when he would carry the firewood you gathered from the forest.

“...you made me feel so grown up, like I had my life together. Not everyone liked who they were engaged to, but I really liked you and you had believed in me so much.” he murmurs, “I felt so lucky to be able to marry you one day. I was literally brimming with hope. But that was 13 years ago.”

You both get off the train. The crowded station greets you both. Although you walk side by side, it is too easy for the crowd to sweep you away. You hold onto his sleeve. He doesn't notice.  

You try to say goodbye when you make it out, but he seems distracted. You begin to walk away.

“You’re not saying goodbye?” he asks, startled.

“I did, but you didn’t mind me.” you smirk with your arms crossed.

“Sorry. There’s a lot going on in my mind.” he nods, walking up beside you.

He leans in to plant a kiss on your cheek. You pull away.

“We’re in public,” you remind him. Gojo isn’t public with you on anything.

He kisses you anyway, pressing his lips on your cheek. You’re surprised but not unpleasantly so. His kiss is long and lingering. You embrace him with your arms around his waist. You briefly close your eyes to drown out the noise of the station.

Gojo can feel his heart racing a thousand kilometers per second. His shoulders relax. It's strangely freeing to be able to kiss you in public.

He knows he’s not into commitment, but whenever he sees you, he questions myself.

“I have to go now.” you bid softly.

I love you. He holds back. He waves carefully to not let his words escape his mouth. He’s not fifteen anymore. He should know better.

Gojo begins walking back to Jujutsu Tech. Being able to kiss you goodbye made him feel so grown up, like he has his life together more than he actually does. It makes him feel, once again, that he is brimming with hope.

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I wrote this as a follow up for another Gojo x reader fic who used to be engaged. Check out the other parts!

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5 || Part 6 || Part 7 || Part 8

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Series Taglist: @tokyo-love-hotel@samkysnks@herownescape@cherrianne192@shamelessdonutsludgebanana@kageyamakock@shirostrbl@luvang3l@cloudsinthecosmos@httpjungoo @saturnki  @itstheee-ha-chan@gucci-froggy @soy1melk @dora-the-grownup @cherryonigiri @fiona782

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[gaycatwizard]

I feel like... aromantic identities should be talked about more. Asexual identities, too, but aromantic identities tend to get overlooked or ignored, while asexual identities are getting a teensy tiny bit of spotlight lately (good, as they should). I also think that the concepts of asexuality and aromanticism tend to be thought of differently in ways that they... shouldn't necessarily be? Like, to me, the idea of someone being asexual and perhaps still having a sex drive/libido and/or still having sex or entering a sexual relationship is just... inherent. That makes sense to me, an ace-spec person, I get that, and, while it often has to be because aspec identities are very often misunderstood, that fact shouldn't have to be explained in my opinion. It should just... come with the identity. Not every ace/acespec person will have a sex drive or want/like sex or enter a sexual relationship (whether part of another type of relationship, too, or solely sexual), but some do/will, and that's fine, too. But for aromantic people... I feel like the assumed definition isn't the same as asexual? Where it's "does not experience sexual attraction, but may still desire sex or partake in it". While aromantic is often assumed to mean "does not experience romance or romantic feelings at all ever, hates romance, never wants anything to do with it". But like... this is a realization I came to only recently, myself, but... aromantic is the same as asexual but just a different type of attraction. It's "does not experience romantic attraction, but may still desire romantic affection and/or partake in romantic relationships/romance as a whole." It's the same thing. I get it can be hard to grasp for allo people, but the idea of liking/wanting sex, romance, etc. and experiencing attraction are separate. They often go hand in hand, the same way most people don't need or want to use the SAM, but they're separate. Allo people can lack a libido or have disinterest in relationships. They're still allo. And aspec people can have a libido, want/enjoy sex and romance, seek out romantic relationships, etc. They're still aspec. I usually explain it with hunger. I can be hungry, my body can physically and psychologically tell me to take in nutrients... without craving any food in particular. I'm not hungry for anything, but I'll still eat. I like eating, I like food, I just never feel a specific hunger for any specific food. I just need food. And it's that simple. An asexual person probably doesn't experience sexual attraction to anyone, but that doesn't mean they lack sexual desire completely. Some ace people do, that's fine, but not all of them. Same with aromantic people. They probably don't experience romantic attraction to anyone, but that doesn't mean they can't feel and experience and enjoy and want romance. Some don't, and that's okay, but that's not every aromantic/arospec person. And I get that like... society is getting to be a bit more aware of asexuality as a whole and the general concept of "sex isn't what makes us human, not enjoying it and not wanting it are perfectly fine and normal, and maybe we shouldn't expect everyone to want and desire sex". But the amatonormativity is still there and it's still super pervasive. Society just... assumes and demands that everyone will (1) experience romantic attraction, (2) desire a romantic relationship, (3) enter into a long-term, exclusive, monogamous romantic relationship, (4) prioritize that romantic relationship over any and all other relationships, and (5) feel that this romantic attraction and courtship is what makes us human. It's not. It shouldn't be assumed. Why can't people be single and be happy in society's eyes, without actively seeking and pursuing a relationship, attempting to "fix" the fact that they're single? Why is a lack of romantic attraction, regardless of relationship status and interest, so hard to grasp? Why do people assume that a romantic relationship is going to be the most important and highest priority one in anyone and everyone's

life? I just... grrr... and that's coming from an aromantic/arospec person who isn't even romance-repulsed or romance-negative. To be fair, I fucking HATE the pervasive forced romantic B-plots in any and every non-romantic genre movie and show. It's stupid, the characters are almost always cishet, white, and attractive, so there's no fucking variety or representation and it feels like that's the only "acceptable" relationship in society, and the characters... so rarely have chemistry? Even like... platonic chemistry? It so often feels like the characters don't even like each other, or can't stand each other... and yet... oh for no reason at all they kiss and date because clearly no one will watch a movie if hot cishet white people don't makeout. Which... isn't true. But grrr...

[readinginthereadyroom]

let’s talk about 9-1-1 buddie headcanons:

- eddie gets rid of his truck. christopher is getting older and wants more independence so he gets something with better clearance. and I’ve decided that something is a dodge durango. eddie is actually really into it. can’t stop talking about the fold down seats and towing capabilities. buck teases him and calls it his soccer mom van. then immediately starts researching CP-friendly soccer leagues for chris.

- buck strikes me as a podcast kinda guy. I feel like a lot of his random facts probably start with information learned via podcast and then researched separately on google or wikipedia. 

- luddite eddie my beloved. but not like luddite luddite. eddie’s a millennial so I see him as okay with all the 20th century technology he grew up with and just not all the newfangled smart home/internet gaming stuff. 

- abuela gives eddie an old turntable and a box of records and he falls in love with it. likes to play spanish love songs while cleaning on the weekends.

- eddie breaks up with ana. he does it quietly and cordially a couple weeks after the sniper incident.

- buck and taylor date for a little while but never really take off. and it’s super important that it’s buck who makes the decision to break up. they both have very busy lives and different priorities. and taylor acknowledges she probably shouldn’t have kissed him in the first place. she just hated to see buck so broken and wanted to comfort him. they decide they are better as friends.

- bosko and eddie friendship rights! eddie actually apologizes to her and they become gym buddies. lena stops going to the junkyard fights and finds an MMA gym that she’ll take eddie to. during the pandemic they somehow find themselves doing socially distanced tai-chi in the park. they keep it up once the gyms reopen.

- side note: lena does in fact get a cat. he’s a huge floofy maine coon named sarge who absolutely adores eddie. rubs his head all over him and immediately worms his way into his lap when eddie visits. he hisses at buck tho and lena finds it endlessly hilarious.

- demisexual eddie! I like the idea of lena no-nonsense asking eddie if he’s ace one day and eddie just having an internal panic attack but not being able to figure out why. karen gently brings it up few months later and he’s just deny deny deny. then he overhears david telling michael that he gives off ace vibes and that’s the last straw. so eddie pulls a full buck and starts researching just to prove everyone wrong. except it’s like a lightbulb clicks on and yeah. maybe there’s something to this.

- eddie and karen have a book club every other week. usually novellas or a short story collection. queer theory and literary fiction. the occasional poetry book. at some point they invite david to join them. they also have a not-so-secret romance novel exchange because they are big saps.

- eddie is also a sucker for a really good cup of black coffee. has a favorite hole-in-the-wall cafe where he buys beans in bulk. buck calls it his diesel fuel drink and grimaces at the taste. he prefers simple oatmilk latte from the place near the station. and yet buck always seems to know what days eddie will be running late and rushing to work and has a cup from said hole-in-the-wall coffee waiting. despite it not being on buck’s route. 

- christopher loves buck’s loft. buck keeps a stash of toys and coloring books in his coffee table trunk for when he visits. chris sees the stairs as a fun challenge and will often ask to go up and sit on buck’s bed to watch the city. or sit on the patio while buck bbq’s dinner for the three of them. he thinks it’s the coolest house ever.

- buck actually rides his bike. it’s not just for show. especially after the pandemic hit. he likes to go out in the mornings. drives to a nearby trail on his days off and enjoys the scenery while the sun comes up. sometimes eddie and chris meet him there after his ride and they have a breakfast picnic.

- the diaz-buckley-han’s share one netflix account. it’s technically buck’s in that he pays for it, but when maddie moved to LA he set her up with her own profile. then logged into his account at eddie’s one day and never logged out. renamed the profile buck & eddie after he setup a kid’s profile specifically for chris. then after learning about maddie and chim’s not-dating buff-fridays, buck put both their names on her profile as a prank. and then it just stayed that way. jee-yun even has a profile despite being a literal infant that doesn’t watch tv. maddie cried when she saw it.

- buck takes the legal guardianship thing very seriously. he’s already really involved in essentially co-parenting chris but he starts getting really nervous about asking invasive questions about chris’ medical history. so eddie sits him down with chris and the three of them talk about it. eddie very specifically asks chris if he’s okay with sharing that kind of info with buck. because even tho christopher’s a kid eddie always wants him to have a say in his own health decisions. then he has a more in-depth convo with just buck about insurance and bills and doctor’s visits. makes sure buck has access to all of it. 

- chris played secret matchmaker. went to his old friend santa claus and asked if buck would stay forever. santa came thru, as always.

- also carla knows. buck starts spending more nights at the diaz house and one morning she lets herself in and sees buck coming out of eddie’s room in just a pair of sweatpants. she gives him a coy eyebrow raise and buck blushes. then she just laughs, pats his cheek affectionately, and says your secret’s safe with me buckaroo. when a bleary-eyed eddie wanders out a half hour later she pushes a cup of coffee into his hands, waits a few moments, looks eddie dead in the eyes, and points at buck. I see you took my advice. eddie chokes on his coffee.

- speaking of carla she is family. she and her husband are regular guests at the 118 get-togethers, holidays at the firehouse, and family meals. she occasionally takes on other clients, but she’s mostly exclusive to the diazes these days. esp as christopher gets older and wants more independence. she’s been around since he was 7 and he’s comfortable with her. she stays his home heath care aide until she retires. then she personally vets a new one. because not just anyone will do for her boy. they throw her a huge retirement party.

- gonna jump into the future because christopher absolutely names his daughter carla shannon buckley-diaz. there isn’t a dry eye in the house.

- and I don’t actually see chris calling buck pops or anything. he’s just his buck. tho I can see eddie asking christopher if he wants to hyphenate his last name when buck officially adopts him. buck’s his hero so chris is 100% onboard. 

- buck and eddie don’t have more kids. eddie never wanted more and buck is surrounded by the ever-expanding horde of firefam kids. they love their little trio.

- also eddie is hilariously terrible with other kids. he just. doesn’t know how to talk to them. he’s literally the best father ever with christopher, but any other kid and he’s all awkward hello small human. it’s also the reason the team sends buck to handle kid rescues. he knows how to speak to kids and they light up around his sunshine energy. but then there are certain kids who just glom onto eddie. usually the quiet ones. they find something about his calm dad presence very soothing so they just cling to him until buck can coax them around. 

- I do not see the buckley-diazes getting a pet. buck and eddie work long shifts and it’s not fair to put that kind of extra responsibility on carla when her job is to care for chris. however, as chris gets older he does get a mobility service dog to help with counterbalance. she’s a golden retriever named stella and she’s a very good girl. 

- buck proposes by accident. they’re at the park with christopher and marriage just sorta comes up during one of his infodumps. eddie is eating his sandwich, nodding along, and just casually says of course I want to marry you. buck stops talking. christopher giggles. eddie panics. but when he looks at buck he’s all puppy-eyed and hopeful. you do? eddie nods. chris chimes in with a stage whispered ask properly buck and say yes dad. so they do.